#her videos are super factual and fun to listen to

[gldnstrngs]

merlin characters & the kpop groups they’d stan

(this is not factual at all. this is just me putting my interests together as a neurodivergent person is prone to do LMAO)

merlin: he would probably get into kpop listening to 2nd gen groups casually such as SNSD, but absolutely LOVE txt when they have their first comeback with “the dream chapter: magic”!!! trust that he would be at the barricades at their concerts

arthur: he would’ve known about kpop through morgana and gwen, but very likely tease them about it. merlin would be the reason why he actually starts listening and he would become super attached to bts. i can see him connecting to their lyricism and the humanitarian causes they support :’)

gwen: she would love stayc. she is a cutie. stayc are cuties. it just makes sense!!! she would’ve been their #1 supporter since their debut. also she would’ve been one of the stans to defend “teddy bear” with her life (because it IS a bop!)😭

morgana: trust that she would discover purple kiss’ “intro: crown” music video and become OBSESSED with them. she would love their aesthetics and the witchy vibes of their songs. before that, she would’ve listened to dreamcatcher because of their vibes and also casually listen to kpop in general, but it’s purple kiss that she becomes a stan of

leon: i can see him having an appreciation for 2nd gen kpop groups. i’m not really sure why like it’s really just the vibes he gives. he would get song recommendations from merlin and find himself liking shinee the most, but would overall still be a casual listener

lancelot: something tells me that he would LOVE red velvet. no explanation just vibes. i feel like he would bop to “peek-a-boo” and bad boy idk… he’d also probably listen to txt and stayc for merlin and gwen but for him, red velvet stays 🔛🔝

elyan: he would’ve definitely listened to stayc at first because of gwen and like them a lot, but stumble across seventeen and be obsessed with “very nice” 😭 he would probs still be a casual listener but be tuned in for every comeback

gwaine: TRUST that he would stan a group as cunty as kiss of life. he would’ve already started listening to some groups because of merlin (his impact🙂‍↕️) but really vibe with kiss of life when they debuted. he would definitely play “midas touch” on repeat frfr. additionally, he would also love le sserafim and enhypen because they are also cunty

percival: twice. he would love twice. why? because the idea that a big tall strong man loving a slayful girl group like twice is iconic. he would have been there for their pre-debut survival show “sixteen” and be a sana stan for life. he would learn all of their dances in private and try to not dance to them any time he hears their songs

mordred: he would listen to kpop so merlin would finally like him LMAO. he would definitely vibe with txt, but i think he would hear “oh my god” by (g)-idle and be drawn to them. rip mordred you would’ve loved soojin😔

uther: ok hear me out. uther would NOT gaf about kpop. he would probably think it’s evil because of all the magical concepts groups follow. but he would then hear aespa and listen to their entire discography while pretending to be a kpop hater

gaius: he would’ve learned about kpop through merlin (once again, his impact!!!) and like txt. ultimately, he would just be a casual listener mainly for merlin

(if there are any more characters that people want to know which kpop groups they’d listen to then lmk bc this had no business being so much fun)

[stemfandomtrash]

IMPORTANT ANIMAL PSA

I was watching an amazingly researched video on puppy mills, and the YouTuber pointed out something that’s super important. If a breeder is certified by the American Kennel Club (AKC), that does NOT mean that the dog isn’t from a puppy mill! I’ll add more info below, but the TLDR is that

AKC has instances of certifying puppy mills

These mills can be incredibly cruel to dogs (animal abuse trigger warning should you read on)

As someone who is/knows people who are extremely allergic to dogs and needs buy from breeders (allergies to animals are literally deadly serious, but that’s another rant), I am fully aware that not everyone can just go through shelters to get pets because that just isn’t a feasible option. (However, if you can, do so! I strongly recommend it!)

However, the Humane Society and journalists have found multiple instances of the AKC certifying breeders that are actually shady puppy mills and bribing officials to strike down bills that would keep them from being as heavily scrutinized (including one that actually got bipartisan support in the house but the AKC killed in the senate). The issue with breeders is firstly the genetic issues that can crop up with these dogs.

Because of the settings, these dogs often lack mental stimulation which can severely stunt mental and social growth later in life, which in and of itself is seriously sad. The more pressing issue though are the genes. Genetic issues among puppy mills are super common and can lead to death or life-long health struggles that keep the dog from living their best life. Some dogs are even killed by the breeders because of their genetic deformities. And since most of these mills don’t have licensed vets, the dogs are often brutally put down (shot, bashed, drowned, etc. I wanted to throw up when I heard it).

The litters are also abnormally large to handle (especially for small dogs) with 9-10 pups in your average litter being born from a mum every year. It’s super draining, and loads of the dogs are weaned earlier than recommended, so that’s often what leads to further health/social complications for these pups.

There’s loads more that I could go into (I didn’t even get into the physical abuse these puppies often suffer, the specifics on a case with the Bleu Moon certification/issues, unsanitary conditions, etc.), but if you take away anything, it’s this:

Puppy mills are often super inhumane, and their treatment of dogs is brutal. (You likely already knew that, but I can’t reiterate it enough.)

Pet stores, flea markets, and mills themselves tend to be the hot spots. As heartbreaking as it is, do not buy these dogs. The businesses continue because it is profitable, and since the costs are often way more expensive than going to shelters, even buying one dog is a serious incentive for these places to keep doing what they’re doing.

A really good way to check at pet stores and whatnot is by asking for documentation of where the dog came from (like papers telling you the dog’s parents, genetic conditions, etc.). Mills aren’t upheld to the same standards and certifications of actual qualified breeders, so this can be a good sign. (Obviously not all stores are getting pets from mills, so this is a good rule of thumb.)

If you want more info, I highly recommend watching the video I linked at the beginning of the post. It’s 40 minutes but way more comprehensive than this post and has all of its sources linked below. The narrator also talks about her experiences with her dog (with, at least on the basic level of being a viewer, I can say that her research/interest is prevalent through 2+yrs of video content, and her dog’s issues prevalent in some of his videos over the past year, so take that as you will), which is honestly heartbreaking.

[rosesloveletters]

As we approach the anniversary of Heath Ledger’s passing, I would like to use my platform to discuss a few things I find increasingly important that we, as fans, keep in mind: Do NOT mock his death. Do NOT harass his family, friends, etc. (don’t ever do this, but especially not this week or the day of.) Do NOT use his death to signify your online presence. Those of us who appreciate this hard-working, loving, giving soul deserve the freedom of expression granted to us, given that we remain within the bounds of positivity, consideration for others and for Heath Ledger himself. 

(image: Heath photographed for The West Australian on June 9th, 2001.)

I implore you to treat everyone with respect and to honor Heath in a way in which you would honor a loved one; be kind, courteous, respectful and tactful whenever you are discussing his passing and remain conscious of others and their feelings regarding this subject. It is a subject of sensitivity for many and I ask that you consider how others might feel when approached with the topic. Do NOT pass around photos of him that the paparazzi took on that fateful day. This is a blatant disregard for Heath and his privacy; He was unable to consent to having those photos taken, for obvious reasons, and I am certain that he would not have consented, given his distaste for the paparazzi and having felt as though his life was ‘on display’. 

Remember to treat him and others with respect. It is the bare minimum of common courtesy when dealing with such a raw topic; Heath would be honored by how most choose to remember him and I think that he would be humbled by the legacy he’s left behind.

On another, more important note, we must to remember a few things regarding the late Heath Ledger: 

He did not die because of his role as The Joker in ‘The Dark Knight’. 

He did NOT die of a suicide. 

Heath was struggling with insomnia, illness, his break-up with Michelle and (presumably) depression (though I don’t believe that was ever officially confirmed) at the time of his passing and we must remember how sensitive a subject this is, for his family, loved ones, friends and fans alike. 

For more factual information on his passing, I recommend visiting these links provided: 

Friends and Family Remember His Final Weeks 

Some important quotes from this article to take into consideration: 

“Gerry Grennell, Ledger’s friend and dialect coach who lived and worked with the star while he was shooting The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus in the final weeks of his life, spoke with PEOPLE in 2017 for a cover story on Ledger, nine years after the actor’s death. He recalled his friend being “exhausted, emotionally and physically” while battling a lingering pneumonia-type illness.”

“Grennell said the star’s mood was low. “He missed his girl, he missed his family, he missed his little girl — he desperately wanted to see her and hold her and play with her,” he added, referring to Ledger’s former girlfriend Michelle Williams and their then-2-year-old daughter, Matilda. “He was desperately unhappy, desperately sad.””

But in his final weeks, Grennell said Ledger knew he was spiraling. Still, he couldn’t stop himself from taking the pills. “He said, ‘I got to stop, it’s not helping, I’m not well, it’s making me feel more upset,’” Grennell continued. “It wasn’t helping with the relationship issues, it wasn’t helping with missing his kid, it wasn’t helping his sleeping — and he knew that.”

“Being such a social guy, having to be a bit of a hermit, or wear hats and glasses was super annoying,” he added, describing the lengths to which Ledger went to avoid the paparazzi. “His happiest I remember was times like when we were in Bondi on the beach catching waves, and nobody really looking his way, and when he moved to Brooklyn and could walk around with nobody bothering him.”

Heath Ledger’s Father Kim Speaks of Son’s Death - Trigger Warning: Kim Ledger mentions seeing EMS removing Heath’s body from his home in new York. This video and its message is EXTREMELY important; if you choose to view no other material listed here, please watch this short interview. 

Statements Made by Heath Ledger’s Sisters

Heath Ledger’s Sisters Clear Up Rumors About His Death In New Documentary

Some important quotes from this article to take into consideration: 

Though the doc doesn't elaborate on the "demons" that plagued Ledger's final days, it does change the narrative about his mental state at that time. According to the actor's family, Ledger's role in The Dark Knight didn't depress him, as so many tabloids had reported. It energized him."It was coming out that he was depressed and it was taking a toll, and we were going, 'What?'" Bell said. "It was the absolute opposite," Kate Ledger added. "He had an amazing sense of humor, and I guess only his close family and friends really knew that. But he was having fun. He wasn’t depressed about The Joker."

That's about as far as the film delves into Ledger's death. Instead, I Am Heath Ledger chooses to focus on his life. It may not be a complete picture of the actor, but after nearly a decade of rampant rumors and tabloid gossip, it's nice to see Heath through his own lens.

Speculation into Heath’s passing has been vast, leaving much to the media to exaggerate and perpetuate; there is very little evidence or proof that lends to the fact that Heath was an ‘addict’ as has been portrayed, however this statement can be found on his Wikipedia page: 

“Ledger was "widely reported to have struggled with substance abuse.” Following Ledger's death, Entertainment Tonight aired video footage from 2006 in which Ledger stated that he "'used to smoke five joints a day for 20 years” and news outlets reported that his drug abuse had prompted Williams to request that he move out of their apartment in Brooklyn. Ledger's publicist asserted that some reportage regarding Ledger and drugs had been inaccurate.”

When discussing his death, please keep in mind that a large portion about his personal life has been over-exaggerated and therefore, research is key.

Heath’s private life is not something we should pry into and we should be respectful of the fact that we simply do not have the information to conclusively determine certain theories. It is among human nature to ask questions and want answers, but it is our responsibility to know what is appropriate and how we should go about researching such a topic. 

Do not pry into Heath’s private life; be mindful of the information you choose to share and treat him as you would treat any other person. Just because he is a “celebrity” does NOT mean that every detail of his life should be public access. Treat him how you would want to be treated; you are not entitled to his private life, nor is anyone other than those he was closest to. 

We have countless interviews and testimonies to his character from family and friends, those of which prove to be the most accurate. 

Check out this video: Famous People Talking About Heath Ledger to hear some of these positive testaments to his character.

Drug abuse is a very serious matter; I do not condone Heath’s decision to abuse prescription drugs, nor should any fan; his death provides a testament to the dangers of prescription pills and we should remember to be mindful of their effect. Prescription drug abuse is a serious matter and we should not overlook the seriousness of it.

If you or someone you know is suffering from Opioid drug abuse, visit the link provided for the CDC’s help and resources

Please remain respectful while researching his passing and use discretion. Information perpetuated by the media has proved time and time again to be harmful to those in the limelight and Heath was a victim of that as well. Respect the fact that we do not know of his private life and accept that we do not have the right to know. There is a large amount of information present, providing speculation into this subject and I advise you to research with caution, as some of it is damaging to Heath’s character. 

Most importantly, use this time to remember Heath for the incredibly gifted and talented soul that he was. As fans, it is important not only to understand his passing, but to keep his legacy alive through the ways in which we choose to honor and remember him. 

Heath Ledger’s death was a tragedy. His family and friends still grieve his passing and his daughter, Matilda, is without a father due to his premature death. Please be respectful and courteous of this and honor Heath in a way in which he would be proud of. 

Thank you for taking the time to read this lengthy post. With much controversy surrounding Ledger’s death, I felt it necessary to speak out on a couple of things, especially with the anniversary of his death coming up. Please feel free to add onto this post any way you would like, especially if you find more information that is factual and important to share within the community.

 I will reiterate: BE RESPECTFUL. BE COURTEOUS. BE KIND. Do NOT harass his family and friends. Do NOT mock his death. Do NOT share offensive/upsetting images or media that is damaging to his character, now or ever. Respect others who choose to use this time simply to remember this wonderful man for all that he was and do not discuss his passing with anyone who might be triggered by the mentioning of it. 

This community is a loving, caring and amazing place where we choose to remember Heath in our own ways and keep his memory alive through the creations and art we all share. Build each other up and listen to one another; treat each other as if you are looking at Heath directly and show the world the same kindness he showed while he was among us. 

Thank you. 

[eury-dice3]

Real life Marauders

There are 4 boys who are in my grade who are best friends who remind me of the marauders. Each of their personalities match up almost perfectly, and since I haven’t seen them in a while I thought I’d write down some stories about them. Here’s a little introduction to each of the un official marauders:

James Potter: the one I’m probably closest to. He is so unbelievably dumb, but also kind of smart?? He’s so funny and he doesn’t even realize it, and sometimes he just goes on and on and you just can tell that the others just aren’t listening because “oh, it’s James.” He’s in my English and Math class

Sirius Black: extremely good looking, with long dark hair. Don’t know much about him, other than the fact that he’s best friends with James, Remus, and Peter. He has more common sense than James but still is immature. Flirts with me and [Marlene] in math.

Remus Lupin: The one I know the least, but have the most classes with. We have English, History, Science, and Math together, and seeing him with different members of the marauders is very funny. He’s rather quiet and super smart, but once he’s sitting with his friends his filter comes off. Overall very sweet.

Peter Pettigrew: In my LA class. Super sweet and really funny, and very close to the other boys. He’s pretty clever and fun to sit with, but mostly follows James’ lead. Very nice.

And now here are some stories that I have:

Math:

- The first encounter I had with James and Sirius was when they sat at a table with my good friend who I recognize as Marlene. I was talking to her, when all of a sudden James asked me “do you have a spare binder? I messed mine up” and showed me his completely destroyed binder. Conveniently I did so I gave it to him. The first thing he did was put his hand behind the plastic cover and poke holes through it with his pencil.

- Whenever we had group work time in math, Remus and I would pull up extra desks and sit with James, Sirius, and Marlene. We wouldn’t do any work.

- before a math test, James made up some stupid analogy about alligators to help him remember something??

- during the same test, the teacher walked out of the room, and the events were as followed: Marlene didn’t know what she was doing so Sirius took her test and was looking at it. James and I were trying to figure out wtf was going on and we were equally as lost, so I began to cheat off of him. When the teacher walked back in, Sirius threw Marlene’s paper back at her and it was so hard not to laugh. We didn’t get caught. When we got the tests back, I got a 97%, and James got a 63%. He almost got us caught when he said to me, “but you cheated off of me??!!”

- James was copying my math notes because he had missed a day. Sirius, who often messed with James paper (ex: ripping holes in his paper with his pencil, scribbling on it, etc), squirted chocolate milk all over my notes. When he realized it was mine, he wouldn’t stop apologizing.

- I let James and Sirius copy my stuff just so long as they let me explain it to them so they can do it on their own.

- James and I were arguing about what colors each subject was (English is RED!!! And math is BLUE). Sirius was genuinely confused that subjects had colors??? And the argument got really heated until Remus pointed out James was colorblind so obviously he was wrong >:(

- Sirius tries to coach James with his math work, but gets frustrated super fast with him, so I have to be the one to do it.

- Since no one else was doing their work other than Remus and I, I turned to him and asked whag he got for one of them to see if I did it right, and he ignored me. He later apologized because he thought I was just trying to copy him like James and Sirius always do.

- James did something loud and disruptive in the middle of a lesson, then blamed it on Remus. Remus mouthed “ill kill you” over and over to James. It took everything we had to stop Marlene and I from bursting out laughing.

- James likes to show me Bigfoot videos

- when our desks are put in rows for tests, when they all walk in, they all sprint to get any seat other than the front. James usually ends up sitting front row, which means that whoever’s behind him will tickle him.

- James got a text from a random number who was claiming to be some woman. We were joking and said it was sex trafficking, and Sirius said “who’d want James??” And Remus said “Id sex traffic James.”

- our teacher lets us sit together but we have to sit right in front of his desk :(

- whenever Marlene and I get in trouble for talking, we always get fake disappointed looks from Sirius and ESPECIALLY James.

English:

- I sat at a table for a while with James, Remus, and Peter. And what. A. Time.

- we were pretty rowdy all the time and never got our work done, but since I was the teachers favorite I never got in trouble.

- our teacher would get angry at our whole group and yell at us, then just apologize to me later, which drove James absolutely crazy.

- I catch James staring at me and giving me funny looks often in class, so when I ask what he wants he just waves his hands and looks away like he did nothing wrong.

- Peter is very sweet on the outside but that boy can talk some SH!T!!! Our English teacher is insane so whenever she isn’t looking he would make fun of her

- they spent an entire class period trying to touch their thumbs to their wrists (none of them could) and when I showed them I could, they all lost it. I didn’t think it was that strange??

- we have to write down what we’re greatful for at the beginning of every class, and I always ask James what to write. He gets this far off look in his eyes and always gives me something dumb like “tin foil” or “white crayons.” I always take his suggestion.

-one time James wrote down “substitute teachers” and shared it to the class one day, and got in trouble for it. He got a detention for “insulting a teacher.”

- Remus and I tell James and Peter all of the answers to questions because they never read the assigned books.

- I’m pretty sure James doesn’t know how to read??

- I’m kidding (maybe?)

-Remus and I get into arguments with our English teacher because she doesn’t know anything??? Any time she says anything factually incorrect (which is a lot) we both immediately give eachother a look and raise our hands.

- The three of them were blasting some music out of their earbuds during work time. Our teacher asked what was happening, and James said “Rap music. It helps with learning Shakespeare, did you know? It’s like Mozart and classical music, but there’s actually really cool studies about it you should look up.” Thats bs.

- we had a timed writing and Remus and I took turns getting eachother extra pages. James and Peter were horrified when we were on our 4th and 5th pages and they were still outlining.

- James snaps his fingers when he’s trying to remember something

- we had to perform Shakespeare scenes in groups, and I can not remember why they did this?? But Remus ended up spitting water all over Peter in front of the class.

- we were reading life of pi, and I overheard James say “You know at the end of naked and afraid how they give the survival ratings? Pi would be an 8.4 at LEAST” and the other two completely ignored him. I thought it was funny.

- Marlene was doing Valengrams, and she came outside of our classroom and tried to wave to me. I didn’t see, but James did, and overly enthusiastically waved back, which caused the teacher to yell at him.

- overheard peter say “You ever seen penguins of Madagascar? how did that make sense?” And James enthusiastically agreed.

- Remus gives them snacks

Extra:

- James pushes me in the hallway just because he’s taller than me >:(

- James also likes to show off. We were walking to the library when he started bragging about how he could touch the ceiling (since they’re super high up), so I told him to prove it. He could, but he ended up breaking one of the ceiling tiles. We ran.

- While Remus’ legs are the longest, Sirius and James get insecure about it and spread their legs as far as they can. Sitting across from them is a nightmare because their legs are always in ur personal space.

- where there are marauders, there’s a Snape. Marlene and I have a group chat with him in it and other people, but we also have one without him. One day, while we’re all standing there, Marlene texts the wrong group chat (with him in it) “[SEVERUS] JUST FARTED. IT WAS WET. I HEARD IT.”

- she felt bad for a moment, but when I told her she should probably apologize, she said “why? he did.”

- I have to ask Remus for help in science sometimes and he’s always eager to help.

- we had an online discussion in English, and Peter spoke once, Remus asked a few good questions, and James didn’t even show up.

- I miss them all dearly bc school is cancelled because of COVID :(

[neshabeingchildish]

League of Extraordinary Geniuses || Chapter 1

A/N: I never actually rated this, I don’t believe, but there’s a little bit of cussing here, I can’t tell you yet exactly which direction everything is going in. I’m predominantly an angst writer and I do have a lot to give to this story, mainly with Chase, just because, plain and simple... I don’t know if that man has really had people in his corner the way that he’s needed in the past, so there’s things to work through with him in particular and there’s always things to sort of try to get over and into in relationship dynamics and moreso when more people are involved than two. Also, at least two of these people are workaholics, so work projects, assignments, flashbacks, etc, will be something that is likely to appear a lot as a backdrop. The work won’t always be things that we, or even sometimes they agree with, but it’ll be there. Tagging only who I heard from last time @kiddangers @sunbeameyes @just-a-j-reallly @supercasperprincesslove-blog Let me know if I need to take you off. Edit: Thunderbolt headcanon from flashback was introduced to me by @famousflowermagazine (You don’t have to read, but I wanted to make sure that I credited your idea)

They’re the Same Picture

Charlotte woke up to the hyper sounds of the excited yipping of puppies and she immediately got out of bed and headed for the courtyard. The caretaker was out there, minding them, but when they saw Charlotte, they rushed back to her and she waved to let the caretaker know that the puppies were coming with her. They were light brown with black ears, and wearing matching little malleable outfits. She brought them to her lab and let the caretaker worry about accepting her guests, because she left her phone in the bedroom and she was not going to pick it up any time soon. 

She had one group chat titled Defenders for herself, Henry and Jasper, and it was the most used one in her phone. She had one titled Bionic Forces, for Chase and his siblings, and sometimes Donald. She had been added to that one at one point by Leo, whenever he had to casually ask her a question that she could somehow feel was tied to a catastrophe that he and his older brother, Adam were trying to evade at the Academy (and if she was being honest, one of them probably started), and she didn’t get involved again in that one until after she met Chase and he at’ed her to say that he realized that she had been in this old GC of theirs before. Now, she frequently visited and used it. 

She had one titled Elite Force, one titled T-Force, and one titled Danger Force and she hadn’t thought about how many Force teams had a GC with herself and the members, or even the fact that she knew several Force teams, until those three were active and she kept switching between the 3, one particular day. IF. EVER. There was another triple crisis, she vowed that two androids would have to get onto cloned phones and be her, because trying to sort out more than a dozen names and comments for a foreseeable incident was… a mess. 

Fortunately, Chase, Max, and Mika each took initiative in their respective chats after a while to be the point of contact and unclutter the chat at the time. But still… There were androids capable of evaluating very accurately exactly what Charlotte might think and say to responses.

She had several GCs that were business related, several that were science-for-fun related, one that was the Bionic Academy mentors, one that was everyone that she knew who had bionics, one that was everyone that she knew who was a superhero, one that was her team of androids, and one that was her lab workers. 

She was a busy woman who knew busy people, but she also was the type that liked to be helpful to friends and associates and to keep up with her loved ones and business relationships. So, most of the ones who she had GCs with… They also individually texted with her, as well.

Currently, her most frequent ones were from Henry or Jasper, who truth be told, would likely be texting her frequently for the rest of the three of their lives as lifelong best friends. Almost as frequently though were Chase Davenport and Max Thunderman.

It was a little shocking to her after she met Chase, to find out that they were extremely alike in a lot of ways, considering how differently the conversations she had with each of them went. Chase was always the perfect gentleman. If she mentioned a problem, he would factually assess it, give her stats, numbers, wish her well and ask her to touch base with him later to let him know if his assistance was fruitful. 

Max was less precise, but as correct in advice… he could probably give her stats, but knew that they weren’t usually needed and it wasn’t his default to calculate outside of an invention or something where exact numbers were necessary. Also, he was a little more profane. 

Whereas Chase might say something like, “I’m sorry that they’re making you jump through these hoops at a place of business. That is terrible customer service. Do they not realize who you are?”

Max would say, “Those guys are dicks. Just drop your name and get ‘em fired.” 

Which… was in essence the same response, to her, as their responses frequently were, and yet worlds apart. That was who they were, in her mind too. The same great person presented in two extremely different, but equally attractive ways. She valued them on the same level, though she was closer to Max, because she had known him longer and gone through more with him.

Whenever Max posted his video journal of gadgets and inventions, Charlotte noticed (and this was whenever she was in Dystopia, towards the beginning of the trio’s rise in popularity there), that he had both artwork of Dystress, her alter ego on his wall, and Charlotte Page accolades. News and fanfare!

She honestly lost her shit for a moment and squealed to Henry and Jasper, “This guy that creates gadgets and shares them online KNOWS ABOUT ME!” They had been in the habit of listening to her, but what were the odds of some dude from Hiddenville who posted science projects online for nerdy strangers like Charlotte to wind down, chewing on ice and making comments like, “I didn’t expect that to work out so well. This dude’s a genius!” just knowing about Charlotte, tucked away in one of the most silenced charities in Dystopia?

She pointed out and zoomed in on things on his wall - framed photos of her at gizmo fairs, plaques of her stats in Swellview, etc, and on THE SAME WALL, her with her purple hair and the mask that covered the bottom half of her face, many, MANY shots of her and stories about the mysterious new three Defenders who appeared in Dystopia and began vigilante justice. “That dude knows who you are, Char,” Henry said, worried.

Stressed out, she made a whole account and sent a private message, “So, I saw on your wall that you have the Dystopian Defenders. That’s cool. I like them.”

He almost immediately answered, because he was simply at home, and he was interested in fanboying any chance that he got. “Not so much interested in the Defenders as The Damsel.She’s currently my muse.”

She replied too quickly, “She prefers to be called Dystress.” The she winced and wished she could take it back. How would someone know that? Maybe another hardcore fan? There were a lot of clips of her online...

Well, that had done it. Because, now this complete stranger seemed to be trying to suggest to Max that THEY knew his favorite underground vigilante better than HE did, and before he decimated them, he was curious who he was about to destroy. “Is that something she told you?”

“I’ve heard it around Dystopia...”

He kept up the conversation long enough to trace her IP address and phishing her account. He almost fell out of his chair.“Are you Charlotte Page???”

“WHAT?” She screeched out loud, then typed, “Is that the other Black woman on your wall? You know… People are gonna think that you’re obsessive… or have a fetish... or something unbecoming.”

“I’m a fan. I didn’t mean to alarm you… So… WAIT… You’re Charlotte Page AND you are a Dystress fan AND you’ve seen my series??? This is perfect! This is like a DREAM for me! Or… is this like one of those things where you contact me and tell me that it’s creepy that I have your stuff on my wall? Because, honestly, that’s fair. It’s just… I looked up some of your work and you were super brilliant, but we’d met previously under not so great circumstances, so I didn’t want to be that guy and make it weird, but this is just how I’ve decorated my workspace. I just admire your work, a lot.”

Charlotte had watched --she didn’t know how many of this dude’s invention videos -- Every time she saw his face, a glimmer of a thought that he looked familiar passed through her mind, but his face wasn’t on screen most of the time. The focus would be on his hands and his inventions, so she didn’t notice his face too much. The way that the human brain works, she simply put it out of focus and subconsciously presumed she’d seen his face there, in the videos.

But, now that he said it, she gasped again. Realizing the familiarity, she dropped a phone number. She did NOT want to continue this conversation on the same device he had just hacked, and she had a burner phone on her.

“Hello?” She said. It took him only long enough to pick up his phone and dial while looking at the computer for him to call her.

“Is this real???” He asked. “Are you honestly Charlotte Page?” Before she could even answer, he continued, “I am absolutely freaking out!” 

It was a far cry different from the first time they crossed paths, the time that she had remembered only after he made it known that they had before. When he was a little villain-to-be. She hadn’t gotten a very good look at him, but her eyes had at least passed over his face a little, years before.“What do you want?” She asked, through her teeth. “To expose me?” 

“Expose?” He gasped and lowered his voice, but heightened his excitement, “Are you some kind of criminal mastermind, because I can totally dig that.”

“I’m…” She looked at the muted video where she had been studying his wall and she realized something. There weren’t photos of each, next to each other. There were no lines, or notes or string... He didn’t know that those were the same people. He didn’t know that she was the Damsel of Distress. He really was... just a fan of both of them. Maybe it was subconscious on his part, but she didn’t feel like he was playing mind games or anything. And… he had powers, so exposing her wouldn’t be wise for him or other supers. 

“Charlotte? Are you still there? I’m not gonna expose you, if you were waiting on an answer to that. But, I’ve gotta tell you… I’m a superhero now and if we gotta cross paths while you’re in your criminal phase… I mean… It’ll be AWESOME and like hella fun… but, I’d have to take you down. Duty and all that.”

Now, she laughed. “The Dystopian cops haven’t been able to, but give it your best shot.” There was a long pause and then a longer gasp, then the exhaling and declaration, “CharlottePageisalsotheDamselandIcan’tbelieveIdidn’tnoticeitbefore!”

“I prefer Dystress. With a “Y,” like Dystopia + Mistress… The Damsel of Distress was supposed to a clever one liner and nothing more. Some overgrown goon caught me about to tamper with supplies that we needed to steal from the criminals to give to the kids in our charity, and he said something like, “Looky here, a damsel in distress,” and…”

“And you, a 4’11 (I can’t believe that I didn’t even place your identical measurements to figure this out), you touched your wrist, hulked up somehow and beat him with his own weapon, then said, “More like a Damsel OF Distress,” and it was caught on security cameras. I HAVE that footage. I’ve gotten probably every piece of footage of you that has been recorded. I am not kidding when I say to you, that I am your biggest fan.”

“You’d think that with that wall you’ve collected,” she said, her wide smile evident in her voice. She knew that the kids in Dystopia stanned Dystress. They would tag her name and image all over the place and whenever in costume, girls and women always gave her stuff, sometimes, what appeared to be their last. She would refuse it and give them whatever she had on her to spare. 

Dogfight was in essence sleepwalking through battle, so even though he could reply to people (in Spanish), they usually didn’t understand it and generally didn’t talk much to him.  

Deflector was just that, on or off the battlefield. Henry had never mastered lying, that much was sure, but found that avoiding questions because he only spoke English, or if they spoke English, simply deflecting the conversation instead of making up something worked better for his mystery and his cover than lying ever did. 

Dystress was the one who spoke with the people. She spoke their language. She spoke to them as people. All of the Defenders were heroes to the Dystopian downtrodden, but Dystress was like a motherly hero. She could be both that ferocious bear whose cubs are threatened but she generally delivered the goods while Dogfight and Deflector fought off the criminals. Her covered face and purple ombre locks were what they saw right before they had meals that weren’t drugged to kidnap them or rotten. The image that they saw whenever they got clean socks, soap and towels...

“What are you thinking about?” Max wondered, his voice now soft, having regained control of himself after this wondrous discovery.

“I’m hoping that my secret really is safe with you and I’m appreciating being noticed by someone who I didn’t have to help save, first.”

He smiled, “Of course your secret is safe with me. I admire everything you do, apparently as you and her. I’d never let myself be a threat to you.” She was smiling on the other end and he knew it, but he also knew that this was a Dystopia line and probably a burner she got from a corner shop. He needed a doorway in. He didn’t want to let her slip through his fingers. “I can probably actually help you, you know? I have a lot of resources, with T-Force. Dystopia is a red level city. Every time the Hero League has assigned someone, they either die, quit, or turn, because the crime is like a hydra. It would only take a mention that the heroes there need supplies for me to get approval to bring some.” There was another long pause and he said, “I wish I could see your face right now.”

“You can see it… As soon as we get some supplies.”

“How do I contact you? I know this is a burner you’re on.”

“Yeah, but I don’t think this is a burner you’re on and I got your number when you called. Thanks in advance… what should I call you?”

“My name is Max.”

“Thank you, Max.”

“My pleasure, Charlotte.” They both smiled and hesitantly hung up their phones. But, Charlotte was looking forward to seeing “her biggest fan” in person… ESPECIALLY if he was using his power to come with supplies. 

After a few weeks, he made good on that. She sent him a list and asked, “Is this asking too much?” He was confused at first, because it was a different phone number, but whenever he saw the list, he knew who it was from and he smiled brightly. “Not at all. I can be there by Friday. Send me coordinates to wear to meet you.”

The Defenders were there. T-Force shook hands with them and commended them on volunteering to take on Dystopia. They unloaded everything onto a trolley and Thunder Man was explaining to Deflector and Dogfight that once everything was out of the transport, his youngest could teleport them to wherever they felt safe to bring it. 

Charlotte realized that they had brought twice the amount she requested when she placed the order, and Max added, “We also took donations up from the Hero League and transferred the total into yen, in case something comes up in between now and next time that you need us.” 

“You’d do this again?” She wondered.

“For you? Are you kidding?” He laughed, but was silenced when she practically leaped up so that she could throw her arms around his neck. Nobody was paying attention, because the rest were working. He was staring into her eyes, because that was all he could see, and it definitely was enough for him to recognize them from footage of her Spelling Bees and stuff, but, he wondered, “Could I see...” he didn’t get a chance to finish the question and she pulled down her mask, stuck her tongue out and smiled. “I’d do this however many times you need,” he finished.

Since then, they’d been gravy. Chase took much longer to warm up to her like that, and even when he had, his gushing in her presence, was generally due to some exciting news, findings, work, etc. He hadn’t gushed over her like that, and Max did not mind doing so, at all. Really, the fact that she was always comparing the two in her mind was how she came up with this idea to… well… to ask them to come on an adventure with her towards saving the world. 

She knew that she could tell Max to do anything and he would say yes and figure out how. Chase would WANT to say yes, but have some questions and need some reasonable answers. He would ultimately say yes, whether or not she was able to provide them, but he would be out of his comfort zone without a fully detailed, full transparency blueprint and trajectory. But, he would say yes no matter what she gave him because, if she knew one thing about both these people, it was that they both trusted, respected, and she hoped, loved her, and they listened to her for these reasons. SO, she would always try to reciprocate it. That was something that she knew that they didn’t always get. Max from knowing him and his family for several years and Chase from mostly Douglass and Leo’s stories. Chase only ever seemed to talk about his attributes and advantages. He never complained about the things that she’d heard about his life. Or maybe, he just didn’t trust her that much yet. 

She opened a GC with the three of them and asked them when they could all meet sometime in the near future. Max was getting ready for a furlough and Chase was finalizing another bionic mission team for field work. She was getting ready to take a hiatus on degree work for the first time in 8 years and get settled into her castle that it took 5 years to have built. For reference, it took longer to build her castle than it did to rebuild Dystopia itself, but of course, one of these things she was paying for and the other had been greenlit by a billionaire.

Eventually, the three found where they could make the meet happen and she could hardly wait to share her ideas with them and also just spend time with both of them, instead of having to always divide herself.

.

Max was visiting, spending his furlough in the castle and Chase was there “on business,” because Mr. Davenport literally never allotted vacations for him, so Charlotte told a half truth about requiring him at her place for a few days for a special project and since they scheduled it after the formation of the most recent bionic field team, Donald approved the request, but reminded him that he would still be on call, if needed.

“Firstly, I need to apologize to you both for the short notice, but whenever I realized that you finally both were free at the same time, I made sure that we could all get together! I’ve… introduced you two before, right?’

Chase raised an eyebrow and studied Max. She had never introduced them, but she talked about Max to him a lot, and pretty fondly from how he recalled. “I’ve never seen this man before in my life,” Chase said. It was partially true. He had not met him face to face or even crossed him in passing. They were once in Dystopia at the same time, but although she planned to introduce them, both had avoided allowing it to happen.

Max said, “That’s your boss’ little kid, right?” Max knew exactly who Chase was. He had read about him, seen his work, talked to Charlotte NUMEROUS times about his ideas, and even was impressed by him, sometimes, But he also knew that there was no way that this dude didn’t know who he was. Therefore, two could play that game. “The one that doesn’t really fight much,” he added for good measure. Chase narrowed his eyes. He fought all of the time, but people often reduced his efforts because he didn’t have feats like the members on his team. He had better feats…

“Chase Davenport!” Charlotte corrected Max and cut him off at the same time, seeing it might turn into a pissing contest if she didn’t rein it in, “Mission Leader of the world’s first bionic mission team, Mentor at the Davenport Bionic Academy, he creates most of the bionic teams that you see on the news during missions!” She proudly announced.

Chase blushed and shuffled his feet bashfully, then said, more confidently, to Max, “I do more than that, actually…”

“Cool,” Max said and made a little sound with his mouth, to which two puppies came trotting into the foyer to him. “Hey, Buddies!” He cheered and began to love talk to the brown puppies with black ears. 

Chase wondered, “Oh, you have pets?”

Max collected both puppies into his arms and stood, “Have you not been invited here, yet?” He asked, meaning for it to sting.

Charlotte interjected, “Chase is usually too tied up in missions for social visits, so this is his first time being able to stop by and his first time seeing them.”

“They’re her kids,” Max said.

Chase cleared his throat and wondered, “I’m sorry, what?”

“These are the Swagger twins,” Charlotte clarified.

Chase let out a sigh of relief, then immediately engaged with the puppies, while Max grimaced, still holding both. “They should be about two years old, shouldn’t they? Why are they puppies and not full grown dogs? Also, why are they dogs?” And both pups became toddlers in Max’s arms, causing Chase to flinch a moment, but he still petted both their heads. 

“They have shapeshifting bionics with identical coding,” Charlotte said. “Jack had very specific speculations for them. He wanted them to be male presenting, have certain traits from himself and certain ones from Cheyenne, and identical bionics that were allotted for them to transform into dogs. They are currently puppies because they’re too young to realize that a two year old dog would be full grown and probably too small to do it, if they knew it.”

“Why does Jack Swagger want his kids to be able to turn into dogs?” Chase asked, very confused.

Max grumbled, “Because celebrities are weird and gross!”

Charlotte laughed and said, “Jack’s fiancee is Max’s former celebrity crush. He’s been moody since the engagement,” she laughed. “I, on the other hand am DELIGHTED that celebrities are weird and gross. Jack has funded all of my private research on genomic architecture JUST so he can both have perfect babies with his future wife AND also have dogs.”

“Whatever happened to good old fashioned going to a third world country and buying a desperate mother’s kid from her because they’re both starving?” Max asked and scoffed.

Chase, ignoring the rhetorical question, asked, “Why do you have his two year olds at your castle?”

Charlotte shook her head and said, “Oh, these boys aren’t going to go to him. He’s not going to actually collect until I get the formula for the perfect sons who shift into the perfect dogs, with the perfect model bionic chips, and I’m going to take that to create the embryos for their surrogate.” She forced a smile and her eye was twitching, but it was extremely lucrative, if not incredibly privileged and highkey eugenics.

“Weird and gross,” Max repeated.

“Well,” Chase ignored Max again, “Where are they going to go?” He wondered, concerned about the Swagger twins. 

Charlotte laughed and said, “Budding Flowers,” like it was obvious.

“That orphanage?” He asked, a little bit horrified.

“It’s really more like a boarding school,” she told him. “And shelter for orphans. People aren’t exactly adopting them.”

“But… these boys are bionic. Aren’t the kids there all… normal?” Chase wondered.

She pointed to him and said, “You are absolutely right! We need a bionics specific orphanage/education center. I propose either in Dystopia or Centium City.”

“Why not on the island?”

“Are you kidding? You think she’s gonna hand her babies over to Davenport after how he raised you?” Max asked. 

“Max!” Charlotte hissed and held her hands out like wtf. Chase was definitely a little bothered. Charlotte tried to explain, “Excuse him for that. Sometimes Dougie complains about The Dom whenever we’re hanging but I don’t know WHY Max would bring any of that up!” She threw Max a look. Max looked unbothered.

Chase squinted, “He… knows my Uncle Douglas?”

“He’s your dad, Dude,” Max said.

“Douglas just TELLS people these things???” Chase said, highly upset, now.

“No. It’s mostly been said in what was supposed to be confidence. With the two of them both being on the board of the Max O. Thunderman Rehabilitation & Reformation Metropolis.”

“I like to call it the Maxtropolis,” Max said, smirking with his mouth and his eyebrows.

“And everyone hates when you do,” she teased. “They’ve got stuff in common.”

“You… wait… Your friend Max is ON the board at that place?”

“It’s literally named after me,” Max said.

“Yes, I realized that, but I thought it was because you were a donor or something. Douglas said that board is composed entirely of villains!” Chase said, now on alert.

“Reformed villains,” Charlotte corrected. “Like Douglas, and like Max.”

Chase ground his teeth and stared at Max. He didn’t fully always trust Douglas, at times. He certainly wasn’t ready to trust this very shifty character, so close to Charlotte AND with a villainous past? He REALLY needed to start paying more attention to others, even those that he was writing off. Now, he would have to research and review everyone that came into contact with Charlotte. How many other dangerous possible traitors did she trust in her midst? Charlotte and Max were staring at him and he realized that the puppies were too. Also, that the kids were puppies again. 

Charlotte offered, “Let’s go settle into the lounge and sit down.” She opened her hand to let Chase see were the lounge was and she caught Max’s hand and whispered as low as she could, “Why are you antagonizing him?”

“I’m not. I just don’t like him.”

“You haven’t even given him a chance!”

“I did whenever I came in and he started it. “I’ve never seen this man before in my life? You and I both know that waif has seen me before.” She covered her forehead with her fingers and lowered her face at the insult. “Furthermore, I don’t like his sanctimonious song and dance, just because he’s the poster boy for heroes, a position that he has only been granted because bionics in the past few years that they’ve been accepted have taken credit for every superhero’s victories and act like they’re doing us a favor by doing small percentages of the work and capitalizing on all of the victories!” He folded his arms and Chase turned around and looked at them. Max glared at him.

Charlotte noted still whispering, “He has super hearing. I think he’s heard us whispering.” 

“I did,” Chase said.

Max shrugged his shoulders, “Where was the lie? Bionics are just non-supes with technology. You’re only special because a madman put technology into you when you were too young to consent.” Charlotte covered her lips with her fingers this time and lowered her face again. 

“You obviously know enough about me to continue to personally attack me because of your perception of my position. If that makes you feel better, do it,” Chase said. What wasn’t about to happen was him losing his cool in front of Charlotte, or worst, inside of Charlotte’s home.

She shook her head, “I thought that the two of you would get along. There’s so much greatness inside of both of you, that I see, I guess I presumed that you would see that in each other. I had no idea that there was some kind of superhero vs bionics bad blood in you two.”

“Seriously? Because, I’ve heard that your friend here is pretty anti superheroes. Besides the members of his team, who he’s been openly negative towards (we talk, Bionic Boy), and the only super that you’ve really fully accepted was your sister, after she siphoned a little from Skylar Storm. You had supers right in front of your face, proof of our existence and you berated them and talked trash on them. At least that’s how Sky would tell it.”

“You… know Skylar too? Technically… she’s not a super. She’s an alien. All of her people are like that.”

“Wow. So not the point,” Charlotte said. “Are you actually anti-supers?”

“No! I may have said some of what he’s gossiping about, but I was younger at the time he’s speaking about, probably not much older than he was when he was aspiring to be a super villain.”

“So, NOW you know who I am?”

“I researched the information while the two of you were whisper arguing!” Chase said.

“You knew who the fuck I was when you walked into this castle, Boy! You, the smartest man in the world, who has been betrayed and bamboozled multiple times didn’t do a background search on someone who was going to be staying in the home of the woman you love and meeting up with you for possible business? I’m not the smartest man, but I’m not a dumbass, either. You absolutely looked into me, just like I’ve been looking into you from the first time she mentioned your name. Maybe you could get a fast one on the simpletons you’re usually surrounded by, but Char and I? We're in the genius leagues.” 

Chase was breathing hard and eyeballing Max, looking a bit menacing and sort of hovering over him. Chase scanned him over and Charlotte stepped between the two of them, into Chase’s line of sight. He seemed to calm down and she was grateful, because he’d looked pissed and she heard that could make things get really ugly. “I heard your response, Chase and it’s valid. You were younger and didn’t subscribe to the value of superheroes. Max was young and didn’t either! Yayyy! Similarities…” She looked at both of them. They both folded their arms and scoffed, then both groaned because they’d had the same reactions. Getting them on the same page might be a hard sell. But, she had a few days. “Let me show you your quarters, and maybe everyone can have a drink and kinda…” her shoulders slumped and she sighed, unsure of what words to use.

Henry and Jasper had been friends when she met them. Douglas and Schwoz hit it off right away. These two… SHOULD have too. But, they were both extremely pissed and she felt like she’d missed something that she should have considered before bringing them together like this. That argument proved that she missed several things. She was so in love with the idea of them being science bros, she didn’t think about Chase’s trust issues and how they might affect his view of Max. She didn’t think about Douglas telling Max things that she didn’t even know about, like Chase having a past with superhero hate, or maybe just a little bigotry, but, still… She was supposed to be smarter than that. She had been judging both of them with her heart for so long… it just seemed natural that anybody else, especially one another, would adore them too.

“Charlotte, are you okay?” They both asked her in unison. She looked up and both of them looked concerned and a little guilty. They were most likely going to at least squash it for tonight, for her benefit. 

“I’m sorry for not doing MY due diligence. I just think, if you two could get past it all, you’d understand why both of you are here with me as I embark on a new chapter. You two were my first choice and it was an equal choice. It wasn’t one over the other, it was… I know that you both bring what I want and need to the table. I want it to be a table of camaraderie.” The men looked at each other with a raised eyebrow and flared nostrils. 

“It’s fine,” they both lied. At least she knew that they’d try.

[lavender-rebellion]

The Reality of Existence  Chapter one

Masterpost

AO3 Link

Ships: Analogical and Royality

Description: "Thomas looked around his living room and felt a stone in his gut. He had four freshly human sides before him. Four human, terrified, grown adult men who had never lived a day in the real world. Four men who didn’t legally exist, permanently in reality. They were in his care now, and that dormant panic made itself known once more.“ A story about learning to live and learning to love. But also about being roommates, first jobs, being an adult, and that friendship really is the strongest force on earth. They all have things to teach and things to learn, but that’s part of being human. (They have to learn how to do that too, though)

TW for a panic attack and what can be seen as depression symptoms.

Thomas closed the door noisily behind him, letting out a heavy sigh and quickly making his way over in front of his TV, the familiar spot lending him some comfort and he could feel most of the anxious energy fall from his shoulders. He took a moment to take in the new perspective of his living room the spot gave him, before rolling his shoulder and finding the threads inside him. Thomas tugged at the one thrumming with more nervous energy than usual, watching Virgil appear on the stairs nearly immediately. Seems he was waiting for him, which was fair considering that Thomas had been thinking of this all day.

“It’s bad.” Virgil agreed quickly, wrapped up tight in his hoodie with darker bags than usual. Thomas still wasn’t sure if they were natural or makeup, and Virgil always dodged the question. Honestly, he didn’t know which one was more troubling, if Virgil apparently hadn’t gotten a good days sleep ever or if he thought it was a good fashion choice. Speaking of bad fashion choices…

“I knew it, they hated it!” He despaired, running a hand through his hair. Virgil nodded solemnly.

“There is an unusual amount of icky-sticky energy in here.” Patton rose up, hands on his hips. “If I didn’t know better I’d think your name was Vicky!”

Thomas let out a small chuckle at the Fairly Odd Parents joke because while it wasn’t Patton’s best it was clear that he was trying to cheer him up. Virgil sent a tense smile at the other side, who seemed to pick up on the mood and clapped his hands together.

“Alright then, what’s the problem, kiddo? I’ve got my listening ears on and I’m ready to ear you out!”

“It’s his new shirt!” Virgil chimed in, gesturing. Patton looked confused.

“My friends hated it!” Thomas clarified, “I looked awful all day, and they kept sneaking looks at it with this look on their face..”

“Thomas have we not already gone over your cognitive distortions? It was only a few months ago, surely you remember?” Logan rose up, flipping through a planner. He looked up to give Thomas a disapproving look, before returning Patton’s wave and sharing a smile with Virgil.

“Well yeah, but this is different.” Thomas insists, feeling a little silly but mostly like he needs to change his name and go into hiding.

“Look, Thomas, there is only one option and you know it. It’s time to move away to a remote village and become a hermit, never showing your face again.” Virgil cut in, chopping his hands down to emphasize his point. He nodded along, crossing his arms and wondering how long it would take to pack up his entire house and buy a new one. One without internet access, he couldn’t ever go online again.

“Uhhhh….” Patton looked up at Virgil dubiously. Logan shot him a similar look.

“That’s a bit of an overreaction, is it not? We can’t just go into hiding over a bad ‘look’.”

“Watch me.”

“What’s wrong with his shirt, again? I’m lost.” Patton asked.

“And why are you reacting so strongly to this, it’s hardly the worst thing you’ve worn out of the house,” Logan added, and Thomas clutched at his chest, offended. What could he possibly be talking about, and why was he so quick to remember it? Was it recent? Had Thomas just been walking out of his house looking like he got dressed in the dark for ages?

“Not helping, Lo!” Virgil ran his hands over his face, dark bags still perfect afterward which lent weight towards the natural theory..what were they arguing about again? “Anyway, that’s not the point, the point is that Thomas looked ridiculous all day and it’s all on camera!”

Oh right, that.

“OH! That’s right, you were filming that collab today weren’t you?” Patton jumped, clapping his hands together again. “How did that go?”

They all looked over at him, disbelieving, before turning back to the conversation.

“Everyone is going to see my stupid shirt and laugh, and screenshots are going to be all over Tumblr and there will be memes-”

“Are you really that worried about a bunch of 13-year-olds making fun of you?” Logan interrupted. Thomas ignored him.

“-and people are going to think I’m silly and then they’re going to realize that I’m a weird 30 year old who records himself talking to himself and posts it on Youtube-”

“Tumblr is not just a bunch of 13-year-olds, there’s plenty of young adults and adult adults. I mean, we’re on Tumblr, and so is Joan.” Virgil argued.

“Plus 13-year-olds are really mean,” Patton whined. Still ignoring them.

“-and they’re going to stop watching my videos which means I’m going to steadily lose money until I’m making none and then I’ll have to get a stuffy desk job-”

“That’s true. It’s like the John Mulaney skit, ‘13-year-olds are the meanest people in the world because they will make fun of you, but in an accurate way’.” Virgil quoted.

Patton gasped, “Oh I love John Mulaney! He is a very funny man.”

“That’s ridiculous, there’s no factual evidence that 13-year-olds are meaner or more observant than any of the ages near them.”

“Clearly you’ve never spoken to a 13-year-old.”

“-and I’ll spend the rest of my days living in a grey, unfulfilling haze where my coworkers make fun of me and send office emails around full of my earliest vines and those awful screenshots-” Ignoring them, just continue ranting.

“We are both sides, I’ve met every 13 year old you have.”

“And you’re still defending them?”

“Yeah, I’m on Virge’s side in this, Logan. 13-year-olds are just cruel.”

“I’m not defending them, I’m simply saying that there’s no logical reason-”

“There’s no logic in pre-teens-”

“Not even a teen- sy bit-”

“-and that will be my life, mockery and the cold confinement of office routine, no friends or boyfriends and I’ll die alone, without even a cat for company because I have this stupid allergy-”

CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP

They all went quiet, echoing the clap and looking over at Roman, who had appeared a second ago while they were bickering.

“How am I supposed to practice my one-man duets if you are all making a racket?” Thomas squinted at the gaudy necklace he was wearing, a giant ruby pendant resting in the center of his chest. While he watched, it flashed a dim red light. Must have been the light catching the gem.

But everyone else glanced at it as well, including Roman. He looked pleasantly surprised.

“I didn’t know it did that. Neat!”

“What on earth are you wearing?” Logan sighed, glaring at the necklace in suspicion.

"Oh, it’s a best friend necklace! The Dragon Witch gave it to me-”

“The Dragon Witch?” Virgil interrupted, looking at him like he was crazy. Roman glared at him, but it lacked any real heat. He placed a hand on his hip and popped it dramatically.

“Yes, the Dragon Witch. We totally patched things up and are now great friends! Honestly, it was super judgy of me to declare her as evil just because she happens to be a dragon and a witch. She can’t help that! And there are good witches and dragons! Like Sabrina, or the characters from Dragon Tails!” Roman argued, waving his hand around. Patton nodded along, looking proud.

“That is so true! That’s so cool of you, Roman! And may I just say it is be- ruby -ful!” He beamed.

“Ayyyyyyy-” Roman pointed at him, looking delighted. Thomas hid his laugh behind his hand.

“That feels ill-advised,” Logan argued, Virgil gesturing at him in agreement, looking baffled. Personally, Thomas didn’t see the problem with it. But they were once again off track, and Thomas’s problem still hadn’t been solved, so he shrugged and decided that there were no real arguments against Virgil’s idea and that must mean it was fine. He turned and moved to grab his suitcases out of the hall closet.

“Maybe you should evaluate why you hate dragons and/or witches because it’s not her problem that you have a bias.” Roman sassed.

“I have no problem with either of those things, I’m simply saying that prior behavior suggests- Thomas where are you going?” Logan cut off, confused. Thomas blinked and jerked his thumb over his shoulder.

“Gotta pack, so I can become a hermit.”

Logan sighed and adjusted his glasses. “You are not becoming a hermit.”

“I’m not?” “He’s not?”

Logan glared at Virgil and Patton. “No, you aren’t. Thomas, I know you remember our conversation about cognitive distortions so I’m not going to bother rehashing it, and instead let’s get to the root of this problem. Yes, you may have looked silly today, and your friends may or may not have noticed it. Your outfit will certainly be in the video, and others may or may not make fun of it. But we both know that is where it will end, and that it is a minor problem. So why are you making such a big deal about it?”

“Yeah, buddy, it’s not like you to make mountains out of mole-hills.”

It was Thomas’s turn to sigh, body slumping out of its tense position. “You’re right- (“I’m always right.”) - I’m overreacting. I’m just worried about Cartoon Therapy.” He admitted.

“That’s the new script you and Joan are working on, right?” Patton wondered.

“Yes! It’s going to be amazing, you are just going to love the therapist, Pat!” Roman gushed.

“But that’s the thing, what if it isn’t amazing? What if it sucks? I’ve never made such a long scripted episode, what if it gets boring or repetitive? What if people don’t like the new characters? I mean it isn’t like I made you guys up, and I don’t write our scripts from scratch-”

“Take a deep breath, Thomas.” Virgil soothed, looking a little frazzled but much more relaxed compared to earlier. Thomas hadn’t even noticed his anxiety ebb into a dull static. He did as he said, sharing a smile with him at the reference.

“Thanks.” He murmured quietly.

“Give yourself some credit, you’ve created characters people have loved before, in much shorter bits. Take your personification of Sleep, for example. He is well-liked and barely fleshed out. I’m sure characters you can take your time establishing will be just as well received.”

“And if you can’t give yourself credit, give some to Joan. We all know they are a creative genius.” Patton added, speaking softly. “The script will be fine, and the characters will be great. All you can do is give your best try when writing, and watch it come to life.”

“For now, distract yourself and allow yourself to calm down. Put on Parks and Recs! It’ll work out.” Roman suggested. Thomas nodded, feeling much calmer than when he came in. He took another deep breath and grinned at his sides.

“Thanks, guys.”

“It was no problem, I a- shirt you.” Patton shot him finger guns and winked, and then-

Just stood there. Thomas’s brow creased in confusion, watching panic slowly bleed into his expression.

“Pat?”

“I-uh,” The others were looking at him in concern now, “I can’t sink out.”

“What?”

“I can’t sink out.” He stressed, and Logan fidgeted with his glasses.

“How is that possible, Patton-”

“I don’t know!” Patton snapped, looking very upset. “I just know I can’t!”

“I can’t either.” Virgil blurted out, his voice layering.

“This is probably nothing. Lets just all take our own deep breaths, close our eyes and focus on the living room.” Logan said, terse. Thomas watched them all do so, fear rising inside of him at an alarming rate. None of them sunk.

“What’s happening?” He asked. They all looked a little crazed, wide eyes darting around.

“I don’t know, this shouldn’t be possible! What could have-” Logan’s head darted up from where it was buried in his hands. “Your necklace!”

Roman jumped, alarmed at the outburst. A lightbulb went on over Thomas’s head.

“It flashed earlier! When you arrived!”

Roman looked even more alarmed, hands going to the chain and frantically yanking it up over his head, tossing it to the ground. There was a split second of relief on all of their faces before the ruby once again lit up, this time with a blinding red light that filled the entire room, too bright to see through. Thomas could hear the sounds of bodies thumping to the floor and he blinked rapidly, trying to clear the spots from his eyes.

Four men were crumpled on the floor (and stairs), but they weren’t the men who were there just a minute ago. They were all dressed like his sides, but it wasn’t his face looking back at him. He could feel his breath hitching in his chest, his lungs empty and his chest burning. He sunk to the floor and curled up, sticking his head between his legs. He could fuzzily recognize this as a panic attack, though he had never had one this severe, and clumsily went through tactics he remembered reading when researching Anxiety. It took him a while, but eventually, he was back to being aware. The men were still on his ground.

In Patton’s place was a man with curly blond hair and a scattering of freckles across his rounder cheeks. He was a bit softer all around, and round glasses lay on the ground next to him. Roman had been replaced with a tanner version of him, a face that was similar to Thomas’s, but his hair was a dark ginger and thicker, his swoop larger than usual. He seemed broader than usual as well, but he was crumpled oddly and Thomas couldn’t be sure. Instead of Virgil, there was a slight man with wild purple hair, lightly curling around his face. It looked like there was a suggestion of freckles on his pale skin as well, but he was too far away and the maybe-freckles were light if they were there at all. His makeup -or not?- was gone, replaced with very real eye bags that were much less severe but still noticeable. And not-Logan was, well, tall. Not giant, but he appeared taller than before, with black hair neatly styled out of his face, which also looked much like Thomas’s own. Actually, they appeared like they could be siblings, and not-Logan looked the most like who he should be. Does that make sense? Thomas didn’t really care, he was still panicking.

Not-Patton looked the least like Thomas, with not-Virgil hovering somewhere between him and not-Roman. There was a strong suggestion of Virgil’s features but they were more…delicate somehow. Like a distant relative of Talyn’s and a less distant relative of his. Patton didn’t look much like him, while Roman could be a cousin and  Logan could be his brother. Because that’s who they were, he knew it and he had to stop lying about it. Those were his sides, only they weren’t very side-like at all.

A low groan came from Logan, the body shifting on the floor and pushing up into a sitting position. Thomas froze, looking at the strange frame which suddenly felt like it was sitting much too close to Thomas’s own. He scooted back, tense. Logan blinked the spots from his eyes as well, before freezing. He was looking straight at Patton. Thomas was sure he was just as startled as he was, but then Logan relaxed and leaned back against the wall.

“Oh good, we’re back.” He hummed quietly to himself.

“Uh, what the fuck ?” Thomas blurted, feeling somehow more confused and nervous. Logan nearly jumped into the air, head whipping around to face him, dark blue eyes blinking once more at him. His brow drew down in confusion.

“Thomas? But how did you- maybe the light….no, because we never appear like this with you around…” He muttered. They were both interrupted by movement on the staircase, Virgil righting himself on the steps, holding his head. His face was scrunched tight in discomfort, and Logan’s attention snapped to him.

“Are you alright?” Logan asked Virgil, lowly. Virgil nodded, eyes clearing the last of the light and locking with the other sides.

“Fine, Lo. We’re back then?” He noticed the tight line of Logan’s mouth and suddenly Thomas was staring into green.  Virgil’s eyes aren’t brown anymore, either, a grey-green color replacing the familiar warmth. They narrowed.

“That’s not right…”

“What is going on?!” Thomas asked forcefully. He doesn’t get an answer, Patton stirring by the curtains interrupting them. He fumbled for his glasses, clumsily shoving them back on his face and opening his eyes.

“Well, that sure was a pain in the neck , very ruby of that Dragon Witch if you ask me.” Patton joked, though it lacked humor. Just like the other’s his body went slack when he noticed the others, but straightened as he immediately took note of Thomas. He absentmindedly noticed that Patton’s eyes were a sky blue. “Why are you in our living room?”

“I-what-” Thomas spluttered. Patton’s attention shifted just as fast as it came, and he let out a little gasp when he noticed Roman’s unconscious form.

“I don’t think he’ll be waking up for a couple of minutes, at least. It appears we woke up based on how close we were to the initial blast.” Logan offered, his eyes darting back to Virgil every so often, who was also watching Roman with concern.

“What happened?” Patton asked, distressed, and Thomas could have laughed.

“That’s what I’ve been fucking asking!” He burst out, earning a startled expression from Patton.

“Language.”

“That is the least of our problems, Patton! You all knocked out and you aren’t you and you’re still in my living room and no one is telling me what’s going on so take your language and shove it. ” He snapped, and his sides reeled back in shock. He felt a little hysterical, he might laugh anyway. It was either that or scream, because one of them was climbing up his throat.

“We don’t know what is going on, any more than you do,” Logan said.

“But, you- you look!”

“This is how we appear in the Mind Space. When you manifested us for the first time you did so with an image in your mind, so that’s how we appeared.” Virgil explained carefully, looking wary after Thomas’s outburst. “In fact, we look like the short’s characters you imagined us as, so while some features you seemed aware we had, like glasses, the rest of it wasn’t originally us.”

What? “So I decided your faces and clothes and personalities, and forced it on you?”

“Not quite. Admittedly, we dressed very similarly before manifestation, and our personalities have been ours since we started existing. You’ve always been aware of those things, just like you’ve always known our functions and of our existence.” Logan corrected.

Patton piped up, though he wasn’t meeting Thomas’s eyes. “It’s just part of being a manifester, kiddo. Well, we assume so, there isn’t exactly a guidebook on it.”

He suddenly felt bad about his outburst, the metaphorical wind leaving his metaphorical sails. “I’m sorry, Patton, I shouldn’t have yelled at you. At any of you.”

“It’s fine! We’re all freaking out, I can understand your reaction.” He was warmer this time, and Thomas sighed.

Roman let out a dramatic groan and made to sit up against the TV stand, body swaying unsteadily as he adjusted to being conscious. These eyes were familiar and comforting, even squinting suspiciously at him. “You aren’t supposed to be here.”

Patton tapped the ground to get his attention and quietly started filling him in on what little had happened, while Logan started looking around the living room.

“Earlier, you said we were still in your living room,” Virgil commented, watching Logan. He nodded, and Logan mirrored it.

“He’s right, this isn’t our living room. The pictures are wrong, and things are displaced. Like, look, your blankets are not on the couch, and my book and our tea are missing from the table.” He pointed out, and the other three glanced around.

“We didn’t sink out.” Patton devastated.

“And we’re in our real forms, which shouldn’t just happen out of the Mind Space,” Virgil added, grave.

“Something is very wrong.” Roman finished.

“Nothing would be wrong if you hadn’t worn a necklace from the Dragon Witch.” Logan pointed out, edgy. Roman looked a mix between guilty, stricken, and offended, and it twisted his face into something that could have been funny outside of the circumstances. Thomas still wanted to laugh, but that might be the shock setting in. Was this shock? He thought for a second and decided it didn’t really matter. But maybe he should get a blanket?

As the sides began some tense arguing, he spotted his phone lying where he dropped it in his panic attack and realized what would help even more than a blanket. He grabbed it and opened up the call feature. (When was the last time he did that, honestly?)

“It was a gift given of good will, I had to wear it! How could I have known she would do this?”

“Maybe because she was the Dragon Witch ?!”

“Listen, just because she’s the only female in the Mind Space doesn’t mean she has to be the villain!”

“No, she’s the villain because she’s evil! ” Virgil argued.

“He has a point though. Why is the only woman in our realm a villain?” Patton offered, hesitant.

“Roman created her. And he accepted the necklace that got us into this mess!”

“Are you saying this is my fault, Virgil?”

“I’m not not saying that.”

“Virgil!”

“What, Patton? I’m not wrong.”

“But you shouldn’t say it..”

“Patton!”

Thomas hung up and clapped to get their attention. They went quiet once more. “Joan is on their way. Maybe they’ll have some ideas on what’s going on.” And they can tell me I’m not going crazy, he thought, but maybe that was preferable to this situation.

For the first time in his memory, they all lapsed into uncomfortable silence, Virgil tossing his hood over his head and withdrawing into himself while Patton wrung his hands, Roman sulked, and Logan fumed. He had never seen them like this, never known them to be this upset, especially with each other. Things have gotten tense, people have gotten upset or argued, but this disconnect? It was new and somewhat frightening. Minutes passed like snails, slow and dragging, leaving a film behind. Maybe that was the shock.

Finally, a knock on the door drew them out of their heads, and Thomas got up to let them in. They were in their pajamas, and it was only then he thought to check the time. Midnight.

“I’m sorry for dragging you out this late.” He said automatically, but Joan waved him off.

“It’s clearly important, and what are best friends for if not traveling across town at midnight when something important happens?” Joan joked, but Thomas could only give him a weak smile. “You said something happened with the sides?”

He gestured them in, running a hand through his hair. “It’s not good. I was just chatting with them after I got home, everything was normal, and then they couldn’t sink out.”

“They couldn’t leave?”

He shook his head, hovering by the door and speaking quietly. No point in causing the arguing to start back up before it was necessary. “Roman came in wearing this necklace the Dragon Witch gave him-”

“The Dragon Witch?”

“Apparently they made up recently. Today, I think, the others didn’t seem to know about it. Anyway, they figured that was what was preventing them from leaving so Roman took it off. But it let out this bright light, completely blinded us. I heard them all fall and when I could see again they were unconscious and in their real forms.” At their look he tried to explain, feeling jittery and uncomfortable. That was the panic. Shock? “They look different in the Mind Space, they said. They’ve never looked like this outside of it, apparently, they actively control the change. They still can’t sink out, and they keep arguing..”

Joan placed a hand on his arm, seeing him start to panic (had he ever stopped, though?) and Thomas lent into the steadying touch. He smiled at them, thankful. Finally, they moved into the living room, where the sides were waiting. If their new appearances startled them, they didn’t react.

“So you guys are stuck.”

“Understatement of the year,” Virgil grumbled, and Thomas gave him a disapproving look.

“Don’t be mean to Joan. They are just trying to help.”

“Sorry.” He looked guilty, but Joan waved him off.

“Everyone is upset and tense, I understand. But arguing isn’t going to help anything so can we leave that for when this really bad thing isn’t happening?”

They all nodded, and Joan clapped their hands. “Alright. So, once again, you’re stuck. You’ve all attempted to sink out after you woke I’m assuming?”

“Yeah. Before I felt a barrier, almost. I didn’t notice it at first but looking back it was definitely there. But now…now I don’t feel anything at all.” Patton answered, looking down at where his hands were fidgeting in his lap.

“It’s like the Mind Space is just gone.” Virgil agreed. Logan messed with his glasses again, looking agitated.

“But that’s not possible, unless Thomas had something severe happen to his brain or…he wasn’t breathing anymore. Clearly, neither of those things have happened.”

“Yeah I haven’t bonked my head recently, and I’m still kicking. I think?”

“You are,” Joan assured him, seeing the distress in his eyes. “So that means you’ve all lost your connection with the Mind Space, most likely. Can you still conjure things, or access any of your Mind powers?”

They all waved their hands around to no avail, looking crazy. Frustration was clear to read in all of their expressions. Joan grimaced.

“And my shadows are gone,” Virgil said, rubbing his thumb under his eye. “I’ve always had them, I don’t..”

“So, no powers, no shadows, no connection to the Mind.” Joan ticked off. “Forced appearances, as well. Thomas,”

He looked up. “Yeah?”

“You once mentioned you could feel the connections to them, like strings tying you together. Are those still there?”

Oh. He reached deep into his chest, where the strings he had used to call Virgil had always lied. There was just empty. He couldn’t recall ever feeling this empty. The tightness in his throat returned, and his face fell. A sob burst from his lips. “No. No, they aren’t there anymore. I can’t feel them, I can’t feel you guys.” Tears welled up in his eyes but he didn’t care, struck by the realization. “It’s all empty. I thought that was shock, but..”

Joan looked upset, and he distantly felt bad about bringing them into this, but now he was crying and he couldn’t stop. He was reeled into an embrace, and he went willingly.

“It might be shock, from having the connection broken,” Joan admitted, before looking over his head. “Do you guys still feel..”

It was clear from how they trailed off that the answer was no. They couldn’t feel Thomas anymore, and that wrung another shaking sob from him. It took him a few minutes to gather composure, but eventually, he straightened from the awkward hunched position he had had to make, making a small wince at the wet spot on Joan’s chest. A glance at the other sides showed that he wasn’t the only one crying though. He wiped his eyes.

“So, you have no connection to the Mind, or Thomas. But you’re still corporeal, I can see and hear you. Maybe….you’ve become real people. Somehow.”

Oh. He had been so wrapped up in what had happened, he never stopped to think about what it meant. The others looked just as gobsmacked.

“That’s impossible, though,” Logan whispered, but it was obvious to himself.

“Let’s test it. Have any of you moved from your spots?”

“I’m just so used to not being able it didn’t even occur to me,” Virgil admitted, getting to his feet. He swayed a bit, but didn’t fall. The rest rose as well. Patton took an unsteady step forward, likely stiff from hours sitting, and when he didn’t hit a barrier he took another. Virgil climbed down the stairs to meet him in the middle, and Roman stepped forward too. Patton’s eyes brightened slightly, and he reached for Roman.

“I wonder…” He grabbed Roman’s arm and pulled him into a hug. Roman gasped, eyes going wide, and when Patton pulled back he gave Roman a wobbly smile, face brighter.

“You felt it, right?” He asked, before gesturing Virgil to come closer and pulling him into a hug as well. Virgil let out the same surprised gasp and gripped Patton tight.

“Everything feels like it’s dialed up to, like, 15. Lo, come feel this!” He held out a hand to Logan, who placed his own on top and wove their fingers together. His eyes widened. Patton released Virgil and moved hesitantly in front of Joan.

“May I?” They nodded and suddenly Joan had an armful of Patton, who was beaming like it was Christmas.

“I can touch you,” Joan exclaimed, looking shocked. While they had always been able to see the sides, they had never been able to touch them before. Their hand had always gone right through them, like ghosts.

Thomas looked around his living room and felt a stone in his gut. He had four freshly human sides before him. Four human, terrified, grown adult men who had never lived a day in the real world.

“Is this permanent, do you think?” He asked.

“I think, Logan said haltingly, unsure, “ That we have to assume it is. Go into this with a ‘worst-case scenario’ mindset.”

Four men who didn’t legally exist, permanently in reality. They were in his care now, and that dormant panic made itself known once more. He couldn’t take care of them. He didn’t have the space, let alone the funds. And again, they didn’t legally exist. And how was he going to explain this? Only Joan and Talyn knew he was a manifester!

He caught Virgil’s eye and could tell he was thinking the same thing, saw him work himself into a similar panic.

“How can we live? We don’t exist in the eyes of the government, we have no papers! And without papers, we can’t get jobs! Where will we live? What will we do?” Virgil echoed his earlier thoughts, and Patton’s face fell. Roman was still quiet, arms wrapped around himself and staring at the ground. Logan looked deep in thought, lips moving silently. The tension in the room was back, and suddenly Thomas felt exhausted down to his bones. He just wanted to sleep, and let everything disappear. Just for a little while.

Joan seemed to pick up on this, and as frazzled as they now looked, standing in the center of Thomas’s living room in their pajamas at nearly 1 am, they once again smiled. “It’s late. Let’s order a pizza, I’m sure we’re all hungry, and then call it a night. We aren’t going to get anywhere tonight. Figure it out tomorrow.”

They all sagged, and while Joan quietly ordered they all moved to sit. The sides collapsed, leaning against each other, on one part of the coach while Joan and Thomas sat on the smaller side. He absently thought how lucky he was his couch was too big, but mostly he thought about how comfortable it was, and once again how much he wanted to sleep. There was quiet while they waited for food, but it was born out of exhaustion instead of anger.

Once they started to eat, however, some energy managed to fill them again, and quiet chatter started up. Roman mentioned quietly to Patton how cool it was to have a full sense of taste, while Joan struck up a conversation with Virgil and Logan on living in the Mind Space. He listened to them talk about the bookcase filled with books Thomas has read, about their rooms and the emotions connected, but only when Thomas was with them or they were feeling heightened. Roman chimed in with talk about his Realm filled with creativity and stories, while Patton mentioned the dog they had conjured and kept for a couple of weeks.

By the time the food was gone Thomas was nodding off, but he managed to get up and gather four sets of pajamas, mismatched and some grabbed simply because he didn’t know what would fit them. Like Virgil, who seemed too small for his pants and instead got a pair of boxers he bought a size too small, and Patton who he had to dig out one of his slightly larger shirts for. He wandered back to the living room on autopilot and took them all up to the spare bedroom.

They took the clothes from him and Patton grabbed a bunch of spare blankets, setting up two beds on the floor. They looked as out of it as him, and the chorus of “Goodnight, Thomas”’s were more mumbles than speech. He closed the door behind him and went back down to Joan, who was dozing on the couch.

“Thank you for coming over.” He said softly, “And thank you even more for being so helpful. I couldn’t have made it through tonight without you, and I’ll never be able to express how much it meant to me.”

“Everything is going to be alright, Thomas.” Joan insisted, and he smiled.

“Yeah, it probably will. But would you do me a favor and spend the night, so I know it’s not all some crazy dream tomorrow when I wake up?”

They took the hand he offered and pulled themselves up, giving him a teasing grin.

“What, you thought I was going to leave? It’s nearly 2 am, you owe me a place to sleep, dude.”

They headed sluggishly to bed, and everything else was tomorrow’s Thomas’s problem.

(tagging @strickenwithclairvoyance because they told me to, and they inspired me. Hope you like it! Let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future chapters! (Also bold of you to assume there won’t be Deceit because he wasn’t ejected.))

[denouxments]

dylan minnette. cismale. he/him. — did you see { alex mercier }, i haven’t seen the { twenty-one } year old in a while! you know, they’re a { musician }, and have been living in jersey city for { twenty-one years }. some say they're { cynical & indecisive }, but i think they're { generous & talented }. regardless, i’m glad { alex } is here.

backstory

aaaaaand in the door to the right we have trash son #2, alex !! ( woo ! ahh ! ) you can find his dossier page HERE, his biography does not exist yet ( i’m gonna kick my own ass ), and there is a pinterest board for him HERE.

ok so boy is a middle child through and through LOL. his dad is a writer who also works as an english professor at new york university, meanwhile his mom works in human services helping people who have fallen off their track in life and stuff.

alex is essentially a male carbon copy of his mom in appearance but his personality is 100% his dad’s lmao

his siblings are a wanted connection !

also his household includes a deaf cat named shrimp that alex literally fished out of a gutter when he was 14. she’s his baby despite the fact that he’s mildly allergic to both cats AND shrimp ( i r o n i c ). here’s the instagram of the cat i’m saying she looks like

real mundane middle class life. there have been highs and lows like any other family, but there’s no tragedy here folks ! that comes later and has nothing to do with his family !

his dad was really into rock music and playing the drums when he was younger cuz wow the 80s and really wanted at least one of his kids to have good taste in music, so he kept the drum set and all the old records despite the fact that they were just collecting dust in the garage . . . until alex came along !

first was the drums, then it was the guitar, then it was being dual-enrolled in both the band and choir classes, and then, finally, it was starting his own band with 2 friends at only 11 years old

his dad got real lucky cuz alex clearly loved music, and he considers the 80s to be legendary. 

i'm gonna revisit his music in a moment cuz we gotta start getting into the tragedy that i mentioned ! so alex was like a really chill dude when high school started. he was a bit of a pretentious hipster bitch, but he was chill. he didn’t really say no to things ? like if something or someone just fell into his lap, he’d roll with it and didn’t really think too much about the consequences ? he was a big stoner and lost his virginity and probably way too young of an age because of it. he just didn’t really Care too much lol

he was essentially that quiet stoner that played his guitar in the courtyard and didn’t pay much attention to anything going on around him 

. . . unless he overheard you talking about something that was stupid or he didn’t agree with. then he’d butt in to be like “l o l that’s wrong !”

then he met molly ! if you’ve read chloe’s intro for bobbi you know molly ! we love molly ! molly was cute in that girl-next-door way and she was funny with good taste. it was hard for alex not to fall in love with her, really. they were friends first before they started dating, and it was through her that he met all of his current ride-or-die friends. he had never been good at making them, so she was a blessing for his social life. she was amazing. he loved her, his parents loved her, they were good. she was good and then she was gone. just like that. a car accident in which she wasn’t even the driver.

to say the loss devastated him would be an understatement. he shut down completely. he stopped hanging out with friends, stopped playing guitar in the courtyard; his presence in class was like that of a ghost. nobody ever knew what to say to alex before, and it was twice as true now. he just sort of Existed for the remainder of junior year, throwing himself into his studies instead of ever really taking the Time to Deal with it all.

it really hit him like a truck when summer hit and it was at this point that his parents forced him to start seeing a therapist.

his therapist recommended he use his band and music as an outlet, since that seemed to be his healthiest coping mechanism. ( see, i told you we’d get back to that ! ) taking this advice, he threw himself headfirst into it. like, he got really into his band. it’d been a bit of a hobby between friends before, and sometimes they worked small gigs, but now alex was also trying to produce them on a bigger scale. this helped him through his grief tremendously, especially because if felt like he was doing molly proud.

alex was 18 and had graduated when all this hard work paid off. after releasing a self-made ep entitled after molly, the band started gaining some serious traction. we’re talking getting featured on spotify’s indie hits lists and their fanbase skyrocketing in size from the couple hundred monthly listeners it had been. suddenly they were getting booked sold out indie gigs left and right all across the manhatten area. it was nuts and it is still nuts. they even have a well demanded

they’ve put out a 2nd ep since the initial takeoff and are now working on a full blown album ! exciting !

so, yeah, that’s definitely an exciting exchange for being utterly heartbroken i suppose. its been years since molly passed now, so he’s okay now for the most part. he still gets sad sometimes, and he still has all the pictures they took together and all the cheesy playlists they made for each other saved. she’s always gonna be the first girl he was ever in love with,, and i don’t think he’s yet to have a serious relationship since her, but don’t worry about him just being a clay jensen 2.0. my boy is faaaar from that and he’s had his grace period, y’know ? he good.

personality

fuuuucking hiiiiipster buuuuullshiiiit ! coffee and vinyl aesthetic all day bby. will call out your shit taste in music

loves to debate and argue semantics. will always play devils advocate even if he agrees with you 100%. also will go on for hours about the political climate and existence if you accidentally get him there

a bit antisocial. he doesn’t really know how to, like, approach people ? and then when people approach him he has a tendency to rub people the wrong way with his lackluster people skills

tries to go to parties and bars and stuff sometimes because that’s Normal, right ?

a ride or die pal when you do manage to befriend him though ! would drop e v e r y t h i n g for his friends and loves to spoil them relentlessly. the type to randomly show up at your house in his 3,000 year old mustang and take you to lunch or just go driving. 

big ole hufflepuff

he’s not really that super free spirit that he was before molly passed. now he actually cares a more about his actions to the point of being lowkey paranoid, honestly. like he’s always wanted tattoos but he constantly second guesses what he wants to get cuz he doesn’t wanna be the guy that got a shitty tattoo, y’know ? so he hasn’t done it at all

cynical boyyyyy. he’s one of those guys that’s like “i’m a realist, not a pessimist”. definitely doesn’t have a whole lot of faith in others outside of his friends and family. will always assume the worst out of people and question their motives

thinks of himself as really boring. not in a self deprecating way, but a factual way

hobbies include music, video games ( he does streams of him being shit at pubg on twitch sometimes ! ), watching movies ( horror specifically is a favorite ), sitting on his roof at 3am to look at the sky, going on walks when there’s nothing else to do, and aggressively frowning when his car breaks down in the middle of nowhere

seriously he really enjoys horror. halloween is his favorite holiday even though he isn’t really big on candy or dressing up. he just thinks the spooky aesthetic is real fun and its cool to see what everyone else is doing

he’s a skeptic on all things supernatural so all you boogaras better snatch him up !!

i drew this expression doodle page that honestmeme sums up his personality pretty well ( it is messy so plz be kind . . . )

connections

his bandmates is a given. i just need 2 others , , , any gender any fc. i have a wc for it.

either of his 2 siblings . . . another wc

any music friends tbh

rival musicians ? yes

people he just doesn’t get along with in general. he’s a pretentious snot so its pretty easy

unlikely friends ( probably someone super idealistic and bubbly )

childhood friends

he hasn’t had a serious relationship since molly so maybe someone he’s kinda into and that’s kinda into him but they taking it REAL slow

on the off hand some exes from him trying to see if he was ready to date again and just wasn’t

someone he debates with a lot. friends or not, they’re just really fun to banter back and forth with

horror night movie buddies !!

gets blazed w/ him on the roof in the middle of the night rambling about if ants have a conscious

he’s got his own place but a roommate or 2 would be nice !

anything anything anything. he’s constantly finding himself in bizarre situations that he just rolls with so long as it doesn’t leave a bad butterfly effect. hmuuuuuu and we can brainstorm

[diamonddeposits]

BEST TRACKS OF 2017-ARTISTS LIST #11

JARED SALTIEL

Multi-instrumentalist and singer-songwriter Jared Saltiel offers up striking tunes that are reminiscent of deliciously detailed short fiction. In February of 2018 he will be using his latest LP titled Out Of Clay, a concept album that serves as a travel guide to an imaginary landscape with colourful characters that is a follow up to 2014′s The Light Within. His list is  mix of both contemporary folk and billboard pop. Enjoy!

01. Bedouine - Solitary Daughter

This is probably my favorite record of the year. I'm a huge fan of Spacebomb Records, based in Richmond. I think what Spacebomb has figured out is that "timelessness" is not just about a retro aesthetic, it's about the quality of the songwriting, arranging and production. I'm not sure if this is my favorite song on the album, but it's the one that woke me from the cozy slumber of the album's chill aesthetic and made me realize I was listening to a truly great singer-songwriter.

02. Seasonal Beast - Dry Bones

Disclaimer: these are my friends. Yuval, the lead songwriter, plays keyboard in my band. But Seasonal Beast is easily my favorite rock band in NYC. "Dry Bones" isn't representative of their layered, spacey pop-rock sound, but I think it's the best song on the record. I'm a strings guy, and I absolutely love this arrangement, especially in the way it's seamlessly blended with the droning synths and textures. And then there's the song itself, which is just a perfect composition, in that sad, beautiful, autumnal sort of way.

03. Kendrick Lamar - FEEL.

This album came out at the perfect time, soon after the election, when a cloud of clinical depression was settling over (half of) the country. I love that this song is called "FEEL." Kendrick probably knows that a lot of people are, in fact, praying for him, but he's such an expert at channeling his emotional realities and making them compelling, so the song title comes across like a deliberate gesture to recognize that feelings are not facts, but they matter more. I love the clave cross-stick pattern in the beat, it's like equal parts hip-hop and bossa nova.

04. Ryuichi Sakamoto - andata

I discovered Ryuichi Sakamoto some time late last year, and he immediately entered my top ten. His film scores have a melancholic quality which completely overwhelms me, yet the music is totally accessible. And then he has a whole discography of experimental electronic music, which I've been slowly working my way through. This song "andata" seems to come from both worlds: it's a beautiful, straightforward theme that could easily have been written by Ennio Morricone in 1968, which is then layered with electronic textures. Interestingly, the real emotional weight comes from the electronic elements more than than the central piano theme.

05. Sondre Lerche - I'm Always Watching You

Pleasure is easily my favorite Sondre Lerche album. It has the same super-creative production approach as Please, but I think the songwriting is stronger. I love how the record employs an 80s sound a la Pet Shop Boys, but colors the party vibe with deeply sad and personal lyrics. The whole album feels extremely unstable, like the hedonism and self-discovery could slip out of control at any moment and land in despair. This song does the album's thing so well - it's a fun single, catchy and upbeat, but when you listen to the lyrics you pick up on the emotional vulnerability and comically disturbing subject matter.

06. Katy Perry - Chained to the Rhythm

Look, except for maybe "Teenage Dream" I never voluntarily listened to any Katy Perry song until this one. The song is completely ridiculous, and has a number of objectively terrible lyrics. But there's something about the second chord in the progression (the minor ii chord) that I'm absolutely obsessed with. That chord change brings me so much joy that I'm willing to listen to Katy riff ludicrously on the line "Like a wasted zombie!"

07. Thundercat - Tokyo

Drunk is such an insane album, it's hard to pick a favorite song. I think "Tokyo" is my favorite, if just because it's such a perfect example of Thundercat's particular aesthetic of Futuristic Funk By A Total Nerd Who's Also Legitimately Cool. Love the impassive delivery of the ridiculous lyrics, the keyboards that seem to deliberately channel video game music, the way he harmonizes the bass line. I saw him live in Brooklyn, and when he played this song he made it clear that all of the lyrics are completely factual, including the part about trying to get a girl pregnant.

08. Laura Marling - Nouel

The new Laura Marling album has super cool Blake Mills production, which I really enjoy. But she's always been one of those rare singer-songwriters who can actually sit down and perform a song perfectly in one take. I'm so glad this song was recorded that way, because it captures the 60s/70s color which has always been central to her appeal. Apparently this song is about how her friend Nouel serves as a sort of platonic muse. As somebody with a lot of songs about complicated muse dynamics, I really appreciate Laura Marling taking on that theme with a fresh perspective, as a straight woman writing about an inspiring woman.

09. Eric Slick - You Are Not Your Mind

This is one of those rare instances where the press angle about an album has actually given me some deep insight into the songwriting. Apparently Eric Slick wrote this album after working through a deep depression with meditation and Jungian therapy. As somebody who practices Jungian therapy and is six months into meditating, I'm naturally a fan of this album. But I find this song particularly touching, especially when he delivers the line "And all the pain, it isn't real."

10. John Mayer - Roll It On Home

I've always had a love-hate fascination with Mayer, but I appreciate that throughout his various hubristic downfalls, he's always been grounded by the humbling task of grabbing a guitar and trying to write a decent song. Production-wise, this might be the kitschiest track on a kitschy record, but I honestly love his nerdy affinity for the country form. The genre exercise seems to liberate him to write cleverer lyrics. My favorite line in this song: "The last ten texts were with your ex, and all of them were sent by you." All the more hilarious when you realize he's talking about Katy Perry (her again...).

11. Esperanza Spalding - the entirety of the EXPOSURE livestream

When Esperanza Spalding said she was going to record an album in 77 hours on Facebook live, I was slightly intrigued, but couldn't possibly begin to imagine how jaw-droppingly awesome it would be. Like many others, I became completely obsessed and had it playing in the background in my apartment for hours on end. The most striking thing was how calm and collected she was, despite having her entire creative process broadcast to thousands and thousands of people. I don't know what any of the songs are called but they were all incredibly inspiring, intricate creations and it was such a treat to see a master at work. Can't wait to hear the finished record.

[stevenrogers5-blog]

Red means it’s recording!

Summary: You’re a YouTuber and your subscribers want a cute boyfriend/girlfriend tag from You and Bucky. 

Warnings: Cute Shit. That is all.

A/N: I wrote this for a really good friend of mine. I hope she and everyone else reading this loves it! 

You sit down on the floor as you grab your laptop and plop it down on your lap. You decide to open up your youtube to check any recent comments that might have circulated. On your recent video you told your audience that you were open up to any video suggest that they may have. And  of course there was one that you just kept seeing repeat itself.

‘DO A BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND TAG!!!’ they all screamed. You sat debating if you should even bring it up to Bucky. It wasn’t a secret he wasn’t a fan of camera’s and audiences but it also wasn’t a secret on how much he loved you. He did pop up in the background of a few of your videos, and every single one of those got you the most views. Everyone was a fan of you and your boyfriend so it did not hurt to at least ask him. You close your laptop softly and set out to go find your boyfriend.

You made your way through the hallways till you spotted his back in the kitchen. You sigh, expelling any nerves you had and walked cheerfully into the kitchen.

“Hey James…” You say as you got closer to him. He tensed at his name as he knew you only used it when you wanted something.

“What is it now?” Bucky asks as he continues his sandwich making. You hug him from behind and put your forehead against his back. “Y/N, i know you want something. Spill now or i will say no to whatever it is.”

“My Youtube audience wants us to do a boyfriend/girlfriend tag and i know you hate cameras but its the videos that ,you’re in, that are my audiences favorites. You do not have to say yes, but it didn’t hurt to ask.” You mumble into his back. Bucky feels you sigh as you slowly let him go. You guys stand there in silence before you break it with the sound of your feet turning around to leave the room.

“Yes.” was all Bucky said as you reached the doorway. You turn around and meet his just as confused look before a smile spreads across his face. One slowly creeps across your face as you rush over to him.

“Really?!” You exclaim as you wrap your arms tightly around him. He nods his head as he returns the amount of pressure around your waist.

Bucky is soon sat in front of you camera as you try to fix the focus quickly. You smile sweetly at him as you see the nervousness slowly spreading across his features.

“Do not be nervous baby. The beauty of having this job is that we can take breaks whenever we want. We can stop if it’s too much at the time. And you can make as many mistakes because i will just edit them out.” You say as you take your rightful seat next to him. He just gives you a nervous smile as you turn towards the camera. You lean forward and press the record button.

“Hey my sweet dolls. It’s Y/N here and i brought someone that you guys have been wanting to officially meet for a while now!” You say sending a wide smile to Bucky. Bucky just kind of stares blankly at the camera before pointing to the red light flashing from it.

“What does that mean?” Bucky questions. You give him a super confused look as you know he has used cameras before.

“Red means it’s recording..” You say.

“Sorry…. Tony never explained it before. It’s been a burning question for a while now..” Bucky mumbles as he looks at his hands. You try to hold back a giggle before you press a soft kiss to his cheek.

“I’m leaving all of this in the video.” You mumble before turning back to the camera. “Let’s try this one more time. Hey my sweet dolls. It’s Y/N here and i brought someone that you guys have been wanting to officially meet for a while now! The Bucky Barnes.” You say as the familiar smile forms across his face.

“Hey guys.” Bucky says as he waves at the camera.

“The guy you have seen and heard in the background of many of my videos. What’s to hold you back from wanting to get to know the man himself.!” You exclaim to the camera before turning back to Bucky.

“Which i don’t even know why you want to know about me but i am honored” Bucky says, looking at you. You send him a sweet smile and he rubs your back.

“Who wouldn’t want to get to know you?’ You question.

“Good question! They clearly want too!” Bucky exclaims as your favorite smile is plastered across his face.

“ So as i said in my last video, i would take requests and the number one was for us to do the boyfriend/girlfriend tag. So before we get to the questions, guys please go like this video and consider subscribing!! If you do, i promise to bring this guy back” You say as you squish his face into a fish lips face. He groans as he looks at the camera with a ‘please help me’ look. You laugh as you let go of his face.

“Thank you for that Y/N” Bucky whines as he rubs his cheeks trying to get you to feel bad for him.

“Okay, so i made us flash cards with questions on them. I split them in half. This is your stack and this is mine” You explain as you hand him a pile of brightly colored note-cards. He nods his head as he takes it from you. He kisses your cheek earning a smile from you before you guys turn to the camera. “Okay, first question, go ahead Bucky”

“When and Where did we meet?” Bucky asks as he wiggles his eyebrows earning yet again another laugh from you.

“That’s an easy one. You were on your daily run with Steve. And my beauty took you so far a back that you ran right into me! It was just up the road from the tower actually. I got a massive bruise on my butt and he scraped his knee and hands up. It was so funny, and Steve loves to make fun of him for it to this day” You explain as the camera captures the embarrassment but love for the moment in Bucky’s face.

“Let’s just say i was falling for her before i even got her name” Bucky laughs as a blush creeps it’s way across your face. You huff as he bops you on the nose with the note-card that had the question on it. He then throws it across the room.

“Bucky!” You exclaim as it boomerangs it’s way back towards you guys. A hardy laugh erupts from his chest as it goes flying across the camera’s view before it lands in front of your feet. “We are never going to get through this if you keep doing that!”

“Oh come on! I am only having fun!” Bucky exclaims, swating at you. You roll your eyes even though your smile gives away your actual feelings.

“Second question, where and when was our first kiss?” You quiz your boyfriend. He leans his back as if he’s trying to search his memory.

“Our first kiss was right outside of this building. It was a week into our relationship. I asked you and you nodded your head and the rest is history.” He smiles as the fond memory plays in both of your memories. Bucky wraps his arm around you and pulls you closer to his body. He places his head on your shoulder before he grabs his next note card. “Who said i love you first?”

“You. It was almost like a weight had lifted it’s self off of you the moment the words escaped your lips” You state boldly.

“It’s because i really did fall for you the day we met. It took everything in me not to scream it at you that very second” Bucky says as he chuckles lightly. Your heart flutters at his words as you press your lips together.

“What eye color do you wish i had?” You ask, looking into his eyes.

“Well i love them the way they already are, but if i had to pick, i would love for them to be a little bluer” He says as he exams your eyes.

“I would want yours to be greener.” You state before looking at the camera once again. He rolls his eyes playfully before looking into the camera as well

“What am i good at?” Bucky asks.

“You’re good at making me feel loved even when i feel so left out and hurt.” You say. “You’re good at making all feel safe even when you feel the most vulnerable.” He smiles to himself as your words spill out of your mouth.

“What am i bad at?” You ask, sending your boyfriend a warning look. He just sends you his famous smirk before looking at the camera.

“She’s sooo bad at telling jokes. It’s like listening to your dad but the jokes are as dry as the desert. They make everyone cringe” Bucky states matter a factually, crumbling backwards, preparing himself for you to smack him. You just scoff as you give him a pouty face. “But i love you!”

“But not my jokes? I am hurt” You exclaim loudly as you clench your chest pretending to be stabbed. “My heart!”

“You are so dramatic,” Bucky says as he once again rolls his eyes playfully. HE looks down at his next note-card. “Turn around” Bucky says, making a spinning motion with his finger. You give him a curious look but you do what he asks. Once your back is to him, he places his hand around your head to cover your eyes. “What color are my eyes?”

“Blue” You say effortlessly.

“That’s not even hard. All you do is stare at me!” Bucky whines, lowering his hand.

“You’re just mad that i know you better than you know yourself.” You say, picking up the last note-card. “This one better be easy boy or i swear you will be sleeping on the floor of Steve’s room”

“Just ask it!” Bucky says giving you a pouty face.

“How long have we been dating?” You ask. Bucky sits there in silence for a second before putting his hand on his chin like he actually needed to think about the answer. You gasp as you slap your boyfriend playfully. “Boy i swear to goodness!”

“2 years and 11 months” Bucky says, trying to block your smacks as the hardy laugh from earlier escapes his lips again. You shoot him a look before you look back at the camera.

“Okay, well that is all you guys get for now. Once again, hit that like button and i may just consider bringing this boob back onto my channel. Love you guys whole heartily. Until next time, Goodbye.” You say as you bring Buckys and your hand up to the camera lens. You turn your camera off and look at your boyfriend. “That wasn’t so hard, now was it?”

“Actually it really wasn’t. But it did help that i had my side kick by my side the entire time.” Bucky says as he brings you into his lap. You guys share a kiss before you mumble against his lip.

“I am not editing a single second of that.” He gasps as he brings his hands to your sides. You turn into a mess of giggles as your boyfriend tickles you till you were a begging mess for it to end. He puts his hands on the floor next to his thighs as you place yours on his chest. “But for real Bucky, thank you.”

“Anything for my girl. Even if i have a scar on my knee from falling for you.” Bucky says, kissing you as you both turn into laughing messes once again.

[jbuffyangel]

Let It Go: Arrow 5x21 Review (Honor Thy Fathers)

See... this is what happens when I don’t pull all nighters. My life interferes with my ability to write insanely long reviews. Sorry for the wait my friends. Your patience is appreciated.

There comes a moment in every person's life when you realize your life is your own, a separate entity beyond your parent's expectations and dreams for you. You also see your parents for what they are... imperfect people just like you. There is freedom in these realizations and it is a crucial part of adulthood. As you grow older, your life is less and less defined by being what your parents leave behind. You begin to wonder what you will leave behind. You define a legacy for yourself. You learn how to live for yourself.

That is essentially the process both Oliver and Thea are going through in "Honor Thy Fathers" but because they are superheroes everything is on a super scale. Both Oliver and Thea faced their past tonight. They saw Robert Queen for who he really was and with those lessons came a certain peace. The past is no longer weighing them down. Both Thea and Oliver are free to look to the future.

Not quite sure what to do with a television show that gives me everything I've been waiting for on a narrative level. So... Imma gonna drink wine and throw confetti.

Let's dig in...

Olicity

I am very specifically incorporating Oliver's section of the review with Felicity because he could not have gotten here without her. That's true for both this episode and this five year journey.  

This is sort of my Arrow mantra, but let’s do this again for old times sake shall we? In every hero's story, there is a great love. This love is what the hero fights for, sacrifices for and lives for. This love is what makes the hero a hero. 

The wonderful thing about Oliver and Felicity's love story is they are each heroes in their own right. The love Oliver has for Felicity has helped her evolve into the hero she is and the love Felicity has for Oliver has helped him evolve into the hero he is.

However,  "Honor Thy Fathers" was specifically about Oliver. The road to the Green Arrow was long and difficult. I've always said when Oliver becomes the Green Arrow he will ready for Felicity. She is the last piece to this puzzle. However, he cannot become the Green Arrow without her.  Oliver must walk this road alone sometimes, but he also must walk it with Felicity. What's so beautiful about "Honor Thy Fathers" is not only did Felicity walk those final steps with Oliver... she held his hand.

Chase sent Oliver a corpse encased in concrete because... the fun? Honestly, Prometheus does the most fucked up things and I love him for it. Arrow has found its off the wall, loony tunes Joker and please oh please can we keep him?

It's a fifteen year old corpse, so it's not Robert Queen like we presumed. It's actually much worse. It's the body of the man Robert Queen killed. Now, way back in Season 1 the audience was told this little nugget of information in the flashbacks of 1x21 "The Undertaking." Oliver, however, was not.  For those of you who are like me and have absolutely no recollection of this information, allow me to fill you in:

Robert Queen: Because I'm not the man you think I am. About a month before the opening of the steel factory, the one in The Glades,  I was approached by a local councilman. He wanted money. Told me that's the way everything was done in The Glades. I told him I never paid a bribe in my life.  We got into an argument. I didn't want to hurt him,  I swear Moira, but he fell.

Moira: Oh dear God.

Robert: The work I'm doing with Malcolm, with the list, it's my penance Moira.

Moira: So you'll atone for one murder by committing hundreds? Thousands? Robert, you listen to me, whatever wrongs you've committed, whatever mistakes you've made, preventing this horror is your chance to make it right. Please Robert, promise me you won't let this happen.

Robert tried to make it right. He plans in motion to stop Malcolm. He told Moira everything was going to be alright... and he got on the boat.

Note the episode number. We found out the truth about Robert Queen in the flashbacks of 1x21. It is no accident that, four years later, Oliver is finally coming to grips with that truth in 5x21. Robert Queen's death is the catalyst for Oliver's hero's journey and the beginning of his pain. This road for Oliver began with father, which is why it has to end with him.

Our lives can change in a breath. One decision, one moment, can change your life, change you, forever.  As Robert Queen held his son on that boat he was given a gift. A moment of clarity.  Robert saw his son for who he was and everything he could be. When Robert looked into Oliver's eyes, he saw the legacy he wanted to build, but death would not allow. Robert didn't know how, but somehow he knew Oliver would survive. Oliver would make it home. He would make it better. Oliver would right his wrongs.

Anatoly: That video. He wants you to save your home. I do not think Kapiushon is what he had in mind.

The thrill of the characters voicing my thoughts never gets old. 

Anatoly is right. Robert Queen never imagined the Green Arrow. He saw something different I think and it gave Robert the courage, and the peace, to pull the trigger.

However, Robert's death has weighed Oliver down for ten years.  Oliver has never been the same since then. He blamed himself for Robert's death. It's the reason why Oliver believed he enjoyed killing. He believed he was a monster long before Prometheus came into the picture. He just was too scared to admit it.

Arrow is pushing Oliver to face the truth on multiple levels. Last week, he confessed his deepest shame to Felicity and discovered that his deepest fear, Felicity leaving, was for naught. Instead, truth is what brought her home. 

Truth is what made Felicity stay. Truth led Oliver to forgiveness and opened the door to the love that's been waiting for him all along.

But Felicity isn't the whole story. There's more truth Oliver has to discover, both on his own and with Felicity by his side. Primary among that is the truth about Robert Queen. Oliver has to understand who his father really was and what that means for him.

Naming the darkness was the first step.

Confessing to Diggle, so Oliver’s mind could understand the truth, was the second step.

Confessing to Felicity, to love, so his heart could believe the truth, was the third step.

And understanding his father, in a way Oliver never has before, is the final step.

Step to what you ask? To letting the pain go.

Oliver is convinced Chase is framing Robert. There is no way Robert killed this councilman, even though Dinah and Lance bring some hard-to-defy evidence like Robert's DNA under the councilman's skin. Damn that pesky concrete. Conservation is a motherfucker.

Oh Oliver... my sweet summer child. You poor bastard.

It's no secret that Oliver views his family with rose colored glasses, but there's something eternally innocent about the way Oliver loves his family. It's like he's trying to hold on to the way he remembered them before the Island. Except, every new secret unearthed makes that memory seem further and further away.

What Oliver doesn't understand, and what he will come to realize, is seeing someone for who they truly are is still love. Unconditional love doesn't mean we are ignorant to the flaws of those we love. It doesn't mean we cannot demand better. It simply means we continue to love that person while acknowledging the truth of who they are. It's a more complete way of loving. A more honest love.

Of course, Chase has thought of everything, which includes irrefutable proof that he leaves with his father's attorney - the last man to see the councilman alive. The proof is security footage of Robert Queen killing the councilman.

Now, generally speaking, this is the least murdery murder video I've ever seen.

It's CLEARLY an accident, but that makes it all the more tragic. Instead of telling the truth, Robert Queen runs away. He covers it up. If Robert had confessed and shown the video to the police, yes there probably would have been consequences (Murder 2 is a thing), but nowhere near as severe as the punishment for covering it up.

This mistake is what led Robert Queen to Malcolm Merlyn. It why Robert believed in the list. It was his penance. It's also what put him deep inside The Undertaking and squarely in Merlyn's crosshairs.

Shame runs deep into our marrow, until it becomes part of who you are. Robert's shame led him down a dark path, just like Oliver's did. Say what you will about Robert and Moira's marriage, but it was confessing to his wife that made Robert see the truth. Just like Oliver confessing to Felicity made him see the truth.

Oliver is horrified after watching the video. So... let's talk about this because Oliver's reaction is slightly confusing. First, he knew Robert was a murderer. Robert shot the other man on the raft  before he shot himself. THAT COUNTS OLIVER.  

Also, his involvement with the Undertaking was pretty shady. So, why is Oliver freaking about little Mr. Accidental Death?

Well... I think we need to keep a couple things in mind. First, this is five years later. Initially when Oliver came home he had a lot of difficulty with the knowledge that Robert failed the city, the list and the Undertaking. 

By the time Oliver arrives to the end of 1x23, and his battle with Merlyn, he believes his father was trying to stop The Undertaking and that's why Merlyn killed Robert. All factual. So, after the events of Season 1, Oliver is able to view his father in an honorable light despite his past mistakes.

As for the man on the raft, Oliver views that murder as his father doing what he had to for Oliver to survive. The key is, Oliver is able explain his father's actions to himself. He is not able to do the same with the councilman.

I don't think Oliver has as much of a problem with the killing as he does the lying, which is extremely interesting given what he's just gone through with Felicity. Oliver can tell the difference between accidentally knocking someone into a pit of cement versus breaking someone's neck. Intent matters. So, Oliver is willing to give his father a pass on the actual killing because it was an accident. It's why Oliver defends Robert to Thea.

Oliver: That was an accident.

Thea: Yeah, an accident he tried to cover up.

Yuuup. That about sums it up kiddos. A+ work Queen sibilings. Both are right. It was an accident, but Robert did nothing to try and save the man. Concrete actually takes some time to harden there Bobby. You could have taken a minute to investigate or call the police. There was time.

Instead, Robert leaves and covers it up.

Oliver is having a very Felicity Smoak like reaction to all of this. Oliver thought he knew everything about his father. He thought he knew all of Robert's secrets. Oliver had dealt with and processed all of those secrets. Then, he comes to find there's another one lurking around the corner. Is it the worst thing Robert ever did? Well... it's not good! That's for sure. 

Whether or not it's the worst is debatable, but the excuses and reasoning Oliver used to justify his father's actions on the raft and with the Undertaking don't quite fit with the councilman. Oliver has the rug pulled out from under him with this revelation. It makes him question everything about Robert Queen.

This is precisely what happened to Felicity when she discovered Oliver's lie about William. Felicity thought she knew Oliver's secrets and processed all of them. Felicity thought they were past this and then she comes to find out that there's another lurking around the corner. She had the rug pulled out from under her.

The effect is jarring and takes some time for Oliver to process - just like it did for Felicity. Luckily for Oliver, he has Felicity to help guide him through it precisely because they've found a way to weather the William lie.

I love Felicity's reaction to Oliver watching Robert's video again. "No pressure." I mean... seriously. 

The enormity of what Robert was putting on Oliver's shoulders is not often discussed, but this was one hefty load to bear.  The fact that Oliver rose to the occasion is just more proof Robert Queen saw the hero Oliver truly could be in those final moments.

Oliver: Chase wants to destroy the basis for everything that we’re doing here and that crusade began with my father. Everything that I’ve done, everything, has been in some way about honoring him.

Once again, Oliver tells Felicity what he's afraid of. He's getting pretty good at this isn't he? 

He tells Felicity that he missed the truth - Robert Queen is a murderer. Oliver puts killing the councilman and covering it up in a different bracket than helping Merlyn with the Undertaking (but ultimately trying to stop it) or murdering the man on the raft. For Oliver, this is the worst thing Robert has ever done. Robert Queen would agree.

Chase's mission is to get Oliver to believe he's a hypocrite and a killer. The subsequent confession that resulted from the torture made Oliver believe those things were true. Thanks to Diggle and Felicity's love, Oliver understands the truth now. There's a difference between enjoying killing and believing he enjoys it. Oliver's deepest fear was that, deep down, he was a monster. The killing was a manifestation of who he truly is. As I explained in my 5x20 review, the reason Oliver so readily believed the lie is because he believes he killed his father. 

Oliver believed he was a monster before he stepped foot on Lian Yu.

Except, Oliver isn't a monster who enjoys killing nor is he to blame for Robert Queen's death. Oliver Queen is an imperfect man, as we all are. Oliver is realizing on a deeper level that his father was just as imperfect. This is ultimately a gift. It's pushing Oliver to see what Robert truly meant by, "Right my wrongs."

Oliver likes to put people in boxes - including himself. You are either one thing or the other. People are far more complicated than that. Oliver is not a sociopath who enjoys killing. However, he has killed. Those two things are not the same though and there is a wide berth in the distinction between the two. It's the same with Robert Queen. Oliver's father may not be as honorable as he thought. However, he's not the monster Adrian Chase claims him to be.

At first, Oliver feared his mission was a lie because of who he is. Now, he fears it's a lie because of who Robert Queen was. Everything he's done was to honor a man who wasn't very honorable. In fact, Oliver has killed in his father's name. Is it any different than what Chase is doing for his father? Maybe Chase is right. Maybe Oliver is a hypocrite.

To which, Felicity responds...

The conversation Oliver and Felicity have about his father is nearly identical to the one she and Oliver had about him, which is exactly the point. Like father like son. The only way to stop the cycle is to change it.

No matter who Robert Queen was, he was a man who inspired Oliver to be a better man and save the city. All of which Oliver accomplished. Felicity argues perhaps the reasons for beginning the journey are not as important as the journey itself. PREACH MY SISTA!

As Oliver struggles with the truth of his father, Felicity tells him once again what she knows to be true. Oliver Queen, the Green Arrow, makes lives better, including hers. Felicity sees what Robert Queen saw in that boat. She's always seen it and that belief has helped Oliver see it too. Oliver did it. He became everything Robert asked him to be. Rather than question his motives for becoming the Green Arrow, Oliver simply needs to embrace it.

In other words... Oliver needs to let the past go.  

As Oliver laments his inability to really move forward, because the past always pulls him back, 

Felicity rightly points out it's because Oliver lets it. LORD IS THAT THE TRUTH.  

Listen, it’s not like Oliver’s pain isn’t understandble. Homeboy has lived through THE SUCK. But... he doesn’t have to keep living there.

We cannot change the past. We can, however, change how we deal with it. 

None of us belong to our past. None of us are defined by it. The past is a piece of who we are, but it is not the sum total of who we are. The difference between Oliver being hostage to his past and moving forward to the future is a matter of choice. It's been one Felicity has been asking him for a long time to make. Oliver simply hasn't been ready until now.

It's the same as confessing his secret. Say it out loud Oliver. Say it out loud so you can let it go. It's the reason it was so vitally important for Oliver to confess his shame to Felicity. Love reflected the truth to Oliver. Once he understood it, Oliver was able to let the shame go.

Not only does Oliver tell Felicity he knows she’s right...

he believes she's right. This is why Oliver needs Felicity. It why he will always need her. Knowledge speaks to the mind, but belief comes from the heart. It's why Oliver is able to process Robert's lie for what it is... and let it go.

Equally important is Oliver reaching out to Felicity. There is an ease between them. No more walls, but rather the intimacy that comes from the love and truth between them. 

William was once a taboo topic, but now they talk easily about his whereabouts. Oliver asks Felicity for help with William and is reassured by it. THY NAME IS CHARACTER GROWTH!

And then... WE HAVE SHOULDER TOUCHING!!! 

My actual reaction:

This is the Olicity equivalent to foreplay. Do not ask me where the rebuild is. SHOULDER TOUCH = REUNION. These are Olicity maths that don't lie.

More importantly, when Oliver discovers what Robert did he doesn't make the same mistake and push Felicity away. He doesn't isolate in his pain. Nor does Oliver allow his worst fears to dictate his reaction to her love.

Instead, Oliver opens up to Felicity. He's already told her the one thing he never wanted to. Facing that fear and shame makes facing all the rest easier. Lian Yu will always beckon to Oliver every time his past rears its head, but 5x20 taught Oliver how to leave the Island behind in a way he's never known before.

He makes the same choice in "Honor Thy Fathers." He didn't know it then, but there was a piece of himself Oliver was holding back in Season 4. 

Oliver understands that now and faced it. This time, he doesn't hide from Felicity. Oliver chooses to leave the island behind and walk through the door Felicity opened in "Underneath." 

Oliver shows Felicity the video. He listens. Oliver lets Felicity in. Her words land because Oliver allows them to.  In this moment, Oliver chose home instead of the island because now he understands how to. Now he understands there's nothing to fear in that choice. This is the change Felicity asked for.

Oliver is ready.  He's ready for Felicity, which means he's ready to be the Green Arrow - in the way he's meant to be.

Oliver puts on the suit, but it's Felicity's speech that galvanizes the choice. Oliver must become the Green Arrow to be worthy of the kind of relationship she deserves, but he cannot become the Green Arrow without her. Putting on the suit as a direct reaction to Felicity's words is the perfect way to encapsulate this symbiotic balance. It reinforces absolutely everything I've believed about Arrow and have spent the last three years writing about. I have to be honest, it's an extremely satisfying moment and worth waiting five years for.

Felicity harnesses his light once again. Felicity's belief makes Oliver believe like it has so many times before. Only this time Oliver knows he is worthy of the responsibility in a way he hasn't before. The darkness no longer has power over Oliver because he faced it. It means Oliver is able to see himself as more than just one thing - killer or hero/sinner or saint. He understands he's a complicated man, an imperfect man, but a man who is determined to always be better.

This belief also leads Oliver to some truth about who Robert Queen really is. Oliver is able to see his father the same way - a complicated man, an imperfect man, but a man who was determined to be better. This clarity leads to a gift.

Oliver tells Chase mid battle Justin Claybourne was going to disown him because...

The truth bomb is a bit jarring to be honest because the revelation to Oliver was off screen. I think I would have preferred to see Oliver obtain this little golden nugget and know the ace up his sleeve going into the fight with Chase. It felt less like a bomb and more like

I'm being a little nitpicky. I know, which is why I'm letting it go.

Chase wants to a side by side comparison of their fathers, Robert and Justin. Fine, let's play Crazy Pants. Let's just say accidentally killing a man and covering it up is on the same level as trying to gas the population with a terminal disease in order to make millions off the antibiotic. Or let's say being complicit in a plan to kill hundreds or thousands with an earthquake machine is the same as the terminal disease plan. Perhaps that's a more equal side by side comparisons.

First, Justin Claybourne expressed no remorse. In fact, most of those people landed on the list because they rejected the concept of remorse. It doesn't make it okay that Oliver killed him, but it certainly doesn't equate to the remorse Robert Queen felt for all his wrongs.

If this is really about honoring their fathers, then Chase missed a very key element. Justin Claybourne never wanted Sam to honor him. His father didn't want anything to do with him.

It's a moment of clarity for Oliver. Robert Queen was never asking Oliver to honor him. Robert was asking his son be more honorable than him. Robert believed in Oliver's goodness, in his heart, and had absolute faith his son would be a better man because... he already was one to Robert.  Robert never stopped believing in Oliver and he gave up his life for this belief.

I don't think Oliver ever looked at it that way before. He understood his father made a courageous sacrifice for his survival, but Oliver has been so consumed with the guilt and shame over his father's death that he was never able to see himself through Robert's eyes. I don't think Robert was viewing Oliver with rose colored glasses. He knew the good, the bad and the ugly about his son and still... he believed. Robert saw Oliver the way Diggle sees him. The way Felicity sees him. Oliver Queen is imperfect, but he is worthy. Unconditional love is not an ignorance to flaws. It is belief in spite of them.

It's important not to discount William's role in Oliver's realizations and evolution. You understand how much your parents love you when you have a child of your own. I didn't know I had the capacity to love that much until my daughter. How does one put the infinite into words? It's a love absolutely worth dying for, but more importantly, it's one worth living for.

The councilman's murder revealed Robert's deepest shame. Oliver understands the full meaning of, "I'm not the man you thought I was" because he knows the truth. And because of everything he's gone through this season.

Robert Queen is where the shame began. Robert Queen is where the shame must end. Oliver sees his father clearly now and he understands that Robert's sins are not his own. 

We are not condemned to live our parents lives, to make their mistakes or become who they were. There exists a choice. Make no mistake - it is very easy to fall into the same patterns as our parents. That's why we must be willing to see them for who they are - imperfect people. Just like us.

For so long, Oliver Queen has lived in the past. He allowed the past to dictate and control who he was. 

Felicity's request to stop living in the past finally lands with Oliver because... he's ready for it to. The darkness has lost its power over him. The light has taken the stronger hold. Oliver is just... done. He's tired of being pulled back. It's time to move forward.

Sometimes it's easier to see who we are when we see ourselves reflected in someone we love. Thea immediately assumes because of who her parents were that's the reason she's grown up to be a monster.  For Oliver, the last thing Thea is or could ever be is a monster.  If Thea's fate isn't predetermined in Oliver's eyes... then wouldn't that be true for him as well?

Of course it is. We are not carbon copies of our parents. Oliver is not fated to be like Moira and Robert anymore than Thea is fated to be like Moira and Malcolm (and Robert). Their parents are part of Oliver and Thea, of course, and that includes their mistakes. However, they are not beholden to them. Our parents lives can be a great gift to us. We can see the twists and turns of their lives - the places where they made mistakes and where they triumphed. We are not meant to become our parents, but rather to learn from them - the good, the bad and the ugly. Not unlike the past.

Oliver gives Thea the video Robert left of her. He knows it was wrong to keep it from her. Oliver thought the video would be a burden, but he understands now it can be freeing for Thea. She needs to see herself through Robert's eyes, just like Oliver did.

There's another moment of significant change in Oliver. He doesn't kill Chase. The councilman's murder makes something crystal clear to Oliver - Robert's wrongs started with killing. Therefore, they cannot be fixed with killing.

"What good is a family without a soul?"

Anatoly you speak my truth! This is the question Robert asked himself in the video and it’s the question Oliver needs to start asking himself this. What good is Oliver really doing if he loses his soul in the process? 

This has never been about the people Oliver has killed. Most, if not all, were very bad people and the world is better off without them. Oliver was justified in killing them, but that's really not the point. The point is the cost to Oliver's soul. All of this death takes a toll on him and it strips little pieces of it away. Oliver has to stop giving those pieces away, so he has to stop killing. Arrow is pushing Oliver to a stronger moral code. Something to hold to beyond rationalizations and justifications, because those can ebb and flow. That's not real morality. We can justify pretty much anything if we need to.

It's why Arrow incorporated killing with lying. It's not just about killing, but a broader morality. A more honorable one. Robert killed and he lied. Oliver killed and lied. We've seen the ramifications of both those choices and the roads they lead down. 

Anatoly: The people closest to you always pay for your sins. You are paying for your father’s. Who will pay for yours?

Death begets death. There’s been a cost for Oliver and sometimes it was more than he can bear.

This is generational. Oliver is no longer the son. He's the father now. If he doesn't want to repeat Robert's mistakes, if this is really about being a better man, then Oliver has to learn from his father. So, William isn't pulled into the same generational cycle. It gives his mission, his morality, a new focus. Oliver has to look to the future, and not the past, to define it.

But first... there's one last thing Oliver needs to do for his father before he can really let it go.

Sometimes, if we're lucky, we are given a glimpse. It comes to us like... truth. I've experienced this in my own life. Once as a small child and then again, years later, when I was pregnant with my daughter. The first time it happened I was only 11. It was the night before a big and risky surgery and I was scared. I didn't want to fall asleep, primarily because I was afraid I wouldn't wake up after the operation. So, I was trying to stay awake as long as possible. I decided to say a prayer. I don't particularly remember what I prayed, but I do remember a voice. Loud and firm, but very gentle. It said, "You are going to be fine. Go to sleep." In that moment I was absolutely overwhelmed with a sense of peace. I never felt calm like that and I instantly fell asleep.

You can call me nuts. It's okay. Sometimes I wondered if I dreamed it, but then it happened again. When I was facing a life threatening pregnancy with my daughter.  The voice was just as firm and loud. It kept saying, "28 weeks." And I knew, I KNEW, that's how long I had to hold on for my child to be okay. Eventually, my body just gave out and the doctors had to deliver her. My daughter's birthday was exactly 28 weeks to the day. As they wheeled me into surgery, I knew it was possible I might not wake up. The same peace overwhelmed me and I also knew, no matter if I survived or not, everything was going to be okay.

Y'all know by now I'm Catholic, so you can figure out who I attribute the voice to. I tell these stories because I think sometimes in moments of life and death, we're given these glimpses for a reason. These glimpses give us the strength to face what's coming, even if what's coming is death. Those moments weren't lonely for me and it gives me hope, that when it is my time, I'll be able to face it without fear.

We enjoy stories because they entertain, but also because they remind us of our own lives or we are able to glean some truth from them. I was hooked on Arrow before Felicity Smoak showed up. 

Robert Queen's death is what hooked me. It was shocking and jarring. I immediately understood the horrors Oliver had survived and that it was just beginning. I needed to see where his story went.

So, that's what Robert's words to Oliver mean to me. 

He was a given a glimpse and that is what gave him the strength to pull the trigger. I've often wondered what the glimpse looked like, whether it was a voice or an image or maybe both. Arrow answered a lot of questions in "Honor Thy Fathers" (like how Oliver learned to fly),  but this was the question I wanted answer - What was Robert’s glimpse? It was this...

Robert Queen never imagined the Green Arrow. He only saw his son, dressed in a fine suit, taking responsibility for what he did. Oliver admitted Robert killed the councilman. He stood up and told the truth. By doing so, Oliver freed Robert of his shame. Oliver freed himself too. More than saving the city, this is what Robert meant by "right my wrongs."

Oliver isn't able to offer any defense for his father's crime because... there isn't one. Except perhaps fear, but that doesn't justify his actions. Oliver does, however, tell Star City about the man that he knew. He tells them that Robert, in a moment of courageousness, sacrificed his life for his son. It doesn't erase his sins, but penance isn't about that. It's about atonement.

A Face Like Mine by Peter Bradley Adams

I know he had a reason

I know a man can get lost

Whatever he believed in

I know he suffered the cost

 His picture's almost faded

But I filled in the lines

And nothing's unforgiven

So father don't you cry

 Now the years have found me

With a child of my own

Another generation

That must carry the load

 But somewhere there's a memory

In the back of my mind

I see my father smiling

With a face like mine

This is a monumentally huge moment emotionally for Oliver. This is what letting go of the past looks like. Had Oliver found out about the councilman's murder four years ago, he would not have done this. He would have not told the truth. Oliver would have covered it up in the name of protecting his father. Oliver has a deeper understanding now of the truth honor really requires. He also understands what his father really needed in terms of "righting his wrongs."

Oliver also tells the truth about how Robert Queen died. "Honor Thy Fathers" is not the first time Arrow has used this title. 1x02 was entitled similarly, "Honor Thy Father." Oliver is very vague about Robert Queen's death.

Oliver implies, if not flat out lies, that Robert went down with the boat. That's the public story. It's the story Diggle knew before Oliver told him the truth. It's what Thea believed before Oliver told her the truth.

Now, Oliver tells Star City the truth.  He tells everyone how Robert Queen really died. Oliver admitting this publically is such a profound statement on his healing.  He  isn't carrying the guilt or shame for Robert's death anymore. Whatever wrongs his father committed, Oliver can look back and see that moment, the moment where everything changed, as one of profound courage and unconditional love.

"I didn't know how painful it would be to keep my secrets. You asked me to save this city. To right your wrongs. I will. I swear. But to do that, I can't be the Oliver that everyone wants me to be. Which means that sometimes to honor your wishes I need to dishonor your memory."

Oliver made this speech to his father, kneeling in front of his grave. He had such a different perspective back then on what honoring Robert meant, the necessity of lies and the danger of truth.  The weight of the past, of what Robert had asked of him, is weighing so heavily on Oliver in this moment it's almost crushing him.

This confession, admitting Robert's guilt and how he died, is the last weight of the past that Oliver finally puts down. 

By doing so, Oliver truly honors his father. He breaks the cycle of lies with truth. Oliver breaks the cycle of killing by seeking a different kind of justice. He's allowed family, 

friendship 

and love back into his heart. 

He's made lives better as the Green Arrow. 

And as Oliver Queen.

He's saved the city. 

Oliver has been forgiven  

and has learned to forgive himself. 

He's the Oliver he never thought he could be.

This is all Robert Queen has ever wanted for his son. He never wanted Oliver to be like him or live in the past. All Robert wanted was for Oliver to live his life to fullest for himself and for the people and city he loves. That's the life Robert died for. So... live it Oliver.

Thea Queen

Of all the characters on Arrow, I think Thea's arc has been the most complex and interesting. Truthfully, I didn't like Thea very much in Season 1 and watching her evolution has been one of the great joys of this show.  

Yeah, she was benched in Season 5, which sucks, but it happens to every character eventually. My concern any time a character leaves the Arrow cave is they will be immediately regulated to Laurel Lance land of S1 & S2, where it feels like they are on a different show. That's sort of what happened with Thea this season.

My preference, of course, is to utilize Thea the best way possible (and in every episode) like they did Season 1- Season 4. However, this is television and it is an imperfect medium. So, my next preference is to use the character in targeted episodes that produce maximum narrative punch. Arrow achieved maximum punch with Thea in "Honor Thy Fathers."

Oliver and Thea are on very similar trajectories this year, which I wasn't expecting at the beginning of the season. I sort of thought Oliver would have his crap together a little sooner. HA! I know. Foolish child.

Truthfully, I just didn't see Prometheus coming nor was I expecting the darkness bomb that was 5x17. Oliver's 2B journey is very similar to the journey Thea has been grappling with since, really Season 3. 

Is she a monster? Listen, being Malcolm Merlyn's daughter isn't easy and if I had that psychopath's genes in my DNA, I'd be giving the mirror a serious and hard look.  

Of course, Thea only need to look at Tommy for hope that maybe she's nothing like her father and DNA doesn't determine our souls.

Ugh. Still so painful.

I actually think Thea is more like Moira than she is Merlyn.

BABY MOIRA LIVES!!! 

Moira pulled some seriously shady stuff, which includes being complicity in the murder of hundreds. Moira was always willing to do whatever was necessary to protect her children and reconciled that her love for them balanced her sins in the cosmic equations. Moira was willing to go to the depths of hell itself if it meant keeping her children safe. This love gave Moira the strength to give up her life for Oliver and Thea.

Thea operates in a similar way. She's driven by love, like her mother, and not revenge and hate, like her father. But Thea understands something that even Moira did not. No matter how much their parents loved them, it doesn't excuse everything they did. Since Thea is driven by love, she can apply this lesson to herself. Being willing to do whatever is necessary to protect those she loves isn't an absolution. There's still a price to be paid.

What I love about Thea is her realism, especially when it comes to their family. She's the complete opposite of Oliver. Thea hears Robert killed a councilman and thinks, "Yup. Makes sense," while Oliver rails idealistic platitudes about their parents. It seems pretty clear there's only one Queen sibling who actually watches Arrow. I suggest Seasons 1-5 on DVD for Oliver for Christmas Thea. It'll make a nice stocking stuffer.

Oliver faced his own internal monster these past few episodes, which has prepared him to help Thea. Maybe in a way he wasn't capable of before. Now, he understands what Thea feels on a deeper level because instead of avoiding that pain like he has for the last five years, Oliver finally faced it. Well... after Chase tortured him, but Oliver still did all the work after, so I'm giving him points.

Oliver harnesses Thea's light by realizing that maybe he's not the person she needs right now. Who Thea needs right now is her father - Robert Queen. Oliver was afraid that what Robert says in the video would be a burden to Thea. He didn't want his sister to feel like she has to take care of him, which as Felicity accurately points out, is so Oliver Queen. Oliver sometimes fails to understand that this whole family thing is reciprocal.

What Robert tells Thea isn't a burden. It's freedom. 

It's such an exquisitely emotional moment, because we realize how well Robert knew both his children and how much Thea needs her father right now.

Thea is stronger than Oliver. She always has been and Oliver knows that. As much as Oliver has survived, as much as he's overcome, there is always a moment when pain shuts Oliver down. I don't attribute this all to his PTSD. This happened to Oliver before the Island. Part of his journey to the Green Arrow is to learn how to process pain and adversity in a healthier way.

“Fear doesn't shut you down; it wakes you up.” - Four, Divergent

Thea isn't like that. Pain doesn't shut Thea down. 

It wakes her up. 

She finds a way to absorb the pain and uses it to make her stronger.

“If there's a crisis, you don't freeze, you move forward. You get the rest of us to move forward. Because you've seen worse. You've survived worse, and you know we'll survive too. You say you're all dark and twisty. It's not a flaw, it's a strength. It makes you who you are.” Derek Shepherd, Grey’s Anatomy

Robert speaks to the core of who Thea is. 

Souce: @oilversqueen

Her strength is what makes her the rock Oliver Queen can crash against. There are two things Oliver cannot survive - losing Thea or Felicity. Oliver needs his sister to go on living. Losing her would be his breaking point. Oliver doesn't come back from that.

This love Thea feels for her brother, and everyone she loves for that matter, is often what causes her to cross lines. Robert gives Thea a gift because his words help her refocus that love. Oliver doesn't come back from losing Thea and there's more than one way to lose someone. If she wants to help her brother, then Thea has to hold the moral line as well.  Thea can love just as intensely as Moira and Robert (and maybe even Malcolm), but she can also love differently. That's how she breaks the cycle.

Oliver passes along the advice Felicity gave him to his sister because, after five years, he's finally realized she's always right and life would just be a lot simpler if he just listened to her the first time.

I think the words land with Thea for the same reason they land with Oliver. The past is a heavy burden to carry and there just comes a point when you are tired. You want to let it go. Someone just needs to tell you that it's okay. The Queen siblings are tired. They are ready to let this go. (So is the audience kids. Go with God.)

So that's what Oliver does for Thea. She's not a monster. She's not destined to become like Malcolm or even Moira and Robert. Thea is her own person and it's okay to let the past go. It's okay to start living for herself, because... Oliver is right. That's what Moira would want. That's what would Robert want. It's what they died for.

Lance and Wild Dog

Seriously, I ship it hard. The friendship between Lance and Wild Dog has been one of the surprises for me this year. It's taken a little while to get there, but their scenes together are really starting to land with me.  Paul Blackthorne and Rick Gonzalez just play off each other so well. Their two characters just blend together, which is kind of shocking when you look at how different they are.

Rene wants his daughter back. This makes me so damn happy. I enjoy hero stories that are moving somewhere. Rene's intent and purpose for being Wild Dog took a little while to flesh out, but ultimately my take away is- this year with Team Arrow prepared Rene to be the father Zoë needs.  Like so many before him, the mask was an outlet for his grief and rage, but I am seeing a less wild version of Wild Dog these past few episodes. He is learning. He is growing. He is far less annoying. Damn it. I like him.

His reticance about putting Zoë through a hearing I think actually shows how good a father Rene is. He doesn't want to put Zoë through emotional trauma. Rene is harboring a lot of guilt for what happened to her mother, for the reason Zoë is in foster care to begin with. It would be very easy to believe she's better off. (Does this sound like anyone we know?)

Lance tells Rene he's right. The hearing may bring up bad memories for Zoë, but that's exactly why he needs to go. Rene needs to get his daughter back so he can give her new memories - happy ones - of them together. Otherwise, all she be left with is the bad. Rene has resigned himself to living in the past and by doing so he's resigned his daughter to the same fate. He's refusing to look to the future, to the possibility of happiness, because of what happened in the past.

Lance became pretty emotional during his little chat with Rene and pretty much begs him to go to the hearing. Quentin Lance is a hard shell to crack, but once you do he's just full of ooey gooey yumminess. He cares about Rene. He's seen how much he's grown and Lance firmly believes Zoë is better off with her father.

I also think some of the emotion can be attributed to Laurel. She's always there, just underneath the surface, for Lance. Lance has a hefty amount of guilt for how Laurel died and for the pain his alcoholism caused her. Quentin doesn't have the same opportunity that Rene does. He can't make new happy memories with his daughter. He will never have that chance again. So, some of this for Lance is trying to get Rene to see that he still has a future with Zoë. Lance does not.  All he has left is the past.

It's why Rene not showing up makes ABSOLUTELY no sense. So it's one of two options: A) Rene still has a ways to go or B) my girl @callistawolf is right and Prometheus already took him.

Stray Thoughts

This really could have served as a season finale for me. I mean... obviously Chase is ten steps of Oliver, got captured intentionally and is going to fuck shit up crazy pants style. But from an Oliver Queen emotional evolution standpoint? I'm good. He's everything I ever wanted him to be (which is how he'll beat Prometheus).  Eh... well... alright, if I'm being honest I need him to kiss Felicity. Then we can trot off to Season 6.

First up in the "Arrow Finally Answers Series Long Questions" Robert taught Oliver how to fly. It was some of his last happy memories of his dad. Awww. Also... Oliver had a skill before the island? I didn't know that could happen!

Deathstroke mask washed up on shore and Oliver used it as a grave marker for Slade because he was his friend. Oliver also felt it was some sort of sign BECAUSE IT WAS. DUN DUN DUNN!!!!!

Oliver was only on Lian Yu for TWO DAYS before the boat rescued him. A boat Anatoly arranged.

Oliver's Tom Hanks Castaway hair do was a wig. Oh Arrow... that's very meta of you.

"It makes Isobel Rochev look like a bad practical joke." Hmm...  did you sleep with Chase Oliver? Asking for a friend.

Me: Well... Oliver and Diggle haven't done a concrete hole yet.

Curtis, and not the T-Spheres, took someone down. PROGRESS!

This might be the truest thing anyone has ever said about Oliver.

Prometheus pulls out a sword. I start looking around for Oliver's Ra's Al Ghul Killin' Sword. Would seem handy at the moment.

Source:sharingmyworld

Is there anything cuter than Proud Felicity? The correct answer is no there is not.

Mini rant: Dinah asking Curtis whether or not they should move in on Sampson was kind of ridiculous. DINAH IS A COP. She would know that the guns could be legal and they need to wait to have actual evidence of a crime for the case to hold up. We did not need Curtis to explain this to her. See... this is what bugs me about Curtis. More often than not, they are dumbing down characters (mostly FEMALE) to give him something to freaking do. 

I love the name Zoë. Always have.

There's always someone on this fucked up Island Oliver. How did you not check the whole island before Anatoly left? Have you not watched the damn show?

***None of the gifs are mine. If you’d like me to remove it or credit you, just drop me a message.

[bearhatarmy]

Here’s a hot take from conservative pundit and massive transphobe music fan, Ben Shapiro. Normally I would tackle the more serious topics Ben discusses, but this really felt like it deserved a response. 

Though, if I wanted to take a more serious angle, I suppose I could make the argument that rap is a huge part of the black community’s cultural identity & heritage and by belittling it, Ben is insulting and diminishing one of a marginalized group’s main creative outlets that they use to communicate their struggles. 

But that would be racist! Ben isn’t racist! He is constantly explaining over and over just how not-racist he is. Which is what all non-racists have to do. 

This has nothing to do with racism and Ben has some solid FACTS explaining why.  

HE LIKES JAZZ, OKAY? 

AND OPINIONS ARE NEVER RACIST. 

I GUESS.

EVEN THOUGH HE SAID IT WAS A FACT.

So, to be clear, this will just be a not-serious analysis about Ben’s totally not-racist FACT that rap is not-music. 

Let’s get this not-party started...

You see, Ben is famous for his motto, “Facts don’t care about your feelings.”

He’s even leveraged his factual wisdom and made it into merchandise. 

That’s a real thing people can buy. It even has 6 whole reviews on Amazon! 

Beyond the Box rated it with 3 stars saying, “It's okay but small.” 

(Aww, just like Ben!)

And Tim S. described the shirt’s fit as “Liberals are destroying the country.”

(I’m pretty sure that means it’s a tad itchy.)

Before I saw Ben’s factual tweet, I really FELT like rap was an amazing musical artform. It took poetry and made it musical. It gave people a new way to express themselves that didn’t require expensive music lessons or even instruments. A friend could just bang on a table while you let it flow. It made creating music more accessible. And as long as you had good rhythm you could participate. It FELT groundbreaking at the time. 

The very first cassette tape I bought was Good Vibrations by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. (I know that isn’t a great start, but I was like 10, okay?) The very first compact disc I bought was 2 Legit 2 Quit by MC Hammer. (Don’t laugh, he was the shit in 1991.) As I reached my formative years, I started listening to DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince, Beastie Boys, and House of Pain. 

I jump’d around. (squeeEEEEEee)

But as some of you may have noticed, most of my musical selections were very mainstream. You’ve probably also noticed that I am very... white. 

To this day, even! I think it is a chronic condition. 

My skin is near translucent due to lack of sunlight. I often say things like “indubitably” and “bloviate” and “I’m sure this chicken will be fine with minimal seasoning.” And at one point I owned the entire Creed discography. 

I was in desperate need of a Hip Hop education. 

Now using the official Rules of Republican Conduct™, if I want to talk about something with a racial component, all I need is a single black friend. This will absolve me of any consequences. 

Interesting Froggie Fun Fact... I went to a mostly black high school! 

Check this out...

That’s TWO black friends! 

Shawn is the one teaching me a complicated handshake I instantly forgot. And Marcus is photobombing us in the back there. 

I wish I could say our school was super progressive and everyone got along dandy. But in the mid-90s that just wasn’t the case. There were no major conflicts, but a lot of the white kids would sort of... self segregate. They’d all choose lockers in the same area. They’d sit in the same area at lunch and in class. And not a lot of them would interact with black kids outside of school. 

That said, I did not get the segregation memo. I got along with everyone. I’m not saying I was some amazing colorblind trailblazer crossing racial boundaries at every turn. My locker was in the white section too. And I only had two black friends (not pictured) that I hung out with outside of school. 

But I do think humor can break down a lot of barriers. And I used comedy to cross those invisible lines from time to time. 

Do you remember “Yo Mama” jokes? 

Like uhhh... Yo mama so old, her social security number is 1.  Yo mama so lazy, she stuck her nose out the window and let the wind blow it. Yo mama so classless, she’s a Marxist utopia.

You get it. 

Before school or before class, a lot of kids would have these competitions. They would face off with their best motherly insults and typically the person who received the loudest “OH DAAAAAAMMMMN!” would be declared the winner. 

One day I just kind of decided to make fun of Shawn’s mama. After a few seconds of stunned silence I got the loudest OH DAMN of anyone and we were suddenly friends. And then his friends were my friends too. Our friendship didn’t go outside the school premises, but it was still a lot of fun joking around with them at lunch or when we were supposed to be doing homework.

Shawn and I started a sort of cultural exchange. He would tell me about all of the amazing music he was into. And I explained why Batman: The Animated Series was not a kid’s cartoon. IT WAS ANIMATION. Says it right in the name.  

He introduced me to a wide range of artists of color. Old and new (at the time). We talked about Boyz II Men, Stevie Wonder, Michael Jackson, Prince. He introduced me to Mary J Blige who I follow to this day. And Aaliyah :(

He also told me about not-music. 

Ya know... rappers. 

I’ll be honest, sometimes this was challenging for me. I did not like or understand everything he suggested. I had a lot of racist baggage leftover from an all-white Catholic elementary school and my brain resisted for longer than I care to admit. But after seeing Shawn’s passion for this not-music, I became rap-curious and willing to keep an open mind. 

Let me try to name-drop from memory... 

Puff Daddy, Lauryn Hill, Wu-Tang Clan, Naughty By Nature, Snoop Dogg, Nate Dogg, Dr. Dre, Biggie Smalls, Ice Cube, and some guy named Tupac Shakur. You’ve probably never heard of him. 

He’d even sneak a Walkman in his backpack so he and his friends could sample his latest acquisitions. 

He’d be like, “Hey Ben, you want to listen to some Master P?” And I’d be like, “Sure! You wanna listen to Nine Inch Nails?” And he’d be like, “Naw, I’m good.”

Okay, so the cultural exchange could be a bit one-sided at times. But Batman bonded us all.

Admittedly, when I was at home, I still mostly listened to Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, and Stone Temple Pilots on repeat. And I do not listen to a great deal of Hip Hop these days. Mostly due to lack of guidance. I don’t have a Shawn in my life anymore. (But that Cardi B Money song was crazy good. And I’m not just saying that cuz the video had boobs.) 

Shawn was able to get me to a place where even if I didn’t like what I was listening to, I understood why other people enjoyed it. I really learned to appreciate rap and many of Shawn’s suggestions made an appearance on my super rad 90s Winamp playlist. 

Sometimes when I was having a bad day, it was nice to have a good day to fall back on. 

So when I was very whitely bobbing my head to the beat of that communal Walkman, I didn’t think my friends were stupid. I didn’t think I was stupid. I didn’t FEEL stupid.

But facts are facts. And my feels about facts don’t matter.  

You see, Ben Shapiro is known for being a master debater. You can find videos of him CRUSHING LIBRULS WITH LOGIC. Or DESTROYING FEMINISTS with TRU FACTS. Perhaps even DEMOLISHING SOCIALISTS with STATISTICS. 

His big Harvard brain is pretty relentless when it comes to DESTROYMOLISHING The Left.  

He’s great at taking standard conservative talking points, couching them in academic speak, and peppering them with dubious facts that don’t always hold up to scrutiny after the fact. Some might argue he cherry picks his opponents and the subject matter, creates scenarios where his point of view will be well received, and uses bad faith tactics to give the appearance of the upper hand. 

But that would be speculation and this post is all about FACTS. 

And Ben’s facts are too powerful to dispute. I doubt anyone is up to the challenge. Not even a transgender woman with epic makeup, glorious costumes, creative lighting schemes, and a degree in philosophy could take him to task. 

It’s just... unpossible.

*cough* Contrapoints *cough*

Sorry, had a froggie in my throat. 

SO... let’s see Ben defend “rap isn’t music” using his fancy debating skillz. It took him 6 years to come up with this, so I’m betting it’s bulletproof. 

OH I SEE. 

He plays CLASSICAL music. 

CHECKMATE, RAPPERS!

Ben Shapiro DESTROYGASMS Hip Hop with UNDERWHELMING TWEET.

If you’ll allow me to expound his logic, being a classically trained musician makes you more specialer than a regular musician. It makes him an arbiter of what is and is not music. I forgot that classical musicians were automatically given that power. 

I know Ben only ever presents facts, so I’d like to take him at his word, but I think I’d like to see this music master perform something. Just to be sure he has the proper classical credentials to make these bold claims. 

Here is a music video he produced for The Daily Wire. Clearly a high budget homage to one of the most thrilling television themes in recent history.  

Did anyone else feel like they were watching 3 robots play the blandest arrangement ever conceived? Or was that just me? SUCH ENERGY. 

I will say, those special effects were... something. 

And Ben really PWNED CNN. I’m sure they felt that slice all the way in their Atlanta headquarters. 

Ben, if you’re reading this, that video was totally funny in the way you intended. People are definitely laughing with you and not at you. I didn’t cringe even a little. 

But does this prove that Ben is a proper CLASSICAL musician? With all the power and privileges that entails? 

Does he have the authority to judge musical worthiness?

Despite his robotic performance, I suppose he did hit all the correct notes and everything. 

Is music like facts? Does music care about your feelings? 

I think what we need is a comparison. Something we can judge Ben’s performance against in order to gauge his level of classical musicianship. 

This is Tina Guo.

She is a Chinese-American immigrant from Shanghai. She moved here at the age of 5. She probably was able to sneak in because there wasn’t a border wall yet. She is taking the jobs of American classical musicians. Probably why Ben isn’t in a top-tier symphony orchestra as we speak. 

Tina is a cello prodigy who was trained classically. She attended the USC Thornton School of Music for professional cello studies on a full scholarship where she studied under Nathaniel Rosen and Eleonore Schoenfeld--some of the most influential cellists of the 20th century. 

She also made a huge splash on YouTube casually playing Flight of the Bumblebee as a teenager. No biggie. I’m sure Ben can play that too. 

Oh, and do you remember that badass Wonder Woman theme written by famous composer Hans Zimmer?

That was her playing the lead.

Now for the comparison. 

Watch Librul Immigrant DESTROY the Game of Thrones theme that she arranged ALL BY HERSELF without the help of a BIG STRONG MAN.

I don’t know. 

I think that was a smidge better than Ben’s version. 

What do you folks think? 

So here is the dilemma. 

We have two CLASSICAL musicians who are at nearly identical skill levels...

HOWEVER... after some investigation... 

It’s possible Tina Guo thinks rap... might be music.

*GASP*

THE EVIDENCE

One of her favorite ways to practice improvisation is to jam along with Hip Hop tracks she finds on YouTube.   

Now, conservatives like Ben LOVE dictionary definitions. It’s their go-to debate tactic when trying to legitimize the idea of racism toward white folks. So let’s use the dictionary really quick. 

When I looked up what this “jamming” word meant, it sent me to “jam session.” I was shocked by what I found.

Musicians? MUSIC? But those backing tracks she practiced to were used for rap non-music. BEN I AM CONFUSED.

I think I need to dig deeper. 

After scouring the internet for almost 2 minutes I was able to find something even more shocking.

Here is LIBRUL CLASSICAL SNOWFLAKE IMMIGRANT FEMINIST MUSICIAN sharing the stage with a CUCK NON-MUSIC RAP ARTIST.

That kinda looks like Tina Guo... and LUPE FIASCO. 

*DOUBLE GASP*

And I’ve double checked this... it seems this Lupe fellow is definitely a rapper. 

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? 

I mean, she has her cello. And he has a microphone. But it’s a FACT that rap isn’t music. So I guess they are doing some experimental anti-music performance together. 

ANOTHER SHOCKING IMAGE HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION AFTER ANOTHER 12 SECONDS OF GOOGLING.

What the heck, Tina? 

Why are you, A CLASSICAL MUSICIAN, on a stage with Common? Another rapper! 

I’m a little worried that Tina might be stupid. 

Ben’s FACT clearly states if you think rap is music, then you are stupid. 

And not only is Tina playing music near a rapper... I’m pretty sure she is playing music WITH a rapper. 

That’s like... double stupid. 

I really don’t know what to feel about these facts I’ve uncovered. 

These FACTS kinda FEEL like bullshit. 

At least I can take comfort in the absolute fact that Ben Shapiro is a solid 5 feet 9 inches tall. It gives me comfort knowing he can ride any roller coaster he wants.

Sick burn, Ben. Though you’re kind of implying that when Milo sees you he is giving you blowjobs. I’m sure you’re fine with that implication. It’s not like you’re homophobic or anything, right? 

The important thing is that everyone knows how you’re a big boy. Two inches taller than Napoleon!   

I mean, it would be silly to lie about such a thing so easily disproved, right? And there is nothing to be ashamed of if you are a shorter individual. My mom is short I think she’s the best! 

So I’m confident you are 5′9″ as you have stated.  

I CAN’T FEEL ANY MORE FACTS, BEN. 

MY SOUL CAN’T TAKE IT. 

You know what... screw it. 

I’m going to make it serious. 

Not liking rap isn’t racist. 

Telling people they are stupid for liking rap is super racist. 

And being too stubborn to apologize for a 6-year-old tweet compounds that racism. 

Liking jazz is just the musical version of “I have a black friend.” 

Not understanding that rap is a cultural staple vital to the black community and then comparing it to frickin’ Titanic makes it profoundly racist.

And... *takes a deep breath* continually defending a shitty 6-year-old tweet as recent as last July, even though you could probably just apologize, blame it on youthful ignorance, delete it, and never have to deal with it again, just because you can’t ever admit you ever said anything wrong... 

Well, that just makes you look...

[studypsy]

hey guys! I’ve been studying spanish for 6 months on my own and I have collected a number of resources! Here I;m sharing them with you! :)

Sites

memrise: my favourite site. you practice and learn new words and also it has mini gifs where you listen to native speakers saying some phrases!

the spanish experiment: a very cute site where you can learn grammar very easy cause it has so nice graphics and it is very organised. also you can listen to audio stories and read them! (3 little pigs, goldilocks and the 3 bear, red riding hood)

hellolingo: here you can talk in public chat rooms spanish! you can find laguage partner as well! i can say that are very willing to help you! 

duolingo: the classic duolingo we all know to practise vocabulary

lang8: write your essay and have it corrected by native speakers

italki: AWESOME site! you set the languages you want to learn, you can find a language partner very very easy. people will send you messages right away! you can write something and native speakers correct you as well!

verbix: your verb conjugator! put a verb and you it will show you how iit becomes in all tenses!

babel

busuu

mondlylanguages

Youtubers

Mariomelo: a crazy spanish girl, vlogging!

Azul mistico: spanish girl, she has gone to disneyland and work as a flight attedant she is so interesting

Jim reno: aesthetic videos!! when she speaks english she has spanish subtitles!

Yuya: latin spanish! this girl is so very cute and her videos very colourful! you will love her!

Heyitspriscila:latin girl vlogging about style she is very cute!

Maria cadepe: friend of mariomelo!

Yanes vlogs: spanish girl vlogging!

Familia carameluchi: a spanish family share their life on youtube!

Learn spanish with youtube

Maria espanol: spanish teacher where she posts videos of her lessons on skype with students. 

Culture alley: with these series of videos i first started learning grammar!

Tu escuela de espanol. learn spanish words with fun with drawing videos!

Butterfly spanish. latin spanish! spanish teacher learns spanish on a whiteboard!

Spanish is your amigo: a girl teach spanish!

Easy spanish with milena: a woman teaches spanish grammar!

Spanish made easy

Spanish with 2 year old: 2-3 videos with a 2 year old girl learning spanish from her father!

Movies

Abre los ojos (open your eyes): A man finds the love of his life but he suffers an accident and needs to have his face rebuilt by surger.

El orfanato (the orphanage):Thriller.  A woman brings her family back to her childhood home, which used to be an orphanage for handicapped children.Before long, her son starts to communicate with an invisible new friend.

Lo imposible (the impossible): The story of a tourist family in Thailand caught in the destruction and chaotic aftermath of the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami.

Mar adentro (The sea inside): The factual story of Spaniard Ramon Sampedro, who fought a thirty-year campaign in favor of euthanasia and his own right to die.

Biutiful: A thief tries to clean up his life upon learning that he has a terminal illness, all the while caring for his children and making sure their futures are as secure as possible.

La lengua de las mariposas (butterfly):Spanish civil war.The sweet  relationship between a young Spanish boy and his teacher

Series

Extra español: Series in spanish with slow spanish and spanish subtitles!very helpful for begginers!

Gran hotel: 1905. a waiter falls in love with the daughter of the owner and goes in so many adventures.

El tiempo entre costuras (the time in between): a poor dressmaker becomes a spy and rich dressmaker and goes into some several situations.

Seis hermanas: 6 sisters lose her father and try hard to keep their factory and prevent themselves from bankruptcy.

Velvet:1950. a love story of Alberto heir of Galerías Velvet one of the most prestigious fashion stores in the Spain and Ana who works as a seamstress there.

El Ministerio del Tiempo: fantasy. time travel!

Cartoons

charlie y lola

peppa pig

caillou

Singers, songs

Enrique Iglesias (duele el corazon, súbeme la radio, bailando, el perdón)

Alvaro Soler (el mismo sol, sofia, volar, agosto)

Nicky Jam (hasta el manecer, el amante, ya me enteré)

Shakira ( la bicicleta, loca)

Maluma ( carnaval, la temperatura, sin contrato)

J Balvin ( tranquila,  sigo extrañándote, ay vamos, bobo)

La gente de Zona ( la gozadera,  algo contigo )

Prince Royce (la carretera)

Online dictionary

Spanish dict

Games

Rockalingua: these games has so beatiful graphics!

Spanish games net: 

Language gym: its so interesting and it has plenty of exercises and beautiful graphics!

Clozemaster: fun games with graphics like super mario!

Online textbooks

grammar book

spanish-english dictionary with pictures

phrases and pronunciation

student book

Online books

Harry potter y la piedra filosofal

El alquimista (“The Alchemist”)

El principito (“The Little Prince”)

audio & podcasts

Online newspapers

el mundo

el país

el periódico

20minutos

Magazines

cosmopolitan (celebrities, lifestyle etc)

national geographic 

tú (teen magazine)

artishockrevista (a corner about art and museums)

revistagadgets (gadgets and technology)

cocinafacil (recipes)

Tumblrs!

ourspanishblog

spanishahora

premedspanblr

spanishland

puroespanol

spanishskulduggery

Other masterposts

1

2

Articles

how to learn spanish on your own in less than 12 months

how to learn spanish fast

I hope i helped a bit :) ~chrysi