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"I think we've gotten a little more patient"
#its canon just trust me bro#hello fate Tumblr#fate#fate grand order#fgo#fate fanart#fate series#okinobu#okita souji#oda nobunaga#my art#comic#fate type redline#nobukita
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Just got the sins of the father trophy and—
holy shit the last words that lae’zel told me before I had to kill her
“I’m glad it was you. No other blade would have sufficed” OHHHH MY GODDDDDDDDD JUST END ME NOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!
#bg3#junk#I’m so bad at being evil but I was like well if I’m gonna have to kill my beloved#then let’s do it with a kiss#BUT THE WAY SHE SAID GOODBYE???? WHAT THE FUUUUUCK#I’m still a shadowheart truther at heart but MAN#lae’zel has a way with words and the way she expresses her love would just#have me screaming#‘you are my today and if fate should will it#my tomorrow’#hello????????????????#bae’zel is just truly something else#and omg in the good ending when you’re at the camp and you ask her for a kiss she just GOES for it#AND SHE CALLS YOU MY LOVE WITHOUT EVEN FLINCHING#that’s called GROWTH!!!!!#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#👈 says she’s a shadowheart truther but nothing in her romance made me lose my mind like this#hers is more like awwww that’s cute!!! so sweet and lovely :)#meanwhile lae’zel’s….oof 😳😳👌#now next run….karlach 👀 wish i could do another bae'zel run with the shadowheart origin but well....i need that karlach date trophy 🤷♀️#i am internally screaming at how good the durge run is but the only irl bg3 friend i have hasnt done the durge run yet so alkdjflakjdflk#tumblr tag ramblings will have to do for now
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hey I went to anime expo!
#my face#my cosplay#cosplay#oh hello tumblr#how you been#bluelock#chigiri#chigiri hyoma#fate stay night#fate series#fate#racer#racer rin#racer rin tohsaka#rin tohsaka#heaven officials blessing#heaven official's blessing#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#hua cheng#san lang#ai somnium files#ai the somnium files#ai the somniun files nirvana initiative#aitsf#aitsfni#mizuki#mizuki date
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Thank you! For blorbo bingo I will return the same- any Cu of your choice!
I can't help but pick Lancer Cu too, haha. Hope that's alright!
Going over the points left to right, top to bottom
= Pale crush <> (the medium/concept of moirallegiance just jives with me and I'm too gay for women to thirst over him carnally but boy howdy can I do it emotionally)
= 'Most' is too strong of a phrase, but I do think that sometimes people soft-ball Cu. Like you said in yours on him, he's silly, serious, ferocious, clever, and plenty more. But it can feel like people at times cherry pick or ignore certain aspects in favor of others. He can be all of the above - he's a very multi-faceted person, which is a mark of a good character!
= Cu as a character from Fate is one I wouldn't mind hanging out with. From legend I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole (much less be close enough TO touch him with one in the first place). That said I do admire how even in intolerable circumstances, he can grit his teeth and keep going, even if it's putting him in a depression. His loyalty is a double-edged sword as well. It means if you're at the top of his priority list, it's 'til death makes him quit. If someone who has command over him sics him on you...well we saw how that went for Ferdiad. It'll be a closed-casket funeral or cremation if you're a good enough fighter.
= I hinted at this in point two, but Cu has the Standard Messed Up Traits most heroes in old legends had, if you're going by the Tain. Misogyny, non-con, and a temper typical of the half-divine to name a few. Even in the more palatable Fate version, he's still got a lot of blood on his hands
= Exposing myself a bit with the projection haha. But this blends sort of with the free space wherein I definitely see Cu as having ADHD. Sure there's the energetic aspect, but that's the easy pickings. I think there's a good chance he has RSD (though you have to look more at original legend than Fate text for this), that fun flash temper some can have amidst a few other emotional disregulation, etc. And calling back to that 'can keep on trudging with his head down even if he's getting depressed' point, I am fortunate enough to not be in that place presently, but do identify with it.
= Making him worse is easy. You need two cups stress, one cup loss, a dash of antagonism, and-
= Won't go over this one too much. I've listed some of Cu's faults above, but he's pretty and that's a good blinder lol. This is pretty standard for most Fate characters.
= I do think about him pretty regularly haha. Mostly in the context of YariYumi or roleplay or fic.
= Feel like this point is pretty much explained by the points touching on his good and bad qualities above
= Two points up lol
= This is again mostly in YariYumi context, but because Cu and Emiya exemplify one another's life choices and the consequences thereof so well. Cu is a person who gave up a lot for a big dream, and maybe it wasn't worth it in the end. Maybe what he had to live for outweighed the fame he died for, in his mind. Maybe it was what it was and he's at peace with it. But Cu has lost a lot of people in his quest for fame - both by killing them (Ferdiad, Connla), losing them due to politics (Fergus, Lugaid), dragging them along into danger (Laeg, his horse) or by dying (Emer, his little-known daughter Finscoth). He may keep his head up and accept his choices, but that is a lot of loss for one person to bear, and all within a purportedly short lifetime.
= Those points aside....it is an absolute crying SHAME that Fate has not given us a proper Cu Berserker yet, or at least shown us a riastrad. It's a shame they don't explore the losses he's experienced as much. It's a shame that they don't let us see beyond the mask of cheer or ferociousness, because there's a lot to explore.
= All that being said, let this man rest!! Goddamn!! He's been through so much alive and dead and he needs a break! Outside of particular circumstances, I will not be giving him a break
#Long post#cu chulainn#fate series#mun's musings#character bingo#thank you for asking about him! I enjoyed this#Hello I hate tumblr's list formatting bc there isn't space between the points#so hence the = jots#I've tried to put the top point under the cut twice and it won't let me >:( tumblr fix your formatting
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Emiya Alter’s Valentine really adds to his character. there’s a lot of poignancy surrounding the gift and the cutscene that comes with it.
I love how his tow cable translates from “Save Wire” in JPN to “Lifeline” in NA, because it truly cements the figurative aspect of a lifeline. he ultimately saved Melt in SE.RA.PH, pulling her out from Kiara’s clutches. but he also allowed Melt something he didn’t get in that story: freedom from Kiara’s control. he laid down his life to give her that second chance; perhaps, by giving Ritsuka that same cable, he’s telling them that he’d go to similar lengths again. he says that the tow cable can be used to pull themselves out of an abyss, and in his Interlude we see that he’s more than willing to jump into one in spite of its foreboding nature. he’s more than willing to sacrifice himself in order to help others, to such an extreme length that he’s dangerously careless about himself.
in some ways he cares, though. more than we’re initially meant to believe, after he says that Ritsuka giving the chocolate was a mistake since he can’t taste. “Good intentions are like sandpaper.” good intentions are often framed positively, i.e., “at least you had good intentions”, or “they had good intentions but bad execution”. sandpaper is almost an opposite of that; it is uncomfortable, coarse, abrasive. Emiya Alter’s comparison is a reflection of himself, which has been worn down again and again from his own ideals. his life, guided along by those well-meaning intentions, has been as a harsh and coarse process. the result is an Emiya who barely resembles who he once was, but at least has some enhanced strength. he at least functions better than before. he’s also shown to care in that, after he gives his return gift, he eats the chocolate. Alter knows he can’t taste it, and you’d think it’d be a foregone effort for him not to try otherwise. but no, he still attempts to see if he can taste anyway, to perceive what it’s like. him writing down the occasion as a “special day” for his diary further cements the care he takes towards the chocolate-that in spite of the forlorn ending that had happened, he still wants to remember the moment.
Emiya Alter denies his own sense of self, stubbornly sticking to his self-perception as only good for being a weapon. but he, in his own way, still reaches out towards some semblance of being human.
#fgo#fate grand order#emiya alter#media analysis#death#hello it’s me! back with another analysis about Edgemiya’s cutscene stuff :D#I’ve talked about Emiya Alter’s Valentine’s cutscene on Reddit too and the wording is somewhat similar#I wanted to talk about it on Tumblr too-and make it more cohesive in the meanwhile
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“You hang out at your island for a few weeks, not contacting anyone and everybody suddenly thinks you are dead...” Odtsetseg grumbled.
#COME! I SHALL DANCE AND SING TO THE TRAGEDY OF FATE (ic)#DC! DYING DYING ELECTRICITY (crack)#((ksdjkr HELLO everyone!))#((sorry if this blog was erased for a few weeks))#((tumblr was being a jerk and deleted it while I was in another country ://))#PAST THE FAR EDGE OF FATE I STAND (endwalker)
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𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒍 𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒍𝒖𝒓𝒌𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒔
🕊️a whore's fairytale masterlist🕊️
summary - y/n jane porter (you) decides to prove men wrong by searching for the lost man, and you happen upon him after insulting a bunch of baboons, only to realise that you will never leave again.
warning - smut, dubcon, chase, marking, insulting animals, swearing, oral sex, creampie, kidnapping/held hostage?
18+ only please, the gif and headers I use aren't mine.
Warnings and Reminders - Please do not plagiarise, copy, repost/republish, adapt, or translate any of my work on any social media platforms, apps, or third-party sites. The only platforms I post my work on are: Tumblr and Wattpad. I do not own any character of any franchise (Marvel etc.) All my works are fiction and may be dark or triggering content: READ ALL WARNINGS BEFORE PROCEEDING.
You huffed as you stalked the forest, searching for a man who had been lost to the world. Explorers have searched high and low for him but have yet to succeed. You were determined to be different, to prove to them that you could find the lost man. Secretly though, you knew he would be feral, not even knowing what a woman was and the pleasure you could bring him. You hiked up your light yellow dress, white-gloved hands scrunching the material between your fists. You spin when you hear a sound, looking up into the trees, and your eyes widen when you notice the many baboons staring down at you.
“Oh, hello.” You look closer, squinting your eyes and scrunching your nose. “You’re quite ugly creatures, aren’t you?” You stumble back when they begin to screech, looking ready to attack, and you put your hands up. “I didn’t mean to offend. It’s just…” Your words are lost to them, and you start running as some of them jump from the trees and chase you, the others swinging through the branches. You pick up your pace, dodging trees and rocks, trying your best not to trip or get caught. You feel your breath shorten, and your lungs burn. A scream escapes you as your foot gets caught on a root, but before you can fall, something or someone grabs you, swinging you away from the baboons.
You screw your eyes shut, not daring to look at what had grabbed you, feeling it would be better if you didn’t see what fate had planned for you. Your brows scrunched as you felt whoever or whatever was placing you down softly, and your eyes widened when you opened them, noticing the man everyone had been searching for. The lost man had saved you from being torn to shreds, and the excitement caused a jolt between your legs. You scanned his physic, noticing how tanned and beautiful he looked. Your eyes landed on his face lastly, eyeing the moustache and imagining what it would feel like in between your thighs, his unbrushed hair all curled and wild, like him.
Tangerine’s head tilts, doing the same to you. He was curious, never having seen someone like you before. He’s seen others that look like him, but none so… Beautiful, so soft looking. He licked his lips, scanning you like you were a meal for him to feast on. He glared when you lifted your hand, and you returned it with a soft smile. “It’s okay. I’m not here to hurt you… I’m Y/n Jane Porter. Do you have a name?” Tangerine grunts, lifting his hand and cautiously placing it against yours, thinking of his words. You squeeze your legs together at his touch, causing his eyes to snap down to the sweet nectar that lies between your thighs.
Tangerine’s hand moves from yours and taps his chest. “Tangerine.” Your eyes widen as the words fall from his lips, and you offer a soft smile.
“Like the fruit?” Your head tilts, knowing another name that would fit him. Tarzan stays on the tip of your tongue as you watch him.
He grunts again and stops, looking around before roughly grabbing you, causing a gasp to pass your lips. “Danger.” He growls. You are lifted onto the large man’s shoulders again as he begins to swing away just in time as the baboons swing, missing you by inches. Tangerine lands roughly on the ground. After a while of swinging and making sure you were no longer being followed, he lets you get off of him. You fall as your legs feel shaky, and you stumble back. He spins, eyeing you more, gazing at your exposed legs.
You clear your throat, brushing the dirt from your dress. “Thank you again.” Your chest moves up and down as you breathe heavily. You try and keep your eyes from looking at the bulge hidden behind the tiny cloth. Tangerine’s eyes lock to your heaving chest. You watch as they become black, filling with feral lust. He stalks towards you, backing you into a tree. You feel your cunt pulse, the large man turning you on. “W–what are you doing?” You gulp, squeezing your thighs together when he traps you against the wood.
“Me do you.” Tangerine growls. He grabs your hips, dragging you onto the ground and climbing over you. “Stay… Still.” He grunts, trapping you with his large body and rubbing his bulge against your dripping cunt. Tangerine had never felt something so incredible, and he hadn’t even explored that far yet. He sits on his legs, looking down at you with dark eyes filled with lust and hunger, growling as your dress becomes annoying. Tangerine grips the material, shredding it and causing you to squeal and squeeze your thighs together, feeling yourself clench around nothing. “Annoying” You don’t know why, but this feral man's few words turn you on.
You whimper, subconsciously spreading your legs for him, watching his mouth open and close as he glares between your legs, watching your pretty pussy drip. Tangerine growls as he dives in, lapping at your sweet cunt. Your back arches, and you let out a scream that echoes through the many trees. Your hands curl into the ground, legs slamming shut around his head as he continues to feast on your cunt, licking and sucking, wrapping his lips around your swollen pearl and sucking, flicking the sensitive little bud with his tongue. You move your hand into his hair, gripping the untamed locks, pulling him closer. “O–Oh! That feels so good!” You exclaim, feeling the band inside you tighten, ready to snap. “Keep going, please!” Your eyes screw shut, and your toes curl, but suddenly everything stops, and you open them again. “What are you doing? Why did you stop?” You felt furious, sexually frustrated. This was the most pleasure you had felt in your entire life, and you couldn’t let it slip from your fingertips.
Tangerine growls and your eyes widen when you watch him grab himself. The tiny cloth has tented massively and keeps nothing hidden. He rips the pathetic material from his body and throws it aside, tilting his head as you make an embarrassingly loud choking sound. You look at him and back to his cock repeatedly, staring with your mouth open. “That’s not going to fit inside me.” Even as you say those words, your walls clench as you watch his cock twitch.
Tangerine grunts, shrugging. He crawls on top of you, forcefully placing your legs onto his shoulder and tapping your gaping hole with his swollen tip. “Fit.” You gasp as he begins to push in, his hair covering his face as he puts his head down, never having felt something so good. “Good” The grunt he lets out causes you to clench around him and his hips to thrust forward, forcing his way deeper inside you. Your head rolls back into the dirt, closing your eyes as he picks up his pace, releasing the animal buried deep inside of him. Tangerine slams hard and fast into you, his cock so large it feels like he’s in your stomach. If possible, the bulge that forms causes him to become even more feral.
Your hands fly up and grip his arms, digging your nails into him before whimpering when he pulls out and flips you around, pushing your face into the dirt and lifting your hips before plunging back into you, grunting and growling as he fucks you like an animal. Your mouth falls open, and your eyes roll back, clawing into the ground and clutching onto it, trying to find something to ground yourself too. Tangerine grips your hips, pounding against you, moaning when he feels you grip his cock like a vice, dragging him deeper into you and allowing him to hit your sweet spot repeatedly. “Ah! Oh! Fuck… Right there!” You whine, fucking and grinding your hips back into him, wanting to feel him more.
Tangerine pulls out again, your mind too fuzzy to get angry as he grabs you and pushes you against the tree, wrapping your legs around his waist and reentering your sweet cunt. Your eyes roll into the back of your head, mouth open in a silent scream as he fucks up into you, his lips against your neck, marking you as his. You are so close, feeling your walls pulsate and clench around the feral man, feeling so dirty and full. “I–I’m close!” Tangerine grunts, slamming harder into you, pinning you against the tree, not caring if the bark marks your flesh. Your vision goes white, and your body goes slack in his arms as your orgasm rips through you, squeezing his cock and coating it with your cream.
A growl rips through the large man. Tangerine bites into your shoulder, fucking deeper as he feels his balls tighten. He had only experienced this when he’d touch himself, teasing his cock and balls until he was close to cumming before stopping and repeating. He knew the release would feel amazing, causing him to continue to thrust, his hand moving between your bodies, locating your swollen, sensitive clit and rubbing. Your back arches, causing another orgasm to rip through you, and Tangerine groans, releasing his cum deep inside you, filling you with thick amounts as you squeeze his cock.
Your head slumps against his chest, your chest moving up and down heavily as you try and catch your breath. Your walls pulsate around his still-hard cock, wondering how he could still be ready for more. Tangerine cups the back of your neck, grunting as he makes you look at him. He grins, leaning close as he slowly begins to thrust again. “Mine.”
The growl can still be heard as you realise you will never be able to leave again, but maybe that was a good thing.
thank you for reading!
feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.
#imyourbratzdollwork#a whore's fairytale#tarzan!tangerine x janeporter!reader#tangerine fanfic#tangerine x reader#tangerine x you#tangerine fanfiction#tangerine fluff#tangerine fan fic#tangerine fic#tangerine imagines#tangerine imagine#tangerine one shot#tangerine oneshot#tangerine angst#tangerine x y/n#aaron taylor johnson#aaron taylor johnson fanfiction#aaron taylor johnson fic#aaron taylor johnson fluff#aaron taylor johnson fanfic#aaron taylor johnson imagines
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From Gold to Mold
Chapter 4: The Deal (Warning: this chapter will feature violence. Read at your own risk)
A/N: had free time this week to produce this. Next week is chock full of tests and midterms, so this’ll probably be the last chapter for some time. Enjoy! Also, I’m sorry to those who asked to be added to the tag list and weren’t. I tried to add many of you, but Tumblr wasn’t able to find your blog for whatever reason.
When you open your eyes, darkness goes on forever in all directions, the only thing you can see is yourself. Where are you and how did you get here?
“Hello,” you call out, hoping someone is nearby to hear you, not caring who hears you just as long as someone comes to you. “Is there anyone here?”
Nothing, which you expected, but you had hoped against reality that someone was here… wherever here is. The cold air surges through your body and you shiver, your teeth chattering, echoing in the void.
“What happened,” you ask yourself. “How’d I get here?”
Just then, your memory kicks in and images and words assault your mind all at once: walking through the East End, the three thugs, the dirty shack in the middle of the woods you had been dragged to, and—
“Oh my god,” you say as the final memory flashes before your eyes. “They killed me.”
That’s right, the flash of the muzzle and the sound of the gunshot still rattling in your head. And if you think hard enough, you can vaguely remember falling to the floor after the bullet entered your head.
“Wait,” you say, realizing something very important. “If they shot me, then why am I here?”
Sure, you aren’t religious (all beliefs in a just and loving god died after you lost your Momma and was forced to live in an abusive and neglectful household for thirteen years), but this dark and neverending void is a far cry from the bright and golden imagery that’s always been associated with heaven. And this sure isn’t the fire and brimstone that comes to mind when you think of hell. So, is this purgatory? Or limbo? You never could keep the two straight.
Is this your fate? To spend the rest of your afterlife alone in this abyss? Why couldn’t you just cease altogether? Was it too much to ask that you just close your eyes and never wake from your eternal slumber?
You realize you’re crying and you’re amazed that after crying so much throughout your life, you still have plenty of tears to shed, even in the afterlife. But that’s been your lot in life since you lost Momma: to be the world’s punching bag.
“Such powerful emotions,” a familiar voice says.
You look up in shock and see your Momma, looking exactly the same as the day she was taken from you.
“Momma,” you exclaim, rushing to her and embracing her, squeezing her as hard as your arms will allow, afraid that if you let go, she’ll disappear.
“This form brings out such joy, sadness, and loss in you,” she says. “Feelings from someone alive are far more vibrant than from someone deceased.”
“What,” you asks, looking up at her in confusion, but when you do, it’s not your Momma you see looking down at you, but Bruce. You let go of the man as quick as you can and put a bit of distance between the two of you.
“What did you do to my Momma, you son of a bitch,” you shout in disgust.
“This form brings out such anger, pain, and hatred in you,” Bruce says, looking you up and down as if dissecting you like a damn lab experiment. “How interesting.”
“What the hell are you talking about? How’d you get here and what did you do to Momma?”
“And it’s not just this form.” You see movement all around you and in perfect unison, the other members of the Wayne Family appear from the void. “You hold these forms in equal amounts of hatred and contempt.”
“You deem this one a failure,” Bruce says.
“This one a hypocrite,” Dick says.
“This one a brute,” Jason says.
“This one a know-it-all,” Tim says.
“This one a stranger,” Barbara says.
“This one annoying,” Stephanie says, before turning to Cassandra. “And while you’ve never heard that one speak, you deem her a freak.”
“And you deem this one a monster,” Damian says. He gestures to Bruce. “You hate this form and that one in equal measure, far surpassing the others.”
You see another figure step out of the void and when you make out the face, it’s Alfred. You feel relief surge through your body, happy to see the butler; if there’s anyone who you can depend on, it’s him.
“While this one serves the others, you hold great respect for this form,” Alfred says. “Although, you hold a not insignificant amount of resentment towards him.”
Your heart skips a little at the accusation. No, you love the man, who took the place of a father when Bruce failed to fill the void left by your Momma’s death; sure, you’ve had the occasional thought that if the man was given a choice between you and them, he’d choose them over you since he’s always helping them, but he’s always been there for you since day one!
“No,” you say, pleading with the man. “Alfred, I don’t!”
“But you do,” the butler responds. “According to you, he is the true master of your prison, but instead of using his power to make them acknowledge your existence, he allows them to continue parading through Gotham, fighting criminals.”
“You also believe all these forms belong in Arkham,” Bruce adds. “And that you wish to be the one to subject them to electroshock therapy.”
You finally realize that something’s wrong here. All of them have never been in your presence long enough for you to say how you feel about them (not that they’d care, anyway) and you’ve never told Alfred how you often daydream of locking them away in Gotham, strapping them to metal chairs, and flipping the switch to send hundreds of volts through their skulls, hoping to shock them into being decent human beings. All this has been kept in your head for well over a decade.
So, how the hell did they know all this?
“You’re not them, are you?”
“No,” Not-Bruce answers. “We only took the forms of those you see before you.”
“Then who the fuck are you,” you growl. “And where the fuck am I?”
“We have no name,” Not-Alfred says.
“We are one, and yet we are many,” Not-Damian finishes.
“It is impossible to define a being such as us,” Not-Jason chimes in.
“Alright, that doesn’t answer my question,” you mutter to yourself, but say it loud enough for them to hear. “Then answer me this: where am I? The last thing I remember was being shot by three thugs.”
“Yes, we know of your attack,” Not-Stephanie says.
“As for your question, we are appearing to you in your mind,” Not-Bruce says.
“My mind,” you exclaim. “How?”
“When you appeared to us, we reached out and established a link with you,” Not-Tim explains. “It is from there that we were able to peer into your mind and see your memories.”
“My memories,” you ask, dumbfounded.
“Yes,” Not-Damian responds. “Through your memories, we saw these forms and assumed them. We thought it would be more preferable for you to speak to us if we took the appearance of the people who have the most influence on your life.”
“If you looked through my memories, then you should know I want nothing to do with any of them,” you snap at them.
“We know now that we were in error,” Not-Bruce responds, a ghost of a smile gracing his face. “We owe you many thanks. Never before have we been put into a situation where have known the sensation of being incorrect. We will ponder this experience for years to come.”
“So, what do you really look like.”
All of them look at one another, unsure how to answer your question.
“We are not sure if you wish to see our true form,” Not-Alfred responds.
“While you are the first sentient being we’ve interacted with in our entire existence, we know that our true form is something many of your kind would consider… terrifying,” Not-Stephanie adds.
“I don’t care,” you snap. “I’m not talking to any of you while you look like this and I sure as hell don’t want you taking Momma’s form! And if we’re going to talk, we’re gonna do it face to face!”
“Very well,” Not-Bruce acquiesces.
And with that, everything fades to black and for a moment, you’re scared you’ll be left here in the dark by yourself again. Maybe you should’ve let them stay like that.
Just then, above you, you see an odd red glow. You look up and you feel your blood freeze, your heart stop, and the air catches in your lungs. Above you is a giant mass of red, bioluminescent flesh hanging from a cave ceiling, thick black tendrils extruding from it and digging deep into the surrounding rock, allowing it to remain suspended in the cavern. And if that didn’t freak you out enough, you can see the flesh obviously resembles the shape of a fetus in the fetal position. This thing looks like something out of an H.P. Lovecraft novel.
“Holy shit,” is all you can say.
“We told you you would not approve of our true form,” it says, its voice beaming directly into your mind.
“What are you,” you ask, still awestruck at the sight before you.
“We are have no name,” it responds. “But, with the knowledge we have accumulated over the centuries, we suppose you can call us the Megamycete.”
“Megamycete?”
“Yes, we are a supercolony of sentient fungus that has existed for over four-hundred years.”
“Four-hundred years? That’s as long as Gotham’s been around.”
“We have existed as the city above. When its founders first arrived, we were nothing more than a collection of small, independent and unaware colonies of mold. Not long after the first buildings were built, an earthquake shook the area and revealed something we now know as a ‘Lazarus Pit,’ a pool of green, luminescent liquid that possesses remarkable restorative properties, and the colonies that would become us were plunged into it.”
“And this pit made you the way that you are?”
“The pit made us aware, but it did not give us our intelligence. With our enhanced capabilities, we were able to spread out our roots beyond the mountain. Not long after, we discovered the corpses of the first of Gotham’s citizens, buried after they drew their last breath; when our roots came into contact with their bodies, we found we had the ability to archive the knowledge, memories, and even DNA of the deceased. We became obsessed with growing our archive, so as Gotham grew over the years, so did our roots; overtime, we archived hundreds of its deceased, increasing our intelligence and knowledge of the outside world. Now, our roots touch every part of this city, becoming one with it, not only archiving the remains of its living, but seeing and hearing everything that goes on within its boundaries.”
“So,” you say, your mouth becoming dry at your newfound knowledge. “You’re like some fungal god?”
“While we know many of your kind may consider a being such as us god, we hold no illusion of being a divine entity. We think of ourselves as an immortal observer.”
As you attempt to process this information, your mind brings something to your attention and you feel your heart stop when you realize it. You really don’t want to know the answer, but there’s that damn stubborn part of you that has… no, it needs to know.
“So,” you begin, trying to summon the courage to ask your question. “Earlier, you said all of this is going on in my head, right?”
“Yes, our roots were able to establish a link with you and allow us to convene with you in your mind.”
“So, if we’re in my head right now, where’s me? I mean, my body?”
Although the Megamycete doesn’t have eyes, nor does it turn anything that resembles a head, you can feel it shift its awareness to the side, as if looking at something. You feel yourself break into a cold sweat as you slowly turn your head to the left, wondering what exactly you’re going to find.
And when you do, your greeted by a sight that makes you feel as if the world around you had crumbled away and you’ve been left behind to float in the void left behind: you, lying in a mess of tendrils composed of mold, broken, battered, and bloody; your limbs lying in directions they’re definitely not supposed to be in, your eyes glazed over, and a gaping bullet hole in your left temple.
“Oh my god,” you shout, utterly horrified at the sight before you. “Oh my god!”
“We saw the torture those three criminals subjected you to. Their leader was quite thorough in inflicting damage.”
“So that’s it, huh?” While this is all just some projection in your head, you feel like you’re hyperventilating. “This is how it ends: being eaten by some sentient mushroom and becoming a part of it? Doomed to spend the rest of eternity tethered to this damn city? I survive in a place where you’re likely to be killed by some trigger-happy murder clown and his psycho-ass whore while getting your mail and some two-bit thug is what does me in?”
“If you look closer, you will find that you are still alive.”
You practically snap your head to look back at your body and sure enough, you can see your chest moving up and down. It may not be much, but it’s there.
“I’m alive,” you ask, shocked at the sight of you breathing.
“You still live,” it answers back. “Your life force is low, but still there.”
“But how? He shot me in the head and then threw me down here! People don’t live after something like that!”
“While a gunshot to the head is normally fatal, our archive shows us two revelations: that the bullet did not go through your brain, but graze it and that the bullet used was of a lower caliber. While the wound was grievous, you still had a chance of surviving it. As for the fall into our chamber, your body was caught onto our roots as it fell, slowing it down and allowing it to land with diminished force.”
“But I’m still going to die, right?”
“Yes,” it answers, seemingly sympathetic. “If you were in a proper hospital, you could recover, but right now, your body is slowly shutting down. By the time anyone found you, you would long be deceased.”
So, you survive attempted murder, but you’ll still die in the end.
“Fuck,” you mutter. “Wasn’t the end I had in mind.”
“What did you have in mind for your death,” the Megamycete asks.
“Shouldn’t you know what i had in mind for my death?”
“We do, but our knowledge shows us talking to the dying brings a form of comfort to them. Plus, this is the first time we have had the chance to interact with a living mortal. We wish to prolong the experience as much as possible.”
You chuckle at that. “I thought I would spend my final days back home in Goodsprings, sitting in the big recliner Momma bought for me. I use to spend Saturday mornings in it, eating cereal and watching cartoons.” You smile at the memory of the chair. “It was a damn good chair.”
“We see it, a brown cushioned seat, perfect for watching television or reading books.”
“Yeah, that’s the one. Would’ve been perfect to spend my last days in.”
“Perhaps you still can.”
You look up at the Megamycete. “What?”
“We offer you a deal: we will repair your body and give you the strength to leave this chamber and rejoin the outside world.”
“And you’ll get what?”
“You become our host.”
“What,” you balk. “Host?”
“Yes, we will entangle ourselves with your very being, becoming as one.”
“And why the hell would I agree to that,” you exclaim. “You fix my body just to take it over? No deal!”
“You misunderstand. We will not override your control over your body. We will be nothing more than a spectator in your life, seeing but being powerless to intervene. In addition to being restored to your former glory, you will gain access not only to our vast archive of knowledge, but gain abilities many of your kind would consider supernatural.”
That certainly cools your temper. “So, you fix me up and give me superpowers, but all you get in return is front row seats to my life. Sounds like I’m the only one benefitting from this deal.”
“On the contrary, we stand to gain just as much as you do. For over four-hundred years, we could see the outside world, but not join it. With each new corpse we archived, we began to desire a way to interact with the world firsthand and not by mere memories. You are our solution to this dilemma. Through you, we will know what it means to feel the sun on our face, or to taste the finest meals, or to hear a symphony.”
The Megamycete’s words shock you to your core. You guess if you were stuck in this cavern for four centuries and only knew of a world beyond it through memories, you’d do anything to experience it, too.
“Please, Y/N, we beg you to accept our deal. We promise everything we are, from our archive to our longevity, will be at your disposal. You will be stronger, smarter, and better than those who thought less of you. In comparison to you, they will be nothing more than mere ants.”
You’ve thought about showing the Waynes up for years, to be able to pay Jason back for that black eye, to make Tim feel like a complete idiot, and especially to make Damian feel inferior in every way possible.
“We can do that for you. With us at your side, you’ll attain a level of perfection they could never dream of. All we want is to be able to witness this firsthand.”
“Alright,” you relent. “If all you want is to go outside in exchange for making me better than them, you have a deal.”
“We thank you, Y/N,” it says, sounding incredibly happy. Relieved, even.
And with that, your world fades to black once again and when you open your eyes, you find that you’re back in your body, feelings of pain overwhelming your senses, making it hard to concentrate on the Megamycete pressing its tendrils into you. You watch in total awe as the giant, fetus-like mass that is the Megamycete begin to shrink and when you look down where the tendrils are embedded in your skin, you can see a black substance being injected into under your skin. The more of the substance being pumped into your body, the smaller the Megamycete gets.
That’s when you feel weird all over, like every cell in your body is transforming into something else. While not painful, per se, it’s an incredibly odd sensation.
(Your body is becoming one with our mold,) you hear the Megamycete explain in your head. (Not only will it repair the damage that was done to you, you will find that you are far more durable than any mere mortal and have the ability to change your form into any that is stored in our archive, both man or beast.)
“Wait, you’re saying I can shapeshift?”
(If that is what you wish to call our mimetic abilities, then yes, you may “shapeshift.”)
When the last of the mold was transferred to you, you find your body stitching itself up and the incredible pain you were in fading fast, like it was never there. You see a puddle of water lying nearby and when you look in it, you see that all your injuries are gone, even the scar on your left check that Damian gave you three years ago. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say it never happened at all.
And not only do you look better, you feel better! You wouldn’t say you were the healthiest person ever, but you tried to stay somewhere in between active and sedentary; sure you weren’t going to be running any marathons, but you were able to climb the many stairwells at school when the elevator took too long. Now, however, you felt like you could run and win a marathon, or climb up a mountain without climbing gear, or swim the English Channel during a hurricane! And you didn’t feel better physically, but intellectually as well! Gotham, for all it many flaws, has attracted the best artists, architects, doctors, engineers, musicians, scientists, and more; you feel your mind being rushed with the knowledge and memories of countless people throughout the ages, ranging from the city’s early days to now. Hell, you even have access to the memories and knowledge of some of Bruce’s greatest employees, giving you knowledge on much on Wayne Enterprises’ tech and projects that he’s spared no expense in keeping under wraps. Maybe you can get a pretty penny from Lex Corp in exchange for this information since everyone knows Bruce and Lex are bitter rivals and are constantly trying to one-up each other, with Bruce, unfortunately, often being the winner in their battles to develop the next technological development.
“I feel like I could run circles around Einstein,” you laugh, completely blown away with your newfound intellect. Right now, you feel like you could write a symphony that would make Beethoven feel inadequate while at the same time painting a masterpiece that would eclipse the Mona Lisa and designing a fusion reactor capable of powering the entire country. You look around the cavern, looking and not seeing a way out. “Now how do I get out of here?”
(There is a passage directly above you.) You look up to see a big hole in the chamber’s ceiling. (That is how you ended up here when those three threw you in here. Our archives have absorbed many of Gotham’s birds. Any one of them should give you the power to fly out of the chamber.)
The mention of the three thugs remind you of your stolen pen and Game Boy, which then fills you with rage. You’ve never liked thieves and the thought of your Momma’s treasured pen and your gift from your thoughtful boss in the hands of such lowlifes gives you even more of a reason to hate them. By now, they could be anywhere, maybe even outside of the city for fear of your disappearance being reported (mostly by Alfred, the only person left in Gotham who would give a damn).
(Remember our roots span all of Gotham,) the Megamycete says. (Through them, we have seen and heard all that occurs in this city. As our host, you now have access to them. All you have to do is reach out and think of who you wish to find.)
Following its advice, you reach out and feel the roots that entangle Gotham like a spider web. As soon as you do, you’re overwhelmed with sights and sounds from every corner of the city.
(Focus on the three,) it advises you. (If you concentrate on who exactly you want, the roots will do the rest.)
It takes some doing, but you manage to push aside the multitude of people that are in your mind’s eye and focus on the three kidnappers. You’re taken across the city, rushing past the many buildings and stopping at some seedy building in Coventry. Your newfound knowledge of Gotham tells you this is the My Alibi bar, a place for Gotham’s criminals to get together to eat, trade gossip, and find work.
With your destination known, you search through the Megamycete’s archives and something to get you out of here and find something that should do the job: crows. Your body manifests into a murder of crows and takes off in perfect unison, keeping in formation. It’s extremely weird to be a bunch of birds; you know that what was once your body is now numerous birds, but while you’re multiple birds, you’re still one person. You can see through all their eyes all at once and change their flight path and they actually do it like it’s nothing. In a matter of seconds, you’re on the surface, flying above the forest and looking down at the twinkling lights of Gotham’s buildings.
“You know, from above, that cesspit actually looks kinda pretty.”
(We thank you, Y/N. We never thought we would be able to experience such a sight firsthand, but here we are. Now, shall we retrieve your stolen property?)
The crows fly through the city, zipping past the buildings and as you do, you realize that you’ve just fulfilled a dream you’ve had since you were ten-years-old: to fly like a bird. When you realized that the Waynes were awful and all you wanted was to go back to Goodsprings— to take flight like a bird and leave this city and the Waynes behind. Now, you can turn into a flock of birds, or even grow a pair of wings, and fly all the way to Nevada!
Eventually, you reach the My Alibi club, which looks even worse in person than through the Megamycete’s roots. You land on a nearby building’s rooftop and see the only security for the entire building is a single bouncer. You command the birds to land near the bouncer and when they do, they come together and reform your body, but instead of revealing you, you command hardened black mold to cover your body, not wanting your face to be seen by anyone.
What’s going to happen here needs to not get back to you.
“What,” the bouncer stutters. “What the hell?”
“Leave,” is all you say.
The bouncer says nothing before he runs away.
(Are you ready,) the Megamycete asks as you near the door. (We highly doubt your three would-be murderers will take your return likely. Nor will they likely be in a hurry to return your property. You may have to resort to violence.)
“Good,” is all you say as you enter.
The noise coming from patrons’ conversations, drinking, and arguing comes to an end when you walk inside. A quick look around and you can tell this place lives up to its reputation of being for Gotham’s criminal element; everyone here looks like they’ve done time and will probably spend their last days in prison.
And in the back corner sit your targets, looking at you with their table filled with glasses and plates of food. The sight fills you with rage; they shot you in the head and threw you in a ditch and here they are, eating and drinking like they just got off work and wanted something to take the edge off. And what really pisses you off is seeing the one called Butch holding your Game Boy like it was his right!
“I’m here for them,” you say, pointing to your quarry. “The rest of you are free to go.”
“Up yours, freak,” some shithead shouts back, pulling out a revolver and fires it three times. The bullets hit the hardened mold and fall to the floor, looking like crushed tin cans rather than deadly projectiles. “What the hell?”
He goes to fire it again, but you raise your hand and a tendril emerges from it, piercing the man’s heart; he drops his gun and lets out a disgusting gurgle, blood dripping from it and pooling on the floor, before falling silent, dead.
While most of your mind is disturbed at the sight; you’ve just killed a man, his blood literally on your hands, but you can’t deny there’s a part of you that’s not saddened by your actions. After all, he did try to kill you and if he was in a place like this, chances are he was a piece of shit and Gotham’s a slightly better place for his passing.
For a moment, everyone is paralyzed at what just happened. The place is so quiet, a pin could drop and it would deafen everyone. Then, everyone breaks out of their stupor, practically all of them pulling out their guns and begin shooting at you, but just like their friend here found out, their bullets are useless against you. Numerous tendrils emerge from all over your body and rush at them; some of them empaling them, others wrap around their throats and crush them, while the rest just whip them with enough force to break them in two. One by one, they fall until it’s just you and your prey.
“Look, man,” you killer whimpers as you draw closer to him. “I don’t know what you want, but you can take what we have. Tom, hand him the bag.”
The other one throws a bag, which lands at your feet; you look down to see it’s your book bag. You pick it up and open it to find everything still inside, from your binder and notebooks to your phone and the gift box Mr. Chen gave you. You’re relieved to know that you’re not missing any of your school stuff and don’t have to go looking for anything or replace it. You are, however, missing all the money from your wallet, but a look on the table shows where it went to. But, you’re still missing the most important thing: your Momma’s pen.
“Here, take this, too.” The leader takes the Game boy from Butch and holds it out to you, which you snatch from him, reveling in the fear in his eyes as you did, and carefully place it inside.
That just leaves one last order of business. You extend two tendrils and wrap them around the leaders throat and hold him up from the floor, his legs kicking around, trying and failing to get him back on the ground; his arms pathetically wrap around the tendrils, trying to crate some room for him to breath, and his mouth is gaping like a fish out of water, trying to get any sort of air. His cohorts go to say something, but a quick glare from you shuts them up. You bring the man close to you until you can see your reflection in his eyes, which are wide and full of terror, and open your mold mask, revealing your identity to them and based off their expressions, all three men could probably crush coal into diamonds with their sphincters.
“Holy shit,” Butch whispers, his face showing his complete disbelief.
“It’s that kid,” Tom adds, his face mirroring his partner. “But, we killed him, right?”
“My pen,” you say, looking at this piece of human filth with complete contempt. “Where is it?”
You loosen your grip to allow him to speak.
“My pocket,” he says. “It’s in my pocket. All the pawn shops were closed, so I wasn’t able to sell it.”
While you’re happy that your beloved pen is not is some sleazy pawn shop’s display window, you’re utterly disgusted at the thought of this man’s audacity to think he had the right to sell your most treasured possession like its some worthless trinket. A small tendril emerges form your shoulder and searches the man’s pocket and pulls out that beautiful gold ink pen. You have it deliver it to your left hand, which is empty as your right hand is being used to hold the man in front of you, and hold onto it with a vice-like grip.
(Not even death could separate you from your Mother’s memento,) the Megamycete states. (We are impressed at your dedication to it.)
“Look, we’re sorry for what we did to you,” the man pathetically whimpers. “Really, we are.”
“Did you know this was my Momma’s pen,” you ask as if the man had not just said something. “I lost her on my sixth birthday and was forced to leave my home in Goodsprings to live here. This pen is the only thing of hers I was able to bring with me. And you had felt like you had the right to take something I treasure more than anything else in the world and pawn it off for some petty cash.”
“We didn’t know, man,” Butch responds, now realizing the depth of his mistakes. “We’re sorry.”
“We promise we won’t tell anyone about this,” Tom adds. “Just let us go and you’ll never see or hear from us ever again.”
“You’re right, we won’t see each other again, but wouldn’t you like to know who I was forced to live with?” The three of them pathetically nod in unison and you have to fight the urge to laugh. A few hours ago, these men were looking down at you, sure they could do anything they wanted, but now, here you are, far above them in the food chain. “I was forced to live with my father, Bruce Wayne.”
“But he said—“ the leader starts to say, but you cut him off.
“That bastard has ignored me since I moved in with him,” you shout, shutting him up. “I was his first biological son, but he’s completely forgotten about me!” You take a deep breath. Just the mention of him brings out the worst in you. “But it doesn’t matter. I don’t need him. Just like you don’t need your lives.”
And with that, you rip the man’s head clean off his shoulders, not even giving him the chance to realize his fate before killing him. You release the body and both it and his head crumple to the floor in a heap of lifeless meat and to further invoke fear in them, you stomp on the head while looking at them, the thing making a wet splat sound. The other two shout, but you cut them down with ease, tendrils emerging from your back and wrapping around their heads and crush them with ease, showering the floor in their blood and grey matter. Their bodies fall to the floor and flail around for a while before finally stopping.
(Well done,) the Megamycete praises. (You cut down these criminals and made Gotham safer faster than any police officer we have known. Perhaps the local police should seek out your services?)
“Not gonna happen,” you laugh as you walk out of the bar with your backpack in hand. “I have no intention of staying in this place. Once I graduate, I’m going back home.”
(Yes, Goodsprings. A small town located in Nevada. We look forward to experiencing your return to your point of origin.)
And with that, you manifest a pair of black wings on your back and take flight, flying far above the city’s skyscrapers, so hopefully you’re safe from detection. In just a few minutes, you’ve flown from Burnley Island to Bristol, something that should’ve taken almost an hour by car. Thanks to the Megamycete’s roots, you can see the Bats still out and about throughout Gotham, so you don’t have to worry about running into any of them while hurrying into your room.
You land down the street to avoid being picked up by the security cameras (Bruce’s picture is the definition of paranoid based on the amount of cameras in both the estate and in the house itself) and walk the rest of the way there. Normally, walking down the marathon-length driveway to the manor when coming home from work, but his time, you cross the distance like it’s nothing; in fact, you feel like you can do this another dozen times and still feel energized.
But, while you’re physically invigorated, you’re mentally drained and all you want to do is curl up and bed and pass out; you enter Wayne Manor and hurry to your room, never more thankful for being far from the rest of the household than you are now. While you’ve been flying under the radar of Gotham’s vigilantes for years now, you’ll afraid that even they won’t be able to ignore you when they found out about your newly gained powers. During your stay here, you’ve listened to their conversations when they thought you weren’t around and you know that while they distrust everyone (even each other based on the fact that no one seems to be allowed to have secrets), they distrust those with superpowers the most. Two years you listened in on a conversation between Bruce and Superman, who offered to help him during a time when many of Arkham’s most dangerous patients escaped all at once, and Bruce said in a tone that felt like sandpaper being dragged across your face: “Gotham’s off limits to metas. You step one foot in my city and you’ll regret it.”
Honestly, you’re confident that Bruce is only on this planet to be the biggest asshole who ever lived. He treats his first biological son like shit, he raises his “true children” to be as paranoid and pessimistic as him, and he threatens anyone who offers his sorry ass any kind of help. It seems to you that the only one who should’ve died that night in Crime Alley is Bruce.
You shove the man’s image in your head aside. Before tonight, he wasn’t important to you, but now, he’s irrelevant. You never needed him before, but now, you really don’t. With the Megamycete, you have everything you need.
Just then, your phone rings, bringing you out of your thoughts. You fish out your phone and look on the screen to see Alfred’s caller ID staring back at you.
“Hello,” you answer.
“Master Y/N, are you alright?”
“Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Because it’s over an hour since you should’ve called me since getting off work.” You wince when you peek at your phone and see you’re overdue your nightly call with the butler. “So, I ask again: are you alright?” Based off his tone, he’s not going to accept “I’m fine” as an answer.
“Yeah, I am.” You quickly think of anything that could explain your tardiness and realize something: the best lie is an obvious truth. You just need to modify it a bit. “I just stayed behind to tell Mr. Chen goodbye. Today was the last day for the store because his daughter said Gotham was too dangerous for him to stay by himself, so she brought him to her home today.”
“Oh, Master Y/N, I’m sorry.” His tone says he’s bought it and you actually feel bad lying to the man you’ve come to see as a father figure. “I know how much you loved working there. Are you alright?”
“Yeah, I will be. I’m gonna miss him.”
“Of course you will, he was a good man and you were the best employee he could ask for. Can I do anything for you? I’m halfway through with my vacation, perhaps I should—“
“No,” you cut the man off. “You don’t have to come back early, Alfred.” With everything that’s happened today, you need some time to prepare yourself before facing Alfred in person again. It would be a disaster for you to expose yourself as some form of metahuman in front of him. Plus, he deserves to have all his allotted vacation time. “I’ll be fine, really.”
“If you’re sure,” he says, obviously wanting to say more, but doesn’t press the issue. “I’ll let you go, I’m sure you’re tired and you need your rest. Please make sure you catch up on your sleep I’m sure you’ve missed this week during your spring break.”
“I will, Alfred, don’t worry. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Very good, Master Y/N. Good night, my boy.”
“Good night.”
You hang up and let out a sigh of relief, glad he bought it.
(You say you trust the butler with your life, but keep the events of tonight a secret from him. Why?)
“Because Alfred’s highly protective and would most likely steal a boat and sail back to Gotham within an hour if I told him I was kidnapped. And if he knew about you, he’d probably drag me to a hospital and have every last trace of mold surgically removed.”
(We do not wish for that to happen.)
“Me neither, bud. You know, after tonight, I think we’re gonna do great things together.”
(We agree. Now, heed the words of your butler and rest. Tonight was very eventful for you. It would not do well for our host to shirk in his bodily needs.)
You chuckle and strip down to your boxers before climbing into bed. Not long after you get comfy, you feel yourself drift off to sleep. For the first time ever, you’re actually looking forward to waking up in Gotham.
Bruce hears Jason whistle at the sight, but says nothing in favor of studying the carnage inside the My Alibi bar. Bodies are scattered everywhere around the establishment, some are relatively intact while others look like they were ripped in half.
“Looks like someone had fun here,” Jim says as he approaches him, Jason, and Damian. “What do you think?”
“Looks like someone had a score to settle,” he responds to the police commissioner. He motions to the remains of three men crowded together in a corner of the bar with their heads missing; two of the heads are near the rest of their bodies while the third has been reduced to a fine red paste. “Especially these three. Based on how they were killed, I’d guess whoever did this was after them.”
“Doesn’t look like Joker’s handiwork,” Jim adds. “No one here’s smiling and the place is devoid of murderous gag toys.”
No, this is definitely not the clown’s MO. Neither does it match the MO of anyone currently missing from Arkham. The only one he could think of that could rip apart and crush some of the victims is Bane, but that doesn’t explain why the remaining victims are impaled; plus, the giant is still locked up in Arkham’s high-security ward. So, this can only mean one thing.
“This is definitely the work of someone new,” he says, bending down to study the squashed head. “And with this being the only scene we know of, this was their first time killing.”
Whoever did this is highly dangerous and needs to be stopped and fast before even more people get hurt. Looks like he and his family are going to have their hands full for the foreseeable future.
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#male reader#yandere batfamily#batfamily#batfamily x male reader#batman#yandere barbara gordon#yandere cassandra cain#yandere bruce wayne#yandere damian wayne#yandere dick grayson#yandere batfam#yandere dc#yandere jason todd#yandere tim drake#dc x male reader#yandere stephanie brown#batfam#from gold to mold
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Hello Tumblr, this is a hostage negotiation, 30 notes and I draw it, full render, hell you can even make a suggestion for the drawing
(I desperately need drawing motivation)
Fate is in your hands
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second best |2| hoshina soshiro
PART 1 | PART 2 | BONUS: PART THREE
pairing: hoshina soshiro x f!reader genre: slight angst, comfort, childhood friends to lovers, a bit of that miscommunication trope snippet: hoshina soshiro always ranks second at everything in his life. god forbid he falls behind in the bid for your heart too. word count: 2.5K trigger warnings: author's note: hello, reposting the part 2 because of hiccups from saturday when i posted it first (tumblr blocked my blog lol). likes, reblogs, and replies are always appreciated but please do not copy or steal my works. in celebration of this blog reaching 100 followers recently, i have written a bonus part 3 which will be posted within this week. my taglist form is here, and feel free to let me know your thoughts by sending me an ask through here. using my degree correctly by writing hoshina fanfics yes
you aren't sure when things changed between you and hoshina soshiro.
when you were young, you would have understood that he didn't have the attention span to deal with you. he wasn't exactly shy, but you wouldn't call him friendly too - unlike you, who has taken it upon herself to be friends with all the children in the small neighbourhood. unfortunately for you, only the hoshina brothers are at the same age as you are, and at that time you thought that was a sign that fate was giving - you ought to be close to them.
you won't deny that you were fonder of the hoshina brothers than anyone when you started school. if you are being honest, you like them more than any of your expensive dolls or toys. being an only child, you thought it was only natural to want someone to be with - to want someone to share things with.
the brothers would have their endless training sessions every day, and though you did not know how to swing a sword then, you insisted to your parents - and theirs - that you must join them. sometimes you would be sitting on the floor just watching them, and frequently you would be the one keeping count of the score between soshiro and soichiro when they spar.
soshiro has never won a single match against his brother when they were kids.
but you didn't mind. you still preferred him over soichiro.
in fifth grade, you bought him the biggest cake your meagre savings could buy. it wasn't much really, but you won't forget how wide his eyes went when you lighted the candles and sang him the happy birthday song albeit out of tune. the next year, you gifted him a small keychain - a teddy bear in a purple kimono. you never saw him use it.
it wasn't until years after that you worked out what your feelings for him were. the girls from your class would make small talk and ask if you have a boyfriend now and then. you would say no all the time. at sixteen, you felt like you didn't need to be in a relationship - because you have soshiro, you said to yourself - and that was when it hit you.
every time soshiro would talk to you after that, you would peek in your little compact mirror, worried he had miraculously discovered your secret, afraid that maybe your face had given it away. he caught you doing that once, and he accused you of attempting to be pretty for him.
"is it me ye're trying to be cute for?" he volunteered to carry your bag on your way home but you declined. you didn't want to start assuming things; you knew he was just being nice.
"ya wish," you deflected effectively.
"well, whoever it is for, they're in for some trouble", he commented, and you chose not to read too much in his words. you realized how the walk to your house always seemed to be shorter when you were with soshiro.
when you turned eighteen, you asked your mom what it meant to be in love. she was the last person you had wanted to ask - your parents had broken their perfect marriage not long ago, your father choosing to abandon your mother and you. soshiro taught you the basics of kendo during those hard months. "i'll even let ya beat me", he said to you.
"it's when you care for them so much that you will go as far as to let them go because you wanted them to be happy," your mother answered.
soshiro did not have the decency to say goodbye when he left himeji. you wanted to celebrate with him, and it wasn't like you weren't familiar with his plans to move after graduation. you used to stay up late with him, and inevitably the conversation would steer to his dream of getting out of your town. he would say that it's to expand his horizons - for his growth - but you like to give yourself some credit because you know him too well to simply believe that. you can tell that he needs a place to stretch his wings and be the best - somewhere he can be better than his brother.
and maybe you are really your mother's daughter - you let hoshina soshiro go because you thought it would make him happy.
"vice-captain, platoon leader said ye're needed at operations." you saluted and walked inside his office. "get yer ass in there, were the exact words actually," you added, intending it to be a joke.
soshiro didn't even look up from the file he had been staring at since you came in. he's been like this for days after you were sworn in the defense force. you would bump into him in the hallways of the training building or sit at the same table with him for lunch, and he wouldn't speak to you at all. if you didn't know better, you would think that finally, after all these years, he is now aware of your feelings. but that would be impossible, because not only the other recruits would not dare to rat you out, but also because soshiro would not be acting this way if he knew.
"v-vice captain?" you repeated.
soshiro hummed. "i heard ya the first time, officer," he said, his glance on you so cold you felt it from where you stood. it wiped off the smile you were wearing that morning.
"ya can go," he said once more after he noticed you didn't move. "or d'ya need anything else from me?"
"no, vice-captain." you were almost out of the door when you remembered something else. "one more thing, hoshina-san," you faced him again, the way you said his last name soft against your own lips. "soichiro-kun will be visiting again tomorrow so we can go to himeji together -"
"do ya belong to the sixth division?" soshiro cut you off. "i didn't know ya transferred."
"i - i'm not -" you were still trying to look for the appropriate response when he interrupted you again.
"then why are ya spending so much time with him? d'ya wanna move to his jurisdiction?" soshiro is standing now, whatever he was reading earlier long forgotten.
it was difficult to reconcile this distant man in front of you with the boy you used to chase after during your childhood days. the one who would bring you an extra boxed lunch because you told him before that his bento tastes so much better than yours. the boy you fell in love with. you had both grown up, and taken different paths at a time, yes, but you did not expect to struggle so badly to find common ground with him. "im sorry, vice-captain, i'll be off now." it felt like a huge chasm had opened in the middle of the room that determined to keep the two of you worlds apart. you turned to leave, and you heard him mutter something.
"if ya wanted to keep going on dates with my brother, ya shouldn't have gone here."
there is only one thing sharper than his katana and it is hoshina soshiro's mouth.
pain swirled inside you, threatening to spill over. when you couldn’t keep the turmoil in any longer, you snapped.
"what is yer problem?!" your pitch reached a high octave that soshiro was shocked at the outburst. "did i do anything? cause yer being mean, soshiro," you pressed on, stepping closer to him. it didn't escape him how you dropped the title off his name, and the honorifics, too. he was about to respond, but you didn't give him the chance. "look, i know yer not on good terms with soichiro-kun, but he’s my friend."
"like i needed to be reminded." sarcasm coated his retort. "ya know what? ya can marry the guy and i won't even care. do whatever ya want", he said, dismissing you in a harsher tone
your forehead scrunched and your eyebrows met in confusion. "what are ya talkin' about? no one is getting married -"
soshiro's laugh was bitter. you recoiled at the offensive sound. "i'm not the one going around telling everyone she's in love with soichiro-kun.”
there was a loud ringing in your ears; you couldn’t believe what you were hearing, and you were suddenly afraid that this conversation is unfolding into something else entirely. “i never said that,” you protested. “i never told anyone i was in love with him. i don’t know where you’re getting this from.”
soshiro’s expression remained stoic and unreadable. “i heard you say it at the izakaya”, he murmured.
breath was knocked out of your lungs and panic started to rise within you. “i never told anyone i was in love with him”, you repeated. you tried to rewind every second of what happened in the party thrown for the new officers nearly a month ago. everyone was drinking and having a good time after the sworn-in ceremony. commander ashiro and the vice-captain had to leave ahead. your fellow newbies grilling you on your history with hoshina soshiro.
“save it.” hurt was evident in soshiro’s voice; his eyes glimpsed at you briefly, and you saw an emotion you couldn’t quite decipher flicker. soshiro’s expressionless mask faltered for a moment, revealing a glimpse of vulnerability. although you don’t have a clue how he would have heard it when he went with commander ashiro that night, the desire to straighten things out overtook you.
for a split second, the burden of the truth hangs heavily on your tongue. you gave in to the desperation.
“i never told anyone i was in love with him”, you reiterated, hoping he would understand this time. “because it’s you i’m in love with.”
there were multiple occasions in the past where you almost admitted what he meant to you; you had pictured a thousand scenarios in your head where you declared your love, but all of them did not include the part where soshiro would respond.
you thought confessing would ease the ache in your heart, but it was the opposite. "i didn't know how to tell ya, and that's my fault. but how could i? ya didn't even bother to say goodbye to me when ya left home." it was taking everything of you to hold your tears back, and ignoring the obvious tremble in your voice, you continued. "did ya know i taught myself how to pray after ya were gone? i thought it was the only thing i could do for ya."
"i didn't know", was all soshiro could say. he looks in distress, still grappling with your bold confession.
a loud knock on the door broke the tension. “vice-captain, they made me fetch you,” okonogi said from the hall.
“well, now ya do.” you turned away just when soshiro strode towards your direction, running after you. you were faster than him, and despite the possibility that you would be seen coming from the vice-captain’s office crying, you twisted the doorknob and ran.
it is still hot when you sit down on a bench at the rooftop of the third division's training building. you welcomed the cool breeze, however, and you noted that at this altitude, everything from far away looks considerably smaller.
you missed two important briefings this afternoon already, and your team is most certainly searching frantically for you everywhere. you are definitely going to be scolded by your superior. yet you couldn’t bring yourself to discard the little comfort being alone had given to you, especially after such an emotional confrontation. you sighed, exhaustion slowly crawling all over you. lost in your thoughts, you did not notice the soft footsteps approaching until a familiar voice tore through the silence. the cold breeze blew, making you shiver a bit.
“hey,” soshiro called out. you freaked out, immediately looking for a space to hide at. “i already saw ya,” he let you know.
he held out a keychain in front of your face, a tiny bear in a faded purple kimono with the string attached to its head dangling from his forefinger. you recognized it instantly - you got it for him when he turned 12 years old. he sat beside you, not concerning himself with asking for your permission.
“the first few days were the hardest”, he began, and you listened. “i was too used to seeing ya every day, but when we were apart, i convinced myself i would forget how ya look like. i didn’t.” he offered the keychain to you and you took it - the bear’s fur worn out and old to your touch. “i hold that thing whenever i start to miss ya.”
shock was etched on your face and your gaze darted to him. “is it too late now to say that i love ya?” he whispered, his face mirroring the sincerity of his tone. sunlight bathed the rooftop as soshiro’s words hung in the air, leaving you breathless and stunned. you gasped. “maybe i should have told ya sooner. but i have been in love with ya for a while now.”
you leaned into his shoulder, and you quietly cried.
“i don’t think i have been anybody’s first choice in anything, so it didn’t enter my mind that ya would probably feel the same.” his hand found yours and you relished on the warmth.
“your brother advised that i tell ya, ya know?” you said between sniffles.
he chuckled. “he didn’t do an excellent job at that, did he now?”
silence ensued; his thumb tracing patterns on the back of your hand, your head on his shoulder still - your breathing still a mess from everything that has been said. “i’m sorry i hurt ya. let me spend my whole life making it up to ya,” he proposed. the promise made your heart skip a beat.
for the first time in a long time, you gave him a smile - the one you have reserved just for him, the one you made sure to convey everything you wanted to tell him. there are a lot of other things you feel the need to ask him, but this will suffice for now. this is more than you ever had in your whole life.
“i can’t believe we wasted so much time dancing around our feelings. that one time i wanted to hit one of our classmates because he was being pushy with ya, d’ya remember that?” he reminisced. “anyone can have everything in the world, and the only time i would crack is if it is ya being taken away from me.”
all your dreams pale in comparison to your reality now.
out of the blue, you heard soshiro giggle. “does this mean ya were telling the newbies that night that it was me ye’re into?” he stared at you, and you can’t help but see him as the little boy you grew up with. this is the man i love, you said to yourself. you squeezed his hand.
you didn’t respond. all you know is the color of your cheeks surely rivals the pink of the skies as the both of you watch the sun sets.
#hoshina#hoshina soshiro x reader#soshiro hoshina x reader#hoshina x reader#hoshina soshiro#soshiro x reader#soshiro hoshina#kaiju no.8 x reader#kaijuu 8 gou#kn8 x reader#hoshina soshiro fic#YEY ITS FINALLY HERE
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Twist of Fate; Chapter One
Pairings; Rafayel x reader, Xavier x reader, Zayne x reader, Sylus x reader (Love and Deepspace)
Word count; 4,495 (sorry it's so short, I'll try to post three chapters today)
Themes; isekai, eventual smut
Rated; 18+ for swearing and some mature themes
Notes; To make things easier to read, I'm going to use emojis for who is texting.
Y/n 🩷
Rafayel 💜
Zayne 💙
Xavier 💛
Sylus ❤️
Hi everyone! This is my first time posting to tumblr so please be gentle with me! If you like this, then let me know! It would be greatly appreciated. My upload schedule will be every weekend (so either fri, sat, or sun!) Also, if the story seems similar, it's going to be verbatim with the story, just with my own embellishments to it. Without further adieu, I hope you enjoy this first chapter.
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Masterlist
A bright light shines within the dark room. There you lay in bed, playing a game on your phone late at night before bed. The soft background music coming from your speaker as the game loads up. You press ‘enter game’ as images of three men make their way across your screen, each one holding a special place in your heart.
Who says you need a real man? Fictional men are where it's at. They can't cheat on you, can't leave you, can't lie to you. It's a lot better than having to stress over a real person and worry if they'll leave you the next day or not. You know from experience, having two boyfriends in the past and neither lasting longer than six months- both breaking off the relationship before an anniversary. Screw men– well, besides the three on your screen right now. They were fine. Oh, and the fourth one being added a month from now.
The game loads in and you get a greeting from one of the men on screen. They take turns showing up in the Destiny Café, each able to say hello every time you log in. It was always sweet to see what they'd say, how they'd react, or any new text messages you'd get from them. You could even change their phone nicknames! You had Xavier, the sweet tired and aloof silvery blonde haired man, saved as Princess since you thought it would be cute. He'd definitely be embarrassed if you called him that. Zayne, the seemingly cold childhood friend and doctor, was saved under Snow Angel; you honestly didn't know what to have his name as that but it would just be amusing to see his reaction to it. Then there's Rafayel, the purple haired sassy and charming painter, who was saved as Nemo- again, very original. But Nemo works nonetheless. As you smile and send your daily stickers to each man to see their reaction, you get a new notification at the top of your screen.
“A new message?” You murmur, noticing that it's contact is unknown. The message was coming from the game. “It must be some new event. Weird…I wonder why there wasn't an update for it?” You back out of your message with Rafayel and click on the new message from the unknown sender.
:’Will you enter the game?’
“That's it?” Your brows furrow and you sit up in your bed, your phone lying in your lap as you scratch your head. “Wait..” You click on the message to reply and your keyboard pops up. “That's…” Usually, to reply in game, you get a choice between a few predetermined answers but for this…You just get to answer how you want to?
’What do you mean?’ You text back before reaching over to put your glasses on. Maybe you should've gone to bed earlier, it kind of feels like you're hallucinating.
You hear the chime of another message rolling in, and you look back down at your phone.
:’Yes or no? Hurry and pick one.’
This time the keyboard doesn't pop up, you only get three options.
ロ Yes
ロ No
And…
ロ Why?
You don't even think twice before pressing why, and the answer comes back quicker than you expect.
:’Please take care of them for me.’
You let out a scoff before running a hand through your hair. This must be some sort of elaborate prank. There's no way this is a part of the game, and even if it were there'd be no explanation for it. Is this the dev's way of getting back at you for sending so many support requests? Before you can think much about it, suddenly you feel more sleepy than before. Your eyes tiredly blink as you try to grab your phone to at least plug it up and get off of the game before you fall asleep, but instead you're lulled to sleep by the soft, melodic tune of Love and Deepspace.
Then a light so bright that it burns your eyes even though they're closed appears. It's hard to even force your eyes open, but when you do, you notice it's a big, deep crimson eye. Similar to the one you'd see in game. Your blood runs cold as you try to look around this unfamiliar area, but all you see is darkness. A dream? Yeah..this must be a dream. Although you've never been able to actively move in a dream before, there's a first for everything!
Right when you finally calm yourself down, you hear it. A loud explosion, the feeling of embers licking at your skin. Your ears are ringing, and you feel a sharp pain on the right side of your face. The darkness fades, and you're left with the blinding light of the sun against your back and your body lying on a pavement. Just lifting your head up to look at your surroundings feels like an extreme workout, everything about your body feels heavy. Sluggish. Though your left eye widens as you realize you're laying in front of a burning building. Something shining in the sunlight catches your eye, and once you grab the object, you find it harder to breathe. It was a dog tag with a charm on it. An apple charm with a star design in the center, and in the center of that was a ruby gemstone. The words ‘When U come back’ were written in cursive on the dog tag.
“No way..” you manage to croak out, the necklace clutched in your hand as you try to push yourself up, but the pounding in your head and the pain coming from your eye are no match, and you end up laying face down on the pavement in front of the burning home until you pass out from the pain.
Being passed out had its perks. You finally had a chance to think and put together a few puzzle pieces before you woke up. So if memory serves, what just happened was your- no, the main character's childhood home just blew up right after her best friend and basically brother Caleb stepped inside and her grandma, who adopted them both, was inside as well. They both died, and supposedly a mafia-like group called Onychinus was behind it because they were tying up loose ends as Grandma was a former researcher and scientist, experimenting on children and modifying them with aether cores. But the main character wasn't badly injured after the explosion, which never made sense honestly. You're that close to a building exploding, and you only get off with trauma and minor scrapes? That doesn't seem right…and honestly, the pain made it feel all the more real. If you were in a dream, that pain most likely would've woken you up.
So coming to terms that you're inside of the game was a bit easier that way. Though the bigger problem lies with your evol. You wouldn't even know the first step to using it, let alone resonating with another person. And firearm training. You've never shot a gun before, but you did take self defense and fighting lessons a few years back, but you can't exactly punch a wanderer. They're durable monsters that can shoot ice or anything at you and, some even have blades for arms…
“Great, it seems like she's waking up now.” You hear the deep, yet cold voice of a man. Then, you hear the higher pitched voice of a woman, “Finally! It's been three days, I just hope she doesn't insist on going back to work..” “She won't, doctor's orders.” The male voice says before you hear a door close.
Your eye slowly opens before you have to squint to adjust it to the bright white lights. A hospital? You try to sit up and the woman next to you rushes to help you. You have to turn your head to look at her since she's on your right side. Your right eye was also bandaged since all you can see is darkness out of it. The first thing you notice is her short bob cut. “Tara?” You say, your voice sounding a bit raspy and you tilt your head to the side. “Thank goodness, Y/n! We thought you'd never wake up.” She seems excited, bubbly and sweet…just like her character in game.
“That's..” Before you can finish your sentence, you start coughing. “Here, let me get you some water!” She hands you a plastic cup and you take a sip before continuing, “I…can't remember much.” You squeeze your hand in a fist, the sound of metal clinking together has you looking down at your hand. “You never let go of that. You've been holding it since..” Tara trails off and you're caught off guard by a sudden surge of emotions. You take a shaky breath as to not start crying, since that would definitely hurt your right eye before you look up at the ceiling. “I don't recall how to use my evol, how to shoot a gun…Can I still even call myself a hunter?”
“Y/n…” Tara sighs before taking your free hand, “Things can always be retaught, we're all just glad you survived. You should be glad to still have both eyes being that close to the explosion!” She smiled at you before handing you your phone. “I can't stay here long, but your phone has been blowing up for the past three days so make sure you check it out.” She pats your hand and stands up. “I'll visit later with a coffee or something for you.”
“The patient is advised to not have anything caffeinated until after being discharged.” A voice comes from the door before he steps inside.
Black hair, glasses, hazel green eyes, tall…
“Doctor Zayne,” I greet him with a small smile, suddenly more nervous and I turn to look at Tara. “I'll see you tomorrow, Tara?”
“Sure! That is, if I don't get a call about a wanderer..Metaflux readings have been crazy as of late, so we've all been pretty busy- but that's not to push you into coming in or anything! Your health matters more to us at UNICORNS so only come back when you're ready.” She says before leaving the room.
“How are you feeling?” Zayne asks as he comes closer, taking a seat where Tara once was. His eyes scan your whole body to make sure you're okay before landing on your face. He leans forward to take the bandage off of your right eye and you wince at how bright the light is for your non-adjusted eye. “It'll probably scar..” he murmurs, presumably to himself.
“I'm..” You trail off, sighing before you decide it's best to tell the doctor the truth. “I'm fine, but I can't remember-”
“Can't remember what?” He cuts you off, almost seeming more worried about just what you can't remember, which makes you laugh a bit. “Calm down, I was getting to that. I can't remember how to use my evol, use my gun, or anything to do with wanderers.” “Hmm..are you sure it won't come back with time?” Zayne seems to have calmed back down as he's now writing everything down on a clipboard. “I'm sure of that.” You clear your throat, looking back down at the necklace in your hand before running your thumb across it.
“I don't mind relearning everything but I won't be as good as I was before, that's for sure.” You lean your head back and Zayne quickly corrects you, gently tilting your chin back down. “If your wound reopens, we'll have to use stitches so be careful.”
“You'll get better at it in no time. Don't forget that I'll help you out.” Zayne says before standing up. You take a glance at the clipboard and it seems like he added ‘post traumatic stress disorder?’ as a note. You guess he assumes your forgetfulness might be caused by that, but you knew otherwise. “I'll leave you so you can check up on your phone.”
With that, the doctor leaves the room and you can finally let out a sigh of relief. It seems he didn't notice anything was off with you. He was honestly the hardest hurdle since he's known the main character for a long time, but you've noticed you tend to act like her to begin with so maybe it wouldn't be as hard as you thought.
You finally decide to put the necklace down on the table next to you, your hand aching from having held it so tightly and grab your phone. There was no code on it so you easy got into it, might as well put a code on it now..and now you go to check your messages. 45 missed calls from Nemo…Nemo? Your brows furrow and you flinch because, of course, that hurts the wound on your face so you quickly straighten your face out. The nicknames are the same as they were in your game. 11 missed calls from Princess, 55 missed messages from Nemo, and 5 missed messages from Princess. Zayne didn't leave any since he works at the hospital… though on the day of the incident, he did leave two missed calls and a reminder of a doctor's appointment.
You decide to check up with Rafayel first since he's a certified drama queen. You don't scroll too far up but the most recent text messages are just him being pouty that his ‘miss bodyguard’ is ignoring him.
🩷 :’Been in the hospital for three days, sorry!’
You decide that's sufficient of an answer before nearly jumping out of your skin as he immediately calls. You laugh before answering the call, being bombarded with questions the moment you press the green button.
“Which hospital, Miss bodyguard? What happened? Are you okay?”
“One question at a time.” You laugh before you start coughing and have to take another sip of water from the plastic cup. Your throat was a bit achy from not being used for three days.
“Which hospital?” Rafayel sticks with his first question, his voice void of his usual playful banter. “Uhm..” you look around for a moment, not exactly remembering the name of the hospital in game before spotting its name on the whiteboard in front of you. “Akso Hospital, room 205.”
“Got it.” Then silence. “Uh…Rafayel?” You say, taking the phone away from your face to notice he had already hung up. You shrug it off before going to your messages with Xavier. Most of the messages were just asking if you wanted to go hunting with him, sending locations, and the most recent one was from a few hours ago with him asking if you were okay.
🩷 :’At the hospital right now, been out for three days! Sorry about that. I might need some help soon though.’
Xavier doesn't immediately call like Rafayel did, instead just exchanges a few texts with you.
💛 :’what happened? are U alright? is it’
🩷 :’Is it what? I'm fine, a bit sore though. I got caught up in an explosion three days ago and have been out since then.’
💛 :’..nevermind that how can U be okay if u were passed out for 3 days? what's the extent of your injuries?’
🩷 :’Just a few bruises, scrapes, a sprained ankle, and…’
💛 :’and what?’
🩷 :’I might have a cool new scar over my eye!’
💛 :’thats not funny..what hospital, i'm coming now.’
You pause your messages, knowing he definitely can't come now if Rafayel is. None of the love interests have ever interacted in the game before, so you're not sure of the consequences just yet.
🩷 :’I'm probably about to sleep again! You can visit tomorrow, the doc gave me some pain medicine that's making me a bit tired and I wanted to talk to you.’
💛 :’alright as long as ur okay. i can wait as long as you need.’
You pout, trying your best not to gush over how sweet Xavier is, and drop your phone as your room door suddenly opens to reveal an exhausted looking, purple haired man. His shirt was haphazardly buttoned, his hair tousled as if he just got out of bed, and panic written all over his face.
“You didn't think to describe the details of your injuries to me?” Are the first words out of his mouth before he shuts the door behind him, walking deeper in the room to grab your plastic cup to drink some water. “You've been out for three days, you shouldn't even be sitting up right now!” He sits down on the chair next to the bed and you reach toward him to try and fix his shirt buttons. The tips of his ears turn red and he pushes backward on the rolling chair. “What're you doing- you're a patient.”
“Your shirt..” You drop your hands into your lap with a small smile.
“Oh-” Rafayel clears his throat, turning the chair to fix his shirt before he rolls the chair back up next to you. With his hand gently cupping the right side of your face, he murmurs, “How did this happen?”
You assume he's probably in shock since you were never scarred like this in any of the past lives you shared with him.
“An explosion from my..” You trail off, lips pressing together in a thin line as you find it hard to say what happened, even though you know they're not your actual family. “..my childhood home. Two casualties.” You finally finish your sentence, not meeting Rafayel's bluish pink eyes as he still cups your cheek.
The silence is almost deafening before Rafayel sighs and drops his hand. “I'm sorry for your loss.” He finally says. “Do you need a hug?”
You quickly shake your head. “If I hug you, I'll cry and I really don't need to..irritate my…” You can't seem to get your words out as your eyes water and no matter how hard you try to stop it, your cheek stings as salty tears run down your still healing wound. Rafayel moves to sit on the side of the bed, guiding your forehead to rest against his shoulder as his arms wrap around you. “We can always get your doctor to fix it, huh? It won't do you any good if you keep your feelings all bottled up now, will it?”
You can't seem to stop crying, even as your breath stutters in your chest and you find it harder to breathe. Sure, you cried when they died while playing but for it to affect you like this? Maybe it's because someone offered to be a shoulder you could lean on.
“Focus on my breathing. Don't hyperventilate on me now, miss bodyguard.” Rafayel murmurs, hand still patting your back as your tears eventually fade and you fall asleep.
Rafayel pulls you back from his shoulder, moving you so you're laid flat on the bed before he grabs a soft tissue to wipe your face, wiping the trail of blood coming from your wound since the salt from your tears irritated it. He then leans forward to kiss your forehead. “I'll see you soon.”
The next time you wake up, your eyes are puffy and your nose is stopped up.
“I see you cried yourself to sleep.” Zayne comments, tilting your head by your chin so he can examine your wound. “You irritated it.” He sighs. “If you don't cry anymore, it'll probably be healed up in two weeks..then you can cry all you want.”
“Well, I'm sorry, I had to cry.” You say with a pout, knowing it's not his fault. “When can I be discharged?”
“After today, your ankle should be better to walk on so tomorrow? But if you want to start work again, I'd say another few weeks.” Zayne finishes writing something down before standing up. “I also did a routine checkup on your heart in case that was the reason you can't use your evol and I don't think that's the case. I believe your evol revolves around your emotions so if you're not confident in it, it won't work.”
“Thank you, Zayne.” You say before taking a sip of the iced coffee that Tara left for you thirty minutes ago. Then you finally shoot Xavier a text to say he's free to come to the hospital whenever he wants, that you'll be discharged tomorrow.
Not even a minute after you sent your message, there was a knock on your door. You look toward the noise before smiling behind your hand. “Come in.”
A silvery blond head pops in from the now opened door before he comes in and shuts the door behind him. “How are you feeling today?” He asks, his soft tired voice sounding a bit more emotional than usual. “Mmh, pretty good. I'd probably feel better if you came a bit closer.” You say, leaning over to pat the chair next to your bed. He quickly comes to sit down, almost as if waiting for the invitation.
“Your eyes are swollen. Did you have a rough sleep last night?”
“No, I..” it's probably best to keep telling the truth for now. “I just cried myself to sleep.” You shrug, trying to play it off as nothing but Xavier isn't falling for it. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“If I cry myself to sleep again, will you hold me?” You ask, raising your left brow before laughing to yourself. “Just thinking about what happened, not being able to save anyone, getting hurt like this…” You feel a hand on top of your own and turn to look at Xavier. “It's not your fault.” He finally says after a moment of silence. A small smile tugging at his lips before he changes the subject, “What is it you wanted to ask me?”
“Oh right!” You sit up before turning your body to face him. “I need you to teach me how to use my gun…and how to fight….aannnd how to use my evol.” You name off each one and tap on your fingers to count them off.
“You..forgot all of that?” His head tilts to the side before he nods his head. “Alright, I can do that. Is there anything else you need?”
“Uh…can you pick me up tomorrow? I don't know where our apartments are…or how to drive my bike either.” You rub the back of your neck and smile sheepishly.
“What else did you forget?” He lets out a small laugh.
“All of Linkon?” You say before adding, “I mean, I remember names but I don't remember where anything is..like Azure Square, UNICORNS HQ, Twinkle Toys, Meow's Café..”
“Don't worry, I'll help with anything I can.” Xavier smiles, his thumb rubbing across the back of your hand.
“Thank you, that means a lot to me.” You smile before looking down at your phone as it buzzes. Rafayel. He's- on his way?
“Actually, could you get me a friend for tomorrow?” You ask, a smile tugging at your lips. “A..friend?” His head tilts to the side until you say, “Can you get me a fox plushie and bring it to me when I'm discharged tomorrow?”
“I-” Xavier laughs before nodding, “Of course I will.” He stands up, looking toward the door. “I'll leave now though, since you seem a bit restless, but I'll make sure you get all the plushies you want.”
Not even five minutes after Xavier leaves, Rafayel is in the room. Almost as if he felt a disturbance in the force that someone was with his lady right now. “Was someone just here?” He asks, trying to act nonchalant as he sits down in the chair.
“No?” You phrase it as a question before you nod your head. “Yeah, the doctor just left. He was upset that I irritated my wound but, at least, I'll be discharged tomorrow! I can't go back to work for another two weeks though.”
“So does that mean my bodyguard is still out of commission?” Rafayel pouts, a hand on his hip. “Well, that's a shame. I had an art expo to go to in a few days and I was wondering if you'd join me.” “Ah…about that,” you clear your throat before telling him all about the troubles with your evol and even not recalling how to use a gun. “Why don't you try resonating now?” He asks, placing his hand on top of yours. “But what do I even do?” You murmur, closing your eyes.
“Do you feel all of that energy coursing through your chest? Try to direct that through your body to your fingers.” Rafayel whispers. “Think of it like paint. If you pour paint on a flat canvas, it spreads all out like crazy. You have to take a paintbrush and direct the paint to where you want it to go. So your evol is the paint and you are the paintbrush.”
That…helps but doesn't help at the same time.
You take a deep breath, trying to silence your mind to be able to focus but it's difficult to have dead silent thoughts. Instead you try to imagine the energy moving from your chest all the way to your hands, which were clasped between Rafayel's much bigger ones. Then, you finally felt it. You were resonati-
You flinch as you’re bombarded with a few blurry memories of your past life with Rafayel; Well, if you didn't know, you would've just been confused but since you played the game, you knew they were of your past lives with him. Though they were blurry, so you didn't catch anything besides a soft ‘my bride’ at the end.
My eyes blink open and you take one hand away from Rafayel to rub your temples. “I think it worked but..” you look at Rafayel, who was uncharacteristically silent. Maybe he saw the same images too?
“Hey, did you see it too?” You ask, which finally gets his attention. “Huh, see what?” He tries to brush it off but you don't let him. “It was kind of blurry but I remember seeing you…in a purple outfit? Oh and you said something at the end.” You tap your bottom lip with your index finger, pretending to try and recall what you saw when, in reality, you only saw a blurry Rafayel. You never saw specific details like that. “You said my bri-”
Rafayel covers your mouth with a hand. “That's enough of that.” His ears were red and he wasn't looking you in the eyes. Then he clears his throat. “Anyway, I'll contact you soon about the expo since you seem to resonate just fine and then maybe I can show you around Linkon City to try and jog your memory.”
He leaves as quickly as he showed up, clearly embarrassed by what you were going to say.
“Cute..” you say to yourself, laughing into your hand before wincing and touching the right side of your face.
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That's it for the first chapter! Since I wrote this on goggle docs, I wasn't sure just how short the chapters were but they'll get longer as we go on! I have a few chapters piled up so even if I don't write for a few weeks, I'll still be able to post. I'd love any feedback or even any explanations of the features on here to make the reading experience a bit better. I've never posted to Tumblr before so I've been just copying what I see from the tags and word count so I think I've done pretty well for my first time. I would love to learn how to do a masterlist though and also a next button, I guess I just have to link the next chapter on it? I'll have to test it out so please bear with me and I hope you enjoyed- and stick around for the chapters to come! 🩷
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace xavier#love and deepspace rafayel#love and deepspace zayne#love and deepspace sylus#lads#lads sylus#lads zayne#lads rafayel#lads xavier#love and deepspace x reader#xavier x reader#rafayel x reader#zayne x reader#sylus x reader#lads x reader#lads smut#love and deepspace smut#rafayel smut#xavier smut#sylus smut#zayne smut
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I'm going for gold, lads, lasses, and other gendered classes!
Do you like visual novels? Do you like stories about the fey? Do you like your entertainment as EDUTAINMENT?
IF SO, BOY HOWDY DO I HAVE A VISUAL NOVEL PROJECT FOR YOU.
youtube
The Good People (Na Daoine Maithe) is a lore-rich and choice-driven romantic visual novel inspired by Irish mythology. Play as an Irish tenant farmer from the mid-19th century, whose path becomes inexplicably entwined with fairy affairs after getting robbed by the roadside and lured into the mythic and war-torn world of Tír na nÓg: A once unified land, now divided into the Seelie and Unseelie Courts. Will you escape with your stolen belongings? Or does fate have something else in mind?
OKAY, BUT WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR YOU, SEEKER OF SEROTONIN?
6 wonderful romantic/PLATONIC options (each love interest can be pursued entirely platonically)
a visual novel whose philosophy is less on anxiety-inducing, arbitrary choices to get a good or bad ending, but instead focuses on if you, the player, are interacting with a character in a healthy or unhealthy manner, leading to player freedom and choice
intelligent and reflective writing that is reflected within character moments and dialogue
and MORE! (so much more!)
WHERE CAN I FIND MORE OUT ABOUT THIS GAME?
Here is the bio link, which has links for the indie developers' social media accounts (Tumblr, Twitter, Discord Server) along with the link to their official website, which has a deep dive into every main NPC and the philosophy of the game. The demo is out now and free on both Steam and Itch.io
(As an official statement: I am in no way employed or affiliated with Moirai Myths and I was not approached in any way to make this post. This is me being a feral fan on main, blazing this post)
EDIT:
HELLO EVERYONE! DID YALL KNOW THE KICKSTARTER FOR THIS GAME JUST LAUNCHED TODAY? NOW YOU DO! MORE DETAILS AND MORE FUN TO BE HAD!
They’re doing voice acting reveals this month, along with an early bird special to see blushing/flirty emotes!
EDIT THE SECOND:
WE HAVE REACHED FULL FUNDING WITH THE GAME! Which is excellent, because it means that my little hyperfixation is gonna be made!
However!
It would be very nice if we could reach some of the stretch goals (which go into depth here: x). Not only are they fun (MC customization, a switch port, expanded voice-over work, more sprites, mini-games, side stories), but I think they'd spark a lot of serotonin for folks playing (myself included).
If this post has interested you at all, please, please, please check out the Kickstarter above! Thank you!
EDIT THE THIRD
Since this is still getting notes beyond my wildest dreams:
Hello! It's been a while! The Kickstarter ended a bit ago (I did not update this post when it did end, due to being ecstatic to how much the project managed to get: 130% funding!), but development is ongoing and strong! The first two routes are in development right now. Please keep tuned at @moiraimyths for official development updates!
#visual novel#kinetic novel#indie otome#otome game#otome#dating sim#interactive fiction#visual storytelling#visual story#romance game#romance visual novel#english otome#otome romance#dating game#gaming#steam#itchio#steam demo#itchio demo#computer game#amare game#amare#Youtube
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masterlist
find me in ao3
well, hello there! c:
i go by the name of arran in the world wide web, she/her, based in the uk and in my 30s era. i have been writing on and off for almost 20 years now on different platforms, but this is really the first time i venture into the fanfic realm in tumblr, so please be nice! >: probably you can tell, but my first language is not english but spanish, so if you spot any spelling mistakes, i apologise in advance lol
i've been obsessed with pedrito for quite a while now, so i thought ― i love writing, i love pedro, and, above everything else, i love love love drama, so why not give in and write some fics? i'm sure i'll find some like-minded people here!
i do appreciate any feedback you may want to share with me, as well as interactions (asks, reblogs, comments, likes, anything really!). also please feel free to drop me a message if there's something you would like me to write, i'm always open to suggestions ♡
please assume all my work is 18+, so mdni! do not repost, translate, nor use my work in any way without my explicit permission either.
i'll try to keep this masterlist as up to date as possible.
love,
arran xx
(find my work under the cut!)
🤭 ― fluff
😳 ― light smut
💘 ― explicit smut
💢 ― dark/sensitive theme
🤕 ― angst
🩸 ― graphic content (violence, gore, etc)
wherever you go
series masterlist status: ongoing. pairing: outbreak!2003!joel x f!reader. summary: after the events of 26th september 2003, you find yourself under the wing of the miller brothers. it's the older one who catches your attention, but also the one who drives you fucking crazy. you inevitably find yourself gravitating towards him while trying to navigate this postapocalyptic word you're stuck in, with more than one unpleasant surprise...
uniformed!joel one shots
series masterlist status: ongoing. pairing: uniformed!joel x f!reader. summary: a series of one shots where we get to see the one and only joel miller and all his sides... as long as he's wearing a uniform, ofc. i'm open to any requests you may have, no matter how wild! check #uniformed!joel to see what's already been suggested. come along, don't be shy!
acta, non verba
series masterlist status: ongoing. pairing: conqueror!marcus x ofc!reader. summary: scotland, 83 AD after the battle of mons graupius. the romans have come up to the boundaries of their empire with a relentless desire to conquer the savages that inhabit the highlands. they won't rest until the Caledonian tribes are subjugated. Marcus Acacius is in charge of your clansmen's fate, but if such fate is similar to your family's, you know you need to do something about it. as the only living daughter of the tribe chief, your people look to you for leadership. power plays, treason, deception, rebellion, war, love, heartbreak, betrayal. and two souls, destined to despise each other, trying to navigate it all.
the way to a great wide somewhere
read here status: completed. pairing: beast!din djarin x f!reader. summary: cursed to spend the rest of his days in Mand'alor, Din Djarin faces a threat that may break his peace: you. -or- a retelling of the beauty and the beast story.
when the moon howls
read here status: oneshot/completed. pairing: javier peña x f!reader. summary: you meet javier in a café during your sabbatical. you see the man that no one does ― the one who is broken, defeated, crushed by his time as a DEA agent. so you make it your purpose to shine some light on his life, one pumpkin spice latte at a time. -or- the story of how you two fall head over heels for each other c:
when the grief howls
read here status: oneshot/completed. pairing: javier peña x f!reader. same couple as "when the moon howls". can be read as a oneshot. summary: javi and you go back to yours after your idyllic pumpkin patch date and he stays over. you comfort him when his demons catch up with him.
#masterlist#pedro pascal character#pedrohub#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#marcus acacius x reader#marcus acacius x you#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal x you#the last of us#tlou#gladiator 2#pedro pascal fanfiction#joel miller fanfiction#marcus acacius#joel miller#pedro pascal#pedro pascal fandom#joel miller smut#marcus acacius smut#smut#enemies to lovers#star wars#the mandalorian#din djarin#din djarin x reader#din djarin x you#javier peña x reader#javier peña x you#javier pena x reader
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𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆
What's coming next in love matters?
This was a requested reading by one of my followers, I hope you enjoy it. The next pac reading will be reality shifting related again, I promise! If you like to read more pac readings from me, feel free to check out my masterlist! If you want to share your experiences and/or give me feedback and/or share pac ideas, I would be very happy if you send me an ask over tumblr !!! (Also, fyi I don't own any of these beautiful pics, I just edited them!)
pick a picture!
picture one
Hello pile one, you will experience a turning point in your love life. The change may have already started subtly and I heard that they may be apparent in rather random acts but remember all fates are part of an interconnected web of repercussion! You’re asked to embrace the change and to be open to new experiences. It’s a time of death and rebirth so to say. You might experience an unexpected windfall. There is something happening right now you’re not fully aware of … like it’s happening behind the scenes. It’s the end of a life cycle. I see fortune coming in for you guys!!
A big change is already happening and a storm might occur soon as well - some problems or inconveniences may arise, it may cloud your view a bit but know that it is a sign of change and of growth! You’re stepping into a new life cycle and growing into your new form. For example, clashes or arguments may happen because of the new energy you’ll embody with people that are used to your old energy. That’s a natural process for both parties to get used to and to accept the transformation that is happening. You're clearing out the gloom and dust of your old life time and making space for the new you. Of course it’s important to work things through with the end goal of reconciliation in mind, be constructive in the way you’re communicating with the people around you. Just know that the rainfall after a storm or after the end of a war can be pretty pleasant! I see you afterwards feeling like lots of burdens have been taken from you.
Regarding the new energy you’ll embody: I see you full of positive and wild energy with an almost childlike optimism - like you could rule the world and nothing can stop you. You’re happy, I see you smiling brightly. You rebel against your past in a very carefree manner, leaving all the past worries behind. Again, you might make a few enemies on your way but just as many friends who can help you on your journey! If you’ve been someone that avoided conflict or just had people pleasing tendencies - you will grow out of this! And it’s for the best because if you want to embody your truest and most authentic form, there will always be people that don’t like it - mostly because they’re jealous! You’ll be more playful, have peak charisma and be full of enthusiasm especially towards love matters.
Your love life might have been pretty dry for a long time… maybe even non-existent lol. But you’ve worked on yourself and focused on other important matters and now you will experience the rewards for it!!
This will be a time of discovery as well. You will experience different sides of yourself. I don’t necessarily see a super duper long commitment coming in right now, I think you will just experiment a bit - getting to know yourself more like in regards to love and sexual matters (personal preferences and such). If you felt like you're behind on experience in regards to such matters in comparison to your peers, there is no reason to feel bad or ashamed because there is no general ‘right’ time to experience those things, there is only a right time for you in accordance to your personal journey, okay? And the time is coming for you, I can assure you. Just focus on yourself and treat yourself with kindness and respect and stay open towards all the new things that will come into your life. (But don’t forget to treat others with respect as well during your ‘rebellious’ journey.)
You will be shining, attracting lots of different suitors, trying out new things… Funnily enough during your reading I heard ‘casanova’ lmao - so you will turn a bit into casanova (regardless of your gender). And that’s perfectly fine! Speaking of gender, I think you might also experiment a bit with your sexuality, having experiences with the same gender and stuff like that. (This is a possibility - of course not for everyone of you but for some I can see it happening.)
Some quotes I got from my oracle for you: ‘Be the flame, not the moth.’; ‘Always be a free agent - promise fidelity to all.’; ‘It’s not destiny, it’s opportunity.’
An angel number that could hold a message for you: 33
I wish you good luck and lot’s of fun my dear pile one😌✨
picture two
Hello my dear pile two, if you were hoping that I will tell you about the love of your life coming soon, I’ll have to disappoint you. Well, 'soon' is a very vague word but you know what I mean. In the upcoming weeks or months, I see you having to gather strength - your own strength - as well as courage. I feel like in the past you often let yourself get used by the people around you, not just by your lovers, I also feel like by your friends and family as well. You undermined yourself and didn’t treat yourself with the respect you deserve especially in regards to relationships (in all forms) and love matters. And it’s coming to bite your a*s…. just kidding lmao. Nothing bad will happen to you but you can’t avoid it any longer, you need to step out of your comfort zone! - And I see you doing so! So, this is good. To be honest, at first it might feel a bit unpleasant and weird but it’s a process and it takes time.
You know, I will just straightforward tell where you’re heading towards. I got the imagery/metaphor of a strong and assertive warrior who uses his intelligence. Someone who is unafraid of leaping into a battle and employing unconventional techniques to win. Someone who is fierce and rebels but ultimately stays loyal towards themselves. A champion.
I guess you could say you’ll transform into a badass queen or femme fatale but I feel like queen fits more because you’re taking your power back, sitting up straight and putting your crown back on your head (- regardless of your gender, adapt it as you see fit please). Your love life itself will rather be ‘passive’ because you have to focus on yourself and be more pickier. You will turn down anyone who is not on your level. You need to treat yourself with respect and especially others have to treat you with the respect you deserve. No more falling for players!! You’re a queen and you only accept people who are on the level of a king. It doesn’t have to be ‘the one’ right away but even a short term lover should fill all the criteria and if they don’t - bye bye!
I know you are strong. But you have to act on this inner strength. Be careful with becoming rude or too ‘arrogant’ because this sometimes happens if we suffer some kind of inferiority complex. You need to step up your game but in a healthy way. I’m not sure if you will experience some kind of bullying or if you’re the one who bullies but there is some message of ‘bullying’. So, be careful with that…I feel like it’s more about you being the one who does so but It could also be both ways… mhm... Anyways, you’re transforming into this ‘queen’ where you’re embodying strength and maybe even power and there will be people in your environment that are not happy about it, more so envious or jealous. So, either way there is potential for conflict. Don’t trust everyone you interact with too quickly! And don’t share too much from your personal life with others! Some people won’t have your best interest in mind. There is even a possibility of someone sabotaging relationships or partnerships; again, this could go both ways - you doing it or others trying to do it on you.
In your love life you will become someone who can defend themselves and who can fight back if necessary. ‘Don’t mess with me’- vibes. You won’t allow other people to play you anymore. Your inner strength will sky-rocket. You will build trust in yourself and face your ‘inner wild sides’ which you might have kept hidden for a long time. You will focus on your instincts… your raw, maybe even sexual instincts. Because you need to learn how to deal with them correctly and use them efficiently and not just to repress them. They will give you so much more energy and strength - strength you didn’t even know you had! You will be more independent and more able to trust and rely on yourself. You learn how to handle yourself in the correct way and this is great, especially for your future love life because if you don’t know how to handle yourself correctly how should your partner learn how to treat you correctly! With this growth period you will do the first step and show everyone the right way to treat you. On a side note, I feel called out to use another expression than ‘queen/king’ as well... This might be specific confirmation for some. So, in other words, in the upcoming time your love life might be more passive for now but you will focus on yourself and become the ‘trophy wife/husband material’ that you desire to be. I know some people think badly about these expressions but I would say that in our modern times, instead of just having a pretty appearance and being seen as just a nice 'accessory ' I would describe them as people who are physically pretty and very charming AND who have manners, skills and intelligence and know how to use them for their benefit and who are powerful, abundant and successful in public/business but also in their private life and have everything under control or at least appear like they have everything under control. Like the whole package yk. Maybe you guys will physically glow up or upgrade your wardrobe with high quality clothes and accessories. Either way, you will come out of this period shining brightly!
Some quotes I got from my oracle for you: ‘Beauty is power - so use it rather than lose it.’; ‘Age is just a number - irrelevant, unless it’s a vintage wine.’; ‘Everyone is a potential character for a novel.’
An angel number that could have a message for you: 94
I wish you good luck, I’m sending blessings out to you my dear pile two💖
picture three
Hello pile three! I can already tell you that happy times are coming! The first card that I got for you was the happily-ever-after ending card! It’s like you’re reaching a victorious conclusion after a difficult journey. You finally get a positive outcome - the most desired one even ... like a wish fulfillment! You will also get recognition for something which will feel like a triumph for you. You might also attend some parties or events celebrating something. I see you having lots of fun, enjoying yourself … I even want to add ‘for the first time in your life’! I also see pleasurable encounters and intimacy with others.. maybe while dancing with someone? Or while going a little further? lol… Anyways, I see you getting out of your shell more. If you’ve been someone who often shut people out of their life or rejected any potential suitors preferring to be on your own because you found all those love related things ‘cringey’ (I feel mainly because you had issues with intimacy), this will be a bit different in the upcoming time! You've been warned…just kidding. There is nothing to fear because I can see you truly having fun.
In addition, I also see that many opportunities will arise/many doors will open for you! Many interesting potential suitors? Soulmates even? To be honest it doesn’t have to be limited to your love life but there will definitely be a few love related opportunities for you! Again, I have cards hinting at a great wish getting fulfilled and that you have potential for success in these times. You will also discover and develop new talents/skills which might be more important than any material treasure or rather more essential to your life. It is being said that you have the key within yourself to solve any kind of problem or in other words: You yourself are the key.
But you’re being advised to also try to give others the key to your heart! In the upcoming days and weeks, you won’t hide or isolate yourself anymore, you will let other people into your world! And that is good. It’s time to mingle with people. You will be more open to new things, towards other people and in your relationships with others but you should try not to be ‘too’ trusting. Ok that might sound contradicting or even funny to you because I feel like you are not the type to easily trust others and that is totally fine, you have your reasons. You’re not asked to easily give out your trust to others but you should stop pushing people away and not even giving other people the opportunity or chance to gain your trust!
The advice here is just to be careful with ambiguousness in other people’s behavior and words and take notice of any contradictions and inconsistencies between them. Through that you will discover other people’s hidden motives. Always ask yourself: cui bono - who does benefit from it? You will develop a keen eye for this in the upcoming days and weeks. Of course sometimes disappointing things happen but they are a part of love just like the intimate moments of affections that make us happy. Everyone experiences these bad moments but that shouldn’t be the reason to exclude ‘love’ from one’s life completely.
I feel like you might not like to hear this (or hated hearing this while growing up) but you should definitely go out there more! Don’t hide yourself from the world or from the people - especially now! You should also enjoy your life, experience all those beautiful things because you deserve to have moments where you feel your heart beating, where you’re full of excitement, where you’re at peace with yourself and in the presence of someone else. And you should treasure those moments. So, be open towards love matters (potential suitors, love offers and opportunities) but don’t let yourself be fooled by any kind of deception, you’re smarter than that. If you have any plans like getting into a relationship or wooing someone specific, be slick …maybe even a little cunning while making plans and taking action! There is a chance of meeting a soulmate or just like minded people whose company you’ll enjoy greatly! If you’ll face any opponents, beat them at their own game with the same ‘weapons’! I can assure you, you are in control and luck is on your side! Anything you try to do now, will probably be a success. This is your time now. :)
Some quotes I got from my oracle for you: ‘Treasure those seconds when you felt your heart beating.’; ‘Don’t allow any tourists into your own private Paris.’; ‘To love someone and mean it is a rare and valuable thing.’
An angel number that could have a message for you: 102 ( or 10 and 2 separately )
Great times are ahead for you, I’m sending my blessings out to you pile three. 🔥
#pac#pac reading#pick a card#pick a card reading#pick a picture#love reading#free tarot reading#tarot reading#loa#law of assumption#manifestation#love pick a card#spritituality#love tarot#love pac#shifting#࣪ pick a card𓈒 𐙚
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love trending
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pairing changbin x reader
genre romance, meet cute, love at first sight, humor, fluff
summary somehow, someway, seo changbin finds and likes a TikTok of yours, and you think that single like is the end of your fleeting encounter. but fate has other plans...
a/n hi, hello, hope everyone is doing well! so how many times do we think i can sneak post on roo's tumblr before she removes my access. lol anyway. this is her birthday present that i totally didn't write in literally two nights on a whim. and misled her about the plot (but not really). i hope everyone enjoys, and happy birthday roo :)
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You'll be honest - most of the time you hate your job.
It's not about the people, or the place, but mainly because you would much rather spend your time doing anything else. Singing, drawing. The puzzle books your aunt got you last year that you never found the time to glance in. Dancing, above all else. Moving to the music, dropping on beat, and matching that rhythm perfectly...the views on TikTok didn't really matter to you at the end of the day, because at least you were able to do something that you loved.
Performing on your own time, doing your own thing. It was freeing, and exciting, and made your chest swell up in pride when you looked in the mirror and were happy with what looked back at you. You weren't someone held down by the push and go of life, when you danced, or after.
You were exactly who you wanted to be.
"You know I think your break was up like, five minutes ago," Seulji whispers as she slides into the booth next to you, shoulder bumping with yours. "Do you think anyone noticed?"
"Aren't you supposed to be serving customers?" you say without looking up from your phone, flicking to the next social media post. Your lips curve in a smile when one of your favorite groups pops up, starting a live. You click into it, and send a few hearts as soon as you're able to. Your chest fills - something small to help get you through the day. It was nice having silly little things like this to look forward to from a music group you enjoyed listening to.
"Only when they ask," Seulji quips, sliding closer, tone playful. She's been your co-worker for ages, and you got along better than most, sarcasm your second language. The customers always left gleaming reviews about the two of you, so the manager was lenient. You really couldn't complain.
Until Seulji glances at your phone screen and the teasing begins.
"Your boyfriend's doing a live again?" she questions with a knowing curve to her lips.
You blush, stomach twisting with an emotion you don't know how to name. Sure, you were a little too interested at times, but what was wrong with that? You weren't over the top, or crazy, or...anything you wouldn't want to admit. You were just up to date on their next shows, the newest album, the cutest member of the group...
"Stop that," you chide quietly, pulling your phone closer. "And this isn't even the right one."
At the end of the day, Seulji was just playing around, and you knew that. She had even gone the extra mile to try and learn some of their names, though she was still confusing one or two. But still -
"Oh right, sorry. Wrong arms," she groans, though she's still smiling wide. "Is this one...Hyunjin?"
You're happily shocked. Had she finally dived into the video folder you'd left sitting open for her a few weeks ago? You knew it was a slippery slope; it was easy to sink in once you were hooked. Maybe she finally took the bait. "Yes, actually," you say, turning to give her a look, "how did you know?"
Seulji shrugs, busy fiddling away on her own phone.
She's probably texting her boyfriend. It was all she ever did these days, and the thought didn't make you all that jealous. Or maybe it did? You weren't sure. All you knew was that they got together one Friday evening through a cupcake prom ask, and it was all Seulji did since. It was maybe the one thing she did that left a bad taste in your mouth, but what did you know? Maybe you would act the same if you ever got a boyfriend of your own, though the ten cats and barn idea was still something you were starting to prefer after every failed attempt at a date.
The bell above the front door rings a few times then, and you lift your head once you notice that the chatter around your hidden corner booth has grown. The line for coffee and pastries has grown enough that the two left behind the counter have grown frantic, rushing around each other. The manager is busy dealing with a very not nice-looking customer at the end, going over their receipt line by line.
You exhale and drag yourself out of the booth, throwing your phone in your pocket and fixing your apron as you go, strapping your hat around your messy bun. "Wish me luck," you tell Seulji, who gives a wave of her hand and a few words of encouragement in response before turning back to her phone.
The sudden crowd is easy to manage once you get back into the swing of things, and the noise of the small cafe has died down considerably as you turn back around to help the next customer in line, who was hiding behind the rest of the line in a baseball cap and a dark sweatshirt and baggy pants. A face mask covers the bottom half of his face as he greets you, eyes crinkling with his hello.
And something about his eyes, the tone of his voice, the rough edge - you swear you've heard it before.
For a long moment, you just look at him, lost in thought. Why did he seem familiar? You don't think you've met him before, because you were usually good with faces, but this was throwing you off. It was a nice day out too, why would someone be so keen to be hidden when -
"I might sound absolutely crazy but do I know you, somehow?" The words are flying out of your mouth before you can stop them, and you are mortified, but then to your surprise, he simply laughs and ducks his head, fingers fumbling around the crumpled money he holds in his hands.
When he lifts his head again, he's looking right at you, searching for something. After a minute that feels as though it lasts for eternity, it seems he finds whatever it was he was looking for, and leans in, one arm against the counter. He lifts a hand up to tug his mask down, and you're meant with the softest smile you've ever seen, and a face you would never forget.
Your heart jumps, and you wonder if you gasp out loud by accident.
"Oh my god," you whisper, barely able to contain yourself. But there's still a good amount of people in the shop, and he obviously left the house in the best disguise he could muster, so the last thing you want to do is be the cause of him being recognized by anyone else, especially if he seemed to trust you enough to reveal who he was in the first place. "What are you doing here?"
You're so dumb, you think a second after the words have left you, and you're preparing yourself for him to say it right back to you, but he simply chuckles and gives a small wave of his hand. "I'm hungry," he replies easily, grinning, an echo of a long-lost moment you swear you've watched on a few too many times. "Where else would I go?"
You're absolutely freaking out.
You can't believe this is happening right now, let alone to you. Oh gosh, what if someone sees? What if you say something too loud? You want to say his name but then you're too afraid you'll draw too much attention, and what with phones and cameras everywhere these days, but oh good god it's Seo Changbin in front of you and you have never felt more like a fangirl until this very moment.
"I'm - oh my," you stumble and stutter for a moment, and your face is burning hot, and your stomach is fluttering and your chest is tight, and all too suddenly you don't understand what is happening as your next breath falters in your throat -
And then a warm hand is gently gripping at your wrist.
"Hey," he says. Kind. Far too kind. "Take a deep breath for me." He pauses, and gives a tiny squeeze to your skin. "Can you do that for me?"
You nod, and then blink, once, twice. Your eyes lock with his, tracing his every feature. The concerned turn to the corner of his lips, the look in his eyes. The unruly curls that have fought their way from under his cap. The warmth of his palm pressed against your arm.
An idol is standing in front of you, and you've gone and made yourself out to be a complete fool. You're definitely someone special alright.
Eventually, you're able to push some air through your lungs. Your chest shudders with one breath, and then another, and another, until you're able to properly breathe again, and you exhale, shaking your head as soon as you're able to.
"I'm so sorry," you mumble, feeling ashamed. You're wasting his time, and there's customers still waiting, and you can feel your manager looking over at you like you've done something wrong. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean - I don't know what came over me."
Changbin's hand slips from your wrist. You miss the contact more than you'd like to admit.
"Please don't apologize," he rebukes, leaning back. He doesn't bother to put his mask back. "Are you feeling better?"
"Yes," you're quick to say, moving back over to the register. "Thank you. Sorry again." He looks happier now, eyes locked on you. His hand lingers on the counter, money nearly forgotten. If you had no restraint, you'd reach down and hold his hand. Something tells you to just say what you want to say. You decide to listen to it. "Thank you for the music that you guys make. You're amazing, and you probably don't remember but you - you liked a dance of mine a few weeks ago. I just wanted to say that it meant a lot to me. Sorry for the cringey caption."
Changbin shifts, and then...is he...blushing? You must be going crazy, or seeing things.
"I remember, actually. You were amazing."
He moves again, and you glance down, trying to avoid his gaze. You feel like some giddy schoolgirl, and you needed to reel it in. A few minutes longer and your manager would be over asking what was wrong. Be thankful and move on, right? He said he was hungry, maybe he'd like a coffee too. You could do that at the very least. Maybe he'd -
"Can I..." he stops and sighs, holding his phone out now, looking over to the left. His cheeks are dark enough for you to not be imagining anything. "Can I have your number?"
You look over at him, and then down at his phone.
You take it.
And then you put in your number, and pretend you don't see the smile he tucks into his shoulder.
---
---
Logically, you know this is the worst way to go about this. You know you'll come to regret this in the morning, mortified and blushing. And yet, as he pushes you back against the wall, and kisses you like no one else ever has, you find that you can't really bring yourself to care about what you might think of yourself in the morning.
This isn't just some random guy kissing you - this is Seo Changbin. The Changbin. The one who sought you out of millions, billions even, of users and took it upon himself to like your TikTok. And not just any TikTok, but the one of you dancing silly and stupid, a cheesy caption dazzled with hearts and arrows around his name below it.
God, the embarrassment.
(God, the thought of him seeing you out of trillions - )
"Y/N," he breathes, hot breath fanning across an exposed collarbone, shivers racing down your spine. You hadn't even noticed him pulling away, so lost in...in all of this, speechless and dumb and flushed, and then he presses a kiss to the cusp of your shoulder, and you positively melt.
You want to say something, anything, but it's hard to talk when all you can focus on is the feel of his lips, and the warmth of his chest pressing against yours, and the curve of his arms your fingers can barely wrap around -
He bites down, and your cheeks burn at the sound that escapes you, pleasant shock coursing through your body. You feel his smirk pressing against your skin, before he makes sure to take care of you, and then he's back to kissing your lips, and you wondered how you even made it through the concert.
He's gentle. Kind. It almost annoys you how careful he's being, pushing close to the limit, and then backing away before he breaks it. He's a tease like this, and you're not sure if he's doing this on purpose or waiting for you to make the first move, so you decide to make things clear. He's kind, but you know there must be something else hiding beneath, ready to take control and leave you gasping for breath.
"I won't break," you whisper, pulling away just enough that your lips brush his in the intermittent. "Just so you know." He breathes heavily against you for a long moment, one of your fingers trailing along his arm before coming to a stop on his chest, resting your palm flat against it, right where his heart is.
You swear you feel it skip a beat, and wonder how your own doesn't stop beating.
The next moment is a blur of movement as Changbin wraps his arms around your middle and lifts you up, kissing you madly as he carries you towards the couch that sits on the other side of the room, your heart racing. He holds you above it for a long moment, and then tosses you down, enough that your back bounces against the springs, but he's climbing on top of you before you can worry that you'll tumble to the ground, thick arms boxing you in.
You look up at him as he stares down at you, getting lost easily in his eyes so close to your own. He's beautiful really, up close like this, flawless honey skin and an easy smile. Saying he's handsome doesn't do him justice when he's close like this, and you find yourself at a loss for words again.
How could anyone not like him?
"I like you," he says, leaning in close. "A lot more than I should."
A feeling you can't put a name to erupts in your stomach, leaving room for nothing else. You don't know how it's possible for somebody to be this charming, on and off the screen, and you don't know how someone like this decides on you when he could have anyone else in the world.
You don't know how that makes you feel, really, when he looks at you like you are the very world itself.
"I - I like you too," you whisper, though you nearly stumble your way through, his eyes crinkling at the corners as laughs, the sound encompassing the room. "A lot."
He closes the distance, his lips brushing against your own. "I noticed," he teases, and you wonder if your cheeks can get any more red. "Is this okay?"
You nearly laugh out loud at the question, though it warms your heart that he even asked in the first place. How would this ever not be okay? Your past self would be screaming, and your future self probably still is. "Yes," you say, eyes flickering between his own and his lips, "A million times yes."
He kisses you rough then, pushing closer, arms closing you in.
You kiss back and tell yourself that you won't regret one single thing.
#stray kids#stray kids smau#skz smau#seo changbin#changbin x reader#seo changbin x reader#skz#skz fluff
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Sometimes It's Fated (Sandman Short Story Part 8)
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7
GIF: Originally posted by @darklinsblog
Pairing: Morpheus/Dream of the Endless x AFAB reader
Summary: Reader Self-Insert. After restoring the Dreaming and locating the missing dreams and nightmares, Morpheus turns his attention to finding you, the human he believes fate has chosen for him. (Title inspired by Placebo's "This Picture".)
Warnings: Minors DNI. Dark!Morpheus. Soulmates. Angst. Obsessive and possessive behaviour. Nightmares. Violence. Dub/non con. Kissing. Nudity. AFAB + AMAB penetrative sex. Unprotected sex. Plot related cigarette use. Language.
Word Count: 4.3k
A/N: Hello there! I wasn't intending on posting this chapter until I had the others finished but I guess Tumblr took that decision away from me and published instead of saving! Oh well, guess I'll roll with it. As always, I hope you enjoy and would be very happy to hear your thoughts. All my love, Saskia xx
Sandman Masterlist
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The combination of the darkened clouds and the even more desaturated décor is making the room despairingly claustrophobic.
Sporadic breaths rattle up and down your trachea; a remnant of the fear that had been created by the tail end of that conversation. You are struggling to make sense of the direction it had taken; the barrelling downward spiral whereby you discovered your newfound status.
No longer do you hold the lone title of soulmate. You are a captive.
At least that's what Morpheus made it sound like. The word is shudder inducing and a fresh trickle of bile spills into your mouth.
The door he left through, the one blocking your freedom, you are standing close enough to it that you can see every grain and groove of the ebony wood - and the curious absence of a handle or lock. With a flattened hand you gingerly press against the varnished surface, upping the pressure when you don't appear to have tripped any alarms. There's no movement no matter how hard you push, not that you really anticipated any. Morpheus said locked in for a reason. Regardless, you feel that you needed to try just in case he had changed his mind. Again, an eventuality that you do not expect.
You get the sense that Morpheus' grasp of stubbornness would rival that belonging to a group of at least 100,000 people; he is a ruler, and a centuries-old one at that. Accustomed to being in control, well versed in the art of exerting it.
He's chilling too. That nightmare quality really won out just now. You have seen darkness in his eyes before, (brought on by intense moments including sexual desire) and the effects he can have on the environments surrounding him, but this was a whole new breed.
The deflection. The disdain. The remorselessness. How the shadows had danced around him like crude oil twisting in water, a cloak of obscurity and energy to drive you away and leave you isolated.
And your relentlessness was the catalyst for it being unleashed. You're unsure as to why you brought up the theoretical consequences of refusing to be his soulmate. It had just slipped out. There were numerous other ways in which you could have handled the situation yet that was the conversational path you took.
You shudder again, wrapping your arms around your middle in an attempt to self-soothe. It provides a measure of relief but also draws attention to the fact that he should be doing this. Morpheus should be holding you. Talking this through with you.
Instead he left you standing on the marble floor, the intrinsically endothermic nature of the material causing iciness to seep up your legs via your bare feet.
Seeking warmth, you move back to the bed and dejectedly lie down.
The usual covered plate of food has appeared on the bedside table; your expression is so obviously rattled that you can see every detail despite the metal's distortion. You roll over, not wanting to contemplate eating for even a second.
Your entire body is tense, with epicentres in your tight chest and thought-clogged brain, the latter of which is showing signs of inducing a migraine. You breathe with steady intent, a review of the encounter relentlessly replaying.
One question keeps rising to the surface, getting louder and more insistent with each iteration:
Why was he doing this?
He had said it was to protect you. That it was dangerous outside. Was the dream world suddenly that different now that you had free will? Surely he would have led with that if it were true. Found a way to make it safe...
He's been unfalteringly devoted to you in every other way thus far. The aftercare looked to be proof enough of his character. The reassurance, and explanations during the soul-tying. Holding you. Staying beside you while you slept, even though he did not require the rest himself.
But then there is the distinct lack of sharing, both of his internal and external worlds, and of course the 'it is not your place to do so' comment.
That one really stings. You had been convinced that you were his equal. Yet the way the words fell so easily from his mouth, without hesitation nor any sign of an underpinning emotion - it sounded like a response that was not uttered in the heat of the moment.
How were you to know though?
You've not known him for that long and it's not like you can tell from the bond between you, even now after days of longing to and trying to pick up on something, anything that would inform you of his heart. The one thing you can attempt to read into is the state of the ceiling sky; you are getting a sense that it is linked directly to his moods. Its sudden deterioration the moment you had voiced your concerns couldn't have been a coincidence, could it?
The more you grapple for meaning, the harder you are finding it to reconcile the evidence before you, so conflicted on your opinion of him, of the situation. Yet no amount of speculation and reframing could take away from the few facts you have:
The Fates had told you of an unfathomably long imprisonment that Morpheus had endured and suffered in.
So why was he putting you in a parallel of that?
How can someone who is supposed to be your soulmate be so unreadable to you, and so inexplicably cruel?
You curl into a ball, groaning out loud in frustration.
You ponder if there is something defective within you, if he can see something that you are too human to perceive. Maybe you deserve this on some level because you are not quite enough for him.
"No," you say out loud, firmly casting that contemptuous thought out of your mind.
You will not go in for self-loathing or self-pity. You are strong and capable and compassionate. Morpheus is still your soulmate. You can fix this. Once he's back, you will talk about this.
The resolution seems to lessen the lingering despair enough that you unwittingly fall asleep.
-----------------------------
There's an anticipatory undercurrent to the chatter being passed back and forth across the circular tables spaced evenly across the function room.
You're sat at one such table, the hands folded in your lap occasionally brushing against the heavy dark blue velvet draped over the wood, the feel of the material's sumptuous pile triggering pleasant goosebumps.
Ice laden water jugs and bowls of savoury snacks occupy the middle of the table, and each seat is designated by a placeholder. Your name is displayed in a bold font across the folded piece of stiff card in front of you and the names of all your colleagues have been typed out on matching markers.
The lighting could be described as ambient, moody even - a strange choice for such a celebratory event. The strongest source of light is directed towards a projection screen, where the order of events are being presented.
You thumb the lock screen button on the right hand side of your phone to check the time. 20:28. The scheduled break is due to end soon. You take a sip of water from the tumbler stamped with your lipstick and wait.
The microphone on the podium clicks and crackles as it is brought back to life and all heads turn in unison towards the man standing there. A spotlight provided by the professional lighting rig suspended above is ignited, the light from it so bright that it obscures every feature on his face.
His tone is light as he reels off a few formalities, making a joke about the speed of which some individuals had headed to the bar come the start of the interval, eliciting a sequence of throaty laughs from the crowd. He then jumps back into the award giving.
"This person, I know for a fact has really been putting in the effort with developing the traits required to truly embody this accolade and everything it stands for. Taking gullible to the next level, allowing themself to be debased and shutting down all logical reasoning. A veritable inspiration of inconsequentiality; therefore, it comes as no surprise that the award for most worthless human goes to -"
He pauses for effect, and the entire room watches on with baited breath.
Condensation beads slip down the outside of the jug closest to you, mirroring a perspiration bead that has begun to slide from your nape. You look away from the stage, feeling an impending sense of doom slink into your stomach with the nausea that suddenly washes over you. Your intuition is well-founded.
The microphone wheezes as the man inhales the breath needed to deliver the announcement.
He says your name.
The applause that follows is rapturous; a chorus of hollers and whistles punctuating the clapping. It's like you're at a rock concert.
None of it aligns with the damning description of the award name. Under no circumstance do you want to go and accept it; doing so would show that you agree with the committee.
You sneak a glance over your shoulder, wincing at the harsh fluorescents spilling in from the foyer through the set of double doors - that is where you quietly need to get to.
You're pushing your chair back slowly and carefully, about to attempt this surreptitious exit when a spotlight hits you. The hand going for your bag freezes mid-reach.
It's as if a tractor beam has been activated. You cannot stop yourself from standing, cannot stop yourself from walking on the scuffed wooden floor, made that way from years of dancing.
The journey to the stage on your shaky legs is long, given your distance from it, intensified even further by the stares of your peers. You go up the steps at the side of the stage, jelly legs adding risk with the slight elevation. You grip the handrail in a white-knuckled fist.
The award waits on the podium: an oversized key on a black plinth, the golden colour of the metal glints temptingly. With your gaze turned downwards, the man shakes your hand with the pressure of a constrictor, praising you with words that you can't hear above the continued applause.
You force your mouth into a smile and ready yourself to take the award, telling yourself that being gracious is the best approach you can take.
Unfortunately, in your moment of acceptance, someone decides to take advantage.
There's a blow to the back of your knee caps.
You cry out from shock and pain; the sound doesn't last long for as soon as your knees make impact with the boards, a gag is forced into your mouth.
The situation and the gag make it hard to breathe in any way other than frantically, pulse just as agitated in your tight-feeling chest.
The crowd's clapping doesn't stop even as intricate restraints are added at your wrists, even as burning tears and sticky snot stream down your face.
The agony intensifies when you are hauled up by your hair and then herded by several pairs of hands towards the wings of the stage. Your eyes fall on the opaque box that stands just out of view of the crowd.
Its purpose is clear. It is to be your cage.
You're now screaming despite the gag, thrashing as you're dragged towards your doom. Not even allowing yourself to be a dead weight can save you; the cloying fingers are too numerous, too zealous.
The door to the cage opens and the presence of the oppressive void within ekes out towards you like a disturbing fog. Whatever is in there, you can sense it will smother you. Obliterate you slowly. And the people in this room seem to believe you are worthy of such a fate.
The hands anchored on your body begin their last pushes. You whip your head around, making a last attempt to search for an escape when you see a figure out the corner of your eye.
There's no questioning who it is; the person who has been on the periphery of so many dreams these past weeks, you would know him anywhere.
You see a glimpse of movement. Perhaps the raising of a hand. A ripple of power courses through the scene - you feel it vibrate in your chest. Everything freezes, and in that sudden silence you hear Morpheus' solemn and decisive words:
"This dream is over."
You startle, a shriek echoing about the sunless space as you are ripped from the dream. The sheets have you wrapped up like a python; you try with desperation to get free, half-convinced that those relentless hands are still trying to ferry you into that cage.
Floundering, you work and work against the fabric, crying out again when your progress is minimal.
"Soulmate."
Morpheus' deep voice sounds, speaking your name next in such an intimate and gentle way that you instantly halt in your struggle.
He is beside you.
All the attributes of concern are in his facial expression and body language, eyes glistening with an emotion you can't quite place.
"It is over now," he confirms, dissolving the sheet into nothing.
He comes closer, stroking your face with one hand, the other atop your chest with the palm centred on your soul. It's a welcome feeling, his attentions and being free from the tangle of sheets, but you are too far gone for it to stop the fear that the nightmare has set in motion.
"When you said that it was not my place to accompany you, is it because you think I'm less than you?" You ask in a cracking, pitiful voice.
Morpheus stills for a heartbeat, before bending his head to look you straight in the eyes. "No," he breathes. "My soulmate, I could never think that."
He kisses you softly.
It's not what you expected but nevertheless your hands cling to him on instinct, kissing him back and then he's suddenly straddling you. Covering your body with his own to give you a feeling of safety and it's exactly what you require.
You're on the verge of tears from it all, touching the back of his neck, gripping his shoulders to keep him close.
"Morpheus," you call.
"I am here. I am not going anywhere."
He kisses you deeper this time as if to corroborate his statement. It incrementally lessens your doubts and anxieties but there's a call for communication too.
"We need to talk about what happened," you say with quiet assertion.
For a moment, you wonder if he has even heard you for he claims your mouth again.
"I do not wish to talk," he eventually replies, immediately diving back in for yet another kiss. "I wish to take away your anguish."
"But -"
He hushes you, a soothing shut down that would be infuriating if not for the lingering unease of the nightmare clogging your emotions. "Let us forget what was said. Let us instead indulge in the pleasure of each other's bodies."
You blink, slowly processing his explicit inference, taken aback by the very obvious physical reactions they inspire. You force yourself to adopt a professional expression as your arousal begins to leak onto your gown.
"I want to talk to you."
He's smiling smugly as he tilts his head to the side. "Your emotions betray you dearest, as does your body. I know exactly what you want and it is not conversation."
Shame rises but is quickly blotted out by Morpheus' next action.
You feel bare skin against yours; he's used his power to disrobe you as well as him. A protest forms - he stifles it with his mouth. Your eyes are wide as you take it, as he shifts his weight ever so slightly to align your hips.
His own eyes stare you down after he pulls back, unblinking like an apex predator who has caught sight of its favourite prey.
Easy prey.
That's what you are.
He arranges you as such too; grasping your legs and moving your knees to your chest to bend you in half. Pinning you underneath him.
Neither of you last long with the tightness of the angle once you allow him to enter you.
To say you are dazed afterwards would be an understatement. The events of the past few hours have been persistently erratic. If Morpheus feels the same then it isn't apparent. The colour of his eyes are as clear and stable as the weather above, hand warming his favoured spot on your chest.
Your own hands wander up and down his body, running smoothly over his enticing skin.
"You have not touched your food," he comments quietly.
One of your palms moves absentmindedly to trail lazily across your abdomen. "If I'm being honest, I've been struggling to eat since I got here. For some reason I have no appetite or thirst."
"That would be a result of the immortality."
Your hands freeze up, brain doing the opposite as it spins out in a hundred directions.
"W-what did you say?" You stammer, praying you have misheard him.
"The immortality," he clarifies. "My power is within you and with it, comes certain endurances."
You sit up and put some space between you both. This was a serious matter. Despite your empty stomach you feel like you are going to vomit.
"How long have you known that?"
"It does not matter."
Red rag to a bull doesn't come close to covering what his dismissive reply makes you feel. The set of your jaw is so tight that a section on the left side begins to feather. You talk through gritted teeth, levelling a furious glare at him - making it transparent that you are not going to tolerate his evasiveness any longer:
"Tell me how long."
He makes the smart decision to pause to select his reply, though you decipher from the suddenly overcast sky that it is not going to be one that you will like.
"Since our souls joined."
Your hand flies to your chest, to your soul as tears start to brew.
"That was days ago!"
Morpheus simply looks at you.
"Did you not think that I had a right to know about something as life changing as that?"
He opens his mouth to respond but you cut him off before he can issue a syllable.
"Please can you give me some time alone?"
Morpheus' intense stare - the one that had gone from intimidating to exhilarating - has now become distressing and you need to get out from under it.
To his credit, he does what you asked and the moment the door is closed, the tears you have been holding back start to flow freely. The ceiling sky is so crowded with dark clouds that you are convinced that it's going to do the same as your eyes.
You feel like you've been tricked. You didn't ask for this, nor were you consulted.
The gilding has fully tarnished now, revealing that things were too good to be true. And had been from the very beginning. You had been swept up in the haze of sexual satisfaction, too blinded by the soul bond to see clearly. The nightmare had spelled it out flawlessly: gullible, debased and without logical reasoning.
The previous success in derailing your self-loathing falls short now. You are bolting down the path of internal admonishment.
How could you have been so naïve?
The answer is your hubris. It had felt good to be finally wanted, chosen to be a part of something bigger than yourself by making a difference to the Dreaming. Unless you had misunderstood.
No, the Fates had told you it in no uncertain terms. What they hadn't done however was provide a time frame. You had stupidly assumed it would be effective immediately. Instead you could be looking at decades, centuries even with this newfound information.
Even with the promise of eventual fulfilment, there was little chance that you would last for years in this room with your sanity intact.
You need distraction from the demoralising thought so you bluster through your bathroom routine like a whirlwind, slamming containers down where possible and huffing out exasperated sounds.
While the gown has re-materialised on the hook by the shower, you are dead set against putting it back on. You go to the bedside table and dive into the drawers to find your clothes from the night of the award ceremony, uncovering the cigarettes and lighter you forgot had been hidden there.
You don't even think before lighting one up, hoping that the nicotine will take the edge off your despair. You are quick to finish it and the clarity it brings encourages you to have a second. And then a third.
From the combination of your reclined position on the sheets and the dainty way you hold each cigarette, you can't help but feel like a 1940s starlet. It injects a bit of delirious humour, and also gumption into the mix.
"You are not at fault here," you whisper out loud. "He is the one who has an understanding of how soulmates work. He withheld that. You are allowed to be pissed off with him and you should let him see it."
-----------------------------
By the time Morpheus returns, you are in full possession of your wits and sit perched at the foot of the bed. You regard each other; he appears a touch drawn out, eyes subdued and a small line marking the space between his eyebrows.
"You have been smoking," he states flatly.
Buoyed by the confidence gifted to you by said activity, you inhale the scent of the lingering bluish fog, flashing a sardonic smile as you audibly breathe out, labouring the point with the pleasurable sigh.
"What else was I supposed to do while I waited for you to come back?" You cross your legs and smooth out a non-existent wrinkle in the bedclothes you meticulously rearranged.
The effects of your sarcasm are immediate; the air is becoming ominously dense, threatening to unleash a storm of epic proportions. Morpheus' fists clench and the pressure is dampened a fraction.
"Give them to me," he asks in a monotone.
"No."
Your connection is so devoid of dissonance at this point. Morpheus is stone carved. The kind of impenetrable that would shred and destroy finger nails; there is no point in trying to claw your way to the being beneath. The apathy sends your anger to new heights, compelling that shamefully vindictive part of you into lashing out. You want to hurt him just as he has hurt you.
"They're the only thing I have left from my real life."
A lethal quality seeps into his reply, "That life ended the moment you stepped out onto that street."
"Well then I should have run from you that night," you provoke further, tone biting as glacial ice on exposed skin.
The same shadows from before are crowding about his person, settling in his eyes - a tell that you have unleashed the nightmare form. You have to actively remind yourself to breathe at an even pace. All things you had queued up to say to him are long gone as you gaze upon his dark majesty.
"Even if you had been able to evade me, hide your physical body, I would have found you the moment you fell asleep."
The tether on his control slips as a single bolt of lightning turns the room to a white-out. The thunder never comes, instead the rumble of his voice.
"Do not think that I had not anticipated a refusal. I was more than prepared to use force to get what I wanted. What I was promised. I will not share you with anyone. You are mine. My soulmate. You -"
He stops unexpectedly and head snapping to look at the door.
You roll your eyes. "Let me guess, something requires your attention."
He takes in a deep breath. "I will return shortly."
You watch sullenly as he leaves you behind yet again, about to resume smoking when you feel an urge to re-examine the door. It is as pointless as before; no handle nor locks. Your fists hit the mahogany once, then twice before your composure fully deteriorates and you begin to hammer on it. Not because you are hoping to snag someone's awareness, for you heard it from Morpheus that no one could find this place. Sadly, you do it because you are losing hope.
Dejection momentarily quelled, you resort to staring at the door with such concentration that you fear it may trigger another headache.
"How the fuck do you work?" You ask it.
If there is no tangible way of holding it then that left the metaphysical as its locking mechanism. Metaphysical power that came from him - that now resided in you.
Maybe you could use it to break out...
You huff out a laugh at your optimism. There is no harm in trying.
Decision made, you make a quick trip to the bathroom to get the ruby ring you put by the sink. There's no chance you're escaping and leaving a beloved family heirloom behind.
You walk confidently to the door and plant yourself a forearm's length from it. The gold of the ring glimmers on your right hand as your press your palm to the glossy wood.
You do not want to be the person you were in the nightmare; forced into a box-encased void and cut off from the universe. You want to learn, to experience, to love. You want to have dreams and you're willing to make them with or without their master.
You are going to get out of here.
-----------------------------
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"I'm walking down the line that divides me somewhere in my mind. On the borderline of the edge, and where I walk alone."
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