#her faaaaaaaace

[swan2swan]

Yaz was a literal stone's-throw away from getting toilet-lawyered. T_T

[c-duceusclay]

"You should find more joy in your inner child"

-Laudna

[marsinthecorner]

Meadow looks so beautiful!!!😍😍💕

I just love her faaaaaaaace!!!!❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

[fuckthatroomupgood]

ok so i love best of the worst and half in the bag and all that but guys the plinkett prequel reviews quite literally changed my fuckin lexicon. i think or say "you didn't notice, but your brain did" multiple times a week. when my husband and i clean up we automatically go "where's my bin, my plastic bin". half-awake on sunday mornings trying to find the cat so we can snuggle her? "where's my cat, its time for breakfast". "you fuck that room up good charlie" "post an email on this webzone" "whats wrong with your faaaaaaaace" i do not think i have gone more than 3 days without making a plinkettism since i first watched them. like. i think it is a testament to their writing that I continue to use their words so often

[literary-potato]

also topping the greatest hits chart is me saying "look at your faaaaaaaace" and telling her she has such a good face

it's a little concerning how much time I spend with my cat saying "squish the baby" while I cuddle and squish her

or simply petting her and informing her that she is baby

[timetravelhouse]

My fellow useless lesbians, can we take a moment to appreciate Raquel Cassidy's stunning performance as Hecate Hardbroom? The fact that we're all here for HB attests to the rich queer coding of this character, and moreover, to the continuing vitality of lesbian decoding practices. I can't stop thinking about how Cassidy masterfully deploys tropes with a deep history of queer connotation, so I wanted to situate Hecate in this genealogy. I'm proposing three longstanding lesbian motifs that resonate with Cassidy's interpretation of Miss Hardbroom, hopefully helping to illuminate why everyone is reading it as hella gay. This is written in the style of a grumpy old teacher, so each section includes an example from film history with a corresponding academic citation (Tumblr blocks posts with outside links; I recommend searching Google Books). :D?

1. lesbian gothic Judith Anderson as Mrs. Danvers in Rebecca (Alfred Hitchcock, 1940)

It may be counterintuitive to link this cotton candy show to the gothic, but try shifting your point of view from the students to the teachers. The adults are dealing with family secrets, spectral paintings, authoritarian patriarchs, and of course, magical peril. Gothic references coalesce in Hecate Harbroom, the literally and figuratively dark presence with an uncanny ability to materialize at the moment of peak disobedience (she usually says "Mildred Hubble" but she might as well be saying "boo").

Patricia White, "Female Spectator, Lesbian Specter" from UnInvited: Classical Hollywood Cinema and Lesbian Representability (Indiana University Press, 1999)

A genealogy of The Haunting–and of the haunting of classical cinema by lesbianism–leads us to Alfred Hitchcock's Rebecca (1940), a key example of the female gothic, a genre that as a whole is concerned with heterosexuality as an institution of terror for women (64)... [In this film,] the heroine's desire is channeled toward Rebecca as a powerful presence-in-absence by [Mrs. Danvers], who enjoys a peculiar and intense relation to her former mistress and who functions as a sort of regent of Rebecca's reign at Manderly (65)... In the gothic narrative, the heroine's look is central yet unreliable, precisely because the female object sought by her gaze is withheld. This narrative can be seen to encode the dramas of desire and identification at stake in female spectatorship and the lesbian excess that haunts them, to remind us that we can't always believe our eyes (72).

The severe domestics and governesses of gothic mysteries harbor the story's secrets under their grim austerity, and these secrets always seem to have the flavor of sexual deviance. Hecate Hardbroom's reserved and gloomy vibe – and indeed, her "goth" style – evoke characters like Mrs. Danvers (a little too obsessed with an inappropriate crush from her past). This resonance "haunts" The Worst Witch with "lesbian excess" that can only be seen obliquely, and may even suggest "heterosexuality... as terror" (see s2e11 "Love at First Sight"). Thus the heritage of genre cues us to suspect that whatever repressed feelings animate Hecate's stern control must be tinged with forbidden desire, a queer allusion that is irresistibly seductive.

2. lesbian witch Margaret Hamilton as The Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz (Victor Fleming, 1939)

I'm sure I don't have to convince you that witches are the most obvious gay element in The Worst Witch. We're offered a spectrum of witchy genders (headcanon: Mr. Rowan-Webb is trans), and I ask you to bear with me through a theory. I would never call Hecate butch in today's terms – she's so glamorous with her sensuous fabrics and heavy eyeliner – but think 1930s notions of butch. Standing imperiously in head-to-toe black next to the brightly colored and approachable looks of other magical adults, Hecate inhabits the classic witch stereotype. This quintessential witch is threatening in her otherness because she has power that refuses and exceeds the standards of femininity.

Alexander Doty, "'My Beautiful Wickedness': The Wizard of Oz as Lesbian Fantasy" from Flaming Classics: Queering the Film Canon (Routledge, 2002)

It was probably during gay director George Cukor’s stint as production consultant on Oz that the Wicked Witch got her final look: a sharp nose and jawline, green face and body makeup, a scraggly broom, clawlike fingernails, and a tailored black gown and cape. This is the witch as creature, as alien, as monster, and as what straight, and sometimes gay, culture has often equated with these—butch dyke (58)... And let’s not forget that while Glinda may look like a fairy godmother, she is a witch, and is therefore connected to the Wicked Witch and to centuries-long Western cultural associations between witchcraft and lesbianism. So what we have set before us in The Wizard of Oz is the division of lesbianism into the good femme-inine and the bad butch, or the model potentially 'invisible' femme and the threateningly obvious butch (59)... The butch witch is both the potential source of fulfilled desires as well as the potential source of physical danger (68).

Hecate Hardbroom's "obvious" witchyness is frightening in a way that's delectable, because it whispers to us of a land "over the rainbow" where normative rules of gender and sexuality might be unbound. HB both threatens the kids with exposure through the potency of her magic and encourages them into the sisterhood of this forceful female energy. She links the forbidding/forbidden with the desire to adore and become it. When high femme Pippa Pentangle stands alongside Hecate, they echo Glinda's contrast with the Wicked Witch of the West as the light and dark sides of a queer paradigm: the coming-of-age fantasy of escaping from "Kansas" to "Oz" (or Cackle's Academy for girls only).

3. lesbian camp Emilia Unda as Fräulein von Nordeck in Mädchen in Uniform (Leontine Sagan, Germany, 1931)

Camp is probably my #1 axis of delight in Raquel Cassidy's approach to Hecate. In Susan Sontag's formative 1964 essay "Notes on 'Camp'" (easily Googled), she defines camp as "the love of the exaggerated" and "the spirit of extravagance"; as "a mode of seduction–one which employs flamboyant mannerisms susceptible of a double interpretation"; as "a new, more complex relation to 'the serious'" that "identifies with what it is enjoying... a tender feeling." I can think of no better way to capture the superb balance of excessively theatrical gestures and glimpses of genuine emotion that I see in this character. Historically, camp is primarily associated with gay and effeminate men, but there has always been a place for women in camp's gender play. Katrin Horn locates the emergence of a visible lesbian camp in the New Queer Cinema moment of the 1990s, with films that took up a referential dialogue with the subtextual queer language of an earlier era.

Katrin Horn, "The Great Dyke Rewrite: Lesbian Camp on the Big Screen" from Women, Camp, and Serious Excess (Springer, 2017)

As a cinematic trope the boarding school setting dates back to at least 1931, when a nearly all-female crew produced Mädchen in Uniform... the associated story – emotional turmoil at all-girls boarding schools resulting in female bonding, homoerotic moments, and declarations of love between women – and its symbolism have been carried from Hollywood's classical era... But I'm a Cheerleader points to the heavily censored history of female-female desire onscreen [and] mocks the absurd and dark one-dimensionality of the boarding school trope (35-36)... [B]y consciously engaging with the cinematic history of lesbian representation, [camp films] reinscribe (pleasurable) lesbian presences into themes and tropes that had hitherto been connected to doomed and/or subtextual lesbian desire... Furthermore, they represent new forms of cinematic pleasure, as they infuse stereotypes which have historically as well as more recently been used mainly to disavow lesbian identity and sexuality with a sincerity of affect that recodes them as objects of identification and desire (37).

Mädchen in Uniform and related films (including the 1958 remake and 2006 reinterpretation Loving Annabelle) are lesbian tragedies, stories where forbidden desire between a teacher and student (or, in the case of 1961's The Children's Hour, two teachers) leads to heartbreak and ruin. The strict headmistress subjects the more romantic teacher to an all-knowing and judgmental gaze – but her relentless pursuit of perversion can always reverberate back to camp up this dour figure. Like the satirical lesbian comedy But I'm a Cheerleader (Jamie Babbit, 1999), The Worst Witch returns to the queer scene of the girls' boarding school in a more playful mode. As a camp performance, Cassidy's Hardbroom is a homage to Fräulein von Nordeck and her ilk, but one that transposes this archetype's threatening quality into a celebration of the deviance she originally stood against. Precisely by being over-the-top, Hecate's expressiveness embraces the stern teachers of yore with tenderness and a "sincerity of affect" that invites possibilities for pleasure and identification into this stereotype. By revisiting and reconfiguring the terms of queer representation, camp can effectively rewrite history – we may take more glee in earlier portrayals of the tragic lesbian or repressed disciplinarian today because she has been retroactively camped. Camp is reappropriation – its affection for extremes is simultaneously ridiculous and erotic (boosted here by liberal use of dramatic low-angle shots to frame Hecate as deliciously imposing). Children's television has always been a welcoming field for camp, which revels in its capacity to signal queerness through the seeming innocence of zany shenanigans. Cassidy described The Worst Witch as "a massive invitation to play" – her total commitment to this opportunity with a joyous camp sensibility enables a really dazzling modulation of lesbian cultural touchstones.

It would be worthwhile to read Hecate Hardbroom intertexually in relation to Raquel Cassidy's previous queer comedic roles... but that's a story for another day. I just wanted to explain why I think what she's given us in The Worst Witch is quite remarkable (and justify why I am utter trash right now). It's meaningful to me to connect the soup of digital ephemera and intemperate feels we're all swimming in now to a lineage of lesbian representation and spectatorship. Maybe this lofty outpouring is totally inappropriate to Tumblr [EDIT: so pleased it is appropriate <3], but I don't seem to be able to help myself – thank you truly for reading if you made it this far. Grumpy gay teacher signing off!

GIFs Hecate: all-we-must-be | dismantledrose | andforgotten Mrs. Danvers: Old Hollywood Films on giphy Wicked Witch: gifswithkriz Fräulein von Nordeck: mine

[blackjackkent]

Bates and Anna, 37/? Downton Abbey S2E8

"Jane said you wanted to see me?" "It's only to say that I've done it. I've booked the registrar."

[obsessivedilettante]

Indulging in a comfort-watch of the OG Anne of Geen Gables and I just reached the point where Gilbert secretly watches Anne from behind the tree, with the biggest look of yearning on his face, and I’m like, “Oh. This is why I’m still single. I want a Gilbert Blythe. But not just any Gilbert Blythe. Only Jonathan Crombie, GOAT, will do.”

[beloveddawn-blog]

He's so cute! OMG, his little faaaaaaaace! There's just something about it there, it's my favourite version of Claude ever.

Art's adorable in her backup costume too. The colours look great on her!

Eyy managed to sketch something... a day after Halloween... :'D;;

Ary dressed as a vampire... and really needs to watch her words for poor Claude's sake! She has no idea... u_u;

[scottspack]

i know i say this LITERALLY every single time that i rewatch new girl but can you FUCKING believe that nick has been head over heels in love with jess since season 1 episode 1???? CAN YOU BELIEVE??????

[beavesaintmarie]

richiesseth-admin replied to your post: me watching Swamp Thing: KAY SO WHEN DOES SHE FUCK...

in the comics, they figure it out and have sex, so the show shouldn’t be cowards!!!

oh word?????????????????????? 

[the-eren-plush-blog]

Admin: I went to ask Eren plush to change his clothes back to normal. Eren asked for selfies instead. I can't say no to my fluff son...

[cobra-creampuff]

literallyy the INSTANT he looks at her FAAAAAAAACE. AAAAHH!!!!!

the fact that spike is the fastest one to recognize that buffy is buffy and not buffybot, but the slowest to react once he does. i SAID kill me!!!

[cassandrapentayaaaaas]

!!!!! Miranda Raison is gonna be in Murder on the Orient Express and if you can’t tell by the exclamation points I am terribly p l e a s e d by this news !!!!!

[elaynetrakand]

i only have one unwatched episode left of still star-crossed, and after i watch it tonight, there will be no more. :( the cancellation was no surprise, i mean everyone and their sister saw it coming, but still, this show brought me much joy in its brief life

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 26.11.20 lb

preemptive maafi for all the raita she’s gonna phailaofy.

notice vansh watching from the pic. i’m telling you his ass been monitoring everyyyyyyyyyyything all this time.

i know i said i love boys in the layered look but how many fucking layers is he wearing?????? it’s above 30C in mumbai these days and he lives in an ALL-METAL SHIPPING CONTAINER?!!?!?!!?!?

lmao he’s fully thinking ki mere kaunse account se nijod ke laayi hai itna?????

2L kam hai and his ass playing hardball.

she’s like tum mein insaniyat naaam ki cheeeez nahi hai kya?!!?! lmao sis, insaniyat joti ismein toh paise leta hi nahiiiii. learn to recognize ppl better, idiot.

“payment poora nahi hai, toh main bhi poora nahi jaa sakta. ek aankh yahaan chod doon??? ya aisa karte hain ek haath yahin rakh deta hoon.”

lmao she’s realllllllly not in the mood for his dumbassery.

arrange 2 more bundles from somewhere, or find someone else.

dat paaaaaaaar ki nazar!!!!!!

the way he INSTANTLY snatched it from herrrrrrrrrrrr.

he’s taunting her on giving away dead husband’s watch so easy. DUDE THIS SOOOOOOOOOO VANSH.

Chehra Appreciation Time.

“contract sign kar rahein hain toh meri bhi kuch shartein hongi usmein.” lol, ohhhhh boyyyy.

riddhima already like your bitch ass better not ask for some nasty shit, the moment he said “pati-patni” she’s like SIRF PAPERS PAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

contract-zoned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! by own wife!!!!!!!!! koi nahi, welcome to the illustrious tellywood club, my man.

his shartein should be interesting if he’s making thisssss face.

OH NO.

THIS FUCKING CHUGALKHORRRRRRRRRRRRRR ARYAN. I NEED ISHANI TO “TAKE CARE” OF HIM, HONESTLY.

ALSO IF RIDDHIMA HAD JUST BOTHERED TELLING ISHANI/ANGRE HER PLAN THEY COULD HAVE KEPT KABIR OCCUPIED. BUT NOOOOOOOOOOO.

he’s like who’s this person you’re meeting and getting all these ideas from huh???????

“sharam nahi aati tumhein, apne hone wali patni pe itna bada ilzaam laga rahein ho, uski jasoosi kar rahe ho????”

lmaoooooooooooooooo ‘hello kettle, this is pot. YOU’RE BLACK!!!!!!!!’ waala situation ho gaya yeh toh.

lmaoooooooooooooooooo someone’s been watching dhoom 2 a lottttttt. nakli maut waala plan bhi wahin se churaaya, aur yeh costume waala bhi.

lol riddhima’s tinyyyyyyyy smile.

oh. they’d seen him on the cctv. thank god after falling off the cliff, isko buddhi aa gayi ki ghar pe bas camera lagwaana nahi hota, make sure it’s properly working also. warna har teesre episode mein it used to be angre coming and saying sorry camera was down, sorry it was hacked, sorry whatever happened was in the blind spot of the camera, etc.

rrahul like why should everyone else have all the fun, mere ko bhi chahiye hamming ka mauka. koot koot ke hamming bharna hai iss scene mein.

btw she explained this rando dadaji off as orphanage ka manager who she knew from childhood.

lmaooooooooooooooooooooo chun chun he badla le raha hai tuchche methods se. donooooo se pair choooaaa raha haiiiii.

kabir like you have veryyyyyyyyyy modern interior decoration tastes for your age.

explained it away saying his grandson decorated the place.

uh huh sure.

anyway, kabir just left riddhima here and went saying come on time for shaadi ka muhurat. lol what a dumbbbbbbbbbb. why wouldn’t you take her with you??????

NOT EVEN THEIR VAAAAAGUELY THREATENING WAALE STATEMENTS MADE HIM CURIOUS?!?!!?!?!?!? SACH MEIN LAGTA HAI KI SUITS KHAREEDNE KE LIYE AQAL KAHIN BECH AAYA HAI KABIR.

kaisa tha mera Dadasaheb Phalke Farzi Awards 2021 waala performance?!?!?!?

she’s like acting ke naam pe kuch bhi karwaaoge, pair kyun chhoone ko bola?!?!?!!?

tell me this isn’t a vansh look. THIS MAN IS VANSH.

“character mein ghussna isse hi kehte hain.” ,“pair chhoo bhi liya toh kya hua..... meri PATNI banne jaa rahi ho tum.” HE SAID IT IN A DEEPER VANSH-LIKE VOICE TOO. IF SHE STILL DOESN’T GET THAT IT’S HIMMMMMMMM, I JUST DON’T KNOW HOW SHE’S SURVIVING, BEING THIS STUPID.

“sirf papers pe.”

lmao dude just can’t catch a break.

ALSO I NEED TO YELL AGAINNNNNN ABOUT HOWWWWWWW GLAD I AM THEY’RE LETTING HIM MOVE HIS FAAAAAAAACE TO EXPRESSSSSS HIMSELFFFFFFFFFFFF. GENUINELY THE BESTTTTTTTTTTT DECISION THIS SHOW HAS EVERRRRRRRR MADE.

lmao he’s muttering ki “waise bhi tumhari jaisi ladki ke saath deal karne se pehle contract sign karna bohuttttttttt zaroori hai.” vansh wishing he’d made her sign a pre-nup the first time around lol.

kala namak metaphor. ki hai pink, but called black. andar kuch aur, baahar kuch aur. “bilkul tumhari tarah”

BITCH. IT’S VANSHHHHHHHHH.

“wahan uss kabir se shaadi ke vaade rahi ho; yahaan mujhe apna husband banaana chahti ho....... i know, i know, sirf papers par; par bohut saare rang nazar aa rahein hain tumhaare.”

IF SHE STILL DOESN’T GET IT, IDK MAN. MAYBE HE SHOULD HIRE A SKYWRITING PLANE OR A FLASH MOB TO TELL HER THROUGH INTERPRETIVE DANCE OR SOMETHING. COZ GOOD LORD COULD IT BE MORE OBVIOUS?!?!!?!?

“kahin vansh ke saath bhi toh koi tedha sa, cute sa, dhoka toh nahi kar diya tumne?”

OH. MY. GOD. AT THIS POINT WE DON’T EVEN NEED DNA TESTING.

commenting on how she’s still wearing vansh’s mangalsutra and “yeh kaisa dikhaava hai; haathi ke daant, dikhaane ke kuch aur, aur khaane ke kuch aur?” dude, at this point, even if he tells her outright that he’s vansh, will she realize??????? i don’t think so.

you have no right to talk about me and vansh, limit mein raho, etc. etc. SIS................... YOU SO DUMB. JUST LOOK AT HIM. THAT A VANSH LOOK. NOT A VIHAAN LOOK.

she’s like i’m not paying for this badtameezi, i don’t wanna do any contract with you; goes to rip up the papers. niiiiiiiice. i wanna see this spine more. take no shit from him, no matter how cute.

he’s like uh uhhhhhhh not so fastttttt. this my contract copy. OH BOY FOR SURE HE’S ENTERED SOME SHADY SHIT IN IT.

gives her the special copy he made for her and lmaooooooooooooooo

RATE CARD BANAAYA HAI BANDE NE, KHUD KI HI FAMILY KO BARDASHT KARNE. if you ask me, literally ALL the tellywood men need this, coz they really put up with The Most from their crap families.

“saans lene ki bhi payment jod do tum!” riddhima being 100% done with this fucker is my favt. riddhima. sis ko bhi pata chale, how difficult it was for him to put up with you for all these days.

“yeh toh maine socha hi nahi! haan, iski payment bhi add karni chahiye; kyunki tumhare saath toh waise bhi saansein thodi kam hi aati hain.”

ASDKJAHKJDHKSAJDHKASJK KAISE BHIGO-BHIGO KE MAAR RAHA HAI AUR YEH BEWAKOOF SAMAJH BHI NAHI RAHI.

outta nowhere kheencha-taani over the bottle (does she wanna maarofy it on his head????? bandi hai toh expert, logon ko sar pe maarne mein.....) aaaaand.........

at this point it’s gotta be muscle memory for him coz..............

yup. he’s done it that many times. and they haven’t even shown half of them.

she’s unnerved and trying to back outta the whole thing. he’s like read the contract first.

lmaooooooooooooo his rules:

1. if they argue, no matter whose fault it is, she has to apologize.

2. after a fight, she has to cook whatever he wants to eat at the moment.

3. she cannot say three continuous “no”s.

lmaoooooooooo she’s literally like what is this bs?!?!!?!?!?!?

“yeh toh mera professional rate card hai. personal alag hai.” oooooooooh boy, cannot wait to see what’s on THAT one.

she’s like bhaaaaad mein jao tum, aur tumhara rate card, mujhse nahi hoga.

he’s like 2 min to think. 25% cancellation charge. BY GOD LOOOOOOOOOT MACHAAA RAKHI HAI MANHOOS NE.

snort.

idhar mummy getting mangalsutra engraved with kabir’s name and jeweller informs ki i always give preference for your family; just this morning i gave riddhima best price for all her jewellery.

“haan ya naa?”

she’s like you know i’m desperate and that’s why you’re blackmailing me like this.

“please mere saamne yeh abla naari waala naatak mat karna. main toh sirf tumhe corner kar raha hoon, tumne toh apni poori family ko corner kar liya.”

IT HIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM AND HE WANTS REVENGEEEEEEEEE, SIS. OHHHHH BOYYYYYYYYYYYY. DADI KA, MAA KA, BEHEN KA, KHUD KA, SAB KA BADLA LEGA RE TERA VR.

kabir has been informed about baada haath riddhima has maarofied. now he will do jasoosi. ouff.

she’s like you don’t need to know what majboori i’m in and why i’m doing all this to the family. just sign the damn contract.

done done-aaaaaaa done. just look at his haraaami face. ram jaane kya kya ghusaaya hoga papers mein that she didn’t even bother reading before signing.

“congratulations, partner!”

“ek zeher ko kaatne ke liye main ghar mein doosra zeher laa rahi hoon.” yup, men just be That Way. each one worse than the last.

THIS IS FUCKING VANSH AND LITERALLY NO ONE ELSE. THE LOOKS, THE DISAPPEARING SMILE, THE DEEPER VOICE ONCE SHE’S GONE, IT’S ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL HIM.