#heck it's not even clear whether it works while in defense position!

[dravidious]

You're more amazing than catchphrases

90% of all Yugioh card effects are either "move a card from one zone to another" or "negate an effect" so I made a bunch of combat keywords so that monsters can actually be interesting on the field.

[crystalelemental]

Unit Teambuilding - Noland

DeNA just hates supports, let’s be real.  I mean sure, it’s a matter of premium support being harder to balance without being overkill, but like...they limit them so the premium fare isn’t easier to skip.  This in spite of Gauntlet.  So good news for Noland, he’s not a support.

General Overview The inevitable comparison here is to Bugsy.  They’re both Bug-type strikers that mega evolve and have garbage move damage.  I talked positively about Bugsy’s grid, stating it did everything Bugsy wanted it to do, and the only real tragedy was Bugsy lacks an EX.  Spoilers: Noland situation is the same.  He got a nice sync multiplier based on what’s buffed in his trainer move, and some really excellent self-sufficiency tools, but lacks EX for the ease of clearing CS.  So the question is...which one is better?

In terms of raw damage, Bugsy.  Bugsy deals better damage with sync and with move damage, in large part due to built-in Crit Strike 2.  Noland cannot keep up with that.  But Bugsy is more support reliant, requiring someone to help with both attack and crit rate, and ideally speed if going with Twineedle.  Which...I go Twineedle.  I know Zinfogel disagrees because Fell Stinger is broadly better damage, and for CS I make that concession, but in Gauntlet the chip poison damage pushes Bugsy far ahead of Noland’s potential and is frankly his main niche when it comes to damage.  So if you want better numbers, Bugsy is better.  If you want more lax teambuilding requirements, Noland.

Or you can give up on self sufficiency and take Adrenaline.  Look, five turns to self-buff is a tall order, and at that pace, you’re just replacing the need for offensive buff support with the need for defensive support.  But Adrenaline?  That’s a niche.  Noland will consistently access second sync on time, while Bugsy will, in many situations, be waiting an extra turn for that explosive damage.  Whether or not this is a huge deal depends on your preference, and the mode you’re playing.  In Gauntlet, maybe it doesn’t make the biggest difference.  In CS, it is literally the difference between life and death.

And speaking of life and death, Noland has better bulk than Bugsy, at the cost of a much worse speed stat.  Noland can take some AoE hits that Bugsy can’t, but also doesn’t facilitate another attacking partner as well.  Ultimately, a lot of this comes down solely to preference.  Mine is to Bugsy, because I like Johto, and I love Beedrill.  Who is Noland?  I never did the Emerald Battle Frontier, I don’t know this man, why is he in my house?

Team 1: Noland, Hop, Nanu/Tech Farfetch’d Hop buffs offenses, Noland buffs speed with his trainer move, Farfetch’d or Nanu debuffs defense for damage.  It’s a quick, easy structure.

Team 2: Noland, Liza, Brawly Why didn’t I think of this one earlier?  Noland can self-buff crit rate with Trainer Move, and Liza can buff his attack.  Brawly packs defense debuffs, and can Potion the team as needed.

Team 3: Noland, Aaron, Teatime Ingo If you really want to just mess something the heck up.  Aaron performs the same role as Hop, but better, because accuracy.  Teatime Ingo debuffs defense with every hit, gives some potential cheese with evasion buffs, and supplies the coveted Bug Zone for Noland’s damage.  Aaron even buffs defenses once he’s done with the offenses, playing to Noland’s specific strength over Bugsy.

Team 4: Noland, BP Morty, Sophocles If you really want Noland’s perfect self-sufficiency, here’s a potential structure.  Morty provides defense buffs and Potion, which you’ll need while moving this slow.  Morty and Sophocles both pack a high flinch rate for opponents that can be flinch locked.  And for Gauntlet, Morty has Confuse, and Sophocles has Paralyze, meaning they are an Uxie-counter team.  Note that Confuse can wear off real fast against Uxie, so the best use is apply then sync right after.  Since that’s Noland’s only means of dealing damage, it works out okay.

Final Thoughts Noland’s good.  As good as Bugsy, at least.  Which is to say, I don’t think they’re all that good.  Bug isn’t a super valuable type to begin with, and without the EX, they lack a lot of staying power in CS.  They’ll be amazing with an EX, but without?  They’re going to struggle a bit.  Noland might be in the better position due to flexibility with his buffing and better bulk for survival, but who can say.  They’re both just kinda good.

[geekgirles]

Better Than I Know Myself

While I, admittedly, have enough songs that I believe would best fit Betrothed by @tipolover22 to create a playlist, there’s this one song I am convinced is perfect to describe Branch’s POV when it comes to his marriage to Poppy:

Better Than I Know Myself by Adam Lambert.

This is an analysis on the song written from the fic’s point of view, so it’s gonna be heavy on spoilers. So I’d recommend you read the story before reading this.

If people asked me why I think this song is perfect, I believe breaking down the lyrics is the best way to explain my point.

It starts out like this:

Cold as ice

And more bitter than a December

Winter night

That's how I treated you

Coincidentally, it starts just like the first arc of Betrothed; getting Branch to let go of his bitterness and start warming up to Poppy. This first verse reflects Branch’s train of thought up until chapter 6:

We all know Branch ignored Poppy, belittled her, was rude to her because of superfluous details like their different upbringings (and yes, I do consider that to be superfluous because they already knew about that when they decided to unite both kingdoms) or superficial traits (i.e. Poppy being pink), during the first few chapters he didn’t treat her or view her as his equal! And judging by how this becomes a source of regret and shame to Branch, it doesn’t seem so crazy to believe he would mention this aspect of their relationship in a song meant to express his true feelings for her.

Then, it comes the second verse:

And I know that I

I sometimes tend to lose my temper

And I cross the line

Yeah that's the truth

Now this focuses more on describing an established flaw of Branch’s,  one he doesn’t display solely on Poppy, although she has been on the receiving end as well.

Branch has a relatively short temper. Simple as that.

He’s lost it at Poppy, especially before their breakthrough; he’s lost it at Mulberry whenever his antics went a little too far (like arguing with Arum in chapter 8, or accidentally bringing up Poppy’s refusal to kiss Branch in chapter 16), he’s, understandably, lost it at Creek (in this case it was a righteous anger, considering Creek’s attempts at getting under his skin or trying to steal Poppy from him)...

And as a result of his temper he crosses the line, something he ends up regretting one way or another. 

When it comes to the times Poppy’s been at the receiving end of his anger, the most notable example would be, no doubt about it, the mandolin. He threw it away when his mind was too clouded by anger to think things through and he came to regret it immediately, not only because it crushed Poppy and only made matters worse between them, but also because it became something that would be brought up ever since.

As for Creek, whenever Branch’s let his words and actions get under his skin, it’s always had disastrous consequences. 

Hadn’t Poppy taken things in stride, destroying the pedestal he built in chapter 10 would’ve made him look like an impatient brute.

In chapter 11 he was so blinded by his hurt and fury he didn’t hear Poppy and Suki approaching just as he punched Creek for taunting him, which led to a very serious argument with Poppy and a whole week of heartbreak for the two.

And, finally, in chapter 19, after finding out Creek tried to kiss Poppy while he was away, he almost killed him. And, as Creek pointed out, had he done it and his marriage with Poppy would forever be tainted by it, since Poppy would never be able to forgive Branch for killing him.

In other words, in this verse he’s acknowledging his flaws and apologising for them.

Now we have the bridge:

I know it gets hard sometimes

But I could never

Leave your side

No matter what I say

Again, if Branch were to sing this to Poppy, he’d be referencing how their marriage is a special case that required a lot of work before they became the power couple we they are today. Because, like all good things, they had to work very hard and compromise to achieve their happiness, but it was more than worth it. However, even if they are in love now, Branch is assuring Poppy that, no matter what, he will always fight for what they have, because he loves her and he can’t go back to living without her. 

Which brings us to the chorus:

'Cause if I wanted to go

I would've gone by now but

I really need you near me

To keep my mind off the edge

If I wanted to leave

I would've left by now

But you're the only one that knows me

Better than I know myself

Leaving aside that they were bound to being together for their respective kingdom’s sake, it is true that, if things between them were really as terrible as Branch originally made them out to be, he could’ve just kept on living his life separately from Poppy. But, despite everything, early chapters and later chapters referencing earlier ones show he had actually started warming up to her long before Poppy finally snapped. In chapter 4 he was momentarily cranky because Poppy wasn’t in bed with him, even silently debating whether pink was a good or a bad colour. In chapter 13 we found out he kept and fixed the invitation she made him (reflecting canon) and started working on a new mandolin for her (and since it was never cleared up just when exactly he started working on it, it wouldn’t be that much of a stretch to believe it happened even before he fell for her). Not to mention, chapter 17 reveals Branch didn’t burn down the invitation because 1) it was customised for him, and 2) when he looked at it he felt somebody actually cared.

Another thing that proves that no matter how bad things get in their relationship Branch would never want to leave Poppy is chapter 12; as soon as he tries to claim she means nothing to him after she rejected him he berates himself for such a lie; she means the world to him. 

The chorus also reflects the special place in Branch’s heart Poppy holds: for a very long time, ever since they became closer, his wife is the only troll Branch allows himself to be vulnerable in front of. One of the best examples would be chapters 20 and 21.

In chapter 20, in contrast to his parents in chapter 12, who had to coax him into opening up about his problems with them; Branch voluntarily opened up to Poppy about Sprite’s situation after bonding together as a little family. In fact, Poppy never tried to force Branch to tell her what was wrong, she just wanted to cheer him up, which then resulted in him lowering his defenses enough to be honest and cry* in front of her. Something similar happened in chapter 21, Branch now trusts Poppy enough to actually let his guard down around her to the point he allows himself to have a panic attack in front of her! Something he hasn’t shown to anyone else! Pre-character development Branch would never!

*It should be noted that, while Branch has cried in front of others before (namely his parents), the amount of times he’s shown his vulnerable side to Poppy easily surpasses this.

The final verse of the chorus is the key: while they still have a long way to go before they can completely see eye to eye, Poppy knows Branch better than most people, even better than his fellow Forest trolls.

There’s also the third verse:

All along

I tried to pretend it didn't matter

If I was alone

This is obviously a part of Prince! Branch’s personality that is entirely faithful to canon Branch, but perhaps it may even be taken up to eleven with the added weight of a royal’s responsibilities on his shoulders.

One of the biggest contrasts between Poppy and Branch in Betrothed is the way they both try to hide their inner struggles from their people; Branch puts on an armor of seriousness and authority thanks to a perpetual scowl and abrasive personality, while Poppy hides her worries behind a positive attitude and a smile. 

However, as a result of their different upbringings, Poppy is more prone to asking for help when things become too much for her to handle, unlike Branch, who prefers to deal with things on his own. He pretends to be able to and prefer to handle the responsibilities and burdens of his status all by himself.

Thankfully, an important part of Poppy’s role in their relationship is showing Branch that he is not alone; he has her now and they are a team. As husband and wife they are in this together. Something it’s very clear Branch is very grateful for.

And then there’s the fourth verse:

Deep down I know

If you were gone

For even a day I wouldn't know which way to turn

'Cause I'm lost without you

This verse,  this whole verse is chapter 12. Hands down.

Because Branch admitted several times throughout the chapter that he didn’t know what to do without Poppy. Just remembering what he loved about her was enough to almost have him breaking down in tears, the longer he was away from her, the grumpier he got; heck, he couldn’t even sleep without her in his arms!

And, just like the song says, this was all in one day! One day without his wife and he became a wreck!

Hang in there, fellas! We’re almost done!

Let’s analyse the fifth verse, shall we? I get kind of dark

Let it go too far

I can be obnoxious at times

But try and see my heart

This verse combines the several hints where Branch acted like he doesn’t think he’s good enough for Poppy due to past mistakes (namely, his line, “I don’t deserve you.” from chapter 20), and the details from his past we have yet to see. Because, hey, this is Trolls with a sped up Broppy and a little extra drama, we are bound to see some dark stuff.

And, finally, we have the sixth verse:

'Cause I need you now

So don't let me down

You are the only thing in this world

I would die without

Because Poppy is his everything. Because she’s the one person he’s always needed by his side, even when he didn’t know it. Because she’s the love of his life. And what better way to prove it than sing it to her?

So, yeah. If anyone were to ask me which song I think would best describe Branch and Poppy’s relationship in Betrothed from the former’s point of view,  I’d say, without an inch of a doubt, Better Than I Know Myself by Adam Lambert.

[aglimmerintheriver]

How to mentally keep baneful spirits out - no tools required AKA How Not To Give A F*** About the Uninvited

You can find so much info on here and throughout the web about negative entities and protecting yourself from them. Just as there is so much info, there are all of these different perspectives on how our energies associate with them. In this post I hope to cover a lot of different perspectives, as well as some creative methods for dealing with baneful spirits and your own defense magic tool set.

Introduction

A lot of mythical creatures are based in energetic truth- the vampire is aligned with the energy vampire, the evil and feared witch (like in the Witch movie) is aligned with the early-Christian understanding of the Wise People. The word Witch came from Wic, which means ‘Wisdom’ in Germanic languages. Think of anything given malevolent or benevolent power in the media, and you can likely tie it to misconceptions about the witchcraft and pagan community.

In Shonda Rhimes’ “Grey’s Anatomy” there is an episode where Dr. Miranda Bailey talks about how her OCD creates negative, scary fears within the mind that feel so real that they become real, but she also says that if her mind can think up and believe in these terrible, scary things, she can also think up positive things that make her feel better about those fears- things that help create a buffer, to save her from being so afraid. I’m completely blanking on which episode this was, if you know please let me know and I’ll add it in. By bringing this up, I want to point to something that inspired me to write this post: that elasticity of our perception and of the power we hold within ourselves being dependent on our awareness of our power.

All of this to say that this is not a post created for someone experiencing demonic intrusion. I may or may not have experienced this kind of interaction and if I have, I was simply saved by calling on Jesus (holy freaking heck did not expect the Christian god to help me out but he did) and asking that he save my soul from the attack. If you are under demonic attack or believe that you are, please consult a shaman or a witch who knows how to deal with demonic power. My understanding of demons is that they were the very first spirits here, and so they are the oldest of the old and have a lot of power. That’s not to say your power stands no chance against them, but if you feel overwhelmed by the spirits you’re facing, a lot of the times it is helpful not just for our spiritual protection but also for our perception of how safe we are to call on someone outside of us for help- whether that be a deity or other type of spirit we revere as having badass protective strength or another human we believe can help protect us/banish whatever’s in your sphere.

Perception and Reality

What we believe is what we see. Another way to phrase this is, ‘Where the mind goes, your energy flows”, a very famous phrase within the spiritual community (I believe it has Buddhist origins but not sure of who said it first). This is why a lot of witches are recommended to meet with a therapist or psychologist regularly to ensure our mental health is strong. A lot of people within our community believe that mental health creates spiritual gaps wherein baneful spirits can creep in and target us, but others believe that the cause of mental problems is our spiritual health itself. I’m in the camp of believing mental health is important no matter how you see the correlation- taking care of your brain is just as important as keeping up with the rest of your practice. 

Another aspect of protection and magic is not just ‘what we see’ but how. To bring in a little cognitive function theory, someone with extroverted intuition (or Ne) would likely see a situation and the world from twenty or more different lenses. This is like viewing the world through a multi-faceted crystal and being able to look at all these different crystal-edges and see a different distortion. And that’s really what our view is mostly, because it is nearly impossible to go around living your life and be able to see everything EXACTLY as it is. It’s just not reasonable to think you’re going to be able to have a clear lens every time. If you do and if you’ve developed that, please share how you did and help me figure that out haha, but until then I’m going to work with my understanding that our perception is going to have some type of illusion to it.

And here comes what this post has been leading to- the thing I’m excited about. The Imagining, and the power in that imagining. This is mental craft.

The You-Shaped Perception

In focus meditation you’re told that attention to the breath or to one sensation is important, because you’re narrowing your cannon-sized attention to the size of a pinhole. In much the same way, mental magic is about not just changing your lens, but also how you use that lens.

You       can.         do.            Anything.

It’s true. I mean, within physical means, right? You’re only going to fly if you know how to build mechanical wings, so this isn’t some offhanded promise meant halfheartedly. Nope, I mean this with all of me.

The mind is our friend and our enemy. I’m not even a big fan of meditation and yet I know that. It’s that changeable lens we see things through and how we think of them.

Our mind, my friend, is our power.

In speaking of the mind, I am not just thinking about your brain matter, or your reason, or whatever. I’m talking intention (leading to manifestation) and conscious attention to changing our thoughts.

Think something long enough and you start to believe it. Don’t like your thoughts, or how you feel? What thought or visualization would help you feel better?

There are rabbit holes we fall into where we either can’t control our thoughts and feelings due to mental illness and other times when we just don’t want to control them. Sometimes it feels good to be swept away by our own ocean of emotion and madness. It’s part of being human. The former situation (with the rabbit holes) is likely to be helped by a mental health professional and possibly some anti-depressants. The latter can  a p p a r e n t l y  be helped by meditation. 

(Also, did you know that meditation helps grow the gray matter in your brain? Sitting down and just watching your thoughts pass like clouds, allowing your body to rest, opens you up to expanded compassion, self awareness, contemplation, and helps your memory. If anyone is interested in practicing this, I’m going to be working through this free online MBSR/Mindfulness course in the hopes of helping my depression and my powers of intention- it looks like a great resource especially during this time of political and global tension. I believe our souls are deeply connected to one another and also to the overall soul of the world. Everything that happens in it is something we collectively experience and all of the stress along with this social isolation that the majority of us are experiencing is incredibly traumatizing. I highly recommend checking this out and seeing how it affects you over a few weeks’ time: https://palousemindfulness.com/ )

The point I’m trying to make here is that 98 times out of 100 times, YOU control your perception. And that’s a very empowering and creative thing. Especially when you identify as a witch 😄

gif of Joaquin Phoenix as the joker with a smiling mask on, then pulling up the mask and grinning.

DAMN TABITHA JUST GET TO THE POINT ALREADY

Okay okay. Here’s my point.

You can use creativity in your craft. You know this already. But you don’t need a book of spells (they’re fun to read though) and you don’t need the latest books on psychic magic. You can seriously just use your magical brain.

Intention is everything. Your natural intuitive powers are where your strength lies- I’d say it’s the key to unlocking whatever the heck you want in life. 

Look at your life like it is a children’s story book or movie, alright? It sounds stupid but please stay with me if you made it this far, because I think this is where it gets good. You know how the main character faced this seemingly impossible task or challenge, and they didn’t know how they’d do it but they did it anyway? Things just worked out for them, either because they did some work to help meet their goal and they fought to believe in themselves, or because the writer(s) wanted to throw them some tools that would help them easily get their goal.

You’re the main character and you’re the author of your story. And not only are you the author, but you’ve got all these spirits helping you co-author what unfolds in your life. So it doesn’t matter if there’s a damn fire-breathing knife-throwing monster standing on top of you while you sleep because in your witch brain, all you need to do is say “I am stronger than you will ever be. I am the apex predator” and watch that nasty bugger fucking deflate.

What is the most empowering thing is realizing that you are worth fearing, yourself.

Now this isn’t an excuse to take on a bad-bitch persona and mess your life up. Don’t go around hexing people willy nilly, please. Don’t think you can conjure a demon and be able to control it.

Just know that you can control yourself and the space you’re in. Cause you a badass, bitch.

An actual example from my real life

I have a little known disorder called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. Essentially it’s scary AF because I have dislocations on the daily and they’re painful and honestly, it’s the bane of my existence. 

That’s not even exaggerating haha.

So along with it comes a lot of second guessing self worth, because of how it’s perceived and how I’m perceived because I’m a lady with EDS. The questions I’ve fielded, the conversations I’ve had, the experiences I’ve had to deal with as a result of it are utterly ridiculous (sometimes, downright despicable). 

One day I was talking to my therapist about self-perception and not feeling strong enough to face life with my handicap, and she asked me to point out the strengths it’s encouraged in me. I was able to point to a few things and while I did, I could see Brigid beside me and this oak shield forming around my body, and I imagined that every word I spoke, every good quality I have grown from having my disorder, made that shield stronger.

There are the times when I rabbit hole and I forget what that armor means and looks like. I forget that it’s there. But inevitably, something happens that would normally feel like it was undermining me and instead, I remember that oak shield and Brigid’s protective, loving energy, and I remember how expansive it feels to see myself as being worth this life and as having valuable traits to offer to the world. That’s when I see that shield again.

As you can see this isn’t only for spirits, but it applies even in those situations too. I’ll detail my channeling session that ended with calling on Jesus another time haha as this is getting quite long. To wrap this up:

TL;DR: “How not to give a f*** about unwanted spirits”

- Decide not to give a f***

- Decide what you will give a f*** about

- Find a couple practices for protection that you like and stick with them

- Know what clairs you have that are strongest (and if none feel that strong right now, that’s perfectly normal. Don’t put pressure on yourself, just enjoy exploring how your intuition works and pay attention without obsessing (or try not to obsess anyways). You have time to experiment with intuition, I’ll try to find some good sources for this and write something for those of you frustrated with figuring out where your skills lie or how to use them.

- Know that they’re working, that you’re a freaking badass witch, and that nothing can come into your space without earning your wrath (which can just be a GTFO and a call on your fave deity if you like)

A lot of the time, spirits who show up don’t actually have any dominion to stay. You have the power. You own the space, you own YOUR space (the space of your body). So own that you own it and do it with certainty. Feel the POWAH haha.

Sources mentioned:

https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2011/01/eight-weeks-to-a-better-brain/

[staywhelmedbatfam]

Impromptu Valentine

~Dick Grayson/OC~

Summary: No one should be ditched on Valentine’s Day. Written for the 2019 Valentine’s Contest on Wattpad.

First of all, credit to @evinist​ for the picture shown above. Second of all, I only used an OC because I submitted this into the Wattpad contest listed in the summary. I fully encourage you to ignore the name and insert your own! Third of all, I wrote this based on the two pages of DC Comic’s Young Romance: The New 52 Valentine’s Day Special shown below.

Also, I’m sorry for the amount of pictures mixed in with this... lol.

“Whether we deserve this or not, whether these turn out to be the darkest days of our lives or the brightest happiness, we’ve been guided by love. How can we go wrong when we’re guided by love.”

– Morgan Parker

Before she’d gone to work that morning, Delia laid out the outfit she was going to wear for her date tonight. She picked out a merlot colored dress with black lace that stopped around near the knee and paired it with some black heels that had a bow. Her date was supposed to pick her up at seven, but she’d managed to finish getting ready a little early. When the time rolled around, he hadn’t shown up yet.

“He’s just running late,” she told herself and sat down on the couch to wait.

Digging her phone out of her purse, she played a game and went through emails while watching the clock. Ten minutes passed, then another ten. At that point, her shoulders drooped and she slumped into the couch.

“I’ve just been stood up… on Valentine’s Day of all days.” She paused a moment before declaring, “What a jerk!” The guy who was supposed to be her date had been the one to ask her out. Unfortunately, the two of them worked in the same office building, albeit on different floors. Although, it was a small building so she wouldn’t be surprised if she saw him in passing.

Pushing herself off the couch, she shrugged on her peacoat and left her apartment. Delia climbed up the stairs to the roof of the building and roughly shoved open the door, fuming enough that the freezing cold temperature against her bare legs didn’t even faze her. Upon reaching the ledge, she cleared a spot of snow to place her hands on it and released a sigh.

This spot had a great vantage point to look out at the city, especially when the sun was setting. Seeing the lights of the city at night was a close second though and what she’d have to settle for tonight. Either way, it always had a way of calming her down. Someone cleared their throat, causing her to jump and make Delia aware of their presence behind her.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t think anyone would be up here,” she said, warily as she took in the masked figure after turning to face him.

He waved the apology off. “No reason to apologize. I’m sure you live here. I was just using the rooftop to wait on someone who never showed.”

“You too?” The man raised an eyebrow as she let out a brief laugh and turned back to face the skyline. “I was supposed to be out on a date right now… Well, you can see how that ended.”

A sour smile graced her lips which soon disappeared when a gloved hand stretched out towards her. She hesitantly reached out to shake it.

“Nightwing.” This guy was Nightwing? Delia had heard of the vigilante before but had never seen him until now.

“Delia Kolter.”

He grinned. “Since neither of us has valentines, would you like a pizza my heart?” She gave him a confused look until he kneeled to pick up a pizza box and opened it up to reveal a heart-shaped pizza.

Laughing and shaking her head at the ridiculous pun, she replied with one of her own. “That pun was really cheesy, but why not?”

“And she makes puns! Something else we have in common!” Nightwing stood from his kneeling position and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “This looks like the beginning of a very punny friendship.”

“It’s pretty cold out, do you want to come in?” she offered.

Even though his suit was insulated and the cold wasn’t bothering him, he remembered seeing her bare legs earlier when she walked onto the roof and agreed. She had to be freezing. If he had a blanket or something, he would have given it to her by now.

By the time the two pizzas were diminished down to a couple slices, the clock read 10:30. The two of them enjoyed each other’s company and could’ve let the night drag on if Nightwing didn’t have to get back to his patrol.

“We should do this again sometime. See you later, Delia,” he called out right before he used one of the windows to leave her apartment.

“Bye!” she shouted after him as she stood at the window, hoping he could still hear her. Delia watched him swing out to the next rooftop before he disappeared from her line of sight. The man was fast on his feet, that’s for sure.

Thinking back to the conversation on the roof, she remembered one thing that he said. This looks like the beginning of a very punny friendship. It bothered her. At the time when he said it, it didn’t matter all that much. In the three hours that she’d spent with him, she realized that she wanted more than just a friendship. He was sweet, charming, and made her laugh a lot. He was everything she looked for in a guy and more.

Suddenly, she saw him return and stop right outside the still open window. In a split second, he took her face into his hands and kissed her. She closed her eyes and returned the kiss. Nightwing pulled away.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Delia.” He smiled at her and then took off into the night again, leaving her dazed and wondering what the heck just happened.

***

That day stood out in her memory as if it had just happened yesterday. It’s been exactly a year since then. What surprised her the most during that time was how often Nightwing stopped by to see her. It didn’t matter where she was either. He always knew where he could find her. Although, the visits to anywhere other than her apartment were usually short due to a lack of assured privacy.

The two of them had grown very close over the course of that year. Neither one of them put a label on their relationship, too nervous to bring it up to the other. So, yes, this was one of those times when she had to tell people ‘it’s complicated’ if they asked about the man she’s always gushing about. Her closest friends finally gave up when month three came along and also stopped asking for his name. They wouldn’t have believed her if she told them anyway.

Despite the fact that they hadn’t officially defined their relationship yet and Delia had no clue who Nightwing was under the mask – and wonderfully form-fitting suit – the time they spent together felt like they were dates. Who kisses their friend hello, goodbye, and just because? They’d get cozy together, huddled up on her couch while watching TV. When her birthday came around, he even bought her jewelry. No, not the kind that sits on a shelf or in the middle of an aisle at a department store. The kind that gets put in a locked display case and all sorts of alarms go off if someone were to break the glass of said display case.

A knock on her door brought her out of reminiscing about the past year, urging her to stop folding laundry and go see who it was. After pulling the door open, a man she didn’t recognize stood before her with flowers in one hand and the other curled into a fist.

“Hi, can I help you?” Delia was on the defense. There was no telling what he could have been hiding in his fist. Her mind ran wild with different possibilities of things that could be concealed in a fist that could potentially harm her – a paring knife, a razor blade, a… ring? What? The man held a ring between his forefinger and thumb while bending down on one knee.

“Delia,” he started off. This freaked her out even more. How did this guy know her name? “Love will take us where we’re supposed to go, good or bad. I know we’ll be okay either way because it’s the path meant for us. I love you and that’s why I’m making this promise to one day kneel in front of you again, my Flamebird.” That nickname made her freeze.

One night, she’d asked Nightwing how he’d chosen his name and he told her the Kryptonian tale of Nightwing and Flamebird. Following that conversation, he started calling her his ‘Flamebird.’ It all made sense now and this person in front of Delia was no longer some creepy guy that showed up at her door.

Eyes widening, she pulled him into her apartment and shut the door. “Okay, first of all, not the best conversation to have in the middle of the hallway when my neighbors like to be nosy and second,” she stopped talking in favor of grabbing his face and connecting her lips to his. “It’s nice to know the face behind the mask, but may I have a name?”

He grinned at the response and answered, “Richard Grayson. Although, most people just call me Dick.”

“Well, Dick Grayson… I love you too.” A twinkle abruptly appeared in her eyes. “Does this mean we can finally go on dates outside of my apartment?”

“Absolutely. I actually have a family dinner coming up this weekend, would you want to go… as my girlfriend?”

“Of course!”

***

The day of the dinner arrived and Dick parked the car in front of a mansion. Her jaw dropped at the sheer size and exterior elegance of the home.

Dick rang the doorbell and when the door opened, a butler greeted them, “Welcome back, Master Dick. Miss Delia, it’s lovely to meet you. We’ve heard so much about you.”

“Delia, this is Alfred.” She gave a quick hello before Alfred ushered them both inside out of the cold. He led them towards the kitchen, a heavenly scent filling the space and ingredients laid out on the marble countertop.

Her boyfriend took a seat at the island, encouraging her to follow suit, and then inquired, “Where’s Bruce?”

While answering, Alfred never looked up from the cutting board where he was dicing vegetables. “Master Wayne had to answer an important business call just before you arrived.”

She snapped her head in Dick’s direction. “You didn’t tell me your dad was Bruce Wayne,” Delia whispered harshly, nerves rapidly kicking in. He’d only told her first names on the way here and when Alfred said ‘Master Wayne,’ she put two and two together.

“You’ll be fine, trust me,” he reassured. Sure enough, he was right and the evening ended on a good note.

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Ideal Sewing Machines

Below on our homepage, our experts've rounded up our preferred comprehensive entertainers. Our team'll launch them to your in our extensive testimonials, and also provide you some tips on locating your ideal device in our getting resource.

Certainly, sewing is actually barely a one-size-fits-all pursuit, as any seamster or even dressmaker knows! That's why our experts've likewise generated bunches of specific manuals for factors like quilting, adornment, and also other much more particular needs. You'll discover our special quick guide for beginners, our preferred youngsters' designs, and a lot more.

Allow's put the pedal to the floor and get going along with our Top Three all-time preferred versions!

To come up along with just three recommendations advantageous stitching devices on the market place right now was a tough proposition without a doubt! There are manies versions out there, and while we're as fussy as may be concerning distributing "great" labels, it is actually difficult to get the market place down past twenty standout models without leaving behind a few champions responsible for.

While our company definitely really love Brother machines for making quilts, as an example, our experts definitely would not use much of all of them for leatherwork. There are actually some definitely fantastic making quilts machines on the market, however they're certainly not what our company will encourage for individuals that really want to make an effort expensive needlework work.

With that said in thoughts, our experts've included all our several favorites in our even more particular quick guides, as well as made an effort to narrow down the area to the most effective all-purpose alternatives for the general needleworker listed here on our homepage.

Below, you'll find extensive customer reviews of our Top Three. We've selected a design for beginners and also budget-shoppers, a version that our experts think is best for intermediary needleworkers and also passionate hobbyists, and also one fee model for a working pro or even other asking for hand.

After our principal testimonials, our company've included a couple of "observe also" states that we presume it will be wrong to omit. They're the very best place to appear if you're looking for our absolute least expensive and outright nicest recommendations, or for our beloved "traditional", all-manual selection.

Since we've acquired everything out of the way, permit's meet our beloved all-purpose embroidery devices!

Best stitching device reviews

Brother cs6000i

This Brother is really one of the most popular machine on the marketplace immediately! Unlike a ton of various other very successful versions our experts've stumbled upon, however, the cs6000i deserves its own marketshare.

It is actually user-friendly, jam-packed with features, and also remarkably robust for the ~$ 150 cost array. Our experts assume it's an outstanding very first maker for novices, or a budget friendly choice for knowledgeable people that do not intend to invest way too much amount of money.

Pros:

It is actually sunlight and small. If you don't have a dedicated workstation, or if you're travelling to courses, this is actually a wonderful option. It's very easy for people of all ages to lift as well as it's compact sufficient to get in the auto or cabinet with no trouble.

It's incredibly highly effective for a low-cost, mild device! This has no trouble confiscating atop thicker materials, and it can take care of much larger jobs without issues.

Just as long as you get the best needle and velocity coupling, it's flawlessly capable of sewing split denim and also other challenging materials. That's not the case along with the majority of devices at this rate, especially the electronic styles!

The computer comes pre-loaded with 60 different stitch choices, including some decorative possibilities. There are specific choices for making quilts, monogramming, and various other even more customized duties, along with versatile stitches

There are stitch representations right on the front of the maker, thus you do not must scroll through menus or even speak to the guide to discover the one you desire. The straightforward display is much easier to navigate than a ton of bigger pcs, as well!

The circuit board additionally establishments sew styles for 7 various designs of buttonholes, plus all of them call for just one step!

It is actually an exceptionally easy to use workstation. Bobbin threading is a breeze, with the help of the jam-resistant, quick-set bobbin system. That is actually one of our favorite Brother functions.

You do not must angle for bobbin threads, and also it makes one of sewing's trickiest bits quick and easy and straightforward for any sort of skill level, along with helpful layouts printed on the maker.

The other Brother function our team adore is the automatic needle threading. All you need to do is actually press a switch, and also the maker will nourish the string by means of the needle on its own. Even threading the machine is made easier, because of the useful representations published on the body

It is actually very effortless to switch feets too!

This is actually a value-packed version. Besides being a fantastic device for the price, it features a considerable amount of add-ons:

Our experts're your brand new favored source for the absolute best evaluations, headlines, and also purchasing quick guides in the remarkable planet of stitching devices! As your embroidery maker professionals, our company carry years of experience and know-how to the table. Our experts'll assist you via your following purchase, whether you're selecting out your initial device ever or even upgrading to a specialist utility vehicle model.

For right now, suffice it to claim that our experts're as unbiased as may be when our experts review stitching equipments. Rather, our company come close to every machine as zealous needleworkers and also total sewing geeks!

buttonhole foot

overcasting feet

monogramming feet

zipper foot

zigzag feet

careless stitch feet

button-fitting foot

walking feet

spring-action quilting foot

accessory pouch

needle set

twin needle

spool pins

3x bobbins

cleaning comb

seam knife

screwdriver

eyelet punch

electrical power wire

operation guide

hard defensive situation

extra-large desk

That's a heck of a lot of market value for something in the $150 variety! You possess all the needles and feets you require for the majority of tasks straight out of the box. Additionally, having an expansion table and also spring-foot make this much better for growing as well as budget plan quilters than other inexpensive styles.

Whether you're a beginner that desires a device with room to develop or even a seasoned needleworker who wants one thing extremely versatile as well as cost-effective, the Brother is extremely well-appointed.

It's also refreshingly simple to pack away! Other than the desk and situation, you can store all your add-ons in the upper arm of the device. Given that you possess a hard case straight from the start, this is likewise an ideal machine for offering training class or stashing tightly in wardrobes.

The stitch assortment as well as distance changes are all digital, with simple up and down arrow regulates to produce changes. You likewise possess a slider to adjust the stitch rate on the machine on its own. Foot pedals at this cost may not be the absolute most sensitive (featuring the Brother's), in order that is actually a pleasant override to must palm.

It comes with both a shoe pedal and a push-button stitching method. You may stop and also start stitches utilizing either input system. We like that you may choose what is actually absolute best for you, or use the pedal at home and the buttons on the go!

The Brother's versatility is truly impressive at the rate as well as dimension of the equipment. It is actually suitable for garment job, quilting, and home projects. There is actually likewise a cost-free branch for cylindrical things

It lasts a very long time if you're cautious to comply with the maker, and comply with instructions just before you start sewing. Regardless of whether you're experienced, you must positively begin by reviewing the entire handbook and also trying each feature, because it doesn't work like various other devices.

Most concerns are absolutely preventable so long as you take the time to be familiar with your equipment!

And also, if you do not read the manual, you might miss out on the Brother's smart components under the hood, like establishing a private top speed for stitches, and also performing various other personalizations that are going to create the maker more pleasing for you to utilize!

It comes with a 25-year manufacturer's warranty, as well as life-time phone support.

Cons:

Considering that it's digital, this isn't an excellent device for novices to learn method with. Have an appeal at the Janome Magnolia listed below if you're acquiring into needlework for the 1st opportunity as well as would certainly instead build your abilities prior to you take computer faster ways! If you desire to dive right into producing as well as repairing, you'll enjoy the Brother!

Brother  devices have factory-set stress. If you possess issues, there is actually not a very easy technique to make manual tweaks. That's one of the negative aspects of computerized models in general.

The automatic needle-threading component may take some obtaining made use of to if you're coming from one more maker. Luckily, if you have not used another make or even style previously, you will not possess anything to un-learn!

If you're the kind of individual who obtains annoyed by personal computer systems, you'll desire to steer clear of the Brother and also opt for a Janome Magnolia.

It's really straightforward, but you can still face problems. For folks that have actually had one maker for a long times as well as are actually migrating to the Brother, our experts do have one alert: yet if you do not take the time to understand the machine or even produce some improvements to the technique you work, you can easily enter difficulty along with damaged parts as well as considerable amounts of frustration. Count on us-- it's worth tweaking your operations somewhat in advance, since present day machines enjoy this one have a lot to offer in the long run.

Like a great deal of economical machines, it possesses a combined dependability record. The Brother carries out have a considerable amount of plastic parts, as well as it's not the most tough machine on the market. We would certainly advise going with some added guarantee coverage at the check out.

Most of the times, concerns along with these equipments are actually down to either user error or even quality control. Quality assurance is actually one powerlessness on these, so test yours away from package as well as ensure to examine it properly just before your return home window is up.

Janome DC5100

The Brother's flexibility is really exceptional at the cost and measurements of the equipment. Brother makers have factory-set pressure. For folks that have actually possessed one equipment for years and also are migrating to the Brother, our company do possess one warning: yet if you do not take the time to obtain to know the equipment or even help make some improvements to the method you function, you can easily receive into difficulty with broken parts and also whole lots of disappointment. Trust our team-- it's worth tweaking your workflow somewhat up front end, given that contemporary machines like this one have a great deal to deliver in the lengthy operate.

The Brother performs possess a lot of plastic parts, and also it is actually not the very most sturdy equipment on the market.

[timeoutforthee]

Like It or Not-Chapter 20

Taglist: @itsausernamenotafobsong, @sea-blue-child, @iaminmultiplefandoms, @princeanxious, @uwillbeefoundtonight, @zaidiashipper, @arandompasserby, @levyredfox3, @falsett0, @error-i-dunno-what-went-wrong, @scrapbookofsketches, @podcastsandcoffee, @helloisthisusernametaken, @amuthefunperson, @michealawithana, @yamihatarou, @heck-im-lost, @unlikelynightmareconnoisseur, @idkaurl, @bubblycricket, @fnp-alizay, @neonbluetiefling, @comicsimpson, @a-little-bit-of-ace

Summary: Logan, Patton, Roman, and Virgil are all struggling in their recovery. Their doctors, Thomas Sanders and Emile Picani think they can help each other out.

Aka Group Therapy AU

Trigger Warnings:  purging (skip from "why did he bother?" to "are you okay?"), reference to child abuse

Read it on AO3!

“How’d your session go?” Violet asks. She always asks, as soon as Virgil shuts the door to the car, before he can put on his headphones. He never answers with anything besides-

“Fine,” he says, immediately pulling out his iPod. Then he pauses.

Violet glances over at him as they pull out of the parking lot.

“I mean…,” Virgil wants to put it off. A part of him wants to think that if he puts it off enough, he might just forget. But he knows better.

Like a band-aid, he tells himself, Just rip it off.

“It went better than the last session,” Virgil admits.

“Really?” Violet asks, trying to keep her tone steady, “What happened last session?”

A part of her tells her not to press, that it’s going to end in a growl and silence, but instead Virgil sighs.

“I told Dr. Picani about Dad.”

“Really?” she still keeps her tone steady, though she’s having a much more difficult time now.

“Not everything,” Virgil says quickly, “But you know...I told him that Dad used to hit me.”

Violet thinks back. She doesn’t think Virgil has said those words out loud to anyone, ever. Not even her, even though she obviously knew.

“I haven’t told anyone else, not even the guys in group, maybe I will eventually, but I-” Virgil cuts himself off, shoving his iPod back in his pocket. If he was going to do this, he had to commit.

“I still don’t like to tell people,” he admits, “Like it was the secret I had to protect, to take to the grave, and now there’s no point.” And it’s my fault.

Violet’s heart twists at how loyal Virgil still is to his dad. She knows how hard it is to walk away, to stay away, to realize they let you down, and in such a cruel way. A part of her brain latches on to “to take to the grave,” and she wonders if Virgil was planning on that being soon.

“It’s amazing you felt comfortable enough to tell him,” she says, tucking all that away for now.

“I wouldn’t call it amazing-”

“I would,” Violet says, immediately, offering no room for argument.

“So, you said this session was easier, what did you talk about this time?”

“Goals, mostly,” he says, “And Roman was talking about his brother, about how he was trying...and it kinda made me think about you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah...look,” Virgil tugs a hand through his hair. “I know you’re trying. A lot harder than should be expected of you, and I...I really appreciate it. Even though I don’t show it. It’s just...hard for me. It’s hard and I don’t know why.”

“I appreciate you saying that,” Violet says, “But the thing I want you to understand is I want to try this hard, whether it “should be” expected or not, you’ve been through a lot-”

“It wasn’t that bad-”

“You’ve been through a lot,” she repeats, using her “I’m not fucking around” voice, “And...I could’ve made it easier all those years ago, and I didn’t,” she swallows, still attempting to keep her voice even. The last thing Virgil needs is for her to start crying on him, “And I can’t go back and fix that. The best thing I can do now is be here for you, when you’re ready.”

They pull into the apartment complex and she glances over at Virgil. He finally tears his eyes away from the front window and looks back at her. They sit there a second, and Virgil smiles at her.

“Thanks,” he says, simply, and with that, they head upstairs.

^

He should have said no, he should have said no, what the fuck was he thinking-

“Roman, are you okay?” Max asks, as he climbs into the driver’s seat.

“Fine,” his voice shakes.

Max thought it would be a good idea to go out for dinner, since everyone at home had probably already eaten. Roman was also pretty sure this was his form of an apology for their previous conversation, so how could he say no? He thought he could handle it, he had handled the pizza before. He’d probably find something on the menu that was at least a bit healthy.

But when the food came there was just so much of it. He felt like everyone was staring at him. He should have saved some, but he was just so hungry. He could feel everyone’s eyes staring at him while he ate, he must have looked like an animal.

“Are you sure?” Max asks, “You barely ate anything during dinner.”

….what?

“I just...don’t feel so great,” Roman says. It’s not a complete lie. His goal for the week flashes in his head, but he can’t do that. Not yet.

“Okay, well,” Max says, pulling out of the parking lot. “We’re only about fifteen minutes from home.”

Thankfully, those fifteen minutes pass quickly, and when they get home, Roman bolts up the stairs to the bathroom.

He’s sweating. He can still taste it on his tongue, and it fills him with regret. Why did he bother?

A thought comes to him. He has to get rid of it. He has to.

Before he can think about it too much, he turns to the toilet and shoves his finger back his throat. The response is almost immediate.

Better is not the word Roman would use to describe how he’s feeling. Gross is probably more accurate, but to be fair, he felt gross before, too. So, this scenario was definitely better.

“Ro?”

Oh, shit.

“Are you okay?” Max calls, because of course it’s fucking Max. “I thought I heard you throwing up.”

Roman flushes to give himself time to think. Then he washes his hands to stall even longer. Then he pauses for just a little longer, hoping he can maybe wait him out. But, nope, when he opens the door, Max is still standing there.

“Are you okay?” he repeats, his hand going to Roman’s forehead. Roman shoves his hand away.

“Who are you? Mom? I’m fine,” Roman says, trying to brush it off quickly. “I guess the food just wasn’t that great.”

“...oh,” Max says, as if he’s disappointed, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Roman says, trying to reassure him. “It happens.”

“You’re right, it just sucks,” Max says, turning back down the hall. He’s about to disappear down the stairs when he pauses and turns around, “But you’re sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” Roman says, smiling.

^

Here’s the thing: Patton loves everybody. And he doesn’t get hung up on shallow things, like appearances. He loves everybody, and he loves everybody’s body. Whether they were thin or fat, or tall or short, covered in freckles or clear-skinned, he thought everyone was beautiful.

Everyone, that is, except for himself.

When it came to himself, he hated everything.

“Patton?” Thomas asks. Patton snaps his head up and immediately smiles. “I asked what you like about yourself. What are some things you can think about for your affirmations?”

“I don’t know, doc, don’t you think affirmations are a little silly?”

“No,” his therapist responds, uncharacteristically serious, “I think they work.”

“Oh...okay, well-how do they work?”

“It’s an attempt to retrain your brain, right now you probably have a lot of shame and such surrounding yourself, and you can talk badly to yourself, so affirmations are a way to add positivity back to that mix, to try and even out the playing field a bit.”

“Ah, so what if I don’t talk badly to myself?”

“Well, then I would have to ask why you’re bingeing and purging in the first place?”

“I haven’t done that!” Patton lies, “Not recently, anyway.”

“I’m sorry, I misspoke, why did you start bingeing and purging in the first place?”

And, really, Patton can’t remember, it’s been so long.

“I...don’t remember.”

“Okay, I know it’s been a while, but try and think back to when you were using these behaviors. How’d you feel right before they happened?”

“I don’t think I was feeling much of anything,” It’s not a lie. Patton always feels numb when he starts. Then regret sets in after.

“Then let’s start here,” Thomas says, turning to grab a binder. As he flips through the pages, he continues talking, “Because numbness is not the lack of emotion. It’s what happens when you’re feeling so overwhelmed that your defense is to shut it all down.”

“Really?”

“Yep,” Thomas says, “Here it is. There are other emotions we can look at, but I think that this one may be the most accurate.”

At the top of the worksheet, the title is “Shame.”

As Patton reads through the “symptoms,” he finds that more and more fit when he wakes up at night, right before he binges.

“You see, in the simplest terms, shame is when we feel like we’ve done something bad, and therefore we are a bad person.”

“So, what would I do?”

Thomas flips a few more pages and lands on one that says “Check the facts.”

“You would do this,” he says, “You would see if your emotions and intensity fit the facts.”

“And if they didn’t…?”

“You would do the opposite action, which is exposing the thing that you think you should be ashamed of, in a safe space, where people won’t reject you,” Thomas says. “Here, let’s break it down a little bit.”

Thomas lays out all the different ways to interpret an action, about how you would check the facts objectively, but the trick is you have to be honest about the way you’re feeling and why you’re feeling it.

“So, in theory, if I were still bingeing and purging, this could stop it?”

“DBT and CBT is helpful for many patients, so I think it’s worth a try,” Thomas says, “And you have plenty of people who are safe to talk to, Patton. You have me, the group, and your mom. Do you think you could talk to one of them if you’re feeling ashamed?”

“I...I guess I could,” Patton goes quiet, “Hey, Dr. Sanders?” his voice quivers a bit.

“Yes?”

“I...I lied. I’m sorry. But I haven’t stopped. I never stopped.”

A few tears fall down his face. He’s met with silence, so he looks up and sees his therapist giving him a gentle smile.

“That’s okay, Patton,” he says, “We can work on it.”

Patton takes a deep breath, and lets it out slowly. “Okay.”

[calliecat93]

RWBY V6 CH12 Review: Seeing Red

Well last week was a trip, huh guys? Mech fight, weapons lost, Adam face reveal. So far the road to the season finale has held nothing back. And as we go into the penultimate episode, are they going to be able to keep surprising us? Can I ever write better intros for this review? All of that will be answered... probably... in this episode! So lets get on with it!

Overview

Good news is Maria and Oscar are still in the air! Bad news is Cordovan is trying to swat them down. Worst, the other soldier are watching the fight... just as radar picks up something. Well I'm sure that THAT won't be a problem. Ruby, who manages to get herself back on top of the ledge, isn't happy with Oscar's actions, but luckily farmboy has a plan! He's noticed that Cordovan locks in Dust cartridges to fire... but the missile launcher pops out during it. Meaning that if Ruby shoots it at the right moment, they can implode it. But to do so, Ruby has to get in close, so Maria comes to pick her up. Despite Qrow clearly being against it, Ruby hops onboard. Maria brings her in close, mocking Cordovan to distract her just as her forces try to call her... well, probably nothing to worry about!

Unfortunately, Cordovan is able to spot Ruby and pulls the missiles back. She sends out a Lightning Dust burst, which effects the systems and Maria's eyes. With her unable to see, Oscar is forced to take the controls... and since he can't pilot they crash in the woods. Fortunately they're alright, but the ship is damaged and Maria is still blind. Ruby's a bit winded, but once she sees the damage and that Cordovan is still coming, she starts to move ahead. Qrow arrives, grabbing her hand and telling her to stop. Ruby's response? To turn around and simply stare at him with a defiant look. A look that takes Qrow by surprise. Almost as though it... remind shim of something... Ruby pulls away, but not before telling her uncle to trust her. A response that very clearly pains him.

Ruby, standing alone, walks up to Cordovan who tells her to surrender and face up to her crimes. Ruby however refuses, pointing out that she and the others have faced worth than her and that they WILL get to Atlas. They're all on the same side, but Cordovan uses her power to look down on others, not defend them. She gives Cordovan the chance to step down... and of course, the old woman refuses as she prepares to open fire. Directly on Ruby. Which would kill her... and you complain about Maria working with children. But Ruby, being Ruby, does something unexpected... she speeds herself inside of the canon. With the cartridge locked, Cordovan can't do anything so Ruby fires an Ice Dust bullet. She bursts out just as ice completely bangs up Cordovan's canon, weighting the mech down and bringing it to it's knees. Ruby's aura breaks, forcing Weiss to use the last of hers to use Gravity glyphs to lessen the impact. Qrow catches Ruby, and luckily our little red is AOK! Phew!

We now turn back over to Blake and Yang vs Adam, who tries to mock the two girls. About how Blake can't face him alone like back in Haven. How Blake made promises to stand by him, and how that turned out. How Blake chose Yang over him, leaving him behind. All of these get rebutted. Blake has people who care for her and will fight both by her and for her. Yang points out how Blake made a promise to who Adam pretended to be, not the person that he actually is. How Blake left him because he became a toxic person in her life who only brought her pain. But despite all of this, Adam makes it clear what his choice is. He's going to fight, and nothing is going to get in his way. With it now clear that Adam isn't going to walk away peacefully, the two girls charge forward.

We get one heck of a fight, Blake and Yang's teamwork allowing them to more than hold their own against Adam. Blake is even able to retrieve the hilt for Gamble Shroud and fight with it still, Yang even saving it when Adam tries to redirect it at her. But of course no fight goes that simple. Adam is able to knock Blake off the cliff, breaking her Aura in the process. She's able to catch herself, but now Yang is on her own and Adam proceeds to mock her about if she can escape the blow that he beat her with in Beacon. This reignites her trauma, causing Adam to mockingly say “Me neither” and continue his attack. But of course Yang may be scared, but like Hell she isn't going to fight back. As the back and forth goes on, Adam is left unaware of Blake slowly climbing her way back up. Instead, he spends his time angrily asking what Blake sees in Yang and as he knocks her down, angrily proclaims that she is a coward just like her partner. He activates his Semblance, causing a dust cloud, as he brings his sword down...

...only to find it blocked. Yang grabbed the blade with her metal arm. But that's not the important part. Not only did her eyes go red... but her hair is on fire. Yes my friends, for the first time since V3CH11 when she got dismembered, Yang has activated her Semblance. She use sit to good effect, punching Adam so hard that it causes rubble. His Aura is completely shattered by this, and worst he finds that he no longer has his sword. Yang does. While this move breaks her own aura, Yang points out that while she may not be faster than Adam, she IS smarter. She throws the blade off the cliff, Adam running after it... and right in position for Blake to land an upper cut. Despite now being outnumbered, without his Aura, and disarmed of his sword, Adam refuses to stay down. He charges at Blake, provoking her to again grab Gambol Shroud's hilt. Yang grabs the bladed remains. They both act in defense... and stab Adam right through the chest and back.

Adam is clearly in shock as the two girls pull back. He stumbles to the edge of the cliff, the life draining from his eyes. He loses all strength and goes limp, falling over the ledge. With one hit to one of the rocks, Adam falls into the water. With no Aura and the severity of his wounds... ti would appear that Adam Taurus is finally dead. Blake, whether it be out out of grief for the man she once cared for, relief that the nightmare is over, or even just having to take a life, breaks down. Fortunately Yang is there to comfort her as Blake tearfully proclaims that she isn't going to break her promise to never leave again. All that Yang can say is that she knows that she won't as Blake continues to cry.

Back at the mech fight, Cordovan is furious as she calls in for her forces to launch a full-scale assault. At the same time, the group's ship is able to still work despite the damage and they start to plan to make a run for it. But it's at this point that Cordovan's men inform her of a much, MUCH larger problem. Seemingly due to the negativity that this fight has provoked among the citizens, a Grimm has appeared. A giant, Godzilla-esque Grimm known a as Leviathan. Worst, it's also summoned an army of Manticore Grimm. With the mech down and most of thee teams Auras broken, it looks like thing shave taken a turn for the worst as the episode comes to a close.

Review

HO BOY do we have a LOOOT to talk about.

We'll do thee mech fight first since lets be real, the Bees and Adam are the big topic. Like last week,t he fight was very enjoyable. IDK if I liked it as much, but there is one thing that I truly loved about it here: Ruby. This volume just continues to knock it out of the park with her development. When everyone is down, she takes it upon herself to face Cordovan. When the ship crashes, she goes to stare down the giant robot that can easily squash her like a bug. When Qrow tries to stop her, all she has to do is glare and tell him to trust her. And then? She actually tries to talk to Cordovan, asking her stop while making it very clear that if she doesn't, then she's not going to quit. And when Cordovan gets ready to fire at her at point blank? Ruby simply flies into the canon, opens fire, and brings the mech down single-handed. It's the type of crazy plan that we haven't seen out of her in quite so time, and it was glorious.

Ruby has been done so well in this volume, and this was no exception. She is in control. She is never going to give up. She is going to get everyone to Atlas and stop those who look down on others, no matter the risk. Yeah there's consequences to this kind of mindset, like the Grimm attack, but tbf this wouldn't have happened if Adam didn't show up and if Cordovan just calmed down. But this does open the door for Ruby to have her trial by fire. And with everyone either exhausted or aura drained, the Silver Eyes may very well be the key to victory. We'll see next week, but we can be for certain that our favorite hooded Huntress isn't going down with a fight.

Then lets briefly talk about Qrow. I've been starting to ease back up on him since he's trying to contribute again and he['s let out his guilt instead of act like an asshole/drink himself stupid. His freakout in Chapter 10 and brief moments of concern for Ruby last chapter really demonstrated that. But then there's this chapter, namely his reaction after the ship crashed. Ruby gets ready to go at the mech solo, and Qrow grabs her hand yo stop her. It's understandable, his nice could easily get killed and with how bad things look already, he doesn't want to risk that. But then she turns, stares at him, and tells him tot rust her. His reaction is shock and clearly struggling with accepting those words. I don't think it's just due to concern for Ruby though. Going off his expressions, it felt like he was having a flashback. Yeah, I think he was full on remembering Summer in that instance. Hopefully that'll mean that we eventually get a STRQ flashback next volume, and chances are it's gonna hurt. But yeah, really nice scene there~

And now we get to the main event: Bumblebee vs Adam. First,t he fight itself was great. The girls teamwork was well coordinated and watching Adam just get the snot beat out of him was glorious to behold. The best part of course is Yang facing Adam's Semblance strike. This moment perfectly shows off her development over these past few volumes. As Tai instructed her, she is thinking smart. Unlike in V3 where she just jumped at Adam despite being tired and not in a good emotional place, this time she is composed, prepared, and not acting in blind rage. She's scared. Of course she is, especially when up against the same move that traumatized her to begin with. But this time, Yang grabs the sword with the metal arm. This time, Adam can't break her. And after so long, she activates her Semblance at a perfectly timed moment, allowing her to break Adam's Aura in once strike. She has evolved as a fighter because she chose to learn from her mistakes and move forward, something that Adam was never capable of doing. It's a perfect bookend to Yang's story in these volumes. Also I just love her fire hair in the Maya engine! So good!

But yeah... after six volumes, Adam Taurus is finally dead. Now I've already seen the expected 'he fell off a cliff! He can't really be dead!” comments, and I can't blame them. After the fake-out with Cinder, the reaction is understandable. But... no, I think he's dead. Lets look at the facts. His Aura is broken, he got stabbed pretty brutally through the chest and back by two blades, he was already going limp, you could see the life draining out him him, when he fell he collided head on with a rock and there's a pretty nasty sound effect, and finally landed in the water. When this happened to Cinder, she was frozen alive and her Aura was broken, but he wasn't severely injured and I imagine that the Maiden powers offered some form of protection. Adam does not have that benefit. If the stabs didn't kill him, then hitting the water did. With those wounds, there's no way that he can swim out and those punctures are just going to drown him faster. In RvB, The Meta died in a very similar manner: getting stabbed didn't kill him, but being pulled down a cliff and into the water with those wounds drowned him. I wouldn't be surprised if that's where they got the idea since RT produces both shows actually, haha.

My point is, we have plenty of evidence to suggest that yes, Adam is really dead. It also makes sense form a story point. Honestly, there's no real role left for Adam to play. He existed for Blake's connection to the White Fang and the source of many of her issues. He's a symbol of what she's trying to not be, a violent extremist who will kill anyone, including innocents, for his cause. He is why Blake has been running. But these past three volumes have had Blake finally growing away form that. She finally realized that running away wasn't protecting people, only hurting both them and herself. She decided to face her problems, first by reclaiming the White Fang and inspiring other Faunus to fight for their rights instead of letting the WF do it for them. She faced Adam head on with Sun, realizing that she has people who love and who want to stand by her not because they think they have to, but because they WANT to. She came back to her team and has been doing her damnest to make things right, especially towards Yang. And the results? The WF has been completely shattered beyond repair, Faunus have a better reputation and the chance to start anew, and the control that Adam had over her is gone.

Adam suffered, but instead of trying to become better, he decided to succumb tot he pain and hatred. While he may have started off genuinely wanting to help Faunus, the character short made it clear that his anger, hatred, and need for control destroyed any goodwill that he had. He became willing to kill, in part due to Sienna, but unlike her he took utter glee in doing so. He wanted to have power over someone, and he did that to Blake. He deluded himself into thinking that nothing is his fault and refusing to acknowledge his problems. Because of it he staged a successful coup on Sienna that ended up being the White Fang's downfall. He got himself humiliated, and then killed his own men for daring to point out how badly he screwed up. The moment that he ran from Haven, his loyalty to the White Fang and desire to 'better' Faunus lives was gone, replaced only with vengeance against Blake. It may be said in a way because he did suffer and his hatred against humans is understandable. But it doesn't justify anything, especially regarding Blake. Some say that Adam was poorly written, but I could not disagree more. This is what happens when you allow spite and hatred to consume you. It breaks you down, makes you lose yourself, and unless you can recognize it, it'll ultimately destroy you. Just as it did here.

But of course, Adam's death isn't treated as a triumphant moment. Neither Blake nor Yang intended to kill Adam. Blake acted in self defense, and Yang acted to defend Blake. It was ultimately a self defense kill. And for Blake... of course it wouldn't be a happy moment. Yes, Adam abused, manipulated, and controlled her... but he was still someone that she once loved and cared for. Someone that she had been with for so long and who she used to look up to. Unhealthy or not, this was someone that Blake had a strong connection with and she hated seeing what he had become. Does she hate Adam? No, I think she just pities him. She recognizes that he is a toxic person, and she gave him plenty of chances to just leave her alone. He refused, and as such she was forced to end his life. She had to kill the man who she used to admire so much. Everything, along with just the fact that it was finally truly over, hit her in that one instant. She broke.

Fortunately, Yang is there to comfort her, now knowing that Blake isn't ever going to leave like she did again. Now does this make Bumblebee canon? Mmm... until we get a full on conformation, I'd rather not jump the gun. But it certainly seems to be heading in that direction. Sun seeming to move on in the start of the volume (and made it a point that he didn't help Blake out of any feeling she had for her), Adam saying things like 'what does she even see in you', the clear parallels to Yang and Adam... that's a lot of specific things that are really hard to just pass off. I think, at this point, there's a very high chance that Bumblebee is going to happen, though I feel that they need some more happy development between them first. If only just to cool down after all of this. But no matter how you see it, they can finally close the door on Adam. Blake's six volumes worth of development and Yang's three has finally reached their end, and now they can move on to new and hopefully better things. They've both grown from their experiences, and in the end came out stronger for it. I left the chapter feeling immensely satisfied, and just the relief that Adam is gone was... just great. These girls can have peace of mind again, and they very much deserved it.

Final Thoughts

Boy did this review get long! But yeah, loved it! Great fights, a perfect conclusion to the Adam storyline with a VERY satisfying death scene, and of course plenty of insanity still around for the season finale. As I said, it looks like Ruby's trial of fire has come. Will our heroes fall here? Or will they rise like the moon and come out the victors? One more episode to go my friends, lets see how it all ends.

[orderoftheavengers]

A Game of Idiot Balls

Summary: Steve Rogers and Tony Stark decide to settle their differences once and for all  with an epic, illegal Quidditch match.  But a sinister Durmstrang student spikes everyone’s food and drinks with fire-whiskey  and hobbit weed, and hexed all of the Quidditch balls, turning them into literal “idiot balls,” causing all the Avengers to think, speak and act wildly out of character.   

TEAM STARK: Captain: Tony Stark

Beaters: Tony Stark, James Rhodes  

Chasers: Natasha Romanoff, T'Challa, Vision

Keeper: Friday

Seeker: Peter Parker  

TEAM ROGERS: Captain: Steve Rogers

Beaters: Steve Rogers, Clint Barton (using arrow-spells to deflect balls)

Chasers: Wanda Maximoff, Sam Wilson, Scott Lang

Keeper: Charon Carter

Seeker: Bucky Barnes

A Tragic Accident

The “civil war” that destroys the Order of the Avengers begins with a disagreement and a badly-aimed fireball.

It’s a deceptively sunny day in October, and students are milling about on the grass, after studies.

“You’re not the guy to make the tough call!” Steve Rogers challenges. “To lie down on the burning coals and let the other guy walk over you!”

“Rogers, it’s wizard’s chess. We’re supposed to sacrifice our pawns to violent deaths for our own agendas. Oh would you look at that, guess my knight and your bishop have chosen to make love instead of war.”

“Stark, I’ve warned you about enchanting my stuff with your perverted humor!” Steve fumes.

He’s still angry at Tony Stark for adding rude speech throughout his sketchbook. Being wizard pictures, the sketches actually say them out loud. From Steve’s schoolbag, one can hear a muffled voice recite, “There once was an elf from Nantucket, who saved all his farts in a bucket. He could get laid with any elf maid, so he lubed up his hand and said—” Steve hastily shuts his bag.

Tony makes a rude retort about Steve’s (lack of) dating life, and things escalate. Soon they have their wands out, and have drawn a crowd.

“Honestly,” Rose Weasley says loudly, “why can’t the Americans teach their children how to wager?”

When the boys expressed their confusion, Rose explains: “Here in the civilized world, when two gentlemen have a disagreement, they solve it with finances, not fists. Make a bet on something, if you’re so eager for competition!”

Scratching his goatee with his wand, Tony ponders, “Okay…What should we bet on?”

Suggestions start coming from the students around them, each stupider than the last.

“Which Quibbler articles are true!” suggests Lysander Scamander, son of Luna Lovegood.

Loki lifts his broom-wand threateningly. “How about whether or not I’ll have ‘performance issues’ this time, Stark?”

A mandrake classmate in Hufflepuff finally suggests, “I am Groot!”

“Don’t be stupid Groot,” says Rocket (a raccoon/niffler hybrid, in Slytherin). “You can’t light a fart on fire, even with magic.”

“I am Groot.”

“Huh? No way, you have not done it before.”

“I am Groot! I am Groot, I am Groot.”

“Fine, go ahead and show us.” Rocket folds his furry arms.

Peter Quill’s eyes flare. “Groot wait—!”

With a flick of his wand, and a mutter of “I am Groot” (which his wand can translate as “Incendio”), the mandrake’s bum lights up. Groot enjoys a moment’s giggle, before the poor plant realizes his entire body is now aflame.

“I AM GROOT!” he is running around the castle, on fire. “I AM GROOOOT! I AM GROOT! I AM GROOOOOOOOT!”

“The fire’s gonna spread!” Steve gasps, pointing at some flames that have already left the mandrake to spread through the grass.

Thinking quickly, Ravenclaw Wanda Maximoff uses her wandless-magic to create a bubble, trapping the flaming Groot in a contained fireball. She carefully lifts the screaming, flaming tree up and away from the crowd… until her hand slips, sending Groot and his fireball into the Gryffindor tower, obliterating it.

Luckily no humans are killed, but a many hours of homework and a couple of pets are lost.

A mustached house-elf with glasses, irritated by the mess he must now clean up, yells down from the tower, “Don’t make me come down there, you punks!” The Potter Accords The incident inspires the Ministry of Magic to take action, in the form of the Potter Accords.

This controversial new document puts heavy restrictions on the way teen wizards and witches are allowed to go about solving mysteries and saving the school from evil.  

Quidditch now has safety rules; deadly creatures larger than three meters are now required to sleep outside the castle; heroes under the age of 15 will need signed permission slips to solve deadly mysteries or fight dark wizards; the moving staircases are now required to have railings; and applicants for the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor must now pass background checks.

Tony, having recently been guilted by a Durmstrang student who lost her owl to Ultron, and has been dumped by Pepper for being “too out of control,” is desperate for a chance to alleviate himself from of some of the guilt he’s been building up over the years. So he voices his support for the Potter Accords.

Steve on the other hand fears the Accords might contain an agenda, and he hates agendas. He joined the army to fight agendas. He refuses to sign.

Duty-bound Gryffindor Jams Rhodes argues with gut-following Hufflepuff Sam Wilson over the issue. Vision begins a logical argument in favor of the Accords, and ends up on a tangent about all of the plot holes in “Harry Potter.” This in turn leads to a lengthy debate on how responsible of a headmaster Dumbledore really was, which circles back to the Accords. The Avengers are beginning to break apart.

Long Live the King

This Halloween, Hogwarts hosts a special banquet for the adults deciding on the Potter Accords. Nicodemus Fury is unable to attend, busy battling some basilisks on a Muggle airplane . But many parents and guardians are present, including King Odin; Peter Parker’s Muggle Aunt May; and King T’Chaka, whose son T’Challa is attending Hogwarts this year as an exchange student.

T’Chaka is giving a toast to a peaceful semester, when suddenly, one of the decorative floating Jack-O-lanterns shrieks, “LONG LIVE THE DARK LORD!” and explodes in a fireball.  Among the casualties are the drummer for the Weird Sisters; another Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher; and King T’Chaka.

Evidence points to one Hufflepuff vampire student named Bucky Barnes.

“Evidence” here meaning, “a fuzzy wizarding photo, of such poor quality that you can barely even make out the middle finger the blurry figure is waving at the camera.” Vice-Headmaster, and Head of Gryffindor House, Thaddeus Ross, and three of his underlings, have personally asked the wizard-photo who he was, and the blurred photo assured them: “I’m Buck Rogers and I bombed Hogwash! I mean Hoggle-wart! Whatever it’s called. I’m that vampire guy who’s friends with that hot Yank with the blue-green eyes. I’m not an embittered Durmstrang kid trying to f*ck with you all, I’m Bucky Barnacle, also known as the Winter Solstice, and my prank-pumpkin killed the king of Anaconda! I’m dangerous hooligan that needs to be corrected! And to those mourning, I highly recommend the pumpkin juice and chocolate frogs. They’re sure to clear your heads.” The experts, having already overdosed on the unusually addictive pumpkin juice and chocolate frogs, express surprise at the Winter Soldier’s Eastern European accent, which Bucky had never displayed before. Nevertheless, the Dementors float over to the Hufflepuff table and snatch up the young vampire, just as he is reaching for the bowl of plums. Poor Bucky is swiftly muzzled and chained to a kinky iron chair, and magically transported up to the Third Floor for his detention, while his fangirls around the castle look on. The Idiot Balls Snowball… Bucky professes his innocence, but is assigned detention for a “careless and dangerous prank that cost lives.” His detention is supposed to involve working on homework with a tutor—a Ravenclaw nerd no one had seen before. The Ravenclaw turns out to be an invading Durmstrang student named Helmut Zemo, cleverly disguised with a pair of glasses. Zemo Imperius-Curses Bucky into going on a vampire rampage throughout the school. Steve finally punches Bucky back to his senses in Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom, where Sam catches up to them. The trio quickly deduce that Zemo is behind everything. In any other installment of this series, they would rush to communicate the situation to the other Avengers. But instead…. "We can’t trust Tony.” Sam declares. “Huh?” Steve stares at his friend. “Where did that come from? Have you ever even said two words to Tony?” “He won’t believe us.” Sam presses. Steve just gapes at Sam. “…Tony…whose own mentor betrayed him, won’t believe that the suspicious nerd we all just met is a bad guy? Tony, who witnessed Clint and Erik mind-controlled by Loki, won’t believe that Bucky was mind-controlled?” “Even if he does believe us,” Sam continues dramatically, “The Accords might not let him do anything.” “Let him?” Steve laughed. “Okay, I know Tony’s in a ‘follow the rules’ mood at the moment, but do you seriously think Tony Stark would let that stop him from helping us in this situation? Tony, who carried a NUKE for the whole planet and almost died to save all our asses? What’s gotten into you, Sam?” “It doesn’t matter,” Sam says distantly. “For I am you, and you are me, is he as she as we can be.” The spiked food and drink suddenly hit Steve too, and his eyes widen in understanding. “If everybody is nobody, than nobody can be anybody!” Bucky finishes, “I am the walrus!…Geddit? Cuz I’m a vampire, and I has fangs… okee-day I’ll shuddup now.” Steve proceeds to barely ever mention the crucial issues at hand to Tony and the others.  Who in turn, never once bother to ask what the heck is going on. Instead, both sides focused their arguments on the Potter Accords, and stumble forth through their “civil war” like idiots. Pointless, drunken arguing eventually leads Tony and Steve to finally agreeing on a wager: whether or not Tony can find a better Quidditch Seeker than Bucky Barnes.  Tony sets out to find that Seeker, and both boys start recruiting for their Teams… Picking Teams: Before teams can be arranged, Thor and Bruce Banner are given a detention by the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher (yes, they got another one that fast).  This completely pulls them out of the action, unable to participate in the “Civil War” Quidditch match. Tony and Steve agree that the two teams need and equal number of players, as well as one token female Avenger and at one token Black Avenger, each. Falcon laughs, “Imagine if this hadn’t been a planned sport, and had just randomly worked out that way!” Rhodey chuckles, “You’d be more likely to stumble on a recording of one of the Winter Sorcerer’s top-secret missions!” A knut is tossed to determine who gets Natasha, and Tony wins, putting Wanda on Steve’s team, despite her currently sharing Tony’s motivations. But after so much spiked pumpkin juice and butterbeer, almost none of the Avengers are thinking very hard about logical motivations anymore. “Rescuing” Wanda: Already tickled pink (scarlet?) not to be in Azkaban for her past crimes, Wanda is relieved that her only punishment for obliterating that Gryffindor tower is a normal detention in her own Commonroom, under her House Prefect and boyfriend Vision. They decide to study for Home Mag. class, baking pumpkin cake using levitation. A bespeckled, mustached house elf named Stanley delivers the ingredients. Unbeknowenced to Vision and Wanda, but knowneced to the audience, this “house elf” is in fact villain Helmut Zemo, disguised with the Polyjuice potion. The cake mix he gives them is laced with Hobbit Weed from the Shire, and the butterbeer is spiked with Firewhisky from Rosmertta’s. Later on, Hawkeye—already suffering the effects of Zemo’s spiked refreshments—leaps down from the vents into the middle of the Ravenclaw commonroom. “A little tall for a house elf?” Wanda snarks, as Clint brushes dirt and rubble off of his robes.   “My name’s Clint Barton, I’m here to rescue you!” Clint says theatrically. Wanda shakes her head in confusion. “Rescue me from what? Baking cake in a luxurious common room with my boyfriend? It’s a bloody miracle I wasn’t in Azkaban even before all this!” She takes an angry bite of the freshly baked pumpkin cake. “And really Clint, I’m kind of appalled that you of all people—the family man, who taught me responsibility and all that—are trying to get me to break out and go criminal, much less now of all…of all……” Her voice becomes distant and dramatic, as the drugs in the cake begin to take hold. “…of all the commonrooms in all the castles in all the world…he walks into mine.” Vision watches in bafflement as Wanda abruptly switches from sensibility to…whatever the hell had gotten into Clint. “Wanda,” Vision warns, “If you do this, they will never stop fearing you.” “I can’t control their fear, only my own.” “I….I think that just may be the stupidest response to a call for responsibility I have ever heard in my short life,” Vision replies. “Though that is kind of a nice inspirational quote, out of context. Maybe hold onto that line and save it for a more appropriate sce—” “STUPIFY!” Wanda cries with a flick of her hands. Her wandless spell sends poor Vision flying through the stone floors of Hogwarts, down to Moaning Myrtle’s toilet, where he is flushed into the lake and swallowed by the Giant Squid. Wanda follows Clint to the Quidditch field, where the Avengers prepare for the most epic, illegal, drunken Quidditch match ever. Pressuring Peter Parker Meanwhile, Tony is doing some “recruiting” of his own. First-year Peter Parker enters the Ravenclaw commonroom to see a big scary seventh-year with an evil looking goatee flirting shamelessly with Aunt May, on one of the long, blue, eagle-footed sofas. The adult Muggle woman laughingly dismisses the high schooler’s dirty flattery, with comments about not wanting to end up in prison or on “Opra.” Wow, Peter thinks, this kid’s got some balls. The only person in all of Hogwarts stupid enough to try hitting on an adult Muggle would have to be—

“Oh my god,” Peter gasps. “You’re Tony f*cking–!” “Ha! I wish.” Tony says jovially, while Aunt May makes a dismissive Oh you, gesture. “Peter!” Aunt May smiles over couch. “You didn’t tell me Tony Stark was tutoring you!” “I was just telling her about that essay for Medieval Troll Literature I proofread for you,” says Tony, while making a subtle face.   Playing along, Peter stammers, “Um, yeah, those Trolls are always really big on spelling and grammar.”

Tony and Peter go up to the latter’s dorm, supposedly to look at Peter’s “troll essay.”   Once they’re alone, Tony whips out a Wizard Card. “Question of the rhetorical variety…. that’s you, innit?” On the card is a moving picture of Peter, done up in his spider cloak and hood, kicking ass. Below is a short description of the mysterious “Spider Wizard,” and his various talents, which include “flying tricks that make Harry Potter look like a tool.” After some adorkable quivering, Tony finally gets the truth from Peter. “So why do you do it?” Tony asks. “What makes you willing to undertake all the crap Harry Potter did, with none of the sidekicks and helpful mentors and direct recognition he had?” Peter stammers, “Well, when you can do the things that I can do…and then you don’t…and then the bad things happen….it’s your fault…” Tony frowns. “Why do you sound so awkward? Do I intimidate you?” “No. It’s just…. there’s a specific sentence that explains, exactly, why I’m the Spider Wizard. But whenever I try to say it I…. I can’t. It’s basically along the lines of me having these huge advantages, and needing to use them.” “You mean like, 'With great powder comes great redundability?’” Tony blinks and shakes his head. “Wow, tongue-tied! What I meant was, with great Shamwow comes great resale ability–” he pauses again, baffled by his own misbehaving mouth. “See? You can’t say it either! It’s like there’s some kind of magical block on that specific sentence, so no one can ever say it!” Tony strokes his goatee thoughtfully. “Seems like a Copyright jinx…Bastards. Anyway,” Tony lifts his wand, “Accio Upgrade!” Several shattered windows, five toppled book shelves, two unconscious first-years and one screeching cat later, Peter is geeking out over his shinny new broom and magical cloak, with special enchantments to keep his identity and body protected. The Slytherin sixth year then blackmails the little Ravenclaw into joining him in an illegal Quidditch match that afternoon. “But aren’t first years banned from playing Quidditch unless they’re Harry Potter?” Peter asks as they fly towards the Quidditch pitch. “I dunno, maybe.” “Could you like, go to prison for making me do this?” “Possibly.” “Cool! We’re outlaws!” “Er…. yeah… the law… the thing I was fighting the Cap about….erm……….. So! Ready to prove you’re a better Seeker than Barnes & Noble?” “Yes sir!” the first year says eagerly. Black Panther Newly crowned King T’Challa believes Bucky killed his father, and vows revenge. When Steve and Tony approach him in the Courtyard, T’Challa agrees to the match and joins Team Stark, purely so he can avenge his father.

“The Black Panther has been the protector of Wakanda for generations. A mantle, passed from warrior to warrior. And now, because that little sh*t incinerated my father, I also wear the mantle of king. So, I ask you Rogers… as wizard, warrior and king… how long do you think you can keep your blood-sucking little Emo safe from me?” Steve can only stare blankly, not so much out of fear for Bucky, as horror over seeing another Gryffindor stealing his gag of dramatic speeches…and doing it infinitely better.

Tony points out, “Well I’ll have to ask you to wait until after Parker catches the Snitch to kill Barnes—”

“I will not kill the vampire,” T'Challa swears solemnly. “I will put the wooden stake of my broom through his undead heart, as I tear his head from his shoulders using only my Vibranium jaws, painting the land crimson in a symphony of vengeance and justice for my father, my kingdom, and centuries of colonization.”

By now even the giant squid is staring silently, as is Vision, who is dripping wet and dangling from one tentacle by his ankle. Tony adjusts his purple shades. “So that’s a yes? Sounds good. We meet at the Quidditch pitch right after dinner.” A Sinister Enchantment By they time they reach the Quidditch pitch, everyone has had a taste of stupidity. Before supper, Zemo secretly poured Firewhiskey into the pitchers of pumpkin juice and all the bottles of butterbeer, and fed Hobbit Hemp to all of the chocolate frogs. But it’s about to get much, much worse. Because Zemo has also put jinxes on all of the Quidditch balls, turning them into literal “idiot balls.” A different jinx is cast on each ball. On the Quaffle, Zemo casts Dramatis Personae, a sinister spell that causes anyone within three miles of the ball to speak and act overly dramatic manner, at the cost of common sense. On one Bludger he casts Sequelitis, which exaggerates the victim’s personality traits to idiotic proportions, and on the other Prequelitis, which makes people say and do things that contradict common knowledge about their own history. And on the Golden Snitch, he cast the most insidious curse of all: Fratres Russo, the spell that erases the victim’s human empathy, for the sake of all of the above-mentioned spells’ ends. Resuming his house-elf disguise, Zemo lurks below the bleachers to watch his work unfold. Let’s Get Ready to Rumble! The Quidditch bleachers are filled with blazed classmates, and even a few professors. (You can bet the Grand Master found a way to attend both this and his other blood-sport at the same time, with the help of a Time Turner.) Throughout the game, the teams’ supporters blast muggle music from the stands: Black Sabbath’s “Iron Man,” and the theme to “Team America, World Police,” attempting to drown each other out.   Before the game begins, Tony flies out into the middle of the field on his “iron broom,” and announces: “Before we do this, let’s go over the ground rules.”

Everyone listens intently, except Steve Rogers and Charon Carter, who are kissing drunkenly.

“Rule Number One!” Tony bellows sternly. “There will be no touching of the hair or face…”

Steve chimes in, “And that’s it! Now lets do this!”

With this being the only rule, T’Challa sees no reason not to take on his Animagus form, and leaps from his broom at Bucky Barnes, while the vampire races Parker to the Snitch.

“You’re a vampire with a robot arm?” Peter exclaims at Bucky. “That is awesome dude!”

“It’s not robotic, it’s enchanted armorAAAAAAA!” Dodging vibranium claws, the little vampire shrieks under his rock-star hair, “FOR THE LOVE OF MERLIN’S MAGICAL BALLSACK, I DIDN’T KILL YOUR FATHER!” “Then why did you run?!” the panther demands in a growling voice, taking another swipe. “BECAUSE A GIANT PANTHER, HORNY TEENAGE GIRLS AND A LITERAL ARMY ARE TRYING TO TEAR ME LIMB FROM LIMB! WHAT THE F*CK KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?!” Bucky dodges the cat once more, and yells hoarsely to the universe, “All I wanted this morning were some f*cking plums!” Meanwhile, Friday and Charon Carter both give up on their jobs as Keepers, since on the rare occasion that a ball of any kind actually comes anywhere near the hoops, it is often not even the Quaffle. As tensions and blood-alcohol levels continue to rise, so does the anger and the violence. “God Tony, I can’t believe you pressured a kid into fighting your dangerous war!” Steve Rogers accuses, as he hurls a massive thestral-carriage onto Peter Parker.

The “Spider-Wizard” catches the carriage in both hands, losing the Snitch, and tosses the vehicle into the bleachers, where it crushes Galaga Guy.

Tony yells back to Steve, “At least I’m not snogging my ex-girlfriend’s niece, perv!” “No,” Steve counters, “just your surrogate little brother’s aunt. Freak.” “He’s got you there!” a tiny voice bellows from the bristles of Tony’s broom. “Who are you?” Tony searches for the speaker. “Your sex life,” Scott Lang, in ant-nimagus form, replies. “We don’t talk much anymore.” During the action, Vision accidentally hits Rhodey with a curse that transforms him into a merman. Unless this curse is reversed, Rhodey will never walk again. Tony is coming closer and closer to his breaking point… Steve is headed for Team Stark’s hoops with the Quaffle (forgetting that he’s supposed to be a Beater right now, and not a Chaser). Black Widow soars over on her broom and stops in front of him. The Quaffle that Steve holds is still enchanted with Dramatis Personae.

“You’re not gonna stop, are you,” Nat breaths dramatically, as the Quaffle’s jinx radiates at her. “Power to the people,” Steve replies with an intense stare. “Gondor has no pants, Gondor needs no pants.” In the most cliched way she can muster, Nat sighs, “I’m gonna regret this…” She takes out her wand, and transforms her own team’s Keeper, Friday the snake, into an orange basalisk, now much too heavy for the tiny broom Tony built her. As the goalie plummets to the ground and Steve scores, Tony hollers at Natasha, “What the hell was that? Is the double-agent thing just hard to shake?” Nat glares at him. “Are you incapable of letting go of your ego for one minute?” Tony bobs in the air on his broom, baffled. “Okay, I’m not denying I have an ego the size of Jupiter, but what the hell does that have to do with anything right now?” Breathing deeply, Nat retorts over dramatically folded arms, “I’m not the one who needs to watch my back.” “…what?” Nat shrugs. “I dunno, I’m stoned.” She pulls a chocolate frog out of her robe and offers it to Tony. “Pot-frog?” “What in the hell are you—Ooo, don’t mind if I do, thanks!” Tony lets the stoned frog leap into the air and twirls on his broom underneath, catching it in his mouth. Later on, no one can clearly remember how the game really ended. The one thing everyone can agree probably wasn’t a hallucination was Scott Lang, in his “ant-nimagus” form, taking someone’s “Engorgio!” charm, and growing from a regular ant to a “Them!” ant. Peter Parker then recalled the muggle film “Empire Strikes Back,” and used his own Animagus powers to web Scott’s six legs together, just as the latter was reenacting a Monty Python skit with one of the Quidditch stands. (Said skit being the one with the giant Siamese cat.) Peter then snagged the Snitch, and Tony’s team won. Peter, still holding the Snitch, is now doing a little dance.

Under the conditions of Steve and Tony’s bet, the losing would team take the blame for the illegal Quidditch game, should any teachers ask. Vice-Headmaster Thaddeus Ross did ask, and assigned all of Team Cap a detention of a sadistic sort.

“For the next month,” Thaddeus says sadistically, “You’ll all be imprisoned in the Giant Squid, at the bottom of the lake!”

Steve opens his mouth to protest. Just at that moment, Peter Parker, still dancing on his broom, enthusiastically throws the Snitch behind him. The tiny golden ball goes flying right into Steve’s opened mouth, knocking him backwards into Bucky. Both tumble off of their brooms, and plummet below the bleachers. How Not to Handle Your Teammate Seeing His Parents Killed By Someone Standing Right Next To Him, And In the Same Instance Learning His Comrade Also Standing Next to Him—You—Knew All Along By sundown, everyone within a thousand-mile radius of Hogwarts is roaring drunk, and higher than a hippogriff. The Avengers have just spent several hours handling those jinxed Idiot Balls. But the worst victim of the Idiot Balls was Steve Rogers, who has accidently swallowed one. The worst one—the Golden Snitch. After speaking with Sam in the Squid-Detention, Tony finally realizes that Zemo is the bad guy. He bids his Quidditch opponents goodbye, as the Squid coughs him back up onto dry land. Whipping Squid slime off his robes, Tony mounts his broom, and goes to find Steve and Bucky. Steve and Bucky are chasing a chocolate frog, that tells them it knows where Zemo is. It leads them to the Forbidden Forest. As the sun sets, the frog takes them further and further into the Forest, finally stopping at a glowing stone basin. Tony catches up on his broom, and starts to apologize to them. But suddenly, his broom gives a strong jerk, throwing Tony head-first into the Pensieve. The Peniseve contains one of Bucky’s own missing memories, from his time as the Winter Sorcerer. This is how Tony learns that his parents did not die by accidently aparating into a werewolf’s den, as the Daily Prophet had reported. They had apparated safely to their vacation destination, only to be greeted by one of Howard Stark’s old friends, now a vampire that seemingly didn’t recognize him. When the Pensieve dumps Tony back into reality, he understandably snaps. And yet, Tony never takes any of the ample chances he has to blast Bucky’s or Steve’s heads off, instead going for throttling and blasting metal arms off. It’s almost as if he’s simply having a human reaction to something traumatic, rather than genuinely trying to murder anyone. But Steve is still being influenced by the golden idiot ball he swallowed.  After mentioning Bucky’s mind-control situation once (in a bored voice), Steve never brings the issue up again. Instead, he spends the rest of the fight bellowing corny lines at Tony, like, “This won’t change what happened,” and “I could do this all day!” The enchantment on the Snitch he ate now has Steve viewing Tony as another generic villain, in need of generic heroic lectures, instead of a comrade who’s just watched his parents get killed by someone standing right next to him (and in the same instance learned the other guy standing next to him knew for ages and kept it from him). “Steve, seriously!” Bucky yells, as Tony blasts off his metal arm, “If you’re not gonna mention my mind-control to him, then just stop talking!”

Ignoring him, Steve heroically holds up his fists and bellows to Tony, “I could do this all day!” “You already said that!” Tony snaps, aiming his wand for another blow. Steve retorts, “Down with the Empire! Remember Alderaan!” and punches Tony repeatedly in the head….in the exact same manner Tony has just watched Bucky kill his father with in the Pensieve.

Shockingly, Tony remains pissed. With a finally corny cry of, “Gondor lives!” Steve breaks Tony’s his wand in half with his shield, ending the fight. Which, in total, lasted about twenty minutes, if that. About the amount of time one might expect a blind rage from someone in Tony’s position to last. Tony then shouts his famous, “That shield doesn’t belong to you!” line. At this point, a sober Steve Rogers would come out of his rage and realized that Tony was now incapacitated, visibly cooling down, and still conscious, and that this was the opportune moment to apologize, remind Tony of Bucky’s mind-control, and get everyone back on track against Zemo. But that Golden Snitch, oozing with the Russo curse, still flutters around Steve’s innards. So instead, Steve dramatically! drops the shield, and heads off into the Forest with Bucky. To Steve’s credit, his Gryffindor chivlary prevailed when he dropped the shield he was “unworthy” of; his common sense and empathy just… didn’t. A Royal Hairball T'Challa is perhaps the only individual who clearly remembers leaving the Quidditch field that day.

Near the end of the game, he had Bucky in his claws. The Animagus opened his panther jaws to begin another epic speech of revenge. But instead of powerful words, out of the panther’s mouth came pained, wheezing gags. Bucky just stared emo-ly under his rock star hair. T’Challa motioned with a paw that he had to excuse himself from the game. The panther leapt from broom to broom until he reached the bleachers, then rushed underneath them to cough up a violent hairball.  Up with the hairball came most of the Firewhisky and Hobbitus Cannibus that he had been unknowingly ingesting all day. His head now clear, T'Challa has been reflecting on the day’s events. He recalls that when the suicide-pumpkin detonated, Bucky Barnes was sitting next to him, snogging Steve. And now that he thinks about it, Barnes doesn’t seem have any trace of a European accent. Could it be that the man evil enough to murder his father might also be evil enough to lie about his identity? Still in panther form, T'Challa begins sniffing for clues… T’Challa finds his way to the Forbidden Forest, where he sees Steve, Bucky and Tony fighting, and Zemo cackling from behind a bush. The panther catches the culprit, and gets the truth from him at claw-point. Helmut Zemo is an embittered and eccentric Durmstrang student, who blames the Order of the Avengers for the deaths of his imaginary wife Gwendolyn, and their three imaginary children, Huey, Dewy and Damocles. Vowing revenge, Zemo set out to destroy the Avengers from within. T'Challa’s Gryffindor chivalry now comes to light, and he realizes, “You have let revenge consume you. It has consumed them. I’m finished letting it consume me.”

T’Challa, still in panther form, drags Zemo back to Hogwarts like a dead mouse, and delivers him to the Dementors. T’Challa later apologizes to Bucky, and offers the vampire amnesty in the secret wizarding nation of Wakanda. Prison Break! Soon after the fight with Tony, Steve belches back up the Golden Snitch. As his head clears, Steve realizes how stupid he’s been. But Tony’s already gone. Steve focuses on the comrades who need his help right now. Sam, Clint, Wanda and Scott are still serving detention inside the Giant Squid’s stomach. Coughing up the Snitch has given Steve an idea.

Steve returns to the lake, and with raised fists, yells and the Squid to come face him like a man. The Giant Squid obliges. Steve then drops his dukes and whips out his wand.

“Accio Nausea Fuel!” A Muggle television set comes soaring forth in from who-knows-where. Playing on the TV is a movie, incidentally staring a relative of Zemo’s: “The Human Centipede.” The Squid is soon puking Steve’s teammates back up, one by one. When Thudnerbolt Ross contacts Tony about the jail-break via the Floo Network, Tony “accidentally” dumps the contents of his snakes’ litter boxes into the fireplace, “missing” the call. How Not to Apologize: Steve then writes an apology letter to Tony, or tries to. Unfortunately, Steve is still half-drunk when he pens and mails the letter, and still suffering some residual effects of the Idiot Balls, particularly Dramatis Personae and Fratres Russo. As a result, Tony ends up reading an embarrassing vanity project about Steve’s life and philosophical musings, spattered with lazy and cliched justifications. Tony finds it particularly ironic that Steve dodges giving him an honest explanation for keeping the information about his parents from him, in the letter where he is “apologizing,” specifically, for keeping information from Tony. Not long after, no one is surprised to see Tony Stark strolling out of the girl’s bathroom, whistling over the sound of a flushing toilet and an angry Moaning. But people are a bit confused when Tony throws up his hands and says, “Great, now I got ink all over my butt!” Separate Ways: Everyone on Team Cap is expelled from Hogwarts, as is Natasha, who violated school dress code one too many times.  Hawkeye and Scott Lang finish their education from home through owl correspondence courses. Charon Carter returns home to America. The rest join Steve Rogers in forming an independent study group in Hogsmeade, to finish their schooling. Tony continues tutoring Peter Parker, both for normal classes and being an Avenger. He gets himself much-needed psychiatric help, and gets back together with Pepper. In Wakanda, T’Challa’s brilliant sister Shuri builds an impenetrable, magic glass coffin for Bucky, and begins working on a way to make him immune to the Imperius Curse. Once cured, Bucky takes work tending the flocks of thestrals on the Wakandan castle grounds. “How does it feel to come so far…?” Ministry Auror and former Ravenclaw student Everett Ross stops by Helmut Zemo’s Azkaban cell for a gloat. “So,” Everett teases, “How does it feel to come all this way, only to fail?” “Did I?” Zemo replies sinisterly. “An empire that is defeated by its enemies can rise again, but one that crumbles from within, that is dead.”

“And what’s that got to do with this?“ Everett asks. "The Avengers only crumbled due to an outside enemy—you.” A cruel smile begins to spread on Zemo’s face. “Only because I exposed the true nature of the Avengers.” “If this was about their ‘true natures,’ then why did you have to get them all to act so out-of-character, and inhumanly stupid, in order to make this ‘civil war’ happen?” Everett retorts. Zemo says quietly, “where do you think I got the Firewhisky and Hobbit Weed to spike their food with? who do you think taught me those jinxes, to turn the Quidditch balls into Idiot Balls?” Everett can only stare, now totally lost. Zemo sneers, “From the writing staff! My goal wasn’t just to destroy the Avengers as a team, but as a franchise! Yes, peering beyond the Forth Wall is an especially difficult form of Divination, which I have mastered! Today, I exposed to the entire audience how little the writers truly care about their characters, story or audience, if there’s a chance for cheap ‘drama’ and cartoonish fanboy-service! The MCU’s worst film, in any universe, has exposed to all the fans that this is nothing more than a cheap popcorn franchise. Watch now as the superhero genre loses its steam, and begins to collapse from within. Look at the DC movies, it’s already happening!” Everett can only stare at the sad, strange little man behind the barred window. Azkaban truly does drive its prisoners to incurable madness.  Shaking his head, Everett takes his leave.

AN: Guess what my least favorite Marvel movie is. And those naysayers said I couldn’t write an AU fic, a parody, and a movie review all in one post!

[junker-town]

5 winners and 3 losers from Week 4 in the NFL

Photo by Harry How/Getty Images

This version of the Cardinals is different, and very special.

I’m drinking the Cardinals Kool-Aid, big time. I’ve been warned against falling for its intoxicating scent. Given reason not to give in to its sweet promises. But dammit, at this point I’m willing to take a big swig, even if it kills me.

After the first week of the season I noticed this was a very, very different Cardinals team to the past. There have been established expectations for Arizona that existed long before the Kliff Kingsbury era. They established themselves as a team that lived or died by the pass, with almost nothing else to show for it. There are times this approach has worked well, like the 2008 team that made the Super Bowl — but what is often forgotten about that team is just how average they were.

Kurt Warner having one last run made for a heck of a story, but this was a really bad team propped up by a hell of a playoff run. The Cardinals went 9-7, in the regular season, had the worst rushing attack in the NFL, and a defense that was in the bottom third of every statistical area. The narrow loss to Pittsburgh for the Lombardi Trophy was the absolute maximum juice that could ever be squeezed out of that orange.

We know that Kingsbury’s approach was bold. He was taking the Air Raid offense and porting it over to the NFL, and for a while it seemed destined to follow in the path of other bold offensive choices that flourished, before fizzling and failing.

Now in 2021 it’s working, or it would be if this was a true Air Raid. Calling what Arizona is doing by any label would be inaccurate, because they’re absolutely unique. Sure, the bread-and-butter of the offense is overwhelming teams through the air with a host of weapons, but the running game has increasingly become a focal point — and it’s been trending this way for a couple of years.

The concept that the Cardinals are marked by Kyler Murray throwing 50 times a game is definitely true at times, but not in 2021. Rather, they’ve been remarkably balanced. Murray has thrown the ball 134 times this season, while the team has run the ball 114 times. This near-parity has positioned Arizona as 19th in the NFL in passing attempts, and 11th in rushing attempts.

This offensively balance was on full display against the Rams, who really didn’t have an answer defensively for the Kingsbury approach. Now with a 1-2 punch of Chase Edmonds and James Conner at running back as their shifty and power back respectively, there are just infinite ways this Arizona offense can attack you — and this season they’ve finally found a defense that’s good enough to get the job done as well.

A win over the Rams is of extra significance to Cardinals fans, who have seen this team struggle so much against Los Angeles in recent years that it’s their Moby Dick. Entering the game on Sunday Arizona had never beaten the Sean McVay led Rams, with an 0-8 record against them. Now sure, 1-8 isn’t much better — but that’s a very important symbol. In doing so it’s also catapulted Murray into potential MVP conversation, even though the season is young.

In four games Murray has been, well, incredible. He’s thrown for 1,273 yards, which projects to well over 5,000 on the year. While his 9 TD to 4 INT ratio is good, but perhaps not incredible — it’s really two other statistics that jump out to me. Murray is completing a ludicrous 76.1 percent of his passes, while converting at yard-per-attempt of 9.5. Keep in mind that averaging over 8.0 is normally a sign of an elite quarterback, and this number is just astonishingly good.

Oh, have we mentioned he can run too? 109 rushing yards for three touchdowns this season. Nothing to exactly write home about, but he’s also been incredibly efficient on the ground when needed — averaging 4.7 yard-per-carry.

What this means in totality is that Murray makes everyone’s life so much easier because he’s locking down an entire phase of the game. It’s meant that the defense doesn’t need to be in world-beating form, just enough of a speed bump that it’s impossible to hang with a team averaging 35 points a game and succeeding against everyone they’ve faced.

Now at 4-0 and coming off a big divisional win over Los Angeles I’m ready to double down on the Cardinals this season. They are that damn good, and this could be their best season ever.

Winner: Dallas Cowboys

It’s not like beating the Panthers is some huge statement game that solidifies the Cowboys in the NFL elite, but there’s a trend to this 3-1 team that’s worth following: Their offense is extremely good, and very difficult for teams to manage. Dallas hasn’t really had an easy “gimme” game this season so far, and they’re still on the right side of the ledger.

Time will tell whether their offensive explosion against Carolina is an indictment of their defense just not being as good as we thought, or if it’s a case of how good the Cowboys’ offense is — but either way this was an important win to take a grip on the NFC East.

In the next four weeks Dallas plays the Giants, Patriots, Vikings and Cowboys — which could absolutely position them at 7-1 as they reach the halfway point in the season.

Loser: Tennessee Titans

If you lose to the Jets you’re a loser of the week. I don’t make the rules around here, I just enforce them.

Winner: The Panthers and Broncos

This was a major statement week for both teams who entered Sunday at 3-0, but neither of whom really had an actual test. When the dust settles I think fans of both teams should remain pretty excited about their teams.

Carolina definitely made mistakes on Sunday, and their defense was exposed by Ezekiel Elliott — but without Christian McCaffery on offense the team still made this a one score game. Assuming McCaffery isn’t out too long there’s every chance this team can get back on track and continue to surprise this season.

Meanwhile the Broncos deserve plenty of props too. The scoreboard might not appear too favorable, but Denver was able to hang very close to Baltimore up until Teddy Bridgewater was forced out with a concussion. The game got away from them after that point, and it became clear a comeback wasn’t in the cards, because Drew Lock is terrible, but this is another case where I think Denver can move past this and put together a good season.

Even if 2021 isn’t the year in Carolina or Denver, both teams are showing that they’re trending in the right direction.

Loser: Urban Meyer

‘Nuff said really. You can find the video, I’m sure.

Winner: Patrick Mahomes

The Chiefs are a bit of a mess this season if we’re all being honest. Defensively Kansas City has been one of the worst teams in the NFL, and when that side of the ball is so bad that Mahomes can’t bail you out, well, you know there’s trouble.

That aside, we can’t just ignore a player throwing five touchdowns — even if it meant just a 12 point win over the Eagles, who are lost and confused this season.

I don’t think the Chiefs have it in 2021. There are just too many issues on defense to imagine this team making a playoff run in a division with the Raiders, Chargers and Broncos (who are better than expected), and I just realized that’s an actual sentence that I said, and not as a joke.

This is all so wild. This season rules.

Loser: Everyone who sat through the Patriots vs. Buccaneers broadcast

The game between Tampa Bay and New England was fantastic. Easily one of the best of the weekend — and it was absolutely ruined by how far the hyperbole in this match was pushed.

Every Patriots series we heard Cris Collinsworth talk about what a win over Tom Brady would mean to Mac Jones. Whenever Brady made a throw there was a cut away to show him warming up before the game, walking into the stadium or hugging Robert Kraft.

Then, just when you thought “this game is so great we don’t need to rely on Jones vs. Brady being a thing,” NBC played this video of Patriots fans leaving voicemails about Brady like it was call in radio, and it was awful. People saying they felt like Tom betrayed them, others saying watching him win a ring in Tampa was tantamount to seeing an ex get married.

Jesus Christ people, dude gave you unparalleled success for 20 damn years. Chill maybe.

Anyway, Mac Jones was good. The Patriots have a solid foundation, the Buccaneers are still the dangerous — and we just didn’t need any of this.

[taeliciousdaelicious]

Blankets and Bubble Teas || osh

Genre: Fluff, sass all the way and everywhere and anywhere

Pairing/s: YouxSehun

Description: When Sehun, for some reason, wanted you to try a new hobby to “spice up your boring life”. But really, that’s just him trying to get you out of the house.

Note/s: So this was supposed to be a Valentine’s Day drabble... And there’s a lot of swearing here.

Word Count: 1, 423

You looked at him, incredulity clear on your face as he shot you his signature resting bitch face. He barged into your apartment a few minutes ago, uninvited. He found you sitting in your bedroom, huddled under your blankets while watching reruns of How To Get Away With Murder. A weird look was directed at you before he suddenly declared, “You need to find a hobby, Y/N. Your life is so plain and boring.”

And thus, here you were now, gaping at him like a fish out of the water. You weren’t sure how long the staring match lasted but it was probably long enough for him to sigh in exasperation and actually give you an annoyed look. “Do I have to dumb it down for you? Why are you even my friend? I swear, this conversation must have killed at least half of my brain cells.”

“Oh Sehun, are you fucking trying to rile me up just because you’re bored with your own life? If so, kindly leave because I’m three seconds away from punching your face” you retorted, feeling you blood staring to boil at his words.You knew he wasn’t that bad but sometimes, his words could be as tactless as bringing a rhinoceros in an establishment with a “No Pets Allowed” policy.

“That’s partially the reason why I’m still friends with you. You’re always fun to rile up” he cheerfully said. Before you could say anything, he cut you off by raising a hand and adding, “However, I’m also here because I am starting to get seriously concerned with your lack of social life.”

“I have a lot of online friends!” you defended yourself. “And you haven’t seen the amount of people I regularly chat to in guilds or during raids. They’re awesome and cool. By the way, have you answered Ryke’s guild meeting invitation?”

“Ryke’s guild mee— Wait, seriously? He sent one?” he asked in surprise. You rolled your eyes and pointedly looked at him. “Yeah, I know. I don’t check my in-game inbox. In my defense, I’m too busy finishing missions and defending myself against boss monsters to actually bother. I’ll answer later. Right now, I’m still not done talking with you, woman.”

You groaned, your tactic to distract him clearly not working. His lips twitched, signaling how amused he was. You childishly huffed, glaring as you grumbled, “Stop, it’s not funny! I am perfectly fine with staying here, thank you very much.”

“Really? You’re fine with staying here?” You nodded in confirmation. “All day?” You nodded again. “So, that means you don’t need to have your daily dose of bubble tea.”

At the mention of the drink, your eyes widened. Vehemently, you threw the blankets off of you and knelt on the bed to make yourself taller. You pointed your index finger at him and cried indignantly, “That a low blow! You know bubble tea is my weakness!”

He smiled smugly, crossing his arms while standing with his feet wide apart. “Well, that’s not my fault. I mean, I am checking if my friend has completely converted out of the bubble tea society.”

You growled and, without thinking, lunged at him. He let out a surprised yelp before you both crashed to the floor. Viola Davis continued her monologue on-screen while the two of you were busy cursing at how painful the fall was.

“Why is your bed so tall, anyways?” Sehun complained. “Do you have a fetish for tall men?”

“What the actual heck, Sehun?” you said, shell-shocked by his words as you looked down at him. Then, remembering your position, you took the opportunity to rain down punches on his chest and slaps on his face. This prompted to curse loudly and hold his arms up to shield himself. “A fetish for tall men? Why in the nine circles of hell did you—“

“Oh, come on. I know you have the hots for me. And I clearly remember that the bed ends right at my crotch if I stand next to it. Or am I mistaken, Y/N?” he countered at you in amusement. It only made the blush rise to your cheeks as you renewed your efforts, cursing at him. Because truth be told, you may or may not be attracted to your friend. However, said friend didn’t need more ego boost. His head — the upper, metaphorical head — is already big enough as it is.

“Shut the fuck up, idiot. Oh my gosh, my poor brain cells died just from this conversation alone” you complained dramatically, trying to get yourself off of him. However, he held on tight, grinning up at you mischievously.

“Why are you even alone on Valentine’s Day, Y/N? It’s the day of love! Time to go out there and discover some new lover or something” he said, chuckling. You huffed and stopped squirming for a moment, acutely aware of your movements so suddenly.

“I don’t need to love someone or have someone love me. Self-love is a thing, dude” you sarcastically replied. “I don’t need a man—or a woman, for that matter —to make me feel good about myself, thank you very much.”

“Fine. Let me just take you out on a date then.” You blinked at him stupidly, wondering what kind of food did he ingest this time to blurt out such an asinine statement. When you realized he wasn’t making any moves to take it back, your jaw started unhinging.

“Oh my fucking— Don’t tell me this is some cliché, twisted curveball in life that is supposed to make me go gooey on you, Oh Sehun” you said threateningly at him. He shot you a look before pushing himself up to a sitting position, making you straddle his lap.

“Excuse you, woman, but I did tell you I have feelings for you way back then, right? Guess who forgot about all that?” he said, narrowing his eyes in accusation. You frowned in confusion before jogging your memory back. Then, you realized which instance he was referring to.

There was this one time he got tipsy enough to make him loose-lipped. The club music was loud but not loud enough to drown out the words spilling out of his mouth. “You know, I really like you, Y/N” he confessed. “Like, like like. And one of this days, I’m going to gain the balls to actually ask you out on a realass date. Or wait for one of our friends to match us up on a blind date out of frustration. Or let fate interfere. Whatever. All I know is that I’m going to be yours and you’re going to be mine whether you like it or not, dumbass.”

You were snapped out of your reverie when he waved a hand in front of your face. “Hello? Earth to Y/N? I know I’m handsome but please, try not to get too distracted. We have more pressing matters at hand here.”

“I can’t believe you had the nerve to insult me while you confessed when you were shitfaced” you blurted out. His cheeks colored and it made amusement shoot up in your system as he sputtered out a response.

“Hey! I was drunk! In my defense, I was as blunt as tactless as the number zero! Wait, does that even make sense? Whatever. But yeah. I like you. Is that clearer now?”

You stared at him for a few seconds, trying to gauge his true feelings at that moment. Then, slowly, you asked, “So... this is not a friendly date like those other times you asked me out to a date?”

“No, it isn’t” he quickly replied.

“And... if I say yes, we’re giving this a try, right?” you clarified. It took him longer to react but you were satisfied with the nod he gave you. “Okay. So, where are we going?”

“Of course!” His excited exclamation had you anticipating, too. “We’re going out to get bubble tea!”

You froze for a moment before raising an eyebrow at him. “Really? You’re asking me out and you can’t think of anything better than that?” you shot at him.

“You didn’t let me finish!” he said indignantly. “I was asking you to come with me to this newly-opened bubble tea shop. Do you remember the store that got rave reviews?”

Your eyes widened at his words. “Are you fucking serious?”

“Dress up and go. Chop chop, princess” he said in a mock prim voice, tapping your thigh cheekily. Rolling your eyes, you got up.

“Alright, out. Be back in fifteen” you told him, turning on your back and opening your closet. You heard him snicker behind you, no doubt already standing up and making his way out of the room.

“Make that ten and I’ll get you cookies.”

You turned around to meet his grinning face and smugly said, “Five and you get me nachos.”

“I highly doubt that, Y/N” he spoke, disbelief evident on his face. You merely smirked at him.

“Watch me, Oh Sehun.”

[justsupportmainthings-blog]

Ana Tip Guide (from a former Mercy Main)

I’m a salty [former] Mercy main and amoung many others trying to find a new main. I hear some afraid of trying their hand at Ana and I say fear not! My aim still isn’t great but since I started playing Ana it’s actually improved! I can play well enough for both a card and player votes in QP. I’m not confident enough with my hits to lead anyone into comp I’m not a true Ana main as of yet lol. In fact I mostly do well because I sharpened my game senses to her kit, THEN put more effort into my aim. It’s something I had to have as Mercy but now I have to make snap decisions quicker based on what I do know what’s happening in the battle right now. The biggest difference is you have to adjust your thinking on positioning cause you cannot move quickly, and having a line of sight is even more important. I went to the training room to get a hang of her kit real quick, then went to bot matches. That only does so much but I could use the ability I want to do even if my aim and timing isn’t perfect yet (fortunately a tank is easy to hit and they absolutely want to be your focus most of the time). When you feel confident enough try QP. Whether it’s attack or defense here are the maps I find her the easiest to use in: Anubis, Kings Row, and  Hanamura. All 3 have clear lines of sight but also corners for you to easily duck around even if you are flanked. So the’re best ones to pvp when you’re still working out her nuances and aim =)

Now tips: Learn where health packs are on the maps.

You can’t sleep dva’s mech when it’s gonna blow up :(

When being flanked: DON’T PANIC. You’ll hit a sleep dart more easily if you are calm. It takes practice and you’ll miss that shot a lot. But if you miss: fear not a biotic grenade is a fantastic deterrent. Especially if you land a hit with your primary fire or your team takes notice of your predicament. Flankers often back off long enough for you get to safety. Learn positions on maps where she is the most powerful yet flexible. You have to balance out not only everyone’s positioning but also where you can easily help extend a push or retreat without being vulnerable it’s tricky. (ex. Kings Row/Defense/Point A is an easy one. Behind the statue, usually to the right near that building. Hard to snipe you and easy to see your team. You can move left with minimal risk while having access to medpackS and cover. All the chances to put enemy on defensive with a well timed sleep dart or nade is powerful)

Ana is a fantastic burst healer to a single target and occasionally to the team with her grenade which also boosts incoming healing while preventing enemies to being healed at all. This includes medpacks. Aside from healing she gets a lot of value out of DETERRING and WEAKENING the enemy. If you aren’t healing consider firing a sleep dart or grenade. This is usually better than just holding these abilities  for “just in case”. The more you use them you’ll also learn when it’s actually a good idea to hold that grenade or sleep dart. It’s a nuance hard to explain in short. Like I said playing Ana required me to hone my game sense more sharply.

IMPORTANT: doing damage doesn’t mean you go for the kill however. Ana is a healer FIRST. Your entire kit is a stronger, more proactive DETERRENT than even Sym or Torb. You make your enemies vulnerable and force them on the defensive. It makes it easier for your team to finish them off. Do you want to go into a battle when the other team is at full health, you can’t get healed, AND your tank is asleep on the job? I sure as heck wouldn’t!

Good Game Sense Reminder: Where are my teammates? Do I have Line of Sight (LoS) so I can heal them if needed? Where are the enemies? Where are their LoS at? What is the ult status of every person in the game? Should I save my sleep dart or nade for the specific occasion? If I need to run away what are my options? Who is missing on the enemy team? Should I worry about someone flanking or perhaps a sniper hitting me from an unexpected angle? What are their ability cooldowns? (some abilities are a bigger threat to you than others ex. Orisa’s halt and genji’s reflect)

I know i didn’t cover everything but this is the best I can do for all potential Ana mains <3

 If in a 1v1 situation - Youtube Video

Combo against a slept target: Shoot, nade, shoot, punch. sleep dart lasts for 5.5 seconds (I can’t hear the inhale) but they wake if damaged. Fortunately they’re still vulnerable as they get back up. Not included in video: Moira - Wait til she uses fade. Relatively easy to sleep dart just read her body language. Moira’s primary fire has a long reach but doesn’t extend around corners. Exploit that.

[schyven]

Rating: G Word Count: 2825 Pairing: KanaDiaMari, ChikaRikoYou (mentioned) Summary: Holidays are stressful.

A/N: Happy belated holidays, @illichi! I heard that some people unfortunately didn’t receive their gifts for the @lovelivesecretsanta2017, so I volunteered to give another gift and got you! I hope you enjoy this!

    Kanan had a love-hate relationship with the holidays, specifically the gift-giving ones. When you had a stupidly wealthy significant other, shopping for them could extremely difficult and frustrating and soul-crushing. Unfortunately for Kanan, she had not one but two stupidly wealthy girlfriends to shop for during the holidays, which meant double the challenge, double the frustration, and double the soul-crushing. With almost every holiday season, Kanan was faced with the exact same problem: What the heck do you get someone who could simply buy what they want, when they want?

    Thanks to a deadly combination of procrastination and her tendency to run from her problems, Kanan found herself in a state of panic with only a week to get both Dia and Mari Christmas gifts. With absolutely no starting point, she knew she needed to turn to her other friends for help. Which was how she found herself sitting at the small table in Chika’s bedroom with Chika and You.

    “A gift for Dia and Mari?” Chika blinked at her for a moment before she tried to think of something. Crossing her arms over her chest and screwing her eyes shut in concentration, Chika hummed thoughtfully as she racked her brain for ideas. Beside her, You glanced up from her needlework and shot Kanan a curious look.

    “Isn’t Christmas in a few days?”

    “You, I came here for help, not to be criticized,” Kanan grumbled, shooting her a glare. You simply shrugged and turned back to the dress she was sewing.

    “Have you tried asking them what they wanted?” she asked, completely unhelpful. Kanan simply continued to glare at her, to which You shrugged in response. “Sorry, I don't really know them as well as you do.” For someone who was supposedly sorry, You certainly didn't sound or look like it. In fact, she looked rather amused by the entire situation.

    “It's hard coming up with something they’d want. They both have the money to just...buy whatever,” Kanan explained with a frustrated huff.

    “Who’s that μ's idol Dia loves so much? Why not get her another poster or something?” You suggested.

    “Dia’s got everything.”

    “Even the rare merch?”

    “You. We’re talking about the person who somehow got μ's original training schedule!”

    “Point taken.”

    They fell into silence as You continued with her sewing and Kanan tried to brainstorm gift ideas for her girlfriends. She lasted a total of two minutes before she gave up.

    “Chika, you've been quiet. Please tell me you have an idea?” Desperate, Kanan looked back at her other friend, who'd been lost in her thoughts since the beginning of the conversation. When Chika remained quiet, clearly still thinking, Kanan heaved a sigh and slumped forward, burying her face into her hands in frustration. “Why is this so hard!?” came her muffled shout. You chuckled, taking further amusement in her distress.

    “I’ve got it!” Chika abruptly shouted, leaping onto her feet with her fists in the air. The other two started at her suddenly burst of energy, and You cursed under her breath when she accidentally pricked herself with her needle. “When it comes to gifts, you gotta give them something from the heart!”

    “‘From the heart’?” Kanan asked.

    “Something that holds meaning, duh! And I've got just the idea!” Chika beamed at her before she scrambled towards her desk. From its messy surface, she fished out her lyric book and tossed it and a pen onto the table. “You can write them a song and perform it for them on Christmas!”

    “But I can't write music!” Kanan whined. Chika rolled her eyes.

    “Dude, you’ve got the main lyricist of Aqours right in front of you—who also happens to be dating Aqours’ main composer!” she shouted. “And one of their costume designers!” she added when You cleared her throat in mild annoyance.

    “... You guys would really do that for me?” It was actually a really good idea—a great idea, even—but Kanan didn't want to step over any boundaries by asking any of them to help her compose a whole song.

    “Well, Chika seems eager to help,” You said. “And I'm sure Riko will be more than happy to help out. It obviously means a lot to you.”

    Kanan glanced between the lyric book and her two friends, still hesitant. She thought about it, contemplating on whether they'd have enough time and if it was really okay for her to ask this of them, while Chika and You smiled encouragingly at her. After a few minutes, she made her decision.

    “Thanks, you two. I really appreciate that you're willing to help me write a song for them,” she said.

    “Of course we’d help! You're our friend!” Chika replied, red eyes sparkling with excitement now that she's gotten the ‘okay’ to help. “Let’s get Riko over right away so that we can get started!”

    “Are you sur—” Before Kanan could finish, Chika barreled over to her balcony and shouted over the railing.

    “RIKO! COME OVER! WE’VE GOT A SONG TO WRITE!”

---

    Mari loved, loved, loved the holidays! She loved the festive atmosphere, all of the merrymaking, the time spent with friends and family—everything about the holidays were absolutely wonderful!

    She did have one qualm, however—Just one. And that was the “no expensive gifts” rule that Dia absolutely insisted upon and enforced as though it were law.

    It just wasn't fair, if you asked her. How else was she supposed to show her lovely girlfriends how much she loved them if she couldn't shower them with presents!? No fair, Dia, no fair!

    Usually, she'd simply break that rule and get them something really nice (Dia certainly didn't complain that one time she received that limited edition Eli figurine for her birthday!). However, as much as she loved getting a rise out of Dia, she decided to play by the rules for once. After all, she'd been away from them for two years and she wanted to forge as many positive memories with the two of them as humanly possible, for the rest of her life.

    Thanks to that, though, she had a dilemma: What was something “cheap” that she could get either of them and still express her love for them?

    And so, she turned to her fellow Guilty Kiss members for some help.

    “You're shopping on a budget?” Yoshiko had every right to sound skeptical. Of all people to be shopping on a budget, it obviously wasn't Mari “I could buy you Antarctic” Ohara. When Mari had suddenly dragged her and Riko to Numazu’s shopping center, she hadn't been expecting it to be some half-baked prank. “And I'm a angel blessed by god—Stop pulling my leg! The great Yohane sees through all your lies!”

    “It’s true! It’s true!” Mari insisted with a pout. “Dia’s being a big meanie and said we’re not allowed to get each other expensive gifts!”

    “That certainly sounds like her,” Riko chuckled. She spared the shops around them a quick glance before directing her gaze back onto Mari. “Might I recommend getting them something practical?” She jumped back when Mari whirled around and jabbed a finger at her.

    “That's booooooring!” she shouted in English. How dare Riko suggest something like that! Her beautiful girlfriends deserved something more exciting! “It needs to come from the heart, Riko! Something that screams passion and shiny!”

    “‘P-Passion and shiny’?” Riko asked, nervous. From their time together, she's learned the hard way that “shiny�� could mean many, many things to Mari, and to have “passion” included in the package could only mean trouble.

    “Of course, Lily!” Yoshiko jumped in. This, of course, only added to Riko’s anxiety. “When it comes to gift-giving, the gods and spirits demand only the most sincerest of offerings! Think, Lily, wouldn’t you rather be given a gift to aligns with your heart’s desires?”

    “I-I can see what you're saying, but I also don't see the harm in a gift that’s prac—”

    “What did You and Chikacci get you for your birthday?” Mari demanded, trying to get some gift ideas. Almost immediately, a red-hot blush covered Riko’s face and her hands shot up defensively in front of her.

    “N-N-Nothing!” she shrieked, voice several octaves higher in her flustered state. “They didn't get me anything!” Her shouting drew some stares, and Yoshiko huffed in annoyance.

    “We both know those little demons got Lily dou—ACK!” In a flash, Riko had the younger girl in a headlock.

    “No one asked you!” At this point, Mari concluded that she was making zero progress towards her goal for the evening, and all of their shouting was starting to draw a crowd of annoyed shoppers. Deciding that Riko and Yoshiko were too busy wrestling with each other to be of any help, Mari wandered off to look at the stores for some gift ideas (which she probably should've been doing since the beginning). Looking at the various items on display, she sighed and frowned at the lack of anything noteworthy.

    It took all of her willpower to skip over the pricier stores.

    Riko and Yoshiko eventually caught up with her, both disheveled and annoyed from their fight. They walked alongside her as she browsed the shops, occasionally pointing out suggestions. Riko remained adamant about practical gifts, pointing out school supplies for Dia and workout clothes for Kanan. Yoshiko offered more unique suggestions, presenting lucky charms and trinkets for either of them. Nothing stood out. Nothing was good enough.

    “We still have about two weeks before Christmas,” Riko eventually said, exasperated. They had been looking around for almost two hours now. It was getting late, they had school tomorrow, and they still needed to work on their homework. “Why don't we come back another time and try again?”

    Mari was about to concede defeat when her suddenly caught sight of a small, unassuming, shop in the corner of her eye. Whipping around, she dashed over to it, much to Riko’s dismay and Yoshiko’s surprise. The shop was nothing special. Small, plain, and easily overlooked. However, what caught her attention were the small dolphin and penguin plushies sitting on display.  They were small, barely bigger than her hand, and lumpy.

    They were perfect.

    “Are you serious?” Yoshiko asked, eyeing the misshapen plushies with a look of disgust.

    Oh, she was deadly serious.

---

    If it weren't for calendars and her friends’ adoration for the holidays, Dia would honestly forget about a majority of them. It wasn't that she detested the holidays or had bad experiences with them—On the contrary, her friends and family made them enjoyable enough. She just simply couldn’t be bothered with them.

    That is, until this year.

    “You’re overthinking things, sis,” Ruby reminded her for the umpteenth time that afternoon.

    “You don’t think I’m rushing things?” Dia asked for the umpteenth time that afternoon. She had gone to a small jewelry shop in Tokyo an entire month before Christmas to purchase gifts for Kanan and Mari. She had taken Ruby and Hanamaru along with her to 1) help her navigate Tokyo’s mess of a transit system and 2) assist her with picking out her gifts.

    They had also been brought along with moral and emotional support.

    “It's not cheesy or cliche?” Despite her sister and Hanamaru’s gentle tones and warm smiles, Dia still felt incredibly anxious and uncertain. She nervously eyed the display case in front of them.

    She loved Kanan and Mari very much—This, Dia was absolutely certain about. However, what she wasn't so certain about was whether or not she was making the right decision. When one considered the two year gap they had in their relationship, they've only officially been “together” for a relatively short amount of time.

    The last thing she wanted was to rush things.

    Dia had spent hours, days, weeks, and almost a month thinking over this decision. She'd done her research, and obtained the information she needed. Kanan and Mari deserve nothing but the best, after all. However, would she scare them off with her eagerness?

    Perhaps she needed to reconsider.

    “It’s kinda cheesy,” Hanamaru said. Dia was moments away from simply leaving the store. When she turned around, however, she saw that Hanamaru had a gentle smile on her face (as opposed to the teasing smirk she'd envisioned in her mind). ”But Kanan and Mari wouldn't be bothered by that.”

    “...You really think so?”

    “Dia,” Ruby abruptly spoke up, voice firm. When Dia winced at her stern tone, she placed a comforting hand on her arm, coaxing Dia to look at her. Ruby’s expression was absolutely resolute as she said: “They both love you so, so much.”

    Dia stared at Ruby silently, letting her words sink in. She then called for over an assistant, turning her back to Ruby and Hanamaru just in time to miss their celebratory high-five.

---

    For a song that was written, composed, and choreographed in a week, Kanan thought she pulled off a decent performance. Of course, Chika, You, and Riko had all been a huge help, and she would be sure to thank them all again when she had the chance. For now, she had to survive the crushing hug Mari was giving her.

    “Oh that was so shiny, Kanan!” the blonde shrieked in her ear. “You've had me swooning the whole time!” Kanan returned the hug with equal fervor, lifting her slightly off the ground and burying her nose in soft blonde locks. Dia watched them fondly from her spot on Mari’s bed. Kanan and Mari remained locked in the hug for a few moments before Mari practically sprang free with a loud gasp. “I need to give you your gifts!”

    She pushed Kanan towards the bed, motioning for her to sit before scrambling over to her closet. As Mari dug around in her closet, Kanan scooted closer to Dia, intertwining their fingers together and offering her a warm smile. Dia returned the smile, though it seemed a little stiff. Before Kanan could comment on it, Mari plopped down between them, nearly crushing their hands and giggling uncontrollably. Without a word, she thrust a carelessly wrapped box into each of their hands, yellow eyes gleaming with excitement and expectation. Dia tilted her head in confusion before carefully unwrapping her gift. Kanan, on the other hand, tore through the wrapping paper quickly and popped open the box.

    They found lump, misshapen stuffed animals in the boxes.

    “So! What do you think?! They’re shiny, right?!” Mari asked, practically shaking in her excitement. She nudged their shoulders with her own, prompting them to respond.

    “I’m surprised you actually listened to me, for once,” Dia admitted, with a small smile. She lifted the penguin plush she’d been gifted, carefully turning it over in her hands as she inspected it. It was surprisingly very soft. “Thank you, Mari. I will treasure it.”

    “Mari.” Dia and Mari turned to Kanan, and found her close to tears with the dolphin plush squished to her chest. “I love it! It’s so soft and cute I could die!” With one arm, she pulled Mari into another hug, who eagerly returned it with a laugh. They then turned to Dia, causing her to stiffen under their expectant gazes. Dia fidgeted a bit, clearly nervous.

    “Before I give you my gift, I would like you both to know that I love you both very much,” Dia began. Kanan and Mari straightened up, caught off guard by Dia’s serious tone. She took a deep breath before continuing: “We’ve been through so much together, and I am so happy to have you two by my side once again. I would like to remain by your sides.” Dia reached into her pocket and fished out two small ring boxes. With a deep, calming breath, Dia offered them the boxes, opening them to reveal two rings with red, green, and purple stones. “We’re too young to consider marriage, but I can at least promise myself to you two until then, and I would love it if you two were to do the same.” As she finished speaking, she averted her gaze to hide her flushed face and not subject herself to their reactions.

    Her gift had them both completely speechless.

    Suddenly, Mari tackled Dia, nearly knocking the rings from her hands and causing her to cry out in surprise as she pulled her into a tight hug and buried her face into the crook of her neck.

    “Yes! Oh my god, yes yes yes!” she yelled, voice choked up with tears. Before Dia could respond, Kanan swept them up in a crushing hug.

    “Yes!”

    They eventually pulled back and allowed Dia to slip the rings onto their hands. She also took out a third box, revealing that she had also gotten herself a ring to match theirs. They spent the rest of the night cuddling and showering each other with affection.

---

    “Hey, wait a minute! No fair, Dia! I thought you said no expensive gifts!?”

    “What is or isn't ‘expensive’ is subjective, Mari.”

    “...damn you, rich people...”

[real-life-pine-tree]

Rehabilitation: Standard Issues (9/?)

Side effects may include a loss of self-identity and individuality, frequent nightmares, questioning your own existence, severe mental trauma, constant panic attacks, spontaneous crying at random moments, and a strong desire to stay with loved ones at all cost. Co-written with @violetganache42​​​​​​. Takes place between Chapters 6 and 7 of Arc-V Aftermath.

"Whatever. I'm gonna go see what Yuya's up to. Hopefully it's a lot more interesting than snobby rich stuff."

Zarc left Yuto’s mind because his XYZ reincarnation hadn’t told Lulu about how he was still lingering around; heck, even he knows Ray has the same ability as he does now, only she can only do it with the Bracelet Girls. Not only that, but after spending the morning in the Obsidian residence, from the discussion of how wealthy people live their lives far differently than what he expected to Yuto’s amusing hair mishap, he needed someone else to talk to after witnessing this rich stuff fiasco. Hopefully, seeing what Yuya was up to can help concentrate on something else instead of this, especially because it’s not like the American cartoons he has seen.

As he whisked away from the city’s Heartland quarter, he traveled into the Paradise section where the morning was taking place; as of matter of fact, the morning rush was happening in all four corridors, with everyone busy with their own schedules for the day, so he wanted to see how Yuya was doing for today after attending the Faire. Unfortunately, as he entered into his mind, he was unaware—for a short time—of the fact his Pendulum reincarnation was in a pickle about something. What could he be so focused on that made him feel stressed, pressured, and unsure?

"Uh... Hi, Yuya?"

Even though he was awake, Yuya hasn’t gotten out of bed to have his mother’s pancakes for breakfast yet because he has been staring at his deck for a while, shuffling and scanning through his Performapals, his signature ace Odd-Eyes Pendulum Dragon, and the dragon’s current variations as his thoughts dragged him away into his own mental conscious…that is until Zarc’s arrival caused him to snap back into reality and jump up from his bed.

"Wow, you're awake and still in your pajamas? Something must be on your mind."

Yuya let out a groan as he stood up. "Morning Zarc," he said.

"So what's bothering you?"

"Oh, nothing," Yuya lied. "Just trying to figure out how these new Magician cards can work with my deck."

"Yeah, I'm not falling for that. You're technically a part of me, so I can tell you're upset about something."

"I told you, I'm fine," Yuya insisted. "It's not like I feel empty about the whole separation thing and I don't deserve to be a pro anymore." He let out an obviously fake laugh.

Zarc simply stood beside Yuya’s bed with his arms crossed, giving him an expression that clearly reads he wasn’t buying it, complete with an eyebrow raised upward. He knew what Yuya said was exactly what’s been bothering him: ever since Leo performed the blood separation, he has been feeling empty without his counterparts around and he feels like he isn’t an actual Pro Duelist because of that emptiness.

"You can drop the act. I know you miss the other dragons."

Yuya sighed sadly. "I became a pro thanks to Dark Rebellion, Clear Wing, and Starving Venom. But now..." He fanned out his Extra Deck. "...even their Odd-Eyes upgrades are gone. My deck feels incomplete."

"So you're short a few cards. Big deal. Can't you go to a card shop and get new ones?"

"It's not that simple," Yuya explained. "When I accepted myself as you, I felt complete. I finally discovered my dueling identity-"

"Yuya, please shut up for once. You're not me, you bozo! You're you! You have goofy circus pets in your deck instead of just mystical Magicians and Sorcerers! Heck, before I gave into peer pressure, my Dueltaining mimicked basic gymnastics. So basically, you are NOTHING like me!"

"But-" Yuya started to say.

"But nothing. I'll even help you get started. Take out your pendant and put it next to Tuning Magician."

"Why?" Yuya asked.

"Trust me on this one. You'll thank me later."

He shuffled through his cards and stopped when he found Tuning Magician somewhere in the middle of his deck. He pulled the card out and placed it in front of him before putting the rest of his cards on top of his bureau where his pendant rested. With his left hand, he grabbed onto the string that held the pendant and lied it down next to Tuning Magician to see if there would be some kind of reaction. So far, there seems to be no results from this and he was questioning exactly why Zarc wanted him to do this and if he knew what he was doing. Just then, the pendant started to glow blue-green, the same color that coincides with the Synchro Dimension, whether it was from Yugo when he Awakened, Rin, or the aura of the dimension itself.

"Wh-What's going on?!" Yuya asked.

"It's the true power of your pendant. It can transform any plain old monster card and unlock its hidden Pendulum abilities, kind of like when it gave Odd-Eyes, your first two Magician cards, and a good chunk of your Performapals much-needed Pendulum makeovers."

Yuya was left mesmerized by this small yet amazing performance. The green energy from the pendant synchronized with the Tuning Magician card and it began glowing the same color before changing it to light blue, the same color as the pendant. As the card glowed, energy ascended from the bottom of the card, unlocking Tuning Magician’s Pendulum abilities and transforming her into Harmonizing Magician, a Scale 8 Level 4 DARK Spellcaster-Type Pendulum-Tuner monster with 0 ATK and DEF. Her monster effects prohibit her from being special summoned from the Extra Deck and used as Fusion, Synchro, or XYZ Material unless all the Materials are Pendulum Magicians. Additionally, if she was Pendulum Summoned from the hand, a Pendulum Magician monster—except herself—can be special summoned in defense position with their effects negated and can be banished when it leaves the field, but this can be done only once per turn. Her newly awakened Pendulum effect allows her to give every monster Yuya controls 100 ATK and DEF for every face-up Pendulum Magician on the field.

Yuya was at a loss of words and his mouth was left ajar from what he witnessed. His pendant didn’t just awaken Tuning Magician’s Pendulum abilities like it did with most of his monsters… It caused her to undergo a metamorphosis! He wasn’t sure if this was actually her Pendulum counterpart and if she could switch between herself and Harmonizing Magician, much like how he and Zuzu switched between their dimensional counterparts when their souls all harbored an individually respective body.

"Zarc, was Tuning Magician originally one of your cards?" Yuya asked after he regained his voice.

"Nah, I never had that card in my deck. But I must say, that's a much better look for her. Maybe all that love and care you gave her caused her to evolve into that new form."

Yuya’s eyebrows rose up in epiphany because what Zarc said could be true. He picked up Harmonizing Magician’s card and was locked into a deep stare with it, reminiscing the monster’s past. Jack Atlas did find Tuning Magician when he was a child and wanted to return her to her original owner, but he could only do that by becoming a strong Duelist, which inspired him to take part in the Friendship Cup and become the Master of Faster and New Domino City’s Duel King. When he handed her to Sam, the latter interpreted his statement of her being more suitable for him as being a weak monster, which was why he gave that card to Yuya. Even if that wasn’t the actual interpretation of what Jack said, he was glad to incorporate her into his deck; with Harmonizing Magician, he might have to rethink his Synchro strategies a little.

He then heard a knock on the door and rose his head up to see who it was, only for him to greeted by Sora, who wanted to see what his adopted older brother was up to. There was no way they were going to miss out on Yoko’s pancakes for breakfast.

"Geez, you're still in your pajamas?" Sora asked. "What's up with you?"

"Sora, do you know any card shops?" Yuya asked in response, taking Zarc's advice of getting new cards.

"'Course I do," Sora answered. "Before this whole dimension war thing started, the Professor would treat his best students for a field trip to Domino City. One of the best hangout spots was Card Craze, a local card shop."

"That's perfect!" Yuya suddenly exclaimed as he rushed over to his closet. "Contact Zuzu while you're at it!"

"Well someone is unusually cheerful," Sora noticed.

Yuya started to rummage through his closet. "Why wouldn't I be?" he asked. "I need to come up with brand new strategies with new cards!"

"Oh, right," Sora remembered. "You're now a pro-"

"Who cares about that?" Yuya asked. "I'll talk to Declan about my new dueling status later." He took out a maroon t-shirt. "For now, it's time I regain my identity as an individual!"

Identity? Why would he focus on regaining his individuality instead of starting his new life as Pro Duelist? Sora pondered on why Yuya was concentrated on figuring himself out, but he didn’t mind it; as long as he gets to check out Card Craze, that’s fine with him. Now that he thought about it, he wondered if Zuzu wanted to join them, so he notified Yuya he’ll be downstairs, which was responded with an “okay” as he pulled out a pair of blue jeans, a white, short-sleeved hoodie with the hood and pockets bearing an orange hue, a plain black chocker, and his usual pair of sneakers. He knew having a different attire would help himself show his individuality during his personal mission.

After he got dressed, he ran towards the firepole and leapt towards it, holding onto it firmly with his right hand and his legs wrapped around it, leading to him sliding down to the first floor. Even before he landed on the floor, he could smell the essence of his mom’s pancakes coming from the kitchen and couldn’t wait to have some. What slowed him down, however, were some of the family’s pets greeting him, including En, Core, Kilo, and Watt.

"Good morning," Yuya cheerfully said as he knelt down to scratch En's belly as the corgi laid on his back. "It's great to see all of you!"

"Yuya, breakfast is ready!" Yoko called out from the kitchen.

"Coming!" Yuya replied as he stood to his full height.

He scurried into the dining room, with the pets following him from behind, where he saw Yusho and Sora already at the table and Yoko cooking some pancakes for them. Sora was just about done contacting Zuzu to see if she had any plans for today and if she wanted to come with him and Yuya to Card Craze.

Yuya sat next to Sora at the table and started helping himself to pancakes. "Uh, Yuya?" the Frightfur user asked. "I'm not sure Zuzu is coming."

"Mmm?" Yuya asked, already eating his breakfast.

"She said she hasn't been interested in dueling lately," Sora explained. "Ever since the separation procedure, she's been feeling indifferent about her Melodious cards. Almost like they feel foreign to her."

Yuya swallowed his mouthful of pancake. "What?!" he asked.

"That's what she just told me," Sora continued. "She wants to focus more on her dreams of being a music composer. In fact, she was apparently writing a new violin piece when I called her."

"I know that bit," Yuya recalled. "Ever since we were little, she has always dreamt of playing a grand symphony to everyone in the world."

Zuzu had always enjoyed orchestras and symphonies when she was a child, even before the grand opening of You Show Duel School. Just watching people play their assigned sheets of music depending on if they’re part of the woodwinds, brass, percussions, or strings group fascinated her because of how coordinated and well-timed each group member plays thanks to the conductor. She even did a well-researched essay on Tchaikovsky as part of a history assignment and gave a copy of it to her music teacher, so why would she not be interested in dueling anymore? Her Melodious monsters emphasize her love for orchestras, from their names referencing famous composers to their regal designs that resemble musical notes or musical-related objects.

"Wait, so she really has a violin?" Sora asked.

"Well yeah," Yuya confirmed. "She writes and performs her own original music. She's so good at performing that it's why she joined the school band."

"That's a relief," Sora remarked. "But I don't like how she apparently abandoned dueling."

"Me neither," Yuya agreed after swallowing another mouthful of pancake. "I hope she's feeling alright."

Meanwhile, at the Boyle residence, Zuzu adjusted a few sheets of paper with musical notes onto a stand to help her see what notes to play. She took a few steps away to pick up a small case from the floor and placed it on her bed, opening it up to reveal her violin and bow. Taking them out of the case and holding the violin in her left hand and the bow in her right, she walked back to her stand where her newest and original piece rested. She really was going to practice performing her song, and after everything that had happened up to the blood separation, this was the perfect opportunity to do so.

"'The Enchanting Nightingale'? Is this one of your original works?"

Zuzu raised her head up a little and had a subtle yet noticeable surprised look on her face. Standing in front of her was an apparition of her incarnation Ray, who was browsing through the sheet music; although Zuzu wasn’t expecting to have some company, this wasn’t the first time this has happened to her.

"...It is," Zuzu finally answered.

"I take it that you're surprised by my appearance."

"I am," Zuzu confirmed. "I thought you were spending the day in Rin's mind."

"I did earlier today, but ever since she and Yugo started dating, I thought it might be best to give them some privacy. So with Celina busy getting a school uniform for Paradise Prep and Lulu unaware of my presence, I figured I might as well hang out with you. So what's with this particular song?"

"It's something I wrote shortly after I was revived," Zuzu explained. "The song's story is about a guardian angel that takes the form of a little bird."

"So that stuff you told Sora is true? You're feeling a bit bothered because of me?"

"No!" Zuzu blurted out. She calmed down a bit. "Having you in my head is great, but that's not what's bothering me."

"Does it have to do with those special lessons with-"

"Shh!" Zuzu blurted out. "I want to surprise Yuya. He can't know about..." She took out two cards from her deck. "...this."

These two cards were Opheli the Melodious Operetta and Beetho the Melodious Songstress, which were both created by Declan. Having their cards based on Pendulumstatues White Flower and White Butterfly respectively, they’re both LIGHT Fairy-Type Pendulum monsters, but Opheli is a Scale 9 Level 4 monster with 400 ATK and DEF while Beetho is a Scale 1 Level 10 monster with 1000 ATK and DEF. They also have effects that work in a similar manner in different circumstances given the types of cards they’re specifically targeted towards: Beetho’s Pendulum effect gives all the Melodious Divas and Melodious Maestras that Zuzu controls 200 ATK once per turn and her monster effect permits her owner to add a Melodious Spell card from her deck to her hand if she was special summoned; likewise, Opheli’s Pendulum effect increases all the Melodious Choirs that Zuzu controls 200 ATK once per turn and her monster effect allows a Fusion Spell card to be added from the deck to the hand if she was special summoned.

"Ah, so you want to surprise your boyfriend with new summoning techniques."

Zuzu blushed heavily. "Yuya isn't my boyfriend," she denied. "He's just a friend with pretty eyes and very soft hair." But Ray let out a laugh in response.

"You can't hide your feelings from me. Lulu might have all my love and affection, but even I know you have a crush on Yuya Sakaki."

Ray was right; despite acting like the straight man in all of Yuya’s acts of buffoonery, Zuzu has developed a crush on him over the years. Even before and during their involvement in the Interdimensional War, she had shown evident signs of him harboring feelings for him, and overtime, he had soon realized his true emotions for her in his desperate mission to rescue her. Zuzu, however, tried her darnest to deny this obvious speculation despite knowing it was true.

"I don't have time to think about this," Zuzu said, attempting to change topics. She got into position for playing her violin. "I need to see if I got rusty after all these weeks."

As she held onto the violin, her fingers pressed down on specific areas of the strings and slid the bow across to create the sound of the first note. Its pitch was exactly how it was depicted on the first page of the sheet music. No problems so far. She then moved onto the next few notes, swiftly shifting her fingers to different places and sliding the bow back and forth, capturing the varying tones. So far, so good. She proceeded to go through the page to tackle all the notes in her musical number, only stopping to flip it to the back side to continue. This was admittedly a minor nitpick for Zuzu; she enjoyed playing the violin and writing all her compositions, but if there was one thing about practicing, it’s pausing in order to get to the next couple pages. It didn’t bother her back then, but she hasn’t played the violin in what felt like forever. Even though she has the techniques memorized, she wished she could practice “The Enchanting Nightingale” straight through without dealing with the hassle of turning the pages.

As Zuzu continued her violin practice, a voice interrupted her concentration. "Zuzu, Yuya and Sora are here!" Skip called out.

"Tell them I'm busy!" Zuzu replied, not breaking concentration from her music.

A few seconds later, Skip called out again. "They still want to speak to you!" he said.

"I told you, I'm busy!" Zuzu insisted.

Unfortunately for her, Yuya and Sora still went to her bedroom because they were worried about why she suddenly became disinterested in Duel Monsters after regaining her body. As for Zuzu, her predicament did involve dueling but not what her friends were thinking; she didn’t want to spoil her surprise for Yuya about her new Pendulum monsters and something else she has been practicing.

"Alright Zuzu, start talking!" Yuya demanded.

However, Zuzu didn't respond, wanting to concentrate on her music.

"Sora said you lost interest in Duel Monsters!" Yuya continued. "Is it because of Ray?"

"It has nothing to do with Ray," Zuzu replied as she continued her song.

"Does it have to do with that 'world symphony' Yuya mentioned?" Sora asked.

"If you mean my dreams of being a professional music composure, then yes," Zuzu answered. "It's more important to me than being a Dueltainer. I've been focusing on dueling for so long that I lost track of my true dream."

"What, so you're just gonna abandon dueling all together?" Yuya asked, starting to get annoyed.

"It's only temporary," Zuzu clarified. "I'll get back interested in dueling once I perfect my violin skills."

How long will that take exactly? Surely, she can’t spend so much time devoted to her dream career. She has already shown to be a great violinist during her time at Paradise Prep and she has easily managed the tasks of going to two schools, one for education and one for dueling, so if it wasn’t Ray that led her to abruptly stop dueling, then was it the war itself? Yuya’s irritation at the thought of her decision began to gradually boil; he does respect her dream for the future, but why would she do this to him? Sora spotted Yuya’s pacing change in emotion and stepped off to the side in worry while gesturing his head at Zuzu to have her see what’s going on.

Zuzu stopped practicing her song and carefully placed her violin on her bed. "Yuya...?" she asked, sounding concern.

"Please don't leave me..." Yuya begged, his eyes glowing red. "I beg of you, please don't leave me..."

Zuzu was surprised by the sudden mood swing. "I'm not going to leave you-"

"Do you even know what happened to me during the Interdimensional War?" Yuya interrupted. "When you faded in that green light...I lost control of myself." A desperate look appeared on his face. "I need to be with you, Zuzu Boyle. You complete me."

The green light… She knew this has recently become a trigger for them, but did it mentally hurt him that bad? Having her transferred into ARC-V against her will was the scariest thing that happened to him; it was even worse when all the dimension hopping in his dire rescue mission was nearly all for nothing because he was extremely close to losing her for good, especially when the Standard Dimension became the Pendulum Dimension. With everyone starting their new chapters of their lives, Yuya was hoping he would do the same thing with her. Now that she thought about it, she was certain this Card Craze place would have something that helps suit her surprise for him.

Zuzu let out a sigh of defeat. "Alright," she said. "If you really want me to come to Card Craze with you, I'll come." She started to put her violin and bow back in the case and her sheet music in a nearby folder.

"Great!" Yuya happily said, almost like his irritation never happened. "I've never been to this Card Craze place before, but Sora said it's a hangout spot for Duel Academy students."

"Just leave all the talking to me," Sora informed.

"How come?" Zuzu asked.

"Rumor had it that the store was once operated by the Rare Hunters, a group of rogue card thieves led by dueling cheat Keith Howard," Sora explained. "They kinda disappeared after the whole dimension crisis, but I suspect they're still hiding in Domino City."

"Rare Hunters...?" Yuya mused to himself.

Where did he hear that phrase before? He couldn’t help but ponder on who this group is because he felt like he should know who they are. Maybe in another life? That could be it because he could picture in his head what appeared to be Domino City but looked more like an actual Japanese city instead of the one he and his friends were used to. All around him were dozens, hundreds, maybe even thousands of Duelists battling each other and receiving these transparent cards with portions of a full picture called Locator Cards. Was some kind of tournament going on? From the look of things, it was, especially when kept hearing what the name of it was: Battle City.

From within his memories, his surroundings weren’t the only thing he remembers. He seemed to know what took place at the time because he just so happened to be one of the many Duelists taking part in Battle City, which was weird considering he only participated in only two tournaments. Maybe this was his alternate self? Who knows. He did perceive the fact he only attended because he wanted to stop the Rare Hunters and their leader from getting their hands on the three Egyptian God Cards. This was peculiar because the Rare Hunters appeared to be more of a larger threat than the ones Sora explained; they even had a different leader who went by the name Marik Ishtar. Although a handful of them are willing to do his bidding, he would brainwash or deceive others into joining him, such as a former stage magician who became sadistic and insane as he challenged the alternate Yuya on who was the true Dark Magician master.

"Uh, Yuya?" Sora asked. "You feeling alright?"

"Huh?" Yuya muttered, snapping back to reality. "Oh, I'm fine." He sheepishly rubbed the back of his head, mussing up his fluffy hair in the process. "Let's just get to Card Craze already."

Sora led the way as Yuya and Zuzu went downstairs and out of the house to the nearest bus stop. According to the bus schedule that was displayed online through Sora’s Duel Disk, the earliest bus they can from Paradise to Domino will be arriving in less than ten minutes for its 10 AM departure. It was rather shocking that there were already buses that traveled through all four sections of the main city shortly after the Original Dimension returned; then again, this must be practice for them to get adapted to driving through a much bigger city.

A bus soon pulled up in front of the trio to pick them up and they all went through the open door; they then sat down in a few seats that were in between the front and middle portions of the bus before leaving the neighborhood. As the scenery transformed from Paradise’s modern city structures to Domino’s Venice-esque landscape, Yuya couldn’t shake off the feeling of this Arkana person he was suddenly “remembering.” This was his first time hearing about the Rare Hunters yet he felt like he has known about them for a long time; the ones Sora recalled sounded less notorious than their alternate selves, but nonetheless, they still weren’t to be treated lightly.

"Hey Sora, you mentioned someone named Keith Howard," Yuya recalled. "Who is he?"

"The biggest cheat in dueling history," Sora answered. "He cheated his way through professional tournaments, but his methods were usually overlooked. However, during the final round of the Intercontinental Championship tournament a few years ago, his opponent caught him pulling spare cards from underneath his wristbands, specifically countless 7 Completeds. He was instantly disqualified for not only sneaking in more cards despite the 40-card deck limit, but also having more than three copies of a single card. He was banned from taking part in future tournaments since then, officially earning the nickname 'the Bandit'."

"Is that why he joined the Rare Hunters?" Zuzu asked.

"He didn't just join the Rare Hunters," Sora continued. "Rumor has it he founded that group out of spite. Now he makes a living hunting Duelists for their rare cards."

That didn’t sound good at all yet he had a couple questions. If this was because Keith has so much spite against those that banned him, why was he searching for rare cards specifically? For that matter, how come no one in Domino has actually brought it up to the public? Was it because they view him and the Rare Hunters as a minor threat? Yuya just somehow could tell the danger they actually pose even though he has never interacted with them before.

"Alright passengers, we've arrived at Domino City, Building 134 in Block 75," the bus driver announced. "Remember to take all your belongings before leaving the bus."

Yuya turned his head from the window to where the bus driver was sitting, suddenly getting another feeling of déjà vu. Something about his voice sounded very familiar to him. Could it be? No, it couldn’t, Yuya thought. As he, Zuzu, and Sora got up from their seats, they all departed the bus through the door, where he caught a glimpse of what the driver looked like. He had spiky, black hair with a ponytail in the back and several thin strands on the front sides of his face and a smaller strand over his forehead. His eyes were a piercing emerald green and his skin was darker than a fair skin tone yet lighter than a tan one. What made him stand out to Yuya the most was his six-sided die earring on his left ear and his pendant he wore around his neck. Yuya slightly gasped at the person he saw, and right when he got off the bus, he was still in disbelief at the identity of the bus driver.

"Yuya?" Zuzu asked. "You alright? You seem to space out a lot today."

"I'm not sure..." Yuya admitted.

"Well we can worry about it later," Sora said. He cheerfully grinned. "Time to visit the old hangout spot!"

[thenuanceddebater]

Civil War Response to @uppermandible

So, for whatever reason, I can’t reblog the response @upermandible made to my Civil War post which you can find here. I don’t know why that is, but assuming that I wasn’t blocked and that it’s a tumblr glitch, I’ll do the response here instead. 

so because the union made a law that nobody could leave it the south was just supposed to sit there and take its unfair treatment?

No, but this law “the Union” made (which actually comes from the Constitution which was ratified by both the North and the South) means that the Confederacy has no legitimate right to secede under US law. That means that every single action the Confederacy takes is an act of rebellion against the United States, and that under US law the Confederate States of America doesn’t actually exist. Hence, why the term “Civil War” is still applicable legally speaking. You don’t seem to understand this based on the initial analogy you used (which discussed divorce-- which is a legal matter) and based on your later thoughts in this response as well. 

lets remember that the southern states were disproportionately footing the bill for federal expenses, and were being locked out on how that money was spent, because they had less power in the federal government than the northern states

Disproportionately footing the bill for what exactly? They were being taxed based on population. They artificially exapnded their population numbers through the 3/5 Compromise in the US Constitution. They also agreed to the form of government that was now instituting the bills they didn’t like very much. Also, if you really want to pretend that economics and taxation (or even tariffs) were the primary cause of the Civil War, you’re going to need a heck of a lot of evidence. Since most of the documents of secession didn’t actually mention economics, taxes, or tariffs in the slightest. Do you know what most of them did mention? Slavery. And mistreatment because of slavery. So, please provide me with some primary sources that prove your position here. Otherwise, I’m going to dismiss your argument based on the evidence that actually exists. Oh, and this entire thing is just one gigantic switching the goalpost from “the Confederacy was legitimate in attacking Fort Sumter” to “the Confederacy had moral and understandable reasons for attacking Fort Sumter”. Moral and understandable reasons =/= legitimate. 

the south was not going to be able to afford much of what the federal government was pushing for, and they were otherwise helpless to stop it. their only recourse to this was simply to pack their shit, show Lincoln their favorite finger, then make like horse turds and hit the trail.

You... are aware that the South was wealthier than the North prior to the Civil War, right? Much of that wealth was in land and slaves, but still the South was not a poor area of the United States. Also, none of this makes the Confederate attack on Fort Sumter legitimate. That’s not how legitimacy works. You can tell whatever sob story you want about oppression, but legally speaking oppression does not guarantee legitimacy (especially when that oppression is mostly imagined as opposed to actually extant). 

throughout the interim leading up to the firing on fort sumter, the union was increasingly aggressive to the seceding states. deploying troops to occupy Kentucky, blockading the south, etc. 

...And we’re just going to completely ignore how the Confederacy was attempting to seize federal forts and weapons? Because that doesn’t fit the narrative? Okay. Oh, and also Kentucky declared neutrality at the beginning of the war, but after an attempt by Confederate General Leonidas Polk to take the state failed, they petitioned the Union Army for help. So, that goes against your narrative as well. Especially because Kentucky didn’t come fully under Union control until 1862- well after Fort Sumter fell and the Civil War began. So, maybe check your facts on that one. They seem to be a little off. 

As for blockading the South, you are aware that seeing as the Confederacy had absolutely no legal legitimacy whatsoever it was considered an “area in rebellion” and thus was automatically considered essentially at-war with the United States right? The idea of the blockade was to bring the areas in rebellion back under US control without actually engaging in pitched-battle against American citizens. And again, the United States wasn’t the only side being aggressive. You can’t look at the facts of the situation and tell me that the Confederacy was peaceful and the Confederates were a bunch of angels. Well, I mean you can. But you’d be really, really wrong. 

Most the war was fought in the south. 

Over the course of the war the union lost 642,427 of its 2,672,341-strong military. the confederacy lost  483,026 of its 750,000-strong military.

Irrelevant information is irrelevant. None of this means anything when discussing whether or not the Confederacy’s secession is legitimate. Although, it is worth pointing out that the Union had the harder victory objective, and the South only needed to fight a defensive war. 

Sherman’s army burned everything from atlanta to the coast.

...You are aware that the Union aren’t the only people who burned/ destroyed things right? And you are also aware that the burning of Atlanta wholesale actually wasn’t Sherman’s original plan (or even his plan at all), right? And of course you’re aware that Sherman didn’t in fact burn Savanna Georgia. So, that’s a little misleading. 

very little mercy was shown to even civilians in the south by the union forces

Aaaaand this is downright false. Actually, even the wildest Union troops tended to act much, much better than expected in Confederate households and toward Confederate women. If you don’t believe me, I recommend you read diaries of Confederate matrons who were occupied by Union soldiers, or read some literaure collecting these accounts if you don’t want to track them down individually. I recommend When Sherman Marched North from the Sea: Resistance on the Confederate Home Front. That should clear up some of your misconceptions. 

where even generals ordered that historical monuments to be vandalized 

Not the monuments! Oh the humanity! Still, regardless of whether or not this is accurate (I really don’t know what you’re talking about- it’s general enough to refer to quite a variety of things) destruction of historical monuments is not the same as monumental cruelty to civilian populations. You’re going to need more than just assertions in order to prove that. Sorry. 

even after the war the north took great pains to keep the south crippled

I mean, if you want to talk Reconstruction, we can talk Reconstruction. But, I’m not going to make this post even longer by detailing all the ways this statement is wrong when Reconstruction is unrelated to the Civil War and especially unrelated to the legitimacy of the Confederate Secession. Actually, most of your post is irrelevant to that point. 

even today the south is still responsible for the bulk of federal funds while hardly having a say in how it’s spent.

...You actually can’t be serious with this. Texas (2), Florida (4) [(which isn’t really the South any more)] Georgia (9), North Carolina (10) and Virginia (12) are the Confederate states in the top 15 of states by GDP. Next is Tennessee and Louisiana at 24 which rounds out the Confederate States in the top 25 of states by GDP. South Carolina is 26, Alabama 27, Arkansas is 34, and Mississippi is 37. So, no. The South is definitely not responsible for the majority of federal funds. I have no idea where that nonsense is coming from. But it’s completely and utterly absurd. 

it can be called the war of northern aggression because that is exactly how it went down.

...Except it didn’t. You failed in proving that. Sorry. 

it can be called the war between the states because it was

I mean, sure. That’s a term that;s more popular in the South, but it’s not blatantly incorrect like “War of Northern Aggression”, though the framing is a little off. Also, fun fact: It was called “The Great Rebellion” in the Union during the war.

civil war isn’t really accurate because the confederate states of america was a sovereign nation.

...No it wasn’t. Not legally. If the Confederacy won the Civil War, it’s possible that the war would have been seen as the Confederacy’s Revolutionary War, but they lost. The Confederacy had no legal legitimacy and was not recognized by the United States government as a legal nation. It was an area in rebellion. Simply declaring that you are now a sovereign nation doesn’t actually make you a sovereign nation. Just like simply saying you’re divorced doesn’t actually make you divorced. So, seeing as it was a gigantic rebellion the term Civil War suits it quite nicely. 

And before you even try the American Revolution argument, the United States was not legitimate prior to the Revolutionary War. The Founding Fathers knew this. That’s part of the reason why signing the Declaration of Independence was so courageous. Victory in the Revolutionary War is what made the United States a legitimate nation. Without that victory, even though the Americans did have legitimate political grievance with the British Empire (as they actually were unrepresented unlike the South) they would not have created a legitimate nation through the Declaration of Independence. 

All in all, this was a pretty weak rebuttal. You shifted the goalposts, made assertions without evidence, and got your facts wrong. You’re going to need to do a heck of a lot better if you want to continue the debate. Because this? This was nowhere near good enough. And I think you know that. 

[minijenn]

For the angsty art, could you please do 🍄 (Poison) for Dipper?

(So it just dawned upon me that I have never reallywritten anything about Dipper and Ford bonding before, even though that’s like,one of my favorite dynamics in the entire show, so its crazy I’ve never donanything with it before! So I figured what better way to do that than with sadas fuck angst like this. Though quick note before we get started, this one isn’tfinished either. In fact, it kinda ends really abruptly (in that it doesn’tactually really end at all), mostly because I don’t really feel like working onit anymore right now. Still, its an idea I wouldn’t mind coming back to tofinish up someday and hey, I already wrote this much of it so I figured why theheck not post it *shrugs* hope you can still enjoy it for what it is!)

Any time Ford decided to bring him along on his researchoutings, Dipper considered himself to be incredibly lucky. Admittedly, he wasstill rather beside himself over the fact that the previously unknown author ofthe journals was his own uncle, but getting to go on expeditions and assist himin tracking down and documenting the oddities of Gravity Falls was on a wholeother level entirely. Which was why he always eagerly jumped into action at theauthor’s call, and today was no exception. Their trek into the woods had takenthem past several paranormal creatures and spots, all of which Ford already hadnear encyclopedic knowledge of, seeing as how he had written on all of them inhis journals. However, the further they got into the forest, the less familiarthings became, until it became clear that they were exploring previouslyuncharted territory, something that immensely excited both Ford and Dipper asthey thought of all of the potential discoveries to be made.

In fact, Ford happened to make one such discovery not verylong into their exploration, and the moment he saw it, he made sure to pullDipper off the path they were forging before he could even really see it.“Great Uncle Ford, what-” Dipper tried to question the author’smotives for dragging them both into the nearby brush, but he was quickly cutoff.

“Dipper, shh!” Ford tersely quieted him, hisexpression tense as he peaked over the shrubs they were now hding behind.“Look over there—but be very quiet about it! See that odd, pricklycreature scoping out that clearing?”

“Uh… you mean the porcupine?” Dipper ventured,nodding to the animal Ford had pointed to, which was currently meandering nottoo far away from them. Something did seem a bit off about it however, namelythe fact that its needle-like quills were coated with a bright, red,almost-bloodlike liquid.

“Not just any porcupine,” Ford pointed out, stillwhispering. “That’s a Poison-Quilled Porcupine, one of the rarest and mostdeadly woodland creatures on Earth! When I first found out about theirexistence, I personally wanted to call them Poisupines, but it looked far lessimpressive written out than it does spoken aloud. But disappointing namingpractices aside, the incredibly powerful poison from just one of that thing’squills is enough to kill a man in just a few hours.”

“Whoa…” Dipper mused, both amazed and ratheralarmed by this information. “That… sounds kind of intense… Should wereally be researching something so… potentially lethal?”

“Oh, don’t worry, Dipper,” Ford assured with acalm wave of his hand. “I’ve been to dimensions where even the veryatmosphere itself is poisonous, so needless to say I’ve managed to build up afair level of immunity to most toxins. You, on the other hand, have not, whichis why you’ll be staying right here while I go in to get a closer look.”

“A-are you sure?” Dipper asked, quite concerned asFord slowly and quietly rose to stand.

“Yes,” Ford nodded firmly, his tone gravelyserious as he placed a steady hand on his nephew’s shoulder. “I’ll beright back. Just remember what I said and stay put until I get back, no matterwhat happens, alright?”

Dipper nodded tentatively, still quite on edge given theirclose proximity to such an incredibly dangerous creature. Still, thePoison-Quilled Porcupine didn’t seem to notice as Ford stepped out of the brushand into the clearing, slipping journal 2 out of his lab coat as he began toquietly sketch the creature. Regardless, Dipper continued anxiously watchingfrom his hiding spot, trying to keep Ford’s assurance that he would be safe inmind yet having trouble doing so as he took another look at the porcupine’ssupposedly poisonous quills. But for the most part, the author kept a levelhead, staying out of the creature’s detection. That is, until he inadvertentlyhappened to step on a small, discarded branch, the abrupt noise instantlycatching the poisonous porcupine’s attention. The creature simply glanced overits shoulder, letting out a short, feral snarl as its beady eyes found Ford,who knew from experience that it was best to remain perfectly still insituations like these. Dipper, on the other hand, was not as well informed.

“G-Great Uncle Ford!” Dipper exclaimed in aworried whisper, peering over the shrubs just a bit.

“Dipper, I told you,” Ford retorted somewhatsharply, his hands raised in a defensive position as he stood his ground.“Stay put.”

“B-but… but you’re-”

“I’m fine,” Ford said, finally glancingback and failing to notice as the porcupine poised its quills to attack,something that Dipper caught onto immediately. Time seemed to slow to a crawlas he acted without thinking, panic overriding rationality as he fell out ofthe brush, scrambling to his feet as he rushed over to Ford as fast as hecould. The author didn’t even have any time to react as a million things seemedto happen all at once; the porcupine launched its attack, its eventually deadlyspikes darting right at Ford, only for all of them to completely miss as Dipperpushed him out of the way. They both fell together a distance away, seeminglyunscathed, as the creature let out another, petulant growl before saunteringback into the woods sullenly. It took a moment for both Dipper and Ford togather their bearings again after such a rush of adrenaline, but when they did,it was instantly clear that the author was far from pleased.

“Dipper, what in the world were you thinking?!”Ford scolded harshly as he stood and brushed himself off. “I told you tostay behind the bushes!”

“I… I know…” Dipper muttered, flustered as hegripped his arm and looked away. “I’m sorry, I just… y-you were… Thatthing was going to-”

“I’m well aware of what that thing was going todo,” Ford sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration as histone softened a bit. “And like I told you, I would have been perfectlyfine if one of its quills had struck me, which was a fate we were bothspared from, fortunately.”

Dipper said nothing to this as a brief expression of alarmflashed across his features. All the same, he was quick to hide his arm behindhis back a bit, still averting his uncle’s gaze out of both fear and guilt thistime. Of course, it didn’t take Ford very long to pick up on this as heregathered his fallen journal, and while the first inkling of suspicion wasquick to pour into his mind, he staunchly refused to believe it until he knewfor sure. “Dipper, let me see your arm,” he said, his tone incredibly seriousas he held out his arm to his nephew. He didn’t comply, however, as he insteadkept his arm hidden behind his back as he took in a tight, anxious breath, hisexpression awash with growing dread. “Dipper,” Ford tried again, much moreinsistent as his own fear began to rise. “I need to see-”

“Y-you can’t,” Dipper said stiffly, taking a stumbling stepback.

“Why not?” Ford asked, still not relenting, especiallyconsidering just how dire this could be.

“B-because…” Dipper began, his eyes wide and starting tofill up with tears that he desperately tried to suppress. “You’ll get mad…”

Upon hearing this, Ford didn’t waste any more time. Instead,he knelt down, reached out and grabbed Dipper’s arm himself, pulling it forwarddespite his nephew’s distraught protests and allowing him to see exactly whathe had been fearing. One, and only one, of the Poison-Quilled Porcupine’sspikes had managed to, against all odds, strike him squarely in his lower leftarm, its poison-painted tip buried deep and creating a wound that was already bleedingand starting to swell. Ford’s initial reaction to this was one of stunnedsilence, his eyes wide as his grip on Dipper’s wrist tightened just theslightest bit. He was unable to hold back a small, unsteady breath, but the forthe most part he did his best to remain calm, his years of conditioning himselffor dealing with situations like these taking over while at the same timefailing him. After all, he was used to handling going through inevitably deadlycircumstances like this, not having to watch his nephew go through- “A-acure,” the author barely managed to choke out before he could even let hismind finish that thought. He was quick to regain is composure, though he nearlylost it all over again as he finally looked up to meet Dipper’s distraught,absolutely terrified gaze. “We… we’re going to find a cure,” Fordsaid, his tone a bit firmer and more certain as he rose to stand.

“T-there’s a cure?” Dipper asked with newfoundhope as he gripped his injured arm once more.

“I don’t-” Ford abruptly cut himself off, knowingthat he couldn’t very well tell his nephew that he actually had no idea whetheror not the toxin currently infecting him was even treatable at all. In truth,very little research existed on the Poison-Quilled Porcupine or its poison, andwhat little reading the author had done up on it had been years ago. As much ashe was loathed to admit it, he knew almost nothing about what they were upagainst, a lack of knowledge that could end up costing Dipper his life if hedidn’t act quickly. Which was why Ford decided to rely on what he did know asopposed to wasting precious time trying to discover something new, seeing ashow that was the very thing that had gotten them into this mess in the firstplace. “There’s a type of plant, a flower called the sunset orchid, that’sknown for being a powerful anti-toxin. If we were to find one and grind it upinto a medicine that might be enough to neutralize the poison’s effects.”

“Might be?” Dipper frowned worriedly.“W-what if it isn’t enough?”

“It will be enough,” Ford corrected, evenif he wasn’t entirely sure himself. Still, seeing as how Dipper was alreadystarting to panic as it was, the last thing he wanted to do was alarm him evenmore. “We just have to find one first. But… there’s a problem. Thesunset orchid is incredibly rare, to the point of near extinction.However…” The author paused, pulling out one of his journals andflipping through it. “They have been known to grow in this area in thepast…”

“So… d-do you think we’ll be able to find one?”Dipper asked, his grip on his arm tightening as he cringed from the pain thatsuddenly shot through it.

“Y-yes,” Ford nodded, hating that he had to keeplying to his nephew and to himself like this. It was out of necessity though,seeing as how such impossibly optimistic thinking was the only thing keepingboth of them calm at the moment. “But first things’ first. We need to getthat quill out of your arm. As long as it stays in there, is going to keepspreading the poison inside of it throughout your bloodstream, which itprobably already has a good start on…”

“Ok…” Dipper said, tentatively holding his armout as Ford knelt down and took it once again. “Is… is this gonna, youknow, h-hurt?”

“Oh, um…” Ford frowned, quickly pulling a clothout of his pocket and handing it to his nephew as he prepared to remove thequill. “Let’s just say you might want to bite on that while I dothis…”

While he was rather concerned by this, Dipper complied, andfortunately so as Ford succinctly pulled the quill out, which was more thanenough to elicit a loud cry of agony, one that was only muffled by the cloth hehad shoved into his mouth beforehand. As Dipper did his best to cope with thelingering pain, Ford was quick to tear a piece of his lab coat off and create amomentary bandage from it as he wrapped it around the puncture wound to staunchthe blood already pouring from it.

“Um… Great Uncle Ford?” Dipper began waveringly,not looking to his arm as the author patched it up for him. “I… I’m sorryI didn’t listen to you… I should have known better than to just… run outthere like that. I-I guess there’s no better way for me to learn my lesson thanthis, huh?”

He let out a small, almost bitter laugh at this, one thatFord didn’t join in on as his expression as his expression darkened instead. Heknew exactly what Dipper was trying to do: make light of what was, by allaccounts, a horrible situation; after all, he had seen Stan do the same thingcountless times when they were kids over matters much less serious. Honestly,Ford wouldn’t have been that surprised if his nephew had picked up such adepreciating attitude from his brother, and while that was something the authormade a mental note to scold Stan over later, he knew there were much morepressing matters to attend to now.

“There will be plenty of time for apologieslater,” Ford remarked staunchly as he stood, knowing he had more thanenough apologies of his own for his nephew. “For now, we have a flower tofind. How are you feeling?”

“Uh, mostly ok, I guess,” Dipper shrugged. “Imean, I’m not gonna lie, my arm still hurts a ton, and, um… I’m sortof lightheaded, b-but I’m fine! Really, I’m ok, I promise.”

Ford nodded, not entirely convinced but deciding to trusthim for the moment. “Very well, let’s hope it stays like that. To myunderstanding, we only have a few hours before…” He trailed off, takingin a somewhat shaky voice, unable to bear finishing such a grim thought.“L-let’s get going. And let me know the moment you start to feelany different. Understand?”

“Y-yes,” Dipper agreed, knowing that he was in noposition to disagree with the author’s words this time. And so, without anyfurther discussion, the pair set off, their mission weighing heavy on both oftheir minds, as well as what could happen if they weren’t successful. Ford ledthe way, journal 2 in hand as he kept the page on the sunset orchid open, withDipper following a short, somewhat hesitant pace behind him. While the authorwanted to assure his nephew that he would be fine, that they would find theorchid and cure him in record time, but he had never been too keen on suchhopeful sentiments, especially if he had no idea if they were true or not. Soinstead, with neither of them really wanting to discuss their frighteningpredicament, they pressed on in silence, combing through the forest for aboutan hour or so, until Ford happened to hear the footsteps behind him graduallystart to slow before stopping altogether, but before he could even turn around,Dipper spoke up first.

“G-Great Uncle Ford…” he said, his voice so small and raggedthat it was barely even audible. Ford spun around in an instant, his heartsinking as soon as he took in the discouraging sight of his nephew. In a shorthour alone, Dipper’s condition, which had previously been seemingly stable, hadcompletely deteriorated as the poison started to do its work. His skin hadpaled alarmingly, the veins on his arm that the quill had struck showing updark purple as a sign of the poison’s spreading. He had managed to prop himselfup against a tree, leaning against it heavily as he struggled to even keep hishead up, his breathing shallow and rough as he clutched his chest, hisexpression twisted in agony and fear. “I… I-I’m not… I…”

(Aaaaand that’s all I wrote. Yeah sorry again for ending it so abruptly like this, but I got burnt out on it and felt the need to just go ahead and post it anyway so I could finally have all these angst prompts done and over with, so that’s just waht I did. Maybe I’ll come back to this idea again sometime though, we’ll have to wait and see :P )