#healing is fucking hard dudes lol

[cloudd-nyne]

.

[apricote]

i'm pretty sure it's not smart of me to absorb the tadpoles like they're breadsticks or some shit but i just wanna see what will happen okay

[fryingpan1234567]

some CHB headcanons

every cabin has LEDs around the inside, but there’s a constant battle over what color they are

Percy has his rippling back and forth from teal to blue and it looks like light dancing through water all over his walls and floor

the Apollo cabin can usually settle for orange and yellow as a common ground

the Aphrodite kids have a different color for each time of day and sleep with pink on the lowest brightness setting

the Hermes cabin has like ten different strips and they’re all constantly shifting

Demeter cabin’s shifts with the seasons

ANYWAYS MOVING AWAY FROM THE LEDS

they have movie nights, which I will talk about in a different post

before everybody goes back to school, the Aphrodite and Hecate cabins have a massive salon at the end of the summer with new haircuts and magic hair dye and outfit recommendations and fake but enchanted sturdy nails and a whole bunch of other stuff and basically it’s a week straight of spilling hot tea between everyone in camp

if someone asks where a camper got their hair done when they get back to school they just go “oh, um… summer camp.” and their friends will snort and be like bro isn’t summer camp the opposite of a makeover?? but they get no argument, just a shrug and a half smile

when I tell you pride month over there is a fucking riot

because Mr. D is in on it, right?? because he’s the god of gender?? and Chiron is aroace and has been raising dumbass gay heroes for literal centuries?? PLUS the sheer fucking amount of queer peeps up in there?? dude yeah

cabins competing for who shows the most pride

Demeter’s roof is covered in rainbow flowers

Hecate’s is enchanted to emit actual light in whatever flag colors of whoever uses the front door, even when they’re straight (it’s just a rainbow)

Percy collects a bunch of shed scales from the hippocampi at the bottom of the lake and then puts them all over his cabin

I could make a whole post about CHB pride but

every single Apollo kid is also a theater kid fight me

Rachel Elizabeth Dare painted a skateboard for Percy’s birthday and he brings it everywhere now, it even sits in his backpack at school

Leo, Annabeth, Percy, and Piper fucking love horror movies. Frank, Hazel, and Jason fucking hate them. They watch through their fingers, if at all

Piper loves the band Surfaces with all her heart, but she also is a die hard Green Day and P!ATD fan

Jake Mason is covered in burn scars up to his neck, just like Deadpool, just not bald lol

Hephaestus and Apollo kids faintly radiate warmth (like more so than a normal person)

the Stolls sometimes stay at camp year-round because their mom is off on international missions that are too high-risk for them to help with

the seven are AVID Smash Bros players

really everyone but

not as many people go to the Athena campers for help with homework as you might think, but whenever anyone does, they’re happy to help

the sun chariot blasts music at a frequency only the Apollo kids can hear, so their life kind of has a shitty soundtrack that consists of a mix of Broadway, Queen, modern stuff, and random bits of Beethoven every now and then

the Romans swear on few occasions

the Greeks know when to swear and when to be polite

the Valhalla peeps swear unbridled and all the time

the Egyptians never swear (in English)

for the longest time, Will Solace thinks the only gift from his dad is his healing prowess— which is obviously great, but he expresses being upset over the fact that he’s not very good at archery

well, considering this is the dumbass who didn’t bring a weapon to actual fucking Tartarus, Nico drags him to the weapon shack thing immediately afterwards and made him pick something out

he's immediately drawn to the Celestial Bronze shotgun.

Nico’s just like “what in the redneck shit did you just pick up” and Will jokingly aims it at his chest and grins and says “you know I’m from Texas, right?”

that’s how they find out Will is one of the damn best marksmen in Greek demigod history

some of the Disney nerds in the Apollo cabin sing What Once Was Mine to the little ones who need bandaids for knee scrapes and give them lollipops afterwards

Percy Jackson absolutely used to make poverty and struggle meal jokes all the time, but he got weird and concerned looks for it at CHB, so he kind of just stopped. But one day, aboard the Argo II, the PERFECT opportunity came up and he just HAD TO and as per usual— everyone else looked at him like he’s crazy— but Leo laughed so hard chocolate milk came out of his nose and that’s the story of how the two of them became Best Friends

[clockwayswrites]

Totally not writing about Tuesday on a Thursday

Masterpost wc: 674 cw: attempted mugging

“Look, dude, I have seven dollars and fourteen cents in my wallet. I know that because I had to buy lunch on campus today and I have no idea how I’m going to make seven dollars and fourteen cents last the rest of the week,” a voice said from the alley that Jason was approaching.

A voice that was becoming very familiar over meals and passing each other on the stairs.

“What’s in the fucking bag?” a different voice croaked. “Hand it over.”

“My notes from class and binders of engineering diagrams. It’s worth even less than seven fourteen. I don’t even have a working pen in there, dude, the last one exploded in my hands this afternoon. Do you see how blue my hands are? That is not natural. I hope you know that that is not natural.”

Was Danny really being mugged and talking back to the mugger? This guy was a disaster. Jason moved quietly as he approached where the alley started.

“You’re a fucking liar, hand it over!”

“Okay,” Danny said with forced calm. “Just taking the bag off…”

There was was a heavy ‘fwack’ followed by an ‘omph’ of pain and the distinctive sound of a body hitting the ground. Jason gave up being stealthy and sprinted around the corner. Hopefully the mugger hadn’t gone for anything vital. His place was stocked with first aid, they were close by, he could—

Danny’s head shot up from where he was standing, bag dangling from his hand, over the prone body of the mugger. He smiled sheepishly. “Jason, hi!”

“Don’t ‘hi’ me, Tuesday! Are you okay?” Jason asked. He nudged the mugger hard with his foot. He only got a groan in response.

“Oh, yeah. I mean I’m still broke and tired, but what else is a college student?” Danny said breezily a he shouldered his bag again. He ran a hand through his long bangs, pushing them back. “But I’m fine— he didn’t even nick me with his knife!”

“You still shouldn’t argue with a mugger like that, it’s a good way to get stabbed,” Jason said, taking Danny’s hands and checking that he hadn’t actually been slashed. Jason wouldn’t put it past Danny to hide injuries, “and you don’t want to be stabbed.”

“Yeah, it really sucks. It took me weeks to heal last time I was, I kept ripping my stitches open,” Danny said breezily.

Jason had to close his eyes and take a breath. How was this guy alive? He grabbed the knife the mugger was using, folding it up and tucking it away, before he rooted through the man’s pocket.

“Um, Jay? What are you doing?”

“Looking for his— there!” Jason pulled out the rubber banded roll of cash and tossed it at Danny who almost most fumbled the catch. It was sorta precious how he looked down at it, eyes all wide in shock.

“Call it emotional distress compensation. No way you’ll find who else he robbed and he sure doesn’t deserve it.”

Danny cocked his head, several emotions running across his face before he shrugged and shoved the cash into his bag. “Guess I get to still eat this week!”

“Tuesday,” Jason said. He reached out and tilted Danny’s head up by the chin so that their eyes met. “If you ever don’t have enough to eat, you come to me, alright?”

“I don’t want to—”

“Tuesday,” Jason said more firmly. “I like cooking. I always make extras for left overs. I won’t have anyone in the building starving— I know what that’s like. If you don’t have enough to eat or the energy to cook or anything else, you come to me. There’s always food at my place. Now be a good boy and say you understand.”

Danny blushed and nodded, his head rocking in Jason’s large hand. “I understand."

“Good boy,” Jason said with a smirk. He let his thumb brush over Danny’s cheek before he dropped his hand. “Now come on, I don’t trust you get back home in one piece.”

-----

AN: Jason continues to despair over Danny's self preservation. Danny continues to blue screen over Jason. It's been so fun to get to explore the Jason/Danny dynamic as opposed to the Red Hood/Danny! It's turning out nothing like I expected LOL For how willing Hood is to be put on his knees by a feral Danny, Jason sure enjoys taking control of this soft nerd. Idk, I'm just going with it!

Due to being shadow banned (still, ugh), I'm no longer tagging people! To be notified please go to this post and subscribe!

[screechingfromthevoid]

@disastertourwaterdeepedition

Sorry for the weird fucking post but like tumblr straight up ate your ask?? I had to search and screenshot from my email??

Its like super fine I love big rants and big feelings (especially about the blorbo of the month).

Whoa buddy if you wanna talk about a rant. This got so long I'm putting it under a read more.

I'm not sure any of this is above board conscious thought process. When he looks to Orym, when he thinks about how he feels about Orym, I think Dorian, king of compartmentalizing, gets a rush of all three of the things in the post. He gets a little too lost in thought looking at the way Orym's hair now tries to curl against his ear or how well tailored the armor is to his body, he first gets hit with the Will guilt. Then he thinks about "ohmygodtheresawaron" and he'd shovel all of that down. Because its not time to think about Orym and him. But he knows by the way Orym watches him "sleep". He knows by the way Orym refused to be princess carried in Aeror. (Seriously dude Dorian princess carries everyone. It would have been less suspicious if you let it happen). He knows because Orym didn't see his husband when they were in Zephrah. But when he dares himself to actually think about a possible future together, he uses the big three to shove it down. And no, he has no clue that Orym thinks he doesn't return his feelings. (Wow you're right. Pronouns are hard)

Lol to finally answer your question: I'm not sure! Because the thing is! Orym has gone down twice in a battle with Dorian there! And honestly if Orym being on death's door doesn't make either of them confess, i'm not sure what will! (thats a lie I do have an idea). But like Orym went to the moon and back and almost died on the moon and all the count communicate to Dorian was "I miss you"!! Orym nearly died twice in one battle and he didn't think to give Dorian a sloppy, "If I die again I want to have kissed you once" kiss before going in for another round of getting hacked on. Dorian watched him go down and had to bring him back from death's door (one failed save scared the shit out of me) and he didn't think to give Orym a "We need you, I need you" kiss.

My unfortunate thought process, which I can't decide if I want it to come true or not, is that Dorian has to get hurt. Like when I say hurt I fucking mean it. Taken down in a round or two, two failed death saves, hurt. Because then Orym will have to face losing Dorian again. Face losing the man he loves, again. He pours a healing potion into Dorian's mouth because warlocks don't have a single healing spell. (Just checked). Orym feels so helpless in saving Dorian, because a healing potion isn't nearly enough to keep him up. He starts to cry over Dorian's (now conscious) body. He whispers between sobs "Not again, not again. Dorian you can't leave me. I love you, please, I never got to tell you, please stay alive." and Dorian, having heard all of that, reaches up to cup Orym's cheek and says. "Alright, just for you though."

Or something like that.

As much as I would love for them to be adults and just talk to each other. I know thats not going to happen. (Please, Robbie, Liam, prove me wrong.) So I think major tragedy will be the reason they confess to each other. Because they're idiots in love with a lot of weight on their shoulders.

[bless-my-demons]

Redamancy: Chapter Twenty-One

Series Summary: What happens when your soulmate is a vampire that struggles to maintain a diet of trying not to kill you? Common sense says run for the hills, nothing is worth your life - but my heart is whispering why not, what’s there to lose?

Warnings: More angst, but of the wolfy-variety!

Notes: I know I said two chapters before Jasper, but I had to fit this one in which is why I’m posting out of my normal window. Trust the process when it comes to why I did what I did this chapter lol and if you don’t spot it, everything will be fine (famous last words). Honestly I think I’m just healing inner me with how I wish conversations should’ve happened in the movie lol

Word Count: 2401

Series Masterlist

• March 8th, 2006 • Home •

Reader

Time starts to pass by a little easier with Quil, the quiet isn’t as deafening even when there’s a comfortable silence. I think the same could be said for Quil, since all of his Rez friends have gone AWOL.

Our days are usually spent under blankets on my couch, watching movies and just being present for each other. Plus, there’s not much to do in this tiny ass town anyways.

“Heard anything?” I ask him tentatively, hopefully.

He shakes his head solemnly in response, eyes never leaving the tv. The fact that he doesn’t even want to talk about Jake or Embry twists a new little knife in my gut.

“I’m okay, Y/n/n.” The grin doesn’t quite reach his eyes and I hate it.

“It’s okay to miss them, I know it’s hard to be stuck with just me now-”

“Don’t.” He reaches over to grab my ankle since I’m facing him on the couch and drags it to his lap, “You’re here and they’re not. I was friends with them longer and they ditched me for other dudes. I’m where I want to be.”

“You don’t have to hold it all in, I’m familiar with that feeling.” I nudge his hand with my socked foot to get him to look at me. “What good am I if I don’t therapize you too?”

“That would insinuate I do anything for you, you won’t talk about him.” His gaze levels on me and I’m caught red handed.

“There’s not much to it, I-I loved him and he’s gone. End of story.” I pick at the loose strings on my blanket, the topic hard for me to meet his eyes.

“There’s everything to it.” He squeezes my foot, “Not end of story, you deserve to vent just as much as I do. You don’t need to feel guilty for grieving him, heartache is a real bitch.”

“Heartache is a bitch, huh?” I huff a laugh as I try to breathe through the tears that want to spring up.

“Y/n, I’m the loneliest guy on the planet. In the male friends department and the girlfriend department, don’t make fun of me.” His lighthearted tone trying and failing to make light of his situation.

“We’re just fucked, aren’t we?” His brown eyes meet mine as we commiserate in our collective sadness.

His head drops back against the back of the couch, “Beyond comprehension, my dear Y/n/n.”

• March 11th, 2006 • Home •

Reader

My finger hovers over a text to Quil, asking him to come over, when I get a call from my other best friend.

“Bells, hey-”

“I need backup.” Her request draws me up short. “I’m going to the Rez-I need to see Jacob.”

“Bella, he’s with Sam now-”

“I don’t care anymore, you in?” She presses.

“I was in the second you called, I’ll be waiting outside.”

“Good, because I’m almost there.” Hanging up the phone, I grab a jacket and my shoes.

So much for the first day of Spring Break, might as well start it off with a bang.

•March 11th, 2006 • Quileute Indian Reservation•

Reader

Bella slid to a stop in Jacob’s driveway and both of us hopped out, memories of bike-building settling like a weight in my stomach. It wasn’t even that long ago and I miss it, I miss Jacob.

Bella knocks on the glass pane of his front door and Billy Black answers, “Bella?”

“I need to see him.”

“He-,” glancing between us briefly, “he’s not in.” The lie blatantly obvious.

“I’m sorry,” Bella pushes past his wheelchair and inside the house, “I really need to see him.”

I remain awkwardly on the front porch, torn between not wanting to intrude or following my friend.

“Bella!” Billy’s warning is ineffective as she storms to Jacob’s room.

Just when the situation couldn’t possibly get worse, I spot four shirtless figures emerging from the forest by the house, Sam’s group.

I hear the back door open and shut and I just know it’s Bella.

I sprint around the house to catch up to her, “Bella!” But my warning falls on deaf ears, she’s on a warpath for the boys. “Shit.” I mutter under my breath.

Stomping up to the tallest - Sam, “What did you do?” She pushes his chest, hard. “What did you do, huh? What did you do to him?!”

“Hey - watch it!” The other two guys plus Embry shout as they step up around their leader.

“Easy.” The word is more of a growl than anything and it causes the hair on the back of my neck to rise.

If this comes to a fight, we’re fucked.

“He didn’t want this!” Her desperation pulls at my heart.

“What did we do? What did he do? What did he tell you?” The questions from the guy to Sam’s right are rapid-fire, his anger clearly volatile.

“He tells me nothing, because he’s scared of you!”

The same guy barks out a laugh, clearly he finds her concern for Jacob silly.

“Bella, let’s go home-” but my plead immediately goes unheard because she throws a fucking right hook for the guys face, son of a bitch.

“Too late now.” Another guy jokes, clearly enjoying the situation.

“Bella, get back!” Sam orders, trying to diffuse the situation as this guy begins to shake.

I grab her arm and we slowly start to retreat for her truck, too scared to turn and take our eyes off of the angry male.

“Bella…” I whisper, unsure of what to do.

“Paul! Calm down now.” The authority in Sam’s voice rings through the backyard, but it’s too late somehow.

The shaking and heavy breathing from Paul leads to a transformation that snatches my breath from my body - a wolf. And not just any wolf, a wolf from the fucking meadow. A wolf that saved us from Laraunt, now standing before us where Paul was.

Where Paul was.

Paul is a wolf. A really big one at that - a really big angry one.

Anger directed at Bella and by association, me. The death grip I have on her fucking arm has to be painful, but the menacing look in his eyes shocks me to my bones.

Bella moves before I do, using my tight grip on her to yank me into action with her as she makes for Jacob’s house.

“Bella! Y/n!” Jake yells, clearing the back porch railing in one leap, sprinting for us.

“Run! Jake, run!” Bella screams back at him, but he charges towards us anyways.

He jumps last minute before he reaches us and I trip trying to follow his path with my eyes before-

Before he turns into a fucking wolf too.

Jacob Black, our best friend, is a wolf? I mean, vampires are definitely a thing, but wolves?

Squaring off with Paul, both the russet-colored wolf and the silver-grey wolf launch for each other. Snapping and snarling as they roll into the woods, my heart painfully thumps in my chest, Jacob.

“Hey, take the girls back to Emily’s place.” Sam orders Embry and the last remaining male, both of them jogging over to us.

“I guess the wolf’s out of the bag.” They joke, ushering us up and towards Bella’s truck.

They’re wolves, Sam’s gaggle of Rez boys are fucking wolves. Jacob is one of them and so is Embry, what about Quil? Is this why they’ve ditched him, ditched us? Wolves can’t be friends with humans? What do I even tell him, or should I tell him anything?

My mind is racing a million miles an hour in the span of seconds with questions I desperately need answers to.

Embry holds open the passenger side door to Bella’s truck with a smile and I walk right past his invitation to climb in the bed with the newly acquainted Jared.

“Y/n, that’s not safe-”

“I’ll be fine.” I don’t even spare a glance at him with my monotone answer, I’m mad at him for how he’s treating Quil.

Jared raises his eyebrows and quirks a grin. “Feisty, I like it.”

Embry huffs as he shuts the door behind Bella and rounds the truck for the driver’s side, “Don’t encourage her, man.”

• March 11th, 2006 • Uley Residence •

Reader

“Hey I think we should go back and see if Jacob’s okay.” Bella rolls down her window as the rest of us hop out of her truck.

“I hope Paul sinks some teeth in him, serves him right.” Jared quips to Embry.

“No way! Jacob’s a natural, you see him phase on the fly? I got five that says Paul doesn’t even touch him.” Embry argues, “C’mon in Bella! We won’t bite.”

“Speak for yourself.” Jared jokes and I shove him as we turn to walk inside.

“Oh hey, about Emily - Sam’s fiancé? Don’t stare, it bugs Sam.” Embry warns both of us before following Jared.

“Why would we stare?” Bella asks and I shrug, just as confused.

“You guys hungry? Like I have to ask.” The female in the kitchen asks the boys, laughing at what must be an inside joke. “Who’s this?” She asks after turning around, glancing between us.

“Bella Swan and Y/n Y/l/n.” Jared answers her.

“Hmm… So, you’re the vampire girl-well, girls.” I instantly admire her easy-going vibe, diving straight in to acknowledge the elephant in the room to get it over with.

“So you’re the wolf girl?” Bella asks in return, accepting her olive branch.

“Guess so,” smiling to herself, she picks up the largest platter I’ve ever seen of muffins, “Well, I’m engaged to one.” Snatching both Embry and Jared’s hands as they reach- “Save some for your brothers! And ladies first, muffin?” It’s comical, the way she mothers them.

“Thank you, Emily.” I smile at her and sit across from Jared, the muffin still warm from the oven.

“Leave it to Jacob to find a way around Sam’s gag order.” Emily scoffs, not surprised.

“Umm, he didn’t… Say anything to us.” Glancing at me, Bella explains.

“That’s a wolf thing, alpha’s orders get obeyed whether we want ‘em to or not. Oh and check it out - we can hear each other’s thoughts.” Embry brags and I gape, this is all fucking wild.

“Would you shut up! These are trade secrets - damnit, these chicks run with vampires!” Jared’s frustration is lighthearted as he admonishes Embry for giving away some of their abilities.

“Can’t really run with vampires,” Emily and I chuckle at the boys not quite catching on, “Because they’re fast.”

“Yeah? Well we’re faster. Freaked out yet?”

“You’re not the first monsters we’ve met.”

“Jake’s right, you’re good with weird.” Sam nods at us, beelining for Emily as soon as he steps in the door. He presses kisses to her lips and then all over her face, causing her to giggle. The obvious display of affection carving out my heart just a little bit more - looking away I set my muffin down, no longer hungry.

Pushing and shoving each other, Paul and Jacob finally show - unhurt and brotherly even. They just beat the shit out of each other and they’re tighter than ever? Boys.

“Sorry.” Paul apologizes and flashes what has to be his signature smile at both of us.

I catch Jacob jerking his head towards the door and Bella follows, probably off to explain this whole entire shit show. I turn my gaze to Embry and level a glare on my former friend, waiting for him to say something.

“You going to let me explain? Or are you going to look at me like you’d like to castrate me until Bella gets back?” Embry stares right back, munching on another muffin.

“Jared?” I look at him sweetly and he grins, “take me home?”

Embry stands so quick and his chair teeters dangerously on two legs for a moment. “Y/n.” His tone is hard, done with this game.

“Embry.” I match him back.

He walks out the front door and it drags me from my own chair, this blowout long overdue.

“You know now and you’re still fucking mad at me?” He turns, leaning against Bella’s truck and folding his arms.

“I don’t even know where to start, Embry!” I yell at him exasperated. “You ditched us, you ditched your longest running best friend-”

“I had no choice!”

“He’s struggling-”

“I’m struggling!” His eyes are wild and his hands have a slight shake, “Cutting everyone out has been the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever done! I can’t tell anyone, can’t see anyone, can’t do what I want to do anymore! I belong to this Reservation, to this pack, to Sam now. He says jump, I ask how high. He says keep your mouth shut, I cut everyone out. It’s how it has to be.”

“Embry, that’s no way to live.” My heart breaks for his situation.

“It’s in my blood and not something I can opt out of, Y/n/n. Besides, they’re my brothers now and they need me as much as I need them.”

I surge forward to hug him, “I’m still mad at you for Quil.”

“I missed you too.” I hear his grin as I hug him tight. “You can’t tell him though.”

Immediately I retreat, “What?”

“It’s a tribe secret, the pack is sacred and must be protected.”

“He wouldn’t done anything to endanger-”

“It doesn’t matter, anyone on the outside has to stay on the outside. It’s not like I don’t want to, he’s my best fucking friend. But he doesn’t have a need-to-know.”

“Embry-”

“I can’t argue with you about this, please drop it.” His wide eyes plead with me and I surrender.

“Okay, okay. Consider it dropped.” I mime like I’m locking my lips closed and I toss the invisible key over my shoulder.

“Good,” throwing an arm over my shoulder, he leads me back inside, “Now you can hang with the big dogs.”

“Okay I’m going to need you to not make stupid jokes about this situation.” But I laugh anyways, I miss this - him.

I smile to myself, happy to finally have people back in my life that I thought were gone for good. I still feel the massive hole in my chest, but the pain is on the back burner for now.

At least until I’m alone again.

Next

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[bookwormbynight]

bookworm-san, dear mutual. do you happen to have any more fem! light headcanons/thoughts? for healing, for the soul……… 😌

Darling. Gimme just a second to reread my posts on the AU and get my brain juices going again 🙏

(Also, fun fact: I do actually have my name in my lil bio bit lol! I don't think most people notice.)

Fem!Light during the Yotsuba Arc may have been more aggressive than canon Light about separating herself from a relationship with Misa, simply because it isn't assumed that "well, I'm the one who must have asked... I just can't figure out why" because that's not how her relationship dynamics work. She doesn't remember saying yes, she can't imagine why she would have said yes, Misa is clearly delusional and can fuck right off. Her aggression might be the only reason why Misa wouldn't white-knight his way into stopping the mutual lawlight murder attempt on their first "date" lmao. I can clearly imagine him trying to heroically interject and protect his girlfriend only for Light to shriek "fuck OFF Misa" so 'unfemininely' that it takes Misa a full fifteen minutes to reboot lmao.

This is me projecting because I'm a 100 pound girl with a-cups but I want Light to have small boobs (also canon Light has a flat ass anyway). Let me sexualize my body type for once, gimme that. Tiny lace bralettes, zero cleavage through a shirt neckline, barely a handful of titty and you can probably fit most of the boob in your mouth, but anybody who's interested in her either doesn't notice or actively likes it.

On a related note, average-ish height, like canon, so like 5'4 or 5'5, but small person. If that makes sense. I want people to be able to just pick her up with minimal effort because that means it would happen more often (I have friends who literally just throw me over their shoulders and walk away without asking me first) and she would fucking hate it and I think that's hilarious.

Flats-only girlie. Coward. Until L bullies her into heels for fetish purposes ONCE and Light has trouble walking and it makes her red-faced angry embarrassed which does NOT deter L in the slightest.

I think she'd wear her hair half-up half-down in a neat little clip in the back with bangs, it's very Professional and Pretty and intentionally chosen. She pigtail braids her hair at night Cinderella-style to keep it nice and L finds it annoying. The only time we would see it down in the canon timeline would be in solitary confinement, and the rain + foot scene and proceeding death scene (because that was immediately after).

For her death scene in particular, I think her hair would start up, as it usually is, but it would definitely have gone really askew and fallen out of the clip by the time she dies.

I really can't decide how exactly her relationship with Ryuk would change based on her perception of gender dynamics but I'm absolutely sure it would, whether or not we genderbend Ryuk as well. Idk, someone else help me flesh this one out bc it's all just a nebulous feeling in my head.

The daddy issues. Dude. The daddy issues would be so bad. Like, we already had "I desperately want my dad to think I live up to his expectations of me + dad is too busy with his job all the time to feel like a legit regular part of the family". Now imagine that combined with the fact that Soichiro just assumes Light has Woman Brain. "It's wonderful that you're top of your class and you're getting a degree, all capable women should go to college, but don't you think you should pick a less demanding career path so you won't have such a hard time having a family one day?? It's really sweet that you want to follow in my career path honey but I don't know if this job is good for girls like you". That scene with Namikawa would happen and L would praise her like canon and Soichiro's jaw would fucking drop. Ugh.

On a similar note I absolutely do not think Light would be able to stomach playing up the "I'm JUST a GIRL I CANT be KIRA 🥺🥺🥺" schtick even to draw some of the suspicion off of herself because canon Light already had such a hard time literally just not showing off and now add in fem! Light's inferiority complex. She would get so salty every single time people suggested it's not possible for her to be Kira ""even though I'm not"". The ONLY times she would be willing to play up the canon ditz act is when it makes her look a little careless, NEVER stupid.

[sunflowerandstrawberryspice]

Ninjago post crystalized HC

-Therapy (I was considering only writing that and posting lol)

-Everyone starts finally settling down and a couple of the ninja are even looking into college courses since a lot of their technical skills revolve around fighting and they're kinda sick of that.

-I like to think Jay and Nya open up a mechanic shop together with some silly name like Electric Wave or something along those lines.

-Pixal starts working with Cyrus Borg again

-I think Zane should be an EMT or something like that, since he can asses wounds and work really quickly and has endless knowledge in his database so I think it fits

-Cole probably takes a bit to figure out what he wants to do but I could honestly see him going into psychology since he's pretty empathetic and a chill dude (bestie literally made friends with a snow monster and some dude who'd been a ghost for centuries I think he's got the skill)

-Kai was kinda hard ngl but I think that since he's seemingly ending up with Skylor maybe he helps out at the noodle house? Honestly I'm not sure Kai is tricky for me.

-Lloyd goes into law to some degree, HERE ME OUT, he totally seems like the type who still wants to defend innocents and those who have been wronged and what better way to do that (that doesn't involve ninja powers) I could totally see him fighting so hard for like kids and stuff since his childhood was pretty jacked up too.

-Wu and Misako probably start adventuring again, though more for fun and not looking for answers to anything, it's just to learn more about the world.

-I think it would be funny if Garmadon got a painfully mundane job in an office, like a data entry person or some shit like that would be so funny (like imagine "Oh you need that done? Yeah go ask Folson" and then you find out "Folson" is fucking GARAMDON who's just like chilling at his desk with coffee like "What do you want?")

-Lloyd reconnects with some of his old friends and while they're still a little bedazzled by him but still

-The ninja probably do a couple interviews after Crystalized kinda finally sharing how they really feel and people are shocked how scared their hero's have been this entire time.

-The ninja totally compare scars, like "Dude I got my face scar from literally being turned into a ghost, it's cooler than yours" or "Are lightning scars cool if I accidentally did it myself?"

-Lloyd starts reconnecting with his father again and slowly but surly the man Garmadon once was begin to shine through bit by bit, not fully but clearly he's there.

-Cole helps with reconstruction once his powers start coming back

-They all meet up when they can to do something fun together

-In addition to the last prompt: Sometimes they need to get some energy out and they're like "I need to fight" and they get together to absolutely pummel each other to get the fight out until the next time (Zane has totally recorded a couple of these fights, a particularly flasy one between Kai and Cole is in fact on the internet and people go nuts over it)

-They all pick up hobbies to relax a little: Kai-wood burning Lloyd-felting Zane-baking (he still does it to wind down) Cole-crocheting Nya-knitting (her and Cole fight over which is better by) Jay-skating Pixal-drawing

-Garmadon get's more plants, him and Vinny's new place has the nicest front and back garden and the oxygen in their house is CRISP

-Cyrus Borg kinda adopts Zane like "I already have one nindroid child, what's one more?" they totally have family dinners and I'd like to imagine Pixal's partner (idk who but it's not Zane cause like sibling dynamic> anything) and Cole just kinda siting there with three super geniuses and the two are just like "I forget what I have for lunch sometimes"

-Everyone starts to heal and the world is better... at least until this new show (whether I think of it as cannon is dependent on how much I like it lol)

That's it for now, I will be back, that's a promise and a threat :)

[yumemiruuuu]

“2ha moments that tainted my mind like how the Flower of Everlasting Hatred tainted his heart”

Part One because there is NO WAY that I will not have any more thoughts after re-reading and reading volume 5 like what the fuck, what the actual fuck.

“Chu Wanning, watch me fuck you to death”

Butterfly Town corpse procession where they both switched places and STILL ended up getting paired up and “married off” together, like just fucking kiss already LAWD.

The way Chu Wanning LITERALLY HAS THEM IN HIS ARMS???? WITH TIANWEN IN HIS OTHER HAND??? BECAUSE HE LITERALLY LOOKS OUT FOR THEM????? AND PROTECTS THEM???????? anyways, I love Chu Wanning. Chu Wanning my beloved. He is literally so gorgeous and I don’t care what everyone says in that universe about him because like if I saw him, I would literally also pull off a Mo Ran and beg for him to be my shizun.

The Xia Sini arc. That’s it. Literally my favorite arc, I WILL NOT fucking shut up about it. That arc healed something in me if you exclude the murder mysteries slasher movie elements to it. Ask me about it and I will answer every single one of your questions including the meaning of life.

MengMeng. Just… MengMeng because he occupies 28% of my thoughts following closely to Jiang Cheng who occupies 37%.

“Ah, JIANGUI!!” and then everyone clapped.

The Lake Jincheng moment when they get drugged and put to sleep and Mo Ran having that incredibly vivid dream about Chu Wanning getting violated by someone else and so he’s enraged and is like “I’M THE ONLY ONE WHO GETS TO VIOLATE CHU WANNING”??? Like, what the hell was that?? Actually, what the hell was that whole Lake Jincheng arc????

On the topic of the Lake Jincheng arc, that whole bit with Xue Meng and him getting crushed over the fact that not only does he NOT get a holy weapon because everything was a lie, but also the fact that his previously orphaned nephew who came from such… horrible background got the only remaining true holy weapon?? I felt his pain so hard, dude. Like, Xue Meng, I feel you. I understand your pain.

This:

Shi Mei feeling up Mo Ran because he wasn’t paying attention to him and was being extra nice to Chu Wanning instead???? Like… what??? Can’t you be normal please???? I’m so sorry, I genuinely dislike the “sweet like honey” type characters because they always turn out to be assholes and I just can’t trust them maybe it’s also trauma and my trust issues but like goddamn Mo Ran literally have bad tastes if he liked Shi Mei I’m so sorry for saying this

Mo Ran having SUCH anxiety with his food to the point that he would literally WOLF IT DOWN in less than a day, and anything else, he hides because he’s so used to having his things taken away from him, and the relief he felt when Chu Wanning told him that there’s no need to rush because there’s always more for him when they’re eating together and just… brb I am genuinely going to cry.

The chapter title change from “This Venerable One…” to “Shizun, Won’t You Pay Attention To Me, Please Pay Attention To Me.”

Chu Wanning not knowing how to react to Mo Ran (seemingly) suddenly manifesting in front of him: “who the fuck is this child and where did he come from” ←this is totally a canon quote

“…he came with a low guttural roar.”

Mo Ran’s pronunciation guide

Anything beyond this point is Volumes 3/4 Spoilers so…

You’ve been warned (lol)

I am never getting over looking up Yuwu and 2ha connections, ONLY TO COME BACK FROM GETTING SPOILED THAT CHU WANNING IS MADE FROM WOOD?????

On a similar note, I was looking up Nangong Si because I wanted to see official art of him and found out that not only A) does he die (I actually went through a whole bit of copium this morning in the shower ober this because I randomly remembered it and was like “no he doesn’t… wait… does he… noo.. no… nooo…) but also B) Ye Wangxi is a female????

Now that I know about Chu Wanning literally being carved from wood, I can’t stop agonizing over Chu Wanning’s thoughts where he would compare his features to someone like… say, Shi Mei. How pained must it feel for him to have these thoughts knowing that he was MADE BY HAND. The facial features on him such as nose, jawline, chin… EVERYTHING was deliberately carved to look that way. That would honestly fuck me up so badly, especially since I also have my grievances about my appearance.

Although,,, to be honest, I actually don’t know if Chu Wanning is even aware of his own origins but IF HE DID, it probably fucks him up a ton. And I agonize over this every. single. day. Oh god, I just also remembered the part where Mo Ran specifically says to him: “Chu Wanning, are you made of wood?” Ohhh OHHHH OUCHIEEEE. VERY. OUCHIEEE.

Another thing that drove me insane is the scene in volume 3 (I’m pretty sure?) with the wontons where Mo Ran is narrating and lamenting over how he couldn’t remember what his shizun’s expression looked like when he shoved off the wontons Chu Wanning made… because he just…. couldn’t care less….. and just…. Knowing that Chu Wanning was the one who has been making Mo Ran’s wontons this entire time knowing that he would like them?? I literally CANNOT even begin to imagine the types of expressions that he could have possibly been making.

Just… like… Imagine being Chu Wanning, and you care SO MUCH about Mo Ran to the point that you are willing to sacrifice your own feelings for the sake of his happiness knowing that he likes your other disciple that is “much better looking”, and despite that, go out of your way to make him spicy wontons, even though you are not that good at making food AND dislike spicy foods. And then you make his favorite food to try to get him to cheer up even a little bit when one of your disciples (and your crush’s crush) dies and you proooobably blame yourself for it and not only does he essentially say “fuck you and your food” but he blames you and basically tells you that you’re a horrible person (which you most likely already blame yourself for and agonize over so now it also feels like someone else is confirming your sense of guilt) . Like, I would NOT be okay after that. I’m usually good at not showing my feelings but this would truly devastate me and fuck me up a lot to the point that I wouldn’t even know what to do.

[coquitokisses]

Trusting Again | chapter 012: catching up

Word count: 4127

A/n: This is the last chapter I have that’s complete so it’ll take me a while to upload the next one since I have to start writing it from scratch basically so just letting y’all know lol

series masterlist • previous chapter • next chapter

* let’s say it’s been like a month, again lol *

It’s like 8 in the morning and Bucky and Cat are currently on their “morning jog”. They’ve been going to walk together for a few weeks now since they’re literally the first ones to wake up since both of them have nightmares sometimes. Bucky has them more often than Cat, which she doesn’t know yet. He was the one who gave her the idea to go on a walk with him. He started doing it a few days before asking her. He thought that it would help him feel better about the nightmares.

When he saw that Cat was waking up at the crack of dawn too, he invited her to go with him and she accepted. It was supposed to be just for that day, but they ended up going everyday and now it’s kinda like a routine.

“Okay, I know sign language, I broke my wrist when I was 10 and I jumped off a third floor.” Cat spoke

“Wait what?!” Bucky looked at her

She chuckled. “Come on! Guess.”

They’re playing two truths and a lie. Usually Cat is the one that comes up with ideas to play different games while they’re on their walk. And Bucky just accepts since he really enjoys the company and he likes the conversations they have. He feels good with her.

“Okay, well I’m guessing the lie is that you know sign language.” He said although it sounded more like a question

“You are wrong, the lie is that I jumped off a third floor.” She replied

“Damn it!” He groaned “No way, so you actually know sign language?”

“Yes! They taught me in Bulgaria, it was essential.” She responded

“And you broke your wrist?!”

“Well I didn’t exactly broke it, it was a fracture, a very bad one, I almost broke it.” She explained “And it still cracks to this day, listen.” She put her wrist closer to his ear and moved her hand so he could hear it

“Oh my god! What the fuck?!” He grabbed her wrist “You’re sure it healed completely?”

She laughed. “Well the doctor said it did.” She shrugged “And it stopped hurting so I guess so.”

“Okay, my turn.” Bucky said

“Go.”

“I’ve never had a girlfriend, I broke my pinky when I was 13 and last one, I know how to draw.”

“Hmm..” she looked at him trying to read his facial expression and try to guess “I think the lie is that you’ve never had a girlfriend.”

“That’s actually true, the lie was that I broke my pinky, I’ve never broken anything other than my arm.”

“You’ve never had a girlfriend?!” She looked at him in complete shock “You’re joking.”

He chuckled. “I’m not.”

“You’re joking! Steve has said that you used to go on dates and all that stuff!”

“Yeah, dates, but I’ve never actually had a girlfriend.”

“Oh my god, I cannot believe this.”

“Why is it so hard to believe?” He frowned a little

“Because I just know that you were quite the flirt back in the day.”

He laughed. “What makes you say that?!”

“Oh don’t act so innocent! Look at you!” She pointed at him “You got a nice face and I’m sure you’re very good with your words.”

“And why would you think that?”

She chuckled. “I know a player when I see one, James.”

“I was not a player!” He defended himself

“Whatever you say.” She rolled her eyes laughing “But come on, you had girls, I know that for a fact.”

He shrugged. “One or two maybe.”

She laughed. “Right.” She nodded “It’s obvious.”

“It’s obvious?” He looked at her

“Yeah, a very cute dude who was also in the army and is very good with his words.. chicks like that.”

“Chicks like that?” He chuckled

“Yes, girls like guys like that.” She nodded

“Do you?”

She looked at him. “Maybe.” She shrugged

He smirked. “Good to know.”

“Oh stop it.” She rolled her eyes and he laughed “Oh my god!” She squealed making Bucky jump from the unexpected sound that just came out of her mouth

“What?” He asked worried

“Look!” She pointed forward “We walked so much that we finally found a beach!”

“Holy fuck, we did walked a lot.”

“Oh my god, I really wanna go, can we go?” She turned to look at him

“To the beach?”

“Yes!”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He replied

“Bucky, please.” She groaned “It’s not even 9, I bet there aren’t many people.”

“You wanna get in?”

“You don’t?”

“We’re not getting in, Lina.”

“Why not?”

“Because we don’t even have clothes and we aren’t even supposed to be at the beach, Steve is probably wondering where the hell are we.”

“Bucky please!” She put her hands together begging him “I haven’t gone to the beach in a year, my body needs it, okay?”

He rolled his eyes. “Don’t be dramatic.”

“Bucky, I’m begging you.” She looked at him with pleading eyes “We’ve been locked up in that apartment for almost two months, please, let’s just go to the beach at least for five minutes, I’m begging you.”

She was right, they really haven’t been out. They do have their walks to exercise and all, but other than that, they don’t go out for anything unless they need to buy food and groceries.

And Bucky knows how much Cat loves the beach, they’ve talked so much that he already knew that about her and he knew that she really wanted to go. And she’s the most that’s really struggling with all of this.

“Alright.” He let out a sigh “Let’s go.”

“Wait, really?!” She looked at him with a smile

“But we’re not staying more than 15 minutes, understand?”

“Yes!” She let out an excited squeal “Okay, come on!”

They started walking towards the beach and Cat was right, there weren’t many people, like two or three, actually.

“Look, there’s some showers for when we get out.” She said pointing where the showers were

“I’m not getting in.” Bucky shook his head

“What do you mean you’re not getting in? You have to.” She said

“No I don’t and I’m not doing it.”

“But why? Come on, it’ll be fun.”

“You go, I’ll stay here.”

“Are you sure?”

“Very.” He nodded

She just sighed. “Okay, fine, suit yourself.”

She took off her shoes and her shirt, since she had a sports bra under, and then went straight to the water. It was a little cold since it was still early and there weren’t any people in.

“Don’t go too far.” Bucky told her

“I know how to swim.”

“Lina.” He just looked at her

She rolled her eyes. “Okay, fine.”

“Clock’s ticking, babe.” He pointed at his wrist

“Oh my god.” She sighed

She quickly went to the shore and the water covered her feet immediately. She felt so good. She really loved the beach, since she was little. Her mom would always take her and her sister to the beach on the weekends and they would stay there all day, she loved it. And it’s kinda like the only thing that reminds her of her family.

“How is it?” Bucky’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts

“It’s cold!” She replied “Alright, I’m just gonna go in cause mami didn’t raised no pussy.”

He laughed. “I’m sure she didn’t.”

She got in a little more till the water was up to her thighs and then she went in the water. When she got out, the water was up to her neck. She wiped the water out of her eyes, blinking a few times to stop the burning feeling from the salty water and then she looked over at Bucky and waved at him, to which he waved back with a small smile.

She swam just a little further and just enjoyed the water for just a few minutes before swimming back to shore since she knew they couldn’t stay there for too long. And she was getting hungry since she hasn’t had any breakfast just yet.

“Feel better?” Bucky asked once she came out of the water

“So much better.” She nodded “That felt amazing and it was very needed but I’m ready to go because I’m getting hungry now.”

“I am too, come on.”

She picked up her shoes and her shirt and headed to the showers so she could wash away the salty water. Once she was done, they left.

“You should’ve gotten in, it was amazing.” She told him

“Maybe we can come again another day.” He said

“Really?” She looked at him

“Yeah, really.” He nodded

“That’ll be great.” She said “I hope my hair dries before we get home.”

Like 40 minutes later, they arrived at the apartment. Cat’s clothes was still a little damp, but she put on her t-shirt before going inside, and her hair was almost completely dry since it was very windy and sunny outside.

They took the stairs and then they walked into the apartment only to see Sam in the kitchen.

“Oh hey, you’re back.” He said looking at them

“Yup.” Cat nodded “Wait, you’re cooking?”

“Yes, the usual chef wasn’t here to make breakfast so I decided to make it myself.”

She laughed. “Yeah, sorry about that.”

Usually Cat is the one who cooks although there are times where the guys make their own meals. But she doesn’t mind cooking for them at all, she actually likes it.

“What are you making?” She asked as both of them made their way into the kitchen

“Scrambled eggs, we were out of pancakes.” Sam replied

“Oh no, you’re right, and I forgot to write it on the list when I finished the mix.” Cat pouted

“It’s fine, Steve went to buy some things we needed anyway.” He told her

“Well it smells good.” Bucky said

“Of course it smells good, I’m making it.” Sam said proudly

“Oh my god.” Cat rolled her eyes laughing “Ugh, I have to shower, but I’m so hungry that I don’t want to.”

“Don’t, food’s almost ready.” Sam told her “Shower after you finish.”

“Yeah, I think I’ll do just that.” She nodded

(…)

After eating, Cat went to her room to get some clothes and then headed to the bathroom to shower. 40 minutes later, she got out, got dressed and as she was walking to the living room, she saw a face that she didn’t think she was gonna see for a while.

“Oh my god!” She gasped “What are you doing here?!”

Natasha laughed. “What do you think? I have to come check on my babies every now and then.”

“Oh my god.” Cat quickly walked over to her and immediately hugged her “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, babe.” She said and then pulled away from her “Ready to go?”

“Go?” Cat frowned confused “Go where?”

“Well we know you’ve been having trouble with getting used to this so we thought it might be nice if you spend some time with Nat.” Steve responded

“And we’re picking up Wanda too.” Natasha added

“Wait, what?! Really?!”

Natasha nodded. “Yup, we’re gonna have a girls day today.”

“Oh my god, I feel like I could cry.” Cat said and they laughed

“Go get ready, we have to get to Edinburgh.” Nat told her

“Okay, okay, I’m going.”

She only changed her shorts, she put on some sweatpants and grabbed her jacket before heading back to the living room again.

“Well I’ll see you guys later, you won’t be missed.” Cat told the guys and they laughed

“Hope you have fun.” Steve told her

“Oh I will.” She said “I’ll see you guys later, behave, eat well and please wash what you use.”

“Will do, mom.” Sam said

“Okay, we can go.” She said to Nat

“Let’s go then.”

“Bye.” Cat waved at the guys and they waved them back

(…)

* let’s just fast forward to girls day lmao *

“So this is where you’ve been living?” Cat said walking around the studio that Nat has been living in for the past few months

She turned to look at her. “If you got something to say, say it.”

Cat laughed. “I got nothing to say, stupid, I actually like it, it’s kinda cozy.”

“It is, I love it.” Wanda added “So how are you?” She turned to look at Natasha

“I’m good, babe.” She replied

“You like living alone?”

“I do, it’s kinda cool.” She shrugged “But I miss you guys.”

Cat smiled. “We miss you too, very much.”

“So? How are things?” She asked

“Things are.. well they’re okay.” Wanda responded “They could be better, but they’re not so bad.”

“Yeah, same.” Cat nodded

��So, how’s it been?” Nat looked at Cat “Living with three guys?”

“Well not gonna lie, it hasn’t been so bad.” She replied

“Have you had any fights with them?” Wanda looked at her

“Just some bickering here and there with Bucky, but other than that it’s been great, they’re great.”

“They’re your boys now.” Nat said to her

Cat laughed a little. “They are and I love them.”

“So how have y’all been feeling with this whole situation? You’re not used to this.”

“Well it kinda sucks.” Wanda answered “But there’s not much we can do about it so.”

“Same.” Cat said shrugging “I’ve been having some really bad anxiety, but I’m trying to just enjoy what I can do and lately it hasn’t been so bad.”

“If your anxiety gets too bad, you know I’m just one call away, right?” Natasha said looking at Cat

“Yeah, I know.” She gave her a little smile “So Wanda, how are things with Vision?”

“They’re good.” She replied with a small smile

“They’re good good or just good?” Natasha asked

“Well that depends on your definition of good good.”

“Well for starters, now that he can turn human, have you..”

Cat cut her off. “Oh my god.” She rolled her eyes “Don’t listen to her.” She said to Wanda

“What? Is a genuine question.” Nat spoke

“Shut up.” Cat nudged her “You’re sick.” She said and Wanda just laughed

“Whatever dude.” Natasha rolled her eyes

“Nothing has happened, just to clarify.” Wanda spoke

“What about you?” Natasha looked at Cat

“What?”

“No hook ups or anything?”

“Ew, no.” She rolled her eyes

Natasha sighed. “Boring.”

“You’re sick.”

“Seriously nothing has happened? You and Sam?”

“Nat! Oh my god, absolutely not, I would literally not be able to stand him as anything else than my best friend.”

“What about the two super soldiers?”

“Nat, please.” She rolled her eyes making Natasha chuckle “Steve is literally like my dad.”

“Then there’s only one left.” She shrugged

Cat shook her head. “No, absolutely not, no.”

Natasha scoffed. “What a waste.”

“You said Bucky’s cute.” Wanda looked at Cat

“Well yeah, but that doesn’t mean I wanna fuck him.” She rolled her eyes “Nothing has happened.”

Yeah, nothing else was happening. She’s been spending a lot of time with him, but nothing else was happening between them. He flirts with her sometimes.. and she kinda likes it.. but nothing else was happening. Was it?

“Okay, actually, there may be something else.” Cat spoke getting their attention

“What do you mean?” Wanda asked

She sighed. “I think I like him..”

Wanda and Natasha looked at her completely shocked.

“Oh my god, are you serious?” Wanda said

“I’m afraid I am, yeah.”

“I told you.” Natasha said with a small smirk

“Shut up.” Cat rolled her eyes

“So I’m guessing that Ryder wasn’t that serious after all.” Wanda looked at her

Cat let out a sigh. “Well it was supposed to and it was starting to get kinda serious, but that obviously went to hell when I left New York and never went back.”

“So what’s been going on with Barnes? What happened that made you to like him?” Nat asked

“Nothing, he’s just..” she shrugged “He’s nice and cute and we get along pretty well.”

“Oh my gosh, I feel like I could cry.” Wanda said covering her mouth “I knew it, he’s definitely your type.”

“I don’t have a type.” Cat immediately shook her head

“You kinda do, you usually go for unstable ones, like.. what was his name?” Wanda looked at Nat “The tall one, light skinned with the dimples.”

“Oh Wesley.” Nat replied

“Yes! Wesley.” Wanda nodded

“That’s my ex.” Cat rolled her eyes “It doesn’t count.”

Wes and Cat started dating when she was 17 and they were together for two whole years, but they ended the relationship because Wesley had to go to California for college.

“Didn’t his mom died in a car crash or something like that?” Wanda questioned

“Yes.” Cat answered

“And Ryder was adopted because his biological parents were physically abusing him.” Natasha added “Talk about trauma.”

“Okay, you guys are talking crazy.” Cat rolled her eyes “I have enough traumas of my own to be attracted to a guy who probably has more than me.”

Wanda and Nat just stared at each other grinning.

“You guys are the worst.” She sighed and they just laughed

“Has he said anything? How does he feel?” Wanda questioned

“Well no, but I think he does like me too.. I mean, I don’t wanna make a fool of myself, but it’s just a little obvious.” She replied “And a girl knows when a guy likes her, he’s been a little flirty too.”

“Does Steve knows?” Natasha asked this time “Or does he has an idea or something?”

“No, I don’t think so.” She shook her head “You’re the firsts to know.”

“I feel so honored.” Wanda smiled

Cat giggled. “Of course, like I don’t tell you everything that happens to me.”

“I hate that we don’t get to see each other more often, I miss girl talk.”

“I do too.” Cat pouted

“Glad you say it because I managed to get us some phones.” Nat said “Well, better ones than the ones we have.”

“Really?” Wanda looked at her and she nodded

“Yup, we can chat now.” She said singsongy “And don’t worry, they’re safe to use, I made sure of that.”

“You’re an angel, you know that?” Cat told her

“So I’ve been told.” Nat smiled

“We need to have at least a weekly group call just to catch up.” Wanda said

“That sounds good.” Cat spoke

“I’d like that.” Natasha nodded “So? Hair time?” She looked at Cat

She sighed. “Should I?” She looked at them

“Yes, of course!” Wanda responded “A new hair color won’t hurt.”

“I have everything to do it, I just need your consent to make you look hotter.” Nat told her

Cat giggled. “Alright, let’s do it.”

“Sit here, my love.” Natasha patted the chair where she just stood up from “I’m gonna go and prep everything.”

“So,” Wanda spoke getting Cat’s attention “You really like him?” She said with such a gentle tone and a small smile, like she was genuinely excited and happy about it

Cat nodded. “I do.. it’s crazy.”

“It’s not crazy.”

“It is.. I don’t think I should be focusing on that right now considering the situation we’re in.” She ran a hand over her face

“I think that’s the reason you started to focus on that.” Wanda replied “It’s nice that he’s something that’s helping you get distracted from all of this.”

“Well when you say it like that.. it does sound nice.” Cat looked at her with a little smile

Wanda giggled. “I know, your face says it all.”

(…)

* hours later of course, i wanna finish the chapter lol *

“So? What do you think?” Natasha handed a small mirror to Cat

She already dyed her hair and even tho it was still damp, she couldn’t wait for Cat to see it.

Cat grabbed the mirror and looked at herself.

“You’re joking.” Her jaw almost dropped to the floor

“Do you like it?” Natasha asked

“It looks amazing but holy shit, I’ve never seen myself with red hair.” She replied, still shocked, still looking at herself in the mirror

“You look so good!” Wanda told her

“Welcome to the redheads club!” Nat said “Even tho I’m not a redhead right now.”

Cat laughed. “I’m thrilled to be part of the club.”

They hung out for a while, the whole day basically, until it was getting super late so Nat decided to get on the jet and take Wanda and Cat back to their places.

They dropped Wanda first and then headed to Morocco to drop Cat off.

“Let me know what Barnes think about your hair.” Natasha looked at Cat

She chuckled. “Shut up.” She rolled her eyes and Nat laughed

“Well, I guess I’ll see you in a few months? Maybe?” Nat shrugged

“I certainly hope so.” Cat nodded “I love you so much.” She hugged her tight

“I love you more.” Nat smiled and pulled away from her “Don’t be a stranger, okay?”

“Same goes to you.”

She chuckled. “I’ll try now that we agreed to have weekly updates.”

“Good.” Cat smiled “Bye.”

Nat waved at her with a small smile and then Cat made her way to the apartment, she went upstairs and when she got to the door, Steve was there waiting for her since they called him a few minutes before getting there.

“Hi, dad, sorry for coming back so late.” Cat said walking in

He chuckled. “It’s fine, bubs.” He closed the door

“Do I look good as a redhead?” She asked turning around to see him

“You look great.” He nodded “Do you like it?”

“I do but I’m not used to seeing myself with red hair.”

“But you look good, it suits you.”

“Thank you.”

“You had fun?” He asked

She nodded. “I did.”

“I’m glad, you needed that.”

“I really did, it was like therapy.” She replied “I’m kinda hungry tho.”

“Well lucky for you, I bought some things today.”

“Yeah, I know, I’m heading straight to the kitchen.” She said and Steve chuckled

“Well I’m going to bed, call me if anything happens.”

“Steve, we’re fine and we’ve been fine for the last two months.” She looked at him

“Hey, you never know.” He shrugged

She chuckled. “I will call you if anything happens.” She said “You can go to sleep.”

“Don’t stay up too late, you need to get some good sleep.” He told her “You haven’t been sleeping well.”

She rolled her eyes laughing. “Okay, dad, I won’t.” She lifted her hand like she was doing an oath

“Good.” He said “And wash what you use.”

“I will.” She nodded “Good night.”

“Night.” He said as he walked back to his room

Cat just let out a low giggle. She likes that Steve sometimes acts like a father to her because she never really got to experience that. And she knows that it’s just how Steve was raised, being a gentleman and being that protective with her and all. But she doesn’t mind at all, she thinks it’s sweet.

Cat went to the kitchen and she looked for something to eat. She ended up getting some cereal. She poured some in a bowl with some milk and then went to the balcony to eat, enjoying the cold night breeze. A few minutes later, she heard some footsteps from inside so she turned her head only to see Bucky.

“Hey, you’re awake.” She said

“And you’re back.” He walked over to the balcony “And holy shit you’re a redhead!”

She chuckled. “I am a redhead now.”

“You look good!” He told her

“Really?”

“Yes! Are you kidding?” He replied “Have you seen yourself?”

“I did, but I’m not used to seeing myself like this.”

“You really look amazing, seriously.” He said “It suits you.”

She couldn’t help but get a little flustered.

Thank god there’s not enough light.

She gave him a small smile. “That’s very nice of you to say.”

“I told you I’m a nice guy.”

She giggled. “Thanks, by the way.”

“You’re very welcome.” He smirked

“So uh, what are you doing up?” She asked, changing the subject because she got nervous

He shrugged. “I just couldn’t sleep.” He responded sitting on the other chair that was there

“Huh, really? You still having trouble to sleep?”

“A little.” He nodded

“We need to do something about that.”

He let out a low scoff. “I don’t think anything will really help, but the intention is appreciated.”

“You’re so pessimistic.” She groaned “We need to do something about that as well.”

He chuckled. “Okay, alright, I’m open to change that.”

“That’s good! You know what this is? Progress.” She said and he just laughed

previous chapter • next chapter

Likes and reblogs will be appreciated!

[bnhxx]

I have GYAT to start writing about my best boy Carlos,,,,,members of the jury, it's time

SO MY MAN MY RESPECTFUL POOKIE 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

Personal

[Edit]: okay I took the liberty to actually organise this bc it was just verbal diarrhoea ksjsksj

Also this list is NOT exhaustive bc im always thinking up more shit about this man sksgdhdbd

- Man's got game but honestly I think if you did some cute n wholesome shit he would kagsishshw. Like he would have such a GOOFY smile on his face and eat that shit up. Gifts, handmade things, compliments, letters or little sticky notes you leave for him, it really bolsters his confidence. Not that he needs it, but it feels special and makes him warm and fuzzy inside.

-Whether you're always like that or it's a sometimes thing he's gonna tease you though.

"Aww, ya big softie,"

-like he's spent majority of his life in militias and such, he's not used to softness. Apart from the softness and protectiveness he showed his little brothers, and the softness that was shown to him by his mother-which was fleeting at best considering most memories of his childhood would be filled with the thievery he'd resort to to keep his family alive. Hes never really been encouraged to show it, either way-its seen as a weakness.

-and it's not to say Carlos is suffering from good old toxic masculinity, he holds sm respect for Jill and yes she leans into the more hardass fem cop role to protect herself and yes he also STILL flirts w her but tbh the fact that he's respectful and let's her brush him off without getting mad, that's still a big step imo

-bc he's literally been around those types of people for most to all his life. Raised by a militia, basically, and toxic masculinity is so rampant there simply because it's a good coping mechanism for having to fight and kill ppl all the time? Just, switch off those emotions. Don't feel bc you might go absolutely insane with the guilt if you do.

-so yeah, Carlos, though he certainly doesn't seem to be in the chokehold of toxic masculinity, he's still very much affected by it.

-But I think he'd lean on those around him in his journey to healing that sort of fight flight mode, all day, every day, macho man w a cigar hanging out of his mouth type persona.

- He's very much a, if I didn't have the people around me to support me, I wouldn't have gotten this far type of person. And he'll do the inner work if it means becoming a better version of himself.

-like my man's saw Umbrella and was like yeah nah fuck that

-and that takes GUTS. Tyrell really was right when he called Carlos a balsy such and such he has courage for days. So in conclusion he definitely would have the courage to go and heal for himself and others. 100%.

-Definitely takes me as the gym bro to make friends with everyone at the gym. He's there to shred and sometimes he's a little show off but hey, he worked for his gains why not show em off y'know?

- He'll also be the first to rope some asshole in if they're making someone uncomfortable. He likes going to the gym and he'd hate for it to become a place with a bad vibe, not on his watch!! So if he's in the gym is just chill vibes

-theres these dudes on tiktok that are gymbros but they're constantly playfully flirting or making dirty jokes w each other that's Carlos lol.

-I think Carlos would also like hiking. He wouldn't mind camping, so long as he's got a good group to go with-(that usually makes or breaks the camping trip imo) but he prefers to take a hike. The views are worth the pain, he says, trust me!

(You'll believe him when you get back to the picnic sites and he brings out the lunch he had prepped bc you wouldn't go without it jabsjshsjs)

"You're food is what's worth the pain, not the view, Carlos," (he would call you a gremlin for this but it's worth it to see his silly smile)

-Also, cooking!!! Carlos LOVES cooking it's canon. He prefers cooking for people because being able to see his friends or s.o's face when they try his food makes all the hard work worth it. He also gets to spend time with everyone which is a bonus! So if you're friends or dating, expect big dinner parties. As rowdy as they can be they're actually quite chill once everyone's had some of Carlos' special in their belly (we all rubbing our tummies like 🤰🤰🤰 after that food baby kahsisbsj)

Ideal type.

-ON that, he's very family oriented. Because of his upbringing and how he was raised to his personality, but yeah-man's had to fight for his family from day 1 p much. So big protective older brother vibes here. He'd definitely make a good dad!

-I can only see him as a military man bc of his upbringing 😭 but this man is DEF having a reflective moment at the end of RE:3 like while Jill's freaking out bc bye bye Racoon City and trauma he's like,,,okay idk if this life is the one I wanna LIVE so I think he dabbles his toes in a bunch of odd jobs here and there while he's in hiding, post RE:3.

-Like he learnt a LOT of employable skills from the military and he'd definitely go up the ranks but he??? Doesn't know what he really LOVES to do so??? He tries a lot of things tbh.

-In saying that his social circle is WILD. Like I'm talking he picks up a random person off the street, brings them to a party with some of his work colleagues and old workmates from his other job and everyone's Like WHAT do we all have in common 💀

-you know big silly man and you're all gonna love his cooking that's what!!

-he is a silly goofy guy he loves to joke around, but not at the expense of others!! So, he's actually got a lot of friends. They type of person that had loads of friends but only a couple of really close ones ngl.

- Also likes to make mundane things fun by inviting his friends. He's the type to call his friend up like, let's go grocery shopping together bc I hate doing this alone 💔

-and it's a two in one bc his friend is there!!

- I think his ideal type is someone whose not afraid to stand up for what's right. Assertive and forthright are bonuses, but at the end of the day he seeks someone whose moral compass aligned them with the good of people, or someone who cares about community, and others. Someone who, if they see something wrong, won't just look the other way.

-assertiveness and forthright is hot asf in a woman and he loves to see it!! (You and me both brother whew 🥴)

-I think also he comes from a background that's very community centered? So the whole individualistic culture of America and Western cultures would be a bit,,,strange. He'd at least want someone who is willing to have a community mindset bc he just wouldn't vibe too well w someone like that in the long run 🤧 Like it's not like he hates it but how??? Are you alive??? You live like this bro??? Y'all Western countries good????

- deal breakers for him are family, blatant assholes lmao, cheating, and gamblers.

-Hes pretty goofy too underneath it all so he'd want someone who he can be silly with. Someone who won't judge on that, who even plays along with him. He'd adore someone who he can just be silly with. My silly big guy.

-like PLEASE at least crack a smile at his jokes he would low-key take it personally if you didn't laugh or crack a smile when he's joking around or being silly (he would take it VERY personally but he'd stay chill on the outside lmao)

- he plays around a bit after RE:3 bc man's 21, like, what did you expect. But he's also upfront about what he expects from the relationship and expects them to be, too!

- I think he'd be the type to get jealous, if his s/o had a different life than his. Like, white picket fence, smart (this I'd big bc nowhere in Carlos' backstory does it say he had a formal education past military training 🥲), homebody type. Like, he feels almost out of place in their life. Like a stray they picked up off the road, and he needs reassurance that your not just there for his looks and his yummy beefy arms (but yes, he admits they're a plus)

-So someone who's in tune with their and others emotions would be great for him! An attentive s/o who isn't afraid to call out his jealousy (gently) and lovingly remind him that he's the only one they want. ESPECIALLY if it's looking like a long term relo!

-also he'd want someone who shares some hobbies bc he loves doing things w ppl he loves! So if you're not a nature person then honey, you got a big storm coming.

-also I think he'd give it a pass if you has opposite hobbies but you love learning about his ‼️‼️ like when he comes home from his camping trip his s/o is like, so, how was it? Or they're sharing him little camping tips and tricks online or cooking recipes, just show they're interested and talk about his hobbies even if they aren't into them. He'd love this just as much ‼️

-I actually think he'd do really well adopting kids too, because, if he can give a kid a better life?? Tbh just pitch it like that his whole 'for the blood of my family name' would go down p quick bc if he could save a kid from living a childhood he had to he would no light reaction ‼️

- family, because he wants to have a family of his own. He wants to have his own blood if he can which is strange my guy but I respect that. Sort of in a more traditional sense of like I survived and now my family will live a better life type mentality, keep the family tree going y'know?

- If his partner could not/does not want to have kids though I think he would try other forms like surrogacy or ivf or even adoption, because if he found someone he really loved at the end of the day a family isn't simply determined by blood. It might take him a while to get on board with tho but stand on business he'll wrap his head around it eventually.

-again, sort of going off the point earlier but just shitty or selfish people is a no go. Like not caring for others to the point of blatantly putting others at risk to get what you want, not feeling bad about it at all? that's a no no. Obvious reasons here, he fought against impossible odds to put the middle finger up to Umbrella for what they did soo what did you expect?

-cheating, because honesty is key. Cheating is pretty unanimous but like, Carlos is the type to not forgive that. Ever. How could you cheat on the baby boy like he's been through ENOUGH YOUR HONOUR 😭😭😭

-kind of unrelated but I have his dbd voice line of "You're gonna be okay, I promise," in my mind at all times of every day kahsjek

-gambling, because it's such a throw away of large amounts of money. It just doesn't seem right to Carlos. Addiction is hard to break, he gets it, but particularly in large amounts-gambling is just lowkey disturbing to him. He grew up poor so could not be him betting the chance to eat on huge amounts of money. Like he's desperate but he thinks gambling is a scam. Bc it is kshsidjd.

-ALSO there was this tiktok comment on how he paces infront of his s/o's house with flowers to hype himself up and ‼️ yes ‼️ he would so do this it makes me wanna cry thinking about it.

Misc.

-LIKE I could be in the clutches of the ENITITYS realm and still feel good bc Carlos is there, he may move like a turtle in dbd but my man's moving mountains keeping the team together give him a pass ‼️

-everyone saying bring Carlos back to re, capcom you left us in a cold, cruel, Carlos-less world, but, BUT....let's just imagine for a moment my man finally found peace after re3 and is just on a beach sipping mimosas. He deserves this he's spent his whole 21 years of his life fighting, give him peace I beg!

-let's live in the delulu that my man's finally got a break from all that shit 🤱

- I want him to just RelAx, take a load off, sit back and enjoy the sunshine after everything bc 😭😭😭

[bitwynn]

Ive just been watching Avatar The Last Airbender clips lately and like-- lol what if in SAGAU you teach them to control their Vision powers similarly to how characters in the show bend their respective elements??

So like-- i imagine that Anemo, Pyro, and Electro Vision holders would have similar moves and spend a lot of time with each other since i do remember Uncle Iroh calling the Air and Fire elements very similar to each other. It reflects in their bending as well, it just differs in their approach to it. While both have similar bending styles, the Air benders are much more passive and defensive in their bending while Fire benders are much more aggressive and offensive-- you can really see it whenever Aang and Zuko fight. I put Electro in there as well since electricity in the Avatar world is a highly specialized and advanced fire bending skill. I imagine a lot of Vision holders in Inazuma would DEFINITELY try to figure out the lightning redirection skill out of fear of the Raiden Shogun LOLLLL

The water element is STILL OP AS FUCK with Hydro, Cryo and Dendro learning a whole lot from each other. Cryo is there because of obvious reasons aka ICE IS JUST HARD WATER GUYS WHY THE FUCK DID YOU MAKE IT A SEPARATE ELEMENT-- and Dendro is there because plant bending in ATLA (yes plant bending is a thing) is just finding the water in the plants to bend them. The theory is similar to metal bending and blood bending-- you find the bendable parts amidst the unbendable parts and you move those.

Geo is just Geo because... its GEO. ITS JUST ROCKS. DO I NEED TO SAY MORE.

I imagine that the Anemo guys, Venti especially, would very much enjoy their new found speed and agility with Venti just yoinking the concept of an Airbender Staff for himself or even inventing new ways to Windglide using the gliders already there and just innovating the already existing skill. Heizou would also really appreciate it, considering how he doesnt really like fighting and prefers incapacitating criminals as swiftly as possible in or out of a fight. The fuckery you could do as an Airbender man--

Like i said earlier, the Pyro and Electro Vision holders would really take a special interest in each other. I can imagine Thoma trying to find someone with an Electro Vision so he can try to learn how to deflect lightning. (Haha ARCHON QUEST GUILT--) and ohhhhh my gOD i can already see cOUNTLESS cocky Pyro and Electro Vision holders in Inazuma AND EVEN OUT OF INAZUMA just going "STRIKE ME DOWN RAIDEN, YOU DONT THE BALLS--" just because they learned how to redirect lightning AHAHAHA

Cryo and Hydro would hangout a lot and like-- honestly, Cryo might hangout a lot with Geo as well considering how cryo is just Ice but Solid. Its kinda similar to bending earth in that way. I still do think that Cryo and Hydro users would learn a lot from each other but Hydro learns more from Cryo and Cryo learns more from Geo. In the bending sense at least. So i imagine that the closest Cryo can get to Hydro is turning the ice into snow or slush and the closest that Hydro can get to Cryo is slush as well but much MUCH more watery. Like a half melted Big Gulp from 7 11. Honestly, i can kind of see Eula using this as an opportunity to both better her reputation AND to better care for the knights under her since waterbenders are the healers of the bending world. So, i can see her visiting Barbara a lot and getting healing lessons from her or her like-- groveling at Dionas feet trying to learn how to heal her troops AHAHAHA

DUUUUUUUDE the Geo dudes are gonna have sO MUCH FUN SINCE LIKE-- even tho earth bending is SUUUUPER underrated, in the right hands its SO fucking op. I can already see Ningguang trying to master metal bending so she can literally just-- detect what metals are around her and the quality of them. Like "oh this ugly unrefined lump of metal is much MUCH more valuable than the necklace youre trying to sell me there. Tell me, youre not foolish enough to try and swindle the Tianyuan Qixing? Oh? How was I able to tell? With the knowledge and gifts brought by our Grace of course!" And Zhongli trying to master every aspect of earth bending, from seismic sense to metal bending to lava bending and so on, because even though he stepped down as Archon, he is STILL the Prime of the Adepti and Lord of Geo. And if this brings him a closer connection to the Overseer? Lol thats just an added benefit AHAHAHAH

The Dendro users thoooo, they would DEFFO take advantage of their inherent and direct connection to water to better connect with the plantlife around them. ACTUALLY i can see Collei kind of learning how to heal herself of Eleazar BECAUSE of her connection to Dendro and Dendro's connection to water-- the "healing" element. And i can also see Tighnari like-- using it as a different sort of "seismic sense" in a way. Thanks to the lessons learned from the Hydro users that can now fucking bend plants, he can turn that lesson-- the "finding the bendable parts amdist the unbendable parts" and turn it into his own! So he could, using his Dendro Vision, detect and identify any and all plantlife nearby by the way the Dendro element surrounds the Hydro element that flows within the plants themselves! If hes familiar enough with the plants, and honestly he probably is, he could determine its age, species, health, and any other aspects of it he'd want to learn

And ohhhhh my gOD-- dont even get me STARTED on them mixing in their own martial arts into their bending styles. Because like-- each bending style is based off and inspired tby many real life martial arts. Tai Chi for waterbending, Hung Gar for earth, Northern Shaolin for Fire, Ba Gua Zhang for air and so on. So, imagine them just mixing in the fighting styles of each nation or even their own personal fighting style into their bending style! So like-- i can see Thoma mixing into his Firebending some Inazuman Judo or Karate (both are Japanese martial arts and Inazuma is based off Japan) and some Mondstadtian Ringen (Mond is based off Germany and Ringen is German style martial arts/grappling) to really like-- personalize and make Firebending his very own. And, taking that further, even taking the lessons from the show-- the lesson that every element is connected and that you can learn from each and every element. You can actually see that in, as how ATLA goes on, you can see the Gaang and the other benders using bending moves from other elements-- not just Aang learning the other elements to become a Master Avatar but literally everyone-- Zuko using a move he learned from Iroh who learned from waterbenders, Katara using earthbending moves to bend ice, and so on. I could think of more but im currently sick off my ass and my brain is mush. So characters who already have a fluid connection with their Vision/Element or just have that fluidity thanks to their job or their natural personality, have a much more unique way of controlling the elements! The only ones i can think of rn is Yunjin and Childe-- Yunjin because of the slight and fluid movements she makes as an opera singer and actor, i mean-- have you even watched her attack animations? Theyre SOOOO smooth and pretty!! And Childe because of his Delusion, meaning hed already be trying to learn the other bending arts and, thanks to his fight brain, would definitely look for a way to incorporate each elements bending styles and moves into his own

FUUUUUCK dawg, i could go on and on and ON but im currently sick off my ass and i need the rest gjsjfnsjfi-- Feel free to yoink my idea and build off it!! Id love to see what yall think :))

[us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2]

guys I just was on TikTok for like, a couple hours for the last 3 days and oh my god tumblr is so much better.

mostly because I will say this again and always.

TikTok is tumblr 2.0

The most horrible takes, I actually hate that I used my main hate seethe ow io hate this.

someone save me, oh I hope I don’t get hate on my main.

not because I said anything bad but because TikTok people are a different BREED.

okay example!

Example 1: a video of 3 young teen girls with unblurred faces smashing the remains of a melted ice sculpture.

the comments were filled with hate for these kids like they had punched someone or something, most of them were like “if I saw that I would have beat those kids” and “evil! Can we dox them?”

dude, it was crazy.

Example 2: a video of a horse picture with the text “they ruined the cannibalism metaphor with their shitty poems”

Idk what the context is for that actually lol.

example 3: someone in a mental health matters tagged video saying that you can’t help people who are suffering from Self Harm because it’s on them to do that, also “people who send SH/ED’s pictures are bad people and attention seekers”

that made my jaw fucking drop, like while I’ll always advocate “please don’t send people fresh Self harm photos period” I’m not going to demonise someone that does, because that is beyond a cry for help that’s a scream.

and also everyone was demonising cluster B people, and people who are violent because of mental illness/people who scream and yell say things that hurt people because of mental illness are bad people aswell.

like.. oh my god, it’s different if it’s not purposeful malice and just mental illness shit. Like I know people who are exactly like that, and they are people I love and care for deeply. It’s not their fault they can’t control their emotions because they have can’t control emotions disorder. They regret it deeply and hate themselves for it and want to be better and loved.

that’s truly what most of mentally ill people want, myself included.

and again and again I see people who are like “these people are horrible and don’t deserve help”. Your feelings of being triggered and fucked up by seeing your friend’s self harm is AWFUL! It sucks! But if you love them, you should put yourself first and be kind.

(Literally just going “hey dude, I love you fuck tons but I can’t deal with seeing your self harm. It’s not because I hate you, it’s not because of anything like that. I’m just not as strong as you when it comes to seeing these things, and it makes me uncomfortable. I’m happy to be here and talk about why you feel this way and I’ll be here for you. But I just don’t have the skills to deal with the sight of injury, you are my friend I care about you (REAL NO JOKE)”)

sometimes the people you love will say things that hurt you because they are hurting incredibly badly and just want someone to see that and tell them

“it happens, sometimes (insert mental illness) happens. You’re not a bad person for it happening. so many people are like you and are suffering the same pain, and it happens. You will feel bad until you feel okay, healing takes time. And learning to live with (insert mental illness) is hard, no one ever said it’s easy. It’s hard and it takes a long time, but it gets better <3 because we aren’t perfect! no one is! we hurt and scream and push away those we love and it’s hard to fix that. Sometimes we don’t, but it happens. We will make mistakes and hurt others and ourselves, that’s life. And I’ll be here, because I believe in you even if you are hurting, even if you tell me he most vile shit, I’ll stay. It’s not okay you say that, but your (insert mental illness) it happens and until you feel better I won’t hold it against you. I’ll be hurt, but I won’t hold it against you. Your you, and I think you deserve to live and not hurt anymore. I’ll listen, I will listen.”

mental illness is not a monolith and is so hard and difficult to understand sometimes, we are social creatures and all we want is care and kindness.

YES I’M TALKING ABOUT YOU TOO NPD AND ASPD PEOPLE!

I will never know how to help someone, I will always just flounder until I figure something out. But trying is really all we can ever do.

I love you guys, we are all fucked up we are all so fucked up. And that’s okay, you will be okay.

one of these days it’ll stop, and you will stop feeling bad and feel okay. Some of us will have a hard, hard time figuring out how to do that.

but don’t give up, because I won’t. Even if you couldn’t fulfill your dreams I’ll hold them softly for you, if you suffer let’s suffer together.

if you die, I’ll remember you, if your scared we can be scared together.

It’s going to be okay, because people do care. People actually do care, and your not done yet, just hold on.

you will get there, just hold on. We will make it, we will all make it.

I am still hung up on the first one.

[mad-c1oud]

dances around in your inbox. immi ironically makes ME insane, along with this was a home once (which i re read often LOL) because your world building and writing is so phenomenal. The way you capture charlies dynamics with other people and how he fights tooth and nail to keep up eggxile yet he just gets dragged unwillingly into the now pack bonded islanders. It goes without saying but my favorite dynamic is of Etoiles and Charlie. second place goes to him and baghera and then him and foolish. wait and him plus ALL the eggs. wait also him and-

maybe i just like ur writing

WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ARE TOU TRYING TO MAKE ME CRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dude don’t even get me started on twaho that fic started everything. I have, I have a lot of feelings about Charlie and his interactions with the other islanders and eggs. I just want him to get the healing arch he deserved and if that means rewriting canon and giving him a fuckinh greenhouse, I’m giving qsmp Slimecicle a fucking greenhouse

I’ll be honest though, didn’t have much planned out regarding word building besides the warpstone when I started writing it so don’t look too hard into inconsistencies in the beginning lmao. I also have to remind myself that what I say in immi about world building has not necessarily been said in twaho and I cannot assume you are all in my brain

I’m using this as an excuse to talk about the fic a lil more I like giving behind the scenes stuff hit you guys will like the next two chapters. Totally unrelated but the first Charlie and Étoiles thing I ever wrote was for this fic and yes, I did ship them at the time. Don’t read into the scene too hard and realize my glaring obvious interest in them smoochin

anyway twaho is my baybeeeeee and I need to get cracking at the next chap (a lot of sillies packed into<3)

[val-of-the-north]

OKAY IMPORTANT UPDATE SO Crow convinced me that the more appropriate Type Of A Guy group is Allant, Gwyn, Aldia, Aldrich, Micolash and Shabriri, and it was actually Laurence who I unofficial 7th member because his portrayal and being pair item with Micolash is very speculative even if reasonable. As we in Russia say, пока запишем карандашом. I'd now ask you to write something funny and cringey for new super cool updated cast thanks to that CHICKEN, but this will just come across as me barely concealing my simping -_-" So I'll just ask for YOU to rate The Guys. You need to speak your opinions more, it is always good shit

Noooooo now I have to ramble about characters I hate that, fuck you. I hate rating people lol. But fineeeee:

Number 6 - Micolash lmaoripbozo

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Ok ok, that's not actually true... I think my actual number 6 for the time being might be Shabriri. That doesn't mean I hate the guy, but he is simply a fucking dick. Like, so far he's the only one with not a droplet of cohesive motivation, and ending the suffering of everyone seems like a front for his true desire of seeing chaos consume reality. I like myself a seemingly pure evil baddie, but if I have to rate him with all the other dudes, he sorta pales in comparison. Maybe the DLC will expand on his philosophy and what he did before he had the Nomads entombed and decided to set the world ablaze with chaos. He IS very fun though, I will give him that lmao.

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At number 5 I'd probably put Allant, though he might be subject to change whenever I get to play Demon's Souls. As was stated a bunch, he is a more depressed Shabriri, which makes him more genuine. His desire to end the suffering of mankind is true, unlike the previous prick, even if his methods of attaining that are fucked beyond compare. And that's the problem with him lol.

He only increased the world's suffering exponentially, because that's arguably what benefits the soul-hungry demons in the long run. He failed the one thing he wanted to do and probably doesn't even see it because he is too blinded by his own suffering and hatred of life. He is the reason his kingdom is run by corrupt officials, that his son gives up on life, and that most of his people have become food for unfeeling abominations. He is a weak leader. There's nothing wrong with being weak, but you are not supposed to drag the world down with you the way he decided to do...

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Number 4 was hard to place since I am still not sure what I am rating them for... so far it seems to be the complexity of their motivations/actions and the way they went about them. I guess this spot could go to Micolash in this case. Most of his motivations (if they even are his, and not just those of the School of Mensis as a whole) are context-heavy, which isn't really good in terms of building a compelling case as to why he should be above someone like Allant... still, the amount of cut content centered around him points to him having had a much richer role than what meets the eye, which I believe boost the likelihood that his character is well-defined even in the full game.

(To be honest, even if we know very little of that version of him, I suspect I would have liked him more like that lmao.)

His pursuit of knowledge probably had a concrete goal before it spiraled into what we see in-game. Despite its horrible fuckups, the Healing Church did start out genuinely seeking ways to better humanity, but it distanced from it the more it continued. The Choir, where he and most of Mensis probably originates, already sought to abandon their human roots, and the school he was part of likely did so even more. But they wouldn't seek guidance from the Great Ones, they'd become on par with them.

And to rise above humanity they did unspeakable things... some of them didn't even make any sense. Why stitch together those horrible corpse beasts? Why switch the heads of two animals? Why cram all those human remains into one casket? Not to mention all the people that were kidnapped: half of them were strapped to chairs and the other half turned to stone and merged into the walls. Everything just to try and proceed with a deranged ritual that was only made possible by desecrating an infant and its mother.

And when you finally meet him he is just rambling to himself, all alone and surrounded only by corpse puppets, Edgar and the occasional attendant. He has been stuck between those halls for long enough that his body has been mummified, and doesn't seem to have made any significant progress. He has likely lost his mind, rendering whatever it was that he was seeking worthless. But hey, at least he was closer than anyone to finding out about Kos from outside the Hunter's Nightmare, so I guess we can give him that.

Also his cut dialogue is pretty emotional, and makes me wonder just how different he was before he lost his mind... I ultimately think I have a soft spot for him ahahah

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Number 3 is Gwyn, but it was really close with Aldrich on this one, lol. I decided his goals were assuredly less complex/noble, even though his means weren't as grotesque. To be honest, I think he's a pretty maligned character, for good reasons mind you. He effectively screwed over everyone in an attempt to keep the status quo intact, and before that, he took several preventive measures that just made life miserable for people in the long run. All of this paints a rather unflattering picture of Gwyn, and I do not deny this. What I argue against is the reason why he did what he did... to me, Gwyn was genuinely afraid.

Kaathe says Gwyn "trembled at the Dark", he was surely afraid of what darkness and an age of men entailed, especially for his people and family. What he did feels less like something a power-hungry lord who seeks to keep his power intact would do and more like one desperate attempt to delay a force much greater than you. His was a sacrifice in the end, and while his legacy is and will inevitably be cinders in an empty world, what prompted him to do what he did was something understandable, and very human of him ironically enough...

As an aside, I'm actually not super convinced that Gwyn fits neatly into this group of guys either. Honestly, Dark Souls 1 might lack a character that embodies this vibe. Instead, it has several with only bits and pieces of it. I find it more fitting to group him with the likes of Marika and Laurence rather than these other dudes.

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Number 2 is Aldrich as you could have probably guessed. He is an awful awful man, but his course of action is probably the most anyone had been doing before the Unkindled woke up to make DS3 happen lol. The world had reached a point of stagnation when nothing new was happening. The dark threatens the light, but then the flame is kindled again, rinse and repeat again and again and again... he was doing SOMETHING different and prompting change, even if it was in a way that could be considered disgusting, unpleasant and evil. The once beautiful Deep had been turned into a seedbed of filth because of the stagnant nature of reality and this seemingly endless cycle, and he alone saw salvation through a different kind of age. The start of a brand new, different thing.

The path was arduous, the means deranged, but he DID want something more than chaos for chaos' sake, unlike Shabriri. He wanted to change things, but not passively like Allant. He did not lose track of his goal the more he accomplished like Micolash did, and he did not wish to uphold the status quo but rather challenge it, unlike Gwyn. But I really, REALLY understand why everyone sees him and recoils in horror or thinks there's nothing more complex behind his actions than a simple hunger for power and flesh.

But you know Miyazaki, he likes to write characters who do some really awful things but still portrays them as courageous and heroic in their madness and skewed ways. I get the same vibe from Aldrich, but that doesn't mean he wasn't intentionally portrayed the way he was to inspire discomfort or hatred in most players ahahah. Both things can be true at the same time, and they are!

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Lol number 1's Aldia. He's got everything Aldrich has except for his abhorrent mannerisms and vices. He is someone wholly dedicated to the pursuit of answers, and from what I can tell most of his test subjects were people who accepted his invitations to the keep, which was mostly other madmen with a similar desire to break the boundaries of reality. Of course, it wouldn't be a Soulsborne game without a good dose of war crimes, so he did do things to the giants who ended up as prisoners of war during the two conflicts his brother took part in, but he wasn't making chimeras out of them or wasting them in useless experiments at the very least. Heck, he pretty much turned one into a superior being who seems to be all chill.

All horrors he committed in his mansion were for a singular goal: breaking the curse and finding a way out of a played-out cycle, even by the time of DS2. And while the depths of this obsession show some pretty horrible results, he isn't at all the same as Aldrich, who relished in the suffering of his victims. One can find his experiments horrid, but the man himself not so much. He was simply devoted. So devoted in fact that he destroyed himself to the point he was left with nothing but an endlessly-smouldering body. And despite achieving a form that's arguably outside of the cycle, he still saw it as a failure, because it wasn't what he wanted for humanity.

I've heard him get called a fence-sitter because he promotes inaction, but to arrive at such a conclusion you have to ignore everything that led him to his current state, AND his words to the Bearer of the Curse. If anything, this dude probably did everything one could do in the hopes of changing things, I think he is allowed to feel disillusioned at the end of it all without being described as a fence-sitter. In what way is he one anyhow? Both potential ages suck. Any witless fool can just waltz in and burn themselves or let the flame die. Someone like him would literally have zero reasons to care about either outcome because all his work was meant to lead to something beyond it... but he failed and awaited someone else who would challenge the order of the world and succeed where he couldn't.

At the end of the day, I'm not saying he didn't do anything wrong lol, he still did some pretty weird shit... but I don't think it's insane to say that he is more respectable than basically everyone else on this list by virtue of actually being pretty selflessly motivated and for never losing the plot of why he was doing all those things in the first place.

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I still don't know if I did good lmao, but yeah, this is what I think. If you noticed I get more verbose the deeper we go, that was intentional. It's not as if I don't have anything to say about Shabriri (you should know), it's just for the purposes of this "rating". Ultimately they are all prime characters.

[probablyin-bed]

the bear spoilers ???? kinda????? read at ur own risk I guess

can we talk about how this season of the bear ended bc I have so many things to say. sydney having a full blown panic attack. carmy is turning her into him. he unfortunately turned himself into chef fields. and we alllllll see how he feels about that fuck head, so.

aside from that tho, I absolutely loved their little kick back and syd's place. seeing all these chefs who take everything so seriously be loose and have fun and just fuck around with the faks & richie and just have fun it was very nice to see that. I - loved - seeing chef terry going through syd's fridge and finding the frozen pizza and going "chef terry loves this shit". olivia Colman is a treasure!!!!! also peep richie and jess . hmmmmm

ALSO ! I think carmy needs to be alone LOL like he does not need to have any romantic relationships. poor claire dude. yes, she is indeed the peace so leave her tf alone lol. and keep sydney farrrrrrr away from that relationship too. I absolutely hate that ship bc my girl doesn't need anymore stress from carmy. my boy needs to heal a hell of a lot more. but I did pick up on her little flirtations w luca and I am so incredibly down for that ! (but maybe im reading into that wrong idk)

sugar. nat. I love you. you are top 3 characters for me in this show and you're not 3 ! the whole ice chips episode. ugh. pete is also such a himbo sweetheart. he loves his wife and is just so good.

richie breaks my heart. love him so dearly. that is a girl dad if i've ever seen one. he's trying so hard. he's just too too too good.

fucking john cena as sammy fak? he doesn't look like a fak but god did he fit so well. the 3 of them bouncing off of each other comically was incredible. it worked so well.

i'm sure I have more to say but I need to do a rewatch already so