#he's so bad at people oh my word

[mage-witha-glock]

I think one of the funniest things about Zorian is his reaction to Zach's revenge.

Like, Zorian broke his number one promise to Zach. He broke his trust, too. He did what Jornak did! You know, Zach's ex-best friend? He tampered with Zach's head! Unlike Jornak, it wasn't malicious, but still!

And he also traumatised Zach! He faked his death right in front of him, made Zach watch him get stabbed. Zach was probably in shock, started grasping at straws of how Zorian might not be dead, cried his eyes out in their special spot, cried himself to sleep.

Then, a month later in the epilogue, Zach is using Kirelle to get revenge and it gives Zorian a trauma induced panic attack. Zorian not only calls it "petty revenge crap" he also goes: It happened like a month ago + what's the big deal anyway :/ At least he didn't punch me this time....

Petty crap! He calls it petty crap! Zach uses Zorian's trauma to hurt him in the name of revenge and Zorian just kinda goes: damn bro. You fr? Ain't you tired :/?

He's so fucking unbothered after the initial panic it's hilarious. And the way he dismisses the mind thing as happening a month ago as if he didn't severely traumatise his best friend. Like duh he's still upset!! What the hell Zorian??!?

[vaguely-concerned]

thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:

the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)

it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.

"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)

as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.

that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAU - Reunion

Fun fact. I was planning on going through these drabbles to see where I still had a bit of a blank spot timeline and story wise. and I did NOT get far.

Because I realised. I never made a tiny drabble about how I pictured the guys reuniting to go back to Nightmare!

So. That is this! (also yes i am hinting at bad sans poly but we will see where that all ends)

First and Prev Drabble (with the original prompt by @spotaus ) Next Drabble

*-----------------*

Cross frowns as the knife once again can't cut through the universe.

This... is an issue.

Cross had managed to get close but for some reason the knife could not connect with Nightmare's universe and castle.

Had... had Nightmare banned him?

Cross hopes not. He knows he had been stupid for running away but he had just! He needed! He had just needed a moment for himself!

Cross tries to take a deep breath and relax. It is fine! Think! Think there is probably another reason!

NIghtmare had been shrinking and losing his form... maybe he is just tired and resting and that affects the universe he is in? Maybe?

Cross wishes Dust was here, Dust knows so much more about magic stuff than he does. Sadly Cross was an idiot and just went out on his own without saying goodbye.

He looks at his phone and opens the message screen again. He clicks Dust's contact and considers typing a message.

Just a quick one to ask for help getting back?

He sighs and puts the phone away. No. This is his mess up and he can fix it himself! He didn't need them or Nightmare to fix his messes!

Again...

Cross shakes his skull and looks to the notes in his phone. He finds the right one. It is a small list of items that should help connect him to Nightmare's universe.

When he first started working for Nightmare the god had told him that the castle and the universe it is in can be hard to find or connect to because of his magic. The items would help the magic in his knife, or the teleportation crystals, locate it and focus on it.

Cross pulls out the list and reads it again.

seven candles, unscented

autumn leaves

a very sweet apple

a dreamcatcher

a way to light a magical fire

be in an universe as close as possible

Cross checks his list and bag and groans. He had only managed to get the apple and the leaves so far. this stupid universe only had a few very small and old towns and it is honestly getting on his nerves!

Cross had just been nervous about leaving this universe. He didn't know this one and just because he managed to jump to it didn't mean he would be able to do it again.

The phones had an extra feature to make it known to them if they were near the castle. it had lit up at this spot after quite a few universes that didn't do it.

Meaning he was not leaving it!

Agh. he could ask if Horror is having more luck and-

WAIT!

Cross looks back over his shoulder and sees Horror walk past.

Cross doesnt think and rushes after the large skeleton "Horror! wait up!"

horror blinks and looks over "Oreo?"

Cross pulls a face at the nickname but catches up to him "What are you doing here?"

Horror looks slightly sheepish as he rubs his neck "You know... regret... trying to get back..."

Cross frowns "Get back- wait... did you leave as well?!"

Horror frowns at him "As well?" then his sight finds Cross' bag and cross can see Horror take note of the items in there. Horror looks back at him with a frown "You can't make the jump either?"

Cross feels both better and worse. Maybe he isn't banned! Or at least he isn't alone in being banned! which just makes him feel like a jerk. He nods and groans "not having much luck with getting the things i need. only got the apple and the leaves..."

Horror blinks but gets a small half grin on his face which Cross thinks should be criminal with how goo- OKAY he is stopping that line of thought.

Horror calmly gets his phone and turns it to enable Cross to see the items in his inventory. a lot of foods and- oh! a sweet apple. and unscneted candles!

Horror keeps grinning "Seems like we are getting close."

Cross grins and nods as he walks with the taller skeleton "Any idea why we can't get in?"

Horror shrugs "multiple options. dunno which."

Cross nods as he looks down "Yeah i figured."

They walk and search together before a loud gasp and Cross is suddenly tackled form behind. Cross yelps as he loses his balance. The only reason he doens't fall over is because Hroror manages to catch both him and whichever idiot rushed into him.

"Criss-Cross! H!"

Ah. nevermind. Cross knows that idiot. Cross glares over his shoulder at the grinning Killer "Why would you tackle me?!"

Killer grins but the grin turns sharper then just friendly "Had to make sure you guys didn't up and leave again without a single fucking word Criss-Cross!"

Cross winces and looks to the side "Yeah... I guess..."

Horror looks guilty as well before looking at Killer "Why are you here? instead of at the castle?"

Now it is Killer's turn to look away and he shrugs "After all of you guys left I figured i would try it myself. the whole solo-rouge-vagabond dealio. I didn't like it. So I am going back ot Nightmare and see if he needs a right hand still...." more thoughtful "or maybe babysitter? If that whole shrinking thing kept up."

Yeah and that line causes more guilt than before. because they really just all left Nightmare alone to deal with whatever was affecting him. Instead of at least offering help as they should have as his henchman and teammates. Nope! instead they all just left!

Cross rubs his arm "Yeah... we are on our way back too... You got stuff for the ritual?"

Killer sighs "Only the lighter. But that is because i already had one."

Horror frowns at Killer "All of us? Dust too?"

Killer nods "Just walked away. not a word or grabbed anything as far as i know."

Cross covers his face "We are the worst. terrible people." thankless, untrustworthy, unloyal. Cross can think of quite a few more words to describe them.

"We knew that already."

Cross, and Killer for that matter, curses as he jumps back. Only to see Dust standing by them, hood up but face visible with his bored expression.

Killer is by now standing behind Horror and glares at Dust "Don't do that! My soul is already fragile!" the soul shaped floating soul wiggles but stays steady.

Dust raises a brow and looks unimpressed "Don't talk about others then."

Horror chuckles and smiles "Good to see you dust. join us?"

Dust nods "Can't make the jump. what are we mission still?"

Cross takes out the list and after comparing what they have they realise they are only mission the dremacatcher, which Dust pulls out of his pocket.

Cross gasps "Where did you find that? I checked every store!"

Dust shrugs "stole it."

... right. that is also an option.

They take the items outside of town and get it ready.

The dreamcatcher as base with the candles all around it. The leaves used to wrap the apple, the only use one and Horror eats the others as they work.

Killer holds up the lighter and after focusing for a moment flicks it. instead of the normal yellow flame a bright pink flame appears. Killer lights all the candles adn waits for a moment until the smoke circles one another. Last Killer lights the leaves enclosing the apple without disturbing the smoke trails.

The new smoke trail joins the other seven and the whole pile bursts into flames but no heat comes off it. the flame remains pink for a moment before turning purple and then turning black.

Killer grins and looks at Cross "cut away!"

Cross nods and cuts right above the flame and the universe shimmers. The smoke finds the small slice and fills it, moments later the flame and fire travels up towards the slide using the smoke and it opens a black portal, still smoking.

They rush through it and manage to get through it before the portal burns up.

Cross looks over his shoulder "And there shouldn't be anything left?"

Dsut shrugs "small pile of ash."

Killer grins "it burns up very quickly as soon as a portal is established."

Cross frowns as he looks around. they are in the late autumn forest around the castle. He can see the shadow of it in the distance. He starts walking and the other three join him.

Cross huffs "Still think it is a deceptively easy list..."

Killer shrugs "People don't expect there to be an easy way. Not like they will just test things until they hit jackpot." Then Killer grins wider "Not that anyone knows about Ngihtmare's sweet tooth. and no one knows about the apple, hell we don't even know it."

Cross nods as they walk through the forest. Cross can't help but feel like it feels... empty. Whcih is weird because Cross always knew there was nothing else in this universe or forest but them. but still it feels...different.

Horror seems to notice too as he glances around "feels weird..."

Dust nods immediantly "magic is different."

Cross nods as well "I noticed too..."

Whatever is going on it is big... because either it is affecting the universe, it is affecting nightmare enough that it affects the universe. or Nightmare is affected enough that he made these edits.

Hopefully they can clear all this up once they see Nightmare and apologise to him. The exit the forest and spot the castle in the distance.

Time to go talk wiht him.

*-----------------*

First and Prev Drabble Next Drabble

And as we all know, Nightmare wasn't there. woops. turns out that apology will have to wait a bit Cross.

And the tiniest bit of Bi-panic for Cross (I believe he canonly is Bi in like Xtale so he is still Bi here) ((And yes I am slightly hinting at BSP because I like them but They are kinda too busy to really focus on that in these drabbles but there some interest! but it can also be seen as pureply platonic with just some curious interest honestly *shrug* It is june after all!))

[gunstellations]

"お前は失ってばかりじゃねえ"

"you haven't only received loss"

[n0bluev]

@fushiglow hmm….wonder who i’d draw this for all of a sudden and why… 🤔🤔

[sun-marie]

being so honest. i have so little attachment to v*rric tethr*s. when i realized the reveal i literally cheered out loud 😶

[kakusu-shipping]

Got caught explaining Selfshipping to my brother's normie girlfriend and I'm really unsure if that was a good call or not

[seaweedstarshine]

RIP Krakoa 🌹 I can’t lie I’ve been kinda behind since midway through Fall of X I’m gonna catch up before my first SDCC this summer but I hear Vulcan didn’t see much action anyway. Anyway my hand slipped and I found myself looking into the eyes of my canonically psychotic son the best Summers brother who’s never done anything wrong in his entire life, (he’s done lotsa wrong things but I love him more for it)

[theribbonmarkedroom]

Oh you REALLY had to be there 😭

[jitteryjive]

i need to remake my cup bros ref… both cup and human designs… it’s been almost a year(?) and i’ve developed the headcanons and i would like to share with the class!!! (i wrote thirty tags. Please help me)

[rosicheeks]

.

[thebyter]

i read this one uu fic where ash knows tht spoke is spoke inthe mafia episode and its lkke him giving spoke a ceremony outfit and its kinda gay with all of the caressing and shit but idk if i like them that way Id prefer to see them in a toxic platonic way but the author might make them kiss if they make a sequel but ill pretend that its a cheek kiss instead if they do

[curiousserpent]

The thing about me, personally, being in bg3 as a concept is I would quite literally accidentally sell my soul to Raphael because I never hear a word of what he says since I'm too entranced by the sound of his voice and gesticulating.

[tlgtw]

MGSV really is *so* misogynistic it is honestly hard to believe. It has ONE named female character, just one. And holy shit, the things they make that single woman do.

I don't know what happened. Or how Kojima thought what we was doing was defensible.

I could just link to the introduction of the SKULL snipers from Mission 28 Code Talker but even that I feel is so unbelievable to see with your own eyes that it would exit the mind as soon as it stopped playing.

Literally every criticism made during that era toward's this game is accurate. Every single one.

It might legit be the WORST example of "male gaze," literally literally ever. Out of everything.

If MGSV had outright no women in it whatsoever it would be better than what this is.

The cutscene for when Big Boss comes to Mother Base after not showering was what sealed it for me.

And the fact that there were people back then who thought they could defend this perhaps makes it even more deranged.

[orcelito]

After I get adhd meds it's all over for you fuckers. And by that I mean I'm hoping it will let me focus on my writing enough that I can continue both ITNL *and* discacc. Concurrently!!!!

That's the dream, at least. I love ITNL too much to wanna give it up midway through (pls ignore the 4 months hiatus 🙏 I've been goin thru it) BUT ALSO I really really love discacc too.

For now. Adhd only allows one focus at a time, and barely even that. But someday... I will get to write both vash AND akechi fics. Thank you.

[wortsandall]

i have so many thoughts on mtme #27 and chromedome and prowl and i fear i am severely late to the party