#he's supposed to surpass her but she's supposed to teach him how to do it right and she'll always be seen as more competent -

[browzerhistory]

still insane about moon and pebbles sorry. will not stop being insane any time in the foreseeable future. sorry.

[tobiasdrake]

Here we go. It's time to talk about my personal fave. As I said before, this is my Main. In Dragon Ball fighting games, this is the character I seek out to play whenever the roster allows. Also arguably the character who's been done the most dirty by just about every form of Dragon Ball, manga included.

The vanguard of a brand new status quo and a brand new direction for what Dragon Ball would even be, washed away by the tides of a status quo resetting to zero.

We're here to talk about the champion of Satan City who carries the spirit of Dragon Ball in her heart: Videl.

(And that is one cookie to @jcogginsa who guessed it.)

Videl was a kid with a chip on her shoulder. I mean. How could you not be? Her father was the legendary world martial arts champion who famously defeated Cell seven years ago.

Don't pay attention to that. He just tripped for a moment. Once he got his second wind, he came right back and showed Cell what for! It was due entirely to Mr. Satan and nobody else that the Earth was spared from the apocalyptic horror that is Cell.

Look, he even said so himself.

Are you gonna call that man a liar? The man who defeated Cell!? I think we can trust Satan's word over yours.

This is the shadow that Videl grew up under. Raised in what had previously been called Orange City, but was renamed Satan City in honor of the world's greatest hero.

Or "Hercule City/Herculopolis" in the versions that edit out Satan's name.

As his daughter, Videl has a perspective on Satan that neither the world nor the audience gets to see: He's a womanizing playboy who cashes in on his world-savior fame for booty.

He also forbids his teenage daughter from dating by putting up the stipulation that any boy interested in her has to be stronger than him, the world champion - A stipulation naturally designed to weed out any possible suitors through intimidation. Wanna date Videl? FISTFIGHT THE MAN WHO DEFEATED CELL.

Oh, but he doesn't teach her a goddamn thing; At least, not anymore, as she does suggest there was once a time when he was her mentor. She's forced to study martial arts entirely on her own because her dad is utterly disinterested in her development in the art.

This is an angle on Satan we never get to see onscreen. Apparently he's pretty shitty about women. You know, I can believe that.

Videl, when we meet her, is trapped in an unenviable position as a martial artist. She hates what the fame of being a legend has done to her dad and wants to knock him down a peg, but she has no foundation to develop her abilities from. The one man who's supposed to be teaching her isn't doing it, and she's been passively discouraged from pursuing more esoteric martial arts because the world champion said that stuff's all fake.

Videl makes for a fascinating foil to Gohan, because they're both children living in the shadows of legendary fathers.

Gohan is expected to be Goku's successor, but wants to live a peaceful life of academia. Meanwhile, Videl is being denied the ability to become Mr. Satan's successor, but craves the opportunity to prove herself.

Nonetheless, both of these kids are prodigies. Videl has a wealth of potential. She doesn't even realize that, despite these limitations, she surpassed her father long ago. Despite being a self-taught teenager with zero comprehension of ki cultivation, Videl hones her skills and developers her art the only way that's available to her: By punching it out with armed robbers in the region.

Backpack Town isn't even her city! She's a one-woman SWAT team for the tri-state area.

As ambitious and driven as she is, Videl is also clever. The anime extrapolates the adventures of the Great Saiyaman into a several-episode arc as Gohan deftly avoids detection by Videl over and over again, but this has the knock-on effect of depriving Videl of one of her best moments.

Because she pegs him instantly. She was already suspicious of Gohan being the mysterious "Golden Warrior", when he tried to use his Super Saiyan form to disguise himself as a superhero.

Which also showed that she was open-minded about the other people who fought Cell. Satan says they were doing a bunch of tricks, but Videl's willing to consider the possibility that there exist people who can turn blond on command.

And then Gohan did this shit.

Because he was raised in the woods by the devil and Goku. Despite trying to keep a low profile, he has absolutely no idea what the baseline for ordinary human ability is.

So. Y'know.

That's pretty fucking suspicious.

Which brings us to Gohan's second outing as Great Saiyaman, and his first meeting with Videl under his new identity. Whereupon she, uh....

Plays him like a fucking sap. It's a great moment that doesn't get its due if it takes several episodes and misadventures for her to reach this point. Videl is exceptionally skilled in the field of paying attention to that time Gohan jumped thirty feet in the air and naturally drawing conclusions from it.

And also his voice and posture and other dead giveaways. Gohan sucks at secret identities.

He's just. So obviously Gohan. There's no way anyone would be fooled by this.

But she's not only adequate at seeing things with her eyes; She's also a legitimately brilliant martial artist in her own right. Due to her upbringing, she's had zero experience with ki cultivation for obvious reasons.

And yet she's talented enough and smart enough to pick up the basics of Bukujutsu in one day.

Oh, don't mind her; That's just Videl making a mockery of Tsuru-senryu by effortlessly devouring their signature technique. This is Goku's first Kamehameha all over again.

She may have started small but Videl learns fucking fast. She has all of the drive and the ambition that Gohan lacks. She wants to be part of this world, she has a ravenous hunger for self-improvement, she's clever and observant, and she picks up concepts insanely quickly.

Videl is fucking primed to be a key player in Dragon Ball's next generation.

...

So now we need to talk about what happened to Videl.

Videl has one major fight in the entire series: Her 25th Tenkaichi Budokai bout against Spopovich.

Which she absolutely dominates. She's stronger, better, and faster than Spopovich. Even the experienced martial artists agree that she's infinity times better than him in every way.

But there's something wrong with Spopovich. He's a decent martial artist, far from the top; He'd competed in the 24th Tenkaichi Budokai and made it through the qualifiers, but was eliminated in the first round. So, y'know, he had no chance in hell against Videl; She's already surpassed Mr. Satan, who won the 24th legitimately.

Uh, by virtue of none of the Kame-senryu or their rivals attending. Mr. Satan is top dog of the same weight class as Pamput from the 22nd.

But, despite being outclassed in every category, Spopovich is also a dead man walking.

He's similar to the Androids in a sense. Spopovich has no ki signature at all, nor does he get worn down by the damage he's taking. This is Vegeta vs. 18 and Piccolo vs. 17 all over again; He isn't feeling the pain from the hits she's landing on him, and so he's able to outlast.

But Spopovich isn't an Android. He's more like a zombie?

At one point, Videl cuts loose and breaks his goddamn neck. Because he's pushing her hard enough that she realizes she needs to go harder, but his body can't take harder. He isn't a match for her. He just. Isn't going down despite not being a match for her.

He can't take this level of force. But he and his ominously vacant absence of ki can put his head right back where it was and continue the fight, no problem. That's honestly scarier than if he'd regenerated.

Also despite not even having the barebones ki signature of a normal person, Spopovich can perform Bukujutsu and fire ki attacks.

Which a fighter of his meager ability shouldn't even be capable of.

All of this adds up to an unwinnable fight for Videl and the setup to... Something. This match has been criticized pretty heavily in the fandom because it gets pretty gruesome and doesn't have a payoff.

We've seen fights go fucking bad for our heroes before. Piccolo once broke all of Goku's arms and legs as well as shooting a hole in his chest, right here in this same arena.

But it's typically building to something. When our heroes get trashed, it's the lead-up to a reversal down the road. Maybe in the same fight. Maybe in a later one. And we seem to be heading in that direction?

After Spopovich and Yamu leave the tournament, we get VIdel a Senzu and she's right as rain.

Spopovich and Yamu steal energy from Gohan and fly off to Babidi's Ship so they can awaken Majin Buu. Kaioshin recruits the various protags to make that not be a thing that happens. And then. Something switches in the narrative flow of this arc.

You can feel it happen.

As our heroes prepare to pursue Spopovich and Yamu, Videl volunteers to join in as well. She's had her eyes opened to a whole new world or possibilities and is hungry to develop her abilities.

And. Then. One chapter later. It's suddenly decided that Videl will not be a part of this storyline after all, and she basically leaves the plot forever.

WHOOPS! Never mind! Didn't want this character here after all. Go home, Videl.

While her adversary Spopovich is unceremoniously unwritten from being a thing that exists.

Babidi just. Kills him. For no reason. Even though his job isn't done yet. Babidi's like, "Oh good, you collected a fraction of the energy we need; That's fine, you can be fired. I don't need anyone to finish the job."

We're just. We're not telling that story anymore. We already threw Videl in the trash; we don't need her nemesis. We're doing a different thing.

Also, because we still have too many characters in this scene, Dabra erases Krillin and PIccolo with magic spit that never comes up again or is meaningful in any way.

You'd think this would be, like, setting up something? Like. Having witnessed it ahead of time, Gohan's able to figure out something about the way Dabra's spit works. So when he fights Dabra in a climactic battle, he can turn this around.

Like when Goku was able to counter Tenshinhan's Taiyoken/Solar Flare in the 22nd Tenkaichi Budokai, because he'd seen it before and understood how it works. That's usually what Dragon Ball does with this sort of advance notice of opponent abilities.

But. No. The most this ever comes up again is that it momentarily costs Gohan one of his gloves. It's just here to winnow down the cast because Toriyama brought too many characters to this scene.

You can feel the burnout taking hold. As janky as the Android arc was, the Buu arc's level of jank is through the roof.

And that became it for Videl. Denied any sort of payoff for her one fight and instead relegated to background character, Videl never got a chance to live up to the intriguing potential she was introduced with. She was the face of a new direction for Dragon Ball, a direction that ended up strangled in its crib as the series reverted to old ideas and old formulae - strangling her along with it.

Videl is a character I look at and can't help but wonder what could have been. What could have been if Gohan got to keep his focus, and Videl got to remain a key player in a story about him? What could have been if we got to see Videl developing her skills at the same fever-pace that she learned Bukujutsu with? What could have been if she got that rematch with Spopovich she seemed to have been promised by the narrative, and then got to stay involved throughout the Buu arc?

But I guess we'll never know.

[storms-path]

Dawntrail and Conquerors

Dawntrail has given me thoughts. So many thoughts. This is only one of 'em, be prepared for more! But also, SPOILERS FOR BASICALLY ALL OF DAWNTRAIL AHEAD! Read on at your own risk!

There’s something of a running theme throughout FF14 that I think Dawntrail has really honed in on, and it’s something that resonated with me the more I thought about it. Time and time again we’re confronted with men who claim that they are worthy of rule through the strength they bring to bear, and time and time again they’re laid low by our own. We see it with Gaius, with the Heavensward, with the entirety of the Garlean empire (but in particular Yotsuyu and Emet-Selch), and now in Dawntrail with… Well, you know. The theme is clear: Conquerors do not keep their thrones.

So when we heard stories at the end of Endwalker about how the mighty Dawnservant united the people of Tural, a famously divided people by both land and people, my thought was this: We have another conqueror who we’ll inevitably have to topple. With the Garlean empire fresh in my mind, it was the obvious conclusion to reach towards. And Wuk Lamat was already shown to be sheltered and naive from her introduction, which made me wary of trusting her word on her own father’s supposed goodness.

Suffice to say I was pleasantly surprised that Gulool Ja Ja was not a conqueror, but a uniter instead. For all that he’s hyped up as an incredibly strong combatant, and a force to be reckoned with on and off the battlefield, all the stories we hear of Tural’s founding are of him… Making peace. Liberating through non-violence. Saving people from terrible beasts. Forcing a generations-old war to end through a cook off to end all cook-offs! He could have quite easily conquered the people of Tural, forced them together through violence, but he knew how short-sighted that would be. He was raised in warfare, called upon to be a saviour of his forsaken people and lead them out of the canopy… and he did, in a way. But he did so without casting down everyone around him.

Is he a perfect ruler? Oh, absolutely not. His people still have problems, especially the Mamool Ja who chose to remain. But he has succeeded in bringing together a prosperous, peaceful nation in a time of upheaval and crisis. And despite everything, he is successful in… well, being succeeded. His trials do exactly what they should, but teaching Wuk Lamat and Koana how to properly rule through respecting their people instead of using them for their own gain.

Which bring me neatly to Vergil Zarool Ja.

Zarool Ja is everything Gulool Ja Ja isn’t. Ruthless, cold, unable to see the people around him as anything but tools. He claims he wants to bring war for the sake of peace, but he simply wishes to escape his father’s shadow and truly surpass him. And he cares not a whit for his siblings or fellow competitors. At every turn he is given the choice to do better, and at every turn he chooses to walk further down the path of blood and violence. So it came as little surprise when he positioned himself as head of a conquering army, intent to overturn everything his father worked to build.

Zarool Ja is the clearest and finest-pointed reminder of FF14’s core lessons. He is the epitome of unearned strength, literally leaching it from the souls of his people. And it consumes him in the end, turning him into a pale mockery of his father, complete with a stump where his second head should be. Resolve without reason, hellbent on conquest at any cost. And so, of course, we put him down. Just another marker on our list of conquerors conquered.

And then Sphene fully unmasks.

Sphene is… very interesting. In a lot of ways, she entirely rejects the idea of conquest. She only wants to keep her people safe from harm forevermore. She actively joins us against Zarool Ja when he turns on them! But therein lies the problem. She can’t keep her people around without taking from others. And so, regretfully, with utmost sorrow… She enacts her plan to keep her hollow world alive. Invading other reflections and robbing them of their aether to keep her people forever sated and able to live beyond death. It doesn’t matter to her that they’re only shades. After all, she is one herself. If that’s what it will take to protect and safeguard her people, so be it. No sacrifice too great, no sin unforgivable. So she does what so many have done before her.

She attempts conquest. And we put her down.

Conquerors do not keep their thrones, after all.

[teatreeoilll]

|| Selfish (Gojo Satoru X Reader) ||

(Reposted from my old blog which I don't have access to anymore (thanks Tumblr), if you liked it reblogs or likes would be appreciated to get me back on track since I've lost all my followers and half my work :(

In which Gojo is so protective over reader she's sure he hates her. Couldn't be further from the truth, but how would you know it without some good old-fashioned over dramatic angst?

TW: mentions of smoking and blood.

"He hates me. I swear, I know it sounds like I'm exaggerating..." You catch yourself muttering on the steps leading to the training field. The breeze tickles your skin, you cast your shoes aside to change them to trainers. "I didn't even have time to go back to my room and change. All day it's do this, go get that… I swear, Kyoto sounds like a great idea these days."

Nobara sits beside you, her look shifts to your shoes, "Where'd you get those? I never saw them in this color before."

"Kugisaki!" You plea, "I'm serious, please. Gojo hates me. How does it make sense that I'm stuck in damn Grade 2 for the past year and half?"

"Maybe," She takes her phone out to take a picture of your shoes, "You're just not as good as you think?"

"Oi, Kugisaki, don't talk to your elders like that!" Yuji's voice butts in, he sits with a thump on the stairs next to you. "But I can't imagine Gojo-Sensei hating anyone. Especially a teaching assistant. It makes no sense."

It really does make no sense, you drowned your face in your palms. How are all these kids supposed to take you seriously when they see you humiliated daily? Rejected from missions. Stuck on the same Jujutsu-Grade as the second year students for so long you've lost all hopes of ever advancing anywhere. Forever a teaching assistant, a mere substitute teacher for the times when the truly powerful had more important things to do.

Disheartened, you've reduced to sharing your feelings with first-years before training. "Alright, pair up. We haven't got all day!" You get up from the steps, trying to pick up the remains of your self-esteem.

Dusk crept over the surrounding trees. You've been watching the students for hours now, noticing how through each change in their pairings they've gotten better and faster. Familiar feelings loomed over you. That's it. That has to be it. Another day of watching these kids surpass their own limits so simply will surely be the end of the line.

You marched straight into Gojo's office, not even making an effort to change to something not drenched with sweat.

"We will not have that conversation again," the white haired man didn't even bother to look up from his phone. It's true, you've had this conversation every couple of months - and you've always received the same unsatisfying answers.

"You're right," you found yourself standing straight across from him, the palms of your hands hitting the desk in between you a little too hard.

"Careful with that, it's expensive." He says. You stare at him in silence. How is it, that with all the anger you hoped he'd notice you've directed at him, he wouldn't even avert his gaze from his phone for one minute?

"Saturo, I've -"

"First name basis, are we now?" Another smug smirk sent your way, your cheeks began to burn.

"I think first name basis may be appropriate, since I've decided to transfer to Kyoto." Oh god, when was that decision made? You've always liked Tokyo, the proximity from the city made all your futile efforts here worthwhile. But it was too late to back down. Gojo's hand reached to his blindfold, one blue eye peeks at you.

"Alright, good luck then." The blindfold snapped back on, his attention returned quickly to his phone.

"Good luck then," you mutter to yourself, walking back through the darkening corridors to your room, "Good luck then, huh?" It's been over five years now since you've first arrived in Jujutsu High, was good luck then all that he could say? What a fucking -"

-

"Emergency!" A voice rang through the building. Oh god, what now? You think, with your eyes set on your room to wallow the evening in your newly made terrible decision.

"Someone! Please!" Your legs carried you before your reasoning did. Through the curves of the hallways, straight to the first-year's rooms.

"It's Yuji," Kugisaki looked at you, panting, "He tried to pet Megumi's divine dog. I don't think the dog liked it."

Yuji held out his arm. After a thorough inspection, it was just a scary looking graze on his forearm. He muttered to Nobara it wasn't much to fuss about, the blood smearing on the sleeve of his uniform. "It's nothing bad, we'll tend to it any way to avoid an infection," you prompted him to get up from his seat, "I think Shoko's still in the infirmary."

You sat on the infermary bed, with Yuji already on his way back to his room you'd found the time to share your troubles. Shoko sighed, fumbling for a lighter through the things on the tray next to her. "Shoko, I'm going to Kyoto."

She lit her cigarette, the smell of smoke suffocating the small room. "That's nice, when will you be back?" She asked, huffing smoke in the direction of the open window.

"I don't think I'll be back for a while. Or at all, actually." She dragged a chair to the side of the bed, watching your fingers tap on the fabric.

"I wondered when you'll finally do that. You spoke to Satoru again, didn't you?" A sigh escaped her lips. She'd rarely admit to liking spending time with anyone, but the occasion seemed to call for it. "I'll miss you. That prick always thinks he's doing the right thing."

"I hardly think it's right to deny promotions from anyone for so long. He made sure I was so busy that I could hardly find the time to go on missions." Shoko weighed her words carefully, tapping carefully on the ashtray, removing the ash residue from her cigarette.

"It's because he'd never tell you how scared he is for something to happen to you. It's still selfish, don't get me wrong there - but I think he's far too afraid of something happening that it has become easier for him to sabotage you. I told him repeatedly to stop but he just -" Her words cut off by a knock on the door.

"Ieri! You there?" Gojo's impatient knocking had turned frantic. "The lights are on, Shoko. Open up!" Your eyes shot up at Shoko, speak of the devil. The handle turned lightly.

Gojo entered the room, turning straight to Shoko, not even looking at your direction. You'd managed to quickly find an excuse to leave, struggling to believe that's the same man who'd do anything out of concern for you. You closed the door, fingers lingering on the round handle, thinking how wrong it would be to eavesdrop while pressing your ear to the door.

"You know she's really leaving, right?" Shoko's distant voice lectured. "That's on you for acting selfish, Gojo." As you thought, he said nothing. Quickly diverting the conversation to something relating to a mission, another one you weren't supposed to be a part of. Perhaps it was wrong to eavesdrop. You stepped away from the door to turn to the direction of your room. Finally, some good wallowing time.

-

By the next morning, you've already made all the necessary calls. Wishing somehow it would be harder to convince the higher-ups of your sudden move, but it seemed that help was welcome anywhere, and work always needed to be done.

With your bags half packed, you were almost ready to say the sudden goodbyes to the students. The nostalgic look on every part of your room had already taken over, the final time of staring at that crack on the ceiling, the final time of covering that old coffee stain on the nightstand with a small glass whale statuette Gojo brought from one of his trips. Perhaps it's better to leave it there.

You gathered your nerves, opening the door, just to watch the tall white haired man pace from side to side in the hallway. "Did I forget something?" Your hand held the door open. He jumped up a bit from the sudden voice.

His pacing slowed, he took a step towards you, you gulped at the narrowing distance between your bodies. "I - spoke to Shoko. I think I got carried away, you don't have to leave on my account." The words felt empty as he said them, Shoko must have chewed him out well yesterday.

"You know Go-," You inhaled, "Satoru, not everything happens because of you." He dropped his sunglasses further down on the bridge of his nose, his blue eyes piercing through you. You hardly ever saw him without his blindfold, his stare sending shivers down your spine.

"Shoko was quite adamant it's all my fault, So I thought I better -"

You laughed, "Shoko was also quite adamant that all this time you just cared about me, so I guess even smart people can be wrong sometimes."

"But I do." His hand brushes through his hair, just for it to fall over his eyes again.

"Funny," you snarl, he studies your expression silently. You've taken advantage of that silence to continue, "So all these years you were just protecting me from dying? I thought sorcerers had accepted that fate when walking in here."

"Some things are worse than death," A solemn look takes hold of his face, you could have sworn the color of his eyes darkened.

"Do you take me for such a weakling?" Your tone of voice already deeming the conversation as pointless.

"I never said that. I think you care, perhaps too much. I would never want to see you sacrifice yourself over anything." The joyless tone of voice was far from his usual demeanor.

"Well, now you wouldn't have to see me at all." Your nerves had gotten the best of you. You hardly meant to say it, but as the words were spat out of our mouth, it seemed inappropriate to back off this course of action.

"You're not listening to me, (Y/N)" He could hardly cover how irritated he was, his hand gripped your forearm, pushing you towards him. His breath stroked your face, "I would never want something to happen to you, but you seem to be pushing towards it all the time. Aren't you happy with the students? Why do all of you have to go running around searching for burdens to carry when you don't have to?" His fist contracts tighter around your arm. His teeth clench to stop another flow of words he'd regret later on.

"Satoru, who's all of us?" In your voice a sense of shame, an empty pit has formed down at the bottom of your stomach, his eyes still fixed upon you. The same feeling of being scorned as a child, a tough love you'd thought would pass you by at this age.

"Aren't you happy?" he questions you again, you wiggle your arm as a sign of pain, even as he lets it go you still feel the marks that his fingers left there.

"I am, It's just that -" He couldn't let you go on for a second longer, his lips pressing firmly against yours, your breath sucked away by his tongue. A long minute passed, your hand had found a happy place inside his hair, his arms had restricted your movement and emitted safety all together.

Just as he'd stopped for a breath, you'd decided it'd be far too hard to continue the conversation if this went on.

"I'd like to not be hindered, Satoru," you wiped the wetness of your lips with your sleeve, "Nobody comes to Jujutsu-High to be protected, they come to protect. If I can't do it when you're there, I'll go." You watched his face change, his mind racing behind the sunglasses.

"You can do it here," A piece of sadness was left in an otherwise tranquil voice.

"Good." Your smile had reminded him to breathe, "Now," you mused, "Would you mind kissing me like you're angry again?" His laughter lifted the tension from your body,

"Oh - Dirty," The familiar smirk had settled down the final waves of emotion.

-

"Not a word, Shoko." You pleaded to her again.

"If you don't want the school talking about it, then don't have your arguments in the hall." She took a long drag from her smoke, "Would you mind kissing me like you're angry again?" She imitates you silently, chuckling under her breath.

"Shoko, I'm begging you!" 

[savannahsdeath]

"I'm supposed to protect you."

knight!ellie x princess!reader

warnings: angst, readers mom is reaallyyy annoying (my mommy issues speaking up), being forced to get married (typical for those times), hidden/not tolerated relationship kinda, execution and bad english cuz its my second language sorry bear w me😮‍💨😮‍💨

writers note: wait .. im actuslly surprisingly proud of this one ?? this was supposed to be a lil 1k special because its the first long one shot im posting i think ..anyways enjoy pookies<3<3

'understand that when you leave here

you'll be clear among the better man'

≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫

you looked at the prince from across the table. you tried to find something—anything that'd remind you of her, so your agony will stop, or at least decrease. but even his green eyes, the same color as hers, weren't looking at you with such admiration. his sword was just as shiny, sharp and impressive, but it wasn't made to protect you. and his words, oh his words... they were smart and stern, slightly softening when speaking to you - his soon to be wife - but they were meaningless compared to hers.

you knew that's what awaits you, you were preparing for this moment since the day you were born, but this fact didn't make it any better - any easier to accept.

you peeked a last glance at him - the prince, considered being the most handsome out of all principalities. but he was also the love of your life, against your own will, and that made your body fill with disgust. your face heated up and your hands started shaking, so you stared down, trying to pretend you're focused on eating. the view of your plate, the not finished meal, made the nausea only worse.

you stood up, making a loud scraping noise when your chair moved on the wooden floor. everyone's eyes were on you.

your stare was shifting across the known and unknown faces for a split second, your gaze lingering for a little longer on your mother's disappointed, scolding face.

"i'm sorry." you muttered and quickly left the dining room, leaving a chord of whispering, probably gossiping voices behind you.

you felt your eyes starting to water up, single tears slowly falling down. you just pushed forward, hoping to find an empty corner in the hallways full of busy maids and other services.

"your highness?" someone asked, but you felt too overwhelmed to think who it was. eventually, the person forcefully grabbed your arm. even though the touch was soft and somehow comforting, you stopped walking and aggressively broke your hand free.

"how dare you—!" you shouted, sounding more sad than mad. whoever it was, you had to admit that touching princess like that was brave. you turned around and through your blurry from tears vision saw your knight, number one protector, staring at you in deep disbelief and concern. "i'm sorry." you murmured and quickly began making your way to your dorm again. you wiped your cheeks with your palm, not bothering to find a tissue in the pockets of your uncomfortable but pretty dress.

the footsteps won't stop - in fact, they surpassed you and their source blocked your way.

"what happened?" ellie asked, raising her arms to caress your face, but not doing it yet - not without your permission.

you grabbed her wrists and brought her hands to your face, leaning into her touch and falling apart in this exact second. she spent a moment trying to calm you down, but even her proximity wasn't enough. she started dragging you outside, before anyone could find you both like that.

she stayed quiet until you found yourself in the castle's backyard, decorated with every kind of flowers possible. it was already dark, since you spent the whole day preparing for your wedding. without a word, she lay down on the grass and patted the space next to her, motioning for you to do the same, and so you did. for a second nothing but silence comforted both of you. you looked at the stars, trying to find any constellations your teacher told you about. the last wet tears on your cheeks started to flow down, leaving only barely visible drying stains.

you thought about how ellie treats you, and how you treat her. does every princess feels so warm whenever her knight is near?

you felt embarrased at the thought, and about the current situation. you were allowed to cry. your cherries were too sweet? too sour? cry about it, blame everyone and act all hysterical because it's, obviously, the end of the world! you have every right to do that - you're the princess and everyone should risk their life if it means you will be satisfied.

no. you weren't like that. you didn't cry when you cut your palm with a kitchen knife or when the wound won't heal properly. you accepted the doctor's help and, what's unbelievable, thanked him for it. how could you be grateful to someone who isn't royal in any way? you'll never forget how mad your mother was back then.

while your gaze was on the sky, ellie's was on you. you could feel it, so you turned your head to the side - and you were right, prince's eyes were really nothing compared to hers.

she spoke up as soon as she saw she has your attention; "is it because of the stress?"

"stress?" you repeated, biting your bottom lip, almost making it bleed.

"maybe you're sick?" she put her hand on your forehead, surely trying to find an excuse to be close to you. or maybe she was really concerned? your cheeks were probably really red due to her closeness, she could misinterpret it. "are you feeling unwell, your highness?"

you looked away, trying to brush your flushness away by getting lost in the moonlight. the full moon was approaching, and you tried to guess how many days are there left. maybe four?

ellie's hand slowly slid down your face, stopping on your chin, before slowly leaving your body. "you should be excited." she stated, but her tone made it sound like she was ranting about it. maybe you're not the only one who's not happy about the situation.

"well, i'm not." you shrugged, trying to sound as emotionless as possible, though it probably made your discomfort even clearer. your eyes wandered around the sky and you raised your hand, pointing at seven stars. "look, big dipper."

she took a moment to find the constellation, before slowly and firmly pushing your arm down. "i need to know what's wrong." she sighed, her worried eyes begging you for an answer.

an answer you couldn't give her, because what were you supposed to say?

"you don't." you denied in a quiet tone.

"please," she continued, stubbornly not giving up, "i'm supposed to protect you."

another sigh, this time yours. you stayed silent for a moment, before spotting different stars creating a familiar shape. before your hand could fully raise, ellie held it down. in any other circumstances, she would get roughly punished for treating you like that. she was lucky you wanted to be treated like that - like a normal human, and not a piece of delicate glass.

"i don't want him." you finally admitted, rolling onto your side to look at her. "he doesn't want me, either."

she scanned your expression, her own seeming deadly serious. you looked down and saw some smudges of dirt on your dress, hoping your mother won't notice them.

she frowned a little, knitting her eyebrows together. "i'm sure he does."

"then he's bad at showing it." you muttered and saw her confusion deepen. "why would you bring me here?" you looked around and took a deep breath, enjoying the scent of flowers. their colorfulness was visible even despite the late, dark time, standing out above the solid green grass.

she thought about your question for a quite long time, not sure is it tricky or rhetorical. "i like this place." she finally spoke up, her lips turning into a soft smile.

"no, i'm asking..." you shook your head, fixing your rolled down sleeves. "why would you bring me here?"

this wasn't a question she expected. even you weren't planning it and now you regretted pushing this subject. what answer did you expect? no matter what would it be, you still wouldn't be satisfied.

"it's important to me." she tugged a loose strand of your hair behind your ear, before caressing your cheek. "and so are you." you stared at her lips as she spoke, admiring how soft they look even though the words leaving them were serious and important. as soon as she finished, your gaze shifted back to her eyes.

"i think—" you gulped, feeling the meaning behind her phrase weigh on you. "i think this is something i need to hear from the prince. from my—" husband. say it. the voice in your head tried to convince you it's not a bad word, but it just felt so wrong. you felt like you're close to breaking down everytime you remembered you're his wife. well, you'll be tomorrow.

"i mean what i said, your highness." her thumb traced the outline of your lips, as her own uncontrollably parted. your body trembled and your eyes closed shut for a while. before you opened them, you heard her body shifting and soon, you felt her lips on yours.

the kiss confirmed your belief that she is soft, but she was even softer than you imagined. her fingers glided across your face, gently stroking it and moving your hair out of the way. her body fit so perfectly into yours, like she was made for you, and you were made for her. you felt something strange in your stomach, like you just got rid of a knot inside it, though you didn't even know it was there in the first place. the time was fleeting but you managed to remember every little detail, so when she pulled away you let out a satisfied sigh.

"i'll miss you, ellie." ugh, addressing to a knight by their name in such a soft voice- if only your mother was there. but it was only you two, surrounded by the beautiful scent of flowers and stars which seemed to be hanging right above your heads.

she smiled, though there was a hint of surprise, maybe confusion, in her expression. "i'm not going anywhere."

"but once i'm married, i'll leave with the prince." you stammered, your eyes suddenly glistening. her own became glossy, like they were covered in a thin mirror glass which perfectly reflected the moonlight. "i have to." you added after a moment, making sure she knows it wasn't your choice.

"i—" she started but didn't make a second attempt to speak after her voice drifted off once. she rolled onto her back and looked at the sky. "this is your home, your highness. you can't leave." she seemed to plead you to stay, and god, how much you wanted to...

"i'm scared." you admitted, your gaze desperately lingering on her, as if she'll disappear once you look away.

"of him?" she inquired as her hand found yours and gently rested on it.

your arm tensed at her sudden touch, but your whole body relaxed as soon as her thumb started stroking your palm. deep breath. "of living without you." you whispered, ashamedly looking to the other side to avoid her. you felt her squeezing your hand, and your grip on her also tightened. you started silently begging for the ability to stay like that forever, even if it meant you will spent the eternity in silence and with teary eyes. it would be the best reward you could ask for, a dream coming true.

──────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────────

the first thing you felt after finally coming to your senses was your mother fastening the corset, tightening it to the point your breath hitched. an hour of scolding for you leaving the dinner passed and now she went back to her stern, rough, but at least not mad facade. you weren't listening to whatever she was saying, thinking about how did you end up in your bed this morning. did you came here by yourself and you just don't remember? or maybe you fell asleep, ellie carried you here and tucked you in bed? at just this single idea of her, your mind wandered to the previous late evening. you felt overwhelmed by the memory of her words and, most importantly, her kiss. your breath got heavier, the corset not making it any easier to stay calm. your body started suddenly sweating, as if a wave of heat just washed over you.

"mother— i'm in love." you blurted out, before you could think of the consequences. you just had to get that off your chest.

"well, that's good." you saw a small smile creating on her lips. you finally received a human-like kindness from her, probably for the first time in years. "i hope you won't change your mind before the wedding."

your worry quickly turned into confusion and, eventually, the same disgust as yesterday. "i'm not talking about the prince!" you paused and looked down, not wanting to drag the topic but, at the same time, not able to stop it. "it's one of the knights." you really weren't controlling the words coming out of your mouth and that could only mean one thing - problems. "ellie."

your mother quickly spun you around and forcefully grabbed your chin. "i'm not even surprised." she hissed, making sure you know how disappointed in you she is. "but i won't tolerate that." the sharpness of her statement successfully shut you up, so you didn't argue nor pushed the topic when she went back to preparing you for the big, big day. she started acting like nothing happened and kept reminding you about how important it is. of course she only cared about her own good, or at least it felt like so, as she silenced you everytime you wanted to speak.

everyone was formally dressed, even the poorest maids found something noble. they all cutely smiled at your sight, probably impressed by your dress. the dominant color was clearly white, a sign of purity which you seemed to lack. that's what your mother made you believe, at least. but maybe she was a bit right after all? because your feelings towards ellie- oh, ellie.

you shook your head, forcing yourself to get her out of your mind. you looked at the service again, and they all immediately flashed you a smile as if on command. you reciprocated the gesture, though you could guess what was really on the women's mind. they hated you. they hated the ungrateful princess which would pick a knight over a prince. your obvious dissatisfaction, even without knowing the real reason behind it, seemed stupid. if only you could swap your places with one of them— not only you'd make her happy, but you and ellie could... oh, so you're thinking of ellie again.

you tried to move your veil so it'd cover the tears in your eyes, but there was always someone who'll fix it for you, not knowing you're doing it intentionally. you felt weak. physically and, mostly, mentally. because your knees, which barely held you up, which felt so light compared to the rest of your body as if they were made of cotton wool, everything above could be explained. by stress. but the intangible weakness was way worse. the prince seemed really nice and wasn't too old, you could get along well. but your heart was already taken by...

you turned around and your gaze wandered across the benches - you saw your family on the one side, his on the other, and a row of services against the wall. you could only think about one thing. where's ellie?

the question intrigued you to the point you started mouthing it to yourself, imagining 'if i were her, where would i go?'. but did it matter? she could be everywhere - in her room, in the garden - the point is, she wasn't there. your mother noticed your anxiety and walked over to you, hoping she'll be able to stop you from ruining the ceremony.

"where's ellie?" you immediately asked, frowning but calming down as there was someone able to answer your question.

"ellie?" she queried with a frown on her own, though hers quickly softened. "oh, the knight. look, there's other knights—"

"but ellie..." you cut her off with a sigh. "only she can protect me." you looked at the opened, massive doors, staring at the little stairs leading to the church you were in now, hoping to see her.

"there are dozens of more experienced knights." she rolled her eyes, discretely pointing at the row. "you and your stupid whims." with that, she left you and the prince alone at the altar. you awkwardly fidgeted with your fingers. you didn't need experienced knights, you didn't need knights at all - you needed ellie. she knew you have nightmares after arguing with your mom or during full moon, and she was there for you. she helped you take off your corset when you were alone, because she knew how much you hate it. she wasn't only your protector, she was someone way more important. not your friend. she was the love of your life. and you had to realise that right before the priest started the ceremony. great.

the whole time, you just watched the doorstep through the corner of your eye. there's no way she'd miss the wedding, so you couldn't help but wonder 'what did my mother do to her?'. you knew you're being naive, but you couldn't stop yourself from it.

you weren't listening at all, but one statement caught your attention, since priest's voice got louder and more stern.

"should anyone present know of any reason that this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace."

a wave of gasps filled the room and as you looked back at the doorstep, you saw that your prayers have been answered. her hand was covered in blood, probably her own since she had it pressed against her stomach as if to stop it from bleeding. you couldn't see how badly she was hurt, since her clothes were messy and torned. she was breathless and her knees seemed to be as weak as yours, but she still managed to shout a raspy; "i object."

it caused a bitter laugh from your mother, followed by shouting at the knights to get her. they hestitated, respecting ellie as one of the best equestrians, but they had no choice. they weren't acting quick or aggresive, and she'd easily get away if she wanted to. she knew her objection won't stop anything and it'll only get her in problems, as if she doesn't have enough yet. but she also knew this was her last chance to show that she'll always, at least try to, protect you. not only from dangerous rebels, but also a non-threatening man you're forced to be with.

you grabbed your dress, slightly rolling it up so you won't stumble as you run, but someone's hands held you in place. you turned around to see the prince and, i have to add, you never really blamed him for that. he had no idea who's ellie, maybe he thought she was a bad person, considering the queen's reaction. everything would be probably even worse if you'd have the chance to intervene. you understood that, though you couldn't calm down for long after ellie was taken out anyway.

the priest looked at your mother, asking the question to which the answer intrigued everyone. "continue." she commanded in her usual firm tone. you could see her mumbling a quiet "this stupid girl won't ruin the wedding" under her breath, but it went unnoticed by everyone except you.

and so the celebration continued as if nothing happened. you stood hand in hand with a man you'll spent the rest of your life with, believing he will never love, know or even see you in the way ellie does. you knew he won't stroke your wet from sweat hair after a tough night, he won't help you dress up and, what hurt the most, he won't take you to the castle's backyard just to rest and watch the sky.

you thought about running away, but the row of ready knights who only waited for the queen's orders made you lose your hope. of course they'd probably hesitate for a moment too, giving you some time, but you still didn't stand a chance. plus, you had different things going on your mind, keeping you busy and unfocused on the ceremony. namely - what will happen to ellie?

──────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────────

you saw an envelope laying on your desk, having only your name on it. you teared it apart, impatiently wanting to get the paper out. you knew who's it from right after reading the first two words - not only because of ellie's handwriting, but also the way she addressed to you; 'my princess.' my princess.

believe me, all too aware am i of what i did. a lot happened behind your back but it is not a topic we should discuss like that. my friend took care of me, and even with the cold taking my body over i am just proud i am still alive, with the chance to write to you. i did something reckless but i believe it was caused by love. luccy says the same, we both think the thought of you controlled me. i could never forgive myself if i didn't see you in that dress. i think this is how i will forever remember you - dressed in white, looking so pure and angelic. i won't waste the ink for trying to compare you to anything, because i will miserably fail. nothing can be compared to you.

how does being married feel? i think you were unnecessarily scared. besides my little antic, it went smoothly. that is what i am told, at least, by the people in town. the queen was wrong about them, they are much more than poor slums. well, maybe they are poor, but i am truly in love with their modest cottages. they do not need much, they are happy with what they are given, and there is something magical about it. i think i would want to live like that. with you warming the other side of our bed. we don't need anyone else, i am sure we would enjoy life on our own.

the wound on my stomach seems to heal correctly. luccy thinks it will leave a scar, but i have some already, so what is one more? our biggest problem is food, because my friend gets a portion which is only enough for her. your mother took my money and weapon, the injury makes me useless anyway. to make matters worse, i have to stay in hiding. i haven't seen the sky since your wedding. oh, the things i would do to see big dipper again. i am not sure how it looks anymore, i have to admit i wasn't paying much attention. i apologize, but in my defense, my focus was on you. you are more interesting than any constellations.

i hope your poesy ring is pretty, at least. i want you to rememeber that you will always be in my heart and a simple ring other man gave you won't change it. maybe he did claim you, but i see you as mine anyway. my princess.

the letter wasn't signed, maybe to avoid any problems if someone else found it, but you were sure who's job is it. you quickly took a piece of paper for yourself to write, but you remembered the envelope didn't contain her address. you were left alone, your only hope was praying you'll get more messages from her. you could try to find her, ask the town residents, but they'd quickly start gossiping.

you looked down - at your promise ring. you couldn't deny that it was perfect and most definitely woth a lot, an ordinary resident of your kingdom could probably afford a food supply for the rest of their life with it. it was way too loose, so you started rolling it around your finger, deep in thought.

──────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────────

your mother pushed you forward, motioning you towards the gate. you saw a young woman led by a pair of knights, just another prisoner. she intensively stared at you and you wanted to ran up to her, no matter how suspicious it'd be. she just seemed so... familiar.

you slowed down, much to your mother's displeasure. "where are we even going?" you inquired, glancing at the carriage. days passed and you should be in prince's castle by now. yet, his visit kept getting longer.

"surprise." she murmured, her tone sucking every remaining bit of happiness inside of you.

you looked back at the woman, getting further and further away from you with each step. you hestitated between obeying your mother or trusting your intuition. the second option prevailed as soon as you saw, or at least could swear that you saw her mouthing ellie's name. you ran up to her, ignoring the queen's shouting at you to go back. the knights ignored you, holding the prisoner's wrists behind her back. you had to walk backwards in order to be able to look at her face. your dress made it hard, but you had to find out what's going on.

"ellie." the woman spoke up, her voice was weak but not from sadness, it sounded more as if she lost it due to screaming for too long. "i'm sorry, your highness. i couldn't protect her—"

"you tried." you cut her off, trying to sound reassuring. "where is she?"

luccy bit her lip and looked down. you wanted to push the topic, but as you turned around to see if you have any obstacles on the way, you saw you're already near the basement - were prisoners were usually located. without thinking, you took your ring off and put it in her pocket. maybe she'll be able to bribe the knights, and even if not, she'll definitely need it more than you.

as you went back to your mother, her yelling wasn't getting to you. you didn't pay attention to anything she said and once she finished, you whispered a quiet; "where are we going?" again. she, obviously, got even more mad at you for ignoring her. the whole ride passed rather quickly, as you relaxed to the melody of your mother rambling about how much of a disappointment you are.

when you arrived to an open area, full of people of all social degree, you felt a knot in your stomach. your whole body was either hurting or weak. you didn't see what are the residents watching, but only big events get so much viewers. you left your mother behind, though this time she didn't try to stop you with her worthless shouting as you made your way through the crowd. you probably hurt a lot of people while doing so, but it was worth it, as you were now standing in the first row, right in front of the... oh. gallows.

a wave of nausea and tears washed over you and you had to hold yourself up by an unknown man's arm. he didn't complain - everyone here knew who are you and they didn't want to end up being the executed ones. as you calmed down, you looked up to see ellie, seeming fearless or even proud. her chin was bruised but raised, showing how unfazed she felt. maybe she was only pretending, who knows, at least she was a good actress.

you screamed out her name, your voice breaking and trembling, as you swallowed your own tears which flowed down your face. she was surprised to see you so close to the gallows without anyone protecting you. her unbothered facade drifted away, and she mouthed "go!" or "don't look!" towards you, wanting to spare you the view. but you couldn't look away, you had to enjoy her green eyes until they were opened, and freckled skin until the blood was flowing beneath it, honoring her with a slight blush. she bit her bottom lip, just like luccy did not long ago, and broke the eye contact. unlike you, she couldn't stand the view of her love. not in those circumstances.

you saw your mother standing outside of the crowd, closer to the gallows than anyone else. she scanned the faces of the already dead people, and you wondered what did they do to deserve this. then, she gestured for some formally dressed men to start. as the noose wrapped around ellie's neck, you screamed again, this time taking action. or, well, trying to, since the crowd held you back, forcing you to not leave them. queen's commands. you cussed them out, trying to break free with all the strength you had.

"any last words?" your mother tauntingly asked, pacing back and forth.

ellie cleared her throat, before looking at you, what only gave you energy and motivation in trying to pull away. "if that's the price of love, then so be it" she was speaking slowly and clearly, making sure these words will be remembered by the community. "i am supposed to protect our only princess, so i'm more than happy to die knowing i did everything i could to—"

"oh, enough!" the queen hissed. "how dare you talk about love!" the way she snapped felt personal, so you almost forgot hundreds of people watch it too. with that, you also failed to remember that they're holding you, so you stopped fighting back and just hopelessly watched the scene.

"what else do we have to talk about?" ellie bitterly laughed, her voice a mix of amusement and hatred. the noose around her neck didn't seem to bother her. she was just so strong and- god, how much you admired this woman.

your mother turned around, waving her hand at the men responsible for the whole ceremony. you screamed again, though this time it wasn't her name. it was a weak but loud scream of protest, the one that tired you to the point you fell down on your knees, violently sobbing as the trapdoor opened.

✧˖°

endings;

the witch hunt

the loop

the connection

[teatreeoill]

|| Selfish (Gojo Satoru X Reader) ||

In which Gojo is so protective over reader she's sure he hates her. Couldn't be further from the truth, but how would you know it without some good old-fashioned over dramatic angst?

TW: mentions of smoking and blood.

"He hates me. I swear, I know it sounds like I'm exaggerating..." You catch yourself muttering on the steps leading to the training field. The breeze tickles your skin, you cast your shoes aside to change them to trainers. "I didn't even have time to go back to my room and change. All day it's do this, go get that… I swear, Kyoto sounds like a great idea these days." Nobara's look shifts to your shoes, "Where'd you get those? I never saw them in this color before." "Kugisaki!" You plea to her, "I'm serious, please. Gojo hates me. How does it make sense that I'm stuck in damn Grade 2 for the past year and half?" "Maybe," She takes her phone out to take a picture of your shoes, "You're just not as good as you think?" "Oi, Kugisaki, don't talk to your elders like that!" Yuji's voice butts in, he sits with a thump on the stairs next to you. "But I can't imagine Gojo-Sensei hating anyone. Especially a teaching assistant. It makes no sense."

It really does make no sense, you drowned your face in your palms. How are all these kids supposed to take you seriously when they see you humiliated daily? Rejected from missions. Stuck on the same Jujutsu-Grade as the second year students for so long you've lost all hopes of ever advancing anywhere. Forever a teaching assistant, a mere substitute teacher for the times when the truly powerful had more important things to do. Disheartened, you've reduced to sharing your feelings with first-years before training. "Alright, pair up. We haven't got all day!" You get up from the steps, trying to pick up the remains of your self-esteem.

Dusk crept over the surrounding trees. You've been watching the students for hours now, noticing how through each change in their pairings they've gotten better and faster. Familiar feelings loomed over you. That's it. That has to be it. Another day of watching these kids surpass their own limits so simply will surely be the end of the line.

You've marched straight into Gojo's office, not even making an effort to change to something not drenched with sweat. "We will not have that conversation again," the white haired man didn't even bother to look up from his phone. It's true, you've had this conversation every couple of months - and you've always received the same unsatisfying answers. "You're right," you found yourself standing straight across from him, the palms of your hands hitting the desk in between you a little too hard. "Careful with that, it's expensive." He says. You stare at him in silence. How is it, that with all the anger you hoped he'd notice you've directed at him, he wouldn't even avert his gaze from his phone for one minute? "Saturo, I've -" "First name basis, are we now?" Another smug smirk sent your way, your cheeks began to burn. "I think first name basis may be appropriate, since I've decided to transfer to Kyoto." Oh god, when was that decision made? You've always liked Tokyo, the proximity from the city made all your futile efforts here worthwhile. But it was too late to back down. Gojo's hand reached to his blindfold, one blue eye peeks at you. "Alright, good luck then." The blindfold snapped back on, his attention returned quickly to his phone.

"Good luck then," you mutter to yourself, walking back through the darkening corridors to your room, "Good luck then, huh?" It's been over five years now since you've first arrived in Jujutsu High, was good luck then all that he could say? What a fucking -

"Emergency!" A voice rang through the building. Oh god, what now? With your eyes set on your room to wallow the evening in your newly made terrible decision. "Someone! Please!" Your legs carried you before your reasoning did. Through the curves of the hallways, straight to the first-year's rooms. "It's Yuji," Kugisaki looked at you, panting, "He tried to pet Megumi's divine dog. I don't think the dog liked it." Yuji held out his arm. After a thorough inspection, it was just a scary looking graze on his forearm. He muttered to Nobara it wasn't much to fuss about, the blood smearing on the sleeve of his uniform. "It's nothing bad, we'll tend to it any way to avoid an infection," you prompted him to get up from his seat, "I think Shoko's still in the infirmary."

You sat on the infermary bed, with Yuji already on his way back to his room you'd found the time to share your troubles. Shoko sighed, fumbling for a lighter through the things on the tray next to her. "Shoko, I'm going to Kyoto." She lit her cigarette, the smell of smoke suffocating the small room. "That's nice, when will you be back?" She asked, huffing smoke in the direction of the open window. "I don't think I'll be back for a while. Or at all, actually." She dragged a chair to the side of the bed, watching your fingers tap on the fabric.

"I wondered when you'll finally do that. You spoke to Satoru again, didn't you?" A sigh escaped her lips. She'd rarely admit to liking spending time with anyone, but the occasion seemed to call for it. "I'll miss you. That prick always thinks he's doing the right thing."

"I hardly think it's right to deny promotions from anyone for so long. He made sure I was so busy that I could hardly find the time to go on missions." Shoko weighed her words carefully, tapping carefully on the ashtray, removing the ash residue from her cigarette. "It's because he'd never tell you how scared he is for something to happen to you. It's still selfish, don't get me wrong there - but I think he's far too afraid of something happening that it has become easier for him to sabotage you. I told him repeatedly to stop but he just -" Her words cut off by a knock on the door.

"Ieri! You there?" Gojo's impatient knocking had turned frantic. "The lights are on, Shoko. Open up!" Your eyes shot up at Shoko, speak of the devil. The handle turned lightly. Gojo entered the room, turning straight to Shoko, not even looking at your direction. You'd managed to quickly find an excuse to leave, struggling to believe that's the same man who'd do anything out of concern for you. You closed the door, fingers lingering on the round handle, thinking how wrong it would be to eavesdrop while pressing your ear to the door.

"You know she's really leaving, right?" Shoko's distant voice lectured. "That's on you for acting selfish, Gojo." As you thought, he said nothing. Quickly diverting the conversation to something relating to a mission, another one you weren't supposed to be a part of. Perhaps it was wrong to eavesdrop. You stepped away from the door to turn to the direction of your room. Finally, some good wallowing time.

By the next morning, you've already made all the necessary calls. Wishing somehow it would be harder to convince the higher-ups of your sudden move, but it seemed that help was welcome anywhere, and work always needed to be done. Your bags half packed, you were almost ready to say the sudden goodbyes to the students. The nostalgic look on every part of your room had already taken over, the final time of staring at that crack on the ceiling, the final time of covering that old coffee stain on the nightstand with a small glass whale statuette Gojo brought from one of his trips. Perhaps it's better to leave it there.

You gathered your nerves, opening the door, just to watch the tall white haired man pace from side to side in the hallway. "Did I forget something?" Your hand held the door open. He jumped up a bit from the sudden voice. His pacing slowed, he took a step towards you, you gulped at the narrowing distance between your bodies. "I - spoke to Shoko. I think I got carried away, you don't have to leave on my account." The words felt empty as he said them, Shoko must have chewed him out well yesterday. "You know Go-," You inhaled, "Satoru, not everything happens because of you." His dropped his sunglasses further down on the bridge of his nose, his blue eyes piercing through you. You hardly ever saw him without his blindfold, his stare sending shivers down your spine. "Shoko was quite adamant it's all my fault, So I thought I better -"

You laughed, "Shoko was also quite adamant that all this time you just cared about me, so I guess even smart people can be wrong sometimes." He puzzled over your answer. "But I do." His hand brushes through his hair, just for it to fall over his eyes again. "Funny," you snarl, he studies your expression silently. You've taken advantage of that silence to continue, "So all these years you were just protecting me from dying? I thought sorcerers had accepted that fate when walking in here." "Some things are worse than death," A solemn look takes hold of his face, you could have sworn the color of his eyes darkened. "Do you take me for such a weakling?" Your tone of voice already deeming the conversation as pointless. "I never said that. I think you care, perhaps too much. I would never want to see you sacrifice yourself over anything." The joyless tone of voice was far from his usual demeanor.

"Well, now you wouldn't have to see me at all." Your nerves had gotten the best of you. You hardly meant to say it, but as the words were spat out of our mouth, it seemed inappropriate to back off this course of action. "You're not listening to me, (Y/N)" He could hardly cover how irritated he was, his hand gripped your forearm, pushing you towards him. His breath stroked your face, "I would never want something to happen to you, but you seem to be pushing towards it all the time. Aren't you happy with the students? Why do all of you have to go running around searching for burdens to carry when you don't have to?" His fist contracts tighter around your arm. His teeth clench to stop another flow of words he'd regret later on.

"Satoru, who's all of us?" In your voice a sense of shame, an empty pit has formed down at the bottom of your stomach, his eyes still fixed upon you. The same feeling of being scorned as a child, a tough love you'd thought would pass you by at this age. "Are you not happy?" he questions you again, you wiggle your arm as a sign of pain, even as he lets it go you still feel the marks that his fingers left there. "I am, It's just that -" He couldn't let you go on for a second longer, his lips pressing firmly against yours, your breath sucked away by his tongue. A long minute passed, your hand had found a happy place inside his hair, his arms had restricted your movement and emitted safety all together.

Just as he'd stopped for a breath, you'd decided it'd be far too hard to continue the conversation if this went on. "I'd like to not be hindered, Satoru," you wiped the wetness of your lips with your sleeve, "Nobody comes to Jujutsu-High to be protected, they come to protect. If I can't do it when you're there, I'll go." You watched his face change, his mind racing behind the sunglasses. "You can do it here," A piece of sadness was left in an otherwise tranquil voice. "Good." Your smile had reminded him to breathe. "Now," you mused, "Would you mind kissing me like you're angry again?" His laughter lifted the tension from your body,

"Oh - Dirty," The familiar smirk had settled down the final waves of emotion.

-

"Not a word, Shoko." you pleaded to her again. "If you don't want the school talking about it, then don't have your arguments in the hall." She took a long drag from her smoke, "Would you mind kissing me like you're angry again?" She imitates you silently, chuckling under her breath. "Shoko, I'm begging you!" 

[ddollfface]

𝐀 𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐉𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐲

𝙆𝙞𝙮𝙤𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙞 𝙆𝙖𝙩𝙤𝙪 𝙔𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣𝙨 (𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙩 1.)

Warnings; reader is a girl, yandere behaviors, misogyny, groping, letters/stalking, Kiyosumi is just an asshole, obsessive thoughts/idealizations, ngl this is a little rushed, bad writing, and me rambling some more :) If I missed anything, then please let me know ♡ Heyy, this is part two for the Kiyosumi headcanons. I'm still so confused as to why there's a word limit on Tumblr, nor do I know how I'm exceeding it?? Like I swear I've seen other authors go far pass what I'm writing (?). I don't know man... but we live on anyways :/

The second type of reader I can see Kiyosumi with is a spit-fire darling, someone who doesn't take any shit, and will call you out on it. She may or may not have some anger issues, willing to scream in your face if she thinks you've disrespected her (or someone she's close to). I like to think of this darling as an enemies-to-lovers troupe, and this darling is likely a fighter of some sort, bonus points if she practices karate.

Now, Kiyosumi originally hates you, absolutely wanting nothing than to tear you into pieces, pound his fist into your face.

Everything about you pisses him off, down to your stupidly soft hair, your firey eyes, your smooth skin, and god dammit, your muscles look abnormally nice today-

Okay, he may have a thing for you, but what can he say? You're a girl in the martial arts world, something that's not common whatsoever. And you're mildly attractive, just a pretty thing to look at, that's what he thinks anyway.

Kiyosumi will try to degrade you, saying that you're just a trophy wife, some inclusion hire, or some crap, anything to push off his feeling for you. He hates that he finds you attractive, strong, and all the things. He's jealous. He wants to be you, you, you.

Why do you get all the recognition? What does Doppo fawn over you, congratulating you on your success, teaching you new things? Why didn't he get that same treatment? It just isn't fair, he's just as good as you, no, he's better, stronger even.

Kiyosumi is no doubt a misogynist, someone who doesn't respect women on the level he should. He doesn't believe that women should be in the martial arts world, something about how they're far too weak, not capable enough to survive in that type of environment (if you're wondering, I think majority of the fighters have this type of sentiment, some more than others).

So imagine his surprise when he sees you waltzing into the arena/dojo, or whatever fighting environment the two of you are in. At first, he laughs, not beliving his eyes, then he's taken aback, eyes blown wide when you take down your opponet with ease. Now his ears are bright red, completely embarrassed that you clearly surpass him strength-wise.

I'm not too sure if you know this quote, but I first heard of it from this Holocaust survivor named Elie Wiesel, and he stated, "The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference..." I believe that to be immensely true, especially in this situation with a yandere Kiyosumi!

His hatred quickly turns into this selfish want, into a need to prove himself to you and keep you for himself. Though his thoughts were already twisted; how can they not? Especially when all he could think was how much better you'd look with your face crushed in, his hands bloody, and your legs contorted in all which ways (not like that). Nothing better than to see that kind smile wiped from your face, replaced with tear-stained cheeks and puffy eyes. Yeah... he likes that far better.

But what is he supposed to think when those dark desires become... warped. Now, when he thinks of you, he thinks of how pretty you'd look covered in... him, not blood, but something different. He begins to think you're pretty, not just covered in blood, with teary eyes, but in a sundress with your hair up. Not only that, but he stops cringing whenever you smile, instead, he thinks that the way your eyes crinkle is pleasing to the mind, or how your hair frames your face nicely. Your fighting style isn't stupid anymore. Now it's fuckin' awesome! And how dare those other men even glance at you while you look so badass? Who do they think they are? Do they think they even have a chance with a babe like you? Hell no, that's for him, him, him.

Oh boy, and when you meet Katsumi? Sheesh, that's when things go downhill. Kiyosumi is now paranoid, obsessing over you, you, you. Everything you do is monitored by Kiyosumi, whether you know so or not, wanting to know what you're doing at every waking moment. Kiyosumi has strayed from his original intentions. His feelings for you become warped as he slowly drifts further and further away from reality.

If you really think about it, Kiyosumi is like Katsumi but far grosser. Actually, I take that back. As yanderes, Kiyosumi and Katsumi are on the same level, but Katsumi hides behind this boy-next-door mask, allowing himself to get away with far more. Kiyosumi doesn't have that privilege, so he turns to... unorthodox methods of courting you.

Now you have these creepy ass fotos of you appearing at your work, doorstep, hell, even your purse! They're everywhere, and all you know is that it's from "K...", as your stalker titles it. (Kiyosumi is drunk out of his mind when he sends you these little letters, meaning his penmanship isn't the best... half the time he can't even write his whole name, leading to the K to be pronounced, but the rest of the letters to turn into scribbles lol)

Not only that, but now you feel like you're being watched, like there's a pair of eyes always on you, especially when you're taking a shower... creepy. It's as if there's some kind of shadow always looming over you, causing others to steer clear of you, not wanting to have to do anything with your stalker. It's as if he's right next to you.

And you have a hinting suspicion that it's Katou, seeing as he can't keep a straight face with you, baring his heart on his sleeve. Besides, you can't help but feel unwary whenever he's around.

He stands far too close to you, taking every chance to spare with you, touch you, smell you. Yeah... let's just say you've beaten his ass once or twice. The guy just won't take a hint! Now, it's beginning to piss you off, and you're just about ready to give him a piece of your mind!

Like who does this guy think he is? Touching you as if he has the right? Letting his hands wander down your thighs when you're just supposed to be having a friendly match, does he think you're going to let that slide? Yeah right! His advances just make you punch harder, and him fall deeper.

It's an endless cycle that's coming to a climax rapidly. This onesided romance is just brewing tension between the two of you, one is romantic, and definitely sexual, while the other one is spewing vile hatred.

Kiyosumi doesn't even take a hint when you scream in his face, telling him to fuck off. All he does is adjust his pants and grin, loving how heated you're getting, which just encourages your anger more.

He wants you to keep running your mouth. Yeah, get mad at him, yell at him, tell him how much you hate him. God, it really gets him hard when you talk to him like that, sweets. Don't you know you have quite the mouth? Don't worry, babe, he knows you love 'em, just give it time, time is all he needs.

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

walburga and sirius.

(i threw this together instead of sleeping/studying.)

when walburga is thirteen she has thought of her first born's name and when it is improbable for her to conceive she wants to rip out her skin. she takes every potion under the sky and all but imperio-s her husband.

when her womb grows she cant bare hiding it, she wants everyone everyone everyone to know how precious precious precious the child growing inside her was and she doesnt care what people say and when she holds sirius for the first time she thinks his fate is the stars and he shines brighter than them all when she nurses him she says every sweet thing she never heard and when he's ill for the first time she forgets her name and how to breathe

when he cries she screams and silencio-s him. it's only because it hurts her to see her baby upset.

walburga loves sirius so much she hates him , she sees herself in sirius and she nurtures it , she sees her father in sirius and pushes him away , sirius is hers and she is sirius' , sirius knows her better than anyone (orion is afraid of her and he should be , regulus is young & too much like his father , alphard is a pest , she has to keep too many appearances up with cygnus), sirius is perfect perfect perfect she favors him shamelessly he is cunning and charming and witty and brave and ambitious and good looking he is everything everything everything a man should be and she forgets her husband for her son so she can feel some semblance of companionship in her life

sirius doesnt rebel.

he doesnt he doesnt he doesnt so why is he? he is good and he shit-talks people who deserve it so why why why is he yelling at walburga that morning no no no this . this is her baby this is her star the brightest the brightest the brigh why does he scream like she does and walk away the same way he's not like her he is better he is supposed to surpass her surpass them al .

she tries to help him . she's gentle , she never cuts too deep she always makes sure he's mobile she makes sure he knows how much it hurts her because she's not a bad mother she is good she is exceptionally good and lenient and gentle and cygnus thinks she's stupid but what does he know? andromeda is having an affair, he should focus on his own children.

but sirius sirius sirius he goes to hogwarts and she feels as if her soul has been ripped in two she feels she feels she feels so much that she doesnt see anyone for days

maybe she's too harsh but she loves him she loves him so much she doesn't even scar him when he comes home no matter how much orion anyone says he deserves it because her baby's home he's home he's

when she leaves again orion says she has regulus too and she tells him she knows but he isnt sirius

her son stops visiting and she misses him every christmas and birthday and thanksgiving and easter and new year's and

when sirius angry, he screams and walburga screams louder still because why is he angry? what did she do wrong? nothing, she thinks, nothing. hogwarts has made sirius small, his filthy friends have tainted sirius and she wishes she could chain him to the foot of her bed so he knows how much he means to her.

sirius mentions something about andromeda not being so bad and walburga wants to kill cygnus

he grows taller than her, her voice grows deeper and louder and walburga feels threatened when he yells, now, and she cant she cant she cant because that's her baby.

he was in her. he was in her. he was her.

he's starting to look like her father. she strikes him for it. why was he torturing her?

she's going mad, and it's not . it can't be because of sirius.

she clings closer to regulus when sirius stops appearing for holidays. she grips his arm too tight and she fixes his posture with more venom but it's only because sirius was born perfect . walburga never did have to teach him , did she?

when sirius is back for fourth year she is scared and angry and she tells him off and she tells him everything he does wrong and he looks at her like he hates her

walburga doesn't know what she's doing till sirius is screaming . mom mom mom im sorry im sorry im sor

she's not bad. she's not evil. sirius is simply misguided. (alphard said he liked him, that once. maybe he had a talk with him. maybe she should kill alphard for taking her boy away.)

after hogwarts, she will fix him again and he will be hers and she will be his

sirius comes home from christmas in his fifth year.

walburga never wants to let him go. sirius never wants to, either.

that summer break, he leaves.

he doesn't return.

she screams till her mouth is of blood and she curses each healer who tells her to calm down

how can she, when sirius isnt here and he never will be ever ever again

.

she clings to regulus, he's not in his room anymore

she looks to her husband and he's not there anymore

she's bitter and mad and no one visits her anymore

she is full of bitterness . she tells every portrait and every bird. she tells kreacher. when sirius appears in her dressing room mirror she tells him she hates him for what he did to her

blood traitor. had she not sent him to that bloody school, had he never interacted with those plebs, he would be hers. and she would be someone's. (for once.)

[belit0]

Itachi x reader age gap? Where yn is Sasuke's friend

For legal reasons, let's say that both sasuke and the reader are already 18 mkay?🤠🤠🙌🏻

(Y/N) sits on the ground in the same forest they used to practice in all those years ago, leaning on her arms and boredly watching Sasuke perform that kunai trick he had worked so hard to learn. It seems like yesterday when he was complaining to her about how his older brother ignored him, claiming that he was probably afraid he was better than him or would surpass him.

Paradoxically, the second strongest Uchiha in the entire nation finds himself obsessed with a stunt he managed to master years ago, having learned more grandiose and powerful techniques, but unable to stop executing this skill in his spare time for being attached to the past.

Finally, and after passing the age of fifteen, Itachi had deigned to tell him how to do it, and since then, he never stopped demonstrating it in front of everyone with pride. (Y/N) observes, for the eighth time, just to please him, but the thought never leaves her mind.

It's been a while since she last crossed paths with her childhood sweetheart, this one now being a busy Jonin with his new little team of Genins, and no time to waste. He also stepped up as leader of the Uchiha clan, his family's demand for him being immense. He had declined the position of Hokage, urging either Shisui or Kakashi should be the ones to take the position, preferring to teach the younger ones.

Uchiha Itachi became a figure to admire and respect, a proper man, who manages to make her salivate just thinking about his eyes, his hair, his hands, the way his abdomen is-.

"(Y/N)! What the fuck dude! Did you even see how I did it?" A kunai lands right next to her, and the surprise of a sudden threat awakens her from her fantasies. Sasuke, dressed in his ANBU gear, looks at her with one hand on his waist and tilting his face to the side, analyzing her expressions.

"You finally mastered it, Sasuke."

They both look in the same direction, the Uchiha turning his head and (Y/N) looking up towards the man sitting on a branch of the tallest tree, watching the interaction from above. Itachi smiles at his younger brother, and jumps down to the ground, joining the interaction.

"I got the hang of this a while ago, nii-san, what do you even mean?"

"Your movements were still jerky, too much wrist, too much momentum... you're doing better."

"Shut the fuck up." Humiliated Sasuke folds his arms, as a sheepish smirk escapes him and walks in the opposite direction, having decided his display concludes "Let's go, (Y/N). Our mission is almost begun."

The younger Uchiha disappears into the foliage, and when she feels he is far enough away to not hear the interaction she plans to have with his older brother, she gets up from the ground and proceeds with the heavy weapons.

"So, Itachi... you're looking good today..." The Jonin stops looking at the spot where the ANBU disappeared, and focuses his attention on her. With a half smile, he looks down at her from his height, long hair flowing in the unrestrained breeze.

"Why are you blinking like that with your eyes? Is everything ok (Y/N)?" He asks, in a mixture of sarcasm and affection. He folds his arms in front of her, and waits for her to speak, not needing to say anything.

"That was supposed to be a wink!" (Y/N) brings her hands to her face, inadvertently knocking the ANBU mask that hangs over the top of her head like a hat and causing it to fall to the ground.

"It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line." Itachi picks it up for her, handing it over and smiling with genuine tenderness. He appreciates the girl's efforts, but she is still his brother's best friend.

"Come on, Itachi, help me out a little..."

"Next time, (Y/N)" He taps his forehead with two fingers, and instantly disappears.

She stands frozen in place, unable to believe the Uchiha deigned to touch her, the same gesture he has for his younger brother, and this must mean he loves her, right? Yeah... sure.

[queenofthelanternfish]

Hi! I wanted to ask you a few questions about Odessa... :3

1- Is she innocent? If so, she is very

2- How did they discover her autism?

3- Does she do any kind of martial arts?

4- Does she draw well?

5- Does she go to school? If so, what is she like at school?

6- Is she gifted?

7-What are the signs that she is angry?

8- What is her reaction when she gets something she really wants?

9- How tall are you? And your weight..?

10- Is she hiding something from Entrapta and Hordak?

11- As a hybrid, how was your puberty?

12- Is your adult life difficult?

13- Does she have a boyfriend or girlfriend?

14- Does she speak another language?

15- How does Entrapta treat Odessa and how does Hordak treat her?

hi! sorry for taking a bit, I finally have the time to answer these so here I am!

1) honestly, she's not! she's legally banned on several planets and has a tendency to take her research to unethical degrees in the name of progress. while her methods can be questionable, the results of her research speak for themselves, and there's a good reason she eventually creates her own medical empire.

2) honestly, it's never formally diagnosed because it was never regarded as an issue for her or her family. it was likely suspected when she was a toddler though since she was nonverbal for the first 3 years of her life, and only spoke in sign language.

3) yes, she was trained young to fight and knows multiple forms of martial arts.

4) nope! she can't draw, she could if she wanted to but has no interest lol

5) she graduated college at 16, and has multiple degrees. she is a star student, if not to an almost annoying degree because she can easily surpass her teachers despite being so young. her peers range from respecting her and following her around to being resentful and skeptical that someone so young- a half breed no less- can be so knowledgeable and advanced.

6) extremely gifted. see above.

7) the first sign is she'll go completely silent, giving a very severe death stare. if you look closely at her, you can even see her whole body shake with rage.

8) probably would happy stim, little hand claps and the like, a little squeal too if she's feeling particularly excited!

9) are you... talking about me or odessa? if you mean odessa, she starts off as 5'7" in her later teen years and about 150 pounds. as she gets older, she continues to grow until she reaches 7'3" and about 220 pounds. if you mean me, I'm not disclosing that.

10) yes

11) she technically went through two puberties. her first was like that of any human, growth spurts, voice change, maturing figure, all of this happens around 12-13 years old. when she hits her 30s, she goes through another growth spurt, stronger bone density, stronger immune system, increased durability, etc..

12) is my adult life difficult?? I mean, yes and no, I suppose? if you mean odessa's adult life, it starts off pretty nice but as her long lifespan becomes more of a detriment than a gift, it becomes increasingly difficult and numbing. she loses a lot of people she loves throughout her life, and her only constant is her work.

13) she has a boyfriend and a girlfriend throughout her story.

14) she knows multiple alien languages in order to upkeep with her rapidly growing empire of planets.

15) entrapta treats odessa very lovingly! she gives odessa a lot of independence, but isn't afraid to give her baby lots of hugs and kisses when she can. entrapta also has hallways upon hallways of portraits of odessa throughout her life. while her daughter is a little embarrassed about all the portraits, she loves her mother very much and will defend her at all costs. odessa is entrapta's favorite science project! for hordak, he is more subdued with his affections towards her, but the small gestures say a lot and she is incredibly close with her father and respects him a lot. he also gives her a lot of independence, but also wishes her to be safe, teaching her how to fight, and not wanting her to be discriminated for being a half clone hybrid. he is extremely protective of her well-being, and simply wants his little girl to flourish despite the obstacles ahead of her.

[i-just-like-goats]

Gojo x Fem Reader

Summary: part 2 to the "where Gojo's soulmate is an assassin sent to kill him"

Warnings: none that I can think of

WC: 1.4k

Main Masterlist

"So. How are you finding Jujutsu Tech?"

"And my day's automatically ruined," 

You put down your pen as Gojo dragged a chair to sit next to you. 

"If you must know, the students are, on the whole, well behaved. Kugisaki and Itadori lack focus at times but Fushiguro gives them a look and they're back on track. Despite my first impressions of Panda and Maki, they are both dedicated to Jujutsu sorcery. Inumaki hasn’t given me a strong impression yet, but he's diligent," 

"I asked for how you felt about teaching, not a report on how the students are getting on. I know the students but I don't know you," 

"It should stay that way," 

"So cold. I'm shivering," 

Gojo watched as you gathered up the paper strewn around your desk. 

"Notes on the students? You're thorough aren't you?" 

You made no reply and walked straight to the door. Gojo tugged on the red string attached to your smallest finger, prompting you to turn to him exasperatedly. 

"You know, you could make this whole thing a lot easier and more enjoyable if you loosen up a little and actually form relationships with the people around you. But, knowing you, you'll ignore my advice and carry on the way you always have," 

It was a harsh truth, but you knew it to be true. As much as Gojo got on your nerves, he did have a point. But they'd all end up dying anyway, including you. So trivial matters like friendships mattered not to you. 

"I'll see you tomorrow," 

With a sigh, Gojo rubbed his temples. There really was no convincing you. He'd tried his hardest. He greeted you with a smile every morning, he invited you out to eat with him, he gave you tips, he offered to train with you, but it was all for nought. Nothing he did could change your cold attitude. 

Perhaps it was time for him to give up. 

The next morning, you started your day as usual. Nothing was out of the ordinary. Except for the lack of Gojo's upbeat voice ringing in your ears. Good. He finally got the hint. Now you could enjoy the peace and quiet. 

"Ms Y/N," 

"Yes?" 

"It's been an hour and you've still not come to our lesson," 

"Maki, I don't take your morning lessons. Gojo does," 

"Well he said that you knew you'd be taking over for all lessons today," 

She made it a point to look at Gojo's desk. You stood up and walked over to his desk to see a note informing you that he'd gone on a mission and wouldn't be back for a week. 

"I suppose he did. Let's go. I'll help you with close range combat," 

It never failed to surprise you whenever you fought Maki. A grade 4 sorcerer with her skill? It must be some sort of sick joke. The first time you fought her, you were sure that Gojo was pulling your leg, but her grade 4 status was genuine. 

She adapted well to your attacks and her agility far surpassed yours. You tapped her head with your stick. 

"Much better than yesterday. You're a quick learner, but you've still got a tad too many openings whenever you counter my attacks. Just keep that in mind," 

"Understood," 

"Inumaki there isn't much I can do to help you with your cursed technique, so spar with Maki for now while I think of something as I work with Panda," 

They both gave you a thumbs up and walked off to another section of the grounds to spar. Panda waved at you as he walked over. You nodded in acknowledgement and he smiled back. His smile was cute. You couldn't believe your eyes when Gojo first introduced you to a talking Panda, but you’ve grown to respect him.

"You ready?" 

"Sure am!"

Soon enough your time to teach the first years drew nearer, so you dismissed the second year's, promising Inumaki that you'd work with him tomorrow.

"Hi Ms Y/N!"

Itadori, as usual, greeted you with his usual smile. You found your eyes softening for just a moment. It was nice to be smiled at. You slowly rubbed your pinkie finger, it seemed strangely colder than usual.

"Hello Itadori. Fushiguro. Kugisaki,"

Itadori didn't seem to deflate at all despite your much less enthusiastic reply, much like someone you knew. He still was happily ready to learn from you. As a vessel for the King of Curses, his cheery nature always puzzled you. How could such an upbeat boy have the King of Curses residing in him? These students were special. 

"Thank you for teaching us today!"

"You're welcome Itadori,"

Kugisaki and Fushiguro thanked you much more quietly. They openly stared at your hand.

“What’s wrong with my hand? You've all been staring awfully hard at it”

“You’ve been fiddling with your pinkie finger this whole time,” Kugisaki replied.

Widening your eyes, you hastily separated your hands and dismissed the first years.

7 days passed by quickly, but each day you fiddled more and more with your pinkie. It just kept getting colder.

“Ms Y/N you seem to have developed a habit of playing with your pinkie,” Maki remarked.

“Really? I hadn’t noticed,”

You glanced at the first and second years seated in front of you, writing down notes about weak points that you wrote on the board, but quickly settled back into staring out of the window.

“Gojo’s coming back today, so maybe you should stop looking so worried,” Panda said.

“I’m not worried about that blindfolded idiot,”

Everyone in the room excluding you exchanged knowing looks.

“Why do you hate Gojo so much?” Itadori piped up.

“I don’t hate him. I just find him to be insufferable,”

“Is that why you longingly stare into space with a sad face? Do you miss him?”

The whole class gaped at Itadori’s question. It was one thing to subtly hint at the obvious tension between their teachers, but it was out of the question to ever allude to it directly to you.

“It’s ok Ms Y/N, I miss him too!”

You sighed, and simply nodded absentmindedly. Disagreeing with Itadori was a hard thing to do, even for you.

“Don’t you all look glum. I know Y/N’s not as fun as me, but geez you guys look miserable,”

“Gojo!” They all chorused.

In unison, they all stood up to greet him. You smiled softly, and stood up slowly to make your exit and allow them some time with Gojo. A small tug on your pinkie had you stopping momentarily, allowing Gojo to flash a smile at you. Sighing, you shook your head and left the classroom to sit in the staff room. 

It felt warm again.

“Missed me?”

You scowled at Gojo.

“I’m surprised the kids let you go,”

“The kids. They encouraged me to find you,”

Gojo took a step closer to you, making you aware of the fact that you were playing with your pinkie again.

“I missed your scowl, but I wish you would smile some more,”

You parted your lips ready to retort something back, but Gojo had already left. And the cold feeling returned.

"No good morning greeting?"

"Why? Do you miss it?"

"As if,"

Gojo shrugged and you continued to write up your lesson plan. You heard hushed voices whispering outside the classroom door.

"I can hear you, you know. Get to class, Gojo's going to be taking your morning class soon,"

A few feet padded past the door as your students scurried to get to their lesson.

“Hey that tickles you know,”

“What?”

With his signature smile, Gojo gestured to your pinkie then to his own.

“You twiddling with the string gives me a ticklish feeling. Are you perhaps warming up to me?”

“In your dreams,”

And like always, you immediately stopped playing with the string. You felt a tug on your pinkie. It felt cold again. Why was the cold feeling returning?

“I’ll see you later,”

As usual, you made no reply and continued sifting through your papers. 

After what felt like hours of being hunched at your desk, you decided to take a walk to clear your mind. The warm feeling in your pinkie returned, but only slightly. What was going on with the temperature changes? Was it a sign of Gojo’s life dwindling away? No. That couldn’t be it.

He’s the strongest sorcerer in the world.

“Ms Y/N!”

A/N: I hate cliff hangers too, but the fic was getting longer than expected, sorry lol. Part 3 is coming dw :D

[tallbluelady]

Prompts! they didn't care about me, but you did.

"Is there anything you've learned of Hermes here in Elpis that gives credence to what has been told to you in the future?" Venat asked as they waited for Galene to speak to them.

"He seems to be very intelligent, and kind. But what worries me is that Hermes is so... alone, Venat," Rowan said.

"You yourself are wont to spend time in solitude, are you not? Our society often allows our members to seclude themselves in their duties. But we welcome them with open arms when they return to us. We celebrate their discoveries. We discuss what they've learned and what they have yet to teach us. The joy in welcoming someone back is part of the reason I stay on."

"I-I don't think Hermes has been 'welcomed' in a long time... He's so isolated from anyone he could call a peer that he claimed I was one."

"Are you not?" Venat tilted her head and smiled. "You've proven to me that you are."

Rowan smiled shyly and looked away. She felt as though her words weren't going to catch hold on Venat, that while she believed Rowan about the future, she was more certain about the present than Rowan could ever be. But now I know that I'm not alone. Not the only one for whom flowers weep.

She shook her head. "It's just... I merely related to him emotionally. I sought to comfort him for Meteion's sake. I know not if he self-imposes his isolation, but he was so convinced of his unique situation..."

"You're worried that we're not caring for him as a society?"

"Exactly. Or at least not listening to him. Isolation can lead a heart to dark paths. I've seen it change an honest man into a liar, though it tears into him. But with help, he changed - and the world is so much brighter for it. "

Venat gave a familiar, knowing sort of smile her mother was wont to give Rowan. "Emet-Selch hardly gives you credit for calling you Azem's familiar, Rowan. Your love of others surpasses even hers."

Rowan gave an exasperated sigh to that. "It shouldn't take that much love to reach him. A non-judgemental ear would do Hermes more good than a broken heart like mine."

"It is your broken heart that allows you to relate to him, Rowan. It is a strength that not many have. And far fewer would have the insight to realize it is a strength."

"You're not the first one to tell me that..."

"Did it come from your reformed liar?" Venat's brilliant blue eyes twinkled at that.

Rowan snorted. "You're worse than my mother."

"I'm enjoying my time reading you, Rowan, comparing you to Azem. How anyone could even think that you were a familiar! We may have great control over creation magicks, but the depth and complexity of your soul could only be forged in experience. And what an experience you've had!"

Rowan turned her head to the door from where Galene was supposed to arrive. "And like you, Venat, I'd like to continue my experience."

"Then enjoy this one with me. A delightful breeze... and a breathtaking view."

They turned to watch the river flow far below them as the sun set on Elpis.

[idontexistforcontext]

Guys I don’t thing you quite understand ARO SPEC LILY??

Lily evans; she’s ached for someone to love someone the way James seems to love her but it’s never felt quite right so surely his affections were a sham (an annoying one at that when he just never gets the hint), she knows that romantic love is supposed to be magical and perfect and something unmatched to the familial love she knows

Lily evans; the girl who was doomed to not have her sisters or brother (why couldn’t petunia understand magic was never something that should have sent them apart, but now has lest she puts her sister in danger? Why did she and Mary stop really talking when she became reluctant friends with James potter? Why had mary’s family been murdered, why had they drifted apart in a war? Why had Severus turned his back on her, on them, to join a facist group searching for more violence?) who she loved so dearly but was never truly reciprocated in the same way

Lily evans; who couldn’t fathom that it was really her closest friends who have been doomed to romantically fall in love with her despite it being unrequited, but loving them nonetheless

Lily evans; choosing James bc it’s what ‘makes sense’ as a woman back in the 70s, they’re entering the chaotic world of adulthood while their society is on the cusp of war and she’s a minority and who knows what might happen, and he’s been waiting for so long so she can’t just ice him out bc then she’s heartless and a heartbreaker and that’s not true

Lily potter; she loves and she loves deeply so surely James’ love can teach her that she can grow to love him the same way she’s always dreamed of loving someone because she knows she capable of loving so much she just needs to know how it feels in these trying times where her friends her getting hurt and dying and she can’t do anything about it but be terrified and love them through it all

Lily potter; a mother, a young one at that, and she’ll never regret harry (her darling boy her whole world who has taught her another love incomparable to her platonic love), but sometimes she can’t help but wonder what would have happened if she never chose James and there was never a war and could just be lily evans, brightest witch of her age

Lily potter; the girl, barely a woman, who never quite got there in the end, but her love never ran dry. No, her love was devotion, devotion to her family, her darling son. A love that ran so strongly it surpassed even the forces of death, overpowering a great evil borne of no true love and befuddling the world. Because in the end, romantic love isn’t everything. Lily evans, brightest witch of her age, who loved and has been loved and who will always love; just not in that way.

[pluckyredhead]

Green Arrow #1 (2023)

I promised to yell my feelings about this issue so here! Are! My feelings!!!

Spoilers beneath the cut, obviously. Also, I won’t be including scans since I want to encourage people to buy this comic. It’s already selling so well that it was expanded from a 6 issue miniseries to 12 issues before the first issue even came out - if sales stay strong, maybe we can get an ongoing!

First off, love Sean Izaakse’s art so so so much, I adore his designs for the characters and the way he makes them move. Roy and Connor’s new looks are a little busy but I forgive him because they have such lustrous hair. (Though I still long for a Connor with a curl pattern.)

Starting with Ollie hitting on Dinah while barely conscious? A+. Also, the bit where he realizes he’s on an island again and is like “HOW DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME???” made me laugh out loud.

I’m not going to lie, on the first double page spread, I’m...not sure why Doomsday is there? Or whose arm is sticking up out of the rubble? Does anyone know?

Why on earth would Dinah call Connor “Hawke?” That line felt really weird to me. Izaakse has been calling him that on Twitter so idk if they’re trying to rebrand him that way or what. Are they making it his new codename? I guess it’s slightly less dumb than “Drake.”

Also, I love the flashback panel of Roy and Connor with their arms around each other, but I am very tired of this thing DC has been doing lately where we see the aftermath of big moments and not the big moment itself. I suppose I shouldn’t complain considering that they nailed the most important reunion in this issue, but I really would have liked to see Connor’s reunions with Roy and Dinah, especially considering that Emiko and Dinah both had basically zero reaction to learning that Roy wasn’t dead. (And in that vein, I’d like to see an actual conversation with Ollie about Connor being ace and not just a flashback panel that’s like “I told my dad, and he was great about it! This will only be addressed annually in Pride issues from now on!” Bonus points for Ollie being very supportive but not 100% getting it and getting a chance to learn.)

JASON SAID THE VAN HAD FINGERPRINTS THAT MATCHED. ROY’S LEAD CAME FROM JASON. Jason and Roy are another set of characters where we were robbed of a good, satisfyingly emotional reunion, but in the single solitary panel we were given of the two of them together, Jason did say he would find Lian, AND HE KEPT HIS PROMISE. Can we please stop discoursing about whether or not he is a good friend to Roy now?

Ollie says that Roy is the greatest marksman in the world and my heart grew three sizes. The last time this came up was 2006ish and it was contested, with the heavy implication that Roy would soon surpass Ollie. I guess he finally made it! I’M SO PROUD. (Although... Shado is the greatest marksperson in the world. I choose to believe that Ollie is using a gendered term deliberately, especially considering what he says to the Manhunter at the end of the issue. Anyway lololol get fucked Merlyn, enjoy being #4.)

“I may have taught Roy and Connor” what did you teach Connor, Ollie? Stop lying.

The flashback panel of Ollie and Dinah fighting back to back is! So! Good! Very Doc Shaner, which is always a compliment.

WHEN I TELL YOU I SCREAMED WHEN LIAN APPEARED

The first time I read this I wasn’t sure if they knew it was Lian, because obviously she’s a lot older than they would have expected. Rereading the panel where the family reacts hits different when you know: the dumbstruck look on Roy’s face! Dinah’s comforting hand on his shoulder! Connor saying “Good form” because he is a PROUD UNCLE! And his little smile on the next page as he wrangles the guy she shot HE THINKS SHE IS SO COOL.

I truly feared that they were going to let her go so Roy’s line, “You threw your first ninja star when you were two years old,” stopped my heart. And then Roy’s speech, besides being heartbreaking, is full of so many great details. I love that he has a sweet tooth and Lian doesn’t. I love the panel of them watching Point Break. I love that they remembered his missing arm in the flashback panel of him mourning Lian.

And on that note, the line “I don’t care how you’re here”...sometimes I get frustrated by DC’s refusal to try to logic their mangled continuity back together  because it feels lazy to me, but here I think it was handled really elegantly. Lian was five and dead and now she’s not; Roy was missing an arm and then he wasn’t and then he was dead and now he’s not. They don’t know why, they’ve accepted that their lives are weird, and they’ve moved on. What’s important to me is that this comic sets out very clearly what is canon and what the characters remember experiencing (short answer: everything, because Roy clearly remembers both pre-Flashpoint and the New 52), because that tells me how to understand their relationships and their choices. I don’t care how they got here either, I just want to know what they’ve lived through.

God, the way he just goes to his knees and gives her all the space in the world. Trusting that she will make the decision that’s right for her, even if it’s one that hurts him. Offering his love on her terms. It’s so perfectly Roy and exactly what Lian needs in that moment.

AND THEN THEY HUG AND I SOBBED FOR TEN MINUTES. Lol @ Izaakse signing this page like “Yeah. You’re welcome.”

AND THEN A FAMILY GROUP HUG. I appreciate the acknowledgement that Lian and Cheshire interacted in Catwoman, because I was so frustrated that nothing came of that.

“They’ll never let our family be together.” This is such a smart move! If you only have 6 (now 12!) issues to bring back Ollie AND Lian AND Connor AND Mia AND (I hope) bring Cissie into the fold for the first time, giving all of the various deaths/disappearances/continuity hiccups one unified source is a great way to fit them all into one story.

And then: DYSTOPIAN OLLIE!!! Dystopian Ollie is always a good move! Dystopian Ollie wants you to use gender neutral threats! Dystopian Ollie has a chainsaw arrow! I love Dystopian Ollie.

ANYWAY THAT WAS A GOOD COMIC AND I WANT THE NEXT ISSUE IMMEDIATELY, THE END.

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buddie Fanfics by Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

I write fanfics and post them on AO3 because that’s where CANON & FANON collide.  I get to have fun and incorporate CANON facts about Buck and Eddie into my FANON fiction writings about them. Find me on AO3 at Fanonwriter2023.

Fanfics currently available on AO3

The After Series - 60K words; Currently 7 Completed works: The After Series goes beyond the events that were shown in CANON by focusing on the intimate parts of Buck and Eddie's relationship from a FANON perspective. Each part within the series focuses on their possible off-screen interactions.

After the Ambulance - 4K words; Rated General Audiences:  Buck and Eddie return to the station after the ambulance explosion. Buck cooks for Eddie and they have their first of many real conversations as trusted partners.

After the Earthquake- 6K words; Rated General Audiences:  Buck drives Eddie to pick up Christopher from school, he then drives them home and Eddie’s heart is full of warmth when he sees his boys together for the first time.  Also, Maddie realizes that Buck is falling in love.

After Getting Stuck - 8.6K words; Rated General Audiences:  Buck drives Eddie to the hospital after Eddie’s abuela breaks her hip. Buck meets Eddie’s aunt Pepa and he starts to organize everything to help Eddie get permanent childcare for Christopher.

After Being Dosed - 7K words; Rated General Audiences:  Buck and Eddie help Maddie move into her new apartment, Eddie gets petty with Taylor Kelly after she flirts with Buck and Eddie tries to cook for Buck.

After Feeling Haunted - 4.2K words; Rated General Audiences:  Buck finally decides to let go of his ‘invisible girlfriend’ while Eddie misunderstands something that was said to him.

After Choosing Their Lives - 13.3K words; Rated Mature:  After everything that happened, Buck and Eddie are both finally single at the same time and they choose each other.

After the Well - 16.9K words; Rated Mature:  Buck and Eddie break down after the well incident and Eddie finally tells Buck something that Buck’s been wanting to hear for almost a year.  This fic is currently part 7 within the series but it will continuously be demoted until the series surpasses 3x15 “Eddie Begins”.

_____________________

Recent Works: One-Shot Fanfics - 85K words; 8 Completed works:  Fics about Buck and Eddie and The Buckley Diaz Family.

Let me love you - 3.3K words; Rated General Audiences:  Or Eddie doesn't think he deserves to be loved by Buck but he's wrong and Buck proves just how wrong he is.

Becoming the bad cop parent - 7.3K words; Rated General Audiences:  Or Buck gets a call from Christopher's school and for the first time he has to be the bad cop parent.

I love the way you heat things up in the kitchen - 4.2K words; Rated Mature:  Buck is supposed to be teaching Eddie how to bake a cake but they end up leaving the uncooked batter on the counter as things heat up between them.

Let’s go visit daddy! - 2.1K words; Rated General Audiences:  After a tough call, Eddie visits Buck at the firehouse.

You’re the youngest firefighter to ever make Captain within the LAFD! - 5.6K words; Rated General Audiences: Buck’s nervous about his first day as Captain of the 118 but Eddie’s there to encourage him because he knows Buck can do it.

“I gave you a son and a family!” -  60.6K words; Rated Mature:  Eddie tells Buck he already gave him a son and a family and Buck realizes he misunderstood but they stop talking after their argument and they won’t have time to fix it before they almost lose each other again.

“You’re my angel... oh angel” (Eddie prays) - 1.9K words; Rated General Audiences:  Eddie can’t lose Buck, his angel and the love of his life.  After Buck’s wheeled into the ER, Eddie goes to the hospital’s chapel to ask, no plead for him to live.

Chris talks to “his Buck” - 2.2K words; Rated General Audiences:  Chris talks to “his Buck/second dad” while Buck's in a coma.

[narrans]

The Orion's Daughter : To Lands Beyond | Chapter Six : Family Day

**~~~~~**

Chapter Six | Family Day

**~~~~~**

Two moons. It had been two moons since I began my tutoring with Mehlein Hohru, and I had to say that I was making leaps and bounds. From the beginning, Mehlein seemed like a stingy codger who had no interest in anything except returning to his life of being a hermit.

He constantly drilled me on things he taught me, repeating over and over that I needed to be able to recall everything at the drop of a hat without looking at my notes, which were not looking half bad. I learned the alphabet and how different words were supposed to be put together, so a lot of my scribblings were simple, but I would also make little sketches to jog my memory when I needed a reminder while studying by candlelight at home.

Mehlein refused to let me use my notes when he quizzed me though. He was viscous in his reminders that I needed to commit everything to memory. He had this menacing little sand glass that timed me and how fast I could write down different things. That device became the bane of my existence, forcing me to write faster and faster, making my letters wobbly and uneven, which would earn me another round of scolding and lecture.

It was only after when Steele reminded me that Mehlein was trying to not only teach me everything I would have already learned in school, but that he was trying to push me to surpass my peers and other kids my age, I suddenly felt a new form of respect for Mehlein and his teaching methods.

As frustrated as I became when I couldn’t remember something, I had to force myself to remember that it was because he was trying to make me better than the others. He was not doing this out of malice, as Steele said, but because he saw potential in me and knew I could handle the strain of work and pressure he was giving me.

That or he was able to make his cruelty seem like a helpful lesson.

I really wasn’t sure.

What I did know was that one day, while I was working, my mother came into the kitchen and wrapped her arms around me, sadly making my hand slip and smudge the letters I was practicing.

“Momma!” I cried, not meaning to whine. My mother immediately gasped, not realizing that I was busy working.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to mess up your practice. I just had a question for you, and then I’ll leave you be,” said my momma. She had on a light, flowy dress on and her thick, red curls were tied back into a low ponytail.

“It’s okay,” I muttered, scribbling through the letter I was working on, which happened to be “R” at the time. “What is your question?” There was one “R” in that sentence, and I smiled to myself thinking that I was remembering letters and was able to keep track of how many of them were in different words. It was a bit of a game Mehlein had me practicing, and it was working.

“Well, I know you have been working very hard recently, so I thought we should take the rest of the day today and have some fun. Steele made a very good suggestion and, once he is finished with his tasks, I am going to take him up on it and wanted to see if you wanted to come along,” said momma.

I looked at my countless tablets of pliable clay and leaf parchment where I was practicing my letters with charcoal. I thought for a moment about Steele and about what his sketches would look like if he were to use the same tools I was using. I thought about what a book his size would look like if I were to stand on it and how long it would take me to fill up an entire page with my piddly scratching and letter practice.

“Where are you going?” I asked her, tying back the thick hair my momma and I shared into a low set bun.

“The beach. He wants to walk along the sand and walk into the water,” said momma. The beach? The ocean? I couldn’t swim very well, but the thought of looking down into the bottomless depths and asking Steele if he knew what was really down there was too much of an opportunity for me to handle.

“Yes, I think that would be nice,” I said, smiling at my momma. “Do I need to bring anything?” She shakes her head, tossing her luscious red curls.

“Just change into some clothes you don’t mind getting wet and that won’t shrink when we dry in the sun,” smiled momma. She leaned forward, pressed her lips against my temple, and whisked herself away outside to undoubtedly collect something to eat later. I stared after her before turning back to my papers and tablets.

I decided to clean up my mess so that we could have dinner immediately when we returned and stashed everything away into my box that slid under the bed. I didn’t think I could learn anything else today anyway. The work felt busy, and I was just tracing the words and letters over and over to commit them to memory.

A break was going to be nice.

I slipped on a skirt and shirt that I knew would not shrink or weigh me down if I got wet and headed outside to wait with my mother by the garden beds. While we waited for Steele to return, I helped her weed and water the garden by going over to the well and drawing up water. I remembered what Steele said about leveling and pipes and, for a moment, thought about trying to draw up the water and making pipes like Steele did, but I would save that project for a later time.

Meanwhile, I watched as my momma used the same irrigation techniques as Steele did in the fields on one of the days I accompanied him to practice my lessons with him. She filled a barrel with water and, turning a tap on the side, let the pressure of the water in the barrel push out through pipes she created using rods and hollow reeds.

Brilliant. Ingenious. It was the kind of thing I hoped to learn how to do on my own one of these days.

*Thud*

*Thud*

*Thud*

I felt the vibrations in the ground and whipped around to see Steele approaching from the nearby field. He was being careful with each step, but seeing his easy stride and how relaxed his shoulders were made it seem like he was just coming back from an afternoon stroll. If he weren’t a giant, he would simply look like an older man striding by a field of low-cut grass.

He looked like he was so at ease – at peace.

It was an inspiring view.

Momma tapped me on the shoulder and gestured to the roof of our home. I knew what she wanted to do before she uttered the words, and I liked it. I liked being on the roof. It made me feel tall when I most certainly was not and gave a great view of the fields and distant ocean where our home was.

I scurried up the ladder quickly, grabbing one rung after the next and snagging my skirt with my shoes twice on the way up.

“Be careful sweetheart,” reminded my mother as she pinched the edges of her skirt and ascended gracefully. I wished I could be half as graceful as her on a good day. Although, what I wanted more was to just be able to wear britches or pants like the boys in the village. Wearing skirts and dresses were cumbersome and inconvenient at best, but that would be considered “improper.”

I carefully shimmied across the sides of the roof, the shingles under my hands and feet burning warm from hours resting silently in the sun’s light and secured myself onto the ridge as I watched Steele approach. As my mother joined me at my side, Steele approached and knelt, spotting us immediately.

“Good sun’s high, Steele. Did your jobs go well?” asked my momma as she stood and balanced perfectly on the ridge of the roof. Steele’s smile was broad and thoughtful as he extended his hand toward my momma.

“Very well,” he smiled. “The lake for the Deelas is finished, so their little cows have a place to drink so they will not be bullied away from the water. The fields to the east have been tilled under, so they will have good harvests and good dirt. Finally, the last of the creek rock has been moved, so there should be no other blockages when the rain comes.”

“Excellent. You have had quite the busy day,” said my momma as she carefully stepped up onto Steele’s finger, balanced there for a moment, and then stepped further onto his hand. Steele’s eyes then flicked over to me. There was a moment of quizzical curiosity before his violet eyes brightened.

“Terrilyn, are you coming to the ocean?” asked Steele. I smiled a bit more bashfully than I wanted to, but nodded and glanced down at Steele’s massive fingers, each almost twice as tall as me. Taking a quick breath, I jumped the short distance from the rooftop to the edge of Steele’s fingers, stumbling slightly over the edge of my skirts once again, but managing to make it without falling onto his palm.

“You okay?” asked my momma. I nodded, seeing both Steel and my momma’s eyes on me. I thought for a moment that I would feel annoyed that they were fussing over me, but I really didn’t have that feeling. Instead, an unexpected sensation overtook me – the feeling of being loved and cared for unconditionally by not one but two people.

“Yes, thank you,” I said, smiling and crouching down beside my momma before she gave the signal to Steele that we were ready.

“Then we’re off!” cheered my momma. Her light bark brown eyes sparkled in the sunlight as Steele stood and turned toward the ocean. I stayed close to my momma as I leaned forward into the breath of the wind. It whipped around me as we neared the horizon where the ocean waves kept up their consistent breeze.

As the horizon neared, I saw the water cresting into wave after wave and could hear the whooshing crash of the cresting waves. The smell of the ocean invaded my nostrils, filling them with the smell of salt and the pungent scent of kelp and other sea life.

When I stayed with the Finchs while my momma was working in the city as The Orion’s Factotum, we went to the ocean only once. Usually, the cliff sides are tricky to travers because they are made of shale and other fragile stones, but locals know of a better way. There is only one safe path down to the edge of the water, and it is along the shale steps. This path is safe, but it takes most of the morning to climb down and part of the evening to climb back up safely.

For the entire day with the Finch family, I walked down the steps, slipping only twice, and walked along the damp sand and even found a couple of small shells along the edge of the water which I was allowed to keep in my box of treasures.

I didn’t really get into the water, and I most certainly did not think I could dare venture out into the water beyond the edges of the cliffs.

Now, as we approached the edge, I found my heart pounding as I looked down past the cliffs and to the horizon. My excitement for what was beyond started to seize my imagination. Would I see anything like in the stories and tales of the deep that I heard about from the schoolhouse? Would I glimpse sea monsters or other fantastic creatures?

Now, as he approached the edge, I felt my heart starting to pound with excitement. Steele evaluated the edge, which was about his height, before crouching and laying his hand on the ground.

“One moment, please,” said Steele as he tilted his hand so momma and I could step off. He carefully stepped off to the side before making the small leap down to the ground. For him, it would be as easy as descending a short step. For us, it was a rocky cliff face that would surely lead to our end if we slipped. The crashing impact of his weight against the ground shook the ground like a small earthquake before he turned around and offered his hand for us to safely descend the side of the cliff.

“Thank you,” said momma as she once again resumed her position on Steele’s hand. I joined her, smiling broadly at him and catching the youthful gleam in his violet eyes as he met my gaze.

He turned toward the ocean and, glancing at us, asked, “Are you ready?”

I saw momma nod, and so I did the same, feeling nervous and jittery all at once. Steele turned his eyes not to us, but past us as he stepped carefully across the sand and entered the water. Feeling the ground give ever so slightly, Steele sank further and further into the water, pausing every once in a while to adjust to the temperature of the water.

My guess was that he barely noticed the waves rushing across his feet as he stepped further and further into the water. It wasn’t until he was up to his hips that his body began to sway ever so slightly with the rhythm of the water.

I was nervous, but also excited. I knew it could be dangerous, but I had to look. I laid my front against Steele’s hand and peered over the edge of his palm to the ocean below.

The water was like the color of my eyes, a deep, dark blue that I knew I inherited from my dad. I could see some of Steele’s torso in the water, but I could only see a little way down in the water before his legs completely vanished into the depths of the water below.

As Steele moved deeper into the water, he created a bit of wake on his own, the water creating little waves and crests as he moved from his hips up to part of his torso. I felt him give a little shiver as he continued into the water. Then, with his left hand, he pointed toward the surface of the water a little distance away. He extended his arms and lowered them, so we were only a short distance from the water.

The deep water became clearer and clearer as I gazed down into it. My momma crouched and laid beside me as she peered over the edge. Following Steele’s still pointed finger, I glanced out and watched as something leapt out of the water, spun partially in the air, and then vanished once again below the surface.

“Woah!” I exclaimed involuntarily, covering my mouth almost immediately as if whatever I just saw could hear me.

“Steele, what was that?” asked my mother. There was a sense of curiosity and awe in her voice. Not even a trace of nerves was in her tone.

“Eh… koonyardo vi… we know them as lophind, though these are small. Your size. They are… koonyardo vi… warm. They nurse their young but are like fish. They swim up and down, not side to side though, which makes them different than fish,” explained Steele. I couldn’t help but giggle at his explanation. I knew he was trying so hard to explain what he knew, but expanding his knowledge of our tongue sometimes left him speechless.

It was charming to me. Confusing, but also charming.

I leaned back over the ledge and stared at the water when, suddenly, I saw one of them – the lophind. It had an odd, long nose with eyes that set back slightly. It was a soft light blue-grey color, and I could have sworn that it had some kind of smile on its face. It swam up and down, just like Steele said, and barely broke the surface when there was an explosion of salty mist right in front of me.

I felt the spray against my face and leapt back in surprise, yelping as I fell back. My mother, also startled, managed a laugh as she leaned further over the ledge to catch a glimpse of it.

“Steele! Is that one of them? Tzakar frenmon kavee?” My momma, practicing Steele’s tongue, was able to say one phrase and then the other with such ease. I could only hope that I would be able to do the same one of these days. I watched Steele’s violet eyes brighten instantly at hearing my momma use his language, and he responded in the same language.

“Ken. Tzakar frenmon kavar,” stated Steele, pointing again to the surface as three more of those lophinds leapt from the water and into the air. My heart, finally starting to calm, now pounded excitedly. I crouched by the edge once again and peered over the edge of Steele’s palm, once again face to face with the lophind.

I watched as Steele’s movements in the water created waves that the lophind undoubtedly found amusing because they continued to jump and leap through the water. I watched them play in the water when, suddenly, Steele’s body was completely submerged. He kept the hand we were in aloft, but there was a brief moment where I thought we were going under. The cold ocean water splashed against the heel of his wrist, spraying momma and me with the refreshingly chilled water.

When Steele emerged, he kept his left hand clenched as he reached up and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. I looked up at the shining droplets of water in his hair and highlighting the gray strands in his dark blonde hair, which is lighter than when I first met him. Is it because he is older? Or is it because of all the time he is spending in the sun?

Steele, turns his left wrist over and unfurls his fingers slowly, revealing a mess of sand. I wasn’t quite sure what Steele was doing when I watched my momma step forward into the sand, slipping off her shoes before doing so, and began to sift through it. I stared, fascinated and curious, and watched as momma brushed away the sand until a small notch stuck out from the area she just brushed away.

“Found one,” she smiled as she grabbed the edge of the notch and pulled. I sat there in awe as I watched her pull out a massive seashell. It is a beautiful off-white color which fades into different shades of pink. Speechless, I leaned forward and felt something brush against my palm. I glanced down in the sand and saw a few shells right there by my hand, and one of them still had a resident in it.

I carefully snagged the shell and lifted it up to examine the pink crustation living in the shell. It had massive pinching claws, but it shied away when I held it up by my face to get a better look. For a moment, I felt an odd kinship with the creature.

Did crustations feel? Could they be scared? Was it experiencing the same things I did when Steele held me as I held it in my hand?

I didn’t know. What I did know was that it deserved to be let go back into its home in the water. I laid it gently on the ground and continued to help my momma sift through the sand, stepping onto Steele’s left hand as he calmly dipped his head back into the water, probably to cool himself off. We sifted through the sand, kicking what we didn’t need off of the side of Steele’s hand, and ended up finding two dozen excellently preserved shells, though none quite as exquisite as the one momma found. Some of them are maroon while others look pink and others blue grey.

What kind of creatures used to live in these? I wondered quietly to myself as we stepped back onto Steele’s right hand.

“We’re good!” called momma as she managed to catch Steele’s attention. He nodded, dipped his left hand back into the water, and then submerged again, grabbing another handful of sand so we could repeat the process. This time, I managed to find a dozen teeth that Steele said belonged to a creature he called peripisci, which were evidently dangerous sea creatures.

We collected shells and teeth for the better part of an hour or so before I watched momma pull out a couple of odd-looking headbands from her side bag. I watched as she hoisted up her skirt, tied it securely to her hip, and tied the headband onto her head. Part of the headband was see through, like glass, and had something wrapped around the rim. She looked a little funny with these things on her eyes.

Then, she looked at me and smiled.

“Alright, Terrilyn. I’m going to try something. You can try it with me or stay here while I do, but I will be right back, okay?” said momma. Maybe it was just the idea of her trying something dangerous, but I didn’t want to leave her side. Still, she has a determined look in her eyes that says she is going to do something, and no one is going to tell her not to.

I was conflicted. Did I go with her? Stay?

I wanted to be brave like her, and doing brave things was the only way I knew how to do it in this moment.

“I… I’ll come with you,” I said, feeling my own hesitation. I swallowed dryly as I watched my momma smile and slip a similar headband around my eyes, securing the odd lining around my eyes as she tied the other parts tight around my head.

“Okay, we are just about ready. Now, Terrilyn, what we are trying to do is see under the water,” said momma as she finished tying the final knot.

“See under water?” I asked. “But, how? The salt in the water will burn, right?” Momma nods.

“Yes, it will burn. That is why Steele and I made these. These should keep our eyes safe. He is going to lower us into the water just for a moment and we’ll get a chance to see if these work. Remember about holding your breath? We’ll need to do that. Okay?” said momma. I loved how confident she was, and I decided to mirror her behavior.

“Yes,” I said. Steele, listening the entire time, nodded and, slowly, began lowering his hands into the water. I felt my heart starting to pound harder and faster in my chest. My mouth felt extremely dry, but I took deep breath after deep breath as I felt the water come up over my ankles, up to my knees, and up past my waist.

The chill of the water is a welcomed relief to the blazing heat of the day. I saw Steele’s hands curl ever so slightly, cupping us in order to keep us from being bombarded by the waves. As the waves came up and splashed against my back and my sides, I looked up and saw my momma confidently take a deep breath, crouch, and submerge in the water.

She looked like she would have in the bath, suspended and effortlessly weightless. I saw her head glance around from left to right before she pushed herself up and looked over at me.

“Terrilyn, you have to see this,” she said. There is a youthful gleam in her eyes as her wild red curls sag and cling to her face. She takes another breath and ducks back below the water.

Be brave.

I held my breath, knelt, and dipped my face beneath the cool waves.

Immediately, I am plunged into another world. The surface of the water looked like a silver barrier as the blue extended farther than the horizon. The depth was further down than the sky was up, and it was filled with life. Far below, I watched fish and those other odd creatures that looked like pieces of cloth drifting far below me. The waves engulfed me, and I kept hold onto Steele’s hand to keep the waves from drifting me away.

I came up for air after a short while and sputtered out a little bit of water. A little got into the weird device on my eyes, but I managed to get it out before I delve back beneath the waves.

I am completely enamored with the world below the waves that I regretted the moments I had to come up for air. My momma pointed to different things she saw in the depths below, but eventually we resurfaced and met Steele’s curious eyes.

“Did they work?” asked Steele. Momma and I both nodded eagerly.

“Yes. Ken! Yes,” sputtered my momma, spitting out some of the salt water from her mouth, as she leaned back against Steele’s fingers as if she’s relaxing in the shallows. “Very well. A few adjustments and we’ll have it perfected.”

“Good,” smiled Steele. “Are you ready to go back? Or do you want to stay?” Momma looked at me, waiting for me to respond. I think about it for a moment before looking back up to Steele.

“Could… we stay? I want to see the water some more, please,” I said. Steele smiled broadly and nodded.

“Yes, and hang on. I’m going under,” said Steele. Momma and I barely had a chance to secure our devices onto our eyes before all three of us plunged under the water. Steele managed to open his eyes and, instantly, I’m captivated by his visage. He appears other worldly with the way little bubbles line his face and how the backdrop of the ocean blue enhance his violet eyes.

He squinted around before closing his eyes and remaining there for several more seconds before standing once again. The rush of water weighed me down like immense, heavy blankets. The water poured out from Steele’s slightly splayed fingers as he lifted us out of the water entirely, leaving me feeling like a drenched kitten.

I thought about ripping my clothes off just to my undergarments since my shirt and skirt felt so heavy, but I refrained. It was the only thing protecting my skin from burning, and me staying in the clothes probably was keeping it from shrinking completely.

At least, I hoped it would.

After we recovered, Steele had us secure ourselves to his shoulder as he waded all the way up to the edge of his shoulder so the water would splash us from time to time. Every once in a while and with an amused smirk on his lips, Steele will lower all three of us into the water. I found myself laughing and leaning into Steele’s neck and my momma’s embrace.

The entire day is, in a word, fun. Between the splashing and the later walk along the beach as well as the collection of shells and teeth, I had a wonderful, perfect day.

Suddenly, I was pulled back to that day with the Finchs and realized that, in that moment, I remembered seeing them this happy. I saw them laughing and splashing about in the water. I saw Mr. and Mrs. Finch hugging and kissing their children. I watched them enjoying their time together – a family.

Was that what this was? Was that what I had now?

I looked over to my mother, who was beaming and radiant in the light of the setting sun, and then to Steele, who had on a smile that seemed untouched by his years in prison.

Were we… a family?

I looked back at them and found myself smiling, hardly able to contain the warmth spreading in my chest. A fluttering thumped in my chest, and I realize I haven’t felt happier in a long time.

Yes.

This was my family. My mother, my Orion, and me.

~~~~~^*^*^*^*^~~~~~

Continue

Previous

Beginning

~~~~~^*^*^*^*^~~~~~

Book One: The Orion’s Factotum