#he's been through so much and is still actually able to be nice which really says a lot abt him
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So, I read the response above which is so interesting, and I want to keep thinking about it, and then after that had these interesting tags in my feed from @bloodyentrails...
#i think that sam being compassionate towards certain people is kinda normal we tend to relate on a personal level#and him being queer-coded etc doesn't mean you have to care about him#just that that is a thing?#idk what kind of discourse i'm wandering into a lot of the time but relating to characters#and understanding they have been written in a certain way isn't the same thing#which is to say that i would love it if the writing had tackled that inconsistency#but i find that the show on the whole is inconsistent#and i think it's hard to maintain consistency over so many years with so many people working on it#i do think both of them are *trying* to be good people and they sometimes fail and also what constitutes a good person is kinda open#anyway#bear in mind i'm still only halfway through so#maybe i'll change my mind on all this#spn
It's a point worth considering that in the world of the show, Sam's sympathy for monsters seems principled and some how defies gravity, but that in the real world it wouldn't translate to anything real; that's likely true, and an interesting point. Having said that, I think Sam is pretty clearly not particularly"real world" compassionate, and I don't need monsters to make the argument that Sam is not the compassionate one because he shows a general lack of empathy towards PEOPLE, including but by no means limited to Dean, throughout the show. And, ok, he sometimes argues for a compassionate response to monsters and Dean doesn't always respond favourably, but that's because Sam fears he is one, and he needs to believe monsters are not all bad, which is not borne out of compassion, it's a rationalization that serves his psychological needs.
Basically, I think Sam is all surface. Sam is the urbane one, the smart one, the compassionate one, the one who talks nice to people, the broadly queer-coded one, the feminist, etc., but with Sam, all that is skin deep. He APPEARS as such! He's good at pretending, but he's nearly as savage as John is, Dean is much more sensitive to other people's needs, Dean is every bit as clever as he is, and intuitive to boot, Sam can ACT compassionate, but in fact he isn't really very empathetic to anyone, and he is able to just move on from all the things Dean just can't, Sam's not in fact queer, but Dean is queered to his fucking bones, and Sam's the one whose unconsciously replicated misogyny allows him to think any woman that would be into Dean is obviously a whore, and to keep his girlfriend in the dark about the truth of his life, while Dean is just talking a big game of cartoon misogyny TO SAM while treating the women he interacts with pretty fucking respectfully, actually.
Honestly, it's the same as the way Sam is supposedly the 'main character'. He's introduced as the one we should care about and identify with, but within, like, two episodes, he's really just a foil for Dean. Sam has BIG PLOTS, but it's Dean's feelings, reactions and relationships we really care about.
And, the fact is, Sam was pretty well-realized in the earlier eps. JarPad was giving it some effort, and he was charming then with his boyishness -- the way he seemed like he hadn't fully lived into his physical real estate -- but the thing is, he never could really hold a candle to Dean who was just magnetic. All the interesting character development was given to Dean and Jensen killed it by always making it seem like Dean had so much going on under the surface, and like, to the extent I care about Sam, it's because Dean loves him.
I kind of wonder what happened. Was Dean always meant to be the dark horse hero? Or was Dean just...played by a better, more compelling actor, and they started writing for him instead? There are so many much more interesting things they could have done with Sam, and they just...DIDN'T.
I dunno, I suppose it could just be me, but I feel like the way Sam just SEEMS, Dean IS.
maybe this is me being a dumb overly literal autist stemlord who simply does not understand literary theory or some shit equivalent but why should i care about someone being coded as [X] when i can just. care about someone who is [X]. why should i care more about the conventionally attractive white woman with a job and mortgage because she's metaphorically othered due to being a supernatural creature when i could care about the actually othered addicts that she used as a source of food. help me out here.
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Shen Qingqiu triple trouble!
So, System Possession AU of @artsarasp is going through, stuff let's say. Angsty stuff. So of course my mind was like.
Let's make shen triplets!
The situation is, Shen Jiu has his fatal Qi deviation, Shen Yuan dies by choking on food and all is normal. But, some error occurs, and both Shen Jiuâs and Shen Yuanâs souls are in danger of disintegrating from the Qi deviation. The System notices this and tries to fix it, forcing the soul to generate a body to occupy from basically thin air. But thereâs a problem, since thereâs two souls that are now generating a body, meanwhile the original body is still functional, though has been metaphorically dragged through the mud. Thus, both Shen Jiu and Shen Yuan materialize with new bodies while the System is absorbed into the spare body.
So now we have three Shen Qingqius. And the System is Not Happy.
Neither is Shen Jiu to be honest.
Shen Yuan somehow convinces both the System and Shen Jiu that they should pretend to just be brothers, make some bullshit about trapped consciousness to fool the peak lords, while he wacks his brain to try to avoid death or punishment from the enraged System. Which can still give both points and punishments. The problem is that since he got the short end of the stick in the body lottery, he has to be very careful of exerting the bodyâs limits, so he canât get agitated. And giving punishments is very agitating. Shen Yuan is basically trying to make the System care. If Wall-E can love, so can the System, wouldnât it be better for the story if he becomes an active member? It would also be better to leave the story to develop itself organically, think about all the character development! So the protagonist can have a more round support cast! If he read something like that, he wouldnât have criticized so much the papapa scenes since he could just focus on that! What do you think System-bro?
Meanwhile Shen Jiu is very conflicted, since these, what, fakers? Clones? Some type of demons? Are stealing his face and seem to have some ulterior motive, but both seem eager to âhelp himâ somehow. Granted, the blue eyed freak is creepy as fuck, a fake cherfulness that all his instincts scream to get away from, but heâs mostly⌠nice. The definition of the word, at least. The other fake is snarky, doesnât really back down from a verbal dispute, and, while infuriating, itâs more real. Safer, in a way, more honest. Besides, the blue eyed one is useful when trying to find synonyms while writing or finding the name of a song he couldnât remember well. They can stay, for now.
System is actually scared. They saved the scum villain character, but made a bigger problem while also becoming⌠vulnerable. How could they make sure the story functions if they have a weak and frail body? They are forced to play along, become a more direct support to the characters to make sure they stay in line. But [User02] seems to have other ideas, and while they must punish him, they really canât without suffering themselfs. The original scum villain for the most part follows the script, but he also seems perturbed by their presence, which is fine. All is fine, they should be able to fix it.
Somehow.
The three of them are mostly the same in appearance. The major difference that the peaklords catch on is the mark on the forehead (I donât remember what it is called). Shen Jiu has a lotus flower painted, Shen Yuan has a dot while the System has an empty circle, resembling a zero. Both Shen Jiu and the System have their clothes correctly, while Shen Yuan doesnât really know how any of his layers of clothes work, so he fastened the belt around everyone, even the outer robe. Finally, the System has their hair tight to their head, Shen Jiu has it a little loose to let it flow but staying neat and clean. Shen Yuan just, tries his best. Finally, the Systemâs face is kinda cartoonish, they make faces that shouldn't be possible, stretching his smile wide and making their eyes a little too big. Both Shens donât mention it much, they just say theyâre special.
I donât know what came to me to do this shit, but nowâs here, deal with it.
Spanish rambling when this idea just came barreling through my brain.
#system possession#svsss au#svsss#shen qingqiu#shen jiu#shen yuan#This was all made in like an hour#don't judge me
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Curious on your take on what Quinn would do if one of the kids was born during the season? I know itâs their job but I felt so bad for Conor having to leave almost immediately after. Especially being captain thatâs even bigger. But Quinn seems so family first that the thought of leaving his little one and his wife who can barely stand and get dressed without his help for almost everything is so heartbreaking for him.
Oh my god you're about to get me started, sweet nonny! Because whenever I write about dad!quinn my mind always wanders back to Conor and his wife when they had their baby boy. I can't even imagine what it must have been like for her to labour without him by her side because he had (he volunteered but still) to play a game and then for him to go on a 2 week roadie a couple of days after with a newborn baby back home would've been difficult for him to do.
I think Quinn would really struggle with the balance, especially in moments like those.
Funnily enough, Bug is actually born right at the very end of the regular season, which feels like a small stroke of luck in an otherwise hectic time. Itâs still not ideal âheâs juggling the final push before playoffs with everything that comes with becoming a dad for the first time â but itâs miles better than if sheâd arrived in the middle of the season or right at the start.
But if she had been... in a perfect world, where the team didnât rely on him as much as they do, heâd get a few days â maybe even a week â just to be fully present, to focus entirely on the birth, on you, on Buggy. It's not perfect but at least this way, thereâs a tiny bit of breathing room.
In a not so perfect world, he wouldâve been absolutely torn because heâs so family orientated and deeply committed to his team, and heâd feel this immense pull in both directions, like no matter what he chooses, heâd feel like he's letting someone down. Even if youâd told him a hundred times over that youâre fine, that you understand the reality of his job, and that youâre surrounded by support â heâd still grapple with it. The mere thought of not being there for the moment his baby comes into the world, or even just leaving you to labour without him by your side, would weigh on him in a way he wouldn't be able to shake.
Heâd never complain outright â Quinn isnât ungrateful in the slightest. He knows exactly how fortunate he is to be living his dream, doing something he loves every single day. On ice or at home. To be a captain, to be a husband, to be a father â those arenât just titles to him; theyâre everything heâs ever wanted, the kind of responsibilities heâs dreamed about for as long as he can remember. But with the people closest to him, the ones who really know him, heâd let a little bit slip â just enough to vent when it feels like the pressure might crack him open. Because trying to be all of those things at once? Itâs no small thing, and thereâs no guidebook on how to juggle them all, especially when his job doesnât come with the luxury of proper parental leave. Thereâs no real space carved out for new dads in his world, no way to hit pause on being captain so he can just be dad for a little while.
Even then, his venting would just be him quietly trying to work through his feelings because, yeah, heâd be frustrated â not with anyone in particular, but with the system, the situation, and the sacrifices it demands. It wouldn't be about wanting special treatment; itâs about the impossibility of trying to give everything to two worlds that donât always align. And even in those quiet admissions, thereâd be this unshakable understanding â he gets it. He really does. Itâs just⌠hard.
I wrote a little something a while ago about how he'd balance being a first time dad and being captain here but focussed on the nice stuff if you'd like to read <3
#when i first got into hockey i used to think it was wild that couples would plan their conception dates so they'd give birth in the summer#but now i'm older and wiser and i get it!!!!#capquinnchats#dad!quinn
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I AM NOT OKAY DEAR GOD IT'S BEEN HOURS AND I AM STILL WEEPING
his gentle face??? the soft, delicate, kind voice and his eyes visibly softening even more and the real, genuine little smile as he blesses his younger self with his sister's voice in the background.
hoyo why do you hurt us like this it's going to consume my thoughts for DAYS now
#gnawing at the bars of my enclosure rn#the animation is impeccable#brought me to tears instantly#his arc was so GOOD i was attached to him before but holy crap#honkai star rail#hsr#aventurine#hsr aventurine#aventurine hsr#i am so attached to characters who really just never got to grow up and act one way but really are very gentle and compassionate#and just never were allowed to show it#he's been through so much and is still actually able to be nice which really says a lot abt him#the only thing that might have made me cry more were the convo with acheron when he asks why humans even exist#and the scene where kakavasha aventurine and future aventurine were all standing together#actual peak fiction. will never recover.
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need to sleep but the Dread is consuming me
#i just feel like smth bad is going to happen tonight. but also i feel like this p often on random nights where nothing bad happens so.#it could be bc i had caffeine this morning and its still fucking with my. brain#or more likely its bc im back on the overnight call list for work starting tonight and continuing the rest of the time i have this job#being able to not be on it while i was on vacation was so nice like i could actually sleep#still couldnt sleep through the night but at least when i did wake up it didnt take me an hour to fall back to sleep#generally when i feel this much dread on a night i can get work calls its bc theres going to be a call sometime between 3 and 6am that nigh#hopefully there wont be but ik this dread and anxietys gonna fuck up my sleep regardless so whatever#i dont really want to move to nyc but if i get this job offer i think i just need to bc this job is fucking me up so bad#if it wasnt for this fucking on call thing itd be tolerable but i just can't handle the on call thing#the fear that ill get a call and not know how to solve the problem and have to call my boss or coworker to help is killing me#ik its stupid but i have really bad anxiety around waking ppl up and asking ppl for help and calling ppl so#perfect combination to make me Suffer ig#and i did try talking to my boss about it and told him it was the reason i was unhappy on the team#and he essentially said i just need to be better at my job so we get less calls and that being on call is essential and unavoidable#if i dont get the nyc job i might need to just quit anyway which i know is pathetic but i just cant handle this on top of the other things#like i cant have no friends and a useless therapist and meds that dont work and no sense of self and a million other things#and then on top of that a job that makes it so i cant even sleep which is the one thing ive always been okay at and not had problems with#i know its so silly and i know i need to be grateful this job pays me well and shut up#i just am so miserable and i need to be able to sleep like i need that one thing please#sorry for being ridiculous and insane i know its stupid to be this upset over this#sorry dkdkjd sorry about all this i genuinely cant believe anyone still follows me when i post this bullshit#hopefully its fairly easy to ignore and everyones just not expanding the tags so im just screaming into the void#cant tell if i really want no one to see this or if im putting it all here all the time so i can pretend someone is reading it and cares#idk im just so tired and so sad and so scared all the fucking time and i think i just dont want to always be alone in it idk#and i know my problems arent real or serious or bad but unfortunately im pathetic and spoiled and theyre destroying me anyway
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Red Hood climbs up onto a roof with the intention of watching some drug smugglers below, only to find Robin, crouched in the perfect hiding space Jason had noticed. The boy is eating fries from a curled down Batburgers bag and sipping a Riddler Shake.
Jason: What are you doing here, Boy Wonder?
Tim: Probably the same thing you are. Spying on criminals.
Jason: ...
Tim: Want some fries? They're Jokerized, just to warn you.
Jason: Why?
Tim: Kon-El got some to try the last time he sneaked into Gotham and it turns out they're really good.
Jason: No, why would you offer me fries?
Tim: I have enough to share and I can always buy more?
Jason: Why are you being nice to me?
Tim: I'm offering fries, not a kidney. Why wouldn't I?
Jason: Because of the knife to the throat or, you know, that time I beat you within an inch of your life?
Tim: ...
Jason: ...
Tim: What the fuck was your time as Robin like?
Jason: The fuck?
Tim: A mentally unstable individual violently attacked me because he was scared or mad at Batman. That's like a bi-monthly occurrence for me, minimum. At least you were really insane and want to get better now-
Jason: I never said I wanted to stop killing.
Tim: I said get better. You want to be in control of yourself instead of being all Lazarus crazy, right?
Jason: Yes. But that doesn't mean I won't kill.
Tim: That's still wanting to get better. You think half the rouges who rotate through Arkham are actually trying to get better by even that much?
Jason: No.
Tim: Me, either. So that makes you an improvement over the usual. Plus, you know, the trauma from being murdered and all.
Jason: That's not an excuse to attack a kid.
Tim: No, but it's an explanation, which, again, is better than the usual. And you're showing signs of genuine remorse. That's huge around here. How often do we get that?
Jason: Anyone ever tell you your standards are kinda fucked up?
Tim: They'd have to pay closer attention for that.
Jason: Fucking what?
Tim: Doesn't matter. It's not like you're going to talk to anyone and even if you did, who'd believe you?
Jason: ...
Tim: So, you want some fries?
Jason: Yeah, sure.
Jason: These are good.
Tim: Right?
Jason: Is this nori?
Tim: Uh-huh; with paprika, kosher salt, and msg. I think there might be something else in there, but I haven't been able to place it.
Jason: Potato starch.
Tim: Oh, that makes sense.
Jason: I am definitely Jokerizing my fries from now on.
Tim: Try them with the Riddler Shake, too. The mint really compliments them.
Jason: I'll do that.
Tim: Wait. Doesn't that guy work for Black Mask?
Jason: Yes, he does.
Tim: So...want to pull a World's Finest?
Jason: A what?
Tim: You know, a team-up?
Jason: You-? Fucking- You know what? Sure. Let's pull a World's Finest. *under his breath* Little freak.
#dc#comics#funny#ficlet#fanfiction#bat family#bat brothers#batpups#Jason Todd#Tim Drake#Tim Wayne#Red Hood#Robin
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The Silent Type*
Summary: âHarry, the quiet guy in the office, has silently admired you during your time working for the firm. Now that your work there is done, Harry finds that he canât let you go just yetâŚâ
Wc: 5k
Tropes: colleagues (ceorry/nerdrry)
Warnings: SMUT, overstimulation, daddy kink, switch sub/dom dynamics, oral, choking
A/N: SUP YâALL!!!! God I have just been waiting to be able to write again! I still have some exams coming up next week, but I spent all evening writing this one shot because I have been dying to get back into itđ This is my first time writing a more subrry tinted fic, so I hope you enjoy it!
General Masterlist
if you want to support me more than liking or sharing, you can consider buying me a coffee!
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Harry has never been one to talk much.
It is one of the reasons why he chose the career of software developing. Most of it, he could do on his own.
It wasn't so much that Harry hated people, he just preferred his own company. More people tend to complicate things, and Harry is a more logical guy.
That was until he met you.
About three months ago, the company for which Harry worked had started their expansion, and he was to lead the people transferred to that section of the firm. With the expansion also came new employees, and thatâs where you came in.
You had been temporarily hired by the company to weed out applicants, and assist the current HR manager to help with the job interviews.
Harry still remembers that first day when you walked into the office, all nervous and fidgety. He had spotted you through the glass walls of his office, and couldn't physically tear his eyes off of you.
It wasn't until your third day helping in the office, that you actually met Harry. You had no idea what to think of him. Well, besides the obvious, of course. He was ridiculously handsome, and from the way he was staring at you, you figured that maybe he was thinking something like that about you too.
But he didn't talk.
Your first time meeting consisted of nothing but a gruff 'nice to meet you' from Harry's side, and no input in the rest of the conversation whatsoever. It was only a couple days later, when you asked the HR manager about it, that you found out that's just how he was, that he didn't really talk to anyone. From that moment on, there had been a surge of motivation to let him make you the one exception.
Harry was just fascinated by you, and he had no idea why. You were a ball of energy, talking so fast you'd think someone had clicked on your 'sped up' button, and you were chaotic, all over the place. The amount of times he watched you bump into people was impossible to keep count of.
Then, one day, you bumped into him. It should have angered him, the spilt coffee on his pants. But he had an extra suit, and you looked so worried, he didn't want to make you feel worse. You still felt bad, though, so you decided to make it up to him, and started getting him coffee every morning.
By the end of the first week, he looked you in the eyes when he thanked you. By the end of the fourth, he'd ask you how you are and recall things you'd told him. By the end of sixth, he told you things about his life, and by the end of the tenth week, you were having longer conversations with him.
It was difficult to keep up the small talk with him in the beginning. You soon found out that his lone wolf attitude may had something to do with his awkwardness. You thought, perhaps people weren't willing to work through that, and eventually he just stopped trying.
Such a prospect made you sad, and it only motivated you more to get to know him better. Of course, the longing glances, and standing unnecessarily close to each other with his knuckles barely touching your arm, those things helped too.
There was an undeniable tension between the two of you that you found incredibly difficult to decipher. The way he'd let you catch him looking at you gave it away quite clearly, but the lack of any real initiative confused you.
Had you read it all wrong? Did he even think there was something there too?
Unfortunately, there was no way to find out, as your assignment at the company was coming to an end. Today had been your last day, and tonight is a launch party to officially celebrate the expansion of the company.
You were a little sad to leave the company, especially since you really liked the people working there. It is why you are most excited for tonight.
Wearing a long yellow dressâit is your favorite colorâyou stride into the building. You are mesmerized by all the balloons and how pretty everyone looks. Wearing expensive suits or classy dresses. You immediately realize you might be a bit too happily dressed; everyone is wearing darker colors.
It does make it easy for everyone to spot you, though. By the time you've gotten your drink, five people have already walked up to you. About half an hour into the party, the CEO of the company takes the stage to give a small speech.
"I would like to thank everyone who has participated in making this expansion go as smoothly as it did. Your work does not go unnoticed." He says through the microphone. Everyone claps for a few seconds, and the man waits to go on until it is quiet again.
"Now, I have a special announcement to make. I have wanted to make this expansion happen since I began working for this company in 1988. Now that I finally have, I feel that my job at this firm is done. And so, I have decided to retire from my position as CEO."
Your eyes widen at the speech; you had no idea this was even a thing. By the sound of the gasps and murmurs traveling through the room, you deduce that the news is unexpected for the rest of the company as well.
"It is also with great pride that I present the new CEO of our company, chosen after careful consideration. If mr. Harry Styles could please join me on stage."
Your mouth falls open at the mention of Harry's name, and you are certain you will never be able to close it again when you see him walking onto the stage. He wears a black suit, perfectly tailored to his body, and the sight of him has you concerned that you may be drooling.
The bald man hands the microphone to Harry, who does not look very pleased to be on stage; it almost seems like he is regretting his decisions. Until his eyes meet yours, that is when you see him let out a breath.
"Thank you, Mr. Johnson." He says, breaking eye contact to look at his former boss.
Right, that was his name, Johnson.
"I look forward to leading this company into more successes, and I promise that I will put my heart and soul into it. I have worked at this firm ever since I graduated college and they offered me a job during my internship, and it is safe to say that I have not regretted that decision a day of my life. I have always been loyal to this company, and I will remain loyal to you. Thank you."
You are perplexed. Why did he never tell you about this? You are very happy for him, but you do find it weird. It also makes you doubt again. Did whatever you had been building up the last months not mean as much to Harry as it did to you?
Well, it doesn't really matter, you're gone after tonight anyway.
Once the shock of the news has calmed down a bit, the party resumes as normal. Most people visit Harry one by one to congratulate him on the position, but you steer clear from him. It is no use, after tonight you will probably never see him again anyway.
Time passes, and you think you're ready to go home. There was a file in the office you forgot to sign earlier today, so you head up to do that first. The office is entirely dark when you walk out of the elevator. It's kind of eerie, so you are quick to turn on the lights.
It takes you a few minutes to find the file, since the receptionist placed it on someone else's desk. You find it on your colleague's desk, and walk over to the receptionist desk to sign it. Laying it on the keyboard of her computer, you pray that she won't displace it again, and make your way back to the elevators.
A loud shriek escapes you when Harry suddenly walks around the corner. He covers his ears at the high pitched sound, shocked by how much he scared you. With your hand on your chest you try and steady your breathing.
"Jesus, you scared the crap out of me."
"Sorry, didn't mean to." He says, a bit of worry in his tone. You look up at him.
"What are you even doing up here?"
"I was looking for you." He shrugs.
"Why?" Your eyebrows furrow, that same old tension in your stomach settling like it does every time Harry looks at you for longer than two seconds.
"You've been avoiding me." He answers casually, and you feel your heart drop. You didn't think he'd catch onto it.
"Congratulations by the way, for being the CEO. That was definitely a surprise." There is a bitterness in your tone. It is Harry's turn to frown. He hears the condescension, but his mind can't seem to come to a conclusion. Why are you angry? It's so hard to tell.
This is why he doesn't do people.
"You're mad that I am CEO?" He guesses, and your mouth falls open, much like it did when Harry's new position got announced.
"What?! Of course not! I'm very happy for you." You sputter out. The last thing you'd want him to think is that you don't want him to be happy or satisfied or successful.
"But you're still avoiding me." He repeats slowly. "You know, I didn't tell you about it because no one was supposed to know. I had to sign for it and everything. It's nothing personal."
The painful grip that his potential distrust in you had on your heart releases at the sound of his words. You could have known that it was due to something like that, you work in HR after all. That fact alone makes you realize how invested you unknowingly had become in Harry.
"I...I figured." You give him a weak smile. Harry's eyes search for yours, holding onto your gaze once he has found it. You stay like that, staring at each other for a while until you break the silence.
"I'm heading home. I don't think I'll see you again, so good luck. I'm sure you'll do wonderfully."
With much difficulty, you manage to look away from Harry and walk past him. At least, you try to, because halfway through, Harry's hand grabs your arm. You stop in your tracks, looking back at the man who stopped you. The man who has been sending you mixed signals for the past few months.
"Dâ do you want to join me in my office?"
You refrain from the shiver that threatens to run down your entire body, and nod. Harry's hand slides down your arm to your hand, and he intertwines his fingers with yours before he leads you to the glass doors that belong to him. On your way there, he flicks off the lights, leaving the two of you in the dark.
The city lights light up the otherwise pitch dark office that belongs to Harry, for now. He will be moved to the CEO's office when he starts his new position.
You don't say anything as Harry closes the door, or as he walks to the closet and pulls out a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. You wait in anticipation of what he's going to do.
But then he sits down. He just sits down on his chair.
You stand there, staring at him, utterly confused about this man and his intentions with you, while he obliviously pours the whiskey into the glasses. In that moment, there is a switch inside of you, one that says: fuck it. This is your last day, you need a way to release this pent up tension, and you probably won't see him ever again after this. What have you got to lose? Nothing.
You walk over to the desk and sit down on it, extremely close to Harry. The split of your dress shows your bare, freshly shaved leg, and he seems to notice. His eyes pull to your legs like magnets, and he has to force himself to look you in the eyes as he hands you the glass of whiskey.
You try your best not to smirk at the effectiveness of your plan, focusing on your next move instead. Straight for the kill.
"So, why am I here, Harry?" You ask nonchalantly, taking a sip of your whiskey. It tastes quite strong, and it takes you a lot of effort not to have an expressive reaction to it.
"What?" He asks, eyes wide like a deer in headlights.
"Why'd you take me here?" You ask again, setting down your glass at the table before moving to stand in front of him. "To admire the view?"
Harry looks out the window, but his head shoots back to you when he notices you're sinking onto your knees in front of him. He thinks he may have forgotten to breathe as he observes the lustful look in your eyes. His eyes travel down to your tits, even more visible from this angle.
"Because I've admired it every day for the past three months." You continue. Harry swallows, frozen by the overload of his brain and the sensitivity of the growing constraint in these pants. "Why don't you take your pants off for me? Just enough to give me your cock. I like you in this suit."
Harry doesn't let another second fly by before he is unbuckling his pants, sliding it down just enough for you to have access to his cock and his balls. Your mouth waters at the size and girth of it, your cunt getting wetter with every passing moment.
You shimmy forward, leaning over his cock and grabbing it with your hand. Harry sighs at the minimal contact, making you feel even more powerful. Looking up at him through your lashes, you ask him one more question.
"You'll hold my hair, won't you?"
With that, you take Harry in your mouth as far as you can, before pulling away from him. A gasp leaves his mouth, and his eyes fall shut as you pump him with your hand while your mouth kisses and sucks on the head of his cock. You begin licking and kissing down his cock, while your hand softly feels up his balls.
Harry feels like he is in heaven already, and he forgets everything around him. It is only when you completely remove yourself from him that he opens his eyes again, and he sees. Catching on quickly, he leans forward and gathers your hair, twisting it around his palm.
Satisfied with Harry's obedience, your mouth attaches itself to his cock again. You take him slowly, teasingly, and move your head up and down. With every movement, you take him an inch deeper.
"Oh, fâfuck!" He groans out when you gag on him because you took yourself too far too fast. You steady your breathing, which is a bit more complicated as you can only breathe out your nose. You resume sucking him off for a bit longer, bobbing your head down a bit faster. The small sounds that leaves Harry's lips, along with his scrunched up face, gives you enough indication that he is approaching his climax.
So you remove your mouth from his cock.
He lets out a whine at the loss of contact. If your panties weren't wet before, they certainly are now. You smile at the state of him; desperate and needy for you. The fact that you've managed to make him fall apart like this makes you incredibly horny.
"I want to take all of you in my mouth, daddy." You tell him, looking up at him with your big eyes. "You'll have to help me."
You went out on a bit of a limb when you decided to call him daddy, but he doesn't seem to mind at all. In fact, Harry's eyes light up and his jaw slacks at the mention of the pet name.
"Shitâ anything, sweetheart. Whatever you need." He croaks out.
"I need you to fuck my mouth." You respond sternly, not wasting any time and taking him between your lips again. You push yourself down his cock as far as you can, breathing deeply before moving your hand to Harry's hand, which is holding onto your hair, and pushing your head forward to indicate that he needs to push his cock down your throat.
Again, it doesn't take him long to listen, because Harry's hips thrust forward, his dick gliding into your throat. You moan at the force with which he pushed, and keep your mouth wide open as you let Harry navigate your head.
Once he fully understands that you are allowing him to let him use your mouth, the true fun begins. With the firm grip he has on your head, he pushes you up and down at an ungodly speed. Your jaw is already tiring from its locked position, but you power through it because the sounds that leave Harry's mouth make up for it.
"Fuck baby, such a good mouth. Never had anything like this... Jesus!" He pants out as he begins to thrust up into your mouth, and you feel like you might pass out. Suddenly, he pulls you away from his dick.
You frown, and realize as he is grabbing for a tissue that he is avoiding messing up your face. You don't stand for it, though, and wrap your lips around his cock again just in time for him to come inside your mouth. You take him deeper and feel the way his sperm shoots in the back of your throat.
"Fuck! Shit, shit..." The not so wide arrange of curse words are the only thing Harry is capable of saying as he dumps his load inside your mouth. The fact that you were so adamant about having his sperm in your mouth made his orgasm even more intense.
Your mouth lets go of his cock with an exaggerated plop, and you swallow every last bit of him, grinning at his fucked out face.
"That was... amazing." He sighs, his gaze flicking from your mouth to your eyes. You hum in agreement, and get up from the floor as he pulls up his pants. You are about to walk away, when Harry grabs your wrist.
"Where are you going?"
"Home." You answer with a smile, but Harry's grip on you only tightens. He shakes his head, his lips pouting.
"No, you need to stay. Let me make you feel good too." He protests. You squint your eyes at him.
"I don't need to do anything."
Harry's eyes widen. "You're right. But just let me make you feel good before you go, please? It's the least I can do."
Your mouth slowly forms into a grin, glad to have him where you want. Well, almost.
"Beg me."
Harry scoffs. "Are you serious? I don't really do begging."
You shrug, smiling at him. "That's fine. My vibrator can get me off too."
You take a few steps towards the door, while Harry contemplates his decisions. However, those were all clouded by the sole moment to please you the second you mentioned your vibrator. The image of you getting off like that is too much to bear. He needs to do it for you.
"Stop." He says. You turn around, and walk back to him as he gets out of his chair and gets on his knees. Grabbing your waist, he pulls you closer, his nose digging into your dress. His hands run up and down your legs, and it is making you weak in your knees.
"Please, let me eat you out baby. I'll do anything to make you feel good. I need to taste you so bad, please let me pleasure you."
You swallow, eyelids ready heavy, as you sigh out. "Alright."
Harry grins at your admittance of defeat, and stands up. He leads you to sit on his desk, your dress hiked up. He removes the stuff behind you, so that you can lean back entirely in case you want to, and waltzes over to his chair.
Spreading your legs, he rolls himself closer to you, and assesses your soaking wet panties. Chuckling, he leans to the side and grabs a pair of scissors, before he cuts the skimpy material from your body. You'd say something of it, but the sight of him admiring your pussy like this is too fascinating to interrupt. So, you keep quiet.
When Harry's thumb suddenly presses on your clit and begins to rub it, you can't help but gasp. His touch feels too good, and that blowjob got you really worked up.
"You have no idea how many times I've fantasized about this." Harry says, marveling at how reactive you are being.
"Me too."
His eyebrows rise up. "Yeah? Tell me more, baby."
You bite your lip, too obsessed with the pet name he's given you. It sounds so sexy coming from his mouth. He awaits your response with bright eyes, lazily rubbing your clit.
"Your arms... I'd think about them so much. And your hands, I'd imagine you choking me with them. They're so big..." You begin, and you know that you could go on for hours if you had to tell him about everything you've thought about doing with him, or doing to him.
Harry doesn't say anything, instead responds with two fingers entering your pussy. You moan at the feeling of his large fingers pumping in and out of you. It feels way fuller than your hand already. His two fingers is the equivalent of your three fingers.
"We can definitely make those fantasies come true..." Harry says softly. "But first, let's make you come, hmm?"
You nod, your head falling back and allowing yourself to fully indulge in the pleasure Harry's giving you right now. You let yourself lay on his desk, wrapping your legs around his shoulders.
"Fuck, that feels goodâ oh fuck!" You shriek out when Harry tongue begins attacking your tongue after he adds a third finger. He speeds up the movements of his hand to match those of his tongue, and holds onto that tempo until your mind can't conjure up any more words to speak to him.
With the control entirely out of your hands, you let Harry guide you to your orgasm, which washes over your body like a tidal wave. You unconsciously push Harry's head further into your pussy with your legs. With an arched back, you moan at the sensitivity of your clit.
Harry lets you take a minute to catch your breath before he pulls on your arms to have you sit up straight. He is smiling sweetly at you, and your heart warms at it.
"You okay?" He asks, kissing your hands. You nod, trying to ignore the flutters in your heart at the way he is being so gentle.
"Thank you for letting me make you feel good, baby." He says, getting up and leaning into your face. His nose brushes against your cheek as he plants his lips on yours. Your arms wrap around Harry's neck as you kiss him deeper, too caught up in how good he feels and how much you want him.
You're never this greedy. You've never felt like you needed a man's cock inside of you. Like it was the only feasible option. You feel it driving you crazy, and you're sure it is the only reason you sayâ no, ask:
"Please, fuck me."
The grin that forms on Harry's lips makes you feel like you should regret what you said. A grin like that usually belongs on your face in situations like these. But you need him so bad, you don't really care that you are the desperate one this time.
"Oh, you're begging now too, huh?" He says cockily. You glare at him, pissed that he's acknowledging your neediness and mocking you for it too.
"It's alright baby, I'll give it to you. 'M cock's already hard again from watching you come like that. So fucking sexy..." He says. He pulls his pants down and lifts you off the table, turning you around to the glass windows and pushing your hands against them. "Bend over a bit and speak your legs for me, baby."
You do as he says, biting your lip at Harry's hand that pushes away your dress and roams over your ass. He positions his cock at your entrance and pushes himself into you, sighing in pure relief. You shut your eyes tightly at the size of him filling you up.
"Fuck, you feel good baby." He says, slowly beginning to move in and out a bit. You let out a soft 'yes', causing Harry's jaw to clench. He spanks your ass, watching as it bounces from the impact, and his cock twitching at your yelp.
"Perfect fucking ass... perfect fucking girl, aren't you?" He groans, now lazily thrusting into you. He wants to give you time to adjust, but he learns your wishes when you begin to push yourself back into him.
"Ah, I see. Greedy girl wants to speed things up, hmm? Your wish is my command." He mocks, but does speed up his pace. His hands hold your waist as he begins to pound himself into you, your ass shaking at the impact. He spanks your ass again for good measure, obsessed with the way it moves.
You nearly lose yourself in how good it feels, but you know that he can get deeper than this.
"I want to ride you... want to feel you in my tummy." You spit out, hoping he understands what you're saying in your croaky voice.
Harry listens, pulling himself out of you immediately and taking a seat in the chair. You turn around and walk over to him, throwing your legs on both sides of his lap, before grabbing his cock and sinking yourself down on it.
It goes smoother this time, but Harry's really deep now, just like you wanted. The sensation is everything to you, and it isnât hard to tell how good it feels for him too. Glad to have a bit of the control back, you start to bounce on his cock.
Harryâs eyes travel over your body, fascinated by the way you are moving above him. His hands travel to the straps of your dress and push them down until he can get your tits out of the top part of your dress. He begins to massage them as you keep impaling yourself on his dick over and over again.
"Fuck, daddy, you feel so good... so good for me. Listening to me. Knew this was the best way to fuck you... you love it." You slur happily. Harry nods profusely at your words, jaw clenched and moaning out in pleasure.
"Yes, needed it so bad baby. You're fucking daddy so good..."
You smile at how caught up Harry looks in his pleasure, like he doesn't know what to do with it. You, however, do know what to with it. You grab one of his hands and wrap it around your throat, before you do the same to him. With his hand on your neck and yours on his, you begin to fuck him as fast as you can.
"Ah, fffuck... shit! Holy shit!" He yells out, and automatically thrusts himself up into you, reaching an even further level of deepness you had never thought possible. That along with your hands on each otherâs necks, is enough to know that your climaxes are near.
"Come inside me daddy." You pant out, and he does. It is as if your permission set him off. You smile in delight at the feel and knowledge of his cum being so deep inside of you.
You fuck Harry through his orgasm, and even after. He squirms in his seat. "Waitâ too sensitive."
"I don't care, I haven't come yet. Don't you want to make me feel good? Have me coming around your thick cock?" You say sensually, and Harry nods. "Words."
"Yesâ fuck! I want you to come, please come around my cock. Please, please..." He begins to beg, a tear rolling down his cheek.
Your toes curl at his whiny voice, and soon your juices are gushing all over his cock. Your pussy contracting around him seems to set Harry off even more, as you feel even more sperm spraying out of his dick and into your walls.
You ride out your high until you can't move anymore. You sit there, forehead pressed against Harry's as you both come down from what just happened.
After a minute or two, you decide to pull out. Slowly but surely, you manage to get Harry's dick out of you without hissing too much at the sensitivity of every single body part down there.
You lean against the desk, too wobbly to stand on your own, and you let Harry wipe you clean with the tissues on his desk. After cleaning himself up, he stands up and positions himself in front of you.
"Hey." He says. Your hand cups his jaw and your thumb wipes away the tear that is far down his face now.
"Hi." You tilt your head. The both of you burst out laughing, still surprised by what went down just now.
"That was really good." He says once the laughter has died down. You nod in agreement.
"Good enough for a repeat?"
Harry pretends to think it over, before he responds: "under one condition."
"And what would that be?" You quirk up an eyebrow, intrigued by his vagueness. He smiles at you so wide that you wonder if his mouth might be hurting.
"You let me take you out on a date first."
You roll your eyes, pretending not to be amused as he chuckles at your reaction. But the second you see the look on his face and the sincerity behind it, you realize that he is being quite serious about this request. You bite your lip, wanting to kiss him right then and there.
"I would love that."
#harry styles#fanfic#writing#fanfiction#blurb#harry#one direction#smut#one shot#excerpt#harry styles imagine#harry styles one shot#harryedwardstyles#harry styles fluff#harry fanfic#harry styles fan fic#harry styles fic#harry edward styles#harry styles smut#harry styles x fem!reader#harry styles blurb#harry styles x reader#harry styles smut one shot
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Happy July 4th, everyone, and good luck to the UK voters out there!
Wow it's Year 11 of doing these!! Here's the AO3 link to the past 10 years, and here's the tumblr link.
Reminder that this is a long game -- some of the judges making decisions were appointed back in the 80s. Many of the cases that were decided this round were from Trump's term. So it's going to take long-term, consistent voting over a decade to start tipping things in the other direction. (Which I talked about in 2018 re: Trump shenanigans and 2022 re: Dobbs).
A lot has been done by the Biden administration (I'm assuming most folks have seen this post by boreal-sea with their very helpful sources), and much of that will be overturned by Trump, especially if he gets the Senate, and especially now that he would have a blank check for anything "official". So let's make sure that doesn't happen.
And even if Trump does get elected, your decisions down-ballot might effect control of the House or Senate, or might make it easier to vote next time, plus the whole plethora of state and local issues. It's Republican state attorney generals who are challenging climate regulations, for example.
Plus, when you really get down to it, only one of the candidates plans on pardoning himself and all his friends if he wins, and attacking the government if he loses. Maybe that guy shouldn't be the President.
If you're new to voting, remember to check voter registration deadlines! I'm a permanent vote-by-mail voter and it's so nice. :)
Transcript under the readmore
Page 1: Sam and Bucky meet up with Steve for a picnic. Steve: Thought you guys were still in Sudan? Bucky: Iâm forcing Sam to take a break.
Sam collapses onto the picnic blanket. Sam: Oof, it just never stops, does it? Steve: Nope.
Bucky hands Sam an orange popsicle. Bucky: Eat and relax for a bit, Sam. Sam: Thanks.
Page 2: Bucky asks Steve: How are things state-side? Steve responds: HORRIBLE. Bucky: I thought youâve been tentatively hopeful about what Biden has been able to achieve? Steve: I was! Student loans, child care, climate regulations, infrastructure, labor, trans rights ⌠heâs quietly done a lot through regulatory improvements and congress bills. But now all people will talk about is how heâs OLD. And then thereâs the Supreme Courtâs decisions ⌠Chevron and immunity⌠Steve puts his head in his hands, while Sam and Bucky look on with some concern.
Page 3: Bucky hands Steve a blue/raspberry popsicle: Steve, take a deep breath, and a popsicle. Sam: Sounds like we missed a lot. Whatâs going on? How bad is it? Steve: Pretty bad. The Supreme Court has made some decisions that give the Court and the President A LOT of discretionary power. Sam: Yikes, that doesnât sound good. Steve: Well, the Chevron thing means that judges with life-term appointments can override policies made by government agencies. And now itâll be harder to hold a President accountable because he will have immunity for any âofficialâ actions.
Page 4: Sam: So if the President tries to, say, overturn a democratic election result, heâll be allowed to as long as itâs in his job description? Steve: I donât think threatening state electors is âofficialâ business, but that will be decided by federal judges. Who get their jobs by approval from both the President and the Senate. Bucky: Yeesh. No wonder youâre stressed. Any good news? Steve: Well, thanks the Biden and the razor-thin Senate majority, the newer bills donât rely on the Chevron deference. Still not great but not catastrophic. Sam, squirting ketchup on his hot dog: So what Iâm hearing is that itâs now more important than ever to have a President and a Senate who you can trust to appoint fair judges, pass bills, and not commit crimes.
Page 5: Steve: Plus all of the state level offices, now that more and more deciding power has been thrown back to the states â abortion, LGBTQ rights, voting access⌠Bucky: Hey, at least this is a big election year so we can actually do something! Steve, with his arms crossed, looking surly: Except that all people want to talk about is how Biden is âtoo oldâ and ânot doing enough,â as if that is on par with Trumpâs desire to dismantle basic rights! As if the candidate who doesnât embody ALL their ideals is not worth voting for! Bucky interrupts with a smart and a loud âPFFT.â
Page 6: Bucky: Um, Steve. YOU were like that in 1940. Sam, nudging Bucky: âOh, this I gotta hear. Spill, Barnes.â In sepia, Steve is pacing around their apartment while Bucky is sitting and reading a newspaper. Steve: I canât believe heâs running for a 3rd term! we need a fresh candidate to vote for! This is hardly a choice at all! AND he refuses to engage in Europe! All of Europe under fascist control and weâre just twiddling our thumbs? Heâs letting millions die through his inaction! Bucky: Most people donât want another war, Steve. If he came out for it, he would lose. Steve, indignant: But Buck, itâs your Polish relative who are in danger! Bucky, closing his newspaper and looking at Steve: Yeah, and between FDR and Willkes, I trust FDR to help if he could.
Page 7: Steve, in sepia, looking away: Should he be encouraged to do more? Maybe I should vote for Browder. The Communists have historically be Anti-Fascist.
Sam interrupts off-screen: Waitaminute! STEVE was going to PROTEST-VOTE? Steve: We were in a Blue State, Sam! Sam: But what about the down ballot races?! Steve: RELAX, I did my due diligence down-ballot. I wanted a senate thatâs more progressive than the President.Voted LaGuardia for Mayor, too. Steve hesitates: Then, when I got to the President⌠I realized that the Best case scenario would be that my vote did nothing, versus if it actually spoiled the election. And when I asked myself who I could trust to work with my Senator⌠well, FDR had a good record with Labor. (sepia shot of young Steve voting) Bucky interrupts: Hold on, Steve.
Page 8: Bucky, eating a cookie, arching an eyebrow: You didnât vote for Browder? Why didnât you tell me? Steve: And have you say âI told you soâ for the next century? Bucky: Heh.
Steve, with hand on his chin: Whatâs weird was that, despite everything, I still felt HORRIBLE when I ticked that box. Sam: Sounds like you built up the meaning of that vote far too much in your head. Logically, we know that a single box canât represent all of the complexity of a whole system, but the desperately WANT it to. Just look at how people have built up so much around the term âZionisâ that itâs made productive conversations difficult.
Page 9: Sam and Steve speak in the background while Bucky reaches into the cooler and pulls out a box. Steve: Sigh. And thatâs something that goes beyond the election. Sam: Which is why we need to vote, AND do other things. Bucky, looking at Steve and Sam: Like how Steve works to push organizations on the local level? Or like all the work you do as Captain America? Sam: Exactly. Vote AND.
Sam looks at Bucky fondly: Like how you vote AND make me and Steve take breaks. Bucky, looking stern because he canât handle compliments: Shush, Sam.
Bucky holds up a cake that has the number â107â on it: Itâs time for cake. Happy Birthday, Steve.
#happy birthday steve#supreme court#election#steve rogers#bucky barnes#sam wilson#11th year holy fuck#mine#my comic#oh hey i'm traveling for the next month so i might be not very responsive#longpost is long but I think everyone has the longpost shrinker by default now?
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Best I Ever Had
Jackson!Joel Miller x afab!reader | w/c: 2.3k
Summary: Someone tries to hit on you on your night out with Joel, insulting your man in the process, and oh you don't like that. You blow off some steam in more ways than one.
Content/Warnings: Reader is able-bodied, no physical descriptions. Feminine perception of reader and feminine pet names (Joel calls you mama and babygirl), but no pronouns used. Reader's a fucking badass and can hold their own fights (probably Joel's too, tbh). Slight description of reader getting physical/violent with another person (bby has some anger issues). Established relationship. Implied age gap (exact number unspecified). A bit of insecure Joel. 18+ MDNI! Dom!reader !! Sub!Joel !!!! P in V unprotected. Slight breeding kink (reader just likes being filled, no children talk). Joel has a fast refractory period (don't think too much on it, just enjoy). Definitely some overstimulation. Cockwarming. Riding..straddling.. Teasing. Begging. Edging. Sloppy making out. Multiple orgasms. Please let me know if thereâs anything I missed that should be up here!
A/N: Some get post-nut clarity, but I get post-nut lust. This was the product of that. Hope you enjoy, my angels. Thank you @honeyedmiller for betaâing 𩶠also I picture both game Joel or hbo Joel, so itâs entirely up to you what you wanna visualize ;)
masterlist | notifs blog
It was a busy night at the Tipsy Bison. Everyone was out. Everyone was mingling, getting to know each other. As if it wasnât a small town already, but hey, it wouldnât hurt to make sure you really knew the people living in this little forever-town.Â
Except, Joel was not one to mingleâespecially on nights like tonight. Tommy insisted that he come, itâll be nice, he tried to reason.Â
He eventually agreed. Not because of Tommy, though, but because of you.Â
You knew Joel was a certified grump, through and through. And you love Joel, you really do. But the post-apocalyptic world caused you to react differently than your man. Yeah, youâve become tougher, harder to break, harder to trust. However, you crave any sense of normalcy you can find. So on occasion, you like to go out and get to know the people of the town. You like human interaction.Â
And when they say opposites attract, the saying couldnât have been more true. Joel was absolutely smitten the day he met you. Itâs been a long time coming between you twoâwith his vulnerability, or lack thereof, and his initial unwillingness to accept that he can finally relax and unclench his jawâbut youâre together now, stronger than ever, and everything is worth it.Â
You are worth it.Â
Which is exactly why all you needed was to give one raise of your brow during his protesting before Joel promptly shuts his lips and takes a defeated breath, fixing his answer to Tommy. âOh, hell. Alright, brother, weâll be there.âÂ
And to be quite honest, Joel would go as far to say that tonightâs little get together was actually decent for once. That is, until he sees you waiting on the bartender for his beer and your old-fashioned, and a manâa boyâapproaches you.Â
âHey,â you heard a voice beside you say. Not realizing it was meant for you, your attention stays on the bartender. Still, the voice persists. âI was thinking, uh-â you look at the guy then, eyes staring him down in a way he perceives as a challenge.Â
He clears his throat. âI was thinking I could buy you a drink?âÂ
âNo, Iâm good,â you say shortly. The bartender comes up to you, pulling you away from the guyâs feeble attempt at flirting. You tell the bartender your order, and before you can take another moment to speak, the guy pipes up.Â
âPut it on my tab,â he smirks triumphantly, taking a closer step to you.Â
You pull yourself away on instinctâ out of disgust, but your eyes stay trained on his gaze. Youâre pissed, but this naĂŻve little boy has no idea. Both of what you're capable of and what the older man, your older man, across the bar is capable of.Â
âThanks,â you smile, âmy boyfriendâs gonna appreciate the free drink,â you tell the guy, turning to Joel and giving him a sweet smile. Youâve been feeling his stare the second this waste of space walked up to you.
Joel would pounce if you told him to. He knows you can handle yourself, though, and you confirm it through that pretty smile you flash him. He canât deny the way his cock twitches at the way this scene is unfolding. Part of him is begging for the guy to try something more, to test youâto unleash you.Â
The guy scoffs the second he sees Joel. âThat old man is your boyfriend? Come on, baby,â his hand reaches for the crook of your elbow. âYou can do so much better than that,â he taunts.Â
And that was the something more you needed. Immediately your hand takes hold of his wrist, twisting the man to face the bar in a rough fashion as you lean him over the bar counter, his arm twisted behind his back, shoulder ready to snap out of his socket with the tiniest of movements.Â
âWanna say that again?â You seethe, knocking the breath from his lungs as you push him into the wooden counter.Â
âI saidââÂ
Heâs cut off by his own high-pitched scream. You push his arm higher, a sharp pain shooting through every nerve center in the guyâs arm.Â
âSweetheart,â a southern twang says softly, but itâs not your man. Tommy. âI know he probably deserves it, darlinâ, but itâs not worth it,â he says, not wanting to aggravate you more. Everyone knows not to test you.Â
Well, apparently not everyone.Â
You roll your eyes, knowing Tommyâs just trying to keep up the liveliness of tonight. âFine,â you mutter. Leaning closer into the guy, you whisper into his ear. âTalk about my fuckinâ man like that again, and Iâll snap your shoulder so fuckinâ hard, Jacksonâs doctors wonât even know what to do with ya. Ya hear me?â Youâre not from the South, and before the outbreak, youâve never even been. But get angry enough, and Joelâs twang possesses you.
You release the crying boy with a shove, and you back up, wanting to pull yourself away from the situation. Your back is met with something hard, and immediately you know who it is. You soften in his touch as his arms immediately wrap around your waist. âYou alright, babygirl?â Joel rasps in your ear. You can feel his fucking hard-on pressed against your back.Â
The guy looks at you and Joel, chest still heaving as his face turns into disgust, a fuck you muttered under his breath, an aftertaste of jealousy on his lips.Â
Smiling wildly at the guy in front of you, you snake your hand up to wrap around Joelâs jaw before you turn your head back and tilt your head up, pulling Joel into an open-mouthed kiss, your tongue pushing into his mouth as he eagerly sucks it, lapping up your spit. He groans into you, his arms pulling you impossibly tighter into him.Â
You pull away with a harsh nip to his lip, feeding off the little whimper Joel lets out. âBaby,â he whines.Â
You look back to the guy, and the silent audience youâve accumulated. âCome on, cowboy,â you breathe. âIâm not done with you.â
âYes, maâam,â he replies happily, spinning you two around and walking out with you still pressed against him.Â
The bar stays quiet after a beat. Tommyâs hand slaps the bar counter before he speaks. âWell. Get the music goinâ unless yâall wanna hear âem goinâ at it all night!â The bar roars in laughter, the music coming back to life.Â
Before returning back to Maria, Tommy turns to the guy. âYou. Out.âÂ
He scrambles without looking back.
âOh my God, baby.â
âFuckâ I- I canât, baby, I canât hold it much longer, baby, I need to come.â
âJust one more second, baby.â
âMama, please,â he cries out, his head lolling from side to side on his sweat-soaked pillow as you grind your hips into his pelvis, lifting yourself on and off him every other moment. His hands hold onto your hips, not in a way to control your movement but to simply feel you.Â
âOh, come on, be a good boy for me, baby,â you moan, your hand fixing itself onto his jaw to make him look at you. âJust wanna feel you twitch inside me a little bit more âfore you make a mess inside me, okay?â
âOh, fuckâ yes, yes, mama, yes, okay,â he rambles, trying his hardest to breathe through the pleasurable pain as you take and take and take.Â
A particular grind sends your back arching, his pubes soaked in your arousal nudging perfectly against your clit, sending an electric pulse up your spine. You cry out in ecstasy, your climax hitting you instantly. âOh fuck, oh shit- fuckfuckfuck, baby, come with meâ come inside me, baby, fucking fill me,â you nearly scream, hoping that boy can hear you now.Â
âShit, baby, oh my God- fuck- Iâm coming, mama, holy fuck- I-â he stutters, his thigh muscles shaking underneath you as you bounce on him through his climax, the mix of his spend with yours bouncing lewdly across the walls of your shared bedroom.Â
Your hips come to a slow but never stop, your chest heaving as you lean down to bring your lips to Joel. You let them ghost across his lips, but you donât let them touch. He knows better not to chase it, not yet, anyway. He can still feel you fuming.Â
You can do so much better than that.
âCan you fucking believe him?â You whisper against his lips, barely audible yet fucking scary nonetheless.Â
Joel thinks that boy is right, deep down. Even though heâd never want you to leave him, and youâd never want him to leave you. Joel thinks that thereâs a crumb of moral rightness in that statement. But he keeps that to himself.Â
Nevertheless, you know Joel like the back of your hand. He doesnât need to utter a lick of anything to you. You already know what heâs thinking.Â
âJoel,â you say again. âI asked you a question.â
All questions must be answered.Â
Fuck.Â
âY-yeah, baby,â he rumbles, too distracted by the comments from the bar, but mainly still caught up in the way his softening come-covered cock is still nestled inside of you.Â
You sit up now. A whine leaves his throat at the movement. âSo you do believe him?âÂ
Only then does he realize what he said. His eyes shoot up to yours. âW-wait, no, baby, âm sorry, no. No, I donât believe him, baby,â he panics.Â
You quirk your eyebrow at him.Â
âThe fuckinâ audacity on âem,â he adds for good measure.Â
Youâre silent for a beat. Thenâ
âYouâre lying.â
Joelâs heart starts to race. âNo, baby. Please. Mama, Iâm not lyinâ,â he tries.Â
Still straddling his hips, you grab onto his bicep, pulling upward. He gets the hint and sits up. Heâs still inside you, his cock slowly growing to full mast again the longer you sit here.Â
Youâre face to face now. His arms are loosely wrapped around your waist, your arms tightly around his neck.
âLook me in my eye,â you whisper, âand tell me youâre the best I ever had.â
Joel audibly gulps.Â
Slowâ so slow, your hips begin to move again. A breathy little moan escapes your mouth, and he lunges forward for you, his tongue dancing along the tip of yours, swallowing your breath. You allow it.Â
âTell me,â you groan into his mouth, practically swallowing his tongue as you shallowly bounce yourself on him.Â
âBaby,â he whines, getting lost in this dance of heat and sweat heâs become utterly addicted to.Â
You break yourself away from his mouth, not allowing him the option to reach for you anymore. He pulls back, eyes wild and sad. His mouth turned down into a literal pout.Â
âMy poor baby,â you mutter. âTell me what I wanna hear,â you say again. âOr youâre not getting my lips nor are you coming for the rest of the night,â you tell him, switching back into your grinding motion to stimulate your sensitive bud, letting him feel the way your pussy flutters around him.Â
âBaby,â he begs again as you grind, your warmth forcing him to another climax. Please donât make me say it, heâs trying to convince you.Â
Your fingers find their home at the base of his salt and pepper curls, tugging them in warning. âTell. Me.â
You force his body down to lay flat on the bed again, towering over him, allowing your body the space to lift yourself off of him, only his tip inside of you. He takes a sharp breath in, knowing whatâs coming.Â
You drop yourself down on him, fucking yourself on his cock at a bruising pace. You grab his hands and drag them up to your chest, wrapping his thick digits around you encouraging him to squeeze.Â
âFuck- mama, Iâm gonnaââ
âNo the fuck youâre not, baby,â you moan, lost in the pleasure but still rightfully in charge. âSwear to God, Joel, gonna leave you fucking swollen and pulsing for a fucking weekâ oh fuck,â you cut yourself off, a familiar sensation building at the base of your spine, sending you convulsing around his length yet again.Â
Joelâs eyes clamp shut, finally giving into your request so he can finally let go. âIâ shit, Iâm theââ a rugged moan forces itself out, ââthe best you ever had, mama, please, the fuckinâ best, baby,â he cries out, his hips bucking up into you as he covers every inch of you with his spend.Â
âShit,â you moan, his words affecting you a lot more than you anticipated, your hips doing overtime, unable to find it within you to stop even as he begins to soften. âYes, fuck, thatâs my boy, shitââ you breathe, ââthe fucking best, always make me feel so fucking good, baby.â
His hands finally use their strength, trying his best to slow you with ease, his nerves reaching the point of painful overstimulation. âAlright, baby, alright,â he winces.Â
Recognizing his limits, you immediately begin to slow, lowering yourself onto his heaving chest. You let him slip out of you this time, giving him an actual break. âIâm sorry,â you whisper into his chest.Â
âFor what, baby?â Joel responds with a kiss into your head.
âDid I go too far?â
He couldnât help the belly laugh that shakes the both of you. You immediately sit back up, your hands on his chest to keep your limp body up. âWhat?â you glare at him.
âToo far? Which part, darlinâ? Nearly breakinâ that guyâs shoulder or my dick?â
A belly laugh erupts out of you this time. Taking a moment to compose yourself, you respond. â...Both.â
âMmmâŚâ Joel puts on a fake thinking face. âMaybe to the former, but not at all to the latter,â he hums, his hands finding the back of your head to pull you in for a chaste kiss.Â
You hum into his lips, a smile stretching across your cheeks.Â
Resting your head on his chest, you let a few moments pass before you speak again. âTommyâs not gonna invite us to another one of those, huh?âÂ
âProbably not, mama,â he smiles. âProbably not.â
Iâd love to hear what you think!! Any feedback or interactions with you all truly brightens my day. So so so much love for you all. Thank you for being here đŠś
I cannot get myself to write for Joel or for TLOU without mentioning the horrors occurring in Palestine. Please check out the links in my navigation + bio to learn about the situation in Palestine and also learn about some ways in which you can helpđľđ¸. Reading and interacting with those links takes 5 minutes of your time at the bare minimum.
graphics by @saradika-graphics (middle divider in fic by me)
#endless thoughts fics#pedro pascal#pedrohub#pedro pascal character fanfic#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal smut#smut#pedrostories#one shot#fic#smut fic#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller fic#joel miller smut#joel miller fanfiction#joel x reader#joel miller fluff#joel miller one shot#joel miller x female reader#tlou fanfiction#tlou fic#tlou smut
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I want to talk about a kind of troubling reaction I've been seeing to both Apology Tour and Ghostfuckers among parts of the fandom. The person is usually a reaction youtuber but sometimes someone writing on tumblr or twitter. They say something along the lines of "oh, I'm glad Blitz is being forced to confront his crimes/traumas/pain. This is the only way he will finally heal."
That's not how healing works.
I know that reaction youtubers don't always have the most developed takes because they're . . . you know . . . reacting in the moment. But I think it's still worth talking about.
I'm going set aside the people who seem to believe that Blitz needs to be punished for his crimes, and address those who genuinely think that getting a tidal wave of his own trauma in his face is what he needs to heal.
There's an attitude in contemporary culture that traumas are something people need to confront. As in, put on a brave face and dive in like a big boy. I blame capitalism, rugged individualism, and all the pieces of media that tie up a character's arc neatly by having them confront their darkest fears and insecurities. It can put a nice bow on things, but it isn't really how healing from trauma works.
Apology Tour:
Blitz gets confronted by a shit ton of people who hate him, at least some of whom are his exes, who he feels he's personally damaged. The decor and party games are all about killing and torturing him. Verosika confronts him about how much he hurt her. Oh, and then he sees the love of his life, who he's just recently pushed away, making out with another guy- proof, in his eyes, that Stolas is happier without him. And this all reflects the underlying fears he already has about who he is as a person (shown to us by Truth Seekers).
So what was the takeaway? Blitz came to the conclusion that he doesn't always want to be like this (good, but like . . . worth this much pain?). He flops on his steering wheel (relatable). He stops trying to reach out to Stolas (uh oh . . . ). He spends A MONTH spiraling in his own misery and making a mess of all aspects of his life until he's dragged out of it by a caring friend.
The party doesn't empower Blitz to change. It knocks him down and fucking traumatizes him (seriously, images of Stolas from the party show up later in his trauma reel) too much for him to be able to do actually work toward said change. I suspect that if left to his own devices, he would have kept spiraling for quite a while longer. It's one thing to want to change, and another to try to do so alone in the aftermath of a pile-on.
Ghostfuckers
After Blitz drags himself out of his hole of cheesy ice cream and despair to "play sex ghosts" (escapism, again, still knocked down by Apology Tour), infester demon Rolando picks him out as an easy target and assaults him, yes, assaults, with horrific images of his worst traumas and fears.
Not to state the obvious, but Rolando isn't interested in helping Blitz heal. He's trying to kill the guy. He wants to engulf Blitz in his trauma to the extent where he's consumed by it and loses the will to fight back. And as some excellent posts by others have pointed out already, he very likely would have succumbed if not for Millie's support.
Millie helps Blitz get through the onslaught by telling him about what makes him great and how he's improved her life and showing him love and care. And by literally beating the fucking infester out of him. Because there's someone in him who's hurting him, who's re-traumatizing him against his will. She takes him away from the reel of horrible memories.
So . . . do I think that confronting traumas can play a role in healing? Sure. But only if it's consensually (which neither of these situations are) and when the person trying to heal is ready. And most likely in small doses. No one's going and successfully confronting every horrible thing that's ever happened to them in one go.
And in my humble opinion, it's not going to work (for anyone, but especially not for Blitz) alone and without a healthy dose of kindness and compassion (both external and internal).
Blitz has a long road ahead of him toward healing, and it's going to be hard work on his part but also require love and support from the people in his life.
In a wonderful moment near the end of Ghosfuckers, Blitz and Millie work together to get Blitz's wrecked van unstuck and push it back through the portal into Hell. I love it because it's so simple and it kind of tells us everything we need to know. This sweet and salty gremlin has a lot of work ahead of him, but he doesn't have to do it alone.
#ghostfuckers#apology tour#blitz#blitzo#blitzo buckzo#millie#rolando#stolitz#verosika#my helluva meta#helluva boss
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Here's a comic depicting a snippet of a story Idea I have. >w<
(Link to Reference Art I made of Danny) Danny comes across Clockwork's lair, see's some visions of a past he wasn't quite sure of whose, before being dropped down a hole where CW cryptically fills him in as to why he had summon him. Thus dropping Danny into this new world with only knowing he has to save a guy name Dante- and defeat Pariah again. He falls through a roof of a thrift store- fights some skeleton demons with the racks after learning something is weird with his powers as he cannot change into phantom and his body feels weird. His clothes get ripped and tatter thus him "borrowing" clothes and walking out to see the extent of what Pariah has already done.
Which causes him to run into a big bull demon and fights him one to one- while learning the new limitations on his powers/how they work in this world. Spoiled below more ideas that are very rough and not set in stone. That I copied and pasted from my word document- which was just hastily written down as to not forget.
Danny is summon for another favor for Clockwork- CW isnt in the tower but screens of timelines are playing around the room. Danny thinks some of them are cool- wondering when and where that is- until he see one of a woman running with a baby in her arms. Cut back to danny who falls through a hole in the ground and winds up falling into a thrift store. His form has changed and his powers don't really work how they were suppose to. Maybe instead following Pariah into the demon world- finding himself in same scenario. Maybe CW gives only cryptic word help dante. But dante supposedly still gone so meets nero instead. Nero over time realizes Danny might not be human- doesn't think ghost- but assume Danny might be Dante's son... for various reasoning. ---Maybe CW is split in two reason Danny was able to live on the other side. (because of legend of Pariah having been banished to in between because he was feared by demons- only for him to take over new world and being sealed there. Chronos was part of the reason he got banished. ) -Pariah Dark being big bad. But once Danny wins title of king the curse tries to bind him. Then Clockwork stabs him to the ground with his staff- essentially winning the title and being sealed away with Pariah. Danny is rescued by Dante, and he uses the staff to slow the closing of the portal. Everyone safe and rescued. Danny stands where the portal was and cries. Overwhelmed by information and also realizing he has no way back home.
--- Also thought of an idea for a sequel idea- where Danny is in a comatose state but it is revealed after a seemingly heartwarming scene of Dante and Danny watching the sunset peacefully as father and son. Then Nero arrives to pick up Danny. Dante reveals that they know where the guy who did this to danny is and how to get Danny back to normal. (Vergil having scouted ahead) Dante leaves to help clear out the problem leaving Nero with literal dead weight as Nero has to take Danny's lifeless body to the lair- Danny slowly regaining some motion as he gets closer to his-self. Nero at first saying Danny owes him big time- but as it goes on Nero like- hey don't pay it back all in one go- I still need at least one favor so I could spend a nice night with kyrie. (Because Danny uses his blood to help Nero fight back the ghosts- and then him phasing them through a collapsed ceiling while still in a coma like state) Very Nero centric taking care of Danny- and whose been taking the most care of Danny. So very much him just talking one sided to Danny but seriously hoping for the best. And to clock the guy who did this. Which my idea that it be actually Dan ;3 who split Danny apart.
#danny phantom#danny fenton#dmc#dp#devil may cry#ghost will cry#impyelam#dp crossover#dmc crossover#crossover#fancomic#dmc nero#mentioned in story ideas#dmc nico#she's in the van :D#i love nico#ngl#I can also see her and Danny talking about weapons because of his parents XD#dmc dante mentioned#fic idea#ghost can cry
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In the Dark
pairing: Aemond x Targaryen!reader [Rhaenyra & Daemon's daughter]
summary: one night, while coming back from the Street of Silk, Aemond runs into an all too familiar figure in the dark. request from @brideofcthulhu10
tags: married reader, targaryen incest, tw: knives, tw: mentions of potential SA
-------------------------------âď¸--------------------------------
The Street of Silk was never quiet, but they were usually a bit more subdued this time of night. Aemond had planned for it this way.
Leaving the comfort of the palace to find comfort somewhere else, the prince always snuck out under the cover of darkness and returned just the same. No one the wiser. No one able to catch him and mock that he would be out here with whores instead of in bed with his wife. No one able to know what he was really doing hereâŚ.
The prince adjusted his cloak to pull around him to make his way back to the secret tunnels of the castle. He rounded the corner and paused as he caught a glimpse of another figure in the streets. Not unusual, but not the usual sort either. Aemondâs good eye scanned the potential witness and noticed that their cloak was made of much finer material than any other in Flea Bottom. Too nice for peasants, though it clearly made efforts to seem plain.
Aemond growled through his teeth as he realized who it was. Even with the cloak, those whisps of silver hair that snuck out of the hood are a dead giveaway. Although Aemond had already memorized the gait. âWhat are you doing out here?â He hissed at his wife as he appeared behind her like a shadow.
You spun around fast. Wide eyed in startled fear, which quickly faded when you realized it was him. An odd feeling for Aemond, as it was usually the other way round when people realized it was him. âDonât scare me like that!â
âWhat are you doing out here?â He repeated, still hissing, but more from the whispering now. âWhat are you doing outside the castle, alone, at night, without an escort?!â His blood boiled with each new remark to his list. Aemond thought his wife clever for a time, but he would have to rethink that in this lunacy.
You glared at him. âI do not need an escort.â You insisted. âAnd what are you doing out here? Last you told me; you would be with Ser Cristion for the night.â
The apple of his throat bobbed, but Aemond refused to admit he gulped at the accusations of his wife. True, they were both at fault here. Sneaking out unbeknownst to their people and partner. The only difference was that Aemondâs transgression did not come with the inherited danger a young lady, alone, in the middle of the night had. Your life was not your own now, and Aemond was angry that you were being so careless with it.
âThat is immaterial. You do need an escort. What if I had been a stranger in the dark?â
âI can handle myself, Aemond.â You continued to insist. Why did the Gods have to give him such an infuriating woman as a wife? âIâm not the soft petal that other women in the palace are. Iâm a Targaryen.â
True, you were not as soft as the other ladies. Rhaenyra may bare bastards left & right, and Daemon may be an opportunistic lech, but they had done right by their daughter. Teaching you to not only be an adequate lady of court, but also a skilled rider, both of dragon & horse, and how to defend yourself. Targaryens were never short of enemies. It was best to be prepared. But their Targaryen jewel had not been trained in the same way Aemond had. More how to hold a knife and properly thrust when the moment came, but not actually overcome a group of attackers if swarmed.
âTargaryenâs bleed just as much as anyone, ÄbrazČłrys.â Aemond told her. Stepping close. You predictably take a step back away from his ire. âWe are not immortal like our beasts. What would you have done if I had been another man? Two men? Twenty?â
Your back eventually hit a walk. Locked on with Aemondâs eye as you felt a swell of fear in your belly at his words. âIâŚI would run away.â
Aemond cruelly laughed at your answer. âYou would outrun twenty men? Youâre fast, byka ÄbrazČłrys,â he remembers the races they had when they were children, before he sprouted to his current height, âbut not fast enough to outrun twenty.â He then used that impressive height of his to quell around you. His arm coming up to place his hand against the wall. Blocking one exit. âWhat would you do if I had been a stranger in the dark?â
There was a tense moment between you. You felt trapped. You have to force your body to stay still and not tremble. âStop it Aemond.â You hiss as you try to push him away. Heâd made his point. Perhaps this was a bad idea. But you would never admit it.
âWho's Aemond?" Your eyes flickered up to him as Aemondâs voice sounded different. Void of the subtle hints of affection he had for you, and stone cold. A blade was suddenly out from by his pocket and by your throat. âI'm just a faceless, masked man in the dark.â
Your back went straight against the wall as you tried to create as much space as possible between you, Aemond, and the knife. âS-Stop itâŚâ
âMake me.â Was his reply. âYouâre a strong, capable Targareyn, arenât you? Make me stop.â
You realize you canât. Youâre too afraid. This was indeed Aemond, your husband who loved you, but your mind kept thinking on what if this wasnât Aemond. What if this had been a strange man in the dark? What is this wasnât a test but truly real? An enemy of your mother? An enemy of Aemond? Or just a man like so many in the city who pulled women into dark alleys and forced them to their needs? What if this had been real?
Aemond saw the fear welling up inside you as tears came to your eyes in panic. He put the knife away and leaned in to give you a kiss. His build softening around you as the point had been made and the âgameâ was over. You cling to Aemond in relief. Like a life raft out to sea. Overcome with emotions you kiss your husband desperately in a manner unbecoming of commoners in an alley, much less royalty.
Aemond kissed you back with equal fervor. Never missing an opportunity to kiss you. Relief also washed over him as well, thinking on the what-ifs if he had not run into you and another man did. What could have happened to you. The prince growled possessively at the thought and ran his hands over your body to claim it from these imaginary brigands. You moaned against his lips. Breasts heaving as you pant against him while his knee slid up between your legs as he bucked against you. âLet us go home issa jorrÄelagon.â
You nodded fervently. You just wanted to go home now. Be with your husband. Be in the palace walls. Be safe.
The prince released you and the two of you walked back through the cobblestone streets for the tunnels. âWhy are you out here anyway, issa jorrÄelagon?â He realized you had never answered him.
âFather told me once of a spot past the Iron Gate that, if you look out at it at sunrise, you can see Valyria.â Aemond resisted the urge to roll his eye. What a ridiculous story. Valryia was leagues away. Heâd barely come close to it on Vhagar; though in truth he would never fly near the place after what happened to Princess Aerea. âI know itâs silly, but I wanted to see it.â
âWhy now?â He asked. You had lived in Kingâs Landing on & off for most of your life. Had you wish to see âThe Valyrian Sunâ (yes, he knew what she was talking about) you could have done so at any time before. Why now, alone, when such danger was about for them?
âIn times of trouble, I look to the Old Gods more, like your mother looks to the Seven.â Daemonâs influence, no doubt. Or perhaps it was just her own. Aemond parroted the phrases and did the prayers when asked by his mother, but he would not truly say he was bound to one set or the other. âI thought it might bring me some clarity on things. Some answers.â
âAnswers on what?â You donât answer, which made Aemond suspicious, but he doesnât pry further. âWhy didnât you just ask me to come with you?â
âI thought you wouldnât go if I told you it was something my father taught me.â
He frowned. Did you really think him that petty of the man that he wouldnât go just because Daemon Targaryen taught of it first. âCome. This way.â
You do not have time to react as Aemond took your hand and pulled you down a different alley. âWhere are we going?â
âThe proper way.â He told you. âYou were headed for the Dragonâs Gate. Yet another reason why you need an escort.â You frown at Aemondâs slight but follow after him.
The two of you meet the âValyrian Sunâ together. There is no cast of Old Valyrian in the sun beams, nor any of the answers you seek. But when you turn to look at Aemond amongst the sunrise, you feel some kind of peace. Some kind of answers. âLetâs go home.â
#;ask and ye shall receive (request answers)#;pen & paper (fanfiction)#aemond targaryen#aemond one eye#book!aemond#prince aemond#house of the dragon#hotd#aemond x reader#house targaryen#hotd imagine#hotd fanfiction#aemond targaryen x you#aemond targaryen x reader#house of the dragon imagine#game of thrones#game of thrones scenarios#got imagine#got scenarios#imagine#scenarios#hotd smut#house of the dragon smut#female reader
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Kiss it Better Pt:2
Curly x Reader
AN: Holy shit I did NOT expect all the love and support from the original like god damn! People begging for a part 2 and everything (Iâll make sure to tag those who asked for one at the bottom) Like oh my god thank you guys so much! This means the WORLD to me! As a disabled person trying to make his medical issues more accurate it means so much that yall love it and how I write in general! Thank you!
SUM: You and Anya were busy dealing with changing Curlyâs wrappings together. Sharing stories, and just trying to stay positive. Thatâs when you just had to ask. Whatâs going on between her and Jimmy?
Warnings: Jimmy, sexual assault, Anya sharing her trauma so pls take care of yourself, medical gore, medical situations, light violence,
âThank you again for handling Curlyâs medication. Iâm sorry I just-â Anya would try to explain again how sorry she was that she was struggling to do her job. A job you could never blame her for. Sheâs been through a traumatic event of the ship crashing, and already had to try and save a near corpse. She deserves to breathe.
âAnya itâs fine, really. Iâm his romantic partner as well. It be weird if I didnât pick up some responsibility and tried to take care of him. You also deserve time to rest. Youâve done so much for him, and saved his life. Give yourself more credit. Itâs not a sin to ask for help.â You would try and comfort her, as you would grab the fresh bandages for Curly.
He needed a lot of them, and they had to be changed out relatively often. Heâs basically just exposed meat after all. The risk of infection was high, which you were wondering how he didnât even catch any yet, so he needed alot of attention and care.
If only Pony Express had packed more, because the med bay was running out of them fast. Very very fast. Might be only able to maybe re wrap him a few more times now. Had you terrified because as much as you wanted to take care of him you had to leave some bandages for the rest of the crew. In case of another emergency.
You wish you could be doing more.
âWeâre going to undress you. Is that alright?â Anya would ask Curly, who in return would give two blinks to indicate that he consented to being stripped. Was gonna have to be done but it was still so kind of Anya to still ask before hand.
The two of you would soon get to work on changing out his bandages. A very slow, careful, tedious job. One that normally took over a hour to do properly. So itâs time to kill some of that empty space.
âYa know, this isnât the first time over had to wrap up a certain someone because they got hurt. I remember a time when we were at a Ski resort with his family. Someone wanted to try a path that was meant for experts and before you know it someoneâs returning to the lodge with his leg bone sticking out of his pants.â
Anya gave a little âoh myâ as you just laughed at the memory. Curly just adored sports. Especially the winter variety. You felt so blessed that he had a job that paid so well. Well enough that the two of you, and his own family sometimes, could go and enjoy vacations like that.
You wonder if the two of you will ever see the snow again.
âThat sounds rather nice, minus the whole breaking his leg. To share a cabin together with someone. Cuddle for warmth together by the fire place. Sounds really nice.â She would speak dreamily. As if she knew it was simply that. A dream. Something that will never happen again. No matter how hard she tried.
Like something was wrong with her.
âI bet youâll get that moment. When we escape here youâll have a flooding of men and women coming your way. The brilliant woman who managed to fight death and win. Again and again. The most brilliant woman to ever live.â You would praise her, as you were very mindful of Curlyâs catheter. As if that needed to be messed with.
âYeahâŚ..MaybeâŚâŚâ Anya didnât really seem to actually respond. Was like she was just saying words for the sake of words. Had you wondering.
Even before the crash she had just started acting off one day. From being a cheerful woman who was gentle and full of smiles, to being so quiet and scared by the littlest of sounds. Like she expected someone to jump from around the corner and attack her. Any feeling of safety and comfort vanished.
You were worried.
âSay, Anya-â You began to speak, while disposing the bandages safely into the bio hazard bag. â-Is everything ok? I mean duh weâre not doing to hot with being, ya know, crashed and all. But besides that. You just seemâŚ..different.â
Anya seemed to not hear you. She simply worked on checking over Curlyâs body. Hunting down any infections, looking for possible bed sores, monitoring his healing, and getting ready to do the ever so gentlest of sponge baths.
Anya did always get in the zone whenever someone was hurt. You figured she didnât catch what you said because of it.
So repeated yourself, as you stood next to her. Impossible to miss what you were asking, as you would help Curly sit up and just move his joints to better reach with the sponge.
The only sounds in that room were Curlyâs whines of discomfort. Whines to indicate truly how much pain he was in when even the pain killers can numb it.
âAnyaâŚ.I know you can hear me. Is everything alright? Not to be rude but Iâm kinda asking you a question.â You would be gentle, but she still couldnât help but looked distressed.
âAnya whatâs-â You would reach a hand out, to comfort her, but the second it was raised towards her she would immediately flinch. Her startled reaction ended up even making her drop Curlyâs leg on the table.
Oh thatâs gotta hurt.
For a fleeting moment you put Anya on the back burner, and just focused your attention on comforting Curly. How he gave a weak sob from the intense pain.
âShhhh I know Curly Fry. I know. Itâs gonna be ok. It was an accident. You know she didnât mean it. Shhh.â You would kiss his forehead, as Curly had a muscle spasm through his body from the intense shock to his system. So exhausted and in so much pain.
âItâs gonna be ok. I promise. I love you so much. Just think about our future. How we will get off this ship, and have that family. Have our own baby-â
The moment you said baby, thatâs when Anya finally cracked.
Her hands were now covering her face, as she just broke down into sobs. Sobs that sounded so hoarse. Like sheâs done it so many times that her body was just abused from it. Left you so worried and confused.
What the hell is going on here?
âAnya, whatâs wrong? What did I say?â You would gently guide her to a chair, and worked on stroking her hair. Giving her as much comfort as you would to Curly. The same gentle love as he would get. Love she deserved.
It took a while for her to catch her breathe, and you didnât rush it because it really seemed she needed it, but her own trembling body was finally able to quite down.
âI need to tell you something. I need to tell you something about Jimmy-â
You were quick to kneel down infront of her, and was ready to take in every last word she was going to say. Maybe what secrets she held could finally explain why the hell you all were crashed here. Why Jimmy crashed you all.
âJimmy ra-â
Thatâs when the door opened.
As if that bastard had a sixth sense for whenever people were talking about him. That same annoyed expression, same sneer, same empty eyes.
All three of you kinda froze in time now. Looking at him, as he looked back at you all. Scanning you. As if judging to figure out what was being said before entering.
âHeyâŚ.CaptainâŚ.â You swallowed, as you would return to standing. Anya herself remained in her chair, with her head down. Didnât seem she trusted herself in showing any expressions right now.
âWhat were you guys talking about?â He asked, as he seemed slightly on edge. Like he hasnât been sleeping well or had too much caffeine. Just this tension of paranoia was in the air. Like he was worried about something.
âJust about the bandages. Weâre starting to run low, and Anya is just getting worried about having enough.â Wasnât a complete lie. The best lies were the ones with truth sprinkled in.
âOf course heâs wasting our supplies.â He scoffed, before walking over to the table. You were trying to give Curly some respect with grabbing something to cover him up with, but it was like Jimmy wouldnât let you. The stare he gave you, when you grabbed the clean hospital gown, made you just freeze in place.
It was just so full of hate.
It was just so full of disgust.
It was just cruelty in dark eyes.
It was just focused on you. As if Anya didnât even exist right now. Like she meant nothing to him. Nothing but the wind in the air. Something you donât even bother in registering every day. Like how you breathe in air in your lungs.
You donât notice until itâs gone.
âHas he been given his medication?â He would ask you, as his hands would be firm on the bed side. Just seeming to assert his dominance with standing over the man. Like some got over the little people.
âYes Jimmy. Heâs been medicated. We are actually in the middle of washing him. It would be nice if there was some privacy-â You tried to gently hint at, only for it yo fall on deaf ears.
"The crash really did do a number on you. You donât even have a dick anymore. Just holes huh-?â Jimmy would scoff, as that was your final straw. You would give Jimmy a hard hip bump, and quickly covered Curly up. To give him dignity and respect.
âHey-! Watch it! Donât think because you are Curlyâs little eye candy doesnât mean you can go pushing people around-â Jimmy would bark at you.
You didnât feel fear.
Jimmy was messing with YOUR man now. Curly deserved dignity and respect. He doesnât deserve to be called a âset of holesâ no way in hell. No one deserved that and ESPECIALLY not Curly.
âWill you just shut up?! What the hell are you even doing here?! Arenât you the Captain now? Captains are suppose to be doing whatever it takes to help the crew. All youâve been doing is walking around and insulting everyone! Itâs like you donât want us to be saved. Be a Captain and take some responsibility already-!â
The anger that he had for you was terrifying. You swore it was like a switch. He suddenly seemed taller, bigger, angrier, more intense. You felt like you were shrinking more and more. Like you would melt into a puddle under that heated stare.
But you refused to.
For Curly.
âListen here you-â
SLAP
You smacked him across the face. Was like the world went mute. No one was so much as breathing. Just the stares of shock from Anya and Curly.
âGet. Back. To. WORK.â
You ordered, and he listened.
He would hold his red cheek, and walked away like a dog with its tail between its legs. As if he was all talk and no bite. That he couldnât bring himself to be more than an angry voice.
Someone needed to keep him in his place.
âCan this damn ship get any more hectic?â You sighed with your fingers to the bridge of your nose. Just trying to think clearly.
Thatâs when Anya found her voice.
âIâm pregnant.â
You opened your eyes wide, and was frozen in place.
Did you hear that right? No no. No way. Why would she be pregnant? How would she get pregnant? Who would get herâŚ
âOh my god.â
You slowly turned around to Anya with the puzzle pieces falling into place. You finally realized what had happened.
Jimmy never was a responsible man.
@meheheasasa @letmebedelutional @trashcansally @balanahala562
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#mouthwashing#mouthwashing fandom#mouthwashing fanfic#curly x reader#captain curly x reader#Captain curly#mouthwashing Anya#mouthwashing x reader#mouthwashing x you#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing jimmy#tw jimmy#fuck you jimmy#x reader#Iâm still so shocked you guys all wanted more#I hope you guys like it#I didnât plan for a part two so like this might be a bit weird and messy#forgive me#but you gotta give the people what they want#hope yall like#thank you again for the support#means the world to me#it really does#thank you#thank you so much#yall are wonderful#writers on tumblr#writer#writer on tumblr#part 2
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Prestonâs 18th Birthday
Content Warning: Incest, Homophobic Slurs, Weight Gain
Preston was a normal teenage boy, except for the fact that he was adopted by a gay couple when he was born. His mother didnât want him and he learned that some time after he was born, she died. He knew nothing about his biological father, but he never stopped looking, his dads didnât even know who his father was. His dads were great, but Preston never stopped wondering what life would be like had he been raised by his biological father.
A couple months ago, Prestonâs biological father reached out through Facebook. His profile had no pictures and seemed to be new, but he had the DNA test from when he was born to prove his relation. His name is Travis, heâs in his mid 40âs and he is a construction worker. Despite not knowing what his dad looks like, Preston started to talk with his dad more and more. His two dads suggested that he meet his father for his 18th birthday before the party, Preston thought this was a great idea and so did his dad. So they had made plans to meet, he would chat and have lunch and come back to his house for his party.
Prestonâs Birthday
Preston woke up to a massive aching boner, one that was begging to be released. âOh GOD!â He moaned loudly as he grabbed the hard on, his underwear soaked in precum. âFuck I donât have time to take care of thisâ Preston thought, âIâll just take a shower and maybe itâll chill out.âPrestonâs cock calmed down after he took cold shower, but he could help but notice that he was still very horny. He threw on a t-shirt, a pair of briefs and some gym shorts. Preston checked his phone, it was 11:30am already, he needed to hurry or heâd be late for lunch with his dad. He went downstairs saying bye to his dads, got into his car and headed towards Travisâs place, his cock slowly leaking precum the whole way there.
Preston noticed as he was getting closer that his dad lived in a trailer park, which was fitting given he is a construction worker. He didnât realize how nice he had it with his dads, living in a suburban home with a nice new car and electronics. Travis would barely be able to afford rent let alone all of Prestonâs nice commodities. Preston knocked on the door, he heard heavy footsteps walk towards the door and it swung open to reveal Travis.
Travis was HUGE! His tight orange shirt couldnât even cover his massive belly, and his underwear⌠or are they shorts??? They looked tight on his waist. His face was covered by a bushy beard, hair that the top of his head lacked. He still has some hair around the sides of his head, which only added to his grotesque appearance. âPreston!â The massive bear of a man said with a thick southern accent, he squeezed Preston in a tight hug, the contact making his cock leak some pre cum. âIâm so glad youâre finally here, Iâve been waiting to watch- I mean⌠see you all day!â
Travis showed Preston into the trailer, it was dingy and grimy, Travis clearly doesnât know how to pick up after himself. Preston could tell he also didnât smell the best, having a very distinct and vile musk that emanated from him âIâve been excited tooâŚâ Preston noticed the massive amount of food that was over in the kitchen area. âIs that⌠for lunch today?â Preston was confused, there was no way two people could eat that much, even if Travis was a massive hog.
âOf course it for lunch big guy! Youâre 18!â Travis said that as if Preston should know what that means, it was then that Preston felt his stomach gurgle in hunger. âBut letâs start with your birthday cake, I made it special myself.â Travis walked Preston to the dining table and pulled out the most delicious cake Preston has ever seen.
âOh you really didnât have to do this much, thereâs no way Iâm eating all of this.â Preston said as he sat down, Travis cutting him a slice of cake. âOh it chocolate, thatâs actually my favorite.â Preston took a bite of the cake and it was the most delicious thing he had ever eaten in his life, it even made his cock stand back up. âOh god⌠this is good!â
âI thought you might like it, made it with my own secret recipe.â Travis went behind Preston, massaging his shoulders as his son starts to pig out on the rest of the cake. âItâs a tradition for men in our family to eat like this on their 18th birthday, son.â Preston couldnât stop himself from eating more of the cake, he couldnât process what was going on. âWhen men in our family hit adulthood, we grow quickly into slobbish pigs.â
Preston was having a hard time processing the information, he couldnât stop eating the cake long enough to worry about what was happening to him. âOh god⌠daddy whatâs happening to me?â Prestonâs voice started to have a light souther accent that could barely be heard through the chewing.
Prestonâs body started to plump up quickly, his abs from his years in track were fading away. âYou canât stop the change, son.â Travis started to feed Preston once the cake was gone, âYour faggot daddies couldnât have prepared you for this son, they wouldnât know what to do with a pig like you.â Prestonâs head was spinning, his body getting fatter and fatter as his body gives in to his DNA.
Prestonâs once smooth chest has pumped into two soft moobs that jiggled with every bite, his jawline started to fade as the fat started to accumulate. Preston was in a blissfully perverted shock as his whole life was being ruined by this pig of a man, his cock rock hard was leaking like a faucet, soaking his underwear. âDaddy⌠Iâm getting so fatâŚâ Preston moaned in between foods, âw-why do I sound like this daddy⌠w-â
âShhhhhhâ Travis shushed Preston as he shoved a greasy slice of pizza into his mouth. âYouâre becoming just like your daddy, and your daddies daddy, as so on. You come from a long line of perverted hogs.â Travis gripped Prestonâs cock with his other hand, âmy daddy helped me out exactly like this, fattened me up real good.â Travis pumped Prestonâs leaking cock as he told him how much of a pig he was going to become. âYouâre gonna love it boy, youâll be able to turn other men into fat hogs just like us. It one of our many talents, one that I canât wait for you to use.â Preston was in a fattening bliss, listening to the hypnotic words coming out of his daddies mouth as he played with his own fattening body.
âOh daddy⌠daddy Iâm gonna-â Preston released, soaking his underwear and his dadâs hand, this act of finishing sealed Prestonâs already inevitable fate. âOh god daddy, look what youâve done to meâŚâ
Prestonâs belly was as big as his daddies, he couldnât stop jiggling the soft flesh that had taken over his body. âI didnât do nothinâ boy, this was your natural calling.â Travis took a doughnut, wiped Prestonâs cum into it and fed it to his son.
After Preston was done chewing his specially glazed doughnut he wondered who he could make into a fat piggy himself, the he thought of his faggoty dads. âLetâs go visit my dads, daddy!â
âOf course boy, those faggots are gonna piss their pants when they see how big youâve grown.â Travis helped Preston up and walked his half-naked fat ass to Travisâs pickup truck, the two whales could barely fit in it together. âWeâve got a party to get to, boy.â
Part 2?
#male weight gain story#weight gain story#weight gain tf#fat gain tf#male weight gain stories#male tf
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you said i have to trust more freely - r.c series (four)
requested here; (one); (two); three
pairing: rafe x pogue!reader(the duff inspired) word count: 5k
Why did it feel like his stomach dropped out his ass when Nate showed up?Â
It wasnât like he actually expected you to choose him over Nate. The guy was practically perfectâyour textbook version of what a guy should be. Clean, nice, predictable. The opposite of him.
But watching you hesitate like you were weighing your options right in front of him? That hurt like a bitch and he hated how much it did.
He couldnât shake that look in your eyes.
Like you werenât sure what you wanted anymore. While every time you were around, he didnât know what the hell he was doing. Itâd been like that since the beginning, even back at that party when you tossed your drink in his face after he called you that stupid fucking name. He could still remember the way you glared at him, cheeks flushed and eyes blazing. Heâd been a cocky little shit, sure, but that fire in you? It hooked him.
Yeah, he liked messing with you. Always had. But lately, it didnât feel like just messing around anymore. It felt different. It felt like he was doing it because he didnât know how else to get close to you.
And now Nate was here, acting like he had some claim. Offering you lunch like it was some kind of test. Rafe shouldâve laughed it off. Shouldâve let you go. But instead, he was standing there, watching the whole thing go down, and all he wanted to do was grab you by the hand and pull you out of there. Away from Nate.Â
Away from all this... bullshit. There he was, full-on spiraling because of a girl. Because of you.
He knew he was developing feelings, had been knowing, which terrified him because it was unfamiliar territoryâhe was used to being in control and suppressing emotions, not feeling vulnerable or emotionally attached.
Because maybe, just maybe, he didnât want to be the guy you rolled your eyes at anymore. Maybe he was done playing the part of the asshole who didnât give a fuck.Â
Shoving his hands in his pockets, Rafe walked faster, trying to shake off the feeling. But he knew. It was the way you laughed when you were around him, even when you were annoyed. The way you always gave as good as you got. The way youâd looked at him todayâlike maybe, just maybe, you werenât as immune to him as you tried to be.
You were off having lunch with Nate.
The safe choice. And if there was one thing Rafe Cameron wasnât? It was safe. And maybe, deep down, he hoped that was the reason you wouldnât be able to walk away from him for good.
He kept walking, his footsteps loud in his head, like each step was trying to drown out the voice that was screaming at him to turn around. To go back and say something. Anything. But he didnât. He wasnât that guy. Not the one to chase after someone, to make a big scene. No, he was the one who sat back, arms crossed, and watched the whole thing play out like it didnât bother him. Like it wasnât tearing him up inside.
Rafe realized he was pissed. Not at Nate. The guy was just playing his part. But at you. No, not really at you either. He was pissed at himself. For letting things get this complicated. For letting you get under his skin the way you had.
It wasnât like you were his. It wasnât like he had any right to be jealous.
But damn, the way Nate had just swooped in like it was nothing, like it was so obvious youâd say yes to him. The dude barely had to try, and there you were, actually considering it. Maybe you even wanted him to. He stopped walking, running a hand through his hair, trying to clear his head.Â
Screw this. He needed to get out of here, away from the whole situation. Maybe blow off some steam, hit the gym, or go for a drive. But the thought of you sitting there with Nate, laughing, maybe even flirtingâit was enough to make his jaw clench.
What if you were actually into that guy? What if all this back-and-forth with him was just... nothing to you? Some game you were playing because you liked the attention, but when it came down to it, youâd always pick someone like Nate?
If you picked Nate, fine. But if there was even a part of you that was feeling the same thing he wasâif there was even a chance you werenât as over him as you pretended to be? He wasnât going to let you walk away that easily.
Not without a fight.
Rafe dug his phone out of his pocket, stared at the screen for a second. He could text you. Could hit you with some sarcastic line, ask how lunch with Captain America was going, but it felt... small. Petty. And, honestly, he didnât want to come off as that guyâthe jealous, insecure type. But not doing anything felt worse, like he was just letting things slip through his fingers.
He leaned against a nearby fence, staring off into the distance. Part of him was waiting for some kind of sign. Like maybe youâd ditch Nate and text him instead. Maybe youâd realize that this whole thing with Nate was boring, that you needed something more.Â
Or maybe you wouldnât. Maybe youâd laugh and smile at Nateâs predictable jokes, and thatâd be it. Youâd pick the guy, the one your friends would probably approve of. The one who didnât make you feel like you were on a rollercoaster every time you were around him.
Rafe kicked the fence post. He hated this. Hated feeling out of control, like someone else was calling the shots. Like you were making choices that didnât involve him.
And yet, there he was. Waiting.
He was about two seconds away from hurling his phone into the bushes when it buzzed in his hand. His heart actually stopped for a second. No way. There was no way.
He glanced at the screen, and there it wasâyour name, lighting up his phone.
Every instinct told him to play it cool. Let it ring a few times, donât seem desperate. But his hand moved on its own, thumb swiping across the screen before he could stop it. He brought the phone up to his ear, heart hammering in his chest, trying to sound normal.
âYeah?â he said, trying to keep his voice steady, like he wasnât dying inside.
And just like that, everything elseâNate, the frustration, the whole stupid back-and-forthâfaded into the background. Because right now, you were calling him.
Lunch with Nate was proving to be exactly what you expected: normal. easy. boring.
He talked about his classes, his weekend plans, asked you a couple of questions about your own. And you answered, smiling, nodding, doing all the things you were supposed to do. But your mind? It was somewhere else entirely.
It was with Rafe. With the way he looked at you before he left, like he was daring you to stop him. Like maybe he wanted you to say something, anything, to keep him from walking out. And as much as you tried to ignore it, that little flutter in your chest hadnât gone away.
âSo, howâs studying going?â Nate asked, pulling you back to the conversation.
âHuh? Oh, yeah, itâs fine. Just... a lot,â you mumbled, forcing a smile.
Nate raised an eyebrow, clearly picking up on the fact that you werenât all there. âYou sure? You seem a little distracted.â
You hesitated, your mind flashing back to Rafe. To the way heâd been so close to you during your study session, leaning in like he had every intention of pushing your buttons. But it wasnât just that. It was the way heâd talked about the bonfire, about seeing you as more than just someone to mess with. And for the first time, it felt like maybe Rafe wasnât just a flirt. Maybe he was actually trying to tell you something.
âIâm fine,â you lied, stabbing at your sandwich with way too much enthusiasm.
But you werenât fine. Not even close.
You knew why. Sitting here with Nate, everything felt... off. It was like you were trying to make this picture-perfect version of your life fit, but the edges werenât lining up. You were supposed to want thisâsupposed to be happy that the guy youâd been into for months was finally showing interest. But instead, all you could think about was Rafe. About the way your heart had sped up when he looked at you, the way his voice dropped when he was being serious, when he wasnât hiding behind that smirk.
God, why couldnât you stop thinking about him?
Nate cleared his throat, snapping you out of it again. âYou sure youâre good? Youâve been pretty quiet.â
You bit your lip, nodding, but it was like the words were stuck in your throat. âYeah. Just... got a lot on my mind, I guess.â
Like how you mightâve just let Rafe walk away.
Nate didnât push it, and part of you was relieved. The other part? It was screaming at you to stop pretending. To be honest, at least with yourself. Because the truth was, as much as you wanted to want Nate, you couldnât shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe, Rafe was the one you shouldâve been sitting with right now.
And that scared you. Because choosing Rafe meant choosing chaos. It meant diving headfirst into something that had no guarantees, something that could blow up in your face. But it also meant feeling alive. Because with him, everything was more intense. More real.
As you and Nate left the sandwich shop, walking back to campus, you couldnât help but glance around, half-expecting to see Rafe somewhere. But he wasnât there. He was gone, and now you were stuck wondering if maybe youâd just made a huge mistake.
Nate smiled, oblivious to the storm inside your head. âSo, you wanna do this again sometime?â
Your heart sank a little at the question. Because the answer shouldâve been a yes, no hesitation. But instead, all you could think about was Rafe. About how you wished you were with him, laughing, arguing, feeling that electric tension that seemed to hang in the air whenever he was around.
You swallowed, forcing a smile. âYeah, sure.â
But as the words left your mouth, you knew you were lying.
And Nate, being Nate, didnât seem to notice. He was still smiling, probably thinking the lunch went fine, like everything was falling into place just the way he thought it should. But you? Your mind was miles away, stuck on other guy and the way heâd left without looking back.
You felt like you should say something to him, like you should be more present in the moment, but every time you opened your mouth, nothing came out.Â
Did you really want Nate? Or had you just been chasing the idea of him this whole time because it was easy, because it was safe? Because he was the kind of guy you grew up thinking you should be with?
But then there was Rafe. And the more you tried to push him out of your head, the more he stayed there, taking up space, making everything with Nate feel... dull in comparison.
âSo, I was thinking,â Nate said, breaking the silence, âMaybe we could check out that movie this weekend? You know, the one you mentioned a while back?â
His voice pulled you out of your thoughts, and you blinked, trying to focus. âOh. Yeah, maybe.â
But the truth was, you didnât care about the movie. You didnât care about any of it right now.
âHey, you okay?â Nateâs voice snapped you back again, his eyes narrowing in concern.
You plastered on a smile, nodding quickly. âYeah, sorry. Just... distracted, I guess.â
 âWell, if youâre busy this weekend, we can always reschedule.â
âIâll let you know,â you replied, hoping he wouldnât push it any further.
Nate nodded, but you could tell he wasnât convinced. And honestly?
Neither were you.
By the time you made it back to your dorm, you were mentally exhausted. Nate had left with a casual wave and a promise to text you later, but as soon as he was out of sight, you let out a long breath you didnât realize youâd been holding.
You sat on the edge of your bed, staring at your phone like a fucking idiot. But no messages came in, no missed calls from Rafe or anyone else. It was just you, sitting there, replaying the whole afternoon in your head.
Why did everything feel so wrong with Nate? He was supposed to be the plan. He was supposed to be your choice. The easy, right choice.
Suddenly, your phone buzzed in your hand, pulling you out of your thoughts. Your heart jumped in your chest as you glanced down, half-expecting it to be Rafe. But it wasnât. It was Nate, sending a follow-up text about the weekend plans.
You stared at the message for a long moment, your thumb hovering over the keyboard.
What were you doing? Why were you still holding onto this idea of Nate when your heart was clearly somewhere else? Somewhere messy, complicated, and... dangerous.
Before you could stop yourself, you closed out of Nateâs message and opened Rafeâs contact. Your thumb hovered over his name for a second before you hit "Call."
The phone rang once. Twice. Your heart pounded in your chest as the seconds dragged on. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe you should just hang up before heâ
âYeah?â Rafeâs voice came through the line, a little gruff but unmistakable.
You froze for a second, suddenly unsure of what to say. But then you took a deep breath. âHey, uh... you busy?â
There was a pause, and you could almost hear the smirk in his voice. âWhat, finally realizing Nateâs not as fun as you thought?â
 âSomething like that.â
There was a beat of silence, and you thought maybe he was going to tease you some more. But then his voice softened, just like it had earlier. âYou wanna meet up?â
Your heart skipped a beat. âYeah. I think I do.â
Another pause, and then: âSame spot?â
You knew exactly what he meant. The library, third floor, in the corner where youâd been studying. You nodded, even though he couldnât see it. âYeah. Iâll be there.â
âSee you in a few.â
And just like that, the line went dead. What had you just done?Â
You hung up, heart racing like youâd just agreed to do something you werenât supposed to. But wasnât that the whole point? This thing with Rafeâit was unpredictable, messy, and completely off-script.Â
As you grabbed your jacket and headed out the door, you couldn't help but feel like you were crossing some kind of line. With Nate, things were clear-cut, easy. But with Rafe? It was like stepping into the unknown. You knew there was a chance this whole thing could blow up in your face, but for once, you didnât care.
You wanted real. You wanted fire. And right now, that was Rafe.
As you walked to the library, the campus around you blurred, your thoughts spinning back to every moment youâd had with him. Every teasing comment, every cocky grin, every time heâd gotten under your skin without even trying. Maybe you had been pretending with Nateâpretending to want something you were never actually sure about.
But with Rafe? You werenât pretending. Even when it terrified you.
When you reached the third floor of the library, it was quiet, almost too quiet. Your footsteps echoed as you made your way to the spot you both knew so well. And there he was, leaning back in his chair like he didnât have a care in the world, like he wasnât the reason youâd been tied up in knots all day.
You rolled your eyes and crossed the room, dropping into the chair across from him. âDonât start,â you warned, though the edge in your voice was weaker than you wanted it to be.
Rafeâs grin widened. âWhat, canât handle me being right for once?â
You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest. âRight about what? You being a total pain in my ass? Sure, Iâll give you that.â
He leaned forward, resting his chin on his hand like he was amused by your whole existence. âCâmon, you know why youâre here.â
âSo,â you started, trying to act casual, like your heart wasnât pounding out of your chest. âI guess lunch with Nate didnât really do it for me.â
He raised an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth twitching up in amusement. âNo shit. Figured as much.â
You rolled your eyes, but you couldnât help the smile that crept up. âWhy are you so smug about it?â
âBecause,â he said, leaning forward, resting his elbows on the table, âI knew youâd come back.â
Your breath caught in your throat at how sure he sounded.
Of course he knew. That cocky, self-assured grin of his said it all. Heâd been waiting for this momentâwaiting for you to realize what he had probably known all along.
And damn if it didnât piss you off.
You sat down across from him, trying to hold onto the last shreds of your resolve, but it was slipping. Fast. Because the way he was looking at you? Like he was daring you to admit what you were really feelingâit was messing with your head.
âSo, what now?â you asked, trying to sound nonchalant.
Rafe crossed his arms, biceps bulging in his stupid polo, like he was giving you all the space in the world to figure it out. âThatâs up to you.â
Thatâs the thing about himâhe could act all indifferent, like he wasnât bothered, but you could see it. There was something behind his eyes, just barely kept in check. And it wasnât nothing. It wasnât just some game to him. Not anymore.
But you werenât ready to give him that satisfaction. Not yet.Â
âWhat makes you so sure Iâm not just here to tell you Iâm picking Nate?â
That smirk faltered for just a second. âYouâre not.â
You couldnât be.Â
âHow do you know?â
âBecause if you were, you wouldnât have called me.â
The way he said itâso simple, so damn certainâmade your heart skip. He was right, and you hated that he knew it. Hated that he had this pull on you that no one else ever had. But at the same time, you couldnât deny the truth. Not when it was staring you in the face, wearing a smug expression and leaning back like he had all the time in the world.
âWhat if I did?â you shot back, still trying to hold your ground.
He shrugged, that infuriating grin never leaving his face. âThen I guess Iâd have to live with that. But Iâm not worried.â
Lies.
You narrowed your eyes at him, âYouâre so damn cocky, you know that?â
âIâve been told,â he said with a wink.
You wanted to roll your eyes again, to act like he wasnât getting to you. But he was. And he knew it.
You rested your elbows on the table, your eyes meeting his. âAnd what if I told you I wasnât sure? What if I told you Iâm still figuring it out?â
He didnât flinch. Didnât move. Just kept his eyes locked on yours, like he was seeing right through the bullshit. âThen Iâd tell you to take your time. Figure it out.â
The way he said itâso calm, so sureâmade your stomach twist. He wasnât asking you to pick him. He was daring you to. Because Rafe didnât do half-measures. He didnât do safe. He was all or nothing, and right now? He was putting it all on the table.
All you could think about was the way your heart was hammering in your chest, the way every part of you was screaming that thisâthisâwas what you really wanted.
And thatâs when it hit you: you werenât scared of Rafe. You were scared of how much you wanted him.
âRafe, Iââ You stopped yourself, unsure of where you were even going with that.
His expression softened, just a fraction. âWhat? What do you want to say?â
You wanted to say everything. That you werenât just messing with him anymore either, that you couldnât stop thinking about him, that you were tired of pretending like Nate was some perfect choice when he wasnât even in the same league. But saying all that? To someone who hurt you so much before?
He had that look, like he knew exactly what was going through your mind but was giving you space to figure it out on your own. But you werenât sure. You werenât sure if you were ready to say it out loud. Admitting how much Rafe meant to you felt like letting him win, like handing him all the power. And after everything, after all the back-and-forth, you didnât want to be that vulnerable. Not with him.
âI know Iâve been an asshole,â he started, almost hesitant. âAll those years, the shit I saidâit wasnât right. You didnât deserve that. You donât deserve that.â
Your breath caught in your throat.Â
He ran a hand through his hair, like he was trying to figure out how to keep going. âI just... I donât know. It was easier to push you away, to act like I didnât give a fuck, you know? Like messing with you made it better somehow. But it didnât.â He paused, his voice softening. âIt made me feel like shit.â
You didnât say anything. You couldnât. You just sat there, staring at him, trying to process the fact that Rafe CameronâRafeâwas apologizing.
He swallowed, looking down for a second before meeting your eyes again.
 âI know Iâm a mess. Hell, Iâve always been a mess. And I get why youâd pick someone like Nate. The guy who wonât make you lose sleep wondering what the hell is going on.â He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. âBut the truth is, I fucked up. Iâve been fucking up since the beginning. With you, with us. And I hate that I did that." He pushed back slightly, running a hand over his face like he was frustrated with himself. âIâm not good with this... with feelings. With being upfront. But Iâm trying, okay? Iâm trying to figure it out. I donât expect you to forgive me just like that or trust me after everything Iâve pulled. But I want you to know Iâm not the same guy I was back then. It sounds fucking insane, but Iâm not. I want to be better. For you. Because, fuck, I donât want to lose you to some guy just because I couldnât admit I was scared of thisâof us.â
You bit your lip, not trusting yourself to speak just yet.
âAnd look, I know Iâve made it hard for you to believe me,â he said, his voice softer now, more honest than youâd ever heard him. âBut you should know that youâre not just some game to me. Not anymore. Youâre... everything Iâve been too afraid to want.â
The guy who spent years acting like nothing could touch him, like he was untouchable, was now sitting across from you, pouring his heart out. And you had no idea what to say.
Your mind was racing. It felt like everything you thought you knew about him, about what you were feeling, was suddenly flipped upside down. You'd always assumed Rafe would never be the guy whoâd sit down and admit he was scared of something, especially not scared of you.
But here he was, looking like he was waiting for you to say somethingâanything.
What? What were you even supposed to say? That you forgave him? That you didnât? That you were still figuring out how you felt about everything? You werenât even sure yourself. But you did know one thingâwhatever this wasâit was real.Â
You couldnât deny that anymore.
âYou donât have to say anything. I just needed you to know that Iâm not going to play around anymore. Not with you.â
Your heart clenched at that. And the thing was, you could see it in his eyesâhe meant it. There was no teasing smirk, no cocky attitude. Just him. Raw and real and honest in a way that caught you completely off guard.
And suddenly, you realized that was what scared you the most. Not Rafe, but the way he made you feel. The way he pushed you to stop pretending, to be real, even when it terrified you.
You stared at him, feeling like your brain was short-circuiting. He was spilling his guts to you. It felt... unreal, and you were torn between wanting to laugh and maybe freak out a little.
All you could think was, How the hell am I supposed to handle this? This wasnât what you were expecting. Not from him.
âSo, what,â you started, leaning back a bit, trying to keep your voice casual, âyouâre just, like, a totally different person now? Is this the part where you tell me youâve been secretly going to therapy or something?â
Rafeâs lips twitched, but he didnât fully smile. âNo, not exactly,â he said, running a hand through his hair. âBut... Iâve been trying to figure shit out. With myself. With us.â
With us. Your stomach did this stupid little flip at that, but you ignored it. âThatâs a big statement, Cameron. Youâve had, like, two whole epiphanies and suddenly youâve got everything figured out?â
He sighed, âIâm not saying Iâve got it all figured out, alright? Iâm just trying to be honest for once. Iâm done screwing around with you.â
His tone was sincere, and as much as you wanted to keep teasing him, the look in his eyes made your throat tighten a bit. You shifted in your seat, your mind running a million miles an hour.
âI mean, I guess thatâs an improvement,â you muttered, keeping it light even though your heart was pounding.
Rafe raised an eyebrow. âYou guess?â
âWell, yeah,â you said, crossing your arms and giving him a pointed look. âYou were, letâs see, kind of a dick for a long time.â
He didnât argue. âYeah. I was.â
That caught you off guard. No defense, no excuses. Just... agreement.Â
âOkay, so... what now?â you asked, trying to play it cool. âYou apologize, and I just forget all the crap from before? Youâre really not making this easy,â you said, trying to keep your tone light, but your voice betrayed you, sounding a little too soft.
Rafe shrugged, that little smirk threatening to return. âDidnât think you wanted easy.â
You narrowed your eyes at him, trying to keep your composure. âYou think you know me so well, huh?â
âBetter than you think.â
Your heart raced. âRight, because I just love being confused and frustrated. Itâs my favorite hobby.â
He chuckled, clearly enjoying this back-and-forth. âWell, you could always just admit that youâre intrigued. That might save us both some time.â
âIntrigued? Please. More like Iâm questioning my life choices.â
Rafe leaned forward, âHey, at least itâs not boring, right? I mean, look at us. This is way more interesting than whatever you were doing with Nate.â
You couldnât argue with that. âTrue. But interesting doesnât mean itâs not a total trainwreck waiting to happen.â
âMaybe,â he said, âBut it could also mean something different.â
 âYouâre really pulling out all the stops, huh?â you said, trying to lighten the mood again. âWhatâs next? A serenade?â
âActually, Iâm not a bad singer,â he quipped, flashing that trademark grin. âBut I think Iâll spare you the performance for now.â
âWow, Iâm overwhelmed by the humility.â
He chuckled softly, âYou love it. And you know it.â
There it was againâthe way he said things like it was a fact, like he could read you better than you could read yourself. And the worst part? He wasnât exactly wrong.
âYou donât know everything about me, Rafe,â you said, your voice quieter now, but not weak.Â
His smile softened, just barely, like he heard what you werenât saying out loud.Â
âMaybe not everything. But enough to know youâre not here by accident.â
It was easier to blame the pull he had on you. But deep down, you knew it wasnât just him. You were here because something between the two of you, no matter how messy, no matter how confusing, felt unfinished.
You crossed your arms, trying to gain some control of the situation. âYouâre awfully confident for someone who doesnât have all the answers.â
âNot all of them,â he agreed, leaning back in his chair again, âBut I know enough to know Iâm not letting you go without a fight.â
There it was. That line you didnât know you were waiting for. The line that said this wasnât just some flirty game for him anymore. That maybe he was as scared of losing you as you were of admitting how much you wanted him.
And in that moment, sitting across from him, with all his defenses down and no jokes left to deflect with, you realized something terrifying: you werenât ready to walk away either.
âWell,â you said, your voice softer, âI guess weâll see if youâre really up for it, wonât we?â
His eyes locked onto yours, something serious flickering there for a moment before he nodded. âYeah. We will.â
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron au#rafe x reader#itneverendshere worksâ¨#rafe cameron fluff#rafe fic#the duff#requested#rafe cameron x pogue!reader#rafe x pogue!reader#university au#rafe fluff#heâs in love#enemies to friends to lovers#character development#rafe fanfiction#rafe outer banks#outerbanks rafe#rafe imagine#rafe obx#obx rafe cameron#frat!rafe#rafe cameron one shot#rafe cameron imagines#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron obx#rafe cameron outer banks
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kiss with a fist [ii]
"Blood sticks, sweat drips, break the lock if it don't fit, a kick in the teeth is good for some, a kiss with a fist is better than none"
===+++===
pairing: tara carpenter x reader
summary: you signed up to help tara with her stupid plan. not whatever the hell one would call this.
warnings: implied sex, use of alcohol, puking, arguing loudly and wrongly, curse words(?)
word count: 5.2k
A/N: sorry to make you wait so long, but here's the second part. there will probably be a third, so fear not, the story doesn't end here. i originally thought i would be able to just end it off right here, but itâs going kind of really well and i think a third or maybe even a fourth part is more reasonable
===+++===
===+++===
For almost the entire walk to the frat house, Tara didn't actually say much. It surprised you too, the way she just glanced around the city that passed as you walked and fiddled with her nails. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, but you were so used to Tara having something to say that it made you speak instead.
"Wow, for once, you're speechless," you commented as you passed under a streetlight. Tara shot you a glare, shoving her hands into her jean pockets.
"Would it kill you to shut the hell up?"
âThere we go, back to normal. Why are you being weird?â
âIâm not being weird,â she scoffed. âMind your own business.â
"I'm just saying."
"Well don't say. Don't say."
===+++===
The party fucking sucked. It was quintessential college, with frat boys who attempted to yell over the loud music that rattled your eardrums. Coolers upon coolers of shitty, cheap beer sat against the far wall, and a crowd had gathered around them to pick off all the free alcohol they could. Maybe a year ago this wouldâve been fun. Now you found yourself disenchanted with the ordeal.
Tara was off god knows where, doing god knows what, which you figured was the point of the arrangement anyway. You werenât too concerned with tracking her down, especially if situation also presented itself as a pleasant bonusâ not having to put up with her.
Chad had wandered out of the room when he saw you and Tara arrive together hand in hand, going deeper into the party without a word. He was usually the one you hung around with at these kinds of things, but he had been a sad little dog with his tail between his legs since you and Tara announced you were meant to be a few days before the party. It seemed some of your friends were still adjusting.
The immediate reaction after Tara said âsoooo, weâre together,â was to laugh, like you two were doing a bit. It got less funny when they saw you both blankly staring back at them and then Tara grabbed your hand and held it up with a forced smile.
The whole group was going through a somewhat awkward seven stages of grief thing. Chad was avoiding you completely, Quinn was a bit annoyed you were off the market now after an egregious few months of hitting on you, and Ethan was the only one to be a bit normal, even though it was clear he too had a crush on Tara and was disappointed with the matter.
When Mindy had gotten over her disbelief, she dove right into an endless game of questions, only occasionally staved off by Anika. "So who confessed first?" had been one of the first ones, accompanied by a glint in her eye. Tara jumped in before you could even open your mouth, eager to answer.
"(Y/n) showed up on my porch, all sweaty and disgusting looking, just smelling so unbelievably bad it was overpowering-â
âI had been working out,â you rolled your eyes. âThatâs why I was sweaty."
âMhm, whatever. Anyways, apparently they were just being such an asshole because they were in love with me," Tara said, with a wide, shit-eating grin. "Right?"
You had to hide your glare behind your solo cup. "Mhm. I was just overflowing with it. I have so many things to say about you."
âAll nice things,â Tara corrected.
âYeah. Thatâs what I said.â
âWas it?â
âUh huh.â
Mindyâs questions followed you everywhere she did. Who kissed who first? Whoâs more cuddly? Have you guys slept together yet? They volleyed back and forth and you and Tara fought for the first word each time to pin it to the other with gleeful sadism. Of course, it was then flipped around once the next question came and you would huff in annoyance at the other for being an asshole.
It wasnât as bad of an arrangement as you had dreaded. You only had to be couple-y when other people were watching you two interact, or when Sam would glare in suspicion. Hold hands a few times, smile, share a glance. Other than that, things stayed mostly the same. The group probably appreciated you both not acting head over heels for the other and you liked it because it meant you didn't have to pretend to like her.
Tara had a brazen way about her that made you roll your eyes. She never took no for an answer, had a teasing remark for anything, and always felt the need to be doing something. Other people seemed to find themselves charmed by it. Others, but not you. Never you.
The walk there had been about all she could take of your personality, and the moment after you two were seen together, she ditched you at the door and wandered off to the dance floor. After that you had lost track of her, and ended up splitting your time between the kitchen, the bathroom, and the front room, away from the crowd. Mindy found you there, tugging Anika along with her.
"Cut the bullshit," She said with an eye roll, sitting right down on the couch in front of you. Anika plopped down next to her. "There's no way in hell you got together with Tara."
You grinned, sipping your beer and partially using it to block your expression. "No, we're together. I really like her."
Mindy scoffed. "You're a terrible liar." Your cheeks warmed and you tilted your head to the side.
"We have to separate you two like warring chihuahuas every time we hang out together," Anika said. She leaned forward and narrowed her eyes in a study of your face. "You're not confessing your undying love."
"I did."
"You didn't!" Mindy said, and she threw up her arms.
"I did."
"You didn't," Anika snorted.
"I...," you looked at them both, "...are you guys going to snitch?"
"Snitch to who?" asked Mindy. Now they were both leaned in, like eager children around a campfire. You swallowed.
"Sam." Mindy blinked. Then she sat back.
"What the hell did Tara get you involved in?" she asked. As much as Sam was part of your group, it was known not to fuck with her, and that's exactly what Tara was making you do.
You frowned. If anyone was going to ruin the plan, it probably wouldn't be Mindy or Anika. "You can't tell Chad, but we're not actually together."
Anika raised her eyebrows and shot Mindy a glance. "That didn't take a lot of brain power to figure out." You shrugged.
"Well, we fooled Sam. Tara needs a fake partner so she can go to parties and see people and stuff. And, well, you know how Sam is about that stuff."
Mindy crossed her arms. "And you said sure?"
You shrugged. "I mean, I didn't really see why not. Plus, she was being super annoying about it. Showed up at my house. She was begging, almost."
"So, you what, took pity?" Anika asked, giving you a look. You rolled your eyes.
"Trust me, it's not because it's fun. She's way too annoying and she'd probably say the same thing about me."
Mindy frowned, looking out the doorway and into the booming party. "Chad wouldn't like it."
You sent her a worried look. "Please please please, don't tell Chad. I know he's upset by the whole thing, but Sam would literally kill me if she knew I was helping Tara run around town."
"I don't know...," she said. "I know Tara wants freedom, but this is kind of bullshit, (Y/n)."
"It won't be for long. She just wants to meet someone. When she does, it's over. Life goes back to normal."
"Do you guys have a target in mind, or something?" Anika asked, a bit amused.
"Not even a little a bit. Itâs like, her second party ever,â you shrugged. âI donât know if sheâs really dead set on a person yet.â
âWell⌠she better figure it out soon.â
âMhm.â You looked out the same glass door and into the booming party outside. Through the jumping crowd, you could see in the distance Tara, who was dancing with her eyes shut and a smile spread wide across her cheeks. She looked happy like that.
You took a swig of your beer.
===+++===
The boom of a fist on your door shook the thin walls of your apartment, and you jolted awake to hear three more hit the wood.
âOPEN UP (Y/N), NOW!â
Immediately, a headache washed over you and you groaned. You tried to smush your head into the pillow to make it go away but there were the banging fists again, and you sat up, letting your legs dangle off the edge.
âOPEN THE FUCK UP,â came the voice again, and you blinked. Oh shit. You knew that voice. You clambered to your feet and stumbled out your bedroom and down the hall in a dusty pair of shorts and shirt. âIâM NOT KIDDING! OPEN THEââ
You pulled the door open like a deer in headlights, seeing Sam seethe on the other side with her fist raised. Nostrils flared, forehead creased, eyes narrowed. She looked about ready to rip your head off.
âYou,â she said, spitting the word. You flinched. âWhere the fuck is Tara?!â
Shit shit shit shit shit. Had she not gone home the night before?? Things felt a little bit fuzzy still. You remembered grabbing another beer from Ethan and flopping down in an armchair, then another and another, and then maybe wandering home while the sun started to rise. Had you seriously lost track of the attempted murder victim on her first night out???
You blinked, already aware that your cheeks were a dusty pink. "I, uh... she, um..."
Her hands went to her hips, glaring at you expectantly. "Well?! Where the hell is my sister?!" When you were still staring like an idiot, she threw up her arms. "I fucking knew I shouldn't have trusted you with her! This is what I get"
You stared, feeling a lie (though probably a clunky one) come to your brain. "I think her phone must've died, but she just left."
Sam's eyebrows rose, but you weren't sure if it was in disbelief or even more rage. "What do you mean?"
"We, um," your eyes went to the floor, feeling her glare laser itself into you as you spoke. "We got super drunk last night at the party, and I brought her back here and we both fell asleep," you looked back up to see her giving your pyjamas a once over, nose wrinkled. You flushed. "No! Noâ we didn't do that. We just fell asleep."
Sam looked at you for a moment, then crossed her arms. "I waited all night for her, you know," she said.
You nodded. "I know. I'm so sorry, it won't happen again."
"It won't." Sam repeated. "When I don't hear from her for a whole night, you know what I assume happened, right? You know how that feels?"
You swallowed. "I do."
She sighed. "I'm really trying here. I know she doesn't want me worrying about her, and I know she wants freedom. So I'm trying, (Y/n). Don't make me regret it."
"I won't, Sam." It felt like a giant wedge in your throat, and you tried to smile at her but she continued to frown, and she turned around and walked off. The moment she was gone, you spun around and slammed the door. You dashed through your apartment, grabbing your phone off your nightstand and quickly pulling up her contact.
Little Shit (do not pick up). You pressed the button and put it up to your ear, wandering over to the nearby curtain and lifting it to look out onto the city. "Come on, come on," you pleaded aloud. "Fucking pick up, asshole."
After the third ring and a good prayer to god even though you weren't especially religious, it stopped ringing and you could hear her grumbling.
"Tara??" you rushed. "Tara, where are you?"
"Mmm," she groaned, "the hell do you want so early?"
You scoffed. "Tara it's almost noon." There was a pause on the other end of the line.
"What?"
"Uh huh," you grunted. "Your sister just almost ripped my door off it's fucking hinges because she doesn't know where you are. And you know what, neither do I!" There was some shuffling from her end, and then what sounded like running footsteps.
"I went home with this girl last night, I just woke up," she rushed. "Sam is going to kill me!"
"She almost killed me!" You almost yelled into the phone. Now that the worry had subsided you were left with anger. "She almost killed me because you wandered off and didn't go home."
"It's not like I meant to fall asleep," she argued back, and you could hear some talking in the background in faint voices. "I must've slept through my alarmâ wait, what did you tell Sam?"
"That your phone died, and you were on your way home."
"WHAT?! (Y/n), this girl's apartment is at least fifteen to twenty minutes away," Tara said into the phone.
"Well it's not like I knew that, now is it?" you shot back, scratching your arm, "considering I didn't know if you were even alive until you picked up."
"God, not you too. I'm fine, drama queen."
"Drama queen?"
"Yeah, drama queen," Tara repeated, and more noises flooded in. It sounded as if she was in the city now, walking, "you sound just like Sam. I picked you because I thought you knew I didn't need a babysitter."
"That's not being babysat, Tara. That's making sure you're not dead," you rolled your eyes.
"Well, I'm not."
"Good."
"Great."
"Fine!" you shot back.
"Awesome."
You sighed into the speaker. "Pick up some flowers or something on your way back. Claim that's why you're late."
"Good idea, actually," Tara hummed.
"I know." And you hung up.
===+++===
You found yourself at an identical party the very next Friday night too, and the Friday after that, and after that too. The walls were just as stained. It smelled just as full of mold. This one didn't have a front room for you to barricade in, so you sat at the bar top instead, in the kitchen with your chin rested on the cool granite.
It had taken a whole night to get rid of the hangover from a few weeks before, and in doing so you had remembered why it was exactly that you didn't find these things too fun, anyways. You hadn't gotten anywhere near as drunk since. Mindy and Anika had decided on date night instead, and Chad and Ethan were off to watch a movie that originally you would've been invited to, had it not been for Tara.
It was painful, that Chad was ducking you. The irony wasn't lost, that the more time you spent with your fake girlfriend at parties and outings like a couple, the closer you got to actually repairing your relationship with him. You still would've rather gone to the movie, though.
You could actually see Tara, from where you sat. Through the bar window in the kitchen, she was on the dance floor, moving along with the rhythm of hard EDM as best she could. It was a giant mob of people, all clumped up and hopping around in excitement, and you didn't especially want to be out there.
As you watched, a guy came up behind Tara, tapping her on the shoulder and smiling down at her. You thought nothing of it, until you got a longer look at the guy's face. In the revolving, multicoloured lights that hung over the crowd, you recognised him in an instant, standing straight up and weaving your way through the party.
"You having fun, Carpenter?" He asked, with a douche-y smirk on his face as he said it. You rolled your eyes, coming up behind Tara and standing right behind her.
"Iâ" but you interrupted her.
"She is, Frankie," you shot, staring at him and crossing your arms. Tara whipped around to you with a glare.
"(Y/n), go away," she whispered loudly. But you stood your ground.
"Tara, literally anyone but him. I mean, anyoneâ"
"That's not your decision."
"Sam tased him in the balls last time. I mean, come on, you have to know he's a douche."
Frankie scoffed. "I'm sorry, who are you?"
"(Y/n) is just aâ"
"âWe're dating," you interrupted again. "So fuck off."
"No, we aren't," Tara shook her head. "Not really."
"Yes, we are," you nodded at Frankie. "Please leave. She's not sleeping with you tonight." He frowned, but started to walk off.
"That's not your decision, asshole!" Tara scowled and she reached out an arm to stop him. "Frankie, stay. You know what, I wasn't going to, but I will now."
"Frankie, leave. I mean it, you creep." You turned to her and glared. "Tara, listen to me, youâ"
"No! Frankie, stay. Maybe I need the company," she shot back, narrowing her eyes. Frankie looked between you both, as did a few other people in the room who were starting to notice.
"They literally call him Date-Rape-Frankie, Tara. There's no way in hell you're sleeping with Date-Rape-Frankie. Frankie, leave."
"Frankie, no, stay. Well, what if I want to?"
"Then you're being stupid."
"Bold choice of words coming from you! You're not my mother."
"I'm not trying to be your mom, Tara. I'm using basic common sense. That guy is a creep and a perv," you pointed to him.
"Hey!" Frankie interjected, raising a hand to your shoulder.
"Fuck off!" you and Tara said in unison, dismissing him to glare right at each other.
"Well maybe I deserve the freedom to sleep with weirdos and whoever I want! I mean, who are you, the fucking sex-Nazi?"
"I don't have a problem with literally anyone else, Tara, but he's a weirdo!"
"Well then let me make that call! I'm not five. You don't need to baby me, I know he's a weirdo!" People were definitely staring now. You were both shouting, but a lot of it was drowned out by the EDM. It didn't stop others watching you point in each others faces and scowl.
"It's not babying you, Tara! It's basic caring! You have no clue about this shit, this is like your fourth party ever!"
"I've managed this far, haven't I?!"
"What, you want a cookie?!"
"Yeah, maybe I fucking do! I'm an adult, asshole! Let me do adult shit!"
"Wow, it's so adult and mature of you, to sleep with creeps and get hungover every Friday. How adult."
"Well, maybe it's not, but who gives a shit! I'm having fun for once! I'm being free without a fucking serial killer on my ass! I know you can't relate, but Christ, take the stick out from your ass!"
"Real nice," you shook your head. "This is what I get for helping you. Of fucking course." Before she could reply, you turned around and headed out the sliding glass door, into the fenced-in backyard. There was a pool back there, and you collapsed into a wrought iron pool chair, right near the edge.
People watched you warily, as you sat out there, but within minutes, the party was resumed. Even from outside, you could hear the thumping bass shake the windows gently as the glass moved in the panes.
There was a faint scent of petrichor from the small patch of grass out there, and the sky rumbled in the distance. It was peaceful out there, with small hanging fairy lights and the pool in front of you. You propped your legs up on the glass table and tried not to scream.
This was exactly what you should've expected, from Tara. Of course she would be selfish. Of course she would be brash. A part of you wasn't surprised. Disappointed, sure. But not surprised. You just sat there and tried to cool your breathing, watching the city lights in front of you.
You must've sat like that for an hour or two, just watching the city. It didn't feel like long enough. You might've even felt at peace, until you felt a hand on your shoulder.
"Um...excuse me?" You craned your neck around, looking up in your chair to see a concerned guy looking down at you.
"Are you (Y/n)?" He asked, awkwardly scratching his neck. You nodded, confused.
"Uh, yeah? Do we know each other?"
"No! No, I was asked by Tara, I think was her name? She wanted me to get you. She's your girlfriend, right?"
The worry came back, and you stood up. "Why, what happened? Where is she?" Sam was really going to kill you.
"She's in the guest bathroom, I think she's sick."
===+++===
"Tara?"
"(Y/n)?" you heard a very uneasy voice on the other end.
"Can I come in?" you asked, and when there was no response, you let yourself inside. She was on the other end of the massive bathroom, leaned up against the bathtub with her head close to the toilet bowl.
Tara looked absolutely green, with her hair sweatily stuck to her forehead and eyes barely open. "Christ Tara, how much did you have to drink?" you asked in worry, coming to stand over her.
"Oh, justâ" she gagged like she was about to puke and you bent down to grab her and tug her towards the toilet bowl. You spun back to the guy in the doorway, who stared at you both with wide eyes.
"Can you get me some crackers and Gatorade?" you asked him, sending a hopeful glance. He nodded and closed the door, and you turned back to Tara, who was bent over the toilet bowl.
You moved her gently and lifted the toilet seat up. "Are you okay?" you asked with a frown. You felt like an idiot the moment it left your mouth.
She raised her eyebrows. "Do I look okay?" Tara mumbled.
"Well, no."
"Thass' good," she slurred. "I had too many," she hiccupped. You nodded.
"I'd say so. How much did you have Tara?"
She giggled. "This many." She held up four fingers with a giant, toothy grin and slumped with her arms encircling the toilet bowl.
"Since when?" you blinked.
"Since you got allllllllll pissy!" You sighed, hands going to her hair and pulling it back. She wrinkled her nose at you. "Why are you touching my hairrrrr?!"
"So you don't vomit all on it, idiot," you replied, shaking your head. Tara huffed.
"I'mnuh gonnuh puke."
And then Tara puked. Everywhere.
===+++===
You both sat there, that way, for about ten minutes. Tara vomited three times, during that span, and when she was done, you handed her the crackers and Gatorade and told her to do her worst.
She downed them in another fifteen minutes, sitting in the bathtub and eating while you sat leaned up against the bathroom wall, across from her, just in silence. The sounds of the party seemed to have died a little bit as the night droned on, and by now people would be wandering home or to someone elseâs place.
While you waited, you shot Sam a text, letting her know youâd bring Tara home and that she was okay. Sam didnât reply but she saw the message, and you figured that was good enough. When you checked the weather app, Tara finally spoke, coming to her senses a bit with more food in her system.
âThank you,â she said quietly, staring down at the package for the crackers in her hand. âThanks.â
You shrugged, staring at the toilet in front of you. It probably reeked in there, but at this point you were nose blind. âFor what?â You meant for that to be it, just a small little acknowledgment, but Tara shook her head.
âThank you for that. For being here.â
She stared right at you when she said it, and you knew she meant it with conviction. You nodded. âI know we donât always get along, but I had your back, back there.â
âYou have my back?â she asked, smiling a little and grabbing her Gatorade from the edge of the tub.
âI agreed to help you, didnât I?â
She paused for a moment, then nodded. âYou did, yeah.â Tara looked over at you, then tilted her head to the side. âI still donât get why, though.â
âYou were honest, for once.â It came from a surprising place, and you said it before you entirely knew you were speaking. You didnât completely know what it meant either, until after you said it, but the words passed between you almost like a new understanding.
A few moments of silence came and went, before she spoke again. âI walk silently places at night in case I hear Iâm being followed. By Ghostface. Same thing as when Iâm home alone. I donât do it as much anymore, but I still do it sometimes. Donât tell Sam, please please please. Sheâll make me go to therapy.â
âOkay,â you said, nodding gently. You leaned your head back up against the wall, craning it up to look at the ceiling.
âWhy are you being nice to me?â She asked. You laughed, tracing the popcorn pattern of the roof with your eyes.
âIâm not the devil, Tara.â
ââŚNeither am I.â
âI know,â you said, and you reached your arm out for a cracker. She gave you one and you crunched down on it, while an especially large bass hit came from the speakers outside. âGod, this music fucking sucks,â you groaned.
Tara nodded. âItâs really hard to dance to.â
âWell,â you shrugged, âit didnât seem like you were struggling earlier.â
Tara frowned, then tilted her head in curiosity. âWhatâs your favourite song?â
You raised your eyebrows in amusement. âWhy?â
âJust wondering,â she said.
âOkay⌠youâre going to laugh, though.â
âAm I?â she grinned. You nodded.
âDo you know that one song, The Promise, by When In Rome? Itâs from the 80s, itâs super cheesy?â
She stared off for a moment, in thought, then shook her head. âDonât think so, howâs it go?â
You rolled your eyes, but began to quietly sing it in a tone that wavered in between spoken word and humming. It was terrible and you were tone deaf, but it was the song. âIf you need a friend, donât look to a straaanger. You know in the end,â your voice broke a little at the low note, and Tara giggled but you continued, âIâll always be thereee.â
âWow.â
âMhm. And then it skips a little bit and the chorus goes, âIâm sorry but Iâm just thinking of the right words to say, I know they donât sound the way I planned them to beee.ââ
She cut you off with her hand, laughing hysterically. You felt your cheeks flushed, and in any other time you wouldâve been annoyed with her laughing at you. But this didnât feel mean. You just smiled right back.
âThat was good, actually,â she managed, between small laughs. âWhy is it your favourite?â
âUm,â you shrugged, âmy brother used to sing it to me, years ago when I was scared.â
âI didnât know you had a brother,â Tara said, leaning her head on the tile wall of the tub.
âI have six.â
She blinked, then sat up straight. âSince when?!â
âAlways, Carpenter,â you shrugged. âEveryone knows.â
âEveryone who?â
âChad, Mindy, Anika. Even Quinn.â
âI didn't know. How come you never talk about them?â
âI just donât,â you frowned. Tonight was definitely not the night to get into that. Instead, you pivoted topics. âWhy, whatâs your favourite song? I showed you mine, now youâve got to show me yours.â
âIâm ninety nine percent sure thatâs not how that saying is used,â she laughed, âbut fine. When I was crying as a baby, my mom sung me this song, called Baby, I Love You by The Ronettes.â
âDonât think Iâve heard of it.â
Tara shook her head. âProbably not, but theyâre the same group that does that one song Be My Baby?â
âOh, yeah.â
âApparently my mom had Baby, I Love You playing in the hospital, when I was born and everything. Itâs kind of comforting. When I miss her, I play it.â
âHow often is that?â
She shrugged. âMore than youâd think, considering sheâs a giant asshole.â
"That's always how it is."
"Mhm... and just so you know, I know Frankie was a creep. I wasn't actually going to do anything with him. Just flirt. Have fun."
"I know. I wasn't trying to babysit you, I just wanted to warn you. That creep has so many stories."
"I know. I just don't like being told what to do, sometimes. It's a whole thing. I'm working on it, seriously."
You didnât know what to say to that, so you didnât say anything at all. You both sat in what you assumed was a prolonged silence, until you looked down finally to see Taraâs eyelids falling heavy.
You stood up with a sigh. âYou should go home.â There was no reply, and you checked out the small window in the bathroom to still see it was pitch black out. It was definitely too late to send her home this sleepy, and after the incident a few weeks ago, there was no way Sam would let her stay at yours. âTara,â you nudged her.
She groaned, rolling over in the tub and snuggling up. You rolled your eyes, then looked out the window one more time with an annoyed grumble.
===+++===
The longer you had to walk with her on your back, the more you regretted this. Her arms were wrapped around your neck, face pressed onto the back of your shoulder and knees held up by your hands. You couldnât see her, but you knew her eyes were shut and she was super close to being actually asleep.
"We make a good team, you know," she mumbled into your shoulder. You knew she was being funny, but you were too tired to laugh as you trudged up the hill. Carrying a drunk girl home was not at all what you had anticipated of the night, and though it had been shitty at the beginning and shitty until almost the very end, you could definitely say it wasn't shitty right then.
When you arrived at her apartment complex, Tara was soundly asleep and Sam came out to meet you both, taking her sister from you and stumbling with her towards the door. In the distance, right over another hill, the sky was already beginning to lighten up a bit.
Right as both Carpenters reached the door, Tara stopped for a moment to turn back to you with a smile. "Thanks, babe," she said with a cheeky grin that was only half awake. You smiled back.
"You too, babe."
Sam rolled her eyes, pulling Tara through the door. It was a pleasant night, still with the same faint scent of rain oncoming. In your weird, newfound peace as you walked home yourself, you didn't see that Quinn was watching you from the upstairs window.
===+++===
so that was fun lmao. anyways there will be a part 3 but you and tara are kind of maybe friends now? now it's time for feelings đ
#jenna ortega#jenna ortega x reader#jenna ortega x you#jenna ortega imagine#tara carpenter x you#tara carpenter x reader#tara carpenter x y/n#tara carpenter
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