#he's in charge of it
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Concept: Jason sending Tim a different drug dealer’s name every month so that rich kid Tim Drake tries to make the dealer sell to him as a test if they’re truly sticking to Jason’s no selling to kids rule.
Jason has essentially killed two birds with one stone, 1. He got to identify and take out the fuckers that were still selling to kids and 2. He essentially made sure Tim could never buy anything from Gotham’s dealers. Call it his way of caring.
To anybody else, Tim just looked like another stupid rich kid who doesn’t know what they’re getting themselves into but the ruse is up when the news starts spreading that anyone who sells to Tim Drake specifically will get their ass busted by the Red Hood. So the next time Jason sees Damian he pitches the idea up to him and the few dealers that sell to Damian get an especially slow and painful treatment cause how dare they sell to what is very clearly a 14 year old baby??
The operation is kept strictly away from Bruce, of course, until one day some reporter breaks the story about billionaire Bruce Wayne’s kids caught trying to buy drugs and all HELL breaks loose. The end result was all of them being grounded for a month after a 5 hour long rant about responsibility and damaging their civilian reputations and the entire Wayne family being blacklisted from the drug market no matter how much cash they wave around.
#Tim is absolutely having the time of his life trying to get the dealers to sell to him#he gets to practice his bullshittery completely free of charge#Bruce is absolutely LIVID#dc comics#batman#batfam#dcu#batfamily#bruce wayne#dc robin#jason todd#red hood#damian wayne#tim drake#red robin
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David Tennant for Prime Minister, please.
edit- Since this is getting so much attention, edited to include descriptions of screenshots.
This woman has lost her fucking mind.
Jo, are you okay?
#Fuck your Rowling#Fuck terfs#David Tennant#Fuck Harry Potter#And everyone who watches Rowling’s new Harry Potter show#little whinging fuckers#gender taliban?#have you completely lost your mind JKR#maybe just stop being a little whinging fucker JKR#if he's smart he would never want this job because it's a horrible one but we'd be so much better off with a sane person in charge#But seriously Rowling are you okay?#does she look tired to you?#well I guess this has broken containment#He didn’t actually say you’re name JKR#he just called out transphobes and you assumed he was talking about you#which says you know exactly what you are and identify as a transphobe#says a lot#described
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in fics where luke gets plopped into the prequels i want every jedi within ten metres of him to think hes the weirdest jedi theyve ever seen. he has negative lightsaber form. he doesnt know what a kata is. he handstands when he meditates. his solution to sith is to try and have a chat. hes a political radical who keeps suggesting revolution. you ask him what the jedi code is and he says "kindness and compassion and helping those in need :) ". you ask how he used the force like that and he says some shit about how you are a luminous being limited only by your mind. the councils authority is just a suggestion. he is somehow the new favourite of both qui gon and yoda
#i think he Gets yoda in a way few do bc he knew him as a feral old man in a swamp and not Guy In Charge Of Everything#so he is yodas new best friend#and qui gon hears him talk for five mins and realises his ideal jedi is a real guy that exists#luke doesnt realise how much of a heretic he is okay he is a Luminous Being#luke skywalker#star wars prequels#stat wars original trilogy#sw originals#original trilogy#sw prequel trilogy#sw og trilogy#jedi order#star wars#sw#sw time travel fic#time travel au#the force#yoda#qui gon jinn#i think after a bit plo koon would also be a big fan#lee posts
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being a manager sucks balls half the time but the cashier kids im in charge of trust me enough to dick around in front of me so ive been keeping a running list of the shit they say that makes me laugh randomly: -"guys, is it cheating if you play fortnite with your ex" [4 seperate others, immediately]: "YES" -"there must be like… infinite sentences" -"bro what bro what the fuck bro what's that mean bro why'd you say that bro what" <distraught response to a girl randomly greeting him with 'hey there big boy' in an old timey transatlantic news reporter accent
#personal#text#gonna miss these kids lol#theres more i cant remember rn but i swear to god some of them do it just to make me crack up when im the only one in charge#infinite sentences kid and bro what the fuck kid are the same kid#he could not give less of a shit about this job it's so fucking funny
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I feel like modern au zuko can drive, is very good at it, has his license, and will get you where you need to go but like. with very dangerous efficiency. he drives like Evel Knievel. he drives like a bat out of hell. he whips the wheel hard as fuck and you will see Jesus even if the drive is from your house to the corner store. his car is used and like 10 years old but she is strong and loyal just like her master and wont break down for anything. she'll tear over anything in her path. zuko has given iroh so many mini heart attacks while driving him around (<- because iroh does NOT have his license). worst of all is that zuko does NOT talk or road rage ever when he drives he's DEAD SILENT and simply blasts the radio. and its always either terrifying Chinese opera or crazy shit like Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd
#zuko is the gaangs free of charge Uber driver but he's not gonna do it without making them suffer a little bit.#he drives a dinky cigarette car but like I said she is strong and he also cleans her regularly so theres that.#and he's silent like I said so whenever the gaang is screeching at him that they're gonna crash he simply does not react. Its an experience#atla
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#putting this here in case anyone decides to go looking for more info about my particular guy here#1) soccer player 2) gay 3) started for italy met and got engaged to his future husband while there and adopted a girl#4) ends up spending the rest of his life in germany bc he got traded but he WAS able to get gay married there#because it's legal in germany and not italy. ENGAGED FOR LIKE 15 YEARS BTW!!!!!#5) husband dies at 110 and then my guy dies 7 years later also at the age of 110#6) I don't want to start a new life in the game because I played as him for hours and don't have the heart to wipe the slate clean#yusuf yacob you will always be famous. to me. sorry for making your penis injury gain interest#and sorry your mother died after being charged by a hippo
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Kamala will make the FUNNIEST president in all of American history 😂
#kamala harris#kamala harris for president#kamala harris 2024#kamala harris for the people#kamala harris for potus#anti donald trump#fuck donald trump#donald trump is a felon#donald trump is evil#imagine that! having some creepy ass old man like RFK FUCKING JR in charge of your health#much less WOMEN’S.#this old fucker got over EIGHTY people killed in Samoa with his anti vaccine bullshit#not to mention he SUPPORTS a national abortion ban so LOTS of women’s’ blood will be on his hands!!!
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DEUCE BEHAVE 🫵🏻
#twisted wonderland#twst#heartslabyul#deuce spade#he's really...packing up on the muscles#and we're like what??? 6-7 months into the damn school year#WHOEVER'S IN CHARGE OF DRAWING DEUCE LATELY YOU'RE DOING GREAT BUDDY GEEZUS#he's gaining so much and so fast he's truly a hungry man#SECOND BUFFEST FIRST YEAR TELL ME I LIED
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WHO WAS GONNA TELL ME MOON COULD GET ME WHILE BEING INSIDE FREDDY'S HATCH?
I WAS TAKING SCREENSHOTS LIKE AN IDIOT WHEN MOON APPEARED AND THEN THIS HAPPENED
Do not worry, they cannot find you if we are together - Freddy "Fucking Liar" Fazbear
and he lied yet again
#I thought he meant everyone!!!#now I know I need to find the charging station#but holy fuck that got me#fnaf security breach#security breach#fnaf sb#fnaf moon#moon#moondrop#dca#dca moon#dca moondrop#fnaf daycare attendant#daycare attendant#daycare attendant moon#moon jumpscare
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Tim whom is still banned from caffeine went into looking into other ways to get caffeine.
He went into anonymous source from someone name KingTuck4ever who talk about a energy drink that kept him up for weeks during a critical time of his life and Tim was at this point of desperate to spend any time of money he got.
Later that night, he received 6 very large Dark green boxes with a DP logo on it filled with Lightening Green tall soda cans with the name Ecto-Spark!, ingredients tags on the back, made with organic vegan products, DO NOT NEAR MEAT RELATED PRODUCTS, guaranteed to keep you caffeine deprived souls awake and alive enough to enjoy a night afterlife party! Or your money back.
Tim at the point didn't read the back as he pop open the top, smelling a strong scent of caffeine, carbonated bubble and a taste of lemon lime mixed with a tang flavor that had his mouth drowning nearly in drool.
He took only one experimental sip, before his eyes widen instantly and immediately began chugging the soda can for all the liquid caffeine it had inside. This was 1000 times better then Death Coffee Cup from his favorite Cafe that he was still banned from.
It felt like his whole body got electrified with energy and feel like he can run a whole 4 week marathon without breaking a sweat. This drink was like tasting nirvana after a week of being in a Gobi desert for his fucking soul.
.....
.....
.....
Bruce can never know about this. He can't tell anyone about this drink. Not Damian, Not dick, not step, maybe Jason, but Cass can kept a secret since she knew body language. He might possibly go rogue and kill Bruce himself if Bruce tried to take this from him.
Meanwhile Tucker was amazed of the total amount of money he received from the anonymous Caffine obsessed ghost. Usually he ended up receiving old relics, Egyptian related artifacts, gold coins, etc but this is a first he got actually modern day money.
Poor dude must've been recently form a core to spend that much money. Good thing he had send extra since he know how crazy those caffine-obsessed ghosts can be over the new drink he made specifically for himself, Sam and Danny but it's nice to have extra cash for new tech making. Especially since Danny became high king of the ghost zone when he became 20 year old, and the amount of paper works that had been left for dust collecting could filled a planet to the very brim.
Took him, Sam, Danny, Ghost writer and Techno 5 months to fully turn at least 26% of sacrifical gifts from ritual, contracts, conquests, complains from territorial ghosts about humans taking their land/house/property/or about their murder, help hundreds of ghosts stuck in their personal hell of a limbo of their own death, guy name Constantine whom was rapidly becoming a pain in Tucker's ass especially when he got one contract form his former previous life about this guy.
#dpxdc#dc x dp#danny phantom#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dc x dp prompt#dcxdp#danny is the ghost king#tucker still have some memories and knowledge of his ruling as the pharoah#tucker sell ecto-made caffeine soda to Caffine-obsessed ghost for money#tucker is still liminals due to unfinished business from his pararoh life#he doesnt know why but he fucking hate Constantine#tim got his hand on caffeine soda that mostly ectoplasm and became feral obsessed over it like a starved cat caught with a fish in his mout#Tim lives and dies for caffeine#tim got a barely liminal core that just got fully charged into a full core#once he drank all the soda and have a full on crash to wake up half way in the floor to fully panic later#dead tired
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society if Two-Face was Batman's arch-nemesis instead of the Joker:
#oh to be in the universe where DC acknowledged the true potential of Bruce and Harvey as insanely toxic frenemies.....#He was Batman's most dependable non-caped crimefighting partner. He's one of Batman's worst enemies.#he was one of the first people to trust Batman. Batman is one of the last people to still trust him.#He nearly killed Bruce's son. Bruce still left him in charge of protecting Gotham years later#He's responsible for his own downfall. He's Bruce's greatest tragedy#He's nothing like Bruce. He's Bruce's mirror image#WHEN WILL DC SEE THE VISION!!!!!!!#batman#two face#harvey dent#dc comics#bruce wayne
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don't think I'm not still deep in the episode 7 brainrot. because OH BOY AM I
(also one more extremely, obnoxiously self-referential thing, I'm -- I'm so sorry)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7#twisted wonderland book 7 part 7 spoilers#and so ends the saga#(this time for real i promise)#malleus post-episode 7: shroud...i should have heeded your warnings...now tell me more about how i may hunt this elusive 'snipe'#alas poor puppies :( i'm glad they had a little aside about how they can fix them after this whole mess#let ortho have his dogs!#man i love that this has come down to malleus vs technology though#MY FAVORITE#ortho: you can destroy the shell that links me to this mortal world...but can you select the CORRECT DOWNLOAD LINK???#malleus: (downloads a billion viruses and dies instantly)#also i'm probably the only one who thinks idia complaining about his own mental tartarus prison is funny#but there we go#idia has two modes and two modes only#he's either in the middle of a metaphor where he finally forgives himself for his brother's death and takes charge of his own destiny#or he's like 'fuck yeah i'm about to get isekai'd into the internet! (immediately falls over making dying whale sounds)'#wait no he has a third mode: actively suffocating because silver and sebek won't stop squishing him#look he's just delightful no matter what's going on okay
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#originally and pre-relationship: Eddie calls in to mess with Steve occasionally and it turns into a hyper-charged game of gay chicken#eventually resulting in the dirtiest most filthy outcome in that back room#but then Eddie's just calling in all the time to chat with his boyfriend#so much that Robin refuses to pick up the phone anymore#Keith never realises that they're personal calls either because Steve's voice is always so dry when he's around#Steve's bitchy tone drives Eddie wild#but then. at times and only when he's alone in the shop Steve's voice is absolutely gooey as he and Eddie flirt#practically twirling his hair around one finger as Eddie croons just the absolute sweetest shit over that phone#Robin occasionally high fives Eddie at later times after she's caught Steve completely red-faced and refusing to repeat what was just said#she thinks it's gross but also sort of sweet and just what Steve deserves from a partner#steddie#stranger things#steve harrington#eddie munson
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"meat is meat. i can butcher it all the same."
[cw knives, blood, implied violence/murder, dark!au] happy spooky szn everyone!! here is a sketch of a butcher!ghost au that @bressynonym has cooked up that i am obsessed with... have a fun and safe halloween everyone!
#simon ghost riley#simon riley#ghost cod#butcher au#dark simon riley#mine♥#i wonder if anyone will notice some of the creepy second reads i put in the background :3c#his tattoo is of an autopsied seraphim angel. its all cut open w butcher lines for cuts drawn on it#and he has some lambs too#the red flags are waving. and brother i am charging toward them like a raging bull lemme tell ya
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family tea party.
(in my mind, Radagon is the pure Order with no kindness half, and he always yearns to converge with Marika + be on equal footing with her, so in my drawing he’ll always be kinda nuts)
#elden ring#radagon of the golden order#queen marika the eternal#believe it or not this is ship art#my conspiracy theory is that he took advantage of Messmer being sealed and Godwyn death to slowly ursurp Marika#since those two command the two largest armies that were loyal to her just after Godfrey’s#in an misguided attempt to ease her burden. like oh if I’m in charge you won’t be sad again :) kinda way#also lowkey alienating Miq and Mal from their mother#so he’ll be the only one Marika can lean on. but joke is on him she dragged him down with her too alright#I can’t write another essay on this so pls just take the art#they r so funny in my head now#messmer the impaler#albi’s art
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Just imagine a JL and YJ team up where no one knows the connection between nightwing and Batman
And Batman gets seriously hurt, everyone is shocked and scared but no one expects nightwing to go
Either 1. Catatonic or 2. Into a cold and precise fury standing protectively over batman
Yeah!! Agh, the outside pov of Nightwing sprinting over to Batman and somehow knowing how to unlock the complex series of clasps and switches on his armor in perfect sequence. He doesn’t get shocked, he pries open that chest plate like he’s been doing it his entire life. He opens Batman’s belt and pulls out bandages without needing to guess which compartment had first aid supplies. He grabs Batman’s wrist comm and knows how to use the gauntlet buttons to call for an evac. He orders Superman around like he’s taken on Batman’s authority in the interim (he has) and Superman listens without question. He is Batman’s second in command, and no one in YJ can fully process that revelation before they’re evac’d back to Gotham.
#just the platonic intimacy of it all#Bruce is down so dick is in charge#he is a Leader#bruce wayne#batman#dc#asks#anon#batfamily#young Justice#yj#jl#Justice league#Clark kent#Superman
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