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goldentsum · 4 years ago

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— delivery boy

PAIRING: shinsou x reader

GENRE: fluff, awkward scenes

WORDCOUNT: 2.3k

SUMMARY: a sleep-deprived college student just trying to get by the hellhole he’s in by getting a job as a delivery boy. shinsou hates what he does but if he can get a certain cutie, it might lessen his hatred for his job.

TAGS: college au, just fluff with soft and awkward shinsou, sleep-deprived! shinsou as always, cursing, crack

AUTHOR’S NOTE: quarantine made me do it. sighhh, can’t i have a cute delivery boy everytime i order shit? also, shinsou is me pls. D:<

shinsou hates his job. he doesn’t like it one bit. the way some orders are too long that he was using his big brain juice all the time or when someone cancels their order when he already bought the fucking food, he absolutely hates it. his faith in humanity is decreasing at a rapid speed with his job, not like it exists to begin with anyway.

the purple-haired male is proud of his 4.0 gpa despite him slowly losing his sanity as he lose sleep over it but there was this asshole of a teacher in literature 3 was making it difficult to maintain it just because the old geezer has his head stuck in his ass and he won’t even give them the ppt slides, that asshole.

shinsou rubbed his tired eyes while his one hand typed on his computer, listening to the asshole professor in front. the male craned his neck and massaged his neck then took a quick sip of coffee, closing his eyes as he did so. when he opened his eyes the slide in front was already different, making him put down his drink in surprise and tried to copy the notes in a hurry, cursing quietly when he noticed that the last sentence in his notes was cut off.

he fussed over his notes because it was the only thing that’s keeping him from failing the class. the professor was an asshole and liked to pick on his students and shinsou absolutely hates him. he swears when he graduates, he’ll curse the professor off and flip him off as he walks away from this hellhole.

when the class finished, shinsou looked at his notes in horror. it was cut off in a lot of places and so incoherent that when he tried to read it, he thought he gave himself an aneurysm because of it.

his tired eyes stared blankly at his screen while his internal monologue went on about how he’ll just find a sugar mommy and live his best life while the other students went out the room. his thoughts were then cut off when he heard an oh so familiar voice echoing out to him like a siren in the sea.

purple eyes turned to the side and saw you with your friends who were waiting outside the classroom door as you walked away from his sight. shinsou’s not gonna admit it but he finds you really pretty. you’re just so soft and small compared to him. your sweet smile was always present every morning unlike his dead eyes and resting bitch face. annoyingly, you always distract him from the lessons which freaks him out.

no one has ever fazed him but then you came along with your annoyingly pretty face and aesthetic outfits. always sitting beside him, you smelled really sweet too as creepy as that sounds, and you always greet him with such softness that it made him wanna vomit rainbows and sparkles. no one has ever caught his attention so how the hell can you distract him without even doing anything?

also, why do you write your notes in a notebook and still make it look really good and clean? every time he looks over to your side, he sees your notes and his eyes bulge out when your pretty handwriting, the cute and small illustrations, and pretty colors of your notes fill his sight.

that’s also one of the things shinsou liked admired about you. you’re probably the only person in your whole batch who writes their notes on a notebook, not that it’s a bad thing but how can your notes still be so pretty and organized even with professor asshole’s hellish pace of changing the slides?

shinsou sighed and ran a hand through his messy tresses then fixed his things up to get away from the hellhole and come home to his lovely bed. It must've been at least 24 hours since he last slept because he was up all night the other day to fix and perfect every assignment in the devil’s class.

when he finally got to his dorm, a huge sigh of relief left him as the tall male practically collapsed on his bed. his fatigue overcame him in an instant as his eyes closed in instinct, finally sleeping after stressing so much and intaking coffee, lots of coffee. thank god that it was friday and he didn’t have to wake up early because he finally passed his requirements to every class for the semester.

it was already the next afternoon when shinsou woke up, his body ached but at least he wasn’t running on caffeine to keep him from falling over and dying on the spot.

loud clanking was heard from his kitchen as he perked up in confusion for a moment then groaned in dread when he realized who it was. shinsou let his head hit the pillow once again, staring at his ceiling and he felt a headache coming in already.

fucking kaminari is in his dorm again. he didn’t get the blond’s actions but the latter always told him that he was “making sure he wasn’t dead yet” but shinsou knows that kaminari only wants free food but he appreciates the effort, he guesses but can’t kaminari check if he wasn’t dead a little quieter?

he sighed in annoyance and grabbed his phone, going out after stretching and feeling his bone pop satisfyingly. shinsou was greeted with the sight of kaminari fighting with the sizzling oil on the pan in his kitchen.

“what the fuck are you doing?” shinsou’s bored voice reached the blond male who looked at him and smiled, “morning dude. i noticed you had bacon so i’m gonna cook it.”

shinsou was about to reply but the sharp yelp kaminari let out cut him off and he watched the shorter male curse at the pan, rubbing the spot where the hot oil hit him.

he scoffed at the scene and shook his head as he sat on the couch and opened the tv. he was scrolling idly through the channels and when he didn’t find anything entertaining, he stopped on the news.

opening his phone to check his social media feed as he let the tv and kaminari’s curses and screams become background noises. shinsou just wants to see what type of shit people are in these days and it wasn’t because he’s gonna stalk your account. definitely not that.

shinsou scrolled through your pictures on ig, admiring the aesthetic ones combined with chaotic energy in your profile. he smiled a bit when he noticed you unarchived an old pic in your ig. you had shorter hair in the picture and wore some funky shades.

“ohh~ who’s that? she’s cute” kaminari popped out behind him, looking at shinsou’s phone over his shoulders. shinsou jumped at his friend’s presence, letting go off his phone accidentally as he tried to grab it to not let it smack against the hard floor.

when shinsou saved his phone, he whipped his head and glared at kaminari, “what the fuck, denki!”

“geez, sorry man” the latter nervously chuckled and walked back to the kitchen with fear coursing in his body when the taller male’s glare didn’t falter. shinsou rolled his eyes at him and looked at his phone. his usual dead eyes widened whilst horror filled his system.

on his phone, it showed your old picture from a year ago and on the bottom left, the heart was filled. shinsou quickly unliked the picture and threw the phone beside him on the couch as if it burned him.

“what the fuck what the fuck no no no no--” he mumbled in distress, his heart beating a mile per second. he paled when he imagined seeing you again in class on monday.

“i’m gonna puke,” shinsou muttered and held his head, eyes wavering in fear. kaminari poked his head from the kitchen and saw his distressed figure.

“um? shinsou? are you okay, dude?”

when he heard kaminari’s voice, his head whipped to him in a snap. shinsou smiled at him as a shiver ran down kaminari’s spine. “do i look okay, denki?”

a loud scream echoed in shinsou’s dorm and that was the last time anyone has ever seen kaminari denki. rip.

shinsou was stressing the fuck out, he even felt tears prick his eyes with how stressed out he is. nothing could compare to the stress he’s feeling right now well maybe his first finals was also this stressful but that’s not the point. kaminari tried to cheer him up with some bacon and eggs but the male was so snappy though he ate the food after denki left.

after sulking in his dorm, he shook it off and tried to take his mind off it. he showered, worked out a bit in his room, and made some shake but the embarrassment was always looming in the back of his mind. you might think he’s a creep or something. you two barely talked to each other with only good mornings and pleasantries exchanged for the whole semester so what the hell is he gonna do?!

before he knew it, he was accepting some orders in his phone to let out some steam and keep him busy. for the first 2 orders everything was fine but he suddenly got tired and the shame he left at his apartment was still in his system. so he accepted the last order for today before going back to his dorm to do his last resort of screaming into the void. he then went to the boba shop to get the orders.

getting the order, he went straight to a nearby dorm in his campus that’s being shown in his phone to get the money and yeet himself out afterwards. shinsou rubbed his neck, mentally and physically tired after going around and delivering people their food and from getting a harsh life-changing embarrassment happen to him. he’s never gonna stalk you or anyone for that matter again and if he ever sees you again, he’s gonna jump through the nearest fucking window, he doesn’t even care anymore.

as he rang the doorbell and waited for someone to open the door and get the heavy milk teas off his hand, he was already thinking of going to another school and just live a whole new second life. dramatic as that sounds but it was tempting at this point.

but life was not having it. life wants to see him suffer thoroughly. before he thought he just had some bad luck but now, he knows that life was fucking him over and laughing at his misery.

the door opened and in came to view the last person he wants to see right now, you, and it’s not fair, why are you answering the door with an oversized shirt and some shorts with messy hair, looking like a goddamn cutie! you want to kill him, don’t you?

your (e/c) eyes gleam with familiarity when you see the awkward tall male from your class and saw the precious boba in one of his hands.

“shinsou, right? i didn’t know you did delivery?” you smiled at him making the purple-headed male scream internally. he cleared his throat awkwardly and nodded, “y-yeah, the pay isn’t that much but it helps...” he replied so painfully awkward that if anyone sees you two, they’ll cringe. it was that bad.

but being the angel that you are, you giggled and nodded as if you weren’t affected by his awkwardness. he’s thankful for that.

“wait a second, okay? i’ll get the payment” you chimed and he nodded as you run inside the dorm. shinsou’s mind was running a mile per second, did you not receive the notification of his shameful actions? or were you being an angel and sparing him the embarrassment?

he wants to hibernate and never leave him bed after this. shinsou snapped out of his thoughts when he saw you jogging towards him with the same beautiful smile you wear everyday and he unconsciously straightened up.

“here you go! thank you, shinsou!” you giggled and got the milk teas of his hands while you gave the money to him.

“thank you, (y/n)... um, are you gonna drink all of that?” he asked, cursing his mouth when he just blurted it out. your eyebrows quirk playfully and chuckled, shaking your head no.

“no, silly. my friends are inside” shinsou nodded stiffly and looked around making you two just stand in silence. a painfully awkward silence. shinsou saw you were about to say something but a loud voice from inside the room called out.

“(y/n), where the fuck are you?! the boba! ..shit-! i saw that, you cheater!” you looked back and rolled your eyes then looked back at him. you waved your hand at him with a smile, “well bye, shinsou. thanks again” and closed the door.

shinsou exhaled a deep breath he didn’t know he was holding, looking at the closed door. he then walked away though his eyes were going to the door again and again until he couldn’t see it anymore. he looked at his hand and saw a piece of paper inside the bundle of money.

with furrowed brows, he opened the folded paper and he was floored!

hi shinsou! call me sometime! :)

xxx-xxxxxxx

-(y/n)

okay, maybe being a delivery boy isn’t so bad after all. he got your number didn’t he? talk about lucky!

extra crack ending: when you and shinsou are finally dating

(y/n): so... are we really not gonna talk about the post that you liked in my ig?

shinsou: you knew?!

(y/n): duh bitch.

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futurewriter2000 · 5 years ago

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Breaking Him

A/N: I’m going to be honest with you here. This turned out SO MUCH BETTER than I thought it would and I am seriously considering making this a series, which would be my fist for Draco Malfoy. I don’t know, you have to tell me but I DON’T KNOW! Maybe....maybe not....Maybe a sad ending isn’t bad. I’ll see.

REQUEST: Hey girl! I was wondering if you could write a Draco x reader where she's also a pureblood Slytherin and super confident & flirty, and he really wants to date her but she kinda ignores him/isn't intrested and he doesn't know why. You can totally choose the ending, I'm sorry if it's too long!! thank you

Could you believe that from all the boys that wanted to be with you, he was the one who was most determined to make that come true?

The first time he realized it was in Third year of Hogwarts when the two of you were partnered up in Astrology and you being you just kept flirting the guy because that’s what makes the time pass faster.

You never meant for him to fall for you. You never meant to do any harm with flirtng but you didn’t think this through. When you flrit with someone, you make them belive you are interested.

But you weren’t. You flirted because it was amusing, fun and because you were bored.

“Hey there, Lovely.” his arm wrapped itself on your shoulder and you tensed up.

“Hey, Malfoy.” you said, shaking your shoulder out of his hold. “I am actually really running late to McGonagall, so I have to go.” you turned around to him and started walking faster.

“See you at lunch then?”

“Uhm, I have a study date with some friends.” you kept surfing through your drawer of excuses.

“Dinner then?”

“Big exam tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” he said really quietly and disappointed when you disappeared around the corner.

You were avoiding him. For years he has been trying to get your attention and you still avoided him. Why?

If you gave him a chance, he would show you how to love. He isn’t as his reputation holds him to be. He is not some heartless snake. He has a heart and his heart is always filled just because of you.

For him you were the one. You were confident, you had the alpha energy that drove him insane and challanged his own. You were loyal, down to earth, witty, selfless, brave, intelligent and all the good qualities that could make you sound like a queen and each night he thought of you... of both of you. And sometimes those thoughts wandered far off, into mornings after a heated night or a scene where you wore a stunning white gown and he’d be the one standing on the aile, putting a ring on your finger.

Yes, he was indeed messed up when it came to you because you gave him feelings and thoughts he never thought could manifest. You’d be perfect. His parents would adore you because he knew you would make sure of it. You weren’t afraid, you weren’t shy or quiet, you were the one who could enter a room and cause the attention fall on you without saying a single word.

You, him?- It was meant to be.

And when he struggled with his sheets, his sleeping position, his insomnia, he knew it was because of you because how perfectly your hands would hold each other’s and how dreamily your lips would lock, his arms would hold you tight, his eyes observe your curves...

“Ugh!” he grumbled into the pillow and squeezed his eyes shut.

Why are you so stubborn?! Why won’t you agree on a date with him?! Why don’t you give him a chance to prove himself to you?!

He would love you! He would love you for the queen that you are meant to be!

Maybe if he thought of something else? Maybe that oaf who guards the creatures in the woods- Oh how you would purse your lips and narrow your eyes at him if you heard him say that. It’s just adorable teasing you.

He laid on his back and smiled at the ceiling before realizing what he is doing and turning back to the side with wide eyes.

No. He said he won’t think of you.

Then why the fuck are you still in his head?!!

‘Get out! Of! My! HEAD!’ he screamed in his mind.

But not really... he wanted to think about you all the time but the point was, he was tired and he wanted to fall asleep and think about you tomorrow but right now when he’s thinking of you, you’re just so pretty and your smile has such a nice curve in the corners, your laugh is all so girly but all so loud as well- Are you a Saggitarious? Those go well with Geminis...He’s a Gemini. Those are compatible with fire signs, aren’t they?

‘OH MY GOD! STOP!’ - he covered his ears but that seemed stupid to him since it was his brain that needed to shut up and his brains doesn’t have ears.

Hope she’s not a Virgo since Virgos and Geminis are like the most contrast to eachother and toxic.

‘I’m losing my mind over her.’ - he told himself.

She smells good, don’t you think? How does she always smell so good? It’s always one of the four perfumes and let’s be honest, the mandarine covered in chocolate perfume, as odd combination as it sounds it really makes his thoughts go wild.

Like now.

‘I hate my mind.’- he says because now he could even smell that perfume and it just makes him a bit oozy as he thinks of you and him together in bed but before he could think any further, he finally falls asleep.

---

He wakes up, exhausted, knowing exactly what happened last night before he went to sleep. Glaring at the ceiling, he grunts. “So you shut down just before it get’s interesting?”

Well, yes. That’s how Gemini brain works. Complicated.

“Ugh.” he swings on the ground and ruffles his blonde hair, running his hands down his face.

“Slept well?” his roomate said, showing him a teasing grin.

“Fabulous.” he grunted again.

“I’d say.” he continues to tease. “Someone particulate on your mind last night?” he sat on the chair and nibbled on some peanuts. “You know...keeping you awake?”

“Hey Nott? You’re a Virgo, right?”

“Yeah. How’d you know?”

“Figured. I hate Virgos. They annoy me.” he said and put his clothes on.

Theodore snorted and spun on his chair. “I see, my love for astrology spread on you. “

“I hate it.”

“Liar. You’re a Gemini. One part of you likes it, which can be enough for you to be curious what she is.”

“I don’t care what her Zodiac is!” Draco snapped at him. “It’s dumb and totally for for odd sods like you!”

“This odd sod notices a lot of things and knows a lot of things.” he stood up and walked up to him. “And this odd sod can be lethal to two-faced arseholes like you, Malfoy. Don’t think that I am afraid of you because you don’t scare me.”

“Whatever.” Draco brushed him off, grabbing his bag and walking through the door.

He was furious. He was and he knew that even though Theo and he fight a lot, they’re still quite close and he cares about him... but that doesn’t make him any less annoying.

“Nott and his stupid astrology.” he mumbled under his hot breath, knocking some students out of his way. “Move!” he snarled, smirking back at the group who were picking up their books. “Filthy mudbloods.” and he walked forward.

---

He walked in his favorite class and saw an empty sit beside you- you who were practically burrying your whole face in the book. So without any hesitation, he walked and sat himself next to you.

You jumped out of the book and looked at him. “This seat is taken.”

“I know, by me.” he started pulling out his school supplies.

“No, I mean-”

“Why are you ignoring me?” he turned to you with all his body and kept a serious expression.

This time you were caught off guard, not knowing exactly what to say, so you stuttered. “I...I’m not ig...ignoring you.”

“Liar.” he said. “I just want to know because-”

“Can we not do this here?” you pleaded with your eyes and they had a powerful effect on him and as much he would subdue to your effect, he couldn’t.

“Why? So you could ignore me again?”

“Merlin, Malfoy!” you grabbed his wrist and pulled him out of the class.

You were furious. Furious that he was so persistant and pushy to make you do this and most of all, you were fuming because you have to deal with this.

“Go on now!” you threw his hand from your hand and that only caused him to grow redder from his rage. “What do you want to know? Why I am not interested in you?!”

“Why you treat me the way you do!? Why don’t you just give me the chance to-”

“Because you are a heartless bastard!” you shouted at him and his heart dropped into his stomach. “I’m not interested into dating, let alone caring for someone who loves violance and finds satisfaction from other people’s suffering! This morning you knocked a bunch of First years! Calling them filthy mudbloods!” you continued to shout, pointing your finger at him, completely blind to the tears that were coming up to the surface. “You’re cruel and evil little roach, who does nothing but bully other people and kiss ass to every professor! You’re whiny and a coward! And for you to believe that I would ever date a person like you- YOU?!” you scoffed, laughing. “In your dreams, Malfoy boy. And since you always talk about others not being in your league, maybe someone as pathethic and feeble like Pansy Parkinson will be just perfect for you.” you finished, crossing your arms over your chest and wanting to leave but his words stopped you.

“You’re right.”

He said and you stopped. Not to what he said but how he said it. His voice felt...hurt and as much as you were aiming for that, you didn’t want to hear it. Turning around you finally noticed the one thing that you were so oblivious due to your rage. The wound your roughness caused.

“You’re right. I am cruel and mean, evil, pathetic- honestly, I don’t know how many insults you exactly used but I am surprised you know so many of them. You call me heartless and all of that but you don’t even know me. Yes, I hurt other people but that’s what’s expected of me but you? I wouldn’t expect for you to sink as low as me.”

“I didn’t. I just called you out on the things you don’t see.” you said.

“No. I already knew all those stuff but you wouldn’t know that because you never gave me the chance to show you that besides all of those flaws, I might have a good side too. I was willing to look out the fact that you chose the popularity over the nice, kind and shy girl who welcomed you so warmly to your house. Margo, if I’m correct?”

You stood there in silence, your heart thumping in your chest. “How do you know about that?”

“Because believe it or not, Margo is a family friend who I never much associated with but had to due to the family connection. I know she’s fragile, I know she’s shy and socially-awkward and I know that you were the one who broke her.” he said meanwhile.

“I didn’t-”

“You broke her, (y/n). Admit it. You knew she was always getting you into embarrassing situations and always clinging to you like a puppy, which you hated. So you started spreading gossip around, just so you could get rid of her.”

“They stopped two days after, it was innocent.” you defended. You weren’t proud of that. You were a completely different person back then. You grew up since then.

“They stopped because I made them stop.” he growled, walking closer to you. “Like I said, Margo and I didn’t associate but had to. We were friends but she knew me better than you and better than anybody that I am a flawed man, who has to act the way I do because of my family. Never in all my Hogwarts years we exchanged words but the day she came running to me, bawling her eyes out from all the bullying you started! You don’t even know what people did to her when you spread stories about her the way you did! And you broke her! She’s not in school, she’s not anywhere to be found and that’s beccause YOU drove her away!”

You were quiet, ashamed but you still felt your pride get in the way of showing that. So you just made the situation worse. “You sound like you care.”

“I do. Back then I didn’t know who started the rumors but through years I found out and I didn’t know what to do because I fancied you and I denied you could ever do this but now? Now you proved you’re just as horrible as I am. Yes, I bully other people, yes, I boast, YES, I called them filthy mudbloods today but don’t for a moment think that you know me?! Don’t for a moment call me those names and insults when you don’t know where I’m coming from or how I’m treated! You don’t know anything about me! Nothing! And thanks to now, you just showed me why I should never care about you too because caring for a hypocrite like you... that would be just a waste of my time.” he started backing away but you weren’t going to let this slide away so easy.

“YOU CALL ME A HYPOCRITE! You don’t know me! You keep talking about how I don’t know you and keep calling you names when you do the same! YOU DO EXACTLY THE SAME!”

He laughed in the distance, turning around and walking slowly back to you and for a moment. For a small, short moment you saw how his body moved elegantly and relaxed, dragging his feet and swaying his hips. His shoulders were broad, his uniform was sharp, hair a bit messed up- a blonde strand falling in front of his forehead and his eyes... his eyes were blazing yours.

You felt yourself sweat from his energy; your palms got sweaty, your muscles stiffed up and you were frozen like a rock.

“I know exactly who you are. I know what you like, I know how you feel about certain things, I know who your dad is, since he works with mine and has been at my mansion for one, two-” he started counting on his long fingers, before dropping his hand, backing you against the wall and pressing his hands on it, so you and him? The two of you were just an inch away. “- too many times. He talked about you quite a lot. He’s proud but boasting a bit too much, meaning he’s not as proud as he pretends to be. So, I’d say I do know you more than you know because I put effort in getting to know people I fancy meanwhile you don’t even give a chance a person. “

“ I don’t give chances to people like you.” you growled, getting closer to him as his thin lips curve into a smile. He bit on his lower lip and looked down on yours, sending an unfamiliar wave of heat down your body. You didn’t know if he’s going to kiss you, which you hated to admit that you wanted him to, or... or...well that’s it.

“People like me?” he tilted his head to the side, grinning.

“Two-faced.” you spat out.

“Oh, honey, look in the mirror.” he laughed. “All friendly, all flirty, all nice and kind but in reality you break people just like you did with Margo.”

“Can you stop mentioning her?!” you start to grow irritated, staring at his piercing grey eyes but feeling a sudden urge to pull him closer. Yet you restrain yourself because it’s confusing and unclear....unfamilliar.

“Feeling guilty?”

“I don’t feel anything.”

“So, you’re the heartless one?” he kept teasing but you kept growing more and more frustrating.

“What? No! I-” you kept trying to find words but he was closing the space between the two of you and you were backed agains the wall, pressed on his chest and breathing heavily. The air was hot, you were sweating and feeling your breath come out uneven. Draco caught that into his attention and enlarged the amount of mischief in his eyes.

You couldn’t speak- hell, you barely even breathed. Then as you stared into his eyes his eyes changed, not in colour nor the shape. It was something inside that changed that made him back away and lower his head.

“I really thought you were worth it.” he looked up at you, your red stained cheeks and your parted lips, grabbing for an air. You kept looking at him, seeing a simper that didn’t reach his eyes and knowing you messed up.

But how could you mess up, knowing he deserved what you said?

“Guess, you’re just like the others.” he started backing away, giving you one last glance before disappearing into the distance.

You wanted to say something. You wanted to speak but your throat was dry and unable to provide any kind of sound. You took a hold of it, staring where he disappeared and knowing, deep inside, you knew. You broke him.

#Draco Malfoy #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy imagine #harry potter imagines #golden trio era #golden trio #harry potter imagine

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blushessence · 4 years ago

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LAGOM Cellus Sun Gel SPF 50 PA+++ Review

Wanting to try out new sunscreens is one of my favourite things when buying skincare, and Korean skincare is unmatched when it comes to sunscreens. Their advanced screening technology with new ingredients makes them, in my opinion, way ahead of the western market. So as I was browsing Skinsider, one of my favourite K-beauty stores, I came across this sun gel. I took one at the glowing reviews and added it to my basket immediately.

On the Skinsider website, this sunscreen is described as:

Providing “maximum UVB and UVA protection.”

Being “great for oily and combination skin types.”

“The incredibly lightweight texture provides matte finish and is very easy to apply. Your skin will absorb it immediately.”

“In addition, normal and dry skin types will enjoy it because Lagom Cellus Sun Gel SPF50 PA+++ nourishes skin with its natural herbal extracts and oils plus hydrating Aqualicia formula. The sun gel soothes and protects the skin. It prevents the ingredients from evaporation and destruction. Hence, moisture and active ingredients can be absorbed deep into the skin.”

Okay, let’s get into this!

The texture isn’t like a ‘typical’ sunscreen, it feels more like a lightweight, somewhat thin daytime moisturiser which is perfect for those with oily/combination skin types. There is a slightly strong citrus type scent to it due to it containing essential oils, but I’ll get to that soon.

My thoughts:

I’ve tried a lot of sunscreens and I always seem to come back to my trusty COSRX Aloe Soothing Sun Cream SPF 50 PA+++, but this LAGOM sun gel doesn’t have me reaching for my usual one anymore which is a nice surprise! The consistency feels more like a milky essence which I love because when I reapply it throughout the day, it doesn’t feel like it starts pilling up like it does when I reapply other sunscreens I use. This absorbs into my skin effortlessly, it does not leave a white cast and gives me a lovely glow with a satin-like finish, as opposed to the matte finish the description says it gives. It also gives me a really nice base for when I want to apply makeup over the top. However, after applying SPF I like to wait around 5 minutes before applying makeup to just ensure that the SPF has created an effective protective ‘shield’ over the places I’ve applied it to.

NOTE: SPF 50 PA+++ is the highest protection rating a sunscreen can have. As someone who suffers from hyperpigmentation, I don’t use sunscreens with anything lower than this as I want to protect my skin the best I can and get rid of my dark marks faster. Also, I apply (and reapply) quite a lot to keep up its effectiveness against UVA and UVB rays. I follow Jude Chao’s technique (IG: fiddysnails) of ‘measuring’ it on your 3 middle fingers (shown below) and then applying it across the face, neck and chest.

In her video she uses a cream puff to blend it into her skin which is a really good technique, and I have tried this technique a few times with sunscreens that are on the thicker side. However, for the majority of the sunscreens I use, including the LAGOM sun gel, I find that it’s light enough to blend in without the need for a puff.

This sunscreen has found its permanent place on my vanity table and will definitely be purchasing more than one when my current one runs out (which I’m sure will be fairly soon!). However, my only caveat with it is that it contains essential oils and alcohol, which may be a concern to those with sensitive skin. I would say that I also have quite reactive skin so I usually tend to stay away from products that contain alcohol and fragrance/essential oils, but I was pleasantly surprised! I did a patch test (always remember to patch test a product behind your ear when trying something new!!) and I had no adverse reaction to it and my skin has been okay with it since I started using it regularly.

EDIT: there have been studies conducted that demonstrate that denatured alcohol (ethanol) in skincare products doesn't actually damage your skin as previously thought. This is due to the small percentage that is used within skincare products and has been demonstrated that at least 97% of the ethanol in the product evaporates upon application. If you want to know more, Lab muffin did a really informative video and blog post about this!

So for now, this sunscreen is a 9/10 in my eyes but if LAGOM decided to reformulate it to have the same feel but without the essential oils, I wouldn’t hesitate to give it 10/10!

If you’ve tried this or have any thoughts about this, let me know!

INGREDIENTS: Water, Ethylhexyl Methoxycinnamate, Octocrylene, Alcohol Denat., Ethylhexyl Salicylate, Butyl Methoxydibenzoylmethane, Propanediol, Methyl Methacrylate Crosspolymer, Bis-Ethylhexyloxyphenol Methoxyphenyl Triazine, Methoxy PEG/PPG-25/4 Dimethicone, Bis-PEG/PPG-20/5 PEG/PPG-20/5 Dimethicone, Caprylic/Capric Triglyceride, Sodium Acrylate/Sodium Acryloyldimethyl Taurate Copolymer, Dimethicone, Isohexadecane, Acrylates/C10-30 Alkyl Acrylate Crosspolymer, Caprylyl Glycol, Citrus Aurantium Dulcis (Orange) Oil, Ethylhexylglycerin, Panthenol, Polysorbate 80, BHT, Sodium Hydroxide, 1,2-Hexanediol, Lavandula Angustifolia (Lavender) Oil, Sorbitan Oleate, Disodium EDTA, Geranium Maculatum Oil, Citrus Aurantium Bergamia (Bergamot) Fruit Oil, Santalum Album (Sandalwood) Oil, Rose Flower Oil, Chamomilla Recutita (Matricaria) Flower Oil, Styrax Benzoin Gum, Commiphora Myrrha Oil, Urea, Indole Acetic Acid, Hydrolyzed Vegetable Protein, Maltodextrin

#kbeauty #kbeauty review #korean skincare #skincare #skincare review #sunscreen #lagom

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yeetdam · 6 years ago

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Could you ship your mutuals with silverboys/treasure 13? I’m curious 🙀

smh i accidentally closed the tab before i could save it fml but anyway: instead of studying maths and after killing my body with a 45 min workout, i am here to answer this ask that was long overdue thank you anon for being so curious uwu!! also i apologize i might’ve got carried away skjdl and this is not proofread in any shape or form

@yoonbins x yoonbin is the couple that tries to keep it low but everyone knows that they’re a thing imo 💖 mini god kara i’m not trying to call you out but yoonbin would gladly accept that s***** from you anytime úwù skinship in public isn’t really their thing, but if bin is feeling bold, he’d secretly hold her hand under the desk klasjdklajs kara isn’t one to show her emotions a lot but it’s fine bc yoonbin is an attentive guy and just knows how smitten he is for her!!! not really the most romantic couple out there, but when it comes to banter? OOF nobody can beat them what a pure relationship (also, expect long cuddle sessions when it’s just the two of them teehee)

@byounggonsgf x byounggon is the power couple everyone on ygtb tumblr and their MUMS know of and approve of: first of all, visual wise?? GOD TIER. SUPERIOR. YOU WISH. we all know how much of a visual kweenie angel zeen is, and we all know how hot gon is (pls the entire fandom has a crush on him) and the two combined?? YOUR FAVS COULD NEVER (unless your favs are zeen and gon uwu) also, just one glance at zeen’s tags just show how much love she harbors for him and i imagine her to be the type to write stuff abt him in a seperate notebook and when gon finds out, he’ll go all out and arrange some romantic candlelight dinner or shit 💖 in other words, they’re the disgustingly sweet couple you’d see in romance anime uwu

@ggoncafe x byounggon is also a ship i advocate !!! he’d do anything to make ess smile and laugh; it’s one of his fav sights after all - especially that thing that ess does where she scrunches her nose whenever she laughs??? he is SOLD. WHIPPED. IN AWE. i feel like gon can be quite the romantic in his way and would write so many songs abt ess lskjdlkj aside of that, ess strikes me as the type to annoy the shit out of him just for fun LMAO - it’s nothing bad, imagine this: she’d text him in capslock and keyboard smashes just to garner his attention and then, he’d face time her and try to be fed up but in reality? he’s glad she did that? bc that gives him the perfect excuse to see her lkjsdj

say what you want; okay cool you think the earth is flat fine then but not thinking that @mashilove x byounggon is a cute ship? sis you’re abt to cATcH ThESe HaNDs - uyen radiates something akin to big mom energy: maybe it’s partly bc she’s just as old as gon but her tags to everyone just SCREAM soft protective nature 💖 also i feel like uyen, as great as she is, sometimes deals with huge insecurity issues and gon would try his best to lift up her spirits and convince her that she is a beautiful child of the angels the world doesn’t even deserve!!! we are talking abt gon dedicating 28398309 songs to her and cuddle attacks and soft shit oof

looking back i realize byounggon also has a mf power harem and to finish it off, i also think that @speckofglitter x byounggon is the couple you should be scared of. why scared? bc they’re gonna make you set your standards so impossibly high AND THATS THE TEA 💖 gon picking up tiyi after her lectures at university? every time when he can afford to? which is pretty much every second day? and if he has much free time before he’d make sure to buy some food for tiyi? it doesn’t help that he’s a soundcloud rapper of course everyone’s gonna have high standards! it doesn’t stop there tho; just imagine them trying some couple dances like ellen and Brian hnnngh

@junkyeu x junkyu is ! so ! pure !!!! junkyu would be so so smitten and so so proud of Linh and he’d take any opportunity to boast abt her. she’s so beautiful? he’d say that to every second stranger they pass by. she’s a multilingual queen? he’d tweet it out several times a day, post it on his snapchat, probably write it on a wall “LINH IS A MULTILINGUAL LEGEND YOUR S/O COULD NEVER 💖“ and so on. he is so damn supportive up to the point where it might be a little excessive to her but she still loves him dearly :’) the harshest thing she might do is prolly insult him lightly in any language he doesn’t understand LMAOOO

1/3 of the seunghun harem ship i support is @kimseunghoney x seunghun ! yet another couple that would flaunt that they’re together but guess what?? everyone is LIVING for it 💖 christina is such a soft fluffball who’s trying her best to get through her exams and seunghun being the supportive (yet needy) boyfriend he is, would partly distract her partly help her?? he’d be the type to randomly come over to her place with the reason of wanting to help her study bc ! good ! grades ! is ! what ! she ! wants ! but then five minutes later, he’d try to get her to take a break and then woo her to a nap bc she’s been working so hard uwu (also, the perfect timing for him to fill up his camera roll full of pics of christina saljdlk)

2/3 of the seunghun harem is @seunghunies x seunghun 💖 now with those two combined,,,, get ready for the skinship and disgustingly domestic and tooth rotten fluff between them uGh [edit: the latter got deleted WHY TUMBLR WHY SMH so starting here is the cont.] seunghun is the type to show off that vale is his up to the point where he might shove it up everyone and their mum's faces jskdk but it's full of love!!! Snapchat? Instagram? Everywhere — he's gonna say how much he loves vale during an ig live or in his story dedicated to vale and vale ONLY 💞🤧 also!!! Restaurant dates!!!! So many!!!! They'd go taste testing in the entire city !!!! And he'd take so many pics of her and the best thing abt the cute shit? Vale plays along!! (At least most of the time teehee) say he'd want her to pose for the camera? She'd gladly do it- unless she's feeling a little sneaky then she'd do anything to mess up the snapshot kajdjdjkdk we love banter 😜💓

3/3 of the harem is @seunghunn x seunghun uwu THE. SOFTEST. COUPLE. IN THE UNIVERSE. mashikyu doesn’t compare anyway, we’ve already established how much of a passionate lover hun is right?? and i peg seunghun the type to crave his s/o’s attention at any time possible so if you ever lay his eyes off him, he’d do anything to win your attention back! perhaps one might say that maddi cherishes her sleep more than our #1 furry king and if she’s particularly stressed, she’s heading straight to her bed and to the one-hour nap she desperately needs. depending on how hun is feeling, he might either a) play the big spoon and nap with her sdjlkjsa or b) be the whiny bitch he is and try to wake her up (ofc only if he’s 100% sure that she wouldnt mind as much as usual) 💖 in case he guessed wrong and woke her up while she’s pissed, he’d make up with some good homecooked food UGH

@moonxlika x hyunsuk is the badass couple who always hype one another up you don’t even KNOW. be it a competition or a game, you can bet that one is cheering for the other - unless they both participate, then it’d be a mixture of “good luck uwu” or “i’m gonna beat your ass just watch me” 💖 they’re the type to bond over their music taste and seriously lika and hyunsuk aren’t afraid to show that they’re a thing it’s so cute kljfl you know that some ppl get embarrassed when their s/o suddenly does a hoe drop or dresses really hot like with chokers or shit? then there are some ppl who get pissed / jealous / idk at least not embarrassed and shy when their s/o does that? neither of them fall into any of those types. say hyunsuk is suddenly out there with a choker and what do i know a mesh shirt? lika strikes me as someone who’d go yES BITCH THAT HOT DUDE RIGHT THERE IS MY BOYFRIEND SEE HIM and say lika pops of on the dance floor, hyunsuk would be like mY GIRLFRIEND HAS SOME MOVES Y’ALL

whereas lika x suk could be classified as one of the more hard couples on the spectrum, @hyunsukmyass x hyunsuk is the epitome of bubblegum and sugar and (perhaps little) spice (at least that’s what everyone thinks but sshhh) 💖 i feel like in public suk would try hard to have the image of being sim’s edgy boyfriend but little does he know that sim dishes out the truth to all of her friends HDSJKHSKJ like that one time suk admitted his wallet was suffering due to the bouquet of flowers he bought her when sim was feeling low? or the time where he put his pride and sanity aside and took care of her when she was sick even tho it was a given that he’d get infected too? everyone knows and whereas suk is HIGHkey embarrassed to a certain extent, he’d try to find something he can tease sim with!! and then… he finds it... cute shit sim writes abt suk…. or even worse… her fanfics abt celebrity xy and suk has a LOT of fun teasing her with it ksajdkljkl he’d never say anything negative but once in a while he’d go like “so,,, sim,,,, wanna recreate that one scene you wrote in fanfic xy?” or even “hey what do you think if i were a rocker but also super super good at school?” gET READY FOR THE BANTER AND LAUGHTER AND TICKLE FIGHTS THAT FOLLOW SUIT

#i had too much fun i apologize #tag! i'm it #here's to my lovely mewts #i tell you my beautiful moots #your bias would gladly get chased by a horde of lions for you 💖#also thank you anon for being curious saljlk

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e1ana · 5 years ago

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THA updates/character sheets

omg two posts in a day what is this shit

i just feel like i should give a heads up about THA and whats going on and shit. i wont be posting anything for it on A03 for a hooooot minute. like i said in the last post, i’ve been really dry when it comes to THA content. sorry if that bums you out or whatever, but i really need to take it easy with that book for a bit.

h o w e v e r

my brain just will not let me friggin rest. so, i decided to just do something that’s not really creative but also lets me feel some kind of relief. im gonna make character templates in the style of the BNHA fandom website (with a few exceptions/different thing). I wont make one for every single person, but ill make them for most of class 1-A and some villains.

there may also be a few introduced characters, so ig you'll get to meet them first!

the first one is my fave sparky queen, Emiko Kaminari!

(fair warning. its suuuuper long.)

BIOGRAPHICAL INFORMATION:

Name: Emiko Kaminari (Meaning: Emiko - blessing/kindness. Kaminari - thunder) Birthday: August 3rd Age: 15 Gender: Female (She/Her) Height: 4’11” or 149 cm Hair color: Blonde Eye Color: Yellow Zodiac Sign: Leo Quirk: Technokinesis

STATUS:

Status: Alive Occupation: Student Affiliation: UA High School

OVERVIEW

Emiko Kaminari is a Class 1-A student at UA High School.

Appearance:

Emiko has bright yellow hair cut in a short bob (a bit like if you smoothed out Denki’s hair). She has distinct bangs that have two long side pieces and several short pieces across her forehead, Her eyes are yellow and flatter on top and rounder at the bottom with distinctly long and straight lashes. She has a tiny birthmark (just larger than a freckle) under her left eye. She inherited her mother’s ear shape, but she can’t use them like her mom can (they can’t extend/plug into anything). She is incredibly short despite her relatively tall dad, and hopes to grow one day. She has a relatively small chest and thin waist, giving her a lanky but athletic body. Her legs are just slightly too long for her body, adding to her sinewy appearance.

She isn’t a fan of uniform at all, so she only wears it to classes. She alternates between wearing the pants and skirts. When she wears the pants, she wears them high waisted and tucked in. She also takes off her overcoat often (in both outfits), just carrying around and putting it on when she gets yelled at.

Her prototype hero costume pays homage to her dad and mom, but is mostly her own. She wears a black windbreaker jacket with deceptively deep pockets. This also doubles as a shock resistant sheet. Under this, she wears a black sports bra and tight-ish pants with like a MILLION pockets. She’s a slut for functional fashion! She wears black platform sneakers (think FILAs, but not brand name hfjwfkfbwb). They lace up a bit like hiking boots, but the hooks are removable devices.

Personality:

Emiko is super spunky! She’s cheerful and goofy, but not sugary sweet. She has some edge to her, but she’s a very talkative and open person. She’s absolutely obsessed with edgy memes/vines/ ANYTHING internet. She likes to make jokes often, which can sometimes get her into a bit of trouble. She’s very witty and has a sharp tongue, but that’s often just used for humor. She likes to make friends with as many people as possible, but she has no problem getting downright mean with people who mess with her. Her BIGGEST hate is being looked down on. If you underestimate her… look out. Generally, she’s a very friendly person though.

People often see Emiko for exactly what she is because she’s such an open book. Even quiet and broody people like to hang around and socialize with her. If anything, people see her as far more bubbly, since she doesn't like to bust out the mean Emiko.

ABILITIES:

Overall abilities:

She doesn’t have a designated fighting style, but she loves to dart and jump around. She’s able to move pretty fast and often jumps around her opponents to confuse them. She also has damn near perfect aim, so this can be used for striking different pressure points.

Since her quirk can’t really be deployed well without technology, she uses several support items to help her. With her Buttons, she can send massive shock waves of electricity wherever they land (including people). She can also communicate with people even if she’s the only one with a communications device. She uses the electricity from her devices to immobilize her targets or generally just fuck them up. She can also manipulate electricity as long as its expelled from a device.

Emiko has SO many support items:

‘Buttons’ - basically tiny robots with no function. It’s basically just a button with an electric current. She can use them as a distraction or something of course. But Emiko can use her quirk to stick them to people or herself and deploy insane amounts of electricity. Combine that with her precise aim and you’ve got a stun gun that can target specific areas of the body AND control the output of electricity.

TeleCom - This device works kind of like an AirPod but it doesn’t need bluetooth. Its attached just under her ear. It allows her to use her quirk to send messages to her allied (or foes!)

FingerGuns - Just like her dad, Emiko is one funny motherfucker. With these gloves, she can expel the electricity from the devices in whichever direction she points her fingers.

Goggles - These high tech goggles and quickly give and receive information about her allies and opponents. She can use them if she doesn’t know anything about her team/enemy and gather info. Like GoogleGlass but WAY better.

Quirk:

Emiko’s quirk Technokinesis pretty much gives her the ability to do nearly anything with an electronic device. She can use it to hack whatever device it is, move things around, explode them, or simply use the interface hands free. She can control many devices at once (probably like up to 30 as of right now). As far as explosion goes, it's mostly just electric sparks with a little heat, but obviously there’s damage from any debris (especially if its come in contact with the sparks). Her quirk has a pretty severe drawback though. Emiko suffers drowsiness and decreased cognitive functions with extended regular use of her quirk (like Denki but like 10x less stupid). She also suffers from random severe seizures, but that doesn’t happen too often.

Super Moves:

ButtonBlast: Emiko throws a hand full of buttons in a random direction and sticks them to whatever they land on. She then sends them into a massive electrical explosion, ranging from 100 volts to 100,000 volts (will get stronger with training/time!). This is pretty much enough to fry the brain of any unlucky person to get tackled by one of these. It also blows out any device in range, leaving only the ones she controls in use.

BrainFry: Emiko throws a single button with pinpoint accuracy, landing it at her target’s weak points or exposed areas, even while they move. She delivers a quick but hearty shock, rendering her opponent immobile and unable to function.

TeleCom Confusion: Emiko uses her power of music and stupid puns and her quirk together. She confuses her opponents with rambling on and on about someone. She can also blast music directly into their ears and confuse them.

TechnoScream: Emiko + Madosha use their powers together. While Emiko has on noise canceling headphones, Screaming Shadow yells directly into her TeleCom. Emiko then sends this pitch directly into the heads of her opponents and lets it take effect.

STATS

Power: 4/5 Speed: 4/5 Technique: 3/5 Intelligence: 3/5 Cooperativeness: 4/5 Edgy Meme Knowledge: 6/6

Equipment:

Buttons: These bad boys are tiny, but they pack a punch! She has two sizes - one about the size of a dime and some smaller than that. They’re basically constantly short circuiting devices. Emiko can deploy these at any time, releasing high voltage bursts of electricity or explode them. They’re made of a high grade copper and aluminum alloy. They’re thick but hollow with a simple incomplete circuit on the inside.

TeleCom: ...literally just google how AirPods work, and take away the bad parts. Its essentially an AirPod, but it's a flat disk with a strong adhesive on one side.

FingerGuns: The same general workings as the Buttons, but they don't detach. They’re nestled in the fingers of her gloves and activated when she makes a finger gun symbol.

Battles/Events:

Lunchroom Attack

STUDENTS vs villains

Canon ‘Fun’ Facts:

She frequently bugs her friends phones and plants memes in their important documents.

She has pretty damn bad ADHD.

She once dropped her meds in front of Aizawa and asked if he wanted to ‘pop a dirty blue pillie.’ She had two days of detention for that one.

Definitely has a crush on someone in her class.

Her best friend is a class 1-B student named Hansuke Amaiko. She’s known him since they were basically babies

#my oc #my oc character #emiko kaminari #bnha #tha #e1ana #this took me so long #like oh my god #welp i did it #e1ana's oc

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kirakirababe · 7 years ago

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iridescent heaven tea

HELLO SORRY FOR THE INEXCUSABLY LONG WAIT BUT I AM HERE…. NOW

iridescent: what is your skincare routine? IM BAD I DONT HAVE ONE!! DRINK WATER AND EAT LESS SWEETS!! (any and all care products INCLUDING MOISTURIZER make me break out i am here to suffer but for what reasoN)

heaven: favorite color combinations? OOOO IF WE’RE TALKING OPPOSING COLORS LIKE RED/GREEN MY FAVE WOULD BE ORANGE/BLUE HANDS DOWN but otherwise? i like red/orange/yellow (theyre some of my fave colors) … uh gee on the spot ?? idk man my dA acc (eclairdusk)’s favorites show? what color combos i like a lot/am visually attracted to ig sorry this was a messy answer lmao

tea: favorite films?HANDS DOWN ‘LOST BOYS’ IS MY FAVORITE ITS SO FUNNY I LOVE IT i also love a lot of ghibli films!! i wanna see all of them one day, im almost there!! i also like ? movies i watched a LOT as a kid, like ‘the dark crystal’ and ‘angus, thongs, and perfect snogging’ bc i have the entire dialogues Memorized from when i was 9 ghgjhg‘coraline’ is also a banger!! off the top of my head i cant think of much else rn lmao , hel p

Thank you for the ask, though!!

#kkb answers!

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namisashimi · 5 years ago

Text

369: ‘Suffering is always by my side.’

source. profile by danneergou (丹尼二狗) for pentaq. images by yan wendi (梁文迪) and yicun (一村).

translator. in a rare moment of free time, i had the chance to watch IG vs. TES in the LPL regional finals; there was something so quintessentially LPL and yet so captivating about a team of rookies taking on the reigning world champions and the chaos that ensued. pentaq has always written these complex, sympathetic and yet strangely bittersweet portraits of LPL players and their struggles in pursuit of a dream, and this one is no different. i hope you’ll enjoy this one.

369 made a motion like climbing a mountain. "I don't know. But I will always be climbing, and I will always be moving forward."

What does the LPL stage mean to a professional player? Only just eighteen, 369 has yet to find time to think about this. All he knows is that ever since he joined TOP's LPL team last November, his life has been like riding a bullet train. Those things he once dared not even imagine - one by one, they have become reality.

"One day, I will be a professional player," 369 once boasted to his classmates; at the time, he was still a student and his account 菜鸟 (t/n: 'noob') was only Gold. Many years later, when he found himself standing on the Demacia Cup stage for the first time, looking at the tide of people below him, letting the audience's cheers for their opponent IG crash over him, "If these people were cheering for us, wouldn't that be even better?"

To listen to those cheers, he has already given up much. He said goodbye to his best friend, took on more stress and frustration, and faced his own inner demons head-on. Throughout this process, suffering has been his constant companion.

"When you play professionally, in a hundred days, maybe ninety-nine of them will be losses. And only in an hour of that one remaining day will you taste success." Little P, a coach for the academy team who watched 369's journey from the LDL to the LPL, felt that this was a road every player must walk. "All kinds of negative feedback are entangled with a player's career. For many of them, even up until they retire, they will have no way to understand this."

To an outsider, he might already seem gifted with extraordinary luck - he only spent one season on the academy team before being promoted to the main team. In the spring split, he was already a starting player; they finished third in the regular season, fourth in playoffs, and earned the chance to represent LPL at Rift Rivals. At only eighteen, this boy already had a chance that could change his life - but he had no time to celebrate; he had to hurry to the next battlefield.

"If I think about it, I've lived eighteen years. All the previous years were plain and faint; it seems only this one has a spark of light."

one. giving up, holding on.

No matter what, 369 has always said what he thought - even if, in that moment, it felt like everyone else was standing against him.

This was how it seemed in July 2018, the first time Little P saw him. At the time, Little P was the assistant coach for TOP's main team. Once, he and the team visited their academy team KOF to do a review of one of KOF's games.

During their analysis, this kid who always had something to say came to his attention. "To be honest, his analysis of the game was correct, but whether the team should prioritize top lane or bot lane was a stylistic decision, not one with a right or wrong choice. They were not trying to solve a problem, but rather having a debate."

What Little P remembered most from that day was how 369 kept asking him, "P Bro, do you also think this is correct? Do you agree with this?" While he noticed his strong desire to win, Little P also felt that he "relied too much on what others thought of him."

A little while later, Little P was transferred from the main team to KOF, and thus became 369's in-game mentor. But the first to have noticed 369 was Guo Hao, the TOP manager who instigated this transfer.

In April 2018, even as the main team played against Snake in Chongqing, Guo Hao elected to go to the LDL student and watch KOF. Because some impressive plays caught his eye, this player who went by 369 came to his attention. "The impression he gave me was someone with meticulous mechanics, who had guts and didn't panic. Even when left with a sliver of health, he would still use his positioning to juke skills." At that time, Guo Hao thought - this kid might be it.

Back then, 369 had only just joined KOF. Born in 2001, he grew up in Henan with his grandmother and little sister. His family and childhood experiences made 369 more independent, yet also more vulnerable to social influences. In the third year of middle school, he found he couldn't keep up with his studies, so he wanted to go to a vocational school. He thought to himself, "This way, at least I'll have some skills to support myself with." Afterwards, he went into a four-year automobile repair program, which included a guaranteed job assignment after graduation.

Attending vocational school really just meant he was playing League of Legends in a new location; he "felt that [he] couldn't see any hope." If he had followed this path, perhaps in four years he really would've become an auto mechanic.

Once, another player added him as a friend and told him that if he changed his ID to a certain name and played every day, they would pay him 30RMB a day. 369 was delighted to hear that League of Legends could earn him money and pay for more of his netcafe fees. "I had always felt quite disappointed in myself growing up, but playing this game, I suddenly had a reason to feel proud." At that time, he was around Diamond on Ionia.

Before he joined KOF, 369 had been a part of two different academy teams. One was LGD; the other was VG. Both experiences ended with little gained. While he as at LGD, he felt that "the team's attitude was very negative at the time," and after losing to ME in Hero of Cities (t/n: qualification tournament for LDL), he "didn't want to play any more." As for the half year he spent at VG, he once again used the term "couldn't see any hope" to describe it.

Always unable to see hope, always choosing to leave, and always reluctantly returning - this summarized the beginning of 369's career. After leaving VG at the end of 2017, he suddenly realized that he had been on the road to becoming a professional player for a year and a half, yet he had nothing to show for it. He felt that in that time, he "hadn't worked hard enough, wasn't determined enough."

So when he joined KOF, he gave himself two objectives. The first was very difficult - in July, before his birthday, he would reach Challenger; the second was even more so - to make it to LPL. At the time, 369 had better teams to choose from, but KOF's then-manager told him, "As long as you have the strength, then you will have opportunities." In the end, he chose to remain with KOF.

When he joined the team in April, 369 was remarkably hard-working and self-disciplined. He would get up every day at eight or nine in the morning, and play until one or two the next day. "Every time I lost, I would start looking for my own mistakes instead of being stubborn." By June, 369 had successfully made his way to KR Challenger, accomplishing his first goal. After reaching Challenger, he didn't play at first for fear he'd drop back down, but under his coach's encouragement, he broke into the top 50.

As the 2018 LDL season began, 369 was in perfect form. Combined with good results in scrims, he was full of confidence.

On June 29, in their first match, KOF lost 0:2 to SHA. On July 1, KOF once again lost to ME. On July 14, even after adjusting their team, KOF once again lost 0:2 to VTG. What followed was only another string of losses. Only after a month had passed did KOF finally earn their first best-of-3 victory. In the fourteen games of the summer season, KOF only won three matches.

In their first loss, what left the greatest impression on their ADC Photic was how after they left the stage, 369 tore off his glasses and squatted on the ground, not saying a thing.

As the season progressed, the pain of losing grew greater and greater, and 369's solo queue rank dropped from Challenger back to Diamond I. Once again, 369 almost gave up. As the summer season grew to a close, 369 and Photic returned to the base after one of their games and went upstairs to their room. The lights were off, and in the abject darkness, 369 called out Photic's name and asked him what he should do. As Photic was momentarily stunned, he continued, saying that nothing would keep him going, and he wondered if he should just retire and do something else.

"Are you stupid? There must be something wrong with your head." That night, Photic sat 369 down and ruthlessly poured chicken soup into his soul.

In the end, the person who truly changed 369 was their manager, Guo Hao. On August 25, Guo Hao and the TOP team arrived ahead of time to prepare to face Snake in Chongqing. Before their match, the main team used the second floor of KOF's building to practice. Meanwhile, the academy team gathered on the first floor, and Guo Hao had a simple chat with them about their plans for the future.

Guo Hao's words were very direct. He said to the entire academy team, "If any of you want to play in LDL next season, if any of you just want this salary, or if any of you think you should receive a bonus just for doing well in LDL, then you are not suited to be a part of our team." Then, he pointed at the second floor, where the main team were practicing. "Your goal is to defeat them, to get them kicked. After defeating them, then defeat the people they couldn't defeat. If any of you don't have this goal, then talk to me. You can leave the team now."

As he said that, 369 was sitting in the spot closest to Guo Hao. When he finished, tears were already in 369's eyes. "Those words must've hit home with him. Guo Hao had said some things he had always believed, but never dared to say himself," Little P recollected about those events, which he was also present for. Seeing 369's strong reaction to his words, Guo Hao invited him out of the building to have a one-on-one chat. What left the strongest impression on Guo Hao was that the moment 369 left the building, he hit the ground and started to cry again.

"At the time, I asked him what was going on. He said that previously, everyone would always say, Bai Hao (t/n: short form of 369's name, Bai Jiahao), you play so well. Next season, you'll definitely be on the main team. They all thought he could make it, and he even had this hope. But throughout this entire split, he's performed exceptionally poorly, he hasn't been able to climb in soloq, he hasn't even been able to learn new champions. So he felt he already had no chance."

In that moment, Guo Hao saw this child in his most vulnerable moment. He thought to himself about how moments ago, this person had been in tears at his very words, and he felt like this attitude "couldn't be faked." So Guo Hao chose to say something to 369 which, in retrospect, he realized were quite extreme words.

"If in this academy team, even you cannot go to LPL, then no one can."

two. friends, partings.

In the middle of 2017, a Jiangxi youth who'd made it to Masters on Summoner's Rift received an invitation to try out at OMG's headquarters. His father, who worked far away in Zhejiang, was worried, so he accompanied his son to Shanghai. The first time he saw the way the esports club looked in real life, the youth thought, "So cool."

The two weeks of his tryout at OMG passed quickly. Apart from his regular ranked games, he played eight scrims, losing more than he won. On the final day, one of the staff members told him to return home and wait for further instructions. At the time, he didn't realize this was a polite way of rejecting him. After he went home, his father showed him a conversation with the team, where they suggested that perhaps he should finish high school first. That night, he lay on his bed sadly, thinking to himself - perhaps it was better to work hard and study instead of thinking about this.

In the end, he still didn't "come to his senses." In the following year, as his rank grew better and better, while studying he secretly prepared his resume behind his parents' backs and sent it to the various large esports organizations.

It was only in March 2018 that the boy finally got his chance - his resume came to the attention of team manager for KOF. His mother and grandmother were firmly against interrupting his studies, but in the end, they were convinced by his father. His father, who was still working in a distant location, told him over WeChat that since he had chosen this path, he must keep to it and not give up halfway.

At the end of March, this boy came from Jiangxi to Chongqing and thus, officially began his professional career. A few days after he arrived, a plump little guy showed up at the organization. His first impression of the newcomer was that he was "straightforward." Since he was a newcomer as well, he was a little shy, but the other boy was exceptionally enthusiastic and greeted everyone. Later on, the two of them would sit next to each other.

This youth was Photic, and this late-arriving little plump guy was 369. In the following days, the two would become each other's best friends.

from left to right - photic, guo hao, knight9, and 369.

"At school, friendship is commonplace, but for professional players who have entered society, it is far too precious. Some players only treat each other as colleagues, while others think of it as just playing together, so there's no way to really become friends." In Little P's eyes, the way Photic and 369's personalities complemented each other allowed them to become friends. "Professional play isn't just five people playing in a five-stack together; it's five brothers-in-arms living together. If under these circumstances, you cannot find a connection with people, then it must be very lonely."

Friendship between boys often begins with rivalry - comparing their scores, comparing their records, comparing even the time they woke up. Every time 369 made a particularly stellar play, he'd ask Photic, "Isn't that impressive?" Photic might agree, but he would always respond, "Anyone can do that as long as they have hands."

Of course, they were also companions. The summer of 2018, Chongqing was so hot that "even wearing t-shirts and shorts, it was still unbearable." Every day, after they finished their practice at 5:30PM, Photic and 369 would always go to the nearby store to buy cold refreshments. The trip wasn't particularly long, and so as they walked, they would talk about their games and their lives, and then with 3RMB ice creams hanging from their mouths, they would return to continue practicing. When they finished practicing at midnight, the two of them would walk back to their room together. Before they slept, they would chat a little more; as for what they talked about, it didn't even matter to them.

That season of the LDL, KOF didn't perform particularly well. For these newcomers to the professional scene, facing the stress of a losing streak, those 3RMB ice creams and their nighttime boasts became one of their few good memories.

On September 2, KOF finished their last match in Chongqing. Photic and 369's first LDL season clocked in at 3-11, second from last in their region. After the regular season, the organization gave the players some time off; the main team got two months while the academy team got one and a half.

Before their vacation, 369 asked Photic if he were going home. Photic said he would not - he wanted to use the break to practice a little more, play a little better. At the time, he had never been Challenger in KR solo queue, and he set that as his goal. When their vacation began, 369 returned to Henan, and Photic remained at the headquarters. "I felt that if I went back for these two months, then perhaps I might disappear entirely."

He didn't expect that a few days later, 369 would suddenly message him on WeChat and tell him that he was coming back. "At that time, I was really lost. After thinking hard at home for a few days, a few things suddenly became clear to me. I wanted to come back and do them immediately." After he rushed back to the gaming house overnight, 369 spent his vacation practicing with Photic. After waking up at noon, they would train into the early morning; they'd play a few other games and then sleep. The next day, they'd start it all over again. Since there was no housekeeper to cook for them, they ordered take-out every day.

Putting aside everything to focus on the game for a month was practically a formative experience for these two teenagers. During that time, Photic often snuck peeks at 369's rank, trying to judge what the other's skill was like in the end. "He would never peek at mine, because I didn't have as much LP as he did." After half a month, Photic was still a few hundred LP away from Challenger, while 369 had brought himself back from Diamond I to Challenger.

Since a few staff members were still working during the holiday, their coach Little P learned about what was going on. When the vacation ended and they were organizing the team, the manager Guo Hao received a message Little P sent him of 369's solo queue rank - 700LP Challenger. He looked at the attachment and replied to Little P: "How about we let him come up?"

In November 2018, 369 officially received a training invitation from the main team; he had finally accomplished the second goal he'd set when he joined KOF. The day he left, he woke up early to pack his bags, then boarded a plane from Chongqing to Shanghai. On the afternoon of that same day, Photic woke up and looked at the bunk below him. His friend's bed was still there, but the keyboard and mouse on the practice desk had vanished. In that moment, he truly knew that 369 had left.

A few days ago, 369 had told him that he would be going to the main team, but Photic had thought it a joke, that it was just a lie for himself. When he realized all of this was reality, he could not stop himself from crying in front of his good friend.

"I am very happy you can play there, but right now, I really cannot be happy."

three. pain, change.

For 369 to go the main team, Photic's inner thoughts were in turmoil.

On one hand, he felt forlorn and lonely; he missed having a friend to talk to every night before bed. On the other hand, when he saw 369's excellent performance in the 2018 NEST tournament, he felt that he "had to play better in order to meet with him again." According to coach Little P's observations, after 369 left, Photic became much more focused.

On the other side, after coming to Shanghai and becoming a part of the main team, 369 was now experiencing something completely different. When he first arrived at the gaming house, Guo Wei assigned 369 and midlaner Knight9 to the same room, hoping that 369 would pick up on Knight9's focus and determination to improve.

Soon after, the "placement test" arrived. When the team attended the end-of-year 2018 NEST and Demacia Cup, 369 suddenly discovered that the teammates surrounding him were much stronger than he'd had before. He practically "lay down and got carried," and without even knowing how, he put up a good scoreline.

A greater stage brought more fans and more attention, and 369 began to secretly use Weibo to upvote the comments saying he performed well. One thing led to another, and when Guo Hao found out about it, he practically laughed until he cried. Later, he and 369 talked, and the other said, a little embarrassed, "Hao Bro, I might be a little overconfident. If you see me being too proud of myself again, please tell me."

Since they were in contact with the main team, after 369 left, the academy coach Little P would often tell Photic, who was still at KOF, what was happening to his friend. In the 2019 spring season, Little P told Photic, "369 cries quite often there." Near playoffs, Little P told him, "Recently, 369 has gone mental boom."

"That kind of mental boom was the beginning of suffering," 369 reminisced. From before the spring playoffs, to playing IG there, to once again meeting IG in the summer split, to being benched at Rift Rivals, to finally being benched against LGD in the regular season - 369 traced such a path. "If I said that perhaps there were twenty things that caused me pain this year, then maybe seventeen of them were in this timeframe." Later, because he'd dwell on the mistakes he made because of his despondent mental state, he couldn't sleep at night; he'd go to bed at 2AM and perhaps only fall asleep at 4AM. "Useless." He used this kind of language to describe himself.

From when he officially joined the main team to after the spring season, 369 and manager Guo Hao had more time to talk. They often chatted whenever they had time, and once they got started, they could go on for a few hours. From his chats with 369, Guo Hao got the impression that this child was rather "lonely."

"This kind of 'loneliness' doesn't mean that others weren't treating him well, but rather that he - how to put it - that he didn't entirely consider himself part of the team." Guo Hao recalled that once when they were talking, he told him two lines from On Chao Cuo. (t/n: a mildly famous text by Song dynasty statesman Su Shi.) The first was, "From ancient times until now, all those who have accomplished great things had not only talent, but also an unbreakable will." The second was, "Those would would call themselves gentlemen, who seek extraordinary success, must not think too much of themselves." These two lines and their meanings were the principles Guo Hao wanted 369 to realize.

The academy coach Little P had similar thoughts. After getting to know him, he realized that when 369 made some decisions, he would sometimes unconsciously try to protect himself. "When he was in the LDL, there was a period of time when he dropped from Challenger to Diamond I. Then, he told me he didn't want to play, because he was afraid that he would show unfavorable results on stage."

From despondence to pain, and the ensuing decline of his condition - this all reflected in his scorelines. In the spring playoffs match against IG, 369 played two matches before being switched out. "It was as if the barrels had exploded."

At Rift Rivals, however, 369 faced one of LCK's best toplaners, Nuguri. He had the advantage in the laning phase but could not capitalize on it once teamfighting broke out. Nuguri was an opponent he had always wanted to surpass, but during the spring split, Guo Hao had used Nuguri as an example to bring up a question: if Nuguri were so good, then why was their other toplaner, Flame, given the chance to play and even win?

After playing DWG and finishing the day's matches, their head coach BSYY returned to the scrim room to decide who would play the next today. In that night's scrims, the toplane player was Moyu - and without scrims, there were no games to play.

To help the main team prepare for Rift Rivals, Little P was transferred from KOF to the frontlines in Seoul. The day 369 was benched, Little P sat with him and watched all the games. What he remembered most from that day was that once, 369 patted him on the shoulder, said "P Bro!" and then sighed deeply.

"Honestly, sometimes you can't blame the players. He made it this far by doing things this way, so if you want him to change right away, that's practically impossible. You have to slowly find that balance. I think through this process, he can replace some parts of himself that aren't so good, and thus become a more excellent person and learn what it means to truly be a team." Seeing how 369 sighed to himself, Little P didn't offer him too much comfort, but simply told him, "Don't worry. This experience will be very valuable. But next time, if there's another chance, you must take it."

After Rift Rivals, Little P went back to KOF to continue his work with the academy team, but he continued to observe 369's LPL games. In the following games in the summer split, when he saw 369 choose counterpicks and choose strategies that would not put undue stress on his teammates, he felt very pleased.

"People have to experience things to learn." 369 didn't regret what he went through to gain this experience. "Even if I don't regret what happened, it still feels like a pity. Because I didn't do well, we didn't go further. If I had played better, perhaps we had a chance to make it to the finals."

four. epilogue.

After the new year, TOP's academy team moved to Shanghai; they were now in the same district as the main team, only five minutes away. Starting from when they moved until now, 369 of the main team and Photic of the academy team have met seven or eight times. The two of them go out for dinner and watch movies; each time, it's always 369 who takes the initiative to invite Photic. "To players on the academy team, the main team is something almost sacred," coach Little P said.

Guo Hao still talks with 369 from time to time, but now he more often takes the role of listener. Since he was a little overly strict with 369 before and noticed he was starting to evade questions, Guo Hao chose to take a different approach and allow the other to speak more.

Back to 369 - the last time I saw him, he seemed very calm, especially when talking about those things he'd experienced this past year that he wasn't entirely satisfied with. "If you asked me how I felt a year ago, maybe I would've had a lot to say, but now, after going through so much, it almost seems like none of that has left a serious impression on him." To him, 2019 can best be described as 'full;' it's as if even before the wounds from the previous fight have healed or he had a chance to look back, he found himself thrust into yet another battlefield.

And so it goes for most professional players. As Little P put it, those are the "negative feedback loops that follow their entire career." "Some things never really leave you; they will always accompany you, but you must hope you will not be affected by them. So it all depends on if you have a way to face them, if you have a way to become friends with yourself."

Did 369 find that? Perhaps he did; perhaps he is still on the road to doing so. When asked how he sees the things he experienced, he said they were "very interesting." "It's like if you talk about something sad that happened to you during school now, you will feel like it's very interesting. That pain no longer seems as deep as it once was."

And when asked how he felt now, he made a motion like climbing a mountain. "I don't know. But I will always be climbing, and I will always be moving forward."

#league of legends #source: pentaq #tes #i always feel that lpl rookies rarely get recognition #partially because there's so many of them and many of them don't make it in the end #and partially because there's so little information out there about them #so i'm really really glad pentaq writes these pieces so we can learn more #no tragic ldl tale will get me to displace cool in my heart though

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