#her paternal family must be very unhappy

[randomnameless]

Hm...

In one of her Nopes expedition lines, Mercedes says this :

"Both of my parents were great cooks. I even remember them teaching each other recipes when I was young. Cute, don't you think?"

Which is pretty odd, because I'm sure it references this line from FE Heroes, where she reveals she special sweets are made using her biofather's recipe, how he taught said recipe to her mom, but more importantly, how he died before her birth so she never saw him !

I told you before this recipe was passed down in my father's house. Before I was born, there was strife in the Empire, and he was killed. My mother and I lost our house and title. I didn't have any keepsakes of his. I had never even seen his face. All I had was this recipe he'd taught my mother.

Now, I would usually take Nopes over FEH in canonicity, but given how both Mercedes and Emile's recollection of Baron Bartels are, I doubt he is the one who was taught and taught recipes to their mother, and she wouldn't call any of their interactions cute!

So obviously, the "parent" who taught her mom how to bake sweets (and who was also taught how to cook too!) could only be Baron Martritz, a man Mercie never knew... and so, she couldn't remember a time where he and her mom were cooking together?

So unless Nopes suggests it's her Faerghan dad (the one who sent her to GM and wants her to marry) who cooked stuff, it's another case of Leopold "I have a major Crest of Cichol and a holy loincloth to prove it!" von Bergliez retcon.

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

not to be depressing, but what do you think carlisle would do if rosalie died, or vice versa? or even just your thoughts on carlisle and rosalie and what they mean to each other? their almost-father/daughter relationship is one of the most genuine and sweet relationships in twilight, imo, and i'm curious what you think of it

Please, this blog is depressing, I end every other post with "And then Edward ate Bella".

So, a general post on the Cullen relationships here. A post on Carlisle and fatherhood thrust upon him here.

A Bit on Rosalie and Carlisle

Like you, I'm very fond of Carlisle's father daughter relationship, and will go a bit further and say it's clearly a filial/paternal relationship. As much as Edward is a son to Carlisle, Rosalie is his daughter, the others are not quite 'children' in the same way and more end up in the role because that's how it goes.

They do have their issues.

Carlisle is plagued with doubt on whether he had the right to make the decision he did, especially as Rosalie makes it very clear she resents being a vampire. Rosalie respects and admires Carlisle, but he did turn her into a vampire not realizing she would have rather died (well, perhaps ultimately not, but she certainly fantasizes a human life she would never have lived).

Regardless, Rosalie clearly emulates Carlisle in everything she does. She pursues a medical degree (among many others), follows his way of life to the best of her ability and prides herself on it, and listens to his opinion even when it's dissenting (Bella and the van vote, protecting Bella from James, etc.)

Carlisle, in turn, is very fond of Rosalie. He always treats her with respect, clearly encouraged and aided her education, and always calmly explains when he disagrees on any issue.

Point being, they're very close, and one of the canon relationships I genuinely enjoy and don't think is a dumpster fire fed by grease. (Carlisle's other child is Edward. I'll just post this link here and remind audiences that Edward doesn't look at Carlisle the way he should a father. Edward is also Edward in general. Carlisle doesn't know it but that relationship is... yes.)

With that, on with the show.

What Would Carlisle Do If Rosalie Died

First, I imagine he grieves for her much the way he would for Edward. Rosalie, his precious daughter who was never truly happy for all the wonderful moments she had in her life, is now gone. That said, in a way, I imagine he hopes she's happier.

Carlisle believes vampires have souls and are not barred entry to the afterlife. I imagine he hopes that Rosalie can live the life she always wanted there and that, someday, he will see her again.

He grieves but has to act as a pillar of support for the family, likely mostly to Emmett, who I imagine becomes increasingly despondent with Rosalie's death.

She's what really tied him to the Cullens. To the playing human lifestyle, to the diet in general, and while he has attachments to the family they're not nearly as strong. I imagine he tries, for a while, both for lack of other connections and to honor her memory.

However, in time I imagine he leaves, falls off the wagon, and never gets back on. Carlisle, of course, has to quietly watch all this and try to help where he can.

Otherwise... the rest of the family's not nearly as upset as they should be and Carlisle denials himself into thinking they're all completely distraught when his back is turned. Edward, especially, must be devastated and yet he's holding up so well. What a noble soul.

What Would Rosalie Do If Carlisle Died

Whoooo boy.

Well, first off, without Carlisle there are no Cullens. The family would completely fall apart. These people cannot do this diet or this lifestyle on their own.

Carlisle's death would be a disaster that would devastate every single member of the coven.

Including, of course, Rosalie.

Rosalie would desperately try to keep the family together, maintain the Cullen lifestyle. She'd probably drop the high school act and apply for a job herself, make herself the patriarch, and get into very bad fights with Edward over who gets to be Carlisle 2.0.

This ends in disaster.

Edward likely leaves, sooner rather than later. Esme (and Bella and Renesmee if they're around) go with him. Alice and Jasper will likely then leave. Then it's just Rosalie and Emmett.

Otherwise, if Carlisle's been murdered, I imagine Rosalie seeks out and plans vengeance. These people will wish they had never walked the Earth. Fury and vengeance will be how Rosalie processes her grief and at the end of it she's still desperately unhappy and Carlisle's still dead.

She hopes Carlisle is right, that heaven exists for the likes of them, and that someday she'll see him again.

[drosera-nepenthes]

The Human Side of Royalty

Her royal highness the Crown Princess of Saxony had a husband who did not understand her, and she had a French tutor for her children who is an idealist of the most pronounced type. So the Crown Princess and the idealist eloped. The lady may find herself Queen of Saxony at any moment, for her father-in-law, King George, is aged and ill. His son, her husband, Crown Prince Frederick, is thirty-seven, and she is thirty-two. They married “for love” about eleven years ago. There are several children, and the Crown Princess will again become a mother, it is anticipated in May. The French tutor with whom she ran away  is a Monsieur Giron, “divinely handsome,” and aged about twenty-three. He “admits paternity” of the sixth child.

The highest royalty in Europe is involved in the scandal for Crown Princess Louise Antoinette is the daughter of Ferdinand, formerly Grand Duke of Tuscany and now an archduke of Austria. Her mother was a princess of the house of Bourbon-Parma. For a long period of time past her relations with her husband, the Crown Prince, have been unhappy. The Sachsische Arbeiter Zeitung (Dresden), a Socialist paper, goes into the matter with particularity.

“The Crown Princess has long been dealt with as if she were a wicked child. She was given ladies-of-honor whom she detested, whose business it was to watch her. Even when she made trifling purchases, she had to give an account to some lady-of-honor. She confided her humiliation in the tutor of her children, Monsieur Giron, and thus an intimacy sprang up which developed during her husband's absence. The King, enlightened by the ladies-of-honour, dismissed Monsieur Giron and ordered the Crown Princess confined to her room. Her fate was to be settled when the Crown Prince returned. A family council decided that the Crown Princess must retire to a convent or a sanatorium pending an application for annulment of her marriage. The Crown Princess refused to submit, and fled to Salzburg. Her family persisted in the intention to imprison her. Then it was that she joined Monsieur Giron. Last November the Crown Princess visited a painter's studio and said to him in a tone of melancholy: “How I wish I had a villa like yours in which I could be alone!” To the painter's wife she complained of the tyranny of royal etiquette, which often forced her change her toilette six times a day.

The Viennese journals give many particulars concerning the personality of this original Crown Princess. She is “lively, petulant, at once gay and sentimental, and above all incapable of repressing the words she wants to say. Her Viennese blood was responsible for her unrestrained behavior, notwithstanding her rigorous Roman Catholic education, against which she was ever in rebellion. She once summarily dismissed a Jesuit father who had been appointed her religious preceptor. She was very fond of reading authors of advanced ideas.” She talked freely with all classes of people, and scandalized the court by her affability to persons of “low rank.” The Crown Prince was of a very different character – “a military man from head to foot.” As heir to the throne, he had conservative and old-fashioned ideas. His only diversion was the chase. The domestic atmosphere was not harmonious in consequence of all these circumstances. The brother of the Crown Princess, Archduke Leopold Ferdinand, took her part in divisions that ensued. When the lady fled, the Archduke fled likewise. We quote the London Standard:

“The Archduke Leopold Ferdinand, already mentioned, who is now thirty-four, has renounced his rights as a member of the the imperial family. He made the acquaintance of a lady of non-aristocratic birth some time ago, and proposed to conclude a morganatic marriage with her. The Emperor, however, forbade it, and the Archduke first went to a sanatorium at Bonn, on the Rhine, and afterward lived in Salzburg with his parents. A short time ago he took a step similar to that of 'Johann Orth.' He addressed a letter to the Emperor, in which he informed his Majesty that he renounced all his rights and privileges ; he sent back all his orders, and informed the Minister of War that he resigned his colonelship in the army. The Allgemeine hears that the Archduke will adopt the name of Leopold Wolfing, and that his wish to leave the imperial family has already been complied with. The paper expects the he will now marry the lady, whom he met at Munich when accompanying his sister on her flight. He is described as a man of very liberal, not to say radical, views, and a trifle eccentric.”

Emperor Francis Joseph of Austria is stunned by the proceedings of his young relatives. The Neue Freie Presse (Vienna), which is in a position to speak with authority of the imperial attitude, says in the course of an elaborate editorial article:

“There has occurred an even which is so extraordinary of its kind that the memory can be searched in vain to find its paralell. The Crown Princess Louise of Saxony has fled … if such a thing happened in an ordinary family, the matter would be kept secret and the true state of affairs would be concealed as long as possible. But here we have to do with the wife of a King's son who is heir to a throne. A crown princess has duties of a higher kind than an ordinary wife. The lofty height upon which she stands affords no shelter if she herself does not shrink from sensation, and in breaking the marriage bond she severs the courtly ties that make her one with the royal dynasty and the royal throne. But taste for a freedom incompatible with her station caused her to obey her heart's promptings in a manner that destroyed not only her wedded life but also the pride of place which invests woman when on a throne with a kind of halo … How amply protected behind the shield of courtly etiquette were once the heart romances of women connected with princely and royal houses! How openly such matters a now revealed in the broad light of day! Were we to describe the period in which we live in the light of its most typical characteristic, we could not overlook the promptings or rather the emancipation of royal hearts which now leads to such dramatic tragedies. Such is the irresistible passion-birth. We have all the elements of sentimental romance in these brilliant situations. The psychology of the well-born is not, of course, essentially different from that of the lowly. But with the lowly happiness is subject to less artificial restraints and the passion of the heart has more freedom in its assertion. The human in its most natural aspect has never been banished from royal palaces, but its range is narrower. The restraint put upon it is greater than in the case of ordinary human beings. But this state of affairs seems to be passing away.”

This development of the human side of royalty has proceeded so far, continues the Vienna organ, that the world has almost ceased to wonder at “mesalliances.” There seem to be no longer gulfs separating the children of royalty from the other children of men. But this escapade of the Crown Princess has gone further than anything of the sort even in this advanced age:

“So radical and unrestrained a rupture between passion and tradition has never been seen in a royal house. The Crown Princess Louise of Saxony is none the less subject to the spirit of our time because it was her destiny to wear a crown. She evidently renounced all to fly out into the world in pursuit of her heart's romance. Yet there is something in such a renunciation as hers that forbids either sympathy or surprise. The splendor of the crown will not be dimmed merely because one individual has proved unworthy to wear it. It is but a symptom of the struggle between the old ideas and the new. A woman is lost. Althou wife, mother, and destined to be Queen, she preferred the impulse of inclination to the promptings of royal pride. Down below, where 'free love' boasts its followers, such cases are not rare. On the heights of life examples are less frequent. No instance so flagrant as the present one has previously come to light.”

The one real scandal in the affair is the flight of the Crown Princess who abandons her five children at a time when she is awaiting a sixth, says the Journal des Débats (Paris). The case of her brother is on a different footing in the opinion of this paper. “Renouncing a royal crown that she need not have waited very long for, she fled from Saxony and again from Austria, her family's native soil, and rushed abroad to an unknown fate which must prove one of bitterness and sorrow. Had the fugitive Princess been guilty of this headstrong act merely as a result of incompatibility of temper that made life with her husband insupportable, her case would be serious enough. The lofty station of sovereigns and future sovereigns is counterbalanced by certain restraints of deportment and respectability from which ordinary mortals are exempt. But in the case before us we have features that add to its gravity. A preceptor in the service of a princely family seems to have taken advantage of the discord between husband and wife to make court to the royal princess so assiduously that he became the companion of her flight. This is the scandal, the gravity of which it would be idle to palliate. The utmost that can be done is to plead extenuating circumstances in favor of the Princess, who, Archduchess of Austria, Crown Princess of Saxony tho she be, was none the less a human being, and as such subject to impulse.”

From the dynastic and political point of view the episode should not have an great importance, thinks the Paris paper – which is suspected, by the way, of royalist leanings. True, it will supply the advanced press with an opportunity for attacks upon princely families and the wearers of crowns in general. “But there is reason to believe that any such campaign will not be prolonged and that it will have no appreciable results. It is an established fact that in Anglo-Saxon and German countries dynastic loyalty is proof against attacks which in other lands have been power as a result of unfortunate domestic events. No doubt the blow to the Saxon people will be a severe one. Last June they lost their aged King Albert, who was succeeded by his brother of seventy. All his hopes for the future were centered in the princely couple now so rudely severed.” The future of the family is a gloomy one, infers the French daily, which had not been apprised, when it thus commented, of the rumor that the Crown Prince may forgive his unfortunate wife and restore her to throne and home.

The Literary Digest, January 17, 1903

[andromeda612]

Renga Fantasy AU

I've seen lost of fantasy Au's with Langa being the prince and Reki either the cute gardener, the adorable captain of the army, or any other common role that will be the prince's love interest... but what about Prince Reki?

I can see it like this:

Joe is the head of the cook and Reki's paternal figure number #1.

Cherry is the first advisor of the royal family and Reki's paternal figure #2.

Shadow is a guard and probably Reki's main bodyguard, he acts like he is annoyed by Reki's too energic and loud personality but in reality he is a big softie and has a weakness for the young and gentle prince, he is Reki's older sibling figure.

Miya is the son of a noble family, probably training for either being court sorcerer or knight, he is Reki's closest friend despite being younger, he sees Reki as his old brother and is very protective of him because in his opinion (and in everybody else's opinion for that matter) the redhead is too nice for his own good and someone needs to take care of him for god's sake! Of course he will deny it for ever and still be the tsundere he is.

Langa can be the son of a merchant and a doctor from another kingdom, after his dad dies his mother decides to go back to her home in the Kyan's kingdom (Okinawa), because of her reputation as a good doctor she gets a job in the palace as court physician. Langa stays with her at the palace and he could be either training for knight, physician or maybe sorcerer too but he hasn't decided yet, or even training for advisor under Cherry's wing. For the time being he just study with Reki.

Now in this au's Prince Langa main trouble is he feeling lonely or incomplete, Reki being the sun he is complement him and his trouble is of course his self confidence, I want to keep it that way even if Reki is the prince now.

So Langa feel not sad anymore but definitely off since his dad died, he used to love traveling with him, try new things, he loved the most all the things he could learn from the items he got to sell, he wanted to be a merchant like him but now he is not sure anymore, that's why that for now he is just studying along with the prince as he decides what he want to do with his life, he is not unhappy but he can't help but feel there is something missing, that's it until he meets the ray of sunshine that is Prince Reki, the royal is gentle and unlike other royal member he has met (due both if his parents jobs) he doesn't treat the rest with superiority, he traits everyone the same, with kindness, a warm and genuine smile, he actually doesn't act like how he was taught princes are supposed to act, he is loud and very energetic, he is polite and all, but he doesn't emanate an aura of someone to be afraid off or someone you feel intimidate with, he makes you feel like you are with a friend, he will talk and talk enthusiastically to no end... unless you show him you were bored, which was not rare to happen, with the prince being too kind and easygoing is was easy for others to forget he was the prince. But Langa could hear him for hours and never get bored, Reki showed him the palace and different places of the kingdom, he show him his drawings, all his crafts, the prince was incredible with smithy, he designed most of the best warriors' armors, as well as some of the innovative artifacts that helped so much in the kingdom, he showed him his passion for his realm and his passion for his hobbies, he was amazing... it's such a shame the prince is not capable to see it himself.

Reki for his part, he is the genius, creative sunshine we know. He is energetic and almost all the people loves him. Almost, because there is still the royal and nobles assholes that think he won't be a proper ruler because of his personality. As well as the people that get fed up with his energy. Those all are the people less liked in the kingdom. Though is really a trouble that the royal ones hold such power, because they really chose violence when it comes to Reki's self confidence. Especially because the most deep root for his insecurities comes from no other than his passed away father.

The king was... not a good man, the kingdom was not in ruins but the people were not happy, his family was not either, he would lash out to his wife and daughters, telling them they were good just to show of, to serve him, he was abusive with this staff on the palace and to his people, but who got the worst treatment was the young prince, since a child Reki was unquiet, loud, energic, totally the opposite to a centered, reserved and serious prince, he was also too kind with everyone no matter how much he told him he was above all the people, but Reki refused to be rude or mean to anyone, the only people that he lashed out to were the rude and cruel royals that abused of their power and were mean to people with no status or power. The king ruled with an iron fist and with stronger severity he tried to rise his heir, but Reki's golden heart was always stronger, however it didn't protected him from the abuse, the hard punishments and the constant reminders of how a failure he was, how he was worthless, how he was a mistake, how easy it would be for him to replace him if not were for the fact he needed a boy of royal blood to be his heir and he had no one, how annoying he was, that there was something wrong with him. And all the people that thought the same as his father had no seconds thoughts to remind him of the same in every. Single. Opportunity.

It was such a relief when the king died from a mysterious illness, and if anyone ever thought about it as a coup from the queen and the royal staff? Well nobody blamed them, but that was just a rumor and they were fine without him anyways.

Indeed, after the king's death the Kingdome went through a prosperity that haven't been seen in years. Despite what the king and his lackyes believed the Queen was actually a very well skilled ruler, she fixed the mess her former husband made and bring a new era to her people, she made new allies, she cleaned the corrupted government and brought new opportunities to the kingdom of Okinawa, the people were happy again. And her son, his ideas for artifacts to make certain tasks easier, his enthusiasm about cultural development, not mention that despite what his father said Reki was really smart, a total pride for his tutors even if his chaotic nature gave them green hairs, also his ideas to improve the army of the Kingdome, his ideas helped a lot to their realm's development. Many people called him the inventor prince.

However there were some royal asses that were not happy with him, there were invertors for that, there were artists, musicians, artisans for the cultural things, a prince shouldn't be look being so friendly and informal to commoners, shouldn't be so loud and idiot.

Not to mention the people that just... were fed up with his chit chat, and okay, they get it, Reki's personality could be overwhelming and even obnoxious to some people, but they needed to be so rude about it? The fact that must of this people were royal visitors didn´t help at all, Reki just felt he was embarrassing his mother and the Kingdome, no matter how many time she and the royal advisor Kaoru told him otherwise, or the fact that those people were usually not good allies at all.

Years of abuse and constantly hearing how a waste you were are hard to heal.

But, the love and support of the people that truly loved him helped Reki a lot, it was a long path but he was getting there. Though, the person that were really close to him, and you know who these persons are, know that sometimes the thoughts gets too loud on Reki's head, but they are there for him, and are happy to see that everyday the sunshine prince is doing better and better.

Well, and then of course the boys met and all of that, they help each other to find what was missing, to discover how much loved and worth they are.

The Queen and the court physician ship them, because this is my fucking au and I say love is love, you are who you are, no labels :)

Kaoru, Kojiro, Miya and Hiromi are definitely fondly exasperate with their mutual pining and just want them to just kiss already and spare their poor souls out of their misery.

About Ad*m... I don't know yet honestly.

In one hand I'm so tempted to make him not existing in this au. On the other hand he could be a major villain, maybe a lord wanting to make coup to the kingdome with Tadashi being a spy loyal to Queen Kyan. And I really want Langa to beat the shit out if him for messing up with his sun, but well, idk.

Any thoughts about this? Feel free to ask! 👀

[josefavomjaaga]

Woman in White, by Giuseppe Bossi. Assumed to be a study for a painting of Auguste, vice-queen of Italy, daughter of King Max Joseph of Bavaria and wife of Eugène de Beauharnais

~

Can we take a quick break in Murat's story to see what was going on with Eugène in the meantime? After all, Austria's search for allies within Napoleon's family was not limited to Naples.

To an outsider, in fact, Eugène must have seemed like the first suspect when it came to who would most likely break away from Napoleon. After all, Napoleon had treated Eugène's mother rather shamefully, and Eugène had himself been deprived of an inheritance that had been promised to him by his adoptive father, the crown of the Kingdom of Italy. Moreover, his father-in-law Max Joseph, King of Bavaria, had sided with the Allies since October 1813. The fact Max Joseph and Eugène were very close personally was no secret to anyone and is also evident from their correspondence, still cordial despite circumstances, in which they both expressed their regret at now being in enemy camps and having to break off contact (which they probably never truly did completely).

Max Joseph informed his "bien-aimé fils" and "bien cher ami" Eugène on 8 October 1813 that he was unfortunately obliged to jump ship. After a detailed and very lengthy justification for this step, he observes:

Je crois avoir remarqué à cette occasion, avec assez de certitude pour me croire fondé à vous le dire, que les Autrichiens ne seraient pas éloignés de se prêter, du côté de l'Italie, à un armistice sur le pied de la ligne du Tagliamento. C'est votre père, et non le roi, qui vous dit ceci, persuadé que vous saurez allier vos intérêts avec ce que vous devez à l'honneur et à vos devoirs.

I seem to have noticed on this occasion, with enough certainty to consider myself justified of telling you, that the Austrians would not be reluctant to consent, on the Italian side, to an armistice on the basis of the line of the Tagliamento. It is your father, and not the king, who is telling you this, convinced that you will be able to align your interests with what you owe to honour and to your duties.

The letter ends:

J'espère, mon cher Eugène, que nous n'en serons pas moins attachés l'un à l'autre, et que je serai peut-être à même de vous prouver par des faits que ma tendre amitié pour vous est toujours la même. Elle durera autant que moi. Je vous embrasse un million de fois en idée. La reine vous embrasse.

I hope, my dear Eugène, that we shall be no less attached to each other, and that I shall perhaps be able to prove to you by deeds that my fond affection for you is still the same. It will last as long as I do. I embrace you a million times in thought. The queen embraces you.

Hey, sure. Just because we are about to shoot at each other doesn’t mean we can’t still be friends, right? Eugène answers this letter on October 15, 1813:

Mon bon père,

je reçois à l'instant votre lettre du 8 courant. Votre cœur sentira facilement tout ce que le mien a dû souffrir en la lisant. Encore si je ne souffrais que pour moi ! mais je tremble pour la santé de ma pauvre Auguste, lorsqu'elle sera informée du parti que vous vous êtes cru obligé de prendre. Quant à moi, mon bon père, quel que soit le sort que le ciel me réserve, heureux ou malheureux, j'ose vous l'assurer, je serai toujours digne de vous appartenir, je mériterai la conservation des sentiments d'estime et de tendresse dont vous m'avez donné tant de preuves. Vous me connaissez assez, j'en suis sûr, pour être convaincu que, dans celle pénible circonstance, je ne m'écarterai pas un instant de la ligne de l'honneur ni de mes devoirs; je le sais, c'est en me conduisant ainsi que je suis certain de trouver toujours en vous pour moi, pour votre chère Auguste, pour vos petits-enfants, un père et un ami. Le hasard m'a offert une occasion de faire pressentir le général Hiller sur un arrangement tacite par lequel nous demeurerions, lui et moi, dans les positions que nous occupons, c'est-à-dire sur les deux rives de l'Isonzo; je ne sais ce qu'il répondra, mais vous le sentirez, je ne puis faire au delà. Si cette première proposition est jugée insuffisante, si la fortune m'est à l'avenir aussi contraire qu'elle m'a été favorable jusqu'à présent, je regretterai toute ma vie qu'Auguste et ses enfants n'aient pas reçu de moi tout le bonheur que j'aurais voulu leur assurer, mais ma conscience sera pure, et je laisserai pour héritage à mes enfants une mémoire sans tache. Je ne sais, mon bon père, ce que votre nouvelle position vous rendra possible. Je ne vous recommande pas votre gendre, mais je croirais manquer à mes premiers devoirs si je ne vous disais pas: Sire, n'oubliez ni votre fille ni vos petits-enfants.

*

My good father,

I have just received your letter of the 8th. Your heart will easily perceive how much mine has suffered in reading it. If only I were suffering for myself! But I fear for the health of my poor Auguste, when she is informed of the course you felt obliged to take.

As for me, my good father, whatever fate heaven has in store for me, be it happy or unhappy, I dare to assure you, I will always be worthy of belonging to you, I will merit to preserve the feelings of esteem and tenderness of which you have given me so many proofs.

You know me well enough, I am sure, to be convinced that in this distressing circumstance I will not deviate for a moment from the line of honour or of my duties; I know that it is by behaving in this way that I am certain to always find in you, for me, for your dear Auguste, for your grandchildren, a father and a friend.

Chance has given me an opportunity to make General Hiller aware of a tacit arrangement by which he and I would remain in the positions we occupy, that is to say, on both banks of the Isonzo; I do not know what his answer will be, but you will feel that I cannot go beyond it. If this first proposal is judged insufficient, if fortune is in the future as contrary to me as it has been favourable to me up to now, I will regret all my life that Auguste and her children did not receive from me all the happiness I would have liked to ensure for them, but my conscience will be pure, and I will leave my children an unblemished memory as their legacy.

I do not know, my good father, what your new position will make possible for you. I do not recommend your son-in-law to you, but I feel that I would be failing in my first duty if I did not say to you: Sire, do not forget your daughter or your grandchildren.

**

Just in case somebody wondered, Eugène to my knowledge not once dares to adress Napoleon – his step father and adoptive father -  as »mon père« in a letter. It’s always »Sire« and »Your Majesty« with Napoleon, »mon bon père« and »mon cher père« with Max Joseph.

On a sidenote: Max Joseph felt too embarrassed to inform his daughter about this change of circumstances himself. So instead of writing directly to Auguste, he wrote to her old governess, who had accompanied Auguste to Italy, and asked her to tell the vice-queen.

He knew why, as the reply he received from Auguste sounds a little less understanding than Eugène’s. It’s dated Oktober 17:

My good father,

Eugène has just communicated to me the distressing news that you are against us! You have to understand how my heart feels! To have other interests than yours is dreadful for your daughter who has given you ample proof of her tenderness and obedience to you.

By this, of course, Auguste is alluding to the circumstances of her marriage, which her father, if not forced, then at least had morally blackmailed her into. What she means is: “Hey, you pushed me into marrying this Frenchman back then, just so you could enter into an alliance with France and get yourself a royal crown! And now you are going to leave us hanging? Why, thank you very much!”

Perhaps you have forgotten this; but, in whatever situation I find myself, I will never regret what I have done; my conscience is without reproach, and I would bear with more courage all the misfortunes that come my way if I had not four poor children and soon a fifth to think about. It is for them that I beg your kindness; they are the children of your Auguste, whom you once appeared to love. You would be in a position to demand a future for them. I almost regret having given birth to them; they have nothing in the world but the tenderness of their father and mother!

Eugène, the best of husbands, is afflicted only because of us. He even regrets being my husband, being their father. This says it all. His tenderness is my only happiness; he will never lose mine, I will follow him everywhere, confident that he will never stray from the path of virtue and honour.

Because, let’s face it, he’s stupid like that.

This is the last letter you will receive from your daughter. My duty imposes silence on me as it has prescribed me to think of the fate of my children.

Once again I commend them to you, do not forget them. I count on your paternal tenderness, which politics has not been able to erase from your heart, just as nothing will ever make me forget the respect which your loving daughter owes you, my good father.

**

Both Eugène and Auguste also immediately informed Napoleon of these news (who in the meantime also had gotten a direct letter from Max Joseph) and assured the French emperor that they would of course remain loyally by his side and had broken off all communication with Bavaria. But in Frankfurt, among the Allies, Max Joseph seems to have brought up his daughter and son-in-law quite openly and frequently, speaking in their favour and trying to secure their fate in case Napoleon’s empire really fell. German newspapers speculated pointedly about the possibility that both Murat and Eugène might defect from Napoleon’s side. On October 24 Hortense already tells Eugène in a letter:

»It is said in Paris that the King of Bavaria wrote to you to offer you the kingdom of Italy, but that you refused: you see that people know you and that they can always predict what you would do if you found yourself in such a position.«

That is three weeks before such a proposal actually was made – obviously suspicions in Paris were high. I assume when Fouché visits Murat in Naples in December 1813 to make sure Murat stays on the right path, it’s no coincidence he also shows up in Milan.

[moonlit-ocs]

OC Bio: DC Comics (Main Continuity)

Name: Leila Wayne-al Ghūl

Name Meaning: Leila (ليلى): Arabic name meaning "night." Said to sometimes be given to children born during the night.

Nickname(s): Lei, Leila Wayne, Leila al Ghūl, Dee, Sunshine,

Alias(es): Demonspawn, Ghoul

Occupation: Vigilante, Wayne Enterprises Intern, Former Assassin

Alignment: ISTJ-A/Chaotic Neutral

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Bisexual

Age/Birthday: 19 (9 years older than Damian)/November 12

Height: 5’7”

Hair Color/Type/Length: Dark Brown/Wavy/Mid-Back

Eye Color: Green

Body Markings: line scar beneath left eye, round scar on front and back of shoulder, bullet scar on left thigh, faded burns on right forearm, several faded scars from training/combat,

Family: Bruce Wayne (Father), Talia al Ghūl (Mother), Ra’s al Ghūl (Maternal Grandfather), Martha and Thomas Wayne (Paternal Grandparents), Damian Wayne (Brother), Dick Grayson (Adoptive Brother), Jason Todd (Adoptive Brother), Tim Drake (Adoptive Brother), Nyssa Raatko (Half-Aunt), Cassandra Cain (Adoptive Sister), Kate Kane (Second Cousin), Alfred Pennyworth (Adoptive Grandfather)

Love Interest(s): N/A

Birthplace: Nanda Parbat

Languages: Arabic, English, Russian, Mandarin, Spanish, French

Skills/Powers: Skilled marksman, swordsman, spy, Master martial artist, hand-to-hand combatant, Near-genius intellect, Expert detective, Utilizes an array of weapons, Fluent in six languages,

Likes: new weapons, found family, frightening people, working out, chocolate, whiskey, motorcycles, knockouts, boxing, punching things, jumping off buildings, the colors black, green, and purple, nicknames and aliases, immaturity

Dislikes: her maternal family, losing people, rich people, social events, the Joker, assassin urges, hypocrisy,

Backstory: Born into the League of Assassins led by her nefarious grandfather, Ra’s al Ghūl, Leila was raised among assassins. Her father, Bruce (aka the Batman), and her mother, Talia, had only just fallen in love. She was trained with the League for years while Bruce operated in Gotham, his daughter occasionally visited his home. Only things didn’t stay very smooth once Bruce rejected Ra’s offer to lead the League. Leila finally saw the error in her family’s ways at age 8 and decided it was time to permanently stay with Bruce, taking up his teachings instead. The al Ghūl’s were unhappy, to say the least. Leila began her training with Bruce, not that she needed much more of it. She was practically a killing machine by the time Bruce had been able to raise her on his own. Lei needed something to channel the aggression before it got out of hand. Swearing off killing (or using is as a last necessity), Leila took up the mantle of Demonspawn, helping patrol her father’s city as a vigilante. Along the way, she had met her first brother, Dick Grayson, who was only a few years older than her. The two grew close over the years, teaming up on dozens of missions together, until him and her father had a falling out and Dick left. He kept in contact with his younger sister, but she still missed him. He was soon replaced with Jason Todd, who was only a few months younger than she was. A new sibling. The two got along wonderfully since their personalities were so similar, but all good things must come to an end. Jason was killed by the Joker some years later, breaking Leila’s heart. She nearly lost her way and went after the Joker herself, only to be talked down by Alfred Pennyworth, somewhat of a grandfather to her. Soon, Tim Drake was recruited to become the next Robin, much to Leila’s dismay. She believed that replacing Jason was disrespectful, but Tim managed to prove himself sooner or later and Leila finally accepted him as a brother. During her time as Demonspawn, she had a few run-ins with her maternal family, not all were pleasant. Her mother had attempted to kidnap her several times, but to no avail. Ra’s even made an appearance in Gotham, claiming that if she wouldn’t join the League, he would defeat her. Leila and her grandfather were near equals in battle, so the fight was a draw and Leila retreated to avoid any further conflict. She did visit the League of Assassins base several times of her own free will, trying to rekindle a peaceful relationship between blood. But the al Ghūl’s don’t compromise. Leila returned to Gotham to continue her life as a Wayne heir and vigilante, tending to several matters at Wayne Enterprises and making some public appearances as Leila Wayne, the famous daughter of a billionaire, consistently in the spotlight. Another Robin made a short appearance before she rebranded herself as Spoiler. The position was empty for a long while before a major bombshell landed on the Wayne family. She had a biological brother, Damian, who her mother had kept a secret for over a decade. He himself was a demon, being raised solely in the League. Bruce and her managed to turn him around with some intense efforts, but he finally came around and honestly, Damian grew on her. Leila and him had their disagreements from time to time, but they came from the same messed-up place, they understood each other better than most.

Faceclaim: Mika Abdalla

[moretreasurewithinarchive]

About Beth’s Death

Because I’m an idiot, and was too excited to write Beth and John before I finished re-reading the book, like I originally planned, I made a pretty big mistake about Beth’s age when she died, and when she died. This is just to clear that up and point out some things in regard to Beth’s death and how the Marches, Brookes, and Laurences handle it.

Though, of course, I still haven’t finished it yet, so I may have to edit this later as well. 

First of all, when Beth and Jo went to the sea, and Beth told her she was dying, she was 19, as Jo tells her “nineteen is too young”. I’ve seen alternating things that this was in the fall of 1869 or the spring just before before she died; 

“When Jo came home that spring, she had been struck with the change in Beth. No one spoke of it or seemed aware of it, for it had come too gradually to startle those who saw her daily, but to eyes sharpened by absence, it was very plain and a heavy weight fell on Jo's heart as she saw her sister's face. It was no paler and but littler thinner than in the autumn, yet there was a strange, transparent look about it, as if the mortal was being slowly refined away, and the immortal shining through the frail flesh with an indescribably pathetic beauty. Jo saw and felt it, but said nothing at the time, and soon the first impression lost much of its power, for Beth seemed happy, no one appeared to doubt that she was better, and presently in other cares Jo for a time forgot her fear.” 

“ "Is this what made you so unhappy in the autumn, Beth? You did not feel it then, and keep it to yourself so long, did you?" asked Jo, refusing to see or say that it was best, but glad to know that Laurie had no part in Beth's trouble.”

Furthermore, we learn this chapter, that Amy will be coming home soon: 

“  "She is coming in the spring, and I mean that you shall be all ready to see and enjoy her. I'm going to have you well and rosy by that time," began Jo, feeling that of all the changes in Beth, the talking change was the greatest, for it seemed to cost no effort now, and she thought aloud in a way quite unlike bashful Beth.” 

So while it is unclear the exact time of this trip to the sea, we know it’s less than a year before Amy comes home. 3 to 6 months at the most. The chapter where Amy and Laurie reunite in France seems to support the Fall of 1869 theory. 

“Along this walk, on Christmas Day, a tall young man walked slowly, with his hands behind him, and a somewhat absent expression of countenance. He looked like an Italian, was dressed like an Englishman, and had the independent air of an American––a combination which caused sundry pairs of feminine eyes to look approvingly after him, and sundry dandies in black velvet suits, with rose–colored neckties, buff gloves, and orange flowers in their buttonholes, to shrug their shoulders, and then envy him his inches. There were plenty of pretty faces to admire, but the young man took little notice of them, except to glance now and then at some blonde girl in blue. Presently he strolled out of the promenade and stood a moment at the crossing, as if undecided whether to go and listen to the band in the Jardin Publique, or to wander along the beach toward Castle Hill. The quick trot of ponies' feet made him look up, as one of the little carriages, containing a single young lady, came rapidly down the street. The lady was young, blonde, and dressed in blue. He stared a minute, then his whole face woke up, and, waving his hat like a boy, he hurried forward to meet her.”

As does chapter 40, 

“The first few months were very happy ones, and Beth often used to look round, and say "How beautiful this is!" as they all sat together in her sunny room, the babies kicking and crowing on the floor, mother and sisters working near, and father reading, in his pleasant voice, from the wise old books which seemed rich in good and comfortable words, as applicable now as when written centuries ago, a little chapel, where a paternal priest taught his flock the hard lessons all must learn, trying to show them that hope can comfort love, and faith make resignation possible. Simple sermons, that went straight to the souls of those who listened, for the father's heart was in the minister's religion, and the frequent falter in the voice gave a double eloquence to the words he spoke or read.”

But the beginning of chapter 40 seems to indicate that the trip may have been in spring of 1869 and Beth’s death in Spring of 1870.

“When the first bitterness was over, the family accepted the inevitable, and tried to bear it cheerfully, helping one another by the increased affection which comes to bind households tenderly together in times of trouble. They put away their grief, and each did his or her part toward making that last year a happy one.”

Everything that I’ve found, timeline wise, seems to indicate that Beth dies in Spring of 1870. The season, at the least, is supported in Chapter 38, when we learn that the twins have turned or are approaching their first birthday. And if I remember correctly, Daisy and Demi were born on or around Midsummer.

“Not being a belle or even a fashionable lady, Meg did not experience this affliction till her babies were a year old, for in her little world primitive customs prevailed, and she found herself more admired and beloved than ever.”

Then, in Chapter 40, when Beth actually dies, we see 

“So the spring days came and went, the sky grew clearer, the earth greener, the flowers were up fairly early, and the birds came back in time to say goodbye to Beth, who, like a tired but trustful child, clung to the hands that had led her all her life, as Father and Mother guided her tenderly through the Valley of the Shadow, and gave her up to God.”

Now, as to Amy not being told about Beth’s illness and death. It is true that she was told to stay in Europe; at first. However, the Marches didn’t keep her totally in the dark, as she says to Laurie in France, 

“ "Beth is very poorly, Mother says. I often think I ought to go home, but they all say 'stay'. So I do, for I shall never have another chance like this," said Amy, looking sober over one page.” 

Then, we see in Chapter 41, 

“Leaving his sentence unfinished, he seized pen and paper and wrote to Jo, telling her that he could not settle to anything while there was the least hope of her changing her mind. Couldn't she, wouldn't she––and let him come home and be happy? While waiting for an answer he did nothing, but he did it energetically, for he was in a fever of impatience. It came at last, and settled his mind effectually on one point, for Jo decidedly couldn't and wouldn't. She was wrapped up in Beth, and never wished to hear the word love again. Then she begged him to be happy with somebody else, but always keep a little corner of his heart for his loving sister Jo. In a postscript she desired him not to tell Amy that Beth was worse, she was coming home in the spring and there was no need of saddening the remainder of her stay. That would be time enough, please God, but Laurie must write to her often, and not let her feel lonely, homesick or anxious.”

But later in Chapter 41,  we learn later that her family did write to tell her Beth was dying. But she never got the letter because she and the Carrolls had left France then due to the heat. 

“While these changes were going on abroad, trouble had come at home. But the letter telling that Beth was failing never reached Amy, and when the next found her at Vevay, for the heat had driven them from Nice in May, and they had travelled slowly to Switzerland, by way of Genoa and the Italian lakes. She bore it very well, and quietly submitted to the family decree that she should not shorten her visit, for since it was too late to say goodbye to Beth, she had better stay, and let absence soften her sorrow. But her heart was very heavy, she longed to be at home, and every day looked wistfully across the lake, waiting for Laurie to come and comfort her. He did come very soon, for the same mail brought letters to them both, but he was in Germany, and it took some days to reach him. The moment he read it, he packed his knapsack, bade adieu to his fellow pedestrians, and was off to keep his promise, with a heart full of joy and sorrow, hope and suspense.”

To me, this seems to indicate that the probable time frame for Beth’s death was April to May of 1870. And here, in the timeline, we see that Laurie proposes to Amy in June of 1870, so Beth’s death had to be in spring, likely before or around the time Amy and the Carrolls left Nice, France for Vevay, Switzerland. However, the timeline also says that Laurie and Amy don’t return home until after Jo’s birthday in November of 1870. I haven’t gotten that far yet, so I’m not sure. 

Will I forever be angry that we don’t actually get to see James and Laurie, and even John to a certain degree, mourning Beth like we do the Marches? YES.

Though, we do have this little tidbit of John from chapter 40 that I LOVE. 

“John quietly set apart a little sum, that he might enjoy the pleasure of keeping the invalid supplied with the fruit she loved and longed for.”

Now, Beth’s actual cause of death. We know that she got Scarlet Fever when she was 13 or 14, that it nearly killed her, and she never really recovered. And we know that lingering effects of the fever weakened and killed her. The book, however, never says how she died. And this was true of Lizzie Alcott as well. I’ve seen articles speculating that Beth had an eating disorder, which I don’t think was true at all. She was a peckish eater throughout the novel, stopping mid meal if she got emotional or excited, and she ate even less when she was ill, because she had no appetite. This article I found last night, however gives what seems to me to be a better reason for her death.

“It’s an illness that comes from the bacteria Group A strep, the same strain of bacteria that causes strep throat. The infection tends to breed in the nose and throat, and easily can be spread from person to person through coughing. It's called scarlet fever because it's characterized by a red, sore throat; a strawberry-colored, bumpy tongue; a sandpapery skin rash; and, of course, a fever, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention outlines...  Lizzie Alcott recovered from her affliction like Beth, but it weakened her heart... But we ultimately find out find out Beth's system has been weakened for good. Years go by, the sisters grow up — Meg gets married and has children, Jo is living and working in New York, the youngest sibling Amy (Florence Pugh) is in Paris working on her art — and Beth gets really sick again. This time, she's suffering from the fever’s complications... As I learned from my deep dive into the CDC's website, complications are uncommon these days, but they can happen if the group A strep bacteria spreads to parts of the body other than the throat and nose. That can lead to long-term health problems, including: tonsil infections, chronic problems in the sinuses and ears, vulnerability to pneumonia, rheumatic fever (a type of heart disease), and a kidney disease called post-streptococcal glomerulonephritis. The movie doesn’t specify which of these happen to Beth, but the book (and Alcott's history) points to severe rheumatic heart disease.“

The article, of course, focuses on the new movie that came out on Christmas with Emma Watson, Saoirse Ronan, Eliza Scanlen, and Florence Pugh as the sisters. But I feel it fits Beth in all versions. So I would say that her main cause of death was Rheumatic heart disease, and possibly the Post-Streptococcal Glomerulonephritis of the kidney as a contributing factor, maybe even Pneumonia, since she still coughs. 

Finally, Beth’s reaction to her impending death. In the book, we have the following quotes:

From chapter 36

- “They did feel it, yet neither spoke of it, for often between ourselves and those nearest and dearest to us there exists a reserve which it is very hard to overcome. Jo felt as if a veil had fallen between her heart and Beth's, but when she put out her hand to lift it up, there seemed something sacred in the silence, and she waited for Beth to speak. She wondered, and was thankful also, that her parents did not seem to see what she saw, and during the quiet weeks when the shadows grew so plain to her, she said nothing of it to those at home, believing that it would tell itself when Beth came back no better. She wondered still more if her sister really guessed the hard truth, and what thoughts were passing through her mind during the long hours when she lay on the warm rocks with her head in Jo's lap, while the winds blew healthfully over her and the sea made music at her feet.”

- “One day Beth told her. Jo thought she was asleep, she lay so still, and putting down her book, sat looking at her with wistful eyes, trying to see signs of hope in the faint color on Beth's cheeks. But she could not find enough to satisfy her, for the cheeks were very thin, and the hands seemed too feeble to hold even the rosy little shells they had been collecting. It came to her then more bitterly than ever that Beth was slowly drifting away from her, and her arms instinctively tightened their hold upon the dearest treasure she possessed. For a minute her eyes were too dim for seeing, and when they cleared, Beth was looking up at her so tenderly that there was hardly any need for her to say, "Jo, dear, I'm glad you know it. I've tried to tell you, but I couldn't." “

- “There was no answer except her sister's cheek against her own, not even tears, for when most deeply moved, Jo did not cry. She was the weaker then, and Beth tried to comfort and sustain her, with her arms about her and the soothing words she whispered in her ear."I've known it for a good while, dear, and now I'm used to it, it isn't hard to think of or to bear. Try to see it so and don't be troubled about me, because it's best, indeed it is.""Is this what made you so unhappy in the autumn, Beth? You did not feel it then, and keep it to yourself so long, did you?" asked Jo, refusing to see or say that it was best, but glad to know that Laurie had no part in Beth's trouble."Yes, I gave up hoping then, but I didn't like to own it. I tried to think it was a sick fancy, and would not let it trouble anyone. But when I saw you all so well and strong and full of happy plans, it was hard to feel that I could never be like you, and then I was miserable, Jo.""Oh, Beth, and you didn't tell me, didn't let me comfort and help you? How could you shut me out, bear it all alone?"Jo's voice was full of tender reproach, and her heart ached to think of the solitary struggle that must have gone on while Beth learned to say goodbye to health, love, and life, and take up her cross so cheerfully."Perhaps it was wrong, but I tried to do right. I wasn't sure, no one said anything, and I hoped I was mistaken. It would have been selfish to frighten you all when Marmee was so anxious about Meg, and Amy away, and you so happy with Laurie––at least I thought so then." “

- “ "Not through me," said Jo decidedly. "Amy is left for him, and they would suit excellently, but I have no heart for such things, now. I don't care what becomes of anybody but you, Beth. You must get well.""I want to, oh, so much! I try, but every day I lose a little, and feel more sure that I shall never gain it back. It's like the tide, Jo, when it turns, it goes slowly, but it can't be stopped.""It shall be stopped, your tide must not turn so soon, nineteen is too young, Beth. I can't let you go. I'll work and pray and fight against it. I'll keep you in spite of everything. There must be ways, it can't be too late. God won't be so cruel as to take you from me," cried poor Jo rebelliously, for her spirit was far less piously submissive than Beth's.”

- “Simple, sincere people seldom speak much of their piety. It shows itself in acts rather than in words, and has more influence than homilies or protestations. Beth could not reason upon or explain the faith that gave her courage and patience to give up life, and cheerfully wait for death. Like a confiding child, she asked no questions, but left everything to God and nature, Father and Mother of us all, feeling sure that they, and they only, could teach and strengthen heart and spirit for this life and the life to come. She did not rebuke Jo with saintly speeches, only loved her better for her passionate affection, and clung more closely to the dear human love, from which our Father never means us to be weaned, but through which He draws us closer to Himself. She could not say, "I'm glad to go," for life was very sweet for her. She could only sob out, "I try to be willing," while she held fast to Jo, as the first bitter wave of this great sorrow broke over them together.”

- “Beth lay a minute thinking, and then said in her quiet way, "I don't know how to express myself, and shouldn't try to anyone but you, because I can't speak out except to my Jo. I only mean to say that I have a feeling that it never was intended I should live long. I'm not like the rest of you. I never made any plans about what I'd do when I grew up. I never thought of being married, as you all did. I couldn't seem to imagine myself anything but stupid little Beth, trotting about at home, of no use anywhere but there. I never wanted to go away, and the hard part now is the leaving you all. I'm not afraid, but it seems as if I should be homesick for you even in heaven." “

- “  "Dear little bird! See, Jo, how tame it is. I like peeps better than the gulls. They are not so wild and handsome, but they seem happy, confiding little things. I used to call them my birds last summer, and Mother said they reminded her of me––busy, quaker–colored creatures, always near the shore, and always chirping that contented little song of theirs. You are the gull, Jo, strong and wild, fond of the storm and the wind, flying far out to sea, and happy all alone. Meg is the turtledove, and Amy is like the lark she writes about, trying to get up among the clouds, but always dropping down into its nest again. Dear little girl! She's so ambitious, but her heart is good and tender, and no matter how high she flies, she never will forget home. I hope I shall see her again, but she seems so far away." “

- “ "She is coming in the spring, and I mean that you shall be all ready to see and enjoy her. I'm going to have you well and rosy by that time," began Jo, feeling that of all the changes in Beth, the talking change was the greatest, for it seemed to cost no effort now, and she thought aloud in a way quite unlike bashful Beth."Jo, dear, don't hope any more. It won't do any good. I'm sure of that. We won't be miserable, but enjoy being together while we wait. We'll have happy times, for I don't suffer much, and I think the tide will go out easily, if you help me." “

And from Chapter 40 

- “Here, cherished like a household saint in its shrine, sat Beth, tranquil and busy as ever, for nothing could change the sweet, unselfish nature, and even while preparing to leave life, she tried to make it happier for those who should remain behind. The feeble fingers were never idle, and one of her pleasures was to make little things for the school children daily passing to and fro, to drop a pair of mittens from her window for a pair of purple hands, a needlebook for some small mother of many dolls, penwipers for young penmen toiling through forests of pothooks, scrapbooks for picture–loving eyes, and all manner of pleasant devices, till the reluctant climbers of the ladder of learning found their way strewn with flowers, as it were, and came to regard the gentle giver as a sort of fairy godmother, who sat above there, and showered down gifts miraculously suited to their tastes and needs. If Beth had wanted any reward, she found it in the bright little faces always turned up to her window, with nods and smiles, and the droll little letters which came to her, full of blots and gratitude.”

- “It was well for all that this peaceful time was given them as preparation for the sad hours to come, for by–and–by, Beth said the needle was 'so heavy', and put it down forever. Talking wearied her, faces troubled her, pain claimed her for its own, and her tranquil spirit was sorrowfully perturbed by the ills that vexed her feeble flesh. Ah me! Such heavy days, such long, long nights, such aching hearts and imploring prayers, when those who loved her best were forced to see the thin hands stretched out to them beseechingly, to hear the bitter cry, "Help me, help me!" and to feel that there was no help. A sad eclipse of the serene soul, a sharp struggle of the young life with death, but both were mercifully brief, and then the natural rebellion over, the old peace returned more beautiful than ever. With the wreck of her frail body, Beth's soul grew strong, and though she said little, those about her felt that she was ready, saw that the first pilgrim called was likewise the fittest, and waited with her on the shore, trying to see the Shining Ones coming to receive her when she crossed the river.”

- “Jo never left her for an hour since Beth had said "I feel stronger when you are here." She slept on a couch in the room, waking often to renew the fire, to feed, lift, or wait upon the patient creature who seldom asked for anything, and 'tried not to be a trouble'. All day she haunted the room, jealous of any other nurse, and prouder of being chosen then than of any honor her life ever brought her. Precious and helpful hours to Jo, for now her heart received the teaching that it needed. Lessons in patience were so sweetly taught her that she could not fail to learn them, charity for all, the lovely spirit that can forgive and truly forget unkindness, the loyalty to duty that makes the hardest easy, and the sincere faith that fears nothing, but trusts undoubtingly. Often when she woke Jo found Beth reading in her well–worn little book, heard her singing softly, to beguile the sleepless night, or saw her lean her face upon her hands, while slow tears dropped through the transparent fingers, and Jo would lie watching her with thoughts too deep for tears, feeling that Beth, in her simple, unselfish way, was trying to wean herself from the dear old life, and fit herself for the life to come, by sacred words of comfort, quiet prayers, and the music she loved so well.”

- “ "Poor Jo! She's fast asleep, so I won't wake her to ask leave. She shows me all her things, and I don't think she'll mind if I look at this", thought Beth, with a glance at her sister, who lay on the rug, with the tongs beside her, ready to wake up the minute the log fell apart.”

- “Blurred and blotted, faulty and feeble as the lines were, they brought a look of inexpressible comfort to Beth's face, for her one regret had been that she had done so little, and this seemed to assure her that her life had not been useless, that her death would not bring the despair she feared. As she sat with the paper folded between her hands, the charred log fell asunder. Jo started up, revived the blaze, and crept to the bedside, hoping Beth slept. "Not asleep, but so happy, dear. See, I found this and read it. I knew you wouldn't care. Have I been all that to you, Jo?" she asked, with wistful, humble earnestness. "Oh, Beth, so much, so much!" and Jo's head went down upon the pillow beside her sister's. "Then I don't feel as if I'd wasted my life. I'm not so good as you make me, but I have tried to do right. And now, when it's too late to begin even to do better, it's such a comfort to know that someone loves me so much, and feels as if I'd helped them." “

- “ "I know it cannot, and I don't fear it any longer, for I'm sure I shall be your Beth still, to love and help you more than ever. You must take my place, Jo, and be everything to Father and Mother when I'm gone. They will turn to you, don't fail them, and if it's hard to work alone, remember that I don't forget you, and that you'll be happier in doing that than writing splendid books or seeing all the world, for love is the only thing that we can carry with us when we go, and it makes the end so easy." “

- “Seldom except in books do the dying utter memorable words, see visions, or depart with beatified countenances, and those who have sped many parting souls know that to most the end comes as naturally and simply as sleep. As Beth had hoped, the 'tide went out easily', and in the dark hour before dawn, on the bosom where she had drawn her first breath, she quietly drew her last, with no farewell but one loving look, one little sigh. With tears and prayers and tender hands, Mother and sisters made her ready for the long sleep that pain would never mar again, seeing with grateful eyes the beautiful serenity that soon replaced the pathetic patience that had wrung their hearts so long, and feeling with reverent joy that to their darling death was a benignant angel, not a phantom full of dread. When morning came, for the first time in many months the fire was out, Jo's place was empty, and the room was very still. But a bird sang blithely on a budding bough, close by, the snowdrops blossomed freshly at the window, and the spring sunshine streamed in like a benediction over the placid face upon the pillow, a face so full of painless peace that those who loved it best smiled through their tears, and thanked God that Beth was well at last.”

Beth knew she was dying and accepted it. She even felt she’d die young. But she didn’t die with perfect, blind trust, and no instances of refusal, denial, or anger. 

[empressaryastark]

oh, I’m so glad I didn’t delete this. A Jon and Arya meta. 

in search of lost homes: jon and arya

Granny

Are you trying to say something to the reader by drilling into us how much Arya and Jon love each other?

George_RR_Martin

“Say something to the reader?” No, I’m just reporting how the characters feel. <g> Of course, everything in the book says something to the reader.

According to GRRM, everything in the books says something to the reader. Yet, the content of novels are ultimately a series of choices by the authors. By reporting what characters feel, readers are given a better understanding of characters. This information gives the readers the knowledge of what characters desire, fear, love, and hate. In essence, these feelings make a character. What influences their decisions? What do their thoughts and decisions say about them as individuals and how they develop? Those are based on the feelings shown in text. And since character feelings are produced by having them react to setting, conflict, and other characters, one can argue that character relationships developed within the text are vital to understanding the nature and growth of characters.

So, what does that mean for a relationship Jon Snow and Arya? Well, a great deal. The heavy ‘reporting’ of their feelings, or their love, tells the readers much about not only their relationship, but about who they are as characters.

From the start of A Game of Thrones, the relationship between Jon and Arya stands apart from the rest of Stark familial relationships. On a purely physical level, readers are told that they are the only children who have inherited their father’s looks. Right there, GRRM clearly and actively singles them out as the different children, the ones who not only have a striking resemblance. This notion is only enforced by the fact they are indeed outsiders within the Stark family. As a bastard, Jon must constantly live in the shadow of his brother, Robb, and feel like an interloper in his own home. For Jon, life as a bastard in Winterfell is a life colored by his social stigma. On the other hand, Arya is not a bastard. Yet, she must contend with the disapproval of her mother, sister, and septa on a regular basis because Arya defies their ideal conventions for a proper lady. That disapproval, along with teasing by Sansa and Jeyne, is what makes Arya feel like an outsider within parts of her own family. However, these outcast experiences are also what bond Jon and Arya to each other in ways that they are not bonded to their other siblings. Based on their shared experiences, Jon and Arya connect on an emotional level that is deeper and closer than the other Stark children relationships.

Of course, that bond does not mean Jon and Arya don’t love their siblings. For the most part, Jon and Arya get along with their other siblings, but there is conflict. For example, Jon and Robb were incredibly close, but that relationship is conflicted by their natural rivalry. Though Jon loves his brother dearly, the pain of their underlying conflict is always an issue for Jon from A Game of Thrones to A Dance with Dragons. Similarly, Arya’s feelings for Sansa are complex and conflicted by the rivalry in their own relationship. In contrast, Jon and Arya are not forced into competition with each other in way, and thus their relationship provides a refuge of unconditional love and the understanding that comes along with shared experience. Their relationship helps build and change their characters as the series go on. From the onset, their relationship tells us that Jon and Arya are two often lonely and misunderstood children eager to find a space where they fit in. They want unreserved affection and acceptance for who they are as individuals. These desires are abundantly clear from their first PoV chapters alone. In Jon I and Arya I, both children are brought to tears by the criticisms of their elders. In both chapters, the children also run away from difficult situations after being singled out by elders. Their search for a refuge ultimately brings them together in Arya I for their first scene together. In fact, that scene is what colors their relationship from the start. Jon is unhappy with the exclusion and scorn he feels as bastard whereas Arya is upset that she is scorned for being true to herself. Yet, even though the two bond over the unfairness of their respective situations, Jon still feels the need to warn Arya of her duties and send her in the right direction. In that sense, Jon, though barely a teenager, takes on a heavier role than just brother for Arya. When it comes to Arya, Jon is almost fatherly in that he feels a heavy responsibility for welfare and actively attempts to guide her in the right direction. Though Jon may have acted that way with his other younger siblings, it is not shown in the text. So, we can only reliably know that Jon takes on the role of guardian with Arya, his “little sister.” This role as guardian is furthered by the fact that Jon has Needle made for Arya before his departure to the Wall. If Jon cannot be there to protect her, then he makes sure he can give her arms before he goes. Later on, Ned will take over the responsibility of having Arya properly trained in sword fighting/water dancing. In that way, Jon’s act of giving Arya the sword can be viewed an act of paternal duty since their own father felt it necessary to have Arya trained in combat.

But what does this early relationship mean for the two characters as they change drastically throughout the series?

The search for a refuge in a world without safety is key to understanding the importance of Jon and Arya’s relationship. Calling back to their beginnings in A Game of Thrones, one can see that the bond between Jon and Arya acts a refuge for them. Once they are forced apart in that book, both children lose that particular safety net. As the novel progresses in conflict, the two find themselves in increasingly dangerous situations. Any hopes for a Starks victory tends to falter once Ned’s head is lopped off. Eventually, the Stark family at large end up entangled in a war against the Lannisters in the south. At the Wall, Jon is confronted by the ominous approach of the Others and White Walkers. Yet, Jon decides to stay with his brothers at the Wall in order to defend the realm after an attempt to escape and join Robb’s army. This particular choice is an important turning point in Jon’s development. When confronted between the choice between love and duty, Jon chooses duty over Robb. As for Arya, her life is drastically turned by Ned’s execution. However, there is a lingering hope that she will return to the Winterfell, and even the Wall.

In A Clash of Kings, Jon and Arya find themselves in unknown, dangerous territories when Arya travels through the war-torn Riverlands and Jon journeys beyond the Wall.  

Jon

He remembered suddenly how he used to muss Arya’s hair. His little stick of a sister. He wondered how she was faring. It made him a little sad to think that he might never muss her hair again.

Arya

She yearned to see her mother again, and Robb and Bran and Rickon … but it was Jon Snow she thought of most. She wished somehow they could come to the Wall before Winterfell, so Jon might muss up her hair and call her “little sister.” She’d tell him, “I missed you,” and he’d say it too at the very same moment, the way they always used to say things together. She would have liked that. She would have liked that better than anything.

In the midst of all the uncertainty and danger in their situations, they both end up thinking of each other. For Arya, her thoughts of Jon are her wish to feel a close connection again. Arya’s longing for a pack is essential to her character, but here she focuses on Jon, the sibling so close to her that they even finish each other’s sentences. On Jon’s part, he wonders about Arya’s welfare, but he also feels sad at the prospect of never mussing her hair, or never seeing her again. In these situations, Arya and Jon once again on another search for a refuge as they did at the start of A Game of Thrones. Still, this is only one example of the almost excessive amount of times the pair think of each other throughout the series.

Arya’s journey to Winterfell, under the protection of being with Night’s Watch recruits, is a clear link to Jon. At one point, she even considers the possibility of convincing Yoren to arrive at the Wall before Winterfell in order to see Jon first. As much as shed would like to go home, she wishes to see Jon first because he is so dear to her. In that sense, Jon is a refuge for Arya. This concept of Jon as a means of shelter and acceptance becomes explicit said in Arya’s arc when she thinks that Jon would love her when no one else would. Despite the terror, emotional and physical, of her journey throughout the hellish Riverlands, Arya knows she will find acceptance with Jon Snow because she feels like his affection for her would never waver unlike her other family members. In a world of uncertainty, Arya is assured that Jon is will assign some order and love in her life. For those reasons, her search for Jon, her refuge, resumes in an active form post-TRW once she asks the captain of the Titan’s Daughter if the ship can take her to the Wall. When all is lost, Arya seeks passage to the Wall and searches for Jon because he is shelter in her mind. However, even after Arya has taken up with the Faceless Men in Braavos after failing in her efforts to get the Titan’s Daughter to make a stop near the Wall, she is still connected to Jon in her story. Indeed, her rescue of Sam, execution of Dareon for deserting the Night’s Watch, her questions about Dareon’s voyage to the Night’s Watch (Note that Arya asks these questions, not Cat), and the information she has collected about Jon’s Hardhome refugees are points in which their storylines intersect within Arya’s arc. In spite of the fact that these two siblings are on two different continents, their stories come closer together in material means rather than be further separated. Though she believes herself to be alone in the world, Arya’s connection to Jon is even stronger than it was in the pre-A Feast for Crows novels.

Similarly, Jon’s connection to Arya becomes more pronounced in the series after A Storm of Swords. Like Arya, Jon abandons any thoughts of returning to his old life in Winterfell once he’s named Lord Commander. Yet, his A Dance with Dragons focuses heavily on the conflict that arises from that decision among others. Specifically, the marriage between Ramsay Bolton and Arya causes Jon significant turmoil. When informed about the between Sansa and Tyrion, Jon does not linger much on the information except to note his surprise at the news of Tyrion killing his father. On the other hand, Jon stews over the prospect of Arya’s marriage to Ramsay. His concern even leads Jon to make a deal with Melisandre and Mance Raydar, two people he would not willingly become entangled with until he had Arya’s welfare to consider. From that point, Jon’s arc begins to take a significant turn as far as love and duty are concerned. While Jon was able to keep his vows rather than go to war for Robb or remain with Ygritte after falling in love with her, Jon goes against his duty as Lord Commander by partaking in the politics of the realm based on no other information but his heart. In total opposition to the advice given to him by Maester Aemon and Jeor Mormont, Jon chooses love and his emotional feelings. This change of heart then goes on to affect his decisions with the Wildlings and sheltering Alys Karstark from her scheming relatives. On his own accord, Jon even helps bring about the marriage between Alys and Sigorn, the magnar of Thenn, thus making a Free Folk-Northern alliance instead of marrying her to one of Stannis’ bannermen. One can certainly see this act as another political decision being informed by love. Unlike other Night’s Watch commanders and Westerosi in general, Jon understood the humanity of the wildlings, and he learned to respect their cultures during his time with the free folk and Ygritte. Also, Alys’ arrival to the Wall as the second Arya proxy in Jon’s A Dance with Dragons arc secured her some shelter and sympathy from Jon. These decisions, among others concerning the Wildlings, are ultimately what bring Jon to his end destination in the novel. After discussing the threatening letter he received from Ramsay with Tormund Giantsbane, Jon makes a decision that finally gives a clear and bold alternative answer to the ‘love versus duty’ question that plagues his overall series narrative. In the end, Jon chooses Arya over the will of the Night’s Watch. To understand his final choice after a book of internal struggle, one has to examine the relationship he was with Arya. This decision is a reversal against the decision he made in A Game of Thrones. Jon chose his new brothers over Robb in the first book, but he chooses Arya over his Night’s Watch men in the fifth book. Both of these siblings were incredibly close and important to Jon, so why does he break his vows for Arya and not Robb? The answer to that comes in his relationship to those siblings. Because of the sibling bond and paternal feelings Jon feels for Arya, he breaks his vows for her. Jon’s choice is natural since it is an extension of the relationship the readers were exposed to in A Game of Thrones. When it comes to Arya, Jon isn’t Lord Commander Snow who makes the cold, hard decisions for the greater good. By choosing to fight Ramsay, Jon doesn’t do what is best for the Wall and his brothers, he does what is best for Arya because he has always loved her differently than his other siblings. His instincts to guard her and dote on her above all the others were illustrated in the Needle scene. Jon not only made certain to see her before he went, but he also only gave Arya a gift that would protect from her harm and approve of her unconventional interests when no one else did. Ultimately, Jon chooses the true, incredibly protective, and unconditional love he has for the little sister, the one person who he knows unconditionally loves and respects him.

Bring her home, Mance. I saved your son from Melisandre, and now I am about to save four thousand of your free folk. You owe me this one little girl.

[hasansonsuzceliktas]

Ancestral Healing

Ancestral Healing is an ancient form of healing and a way to honour and remember all those that have gone before us. It is a way of understanding who we are and where we come from. If we do not have a reference of where we come from, we are metaphorically without roots. This work is like a service to the greater world community, and by working with one person and their family you never quite know how many people the healing actually helps. Whilst this service has ancient roots there is much scientific research being carried out on previous generations and how their lives impact on us today. The scientific name for this study and work is called Psychogenealogy and basically translated it provides a therapeutic framework to free an individual from the negative effects of transgenerational transmission. What is Dynamic Theatre? Dynamic Theatre (DT) was created by Mark Wentworth and Filipe De Moura in 2003. Both share a desire and a passion to make a difference in the world. It is their belief that Dynamic Theatre can be a way to achieve this mission. DT is an "action method" using spontaneous drama to help people understand the underlying issues that run through their lives. What makes Dynamic Theatre unique as an action-method is that when playing a story none of the chosen actors (representatives) know who or what they are representing. By playing “incognito” it enables the actor to connect and become almost like a channel for what Carl Jung would call the collective unconscious. In Dynamic Theatre we allow for the invisible and impossible to become both visible and very possible.  It is a technique that offers hope, inspiration and resolution to the challenges of daily living facing young and old throughout the world today. What is the objective of Ancestral Healing? The objective of ancestral healing is to enable people to live their own life free of the unfinished business of the previous generations. Sometimes people have repeating negative patterns, which they can never seem to be free of, it is only after looking back at the family history do they realise that the root cause maybe in another generation. When we are caught up in these energetic patterns it is sometimes very difficult to see or know what is happening to us. Through Dynamic Theatre we can bring to light these hidden patterns giving the person an opportunity to heal themselves and their ancestors. This type of work also brings out in people a deep sense of compassion and understanding of how it must have been to live this other person’s life. We find that it is not just the individual who benefits from this work but also everyone in the family receives some kind of healing. There is, if you like, a deeper sense of harmony within the family system. Ancestral healing is not just about family; it also offers the opportunity for people to begin to heal the wounds of history of a country and a culture. There are many conferences and workshops happening around the world with the specific goal of bringing people together to heal the unfinished business of the previous generations. For example, recently in Rwanda there has been a conference to bring together people whose purpose is to bring peace to all those who were slaughtered in the 1990’s genocide. The objective is to bring peace to the lost and wandering souls whose lives ended in such a brutal and horrifying manner.  By using different forms of creative expressive arts such as art, drama, ritual theatre and storytelling the participants re-told the events of that tragic time allowing the anger, the fear, the deep sadness and the rivers of tears of those who died to pass through them. By allowing these emotions to be expressed the people attending the conference were contributing to the healing of these lost souls, and to make sure that this part of Rwandan history is never repeated. The objective and importance of this work is multi-layered, if we want peace in the world then we need to start by looking back to our ancestors. What is the importance of ancestral healing? We all have stories to tell about who we are and how we came to be here. If we don't know where we are in our story we lose our sense of focus and belonging. As individuals we all have a life story but our families have stories to. How many times have you heard how your grandmother met your grandfather or how great Uncle George set out on an adventure to save his family from poverty? It is these stories of heroism and love that inspire us, but what about the stories of loss and tremendous suffering? What if Uncle George did set out on an adventure to save his family from poverty but he died of pneumonia on his way home, or he set out on his journey and no one ever heard of Uncle George again. It is all these stories that flow down the generations to impact on us today, it is these stories that shape us physically, mentally and emotionally. 75% of our presenting physical, emotional, mental and spiritual issues can be connected with ancestral influence. That leaves only 25% for our own personal history. This is how important ancestral healing is. Psychogenealogical researchers are now suggesting that the more we become conscious of family history the more we free the future generations and ourselves. Don’t let your ancestors’ biographies become your own biology. What are the benefits of Ancestral Healing? The benefits of ancestral healing are that as we heal and free our ancestors from their unfinished business, we free ourselves from the unconscious need of repeating those patterns. We are then able to connect with a support system that wants nothing more than our complete 100% happiness. Imagine a football stadium full of people encouraging and supporting you to live your own best life, imagine that same football stadium with all those people loving you for you, not wanting to change anything about you. Somewhere back in time someone hoped and prayed that one day someone just like you would be born, we are the conscious creation of our ancestors; we are the answer to their prayers. Once we heal the unhappy ancestors we find that life flows much easier, we feel an inner strength and support that maybe we didn’t recognise before. A good metaphor would be once we heal our ancestors it is as if we upgrade from a slow speed Internet connection to a lightening speed connection, allowing us full access to the world wide web of ancestral wisdom. Does Ancestral Healing offer a total cure? When a person begins ancestral healing it takes them on a kind of healing journey, it becomes so much more than just their presenting symptoms. Sometimes the ancestral healing offered in Dynamic Theatre is too much for the person at that time, what I mean is that it requires the individual to be actively involved in their healing process and some people do not want to take that path of action and change. It certainly is not a sit back and let someone else do it for you kind of healing. Also it would be inappropriate and unethical to say ancestral healing offers a total cure for everyone, all healing methods work in different ways for different people. Yes of course we have been witness to some quite profound and remarkable healings that happened in ways we could not have imagined, to see a lady entering a workshop in physical pain from a long term back problem walk, easily and liberated from pain, out of the same workshop is quite a humbling experience, to be witness to a mother crying with joy after her son no longer expresses the symptoms of Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and literally saves him from a life of medication, purely because a week earlier she had healed an unknown paternal uncle who had died young many years before she was even born, to be witness to something as precious as this is both an honour and privilege. Ancestral Healing is a much-needed service for all. How are the treatments? Treatments vary from person to person, in some cases we will use a lot of Dynamic Theatre to explore the hidden patterns that are involved in creating the issue, or we might decide that working with colour psycho-dynamics is the best approach to start with. In all cases we start with gathering as much information about the person’s family as possible, including those family members who are considered the “black sheep” as well as those who died young or may have even disappeared. It is quite surprising how much information people start to remember as they talk about their family. As we talk we may also start to draw a family tree, this again seems to wake up a lot of forgotten stories, it is as if we are waking up the family soul. More often than not as we draw the tree and talk about it a noticeable pattern between some family members becomes apparent, we see how maybe one generation compensated for the previous generation or how a belief system has been carried through the generations because of actions taken by previous ones. The problem in itself already starts to decrease, because now the person is free from carrying the burden of the past generations, it becomes, if you like a shared problem. As much as we offer individual ancestral healing we also work at times with the collective story of a country, people often overlook that whilst we have our family ancestral history we are also connected to our culture and country ancestors. It is sometimes the unfinished collective stories of a country that keep certain stories alive. In Portugal we have worked many times through Dynamic Theatre on healing the wounds of the country’s past, be it from the times of the great explorers where many men went away and many women and children were left behind never seeing there husbands, fathers, sons or brothers again, to the times of Portugal’s involvement in colonialism and the slave trade, all have left their mark in the psyche of the Portuguese people today. To give voice to centuries of tears of loss and longing, or the raging and revengeful ones vowing to cause chaos in the families of those that ripped them from their roots of Africa, is no easy feat and requires skilled expertise to create a container strong enough to withstand what hundreds years of silence and repression sounds like when finally given a voice. Recently we were working in Izmir in Turkey and the group of about 25 people from all different walks of life decided that a theme they would like to work with was the youth of today to see what effect, if any, the previous generations were having upon them. No one quite expected the depth Dynamic Theatre would take this story to. The person representing “Turkish youth�� could only look down and had no voice to express the depth of sadness and feelings of being lost. What happened next left the whole room in tears, the group decided that it was very important to have Mustafa Ataturk represented, for many people Ataturk is considered the “father” of modern day Turkey. The person representing Ataturk equally could only look down and said he felt unfinished. Keep in mind that where the magic of Dynamic Theatre happens is that none of the players know who or what they are representing. As the youth of today started expressing more feelings of sadness at being lost and not knowing where to go, Ataturk slowly moved across the room towards youth. He knelt on the floor in front of youth and gently took hold of their hand and looked up at them and said softly yet with strength “I will always be with you” with these words youth let out a deep cry of relief followed by many tears, as did everyone in the room. When we finished our Dynamic Theatre none of us could speak for quite a while after, it touched something very deep in the hearts of all those present. Many people reported back to me from that group that this forever changed their view and interaction with the Turkish youth of today, realising how important it is to honour and remember those that have played a part in making our countries what they are today. Ancestral healing is a powerful tool for healing the wounds of history, as we release these emotions we are filled with a joy of living in the present and excitement for creating a prosperous future for everyone. “In every nation there are wounds to heal In every community there is work to be done And in every heart there is the power to do it” Marianne Williamson Some case studies of what was cured and the transformation and work that took place Individual Ancestral Healing I think one of the most memorable individual cases was Michelle who came for a session to explore her fertility problems. Her and her husband had been through numerous tests and various fertility treatments over the years and all had been unsuccessful. As she said this was a last hope. We explored her maternal ancestral line through a mix of Dynamic Theatre and Colour Psycho-dynamics and discovered somewhere in the 5th generation there was a very unhappy lady with a story connected to motherhood.  As we were working Michelle told me that she was feeling a mix of heat and pain in both her ovaries, from this I knew we had found the root ancestral cause of her fertility problem. When Michelle stood in the space of this 5th generation lady an overwhelming sense of sadness and grief took hold of her. I asked Michelle if she were this lady what might her story be, and asked her to trust whatever images and feelings emerged. Her story was of a simple young woman who gave birth before she was married, it was decided by her family that she was not responsible enough to take care of a baby, as soon as the baby girl was born she was taken away, never to be seen of or talked about again. The young woman later married and had other children but never recovered from having her first child taken away from her. She lived a comfortable life, loved by her other children but always feeling as though a glass wall existed between them and never feeling good enough as a mother. Michelle felt that the lady died from an illness in her ovaries, once free of her physical body the first thing she wanted to do was to find her first born. In ancestral healing, the healing comes from allowing to happen or to do what the person never had the opportunity to do. Michelle embraced the small cushion I gave to her as if a mother was holding her newborn baby for the first time. Centuries of withheld tears flowed in that moment. Michelle said afterwards that the pain in her ovaries had subsided but the heat was still very present, she said she felt lighter and freer One evening around midnight I received an SMS text just saying “Congratulations Mark you are a father” needless to say I was somewhat shocked, as it wasn’t signed by anyone. A few minutes later another text arrived from a friend of Michelle’s telling me that she had just given birth to a healthy baby boy. Michelle later told me that she is absolutely convinced that the very same night after our work, of course with the help of her husband, she conceived her son.   This is the power and depth of ancestral healing. Collective Ancestral Healing In December 2010 Filipe and myself worked in Istanbul with a Dynamic Theatre group with the theme of ancestral healing, what came from the group was a need to acknowledge and work with the unfinished business of the earthquake victims of 1999 and their families, in our group a large percentage of the people present came from the town which was the epicenter of the quake. Whilst the work was powerful dealing with liberating those still “unfound” and giving voice to the workers helpless to know how to answer the questions of “could we have done more”, all groups were given a voice, people were happy to speak and act on behalf of others, all groups apart from one.  No one would or could stand in the group space of those that were found and survived, it was only by Filipe’s experience and intuition that he was able to give voice and emotion to those suffering with survivor’s guilt, when told by another group that the survivors, were the hero’s he said that speaking as the survivor’s a part of him had died with those that had died on that fateful day, and that part of him remained in the “land of the ancestors”. This piece of work was for many the most painful and yet at the same time most liberating to finally speak out about their feelings of guilt about living, for many they were then able to acknowledge that they lived daily with a feeling of being more dead and empty inside than those that were actually dead. Through a process of ritual honouring and the beginning of forgiveness the day ended with a feeling that a new day had just dawned. Each generation does the best it can do with the life circumstances presented, each generation hopes in some way to improve on the last, taking from it what was good and trying to improve or change what was not. The important thing for any person in any generation is to live the best life possible whatever his or her circumstances, knowing that if the passion and desire is strong enough and change is desired enough then life will support the individual to make his or her dream a reality. We believe that Dynamic Theatre acts as a tool and a support to help anyone recognize his or her own inner resources and strengths. There are many stories from all parts of the world where against all odds people achieve the most amazing things, mostly these are ordinary people like you or I, who have believed in and followed their dream. They have not been put off when someone says No, they have not given up when their attempts to change or do something fail, and it has only given them more passion and more desire to carry on. These are the people we ought to choose to inspire our own lives. If we want to have a hope for ourselves and for our children and our grand-children’s grand children then we have to remember how it is to be inspired and develop a deep love for what we want to do. It is important not to give up on our dreams; we need to remember to tell the stories of our families and those that inspire us in general.  Whether you choose to recognise and act on those dreams is ultimately your own choice, but before you make that choice or think that maybe it’s all too difficult or too much responsibility ask yourself this, how do you want to be remembered by your descendants, what is your gift to yourself and what is your contribution to the ancestral melting pot life? Before we look forward to the future we must first look back and liberate the past, as Ghandi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world”, you are the one your ancestors and your descendants have been waiting for. Read the full article

[fantasyandromancelover]

The Tale of Tales Chapter 32

"Not that I'm happy that you two nearly drowned but I am glad that you ended up here." Wendy said pouring the tea for her guests. "I don't get many visitors except for the animals but they can't really carry on a conversation."

"How come it's summer here?" Juvia asked.

"Because it's my favorite season so I make it always summertime where I live."

"And you're allowed to do that?" Gray said. "Doesn't that upset the balance of nature or something like that?"

"Only if I do it to the whole world but there's no harm if I do it in my own private home. Humans can't really see or enter a fairy's home without their consent. Technically we're supposed to avoid humans but I hate that rule because it's so lonely to always be in hiding. When I get my wings I'm going to be a fairy godmother, they're the only fairies allowed to have contact with humans."

"Why do fairies have to hide from humans?" Juvia asked.

"No offense but it's in the nature of human beings to be selfish and greedy sometimes so there have been plenty of cases where fairy magic has been abused by humans who give into their selfishness and greed. That's why a law was passed that we stay away from them."

"Then why do you have these fairy godmothers?" Gray said.

"Because not all humans are bad. Some of them are very kind and hard working but are forced to live unhappy lives. Those humans need help, someone to give them the courage to change their lives for the better. Then there are children who have no home, no family, and are alone in the world. That's what fairy godmothers are for. We help and care for good-hearted humans who face off against things that are beyond their control but only if they truly have goodness in their hearts."

"And how do you know if they have goodness?"

"That's easy. We can see into a person's heart."

"You can?"

"Yep."

"No offense but that's creepy!"

"Humans have done far more creepier things than that."

"Where do fairies come from exactly?" Juvia asked.

"Well it all depends. Most of the time magical creatures like fairies and dwarfs come from nature like me but then there are rare cases where magical creatures are born to humans like my friend Lisanna. Her mother, father, and older sister were both human but she was born a fairy and her older brother was born a dwarf."

"How the heck does that happen?" Gray asked confused.

"Well her great, great, great, great, great, great, maternal grandmother was a fairy and her great, great, great, great, great, great, paternal grandfather was a dwarf. So in it's in the genes."

"I didn't think humans, fairies, and dwarfs married outside their species." Juvia said.

"Normally they don't. In fact it's an extremely rare when fairies and dwarfs get married at all."

"Why is that?"

"Well for one thing all dwarfs are male and all fairies are female. They were made that way because they were supposed to have one purpose and that's to serve the earth. The dwarfs are the only creatures strong enough to break through the enchanted soil the holds special diamonds, gold, and silver which can be crushed into fairy dust. So the dwarfs mine for them, crush them into fairy dust, and give it to the fairies who use it to bring goodness and happiness to the world."

"Are all fairies and dwarfs good?"

"We were made to be good and have no selfish desires but even we can be morally corrupt. There have been a few evil dwarfs and dark fairies. There was this one dark fairy who cursed a princess to sleep for a hundred years and then there was this evil dwarf who turned a prince into a bear."

"I thought that they could only do good magic."

"It was like that until an evil spirit wrote down all it's evil spells and potions in a book that it gave to dark hearted humans, fairies, and dwarfs to use. The book disappeared years ago and no one knows where it is, hopefully it was destroyed."

"Wendy! Wendy are you here?"

A pretty fairy dressed in green with glasses walked into the garden. She looked much older than Wendy.

"Oh Hello Evergreen what are you doing here?" Wendy asked her.

"I have some news, don't go out for awhile because a snow storm is coming."

The fairy called Evergreen looked over at Gray and Juvia.

"Wendy who are these humans and why are they here? You know you're not allowed to expose yourself to humans?"

"I know but they fell into the river and when I found them they were both unconscious. I couldn't just leave them out in the cold they would have frozen to death. You can understand that?"

"I guess. So who are they?"

"This is Gray and she's Juvia. Isn't she beautiful?"

Evergreen looked at the two of them skeptically. Her eyes scanning them up and down several times as if she were studying them.

"She's a pretty thing I guess but not nearly as beautiful as I am. The young man is kind of cute but they both look bedraggled. I mean just look at their clothes and their hair. What a sight."

"Hey!" Gray and Juvia said insulted.

"You'll have to forgive Evergreen she's a little on the vain side and she's not really polite." Wendy said. "Evergreen I can't believe how you rude you can be."

"As queen of the fairies I have no need to be polite to anyone least of all humans."

"For the last time Evergreen you're not the queen of the fairies. We don't even have a queen. That human didn't know what he was talking about when he called you that."

"Don't be jealous Wendy."

"I'm not jealous." She rolled her eyes then turned back to Gray and Juvia. "Listen I don't think you two should try to go back home until that snow storm passes."

"A little snow never hurt anyone." Gray said.

"But a lot can kill you handsome." Evergreen said. "And there's definitely a lot coming."

"I'll have two extra bedrooms made up in my house." Wendy said.

"Oh we couldn't impose." Juvia said.

"I insist and besides I like having guests."

"If we must stay then at least allow us to do something in return."

"Us?" Gray said.

"Of course. We don't have any money to pay for board here so we'll make it up with work."

"You don't need to do anything to be allowed to stay here for a few days especially when it's because of a horrible snow storm." Wendy said.

Juvia didn't feel right about staying at someone's house without providing something in return but Wendy assured her that it was no trouble and Wendy was such a wonderful little fairy. She was sweet, thoughtful, and a great conversationist. She and Juvia would talk for hours and hours. Wendy would talk about the other fairies and what they did for fun while Juvia would talk about her life at the castle and living with the dwarfs. After staying for three days, Juvia and Gray decided to repay Wendy for her kindness by helping her work in the garden.

"So are you really a princess?" Wendy asked as she watered the violets and irises.

"Yes I am." Juvia answered while pruning the roses.

"But if you're a princess how do you know how to cook and clean and garden? I thought princesses never did that stuff."

"Yeah I've been wondering that too." Gray said pulling out weeds.

"Growing up my stepmother never allowed me to leave the castle when my father went away so to keep myself busy I asked the servants to teach me how to cook, clean, and tend to the flowers in the royal gardens." Juvia said. "They were the only things keeping me from being bored, well that and my needle work. I love to sew and knit also, my mother used to do it alot."

"Well you're doing a wonderful job with the roses." Wendy said. "Thank you both so much for helping out with the garden."

"It's the least we could do after all you've- ouch!" Juvia had pricked her finger on one of the roses's thorns.

"What happened?" Wendy asked.

"It's nothing. I just pricked my finger."

"You didn't just prick it you got a thorn stuck in it." Gray said. "Wendy can you get me a needle?"

"Sure thing." Wendy said going into her house.

"What are you going to do?" Juvia asked.

"I'm going to dig it out."

"Won't that hurt?"

"Yes but do you want it to stay in your finger for good?"

"No but try to be gentle."

"I make no promises Princess but I'll try not to hurt you bad."

Wendy came back with a needle and Gray carefully began using it to try and dig the thorn out. It stung but Juvia didn't complain or cry, she just grit her teeth a couple of times.

"You sure do have a high pain tolerance." Gray said.

"Well it's not like screaming and crying will make the thorn come out faster."

"Okay almost there and...Got it."

She looked down at the red blood starting to drip out of her white skinned finger. Gray firmly but gently pressed a handkerchief on to her wound to stop the bleeding.

"Am I squeezing too hard?" He asked.

"No. Thank you for getting it out. Where did you learn to do that?"

"When I was seven I fell out of a tree and landed in a brair patch. I had thorns all in my hand and my father dug them out of me with one of my mother's needles. It hurt like hell but there was no other way to get em out. Good thing you only got one stuck in there, I had like twelve in my hand."

Juvia laughed a little.

"You have a cute laugh." Gray said not thinking and his hand flew to his mouth as soon as he spoke them. Juvia blushed.

"You think my laugh is cute?"

"Uh...Well uh..." He started to back away from her. "I think all girl laughs are cute cause their girls and uh...Whoa!"

He accidentally walked backwards off the edge of Wendy's fish pond and fell right in. Juvia and Wendy burst out laughing at the young man sitting in the pond dripping wet with a fish flopping on top of his head before it leapt back into the water.

"Are you...giggle...Alright?" Juvia said trying to stop laughing.

"I'm fine." He said in an irritated voice.

After laughing for another minute Juvia grabbed Gray's hand and pulled him out.

"That was the most humiliating moment of my life." Gray said before blowing his wet hair out of his face.

"Oh my goodness. I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard. You're very funny."

"I don't do funny."

"You just did something funny a few seconds ago." She laughed. "Come on I'll get you a towel and dry you off."

They went into Wendy's house to search for a towel. As Wendy watched them she thought to herself.

"What a cute couple."

[mooneec]

Fatherless Daughters: How Growing up Without a Dad Affects Women

Growing Up Without a Dad Shapes Who You Are

It took six decades, but I can finally utter a huge truth that caused me tremendous shame and sadness: My father didn't love me. I never spoke that deep, dark secret, but it was always festering inside of me. It manifested itself in many ways throughout my life as I struggled with a food obsession, low self-esteem, social anxiety, and depression.

Whether a dad was present but rejecting like mine or walked away from his fatherly duties entirely, his absence leaves an indelible mark on a daughter's psyche as she grows into adulthood. What does the research say about woman who grew up with fathers who didn't love them—daughters who were never daddy's little girl?

Below, you'll find six ways a daughter may be affected by an uninvolved dad.

Fathers provide their daughters with a masculine example. They teach their children about respect and boundaries and help put daughters at ease with other men throughout their lives. [...] So if she didn't grow up with a proper example, she will have less insight and she'll be more likely to go for a man that will replicate the abandonment of her father.

— Caitlin Marvaso, AMFT, a grief counselor and therapist in Oakland, CA

1. Fatherless Daughters Have Self-Esteem Issues

According to Deborah Moskovitch, an author and divorce consultant, kids often blame themselves when dad leaves the home and becomes less involved in their lives. When they aren't given an explanation about why dad left, they make up their own scenario and jump to the conclusion that it's their fault and that they're unlovable.

This is especially true for daughters. Countless studies have shown that fatherlessness has an extremely negative impact on daughters' self esteem. Her confidence in her own abilities and value as a human being can be greatly diminished if her father isn't there. Academically, personally, professionally, physically, socially, and romantically, a woman's self esteem is diminished in every setting if she did not form a healthy relationship with her father.

As a child, I watched television shows like The Brady Bunch and Happy Days in which the fathers showered their daughters with tremendous amounts of attention and affection. Because I never got that from my dad, I convinced myself it was because I wasn't cute enough. I thought if I had blond hair and talked with a lisp like Cindy Brady I would then have my dad's devotion. I hated the way I looked because I thought it caused my father's disinterest in me. As I got older, my self-esteem plummeted and I was sure no man would ever find me attractive.

2. Daughters With Absent Fathers Struggle to Build and Maintain Relationships

According to Pamela Thomas, author of Fatherless Daughters (a book that examines how women cope with the loss of a father via death or divorce), women who grew up with absent dads find it difficult to form lasting relationships. Because they were scarred by their dad's rejection of them, they don't want to risk getting hurt again. Consciously or unconsciously, they avoid getting close to people. They may form superficial relationships in which they reveal little of themselves and put very little effort into getting to know others. They may become promiscuous as a way of getting male attention without becoming too emotionally involved.

Ever since childhood, I've built walls around myself. I didn't open up to people. I didn't ask questions about their families, jobs, or hobbies. I kept my life private, and I remained socially isolated. These were all self-protective measures so I wouldn't experience rejection like I did with my dad. Knowing this intellectually did nothing to help me change my behavior because my fear of rejection was more powerful than my desire to make connections.

3. Women With Absent Fathers Are More Likely to Have Eating Disorders

In their book The Parent's Guide to Eating Disorders, the authors Marcia Herrin and Nancy Matsumoto write eloquently about the fact that girls with physically or emotionally absent fathers are at greater risk of developing eating disorders. Anorexia nervosa, bulimia, binge-eating, body dysmorphia, unhealthy preoccupations with food or body weight, and other eating disorders are all more likely if a girl does not have a father figure as she's growing up. Daughters without dads are also twice as likely to be obese. Because her longing to have a close relationship with her dad is denied, she may develop what Margo Maine (author of Father Hunger: Fathers, Daughters, & Food) calls “father hunger,” a deep emptiness and a profound insecurity. Daughters are left wondering: What's so wrong with me that my own father doesn't love me? If I looked different—if I was thin—would I earn daddy's love?

I've struggled with "father hunger" throughout my life—stuffing my face to fill the void, dieting to get model-thin, and always obsessing about food. My days have been filled with thoughts of eating—either doing it or struggling mightily not to. When I accepted that my dad didn't love me and that he was an unhappy man with deep-rooted problems, I finally started eating normally and began maintaining a healthy weight. I began treating myself in a loving way by exercising, gardening, reading, walking in the woods, and spending time with family. For the first time in my life, I only thought about food when I was truly hungry. This freed me to enjoy my life in so many wonderful ways.

4. Daughters of Absent Fathers Are More Prone to Depression

Not surprisingly, girls who grew up with dads who were emotionally or physically absent are more likely to struggle with depression as adults. Because they fear abandonment and rejection, these women often isolate themselves emotionally. They avoid healthy romantic relationships because they don't feel deserving and fear getting hurt, but they might jump into unhealthy relationships that ultimately lead to heartbreak. In either scenario, the women are in emotional peril and frequently become depressed. If they don't deal with the cause of their sadness—an absent dad—they may never be able to develop healthy relationships with men.

To top it all off, data suggests that children without fathers are more than twice as likely to commit suicide.

According to Denna Babul and Karin Louise, authors of The Fatherless Daughter Project, it's helpful to simply realize that we're not alone. In fact, one in three women see themselves as fatherless and struggle with feelings of abandonment. Knowing this fact helps us see that there's a whole sisterhood out there who share a common pain and a need to connect. When we open up and share our journey, we help both ourselves and each other. Whether we feel the loss of a dad through death, divorce, drug addiction, estrangement, or emotional neglect, we must grieve in order to move forward. Read Five Steps to Heal Her Pain: How a Fatherless Daughter Can Move On From Her Dad's Rejection for ideas on how to avoid falling into depression. A gifted therapist can be key to helping us do just that and becoming happier people.

5. Dadless Daughters Are More Likely to Become Sexually Active Earlier

Studies have shown the many benefits that come from a strong father-daughter bond. Most notably, girls who are close to their dads are less likely to get pregnant as teens. They delay engaging in sexual relationships, wait longer to get married and have children, and when they do find a husband, their marriages are more emotionally satisfying, stable, and long-lasting.

Countless studies also show that women who have unstable or absent paternal relationships are more likely to start having sex earlier and engage risky sexual behaviors. Daughters are four times more likely to get pregnant as a teen if dad isn't in the picture. Studies show that more than 70% of unplanned teenage pregnancies occur in homes where there is no father.

My older sister (who, like me, did not have a relationship with our father) met her future husband when she was just 18 and married him when she turned 22, straight out of college. He was the only guy she ever dated. Without a doubt, she was looking for the love and validation she never got from our dad. She was looking for an alternative to a man who never said "I love you" or "you're pretty" and never gave the unconditional acceptance one craves from a parent. Although she is still married, her union has been a difficult one, and she discourages her own daughters from marrying young.

6. Abandoned Daughters Are Susceptible to Addiction

As with depression, eating disorders, and low self esteem, the absence of a father can trap a daughter in a negative repetitive pattern she can't easily break out of and turn to drugs to self-medicate and help numb the pain. She is more likely to find herself trapped in a cycle of substance abuse, for example. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, fatherless children are at a dramatically greater risk of drug and alcohol abuse. Not only are kids in father-absent households about four times more likely to be poor (which can trigger many negative cycles), fatherless adolescents were found to be 69% more likely to use drugs and 76% more likely to commit crimes.

Can a Daughter Survive Without a Father?

Try as I might, I was never been able to get any traction, always making a mess of this or that and never able to form long-lasting friendships. I rejected happiness because I never felt worthy of it. I did so much to sabotage my life and make myself miserable.

Then last year my older sister revealed to me that she, too, had felt unloved by him. I immediately felt enormous relief and then great euphoria. I realized it had never been about me—that I was bad, ugly, stupid and undeserving. It had always been about him—his unhappy childhood, his cold mother, his negative nature, and his dissatisfaction with being a husband and father. It had never been about me...never.

I could finally shout: “You were a piece of crap and now I'm done with you! I'm not your prisoner any more!"

According to Caitlin Marvaso, AMFT, a grief counselor and therapist, to recover from a father's abandonment, a woman "must learn how to father herself, hold herself, and receive the type of love a father provides. It is a lifelong process, but with the proper support, tools, and patience, it is totally possible. That being said, the grief and pain never goes away, it just changes."

A daughter whose father abandoned her can grow, thrive, learn, excel, succeed, love and be loved, and live a wonderful life when she realizes that the problem isn't her, it's him. This is the first step toward healing.

[fingfamily-blog-blog]

A Sentimental Traveller in the 21st Century

"It must have been observed by many a peripatetic philosopher, That nature has set up by her own unquestionable authority certain boundaries and fences to circumscribe the discontent of man; she has effected her purpose in the quietest and easiest manner by laying him under almost insuperable obligations to work out his ease, and to sustain his sufferings at home. It is there only that she has provided him with the most suitable objects to partake of his happiness, and bear a part of that burden which in all countries and ages has ever been too heavy for one pair of shoulders. ’Tis true, we are endued with an imperfect power of spreading our happiness sometimes beyond her limits, but ’tis so ordered, that, from the want of languages, connections, and dependencies, and from the difference in education, customs, and habits, we lie under so many impediments in communicating our sensations out of our own sphere, as often amount to a total impossibility." These are the words of Yorick, one of Laurence Sterne's most enduring characters, from A Sentimental Journey Through France and Italy, by Mr. Yorick. And if you're looking for an interpretation from his 18th century English, I'd say he's saying that it is almost against nature to become a traveller. Home is our security and familiarity. The outer world is foreign, unknown, dangerous and uncaring. Who would want to leave home? My father once told me that he felt a person had to be rather unhappy to leave their home. But he left his home, and I wouldn't call him an unhappy person. And since I have traveled as much as I have, my sons have also been conditioned to see travel as something rather different, as an opportunity to find a new home. So, where Yorick suggests near "impossibility" in travel, I see the impossibility of staying home. Specifically in 2022, my home, in the USA, battered by pandemic lockdowns, economic uncertainty, and political polarization, is as insecure as I've known it to be in my lifetime (57 years). And, while I love the USA, I have to admit that my familiarity with it has bred some contempt, which I am very much keen on removing. So, why does a person break through the chains of home and accept the foreign and uncaring? Of course, friends, it is knowledge. At home, and especially if one has never traveled beyond their own culture, the limited boundaries are akin to a prison, trapping the mind in a monoculture, deceiving one into thinking that what is is best, and that nothing could be better. Now, some people are truly trapped in their worlds, due to poverty, ignorance and sickness, but many others in America are trapped by their comfort and complacency. These are the people I have never wanted to be. Because these are blinded to two truths which are prime motivators for me - America as a beacon, and America as a hard place to start over. My paternal grandparents were immigrants, and my maternal family fled the potato famine in Ireland in the 19th century. They knew in their bodies what many Americans know in their minds, but not from their experience. America has been a beacon of opportunity to millions, a land of freedom to work toward. Those who have immigrated to the US, as my father said, must have been unhappy people, fleeing starvation, oppression, and injustice, and America offered them a dream upon which they could hope for a better life. But, and it wouldn't take too much effort to find confirmation in the multiplicity of stories in this regard, arrival in America is rarely a guarantee of absolute freedom and happiness. Complacent Americans themselves make it difficult for immigrants to find their way, to establish security, but in the course of time, and with persistence, America can become their home. These two truths are part of what I've always wanted to discover in my travels - what is life like that makes people want to leave their homes and come to America? And why do people endure so much travail and tribulation in order to establish a new life in the USA? But even more important than answering such questions, I have always and ever simply wanted to see how other people live. So a corollary question is, why do people stay where they are? And that brings us right back around to Yorick's observation, the comfort and inertia of familiarity. So I am also seeking to learn what it is in Indonesia (and the other places I've been) which keeps people there, the envelopment of culture, language, religion, food, social rituals, weather. I want my body to experience these things - the call to prayer at 4:30 a.m., the spiciness of the food, the seasonal celebrations, the heat of the tropics - to be immersed and to have to accept them as the locals accept them, as part of life. In this way I can understand 4 differing perspectives - 1) why America is worth staying in, 2) why America is worth leaving, 3) why Indonesia (or anywhere) is worth staying in, and 4) why Indonesia (or anywhere) is worth leaving. If one doesn't have such understanding, one is most surely tempted to believe that where they are is flawlessly best, and that might motivate them to hate those who think otherwise, or to want to fight to keep things from changing as they always and naturally do. I am set to leave for Malang in one week. I am quite excited.

[the-busy-ghost]

Vengeful Fathers, Unhappy Children, and Why Not To Pick Fights With Henry I of England: The Story of Juliana of Fontevrault

Ok so over the past six months I’ve come across the story of Henry I’s illegitimate daughter Juliana several times in various books, and kept meaning to look into it further. Having finally done so I thought I’d share it here as I really find it a fascinating, if sometimes a bit unlikely, tale- though please excuse my rubbish narration as I’m out of practise. Also there’s probably a lot more to be explained, especially re: the context of Henry I’s rule in Normandy, and also about Eustace, but I’ve mostly focused on Juliana’s role for now (but I’ve provided some references as starting points)

[Quick warning before I start, this story mentions mutilation so like I’d skip past if you really don’t want to hear about that today. Otherwise it’s the usual warning of ‘medieval crazies abound.]

This story starts in Normandy around 1103, when conflict broke out over the inheritance of Breteuil. The previous lord, William, had died without legitimate heirs and so as usual various claimants were squabbling over the succession, namely two of his nephews- the Breton William de Gael and the Burgundian Reynold de Grancei- and his illegitimate son Eustace, who appears to have been the preferred candidate among the inhabitants of the lordship of Breteuil. William de Gael died early on, but Reynold, supported by the Count of Evreux among others, continued to press his claim to Breteuil, resulting in open war. Eustace soon found his own powerful supporter, having appealed to Henry I of England. Henry was king of England only at this point, but had no qualms about stirring up trouble in his brother Robert’s duchy of Normandy, and had a vested interest in making overtures to Norman lords, especially those who controlled powerful strategic positions along the Norman border. One of the ways that Henry often sealed such alliances, both in Normandy and elsewhere, was through the marriage of his illegitimate daughters. Thus, when he agreed to support Eustace he gave him the hand of his daughter, Juliana, in marriage. In doing so he made it clear that his new- and possibly first- son-in-law had his explicit support. Although Reynold and his allies continued to mount surprise attacks on Eustace’s position for some time, they were eventually chased out of Breteuil. 

Eustace’s new bride, Juliana, was just one of her father’s many illegitimate children. Despite fathering just two surviving legitimate children (William the Aetheling and the Empress Matilda), Henry I had well over twenty children  born outside of marriage, and frequently made use of them  to further his political aims and alliances- notable examples include Robert, Earl of Gloucester, Matilda Countess of Perche, Sybilla, Queen of Scots, Richard of Lincoln, and Maud Duchess of Brittany. For some of the children we know quite a lot about their backgrounds, but for others, including Juliana, it is difficult to even identify who their mothers were. Juliana has sometimes been theorised to have been the full sister of Richard of Lincoln, and thus a daughter of Ansfride, but this is based on very flimsy evidence. Meanwhile, Orderic Vitalis describes her as “the king’s daughter by a concubine”, and while in some cases ‘concubine’ was used to indicate that the woman was of low status, this is equally uncertain. In any case we can at least assume that she was born before 1100, probably long before her father became king, and that her father considered her a suitable bride for Eustace, one who could be relied on to help further his political strategy. 

Fifteen years later, however, Henry might have had reason to doubt this. By this time Henry had managed to wrest control of the duchy of Normandy from his older brother, but was now facing widespread revolt from his own Norman barons, and he had also become embroiled in a war with King Louis VI of France. So the last thing he needed was for Eustace of Breteuil to begin pestering him and aggressively pursuing a claim to the castle of Ivry. Orderic Vitalis says that Henry, unwilling to quarrel with Eustace, refrained from giving a definite answer at that time and mediated a temporary settlement by organising an exchange of child hostages. Ralph-Harene, who was then in control of the castle, was to give his son to Eustace, while the two daughters of Eustace and Juliana were in turn given to their grandfather Henry. This was to act as a symbol of good faith, and should have at least secured a temporary peace, if not a permanent settlement.

Unfortunately, it was not long before this peace was broken- soon Eustace decided to send a very clear message of defiance to Ralph, by blinding Ralph’s son and then sending him back to his father. Why Eustace took such a risk in not only breaking a very serious agreement, but also openly flouting royal authority, is essentially unclear. However Orderic Vitalis claims that he was egged on by Amaury de Montfort, a long-time enemy of Henry I, who had recently attempted to prevent him inheriting the county of Evreux, and that Amaury “used every artifice that malice could suggest to renew the quarrel, and made many promises to Eustace on oath which he never performed”. But if Eustace thought that he would not have to face the consequences of his actions, or that his daughters’ kinship to Henry I would protect them, he was about to receive a nasty shock. Ralph went to the king with his complaint, and Henry I, angry and appalled, handed over his granddaughters to Ralph as he must have felt justice and honour demanded. Ralph not only blinded the girls but also cut off the tips of their noses, before returning to Ivry, where he swiftly communicated to Eustace what he had done. 

Eustace and Juliana did not believe this was justice in the slightest. The outraged parents soon retaliated: Eustace garrisoned several castles against the king, while Juliana was sent to hold Breteuil with a strong force. The burgesses of Breteuil, however, were less eager to fight with Henry I and, having sent messages to him inviting him to come to Breteuil, they assisted the king in taking control of the town. Juliana was now confined to the castle, surrounded by a royal army and a hostile town.

Juliana seems to have been caught between a rock and a hard place. On the one hand, she was naturally enraged over the mutilation of her daughters, and as much at her father for handing them over for punishment as with Ralph. On the other hand, Orderic Vitalis claims that she was fretful and scared, convinced that her father was too angry to think of giving up his siege, and that she could not see a way out of her situation. Eventually she decided to take matters into her own hands- quite literally- and sent word to Henry’s camp that she wanted to meet with him face to face. The king agreed, but when he came within close range his “unhappy daughter” drew a crossbow and shot at him, apparently attempting to kill him. In the event Henry escaped unscathed, but with his patience much reduced he ordered the drawbridge to be broken down so that nobody could enter or leave the stronghold. Juliana, now completely desperate, surrendered the castle, but her father refused to allow her to leave freely. Instead Juliana was forced to clamber over the walls, and drop down into the moat- then filled with freezing cold water as it was February. The chronicler Orderic Vitalis makes much of her having to wade through the moat “indecently, with naked legs”, until eventually, “covered with shame” she was able to make her way to the castle of Pacy, where she found her husband and related to him what had happened. 

In the meantime, Henry stripped his son-in-law of Breteuil, granting it to Ralph de Gael, a relation of one of the previous claimants. Pacy alone remained in Eustace’s hands. Eventually though, Eustace and Juliana gave in. A few months later, while Henry was besieging Evreux, the couple came into his presence barefoot and without a safe conduct, and on their knees begged to be accepted back into the king’s peace. After some of the other nobles present interceded on their behalf, including Juliana’s brother Richard of Lincoln, Henry finally relented and forgave the pair. Juliana was sent home to Pacy, while Eustace was promised three hundred marks from England every year, and lived out the rest of his days in relative comfort, although Breteuil was never restored to him. By way of conclusion, Orderic Vitalis relates that Juliana herself “sometime afterward abandoned her loose mode of life”, taking the veil at the new abbey of Fontevrault, a house that was to be famously associated with many members of her paternal family in the century afterwards. This is borne out by the abbey’s cartulary, and it seems that her two unfortunate daughters also lived out the rest of their days in the same foundation- around 1130, Eustace gave ten pounds from his rents in England to the abbey, “for the weal of his predecessors and of himself and his wife and daughters who there serve God devoutly as nuns”. This grant was also confirmed by two sons that Juliana seems to have borne Eustace at some point before 1119- William and Roger. Juliana herself was still alive and witnessing agreements in 1136, outliving her father. 

What should we take away from this tale? For a start, I should offer a word of caution that the only chronicler who gives us such a detailed description of the mutilation of the hostages and Juliana’s personal assassination attempt on her father is Orderic Vitalis- it is possible that he could have exaggerated bits to explain a conflict between Eustace and Henry I, while his descriptions of Juliana’s state of mind whilst under siege in Breteuil are of course not to be taken at face value, fascinating though they are. The children of both Ralph and Eustace paying for the squabbles of their parents is particularly horrifying (as the chronicler himself noted), especially since Henry I was grandfather to the two girls he allowed to be punished for their father’s bad faith. But the whole affair is messy, with family strife everywhere and the tragedy is deeply personal. Nonetheless, and despite the fact that we know so little about her, I find Juliana a fascinating figure, and not just for her squabble with her famous father. For a start, Orderic Vitalis fixates on the concept of shame regarding her- though he is not entirely unsympathetic to her plight, he considers her to have led a ‘loose’ life, so what does this tell us about her character (for example, it reminds me of what William of Malmesbury says about her sister Queen Sybilla)? Or does he simply mean this in connection to her quarrel with her father? Equally there is the remarkable and unenviable plight she was placed in- a mother furious at the injury done to her children, although it was an injury indirectly caused by her husband’s actions, and when avenging this injury, she comes up against her own father, who had allowed his grandchildren to be punished in the first place, as harsh justice. And then, of course, she seems to have made an attempt on the life of her father and king, which if nothing else demonstrates the desperate measures she was apparently willing to take in such a situation. That she was so readily forgiven afterwards might also be seen as a bit surprising, though it is hardly the most unbelievable part of the tale. In any case, Juliana is by no means the least interesting of Henry I’s children and I thought her story- and that of the unfortunate children- was something I needed to talk about on here- and one I really want to know more about!

Some main sources:

“The Ecclesiastical History of England and Normandy”, by Orderic Vitalis, Volumes III and IV, translated by Thomas Forester

“Calendar of Documents Preserved in France, Illustrative of the History of Great Britain and Ireland”, Volume I, edited by J. Horace Round

“Affairs of State: the Illegitimate Children of Henry I,” by Kathleen Thompson in the Journal of Medieval History (2003)

“Royal Bastards: the Birth of Illegitimacy, 800-1230″, by Sara McDougall

“The Royal Bastards of Medieval England”, by Alice Curteis and Chris Given-Wilson

(Idek what this is but I felt the story was worth sharing on here and I needed a break from dissertation).

[blackkudos]

Morgan Freeman

Morgan Freeman (born June 1, 1937) is an American actor, producer and narrator. Freeman won an Academy Award in 2005 for Best Supporting Actor with Million Dollar Baby (2004), and he has received Oscar nominations for his performances in Street Smart (1987), Driving Miss Daisy (1989), The Shawshank Redemption (1994) and Invictus (2009). He has also won a Golden Globe Award and a Screen Actors Guild Award.

Freeman has appeared in many other box office hits, including Glory (1989), Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991), Seven (1995), Deep Impact (1998), The Sum of All Fears (2002), Bruce Almighty (2003), The Dark Knight Trilogy (2005–2012), The Lego Movie (2014), and Lucy (2014). He rose to fame as part of the cast of the 1970s children's program The Electric Company. Morgan Freeman is ranked as the 4th highest box office star with over $4.316 billion total box office gross, an average of $74.4 million per film.

Early life and education

Morgan Freeman was born on June 1, 1937 in Memphis, Tennessee. He is the son of Mayme Edna (née Revere; 1912–2000), a teacher, and Morgan Porterfield Freeman, a barber who died on April 27, 1961, from cirrhosis. He has three older siblings. According to a DNA analysis, some of his ancestors were from Niger. Freeman was sent as an infant to his paternal grandmother in Charleston, Mississippi. He moved frequently during his childhood, living in Greenwood, Mississippi; Gary, Indiana; and finally Chicago, Illinois. When Freeman was 16 years old, he almost died of pneumonia.

Freeman made his acting debut at age nine, playing the lead role in a school play. He then attended Broad Street High School, a building which serves today as Threadgill Elementary School, in Greenwood, Mississippi. At age 12, he won a statewide drama competition, and while still at Broad Street High School, he performed in a radio show based in Nashville, Tennessee. In 1955, he graduated from Broad Street, but turned down a partial drama scholarship from Jackson State University, opting instead to enlist in the United States Air Force and served as an Automatic Tracking Radar Repairman, rising to the rank of Airman 1st Class. Freeman's service portrait appears in his character's funeral scene in The Bucket List.

After four years in the military, he moved to Los Angeles, California, where he took acting lessons at the Pasadena Playhouse and dancing lessons in San Francisco in the early 1960s and worked as a transcript clerk at Los Angeles City College. During this period, Freeman also lived in New York City, working as a dancer at the 1964 World's Fair, and in San Francisco, where he was a member of the Opera Ring musical theater group. He acted in a touring company version of The Royal Hunt of the Sun, and also appeared as an extra in the 1965 film The Pawnbroker. Freeman made his off-Broadway debut in 1967, opposite Viveca Lindfors in The Nigger Lovers (about the Freedom Riders during the American Civil Rights Movement), before debuting on Broadway in 1968's all-black version of Hello, Dolly! which also starred Pearl Bailey and Cab Calloway.

He continued to be involved in theater work and received the Obie Award in 1980 for the title role in Coriolanus. In 1984, he received his second Obie Award for his role as the preacher in The Gospel at Colonus. Freeman also won a Drama Desk Award and a Clarence Derwent Award for his role as a wino in The Mighty Gents. He received his third Obie Award for his role as a chauffeur for a Jewish widow in Driving Miss Daisy, which was adapted for the screen in 1989.

Career

Acting career

Although his first credited film appearance was in 1971's Who Says I Can't Ride a Rainbow?, Freeman first became known in the American media through roles on the soap opera Another World and the PBS kids' show The Electric Company (notably as Easy Reader, Mel Mounds the DJ, and Vincent the Vegetable Vampire[clip]).

During his tenure with The Electric Company, "(i)t was a very unhappy period in his life," according to Joan Ganz Cooney. Freeman himself admitted in an interview that he never thinks about his tenure with the show at all. Since then, Freeman has considered his Street Smart (1987) character Fast Black, rather than any of the characters he played in The Electric Company, to be his breakthrough role.

Beginning in the mid-1980s, Freeman began playing prominent supporting roles in many feature films, earning him a reputation for depicting wise, fatherly characters. As he gained fame, he went on to bigger roles in films such as the chauffeur Hoke in Driving Miss Daisy, and Sergeant Major Rawlins in Glory (both in 1989). In 1994, he portrayed Red, the redeemed convict in the acclaimed The Shawshank Redemption. In the same year he was a member of the jury at the 44th Berlin International Film Festival.

He also starred in such films as Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, Unforgiven, Seven, and Deep Impact. In 1997, Freeman, together with Lori McCreary, founded the film production company Revelations Entertainment, and the two co-head its sister online film distribution company ClickStar. Freeman also hosts the channel Our Space on ClickStar, with specially crafted film clips in which he shares his love for the sciences, especially space exploration and aeronautics.

After three previous nominations—a supporting actor nomination for Street Smart, and leading actor nominations for Driving Miss Daisy and The Shawshank Redemption—he won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for his performance in Million Dollar Baby at the 77th Academy Awards. Freeman is recognized for his distinctive voice, making him a frequent choice for narration. In 2005 alone, he provided narration for two films, War of the Worlds and the Academy Award-winning documentary film March of the Penguins.

Freeman appeared as God in the hit film Bruce Almighty and its sequel, Evan Almighty, as well as Lucius Fox in the critical and commercial success Batman Begins and its sequels, The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises. He starred in Rob Reiner's 2007 film The Bucket List, opposite Jack Nicholson. He teamed with Christopher Walken and William H. Macy for the comedy The Maiden Heist, which was released direct to video due to financial problems with the distribution company. In 2008, Freeman returned to Broadway to co-star with Frances McDormand and Peter Gallagher for a limited engagement of Clifford Odets's play, The Country Girl, directed by Mike Nichols.

He had wanted to do a film based on Nelson Mandela for some time. At first he tried to get Mandela's autobiography Long Walk to Freedom adapted into a finished script, but it was not finalized. In 2007, he purchased the film rights to a book by John Carlin, Playing the Enemy: Nelson Mandela and the Game That Made a Nation. Clint Eastwood directed the Nelson Mandela bio-pic titled Invictus, starring Freeman as Mandela and Matt Damon as rugby team captain Francois Pienaar.

In 2010, Freeman co-starred alongside Bruce Willis in Red. In 2013, Freeman appeared in the action-thriller Olympus Has Fallen, the science fiction drama Oblivion, and the comedy Last Vegas. In 2014, he co-starred in the action film Lucy.

In 2015, Freeman played the Chief Justice of the United States in the season two premiere of Madam Secretary (Freeman is also one of the series' executive producers).

Other work

Freeman made his directorial debut in 1993 with Bopha! for Paramount Pictures.

In July 2009, Freeman was one of the presenters at the 46664 Concert celebrating Nelson Mandela's birthday at Radio City Music Hall in New York City. Freeman was the first American to record a par on Legend Golf & Safari Resort's Extreme 19th hole.

Effective January 4, 2010, Freeman replaced Walter Cronkite as the voiceover introduction to the CBS Evening News featuring Katie Couric as news anchor. CBS cited the need for consistency in introductions for regular news broadcasts and special reports as the basis for the change. As of 2010, Freeman is the host and narrator of the Discovery Channel television show, focused on physics outreach, Through the Wormhole.

He was featured on the opening track to B.o.B's second album Strange Clouds. The track "Bombs Away" features a prologue and epilogue (which leads into a musical outro) spoken by Freeman. In 2011, Freeman was featured with John Lithgow in the Broadway debut of Dustin Lance Black's play, 8, a staged reenactment of Perry v. Brown, the federal trial that overturned California's Proposition 8 ban on same-sex marriage. Freeman played Attorney David Boies. The production was held at the Eugene O'Neill Theatre in New York City to raise money for the American Foundation for Equal Rights.

In 2015 Freeman directed "The Show Must Go On," the season two premiere of Madam Secretary.

Personal life

Family

From his early life, Freeman has two extramarital children; one of them is Alfonso Freeman.

Freeman was married to Jeanette Adair Bradshaw from October 22, 1967, until November 18, 1979.

He married Myrna Colley-Lee on June 16, 1984. The couple separated in December 2007. Freeman's attorney and business partner Bill Luckett announced in August 2008 that Freeman and his wife were in divorce proceedings. On September 15, 2010, their divorce was finalized in Mississippi.

Freeman and Colley-Lee adopted Freeman's stepgranddaughter from his first marriage, E'dena Hines, and raised her together. On August 16, 2015, 33-year-old Hines was murdered in New York City.

In 2008, the TV series African American Lives 2 revealed that some of Freeman's great-great-grandparents were slaves who migrated from North Carolina to Mississippi. Freeman discovered that his Caucasian maternal great-great-grandfather had lived with, and was buried beside, Freeman's African-American great-great-grandmother (in the segregated South, the two could not marry legally at the time). A DNA test on the series stated that he is descended in part from the Songhai and Tuareg peoples of Niger.

Religious views

In a 2012 interview with TheWrap, Freeman was asked if he considered himself atheist or agnostic. He replied, "It's a hard question because as I said at the start, I think we invented God. So if I believe in God, and I do, it's because I think I'm God." Freeman later said that his experience working on The Story of God with Morgan Freeman did not change his views on religion.

Properties

Freeman lives in Charleston, Mississippi, and New York City. He owns and operates Ground Zero, a blues club in Clarksdale, Mississippi. He formerly co-owned Madidi, a fine dining restaurant, also in Clarksdale.

Flying

At age 65, Freeman earned a private pilot's license. He owns or has owned at least three private aircraft, including a Cessna Citation 501 jet and a Cessna 414 twin-engine prop. In 2007 he purchased an Emivest SJ30 long-range private jet and took delivery in December 2009. He is certified to fly all of them.

Car accident

Freeman was injured in an automobile accident near Ruleville, Mississippi, on the night of August 3, 2008. The vehicle in which he was traveling, a 1997 Nissan Maxima, left the highway and flipped over several times. He and a female passenger, Demaris Meyer, were rescued from the vehicle using the "Jaws of Life". Freeman was taken via medical helicopter to The Regional Medical Center (The Med) hospital in Memphis. Police ruled out alcohol as a factor in the crash. Freeman was coherent following the crash, as he joked with a photographer about taking his picture at the scene. His left shoulder, arm, and elbow were broken in the crash, and he had surgery on August 5, 2008. Doctors operated for four hours to repair nerve damage in his shoulder and arm. On CNN's Piers Morgan Tonight he stated that he is left handed but cannot move the fingers of his left hand. He wears a compression glove to protect against blood pooling due to non-movement. His publicist announced he was expected to make a full recovery. Meyer, his passenger, sued him for negligence, claiming that he was drinking the night of the accident. Subsequently, the suit was settled.

Beekeeping

After becoming concerned with the decline of honeybees, Freeman decided to turn his 124-acre ranch into a sanctuary for them in July 2014, starting with 26 bee hives.

Activism

Charitable work

In 2004, Freeman and others formed the Grenada Relief Fund to aid people affected by Hurricane Ivan on the island of Grenada. The fund has since become PLANIT NOW, an organization that seeks to provide preparedness resources for people living in areas afflicted by hurricanes and severe storms. Freeman has worked on narrating small clips for global organizations, such as One Earth, whose goals include raising awareness of environmental issues. He has narrated the clip "Why Are We Here," which can be viewed on One Earth's website. Freeman has donated money to the Mississippi Horse Park in Starkville, Mississippi. The park is part of Mississippi State University and Freeman has several horses that he takes there.

Politics

Freeman endorsed Barack Obama's candidacy for the 2008 presidential election, although he stated that he would not join Obama's campaign. He narrates for The Hall of Presidents with Barack Obama, who has been added to the exhibit. The Hall of Presidents re-opened on July 4, 2009, at Walt Disney World Resort in Orlando, Florida. Freeman joined President Bill Clinton, USA Bid Committee Chairman Sunil Gulati, and USMNT midfielder Landon Donovan on Wednesday, December 1, 2010, in Zurich for the U.S. bid committee's final presentation to FIFA for the 2022 FIFA World Cup. On day 4 of the 2016 Democratic National Convention, Morgan Freeman provided the voiceover for the video introduction of Democratic Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton.

Comments on racism

Freeman has publicly criticized the celebration of Black History Month and does not participate in any related events, saying, "I don't want a black history month. Black history is American history." He says the only way to end racism is to stop talking about it, and he notes that there is no "white history month." Freeman once said in an interview with 60 Minutes's Mike Wallace, "I am going to stop calling you a white man and I'm going to ask you to stop calling me a black man." Freeman supported the defeated proposal to change the Mississippi state flag, which contains the Confederate battle flag. Freeman sparked controversy in 2011 when, on CNN's Piers Morgan Tonight, he accused the Tea Party movement of racism.

In reaction to the death of Freddie Gray and the 2015 Baltimore protests, Freeman said he was "absolutely" supportive of the protesters. "That unrest [in Baltimore] has nothing to do with terrorism at all, except the terrorism we suffer from the police. [...] Because of the technology—everybody has a smartphone—now we can see what the police are doing. We can show the world, Look, this is what happened in that situation. So why are so many people dying in police custody? And why are they all black? And why are all the police killing them white? What is that? The police have always said, 'I feared for my safety.' Well, now we know. OK. You feared for your safety while a guy was running away from you, right?"

Filmography

Awards and honors

On October 28, 2006, Freeman was honored at the first Mississippi's Best Awards in Jackson, Mississippi, with the Lifetime Achievement Award for his works on and off the big screen. He received an honorary degree of Doctor of Arts and Letters from Delta State University during the school's commencement exercises on May 13, 2006. In 2013, Boston University presented him with an honorary degree of Doctor of Humane Letters. On November 12, 2014, he was bestowed the honour of Freedom of the City by the City of London.

Wikipedia

[echelonlab-blog]

Reigning Madness – Chapter 65

Masterlist

Disclaimer: Fiction.

Warnings: None

Tagging: @hazeleyedleto @msroxyblog @letojokerownsme @miss-shannanigans @snewsome756   @maliciousalishious   @nikkitasevoli@meghan12151977 @mindlessselfindulgence88 @sanellv@ambolton@jayded-reality @bradlea23@spillinginkwithlove@alexis7215@dezmarz@pezziecoyote@whoistheprettiest@avaj99@iridescxntsolitude@pheenixpeterson@guccilowell  @blondiefrommars @rowen1976​

Cynnamon's POV:

  I stood at the check out window, tears once again streaming down my face as I waited for the incompetent nurse behind the counter to schedule my next appointment. It turned out that bitch Stephanie really did know how to do her job, and the little one in my stomach was actually Jared Jr and not Courtney. All my dreams of my precious talented baby girl that would be the apple of her daddy's eye were shattered. I sniffled, thinking of all the frilly dresses and pink bedding I was going to have to return, and grabbed a few tissues from the dispenser on the ledge while I waited for the nurse to be finished.

  The more I thought about it, the more it felt like Jared had somehow done this just to make me unhappy. It would have been so like him, so selfish, only thinking of his stupid male need to have a son. Why were men so afraid of having daughters anyway? Our Courtney would have been different, she would have been so beautiful and fierce, he would have fallen in love with her the minute he saw her. Maybe this was for the best though. He really couldn't walk away from a Jared Jr., could he? No,  he couldn't deny his own namesake. And who knows, with his daddy's name and good looks, maybe he could be just as famous. We could always try again for a girl, the sooner the better even. It would all work out just fine. I was sure of it.

  By the time my appointment was confirmed and I swung the door open into the waiting room I was feeling much better and had glued my smile back in place. I wasn't about to let Jared see me as anything less than victorious. But as I looked around the waiting room there was no sign of Jared. He must have gotten bored waiting for me. Gee, Jared, I'm sorry the health of your child is so unimportant to you that you can't stick around to find out how we're doing. Furiously I tucked my bag under my arm and stormed out to the parking lot as fast as my growing belly would let me waddle.

  Jared's truck was exactly where I had spotted it when I arrived but Jared wasn't out there waiting. Instead, there were three men there, standing around and talking, and none of them looked to be Jared. I stalked my way over there, and one of them turned around, revealing himself to be Jason. What the fuck was going on? I could practically feel the steam coming out of my ears.

  As I reached the truck I could just make out Jared in the driver's seat, sunglasses on while he talked on his phone. Before I could walk around to the passenger side to climb in and demand to know what the fuck was going on one of the men who had been waiting stepped in front of me, asking to confirm that I was Susan Evans.

  “The name is Cynnamon Voodoo, and who the fuck are you?” I demanded.

  The man pulled a large manila envelope out of his jacket and looked at the front of it before pressing it against my chest. “My firm has been retained to look out for the interest of your unborn child. You'll find some documentation in that envelope which explains...”

  I threw the envelope on the ground and shouted at Jared. For someone that hated scenes, he sure didn't have any problem starting one today. “What the fuck is all this Jared? You had better get out here and talk to me right now or you will never lay eyes on your son!” Jared looked in my direction but didn't respond.

  “Miss Evans.. er, Miss Voodoo, I am going to need you to stop shouting and pay close attention to me,” the second man was saying. “I have extremely important information for you.”

  I looked at him again and recognized him as another one of Jared's asshole lawyers. He must have had all this ready to go, there was no way he pulled this together in the hour I was in there for my appointment. Jared was going to pay for ambushing me like this. Once I got a hold of a reporter...

  “Miss Evans, you are in direct and repeated violation of the agreement you made with Mr. Leto at the beginning of this pregnancy. You have made no effort to conceal your pregnancy from either the press or members of the general public. On the contrary,  you have gone out of your way to reveal your situation. Mr. Leto agreed to continue holding up his half of the agreement if you continued to allow him access to the prenatal appointments, include Mr. Caldwell in those appointments and have no further contact with the press. Since you are now in violation of all those provisional stipulations as well Mr. Leto has no further incentive to continue your arrangement.”

  This had better not be going where I thought it was going. I picked up a rock off the pavement and threw it at the window of Jared's truck. “Get your chicken ass out here now Jared!” I screamed. How dare he treat me, the mother of his child like this, and even worse, get those scumbag lawyers to do his dirty work for him! Everyone just ignored my outburst and continued.

  “Check out time at your hotel has passed for today so he will pay for you to stay there tonight as well. However, any additional days at the hotel will be your financial responsibility. In addition, there will be no further payment of your accounts, nor any additional monetary stipends. Mr. Leto will continue to provisionally pay for your medical care as he doesn't wish to endanger the child's health, However, if the paternity test reveals that it is not Mr. Leto's child,  you will be expected to cover any charges from this point forward. Mr. Caldwell can take you back to your hotel today and he has graciously volunteered to provide transportation to your future appointments should you so wish.”

  I screamed again and walked over to Jared's truck. The first lawyer tried to step in front of me and stop me but I knew he wouldn't put his hands on a pregnant woman so I just stepped around him and kept going. I pounded on Jared's window while I screamed and swore until he rolled it down enough to speak to me.

  “What the fuck do you think you're pulling here Jared?” I demanded.

  “Exactly what it sounds like Susan. I've given you chance after chance to hold up your end of the bargain. You just do whatever you want and expect me to shut up and deal with it because you just might be carrying my child. I've had enough. If you're going to shut me out of everything there is no reason for me to continue this charade. You'll see me again when it's time for the DNA test.”

  I turned on the waterworks. It wasn't hard, I was already upset by the ultrasound results and pregnancy hormones made me cry at the drop of a hat anyway. Jared had never been able to stomach seeing me cry. “Don't you care about our baby at all?” I sobbed. “A baby needs a father and a mother. I am trying so hard to make this work, to look out for our child's best interests and you just keep on upsetting me. You know it isn't good for the baby's health.”

  “I'm done being manipulated by you, Susan. Jason...”

  “IS NOT THIS BABY'S FATHER!” I shrieked. “I have been so good to you Jared...”

  “You have put me through hell, and now Caroline too. Do you know we had to sneak her out of there today because of the crazy paparazzi and stalkery fans? And don't even try to deny it was you, we traced the IP.”

  “If that homewrecking whore would keep her hands off the father of my child I wouldn't have to resort to  things like this.” I started crying again. “You leave me no choice, the way you're breaking my heart by carrying on with her while I'm over here sacrificing my body and my career to grow the product of our love...”

  “Well, you might want to find a way to pick that career back up really fast because you'll get no more money from me,” Jared spat. His eyes were hard and his lips a straight, grim line. I couldn't believe he was doing this to me but I was going to make him pay the minute this baby was born. He could make all the excuses he wanted but I knew this was his son I was carrying and now I was going to make sure he was going to pay through the nose when it got here. He would come to his senses eventually and want us to be a family, he would want for his son what he didn't have, but I was going to make him beg and grovel for it now. I realized he was still holding his phone like he hadn't  ended his conversation. I bet it was that mousy loser on the line, listening in while Jared disrespected me like that.

  “Is that that bitch on the phone?” I demanded. “Did she put you up to this?” I picked up some more rocks from the parking lot and started pelting his car. “Fuck you, Caroline! You just wait, we'll see who the loser is here!” I shouted loud enough for her to hear me.

  “This conversation is over, Susan,” Jared said as he started to roll the window up. “Unless you have something to offer to change my mind, I'm not going to continue footing the bill for you while you harass Caroline and me, exclude me from every glimpse of this baby, and do everything I have asked you not to from the beginning.”

  He wasn't done with me then, not completely. I looked over to the lawyers so that I could try to plead my case and I realized one of them had his phone out, recording everything. I quickly dropped the pebbles remaining in my hand and dusted myself off. “I'm sorry,” I said. “I just get so emotional lately. It's all these hormones. It's been a very difficult pregnancy...”

  “Then we will give you some time to calm down and rethink your position. All the information you need to contact us is in that envelope.” He picked it up from the ground and handed it to me again. “Let us know when you're ready to have a rational discussion. Mr. Caldwell will take you back to your hotel.”

  I looked over at Jason, who gently took my arm. “Come on Cynn, let's get out of this parking lot.”

  He wasn't who I wanted in my corner but at least I knew I could rely on stupid, gullible Jason. He led me back to his old beater car while I dried my tears. Imagine my shock when I saw Sasha Nowitski, Caroline's dorky old science nerd friend sitting in the front seat. “What the fuck is she doing here?”

  “Oh hey,” Jason said with a smile. “You remember Sasha from high school, right? She's my girlfriend now.”

  I gritted my teeth but the smiled sweetly. “Oh I'm sorry, I'm afraid I don't remember you at all,” I lied. “But I am going to need you to switch to the back seat. I have a little too much trouble getting up and down these days,” I added, patting my protruding tummy.

  Sasha smiled back. “Oh, of course, I should have realized, what with all the weight you've put on,” she replied, barely suppressing a giggle. She shimmied over the back of the seat and I gave her a nasty glare before sliding into the passenger seat.

  After Jason shut the door and stepped away I had a clear view of Jared's truck again, and the lawyers were all standing by his side of the car, deep in discussion. You may have won this hand, Jared, I thought, but I am going to make you pay dearly for the way you disrespected me today. He thought he was holding all the cards again, but as I circled my hand over my now significant baby bump, I knew that no matter what kind of show he put on, I was holding the only card that mattered. Our son. The thing that would bring Jared back to me and banish Caroline from my life forever.

[beckylower]

In my last post, we left Evelyn Nesbit at the peak of her career as a model, showgirl, and sex symbol of the new century. Though her virtue had been stolen through trickery and rape by the much older Stanford White, nonetheless they began an affair that lasted about a year. Even more surprising, their relationship survived the end of the affair. He continued to support Evelyn and her family in the style befitting a goddess adored by the media of the day. Evelyn’s life became quite glamorous as wealthy and/or famous suitors presented themselves and her career continued to expand. Into this complicated mix of fame and sex appeal stepped a young man of dubious character wholly unsuited to marry anyone, much less a girl with Evelyn’s history.

Harry Kendall Thaw (February 12, 1871-February 22, 1947) was the son of Pittsburg coal and railroad magnate William Thaw. From an early age, Harry exhibited the warning signs of a violent and paranoid personality. His own mother declared he had been so in the womb. As a boy, he did not remain in any given school for long because his behavior was unacceptable and his teachers despaired of being able to teach him. His family name got him into the University of Pittsburg and then Harvard. He was to read law at Harvard, but spent his time in pursuits that had nothing to do with academics. By his own admission, he “majored in poker” instead. He also chased women and participated in binge drinking. He was expelled from Harvard after being arrested for threatening a cab driver with a shotgun. It appears Harry was a young man who never suffered the consequences of his choices, and as a result, never learned to control his emotions and actions. With his academic career over, Harry continued spending time in his preferred pursuits, but added cocaine and other recreational drugs to his list of debaucheries.

Harry became aware of and then obsessed with Evelyn because of an interest he shared with the much older Stanford White, an interest in beautiful, young show girls. Harry attended at least forty performances of The Wild Rose, in which Evelyn had a speaking part. He sent flowers, cards, letters, and gifts. He introduced himself as Mr. Monroe. At first, Evelyn rebuffed his advances, but eventually she agreed to start seeing him. Harry worked to impress both Evelyn and her mother ultimately revealing his true identity, which both Nesbits found very satisfactory.

Harry took mother and daughter to Paris, where he managed to convince the older woman to return to New York. From Paris, Thaw and Evelyn traveled on through Europe, Harry all the while pressing Evelyn to become his wife. She rejected his proposals until they reached Germany. During their stop at Katzenstein Castle, Evelyn revealed the true nature of her relationship with Stanford White. She explained being drugged and raped, which even the worldly Harry found shocking. Since she was no longer a virgin, she felt unworthy of being Harry’s wife. Though he promised she would never be subjected to such again, one must wonder if Harry blamed Evelyn in part for what happened with White or perhaps it was that she went on to have an affair with White after the rape. It could not have helped that Thaw already had a seething hatred of White. Whatever his reasons, Thaw kept Evelyn locked in a castle room for two weeks where he repeatedly beat her with a whip and raped her. Despite this, the girl returned with Harry to the States and eventually married him in April 1905, later saying, “I was so sorry for him. And…we’d been so terribly poor.”

Artist’s drawing of the shooting.

The seeds of Harry’s hatred for Stanford White were planted long before he began his relationship with Evelyn. Over the years, White had snubbed Harry at social gatherings and had blackballed him from several clubs. Given Harry’s nature, this proved most unwise. Harry did not let grudges go lightly. Layer over this the knowledge that White had “gotten there first” with his wife and Harry’s anger continued to heat until it boiled over on the night of June 25, 1906 during a performance on the roof of Madison Square Garden. In full view of the audience, Harry shot White in the head, killing him instantly. The show did not stop immediately because pranks were common fare in shows at the time. It was not until ladies in the audience screamed upon realizing that part of White’s skull was exposed and there were powder burns on his skin that the singing stopped. A witness told the New York Times that upon learning White was dead, Harry stated, “Well, I made a good job of it, and I’m glad.” The same witness reported Evelyn running to Harry, kissing him, and saying, “I didn’t think you would do it in this way.”

Thaw went on trial in February 1907 amid a tabloid frenzy. A selection of newspaper front pages from across the country have been digitized by the Library of Congress.  They demonstrate how widespread public interest was in the “Crime of the Century.” It comes as no surprise that for the first time in U.S. history, the jury was sequestered.

During the proceedings, Evelyn took the stand and testified regarding White’s rape of her when she was sixteen. The L.A. Times reported that the Thaw family offered to give Evelyn one million dollars to testify on her husband’s behalf with the condition that he was acquitted. As witnesses for the prosecution, a parade of women testified to Harry’s mistreatment of them which included sexual assault and use of a pearl handled whip. The Thaw’s housekeeper, Mrs. Susan Mueller, testified that she had for a time acted as a procurer of young women for Harry and had seen him abuse them in the way other witnesses described. Further testimony revealed that Thaw had hired private detectives to harass White for fear he was still having an affair with Evelyn. The L.A.Times further reported that White had gone so far as to hire bodyguards and planned to file charges against Thaw.

While on trial, Harry was denied bail and remained in the Tombs, Manhattan’s  Detention Complex, where he was afforded many privileges because of his position and wealth.

He dined on steaks and wine catered by Delmonico’s, slept in a bass bed, wore his own clothes, and enjoyed clean, starched linens on table and bed.

The trial ended in a hung jury in April 1907. During his second trial, Harry pled temporary insanity, was found not guilty by reason of insanity, and committed to Matteawan State Hospital for the Criminally Insane in New York. In 1910, Evelyn gave birth to a son, Russell William Thaw, who she claimed was conceived during a conjugal visit at the asylum. Harry denied the boy and never accepted paternity. His confinement at Matteawan was to have been for life, but his lawyers were not finished. They filed a writ of habeus corpus, which was denied. At that point, it is believed his mother arranged for him to simply walk out of the asylum. He fled to Canada, but was extradited back to the U.S. and Matteawan. In 1915, he was granted a third trial where he was found no longer a danger and was released. Evelyn and Harry divorced in 1915, as well, and all financial support for Evelyn ceased. She was left to make her way as best she could. Unfortunately, none of his experiences effected any of the desired changes in Harry. He was arrested for nearly beating a boy to death on Christmas Eve 1915. He was found insane and committed to Kirkbride Asylum in Philadelphia until April 1924.

After his release, Harry moved to Clearwater, Virginia where his neighbors viewed him as an eccentric, but harmless individual who served in their volunteer fire department. Harry died of a heart attack while in Miami in 1947. He left Evelyn $10,000 (about $115,000 today) or 1% of his total wealth.

As for Evelyn’s later life, she returned to the stage and later performed in a few silent films. She had a second brief, unhappy marriage to a dancer, Jack Clifford. They married in 1916; he left her in 1918; she divorced him in 1933. Their marriage could not survive Evelyn’s notoriety and the public’s refusal to see her as anything other than the wife of a playboy killer and featured witness in the Trial of the Century. She never again achieved the success she experienced as a teenager. In 1926, there was a rumor of a possible reconciliation with Thaw. He visited her in a Chicago hospital after her suicide attempt and they were photographed together, but nothing came of it. She served as a technical advisor for the 1955 film The Girl in the Red Velvet Swing, a highly fictionalized version of her life with White and Thaw, for which she received $10,000. She was not pleased with the portrayal of her relationship with White, saying the film made it seem she had seduced White. Evelyn died in a California nursing home in 1967 at age 82.

Related Reading

  Resources

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4906724/Trial-20th-Century-Evelyn-Nesbit-supermodel.html

https://murderpedia.org/male.T/t/thaw-harry.htm

https://allthatsinteresting.com/evelyn-nesbit-stanford-white-harry-thaw

http://evelynnesbit.com/plot.html

https://www.famous-trials.com/thaw/405-home

http://law2.umkc.edu/faculty/projects/ftrials/thaw/evelynstory1.html

https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn84026749/1906-06-26/ed-1/seq-1/#words=Harry+Thaw+Stanford+White+kills+Mrs+Evelyn+Nesbit+Thaw+JEALOUS+RAGE+jealousy+revenge+wife

Linda Bennett Pennell is the author of five published works of historical fiction. Her latest, a gothic romance entitled All That Glitters, can be found here on Amazon.  Set in  the Glided Age, it tells the story of Sarah Anne, a young woman who finds her true purpose in a most unexpected place.

Murder in the Time of Robber Barons: the Goddess, the Architect, and the Millionaire, Part II In my last post, we left Evelyn Nesbit at the peak of her career as a model, showgirl, and sex symbol of the new century.