#her new comic outfit has SO MANY KNIVES

[critter-of-habit]

Wait a minute.....

[speckle-the-crow]

Tonnyjul drabble/oneshot I wrote late at night and hardly proofread that I'm not gonna post on ao3 (it has 0 plot and was just writing practice for me)

Wordcount: 1.2k words

Again, this fic has 0 plot. I wrote this to practice on writing more descriptive scenes. In the future, I might add in this or certain lines into other fics because there's some stuff I really liked in this!

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The sound of the knife tip snapping off and clattering to the dirt ground was enough to make Julia cringe. As if that wasn’t enough, the collective gasp of the audience finalized it. She already knew this memory would keep her up many nights (if the others weren’t enough already). 

“Why are you still upset? It’s alright, nobody remembers it now.” Tonny hummed after the two got backstage. He was taking off the green costume he wore during the performance. It was a slight workout taking off the clothing, as it stuck tightly to the skin with the help of the circus heat. He replaced it with a just as equally ugly outfit for his clown act. 

“Because it’s embarrassing! I screwed up the one performance I have in front of the crowd. Did you not hear the gasp?”

Tonny shrugged, putting on some oversized shoes. “Accidents happen. The good news is nobody got hurt.”

Julia muttered something to herself about her hat being too big to see rightly.

“It’s over now. The sooner you can stop thinking about it, the better.” He told her softly.

Tonny was well familiar that when Julia got upset, she often lashed out, little things easily adding to her mood. How she blew up at him when they first officially met and then again when he found her running around in Aspett. He could tell that another anger strike was coming. 

“I don’t think it’s that bad. The outfit fits you.” Tonny smiled at her. 

“Are you saying I have a big head?” Julia growled. 

“What!? No, I just think the whole… mushroom thing looks nice on you.” He awkwardly waved his hand towards her. Well, shit. 

“Mushroom thing?” Julia stared at him. Looks nice on me??

“You look like a fairy- in a magical way. The makeup, the ear extensions, just everything. If you’re not comfortable wearing the outfit, we can change it. My top priority is that everyone feels comfortable.”

Julia stared at him, picking up on his awkward and nervous stammering.

“I’m not saying it’s bad- but don’t keep the outfit if you don’t like it…”

She rubbed her face with a tired sigh as the ringleader kept rambling on and tuned him out. Gosh, he was really getting on her nerves. All this time Julia was wondering how she’d kill Tonny when in the end, she was sure she was going to strangle him. She did not have it in her to deal with his awkwardness, whatever made him more boyish near her. 

“And what about you? You like that outfit?” She half-snapped at Tonny, who was almost completely changed into the clown costume. The only thing missing was the face paint. 

“What about it?” Tonny looked down at his outfit, observing his large shoes and puffy pants.

“For starters, the god-forsaken shoes.”

Tonny once again re-shifted his gaze towards the large shoes. He was so happy he finally found comically large shoes that fit him rightly and didn’t make a noise when walked. Seeing as how the whole circus was slowly falling apart (from crew members to knives), Tonny felt like the shoes were one of the best things the circus had to show. 

“I like them.” Tonny tapped his foot on the ground softly, grabbing white face paint.

“Not surprised.” She muttered, sitting down on a crate.

A second passed when it clicked what she said. “Rude. They’re meant to be like this.”

“Did you willingly offer to be a clown?”

“Is that supposed to be an insult?”

“No. I’m genuinely curious about how you got stuck with that act.”

“Well, when we became a circus- you remember Dotty’s story from a month or so ago, right? Anyways, we started filling in basic roles. Silk dancers, fortune tellers, clowns, you understand it. And nobody wanted to be a clown and I got forced into it because I’m the leader.”

“Leader and a clown? Which one is easier?” Julia chuckled.

Tonny held back a tired sigh. It’s like she’s becoming more like Sahed every day. I don’t like her spending time with him. 

“They’re both hard in their own ways. But also similar.” Tonny answered, trying to play off Julia’s sharp tongue to be because of a certain ah’kon. Telling himself that’s why he’s slightly hurt overhearing her talk like him. Not because of the time she spent with Sahed slowly made her change the way she spoke and acted.

Wasn’t there an old saying that if someone likes another person, they adapt to become more like them? The ringleader glanced around, looking for the makeup brush. 

“It’s in the drawer. Dotty cleaned everything and moved stuff around.” Julia had taken off her hat and was running her hand over the gills of the fake mushroom. This was now a common ritual and she’d quickly learn the order of his costume transformation.

Tonny opened one of the drawers and saw a brush with bristles slightly stained blue roll around. He grabbed the brush and the face paint, making eye contact with Julia in the old, stained mirror. The exaggerated red blush, the white freckles, the pointed ears. She looked like a fawn who’d just woken up in a field of flowers. It was a sight he wouldn’t mind seeing every day- he sometimes stole a glance at her during performances. Julia stared back at him, a tired but soft look in her eyes. Tonny felt himself become a bit lighter due to the softness in her gaze. Maybe Sahed hadn’t fully influenced her. Maybe there was some part of her that Tonny could find, a part that could be just for the two.

Realization struck Tonny as he realized that he’d been staring. He quickly applied the eye makeup, glad that the white face paint was thick enough to cover the slight burning on his cheeks. He hurriedly finished the blue face paint and the red nose (he refused to wear an actual nose accessory, as it made it hard to breathe with all the running around) and tossed on his wig in a quick motion, fixing it slightly to be more centered. Julia had watched this process multiple times- the way that Tonny was able to change from ringleader to knife-throwing performer to a ginger clown had always impressed her. It seemed each costume had their own personality too.

“The show must go on,” Tonny nodded, walking out of the tent swiftly. Every time he put on the wig he would exit the tent repeating those same five words. Julia thought that it was likely the equivalent of sweeping a bunch of items off a large table and laying out a map to explain a plan- something she’d always see the kids pretend-play in the schoolyard. It likely made the ringleader feel cool.

“The show must go on,” Julia repeated to herself, putting the hat back on. She should really pick up the knife remnants before a kid tried to swipe it as a souvenir. 

[turtlethon]

"Return of the Shredder"

Season 2, Episode 1

First US Airdate: November 26, 1988 First UK Airdate (Hero Turtles version): January 3, 1990

Shredder re-emerges from Dimension X with a plan to frame the Turtles.

Turtlethon continues with a look at "Return of the Shredder", the first episode of season 2 of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987). A memorable and historic episode in many ways, so apologies in advance if I go on a bit! This one is a story by season one's writers David Wise and Patti Howeth, but with a writing credit for Christy Marx.

"Return of the Shredder" is the first episode to air on the BBC in the UK as Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles at the beginning of 1990, opposite Mr Majeika on ITV; The TV scheduling equivalent of being the first jobber to lose to Goldberg.

For most UK kids, this would have been the first piece of Turtles media they'd ever seen. And without any knowledge of S1, it raises a lot of questions. As mentioned in the "Turtle Tracks" recap, things like the comic adaptation and trading cards would do a lot of heavy lifting to fill in the gaps. The other notable thing is there's STILL a lot of ninja content in this episode, and some weapons use. It was largely edited out of the Hero Turtles version but the BBC took it upon themselves to make at least one additional edit.

2021 UPDATE: When I first revisited this episode in January 2020, I only had access to a German dub of the Hero Turtles version for comparison purposes. Since then I’ve been able to acquire multiple English language VHS releases of the TMHT edit of Return of the Shredder, so I’ll discuss the changes made in a separate post.

This episode opens with Michelangelo and Leonardo witnessing a robbery while shopping for groceries. They make short work of the crooks and after making their escape, April interviews the cashier about the incident for the Happy Hour News.

The German dubbers took some interesting liberties when they adapted the above interaction between April and Burne Thompson.

USA version

APRIL: They're heroes, I tell you!

BURNE: Bushwa!

German dub

APRIL: They're heroes, I tell you!

BURNE: BULLSHIT!

This episode includes the first appearance of Burne's girlfriend Tiffany, whose shtick is that she finds turtles disgusting. She considers anyone that defends them a "lousy turtle lover".

(Tiffany definitely went on to become one of those MAGA blondes that has a selfie of themselves in the car wearing giant shades as their userpic)

We then get a scene where the Turtles explain at length their connections to Splinter and Shredder, no doubt much to the relief of anyone watching the Hero Turtles run.

One of the first major turtle mix-ups here, where Raph is depicted talking at length but has Leo's voice. There's a way better one later on in this ep though.

Splinter has a vision that Shredder is about to return. I'd forgotten about this aspect of his character, where he has some vague mystical sixth sense about things and isn't just a wise old man that got turned into a rat. I kinda hate it to be honest.

Krang teleports Shredder to Central Park(?) where he's approached by two knife-wielding muggers, all of which remains intact in Hero Turtles. Why are nunchucks verboten and knives aren't? Your guess is as good as mine...

Shredder sees off the muggers by chopping a branch off a tree that kinda falls in front of them. They're so impressed that they give all THEIR money to HIM and run away.

This isn't even the only time in this episode that he gets people on-board by just wrecking up the place.

At the Slash-For-Cash Dojo, Shredder encounters Smash, voiced by Peter Cullen in sadly his only TMNT '87 appearance.

Ironically, Smash looks nothing like Smash from famous WWF tag team Demolition (Barry Darsow) but kinda does resemble his partner Ax (Bill Eadie).

Persuasion, the Shredder Way:

1) Walk in to someone's place of business and announce you're in charge now

2) When they object, destroy their property

3) Everyone will be so impressed they'll immediately fall in line

London, Tokyo, Paris, Washington. I'm impressed that Channel 6 is apparently so well-connected, considering we typically only ever see about four people working there

Over an unspecified amount of time Shredder turns Smash's useless students into super ninjas. They're all presented with spiffy turtle shell tunics.

WHO MADE THESE? Was Shredder up all night on the sewing machine meticulously crafting turtle outfits for the entire class?

The fake turtles go on a crime spree that mostly involves Smash karate-chopping cash registers and kicking bank vaults while the others watch, making the time Shredder spent training his pupils seem completely worthless. This soon makes the news, and the Turtles end up being blamed.

Shredder breaks into the asylum where Baxter is being held and they escape. They don't take the guy who thinks he's Napoleon with them, and frankly the rest of the series will be a little worse off as a result.

April's Turtlecom has a tiny satellite sticking out of the side of it.

Not a satellite dish, an actual satellite, the kind that orbits the Earth from space.

Donatello what are you doing

I love this scene where the animation just flakes out.  

Raphael = Leonardo

Leonardo = Leonardo

"Something strange has happened, now there are TWO Optimus Primes!"

5.1 billion people on Earth in 1988, and only two of them could teach a person this very nuanced method of kicking a door in.

Bizarrely, these lines of dialogue from Burne and April were sampled in Turtle Rhapsody Remix (from the 1990 TMNT movie soundtrack).

A recurring theme of the series later on will be that Shredder doesn’t know where the Turtle Lair is located, but Baxter just found it six episodes in. I guess they had to relocate after this.  

Our heroes soundly defeat Smash’s minions and grill him for info. He tells them where Shredder is, and they’re on their way.

The whole thing ends with the Turtles tracking down a kidnapped Splinter, some convoluted hi-jinks involving Baxter's rat-catcher and a battering ram, and the bad guys getting away. Pretty standard stuff.

April exposes the Crooked Turtle Gang as imposters. An infuriated Tiffany demands Burnsie debate her in the free marketplace of ideas.

The show ends with the turtles arguing about who April was winking at in her news report, only for her to break reality by responding from within the TV that it was intended for Splinter.

“Return of the Shredder” is a notable outing in a number of ways, particularly given that it ended up being the de facto first episode of Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles. Putting that aside, it also expands on some ideas developed in the first season about the media shaping the public perception of the Turtles, something that we’ll see more of in the future (in “Turtles on Trial” next season, for example). The idea of the team being framed for crimes committed by someone else will pop up again even sooner, in “Invasion of the Punk Frogs”.

Sadly, neither Peter Cullen nor Smash will appear in TMNT after this. Other Transformers alumni will appear in guest roles throughout the series though. One character introduced here who will return is Tiffany, who we’ll see again next season.

As I alluded to previously, this episode was heavily edited to bring it in line with the BBC’s broadcast standards, in fact it might actually be the most censored in the entire run. Some of the changes made are downright ridiculous, and I’ll cover them in a future post.

[smokeybrandreviews]

End of the Joke

I don’t care for Punchline. DC is giving her this massive, undeserved, push toward something bigger, I think, and it’s frustrating to watch. Her debut is right before Joker War so I imagine she'll be a force in Gotham going forward, maybe on her own, maybe as Joker's partner, maybe as his replacement. I don't know, I don't care. What immediately strikes me is the fact that Joker’s new girl is kind of... corny. I believe that the most effective Joker is a lone Joker. A Joker allowed to be revel in his violence and depravity, free of a colorful supporting staff. That's his allure. Every other Gotham villain has henchmen or mob connections. Mr. Napier does not. Joker is a boogie man who only solicits expendable manpower in accordance with the scheme. He is an island of pure, malevolent, chaos. For me, Joker is Tyler Durden. He is the anarchist. The mass murderer. The dog chasing cars. He's an enigma that is more than the physical. Joker is Batman's opposite in every way. He is the king of Gotham's underworld, even if he chooses not to wear that broken crown and leaves the throne vacant. Joker doesn't need a second. Harley worked because she was a very different character, first introduced into a very different medium. Harls had years to develop in Batman: The Animated Series before she made the jump to the comics. Even her Ivy romance has roots in BTAS, no pun intended. Harley Quinn organically grew into a great character. Punchline, however, feels forced. She feels really try-hard. She feels disposable. I don’t know if it’s because she only has a handful of appearances but, so far, most of them have been written by her creators, which does not bode well. If they can’t get the character right, then the character will never be right and is, effectively, a wasted opportunity.

I think i dislike this chick so much because she’s a goddamn Mary Sue. Harley earned her agency after years upon years of trauma. She was manipulated, abused, and violated, by Joker. Overcoming that violence on her way to becoming a principal character of the entire DC universe, is a true story of growth with some incredibly compelling themes that have been explored at length. The Harleen we see in Mad Love is a completely different character to the Harleen we see in Birds of Prey. Hell, her first appearance way back in Joker’s Favor was perfect. She was lively, energetic, visibly traumatized, and humanized the abject horror Joker embodies. Harley feels like she’s been with the Joker for years. She fits that dynamic. Punchline does none of that. Her first appearance reads like edgelord fan fiction. Harley was more than her Harley Quinn persona. Punchline is not. Its funny to me that she references not being one of Joker’s fangirls because that’s exactly how this story portrays her.

The goth outfit. The super-crazy facial expressions. All of that big “I’m not like other girls” energy. The fact that she found the formula for Joker Venom online is just the worst. Even more egregious, the fact that she was able to modify it into a liquid form which not only inflicts more acute symptoms upon the victim, but leaves them alive for interrogation, and Joker, himself, never tried that, is borderline unbelievable. Rey Palpatine is the poster child for Mary Sues but Punchline is really giving the impostor Skywalker a run for her money. The first time i saw this chick in a comic, she fought Mercy Graves to a stalemate. Mercy f*cking Graves. Lex Luthor’s bodyguard. Harley was able to do that in the World’s Finest crossover special but she has a background in gymnastics and martial arts. Punchline is a child compared to her. She can’t be more than twenty-two years old, considering she’s still in college and that’s IF she’s a Senior. You’re telling me that this kid, who has shown no special abilities, genius level intellect, or enhanced skills, can best one of the strongest martial artists in the DC universe? More than that, she beats Harley, herself, in a fight. How??

There is no conceivable way Punchline defeats Harley in a scrap. None. Harleen’s gone toe-to-toe with Batman and even bested him a few rounds. She’s been a Suicide Squad survivor countless times. She pulled through i don’t know how many attempts on her life at the hands of the Joker and you’re telling me that Punchline, this glorified emo kid, bested her in fisticuffs, nearly killing her in the process? There’s no way. There’s no way Harley jobs that hard to anyone but, here we are. Because the writers and creators of this character are creatively bankrupt. They wanted their OC to be better so they made Harley worse. They wanted their OC to be anti-Harley, but as popular as Harley, so she had to beat Harley. That’s bad writing, man, and considering these stories are our first experiences with this character, that might be her death knell. It’s a shame because i actually think there is merit in the idea of Punchline as a character.

Punchline could have been something special, a Batgirl to Joker, so to speak. Literally just crib Batgirl’s entire origin and apply it to Joker. Disillusioned college student who derived her own persona independent of, but based upon, Joker. She’d be able to start small, committing base murders because, apparently, she has a thing for knives. Slowly gaining experience and reputation over time as a killer, as a villain, outside of Joker, eventually making her proper debut as a new force in Gotham villainy; Punchline. Show us how clever she could have been removed from Joker. Give us evidence of her ingenuity. Show us what she could do with a few drums of gas and a couple of bullets. Make her the anarchist and domestic terrorist she seems to want to be, outside of that Clown Prince choker. Imagine if she Tyler Durden’d her way through Gotham in a massive, bloody, spectacle, similar to how Joker did in The Man Who Laughs, as an homage to her inspiration. You’d have sold her lethality to the audience, put her on the level of a major Gotham threat, and made it believable that Joker would want her on his team. Instead, she poisoned a guy with a Joker Venom recipe she got of Reddit, because he was uncomfortable with her anarchist manifesto that probably bordered on hate speech, while Joker hid in her dorm room closet watching. This is the lamest origin to an antagonist, ever, especially one we're supposed to believe is an actual threat. How did editorial let this sh*t get published? I do have to give it to Tyrion and Jimenez, though. Naming her Punchline was a stroke of genius because, so far, she’s definitely been the butt of a bad joke.

[nobody-wants-ice-cream]

Everything Wrong With The Umbrella Academy. Episode 1, We Only See Each Other At Weddings and Funerals.

Some context before the cut: This is all in good fun! I wanted to do a really nitpicky re-watch of the series and found some really cool and interesting things I didn’t notice before. This is meant to have a Cinema Sins-esque tone. However, I did take off a lot more sins than Cinema Sins would have because I do genuinely like the series and the people that made it possible. So all of the good things got one sin off and all the bad things got one sin added. This is a really long post, so grab some popcorn. If there’s anything that I missed, feel free to add it!

We Only See Each Other At Weddings And Funerals

The story opens with a random scene. I know why this is important now, but for a first time viewer this is a strange Russian show with no subtitles. Sin for the fact that this opening scene could drive away audiences when they could have opened with Pogo’s monologue or the sudden birth scene. +1

Sudden birth. I know that this is what starts the whole series, but not once do these assholes discuss the implications of sudden birth. That shit is traumatic and must have induced a lot of trauma in the mothers. Sinning for trauma. +1

The russian ladies all help this poor girl. Teamwork and togetherness gets a sin off. -1

How did they get her swimsuit off enough for her to give birth without just taking the whole thing off? Did one woman happen to have a pair of scissors on her so they could cut the crotch? Because one piece suits are not that flexible downstairs. They didn’t take it off her, it’s still covering her. Sinning for lack of realism or explanation. +1

This narration should have happened much sooner. +1

Buying children. Literally buying children. And he gets seven so he buys them wholesale. Seven sins because Sir Reginald Hargreeves is a dick that bought seven children. +7

One sin off for the soundtrack now. All the songs used in this show are bops! -1

Ellen Page starts playing the Lindsey Stirling Phantom of the Opera piece on the lowest string when the piece starts on a high note. One sin for lack of musicality. +1

Minus one sin for Ellen Page’s vibrato. Not many people pretending to play the violin get that so accurate. That or this was the talented body double. Either way one sin off for musicality. -1

“Please send more food” Reginald Hargreeves is a dick to his adopted children. He didn’t feed Luther enough, so who knows what he did to the ones he didn’t like as much. +7

Also, Luther has presumably spent four years in this base on the moon. Did he hit his head every morning? You would think that he would learn to duck. +1

One sin off for the moon plant. -1

I’m taking 10 sins off for the special effects of this entire series. -10

That car transition between Diego’s and Allison’s entrances was out of place. I know it’s meant to show that Allison is far away from the action. But did we really need that? It’s not shown when transitioning from the red carpet to Klaus in rehab. +1

What is keeping the lawnchair that Luther has on the moon down? It looks lightweight. Does he have it nailed to the moon? Is there now a lawnchair on the moon forever? +1

Tom Hopper is an excellent actor. He nailed the “just got the news that my father is dead” without saying a single word. -1

Diego doesn’t bother to untie the family he saves. He caused property damage and severely injured the thugs that broke in. No wonder Patch has a problem with him being a vigilante. +1

“Allison, will you wear Valentino to the funeral” +1

One sin off because Robert Sheehan has already won my heart as Klaus and he hasn’t said a single word yet. And for the little jig he does when he gets the drugs. Interesting choice, but I like it. I could be biased because I’ve watched the series already, but I don’t care. One sin off for Robert Sheehan. -1

Why was Vanya allowed to be playing to this empty theatre with spotlights on her? Does she have an arrangement with maintenance? Is that why the orchestra isn’t set up? +1

One sin off for the Hargreeves mansion. The set designers did an amazing job.-1 

Creepy shrine portrait of Five is creepy and somehow manages to not look like Aidan Gallager. This could be a stylistic choice to show that Reggie didn’t care about Five, in which case, another sin for child abuse. +1 

Creepy statue of Ben is creepy. And it doesn’t look like Justin Min or Ethan Hwang. Who is this statue honoring? +1

It has been stated that Ben’s death broke up the academy. Yet, the other four assholes stuck around for one more portrait after his death? +1

Vanya doesn’t close the doors behind her when she walks into the mansion. +1

Diego’s outfit is central to introducing his character. However, it is dumb as hell and he probably stabbed himself with the knives in the harness multiple times. Especially the ones on his back. +1

Diego is a dick to Vanya at their father's funeral. I know Reggie was a jackass, but Jesus Christ, Diego. Have some tact. I know this is meant to show that Diego doesn’t have any tact, but this is such a severe line. +1

In the first shot of Reggie’s bedroom there are 6 freaking lamps. What is he, Bella Swan? And later, there are three more. +1

David Castaneda really brings Diego to life with his interaction with Luther in Reggie's bedroom. -1

I know I already took sins off for the special effects, but Pogo deserves another two off. Special Effects team, you did good. -2

“How long has it been since Five dissapered” is the most obvious bit of exposition/foreshadowing. To the point where it reads lazy. Another option would be Vanya asking “How long has it been since” and trailing off from there. Pogo knows what happened. This is a crucial reveal, let the audience wait for it a bit. +1

One sin off for Vanya being a good sister to Five. Fluffernutter sandwiches and leaving the lights on is heartwarming.  -1

Props to these child actors for being able to portray the way Reggie treats them and how that affects their emotions in the scene where they wanted to say goodnight to Reggie. -1

However, Reginald Hargreeves is a dick to his adopted children. I will keep sinning this. +7 

After Reggie shuns and ignores his children, Luther’s hand on Ben’s shoulder is a subtle way to show that Luther and Ben were sort of close, which is what an excerpt from Vanya’s book implies in the comics. Good job directors or actors for making that choice! -1

Robert Sheehan in the office scene. This is where we meet Klaus as an audience for the first time with dialogue, and he fucking nails it.  -1

“Thank God he’s not our real father so we couldn’t inherit those cold dead eyes! Ahh! Number Threee-” The delivery on that line is excellent. -1

Klaus’s dangly necklace that looks kind of like dog tags foreshadowing the real dog tags he wears later on in the show. -1

No way in hell Klaus’s skimpy outfit provided enough concealment for that massive box. In fact, in the shots we do see of his back, we should have seen the outline of the box. +1

Sir Reginald Hargreeves is as obsessed with lamps as he is with collecting children. His office is full of them! +1

“Do you think he wears that thing in the bathroom” “Like in the shower” “Yes, absolutely” Allison and Luther have some good interactions. This is where they really act like siblings making fun of another sibling. -1

A woman who told bedtime stories to her kid about her uncle on the moon forgets that said uncle has been on the moon and judges him when he doesn’t know about her divorce.+1 

“Rumor thing” Way to be specific, Luther. +1

Allison’s expression at the family meeting when she takes a sip of her drink. Emmy Raver-Lampman is what makes this character likeable. -1

Reginald Hargreeves was a dick to his children. The whole favorite spot thing? Yeah that. Golden child abuse victim. +7

Sir Reginald playing tennis with Hitler line. -1

Luther accuses his siblings of killing their father. Have some tact man, not at the funeral. This makes sense for the character and his circumstances, but I am still sinning it because Luther doesn’t think he did anything wrong. +1

I feel kind of bad for Luther after his siblings leave the room. Great acting on Tom Hopper’s part. -1

How did Allison get into the bank? +1

Luther straight up throws this man out of a building! That guy is 100% dead. And then he admonishes Five for being a killer later! +1

“Guns are for sissies, real men throw knives!” is a line that would only be spoken by a twelve year old that has never faced the judgement of people he isn’t related to. Also, Diego practiced this line in front of a mirror. +1

But that throw was badass, so... -1

Also, how did Klaus, Diego, Five, and Ben get into the bank as well? We only see Luther enter. And presumably Five teleported in. So were the rest already in there? +1

Five manages to jump faster than a bullet here, but in episode two he’s a lot slower when jumping from one side of the table to the other. You could make the argument that the table is in the way, but there was a human being and a bullet in the way here. +1

“Woah! That’s one badass stapler!” This is the first sin off because Aidan Gallagher can act, and it will not be the last. For all his grumpy 58 year old man, he also manages to shine while playing a young version of said grumpy 58 year old man. You would think that one or the other would be a little weak, but no he nails both performances. -1

But, how did Five switch the gun and the stapler? And why do we never see him do this again with more useful items like a briefcase or one of the machine guns used by the local commission hires? Can he only switch items with a similar mass? How does this power work? +1

Luther is the one that tells Ben that there's more guys in the vault to kill. Not Klaus who could have been like “a ghost said there's more guys in the vault”. What exactly did Klaus do on missions? He isn’t shown helping the hostages or fighting in any way. +1

“I didn’t sign up for this.” yeah Ben, like it’s a summer camp and not your abusive father buying you as an infant and then forcing you to kill people. +1

Kenny’s mom appearance. Also, the woman mixes leopard print leggings, a black dress, a square pattern cardigan, and a hat with stripes and a pom-pom. +1

“Can we go home now” Ethan Hwang had great delivery on that line. -1

Sir Reginald Hargreeves is a dick to his children. He forces 6 of them to kill, and then makes it seem like it’s all fun and games to the one he isolates. +7

When did they get coats and scarves? Did Reggie bring them coats and scarves while coming down to address the crowd? +1

Also, Reggie was on the roof of a different building with vanya! What did the kids do while they were waiting for him? Stand around and look pretty? Not likely, Ben was covered in blood. +1

Also, when did Ben have time to clean up? He is significantly less bloody in the scene where Reggie talks to the press. Yet his mask, uniform, and a bit of his jaw still have blood. This suggests he had time to wipe down. What kind of magic wipes are these that soak up and remove blood quickly and where can I get them? +1

The way the children wear their scarves show their personality. Luther has it done properly, Diego has his flapping around, Allison and Klaus have tied it fashionably, Five has it done well, but not as proper, and Ben has it done like Luthers. Well done costume people or actors who made that character choice. -1

The entire scene when Klaus attempts to summon Reggie from the afterlife. -4

I forgot that Klaus actually calls him Reggie in this scene. I thought it was just a fandom thing lmao. -1

How did Klaus clean up the ashes without leaving evidence on the bar? Did he vacuum it? +1

The cutesy fighting posters are a great set design choice. -1

Allison had her trauma tattoo refreshed at some point. It’s faded on Klaus, but on her it’s perfectly visible and stark. I’m sinning because they don’t show or tell why Allison might want to do this. +1

Also, that guitar Klaus was cuddling in a later scene, was just in the kitchen for some reason. Why? +1

Five and Ben are not part of the I Think We’re Alone Now dance party. I know it’s for plot, but come on! They don’t even have another dance party later to make up for this. +1

Diego and Vanya totally saw each other when Diego went to close the door between the foyer and the living area. +1

Luther and Vanya’s dance moves. No hate on either though because I dance like them if it isn’t swing or any other partnered dance +1

Diego, Klaus, and Allison’s dance moves. -1

Also, the song is heard all the way in the kitchen. There is no soundproofing in this mansion. +1

Luther punching down the airplane is funny. -1

David Castaneda doing those amazing dance moves in character. -1

Oh hello Five. Nice of you to show up and kickstart the plot into being something other than washed up superheroes are really sad and abused. +1

“Daddy!” -1

Why were Five’s powers affecting random objects? +1

Klaus is the only one with self preservation. “I vote for running” +1

“Does anyone else see little Number Five, or is that just me” is a great line because Klaus can see the dead. However, the dead don’t show up in massive portals, otherwise something like that would have happened when we see Dave in The Day That Wasn’t. +1

Five asks for an exact date and then Vanya gives him “the 24th” real specific, Vanya +1 

Five doesn’t close the fridge properly because that doesn’t matter in the apocalypse -1

“In the end I had to project my consciousness forward into a suspended quantum state version of myself that exists across every possible instance of time” “That makes no sense” “well it would if you were smarter” the mark of someone being smart is being able to explain concepts like this in layman's terms. If Five were as smart as he said he was, then he could have been able to come up with an analogy. That or the showmakers have no clue what they’re talking about and wrote a bunch of science-y bullshit to make Five sound smart. +1

Diego was ready to throw hands with Five, someone who looks thirteen and was thirteen until Five explained otherwise. +1

“Dolores kept saying the equations were off” so in other words, Five knew that his equations were off, but he still risked it. +1

But also, Five knew his equations were off, but he was so desperate to see his family that he risked it anyway. -1

Nations Gazette paper has articles that look like they’re actually about the headline. -1

“What part of the future do you not understand.” -1

Aidan Gallagher’s delivery in that scene really set the tone for his character. Impressive. -1

Five decides to dress in the full on school boy getup. Complete with the tie and the blazer when those items aren’t necessary. +1

Aidan Gallagher and Ellen Page are two kick ass actors. They play off each other surprisingly well. -1

“You mean like what happened to Ben” “Was it bad?” What happened to Ben? This remains a sin until they explain it. +1

“May the darkness within you find peace in the light” that sounds really bad. What a horrible thing to have on your statue. +1

Jordan Claire Robbins’s performance of Grace -1

Luther and Diego are so emo that they don't need umbrellas. You’re in The Umbrella Academy! This had to be a personal choice to not carry one. +1

Klaus’s face when Luther dumps out the ashes. -1

The camera cuts to Five when Diego says that Mom gave them actual names. -1

The fight between Luther and Diego is stupid. +1

Klaus and Five fight over who is going to protect who. +1

“Stop it!” “Hit him! Hit him!” -1

The detail on Ben’s statue. It shows his toe and knee have been touched many times by people who presumably miss him and love him. -1

Luther punches Ben’s statue in the crotch, which makes Klaus’s face 10x funnier once you remember that Ben was probably there too. -1 

Luther punches Ben’s statue in the crotch and beheads it, suggesting that Luther had something to do with Ben’s death. -1

Luther punches Ben’s statue in the crotch. +1

Klaus puts his cigarette out in reggie’s ashes. -1

Reggie narration +1

Reggie is a dick to his kids +7

The stupid, bright green jumpsuits +6

What is the point of this exercise? How does running up the stairs make them better heroes? +1

Young Diego either practiced “That’s not fair, Five’s cheating” or his stutter is only there when the plot calls for it. +1

Child Abuse tattoos +12

The fact that Vanya feels left out because she didn’t get a child abuse tattoo. Reggie, you fucked up these kids real bad. +2

We think that Reggie is comforting Luther after he got a child abuse tattoo, but no, he’s actually just attaching monitors to his head. +1

Reginald Hargreeves likes to watch young children sleep. +7

Vanya foreshadowing. Her monitor showing more activity then the cut to her taking one of the pills is brilliant. -1

Vanya still doesn’t close the academy door behind her when she leaves. +1

“An entire square block, 42 bedrooms 19 bathrooms” Five are you a real-estate agent now? +1

“Dad hated children too, but he had plenty of us!” Klaus would be excellent at cinema sins. Seven more for child abuse +7

What are the rules to Five’s jumps? We only really see him jump to places he can see unless he is time traveling or in the instance where he jumps to the car. Speaking of, the car had the keys in it. Reggie, are you trying to get it stolen  +1

Diego is a dick to Allison about her divorce. +1

Klaus and Diego’s interactions make me happy. -1

The Klaus theme is a wonderful piece of music. -1 

Robert Sheehan making David Castaneda laugh. -1 

We get our first glimpse of Luther’s arm here. It’s super weird and vague and only teases the reveal. This is where the ape reveal should have been for the audience and where it would have made sense. Doing the reveal in a later episode is weird. +1

Five doesn’t know how to break correctly, which contradicts “I know how to do everything” +1

Something I just noticed, Five completed the uniform not only with the tie and blazer, but with the hair gel too. +1

The towing guy chooses to sit next to Five at an empty counter. +1

Five looks so offended when Agnes refers to him as “the kid” -1

The creepy smile Five pulls in an attempt to look innocent doesn’t make Agnes scream in terror. Seriously Aidan Gallagher, what the fuck was that that was absoulutely terrifying. +1

+1

Five attempts to relate to a man that looks the age that he should be, but it ends up exceedingly awkward because Five looks 13. +1

The tow truck driver helps him out, but how was Five going to pay for his coffee? We don’t see him with money. Was he just going to jump out to the car? +1

Five never gets his cup of coffee :( +1

“Istanbul was Constantinople/ Now it’s Istanbul not Constantinople”. This whole scene is great. Five plays with them like he did in the bank scene which shows that even if he did age, he didn’t do it around people so he doesn’t have maturity. -1

Five stabs a guy with a mop and kills him. -1

Five stabs a guy in the crotch with a pencil, then uses the same pencil to stab him in the eye. In between he throws a plate at another guy. This is badass. -1

Five jumps in a way that actually does make two of the idiots shoot each other. Which means that technically, Patch was right. -1

Five kills a man with his bare hands. -1

But he stops to put his fucking tie back on. +1

And yet after all that, the goriest thing is when Five pulls the tracker out of his arm.  Props to the makeup department  and Aidan Gallagher’s acting skill for making that look so real. -1

Five should be way sweatier when he walks out of Griddys. Unless he moped that up with some napkins? What are these super absorbent napkins and where can I buy them? +1

Agnes should be far more traumatized. And definitely shouldn’t have survived that. +1

Diego is emo with the monocle. +1

Luther flashback narration. +1

Klaus, thankfully interrupts this. -1 

“Number 6 “Ben” (deceased)” -1

We can see Ben depending on if it’s Klaus or Diego talking. -1

The vigilante mask Diego wears +1

Five jumpscare in Vanya’s apartment. +1

“Rapists can climb” yes Five. Continue with the criminals that can climb. Including you. +1

This whole scene is the best ending to an episode in the entire season. -1

Aidan Gallagher and Ellen Page play off each other with subtle expressions. This acting talent is amazing. -2

“The world ends in eight days and I have no idea how to stop it” “I’ll put on a pot of coffee” roll credits. I love this ending for many reasons. It’s a total mic drop moment. -2 

Overall review:

While actively looking for nitpicky things, I got to see the first in a whole new light. Both the great parts and terrible parts stood out in a way that they didn’t when I wasn’t looking for them. Robert Sheehan, Aidan Gallagher, and Ellen Page were the stand out actors in this episode. All three contributed something significant that didn’t heavily rely on the script writers. 

The child cast also really stood out to me. All seven of them had very limited screen time (I am counting Gallagher playing a child version of his character in this assessment) and they absolutely made the best of it. Out of all of them, Ethan Hwang stood out to me because of his overall great delivery. I hope that we see him play Ben in a more in-depth way in season 2. 

Don’t get it twisted, I genuinely like this series and I think that it tells a great story. I just think it’s fun to nitpick and look deeper. After over analyzing everything else, it’s time to get back to basics. Especially because the season 2 trailer could drop any day now. 

Total: 82 sins

Sentence: Tennis with Hitler and Sir Reginald. 

[scone-lover]

@findingniamho​

HAHAHAHA thank you so much for this ask!!! ❤️ This is exciting. Honestly the Egghead fight was one of the most entertaining scenes to write. (Coming up with all the puns was an egg-celent time.) Rereading it just now was like an out of body experience 😂 

Link to the original chapter here - passage & commentary below the cut!

So I have to start with how this scene was born. This is a Simon scene. He’s had a couple fight scenes with Vampire, but I wanted to show him off as the superhero of the city. What was he doing before Vampire appeared on the scene? What are his strengths and weaknesses? Despite the scene’s silliness, it’s also one of the first where we start to get a sense of what Mayor Mage is up to. 

So I knew I wanted him to do the typical defending-the-city thing, and showcase him and Penny as the dread companions power duo.

Besides the plot stuff, my main goal was to make this scene as ridiculously, stereotypically comic book-ish as possible. 😂Hence, Egghead the Villain.

Most of the credit for Egghead goes to my friend -- they’re really into DC and helped me with a lot of the plot stuff in this fic and making things semi-realistic. (Every time you read a clever plot point, it was probably them. 😂) For this non-Vampire fight, my friend suggested a gangster who was doing crimes and bribing the police. Hence this exchange--

“Okay, okay, um-- fuck. Did you call the police?” She huffs. “Yes, and I think they’ve been fucking bribed, because they pretended they didn’t even know who Egghead was! Can you believe that?”

I made him a repeat villain because honestly, I just thought it was more compelling that way. They know who he is already, Simon can grumble about him, they have egg-themed quips at the ready, etc. 😂 

As for the name, Egghead. I love how it came together because Simon is a baker, and I was able to work a couple baking jokes in there eventually. But in reality, it was me begging my superhero expert friend (named t below) to help me out with crafting this villain and coming up with some witty exchanges. A transcript of our conversation with the brainstorming and some of the rejects--

t: the gangster has a nickname right? he has to if he’s a supervillain t: make it a gimmick t: like if he has a red outfit call him mr. red or something t: he has a flamethrower and call him dragon (this made it in, later) me: Vampire already has a flamethrower t: they can be forced to fight him together me: Vampire is at home studying bc he’s a NERD t: ok he can be bald and simon can call him egghead me: THANKS I HATE IT t: simon throws him on the ground at the end of the fight - that was over-easy me: I hate you where do you get this shit t: I mean it’s typical superhero stuff t: he wears yellow and white and deals crack me: This fic is so food themed I love it t: that’s your villain. that’s it. t: listen, if the Flash can have an ice skating villain, YOU CAN HAVE EGGHEAD. And he was born.

(And yes, The Flash does have an ice skating villain. AND SHE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE ICE POWERS.)

Okay, let’s do this! Warning that this is definitely going to go through more than 500 words of the chapter. 😂 

Men dressed in black suits with bright yellow pocket squares. And larger men around the perimeter, wearing grey and holding flashlights. It looks more like a business transaction than anything; there are briefcases and money being passed back and forth, hands being shaken. “Hey!” I call. There are six men, and they all turn to stare at me, and then make a run for it. The flashlight beams dart wildly and I hear a few of them clatter to the floor. Everyone starts yelling at once and looking for an escape.

I basically watched an episode of Brooklyn-99 and crafted the warehouse drug deal based on that. 

“Don’t move. There’s only one exit,” Penny says in my ear. “And you’re standing in front of it.” I stand my ground, but no one comes near me. The suited guys stay slightly behind the muscular ones. Finally, one of them steps forward. “Mage’s Head Boy. Come to tell us off?”

This scene was also an opportunity to have Penny in Simon’s ear! I wanted them to work together more closely than just talking about superhero stuff - I wanted Penny to be invaluable to Simon’s superhero success and in on the action, too. She’s kind of modeled after Oracle from Batman throughout this fic. 

Mage’s Head Boy is a pretty transparent CO reference. 

There are times when I’m grateful for my ability to just have muscles and growl at people and make them disappear, and there are times when I wish I was witty like Vampire. This is definitely the second. I can’t think of a response to that. Luckily, I have a best friend with a head full of wit. “Tell them to fuck off,” Penny says. Then again, maybe not. What would Vampire say? I get hot and frustrated in the face of danger. He seems to get cooler the higher the stakes get. I fall into a fighting stance. “You wish.” The guy takes a step backwards. “But since I can’t bring you to the police, I suppose I’ll just have to teach you a lesson.” “That was good,” Penny says in my ear.

I obviously had to work a bit of Baz jealousy / crushing into this. I like the idea of Penny being super blunt. She’s smart and sometimes witty, but more often she just says it like it is. “Cooler the higher the stakes get” was a direct reference to the similar line in Carry On. With Simon’s last line - this scene was all about showcasing him as a “typical” superhero that you’d find in a comic, fighting a classic comic book villain. So I gave him one of those cheesy lines.

I’m surrounded. There must be fifteen or twenty of them. Eight huge muscular guys, and the rest in suits. They form a loose circle around me. Almost all of them wield knives, but I don’t see any guns so far.

I knew from the outset I wanted this to be a one-against-many fight. At this point in the story I’d set up a good dynamic for Blade vs Vampire, but not so much Blade vs. other city threats. What makes him a trustworthy hero? Simon’s origin story is that he got news attention by fighting off a group - so putting him in this group fight setting was a chance for him to shine.

A man steps out from the shadows. He’s bald, with a straight, dark mustache, and he’s wearing a pristine white suit and a shirt the colour of an egg yolk. “Egghead,” I say in what I hope is a threatening tone. The name sounds absurd. I’m glad the mask covers my mouth, because I don’t think I can keep a straight face. Penny coughs. Benedict Eggerton, better known as Egghead, is a drug lord who wears yellow and deals… crack. (I know.) (He got into crime early; his parents were poachers.) (Okay, I made that one up. I can’t help it.) I put him in jail earlier this year, but he escaped and fled north.

I was laughing so hard while writing this. You can see in the text exchange above where the suit and nickname came from. I was trying to come up with what his first name might be (my first idea was Sunny). I was so amused when I finally thought of Benedict. 😂 The poachers line is also from my friend T, and the “north” is a reference to Scotland, which comes back later as the Scotch Egg joke.

I draw my weapon, trying to look as menacing as possible. “I remember your blade being bigger,” he says, eyeing my kitchen knife. “Is it too cold for you in here?”

PFFFFFT I LOVE THIS JOKE okay so. I originally made Simon forget his sword because I thought the fight would be too easy - and going back to what I said above, he’s kind of returning to his “roots” with this fight - that spark he has that makes him a hero. And then I wrote the line “I remember your blade being bigger.” TO BE CLEAR, this was not originally intended as an innuendo. 

And then my friend said something like ‘he should turn up the heating in this warehouse then’, and I was like OH DING DING DING PENIS JOKE! 😂I’m oblivious sometimes. I’m glad I realized in time because this is honestly one of my favorite villain lines I’ve ever written.

I really, really wanted to give the “too cold” line to Vampire. It would be perfect for him. But Simon always has his normal sword with Vamp, so Egghead it was. And he instantly became an icon. 😂 

I twirl the knife between my fingers. “I can crack you anyway.” “Good effort,” Penny whispers. “But a bit rough on the delivery. 'Take a crack at you' might have been better...” “Sword or no sword,” I continue, “you’ll be an egg wash by the end of this.” “What?” Penny says. “Is that a baking reference?” Egghead cracks his knuckles, and his men rush me.

Much like Penny does later in the scene, I had a tab open of egg-related words up while writing this. I had to work in the baking reference. But a terrible one. There’s a French term for whisking eggs that basically translates to “beating eggs into snow” - and I wish it was a thing in English, because, you know, Simon Snow. Oh well. 😂 

I Google a list of ways to make eggs. Simon needs to win this fight, but more importantly, he needs to get some egg-themed one-liners in there to show them who’s boss. Chances like this don’t come around very often. 

Listen, Penny is very dedicated. I love the idea of heroes just being quick-witted and coming up with these ridiculous quips on demand. But ultimately, I thought it was funnier - and more in character for Penny - to do this. (Even though her Superhero name is Quickwit, oops.) She has the world of Google at her disposal. Egg puns may not seem important, but superhero image and reputation is half the battle.

Simon is being attacked from all angles, but he fights like a whirlwind. The bulky guys attack first, mostly with their fists. Simon kicks their legs out from under them. He throws them across the floor like they weigh nothing. “Behind you!” I say. Simon spins around and disarms the man behind him, twisting his arm, and I hear a shout through my earbuds. He grabs the guy’s knife and kicks him in the stomach, sending him sprawling. Simon Snow faces fifteen men with nothing but two knives, looking like he’s ready to explode.

I loved writing this from Penny’s POV. I am used to writing fight scenes from the POV of the person fighting, so this was definitely a cool challenge. It’s part of why I brought Penny into the scene in the first place - so I could show Simon in third person. Almost like we’re watching a movie and getting some overhead shots. From his POV, you don’t realize quite how awesome he is. So getting to showcase him like this was really fun.

I still have to wonder how Shepard knew… well, everything. 

Don’t tell anyone but I didn’t know yet either

“He’s Scottish,” I tell Simon. “Scotch Egg.”

I know. This one’s bad.

He’s a blur of gold and white in motion. He throws his knife—I have no idea where he learned to do that—and it embeds itself in one of the men’s legs. He rolls across the floor, picking up two more discarded knives.

I don’t do a ton of plotting/outlining with fight scenes, but one thing I decide in advance is where and how everyone gets hurt. I didn’t want Simon to win the fight too easily, but I did need to injure him somehow. So it wouldn’t be too easy, but also to serve as a counterpoint to the socks thing later.

I watched a lot of action sequences to write this fic, especially with the trickier one vs. many scenes. 

Simon tosses him like a sack of flour.

Couldn’t resist the baker!Simon reference.

“Hard or soft boiled,” I whisper. “Which way is it gonna be, Egghead? Hard or soft boiled?” Simon shouts. He whispers to me, “That was stupid.” Egghead raises an eyebrow. “Last chance to leave us alone, Blade.” I consult my list of egg dishes. “Give up before you get scrambled.” Simon twirls his blades. I love it when he does that; he looks like Deadpool. “It’s your last chance to surrender before you get scrambled.”

I loved the hard or soft boiled line at first. And then I wrote it down and said it out loud, just to check, and it sounded SO DUMB. 😂I almost took it out, but then figured—Simon is probably not going to think this through, either.

Maybe the Deadpool line was a bit on the nose here, but I wanted to give readers some really vivid imagery of what Simon looks like right now with these dual wicked blades kitchen knives.

“I prefer my eggs… poached,” he says. 

Even though Egghead has turned out to be quite a serious villain—there are guns, drugs, and a backstory—he is, after all, original master of the egg puns. He would never turn down this opportunity.

Egghead scrambles (ha) to his feet

I think Penny is just me in this.

“Over-easy,” I whisper.

“That was over-easy,” he says.

Not my best. But it had to be in there.

I’ll skip the serious bits, since the plot there is pretty self-explanatory, to this:

I wish he’d asked what we serve, because I have so many egg puns at the ready. Eggs-ecution. Hash-ing out justice. Karma served hard.  

My beta ashspren gave me this line, and I could not be more grateful. Imagine the chapter without this. It would be a shame.

Here are a few egg puns that didn’t make the cut, SADLY:

You're washed out, egghead

*Egghead gets angry* hey, it was just a yolk

I had to go "beat" some eggs

*uppercut* Sunny side UP!

I'll bash in your Eggnoggin’

Some people are just bad eggs

Sorry this is so long—this has been a purely self-indulgent experience. Thanks so much for this ask, I really enjoyed writing this and I hope you like it! ❤️ 

[recentanimenews]

Is That Another JoJo Reference?! JoJo's Bizarre Adventure References in Non-Anime Media!

In our previous article, we took a look at the many ways that various anime have paid homage to JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, from small sight-gags to extended visual parodies, the amount of creators who felt some love for the series was easy to find! But what about in non-anime media? It isn’t always easy to make a JoJo pose seem tonally correct in your video game, music video, live action  TV show, comic, or other media after all, but these creators we found had more creative and interesting ways of paying homage back to Hirohiko Araki and his amazing series. Much like our first article, we’ll be keeping these reference sightings up to Part 5 only to avoid spoiling any of the future fun, and do be warned that some of these references might be spoilers for past JoJo seasons. Overall, the range of these references varies from minor cameos and callbacks to characters and situations being developed with JoJo characters in mind, so let’s get right into it and take a look at the various non-anime JoJo references we’ve found!

It probably comes as no surprise, but musicians and JoJo go together pretty well. Many of the original names and influences for the series come from Araki’s love of various types of musical genres and artists, and it seems that they love him right back! Numerous singers and even idol groups in Japan have given the nod to their favorite JoJo poses and characters, with some even going as far as reaching out to meet Araki as superfans themselves. Hello! Project’s ANGERME and Iikubo Haruna have done various JoJo inspired poses in their blogs and choreography, even recreating the infamous “Go Go Go” SFX with their arms! The iconic Kyary Pamyu Pamyu is a huge fan of the JoJo series, often making JoJo poses in her own videos, such as in "PONPONPON," and even wearing JoJo themed merchandise, going so far as to even name one of her pet dogs JoJo.

Perhaps one of the most famous idols, Shoko Nakagawa (AKA Shokotan) is a notoriously huge fan of the JoJo series, busting out JoJo poses so often that she even injured herself doing Narancia’s pose on stage, breaking her tailbone! Her devotion has paid off, however, as Shokotan got to meet Araki to interview him! Shoko’s interview even lead to Araki making a special stand, Love Note, with an interesting origin involving... Shokotan and Jotaro’s child?! Outside of Japan, the group Starbomb included Giorno’s “I have a dream” pose in their video for “SMASH!,” with Luigi of all characters striking the iconic pose!

  Some of the most interesting homages to JoJo pop up in various video games, with some being blatantly obvious, and others needing developers to pull back the curtain and reveal their true intentions! Given the nature of JoJo’s storyline of vampires and supernatural powers, it might not be surprising at all to learn that the Castlevania series has featured numerous nods to the JoJo series throughout its legendary run. Castlevania Symphony of the Night features a Stone Mask, and it makes another appearance in Curse of Darkness. There are a few “Ora ora ora” references laced throughout various Castlevania equipments and attacks, and Dawn of Sorrow features a fight at a clock tower against an enemy named Zephyr who can stop time and throws knives… Now, where have we heard of someone like that before?

    Speaking of stopped time, the DOTA 2 hero Faceless Void seems to have some JoJo influenced nods to everyone’s favorite vampire. His ultimate ability, Chronosphere, stops time for anyone caught in it but himself for a few seconds, sure seems coincidental, but his model also adopts a similar pose to DIO’s classic WRYYYYYY! pose while casting it. In a recent update to the game, Phantom Assassin got a new splash image featuring her in Jonathan’s pose for her unique cosmetic set, the Bloodroot Guard. In Persona 5, the main character is given a choice to answer the question “What is the name of the phenomenon where the second hand looks like it stops moving?,” with one of the choices being “The World.” And in the fighting game Skullgirls, DIO is referenced numerous times between characters Valentine, Peacock, and Eliza. Valentine can stop time, Peacock drops a steamroller on her foes, and Eliza features an obvious color palette reference to DIO’s classic Part 3 outfit! The game also features Big Band, a character who has a move where he shouts “Tuba Tuba Tuba,” similar to “ora ora ora” or “muda muda muda,” depending on how you hear that in your head. Night Warriors: Darkstalker’s Revenge has a few nods to DIO as well, with a design sketch of Donovan by Takenori Kimoto posing like DIO in one of the art books; more interesting, Donovan, known for his ability to summon various spirits to aid him in battle, also has a sketch where he summons Abbachio’s Moody Jazz!

    In a series already filled with lots of crazy references and homages to other anime and video games, it probably comes as no surprise that the Danganronpa series has numerous JoJo references throughout its titles. Some of these appear in both the games and anime, such as Junko posing as DIO and her penchant for quoting “Muda muda muda,” while others are specific to the games, such as Super Danganronpa 2’s Hanamura saying he can taste if people are lying, Monokuma using a Heaven’s Door like ability, and there’s even a reference to the Bow & Arrow, called the Meteorite Arrowhead. Some other fun references include Mondo, whose hairstyle (and attitude regarding it) seem like they might be related to Josuke, a reference cemented in place when players learn that his biker gang is called Crazy Diamond! These JoJo references likely don’t come as much surprise, considering Naegi’s initial introductory comments about not having a Stand, but the dedication to weaving them into the various games, and in somewhat natural ways, is pretty impressive!

    Speaking of Polnareff, video game designers must have loved him, because aside from poses and thematic references, Polnareff’s mere existence may have had the most influence on game design of the entire JoJo series! Katsuhiro Harada, the director of the Tekken series, directly cites Polnareff as inspiration for series mainstay Paul Phoenix’s iconic hairstyle and first name. Tekken features a few other nods to JoJo, with Jin and Kazuya having gloves similar to Star Platinum’s, and Tekken 7’s newcomer Claudio not only poses like DIO, but can even equip an “Ancient Mask.” In the King of Fighters series, Benimaru Nikaido is another clear homage to Polnareff, again sporting a unique and reminscient hair style and style of dress, and in fact, Benimaru looks so much like Polnareff that developers of the game referred to him internally as “Polnareff!”

    A few other references pop up in King of Fighters, with Leona Heidern’s Earring Bomb 2: Heart Attack special move is an homage to Yoshikage Kira’s Heart Attack. Leona can either wait for the bomb to explode, or detonate it on her own, much like Kira’s Deadly Queen, and Leona’s voice line upon detonation, “You’ve lost in the end,” is similar Kira’s “You’ve lost in death” line. Another King of Fighter character, Mian, has an attack called Rangurenbu that has her shouting “Ariariariariari,” just like Bucciarati! Finally, Street Fighter’s Guile owes his creation to Polnareff, who started as the base model for the character, according to producer Noritaka Funamizu. Ironically, a dev decided to play with Guile’s sprite, and his hair spread to look a bit more like Stroeheim’s, which stuck! The name “Guile” is even a reference to “J. Geil,” Polnareff’s archenemy! Street Fighter has quite a few obvious nods, most notably Rose, who wears a nearly identical outfit to Lisa Lisa, who also hails from Venice.

    There are many more one-off references to be found in various games. Persona Q has a quick segment where the Persona 4 cast pose as various JoJo characters. The original Ninja Gaiden game decorates a stage with Stone Masks and Pillar Men, while Senran Kagura 2 has a few clothing options for Mirai that directly reference Star Platinum and The World. Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey has a reference to the Sword of Anubis with the equipment Cursed Sarai, stating that it is the “Sword of Anubis that drives victims mad,” and an attack ability called Bites the Dust, which inflicts Bomb status on a target who then explodes during their next activation!

  The Touhou Project games have numerous soft references to JoJo sprinkled throughout, with characters such as Remilia and Yuugi making a few references to the series, but the most obvious is Sakuya Izayoi. Sakuya has the ability to stop time, and throw knives! Other references might be quick and hard to miss, such as Yakuza 0’s quick and cheeky nod to the JoJo series: During a fight with a secret boss whose first name is simply “Jo,” Goro Majima (the best boy in Yakuza, by the way), thinks to himself afterwards what that “Jo” guy’s deal was and what a “bizarre adventure” it was to fight him.

  When you move away from video games and music, it’s interesting to see where JoJo references might pop up; after all, many of these mentioned were still developed by Japanese teams and artists, meaning that JoJo likely played a big part in entertaining them growing up or while they worked. But if you were to look towards American comics, you might find some odd homages! Now, one of the most infamous is a comic known as Diesel, which isn’t so much an homage as it was an adaptation (for lack of a better term; it really just takes the entire plot and renames and Americanized people and locations) of the Fool and Iggy storylines of Part 3. The comic was pretty obscure, but got attention in 2016 when the Stardust Crusaders anime hit, and became a source of some odd laughs and memes.

  For an actual homage, X-Man Annual has a page where the Hulk gains some very unique yellow armor, making him look like The World! In the Archie Comics’ Sonic the Hedgehog comics, quite a few little references found their way into the Off Panel section in the back of the book. In issue 270, Sonic and Knuckles face off (with Sonic as Kenshiro and Knuckles dressed as Jotaro) in “manliest anime” challenge, and in the first issue of Sonic Boom’s spin off comic, another Off Panel segment features Knuckles posing like Joseph, complete with a green scarf!

  Western television and web shows have also made a few nods to the series. Adult Swim’s anime inspired Ballmasterz:9009 character Chimpendale strikes Jonathan’s pose at one point. One of the most overt and direct references to the series happens in NBC’s Heroes, with Hiro Nakamura writing in his blog that he wants to “Be like JoJo and go on adventures,” with Part 3 being his favorite. Beyond a few mentions to other JoJo characters in his blog throughout the series run, Hiro’s superpower shares quite a few similarities to that of DIO and Jotaro, as Hiro is able to stop time! Even the grim, dark future of the 41st Millenium of Warhammer 40,000 isn’t safe from JoJo references, as the popular parody series If the Emperor Had a Text to Speech Device by Bruva Alfabusa on Youtube features three characters called the “The Fabulous Custodes,” who look suspiciously like a few half-naked superhumans!

    It seems that JoJo fever is worldwide, with creators from all over the world, in various media and genres, have all worked in ways to pay respect to Hirohiko Araki’s unique and wonderful series. As JoJo's Bizarre Adventure continue through Part 5 and gain more and more followers, we can only assume that these fun nods to Araki’s world will continue; we even left a few off because they’d spoil some of the fun of Part 5, so consider this just a small taste of the influence Araki has had. So while you’re enjoying the new season of JoJo, keep your eyes peeled for other references in shows you’re watching, games you’re playing, and even music you’re listening to; you never know where a JoJo reference might pop-up!

Know any other JoJo references you flipped for? Let us know in the comments!

----

Nicole is a features and a social video script writer for Crunchyroll. Known to profess her love of otome games over at her blog, Figuratively Speaking. When she has the time, she also streams some games. Follow her on Twitter: @ellyberries 

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[despairingvacation]

EXECUTION [6]: PATRICIA WATSON

The debate over who the mastermind could be raged on for some time. With all of the clues the survivors found, they tried to pinpoint who fits every clue. It had to be one of them! As they got to the last clue, Peacock was already suspected, but they were stuck on one thing: the glasses. How could that link to her?

“Oh, that’s easy!”

The tween speaks up, and all eyes were on her. Leaning forward on the podium, she smiles, saying, "It's because I got a fuckton of eyes, idiots. Y'done playing detective yet?"

Shock fell over the room. Even as they tried to calm her, saying they weren’t necessarily accusing her, she laughed. “I'm just fuckin' bored of waiting fer you all to figure out the obvious! It is me, bastards!”

Survivors and viewers alike almost couldn’t fathom it. Peacock? The mastermind? Many wanted to deny that was true, but donned in her new outfit, she can’t help but continue to keep that smug grin plastered on her face. Already asked to explain, she keeps leaning on her podium, a childlike quality now more apparent in her true persona. Her explanation begins:

Even as a child, she’s felt different from the other kids in her class. Shitty childhood aside, even the love everyone had shown her didn’t bring her comfort. Patricia Watson had a hard time feeling anything besides one thing and one thing alone: despair. It was her one way of taking control over a life that didn’t allow her to make her own decisions--in this killing game, she was the queen, and everyone was at her mercy, even if they didn’t realize it.

Hope’s Peak was boring as is. It was time to have a little fun at everyone’s expense.

Bendy, she says, was the easiest to convince to help her out. All she had to do was promise him fame and fortune, and he was in the palm of her hand. His obsession with her, however, was excessive, and the way she speaks illustrates just how disgusted she was with it all. It was all an act, she insists, saying she didn’t feel much for anyone on the island. Why would she? She’s going to have them all killed anyway, so what’s the use with getting attached?

One person, however, stood out in her explanation: Marie.

All Patricia wanted in her life was the chance to kill her best friend, but that was taken from her. It filled her with despair, sure, but it definitely wasn’t the same.

Angered by the state of things thus far, Akihiko punches her in the face. Patricia only grins, asking him to do it again. He backs down. Being promptly disowned by Totoko, she can hear Tohru say he doesn’t hold anything against her, but she staunchly ignores it. She isn’t sure what to make of that, so not acknowledging it is for the best.

Finally, she reveals one last key bit of information: she only acted accordingly with how she thought the audience would like it. The way she responded to people, the amount of emotions she showed, expressing anger and sadness at the right times… It was exactly what the viewers wanted, and they ate that shit up. She seems smug when she talks about, actually, much to the anger of the others. If she hadn’t been the cause behind everyone’s deaths, some might even call her manner of speaking cute! The cuteness is gradually replaced by confidence, seemingly not regretting a thing she had done.

Even as she explains how the audience projects on everyone that’s been involved, she’s cheerful when she mentions how she didn’t have to push anyone to develop. It was their own doing, and it was pretty entertaining!

"You know what’s better, though?"

Silence falls over the room. The mastermind is pausing for dramatic effect, and surprisingly, nobody interrupts.

"A plot twist no one saw coming. This is it! Me, the beloved comic relief, one of the fan favorites, was actually the showrunner the entire time! Boy, I bet people seeing this are screaming right now! I’d love to be able to hear it.”

Nobody else seems as amused as she does. The tween frowns, a bit disappointed. This wasn’t unexpected, but she wishes they were as easy to force into despair as Bendy was. Guess he was the traitor for a reason, eh folks?

As a vote is called, she is unsurprisingly voted the mastermind. That part wasn’t an act, at least! Peacock, Ultimate Despair, the mastermind behind the whole killing game, has been revealed to a worldwide audience, and she couldn’t be happier with the results. The grin that’s been on her face refuses to leave, and she clasps her hands, having one last thing to say:

“Well, y’know how the sayin’ goes: That’s all, folks!”

> GAME OVER

> PATRICIA WATSON HAS BEEN FOUND GUILTY.

She isn’t scared. In fact, she was prepared for this the entire time. Instead of being dragged to her execution, Peacock smiles, bowing and waving before her surviving classmates before walking to her execution.

It’s as if she’s been prepared for this the entire time. Is she… Looking forward to this? Why does she seem so smug?

> TIME FOR THE MASTERMIND’S ULTRA DESPAIR-INDUCING PUNISHMENT!

TW: Body horror, blood, gore, fire, car crashes, implied drowning and impalement, guns, knives, unsanitary, mentions of dismemberment

As everyone stands silently, they notice a projector--which had been present in the trial room all this time, funnily enough--springing to life, displaying a black & white scene before them. Jolly, happy music plays in the background, and nothing about the spectacle seems real. It’s like some poor rubber hose animator painstakingly drew this scene from scratch, and boy is Patricia living it up!

It’s fairly reminiscent of Bendy’s execution: a cartoonized Peacock exists in a toon world, her dark eyes seeming more natural in this setting than in real life. However, what seems extra familiar about this area is… She’s on a talk show? Sitting on a couch, she seems to be talking merrily with a cartoon version of Goro Akechi, who sits at the typical talk show host desk, stained with blood. The pink on his black and white attire really stands out, actually.

Smiling, Goro pushes a button, strapping Peacock to the couch she’s been talking on, but she doesn’t seem bothered. As the camera pans away from the setup (revealing it’s actually in an aquarium tank), pink fluid can be seen filling the tank from the bottom up. Goro doesn’t seem bothered in the least, looking quite amused as the area begins to fill with blood. The mastermind grins, and the footage immediately cuts away to another scene.

Standing on another stage, Peacock stands besides an impaled Hibiki Wataru, looking a little worse for wear. The tween, however, still seems as intact as ever, and possibly even more excited than before. Wataru begins to attach familiar restraints to the girl’s body, but nothing about it is forced--it’s as if he wants to do this to her. As she watches the contraption hang precariously above her, the magician pays no mind to the timer counting down before them, insisting on pulling the lever as soon as he’s able to. The girl’s laugh can be heard right before it comes crashing down onto her, and again the footage skips to something different.

Although dressed more extravagantly than the other prisoners, Peacock stands idly in her jail cell, swaying back and forth as she waits for the horn to sound. Even while restrained to a ball and chain, the mastermind has a slight sway in her step, as if she’s manipulated the ball enough to not tie her down. It’s a cartoon, remember? Jeez, keep up! Or maybe Tougou Hajime should? He’s not trailing too far behind her, bullet holes and stab wounds covering his entire body while holding a knife in his only attached arm. The thrill of the chase is one thing, but seeing reanimated cartoon versions of her classmates holding guns in her direction? That’s just absolutely despair inducing!

Like the other scenes, of course, it cuts away right before one of them gets to her. It’s difficult to tell if Tougou got to her or if one of her classmates did first.

Tied to a firetruck ladder, Peacock’s being driven by none other than Clive Dove himself! He looks worse for wear, burn scars and his half dead self apparent even in this Toontown setting. A cartoon version of Hope’s Peak is already burning to the ground, various helpless nameless students running from it. Is the mastermind taking any of this seriously? No, not really. It’s hard to tell if she even catches on fire or not considering this short clip skips right before the truck makes an impact.

Now, the scene doesn’t seem as familiar--unlike the other scenes, this one is more realistic and in color. With her feet on the dashboard, Peacock leans back in the passenger seat, grinning deviously as a half melted Bendy is taking the wheel in what appears to be the mastermind’s car. Speeding down route 66, her grin only grows wider, yelling at Bendy to “go faster!” every so often. She sits up, practically standing her seat as soon as the speedometer is well over 100 mph. They’re approaching something in the distance, and Peacock, as confident as ever, lights one last cigar as the upcoming obstacle gets closer and closer.

It appears to be a brick wall, but with one thing off about it: a comical black hole placed, as if Bugs Bunny himself placed it. Unbothered, she simple keeps standing in her seat, looking toward the hole with determination in her sick, sick eyes. Is she trying to escape!?

Yes.

She was.

It’s not until they’re mere seconds from collision does she realize it’s painted on.

If the survivors look hard enough, they can see slight fear in her eyes. Real, genuine fear. This isn’t a cartoon anymore, Patricia.

Right as the car collides with the wall, a loud, sickening splat is heard. Unlike the other times, the film reel doesn’t cut away, revealing a smashed car, ink, and a hell of a lot of blood. It’s hard to tell where Peacock even is anymore amidst the wreckage, but one thing can be said for sure: the mastermind is officially dead, and this nightmare of a killing game is over.

Finally, the presentation stops. A soft click can be heard behind Peacock’s podium, and if anyone goes to investigate, they’ll find a boat engine.

4/18 REMAIN....

[smokeybrand]

End of the Joke

I don’t care for Punchline. DC is giving her this massive, undeserved, push toward something bigger, I think. Her debut is right before War of the Jokers so I imagine she'll be a force in Gotham going forward, maybe on her own, maybe as Joker's partner, maybe as his replacement. I don't know, I don't care. What immediately strikes me is the fact that Joker’s new girl is kind of... corny. I believe that the most effective Joker is a lone Joker. A Joker allowed to be revel in his violence and depravity, free of colorful supporting staff. That's his allure. Every other Gotham villain has henchmen or a mob connections. The Joker is a boogie man who only solicits manpower in accordance with the scheme. For me, Joker is Tyler Durden. He is the anarchist. The mass murderer. The dog chasing cars. He's an enigma that is more than the physical. Joker is Batman's opposite in every way. He is the kind of Gotham's underworld, even if he leaves the throne vacant. Joker doesn't need a second. Harley worked because she was a very different character, introduced into a very different medium. Harls had years to develop in Batman: The Animated Series before she made the jump to the comics. Even her Ivy romance has roots in BTAS, no pun intended. Harley Quinn organically grew into a great character. Punchline, however, feels forced. She feels really try-hard. She feels disposable. I don’t know if it’s because she only has a handful of appearances but, so far, most of them have been written by her creators, which does not bode well. If they can’t get the character right, then the character is kind of a waste of time.

I think i dislike this chick so much because she’s goddamn Mary Sue. Harley earned her agency after years upon years of trauma. She was manipulated, abused, and violated, by Joker. Overcoming that violence on her way to becoming a principal character of the entire DC universe, is a true story of growth with some incredibly compelling themes. The Harleen we see in Mad love is a completely different character to the Harleen we see in Birds of Prey. Hell, her first appearance way back in Joker’s Favor was perfect. She was lively, energetic, visibly traumatized, and humanized the abject horror Joker embodies. Harley feels like she’s been with the Joker for years. She fits that dynamic. Punchline does none of that. Her first appearance reads like edgelord fan fiction. Harley was more than her Harley Quinn persona. Punchline is not. Its funny to me that she references not being one of Joker’s fangirls because that’s exactly how this story portrays her.

The goth outfit. The super-crazy facial expressions. All of that big “I’m not like other girls” energy. The fact that she found the formula for Joker Venom online is just the worst. Even more egregious is the fact that she was able to modify it into a liquid form which not only inflicts more acute symptoms upon the victim, but leaves them alive for interrogation. Rey Palpatine is the poster child for Mary Sues but Punchline is really giving the impostor Skywalker a run for her money. The first time i saw this chick in a comic, she fought Mercy Graves to a stalemate. Mercy f*cking Graves. Lex Luthor’s bodyguard. Harley was able to do that in the World’s Finest crossover special but she has a background in gymnastics and martial arts. Punchline is a child compared to her. She can’t be more than twenty-two years old, considering she’s still in college and that IF she’s a senior. You’re telling me that this kid, who has shown no special abilities, genius level intellect, or enhanced skills, can best one of the best martial artists in the DC universe? More than that, she beats Harley, herself, in a fight. How??

There is no conceivable way Punchline defeats Harley in a fight, None. She’s gone toe-to-toe with Batman and even bested him a few times. She’s been a Suicide Squad survivor countless times. She survived i don’t know how many attempts on her life at the hands of the Joker and you’re telling me that Punchline, this glorified child, bested her in fisticuffs, nearly killing her in the process? There’s no way. There’s no way Harley jobs that hard to anyone but, here we are. Because the writers and creators of this character are creatively bankrupt. They wanted their OC to be better so they made Harley worse. They wanted their OC to be anti-Harley but as popular as Harley so she had to beat Harley. That’s bad writing, man, and considering these stories are our fist experiences with this character, that might be her death knell. It’s a shame because i actually think there is merit in the idea of Punchline as a character.

Punchline could have been something special, a Batgirl to Joker, so to speak. Literally just crib Batgirl’s entire origin and apply it to Joker. Independent college student who derived her own persona based upon Joker. She’d be able to start small, committing base murders because, apparently, she has a thing for knives. Slowly gaining experience and reputation over time as a killer, as a villain, independent of Joker, himself, eventually making her proper debut as a new force in Gotham; Punchline. Show us how clever she could have been removed from Joker. Give us evidence of her ingenuity. Show us what she could with a few drums of gas and a couple of bullets. Make her the anarchist and domestic terrorist she seems to want to be, outside of that Clown Prince choker. Imagine if she Tyler Durden’d her way through Gotham in a massive, bloody, spectacle, similar to how Joker did in The Man Who Laughs, as an homage to her inspiration. You’d have sold her lethality to the audience, put her on the level of a major Gotham threat, and made it believable that Joker would want her on his team. Instead, she poisoned a guy with a Joker Venom recipe she got of Reddit, because he was uncomfortable with her anarchist manifesto that probably bordered on hate speech, while Joker hid in her dorm room closet watching. This is the lamest origin to n antagonist we're supposed to believe is an actual threat, ever. How did editorial let this sh*t get published. I do have to give it to Tyrion and Jimenez, though. Naming her Punchline was a stroke of genius because, so far, she’s definitely the butt of a bad joke.

[aion-rsa]

Joker: DC Comics Reading Order - The Best Stories With the Clown Prince of Crime

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Has the Joker movie inspired you to read some comics? We've got some suggestions!

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The Joker is the most recognizable villain in all of comics, and as such, there are as many takes on him as there are creators who have worked on a Batman comic. Fortunately for us, for every Jared Leto out there, there are fifteen awesome comic stories. So if you’re coming out of the Joker movie with a thirst for more good, thoughtful, interesting stories using the Clown Prince of Crime, we’ve got some comics for you.

Batman: The Killing Joke

This is probably the most influential Joker story of all time. Alan Moore’s dense psychoanalysis of the Joker is formative to just about every writer who came afterwards, and Brian Bolland’s stunningly gorgeous pencils combined with John Higgins perfect colors to create an eerie, dark, vicious story that has become the generally accepted origin for the character.

read more: The Many Joker Origin Stories Explained

The story bounces back and forth between showing how an unnamed, down on his luck schmo got wrapped up in a heist that ended with him at the bottom of a pool of chemicals, and showing that schmo, now a criminal mastermind, kidnapping Commissioner Gordon and trying to drive him to the same kind of mental break that the story implies is at fault for the Joker’s creation. It’s the first one to really draw strong parallels between the Joker’s mental state and Batman’s, casting the two of them as two possible outcomes to the same break.

And did I mention it’s incredible to look at? Whether you’re a comics scholar or new to the medium, I can almost guarantee you’ve seen that cover, with the Joker holding a camera sideways in front of his face telling you to smile. 

Buy Batman: The Killing Joke on Amazon

Batman: The Man Who Laughs

Ed Brubaker isn’t often talked about as a seminal Batman writer, but he’s defined entire swaths of Batman’s world over his career, and The Man Who Laughs is a big one. This book, drawn by the great Doug Mahnke, takes a look at the Joker’s first interaction with Batman. He’s poisoning people all over Gotham City, and he has a plan to poison the reservoir. Batman works to stop him.

It’s a much more straightforward, less avant-garde Joker than he can get in later times, but the story is told with a modern sensibility and outstanding art from Mahnke. Brubaker (and Greg Rucka, who we’ll talk about in a few) writes detective Batman as well or better than anyone in a generation, and The Man Who Laughs is full of really great detective work with Bruce piecing together who the Joker is and what he’s trying to do. And the fight sequence at the end of the issue is good, classic, straight up Batman/Joker brawling. If you want a way to ease into Joker stories, this is a great one.

Buy Batman: The Man Who Laughs on Amazon

The Joker’s Five-Way Revenge

It’s not often an entire character can be distilled down to a single panel of comics, but Neal Adams effectively did that in Batman #251. Adams is a tremendous artist who changed the entire industry with his panel layouts and action sequences, but the Joker’s “ta daa!” hands and his smile next to a bearing down shark as he says “We resemble each other!” is incredible.

read more: What the Joker Controversy Gets Wrong

This one-off story has the Joker breaking out of a pre-Arkham Asylum mental hospital, hunting down the five ex-henchmen who might have betrayed him to put him away. Only one of them did, but he’s covering his bases, and the issue ends with a wheelchair-bound ex-aide precariously balanced over a tank with an angry shark in it. Batman gets dropped in and has to beat the shark and then save the henchman. It’s one of the best Batman sequences of all time, and the issue captures so much about the Joker that makes him great: his meticulous planning and forethought and his absurd, violent sense of humor. This one is collected in The Joker: The Greatest Stories Ever Told and will likely be wrapped up in a Neal Adams omnibus sooner rather than later.

Buy The Joker’s Five-Way Revenge on Amazon

The Laughing Fish

Detective Comics #475-476 is another quick story that was incredibly influential on how both Batman and the Joker were portrayed moving forward. That importance stems from two things: the ridiculous, malicious joy of the Joker’s plot, and Marshall Rogers’ art.

The plot was turned into the episode of the same name for Batman: The Animated Series.  A fish wholesaler has made fish that look like the Joker for branding purposes, and the Joker, mad he can’t monetize his own visage the same way, goes on a killing spree to get his rights back. This is darkly hilarious, especially the deeper you dive into the metaphor - the mid ‘70s was a big time for comic creator rights, and Rogers was a big part of that. This comic is basically an effigy for comic creators rights.

read more: The Many Deaths of the Joker

It’s also incredible to look at. Rogers is one of those Batman artists everyone should read at some point, a definitive Batman artist who used the Joker to get even better. Rogers’ Batman is bulkier than some of the Batmen of the time, powerful and intimidating. By contrast, his Joker is long and lanky and bony, the kind of guy who hangs with Batman in a fight not with brute force, but with deceptive speed and a weird amount of torque. You can find these issues collected in Legends of the Dark Knight: Marshall Rogers vol. 1 along with another handful of Batman comics from the same era. These creator compilations are some of the best money you can spend. Especially if you get them on sale digitally or find them in a sale pile at your shop.

A Death in the Family

Great Joker stories are often about what they bring out in Batman. “Death in the Family,” an event story from 1988, is memorable because it brought out pure, shaking, rage from Bruce. This is the story where fans called in a vote on whether or not to kill Robin.

read more: The Actors Who Have Played the Joker

Jason Todd was the second person to hold the Robin mantle. He was a street kid who fell in with Batman and didn’t really know his mother. After he gets benched by Batman for being unreliable, he runs off to try and find out who his mother is, finds (maybe) her working for Shady Doctors Without Borders in Iran, and promptly gets captured by the Joker, beaten almost to death with a crowbar, and then blown up in a warehouse by said Clown Prince. And right afterwards, the Joker is given a position with the Ayatollah’s government and gains diplomatic immunity, effectively pulling a Lethal Weapon 2 on Batman and Superman.

This story is odd, but it’s also significant in the history of Batman, and revealing for the Joker’s character. He’s not all high-concept death traps. Sometimes he’s just a guy with a crowbar. In either case, he’s one of the most dangerous villains in the DCU.

Buy A Death in the Family on Amazon

Joker

If you really enjoyed Heath Ledger’s aesthetic in The Dark Knight, you’re going to love Lee Bermejo’s Joker in this book. He’s everything Ledger was in the movie - disheveled, magnetic, menacing without being intimidating - but he’s also fashionable in a street level mob boss kind of way. That break from Ledger’s Joker is the perfect match for this story.

read more: 10 Times the Joker Almost Nailed Batman

This Joker is grimy and street level. He’s EXTREMELY violent but without the comic book panache he usually has. Here he’s just aggressive, with bottles and guns and knives and no sharks or hot air balloons or parades. But he still maintains that core Jokerness, that unpredictability that makes the character so terrific. 

Buy Joker on Amazon

The Batman Adventures: Mad Love

Paul Dini and Bruce Timm are responsible for the greatest and most definitive Batman of all time - the animated one. They also created Harley Quinn, and told a bunch of great stories with her (“Harley’s Day Out” is one of the best Batman stories ever told), but Mad Love also functions as an excellent examination of Batman and Joker’s relationship.

If you’ve watched the show, you probably know what happens in this comic, as it was adapted in a later episode of the cartoon. The Joker won’t pay any attention to Harley because he’s obsessed with killing Batman, so she decides to do it for him so they can spend time together. We get a look back at her origin, working as a doctor at Arkham and falling for the Joker as she tries to treat him, with all the unreliable narration that entails. The weird hate-triangle this issue explores is a fantastic dynamic to add to the Joker’s backstory, and the issue is by a pair of Batman masters. 

Buy The Batman Adventures: Mad Love on Amazon

Gotham Central: Soft Targets

Gotham Central is incredible. It was a police procedural comic, following the cops of the Major Crimes Unit in Gotham as they worked on all of the various awful stuff that happened in the city, from regular old crimes of passion to a parade of dead teenagers in Robin outfits being left randomly across the city. It was written jointly by Greg Rucka and Ed Brubaker, with Rucka writing the day shift cops, and Brubaker taking the night shift. "Soft Targets" is the storyline that ran from issue 12 to 15, where the Joker just starts sniping people. For the hell of it.

Police procedurals are comfort food, but Gotham Central succeeded because it added something to the formula that made it shine. The characters felt familiar and real at the same time. The conflicts were down to earth for a superhero comic - the first issue dedicates about a third of its story to the Mayor and the Commissioner arguing over overtime pay for the Major Crimes Unit. And even the Joker’s plan, spree killing for chaos’ sake, was remarkably toned down. But it gives us one of the best interrogation scenes in comics history, just by taking the Joker out of his predictable formula, too. 

Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth and The Clown at Midnight

A word of caution here: these books are challenging for even serious comic readers. They’re very rewarding, but they’re not comics you can just pick up an see the Joker and Batman fighting. Both are written by Grant Morrison, with Arkham Asylum drawn by Sandman cover artist Dave McKean. This book is a dense, psychological character study of a LOT of Batman’s villains, but it spends a lot of time on the relationship between Batman and the Joker, as Batman is in the Asylum trying to shut down a riot.

The Clown at Midnight is also written by Morrison and...drawn...by John Van Fleet. I hesitate because what art is there is very evocative, intentionally early period computer graphics. This issue, Batman #663, was published in 2007 (and again as part of the Batman & Son collected edition), but the art looks like it was made on a Compaq 486. That’s intentional - the issue is full of prose segments about how the Joker sheds old personalities like a snake sheds its skin. It’s a very granular way to understand who the Joker is and what he does, but it’s also very good - it’s part of Morrison’s larger Batman story that starts with Batman & Son, runs through R.I.P. and Batman & Robin and finally ends with Batman, Inc. Arkham Asylum is kind of a precursor to this run, so if you want to get started here, it’s worth doing both of these collections and seeing how you enjoy them.

Buy Arkham Asylum on Amazon

For more Joker comics you should read, more Joker movies you should watch, or more about the Joker’s best video game appearances (spoilers: #1 is Shang Tsung’s fatality in Mortal Kombat X), stick with Den of Geek!

Read and download the Den of Geek NYCC 2019 Special Edition Magazine right here!

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Feature Jim Dandy

Oct 9, 2019

DC Entertainment

Joker

Batman

from Books https://ift.tt/35ePMml

[gingerly-writing]

Hello? I'm currently trying to write a superhero novel and I'm extremely bad at it. Can you help me, like just give a few tips? I'm really excited about this project so your help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!

Hello dear Anon! You have definitely come to the write (hehe) place. I have so much advice (and hard lessons learnt) to share that I almost burst with information when I saw this ask in my inbox. I’ve tried to trim it down a bit so I don’t clog up people’s dashes, but this is still gonna be pretty long. (Also, this is my 4,500 post on this blog, quite coincidentally, and I also just passed 700 followers. Consider this advice post my celebration!)

This is a novel, not a comic book series.

You won’t be able to convey every awesome aspect of your characters’ looks without boring the reader to death.

Some tropes don’t translate well. At all.

Nothing is wholly original, not anymore. But you can still come up with something you can comfortably call your own.

Action scenes will either become your trusty sidekick or your archnemesis (and each one can turn out to be either).

LESS. IS. MORE.

1) This is a novel, not a comic book series. Even if you write a whole series of novels, you don’t have the page space to waste on the tens or hundreds of smaller villains you might find littered across a Batman series. First of all, everyone your hero encounters has to be fleshed out at least somewhat, and that takes up both space on the page and in your reader’s mind as they try to keep track of everyone you’ve introduced. If you need to make your hero seem as though they’ve been around for a while and save a lot of lives on the regular, have them namedrop villains they’ve defeated or muse about just how many civilians they must have saved over the years and how that makes it all worth it.

What I’m saying is, you need a coherent plot. Obviously the journey from A to B needs ups and downs, but those probably shouldn’t consist of 18 minor villains with the Big Bad at the end unless all the attacks turn out to be related. Keep your plot tidy, and remember, this is a novel. For the first book at least, you might be better off sticking with one supervillain/group as your major antagonist, with subplots constructed from other, less major conflicts (tension with law enforcement, other heroes, collapsing marriage, love interest, high school issues etc. etc.). In my first attempt at a superhero novel, I had my hero (Ace) fighting gangs and cleaning up the streets, saving kids from their own stupidity, dealing with a new addictive and highly highly dangerous drug pouring into his city, trying to uncover who or what the Crime Syndicate was, fending off the police who were trying to arrest him, and a bunch of civilian life problems too, including his mother and best friend trying to work out what he was hiding, passing university and finding a job, all on top of tracking down and fighting his newfound nemesis. This is a slightly exaggerated list, but you can see what I’m talking about. Too much going on can kill your coherency, even if it’s the kind of winding plot you’re used to seeing on comics.

My tip here: pick one main villain, or gang, or anti-hero etc. –pick only one major villainous entity. Stack in one to three sideplots. Make sure everything is coherent and leads your hero from A to B, whether they know it or not. It might be a superhero novel, but it’s a novel above all. Stick to your basic plotting rules, and you’ll be a-okay.

2) You won’t be able to get down every aspect of your character’s awesome outfit. This is another rule applicable to everything, but it’s especially hard to resists in a genre where a hero’s public image is often built from their outfit and powers as much as what they stand for. But imagine if you had to read a block paragraph description of Batman’s outfit? He wears all-black, with a cowl covering the top half of his face that has pointy bat ears which electrocutes you if you try to take it off. He also wears eyeliner to cover the skin around his eyes. He never smiles, and his voice is a deep growl. His chest plate is black and decorated with false abs and a bat-symbol, which is yellow or black depending on whether he’s in camouflage- YAWN! I’m bored just typing all that out.

Pick defining characteristics for all of them. My villainess has candyfloss pink hair, a slow smile and a dappled black outfit fit for a thief. My hero is half-Japanese, wielding a glowing blue sword (which might become a shield in the edits) and donning his heirloom hero suit of black and matching glowing blue. It’s not a lot, and I drop in other details here and there (she carries smoke bombs and knives in her boots, he can’t wink), but sticking to core, important details when describing their outfits in particular can give a pretty clear idea without choking the reader.

3) Some tropes don’t translate well. At all. Put aside the rampant racism, the homophobia, the general mistreatment of many minorities in the comic industry. Put aside the America-centrism and the fridging of ‘pure’ girlfriends and the slutty villainess alike. These are all problems, but they also exist outside of the superhero genre.

Here, I’m talking space radiation giving people powers, killing their loved ones, serving the plot in any which way. I’m talking Superman’s 800 superpowers and Luthor’s inability to figure out his secret ID despite being the smartest man on the planet. I’m talking fallacies of logic, stretching the suspension of disbelief far past breaking point, Gary Stus galore. I’m talking Guy Gardener’s bowlcut. Y’know, just generally bad writing.

You’re going to have to come up with more original power-origins and better haircuts than they did in the Golden Age, I’m afraid. While I genuinely wish I could get in the invisible brainwave-controlled escape boomerangs from Captain Boomerang in the Silver Age, it doesn’t work so well in a pseudo-serious novel. But work a little harder at your worldbuilding than the golden oldies had to, and you’ll have everything down pat.

4) Nothing is wholly original, not anymore. But you can still come up with something you can comfortably call your own. This is linked to point three. Everything has been done. Every superpower, every storyline, every outfit, magic item, warping of genes. You name it, someone, somewhere, whether inside or outside the big comic houses, has done it. This is common with all ideas, but with superheroes you know some all-knowing jackass will pop out of the woodwork like ‘actually this was the plot of Assman #236 in 1987 and your just a hack’ if you ever publish your work.

Fuck ‘em. You might not be able to create something wholly original, but you can create something with a twist. From your superpowers and gadgets, to your plotlines and your worldbuilding, to your hero leagues and villain cadres and your mob squads –you can create something fresh, something we’ve never seen before, something that will open mouths and eyes and hearts. Everything can be original if you take it and play.

5) Action scenes will either become your trusty sidekick or your archnemesis (and each one can turn out to be either). Some will flow from your pen (or keyboard) as though the Muses themselves are scribing your words with golden ink. Other times, you will want to strangle every one of your characters, and throw their weapons, your writing implements and yourself out of the window. The real problem is that action scenes tend to be crucial to this genre, and you never know which fight scene is going to bite you in the ass.

It’s okay if you’re terrible at them (like me). Sketch what you need out of the scene in terms of plot, and then research to your heart’s content (while remembering this is a genre built on ridiculousness and you can stretch reality as far as you need). Then, as with wit, remember you don’t have to be an expert fighter. Unlike your characters, you can write and rewrite and play and mess with until everything is exactly how you want it.

LESS. IS. MORE. I think this is the sum total of my advice, though bear in mind that I’m a massive overwriter: if you underwrite, you might need to flip some of this advice on its head. In my experience, keep your original plot tight, because it will expand with heroic shenanigans and villainous sideplots. Keep your initial character description to key characteristics, and build in the cool, extraneous details over time. Watch out for some of the good old tropes (and not just the bigoted ones) that simply don’t translate well into a modern novel. Play with your assumptions, your tropes and anything else you can get your hands on, but don’t be too afraid to hang onto some of the old classics: this is a genre known for its fun tropes, after all.

If you need any more general writing advice, feel free to come back! You are talking to someone who wrote 60,000+ words of my core superhero novel and scrapped every single one of them, who’s plotted out seven superhero novels and counting, and who may or may not be far too in love with this genre.

But over everything else, remember to take all advice -including and especially mine- with a large pinch of salt. Come talk to me off anon if you just want to chat about superheroes, I don’t bite (and I really, really love superheroes).

Thanks for the ask!xx

[privatelywriting]

**civilian name:** Francis ~~Barton~~ Cooper **hero name:** Sparrowhawk **played by:** Jack **player pronouns:** she/her **player age:** 26 **source material:** based off the little amount of comics resources available

**age:** 19 **height:** 6′ **weight:** 193 lbs **character bio:**  Francis is the son of Clint Barton and Bobbi Morse. From a young age, he’s enjoyed archery, and according to his father, he’s been training with a bow since before he could even walk. When he was old enough, he was taught how to fight by both parents, in different techniques. He didn’t understand the concept of heroes, or that his parents were until he saw Hawkeye on the news and realized that he’d seen his father in that very outfit a few times. When he saw his father next, he asked him about Hawkeye, and Clint explained what heroes were and how he and Bobbi helped people in need. He made Francis promise he wouldn’t tell anyone, because some people would take advantage of a hero’s family to get what they wanted. That wasn’t very hard to do, as Francis didn’t have many friends. His parents often had their friends over, and aside from Aunt Tasha, there was only one other he recognized the first time seeing them: Tony Stark, who he first met when he was 7. He was 10 before he realized Tony was Iron Man, when he saw the man without a shirt and couldn’t help but stare at the arc reactor in his chest. Both Clint and Bobbi tried to shoo Francis away because they thought he was being rude, but Tony knelt in front of him and explained to him that the reactor was keeping him alive after one of his bombs exploded and embedded shrapnel in his chest. Tony even let him touch the device, and Francis was surprised at how warm it was. After that, Tony would bring him small gifts every time he visited, and before long, Francis had an array of video games and other tech, some of which wasn’t even available to the public. Aunt Tasha would visit more often than the others, and sometimes she’d babysit him while his parents were away. The others, he didn’t know, but got used to seeing their faces around the house. Steve Rogers, Maria Hill, Phil Coulson, Thor, Bruce Banner, and once or twice, a guy called Nick Fury. For the most part, Francis would stay off to one side of the room and play one of his handheld games while they were over, but sometimes he’d go talk to them. Once, a man named James visited, and his was an unusual case. He asked to stay the night and asked Clint not to tell Steve he was there. Francis didn’t understand, but he was fascinated by the guy’s arm. One arm was normal, but the other one was metal and looked, quite frankly, like something Tony Stark might have built. Unlike Tony, however, James didn’t seem at all interested in explaining how he got his arm. Around the age of 10, he started to see his parents on the news more often, and he started to pay more attention to the news, trying to get more glimpses of his parents or other heroes. His favorite to hear about was Captain America. He wasn’t entirely sure why, since all the heroes were on the same side and doing pretty much the same hero-ing, but the Captain just stood out to him. He was 12 when he realized that all his parent’s friends who came to visit were the heroes he looked up to and saw on the news, and that he’d been given a secret glimpse into the life of heroes without even realizing it. He had asked his father if he could meet Captain America, and that seemed to amuse his father for a reason he never explained(but Francis realized later). Clint had agreed to let Francis meet Captain America, and the next day, Clint took him in to work with him. They went out to a large ship on the water and Clint took him to a room that overlooked a larger room below, where Francis could see Captain America fighting a bunch of androids. Clint told him the Captain was training, and Francis watched and waited. When Captain America finished training, Clint took Francis down to the training room and explained to Captain America that his son wanted to meet him. The Captain smiled and held his hand out to Francis, who nervously took it and shook it. When they broke the handshake, Captain America reached up and removed the cowl on his head, and Francis immediately recognized Steve. He didn’t know how he looked when he realized, but Clint started to laugh. After that, Francis started to put two and two together and try to figure out who else of his parent’s friends were heroes. While growing up, he showed more interest in the bow like his father, but he still trained with all the weapons both his parents put in front of him. He thought it was normal, that all kids did this, and he didn’t fully understand that his parents were training him so that he would be prepared for anything, and able to defend himself when he grew up, even though neither of them really wanted him to go into the hero business. By the time he was 16, he was almost as good with a bow as his father was, and though he was exceptional with the staff, he wasn’t quite as good with it as his mother was. Shortly after his 17th birthday, his entire life was turned upside down. His parents were on a mission that went horribly wrong, and they were reportedly killed in action, leaving Francis without both parents. Through some mix of grieving and determination, he searched endlessly until he found something that would send him back in time. He had to save his parents. He intended to go back to the mission they were killed on, but the device malfunctioned, and sent him further. Upon arrival, it shattered, leaving him stuck in a time before he was even born. **notable skills:** ● Master Archer: He was trained by his father to become a master archer specializing in the use of regular bows, longbows, compound bows, and crossbows with near-perfect accuracy. He is capable of firing multiple arrows at a single target in a few seconds, hitting multiple targets in a few quick strokes, and directly hit small targets in the greatest of distances. He practices a minimum of an hour a day to keep his skills honed. ● Expert Marksman: He possesses very keen eyesight, and his accuracy is virtually unerring; he was trained in his youth by his father with throwing blades, balls, bolas, and boomerangs. He now has near-perfect precision with any aimed or thrown weapon. He can hurl objects with extreme speed and accuracy, both in direct aim and complicated rebounds/interactions. ● Skilled Martial Artist: Francis is an excellent martial artist, having been trained by his father and mother in various forms. He is skilled in multiple martial arts and several forms of hand-to-hand combat, including kung fu and Tae Kwon Do. ● Weapons Proficiency: Although he is not known to use melee weapons, Francis’s incredible reflexes and hand-eye coordination allow him to easily master most weapons. He is especially skilled with knives and staffs, but can use most weapons in a pinch. ● Peak Human Conditioning: Due to beginning his training at such a young age, Francis possesses exceptional human strength, endurance, and stamina, far above people his own age and most people older than him. He also has eyesight well above most people, something that he puts to well use as an archer, and something that he got from his father. He also has exceptional hearing, and can hear anyone trying to sneak up on him. ● Expert Acrobat: Training as an aerialist and acrobat makes him capable of numerous complex acrobatic maneuvers. He is athletic, with very good reflexes and agility, both of which prove very useful on a near-daily basis.

**weapons:** ● Hawkeye’s custom bow, though his version is different than Clint’s in present time, due to a 20-ish year difference. ● Mockingbird’s battles staves, two hollow steel-alloy poles or battles staves, each extending up to four feet. These staves can be used as fighting clubs; or screwed together to be used as a bo-staff or javelin **list three of their positive traits:** 1.) Strong-willed, not willing to back down from what he believes in 2.) Fiercely loyal, willing to do anything for his friends 3.) Driven by his parents memories and desire to  **list three of their negative traits:** 1.) Depressed, but tries to pretend he isn’t 2.) Short temper 3.) Secretive

**616.5 Headcanons:**  -Francis isn’t deaf, but he learned asl from his father and he uses it sometimes to pretend he can’t hear what someone’s saying -He was born in 2021 and came to the past from the year 2040

[rhetoricalrogue]

Hit and Miss

And here’s the second prompt from the kiss prompts. @saibrarutherford requested a surprise kiss between my next gen kiddos Marian and Tristan.

Highever Castle’s training grounds reminded Marian of home. It was early afternoon and several guards were either in the sparring ring, steel ringing loudly in the air as metal met metal, or watching as young pages swung at straw practice dummies while an older soldier oversaw and yelled out form reminders. In a field a little ways away, Marian could hear the low sound of many feet moving together as the Teyrn’s army worked on formation drills.

She’d been a guest in Teyrn Fergus’ home for a little over two weeks and while she was grateful of all his accommodations and hospitality, she was feeling restless. Sneaking out for meetings with the Highever Jennies late at night let her stretch her muscles and get her hands dirty in a new region, but she still felt restless during the day. It was no secret that Inquisitor Trevelyan had trained his children in combat himself, which was why Marian was dressed in familiar and comfortable leathers with her favorite two daggers in clear view.

The four other blades on her person were hidden, as usual. She would have gone straight to an empty training dummy to practice her knifework, but someone at the archery targets caught her eye.

“You’re staring,” he teased, not once looking away from his target. Letting the arrow fly, he tracked it as if hit dead center.

“Couldn’t help it,” she replied, coming up beside him. “I had a nice view.”

Tristan grinned as he picked another arrow from the quiver at his hip. “Did you now? Aside from the scenery, what brings you here?” He spared a glance at her and Marian tried not to blush as he did his own appreciation of her outfit. “And geared up for a fight, no less.”

“I was getting fidgety, figured I’d burn off some energy here.”

“Shame I’m so horrible at sword fighting, else I’d offer to spar with you.” They both knew it was a lie, but Tristan had spent years building up the reputation of being at an amateur level with knives to distance himself from any possible suspicions that he could be the Dark Wolf, seeing that it was a known fact the Wolf was proficient in dual blades.

“You know, I could probably teach you,” Marian offered, smiling coyly. “I’d even go easy on you for the first few matches.”

That made him laugh. “Or we could see who the better shot is.”

She tipped her head. “And are we competing for anything?”

“If I say a kiss, would you think me terribly unoriginal?”

Marian laughed. “Yes, but I’m willing to overlook it for once.”

Tristan smirked as he took aim and fired dead center again. “You want to go all at once, or switch per round?”

She winked at him. “Maker forbid you fire off everything in one go,” she teased. “We’ll take turns, draw it out as you will.”

Tristan stood close to her as he handed her his bow, his fingers brushing against hers. “Oh Marian,” he drawled, his breath stirring the hair close to her ear and sending shivers down her spine. “You of all people should know that I like to take my time.” He pressed a brief and subtle kiss to her temple before moving away, arms crossed in front of his chest and a playful smile on his face.

“Oi! Looks like someone’s challenging his lordship to a contest!” Both of them turned to see several soldiers behind them. At the declaration, several other soldiers stopped what they were doing and started to crowd around them.

“Is this something special?” Marian asked picking through the quiver at Tristan’s hip until she found three arrows with similar colored fletchings.

“You could say that,” an older guardsman replied. “This boy has been beating the pants off my archers for as long as I can remember. We keep on betting that someone is going to best him one day.”

“Don’t make it sound like that Oscar,” Tristan said. “You’ve a many fine archer in your regiment.”

“And you’re far too modest.”

Marian nodded in agreement. “That he is. Yet I do hope my pants stay on, I can’t remember if I’m wearing a pair of undergarments fit for polite company to see.” Just as she hoped, her comment garnered her laughter from most of the guards and made the tips of Tristan’s ears turn pink. “Now, if you excuse me, I have to win a wager.”

Marian’s first shot was just shy of the bullseye. “Not bad,” Tristan said, taking the bow from her. “Your stance is a bit off, which would account for the cockeyed hit.”

“It was not cockeyed,” she argued. “The wind picked up at the wrong moment is all.”

“Sure, whatever you say, my lady.” Without wasting time to aim, Tristan flawlessly hit the center of the target. “Looks like two bullseyes to none.”

Marian frowned. “And now you’re just showing off.” She took a breath as she surreptitiously adjusted her stance before drawing the bowstring. She nearly fired wide when she felt his hands on her hips, but managed to drive the arrow into the straw target, just not anywhere close to the middle.

“Third knife, small of your back,” Tristan murmured, giving her a wink. “Sorry, I should have said I was going to help correct your form.” He didn’t sound one bit sorry.

“That’s still not all the knives I have on me, and that’s also playing dirty, Howe.”

“True. Tell you what, to make up for it, go ahead and take your last shot now. I promise I won’t interfere.” As if to demonstrate his point, he took several steps back to give her some distance.

This time her arrow found the bullseye. “Nice one,” Tristan exclaimed. “Unfortunately, it looks as if I win.”

“You still have the one shot left,” Marian countered. “I can still win if you miss.”

“And yet, I never miss.” As if to make up for not really aiming in his last shot, Tristan took a near comically long time to line up his last. “Is this careful enough for you?” he asked, keeping his eye on the target.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Marian answered. Without any warning, she stepped up to him and laid a kiss on his ear, her teeth nipping at his earlobe. “I like it when you play it dangerously.”

Tristan’s shot not only went wide, but it missed the target completely, much to the amusement of the guards around them. Tristan stared at the arrow lodged in the dirt a few feet away from the target stand and then at Marian.

“That, lady Trevelyan,” he said mock-angrily, “was cheating.”

Marian looked smug. “And when did I ever agree to play fair?” Walking off, she threw a parting shot. “I’ll be sure to collect my prize later.”

Tristan watched her walk away. “She’s a feisty one,” Oscar laughed, clapping him on the shoulder. “Lasses like that don’t drop into our lives every day.”

“No, they surely don’t,” Tristan agreed. Without thinking, his hand went to his ear where he could still feel the ghostly imprint of her lips. “She’s definitely one of a kind.”

[njawaidofficial]

'Westworld': Inside Comic-Con Experience | Comic-Con 2017

http://styleveryday.com/2017/07/20/westworld-inside-comic-con-experience-comic-con-2017/

'Westworld': Inside Comic-Con Experience | Comic-Con 2017

What would you do if you could actually visit Westworld? It’s a question everyone who watched HBO’s Jonah Nolan and Lisa Joy drama asked themselves while it was on — and a few lucky Comic-Con attendees will soon have the chance to discover the answer.

For one extended weekend only, San Diego plays host to an immersive experience based on Westworld, the HBO breakout that earned more than 20 Emmy nominations for its widely acclaimed first season. The series takes place in a future where few things are certain (is the park on Earth? Mars? Another galaxy?), except for the following: technology is so advanced that illnesses aren’t much of a problem anymore, and oh by the way there’s a massive amusement park filled with robots who think they’re cowboys, Samurai, or some other highly specific profession from any of the unknown number of universes the Delos team have dreamed up.

In addition to its highly anticipated Hall H panel, which coincides with production beginning on season two, Westworld enters Comic-Con with an eye toward giving attendees a taste of what it might be like to spend a half hour or so inside of the expansive park. Who could say no to such an opportunity? (Rhetorical question, and does not apply to anyone currently experiencing “Journey into Night.”) Here’s what happens when you step inside what HBO calls Westworld: The Experience.

First up: how to get to Westworld? A simple question, without a simple answer. Westworld: The Experience is open to all Comic-Con attendees (ie: badge holders), as long as they are 21 or older. What’s more, the event can only be accessed by appointment. There’s an appointment desk at the Hilton San Diego Bayfront Hotel, open from Thursday (July 20) through Saturday (July 22), from 9:30 a.m. until all available slots for the day have been filled. The event runs on 30-minute intervals of six people per session, which means it’s going to be a tough ticket to get. Appointments are available on a first come first serve basis — so if you want to see if Westworld: The Experience looks like anything to you, best to make that appointment ASAP.

Just visited #Westworld. @roundhoward will have the full rundown on @THR tonight! pic.twitter.com/bkEayz79II

— Chris E. Hayner|SDCC (@ChrisHayner) July 20, 2017

When you arrive at the event’s location (which HBO has asked attendees not to disclose), you’re greeted by a representative from Delos, the fictional company that owns and operates Westworld. You’re taken through a door marked with the Delos logo, and then into a great hall marked by bright white lights, not unlike the show’s set design. An impressive array of outfits and weapons — multiple knives, revolvers and the like — are on display in a glass case. The faint and familiar sounds of a player piano call from the distance. 

Just as the urge to break the glass and grab some firearms is about to become too powerful to resist, a Delos rep shows up to guide you into the next step. You pass through a hallway that culminates in two doors: one marked “WW” for Westworld, the other marked “SW” for… well, we’re all pretty sure it means Samurai World, though this section of the park — which was briefly introduced in the season one finale — remains officially unnamed. Listen closely, and you can hear the clanking of swords. The Delos rep makes it clear that for today, you’re only going to have access to Westworld. The mysteries of “Samurai World,” if that is indeed its true name, will remain under lock and key for the time being.

That doesn’t look like anything to me. #Westworld #SDCC pic.twitter.com/ZGg4wAy8QH

— Josh Wigler (@roundhoward) July 20, 2017

Moments later, individuals are taken into small fitting rooms where well-dressed Delos employees begin what’s essentially an interrogation. Questions include:

1. “Have you ever been to Westworld before?”

2. “Have you ever stayed at a luxury resort?”

3. “If you could push a button and cure all of the world’s ails but you would have to cut the population in half, would you push the button, have someone else push the button, or destroy the button and the people who invented it?”

You know, softballs.

At one point, the representative asks you to raise a hand. You’re then told to imagine that you’re in a dire situation, and the only way out is to part with one of your fingers. Which one do you choose? When you make your selection, you’re to mark the digit with a big, fat X. Spoiler alert: There is no discernible follow-up to the “sever the finger” question. As near as one can tell, you’re just drawing an X on your finger for no reason, unless someone’s coming for the digit in a few days. Will report back in case of any sudden finger departures. 

The interrogation leads to the decision you knew was coming: white hat, or black hat. Much like an online personality quiz, it’s possible to game the system. Watch the video below to see how it worked out for me:

Once your hat is selected (black hat, in my case; you know what they say: “When in Roman World…”), you’ll stand in front of a full-length mirror to see what you look like as your new Westworld avatar. There’s a flickering in the mirror, and something that looks like a humanoid figure on the other side of the glass. It happens so fast, that it’s impossible to know what exactly is behind the mirror. Ask the Delos rep, and you will only receive a familiar refrain: “That doesn’t look like anything to me.”

With hat in hand (or on your head as it were), you proceed down a corridor toward a welcome video. It’s similar to the one seen in the actual show, when visitors first arrive at the park. It soon becomes clear that something’s wrong with the video: it glitches, and Evan Rachel Wood’s Dolores Abernathy stars reciting bone-chilling verses that clearly stem from her new Wyatt personality. Toward the end of the video, you see what appears to be new footage from season two: the Man in Black (Ed Harris) sitting at a bar, blood spatter all over his face, but otherwise looking as cool and collected as ever. Not bad for a man now living in a park overrun by the hosts, not to mention sustaining a gunshot wound to the arm. (Pay close attention to your Host escort here.)

After the video ends, you’re ushered into your final destination of the evening: the Mariposa Saloon. A robust bar staff works diligently to create compelling cocktails for you and the others in your party. In our case, a lovely host named Jewels struck up conversations with the various guests. (In case you’re wondering, she’s a whiskey fan.) The bartenders concoct three different cocktails: a Sherry Punch, a Blue Blazer (which includes a neat fire trick), and a Milk Punch. True to two of the drinks’ names, all three beverages pack a punch. Free advice: do not enter Westworld on an empty stomach.  

Boozy drinks and nice company notwithstanding, the main draw of the Mariposa is one of the same things that made Westworld so memorable in the first place: the player piano, the same one heard briefly and faintly in the distance upon arrival. According to Jewels, the piano is operated by a ghost. The ghost does not have a name, which means this black hat had to give it one: Gary. Subsequent guests later revealed that Jewels continued to use the name Gary to describe the ghost. If you visit the Mariposa and you learn about Gary the ghost, you now know who to blame.

What he lacks in corporeal form, Gary more than compensates in his ability to play some killer tunes, including many which were featured during Westworld‘s first season: the Rolling Stones’ “Paint it Black,” Radiohead’s “Exit Music (For a Film),” Soundgarden’s “Black Hole Sun.” Gary even played a rendition of Ramin Djawadi’s Emmy-nominated Westworld theme song, as well as another familiar Djawadi and HBO tune. Check it out in the video below:

After about 15 minutes inside the saloon, sipping beverages and soaking in music, a Delos rep arrives to take you home. That’s it for the experience. No weapon selection, no shoot ’em ups, no side quests… just some fine booze and fine tunes, all gone in the blink of an eye. Much like a real vacation, it’s all gone too soon — not unlike the actual Westworld experience, one imagines.

Oh, one more prize: the hat. You get to keep it. Choose wisely.

Follow THR.com/Westworld for all of our coverage of the HBO drama.

Special thanks to THR contributor Chris E. Hayner for video and photos.

Westworld

#ComicCon #Experience #Westworld

[privatelywriting]

FB:**civilian name:** Francis ~~Barton~~ Cooper **hero name:** Sparrowhawk **played by:** Jack **player pronouns:** she/her **player age:** 26 **source material:** based off the little amount of comics resources available

**age:** 19 **height:** 6′ **weight:** 193 lbs **character bio:** Francis is the son of Clint Barton and Bobbi Morse. From a young age, he’s enjoyed archery, and according to his father, he’s been training with a bow since before he could even walk. When he was old enough, he was taught how to fight by both parents, in different techniques. He didn’t understand the concept of heroes, or that his parents were until he saw Hawkeye on the news and realized that he’d seen his father in that very outfit a few times. When he saw his father next, he asked him about Hawkeye, and Clint explained what heroes were and how he and Bobbi helped people in need. He made Francis promise he wouldn’t tell anyone, because some people would take advantage of a hero’s family to get what they wanted. That wasn’t very hard to do, as Francis didn’t have many friends. His parents often had their friends over, and aside from Aunt Tasha, there was only one other he recognized the first time seeing them: Tony Stark, who he first met when he was 7. He was 10 before he realized Tony was Iron Man, when he saw the man without a shirt and couldn’t help but stare at the arc reactor in his chest. Both Clint and Bobbi tried to shoo Francis away because they thought he was being rude, but Tony knelt in front of him and explained to him that the reactor was keeping him alive after one of his bombs exploded and embedded shrapnel in his chest. Tony even let him touch the device, and Francis was surprised at how warm it was. After that, Tony would bring him small gifts every time he visited, and before long, Francis had an array of video games and other tech, some of which wasn’t even available to the public. . FB:Aunt Tasha would visit more often than the others, and sometimes she’d babysit him while his parents were away. The others, he didn’t know, but got used to seeing their faces around the house. For the most part, Francis would stay off to one side of the room and play one of his handheld games while they were over, but sometimes he’d go talk to them. Once, a man named James visited, and his was an unusual case. He asked to stay the night and asked Clint not to tell Steve he was there. Francis didn’t understand, but he was fascinated by the guy’s arm. One arm was normal, but the other one was metal and looked, quite frankly, like something Tony Stark might have built. Unlike Tony, however, James didn’t seem at all interested in explaining how he got his arm. Around the age of 10, he started to see his parents on the news more often, and he started to pay more attention to the news, trying to get more glimpses of his parents or other heroes. His favorite to hear about was Captain America. He wasn’t entirely sure why, since all the heroes were on the same side and doing pretty much the same hero-ing, but the Captain just stood out to him. He was 12 when he realized that all his parent’s friends who came to visit were the heroes he looked up to and saw on the news, and that he’d been given a secret glimpse into the life of heroes without even realizing it. While growing up, he showed more interest in the bow like his father, but he still trained with all the weapons both his parents put in front of him. He thought it was normal, that all kids did this, and he didn’t fully understand that his parents were training him so that he would be prepared for anything, and able to defend himself when he grew up, even though neither of them really wanted him to go into the hero business. By the time he was 16, he was almost as good with a bow as his father was, and though he was exceptional with the staff, he wasn’t quite as good with it as his mother was. . FB:Shortly after his 17th birthday, his entire life was turned upside down. His parents were on a mission that went horribly wrong, and they were reportedly killed in action, leaving Francis without both parents. Through some mix of grieving and determination, he searched endlessly until he found something that would send him back in time. He had to save his parents. He intended to go back to the mission they were killed on, but the device malfunctioned, and sent him further. Upon arrival, it shattered, leaving him stuck in a time before he was even born. **notable skills:** ● *Master Archer:* He was trained by his father to become a master archer specializing in the use of regular bows, longbows, compound bows, and crossbows with near-perfect accuracy. He is capable of firing multiple arrows at a single target in a few seconds, hitting multiple targets in a few quick strokes, and directly hit small targets in the greatest of distances. He practices a minimum of an hour a day to keep his skills honed. ● *Expert Marksman:* He possesses very keen eyesight, and his accuracy is virtually unerring; he was trained in his youth by his father with throwing blades, balls, bolas, and boomerangs. He now has near-perfect precision with any aimed or thrown weapon. He can hurl objects with extreme speed and accuracy, both in direct aim and complicated rebounds/interactions. ● *Skilled Martial Artist:* Francis is an excellent martial artist, having been trained by his father and mother in various forms. He is skilled in multiple martial arts and several forms of hand-to-hand combat, including kung fu and Tae Kwon Do. ● *Weapons Proficiency:* Although he is not known to use melee weapons, Francis’s incredible reflexes and hand-eye coordination allow him to easily master most weapons. He is especially skilled with knives and staffs, but can use most weapons in a pinch. . FB:● *Peak Human Conditioning:* Due to beginning his training at such a young age, Francis possesses exceptional human strength, endurance, and stamina, far above people his own age and most people older than him. He also has eyesight well above most people, something that he puts to well use as an archer, and something that he got from his father. He also has exceptional hearing, and can hear anyone trying to sneak up on him. ● *Expert Acrobat:* Training as an aerialist and acrobat makes him capable of numerous complex acrobatic maneuvers. He is athletic, with very good reflexes and agility, both of which prove very useful on a near-daily basis.

**weapons:** ● Hawkeye’s custom bow, though his version is different than Clint’s in present time, due to a 20-ish year difference. ● Mockingbird’s battles staves, two hollow steel-alloy poles or battles staves, each extending up to four feet. These staves can be used as fighting clubs; or screwed together to be used as a bo-staff or javelin **list three of their positive traits:** 1.) Strong-willed, not willing to back down from what he believes in 2.) Fiercely loyal, willing to do anything for his friends 3.) Driven by his parents memories and desire to **list three of their negative traits:** 1.) Depressed, but tries to pretend he isn’t 2.) Short temper 3.) Secretive

**616.5 Headcanons:** -Francis isn’t deaf, but he learned asl from his father and he uses it sometimes to pretend he can’t hear what someone’s saying -He was born in 2021 and came to the past from the year 2040

[aion-rsa]

X-ecutioners: X-Force’s 15 Deadliest Members

Ever since creators Fabian Nicieza and Rob Liefeld launched “New Mutants” #100 in 1991, X-Force’s defining trait has been its aggressively proactive approach to protecting mutantkind. Even after the X-Men reluctantly took up a more militant stance under the leadership of Cyclops, X-Force also kicked its activities up a notch, becoming a black ops-style mutant kill squad designed to end potential threats before they escalated into real menaces.

RELATED: I Can’t Believe It’s Not Deadpool: The 15 Best Non-Deadpool Deadpools

Distinguished from the rest of the X-Men by a willingness (some would argue an expectation) to use deadly force on their missions, it’s no wonder “Deadpool 2” writers Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick have been tapped to lay the groundwork for a future “X-Force” film. With Cable and Domino already confirmed to appear in the blockbuster sequel, can an “X-Force” movie be far behind? With that question in mind, we couldn’t help but compile a list of X-Force’s most dangerous members.

SPOILER ALERT! Spoilers ahead for numerous stories published by Marvel Comics.

DEATHLOK

Thanks to the perils of time travel, alternate realities and liberal retcons, there have been several versions of Deathlok over the years. The Deathlok-Prime who joined X-Force after the death of his creator first appeared in “Weapon X” #11 and hailed from a parallel universe, where the evil mega-corporation Roxxon had taken over the world. Prime was the product of a clandestine Weapon Plus program that successfully used reanimated corpses to create an army of cyborg super soldiers and secure a potential future timeline policed by the Deathlok Nation.

His cybernetic enhancements and ability to accurately predict highly-probable future timelines make him a dangerous foe, but what chills us to the bone about Deathlok is his onboard A.I.’s ability to cede control to his psychotic serial killer host. Eventually, he would take a position teaching the next generation of X-Men at the Jean Grey School for Higher Learning, which we’re sure seemed like a good idea at the time. Anybody want to sign up for Serial Killing 101? We thought not.

SHATTERSTAR

This founding member of X-Force first appeared in “New Mutants” #99 as a refugee from a future Mojoworld tasked with bringing the X-Men back to his home dimension to help him liberate his people from Mojo’s twisted, despotic rule. A highly-skilled warrior raised in Mojo’s gladiatorial arenas, Shattterstar is the progeny of the mutant Dazzler and Longshot, himself a legendary revolutionary who fought against Mojo’s regime and the beneficiary of some of his son’s DNA, making Shatterstar his own grandfather. Probably best not to think on that fact too much. Thankfully, neither of his parents remembers his birth due to some convenient time travelling hijinks.

None of this makes Shatterstar particularly dangerous, simply a little weird and overwrought. What does make him dangerous is his willingness to use deadly force whenever necessary without a second thought, a precedent that was set early in his tenure with X-Force. Just ask Reaper of the Mutant Liberation Front. Shatterstar used his trademark double-bladed swords to dismember the mutant terrorist on three separate occasions.

FERAL

Another Nicieza-Liefeld creation who debuted in the seminal “New Mutants” #99, Feral was definitely a product of her times, an early example of the bloodthirsty antihero archetype that seemed a staple of virtually every comic published during the ‘90s. At least her codename didn’t have the word “blood” in it, although it easily could have, judging by her love of violence. A mutant born with innate lion-like abilities and an untameable personality in keeping with her name, Feral clawed her way free of a horrific upbringing by murdering her father and mother. She also may have been complicit in the deaths of two younger siblings, but no evidence exists pointing to their murders.

Like many bestial comic book characters, Feral struggled to keep her animalistic tendencies in check. Tragically, she never really found the knack in the same way Wolverine or even her sister Thornn did. However, it was this unpredictability and hair-trigger temper that made her so deadly, something her teammates learned early on, when she nearly disembowelled teammate Cannonball during a simple training exercise.

MARROW

Like our last entry, Marrow was another example of ‘90s comics sensibilities taken to their furthest logical (or illogical) conclusion. Once again seemingly based on the Wolverine antihero archetype, Marrow was created by Jeph Loeb and David Brewer, and first appeared in “Cable” #15 as a member of the mutant terrorist group called Gene Nation. Born with the ability to control the growth of her bones, Marrow was raised amongst the Morlocks in a brutal alternate dimension, gaining her membership in Mikhail Rasputin’s Gene Nation by literally killing her way to the top of the heap. As a member of Gene Nation, Marrow launched a brutal terrorist campaign on normal humans.

Upon joining up with the X-Men, she struggled to control her murderous tendencies. Her greatest claim to fame while with the team was shoving one of her patented bone knives into Wolverine’s throat during a sparring session. Although she lost her powers during Decimation, a re-empowered Marrow joined Cable’s reformed X-Force team. During their battle with Volga, the man who re-powered her, it was revealed that a despondent Marrow tragically lost her unborn child during the process to regain her powers.

DOMINO

The woman known as Domino was created by Fabian Nicieza and Rob Liefeld (surprise, surprise) and first appeared in “X-Force” #8. Although a mutant, Domino’s birth wasn’t random. Her birth is the result of a clandestine government-sponsored breeding program dedicated to the creation of the Perfect Weapon. Domino shares a long history with X-Force founder Cable, serving beside him in Six Pack, his old mercenary outfit. She’s been a fixture of various X-Force teams over the years, often serving as leader during Cable’s frequent absences during her initial tenure with the group.

Although Domino’s powers are subconscious by nature, typically activated when she’s threatened by impending injury, her mutant abilities aren’t what makes her so dangerous. As one of the most accomplished mercenary spies in the biz, it’s Domino’s no-nonsense attitude and willingness to make the hard choices that make her so deadly. During her time with Six Pack, the unit was known for mowing down crowds of people to achieve their goals. Her ruthlessness is perhaps best illustrated by her assassination of Flagsmasher, which paved the way for Cable’s liberation of the 198 mutants who survived M-Day.

SPIRAL

Arguably the most purely evil entry on our list, perennial X-Men villain Spiral first appeared in “Longshot” #1, created by Ann Nocenti and Art Adams. Spiral was once the Earthborn stuntwoman “Ricochet” Rita Wayword who was transformed by Mojo, the ruler of the Mojoverse, after she attempted to help her friend Longshot overthrow the tyrant’s all-powerful dictatorship. She was then sent back to the past to attack Longshot and her younger self. A six-armed cyborg sorceress with the ability to traverse the multiverse, Rita’s drastic physical transformation paled in comparison to the damage done to her mind, after it was expanded to perceive multiple dimensions.

She is an extremely powerful sorceress – one of seven who were flagged as potential successors to Sorcerer Supreme Doctor Strange – who combines science and magic to startling effect. After Mojo exiled her to Earth for failing to kill Longshot, Spiral opened up the Body Shoppe, manufacturing cybernetic limbs and weapons systems for various clients including the Reavers and Lady Deathstrike. Although later retcons would transfer the Reavers creation to Donald Pierce, there was no undoing the alternate timeline Spiral conquered, where she was known as the Apocalypse after killing most of the world’s heroes and mutants.

BISHOP

First appearing in “Uncanny X-Men” #282, the time-displaced mutant known as Bishop was born in dystopian alternate reality, where mutants were branded and forced into detention camps. After the Summers Rebellion freed mutantkind from their Sentinel–backed human overlords, Bishop joined the X.S.E. (the Xavier Security Enforcers) in an attempt to police his own kind. It was during one of his X.S.E. missions that Bishop was transported to the primary Marvel 616 continuity, where he became a valued member of the X-Men. Plagued by the memories of his horrific future, Bishop’s outlook was dramatically altered by the events of M-Day.

Although he was one of the lucky few to retain his mutant abilities post-Decimation, became more zealous in his defense of mutantkind, culminating in his attempt to kill the first mutant born after M-Day, whom he believed would usher in his dystopian timeline. After Cable saved the baby from Bishop, the pair embarked on a cross-time war of attrition, which Bishop willingly escalated into mass murder, thanks to numerous traps scattered throughout the timeline that killed millions. Now, that’s freaking deadly.

WARPATH

The younger brother of legendary X-Man Thunderbird, James Proudstar first appeared as one the Hellions in “New Mutants” #14. Under the tutelage of Emma Frost, James rose to leader of the Hellions but left the group for Cable’s first X-Force team, feeling like he no longer fit in to the Hellfire Club’s teenaged mutant strike force. Under Cable’s direction, James honed his fighting skills and underwent a sustained power boost that saw his enhanced senses and strength increase exponentially. Now far more powerful than his brother ever was, James finally stepped out of his long shadow, taking the name Warpath. It was an appropriate name choice considering his future career path.

After the events of M-Day, the protection of the few remaining empowered mutants became the X-Men’s priority, so James was tapped for a membership on the new version of X-Force that was created to target and eliminate threats to mutantkind with extreme prejudice. He was finally able to lay his brother’s soul to rest during the events of Necrosha, plunging the vampiric Black Queen’s own knife into her chest, killing her (for the time being, at least).

PSYLOCKE

In a medium noted for its love of retcons, reboots and resurrections, there are perhaps few heroes who have changed as drastically as Psylocke. The mutant telepathic sister of Captain Britain, Betsy Braddock first appeared way back in 1976 in “Captain Britain” #8. Originally, Betsy was your typical telepath, with very little to distinguish her from others of her ilk, aside from a brief stint as Captain Britain. After a run-in with the Marauders during the Mutant Massacre, Psylocke joined the X-Men and was with them when they “died” after passing through the Siege Perilous. Betsy would resurface in Madripoor, where she would undergo her most dramatic transformation after the Hand transferred her consciousness into the body of one of their most feared assassins.

Betsy was effectively transformed into a telepathic Elektra capable of skewering your psyche at the same time that she’s skewering your body. Her new abilities naturally made her a perfect choice for various incarnations of X-Force. During the “Dark Angel Saga,” Betsy showed her willingness to make the hard calls, when she stabbed her lover Archangel with the Life Seed, killing him and preventing his ascension into the role of Apocalypse.

FANTOMEX

Fantomex is quite possibly the most unpredictable entry on our list. His vaguely defined abilities, narcissistic personality and connections to the Weapon Plus program ensure even his teammates aren’t entirely sure what side he’s really on. Created by Grant Morrison and Igor Kordey during their classic run on “New X-Men,” Fantomex is the product of decades of Weapon Plus research, the same program responsible for the creation of everyone from Captain America to Wolverine. Sharing the Canucklehead’s patented healing factor and enhanced senses, Fantomex also possesses three brains, an external nervous system in the form of EVA and the ability to cast convincing illusions.

Although he’s shown moments of selflessness, Fantomex is at his core a survivalist and a cold-blooded killer, willing to follow through on threats even his fellow X-Force assassins thought crossed the line. In the events leading up to the “Dark Angel Saga”, Fantomex was the only one with the intestinal fortitude to pull the trigger on the infant clone of Apocalypse, after his teammates decided to save him. He eventually went insane after gaining god-like new abilities, prompting Hope Summers and his former lover Psylocke to fry his brains.

WOLVERINE (LAURA KINNEY)

Laura Kinney first appeared as the teenaged killing machine X-23 in the pages of “NYX” #4, created by Craig Kyle and Chris Yost. A clone created from the damaged genetic material of her “father” Wolverine, Laura struggles to reconcile her conflicting human and bestial natures, in much the same way as the long-time X-Man. She was trained to be the ultimate killing machine by her creators in the Weapon Plus splinter cell known as the Facility, who initiated her murderous tendencies with genetically-implanted trigger scents.

Although she would seemingly overcome her trigger scent programming, Laura would continue to use lethal force throughout her career. This is perhaps best illustrated by her assassination of Matthew Risman, a mutant-hating Purifier she initially tried to kill by secretly planting explosives around his base, without informing her teammates. Although the destruction of his headquarters failed to kill him, Laura completed the mission the old-fashioned way, with a bullet to the brain. Thankfully, Laura has been far less reckless ever since taking up the mantle of Wolverine, far more concerned with living up to her late father’s noble legacy.

DEADPOOL

If there’s anybody left on the face of the planet who doesn’t know the Merc with a Mouth, then they’re likely already a victim of the infamous “dead pool.” Created by Louise Simonson and Rob Liefeld, Wade Wilson first appeared in the now-classic “New Mutants” #98 as a future adversary of Cable’s inaugural X-Force team. Although it would take several years for the Deadpool we all know and love to evolve from the one-dimensional villain that plagued his future teammates, Deadpool’s willingness to eliminate targets and rivals alike has always been one of the character’s defining characteristics.

As his blockbuster movie admirably showcased, Deadpool doesn’t just kill people for the sake of expedience. He revels in racking up the body counts in the most inventive ways possible. Driven mad by the process that gave him a suped-up version of Wolverine’s healing factor, Deadpool’s talent for killing is only outstripped by his sadistically comical monologues. Although he’s been the victim of recent attempts to tone down his violent nature in the wake of his monstrous mainstream popularity, there’s no keeping a good merc down and we’re confident he’ll continue to tear up the Marvel Universe with his signature zeal for manic destruction.

WOLVERINE (JAMES HOWLETT)

“I’m the best there is at what I do but what I do isn’t very nice.” While that statement may not be entirely true for this list, there are few other entries who’ve racked up the body count that the original Wolverine has since his first appearance in the iconic “Incredible Hulk” #180. Blessed with enhanced animal senses, retractable adamantium claws and a robust mutant healing factor that has allowed him to survive virtually any injury, Wolverine was a natural born killer in every sense of the word. With innate abilities honed by decades of military training, Wolverine was also one of the most accomplished hand-to-hand combatants in the Marvel Universe, up until his recent death in the appropriately titled “Death of Wolverine” #4.

And yet, none of that is what made him one of the most dangerous men on the planet. Rather, it was his willingness to do whatever was necessary to deliver the killing blow that gave his enemies cause to fear. Case in point: When Cyclops shut X-Force down, it was Wolverine who kept it running on the down-low as little more than an assassination squad.

ARCHANGEL

For years, Warren Worthington III was the dreamy poster boy for human-mutant relations. Along with Beast and perhaps Iceman, he was an integral member of the wider Marvel superhero community, serving as a founding member of both the original Champions and the New Defenders. As a founding member of the X-Men, the Stan Lee and Jack Kirby creation functioned as a key player in several major mutant story arcs. It wasn’t until he lost his original feathered wings during a vicious attack by the Marauders during the notorious Mutant Massacre, that his character took a drastic turn for the worse.

Drafted as the Horseman Death by Apocalypse, Warren embarked on a terrifying campaign of destruction that saw him irrevocably changed physically and mentally by the experience. As a member of X-Force, he was an unpredictable teammate, murdering hundreds of flying Purifiers in a blind rage after the re-emergence of his techno-organic wings. During the “Dark Angel Saga,” the depth of Apocalypse’s malevolent genetic manipulation was revealed, with Warren even having to be put down by his former lover Psylocke after he threatened to become the new Apocalypse. Although he’s since been resurrected with no memory of his past life, it remains to be seen how angelic he truly is.

CABLE

He’s the man with the plan; the X-Men’s very own mutant Captain America. Without Nathan Summers, the man who would come to be known as Cable, mutantkind likely would’ve perished years ago. Created by a comic book brain trust that includes Chris Claremont, Louise Simonson and Rob Liefeld, Cable first appeared as an adult in the pages of “New Mutants” #86. As the offspring of Scott Summers and Jean Grey, Cable was shunted into the future as an infant to protect him from the machinations of Mr. Sinister.

Over time, Cable evolved into an accomplished soldier, who plied his trade in the present as the leader of Six Pack, a mercenary unit notorious for their brutal tactics. He was instrumental in promoting a new more militant approach to protecting mutantkind, resulting in the formation of the original X-Force. His role as guardian of the future of his species remains his defining trait, driving him into conflict with everyone from the Avengers to his own friends and colleagues in the X-Men. A man on a never-ending mission who is always willing to make the killing blow even if it means his own life, there is no more dangerous member of X-Force than its founding father.

What do you mean we didn’t “execute” this list properly? Let us know who we missed in the comments!

The post X-ecutioners: X-Force’s 15 Deadliest Members appeared first on CBR.com.

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