#he's going to get jumped lol
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#he's going to get jumped lol#tmnt donatello#tmnt raphael#tmnt michelangelo#tmnt leonardo#tmnt 2012#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#that one lex luthor meme#doot art
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hermann thoughts: if i discredit newton and his approach enough, the martial won't give him the equipment for his kaiju drift, and i can protect him from himself. if he despises me for it, so be it. there is little i wouldn't sacrifice to see him safe.
newt thoughts: this is a Best Science competition and i have to Win
#unscientific aside#newmann#pacific rim#thinking about them again today#it's very easy to read hermann's animosity during the movie as him being pissed off at newt for his 'completely crazy'#theories getting attention + being a massive nuisance in general#that's exactly what it looks like if you just listen to WHAT he's saying#however if you pay attention to WHEN he says it & pay attention to his face when no one is looking it's very clear there's more going on im#like the kaiju entrails comment. newt has all these tables with guts set up right next to the line & has clearly been working there for age#theres a big pile of intestinal-looking tubes over on hermann's side of the floor already! not a peep from hermann!#but then when newt tries to join the conversation he happens to throw another little squidgy bit & suddenly hermann jumps on him about it#brings up in front of the marshall how CONSTANT this unprofessional conduct is while also cutting newt off#he physically puts himself between newt & pentecost#interrupts newt every time he tries to talk#starts making snarky little personal comments AT newt to discourage him - 'don't embarrass yourself' 'yes [just get to the point]'#'this is the point where he goes completely crazy' [significant look at newt]#keeps hovering in the background looking between newt & pentecost#like. ok he is SO MAD that newt is getting pentecost's attention here. obviously#the thing that does it for me though is how sad and resigned he looks when newt finally does get to the point#this is not the face of an angry rival#this is the face of a man with ulterior motives for his animosity#i dont think newt has any ulterior motives hes aware of lol he thinks hes in a movie about 2 geniuses vying for scientific superiority#happens to be in love with hermann but hasnt realized because hes so mad at him all the time#he only realizes how much hermann cares when he offers to drift with him
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LMFAO the stranger things crew are so funny 😭 they’ve been filming for months with fans and paparazzi taking pics and videos, but of course right after we get pics of byler; now everyone on set wants to be proactive about leaks,, like if byler is not endgame then why are they always so afraid of us knowing anything about them 😂
#if you don’t know what i’m talking about tate brookins on ig posted he’s going on a break bc like the crew is upset about the leaks#but it seems like every time we get something about byler like for example scriptgate— the crew jumps straight into action#if mike and will don’t end up together then why act so sus around their characters relationship?? if they’re just going to stay friends like#they have been since season 1 episode 1 then why act like anything about byler is a spoiler 😭#it just proves byler is endgame even more imo lol#byler#stranger things#st5 production#st5 leaks#stranger things 5#stranger things s5#stranger things season 5
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Hc that if something or someone wakes Dream from a deep sleep, he summons and fires his bow on instinct
#UTDR#UTMV#My Art#Dream Sans#Swap Sans#Blue's fine don't worry!! It's a positivity arrow it doesn't do harm to him#Well. it still probably stings getting hit with an arrow but he can't bleed out or anything#It's probably just a pain to fix the hole in his shirt more than anything lol#Luckily it's pretty rare that Dream sleeps that deep anyway so it almost never happens#But I do like imagining post-truce Nightmare going ''Still asleep at this hour? I shall go and wake him''#And Blue's like ''OKAY! c:'' and then after a beat remembers and jumps up like ''ACTUALLY LET ME GET HIM!!''#I think this probably happens with others too#Like if you wake Cross too violently you get blaster'd without mercy
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tfw youre so mad about your healer getting hurt under your watch that you turn into a dragon and consequently cant turn back for a bit. (or alternatively, shrinryu if he was a light party platform instead of a full party one.)
#ffxiv#sketch#zenos yae galvus#adventurer zenos#oc#tsukiko date#camilla lunae#minryu#portable dragon zenos also gets a tag because thats what the name of this file is LOL#dynamis is a blessing in many cases and occasionally a curse to zenos#I imagine he gets pretty good about controlling his emotions after he gets used to them but after 20+ years of repressing them#if he snaps- he's always going to snap -terribly-#not shown but maybe eventually drawn is him shaking the people that got the jump on them like a chew toy#*or I could also get the awful thought while writing these tags that it's similar to shadowkeeper and he can summon a sword in this form#regardless angry guard dog man to act on his friend's angry guard dog privileges for once
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oh boy !! ! ! ! !!! ! thANK y0u all for the kind words on my last art posts. you all get it and i was/still am so happy about it
as promised, here's some close-ups of the comic for image quality's sake, and other screenshots i rescued from the community whiteboard (and something else)
first up another sketch of mystery gender-ambiguous being. (please send me more name ideas for them if you got one- i like to hear em! (reminder it's the side character that appeared for <10 seconds in AvM Ep. 30))
a few fav scenes
emotional support cwab
they weren't meant for this purpose exactly, but i do have countless "fluffy sticks" loose in my notes and homework sheets from the school years.
papery critter.
even when i wasn't confident in fur or feathers, they helped me practice posing and create some satisfying gradients/flowing poses. (im a sucker for good tail poses) (oh yay! i found a good pic...)
and finally, little sneak peak for you for reading so far ;3
i realized that whiteboardfox is pretty great for my working needs. simple and to the point and all. feels nice with the mouse and the tablet.
so i started hashing out a big project idea just to see if it holds up and
[
several hours later ...
]
oh
oh man
it's a little bigger than i expected
<next>
#--/ art#alan becker#animator vs animation#animation vs minecraft#Minecraft bed#ava the dark lord#ava the chosen one#me when the project that obviously wasn't going to be done in one night isn't done in one night: D: !?!?!?!?#kudos to whoever routed the Speedrun actual short because that one is so fun and clean and savvy#clever made up time-savers? includes orange's TNT shield-jump?? nonlethal dragon dispatch??? sweet#ithink you can see where i tried to head with this#turns out that turning up the complexity 98 notches higher makes things trickier to parse hmmmmmm?#in fact i might need some help with this one ;>v>' like a lot.#i had a bit of a story and route set up already i just... wanted to make sure everything was at least kinda there...................#we'll see#the pie joke. i was trying to categorize which foodstuffs chosen should be able to make on the fly. with their flame hands.#ex. cooking meats makes sense because flint and steel works for the same purpose (you can kill a burning animal to get cooked meats)#but baking bread or drying kelp seems way more involved or whatever -> needs a proper furnace environment#HOWEVER... i noticed that Steve can just summon pumpkin pies from his bare hands if he wants to without even a workbench. so. sure! lol.#this is scraping the surface of the minutiae i want to consider#(ALSO KUDOS to everyone who RUNS/works on all-advancements. of course. riding on your shoulders here)#final joke is that chosen didn't know how crazy this undertaking would be to learn#but dark is very literally programmable. so you could maybe just plug some TAS instructions into him and off he goes#or even more open-ended than that just give him the list of advancements + stipulations + the wiki and similar result#it'd get done but. i dont think he'd find that fun at all. prefers to write his own instructions if you see what i mean#i might be forgetting some context. it is rather late you see. please ask me questions about this! ;P#tco aa
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i cant get over the whole time in the real world rick just sat there watching over morty and when he woke up finally rick sounded SO happy the way he just yelled his name excitedly the second he woke up,,,
#i miss them already….#AND ALSO AT THE END. MORTY WAS KIND OF IN A WAY WHAT STOPPED RICK FROM JUMPING INTO THE HOLE TO SEE DIANE.#you saw him like look sad for a second that he wouldn’t get to see her but then his expression changed to a firm one when he decided he was#-going to put mortys picture on the wall and then his little smile after he did… morty isn’t dianes replacement hes even better than that#THATS HOW I SEE IT THOUGH. one of the biggest appeals of r&m to me is just how they are eachothers absolute favourite and they outweigh-#-everything the others ever known. i think this episode really showed that alot.#despite everything he’s seen and experienced mortys biggest fear is rick not caring about him#and like. that’s funny bc that’s a thing where everybody knows for a fact that’s literally impossible#the biggest contributor for why SO many things in the show have happened is rick loves morty more than anything#also that one part in the whole sequence with them growing up where it showed r&m drinking togehter that made me so happy bc like#it was one of those moments where i was like. Oh yeah duhdoy i almost forgot they’re going to be best friends for ever and ever#hhhgg. so many good things so much so much. also im probably not going to touch this episode for a week lol#i Need time ok.#rick and morty#rick and morty spoilers#odiespeak
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the cat seems to like being dragged across the floor that he goes still as im hauling him across the kitchen. he is a little too easygoing it scares me
#I’ve also worried for weeks that if I bring the vacuum out he’ll freak out but it turns out he will just stare#and hes never like tried to pee in the house. in fact he’s very polite when he’s exploring that he’s only really jumped up on#the couch when prompted. i don’t think anything fazes this guy except the car which is probably for his own good#it’s getting easier to carry him too now cuz like now I’ll just pick him up and he’ll go oh ok we’re doing this#and he’s smart enough that when he isn’t poking the bowl to say he wants water he’ll grab my attention and then look between me and the#bowl as if saying hey. hey. can you offer me a drink.. hey.#but he also begged my brother for his spaghetti because he thought it was wet food lol#still trying to earn my dads favor without any luck 😐#yapping#Swiper#swiperposting
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crumpled pocketful of offbook scraps that are just so wildly clashy and have nothing to do with each other but uhhhh. Enjoy i guess
#my art#off book#Douglas is supposed to be like a busted bottom shelf archaeopteryx#also the top one as you might guess was supposed to be the top half of a full size drawing page but it went awry#and only those top two survived lol#the ‘jacket’ that karm is wearing at the bottom is actually the double d deep v shirt she bought that busted apart#from the 2nd encore episode#she still wears it as a short sleeved robe#blair is playing nintendogs#he keeps failing the agility contests#also shoutout to everyone else who was making crossover headcanons for acofaf and Infinity Time Infinity Wine#i feel in my heart that douglas’s villain origin story has to do with his cousins always getting to go to the Bloom instead of him#had to jump in the infinity pool to one up them#and also make the birds grandfather invented based off of him instead of the lords of the wing
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Hey, I was wondering if you create headcannons for the Blush Blush boys. If so, I was wondering 👀
Can you describe how any of the immortal characters (Stirling, Seth, Reece?, Aki, Haru, Fuyu) would react if their SO/MC/Love interest reincarnates after they die of old age for example?
I’m a huge fan of reincarnation x immortal stuff, cause it gives off a happy ending and hope that their love will never die even if they’re reborn in a different time💖
I wanna start at the top by saying I think all of them freak out at least a little bit when they see their long dead lover seemingly up and alive again
I'll get into each one individually but needless to say, it's a bit of a shock to the lot of them
also I did a thing about The Immortals dealing with your death (that I will but a link to here later but right now I can't be bothered to shift through my many bullshit posts to find it atm OOPS SORRY)
(ps: love your stuff btw!!! <3 )
STARTING OFF
Stirling:
I think he's gone through this too many times and loves the drama of it all too much to ever have him claim that he will never love again after you (at least not forever)
but suffice it to say he doesn't think he'll ever have a love like you again in any of his life times worth of living he has left to get through
he also didn't become a vampire to kick the bucket quickly nor does he think he'll be headed in the same direction as you when he eventually does so he's in no particular hurry to 'follow you' as it were
so he has made his peace with forever longing for you and eternally mourning your passing a little bit all the time
until one day he happens to spot
well
you
I mean it can't be you but he knows that face
he knows that body
that aura, that smile
it's definitely you
your face was probably in the crowd at one of his competitions
he did loose points for how he fumbled when he clocked you
(but he still won don't get it twisted)
I think the moment his routine is done he b-lines it to his dressing room then directly to go find 'you'
he does find you in a crowd and nervously and suddenly asks if you'd like to go for dinner with him
like
now
right now.
how bout it??
you tentatively say yes and you two end up having the most awkward dinner of either of your lives
he's trying so hard not to flip out cause it's definitely you but also it can't be
can it????
BUT YOU WERE DEAD
he slowly begins to romance you
the new you
which is a lot like the old you
I think he's the handsome yet mysterious man who is romancing you and he doesn't fully let anything slip until one night you stay over and you find a painting of what is definitely but also so not you on the wall
cue him finding you staring at it and accidentally scaring you
only to calm you down then explain the whole sorted mess
and how he believes you are the reincarnation of his lover
I think no matter what there's going to be some push and pull moving forward
he has to decide if he loves you or just the idea of you that acts as some theoretical replacement for his great dead love
will there be a happy ending??
will love prevail??
can love continue on even after death??
only time will tell...
but he does not intend to give up on you that easily...
Seth:
you being reincarnated is actually his doing
against his best laid plans, you didn't end up in hell with him when you died
I think he could only stand it for a few months before he called in a favor and got your soul entered into the reincarnation program
that DOES mean he'll have to wait 18+ years to even attempt to make a move
and also that you won't remember him
or much if anything of your previous life
which means there's a 50/50 toss up that you'll be happily taken when he can actually find you again
he doesn't watch over you as you grow cause that's too creepy
but he does put some lesser demons/spirits to keep an eye on you and keep you safe
he doesn't want to have to start this process all over again
nor does he know how many otherworldly favors he can rely on for this
I think he 'randomly' bumps into you one day when you're old enough and he starts flirting and asks you out
I think whether or not he tells you about the whole deal will depend on how things play out
he doesn't necessarily see the need to but on the other hand
maybe it's worth you knowing
also it's the biggest romantic move he ever pulled
also honesty is nice in a relationship
but all in all it's just nice to have you back again
where he can see and hold and kiss you
also he probably had to call in a favor just to get to the mortal realm in the first place
idk he's burning a lot of big favors for this meet cute to go down but it's worth it
Reece:
I think with Reece it's less of a reincarnation and more an alt time line version of you
one where you never met and you got to live your life without it being crash landed into by a space traveling cat boy
I think at first he meant to keep his distance
you're not HIS you after all
but he couldn't help but watch you just
exist
for a bit
he missed you
and I think one thing lead to another and he ended up bumping into you and you gave him that cute smile and he didn't mean to but he heard himself asking you for coffee before he could give it a second thought
and then before he could give it a second word you had said yes
and then he was just over come with joy cause you said yes to a date so excitedly and quickly
it all kinda just
happened
I think you have a wonderful first date and he spends most of it working up the courage to tell you everything and also just enjoying the date
but towards the end of it he finally fesses up
you guys had done all this before
well, a different version of you in another timeline/universe
but all the same
he has already gone down this road
and now he's just doing it again cause it's hard for him to stay away from you
but you are gone
were gone
are
in his version of things anyway
and this was fun but maybe...
maybe it should end here
one last night
where he got to tell you goodbye
(with a kiss)
but this is Definitely Not Dr Who bby--- something crazy happens at the end and the goodbyes are put on hold while you two go on Just This One crazy space adventure (that is totally not just this one lol)
CUE THE DOCTOR WHO THEME BEING PLAYED ON THAT CAT PIANO!
Aki:
OOO BOY IS THIS DUDE IN DENIAL
no grace, no decorum, no hesistation
he sees your face in a crowd and runs up and hugs you and begins to tear up as he says how much he missed you
meanwhile you are in the iron grip of big excitable fox man (time has past since your death and he's grown some) whom you definitely don't know and also he's calling you bunny
you try to tell him he's got the wrong person sorry
BUT HE IS HEARING NONE OF IT
cue him telling you all about your lives together and talking you to the home of the autumn clan and doing anything and everything to desperately rejog your memories
if you do get your memories back then commence Aki's great romance two electric boogaloo
but if you can't then he will get so heart broken
he'll ask you to still stay
let him learn the new you
let him show you the him you forgot
let him love you again
please don't leave him
(if you do decide to leave low key Aki will follow you and try to check in on you from time to time)
(if not out right sneak stalk you)
(please accept his feelings reincarnated love-chan)
Haru:
shocked, stunned, shook
he sees your face from across the bar and he can't believe it
like actually he can't believe it
he ends up staring for a really long time
then he's just watching you from different spots around the bar
getting better looks at different angles
keeping the biggest eye on you and drinking you in
yep
it's definitely you
but it can't be
they must just look like you
a lot like you
like exactly
must be a distant relatives
genetics are crazy
or maybe you had a love child...???
NO.
no no no no
you were Haru's loyal mate until the day you died
you wouldn't
and even if you did, you def would've invited him to the threesome
(one of the reasons he loved you so much)
whatever
he must be so drunk out of his mind and crazy lonely that he's seeing shit
whatever, they're hot and he could use a you substitute in his bed (not like he's had many people in his bed after you anyway-- too heart broken)
so fuck it, fuck them (like, in the sex way not the angry way)
so he goes up and starts hitting on them and when they turn around
oh no
they're definitely you
right down to the look they're giving him
I won't lie, he panics and bolts
he can't stop freaking out about last night all the next day
so he goes to that bar again and low and behold there you are again
Haru can't tell if he's relieved or more panicked by that
but still he has to dig some more
so he goes back over, trying the whole time not to absolutely loose it
gives you some line about being overcome by your beauty which is why he left in a panic haha
but seriously he'd love to get dinner with you sometime, here's his number, give him a call
oh also what's your name
he again can't tell if he's happy or freaked when you do actually call
he spends the whole dinner gently prying for info and just generally vibe checking to see if they're like his dead lover
and they really are
they definitely look it
and thus begins Haru's new torment of being so fucking CONFLICTED
he's so freaked that it's like you're alive again but also so happy to have you by his side
I think there's a lot of push and pull until he spills the beans
and then even more after he does
this is about to be the messiest relationship of Haru's life
which is saying something
BUT HE CAN'T NOT, IT'S YOU
Fuyu:
Fuyu bumps into you by chance and he's the most torn up about it of the lot of them
and visibly so too, he can't hide his feelings on this even a little bit
I think he is the quickest to tell you the whole thing
and also he calls you by the name of your past life (which may or may not be your name now)
he really does believe you are his heavenly gift sent back to him because your love is so fated
he takes some time getting used to
it's actually funny, this is the exact opposite of who you two were the first time
he's so unbelievably open to you from the word go
he bares his heart and feelings so much
you look so much like yourself before you left him, he can't help it
you were his safe place that he let all his walls down around
he can't put them back up now
his heart is beating open and bloody for you
he doesn't try and play it cool, he doesn't beat around the bush
he let's you know who you were to him
ARE to him
and asks you to be his once again
steam rolling you with love
and then waiting 'patiently' (not patient, he's sitting by like a puppy who wants a bite of your food) for you answer
it's quite a situation you find yourself in, isn't it
#bear text#blush blush game#blush blush#bear talks#bb game#sad panda studios#kitsune bundle#haru#fuyu#aki#reece#seth#stirling#I won't lie so--- the takahashi inspired haru fic I have brewing DOES involve a massive time jump but surprisingly DOESN'T involve#reincarnations even though YOU'D THINK IT WOULD given the style of show it's directly inspired by lol#dead ass tho everytime Inuyasha is still torn cause he's pining over Kikyo like BRUH#I get she didn't mean to kill you originally but she's now fully aware of what's going on and she's still trying to kill you and Kagome lik#a handful of times I know the first love is the deepest but she's also a walking corpse and at some point ya gotta let it go my guy#y'all were sweet and shit but too much has happened and also you low key have a new girl who looks just like your ex like--- just#side note the og ranma was taken off d plus while I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF WATCHING IT and now I'm basically fucked I'm so SAD
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ILY FP 258
I can't believe we're actually passed episode 250 lmao I Love Yoo is truly the never ending story (affectionate). I appreciate how much of the story we really get to dig into at this pace and while I know a lot of people have long-since dropped it, I imagine the rest of us (those reading this post because why else are you here?) also appreciate it. And that's what is even more refreshing about this episode - if refreshing is even a word we can use to describe it. Getting the extra scenes from other characters, a look at their lives and from these glimpses, what we can glean in the unsaid between the lines.
Can you believe I used to prey on Kousuke's downfall? There's so many posts of me talking about him from a different view, believing that the only way he could grow and develop and make the changes necessary to make him a better person was for him to crash and burn, to fail so significantly that he would be forced to pen his eyes to reality. But here we are, me, fervently swaddling him up like a baby and shoving him into my pocket because GOD he needs to be protected.
I don't even remember when it was, that my view on him began to shift, when I went from "he's interesting but awful" to "GOD THIS IS MY SON AND I WILL FIGHT EVERYONE YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME" but.... lol there's no going back!
That's enough rambling, let's jump in.
There is something so painfully devastating about every time ILY confirms to us something we have long-since known or suspected through nuance, foreshadowing, reading between the lines, etc: That Kousuke isn't Rand's biological son, that Shinae was at the formal for Gun Kim, that Kousuke has been manipulated his whole life. Nothing in this episode regarding Kousuke is actually new to us. We have known, and talked about, for months and months long before the confirmation reveal that Yui drugs Kousuke - that he has been manipulated by her his entire life, that she orchestrated his life to manipulate him into situations she could take advantage of. It's the way she spoke about Rand's affair around Kousuke, the way she commodified Rand's love so Kousuke became convinced he'd never earned his father's love, the way she spoke of their family vs others and convinced him from such a young age that everyone was out to get them, to destroy them, and that he couldn't let them get close, couldn't let them near - and how Nol was very much a target planted in his mind.
But it's the fact that he is speaking of this and acknowledging it! Until now, Kousuke has heavily lived in denial. Again, we know this. We talk a lot about the chasm between reality and the reality he believes in. We talk a lot about how Kousuke couldn't face reality, even though on some level he knew everything he believed and was told was not quite true not quite real, but that he was so afraid of the truth, he couldn't do it. Kousuke admitting that he's been driven by fear and envy explains everything about him, and why he could not accept the only unwavering unconditional love he was offered.
A few weeks ago I saw a video on instagram of this father talking about a conversation he had with his daughter, who was feeling a little uncomfortable with her friend group. A new girl started to play with her and her best friend and she said she wasn't exactly jealous, but that maybe it was that she was afraid that there wasn't enough love to go around. Her dad had to explain to her that love is not like a pizza - it's not finite, a limited amount that could be taken and hogged by someone else. But Kousuke never learned this. His father's love was commodified and he was made to fear this other kid who he mistakenly believed knew a version of his father he'd never been privy to. He never learned that love is finite, that Rand could have enough love for the both of them, and feared that Nol would hog it all - that he WAS hogging it all because whether or not it was good or bad, Nol received more attention that Kousuke did. And that speaks VOLUMES about how Kousuke sees Rand, what he thinks of their relationship. In his mind, he is still unworthy, that he's not noteworthy enough.
This part gets to me so badly. We, as omniscient readers, know that Rand has tried his best, but that Yui runs a spectacular interference with which he can't compete, largely because of the roles their family have placed them in - Rand the busy businessman, Yui the mommy homemaker. But no matter how hard he tries, it isn't good enough. Rand tries to reach Kousuke, but the manipulation and paranoia are so far gone that the times Rand does have the chance to convey his feelings, Kousuke can't even believe it, because he thinks he's not good enough to deserve that love, that he hasn't fully qualified for it yet. And despite that, Nol, who Kousuke feels hasn't done half of what he has to deserve Rand's love, gets the attention. It doesn't matter that it's negative attention, that Rand barks at Nol, that Nol feels Rand hates and regrets him, because ultimately, it's still more than Kousuke receives. And worse, to him, every time Rand is busy reprimanding Nol, he turns away from Kousuke to do it.
I want to make it clear that this is a deep trauma point of Kousuke's. He's never learned healthy love and the only person who gave him healthy love was someone he was set to fear and fight. Something I think about a lot is the flashback to Kousuke, in the bushes, watching Nessa and Nol's display of warm affection, before Yui appears literally looming before him. In that moment, he witnesses something he's been deprived of. "We're not like other families"'. He's told from a young age he shouldn't compare himself to those healthy families, to warm and affectionate relationships that he will not cultivate in this household. From such a young age it is normalized, that they aren't like others, that they are cold and distant. From a young age, he's made to stuff down his feelings, his tender wants and desires, in order to earn them. To be a good little boy who makes his parents proud. To make his father look his way.
There's also something about the way he says "I've been a good boy" that echoes Shinae learning she's been manipulated by Yui, devastated and angry and yelling about how she's been a good girl so why do these things keep happening to her, all she wanted to do was help her dad. Two people who, from a young age, felt they had to be so obedient, so good, to not be a burden, and despite following the rules, despite doing as they were told, despite trying to be whatever version of "good" they believed in, the world still beat them up and mistreated them. The world still punished them.
As Rin in our discord server pointed out, though, to some degree, Kousuke is very much a person who can - and does - act out, when he's emotionally high-strung. He's a volatile man, and it's largely to do with the fact that he's been drugged to placate him for so long. He never learned emotional regulation, he never learned how to deal with high-stress situations or to face conflict or to own up to things. This is something that some readers who hate Kousuke and expect him to act a certain way because of his age are missing. You don't just learn these things with age. You learn them with experience and Kousuke was deprived of the opportunity TO have those experiences. He never had to learn these behaviors, and now as an adult he cannot function when overwhelmed.
Idk this whole episode is just heartbreaking. It's devastating. I remember when I was someone praying on Kousuke's downfall and now I want to take it all back ;___; I always believed he had to crash and burn to be able to see the world for what it really was and to face his fears, but this is somehow so much worse.
And even though he's drunk, I don't think he's going to forget all of this in the morning. Rather, I think what he's voicing are things that have been plaguing him since waking up in the hospital. From that moment, we saw him wary and distrustful of his mother, we saw his concern for Nol rising above everything else, but grappling with the understanding that he doesn't deserve to stand in front of Nol anymore. These aren't epiphanies coming to him just because he's drunk; it's more like he's only voicing them because he's drunk. But even when he sobers up, he will probably still be haunted by these fears, these agonies, these truths, this understanding.
How does he face his mother after this? How does he face anyone? He may not even feel like he can trust Jayce - who while very kind to him, is still employed by his family. He may not even feel like he can trust Hansuke (though I really hope that's not the case).
He's so miserable and it genuinely hurts to have him lay it all out for us - everything we've known and suspected, like how it was so painfully clear he WANTED Nol's friendship, their brotherhood, but feared it, didn't believe that there was enough love to go around, that there could only be one of them and that even if it was for good or bad reasons, Nol cast him in the shadow. And all these years, watching as Nol, as Yeonggi, grew into this person who sounded so very much like this unknown version of their father, someone funny who makes others laugh, someone goofy, someone so boyish in the ways Kousuke was never allowed to be. Watching as he gathers friends, while Kousuke, so unlikeable, is wanted only for his money, for his status, for the clout.
He doesn't even know WHO HE IS! Questioning his own traits he's believed of himself, wondering if this is even him, if these parts of him are real or does he just act it, say it, pretend it, while trying to fulfill a role he was shoved into. That makes me feel SO deeply sad, because it's something I've been anticipating for so long: Kousuke wondering WHO he really is, how much of him is real and how much of it is the result of manipulation.
And that moment that he catches himself and says no no that's offensive and rude you can't be like that. ;AAA;
For him to admit how much he envies others, how much he craves the kind of connection others have, the kind of family others have, to feel that love and warmth that he's been deprived of, forced to endure this solitude because, as he believes, he didn't get the good parts of Rand. And what will happen when he learns that Rand isn't his father? That he never stood a chance to inherit any of those traits. Kousuke has operated on this belief that, if he tries hard enough, he can earn the things he craves, but I fear learning about his parenthood will make him think that no matter how hard he tried, he would never earn that, because none of it was ever him, could have gone to him.
I think this is where Shinae, in the future, will come in. I feel so very strongly that she will be someone who helps Kousuke to see that this isn't true, that these kinds of personality traits aren't something inherited, but rather something learned. For him to one day realize it's the paralyzing fear that holds him back, not his genetics. Of course, I acknowledge this will still take a lot of therapy but...
Something else very remarkable to me is the way Kousuke recognizes Shinae in Shinhye, because their eyes "feel the same" and he opens up to her - on some level, whether or not he is consciously aware of it, Kousuke knows, or maybe just wants to, that he can trust Shinae. That she is someone who is safe. He even knows how she feels about his mother. I don't think we'll see a lot of Kousuke and Shinae's friendship until we're passed our timeskips, but it makes me feel a little hopeful about it, that she'll be able to reach him, because she feels like someone who is safe. It's the way he sees Nol in her and wants to try to have that do over, a relationship with someone who has unconditional love for him. It's the way he knows he mistreated Nol, that it was wrong, that he took it all out on this kid he was so afraid of because he had no other outlet, and he wants to do better but knows that there's nothing to salvage anymore.
But also, it just makes me hope more and more that in the future we WILL see a reconciliation between the brothers. As I say every time, it doesn't mean they have to become brothers or friends, but I just want them to see each other fully. Kousuke knows what he did to Nol. He doesn't deny it, even if he might not say it out loud unless he's drunk. But Nol is still so in the dark. Yujing is trying to tip him off and make him aware of it, but I hope one day when Nol realizes it, when he finds out that Kousuke, too, was Yui's victim, that he wasn't the only one, that Kousuke was made to fear Nol's love, he might.... understand. I'm saying understand here loosely because I don't want people to get the idea that I mean Nol will forgive him and Kousuke will be justified, but rather that Nol would be able to understand why Kousuke felt that way, and move on. But I can't help but hope that it will lead to an understanding, a reconciliation, where maybe they can try to be in each other's lives.
I think it's also interesting that Shinhye was somewhat honest, even if she wasn't very forthcoming, with Kousuke about her own family. It sounds like her mother has been gone for a long time, that she's been on her own the whole while, and I think it reinforces the idea that she believes both that Simhan is her father and that he rejected her, that he didn't want anything to do with her. It lines up, too, with how she feels that he wouldn't react well if he saw her (although I think she credited that to looking like their mother). In the same way that Shinae has felt abandoned and cast aside by their mother, Shinhye probably thinks their father never tried reach out, to find them, to maintain a relationship with her. Or perhaps it's that her mother fed her lies about him, made her believe him a different type of man, made her believe there would never be anything of their relationship to salvage. And given that she's the one who Kousuke opened to, it makes me think that there must be some kind of parallel there; the way she mentioned her own mother feels like maybe her mother, too, was a manipulative - or at the very least, dishonest - person.
I don't speculate a lot on Shinhye because frankly I don't think I know enough about her to really try to talk about her, but I do think that it's very likely there's some kind of connection between Shinhye and the Hirahras or Gun. To be clear, I don't believe she's working with Yui at all. I think it's more like... Alyssa isn't the only girl who has been trafficked by Gun. What's the likelihood that Shinae and Shinhye's mother was? Given her history, the gambling addiction that was so egregious her reputation haunted Shinae and chased her to a new neighborhood and school, was she seeking money somewhere else, somewhere more dangerous? Is that part of why they had to change their name? There's so many questions left about them, and I look forward to learning more about her, but, much like with Alyssa, I think it will take time and be dropped in little tidbits like this - things to read into and try to glean something from.
And maybe we'll see more of this duo in the future? It would feel a little weird to give them this one single run in, but I'm not entirely sure. Quimchee likes to keep us on our toes. After all, Minhyuk and Shinhye have also had only the one run in. Still, I think it would be interesting to watch, if Shinhye ever felt.... I want to say maybe compelled? to dig in more to Kousuke, ever feel a kind of kinship. I don't think she'll open up to him at all, but rather, maybe she'd keep going back because a. he's wealthy and there's more she can nick from him (assuming he doesn't realize she stole anything while in his apartment, if he even remembers any of this) and b. wanting to gather more intel.
Like I said though, she's hard to read so I don't want to cling too hard to any ideas and, instead, sit back and enjoy the show.
#ILY Brainrot#ILY FP#ILY Spoilers#I Love Yoo#Kousuke Hirahara#Shinhye#idk what to tag her as because we know she isn't known as Shinhye anymore#and because Simhan and their mother never married AND she was from a previous relationship Yoo isn't even her family name#so I can't really use Shinhye Yoo lol#alas#anyway this episode was DEVASTATING and quimchee said it's the beginning of the sad episodes meant to happen in March#literally said 'It's all downhill from here'#which I take to mean til the timeskip#BUCKLE UP BABIES WE'RE GOING FOR A BIG CRY SESH ;______;#i gotta say tho this episode didn't even make me cry - i guess because none of this is new and I've been bracing myself for it#Kousuke is so fucking wet cat it agonizes me ;_____;#I could write a whole essay on how Yui destroyed him and Nol in one fell swoop#i think a lot about precocious little Kousuke who tried so hard to be a good little boy and rushed through school because he wanted so badl#to hurry up and catch up to his father and join him in the workplace#all the opportunities he lost#the way he tried to fit himself into a personality a person he never picked out but just believed would get him what he wanted#he lost himself in the process#or maybe he never even got to know himself#i think too a lot about Kousuke who played piano and gave it up when he came to believe it wasn't important to his dad#that it didn't garner the attention and praise he seeked#so he dropped it to better mold himself into someone he thought Rand WOULD be proud of#FUCKING DEVASTATED#I'M GOING TO JUMP OFF THE ROOF SOBS
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Any thoughts about your Hello Es AU?🎤
Thank you ooh -- this was so fun to think about! (I did some art earlier here :)) Spoiler warning for all three episodes of Hello Charlotte 🧸👁️🩸
So, out there in the real world somewhere, there exists “real Es”, (the Charles of the story) who has created Es as his perfect protagonist/ideal identity. Real Es ends up killing someone, and undergoing some kind of psychotic break that creates The House (now known as The Prison). Various people from his life appear there, each with their own murder, reflecting Real Es’ complex feelings about their own crime.
Es/Charlotte – A puppet at the whims of the audience. They have many forms along with conflicting thoughts and motivations. As lax as they may get about their own safety, they always take their duty to the tenets very seriously. They have a little Magalope pet :3 I know in canon the characters are separate, but I’m still picturing them as some combination of Q84 and Ep1/2 Charlotte.
Fuuta/Felix – The fiery friend who's all bark and no bite. He’s the most openly aggressive out of everyone, but still ends up trying to help people around him. Through his attempts to do something helpful, his recklessness, and need to be treated as an adult, he can find himself in pretty significant danger.
Kazui/Aiden – Calm and quiet, but you get a sense he's very observant to the current situation in his silence. Just because he prefers to do his tailoring/piano hobbies doesn't mean he doesn’t have that underlying demon strength. The most parental over Es, even if they're not always receptive.
Shidou/Huxley – A doctor/scientist with a desire to help save the most (alien) lives that he can, even if it means living on the run as a criminal, as well as an odd coolness when it comes to unethical medical procedures.
Mikoto and John/Bennett – when he’s high on soap, he’s as cheery as always :) Just a normal working guy, you probably won’t even remember his face under the hazmat suit, very normal :) When the effects wear off and the stress gets to him, though, John fronts and isn't afraid to defend himself from any perceived threat.
Yuno/Florence – Puts up a cheery front and is happy to work when she's having fun. After a bit of prodding, she reveals a much more serious and jaded side. She gets along with everyone, but isn't afraid to tell her real feelings to Es when the time is right.
Haruka and Muu /Anri – I’m kind of splitting Anri to make two characters, still capturing her fluctuating status in school and attitude of give-and-receive in friendships. They're caring but clingy, they can be protective but also aggressive. Both of them go back and forth between the personalities we see from her in all three episodes.
Amane/Frei – (I know in canon Frei is another Charlotte, so I think that works well given how close they are in age and stubbornness.) She sees things through a view of gods/religion, even if not everyone sees the situation that way. She's a bit at odds with Es, trying to persuade them to join in her mindset, but genuinely cares for their well-being while doing it.
Mahiru/Vincent – The new friend with some strange delusions of a perfect “heavenly” world, a hobby of literature, and suicidal intentions. Es takes pity on her after she receives serious injuries from people who reject her. Real Es developed some kind of attachment to her real counterpart (like Charles' idolization of Vincent), and this manifests into Mahiru crazy about relationships and love.
Kotoko/Scarlett – Has a close mindset to Es (close enough to stem more directly from them) but her intensity and drive for perfection/justice turn them into enemies in some timelines. She gets the closest look at the “real” situation compared to the others, seeing behind the scenes and criticizing Es and the Prison as a whole. She's determined she could do better herself, and Es takes her up on that…
—
I’m not going to make a whole post, but for a reverse au I think it’d be fun to see The House tenants featured in Charles’ milgram mv – as the focal character, the audience/Warden would probably assume Charlotte was his victim. Only later would they realize that Charlotte is the stand-in for himself, and that truly he feels responsible for not stopping Vincent’s suicide.
#milgram#es#haruka sakurai#yuno kashiki#fuuta kajiyama#muu kusunoki#shidou kirisaki#mahiru shiina#kazui mukuhara#amane momose#mikoto kayano#john milgram#kotoko yuzuriha#hello charlotte#i know anri really fits muu but i ran out of characters for haruka 😭 so he gets to be part of anri too lol#i wasnt picturing a separation of agressive anri/sad anri -- both of them are both versions#i really wanted mappi as bennett with her cheeriness but it worked so much better this way#ah... what i would give to be in the secret clone room..... Who Said That#im picturing the hello charlotte soundtrack getting mv songs mixed in (but piano/music box versions)#and im wondering if charles' mv genre would be the sweet piano vibe or the more intense kind from the soundtrack#sorry this is jumping in front of some of the drabbles because theyre taking longer than expected and these were quicker to jot down#thank you for the ask pal!!#i had a lot of fun thinking about these ough#amane frei was a last minute choice but ive been going crazy thinking about her.....#and the thought of lab team 02-03-09 made me so happy asdfsdf
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I think that nightmare living with his boys after the truce(actually even before that) is literally hearing a clink and him yelling "KILLER, DUST, GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN AND STOP FIGHTING"
(I don't know if I worded that right so I'm sorry if you can't understand-)
Oh absolutely!! When Nightmare hears rummaging around in any room he has to go check, because usually it's just Horror preparing food or one of them doing something, but there's always a chance he's about to break up a fight
What I like to imagine is how long after an agreed truce (and assuming Dream comes to visit now and then) does Dream feel confident enough to break up the fights
(He's very good at it, as it turns out)
#Ask#Anon#UTDR#UTMV#I understood perfectly anon you're all good! :D#And yeah Nightmare cannot go a full week without becoming a referee lol#They don't realise it yet but Dream can really shout when he wants to#And it's like when the chill teacher gets mad it really catches everybody by surprise#When Nightmare tells them to stop they grumble and shuffle out#When Dream tells them to stop they fuckin jump back
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Adventurer Zenos and G'raha cause I had to draw my silly guys. I just enjoy the idea of Zenos hanging out with fellow bookworms and being begrudgingly (though occasionally willingly) helpful.
#ffxiv#sketch#concept#fan art#zenos yae galvus#adventurer zenos#g'raha tia#man my mind really just said zenos is going “begone simp” to raha#which is ironic yes#but I love the idea that student of baldesion zenos is just an over observant dork#“my taxes now catboy”#though I write adventurer zenos- or at least this point in time for him before DT as him being a bit more reflective and way more reserved#just trying to figure out what exactly he actually enjoys doing while not relying on the WoL for it#I promise this means that down the line writing wise he's gonna treat the students and scions as his dragon hoard#toning down? hell no#this man doubles down- just with more people#-I dont actually know how to explain it fully in words#basically hes protective over those he cares about but only to the point of when they're actually in mortal danger#undoubtedly the bad influence that in turn gets people out of trouble and will call people out for being dumb#all the while freefalling off of cliffs as one of the only people who could fly in the group#barring estiniens jumping#Also I just wanted to give Raha a character that would absolutely spend hours with him talking about history and the allagans lol
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Yo!
So I wanted to have something ready for the holy kickstarter anniversary day but it’s taking far longer then intended🥲
Just so it’s on the record there was an attempt at being punctual…
#touchstarved art#wip#didn’t mean to be gone this long but we’re working on getting out art motivation back slowly#anyways happy anniversary! I’m literally jumping off my walls over the trailer theme song…like foaming#I could go on an hour long rant with then things it’s doing to my brain rn#why is Mhin’s ‘part’ my absolute favorite? why is the father son duo cutting ppl off? why did it glitch???#Ais?bby???is mc ‘my weakness’??? is he ‘pardon my octo parasite void friend’-ing us???#anyways this was entirely random lol
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has anybody else thought about how jk could easily manage sofia's parts of slow dance or is it just me?
#jikook#bts#everybody is working to insert jk in who where i just don't see it (other than the seven parallels)#and not talking much about what i see as WAY more obvious nods most especially in rebirth#like jm sings about wanting to be worthy of someone - maybe someone who just became a huge SOLO global popstar?#and mentions 'real love' - what was the name of that chapter in the bangtan book again?#and the feminine pronouns not present it's just the nebulous 'you' that in jimin songs often stands in for 'army'#(and one very specific 'fan' who has said he is ALSO army)#it's the 'i wanna be with you'#the answer for jk's 'i am still' with its unspoken additional 'still with you' layer#and then we get slow dance and we're back to the nebulous 'you' - on an island he-#oh wait what was that about a pair that traveled to an island? and filmed some stuff there that we'll see soon? hm#the reason this set me off though is the lines about 'cancelling my plans' to live to 'the tempo of our favorite song'#the falling deep into lines etc etc#because we know what happens when those two get together - they lose track of time everything else fades away#it's why they haven't done lives. why 'you and me' are 'up all night' why jm knows that as soon as jk is around#his self-discipline will crack and he'll fall into the pattern he tried to head off by separating from jk while making face#and we *know* jimin wrote on this song#frankly if he *hadn't* gotten a female feature everybody would be JUMPING on this song as a jikook anthem#the inclusion of sofia works perfectly - like hammering the pin back in a grenade#but i was reading those lines and thinking how high she went and going who else could sing this ...?#huh. who do we know of who can sing *anything*? and who has a range that can hit and blend with jimin's perfectly?#so. i dunno. y'all do your delulu the way that works for you and i will do my delulu my way lol#personally i think the eyes in the mv look like a screenshot from the love wins all mv but that's only me#i think the parallels with seven work more#and speaking of parallels (there are so many) i think this album was built to ensure jm is on equal footing with a certain someone#it's the commerciality of it - as though jm was like we will be together in this as well#when he seems not to be super interested in global domination but still 'special' enough to be on the same level with his love
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