#he's a very loving evil boyfriend
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When your Big-bad-bf patron wants to cuddle but he strategically fails to mention which form he wants to do it in.
Miriam belongs to @owlcatchyoul8r
#Atlas#myg/spirit#myg#spirit#Miriam#She's an acrobat in a circus#and a brand new warlock thanks to Atlas#he's a very loving evil boyfriend#who says a lot of dumb shit because he's a great big red flag#the finder and the leviathan#tales of alor
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hey girl your boyfriend is leaking blue goo everywhere. yeah okay just wanted to make sure you knew.
#my art#fanart#the guy who didn't like musicals#tgwdlm#emma perkins#paul matthews#paulkins#infected paul#infected!paul#starkid#team starkid#hatchetfield#hatchetverse#i know paul doesnt wear a brown suit but i think drawing him in one is funny#i fell down an infected paul rabbithole recently so theyve been on the mind#what if ur boyfriend who u met like 3 days ago got infected and absorbed into an evil musical hivemind. but he still loves you#anyways. drew this very quickly as a warmup and to get it out of my system#but i think it turned out cute <3
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this happens in the columbo world and not the magic lupin world where physics dont matter and lupin probably breaks all the bones in his twiggy body to slide out the prison window bars 😢 (original by @/hausofdecline on twitter)
#ur supposed to draw this when ur sad. ill be damned it did stop me from bein sad#sorry zenigata you have to keep your boyfriend within the lupinverse#he cannot exist anywhere else but the looney tunes world#zenigata#columbo#uncle columbo are they really gonna put my boyfriend on trial. hes just a small silly viciously evil egotistical criminal#he has done all those things and some even more unsavory stuff but also theres sumthin very importsnt u gotta kno about him. i love him#columbo : nephew we gotta follow the law at some point i mean you shouldnt have brought him for the holidays#doodle#nobody cares but i tried to make peter falks eye handicap ? issue ? more aparent out of respect
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Goldie: Be a better person!!
Scrooge: Why?!
Goldie: Because someone in this relationship need to have morals, and it sure as fuck ain’t gonna be me, sweetheart!!
#balance it may not seem important to her#but Goldie wants to be able to outweigh any of her evil by being like#“well my boyfriend is dogooder soo I’m gonna continue to commit this heinous crime”#it’s how she sleeps at night :)#(not really she did evil back when Scrooge was doing and she still slept fine on a much nicer bed than him might she add)#but also#they’re actually such chaos#and that’s why they need each other to be like this#Scrooge has to uphold a relatively moral profile otherwise he can’t get up on his high horse in arguments with Goldie#and he so very loves his high horse#Goldie hates it#however it does mean she can do whatever and it’s ahh Goldie what’s she like#when expectations are lower than low your girl can as she pleases#goldie o'gilt#scrooge mcduck#ducktales#scroldie#incorrect quotes
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Why is everyone in Fallout 3 extremely hot
#I’m not going to live-blog Fallout 3 since I’ve had a LARGE amount of the game spoiled for me.#¯\_(ツ)_/¯ So I feel like that defeats the purpose of a live-blogging.#BUT GOOD LORD IF THERE’S ONE THING THE FALLOUT SERIES KNOWS HOW TO DO IT’S MAKE HOT MEN!!!!!!!#Mister Burke becoming a stuttering mess because I called him lover was so attractive.#THE WAY HE DID A 180 ON HIS EVIL PLANS LMAO!!!!#ALSO BUG IF YOU’RE READING THIS I MET YOUR BOYFRIEND GOB!!!!!#Gob’s design is *chef kiss* WOOF WOOF BARK BARK!!!#Great taste as usual!!! ALSO I FEEL SO BAD FOR HIM!!!!!!#Once I figure out how to do it without getting caught I’m going to kill Moriarty 🫡!!!!!#I’ve heard there’s a lot of ghouls in Fallout 3 so I’m VERY excited to meet them. Especially fan favorite Charon.#I LOVE BEAUTIFUL MEN!!!!!!!!!#Butch was a bully but hearing how happy he was I saved his mom was very cute.#ALSO HE GAVE ME HIS JACKET AS A THANK YOU!!!! AND LIED WHEN THE GUARDS ASKED IF THEY HAD SEEN ME!!!!!!#⭐️ Not as big of a jerk as you could’ve been ⭐️#MaddyPlaysFallout3#Fallout 3#If I had to rank them (off my own personal taste) it’d be 1. Mister Burke 2. Gob 3. Butch.
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RIP Krakoa 🌹 I can’t lie I’ve been kinda behind since midway through Fall of X I’m gonna catch up before my first SDCC this summer but I hear Vulcan didn’t see much action anyway. Anyway my hand slipped and I found myself looking into the eyes of my canonically psychotic son the best Summers brother who’s never done anything wrong in his entire life, (he’s done lotsa wrong things but I love him more for it)
#canonically psychotic = he canonically has psychosis. (not in the ableist way in that hes evil. which he is. lemme enjoy problematic rep)#Gabriel Summers#art by seaweed#words by seaweed#X-Men Red#the Gabriel hate during the Krakoa era pffffft. was 100% from ppl who didnt read the Rise and Fall of the Shi'ar Empire#“he attacked Storm” hes also a genocidal dictator who tortures ppl for catharsis. drunkenly coming at Ororo is the least bad thing he did#“he's a douche” mother of all understatements. now get this man back w his boyfriend who he forced to be his best man under pain of death#Gabriel fans LOVE that Ororo beat his ass. he deserved it. it was a fake discourse made up by a certain segment of goddess!Ororo fans#I say as an Ororo fan! Shes my fav A-list x-man🥰 yes Gabe was at a mental low but Ororo didnt know that. that was Scott's responsibility.#psychotic Emperor Vulcan is what we call a problematic mentally ill villain trope. I love him SO much. (okay lets talk)#we don’t know much about his childhood but we do know he spent 2 years in a fugue state after escaping slavers when he was like ten ):#as an “adult”-ish he's uh “mentally” 15 or sumn according to the calculations claimed to him by his hallucination of his actual child self#and apart from THOSE hallucinations. he’s very paranoid to the point of killing his advisors because he becomes convinced-#that they’re plotting to kill him. they aren't. he relies on Calseye to ground him thru his paranoia. and then of course in the Krakoa era#he believes his energy constructs of Petra and Sway who drink with him till he blacks out every single day are real. he isnt consciously#creating them; but he sees them- and bc he’s a godlike mutant his subconscious makes his hallucinations visible. making everyone uncomfy#Charles tries to use telepathy to FORCIBLY reality check him. which of course triggers his trauma. and GABE is punished for it?#(oh plus our finding out Gabe got brain surgery done on him by some gods outside the universe offpanel. he never does well with tampering)#and now the writers who pushed Hickman out (also RIP Sabretooth & the Exiles. RIP Hellions) want us to be SAD Krakoa is gone?#yes Gabriel is the mentally ill villain trope. but Krakoa never cared for mutants who couldn’t fit in. who were traumatized. disabled. etc#Alex OF ALL PEOPLE should understand that. ALEX should’ve been there for Gabriel. (why wasn't he. did he hold a grudge for past torture.)#Alex also w Murder-Enjoying Disorder but it was actually treated as an illness and those in authority presented as wrong for excluding him#instead of helping him. which v flawed but Hellions was one of the best mental illness comics? like Zeb Wells was conscious of the genre#but Gabriel was just… cast out. for panicking when his prime traumatizer Charles invaded his mind. he deserved help too#and all because his family were annoyed at him for drinking all night and throwing up and passing out on the floor? for being delusional?#And like- all of the summers brothers are nd (Scott's brain damage; Alex's dissociative episodes; Gabriel's psychosis)#I have nothing to say about Adam X ((I highly doubt he's neurotypical and/or mentally healthy)) ((nothing to say abt him tho))#and Gabes paranoia is 100% rooted in his issues of being made to feel like an outsider. like YES the obvious MUTANT identity but also#he thinks his father abandoned him to be a slave. he's not Summers enough for Scott. hes not Shi'ar enough for the Shi'ar
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An important thing about Aziraphale is that he cares so much about being good, but also, he is only ok at it. Not terrible! Just mediocre. Very brave and trying his absolute best with mixed results. To paraphrase the book, neither fundamentally good nor fundamentally bad but fundamentally Aziraphale. He is however trying very hard to save the entire planet and that is really very lovely of him and should count for a lot, especially because his hot not-boyfriend finally made a move after six thousand horny, horny years and he could easily have chosen to get really spectacularly laid instead of reviewing organizational flowcharts and being trapped in meetings with people who hate each other only slightly less than they hate him.
#what he is actively quite bad at#in my opinion at least#is being a friend/boyfriend/codependent romantic bestie#To be fair to him he has never tried to be good at this before#he has spent the vast majority of his relationship with Crowley denying and downplaying that relationship#sometimes because he's afraid of external consequences (reasonable! so reasonable)#sometimes because he's afraid that it's actually Wrong to love him much less side with him (make up your mind dude you've been thwarting#god's will together since 2500 bce apparently)#but how do you get into the habit of being good to someone under those conditions?#metaphorical internalized homophobia that cannot help but be externalized onto the object of your affections rings sadly true#like it is just very hard to be decent to someone when you're genuinely afraid that there might be something fundamentally broken and evil#in them especially if you're also afraid the same thing might be broken and evil in you .#when you are afraid that extending empathy and understanding to someone else is just self indulgence and selfish gratification of your own#desires it is very easy to sabotage your better impulses#and it's not that Aziraphale doesn't basically know this is bullshit but imo that is why the idea of Crowley as an Angel again is such#a relief to him and he genuinely manages to convince himself it can fix everything#but that is not the same thing as Aziraphale going back to heaven!#good omens
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i’m already sat for the match (i have to study i still have to go to my friend’s place i don’t know when we’ll have dinner) but i’m already sat
#i really can’t wait im vibrating out of my skin my boyfriend is evil-eyeing me because im not studying but postin on tumblr#he hates me. PLUS his sister is here so i have to be very careful about NOT engaging in conversation with her otherwise we’ll never leave#we talk too much when we’re together. love her to death#i’m wearing my sergio ramos shirt i’ll be made fun of but I DONT CARE. ITS MY FAITH#football tag
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kanon is fucking messed up for choosing airi of all people as the savior
#assuming airi isn't destined to be a savior and kanon just so happen need to send someone from earth to distract everyone from#whatever the fuck the 10 gods the 10 magicians and maydare itself are up to#anyway fucked up of him by choosing airi who JUST lost her friends got technically verbally bullied and everyonebseem to wish her to disap#disappear instead and no one was happy for her to survive doesn't even recieve her mother's love because of how the mother's attention is#solely for her boyfriend(s?)#extremely fucked of him to take advantage of her in her vulnarable state while also making her a child blessed by all that are mentally#vulnarable that definitely made airu's depressed state even WORSE and what's much more fucked up is how he also kind of saved her from her#life in earth AND gave her a chance to reconnect to her all friends but won't regain the friendship she lost because those two became#different people from the ones she knew despite the similarities. what's fucked up on top of all of that is that the dagger kanon gave her#might possibly be the same dagger that kanon used to kill scarlet and black and later used to stab airi and kill kazuha and tooru#like goddamn holy shit#i can't call kanon 'evil' but i can't call him 'good' either#like wow...... i do not know a single thing about kanon pachelbel but he's very interesting to think about#sylhea talks maydare
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i!!! hate!!!!!!! being borderline!!!!!!!!!!
#negativity incoming heads up#dude every little thing that happens gets me on edge and sends me down a spiral I absolutely fucking hate ths#the context is that my favourite person cancelled plans for us to hang out to go have dinner#(I didn't ask with whom because I know that either way I wasn't going to like the answer)#you see she's had a boyfriend for over a year and a half I think#and we get along! we've been buds since high school and he's a cool dude (except when he's not because men)#I know this is not true. I know it's my mind playing evil tricks on me. I know this is the voice talking.#but I constantly feel like she's slowly but surely replacing me#not that i'm the only friend she's allowed to have or anything I just..#can't help but to think that there'll come a day where she's going to have to pick between him or me and she'll always pick him#she's always talking about how much she loves and how they're already making plans to live together and get married and shit#and i'm happy for her I genuinely am#but I feel.... i don't even know for sure#I feel like everyone's moving forward while I sit in the same place. I feel like I'm being left behind#truth is I feel very alone#I keep pushing my friends away because I'm a shit person and now would you look at that: i'm completely alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i'm isolated from everyone else and it's all my fault!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I have no one to blame for my misery but myself#I feel like I'm being consumed from the inside out#there's this awful evil tension inside me that I can't shoulder#i'm used to The Empty#I'm used to being hollow#but this emptiness.. it hurts#ive grown used to it#that's the worst part#if you're reading and you've made it this far I want to say thank you and also that I'm doing fine I'm just rambling#and wallowing in my grievances#ANYWAY#I have a lot of work to do because I neglected my academic responsabilities for months and now I must suffer the consequences lmao#this semester has been hell. ive humiliated myself a hundred times over in many different ways. i've disappointed a lot of people
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(Your tags deserved to live on!)
it's insane to me that people can't get past the nuances of rose and mickey's relationship and how they're both good people who don't do right by each other. like this is a show where the main character (allegedly) kills his entire species and you can't get past why two people who started dating in their teens might fuck each other up a bit
#I’ve said it before and I’ll say it forever:#the takeaway from Rose and Mickey’s relationship wasn’t that Rose was bad for Mickey/a bad girlfriend#they were not right for EACH OTHER#Mickey was selfish and it’s heavily implied in EPISODE ONE that he has unfaithful tendencies#so for people to treat him like a poor bb victim suffering beneath Rose’s evil hand = insane#they grew up together. spent their whole lives as best mates#living in government housing#in close quarters without shit to do because shit costs money#so people relatively close in age with even remotely similar interests who are attractive tend to be drawn together#and people date who shouldn’t date — people fuck who shouldn’t fuck#not that this only happens below the poverty line but I’m just saying; given this situation#Mickey and Rose were never a good fit — they were just convenient and *there*#reinforced by the love you have for your mates#there were faults on both sides — and they were crazy young#no Rose wasn’t a great girlfriend to Mickey#but Mickey wasn’t a good boyfriend to Rose either.#they were doomed whether the Doctor showed up or not#let their enduring friendship stand as a testament to the fact that their platonic love was all that mattered in the end#god it drives me insane how people use the Mickey thing as ammo against Rose#when we have multiple examples of Mickey’s faults in S1E1#I feel like it’s all written in a very deliberate way so it feels really obvious#but then again — so was the Tentoo ending and people still be acting like that wasn’t a good ending for Rose#so I don’t know why I still expect any better from the general population#anyway it’s been a shit week to be an American and I’m a bit sensitive right now so don’t mind me
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weirdly fragmented
i can just pretend
im pretending now
everything is too much and im sensitive and scared
im just the soft version of me
theres too many others
i dont want to be me anymore i want to be the other
i think im zac but not the right one
the other wrong one is still around and i lied about it he keeps messing up how i look and everything and he changes how people see me
the one that isnt me he ruins everything dont listen to anything he says please dont listen to him hes trying to hurt me he will
its not my fault
its not my fault
i dont understand im not mean and i dont like fights i dont thats the other me. i cant handle i just cry so much
im just sick and soft and easily bruised
please just take care of me im not trying to be wrong
im just soft and easily hurt
please dont hurt me
everything hurts
#log#did vent#im not the other one im just the wrong one#im not usual and everything is too much#everything is a lot#please dont sound angry#im soft and i dont have though skin#im just the softest#i dont have though skin like the rright one#im not that zac#please be careful with me#im sorry im not very sweet and imnot very good at things#im trying my best im trying to make sure nobody gets hurt when things hurt#he takes care of people that are evil and makes them go away#i take care of the body and i make bad things go away#it hurts me too im trying to feel better and do back to normal#i dont like being this one me#please be careful im so very sensitive#please just let me cuddle and hug you im good at that#words are hard can i just give you a hug#im just sick and im taking care so other me doesnt get too tired when im not sick again#please spend time with me please be nice together with me we can be soft#please be soft with me together#im not supposed to post this its complicated im just trying to explain why im not very good now and weird and soft#its still me i think its not the usual but thats okay because i still like you and you still like me too#we can be boyfriends#im so soft and so soft and soft soft soft#emotionaly small tiny#im tiny me and im on med znd it just hit and i feel really good#really good please love me
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Staring at Cosmo desperately trying not to accidentally give him Fen's same two boyfriends
#ITS JUST SUCH A GOOD DYNAMIC ;-; It always comes to mind even just by accident#Rn I'm thinking about pairing Cosmo up with that scrapped 3rd Fen bf! The rancher fella. Very suave cowboy vibes#Debating over making him a firbolg (cow-boy cowboy) or something else. Livestock Guardian Dog as inspo#And I'm ngl rn the other partner is Just Sasha#I JUST LIKE SASHA >~< I like his dynamic with characters that are very strange and relatively inexperienced romantically#Sasha loves weirdos and freaks dude u can't convince me he wouldn't adore Cosmo#Obv I know I can't just give Cosmo Fen's boyfriend I know. But oughhh it's so hard to find an OC like Sasha that fills his niche#Maybe a Vesper type? Like. Not literally but#A rogue of some sort who sneaks around and likes to do things their own way#Considering someone who knew Cosmoris a long time ago and has a grudge against him bc he was Fucking Evil#Then finally finds Cosmo only to be incredibly caught off guard by how weird and not intimidating he is. Scary def. He's kinda freaky.#But not “The scourge of the faewild” scary. More like... just scary to look at. Covered in bones and bugs coming out of his sleeves
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I read the comic in one sitting less than an hour after finishing the movie, and wow I have many Thoughts™.
- It's very obvious the two versions were meant to cater to different audiences AND tell different messages. I don't get why people are going "But the comic was better! It had more nuance!" just because Nimona was easier to root for in the movie.
- The comic was written back when ND Stevenson was still trying to process a lot of stuff, so all the characters are morally grey/straight up evil and the climactic battle is between a Ballister who regrets turning against Nimona, even if it was to save others vs. a Nimona who's too hurt to care if her lashing out was going to hurt innocent people.
- By the time Nimona got a movie adaptation, ND was a lot more secure in his sexuality, so the climactic battle was Nimona vs. the Director, the symbol of religious oppression and bigotry. It's not just about your friends turning on you because you're "too much" for them anymore, it's also about a society that would rather bring itself to the brink of ruin than coexist with you.
- (I totally get why people were upset about Ballister's surname change, though. Like come on, the media dubbing him Blackheart just to be mean was RIGHT THERE).
- Nimona's metaphor for not shifting is such a neurodivergent thing. Even in the comic, Nimona's parents insisting she's a monster who replaced their daughter is reminiscent of the changeling myth, which is what many parents thought their neurodivergent kids were—changelings who replaced their "real" children.
- Ambrosius being trained to cut off HIS BOYFRIEND'S WHOLE FUCKING ARM instead of merely disarming him is a very cop thing to do. As much as cops claim they're trained to de-escalate situations, their training still teaches them to treat everyone as a potential threat, and that level of constant vigilance can turn anyone into a trigger-happy/arm-choppy bastard. Even the Director, who can use a sword but probably hasn't actually fought someone in ages, STILL can't see Ballister reaching for the squire's phone without assuming he has a weapon.
- And on that note, the Queen getting killed simply because she was trying to reform the Institution and allow commoners to become knights? That's the best "no such thing as a good cop" metaphor I've seen. Because even if there ARE good cops and they ARE in leadership positions, the system will crush them before they make any meaningful change. It's not a good institution that turned rotten, it's an institution that only exists to spread its rot and refuses to be good.
- That's why Ballister's characterisation is so different in the movie vs. the comic. Comic Ballister had 15 years to come to terms with his trauma and the Institution's evildoing, while Movie Ballister is still freshly traumatised and hasn't found a way to define himself beyond the role he was assigned by the Institution.
- Not to mention Comic Ambrosius was not very noble to begin with and genuinely believed Ballister was better suited to villainy than heroism, while Movie Ambrosius never wanted the glory that came with his lineage in the first place and only antagonised Ballister because of indoctrination he needed to unlearn (which he did, all by himself, after witnessing the lengths the Director will go to just to kill Nimona).
- It really shows how important it is to surround yourself with loved ones who are open to change. Comic Ambrosius can love Ballister all he wants, but he'll still blast his arm off because he thinks Ballister deserved it anyway. Movie Ambrosius will stop to question what "the right thing" even means, even if he didn't love Ballister enough to defend him unconditionally.
I have so many more thoughts bubbling beneath the surface, but I'll probably address them some other day. In conclusion:
[ID: A pink-haired Nimona grinning evilly while holding up a knife.]
Watch Nimona. This is not a request.
Edit: Added more thoughts!
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okay this may be a controversial opinion but I don't think Jason Todd actually counts as a problematic fave. that's like calling Punisher or Dexter or Lord Vetinari a problematic fave.
I really think the term is only correctly applied if you're very much not supposed to like that character. like feel sympathy to them or get where they're coming from, maybe, but not actually like them. certainly not say 'you're all wrong and I'm the only one who truly understands my beloved fucked up evil little hate machine' and then try to invent a whole personality and logic for them.
this includes pretty much characters that are transparently there to have the same motivations/origins as a protagonist, but with a terrible, obviously morally wrong conclusion. and characters that have absolutely no complexity whatsoever and are purely there to be narratively functional as a villain.
which Jason was, in UtRH! Jason's return was very much with him as a relatively shallow and underdeveloped foil to Batman, purely to show that trauma can push people one way or another, and not all of those ways are good. and the people who started liking him when that came out, sure, he was a problematic fave. but he was the comics writers' problematic fave, and they wove a whole new narrative for him to have all to himself. and so he became a very unproblematic very prominent character that you're supposed to like, identify with, and cheer on.
and you can argue that any character can really fit this if you look at the bad things they do but still like them, but I would argue it's actually much more problematic if they do something horrible that the narrative doesn't acknowledge is terrible, either because the creators genuinely believe that's a good thing or because they totally didn't notice. presenting awful things as if they're normal and fine is unfortunately common in comics. whereas all of Jason's stuff is very, like, well he probably shouldn't have done that that way.
I mean you're supposed to see him as the good guy! you're supposed to agree or disagree with what he does but fundamentally think his heart is in the right place and he's got good morals and he cares about what happens to people. so I think he can't be a problematic fave. I think no gray hero or gray villain or character just doing their best to struggle through their circumstances can really fall into that camp. only characters the author would be horrified to find out that you're very attached to. characters that are only there to be evil.
#source: one time I saw one of my favorite authors refer to my book boyfriend as 'someone no one could ever like' and assume fans didn't#and I felt very awkward and embarrassed about being in love with him. he's also the bar I use for 'how evil is this book boyfriend'#there's a scale. Dickie is extremely far to the 'entirely unproblematic' end. so's Lex Luthor for that matter#he's controversial for sure don't get me wrong but I kind of feel like that's not the same thing. or like what's the point of the term#I think people need to be unhinged about way more evil of characters is all I'm saying. really defend the indefensible. for fun
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smut 18+ only, fucking jason on the kitchen floor, feral horny afab reader who wants to maul jason, unprotected sex, breeding kink, submissive jaytodd!!! rock on!!!
The first time you go absolutely batshit feral over Jason, he's cleaning the apartment.
He's done nothing to provoke your ferality (he never does), and usually, you keep it to yourself. Thoughts like if I were a vampire I'd suck his blood and I need my boyfriend to hold me down until I orgasm or pass out, whichever comes first, are inside thoughts, and you do a great job at keeping them as such.
So you're not quite sure what compels you to act the way that you do.
First, Jason's in clothes that don't help your insanity. The shirt is Dick's (Jason insists that he did NOT have an emo phase, thank you), so the cropped quality of the My Immortal t-shirt isn't by design. Jason's just big.
Yes, yep, your boyfriend sure is a big boy. That's all you can think about as you watch him over the top of your open book while he attacks the kitchen floor with his Swiffer Jet. He's humming a song you don't recognize.
You love him so much. The thought hits you square in the chest. You love Jason Todd. A lot. A lot a lot a lot.
The next thought that hits you is how soft and squishy your boyfriend is. Jason's sweatpants are baggy, the baggiest he could find, and they still can't hide how humongous his thighs are. His thighs are pure muscle, but when not in the middle of a fight, they are soft. Bitable. Very bitable.
Your gazes moves to the strip of belly that flexes and flutters with every movement. Jason's stomach isn't perfectly flat, a fact that you know sometimes bothers him. You take care to treat it delicately, not wanting him to be self-conscious even though every part of him makes you rabid.
You want to kiss Jason's stomach. Feel it twitch under your hand as you do, uh... other stuff besides kissing. You love watching Jason in action, love watching him wield his powerful body. But you also love him like this: using his body to take care of himself, his space, and you.
Jason's arms. You could write prose poetry on such magnificent creations. More than once you've had the urge to wrap one of Jason's arms around your neck and let him squeeze until you lose consciousness. Another inside thought! Jason would staunchly refuse and probably get you checked for head trauma if you requested such a thing, but you can dream.
Once or twice, Jason's flexed for you, silly and smiley. You've managed to hide just how fucking hot you found it. It's been well over a year and you still want to jump your boyfriend. You try to keep it to a manageable level, not wanting to startle or overwhelm him. You know Jason's complicated relationship with his body. You respect his boundaries.
But still, the thoughts linger...
Your feet carry you to the kitchen before you can think about it. Jason's done with the mop and has moved to wiping the counters. You seize the opportunity to get behind him.
"Hey, baby," Jason says before you reach him. He keeps wiping. And that's another thing: Jason is highly competent. His training makes him hear you before you've reached him. If you were an evil goon, you'd be on the floor before you could inhale. You also find that concerningly hot.
You stick yourself to his back and wrap your arms around his stomach. You grab handfuls of the layer of fat that covers his muscles, brushing your thumbs over where his hair thickens below his bellybutton.
"What's up, hm?" Jason asks, patting your hand.
"You're really hot," you say.
He snorts, glances behind at you. "I'm what now?"
"Hot. Juicy. I wanna maul you."
"Is that so?"
"Yeah," you say peacefully, groping his waist. "Soon as possible."
"I'm free for a mauling in ten minutes. That work for you?"
"I don't know if I can wait that long." You slip your hands up his shirt. "Mind if I feel you up while I wait?"
Jason laughs but it comes out a little airy. "You're a menace."
"I'm crazy about you."
"Mm, I've noticed. Feeling's mutual."
"No, no." You move your head so that your mouth is on his exposed bicep. You feel the hot flesh in your mouth, lave your tongue over it for some time. As soon as it flexes, you bite the hard muscle.
Jason drops his dishcloth. You soothe your teeth marks with your tongue.
"You don't understand," you say, shifting so you're pressing Jason against the counter edge. He lets you keep him there. "I'm crazy about you. I wanna eat you, Jay. Let me eat you."
"Jesus, what's gotten into ya?" he asks, turning his head to look at you.
"Hopefully you," you say, unrepentant.
Jason's eyes widen. You adore how squirmy he gets whenever you're bold about wanting him. Despite how long you've known each other, Jason never fails to get flustered. Perhaps that's half the fun.
"C'mon, Jay, let me fuck you. I wanna fuck you on the kitchen floor," you say, past coyness.
He full-body shudders. "I jus' cleaned."
You grin against his arm, pawing at his hip. "I'll help you mop again, honey pie. Deal?" You're eyeing his stomach next, ready to suck his skin there.
Jason can't deny you for long. You both know that.
"You're persuasive," he says, eyelids fluttering.
You hum. "Didn't take much, though, did it? Is your dick hard already?" You squeeze him through his sweats. Jason whines, bracing himself against the counter. "Never takes long, huh? You're always ready for me in no time, stud. Ready to fill me up, right?"
"Oh m'God," he says, looking at you like you're divine. That look swells your ego every time.
"Is that a yes?" You cup his balls like you're choosing a bull for breeding. Jason buckles under your brazenness. "Yes, you want me to let you fuck my pussy? Yes, you want me to fuck you on the floor?"
"Yeah, yeah, please."
So Jason lets you push him down onto the tiles. You yank his sweats down first, then his underwear. He's already leaking onto his stomach.
"Fuck," you say, grabbing and holding Jason's wrists on either side of his head. "You gonna give me what I want, sweetie? Love of my life, handsomest guy I've ever seen?"
Jason nods vigorously. "Yeah, yes, an-anything y'want. Oh my God, I'm s-so hard. I love you. Y'so nice to me."
You smile gently.
"I'm nice for taking you on the kitchen floor, huh?" you ask, bending your knees and lining up his cock to your cunt. "What if I make you wait until I come first?"
Jason nods again, already breathing hard. "I want to, I wanna wait. You should come first. I want you to come first. I don't have ta come at all."
You raise an eyebrow. That's new. New, but not unwelcome.
"So even when I..." You sink down on his cock, just the tip. Jason whimpers in the back of his throat. "Do that? You don't need to come?"
You feel him flex under your hands but he's good and stays put. He doesn't break your hold even though he could. You grin.
"Oh-oh. Sweet boy. My best guy. Look at you, big and hard. You could take me if you wanted, but you don't want that, do you? You want me to take what I want from you. All that muscle and strength, but what d'you need, Jaybee? Hm? Tell me."
"Need you," he says, voice strained. "Need you to do whatever y'want."
You kiss under his jaw and dig your nails into his wrists. Then you sink further onto Jason's cock. His hips twitch but he doesn't thrust like he usually does.
"Will you kiss me?" he asks when he bottoms out, body strung tight like a bow.
"I did kiss you," you say, smiling into his neck.
"On th'lips," Jason says, fingers shaking. "Please? Please."
You thread your fingers with his to steady them. Then you lean in to kiss his mouth. Jason moans, greedily kissing you back. You begin to move. Jason's shoulders tense.
"You're so perfect," you say against his lips. "You'd be so perfect at knocking me up. Any time I wanted, you'd be hard and ready to come in me, right?"
"Ah-ah," Jason says, voice wrecked. "Y-yeah, yeah. As much as y'want. Do anything y'want. I'd do anything."
"Yeah, I know," you say, grunting as you slide back onto him. "I know, sweetheart. Pretty boy. Y'dunno what you got with this fat cock. Can barely speak when your dick's wet."
You do a particularly hard grind and growl against Jason's sweaty throat. You lick the salt from his Adam's apple, feel it bob against your tongue. Then you bite.
"Oh, oh," he whines, and your gut tightens further at his sounds.
"Don't come," you snarl, pussy like a vice. "I come first."
Jason shakes his head, lips parted. His pulse throbs against your mouth. "No, no, won't. I won't. I'm good. I'll be good. 'M I good?"
You pet his hair, voice softening. "You're good, Jason. So good, baby. So good that I gotta take you right here on the floor. You understand, right? I was aching over there, watching you. I had to fuck you. Had to use your big dick for something."
"Uh-huh," he says, voice wet and sticky with pleasure. "Y'had to. I can do it. I wanna be good for you."
He looks up at you, and you're struck again by your difference in size, and how easy Jason gets when he's inside of you. You feel that familiar tightness, the edge of your impending orgasm.
"Rub my clit," you say, letting go of his right hand, and Jason obeys instantly, locating and deftly rubbing your clit.
"Harder," you tell him, and he rubs harder. Your mouth falls open as the pleasure swells. "Yeah. This is what you're made for. Pleasing me."
One of these days, you'll broach the subject of Jason putting those muscles to good use and fucking you doggy-style, whining in your ear as he shoots load after load into you.
"I'm gonna come," you say, cunt tightening. "Are you gonna come?"
Jason shakes his head desperately. "No. No, no, y'said not to. Not gonna come!"
"A-are you sure?" you ask, grinning as Jason makes uh-uh's in the back of his throat.
"Won't come, I promise, won't come," he says, near tears.
You come, tightening hard around Jason's cock. He nearly howls, the corners of his eyes wet, tendons pulled taut in his neck.
But he doesn't come, true to his word.
Sloppily, you kiss him. Jason kisses you back, but it's frenzied. You know his brain must be soup with the effort it's taking to not come.
"Look at you," you say, gaze hungrily roving over Jason's swollen nipples, his red face, his drawn eyebrows. "You listened so well. Y'wanna touch me? Wanna hold me?"
Jason nods frantically. "Yeah, yeah, please, baby, please, can I?"
"Go ahead, sweetheart. Hold me how you want and make yourself come. Don't be gentle."
Jason hesitates at the last direction. "Don't be gentle? Are y'sure?"
You pinch his nipple lightly. Jason bucks his hips. Your eyes narrow.
"I'm sure. Gimme everything you got, big guy."
You bite your lip as Jason's body comes alive, strength kicking in as he draws your thighs up over his hips, plants his feet, and drives into you. He punches the air out of you with each thrust, sobbing as he does. You hold on to his arms as he moves.
It only takes him a few thrusts before hot cum fills your pussy. Your eyes roll back at the feeling, nails scratching Jason's biceps.
"I want more," you say, grinding shallowly against his cock. Jason cries out, and more cum fills you.
"Was that good?" Jason asks, holding you closer.
You grin. "We're definitely doing that again."
Except, maybe not right after Jason's cleaned. You're not that mean.
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