#he's in charge of it
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everwalldigan · 6 months ago
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Concept: Jason sending Tim a different drug dealer’s name every month so that rich kid Tim Drake tries to make the dealer sell to him as a test if they’re truly sticking to Jason’s no selling to kids rule.
Jason has essentially killed two birds with one stone, 1. He got to identify and take out the fuckers that were still selling to kids and 2. He essentially made sure Tim could never buy anything from Gotham’s dealers. Call it his way of caring.
To anybody else, Tim just looked like another stupid rich kid who doesn’t know what they’re getting themselves into but the ruse is up when the news starts spreading that anyone who sells to Tim Drake specifically will get their ass busted by the Red Hood. So the next time Jason sees Damian he pitches the idea up to him and the few dealers that sell to Damian get an especially slow and painful treatment cause how dare they sell to what is very clearly a 14 year old baby??
The operation is kept strictly away from Bruce, of course, until one day some reporter breaks the story about billionaire Bruce Wayne’s kids caught trying to buy drugs and all HELL breaks loose. The end result was all of them being grounded for a month after a 5 hour long rant about responsibility and damaging their civilian reputations and the entire Wayne family being blacklisted from the drug market no matter how much cash they wave around.
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tuttle-did-it · 7 months ago
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David Tennant for Prime Minister, please.
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edit- Since this is getting so much attention, edited to include descriptions of screenshots.
This woman has lost her fucking mind.
Jo, are you okay?
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allskywalkerswhine · 1 year ago
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in fics where luke gets plopped into the prequels i want every jedi within ten metres of him to think hes the weirdest jedi theyve ever seen. he has negative lightsaber form. he doesnt know what a kata is. he handstands when he meditates. his solution to sith is to try and have a chat. hes a political radical who keeps suggesting revolution. you ask him what the jedi code is and he says "kindness and compassion and helping those in need :) ". you ask how he used the force like that and he says some shit about how you are a luminous being limited only by your mind. the councils authority is just a suggestion. he is somehow the new favourite of both qui gon and yoda
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payasita · 2 years ago
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being a manager sucks balls half the time but the cashier kids im in charge of trust me enough to dick around in front of me so ive been keeping a running list of the shit they say that makes me laugh randomly: -"guys, is it cheating if you play fortnite with your ex" [4 seperate others, immediately]: "YES" -"there must be like… infinite sentences" -"bro what bro what the fuck bro what's that mean bro why'd you say that bro what" <distraught response to a girl randomly greeting him with 'hey there big boy' in an old timey transatlantic news reporter accent
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mugentakeda · 10 months ago
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I feel like modern au zuko can drive, is very good at it, has his license, and will get you where you need to go but like. with very dangerous efficiency. he drives like Evel Knievel. he drives like a bat out of hell. he whips the wheel hard as fuck and you will see Jesus even if the drive is from your house to the corner store. his car is used and like 10 years old but she is strong and loyal just like her master and wont break down for anything. she'll tear over anything in her path. zuko has given iroh so many mini heart attacks while driving him around (<- because iroh does NOT have his license). worst of all is that zuko does NOT talk or road rage ever when he drives he's DEAD SILENT and simply blasts the radio. and its always either terrifying Chinese opera or crazy shit like Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd
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cidnangarlond · 6 months ago
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mugiwara-lucy · 3 months ago
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Kamala will make the FUNNIEST president in all of American history 😂
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jangmi-latte · 1 month ago
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DEUCE BEHAVE 🫵🏻
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engel-hageshii · 7 months ago
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WHO WAS GONNA TELL ME MOON COULD GET ME WHILE BEING INSIDE FREDDY'S HATCH?
I WAS TAKING SCREENSHOTS LIKE AN IDIOT WHEN MOON APPEARED AND THEN THIS HAPPENED
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Do not worry, they cannot find you if we are together - Freddy "Fucking Liar" Fazbear
and he lied yet again
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emacrow · 6 months ago
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Tim whom is still banned from caffeine went into looking into other ways to get caffeine.
He went into anonymous source from someone name KingTuck4ever who talk about a energy drink that kept him up for weeks during a critical time of his life and Tim was at this point of desperate to spend any time of money he got.
Later that night, he received 6 very large Dark green boxes with a DP logo on it filled with Lightening Green tall soda cans with the name Ecto-Spark!, ingredients tags on the back, made with organic vegan products, DO NOT NEAR MEAT RELATED PRODUCTS, guaranteed to keep you caffeine deprived souls awake and alive enough to enjoy a night afterlife party! Or your money back.
Tim at the point didn't read the back as he pop open the top, smelling a strong scent of caffeine, carbonated bubble and a taste of lemon lime mixed with a tang flavor that had his mouth drowning nearly in drool.
He took only one experimental sip, before his eyes widen instantly and immediately began chugging the soda can for all the liquid caffeine it had inside. This was 1000 times better then Death Coffee Cup from his favorite Cafe that he was still banned from.
It felt like his whole body got electrified with energy and feel like he can run a whole 4 week marathon without breaking a sweat. This drink was like tasting nirvana after a week of being in a Gobi desert for his fucking soul.
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Bruce can never know about this. He can't tell anyone about this drink. Not Damian, Not dick, not step, maybe Jason, but Cass can kept a secret since she knew body language. He might possibly go rogue and kill Bruce himself if Bruce tried to take this from him.
Meanwhile Tucker was amazed of the total amount of money he received from the anonymous Caffine obsessed ghost. Usually he ended up receiving old relics, Egyptian related artifacts, gold coins, etc but this is a first he got actually modern day money.
Poor dude must've been recently form a core to spend that much money. Good thing he had send extra since he know how crazy those caffine-obsessed ghosts can be over the new drink he made specifically for himself, Sam and Danny but it's nice to have extra cash for new tech making. Especially since Danny became high king of the ghost zone when he became 20 year old, and the amount of paper works that had been left for dust collecting could filled a planet to the very brim.
Took him, Sam, Danny, Ghost writer and Techno 5 months to fully turn at least 26% of sacrifical gifts from ritual, contracts, conquests, complains from territorial ghosts about humans taking their land/house/property/or about their murder, help hundreds of ghosts stuck in their personal hell of a limbo of their own death, guy name Constantine whom was rapidly becoming a pain in Tucker's ass especially when he got one contract form his former previous life about this guy.
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fantastic-nonsense · 11 months ago
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society if Two-Face was Batman's arch-nemesis instead of the Joker:
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egophiliac · 11 months ago
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don't think I'm not still deep in the episode 7 brainrot. because OH BOY AM I
(also one more extremely, obnoxiously self-referential thing, I'm -- I'm so sorry)
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paperbackribs · 1 month ago
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bunnysnared · 3 months ago
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"meat is meat. i can butcher it all the same."
[cw knives, blood, implied violence/murder, dark!au] happy spooky szn everyone!! here is a sketch of a butcher!ghost au that @bressynonym has cooked up that i am obsessed with... have a fun and safe halloween everyone!
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drenched-in-sunlight · 5 months ago
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family tea party.
(in my mind, Radagon is the pure Order with no kindness half, and he always yearns to converge with Marika + be on equal footing with her, so in my drawing he’ll always be kinda nuts)
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frownyalfred · 5 months ago
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Just imagine a JL and YJ team up where no one knows the connection between nightwing and Batman
And Batman gets seriously hurt, everyone is shocked and scared but no one expects nightwing to go
Either 1. Catatonic or 2. Into a cold and precise fury standing protectively over batman
Yeah!! Agh, the outside pov of Nightwing sprinting over to Batman and somehow knowing how to unlock the complex series of clasps and switches on his armor in perfect sequence. He doesn’t get shocked, he pries open that chest plate like he’s been doing it his entire life. He opens Batman’s belt and pulls out bandages without needing to guess which compartment had first aid supplies. He grabs Batman’s wrist comm and knows how to use the gauntlet buttons to call for an evac. He orders Superman around like he’s taken on Batman’s authority in the interim (he has) and Superman listens without question. He is Batman’s second in command, and no one in YJ can fully process that revelation before they’re evac’d back to Gotham.
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