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ex-foster · 2 months ago

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"Don't ever tell anyone you were in foster care, especially at work"

I met another former foster kid. She was around the same age as me but much more financially successful. One of the things she told me that really stuck with me is when she advised me to never disclose the fact that I was in foster care, especially at work.

So today I want to talk about this topic. Employers have been shown to discriminate against former foster kids. Interviews might be going well, until the conversation becomes cold when it's revealed you were in foster care. This might be due to misconceptions about foster kids like assumptions that we are troubled, delinquent, mentally ill, socially maladjusted or violent. Some confuse foster care group homes with juvie. And in other cases, these stereotypes about former foster kids and delinquent behaviour are true to some degree. Among prison populations, former foster kids are overrepresented, however studies also indicate that former foster kids are more severely punished by the justice system than their peers.

I would say that there definitely is a stigma attached to being a foster kid. People absolutely do use it against you. People will use it like an insult, similar to how people say "you're adopted" as an insult (which has happened to me too although I'm not adopted. I think people conflate adoption and foster care). People get super uncomfortable with the topic of foster care. I remember this one girl who basically ran away from me when I told her I was in foster care. She said "sorry" and abruptly ended the conversation and took off almost in a run. She was acting like I was shameful and treated me like how some people treat people with disabilities or an obvious deformity - don't stare, don't engage, just walk away.

I used to listen to this podcast called female dating strategy and one of their pieces of advice is to NEVER ever tell a guy (especially a potential dating prospect) that you were abused. It doesn't matter if you were abused by your ex, your dad, or even your brother. Do not tell him your ex was abusive because it lowers the bar for him. He gets the idea in his head that there is a certain level of mistreatment that you will tolerate. And if your father or your brother were abusive or misogynistic, it's better not to tell your dating prospects because then he thinks you don't have protective men in your life. You are advised to lie and even suggest that your father and brother are good and protective because it can deter predatory males. If you advertise that you have an abusive/absent father and an abusive ex and there's no protective older brother/guy to defend you, then you become a magnet for abusive men. And I agree with them.

These women are right in describing this dynamic. However, trying to overcome this dynamic is easier said than done. What am I supposed to do as a former foster kid - hire actors to play the role of my father and older brother throughout my entire life? Eventually the fact that I was in foster care comes out. If I'm to get married, who walks me down the aisle? To what extent do I lie to protect myself from abuse? Should I live in fear of people knowing I was in foster care?

I think it's interesting that in the UK there is a growing interest in considering experience in foster care a protected characteristic (like race or sex). I've read about this consideration and it was interesting that they noted that former foster kids are discriminated against in relationships. Not just the workplace, but discriminated in relationships. That was very interesting seeing that acknowledged because a lot of people act super fake and pretend they would treat foster kids well because they see us as charity cases and are virtue signalling. But in practice, a lot of these same people talk massive shit about us and will tell people to avoid us because we were in foster care. I've heard other former foster kids describe socializing as constantly being hazed. It's as if you're never considered part of the family, you're constantly kept at a distance but people might tantalize you with hope and promises of in-laws maybe accepting you someday. Other former foster kids describe the dating scene as treating them as a "pump and dump".

But I don't think I should have to live in fear of people knowing I was in foster care. I remember taking my friend's advice and even the FDS podcast advice and applying to real life situations and it actually worked. If I omitted the fact I was in foster care or characterized an abusive person in my life as some wholesome person, people treated me SO much better than any time I told the truth about my history in foster care or the encounters I had with abusive people. People honestly seem to despise me when I am honest about my experiences. It's almost like mob mentality too. People will gang up on you. I'm sure that this behaviour is explained somewhere in psychology or sociology (I guess Just World Theory or something) but when you're a young person coming out of foster care, this social dynamic is so difficult to adapt to because you get opposite messages in foster care. In foster care, they normalize acknowledging trauma, abuse, neglect...but then in the real world these topics are avoided and taboo. So you kinda seem like the weirdo if you disclose your history. You will shock people and they will say you are "trauma dumping" or they'll even accuse you of lying. It becomes its own drama.

#foster care #foster kids #Former foster youth #Former foster kid problems

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spidereggs888 · 9 months ago

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Miguel’s new secretary ooh-la-la

(lol /j 💀)

Miguel O’Hara & y/n, any gender or non gender. Very casual writing style. TW Dark humor, dangerous situations, 18+. Y/n are sorta attracted to Miguel (why else would you be here?) but he doesn’t know you lol

This is a loooong read so make sure you have time or something. Also, there’s an illustration in the middle of the chapter! Enjoy

≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋

MIGUEL & YOU

ACT 1 | ALGORITHMIC LOTTERY

It's the year 2110.

You are maneuvering through traffic in a sputtery fashion, the lifter problem in your engine getting so bad it almost sounds like you got rocks under the hood. The podcast is going on about alligators in Nueva York sewers.

“Couldn’t be more wrong,” you mumble, “there’s CROCODILES in the sewers, not alligators.”

You aren’t looking forward to this interview. How the heck did you manage an audition for office secretary to the CEO of Alchemax?!

“I don’t know,” you say aloud to your other self, “but if I get the job, Imma upgrade to a better ride than this heap of Maglev shit…”

But there’s other bitches who want this position. Two of them you are aware of: Syd and Brody. Syd is a real suck up who will say any damn thing to get the position. She out-groveled you and got the lead PR accounting job you wanted. Suck-up Syd is what you call her around your friends. Brody on the other hand is opposite; he thinks he can strong-arm his way into anything and he pretty much has. He’s kicked people down, screwed people over, and there’s a rumor he filed a sexual harassment charge on his friend Ashton just to get the promotion before Ashton could.

These two skanks are gonna be tricky, but that’s the least of why you loathe this whole thing. You also heard that Miguel O’Hara is a hard ass. When he came into power a few years ago, he immediately fired the former secretary for talking about his father in a positive light. Then he proceeded to chew and spit out people who ever had the misfortune of being in that job position.

“Or maybe they just cut their losses after raking in half a billion,” your friend Speshall guessed the last time you seen her, “they prolly couldn’t take the heat for that long so they waited until they were set for life then said something stupid on purpose to get him to let them go. What a retirement plan! To work for the sexiest man of the year then have him berate you on your way out!”

She was always like this.

Anyway, now your car is not being validated in the automated parking center.

“What the HELL?!”

“Sorry, your credit has been declined.”

“Oh fuck me-“

You fumble your lanyard of data sticks. You are looking for the green one, which has a small amount of credit you procured from test playing phone games. You lean out of your car window to bring the green stick drive near the wireless reader.

“Sorry, we cannot accept credit from online gambling. Please use another method of payment.”

“Oh fuck you!”

≋ ≋ ≋ ≋

Now you are walking. You had to park where they don’t give a shit about where your money is from. Alchemax is trying to create a good precedent by not accepting dirty money, but Alchemax, as far as you know, does dirtier stuff for pay. Why the hell is “gambling money” any different?!

Scowling so hard, you almost didn’t notice there’s some douchebag trying to walk close behind you. He probably saw the lanyard of data sticks around your neck, so you fluff your scarf around until they are covered.

“I don’t have any money, muh guy” you say in your heaviest Nueva York accent along with this generations lingo.

“Oh I’m not afta you. I was tryna tell ya there’s this otha weirdo following ya. I’m tryna group up here.”

You know better than to look back. That’s what this fucko wants you to do. He’s probably a flasher, so you walk into traffic.

“Hey that’s dangerous, yo!”

You don’t listen. Cars flying past is not as scary as going up to see the freakin CEO of Alchemax.

No cars hit you, so now you have to face reality. You walk into the Alchemax Business Bureau building (one of hundreds), and wave your ID at the receptionist in the lobby. The receptionist is preoccupied with a lady who has one hand on her hip and the other holding out a holo watch. It’s projecting a screen with a giant hourglass animation flipping over and over.

“I don’t know why it’s so hard to get a damn cup of coffee around here, I just don’t!”

“C’mon it’s not necessary to bring security here, ma’am.”

He remains standing behind his desk and grimaces at you. You really need to get him to validate your ID so you won’t be stopped by security, so you pull up your phone and say to the woman, “you want some coffee coupons for Dunkin Donuts?”

“What?”

You open your savings app and hastily air-swipe several coupons to her holo device like someone flicking bills at a stripper. She stops to look at them.

“A regular frap for half off? Oh woooow, how- will they really honor this?” She asks.

“Yeah! It’s good for two more days, so you may wanna hurry over to the kiosk at the west end.”

“Really?”

“They sell all brands of coffee, they’ll honor it.”

“Well, nevermind, then,” she says curtly to the receptionist as she turns her shoulder away, “Didn’t want hours-old coffee anyway.”

She turns on her fancy heel and trots away. You grin stupidly at the receptionist who rolls his eyes and snatches your ID card from you. He swipes it near his card reader then flicks it back without a word.

After a nod, you swiftly leave down the lobby to the elevator area. You round the corner and see an open elevator closing. It's the only one since the other two are under construction. You rush forward as fast as your legs will allow.

"Wait wait WAIT WAIT!"

The doors are closing and you see the face of Suck-up Syd with her smoky eyes and faux fur capelet. She smiles and does nothing as the doors close.

"Shocking typical," you grumble. But you know where the other elevator is. You take off to the other end of the building for the second set of elevators.

You make it onto the elevator with two other people, some white chick and an Indian dude. The lady sees your pass.

"Going for the secretary job?" She asks.

"Yeah."

“Me too. If I don’t get this, I’m going to jump from this building,” the lady jokes.

“If I get this, I WILL jump from this building,” you add.

“Either way, it's gonna be job security for the custodian department,” the Indian guy says. All three of you chuckle politely.

The elevator lets more people in. You check your phone. You are fucking late by 20 minutes, but so is the lady who wants this job or else. You assume it would have taken a while anyway, since there was about 15 people going in for this very same job. Could it be you?! Could you land this job?! What if your mom was wrong?! And what if O’Hara says yes? What if you are set for life?

The final floor of this elevator is reached. You wobble on your way out. The lady doesn’t move.

“Actually, I can’t do this. I’m going home.”

The elevator doors close and she goes back down. You hear a faint byeeeeeeeeeee as the elevator descends to lower levels. You pay no heed and follow the Indian man into the massive hall.

There’s already chaos. One guy is being escorted out of the lobby by his shirt collar, and he's spouting obscenities. Some lady had dropped all her paperwork and she’s too numb to pick it up again. Two ladies near her are sarcastically wishing each other luck, one of them is Suck-up Syd. She looks 10x more desperate today with her tight-fitting outfit and belt buckle the size of a plate. Her overly fake smile gives you no esteem or hope. You almost sit but realize there’s barf on the chair.

Okay, surely everyone is overreacting in here.

“Man I’m not scared at all. There’s a trick to facing down Alpha males,” says a guy who you didn’t ask.

“Ah, cool.” you say through a grin. It’s Brody. You don’t even have to see him to know he’s there with his overwhelming presence of snobbery.

“See, as a Sigma male,” he continues, leaning on the back of the barf chair to talk to you, “I don’t adhere to the Alpha’s orders. That’s how the pack survives! One guy is an outlier so like if the Alpha fails in his role as leader, the Sigma will show by example and the rest of the females and Betas will follow him-“

“BRODY!”

You and Brody see Ashton in the doorway you came from. Ashton beelines across the room with his briefcase raised high. He brings it down on Brody with a loud clunk and they grapple and exchange blows. You go ahead and sit down perfectly still.

"Oh my GOD!" Suck-up Syd muses. She only sees this as two less competitors. You wince as the men start yelling obscenities at each other in their struggle. The guards who took out the last guy come back in and see this happening and they both huff angrily.

"Next!"

"Ah, that's me!" Syd says, “you guys are welcome to leave, I probably got this in the bag.”

She gets up and thrusts her capelet onto the lobby assistant.

.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱ⋅.˳ ˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.

Four hours pass. Brody and Ashton were escorted from the building, those bozos didn’t even get an interview, but it was funny watching Brody get dragged down to hell by a demon he wronged.

Suck-up Syd walked out in tears and a forced smile. You felt bad for making fun of her in the past. She’s just kinda desperate and a little pathetic. You assume groveling doesn't work on the boss.

Other people came and went swiftly. The cheerful Indian man from earlier left looking surprised at his failure. The lady who dropped all her crap earlier apparently already had an interview and was reeling from her bad luck. You understand their disappointment since being chosen for this position was like winning the lottery, except you don't know if you won or not.

“Next!”

Your stomach twists but you refuse to be like them. This is just a job. You’ll be answering phones, emails, and possibly even mailing some dry cleaning. No big fuckin deal.

You thank the lobby assistant but she ignores you and walks away. She is just doing her job. She looks very tired of everyone else’s shit and is probably glad it's over. You walk to the elevator where the second to last person is taking baby-steps, talking on his phone with someone nursing his wounded pride. That could be you in a minute.

I'm probably not gonna get it either, you think, but I'm going down with some dignity.

You work yourself up as you step into yet another elevator, this one glass paneled. You stare across Nueva York as you ascend, contemplating your future. So what if you don't make it? You will simply fall back to your job and go about your life. Your mom will say she's right about the invitation being a fluke. You will go back to paying off debts and supplementing your food budget by testing mobile phone games during work hours and before you go to sleep. You see your own reflection, no longer as young as you used to be, and you sigh.

The glass doors open behind you. You walk through another set of foggy glass doors. Despite your self pep talk, you are still not looking forward to this. You've seen pictures of Miguel O'Hara before; over 6 feet tall, wide shoulders that could support an ox yoke, and a presence so large one would think he could go toe to toe with Godzilla. How will the interview go? You imagine fire. You expect a demon sitting behind a black marble desk in the darkness, a horrendous mob boss wearing Scarface attire, spitting fiery facts and passing cruel judgment, his horns ascending at the heavens with searing indifference and contempt for mercy. You expect a fax machine in the corner that will print out your death.

This is not what you see.

There he is, in this meager temp office sitting behind a tiny desk covered in empty water bottles. His shoulders are wider than the desk, but he's scrunching them in to seem normal. He's wearing a regular dress shirt, no tie. No fancy jewelry either, just some off-brand oversized watch on his left wrist. He looks disappointed already, but not at you. He’s squinting down at some of the tiny desks’ interactive holo-projections. You see your name on one of the files he’s peering at through comically large anti glare glasses.

You don’t sit. You are too stressed. He hasn’t noticed you. He picks up one of the water bottles and carefully opens it with his monster hands. They look travel-sized compared to him. He sips it and notices you.

“Hello!” You greet.

He finishes it in two gulps and sets it down slowly, as to not disturb the other bottles.

“Okay I don’t have a lot of time left, so let’s cut through here… you work for the guys in the PR department-“

“Ah yeah, they are a very friendly bunch down there! That is until you get to know them!” You blurt out. He looks up at you with tired eyes and swipes through the files without looking at them.

“Says here you were demoted from vice head PR accounting a while back, but you attached a note saying you have an alibi? Let’s hear it.”

“Uhhh.”

“C’mon I don’t have all day.”

“There was a payment discrepancy, uh, I was given a raise but I noticed my boss didn’t update it for a whole month. He was on vacation and wasn't answering my calls, so... since he left the finances to me I updated it myself… And I got into trouble BUT it was technically not embezzlement, so I was given an ultimatum to either move to a lower department or get fired, so-“

“Self-reliant. Got it. There's a note from your current department head saying she's been notified anonymously that you've been paying for Alchemax home services with gambling money, what do you have to say about that?"

"I- that is a th- thing with SoloGameMedia, ah, they are a parent company to a gambling franchise, therefore every transaction from them is registered as gambling profit- but I test games with- from them directly! It's a side hustle- thing, I- that, I DO NOT playtest games during work hours! Only on-"

"Why do you think I should hire you?”

You are caught off guard by the most basic interview question.

“Hhhhhh WELL… because you need a secretary now?”

He’s already looking back down at the files again. You can see NYPD files, apparently he’s now looking at your small criminal record. You also notice his shirt is unbuttoned on the top. For curiosity's sake, you discreetly raise up on your toes to see down his cleavage. It's deeper than you expected. One mighty flex and that shirt will send buttons flying everywhere. He looks back up as you quickly drop back down on your heels.

“Yeah. Mmm. Ok. So you are way in over your head in college and credit debt, you have been gambling as a means to get by- really don’t care about that, and you did not dispute your boss's ultimatum when you had the chance."

"Wait, what?"

"Four years ago, when your boss gave you the ultimatum to get demoted or get fired. His proposal was ILLEGAL."

Your gut twists.

"That- that was illegal?!"

"You had six months to report him and you didn't. Why?"

"Be- because I just thought he was being fair, I-"

"I'm sorry, but you got screwed."

He looks sincere behind those nerdy lenses with his pout lips. You really want to throw something right now.

“I… oh…”

"Look, the most I can do is re-open your case," he says as he pushes his glasses back up his nose bridge, "You might get a small settlement out of it, but even that isn't guaranteed."

"So... I'm not getting the job?"

"How do you expect to get hired with such an unexceptional history of white collar crime and a meek attitude that's gotten you nowhere? Hey Lyla? Is this all we have?”

An AI assistant pops up from the interactive desk.

“This is the last one, sir.”

“Okay, cool. Look I’m sure you’re actually great at your job, but I have places to be-“

“Wha- well so do I!”

“Uh huh, nice talking to you,“ he scoots his chair back and hits his knee on the tiny desk, sending empty bottles scattering all over the room. He cringes.

“Well if I’m so unexceptional, why was I accepted for an interview?!”

“I’m gonna guess because of some algorithmic lottery? Probably to do with the amount of experience you have in your department, I dunno,” He guesses as he attempts to gather the bottles by sweeping them under the desk with his shoes, “If you wanna blame someone for the short interview time, thank those other time-wasters who came before you. I gotta go.”

“Now WAIT a… minute”

He stands up from his tiny desk as you say that. He’s towering over you with a tired expression and loose strands of hair about his face.

“What?” He asks, all friendliness gone.

“Can we continue this interview at a different time? You obviously haven’t found a secretary you want, but you still need one, right?! I could be the one you need even if I’m not the one you want!”

It takes every inch of your being to not slap yourself on the forehead. He is scrunching his nose, squinting down at you with mild contempt. You get a good look at his sharp, broad temples and cheekbones, complete with a hardened jaw. His thick dark lips are pulled to one side in annoyance and are accentuated with a pair of jowls that look poised to bite at any time like some kind of deep sea angler fish. His eyes are very dark. They almost look red…

His expression goes blank as he sighs.

“Okay.”

“Great! Ah, when?!”

“Tomorrow, same time.”

“Grabsolutely- Great- fantastic! I won’t let you down!”

“Uh huh.”

He leaves. You assume you should leave too. You awkwardly follow him. He grabs his coat off a nearby chair, and you get a brief display of his amazing body shape as he flips the coat over his shoulders. You avert your attention to the floor, already feeling disrespectful after having looked down his shirt. Now you are both in the elevator. You are doing all in your power not to pass out over your small lucky break.

O’Hara pretends you aren’t there as he looks at his phone and chats with his AI assistant.

“Lyla, push the evening meeting to tomorrow as well, except an hour earlier.”

“Roger that!”

“I need coffee.”

“Roger that also!”

“Please, PLEASE tell them to not add cream. I really hate when they do that.”

You wanna ask him if he’s lactose intolerant but you already pushed your luck today.

Apparently he is exiting the building in the same way you are going, but he's booking it with long ass strides and it's difficult to keep up. You both end up on the same elevator again, this time with other people. He awkwardly acknowledges you with a blank smirk and brow raise, then promptly looks back down at his phone. Everyone else is trying not to bother him.

"Hello, Mister O'Hara, I didn't realize you were here! Hi!" says a lady who is shooting her shot at a social connection (she totally knew he was there.)

"Ah, hey. Miss...?"

"Stacy Brian! We met at the Student Festival earlier this year."

"Oh, right, right! Miss Brian, how are you?"

"Doing well! I didn’t know you wore glasses!"

"Oh- I totally forgot these were on my face," he admits while taking them off and trying to find a place to stash them, "I actually don’t wear glasses, it's- um, I have issues with bright computer screens."

You discreetly watch him in the elevator wall reflection as he quickly swaps the lenses out for a pair of red sunglasses. The elevator doors open and everyone flows out into the foyer. You realize you never got his card.

"Hey one more thing, sir!" You call out to him.

"What?"

"I don't have your number! What if we need to reschedule?!"

"Ah, right. Get your phone out, please."

He turns back around and searches for something on his phone. With a swift flick of his hand, he air drops his ID and number to your device.

"Thank you!"

"¡De nada!"

He swiftly leaves through the front doors and trots down the steps. You watch this huge marvel of nature hail a cab. The automated transporter car is so small that he has to bring his shoulders in tight to fit through the doorway. This seems to have more to do with him not wanting to snag his nice jacket.

A man of this position and wealth... hailing a cab? Must be in THAT much of a hurry. You look down at the data he sent you. His ID photo looks like they took his picture after pulling an all-nighter, and his half-hearted smile reveals his crooked teeth. But somehow he still looks great in an unconventional way.

•°《💀》°•

You drive home, feeling both anxious and also deflated. Miguel O'Hara was a mixed bag of what you expected. Speshall hyped him up as a sexy hunk of the year and Brody felt so intimidated that he went on an unwarranted Alpha Male rant, but the guy was so awkward with his tiny desk and water bottles and weird glasses, and he was whining to his AI helper about his coffee. He’s a large… finicky… lactose-intolerant nerd, but he's also got the moxy to move mountains. What’s more, now ya gotta think of what to say to him in the next interview. What could be expected of a guy like that? What if he cancels the meeting and your chance is lost forever?

Your car makes it home and you sit in it for a moment. Speshall left you a text asking about the interview.

Went weird, you text back.

"Welcome back, tenant 27," the AI apartment valet greets.

You open your car door and notice you've been parked over the grates again. You remember when you last dropped your phone in this spot, the fucking thing went right in between the grate holes and you couldn’t get it back for a week. You have the presence of mind to upload the latest bit of information (O'Hara's phone number) to your data cloud.

You walk through the parking garage. You know all the safe routes. It didn’t matter who you were, Nueva York was never safe at night.

You hear footsteps to your left but it’s just a couple of people walking together, a man and woman trying to huddle. The garage opening is just ahead. You go ahead and march out, not looking back.

You step out into the warm breeze of middle-class Nueva York. The wind is artificial, billowing from the hydro-electric plants that keeps this city running. It took you forever to get here, a lot of cheap-skating, white lies, and debt piling to maintain this life, but you are here! Unapologetic holo screens buzz near you as you walk, begging you to spend money as they light up the way to your apartment. There's no point in tapping their "no" buttons since that just wastes your time. The screens showcased brand-new cars, beautiful clothes, and radiant health. If you had more money, at least some of that could be yours. You hate that people roll around in all the wonderful things this world has to offer while you have to make do with decade old clothing and over-processed food. Where the hell is everyone getting it all from? When the hell will you get yours?

“Hey! Wanna buy a shared data cloud?!”

You are now being bothered by a salesman. You say nothing and keep walking. Even saying no opens more dialogue. He gives up but another comes at you.

“Wanna be a part of the elite task force that edits any and all articles about Thor?! It’s a paying job! $100 an hour!”

As dystopian as it sounds, $100 an hour won’t get you far in Nueva York, not in this era of quadrillionaires.

“Hey, I saw ya on da street earlier! Ya walked into traffic!”

You accidentally glance over at the familiar voice talking about the familiar subject. He’s got you. Your eyes are fixated on a creepypasta face, his irises flashing in a hypnotic pattern. This was way worse than the idea of the guy being just a flasher.

He’s a black market demon. The worst street hawker known to man.

You can’t remember much else besides him taking you by the hand and leading you away.

_________________________________________

Next: ACT 2 | BLACK MARKET DEMONS

#miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 #miguel x you #kinda #not really #more like awkward turtle #MIGUEL & YOU #Spiderman 2099 fanfic #atsv miguel #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o’hara x y/n

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skoulsons · 2 years ago

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It’s really tiring hearing so many complain about how there’s not enough violence or action in the show. Sure, these people don’t dive as deep as we do. They don’t listen to the podcast or look at the inside the episodes or look into the micro expressions in every scene and listen to the way certain lines are delivered or what have you. They haven’t heard Craig talk how it’s a love story or about why they toned down the violence so that, when violence does happen, it’s more impactful (ie QZ soldier, Bryan, sniper section, the guy at the university, and we know what’s to come in the last two episodes which I believe they’re saving the bulk of it for, iykyk).

But what I don’t get is people saying there’s too much talking and drama. Yeah, majority of the game is actually playing the game, and what ‘playing’ is is action and actually doing something, not being in constant conversation. That would make for a boring game if all it was was talking. I understand the notion of wanting more, considering the people who’ve played the game would want something like the game gives them. But it is a video game. That stuff is made extra and couldn’t happen irl, like listening mode?? Or Joel surviving his game injury?? Or the fact that none of it is real??

Even in the game, there’s still so much talking that goes on, even in gameplay. In those little conversations. Some being optional, some not. It’s not like talking isn’t a thing. It’s not like drama is nonexistent.

But this game, this story, is a drama. In a way it is for me, at least. It’s about Joel and Ellie. It’s about love in the midst of an incredibly broken and terrifying world. It’s about these two people finding each other and being the parts of each other the other needed. Even parts like the cache of guns (car battery in show) is still drama. Having to smuggle Ellie. Even the fireflies are drama in their own sense. Ellie finding her worth in her immunity. Joel trying to get rid of Ellie. Joel and Ellie’s growth into father and daughter. Something like that isn’t just the flip of a switch. Things actually have to happen, and those ‘things’ aren’t violence; its bonding on their journey together. The main themes in the show are drama between characters and the fate of the world as they know it. It really is the whole point.

They’ve balanced and adapted the show very well, I think. And to hear a lot of these people saying “it’s not faithful!!” Or “there’s too much talking!!” Is getting annoying. You want a faithful adaptation? Good luck, cause I think every other video game adaptation has been shit on. As for not liking the amount of talking and not enough violence, go play Dark Souls or Assassins Creed to fuel your need for murder. We will not wait for you to come back

#rant? kinda?#I hope this made sense. I’m just sick of people #i haven’t seen anyone on here complain #but other socials it’s getting annoying #it’s mostly guys like #‘I’ve played the game three times!! it’s so bad!!#my brother I have put more time and effort in the last year and a half to understanding this game and relationship on such a deep level #it’s good. you just need to be happy when something is good.#but I guess you can’t always make everyone happy ✌🏻 oh well #the last of us #the last of us hbo #tlou spoilers

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panelshowsource · 7 months ago

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this is such a great episode!

for anyone who hasn't listened yet — it deals with some heavy things including food addiction and eating disorders, death, and more, so anyone who wants to check it out should be aware it's about richard's own history and his self-identified "failures", and it's not particularly light-hearted or funny even though it's endearing and inspiring in many ways

i really appreciate his honesty and how carefully he speaks. he has every right to be angry — with his father leaving, with his relationship to food and shame, with the ever-present confines of modern masculinity making life so lonely for men — but he never seems to be. he just cares about being the best, healthiest version of himself. and i appreciate that he doesn't talk at people, preach, act like he knows more or best; he just knows what he knows all while seeking to always be learning more. i really appreciate him!

i've never heard of a podcast by tailors, how interesting! i listened to the episode with alex and it was really sweet! i'll post this in case anyone else wants to check it out :)

(of course 💜)

same, i'd only really heard of it because i got a bunch of messages about it! (i was a little unplugged from scripted tv when the first series came out 😅)

TOTALLY AGREE about jon pointing! his comedic timing, his facial expressions, he is just too hilarious — even though...can i just say...why was that old ass man playing a uni student X_X

anyways — i knew him from plebs!! that's quite a famous itv2 series, so you should check it out and see if you like it! i love tom basden ugh and if you check my non-panel shows masterpost i have live at the moth club and he does standup in ep1!

i am somewhat familiar with it as someone who likes to watch some of the nextup specials (alistair barrie was one i enjoyed recently!) and tries to keep abreast of the festival nominees & winners, but i don't have as much time as i'd like to really weed out my favourites only because there isn't enough time in the day and i'm already trying to watch 100 things a day 🥲

one thing i find funny is how i pay more attention to who would do well on tv opposed to who is just GOOD. like, i didn't get john kearns until stopped thinking about him in the context of dictionary corner and started acknowledging his written set as a very, very specific piece of work that really shouldn't be disassembled and consumed in morsels. but i do see my interest in — and potentially my preference for — panel shows reflected in some of the circuit guys i like, such as alasdair beckett-king, huge davies, larry david. i just know they would kill panel show world if they were pushed properly :')

i find that i like standup a lot more live than i do on screen — which i think a lot of comedians would understand!

as well, i find the discourse about how difficult it is to get started/off the ground now that edinburgh fringe is becoming less and less accessible extremely fascinating and try to listen to all of the podcasts/convos about that that i can. it's costing comedians upwards of 5k just to debut a modest set at edinburgh — which is madness. here is tom mayhew talking to bbc news about this just a couple of weeks ago...

anyways, is there someone you wanted to recommend? i would love to check out anything 😚

—

daniel sloss standup — added a couple of those to drive! god i looooooved him when i was in high school and still do! highly recommend him on roast battle uk if you need extra sloss content. i'll work on the others over the next couple of weeks

alma's not normal — added to drive!

here we go — i know exactly where this is so i can hook you up but imma need you to dm/ask me off anon for the deets!

hold the front page + the unofficial science of home alone — sorry anons i don't have these on me but they're very easy requests someone can hook you up with on r/tv_bunny, so post them there!

—

PANEL SHOW WATCH LINKS / NON-PANEL SHOW WATCH LINKS FAQ / TAGS / ASK

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mariacallous · 10 months ago

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The good folks at the Know Your Enemy podcast (Matthew Sitman and Sam Adler-Bell) did a recent episode w/ Erik Baker called “Bomb Power,” named after the 2010 book by Garry Wills, Bomb Power: The Modern Presidency and the National Security State.

As someone who spent the first half of his career doing guns-and-bombs security studies, I can’t believe I hadn’t heard of this book before listening to the podcast.

Upon Google-Scholar-ing Bomb Power, I discovered it had 166 citations—very, very modest for an author as well-known as Wills. And scanning through who’s been citing it, I see mostly historians (not international-relations or strategic studies scholars). So I suppose my ignorance about the book is normal within my field.

But their discussion on the episode triggered me in a few ways, leading me to ponder what happened to the conservatives who support peace—that used to be a thing.

A “Don’t Break Things” Conservative

Wills’s politics don’t map well onto our current context.

He had ties to William F. Buckley and the National Review crowd. And his prolific writing often went after liberals, especially Kennedy (though his book Nixon Agonistes was a masterclass and did not spare Nixon of his critical prose).

But Wills recognized that power had a tendency to corrupt. That America itself had been guilty of great evils whose consequences it never repaired. And that if a preference for limited government meant anything at all, it meant a commitment to limiting the power of the national security state—there was no military exemption from the “limited government” mantra.

When I was finishing my PhD at the Catholic University of America (I enrolled there having no idea about its very conservative reputation), I studied under and socialized with conservatives like Wills. They mostly hated the Bush administration, generally thought the Iraq War was insane, and were critical of what had become the imperial presidency. (Before you romanticize them too much, they also hosted Brett Kavanaugh and Newt Gingrich at various times, they largely believed in civilizational (as in clash of civilizations) politics, and some of them seemed to think race science had merit…)

These days, it’s fairly common for people to claim they’re progressive while actually being center-right economic liberals with limited tolerance for anything redistributive. Wills cut in the opposite direction. As the Know Your Enemy guys talk about in the episode, Wills at times took up policy positions that we would think of as progressive, but he identified as a conservative. Why?

Aside from personal affection for the label, I suspect this has to do with his Burkean “don’t break things” sensibility, as well as the sense that 1) the common good is achievable within the nation-state itself, 2) the Founding Fathers had something to teach us and/or were extraordinary, and 3) the Constitution is a holy-adjacent document.

I think that perspective is intellectually unsatisfying and a political dead end. But YMMV.

The important thing is that folks who believe that stuff are folks you can work with sometimes. And if you’re in mortal danger, they’re the kind of American who just might help you out. More importantly, if any part of the right is recruitable into an antifascist coalition, it’s the “don’t break things” conservatives.

An Endangered Species

You can still find conservatives like Wills out there in American society. I know of one or two pundits who would fit this category of principled, preservationist conservatism. And, funnily enough, there are a lot of these types in New Zealand (a country with every type of conservative).

But in Washington, this species of conservative doesn’t exist. Not a single Republican official can claim fidelity to the Willsian template. To a man—and they’re mostly men—the electoral GOP has repudiated everything meaningful in the “don’t break things” tradition.

Talking Like a Peacenik

The remarkable thing about Wills’s Bomb Power is how much it reads like a leftist critical text. It would go too far to call Wills a historical materialist, but his implicit philosophy is not incompatible with it.

His invocation of the national security state—a term with which any Un-Diplomatic reader is by now very familiar—originated with Marcus Raskin, a co-founder of the Institute for Policy Studies (the first progressive think tank in Washington). IPS was and remains an expressly antimilitarist presence in Washington, and one of the few institutions there that can claim ties to the peace progressives who constitute what I think are the grassroots of the Democratic Party.

Wills’s reference to permanent war and the economy that supports it owes to Seymour Melman, a left-aligned peace intellectual who popularized (and possibly coined) “permanent war economy” through a series of books and essays that deserve a much wider reading.

And Wills’s claim that nuclear weapons are fundamentally tools of despotism that have permanently disempowered democracy is a pretty common view on the left going back to George Orwell’s classic essay, “You and the Atom Bomb” (which I still teach!).

What all this suggests is that Wills was a conservative who read widely. You might even say he was open-minded.

As such, he made analytical use of the criticisms against the powerful rendered by people with whom he likely disagreed. And he did so, at least partly, in the name of peace. Good luck finding someone like that in the Republican Party today.

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mygreatadventurehasbegun · 1 year ago

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Attempted listening to another podcast episode about Phantom ‘43, and once again, I could not make it all the way through.

To be fair, I made it farther than I had other podcast’s take on this movie...but yeah...

First of all, I’ll give them props for the fact that they were trying to be nice, complimenting the art direction, the talented actors, etc. But once again, this was a case of people just not fully paying attention to what is happening onscreen...and having some weird takes, if I’m honest.

I’ll start with the moment that finally made me stop listening. They are talking about the scene where Christine plays the lullaby for Anatole...and they say: “Christine is playing the same lullaby that Claudin plays, so this is why he wrote the concerto around the lullaby, because he heard Christine play it.”

And I literally stopped what I was doing and yelled “what?!” to these people I don’t know (thankfully I was alone, or this would have been awkward).

Guys.

Did you not hear Claudin say that the lullaby was from Provence, where he was born?

And Christine saying that she’s from Provence, and she’s known the song her entire life?

And Anatole saying that both Claudin and Christine were from the same district and “everyone there must have known that old folk song”?

This is kind of a huge plot point.

But now to the main thing that bugged me about this particular podcast episode. It was clear that one host was in charge of behind-the-scenes research, but he left out a pretty...significant...fact about the making of this movie. The fact that Claudin was written to be Christine’s father, but censors thought it seemed incestuous and cut it out. And them leaving that out wouldn’t bother me too much, if they hadn’t mentioned so many other things about this movie: how they originally wanted it to star Deanna Durbin, Nelson Eddy not wanting to dye his hair, designing the makeup to be sensitive for returning vets*...pretty much all the trivia you can get off of IMDb and the DVD special features...so how the hell did they miss this??

Also, because one of their main complaints was about the script...how they could have used an extra 10 minutes to flesh out the characters more...and I’m standing there thinking...they had that...they shot it...and it was cut.

And one of them had a weird complaint about the music...he didn’t like the fact that the operatic sequences were so long (which almost made me turn the episode off), that they slowed down the movie, and were pointless because the operas they were performing in didn’t comment on the story...But then he also says that there should have been more music, to again, comment on the story. I think he wanted it more like the ALW Phantom and didn’t understand that the operas aren’t supposed to tie into the story being told...we’re just watching these people do their jobs and what’s important is what’s happening around them. And that opening sequence has so much character development, how could someone say that it’s not tied into the story...just because the story of the opera isn’t the same as the story of the movie? It was such a weird contradictory statement, that was hard for me to follow (and I’m sure is tough to read, too...sorry, lol).

*And a tiny thing they mentioned about the makeup...apparently, they found a source that Claude Rains didn’t want to have a full face of makeup because he thought it would wreck his chances of getting good leading roles. And that lessening the makeup out of sensitivity to combat vet was someone else’s idea, not Claude Rains’. Now, obviously, I don’t know the full truth, because I wasn’t there (dammit), but this seems like bullshit. Everything I’ve read points towards Rains being the one who was aware of combat vets and that was the reason why he didn’t want the makeup to go too over the top. Which makes sense, considering what happened to him in WWI. And Claude Rains being vain about not getting lead roles? I mean...maybe there was a little vanity, but he was pretty much always a character/supporting actor for his entire career...and in his late forties, I can’t see him campaigning for the “romantic leading man” roles.

And they kept comparing the movie to a soap opera...mostly because there’s a love triangle.

‘Kay.

There was only one thing about the entire episode that actually brought me a tiny bit of joy...and it was the fact that Claude Rains actually studied piano and violin in preparation for playing the role.

Which I’m not sure we can take as 100% fact, as there were other questionable facts in this podcast...and he obviously wasn’t playing live...but it’s a nice thought and I’m grasping for anything positive.

One of these days, I am going to make either a massive podcast or YouTube video series about this movie. It will probably end up being 14 hours long, because I have so much to say....and I’ll be so busy correcting every single podcaster I’ve heard, that will probably take up at least an hour.

@hobbitmajora

#The Phantom of the Opera #phantom 1943 #phantom of the opera 1943 #claude rains

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thisaintascenereviews · 1 year ago

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AJR - The Maybe Man

Up until listening to pop-rock / indie-pop AJR’s new album, The Maybe Man, I only knew that a lot of people hated them. I had only listened to a couple songs, and I never thought they were outright horrible, but I wouldn’t want to listen to a full record of that. Well, things change, and I decided to be morbidly curious about The Maybe Man, both because I had never heard a full record from these guys and because the circumstances behind it were interesting. This record was written either before or during their father’s passing, as AJR is composed of three brothers whose first name comprise the initials of the band, so they were really going through it. I also listened to a podcast that they were on and talked about the record, so it made me want to hear it, since they seem like great, earnest, and down to earth guys that love music, so I hunkered down late last week and spent some time listening to this record. Is this band as bad as most stuffy online critics make them out to be?

Honestly, no, not at all. While I won’t say that this is the best album of the year, it’s a genuinely good one that kind of surprised me. I had a lot of fun with this, and I found myself surprised by how solid it truly was. I don’t want to oversell this album as some kind of masterpiece, because it’s not, but this record is a lot of fun and oddly poignant in some ways. This album is kind of rooted in rather sad themes, with a lot of songs being about disillusioned with fame, dealing with mental illness, struggling with getting older, and their father’s passing. This album has some good hooks, such as “Touchy Feely Fool,” “Yes I’m A Mess,” “Intertia,” and “Hole In The Bottom Of My Brain,” among others. Hell, the song “Steve’s Going To London” is a song that’s kind of a commentary on how songs don’t need to be about anything. The first half is a bunch of nonsense lyrics about a bunch of people doing unrelated things, and the song jumps into a bit of meta commentary on how they tried to a write a song that tries too hard to be about writing a song.

The album’s centerpiece, though, is the second to last song “God Is Really Real.” This is the track about their father’s passing and it’s honestly kind of a tearjerker. You can really feel the band’s pain as they come to terms with it, but some of the song is about how they’re in denial of their dad’s illness. It’s not attempting to be corny, silly, or over the top, but it’s grounded in more reality. The title is also rather interesting, because one of the biggest lines in the song is “God is really real when you really, really need him,” and “God’s fucking fake ‘til he’s not,” which is a variation on the idea that someone is only an atheist until something bad happens and they need to pray, but it weirdly works.

At the same time, I can understand why people wouldn’t like this. This album is a bit overblown in spots, and some of the lyricism is very corny (there’s a kind of cringy reference to Kendrick Lamar’s “Swimming Pools” in “Steve’s Going To London,” but it works okay for what it is), but they downplay the over the top sound that they normally have. This album is more stripped back, despite having some moments that bombastic and over the top, and it feels more like a straightforward pop album. It won’t blow your mind, by any means, but if you never liked these guys, I’d check this out, even if it’s out of pure curiosity. I won’t say it’s amazing, or even great, but it’s still really good.

#ajr brothers #ajr band #ajr #the maybe man #the dj is crying for help #god is really real #touchy feely fool #maybe man #rock #pop #indie pop #indie rock

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beetlegoose01 · 2 years ago

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Home

A Foot Too Big Ending Rewrite

Read on AO3

~•~

Donatello stood tall, resting his palms against the mahogany banister barely keeping the porch, let alone the entire cabin together. He found himself listening to the sounds of the woods. The wind wisps about, the birds chirping their midday song, and the rustling of leaves flowing in the breeze.

He closed his eyes. He had never experienced anything like this. Being in nature was a foreign concept, having lived in the sewers of New York City for most of his life. And the moments he did leave the sewers, he and his brothers were left to deal with robots, ninjas, and mutants.

And now, apparently Bigfoot too.

If someone had approached him saying Bigfoot was real, that all the conspiracy theories from those podcasts he listened to were actually legit, he would have believed it without a second thought. He was a mutant turtle after all. Nothing surprised him anymore.

Yet despite this, he was still utterly surprised at seeing how Bigfoot truly was. It- no, she was an enigma in her own right.

She was no mythological creature made up by bored humans to scare others and spread conspiracy theories. She was real. She was real and alive and...obsessed with him. To a creepy degree. She was affectionate, sensitive, trailing him around like a hungry puppy looking for a snack. It was tiresome. It was embarrassing.

"Now you know how April feels." Raph's voice echoed in his mind.

He knew what that meant. It took a while, but he finally did. He was Bigfoot to April. A disgusting, sad individual who followed her around and embarrassed her. It was why she cringed after he made her the music box gift. It was also why she smiled at him, and hugged him with some devotion, but no true love behind her eyes.

He had fucked up. Badly.

"Hey stranger!" April chirped from behind him.

"Gah!" He yelped in surprise.

She grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, I...thought you heard me walk outside. Guess these slippers are too quiet." She gestured to her rainbow narwhal slippers.

Even with how beautiful she was, he felt sick to his stomach.

"Everything alright? You look as concerned as Mikey did when I told him we ran out of frozen pizza last night."

That made him chuckle a bit. "Yeah I'm fine. It's been...a weird day.

April snorted. "You can say that again.

With mischief dancing in his eyes, he said it again. "It's been a weird day."

"Smartass."

He smirked. "It's what I do best. So...listen, about earlier---" His expression turned to that of pleading and anxious. "I'm sorry about the music box. I thought you would like it, and I dunno, I wanted to show my appreciation for you and it backfired and made me look desperate and-"

April's expression softened. "Donnie, please."

He couldn't help but hide his face in shame. "You must hate me now."

"No, Donnie, I could never...I would never hate you. Ever. You're one of my best friends in the whole world. I- I know I haven't exactly been the greatest friend ever, but I want you to know that I appreciate you guys so much. Even when I've acted off, you've always stuck by my side. I know it hasn't been easy to deal with me.

We've been through so much. So much loss."

Donnie realized that she was not only talking about her father, but Splinter, and the city too.

April exhaled. "Before Leo woke up, I was terrified we would lose him too. And that...we could all lose each other at any point. And that scares me so much." Her voice trembled slightly.

Donnie's heart wanted to hug her. To comfort her, to let her know that he would never leave her. But something in the back of his mind held him back, to listen.

"Donnie, I'm scared I'm going to lose you," She whispered.

"You won't." He assured her without missing a single beat.

"I already have."

Donnie blinked incredulously. "What? No, no, no you haven't. I'm right here, I promise, I will never leave you. You can count on me."

April traced the banister with one fingertip, not looking back at him. "I've been having visions late at night when I can't sleep. They were like nightmares, but instead of forgetting them in the morning, they stuck around. And they're so clear and vivid too, I can't possibly forget them." She turned towards the stars, squinting as though she was recalling everything in her head.

"I feel tension. Hatred. Discomfort. And then...nothing. Like it all disappears. You're all gone."

"Gone?" He echoed.

"Yes, gone. Like I said, it's only visions. But sometimes, I worry that it's already happening. You know---" She pointed towards herself, then back at him. "Your whole vendetta with Casey."

Donnie winced. "Oh...with me and Casey." He swallowed and folded his hands. "It's, well, I thought you knew but ah... The truth is April, I like you a lot. As in, more than friends." His cheeks heated up. "I realized Casey had feelings for you too, and I guess I felt jealous. I went to extreme measures just to get you to notice me."

April's eyes widened, stunned. "Oh Donnie...I'm so sorry I---"

"I know, I understand now after I dealt with Bigfoot. I'm this sad thing that follows you around. I'm just a mutant."

"What? Donnie, I'm a mutant too! Have you already forgotten that?"

"That's different, you're---"

"Human passing, I know, and I will never truly understand the struggles you and your brothers have gone through. Our experiences will always be different, but my point still stands."

She reached out her hand, but the purple turtle pulled his away. "What about Casey?" Donnie asked.

She frowned. "What about him?"

"Ever since he joined our group, he's been...closer with you. I always felt so frustrated and angry, and maybe a little jealous. It's like he was intentionally getting under my skin by flirting with you."

"Right..." April couldn't hide the slight discomfort in her expression.

"And I guess I assumed you liked it. Him. You like him."

She groaned. "I feel like no matter what answer I say will be the wrong one."

Donnie stared at her, startled. "What?

"Like I'm a mouse running through a maze, but all the corners are closed in."

"That's not true--- it's your feelings."

"Is it?" April chuckled half-hardheartedly to herself. "You just said how Casey made you feel uncomfortable every time he was friendly with me. Because we're friends." Donnie was surprised to see her scoff, almost cynical with her response. "It was never about my own feelings, it was all about you and Casey's. Because if I pick one of you, the other will be upset. And if I pick neither? Then I've ruined everything."

"But why do I have to make the big decisions? Why do we have to make everything so complicated? I just want to get along with everyone. I wanted friends, I wanted ...a family I---" Her voice cracked, and Donnie swore he could see her eyes glisten with tears that she roughly rubbed away. "I'm ..."

"April...I'm so sorry."

"Don't. Please. I don't want to hear it. I just want it to stop. I want my dad back. I want our home and...our lives to be normal again. I want to stop the Kraang and remain friends forever."

Donnie nodded firmly. "I want to fix this."

"I should be the one apologizing. I shouldn't have acted the way I did. Especially after everything we've been through. I guess...I was just so focused on impressing you, and making you like me that I lost sight of what's really important." He smiled. "The bond we have as friends."

April lifted her head slowly.

"I know....words can't repair what I've done. I know I've hurt you. But if you'd rather be friends, then that's cool with me."

"Really?"

"I respect your feelings too much to let you get worked up over something like this. I actually like us being friends more, now that I think about it."

"Oh..." She wrapped her arms around him in a warm embrace. "I'm so relieved to hear that, D. I'll tell Casey too!"

The truth was, nothing had changed between them. Their friendship and love for each other was as strong as ever.

Perhaps even stronger.

#this is my way of calling out the 2012 April haters #tmnt #tmnt 2012 #teenage mutant ninja turtles 2012 #donatello #tmnt donatello #donatello hamato #april o neil #not apriltello #tmnt april #tmnt april o neil

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strawberryezpls · 9 months ago

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why will i always feel like this?

I literally hate everything and I understand why i wanted to kill myself so bad whenever i did (back in may lol) ummmmmmmmm this time around of the year is lwokey a little bit triggering because i was just depressed as fuck! and why is my mom making me give my father money for my own good(like a charity) when i don't see or even heard of them doing that to my grandparents like ever? and it doesn't look like it ever did them any good. I graudte from community college this year and i can finally go live in he dorms WHICH IS A ECCESITy cuz if im not living in the dorms im still not living at home. It actally crazy how i have zero support from my family at all. Like they all tell me to study hard and get good grades and blah blah but it's like once I try "oh why aren't you helping around the house" and its not a good feeling. Omg and I think i have autism like for real, or something cuz i have all the traits and i would just be a high level of mask. or am i just overlooked and im not realling masking i'm just brushed off as that's just me. imagine it really is just me. I also don't feel like living for anythign rightnow. I did see nicki minaj yesterday which was ENLIGHTENING she was like 2 hours late but idc and i somehow didn't get caught hehehehhe. um i have to get my wisdom tooth out in like 3 weeks and my finals are almost over. Omg that bullshit about me waiting for the right guy bitch I went right back to the guy i left for the clairty of my mind. and then we've been together ever since. But here's the thing he said hes observing now bc of the way we handle arguments. Like shouldn't you know what you want and how you want it. idk sometimes i feel like im being used and i don't understand how why he even wants me around i feel like i don't do anything for him at least emotionsally or mentally or like what i'm supposed to be. Which like i was fine with being in a sort of situationship with him since january but i think since we wenton our first one on one date a little after valentines that we would be together together but i guess not. And i don't really want to be with a amn now that's like im observing bc of the way we agrue which is like whatever. also wtf is knock knock ginger? sorry i'm listening to a podcast. omgi think being in ramadan which i s gonna sound sad and probably wrong for a moment but bare with me. like everytime Ramadan comes around i just don't feel good bc i feel like i was taught islam wrong like i just don't believe everything or anything someone from my country is saying abt it spefically my dad. like it just gets me so angy bc i could've been those girls who love their religion and I wanna do that but I want there to be people who als understand me and shit. I really love how im college educated but you would think 9 year odl wrote this pls. speaking of idk how imma do it living with a random person like i don't evn like living with someone else, like i love my bed yall. i also need a car with a door handle and the bumper not falling apart. I also wanna be boy free for a while bc it's just something abt it yk. I also don't trust anything anyone is saying and everything everyone says no matter who it is is annoying as fuck and they need to stop talking and im talking abt people who i don't even know too. Like why is everyone annoying all of a sudden b4 i didn't feel like that. wait it priobanyl bc i have to fucking be sober for the next month. saye but at least i get to turn up on my birthday I think. idk i'm scaed to smoke too early ater my surgery. which speaking of i NEED to do something fun and i need tolook good on my birthday like fr. Like i would want to do something even by myself just because i deserve it but my parents be pocket watching me like its not my money. anyways i really wanna get my lashes and nails done really bad. I think I'll just buy a wig and wear it that day and then i could get my own outfit yk. I literally cannot wait broooooo I don't know where imma be eating and whos ocming and whos not yk but yeaaaaaaa. I got too many people who would overlap and i don't want to

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ear-worthy · 11 months ago

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Ed Mylett Podcast: The Best At Helping Listeners Be Their Best

I received a press release from Karen Glover, the excellent Director Of Marketing at Cumulus Media. If you don't know, Cumulus has 403 owned-and-operated radio stations across 85 markets, and many world-class partners across more than 9,400 affiliated stations through Westwood One, the largest audio network in the U.S.

In other words, Cumulus is a massive company with a large podcasting footprint. Typically, for me, a podcast that becomes subsumed under a large network isn't news to report to Ear Worthy readers.

Out of respect for Karen Glover, I decided to listen to several episodes of The Ed Mylett Show. I wasn't expecting much, and I had never heard of Mr. Mylett.

After listening to 10 episodes, I was pleasantly surprised and delighted with his podcast.

At first, I thought Mr. Mylett was another Tim Ferriss. You know. Up at four in the morning, 500 pushups by 6 AM, a massive to-do list, and a can-do anything and everything attitude.

Instead, I found Mr. Mylett to be thoughtful, considerate of his listeners, an excellent interviewer, a superb teacher, and an all-around good human being.

He's Joe Rogan without all the misinformation miasma, crazy conspiracy theories, and audience pandering.

AND -- Mr. Mylett has his own jet! Finally, a nice guy with his own plane. Take that Jeffrey Epstein, Elon Musk, and Donald Trump.

Ed Mylett's background is impressive. As a young man, he attended the University of the Pacific in Stockton, California, where he was a three-time academic All-American before an untimely injury ended his dream of playing in the major leagues. At his father's urging, Ed became a counselor for disadvantaged children in what turned out to be one of the pivotal turning points of his life. It was there he first started to appreciate the importance of serving others and laying the foundation for success principles he would put into practice later in life. Ed Mylett has been named one of the Top 50 wealthiest under 50 and is the youngest person ever named to the President’s National Leadership Advisory Board. Mylett has been involved in several tech, real estate, medical, and food ventures, among many others, leading him to be named a Success Magazine SUCCESS 125 most influential leader in 2022. Mylett has a passion for mentoring and coaching others on what it takes to become a champion. That expertise and passion for coaching and mentoring does come through loud and clear in his podcast. Unlike an Anthony Robbins, Ed Mylett doesn't talk down, or at, his audience, but tries to convey actionable steps for personal success. On his show, Ed Mylett interviews peak performers across all industries – including business, health, collegiate and professional sports, politics, entrepreneurship, science and entertainment – sharing their journeys, knowledge and thought leadership to help inspire listeners to become their best selves.

Ed Mylett is also the author of “The Power of One More.” Since its release in June 2022, this peak performance book has landed on several bestseller lists. In addition, he has built a loyal following as the host of the television show Change with Ed Mylett.

Ed Mylett is well known for combining spirituality, faith, the inner workings of the mind, and tactical thoughts and actions to help people produce real changes in their lives. He attributes his good fortune to his faith in God, his mentors, and the lessons his father taught him throughout life.

I enjoyed the episode on December 21 about "12 Steps To Becoming A Master Listener." On this show, Mr. Mylett goes through actionable and supportive steps to become a better listener, and that instruction was helpful. What impressed me here was that Mr. Mylett spent some time discussing his pitfalls with listening, namely interrupting people to insert his thoughts.

I also enjoyed his story about having a passenger on his plane that he admired who talked for the entire three-hour flight about himself and never asked any questions about Mylett.

On the September episode with comedian Tom Papa, Mr. Mylett and Papa commiserate on the state of our culture today, with people feeling the need to declare their political "team" upfront. As Mr. Mylett and Papa reiterated, we should try to connect with each other instead of splitting us apart as a society.

Mr. Mylett is also adept at celebrity interviews, specifically with singer Jewel and singer / actor Jason Derulo. He doesn't pander or pontificate, but listens well and subtly draws out their stories for the benefit of his listeners. The Ed Mylett Show drops a new episode each Tuesday and Thursday, with The Cumulus Podcast Network distributing, marketing, and monetizing the show. On the off chance that Mr. Mylett reads this review, I recommend and implore him to interview these independent podcasters on his show. As I'm sure Mr. Mylett knows, independent podcasters are the ultimate bootstrapped entrepreneurs driven to succeed.

They are: The Life Shift podcast host Matt Gilhooly, who has candid conversations with people about the pivotal moments that changed their lives forever.

Two adult adoptees, Sarah Reinhardt and Louise Browne, who decided to delve into all things adoption on Adoption: The Making Of Me.

Evan Stern, creator and host of Vanishing Postcards, a documentary travelogue that invites listeners on a road trip exploring the hidden dives and histories found by exiting the interstates.

#podcast #podcasting #successmindset #self improvement

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dailyaudiobiblechronological · 1 year ago

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7/21/2023 DAB Chronological Transcription

Hosea 8 - 14

Today’s the 21st of July, I'm Jill. Welcome everyone to Daily Audio Bible Chronological. If you're new, we're so glad that you're here. Grab a cup of coffee. Get yourself a Coke, Iced tea, lemonade, whatever. They just come on in. It's so good to be here with you as we read through the Bible in chronological order. We do it every day and we get through the Bible in its entirety in a year. Where in the Old Testament Still going to be here for just a little bit more. And we're making our way towards the new, which is sort of metaphoric, sort of symbolic, and sort of real life, at the same time living in the newness of what is and looking to God to see what it is that he would want to Resurrect and redeem in our own lives. So we'll just take a deep breath together here, And hold it just for a second. And let it go. And we'll let go of all distractions around us, let go of all of the demands of life. If we don't, they could literally eat us alive. We'll just take the next couple of minutes to center ourselves around the scripture reading for today and see if God might want to speak some things to his kids. We're continuing the book of Hosea today and we are going to finish that little guy. Some harsh language in this little guy. But we hear the heart of God calling for his people to return to him. And so we will pick up where we left off yesterday Hosea chapters 8 through 14, and today we're reading the New Living translation, Hosea, Chapter 8.

Prayer

This concludes the prophetic book of Hosea. Father, we thank you for your word today. Thank you for being here with us, meeting here with us as we journey through the word of God together. I pray that we would be a people that give you thanks and praise in the plenty And and want. That we know you in every season of our lives. And that we choose to remember Your goodness in all of it. We pray this now and the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Announcements

Daily Audio Bible, That's home base. Check it out if you have not. Take a look around.Check out the store, there's some fun things there. They're intended to enhance your journey through the reading, if you Journal, pencils, T-shirt, coffee, coffee subscription, and have it mailed fresh to your door every month. If you would like to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, thank you so much for your partnership. We could not do this without you, so grateful that we do not have to. If you're giving by mail, DAB PO Box 1996, Spring Hill TN 37174. Or hit the give icon up at the top right hand corner of your mobile device. And lastly you can look for the give icon on the website. If you need prayer or if you would like to pray for someone that's previously called in several different ways for you to do so 800-583-2164 or utilizing that mobile app. Once again that the red circle button up at the top right hand corner of your device, you have two minutes on the prayer line. Hit Submit. At the end and then turn the wheel over to Chronological and it will get to the right place.That's it for me today. I'm Jill. We'll turn the page together tomorrow. It's been a joy and an honor to be here with you, Until then Love One another.

Community Prayer Line

This Is Saved by Us Grace and Happy Valley. China, I just listen to the Your July 15th podcast and I have to admit, I kind of snickered when you Talked about How stupid it seemed that The kings of Israel and Judah had heard the warnings from the prophets, and still they turned from God and worshiped other gods. Because I thought, Good grief, think of this country we've got. Well, especially our political leaders are prime examples of that, and there are so many people that don't Don't go to church, and possibly never have been to church. It's obvious that This nation has turned away from God, as have many nations around the world. Oh, then a lot of the churches, Teach their people to hate sinners rather than listening to Jesus who says love one another, even your enemies.The only way to bring sinners to Jesus So he can work on them. Is to love them. I have to admit, I find it a lot easier to love sinners than to love the haters. I really have to work on that. So pray for me, please. But we need to heed the lesson from today. We have God's word We've got it all spelled out for us, and still so many have turned away. God bless you all. Bye.

Hello my DABC Family. This is his Hands on me tea. Today's date is July 15th and I just want to pray for a couple of people. I want to pray for Lakisha and family. Whose sister lost her baby and her life doing childbirth. Lord, I just pray that you wrap your arms around this family who is broken, who don't understand, who is hurting, who have so many questions right now. Father, I pray that you send your healing. Hallelujah. I pray that you send your deliverance. I pray that you send your comfort, and I pray that you send your peace in Jesus name. And Father, I pray for Cory's from Texas, whose mother-in-law is in the hospital. And she's going through kidney failure, and she has fluid on her lungs, and she's suffering from suspects. Lord, I pray that you touch her body, make her whole Father, God, in the name of Jesus, I pray that you touch this family who has been at the hospital 24/7. I pray for Cory's wife that you give them peace, you give them comfort. I pray that your will be done in this situation. I pray that you will wrap your arms around this family. Let your your peace that surpasses all understanding be in their hearts and in their minds is in Jesus name. I also pray that you give the doctors wisdom and knowledge on how to properly treat Helen, God. In Jesus name. Amen.

Good morning DABC Family. This is his faithful one in Arizona and I am calling on Sunday July 16th and I just wanted to say thank you for those of you that prayed for my husband To to find work. I really appreciate the prayers. He will be starting a part time teaching job in August and He's got a few tutoring jobs that he's going to be doing throughout the week. And so I just think you and I praise God for those that have come in. Uh And I just want to ask for your continued prayers for him. As he continues to push against God and just try and do everything on his own. I see him Being independent and Just Not wanting to submit. He's He's fully vested on He is the one that's going to solve the problems and he's the one that's going to make things work. And just giving up on God, God can't help him, and so I just ask for your continued prayers for him. I just want to tell you guys that I am so appreciative of this community. This is only my second time calling and I just have been feeling the urge to call back and keep you guys posted with things that are going on. So I thank you. I pray for you guys as I hear the prayer requests come in and I praise the Lord with you with your praise reports. So keep them coming. Keep encouraging

Hi DABC family. This is under construction. I'm sorry for another prayer request, but.So Heart broken and beat and exhausted. And it's just I feel like this relationship is just killing me slow. Before I met my other half, I prayed and I prayed and I prayed for God to bring me an Angel.Add instead.I got the devil.Wrapped in a pretty package.I had so many hopes and dreams.I wish just for us.And instead I live in hell.My own little hole.Hidden behind a facade.That everything's OK.I don't.Really know what to pray for?How to know that I don't want to give up?I'm fine giving up on Earth.If you're better if we went our separate ways.I have really got to work a miracle for that to happen.No trauma.No extra.Just.Please keep me in your purse.

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quillquiver · 4 years ago

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On SPN, Burying Your Gays, and Being Heard

I am shaking, I feel sick, I feel like I’m insane. And did I run a little wild with the theories? You bet. But you know what didn’t help? The botched clusterfuck that was this entire goddamn finale debacle. How was I supposed to believe anything they said in panels when M&G dialogue would leak saying the exact opposite? How was I supposed to grieve and move on when there was nothing from the cast and crew? Nobody said anything! And any info leaked just destabilized what we already knew or directly contradicted what we’d been told. In light of that, how was I supposed to trust anything anyone said? One rogue translator reciprocated the love confession and I was practically sold, because there were so many questions surrounding the English text that this was something good, something that logically fit, and something I wanted to hold onto.

Because they hurt me. This is about so much more than one episode or a ship; for years queer fans have seen ourselves in these characters and been told that we were crazy. That we were reading too much into it. I’m not sure how people get upset and offended when a storyline that doesn’t exist... doesn’t exist! said Guy Bee (2013). And then, after all of that, they turned around and said magnanimously, you have your version, I have mine... and that’s okay. But it’s not okay. It’s not okay, because that doesn’t erase what came before - that doesn’t erase the baiting and the gaslighting, and that invalidates everything we felt in the time leading up to that episode. It gave them an open window for all the subtext that came after. It allowed them to brush us off.

And then we got Cas’s love confession. I watched that scene about 500 times. Added to the rest of the season - to the fandom avatar being presented as successful and intelligent, to arc being the death of the author - I felt seen. Really seen, by a show that made it its mission to erase me. I had been okay with Cas dying at first because I had been sure the romance arc would carry through. I had been convinced that after everything, there was no way they would give that to us and then take it away.

But they did, because this is Supernatural. To anyone saying this is not bury your gays, I implore you to read up on the Hays Code. This link is to an amazing queer history podcast and the episode that covers it. In short, the Hays Code was a legal document that came about in 20th Century Hollywood during the puritanical war on the American entertainment industry, and it stipulated what was not allowed on screen. Not all of it was queer - there’s a whole section about kissing - but what the Code is most remembered for is that queerness was not allowed on screen. But queer people are resilient, and so they started testing the waters... and it turned out that you could in fact code queerness into a narrative, as long as it was subtextual, or as long as the queer character died/was punished, or both. The point is that the character is not allowed to live their truth openly. They are buried, either in the ground or punished in the narrative. The former is normally what we refer to these days, because the latter just doesn’t really happen anymore.

Until Supernatural.

Castiel is immediately punished for speaking his truth - and please don’t tell me he leveraged that punishment and so he had agency. Literally the only thing that could make him happy was confessing his feelings, and so the Empty deal was directly related to this idea of queerness-as-punishment. That being said, Bobo wrote a beautiful scene. Cas’s confession was a love letter to queerness and coming out... but everything that came after buried him. Castiel may have ended the series alive but he was effectively written out of the last two episodes, and that means that he actually never really got to live his truth. He was silenced by the narrative - that is punishment.

Dean is a whole other can of worms. Does one rogue translator confirm canon bi!Dean? Or do we have to read our own version of the text? The fact that we even have to ask these questions firmly places us in the realm of queerbaiting. Were the writers trying to get bi!Dean approved but were unable to? I have no idea, but queerbaiting requires proof that the writers encouraged a reading they had no intent of following through on, and we certainly don’t lack in evidence of that. Not from this writers room, but from those of previous eras. Did these writers try? They might have, but the funny thing about queerbaiting discourse is that there has never been a show to bait this long, and I’m making the call that even if you tried at the end, you baited me with half the ship and all the years that came before.

Of course, the narrative leaves open the possibility of bi!Dean so if you do read the show that way, that means Dean also falls into the bury your gays category; if you read the show this way - which many of us do - the mere suggestion that Dean Winchester was bisexual was enough to punish him. And he was punished. We’ve all written extensively on this, but he was given a random death, on a case his father never finished. All that growth, all that time spent having him accept himself, love himself, that was all taken away. He died the way he always thought he would: as a tool, in service of his father, protecting his brother. He had always believed he’d been a body to throw on the sword and in the end that’s all he was. And when he gets to Heaven? He’s also silenced. He barely speaks in the episode except to monologue during his death, and that is 100% Sam-centric. He is scared.

It was horrific to watch. I sobbed so hard my roommate was seriously concerned.

I had been fully prepared for Supernatural to end disappointingly. I had figured everything would end with a huge heaven reunion because white, straight, cis-male S&F writers love the idea of death as a reward, but instead of being disappointed I felt like I had witnessed a slaughter. Every single one of the queer themes intrinsic to the show: found family, resilience, speaking your truth... were gone. And I know we’ve talked about this too, but it bears repeating, because in doing this, in writing the queerness out of its narrative, Supernatural effectively looked every one of us queer folx in the eye and said: you are not important. You don’t matter. All of that stuff that came before is all good and well, but what really matters at the end of all things is blood family. It’s two brothers in a car. Life sucks but at least we get to die and go to paradise - real paradise, that your angel buddy died for and then made for you and who we never hear from again.

I felt insane. I felt cheated. I felt humiliated. I felt devastated. I still feel all those things, but listen to me. You have been heard. Not by Misha Collins, who is a great guy, but doesn’t get it. Not by Jensen Ackles, who is a similarly great guy, but also just doesn’t understand. And not by anyone else who worked on this show.

You know who heard you? Me. The people who follow me. The people who follow you. We saw each other, and heard each other, and we gave each other a leg up. We made memes. We wrote fic. We drew fanart. We made gifs. All for ourselves and all for each other. We broke Tumblr multiple times. We donated over $60,000 USD to multiple different causes. We got multiple hashtags trending at multiple different points, and today kept it up because we demanded answers and then we got them. There were at least 5 articles written about the show today. We made that happen. We made people listen.

Supernatural didn’t deserve me, and it didn’t deserve you. It didn’t deserve Dean. It didn’t deserve Cas. It didn’t deserve Misha and Jensen. But this show ended with a bleak, awful message and we turned around and showed them that love is loud. So what about all of this is real?

We are.

#alex talks #spngate #archived #this was very therapeutic #and i honestly don't know if i will ever be able to love something like this again #because i have been burned oh man #but this fandom is amazing #and i am proud to be a part of it #and i am not going anywhere #journaling #15x18 #15x19 #15x20 #castiel #dean winchester #destiel

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apinchofm · 3 years ago

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@katrie-reads I was listening to an All Souls podcast and one of the hosts posited a theory that Stephen Proctor was actually from the past and time walked to the future as a child to get away from the weaver hunts by other witches in the past. Not your usual thing, I know, but it made me go “oh! I want to write that” and then immediately slap my own hand because I’m already horribly behind on arc 3, which is due to start publishing in March or April. So, if you have any interest, it could be fun!

ooh, firstly, this is such an interesting theory and would explain so much about Stephen's character - his sympathy for other species, his dislike for Knox, reluctance to be around other witches and why he was so secretive!

Anyway, had a go and I hope you like it!

1692

"Grab him!"

Stephen ran through the woods, his familiar flying behind him. He dodged witch fire. His father John had already been tried and executed. In the midst of it, his familiar appeared. Other witches knew what that meant.

A weaver. A threat.

He closed his eyes, and ran through the forests of Salem, wishing for safety. Somewhere where he would be safe.

Goddess, please help me

1945

He opened his eyes, having fallen onto a field. He was no longer in the forest outside of Salem. He was in a garden

A little girl, around the same age looked at him in surprise before smiling.

"Where am I?"

"Boston." She replied, "Are you a witch too?"

Her parents came rushing out. The father looked remarkably like his own. His magic told him these were his relatives.

"He's one of us." David Proctor said. He had always heard the story of his great grandfather's brother who disappeared when the Puritans did their witch hunts. The lost son of John Procter.

"You'll be safe here." He kneeled in front of young Stephen, promising him this.

The benefits of money and magic were that no one asked questions when Stephen became visible. The son of a cousin who had died during the war. And he learned in secret, in the dead of night to control his power.

And how to conceal it.

1972

The downside to being in Massachusetts was the amount of witches. He was invited to the Equinox by Peter Knox's father. It was more of an order.

A beautiful, blonde witch bumped into him, hiding in the same corner he was.

"Hi,"

"Uh, hi."

"You're Dr Proctor, right?" She asked.

"Uh, yep. That's me." He says.

"I'm Rebecca. Rebecca Bishop."

"Bishop. Wow, pleasure." He shook her hand and she smiled. He remembered Bridget Bishop. A kind witch who stood up for herself. She refused to marry, which upset other witches and simply made humans suspicious.

"Well, you're a Proctor. You guys are pretty legendary."

Stephen shrugged, as he always did, "Well, I'm pretty unremarkable."

"That isn't true! I read your study of European society in the 1600s. It was really interesting." Rebecca gushed and then blushed, feeling embarrassed, "Sorry, this is a party and I'm talking about work."

"I'd prefer to work, really. But Knox asked me to come." He was relieved she asked about his work rather than his powers. Knox Sr. had been inquiring about the kind of power he had, which he covered up by messing up one of the written, more simple spells.

They left him alone. For now.

"Peter's dad? Yeah, they are a forceful bunch." Rebecca frowned. "But he is on the Congregation, so it's a do or die kinda thing."

She suddenly grabbed his hands, smiling brightly at him "Wanna get out of here?"

They spent the rest of the evening in a little cafe nearby, talking about history. And Stephen knew he was going to ask her to marry him there and then.

1974

He and Rebecca lay in the field behind the Bishop house, looking at the stars above. The newly married couple decided to spend the night in the quiet after the festivities of their wedding day. She pointed out constellations.

"Can I tell you a secret?" He asked.

"Of course, you can tell me anything."

He sat them both up and took a deep breath, deciding to show her. He demonstrated the first four knots of magic, clumsily but he managed to demonstrate what he wanted. What he was.

"You're a- no way!" She excitedly, "You're a weaver!"

"Yeah," Stephen replied nervously. But she didn't look fearful as other witches had. Instead, she looked intrigued.

"Well, no wonder you're such a loner!" She playfully shoved him, "I thought you hated me at first."

He smiled self-deprecatingly, "I could never hate you."

"I get it. I mean, not completely. My visions can be... overwhelmingly accurate. Peter always says they're a gift but..." Rebecca explained.

"You wonder why on earth it scares others so much?" Stephen finished and she nodded.

"I won't tell anyone. I swear it." She promised. She meant it.

He then told her everything. When he was really born.

Rebbecca blushed and sighed, "I knew that."

He looks at her, dumbfounded. How could she know?

"That night we met when I went home. I had one of my dreams. I saw a boy, running, terrified. It was horrible. I'd never had visions of the past. But his eyes..." She gently stroked his cheek, "I know those beautiful blue eyes anywhere."

Stephen nodded, "I was being hunted. I accidentally timewalked into 1945 and well, stayed. My family in this era protected me."

"So technically..."

"I'm over 200 years old. Yeah."

"Wow.." Rebecca takes in, "And people thought our fifteen year age gap was bad."

Stephen nervously looks down and fiddles with his hands. Rejection and fear from other witches he could handle. But not Rebecca.

"Are you still the same dorky professor who has terrible blazers I will never throw away?" Rebecca asked after a while.

He laughed, "Unfortunately." She leaned against him and kissed him, pressing her forehead against his.

"Then you will never be alone. Never." She promised, "We are in this together. Until death do us part."

1976

Cradling baby Diana in his arms, could feel her power and he knew. She was like him.

Is this how his father felt all those centuries ago? Choosing to be executed to save him?

"We will do everything to keep you safe." He whispered, and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

#adow au #adow fic #stephen proctor #rebecca bishop #a discovery of witches #all souls trilogy #adow ask #requested fic

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