#heaven is only in hell
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darktripz · 6 months ago
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britvarama · 5 months ago
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deep-space-lines · 9 months ago
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I know Gabriel is canonically really popular with Heaven’s residents but there’s bound to be some heavenly loser with pronoun envy
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schsas · 2 years ago
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hi girlfriends I made a comic to this art
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reallyunluckyrunaway · 7 months ago
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thewindandthestars · 3 months ago
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Imagine your f/o calling you by your name in a sing song sort of tone
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mummer · 7 days ago
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spock: goes through the evil time machine that makes you want to fuck women
spock: thinks even a little bit about fucking that woman
bones, the angriest he’s ever been: Well spock’s broken. we gotta get out of here right now. Gonna shove him against the wall and get really close to his face about it. To remind him that hes gay
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sukimas · 1 year ago
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flintbian · 1 year ago
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There's a disabled angel in good omens 🥺
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theofficialpresidentofmars · 2 months ago
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started watching Death Note yesterday and have come to the conclusion that if Hamlet had access to a death note, literally nothing in the play would change or happen differently in the slightest
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jeusus · 5 months ago
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Xie Lian Guess what I started reading ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
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darktripz · 6 months ago
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a-dauntless-daffodil · 5 months ago
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the longest damn late night phone call from heaven EVER
aka, Emily has a slightly gruesome favor to ask, Charlie's determined to be good and helpful friend, and Vaggie was only half-right about people not recognizing her without her exorcist mask
Charlie: “…not exactly what I expected, when dad said heaven wanted another chat.”
Emily: “I know, I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to bother you at home-”
Charlie: “It’s fine. Kinda late for a video call but, hold on.” (slips into hallway) (quietly shuts bedroom door) “It’s important right?”
Emily: “It’s… it’s important to me.”
Charlie: “Well that counts! What’s up? Uh, aside from literally you, anyway.”
Emily: “Before that, is your girlfriend- is Vaggie okay?”
Charlie: “She’s.”
Charlie: “……”
Charlie: “…fine.”
Emily: “There were a lot of bandages.”
Charlie: “Oh. Those.”
Emily: “I wasn’t trying to look, but when you were going past of bed, I just. I’ve never seen one of us like-”
Charlie: “Um I don’t think she’d really like the ‘one of us’ part. Just a heads up.”
Emily: “I’ll remember. Will they heal? Lute’s arm already has, and she said angelic steel is what- what killed that first Exorcist-”
Charlie: “Some of them- Some of them will heal, Vaggie says.”
Emily: “And the others?”
Charlie: “They’ll… probably be like her eye, I guess. The bleeding will stop.”
Emily: “Her eye-?”
Charlie: “Did you know Lute gouged it out with a sword? Right before leaving her in hell?”
Emily: “She- No! Why would she-”
Charlie: “So you didn’t know what Vaggie was when you saw her. You didn’t know what Lute and Adam did to her-”
Emily: “Charlie I SWEAR I had no idea. The Exorcists- other than Lute they keep those masks on almost all time, even up here! I could have walked past Vaggie a hundred times without knowing it!”
Charlie: “….that’s what she said too.”
Emily: “Vaggie?”
Charlie: “Mm.”
Emily: “Why ask me then? She told you and you trust her… right?”
Charlie: “It’s, complicated. And not the point.”
Emily: “Are you two okay-”
Charlie: “Not the point. What can I help heaven with tonight? I’d, kinda like to get back to bed before she wakes up.”
Emily: “Sorry, of course, I just don’t want you two to have more trouble…” (sighs) “…but I guess I’m not the right person to help am I. Not with, all this.”
Charlie: “I don’t blame you for what Lute and Adam did. Or for Sera letting them do it.”
Emily: “It still makes being friends hard, doesn’t it?”
Charlie: “…a little.”
Emily: “I’m-”
Charlie: “But! I’m not gonna let them stop us from doing it.” (determined) “Screw heaven- I wouldn’t have answered the phone if it’d been anyone other than you calling from up there anyway! Well, you or Sir Pentious.”
Emily: “I’m so, SO glad he made it here. ”
Charlie: “Me too.” (smiles) “You need help with something? Tell me. If I can do anything about it, I will.”  
Emily: “Oh it’s nothing like that, it’s just… a question.”
Charlie: “Okay?”
Emily: “….”
Charlie: “….”
Emily: “…I’m a little scared to ask.”
Charlie: “That’s okay! I know the feeling! If it helps, I promise I won’t get angry or annoyed just over you asking something!”
Emily: “Thanks. That’s. Not really what I’m scared of.”
Charlie: “Well what parts the scary part?”
Emily: “The answer.”
Charlie: “...huh.”
Emily: “I’m not sure I want to hear it, honestly.”
Charlie: “But you called in the middle of the night so you could ask?”
Emily: “Yes.”
Charlie: “So you DO want to know.”
Emily: “It feels more like I have to know.”
Charlie: “Okay…. uhh. What… kind of question is it?”
Emily: “The battle. The, dead Exorcists.”
Charlie: “Oh fuck. Shoot- Is it about the bodies? Because I’m REALLY sorry again about letting the cannibals uh, eat them. I’d kinda. I’d promised them- the cannibals I mean- and, um. They lost a lot of friends too so-”
Emily: “No that’s fine. It’s, it doesn’t matter much once they’re dead does it. S-someone should get to be happy about the fresh. Um. Meat.”
Charlie: “Ssssstillll, I wish I could’ve sent them back-”
Emily: “Did you see-?”
Charlie: “-whoops sorry, go ahead.”
Emily: “….”
Charlie: “….”
Emily: “….”
Charlie: “Ah-hem. Go ahead?”
Emily: “…”
Charlie: “Aaaaany time now…”
Emily: “…”
Charlie: “….Look, Emily-”
Emily: “I know I’m sorry I-”
Charlie: “No no! I really wish I had all night for this. Really! I wanna be the friend who sits up until four in morning talking- and any other time I would be!”
Emily: “I know.”
Charlie: “Only I also really, really don’t want Vaggie waking up alone tonight. Not after we, after I- I can’t do that to her right now, okay?”
Emily: “…yes. Okay.”
Charlie: “How about this- you call back in the morning, we settle in and-”
Emily: “Did you see an Exorcist that didn’t fit in?”
Charlie: “-uhhh, what?”
Emily: “An Exorcist.”
Charlie: “I mean, yes? There were dozens! Pretty hard to keep count when you’re fighting for you-”
Emily: “But was there one that didn’t fit in?”
Charlie: “Fit in what where- oh ugh Angel Dust get OUT of my head-”
Emily: “With the others. The other Exorcists. Was there one in the fight that, didn’t quite look right? Caught your eye for some reason?”
Charlie: “Don’t they all kinda look the same?”
Emily: “Yes. Mostly.”
Charlie: “Bloodstained uniform, horned mask, weird crossed out eye and stitched mouth aesthetic thing, scary black and white wings-”
Emily: “Did the cannibals eat the wings?”
Charlie: “The w-”
Emily: “The wings of the dead Exorcists. Did they eat-”
Charlie: “Emily- those are feathers. The cannibals ate the meaty parts sure, but-”
Emily: “So you could still check. If. If any of the Exorcists who died. If they had strange wings.”
Charlie: “I guess, I-”
Emily: “Charlie. I need you to check.”
Charlie: “What-”
Emily: “I just need to know-”
Charlie: “But-”
Emily: “-please-”
Charlie: “Hey it’s okay, I’ll check! I’ll check first thing tomorrow!”
Emily: “Promise?”
Charlie: “Of course! It’ll be easy, don’t worry! Vaggie saved the wings from all of them. I’m not sure what for- some kind of funeral I think- or target practice- funerary target practice? Is that an angel thing…?”
Emily: “We don’t….really have those in Heaven. Funerals.”
Charlie: “Oh. Right.”
Charlie: “…”
Charlie: “Must be nice.”
Emily: “I’m sorry.”
Charlie: “No- that came out wrong. Forget it! So the wing thing is just a Vaggie thing or something. Anyway. Checking the wings. Nooooo problem. CAN do.”
Emily: “Thank you. And. And you’ll just tell me about it? Not anyone else in heaven?”
Charlie: “Sure! Is it a secret?”
Emily: “No.”
Charlie: “Buuuut you don’t want Sera finding out.”
Emily: “I’ll tell her later. When I’m… Once I’ve…”
Emily: “…”
Charlie: “Oh Emily hey- it’s okay! Shh, it’s okay!!”
Emily: “I don’t know if it is.” (voice breaking) “Sera won’t let me near the Exorcists and Lute won’t answer any questions about them- I don’t know who else to ask or if I really want to know, but I can’t sleep, and if she didn’t die down there then I NEED to find her somehow and ask her HOW she could’ve been doing this! Murdering people, killing souls-”
Charlie: “Whoa wait, ask who? What am I even checking the Exorcist wings for?”
Charlie: “… Who…who are you looking for?”
Emily: “I don’t know her name. We never met.”
Charlie: “You seem to really care about her, for someone you’ve never met.”
Emily: “Because she was DIFFERENT! She-”
Emily: (looks away)
Emily: “…she’s part of why I never questioned the Exorcists. She. I thought she was proof that underneath masks, they meant well. That they were strict and distant but also protectors, and they cared, and…”
Charlie: “…and now you know what she was doing the whole time.”
Emily: “She CAN’T have been. You shouldn’t be able to be so kind and gentle and still-”
Charlie: “People can be a lot of different things, to different people.”
Emily: “How?”
Charlie: “That’s just… what makes people, people, I think. We can all do things we never thought we’d do.”
Emily: “Exorcists kill children don’t they. Child sinners- they don’t spare them, do they?”
Charlie: “They don’t really DO the whole ‘sparing’ thing. Not in the Pride Ring. Only my dad’s family is safe from exterminations- or was safe. Kids… if they don’t have anyone, or if their families can’t keep them safe, then…” (shudders) “…yeah. I’ve. I found the bodies a few times.”
Emily: “How… how can they-”
Charlie: “I don’t know.” (tired) (slumping back against the door) “They just do.”
Emily: “She can’t have done that! That’s the ONE thing I know about her- she LOVED children. Falling in line and being a good Exorcist didn’t matter as soon as a child needed her!”
Charlie: “Well- well maybe she wasn’t one of the ones who… hurt kids. Maybe she didn’t do that.”
Emily: “But she must have seen it happening. Known it happened. And she didn’t stop it.”
Charlie: (wince) “T- tell me about her? The parts you saw up in heaven, her being nice to those kids- that happened too! What was she like?”
Emily: “…watchful.”
Charlie: “A guardian angel huh?” (smiles weakly) “I think I know the type.”
Emily: “She should’ve been that. She shouldn’t have-” (sighs) “…Exorcists keep to themselves, up in heaven.”
Charlie: (grits teeth) “If they’re mostly all like Lute then that’s probably the only way to keep heaven a nice place.”
Emily: “Lute isn’t… well I guess I don’t really know her either. I always thought she was just paranoid, busy being overprepared, scared for heaven and channeling it into anger…. maybe she is that? Maybe she just-”
Charlie: “She tried stabbing out Vaggie’s other eye.”
Emily: “….”
Emily: “A lot of things make sense now, knowing what she and Adam were doing.”
Charlie: “Like keeping the Exorcists separate?”
Emily: “That, and the identical uniforms, the masks… the constant, BRUTAL training and practice.”
Charlie: “Building trust in a warzone….”
Emily: “What?”
Charlie: “Nothing- How did any of them get near a kid, if that’s what it’s like?”
Emily: “They didn’t. It was an accident.”
Charlie: “Now THAT’S depressing.”
Emily: “I guess so..”
Charlie: “…”
Charlie: “So. What happened?”
Emily: “Oh… some children were testing their wings. Just out having fun, you know. A few flew out of sight- their friends tried looking for them, but there are parts of heaven not everyone can always reach.”
Charlie: “There is? Why-”
Emily: “Heaven’s supposed to be a peaceful, happy place. An eternity of rest and recovery- It’s supposed to be safe. To be safe, Sera always said the Exorcists needed to be ready to defend it, and they needed space to not always be happy or peaceful.”
Charlie: “They always seemed pretty happy about not being peaceful, not gonna lie.”
Emily: “They get really into training with each other- but do you mean, even during the exterminations-?”
Charlie: “ESPECIALLY then.”
Emily: (frustrated) “I wish things would stop making so much sense!”
Charlie: “Same.”
Emily: “It was right there all along, and I didn’t see it!”
Charlie: “I mean, they really didn’t want you to.”
Emily: “And how many people are dead because of that?”
Charlie: “It’s not your fault… And it’s not all bad.” (weak chuckle) “Vaggie likes it better down here. The one upside to finding out old secrets is how it can make things better- she makes much more sense now too.”
Emily: “In good ways?”
Charlie: “In… in kinda silly, kinda sad ways.”  
Emily: “Silly is good.”
Charlie: “Yeah…”
Emily: “Sorry. I won’t pry. I’m just listening- passively- if you want.”
Charlie: "It’s nothing super personal or secret, just that, I get why she likes high places and open spaces when she needs thinking time. Not like the view’s amazingly great down here, so I always wondered… All those times finding her on roof tops or the hotel’s crow’s nest."
Charlie: "I asked if staring at heaven's light was a moth demon thing once and she just shrugged, but the angel thing makes so much more sense and she's terrible at lying if I'd just ASKED-”
Emily: "Now you're sounding like me."
Charlie: "URGH right- good things, good things are- when she's up there, I know now she's either cursing heaven or hating herself."
Emily: "... is there a better good thing? Because that's..."
Charlie: "Now I can HELP her. With that."
Emily: "That's a good thing, yes."
Charlie: "She doesn't have to walk around all the time being scared of me finding out and getting angry or hurt, I DID find out and I WAS angry and and hurt, and it was fine."
Emily: "Well..."
Charlie: "Okay fine, not fine but BETTR. It IS better."
Emily: "..."
Emily: “...your hotel has a crow’s nest? That must be perfect for her.”
Charlie: “What? Oh, yes. She loves it...”
Charlie: "Shit even her HAIR makes so much sense now."
Emily: “She’s grown hers out- I’ve never thought about an Exorcist with long hair- it’s very pretty.”
Charlie: “Pretty, fun to play with, but she leaves it loose even when all the swooshing annoys her. It gets in the way of her trying to stab people."
Emily: "I bet we could find a metaphor in that."
Charlie: "I guess it’s kinda like wings though? The weight and having something cover her back like that.”
Emily: “Wings are… not just that. Wings are pretty different.”
Charlie: “Long hair was probably still better than nothing though. I wonder if she’ll cut it now? Or just keep it in the ponytail?”
Emily: “What do you mean?”
Charlie: "Well, short hair is easier to take care of, right? Plus she seemed to really like having it out of her face during the battle, even after getting her wings back-”
Emily: “No, wait- Getting them back? She’s an angel, doesn’t she have- hasn’t she always had….”
Charlie: “No she… They didn’t mention that either, did they.”
Emily: “What did they do.”
Charlie: “One guess. And one guess who ‘they’ were.”
Emily: “Lute. Adam leaves- he left almost everything that actually needed doing to her.”
Charlie: “Well this time the thing that needed doing-”
Emily: “They took her wings.”
Charlie: "It was more of a ripping action? Tearing?? Wrenching- No, ripping sounds right- Ripped them off and left them on the ground next to her. Vaggie had to stuff them in a dumpster before any sinners saw them and mobbed her.”
Emily: “….”
Charlie: “M-maybe I shouldn’t have said that part.”
Emily: “It’s fine. Important to know.”
Charlie: “But Vaggie only just told ME about it, and now I’m blubbering it out to you- fuck. Forget I said it? Please?”
Emily: “You should talk about it with someone who isn’t her, Charlie.”
Charlie: “Not like this though! Not with-”
Emily: “An angel. Someone from heaven.”
Charlie: “-not with someone she isn’t even friends with yet.”
Emily: “Thanks for the ‘yet’ part. I hope you’re right about it.”
Charlie: “I will be. But um. Until then…?”
Emily: “All I know is she didn’t have wings and now she does again. No specifics.”
Charlie: “Thank you.”
Charlie: (clears throat) “You, uh. You were telling me about YOUR Exorcist.”
Emily: “Right. Her and children. The ones who wandered off-”
Charlie: “-onto the one place in heaven that isn’t sunshine and rainbows and fluffy clouds of happiness, right right.”
Emily: “It was a bit of shoreline Exorcists use for live battle training.”
Charlie: “Yay fun?”
Emily: “Where they, they practice tearing each other apart with their bare hands-”
Charlie: “Oh!”
Emily: “-weapons aren’t used for it, don’t worry! None of the children were in any real danger!”
Charlie: “But they SAW it!?”
Emily: “From a distance… not, not close enough to get splattered by blood….”
Charlie: “Oh wow that’s SO reassuring!”
Emily: “Except for one of them.”
Charlie: “How the HECK didn’t anyone notice there were kids around before starting that stuff!? Didn’t they CHECK-”
Emily: “The Exorcists are very used to being left alone.”
Charlie: “STILL!”
Emily: “I know. I was so angry at first- I didn’t show it, the other children were already hiding under my wings after I’d gathered them up. They didn’t need me getting mad too.”
Charlie: “Didn’t wanna to scare them?”
Emily: “Watching the Exorcists was scary enough.”
Charlie: “I’m trying SO real hard to imagine a happy ending for this.”
Emily: “It’s there, don’t worry. See, one of the children had wandered further than the rest, and was just standing there, frozen. Staring up at.. all that.”
Charlie: “That doesn’t sound happy.”
Emily: “It was so frustrating! I couldn’t get to them without bringing the others even closer too! Some of them could barely move they were so frightened- I tried calling up at the Exorcists, asking them to stop, but they either didn’t hear me or ignored me-”
Charlie: “FUCK that’s just-”
Emily: “But then-”
Charlie: “….”
Emily: “One of them left formation.”
Charlie: (smiling) “Yeah?”
Emily: “She came swooping down, all soaked in blood- not hers, I don’t think. She didn’t look hurt. She landed right in front of the child."
Charlie: “Oh covered in BLOOD that must’ve been, er, something.”
Emily: “It wasn’t great. Poor thing was so scared under her shadow I thought they’d cry.”
Charlie: “Wouldn’t blame them.”
Emily: “Me neither. Those masks… but’s it’s funny, you know, how much a small thing can change everything else.”
Charlie: “She wasn’t as scary as her mask, was she?”
Emily: “No. She was, awkward. I saw her do a little wave and kneel down- later they said she’d talked with them, asked if they were hurt and where their home was.”
Charlie: “Normal stuff.”
Emily: “Strange for an Exorcist. Then she- she offered to take them home. She was still all spattered with-”
Charlie: “Blood. Ew.”
Emily: “I didn’t know what was going on when it happened, I just saw the Exorcist stand up and march right into the sea, right into the waves! She come out clean enough but also. Well. Also sopping wet and a bit um, a bit less scary looking."
Charlie: "Heheh."
Emily: "A lot less scary looking. A little pitiful looking?”
Charlie: “Like Husk after the champagne bottle incident!”
Emily: “Like who?”
Charlie: “Oh our bartender. Long story- but I’ve seen sad and bedraggled wings before. I’d LOVE to see them on an Exorcist!”
Emily: “It was pretty funny. And she didn’t seem to mind the child laughing at her either. If anything I think she made more of a show of shaking herself dry and fluffing up afterwards, once she heard them giggling over it.”
Charlie: “Aww~! She didn’t wanna scare them either!”
Emily: “She was silly. I’d never seen an Exorcist being silly before. The other ones watching didn’t seem to like it. They’d finally stopped fighting and looked like they were muttering to each other… Lute, Adam, even Sera, they're really strict about not having Heaven's army mixing with the rest of Heaven...”
Charlie: “But she- the silly exorcist- she didn’t care.”
Emily: “If she did, it didn’t stop her.”
Charlie: “Did she take the kid home herself then? Once she wasn’t covered in. Uhh. Blood.”
Emily: “She did. The other children were so jealous!”
Charlie: “Jealous??”
Emily: “After she helped wipe off the, the blood spatters on them, she scooped them up and just rocketed into the sky.”
Charlie: “Ohmygosh that's so FUN! Angel piggyback rides are the best!”
Emily: “It looked like it. Exorcists train and practice, and their wings are strong- I knew that but I still don’t think I’ve ever seen someone move like that in the air. Like she was dancing.”
Charlie: “Vaggie says fighting and dancing have a lot in common.”
Emily: “She does?”
Charlie: “Mm-hmm. And if SHE’S any example, then I bet plenty of the Exorcists would be GREAT dancers too! If they bothered not killing people long enough to find out, that is.”
Emily: “If. Right."
Charlie: “…”
Charlie: “….Vaggie stopped. She was, she used to- and it took time but, she stopped.”
Emily: “And Lute cut out her eye for it.”
Charlie: “I don’t think she regrets losing it. Or- it was worth it to her? She.. sometimes it’s almost like she feels like she deserved it.” 
Emily: “I hope not. It shouldn’t have happened, it didn’t help anyone.”
Charlie: “No. It really didn’t.”
Emily: “They probably used her as an example of why no one else should do that.”
Charlie: “…well… maybe your Exorcist will still think it’s worth it?”
Emily: “Maybe. If she’s not dead.”
Charlie: “R-right.” 
Emily: “And she’s really not mine. I don’t even know her.”
Charlie: “You know enough to care.”
Emily: “To care about someone who might not even deserve it? How does that help anyone-”
Charlie: “EVERYONE deserves to be cared about.”
Emily: “Even-”
Charlie: “Everyone. At least to the point of caring if they’re dead or not.”
Emily: “… you’d make a great angel, Charlie.”
Charlie: “HA! I’m not sure that’s a compliment anymore but uh. Thanks?”
Emily: “I meant it more that, if Sera and Lute and Adam had been more like you, then none of this would have happened. Or if you’d been up here, you would’ve stopped them.”
Charlie: “Ehhh… I kinda think if you couldn’t manage it, I wouldn’t have either..? Definitely NOT alone and not without-”
Emily: “You started the hotel! You had to go against so many people to do that-”
Charlie: “-okay yes but we only JUST got that going. And I only could do THAT because I had…”
Charlie: “…”
Charlie: “It’s easier, with someone who believes in you.”
Emily: “Like a partner?”
Charlie: “Yeah.”
Emily: “A girlfriend.”
Charlie: “….yeah.”
Emily: “And it’s late. I’ll let you get back to her.”
Charlie: “It’s probably okay. She was tired and, she’s a pretty heavy sleeper once she actually falls asleep. You can usually tell when she really conks out because the snoring-”
Charlie: “-oh fuck oh no no no not again DON’T TELL HER I SAID THAT EITHER!”
Emily: “I won’t.” (giggling) “Although I might’ve heard it earlier.”
Charlie: “Fuck. Shit! FUCK!”
Emily: “But I swear on all six of my wings I won’t breathe a word. I also don’t know what happened to you guys- other than a huge traumatic revelation followed by an actual battle for your lives-”
Charlie: “That was a thing, yes.”
Emily: “-but I really hope you two are okay.”
Charlie: “Oh we will be! Weirdly enough, we’re better off now than we were before, even!”
Emily: “Lots of new things you can finally talk about?”
Charlie: “SO many.”
Emily: “Heh. Good. I’m glad something turned out okay from all this.”
Charlie: “And I really hope at least ONE more thing can turn out okay. For you, specifically.”
Emily: “We’ll… we’ll see I guess.”
Charlie: “First thing in the morning. I promise.”
Emily: (breath in) “Okay….” (breathe out) “Thank you.”
Charlie: “Any time. Or, no problem. Or- not that I WANT you to need help identifying bodies again anytime soon, I just meant…”
Emily: (laughs) “I know, Charlie. It’s okay. And it’s also really late. Good night.”
Charlie: “Good n- oh hey wait, Emily!!”
Emily: “-yes?”
Charlie: “What AM I looking for exactly? With the wings.”
Emily: “Oh- You know how Exorcist always those two stripes on theirs? The black bands on their feathers, the undersides.”
Charlie: “Yyyyep, yep. Now that you mention it…”
Emily: “She only had one.”
Charlie: "......"
Charlie: “…one… wing stripe?”
Emily: “It’s how I noticed her at first.”
Charlie: “That’s, that’s rare among Exorcists, huh?”
Emily: “She was the only one with wings like that, I think. Every few years I’d catch sight of her following behind Lute and Adam with a few others, trailing them through the actually populated places in Heaven for once, in full Exorcist gear.”
Charlie: “Well if she, if they were masked, maybe it wasn’t always the same person-”
Emily: “It was. She was easy enough to spot even without the wings, once I knew what to look for.”
Charlie: “Which was…?”
Emily: “She was the only one who’d wave back at the children who waved at her.”
Charlie: “…”
Charlie: “…oh.”
Emily: “Sorry. This is, a pretty depressing thing to go back to sleep after, isn’t it? Try to have some good dreams okay?”
Charlie: “I- I will. I’ll try. Um, you too?”
Emily: “I’ll give my best shot, if I can sleep. Thank you again, Charlie. Night.”
Charlie: “Good night..”
-call ends-
Charlie: “……..”
Muffled voice: “….charlie?”
Charlie: “SHIT!” (bangs head on door) (slips back into bedroom) “I’m here, I’m right here- no no no don’t sit up-!”
Vaggie: “What’s wrong?”
Charlie: “Nothing! Just a phone call. Please lay back down?”
Vaggie: “Something happened. Everyone okay?”
Charlie: “Everyone’s fine- Emily calling for a small favor that’s all- Vaggie c’mon, we just got it so your ribs weren’t getting pressed on…”
Vaggie: “Emily.” (alarmed) “Did Lute try something? Did Sera-?”
Charlie: “NO. Nothing happened to anyone! Now, SIT!”
Vaggie: (sits)
Vaggie: “Something’s wrong.”
Charlie: “Well my girlfriend happens to be one half broken bones and other half tenderized meat and won’t stay still, so THAT’S not exactly great!”
Vaggie: “…..”
Charlie: “…….”
Charlie: (sits too) “…Emily wants help checking the dead Exorcists. She might’ve known one of them.”
Vaggie: “Shit.”
Charlie: “Yeah..”
Vaggie: “But, knew one? How would she know any of us?”
Charlie: “Well…”
Vaggie: “She’s a seraph. The only Exorcist who goes near the higher ups is Lute.”  
Charlie: “Right but, just because you never met her doesn’t mean…”
Charlie: (sighs)
Charlie: “It was a LONG talk. Tell you tomorrow?”
Vaggie: "I guess... If you promise to be my pillow and lay down for a while instead of just pacing some more, then yeah, I can wait.”
Charlie: “Okay not fair- I was taking a call!”
Vaggie: “Your hoofbeats were tip tapping through my dreams long before then, babe.”
Charlie: “Motherfucker.”
Vaggie: (chuckling) “Sleep, sweetie.” (drags them down)
Charlie: “Hey don’t act like that wasn’t MY line a moment ago!”
Vaggie: “A moment ago all I knew was something was wrong and you were sad. Now I know just the usual shit is wrong, and you’re dead tired.”
Charlie: “Guess you’re not wrong there…”
Charlie: “….Vaggie?”
Vaggie: “Hmm?”
Charlie: "Do you.. like Emily?"
Vaggie: "Like her? The one not asshole angel up in heaven? She got all fired up with you about the shit unfairness of hell and stuff. What's not to like."
Charlie: "That's not the same as you actually liking her though."
Vaggie: "Hun, we've barely met. It's not like I went on the heaven tour with her."
Charlie: "Buuut.. maybe you'd like to get to know her?"
Vaggie: "Do you want me to get to know her."
Charlie: ".... I just wish there was some part of heaven that... wasn't bad for you."
Vaggie: "Hey, it was heaven. Murder soldier cult thing aside, if we're just talking personal comfort or whatever, it wasn't the worst thing in creation."
Charlie: "Wow what a stunning review! Other than the psychological trauma, it was great!"
Vaggie: "It wasn't that bad. Just you know. Comparatively."
Charlie: "Comparatively?"
Vaggie: "To this. Being here like this, with you."
Charlie: "Hmph."
Charlie: "...."
Vaggie: "..."
Charlie: "... you asleep?"
Vaggie: "Almost. But it feels like you have another question before you're ready for sleep."
Charlie: "You don't have to answer this one."
Vaggie: "Me not answering is kinda what fucked us over before."
Charlie: "It's different now. We can wait until you're ready."
Vaggie: "I'm ready. Ask."
Charlie: "....okay."
Charlie: "Um..."
Charlie: “Was. The sinners you killed-”
Vaggie: “Murdered.”
Charlie: “Murdered, okay. Okay. Were they. Were any of them… kids?”
Vaggie: “….”
Vaggie: “Once.”
Vaggie: “Almost.”
Charlie: “…almost… so, that was the time you stopped.”
Vaggie: “Yes.”
Charlie: “Okay. Because it was a kid?”
Vaggie: “I don’t know.”
Charlie: “What d-”
Vaggie: “I don’t know what I mean. It doesn’t. I don’t think it matters. Charlie- not killing one time isn’t the same as… never having killed.”
Charlie: “I know- I mean, I get that-”
Vaggie: “It doesn’t fix anything, or make anything better.”
Charlie: “It doesn't have to! We’re working on that part together. With the hotel.”
Vaggie: “It's not your thing to have to make up for.”
Charlie: “My home, my people, my friends and my girlfriend. Mine mine mine. And you feel better now you’ve stopped, don’t you?”
Vaggie: “Feeling like a less crappy person also isn’t the same as feeling better.”
Charlie: “It’s not?”
Vaggie: “Thinking you’re a good person, a hero even, is a pretty great feeling. Finding out you’re murderer sucks.”
Charlie: “You ARE a good-!”
Vaggie: “Charlie. Please?”
Charlie: “….”
Charlie: “What about when I hug you?”
Vaggie: “… hard not to feel lucky as hell, then.”
Charlie: “Good” (hugs) "Me too."
Vaggie: “Kinda hard to hug back while I’m lying half on top of you… Would a wing snuggle be alright?”
Charlie: “It won’t hurt your ribs??”
Vaggie: “No. I could use a stretch, honestly.”
Charlie: “Then gimme the floofies!”
Vaggie: “Yeah?”
Charlie: “GIMME GIMME~”
Vaggie: "Floofies at your service." (wings go floof) (snuggles one over charlie) “I’m glad they came back.. different.”
Charlie: “With the gray?”
Vaggie: “Mm. Thoughts?”
Charlie: “GRAY-t! They go WAY better with your hair now!”
Vaggie: (chuckling) “Nice. Girlfriend approved."
Charlie: "And it's lucky we ARE girlfriends, or else your pretty wings would have girls FLOCKING to you!"
Vaggie: "Right." (SNORTS) "Night, Charlie.”
Charlie: “If you’re wishing me goodnight to try stoping the wing puns, please know there’s more where that came from! I am in no way winging it here.”
Vaggie: “I figured.”
Charlie: "I really do love your wings, Vaggie."
Vaggie: "Really helps they don't look like they used to."
Charlie: "Hmm. Is the anything other than the color different?"
Vaggie: "... Isn't that enough?"
Charlie: "I don't mean it like that! It's just, well, they only have one stripe on them, and the other exorcists-"
Vaggie: "They were like that before. Sorry."
Charlie: "Vaggie I don't NEED them to look different. I'm just, curious!"
Vaggie: "Uh-huh."
Charlie: "Really! Did any of the other exorcists have-?"
Vaggie: "No."
Charlie: "None of them? Ever?"
Vaggie: "Not since I took up vanguard duty. Or since. Looks like Lute got rid of the position after I- after getting rid of me. Now they just all stream down into hell all at once. No one scouts ahead." (mutters) "Messy."
Charlie: "Huh."
Vaggie: "So I guess my wings didn't change that much really."
Charlie: "If they'd stayed exactly the same I would have loved them."
Vaggie: "Not sure I'd want you to."
Charlie: "Too bad. They're part of you. They're part of the most amazing woman I've ever met.... If you like them better now though, that's good. Maybe you. Maybe you'll feel like having them out more?"
Vaggie: "We'll see."
Charlie: "BUT I want eternal dibs on the wing hugs."
Vaggie: "What? You staking a claim?"
Charlie: "Yes absolutely. My wing hugs, okay?" (hugs tighter) "Mine."
Vaggie: "Okay." (chuckling) (relaxing) "They're all yours, babe." (snuggling in) “Love you...”
Charlie: “Love you too, Vaggie.”
Charlie: (smooches gf's forehead) “Goodnight…”
Vaggie: (already asleep)
Charlie: “…..”
Charlie: (traces the one stripe on Vaggie’s wing)
Charlie: "...you probably could have been happy up there... if they'd let you."
Charlie: (wipes face)
Charlie: “… fuck heaven.”  
Vaggie: (SNORES)
Charlie: (grins) (still teary-eyed) “Exactly.”
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goated33 · 9 months ago
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It’s not my fault! I’m not to blame. It is that wretched girl, the witch who sent this flame!
Inspired by @sharkscene ‘s tags
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budd-ie · 5 months ago
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“Mu Qing is too logical for his own good” is such a real problem that he deals with and as tragic as it makes his life I also think it’s really funny when someone is accusing him of something and instead of telling them to shut up or leave him alone the first thing he does is pull out the 95 fucking theses detailing every single thing wrong with their argument WITH historical evidence and additional considerations from scholarly psychology articles, MLA format works cited and completely annotated. It could use an editor and some bias correction, but he actually makes a pretty good point. anyways tgcf ace attorney au when
#mu qing xie lian hua cheng and Ling Wen in a San FranTokyo court of law needs to happen#Hua Cheng is the guy who became a lawyer to chase a boy. he would be a defense attorney too#Xie Lian is a lawyer because of his natural strong sense of justice and he would probably be a prosecutor too based on his track record#it’s not a perfect parallel but you know what I mean#xie lian is still so phoenix wright by nature but hes just a prosecutor now. they both have survived a multitude of near-death experiences#Hua cheng plays a natural game where he only bites back if something is worth his time and doesnt usually seek trouble.#therefore hes the most ruthless defense attorney you've ever seen. he would update the autopsy report#you could also argue that xie lian would still be a defense attorney if you consider the way phoenix uncovers truth within his defense#and then ends up sending someone else to jail in the end. which happens very often#mu Qing started off as a prosecutor but Xie Lian said he would be a better defense attorney and he was right#Feng Xin is the. uh. bailiff. or something#judge jun wu#Ling wen is like the final boss of witnesses. that brocade immortal scene where xie lian absolutely fakes her tf out is so iconic#unless ling wen is gumshoe just much much less silly goofy#does anybody have that one edgeworth art where its. i ask the witness a question. i press them. they lie. they go to hell#if you do PLEASE dm me im begging you i need it#the wind master is maya holy shit what if#banyue is pearl#no-face von karma...... qi rong franziska......#again its Not a perfect parallel by any means but the spirit is here#rb with your tgcf lawyer headcannons#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#heaven official's blessing#mu qing
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moonsvillain · 8 months ago
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have been toying with the idea of an au wherein shen jiu, after burning down the qiu household and running away, comes across xie lian rather than wu yanzi poaching him immediately afterwards:
i'd imagine in this verse he runs away to town rather than immediately being found in the aftermath of what he's done. at this point, shen jiu would be too paranoid to consider reaching out for directions to cang qiong mountain even if he wanted to make it there: what if they knew what he did? or figured it out if he did know? (if he even had the mind to think of these things through his panic)
he doesn't want to end up begging on the streets again, though—too alike his childhood and last time he was in that position, shen jiu ended up with the qius in the first place
so he takes refuge in temples that he comes across, stealing food when he can before moving to a different part of the rather large town he's ended up in so there's no clear pattern of when he shows up at whichever food stall
despite not holding that same respect and unwavering belief in gods (how could he, after everything he's gone through? shouldn't they have stepped in, sometime? what god would let him suffer as he did, separating him from the only person he loved?) he knows better than to try them, and begrudgingly thanks them for the shelter (because this he did appreciate, at the very least, if nothing else)
winter hits hard when it does, and shen jiu, after spending so many years in the qiu household, forgot how the cold seeps into your skin and bones without solid walls to keep out the frigid breeze.
he quickly falls ill with nothing to protect him from the elements but his threadbare clothing, and when he grows ill, he becomes slow. shen jiu nearly gets caught stealing, running away before he can be dragged to a town guard for his offence, but earning himself a nasty wound to his leg as he retreated
sickness + the cold + the wound leave him weak and wanting: missing qi-ge, reminiscing on nights where they'd curl up together for warmth, still cold but not alone, the two of them steady against the storm that raged on ahead of them
fever-ridden and teetering close to death, shen jiu wanders into a temple late at night and sinks to his knees, falling to his side, heart-rate slowing. in his delirium, he misses the figure taking shelter from the storm in the corner, watching him
shen jiu wakes up (he doesn't expect to), warm while he hears the wind whistle. he's still in that temple from earlier, but it's considerably... cozier. a small fire warms the inside and his clothes aren't as damp against his cold skin. his fever's broken, too—he doesn't know how long it's been, but he's glad he didn't die: never realized that he wanted to live until he was close to forfeiting his right to
here is where he meets his accidental saviour: xie lian stood over a slowly bubbling pot of stew that smells heavenly to shen jiu—he'd eat just about anything at this point, starved
his immediate distrust of xie lian stops him from being truly excited about his appearance
their relationship is veryyy shaky at the very beginning: shen jiu refuses to trust him and xie lian refuses to abandon this strange child he found on the verge of death
(there's a strange sort of bond built up when you nurse someone back to life, dragging them away from the brink of death and xie lian isn't interested, but he's curious about this kid who stumbled into his temple at the dead of night on a midnight in winter)
shen jiu's torn between distrust and this desire for company he didn't know he possessed; after being alone with no one but the qiu household [before he went on his massacre] he didn't realized how much he wanted to share space with someone who wasn't actively hurting him until he was afforded the opportunity to experience non-violent company with xie lian
his distrust slowly declines when he finds out that xie lian is a cultivator. despite being arguably too old to learn cultivation to the fullest extent he could have if he started a few years earlier, he still desperately wants to learn
xie lian, perceptive as ever, slowly starts teaching him bits and pieces of the basics, teaches him to meditate, takes care to keep his distance when it looks like shen jiu's getting overwhelmed
shen jiu can't help but get attached. he hates it
shen jiu decides to test xie lian before resigning himself to this
he was snappy, impatient, and argued with xie lian, when he came over, one day, waiting for some form of punishment to come, bristling like a spooked cat.
nothing came of his experiment but a slight frown from xie lian, which made shen jiu feel almost bad—xie lian almost reminded him of qi-ge, which made him feel doubly bad because he desperately wants to find him
shen jiu came to xie lian the next day with a pastry [that he stole] as an apology. and a request:
"teach me how to cultivate so i can be a disciple at the cang qiong sect"
xie lian agrees easily enough: he's been around shen jiu to see that despite the late start, he has potential to be great [especially untouched by wu yanzi and his twisted form of cultivation]
shen jiu throws himself into his studies, working himself to the bone
xie lian is concerned by this and after trying to soften the load of his work doesn't make shen jiu slow down, he becomes stern: warns him against trying to chase too much frivolously
this leads to a breakdown of sorts—where shen jiu gets angry, dismissive, before becoming upset. the average emotional depth of a teenager but, like, 4 times worse because of the circumstances
xie lian coaxes the story out of shen jiu here; qi-ge [the first time he's mentioned aloud by name], the qiu household [only the barest of details. shen jiu refuses to dwell], and the night shen jiu made qi-ge leave, as well as qi-ge's promise to come back
shen jiu finishes by telling xie lian he needs to make it back to qi-ge, needs to see if he's still alive, he's been selfish for sticking around as long
shen jiu tells xie lian that he needs to figure out as much as he can, as fast as he can, so he can leave and make his way to cang qiong mountain with some sort of base knowledge to make it in. and that he's not sorry for pushing himself because he doesn't have time
xie lian is quiet for a while
puts a comforting hand on shen jiu's shoulder and tells him he understands; he knows someone who would do anything to make it back to the one they loved, understands the pain that comes when time and distance separates the two
however, xie lian tells him, he can't let shen jiu push himself. he'll only stunt his progress by hurting himself rather than speed things up
shen jiu is ready to argue again before xie lian offers to make the trip with him
shen jiu doesn't believe it at first—who would bother with helping him for this long if they weren't getting anything out of it? he already found this hard to believe, let alone the fact that xie lian would drop everything to travel with him for weeks on end
xie lian doesn't shake in his resolve, though. shen jiu figures out he's being serious and wants to argue, but he's just—relieved
so many people have stood as roadblocks on his path back to qi-ge; xie lian might be the first person actively trying to help them
it almost reignites hope in him; someone other than him believes in them. someone other than shen jiu thinks they'll make it back to each other and succeed in reuniting. xie lian's faith in him is like a gust of wind beneath his wings
he agrees to their road trip
[xie lian makes sure to tell his beloved he'll be away for a while]
[shen jiu doesn't notice that xie lian buys steamed buns off the same stranger in nearly every town they stop by for a night of rest in the following few weeks]
[xie lian notices, years later, when shen qingqiu doesn't recognize him upon their first meeting in decades. shen yuan doesn't know xie lian, but xie lian knows this isn't shen jiu, anymore]
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