#final thought is that i think all of this could have gone differently if cas had shown up a year later instead of 7 years later

[hypewinter]

Hal bent down as the little girl approached him. Even then, he still managed to tower over her with how small she was.

"Hey there little lady," he said. "Anything I can help you with this fine evening?"

The little girl looked at him anxiously, fiddling with her hands. Ok so not a nervous fan. Hal immediately switched to serious mode, scanning the crowd for anyone who could be her parents. He didn't see anyone running up to the two of them or even so much as keeping a watchful eye from a distance.

"Is something the matter?" Hal questioned, making sure to keep his voice even and calm.

The girl continued fidgeting, her big blue eyes scanning from side to side. Finally she spoke. "You wiff da space po-eece yes? Not da am-ear-ree-ca one?"

Hal smiled at the girl. "Yes, I'm with the space police." Honestly that was oversimplifying the Corps a little but he had long since gotten to citizens calling him a space cop.

The girl offered up a small nervous smile of her own. "So you won't tell da gov-ment what I tell you wight?"

Hal was on high alert now. Just what was this little girl trying to tell him? "I won't tell. I promise," he said after a second.

The girl broke into a big smile at this. "Really? Dis way den." She started tugging Hal along and he began to follow.

"Where exactly are we going?" he asked.

"You see," was all she replied.

Hal was led down a couple different alleyways and was beginning to think he was walking into a trap when they reached an abandoned building. The girl dashed in and up the old rusted stairs, with Hal following closely behind her.

If this really is a trap, I'll never hear the end of it from Batman, he thought morbidly as he cleared the last step. Instead of finding himself facing an ambush however, he saw a boy curled up on an old mattress. The girl was already by his side as Hal approached.

"Don wowee Danny, I got help. Like I said I would," he caught the little girl whispering as he knelt down next to the boy. He had to have been older than the girl. Three years older maybe? Yet he was still so small. Hal took sight of his condition. He was in pain. That much was certain by his little face scrunched up in agony and his quiet moans. He was also sweating profusely. His raven black hair sticking to his forehead. Fever maybe?

Hal continued his observations as he scanned down the boy's body until he got to his stomach. The boy was clutching it and Hal could make out blood bleeding through from underneath. Oh no.

He quickly yet carefully removed the boy's arm to get a better look at the wound. The kid let out a groan as his arm was peeled away. Hal couldn't help but thank Oa for all his training that helped prevent him from letting out a gasp.

The boy's chest was covered in blood. Dark red mixed with flecks of green soaked through his shirt and there were bandages that had been amateurishly tied around the wound.

"How did this happen?" Hal asked, turning back to the girl. He did his best to keep his tone as gentle as possible.

Her smile was gone now, and her eyes welled up with tears. "He pwotected me," she said. "Dey wanted to huwrt us. Dey shot at us. Danny pwotected me."

Anger boiled within Hal. Who would shoot at these children? They were only little kids. If what the girl had said earlier was anything to go off of, the answer had something to do with the government. He would have to take care of that later though. For now, this boy needed medical attention.

"Let's get Danny to a hospital," Hal said resolutely, as he got up.

"No!" the little girl screeched. "No has-pee-tail. Too dan-er-us!"

"But he needs-" Hal started but then he met the girl's eyes. There was abject fear in them. As if going to the hospital would be a death sentence for both children. Where else were they supposed to go though? The boy- Danny needed medical attention stat. That much was certain.

Hal paused. There was one place. He sighed. Batman was going to kill him for this.

"Okay okay. No hospital. But what about space?"

"Space?" the girl repeated.

Hal nodded.

The little girl smiled. "Danny lobes space!"

"Well then. That's perfect."

Hal constructed a new bed for the boy, carefully easing him onto it before putting a protective dome around both children. The little girl giggled as he lifted them up. He then turned to the wall where he created a giant hammer to knock it down. Then they were off. Flying higher and higher, towards the atmosphere. As the Watchtower got closer in sight, Hal couldn't help but groan. Taking civilians to the Watchtower? Oh yeah, Batman was definitely going to kill him.

[noosayog]

gravitate ft. miya atsumu

wc: 2.2k part 2 of 2

part 1

contents/warnings: fwb dynamic, a lil bit of jealousyyy <3, angst to fluff, suggestive but sfw, she/her! reader, referred to as girlfriend, wife, reader has minor social anxiety

Atsumu thinks he did the right thing. 

It’s the truth after all, that even if he got a committed partner now, he wouldn’t be able to give them the time and attention they deserve. 

It’s the responsible thing to do. 

Never mind the fact that he’s fallen absolutely head over heels for you. It’s okay, though, because you had always seemed so on board with casual. At the end of the day, he’d only be hurting himself by getting more involved with you; you were the better one at drawing boundaries and saying goodbye.

Yet, after that night, he’s never been more grateful for a lull in the season, a brief break before the games begin again. He could dedicate time to practicing and conditioning and more importantly, no games meant no afterparties for him to give himself the wrong idea.

The idea that you might also have feelings for him. 

It’s wishful thinking right? He’s reading into the fact that you asked if he could wear his jersey right? Logically, he couldn’t stop you from wearing it, so why did you ask? Some roundabout way of asking if that would give all your friends the wrong idea? Of course it would. They would never miss out on a chance to clown him. 

All to say, the break in the season gives him some time away from you.

It’s all completely ironic though because all it does is gives him nothing but more time to think about you. The longer his runs are, the more time his brain has to drift to thoughts of you. At the gym, every rest interval between sets is spent remembering your smell, taste, sounds. And rest days, rest days were the worst. 

The time passes excruciatingly slowly and quickly at the same time until the season picks up and your unsaid meeting time comes around again. 

– 

A part of him had expected that you might not show up to the after-game party after what had gone down between the two of you. 

That’s if you even see what happened as note-worthy. 

So when you show up, laughing it up and enjoying yourself like nothing happened, he’s convinced that he did indeed make the right decision. This is and always has been casual to you, like what was agreed upon. It’s like a stab in the chest, but a foolish part of him thinks that means maybe the two of you will casually be drawn together at some point tonight and he’d be able to take you home and get the small piece of you he sees as his. 

But, damn, he had missed you. He can’t help the way his eyes drift to you every 5 minutes to see when he’ll finally be able to catch you alone. 

Typically, it wouldn’t take long, since he knows you tend to run low on social battery within a couple minutes of mingling. But tonight, you’re like a different person, talking and drinking all night. Every time he looks over at you, you’re a part of some circle of friends laughing like you’ve been friends forever. 

As the night drags on, Atsumu gets antsy, glancing over every other minute. He finally catches you when you break away from your group. 

“Hey,” he says, hoping he sounds significantly less – just less – than how he actually feels. “I haven’t gotten a chance to talk to you all night, miss Popular.” 

You raise a brow at him. 

“I haven’t seen you talk to this many people ever,” he jokes. 

You give him a weak smile at that. “So you think catching me during my one and only break is gonna win you any favors?” 

He relaxes a bit at the quip. “My company should count as a break.” 

You laugh and he grins back. At long last, the sound he’d been wanting to hear all night. Not aimed at some stranger, not the forced robotic sounds he knows you offer out of politeness. He’s about to throw his arm around you and lead you to someplace quiet when you seem to catch the eye of someone you know. You wave them over and he suppresses a groan. 

How many more minutes until he can have you to himself? 

A girl he dimly recognizes from some other gatherings wanders over to the two of you and Atsumu’s eyes narrow a fraction when you take half a step back to let her get closer to him. 

“Atsumu, this is Yukie. Yuki, this is Atsumu.” 

“Hi! Nice to meet you!” She comes in for a hug and almost instinctively, Atsumu shifts his body to turn it into a side hug. He pats once at her shoulder before pulling away but she keeps her hold around his side for one second too long to be friendly. 

“Well then,” he hears you say. His gaze whips to you, like knows what you’re about to do and can’t believe you’re doing it. “I’ll leave you kids to talk alone. I need to take a bathroom break. Don’t have too much fun!” 

Don’t have too much fun? He mocks you in his mind. Could you make it any more obvious? 

Atsumu pries the hand from his side off, intent on chasing you but Yukie steps in his path, starting to chat up a storm, leaving Atsumu frustrated but trying not to be rude. Something akin to rage starts to fill up in his gut, clouding his brain with impatience to end this conversation already and find you to figure out the what fuck your intentions are here.

He finally got one moment, just one moment alone with you after weeks of nothing and you just pass it off to someone else like you don’t give a damn. 

It takes several reassurances that he’d be seeing her again at other mutual friends’ gatherings to break away, and he immediately weaves through the crowd to find you. Fuck subtlety and whatever cat-and-mouse bullshit the two of you used to play.

He half expects you to have gone home; he could feel the social exhaustion oozing out of you in waves even in the couple of minutes he did manage to get with you. So imagine Atsumu’s surprise when he does indeed find you still present, chatting up Tobio-kun of all people. Sure, being high school friends with Shoyo-kun means you had the same relationship with Tobio, but why the fuck do you have a hand on his shoulder, doubling over with laughter as if listening to Tobio’s jokes made your whole night of small talk worth it. 

The red hot feeling bubbles over, and before he knows what he’s doing, he stomps over to rip your arm off Tobio’s shoulder. 

“What? You just pawn me off to some other girl so you can go off and find someone else for tonight?” 

Tobio, bless his heart, with all his social ineptitude picks up the cues and makes himself scarce. 

You shake Atsumu’s searing grip from your wrist and put some space between you two, but he’s not having it. He steps even closer, backing you up until you hit the wall. Suddenly, the hallway seems too empty, too quiet. Atsumu doesn’t hear anything over the roaring in his ears anyway. 

You only look at him for a moment before closing your eyes and turning away. “What are you talking about, Atsumu? It's not that seri-” 

“It is and you fuckin’ know it.” 

“Atsumu, I don’t think this is the place to talk about this– ” 

“So come over to mine. Let’s talk.” 

“Atsumu…” 

“Please,” he’s damn near begging, one degree from being on his knees.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

He grabs your chin and forces you to look right into his eyes. “And why not? I think we both know something happened tonight that we need to talk about.” 

“Tonight?” you echo. You slap his hands away and shove at his chest, forcing him half a step back. “Something happened last time too and you didn’t seem to wanna talk about it then. Well, now it’s my turn to tell you. Nothing happened tonight, so there’s nothing to talk about.” 

His chest aches, so much so that he can’t get any words out as he processes what you’ve just said. So he didn’t do the right thing after all. 

The aching intensifies hearing you refer to whatever went down tonight between you two as “nothing.” 

He takes a deep, heavy inhale before eking out, “don’t say that, baby. I’m sorry. Can we please talk about this?” 

“I don’t want to. In fact, Atsumu, I don’t think we should-” see each other anymore. 

“No,” he cuts you off. “Whatever it is you’re about to say, my answer is no and that’s final.” 

“And what I want doesn’t matter?”

“It does! But I won't allow you to make that decision for us until we talk properly.” 

“I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to see you anymore.” 

“Just-” 

What should he say? What can he say? He’s running out of words to convince you and you’re not budging. It’s pure panic that arises in his throat when he watches you desperately try to pry his fingers off your wrist. 

He grips tighter. He has a feeling that if he gives up now, it would be that easy for you to venture beyond his reach. You’d never come to another one of these gatherings. Maybe he’d get a glimpse of you at a game against Tobio, you wearing an Adlers jersey with a #20 printed in the back and fuck- 

That’s such a terrible image, he almost feels like physically doubling over to soothe the stabbing jealousy in his chest. 

“I love you,” he utters out. 

“What?” 

His forehead comes down to rest on yours, pouring out his entire being into those three words again. “I love you.” 

“Atsumu! That is not casual!” you whisper urgently. 

He can’t help but laugh. It’s a mixture of relief that the confession has finally freed itself from the confines of his ribcage and at your alarmed but adorably frank comment. 

“No,” he agrees. “It’s not.” 

“So then… why did you… that night…” 

“That night, I was an idiot that didn’t realize how much I felt for you. I took for granted that I’d always be able to see you again like this and have you like I always have. But I don’t wanna live on hope or ‘next time’ anymore. I wanna know that I can and when I will see you again.” 

Foreheads still pressed against another, he leaves you with nowhere to run. You close your eyes. He does too. 

“So will you please come home with me so we can figure this out together?” 

Much like that very first night at the bar, you waver between going back out to the party or staying with him. He sees the indecision in your eyes and for those few moments, he walks on a tightrope and you hold the scissors. 

“Okay,” you whisper, so quiet it barely makes a sound. 

–

“Missed you so damn much.” 

“Atsumu, wait-” 

It’s immediate when his door swings open. Suddenly, you’re pressed against the wall and the door slams shut. Atsumu pushes closer one leg forcefully opening yours up and picking you up by the thighs. With nowhere to run, you wrap your legs around his waist and open up for Atumu to deepen the kiss. 

“Thought we were gonna talk,” he hears you say between breaths. 

“Later,” he rasps, kissing you harder and starting to rock his hips against you. “Missed you so fuckin’ much.” 

“Me too,” you admit quietly and that’s all you get to say before you succumb to his desperation. 

– 

“You know,” you say, much later that night as you rest your cheek on his chest. “You still owe me an explanation. Just ‘cause we slept together doesn’t mean I totally forgive you.” 

Atsumu considers making a quip about how you being here with him, drawing indiscernible patterns on his torso with your finger, wearing his clothes, sleeping in his bed, smelling like him is making it look pretty good for him, but he figures he flew way to close to the sun for today. 

“I know. And I promise we’ll talk more. No more dinin’ and dashin’ in the mornin’, yeah?” 

You consider this for a moment, before propping both arms on his chest and resting your head on your fists thoughtfully. 

He thinks it's the cutest thing he’s ever seen. 

“Just so I don’t misunderstand anything again-”

“You’re not misunderstanding anything, I promise.”

“I know, but I have to hear it.” 

“Will you be my wife?” 

“Atsumu!” 

“Okay, okay sorry. We’ll do that later then. Can we start with girlfriend?” 

“Hmm… I’ll need to think about it. Not sure how I feel about a guy who goes straight to home plate before he even takes me out to dinner.” 

“Y’know what, now that you mention it, I don’t know how I feel about a girl who goes home with a guy she just met-” 

“Shut up.” you snort and something’s definitely not right because every sound you make is the most adorable thing. He swears he’s got hearts in his eyes.

“And ‘Tsumu?” 

Lovestruck, he croons, “yeah, darlin’?” 

“I’d love to be your fiance.” 

“That’s my girl.”

[earth4angels]

𝐞𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥

modern jacaerys velaryon

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: when love is at its final meeting, are you willing to suffer through it or cowardly pretend it is not real to feel nothing?

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: angst. heart break, slice of life kinda? this is all in jacaerys pov. inspired by the song cry — cas.

𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐞’𝐬 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐬: this story does have little personal significance to me. i wrote it as a request, noonie wanted something very angst from jace and currently my friend is going through a breakup. so this came to be. when there isn’t love anymore, please don’t stay, don’t fight for something that is already dead. theres someone out there searching for the love you’re willing to give. ps: thank you em for reading this for me and approving the msg 💌

word count: 2k — drabble.

Time. That was all Jacaerys thought of, how every second slipped through his fingers, elusive and relentless like grains of sand in an hourglass.

He sighed once again, his pale fingers danced through the scattered thread that entangled from its perfect pattern of his sweater. He knew he should have given his voice a chance to say something. Yet he sat there with no words and his heart in a complete disarray.

He looked up slowly, the curls of his hair hiding the way his eyes betrayed his stoic expression. He was hiding pain, and regret. Regret of letting his heart play tricks on him, thinking this time it would be different.

She sat there quietly, looking straight into his eyes that became a transparent window into his soul. Jacaerys knew she had already sensed his conflicting emotions, she was just that good at reading him.

“I-,” he started before she released what seemed like a scoff. Whatever it was it had his heartstrings flickering, making a odd sound that only he heard. He paused, his heart shattering once again, this is one of the reasons why he could not bring himself to ever be this vulnerable again. He wanted to avoid ever feeling this way again.

“You’re breaking up with me? Is that what you will say Jacaerys?”

His voice is was caught in a twist, he had nothing to say yet his heart told him it was better this way. There was nothing in common anymore, she was far, distant and cold. Jacaerys no longer felt the need to reach for her as she was entertained with arms that loved her better than he did.

Jacaerys loved her, he truly did. He held his heart on his sleeve just how he was holding the thin thread from his sweater, his fingers pushing it into the pattern that no longer accepted it.

She was beautiful, smart and sweet. Jacaerys fell in love with her eyes, the way she spoke and how she moved, she spoke with her heart and never from a sense of need. He just could not come to terms with what changed.

“You know what dear? Life is simply hard to understand, but love is a complicated thing, some people get lucky and some don’t — and that’s okay! If one love doesn’t work, there will be another to heal you and maybe then, that will the one.”

He recalled the advice his mother gave him, and he believed it as she was now happily married with her second marriage. Her smile was brighter and her skin glowed, she was not the same as before where her eyes did not have the shine he loved to see.

Her eyes reminded him of the same way she looked at him now. As he locked eyes with the girl he once loved with his entire being, his heart no longer throbbed the way it did when he kissed her, or when he held her hand, his skin did not tingle anymore. She was just another girl.

For a second, he did want to cry. Inside a cave, he wanted to curl himself and cry loudly at how much he wished life was different. He had plans and damn he just wanted to love her forever.

She was his world, the center that held him grounded. As he kept looking at her he realized everything he ever felt was gone, he felt absolutely nothing. He was empty, he was sucked out of a possibility that was no longer possible. He was holding onto a fantasy for over a month with thoughts that maybe — just maybe it was all in his head. He would stay to go back to how they started and later laugh together again. He knew better however.

Cregan saw it before he did, Aegon freaking Targaryen, his uncle that had more experience than him and claimed love only existed in movies — saw it. He denied the truth, an excuse pooling on his lips whenever they asked why he was alone majority of the time. His mouth opened and the words became a empty void that only had his relatives and close friends shake their heads with full sympathies.

There was no cheating involved, that Jacaerys knew for sure. She was simply always entertained with her friends that she enjoyed spending more time with than him. The end to their story was simply a regrettable loss. There was no more love to give.

A couple that no longer had anything to provide, no connection and no reason to continue going on with the idea of two souls being together.

Jacaerys knew the hard slap of the truth when he kissed her. When she stayed over one night and he pulled her on top of him, he kissed her cherry flavored lips that he loved tasting and instead of feeling the need to shower her with love he felt… empty. His lips no longer tingled, no longer did he feel his feet curling or how his hands wanted to desperately hold every inch of her body to mark his love. That night as she slept soundlessly beside him, curled a few inches away from him he laid quietly with his heart painfully tugging at his chest — he had fallen out of love with her.

Perhaps, it was him that started to show less reasons to stay, or maybe it was her. Nobody knew who was the one that started breaking apart the chains that held their hearts together. All Jacaerys wanted to do was run and hide into the safety of his home, cry and shout at the Gods for punishing him, for taking away the closest thing he felt to magic.

As she looked at him with no emotions, he began to feel anger or maybe it was disappointment, he could not grab a hold of his emotions. A relationship of a year and a half down the drain, but he knew it taught him one thing — to never lose or change yourself for anyone.

He slowly nodded, his eyes closed slightly before he bit into the tip of his tongue to refuse throwing up.

She slightly moved her head in a quick nod, “I’m glad you are. You are amazing Jace, kind and the sweetest man to exist but you are not the one for me. I just don’t…” she took a deep breath, every word stabbing his heart more, he felt nothing for her anymore but it still hurt to finally say good bye, “You deserve more than what I gave you and I know you feel the same.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” He said, his eyes blazing with mixed feelings, he just wanted the way his heart painfully tugged to stop, “When you just stopped loving me, why couldn’t you just lea—“

“Leave? Jacaerys. This is as hard as it is already. I saw how you loved me, you still loved me when I was already five feet out the door ready to run from you.”

Ah. His breath took a sharp inhale. His fingernails was now pressing deep into the palm of his hands. The answer came to him like a bucket of cold water in an instant. She was the one that began the tearing.

“I couldn’t…” she shook her head in regret, “I couldn’t bare to look into your eyes that held so much spark and love for me. You deserved so much at that time and I am so sorry Jace.”

He licked his lips, once and twice. The world felt fuzzy, empty and weird. If he shouted, it could have bounced back like an echo. If he cried, his tears would have trailed out of his sockets like air. He had nothing to give anymore.

“I see,” he said finally after minutes of silence from his part. The center of his world, once upon a time only sat in front of him as tears pooled down her face. If one met him a month ago, they would have cooed how quick he was to wipe those tears. Yet, he only stared quiet and empty.

His fingers relaxed, his skin now tethered. He took a deep breath before opening his mouth. The freckles on his cheeks was more prominent as his face began to grow red. She stopped for a second to admire his beauty. She was seconds away from losing him completely and she began to think that maybe time will tell.

His hands slowly pulled back his curls as he leaned down, his movements looked ragged, it felt almost like his body was only held by gravity, yet he pushed forward. He carefully, with more to say yet no energy to speak, gently pushed a box towards her. The final statement of a good bye, his wishes, his ideas and his heart all in a box.

“I packed everything you left at my apartment, if I missed anything, let the lobby’s receptionist know.”

His voice had no emotion, it came from a place of emptiness. He had no more energy, only simply wanting to forget this current event never happened.

“Jac—“ she reached out towards him with eyes wide, her voice sounding shaken.

He stopped her. This was it — the moment he dreaded yet longed for. He was finally going to be given a chance to start new, to let his mind and heart heal at its pace.

His hands burned at the touch of hers. Slowly he pushed her hands away, “You know what? I wish that this was different, that you cheated on me so I can easily forget you quicker and that this would hurt less. But the fact that we are simply on other pages is harder to grasp. I really loved you. You were the most beautiful angel in the universe and God I wanted to do so much with you…” He shook his head as a scoff fell from his lips, “but now, I blame myself for letting you get away from me, I begin to think if it was me that pushed you, or if I missed anything that you needed or craved for. I truly, began to blame myself. I denied the truth for so long, I kissed you and touched you like you were everything. How many times did I loved you and you only accepted it? When I whispered how much I loved you as I held you deep at nights, did you just laid there accepting it? I think of these things and it’s like a knife going through my heart over and over again. I wish that on nobody, not even you. I wish things were different — that maybe you could’ve been honest so we can avoid this pain.”

He blinked to turn away the burn that his eyes began to feel, he was tired. Sighing in complete disbelief and defeat he continued, watching as she bit into her lips to avoid cries, he did not understand why she was, “If we see each other in the future, I hope we look at each other with a smile. We did share beautiful moments together, and we learned so much about ourselves. But as for now, I do hope to never see you again.”

She released a choked sob that sounded like gasp, “Jacaerys plea—“

He stood up from the bench, grabbing his umbrella he stepped out the gazebo welcoming the slight breeze and the quiet rain that fell on his face. He slowly turned to face her one last time, “Thank you for loving me in a short amount of time, take care of yourself.”

His umbrella covered the rain that fell on him, as he walked further away he focused on the sound of the wind that blew against his cheeks and not at the sobs that came from the girl he believed to have a future with.

Perhaps, in another time, someday, he would not cry for love again.

fav friends aka the slut cult: @benjinotes @hxtd @bucksplum @ellewod @eldrith @swordgrace @vee-mage @divinesolas @housetargaryenloyalist @astrxq @manhandlememando @bryscorner @princessbellecerise @xxselenite @v3lary0ns

natties angel list (open!): @aemondvelaryon @fleurbies @yohanseyebrowmole

jace nation tag list (open): @smurfelle @vividxpages @number-0-iz @writtenapoiogy @thenotesapppoet @agqrtz @girlthatislost

[bri-cheeses]

Our Little Secret - Part 3

| Rosekiller microfic | Word count: 668 | Part two is here |

-

“Evan,” said Barty from behind him, but Evan didn’t stop walking. If he could only reached that stupid doorknob—

“Loretta Fieldwake, start of fifth year.”

Evan stopped.

Barty continued speaking. “The first girlfriend you had. Cas had to have the same talk with me. I just didn’t understand why. And the mistletoe was because I still didn’t understand why, but something felt different about kissing you than it did with any of our other friends. I spent that dinner trying to figure out why. And I wasn’t the one who broke up with Cooper in sixth year, he was the one who dumped me, because he said that I was too obsessed with you and that he didn’t want to be dating someone who so clearly wanted to be with someone else. And I was endlessly confused about what he was talking about, but I was ecstatic to have you start talking to me again after he was gone.

“In sixth year, all those runs you went on felt like a special form of torture, because you would come back all flushed and sweaty and I swear to Merlin that no one had ever looked better. I told Regulus about it, because I was confused and said I shouldn’t be thinking thoughts like that because you were my best friend and there were only platonic feelings between us. He looked at me like I was insane, but he let it drop. And I think that he must’ve looked at you like that because he was sad for the both of us. And I lied about Amortentia too, because I was starting to figure out something and I was terrified of naming it. And I took that shirt on purpose, even if I knew I shouldn’t have. I was just glad that you didn’t say anything about it.

“And last night everything got so twisted up and I finally forgot why I had been stopping myself from having a chance with you, and so I just… went for it. And you did, too, and it was great and amazing but I woke up this morning and panicked because I didn’t think you wanted me for anything more than a hook-up and I messed things up pretty catastrophically and, well, I’m just… sorry. But I’m not sorry to finally have the air cleared between us, because from the sound of it, we should’ve had this talk a long, long time ago.”

Evan didn’t turn around. Couldn’t, because once he did then everything would shatter and he’d wake up from whatever wonderful dream state he’d gone into where Barty liked him back and they had a chance to actually have something between them.

Barty’s voice sounded from close behind him—he must’ve walked closer after he had finished speaking—and his voice was soft but hopeful.

“Rosie?” he said, and something about the way he said it had Evan turning around before he could stop himself.

Barty was still holding the clothes that Evan had dumped in his arms, and he was looking at Evan nervously. Another sock dropped from the pile.

Evan laughed wetly, his eyes filled with unshed tears.

“I told you not to call me that,” he said

Barty’s mouth quirked up into a half smile. “Somehow, I didn’t think you’d mind this time.”

Evan laughed again and shook his head, then stepped closer to Barty and gabbed the collar of his shirt.

“You’re infuriating,” he said, pulling Barty into him.

The clothes dropped to the floor with a soft thud as Evan buried his face into Barty’s neck and laughed, shaking with years of not-quite’s and almost-there's, but feeling like everything in the world was finally making sense, there in their dorm room with Barty’s arms wrapped around him.

“I may be infuriating,” Barty hummed, tilting his head so it rested on top of Evan’s, “but I’m starting to think that you don’t mind it so much.”

“No,” Evan said into his shoulder. “I don’t mind it at all.”

-

(The End!)

[luwritesstuff]

Happy Birthday, Dean Winchester

wc: 622

notes: fluff, fade to black smut, no use of y/n, gn!reader

“Go find some vampires for him to hack up, I don't care, just get him out of the bunker for at least a few hours,” you whisper-yelled to Sam, careful not to alert Dean in the other room to your plans. This was Dean’s first birthday you'd be spending together that wasn't plagued by a looming apocalypse, world-ending creature, or any other angel or demon crap. You were finally at peace.

Of course, there were always still things to hunt, but the general safety of humanity was secure, and the Winchesters could finally let themselves relax. Which was perfect timing, because you were determined to make Dean’s birthday special. Every year, he insisted he didn't care, only asked for birthday sex, and that was that. This year was no different, but you weren't satisfied with it just being a regular evening.

So, while Sam took Dean out on a hunt, you went to the grocery store and got all of the beer, burgers, and sugary sweets Dean could possibly want. Everyone else had been in on the plan for weeks, so as soon as Dean was gone, Jodie, Donna, and Eileen helped you decorate the bunker. Alex and Claire were on snack duty while you got to work grilling burgers and chilling the beers. Bobby, Charlie, and Cas showed up with just enough time for everyone to hide in the main room and await Sam’s text that they were on their way back.

“Surprise!” You all yelled as soon as Dean was at the top of the stairs, causing him to jump and reach for his gun, which Sam had helpfully disarmed before they came in. Dean placed a hand over his heart dramatically and came down to give everyone a hug. “Son of a bitch, you guys got me. I thought we were just having a chill night in?” Dean asked and pulled you into his side for a kiss.

“This is chill. You didn't really think I was gonna let you do nothing for your birthday, did you?” You raised an eyebrow and offered him another kiss before separating yourself to allow him to go and socialize. His eyes followed you throughout the evening and when he bit into the burger you'd made him, he moaned and joked about marrying you. No one else had to know that it wasn't a joke, that one day Dean was going to put a ring on your finger.

After everyone was full of pie, beer, and laughs, the evening was coming to an end. Sam and Eileen retreated to their room while the girls shoved into a guest room, too giggly and drunk to go anywhere else. By the time Dean had said his thank you’s and good nights, you were waiting in bed in a pair of Dean’s boxers and one of his t-shirts. “Happy birthday, baby,” you said softly and tugged him on top of you for a kiss.

“Thank you for this,” Dean hummed and slid his hands under the shirt to feel the soft skin of your stomach. His eyes followed over your form and you saw the way they darkened, he always did get a bit crazy seeing you in his clothes. “I still get birthday sex, right?” He wiggled his eyebrows, while you let out a laugh and hooked a leg around his hips, pulling you closer together.

“Obviously, I'm not an animal,” you teased and tugged Dean’s bottom lip between your teeth before soothing over it with your tongue and reveling in the groan he released. And so the night went, and when you woke up in Dean’s arms hungover and grumbling, he was sure to pull you back under the covers and thank you again.

[herefortheships]

Here it is! My first fanfic in over TEN years! This fic is for today's Destiel fandom event Electric Boogaloo, hosted by @blanketforcas in celebration of the anniversary of the Latam dub giving us canon reciprocal Destiel.

The theme of the event is reciprocation, and that is the theme of my little fic. I hope you like it!

(I wanted to also share this to AO3 and contribute to the over 100,000 Destiel fanworks, but I haven't gotten my invitation yet! So this will go over there eventually.)

Word count: 1,778 words

No warnings of any kind. I think it's a sweet kind of story.

Short summary: Dean sits down to write a letter for Cas with all the things he didn't get to say.

Felicidades a Dean y Castiel en este aniversario. Siempre quiero recordar la alegría (y el DOLOR de ALMA lol) que estos dos me han dado desde el 2012 hasta el día de hoy. Los amo. 😊✨

(Congratulations to Dean and Castiel in this anniversary. I always wat to remember the joy (and the PAIN of my SOUL lol) these two have given me since 2012 until today. I love them. 😊)

💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙

The words he never said

A short fic by Here for the Ships (Des 💚)

Dean Winchester sat at his desk with nothing but a pencil, a sheet of paper, and a bottle of booze. Sam was out in an early morning run with the dog, so Dean was alone with some time to kill and some thoughts to finally drag out of his head and smother away with this one sheet of paper. It had been over two months, now, since he had been forced to part ways with Cas; since his entire world had been turned inside-out and upside-down.

He wasn’t sure if he had processed everything; from the loss of Cas, to defeating Chuck (aka the God), to living in a world where his new God had been a surrogate son to him only a couple of months ago.

The events of those days played often in his mind, when he found himself alone; they paraded in his dreams as he tried to sleep at night… The grief of what was lost had become a constant companion, peering through any moment of peace in the most unexpected ways. A song suddenly playing in the radio, a scent attached to a moment he would never get back.

Dean had considered taking it on as his one mission in life, hunting down the Empty and getting Cas back. But no. He had learned it well and deep by now, that revenge never resulted in anything good. Plus, he’d had enough of dealing with supernatural beings with ineffable, omnipotent powers. Chuck was the final Big Fish he took down, and he was good with that.

Dean took a look at the bottle of room-temperature beer for a few seconds, and he pushed it back on his desk instead of taking a sip this time. It’d hurt, but these words needed to be said. Or at least, he needed them out of his head and stored somewhere else.

“Well, Cas… These are the things I never said…” he said to himself, picked up the pencil, and got to writing:

Last night I prayed to Jack, again… And Cas, buddy, you know how much I hate having to do that. But I had to. You know, I thought I had accepted it, that I was over it. You did what you had to do, and I did what I had to do… We were all doing what we thought was right. But it just keeps playing over and over, and over in my head.

Cas, what the hell were you thinking? I’m not one for judging… I’ve done my share of stupid things, too. For love, for not wanting to be left alone… But Cas, how could you do this to me? I know it sounds fucking selfish, because you’re gone, and because of that we’re all safe and your sacrifice wasn’t it vain—it was never in vain, I really hope you know that. But Cas, now I have to live knowing that you’re gone because you loved me. You loved me. You said all those things about me, I can scarcely remember all of it (trust me, I’m kicking myself about it every freaking day), but I can feel it, everything. I can feel every damned word, every damned day.

Just so you know, because of you… Because of you I could see more in me. Because of you I could see myself differently than I ever did before. Man, I wish I wasn’t so bad with this… That I could put into words just what that all meant to me, what it means to me.

You said all those things about me, and I didn’t get to say anything. And yeah, just like I’ve prayed to you, hoping you could hear what I had to say, I’ve also prayed to Jack. I’ve prayed almost every single night for him to get you out of that place; for him to set things right… But I haven’t heard a word from Jack, and I haven’t seen a flutter of angel wings anywhere; nothing to connect me to Heaven, nothing to give me a clue on what to do….

Every night, the scene of your death plays inside my head, like a freaking movie I can’t look away from no matter how much I want. And in my head, I always stop it from happening. In my head we face the Empty together and we win. We always win.

Dean stopped for a moment, gathering his thoughts, wondering if writing this would be enough.

I think I took it for granted, that we always win. I think at some point I felt invincible. You know, you and me, and Sam, we’ve taken some pretty Big Fish. I think something inside me always felt like we’d always win, that we’d always come back to the bunker together and share some beers. I think something inside me always believed that, even though I didn’t fully realize it. Looking back now, I see it. Cas, when you said those words to me, I froze. And it took me a while, you know? To understand what really happened. That I was your happiness.

“No, I don’t think I should put it like that…”

That I was your happiness. That just letting me know how you felt about me was enough to make you truly happy. Enough to make the Empty come and take you. But Cas, now I have to live with that knowledge and it’s driving me fucking crazy, because… Alright, I’m not good with words, and I’m sure by now you know that about me, Cas, but I just wanted you to know, I needed you to know

Dean sat back and sighed a long sigh, staring at the page like it was staring right back at him, somehow shaming him, even though there was no one here to read over his shoulder. “I can’t even write the motherfukin’ words.”

There was no time to finish this now, anyway. He’d heard the door a few minutes ago: Sam was back, and he should be in the shower now. There was a case they were driving up to today, and he’d already made up his mind: it would be his last. He was officially retiring after today (not that he’d told Sam anything about that yet, but… he’d figure out how to say it on the way back).

They were supposed to leave after breakfast for a whole day of driving.

Chuck was defeated and Jack had vanished, having become the new God (that was still crazy to think about). There were no immediate world-ending threats and no more infinitely powerful surrogate son to take care of anymore. He was done hunting. If Cas was truly gone forever, then he’d honor his sacrifice by living the best possible life he could live. And that life, however he looked at it… That life didn’t include hunting. Not anymore.

Dean sat down to tie his boots, and as he did, a second pair of boots appeared right in front of him. “Man, that was fast. I didn’t even hear the damned door just now. You’re gonna have to give me a break, Sammy.” But when he raised his gaze, he found himself looking at Jack, standing there with a small smile.

The color drained out of Dean’s face. For a moment, he could only stare at Jack, wondering if he was imagining it.

“Hello, Dean. You’ve been okay?” Jack said, sounding a little timid, to which Dean replied, “Yeah… I’m fine, no thanks to you… Almost gave this old man a heart attack…” Dean joked, a little breathless, and God or not, this was Jack, so he pulled him into a hug. “Come here. How’ve you been? It’s so good to see you…”

“I’ve been good,” Jack said, and he pulled away. “There’s someone else who’s been wanting to see you." Jack beamed. "Believe me, it took me a while to negotiate (you won’t be surprised to know, not even God is entirely all powerful), but I finally did it…”

And that was when Dean felt it, the powerful presence behind him.

He could do nothing but stand there as the realization of what Jack meant dawned on him, until the words broke him out of the spell, “Hello, Dean.”

Dean turned around, and there he saw…

“Cas…”

Castiel was standing there, right in front of his bed. He was fully restored; Dean didn’t need to see a shadow of his wings to know this was Cas in his full angelic power, safe and alive and standing right there in his bedroom. “But… how?”

“We heard your prayers,” Jack said, “and Cas didn’t belong in the Empty. I had to right a wrong.”

“You damn well had to…” said Dean, still staring at Cas. “Jack…” He finally turned back to thank him—to say anything—but Jack was gone.

“Dean… I’m so sorry…” Cas said. “I should’ve—”

“What are you talking about, man… You’re back… That’s all that matters.”

“I owe it all to Jack. He is everything I hoped he would become,” Cas said, and he smiled.

And then, there was silence. Even though Dean had been writing a long letter just moments ago, full of all the things he wished he could have said to Cas that day, here was Cas in the flesh right now—his Cas—and not a single word would form.

So Dean just pulled Cas into a hug and squeezed him tight, breathing him in.

“I’m sorry it all happened so abruptly; I wish I could—” Cas started.

“I don’t care. Cas… I don’t care.” Dean pulled back from the hug, staring Cas straight in the face with his hands still on his arms. “All I care is that you’re here.”

Cas looked sad, or perhaps, conflicted. “Dean… I know… What I said before…” he started, but Dean stopped him again.

“Cas… If you heard me just now… If you’ve heard my prayers, to you, to Jack… Then you know. But still… I feel like I should say something.”

“Dean… You really don’t have to—”

“But I’m not good at saying something, so…” he pulled Cas into a kiss. It was warm and tender, and salty with the tears that had finally pushed their way out. Cas kissed him right back, and when they stopped, they stood there sharing each other’s breath, with their lips just an inch away from another kiss.

“I think that should be enough of an answer… But if it wasn’t, Cas…” Dean smiled, a small, trembling smile, and it was almost a whisper when he said, “I love you, too.”

[deancasbigbang]

Title: Potentially Joy

Author: Diminuel

Artist: sidewinder

Rating: Teen

Pairings: DeanCas

Length: 24000

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Tags: Mpreg, barely mentioned A/B/O (for the sake of Mpreg), fix-it, post 15x06, Auntie Rowena to the rescue

Posting Date: November 11, 2024

Summary: Castiel is trying to move on and come to terms with his grief after Jack’s death. He didn’t plan to stumble across a case that forced him to face Dean’s anger again, he didn’t mean to faint when he used his power to heal a frightened boy and he absolutely didn’t expect to learn that in the gnawing emptiness he feels, life could still grow. Now he has to deal with having a child so close after losing Jack. How can he trust that it’s going to be different this time, that this child will not step out of line and turn from child to monster in the eyes of its father? It seems impossible, but with some counseling from auntie Rowena Dean and Cas try to make it work.

Excerpt: The car door opened and Castiel gasped as he was pulled out of the spiral of his memories. The disturbance of the air in his car felt like a slash to his Grace, as did the loud slamming of the car door. Dean’s anger hit him next. Castiel refused to look away from his hands on the steering wheel. He hadn’t even noticed him coming. “You’re not running away this time,” Dean said, his words like the cocking of a gun. A warning. Castiel frowned at that, then finally turned his head. “Running,” he repeated only for Dean to glare back at him. “Yeah, exactly. Running. Like you always do!” The words hung between them, taking up almost all the air in the car. “What the hell are you thinking, man?” Castiel didn’t answer. “You’re pregnant?! Didn’t you think that I should know about that?!” Ah. So that was what Dean was angry about this time. “What was the plan here?! Huh? Do you want to punish me or what?” Cas scoffed. “You being pregnant is one thing, but keeping that a secret? Why the hell are you constantly keeping secrets?!” Cas tensed. “If you’re referring to-“ He stopped, Jack’s name lodged in his throat. He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t have his name hang between them in this small space of the car interior, heating up with anger and frustration. He deserved better. “I didn’t keep a secret,” he said. “You were as aware of the situation as I was,” Castiel reminded him. “There’s no point in discussing this with you, again.” “What’s that supposed to mean?” Castiel tilted his head, baffled by Dean’s stubbornness. “You blame me for what I did not tell you, even though I did not mean to keep any secrets from you. But what about what you said to me?” he challenged. “You told me that I was dead to you.” Dean flinched, but if there was any remorse under the anger Dean projected Castiel did not have the energy to unearth it. “You said that everything that ever goes wrong, in your life, in the world, was my fault.” “You held a gun to my son’s head.” Cas didn’t say. “You thought that the world would be a better place without him in it. You were relieved when Chuck unraveled him, blotted out his name from the history books. Nobody even remembers him, nobody but us. Jack’s world had been small, living with us in the bunker, but he had had friends at a time, people who liked him. And now he was gone, completely wiped out.” He wanted to scream at Dean, but he kept quiet and the weight of the silence seemed to settled on Dean. The anger cracked, but not enough.

DCBB 2024 Posting Schedule

[lightwise]

Be There - Parts 1 & 2

Note: As I like to do (aka my brain holds me hostage until it is satisfied), I had to fill in a couple of moments that we didn’t get in S3 E4 - A Different Approach. I am approaching Tech and Echo’s absence as each character is aware of it so far—so whether he is dead or simply gone, mentions of Tech are not meant to imply that he is physically present in these scenes. 

Enjoy. 

Read both parts together here on AO3.

SPOILERS for season 3 of TBB ahead.

Part 1: Our mission isn’t over yet. 

Beep. Beep. Beep. 

Wrecker stared unblinking at the yellow transmission light as it lit up for the third time. Hunter had stepped away from the console for a brief minute to rest his eyes. This wasn’t standard procedure. When Echo or Rex or Phee needed to reach them, they usually used their wrist comms or the portable holo. The inbuilt console had been…Tech’s domain. 

“Uh, Hunter…you might wanna see this.”

A gruff sigh came from the pilot’s seat. “See what, Wreck?” 

The last beep finally entered Hunter’s consciousness as he tried to brush off the weariness that threatened to overtake him. So far they were only a third of the way around the sector found in the data from Setron. More time had been lost taking the cadets all the way out to Pabu too (not that he regretted the stop). His mind couldn’t shut off, wouldn’t stop thinking through the next place they could look every time a planet turned up empty, but he could feel his ligaments starting to fray at the edges in protest. 

Wrecker would have pointed out that he had been falling apart at more than the edges for awhile now. But it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered until they brought her home. He just needed to keep it together until then. 

“I…I don’t remember what the codes mean but…isn’t that…does this…”

Hunter rubbed his eyes wearily, trying to get them to focus enough to read the sharp white letters that had appeared on the dashboard. Two innocuous lines, in an old coding sequence that Tech had set up before…he blinked that thought away. 

OM.P53.NMR.2SR. BT.

Plan 53 (all comms silent for a stealth rendezvous). Nearest moon of Ryloth. 2 standard rotations. Be there. 

But it was the first letters in the sequence that caused his heart to stop in his chest. 

“I shall make it so that the first two letters of each of our names signify who is sending the message. They should always be the first letters in the sequence.” A tilt of the head and a push of the goggles up his nose had accompanied Tech giving a very pointed look in Wrecker’s direction. “That should be easier to remember than full code names, I hope.”

OM. Omega. It couldn’t be. It had to be. Nobody outside of the Batch knew this frequency—or code.

“It’s HER.” 

He gripped the edge of the console in a daze. How?? She had escaped? She had somehow found a way to contact them. She…she was alive.

“But…how do we know for sure?” Wrecker’s eyebrows pinched together in concern. “After all the luck we’ve been having…what if this is a trap, Hunter?”

The words Hunter had said before their failed mission to Eriadu haunted him now, thrown back in his face like a taunt. He knew Wrecker didn’t mean it that way, though.

“I don’t think it’s a trap. I really don’t think so. But either way…we have to try it.” He glanced at the chronometer on the dash and pulled up the coordinates to Ryloth. “Especially this location…only Omega would have picked here, where she met Hera for the first time. She knows it will be off the radar but easy to get to. We can just make it if we get going now.” He had barely swung the pilot’s seat back around before furiously punching in the coordinates. 

The Marauder’s engines picked up from their lull as they launched forward into hyperspace. Wrecker slumped into the seat beside him, staring out the flickering blue around them for a long moment. He had picked up Lula from her perch on Omega’s blanket at some point, and was passing her tenderly back and forth in his hands. 

“I really hope you’re right.”

They cautiously exchanged glances as the shock and adrenaline of the last few minutes wore off. For the first time in a very, very, long time, Hunter felt the faintest flicker of something he could call hope. But he didn’t dare let it burst into full flame. Not yet. 

Wrecker suddenly chuckled and clapped his hand on Hunter’s shoulder. “Ya know, we’re a mess. We really should clean up before we get there.” His voice lowered a bit as he added, “no reason making her worry any more than she probably already is at how rough we look.” 

Hunter scowled and pinched his brow. His brother was right. The lack of sleep and hygiene had caught up with them at this point, and they smelled worse than they looked. Omega would be able to see the wear and tear on their armor eventually, but at least they could be presentable to welcome her home. 

“Fine, I’ll go shower,” he huffed, giving Wrecker a strained grin that turned into a groan as he tore his limbs out of the seat. 

The view in the mirror only confirmed his disheveled state, and he groaned again as he tugged the bandana off his forehead and slumped against the fresher wall.

Please, please let this be real. I don’t know if I can bear another false lead.

They had crossed the galaxy five times at this point. He would a hundred more if that’s what it took. They didn’t leave their own behind.

Most of the time. 

His ears began ringing. The unbidden thought that had been slowly poking its way through his subconscious finally breached the surface. What if…what if Omega had been taken to the same facility as Crosshair. What if they had found each other? What if…she wasn’t alone?

Deke’s words had been painfully etching their way deeper and deeper into his heart since the boy had carelessly uttered them.

“At least you’re loyal.” 

If only he knew. Once Hunter had claimed those words proudly. It was the ethos he had lived by. Still wanted to live by. But…he wasn’t sure he deserved that label anymore. Too many mistakes had been made. He had failed too many times. 

Echo had told him once that their unbeatable streak on missions during the war wasn’t necessarily a good thing. And every time Hunter thought he was making the right decision, he ended up proving him right. He wasn’t prepared for the weight of failure. For the ways everything kept slipping through his clenched fists. For watching his brother point a rifle in his face and walk away. For not having the right words to bring him back. For all the ways he had to choose when there was no good choice to be had. For watching his entire world fall away. For picking shattered goggles up off the ground. For the dark and empty gunners mount that had been staring him in the face for five and a half months. 

Silver hair and a toothpick between thin lips suddenly floated in front of his eyes, sneering at him. Every choice you’ve made has been wrong. We’re all lost because of you. And then it shifted, the silver hair morphing into a scarred head and terrified, wide eyes that glistened with tears. Begging, pleading. Why weren’t you weren’t loyal to me?

No, no, no, NO. Hunter dug the heels of his palms into his eyes, trying desperately to stop the vortex spinning out of control inside his head. A sob escaped his lips as he collapsed onto the floor. He could never repair any of this. He didn’t know how. 

He sucked in a breath as he felt the faint pressure of a hand on his shoulder that couldn’t possibly be there. A clipped voice suddenly echoed through his mind. I have found that repairs, while daunting at first, simply take repeated effort and inclination in order to achieve them. It’s like a puzzle. The pieces are there, you just have to pay attention and take the time to put them back together. Steady hands. No Hunter, try moving it this way. See? I knew you could do it. 

If only he was here. Hunter wiped the traces of tears from his eyes as his hitched breathing slowly evened out. Whatever—whoever was waiting for them on that moon—he would have to face them. Whether it was a waking dream or another nightmare. He had crossed the galaxy five times in as many months. But he still hadn’t been able to outrun the pain. Hadn’t been able to outrun himself.  

It was time to try a different approach.   

Maybe not everything had to be lost. 

-----------

Part 2: You don’t know if they’re still alive.  

“They’ll be there.”

She had cut him off adamantly. The full force of her hope (her naïveté, he had called it just a few hours prior), pushing firmly against his gentle attempt at reason. 

Crosshair knew he wasn’t just trying to prepare Omega for the possibility that Hunter and Wrecker might not be waiting for them. For them? No, they would only be waiting for her. They had stopped waiting for him a long time ago.

No, his words were more an attempt at quelling his own twisted anxiety at the prospect of facing his brothers again. It had been…a year? More? Since he had stayed behind on that blasted platform. It felt like ten lifetimes ago now. So much had changed. He had changed. Or had he? 

 A staccato thud flung them out of hyperspace, the stolen freighter now drifting quietly past the two giant orange moons that guarded Omega’s choice of rendezvous. 

Still standing behind the copilot chair, his trained eye spotted the tiny speck of light coming from the open ramp of the Marauder. So they were alive. Of course. The tiniest twitch spasmed in Crosshair’s chest at the sight. 

That open door was for her, he reminded himself again. Not him. 

The girl stood unmoving as they touched down. Her spine straight, shoulders pulling down and back, and he could see the faintest reflection in the viewport of tears welling up in her eyes. 

The ramp began to lower and she suddenly came to life, arms and legs almost flailing in her haste to reach the ground. Though he could no longer see her face, as she paused at the last step Crosshair could tell that a weight had lifted from her shoulders. The weight of taking care of herself, taking care of him, getting them both to safety. 

She had accomplished her mission. 

He had to admit, he was impressed by her. Maybe he was starting to understand a little of how quickly Hunter’s loyalty had transferred to her, how she must have driven them all crazy at first with her bright-eyed optimism and inability to take no for an answer.

She really was the best of them. 

He sighed as her words echoed in his mind—“I’m not giving up, Crosshair! I won’t let you either.” Her stubbornness was certainly the family trait, and perhaps surpassed his own.  

Those words had somehow burrowed into his chest and wouldn’t leave. But they hadn’t shocked him. He expected her to say them to anyone. They fit perfectly within the love and loyalty she showed everyone around her.     

What had shocked him were the ones she said later, after he had tried every tactic he could think of to get her focus off of him and onto her own safety. He had long since accepted what the rest of his accelerated lifespan might be—serving as a test tube and punching bag for the Empire he had once sought glory from. How fitting, really. It was his penance, for everything he had done. Everything he had failed to do. 

Why should he have a chance to live when...he sighed again and pushed away the memories threatening to engulf him. Long brown hair and a beard blurred white with snow. Round, yellow-tinted lenses blinking pointedly in his direction. The remnants of a skull chalked onto the back wall of a bunk—just enough dust left to stain his fingers. 

“None of us belong here.”

The Empire changed people. For the worse. But after all those months of isolation, all his attempts to drive her away, to keep his distance so she would stay safe—he never expected for those wide eyes to practically beam sunlight at him in that force-forsaken, grey haze of a prison. She had seen him, then. Truly seen him for who he was—and still believed in him. In all of them.  

She had tried to give him the same outstretched hand many times before—during their desperate attempts to flee the sinking facilities of Kamino; on the sun-soaked platform after. In that makeshift holding cell after Kaller, where all of this had started. 

He wasn’t sure what surprised him more—that she had offered it one more time, or that he was finally willing to try and accept it. 

Batcher whined from her corner of the cockpit, tilting her head hesitantly at Crosshair as he remained fixated, unable to move from the viewport. His musings faded as he saw a shift in the light; Wrecker’s large form had suddenly darkened the doorway of the Marauder. 

Crosshair dug his spine into the door frame behind him, waiting. 

He didn’t have Hunter’s hearing, but he didn’t need it. He could imagine just how loud the shout of joy was that Wrecker let out as he ran to meet his little—their little sister. A faint smirk threatened to tilt his lips as the giant of a man lifted Omega high above his head and spun her around, wiping tears unashamedly from his eyes. Crosshair expected nothing less. He was sure there were matching tears streaming down Omega’s face as she clung desperately to her—their brother.

But where was…Crosshair’s eyes narrowed as they caught movement inside the Marauder. Was he truly prepared to see the etched face of his former leader, brother—friend—once again? A now familiar yet terrifyingly unwelcome spasm in his hand told him he was not.  

Hunter emerged from the shadows, stopping before the overhead light could illuminate his face. 

He must have said something, before practically leaping down the Marauder’s ramp as Omega catapulted herself forward again. Crosshair’s eyes softened as he watched his stoic, touch-averse brother cradle the girl in his arms, his eyes closed, his hands shifting over her back as though he would never let her go. 

Could he blame him?

But the atmosphere shifted abruptly as Hunter pulled back, his warm smile and affectionate gaze at Omega turning into a wide-eyed, disbelieving gape as he lifted his eyes toward the freighter behind her. There was no way he could see him through the tint of the cockpit, but his other senses were more than adequate at that distance. Hunter had finally realized that Omega had not escaped alone.

Crosshair felt panic wash over him. His gaze shifted to the pilot’s controls. It would be so easy to take the wheel and disappear, leave them all behind once again. Omega was safe. That was all that mattered, right? He could ditch the ship and find work on some backwater planet, do his best to keep off the Empire’s radar.

Batcher slowly shook herself and stood up from where she had been napping the last few hours, her eyes never leaving his. His lips tightened into a thin line as they stared each other down.  

He finally let out a disgruntled sigh, shaking his head and crouching down until he could rest his hand on the curve of her head. 

“I know, I know.”

She growled a little and then licked his hand, pointedly ignoring the scowl he gave in return. 

“I’m done running. Promise.” 

He achingly stood back to his full height and turned toward the back of the ship. He could almost feel Hunter’s shocked gaze still on him. Whatever message Omega had sent them, they clearly hadn’t been expecting him to walk down that ramp after her. After all the wrong choices—how could this one possibly go any better?

The tremor took over his hand again. But he suddenly, faintly, felt the pressure of a familiar, slender hand on his shoulder. And another, firmer grip cradling his trembling fingers, easing the shattered nerves. A pulse he thought he would never hear again thrummed next to his own for the briefest of seconds. 

He had nothing left to lose. 

It was time to try living again. 

Divider by the lovely @dystopicjumpsuit ✨

[dotthings]

Cas in The Man Who Knew Too Much clearly had every intention of repairing Sam's wall--but we know he didn't get a chance to fix it right away. He knows how much Dean loves Sam is the thing, and he knew, somewhere in his brain, not only that Dean would try to stop him from the path he was on to take the power of the purgatory souls, but that Dean cared about him too, and he had to distract Dean. So he knocked down Sam's wall, to distract Dean. Not to get Sam out of the way on any permanent basis--it was Dean Cas needed out of the way, and Cas no way was going to be capable of killing Dean. Or Sam. He was doing this to save his human family after all.

Cas still has enough sense of right/wrong that he refuses to give Crowley his portion of the souls. He betrays Crowley, and turns Crowley into his enemy.

"I've done my best in impossible circumstances. My friends--they abandon me. Plot against me." This was the point where I thought Cas has truly gone out of his mind, as he kills Balthazar, his angel friend who cares about him, the one angel who stood up for him in heaven.

Cas is just...so locked in the idea that his human family doesn't care about him, has tricked himself into believing Dean's objections to his plan is a betrayal, has rationalized everything to himself so deeply, there's no turning back. He's wrong, even though he is doing it for good motives--to save the world, to protect his human family. It's not evil. But he is wrong.

But here's the thing. Cas breaks the way Dean did in Hell. Cas, who had been tortured over and over at angel re-education camp, Cas who went up against the entire heavenly host, up against the archangels who could literally blow him to bits with the snap of a finger. First thing Godstiel does is some payback and does it to Raphael. Remember what Dean said about why he finally said yes and agreed to get off the rack in Hell and take up the knife. After all that pain, to finally take some control and some power and be able to dish it out, so he started carving into the souls in hell. Punishing the wicked. Which is kind of how Godstiel operates too. It's also why Dean took on the Mark of Cain. Desperation. Due to pain, to even the score, to get some power, finally, against the dark forces that keep having the upper hand. It's why Sam let himself get so taken in by Ruby and lured down the path he went down with the demon powers--so he could protect Dean, who he perceived as weak. Think of Cas saying "you're just a man, Dean."

Cas really is not that different from Sam and Dean, and all of Team Free Will are caught on the wheel at times with their own despair and desperation. Cas is not the villain. If he is, so are Sam and Dean.

[ananke-xiii]

The “body without organs” of Mary Winchester (and… Jimmy Novak).

When I started to pull the resurrection thread in the narrative of Supernatural I identified Castiel’s team-work resurrection in S13 and Mary’s impossible resurrection in S14 as my two main reference points from where I could develop this whole fantasy of mine. My initial idea in a nutshell was the following: Chuck, at certain point, decided that he didn’t want Cas back. He also decided that he didn’t want Mary back. So I asked myself why, of course. There are two characters behind Cas and Mary’s resurrections and these are Jack and Amara. So I thought it was cool to assume that Jack and Amara were what really went wrong in Chuck’s story. Since the show ends with a dethroned Chuck and with the union of Jack and Amara as the new “top dog” in town, it seems like it isn’t just a cool assumption but it’s possibly also correct (correct, again, in my fantasy, because we never saw Amara in the finale so this is just my mind grasping for meaning that makes sense to me).

What I didn’t expect to find while I was resurrecting the narrative threads of this dead show is that, ultimately, Mary Winchester is basically a Jimmy Novak minus Castiel. I’ll explain what I mean by this in a minute but I first want to say that I didn’t expect such a triangulation was going to come up. I already was aware of the connection between the theme of birth/motherhood/death and Castiel but I was surprised to find Jimmy Novak there, too.

Before going on I have to declare a little bit of defeat (for now). I believe that my mind can do any kind of cerebral somersaults but I’m a bit at loss (for now) about the reason why Jimmy Novak was resurrected after Raphael killed Castiel. Jimmy-as-soul doesn’t come back when Lucifer kills Castiel and I can’t come up with, let’s say, “diegetic” reasons to explain it. Is it because Raphael was less powerful than Lucifer? Mmmh. Is it just God’s will? Double mmmh. These reasons don’t satisfy me and I can’t help but see the cogs of the wheel turning behind the scenes, aka the same thing that happened to Final Ruby:

RUBY: Proof. This body is one-hundred percent socially conscious. I recycle. Al Gore would be proud. […] You didn’t want me to take a body with someone in it, and I made sure that the spirit was gone. Apartment was empty. You happy?

Just like Ruby, who allegedly seems on Sam’s side in S4 and therefore “good”, couldn’t be a demon possessing an innocent (since they wanted Sam and Ruby to make out hard… the implications would've been… unpleasant), Castiel, too, couldn't keep sharing his vessel with his rightful owner (Off-topic: further proof that Ruby and Castiel are two different sides of the same character). This is all to say that the show was very aware of the implications of their favourite metaphors and had to come up with creative ways to get around the “law” that they themselves had created.

In other words, Jimmy Novak’s “empty apartment” was a necessary sacrifice to keep Castiel-as-character around (well, apparently, much like Chuck, some showrunners didn’t exactly want Castiel-as-character around but let’s stash this as further proof for the “Chuck is the writers” theory).

Jimmy’s body goes Through.A.Lot. from S4 to S13 where it ends up on a pyre with Kelly Kline’s corpse (!!! The things I have to say about this!!!). From S5 onwards, however, Jimmy’s not “in there” anymore so we can all breathe out because at least this poor man/character wasn’t actually “in there” to suffer and be testimony to all the sufferings. But his body and his new tenant did.

As I’ve said before, after Cas’ resurrection in S13 I don’t know how but I do know that Cas gets back complete with Jimmy’s body and I personally like to think that Cas’ physical appearance from S13 is his own. It’s his “body”. He stole Jimmy’s looks but it’s not Jimmy’s body anymore. Cas’ body is… a replica (of Jimmy’s)… capable of holding… grace. In an unexpected turn of events, then, Jimmy’s body goes from awesome vessel coveted by all angels to a copy of itself. And this process actually frees poor Jimmy’s body from angelic tyranny (as if moving from vessel to copy can even be described as... freedom but anyway). How could this even be possible? Nothing comes from nothing, right?

Well, well, well! How lucky for me that Supernatural had established itself as a universe were “formless matter” was “just there, waiting to be born” and for God to pick and do what he pleases! So I finally come full-circle with my “Jack-as-hidden-threat” thesis: by waking Cas up in the Empty, Jack is creating his father who had gone back to being “formless matter”. In other words, Jack was already God in that he had the capacity to do the same things that God did. This is, by the way, the reason why the angels correctly identified him as the entity who could’ve been able to create more angels. Because, I think, he could have, just not in the same way as the angels imagined (in my fantasy Nick's storyline doesn't happen so please remove all of your memories about Nick waking Lucifer up in the Empty, that never happened on this blog).

In this way Jack, even with all the complex issues he has with power, actually grew up a bit from S13 to S14: in S13 he only started the re-creation of his father by waking him up in the Empty (Cas had to do a lot of work, too) while in S14 he actually managed to bring Mary back. It’s just that what he brought back was “a shell. A body, you know. That it was empty. Just a a replica. "Incapable of holding life."

Jack could have brought Mary back. As a matter of fact, in this fantasy of mine, I think Chuck had to intervene because he realized that Jack’s next step in his progress would’ve been the final one that would’ve allowed him the complete mastery over resurrection (and over souls...). Jack could’ve brought souls back without deals just like Amara could.

Now, I don’t know if Chuck can actually bring back souls or not. He apparently brought Jimmy back once. I thereofre don’t believe the “it’s complicated”  travesty he came up with in “Moriah” because it’s a fact that even basic demons, provided that there was a deal, could bring souls back so why not Chuck? It’s true, however, that, if it was Chuck who brought specifically Cas back before S13, then it would seem like he can manipulate grace rather than souls. It’s also true that when he got angry in “Moriah” he wasn’t able to resurrect the people in the cemetery who all came out zombie- and ghost-like. Following my fantasy I would say that Chuck can’t resurrect souls but I’ll have to think about this, for now I can’t really decide.

What’s important here, to me anyway, is that, at a certain point in the story (according to this fantasy of mine), both Mary and Jimmy are “just” bodies that aren’t even real bodies: they are empty copies, replicas unable to hold life (but able to hold grace). What’s even more “hilarious” is that Mary, who’s THE mother of the story, is first “absolved” of her “sin” of giving birth to Sam and Dean via the construction of a world where she never was a mother and then, the following season, she’s reduced to a copy of a body incapable of holding life (!!!) the creation of which was the reason why her whole family was damned. Jimmy, on the other hand, had to "do penance" because he had abondoned his family first, his angel second and accepted a life of torture to spare his own daughter the same life of pain. And he wasn't even successful! He's eventually reduced to a replica of a body that will never be capable of holding life again, only grace, the acceptance of which was his first "original sin".

What I'm trying to say is that Mary and Jimmy are repeatedly punished because they brought DEATH and destruction upon their respective families IN PERPETUITY. The more they try to protect their children, the more they seem to damn them. The punishment goes to the point where they can only be "free" once their souls are locked in heaven with their fictional spouses, their actual bodies are completely erased from earth and the threat of their reproduction is forever erased. We only get reproductions of them, copies to burn on pyres so that they would never, ever be able to hold and give LIFE again. The body is ABSENT.

Mary and Jimmy are reproductions (as in replicas) so that they could never again reproduce (as in procreate).

Supernatural is THE show about saturnine sterility if I’ve ever seen one. There can’t be life in this show. Everything must stay recycled, characters can resurrect but never give new birth and, if they do (Hello Kelly Kline Forever), they must die.die.die. Love is okay only if it's lived in the after-life in a prison/suburbia-like Heaven with little boxes on the hillside, little boxes made of ticky-tacky ("And your mom and dad… they got a place over yonder"). Love in the physical realm, on the other hand, well... you can't get that, AND you can't have physical sex. Touch is forbidden.

And this is the reason, I think, why Castiel must also, eventually, die. He’s too closely associated with the desire of creation. He wants to be god, he wants to feel human, he is woman, he is man, he wants to be mother, he wants to be father, he wants to hold grace, he wants to hold life, he wants to give, give, give, he wants to touch too much. Now I’m talking symbolically here (although I believe that, my fantasy or not, this holds true textually too) but there’s too much fertility, too much sex around Cas in a show that’s ultimately about sterility. So he must die.

This is why I’ve chosen the “body without organs” for Mary and Jimmy: it’s both an image of freedom (well, more or less since Heaven is a scam but okay) and an image of pain, of the cost, of the madness behind that freedom. They’re finally “free”, even COMPLETE (!!!) from the narrative once their bodies are utterly destroyed and what lives on is copy of what they used to be and never will be again.

The phrase “Body without organs” comes from “To Have Done With the Judgement of God” by Antonin Artaud:

[…]

They have found a new way to bring out god and to capture him in his microbic noxiousness. This is to nail him though the heart, in the place where men love him best, under the guise of unhealthy sexuality, in that sinister appearance of morbid cruelty that he adopts whenever he is pleased to tetanize and madden humanity as he is doing now. He utilizes the spirit of purity and of a consciousness that has remained candid like mine to asphyxiate it with all the false appearances that he spreads universally through space and this is why Artaud le Mômo can be taken for a person suffering from hallucinations. - What do you mean, Mr. Artaud? - I mean that I have found the way to put an end to this ape once and for all and that although nobody believes in god any more everybody believes more and more in man. So it is man whom we must now make up our minds to emasculate. - How's that? How's that? No matter how one takes you you are mad, ready for the straitjacket. - By placing him again, for the last time, on the autopsy table to remake his anatomy. I say, to remake his anatomy. Man is sick because he is badly constructed. We must make up our minds to strip him bare in order to scrape off that animalcule that itches him mortally, god, and with god his organs.   For you can tie me up if you wish, but there is nothing more useless than an organ. When you will have made him a body without organs, then you will have delivered him from all his automatic reactions and restored him to his true freedom. They you will teach him again to dance wrong side out as in the frenzy of dance halls and this wrong side out will be his real place.

[hekate1308]

There Was Winter’s Cold A Destiel Advent Calendar December 9

Masterpost

Somehow, the last thing that Dean had expected was that Castiel would become so fascinated by the rapidly approaching holidays. For some reason, that had just never crossed his mind. Maybe because – well – he wasn’t human so it wasn’t even his holiday? And then, he had not yet realized that he would indeed be hanging around for quite a while, probably because his guests, at least guests like him, usually moved on pretty quickly. If it was not Sam who somehow got wind of what was going on and “spontaneously” decided to visit, it was probably Crowley who thought they’d stayed long enough and showed up one day. (In the case of the later, they were usually gone by morning).

Where was he again? Right, Castiel and human holiday – as he liked to call them. just another thing he had been watching from the river it appeared, and that eh had never fully understood because they were not meant to, or whatever their old rules said.

Dean didn’t really care, since he ewes here new, and no one could deny that.

And when it came to Christmas, well…

He had always loved the holidays, even when he had been a kid and they had consisted on dad falling asleep on the couch of some motel after rewatching reruns of Christmas specials. There was just something about this time of the year that made him happy, alright? So he liked a bit of cliché Christmas cheer, sue him. And with how his life had turned out – meaning he was currently housing a  supernatural creature – certainly he could not be faulted for wanting things to be happy and bright? Everything else was complicated enough.

But hey, here they were again with Christmas rapidly approaching, which meant that he would be seeing Sam and Jess, and of course there would be the big Christmas party he insisted on throwing every year because he could. Wouldn’t do to let a celebration pass without celebrating now, would it? And he was sure Cas would enjoy it too. Guy was so curios concerning everything human, certainly he could appreciate a nice dinner and meeting his friends... he’d just have to teach him a thing or two about lying, and concerning that, again, thanks to his upbringing --- well, dean wad pretty good at it., so all of that shouldn’t be a problem.

But he was nothing if not careful, so he decided to ask if there were some special rituals or prayers that Cas knew about or that water sprites just liked to keep this time of the year. He might not be able to do water-bending himself, but that didn‘t mean he couldn’t come up with some pretty creative solutions. Just ask Sam what he had fed him as they were growing up.

When he finally did get around to asking him though, Castiel only tilted his head to the side again and finally answered, “No, I don’t think – not the kind of celebrations you referred to, the one one sees on TV. We have different customs… We welcome the tide with a quick prayer, and every harvest moon there is a feast, but… no, not like that.”

Okay then, time to show him some human customs. That was what friends were for, right?

And if there were some other things friends were most definitely not for, like Dean getting lost in their eyes now and then because they really were so much his type it was ridiculous, that was his secret to keep.

Crowley had let him know that he might be on the something but that it could take a while, whatever that meant. It was best not to ask, not with him.

So, really, there was little to do but make sure Castiel had a good time while he was staying with him, and that, Dean could usually provide easily. Granted, normally this would probably have also included him bringing his friend to a bar and teaching him how to flirt because he was really good at that (just ask Charlie) but with Castiel… well…

Look at him. Sam kept telling him that he should find someone to be happy with, and instead here he was, crushing on a guy who could do water make hoops if he wanted.

He could deal with that later, though. He usually did.

For now, he would focus on enjoying this time – this somewhat crazy, strange, unpredictable time in his life that he had been gifted with and that would lead to – he had no idea what.

Yeah, let him enjoy this.

After all, how many people could say they had spent the holidays with a water wraith?

Yeah, at elates it would be an adventure, and he was going to see it through, no matter what. He owed as much to Castiel as he did to himself.

[the-sprog]

Listen I love DCxDP crossovers as much as the next person, but every time I see people write John Constantine offer as a solution summoning something I cringe internally a little bit. John is all up for self-sacrificing and doing things you shouldn't but he does not fuck with other creatures he knows shit-all about.

On the other end, do you know who does fuck with creatures they know shit all about?? And keep summoning things and making deals with things they shouldn't be summoning or making deals with? And also doing this most of the times with the express intentions of dealing with the dead?

The Winchester Brothers.

Where are my season 15 fix-it fics where Dean does not give up, he does not say "oh well Castiel died after confessing his love for me I guess that's it" or where Sam does not say "well my brother died during a run of the mill vampire Hunt -not even because of the vampires but because of a rusty nail. Let me just abandon him forever after everything we've gone through and finally actually listen to him and get myself a family with my blurry wife and random son"

And instead they do again summon something that is completely separate from everything else they've dealt with before and they actually managed to contact Danny who somehow is the king of the Ghost Zone or whatever fucking shit you want. Maybe you can make the empty nocturne! That would be really fucking cool :O so Danny somehow gets convinced to bring back Castiel or Dean or both.

Ok now I'm actually thinking about it.

You can even make it adult Danny by simply following the Supernatural timeline. Danny gets his powers in 2004, when he's 14, the Winchesters start looking for their dad in 2005, and they're... 20 something. Castiel joins the brigade in 2009 (I thought he showed up in season 5 lmao it's been a while since I've watched it), Chuck starts writing the books- fuck I don't know. 2012? Was it season 7? **Looks it up** fuck nope he starts writing when they start, that's my mistake. I meant when does he show up. And that's together with Castiel. Wow. Give me Danny who is an in universe Supernatural fan. He's the prime target audience! Starts reading after he gets his powers because we'll they're ghost hunters but the ghosts are actually evil. So it's fine. And they're fictional anyway so no big deal.

But then Chuck stops writing (end of season 5) and Danny is extremely disappointed.

He doesn't learn the truth until 2018 (season 13) when Jack wakes up The Shadow and consequently shakes the Infinite Realms. Nocturne has to be somehow connected. Maybe they're not The Shadow themself, but a subordinate? Like Frostbite is the leader while the yetis are his citizens. And The Empty is the realm they live in.

Now Danny is slightly terrified because it means all the things that go bump in the night are real. Which is a scary as fuck thought. And also wonders why they've never had hunters in Amity, or why he and the other ghosts are different from the ones in the books.

But he can't really do anything. To help.

Hunters definitely have checked out the town. There's no way they'd fly under the radar. But either there are already hunters INSIDE Amity And they've staked their claim on the town, no outside hunters allowed. Or there's something wrong w the entire place that makes it so that people don't really realize anything is wrong with it. I til they're inside it. But when outside nothing :/ all normal.

I feel like it wouldn't be Dean who summons him though. As much as I love him, they are aware that pretty much only God could pull out Cas and Jack wasn't going to do it any time soon.

But Dean dying like that? No Sam is not going to let his story end like that. But they've pretty much exhausted all options. What's he gonna do? Make another deal w a demon that's going to ultimately make more of a mess? Who's gonna make a deal w a Winchester anyway?

I don't know how Sam would find a way to contact Danny. The Fentons were the first to make contact with the Zone, so the bunker's unlikely to have any resources. Bobby's gone, so that's a bust. He'd have to find something new. Something no other hunter has interacted with, ever.

Again.

Because let's be real. The Winchesters already did that plenty.

Maybe he stumbles upon Amity by accident and sees it as an opportunity, idk.

Sam's kinda more willing to give monsters the benefit of the doubt. They know angels are not all bad, they had werewolf friends, and so on and so forth.

So sure he might start off listening to the Fentons at first, but if he were to interact with Danny (as Phantom ofc) one on one he'd probably see that they're wrong.

Danny would freak out of course. On one hand, fuck man. He's a fan. That's so cool.

On the other, he knows nothing will stop the Winchesters. He's deader than dead if Sam was there to hunt him.

But alas, he'd do anything to help him get his brother (and Cas, as a treat) back. Who's gonna stop him? God? Jack? Idk man I feel like he'd let them have this one lmao. Or still Danny could definitely argue that he's the king of all afterlives, so what he does to his subjects is none of his business (since God (or at least Chuck couldn't) can't interfere w The Empty, only the afterlives he controls. So heaven and hell. Not even purgatory iirc)

[adidegmez]

spn s15 spoilers

s15 ep1(back and to the future)

one last time, the road so far. the demon is funny. i love big brother dean. their lat scene was awesome. we got work to do, this Show is going to kill me. this is the last season. their story will end. probably with a sad ending. i dont want to say goodbye.

s15 ep2(raising hell)

ketch! hi ketch. he knows how to make an enterance. rowena and ketch? rowena cared about jack. amara, i didnt think we would see her. kevin, ive missed you. where is jack, he was in the empty what is he doing now? we started saying goodbyes with kevin. and this will go on. i hate goodbyes.

s15 ep3(the rupture)

i miss crowley. ketch died. They're slowly removing everyone from the story. We're nearing the end. and now rowena. rowena is complicated, i love her. i thought rowena would want sam to kill her so that she could e the queen of hell or something like that. maybe she can return as queen of ell that would e nice. adam is still in the cage. dean, why are you so mad at cas? cant you forgive him? i wouldnt want their story to and like this but dean sam and cas theyre alive. there are 17 eps left. things will go bad. i hope they can get a happy ending, i hope they will all live but i dont think they will.

s15 ep4(atomic monsters)

i thought i saw benny. we got him and lost him in a minute. dean is gorgeous(i had to say it, he is always gorgeous). i love seeing deans smile, sam and cas too but dean is different, he is my favorite. becky, wow, she has a family? i would love to see team free will just doing laundry and talking with eachother without worrying about monsters. im happy for becky. becky youre gonna ruin winchesters life. poor boy it wasnt his fault but if he cant control it he has to die. if only there could be another way. Did Jensen sing the song? If anyone knows the name of the song, can you tell me? dean is hopeful we need that but Chuck is not gone. and he is going to ruin things. he will make the winchesters suffer, just because he enjoys it and doesnt like the winchesters anymore. and thats why i hate him

s15 ep5(proverbs 17:3)

why is sam having those dreams? is Chuck messing with his head? everyone is confused about deans pictures but he looks the same maybe a little bit older but same look. he even has the same hair. sam is the one WHO changed he look very different especially his hair. that doesnt make any sense everyone is suprised at deans not sams? lilith?!! only thing thet can kill the god (except jack i think) is gone. nice there is a link they can use that link. you were never free dean. i wish amara ould help them. maybe se will help them. but they need jack.

s15 ep6(golden time)

now eileen. Chuck is trying to break the winchesters. Dean doesn't seem to care because he's tired of playing Chuck's games and there doesn't seem to be any way they can beat Chuck right now. If they can find a way, Dean will go back to his old self. and they will beat Chuck. together, team free will (2.0 maybe jack will come too). what happened to banes twins. will we see them again? eileen is okay. well at least we have one good thing. Chuck is messing with cas now.

s15 ep7(last call)

dean is amazing, jensen is amazing. i love when he sings. he was happy at that bar, i love seeing him happy. it was good to see him happy in this last season, i hope we can see them happy more. sam cant die. they can beat Chuck but they still need help(maybe jack can help them)

s15 ep8(our father, who aren't in heaven)

they finally remembered adam. i love donatello but i miss kevin. hello rowena! i miss crowley, im glad she is the one whos in charge. i love rowena. adam is out of the cage. eileen and sam could be together. Chuck will kill eileen, right? Dean, you shouldn't still be mad at Cas, we're getting close to the end and you two shouldn't stay on bad terms anymore. i want jack back, when is he coming? okay, i hate Chuck. i used to love him when he was just a prophet but as god no i dont like him. he just watched all of them suffer and enjoyed it. and he is stil hurting them. he is a monster. i like this Michael. thanks to cage and adam he is better now. adam is in a better situation than the others. purgatory, i hope we can at least see benny.

s15 ep9(the trap)

of course chuck was behind all of this. benny is dead. when someone dies in purgatory where would they go? i thought they would born again in purgatory. dean finally forgave cas. No, this ending definitely wouldn't happen. Even if Sam and Dean had turned into monsters, they wouldn't have become monsters. They wouldn't have fought Bobby and Jody. They would have let them kill themselves. Cas is getting the mark. I hope this doesn't end badly like Dean's. jack!!! yes. why is billie doing this? idc Shell bring jack back. and he'll beat god. how can the light be bad? if hes bad, how can there be balance?

s15 ep10(the heroes' journey)

do they have bad luck or something? its Chuck isnt it? i heard some people say, garth didnt named his kid dean because he knew sam would name his kid dean and this makes sense to me. at least nothing bad happened to garth and his family. yeah they cant be normal. it was funny to see them like that but this isnt WHO they are.

s15 ep11(the gamblers)

hi jack! you finally came. my heroes. they are going to save the World. with cas and jack.

s15 ep12(galaxy brain)

I had forgotten about Kaia. Jack now has powers but he won't be able to use them. Kaia will be a problem. i hate Chuck. he is bored so he is destroying worlds. he needs to go. i loved old dean more.

s15 ep13(destiny's child)

when i watched about scoobynatural, i thought team would travel through different universes. for at least one season we couldve just watch them travel have fun save people but no they cant have fun more than one episode. if someone would help jack he can rule instead of Chuck. jack doesnt have a soul but he is good. i wish he had his soul. i loved meg. jack got his soul back, finally.

s15 ep14(last holiday)

i love deans reaction. cant they live like this? they are happy. of course they cant, Chuck wouldnt let that happen. Jack began to speak his father's language:) . dean, the birthday cake was nice. i love them.

s15 ep15(gimme shelter)

dean lied again.first to other kaia now amara. i hope he can keep his promise so he wouldnt be lying. jack will sacrifice himself. hopefully cas will find a way.

s15 ep16(drag me away (from you))

i hate seeing winchesters fight, especially when it's so close to the end. I hope they can be back to normal before this is all over.

s15 ep17(unity)

jack's not family? dean how could you say that he is your kid, he is a winchester. i love amara. i hope jack and amara can spend time with eachother. i hate Chuck. he manipulates everyone. it was Chuck all along. if only dean didnt lie to amara. she was nice she was trying to help but now she is dead. now jack is dying again.

s15 ep18(despair)

i want to say jack cant die but i cant be sure of anything. the story is ending in 3 episodes. billie didnt change she always wanted this. okay jack is alive nice. since this is the ep i can say it. cas will die in this ep and i know it. i knew it for a while i hoped this day would never come but here we are. this will be the day i learn this storys ending. i hate billie too. billie left her toy. does that mean theyll reap god and hell die like that and billie read it so she left the weapon to kill Chuck. i love Charlie. she was happy. eileen is gone. i thought maybe she and sam could be together. i love donna. i love garth. i love jody and the girls. i love bobby. Charlie bobby donna i thought they were safe, theyre gone now. i know how this will end cas will summon empty it will kill death and cas. i hope this wont happen but it will. cas will die. their story will end. cas is gone. and he didnt day goodbye to sam and jack. he saved dean. cas is gone.

s15 ep19(inherit the earth)

what is happening to jack? how can they beat God? how can they win? i hate Chuck. he killed miracle. Michael! adam is gone too. i didnt think we would see Michael again. and i didnt think i would be happy to see him but i am. there may be hope yet. maybe they can do something together. i cant deans reaction to lucifer was funny but i cant laugh. he thought cas was alive he thought he came bak and it wasnt cas he saw lucifer. i never thought we would see lucifer. i love lucifer when he is not serious or when he isnt trying to end the World. so he is good for now. i hate lucifer again. yes! Michael killed lucifer, i cant believe it. Michael betrayed them. i liked him. i cant trust anyone but team free will 2.0. i hate Chuck. i would take that ending, i would. they won but hey lost everything but they won and theyre together except cas. there is still one ep left. and evertones back. this is not the perfect ending because cas is not here but its a good ending. if only it was the end. because they are alive. they live. this felt right but why is there another episode. i hope we just see them grow old and live their lives but we wont. i know we wont. i just wish we could. i dont want to watch next ep. i know that ep broke everyone. i know how it ends. but why this should have been the ending. this felt right it wasnt complete but it felt right. this couldve been the ending why make us suffer more? of course i dont want it to end but if the story ending i would want it to be like this. this i want to say perfect but its not cas is gone but it was okay. im not ready to watch the next ep. but here we go one last ep. their story is ending here.

s15 ep20(carry on)

what happened to carry on? why didnt it play. i wanted just one thing i hope it at least plays in the end. im okay with just wathing them live their life without a big bad guy or something. why? why? why? it was always sam and dean, always. why end it like that? they were happy they were together they were both alive. i dont want to say it but dean is gone. sam is alone. bobby, hi! cas is alive?! that what they deserved as heaven. but dean shouldve had more time with sam. but im not going to complain they all can be together again. tahnks to jack and cas. yes this ending break me but it was beautiful. in the end they are happy and they are together forever. i just wish we couldve seen at least cas and jack.

this story was beautiful 2 brothers together with the help of their frinds and family they saved the World. and they got the ending they deserved it was meant to be like this dean would die and sam would live for everyone WHO died. spn writers i think they gave us a gift with jack, they made heaven a good place they made heaven what it was meant to be. and thanks to them and jack winchesters and everyone we cared about is happy. anyway im glad i witnessed their story for 15 seasons i laughed and cried with them. they mean so much to me all of them.

i dont want to say goodbye so this is a see you later because ill be seeing them. ill always remember them. i love all of them. i love dean sam cas jack bobby mary john kevin Charlie jody donna crowley rowena and the others WHO helped winchesters WHO loved winchesters.

im really happy im a part of this fandom. ill never leave here. im looking forward to see spn stuff. so

see you later

[aylacavebear]

Retribution Chapter 6

Summary: You had DID for most of your life, over forty years, since you were two. It wasn't until after you were forty-three that you were finally able to heal it and become a singular. You're a hunter and have been with Dean for a very long time. Once you become singular, you have to face the horrors that your mental illness subjected on those you cared about, loved. Can you get past seeing yourself as worse than any monster you've ever hunted down?

Pairing is Dean Winchester x Reader/You

Warnings: Talk of DID - Dissociation Identity Disorder (AKA MPD), Mental Health Issues, Alcoholism, Thoughts of deserving to have it all done to "you".

Please, if you suffer from any mental illness, seek help. There are people out there who can help you get through it, no matter how alone you feel now or how hard it may seem.

A/N: This is going to be very dark, darker than anything I've written thus far. It will include many triggers - abuse both sexual and physical - in memories and what happens to the reader. I'm hoping it will have a happy ending but right now, I am not sure where this will go. This is your main warning before you begin reading. A/N: Dreams and Memories are indented in italics. Thoughts are in italics only.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 6 - While You Sleep

Dean leaned down and kissed your forehead before tucking you in, turning off your light, and joining his brother and Cas back in the library. The last month had been hard on all of them. The two weeks you’d been gone had been the hardest. 

Dean had lost so many people throughout his life that he thought that, in a way, he thought he was bad for everyone around him. When you left for those two weeks, though, he realized he couldn’t lose you, too. He also vowed that when he found you, he was going to do everything he could to help you heal your illness.

“Whiskey?” Sam offered, breaking the tense silence as he slid a full bottle across the table for him, which he caught. “She’s at least gonna get some sleep now. How you holding up?”

“I’ll live,” he sighed before taking a decent swig from the bottle, needing to dull the worry still consuming his mind.

“Cas, are you one hundred percent sure that the other personalities are gone?” Sam asked, still questioning it. He’d read up on enough to know that healing wasn’t always possible.

Cas met Sam’s gaze with a steady resolve, “When I looked in on her nightmare, I also looked at her memories from the night she left. They are gone. She was in a dark place. She needs people to give her the chance to trust herself again.”

Sam knew you’d never been like this before, seeming as though you were broken. Even with everything you’d done to his brother and the verbal abuse you had put them both through, seeing you like this was worrisome. Another personality always came out and took over when one got too depressed or emotional. He sipped his beer, considering Cas’s words. 

“She’d different, Sam,” Dean began quietly, fighting tears that had been threatening to fall since he’d brought you dinner. “She’s… softer.” His voice was laced with uncertainty.

He didn’t know how else to explain it. It was just something he felt, and he always had a hard time putting his emotions into words. Unless, of course, it was anger. That was always easy. He sipped the whiskey, trying to think of other ways he could help you.

“How is she gonna be, when she wakes up?” Sam asked Cas, mirroring Dean’s worry.

“Hopefully, not as depressed. There wasn’t a lot I could do for what she has already remembered. I let her have some of the memories, just not as detailed, only a few. She will remember what she’s done over the last month and have a vague idea why. It will give her the time she needs to work through it, very slowly,” Cas explained, glancing toward the hallway where the rooms were, just as concerned for your wellbeing as the brothers.

“I don’t recommend her sleeping in your room yet, Dean. It could trigger memories to come forward too quickly, even after what I did,” Cas added.

All three of them were worried about you. The last month had been completely out of character for when you’d had DID. There were times your personalities would take off, but it typically only lasted a couple of days, and you always answered your phone. They were beginning to wonder if you’d ever hunt again, as that, too, could trigger memories you probably didn’t want to remember.

Dean and Sam remembered, though. Sam couldn’t count how many times he’d traced your phone, finding you in a different motel with some random guy. Dean had told himself it wasn’t the personality that loved him, that she would never do something like that. The one thing that circled his mind was how much of her was left in you. 

“I’d say to stop thinking about it, but I don’t think either of us are going to be able to do that till we know,” Sam sighed, seeing his brother lost in his thoughts again.

“We’ll see how she’s doing tomorrow. For now, I’m just gonna go slow with her,” Dean told him, but there was a sadness in his tone even Cas was able to pick up on.

Dean’s mind wandered back to some of his favorite memories of you.

It was early in your relationship, and you’d had to sleep in the Impala that night, but Dean hadn’t minded. You were wrapped up in his arms, and he could hold you close against him in the back seat. Sam was still sleeping in the front. Dean was awake, though, just watching you sleep. The way your hair fell partially over your shoulder but not in front of your face. How your breathing was slow, like you were in a peaceful, dreamless slumber. Your hand was on his chest over his heart. When your fingers twitched, it made him smile, feeling the movement through his shirt. He watched you inhale deeply, then yawn before your eyes began opening. He rubbed your shoulder gently with the arm he had under you, “Morning, Sweetheart.” “Mmmm,” you hummed as a smile spread across your lips, too sleepy to say anything. “You sleep okay, cramped on this backseat with me?” he asked quietly, not wanting to wake his brother. “I love getting to sleep in the Impala with you. We have to stay close, or I end up on the floor,” you replied, giggling a little as you looked up at him. Dean caressed your cheek, looking deeply into your eyes. This was the moment he realized he loved you, at least this personality of yours. She was always so sweet and caring, and she knew how to laugh at things. You’d been hunting with him and his brother for half a year now, and it was these moments that had meant the most to him. You were a damn good hunter, well, that personality was, but this one had his heart.

“Dean, did you hear anything I just said?” Cas asked him.

“Yeah, sure,” Dean answered. Then he sipped his whiskey, realizing he had gotten completely lost in his thoughts.

Sam’s brows furrowed in confusion, “And your thoughts on the matter are…?” he asked, trailing off at the end.

Dean rolled his eyes, “Alright. I didn’t hear you.”

Cas sighed, slightly frustrated, “Tomorrow after she wakes up. I, was suggesting that perhaps she shower and you help her set up a room that is all hers. Something that has nothing to do with her DID. It might help her.”

“Huh, that is a good idea,” Dean mused, now letting the thought play through his mind, hoping she’d be okay with it. It might even give him a chance to ask you a few things without pushing other things. He did still want answers. He couldn’t hide that tiny flicker of hope that ignited within him, “Maybe it’ll give her a way to start over.”

In a way, that’s what they all felt like you were doing, starting over. The only difference, you were attempting to pick up the pieces of your life that your personalities had left shattered at your feet. You wouldn’t be alone, though. The three of them were your family, and even though the abuse you’d put them through, they all loved you in their own way. 

Dean’s gaze fell on the bottle of whiskey, and a small smile played along his lips for a moment.

“Come on, share,” you begged, reaching over Dean again, trying to grab the bottle of whiskey.

“Kiss me first,” he told you playfully.

The two of you were lying on your shared bed in his room, which was now both of your room. He was on his back, and you on your side. You were watching him while attempting to reach over his chest to his other hand, where he held the whiskey bottle just out of your reach. Dean smirked, loving how playful you were being. “Fine,” you replied, quite playfully, before placing an intimate kiss on his lips.  His other hand moved to the middle of your back, holding you against him as your hand rested on his chest. This was the personality he loved and that loved him. When you went to pull away, he held you closer, smirking against your lips, making you giggle. Music to him.  Dean rolled the two of you over, careful not to spill the open bottle of whiskey before setting it on the night table on the other side of you. He never broke the kiss as his hand came down and caressed your cheek. “I love you,” he said softly, now looking into your eyes. He could see it, the way you felt for him. You were the only one who looked at him like that.  “I love you too,” you whispered, smiling back up at him.

“Dean, are you even paying attention?” Sam asked, wondering where his brother's mind was.

He sighed heavily, “Sorry. What were you saying?” he asked, now looking up at Sam.

“Cas and I were talking about DID. It’s not something that just goes away overnight. Do you have any idea how long or if she had been doing any sort of therapy?” Sam asked, recapping what he and Cas had talked about.

Dean had to think about that before he could answer. He hadn’t seen you doing anything that could be therapy, “Well, I found her alone a lot, with a laptop.”

Cas furrowed his brow in curiosity, “What do you mean, and for how long?”

“Uh, well, she would disappear a lot around the bunker. When I would find her, she always had her laptop open to something but would close it and not let me see. I think for at least the last five years, she was doing that often,” Dean explained, wondering how it would even help.

Sam and Cas looked at Dean, somewhat puzzled, as he hadn’t said anything about it prior to tonight. “And you’re just now telling us about it?” Sam asked, trying not to sound annoyed.

“I didn’t think anything of it before. Some of her personalities did weird things,” Dean attempted to defend himself.

“If she’s been at it for five years, that would make sense as to why it recently happened,” Cas thought out loud, his gaze on nothing in particular.

As the brothers waited for Cas to say something else, Dean’s mind again drifted to his memories.

“But we watched a western last night,” you groaned, seeing the moving waiting to get played on the screen. “Come on, Sweetheart. We can watch something else after. I promise,” he attempted to convince you in that sweet kid way he always did. You rolled your eyes but gave him a playful smile before plopping on the couch next to him and cuddling up close, “You know I can’t tell you no when you get like that. It’s cheating.” You gave him quite the pout, which made him laugh. “Now, who’s cheating?” he teased you, slowly bringing his hand down your arm and to your side. You managed to keep the pout—that is, until he squeezed his hand on your hip, causing you to squeal with laughter. Dean was smiling ear to ear as he brought his other hand to hold you in place the more you squirmed.  “That’s not fair!!” you squealed between fits of laughter as he tickled along your ribs. Dean loved hearing you laugh and seeing you happy and smiling, as they were few and far between those days. He didn’t keep it up long, tickling you before he stopped to let you breathe. You were the one he loved, and your eyes always danced when you laughed. He caressed your cheek as your giggles subsided, but your smile never faltered as he looked into your eyes with utter adoration, which you returned. That look spoke the words neither of you needed to say now.

“I swear, Dean. It’s like you’re not even here,” Sam snapped, pulling him from his thoughts.

Dean sighed, “I can’t help it. What’d I miss?”

“We were talking about what she would have been doing at Crowley’s,” Cas told him, puzzled as to what kept pulling Dean from the conversation.

“She wanted to get Crowley to somehow put her through the same abuse she put us through, for the same amount of time or longer,” Dean told them and shuddered at the thought. “Although, she wanted it done to her tenfold.”

“That’s why you asked me to help her, isn’t it?” Cas asked, finally putting all the pieces together.

“Yeah. It broke my heart to see her in so much pain,” he mumbled, then took another swig of his whiskey. 

Sam sighed, “You’re not going to be much help to her if you go down the same path of self-destruction.”

“I can put my own stuff aside and be there for her when she needs me. I’m only drinking like this because I know she’s gonna sleep all night, and I don’t have to worry about her waking up in tears or trying to take off running again,” Dean told his brother firmly. He’d backed off the alcohol since Cas had brought her back, and he needed this tonight. He needed to relax as he’d been on edge for the last two weeks.

“For the first time in a long time, none of us have to worry about her,” Sam agreed, finishing his beer.

They’d all worried about you in different yet similar ways. Most of your personalities had been self-destructive, which always caused problems for those who cared about you. Like the random men in motel rooms, even when Dean was sound asleep in your shared one. The verbal conflicts they started on purpose, then hid the memory of from your other personalities. 

Half the time, you didn’t even know there was a problem, and they all hated having to tell you about it. If they did tell you, it hurt you emotionally, and that always caused another switch. It was a never-ending pattern that none of them had seen a way to stop without forcing you into a mental hospital. Dean alone wouldn’t allow it. He had stayed firm in the belief that healing had to be your choice.

What none of them could fathom now was why you had chosen to do it all alone for the last five years. That was their biggest question, followed by what kind of person you not only were now but would be once you got through all of this.

“You think she’ll ever hunt again?” Dean asked as if he was lost in a daze again, staring at his whiskey bottle.

Cas turned his attention to Dean, contemplating an answer, “It’s hard to say. Only time will tell now. Let’s get her through this before we worry about that.”

“I can send any cases that come up to other hunters while we stay here to help her,” Sam added.

“Did you update Charlie and Eileen?” Dean asked, finishing off the bottle of whiskey.

“Called ‘em the night Cas brought her back. They wanted to come by, but I told ‘em now wasn’t the time and that I’d keep them posted,” Sam explained.

“Good. We’ll see how she is tomorrow before those two stop by,” Dean chuckled.

Charlie, Eileen, and you had hit it off the moment you’d met and were practically sisters at this point. The downside, a few of your personalities had a thing for Charlie. Charlie had reassured Dean numerous times that nothing had ever happened between the two of you, but he always wondered. That was mostly due to how thick the flirting had gotten, even if it was never physical.

Would you still be into chicks? Dean thought to himself.

“You think those two will still flirt with each other?” Sam chuckled, remembering how badly Dean had blushed numerous times hearing the things that came out of both your mouths.

All he could do was shrug. There were so many things he didn’t know. One of the ones that was burdening him the most was whether or not his Y/N was still a part of you. He wasn’t sure if you’d still feel the same toward him, and that would be worse than if you’d died.

“Dean, you might want to be there, when she wakes up tomorrow. If you’re up for the task, she’ll need a rock to lean on, even if she won’t know how to ask,” Cas told him sympathetically.

Dean sighed, tossed the empty bottle in the trash, then quietly went into your room. For the first time in a long time, you looked peaceful in your sleep. A soft smile crossed his lips as he just watched you sleep for a moment. 

He slipped off his shoes before carefully sliding into bed behind you and snuggling up close to you. Dean let his hand gently move down your arm before he laced his fingers with yours, rubbing the side of your thumb with his.

“I’ll always love you,” he whispered before closing his eyes, hoping he would sleep peacefully next to you for the night.

Sam and Cas stayed up a little while longer, sitting in the kitchen mostly in silence. Sam wanted to believe that the personalities were gone, but something was nagging at the back of his mind. He’d done enough research on DID to know that it ‘didn’t just go away’, even after half a lifetime of in-depth therapy.

Part of Sam hated you for how your personalities had treated not only him, but also his brother and their friends. He kept this from both his brother and Cas, not wanting to make things harder for Dean than they already were.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 7 - Picking Up the Pieces Pt. 1

Retribution Master List

Tag List: @jc-winchester @nancymcl @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx

[howdaretrashships]

Five Lines Fic Meme

Tagged by: @la-muerta Thanks for the tag!

Rules: find five lines in your fic based on the prompts you are given, then change one of the prompts at the end!

A Line You Think Is Hilarious - from Change in Perspective, DFS/LLH|LXY, T, 1.3k

At this, Di Feisheng finally looks back at his companion. His expression on anyone else would be described as a glare. “They would both have you in their bed, if they could,” he grumbles. Xiao Zijin blinks twice. What.

A Sad Line - from the Yingzhu Armor 5+1, DFS/LLH|LXY, M, 11.6k

“So, you’ll just keep looking?” Fang Duobing asks. “Isn’t that madness?” Di Feisheng gives him a wry smile. “Perhaps. But I lived ten years thinking he was dead, and thought I had gone mad then. If I spend another ten looking for him, what difference would it make?”

A Line About Dreams - from To Sleep, Perchance (Not) to Dream, Dean/Cas, Dean/Lisa, T, 882

Sometimes, Lisa would stay up and read, carefully watching Dean from the corner of her eye. It was during one of these times she learned not all of his dreams were violent enough to affect her. He just twitched and grimaced for as long as she was awake.

A Line About Love - also from the Yingzhu Armor 5+1, DFS/LLH|LXY, M, 11.6k

Di Feisheng shakes his head and swallows hard. “He was so fucking frustrating,” bursts out as a half laugh, half sob, and then, “but he was beautiful.”

An Atmospheric Line - from Play Along to Get Ahead of the Scheme, Kinn/Porsche, T, 1.5k

They sit in a semi-comfortable silence for a few moments, Kinn relishing in their closeness despite the water from Porsche’s hair soaking into his shirt, and Porsche relaxing incrementally until most of his weight is supported by his older lover.

Tagging: @bbcphile, @thesilversun, @the-wintry-mizzenmast, @the-surreptitious-albatross, @nutcasewithaknife

Prompts:

A Line You Think is Hilarious

A Line About Mysteries

A Line About Love

A Line About Dreams

An Atmospheric Line

[crazylittlejester]

WAIT YOU HAVE A BIG HERO 6 AU TOO????? YAY

ALKSJSLJD I DO!! IT’S CALLED FIERCE HERO 9, I STARTED IT BACK IN FEBRUARY WHEN I WOKE UP ONE DAY WITH A DESPERATE URGE TO WRITE AND A TRULY AWFUL AND DEPRESSING IDEA 😭 I HAD NO IDEA SOMEONE ELSE DID THIS TOO LMAO, I DID SEE A POST ON THE MAIN TAGS LIKE, idk im bad with time, A WEEK AGO MAYBE?

I think the thought process there was “Haha, man I love BH6” -> “Wouldn’t it be crazy if I killed Wars in a fic?” -> “oh my god….” -> Big Hero 6 AU

I have Wars as Tadashi, Mask as Hiro, and Navi as their Aunt Cas(s) (idk how many ‘s’ are in that)

Wolfie is Baymax! He’s separate from Twilight, and he’s a very good boy. He’s meant to be like, a service animal who will aid with mental health stuff as well as physical health

Legend is Gogo because personality mainly, and I kept his ‘science project’ as the electromagnetic wheels

Twilight is Wasabi, he’s doing something different for a science project, it involves neurotransmitters and goats 😭

Sky is Honey Lemon because that could not have been ANYONE else, and also these are Tadashi’s friends, they’re the ones he’s closest too, so it makes sense for them to be the older members of the chain, yknow?

Fred is a mashup of the others

Hyrule is Legend’s twin, he’s not part of the engineering program, he does graphic design, but he floats in and out so he knows the others pretty well

Wild is Twilight’s foster brother, he’s still a high school student

Wind is also in high school, he’s friends with Wild

Four is Wind’s brother, he’s sort of in the engineering program, he does a lot of work as a teacher’s aid, he serves as a man in the chair. He’s also the one with the mansion (technically Wind is too), and he’s got a lab the others spend time working in

It starts off with just a few characters, but the entire group is involved in the main plot. They’re all there, they gotta work together

I think plot wise I left off at the equivalent of the spot right after the group finds out the guy in the Mask is Callaghan and they spend some time regrouping and hugging it out before the final battle starts? I threw in a few twists and turns so there needs to be a little more that happens before the final battle haha, but I’m working it out currently and I hope to post the next chapter soon 😭

I also have bonus chapters of like, Wild and Twilight’s past, and Hyrule and Legend’s, and a few that could have gone in the main fic but just didn’t fit well in there

SORRY FOR RAMBLING, PEOPLE DONT USUALLY TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS FIC AND IT’S MY FAVORITE THING IVE WRITTEN 😭

If anyone wants to read it here’s a link: