#heck we even have some parental loss parallels with this

[mzminola]

[Image: three panels of Agatha ranting, starting out frustrated: "And I'm the evil madgirl with the death ray and the freakish ancestors- And the town full of minions- And the horde of Jägers- And the homicidal castle full of sycophantic evil geniuses and fun-sized hunter-killer monster clanks and goodness knows what else-

...

And you know what? I can work with that!" /end ID.]

It’s really fascinating to compare the way Agatha handles the Heterodyne Legacy compared to her father and uncle. Because these are the two known generations of ‘Heroic’ Heterodynes after a long, long legacy of the Heterodyne family being known primarily as Evil Bastards - but they have such a totally opposite relationship with that villainous legacy.

Bill and Barry grew up deep inside that Evil Heterodyne Legacy and know all about how truly rotten it really is. Their father was an Old Heterodyne to the bone and an Extremely Reprehensible Human Being. Like, not just Cartoon Evil Overlord stuff - according to the Novels, he forced Bill and Barry’s mom to marry him by threatening her family. And he tried to kill them because they weren’t evil enough to his tastes. 

And when their mom killed him to protect her sons, the Castle killed her in retaliation. The very manifestation of the Heterodyne Legacy has cost them their beloved mother who just saved their life. And all of this in addition to the fact a non-evil Heterodyne was really an unthinkable concept when the Boys started - meaning they had to work extra hard to distance themselves from their family if they wanted anyone outside of Mechanicsburg to trust them.

And Heterodyne Boys worked very very hard to prove to the world that they’re not monsters. Both to fight off against the constant suspicions that they were monsters, and because they most likely wanted as little to do with their father’s legacy as Spark-ly possible. For them the Heterodyne Legacy was mostly kind of a Curse, the thing that tormented their mother and killed her and almost killed them, the thing that makes people wary of them.

And as such, they distanced themselves from anything that’s even remotely to do with that old legacy of monsters, from anything evil or scary or messy or ugly. Much to the chagrin of the Castle, the House of Heterodyne’s many other monsters, the Jager Horde Mechanicsburg’s proud Evil Minion population and many others who felt abandoned by them for the sake of PR.

Then there’s Agatha Heterodyne. And it’s not just that Agatha grew up in a post-Heterodyne-Boys world where the general populace associates the family name less with evil barbarous mad kings and more with good-natured heroism. Where even those who remember the Old Heterodynes are at least willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. Where even those who would like her to be like the Old Heterodynes are at least willing to give her some wiggle room to express herself....

It is all of that, but more importantly Agatha didn’t grow up as a Heterodyne at all.

She grew up as Agatha Clay, with the Spark-Suppressing Locket that dulled her mind and made her a miserable klutzy mess who couldn’t do anything right. She grew up hating the constant feeling of being powerless.

And discovering that she’s a Heterodyne came up… pretty close to realizing she’s a Spark, and both of these revelations gave her a certain kind of Power that she never got to have before. She is now both a powerful Spark and a powerful political player in this grand Europa political chess board. 

And as much as she has the same heroic values and upbringing as the Boys did (courtesy of Barry and the Construct Duo), not growing up so up-close-and-personal with the worst consequences of the Old Heterodyne’s evil means she’s not as immediately repulsed by it like the Boys were. 

She encountered all of these old monstrous pieces of the Heterodyne Legacy - the Jagers, the Castle, Mechanicsburg, even just the fear her name can put into people’s hearts - not as the Evil Legacy Forced Upon Her. But stuff that was taken away from her, and she had to earn back. And in a world stacked so heavily against her, so determined to rob her of her agency and newfound sense of power, these things represent the assertion and security of her power.

For the Heterodyne Boys, the worst thing they could ever imagine being was monsters - like their father and the rest of their family was. For Agatha Heterodyne, the worst thing she could imagine is being powerless again. She would take being seen as a monster a thousand times over being condescended and ignored ever again. 

Being seen as a monster isn’t actually all that bad at all, she discovered. 

All of these things together make Agatha not quite the second generation of Actually Heroic Heterodyne or just another link in the Old Heterodyne Legacy - but another new kind of Heterodyne altogether. One that can both retain a moral code and embrace the family’s monstreness at the same time. 

[chickenkurage]

OKAY OKAY OKAY.... CHAPTER 5 OF ATG... WHAT IN THE WORLD OH MY GOSH HOW MUCH DID DJ HAD TO GO THROUGH- FIRST HIS PARENTS AND NOW THE LOSS OF HIS OWN FOUND FAMILY TO HIS BEST FRIEND LEAVING HIM TO ROT, WHAT THE FRICK-

FIRST OF ALL, THEM TALKING ABOUT THE STARS AND SAYING HOW DJ SAYING HE WANTS TO SEE THE REAL STARS ONE DAY IS JUST.... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IT SOMEHOW HITS ME- REMINDS ME OF THAT ONE UNDERTALE DIALOGUE: "what's a star? Can you touch it? Can you eat it? Can you kill it?... Are you a star?" IT JUST SUDDENLY REMINDED ME OF THAT!!! ARE THEY REALLY FORESHADOWING THEMSELVES ABOUT LOSING EACH OTHER BECAUSE MY GOSH- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DJ IS STILL TRYING TO REACH ALAN DESPITE HIS WOUND AND WORDS, HE'S TRYING TO PROVE HIMSELF SO HE CAN BE SEEN AS A USEFUL PERSON TOWARDS HIM, HOW HE IS STILL WILLING TO HELP HIM EVEN THOUGH HE NEEDS REST TO RECOVER FROM THAT SHOT, BUT I CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE THE HORROR ON HIS FACE WHEN HE SAW ALAN WEARING THE WEAPON, THE VERY THING HE WASTED THE REST OF HIS LIFE ON, OH MY GOSH HE MUST'VE BEEN FEELING A LOT OF EMOTIONS THERE- WE GOT SOME POV OF HOW DJ IS DOING NOW!!! SEEMS TO BE SOMEWHAT ALRIGHT BUT ALSO NOT BECAUSE THE WORDS ARE STILL STABBED INTO HIS HEART LIKE A LITERAL BULLET, BUT YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DJ AND VICTIM MEETING!!! I WAS ALREADY THINKING ABOUT IF DJ WILL SAY ANYTHING TO VICTIM AND THE OTHERS ABOUT ALA- NOOGAI, OR MAYBE THEY'LL FOUND OUT AT DJ WAS ACTUALLY ONCE A CLOSE FRIEND OF NOOGAI AND HE HELPED HIM SO LONG AGO, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THESE SCENARIOSSSSSSSSSS!!! I DID NOT EXPECT HIS PARENTS IN THIS TO BE LIKE THIS, HIS MOTHER DISTANCING HERSELF HIM AND HE TOOK IT AS KINDNESS FOR FREEDOM UNTIL THE REALIZATION HITS, HOW HE WAS KNOWN TO REASSEMBLE HIS FATHER BUT HATES THE IDEA OF BECOMING SOMEONE HE DESPISES A LOT, STAYING AT ALAN'S SEEMS LIKE IT'S THE ONLY HOPE FOR HIM TO SPEND HIS LIFE HAPPILY INSTEAD AT HIS FATHERS. DANG I DIDN'T EXPECT HIM TO PICK A WHOLE GOSH DANG FIGHT IN THAT BAR, THAT ALCOHOL REALLY DID SOMETHING TO HIM WITH THE NUMBNESS AND BLOOD ALL AROUND HIM, NOOOOOOOO HIM AND ALAN GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING AT THE SAME TIME BEFORE AFTER KAORI AND THE CHILDREN HAD PASSED, EXPECT DJ IS WILLING TO HELP ALAN AND MOVE FORWARD SLOWLY BIT BY BIT, WHILE ALAN REFUSES AND LEAVES HIM TO CONTINUE ON WITH HIS OWN PATH OF VENGEANCE, LEAVING SOMEONE WHO WAS THERE FOR YOU THE WHOLE ENTIRE TIME, LITERALLY AFTER EVERYTHING, HOW MUCH DOES DJ GO THROUGH IN THIS, INCLUDING ALAN TOO OFC OH MY GOSH- READING VICTIM AND DJ STARGAZING TOGETHER ALREADY GAVE ME PARALLELS, AND DJ SAYING THE STARS AREN'T REAL LIKE HOW ALAN DID BEFORE, AND VICTIM SAYING THOSE FAMILIAR REALLY MUST HAVE HIT DJ SOMEHOW-

SO MUCH IS HAPPENING ALREADY OH MY GOSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! SOMEONE GET THIS DJ TO THE AA HOUSE ASP, RIGHT HERE AND RIGHT NOW, AND EVEN LET KOM!DJ HELP OUT TOO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMGEY YOU'RE WRITING IS IMPRESSIVE AS HECK AND KILLING ME!!!

DJ has been doomed from the start xDDD.

The stars were indeed a metaphor!! And how DJ loves those "Fake Stars" even if it was fake, he still found beauty in it, like how he did with Alan and his family :'')). The stars can be both a foreshadowing and a metaphor with Alan and DJ, with the stars being both fake and out of reach from DJ, just like he is with Alan (oop)

And the Undertale quote, oh my goodness i agree :000

And ahh DJ backstory, super dope xDDDD. We can see here how much of a family Alan and Kaori really are to DJ, it really shows that DJ really loves them both, and losing them both is just......im sad for him.

Alan is so busy with his own world building that he completely forgot about his best friend DD": It's just not fair, clearly, it's not just Alan who is a bit messed up in the head now XDD.

And yipee ond DJ and Vic friendship XDD, Vic being so playful and DJ is the one that has no energy LMAOO. It's a duo we did not ask for but a duo we need.

And God, DJ and his mother. It's so fucked up that he thought what his mother was doing a form of love and freedom until he realized his mother just wants him gone :'')

And we know how DJ always puts his friends first before himself, that's why when Kaori and the kids died, DJ pushed his grief so far back just so he could help Alan to the point he completely forgot that he too has the right to grieve over them because Kaori was like a sister to him.

And Victim reminding of DJ the memory of when he used to stargaze and Alan would always mention that the stars are fake as a way to tease him. It is a parallel, being the first line in the chapter with DJ saying he wanted to see the real stars and fast forward to Victim saying he too wants to see the real stars. PAIN

DJ does need to meet the AA, those Alans would give him all the love he needs and maybe Snow would help him xDDD. KOM DJ would definitely try to cheer ATG DJ up!!

And oh my goodness, thank you, i want to write the story as a more of character study type. ATG DJ isn't an interesting guy, he has no powers, he has no flashy tricks up his sleeve, he is just him.

His friend left him, his sister Kaori died and his nephew and niece, and he's all alone trying to deal with the pain and hurt that was left. Maybe he gave too much love to other people that he forgot to give himself some as well :((.

The AU may have fooled you guys, thinking it would be all about ATG Alan and his cool and revenge escapades, or even Victim and his brothers goofing around. But in reality, we would just look at the AU in DJ's eyes. There's nothing cool about it, and there is nothing fun about it.

Let's just hope DJ and Alan would finally talk - S

[inktog]

how the heck did you get all of that nonsense from a fricking kids show for children

Reunion features a tight parallelism between its interpersonal and political conflicts. Sasha abuses Anne; the toads oppress the frogs. Anne stands up for herself; the frogs rebel. Both threads climax in the duel upon Toad Tower, where Anne and Sasha serve as champions of their respective species.

Taking season one as a whole, we see that Sasha, a bully secure in her control of her friends, lands in the seat of a tyrannical government, and that when her control is challenged, the Tower explodes—while Anne, guilty about betraying her parents, lands among an adoptive family that teaches her moral lessons, where she remains sheltered from the wider world until she demonstrates newfound moral fortitude.

Hence my reading of Amphibia as a symbolic dreamscape, where the teens' personal baggage manifests as talking animals. I'm just trying to see how far the parallelism extends.

Under this paradigm, Newtopia symbolizes Marcy's love of school. Right? Newts are presented as a scholarly race, and Marcy spends a bunch of time taking classes, leveling up her skills, and using her big brain to solve problems. But there's a lot going on with the newts that doesn't map onto education. Andrias in particular—he's supposed to be, what, some kind of evil principal? That doesn't really track.

So I've turned to the subtle and not-so-subtle implications of sexual violence peppered throughout Marcy's character arc. The most obvious is her forcible conversion into Darcy, a scene with which multiple survivors of sexual assault have expressed familiarity—the horror, the loss of agency, the bodily violation (though of course that's not universal; people will react to art in different ways)—and is preceded by the second most obvious scene, Andrias ramming Marcy through with his giant sword. While I expect I'm wrong about a lot of the nitty-gritty symbolism—like whether the butterfly-with-teeth imagery evokes vagina dentata—I do want to pay attention to those little things, because they might coalesce into a larger pattern.

I don't like pigeonholing Amphibia as a "kids' cartoon." Matt Braly has talked openly about trying to push the envelope and carve out space for PG-13 animation, and the crew was punished for it when Disney tried to censor Marcy's impalement. Nor do I see any reason, even if this were straightforwardly a children's show for children, to ignore its capacity for meaning.

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

COSMIC - S1:E5; Chapter Five, The Flea and The Acrobat - [Pt. 2]

A Will Byers x Male!Reader Series

𝘏𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘣 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘴 𝘔𝘳. 𝘊𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯.

|| 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕 ||

"Fear not, for I am with you. Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you."

'I can't believe I'm at Will's funeral.'

"Yes, I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." The pastor continued.

I spared a glance at the people around me.

I looked to Jonathan, his head bowed, and poor Joyce who was sitting nearby.

I can't imagine what they must be going through.

Joyce was like a second mother to me, and she has always treated as if I was one of her own. I'll always be grateful for that. I lay a hand on her shoulder.

She looks up to me confused like I had pulled her deep out of her thought, upon seeing it was me she smiles thankfully. She put her hand over mine and gave it a few gentle pats and then a small stroke with her thumb to say thank you.

I smiled solemnly at her and let go, listening to the rest of the service.

"It's times like these that our faith is challenged. How, if he is truly benevolent... could God take us from someone so young, so innocent?"

I looked down at my feet.

"It would be easy to turn away from God... but we must remember that nothing, not even tragedy, can separate us from His love."

I felt a nudge on my shoulder and turned to look at Dustin. He wore a sly smirk as he looked to his right, past me and Mike.

Frowning in confusion, I turned my head to see what he was smirking about.

"Just wait till we tell Will that Jennifer Hayes was crying at his funeral." Dustin said cheekily.

I scoffed under my breath, rolling my eyes.

"Since when has she cared about Will? She couldn't even get his name right, remember that week she called him Bill?" I huffed, crossing my arms in distaste.

The boys smirked at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Somebody jealous?" Lucas smirked.

"No-! Not ev- Shut up!" I scowl.

The boys giggle earning more than a few concerned and offended glances making me smile to myself. Mrs. Wheeler leaned down and shushed the boys making me smirk more.

'Serves them right.'

Soon enough, the casket had been lowered into the growd and roses had been thrown on top. I made my way to the very side of the grave, looking down.

"I know you're not dead. But I swear to God, if you don't come back I'm gonna kill you." I muttered to the casket in the ground.

As people began to filter out, we watched as Mike's mom said her condolences to Will's parents.

"I'm so, so sorry."

"Oh, thank you so much for coming." Will's dad said.

I never liked him.

Joyce was just standing by herself quietly, her arms crossed looking down at the grave.

"Yeah, if there's anything we can do..." Mr. Wheeler offered, shaking the man's hand.

"I appreciate it. Thank you so much."

I said goodbye to Lucas who had to follow his parents out, even though we would be seeing him later at the wake. I did the same with Mike, and soon enough Mom was waiting for us so we could get to the car.

"Mom, will you give me a minute?"

"Of course, Pumpkin," She smiled at me with sympathy.

I turned around wove through the crowd that had separated me from Joyce. I tapped her on the shoulder, seeming to jostle her from her thoughts a second time.

Upon seeing it was me, she smiled.

"Hi, Ms. Byers."

"Oh, hi Y/n. Thank you, for coming, sweetheart," She smiled.

I captured her in a bear hug and she gladly reciprocated, giving my several comforting strokes.

"Of course. I'm so, so sorry for your loss." I said, letting her go.

"Oh, thank you, honey. T-Tell me, how have you been holding up?" She asked gently.

My eyes welled up.

"I'm not gonna lie, it's- it's been really hard. I just, I just miss him so much. Your son was such a good person. Always a gentleman." I knew what I was saying.

Even if he is alive for sure, everything I said was true. He always has been nothing but kind to me.

Not to mention, I owe him for so much.

She seemed extremely thankful for hearing that and I was glad I could make her genuinely smile on this sad day.

"Really? Oh sweetie, thank you. That means, just so much to me."

I look back to my mom and brother waiting for me by the car, and I return my gaze back to Ms. Byers.

"Um, I better go. My mom is waiting for me. I guess I'll be seeing you at the wake. Goodbye, Ms. Byers."

"Thank you again, Y/n. I'll see you later, okay?" Her face slightly fell and she smiled at me.

I nod and begin walking backward sending a small wave her way before turning around a breaking out into a small jog to catch up to my mom.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

Being at the funeral of your best friend is daunting and quite surreal.

Being at the funeral of your best friend who is quite possibly alive in another dimension and you and only four other people know this is a completely different ballpark.

We had all met up at the wake and regrouped.

The plan was to ask Mr. Clarke if there was anything he could tell us about the theories regarding alternate dimensions. I'm just praying that we don't arouse suspicion given the setting.

"Mr. Clarke?" The tall man turned his attention away from the buffet to look at us.

Mr. Clarke smiled sympathetically. "Oh, hey, there."

The somber look came easily to my face as I looked to Mr. Clarke, Mike, and Lucas on either side of me while Dustin was digging into the buffet.

"How are you kids holding up?"

Lucas speaks up for us, slightly distracted by Dustin's blatant chewing. "We're... in... mourning."

"Man, these aren't real Nilla Wafers," Dustin sighed, shaking his head.

My eyes widen softly, and I look to Mr. Clarke trying to cover for him.

"You'll have to excuse my brother, Mr. Clarke, he's-" I stop midsentence to see him happily munching on more snacks, and look back to Mr. Clarke. "well, he mourns in his own... special way."

"We were wondering if you had time to talk?" Mike asked, wanting to move things along as quickly as possible.

"We have some questions," Lucas added.

I shook my head in agreement. "A lot of questions, actually,"

Mr. Clarke complied and the four of us found ourselves at the nearest table, asking our teacher about other dimensions at our "dead" friends' wake. Not something I ever could have imagined doing.

"So, you know how in Cosmos, Carl Segan talks about other dimensions? Like, beyond our world?"

"Yeah, sure. Theoretically." Mr. Clarke replies, noticeably confused at the subject of our questions.

"Right, theoretically,"

"So, theoretically, how do we travel there?" Lucas asked.

"You guys have been thinking about Hugh Everett's Many-World's Interpretation, haven't you?" A ghost of a smile on our teacher's face.

"Yeah," I chuckled, nodding my head in response.

The boys looked at me, wondering why I had said that.

I gave them a look that said, 'I don't know, just go with it.'

"Well, basically, there are parallel universes. Just like our world, but just infinite variations of it. Which means there's a world out there where none of this tragic stuff ever happened," I found myself nodding along, not for the sake of being believable, but actually lost in the idea.

"Yeah, that's not what we're talking about," Lucas sighed, leaning back.

"Oh."

"We were thinking of more of an evil dimension, like the Vale of Shadows. You know the Vale of Shadows?" Dustin asked, taking another loud bite of his off brand Nilla Wafers.

Not thinking that our science teacher would know anything about Dungeons and Dragons, I was completely taken aback by his next words.

"An echo of the Material Plane, where necrotic and shadow magic–"

"Yeah, exactly." Mike said cutting him off.

I shift uncomfortably in my seat.

"If that did exist - a place like the Vale of Shadows - how would we travel there?"

"Theoretically, of course." I add.

"Well..."

Mr. Clarke grabbed an empty paper plate and pulled out a pen from his jacket pocket. He then drew a straight line across the paper plate as he spoke, creating a visual for us.

"Picture... an acrobat..." He drew a small stick figure on top of the lines. "standing on a tightrope. Now, the tightrope is our dimension. And our dimension has rules."

He began drawing arrows on either side of the acrobat.

"You can move forwards, or backwards. But, what if..." He drew a very small creature under one of the arrows. "right next to our acrobat, there is a flea? Now, the flea can also travel back and forth, just like the acrobat. Right?"

"Right." We all agreed.

"Here's where things get really interesting. The flea can also travel this way... along the side of the rope." He drew arrows indicating the flea's direction around and under the rope, causing me to furrow my brows. "He can even go underneath the rope."

The boys and I all shared the same look before returning our gaze to Mr. Clarke. "Upside Down."

"Exactly."

Mike spoke up. "But we're not the flea, we're the acrobat."

"In this metaphor, yes, we're the acrobat."

"So we can't go upside down?" Lucas asked warily.

"No."

"Well, is there any way for the acrobat to get to the Upside Down?"

"Well," Our teacher furrowed his brows, a thoughtful look coming upon his face. "you'd have to create a massive amount of energy. More than humans are currently capable of creating, mind you, to open up some kind of tear in time and space, and then..."

He folded the paper plate in half, creasing it shut before shoving his pen directly through both sides of the paper plate. "you create a doorway."

"Like a gate?" My brother asked eagerly.

"Sure. Like a gate. But again, this is all–"

"Theoretical." I smile, nodding my head.

"But... but what if this gate already existed?" Mike asked, timidly.

"Well, if it did, I... I think we'd know. It would disrupt gravity, the magnetic field, our environment. Heck, it might even swallow us up whole."

Mike seems to gauge our reactions, and I'm the only one who met his eye with an equally uncertain gaze.

"Science is neat." Mr. Clarke continued. "But I'm afraid it's not very forgiving."

We all lean back, digesting the information.

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

The Rooster Sunrise motel and the roots of the narrative at the sunset of the story. A masterclass in Dean characterization

If I didn’t care / more than words can say / if I didn’t care / would I feel this way? / If this isn’t love / then why do I thrill? / And what makes my head go round...

This song plays as Travis comes in to check at the Rooster Sunrise motel - late in the night, later than the motel technically allows checks in. Metaphorically, this episode happens later than it should. Everything happens later than it should. Dean defeats the monster too late, after it gets Travis dead. They’re running a case when they should actually be preparing for the ultimate showdown against God. Dean tells Sam the truth about Jack too late. The very episode is “out of place” in the season - I mean, purposely so - because it gives us a “old style” hunting case in a season where hunting has lost its original purpose in the narrative but has taken a different purpose, as a sort of caricature of itself, as we’ve discussed about before.

This episode is a last. Okay, we haven’t seen the next few yet, but this episode has a specific function, and it is to be the last traditional hunting case of the show. It’s about the past, and that’s why it can happen now that hunting can no longer exist, not really. This season, we have never had real hunting cases. Fake ones, weird ones, ones that just felt off -- obviously because the story is no longer working the way it did before. Chuck’s “hamster wheel” has been fully revealed, and the narrative can no longer function in the old way.

And this episode happens as... a sunset, actually. Or better, both sunrise and sunset because it shows us, in parallel, the beginning and the end. The first case Dean and Sam work together, and what is essentially the last, at least the last with the traditional formula - a monster of the week, a motel, a gross place, a civilian saved, some choking, some yeeting across a motel room, you know how it goes.

(The elephant in the room is the sun/sunrise imagery across the show, especially relevant after the latest episode brought back the Gas’n’Sip logo, of course, but let’s talk about something else here.)

There are many echoes in the episode. 2x11 Playthings, a case in a hotel that involved children. 11x16 Safe House, where a case was run both in the past, by Bobby and Rufus, and in the present, and involves a monster’s nest and visions. Of course 1x18 Something Wicked, where they defeat a monster that targeted kids after an attempt when they were kids had failed to get rid of the monster for good, and where we also get flashbacks of them as kids. And many other little references and callbacks. A pretty major one (*rubs hands together*) is 10x19 The Werther Project, where something supernatural causes hallucinations that make the victim kill themselves; Dean also almost stabbed himself back then. (Cuthbert Sinclair again... bless.) Oh, well, the pilot itself, where Dean and Sam comment that they make a good team. And then Carver-era secret and lies, of course.

And 14x13 Lebanon. (Yes it gets its own paragraph...) Dean smashing the stone in the ring, making the monster disappear, parallels straight to Sam smashing the pearl, making John disappear. The other monster of the episode is John, of course, who drops the kids in some motel alone while he gets “out of reach” when Dean tries to contact him on the phone (callback to season 1, when they kept trying to call John on the phone and he never answered, not even when Dean was dying or they were in their old house in Lawrence and terrified). John only appears as an invisible figure driving the car, symbolically driving their lives (all this “killing God and getting free” is nothing but a mirror to getting free from John’s influence, right). Callback to 9x07 Bad Boys, where we also see a younger Dean and we also deal with the weight of the lifestyle John placed on him, in an episode that features a literal ghost of a parent. (Heck, we even had Dean stealing food - in 9x07 he was caught by a policeman and brought to the boys’ house, now Caitlin jokes about arresting him.)

As 1x18 Something Wicked, we are presented with how growing up among monsters and hunting cases impacted Dean as a kid. Interestingly, Sam tries to reassure Dean in both episodes, telling him that he was just a kid and he shouldn’t be too hard on himself. In 1x18 he had ruined John’s hunt and put Sam in danger (of course the implication is that John put them in danger by using them as bait and expecting a child - addditionally unaware of what was going on - to watch after a younger child), now that he didn’t tell anyone about the nest because it was too horrifying to share that with other kids (of course, he’d also been a kid and shouldn’t have had to investigate a child-killing monster, so the implication is again that John shouldn’t have left them alone and unable to reach him in case of danger. It’s so telling that the episode has Dean discovering the bodies of dead kids while Sam is playing with another kid - although, of course, the game also turns terrifying soon).

So it’s an episode that has it all: the ghost of John Winchester, the way Dean’s parentified role impacts negatively his relationship with Sam (the episode establishes a connection between Dean shielding Sam from the horror of the monster’s nest and Dean essentially shielding Sam from the horror of the latest Jack news, it’s always about Dean feeling the weight of a responsibility to Sam because he’s Sam’s caretaker, even if he ostensibily mentions Billie’s plan and stuff as the reason of his silence), and of course the theme of FEAR.

I’ve been screaming this from rooftops pretty much since I’ve been here on tumblr - fear is the interpretative key to Dean’s character. Since season 1. Since the beginning. (You’re scared. It’s okay. I understand. See, when I was your age, I saw something real bad happen to my mom, and I was scared, too.) Many posts have been written about how anger is a secondary emotion, when the narrative ostensibly had Dean be “angry”. Dean has dealt with fear almost his entire life, and this episode basically works as an asterisk to the season. Hey, we’re having everyone comment on Dean’s anger! Including Dean himself! He says he doesn’t know why he has these outbursts! Well, we do know. Little reminder here now... he’s scared. And he’s scared because he cares, because he loves so much, and when you keep losing what you love you are scared, scared of losing more and more, stuck in a hamster wheel of losing and losing and losing.

In fact, if losing Jack will stop the hamster wheel, he’s fine with it, because as long as they’re stuck in the wheel they’ll lose Jack again anyway, they keep losing everything over and over, Jack and Cas and everyone. In this episode he mentions funerals of hunters, friends, how they couldn’t even attend all the funerals of people they were close to. There were so many. They’ve always been so surrounded by horror and fear and death. He just wants it to stop. (Of course the plan cannot work, just like the immersion therapy method didn’t work for Travis. Well, poor Travis’ idea of facing his fears to overcome his trauma worked very well on paper, just like Billie’s plan seems to be the best option on paper, but we still have a few episodes still to see...)

This episode is an exploration of the motives of Dean’s behavior, and it spells them out very clearly. John’s abuse and neglect, the forced parentified role he had to take towards Sam since a too-early age, the nightmarish horrors he had to see (while shielding Sam from, which reminds me of the infamous scene about Max’s childhood...), the neverending chain of losses with its baggage of fear.

Dean wants - needs - to defeat Chuck, just like Travis needed to face his fears and overcome his trauma. Because Chuck means hamster wheel. And the hamster wheel isn’t just a theoretical lack-of-free-will thing. It’s not just about a philosophical/theological concept. It’s about the very real cycle of horror and fear and loss that Dean has spent his entire life in. It’s about a pile of dead children, both a metaphor for his brutally ended childhood and a very concrete example of what has been haunting him for so long.

His apparently “okayness” with Billie’s plan is not out of a revenge thing or lack of forgiveness towards Jack (of course we can add millions of words about Dean’s relationship with Death). His okayness with killing Amara is... well, only partly about punishing her for, as he sees it, toying with him. His anger is because he feels so much. If I didn’t care / more than words can say / if I didn’t care / would I feel this way?

[echoghost1]

EchoGhost's Phic Phight 2021 Master Post

And in case you missed any, or just like seeing the whole gang together, here is every single fic I wrote for my first ever Phic Phight!

1) Perseverance

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: While Maddie is helping Danny with his homework a notification from his phone becomes a major distraction.

Prompt: PR134 - Danny is sitting quietly next to someone. Maybe he's doing homework with his friends, maybe Jazz is driving him somewhere, maybe he's working on a group project with someone, maybe he's doing something else entirely. He suddenly starts *freaking* the heck out - Perseverance has just landed on Mars, and he just found out about it. How is his reaction perceived by whoever he's with?

2) The Reason You Wail

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: An odd feeling he can't quite explain is haunting Danny. He wants it to stop but he knows it won't, he just knows now.

Prompt: PR054 - As Danny gets older, he doesn't just predict the appearance of ghosts. He starts predicting when someone's going to die.

3) Forget Your Life Story

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: Danny woke up with no memory. He didn’t even know his own name. The doctor told him it would come back and his parents were there to help him. He trusts them, even if he doesn't recognize them. Even if some things didn’t quite line up.

Prompt: PR002 - Danny woke up from being in a month long coma with no memory of how he got there or anything about his past. Thankfully, the doctors said that his memory would return eventually, and he had his loved ones nearby to tell him who he was and his life story. However, as his memory slowly returns, there's huge, distinct differences between what he's been told and the things he's remembering.

4) Recreational Botany

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: It wasn't her fault. She was merely curious, had only wanted to help. She didn't mean for this to happen. She just hoped it would wear off soon. (TW: Drug use - Weed)

Prompt: PR228 - Ghost weed.

5) Fool’s Errand (Ghost Prince AU)

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: It had been hours since Danny flew off to fight Pariah Dark and Vlad took it upon himself to see what was taking the boy so long.

Prompt: PR065 - After their fight, Pariah Dark decides Danny has all the qualities he wants in an heir and forcibly adopts him. (Danny can either lose the fight to put him back in the Sarcophagus, or Pariah can get out again later.)

6) You Walked Right Into This

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: Sometimes walking is more than just walking. (TW: Child Abuse)

Prompt: PR142 - Jack and Maddie seriously injure Danny Fenton, resulting in him being at their mercy and revealing he’s not exactly human. Now the parents have to decide wether to help him... or finish what they started. TW for serious injury and probably gore and angst.

7) What You Fear The Most (Scary Ghost Form AU)

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: What if his ghost form was less human-looking? What if he looked every bit the monster his parents had always told him ghosts were?

Prompt: PR035 - Monstrous: AU where Danny's ghost form is monstrous and grotesque. On one hand, he doesn't have to worry about anyone recognizing him; on the other, it might be even harder to convince people that he's a good guy

8) Parallels

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: It's amazing the things you learn on a field trip.

Prompt: PR047 - Wacky reveals (ex: Danny drying up too quickly bc intangibility, Danny's drink stays cool way too long, people's electronic devices are always more charged when they've been near Danny, etc)

9) Cast Into Obsidian (Blind AU)

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: The accident sent Danny to the hospital due to the damage to his eyes.

Prompt 01: PR092 - Write a more traditional ghost story. How would things change if ghost powers weren’t super powers, but closer to old horror movie tropes?

Prompt 02: PR259 - The Accident didn’t turn Danny into a half ghost, but instead allowed him to see, hear, and physically interact with the very real ghosts that are now pouring through the portal (Alternative: Danny’s always been clairvoyant, but after the accident he finally sees all of the ghosts he’d grown up talking to)

10) Where The Lines Overlap (Parallels part 2)

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: Maddie wants to know what her son has been keeping from her and today he finally decides to tell her. (TW: Outsider POV of PTSD flashbacks)

Prompt: PR091 - When he told his parents the truth, Danny had only ever bothered thinking about the stress of potential dissection. With that out of the way, and his secret fully accepted, he realised that there were a lot of unexpected things to adjust to... Write about something funny or awkward as the Fentons learn to live with a half ghost son!

11) Quoth the Librarian, “But I’m Alone?”

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: Eleanor loved her job at the school library. She always made sure to come in early to make sure everything was just right before the students came. Today something beat her there.

Prompt: PR234 - Suddenly, there was a knock at the door...

12) The Baldr to My Odin (Ghost Prince AU part 2)

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: Pariah has recently acquired a son and wants to get to know him better.

Prompt: PR121 - Pariah Dark wakes up from his slumber and tries to live a peaceful existence in his castle practicing his swordsmanship and rebuilding his castle with all modern luxuries. But ghost from the ghost zone keep trying to challenge him to become king.

13) Tagged

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: Dr. Flora Santos and her partner Dr. Carlos Rodriguez have lucked out as they have finally caught their most elusive subject.

Prompt: PR090 - Something physical happens to Danny’s body that makes it impossible to keep his secret identity, well, secret.

14) The Paleontologist and The Princess (Dino boy AU)

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: Danny had one true passion; Paleontology. So can anyone really blame him for getting excited when he thinks he comes face to face with a dinosaur? Even if it isn't a dinosaur after all.

Prompt: PR139 - "Actually, Dad? I wanted to be a paleontologist."

15) Lost In Transmission

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: There's a Ghost Expo happening at Casper High and Danny thinks it'll be fun to see all the incorrect ways people try to find ghosts. He learns the hard way that just because is old, doesn't mean it doesn't work.

Prompt: PRO58 - Casper high is holding a supernatural expo. Supposed paranormal experts are gathered in their gym to show off their expertise. Thinking it'll be a flop, since most employ methods that aren't modern, Danny and his friends go for fun. Only, it turns out that traditional ghost hunting techniques are more efficient than they seem.

16) Dark Familiarity (Role Swap AU)

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: Danny has been hunting ghosts for a while now. He has been ever since they ruined his life and a mysterious package arrived with everything he needed to exact his revenge. (TW: Character Death)

Prompt: PR095 - Danny and Valerie role swap (but not personality swap!!). How does Valerie fair as a ghost? How does Danny do as a ghost hunter (and what motivates him to do it in the first place?) [Shipping them is fine, but gen fics are preferred!]

17) I’ve Felt It Too

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: Ember's having a bad day and Danny tries to help.

Prompt: PR079 - Phantom looked at Ember. Her eyes filled with tears. She gnashed her teeth and screamed. "You don't know what it's like."

And Phantom, with a heavy sigh whispered. "Yeah, I do..."

18) Repair All Of The Damage (Undead Danny AU)

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: After the tragic loss of her son, Maddie vows to bring him back. No matter what. (TW: Death of a child)

Prompt: PR088 - tw; death of a child?

The Fentons had their daughter sure but they always wanted a son. due to an accident or complication with their son, Danny, died. They decide to put their ghostly knowledge to use and try to summon the spirit of their son back to them. They are ghost scientists. they know how to contain them after all. How much time that has passed between the death and the 'summoning' is up to you!

19) Out Of This World (And Into The Next)

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: What if when Danny first fought the Lunch Lady ghost she actually noticed how young he was. What if she didn't know he was more than just another ghost? What if when she commented on how underweight he was, she decided to help him?

Prompt 01: PR113 - Danny has an existential crisis because he’s dead

Prompt 02: PR242 - somehow, he's gotten younger

20) Spirit Versus Spunk

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: Mr. Lancer isn't sure how he's supposed to be reacting to what he's seeing, but seeing as he's the adult here, he better make up his mind.

Prompt: PR019 - Danny and Wes Weston fight over a harmless ghost. This happens during a ghost attack.

21) The Group Project From Hell

AO3 or Tumblr

Summary: Danny and Tucker get stuck working with someone that they really don’t want to

Prompt: Everyone hates group projects, and that’s even if you like your group members. Tucker, Danny, and Elliot/Gregor all get teamed up for a group project, and Tucker and Danny need to refrain from killing him.

And as an added bonus I did make a Spotify playlist for this too! There's a song for each fic that I felt best fit the vibe of each story.

[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

Gonna make full use of my ‘comic rant’ tag and roast Future State: Superwoman.

Spoilers! And yelling! Of the disgruntled kind!

So a few things at the start here: 1.) I wanted to love this book. I wanted it to be great. I wanted to give it the benefit of the doubt, in spite of some iffy stuff in the solicit text. So this rant is not coming from a place of having decided this was going to be awful ahead of time. 2.) My tolerance for bad Supergirl comics is pretty high! Takes a lot for me to actually come out and say that a particular issue is trash. Reader: This story is trash.

It’s not ‘middle-aged white guys writing/drawing a story about sending a minor to a potentially hostile planet fully nude’ trash, mind you. It’s the compost bin, rather than the landfill. Slightly nicer trash, but it still stinks to high heaven. Allow me to expand!

PROLOGUE - SUMMARY: ...I actually can’t summarize this comic b/c it would devolve into a lot of senseless yelling. We’ll just have to tease out this terrible plot as we go along. 

PART I - DEAD DOGS TELL BAD TALES: The comic opens with Kara standing at Krypto’s grave. That’s not why this comic is trash, but it bears mentioning. Because why. Why would you do this. 

PART II - IN WHICH IT ONLY GETS WORSE: So, Kara has a running inner monologue, and the main thing we gather from Kara’s thoughts is that it was Krypto who taught her to be a hero. On paper, that sounds very sweet! In practice, it reads as Kara having no moral center whatsoever—whatever good qualities she might possess, she did not learn from her parents, or her foster parents, or friends, or fellow heroes. Nor do they come from within Kara herself. Nope, t’was Krypto who taught Kara not to be a jealous rage monster. That is not hyperbole--Kara’s walking around angry about her cousin all the time and she’s like, ‘It was you, Krypto, who taught me not to judge, and to let go of anger.’ Listen, I love Krypto, but this? This is, as the youth would say, a bad look.

PART III - THOSE CERTAINLY ARE...SOME THEMES: The set-up here is that Kara is on the moon, and has established a sanctuary for alien refugees. That’s a dynamite idea! I love that! Buuuuut Kara didn’t look at the plight of alien refugees and say, ‘I want to help!’ Really, she didn’t even look at herself and say, ‘I don’t want others to feel like I’ve felt.’ No, she said, ‘Earth won’t accept me as a hero, and Clark didn’t name me protector of Earth, so. I’m out!’ (Honestly, if your moral compass is so whack that you need a dog to walk you back from Hulk-Smashing...can’t say I blame Clark for not picking you, Kara!) But apparently, the people on the moon don’t really like her either. And it is literally never explained why. There’s a whole montage of Kara fixing stuff and saving lives and all the moon folk just glare at her. This makes both the moon people AND Kara look like a**holes, because they come across as ungrateful, and she comes across as a glory hound. Thanks! I hate it! So the ‘peace’ Kara’s found on the moon isn’t really peaceful at all, cause she still resents her cousin, and people still don’t like her, in spite of the fact that she’s constantly performing acts of service for them. 

Also, side note, I’m just now realizing this is an entire population of alien refugees...and Kara is somehow still the odd one out. Like, Earth I get, because everyone else is a human and maybe freaked out by the super powers. But a bunch of aliens? WHY. Why did you do this. Why did this need to be set on the moon with alien refugees if you’re not going to interrogate Kara’s identity as an alien refugee herself AND all of the aliens are inexplicably humanoid in appearance and utterly ordinary in terms of power levels.  

Like. This is not the CW show, where they have a budget, and a huge ensemble cast to serve. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE. AAARRRRRGHHHH.

PART III CONT’D: There’s also this weird ‘birthright’ element introduced...like, Clark and Jon stole Kara’s ‘right’ to be earth’s defender which is...a terrible reading of Kara’s modern origin. It brings in the idea that Kara is a ‘chosen one’ and because she didn’t get to be that chosen one, all of her hero work is for nothing. Never mind the whole central conceit of what makes Clark and Kara heroic...that they have this incredible power, and choose to do good with it. Nah...it’s all about her ‘right’ to protect the people of Earth! And mean ol’ Clark took that away! THANKS. I HATE IT. 

PART IV - A POOR USE OF SPACE: So, all of the Future State books kind of struggle with the issue of too much exposition, which is understandable. They have to introduce an entirely new status quo in a very limited amount of literal page space, so you *really* have to have a handle on how you allocate your time and focus.  

Introducing a brand new, lore-heavy heroic character who gets all of the development and dynamic art and pulls focus away from the character you’re meant to be writing is a bad use of a two issue limited series.

Like, this is a crappy Supergirl comic but it’s a great backdoor pilot for a Lynari ongoing, I guess. 

Imagine if in the Jon Superman book, they introduced a random, brand new best friend for Jon, and he got the big character arc instead of Jon. That’s something you save for an arc in an ongoing title, NOT A TWO ISSUE EVENT COMIC.  

Back to said new character, there’s a lot of forced attempts to parallel Kara and Lynari, but Lynari’s backstory is so confusing, rushed, and poorly explained that it’s like: okay, they’re both...angry? And the moon jerks hate them? ...uh. Okay.

(I’m gonna bring back my ‘why is this set on the moon, even’ question so that my ‘poor use of space’ header becomes a better joke.) 

PART V - I'M HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO...B/C THERE SURE AIN’T ONE HERE: I’ve already mentioned that Krypto was apparently Kara’s conscience so when Lynari’s aunt arrives to...kill them? (again, everything about Lynari’s backstory is rushed and poorly explained) Kara gets real mad and basically pulls a Gothel: ‘You want me to be the bad guy? Fine! Now I’m the bad guy.’ But thank goodness Lynari is there to tell Kara no! Don’t murder the giant aunt eel! Lynari then steals Kara’s powers and gives up the swamp jewel that’s been hidden inside their body and now their aunt is less murder-y!

WOW. Couldn’t even give the big damn hero moment to Kara in her own book, huh?

So the day is saved. It takes Kara a while to regain her powers, and it’s only then, when she’s no longer ‘above’ the moon jerks, that they’re like, ‘oh, we like her!’ There is a bit of narration about how that attitude is awful. But that narration is provided by Lynari. See, the inner monologue is no longer Kara’s thoughts, but rather it has switched to Lynari’s point of view. They’re telling us this story. And do you know why?

PART VI - WHY THIS COMIC *SUCKS*: KARA DIES. SHE’S THE FRIGGIN’ ‘SECOND GRAVE’ OF THE TITULAR ‘TWO GRAVES’

Fudge this comic to heck.

See, Kara dies on the moon, presumably of old age. She’s buried next to Krypto. And this random character who we’re suddenly supposed to care about tells us her story. Not Clark. Not the Danvers. Not Brainy. Not even one of the supporting cast members from her solo title. No one from Kara’s life is mentioned at all, save for Jon and Clark, and they’re pretty much relegated to flashbacks of Kara punching them. 

PART VII - TIME TO COMPARE DEATHS, I GUESS: First and foremost can I just say that I hate that’s a sentence that I’m typing about Kara in the year of our lord, 2021. But okay: Kara’s big famous death in Crisis stopped the entire DC universe cold. Everyone paused in the middle of the destruction of the multiverse to mourn her loss and honor her (GENUINELY HEROIC) sacrifice. Clark and Barbara--two established characters with a strong connection/relationship to Kara--offered lovely eulogies. 

This one: Kara gets to die of old age in obscurity after a lifetime of striving to be recognized and only achieving it by de-powering and serving a population of jerks. 

Not the warm and fuzzy ending you think it is!

(Meanwhile, Clark lives for millennia and spawns an entire dynasty of Els, all of ‘em out there, protecting the cosmos. I was looking forward to House of El in the hopes of maybe seeing some Kara stuff but NOPE. Thanks to Superwoman, we’re probably not gonna see any future Kara stuff beyond this! G R E A T)

And like, the argument could be made that this ending makes Kara happy. This is the life she chooses! She wants to be alone and garden on the moon! Except, we get zero insight from Kara regarding the remainder of her life. We only have Lynari’s narration and some montage shots...nearly all of which focus on other characters. But honestly, even if we did get Kara’s side of things, I doubt it would shed much light on her feelings, bEEECAUSE...

PART VIII - SUPER BLAND: This Kara really has no personality outside of ‘detached and vaguely bitter.’ I like Sauvage, I think she’s an incredibly talented artist, but here, Kara is stiff and her expression often reads as aloof. She’s very pretty, but it comes at the expense of being expressive. (And I know Sauvage can do expressive stuff...because Lyanari gets to be expressive.) Like...I love that shojo manga vibe but this is a Kara devoid of spark and warmth. 

...Like...Melissa Benoist’s portrayal of Kara is right there... 

I’ve already sort of touched on this but her inner monologue doesn’t have much personality either. She’s just parroting the same, ‘I need to do as Krypto taught me!’ nonsense for both issues. Until, of course, we shift to Lynari’s narration, and lose Kara’s thread entirely. 

PART IX - LET’S WRAP THIS UP: This book frustrates me to no end because it had a lot of stuff going for it. It’s got a female writer and artist--still a rarity for the Supergirl book--it’s a limited series mostly free of continuity and character baggage, and it’s not tied down to the grimdark cyberpunk stuff happening in the Gotham books. YOU COULD’VE DONE ANYTHING. And, once again, DC goes with a pitch that’s: Kara is angry, Kara resents Clark...and Kara dies.

It’s also happening...right as Kara has no dedicated ongoing title, the movie’s been shelved, the TV show is entering its sixth and final season, and all promotion has shifted to new CW and HBO shows. 

*screams into the void* 

MAAAAAAN I hate this book. I hate that it retroactively makes me hate the Andreyko run a little bit--a run that I took to be about a traumatized young woman forced to confront her grief, and who leans on a beloved animal companion for comfort. Here, Krypto is L I T E R A L L Y the reason Kara’s not constantly frying folks with her heat vision. 

I hate that this book has made me use the word ‘literally’ so much in this rant.

I hate that this could possibly be more in continuity than Millennium.

Remember Millennium? Where Kara was in like...five pages? And she was warm, and kind, and promised to help Rose because it was the right thing to do, and oh yes, WAS PRESIDENT OF EARTH?!??! AND A CLASSY OLD LADY!?!?!?!?! WHO WAS STILL ALIVE AND KICKIN’ IN THE FAR FLUNG FUTURE!?!?!?!?!

I hate that I’m using my lunch hour to rant about how much I hate this comic.  

I hate that DC editorial seems hell-bent on erasing the interesting aspects of Kara’s character to sand her down to ‘the angry one’ or ‘Batman 2.0′

PART X - LET’S END ON SOME (?) POSITIVES: Don’t read this book! Don’t do it! Don’t waste your time and money!

Instead, check out ANYTHING ELSE. If you want mom!Kara, read Tom Taylor’s ‘Last Daughters of Krypton’ in the DC Nuclear Winter special. If you want heroic oldlady!Kara, read Millennium. Honestly? Pick up anything by Bendis that has Supergirl in it. It is miles away better than this. You want angry Kara working through her grief? Andreyko, Red Lantern, even Infected. ANYTHING BUT THIS. HECK, grab Superman of Metropolis instead! That has bad Kara characterization but at least she doesn’t end up dead. 

Anyways. This comic is bad. I wish it wasn’t! And this is now the SECOND TIME IN A ROW that Kara’s book ends on a terrible note before the character disappears from monthly comics for an unknown period of time.  

*screams into the void again*

[bimbonaparte]

so as i am avoiding work and wandering around random spn sideblogs i stumble on one that criticizes my beloved “cas is claire’s yellow-eyed demon” hot take.... and while i do not want to call anyone out i do want to spend some more time playing with the arguments & implications here, because overthinking things is fun for me:

so let’s start with the idea that jimmy consented to cas possessing him. Jimmy may have truly said yes the first time around, but it is CRYSTAL CLEAR in 4x20 that a) he regrets it, didn’t understand what he was saying ‘yes’ to, and would have taken it back if he could, and b) when he says yes the second time, it is the last thing he wants and he’s only doing it to save his ten-year-old daughter from what he sees as a terrible fate. that is not consent, by any definition of the word. that is coercion.

mary and jimmy were ultimately given the same choice: say yes to something you do not want, or sacrifice a loved one. Mary knows that making a deal with azazel is going to have horrifying consequences, but she does it to save john. jimmy knows that saying yes to castiel means he’ll never see his family again, but he does it to save claire. Both Cas and Azazel created situations where these were the only options. (cas didn’t do it on purpose, but like... if you are a child and watch this go down in front of you that distinction really does not matter)

the analogy gets a little fuzzier when we get to john and amelia, because ultimately john stuck around to emotionally warp sam & dean and amelia abandoned claire and took off. at the end of the day, though, all three kids effectively lost BOTH parents in one fell swoop, and all three of their childhoods were stolen by a crusade against the supernatural, so like. strong parallels there.

the idea that claire shouldn’t blame cas for how her life turned out post-4x20 is crazy to me, though. he ran off with her dad’s body!!!! even if amelia had chosen to stick around after that & nothing else had gone wrong, taking a ten-year-old girl’s dad away from her is grounds for her to hate you for life!!! (i’m not even touching on the implications of cas possessing her (!!!) and then essentially using her as leverage to convince her dad to sacrifice himself, we know he was freshly brainwashed from some heaven torture but claire and amelia do not)

castiel is not responsible for amelia’s decision to abandon claire, just like azazel is not responsible for john’s decision to turn his kids into child soldiers. both amelia and john could have done something else with their grief. BUT. cas and azazel ARE responsible for causing that grief in the first place! they are directly to blame for the loss of mary/jimmy; from a bereaved child’s perspective, they are also to blame for everything that came after (not least because it’s hard to fully recognize the faults of your one surviving parent after a trauma like that; see dean/john’s entire relationship for reference. also it’s hard to get mad at mary/jimmy for saying ‘yes’ because they are dead. so all that rage and pain has to go somewhere else).

here is a question that i bet claire has: what if jimmy hadn’t died in 4x22? would it ever have occurred to castiel to leave his vessel and give her back her father? given that he didn’t think to check in on the novaks for 6+ years, signs kinda point to ‘no’

one more wager: we know sam & dean fantasize about what their lives would have looked like with no yellow-eyed demon, in a world where they get to grow up “normal”; i bet claire does the same thing with castiel

Basically my thesis is that from ages 10-17, Castiel lives in Claire’s mind -- like Azazel does in Sam & Dean’s -- as the monster that burned her picture-perfect life to the ground. But she doesn’t get the chance to funnel her anger & need for revenge into saving people, hunting things, or family, so instead she just grows up furious and alone. Can you imagine the incredible amount of rage she must feel when they swan back in after all these years to tell her they’re sorry??

(Actually, I don’t know if Sam & Dean ever do say sorry to her, which is kind of worse in its way -- Cas has the excuse of not being human, but they are both well aware of what losing a parent does to a kid and it also doesn’t occur to them to think about the novaks after 4x20. what the heck, guys.)

All this to say: I love Claire! I love the complicated mess of feelings she has for Castiel & Sam & Dean! I love that her journey parallels Sam & Dean’s so closely but ends in forgiveness instead of revenge!!! i love the idea of deconstructing the boogeyman of your childhood and relearning him as a person you can love!!! I love found family!! Jody “i will mom you whether you like it or not” Mills 4 lyfe!!  but to me, there’s just so much trauma and anger and pain and lost time between claire & cas... i just don’t think the show did her character any favors when it glossed over all of that and had her forgive him for everything so incredibly quickly. i can accept that claire grows to have affection for him, and that she gradually categorizes him & sam & dean as her weird uncles. but after everything???? that late in the game???? “dad” is not on the table.

[kathyprior4200]

Haven Hotel: That’s Disengagement!

 A princess with long black wavy hair walked out onto a high balcony. She wore a black undershirt with a white bow tie on top. A dark teal shirt, long white pants and white high heel shoes completed the look. Her face was pale white and teal blushes were present on her cheeks. Her eyes consisted of white pupils and dark blue sclera. Perched on her head was a black spiked crown. She was the inverted, antithesis of Charlie, the princess of Hell in a parallel world.

 “For all my life, I’ve been taught that all angels have good inside them. But I know that to be a lie. Ever since Lucifer and Lilith, God’s closest angels betrayed Him… I don’t think I can believe in these flawed teachings anymore…”

 The princess was Coerciona Egnam, Coercia for short. She was born and raised in Heaven…though she was not at all one would expect her to be in such a place. Self-entitled and pessimistic, nothing much could cheer her up except heavy metal music, rebelling against the rules and the occasional brawl.

 “It makes sense that only a worthy few are able to be here in Heaven. Choosing them out of the sea of sinner scum. Yet ironically, even the saints and Heaven-born aren’t flawless all the time. It’s inevitable that all those imperfect beings will go to Hell. They deserve to deal with suffering and challenges. Best of all, they wouldn’t be bound by social expectations. Heck, I wouldn’t be too surprised if it were me. I do enjoy my comfortable life here, just not these restrictions.”

 Her servants Pub and Chub were fat white naked cherubs with horns on their heads, small white feathery wings, and black eyes. One tested the strings on an electric guitar while the other shot out torpedoes from a small cannon.

 Outside was a white clock tower standing tall against the blue sky. The numbers read 0 then changed to 365 days. Writing above the numbers read “Days until the next cleanse in Hell.”

 The black Exorcists did their job in eliminating part of the demon population in 2P Hell like they did every year in the canon Hell. But at the same time each year, the Anti-Exorcists, risen white demons with white bat wings and horns, invaded 2P Heaven. They carried glowing black pitchforks and turned innocent denizens into demons. The Anti-Exorcists would carry books and tempt angels with their innermost desires. Sex, sin, self-expression, sorcery, whatever that need was. Then, once they were hooked, they were stabbed with the pitchforks, causing their wings to burn off and sending them plummeting down to Hell. Nearby families would grieve at their loss.

 It was quite the entertaining show for Princess Coercia!

  Coercia leaned against the marble balcony and began to sing in a low growl.

     (“I’m Always Evading Shadows”)

  “At the end of the journey, there’s suffering

Denying it, how often I’ve tried

But my life’s a disgrace

Just a slap in the face

And the harsh truths have all been denied”

 “A sliver of despair in this world of light

I know this world’s not free of sin

I search for the good

But get misunderstood

And reality will always win”

 “Why have I always been imperfect?

Lost in this brainwashed sea

I wonder if the world’s to blame

I wonder if it could be me”

 “I’m always evading shadows

Trapped, drowning in the social flow

Free-will forbidden, my answers are hidden

Lying down below”

 “Some people sugarcoat their speeches

I always blab out what I mean

I may be cruel but I am no fool

Things are never what they seem

Believe me”

 “I’m always evading shadows

Waiting for people to awaken

In vain”

    A nearby portal opened and out came the Exterminators, bloodstains over their wings and bodies and harpoons. They took off their creepy LED masks, their white angelic faces revealed. One by one, the citizens clapped and cheered. One of the Archangels with four black wings flew up to the front, his spiked halo glowing. He took off his mask, revealing a white stern face with yellow eyes and short black hair. In his utility belt were a few daggers, whips, chains and a bottle of emergency holy water.

 “Another successful purge,” their leader Samael (Venom of God) praised. “You cleansed more sinners while still keeping the population in a good balance. Well done, all of you.” He cleared his throat and made a cross symbol over his heart. “For the greater good in the name of our Lord.”

 The angels repeated the phrase.

 “Until next year. Dismissed.” The Archangel soldiers saluted and then flew off separately to see their families. Several of the angels, having been brainwashed in their Exterminator states, shook their heads sadly at what they had done.

 All around Coercia, Holy City was basked in a heavenly glow. The city was located up in the sky among the clouds, but no one had to worry about falling, even the ones without their wings out. A large church with the appearance of the Notre Dame Cathedral stood proudly in the city square, made of polished marble. Choirs and songs floated through the stained glass windows as the regular angels went in and out to pray and visit with their neighbors. A large fountain sprouted non-alcoholic wine of a golden color. It had a white statue of Mary and Jesus as a young boy at the top, both with welcoming faces.

 The streets were spotless and clean. Roofs and roads were powered by the sun’s rays. The Cloud 9 supermarket had endless amounts of food for sale…no one ever had to worry about going hungry. Charity workers and volunteers worked by the dozens, passing out food and bestowing miracles for those who needed them in the lower levels of Heaven. Metatron, the highest ranking angel, was busy keeping records of human lives, deaths and the messages of God.

 This version of Heaven was very similar to the Heaven in the realm next door, the one above the familiar Hell with the Hazbin Hotel. The architecture was almost the same. But unlike those angels with their blonde hair and red blushes, these angels most often had black hair and teal blushes on their pale cheeks. Like in the other Heaven, some of the bipedal angels displayed animal-like characteristics: some had heads of doves, others had swan wings and mannerisms. Many of them had fur, ears, and fluffy tails of dogs and wolves. It was the only place where dogs and cats could dance and prance together without conflict. Still a few others had faces of flowers or even objects like harps and musical instruments.

 God’s Palace was the grandest place of all: it was settled at the highest point of Heaven like Mount Olympus. Only a few angels were allowed to visit there. God’s abode, the Empyrean, had an elite group of angels guarding it. Seraph angels with six fiery rainbow wings guarded the throne of God, chanting “Holy, holy, holy!” much to the annoyance to those nearby. There were rumors that in the palace gardens, the Tree of Life and the Tree of Knowledge were grown there, heavily protected.

 Lucius and Lilian were Coercia’s parents, those who took the place of Lucifer and Lilith after they were banished. They were named the new king and queen of heaven (Under God and a few Archangels), thus Coercia became the princess.

 Lucius had a white face, teal blushes on his cheeks and short dark hair. Lucius wore a gray suit with a dark blue bow tie and a black top hat with two white feathers attacked to the brim. Lilian’s hair was long and black, and she too had the teal blushes and typical angel features. She wore a golden halo crown and an elegant white sequined dress. Both had white wings which could turn black when they were angry or defensive.

 In a nearby movie studio, Valentine the butterfly producer, Nil the TV angel and Ashen, the doll angel sat together playing a board game. Despite liking old fashioned shows and the like, they still controlled much of Heaven’s technology and media. Iris, owner of an emporium, cried as she crossed out the name of her former female colleague, Francesca.

 Along the street, a red car stopped beside the sidewalk. A tall creature opened the car door and stepped out. The spider angel had a furry dark gray face and body, plus multiple slender arms: six in total. He wore tall boots, green gloves and a shirt with a teal bow-tie near the top. His shirt and sleeves had black and dark green stripes. Green dots resembling eyes were located under his eyes.

 “Thank you for the ride,” said the spider angel.

 “No problem, Devil Grit,” said the driver Sivart, a white furry owl guy wearing a top hat. He tipped his hat to him and drove away.

 Devil Grit walked over to a vending machine and bought himself a granola bar. He then gave it to a homeless guy leaning against the wall.

 He walked inside a building and onto a stage in an auditorium. His opponent was already standing nervously at his spot, a microphone rising from the ground and stopping in front of him.

 Sir Anguis was the nervous white snake. He had a white face with large slightly teal eyes with white pupils. He wore a white bow tie with a blue circle in the center below his thin neck. Surrounding his face on a flap of skin were bright teal eyes against dark purple. His suit was light gray with dark purple vertical stripes. Finally, he wore a large light gray top hat with a large green moving eye in the center.

 The crowd settled into their seats and the debate began.

 “Those other brave do gooders will do great with helping me with my presentation. Anyone want to try?”

 A couple of hands shot up. Mechanical eggs on robotic legs moved around to help out the white snake lord.

 “Oh thank you, my Nestlings,” he said.

 Air Anguis pushed a button and a presentation showed up on a screen titled “Heaven Economics and Invention Ideas.”

 “I don’t like to fight,” Sir Anguis said, clearing his throat, “and I’m super nervous up here…”

 The Nestlings rolled their eyes.

 Devil Grit glared at his cowardly opponent who then yelped, “Don’t look at me like that!”

 “Heaven doesn’t need any future technology,” Devil Grit argued as he stepped to his podium, “because we already have better things: friendships, food, and fun.”

 Sir Anguis glanced down nervously at his note cards and read from them. “At this rate I will persuade the entire East end of Holy City by night’s beginning. Or was it day’s end? And nothing, not a single beauty in this paradise of bliss, will be able to change my mind or escape the constrictive grasp of persuasive argumentation.”

 “Heaven will be ours, though it’s mine in my mind. And everybody will know the name of…”

 “Scared Snake,” said a female voice.

 “W-who said that?” Sir Anguis asked.

 “You ready for a debate, old man?”

 The voice belonged to Berri Blossom, the opposite of Cherri Bomb in Hell. She was a tall cyclops with black skin, with a single green eye with a black cross in the center. She wore a long dark green dress and white high heeled shoes. Her black skin was decorated in some areas near her shoulders with tiny teal specks. Her long hair was curly, blue at the top and black near the bottom. She pushed her thin dark rimmed glasses up to her face, looking at her organized set of notes in front of her.

 She walked over beside her academic partner Devil Grit. “Why don’t you play with your tinker toys somewhere else while I go over the logistics of divine law school?” She looked professional and poised. “Seven Reasons Why Heavenly Traditions Never Fail.”

 “You want to go, madam?” Sir Anguis asked, a spark of rebellion in him. He fiddled with a few gadgets before the well-dressed Nestling eggs…egged him on to continue. He flicked his hood back. “Well, let the battle for tenure and status begin!”

  A neon logo appeared on the screen, saying “777 News” surrounded by a halo. The names of the news cast appeared on the bottom of the screen.

 “Good afternoon, Holy City!” smiled a pale woman with short black hair, wearing a light blue dress. “I’m Catie Carejoy!”

 “And I’m Ron Wrench!” said the man next to her, wearing a business suit and who had a wrench for a head.

After discussing the weather, various humane societies, and legends on Earth, Catie continued, “The debate battle is underway between inventor and coward Sir Anguis and professional economics expert Berri Blossom. Coming up next, we have an exclusive interview with the daughter of His Majesty Lucius, who’s here to discuss her brand new passion-project! All that and more after the break!”

 Inside the break room, Phalla the romantic butterfly angel adjusted Coercia’s white bow tie. Nearby, a blue tinted sign read “No smoking.” Another sign read “In The Air” in large letters.

 “Okay, you remember what to say?” Phalla asked Coercia.

 “Yes, I’m ready,” Coercia stated.

 Phalla brushed her long black hair from her face, the ends of her black hair teal. Like Vaggie in Hell, Phalla’s thick hair extended down to her legs, giving her hair the appearance of moth wings. She had a glowing green cross over her right eye and her left eye was purple with a white pupil. A teal bow was perched on top of her head. Her skin was light gray and she wore a dark gray crop top with white Xs over her breasts. She also wore leggings, her right legging striped dark green and light gray, her left legging light gray.

 “Oh this is gonna be great!” Phalla squealed happily. “How about you make your speech sound more exciting?”

 “Come on, Phalla, I know what I’m going to say,” Coercia answered, crossing her arms.

 Phalla walked over to the pitcher of ambrosia punch on the table. Pub and Chub ate bagels from the table. Phalla got an idea. “Oh! What if you…”

 “Sing a song about it?” Coercia asked, with a roll of her eyes. “I’m not going to. This is serious!” She curled her hand into a fist and brought it down on the palm of her other hand. “They won’t take me serious if I start belting out some random song. Life isn’t a musical.”

 “But neither is it an emo tragedy,” Phalla pointed out. “Life is great, especially with all the cute guys around.” Her single purple eye shinned.

 “Romance, bleh,” Coercia made a face and Phalla giggled.

“Hey,” Phalla brightened, pulling out a piece of paper. “I have some ideas about what you could say.” She bounced up and down. “The highlighted bits are the best parts!”

 “They’re all highlighted,” Coercia replied, scanning the paper. “You call your childish drawing your ideas for me?”

 “Sure!” Phalla said. “Look here.” It showed a list of different terms “sinners = winners” “Misunderstood are still good” and “demons and angels party between worlds!” Skulls were lined up at the bottom of the page: “we’re all connected by death.”

 “Say, that’s actually pretty good!” Coercia said with a smile of sharp teeth.

 “Thanks!” Phalla beamed.

 Coercia snatched the piece of paper from her friend and tore it in half, much to her shock. “But you should know my ideas are always better.” She tossed the pieces of paper aside, gave a salute and walked out the door.

 Catie waved with a smile. “Hi. I’m Catie Carejoy.” She held out her hand but Coercia didn’t take it, instead remarking, “You can put that away. I don’t touch commoners, I have standards.” Catie, looked stunned, pulling her hand back. “So this project of yours, when did you come up with this idea of creating a hotel in order to…break the law as the rumors say?”

 The angel crew murmured nervously.

 “I’m gonna keep this short,” Coercia said as she walked over to the desk. “You might think my idea doesn’t hold water, but that doesn’t matter to me. I’m too influential to give a flying feather about what some stuffy old news lady thinks of my proposal.”

 The crowd gasped. Ron shook his head.

 “Well, if you can’t take constructive criticism and be polite…”

“…and we’re live!” called a voice as a buzzer sounded.

 “And we’re back!” Catie said, rushing over into her seat. “So, Carrie…”

 “It’s Princess Coerciona Egnam,” said Coercia, sitting in a chair beside her and Ron Wrench.

 “Sorry. So tell us about your project.”

 Coercia took a deep breath. “As most of you know, I was born here in Heaven, and growing up, I’ve always tried to see the good in everything around me. But recently, I don’t believe that’s always the case. We just completed another Extermination. So many sinful souls lost but for what reason? God said in the Commandments “thou shall not kill,” yet killing random people is okay? If we can’t even trust ourselves with our actions and thoughts, is Heaven truly paradise? Not to mention that ever since Lucifer and Lilith betrayed Him, we don’t know who to really trust. Some people are given too many chances!” She pounded her fist on the desk, startling Catie.

 Coercia stood up and made her way forward. “No one is truly flawless. Mistakes are made, but we get blamed for doing things we sometimes enjoy. Sex, drugs, partying, swearing, even violence. All because we don’t live up to impossible standards imposed upon us, both here and on Earth! I can’t stand idly by while the place I live is subjected to such lies and propaganda! So, I’ve been thinking…isn’t there a more liberating way to hinder forced compliance here in Heaven? Perhaps we can create an alternative way to express change through…recreation?”

 The angels talked quietly amongst themselves. Phalla nodded in appreciation.

 “Well I think yes,” Coercia continued. “So that’s what this project aims to achieve.” She walked back to the desk and sat down. “Ladies and gentlemen, I’m opening the first of its kind, a hotel that encourages moderate amounts of so-called sin!” She spread out her arms.

 The audience stared in stunned silence. Many of the adults were shaking their heads.

 “Who is that girl?” asked a dragon watching from inside a soup kitchen. “What’s her deal with trying to cause more trouble for this world?”

“She’s nuts!” added another angel with an eagle’s head and wings, wearing a suit.

 Coercia added nervously while still trying to keep a glare, “I figure it would serve a purpose…a place to work toward self-expression. Yay.”

 Among the crowd of angels watching the news outside, a tall man with a thin pale face stood toward the back. He wore a light blue dress suit, had blue and white hair, fluffy deer-like ears, and large blue eyes. His white wings were folded behind him. He watched the program with a look of worry. A deer creature made of light appeared beside him. A sign posted on the wall showing the same man as a DJ read: “Counseling and good times with the Techno Angel!”

 A camera man shook his head at Coercia. Phalla walked up to him and pleaded, “Please give her a chance.”

 Coercia sighed. “Look, I know every single one of you has insecurities and issues that need not be bottled up. If you could just embrace those sides of yourselves…”

Coercia then smirked. “Maybe I’m not getting through to you.”

 Phalla clapped her hands and “ooohed” in excitement as Rub and Chub got the electric guitar ready.

 Coercia showed a pair of sharp white teeth and black curved horns emerged from her head. Black feathery wings sprouted from her back and an X appeared over her right eye. A harpoon appeared in her right hand and a spiked halo appeared over her head.  She was in her dark angelic Exorcist form. She posed over the desk and began.

 (“Inside of Every Angel is a Sinner”)

  “I have a dream

I’m here to tell

About a fantastic mind-blowing hotel

One of a kind, go and yell

A great place to dwell

Catering to specific clientele”

 *Guitar starts and scream vocals*

 “Inside of every angel is a sinner

Inside of every do-gooder is a beast

Inside of every jolly go-lucky mentality

Is a subconscious portion we know the least”

 “Resist all the rules

You’re not passive fools!

With just a little time

Down at the Hazbin Hotel!”

 “So all you rescuers, priests, and heroes

Gifted athletes, jocks, and cheerios

And the sheep citizens, relief is here!

All of you angels, leaders, and stars

Traditionalists with fancy cars

And the activists on Mars

Show no fear

No taboos, no laws

Embrace your flaws

You’ll be truly free

Check in with me

It’s the right path, you’ll see”

 “There’ll be no more pressure

And no more status quo

Just friendship, fun, and endless bags of dough

Establishment put to rest

You’ll be like, “Yes!”

In the tunnel of darkness you’ll go!”

 “So all your hierarchies, GMOs, politics, and isms

Lectures, labor standards, and diamond studded prisms

Ancient Indian elitisms

All must die”

 “All you fantasizers, artists, servers, and lords

Spoiled children, winners of awards

Imposers of chores

Face your fear!”

  “Be who you are

And you’ll go so far

Our service will raise the bar

You’ll be the star

Come from near or afar at the Hazbin Hotel!

Yeah!”

  “Wow,” said an angel in a top hat. “That was…alright.”

  The crowd clapped half-heartedly.

  Catie shook her head. “What in the Nine Levels makes you think a single denizen of Heaven would give two feathers about becoming a sinful person? You have no proof that your little experiment even works! You want people to disobey God and the rules just…because?!”

 Coercia lifted up her head. “Well, we have a patron already who believes in our cause.”

 “And who might that be?” Catie asked.

 “Oh just someone named…Devil Grit.”

 “The grumpy old spider?” asked Ron Wrench.

 “He’s not old,” argued Catie. “He just acts older than he is.”

 “Anyway,” said Catie to Coercia. “You couldn’t even get that guy to do something bad, even if a gun was pointed at his head.”

 “Oh I beg to differ,” Coercia argued. “He’s been troubled, dirty, and having conflicted thoughts for two weeks now.”

 “Breaking news!” called a voice as the screen changed to a recent debate shown in a building.

 The news came on, detailing Devil Grit and his recent TED talk about the 7 Heavenly Virtues.

 “Well, it looks like the one discussing the Heavenly Virtues is none other than…conservative Devil Grit! What a coincidence!”

 She and Ron did a “ratings!” and jazz hands.

 Corceria rolled her eyes.

 “I’m sorry to say, but it looks like your plan’s departed on arrival,” said Catie. “I hope you learned a good lesson here.”

 Coercia’s eyes twitched, her teeth barred. “Lesson?! I’ll teach you a lesson, bitch!”  The princess and Catie fought fist and claw on the desk. Ron called for security.

 After Coercia was kicked out, Phalla followed her wordlessly to the white limo. Devil Grit, Phalla, and Coercia rode back to the hotel.

 Devil Grit lounged in the far seat, wearing an outfit of black with green stripes and green gloves on his four hands.

 “Devil,” said Phalla with concern. “I know you were trying to do good by doing your professional speech. But could you please try not to help society in public? Now people won’t believe us when Coercia says that people are free to express their earthly desires.”

 “I’m sorry Phalla,” said Devil from the other seat, “But I have a reputation to keep up. Helping the greater good is His plan for all of us. Besides, a good professional debate is a reasonable form of self-expression right?”

 “Not to everyone,” said Phalla. “What about the hotel? People are thinking that you don’t care about Coercia’s project at all.”

 “I do care, senorita,” said Devil. “I just don’t think it’s going to be easy to accomplish in such a short time. So many angels are fixated on tradition, myself included.”

 “I do appreciate all of your help,” said Coercia, still fuming after the interview, arms crossed. “But I will make this project work, even if I have to do it myself.”

 The white limo pulled up in front of the hotel, a pristine building made of glass and marble. The group got out of the car and stepped inside.

 White wings made of rainbow scales posed as part of the structure on the roof. The stained glass windows by the door were decorated with apples, a tree of life, and many shades of blue and green. The sign above read “Hazbin Hotel” in big letters on the roof. Inside the lobby, a painting of Adam reaching toward God was displayed on the high ceiling. The hotel had seven floors with seven rooms on each floor. There was even a lab down in the basement which belonged to a man named Baker, the opposite of the demon fish scientist Baxter from Hell. A bowl of blue berries and blue raspberries sat on a table below a welcome banner. Phalla rested on a couch while Devil Grit munched on a granola bar.

 “It’s probably a good idea to stock up some more food in this place,” said Devil Grit. “Good or bad, people always seem to be greedy when they’re hungry.”

 Devil Grit pulled out a chart and went over probabilities and graphs regarding the hotel and the potential number of visitors. Coercia just sighed and walked away toward the door. She went outside and took out her cell phone, calling her mom.

 “Carol cakes!” called her mother through the phone. Coercia cringed.

 “Mom, I told you not to call me that! I’m not a little kid anymore.”

 “Sorry, I can’t help it,” said Lilian with a giggle. “How was the interview?”

 “Meh. It was alright. I proposed my idea, but nobody seemed to buy it.”

 Lilian’s tone turned more serious. “Coercia, why do you insist that everyone must go down to that horrible place? Why can’t you just see the good in people?”

 “Because,” Coercia said, “Everyone has flaws and they don’t realize it.”

 “Yes, but that also applies to you, too. Before you get involved with the lives of others, you need to look inside and critique yourself.”

 “I’m a princess. Everyone else has more flaws than I do.”

 Lilian let out a long sigh. “Young lady, we’ve been through this I don’t know how many times. You have to push your selfish thoughts aside and just accept the way things are. It’s part of a higher purpose.”

 “And what is this “higher purpose” anyway? To be His flock of dazed sheep, dancing around without any care in the world? To not experience ecstasy and adventure, even for just a moment?”

 “That stuff is dangerous and forbidden. Thousands of souls would do anything to get up to this level of Heaven. And you just want to throw your life away?”

 Coercia paused in thought. “If it means proving myself and serving Him in a way I see fit, then so be it.”

 “You have delusions of what entertainment and happiness is, Carol. Sometimes, you need to take the time and appreciate the beauty that’s in front of you.”

 “Other than my own refection, I don’t really see beauty in many other things. Well, heavy metal and watching battles…oh and watching sinners beg for their last breaths…”

 “You have a lot to learn, dear daughter,” Lilian replied. “I’ll leave you alone to think about it.”

 “Whatever.”

 “Love you.”

 “Love you too. Bye.”

  Coercia hung up and went back inside, shutting the door behind her. She leaned against the door frame, closing her eyes in frustration…trying to hold back a stream of tears from the stress.

  Just then, there was a knock on the door. Two knocks, four ones, then a last one. Coercia turned around with a sigh to answer it. She swung the stained glass door open. From outside stood a tall slender man with a pale light gray face, wearing a light blue pinstriped dress coat. A white upward cross was part of the design on his light blue undershirt. He was carrying a modern microphone atop a staff in his left hand. His small antlers were white and his hair and deer ears were blue with white tips. A monocle rested under his left eye. Coercia narrowed her eyes.

 “Hi, excuse me…” he spoke quietly. “Is this…”

 Coercia angrily slammed the door in his face.

 She opened it again.

 “…the right address?” finished the man.

 “No!” she shouted, slamming it again.

 “Hey Phalla!” called Coercia.

 “What?” her friend asked.

 “The crybaby Deer Man is at the door!”

 “What?!” she asked, blushes appearing on her cheeks.

 “Who?” asked Devil Grit.

 “What should I do?”

 “Well…let him in!” Phalla cried, eye shining.

 Coercia rolled her eyes and scoffed. She sighed and opened the door again.

 “May I talk now?” the man asked in a radio voice.

 “Sure, whatever,” Coercia said.

 The man held out a white gloved four-fingered hand. “Rotsala, it’s a pleasure to meet you, miss.” He walked in. Worry was etched on his face. “I saw your interview on the picture show and I was worried sick! I was afraid you were never coming back after your argument. Why I haven’t been that upset since the 1929 Stock Market Crash!” He sniffed, “So many poor orphans…”

 “Hello there!” Phalla called with a smile, staring up and walking in front of him. She greeted in Spanish. “I’m so glad you’re here to help out my friend with this new hotel! I’m a big fan of yours and just being in your presence is just…” She swooned. “Oh just take me already you cute, pompous, talk show, blueberry pimp lord!”

 She embraced him and he stood stunned, his face blushing. “I do love hugs,” he whispered as she stepped back. “I bet all of you would be so nice and soft after we get to know each other for a while…”

 Phalla blushed while Devil Grit and Coercia made disgusted faces. “Not gonna happen, creep,” Devil Grit said.

 Rotsala gave a nervous laugh, and popped a strawberry and blueberry into his mouth.

 “You’re not gonna cling to us are you?” Phallas asked. “Or, you know…”

“Dear, if I wanted to screw anyone here…I would’ve done so already.”

 Rotsala tilted his head. His blue eyes briefly glowed with blue upside down radio dials in them. Electricity sparked around cyan colored voodoo symbols in the air. His eyes filled with tears, tears spilling down his pale gray cheeks.

 Phalla watched in bliss, while Devil and Coercia rolled their eyes at the show-off.

 Rotsala shook his head and his eyes returned to normal blue.

 “No, I’m here because I want to relax and help out.”

 “Say what?” Coercia asked, eyebrow raised.

Rotsala held up his staff which glowed blue. He said with a sad crack in his voice, “Goodbye, is this thing off?”

 He tapped it. A blue sad looking eye appeared in the center of the microphone. It spoke in a mechanical voice. “You’re silent, quiet and unclear!”

 “That’s your motivation motto every day?” Devil Grit asked, crossing his four arms. “Pathetic!”

 “Tragic and mysterious, I love it!” Phalla squealed. “It’s like the opposite of announcing. It’s…denouncing.”

 Devil Grit elbowed her. “Hun, could you not get attracted to every other man you see?  I’m your boyfriend.”

 “I can’t help it, love!” she cried. “I just get so distracted easily.”

  “Um…you want to help?” Coercia asked.

 Rotsala appeared behind them after morphing into light.

 “With…” he spoke in her growl then his normal shy sounding voice, “…this random thing you’re trying to do. This hotel. I want to help you run it, if that’s okay.”

 “Uh…why?”

 Rotsala choked a bit on his words. “Why doesn’t anyone do anything? Sheer absolute lethargy! I’ve been partying around and keeping busy for decades. I would like to do something more relaxing and easier.”

  “My work became overwhelming, lacking focus. I’ve come to crave a new form of disengagement!”

 Coercia rolled her eyes. “Does getting into a fist fight with a reporter count as disengagement?”

 “No,” Rotsala said. “It’s violent and messy, not really my thing. Life is truly strange…reality, fantasy, true tragedy. After all the world is a grave, and the grave is a world of disengagement!”

 Coercia brightened a bit. “So, does this mean you think it’s possible to taint an angel? That life is meaningless without your own self to temporarily control it.”

 Rotsala sniffed and held up a hand. “Who knows? Anything’s possible. Sinning, oh the vice of humanity! I think there’s plenty left that can change such marvelous saints. But then again, the chance that was given to them was the life they lived before. The reward is this!” He spread out his arms. “According to God, there’s no undoing what is done…or at least that’s the way it should be.”

“So then, why do you want to help me if you don’t fully believe in my cause?” Coercia asked.

 Rotsala turned around to look at her. “Consider it an investment in ongoing knowledge for myself and others.” He let out a small smile. “I want to watch the blessed of this world struggle to give into temptation, only to repeatedly realize and raise themselves up the golden ladder of success!” His eyes glowed blue.

 “Right…” Coercia began.

 “Yes indeed,” Rotsala said, both of them walking off to the side. “I see you taking risks and who better to keep you grounded than I.”

 “Ah, so what’s the deal with Mr. Frown over there?” Devil Grit asked.

 “Wait, you’ve never heard of him before?” Phalla asked. “You’ve been here longer than me!”

 Devil shrugged his shoulders.

 “The Techno Angel, one of the most complex beings Heaven as ever seen?”

 “Eh, I’m not too big on people.”

 Phalla sighed and leaned in close to explain.

 “Decades ago, Rotsala manifested in Heaven, seemingly in one day. He began to catch the attention of overlords and archangels who had kept to themselves for centuries. That kind of attraction and magic power had never been harnessed by a mortal soul before. Then, he broadcast his adventures all throughout Heaven just so everyone could experience some joy, tragedy and emotions. Saints starting calling him the Techno Angel, (as unoriginal as that is). Many have speculated what unimaginable force enabled him to rival our world’s most ancient and constructive heroes. But one thing’s for sure: he’s an unpredictable source of silliness, a depressed spirit of mystery and a loving being of order…or disorder, the likes of which we can get involved in, especially if we want to end up aroused!”

 “You done?” Devil asked. “He looks like a blueberry businessman. Or a shady con-man. Either way, you’re delusional.”

 “Well, I trust him completely!”

 “Do you blindly trust any man? All men?”

 Phalla skipped over to Coercia. Rotsala examined a family portrait of Lucius, Lilian and a young Coercia in the center. Young Coercia wore a white dress with a turquoise top to it. Her hair was jet black, braided in black barbed wire, her cheeks had teal blushes. Her mother had long black hair and wore a fancy white dress and a round gold crown. Her father was dressed in a dress suit of white and blue, with blue and black stripes in the center below a white bow tie. He wore a large light gray top hat with a dove and a green apple on it. His cane also had a green apple on the top. Both of them were smiling, showing rows of sharp teeth, white wings folded behind them.

 “Coercia, listen to me, you can believe this dreamer. He isn’t just a sad face. He’s a miracle maker, pure good! But… don’t count on him to believe in your cause. He could be tainted and rebel, but we don’t know that. He could very well side with God and your parents. And he’s most likely looking for a way to hinder everything we’re trying to do if it means following God’s rules. But still, give him a chance. He’s really sweet.”

 “I…” Coercia began. “…we don’t know that. Look, he’s a crying bitch, and he probably doesn’t want to change.”

 Phalla put her hands on her friend’s shoulders.

 “The whole point of your hotel is to give people a chance! To have faith things will be better and people can embrace their flaws, their true selves! How can you turn someone away? You can’t. It goes against everything you’re trying to do. Everything you believe in.”

 Coercia looked downcast. Her friend had a good point. She hated when people made good arguments against her. But it also gave her a chance to consider her thoughts. Phalla kept her grounded and added some cheer to her overall fake afterlife. Coercia smiled at her.

 “You take care of yourself,” she said to Phalla.

“Coercia,” warned Phalla, “Unless you are serious about responsibility, do not make a promise with him!”

 Demons often made deals with each other that often resulted in gaining power at the cost of one’s soul or freedom. Usually the one who initiated the deal would gain advantage. A demonic deal was bad in and of itself. Breaking an angelic promise could result in rejection, eternal torture and damnation.

 “Don’t worry,” said Coercia. “I learned one thing from my dad.” She mimicked his low voice, “Ya don’t break trust with other angels!”

 Coercia marched over to the Techno Angel.

 “Ok Mr. Rot... You’re prissy as fuck, and you clearly see what I’m trying to do here is a too-dangerous risk. But I don’t.”

 Glowing blue symbols briefly appeared around a concerned Rotsala, then vanished.

 Coercia continued. “I think everyone deserves a chance to prove they can be themselves. After all, it’s in their nature and the sooner they realize it, the better. So, I’m taking your offer to help. On the condition there be no lessons or lovey-dovey speeches made.”

 Rotsala twirled his cane and held out his smallest finger from his right hand.

“So, it’s a promise, then?”

 The room was surrounded by a pink aura as light spirits roamed around the walls. The wind blew against Phalla’s and Devil’s faces.

 “Nope!” Coercia yelled, holding out her hands. The energy stopped. “No shaking, no promises! I…hmmm…”

 She paused in thought.

 “As Princess of Heaven and heir to the throne, I hereby order that you help out with this hotel for as long as you desire.”

 A moment of pause…

 “Sound fair?”

 “Fair enough,” Rotsala said with a slump of his shoulders and walked on. His cane vanished.

 Rotsala stopped and spotted Phalla to the side.

 Phalla went up and tickled him under the chin, much to his shock.

 “Smile, deer man!” she said.

 Rotsala walked on, speechless.

  “So…where is your hotel staff?” Rotsala asked Coercia.

 “Uh well,” Coercia began. Rotsala peered at Phalla through his monocle below his left eye.

 He stuttered. “You’re going to n-need more than that.”

 Rotsala walked over to Devil Grit, who was sitting on a stool.

 “And what can I do, my business fellow?” asked Rotsala walking over to the dark furred spider, blushing.

 “You can suck a dick,” Devil retorted in a grumpy tone.

 “AH! Ok,” said Rotsala, blushing and stepping back. “Can it be yours?”

 “Fuck off,” Devil added, pulling out a long knife from his belt.

 Rotsala summoned his cane. “Well this just won’t do. You want others to cause trouble, yes? I suppose I can cash in a few favors to deaden things up!”

 He snapped his fingers and the wall beside the fireplace cracked. The circle went dark, the fire going out. Ice cold water appeared to fill in the circle and a shadowy figure solely formed inside. Rotsala walked over and removed the dripping figure from the water. A large single purple eye was revealed.

 Devil Grit, Phalla and Coercia peered at the creature. With a balloon deflating sound and a puff of white smoke, the figure was revealed.

 “This little rascal is Klutzy!” Rotsala announced with a worried smile, dropping the figure.

 A black-skinned short cyclops female landed on her face on the floor. She stood up with a grumpy look on her face. She wore a dark green skirt with a white stray cat off to the left side. Her arms and legs were white and stick-shaped. Several blue dots stood out from the lighter green color of her skirt. Her shirt was black with cyan paint spots off to the right. Her large eye took up much of her pale white face; it was dark blue with a white pupil. Her short hair was teal with a dark blue spot off to the left.

 “I’m Klutzy,” she grumbled, clenching her fists. “It’s a waste of time to meet you. It’s been a while since I’ve seen strangers.”

  Her pupil narrowed from side to side.

 “Why are you all men?” she asked. “Have any women here? Or video games? Screw this place.”

 She briefly picked up Coercia, then let go.

 “Oh man, this place is boring!” she exclaimed. She ran over to a vase and proceeded to knock it over with her elbow. It shattered to pieces on the floor. She tossed couch cushions aside.

 “It really needs a more manly touch, disorganized clutter’s more fun.” She grinned as she poured dirt from a flower pot onto the rug.

 “Yes, yes, yep, yeah!” she yelled as she proceeded to break windows and knock down more stuff. Then she plopped down on a couch once the room was messy. “I’m bored. Make me some food or something.”

 Phalla, Devil, and Coercia looked on in worry, Rotsala just stared off into space. “She has quite the temper sometimes.”

 A cat angel was working on a Rubik’s cube with colleagues. His furry face was black, framed by white fur. His little top hat was white with a blue band across it. A big teal bow tie was under his neck, over his black furry chest framed by white fur. His wings were a brilliant blue, with black and red mathematical symbols on either side: the pi symbol, E = mc squared, signs for addition, subtraction, multiplication and division, among others. More symbols were visible within his two pointed ears. His teeth were sharp and purple and his long eyebrows were teal. His eyes were purple and sclera white. The angel placed a Rubik’s cube in front of him. “Ha!” he declared in triumph. Read ‘em and weep, boys! Full…whoa…”

 He felt himself being transported in a flash of light to the hotel. Part of the science room that the cat had been in was merged with the hotel lobby…posters of the elements, the solar system and Biblical works of art.

 “What in Heaven’s name is going on?

 Then he brightened when he saw Rotsala. “You!”

“Ah, Core, my old friend,” Stalaro sniffed, his head briefly looking like it was in between antlers from a stuffed deer head on the wall. “You made it.”

 “Glad to see you, you son of the sun!” Core said. “I just completed my Rubik’s cube after just an hour.”

 The cube vanished as Rotsala looked on.

Core raced over to Rotsala and embraced him in a side hug. The deer-like man blushed. “So, what can I help you with this time?”

 Rotsala blinked nervously. “C-Can we snuggle?”

 Core laughed. “I mean, seriously, why’d you bring me here?”

 “My friend, I’m doing some dirty work, so I took it upon myself to volunteer your services. If that’s okay?”

 “You must be joking,” Core said, laughing nervously.

 “I don’t think so,” he replied.

 “You thought it’d be a great idea just to pull me out of nowhere? You think I’m some kind of tragic boy?”

 “Maybe,” Rotsala sighed, as crying sounds came from his microphone.

 “I ain’t doing no dirty work.”

 Rotsala appeared behind him. “Well I figured you would be the perfect face to greet and critique the guests at this fine establishment.”

 He pointed his staff off toward a stand with vegetable drinks as claps and boos sounded from his staff.

 “With your grumpy cat face and love of solitude…”

 Core lifted up the corners of Rotsala mouth with his paws. “Aw come on, Al, Don’t forget to smile once in a while!”

 His mouth frowned once he let go.

 Rotsala walked over to the stand. “Don’t worry, my friend. I can make this more interesting…if you wish.”

 He conjured up a bottle of catnip with his finger.

 Core stared with wide happy eyes. “What, you think you can buy me with sad eyes and some cheap catnip? Well, you can!” He purred and took the bottle with him.

 Coercia, Devil, and Phalla arrived.

 “Yes, yes, yes!” Phalla squealed. “Brilliant idea to have healthy drinks!”

 “No!” Coercia protested. “This is supposed to be a place that encourages sin! Not some kind of, frilly, Zen, child’s play…”

 Core noticed Devil Grit and slid up to him. “Hey cutie,” he flirted.

 “Go screw yourself,” muttered Devil Grit.

 “Only if you watch me,” Core joked. “Or more likely, Rotsala will watch you.”

 Coercia leaned in close to Core. “Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel! You are going to go insane here!” She grinned, her teeth sharp.

 “We’re all mad here,” Core replied, sniffing the catnip.

 Rotsala walked in, an ever-present frown on his face. “S-so, what do you think?”

 Rotsala ran over to him. “This is horrible!” she spat.

 “It’s amazing!” Phalla beamed.

 Phalla leaned in close between Coercia and Rotsala, embracing them in a hug.

 “This is going to be very disengaging,” Rotsala exclaimed. Dubstep sounds emitted from his mouth as he stared around with worry. He stepped away from Phalla. “Coercia, I can’t lose you. We can’t lose you.”

 Rotsala changed his light blue suit into a dark blue funeral outfit with a matching top hat. He did the same with Coercia, Devil Grit, Core, Klutzy, and Phalla, who were all wearing black clothing from the early 1900s. Coercia wore a short tan flapper dress and a round matching ladies’ hat. She and Klutzy stared at their outfits in disgust, while Devil Grit, Core and Phalla smiled as they stared at theirs. The room changed, the walls now covered with Voodoo symbols, Christian crosses and deer antlers.

 “Take it boys,” Rotsala said. Light spirits appeared and played violins, a piano, and a flute in a sad symphony.

 Rotsala sang his reprise to Coercia as they did a slow dance. Coercia looked annoyed but Rotsala smiled.

  (“Stalaro’s lament Reprise”)

 “You’re on a mission

Your innocence fell

And it’s so dangerous but hey, I wish you well

Yes your blunt protests

Will send you straight to Hell

And I can’t bear to see you banished, or your soul up to sell”

  “Don’t bring your life to an end

No matter what you say, I’m still your friend

We all have our wounds to mend

And you’re vulnerable feelings are real, don’t pretend”

 “Inside of every angel is love and emotion

They have values and lasting devotion (devotion to God)

While you recruit those around

Don’t be swallowed by the ground

The authorities can retrieve you tight and bound (no turning around)”

 “Here above the sky

Spread your wings and fly

They’ll spend a little time

Down at this Haven Ho…”

  An explosion rattled the windows. Klutzy saw a door flying toward her face and she broke it in half with a karate chop.

 The room and everyone’s clothing returned to normal.

 Everyone looked outside and saw a podium in the air, held up by flying metallic eggs. A familiar snake debater appeared.

 “Look who it is harboring the striped annoying opponent! We meet again, Rotsala!”

 “Do I know you?” Rotsala asked.

 Tears came to Anguis’ eyes. “Oh yes, you do! Watch this presentation!”

 The eggs danced in the air, singing a song about Sir Anguis trying his best to rule Heaven. He read from notecards. “You all can’t compete with me. Your hotel sucks. I…shall…destroy it…with… my…”

 Rotsala giggled and blushed. “Your baby weiner havor?”

 Anguis looked up from his cards in anger. “Not like that, pervert!”

 Rotsala snapped his fingers. A portal appeared and white tentacles shot out, knocking the podium off balance. The metal eggs knocked into Sir Anguis and he yelled, “Ow that hurt! Show mercy!”

 Rotsala used a drop of his blood and the podium exploded in green smoke.

 Sir Anguis emerged from the crater, arm shaking, fangs shattered. Rotsala waved a hand and the snake was healed.

 “Shoot me with your ray gun,” said a metal egg beside him. Sir Anguis face-planted on the ground.

 Rotsala looked on, sadly while everyone else stared, stunned.

 “Anyone hungry?” Rotsala asked turning around. “Please don’t make me cook jambalaya. It’s way too spicy and it nearly killed me! I much prefer tea and sugared strawberries, oh the way they melt in my mouth… but anyway, you could say the kick brought me straight into Heaven.”

 Rotsala lead the way back to the hotel, the group following him.

 “Yes sir, new changes are about to take place. Now…”

 Rotsala waved his finger at the lit up sign above the glass, gem-encrusted building on the roof.

 The sign changed from “Hazbin Hotel” to “Haven Hotel.”

 “Stay tuned.” He finished with low whimpers.

[mittensmorgul]

I find it endlessly fascinating that I can rewatch 12.19 now post 14.20, and still fundamentally feel exactly the same way about it.

Jack’s power tapped into Cas and did exactly what it did for Kelly. Jack’s power ensured Jack’s safety through whatever means necessary. Kelly needed proof that Jack was not evil, not a force of pure destruction that would tear down the world, and she got it when he resurrected her. But as Dagon and Cas both pointed out, that was at least partly in Jack’s own self-interest. He still needed Kelly’s body to ensure his own survival. But Kelly was unshakable in her belief after Jack’s power touched her, despite not understanding it herself. The vision Jack sent her of the sandbox, that was her point of no return. Yes, Jack’s power was able to use Cas to destroy Dagon, but Joshua also died in the process. All of this was still arguably done for Jack’s own self-interest, or he could’ve saved Joshua, too.

This all becomes entirely evident in 13.01, where Jack’s singular focus after birth is finding Castiel, because he “chose” him to be his parental figure. Jack himself had no understanding of his own power at that point, no understanding of humanity or reality in general (he knocked out Sam and Dean as a reaction to Dean brandishing a gun at him and then wandered off naked in search of answers i mean...).

There is no rational interpretation of this that allows one to assume that whatever vision Jack showed Cas in 12.19 was a True Rendering Of Future Events. It was as much a manipulation of Cas as anything Chuck has ever done to any of TFW. 

Because it preyed on Castiel’s fundamental self-doubt, the absolute low point we see brought to fruition by his death in 12.23 and then his experiences confronting the Empty Entity in 13.04. It promised Cas the one thing he had failed over and over and over to secure for himself, for Dean, as he explicitly says in this episode: a win. Defeating Dagon-- even at the cost of Joshua’s life, even at the cost of the Colt destroyed, even at the cost of literally abandoning Sam and Dean because Jack’s power only needed Cas and Sam and Dean had proved to be a potential threat-- this was still something Cas considered a “win.”

And that proved, yet again, to have been the wrong choice. And heck, have we seen Jack make “wrong choices for the right reasons” over and over and over again for the last few years. Up to and including his “stop lying!” in 14.20.

My tag for a while has been “lies and damn lies,” because not all lies are bad. Some lies can hurt terribly... and some “truths” can destroy everything.

Jack didn’t show Cas some objective truth, but what he thought he needed to see to secure his help. He gave Cas something he could have faith in, and he put his faith in Cas. He showed Cas a way he could be useful. He gave Cas hope that he might not be a complete failure, and gave him purpose, gave him a mission...

With Chuck’s revelations in 14.20, that he directly “provided” the BMoL as an antagonist, and now rewatching 12.21 is just... wild. Like the antagonism and gamesmanship, the mistrust of everyone including the people in their own organization, the complete isolation and control the entire organization inflicts on their members up to and including brainwashing, torture, forcing their operatives to destroy any connection through friendship or family from the time they’re children, in order to secure their complete obedience to The Code... well...

We paralleled them to the sort of Angelic Obedience that Heaven has always enforced through the same methods-- literally brainwashing, absolute control and obedience, secured through “reprogramming” via torture if necessary. And now we KNOW, we have proof from Chuck’s own mouth that this was just another retelling of his own original story. All the glowing crosses in the room Mary is imprisoned is just another version of Naomi’s Heaven. There is no difference. And what were they taking from her? To ensure her compliance?

Free Will.

This is what Heaven has always tortured out of Cas. Every time he was dragged back for disobedience, for compassion, for having too much heart, his free will was crushed out of him. And yet... we still had s6. Cas inadvertently (with a bit of manipulation on Crowley’s part and a desire to protect his loved ones, or well... specifically to protect Dean) set himself up as the leader who demanded absolute obedience, because in his mind he was doing the only thing that could save the world again, from Raphael and his loyal angels’ plan to free Lucifer and Michael again.

We KNOW that Cas would do anything to protect Dean, to spare him from ever having to say Yes to Michael. Because that is eventually what would’ve happened. This cycle appeared doomed to repeat itself ad nauseum as long as the angels remained obedient to the ruler in Heaven. They may have technically “won” at Stull in 5.22, but just barely, and at an unacceptable cost.

And then Cas HIMSELF freed Lucifer, brought this burden down on all of them, and felt responsible for fixing the messes that made. He could spare Dean. He could clean up his mess, he could prove that he hadn’t done more harm than good... he could again sacrifice himself.

He could cut all ties to the Winchesters, cut the temptation to ask for their help and endanger them, because Jack chose him, Jack gave him the ability to have faith in himself. Because that was the one thing Cas thought he needed. He didn’t feel like he’d earned his place as a Winchester. As part of this family. And he still needed to prove he could be useful. That’s what Jack gave to him, even through all his doubts.

But Cas... despite all of his progress toward humanity, all his understanding of Free Will, still hasn’t understood this final lesson. Even through s14 when he helped Jack come to terms with his own loss of power, he’s only just begun to understand that there’s never really been a choice between peace or freedom. And in 14.20, Chuck demonstrated that completely.

Cas clung desperately to the hope that Jack could still serve as his point of usefulness to the Winchester family. His faith in himself was shaken through Jack’s first death, to the point he was willing to sacrifice himself on the spot in a final act of usefulness in returning Jack to Sam and Dean. His self-worth was still directly tied to what he could do for Sam and Dean. And isn’t that just horrifying.

He deceived himself as much as every BMoL agent who played into Hess’s power games-- dangling the promotion to Mick’s job over both Toni and Ketch and winding them both up over it. He decieved himself as much as both Crowley and Lucifer did through their own power plays. Because ALL of it would eventually prove pointless. They ALL died for it in the end. Burned to the ground and rendered irrelevant by the story, by the storyteller. By Chuck.

Jack... is the disruptor. Jack is the thing that Chuck can’t account for in the story. The Big Bad of s13 (I said back then) was Dramatic Irony and Miscommunication, but in light of 14.20, I’d venture to say that might still be true, but it was also about Chuck desperately trying to provide a distraction that would lead to Jack’s neutralization.

Cas never could win while Chuck had always been controlling the game. Chuck sets the rules. He’s proven he can override the rules with a snap of his fingers. He could’ve “fixed” everything at any time. He could’ve rewarded Cas with a win at any time. He could’ve ended the fighting between Lucifer and Michael at any time. He could’ve sealed off the alternate universes or ended them or even returned to the Apocalypse AU and given Michael the explanation he’d burned down that world in hopes of getting. But he never intended any of that, because it wouldn’t serve his story. He can’t write endings. He can’t even truly extract himself from his own story.

And as long as Chuck continues to author the rules of the universe, this will always, only, ever be the story. Jack is the disruptor. He’s the thing Chuck can’t account for. And not even Jack understands this yet.

But I’m betting this is what Billie and the Entity will be explaining to him in that realm where Chuck’s power has no influence.

I’ve been wondering since 11.23, after Chuck explained to Dean that he was the “firewall between light and darkness,” and the supposed unification of Chuck and Amara, what would keep those two forces united once they supposedly left the world in Dean’s hands. Now with the proof delivered to us in 14.20, it’s clear that without Dean uniting them, Chuck and Amara effectively went their own ways, unable to maintain that balance on their own. Chuck ditched Amara in Reno (divorce capital of the world!), lost his ending because he didn’t want his favorite story to end. He can’t help himself, because it’s literally what he is.

Jack has what neither Chuck nor Amara do... balance. Hard won through all the experiences of his short life. Not just the experience of “good” and “bad,” but of the vast grey area in between. He’s the embodiment of unification. He’s a walking duality, and neither part of him can survive on its own. But he’s not just a duality. Unified, he transcends it entirely. He’s more than the sum of his parts. Without his grace he isn’t just a human, and without his soul he isn’t just an angel.  And it’s taken him this long to begin to learn this.

And he never could’ve come to this point if he hadn’t forced Chuck’s hand into dropping the curtain. As much as Jack proved to be a uniting force for TFW, even through their darkest hour when Dean believed Chuck and followed the story Chuck wanted to tell-- of forcing Dean to sacrifice Jack and himself for the sake of the world. Dean couldn’t do it in the end, because Jack isn’t a disruptor to him anymore. Through everything they’d been through because of Jack-- going all the way back to 12.08 and his very conception-- through having their entire family torn apart because of Jack, because of his very existence, this round of the story eventually has come full circle.

Now, with all of the story between then and now laid bare, I don’t know how assumption can be made in retrospect that this is always what Jack showed Cas in 12.19. This is literally the opposite of what Cas described. Because what Cas thought he wanted in 12.19-- to be useful, to win within the context of the narrative of his existence as he understood it at the time, was always only ever a lie.

There was never any escape from Chuck’s Grand Story, except by seeing it for what it really was. There was never truly Free Will for any of Team Free Will. And in 12.19, it’s not even what Cas wanted. He wanted his family safe by any means necessary, he wanted to feel that he had a purpose in securing that, when the overarching force controlling the entire universe expressly prevented that from ever being a possibility.

And now, Chuck has proven that. By Jack’s third death (the death of his grace in 13.23 by Lucifer, the death of his soul in 14.08 through 14.14 by Michael, and then his ultimate death by Chuck’s own hand in 14.20), he’s been torn apart and now reassembled in a microcosm of the entirety of creation itself.

Jack isn’t just a mirror for Cas. He isn’t even just a mirror for TFW. He’s the embodiment of the grand narrative of Creation itself. He’s light, darkness, and his own firewall that holds it all in balance. And that has been the story of HIS journey, as the combined reflection for all of TFW, but also as the firewall between Divinity and Humanity.

As above, so below. And Jack is the force that connects it all. 

[timeclonemike]

Delta Rune Speculation

So it’s been two weeks, and there’s already 200 plus fics on AO3 and dozens of remixes and arrangements of the soundtrack on YouTube. That’s not even touching on the theories that are coming together. I recently saw one theory that double downed on the whole discarded classroom with toys thing, with the Darkners basically being a “Toy Story” scenario and the Spade King trying to pull a “Small Soldiers” scenario.

And while the parallels between the Darkners and assorted toys, and the layout of the Dark World and the Classroom, are all too much of an overlap to ignore, I suspect that there’s something more to the whole game than simply toys coming to life and wanting revenge for not being played with. I had some thoughts that I contributed in my reblog of that person’s theory, but this post is a little bit more meta, and concerns itself primarily with the tone of the final game, if and when it gets completed. But first, we need to talk a little bit about Undertale. I’ll make it quick, I promise.

Simply put, the big thing that made Undertale stand out was how your choices distinctly affected the world you were in, and the way people responded to you based on those choices. The sheer difference in tone and content between True Pacifist and Genocide is about as different and distinct as you can get in any game that features multiple endings, especially when many games opted to make the multiple endings contingent on last second choices (Deus Ex instantly comes to mind) rather than being something that you had to commit to. Not only that, but even the small choices in the sense of dialog, the order in which characters were spoken to, and even the use and contents of your inventory meant that the game had more “immersion” in the sense of responding dynamically to player choice than a lot of Triple A games with hyper-realistic graphics engines.

The way Undertale responded to different choices was a twist, then attraction, and finally a statement about how people saw the world and interacted with it. Especially those who thought that actions taken in this isolated digital environment had no consequences beyond that environment. It was a game about how people acted when they had tremendous power to influence the world.

Therefore, I think that the meaning of Delta Rune’s “your choices don’t matter” and “nobody can choose who they are in this world” is that the game will be about how people respond when confronted by circumstances they can’t control.

For more of my rambling, click the link below.

I’ll be addressing three main points: The nature of the Dark World and the Fountains of Darkness, the Dichotomy between how choice is handled in the Light and Dark Worlds, and the few clues that we have about W D Gaster and his influence.

1. The Nature of the Dark World.

The playing card themed enemies, the puzzle pieces, the chess board and the crowned checker piece, plus some of the hints about Ralsei’s nature and origin, all indicate that the Darkners have some connection with the toys in the unused classroom and probably the materials and objects in the supply closet as well. (I still do not know what those things were in the opening area of the Dark World that shot bullets at Kris, or the significance of all that black gooey dark stuff apparently coming out of the eye shaped structures.) Susie is not the type of person to let her guard down and just skip class with Kris while playing make believe all day... at least not at the start of the game... so the events of Chapter One had some foundation in reality.

This brings us to the fountains and the legend Ralsei shares. Everything hinges on a classic balance between opposing forces, in this case Light and Dark. Too much of one or the other will break the world in some way, and in this instance, there is an excess of Darkness. Under the direction of the mysterious Knight, and the Queen that only Jevil mentions if you kick his ass, the Spade King is seeking to upset the balance by increasing the Darkness. Assuming that Kris, Susie, and Ralsei don’t stop these fountains, then the same force at work in the Dark World that drew Susie and Kris into it will spread beyond the school, and into the rest of the town.

It is my position that Darkness in this case, represents Imagination, and its ability to create worlds symbolically. Keeping a balance between the physically real and the mentally real is important; too much of the physical and you end up in an All Work And No Play Makes Jack A Dull Boy scenario. The other way around, you spend too much time daydreaming - or consumed by anxiety - to deal with the actual problems in front of you. And just by talking to the people in Hometown after school, we can find all sorts of stuff that bothers people. Toriel and Asgore’s estrangement, Noelle’s father and her worries about him, Alphys being lonely, and so on. In a Dark World where people’s thoughts and ideas take on physical forms, these everyday worries become living nightmares. It is THAT scenario that the Fun Gang will have to prevent or reverse from Chapter Two onward.

2. In Which World Do Choices Not Matter?

No matter which way you play Delta Rune, you leave the Dark World at the end. In that sense, none of the choices you made matter. Only if you did a pacifist run, you have the chance to go back and say goodbye to a number of characters you encountered before. Sort of an Undertale Epilogue Lite. If you went to town on everybody, you get chased back to the Light World instead. So in a way, your choices DID matter.

On the other hand, no matter what you do in the Light World, you’re still Kris, the token human in a monster town, with estranged parents and an older brother that probably outshines the heck out of you if all those trophies and award certificates mean anything. You can’t help smooth things over between Toriel and Asgore, you can’t even hint at Undyne and Alphys getting together, and no matter what you tell Noelle, she’s still got a one track mind regarding Susie and is concerned that you are pranking her again. About all you can do is choose to be mean or nice to Onionsan; everyone else still thinks you’re some weird creepy human kid with a history of pranking, whose main redeeming feature as a person is apparently some skill at the piano. Nothing you do can change that, even if being more talkative than normal is out of character enough for folks to notice.

But then again, in the Light World, nobody can choose who they are. Choices don’t matter because so much of Kris’s life is defined by everyone else. And even those lives are more defined by primal fears like Toriel’s loneliness and deep seated resentment, Asgore’s pushover-ness, Mr. Holiday’s health, Alphys’ anxiety, and so on and so forth.

As the Dark World starts to influence the rest of town, and imagination and thought starts to overwrite physical reality, the Fun Gang’s choices will suddenly carry more weight. Maybe not enough to change everything once the Fountains are sealed, but enough to make a difference. Such as the difference between Noelle being totally inconsolable over the loss of her father, and Noelle having the opportunity for closure. Or Toriel at least agreeing to be civil towards Asgore, even if they still never get back together. Or Burgie being able to find a much better job. :P

Or Kris being seen not as “the human” or “Asriel’s brother” but as Kris, a person in town with more depth than just a history of pranks and a creepy disposition.

3. Oh Gaster, Where Art Thou?

The announcement for the Demo, the “character / vessel creation” process at the beginning, the music playing during the vessel creation sequence, the Man who gives Kris an Egg if he is found, the Entry 17 Sound FX from the cell phone in the Dark World, and the slowed down version of the same sound playing around that Mysterious Bunker south of town all point towards Gaster’s involvement in the events of Delta Rune, one way or another. Given the limited information available so far, it’s not entirely clear if he’s working towards increasing the amount of Darkness, towards stabilizing the imbalance, if he’s simply observing events with no regard for the outcome, or if for some reason he requires US as observers for the events of Delta Rune, whatever they are.

But using what little we know, we can make a few educated guesses.

First, the Egg Kris can get from the Man behind the tree, who cannot be seen and will vanish if the Egg is not accepted, is the ONLY item from the Dark World that stays the same back in the Light World. The swords become pencils, and all the other stuff accumulated in the Dark World becomes the Ball of Junk that Kris does not want to throw away, but the Egg is still an Egg. Sort of. It can be put into Asgore’s Fridge, but if this is done, somehow it turns the pickle jar into another Egg. Which raises a number of questions. Unless you hold onto it for later in the full game, or throw it away, this is the only thing you can do with the Egg as far as I know. Almost as if the only reason it exists in the world is so that Asgore can have something to eat besides pickles.

Second, Jevil’s misanthropy follows his interaction with a visitor to the kingdom, and I do not remember if this visitor was specifically stated to be the Knight mentioned by Jevil or the Spade King. The way he treats the entire world like a game fits the same meta as Flowey’s attitude after being stuck in a Determination fueled time loop for ages in Undertale, but it also aligns with the Darkner world’s toy theme. And of course Seam drops the “darker yet darker” line on us regarding his view of the world after dealing with Jevil... but at the same time, this is a literal Dark World. Kris and Susie noticed that the light was getting low in the school hallway before they even stepped inside the supply closet, so it’s not out of the question that Gaster’s experiment, whatever it was, involved discovering the Dark World.

And, while this is purely me stacking conjecture on top of conjecture here, keep in mind what I said earlier about the Dark World being a world where the power of Imagination can literally create a world. Then consider one of the lines of the Gaster Followers from Undertale: Gaster fell into his own creation. As Gaster was the Royal Scientist, it seemed logical to infer that his creation was some sort of machine or technology, such as the CORE or whatever is under the sheet in Sans’ workshop in Snowdin Town. But maybe what he fell into was a completely different reality... possibly one of his own design.

(Note to self: Undertale / Secret Of Evermore Crossover Fic. Add it to the list.)

Third, the vessel we are asked to create at the start of Delta Rune has the word Goner as part of the filenames of the assets. Its appearance also matches that of the other Gaster Followers in Undertale; greyscale, uncanny valley, and just different enough from the character we end up seeing in the game (Kris) to make the similarities stand out. Keeping in mind we still don’t know what the significance is of the Gaster Followers or Goners is in Undertale, or how exactly they relate to Gaster himself. In the completed game, though, we may have the opportunity to find out... behind the bunker doors south of town, where the slowed down Entry 17 sound is playing. (It’s also location 17, so there’s a definite number element going on here.) The thing about bunkers if that they are almost always made to protect something inside them. So unless this is a fallout or storm shelter for the folks in town (and we can’t read Gerson’s book in game so we have no idea what the political climate is between humans and monsters is in this world, though if they were really bad then somebody would probably mention it in dialog) then it’s probably intended to keep the people of the town from finding something. Like an experiment that went wrong. Or went right, for that matter.

Or, maybe the bunker is one of those less common cases where it protects everything outside it by locking something inside, for any of the reasons already stated. Either way, there might be a real True Lab situation down there.

Finally... has anyone else besides me noticed that the graphics in the background during the Vessel Creation Sequence look almost exactly the same as the background of the Fountain of Darkness that Kris and Susie use to go home, just without the playing card suites? Where exactly is that taking place?

One last thing that brings my whole post full circle; regarding the ending cutscene before the credits and Don’t Forget song, I wonder if the entire thing isn’t just Kris’s nightmare; the body rips out the Soul that used to be inside and locks it up, and is free to do who knows what after that. If Kris is aware that the player is influencing them in any way, that whole sequence could be brought on by their fears about losing autonomy, either partially or entirely.

Which brings us back to the whole “your choices don’t matter” thing.

[sometimesrosy]

The person that send the ask about JRoth refering to Echo and Madi in the past had/got made me take a sec and think because i understand refering to E in the past because i think that BE are going to break-up but why would he refer to Madi in past tense? and then i remembered aa spec that you sai regarding Madi staying in the planet and Clarke leaving with the others, i think? do you really think that would happen and can you talk more about it? 1/2

2/2 i mean i just don’t see Clarke leaving her daughter alone in another planet, altough there is always the whole flame thing, idk how that is gonna affect their relationship but i mean, would Jason really take away her daughter? that’s a new low, even for him lol

He might just have spoken about them in the past because he was speaking about what happened to Clarke and Bellamy over the time jump. That was all in the past. What happened OFF screen affected who Clarke and Bellamy were in the current timeline. 

As he’s writing, or storyboarding, that means that he’s developing THEIR story based on the past. It might have been a mistake just based on his focus as he writes. None of what they say in cons is edited, you know? You can’t expect them to be perfect or precise.

My speculation about them leaving Two Suns Planet is PURE speculation and just something they COULD do based on certain themes and foreshadowing and tropes and archetypes. It doesn’t at all have to be story they go for. Just ONE story path. 

But you say that taking a characters daughter away and leaving her on a planet alone with others is a new low for JR?

I think that is the EXACT SET UP OF THE 100. Abby Griffin lost her daughter, who was sent down alone onto a poisonous planet with 100 delinquents. 

New low? Or, hey, what this show is about?

Oh. Is it different because Madi is so young? 

Charlotte. Tris. Baby Lovejoy. Aden. Ethan. 

Kids don’t escape violence, loss or death on this show. This is BUILT IN to the narrative. 

Don’t confuse a plot line that you don’t like with something that doesn’t fit. Because it DOES fit. It’s pretty standard that kids on this show grow up a LOT faster than kids irl. And Madi HERSELF was left alone at the age of FIVE. So the concept that JR wouldn’t POSSIBLY leave a child alone is ABSOLUTELY FALSE. BTDT. Pay attention.

In many ways, this show is about the new generation, THE KIDS, learning to find their own power and stand up and change the world for the better. All our delinquents except for Bellamy were kids when they landed on earth. That is the NATURE of this show.

You identified with the kids, so you didn’t notice, except for occasionally, that our kids were actual kids, because you were inside their heads and instead you saw the freedom and the power and the challenges and the heroism. When we looked at the PARENTS, we saw them as characters who did stuff TO the kids, who abandoned them or abused them or sent them to earth or betrayed them or whatever it is. Maybe you didn’t notice because all the actors were playing younger than their real age, because the show WANTED you to think of them as active adult principals. But Jasper and Monty? What were they? 15? That’s only a few years older than Madi. And they had NEVER been left alone to survive by themselves. They weren’t as capable. Maybe the subtle shift of adults playing kids to kids playing kids means that the writers want you to think about what it means to grow up, to be responsible, to be an adult or a parent. Remember, their initial thought was to make the commander a child. They’ve actually gone BACK to their original concept. 

NOW you’ve got YOUR kid as the parent, as the person who is the hero with the motivation and desires and goals. So you see Clarke as the active principle and Madi as the passive one. But it’s the SAME story. 

Clarke raised Madi to be independent, she was driving and going off alone at 11. Hunting and gathering and facing a post apocalyptic earth alone. That’s how she raised her. Now that people are back, Clarke is clinging to Madi and trying to keep her safe when before she’d raised her to keep HERSELF safe. 

We’ve already seen Clarke struggle with the same thing Abby struggled with. Learning to LET HER DAUGHTER GO TO MAKE HER OWN DECISIONS. The audience is sometimes outraged that anyone would allow Madi to make these life or death decisions intended to save Clarke, but Clarke was making life or death decisions from ep 1, and we were outraged that Abby would try to stop her and keep her a child.

So what I’m saying here? This is a THEME we’ve seen in The 100. Madi is a bit younger, but she is also just as capable as Clarke. We have SEEN her be capable. 

Would JR have Clarke lose Madi? 

He had Abby lose Clarke, didn’t he? So yeah. He would. It isn’t some worse horror inflicted upon her. It is a cyclical story. The parent must release her child to her own future as her parent released her. The youth shall inherit the earth.

Actual literal line of dialogue. They PASSED THE BATON. 

So, we need to pay attention to these things if we want to understand something more about the story. 

so my theory about return to earth? ok

so the idea is that they will have to leave planet two suns, that they will have to DESTROY the comfortable, peaceful human society on the planet because it is, like MW, evil. I think we’ll have a parallel to MW. We already know that the eligius 4 mission was a colonization mission, intent on USING the planet for resources because the earth was used up. This is the bad kind of colony. 

We’re also contrasting “doing what is good for you people” with “doing what is right,” and I’m afraid that joining Russell in a peaceful world where their people can finally live life, which would be GOOD for their people, will actually be harming the planet and either another segment of humans OR the native aliens on the planet. 

So in order to do the right thing and be the good guys, they’ll have to destroy this “peace” and sacrifice and easy life for their people.

This would help Clarke and Bellamy resolve their trauma in MW, where they had to DESTROY an entire people, and never made peace with the fact that they HAD to because those people were not JUST another society, but a TOXIC one who was using other human beings as cattle and torturing them, and intending to take over the surface. 

So while this made her think maybe there were no good guys, the truth is, that even though they committed genocide, it was because that society was EVIL. They WERE the good guys. Sometimes you HAVE to do harm. 

So I think we’ll see this again and this time they will recognize that the choice is to let evil flourish through passive inaction and possibly benefit, or GIVE up the soft life and save a planet and a people from subjugation and STOP the cycle of violence that humanity spreads.

See, we’re working on making sure that Humanity DESERVES to survive. So being faced with a pretty, peaceful society that does not DESERVE to survive, means they have to make active choices against it.

The thought here is that they are subjugating or enslaving the aliens or alien/human hybrids or lower class humans of this planet. ECHO, being a child soldier and slave for the throne, while not feeling like she belongs to spacekru, will feel a kinship with the slaves on the planet and she will stay with them.

The other possibility is that Becca has given an ALIE AI to the new planet, so the flame is not irrelevant. Because the flame was created to STOP ALIE. So if there’s another ALIE helping to subjugate these new people, then the FLAME, aka Madi, is there to stop that. COULD someone else take the flame? Yes, because they’re all going to have to be nightbloods. But it’s possible that Madi herself feels too much responsibility and wants to stay to help the new people. but the story here would mean that Madi wouldn’t be alone, but Echo would be staying with her, as her protector. IDK. 

I don’t know it’s an idea. I got it when I realized that Raven said, “Just once I wish I could take off of a planet without it being on fire,” and she did that TWICE, which means the magic number three might have that coming true. So then I imagined raven taking off of this new planet, NOT on fire, but still needing to leave because they destroyed the “peaceful” society. Like breaking the cycle means they leave it a better place, rather than the earth, which humanity has killed. 

Also with the way the time is going, it took 75 years to fly to the new planet. If they go back to the earth, that’s 200 years total, which is the ORIGINAL speculation for how long The Ark would have to stay in space before Earth would be livable. That’s just too neat a coincidence for me. Makes me think that in, maybe s7, they might be back on the earth again. 

All just ideas. I know it’s wacky. But I’ve had a lot of wacky ideas, like using Cryo sleep to escape praimfaya. Or the exodus after they lose Eden. Heck, I told y’all after hakeldama that this show requires Clarke and Bellamy to be TOGETHER in order to work. So I have wacky ideas that I put together when I think about various narrative elements. So here. Have some more.

Also. Because we’re all responsible for our monsters when we let them out, right? Well humanity destroyed Earth. Do they really get to just ditch it and find .a new planet to ruin? I feel like they need to go home and face the mess they made of their planet. To EARN their survival, they have to fix what they did. They have to make amends. Stopping it from happening on another planet might do that, but also, taking care of the planet they hurt. 

[july-19th-club]

actually i’m not done talking abt true detective s1 i actually have a lot of thoughts about those last several minutes and how important it was that it ends on a relatively hopeful note. do we know where rust’s going? what the heck this man intends to do now that he’s confronted both his most unfinished work and his greatest source of grief? we don’t, but i think we can safely say that he’s not leaving just to go somewhere and die. in his own sour and half-resigned way, it seems like he’s intending to go get some stuff done in his life, to maybe for once make plans that don’t have anything to do with death and i’m going to put my thoughts on that under a cut bc i started writing and it just kind of got away from me and it’s more or less a whole piece of fiction now

he said something about being a painter if his life had gone differently, and i think maybe that’s what he pursues next. he’s in his fifties now, has spent more of his life as an addict than not, and i imagine that the road toward finding some kind of equilibrium is not simple. if he manages to quit drinking, i don’t think he ever manages to quit smoking. it’s a comfort thing for him, as much as he knows that it’ll be that or some other chemical damage that will get him in the end. he has a silent bet on with himself as to which one it will be, when it finally happens, but it hasn’t yet and so he gets what money he’s saved and goes on a road trip. 

it’s experiences he’s after now: he goes to appalachia, he goes to new york city, briefly, doesn’t really enjoy it, goes on toward the great lakes, goes further. he sees wyoming and the dakotas, the redwood forest region, the coast of maine. canada. it occurs to him that he’s spent his whole life on one side or the other of the contiguous states, never paid much attention to what’s in the middle. he explores. he accumulates memories, knowledge, tries to enjoy it and tries to move from one sight to the next quickly enough that the doubt and disinterest can’t creep back in. tries to appreciate things: the rain. the heat coming up from the asphalt when he stops for some lunch. the stretches where he doesn’t talk to another person for days on end. even tries to appreciate the feeling of being anonymous in a crowd, walking among many other people who are focused on anything but him, tries to see it as a natural part of the things that exist to make up the world and not a poorly-designed set for a badly-written story. and around him it continues to happen. the radio continues to play. the road continues to be long. the sky continues to be huge and filled with stars, and when whatever this is has finished Something may continue, and in it he may have the chance to love and be loved. 

maybe he calls his ex-wife, and maybe she immediately assumes that it’s a goodbye call, because it’s been close to twenty years since they last spoke and she has no illusions about the state of mind he was in at the time. she may be surprised he’s lasted this long, but she agrees to meet him. he shows up sunburnt and long-haired and craggy-looking, but with the same wry face she remembers. he shows her his driver’s license photo, in which he is still sporting a weird-old-man mustache, and she makes fun of it. he tells her everything. turns out, her life has gone in an entirely different direction. where he spiraled, she thrived. eventually she decided to become a foster parent, and perhaps she wound up adopting a girl who comes to live with her as a teenager. the girl is a woman now, and has found a nice girl of her own, and the two of them are considering children, when they’ve got the finances for it. the cycle continues. he is terrified of the concept as he would be of being dropped into a parallel world where none of the loss ever happened. there is no rhyme or reason, and he is still learning how to be optimistic about the certain knowledge that even if there is another world, there’s absolutely no plan. he’s afraid. but he is more afraid of being without family, and this knowledge is sudden but he is sure of it. he meets the adopted daughter and the daughter-in-law. the daughter’s a biochemist, daughter-in-law’s a philosophy major, and they all get on like a house on fire. he can talk with the girls for far longer than claire can about the sort of heady, probably pretentious topics they’re interested in. he moves on after a few visits, but he keeps all of their numbers close. 

he travels. he paints fallingwater. he paints the wallowa valley. watercolors - he likes them better than oils or acrylics, likes the way they soften whatever he uses them to illustrate. he paints whatever he gets interested in, sometimes stopping the truck on the verge of the highway to take out his colors and paint the chicory by the side of the road. he visits a museum to study other artists’ work, gets interested in frederic remington or somebody, goes to rodeos and paints the riders and the swirls of dust. he paints mt. mckinley from memory. he paints his own flashbacks, trying to show how the colors bleed into one another, how the images repeat and revolve. he goes back through texas and louisiana, stops in bars and orders iced tea and paints the bikers. he calls his family more frequently. he calls his one friend, asks to stay updated on people’s lives, acts interested in their affairs even when they call him on a bad day and he has to feign it. one day his families meet each other. he arranges it. they have dinner together and he gives everybody paintings and when marty asks if he’d be interested in consulting on a case or two, just when he’s able to, when he’s not busy or he’s bored, he says yes, he might consider it. he is planning to move closer to his own people, but if he does, he may need the money. he thinks of things in terms of time, now. how much of it may remain, if he is smart with it. how much of it he has already used up. there is a dark, miserable center to the thought that he is careful not to get to close to, because it will swallow up everything a man can build if he’s not paying attention.

when the daughter-in-law is pregnant, the girls ask around for name suggestions. they deliberate for nine months and then some, even after the baby is born and he, more afraid than ever, meets it and lets its small hand clutch his finger like it is the only life preserver in a swallowing sea. what can this tiny creature, just-created, with eyes that look around vaguely but don’t stop, know of doubt or fear or the lifelong drowning conviction that nothing exists for a good reason? all the baby knows is what it experiences, and so he holds it as kindly as he can. with luck, it will grow. it will be one, then two years old, it will learn words, it will begin to move around far faster than its parents can keep up, with luck or perhaps un-luck it will become five and then ten years old and develop convictions and interests and then maybe it will someday be as old as he is and it will still enjoy the world. he holds it with as much hope as he can. 

after a while, they do choose a name, one of his suggestions. miles. as in “to go, before i sleep”.  

[arsonicversed]

@misanthropiq -  At the beginning of the anime I genuinely thought Naruto was going to be one of those kids that makes it through sheer will and dedication. But then they made him a hokage's son. And also an Uzumaki. And the reincarnation of Asura. It just kept piling on and I was disappointed about it, honestly.

Exactly. I didn’t even mind he was from the Uzumaki clan, that as I’ve stated before could make an interesting parallel of two families that had been killed off leaving no one left. Sasuke being one who experienced the loss, and Naruto being born into it. What is the life of someone who has loved and loss to someone who has never been loved from the start? (obviously Naruto’s parents did love him, but Naruto grew up knowing no love from those around him while Sasuke had known love and lost it)

It’s an interesting kind of dynamic where they kind of switch. Sasuke goes from having love in his life, to none and continues to push people who want to love him away for power. While as Naruto goes from the village hating him and no one loving him to being the most loved person in his village, continuously doing more and gaining admiration from other people from his kindness.

But I’m getting off track. I don’t mind he’s born into the Uzumaki clan which has all these kinds of abilities mostly because: He doesn’t even inherit all the Uzumaki traits. He isn’t a full blooded Uzumaki and as such he only gets part of their abilities, heck Naruto can’t use adamantine chains like Karin can, the only thing he does seem to inherit in large chakra pool and being difficult to kill. He doesn’t get the other abilities Karin, who to my knowledge more more full-blooded Uzumaki than Naruto, has like the near instant healing and regenerative abilities she has making her even *more* difficult to kill. Hell Naruto basically died. Yet Karin ends up in a *worse* situation than him and shakes it off like it’s nothing. So to me, him being part Uzumaki is like, eh, its interseting just for the parallel because it’s never really even brought up because I could go on a whole ot her rant about how the Uzumaki’s had been shafted in Konoha despite being “beloved” and “close” to the point their clan symbol is on their jackets yet Naruto, apart of that clan, is literally treated like dirt. Yeah, really showing how much the village cares for Uzumakis huh.

I didn’t really like that Naruto was the Hokage’s son because honestly we see so often in Naruto that it’s always some descendent or relative of the first or other Kage that gets chosen. Hell Gaara’s family in his light novel is addressed as the Kazekage clan, as if it’s expected anyone from his bloodline is going to become the next kazekage and everyone else is just RIP.

Like, the only person who breaks this in the Leaf is Minato, but even then he trained under the 3rd Hokage (yeah i know he wasnt 3rd at the time but still, there was some relation to it) So it just kinda makes his accomplishment to be hokage less .... spectacular? It’s all but confirmed at the moment you know minato is Naruto’s dad. Because its always a cycle of nepotism.

Dont get me started on this whole reincarnation thing. I- really don’t like these things because the reincarnation thing-- I’m fine with there being a “cycle of hate” where the descendants of these two are always going to be at odds because of their differing views. Generational thinking passed down between them; yeah it’d make sense the clans would continue hating each other and continue the cycle of hate because that’s just how it is and how it happens a lot. There is always some excuse they have to be fighting. Not cuz “reincarnations always hate one another” or something cuz that’s.

The manga is just proving PT1 Neji right, in that all outcomes are pre-determined. All these clans are pre-determined to hate one another, the cycle of hate continues on. Sure it ends with Naruto because plot, but for literally generations Neji’s whole thing on destiny being in control of your life *was actually right*. Despite the fact we’re supposed to take that you can change your destiny or whatever, this ‘reincarnation’ idea proves that no, they didn’t have a choice because NAruto and Sasuke aren’t........even themselves? They’re the same old souls t hat can’t get over it and it makes their accomplishments and stuff seem less significant at least to me and takes away from their individuality. I know Reincarnation does tend to change things, and yes sasuke and naruto are different but the idea that their souls or whatever are just, different versions of the same thing that has been continuing for centuries is just, it’s not really fun?

it just feels like a copout for giving them these powers, despite the fact they probably didn’t have to because Naruto and Sasuke could like, idk have unlocked this power maybe on their own because of them tapping into their yin-yang release which brings them to the sage who then explains it, instead of them being reincarnations he bestows the whatever powers they get on them and the thing continues on as normal

Cuz them being reincarnations *isn’t ever brought up again* and just feels kinda pointless

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

COSMIC - S1:E5; Chapter Five, The Flea and The Acrobat - [Pt. 2]

A Will Byers x Gender Neutral!Reader Series

𝘏𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘣 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘴 𝘔𝘳. 𝘊𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯.

||𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕||

"Fear not, for I am with you. Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you."

'I can't believe I'm at Will's funeral.'

"Yes, I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." The pastor continued.

I spared a glance at the people around me.

I looked to Jonathan, his head bowed, and poor Joyce who was sitting nearby.

I can't imagine what they must be going through.

Joyce was like a second mother to me, and she has always treated as if I was one of her own. I'll always be grateful for that. I lay a hand on her shoulder.

She looks up to me confused like I had pulled her deep out of her thought, upon seeing it was me she smiles thankfully. She put her hand over mine and gave it a few gentle pats and then a small stroke with her thumb to say thank you.

I smiled solemnly at her and let go, listening to the rest of the service.

"It's times like these that our faith is challenged. How, if he is truly benevolent... could God take us from someone so young, so innocent?"

I looked down at my feet.

"It would be easy to turn away from God... but we must remember that nothing, not even tragedy, can separate us from His love."

I felt a nudge on my shoulder and turned to look at Dustin. He wore a sly smirk as he looked to his right, past me and Mike.

Frowning in confusion, I turned my head to see what he was smirking about.

"Just wait till we tell Will that Jennifer Hayes was crying at his funeral." Dustin said cheekily.

I scoffed under my breath, rolling my eyes.

"Since when has she cared about Will? She couldn't even get his name right, remember that week she called him Bill?" I huffed, crossing my arms in distaste.

The boys smirked at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Somebody jealous?" Lucas smirked.

"No-! Not ev- Shut up!" I scowl.

The boys giggle earning more than a few concerned and offended glances making me smile to myself. Mrs. Wheeler leaned down and shushed the boys making me smirk more.

'Serves them right.'

Soon enough, the casket had been lowered into the grown and roses had been thrown on top. I made my way to the very side of the grave, looking down.

"I know you're not dead. But I swear to God, if you don't come back I'm gonna kill you." I muttered to the casket in the ground.

As people began to filter out, we watched as Mike's mom said her condolences to Will's parents.

"I'm so, so sorry."

"Oh, thank you so much for coming." Will's dad said.

I never liked him.

Joyce was just standing by herself quietly, her arms crossed looking down at the grave.

"Yeah, if there's anything we can do..." Mr. Wheeler offered, shaking the man's hand.

"I appreciate it. Thank you so much."

I said goodbye to Lucas who had to follow his parents out, even though we would be seeing him later at the wake. I did the same with Mike, and soon enough Mom was waiting for us so we could get to the car.

"Mom, will you give me a minute?"

"Of course, Pumpkin," She smiled at me with sympathy.

I turned around and wove through the crowd that had separated me from Joyce. I tapped her on the shoulder, seeming to jostle her from her thoughts a second time.

Upon seeing it was me, she smiled.

"Hi, Ms. Byers."

"Oh, hi Y/n. Thank you, for coming, sweetheart," She smiled.

I captured her in a bear hug and she gladly reciprocated, giving my several comforting strokes.

"Of course. I'm so, so sorry for your loss." I said, letting her go.

"Oh, thank you, honey. T-Tell me, how have you been holding up?" She asked gently.

My eyes welled up.

"I'm not gonna lie, it's- it's been really hard. I just, I just miss him so much. Your son was such a good person. Always a gentleman." I knew what I was saying.

Even if he is alive for sure, everything I said was true. He always has been nothing but kind to me.

Not to mention, I owe him for so much.

She seemed extremely thankful for hearing that and I was glad I could make her genuinely smile on this sad day.

"Really? Oh sweetie, thank you. That means, just so much to me."

I look back to my mom and brother waiting for me by the car, and I return my gaze back to Ms. Byers.

"Um, I better go. My mom is waiting for me. I guess I'll be seeing you at the wake. Goodbye, Ms. Byers."

"Thank you again, Y/n. I'll see you later, okay?" Her face slightly fell and she smiled at me.

I nod and begin walking backward sending a small wave her way before turning around a breaking out into a small jog to catch up to my mom.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

Being at the funeral of your best friend is daunting and quite surreal.

Being at the funeral of your best friend who is quite possibly alive in another dimension and you and only four other people know this is a completely different ballpark.

We had all met up at the wake and regrouped.

The plan was to ask Mr. Clarke if there was anything he could tell us about the theories regarding alternate dimensions. I'm just praying that we don't arouse suspicion given the setting.

"Mr. Clarke?" The tall man turned his attention away from the buffet to look at us.

Mr. Clarke smiled sympathetically. "Oh, hey, there."

The somber look came easily to my face as I looked to Mr. Clarke, Mike, and Lucas on either side of me while Dustin was digging into the buffet.

"How are you kids holding up?"

Lucas speaks up for us, slightly distracted by Dustin's blatant chewing. "We're... in... mourning."

"Man, these aren't real Nilla Wafers," Dustin sighed, shaking his head.

My eyes widen softly, and I look to Mr. Clarke trying to cover for him.

"You'll have to excuse my brother, Mr. Clarke, he's-" I stop midsentence to see him happily munching on more snacks, and look back to Mr. Clarke. "well, he mourns in his own... special way."

"We were wondering if you had time to talk?" Mike asked, wanting to move things along as quickly as possible.

"We have some questions," Lucas added.

I shook my head in agreement. "A lot of questions, actually,"

Mr. Clarke complied and the four of us found ourselves at the nearest table, asking our teacher about other dimensions at our "dead" friends' wake. Not something I ever could have imagined doing.

"So, you know how in Cosmos, Carl Segan talks about other dimensions? Like, beyond our world?"

"Yeah, sure. Theoretically." Mr. Clarke replies, noticeably confused at the subject of our questions.

"Right, theoretically,"

"So, theoretically, how do we travel there?" Lucas asked.

"You guys have been thinking about Hugh Everett's Many-World's Interpretation, haven't you?" A ghost of a smile on our teacher's face.

"Yeah," I chuckled, nodding my head in response.

The boys looked at me, wondering why I had said that.

I gave them a look that said, 'I don't know, just go with it.'

"Well, basically, there are parallel universes. Just like our world, but just infinite variations of it. Which means there's a world out there where none of this tragic stuff ever happened," I found myself nodding along, not for the sake of being believable, but actually lost in the idea.

"Yeah, that's not what we're talking about," Lucas sighed, leaning back.

"Oh."

"We were thinking of more of an evil dimension, like the Vale of Shadows. You know the Vale of Shadows?" Dustin asked, taking another loud bite of his off brand Nilla Wafers.

Not thinking that our science teacher would know anything about Dungeons and Dragons, I was completely taken aback by his next words.

"An echo of the Material Plane, where necrotic and shadow magic–"

"Yeah, exactly." Mike said cutting him off.

I shift uncomfortably in my seat.

"If that did exist - a place like the Vale of Shadows - how would we travel there?"

"Theoretically, of course." I add.

"Well..."

Mr. Clarke grabbed an empty paper plate and pulled out a pen from his jacket pocket. He then drew a straight line across the paper plate as he spoke, creating a visual for us.

"Picture... an acrobat..." He drew a small stick figure on top of the lines. "standing on a tightrope. Now, the tightrope is our dimension. And our dimension has rules."

He began drawing arrows on either side of the acrobat.

"You can move forwards, or backwards. But, what if..." He drew a very small creature under one of the arrows. "right next to our acrobat, there is a flea? Now, the flea can also travel back and forth, just like the acrobat. Right?"

"Right." We all agreed.

"Here's where things get really interesting. The flea can also travel this way... along the side of the rope." He drew arrows indicating the flea's direction around and under the rope, causing me to furrow my brows. "He can even go underneath the rope."

The boys and I all shared the same look before returning our gaze to Mr. Clarke. "Upside Down."

"Exactly."

Mike spoke up. "But we're not the flea, we're the acrobat."

"In this metaphor, yes, we're the acrobat."

"So we can't go upside down?" Lucas asked warily.

"No."

"Well, is there any way for the acrobat to get to the Upside Down?"

"Well," Our teacher furrowed his brows, a thoughtful look coming upon his face. "you'd have to create a massive amount of energy. More than humans are currently capable of creating, mind you, to open up some kind of tear in time and space, and then..."

He folded the paper plate in half, creasing it shut before shoving his pen directly through both sides of the paper plate. "you create a doorway."

"Like a gate?" My brother asked eagerly.

"Sure. Like a gate. But again, this is all–"

"Theoretical." I smile, nodding my head.

"But... but what if this gate already existed?" Mike asked, timidly.

"Well, if it did, I... I think we'd know. It would disrupt gravity, the magnetic field, our environment. Heck, it might even swallow us up whole."

Mike seems to gauge our reactions, and I'm the only one who met his eye with an equally uncertain gaze.

"Science is neat." Mr. Clarke continued. "But I'm afraid it's not very forgiving."

We all lean back, digesting the information.

[elizabethrobertajones]

Hey Liz, question: why do you think this fandom got so protective of terrible women? Both Mary and Rowena are awful, selfish people with exactly 0 character development, and yet they somehow became precious protect at all cost? Are we so starved of representation? I don't get it. For me it's Jody and Donna all the way.

Heya. Well first of all “the fandom” seems to haaate Mary so you must be thinking of the weird narrow circle of people who actually enjoy her character like me and all the peeps I filtered out in season 12 who weren’t being awful about her to follow and support. >.> Aka “the fandom” if I had to generalise my impression of raw numbers, IS the reason why the people who like Mary are protective of her. Because there’s stuff like spnconfessions posting someone saying “I want Mary and Kelly to be stabbed hundreds of times at the end of the season” which… yiiiikes.

Rowena is more popular in my impression but then she has a charismatic actress who embedded herself in fandom immediately (she liked some of my Rowena meta and spec back in season 10!), and was always presented as a “villain” (although she has NEVER been a big bad of a season, always just along for the ride and almost ALWAYS in chains or captured) so at least it was not like she was living down anyone’s expectations except Crowley. 

ALSO it’s not a competition or an either or. I love Jody, and Donna, and Linda Tran, and Mary, and Rowena and Kelly Kline, and all the other characters who’ve passed over our screen. People probably get bored of me saying this but I *like* the show and its characters and its storylines until they give me strong reasons not to like them, and I don’t approach fictional characters with hostility or unless there’s a very strong personal aversion, a reaction as if I knew them in real life or they represent things FROM my real life. 

Even when they are written to be dark or messed up or bad people, if they’re fleshed out and there’s a good reason or a point to it all in the story, then I like it. I don’t need characters to be good and pure all the time for them to be worth my love, or why the heck would I like the Winchesters, right? 

I’m just trying to say, I think I have a different attitude to these characters than you do, because I see that the show has done some great things with them, including developing them a LOT, and they’re really interesting characters to me. 

I now have 3 fics on my Ao3 which have or are entirely from Mary’s POV because I find her a fascinating mess. I feel like I grew up knowing the mythology about her and only got to meet her as a real human last year, and I loved that she was human and real, as promised in the flashbacks but never given a chance for us to SEE. 

And Rowena is not a character I think anyone needs to DEFEND (except in the sense of omg stop putting her in chains or killing her off when she’s inconvenient) because she’s utterly in control of herself, her image, her goals, and yet she has a vulnerability and a pain to her dark past which makes her interesting. The more we learn about her the more we learn about how she became what she is when we first meet her, and 12x11 for me did some AMAZING stuff with Rowena that finished the process of making her softer and more friendly in that she’d forged a better alliance with the Winchesters and we saw her and Dean utterly vulnerable around each other, which makes for incredible character development. We were only just starting to get a real idea of the woman behind the appearance she makes of herself, but it’s been hinted all along how hard she had to fight to get what she wanted, and how she gravitates towards comfort and being looked after and using her power to get it because of how poorly she was treated? She’s much easier to sum up in a paragraph, while I’ve written pages and pages and pages about Mary in both meta and fic, but that doesn’t mean she’s less developed, she just has a smaller overall legacy in the show as when she comes back it will only be her 4th season to Mary’s overarching importance to *13* seasons.

And… UGH. I just rewatched 10x09 recently and it’s SO INTERESTING. I remember all that meta from the time, about Rowena paralleling John, her bad parenting to his, and she comes back now almost as a precursor to Mary, trying the waters with bringing Crowley’s mum back into his life to see how that all goes over, his disappointment, the way she DELIBERATELY manipulates him, makes him need her again, until he casts her out, their back and forth, their conviction to the end that they should have been the one to kill the other… Their revenge story… Crowley just wanting to know WHY she was such a bad parent, Rowena loving another boy but not him as a son, so it’s the utter opposite of “family don’t end in blood” - that their only tie IS their blood and they mutually loathe each other because of it. Because they can’t be rid of each other because of it… I mean it’s the dark mirror to Mary coming back in the sense that Rowena is absolutely unapologetically a bad parent when she returns. That Crowley, softened up by the last couple of seasons, seriously struggles with her return… The Crowley and Rowena stuff in season 10 is actually really interesting, even if some of it is pretty ridiculous in execution, the point of having it there is fascinating, especially when you marathon through and then join it up to season 11. 

None of that is meant to say Rowena is good, or stanning for her is, like, advocating her awful parenting as a pinnacle of goodness. It’s just saying, she’s a terrible person but a fascinating character, and why wouldn’t we enjoy her being fun and evil and unapologetic for that on our screens, just as much as we might like Jody being patient and kind and the sort of gentle, understanding motherly pinnacle of “good” mothers on the show. 

And Mary is WONDERFULLY in the middle of that. I don’t know if people are having issues with her just because they have issues with their own mothers or because of expectations that the show was deliberately subverting that people just didn’t gel with and so came at her all from the wrong angles expecting her to be domestic and to bring peace rather than conflict, but Mary is a *startlingly* good female character on the show, and she exists in the space between Jody, the pinnacle of being a “good” mother, and Rowena, the blatant “bad” mother, but as soon as Mary strays from being the pure saintly victim image that we had for 11 years, even the flashbacks never changing her position as a victim of the narrative despite trying to give her some more personality and just making her spunky on top of being pure, rather than deepening her… 

I mean one of my BFFs who hasn’t been watching the show so much lately really hated the idea of Mary coming back because she sees the boys as too old to be treated as “the boys” and Mary’s purpose to only be to heal and to protect them, and why would the show bring her back to deal with their mommy issues, it’s just too late, too little, how can you ever patch her back into their lives and fix everything? They’re too OLD to deal with their mommy issues.

And that’s literally the antithesis of what season 11 was doing: what it ACKNOWLEDGED was the issue with bringing Mary back, that she can’t be a nurturer, can’t do a fresh start on their issues. Can’t just make it all better by being there and putting band aids on their knees and tucking them into bed. They weren’t raised with that. They can’t RETROACTIVELY get it from her because it’s not age appropriate and they have developed as people.

And for the first time, Mary is allowed to just exist and wander around the Bunker and cut her hair and wear hunter-y clothes instead of that freakin’ nightgown, and UPSET them by not fitting in because there’s the way it feels like she SHOULD have been aka kissing boo boos, and the way they know she CAN’T be that because it’s weird but they still missed out on it, and the way she is how she is for real after only ever having images and dreams and conjured djinn versions or fake Heaven versions or people wearing her face, and so on and so on. Just a real flesh and blood woman who was manipulated literally to heaven and back by outside forces, trying to deal with losing *everything* over and over, and being presented with her weird family of adult sons and attached angel, clearly nursing depression and a total lack of direction and connection… 

I mean people connect with Mary for some pretty obvious reasons about motherhood and loss and depression all of which are represented in her weird situation with metaphorical links to real life feelings. Imagine she had post natal depression about Sam and look at season 12 again and *bam* she’s 100 miles deep and it huuuurts. I haven’t even had a baby let alone this entire analogy but I can see it right there in her story. I don’t need to RELATE directly to find it interesting? And there’s so much more about her beyond this one random thing I just picked up as an example. Imagining being in her shoes and then imagining how Sam and Dean have talked about her and seen her as the casual viewing audience is a STARK way to put her story in contrast to make sense.

Like, if you just allow Mary to be her own person with her own story and motives, there’s so much in there, that you don’t get if you just look at her like she could have been something to Sam and Dean that she wasn’t and immediately write her off as just as bad as Rowena - who is also far more complex than just a bad mother. If it’s these characters not living up to idea motherhood that makes you hate them that’s something you have to get over to see WHY people might like them, for the same reasons people can like flawed messed up non-mother characters. 

I mean Mary in season 12 functionally has a similar arc/intro to the story as JACK does, the same conflict about finding themselves in this world, the same drive to make it right, and Mary’s dealing with the PAST she’s fucked up, and Jack’s dealing with immediate present fuck ups and the weight of expectations of his FUTURE fuck ups that everyone wants him to do this that and the other… But Jack immediately got a ton of adoring fans and I would say fandom seems to lean pro-Jack, while it’s generally anti-Mary, despite the fact they have had very similar, parallel struggles to integrating into the world and dealing with expectations/problems.

But Jack is a cute as a button baby son for the fandom who can be easily forgiven for everything, and Mary is its flawed, messy mother. And you clearly seem to have the same knee jerk reaction that Good Mothers are characters to be rewarded and loved for their kindness and strength and flaws in acceptable amounts that do not harm their ability to parent well and be supportive and present. And Bad Mothers apparently can’t even be enjoyed as an interesting villain-but-not-bad-guy like Rowena who is out for herself unapologetically - a confidence trait that people CAN and should admire in obviously less “murder a bunch of people because they’re in the way” quantities to aspire to if they need a just a pinch of Rowena in their lives. And Mary who was a VICTIM in the narrative until 12x01, I have to repeat, and on earning her narrative freedom, aka not doomed by Heaven, and seen only through Sam and Dean’s eyes but allowed to be herself, abruptly goes in others’ eyes from sweet mother mary to being utterly ruined and the worst character. Because she couldn’t parent her ADULT sons while *grieving* her baby sons and husband, who not only is dead but she has to come to terms with what her death, her fuck up, did to him and did to her sons.

Season 12 HAS to be viewed through Mary’s POV when the episodes are about her, and she HAS to be given full compassion as a POV important character like you would do for Sam and Cas and Dean and now Jack, and Jody and/or Donna when they’re on screen, or Claire and Alex in their episodes. I mean 9x19 is from Alex and Jody’s POV. There are a couple of Winchester scenes but the emotional storytelling is ALL on Alex and Jody, to the point of them having all the opening and closing scenes, while Sam and Dean appear like outsiders to them. This same thing is used on Mary a few times - making us look at Sam and Dean from her eyes. 

12x03, also by Berens - because he’s amazing at this sort of thing - makes us look at them this way. It sets up how Sam and Dean *are* to Mary with the horrifying baby in the crib and the little ghost boy. Her lost children. And Sam and Dean blanking her out of working the case by accident because they’re so much more efficient with modern tech. Letting her solve it with old fashioned tech and application of heart. We see Mary’s entire process in this episode that leads to her leaving. It’s *beautiful*. Please go watch that episode from Mary’s POV.

(And enjoy Rowena being an unapologetic badass in the background :P) 

I am literally begging if you don’t understand and hate Mary in season 12 to try it again from her POV and be less precious about Sam and Dean and how much value she has determined only by how well she mothers them. 

I mean dammit I’m just gonna rec my own fic I wrote after 12x14 because I think it explains how I view Mary sympathetically and as a complex character without apologising for or defending her, just caring about her story and trying to understand her, more effectively than any meta I could write.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10143074

But also just rewatch 12x01, 12x03, 12x06, 12x09, 12x14, 12x21 and 12x22 from Mary’s POV, even just her important scenes. Pause the episodes after she does stuff you struggle with and ask yourself how SHE would feel based on HER history if you’re having trouble getting into it. Remember how she saw Dean and Sam in 12x03 in the metaphors of the cursed burnt out baby boy and the lil ghost child because that DIRECTLY links to 12x22′s dream sequence. You’re going to see her suicidal, lost, confused, desperate to fix the mess she made… And ultimately in 12x23 she is vindicated for her deal with the AU being based on it NOT happening, and she’s the point from which it all came. Remember 4x03 Mary at that point, how she was an innocent victim as much as anyone else, being funneled into being “John and Mary, husband and wife” JUST because Heaven wanted it. How she’d already been raised as a hunter by her strict father and wanted to be FREE. How she has been un-free, how even her idea of freedom was all a manipulation by both heaven and hell, that she was a baby factory for the both of them. That her deal was for that freedom, but as poisoned as everything else that ever happened and her death in 1x01 is the punishment for trying to be free.

Remember that bringing her back sets her free but also takes away *everything* from her, including Sam and Dean, and leaves her with only her identity as a hunter to fall back on. And then they take away that too. 

Remember that Mary is as messed up as her boys, who we LOVE for being messed up, complicated human beings, and that her goodness as a mother is just one aspect of her character, but not the defining one we’re supposed to like her for.

Remember that all the images of Mary we see between season 2-6 are manipulations and lies and extrapolations in 2x20 of how DEAN feels about what Mary is/what he WANTED her to be, and the only real Mary we saw that whole time was the one in 1x09, who was as defensive of her boys as she was in season 12, and whose only real words were to APOLOGISE to Sam for what she’s done, a character arc she can’t pick up again from her POV until SEASON 12, even if it’s been thrice resolved for Sam. That her dying thoughts were knowing she’d doomed Sam. That she only understood her deal when it was too late and she was pinned to the ceiling. 

Remember that the reason she seems to be a bad mother in the story in season 12 is because they WANTED her to be that way, because they’re FREEING her of the image of what she was for 12 long years. They’re turning her into a real character. That it’s a calculated breakdown and DEVELOPMENT of her character beyond being a 1 dimensional saintly dead mother, whose fleshed out backstory made her more and more a tragic victim of circumstance and took away all her agency, her memories, and the last time we see her in 5x13 she is parroting the “angels are watching over you” line in a way that gives you the sickest dread of dramatic irony, as in that context it is about how her sons are about to DIE for this if the angels get their way. She’s helpless. She’s the buttmonkey of the apocalypse. 

Whatever else you feel about season 12 and Dabb and all, there was a huge effort from all the writers who touched her story - ALL of them - to free her and take this weight from her, to tie her into the current arc while respecting how the past would CRUSH her. And they DID crush her. And within that crushing, when exactly was she, the most emotionally scarred and messed up Winchester on the playing field that year, supposed to be a good mother to Sam and Dean when that definition seems to include selfless sacrifice and giving more of yourself? She thought that’s what she was doing with the BMoL, and it destroyed her all over again. It literally carved her out and left her empty. More people got hurt because she tried to do something to make it right. And she lost herself in the process. It’s not a subtle metaphor. Or how it was resolved with honesty and bringing the family back together. 

… You can probably tell we got an esspresso maker for Christmas by the length of this reply. Just… Argh, no. Mary is one of the most fascinating female characters and fuck the idea she has to be a good mum to be a good character or that we can only like the most pure characters. If she had been a good mum in season 12 she would have been PAINFULLY boring and flat and under-used. What would you have DONE with her? installed her in the Bunker to do nothing more than provide comfort at the start and end of each episode, and sometimes come along on safe easy hunts? Need to be rescued in all the dramatic moments because she couldn’t fuck up and cause something herself ever? She can be rescued NOW because she fucked up enough last season it’s a different aspect of her character to be in this position. Which she kinda got herself into by PUNCHING LUCIFER IN THE FACE. 

And if you can see Mary how I see her, then suddenly all her heart and kindness is there, she’s wonderful, she’s complex, she’s just fundamentally broken and messed up and had her own issues with Sam and Dean that came from this, that were explored and addressed FROM HER POINT OF VIEW, and helped her from HER OWN PERSPECTIVE to overcome the first hurdle of being reintegrated into the story. 

Just… give her a chance to be human. Everything you say you can’t see in her is right there when you do.