#(the chorus maybe isn’t as relevant)

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

.

[scooburst]

See I hadn’t heard thick of it so I reviewed it

This was painful

Also my teacher made me do it

1. It’s melody is stagnant

The same fucking riff for every single verse? Come on man. You need something, some sorts of change, and just playin the same one over does nothing. Besides it doesn’t fit the song or every verse. The beat doesn’t match either. Basic concept here man.

2. It’s lyrics suck

They aren’t creative. It’s the same line, using glaze and a sub count to prove self worth. Just exposing an ego. And it doesn’t make sense. Let’s look at the progression we are givin in the second verse. Screen, ring, pen, king. SCREEN? Probably means YT? But to RING? HUH. Nobody knows what you mean. Then pen, cool songs ig, then KING? King of what? Emphasize. Explain what your the king of. Cuz I don’t see anyone crowning you. Now, somethinf about where’s your crown? On someone else’s head. That’s your “bling” that’s old terms. You gotta stay relevant man. Then drama when you “ring”? Calling someone? Posting a video? Tweet, post… who knows. But I don’t see any drama. The chorus (which is played TOO MUCh) is also so confusing. Thick of it? Thick of what, nobody knows what that means. Who are you trying to call out? Then. Skiing in. Cool, ice theme, maybe USE THAT. STICK WITH A THEME. DONT GO OFF ONTO SOMETHIN ELSE. Then some shit about ice? And? Being cold? Sir? What does that mean? You gotta like. Make sense. Then moving on into the next verse. A rap portion from someone else. It’s. REALLY dry. And not memorable. What is this, 2010? You don’t have to bring in some nobody rapper, write a goddamn verse and do it yourself. Backtrack to the start. You aren’t in your prime. Either you past it or you’re not there yet. You’re glazing yourself too early, mate. Wheel back to the chorus. “This is how the story goes” what story. This implies the song has meaning. What meaning. You aren’t saying it. You aren’t projecting it. You aren’t sticking with it. Not even implying it.

3. It’s all so fake

You wanna make a REaL song? Then get some real instruments. Get real lyrics, cuz I don’t hear no emotion in those, no honesty. You aren’t projecting into the mic, you’re talking. If you won’t back up whay your saying with the tone, then it’s hard to take it seriously. And the melody? That’s fake. That guitar isn’t real, anyone can tell. Do you not hear how it’s being played? No. And by the way, the only change is in the metronome beat you’ve got thay is mixing up the beat of the song and not being consistent. The only change in the songs instrumental is a few audial effects. You have to drop in more. Build it. But it’s just. Monotone. The emotion never changes. You need to set one and build on it.

4. Now I’ll point out anything positive about it.

He sang coherently.

[airenyah]

TinnGun Aquarium Date: Where Did Tinn’s Sharks Suddenly Come From and How Are They Connected to Liking Gun?

So in episode 7 when TinnGun go on the aquarium date with Yo and his girl there is a bit of dialogue that really confused me back when the episode aired. And maybe it confused you too. So now I’m here to share some background information with you.

I’m talking about this specific line:

Back when the episode aired I just didn’t understand why Tinn was suddenly talking about sharks when he had just been referencing their date. Where did that thought suddenly come from? What’s the connection between those topics, how did Tinn get from their date to sharks and biting to liking Gun?

Well, you see, I wasn’t able to follow because I had completely forgotten about one key element here: ฉลามชอบงับคุณ (= “sharks like biting you”) is a song by Bonnadol ft. IIVY B and Tinn is directly quoting the first line of the chorus to Gun. Cue the ensuing jokes about sharks and liking and biting.

Now you might see this and think “Ohhh so it’s a song reference and that song suddenly popped into Tinn’s mind so that’s why he’s randomly changing the topic. Plus, the song talks about sharks and liking so that’s how Tinn made the mental jump from ‘sharks may bite you’ to ‘I like you’. Got it, thanks.” and, well... yes. That’s the short answer. However, there is more to discover in this scene and more word play going on in Thai.

So come with me on a deep dive into the dialogue of this scene and find out what exactly is happening here in Thai.

We’re gonna take a closer look at Ep7 [3/4] from 10:10 onwards till pretty much the end of the scene. The given English translation of the dialogue goes as follows:

Tinn: Sharks, they may bite you. But I like you, no bite. Gun: Are you flirting or what? Here. Let me tell you something. If you want to hit on someone, use your own line. (laughs) Sharks, they may bite you. (Tinn steals Gun’s snack) Tinn: Sharks, they like to bite. I do too, but only the one I like. Gun: Bite, my ass! (laughs and shakes his head) Tinn: Look at you now. I bet you like the one that bites you.

Before we go and take a closer look at what is hidden in the original Thai lines, let me give you a quick vocabulary lesson, though:

ครับ [kráp] – often also transliterated as krub. If you’re an experienced thdrama watcher you are likely familiar with this word. But if you’re new here: ครับ [kráp] is a particle that is added at the end of a sentence to make that sentence formal and polite. ครับ [kráp] is typically used by men, while women typically use ค่ะ [khâ] instead. (You’ll also hear this particle as an answer to or confirmation of a statement/request/order/etc., but this isn’t relevant for the scene we’re about to discuss.)

ชอบ [chôp] – to like. If you’re an experienced thdrama watcher you’ve also heard this one a lot. However, what you might not know is that this word can also be used to talk about a habit or about what someone/something tends to do. Earlier I translated the song title ฉลามชอบงับคุณ [chà-lăam chôp ngáp kun] as “sharks like biting you” but it could also mean something like “sharks tend to bite you”. (word for word the title makes shark(s) – like/tend to – bite{cute} – you{formal})

ผม [pŏm] – formal/polite first person pronoun for males (I)

คุณ [kun] – formal/polite second person pronoun (you)

งับ [ngáp] – cutesy word for “to bite”

Part 1: The Song

Now with that out of the way I want to take a look at the first line of the chorus from the song:

ฉลามน่ะชอบงับคุณ ส่วนผมน่ะชอบคุณงับ [chà-lăam nâ chôp ngáp kun • sùuan pŏm nâ chôp kun ngáp]

So this line is made up of two sentences:

ฉลามน่ะชอบงับคุณ [chà-lăam nâ chôp ngáp kun]: This is the first sentence and translates to “sharks tend to bite you” or “sharks like biting you” which is also the song’s title.

ส่วนผมน่ะชอบคุณงับ [sùuan pŏm nâ chôp kun ngáp]: This is the second sentence and translates to “as for me, I like you”.

So here we can immediately see how talking about sharks and biting leads to talking about liking someone and it’s through the repeated use of the word ชอบ [chôp] aka “to like”. First the singer talks about what sharks like (biting), then the singer talks about what he himself likes (“you”).

But there’s more!

Maybe you’ve already noticed that there is another word from our vocabulary lesson that is repeated in both sentences:

ฉลามน่ะชอบงับคุณ ส่วนผมน่ะชอบคุณงับ [chà-lăam nâ chôp ngáp kun • sùuan pŏm nâ chôp kun ngáp]

Yes, the word งับ [ngáp] gets repeated as well. Now you might be a little confused, because I just told you that this translates to the verb “bite” and I also just said that the second sentence translates to “as for me, I like you”. How does the biting fit into this sentence?

Well, so the thing is… Remember the very first word from our list? Remember ครับ [kráp]? Maybe you’ve also noticed that I put it on the vocabulary list, but then it doesn’t even show up in the song lyrics at all...

Except, it does! It just doesn’t look or sound like ครับ [kráp]. It sounds like งับ [ngáp], aka the word that I just pointed out that also gets repeated in both lines.

So, as you might have guessed by now งับ [ngáp] can either be a cute way of saying “to bite” or it can also be used as a cutesy word for the polite particle ครับ [kráp]. Tinn has already used งับ [ngáp] in this sense on Gun back in episode 2 when he was pretending to be Lion, like we can see here for example:

ลองไปที่นี่ดู แล้วพี่จะรู้เองงับ [long bpai tîi nîi duu • láeo pîi jà rúu eng ngáp] try–go–to–this–see ��� then–older sibling–will–know–self–[cutesy polite particle]

Now let’s go back to the second sentence of the song and take a look at the pronouns: ส่วนผมน่ะชอบคุณงับ [sùuan pŏm nâ chôp kun ngáp] (= “as for me, I like you”).

The singer here uses the polite first person pronoun ผม [pŏm] when he refers to himself and the polite second person pronoun คุณ [kun] when he says “you”. These are pretty formal pronouns that usually also come with a polite particle. So technically the sentence “I like you” with these formal pronouns should go ผมชอบคุณครับ [pŏm chôp kun kráp] – literally “I like you krub”. However, the singer wants to be cute, so he switches the polite particle ครับ [kráp] with the cutesy form งับ [ngáp] and sings “I like you ngáp” instead.

(On this note, some interesting tidbit: according to my Thai friend who I discussed this scene and song with, in his words, it’s mainly “lesbian tomboys” who use งับ [ngáp]. He said men might use it in writing but don’t really say it.)

Anyway, now that we know that the song lyrics make “Sharks like to ngáp you. As for me, I like you ngáp”, let’s see what they do with it in MSP.

Part 2: Tinn and Biting

The dialogue starts out with Tinn saying “Sharks, they may bite you. But I like you, no bite”. At least it does according to the English subtitles. What he really says in Thai is this:

ฉลามอะ ชอบงับคุณ ส่วนผมอะ ชอบคุณงับ [chà-lăam à • chôp ngáp kun • sùuan pŏm à • chôp kun ngáp] shark(s)–[particle] • like–bite–you {formal} • as for–I {formal}–[particle] • like–you {formal}–[cutesy polite particle]

Here is the line from the song in comparison:

ฉลามน่ะชอบงับคุณ ส่วนผมน่ะชอบคุณงับ [chà-lăam nâ chôp ngáp kun • sùuan pŏm nâ chôp kun ngáp] shark(s)–[particle]–like–bite–you {formal} • as for–I {formal}–[particle]–like–you {formal}–[cutesy polite particle]

As we can see, Tinn is pretty much directly quoting that line of song to Gun. So a more literal translation of what he’s saying here would be something along the lines of “Sharks like biting you. As for me, I like you”. Or rather, if we remember the word play with the word งับ [ngáp] = to bite and งับ [ngáp] = cute form of ครับ [kráp], what he’s saying is actually “Sharks like to ngáp you. As for me, I like you ngáp”.

This makes Gun laugh and he says “Are you flirting or what? Here. Let me tell you something. If you want to hit on someone, use your own line.”

Now that we know Tinn quoted a line of a song we also understand that Gun recognizes it as such and that when he says “use your own line” it’s actually him calling Tinn out for quoting a song instead of coming up with his own original pick-up line.

Gun then turns away and repeats the first part of the song lyrics to himself, still very amused: ฉลามชอบงับคุณ [chà-lăam chôp ngáp kun] (= “sharks like biting you”).

Tinn was just scolded for not being original in his flirting and what does he do? He “bites” Gun and then, according to the subtitles, says: “Sharks, they like to bite. I do too, but only the one I like.”

Now let’s once again look at what’s happening in Thai. What Tinn is saying here is this:

ฉลามอะ ชอบงับคุณ ส่วนผมอะ งับคนที่ชอบ [chà-lăam à • chôp ngáp kun • sùuan pŏm à • ngáp kon tîi chôp]

Let’s bring up the song lyrics again:

ฉลามน่ะชอบงับคุณ ส่วนผมน่ะชอบคุณงับ [chà-lăam nâ chôp ngáp kun • sùuan pŏm nâ chôp kun ngáp]

We can immediately see that Tinn is once again directly quoting almost the entire line of the lyrics to Gun. He repeats the whole “Sharks like biting you. As for me…” part, but then he unexpectedly changes the last part. This time around he doesn’t end the sentence with “I like you ngáp” (ชอบคุณงับ [chôp kun ngáp]) like the song does, instead he ends it with:

งับคนที่ชอบ [ngáp kon tîi chôp] bite–person/people–that–like

Since Thai doesn’t have plural forms, this can be translated as “I bite the person that I like” or “I bite the people I like”. So what’s happening here is that after being scolded for being unoriginal, Tinn then quotes the song again but decides to prove that he can indeed think of a line on his own by changing the second sentence from “as for me, I like you” to “as for me, I bite the person/people I like”.

What’s kinda interesting to me here is that the second sentence from the song talks about คุณ [kun] (= “you”) and Tinn in his own continuation talks about คน [kon] (= person/people). I find it interesting, because these two words sound very similar. In fact, when I tried to transcribe the Thai lines I actually wasn’t sure whether Tinn was saying คุณ [kun] or คน [kon] here. It sounded like งับคน [ngáp kon] (= bite person) to me, but I was a little unsure since the song itself talks about งับคุณ [ngáp kun] (= bite you). I played it to my Thai friend and he too had to listen to it a couple of times before deciding that it must be คน [kon] as that would make more sense.

Alright, moving on. So Tinn has just quoted the song again but with a changed ending: “Sharks like to bite you. As for me, I bite the person/people I like.” Gun doesn’t know how to response to this, so after a moment of consideration he comes up with a witty comeback: “Bite, my ass!”

(Fun fact: the expression he uses here that was translated as “my ass” in English is พ่อมึง [pâaw mueng] which literally translates to “your father”. If you’re a German speaker: it means Gun is essentially saying „Deine Mutter!!“ in response lmao. Brilliant comeback, really. Extremely witty. Good job, kiddo.)

Unfortunately for Gun, Tinn’s whole flirting tactic, as silly as it was, has in fact worked on him and he can’t help but laugh again in an “I can’t believe this is the man I have chosen to love” kind of way.

Now it’s Tinn’s turn to call Gun out for it: “Look at you now. I bet you like the one that bites you.” That’s how the subtitles put it. But one last time I wanna take a look at the original Thai lines.

Tinn says two sentences here and the second sentence is more relevant for the whole song reference/word play thing, but since you’ve made it all the way here I assume you like languages and would be interested in knowing the literal meaning of Tinn’s words where the subtitles go “Look at you now”, so I’ll just tell you that too while I’m at it.

So all in all Tinn says:

อาการแบบนี้อะ สงสัยชอบคนที่งับ [aa-gaan bàep níi à • sŏng-săi chôp kon tîi ngáp]

That first sentence (อาการแบบนี้อะ [aa-gaan bàep níi à]) is a little difficult to translate for me because I don’t really know what to do with the first word, but the แบบนี้ [bàep níi] part means “like this”. The first word is อาการ [aa-gaan] which can mean “symptom” or “condition”. According to thai2english.com other meanings also include “expression” or “manner”. All in all, what Tinn is essentially doing here is pointing out Gun’s reaction, so I think to make it sound more natural and not too weird in English we could maybe say something along the lines of “A reaction like this...” for this line.

As for the other thing Tinn says, it’s this:

สงสัยชอบคนที่งับ [sŏng-săi chôp kon tîi ngáp] suspect–like–person(s)–that–bite

As I said earlier, Thai doesn’t do plural forms. Nor does it do articles. And yet another thing that Thai often doesn’t do is pronouns, meaning pronouns are often left out of the sentence entirely. Such is the case here, so this sentence could mean one of the following:

I suspect you like a person that bites.

I suspect you like the person that bites.

I suspect you like the person that bites you.

I suspect you like people that bite.

I suspect you like people that bite you.

Now what’s fun about this line is once again the word play and the reference to Tinn’s line from earlier when he said “I bite the person/people I like”. Let’s do some more comparison.

So this is what Tinn says to Gun right after he steals the snack by “biting” Gun:

ส่วนผมอะ งับคนที่ชอบ [sùuan pŏm à • ngáp kon tîi chôp] as for–I {formal}–[particle] • bite–person(s)–that–like

And this is what he’s saying to Gun now:

สงสัยชอบคนที่งับ [sŏng-săi chôp kon tîi ngáp] suspect–like–person(s)–that–bite

The reason why this is fun is that Tinn switches the words งับ [ngáp] and ชอบ [chôp]. Where first he said งับคนที่ชอบ [ngáp kon tîi chôp] (lit. “bite–person(s)–that–like” = “[I] bite [the] person/people that [I] like”) he now says ชอบคนที่งับ [chôp kon tîi ngáp] (lit. “like–person(s)–that–bite” = “[You] like [the] person/people that bite [you]”).

Let’s look at it again side by side to really see how delightful that is:

งับคนที่ชอบ [ngáp kon tîi chôp] bite–person(s)–that–like

ชอบคนที่งับ [chôp kon tîi ngáp] like–person(s)–that–bite

What’s more, Tinn switching around the words is reminiscent of, if not a deliberate callback to the word switch from the original song lyrics that started it all:

ชอบงับคุณ [chôp ngáp kun] like–bite–you {formal}

ชอบคุณงับ [chôp kun ngáp] like–you {formal}–[cutesy polite particle]

Part 3: Summary

Since this was an overwhelming amount of information in one go I’ve put all the dialogue into a table so you can look at it again side by side:

As you can see, I’ve also included the official English subtitles for those who are curious. However, I wanna stress that this isn’t to imply “the eng subs suck and I did it better!!!1!11”. I’ve put my own “literal” translation into the table mainly because the word-for-word translation of the Thai lines can be pretty confusing and I wanted to put it into a more natural sounding English so that it would make more sense.

You’ll also notice that I’ve put some of the pronouns into square brackets. That is to signify that the Thai sentence doesn’t include any pronouns there, which is relevant mainly for Tinn’s very last line as the English sentence could work either with or without the second “you”.

As for the curly brackets in the Thai column, those indicate the level of formality or the connotation of a word, especially of the pronouns.

The red text marks every time when the song lyrics are being quoted.

In Conclusion

All in all, what is happening in this scene is that Tinn quotes a line of a silly little song that includes a silly little pun and then when Gun scolds him for being unoriginal Tinn goes and takes that silly little word play even further, turning it into his own thing. And the most delightful part about it is that it absolutely works on Gun, as much as he may hate to admit it.

[thesinglesjukebox]

ARIANA GRANDE - "WE CAN'T BE FRIENDS (WAIT FOR YOUR LOVE)

Not a Robyn cover?...

[6.47]

Hannah Jocelyn: This is “Dancing On My Own (Ariana’s Version)," so the floor is pretty high. It’s honestly so close to being a masterpiece on the level of “Into You” but it's undone by the Robyn-shaped elephant in the room and some truly bizarre chorus phrasing. "Pre-e-e-tend" is not that many syllables! The original isn’t perfect; the chorus has little to no impact because it’s nearly the same arrangement as the verse. And yet, this remake has its own issues: the backing vocals are so absurdly loud they overwhelm the synths and the actual lead (maybe an attempt at Dolby Atmos-style depth), and when the Aris disappear we’re just left with empty space — not negative space, empty space. You have a whole orchestra at the end, use it! The lyrics are definitely not as memorable as “DOMO”, either; that song endures for its universal sentiment as much as its melody, and this is most interesting if you’re invested in Ariana Grande's life. She is giving it her all, particularly with a soaring bridge straight out of Ellie Goulding's Halcyon, but between this track and its inspiration, I’m not sure this is the song I’m taking home. [6]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: I abjured this sort of thing when Georgia brought it to me; I cannot quite resist Ari's own offering to the same extent (it has an actual hook, at least), but it still feels slightly hackish to make this sort of song in 2024. We simply must have some better way to convey the complex cocktail of melancholy and defeated joy that accompanies remembrances of loves just slightly out of reach than doing Body Talk cosplay, right? It's been more than a decade! There are kids starting high school this fall who were born after "Dancing on My Own" came out! Let the past die; abandon the sophistipop trappings of this stagnant cultural moment; keep the bit where you say "silence" and then the beat stops, it's cute! [5]

Tim de Reuse: A catchy, flattened synthpop preset that never reaches for greatness or shows any restraint trudges along with all the emotion of an industrial process. For every moment of insight there is an Ariana-ism ("At least I look this good?" Come on, how is that relevant?) that flicks us away again. Paint-by-numbers unremarkable — and yet, somewhere in the glossy chorus there is the imprint of something truly pathetic; nothing in her delivery of "wait until you like me again" implies that things are ever going to get better, and for a moment the dullness congeals into something. We get a true, insistent flash of the horror of anhedonia, the dead-behind-the-eyes dread of a lonely weekend, the sisyphean task of rewiring yourself to no longer want. I don't know if it's deliberate. But it's compelling, strange, sad. [7]

Mark Sinker: Ariana has a kind of implacable wax-figure dizziness which is probably what I do think makes for good music, even when it distresses me a bit in people.  [8]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: A Robyn track with none of the pathos, "we can't be friends (wait for your love)" is all shallow signification. Grande's voice is too airy to be emotive, and she delivers every line with too much consideration for phrasing. Strangely, it doesn't seem like she even cares what she's saying, though though. And even the beat seems vacant. [4]

Alfred Soto: In another demonstration of her newfound fealty to mild sentiments set to milder beats, Ariana Grande scratch-coos through a closing door that she leaves open at the last second. "You cling to your paper and pens" still stands out on the twentieth play — is it this kind of weirdness that redeems her boy? [6]

Michael Hong: The line about papers and pens is funny — strange enough to make you believe it's specific without actually being much of anything. Not contracts and whatever the hell a real estate agent does because maybe Grande couldn't figure out how to fit that into song or maybe, like me, she just doesn't know. All throughout "we can't be friends," she hangs on this idea of herself being misunderstood: "I didn't think you'd understand me" or "you got me misunderstood." She craves the feeling of being understood, liked, and loved, without reciprocity in her mind. Perhaps that's why sitting in her car right outside the club doesn't feel like a revelation but a reminder of the vacancy that needs to be filled in. To that end, the strobe synth is a comfort, a sharp first breath away from the noise, a couple minutes of pleasure before the loneliness settles in. [7]

Anna Suiter: Even if I had a huge crush on Elijah Wood as a teenager, I never actually watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Now I think I don't have to. [7]

Jackie Powell: When assessing the chart performance for both of Ariana Grande’s Eternal Sunshine singles, Chris Molanphy astutely compared the general public’s response to Grande’s "Yes, And?" to Taylor Swift’s "Look What You Made Me Do." He explained that both singles didn’t last on the charts or in the cultural zeitgeist because they weren’t relatable to listeners. To complete the comparison, “we can't be friends (wait for your love)” has the potential of Swift’s “Delicate,” which was also produced by Max Martin and achieved incremental "narrative changing" success. The recipe is there: "we can't be friends" is more introspective, vulnerable and polysemous than its predecessor. The track, heavily influenced by Robyn’s “Dancing on My Own,” is less catty than Grande's last single; it reveals that she has the capacity to express and perform complex emotions. An issue I take with Grande as an artist is her struggle to lean into her performance, connect with her audience, and emote; she’s often just focused on how she sounds technically. (This is yet another reason why I believe she was miscast in Wicked.) She often struggles telling her story compellingly when she performs live. On “we can't be friends,” however, there’s more of an effort to make the listener internalize the sadness and the longing. Her enunciation helps. When Grande performed “we can't be friends” live for the first time on SNL, she was stiff and awkward and refused to look at the camera with open eyes — a trend during most of her live performances — until the final chorus, which seemed like a turning point for the track as SNL seemed like one for her career. Is this a preview of what’s to come this November in Oz? We’ll have to wait and see.  [8]

Leah Isobel: Yes, Ariana, I also think "Dancing On My Own" is a great song! [7]

Nortey Dowuona: I hope Davide Rossi has made back his money, because if I get credit for playing the violin, viola, and cello and have most of my work drowned out by Max Martin and Ilya Salmanzadeh’s limp, ED drums and only get 26 seconds of my hard arrangement to play, I’m going to be pissed. Oh, and if I hear it and it’s bad, I'm disavowing it completely. [3]

Katherine St. Asaph: Everyone thinks this sounds like "Dancing on My Own." They are wrong. What this sounds like is a "Hang With Me" chimera: the synths of Robyn's track with the uncathartic energy of Paola Bruna's original. For this reason, and others that don't need elaborating here, I can't remember the last time I was so disappointed by a song. [5]

Ian Mathers: I mean, genuine kudos to Grande for making a kind of passive aggressive breakup song with the press (and/or stans?) so genuinely affecting. I hope those crazy kids can make it work. [7]

Taylor Alatorre: On paper, an anthem about a "break-up with the media" seems too-cute-by-half, a way of trying to hijack our neural pathways in order to smuggle in sympathy for one of the most inherently unapproachable pop star problems. But if "we can't be friends" is nothing other than an attempt at manipulation, of getting the listener on Ariana's side, it isn't any more underhanded than all the little manipulations we use on each other on a daily basis. In fact, it's surprisingly candid. There's some diagetic honesty in her trying to critic-proof her message by attaching it to a more blatantly Robyn-derived template than anything Carly Rae's ever put out, a move that expresses deference more than defiance. And the telegraphed moment of silence, though I laughed the first time I heard it, is a nice way of actualizing the meditative, acceptance-focused vibe while also, through the piped-in urban ambience, hinting at the unsettled feelings that still lie beneath. The grandiose strings of the finale, which in other contexts might ring false, are here used to show just how seriously Ariana takes all of this -- a head-held-high defense of her own confessions of dependence and neediness. There will always be room for songs that admit we actually do care what the haters think of us. [8]

Isabel Cole: Ariana at her most ethereal and Max at his most shimmering and sparkly make this aggressively me-bait, and that’s before the Robyn-reminiscent closer in which the synths fade to let the strings swell send us out. The track is just stupidly gorgeous, a lush soundscape made up of parts meticulously arranged exactly as they should be, each piece necessary, none of it overplayed. Ariana delivers her lines with almost no affect at all, steadfastly refusing to differentiate the lines in tone or intensity, which would normally be a deficit but in this case allows her voice to simply take its rightful place as one of many lovely noises making something wonderful; I like that her high note in the bridge is a little weak, a pleasant jolt of humanness in the midst of this impeccable construction. The lyrics are irrelevant, both because she could not sound less invested in them (compliment) and because every time that warm bass kicks in the language centers of my brain shut down to better appreciate details like that first descending synth line that kicks in partway through the first verse or the twinkling effect in the bridge; having looked them up, I have to say there are worse strategies for dealing with the haters than offering them the aural equivalent of a warm bath dotted with rose petals. [9]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[thanaredreamtof]

Soundtracks for current threads: @loveaffairxc

Justin x Felicity

This has been one of my favourite threads to ever write if I’m being honest. I love the tension, the hesitation, the drama…you’re a phenomenal writer and I can see everything playing out so clearly.

“I heard that you're settled down, that you found a girl and you're married now, I heard that your dreams came true, guess she gave you things, I didn't give to you

Old friend, why are you so shy? Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light, I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvited, but I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it, I had hoped you'd see my face, and that you'd be reminded that for me, it isn't over

Never mind, I'll find someone like you, I wish nothing but the best for you, too”

This one really doesn’t need much explaining, the first verse and the chorus just sums up their current situation perfectly. I can so see a montage of him on his honeymoon, thinking of Felicity while he smokes and his wife sleeps, all the while Felicity has moved to London and spends her months going out and getting drunk to try and forget everything that happened. Old friend…showing up out of the blue…it isn’t over??

“Oh, I'm scared to see the ending, why are we pretending this is nothing? I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how, I've never heard silence quite this loud

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room, and we're not speaking and I'm dying to know, is it killing you like it's killing me yeah

I don't know what to say since the twist of fate, when it all broke down and the story of us, looks a lot like a tragedy now”

I mean…this song was written for them. When it all broke down? The beach scene? I’d tell you I miss you but I don’t know how???? I’ve never heard SILENCE QUITE THIS LOUD? - both the beach scene and their first meeting in the art gallery again.

F loyd x Felicity

I am loving these two so much, and I think this first song could also fit our Diana and Tommy thread too but….

This song screams Felicity and Floyd. Please don’t be in love with someone else? Im wonderstruck blushing all the way home?

The first verse especially reminds me a lot of Floyd, and maybe his version of seeing Felicity.

“There I was again tonight

Forcing laughter, faking smiles

Same old tired, lonely place

Walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy

Vanished when I saw your face

All I can say is, it was enchanting to meet you”

That just reminds me a lot of his relationship with his father, and how people avoid him because he is so powerful.

But then I think these words really fit both of them:

“My thoughts will echo your name, until I see you again

These are the words I held back, as I was leaving too soon

I was enchanted to meet you

Please don't be in love with someone else

Please don't have somebody waiting on you”

These words are really interesting because I think of how Floyd first worried that Felicity was in a relationship and had a child, and then realised she wasn’t, and in reverse she thought he may be single and then realised he was engaged. “Please don’t be in love with someone else” is very relevant for them.

[birdsareflocking]

A weird, rambling Magnus Archives essay

I have found a song that just encapsulates the s4 Jonmartin dynamic and I need to talk about it.

The Stops – Elbow

The song as a whole is from Jon’s perspective as he ruminates on his relationship with Martin while trying to save him from The Lonely, it’s a very melancholic song with the verses being very quiet and withdrawn and the chorus being a swell of orchestral music. It perfectly represents the mix of Jon’s quiet grief of losing Martin during the whole season and his desperation while trying to find him in The Lonely.

Verse one starts with the lyrics ‘I can’t undo the day, it won’t go, won’t go under the rug.’ This represents Jon’s monstrous guilt he carries round particularly the way he treated Martin in the first season, how his paranoia in the second season seemingly destroyed most of his relationships and also his realisation in MAG 159 where he says ‘I did this to him as much as you.’ He can never let that guilt go as he feels he is truly responsible for everything that happened. In Verse one again the lyrics ‘I pull out the stops, until you pull the plug’ to me this means that Jon will get Martin back by any means possible but Martin is trying sever himself from everyone, ‘Pull the plug’ could also relate to an ending or maybe even Jon dying like when Martin says to him ‘You died Jon’ as almost a finality, or at least that’s how Jon sees it. It’s almost a direct reversal to their season one dynamic.

The Pre-chorus starts off with ‘These are sober days’ Which can be seen as someone recovering from an addiction, this could relate to Jon’s need for statements which isn’t a direct relation but still relevant. The lyric ‘And I know it can’t be’ could be referring to the conversation Jon and Martin had where Martin has to tell Jon to ‘stop finding him.’ This could also relate to Peter Lukas’s taunting at him where he says ‘How much do you really know each other.’ Jon isn’t entirely sure whether this relationship even exists however the next lyric ‘But I’ll miss you the way, you miss the sea’ shows a counter to that point, the ‘but’ means he’s not ready to give up yet. To me this lyric is the most important lyric in the entire song it shows how messy their relationship is and how Martin could be truly lost in the Lonely. ‘You miss the sea’ relates to Martin in the Lonely as it is set on the seaside, Jon will ‘miss (him) the way (he) misses the sea’ talks to how comforting The Lonely can be like when Martin says ‘Nothing hurts here. It’s just quiet. Even the fear is gentle here.’ and how there’s a sort of numb ache where it isn’t. It also relates to Jon’s own Loneliness and how he never realised how much he needed Martin until it was too late.

Throughout the chorus there’s a line ‘Don’t look down’ that repeats after every lyric and this relates to the moment in MAG 159 where Jon is pleading with Martin to stay, it reminds me of the line ‘But we need you. I need you.’ The first lyric of the chorus is ‘Keep staring like you’ve never seen the stars,’ which, in this context, reminds me of Jon’s line ‘I don’t just want to survive.’ Because in media the stars are normally meant to represent hope like Oscar Wilde’s quote ‘All of us are in the gutter but some of us are looking up at the stars.’ And so the ‘Keep staring’ is Jon trying to give hope to Martin to get him to stay, the ‘like you’ve never seen the stars.’ Is Jon telling him to keep searching for a reason just like how Martin became Jon’s reason. The second lyric ‘If you need me to remind you who you are.’ Immediately reminds me of Jon compelling Martin to ‘Tell me what you see.’ It’s very intimate but also hesitant the ‘If’ reminds me of Jon’s line in MAG 159 ‘I thought you might be lost.’ It gives Martin the choice to decide if he is lost or not, it’s the same thing for ‘If you need me to remind me who you are.’ It’s giving them the choice to decide if they need that or not. It’s Jon letting Martin know that he is here but not expecting anything of him, he will step down just like the line in the first verse ‘I pull out the stops, Until you pull the plug.’

The next line is ‘Little blossom there’s the shiniest soul, just behind those eyes.’ This line is talking about Martin and how he is there underneath all that Loneliness and he just needs to be Seen.  

The second verse starts with ‘No longer my affair, well I can’t go there just yet.’ This, to me, is about how this is far bigger than just Jon and Martin but this doesn’t mean anything to Jon he just wants Martin to be safe. The next lyric is ‘So I’ve come to love and trust those friends, that are holding your net.’ This shows Jon’s character development from the distrustful, paranoid man he was in the earlier seasons to the more trusting man he becomes and he learns to lean on people, this includes leaving Daisy and Basira to protect the institute while he goes and saves Martin with barely any thought behind that decision.

The Pre-chorus starts with ‘Falling off used to mean, maybe grazing a knee.’ This line speaks to childhood innocence and alludes to the childhood stereotype of climbing trees, the idea of ‘falling off’ is something a lot bigger and more metaphorical, possibly intending that the speaker has failed in the relationship, in this context could mean the decrease in contact that they experienced during this time that Jon automatically assumes it was his fault entirely. This is coupled with ‘And I’ll miss you the way, you miss the sea.’ The ‘and’ shows that Jon is resigned to the fact that Martin is gone forever mostly because of Peter Lukas telling him it’s his fault that his friends are dead. Then the chorus comes back in full force like how Jon did saying ‘Or perhaps you could answer some questions.’ Taking the control to save Martin.

The next Pre-Chorus starts with ‘While I won’t second guess, what you’re thinking of me.’ This, to me, is directly related to the line ‘I really loved you, you know.’ That Martin says to Jon in MAG 159. Jon does not care what Martin thinks of him, he is going to save him no matter what. ‘I will miss you the way, you miss the sea.’ The lack of any ‘ands’ or ‘buts’ speaks to the finality of this lyric, it feels like Jon is accepting of the fact that they have both changed and while he will miss what could have been, it feels the same as Martin missing how he felt in the Lonely, a slightly comforting ache that spreads throughout your entire body. Then the chorus plays for the last time and the song ends on an optimistic note that Jon has saved Martin and while it might not be okay it will be one day.

The entire song is the story of MAG 159 and I have not stopped thinking about it. I apologise for the bad grammar and the fact that this 1000 word essay is on a subject I only care about. I am once again asking you to listen to Elbow, you will not regret it.

TL;DR: The Stops by Elbow is a perfect song for S4 Jonmartin and I will not shut up about it.

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

Which Sweden wins were deserved and which ones weren’t, according to me:

1974 - Waterloo by ABBA. Deserved.

This is the reason ABBA’s career set off! And they’re amazing!

1984 - Diggiloo Diggiley by Herreys. Deserved.

I CAN’T TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE DIGGILOO DIGGILEY. I used to listen to this on a CD so much as a kid that the CD broke. It’s silly, it’s catchy, it’s cheesy, it’s amazing. To think, back in this day you could win by singing about something so simple as golden shoes.

1991 - Fångad av en stormvind by Carola. Deserved.

It is catchy asf and easy to dance to. I get it.

1999 - Tusen och en natt by Charlotte Nilsson (Perelli now, but Nilsson in 1999). Undeserved.

This is probably the most ”unknown” of the Sweden wins and sorry to all the Charlotte fans but i’m just not feeling it. Both my parents have said they were very surprised this even won because they weren’t that into it either. It’s not a bad song, but idk if I would call it a winning song either. But oh well, there were other tastes and standards in 1999…

But another reason is that Iceland came in second this year and if we hadn’t won, they would have gotten their first win.

2012 - Euphoria by Loreen. Deserved.

Euphoria was amazing. It’s still a song that plays and holds up.

2015 - Heroes by Måns Zelmerlöw. Both deserved and undeserved.

I was not expecting him to win in 2015 and when he did, I was very happy about it. His song was good and I think what really stood out was the effects with his little animated dude. The only problem is that his win lead us to

1. Have like 7 years of men representing us in esc, all with pretty similar songs and I can barely remember how half of them except for in the chorus. The only exception was 2020 with a trio of women, but then we didn’t have any competition. Finally in 2022 we had a woman compete again and it really felt like a bit of fresh air.

2. Insert Måns every year in esc somehow. Stop inserting him. Stop milking the man.

2023 - Tattoo by Loreen. Undeserved…?

The question mark because I don’t know how to feel. I should feel happy that we’ve won, but I did not at all feel that. Especially when it was so clear that the audience wanted someone else. It didn’t feel right, it didn’t feel fair. And I think swedish media definitely makes it worse when they openly mock the others, especially Finland, over this win. They’re making us look like prudes and kind of insensitive with the things they say. It’s like not even swedish media can celebrate this because they wanna focus on the negative backlash. Like with this behavior, I think we deserve as little points as possible for at least 5-10 years so we can fucking calm down, because I’ve noticed kind of already after Måns’ win we’ve developed this hubris, and I had hoped we’d start to calm down, but now with this win I am sad to say it’s probably not gonna disappear for a longer while.

But at the same time. The song isn’t bad… and Loreen is a queen. And I gotta say, I didn’t think she’d win. First of all, she competed in our national competition in 2017 and didn’t even get to the finale, so I was unsure at first what would even be different this time. Then she won, and I thought, well, people have sent precious esc winners before. It’s never gone that well except for one time in the 80s, but that is an exception. But I guess Loreen just has that po-po-po-pooooooweer /j So seeing her win actually was a bit of a surprise. I knew she’d be popular with juries, but I really thought ”oh but the televoters will probably only give her 100 points at max”. Haha…

It’s cool that she’s the first woman to have won twice, but tbh, eventually it’s just gonna be a textbook trivia. I mean, how relevant is Johnny Logan now? Now we need other records to beat - maybe first band to win twice (Måneskin, Lordi? Maybe?), maybe first country to win with only jury/televotes because the other gave them 0? This year was also a learning year how to do it next time, or possibly a protest to change the system. Honestly, the voting system has changed so much in years, and now we at least have the power in the semi’s. Maybe it will change, maybe it will not. We’ll see.

Also as a final note: There’s a lot of songs you barely remember who have won. From 2016-2019, the only song I remember is Toy by Netta. Also, there’s gonna be so much other underserved wins in the future. Both in our national competitions to choose a representant from our country, and in esc. What happened this year has def happened before.

I’m a bit curious what next year will bring. But I do think this win was more undeserved than deserved, even if I could see why it would win too.

[patrickztump]

i really hope it is okay for me to share your tags in a post, you put so much thought and emotion into this that i don't want to simply reply via prev. but you shared some personal notes, and if you want this taken down and left in the tags, please let me know!

i did place it all below the cut for the above reason, but also because it’s quite long 😅

#my favourite song is probably the phoenix #I’m not usually the type to say yeah the hits but like. I’ve heard it a million times and it still gets me so amped #it just goes so hard. every line. but I really love the bring home the boys verse #get hitched make a career outta robbing banks the world is just a teller and we are wearing black #trawled my fob tag from the start to see if I ever posted anything when I first got into them (I did not)

the crazy thing about this album is, i know there are multiple singles, "the phoenix" being one of them, but "light em up" was played relentlessly for years that i never heard another track off this record on the radio. as far as i was concerned for absolute years, the entire thing was essentially deep cuts with one single – which is an insane thought.

i also listened to the commentary on spotify again the other day, and for the band to say "light em up" sets the mood of the album and most of the songs can tie back to that one in some way makes sense. but i really think the song that sets the mood for it is "the phoenix," absolute solid choice for an opening track. very in your face and says, "hey! we're back, re-energized, and won't be stopped!"

#but apparently at some point alone together was my second fav for the got room for one more troubled soul line #idk if I connect so hard to it now #but it’s /always/ been you are what you love not who loves you that’s hit me hardest #I discovered fob about the time I was coming to terms w being ace and that was really so powerful to me at the time (and still is really) #that being different from everyone else in terms of love/relationships wasn’t going to be the end of the world and I could be dfined by more #than just the relationship I had with someone else or whether I had one at all.

both of those lines are disguised as throw away lyrics in a way; in the sense that maybe it takes a few listens to notice and appreciate them, or if you're in just the right headspace and you hear them, it's like a being hit by a train. and they are so relatable on so many different levels for so many different people, because we're all troubled in some way, right? and we all need to be reminded that others do not make us who we are.

#miss missing you is a classic obviously. hot whiskey eyes bend the flame. met a guy with actual hot whiskey eyes in the right light last yea #and was like /damn/ Pete /didnt/ just make that up that is actually a thing and oh my god. #the rest of the song isn’t relevant to the situation but yes I spent much time thinking about that one line. shant say any more on that.

i have yet to see anyone who has eyes that fit that description, but if it's anything remotely close to what my mind envisions i know it must be breathtaking. (closest i have come, however, is a photo i took of canon i believe where the sun was hitting his eye Just Right lol)

#rat a tat is a fun song at the right time.

it took me a little bit of time to truly appreciate "rat a tat" mainly because i wasn't overly fond of courtney love's part. and there's nothing wrong with it or her, i just didn't vibe with it for a long time. but "we're all fighting growing old in the hopes of a few minutes more" is so powerful to me and makes up for her parts. honestly the entire chorus when thinking about it out of context from the song can sometimes tear me up, because we as humans want more time and never notice when we are in moments that become fond memories, so it's a reminder to step back and appreciate what we have right now.

#it is for sure in every way a red album. it’s too upbeat adrenaline goingandgoingandgoing (and blood) for anything else. #(I made the terrible mistake of choosing it as a running album years ago. I fucking hate running and I regret that so much bc hating running #is too tied to the album now that I don’t listen to it much despite how good it is)

okay, side note, have you seen that person on instagram (and i presume tiktok) that makes the treadmill videos with albums, artists, genres, etc? she takes for example taylor swift, makes a playlist of x number of songs (usually around an hour i believe) and you start at a comfortable walk and with each song change you up it .1 mph, .2 mph, whatever you're comfortable with until reaching the middle where you run, jog, brisk walk (again, your comfort) for a song or two, then start dropping the way you went up with song change?

yeah, i need to get back into exercising and was thinking save rock and roll and soul punk would be excellent albums to use for that, but lol i Do Not want to do to them what you just described.

#it’s got some amazing lines in it and is a massive step in every way from Folie. beloved Folie starts sounding the same if you listen to it #for too long. you start hearing why it’s the last gasp of a band breaking down. srar comes out of the gates galloping and beats and beats #and beats the whole time. and then slows down into the title track in a way that feels both like aftercare and a promise of beginnings in a #way that’s so fitting and so good.

i absolutely love and adore folie but you are so right about that. it's my go-to for if i want to suggest a fall out boy album to someone, because it has variety and i think paints a good picture for what the band can do, but it can be worn out over time.

and i couldn't agree more about the closing track. i've said it before and i'll say it again, "the phoenix" is the little brother to "save rock and roll." both are full of determination but "the phoenix" comes out as rage, whereas "save rock and roll" is more settled and wiser.

#so. she’s not my pick (abap was /my/ first fob album) but she is phenomenal and I’m happy to listen to her #herbcitty meows #fob #(had this languishing in my likes for days and days while I listened to srar a hundred more times to formulate a response lol)

and i thank you so much!! i love hearing people's connection with music, because it can be so different but we all share a common thread with it in that it makes us feel something.

“diamonds are a girl’s best friend” wrong. save rock and roll by fall out boy is a girl’s best friend

[emiliagalotti]

I was cooking up fanfic on the bus to work, as one does, and got to thinking about why so many people have reacted so emotionally negative to sentiadrien - and conversely, why the chorus of��“he’s just like any other human being, Thomas said so on twitter” is so frequently sung by those who like the concept. 

The obvious problem is, of course, that the show hasn’t made any statements about the physical makeup of magically created beings, and for all we know, it never will. You don’t really need to think too hard about this to realise that no-one in charge ever wanted you to; Adrien eats, so his toilet probably stinks just like anyone else’s. The issue isn’t the logic, but the fact that after some three seasons of them, we’ve seen the insides of a number of sentimonsters and they sure don’t bleed; they dissolve in black plasma at the end of the battle. People were asking of sentibug could’ve had children and whatnot, and that says all that needs saying about how unclear this topic has been present on the show. 

I’m not among the crowd going “the author is dead la la la I can’t hear you”, but it’s relevant context the vast majority of the ML audience don’t follow Astruc on twitter. Most readings of his story won’t be done in the light of extratextual information provided on social media, and writers can’t rely on people knowing that you compared it to IVF when someone tweeted you about it. 

(the third problem, of course, is that test tube babies aren’t genetically engineered to absolute obedience to any person holding a random object, but that is a tale for a different day of “this is a show for kids, you’re not supposed to take it seriously”)

The not-so-instantly-obvious problem is the showing and the telling, which this show has a hit and miss relationship to already. There is definitely a tendency to put words into characters mouths that are supposed to explain something on-screen but just don’t convince because we never saw these things happen. Marinette supposedly being in love with Luka while both the relevant episodes show her being far further gone over Adrien; Ladybug sweet-talking Lady Wifi about how they’re BFFs when we’ve never seen them interact outside of battle and a couple of interviews; Chloé simply being selfish and evil to the bones despite being repeatedly shown to deeply care for Adrien and her father and even Miss Bustier. (Someone on youtube really hit the nail with how this is why “Kuro Neko” falls apart, but watching that one vid sent the algorithms straight into “maybe you’ll like these fifty thousand channels devoted to telling people why Miraculous Ladybug is terrible”, so approach with care)

In the end, the show hasn’t been telling much about sentimonsters at all, and what it has repeatedly shown is that they are doomed: not a single one of them has survived the episode in which they were introduced. The human sentimonsters are uniformly depicted as living dolls -  we only hear them speak a handful of lines suggesting that they have some conscious mind of their own, and only ever in dialogue with whoever has the Peacock. Nothing has been stated on-screen to lend nuance to this, barring our heroes being horrified to watch a copycat Ladybug be snapped out of existence and this was allegedly Very Sad (but not sad enough for anyone to remember it two minutes later, and so clearly not important to the story as a whole).

If Adrien is one of them - well, of course there’s going to be a solution of some sort, be that by somehow magically turning him into a Real Boy, giving him somehow secure posession of both Duusu’s miraculous and the amok, or somehow cataclysming himself and breaking the bondage. 

But those all rely on speculation and lore yet unknown (or known only on twitter, as the case might be), and not a single one of them seem obvious from the current standpoint. The show has consistently been depicting human sentimonsters as clearly not human through how instantly they are controlled and who easily they are destroyed, and the only contrary evidence are statements scattered on Thomas Astruc’s twitter history. 

Yeah, I get why the people are crying. 

[reecehaswritten]

How “the moon will sing” by the crane wives fits desert duo - posted on tumblr cause I have no where else for it

The moon will sing. The original meaning is an abusive relationship, but I think desert duo have some of these traits especially in the lyrics. One longs for the other despite knowing they were hurt(scar), one desperately wants to leave the other behind out of fear(Grian). 

“Tell me once again, I could have been anyone, anyone else, before you made the choice for me.” is meant to be the victim talking about their abuser I think, but in this case I see it as Grian accepting Scar under his wing in double life despite being hurt by the fact that they’re soulmates, and I mostly see this in Scars PoV. Scar was fully willing to just not have a soulmate and stay with the Jellies, rejecting it all together, yet still went away with Grian.

“My feet knew the path, we walked in the dark, in the dark

I never gave a single thought to where it might lead.” Is Scar going off blindly with Grian, forgetting all about how them being together always ended up with him being hurt/dying. He went off with him not expecting anything but chaos, and didn’t take account to what usually becomes of that. 

“All those empty rooms, we could have been anywhere, anywhere else. Instead I made a bed with apathy. My heart knew the weight, ten years worth of dust and neglect, we made our peace with weariness and let it be” is Grian’s point of view on all of it. He still remembers everything that’s happened. He could of had anyone for a soulmate, yet fate picked Scar, the one man he always ends up killing. He’s doesn’t want it in the slightest, hence the apathy and feelings portrayed in the verse. He also seeked escapism, which is why he made secret-soulmates with BigB. “My heart knew the weight” especially settles in as since he’s been the one with blood on his hands, not Scar. 

Then there’s the chorus “The moon will sing a song for me I loved you like the sun.” Is Scar again, he’s still longing and looking back on their relationship. (/p or /r, whatever your preference) Scar isn’t up for the ‘secret soulmate’ thing, which is why it also ties into the song as the singer screams it. Scar still loves Grian, no matter what. But they can’t be together, since it always ends the same.

“Bore the shadows that you made with no light of my own” is also relevant as Scar is always looked over, seen as the one with stupid ideas and crazy things to say and a million ways to die. Grian was always the one with the traps, Grian was always the one with the know-how and blood-thirst. There was a bit of ‘Scar was scary’ during third life, but that was because he was the only red life at that point, and he soon proved the rumours false. 

“I shine only with the light you gave me, I shine only with the light you gave me.” Also plays into this. Scar was always seen as the slightly less threatening side to Grian, but Scar loved having Grian around and vice versa. Without him he’s nothing as some suggest. (I personally don’t, but in c! Standards maybe)

“Name your courage now. We could have had anything, anything else. Instead you hoarded all that's left of me” Is even more. Grian cheated on him, and that left him upset. Scar doesn’t like being alone, and Grian never said anything about it either. Scar pretty much had nothing else aside Jellie and a few pranks, and that doesn’t get you far on the server.

“Swallowing your doubt. Like swords to the pit of my belly. I want to feel the fire that you kept from me.” Thats more of the cheating. Scar had every right to be upset, yet chose to never be outright with it. However he took it out on what’s basically sh, with the cactus and harming himself to harm Grian. It’s slightly toxic in that way. And Grian never gave him anything for when he died twice bringing them to red. He never got much aside from slightly annoyed tones and ‘I should of done this’. 

The song repeats the chorus then, and I feel as it ramps up it gives me the feels of their final life being taken away. Scar died trying to find a soulmate who didn’t love him, and was actively trying to take one final stand just so he could mean something, but then Grian died and he was gone, just like that. No revenge for the Jellie-Pandas and their reserve, no closure, and no apology from Grian over the cheating. 

[rotzaprachim]

the thing is too is like. i’m not asking for some kind of obscure literary reference or one line reference here. all three of those songs are purposefully chopped down and altered to make their content more Palatable for certain situations, denatured of the points that make up the bulk of body lyrics. very frequently only the “born in the usa” chorus is played, chopping out the body stanzas that make up the bulk of critical arguement and make the chorus relevant. as much discussed, several key and very jewish stanzas of halleujah are often chopped for the radio version - remember when i moved in you, the holy dark was moving too, and every breath we drew was hallelujah? (just one version among the MANY cohen did write and perform over his lifetime), or else “maybe there’s a god above” being replaced with “i know that there’s a god above.” worth mentioning that whilst the axed down original is an xmas chart topper, there are specifically rewritten theologically xtian christmas and easter versions that explicitly repaper cohen’s tune with the theology of original sin and resurrection, which is stomache churningly appropriative in many ways. bad wolf made a version of zombie that explicitly chopped out the date 1916 and replaced it with 2018. many times when zombie is played, only the main chorus gets used- zombie zombie zombie!- and the stanzas that deal explicitly with the Troubles and the psychological continuations of violence are also axed. my point with all these songs is that it isn’t one obscure line, or even a flat misinterpretation. it’s that to get to the uses as Holiday Music that they often are played as, the actual TEXT OF THE SONG has to be chopped, altered, edited, and denatured beyond the original version. 

[in-tua-deep]

idk if you still do au ideas but what if delores was a real person in the apocalypse? how it woul dbe done i have no idea but i love all your aus and thought it would be cool

okay okay I don't tend to go for real!Dolores aus admittedly because I find her much more compelling as what she is: a reflection of five himself and a symptom of his crushing loneliness

but i started thinking about it and you know what?? i think five deserves a little socialization, as a treat

so say like, 0.5% of the population is resistant to abilities. Allison would really struggle to rumor them, Five wouldn't be able to jump with them, and, most importantly, whatever the fuck Vanya's ability does has like, reduced damage or something

and the og apocalypse isn't the moon apocalypse, so let's say that it was pure waves of Vanya's powers that fucked over the earth

so 0.5% of the population survives the apocalypse. though, let's be honestly, the real number is a lot smaller than that. People who might have survived Vanya's initial power wave (miraculously) did not survive buildings crushing them or survive the car/plane/bus/train/other transportation crashes or survive being left alone when they are too young to reliably look after themselves, or the variety of other problems that come with 99.5% of the population dying at once

So, Five arrives in the apocalypse and is met with ruin and fire and a whole lot of dead people. He finds his siblings, but it doesn't matter. They're dead. He doesn't even recognize them at first, these strange grown-ups who he identifies not by their faces but by the umbrellas on their wrists that match his own

As he realizes the full impact of his situation, he hears a voice that says, very succinctly, "holy shit!"

It's a girl a few years older than Five himself, maybe 15 or 16, and she is very excited to see another survivor.

And here's where I u-turn this au around bc i'm not all that interested in real!Dolores, but I would be down to talk about Five meeting survivors in the apocalypse, because if Dolores is real I don't buy no one else survived.

So Dolores shows up and see a Literal Child crying over the corpses of his family and assumes that Five is a fellow survivor, and she immediately grabs him up. Five is incoherent with grief at this point anyway, so he doesn't even protest when she basically hauls him away from the bodies. She's babbling at him, but he doesn't really hear anything she's saying

And then she takes him to her dad

(Why not, let's have the 1% potentially be a heritable thing)

and her dad, let's call him just some dad name. like Rick. it has been a fucking WEEK for him, okay. he had his daughter with him, his ex-wife is on the other coast for her work, and by some miracle he survived the apocalypse and so did his child, and he's been wracking his brains trying to figure out what the fuck to do next

and then his daughter shows up with a traumatized thirteen-year-old in tow

now rick is a good dude. he's a dad. they get out of five that his name is five ("what the fuck" dolores mouths to him over five's shoulder and rick can't help but agree) and the bodies he found were his siblings ("Dad and Ben and Vanya weren't there though," this child cries desperately and rick feels his own heart clench in response, "They might still be alive!")

"We can look for them." Rick assures his new adopted child, because he is an adult in a fresh apocalypse and this kid has presumably lost everything he's ever known (more than rick even knows at the time)

and they do. They each get wagons and they go out and find supplies and look for other survivors. Five is... surprisingly helpful and also surprisingly docile as he is able to rely on Someone Else to give orders while he attempts to (dissociate) process what the fuck has happened

and here's the thing: Five prides himself on being independent, sort of. He's independent for a child soldier, but he's used to taking orders from a male authority figure and Rick happens to be just that

The first time that Five does something dangerous and Rick yells is a revelation

(Rick isn't sure if he hopes that Five's dad is alive or not, because if they find that man alive then Rick might just kill the jackass himself. Also like, Five is bizarrely knowledgeable out survival skills, like way too knowledgeable about it, which is helpful for them but also very concerning)

they find a newspaper and Five finds the article that mentions his father's recent death ("Huh. Heart attack." Five says, and there is no emotion in his voice)

(Years later, years later, Five and Rick talk. "I don't think I wanted to find him, either." Five admits, softly because Dolores is asleep, "I think I was more scared of finding him alive than I was of finding his body. He would've been so mad at me, I think.")

this newspaper is how Rick and Dolores find out about Five being Number Five, Umbrella Academy Missing Person

"Dude, what the fuck." Dolores says, wide eyes, "You're like, thirty?"

"I'm thirteen." Five says, and then checks the date on the newspaper again, "Also I think I would technically be 29 if I lived through all of it, 'cause it's April and my birthday is in October."

"You... time travelled?" Rick asks, which is honestly the more relevant question, "Can you go back?"

And Five just,,, crumples on himself. Because he tried, he tried really hard. It didn't work. "I'm gonna figure it out. I'm gonna go back, I'm going to save them."

That, Rick thinks, is a lot of weight to put on one person's shoulders, but especially the shoulders of a child.

"Alright." Rick says, because what else can he say after finding out his new child has superpowers and is from like, 2004? "What do you need?"

("Oh my god I have so many memes to teach you." Dolores says later, reverently. Five blinks in confusion and Rick mentally prepares himself for the recitation of so many vines)

And it's easier, somehow. Five sometimes feels like it's a betrayal, but he settles into apocalypse life with an ease that surprises him.

He lets Rick fuss over him and help tie his scarf securely around his head every morning before he sets off on supply runs with Dolores. And they're kids! Five has never had a friend before, and Dolores is funny and smart and she's struggling just as much as he is.

"I don't know if my mom's alive." She says to him, in solidarity when he checks the face of every corpse to see if they're Vanya.

Five is practical in the way only a child soldier can be. He's economical with the room in their wagons, carefully examining what might and what might not be useful.

Dolores, on the other hand, constantly takes up space with what Five sees as useless shit.

"Excuse you," Dolores says, shoving a game of monopoly, the entire discworld series, and a pack of glitter gel pens into her wagon, "These are absolutely vital apocalypse supplies."

She challenges him, plays with him in a way no one ever has. "I bet you I can find more batteries today than you can," She grins at him, "Winner gets to pick dinner first?"

"You're on." Five says, directly before Dolores pulls two packs of 24 AA batteries from behind her back, like a cheat.

Dolores makes him take a ten minute break when they find a playground that has been mostly not-destroyed. They rummage around kids backpacks and mother's handbags for some good loot, too numb to corpses to even be bothered all that badly about the corpses they belong to.

"I'm getting on the swings." Dolores says when Five starts making noises about moving on, "I haven't been on a swingset in ages."

"What's the point?" Five grumps.

"Don't be sour because you can't swing as high as I can!" Dolores laughs, getting higher and higher as the swings creak ominously.

Five grumpily gets into the other swing and grudgingly kicks himself back and forth until Dolores takes pity on him and teaches him how to properly move his legs and body to get higher and higher.

Dolores jumps from the swing seat and lands with a flourish and smile. Five jumps out of his seat and then jumps, warping right in front of Dolores and making her yell and hit at him in outrage. Five smiles the widest he has all week.

This is how Five grows up in the apocalypse, with Dolores teasing him into taking breaks and leaning over his shoulder to look at his math and scandalizing him by stating that she'd only just started on matrices in her own high school math class.

Every night they huddle around Rick while he picks up whatever book Dolores picked out that day because it is a travesty that Five has never read hunger games or whatever, and then they read together because it would be a genuine blood bath if they all took turns. The first time Five accidentally mentioned a spoiler and Dolores genuinely considered murder was the birthday of this tradition

Some days the air is too smoky or there are dust storms or it's just plain too dangerous to go out, and they all stay in. Dolores regales Five with stories about public school, and Five tells them about his siblings.

Then they all cry

"I shouldn't be crying." Five sobs.

"Shut the fuck up," Dolores sobs back, "You literally watched me lose my shit over remembering my shitty eighth grade dance and listened to me sob-sing toxic for like four hours."

"In fairness I also wished you would shut up then."

"Let me hug you or I will start singing songs that I only remember the chorus for again you absolute fucker."

"I could always sing some -"

"No, Rick/Dad."

And Five grows up. Rick shows him how to shave very carefully in front of cracked mirrors. Dolores teases him every time his voice cracks. Rick tells Five in no uncertain terms that he loves and cares for him, and that Reginald was a little bitch. There are a lot of heartfelt conversations around that, honestly. Rick telling Five that he and the siblings deserved better, that they were children and deserved to have a childhood.

And that he has faith in Five. Rick and Dolores both do, they bring him back paper and pens and pencils and chalk and anything Five can use to write equations. They poke around any libraries for books on theoretical mathematics and quantum physics. Rick and Dolores go out scouting for food while Five stays home and can work longer.

They also make him take breaks, make sure that he's looking after himself.

They're a little better off than OG!Five when it comes to food, because some animals survive. Enough that Rick figures out how to hunt. Five is the first one to each bugs, and even though Dolores makes faces they all start eating bugs as well.

"Pretty sure there's loads of cultures that eat bugs." Rick says grudgingly, wondering if he should try stirfry the cockroaches and if that would improve the taste. "There's even, uh, cricket flour or whatever, right?"

"Plus you eat like, five spiders a year when you're asleep." Dolores says cheerfully, just to watch her dad's face scrunch up in displeasure.

"That doesn't sound true, but I don't know enough about spiders to dispute it." Five mutters, and Dolores gives him such a proud look that it makes him roll his eyes.

They're in their thirties when Rick dies. He's out foraging and hunting, and the rubble he's standing on gives way and he ends up with a gash in his leg. He manages to stop the bleeding, but the world is filthy and they don't have any antibiotics.

He gets an infection.

"It's okay." He tells both of his kids, "It's okay. I'm just so glad that you guys have each other, y'hear? I'm so glad."

"It's not okay." Five says, voice thick and choked, "It's not."

"Yeah, well, you're going to figure out how to go back, right? Go back in time and save everyone. Then I'll have never died, right?" Rick smiles, "And even if you don't, I'll be waiting for you on the other side and we'll see each other again anyway."

"I'm going to fix it."

"I know. I have faith in you, Five." Ricks says honestly, and that's more than Reginald ever said.

They sit quietly together while Dolores is out scavenging. They've been taking turns sitting with Rick.

"I won't remember you, in the past, will I?" Rick says rhetorically, but Five answers anyway.

"I don't think so."

Rick hums, "Well, doesn't matter. If you need help in the past, you come to me, y'hear?"

"You won't remember me."

"Doesn't matter. You come find me, and you tell me your crazy story until I believe you, and then I'll help you." Rick says firmly, "You're family. You're my son. Timelines? Don't matter. If you need help, with anything, even if it's just with - with filling out a bowling team or something -"

"I have never been bowling in my life and you know it." Five interrupts, but it makes him laugh just a little bit which was clearly Rick's intention.

"Well who knows what you'll get up to in the past! You'll be able to go bowling, you know. Get to wear those uncomfortable shoes. Hey, you go far enough back maybe you can go to Dolores's tenth birthday party and put me out of my misery."

"Was she bad at bowling?"

"Oh, she was wiping the floor with me. No contest."

"Honestly, that sounds absolutely accurate."

"Shut up, bowling just wasn't my sport. Regardless, the point was that I'm giving you a free pass to come and get me. Because I know you, I know how you think." Rick brings up his hand to tap his finger against Five's forehead, "You get it into your head that you need to go it alone, take it all on your shoulders. I'm telling you that if you do that I'll somehow manifest my memories and come smack you over the head for being stupid, you hear?"

"I'm not dragging you into anything." Five says firmly, "I'll have my siblings."

"Who were also children." Rick points out. "And dragging? Dragging is such a strong word for a volunteer."

"A volunteer who won't remember volunteering." Five shoots back.

Rick just shrugs, and then winces when the movement jolts his bad leg. "Five, I'm going to be honest with you here. And sappy. Can you handle a bit of sappiness for a minute?"

"No."

"Well too bad. Can't leave a dying man, you'd feel too bad. So you're stuck with me. But you listen good, okay? Because you aren't dragging me into anything. Whatever life you have, I want to have a part of that. Because you're my son. Wherever you are, whatever you do, I want to help because you're family. What you'd be doing by leaving me out of it is depriving me of someone I love, depriving me of knowing one of the best kids I've ever known."

"Shut up." Five says, choked.

"Nope, it's sappy time." Rick states, "Maybe asking you to come find me is selfish, but I don't care. No matter what version of me exists, I want to be in your life."

"My life is a walking joke, why would you want any part of that?"

"It has been my privilege to watch you grow up. To help you. To be here for you. Of course I'd want to be there to watch you grow up the rest of the way."

"But -"

"Shut up, just let me tell you that I am so proud of you. You never give up, and your heart is so big. You love so much and so loudly, and it's been the highest honor of my life to be included in your family."

Five pauses for a moment to collect himself before simply saying - "You're the best dad I've ever had."

Rick snorts, "Considering my competition, I'd sure hope so. That bar was so low old Reggie was practically limbo dancing with the devil. Now get over here and give an old man a hug."

They don't bury Rick, when he dies. They don't have time and the ground is too hard and they don't have the heart to move him. Instead the pack everything up and seal him in the shelter they'd lived in.

Dolores pulls out a bottle of ancient nail polish and painstakingly writes Rick's name on the wall with his birth year and an approximate current year. They aren't 100% sure though, since time blends together out in the apocalypse, but it's something.

They continue by themselves. They get older.

Dolores jokingly calls him her husband because the way his face scrunches up makes her cackle. They see other people very occasionally, usually passing through. Usually groups. Dolores and Five get to flex their hosting skills, though more than one group declines their cockroach stirfry.

("It's a family recipe." Five says with amusement in his eyes that usually manages to drown out old grief.)

"Jeeze, that kid couldn't have been older'n twenty-three." Dolores complains, "Makes me feels positively ancient."

"They wouldn't have known any world 'cept for the apocalypse." Five muses, pouring some boiled water into wine glasses because they might be living in the apocalypse but they can be fancy.

"Do you ever think about that?" Dolores asks, turning to him with no judgement, just curiosity. "When you go back, you'll be like, erasing them from existence."

Five shrugs, "Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe this place will just split off into an alternate timeline."

"Maybe none of this is real." Dolores says, amusement coloring her voice. "Maybe you aren't talking to a real person at all. Maybe this is just a symbol of your insanity and cracked mind."

"Dolores, I literally have a scar where you stabbed me. Did I somehow manage to stab myself in the back?"

"Scraped you, I scraped you. By accident."

"So you maintain." Five says haughtily, swirling his water in his wine glass like a pretentious prick.

"I could totally be fake. You don't know my life."

"I know way too much about you, Dolores. Like, way way too much." Five scoffs, because Dolores and him have literally no secrets from one another at this point. Five even knows the truth behind what happened at Janet Scranton's thirteenth birthday party. Like, he said, way too much.

"Maybe you made it up. Maybe that's why you know so much."

"Dolores, I'm going to be honest with you right now." Five presses the tips of his fingers to his chin, "If you were a figment of my imagination, you would be so much better at math."

"Hey!" Dolores squawks indignantly, "I didn't even get to finish high school you pretentious prick!"

"Neither did I!"

"You didn't even go to high school, you brat."

"I'm fifty-two I think I've outgrown 'brat.'"

"Tell that to your attitude." Dolores says haughtily, "You're still younger than me."

"Won't be when I go back in time." Five says cheerfully, completely ignoring Dolores's venomous look.

"That's cheating."

"Sucks to suck." Five says loftily, taking another sip of his water.

Sometimes they talk about The Plan, with capital letters. What Five is going to do when he goes back in time, depending on when he pops out. Is he going to adopt his siblings? What about Reginald?

"You don't think I could kill Reginald?" Five says, holding a hand to his chest in mock offense.

"I think you should let me do it. I'll even give you control of tonight's music if you do."

"What are you doing to do? Bite his ankles? What if you're like, seven or something?"

"All the better to get away with it since I'll be too young to convict or whatever."

"Pretty sure that's not how the law works."

"How would you know? Just for that I'm playing Istanbul on repeat again."

"I don't know why you think that's a threat. That song slaps."

It takes a few more years before Five is close enough that the Commission comes to interfere. Because that's what I think happened - Five was getting too close and they stepped in because they might as well distract the man as much as they can with missions, right?

So the Handler shows up. And she offers Five a job, telling him that they have the ability to travel through time. And Five - hesitates.

"Give me some time?" Five asks, and the Handler graciously gives him 24 hours.

And he and Dolores talk it over, because now that his goal is more in sight than it has ever been and Five is scared.

"What are you waiting for? You have the chance to see your siblings again." Dolores says patiently.

"Yeah," Five says, and what he doesn't say is clear. But I won't see you.

"Five." Dolores says, and she cradles his face between her palms like he is something precious, "I have had so much time with you already. More than I would have ever. We have been so lucky, to have this time. How can I demand more than what we have already been given?"

"When have you ever not demanded the world, Dolores?" Five asks, his own hand coming up to cover Dolores's own.

"We've had decades together, Five. We're getting old. I was always going to lose you, one way or another. Nothing lasts forever."

"I don't want to lose you."

"I know. But if I had to choose a way, if I could decide where our story ends, this would be it. Letting you go, because this way you get to live. You get to see your family again. You get to save the world. I could ask for nothing more than for you to get your happy ending."

Five removes Dolores's hand from his cheek so that he can cradle it between them, "I'm happy here with you. I've never been happier. Isn't that silly? That I was happier in the apocalypse?"

"I bet killing Reggie would make you happy." Dolores laughs rustily.

"One day you're going to see the mysterious disappearance of a famous billionaire in the paper and feel a twinge of satisfaction and now have a clue why." Five laughs as well, shaking his head.

Dolores pats Five's hands, "Five, look at me. We've had our time. And you're going to give me even more of it. More time with my father. More time with my mother. I'll never know it, but you'll have saved me."

"What if this is - what if this is an alternate reality? What if I leave you here alone?"

"Then you'll be saving a 15-year-old girl from the same fate as me. Because as much as I love you, as much as I have loved this time we have had together, this is still an apocalypse. This should never have happened, and if you have a chance to go back and prevent it, then I want you to take that chance with both hands."

"Even if it means leaving you alone?"

Dolores smiles at him, "I'm not going to be alone. Far too many creepy crawlies in the apocalypse for that."

"Shut up, I'm being serious."

"Hmm." Dolores hums consideringly, "Maybe I'll head North, to that new settlement that last group said they'd heard word of. Sure they'd find some use for an old woman who's survived this long in the wilderness."

"You can have my half of the record collection." Five says, pulling her against him into a hug that she easily returns.

"As if I wouldn't have stolen them as soon as you left." She scoffs, but it's a little wet, and Five pretends his own eyes aren't leaking tears.

When The Handler comes back, Dolores gives him another hug. She also slips something into his pocket - some photos. They'd taken it a year into the apocalypse, when Dolores had found an ancient looking polaroid camera and towed it home despite Five's protests about practicality. The photos are worn and faded at the edges, but the smiles on Five's little apocalypse family's faces are undeniable.

"You'll have to see if they magically fade when you change the timeline." Dolores whispers to him with a grin, "Like in the movies."

"Okay." Five whispers back.

"You have the list of movies to watch, right?" Dolores says. Five rolls his eyes and nods because he wrote the list last night into his Vanya-book while Dolores hovered over his shoulder and critiqued his handwriting.

"And you promise to try a proper non-expired twinkie at some point?"

"That I do not promise. I think even looking at one would make me lose my lunch. I have twinkie-trauma."

"Shut up and get going." Dolores says, because the Handler is starting to tap her foot impatiently.

And off Five goes to become an assassin. Though - he's much more gentle this time. He's careful, he doesn't kill children and he usually takes jobs that don't require killing at all. He distracts and manipulates events as much as he can without killing.

He's actually much more well socialized, thanks to Rick and Dolores. Less feral child and more determined man on a mission.

Which is why he's so frustrated when he finally, finally manages to get the equations to work and falls through and falls - directly back into his stupid thirteen-year-old body.

"Shit." Five says, loudly, and revels in the surprised look on his siblings faces.

He strides into the kitchen, and they all follow him like ducklings. They look exactly the way they did when they died.

"Wow this is actually way harder than I thought it would be." Five muses, looking at their dead faces. But as Dolores would say, life is hard but you have to keep on trucking sometimes. "Whatever, what's the date?"

"Five, where have you been?" Diego demands, looking irritated. It makes Five snort in amusement.

"The future. The past. If you want like, an exact list of dates you'll have to hold your horses. I spent like, two weeks in Peru once. No souvenirs though, unfortunately."

They look taken aback, like they didn't expect Five to have quite this much sass. Oops. That is definitely Dolores's influence. Or maybe he was always a little asshole. In fairness, what teenagers aren't tiny assholes? He has an excuse.

"What the fuck does that mean?" Diego's eyebrows are furrowed in anger. It kind of takes Five aback for a second, because he remembers a Diego who stutters when he argued.

"When did you learn the fuck-word?" Five asks, raising an eyebrow before her can help it, "Grace ought to wash your mouth out with soap."

Diego immediately goes red, "Shut up!"

"Wow you're so easy to rile up. Aren't you like, twenty-something? Actually, I could figure out for myself how old you are if you gave me the date."

"I'm twenty-nine." Diego growls, like that was the point.

"Haunting!" Five says cheerfully, because that means there is way less time than he would like, narrowing his time down to a six month window.

It's extremely funny how his cheer makes all of them make faces.

It's Klaus who leans forward, "Why do you need to know?"

Klaus's face is open and curious and - (looks exactly like he did when Five found him all those years ago) - and Five can't help but answer him. "The world end on April 1st, 2019. No it isn't an April Fools joke, yes I have heard that joke like a million different times. I just want to know how close I landed so I can, you know, start working on how to fix that."

"Woah woah woah, roll it back." Allison says, holding a hand up, "What?"

"The apocalypse occurs on April 1st, 2019." Five says, slowly. "I have traveled from afar to prevent this from happening, because like, everyone dies."

"Everyone?" Vanya says weakly from the side.

She's clearly expecting to be ignored, so Five turns his head to address her directly by wiggling his hand back and forth a little. "Sort of. Like, not too many people survive at all. A handful of the human population, you know."

"But you survived?" Diego recovers admirably, if bitingly.

"Well, no." Five says rolling his eyes, "Wouldn't you just know it, Klaus here has managed to figure out a new ability!"

Everyone turns to look at Klaus, who immediately holds up his hands like he's being arrested or something, "I did not!"

"Wonderful! Now that we've established that I'm alive -"

"Why should we trust a word you say?" Luther says for the first time, looking pensive.

Five blinks, genuinely taken aback. "Because... I'm your brother? Because I can clearly and obviously time travel? Like, yeah, it would have been more convenient if I'd arrived in like, my old-body for proof-purposes, but like. I mean. Thirteen is still a pretty convincing age to be to prove time travel considering if I hadn't, I would be like, almost thirty."

"Roll it back again." Allison says firmly, "What do you mean by 'old body'?"

"Great question!" Five says pointing at Allison and smiling. Everyone looks at him weird again, and Five takes a moment to wonder if they've ever experienced positive reinforcement. Knowing Reginald, probably not. "Wait! Is Reggie alive? Wait, no, answer that in a second. Uh. When I time traveled I fucked up my body I guess, I was like, old. White hair and wrinkles-type old from spending decades in the apocalypse. But I fucked up the calculations and got booted back to my thirteen-year-old body, I guess. How, I have no idea."

"What?" Vanya says, still equally weakly.

"You have no idea how fucked up time travel is." Five whispers conspiratorially to Vanya, loud enough for the whole table to hear, "There are so many ways to die. Or permanently tear a hold in space time. But like, with life as we know if ending soon-ish, I figured I couldn't possibly fuck it up worse than it already was, y'know? Speaking of, anyone have the date again?"

"Wait, what was that about dad?" Luther asks, very focused.

"Oh, you still call him dad? Big oof." Five says automatically, because apparently his verbal filter is shot to hell after living with Dolores. It does make Klaus bark out a too-loud laugh.

"What does that mean?" Luther asks aggressively.

"It means Reginald sucks and doesn't deserve the title of 'dad,' what did you think I meant?" Five asks, and now both Diego and Vanya and both cracking smiles, though Vanya is covering hers with a hand.

"Have some respect for the dead." Luther growls, standing up and looking very large and threatening.

Five sways back, craning his head up, "Woah there big buy, sit down before I injure my poor growing spine looking up at you. Jeeze, did Reggie force feed you steroids or something? I wouldn't put it past him but like, I just want to know he at least went over the side effects of the drug with you. Also like, thanks for narrowing it down. Also terrifying! Seriously though, exact date please because if I have less than 24 hours I am going to break down crying and that is a threat."

"I love this Five." Klaus says reverently.

"March 21st." Vanya offers, finally.

"Wow! Terrifying!" Five says, clapping his hands together, "Hate that. Ten days, huh? Well, who wants to get on board the save-the-world express?"

Klaus immediately flings his hand in the air, Five points at his brother appreciatively. "Yes, excellent! I'll take the volunteer in the lovely skirt as my first team member. Any other volunteers?"

"Danke!" Klaus simpers, grinning widely like this is the vest entertainment he's had in weeks.

"I'm not just going to stand here and listen to you badmouth dad and boss us around." Luther slams his hands on the table.

"Well not with that attitude." Five snarks.

Diego raises his hand, "I would like to join team fuck dad as well."

"We can certainly debate team names later." Five says, nodding wisely as Luther gives some sort of scandalized gasp.

"Honestly, I just want to see where this is going." Klaus confesses.

Five shrugs, because he doesn't really care about the reason. "Don't you want to prove me wrong them? Prove what a well-adjusted young man Reginald Hargreeves raised?"

"Shut up." Luther grinds out, looking a moment away from throwing a punch.

"If this is all true, I have to get home." Allison cuts in, looking concerned, "I have - I have a daughter."

"I mean, if you want to give Claire a world to live in then I'd stick around, but that's just me." Five shrugs.

"You know her name?" Allison asks, obviously taken aback.

Five is almost offended, "Uh, yeah. I have her photo as well. Y'all get on like, a bizarre number of gossip magazine covers did you know that?"

Allison manages to outdo herself in terms of being taken aback once more.

There's a beat of silence, and then Five turns, "Vanya? You in?"

"Me?" Vanya blinks, looking shocked. "What can I do?"

"Yeah, what can she do?" Diego asks, crossing his arms and suddenly looking grumpy.

It baffles Five, who scrunches his nose, "Uh, like, a lot? I assume? I mean. I'm going to be honest here, just looking at y'all right now is a lot. In more ways than one! Hashtag trauma and all that, but like, name a single one of you that wouldn't be the most obvious person in the room as soon as you walked into it. Except Vanya, who somehow manages to look like a well adjusted adult, by some miracle."

"Did you just verbally say the word hashtag?" Allison asks, looking so deeply confused.

"More concerned about the trauma he tacked onto there, but y'know, to each their own." Klaus immediately cuts in.

"You think I'm well-adjusted?" Vanya asks, looking oddly touched.

"I would like to direct your attention to Diego's leather pants-scowl combo and Luther's general aura of daddy-issues." Five says pointedly, "I can practically smell the tragic comic book backstory in this room. If I'd jumped back a decade earlier this would have been Batman's wet dream of orphan selection."

"Alright! Game plan!" Five says, waving Diego's knife in his hand.

Diego's hands immediately go to his weird harness looking thing, "Hey!"

"Give me just one moment to get the tracker out." Five rolls his eyes, "Then I'll give it back, I promise. Also if someone could ask Grace for like, some antibiotics that would be good."

"What?" Allison asks, directly before Five stabs himself and there is suddenly panic at the table.

"Relax!" Five says, allowing Diego to remove the knife from his hands. He doesn't need it anyway and his hand immediately drops down to root in the wound.

"Five what the fuck!" Diego yells, but Five just pulls up bloody fingers and waves the tracker into Diego's stupefied face.

"What the fuck is that, Five?" Allison demands, looking very shaken.

"I literally just said it was a tracker." Five points out, "Now, I think our first team activity should be voting on whether we destroy it or take it out to bumfuck nowhere and ditch it to confuse the Commission."

"What the fuck is the Commission?" Diego barks.

"Man. Maybe I should just hit up Rick." Five muses, "This is going to take so much explaining."

"Who is Rick."

"So much explaining."

[lwt28brave]

LT2 masterpost

If it was up to me, we would get an autumn or winter EP. Since it’s not up to me at all, here, enjoy this post with everything we know so far of LT2, which is to say, not much at all. Everything here is hypothetical. I’ll be updating every time I see something relevant. A little disclaimer that while this is a masterpost (kinda), it could be read as discourse (duh, it’s also a theory), AND it’s also by me, and you shouldn’t expect me to be serious at this point.

Due to me restraining myself, there’s no reference to any of the times he’s mentioned his guitar skills and him improving but I hope you know I cried every single time.

I’m also linking my old pinned here. It was written before AFHF and around the free merch thing that didn’t lead to much, but I still think I made some good points.

Possible tracks:

Copy of a Copy of a Copy

Change

Faith in the future??

369??

Possible names:

369

Faith in the future

When is the album coming out?

Your guess is as good as mine

Friday 28th of January 2022. Almost two years after Walls. It’s a Friday. It’s a 28th. What else can I say?

Here you can find @want-to-be-loved timelines for every month.

Here you can find @berlinini’s timeline of what Louis has been up to this year (2021).

The rest is under the cut. And here you can find a PDF version where Tumblr can't tell me how many pictures I can add.

2020

He said back on May 2th 2020 he wasn’t writing anything new yet.

(x)(x)(x)

Interestingly enough, he’s said many times after that that the album’s not ready cause he has no new experiences to drawn from. I won’t call him out because he does it himself.

May 4th. He liked a tweet from DMA’s Johnny Took saying they had to go write together again. Louis has been credited as an influence for them and (kind of) participated in their previous record, so I’m assuming he meant for their music and not his, but you never know.

Nothing(literally nothing??? how did we survive) until 11th of July. We all know what happened that day. We all celebrated it. Nonetheless, that’s not what I’m talking about here.

(x) So, by the beginning of July 2020 he was working on concepts and ideas for the new album. That was fifteen months ago. I know perfection takes time but…

Brief summary of important things that happened from then until the next mention of new music:

Louis left Syco!!!! 10 days later he rescheduled the tour for the first time. He followed Matt Vines on Twitter, probably so we could publicly shame him into doing something. Also, the 10thanniversary. He followed more people I wish he hadn’t.

Then more nothing until September. Not even a single tweet. The first merch drop was on the 28th of August but he just RT’ed the tweet. He first mentioned Free my Meal on the 25th of September. Then on October 1st Walls hit #1 on a lot of countries and Louis was incredibly happy and excited about it ^^

And then, that same day, October 1st, 2020, he dropped this bomb:

(x)

He also said it was too soon to be sharing new lyrics with us (x)

And, obviously, this tweet which is actually what made me start this whole post. I would hope you know mate.

(x)

He also told us he was cooking "banger after banger" and that he was incorporating more social themes into his music (x)(x) (I believe any social issue is a political issue but that’s not the point rn).

COPY OF A COPY OF A COPY?!?!

These next paragraphs are brought to you by my mind not remembering things and me not having any links. I’m assuming COACOAC came from those writing sessions that supposedly happened in October. Or in LA but I have no idea if he actually was in LA at any point other than a Daily Mail article putting him there on December which would have been too late, but I do remember that someone said he was in the studio in LA last autumn???? A rumor. Maybe. IDK. Did I mention already all of this is very hypothetical?? Well, this is it. I can’t even remember if this was October or November or what. So, take this with a grain of salt.

I’m also… taking the liberty to assume, if you must, that Copy wasn’t meant to be a Walls reject because it sounds more mature and darker and it has a vastly different tone that Walls songs. I know he’s said that song probably isn’t getting into the album, but I want to have faith (in the future) that I’m getting a studio version. (But also, Louis, if you’re reading this, first of all GET OUT OF MY BLOG second of all, please don’t ever feel pressured again to add a song to the album because we have already heard it before. It’s your art and it should always be under your own terms).

So yeah, I believe that Copy is either one of those four songs (then imagine the other three??!!) or was written around the 1st of October date.

---End of the Intermission---

Then not much important (other than sharing more about Marcus Rashford fight against food poverty and the 2nd merch drop) until he announced the livestream on the 24th of November. (x)

It wasn’t until a few days before the livestream date we even thought again about new music (jk, I know we’re always thinking about new Louis’ music). So, December 9th/10th, 2020. Nine months ago. We got our first taste of new music!

He made sure we knew Copy of a Copy of a Copy isn't a cover! (x) (x)

(x)

Ok, so that’s it for 2020. (I feel like I’m missing something from September 17th because tweet was deleted but maybe he was still talking about cucumbers. We might never know. Unless I understand how Tumblr tags work). Expected, cause Walls was released in 2020. We needed to let it sit for a while.

2021

Another Summary: Louis third tweet of the year was telling the UK government off. So was the fifth. What a good beginning. On the 26th of January, he said he prefers pancakes over waffles. I hope he meant pancakes other than his own. More importantly, he tweeted the infamous “you lot read into things too much”. Don’t get me started, Tomlinson. Don’t. Then the 31st came around and Walls was one. He tweeted this. How wise. And Project Defenceless happened!!

15th of February!! Who cares about Valentine Day when the next day we got this? ♥

(x)

(x)

So…AN EP?? AN EP?? PLEASE RELEASE AN EP.

“I’m sure I will have something out this year but unlikely that will be the album”. Unlikely but not impossible. Also. A single would be good. This is the second time he mentions releasing something in 2021 and he sounds surer about it than the first time around.

He also said that he isn’t sure we will get a studio version of Copy. And that the best bridges from Walls to LT2 are Walls, OTB, KMM and Copy. Can’t wait!

Then we jump to March 6th when he announced he was going to create his own management company. “Sometimes action is needed first to encourage the motivation and belief”. As we can tell he was already manifesting some stuff which will lead us to the numerology stuff/Tesla… kidding. Or not. We might never know.

On the 22nd of March he answered some questions:

He told us music was still his main focus ♥ mwha. (x) I included this tweet to guilt-trip him into giving us music in case he’s reading this even after I told him to leave. ILY.

(x) I’d love to get a visual EP this autumn. Just saying. It sounds like a lovely concept.

(x)

…next (I will get into it, I promise. I’m just mad).

On the 25th he left for Mexico until April 10th. You could assume it was just for the documentary where we got ten seconds of footage or admit the obvious: LT2 its a Mexican baby!!

On the 26th (so, not so far apart from that first 369) we got the first Faith in the Future mention: (x)

Back then we were innocent people who had no idea what was coming upon us. We still have no idea because what the fuck does he mean with these. Please explain. I have one braincell and I don’t use it enough for this. I’m linking some theories.

On the 30th of March he confirmed he was already working on the documentary. So AFHF was already on the works. Will it take this long for us to get the Veeps numbers? We also got this tweet: "Got a decent chorus idea down" (x).

Same person that got the “something out this year” exclusive. If you know something share with the class. Also. Is this Change? I feel like this could be Change but I also assume he wrote Change after hanging out with his friends or being in Doncaster. But who knows.

(x) And the second mention to 369.

(x) 15th of April. The second "Faith in the future".

On the 19th of April he announced that he had something BIG for us later on the year which turned out to be the Away From Home Festival ♥♥ (x) I love him so much.

Then on the 28th he announced the 369 merch drop (which it’s probably the Walls drop? Except that the TOU and KMM ones were “drop 1 and drop 2” and this was drop 369 which, again, makes no sense) but we still don’t know what 369 means.

Into May’ 21 we go.

He rescheduled tour again. And dropped another bomb (x).

He announced he has signed with BMG as an independent artist by RTing this tweet on May 10th. The article also says that he’s already working on writing and recording LT2. The timing… we don’t know. What this deal involves… we don’t know either. Bear with me here because I have a lot to say about this.

I think the deal is only a distribution one, but that BMG are interested in Louis and what he (us) could bring to the table. They were either present at the festival or watching it, but officially they had no involvement at all with it (everything is credited either to Louis own company, 78 Productions, or Charlie Lightening’s company). That’s the case for both giveaways too; the vinyl one and the tickets for the festival.

I think it would be an unbelievably bad move not to test the waters with BMG now or soon-ish. At least a single, to see how it performs. Due to the circumstances, it’s obvious there’re certain limitations on place but I want to see how they push it, whether the radio play exist this time around and if the song is playlisted and promoted and all that… I would also love to know, since it says he signed with BMG UK, but it also states it’s a global deal, how things are going to go on the US and other countries.

Yes, yes. I know those are all questions and no answers. But I know the same as you, sadly. If any of you know more than you’re letting on… again, share with the class.

Where was I? Yes, on the 25th of May Louis had a great day writing (x). Since the first time he had mentioned he was officially writing to this date there’s almost eight months. And I believe he was writing before October’ 20.

He followed Robert Harvey that day and, on the 28th of May (why is it always the 28th???) he was spotted at the studio for the first time.

June was an interesting month for the fandom ♥. Lots of LHL content which I will love and cherish for the rest of times. On June 4th, June 9th, and June 10th he was spotted at the studio, but I believe he was there more days.

(x)

This was posted on June 6th and captioned Studio. Charlie also shared it with “Mega tunes being put down, can’t wait for this @louist91 #louistomlinson #LT2” as the caption. This gives me 2019 (Elton-Joint) vibes. I like it. Feels like we’re getting closer to something.

He added the Milano date on the 9th too which I’m mentioning because I’m going alone. Anyone wanna go with me please? I’m nice and I never eat anything before a concert so you can have my food. On other news. It didn’t come home.

During July he was at the studio at least three days too. Probably more. Feels like more with all the fan pictures we got. Or was that June? Anyway, July 1st and 9th we got some videos from Robert Harvey and wearesuperhi, which is who Louis has been working with the most, that we know of. I don’t know for sure they’re from that day. And on July 5th we got an article and lots of pictures of Louis looking really good outside the studio.

On the 12th of July the first fans started getting the free, 369 bucket hat and print. We still don’t know what the purpose was other than to thanks fans. Maybe that was it. I want answers and I still think it relates to a future project (see theories above), but it could also just be a bridge with the Walls breaking.

He didn’t tweet about anything interesting for a while, mostly because he lost his phone (he either throwed it in the air or smashed it who knows). Then on the 29th of July he announced the festival!

I’m glossing over it because there’s already been a lot of talk about it (rightfully) and while it was a wonderful thing, it doesn’t have much to do with LT2.

Let’s talk Change!

On August 3rd he tweeted this about the setlist.

(x)

And this (x) on the 28th! I can’t stand him.

We didn’t get it, obviously. Because who was going to get that. But we read too much into things. Alright.

On the 16thof August Dave Gibson shared this post tagged #LT2 with the eyes emojis 👀👀👀. I believe this has to do both with Change but also with whatever else came out of that Mexico trip.

(x) Last relevant tweet related to LT2 is this one.

So, on the 30th of August we got Change and we cried, and we know that Change is going in the new album. He said it. With those exact words. He also said he was “getting a feeling for it”. This has to meant he already has a general idea of the vibe of the new album and what’s going in it!!!!!! (Right? RIGHT?).

Anyway, let’s go back a few weeks because some other things happened on August. He was at the studio a few more times. Or it was suggested that he was there. On the 17th and the 18th. (Why was it so time-pressing to be at the studio instead of rehearsing for the festival? There was no studio at all on the documentary. Which makes sense, but again, then why?).

On the day of the festival we got another mention of Faith in The Future that made me feel part of a cult ngl. The words were flashing on the screen for less than a second. Okay.

And then he tweeted those words again after watching the livestream/documentary on the 4th of September (x). This is what makes me suspect it's either the name of the album or of the single.

On the same day, we got some interesting quotes about LT2 on the documentary.

“Soon I’ll have to think about me second album, which in my head I’ll get the tour out of the way and then I’ll address that. So, I hadn’t really given it much thought, to be honest”.

“When every day is the same is hard to feel creative and it’s hard to have any kind of proper inspiration”.

“As season started to come back, I started writing again and it was great and some of these songs turned out alright”.

And I think this is it. I might be overlooking some important details but that’s what we know and what we don’t know.

So. Conclusions. That’s what you missed on Glee. I do believe the album is, if not mostly done, partially there. And yes, this post is pointless and never-ending but it’s all in here if you need to tell Louis “Hey, you said this, mate”.

[little-smartass]

THE VAMPIRE LESTAT COVER ALBUM - the legendary Vampire Lestat is back and bigger and badder than ever, this time bringing a whole album of song covers ranging from classic bangers to newer fresh takes on chart hits! get your copy now, complete with a transcript of the artist's commentary on each song!

(songs I think Lestat would cover and release as an album in an attempt to re-kickstart his career and/or make some sort of dramatic statement to Louis. tracklist and "artist commentary" under the cut)

Survival - Muse

“And I’ll reveal my strength, to the whole human race, yes I am prepared, to stay alive, and I won’t forgive, and vengeance is mine, and I won’t give in, because I choose to thrive! Yeah I’m gonna win!”

Oh, I wish this song had been around back on that opening night at the Cow Palace - how apt that would have been! What a fucking anthem! They would have been rioting all night. I mean, they already were, but, like, because of the music. Not because vampires were being immolated in the middle of the crowd. Different kind of riot.

The Bitch Is Back - Elton John

“I’m a bitch, I’m a bitch, oh the bitch is back, stone cold sober as a matter of fact, I can bitch, I can bitch, ‘cause I’m better than you, it’s the way that I move, the things that I do!”

One day I want to have this play as I walk into Night Island. I’ll time it perfectly so that I throw off my coat - my denim jacket, or- oh, no, a fur! Maximum drama! - just as the chorus starts. Armand will know that I’m coming of course, but I think that’ll just make it even better. And I have good memories to this song... [muffled question] Sorry, gentlemen don’t kiss and tell, bébé. [laughter]

Everybody Loves Me - OneRepublic

"Oh my, feels just like I don’t try, look so good I might die, all I know is everybody loves me, head down, swaying to my own sound, flashes in my face now, all I know is everybody loves me”

Look, do I even need to explain this one? Didn’t think so.

Bad Reputation - Joan Jett

"I don't give a damn ‘bout my reputation, I've never been afraid of any deviation, and I don't really care if you think I'm strange, I ain't gonna change - and I'm never gonna care bout my bad reputation"

This one's fairly self-explanatory again. It could have been my personal anthem when I was mortal quite honestly. And it's an awful lot of fun to jump about and headbang to, don't you think? That's a new thing I've found out about, headbanging. People have been hopping about to music looking like fools for centuries but now there's a name for it. Fantastic.

bad guy - Billie Eilish

"I’m that bad type, make your mama sad time, make your girlfriend mad type, might seduce your dad time… I’m the bad guy. Duh.”

Creepy? Check. Sexy? Check. Tongue-in-cheek? Check check. This song was great and a lot of fun to cover.

Lover to Lover - Florence + the Machine

“I believe there’s no salvation for me now, no space among the clouds, and I feel I’m heading down, but that’s alright, that’s alright, that’s alright”

I don’t know, this one just felt very relevant. Also the piano was great to do. You might have noticed that I’ve picked a lot of songs with piano, and that’s because I bullied the studio into getting me a goooooorgeous grand piano for the recording space and I wanted to use it as much as possible!

Feeling Good - Muse

“Stars when you shine, you know how I feel, scent of the pine, you know how I feel, oh freedom is mine, and I know how I feel”

I just really like this song - I’ve done a cover of an excellent cover! Can- can you put emojis in this? Do people still use emojis? Well imagine I’ve put the shrug one. Wait, isn’t there- Daniel, Daniel, come here, isn’t there a shrug emoji made up of keyboard- [muffled words] yes! The shrug one! Yes, put that in the transcription. [ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ] I just like this song.

The Man - The Killers

“I got gas in the tank, I got money in the bank, I got news for you baby, you're looking at the man, I got skin in the game, I got a household name, I got news for you baby, you're looking at the man”

I feel like this one speaks for itself too. Can you put that shrug emoji thing in here again? [ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ] Yes!

J'ai Pas Envie - MIKA

J'ai pas envie, de faire comme si, comme les maris, qui disent oui, j'ai pas envie, j'ai pas envie, j'ai pas envie d'te faire plaisir, j'ai pas envie, j'ai pas envie, si tu m'aimes viens me le dire"

Look, I'm not going to translate the whole song for you, because it has all this clever wordplay you just totally lose in english… but the gist of it is that these two lovers are… at odds a lot. It's… it's maybe a little spiteful [laughter] but in a fun way! It's a fun song! Louis won't even be mad about it, it's MIKA.

Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy - Queen

"When I'm not with you, think of you always (I miss those long hot summer nights), when I'm not with you, think of me always, always"

[Long pause] God, I miss Freddie.

Let 'Em Talk - Kesha

Ah, full disclosure - I put this song in purely because of the expression Louis made when I played it in the car and it got to the line “can suck my dick” and she did that popping noise… it was incredible, and I just knew I had to cover it so I could see his expression when I said that. I can’t wait to play it to him. [laughter]

So What - P!nk

"So so what, I'm still a rockstar, I got my rock moves, and I don't need you, and guess what? I'm having more fun, and now that we're done, I'm gonna show you tonight, I'm alright, I'm just fine, (and you're a tool, so)"

I'm actually a big fan of nineties and noughties female stars - all that grrrrrrrl power, it's great fun, you know? I'd say this one is fairly self-explanatory, because I am still a rockstar! This is my new album! Fuck you EMP and your sniffy little article calling me "washed up"!

Little Lion Man - Mumford & Sons

"But it was not your fault but mine, and it was your heart on the line, I really fucked it up this time, didn't I my dear?"

This one could be self-deprecating, but it's also very vindictively angry at the same time, and that's a combination I definitely get. Like, oh, it's my fault, isn't it? It's my fucking fault again, what a surprise. Perhaps "learn from your mother or you'll spend your days biting your own neck" is a little on the nose… [muffled words] you've read my books, right? [muffled words] Good, good.

Missy - The Airbourne Toxic Event

"But I swear there's still some good in me, I think if you'd stuck around you'd see, all the botched attempts at integrity I once had"

Oh, I was feeling philosophical when I picked this one. No, philosophical isn't the right word… melancholy? Do people still use that word? "I swear I swear I swear I'll never get sad" is both furiously defiant and yet so self-defeatingly ironic. [Exasperated noise] Enough of that. Next!

Please Don't Leave Me - P!nk

"I don't know if I can yell any louder, how many times have I kicked you out of here, or said something insulting? I can be so mean when I wanna be, I am capable of nearly anything, when my heart is broken… (please, please don't leave me)"

Oh, we’re… we’re getting to this section now. [clearing throat] Well, I have to make up for that sucking dick line, don’t I? Get a bit vulnerable. Oh God, why did I decide to do this bit? [muffled words] [bad chicago accent] But why buy the cow? Because you love him, you really do. [sigh, laughter]

Next To Me - Imagine Dragons

"Oh, I always let you down, shattered on the ground, still I find you there, next to me, and oh, the stupid things I do, I'm far from good it's true, still I find you, next to me"

Why did I- I don’t remember putting so many of these ones in.

Run To You - Pentatonix

"I've been settling scores, I've been fighting so long, but I've lost your war, and our kingdom is gone... how shall I win back your heart which was mine? I have broken bones and tattered clothes, I've run out of time"

[Sigh] [clears throat] Yeah. I think we can move onto the next one.

Love of My Life - Queen

“Love of my life, don't leave me, you've stolen my love, you now desert me, love of my life, can't you see? Bring it back, bring it back, don't take it away from me, because you don't know, what it means to me”

I play this one sometimes on my baby grand when we've had a fight, and it's impossible for him to stay angry. He's a sucker for this sort of… formality in romance. God, I wish I'd realised that earlier. If I'd written him a letter in fancy copperplate script with scented paper and enclosed rose petals politely requesting him to bend me over his desk back in the day, it might not have taken two centuries of mutual blue balls for us to figure our shit out. Ah well, live and learn… as it were. [muffled words] Look, I did a whole bunch of vulnerable songs! Now I get to make sex jokes! [laughter] oh fuck off.

[kuekyuuq]

Gloria, Jet-lags and Imps [6x11]

Let’s jump right in:

Kinda love how Kara lamp-shaded addressed the fact she didn't tell the gang about her adventures in the PZ. She’s not wrong, tho.

...what do I want to say about Mxy using what's basically a well-known gay-anthem to tell his tale? I mean, it didn’t lead anywhere. The original song is about freeing oneself, liberation, stepping out of a (gone bad) relationship and moving on, stronger for it - empowerment. The only connection I could make, is that originally it was Nyxly’s aim to just do that (freeing herself and her kind from an oppressor), but in the way Mxy performed it, that part of the parallel was long over before he even reached the chorus. It’s also a popular Karaoke song, tho, so... he chose it because it’s catchy? I’ll try not to overthink it for now. At least, the Superfriend’s reactions were fun.

Nia exiting the elevator, "And what's this Old Stone?" I love it when ppl enter a room / situation and pick up on words that they couldn't have possibly heard. I think cinema sins ding such... Are we to assume, she dreamed Mxy's rendition of ‘I will survive’? Or is the elevator not sound-proof at all? (If it’s the latter, Nia later apparently telling Brainy “in private” between scenes / during the elevator ride about her Nyxly adventures, was a silly thing to do.)

So, "Jared" created the ring Old Stone to rule them all, it got shattered into the Paragons totems? Nyxly needs the totems and to get them she needs a crystal which also belonged to "Jared" - who happens to be Mxy's ancestor, which is why she needs Mxy / his blood, too.

I have one important and incredibly relevant question here, tho... 

With the introduced imps and their names... Why’s dude named Jared of all things?!

Really, did I mishear that? If so, I’ll leave it as is and never edit, bc that would be hilarious in its own right 😋

...

Not sure what to make about Supergirl paraphrasing a Dirty Dancing quote.  "Nobody puts Mxy into a power crystal on my watch."  ...is he Baby now? (Seriously, though: Which of the writers thought that was a fitting quote to use in that particular context?)

...now, is the exposition section of the episode over yet?

Sensitive Brainy sensed something was up with Nia. He can relate... Nia doubting Kara would understand, too, is ridiculous. But I get it... insecurities and all. But, I mean, just 5 minutes later Kara announces she wants to save Nyxly despite her wrongdoings. And yet Nia still remains convinced, Kara wouldn’t forgive her own personal mini-me... After having witnessed Kara forgiving Lena for a whole season of the writers being stupid messing up to the nth degree. But I digress, Lena’s Lena.

...how old is Nia meant to be again? Just asking out of completely unrelated curiosity.

F*ck. They really went with NewFoundland...

Imma assume it was an executive choice after realizing they couldn’t find enough actors and actresses with a convincing Irish accent... maybe. Again, no offense to Newfoundland! Just... we got the insinuations of Ireland, not Newfoundland... And truthfully, when I think of magic, Ireland is an easy association. Whereas I only due to this whole debacle learned Newfoundland has Irish ancestry. So, okay, the show forced me to learn something new... I give ‘em that.

An easy journey, she said.

Lena's been off-screen for two whole episodes, Kara announcing at the beginning of ‘Dreamweaver’ [6x09] Lena being “back east” (at least insinuating Lena’s left the west-coast already), which span over at least one full day (feat. a scene at night), and ‘I still rise’ [6x10] at least another a whole day (the whole Nia’s mom back for a day deal). And, now, after at least 48 hours she barely just arrived.

Lemme check how long a regular plane would need to fly from California to NFL......... ... .. .. So... approx. 10 hours with at least one layover. 

Yeah, using a private jet made it easier, but apparently also much, much slower...

Or, Lena randomly went some other places / did some sight-seeing in NFL before she decided to finally visit her mother’s hometown...  [Either that or the timelines don’t match up and Lena’s scenes are flashbacks of sorts.]

Optimistic and relaxed Lena is a sight to behold. I rewound 3 times, just to enjoy it for as long as possible. We all knew it was going to be short-lived... 

Let’s check off a few more items...

OMG, Kara hiding behind Alex at the mere sight of the PZ-projector broke my heart!  😢

"Elisabeth Walsh" is the new 'the one you shall not name'. ...poor Lena. 😭

Oh, so Mxy wants to be Patrick Swayze instead of Baby... gotcha.

...is this going anywhere?

KITTY!!! Okay, this must be the best opponent in the history of CWSG. 

Despite the horrible CGI, SG using her heat-vision to project a laser-beam to distract the cat had me in (happy-) tears! 🤣

Gotta love the civilians of National City quickly returning to business as usual once the giant cat is gone. Even the police officers looked rather chill...

Nyxly did look fabulous this episode ^^ 

Andrea being Lena's rock is both great and annoying. I can't fault Andrea. It's just, that we still have to see an on-screen interaction between Lena and Kara and that bugs the heck out of me. I can’t help it. I’m sorry, Andrea.

Nia: "...is my fault." Kara: "Nu, is MY fault!" J'onn: "Stop fighting, kids!" Space-dad has spoken.

Mxy used an LuthorCorp copy machine... and of cos it's faulty. It's not an L-Corp product.

Kara forgiving Nia came as a surprise to her... Oooookay. I mean, the show has been writing Kara a bit inconsistently the past two seasons... so, yeah, maybe being unsure which of her traits apply this week was not such a far stretch...

Maybe it's the hair, but I wished, Florence was played by Alex Kingston.

So, not-Alex-Kingston shows Lena herself with a funny wig and tells her how her mother was still watching her...

If it wasn't for Katie's acting skills (I love her.) I would have already hit my head against the wall repeatedly. Something about these scenes had me constantly cringe and I made it through 5.5 seasons of this show already... Can’t quite put my finger on it, but it was highly distracting from the story that explained Lena’s mom was special even to another witch, where there was domestic abuse, and an accidental murder. Y’know, important stuff, deep-cutting stuff! 

At least, poor widddle Lena got some closure there. Elisabeth was a good cookie. And filled with magic. And Lena’s gotta have that ‘spark’, too... 

....so... Lena’s gonna stay in NFL for how much longer, to train becoming a witch?  Please, just hand her a how-to manual and send her back home, to figure it out on her own, please... (Yes, that would be horrible decision-making, but I need her back with the team!)

On to the finish line: 

So... Mxy IS Nyxly's brother? Wait, that doesn’t sound right... then Nyxly would have the same blood... Did I miss something? Can someone explain, please? Or is he her ex, and that’s where his rendition of “I will survive” makes sense?

Hnn... I can't help, but think Kara's speech for Nyxly was 85% based on her experiences with Lena in s05.

Awww... he said "stronger together"... Mxy... I hope, you'll be okay!

Lena believes in magic now. And I absolutely love how Lena wants to science magic XD

...but apparently magic isn’t science that hasn’t been explained yet, but parallel... powers? concepts? ether strings?

Nyxly has a loyal henchman now. Which was a bit heavy-handed. Took way too much of screen-time, so it better leads to something interesting.

And Kara is on a warpath now. Wooooot! Girl’s got enough.

...what else? 

Did I miss a third Patrick Swayze hint / quote / mention?  I learned, these things come in threes... Y’know, basic writing rules... 

I guess, for once the episode title was meant to be taken literally, Mxy popping up between characters, to try and help. (I need in-show footage, of Mxy sneaking up on ppl, without his powers, on all fours / crouched, just to get the desired effect.) I mean, I’ve never really watched Malcom, but wasn’t he like what Mxy usually is? A bit of a trouble-maker, prankster, chaos-ensuing wherever he goes? ...well, in that case, the episode title didn’t hold up, as Mxy’s scenes were not fun or really goofy. Yes, there was some superficial humor, but just to serve Mxy dealing with not being able to use his powers, which in turn was only barely scratched at (although it turned out to be his final character development crisis, appreciating not having powers and - in turn - facing consequences for once). Again, a whole lot going on in the episode, so a lot of that may have ended up on the cutting-room floor.

...where’s Kelly? Secretly adopting a kid, maybe?

...Kara’s still a reporter, right? I mean, whenever it serves the immediate plot, yes? ...Not even a throw-away line, that she has to pop up at CatCo for appearances sake? Since Andrea is already upset with her AND looking into her friends’ identities? At least, Kara should take a peek to make sure Andrea hasn’t uncovered anything yet... No?

Well, that’s all I’ve got for now. Kue out.

[ranboo5]

Dropping the Ranboo mixtape

Anyway at time of starting to write this post I had two likes and two affirmative replies, which is Good Enough For Me, so here I am :D I was gonna link the YT but on second thought my YT channel is a mess so this is gonna be one of the annoying ones that doesn’t link to one you can actually listen to but 

This is also a running list and currently organized roughly by increasingly hotter takes and it’s under a cut bc it’s 13 songs and I justified all of them 

Everybody Likes You (Lemon Demon) - LISTEN THE ANIMATION MEMES WEREN’T LYING THAT EVERYBODY LIKES YOU CAN RANBOOCORE. The increasingly distorted, incredibly bright repetition of EVERYBODY LIKES YOU EVERYBODY LIKES YOU EVERYBODY LIKES YOU until you can hear it morphing in and out of EVERYBODY LIED TO YOU? Tell Me That’s Not Him In The Spiral Depths 

Tall (Naps the Block on YT) - This is a) literally a theme for the End, b) sounds stumbling and anxious/high-strung, and c) echoes the Pigstep melody in the middle while still very much doing its own thing this is self explanatory 

Dance of Thorns/Old Secret mashup (Tensei and James Roach respectively, feat. woodfur00 on YT) (yes this is Homestuck music) - It’s just the vibes. The energy. The way the elegance of the violin lines of Dance of Thorns sounds almost nervous especially against the almost noir mystery vibes of Old Secret, and the guitar lines of Dance of Thorns add like. Initiative/urgency especially when they underlay the other music it’s so good I don’t think either song alone is Ranboo vibes but this remix definitely is. Just the mix of perseverance and desperation and melancholy and mystery and Class 

Touch-Tone Telephone (Lemon Demon) - This one is old news but tbh it just works. Man decides he’s the correct one in this situation and he’s losing his entire mind that no one is listening to him because he just is not 

2012 (Will Wood) - This one isn’t really clever it’s just about memory loss, derealization, identity, and often self-hatred (“A miserable fuck, but a loud Tao mystical” is a lot). “Did you lose yourself?/It’s always in the last place that you check” sounds so mocking in ways internal monologues like Droice have been and “I might find myself/By retracing my steps” is literally just Ranboo dealing with the Enderwalk; “And not until lobotomy abolished my monotony/Did I applaud autonomy, and modify a lot of me!” works so much for him Dealing With Himself generally, and also “I heard the world would turn to hell/Compared to that, I’m doing well!” is a Him sentiment 

Hand Me My Shovel, I’m Going In! (Will Wood) - Jokes about the three hour mining/grinding streams aside. Not only is the chorus so heavily a spiral/self-evaluation mood, but literally consider his thought processes abt the things he’s done/allegedly done and then consider “My dreams were shattered like a stained-glass window/Jesus in pieces! I believe I through a brick right through Him/But my memory could not be saved!/It just seems unlikely that it’s me who was to blame/So I bookmark my DSM, ‘cause I need to remember my place.” And now with the advent of the “experiments” the second verse’s “Take the road on higher ground, and tell me ‘don’t look down! You’ll fall and break your back’/But that just reminds me how there’s more to be found beneath the black!” is more relevant than ever 

Friends With You (The Scary Jokes) - Oh my god. Oh my fucking god man. This could be on here for “I put myself to bed just halfway through the party/I love all my friends, but I hate when their eyes are on me” alone but the general almost empty saccharine vibe of the song is immensely his vibe; the humorlessly-smiling vocal fry on “don’t know” in “Why do you pretend/You don’t know who’s to blame?” is probably responsible for 80% of this read. Not to mention the first lyrics are literally “How long do I have to wait/’Til my lonely days are over?” which is really the. The waiting it out man the So When Do I Get To Be Okay of it all. Shoutouts also to “And the crumbling infrastructure no one else can see,” the self hatred of “I miss being friends with you/But what can I do/What can I do/But leave you alone?” and to “And I can tell you really love me/Can you tell I’m really sorry?” Just. The mix of hope+affection and dejected cynicism and self-hatred in the lyrics

Saline Solution (none other than Mr Wilbur Soot) - Remember what I said about waiting it out until you get to be okay? Anyway that’s crystallized in “If I could just break one more night/Maybe I could wake up and feel alright” and also this is literally a song about catastrophizing and self-evaluation just,, in general and I will not be highlighting all the lyrics about this but I will highlight the fact that he literally calls himself pragmatic and also the lyric “blurring the facts and the fiction.” Also, the sheer desperate anger-concealing-breakdown vibes of “I think I’ve made my choice” to “I think I’ve found my voice” deserves a mention, as does the culminating end of “saline solution to all your problems” with the tears+now splash water motifs of it all with Ranboo I am going to die 

Funny (The Scary Jokes) - This is actually a softer take but not only does it literally start with the singer pleading with the addressee to look away, it  continues with “I went up in the middle of the night and I climbed right onto the stage/And I raged/And I cried/Oh, what a funny joke am I” disregarding everything as performance, reemphasizes the opening demand with the qualifier “it’s not that I hate you, it’s just that I’m funny these days,” and then kills you with the last couple lines which. Yeah he does care and it does,,, just,,,,, a

Chemical Overreaction (Will Wood) - This is where the mood VIOLENTLY whiplashes because this is where we get unhinged. Anyway “I won’t stop to drop to draw a line in the sand/’Cause I’ll be picked apart to pieces by coyotes!” is LITERALLY the whole “I don’t do well with ‘peer pressure’” thing. “Where the sentimental value of the city around ya/Is deleted obsolete, but still completely will stun ya” is the single most L’Manberg lyric I’ve ever heard, especially from the perspective of a character whom I will repeatedly insist is narratively in the role of someone who’s shown up and seen the status quo as an outsider after it’s been established (hence the eternal New Kid vibes). Chorus very much has vibes of Ranboo Is Seized By The Urge To Do Something, and like. The entire dramatic end part. The last two lines especially (be very careful if you look up the vieo for this by the way it is NOT pretty; cws in the video for flashing, blood, suicide imagery) 

A Mannequin Adrift (The Scary Jokes) - The Bitterness. This song is just fully The Bitterness at the environment he’s stuck in; the saccharine comes back as does the “peer pressure” thematic and just the Having An Awful Time; the sarcastic saccharine comes back too, which is always good I love passive aggression. Honestly the first verse is just everything like just listen to it it immediately makes sense

Poison Ivy Grows (The Scary Jokes) - This is overall a song about having bad brain and not knowing what the hell to do about it; it’s so faintly bitter and distant and melancholy and also so zoned out. Also, it’s not the only lyric that matters here but it is enough to be a full argument on its own: “I used to spend so much time/Wandering around outside/Now I’ve got too much on my mind/Now I’ve got too much on my mind” 

Spring Haze (Tori Amos) - Listen. Do I know what Spring Haze is about? No. Is that gonna stop me from saying it’s about Ranboo? Also no. I just think “You say we’ll never make it there/So all we do is circle it” is so much, the fact that the bridge at the end is just “Why does it always end up like this?” repeated, and that it just feels so much like overall the song feels like a desperate attempt to figure Something out, and the chorus is just inexplicably him? It might be partially influenced by the fact that “Uh-oh, let go, off on my way” and, to a lesser extent, “Uh-oh, way to go” is not only in accordance with character vibes but also vaguely evocative of Ranboo’s speech pattern