#her going through loss and grief
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iheartbookbran · 5 months ago
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There’s something about Rhaenyra’s epithet being the Black Queen and how the color black is often associated with mourning and grief. Because Rhaenyra’s story really starts with the death of her mother, and that’s a grief that she carries onto her adulthood. But it goes deeper than that, we’re told how many children Aemma lost during her marriage to Viserys, and Rhaenyra, though just a child herself at the time, had to experience the loss of her siblings alongside her mother, never being enough for her father because she wasn’t a son. Then she finally becomes the heir, but not in time to save her mother, and the grief never really leaves her. She loses Harwin (and at least in the book, Laena). She learns about the usurpation of her throne at the same time that she learns about the death of her father. She loses her only daughter.
She watches her sons leave her one by one until only one is left.
How could she ever be anything other than the Black Queen?
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tollsoftheclockwerkbelle · 2 months ago
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sega please do not save maria please do not save maria PLEASE do not save mariaaaaaaa sega PLEASE
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bizlybebo · 3 months ago
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lightspeed taking over a lot of the responsibilities miss G usually took care of when she gets sick and gaining a new appreciation/perspective for all that miss G does and suddenly understanding why she has such a fear of commitment while miss G has so much time to think while she's away from the public eye/hero life and realizing how much lightspeed does mean to her hahaha. ounches a wall
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martyrbat · 1 year ago
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wrote a long thing about people not talking about rose's actions being spurred on originally by grief and how her grief was used to manipulate her until she turnt it to anger—the equivalent of a bandaid over a gaping wound, surviving but not living. but then realized. lol. who cares. (i do i care sooo much but. i am so shy. 👍)
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epitomees · 3 months ago
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BEAUTIFUL! GORGEOUS!! AMAZING!! FLAWLESS!! STUNNING!!
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orcelito · 4 months ago
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I'm tired of dreaming about my dad. I know it's part of processing, but I am just so tired.
#speculation nation#negative/#sometimes theyre nice dreams where i have him back. except i still wake up sad.#sometimes theyre dreams where im trying to prevent what i know is going to come. but without fail i wake up. and he's already dead.#and then there are dreams like the one i just woke up from. where i know he's dead and im feeling the full force of grief once again#bawling and bawling in-dream. with enough force that it wakes me up.#and of course. i wake up sad from these too.#it makes me think about that passage i wrote for ITNL. well over a year ago. before the Year Of Death even began.#where i wrote about vash dreaming of wolfwood. with a similar sort of vibe to this.#i wrote that inspired by the death of my grandma. who i was close with and greatly troubled by her death.#even that had nothing on my dad though. no loss has ever felt this severe before.#it's been 5 months and sometimes i feel okay. but then i feel the ache deep in my chest again#and i know im never going to be fully free from this pain.#i want to go back to the person i was before i lost my dad. to before i lost my uncle.#i want to go back to early may of last year. where life seemed hopeful and i was minimally touched by death.#only 2 deaths from people close to me. 3 deaths if you count my childhood cat.#now im up to 5 deaths of people who were close to me. and 7 if you count my sweet baby boys.#can you believe that? 4 deaths ive grieved in the past year (and a bit). 2 more deaths of ppl i knew but wasnt close to.#and 2 of them were so genuinely life-altering that they changed me as a person. my uncle and then my dad.#i still dont know who i am now. i feel so lost. i look out at the piles of boxes of my dad's stuff and i feel so overwhelmed.#im supposed to go through them. i havent touched them in months. i dont know how to even begin.#and so i try my best to keep up with my cleaning and my schoolwork. it's about all that i can manage
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catsquishy · 2 years ago
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Thinking of you this Mother's Day, people who have lost their mothers. It can be incredibly difficult for the grieving process to have today shoved in your face like it so often is. It feels like there is no escape from the barrage of Mother's Day ads or other reminders that you no longer have your mom.
Know that you are allowed to feel every feeling today, no matter what it is. Be sad, be happy, be angry if you need to. You are not taking away from the people who celebrate today with their mothers.
Do what you need to do for yourself today. Take care of yourself and know that you are seen.
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archived-and-moving · 2 years ago
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See having specific abilities be a genetic trait is fine. But what if it was instead a reflection of the experiences that someone goes through in childhood when unlocking their ability? While scientifically speaking this probably doesn't make as much sense but on a basic level this would be such a cool basis for how someone develops abilities and make Sophie's genetic mutation case even more messed up.
Say what if a kid grows up in a prestigious nobility family, that just so happens to be like celebrities in the elvin world and they have to uphold this fake image to be what the public wants them to be. What if they have to uphold this idea of themselves in front of almost everyone, sometimes even within the space of their own home?
You know what I would value the most in people close to me?
Transparency and trust.
And BOOM what do you know a family of Vanishers and Telepaths, unintentionally made through not one but two generations of trauma, where not only the children right now (Biana, Fitz, and Alvar) but along with Alden and Della have a deep understanding of what it means to be honest and only put your faith into the people you love and hold the closest to you.
Okay so let's try another one.
What would happen if two children happen to have overbearing parents who expect things that they cannot give to their legacy. What if they are pushed and pushed and pushed and punished just for being born? Well, what if one of them tries to be exactly what they want? Stuffing away all of that judgement, that shame, and the anger of that shame down until it all bubbles up and the dam bursts?
Or hey what would happen if a kid instead chose to ignore what they were saying, and find comfort in something that was outcast from society like them? What would happen to the kid who lay in bed and make shadow puppets with his hands at night, dreaming of a world in which he could use the creatures from his imaginings and turn them on the monsters of the real world?
"Well I don't know Tobi what would they value?"
Accepting and embracing the flaws that come with a person!!!!
"How does that have to do with Hydrokinetics and Shades?
Because both of them are only seen as useful when they can offer someone else something they want, and are otherwise stigmatized and seen as unstable and dangerous!
(you could also draw conclusions as to stigmatized mental illnesses that people see as other, especially those which have a negative taboo around them and are thrown around as common words quite regularly. I won't dig into this further than here since i do not have experiences with such, but you can extend this and other factors into the examination of other abilities.)
I just think that it would be such a cool prospect that growing up, elvin abilities take shape through the deepest experiences and wants at the core of someone's personality, and reflecting that through manifestation!
That's also another reason to compare Sophie's situation to the elvin world, and kind of add how fucked up it is. They deprived her a right of developing her abilities naturally by planting her in a specific environment and setting her up to have specific abilities, experiences, and personality traits.
Anyway just kind of a concept i've been thinking on for a bit.
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autisticlaezel · 1 year ago
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I think I'm gonna switch Gemma's romance to Karlach because it's thematically so, so juicy for her
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lisbonsteresa · 2 years ago
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climbing the walls this is so excellent
#tm#like oh i could really spiral out about this#this man has spent 10 years consumed by grief and loss and pain and revenge...he didn't really have a life outside it#he's such a good and caring man but he was also ready to use pretty much anyone and anything to get him to red john; to finish his quest#and then he did; he got red john and he's on the other side of that quest but....now what#that grief and loss and pain don't go away; it's all still there with him and now what does he do with it#without being able to channel it into this quest how does he deal with it#and i don't think he has; even in his two years away i don't think he has (because i do think that's something that they would address#or at least i hope the show hasn't let me down yet)#how does he move forward when so much of him is still stuck in the past#and that's not even touching the lisbon of it all#because for all of those 10 years she's been there with him; she's his friend; his partner; his (maybe only??) confidant#she's maybe the only one he really trusts; who he'll actually listen to; who he'll be honest with#(even if he doesn't do it perfectly or even well a lot of the time....re: the above)#and he knows he has feelings for her; he knows she has feelings for him (because he's not an idiot lfjkda)#he knows she wants more with him and he knows he wants it too but how does he do that?#what does that look like how does he he get what they both want when he still doesn't know how to say what that is?#how does he take that risk with her and lose the one constant he's had through everything else?#and at the same time he knows this isn't fair to her; he doesn't want her putting her life on hold for him romantic or otherwise#(he already learned his lesson there; he already got slapped in the face with that realization in that tiny airplane seat)#so yeah he wants her to go out and have fun with this nice man who has none of his baggage#who is able to tell her he likes her and he wants to get to know her better#meanwhile he (the person who maybe knows her better than anyone) is left sitting alone because he doesn't know how to use his WORDS#his memory palace and all his mind tricks and powers of observation are failing him and he has no idea how to let her know what he wants#he doesn't even really know how to let HIMSELF know and so here he is alone on a couch that's an imitation of the one he had at cbi#with the memory of what the imitation of a relationship with lisbon might be like wrapped around his neck#while the possibility of something real walks out the door#(this is the scary possibility that was on the other end of his 'does not compute' reaction and i hate it but i LOVE it#this show is doing so much so so well)
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strxnged · 2 years ago
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i have 45 minutes before everything happens today feeling a Little overwhelmed but its ok its ok ill have fun it is allgood i Cant Move
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serpentmessmer · 2 months ago
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if marika elden ring has no defenders know that i am dead in the ground
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designsdefiance · 4 months ago
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wanting to do dawntrail msq again on m'seyli because I love her and I miss her vs absolutely noooooot being strong enough to do that second half again especially not on a character where it will be infinitely worse. fight to the death.
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bixels · 6 months ago
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Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.
Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).
Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.
Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.
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Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).
AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.
But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s
At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.
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eclipsecrowned · 1 year ago
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on the other hand though....
'i was going to give her my child (…) she said she'd raise it, teach it magic, take care of it.'
[a party tank must get a firm grasp on hel lest she explode bigger than netherese magic]
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pheonix-inside · 1 year ago
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Help I just saw a sad video about grief of my Twitter feed and now I'm crying I'm supposed to be getting ready for bed
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