#helped my love for space grow
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bonks my ghost to let him know that he's doing a good job
#i think destiny would be a lot better if i could be affectionate with my ghost#listen hes doing such a good job making sure i dont die#the real mvp fr#oh yeah i play destiny a lot#ive been playing since the first game in middle school#i recently got back into it and i still love this game sm#comfort game fr fr#helped my love for space grow#oc#art#originalcharacter#originalartwork#character design#destiny#destiny 2#destiny the game#destiny art#pali draws misc
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"I see you, and I love you" + hurt/comfort ; requested by @oops-i-dropped-the-galaxy!
Danny can handle being a halfa. He’s had years to get used to it, switching between dead and alive, living boy and ghost, always living in flux. He’s settled into his identity as one of the few halfas in existence, navigating the living world and the Infinite Realms with ease after years of practice.
What he can’t handle is becoming an Ancient.
Apparently, while most Ancients are born into the role, ruling over their domain, some can grow into it. It’s rare, practically unheard of, but not impossible.
Danny is growing into the Ancient of Stars, changed from the inside out by his love of space.
He would be happy if it didn’t hurt so much.
Danny can’t sleep at night anymore. When the stars are out, he can hear them singing, each windchime voice echoing through his ears. Though he can’t see them from beneath Gotham’s cloud cover, he can feel them shining brightly far above him.
He lays in bed with Duke, curled up in his side, trying to muffle his whimpers as his bones creak and hollow, his soul growing too large for his body to handle. He is space contained in a human body. It wants to be free, to stretch from its suffocating confines and fill every dark space with cold light. His skin feels too tight and his teeth ache.
All Danny can do is clench his jaw, wrap his arms around his stomach as tightly as he can, and try to weather through the pain of changing.
The agony of it comes in waves. He doesn’t know how long it takes until it recedes enough for him to feel like he can breathe again, trying to suck air in as his lungs are crushed by his ribcage. Slowly, Danny pushes himself up, taking care not to wake Duke, and stumbles out of bed. His throat is dry and feels as if its been scraped raw by sandpaper, and all he wants is water.
He gets halfway down the hall when the next wave hits.
Danny collapses, gasping for breath, and can only watch through tear-filled eyes as his fingers go dark, the same black as deep space. His body shifts, bones cracking and muscles stretching like taffy, and suddenly he’s big larger than life a galaxy a black hole there is darkness everywhere it is alive it is full of stars the stars are singing the stars are singing the stars are si
“Danny? Hey, sweetheart, are you okay?”
That’s Duke’s voice. He’d recognize it anywhere, even from miles away, even when he’s sure he doesn’t have ears anymore. It takes all his effort to pull himself back to Earth, back into their apartment, blinking up at Duke as the stars in his eyes fade away.
Duke kneels before him, concern clear on his face, gentle hands reaching out to hold Danny steady. The feel of his warmth grounds him, keeps him more securely in his body. The pull of space is still there, tugging at him, trying to pull him out of humanity and into the form of an Ancient, but Danny can resist it so long as Duke keeps him tethered to the ground.
“It hurts,” he croaks, shivering.
“Shh, I know, baby. How can I help? What do you need?”
Danny leans forward, burying his face in Duke’s chest as tears slip out of his eyes. “It hurts,” he says again, voice shaking. “I keep changing and growing and my entire body is being torn apart and—” he gasps, cutting himself off. “I keep disappearing. I don’t want to disappear. I want to stay here but it takes me away and then I’m too big and no one can see me and I’m alone—”
“You’re not alone, Danny,” Duke says, holding him tightly as if his arms will be enough to keep Danny from breaking out of his own body, ridding himself of a mortal vessel, his only remaining tie to this world. “I see you, and I love you. Even if you have to change and go far away to be happy, I’ll find a way to follow you there, okay? I’m with you for as long as you want me.”
“I don’t want to hurt so much,” Danny whimpers, black fingers speckled with stardust clawing at Duke’s arms.
“Just breathe through it, sweetheart, you can do it. Let it pass through you. I got you, okay? Just let the pain pass and you’ll be fine.”
He wants to snap at Duke that it’s not fine, that the pain will be forever, it’ll linger in every one of his joints, that he can’t just stop fighting it because it’ll hurt even worse then. But his jaws are aching, his teeth sharpening, and there’s a black hole in his throat that he refuses to let loose. He lets out another pained whine, shivering, and in his chest a star is formed, burning bright and angry.
“Breathe, Danny, breathe,” Duke soothes, rubbing a hand up and down Danny’s back.
It’s habit to relax into his touch. They’ve spent so many nights working through night terrors and injuries, comforting each other through gentle touches. The pain eases a bit, and Danny sighs, frost on his breath.
“There we go, sweetheart, that’s it. You’re doing just fine.”
Another tear slips down his face, but the ache in his entire body as his growing ghost form tries to escape begins to fade.
He’s spent so many nights in pain, waiting for the sun to rise to muffle the singing of the stars. If he can get any relief, he’ll take it, even if it means losing his human form.
Danny stops fighting. His resistance to this change falls away. There’s a moment where the pain disappears entirely, the world going still, but before he can let out a relieved sigh, the change hits him like an asteroid, sudden and instant and inevitable.
A cry is ripped from his throat, but it doesn’t sound like him. It echoes, deep and inhuman, and suddenly Danny is every dark space surrounding the stars, the arms of every galaxy, suns burning bright and dying, supernova, cold and ice and the slow drifting of planets in orbit. His body grows, expands, no longer a ghost but an Ancient, body curling into itself to stay within the walls of the too small apartment, large hands cupped around Duke to keep him safe.
He can feel the cold of space. Orbits dance in his mind. Meteorites and asteroids drift without pattern across his chest. Danny can see everything with too many eyes, and he can cup planets in his palms, so much larger than possibility. His chest opens and expands and his body can curl around Earth and keep it safe.
He feels settled in this new body, senses stretched in every direction and the universe is so much lovelier than he could have ever experienced it in a halfa’s body.
Danny, Ancient of the Stars, hums and the universe shivers, singing back to him.
The pain is gone completely. He wonders why he resisted so hard; this is what he’s meant to be. He’s never felt so right before.
“Danny?”
Duke’s voice is small, but only because he is small when compared to Danny in his Ancient form.
Duke, he tries to say but his vocal chords have changed. Instead of words, a deep hum erupts from his throat, similar to the purr of a particularly large cat.
“Hey, sweetheart. Feeling better?”
Danny nods, pulling himself back together to feel his body more keenly, no longer stretched across the universe, cradling every star in his reach. Duke reaches a hand up and Danny reaches back, folding himself back into his body. His human eyes return and he realizes the apartment is completely covered in darkness with stars sparkling all around them. It recedes as he fits himself back into his body, the black on his fingers fading away until his hand is indistinguishable from a normal human’s.
He takes hold of Duke’s hand and tries to stand. His legs are weak and unsteady and he falls onto Duke, who catches him with ease and sweeps him up into a princess carry.
“There you are, honey,” Duke says, voice warm and relieved. “You alright?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I feel a lot better.”
“Good. Do you need anything? Hot chocolate, heating pad, sleep?”
Danny thinks for a moment, then says, “Hot chocolate.”
“You got it. Let me just set you on the couch and I’ll have it out in a minute.”
He carefully sets Danny onto the couch, then tucks the blanket they keep folded over the back around him. Once he’s satisfied Danny is comfortable, Duke heads to the kitchen, flicking on the light as he does.
Danny sinks into the couch cushions, carefully moving all his fingers and toes to make sure they’re fine. He’s a little sore, as if all his bones where put through the ringer, but it doesn’t feel any different from when he has a particularly rough training day.
What’s more important that his physical body is the fact that he can feel his core, settled deep in his chest. It’s no longer the cold of ice, but it burns coldness, a white star embodying his soul, a changed core to reflect his transformation into an Ancient.
A baby Ancient, technically. He still has some growing to do, but the rest should be easier and, hopefully, less painful.
He closes his eyes and begins to drift off when he hears Duke return. It takes some effort to open his eyes, and his smiles softly and sleepily when he sees Duke set down two steaming mugs of hot chocolate on the coffee table.
“Love you,” he mumbles, freeing a hand from the blanket to try to pull Duke down to join him.
Duke goes to him easily, sitting next to him and pulling Danny in to cuddle against him. It’s been so long since he last felt so comfortable at night, not writhing in pain and biting through his lip to keep quiet, that he can’t help but sink into it. A purr starts up in his chest, and Duke startles.
“Sweetheart, are you purring?”
Danny flushes and tries to hide his face. The purr doesn’t stop. He’s always been able to purr after becoming a halfa, though purr is just an easier way to describe it. It’s less of his vocal chords vibrating and more of his core rumbling in contentment. Usually, it’s unnoticeable, barely able to be felt let alone heard. Apparently, becoming an Ancient and therefore a much stronger ghost means his purrs are also stronger and louder.
“You’re so cute,” Duke says, pressing a kiss against Danny’s forehead. “Drink your hot chocolate, and then we can go back to sleep.”
He makes grabby hands at his mug, and Duke laughs and picks it up for him.
“Love you,” Danny repeats, voice less muffled.
“Love you, too,” Duke says. “I’m glad you’re feeling better.”
“I’m glad you were there to help me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“It’s a good thing you’ll never have to find out. I’ve got you, sweetheart, always.”
Believing him is the easiest thing Danny has ever done. If Duke says he’ll be there for, then he will.
Always, always, always.
. . .
[send me ghostlights prompts!]
#ghostlights#dc x dp#dp x dc#dcxdp#dpxdc#dc x dp fic#prompt fill#my writing#you ever think about how painful transformation must be? especially for eldritch danny turning into something human into something not?#yeah :) hurt and comfort!!#duke best boyfriend of the year tbh we all need a man like him in our lives#imagine the next time duke is in danger and danny comes to help and this human guy suddenly GROWS and his body unfolds and a mass of stars#and space comes out demanding in a voice that makes ears bleed that they leave signal alone or face the consequences#anyways after that gotham knows that the signal is loved by some monster/god so they try not to piss him off too much#this is all good and fine until goons and criminals make danny shrines and leave gifts and snacks on it so he'll show them mercy#and duke has to scold danny about not eating suspicious shrine snacks#thanks for the prompt!!
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May I request Sad Dad Times for WIP Weekend please? That sounds fun (for me, if not for anyone actually in the fic) 💚
Sad dad time is a two for one special!!!!!!!
"You ruined it!" Damian shouts, and then hates the drop of guilt that forces his blood from his face. It's true, and it's real, and it's Tim's fault that his Father returned, but it's not fair to say it was ruined, how could he have ruined something Damian had waited his whole life for-
But his father had been overbearing. Had been stern, quiet, and demanding, with no clear goals for Damian to exceed. But his father had been disappointed in him, had pulled away during the first few awkward attempts Damian had made to find common ground, and it - this - felt like a fracture in a wound he had never noticed.
But Damian had waited his whole life for his father's love, and his father had not been the one to give it to him.
Timothy stares at him with confusion and frustration warring in his gaze, an exasperated edge to his tone when he says, “Look, baby brat, I'm allowed to join you and B for dinner.”
----
It was with baited breath that the people of Gotham waited for Bruce's curse; with parents such as his, with a silver spoon and want for nothing, it would be strong but lovely. What price would stand in the way of another Wayne patriarch improving the city, and how often could Bruce pay it?
There was no question of if he would; you always had to, no matter what, and what Wayne would hold back from serving Gotham?
And then there was the murder.
The lovely string of fake pearls scattered along the streets of Park Row, and Bruce Wayne, too young, huddled insensate over his parents' bodies. By the time the police arrived, they were long dead, and the blood had soaked into Bruce's pants.
It was a spectacle when Gordon and Pennyworth helped him to his feet, for that was when they thought that the last Wayne had been injured too, blood blooming over his chest and dripping down his arms, and the pictures of Bruce's curse and Alfred Pennyworth were front news for the next week.
What an irony, they whispered, when the news came out, that she would have served him better alive then dead.
What an irony, that Thomas' curse had been twisted so much, in the tragedy, that Bruce's bleeding heart became reality.
It had been hard to get news of the Wayne heir after that; the pictures of him could be constituted as gore, sometimes, with the way blood would seep through any fabric he wore, and no-one in Gotham was truly comfortable with the fact that their city's most prominent figure was now the child that had seen his parents die. They were just curses - but this one felt pointed, felt sad, and while it was never easy to live with a Gotham curse, at least the fridge having teeth was a silly story to share with friends, in comparison to the constant tragedy Bruce Wayne wore.
It was almost a relief when he vanished. Even more so when, upon his return, the bleeding had eased - and Bruce had taken to wearing red undershirts under his suits, well-disguising his bleeding heart.
Alfred Pennyworth never told anyone about the blood trails through Wayne Manor, which had not abated in the intervening years, nor did he talk about what did eventually ease Bruce Wayne's curse.
After all - everyone knew you had to pay the price of your curse, and no Wayne would hold back from serving Gotham.
#sad dad time#number one is: man i bet damian has some wildly complicated feelings about the fact that#he thought hus dad was dead and his dad was also kind of a dick prior to that and#the person he started to lean on. who helped change him. now no longer occupies space in his life.#and number 2 is. DAMN wouldn't it be fucked up if i was REALLY MEAN to the batfam?#ala: hey Gotham's Fucked Up Man. it's just a silly little totally normal thing that all gothamites get cursed as they grow up :))#yeah my curse is that pencils always break in my hand.#and my friend told me that her brother's neighbour's sister keeps killing everything she touches! what no I've course I've never met her#other background curses i plan to sprinkle in: everytime you open the fridge it's full of eyes.#you can't drive motor vehicles because they always break down#none of your mail arrives at your address ever#your pants always rip in exactly the same spot every time. does not apply to skirts.#but the batfam ;3c their curses shall be Revealed in Due Time.#or you know. when i finish the fic dhdhdh#Bruce's is quite easily the bleeding heart!#alfred is British and not a gothamite so he doesn't have one#ask aussie#wip Weekend#moriartea42#THANK YOU FOR SENDING AN ASK 🥺🥺❤️❤️ I LOVE ASKS
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Greg in every episode of CSI (87/328) • Down The Drain •
#csi#greg sanders#nick stokes#sara sidle#warrick brown#gil grissom#catherine willows#csi s5#csi 5x02#there he is! my favourite white boy!#own post#mine: every episode#ok time to talk about Greg and Sara#i love them. not only are they my favourite duo in the whole show I have to argue that s5 is one of their best seasons for their friendship#Greg's crush on Sara is out of the way which leaves so much space for their platonic relationship to grow. their flirting/teasing is#so playful and completely lowstakes. Greg isn't trying to win over Sara anymore they're just having a good time and banter-ing#in episode 14 (i think?) after Sara gets suspended and Greg asks what happened she says she doesnt want to talk about it#and greg says hes a good listener Sara explains (briefly) and then they just move on is so wholesome its such an under-rated moment for the#and when he's like “Sara's been suspended? we have to help” is just so ultimate ride or die bestie#but what I think it most important is that whilst Grissom/Cath teach Greg how to actually BE a CSI and how to do the job Sara teaches him#how to DEAL with the job. like in this ep with Gregs first autopsy Sara asks how he found it and you just know that if Greg was more freake#by it she would allow him to say that without just being like “thats the job get on with it” which maybe some of the others would? and that#why I think Greg still has such a heart to the job. flash forward to s15 when the girl attacks Greg because shes been drugged and he gets S#SAD because he felt bad about not being able to help and calm her down I feel like thats bc of Sara :“)#anyway long stort short Greg and Sara are the best platonic pairing in CSI and i love them
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do you ever start writing something and go "hmm this one element doesn't quite make sense, I should come up with a good explanation for it," so you start trying to come up with an explanation...
and then you black out and wake up 3 days later with extensive worldbuilding that has gone WAY OFF TRACK and STILL DOESNT EVEN MAKE THE ORIGINAL THING WORK
#this is why my finished and somewhat-close-to-finished writing is all like... relatively canon-compliant fanfic#i cant do plot AND worldbuilding!! all my ideas start growing legs and climbing out of the ocean & im not fast enough to shove them back in#in this case. the starting concept was 'the government assigns everyone whos unmarried by 30 a spouse'#from a writing prompt blog a while ago i think#i had a small plot for this#but then i unwisely asked myself 'why would the government do that? that seems stupid. it would mostly just make people mad'#aaaand now we are at 'so like 200 years before the story starts the earth was attacked by space kaiju-'#all that WOULD be fine. except. the assigned spouse thing does not make any more sense than it did originally#and now the plot doesnt work!#bugs bunny for the love of god please help me dot jpg#personal#tin kitchen in the garret
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i've often yearned to be in a romantic relationship, from when i was pretty young to now even though i now recognize that i'm aromantic and it's not something i actually want when push comes to shove. and this probably isn't anything profound, but i've started to wonder recently if i'm actually yearning for a romantic relationship or if i'm yearning for a deeply meaningful, intimate, and loving relationship with somebody who i can trust and show all the parts of myself and know that they'll always be on my side and spend the rest of my life with, and society has just told me over and over and over again that i can't have that without the romance
#now i know what you're thinking:#'hey jay you talk a lot about queerplatonic relationships and how they're important#and you talk a lot also about how friendships are just as intimate and loving as romantic relationships'#and yeah i do! recently i've been involved in fandom spaces where we talk about these things (like malevolent)#with a lot of other aspec people who share their own experiences (esp. with malevolent with the aro!arthur headcanons)#but i've always been really bad at actually integrating that stuff into how i go about my own irl life#and tbh ... even if it crossed my mind before i never really thought it was a realistic thing to want yknow?#the thought of 'well who's going to give you what you want out of a relationship and be okay with it *not* being romantic'#has definitely crossed my mind many times#but idk! i've always just really wanted that One Person Who Will Be With You Always that i saw growing up irl and in media#and that i still see and love and want#and i still don't know if i personally will ever find somebody who i want that with who won't be looking for romance#but it's finally started to sink in i think that what i want and who i am are not two conflicting forces#i can want all the things that a romantic relationship has to offer (minus the romance of course) *and* i can be aromantic#and these are two things that can coexist#and that real people have! and that i'm seeing written into media! (malevolent my beloved)#it's just helped me wrap my head around all of this a little bit better#personal
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I've found that, when interacting with others (or myself), it's useful to consider the lessons I'd want to teach a growing child.
If a child makes a mistake, I wouldn't want them to feel shame. I wouldn't yell at them, humiliate them, or in any way indicate to them that their mistake is a reflection of their worth or of who they are as a person.
Instead, I'd want them to associate the process with love and joy. If they say something that hurts someone's feelings, or otherwise ostracizes someone in some way, I'd compassionately explain to them. Ideally, they'd walk away knowing why they said / did it in the first place, how to handle similar situations in the future, and would accept the consequences (e.g. if a friend no longer wanted to hang out with them).
While the consequences may sometimes be painful, I'd do my best to instill in them that mistakes are human and natural, and that the process of learning from these mistakes is an opportunity to improve connections with others and express love.
I have a tendency towards excessive guilt. Memories in which I've said / done something ignorant or hurtful are infused with this guilt and shame- but ideally, I'd feel a sense of love and peace, and perhaps happiness, when looking back on them. Because they were moments of growth, moments I learned how to be more compassionate (even if the actual learning came years later).
So I'll put this out into the void:
When you make a mistake, that is not a reflection of you as a person. It is a moment in time, a moment which was informed by your past experiences. Humans are not static labels, or monsters in an RPG game. We are social creatures who live and learn and react and grow and experience and love. Be gentle with yourself and move forward knowing you're doing so in accordance with your values.
#parenting#internet culture#self compassion#i'd also want to teach them critical thought of course - there are varying ideas of what constitutes mistakes or ignorance or harm#and that's a messy subject which is often a challenge to teach and is beyond the scope of this post but it's important#to avoid being subject to manipulation or becoming reactionary#but anyways#to clarify something in the tags here: it's okay of course to feel bad. that's a normal response. but it's not necessary. and a culture of#shaming people for their mistakes isn't helpful in the same ways it isn't helpful to do that to a child. people become defensive and/or#self-hating. divisive and reactionary and more easily manipulated. fearful and ashamed and avoidant. afraid of disagreements or of trying#anything new. increased all-or-nothing thinking and blowing things out of proportion. it just doesn't help in the long run#sometimes when someone says something i want to express hatred and mockery towards; i think of my trans friend who's full of light and love#and compassion. who came from a smaller more conservative community and used to have some of those same stances (and may still hold some of#those feelings/anxieties). and i remember that i can be firm on my boundaries and spread love and acceptance and safety *without* spewing#vitriol at anyone who makes even a minor mistake. i want people who were impacted by oppression and bias to have space to grow and#find safe communities and be able to think for themselves. i dont want to push them away or be another person in their life screaming at#them. there's always a person behind the screen.#like that doesnt mean i have to interact with them. in fact in most cases it's better to step away. and there are still unsafe people out#there- but yelling at them won't do any good either. saw a tip to focus on the people you want to help rather than the opposition#and that's been super helpful for me
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.
#also I know we don’t know anything about who or what inspired Ed’s the autumn variations album#so im not saying Taylor was the inspiration for this#but ‘page’ has always felt… resonant and given what we’re hearing this week#feels like it’s quite TTPD coded#not saying it’s about her just to be clear#I’m just saying the theme of someone cutting you down then ghosting you which leaves you in a tailspin is familiar#(the chorus maybe isn’t as relevant)#(but I am taken with the ‘I’m a half-read story / i was fine in the shelf / why’d you take me down as if I needed your help’)#(‘no prior warning no one to catch when I fell / now that you’re not around I’m not doing so well’)#and the ‘I’m in love with the ghost of you’ line#and ‘I look at what we had and I don’t understand’#‘Punchline’ is also… one that feels very relevant and is very similar#‘put me down so I’m in my place / say it’s over for breathing space / all I was was a route to change / is this just growing up?’
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we got bacl from grammie's wake. it was surprisingly pleasant despite how sad we were
#i gotta hand it to the funeral home--she really looked like she was asleep#mickey.txt#despite well. the occasion#it was a surprisingly pleasant get together#a lot of her old coworkers from when she worked at the supermarket were there#and i got to see my stepcousins i haven't seen since before covid#and it took my niece about an hour to get fidgety and antsy#which is an impressive for an 8 year old tbh#it was funny after awhile whenever the mood got really low my mom was like 'okay kid--do a cartwheel'#because my niece LOVES cartwheels and there was so much space for cartwheels#it was fun lol#just what grammie loved honestly; everyone sitting and shooting the shit#and the grandbaby/ies being cute#ngl everytime my niece did a cartwheel or jiggled the fidget toy i lent her#i had an instinctual gut reaction of 'SHH NOOO YOU'RE GONNA WAKE UP GRAMMIE'#i miss her already. i never got to bond with her the way i would've liked to#but she was a lovely grandma. the type that always fussed over everyone#'did you want anything sweetie?' 'jen you want help in the kitchen?' 'want me to do anything?' type of grandma lol#she was a worry wort but very sweet. growing up she always sewed us coats and dresses and blankets#she taught me how to knit; like 80% of my knitting stuff used to be hers#she gave me a whole carpet bag of knitting gear and yarn when i was like 14/15#she taught me card tricks when i was kid. she used loved brushing my hair but she used#her old lady metal brush that hurt lol#she used to take us to the library#and she used to take us to the movies a lot as kids but she'd take us to a convenience store first to buy our candy#and as kids we thought that was the coolest most badass thing in the world#growing up we used to spend a weekend at her house once every few months#and on sundays she'd take us to her mom's apartment to organize her pills and stuff#idk. im glad she was in my life but i miss her already. at least now she's with her mom and brother 💕
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as much as i see posts about alhaitham not having a single social clue and agree with all my heart i do not agree he's an intj. he's an entj with little social acumen and i will die on this fucking hill.
#octopondering#i say this as an intj--he's not exactly like me.#he actually makes an effort to work with people in a group setting and is a very good leader#despite not necessarily loving being in those positions#if he were an intj he would react like i do when someone says something i think is stupid#aka 'the adults are talking if you have nothing intelligent to say can it'#it's hard to describe since i'm not exactly an mbti nerd but i did chat with my best friend who IS#and they agree with me. so. i have sort of cited a reputable source#biggest thing i can say is i would never let someone invade my personal space because i thought taunting them was funny#like sure whatever mirrors of you help you grow but going yeah i'm gonna let this person i fight with all the time in my house?#extrovert behavior i would simply shrivel up and die#my social battery would constantly be in the negatives#fuck it. i'll tag this#alhaitham#al-haitham#genshin impact
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even deserves gentle forehead kisses
#and so do i but thats another problem#dw oc#thinking about. touch in their original environment is function only. necessity when it happens.#it is not a cruel thing. or not intentionally not by those doing it that even interacts with. because even does not. as a rule. interact#with anyone ‘Important’.#they are all simply following the same patterns they were raised with and have little reason to question because of the intense isolation of#space travel. i think a lot about. the inciting incident of even leaving is Sci-Fi Problems but more specifically. the death of someone#they were both attached to and felt responsible for. their older and previously injured coworker who would not be alive without even lying#about how much work he’s doing that they’re taking care of in reality. (which is a whole other thing. really the first things to know about#even are 1) that they will willingly put themselves in a position that endangers/harms them without hesitation if it means helping. and#2) even is a liar. that is what love does to them. for better and more often for worse. if it hurts — even will lie.#AND ANYWAY WE’RE GETTING OFFTRACK HERE#but the point is that what sticks in my mind that will go into a scene if i ever write anything about this#is that when that person dies. that person who even has built their life around protecting. buying just a little more time.#when the doctor is trying to pull even away because the danger is still present they are not safe it is still a threat. instead even squirms#away from him so that they can take their friends hand and put it on their cheek. and its still warm.#this is the person they were closest to. and this. this simple thing this simple contact. this is not something even has ever felt.#and their hand is growing cold.#anyway moving on from that this is why they should get cuddles#even headbonks the doctor to show affection like a cat pass it on.
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I just really love people and just how weird and dorky we all are just AAA
#sparkle sparjle woosh woosh#but no#you have no idea how much i want to tell my friends i love you becaause#they either made me laugh or had such an bright idea that i couldnt help but feel so very#thankful that out of all years and tkme and situations—here i am#with you talking#and im thankful yojre here and i love you in a sense of#being so very thankful for just being together in this time and space#maybe i overpraise a bit too much#i apologize if it seems like im flattering but#no i generally do think people are amazing and i want to see people grow#and feel more confident in themself#i guess sometimes it makes my words come flat due to how much i tend to praise people#hahah^^
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I was drawing and TwoCat came up and started kneading belly till I laid my legs down so she could sleep on me
Her snores restore years of my life
#thinking about how I want the gentle love and deep talks and someone who will help me grow#all while my brain is also screaming I HAVE THE BEST KITTIES EVER#but I’m so close to finishing and illustration#but I also wanna draw 👉🏻👈🏻 cute#so mean time I just vibe with my kitty#i got so much class work done#this essay is fucking long and it’s not even double spaced yet or with full quotes…oOps I did it againnn
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at home and being reminded of how much I love my room
#I don’t want to post a picture bc I’m paranoid that someone I know will find it but I’ll describe it#the walls are a sage green that’s starting to lean towards a light teal#I have floating shelves with my animals figurines and sculptures#my dresser has most of my plants. my buck skull. my loon sculptures. and a creepy clown doll#my scindapus pictus has a vine that’s a good 8 ft long that wraps around the top of my windows curtain rack#i also have a scindapus pictus exotica but it isn’t growing very fast#my windows go from my knees to above my head and let me look at the little patch of forest next to my house and our japanese maple#my bed is a double that I got for cheap from the mattress people because they felt bad about me being sick#I have a philodendron in a further corner and a grow light to help it but when I look into my window from outside it looks like growing weed#I haven’t lived in a house that wasn’t a rental since I was 5 and I forgot how nice it is to customize your living space#rant over I just love my room and home
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Erm !! Lil rant in da tags bc !! Erm !!
#idk but i feel like im going in the right direction for once#i feel like i struggled for so long with so many things#and a lot of it was me but i feel like this year rlly gave me space to grow#and i have grown. i think i get to say that#im not longer lonely and sad and angry all the time. like if you compared me to who i was four years ago you would be shocked#im a lot more confident. i feel comfortable accepting ppls friendship and whatever that entails. i dont get upset as easily#i mean even just comparing me to my senior yr of highschool. or even last year#and i think a large part of that is that things dont feel so one-sided anymore. like its not just me anymore#im not the only one helping out at home anymore so i can finally focus on myself#and ive made so many great friends that have opened me up like some kind of oyster#like the amount of times ive been called an extrovert is crazy bc i have NEVER been called that before#and i rlly think its thanks to all these wonderful people who have given me a chance and a space to be unapologetically me#even if its weird or freaky or sometimes a little off#i spent a long time inside myself bc i was scared but as time goes on i feel that fear less and less#im just really glad. im like genuinely happy#n especially when i look back on my old posts where i was in so much pain im just glad we were able to get to this point#im just surrounded by immensely cool people. my partner. my friends. my professors. my doctors.#like i was making progress before but i feel like ive been able to truly start healing this year#i love you all. you know who you are. erm!! if you see this post n then see me i will pretend i never made it !!! so erm!!!#king magnum thirst trap WHEN#rambles#sowwy for the lore dump do you still think my cock is huge
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✎ baby to the rescue
- gojo satoru x reader
in which gojo recruits your baby son to “save” you from a credit card salesman
genre: immense fluff !! baby gojo and dad!gojo shenanigans~
note: based on this and this reel. with this i hereby declare that anything past chapter 235 is null and void HAHA anyway, i truly want to post remarried empress au by this week but since 261 leaks hurt me so much, i need more fluff so have to postpone it to next week :') tagging @karikari19hikariiii <3
a part of gojo's love entries
general masterlist
Your husband Gojo Satoru... is handsome as hell, which means your baby son is also undeniably good-looking.
"Why do you pout at me?" Satoru poked his squirming baby's cheek while pursing his lips too. "C'mon, smile! That auntie is smiling at you!"
Everyone who passed by them in Shinjuku shopping district turned heads to admire him and his pumpkin just a little longer, and Satoru visibly enjoyed the attention. He smiled back at them, occasionally winking even.
If only they knew how pretty his wife was too...
Wait, no! On second thought, if they know how hot you are, there will be problems!
You had left him to go to the nearest pharmacy to restock some things, while Satoru decided to entertain his baby in the toy section. He basked in the starry-eyed looks people were giving him... until he heard some strange sounds and turned to his baby boy—
—who was chewing the beak of a duck toy with all his might. Satoru was mortified.
"—! Let that go! Your mama will beat me if she sees you eating this!"
Your baby paid him no mind though, desperately pushing the duck into his mouth. Satoru sat him on one of the empty racks and began the tug of war—
"Let go!" he reprimanded. "You're so naughty, gods—!"
Some people were now openly giggling at both of them. His son tried to resist by rolling, and Satoru clicked his tongue. He then yanked the toy away until his baby finally let it go, sniffling sadly that his papa wouldn't let him have the duck.
"Oh, you..." he picked him up again and consoled the pumpkin. "You can't do that, you hear? First, it's not clean. Second, mama will grow two heads to chew you and me both, understand?"
No, your son totally didn't understand a thing. Satoru sighed, seeing his little blue eyes welling up with tears. He ruffled his head and pulled him close. "There, there... I'll get you ice cream, okay? Now let's go."
Satoru was determined to turn his son back into a smiling, happy baby. But just as he was about to head towards the ice cream parlor, he encountered the most unbelievable sight—
"Miss! I guarantee you'll love this credit card features!"
You. That was clearly you, and a salesman (or a bozo, in Satoru's eyes) was trying to bother you.
You raised an eyebrow. "Uh, no— thank you—"
Yet the bozo was still persistent, like the pesky fly he was. "You can use it to pay for your monthly beauty treatments! Someone as pretty as you..." He eyed you from head to toe, blinking suggestively. "Oh my! Your skin is flawless! You have to maintain it this way! I can also give you recommendations for—"
You were wearing a flare dress that made you look so young and petite, and obviously, Satoru too was lusting after you. And true, your skin was smooth like a soft serve of mochi, but still!
You are meant for him and his eyes only! Oho, this bozo would get heavenly punishment.
He had to get to you somehow, but this was public space and if he cooked up some sort of shenanigan, you would put him in sex ban. I can't have that! so Satoru wracked his brain to think of another way...
Once again, his gaze fell on his now calm baby, who was also looking at his mama over there with utter curiosity. And an idea immediately popped up in his mind.
"Hey, kiddo, look at that, a bad man is trying to take your mama," Satoru nudged him as if trying to egg him on. "We can't let that happen. Will you help me to save her, hmm?"
"Mama..." your baby looked back at him so innocently before smiling. "Mamaaa!"
"Good boy." Gods, his baby was so adorable, he almost felt bad for doing this but...
Swallowing his guilt, thinking he would make it up later, he pinched his son's butt a little too firmly—
"WAAAA!" and suddenly, the little boy burst into tears, and even Satoru was surprised by the sheer volume of his wail.
The sudden inconsolable sound of your baby sent you scrambling in panic, your eyes wildly searching for him, completely disregarding the credit card man. "My baby!"
"Eh?" the credit card man was visibly surprised. "Oh... so, you're married...?"
You immediately made your way towards Satoru and snatched your baby from him, hugging him tightly. "Oh, there, there... What happened to you?" you shot your husband a distaste look as your son kept wailing. "Satoru, why is he crying?"
He nonchalantly shrugged. "Maybe missing his mama? Dunno~"
By now, you had completely forgotten the credit card bozo, but he still looked at the three of you in mild surprise. Satoru took this chance to approach him and whisper in his ear:
"You see, my wife doesn't need your credit card," he whistled. "My cards or lumpsum money will do more than enough."
After seeing how pale the bozo looked, Satoru chuckled darkly... before leading you and your son away from the crowd, with one arm possessively around your waist.
Epilogue
"I'm sorry— I'm sorry, okay!?"
Satoru looked down at his son in utter hopelessness, as the little boy refused to be held by him, looking at him with teary, resentful eyes, and backing away from him in his playpen.
Can babies hold a grudge? Satoru didn't know, but his son definitely was not happy with him, and he couldn't think of any other explanation other than his sin against him back this afternoon.
"I've bought you mochi ice cream!" he opened his palm to reveal the treat. "Don't you want some? Papa will give you some, yeah?"
Baby looked skeptical now, and at that moment, he resembled you so much—accusing eyes, pursed lips, exactly like the expression you would pull when you were unsure of what Satoru might do next. He almost chuckled at the resemblance, feeling giddy.
"C'mon, forgive me, yeah?" he patted his son's little beanie and offered his hand for him to take, eyes crinkling in fondness. "Now, here comes your treat, come closer?"
Your baby crawled closer, seemingly accepting him, and Satoru was all smiles, until—
Whack!
It happened in a flash. He could have avoided it, but he was too taken aback. The pain exploded in his jaw, so intense that he grunted loudly.
"What the—?! You... you—! You kicked me— in the face!"
#𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#satoru gojo x reader#jjk drabbles#gojo satoru#satoru x reader#jjk imagines#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo satoru fluff#jjk fluff#gojo x you#satoru gojo fluff#jjk x reader fluff#gojo fluff#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jjk fic#jjk fanfic#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#gojo satoru imagines#dad!gojo#jjk gojo satoru#jutusu kaisen x reader#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo
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