#he's real life bruce wayne

[dismas-n-dismay]

I'm not fucking joking when I tell you I saw this panel and literally started sobbing and crying over seeing my babygirl buying chocolate with just fucking quarters. This is the people's jason todd for real, thank you Juni Ba

[emotional-piece-of-meat]

Bruce, Jason and Damian love homescapes but for very different reasons. 

Damian likes decorating his house, it gives him aesthetic pleasure and satisfies his creative inclinations when he can't get to art supplies. It also makes him look like his father.

Jason enjoys destructions, explosions and combinations. He feels morally satisfied every time he manages to clear the entire map or complete a level with fewer steps. He also reacts keenly to defeats, especially when he gets stuck on the same level, but never uses helpers or bonus lives out of pure pride.

Bruce is just a boomer doing his boomer shit. He uses it to kill time when he is waiting for his kids to get ready to go, which takes forever, or when he waits in general. And he is extremely good at this, I mean on ridiculously high level, only because every time he plays it his brain go brbrbr, which is very satisfying.

[farshootergotme]

Damian: I found out that I show multiple signs of autism.

Bruce: Hmn, I've observed that many in our family tree had a touch of autism.

Damian, who could've saved himself lots of questions had he known this earlier: ...I see.

[ghost-bxrd]

Ya’ll ever think about how Bruce probably hates watching The Lion King because in there the dad managed to save his kid, but he, Batman, didn’t manage to save his own son in time?

[notfeelingthyaster]

like i get bruce won't kill joker or whatever (boooooooooo 🙄) but doesn't new jersey or gotham have death penalty? if not, there's no way for joker to be tried by federal justice after how many war crimes this man committed? and then promptly executed, bc i don't think the insanity plea holds to multiple accounts of mass murder, serial killing and premeditated kills

[littlefankingdom]

Originally, Bruce and Dick slept in the same bed.

I like to twist this around: Bruce, being a young parent, was VERY protective and worried about his boy who wants to go fight criminals with him, and it translated into him refusing to let Dick leave his side after difficult nights. Dick is hurt? He is sleeping in Bruce's bed. Dick isn't hurt but it was a close call? He is sleeping in Bruce's bed. Bruce just got scared but Dick was fine? He is sleeping in Bruce's bed. Dick is scared? He is sleeping in Bruce's bed. Of course, this led to Dick also refusing to leave Bruce's side when Bruce gets hurt or could have been hurt, so he also sleeps in Bruce's bed on these nights. And, as he grew up in a circus, always moving around, he is used to sleeping in his parents' arms or very close by, so it's normal for him.

So, Dick is often sleeping in Bruce's bed, cuddled up to Bruce. And as he grows up, he sleeps less and less in Bruce's arms, and he supports less and less Bruce's suffocating anxiety. Finally, he stops completely.

Some events make him wants to crawl back in his dad's bed (his multiple SA, the destruction of Bludhaven, the multiple times he thought Bruce died, etc...), but he never dares to. He is an adult now, and he fears Bruce would have a problem with it. Bruce is also not that welcoming toward physical affection since Jason's death (something Cass fixes, but that's another story). So, Dick doesn’t, even when he craves to.

Until Bruce is send back in time and believed dead. When he comes back, Dick just cannot stop himself, he needs to hold his dad, and he is so afraid Bruce will dissappear if he isn't touching him. He is holding him all evening long, and when it's time for bed, Bruce wordlessly goes to sleep holding Dick with one arm, the other around Tim. (Damian isn't close enough to Bruce yet to dare come sleep with them, Cass is in Hong-Kong, but she is jumping on a plane and will join the sleep-cuddle pile, Jason isn't back in the batfam yet but the possibility of losing Bruce scared him so bad, he is going to start to make efforts to not be on bad terms with them)

[autisticrosewilson]

So do you guys actually think that Jason's entire story, relationship to the others, and philosophy amounts to him being a rebellious teen who wants his dad's attention? Like are you 100% serious? I thought you were joking about that but too many of you are saying it with your whole chest.

And what the fuck is this "Bruce antagonizing Jason is fanon!" Shit I've been seeing? You guys are aware that a parent can love their kid and still be a shit parent right? I know you guys don't want to fathom the thought that maybe your blorbo might also occasionally have to face responsibility for consistently endangering children but let's not start being delusional now.

Bruce does love his kids, that doesn't mean that he hasn't hurt them. And I'd also argue that for the most part he feels in the right for it, and he's said multiple times that he believes it's for their own good, so you can't even argue that he's sorry about it. It's okay for you guys to admit that your PERSONAL INTERPRETATION of the character wouldn't do that but don't sit here and pretend that it's not a facet of the source.

[blehhmm]

*at a bookstore*

Jason: *grabs book of shelf, looks at Bruce* y'know if even awfully great child this yea-

Bruce: No you haven't.

Jason:*putting the book back, and mumbling* Get good grades they said, i'll buy you whatever books you want they said

[tiffanybluesclues]

Every week someone makes a post about how annoying it is that Dick Grayson fans don't acknowledge his flaws, and every week someone replies with an explanation that the flaws OP listed are entirely fanon and inconsistent with canon as it actually happened and at this point I have to assume that none of those explanations are ever going to stick because clearly some people just want the fanon to be true.

Anyway, I'm just putting this here for me to edit and add relevant-to-the-topic links later so I'll have them nicely at hand to read and sooth my frustrations when it gets real bad out there. (Echo chambers are good when we use them to drown out character mischaracterizing fanon.)

[notmoreflippingelves]

Was anyone going to tell me that Jason Todd was not the first child with a criminal past living under the guardianship of Bruce Wayne who died in the Robin suit--or was I just supposed to be blindsided by that in my Silver Age Teen Titans readthrough?

[ginalinettiofficial]

listen to me. listen to me please.

i know that canonically bruce wayne never had any of his tiny children in booster seats because comic book writers likely are not very well educated on the topic and, like honestly most people, are entirely unaware of the very real dangers that children under age 12 face in cars due to their spinal and skeletal development. i know this.

but i cannot help the part of my brain that IS educated about car seat safety and booster seat safety and best practices for children in vehicles

and i also cannot help but know that bruce “my back up plans have back up plans and research is my super power” wayne would absolutely have at least SOME idea of the most up to date car seat regulations okay

and so i cannot help but think that somewhere in some universe. there is a bruce wayne who has asked for booster fit checks for his 12 and under robins on car seat safety facebook groups or reddit pages

and now i am just imagining. the posts. because listen

there are car seat pages on facebook okay, groups full primarily of parents and caregivers who post pictures of their children’s car seats/boosters and/or their children IN said seats, for purposes of doing a “fit check” aka asking the professionals in the group (CPSTs, in case anyone cares) to double check that the seat is installed correctly and that they have buckled the child correctly and that everything fits properly

and the thing is that a good quarter of all posts in those groups are in fact of children aged 10-12 sitting their most upright and buckled in WITHOUT their booster, with a caption that goes something like “hey so my 10yo is begging to be done with their booster - can i get a fit check? they’re 55in, 62 pounds. we drive a 2007 camry if that matters.” and the comments are inevitably filled with people letting them know that nope, sorry, that kid does NOT pass the 5-step test, and probably will need a booster for a couple more years.

(the five step test, if you’re curious, is the five steps that a child has to physically pass in order to safely sit without a booster before age 13. there are four places to fit check - neck, lap, knees, and feet - and then the fifth step is whether they are mature enough to keep themselves in a safe position for the duration of a car ride - aka won’t slouch, mess with the seatbelt, etc. most 12 year olds do not 5 step and if their parents are educated about it, that means they’ve gotta be in a booster til they’re 13.)

((the comment section will also inevitably have at least one adult woman saying “this is wild, i’m 5’1 and i don’t pass this five step test myself! yall are too strict!” followed by the admins or a cpst kindly reminding them, “yes, but you have an adult skeleton. also you ARE at more risk in a car than the average man, cars are designed to keep male bodies safe and female and child bodies just have to make do.”))

all this to say that i can just. SO picture bruce wayne being in one of these groups, and every few years posting a pic of a different kid and saying “please help me convince my child he still needs his booster, as he won’t listen to me. age 11, 60in, 75lb, convinced that i’m making him use a booster seat solely to embarrass him 🙄”

and then the comments section which would be half people going “hahahah my 12yo is the exact same - but nope sorry bud, knees don’t meet the edge of the seat & that belt is definitely too high up on his neck!!” and “definitely doesn’t 5 step, better luck next time kiddo 😂” and the other half people going “BRUCE WAYNE??????????” or “BRUCE POSTED EVERYONE WAKE UP BRUCE POSTED AGAIN!!!!! hi bruce we missed you!!!!!”

i can’t draw well enough but please know that if i could i’d make a whole social media au that’s just bruce asking for booster fit checks for his various children

[emma-d-klutz]

You guys ever think Batman being like, “I am a monster. I want to kill people, too. I think about it all the time. But I don’t. Because I am In Control,” is him mistaking intrusive thoughts for homicidal ideation? Like I bet if he goes too long without a crisis and leaves his mind free, he starts getting antsy and will, like, see some random woman and start obsessively thinking about killing her, and he takes that at face value like, “I know I am... deep down.. a monster. But I can Control Myself,” and then he does seven compulsions and isolates himself to protect the world from him. And like maybe this would be detrimental enough to his life for it to be better noticed if he didn’t have a new, real life-or-death emergency to take his nervous brainpower within the hour, but he does. 

Do you guys think that?

I think that.

I think a lot of the other Bats inherited this from him, too.

I also think he just, in addition, separately, also has homicidal ideation. 

[leefail]

I just realised... what Bruce went through when Bane broke his back was just a spinal shock and not a complete cord injury. It's probably how he is walking again. Probably.

[ijustthinkhesneat]

I’m gonna share my DC character headcanons because I want to and no one can stop me! (I wish I had cool art skills to ad visuals to this but I am artistically challenged 😔)

Bruce Wayne:

Birthday: October 10th, 1991 (Spooky szn, also I decided he’s not old)

Sexuality: Bisexual he’s in love with Clark 😊

Favorite Animal: Bats because I’m basic

Has Autism

Height: 6’0

Favorite Food: Lasagna, it is inexplicably the only thing he can cook.

Gender Identity: Demiboy, He/They Pronouns

Now the juicy backstory…

-In my demented brain Bruce didn’t actually have a happy childhood before his parents death and that Thomas was kind of a traditional toxic masculinity man. I think Martha tried her best but couldn’t fully protect Bruce. Alfred was a friend of Martha that moved in after their deaths to take care of Bruce and instilled a lot more positive values in him.

-Is canon, absolutely not, but it’s my brain I can do what I want. I feel like this also helps explain Bruce’s struggles with being a emotionally vulnerable with his kids and the why he makes shitty choices sometimes.

-I also believe he wants to be better and genuinely tries really hard to be a good dad. Very much that trope of ‘I want you to have a better life than I did’.

-Post Alfred moving in with Bruce his development into Batman plays out pretty much the same, but he he does start to realize he is not the straight.

-After adopting Dick he finds out that his son is definitely not straight (caught holding Wally wests hand in a not god honoring way) and has a lot of internal turmoil, he wants to support his son, but has to wrestle with his own internalized homophobia. (Thanks Tom). Lots of angst it’ll be great.

-This contributes to Dick leaving and Bruce finally confronts his issues, enter Jason.

-Jason dies and Bruce goes all the way off the deep end, almost kills the joker. I actually like the idea that Dick stops him and then returns secretly to finish the Joker off, cause he thinks Bruce wouldn’t be able to recover.

-Tim gets adopted a little earlier because jack and Janet throw him out for being trans. Trans baby Tim is the best. This helps Bruce come to terms with his own identity again.

-Steph becomes robin because slay queen mama waffle boots the house spoiler

-Jason returns and has his under the red hood arc minus Bruce basically slitting his throat with a batarang cause I hate that and it makes no sense.

-Cass is adopted and becomes the silent chaos queen we deserve. I like many people headcanon her as being selectively mute, Bruce learns sign language faster than anyone else.

-Damian shows up around the age of 5 because again time is like dick Grayson, bendable as all hell. Bruce loves his babies but extra babies Damian because he loves him and sees a lot of himself in Damian and doesn’t want him to be like him.

-Bruce reachs out to Jason because he missed his son to much and he comes back and omg it’s just the best thing to ever happen pls DC let these boys be SOFT.

-Bruce adopts Duke because another vigilante child isn’t gonna make a difference now but little does he know that his fifth son is perhaps the most chaos gremlin of all. He is flashlight and he will step on the Jokers throat for fun, because not only did the joker jokerize his bio parents but he fucked with his brothers and his dad to much so he’s gonna toaster that man’s tub.

That’s my Bruce headcanon and time line the others won’t be this long but this is for me so I don’t care what anyone thinks teehee.

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

The first mission the Court send their newly minted Talon on is an assassination attempt on the ward of one Bruce Wayne… Dick Grayson.

Calvin— can’t kill Dick. He can’t.

He didn’t know it would be the boy he grew up in the circus with they want him to murder in cold blood. He didn’t know— didn’t recognize him until the knife was already at his throat.

But he remembers now. And he won’t do it. Never. Never.

He’ll run. Disappear. Dick doesn’t know who he is, it’s better that way, and if he’s lucky the Court will be too busy hunting him to care about the failed assassination.

Unfortunately for Calvin, Dick does remember; Recognizes the Talon.

And he’s not inclined to let his childhood best friend slip through his fingers again after years of believing him dead.

[izukuer]

i cant think about having a good dad. or mom for that matter.