#he's not overly emotional it's just that imagine if he's currently Going Through It and just

[bruhstation]

henry btw. now that you have me by the throat

FOR REAL THIS IS LITERALLY HIM!!!!!! driven to tears by the little things in life.... reminds me of this one

[windblume-wishes]

Obey Me Brothers - The Period Pain Simulator (HCs)

AFAB MC in this story!

TW: Mentions of periods, blood, and period pain.

𝕃𝕖𝕥’𝕤 𝕤𝕖𝕖 𝕟𝕠𝕨, 𝕀 𝕓𝕖𝕝𝕚𝕖𝕧𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕥𝕒𝕝𝕖 𝕘𝕠𝕖𝕤 𝕒 𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕝𝕖 𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖…

You decided to order a period pain simulator after seeing trends online of men giving them a try and suffering. As being the only AFAB individual in a house full of testosterone it only makes sense to see if it too works on demon men- after all, a man is a man regardless of species, right? Surely seven demons could withstand a mere period pain simulator…. Right….?

Lucifer

He knows about periods, yes, Lilith herself did go through them- however, as far as he was aware, they were not as excruciating. She just was a moody muffin who became overly blunt and would be extremely hungry. Yes, she did want to throw hands at times but he shrugged it off for the most part.

Yes female angels have periods too, he has been witness to some rather brutal ones where the female angels just get insanely emotional or start wanting heads to roll. Demon females too, he’s seen plenty at the local grocery store go bonkers over snacks and the hygiene products.

He had no idea exactly how painful these could get, oh boy would he find out.

Was hesitant at first, after all, you seem to be in agony during your monthly visitor but he decides to give this a go just to see how you truly feel. He’s seen plenty of females, angel, human or demon, go through them and each have their own unique emotional range and pains.

What can possibly go wrong? It’s just a silly human device that is made to simulate period pain. How could this ever hurt the great Lucifer himself?

How bad can it REALLY be? Sir, prepare to feel some agony.

“Is this even on? Hmph, this is easier than I thought.”

Sir, that is because it’s only at setting 1, be ready for worse.

Immediately eats his words the second you crank it up to about three, he refuses to admit it hurts and simply says he’s a demon, this is nothing.

Crank it up to about five and he is already sweating, he still refuses to throw in the towel and admit defeat. He must hold out for as long as possible.

“Y/N… you really feel this?! Every month?!”

“Yes, but imagine more pain and blood gushing out of your southern hemisphere- oh and tender breasts, followed by a fever, bloating, nausea, and insane cravings.”

“Remind me to curse Father out more for this- ahem- design flaw…”

You crank it up to seven and he caves. He is done. He has unshed tears in his eyes and is on the bed writhing in agony.

“Honey, want to try levels nine and ten? That’s how it usually feels for me on the first two days.”

He literally looks you in the eyes and says he will never do that again, however… he just discovered an interesting punishment device in this thing.

I feel bad for the sorry chap who has to suffer the simulator by the hands of Lucifer himself.

After experiencing the period pain simulation he will go even more above and beyond for you during your period.

He runs to the store faster than Mammon when he hears the word “money” to buy you snacks, pads, and anything really.

“You know, level 10 is the equivalent to early labor pains.”

Oh absolutely not, nope, and he thought level 6 was labor pain.

You are hereby exempt from taking classes in-person while on your period. You will become an online student those days and you will be required to relax and take it easy.

If his grudge for his Father wasn’t already big enough that grudge just skyrocketed so high it’s practically a missile to the Celestial Realm.

Mammon

He’s mildly familiar with periods, despite having a little sister he’s still an idiot as to how biology works in that sense.

He has an F (32.60%) in biology currently

He understands the b*tchy attitude and the craving part but the blood part…? Not really. Tell him about bleeding for a week straight and watch this man dial 666 (Devildom’s 911) for immediate assistance in getting his human to the hospital because of Father above you are obviously dy*ng and you need help.

The minute you tell him about this simulator and how it’s supposedly painful and can simulate a period he gets curious and thinks this is a great way to show he’s manly enough for you.

Mammon, you will suffer worse than any of the punishment Lucifer has put you through.

“Can’t hurt worse than any kick to the balls! Ha! This is simple! I’m the GREAT Mammon, I got this!”

Mammon, sweetie, a kick to the balls is nothing to this. It’s scientifically proven that period pains are equally as painful as a heart attack.

He whimpers as the simulator is strapped on

“Y-yo what gives?! It hurts!”

“Mammon, it’s not even on…”

You turn the dial onto the lowest setting, one, so far Mammon is holding strong, nothing too serious.

“Just feels like I gotta fart- like, not a big one but a good sized one.”

Turn it up to about three and he is already clutching his gut and whimpering.

“O-ok! N-now I feel like I gotta sh*t! But there ain’t any sh*t to sh*t! Y/N THE HELL IS THIS?!”

You crank it up to about six and he gives up. He is on the ground crying like a baby.

He swears that Lucifer gives less painful punishments than THIS.

“TURN IT OFF!! YO Y/N TURN IT OFF!! THIS IS WORSE THAN ANYTHIN’!! GETTIN’ KICKED IN THE NUTS IS NOTHIN’ TO THIS!!”

He will also swear that getting “the cut” was less painful than this simulator and will wholeheartedly d*e on that hill.

“This is like… my third lightest day in terms of flow, so yeah- this is painful but just uncomfortable.”

“TF YOU MEAN JUST UNCOMFORTABLE?!”

Man is ready to throw hands with your uterus and demand it stops hurting you.

Mammon feels even worse knowing he picked on his little sister when she was on her period and vows to never anger a lady on her monthly ever again.

“I-is it true ya don’t get this when yer pregnant…? If so, uh….”

Leviathan

He’s heard of periods of course, mainly from anime and manga. He knew of them a bit back when Lilith was around but never really thought much of it.

He is legit scared of them though because Lilith would bite and would get extremely moody on hers and he only ever was aware of the emotional aspect of periods.

Little girl chased him into his room and became very chihuahua like when on her monthly.

He thought the blood part was something only in anime and manga but…. Shh, Y/N, let him figure that out himself.

He’s familiar with the trend, he spends his time scrolling through FabSnap for trends or other things.

“LMAO what normie stuff! Putting themselves through pain from some measly human machine ROTFL!”

“Levi, that measly human machine hurts worse than getting kicked in the balls and is as painful as a literal heart attack.”

“Y/N, PLZ, that’s gotta be some normie rumor and they’re acting in front of the camera- that thing is so small that it totally can’t do something like THAT! LOOOOOOOLLL!! So yeah, my balls are fine, I’m fine, and I’m NOT gonna look like a normie whining on the floor!”

He lifts his shirt and puts the stickers on where they belong he sits in his beanbag chair and waits for whatever you have to throw at him.

How bad can this normie thing be?

He feels a small ounce of discomfort when it’s at one, just brushes it off and is slightly unfazed.

“Just feels like I ate something weird- lmao like that really awful Ruri-Chan collab I went to in-”

To shut him up you crank it to three.

“Ooofff! W-why does it feel like I really gotta sh*t? Is that all a period is? Feeling like you gotta run to the bathroom all the time?!”

Oh Levi, if only you REALLY knew….

You crank the simulator up to six and he screams like a baby, his scream is so high pitched it may have almost broke Henry’s fish tank….

You crank up one more level and oh goodness is he screaming even louder.

“TURN IT OFF!! TURN THE DAMN THING OFF OMG!! THIS HURTS!! OMG THIS HURTS!!!”

“That’s like- my second or third heaviest day, give or take. Sometimes it feels worse. That’s still doable but hurts.”

He will legit look at you with the face of ‘what the absolute f*ck’ while crying.

Like Mammon, will wholeheartedly d*e on the hill of “the cut” hurting less than this simulator- hell, that was wimp level compared to a period pain! Level uno!

Totally the tutorial for the game called pain.

Leviathan will want to throw hands with your uterus and will feel immense guilt realizing how he didn’t do enough for Lilith when she was still around.

“I-if anime has taught me anything t-then I um… t-then I’m gonna treat you m-much better, y/n…! W-wanna watch some anime now…?”

Please give him hugs after that simulator! He needs that desperately!

Satan

Oh he knows, he’s very well aware of how periods are painful, sometimes even more painful depending on the person.

Satan has heard of the simulator and is aware it’s supposed to be excruciating for men, however, that will probably not have any effect on him- he’s a demon. Demon males are stronger than human males-

What? Lucifer was in agony?! Lucifer caved from a mere period pain simulator?! Mammon and Levi too?! Challenge accepted.

You’ve never seen this man rip his shirt off so fast and strap on the simulator in your life. He was eager to prove he is stronger than that stupid Lucifer.

Level one? Really? Is that thing even on? This is NOTHING!

“This is easy, nothing, if this is what a period truly feels like then it’s not too unbearable. Perhaps the books were wrong.”

He eats those words immediately when you crank the simulator up to four.

“O-okay, this is uncomfortable. I feel like I seriously have to run to the men’s room… there’s nothing to release yet it feels like I have food poisoning… hhhnnnggg!!!”

You crank it up to six and he is in tears and gritting his teeth. Agony is setting in and he is digging his nails into his pillow.

“MOTHER F——”

A lot of swearing, not just modern swears, oh no, he will let out swears from the first ever civilizations and ancient peoples. If there was ever a swear word dictionary you best believe this man would have written it.

“SON OF A MOTHER [insert any swears you so wish here]”

Ok, please get one of those TV censored buttons in here. The bleep button will be going nonstop at this point…

“HOW THE [censored] CAN YOU [censored] EVEN [censored] TAKE THIS?!”

If you could tally every swear this man has said you may have filled an entire notepad by now and then some…

Please see your nearest Purgatory Hall for an angel’s blessing to your ears once this has concluded, thank you!

At seven he is still trying his absolute hardest not to break, he absolutely has to beat Lucifer, he needs to be better than him! He refuses to fail!

Please insert any swears from the 14th century here please and thank you! :3

You crank it up to eight and that is it, he is immediately caving, he yells in absolute agony into his pillow. He is sweaty and in tears.

“W-what the absolute f*ck was that?! That… the books never said it would hurt that terribly! How are you even alive, Y/N?! If it’s truly as painful as a heart attack you seriously need to take the week off!”

“Hm? A week off? Well, about that, we usually just suffer silently as we go about our days. Chocolate is a game changer truly.”

His jaw drops, he cannot begin to comprehend how the hell you are even able to walk after going through such a painful experience. Let alone how it even feels to have a full crimson waterfall for 24 hours seven days a week or less depending on the person.

“Oh and I’m also moody, nauseous, bloated, crave weird things and purposely read sad books or watch crime shows. In the mornings for some people it can mimic that of morning sickness and really make it unbearable. Fevers included.”

Watch this man begin to go through all his books to find ways to curse your uterus into never harming you again.

“Y/N…? Did I beat Lucifer? What level did he cave at?!”

You tell him he caved at seven and this man’s ego has skyrocketed. He is the most cocky man in the Devildom.

Congratulations, Y/N, you just literally made this man so full of himself he will probably not go back to normal for at least another 666 years at the least….

Asmodeus

Oh hon, he KNOWS about periods, he knows all the dirty details that come with it and literally everything about them. It’s kinda his thing.

Oh you didn’t know he tracks your cycle too? Oh hon, PLEASE, this man knows what’s up! Did you honestly think he did not know how to track these things? He helped his own little sister track hers and understand how to track them.

He’s heard of this trend going around and he can’t help but feel bad for every AFAB person who suffers period pains for real and without a simulation machine.

“Hon, you want me to try this out? Alright then~ a little pain can be fun you know~” *insert little winks and smirk*

Asmo, no, not THAT kind of pain…. *sigh*

Please don’t bonk him, he will make that hornkee jail worthy too…

He gets into some cute and comfy shorts from Victoria’s Secret and takes off his shirt. He makes sure to get on his bed so he feels at least some comfort.

Asmo is actually legitimately scared, he knows they are painful, he has seen you in agony and understands that there is undoubtedly pain in the package, he just does not know how much pain.

Can it be worse than the pain of getting his jewels busted? Definitely. Is it as painful as a heart attack? Science says yes.

He straps the stickers to his lower abdomen and braces for what happens next, he gets even more prepared by putting a pink fluffy headband on to pull his hair back in case he starts sweating… eew! Hon, no, sweat is totes gross and he cannot sweat and ruin his hair!

You turn it on and he winces, it’s not too painful, just uncomfortable. He understands this will only get worse and oh Diavolo is he bracing for impact.

“Y/N, hon, would you be a dear and hold my hand~?”

You comply hold his hand, he’s already squeezing it a little but not too tightly.

You crank it up to three and he is already wincing more and doing breathing exercises like he is a woman in labor. Admittedly, it is rather entertaining to witness…

“Oh goodness, hon, this… HHHNNNGGGGG…!!!! Oh this is certainly getting uncomfortable…”

You crank the device up to about five and he squeezes your hand tightly and lets out some swears. Sweat drips from his brow and he legit looks like he is a woman giving birth.

“Y/N, OH MY GOSH- OH F—! HHHHNNNGGGGG!!!! IT HURTS SO MUCH AND NOT THE FUN KINDA PAIN!!”

“You can do this, Asmo! You made it to level five and that’s incredible!”

“SHUSH!! OH DIAVOLO IT FEELS LIKE ITS AT TEN! AAAHHHH!!”

However….. RIP your hand and your ears as this man screams. A LOT.

The device goes to seven and he squeezes your hand even harder, honestly, you’re surprised it’s not broken.

“I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO PUSH!! OH DIAVOLO THIS IS- AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!”

Push what? Nothing. Sir, you have nothing to push. You are definitely holding back your laughter as this is almost as good as the top Hollywood acting you see in films. Get this demon an award!

Breathing exercises continue and he continues to unintentionally look like he is having serious contractions and about to pop out a child- he’s not but… the simulator is doing a number on him for sure.

Don’t worry, he won’t spawn a random demon like a certain brother of his. Won’t mention any names… but… Lucifer…

You turn the device to about eight and that is it… he is done for.

His poor face is a mess with tears, some snot, and all red… give him a hug, a blanket, some chocolate, some skincare products, and a ton of kisses!!

“H-hon… how in the realms do you survive that agony?! How does anyone survive that?! Are we sure you didn’t strap a labor simulator on me?! Because if you hurt that much you are staying right here with me and I will make sure you feel incredible during your monthly visitor~”

“I feel all that along with the bloating, crimson waterfall of doom, the bizarre cravings, the mood swings, and the need to- ahem… fill in the blank…”

Say no more. This man is READY to go! Hon, you need only say the word and he is all set and ready to pounce!

“Before we do all that, hon, perhaps we can have a quick cuddle session~? I could use that after what you did to me~ and since you had your turn being in control…. Fufu~ you’ll be on the receiving end when we have our fun, love~”

Hello? 666 (Devildom’s 911)? Yes, I’d like to call an ambulance for Y/N when Asmo has finished his… yeah… Y/N may need a wheelchair…

Beelzebub

Oh? Periods? Like in Writing Class…..? No, Beel, sweetie… like the week of blood and agony.

He knows about them a little bit, he understands that there’s a super painful time for AFAB people but never knew it meant blood.

Beel remembers Lilith being very moody and hungry when she was on hers, he remembered how mad she would get if anyone touched her sweets.

He may have almost suffered a broken nose because she was really upset he ate her chocolate cupcakes and now understands that you need sugar to feel better.

Is it medicine…? Sort of, Beel, sort of like medicine, sweetie.

You have to hold his hand and explain the whole process and why it happens, he does get a bit confused but now understands why you smelled like iron those times- he just thought you are a big juicy steak and got all the juices on you somewhere.

“So you bleed for a week or a few days…? And you don’t… you know…. Go…?”

“Yes, for a a few days to a week, no biggie, it’s all part of the process. See? I’m alive, don’t look so scared, Beeley Bear!”

Give him some head pats and make sure he knows you won’t be d*ing anytime soon because of a period.

After promising to take him to a buffet for lunch he agrees to try the simulator, it truly did not take much convincing as he truly wanted to understand and also…. Food.

Beel will take off his shirt and get comfortable in a pair of workout shorts before putting the pads on his lower abdomen.

He is actually very nervous, while he can take pain and all he does actually get scared.

You switch it on to level one and he is confused, wheres the pain?

“Is this even on, Y/N…? Did I break it…? I’m sorry…”

“No you didn’t break it, Beel, this is just level one of ten.”

You crank it up to three and he is starting to feel something. Not much, but something.

“Feels like… hmm… feels like I may need to run to the little demons’ room but not too bad. Is this normal…?”

You nod and crank it up to about five and he has a hand over his belly wincing a little, he truly feels like he needs to run to he little demons’ room but knows there is nothing there.

“So all this is just the feeling of seriously needing to run to the little demons’ room…? So far so good I guess… just feels very uncomfortable. Like a tummy ache…”

“Yeah, it feels like that at times, I get it, but there is obviously more to it than feeling like you need to make a mad dash to the nearest available ‘little demons’ room’ as you put it.”

Crank it up to eight and he is legit starting to feel the pain.

“Y-Y/N… Y/N this r-really hurts now…. feels like when I ate a can of expired tomatoes from 400AD….”

Y/N, you made Beel start to cry, I truly hope you feel terrible now… he has tears in his eyes and is whimpering like a puppy.

You immediately turn it off because quite frankly seeing Beel upset was what truly did it for you.

“I’m sorry for eating your snacks during that time of the month, Y/N, for now on, you can have my custard and as many of my snacks as you want. Oh, and if you wanna go to a restaurant for lunch or something let me know! You’ll get anything!”

Beel is literally the sweetest guy ever, he will literally make sure that you get everything and more during that time of the month because you deserve it.

Belphegor

He knows a bit, not much but definitely enough, he understands that hormones play a huge part and make you an emotional mess, he also understands that there’s blood involved and that there’s weird cravings but the rest? Fill in the blanks.

He remembers Lilith being extra clingy with him when she was on her period, yes she would threaten to bite if he so much as moved the wrong way when she would hop into his bed at night.

One time Belphie made the stupid mistake of saying Lilith looked like she was ran over by a stampede one morning when she had a rude awakening with the crimson flow of doom and got slapped for it.

Like Lilith, you seem to have inherited the same attitude along with a plethora of others… lovely.

“So that’s why you’re always extra b*tchy- hormones and pain, huh? I get it, I’d be just as b*tchy if I were in your shoes- oh I can be in your shoes…?”

Belphie is a bit confused at first at what you mean, he first thought you meant a trip to Solomon to make a potion that would give him the sensation of a period but apparently not.

Oh thank goodness, gives him an excuse not to get out of bed and to remain in his pyjamas and cuddle you and his favourite pillow.

“So is it supposed to hurt or anything? If so this is weak as f—k.”

“Belphie, it’s not even on.”

“Oh… then turn it on before I consider forfeiting and taking a nap, nap time is about now- O-oh…”

Turning it on shuts him up immediately and he sits there a bit confused.

He looks mildly uncomfortable, still a bit confused as to why it’s not that bad- after all, you make it sound as if your insides are literally becoming outsides.

“That’s it? Y/N, not gonna lie, this is boring. I thought this was supposed to be painful.”

Turn the dial up to about four and he’s wincing a bit.

“O-oh sh*t… Y-Y/N I really feel like I need to run to the little demons’ room…! Hhnngg….!”

“It feels like that, doesn’t it? That feeling lasts about two to three days for me depending on flow and length of period.”

He just glares at you as you turn it up to six, he is clutching his pillow and swears just as much as Satan… he also breaks out the 14th century swears along with the first ever swear words of early civilizations.

“SON OF A [censored]! THIS [censored] [censored] HURTS LIKE A [censored]!!

That’s cute, Y/N, you thought Satan was the swear word machine. No, it’s Belphie. This boy can swear! And this little sh*t can get away with it too because he’s the youngest…

“Want to cave in, sweetie?”

“F—K NO! I WANNA BEAT LUCIFER…!”

Turn the dial up to seven and he’s starts crying loudly, this honestly hurts too much for him and it is not pleasant in the slightest.

“TURN IT OFF DAMNIT!! TURN IT OFF…!!”

He has sweat pouring from his brow and tears streaming down his face and looks like a hot mess, you immediately take the stickers off his belly and give him a huge hug.

“Y-you go through that…? Every month or so…?”

“Yes, but of course there’s blood, mood swings, cravings, waking up nauseous sometimes with a small fever, and even being bloated. Sore breasts too on occasion.”

“How the absolute f—k are you even allowed to leave the house and go about life with all that?! No, you are gonna stay with me and cuddle. No way you should have to go through that.”

Belphie will literally buy you any and all products you need from Akuzon while you cuddle because there is no way you should be made to move- well unless you need a new pad or tampon or something or to go…. But food? He will ask his twin to be the delivery guy with snacks and drinks.

“What the f—k was Father thinking when he made this? I mean- I know why it happens and all but what the f—k was his overall logic?!”

Like Lucifer, has plans of giving Father the what for with this “design flaw”.

“New prank idea- make a potion to use on Lucifer that makes him feel this pain for a week straight!”

Belphie…. No….

Belphie yes 😈

———

- Windblume

[nothingenoughao3]

Why we wanna transition to Mad Scientist (or, revulsion and queerness in horror)

(Hi, @ash-eats-film! This is the thing I mentioned!)

Horror has a few baseline emotions it tries to inflict on the audience. This has been written about for decades, most famously by Stephen King, but the baseline elements most writers agree on are as follows.

Dread: Anxiety over what is about to happen

Terror: The fear of what is occurring right this second

Revulsion: Being forced to interact directly with what's happening right now

Black comedy: Being tricked into laughing at either the terror or the revulsion

Horror: The trauma response to what just happened

A great example of this can be seen in The Evil Dead II (YT link that doesn't include the full context, but does have the, uh, money shot). There's the dread of realizing there's something in the root cellar; the terror of when the Deadite pops up in the trapdoor; the combined revulsion and black comedy of Ash jumping on the Deadite's skull/the door, popping out its eyeball which shoots into Bobby Joe's mouth, and then the horror of what just went down rolling over Ash and his current companions.

Often, revulsion and black comedy go hand in hand. That's because they're tension relievers. The revolting thing becomes ridiculous, and you laugh at how ridiculous it is. This lets you settle down in the midst of the gore and death, just slightly, just enough to get through it... so the horror can fully set in for you, too, once it's over.

You also, often, question your own stability if you laugh in the middle of a gross-out horror scene: "Am I sick? Is there something wrong with me for laughing at X?" This is even worse if the villain starts laughing--now you're questioning whether you're IDing with the monster. Are you okay? Is something wrong with you?

Revulsion is often framed as the slutty member of the good, proper, morally-upright brigade of horror. We have a name for folks who seek out gross-out horror--they're gore-hounds, a term that is virtually always pejorative when applied to other people. We call certain types of horror "torture porn" or "gore porn", as though it is inherently sleazy and sexual to rely on this specific emotional reaction. (Note that we don't have "black comedy-porn", or "dread hounds", even though a dread hound sounds really fucking cool.)

Not to go off on a huge tangent, but I think the issue with media that overly relies on revulsion is that it's unbalanced, not that it's bad. A movie that's nothing but dread never has any emotional payoff. A movie that's nothing but terror never lets the audience relax back into their seats and, paradoxically, will become boring (imagine two hours of jumpscares).

So forth and so on: all aspects of horror rely on each other to survive. That includes scenes that make you go "Awww, sick" while nervously cackling.

Here's the thing: in previous generations, revulsion was similarly understood to be an essential part of horror, but what led to a revolted reaction was very different.

Lovecraft (boo this man! BOOOOO) understood the power of revulsion, which was the source of a lot of his strangest and most vivid descriptions. It was also the source of some of his most bigoted ideas working into his stories. The undercurrent of "non-WASPs are evil because they are repulsive" is as pervasive in his work as "the universe is incomprehensibly vast". You kind of can't get around that.

But there's another thing Lovecraft did to generate revulsion. He wrote a number of stories where an unhealthy focus on corpses, graveyards, graverobbing, and the like is, indirectly or directly, associated with sexual perversion. 

How many, you may ask? Off the top of my head, there's "The Loved Dead", "In the Vault", "The Disinterment", "Pickman's Model", The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath, "The Hound" and "Herbert West: Re-Animator". All of these tales share certain themes, which don't repeat beat-for-beat in each tale but do overlap:

Male character becomes obsessed with dead bodies--whether that's stealing them, having sex with them, desecrating them, or resurrecting them.

He is comfortable around death and the dead to a degree that is unusual, sometimes explicitly stating that he prefers the smells/sights of death to those of life.

Terms like "fiendish", "hellish", "abnormal" and "perverse" are used to describe him; his gaze towards dead bodies or to experiments may be framed as "leering" or "speculative".

He is frequently a twink; often described as being frail, if not noticeably beautiful; he may recall being mocked for being "bookish" or "weak" as a child.

He is superficially charming in a way that gets him by in polite society, but not long-term nor in-depth.

He often ensnares an otherwise "normal" man to share his obsessions, effectively recruiting him as an assistant... until the "normal" guy realizes he's about to go on the chopping block (or, in at least one story, already was on the chopping block).

Their crimes involve a lot of sneaking around late at night, locked doors, whispering so they don't get caught (or they'll be killed), secretiveness, glee at getting away with it, and frequently, sharing the same living space.

The Unrepentant Evil Dude is often killed at the end of his tale in a way that implies vigilante/mob justice is at hand. 

The other may be allowed to live if he's very sorry and frames the whole story as being the fault of the other guy, or he may die too while affirming his horrible demise as just, even if it terrifies him.

(One could make an argument that Wilbur Whateley fits into some of these tropes. It's me I'm one)

If this all sounds very gay, Lovecraft probably would have agreed. He had as dim a view of homosexuality as he did on most other things that were Outside The Norm. In other words, we were supposed to see Richard Upton Pickman with his ghouls and think, "Ah, yes, this is a metaphor for queerness", only we were supposed to be revolted by that revelation.

This same attempt at revulsion can be easily read into Victor Frankenstein, and probably more Mad Scientists than I can name offhand (but feel free to in reblogs). Frankenstein's "crimes against nature" were connected to dead bodies as well, and likewise involved a lot of sneaking around, locked doors, and worry about what would happen were he caught with this naked man-thing he's keeping in his dorm. His crime, as with his parody character Herbert West, is creating life outside the bounds of heterosexual cisgender sex. This was meant to revolt readers' sensibilities as much as the whole cutting-up-corpses-and-stitching-them-back-together thing would.

This is why, if we're being honest, "Re-Animator" and "Bride of Re-Animator" are not necessarily gay… they're homophobic. This might be controversial, but stick with me.

I feel like Gordon and Yuzna were tapping into that old-fashioned Revulsion Handbook, including from the source material, which thematically linked Herbert West with queerness. (I'm using "queer" a lot here, but I would personally include trans-friendly readings under that rubric; I'm using "queer" in the analytical sense and not solely in the identity sense.) This means that, ironically, a lot of what we could point to as queer subtext is actually homophobic text.

This is reinforced by the novelization of the first film, written by a homophobe who got Trumpist brainworms later in life. He wanted to make West repulsive to the reader, and therefore, he tried to make West more gay. And IT WORKED. 

To be clear, I'm not accusing anybody, other than the novelist, of being a homophobe. There's a difference between possessing internalized bigoted beliefs which express themselves in writing, versus utilizing tropes originating in bigotry because That's What's Done Around Here. (I can understand why others might not perceive a meaningful difference.) Like the Cuzco lizards, this queerness-as-villainy is definitely a stupid thing ported in from the source material.

I do think that this is why everybody but Our Queen Barbara Crampton seems embarrassed or nonplussed by all the transfags pestering them about fellatio tapes. It's because they don't get why this thing appeals so much to us. It shouldn't. If anything, they should be canceled for having yet another queer-coded villain, along with a number of other plot choices of questionable taste (I'm looking at you, The Head Scene, and I don't like what I see).

Only, uh, it didn't work out that way long-term, did it?

I thank Cronenberg and venereal horror for this, in part. Brutally queer despite not being explicitly gay, venereal horror is what happens when the characters should be revolted, but aren't. 

This kind of thing is horrifying for crossing the line twice: first by being disgusting, then by having characters respond as though it is exciting, or sexually stimulating, or if nothing else, normal. They are perverse. They leer at the dead and the subjects of their experiments. And the disgusting monsters at the center of these narratives are celebrated. Their twisted sexualities are explored with the same brave frankness other filmmakers give to milquetoast cishet missionary nonsense. Their political views are given life and air, and usually, they're right. Their deaths, if they come at all, are framed as tragedies brought on by society's sick rejection of the flesh their brave experimentation.

Cronenberg's the dude who unironically thinks that Shivers (trigger warning for literally everything) has a happy ending. My man David's got subscriptions where others have issues.

Venereal horror has given us a new metaframework for looking at the repulsive, the monstrous, and the problematic and responding to it… differently.

Now here's another thing: Lovecraft likewise provided a structure for embracing the grotesque and the queer.

Pickman, the Decadent artist, paints photorealistic, enormous portraits of ghouls. Literal flesh-eaters. He is fascinated by them, comfortable with them. "Model" heavily implies that Pickman is a ghoul changeling--switched at birth with a human child. This leans into Lovecraft's ideas about heritability being a major source of horror, of course, and seems run of the mill until you get to The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath.

In there, Pickman appears again, but this time as a ghoul. He has cast off his human social shackles and joined the beings he loves, beings who understand him and support him. Kadath is notable in that the ghouls are actually... like... reliable, loyal, and morally good? Carter's opinion pretty much is, "They do eat human corpses and they smell awful, but they're all very nice and want to help me on my quest, so maybe they're not so bad (if not as good as the cat army)".

This feels like Lovecraft acknowledging that his entire approach of linking queerness, death, and revulsion is fundamentally flawed. Once you become familiar with the repulsive, it becomes not-really-that-repulsive-at-all. You can find beauty in it, and amusement, and love. Pickman embracing his ghoulish nature isn't all that different from Seth Brundle's overall lack of revulsion at his body's transformation. And it's not that different from what a lot of transmasculine folks go through, either.

It's not that transmascs, trans men, and/or transfags don't see what West does as crimes against nature. It's that we're all very fucking tired of being accused of crimes against nature. We're tired of not being able to look at socmed without finding accusations that we're disgusting perverts who sneak around behind closed doors to corrupt innocent, promising people to be our lackeys and partners in crime.

Hell, I refer to my wife as "my partner in crime" not because it's a cute way of acknowledging how well and how much we work together both in life and creativity. It's also because we could have been arrested for our relationship when we got together.

We were illegal.

There was a lot of sneaking around and whispering and trying not to get caught and "what if they call the cops on us if we're clocked". Can I tell my friends about this? Will they reject me or rat me out? Where am I safe? Nowhere. Best to lock the door and then check it again to be sure. Best to be very quiet.

Best to act like a graverobber trying to get their grisly wares back home before good, decent, Christian folk see them.

So when I hear "Blasphemy? Before what God?!", I read it as (whether he's ace or aro, gay or achillean, trans man or transmasc or genderfucked) a queer slogan of defiance, instead of a defense of graverobbing, corpse desecration, and non-consensual resurrection.

We're told we and our bodies are repulsive, so being told that Herbert is also repulsive makes him more relatable. Instead of wondering what the hell's wrong with him for shooting up reagent, we all theorize that it's actually T or has similar effects--because we're all told that T is a toxin that will horribly change and disfigure our bodies. He dresses in a three-piece suit for school, and instead of reading him as a stiff and overly-formal little freak, we assume he's layering up because he hasn't found a hoodie he likes yet. 

He cackles at his horrific creations, and instead of saying "What a fucking freak (anguished)", we say "What a fucking freak (affectionate)" and laugh along with him. Who among us hasn't taken apart our Barbies and tried to combine their parts with the Kens? What is a doll, or a human, but a collection of parts to be rearranged? Haven't we also been told we're freaks for rearranging our own parts?

We've already been told by society at large that we are Herbert West. We're just embracing it, in the proud tradition of venereal horror fans who are not revolted when they ought to be, and I think that's delightful.

[ar-cadez]

Count Duckula Fan Rewrite!!

Recently I’ve been working on a Count Duckula rewrite that aims to give it a slightly more serious tone and semi-serialized story like many modern cartoons! It took some time, but I made redesigns of the main cast. I had fun making this project and I REALLY hope you do too! Because I’m extremely nervous that the small fan base Count Duckula does have will hate this

I haven’t actually finished the show btw so if there’s an antagonist or smth that shows up later I should’ve redesigned.. lmk! I’m open to suggestions I really like this show..

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Basic Concept

Practically the same as the original show! There is a long line of reincarnations of a wicked vampire duck named Count Duckula, the most recent reincarnation went wrong and now the current Count is a vegetarian and much more interested in becoming famous than being evil.

Some major differences include the tone and story structure, being semi-serialized and having more serious arcs mixed in with the antics, along with a lot of changes in characterization. A big story change is also that Nanny was not hired until AFTER Duckula was reincarnated so Igor was the one who screwed up the ritual.

Tone wise I’d also like to slightly age up the target audience so it could get away with a bit more dark humour. My favourite part of the original show was moments that were just so morbid and completely brushed past. 13+ would be fine methinks.

Basic plot of the average episode would be about the count’s hyperfixation of the week and trying to get famous or profit from it. Not every episode would follow this structure though.

The grander themes of the series would be all about expectations from family and strangers and how those expectations can be completely false.

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Characters

^^ Final lineup! ^^

Sketches (less interesting poses but shows off some things better)

Count Duckula!

What I wanted to change

I feel like Duckula from the original spin-off was already a really strong character! There is a lot to him and really all I would want from a more emotional reboot is to dive into what’s already there. I did kinda project on him a bit in this rewrite though… gotta write what’cha know!

I also changed his design quite a bit. I never thought the suit fit his personality and I wanted to go with something a little more bright. If I go back again I might saturate his shirt a bit more. I also wanted all the residents of castle Duckula to have purple in their designs and for duckula and Towser to share similar colour’s inversed

Character Traits

Hatred of his legacy

Duckula is the first member of his lineage to not be an evil vampire and he hates that role that is expected of him. This is partially what drives him to be the nicest duck he can be, in hopes of shaking off his legacy. This also causes him to reject anything that's “spooky” or has to do with vampires. He physically can't eat meat or blood due to his botched resurrection, but even the sight of either distresses him.

Attention Drive

Due to his infamy, all Duckula wants is to be liked by the general public. Everyone in his town is automatically scared of him and he tries really hard to change their opinions on him whether that be through attempting to bea good samaritan or by performing in town. (Both tend to end poorly for him)

ADHD and Theatre Kid Behaviour

Duckula is constantly picking up and putting down new forms of art and performance. This can be anything from oil painting to American football. He does tend to get frustrated or distracted and abandon projects or crafts entirely. His favourite artform is acting and music so as you can imagine he's very into musicals. His musical talents are decent but his acting is awful. He’s also known to loud and overly excited over his interests

Ego and Cowardice

Being given a position of power the day you came into existence does have the tendency to make you… immature to say the least. When in danger, if he even realises there is any, Duckula’s first move is to use his title as leverage. If that doesn't work, his second is to beg, grovel, and lie his way out of the situation. That, or hide behind his much more intimidating companions.

Rich Kid Syndrome

Having the majority of people you know be your house staff really messes with your sense of responsibility. Duckula can hardly do many basic life skills on his own because of this. It's not like he is completely lazy but he does have executive dysfunction and has yet to realise that fact, causing him to procrastinate on many things and completely forget or just get someone else to do it.

Not Naturally kind

Being his father’s reincarnation, it only makes sense that Duckula would inherit many traits from his past lives. Many of the other Counts were ego-driven cowards with desires for fame. They just went about it differently. Duckula actively tries to be kind and polite but a lot of passive aggression and snark slips through the cracks of that veneer. He would never want to admit that he has ANYTHING in common with his ancestors and he hates that being nice doesn't just come naturally to him. Being an immortal, Duckula also has a skewed sense of mortality and often doesn't understand the severity of certain injuries and situations.

This Duckula has ADHD and Autism in this rewrite and he struggles most with executive dysfunction, restricted interests, memory issues, atypical empathy (not specifically low or high), sensory issues (mostly with eating and some sound), and social cues. He also stims.

Towser!

What I Wanted to Change

Towser isn’t even really a character in the original. Just a running gag without a face. I wanted to balance out the main cast by adding another female character since I have feelings on Nanny as a character and i didn’t know if i would even be able to salvage that.

I really like what I came up with! She’s fun to me and I’ll probably flesh her out more later.

Character Traits

Family drive

Towser has little interest in birds that aren't close to her and it usually takes awhile for her to get used to new people. However, she’ll protect those that she does care about with her life. She is the castle’s guard dog and will do whatever’s necessary to protect it. This often comes at the cost of her sleep, because she feels like she always needs to be awake to protect them.

Tag Along

Following Duckula around like a puppy is what Towser does best! She might not fully understand his enthusiasm on certain subjects, but she's always up to backing him up on his newest fame seeking endeavours (though she herself prefers physical activity over creative works). She never expects anything to come of it, but hey, at least it's something to do. She also likes to hear Duckula rant to her about his interests.

Big Sister

Towser is of a much more stable mental state than Duckula, and as his only friend around his age, he trusts her more to be someone to talk to about his identity issues and issues in general. The two are a lot warmer towards each other than they are anyone else, and can also get away with messing with the other a lot more.

Big ol Lap dog

When in werewolf form, Towser tends to forget her size and often crushes them with her size. This usually wouldn't be a problem if it weren't for the fact that she's always a lot more cuddly and energetic in wolf form than bird form. This is because, as a werewolf, she's only in wolf form at night and being a fully nocturnal bird that should only be awake at night, this messes with her sleep rhythm a lot.

Igor!

What I wanted to Change

Personality wise Igor is already really strong and I didn’t change much of that. You’ll probably notice from the sketches that Igor has a skeleton hand, that’s because I made him undead in this version just to give a reason to how he’s been able to live this long since the original doesn’t really have one (which is fine)

Character Traits

Devotion to the role

Igor has been the Count’s butler since the first incarnation. He was assigned to keep the Duckula legacy alive by reincarnating his master every time he meets his fate and helping him readjust every time. Helping each new reincarnation bring misery and fear to the town they reside by with a smile… Until the most recent incarnation of course. He’ll stick it out though, because he still has hope for him.

Taste for the macabre

Whether it be killing innocents behind the back of his new master, decorating the castle with cobwebs and bones, or using his undead nature to scare and torture those around him, Igor certainly has an interesting idea of fun. Igor gets a sick enjoyment out of causing others distress and despises all things kind and cute, something which definitely frustrates Duckula, who's desperately trying to fix his own image.

Bitter Traditionalist

Having lived through the centuries in castle Duckula, Igor has gained an appreciation for the history of the place and the vampire ducks that have resided there over the years. He’s rather invested in the lives of his previous masters and is extremely cross with the newest incarnation for not only not caring about that past, but also completely disowning it. Igor tries desperately to get Duckula to be a normal vampire, truly believing it could work with enough effort. Less he spend the next few centuries with a vegetarian for a master… Igor would not have a problem with Duckula pursuing fame if it weren't for the fact that he thinks it's distracting him from true vampirism.

Tired old man

Igor has lived for many centuries and he does not feel as if he should have to babysit for an immature man child like Duckula. He would rather ignore or snark the young count rather than actually talk to him. When the two argue its a constant back and forth of passive aggression and personal jobs that they almost always forget what they're actually arguing over. Duckula is physically and mentally very young (17-early 20s) compared to Igor’s other masters due to the botched revival and he doesn't know how to, or want to, deal with it.

Nanny!

What I Wanted to Change

I’m sorry to any hardcore Nanny fans out there but this is practically a whole new character. I find Nanny to be frustrating and annoying in the original and who I personally feel is a very sexist and mean spirited character. There’s absolutely nothing I would want to write with a character who’s just “big stupid fat woman inconveniences everyone around her” it’s just uncomfortable after a certain point.

My idea for a new take was just an extremely kind older woman who’s a little airheaded but is a lot smarter than people give her credit for. This sets her up as a foil to Igor. She’s also the only non-monster resident of the castle in this version which I personally think is really interesting.

Character Traits

Only good influence

While Igor actively sets out to make Duckula a bad person and Towser couldn't care less about how Duckula acts, Nanny is the only direct influence in Duckula’s life who pushes him to do better. Nanny believes Duckula is a good person at heart and pushes him to take more responsibility in his life. She wants him to learn a good work ethic and is fully supportive of him trying to better himself.

Good Christian Woman

Nanny is, in fact, a christian. She is fully aware of the demonic nature of her companions but believes that everyone can better themselves no matter their circumstances and attempts to better those around her. Igor hates her for it but she’s totally ignorant to that fact.

Assertive Mother Figure

Though Nanny is a very kind woman, she is also not a pushover. She will assert authority over Duckula and anyone else if necessary, and most are compliant once she puts her foot down, if they aren't, however, Nanny does pack a punch and won't hesitate to use her strength to protect her family.

Smarter than she seems

Nanny is an airheaded optimist with a big heart and those traits make her come off a lot more clueless than she actually is. She may seem like she has no idea what’s going on but she’s actually very observant and is fantastic at assessing a situation and finding the best course of action.

Dr. Von Goosewing

What I Wanted to Change

I really liked the idea of the antagonist to Duckula was in a liniage of vampire slayers and that their ancestors have been fighting for generations. It gave me the perfect set up for a ✨SHADOW ANTAGONIST✨ I wanted to make this rewrite have the two reflect each other a lot more. To do that I wanted Goosewing to still be a really cooky guy but I didn’t want the public to know that.

Also I have no idea why he’s dressed like Sherlock Holmes in the original if he’s a Van Helsing parody and also an inventor. You could’ve leaned into either of those ideas but for some reason he’s dressed like a detective? so I tried giving him a more fitting outfit but keeping his colours for recognisablity.

Character Traits

Playing Village hero

Goosewing is considered a big deal in town because of his family of vampire hunters. He’s prepared his whole life to kill Count Duckula the moment he comes back and to protect the common folk from the paranormal. Despite this, Goosewing isn't actually particularly skilled at his job and usually ends up failing his assassinations due to his own incompetence. He feels like he has to play the role as a hero to continue his family’s legacy despite not particularly enjoying it or being good at it.

Overestimating the enemy

With how cunning and malevolent the past Duckula incarnations were, Goosewing expects the same from this one. Goosewing believes that Duckula is a dangerous and clever foe completely focused on causing others pain. In reality, Duckula is the most incompetent bird in all of Transylvania, aside fromGoosewing himself, of course. Goosewing also comes to believe that Duckula is only acting nice to later betray the public, a belief he is not quiet about and that keeps the public from trusting Duckula.

Mad Scientist

Goosewing definitely falls into the eccentric scientist trope with his innovative but scatterbrained nature. He would much rather be working on an invention than actually doing his job. The public sees him as a hero but while hunting vampires or when hes alone he comes off as more of a mad scientist than the hero character he plays. His intentions are ultimately good but are completely based on the assumption that he’s the wholly good protector of the people and that Duckula is a cunning villain who's out to get him and everyone else.

Shadow

Goosewing and Duckula reflect each other in a lot of ways. They both have a legacy they are expected to uphold despite not wanting to or even being able to, they both care deeply about the public’s opinion on them while the public has an incredibly incorrect view of the both of them, and they both have creative interests outside of the roles expected of them that they'd rather be persuing. Duckula fully rejects anything to do with his ancestry, while Goosewing is actively trying to fulfil despite not enjoying it.

The Murder Brothers!

What I Wanted to Change

Haha I called them the murder brothers bc they’re crows and criminals Im actually so funny… anyway. I don’t know if I should’ve even done these guys but I really like them as antagonists so!!

I gave the younger two names and a personality. The wiki said they didn’t have names but if they do lmk and I’ll just fix that. Other than that I didn’t change much except try to give ‘em a bit more depth and changing their physical designs a ton for fun.

Character Traits

The Murder Brothers, as a whole, are a tight knit family of con men crows who pull any grift they can to get their hands on some cash. Though they may act like their only loyalty in life is to money, they do genuinely care about each other's well being

Ruffles

Ruffles is the short tempered and eldest leader of the group. He’s constantly frustrated with his brothers’ incompetence and isn't quiet about it. He believes that if it weren't for them he'd probably be a lot further in life by now (which isn't true) and he’ll say he doesn't care about them, but he actually does.

Burt

If he didn't insist on helping his brothers, Burt would be the most likely to be living an honest life. As the second oldest sibling, Burt holds a position as right hand man. He’s a naturally kind and enthusiastic bird who, while a bit dumb, does openly express his love for his brothers. He takes on a lot of the abuse from his older brother and is often used by the group to talk to others, because he's so naturally trustworthy.

Reggie

Reggie is the second youngest of the brothers and the most relaxed out of all of them. He has an impeccable sleight of hand and is the go to for lockpicking and such. He’s a decent smooth talker and is often the one to break up fights, though he's not above getting angry at the others himself.

Leroy

Leroy is the youngest of the brothers and by far the least skilled. His speech is incomprehensible from under his mask (although he can see through it for the most part) and he’s often left with the worst jobs during their cons because of that. He’s the most timid out of all of them but I’m sure if you took that mask off of him he’d be really talkative.

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Ending Words

Well that’s all I got! I spent way too long on this project that maybe two people will care about and one of them is me 💔 Anyway if I make anything else for this rewrite/au I’ll tag it with #wbcd . I wouldn’t count on it because I mighttt get burn out from this but im just so glad I finished it! I’ve thought about writing a pilot script just for fun but idk. I’d like to do more long format au stuff, I was going to make a YouTube video about this but I almost cried trying to record myself so I gave up 💔

[saschax]

ghost headcannons.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: intense negative emotions (experiences strong feelingsof anger, resentment, anxiety, and stress), grudge holding (hold onto negative feelings), emotional surpression, isolation and touch deprivation (isolated and unaccustomed to phsyical contact, which he yearns for), trauma-related fear, sexual anxiety, mental distress (experiences a lot of mental distress and anxiety, which is exacerbated during intimate situations.) nsfw (sexual content)

safe for work.

ghost is an individual who is deeply angered, seeking vengeance, and filled with intense resentment.

contrary to the popular belief that ghost is understanding, compassionate, or forgiving, i personally perceive him as stern, and he has a tendency to hold onto grudges.

although he might seem “peaceful” on the surface, there’s a storm brewing within him, as he suppresses his anger. this is a detrimental habit of his. in general, his internal emotional state is typically dominated by anxiety, stress, hatred, and fury.

ghost is isolated…

in my opinion. he is deprived of physical contact, but it doesn’t help when he recoils or twitches every time someone accidentally brushes against him. ghost struggles to communicate that he doesn’t dislike the touch, he’s just not accustomed to it (and in fact, he yearns for it more than anything), but he keeps this to himself.

building on the previous point, he is fearful of intimate gestures.

such as hand-holding, close proximity (he doesn’t mind this if it occurs during missions, as long as it’s necessary. e.g., door breaching), and so forth. this fear stems from his traumatic experiences with such gestures…

i believe this is referred to as haphephobia?

ghost has a leaner physique.

in my view. he is strong, but not overly muscular. he’s not leaner than soap or any other guys, though, he’s still a bit more muscular than them.

his build aligns with the original ghost’s, just with a bit more muscle to support the current one.

ghost falls ill frequently.

since ghost doesn’t really take good care of himself, such as getting adequate sleep or consuming enough food/drinks, he tends to fall sick easily.

and he never discloses this to anyone and continues to carry out his missions.

ghost experiences nightmares during his sleep.

and because his dreams are so vivid, he temporarily forgets a person (like soap, if he is dreaming about soap. e.g., soap gets brutally attacked) for a while when he wakes up.

his brain temporarily suppresses certain memories of his to shield him from stress, but they always resurface later…

not safe for work.

ghost is timid, hesitant.

it’s already a small wonder if you somehow manage to have him above you, he’s not accustomed to being this exposed and he feels like he’s on the verge of being sick.

he’s just… unfamiliar with this, trembling the entire time.

this is the real him, a guy with full of anxiety, troubles. a guy who is told to "hide your fear", and don't show weaknesses. his whole fucking walls are falling down because of alot of things are going through his head.

he tends to pause frequently.

don’t worry if he pauses his thrusts, it’s just him reflecting on… certain matters.

you’ll need to gently draw him out of his thoughts if you want him to continue, his eyes fixated on the pillow, lost in thought, is making you worried.

P.S i always imagined ghost as person with mental problems, considering his backstory.

please let me know if this is not canon! i am german so i dont really know the plot very well, im still learning.

(i dont know english pronouncations, just how to type the words)

ill be posting a "dominant and needy" john price fanfiction tomorrow, unknown time. its nsfw.

[pojofi96]

Finally 😈 a chance to talk about my mans

Short answer is yes obvi but like his character, my thoughts on this are a bit more complicated.

In the flashbacks we see showing his life “before”, he was shown to be an exemplary dad - but of course, this would inevitably change somewhat with being traumatized. Hanzo at his core is a flawed person and the very essence of his story lies in his humanity - most notably, his mistakes and circumstances - and how he copes with his own earned consequences + just straight up awful luck. This is inevitably going to reflect on how he tutors/raises children and MKX Blood Ties illustrates this well with his treatment of Takeda.

Throughout most of Takeda’s shown upbringing, Hanzo is shown to be in a tetchy mental state and it makes him prone to being overly harsh when scolding him for a minor mistake. You get the feeling Hanzo is purposely trying to keep him at a careful emotional distance as strictly “teacher and student”, even though it’s evident that their relationship is more through their own shared needs of familial bonds. It’s not abuse by any stretch of the imagination but the distinction between a “tutor” and a “father” is important to remember when examining their relationship. There’s a plentitude of potential reasons that Hanzo could have for acting like this given his past and what he lost, so you can’t truly blame this aspect of his character for being any fault of his own. Again, he is only a man making sense of the circumstances that were thrust upon him. But this inevitably would affect how he “raises” people.

The comic goes deeper into Hanzo’s mental state and how his hellfire works in the first place - and it’s here that we see something crucial. At it’s core, his utilization of it (i.e. how he has to relive the most traumatic event of his life every time he uses it to put himself in a bad headspace) is counterintuitive by design to his own growth and recovery. His strength, his most defining battle trait, is also what’s dragging him down. Objectively, Hanzo would have to let down his own personal guards (not use his hellfire) to keep from falling back into bad habits. But the current state of his life - strife with combat and the constant threat of sudden gorey death - doesn’t allow room for his emotional growth. On top of that he’s responsible for the well being of a kid, so he doesn’t have room to think about himself - he has to put Takeda first. But that also begs the question of if he had the chance to escape that life - would he? Does he have the capability to let down his hellfire when it’s because of his hellfire that he’s still even alive?

He’s not truly doomed but Hanzo believes to his core that he is and this is one of his biggest obstacles to his self recovery - this belief makes him lash out and self-sabotage - and it keeps him from really making any remarkable progress in getting better.

That being said, I was genuinely surprised to see the reactions for this tweet mostly being unconditionally positive on Hanzo’s side. What I’m trying to say is that Hanzo is far from perfect, he’s far from a perfect mentor and a perfect father. He’s still a good person at heart though - he does his best and Hanzo’s biggest flaw at the end of the day is the result of being human in hellish circumstances. It’s worth noting that Takeda in the end grew up to be an upstanding young man who feels very positively about his father-figure-mentor… so Hanzo did remarkably well overall, a lot better than most people could do in those same conditions. But all the replies being like “Anyone who says no deserves to be executed” feels like they’re missing something crucial about him. Him being attractive doesn’t absolve him of accountability!

In canon, he’s more accurate to the relative that we know has had a rough life that we all have complicated feelings about.

[pseudo-hero]

A Hopefully Quick Compare/Contrast of Lex and Bruce; Clark and Lex; Bruce and Joker (Et. al.)

"Batman is basically Luthor but good."

"Luthor is basically Batman but bad."

No and no.

I think it's high time that fandoms (DC's in this case) finally start to put an end to overly simplistic—if not downright false—takes and conclusions like this.

Like, I don't mean to sound wrongfully condescending (because I know Lex and Bruce definitely have at least a few traits in common, on average), but I don't understand how anyone who has actually tried to dig at the cores of these two characters (and their respective hero/villain) could make statements like these and then just call it a day.

Again, nooo.

Lex Luthor, if he "became good" (ignoring the emotional journey he's currently going through right now in recent Superman comics) would not be Batman. He'd be Superman!

You want to know why? It's because Lex, arguably since at least his inception in the Superman comics and Action Comics, has not been written to be the "dark mirror"/shadow of Batman, but of Superman.

Almost everything that makes Clark so amazingly gifted and inspiring, Lex has also—but in a twisted or far less appealing way.

Likewise, a "bad/evil Superman" (if written well and not like just another murder-happy blatant tyrant) would be Luthor!

Imagine a Superman that, after self-actualizing, chooses to selfishly mold the world to his image without care for the opinions of the people, but with the same hopeful, altruistic mindset and aspirational worldview that we're used to. In that sense, he'd be less wantonly cruel and preoccupied with spreading fear everywhere he went and more-so misguidedly paternalistic and smothering. So similar to his usual self, but far worse. More like....(a tough-on-crime) Lex Luthor.

I'd argue that Superman: Red Son illustrates an amazing example of this within its pages. I won't say that it's "perfect" (I don't do that with anything, tbh.) but seeing USSR-Superman and America-Lex Luthor be true equals on the mental plane and somewhat physical and even moral, too (but with differing worldviews), is somehow very refreshing and satisfying to see. Highly recommend reading it, even if only out of curiosity.

Now as for Batman? Based on my understanding of him, his shadow self is most likely the obvious choice of the Joker, or may even be Bane or Two-Face. Bruce has a lot of issues, but he (mostly, usually) has not reached the depths of depravity that these three have, especially the Joker. He could, though. That being said, could and would they be Batman if things had been different for any of them? I believe so. Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't they come out with just such a Batman-Joker graphic novel a year or two ago?

However, I don't think any of these Batman villains could ever have been Superman. But Kal-El's pretty hard to match anyway. Just ask Lex.

[lostindarkclouds]

🩸Alastor x Reader Fanfiction 🩸

[Part2]

If you haven't read Part 1, you can find it on my account.

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Today should have been a normal day when Alastor went to visit his dear friend.

Obviously Alastor has been observing you for a few days. (She's not overly attracted to you yet. She goes about her life normally. The radio station, Rosie's shop, and hazbin Hotel are his most frequent destinations.)

He is currently sitting on a wooden chair. His wand is against the wall. He is holding his coffee and watching the whole mess.

Rosie carefully shuffles the outfits and asks you to try on the outfits she's sewn.You are very satisfied with Rosie. He's a good boss. She does her job with great care and pays her salary on time.You like working here, but this guy...

You are so bothered by him.

The man is always smiling, his every move is full of grace. His gait, tone of voice, and looks always carry meaning and are flawless. He's a little arrogant... No, he's very arrogant. He speaks kindly, but he can be harsh whenever he wants, you know that.You've never had a long conversation with him, but you seem to know him.

It must be because you're both observing each other...Bright red eyes meet bright blue eyes. It's all just a glance.

This man is giving goosebumps.

Rosie hands a black outfit and quickly pushes you into the booths.

After you enter the cabin, Alastor looks at Rosie for the first time for a long time. Rosie approaches Alastor with an ear-to-ear grin.

"I see you more often these days. Not that I'm complaining. It's good to see you, Alastor."

"Oh what can I say Rosie! I love seeing good company!"

Alastor dramatically puts his hand on his forehead.

Rosie looks at Alastor with expressive eyes.Rosie is a smart woman and she knows what's going on.He knew from the first moment that Alastor was interested in this man.Rosie and Alastor have been friends for a long time. This indicates that they have been observing each other for a long time.(Alastor and Rosie's friendship is different from the normal friendship we know. They had no emotional exchanges. Sometimes they shared memories of better times.But neither of them know much about each other.I mean, because their mindsets match, friends.)

When you entered the cabin, you didn't have much thought about the outfit. As you slowly started to wear the outfit, you realized what kind of outfit it was.

First of all, it was like a long dress. It had a large neckline and was made of black lace. Its design was like a frilly shirt.Rosie always likes to sew weird clothes.You like his clothes too.After all, they are of good quality and fit the demon in many different bodies.But this time the outfit was a little different from the ones she had tried before. That's a little sexy.

(basically the dress is a see-through black lace dress resembling a nightgown.)

"Uhm Miss Rosie?" You called out to Rosie as you slowly opened the cabin door.

Rosie quickly opened the cabin door and grabbed your arm and led you outside.

"Oh dear you are an Angel! This beauty! I can't imagine this outfit would look good on anyone but you!"

Rosie quickly turned around. "What do you think, Alastor?"

While Rosie looks at Alastor, you look at Alastor curiously through the mirror's reflection. Alastor is leaning slightly forward, holding his wand in his hand. (Where's the coffee cup?🙄)

"The clothes you sew have always been number one in the Pride Ring, Rosie!"

Alastor looks at you with a strange look. Eye color appears to be darker. His eyes still glow with a red light. His voice is deep.

"I must admit that with a beautiful model her outfits are more striking."

The wand hits the ground rhythmically and the man suddenly stands up.

You feel cold.

The man says goodbye to Rosie and you and then leaves.

Rosie sighs...

This guy is giving Rosie a lot of trouble and scaring our Y/N. 🤧

Part 3 is coming soon.

[masterjedilenawrites]

How would you imagine the delta boys to react or what they would do when they get back after a rough mission??

Aww this image of battered, downcast Deltas made me so sad... 😢 I just want to protect and love them, your honor.

Boss: Holds himself together for a bit. There's plenty of debriefings and paperwork to get through once they're back, and it won't do for him to be emotional during any of it. He's also hyper-sensitive to the feelings of his squad and he doesn't want to feed into their misery with his own. He won't be overly positive, but he'll maybe try a small pep talk or some comforting shoulder pats as they separate to cope in their own ways. The first time Boss is alone is when he hits the showers, and that's when he'll finally acknowledge his own feelings. He'll let himself take a longer shower than normal, indulging in the hot water hitting his skin while he stands there, motionless and melancholy. There may even be a few frustrated tears that get swept away with the water.

Fixer: Is such a grumpy boy. He doesn't like missions that don't end well, that don't go according to plan. He will be analyzing every detail from the mission, mulling it over and over in his head to figure out what went wrong, and venting about it to anyone who will listen. He never puts names to his feelings, let alone give himself the time or space to properly deal with them. His anger comes out in his speech, clipped and annoyed. His fear becomes pools of sweat along his hairline. His guilt manifests into tinkering and planning, trying to find improvements in both technology and strategy so the difficulties they faced today don't persist into the future. His name is Fixer for a reason; he will not rest until he finds a way to fix whatever broke on this mission.

Scorch: Is simply tuckered out. He will be uncharacteristically quiet as he shuffles his feet out of the ship and toward home base. The playful glint usually found in his eyes has been dimmed as he fights off his exhaustion. He sits numbly through the debriefs and for once doesn't have any quippy retorts when told what to do. As soon as he is able, he collapses onto any decently comfy surface and sleeps for a good, long while. He really can't process such devastating emotions, not when they're so fresh, so intense. He can't fully sleep them off, but the nap diminishes their sting, and allows him to get some of his spunk back, too. When he wakes, he'll be back to his usual self, but will have random moments of melancholy as he slowly processes the events of the mission.

Sev: On the outside, he doesn't seem much different, simply dark and broody as always. But on the inside, he's hurting. Bad. Nothing gets him down quite like a failed mission. He takes full responsibility, even for the things outside of his control. He can't help it. If fighting is the one thing he was made for, how could he brush off failure? Whether or not these feelings come to the surface depends on who he's around. If Fixer is pacing about and venting, then Sev will likely blow up in anger. If Scorch crashes on the bunk next to him, Sev will sit in contemplative silence for as long as his brother sleeps. And a shoulder pat from Boss? However quick or innocent, that's what impacts Sev the most. He'll disappear and let himself cry over the comforting gesture.

Everything Tag: @damerondala, @dangerousstrawberrypie, @fallingforthem, @harleyevanstan, @imabeautifulbutterfly, @justanothersadperson93, @misogirl828, @itsagrimm, @error6gendernotfound, @theroguesully, @clonesimp, @techie-bear

+Delta Squad Tag: @marvel-starwars-nerd, @hanbetired, @lackofhonor, @theclonesdeservebetter, @salaminus, @katzs-current-obsession, @rebel-finn, @the-mom-friend-dot-com, @pickle-rick-y, @flowered-bicycles, @lucyysthings, @severalseashellsbytheseashore, @moon-wrecked

(Join my tag list here)

[masterthespianduchovny]

I do not dislike Michelle Keller, formerly Michelle Lasso, but I do dislike how the series and most fans either refuse to criticize her or defend her.

I understand that fans, esp women, are compelled to defend Michelle because she’s a woman and women are overly criticized and dragged unnecessarily at times. I get that. However, there would be think pieces about Michelle is she were Michael. And I truly hate this current trend of pretending everything is different when it’s a woman involved.

It’s quite strange how people are so sad for Ted being made to feel like he’s too much—hmm, I wonder who made him feel that way—and are rooting for him to have a happy ending with someone who accepts him as he is. Then when you directly criticize Michelle, it’s a ton of excuses about how separation/divorce is hard, Ted wouldn’t be transparent with her, and so forth.

While this is true, intentionally or not, Michelle still hurt Ted in a major way. And, I don’t know about you all, but I believe you should still apologize for hurting someone even if it wasn’t intentional.

Michelle became short tempered with him and had an issue whenever he tried to do things for her. While her reaction wasn’t malicious, there’s nothing wrong with, “hey, I know you meant well. I just—it’s hard being around you and having this life with you when I don’t even feel like I know you. I shouldn’t have lashed out. You didn’t deserve that.”

Boom!

This NEVER happens.

Michelle never has to take any accountability for the things she’s down, which we know has a major effect on Ted. Essentially, people are arguing he deserved that treatment all while saying, “poor Ted.”

Michelle making Ted feel bad for saying “I love you.” I understand Michelle was going through her own shit, but Christ! Would we defending her if the genders were switched? I’ll need to rewatch the episode to really dig into that, but it felt unnecessarily cruel even if she didn’t intend for it to be so.

Someone will correct me on this, but Michelle and ted separate in February and by March of that same year she’s pushing for ted to sign divorce papers. It’s not like he’s a busy man or anything??? Literally most divorces, esp considering how long they’d been married, take a while to happen. Ted fucking granted her the divorce without her even asking and was kind about the entire thing and Michelle is pushing for a divorce within the month.

Is that not strange?

I honestly think this was just a bad writing choice, but my God, I can’t imagine the discourse if Ted was a woman—Thea. And how “Michael” would be dragged for that and people speculating that either they were cheating or wanted to be with new and different women. Not even accounting for how some would relate to “Thea” and how their ex did them dirty.

But again, we can’t talk about that. No matter how fucked up that was, NOPE!

And this recent shit. I don’t even know.

I don’t know if it’s a case of poor writing or not because I don’t think the series is going to go there. Meaning I don’t think the series is going to say Dr. Jacobs groomed Michelle. But let’s keep in mind that he was her therapist originally, and then their marriage counselor. He was the one who fueled Ted’s dislike of therapists and always sided with Michelle. I don’t think Ted even felt like he could be heard.

When Dr. Jacobs realizes it’s Ted, he freezes as if being caught. As if he was cheating with Michelle. Even Michelle is acting suspicious as fuck. There’s no, “I didn’t want him to find out about this, he may take it hard.” It felt like they’d both done something they were supposed to be doing. Both come off as guilty as hell.

Do I think the actually had an affair?

No.

Or maybe it was an emotional affair.

But people love to skip over the shit Michelle does (or inadvertently blame Ted) and it’s fucking annoying. Not necessarily because they don’t pay attention to her, but because the discussion around her behavior when they actually engage with it is either brushing off what she does or defending it.

[akirameta84]

...imagine if part of the reason Aiura made it so Akechi would literally rip out Kuusuke's Rarefaction Cell if it came down to it, was because a part of her wondered if Saiki's collapse was intentional. Rationally she knows that isn't the case. Rationally she knows the only reason Saiki was unable to communicate with anyone was due to him prioritizing survival and a desperate attempt to negotiate via the creation of Aren over talking to anyone. But that doesn't stop a part of her, an overly emotional part of her that's full of anger and grief from wondering if Kuusuke used his seniority privilege to keep Saiki from asking for help. If he drained all the water to cause Saiki's eventual collapse.

Logically she knows otherwise, but that didn't stop her from letting her emotions bleed through in the creation of Akechi and ensuring that no matter what, he will be able to grab Kuusuke's Rarefaction Cell. And no matter what, Saiki will be better off. If it's given up without a fight she'll be happy.

But if there is a fight? She'll feel VINDICATED.

YES agh the emotions

Part of her is also viciously happy about how decayed the Rot has left kuusuke, when her overseers see the inside of his can while following akechi (for the first time in ages because kuusuke is no longer capable of maintaining a lockdown from overseers), simply because it means kuusuke will not be strong enough to stop even a weak slugcat from frolicking in his superstructure, let alone a powerful, purposed one

she feels horribly bad at the same time. but she stays focused on the goal. she knows he has at least one cell left, because zero gravity is still somewhat functional inside of his structure. she just doesn't know if its the only one he has left

when scug akechi gets to it and rips it out, and all anti gravity shuts off...its clear that it actually was his last one. but kuusuke caused the literal death of her closest iterator friend, and with this cell, kusuos communication arrays might become functional again. and besides...the Rot was just going to destroy this rarefaction cell like it had the rest of them.

a lot of her anger dissipates when she sees the sorry state of kuusukes chamber and puppet, but honestly? she mostly feels a sense of bitter revenge. because he got what was coming

shes glad her slugcat didnt stay in the chamber long regardless. she didnt want to see anymore. and he had a duty to do, one her overseers needed to be present to guide him through, because gills or not, the submerged superstructure was still horribly dangerous

also: when akechi enters kusuos chamber, the other slugcats visiting him that cycle nearly maul him on sight because hes holding a suspicious orb that radiates power that could be a bomb for all they know. but kusuo speaks before they can do anything.

"That's...a Mass Rarefaction Cell. The emergency power source of an iterator's superstructure. Even one of them is enough to keep one of us functional. Where...where did you get that?"

the others have marks of communication from their past visits to kuusuke, so they can understand that this is an important object that akechi is amazing for bringing to kusuo

even in his current sorry state, kusuo can piece together the situation. someone in his local group created a purposed organism to deliver a rarefaction cell to him. and he has a guess as to which iterator it was stolen from.

he tells the slugcat where he might find the access shaft to the submerged ruins of his structure anyways, because its already been stolen, so it might as well be delivered to where it needs to go, provided akechi can survive the dangers of the trip, which he does. being able to potentially communicate with his local group again, and access his overseers so he can see places other than his chamber, sounds so nice, too..

thank you for the ask it made me FEEL at 2 in the morning i adore your asks so much <3 at lesst im assuming all this iterator saiki au stuff is thr same person ahdhah maybe even the same person who sent a ton of my scug saiki au asks eheh

regardless tyty again <3

[blondiest]

Can you imagine an easily flustered, shy mello or Near? Who's harder to picture with this personality.

hahaha, i have to say neither of them are particularly easy to picture this way,,, mostly bc i don't actually think Near would fluster that easy (i can more easily see him getting slightly overly enthused / overwhelmed if that makes sense??) and Mello defaults to getting A Little Mad About It whenever confronted with an unfamiliar / uncomfortable emotion (some exceptions for this ofc).

overall i think it's easier for me to imagine Near getting a bit more flustered, esp in a situation in which they're already involved with one another, since i think perhaps in that case he'd feel less of a need to hide his reactions to things?? i'm gonna be totally real right now, it's pretty late here so i reserve the right to clarify / retract some of this tomorrow when i'm more coherent hfhfhggfhfgfgh.

all this being said i'll add that i personally enjoy writing Mello getting flustered more. in his own way, though. TO THE EXCERPTS, FOR CLARIFICATION.

oh. first. special treat for you, since you specifically asked about them being shy. unpublished bit of a WIP that i currently am not actually working on, linked here ❣️

okay. aside from that. literally the entirety of there's nothing i hate more than what i can't have falls into the "mello falling apart" category, but here's a bit i like particularly well:

Near pokes his head in the door, and Mello is hit with the smell of burnt bread. To his great dissatisfaction, the white-haired boy’s eyes don’t stray from Mello’s face for even an instant.

“I burned it the first two times,” Near says. “But I’m trying again.”

“Okay,” Mello says, shifting slightly to let the shirt— Near’s shirt, which by all logic should make it even sexier— fall open a bit more.

Near doesn’t react. The blonde finds himself almost wanting to scream, but instead runs a hand through his hair and looks at Near through half-lidded eyes. It’s a move that, to date, has had a one-hundred percent success rate in getting the attention of potential sex partners.

“I have white grape juice if you would like any,” Near informs him blandly. He is not giving Mello do-me eyes, or any other sign of being affected.

“I’ll pass,” Mello says, trying to sound like he isn’t edging into hysteria.

okay spoilers below this for two other fics lol

from chapter 5 of hot soup on a cold day:

A high-pitched beeping sound pulls Near from slumber a distressingly short period of time later. His head aches slightly from too little sleep, but he hits the “off” button and silences the alarm. Beside him, Mello stirs, blinking blearily up at Near for a few seconds before seemingly waking up all at once. Near watches with dread as the blonde’s face shifts from sleepy relaxation to embarrassment to panic.

“What—!” Mello stammers, mostly failing to muster up a glare. “What the hell are you doing in my bed?!”

The acting is not Mello’s best, to say the least, but he is clearly having a crisis of some kind.

chapter 2 of what doesn't kill me makes me want you more:

Near tilts her head. “You didn’t complain before, when you were kissing me.”

It’s as if a rod is slipped into the other girl’s spine; she goes rigid, then sneers. “That’s because I feel bad for you.”

Near bites back a question— is it common practice for you to kiss people you consider charity cases?— because it’s pointed enough that it could only worsen the situation. “Mello has a kind heart,” she says instead.

That doesn’t go over well, though, anyway.

“Don’t fucking mock me,” Mello spits. “You’re the one who has— you’re the one who’s obsessed with me. I was just taking pity on you.”

uuhhhhh. yeah. anyhow. thank you for the ask!! hopefully this made some kind of sense? it's genuinely hard for me to tell when it's this late in the day jhjgjghfhhhfhh (<- temporarily a european timezone girlie) but it was fun to answer anyways!

[rhazimpulsivelyposts]

It’s wild to see the “everything happens for a reason” dominos fall into place, almost in slow motion.

So I went for a different position at my job, not because I dislike the position, just that the other position suited the lifestyle I wanted for myself better.

Right before I was going to find out if I got that position or not, I was invited on a surprise late notice week long holiday from my ♌️, and of course I want to go! When is it? About a month or so from then.

I get my passport photo taken, and I joke with my supervisor that he should let me know if I got the spot because I also want to go on holiday. They call me later that day to let me know I didn’t get the spot this time, but I’m a shoe-in for next time.

I wasn’t even sad or bummed out, it was weird. I went into asking for the spot with realistic expectations that I was second pick. That isn’t a dig on me, it’s knowing that someone who has been with the company longer and who’s position is basically backfillable tomorrow, it makes sense it would go to him, and I am happy for him because I know he wanted it too. We both don’t have kids or partners or any real reason to have to be home during the week. (So I thought). I was excited for him and excited for me knowing I could now go to this holiday without it conflicting with any new training or obligations of the new role.

Well going through the steps of preparing for this week long trip out of the country, I had to consult with my doctors about my ADHD medication. Medication that I have been on for over 2 years now, almost 3, that I take every single day. My refil date would of fell within the week I’d be out of the country. I asked them for 3 more pills to hold me over, take it out of my next batch? Nope. Can’t do that sorry. With the type of medication that is, it isn’t allowed. Then when I tried to pick up my medication they wanted to give me 10 extra pills , and make me pay out of pocket for the full 40. … 40?! I asked for 3 extra not 10 what the hell?!

So to make sure I have some for the trip, and don’t run out 3 days before I’m to be home, I’ve started skipping Sundays. I work Monday through Friday no problem right? Does anyone remember the Adderall shortage in 2021? It was over prescribed, patients couldn’t get it, so their doctors started branching out and prescribing them any other ADHD drug they could find, causing all of them to short, not just Adderall. During this time , trying to conserve my medication and listening to my doctor at the time who said “it’s totally fine to skip your medication, all you are going to feel is a little more tired” , i decided to skip Saturdays and Sundays so i would have some medication for work “when I really needed it” . This was such a huge mistake, it caused a massive chemical imbalance in my brain and caused me to be massively suicidal. Why did i think this would be different? Did I forget what happened? Did i think “ah one day isn’t two days in a row every week that can’t be too bad?” Wrong. this is the 3rd Sunday in a row I’ve skipped, and it’s fcking up my whole week every week. I’m spacey, easily irritable, impulsive, overly emotional, losing my ability to feel grateful for things. It’s so bad! From 3 weeks of skipping 1 day?! Why ?! My coworker thinks I’m going through withdrawl every week just trying to get to baseline by the time I dip again.

So I have decided, it’s probably good I didn’t get that new position honestly . Swear! It was much better for my cards to fall and my strings to be knotted in such a way that I find out how bad it could be if I skip weekends just to conserve medication until I can be back in the state again to pick it up. Imagine if I took up that position, my current position is backfilled, and then like 4 months down the line I want to voluntary game over myself because my chemicals are so fcked trying to make sure I have medication Monday through Friday and just fck the weekends when I’m home and not flying in or out of the state.

Thank you Universe for both giving me an amazing holiday out of the country and also showing me that the path I wanted is not the path for me right now. This medication has changed my entire life, for the better. I actually love my life while on my medication. I don’t want to go back to never being happy or grateful or satisfied. If the one negative is being chained to my state because we don’t have universal healthcare that would allow me to pick up my medication on what ever state I was in at the time, compared to all the positives of actually feeling happiness and being able to have emotionally mature relationships and conversations, I’m staying in my state and I’m staying in my medication.

So I decide to stay yes? Well what if this is also my path because my coworker is fed up and wants to leave? If I were to get that other position and my coworker ended up then getting fed up and wanting to leave, our spot would be completely empty. Chaos. I mean it’s chaos now, it would be worse on the company. Nightmare .

I love what I do for work, and despite me constantly telling myself I’m not doing enough, it appears I’m good at what i do for work.

Today was really one of those “everything happens for a reason” kinda days where i just stared at the events in order and was like “damn what a timeline” “what weird canon interconnected events”

I mean i did do some sorta synthetic like magic mushrooms over the weekend, so maybe it’s that 🤣😅 it could just be that. 

Thank you for all the skills I learned in my last IT Jobs that led me to this one, and thank you to this job for paying me enough to afford to live on my own in a house and giving me a car to use. I hope that I prove I am worth it.

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

as someone else who is also working on a huge fic project with OC's I am currently SHAKING YOU please i would love to read it holy shit yeahG?GS?GS

A New World: part 1

Bayverse!Leonardo x reader

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

A/N: I take that as a yes😂 This is inspired by a fan fiction I once read, where bayverse Leonardo was teleported into the “real world”. I liked the concept and decided to add some more details and my own imagination to the whole thing. And then it took on a whole form of it's own😂💙

Leo is 25, reader is 22 - 23.

Warnings: None so far💙

How Leonardo and his brothers ended up on top of yet another skyscraper, fighting a manic scientist in mechanic body armor, was all gone from his mind at that moment. All he thought about was a way to get that mad man to stop his rampage on the city of New York. All he could recall at that moment was him and his brothers celebrating their 24th birth in the lair, alongside master Splinter, April, Casey and even Vern, before the phone started ringing, with the news of a crazy man running through the streets of New York City. After having fought Shredder and an alien from another dimension, a lunatic in a cyborg suite shouldn’t be that hard. Though the NYPD had called the ninja turtles in to take him down, because they themself couldn’t do it, Leo didn’t see the elderly yelling man to be much more than a wanna be villain. What was it he called himself again? Dr. Horror or something like that. Yeah… not very creative… Mikey had already poked fun at it several times, to the point where even Raph found it funny.

And yet there they were, high above New York City, fighting a man that obviously had his middle life crisis waaaaay too late in his life. He was rambling, overly emotional, and didn’t really seem to have a grasp on reality.

“You and this city will always remember the name of Dr. Horror, and soon the whole world will be mine!”

“Jeez, like we haven’t heard that one before”, Donnie murmured, jumping out of the way before a robotic foot could crush him. Annoyed sounds could be heard from the old man as he tried to stomp the purple time yet another time without success.

“Yeah, you think they would come up with some new material. The same old stuff is not that scary”, Raph said darting from a robotic knuckle sandwich, causing the scientist to get more annoyed.

“Outdated plans, overused comic book lines, and a villain name that sounds like something a 9 year old made up”, Mikey said. The big robot growling yet again. “I mean, dude, what even is your villain origin story? So far you just sound like a sad Shredder wannabe. Like, at least give your evil plans some ground! It makes the fight so much more interesting and makes you seem like a real threat-”.

“Enough!”, the crazed doctor yelled, cutting Mikey off from his long ramble, before claws flew from his cyborg armor, going fast for Mikey. Leo reacted fast, jumped and pushed his youngest brother out of the way. That was when the claw closed around Leo’s right ankle and pulled him high above his head. Leo swung his katanas at the retractable arm, only to be met by a chuckle from the man inside the suite, as he started shaking the blue turtle around like a ragdoll. This caused much anger in his brothers.

“Ay!”, yelled Raph, prompting the man to stop shaking Leo. “Put my big brother down or I’ll turn ya til scrap metal!”

Just as all three was about to charge the big cyborg, the retractable arm extended all the way beyond the roof, high above street level. Leo, who at this point was dizzy from all the flinging around just hung there, clutching his katanas as he looked at the street below. Suddenly that fear of heights from his childhood was growing in his stomach once again.

“Wait!”, Donnie yelled, holding his arms out to stop his brothers from charging further.

Horror boy chuckled once again. “I take it you’re the smart one”. Donnie narrowed his eyes. “Drop your weapons or big blue will become a turtle pancake”, he said, giving Leo a little small shake.

Reluctantly the three brothers looked at each other, before looking back at Leo, who was shaking his head, telling them not to do it. But with a sigh, they did exactly that, leaving the weapons on the roof. This caused the frailing man to start with the whole evil laugh, head high with his eyes closed. Leo took the change and sheathed his katanas on his back, before reaching into his belt for his ninja stars. After a quick aiming, he threw the star, and watched as it made a small slit in the doctor's cheek, before impending itself into his metallic shoulder. Dr. H stumbled back in shock, turning towards the ninja still hanging in his robotic claws.

“I’ve always hated turtles”, growled the irritated man. The next happened so fast, that neither Leo or any of his brothers had time to react. Instead of just dropping Leo and letting him fall to the ground, he swung Leo back before throwing him far and high so hard that he had to do a spin because of the memento, sending him hurling through the air, to the sound of his scared brothers watching in horror.

Flipping and flying through the air over New York, Leo found himself disoriented, grasping at air and kicking his legs, panicking as he saw the roofs of the city go from over his head, to under his feet to over his head again, only to flip down under him once again. The ocean got closer, and he hoped that he would make it that far. But then the roofs got closer and closer. Leo’s panic only got worse. He hadn’t screamed at all while falling down over the city, but as he realized he would hit the street before the ocean, he knew he wasn’t going to make it. Leo couldn’t hear his brothers scream his name from the distance and the wind in his ears. Leo’s scream was big and loud, but just before he could be swallowed by the buildings around him, on his way down to the pavement, a big light opened beneath him with a loud bang. A loud bang that made people fall to the ground, the cyborg fall over on the rooftop before falling to the street below, with the sound of a long “noooooo”. The three remaining green brothers grab onto the roof and each other, so they themself wouldn’t fall the same heights as the cyborg scientist. They watched in fear as Leo fell into the big flat circle of light, before it closed once again with a bang, just as big as the last one, once again sending everyone to the ground. Standing back was Leo’s three younger brothers, staring at the spot where a circle of light had swallowed their older brother.

Leo heard so many noises as he was falling through what seemed like a long tunnel of light and colors. If he was screaming at that point he couldn’t hear it. He didn’t know if he was falling up, down, to the left or to the right. No feeling of gravity, yet it felt as if something was pulling him. Leo did not know for how long he had been falling through the tunnel, before landing with his face first in a pillow filled sofa. Leo was so confused and dazed, that he didn’t notice the loud bang above him, as the circle of pure light disappeared again.

Blinking and squishing his blue eyes a few times, Leo sat up on the sofa, rubbing his head. He sat there for some time, absolutely confused. No thought made sense to him, and he had no idea of what to think of the situation. He sat in a completely foreign living room, in all his green turtle glory, and from the look of the sky outside, in the middle of the day.

Shit. From the frying pan straight into the fire.

Leonardo sat uneasy for a moment, listening for any noises outside of the living room, indicating that anybody could be home. He heard nothing, other than his own breathing, his beating heart and the cars outside on the street.

Slowly standing up, Leo started making his way around the living room, looking for a quick way out. It was a bright living room. It kind of reminded Leo of April’s living room, yet it was different. There were quite a few plants here and there, a lot of books, bright colors, a pretty nice TV, along with small things here and there, like art supplies, figurines and pictures. A lot of pictures. Polaroids and framed pictures on the walls. Some looked like family pictures, others looked like friends hanging out. One thing many of the pictures had in common was this one girl. She had a bright smile, and in Leonardo’s opinion, didn’t look too bad. Must be the girl that lived here.

Leo kepting looking around the room, when he came closer to the window, he realized he was in an apartment, too high up for him to make a quick escape out the window.

“Fuck my shell”, Leo mumbled under his breath, before making his way from the living room to the next room, making sure nobody was around. Just because he couldn’t hear anyone, didn’t mean that he was alone. He knew very well that humans could be quiet, especially from the many times April had sneaked up on him and his brothers.

Leo found himself in an open kitchen. Like the living room, open, bright, colorful, filled with plants and memorabilia. Leo looked out the kitchen window, hoping to find an alleyway and a fire escape, but he was out of luck. No fire escapes and no alleyway. Instead a big open courtyard filled with people, talking and laughing in the daylight, and a pair of glass doors leading out to a balcony.

Leo cursed once more under his breath. Signing, he rubbed his face, wondering what he was going to do now. His thoughts went to his brothers, wondering how they must be feeling at that very moment. Probably terrified. They had just seen him being thrown across New York City before disappearing into nothing. Instinctually Leonardo felt bad. Guilty. Stresset. His brothers were somewhere out there, probably looking for him, fearing for his life. For a cold-blooded creature, Leo was getting really hot. His palms was getting clammy and his face was getting warm.

Leonardo did not know what to do. Heart beat raising, arms and legs slightly shaking as his three fingered hands rubbed his face once again. Leo was so out of it, that he did not know how to react when he heard the front door being unlocked. He just froze one the spot, wide eyes and heart beating harder than it had done, since fighting Krang. Leo heard somebody humming out in the hallway, putting their keys down and taking their shoes off. He could hide! One problem, where could a 6 foot something mutant turtle hide in an unknown apartment, when the person who lived in said apartment was just down the hall?

Leo got to hide. The only thing he managed to do was turn, so he could see the woman as she walked. She stopped in her place, (e/c) eyes going wide, humming stopping, smile disappearing, and if she had had anything in her hands, she would probably have dropped it at that point.

“Don’t freak out!”, Leo quickly said, absolutely terrified. “I- I know it looks weird, b- but I can explain-”.

“You’re in my house”. She cut him off, her voice shocked but calm.

“I know, and I’m sorry! I don’t know how I got here-”.

“Leonardo is in my house”. She said it out loud, in a way that made Leo unsure if she even was talking to him. Because Leo even could say what, she said it again. “The Leonardo is in my house”.

[ciaossu-imagines]

I am generally considered very sweet and intelligent, with a delightful sense of humor. I have been told that I have a brilliant mind and crave knowing. I am a true geek at heart and take pride in my vast knowledge across various topics. However, some negative aspects of me are that I can be overly sensitive and often get overwhelmed easily. My self esteem isn’t the best, as I am insecure about myself so I tend to be self deprecating, which can often make people sad. I am working on this as much as I can but it is certainly a struggle, so it’s likely that I’d need frequent reassurance. I love deeply and will fight tooth and nail for those that I love. Thank you so much! I really love Nanbaka and KHR. 👉👈

Hey there anon dear! Thank you so much for sending in something for a match-up! I hope no parts of this got lost and since I didn't have a name to publish you under, I hope you don't mind your ask being posted, and that you'll enjoy your matches!

In my opinion, your ideal Nanbaka match is TROIS!

You and Trois had chemistry right from the get-go. Don't let his pretty face fool you - Trois is a very intelligent man and that was part of what drew him to you right away. He likes the fact he can hold good, intelligent conversations with you, that you show interest in his passions and his intellectual pursuits. Of course, he's also always interested to learn about what you're currently interested in and learning about. Trois likes you teaching him things and, of course, he tries hard to teach you as much as you teach him.

Now, you did mention that you can be rather insecure at times and that definitely will flare up at times during your relationship with Trois. He is a very handsome man and does get hit on a lot and there are times you feel inadequate or worried. Trois is rather more observant than he lets on though and he does notice this, notices you tossing out more self-deprecating 'jokes' and comments. However, Trois is more than willing to give out compliments. This is especially true for his relationship with you, where he will feed you compliments like candy, all truly meant, even when you feel like they might not be or don't seem true. While Trois can be a little brutal in his choice of words at times, and does keep company with Honey, who is even more so, he does his best to keep how sensitive you are to people's words and actions in mind and to not give you reasons to worry.

In my opinion, your ideal KHR match is BYAKURAN!

Now, on the other hand, I do see you and Byakuran having a pretty solid friendship before things turn romantic. Byakuran really is attracted and interested in intelligent people, people with things they're passionate and nerdy about, people who love to constantly be learning. It's because, at his core, Byakuran is this imaginative, creative, fiercely intelligent absolutely geek. He has his passions and interests and the two of you would likely have met and grown a friendship through a shared passion. I think that, over time, your sweet nature, so at odds with his more ambitious and sometimes warped or morbid personality, your company and how you make him feel, how supportive you are to him, and how much you obviously cared about him led him to develop deeper feelings for you and he began to pursue you, with all the signature Byakuran drive, to change the relationship between you to something more romantic.

I do think there are times your sensitive nature, the fact you get overwhelmed, and your lack of self-esteem does cause some issues in the relationship. And honestly, because Byakuran is who he is, I do think there are times he might even try to provoke those emotions in you. I'm sorry but Byakuran is not always the healthiest in relationships. However, most of the time, Byakuran is more than reassuring. He loves spoiling you rotten, drops compliments and gifts in heaps at your figurative feet. It's just that sometimes he gets distracted by things he's really into at the moment or he gets in a mood and wants his own reassurance about how bad you need or want him around and gets distant to make you chase him. If you can hold up to those times and fight for him against his own unhealthy habits, I do see this relationship being happy a large majority of the time and you become someone he is actually absolutely loyal to.

[adamwatchesmovies]

Quiz Lady (2023)

There was a time when I saw every movie released in theaters. When I did, I saw films like Quiz Lady every couple of months. This is a fine comedy that gets pretty wacky but reels itself in with some good character-based drama. You won’t necessarily cry or fall out of your seat laughing but it’s a good time and a pleasant way to spend 90 or so minutes. What elevates Quiz Lady above its peers is the cast. Together, Awkwafina and Sandra Oh carry this film to the winner’s podium.

After her gambling addict of a mother flees to Macau, Anne (Awkwafina) is frustrated, but unsurprised. Then, a loan shark named Ken (Jon “Dumbfoundead” Park) kidnaps Anne’s dog. He won’t return Mr. Linguini unless she repays her mother’s $80,000 debt. Luckily, Anne’s sister, Jenny (Sandra Oh) has an idea. Since childhood, Anne has been religiously watching the game show Can’t Stop the Quiz. Her in-depth knowledge of trivial matters means she has what it takes to win the competition’s top prize.

I remember the first time I saw Awkwafina’s name in a trailer for a movie. At the time I thought this was another “Rihanna in Battleship” sort of scenario but she’s become one of my favorite actresses thanks to her exceptional performances. When I say that, you probably imagine that this film will have her character go through all sorts of emotional ups and downs. Not really. What makes her so good here is the way she bounces off of Sandra Oh. They have outstanding chemistry. You forget every other time you’ve seen them in something else and think only of them as sisters. Not ordinary sisters, however. These siblings are far enough apart in age that they were never really close when they were young and still aren’t most of the time, but once in a while connect in a way only sisters can. They keep the film on track when certain toilet-related punchlines threaten to derail the movie. It all comes together particularly well during the conclusion, which is heartfelt because it builds on many little moments introduced throughout - things you thought were just throwaway gags.

Other standout elements include Will Ferrel as Terry McTeer, the longtime host of “Can’t Stop the Quiz” who is sweet but not very bright, Tony Hale as a staff member of a Benjamin Franklin-themed hotel and Jason Schwartzman as Ron Heacock, the current Can’t Stop the Quiz champion. The film does Schwartzman's character a disservice by making him overly villainous during the conclusion, but he’s fun to cheer against nonetheless. These, along with the stars and the conclusion make up for the so-so middle. Writer Jen D’Angelo and Jessica Yu couldn’t seemingly find a whole lot for our heroines to do between coming up with the idea of competing in Can’t Stop the Quiz and the competition itself, which is why the film falls back on that old trope of having a character accidentally take drugs and go on a hallucinogenic trip at the most inappropriate time. While the emotional moments are pretty steady, the comedy is uneven. Sometimes, it’s wild and out there, like when we see that Mr. Linguini’s kidnappers are treating him exceptionally well so that the dog doesn’t want to go back to his rightful owner. In other scenes, it’s much more grounded in reality and satirical, like when Anne unintentionally goes viral as “The Quiz Lady” and her co-workers suddenly start treating her like a prop they can use in their own vlogs.

I wouldn’t have been upset seeing Quiz Lady in the cinema on a Sunday morning and seeing it at home “for free” (all you need is a Hulu subscription) seals the deal. It’s got laughs, a fun surprise cameo, enough memorable jokes and most importantly, excellent performances from Awkwafina and Sandra Oh. They’re so good together, the film is worth seeing for them alone. (November 19, 2023)