#hello you found a hidden rant

[maylovesalot]

Sigh yeah guess who also did the thing >:)

Original post

[bellawoso]

love story

aitana bonmati x fem!reader

description: aitana falling for you despite you being quite nerdy when it comes to shakespeare and art. aitana is helplessly failing english lit, in order for you to tutor her she requests for you to come to her matches each weekend, you end up falling for her too.

(kinda unrealistic as i highly doubt aita would take english lit 😭) + ALSO DIEGO MAKES A RETURN!!!

at first the move to barcelona had been scary for you, the new language and culture were unknown territory for you, and you couldnt help but feel lonely with not many people to talk to you in english.

until at a party, you overestimated how much drink you could handle and ended up on the brink of passing out, only to be saved by a random spanish boy you had seen around campus and spoke english.

a new friendship stemmed that night, you and diego were inseparable, even though you owed him one two many times after he saved you from people cursing you out in spanish after you accidentally pissed them off.

that was exactly what had happened now.

you and diego also work at the same art museum, although he often complains about the boredom he experiences there, much to your annoyance. he still continued to work there, the pay is good and you are in your happy zone, excited to spend all of your free time surrounded by one of your favourite subjects.

except for times when you managed to irritate random spanish people. in your defence, the piece of work wasnt that good, and the artist wasnt well known, how were you to know that you were speaking to the artist claiming that there were better pieces that deserved a place in the museum.

the man had gone into a fast paced spanish rant, although you knew some spanish after some time of living in barcelona, you were no where near fluent enough to understand the heavily accented, rapid spanish that fell from his mouth.

diego was very quick to intervene and call security on the man who was now jabbing a finger in your direction, the only word you understood was “puta” after hearing the insult many times from diego to people that annoyed him.

seeing him escorted out, you were quick to flee to your favourite part of the museum, at the east wing of the top floor was a small library filled with copies of old literature, with historic renaissance paintings hanging on the walls.

not many people went in there, it was very well hidden from the public eye, and was out of the way of popular artist exhibitions. however, nothing was too hard to find for a certain brunette midfielder, who was bored out of her mind.

———

today was aitanas day off, when ona gathered her, jana, bruna, pina and patri for a “fun day out” a museum was the last thing she was expecting.

ona was actually enjoying looking around the museum, pina and patri were talking to a group of girls they found “hot”, jana and bruna were raiding the gift shop.

this left aitana bored out of her mind, so she went exploring and ended up on a corridoor that stretched to what looked like a library.

despite english literature being aitanas minor degree, she was actually not that fond of it, much to her parents dismay who had to hear constantly from aitana how she was failing it.

when she walked in, she physically jumped when she saw a girl sat on one of the seats reading some shakespeare play.

if there was one thing aitana despised the most, it was shakespeare, the prospect of learning the plays and writing about them made her want to gauge her eyes out.

she was ready to turn around and beg ona for them to go home, until a soft voice pulled aitana right back to the library.

“hello! can i help you?” upon hearing this, aitana quickly turned back around to match a face to the voice, and was met with you now looking up so she could see your face.

aitana didnt notice that she had zoned out while admiring you, normally she didnt feel this way for anyone. each time pina and patri tried to set her up on a date she was always quick to reject, as in her opinion she had to focus on football. however at this moment, she seemed happy enough to break the no relationships rule for you.

“sorry can i help you?” hearing you once again managed to break aitana from her daze, as she quickly tried to think of a topic that she could strike up a conversation with.

“uhhhh- you like shakespeare?” aitana asked, whilst internally cursing how her voice wobbled as she spoke to you.

“yeah i do! are you a fan of his works? what is your favourite play?”

honestly, aitana had no idea why she chose shakespeare, in fact, she despised the guy who she had to memorise a ton of plays for. however, seeing your entire face light up at the sound of his name could persuade her to talk about him all day.

what aitana hadnt vouched for was you quizzing her on him, i mean, she was failing english lit for gods sake. but if she could just act like she was an expert for long enough for you to be impressed enough to accept her request of a date with you, then it would give her enough time for some quick shakespeare revision before your date.

“i love shakespeare” aitana stated, the link tint of her cheeks only darkening as you smiled upon hearing this, “ i would say that romeo and juliet is my favourite!”

“a classic tradgedy, huh? you like romantic plays?” you asked with a smirk, and aitana tried to rack her brain to figure whether you were flirting with her or not, and made a mental note to somehow improve for the next time she spoke to you.

“yeah, im a massive tragedy fan! another tragedy i love is-“ silence filled the library as aitana desperately tried to think of another tragedy, and felt like hitting herself for not paying more attention in her lectures.

“uhhh- a midsummers night dream?” aitana cringed at how it came out as a question, and blushed fiercely when she heard you giggle.

“although some prospects of the play could be considered a tragedy, a midsummers night dream was actually intended to be a comedy!”, you stated, rambling off about some tragic elements of the play, and aitana never knew that shakespeare could be such a turn on, but maybe it was just the fact that a pretty girl was talking about it, not her old male professor.

after inviting aitana to come sit down with you, and diving into a conversation of plays, both of you hardly noticed how an hour had already passed, although the conversation had mainly been one sided, with you rambling about your favourite plays, aitana enjoyed your company.

that was until ona called aitana asking where she was as they were going, aitana was sad to leave, and noticed you frown a bit as she told you she had to go.

“thankyou for tolerating my rambling about shakespeare, i know you dont actually love it that much.” you said while smiling at the spaniard in front of you.

“huh- what do you mean? i love the guy” aitana argued.

“its fine honestly- i saw your confusion when i was talking about his plays” you laughed.

“okay fine, i might be failing english literature but i definitely learnt some new things while talking to you, so thankyou”

“any time” you responded just as diego ran into the library talking in rapid spanish which you know he only does when hes in a rush, you understood a part when he said “ended 10 minutes ago” which you could only guess he was talking about your shifts. you smiled apologetically at aitana and said goodbye before leaving with diego.

when aitana met up with everyone at the exit, she was bombarded with questions of where she was to which she responded “in the library”

pina was shocked at this answer “the library? you hate books! your failing english for gods sake! what were you doing there?”

“well- there was this girl-”

“a girl! there you have it! little aitana here has a crush! she must really love her if she spent an hour in a library with her!”

“shut up patri!” aitana scowled “ we were talking about shakespeare!”

“shakespeare?! do you feel ill tana, can you go to training tomorrow? ona i think she is ill” patri teased.

aitana only stormed off after shooting one last glare at the group before returning to the car.

the teasing didnt stop there though, as soon as the others got to the car, she was met with relentless bullying the whole way back to campus about how “whipped” she is.

but also she realised something on her was back, she had forgotten to ask for your name and she has also never given you her name, which put her in a grumpy mood for the rest of the night before deciding it was fate, and a sign that she should be focusing on football.

———

aitana however, was actually wrong that you didnt know who she was. it was part of the reason you knew she didnt actually like shakespeare. diego was a big fan of football and followed the schools girls football team who were quite popular amongst the school.

he dragged you to many of their matches whenever you had the time, and therefore you had seen the brunette midfielder quite a lot.

you werent surprised when diego dragged you to yet another one of their matches a few weeks later, you were both sat down when diego announced he was going to get a coffee, and with promises to get you a tea and some chocolate, he left.

while he was gone, both university teams started doing warmups, and you couldnt keep your eyes away from a certain brunette midfielder, who honestly looked too good today.

“careful, your drooling amiga! i didnt know footballers were your type”

“jesus diego! and theyre not, i was simply looking at number 14, i was talking to her a few weeks ago in the museum.”

“you were speaking to aitana! and you didnt think to call me?!”

the truth was, members of the football team were very popular, they were nice and would greet you if you said hello, but their main friends were in the football team, so you didnt really see them hanging around with other people. lots of students had slight crushes on certain members, much like yours on aitana.

you werent listening to diegos lecture though, as your eyes drifted to aitana again, the extra gym sessions she had been doing really paid off, and when she lifted up her training top to wipe the layer of sweat from her face, you wouldnt be surprised if you fainted there and then.

what you werent expecting were for her eyes to scan the crowd and land on you, seeing her point and wave at you with a smirk on her face made you glad you were sat, you knew if you were stood up your knees would have buckled under you immediately.

seeing you blush and send aitana a wave back was all of the confirmation diego needed to know that aitana just waved at you.

“did she just wave at you? y/n have you pulled aitana? how?! did you recite some shakespeare love quote or something?! do you like her? oh my god- you do! your blushing!” diego was spiralling, aitana was known for not dating or flirting, unlike many of her teammates who were known for flirting and dating a lot. so seeing her waving at you made diego unfocused for the entirety of the match, as he thought of how he was going to get you two together.

however, he didnt exactly need to, as you and him were seated quite close to the pitch, when the match ended both of you saw aitana call you over with a wave of her hand.

you werent sure how it was possible for her to look this good after a match, but as you approached the railing she was leant against you suddenly became very self aware of the blush that coated your cheeks.

“hey, your from the museum, right? i never actually got the chance to ask for your name.” aitana said, her eyes roaming appreciatively over your body.

“yeah, im y/n, you must be aitana, you played very well today, you have been revising some shakespeare?” you laughed as you saw the teasing frown that appeared on aitanas face, “shakespeare in my opinion writes very boring things!” aitana argued.

you put a hand over your heart and gasped in mock offence, “aitana youre hurting my heart, talking about the greatest play writer of all time!”

but before aitana could respond, pina and patri bounded over to her and slung an arm round her neck, they recognised you from the museum, and in their minds came to aitanas rescue to help her ask you out.

“hello! your y/n right? i think you were at janas dorm once doing art, correct me if i am mistaken” patri said, “yes i have been, its nice to meet you!” you replied as diego handed you yet another cup of tea.

“i hear you are very good at english literature? you know, aitana is in desperate need of a tutor!” pina stated while wiggling her eyebrows suggestively, making aitana smack her on her arm.

“ignore her! her mum dropped her on her head as a baby!” aitana joked making you laugh and reply “its fine! i dont mind tutoring you if you need it aita?”

upon hearing her nickname fall from your lips aitana couldnt help but smile bashfully and blush like a little girl with her first crush, much to her teammates amusement.

“uh- yes! yes- definately, i would love that, can i have your number? to schedule a time that is! or not- if you dont want to, or if you changed your mind! no pressure y/n- “

you smiled at aitanas almost incoherrent rambling, “aita, i want to tutor you, honestly. can i get your phone to put my number in?”

aitana quickly pushed her phone in to your hands before you could change your mind, and as soon as you typed in your number, sprinted off with a quick goodbye.

———

you and aitana scheduled your tutor sessions every tuesday and thursday, the days aitana didnt have training or matches. however, the study sessions werent going as planned, as aitana could not concentrate at all. you werent sure why, and obviously aitana would never dare admit that she was daydreaming about you, with you right in front of her.

you felt hopeless, you loved aitana, you really did, she spoke to you as well when she saw you around school, except that was it, you longed for so much more with the brunette, unknown to you that aitana felt the same way.

after a month of tutoring, aitana could still not pass an english literature test, she knew that you would confront her about it soon, you had dedicated a lot of time tutoring her after all.

“aitana i dont get it! i mean- you say you need a tutor but then you dont concentrate at all, you failed another test! do i bore you during these, what can i do for you to listen?” you said exasperatedly, aitana knew you had every right to be mad at her, to anyone else it looked like she wasnt trying at all.

“no of course your not boring me y/n, you would never!”

“tana, should i change the length of these sessions, are they too long, and making you tired? i understand if its too much?”

“no, no they are fine, i have one idea in mind though”, this was it, aitana planned on asking you something she had been mustering up the courage for a while to do ever since you had stopped accompanying diego to the matches, caught up in studying.

“uh- you could come to my matches each sunday? maybe in my jersey.” aitana asked sheepishly. you however, choked on your water as soon as you heard her request, i mean, was that not a couple thing to do?

“uh- sure aita, if that would make you concentrate on english literature more!” you paused as you quickly thought of an excuse to get out of the library to recollect your thoughts, “can we please cut this session a little short, i promised diego i would go for a coffee with him!”

“oh okay, bye y/n see you on sunday!”

after saying goodbye to aitana, you rushed to diegos room, telling him about aitanas request, although his reaction didnt match your panicked state, as he immediately started laughing.

“finallyyy amiga! i was wondering when one of you would make the first move!”

“diego your not helping! what do i do?!”

“you should probablyy… go to the match and wear the jersey?” diego said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, whilst rolling his eyes.

“everyone will see, its a thing couples do, everyone will think that we are together” you said, “you say it like its a bad thing y/n, if i were you, i wouldnt be mad if people thought i was with aitana bonmati” diego argued.

“whatever” you huffed also rolling your eyes at him “you will come to the match with me though, aitana texted me saying she got front row seats for us”

“obviously im going y/n, i guess now your girlfriend has got us good seats i owe the favour of being your drink refiller?”

“you were going to refill my drinks anyway, and shes not my girlfriend diego!”

“whatever you say”

———

it was match day, as promised you were wearing one of aitanas jersey which the midfielder had dropped off for you earlier this morning. you had already gotten quite a few dirty looks from people who you could only assume were aitanas “fangirls”. the dirty looks only got worse when during warm ups aitana came over to you, and leant over the railing, holding your jaw to move your head to the side so she could whisper something in your ear.

diego, who had gone to get you a tea when this interaction took place, only saw the two of you from far away, and from a distance, it honestly looked like aitana was kissing your neck.

“woah amiga what was that? you never told me you two had sorted your feelings out, was she kissing you?” diego exclaimed as soon as aitana was called back over to get ready for kickoff.

“what? we werent kissing! she was just telling me something!”

“sure y/n, sure”

the game had started, and a brunette midfielder on the pitch couldnt seem to keep their eyes off you. however, it wasnt aitana. a girl off of the rival team seemed to be flirting with you from on the pitch, as diego said.

it wasnt only the two of you that had noticed too, it was hard for aitana to not notice, especially when the girl scored and pointed at you in the stands.

this only fuelled aitana more to win, but jealousy once again overcame her when she saw the girl blow a kiss to you, so when the girl next had the ball, aitana quickly slid into her, completely taking her out and earning herself a yellow card in the process.

the short lecture that aitanas captain was giving her went in one ear and out of the other, as aitanas eyes had already drifted to you, both of you locked eye contact and you couldnt help but laugh and shake your head at the midfielder, who smiled at seeing your laughter.

in aitanas opinion, if she couldnt injure the girl anymore, she might as well embarrass her on the pitch. the rest of the match was filled with aitana nutmegging, and skilling the poor girl who flirted with you. the spaniard relished in the feeling of dribbling straight past the girl, and ended up scoring two goals, and after each one she pointed at you.

at the end of the match, she ran straight over to you, who was already stood up and leant against the railing.

“y/n i just wanted to thank you again for coming, you dont have to do this again next week, i know that football does bore you a bit.”

“no tana, i enjoyed it really, you played so well and im so proud of you!”

“you will come again next week?”

“of course i will, now you should go celebrate the win with the team.” you said, realising that most of the team were soaking up the glory of winning, and aitana was missing it, “also, would you want to go get a coffee with me next week, theres a new cafe that opened up near campus?”

“i would love to aita, message me the details?”

“i will tonight! bye y/n, and bye diego!” however a poke in your side from diego reminded you of exactly what he wanted you to do, and you knew you would be bullied relentlessly by him all night if you didnt, so you grabbed aitanas arm before she could run to her teammates, and pressed your lips to hers.

as you looped your arms round the midfielders neck, you felt her smile into the kiss, before pressing her tongue to your lips, eliciting a soft gasp from you which aitana silenced with her lips, you pulled away from the kiss when you began to feel lightheaded, and you werent sure if it was due to the lack of oxygen or that you were just kissing aitana.

“bye aitana” you said with a wave before pressing your lips on her cheek, as a more pg way of saying goodbye.

aitana ended up passing english literature.

———

[pillowdrawz]

🎃rise and MM Holloween??🎃

Rant/

The fact that in rise universe While the Turtles are cautious like in episode 1 but they quickly do not care anymore cause they usually go out in day. (Rise turtles goes to irl mario cart in NEW YORK OPEN DAYLIGHT, Kid Baxter wasn't afraid of the turtles, Nor the Humans when Rise leo was found out in the open, Repo mantis openly would talk to humans in his shop the humans DO NOT CARE, NOT TO MENTION SNOW DAY EPISODE?? IN THE DAY LIGHT??)

NOT TO MENTION RISE HAS A HIDDEN CITY??? WHERE THEY CAN BE THE MOST FREE???

Is it unfair for the other iteration cause...YEESS??

Sure mutant menace exist but humans just wanted drama and some action to make their lives not boring at the end of the day they do not care in the rise universe. Rise donnie was freely going in a school.

Its so sad but im so happy that The Mutant Mayhem got to go to school even though rise has the opportunity but doesn't want to. This makes me think does the rise fam have a Normal childhood??? (LIKE WHEN THEY WHERE KIDS-) the rise turtles would openly go out in the day light . Kid Rise Leo and Raph would sell a lemonade stand(with splinters help ofc) and People would buy like New york city people??? Hello?? Rise splinter has a Pictures of the rise turtles childhood its no secret to the flashbacks I imagine Rise splinter showing this to the other splinter and be like "This is where i help Blue and Red built a lemonade stand because they wanted new skateboards"

The splinters would be confuse cause WYM you made your kids sell lemonade UPSIDE???

end of rant/

Also this is Rise leo and Rise splinter you cannot tell me other wise.

(Also Sorry for not posting Bissy in collage Im studying IT. (Cause i wanted to make an IRL SHELLDON BABY HAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

[waterfire1848]

AU where Azulon was adopted, and by adopted I mean, Sozin stole him after his parents conveniently died because Sozin is so old and his genes are probably compromised. Also I could easily imagine Sozin getting desperate enough to steal someone's kid and bury the evidence as I imagine he forgot to have kids due to being angry Roku told him to fuck off or the kids he did have weren't benders so he banished them and didn't want another failure.

Hello, @deadlyangelofpurity !!!

Sozin becomes so focused on the comet that he forgets he's supposed to have children. After Roku dies, Sozin realizes that he needs to have some children of his own. He is the Fire Lord so there are one or two kids with his blood running around but they're all either nonbenders or weak benders so Sozin doesn't claim any of them. He's in his old age when he really starts to see that he needs to have some children, desperately. He goes to his inner council, a group of two or three men that are the Fire Lord's closest allies, are tells them about his worry. One of the men says he knows of a friend, an admiral, who just had a son with incredibly bending ability. After Sozin gets more information on the baby boy, he orders the infant brought to him and his parents killed. To the Fire Nation, the story is that a happy couple and their baby were sadly killed in a fire started by the admiral during a fight. Meanwhile, their Fire Lord just announced a healthy baby boy (with no mother in sight) and named him Prince Azulon, his rightful heir.

It's kept under wraps throughout Azulon's life that he's not related to Sozin by blood. The whole point of the Royal Family's rule is that they receive it by being blood related to "supposedly" Agni. So if it were to come out that Azulon isn't related to Sozin by blood then that opens the floodgates for people to potentially challenge his rule down the line. That being said, it's clear to literally everyone that Sozin had a child very, very, very late in life. (Councilmen: Fire Lord Sozin, I didn't even know- Sozin: Yes, it happened suddenly. One of the servants came to me a few days ago and said that this little one was mine. She saw that he had such firebending potential that she wanted to give him to me. Councilmen: Thank the spirits that there's an heir to the throne now. He'll make a fine Fire Lord one day. Sozin: Yes, he will). Azulon grows up in the palace as Sozin’s son exactly as you would expect. He’s taught to bend, put into academic lessons the moment he’s old enough to read, and into prince lessons once he’s old enough to walk. Sozin both doesn’t spend much time with Azulon because he’s old and because he’s not a good father so Azulon doesn’t really have much care at all.

Time goes by and Azulon lives under the believe that he’s Sozin’s son. Everyone just tells him that his mom was really young which makes a lot of sense to Azulon so he never questions it. Eventually, Sozin passes away and Azulon becomes Fire Lord. A few months before his father dies, he gets into an argument with one of his inner councilmen who starts telling people that Azulon isn't his real son and isn't royal blood. Most view his rants as those of an idiot who is spreading rumors because he's mad at the Fire Lord. Azulon doesn't really question anything because, again, it just seems so crazy, but he can't help but wonder if there is some truth to this and goes looking. When he goes looking, he finds his real birth certificate that was hidden away so no one would find out. (Azulon: FATHER! Sozin, on his death bed: Azulon? Azulon: Why!? Just why!? Sozin: You're going to have to be a little more specific, son. And what did I tell you about disrespecting your father? Azulon: You're not my father! Sozin: Huh? You finally found the truth. I was beginning to think you never would. Azulon: Why? Sozin: I needed an heir, you were strong and a baby. Everything worked out perfectly, wouldn't you say? Azulon: You killed my parents! Sozin: I made you a prince! *Cough! Cough!* What are you going to do? Tell the world? The Royal Family will crumble, the nation will crumble and you will be left with nothing more than whatever you can grab when they kick you out of the palace. Azulon: You don't care at all? I-I really thought- Sozin: It is not my fault that you were an idiot. The choice is yours, son. I'm already dead. There's nothing I can do to persuade you one way or another.) Azulon stays quiet.

Azulon later marries Ilah and has Iroh and Ozai. Ilah passes away seconds after Ozai is born which leaves Azulon with a hatred for Ozai. He can't look at him without seeing another parent killer like Sozin was. Azulon "raises" Iroh and Ozai as best he can while also being Fire Lord but the two brothers are pretty much left on their own. Iroh and Ozai are as close as they can be for having a ten year ago gap but they are still close and Iroh hates seeing his father hurt Ozai so much. He hates it enough that he decides to do something about it, but there isn't much he can do because he's not Fire Lord. That is until he comes across a familiar birth certificate and realizes the truth. Azulon would certainly have a lot of trouble if people found out he wasn't royal blood. The only problem with this is that it would also affect Iroh and Ozai and reveal that they aren't royal blood either. For a while, Iroh sits on this new information and doesn't do anything. Then comes the day that Azulon also burns Ozai's face (in a very familiar fashion) and Iroh stops him and decides that he needs to get Ozai away from here. He gives the birth certificate to the council then runs off with Ozai that night and with enough food and money for them to survive until he can get a job somewhere. (Ozai: Iroh? Where are we going? Iroh: Somewhere safe. Ozai: Is father coming? Iroh: No. No, we don't be seeing father...ever again. Ozai:....Thank you. Iroh: Always.)

Iroh and Ozai get stuck in a massive storm while they're sailing away from the Fire Nation and wind up in the South Pole. Because they are not wearing clothes appropriate for the weather or know how to fish, the two don't exactly have a fun first day. During their first night, a young mother finds them and brings them to her village so they don't freeze. The next morning, Iroh meets Kanna and Ozai meets Hakoda, Kya and Bato. Ozai is absolutely not up for leaving his brother's side and being around children he's never met (it has nothing to do with the fact that he's never been around kids his own age and doesn't know what he's supposed to do. Why would anyone even think that?). Kanna and the village are very iffy about letting two Fire Nationals stay in their home but they also don't like the idea of kicking out a 18 and 8 year old into the cold. Eventually, Kanna agrees to let them stay but says that they will kick them out if the two act like princes or start firebending at them. Since their in the middle of no where and Iroh basically just told the entire Fire Nation that he and Ozai have been accidentally lying to them for years, neither is very intent on getting kicked out of the village. (Plus, Iroh really likes seeing his brother getting to play with other kids....he just has to keep reminding Ozai that throwing snowballs doesn't mean you whack people straight in the face as hard as you can with a snowball.)

[yuri-is-online]

Hello Yuri!! Congrats on 500 followers!! You deserve it, your writing is amazing and makes me so happy whenever you post something new! (・∀・)

If it’s alright, could I request Ace Trappola, Ruggie Bucchi and Cater Diamond with prompt four if that’s okay? About the reader meeting someone at the ball and ranting to the boys about them.

Thank you so much in advance, and congratulations again!! ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

4. You met someone really wonderful at the Masquerade Ball and have been ranting about how he was totally the love of your life to your abnormally quiet friend. Actually, wasn't he invited too? Maybe you should ask him how that went.

Hello Rhea! It's always a pleasure to see you in my notifications, though you did give me a bit of whiplash with how fast this request came in (;ﾞ°´ω°´) It makes me very happy to hear I have managed to make you happy, I hope you like this post too. Also thank you very much for the kind words, they made me feel much better.

notes: they/them pronouns used for Yuu, I know the prompt says "quiet" but these three are sort of the chatty type so it's more like dodging the question (sorry), the other event requests can be found on my masterlist here. There's a movie reference hidden here (kind of) that if someone gets I'll probably scream idk.

Ace

There is a god in some sort of heaven and he hates Ace Trappola. Well maybe not a god, maybe it's just Riddle, and he certainly doesn't hate him, Ace is just being dramatic. But there has to be some sort of rule Riddle is breaking here, seriously what beacon of morals and etiquette sits pretending to sip tea while obviously eve's dropping on what should be a terribly private conversation. It's a nightmare made substantially worse by just how long he has been wanting to have this talk.

"Honestly I wasn't expecting to have so much fun, I thought Crowley was just going to put on a cheap tacky formal, not an actual ball with proper costumes." You feel light headed with joy for a change, technically half of the things you've experienced in this world you never would have in yours but a real, fancy Masquerade somehow felt more surreal than the overblots or flying brooms. Maybe it was because you had seen pictures of real ball costumes and masks that made it feel more tangible, like this was something you really were meant to be a part of.

"The costuming was indeed very impressive." Riddle swirls his cup just gently enough to avoid spilling his precious tea whilst making sure to pour Ace's all over the Heartslabyul lounge. "I was surprised at how impossible it was to tell who was who."

"I know! That's the whole problem." You practically jump up from the couch, before remembering yourself and settling down again. Ace notices you still move subconsciously closer to him, even if your silly head doesn't know just who he is. Or would it be was?

"Is it really?" Ace really wishes you weren't so used to ignoring his whining. "The entire point of a Masquerade is to be anonymous, isn't that why you and Deuce thought it was 'romantic.'" He had wanted to have this talk in Ramshackle where it was guaranteed to be private- scratch that he wanted to have it last night while he was trying to imagine what your eyes looked like under your mask. What they would look like if he moved his aside and just said what he was trying to for once instead of flirting more with the subtext than you.

"Well yeah I guess." You mumble. Your chest has been tied up in funny knots and Ace's unenthusiastic tone isn't helping with the pain. "But it's driving me insane to think I could have met my soul mate and all I know about him is that he makes a really attractive clown." Riddle chokes, tea cup clanking onto it's saucer as he politely tries to pass off his laugh as a cough. "Well not just that..." you mumble, closing your eyes to conjure up the memory of the jester who had produced a rose from behind your ear and insisted on leaving it there for luck.

"What sort of luck?" He held onto the rose just a second too long for your poor heart to bear, you swear he could feel it if he pressed his fingers that much closer to your pulse point.

"Well mine of course, how else am I supposed to find you when this is over." It's odd not to see the man's lips, your heart tells you it suspects he's smiling but it won't confirm it.

"That's not luck!" You laugh. "That's cheating!" He shrugs, as if to say he knows, that's the whole point. As if to say it's worth it to break the rules where you're concerned. It's daring, the way he holds you as you dance, the way your heart is screaming for you to just-

"I should have kissed him." You groan, remembering how Grim had charged in between you and your date screaming about how he'd never approve or something dumb like that. Just who did he think he was anyway?

"Well then why don't you!" Ace cringes as he says it, neck beet red as you go to sass him back before the oddly serious nature of his tone and the implication of his syntax force you to stop. Riddle's exit barely registers as you stare each other down, Ace from the corner of his eye and you with the full force you can gather.

"Would you have let me?" You whisper. A familiar touch lights just behind your ear, pressing in this time to trace the speed of your heartbeat.

"Only one way to find out, prefect." You expect him to run. Make some sort of joke about how he was pranking you, or say kissing before marriage being against the rules. But he doesn't. He waits, perhaps in the way he has been since the first night he showed up at Ramshackle, collared and crabby, just waiting for you to close the gap.

And embrace you as you fall.

Ruggie

Ramshackle was closer to the main castle than Savanaclaw. That was the excuse Ruggie had used to get you to agree to let him crash there, in his mind anyway. Really, all he had needed to do was ask, but you know that's not exactly how he works. Your relationship has always been a series of scratches, offers of give and take that tend to be minor but offer just enough of a technicality for true feelings to remain hidden just out of sight. That doesn't change how surreal it is to see him here so late, or the sharp contrast between all the stiff collars and plaster faces you both had been drowning in just a moment ago and the worn gym clothes you both wear for pajamas.

"Man I'm beat." Ruggie says, sinking into the couch. You aren't in much better shape, if he wasn't taking up a part of it you would be sprawled face down across the length the couch. Instead, you satisfy yourself with curling up into the far corner. You have a dreamy smile on your face, content like how he usually looks when he eats a large meal, or when he thinks you aren't looking.

"I think I found your soul mate hanging around the buffet tables tonight." You lazily tease, tracing nonsensical shapes on the floor to amuse the nervous energy from your earlier encounter.

"Oh yeah?" Ruggie sounds vaguely intrigued, but he doesn't move much. If anything he settles his neck more firmly into the sofa back, eyes intentionally trained on the ceiling. "What makes you say that?"

"He was stealing all the apple fritters." You say, dreamy smile widening when Ruggie snorts. "Too bad I intend on stealing him from you."

"Do you now." He murmurs, head tilting back down into his palm. He rests his elbow on his knee, but he doesn't look at you, not immediately. Your well into your little rant before he does.

"Well at first I was just going to steal the food-" that was the whole reason he had wanted to stay here, the two of you had hatched a plan weeks ago to smuggle in some containers and smuggle out as much food from the banquet hall as possible and it just made more sense to take it to Ramshackle "but he offered to give it to me so long as I danced with him." There is a container of said fritters in between you both, sticky with caramelized sugar and a good reminder of just how expensive the Masquerade Ball must have been to throw. It's odd to have food last so long in Ramshackle, odder still with Ruggie so close.

"Nice try." You said. "But you won't trick me like that. My friend trained me well and I need to bring those back to him."

"Are you sure about that?" The man's voice is muffled by his mask, white plaster forming three faces obscuring any meaningful detail of his real looks. He's radiant, something about the way he's managing to thread the needle through the crowd despite his exaggerated mask is holding all your attention despite Ruggie's warnings. You're supposed to be competing to see who would bring the most food home, but instead you're dancing in the arms of someone else, laughing as he kisses your hand when he dips you in tune with the song. "Your friend is missing out, I have the best tasting thing in the ballroom right here."

"I'm sorry I was so distracted I only managed to snag a couple things. Did you get anything good?" You roll out of the corner closer to the center, just out of his reach but oh so obtainable.

"Nope~" he says, letting the word pop and looking away with more shame than you have seen on his face... ever now that you think about it. "I uhh. I may have... also.. gotten distracted." Both of you look at the single container of apple fritters, suddenly very much aware that neither of you actually brought anything else back to your dorm.

"Laugh with me." You try to protest but Ruggie has both your fingers up to your lips, his trademark smirk looks good on you, he wishes he could take a picture. "Embarrassed prefect? You shouldn't be so worried, I told you how I felt didn't I?"

"But you don't know how I taste!" You manage to wail and he finally cracks, shaking with laughter and letting you curl your blanket around you in a ball of embarrement. You stay like that for a good long while, trying to beat down the smile that twitches at the corner of your mouth until Ruggie reaches over to unwrap you casing and pull your head into his lap.

"Well then, maybe you should let me test you." He's wrong you think as your lips meet, Ruggie has got to taste much sweeter.

Cater

"Well someone looks like they had fun last night~" Cater says and you giggle in response. He allows himself to pause before he continues, Cater really hates the sound of his own voice. How anyone can stand him is beyond him, and he knows the conversation he's about to have has a pretty good chance- no.

It's going to destroy the carefully built illusion he's woven around your "friendship" even if you react positively. Losing you would be painful, but keeping you in the dark would be even worse. He has to play this smart, play you correctly so he can try and keep your eyes with him even if they only look at the superficial face he wears.

Yes, Cater has to play you carefully, but he is off to a bad start. You know before he sits down that something is wrong, it's written all over his face sewn into his unwashed hair and dark circles under his eyes.

"I want to say 'you too' but honestly you look exhausted Cater, you sure you want to be awake right now?" You don't want to press him in case that makes him run, but you also know Cater a bit better than he wants to acknowledge. You don't really think the bit of yourself you have to share will help soothe him, but he goes along with his script anyway.

"Seriously, you worry too much!" He can't say about me because he wants your worries, and he knows that denial would crack his mask. "Besides I've just been dying to hear about the dance, you seemed really excited to go!" There's a sparkle in your eyes, a flush to your cheeks that he desperately wishes he had put there.

"It went well." That’s all you can bring yourself to say as your hands go to fiddle absent mindedly with the sleeves of your blazer.

"That's good?" He tries to poke at the topic but you don't go further. "Or was is it not good and you just don't want to think about it?"

"No! No it's just. I met someone. Or I think I did anyway." Cater blinks. Once. Twice. Three times just for luck because he knows, or at least he thinks he knows, that he was the only one with you all night. What you're saying just can't be right, there's no way you didn't know it was him all night. "He was just so easy to talk to! I completely lost track of time and didn't meet up with anyone else..." Your little embarrassed smile confirms it, you didn't know. He laughs.

"Sorry," he doesn't mean that "you're just too cute Yuu." He pulls his phone from his pocket as you desperately stutter.

"Look I'm really sorry I know I said I'd look for you, Riddle, and Trey but I was just... I don't know, moonstruck?" He laughs more, practically chokes as he quickly types an apology to Trey and savors your embarrassment just a moment longer.

"Don't you mean starstruck?" He teases and you suddenly find a bit of your fight back and fiercely shake your head.

"No way! That's for famous people. Moonstruck is for when you're overcome with ridiculous love for someone even if you don't know them." You pout and Cater looks at his phone, not to do anything really just to center himself and his thoughts. He has a choice to make, and he doesn't know where either path will go.

"Are you alright?" Cater should have known you would find him, there should be something scary with how unconsciously in tune with him you are. He doesn't say anything, but that doesn't seem to discourage you. You settle yourself next to him, sitting quietly keeping him company until he's ready to speak.

"It's all just a bit too much." He gestures vaguely at the room, uncertain why he's decided to speak about this now and not run from it. "Everyone's here wearing masks and hiding themselves like it's a fun thing to do."

"It can be." You say calmly. "But always dressing like this would be a lot." You look over the crowd with the stranger, the conversation lulls, and you try to examine the man's costume for a hint of what might be best to say. "You know," your voice is uncertain, but the words that come to you aren't ones you don't believe in, "everyone wears a mask sometimes, especially when they're afraid or lonely." The man says nothing, but something about the way he sits suggests you still have his attention. "You're not obligated to remove those masks for anyone, it has to be done when you are ready to accept the consequences of how other people will see you."

Cater isn't ready. He somehow doubts he ever will be. He wishes there was a way to confess this with a guarantee that the consequences won't burn him.

"You weren't the only one moonstruck." You look hopeful almost, exactly like you did when you'd pulled him from his corner to dance. Exactly the same as when you had when he had teasingly pulled your mask aside to kiss you, the same cute look he would never be sorry to see on your face. "Say are you busy prefect? I think there's something I need to tell you."

[ashonheavenscloud]

i fall || b. chan

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆ contents: bang chan x fem!reader, angst of a hopeless love, autumnal wistfulness and nostalgia :(

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆ word count: 4.8k

���｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆ warnings: none

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆ a/n: i love love love using seasons as a motif oh my goshhhhh. enjoy! (even if it’s heartbreaking)

now playing - 21 - gracie abrams

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Chan should have known from your first whirlwind of a meeting that he’d fallen into something hopeless.

Felix had been the one to introduce the two of you; you’d appeared out of the blue, on a particularly cool autumn afternoon. Chan had been minding his business, listening to Felix rant about his day while the older boy cleaned the coffee shop tables and counters. The place had been empty- courtesy of small town living- and the sound of a bell had alerted the two of them instantly of a new arrival.

His first glimpse of you had been you running, grinning as you all but jumped into Felix’s arms with exclamations and laughter. “Lix! Oh my god, you’re actually still here!”

“And you’re back!” Felix replied, holding you out at arms distance. Chan observed from the sidelines, a little confused but more curious. Your smile was bright and captivating, and he found himself instantly liking you. He didn’t know why, he just had a good feeling about you from the beginning.

“Ah!” Felix exclaimed, seeming to remember Chan’s presence. “Y/n, I’d like you to meet Chan. He’s a good friend.”

You exchanged hellos as Felix babbled, “Chan, Y/n used to live just in the next town. Although she’s been slacking on her visits.”

“Hey, I never promised anything.” You argued, lightheartedly before turning back to Chan.

He wasn’t entirely sure what he expected when meeting you, but he was surprised when conversation flowed so easily that Felix teased you must have met before and hidden it from him. You were just so engaging and exciting- and it didn’t take long for Chan to consider you close to his heart.

It was odd, considering how different the two of you really were. Chan could never understand your passion for travelling- it came in part with your job, but mostly because- as you confessed- you didn’t like to stay put for long, preferring a more scattered existence. Chan himself found comfort in the stability of the city he’d always loved, it’s steady rhythm that remained a constant in his life. He could never seem to leave it for long- it’s borders were his home, and the people inside his family.

“We, my friend, are clearly very different.” You’d chuckled, shaking your head.

“Can’t be that different.” Chan insisted, ducking behind the cafe counter with a shrug. “How do you feel about blueberry muffins?”

You smiled at him- and looking back, he’d been a lost cause even this early on. He hadn’t been able to help it when your smile was somehow brighter than fireworks and took his breath away just as easily.

Chan wondered for a long time if your meeting was fate. You popped back into his life with every change of the seasons, threw him for a loop and then disappeared again for weeks at a time. Where he figured it should have driven him crazy, he only felt more anticipation for the next whirlwind you brought him- and you never failed to come back no matter how long since your last connection. You returned like autumn; and Chan couldn’t help but fall harder for you every time.

And now your latest visit was just beginning- Felix and Chan had picked you up from the train station the day before, and you’d informed them you planned on staying for longer than your usual couple days. That small piece of news was enough to make Chan both excited and anxious. While he had more time with you, he knew it would speed past like always. He figured he should plan the days, work out his free time and whatnot. However, as always, you seemed to sneak up on him and throw all his meticulous strategizing out the window- and this time was no different.

It was a particularly cool day- only a few nights since your arrival- when he found you standing in a faint drizzle, huddled in a forest green raincoat by the bus stop. Your boots absentmindedly scuffed at the colourful leaves that littered the ground in soaked piles. Their earthy smell was one of your favourite scents, Chan knew; it was something you never failed to remind him of.

You glanced up at him just before he reached you, and a bright smile lit your face. He felt his heart stammer, the damned thing a reminder of your affect on him.

“I always liked the rain.” You raised your face to the sky, smiling at the tiny droplets that coated your face and dampened your hair. The peace in your expression was something Chan envied. Content always seemed to come so easily to you. “It makes me feel alive.”

“I suppose it does.” Chan replied softly, holding his free hand out to let the rain douse his palm. After a minute of silence, he bobbed his umbrella in your vague direction. “Does that mean you wouldn’t like to share this?”

You mumbled something that seemed suspiciously sarcastic before shuffling to join Chan under the umbrella. His nerves tingled at your sudden closeness, the warmth of your body pressed against his side. His heart was beating frantically, and he couldn’t help but grin.

“Thank you.” You peered at him, and nudged him. “What’s with the smile?”

“Nothing.” Chan replied quickly; your smile grew and he felt compelled to add an excuse. “It’s just that you’re right. The rain, it’s… refreshing in a way.”

“Of course I’m right.” You tossed your hair dramatically. “I’m always right.”

Chan laughed, and you flicked water at him.

“It’s nice to see you.” 

His eyes swiveled to meet your own, caught off guard by the sudden confession. You were rarely, if ever, forthright with your affection.

“Out of nowhere?” He had to question with a flustered chuckle.

You shrugged, staring out at the grey sky.  “I don’t know. It actually seemed overdue.”

And your bus pulled up then, leaving Chan to puzzle over your words as he was left alone in the rain.

He wondered late into the night what exactly you’d meant, his heart becoming a little too excited at the prospect of you staying for a while… whatever a while meant. He knew he shouldn’t hope, but in the early am’s he couldn't help it. He couldn’t help but imagine what it might be like to have you here. Here, with him, close enough to touch and hold. 

But he was getting carried away, he knew, shaking his head to try and clear it of the ridiculous idea. It didn’t matter what happened in the next two weeks. At the end of it all, you would be gone again. He shouldn’t expect anything.

Yet he hoped- and he hoped more strongly than he’d intended. Perhaps, in hindsight, it hadn’t been entirely his fault. You’d been consistent in meeting him somewhere along his bus route, and the ride through town had been so much lighter with you there to talk with. He asked you so many questions, and you never seemed to grow bored of answering them. How do you take your coffee? Straight black, but on occasion you’d add sugar. Do you like thunderstorms? The only form of rain you didn’t approve of. And even though you travel so much, where do you think your heart calls home? For that one, you’d laughed half heartedly, “I shouldn’t-”

“Tell me.” Chan was far too curious. 

You paused to play with the straps of your bag, staring out at the rain and the rainbow of trees. He almost wondered if you might not answer, or say something vague, or reply with ‘I don’t know.’ But then you looked at him with the echo of a smile.

“I suppose it’s always been here.”

He shouldn’t hope. He knew it would bring himself nothing but heartache.

But god, he couldn’t help it with you.

…

As he’d expected, the days flew by. He spent as much time as he could with you- at least, when he could find you. Felix joined you occasionally, but he was often busy with papers to complete and tests to study for. His first year of university was already proving to be difficult. Chan couldn’t complain in this instance- although he felt for the boy, he was also more than happy to spend his time with you, just the two of you. All the while though, he had to remind himself that you weren’t staying- like always, he would watch you leave again.

A couple days before you left, Chan convinced you to meet him at his tiny house. It had been a while since you’d been there, and Chan knew there was a particular something- or someone- you’d like to see.

“Berry!” You exclaimed, the fluffy spaniel immediately racing over at the sound of the door opening. You crouched to pet the puppy, tail wagging enthusiastically, and for a few minutes Chan just watched you with a smile. 

“She missed you.”

It was meant to say more than that, and maybe you picked up on that- because you turned your face away with a small grin. “Seems like it.”

Berry decided petting wasn’t enough and ran to find a toy to bring back. In the meantime, Chan urged you further into the house, a small one story that still sometimes felt too big to Chan. It was nice to have someone- even if momentarily- fill it again.

“Nothing’s changed…” you murmured, falling onto the nearby sofa with a sigh. “I don’t even think that pile of clothes in the corner have moved-”

“Hey, of course they have.” Chan laughed, cheeks flaming as he scooped up the various items and stuffing them hastily into his room close by. “Felix dropped these off- he didn’t want them and offered them to me.”

“If you say so.”

Chan threw a pillow at you, which you caught with a laugh and hugged tightly- oddly endearing to him. “Want something to eat? Drink?”

He smiled to himself when he heard your feet hit the floor and patter after him into the kitchen. “Is that even a question?”

He laughed, swinging open the fridge. “Soda?”

“You know me so well.”

He couldn’t help but grin as he pulled out a grape soda for you and a ginger ale for himself. After collecting a small plate of mini donuts to go along, you both settled on the sofa again, with Berry curled up between you.

“You know, I bet it doesn’t taste half bad together.” You insisted, imitating dipping a donut into Chan’s drink.

“No way!”

“It’s not that different from milk and cookies! Where’s your sense of adventure?”

“It’s not about adventure, it’s about-”

“If it’s disgusting, at least you’ll have tried.” 

“I’ll stick to what I know, thanks.” Chan laughed, taking a sip of his soda.

You shrugged, grinning.

It was moments like these that filled Chan’s heart the most- and simultaneously made it sink. Because it wouldn’t last. Because soon enough, this house would be painfully empty again. Of course, Felix would come occasionally- when he had time- and Berry was good company. But… it wasn’t the same as you. 

“You said nothing’s different.” Chan murmured, setting down his drink. 

You blinked at him. “Is there?”

Chan nodded, standing and motioning for you to follow him. He felt strangely nervous as you both entered his bedroom, and Chan stopped just inside.

“Look.”

You paused in the doorway, following where he pointed before your hand flew to cover the gasp from your mouth. “Chan! You got it!”

Chan looked down shyly, fingers lightly brushing the head of the sand coloured guitar sitting beside his bed. “Yeah, I took your advice.”

The last time you’d been here, Chan had confessed to wanting to learn to play the guitar. But he’d been unsure- the cost of the instrument alone had been deterring- but you’d encouraged him to go for it.

“Worst thing that happens is you don’t end up loving it.” You’d told him. “But… you could. You really could.”

Now, you raced over to gently touch the instrument, fingertips tracing the edges. “Oh my god, Chan. And?”

“And… I really like it.” He admitted with a small laugh- for some reason he felt nervous as he lifted the instrument and plopped onto the bed. “I’m sure I’m not that good yet, but-”

“Play for me!” You insisted- ah, right. That’s why he was nervous. Of course you’d ask for him to play.

“I’m still learning, really-”

“I don’t care, I just want to hear you.” You pleaded, sitting beside him on the bed. Your knees brushed his, sending a jolt through Chan’s body at your proximity. Your eyes were shining as he looked back at you, already knowing he was defeated. 

He could never help it with you.

“Alright.” Chan blew out a breath. “Don't hope for much though.”

You just waited, chin propped on your hands- and so Chan counted to three in his head, before strumming the first chord.

It was a familiar song to you both- a favourite you both shared, a sentimental love song you knew every word to. And although Chan was slow at remembering the chords, and you weren’t the best singer, a soft melody filled the room as you hummed to his strumming. Chan filled in with harmonies, closing his eyes to listen as peace took over his heart. Your voice, the song- he could live in this moment forever. And he didn’t even notice the way you were watching him, until the song ended and he opened his eyes to find your sparkling gaze and happy smile focused on him.

The last chord faded and was replaced with an almost tangible silence as Chan’s grip on the guitar loosened, and he let it gently slide to the floor. His eyes could not leave yours as he held his breath, fingertips tingling. He wanted to reach out to you, he wanted to take your hand that sat so temptingly close to his on the blankets. Just the thought made his stomach jolt nervously. He was frozen- and then the moment was over.

You blinked and looked away, brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear. “You’re not half bad.”

“Thanks.” Chan replied, because he didn’t know what the hell else to say. His mind was a mess of questions paired with screaming disappointment that he’d let his chance pass.

His chance?

This was what he contemplated long after you’d said goodbye and parted ways. He couldn’t deny the tension that had hovered in the air when your eyes had locked and he hadn’t seemed to be able to turn away. Even more rattling, though, was the heavy feeling of his heart when he thought about that moment. Because… 

Gosh, it had never been this hard to imagine you not being here.

Why was it so difficult this time? He’d thought the miles between you would be bearable as long as he knew that you’d turn up again- he’d been fairly content with it for a time- but for some reason, the idea of watching you walk away even once more had him pacing in his room at nearly 4 am two days before your departure. He’d known damn well not to dabble in optimism for this particular situation, but he hadn’t been able to help it. He loved you. He could admit it now, a silent confession to the stars that would listen. He loved you desperately, feverently, hopelessly. And now, he didn’t know if he could say goodbye this time around.

It was either insanity or the product of a panicking, blinded heart- which is, by all accounts, very nearly the same thing- when he asked you to meet him at the cafe you’d first met at those many years ago. It was a cloudy but pleasant evening, the sky barely darkening as a light sprinkling of cold rain dampened the streets. You were already waiting for him when he arrived, and Chan wasn’t sure if the feeling in his chest was warmth or dread when he noticed you’d remembered his coffee order- and it sat across from you, steam curling steadily into the air.

Chan felt anything but steady at this moment. Because he didn’t even know what he was going to say; he just knew he had to do something.

“Hi.” Chan greeted you with a small smile, ducking into the empty seat as you responded with your own hello. Silence settled over the cafe- interrupted only by a shuffling employee’s feet and the whir of machinery- before you cleared your throat.

“You were quite mysterious over the phone.” You stirred the tea in your mug, swirling the tea bag around and around before turning a teasing smile his way. “Well?”

Chan laughed, a short and nervous laugh, before shrugging. “Well,” he blew at his drink to cool it- and to buy himself a bit of time to mull over his words- before saying, “I suppose this is just a last little… something before you-”

His shrug felt heavy, like his very body loathed any reference to you leaving. You merely smiled, as Chan distracted himself with a sip of his cappuccino. Yes. Just the way he liked it…

“Everything comes to an end at some point.” You answered simply with a smile. How could you smile? Chan felt like he was being pulled in two directions, and getting ready to snap. “I mean, even life ends- we all die, don’t we? Ah, gosh-” you laughed, sipping your own drink. “I didn’t mean for it to sound so dark and final.”

He didn’t know what to say. He felt like a thread fraying, piece by piece, and he was sitting here pretending like the thought of you leaving tomorrow didn’t make him bat crazy. He remained silent, gripping his mug a little too tightly.

Either you didn’t notice or didn’t want to say anything, because you just kept talking. “It was wonderful to come. To see you, to see Felix. I’ve always loved this place… especially in autumn.”

Snap. Snap. Each tiny bit of his thread.

“It is beautiful.” He made himself say, a desperate attempt to keep himself together. 

You smiled at him, and said, “Thank you for making me feel so welcomed when I’m here, Chan. I… don’t know how to tell you how much that means to me.”

He couldn’t do this.

“Ah, I almost forgot-” you dug into your bag, and pulled out something small. Chan watched as you cradled a small box in your hands. “I meant to give it to you all week but… well, honestly, I didn’t know how to do it.”

You handed it to Chan, who surveyed the creamy white container, simple and plain. And when he opened the box…

It was a picture, framed simply in black. What took Chan’s breath away was the photo- he knew exactly where it was from. Last year, you’d visited for New Years and joined him and Felix and a few other people on the roof of the cafe for a celebration. You’d counted down until the New Year, and in the spur of the moment you’d pecked his cheek- after all, tradition right? you’d said while laughing, while Chan had tried desperately not to appear as flustered as he’d been. You hadn’t made a big deal out of it, so neither had Chan; he hadn’t said anything about it since, and neither had you- but here you were, frozen together in the picture. You’d kept that? Chan barely had time to take it in before you were speaking again, words coming a mile a minute.

“… I found it, so I printed it out and all that- and I don’t know, I thought you might want it. I mean,” you laughed, and it sounded uncharacteristically nervous. “I wanted you to have it. This is kind of my… confession.”

His mind was spinning, but it was still able to latch onto that word- and suddenly he couldn’t breathe.

“Because I’m leaving again, and Chan… I just had to tell you. Isn’t that selfish? But you deserve to know that I care about you more than you might think.”

No. No, why like this? 

In every scenario he’d imagined today would go, this hadn't even crossed his mind. You… and him… but you were…

He was trying to grasp words to say, anything at all but they escaped him. He was completely thrown off guard, and his heart felt like it was coming up his throat. His hands dropped to the table, too heavy now to lift. His eyes drifted from the picture frame clutched between his fingers and your hand sitting inches away.

Inches.

You were still speaking, “I kept putting off giving it to you for some reason. But it will be so busy at the train station, and I didn’t want to-”

“You could stay, you know.”

The thread had snapped, the words bursting from him before he’d even registered them- and coming out more choked than he’d intended. You met Chan’s gaze, and he could see the warring of your mind before you slowly shook your head. 

“I can’t.”

“Why not?” 

“I don’t know, Chan. I feel crowded if I stay here too long. Like I can’t breathe right, like… like I’m trapped.”

He didn’t understand. He knew you cared for him, knew you might even share a fraction of the adoration he had for you. Why wouldn’t you even try?

“I’m not like you, Chan.” You added softly, tracing your index finger absentmindedly against your mug. Maybe to avoid looking at him. “I could never be content with a simple life. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with one, just… I would hate it. I would grow to despise this place, and I’m afraid I might begin to despise you with it.”

“I don’t believe that.” Chan whispered- mostly because he didn’t want to.

You smiled a bit at that, and looked up at him with sad, soulful eyes. “Would you be happy, then, to leave? To come along with me instead?”

He hated the way his eyes burned with the beginnings of tears. And he really hated that you both knew the answer.

“I know.” You whispered, turning away to gaze at the vibrant trees outside. Raindrops slipped from the colourful leaves and splashed into tiny puddles forming along the sidewalk. “That’s why I won’t ask it of you.” After a pause, you said. “It’s a dream, Chan, nothing more.”

“Then why do you keep coming back?”

He caught the smallest tug of your teeth on your bottom lip, before you turned back to him. “Because I liked this dream. Maybe even loved it.”

He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t bear this anymore. The distance had used to excite him in a way, as it kept him on his toes waiting for you- but now it just hurt. He wanted you close and then closer- and then some.

“Just… think about it.” He pleaded, unable to stop himself from reaching out to take your hand. The coolness of your skin sent a rush through his body.

Surprisingly, you didn’t pull away; instead you squeezed his hand, pausing before letting it fall. “See you tomorrow.”

You stood and left the shop; Chan gripped the framed photo long after you’d disappeared from view.

…

The train came too soon.

The packed station made it difficult for Chan and Felix to push their way through. In the meantime, Chan had plenty to think about. To fret about. He played with the sleeves of his jacket. His head was spinning, and he stumbled over the feet of a few passersby.

“Chan?” Felix was watching, confusion arching his brows. “Are you alright?” 

Chan shook his head in response. “Come on, we need to hurry.”

It was ten minutes until the train left when, at last, Felix spotted you over the crowd. Chan hung back, a murky gray cloud of dread hanging over his head as Felix said his goodbyes, insisting you call him and visit. Your smile, for some reason, seemed sadder today- especially when it was directed at Chan. He took a deep breath while Felix waited a distance away, and approached you.

It only took your eyes finding his own for the lump to swell in his throat and his eyes to burn as he tried to figure out what to say. Gosh, it had never been this difficult to say farewell. 

“Chan-” You gently lifted Chan’s face with your left palm, making him face you. He saw you smile through the blurriness of sudden tears, biting his lip as he desperately tried to halt them. But all he could think about was how unfair this was, and how much he’d missed you. Because he always did, and it hurt more each time he said goodbye.

“Chan?”

“Hmm?” He managed, swallowing roughly. “Y/n?”

You hesitated for a moment, before taking his hand with your free one. “I’m sorry.” You whispered. “I am. I don’t know, I just… I mean, you’re just perfect…”

“Just not for you, huh?” Chan murmured, clutching your hand like a tight grip could prevent your inevitable departure. Like your grip on his heart could somehow keep you together.

This time you bowed your head, and Chan thought he saw a tiny splinter- a crack in your gaze- before you looked back at him again. “Yeah. I guess so.”

Why not?

He hugged you tightly, afraid of letting go. You had the sense to do so first.

No tearful goodbye; it never was that way with you. Just a forlorn smile and a wave of your hand through the window before you were gone.

But you would come back, Chan assured himself, because you always did. Like the cycle of the seasons, you would return to him soon enough.

But you didn’t this time. You didn’t come back.

Weeks dissolved into months, and months turned into a year. His hope slowly faded into worry and distress at your disappearance, and then a solemn acceptance. That goodbye had been your last; even more he knew it in his heart that you didn’t intend to return.

In hindsight, he couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen it coming. And he blamed himself for it, despite Felix’s assurance that it wasn’t his fault. After all, if he hadn’t pressured you to stay, maybe you’d continue to come and go as you always had. It had been his careless advances that had chased you away, and he’d been foolish to wish for you to remain within arms reach. It would have hurt for you to never find content in staying with him- but he swore it hurt a thousand times more to think that he might never see you again.

He wondered, though, if he could have borne it. Seeing you for brief pockets of time, all while knowing you would leave him again eventually. He tried to imagine it; find a scenario where both of you could be happy and be together. But… how?

Maybe it was for the best, then. If he couldn’t make you happy, it was selfish for him to expect anything from you.

Still… he missed you.

God, he missed you.

It was over two years before he heard anything from you. A mutual friend, Jisung, had run into you in Orlando. The meetup had been quickly relayed to Chan, who jumped at any information of your well-being. And as it turned out, you were doing well. Free and tied down to nothing, you were doing what you loved- exploring the world, finding your next adventure in the great unknown.

And Chan knew that it was the right path for you- even if it hurt to admit. And even if it was hard to be happy for you when he couldn’t seem to let you go himself.

Because everywhere he went, he saw you. Saw what you were, and what you might have been. You lived in his head now that you weren’t here, and he wondered if you would always stay there as his biggest what if? Even more, he wondered if you ever thought about him too.

Chan thought of you for the umpteenth time that week as he stood in a heavy drizzle, an umbrella keeping his body dry as he waited for his bus. Evening was approaching quickly, the sky darkening at an alarming rate. Brightly coloured leaves were tossed in the wind, skittering over the wet pavement. Chan stood perfectly still, listening to the steady rhythm of the rain. Pitter patter. Pitter patter.

Eventually he let his umbrella fall back; his eyes turned to the sky before closing as the first droplets of rain fell onto his face. He inhaled deeply, the rich smell of the damp leaves making him smile- even if a little wistfully.

The rain felt a little colder this year, didn't it?

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

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[purplefangirl42]

Three Goodbyes

Summary: Three times you said hello to Viktor, and three times you had to say goodbye.

Pairing: Viktor/Reader (GN)

A/N: This is a birthday gift for my friend @writingmysanity. My first and likely only time writing for Viktor, as I'm mostly a Silco girlie. Many thanks to @deny-the-issue for beta-reading!

Tags/Warnings: Angst, Pining, Acceptance

AO3 Link Divider by firefly-graphics

There were three times you had to say goodbye to Viktor, each time hurting more than the one before. Even with this pain, the joyous memory of your hello upon reuniting could never be tainted.

The first time you met him, you were both small children. He always sat on the sidelines, observing everything that happened around him rather than participating with the other children. It confused you at first until you gathered the courage to talk to him one day and discovered the truth. He almost seemed unbothered by the fact that he was viewed as different, telling you that he had accepted it long ago and since there was nothing he could do to change it, he chose to go along with the cards dealt to him by fate.

That mindset stood out to you and you decided on that day that you would forever cherish him as a friend, even if no one else would. The two of you spent many days together, Viktor explaining new things he had discovered in his observations of the world and you listening intently. Even when things kept you apart for longer periods of time, each time you found each other again, it was almost as if no time had passed at all. 

As you got older, you felt yourself drawn to the company of others more often. This unfortunately took you away from your time with Viktor. Even though he insisted that he didn’t mind, you could see a glimmer of pain hidden behind his eyes that you knew was not caused by any physical pain. It touched you deep in your heart, and you vowed to yourself that you would make an effort to carve out time for him. However, there came a time when it wasn’t you that no longer had time for your friendship.

During one of the last times you saw him as a child, Viktor ranted for a long time about the brilliant scientist he had met and the wonderful things he was learning. You were glad that he had something to occupy his time and the light that was shining in his eyes was worth the lack of quality time spent together.

The longer you went without seeing him, however, the stronger the pain in your heart. It had been nice to have him to yourself, even if that chain of thought seemed selfish. Thinking as a small child, you grew to resent him for having something that seemed ‘better’ than your company in his life. After enough time, you stopped making an effort. You no longer showed up at your regular meeting places. You no longer sought him out in the faces you came across. He had moved on without you and you decided to let him.

It was many years before you saw Viktor again. You had both grown and changed, but you knew him the moment you saw him. The spark of recognition in his eyes followed by the soft smile he gave you made your heart twinge with regret over how things had pulled you apart before. He seemed truly happy to see you.

He told you of how things had ended on a bad note with the scientist he had been associating with, but his love for science had not dwindled. He had been studying on his own, learning new things every day. The passion behind the way he talked about things and the eagerness to share it with you made you feel like you could feel the way you had as a child, as if the time apart had never happened. As if nothing had changed.

Things had changed, however. You were both blooming into different people, with different desires. Viktor wanted to continue his studies and move onto better things. You wanted to build a life together. In the time since you had reunited, you had learned to love him in a different way than you had as a child. While you hoped the feeling was mutual, you didn’t have the courage to pursue it. Every time he mentioned his plans to get away from this life and go Topside, you felt that selfish feeling creep into your heart once again. You didn’t want to share him.

The day Viktor got his acceptance to go to school topside, you tried your very best to be happy for him. You still hadn’t told him about your feelings, and now it seemed like you would never get the chance. Putting on a brave face, you congratulated him and helped him get ready to depart. The selfishness in your heart was overpowered by the love you had for him, wanting him to get what he wanted and to live a better life. If it had to be without you, so be it. You were ready to let him go again.

He bid you goodbye at the Undercity side of the bridge, giving you a gentle kiss on the cheek before slowly making his way to the other side. You watched from a distance as he disappeared, onto better things and a brighter future. Even though you had resolved to let him go, it still hurt much more than the last time he left your life. You hoped you would see him again, even if it came with the possibility of repeating that loss.

Too many years passed before you saw Viktor again. You had seen too much pain and suffering in that time and had decided to go through life alone. No lover, no friends, no family. Every day that passed, you remembered Viktor. His smile when he would discover something new, the way his eyes lit up when he shared it with you, or how his accent somehow got stronger the more excited he got about the knowledge he possessed. 

One day while musing over your memories of him, you caught a glimpse of someone hobbling down the street at a slow pace. While it wasn’t unusual for people to walk with a cane in the Undercity, something struck you as familiar when it came to this person. As they got closer, you realized who it was that was walking toward you. It was Viktor. 

You weren’t prepared for the swell of emotion that washed over you, both love and grief mixing together. You moved in the direction of the figure, calling out his name. He flinched away at first but once he realized who you were, he relaxed. Once you were able to see him up close, you felt a very different emotion build inside you, sadness.

Viktor looked unwell. The light had disappeared from his eyes, his face was haggard and thin, and something about him seemed unsteady. You had never seen Viktor as weak, admiring his perseverance in the face of what life had thrown at him. But, you could not call to mind any other word to describe his current state of being. Despite living Topside for so many years, it seemed he could not fully escape the effects of life in the Undercity.

You tried to ask how things were, questioning why he was down here instead of up at his fancy school. He dodged your questions, saying that he was on a mission and didn’t have time to talk. The pain must have shown in your expression, as he halted mid-sentence and gave you a half-hearted smile. He promised that once he had the resources and was feeling better, he would do everything he could to see you again. You simply nodded and pushed down the flicker of hope that ignited in your heart, trying to extinguish it before it grew into something that would only burn you.

Once again you watched him walk away, heading in the direction of where you knew that scientist he used to work with lived. While you hadn’t interacted with the man yourself, you had only heard bad things about him. Concern built within you, but you shook your head and walked away. Viktor knew what he was doing, he was smart. It wasn’t really any concern of yours anyways.

Despite your resolution to leave him to his own fate, you still found yourself camped out near the bridge. You wanted to be there when he crossed back over, wanted to make sure you got that last goodbye. There was some upheaval in regards to the bridge, access being closed and not allowing people to cross over, but you paid it no attention. Viktor was your only concern.

Eventually, you saw him approaching. He seemed in slightly better spirits, as if he had found something that would help his current state. Knowing what went on in the darker parts of the Undercity, you had a feeling that his solution couldn’t stem from anything good. However, the previous sentiment echoed in your mind. 

Viktor knew what he was doing.

You waved him down when he got close to you, calling out his name. He stopped at your side, leaning against the wall beside you. Not wanting to broach the subject of having to say goodbye again, you gestured to the chaos behind you on the bridge. Viktor seemed unconcerned, saying he would have no trouble getting across. Quickly, the subject was dismissed and you were left to sit in silence. 

Repeating his previous statement of not having time to talk and having important things to do, Viktor pushed off the wall to leave your side. He wobbled slightly, unsteady in his weakened state but quickly righted himself. Repeating his promise to see you again in the future, he reached out and lightly touched your hand.

You felt the words bubbling up inside you, a mixture of things you wanted to say but never could. Asking him not to leave, telling him of your feelings, pleading with him to take you with him. All you allowed to pass, however, was a goodbye. You waved at him as he turned and walked into the waiting crowd gathered on the bridge. 

You didn’t wait to watch him disappear like you had before, this hurt bad enough. If you had to look at him for much longer, you would have to fight the urge to go after him. You wouldn’t be able to fight that selfish feeling again. 

Deep in your heart, you knew there wouldn’t be another hello associated with a reunion. Even if he found a way to help with what ailed him, he was far too busy for the likes of you. Part of you wished that you had never reunited after the first goodbye, that you had never learned to love him again. He would just have been a distant childhood memory, not a constant source of pain.

You thought back to that little boy, sitting alone by the water, and wondered if Viktor himself ever thought about that time. About the person that came to sit at his side when he was thinking, listening to every word he said as if they were precious life-saving tidbits. You figured you would never know and decided that you had to be okay with that. 

No more hellos meant no more goodbyes. Three was more than enough.

A/N: Give this a like, comment, and reblog and let me know what you think!

[the-dawn-star]

ooohh you're open! Would it be alright to request a very angsty and fluffy Aro x sister reader. When they were still humans, Aro, Didyme, and reader were very close (They practically raised her) tho reader has a huge age gap between her siblings. Can you do a reunited fic? Like Aro and Didyme thought reader was killed when they were human. Aro and reader reunited at the final battle with the Cullens. Reader never knew Aro was still alive (idk how it can be up to you) so when they saw eachother it was unbelievable. Let's just say that reader looks similarly to Didyme so angst ensues for Marcus baby (Can also be Marcus x reader). Reader looking for her dear older sister only to be told she's dead. I know it's a lot so I'll understand if you can't do it or would like to change the plot a bit.

A/N: Hello and thanks for the req, I loved writing this! The twilight wiki was my best friend while writing this, so all the historical content was got from there. I changed your idea a bit (Aro turned reader). Also let’s ignore that Edward and Aro can read minds and Carlisle spent time with the Volturi coven. This has a lot of back story but I think it is cool to know just the debts of vampire mourning.

-S 

PSA: I don’t remember much from breaking dawn part 2 so the battle is inaccurate.  

TW: Talk of kidnapping, murder, vampire fuckery, family dying, starvation, a mention of Refrigerator (Renesmee for the uncultured), I feel like Aro always needs his own warning so, Aro.

1000ish words (this turned out to be a lot longer than usual hcs for me).

You were a child when Aro and Didyme were turned, and with your parents dead your siblings started to take care of you.  

Aro acted like you were his own child while raising you and protected you from anything that could cause any harm to your still human body.  

Didyme sang you to sleep for years and pushed all suitors away from you when you got a bit older.  

Aro turned you when you were about 20, and with a small disappointment he realized that you didn’t own any special abilities. Aro once had a massive rant that how someone as amazing as you, didn’t have any powers.  

You lived with your siblings for a long time and your coven got bigger and bigger while all the members got fiercely protective of you.  

But all took a turn for the worse when you were taken by some angry vampires, leaving your whole coven to believe that you were dead.  

Your captors told you that your coven was murdered by them. 

When you got out from the vampires, going back to Greece was too painful. So, you started to travel as far away as you could trying to find some happiness in your life without any of your family.  

For a long time, you didn’t talk to anyone and avoided all contact, leaving your house only to hunt. 

That was the time when you started to drink less and less, building such a good tolerance that your black eyes or sandpaper-like throat didn’t bother you. 

 ~~~  

But time forces you to heal.  

In the 1900s you found a friend in New York, a lovely girl called Rosalie. It was nice, so human and the girl was so genuine with you.  

Rosalie disappeared from my life for a moment, then you walked in on her drinking from a rabbit and having the yellow eyes you had seen once or twice in your life.  

You spent a few years with Rosalie, Carlisle and Edward, but never joined their coven, you lost yours already and no time could heal it.  

But you were their friend staying with them from time to time and disappearing when it started to feel like you were replacing your old family.  

~~~ 

Rosalie called you first telling of the mess that was starting to unravel in America and you were on the first flight to Forks, after you hung up.  

You didn’t talk to any other vampires and stayed hidden, so you had no understanding of vampire law. After all the so-called kings were most likely younger than you so why should you listen to them.  

You stayed mostly alone while the others were talking of strategy with the other vampires all around the world.  

They were fighting for their family... something that you couldn’t do all that time ago.  

~~~ 

You stood at the edge of the field, back behind all the other vampires.  

You had barely fought anyone in your life, even if your age had brought you strength. But the Cullens had promised that this wouldn’t turn into a fight.  

Then a massive group of vampires appeared to the other side of the field.  

You couldn’t concentrate on looking at any of them, instead focusing on the snowy ground. You were there as a number and silent, and for you it was just fine.  

You hear Edward talking to one of them, only to hear the sound of a ghost... The sound of your lovely brother’s voice, Aro. 

You raised your head, looking around from the surprise. Were you really going mad, right now? 

You took a good look at the royal coven only to see ghosts all over it.  

Your feet started to move before you could stop them. You walked through the crowd of vampires stopping when you reached the Cullens at the front.  

Still your coven was there.  

You made eye contact with the ghost of Marcus. 

“Didyme?” It was a small whisper from him, but it got everyone's attention and slowly people turned to look at you, the one who got Marcus’s attention so completely.  

You always joked how you and your sister looked so similar even when you were just a human child.  

The ghost of your brother turned to look at you before slowly saying your name like a small prayer.  

Is this really just ghosts and are you going insane? Were they really there? 

“Brother?” You said, taking a step forward.  

“Sister?” Aro said, and you could only nod and straighten your hand as an invite for your brother's powers.  

Your brother was in front of you in a second and his hands were pressed to your cheeks, forcing you to look at him while looking at your memories. 

When your brother had enough of your memories, he pulled you to a hug that you had missed for centuries.  

“Brother, am I going mad” you asked in your native language that you hadn’t spoken for so long.  

Brother pulled back from the embrace. “No, my little sister, you just have been lost from me for too long.”  

You turned to look at your brother's company seeing your old coven mixed with a lot of new people. But you couldn’t find your sister.  

“What has happened?” you asked, looking back to your brother.  

“We took down the old rulers and we became the new one. Our coven has been royalty for over a millennium now.”  

~~~ 

The rest of the night went on in a haze. You couldn’t listen to any of the Cullens or the struggle of the immortal child. You just needed your brother.  

Your coven was in a private plain with you back to town in Italy, that was the capital of the vampire world apparently.  

You were glued to your brother’s side while you and your coven told you what happened after you disappeared.  

Aro and Marcus’s eyes were pooled with venom while Caius was silent but clearly as emotional as his friends.  

No one had mentioned Didyme the whole time and in your heart, you knew why, you just weren’t strong enough to get the confirmation. But you needed to know what happened, who took your sister away from you.  

“Big brother?” You asked in your mother tongue, getting Aro’s attention. 

“Yes?”  

“What happened to her?” You asked, afraid to get the answer.  

“She was attacked and killed a long time ago, but fear not she has been looking after you this whole time. And now she cries tears of joy after seeing us together at last.”  

[soapyghostie]

Hello in case you didn't wanna write the other one could I request choptop and/or Nubbins with a shy reader who lives art and drawing??? I always draw them in my sketchbook ahaha

Thank you xx

🎨

Hey! I’m sorry about your other request. I didn’t feel comfortable writing it. However, I did this one! 🙂 Although, I couldn’t come up with much, but hope you like what I could muster up.

Choptop Sawyer

You love to draw? Draw him! He’ll persistently bug you. What no better way to make beautiful art than to draw him because he’s absolutely magnificent. He’ll frame the drawing in his bedroom. It’s so realistic that it almost looks like a photo! Now he can show off, not only his music, but your amazing, and handsome, drawing of him. 

He likes to speed flip through all your sketchbooks. I don’t actually think he looks at them because he goes through each of them within minutes: you have like a million sketch books. Again, it’s Choptop so you never know with him. Then again, he may be actually looking at them. I guess we’ll never know. 🤷‍♀️ 

He’ll steal drawings out of your sketchbook, without you knowing, for keepsake. He’ll keep them hidden so if you do recognize they’re gone, Choptop can just play dumb. He doesn’t want to give them back; you just make amazing art work and he has to have a drawing or two to admire. 🥺 

Do you need inspiration? He got you covered! Music is a pretty good inspiration right? Well, Choptop has plenty of different genres that he can play on his record player! For your information, he just says that, but he only has rock music. Hope you like rock. Anyways, He likes to play his music loud when you draw; Drayton never lets him so he likes to think it’s an exception to be able to play it loud.

Nubbins Sawyer

When you tell Nubbins you like art, he gets excited. He loves art too! Yeah… he shows you blurry photos of roadkill and talks about where, when and how he found it. For reals, remembers every specific detail about each individual picture. It’s weird, but it’s Nubbins. Just let him rant. 

Nubbins comes up with the idea of collabing. He’ll go out, take pictures and then come back to give them to you so you can draw them. It’s brilliant! He just really wants you to draw his roadkill; he worships your drawings more than his photographs. He’d rather carry around something you’ve created to show off, when hitchhiking, so he can brag about how talented his significant other is. 

He’s gone into your studio without your permission and painted on your blank canvases before. You’d probably let him paint again if it wasn’t for the fact he used animal blood as his choice of paint. 🤢 You’re studio smelled of iron and death after that and never again. 

Nubbins likes it when you sit down with him and go through your sketchbooks. He asks a lot of questions, more than an art student would at an art museum. It’s overwhelming because it’s just one question and then the next: he sometimes even interrupts his own question to ask another one. At least he’s interested though.

[jesslovesboats]

Hello! I'm currently reading Empire of Ice and Stone but was wondering if you had any other book recommendations for the Karluk? Or honestly your favorite books or documentaries about any ships? Thank you so much!

HELLO BELOVED! I'm so glad you're reading about my terrible sons on the Karluk. My two favorite books on the subject are Empire, which you're reading, and The Ice Master by Jennifer Niven. They are both great overviews of the expedition as a whole. I also recommend The Last Voyage of the Karluk by William Laird McKinlay and The Karluk's Last Voyage by Captain Bob Bartlett. They're first hand narratives, so they lack the broad scope of a more general history, but they're both excellent. If you're interested in something shorter, Fred Maurer wrote a series of articles about his experiences for World Magazine, and I can hook you up if you'd like to read them. I do not recommend Vilhjalmur Stefansson's book The Friendly Arctic unless you're looking for something large and heavy to throw against the wall in the hope of making a big hole. He's the absolute worst.

There are some Karluk documentaries out there, and my favorite that is currently available on YouTube can be found here and here! I also have the rescue footage and can hook you up with that as well 😊

Aside from Karluk, I have 2 other favorite ships/expeditions. First up is the British Antarctic Expedition/Terra Nova. There are a lot of incredible books and movies about and inspired by this expedition (including my friend Sarah's, which you should buy and read immediately!), but we would be here all day if I listed them all. To keep things simple, I'll recommend A First Rate Tragedy by Diana Preston as a great starting point. Also, you can watch Herbert Ponting's film The Great White Silence, featuring actual footage of the expedition, free on YouTube!

My other favorite expedition is the Ross Sea Party, which traveled on the Aurora to provide support for the Endurance crew as they attempted to cross the Antarctic continent. Things did not go as planned, and it's an incredibly tragic story (and also why I get pissy when people say that Shackleton never lost a man, but that's a rant for another day!)

The definitive book on the RSP is The Lost Men by Kelly Tyler-Lewis. I am not aware of any great documentaries about them, but I can tell you that if you want to see rescue footage of them, you should check out the bluray of the film South, which features Frank Hurley's footage of the Endurance. Hidden in the bonus features, deep in a sea of menus, you'll find nine minutes of never before seen footage, with a voiceover by Kelly Tyler-Lewis. South is 100% worth your time, but if you're only interested in the RSP footage, I can hook you up with that as well.

I hope this answers your question! Please let me know if you're interested in any resources, or if I can help with anything else. Thank you for a very fun ask, I've had a pretty rough go of it this week and I've been looking forward to coming home and answering this all day! ❤️

[moonlight-tmd]

Hello And Welcome To This Disaster! My name is Moonlight and I'll be your host for this blog.

Here is some things you should know about me: (this post will be updated as time goes on)

My AO3 account where you'll find good quality ship fanfics.

If you're interested, I have cheap commissions open. Most of the comms are posted on my Instagram but if it's ship art that I like I might post it on this blog too.

For other personal content, visit my Youtube Channel or Twitch. It ain't much but it's honest work. <3

Here's what you can find on this blog:

Private Corner. The stuff that's not really related to anything specific. > Arts I posted on the blog over time. (#moon derg art) > Random posts I found cool or me ranting. (#moon derg rambles) > Stuff other folks did for me. (#special repost)

Transformers Animated content. (haven't watched the show but I'm writing anyway) The tags #tfa shenanigans and #tfa headcanons on this blog are all about things that have happened in my version of TFA. (!) All of headcanons for my works are here. Please read the linked posts in that post, it's very important. My comfort character is Bumblebee so there's a lot of content about this fella here. (#tfa bumblebee) All NSFW posts are under the tag #naughty tag! All fanfics that I wrote are under the tag #tfa fanfic!

Shipping, the romantic kind. My current ships are: > BlitzBee (TFA) (OTP) > ProwlBee (TFA) > ShockBee (TFA)

TFA AUs. Posts related to any of the AUs are tagged #tfa au. The appropriate tags are written next to the AU name: > Dadimus Prime AU - Optimus as Bee's dad (#dadimus prime au) > Cyberbeast AU - mythical creatures hidden in plain sight. (#cyberbeast au) > Warframe!Bumblebee AU (#warframe!bumblebee au) > Part-Insecticon!Bumblebee AU (#part-insecticon!bumblebee au) > Cons Are Good AU (#cons are good au) > Crack AU - which is every crack headcanon thrown in one jar (#crack au) > Civil!Blitzwing AU (#civil!blitzwing au) > AU where Bee dies and Prowl get depressed until Bee is resurrected by Blackarachnia (no actual name)(#revival!prowlbee) > God-Sparkling AU - aka Unicron and Primus as Bee's parents (#god-sparkling au) > Electro Bee AU - basically Bee being able to manipulate electricity like Blitzwing does with Ice/Fire. (#electro bee au) > Sparkeater!Bumblebee AU - disease that turns anybot into a Sparkeater over time. Bee is one of few that has it and survived. (#sparkeater!bumblebee au) > Celestial!Bee AU - basically Bee is one of many lesser gods that have been forgotten by mortals. (#celestial!bee au) Ships: Mainly or Only BlitzBee / ProwlBee / ShockBee / Open to any ship/not assigned

Game section. Posts about games I play: > Star Stable Online (#sso , #ssoblr) > The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim (#skyrim)

Thank you for reading. All of the tags mentioned are below. (this post will be updated as more things come into the blog)

[kal-sharok]

Hi!! If you’re willing to talk about it/up for it I’d love to hear more about the slavophobia BioWare has in relation to their dwarves. No pressure at all of course bc I’m sure it’s taxing, I’ve just not seen this before and would love a resource to reblog about it if that’s okay. Thank you love your blog ❤️

hello! im actually glad you asked, i'll try to be as coherent as possible 😅 and no u i love yr blog!!

i'd like to preface by saying i don't think bioware invented anti-slavic sentiment in games or in general and isn't the only company, game or otherwise, perpetuating it. it's found all over the western world, most notably in western europe (where we're still regarded as 2nd class citizens, pairs really well with imperialism towards people outside of europe imo), but it also gained a significant boost thanks to the red scare in usa in particular (and continues to thrive thanks to the absolute chokehold mediocre american media keeps everything else in the world in).

im also no social sciences expert, but i do have first-hand experience on the short end of the stick and a couple of books in my have read list so let's say im qualified to rant on 🤭 it turned out quite lengthy so i've hidden it under the cut below!

when it comes to bioware, the first hurdle is already at their utterly haphazard character naming policy. there's a considerable number of dwarves who bear names that range from mockingly slavic-esque to full-blooded backwater serbian, now in yr local fantasy rpg! examples:

gorim saelac. while i do appreciate they tried to give a dwarf a mountain-y name (gora is basically any kind of steep pile of rocks with trees and dew and wildlife over it), "gorim" is how you would say "i am burning" in multiple slavic languages. this is one of the rare ones that are not hurtful and are hilarious instead (and tbh naming him goran, which is what i assumed they were going for, would probably be more ridiculous in the long run. for example i still can't take jowan seriously despite my love for the mage origin bc someone really yassified jovan and thought nobody would notice. wrong!)

lucjan and myaja. these two (along with maybe wojech "we couldn't spell wojciech" ivo) are the classic example of non-slavs butchering the hell out of slavic names bc it suits them better, which is also something commonly experienced by all non-western cultures and communities and a worldwide sign of disrespect. the in-game pronunciation during the provings gave me a physical rash. "myaja" in particular is still in my top 5 wtf moments in origins bc 1) what kind of stroke induced spelling is that 2) it reminds me of kids speaking dialect A mocking kids' dialects B by adding y sounds (which is what set the dialects apart in the first place) at unnatural spots and 3) maja /ma-ya/ would've sufficed perfectly for ethnic coding if that was the sole purpose of her character. do better! sure it was 2009 but from the little i happen to know about the world beyond the atlantic, you're just bound to run into someone of slavic descent in alberta (maybe not exactly polish but anyone would give you a closer phonetics match than... this). it's kind of amusing how 3 of bioware's founders have very slavic surnames and this keeps happening.

bogdan vasca. we don't know anything about him apart from the fact bianca davri was forced into a marriage with him and that his very dwarven parents considered him to be 'a gift from the god' (which is what his name means. theodore would be an equivalent) when naming him. the same clan of dwarves that preserved castes topside (which is why the marriage was arranged) and thus are likely to either believe in the stone (that they do not worship as a god) or nothing, certainly not a very human god with a very human, quite possibly mage (a completely alien concept from common dwarven pov) prophetess and a very human doctrine of considering anyone not human as lesser. the jokes are writing themselves at this point.

all of this naming business falls more into petty territory rather than being outright offensive, but it does bring us to the more serious manifestation — typecasting. the western media simply cannot fathom slavic people in roles that are not violent, volatile (i.e. berserkers, though there are other influences in there), constantly infighting and better off killing e/o (i.e. the diamond quarter, the merchants' guild, the carta) and relating back to thievery, addictive abusable substances and trafficking (i.e. the carta, but also official channels of lyrium supply from orzammar to the rest of thedas). as a slavic woman, it was exceptionally painful to see bioware join virtually everyone else in depicting us as women whose major purpose seems to be to engage in prostitution and surrogacy lite (i.e. noble hunters, most evident in beraht's grooming of rica brosca into the role of one). while these practices are tied to societies of woman-hating — and orzammar, if not all of thedas very much is one — i just take incredible offence in someone naming them integral (dwarven birth rates and the blight anyone?? i hated every moment of that) for a society that's previously been coded with people like myself in mind. of course im going to relate to how someone who looks like me is treated, that's the very purpose of casting. doesn't help bioware's cause that the bulk of npc's with slavic names tend to be lower-caste or castless - with exceptions such as some minor noble houses (houses ivo and harrowmont, possibly meino too) and branka (who's again smith-born and a whole villain).

by only allowing us to fulfill such roles, we are effectively barred from actually engaging storytelling to spend our eternity on the writers' back-burner. hell, even the witcher has been sanitized for the western eye (despite literally being made in poland) and i am yet to find a piece of modern media that doesn't reduce baba yaga to a quirky chicken-legged aesthetic (while also forgetting she's specific to the eastern slavic people). not to mention that if tevinter and par vollen are truly inspired by byzantine and the ottoman empire respectively, guess which mfs were both their vasals. now guess who built the deep roads and guess what tevene mages need to fuel their magic. if dwarves have already been declared the slavs of thedas, let's at least give them/us some space to be such.

[mod-kyoko]

Hello! Id like to make another request! So this one is not exactly nsfw in the general sense, but does involve link, although it does seem thats alright on this blog

Would it be possible to make hcs or a story (both are completely alright) with the scenario where gender-neutral reader meets Gundham Tanaka, and it starts off with fearplay vibes before becoming fluff later? (Reader starts off intimidated/scared of Gundham, but warms up to him)

Thank you a lot for reading and potentially considering this! Its alright if youd prefer nto to write it of course too!

gundham tanaka w/ reader that's scared of him (then warms up to him)

info: gn!reader, kinda nsfw?, fearplay kink, reader is DOWN BAD

type: hc format, in neo world program

a/n: I had no idea what to even call this ask lmfao, I love this funky nerdy DND soundin' ass mfker

⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡

waking up on this strange island, meeting the oddball of characters made you stand out if anything

still you made introductions around the island, everyone seemed like fun people... even hiyoko and fuyuhiko weren't as scary as they should be. but that might just be because they were short..

you last stop was the... ranch? why was there a ranch on an island?

ignoring the strange logic you noticed a boy you hadn't met before

...

he looked like dracula's son

now, you weren't one to judge another by the cover, even with nekomaru large size and ibuki's punky attire you didn't judge base off looks

but with him... you felt nervous to even approach him, his mere aura made a tight cramp form in your stomach and you face felt hot

was that a scar over his eye?!

and his arm is bandaged... was he a dangerous person?

you approached him cautiously, he seemed to be in thought and didn't notice you until you spoke up

"h-hi... I'm-"

"fuhahaha! do you wish to know my name?"

"uhm.. I didn't say-"

"very well, you may be graced by the Lord of Ice himself; listen well for I am GUNDHAM TANAKA! supreme overlord of ice and destroyer of worlds! cower in fear at my power!"

you were doing just that

even though it sounded ridiculous to hear it from a human being's mouth, somehow you felt like he was really a 'destroyer of worlds' from how he presented himself

you stood there with wide eyes, you had to admit that you were actually afraid of him... more so than the other students on this island

he chuckled and crossed his arms, leering at you

"well, mortal? are you truly speechless at the supreme form of the dark lord? my all-seeing eyes see your shaking form!"

indeed, you were shaking in your shoes and you tried to hide it by saying that it was just cold although he went on a rant that his title of 'lord as ice' gives such an aura

whilst he was rambling, your eyes looked him over

he seemed pretty fit and your eyes admittedly stare at his chest, your face couldn't help but heat up

this was weird... you were scared and intimidated by him, yet you found his appearance and demeanour very attractive

supreme overlord of ice... you wondered if you could be his loyal minion and to follow his every beck and call

whilst staring, you noticed his scarf was moving around and your gasp got his attention

"kehehehe...how lucky of a mortal you are that my four dark devas of destruction are not hungry, for as they are violent as they look..."

he pulled at his scarf and... four little hamsters scurried around him

gundham told you their names, adding dramatic flair to each one of them

however, you were mainly focused on how cute they were! you couldn't help but pet one of them much to gundham's surprise

"they are so... terrifyingly cute!"

gundham began to blush and hide part of his face into his scarf

"hm... it seems you have an affinity with even my dark devas... they would not usually allow mortals to touch them. perhaps you have a hidden dark power not even yourself know."

you had absolutely no idea what he was talking about but it intrigued you regardless, still petting his little hamsters

that was when you were made aware of his talent as an ultimate 'breeder'... so he works with animals? huh...

maybe you were quick to judge his character, even if he is still kind of... scary, he must have a heart of gold to love animals this much

you walked back with gundham to the hotel whilst he went on and on about demons and... deities, something like that. you just stared at him for the rest of the way

⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡

-Mod Kirumi

[cybrsan]

Hello, I want to join your 100 followers ask/prompts game. Congratulations on your 100 followers! 🥳👏🏼

Can I request for an angst drabble please? The numbers that I chose is 25, 29, 34. The Ateez member is Jongho. Because we need more angst Jongho.

Thank you! 🤎🫶🏼

Thank you so much! And thank you for requesting <3

Prompts: 25. “It hurts…” “What?” “Loving someone who doesn’t love you…” + 29. "Just because you can doesn’t mean you should." + 34. "Why are you so cold?" Pairing: Best Friend!Jongho x F!Reader Genre: Angst Word Count: <1kTags/warnings: Hidden feelings, miscommunication

Rules for requesting can be found here and my masterlist can be found here.

You sigh and toss your phone aside, collapsing back against the couch cushions. What is wrong with men these days? Does no one know how to hold a proper conversation anymore? All you want is someone who understands you and at least pretends to be interested in what you have to say. But, apparently, asking for a guy who doesn’t blabber on and on about himself for hours is too much. 

You look over to Jongho, your best friend, who is currently sprawled out on the extended part of the couch and watching his new drama of choice. You wait a moment, expecting him to ask about what’s bothering you, but he never even looks away from the screen. You sigh again, more dramatically this time. Finally, he gives in with a roll of his eyes and pauses his show. 

“What is it this time? That Yeonjun guy boring you already?” 

Happy he’s indulging you, you grin and move closer to him, positioning yourself so that your head is on his lap. His fingers immediately find your hair, playing with it as you rant. 

“Yes! I am so tired of the guys on these dating apps; either they have no personality or are totally obsessed with themselves. I should just give up and go hook up with someone.” 

“Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. I thought you swore off meaningless sex because you finally wanted a real relationship?” 

“Ugh, don’t remind me.” You look up at him through your lashes and pout. “Maybe I’m just not meant for love. What’s all the hype for anyway? Most of the time, it just ends up with someone’s heart being broken.” 

Jongho pretends to shiver. “Is your heart made of ice or something? Why are you so cold?”

You scoff and swat at his chest. “Hey, I’m not that bad. But, seriously, is it even worth it? Love and all that?”

“I don’t know,” Jongho muses, letting your hair drop from his fingers and just resting his hand atop your head. “It hurts.”

“What?” 

“Loving someone who doesn’t love you back. Love in general, I guess.”

You quirk an eyebrow. “Oh? And what would Mr. Chronically Single know about all of that?” 

He looks down at you, eyes dark with an emotion you can’t decipher. He almost looks… pained for some reason, and it makes your heart hurt. You instinctively go to reach out to him but, next thing you know, he smoothes out his expression and gently pushes you off of his lap.

“Forget it,” he says, pressing play on the remote. “I want to finish this episode.” 

“Oh. Right, sorry.” 

You return to the opposite side of the couch, curling in on yourself. The room suddenly feels suffocating, so you grab your phone again and make plans with a friend to go to a club. Jongho barely acknowledges you as you leave, and you can’t help but feel guilty without knowing why.

[v3nusxsky]

Could I please request a lady lesso X reader. R is hired as an English teacher cause after the merge they realised they should probably start teaching their students core subjects.

R is a complete nerd and will go on rants for hours about literature and their favourite books/poems however r has a very insecure side that nobody gets to see which has caused r to develop an eating disorder which has gone unchecked.

I'll let you have full creative freedom to figure out a romance plot for it so please feel free to absolutely destroy me emotionally with angst or make it as fluffy and soft to your hearts content :)

Hello my lovely anon. I hope this is okay for you and I apologise for the angst I broke my own heart writing this but it was a great release of a bad day <3

Words between the Pages

*Authors note~ I know I say this a lot here but I love this prompt, I feel like I really relate to R here. Also going to formally apologise here for what I'm about to do *

Trigger warnings ~ eating disorder relapsing not knowing what's happening to them angst angst character (hurt possible death ;)

Prompt~ see the ask^^^^

It had been a few years now, you had taken up the new English position at the school for good and evil. Since the merger they had decided it was time to introduce some core subjects that would benefit the students no matter what realm they entered. English was one of those. And you had a natural affinity for that.  Your favourite part of the subject was anything related to literature. Novels and poems were your source of comfort on those hard days. For you, they numbed the pain like alcohol or drugs for others. You even wrote some of your own work, to express anything that was chipping away at your fragile heart.

After a year at the school, you began to realise you had feelings for the fiery dean. Not something you had planned on, and you knew you'd have no hope. She alluded a sexy confidence in her every move. You, remained shy and introverted, preferring the company of books to other people. You weren't even sure she would've noticed you. But she had. She loved how you'd get flustered in her presence and forgot your train of thought. It wasn't an uncommon reaction in her presence but with you it was different. You were enticing and addicting without even trying.

You began to write poems of your thoughts and feelings on the women, in a little black note pad that seemed to be glued to your hand. Where ever you went so did the book. It was your most prized possession and something you truly didn't want anyone else to read, personal thoughts and feelings lay bare in the book. So that's why you panicked when you couldn't find the book. All your secrets, littered through the pages hidden by words there. All it would take is a sharp mind to read between the lines and your heart would be exposed. You had to find that book.

Unfortunately for you, one of the Never students had found it and brought it to their Dean. The one mind you knew was more than capable of understanding the meanings. But one good thing came out of it, the first poem was based on your feelings for Leonora Lesso, which stunned the women and prevented her reading any further. Actually that one poem is what began your relationship.

You'd been together for two years now, most of your secrets were out in the open air, but one remained. The deepest and darkest locked away safely in your heart. Lesso knew you were extremely insecure about your body, it was obvious to everyone really, the way you dressed, the way you stood or sat and even the nervous flash in your eyes as food was mentioned. But Lesso knew more than others, it had taken so long for you to be comfortable showing her your body, and the night you did you broke down in tears. That hurt her heart truly, you seemed so small and broken and all she could do is wonder what caused such a reaction from you and how she'd kill them. No one would get away with making her girl feel like her own body wasn't anywhere near perfection. You were. True perfection, if only you could see yourself through her eyes then maybe this could've all been prevented.

It was one fatal accident that exposed you. During archery classes a arrow came hurling in your direction, seemingly from absolutely no where. You weren't able to react quick enough due to the weakened state of your body, not eating well the past few months was seriously affecting you, only now would you truly know just how much damage you'd done.  The arrow hit a centre meter away from your right lung. The pain causing you to collapse on the hard surface below your feet. The fall and blood spilling from your body causing you to lose consciousness.

The pain was constant, unlike something you'd never felt before. You were in and out of consciousness due to the weakened state of your body and now the blood you were losing, you knew this wouldn't be good. The students around you panicking not knowing what to do, not wanting to touch you and make it worse. The fear of touching the Deans girlfriend battling the fear of not helping you. One of them must have ran to grab your girlfriend, as you came back around once more you felt her hand in your hair and her words being whispered in your ear. She was here.

"Dove, what on earth were you doing out here? We have a medic coming hold on for me. Don't leave me love. Open those pretty eyes for me, that's it good girl" she whispered the tears soaking her words as much as they were staining her cheeks. The drops were falling from her face onto your sunken in cheeks. "N-ora I, I'm sorry. I love you" you whispered out in broken sobs as you bled out through her hands that were tightly pressed over the wound. When had they taken the arrow out? You could feel the life slowly leaving your exhausted body.

"Dove, hold on please, you have the strength I know you do. Please! You can do this." She pleaded with you watching as your eyelids were fluttering shut "keep those pretty eyes on me love. Please. I love you don't leave me!" Her cries were breaking your heart. But in that shattering heart you knew this was not going to get any better, you were dying. Lesso screaming for medics as she felt your heart rate decrease dramatically. The beats dangerously spread apart now. You were dying. She was losing you. You both knew it too. The students seemingly turned to shield you from prying eyes, out of respect or fear you weren't quite sure but it gave you the chance for one last wish.

"Kiss me" you spluttered gasping for air, and she complied instantly. Your lips met hers as she poured every ounce of love she had in the kiss, tears spilling onto your closed eyes as more tears leaked from your eyes. Lesso pulled back for air noticing you weren't kissing her back any more and let out a gut wrenching scream. Her love, her life and future wife was gone.

Word count 1227

[agent-atlas]

What one thing in club penguin makes you irrationally angry?

Hello Penguins, Puffles, and those in-between or outside these binaries. I posed these the question of now. What is the one thing in Club Penguin, lore wise or not, that makes you irrationally angry or annoyed? And no please don't just post stuff like "Club Penguin Island" be creative. Please.

For me. I'd have to say it the sports shop being replaced by the everyday phone facility. (Click Keep Reading if you want to hear my really long rant about something that doesn't matter in the real world.)

For one. The Sports shop, made sense where it was. It was by the ski hill. Sure most penguins just sled race down, but.. ya know. Sports. It did sell stuff like Snowboards and Skis and outfits for both so.. Makes sense to be near the ski hill rather than the staduim. The phone facility sticks out here, (I mean did ya see what it used to look like. The room has no pizazz.) Anyone could guess something sketchy was going on there. (like that one comic about it and the phones not even working properly.) Plus. Do Penguins even own phones.? The only ones Ive seen to have own them is those in the PSA/EPF. Do non agent penguins own phones because if not. Doesn't make any more sense.

Point Two: the sports shop does a better job at hiding its secret agency. Again. Even going away from the fact it fits in better. The sports shop was never on the nose about being a front for a secret agency. Sure Gary was weird leaving from time to time but like. He lived there and stuff. It worked as a better front (in my opnion) to the PSA. The Everday Phone Facility... For one shares the same initals as the Elite Penguin Force. EPF. Two. Minus the fact it stood out like a sore thumb, the inside was also weird. Even ignoring the whole phone thing. Clearly, when it was first introduced as a room with a phone. Anyone couldve walked by and said "hey. That looks like a front for something."

Point three: Herbert. You could say "well the sports shop only worked for so long as Herbert didn't know where it was. he found out and exposed it." to that I say. WHY PUT HEADQUATERS THEN BACK IN THE SAME LOCATION?! if that was the biggest concerned, why not move it to a more secure location? were they not expecting anyone to ask about it? were they expecting lighting to miss them and not strike twice in the same location? Because News flash. IT DID. Sure no one couldve predicted Operation Blackout but. COME ON. Surely there couldve been a better location to put it. RIGHT?!

I don't.. know where I wouldve put it if I was in charge of it, but I would certainly move it to not the same location as it was before. Maybe somewhere near the lighthouse? Or like.. the mines? Or a spot hidden in the forest like that water room. So yeah.. My long rant