#he's a very focused-on-his-goals kind of person !!! if he needs to do something he needs to do it and not fuck around

[willowser]

for the spicy asks ✨bakugou and worked up? 👀 because i think once y’all actually get going he’s all systems go, he’s never been one to hold back in any other area of his life so why would he be restrained here? but at the same time i just KNOW he has to work himself up to actually initiate anything w/ you, he’s so nervous!!! that boy is an Overthinker!!!

lil whimsy 🥹🩷✨️ how sweet 🩷✨️

worked up : what is your f/o like when turned on ? are they desperate, tense, barely restrained ? how do they handle it ?

YEESSSSS omg exactly !! he IS an overthinker 🥺 i think when he's turned on, katsuki is kinda....hover-y....if he's in the office and i'm in the kitchen, he'll mosey in every now and again to see what i'm doing....and then mosey back out when he thinks he doesnt want to interrupt me LOL bc he hates feeling driven by his dick !! LMAOOO truthfully i wouldn't mind hehehe but !! he is how he is !!! and even when he's not home or we're not together, he'll send out a text or something, get brave enough behind a screen to send a lil 🩷 or a "love you" 🥺🥺 he wants me to think about him !!! wants me to know he's thinking of me !!! 🥺

for the most part, he's pretty restrained, and i think he kind of feels like. is it selfish of me to want to interrupt what you're doing just because of what i want ?? but you're right that once he gets going, all bets are off !! that's when it becomes obvious how long he's been kind of holding back, bc clothes start coming off pretty fast and he's near dragging me across the house back to the bedroom LOL

spicy/nsfw self ship asks 💐

[solspina]

Rating primarchs based on how good of a boyfriend they would be

full send no context

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───

Horus : 8/10

He’s a nice guy for the most part, very charismatic and though very goal focused he’s also kind and open to those he’s closest to. Outwardly, he’s very straightforward, stern, and absolutely ruthless to his enemies. There’s humanity within him though, and he won’t keep his friendly, loving demeanor away from those who deserve it. Find him at a celebratory event, drunk with Sanguinius, moments in which he’s full of nothing but laughter and love for his brothers and the one who stands beside him. His love language is quality time.

Leman Russ : 4/10 (negotiable)

Though he knows love, it seems to be quite strictly familial. He’s described often as ruthless and barbaric, naive and braggish. If you can put up with things like that, I’m sure he would be a fine boyfriend. Similarly enough though, he’s had many women try to court him all at once, and successfully. I can’t promise his loyalty if someone better looking comes along, as no one ever taught him the importance of that. Outside of the constant, lingering fear of replacement, he can have his caring and understanding moments, occasionally bringing you gifts from crusades and sieges on other planets. Maybe his loyalty to the emperor would apply to his lover too, if you tell him what it means to you. His love language is gift giving.

Ferrus Manus : 7/10

Rage is his fatal flaw if we’re being honest. Not towards you, but towards battle. Toward you I imagine he would be more straightforward and honest, though trustworthy and strong willed to make your relationship work. Loyalty will never ever ever be an issue with him, but it seems like he spends more time with war and battle than he does you. He spends time with you when he can, though, and he truly does care. Points off for his temper. He gave his brothers personalized gifts, and i’m sure he would go through many lengths to do the same for you. His love language is gift giving.

Fulgrim: 6/10

He’s constantly trying to be perfect, and he wants whoever he’s with to be perfect too. A lot of the time, it gets to his head. He can be incredibly ignorant quite often, and isn’t very considerate of your feelings. You’re more of an idol to him, a model. You’re human, so he sees you as perfect, something he and his people should strive to be like. Youre idealized, and under rose tinted lenses, this looks a lot like love… Lots of acts of service and gift giving.

Vulkan : 10/10

The only man you will ever need point blank period. He’s patient, he’s empathetic, he’s kind, he’s humane. He’s incredibly easy to love, and he truly is beloved. The Salamanders love you too, sometimes listening to your commands as if they were his. You’re respected as long as you’re under his arm. He wants to understand the way humans feel, especially understand the reason they wrap their arms around each other and sleep with their bodies entwined at night. His love language is physical touch.

Rogal Dorn : 6/10

He’s incredibly loyal, and also incredibly honest, but his seriousness can get in the way sometimes. You love him, very much, but there are times you get into petty arguments and he has to go consult Horus and Sanguinius for advice on what to do. He’s also very reserved at times, a lot like a single dad who’s just doing his best to keep his job and go about his day. Acts of service would be his love language.

Roboute Guilliman : 9/10

Guilliman is a great boyfriend, a great tactician, a great warrior, all of the above. The only reason i’d take a point off is because I believe he may be a little arrogant at times. He believes that his way is the right way, but he’s usually willing to listen to you and your concerns. He’s incredibly intelligent, very sympathetic and understanding of human trials and concerns, and he’s a lot like we are modern times. I think he would look for comfort in a significant other, and his love language is likely acts of service.

Magnus the Red : 3/10

Another man that I don’t recommend being with. He’s more arrogant than Fulgrim. When I said Guilliman believes his way is the right way, Magnus takes it a step up. He thinks he’s ALWAYS right. He cares, and he means well, but he’s way too much to put up with. Highly manipulative and self absorbed, don’t put yourself in that situation. He values knowledge more than he does you.

Sanguinius : 10/10

Besides the fact he’s a vampire, you’re probably the most safe with him. He genuinely cares for you and your well-being, and sleeping next to him at night with his wing draped over you is an absolute dream in a universe plagued by war. His sons may fall to their bloodthirst when they’re on the home ship, and Sanguinius is fast to wrap himself around his human partner and protect them from any and all harm. You hold him through his sorrow every time a mass of humans or his sons lose their lives, and you watch him kneel to offer you his loyalty and unconditional love rather than you offering it to him. He gives both physical touch and words of affirmation.

Lion El’Jonson : 7/10

Of course he has his moments where he can come off as aloof and paranoid, but that’s for the most part only on the battlefield. Outside, he’s incredibly charming and charismatic, but in a noble way. When his paranoia gets to him after an argument, he seeks out Sanguinius and Horus for advice, wanting nothing more to fix your relationship and solve whatever went wrong. He become more secretive as time goes on, but old habits die hard. I believe he’d offer acts of service.

Perturabo : 6/10

He’s incredibly smart, but finds relating to you and your human tendencies incredibly difficult. His moods can shift and change rapidly and violently, but I believe he means you no true harm. He would never hurt you intentionally, often opting to back away and give himself space, sometimes for days. He never returns to you without a mechanically engineered gift, though, one of his design. Alongside a very gentle hug and a conversation about how you care about him, what he loves. You love him, not for his usefulness to the emperor, but for him. His love language is definitely gift giving.

Mortarion : 8/10

He’s very confused as to why you would choose him. He’s disgusting, an abomination, he hated everything from psykers to his oppressors, what did anything matter if he would be left to the mercy of another oppressor anyways? All thoughts he had until he met you. He was cold and hateful to you at first, untrusting, and yet you showed him kindness. You showed him kindness over and over again. For once, it wasn’t just a one time thing. You’re the only thing in this universe who sees him as more than a warlord, more than the embodiment of death itself, so for you he has a soft spot. He hates the idea of having a human curl up next to him, absorbing his warmth and disease alike… and yet you do. You remind him that his touch is not deadly, and he too is capable of humanity. He will be more considerate of his decisions, because for once, something matters. His love language is physical touch, because he’s been deprived for so long, you’re the only one who allows him that piece of humanity.

Lorgar : 5/10

Does he love you? Does he not? No… He needs you… Maybe he just needs space actually.He loves you, he really does, and by god he tries his best, but when you’re as impulsive and indecisive as he is, it’s hard to know sometimes. If you’re okay with it working 50% of the time, maybe more maybe less, I’m sure you’ll be fine. His love language is… uh… well?

Jaghatai Khan : 7/10

Loyal, decently humble, and a relatively peaceful man. Outside of war, he has potential to be great to you. When war is his focus, however. Expect no attention, he’s a fierce warrior and needs to focus on his allegiance to the emperor, that’s what comes first. You follow very closely after, though! He’s quick to praise you for the things you do well and gently remind you of a better course of action when it comes to the things you don’t do too well. Acts of service enjoyer.

Konrad Curze : 2/10

DO NOT DATE THIS MAN. Konrad is a walking red flag. The self loathing, the anger, the angst, the general belief in humanity as a fallacy. He’s also incredibly violent, and may cause you serious harm if you ever managed to anger him. He’s a primarch, and you’re a human. Don’t you dare piss him off. I don’t know why anyone would realistically want that. Please continue to paint him as mean angry babygirl with a soft spot in your fics though. If you think you can fix him, you can’t. The emperor already tried.

Angron : 4/10

Before his conversion to chaos, Angron would’ve been a great boyfriend if we’re being honest. He was kind, compassionate, encouraging. He loved you when you were enslaved beside him, but once he became a primarch and lost everything, his beloved included, he became one of the most ruthless and cruel people out there until he succumbed to Khorne. He doesn’t remember you. His love language was words of affirmation.

Corvus Corax : 4/10

A very melancholic and depressed primarch. He’s very angsty and honestly a major drag to be around. He and Konrad, i feel like, would be better boyfriends to each other than either of them would be to you. Corvus isn’t as violent as Konrad, but he definitely carries on the hatred, the sorrow, and the bitterness. He’s also very sensitive, so expect to be met with either violence or a breakdown if you try to leave. 2 extra points because you may get to keep your life, his love language is words of affirmation, always followed by self deprecation.

Alpharius Omegon : 7/10

He’s they’re a great boyfriend to be honest, though very secretive, and that raises many questions. You don’t know that there are two of them. It’s a secret, not even one that you’re allowed to know the answer to. Alpharius is obviously the more dominant brother, the one who you think has a soft side. He doesn’t. That’s not him, that’s Omegon. Omegon is much more gentle, quiet, and quite honestly a little more touchy. Why? because you make him feel seen. Alpharius is used to the spotlight, so giving him every ounce of your attention feels like the usual, though he still enjoys it very much. Alpharius expresses love through acts of service and gift giving, while Omegon expresses love through words of affirmation and quality time. They make up for everything the other lacks, as long as you don’t know the massive secret they’re keeping from you…

[andrewwtca]

on Sephiroth's manipulation of Cloud (an analysis)

— Rebirth + OG FF7 spoilers

how Rebirth tackled puppet Cloud is so unique and so so good, and I just needed to talk about it. first things first, let’s talk about what Sephiroth means by ‘puppet.’

throughout the OG FF7 and Rebirth, Sephiroth refers to Cloud as a ‘puppet.’ it may seem strange at first glance, because it seems to imply that Sephiroth is manually taking control of Cloud, puppeteering him or that Cloud is inherently empty.

it also doesn’t fit with his encouragement of Cloud’s rage. if Cloud is a puppet, why doesn’t Sephiroth just give him rage?

because that’s not what he means. when Sephiroth calls Cloud a puppet, he means that Cloud’s mind can easily be shaped, similar to how a puppet’s identity is dependent on its master. he says that what Cloud feels is fake because Cloud’s mind is a collage of identities, his own and Zack’s, all with Jenova’s and Sephiroth’s influence. Cloud’s feelings are just his master’s feelings.

Cloud’s mind is malleable. he is his own person, the real Cloud Strife is there, but due to the self-esteem issues he’s harbored since childhood and the trauma he’s endured for the past five years, the presenting Cloud Strife can greatly differ. Sephiroth is intensely aware of this, and takes advantage of it.

the persona we see of Cloud is his SOLDIER persona, the tough badass he always wanted to be, a mixture of his interpretation of Zack and his interpretation of being a hero. but the facade cracks quickly and frequently, in either direction. mostly, it cracks to let us see the real Cloud. there’s no one single moment where he shines through: Cloud taking on odd jobs with no real gain other than him helping someone, Cloud doing something stupid and silly, Cloud getting flustered. all the moments of him being kind and dorky is the real Cloud shining through. it’s impossible for Cloud to bury all of himself beneath his persona, so these cracks are only natural. however, the other cracks in his persona are due to Sephiroth’s manipulation.

in Rebirth, Cloud kills multiple people on multiple occasions—one can argue because they were Shinra, they deserved it, but that doesn’t change the fact that Cloud isn’t a killer. even his SOLDIER persona accommodates his desire to help people; so how does he kill people so easily? if you answered Sephiroth, you get a prize!

Sephiroth manipulates his SOLDIER persona in two ways: feeding into ideals and planting ideas. for the first, he (off-screen) encourages violent and/or anti-social behavior in Cloud. while we, the player, and everyone around him views this as strange, in Cloud’s mind, it all fits into what he’s supposed to be. he’s supposed to be a badass, and badasses kill people and dismiss their friends’ feelings, right?

when Cloud is in this mental state, it’s very hard to reason with him. in Chapter 13 (one of the greatest pieces of puppet Cloud literature), Cloud’s entire goal is to reach the center of the Temple in order to acquire the Black Materia. he doesn’t listen to any warnings that the Cetra give or his teammates, becoming wholly focused on retrieving it. but even then, even if Cloud’s behavior doesn’t seem strange to him, why does he want the Black Materia?

that’s due to Sephiroth’s other form of manipulation: planting ideas. it’s easy to force Cloud to become violent because it fits the narrative of badass SOLDIER, but lots of other ideas need time to nourish. case-in-point: Tifa isn’t the real one.

we are introduced to this idea at the very beginning of the game, Cloud walking through the inn at Kalm when he sees Sephiroth who tells him that this Tifa isn’t the real one. the conflict seems to become resolved when Cloud repeats the idea to Tifa who completely dismisses it, but they’re nowhere out of the woods.

next, Sephiroth in Chapter 5 instills the idea that Jenova is capable of impersonation. this doesn’t seem to go anywhere until Chapter 9.

first, Cloud enters that intensified SOLDIER state-of-mind, killing all the Shinra troopers around him. with his mind already fragile, Sephiroth repeating the idea to him now becomes fact: Tifa isn’t real. she is an imposter from Jenova. both the ideas Cloud’s been fed are twisted and he pushes Tifa off the edge.

Cloud snaps out of this state of mind right after, but it doesn’t change the fact that it happened. as long as Sephiroth plays his cards right, he can manipulate Cloud into doing nearly everything for him. hence, the ‘puppet’ label.

(that’s also why Cloud wants the Black Materia. Sephiroth tells Cloud to bring him the Black Materia—and even if Cloud doesn’t want to, the thought is engraved in his head that he should retrieve it for Sephiroth.)

but here’s what’s really special. as we’ve noted, the intensified SOLDIER persona is violent, anti-social, just an all around dick. he doesn’t care about his friends, doesn’t care about anything except getting what he wants (see: what Sephiroth wants.)

but we see something very different at the end of Chapter 13. Cloud isn’t rude and dismissive. he pushes Tifa, but he doesn't do it with the same malice as in Chapter 9. he does it in an attempt just to get her away, just to chase after the Black Materia.

in his pursuit of Aerith, the things he says are the farthest thing from rude. he’s not threatening or demanding her to stop. he’s asking her to talk, appealing to her desire to trust him and save the planet, even starts calling her name in a teasing way like he’s playing a game.

Aerith! Let's talk. I need it... Aerith... Give it to me. Please? You can trust me. Let's save the planet together. (playfully) Aerith.

when Aerith finally gives him the Black Materia, what does Cloud do? he could just walk away. he could just run straight to Sephiroth. but, no—he makes sure to say “thank you” first.

it’s pathetic (I type this in the most endearing way) the way Cloud acts. why is that? what is the difference between these types of manipulation? the answer is who Sephiroth manipulates. for the most part, Sephiroth manipulates SOLDIER Cloud. but here, Sephiroth breaks through Cloud’s SOLDIER persona to manipulate the real Cloud.

we know when we see the real Cloud: if you need a refresher, anytime Cloud is kind or acts like a dork is usually a tell-tale sign. here, Cloud is kind, saying please and thank you. and it’s almost cute, the way he playfully calls out to Aerith. this is the real Cloud, buried under piles of piles of trauma, self-hatred, and alternative personas.

and what is the real Cloud’s utmost desire? to love and be loved. he wants to be a hero, to be worthy of the ones he holds dear; no, to be worthy of anyone. this is a big factor into Cloud’s construction of his SOLDIER persona, he creates himself that hero mask that he thinks will lead to the love he craves.

Sephiroth knows this, and twists his desire to be a hero to a desire to please Sephiroth at all costs. Cloud is still himself, but he wants to make Sephiroth happy no matter what. Sephiroth wants the Black Materia? then Sephiroth will get the Black Materia.

that’s what’s so heartbreaking (and deliciously good) about Rebirth’s depiction of puppet Cloud. he’s not hollow and empty. he’s desperate. this is the most of the real Cloud we get to see. we see fragments of him, but here is the longest consecutive period. this is the realest he acts in the game, kind and silly and so fucking desperate for love, for Sephiroth’s approval.

in short, Sephiroth knows exactly how and when to break Cloud. he knows how and when to manipulate SOLDIER Cloud and he knows how and when to manipulate the real Cloud. this is why Sephiroth calls him a puppet: as long as he plays to Cloud’s desire for approval and love, he can puppeteer him in every direction.

thank you for reading! I hope you learned something new or just understand Cloud better. Cloud is such a fascinating character and Sephiroth really brings out the most pathetic parts of him ❤️ here's to hoping Cloud gets all the love he wants

[avelera]

oh yeah viktor thinking he has a safety net regarding breaking into the office is definitely true, but this attitude comes across in other situations too. and i don't think him caring so much about science and what he's doing explains it fully - it's not like jayce doesn't care about what he's doing but he's still a huge people-pleaser. you couldd say that jayce feels like he mostly already achieved his goal in s01e04 because hextech is being used, and viktor very much doesn't, but it still feels different

I think that's very astute. Jayce and Viktor are on the same page during the break-in because they're both fanatics with nothing to lose and everything to gain.

But as of 1.04, Jayce has kind of made it! His goal was always to bring Hextech to the masses and with the Hexgates, they've kinda done that! Jayce is now settled in for the marathon, not the sprint. He's strategizing so the next Hextech release will be a personal project in order to keep him and Viktor happy and engaged and begin to chip away at their dream. But Jayce always saw Hextech as a long-term innovation, something that will continue to pay dividends to society for decades to come, and even after they're gone. So what's the rush?

That is why when Viktor keeps characterizing his own swiftly approaching mortality that only has a prayer of being cured with a Hextech miracle as, "helping the undercity", Jayce doesn't get it! It goes right over his head! And I blame Viktor for that, actually!

Viktor isn't telling the complete truth when he chastises Jayce for not focusing on Hextech and their dream, "for those in need. For the undercity!" He's not talking about the undercity, he's talking about himself.

And I don't think Viktor is completely aware he's talking about himself? Or he doesn't know how to ask. He's always couched his scientific endeavors as selfless rather than selfish, they've always been about helping "other people" but of course his hope was that he'd find a cure for himself too!

And I think Jayce would have respected that! Actually, I think if Viktor had said, "Cut the crap, Jayce. I'm dying, this isn't for the undercity, it's for me. I have weeks left to live and I need a miracle and I need my partner's help so please knock it off with the bullshit politics and help me!" I think Jayce would have dropped everything to help!

Jayce just didn't understand the undercity angle because yeah, there's people in need. But there's always people in need. No offense to the undercity, some of that is definitely Jayce's privilege and blindness to their needs, but some of it is just that he's a little closer aligned with Heimerdinger than Viktor and he's thinking long term. They're chipping away at Hextech, innovations will come, but they are going to need more testing (the Hexclaw accidentally re-pairing with the gem in Jayce's hand during the presentation is actually a really bad tech flaw, speaking from a real world perspective, that absolutely would have been dangerous for consumer use!)

So yeah, long story short, yeah. Jayce's people pleasing is a part of it but it also comes down to their very different scientific visions and very different timelines. Viktor has weeks, and he's panicking, and honestly it's impacting his judgement IMO, and Jayce doesn't know that so he's still thinking in years so he and Viktor are really just constantly talking past each other.

I'd also say Viktor feels the inadequacy of not having a big innovation himself like Hextech, which I think he still sees as primarily Jayce's, but that's another story and less pressing than his imminent death.

[gem-de-lune]

Vibe Check 12/12

Teenie Read: Sungchan

6 of Swords + 4 of Swords + Temperance [The Stars]

This is the combination of 3 questions. Firstly in regards to Sungchan's current state- he is generally well. He seems to be in a resting period of transition. He is calm though- very collected. Very put together. In comparison to the previous read for him he seems a lot more active in that he was actively seeking something or to solve something with others. But in this case, it's like that has already wrapped up, and things are in the process of moving without him having to really do much else. It's active in the sense of finding the path out of the storm and confidently making his way there.

With the 4 of Swords and Temperance these are supportive with the question of if there are any recent developments. It basically just reiterated the 6 of Swords but offered more perspective. As stated, he is not AS active because there is not much else to do other than follow the path and wait. Little by little something is brewing, so he is currently resting and preparing. There's a lot of "knowing" energy here. He is kinda secretive this time- or vague. But the general consensus is that there is something in place it is just going to be better to step away from negativity and chaos to let it play out.

This was confirmed for me with the Stars card which I asked in regards to having anything more he wanted to share in particular. The words "wait a bit, have some faith" popped out when reading this all together. Everything will balance out eventually- I think he is aware of this.

SM Current Energy regarding the situation

6 of Pentacles + 9 of Pentacles

I am feeling as though there has been a majority shift in a very specific way- pentacles...meaning money. They are looking at things for the long term as always. They are beginning to look at what is more profitable for the long term and realistically the growth they would like to accomplish. This has a lot to do with their saturn return in the 9th house i feel- and I am thinking they are seeing Seunghan has a moneymaker this way or a way to achieve this stability bc Riize is currently not stable. Specifically, I think they may believe the long-term benefits of his addition MAY contribute to a better outlook down the road. But it is just a sentiment, not a firm decision. Moreover- this sentiment seems to be very egotistical- in that as stated before- someone has convinced someone else who was against Seunghan's return- that this was their original thought. Oop.

What is the current plan to bring Seunghan back (from the people on his side at SM)

10 of Pentacles + 6 of Wands + King of Swords

Money money money and winning. This is a smart individual ensuring that long term monetary goals are met and that someone feels some kind of acclaim. Very similar to what I mentioned above and in other readings. Stability and the feeling of triumph- with a lower emphasis on how the acrual effected individuals feel on a personal level is what will lead to success in Seunghan's return. The emotions of others hold no value to the King unless it is going to bring the Pentacles or victory (6 of wands). He is also egotistical. Right now it's about guiding someone like a puppet by using their desires like a dangling carrot. Showing the results they want to see and letting them speak for themself. They probably have data analysts making presentations on pros and cons.

Is there anything we can do to convince SM to bring him back atp?

2 of Swords + 3 of Pentacles

Since this is a Yes/No question- the answer is Maybe. Right now, rather than focusing on convincing SM- it seems it is more important to create a more united front in the form of creative display or presentation of protest. Even if we try to convince SM- it seems that they have heard and seen all they need to see and hear. Right now we just need to back up the data and not mess up the statistics.

Oracle

Sun + Taurus

Never much to add on with this oracle specifically bc it speaks for itself- but i would emphasize that riling up the conservative bull is what is needed to see results quickly- and that we need not be negative. Like Sungchan- he is sitting in positivity and manifesting his outcome after putting in the work. We should be doing the same and then some.

Bottom of the Deck

King of Chalices + The Chariot

Sometimes I will flip another card on the bottom if it means something more, and yup, yup. I'm telling you rn....it is never a coincidence when cards like the Chariot continue to pop up over and over during readings for a specific topic. There is an emphasis on creativity and activity here. I read this in the last reading as well, but a creative project depicting all 7 members would be very impactful, is what I think.

Final Notes:

Sungchan is a Virgo and since I know Virgos verrrrrrrrry well (my bestie), if he is saying anything, he is saying to look at him and do as he does. Bc as a Virgo, he thinks yall can be dumb sometimes even if he finds it cute. Relax, wash your hands, clean your room. Don't be gross. Take a shot (if ur of age- chill) and chill out. This is a period in which resting is okay as long as we do not lose our passion. Take a break. Come back. Don't forget why we are doing this. Don't forget why we were so upset- because it was never about simply only wanting Seunghan back- it is about what having him back represented and still would represent: his innocence, changing of times, the legal accountability fans need to have on their foul actions, and the accountability the company needs to take for their idiotic choices. Don't forget, but don't be negative. Use positive rhetoric to show those things WILL happen- or rather, have already* happened.

[sugarybisous]

how to be successful and study like elle woods ♡︎

“many people will tell you you can’t do something don’t let one of those people be you.”

BE CONFIDENT AND DONT UNDERMINE YOURSELF.

despite elle’s counselor trying to use her 4.0 gpa in fashion merchandising as her weakness and probably not taking her serious as a “intelligent” person at all, elle definitely used it as her strength and didn’t let that discourage her from pursuing harvard. it was a theme in the movie where people constantly misjudged elle based off of her appearance but she always shone bright regardless as she knew what she was capable of.

-drown negative opinions and ones that don’t serve you.

-highlight the things you’ve accomplished and the things you are good at.

-don’t be afraid to shine brightly as who you are.

-self validate yourself.

-be true to who you are not to who everyone else is.

-silence your self doubt.

PLAN ACCORDINGLY AND HOLD YOURSELF ACCOUNTABLE.

“if you fail to plan you plan to fail.”

elle started to learn about the lsats immediately after knowing she was going to apply for harvard. this prepared her for what was to come and she held herself accountable by studying instead of partying, not to mention studying long hours and doing practice tests, she put the work in to get the results she wanted.

-start planning by becoming more familiar about the things you need to learn.

-write everything out in a planner.

-make sacrifices temporarily to reach your long term goals.

HAVE A GOOD SUPPORT GROUP AND BE KIND TO EVERYONE. (including yourself)

elle’s friends were supportive of her while she studied for harvard even if they didn’t completely understand it. the people you choose to surround yourself are important because they have the ability to change your mindset on things. elle was a kind person to everyone and in return people wanted to do nice things for her back, like when she helped that guy get a date and he helped her get a book she couldn’t reach in the library.

-have friends who you can study with and friends that will cheer you on.

-show kindness to everyone you meet but stand up for yourself when necessary like what elle did.

STUDY IN DIFFERENT ENVIRONMENTS.

elle had different places where she studied, on the treadmill, outside while warner was playing football with his clasmates, while she was getting her hair done, with a friend that was helping her practice for the lsats, studying in a different environment is fun and can increase the chances of you focusing!

-study at a cafe.

-ask a friend if they want to have a study date.

-study somewhere comfortable outside.

-study in a new place in your house.

DO NOT SUPPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS.

a healthy thing that elle did was allowing herself to feel troubling emotions. when warner broke up with her she took the time she needed to cry and let it all out. this is a very healthy habit instead of suppressing everything inside for it to explode randomly later on.

-let yourself feel upsetting emotions and comfort yourself like your own best friend.

-journal your thoughts.

-mediate.

EXERCISE GIVES YOU ENDORPHINS AND ENDORPHINS MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY!

exercise!! even though elle was crunched on time and had to use majority of it studying she didn’t self neglect herself and took care of her body and mind by taking care of herself while she studied on the treadmill and at the salon! exercising is proven to help your emotions and to help you feel your best physically which is exactly what we need when we are studying too!

-create a schedule for when you can get some exercise in.

-choose an exercise that is right for you! ex: yoga, pilates, going on a run or walk, ballet, going to the gym, working out at home and etc!

MAKE LEARNING FUN!

elle was known for her signature pink everything and that included pink school supplies and cute supplies! everything doesn’t have to be dull and boring, buy supplies you need that you think is cute and that you like! buy different shaped note pads like elle’s heart shaped one!

-buy cute stationary! ex: pens, pencils, laptop covers, notebooks, highlighters, sticky notes, etc!

and there you have it! this was HIGHLY requested in my inbox, and @2pretty has a very very helpful post on how to study like elle woods too! <3

[felassan]

GamesRadar: "It felt like we needed to do something": How Varric Tethras went from nearly being left out of Dragon Age: The Veilguard to becoming a foundational character

Interview | Exploring the role of Varric Tethras in Dragon Age: The Veilguard with BioWare's creative director, John Epler

Excerpts under cut due to spoilers.

John Epler: "Varric is such a fan favorite, and has been part of Dragon Age since Dragon Age 2 – it felt like we needed to do something. At the end of the game, it's very clear that a chapter of Dragon Age is being closed, even as a new one is being started, and having Varric involved in the ending and that final beat in the way that he was felt right to us."

""While it may have "felt right" for Varric to be in Dragon Age: The Veilguard and factor into its ending in this way, says Epler, it took some time for the team to come to that conclusion. With such a long development cycle, the loveable dwarf wasn't even part of the story at one stage. "It's interesting, because in some of our earliest versions of what we wanted to do for Dragon Age 4, Varric was not actually involved. Varric was doing his own thing as the Viscount of Kirkwall," Epler says. "But I think especially as we got to the version of Dragon Age: The Veilguard that shipped, it felt very strange to have a story about Solas not also include Varric. For us, having them [Solas and Varric] exist in contrast throughout the story - obviously, with Varric being something existing entirely in Rook's mind - provides different ways of looking at the core theme, which is regret." As Epler explains, Varric is "not someone who does a good job of confronting his regret", whether that be in Inquisition when it comes to his love interest and crossbow namesake, Bianca, or with his brother in DA2. Rook, on the other hand, is forced to confront them, while Solas's regrets "drive everything he does." He's a character that "refuses to be happy, refuses to feel joy, because he feels it'd be a betrayal of his people, of what he's done". But as Epler adds, having Varric "be the kind of linchpin" around which all the regrets hinge "felt powerful". Varric may not be good at confronting his own regrets, but his death and role eventually pushes Rook to face theirs, and in turn, you can try to help Solas get past his own if you so choose.""

"Without a mark on your hand like the Inquisitor in Dragon Age: Inquisition, or an army you can bring together like the Grey Warden in Dragon Age: Origins, Rook is "just a person with a team", as Epler puts it, so you have to make sure that they're as ready as possible to face what's to come. [...] Epler says Varric felt like a natural character to juxtapose Solas. Acting kind of like "the angel and the devil on your shoulder", Solas - while not actually a devil - is the one who's more focused on the mission and goal of stopping the gods, while Varric constantly reminds you that your team matters and you need to take care of them first and foremost. The decision to kill Varric early on was partly fueled by a worry that people would find Solas "a little too sympathetic in his goals". From past experience, Epler says the team saw a lot of that with The Trespasser DLC, where many really wanted to help Solas and believed he was right. But he is going to end the world, after all, and once you realize the twist about Tethras' true fate, Varric serves to demonstrate that "Solas will sacrifice almost anyone or anything in pursuit of what he sees as the greater good." But even if he is willing to go to extreme lengths, Solas does still regret what happens to his old friend. In fact, Epler explains that he even finds it comforting to think that Varric is still out there in some form. "Varric's a complex character," says Epler. "He runs away from his problems, he likes to shade the truth, even to the people that he's working with. The Varric that you see, the Varric that Rook experiences, [are] the best parts of Varric that Rook remembers. It's just this mentor figure that's always there for them. And I think even Solas finds some comfort in knowing that there's still a piece of him out there, even though he knows that it's manipulation, it's not the real Varric."

""DA2 starts with a character death about 45 minutes in, when your siblings dies. And the feedback we got, which was very fair feedback is, 'okay, but I don't care, because I've known this person for like, 45 minutes'. So having Varric die at the beginning, originally that was it. He was going to die, and it was going to be this big, shocking moment," Epler says. "But part of the problem with making a game 10 years after the last one, and needing to make it so existing players – but also new players – can get in and feel a lot of the same things, is you can't bank on two games worth of built up memories, built up attachment, to make the death land. For a lot of players it would have been like, 'okay, but I've only known this guy for 45 minutes. So why do we care?'" In order to still have the death at the beginning of the game, the team eventually landed on the idea of his not-so-real presence in the Lighthouse in order to give players more time with Varric. "And that's the beauty of game development," Epler adds, "something that you start off with as a way to solve a problem actually becomes so core to the identity game.""

"Varric Tethras was originally brought to life by Mary Kirby, a veteran developer who has worked on the Dragon Age series for many years at BioWare. Sadly, she was part of the layoffs last year, but as Epler fondly highlights, Kirby wrote the vast majority of the conversations you have with Varric. "She was one of the first people we told 'Hey, so we're talking about killing Varric, you're okay with this, right?' Because at that time, she wasn't even on the project," Epler says. "But Mary was fantastic to work with, she and I worked [together in the past]. I was Varric's cinematic designer for Inquisition and for DA2. There are a couple of things that came up towards the end of the project that I had an opportunity to write. And it was lovely to remind myself how Mary had always written Varric, and how that character came together.""

[source]

[zekeyboy]

I love apprentice adam as much as the next guy. Probably more than the next guy to be honest considering i want him to be alive so badly. HOWEVER. Let’s be real. Apprentice adam is so unlikely to exist for many many reasons.

Adam is not like Lawrence ideology-wise. Lawrence is an upper class white guy who like. he views his life to be ruined by these scum. these people lesser than him (ex. adam, for stalking him & photographing him, tapp, for going off the edge, so on and so forth) and its expanded on when we see the deleted scene from saw 7 where kramer talks to gordon about how like the bottom rung of society will always pull the good men down with them or whatever. like the fact that there was one trap where kramer puts a homeless man in the glass coffin and he has to like. eat shards of glass that got cut. really hammers in how kramer really views people - and in turn, the ideologies he pushes onto Lawrence. Adam is a highschool drop-out who’s, presumably, very involved in punk culture. He was originally supposed to have a huge photo of a Cuban revolutionary on the wall of his apartment. He’s probably never had a real job. In the original script, he’s very open about hating cops. He is the complete opposite of “Important White Male” Lawrence Gordon - and the perfect counter to Lawrence’s game (because, let’s be real - it was always Lawrence centric. I will come back to this later.)

Adam has always been considered the lower level of society. A “bottom-feeder.” He’s a drop-out, his line of work is very illegal, and - judging from the Scott Tibbs documentary, he’s been in that kind of crowd for a while and has forced himself to adapt to it. Trying to keep my personal view of Adam out of this analysis, he’s definitely spent a lot of time around the kind of people that kramer views as scum. He’s also, unsurprisingly, very sweet at his core. Look at how he talks to Amanda in the deleted SAW III scene, how he jokes around with those ladies. He’s like. A nice guy. Scott Tibbs even says so. Lawrence, however, isn’t the kindest. He might put on a face of nice, good guy, but he’s.. What people might expect Adam to be at their core.

Lawrence had his life together, and was dragged down by a bad decision. Adam has a different view and perspective on the world than Lawrence does. he was never at the top and pulled down. he’s been at the bottom and he works with what he has and i really like. i dont think that surviving his trap would change his perspective. i don’t think he would suddenly realize why kramer does what he does. It really wouldn’t help him. However, even if he was going to change his view of the world…

John Kramer does NOT like that guy. Like it’s very clear how biased he is here. Adam’s tape doesn’t even have rules. He doesn’t have a goal. He’s simply told that he might die, that he’s pathetic, and that he needs to ‘do something about it.’ He isn’t given rules, he isn’t given a consequence, he’s given such vague instructions. Lawrence, however, gets clear rules. Kill Adam by 6, or you and your family die.

The kicker, to me, is the fact that Lawrence fails his test. He doesn’t kill Adam by 6. He fails his test. Adam, however, is still alive at 6 - which would imply that he won. Now, I understand that the key was in the tub and that’s how he was supposed to get out. But even without that aspect of it going down the drain and him being doomed from the start, Kramer has a clear biased perspective on the two of them.

Lawrence failed, and is going to die. Adam didn’t fail - it was a design flaw, if anything, and he’s paying for it. Why does John save Lawrence, but not Adam?

It’s not Adam’s test, is the reason. It’s very focused on Lawrence. Anybody could’ve been in Adam’s place - he just had the bad luck of being selected as the photographer by Tapp. Adam was only used as a tool to counteract Lawrence - similar to the janitor in Saw VI for Easton. Adam was never intended to survive, but more to be used as a tool to teach.

Kramer, also, isn’t very fond of impoverished people. Amanda is a special case - but she’s almost more of a trophy if anything. If I got into John and Amanda’s relationship it’d have to be a completely new post, but he’s the kind of person who thinks that you just have to pick yourself up by the bootstraps i think. The fact that he, as I mentioned before, has a deleted trap where he puts a homeless person in the original glass coffin…. Is enough for me to figure out how he really views people below him.

I could probably go on. I probably will go on in my head. I’m very bad at organizing my thoughts. I hope this was comprehensive. I did my best to not accidentally mix in my own personal Adam thoughts that aren’t canon to the films (i have a lot.)

[my-pjo-stuff]

I was rereading the pjo books to write fanfiction and all. I stumbled on a lot of mischaracterization, you pointed a lot of them, specially about how Rick keeps trying to make big world events include his characters(probably to make it easier to kids and all).

But one thing that always piss me off is how he makes the demigods so one sided, a demigod has to have a specific personality because of their divine heritage, one example I see a lot is Annabeth, specially from the first books.

My question is, how would you change them?

And btw, love your blog, throwing straight facts❤️❤️

Aww thank you so much! And also to be quite frank, I never even thought of that. I was so focused on more glaring writing issues that I completely glossed over that- but now that I give it some thought....Yeah, you're right. You are SO right. And here's what I would do : Starting off with Annabeth since you mentioned her, for her I'd probably bring in more hints towards her being basically raised by Luke. As it stands in the books their relationship is mostly tell-don't-show with the exception of maybe BoTL and TLO. So to counteract that I'd give her more rebellious streaks, and especially make her more skeptical towards the gods. She saw what they did to Luke and Thalia- so having her just blindly follow them seems a bit....weird. You don't need her to be outright resentful ofc, I'd change it towards Annabeth being a "just learn to live with the shitty situation bc we can't change it " instead of a "this is fine actually!" type of character. I'd also include her "ADHD" more, show her actual struggle with classical school stuff. Show that intelligence doesn't equal wisdom, maybe even make her relatively bad in school due to lacking the normal education children her age should have recieved. Clarisse meanwhile I'd actually make smarter. War, as brutal as it is, also included a lot of strategy. Her goal was to make her father proud by victory in battle. So I'd keep her personality and general attitude the same, but make it so that she was also a good battle strategist. She could study historic battles, aswell as have a great amount of knowledge on weapons. Basically make Clarrise that one classmate in high school who was able to list all the tanks of WW2 by full name alongside their functions and other stats, ASWELL as a war history buff. It would keep her original war like personality while showing that Ares kids are very much not stupid. I'd probably try to give Nico some more nerdy aspects back. He still a teen even if he "grew out of it" and it WAS quite a big part of his character when he was first introduced. I'd have him be genuinely passionate about some topic- perhaps a favorite show or even just mythology. Mainly so Nico can have something to actually make him happy and to be excited about instead of just being "emo, dark, angsty Hades kid". Will Solace I'd give literally any kind of characterization before he got it on with Nico. The Aphrodite cabin as a whole would get a LOT of sisterly bonding from me. Like instead of having them be the "catty, dumb, mean girls of camp" make them the tightest-knit cabin. Show them actually bonding and being genuinely protective with each other. Also give Aphrodite some sons. That's all I can rly think about in the moment, feel free to add something if anyone has any ideas!

[orgverse]

san's red hair got me and @sanjoongie going crazzzyyyyy. so please enjoy this while i make topaz suffer. N E WAYS this is also apart of a pornstar au that i'm currently working on, so enjoy!!

for the two, almost three, years you have known san, he has always had black hair. you remember watching videos and seeing him with different colored hair, but never in person. when him and wooyoung had reached out wanting to film a video with you and hongjoong, he had just cut and dyed his hair back to black from the blonde mullet he hand. and since then its been black.

so you were throughly surprised when you opened your apartment door and was greeted with bright red hair. your jaw dropped, literally. you probably would have started drooling if san didn't start teasing you. "you'll catch flies, star girl."

you were def going to be seeing stars soon.

san had volunteered to help you with your stream tonight since seonghwa was away visiting his parents, and hongjoong was busy editing the film you just finished shooting with yunho.

"no wooyoung?" you asked when you noticed the louder of the two males nowhere in sight.

"nah, he says he wants to stay home and watch the stream instead. think he said something about wanting to support his fav girl," he told you he walked into the apartment and removed his designer shoes. you noted how sexy san looked with his entire outfit. simple, but san was good at making simple look sexy.

his black tank top doing well to show off his muscles and his slim waist, and his jeans hugging his body nice and framing what little ass he has. but you won't tell him that because he would argue he does have an ass. sure, san, sure. he takes off the jean jacket he had been wearing and hangs it over the computer chair that seonghwa usually sits in.

he towers over you as he watches you pull up the website, love-heart-xx, and set up the stream. you remember san mentioning how he had streamed too back before he stopped and focused solely on just porn films.

"you're setup is very cute. very you," san says when you get up to let him sit down. that's when he finally takes a few moments to look around the room.

"o-oh, you think so?" you ask, a little caught off guard by his words. san nods his head, red hair bouncing with the movement.

"all the decorations are cute and welcoming, it makes it feel like its your personal bedroom and not a separate one. it feels... lived in," he explains and you feel a heat spread through your body at his words.

you've always admired san, having watched him since he first started his career in the porn industry. you kind of wish you found him when he still streamed. it had always been a goal – a dream actually, to film with him.

and now he's helping you with your stream. un-fucking-real.

"well, i'm going to go get ready! i'll be right back!" san doesn't say anything, but nods his head and gives you a smile before you're turning and walking out of the room.

walking into your actual bedroom you share with hongjoong, you find your lover sitting at his computer, headphones on, and eyes focused on the video editing program in front of him. you notice he's at the part where you and yunho were making out. yunho's hand holding your chin as his tongue licks over your own before he's sucking on it. you remember that scene and knowing what comes next makes you rubs your thighs together.

no, you needed to get changed. walking over to your walk-in closet, you go over to the section that was specific for streaming. you dug through your clothes before pulling out a dark blue lingerie set. when you walked out of the closet, you noticed hongjoong had his headphones off and was turned facing your direction.

"hey, babe," you said putting the lingerie on the bed before you take your shirt off. you notice hongjoong is looking at you, his eyes focused on how your breast bounced a little before you're taking your shorts and underwear off.

"i thought i heard you sneak in. is san here?" he asks and you nod your head as you step into the blue lingerie bottoms before putting the bra on. you look at yourself in the full-length mirror, turning to look at every part of you. "does this look good?"

hongjoong lets out a sigh before he's standing up and making his way over to you. his arm wrapping around your waist as he takes in your appearance. "you look beautiful," he says kissing your neck. he gives your ass a good pat before he walking back over to his desk.

"are you going to try and watch some of the stream?" you ask, making your way over to the door. hongjoong nods giving you a smile.

"of course, i'll do my best to pop in."

"okay! so usually seonghwa just sits here and kind of moderates chat. usually while i'm talking to chat, he'll jump in, but you don't have to if you don't want to," you tell san as you sit on the bed. you look at yourself in the monitor setup in front of you as you attempted to make sure you looked good. "do i look okay?" you ask, looking towards san.

"perfect," he says making you look away from him, a little flustered.

"you can go ahead and hit the button, san," you tell him shyly. he lets out a small chuckle before he's clicking the 'start stream' button and you watch as the stream starts and viewer start pouring in.

"hi guys!" you say, smile overtaking your face as you wave to the camera. the chat on the side of the screen being filled with your usual watchers greeting you. tips easily coming in. "i'm doing good tiger-star! hope you're doing well! ... oh! you like this piece, rubyred? i'm glad you like it, i've been wanting to wear it for a while!"

san watches you with a smile on his face. he takes in how natural you look interacting with your chat and... chatting with them.

"oh!" you say clapping your hands and earning san's attention, "seonghwa couldn't be here today... i know sunshine-sparkle, i'm sad too, but! we have a lovely person who agreed to cover for him tonight! ... no hotpants it is not patrick star," you deadpanned that last part making san chuckle. "sannie is here!" you say looking towards the male how leans forward just enough to stick his hand in front of the camera.

mega_yn_fan : holy shit THE choi san!!!

guylovescheese : FUCK! how much to see him fuck your pussy???

a_lexa_star22 : i would gladly pay to see that happen!

"do you think they want me to fuck you?" he teases making you let out a small laugh. suddenly, you see a rather large tip come in making you almost fall off the bed from how far you leaned over to look at it.

"holy shit! thank you wooenergizer for the three thousand dollar tip," you say, still not comprehending the sudden amount.

"oh, that's wooyoung!" san says, right before you read the message he also sent in with the tip.

"three thousand to see sannie finger you," you read out loud, feeling flustered by the message. wooyoung really had no self-control or filter.

san lets out a chuckle before he's standing up from his seat and crawling onto the bed next to you.

"if chat gets to ten thousand i'll fuck this pretty pussy," san says, spreading your legs to gently pat your clothed cunt. "sound good?" san adds before looking at you and you nod your head.

you let out a breathy moan, hips jerking forward as san fucks you hard and fast with his fingers. the wet sounds from your pussy mingling in with your moans, your manicured nails digging into san's thighs. he had removed his pants a while ago, leaving him in just his tank top and underwear. you feel his hard-on rubbing against your backside.

his other hand gropes your breast, your bra being pulled down to let your breast out. he pinches your nipples and gives it a good tug making you let out a whine at the feeling.

"s-sannie, please so-s-so good, fuck!" you say, tilting your head back to let it rest on san's shoulder. you could feel the tension rising within you, your orgasm coming soon. you attempted to close your legs but san didn't let you.

he pulls his fingers out of you and you whine at the empty feeling. san uses both his hands to spread your legs, throwing them over his own legs to keep them open. you moaned at how you could see your pussy on full display to for everyone watching. your pussy dripping with juices that run out of you and you can see it glistening under the lights.

you yelp, jumping and whole body bouncing when san suddenly gave your pussy a good smack before he's rubbing furious circles on your clit. "s-s-sa-san!"

"look at that, star girl, your chat got us to five thousand. that's halfway. should we switch it up?" he asks and you wonder who's he's talking to.

"hm... hungry2ho says they want you to sit on my face. i don't know hungry, do you think y/n's been a good girl enough to sit on my face?" san asks and you clench at the thought of sitting on san's face. he suddenly grabs your face, turning you to look at him. his eyes half-lidded as he meets your lustful and almost fucked out ones. "do you think you deserve to sit on my face?"

"p-ple-please san, i-i've been good! let me please," you're begging him now and san can't help the smirk that paints his lips.

"well~ since you asked so nicely, who am i to deny my pretty star girl," san says and you can feel your thighs tremble. "open your mouth," his voice is commanding and you do it without a second thought. you let out a loud moan as you watch san spit in your mouth, allowing it to run down your tongue and throat. "such a nasty girl. no wonder wooyoung is so fond of you, just like him," he says before moving to lay on his back, his bright red hair a heavy contrast to the cream-colored bedsheets.

"oh fuck– san, san! your tongue feels soooo good~" you say with a moan as you rock your hips back and forth. san had a tight gripped wrapped around your legs and waist as he kept you pinned down to mouth. his nose bumped against your clit, rubbing and stimulating it nicely as his tongue licked and fucked your pussy.

you glanced down, running your hand through his soft hair to see his eyes staring intensely at you. he stare honestly made your heart skip a beat as you felt his moans vibrate through you and shake your core. san kneaded the flesh of your ass before giving it a firm smack. the sound resonating through the room and you were sure anyone watching could have heard it.

wooenergizer : look at how you're falling apart on sannie's tongue 👅 can't wait to see you fall apart on his dick... again 🍆💦

you couldn't but let out a hearty laugh at wooyoung's comment before you see others in the chat agree with him. knowing wooyoung was still watching also made your heart skip a beat, because along with san, wooyoung had also been someone you admired within the industry.

"mmh~ san, fuck so good! i think i'm gonna cum!" you say, letting your head roll back a little as you grind your hips again, san's nose once again nudging at your clit.

"hold it, pretty star," san says, voice just as stern and intense as his eyes. you feel yourself clench when you notice the lower half of his face is glistening with your juices.

"sannie," you say, hand running through his hair as your other one runs over your body, feeling yourself and groping one of your breast. "please fuck me."

"i don't think your viewers want me to fuck you. you're still only at eight thousand," san says in a rather mocking tone.

"fuck– please, please let sannie fuck me! i need his cock so badly!" you beg looking at the camera and indirectly looking at your viewers. your eyes were pleading with them and hoping that your begging would convince them to continuing to tip you.

fuck, you felt like such a cock slut right now. but you couldn't deny how good san's cock was and how badly you wanted it.

and then it happened. you heard the familiar sound of being tipped and you immediately had to do a double take on it.

k.yeosang tipped $5,000.

your viewers must have seen the tip as well as the chat immediately exploded in excitement at the tip, knowing it was only a matter of time before they got to see you take san's dick.

"yeosang!" you say, chest warming when you realized it the male who had donated to you. "thank you so much! wow, you definitely didn't have to tip that much, but i really appreciate it!" you say, sliding off of san and letting him sit up so he could see the tip as well. he ran a hand down your back, noticing how your legs slightly trembled.

k.yeosang : make sure to invite me next time 😉

"i'll def keep in it mind, yeo," you say, not being able to stop the smile that overtakes you. you feel san pressing open mouthed on your neck and trailing down your back. you allow san to to move you so you're resting on your hands and knees, and you can't help the yelp that escapes you when you feel san gently bite your ass. you watch yourself and san through the monitor, feeling your excitement start to swell up as he removes his underwear and tossing them to the floor. you arch your ass, high into the air and gently sway it in an attempt to tempt san to move faster.

you moan as you see him pump his cock. the angry red tip, leaking with precum which his is using to lube himself. "s-sannie," you call out earning the male's attention. he smirks, running a hand through his hair before he's positioning himself at your entrance. you couldn't help the breathy moans that left you as san entered you. stretching you out, but sucking him in nonetheless.

"you sound like a bitch in heat, y/n," he laughs as he gently positions you, hands gripping your hips as he starts off with a harsh and fast pace. your mouth was fixed in a perfect o-shape, unable to close it and also so easily lost in pleasure that you couldn't make a sound.

having san fuck you was like a new experience, each and every time. of course it was mainly different because of the films you did together. each scenario being different enough from the last that it gave you a new experience each time.

and this time was no different. you couldn't help but shove your face into the sheets. wanting a moment to just feel san's cock abused your insides, yet the sudden sting to your scalp said otherwise. san held your hair harshly, gripping it to the point it was almost painful.

"don't hide your face, y/n, your viewers paid good money to see you get fucked by me. don't make them waste their money," san says as you feel him rest his body weight on top of you.

"i-i'm sorry!" you said, however who you were saying it to, you weren't sure. you felt tears start to brim your waterline, but thankful san let go of your hair in favor of using both his hands to prop himself up. the sound of skin slapping skin ringed in your ears. his cock rubbed against your walls, stretching you out over and over again and it made start to see small white stars in your vision.

"s-san! sansansan so-s-so fuuuucking good! ugh– please, please let me cum!" san presses a kiss between your shoulder blades before he's thrusting even harder. the tension in your stomach building up, waiting to snap and explode any moment now.

"fuck, i am too, my star. gonna let me cum inside you? give your viewers a good creampie?"

"yes! fuck, yes! fill me up!" you begged, you noticed your arms were now in front of you, hanging off the edge of the bed. you swear you feel a line drool run down your chin, but you arms feel so much like jelly that you don't have the energy to wipe it away. not that you care anyways.

then suddenly, you feel san pulling out and you feel your approaching orgasm quickly escaping you. you're about to scream, throw a fit before san is hoisting you up off your stomach on onto your knees. you are left slightly confused and dazed before san is entering you again. his arms hooking underneath yours to keep you up right. this new position allowing everyone to get a good few of san fucking your pussy.

"go ahead and cum," you hear him whisper and just like that, the coil snaps inside of you and your cumming with a loud and well... pornographic moan. san gives you a few more thrusts before he's sheathing himself deep inside of you and also cumming inside of you with a low groan.

you are out of breath, covered in a layer of sweat when san pulls out of you and quickly positions you on the bed. legs spread wide apart before he's getting off the bed. you watch him with dazed eyes as he picks the camera up – you want to complain about how he's ruined the perfect position you spent months working to find, but you don't have the energy to say anything. instead you watch him as he does a close up on your pussy which slowly begins to leak out his cum.

his fingers come to spread your pussy lips, showing off how much cum he truly stuff you with before he's scooping some up on his fingers. "fuck look at how well he's took him, such a good pussy," you hear him say at one point.

then san is panning the camera up to your fucked out face, his cum-covered finger easily slipping inside your open mouth. you have just enough energy to eagerly suck on his finger, tongue licking up his cum and cleaning his fingers. when he's sure your done, he removes them with a pop sound the rings around the room.

"tell your viewers bye," san says in a cheery tone making you smile at both him and the camera.

"bye-bye~" you say smiling, waving, and blowing several kisses to the camera that goes further away from you as san goes over to the computer to end the livestream.

san put the camera back on the tripod before he coming over to the bed. he pulls you more towards the edge of it by your ankles and you laugh at how easily he does it. his strength showing once again. he rubs circles onto you ankles before he's leaning over you.

"thank you, san," you say pressing a kiss to his cheek. you notice a faint pink dusting san's cheeks as he pulling away from you.

"of course," he says with a cough, "you know i enjoy spending time with you," he says adds on making butterflies swarm around your stomach.

"really?"

"really. now come on, let's get cleaned up and go bother hongjoong for food," san says with a smile as he helps you off the bed and begins walking you towards the door before he's stopping. turning to you before adding, "i would love to do this again soon. maybe even watch you and wooyoung have some fun."

"gosh, shut up and take me to the bathroom, you fool."

[1-800-crscnt]

-jobs I think some clones would have in a post-war “clones are legally seen as people” universe-

Cody: plant + animal farmer. sees it as both a new experience/challenge (land, terrestrial plants and animals) but also slightly similar to what he was used to as a marshal commander. likes the hard work & care required for this lifestyle but cares more about the payoff of it all. will underestimate mint at some point.

Rex: fisherman of some kind. i don’t really have a reason for this, it just seems very likely to me. probably enjoys the peace and solitude it can bring after years of being in the situations he’s been in, but likes the learning aspect and self-sufficient parts of knowing how to fish. could also like the thrill of wrestling large fish that have bodycounts and going to competitions about it, maybe all of these options at once. possibly worries a lot about everyone else and is always sending them photos of him fishing so they respond with their own thing.

Fox: nice try. stays unemployed in a comfortable cabin in some isolated town and loves it. if he needs money, he’ll cash in on favors or do small favors for his brothers.

Wolffe: also tempted to stay unemployed, but gets restless + depressed, becomes a woodworker. doesn’t care about it at first since it’s just a way to get money and stay busy, but develops a liking towards the methodical work and the feeling of creating something very meaningful and/or beautiful with his own hands. ends up liking to create furniture for his brothers getting settled down as a hobby, but creates gothic decorations to sell as his main thing. possibly gets less depressed.

Bly: security guard, would quit, then become a geologist. liked how similar being a security guard was to being a marshal commander at times, but overall hated being reminded of how a lot of people saw/see clones. found more peace in geology bc of how delicate/patient/focused he had to be (helps reinforce his belief that he’s not a violent machine capable of nothing else), also loves learning and sharing knowledge in general. doesn’t really like working with other geologists, tends to not communicate being angry since he’s used to shutting up to get a job done. but he’s dealing. sort of.

Doom: would probably also be unemployed but because he keeps quitting any job after about a month. just can’t find anything that calls to him or keeps him happy, but knows his end goal is to have a life involving lots of plants. doesn’t enjoy being unemployed because he tends to see it as a personal failing on his part, ends up very stressed. Wolffe tries to give advice on just jumping right into plant stuff and making money off it, but Doom is hesitant to make something he loves into a job he might end up hating and quitting again.

Bacara: part-time piercer, part-time bounty hunter. likes to call them both his “piercing jobs” to the discomfort of nearly everyone else. prefers bounty hunting since he thinks it’s more necessary + familiar, but would give it up first if he was forced to only choose one (more stable pay + might live longer). backup plan is to fake his death (unnecessary & regardless of situation) and become a librarian or historian with a fake accent. sort of a nerd anyway, so this isn’t the end of the world for him, and likes how he can get away with dissociating more than he used to.

Neyo: surprisingly, professional racer. refuses to explain how he got this idea, his motives, and where the next event will be, but likes it when his brothers somehow show up. loves the exhilaration, risk (huge adrenaline junkie) and how his outfit looks. also likes the bragging rights. backup plan is to fake his death (again, unnecessary & regardless of situation) and secretly live with Bacara, becoming a chef because he likes working with knives + feeding hungry people fulfills his desire to be useful in some way. has yet to tell Bacara any of this, actually finds not saying anything about it really funny.

[spidybaby]

Wenasss✨ Not me sneaking into your inbox🤭😅 to kindly ask for Bad Kind of Butterflies part II, please and thanks!🤣🫶🏼

Bad Kind of Butterlies | Part Two

Summary: Pedri regrets his actions and tries to get back to you.

Warnings: fighting, cursing. Physical fight. Part one

"Pedri, the ball. Keep your eyes on the fucking ball." Xavi yells. "God, what's going on with you today?"

Pedri can't even look at Xavi in the eyes, he has sis eyes glued to the floor. He can feel the looks of his teammates burning him.

"Miss that ball again, and you're benched." Xavi says, stern tone.

"I'm sorry, Mister."

He tries his best to focus on the ball, trying not to miss it or not miss the goal to the net, but he can't keep his mind on the field.

Gavi, playing with the other half of the team, stole the ball from him, making Oscar sound the little whistle.

He just observes the way Xavi is yelling. Tired and really not that interesting, he can't seem to understand a word that's coming out of his trainers mouth.

The training goes on for another half hour, and then they're all reunited in the salon to plan the next game.

The "Real Madrid vs Barcelona" typical classic.

He focuses all his attention on speech Xavi is giving the team. Turning his head to see Ferran typing something on his phone.

He makes the lining, Xavi kept his promise and bench him for the next game. Leaving the possibility of getting back if he improves in this next two trainings.

"Estas bien?" Ferran asks, taking him to the side for them to be alone.

"I'm not sure." He sincerely says. He can't keep secrets ti Ferran. "I just need to keep my head around what's important."

"And she's not?"

"The thought of her is making me be benched. I think I had enough of her for the rest of the week."

He turns to the dressing room, ready to collect his belongings and leave. No shower, no nothing.

But to his bad luck, Ferran is quicker and stops him by the arm. "You can't keep doing this. This is not healthy, Pedro."

"What am I supposed to do?" He angrily says, removing his arm from the hold of his friend. "She won't listen to me, she changed her number, she changed her apartment building. It's like she disappeared."

Ferran was holding the bitter "I told you" He had been keeping since after the party.

When a very angry Gavi told him about the words Eric said to his date and then to Pedro, he was pissed, he wanted to fight him. But, like a rational person, he calmed Gavi down and helped fixing the situation.

What he could help was the disaster Pedri did, yelling at you and fighting with gavi over the words of Eric. Words he warned him about.

"Just please call me if you need anything." He pats Pedri on the back and walks to the showers.

He nods, grabbing his stuff and walking back to his car. He wants to run away from everything and everyone.

Once he makes it to his car, his head feels like it's going to blow up. He'd dizzy and tired.

The way his heart is pounding like crazy and he feels like passing out scares him. This isn't news to him. He was having a panic attack.

He tries to breathe, counting things like you thought him. Five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.

Once he's calmed enough to at least drive himself home, he calls Fer, asking him to be home "I need you, Fer." He says crying.

His brother was worried, his whole family was. He wasn't the sweet, happy and very enthusiastic boy they known. He was now this confused and sad looking boy.

Pedri can't even seem to move upstairs to his room, he can't help the tear falling down, he can't help the blame he feels.

His relationship with Pablo was broken, his relationship with Eric is almost non existent. All thanks to him.

He can't blame Eric for it, he was the one who did all the bad stuffs, hitting your friend, hurting you by not trusting you.

He remembered your words like if you were just telling them to him.

"You're not dumb. You're such a smart man. So I need you to use that intelligence to understand that if you keep doing this shit, you're losing me."

But did he lost you?

He wanted to heard you voice, wanted to hear about that interview you told him about the day of the wedding. He wanted to hear about your new workout routine.

But he can't, because everytime he calls you he hit voice-mail. Everytime he goes looking for you he remembers that a new person lives in that apartment. Everytime he tried to look up for your social media profiles you weren't there.

"And that fucking sucks." He tells Fer, not knowing how else express his feelings.

Fer understand the struggle you both are going through, from his brother side is the blame of making you leave and not being the man you deserved. And he also understand that you want Pedri to change and to fight for you.

Ferran and Fer tried his best to talk to you and convinced you to give Pedri a chance. Thing you denied, you made a promise to yourself, he needed to prove to you that he changed.

You wanted the relationship you had before, the trust, the unconditional love. You wanted to feel joy again, to feel like you could be with him again.

You can't say you had it worse, but you were struggling as well. Sira had to force out of bed and to a local park. You cried like a child in her lap, telling her how much you needed him.

"You don't need someone who can't make an effort of changing. You need to understand that."

She was right, you needed someone who will be there for you in bad and good. During hard and easy.

"Good morning sunshine." Sira yells opening the curtains. The sun hit directly to your face, making you groan and turn around.

"oh, no ma'am." she pulls the duvet in a quick motion. "I made breakfast, get up."

She gave you five minutes to wash your face and brush your teeth. You can't help to feel a little annoyed at the wake-up call Sira pulled.

"Eat, please." She serves the breakfast to you, giving you a fork and a kiss on the cheek.

The day was bright, the sun was shining so much, the view from your apartment was breathtaking, making you feel happy instantly.

"I can't believe we're going to graduate tomorrow." Sira yells while doing a little dance. "I'm so happy for us."

"I am too, thank you for sticking up to me after all this time."

You walk over to her, giving her a big hug. She separates a little, reaching for the grad hat you have in the corner, putting it up on you.

When you broke up with Pedri you had a very bad time, you were in denial, somehow blaming yourself for the things that happened.

Then was the rage, it was not your fault, it was Eric's and Pedro's fault. He was the one believing the disturbing mind of Eric.

Then came the sadness, you were crying like crazy, in the shower, at the movies when Sira and Kyle took you out, at the parking lot of the building.

And now you're just blue.

"We have to go get the dresses, eat and let's go."

When the lease for your apartment concluded. You wanted to move to a smaller place, wanting something more "home like"

Sira was not okay with the decision, she convinced her parents on sharing a Apartment with you while you both figure your life out.

The moving was heartbreaking for you, specially because you couldn't run away from the memories.

"When you graduate, we're moving together. We can remodel the house, giving it your touch, make this place our home."

You used to laugh, thinking it was crazy for him to think about settling down at barely twenty one. "You'll change your mind, Pepi. "

But he cut you off, telling you that there was no other thing in his mind. He can't picture a future without you in it.

"I invite Pablo to the ceremony, and Fernando." You confess.

"Are you sure about that?" She asked worried. "I mean, Pablo I guess but Fer?"

"My family isn't coming, so I have the tickets and the closest thing to a family here is you, your family that is already attending and the González."

"Okay, if you think that's the right think to do, I'm not saying anything."

🪷🪷🪷

"Squish, all of you, let me take a picture." Luis Enrique says. "Okay, in three, two, one, cheese!."

You smile, arm around Sira and Karla.

After what felt like a whole photoshoot, Sira was ready to greet some family members that joined the ceremony.

"Y/n!" you heard at the distance.

You turn around, looking for the voice. It was your favorite angry bird. The big white bouquet of flowers doesn't go unnoticed.

"Felicidades, preciosa." He hugs you with one hand, the flowers getting in the middle of that. "Oops, sorry. This is for you."

"Thank you, Pablito." You hug him carefully this time. "Thank you for coming."

"I was happy when you sent me the invite, Sam says hi and congratulations."

"Are you coming to my party?"

Pablo was about to answer but someone calling you name again interrupting him.

"Fer!" You say, happily about seeing him again. "Thank you for coming." You say, getting squish between his arms.

"Felicidades, hermanita." He kiss your cheek. "Mom and dad are so proud of you, they send their congratulations to you."

You smile at him, the warmth your heart is feeling is making you blush. "Thank you." You whisper. "Pablito and you need to tell me if you're coming tonight."

"I will, what about you, Fer?"

"I can't wait."

PabloGavi has added to his story

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🪷🪷🪷

"Okay, it's game day time. Let's finish preparing ourselves, and let's go warm up." Oscar says, excited about the match against RMA.

"Pedri, can I have a minute outside, please." Xavi calls.

He was trying his best to concentrate, head in the game. Even if that sounds like a high school musical thing to say.

"Mira, I know I said that I was benching you." Xavi began, making Pedri nod. "I'm going to make an exception, I'm making Marc play for twenty minutes then you're in."

"I promise that I won't lose the ball." He smiles like the cat in Alice in wonderland. "Gracias, Mister."

Xavi pats his back, smiling back at him. He knows that Pedri has the range, he just needs to take it out in the right place. The field.

Pedri has added to his story

"Finally, a game that was worth to watch." Kyle says, eating the remaining pop corn from the bowl.

This game was very important for the Barcelona, they needed this game to keep themselves at the top of La Liga.

And they did it. They won.

Pedri scored a game thanks to Pablo's passing the ball to him.

"He played really good." Karla comments.

"Yeah, he did." You whisper.

You were proud of him, he was your golden boy after all.

You remembered the first game you went to. He gifted you a shirt with his number. He sent a car to come get you.

That was the first gol he ever dedicated to you. You remember the way you felt, the smile on his face, the aura of the stadium. It was simply magical.

And now you're supporting him from the comfort of your home. Because no matter what, he was all that to you.

But where you still all that to him?

You always kept those thoughts for yourself, your friends were done with you talking about him. Always ending up crying.

"So are we going out tonight?" Karla asks, turning the TV off.

"I don't know if I want to go out guys." You say, washing the dishes from the dinner. "I'm not feeling well."

"A Tylenol and were out and about, my lady." Sira says laughing at your face.

"Fine, but I don't want to he out till five in the morning, please."

"Deal."

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The party was good, you ended up not inviting Kyle because you were feeling like having a girl's night out.

Karla got invited to a vip club that was on the way of your apartment, you were on your way there.

"We're going to the vip section." She says to the bodyguard at the entrance, showing him a picture. "Thank you."

The club was way fuller than the last one, the aura was way better too.

"Y/n, let's get a drink." Sira yells.

"Let's just take Karla to her friends table and we can go, okay?" You yell back, she nods.

Karla was seeing this dude that was a manager of some new footballers, they were young like in La Masia.

The other dudes at the table invited you to different drinks, since they got special treatment because of their vip status.

Karla has added to her story

You were thankful with your friends, they were making you have so much fun.

"Girls, I'm going to the bathroom." You say to your friends, getting up from your seat and walking to the little outside bathroom they have for the vip rooms.

You got knocked up a little by someone, hitting you shoulder with the door frame. "Fucking idiot." You say to yourself, smoothing the hurt area.

You were washing your hands when someone moved the doorknob, knocking desperately at the door.

"Wait, I'm almost done." You say drying your hands with a paper towel. The person on the other side keeps knocking like crazy. "It's been five seconds like wait." You say.

You open the door and to your surprise the face on the other side of the door is a familiar one. "Y/n?"

"Ferran, hi!"

He walks inside the bathroom, making your way out impossible since he closed the door. "Joer', it's so good to see you." He hugs you for a few seconds.

You can smell the alcohol in his breath, making you scrunch your nose. "Are you alone?" You ask him.

"No, I'm with some friends from Valencia."

"Okay, take care Fer, I need to go back to my friends." You wanted to leave so he can use the bathroom.

"Wait, I want to talk to you." He stops you from opening the door. "Please give me your number."

You think for a few seconds, not sure about the proposal. "What if I wait for you outside?" You smile at him.

"You won't run away?" He asks, you shake your head no. "Pinky promise?" He elevate his pinky finger over to you.

"Pinky promise." You smirk while intertwining fingers with him. "Hurry up." You say, walking outside for him.

A few minutes later you see Ferran dance walk over to you, you smile at this goofiness. You missed that.

"Tell me, Mister paella." You joke, mentioning his nickname you and Pedri gave him.

"I wanted to tell you, more like ask you for a favor." He says breathlessly. "I know you might say no, but I want to try."

You knew where this was going, but you let him continue with his speech. Nodding your head to let him know you heard him and to continue.

"I know that you probably are in a better place and you are moving on, but please heard me out. Pedri is not alright, and you don't own him nothing after the stupid shit he pulled, but please you need to talk to him."

You sigh, you know that he was not having the best development during training or at the matches. Fer told you that already, but he didn't asked for you to reach to him.

"I know I'm asking for too much." He continued. "I'm just out of ideas of what to do with him. Xavi is about to beat his ass, Oscar too, Gavi and him don't even look at each other. We almost beat Eric to the ground with Gavi."

"He deserves that." You scuff. "But I'm not sure what you expect me to do?"

"Can you maybe call him? Or text him?" He asks. "Or I don't know, send him a dm if you don't want to share your number with him."

You think about it for a good minute, you knew that he was struggling, you were too, but you wanted to maybe help him even when he didn't deserved that.

"I'll reach out to him." You finally say. Making Ferran jumps from excitement. "I'll try to find a good time, okay?"

He nods excited, hugging you and giving you a quick kiss in the side of the head. "Thank you, if you need a ride home you can tell me."

"Thank you, I'm good, my friend is driving us." You wave him goodbye. Both of you go back to each vip rooms.

🪷🪷🪷

"Look at this cd" Pablo says, passing the 1989 cd. "What are you doing this December?"

"Well, I was thinking about spending my December here in Barcelona." You say, helping him organizing some pictures. "Aw, young Pablito." You say, showing him the picture.

"Stop that." He laughs. "So you're not going back home?"

"I mean my family is not going to be there, so I might as well be alone here."

"You're welcome to spend time with Sam and with me. Also with my family and me."

"Thank you, crunchy guy." You joke with him.

Now that he's in recovery you can visit him more often. You love watching new movies and shows with him because you have the same taste.

"I want to ask you something." You say, not sure how to approach the topic of Pedri. "But you can tell me if it makes you uncomfortable."

"Okay?" He says, eyes scrunched.

"Ferran and I were at the same club and we find ourselves in the bathroom." You began. "Long story short, he asked me to call Pedri."

"Y/n, I'm not the best to give you advice on this."

"I just need guidance, Pablo." You confess. "I'm not one to ask you anything but just be honest with me."

"Joder" He sighs, hands on his face. "What do you want me to say?"

"How is he?" You ask worried. "Is he doing okay?"

"He came to see me at my recovery the other day." He says, hand scratching his head. "He asked me to forgive him."

You let him take him time to tell you everything.

"We talked and it's not like we are on speaking terms like we used to but we are better."

"That's good, I think you both needed that." You say honestly.

"Now, to answer you. I think he's doing better little by little. He's not the best at hiding his feeling and you know that, he tents to get quiet and death looking." He laughs at the last part. "But, if you want my opinion, I think he needs to fight for you. A call or a text will not harm anyone."

You nod, taking everything he says into consideration. He was right, Pedro had to make some sacrifices for you.

"But, you can do what you think is best." He says, hands in the air.

"Thank you, angry bird." You hug his body, careful with his leg. "Love you."

"Can you show me love in a form of a sandwich?" He asks, batting his eyelashes like a little kid. "Pretty please."

"Just because you're my little baby." You tap his nose with care. Making him laugh. "I'll be back."

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"I was thinking about doing a baking course." You tell Sira, you're at the pool at her parents house. "I want to learn how to do Christmas cookies."

"My mom knows how to, you can ask her to teach you."

"That's better, you're right."

You keep looking at your phone, it's been three weeks since the talk with Ferran and two since the talk with Gavi.

Today they announced that Pedri was feeling some pain in his muscles, so he wasn't training. You know how much that affects Pedro mentally.

"Hey, what if we go change? I kinda want to go shopping." You say, getting out of the pool and walking over to the towel. "You coming?"

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Siramartinezc has added to her story

🪷🪷🪷

"I'm going to take a shower and we can eat, okay?" You say, hands full of bags. "Chao bella, take a shower please."

You leave everything on a chair next to your bed, the phone in your pocket feels heavy, you know you want to make that call.

You dial his phone number, sitting with your legs crossed on your bed. Your heart is beating like crazy.

"Hola"

Your breath is gone, you suddenly lost the ability to talk.

"Hola?" He repeats.

His raspy voice, his heavy breaths when he's trying to catch air. Simply him.

"Hola." You whisper.

Now is his turn to lost the speech ability. He's frozen. It's been months.

"Y/n?" He asks, not believing you're the one on the line.

"Hola." You repeat. "Te llamé en mal momento?" (Did I call you at a bad time?) You ask, bitting your nails.

"No, de hecho no estaba haciendo nada." You can hear a door closing. "How are you?" (No, I was actually not doing anything)

"I'm good, dealing with life. What about you? I heard about your muscle pain."

Your voice is low, you feel scared of saying something wrong. Even though you're barely at the beginning of the call.

"I've been better, I'm missing the Dallas game." He sighs. "I just feel like every time I'm feeling confident about coming back, my body gets fucked up."

You humm in response, letting him vent his frustration.

"I'm tired honestly, Xavi and Oscar are at the edge with me and I think that with the team. Frenkie barely came back, the team sucks, Gavi is hurt."

"I'm sorry this is going like that." You say, being honest.

"I don't even log into social media anymore. On Twitter and on Instagram the haters keep comparing me with Jude, with Vini, with Rodry. I'm so done, Y/n."

"Ay Pepi, I wish I can say something to make you feel better. But you know I suck at that." You laugh, making him laugh too. "You know you're amazing, and that if Xavi and Oscar get frustrated they don't feel your pain, that's why you have to be open with how your body feels."

"I do, believe me that I do, but I can't help but think that every time I say my muscles hurt, they gave me this disappointed look."

The way his voice break makes your heart hurt. You know from past experiences that his mental health goes down day by day if he overthink about the topic.

"And my parents and Fer try to tell me off of this ideas and I don't think it's working. I just wish I can turn my brain off for the night so I can sleep well tonight."

His breathing is getting heavier by the second, you can pick what's going on. He's overthinking and about to have a panic attack.

"Oye, tell me about that game you wanted to buy." You ask out-of the blue, making his mind think of another think.

"Game? What game?" He asks, voice breaking.

"Yeah, the one you wanted to buy. That one with the cars on it." You explain. "And what about that drink you wanted to try, did you tried it?"

"The green one?"

"Si, that one. Did you tried it? Was it good?"

"It tasted weird, and the game I never bought it. Lost interest on it."

"Okay, what about your mother croquettes?"

"They're so good, I broke diet the other day at Adrian's birthday party."

You can hear the breathing being hard but not as heavy as before. You relax, laying fully on your bed.

"Te amo." He says. "I'm sorry about everything, I'm so dumb. You told me that I was losing you and I never changed. It's my fault you're not next to me, that you're not at my games."

"Pedri, let's not do this." You interrupted him.

"Let me say it, Y/n." He begged. "I need to get this out of me, it's eating me alive."

"Okay, keep going."

"I know Fer went to your graduation. I cried myself to sleep that night, and every night after I lost you. I can't think of anything else." He sobs, making your heart hurt. "And my parents are so fucking mad at me, because how could I lost the girl of my dreams?"

"Pedro." You tried to make him stop.

"And my father told me how disappointed he was of me. He was so mad when I told him the truth. I can't keep doing this without you. You were supposed to be laying next to me, calling this place your home. I'm sorry."

"This is not why I called."

"Tell me what I have to do for you to forgive me." He begged again. "Tell me how can I fix this. Please."

"Pedro, stop."

"Please."

You wanted to hang up, not wanting to give up on all the progress you've made. In the promises you made to yourself.

"I think we both need to take a breath." You laugh nervously. "Please, breathe."

All you can hear was the heavy breathing from your and his side of the call. Your mind running a mile per second.

"Can we met, please?" He asks. Your heart was saying yes, but your mind was more coherent.

You were about to answer when Sira stormed into the room asking you to try something. Pedro heard the voice of her and wondered if you were at his parents house.

"I have to go." You say, hanging up the phone quickly. "What?" You ask Sira, she's looking at you with narrowed eyes.

"You okay?"

"Yes, I was about to take a shower but my mom called."

"Was it bad?" She asked worried. "Do you want to talk?"

"I'm fine, I'm just getting in the shower and then we can have some of that green thing you have in there." You tap her nose and walk quickly to the bathroom.

Pedro was laying on the couch he has in his room, his head pounding like crazy, the tears falling from his eyes, wetting his face.

He walks to his bathroom, he needs to wash his face. He needs to relax and breathe like you told him to.

The way he feels lighter after telling you how he feels was refreshing, his shoulders don't have the weight they used to five minutes ago.

His reflection is like a stranger to him. His dark circles under his eyes now darker, his weight every day less. He can't keep doing this to himself.

You feel the same way as you look at your reflection. The tears pooling that you don't want to let wet your face.

You take deep breaths, the sound of shower and the steam makes you be back from your thoughts. You got into the shower, sliding down the bathroom wall while hiding your face into your hands.

Pedro can't seem to find a way to stop his tears, knees on the floor while the sounds of his painful cry interrupt the peaceful silence of his home.

🪷🪷🪷

"You sure you're okay with me going to this party?"

Ferran invited you to his sister's birthday party, you and her were good friends thanks to Sira. Sadly due to the breakup, Sira didn't wanted to come but sent her a gift.

"Yes, go and have fun. I'm fine here with my book and with my coffee."

You kissed her on the cheek and went on your way, you asked Fer if he was coming but he told you that he was about to leave to Tenerife.

"But if you wonder or not." He says with a funny tone. "Pedri will be home."

You knew that Ferran sister didn't invite him, she told you herself. So you were fine with at least not having to tip toe around.

The party was at this club that Ferran rented for her party, you loved the pink and white theme she chose.

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You were enjoying yourself, finding some in common friends you haven't talk to in a while, the vibes were good and the night was refreshing for you.

You were retouching your makeup at the bathroom. You heard knocking on the door, thinking that maybe they found that the downstairs bathroom was full.

You take the last look at yourself in the mirror. Adjusting you jacket and opening the door, you find the person you wanted to dissappear from this earth.

The way he roll his eyes makes you angry, he was annoyed at your presence? You should be the one that's rolling the eyes at him.

"Move, please." You say, stern tone.

"You're leaving so soon?" He smirks.

You don't think twice and push him to the side, you can hear him fall over to the little sofa that was outside the bathroom.

You walk downstairs, finding the birthday girl and saying your goodbyes to her and to Ferran, who was next to her.

You were walking to your car when you feel someone grabbing you by the arm and throwing you agains a car door.

You groan at the pain that's growing on your side. You put your hand against your ribs, you find hard to breathe.

"You really think you can treat me like shit?"

"Are you out of your right mind?" You whisper, not fully recovered from the impact. "What the fuck."

"You're such a fucking bitch, making my friends be against me, making my team be against me."

"What the fuck are you talking about? You did this to yourself, Eric"

You tried to walk away from him by pushing him but he grabbed you back and stamped you back again. Making the car alarm sound.

"Eric, what the fuck?" You hear someone yell.

You notice how Ferran was running to where you are. Pushing Eric away from you. He shield you with his body.

"Why is everybody defending her?" Eric yells, getting closer again.

"Don't fucking dare."

"I just don't get why everyone believes she's the innocent girl she pretends to be."

You scuff, he's the one mad at you as if he didn't ruined your relationship. "You were the one telling Pedri shit and making him doubt me. You ruined my relationship"

"Oh no, I ruined your little gold digging act? Are you not able to afford rent now?"

"Fuck you." You spat, feeling rage grow inside of you. "Maybe if you use that mind inside the field you would be a good player and not the trash you are."

"Enough!" Ferran yells. "You, go away." He points at Eric. "Now!"

He grabs your arm, making you walk away from the scene. You keep your hand on your side, trying to smooth the area where is hurting.

"Can you drive?" He asks, you nod slowly. "What the fuck, what the actual fuck?" He whispers.

"I'm fine, you can go back to the party, Ferran." You whisper. "Thank you."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm in shock but I'm fine, don't worry about me. Please don't let this ruin the party." You hug him, his hands on your back trying to calm you down.

Even when you don't cry or show any emotion, he knows you're not okay.

"Tell me when you're home"

"Yes, I'll dm you, thank you."

He's back inside once you're on your way at the driveway. You're on autopilot, feeling hazy from all the emotions you're feeling.

You don't even notice the turns you make until you're outside his door. You turn off the car, taking your phone to text him.

You waited for barely two minutes, the door of his house opening. You take your seat belt off and stretch to the passenger door, opening it for him.

"Hola, preciosa." He says, worried expression on his face. "Are you okay?"

"Want to go for a ride?" You ask, ignoring his question. He nods, asking you to wait for him.

Once he collects his keys and a sweater, he hup up your car and you began the drive. You have a destination in mind.

Hes quiet, not sure if he's supposed to ask you again if you're okay. He's just enjoying seeing you after so long.

"It's too cold for just that jacket." He says, eyes up and down your body.

"It's fine, it keeps me warm." You say, the stern tone of voice worries him. "Seatbealt on." You say when the annoying alarm goes off.

"Yours is off too." He points at your chest, you just groaned, putting the seatbelt on.

Your drive to the highest part of the park. The beautiful view of Barcelona at night welcome you. You turn the car off, getting out as soon as you can.

You wanted to scream.

All you wanted was peace. You wanted to feel like you used to feel before all of this. You wanted to be able to go home and find your boyfriend there or go to his place and share things about your day, share moments with him.

The hands of Pedri on your shoulders feel heavy, you take a step, making the contact break.

"Do you trust me?" You ask on the verge of tears.

"With my life." He answer, not wasting a minute.

"Then why did you do that to me?" You let the tears fall down your face. "Was I not a good girlfriend?"

"Y/n, don't say that." He shake his head no. "You were the best thing I ever had."

"Then tell me, what it was?"

"It wasn't you, it was me. All me." He elevated his voice. Not at you but at the heat of the situation. "It was all me, I was the one who got those stupid ideas in my head, I trusted you, I knew Kyle was nothing but your friend, I knew you were just friends with Pablo, I know you would never do nothing to hurt me."

"What about the day I left?" You ask, the aftertaste is bitter on your mouth.

The thought of that day bring nightmares to his mind. The things he told you, the shit he provoked. They way he pushed you over the edge to the point of making you leave.

"I don't have a problem with the way you dress, I love your style. I don't have a problem with how much you love your friends, I love your way of acting, the way you love everyone, I don't have a problem with you being friends with Pablo, I love you and I love how my friends are your friends."

He take a deep breath, feeling like the air in his lungs is not enough. Feeling like the cold air is making breathing hard.

"And I'm sorry about the way I treated you, the way I was acting, I never meant to make you feel bad about my insecurities. I was the problem. I was the one who let someone else get into my head, I was the one who made the mistakes, and i was the one who made you feel like I didn't love you."

He gets closer to you, hands on your cheeks, drying the tears. Your hold his hands with yours. "But I love you, don't ever think that I don't." He whispers, kissing the top of your nose.

You nod, grabbing his face with your hands, caressing his cheeks. You pull him towards you, pressing your foreheads together.

"I love you too." You say after a while, pulling away from him. "But I have to love myself first. And I need to see that you changed."

Even when your words burn his heart, he understand. He wanted to prove himself to be what you needed, the person you can trust. He wanted to be all that to you again. Because you're all that to you.

"I'll do anything to prove to you that I changed. I'll wait as long as you need to, I want you to trust me again."

"I miss you." You hug him, arms locking behind his neck. His hands don't miss a minute to intertwine behind your back.

"I miss you more." He kisses you neck. "I promise I will prove you that I can be the person you deserve."

You enjoyed the warmth of his body against yours. You can't help but think of how he was right and your jacket was definitely not enough. You giggle a little.

"What's that?" He asks, smiling.

"You're right, it's too cold." You sniff, feeling the cold reach every part of you.

He separates and undo the zipper of his sweater, hands on each side opening the sweater for you to hug him and get more warm.

"Now that's better." You say, kissing his collarbone, making him smile against your hair.

🪷🪷🪷

"Last christmas I have you my ass, but the very next day you fuck my best friend, this year I'm fucking you dad and I'm also fucking your cousin."

You laugh at Fer singing Cardi's remix of the Christmas song. He was helping you with baking christmas cookies over FaceTime.

Pedro and you have made amazing progress, he was proving himself day by day.

"To think that a year ago today you guys were at the top of a cliff at the park solving your issues." He jokes, making Pedro give him the finger while laughing.

"Good thing your bother knows how to redeem himself." You second Fernando's joke.

"Joer, hablan de mi como si yo no existiera y estoy aquí parado, no me imagino cuando no los pueda escuchar." He laughs, making you smile and shake tou head at him. (You guys talk about me as if I'm not standing right here, I can't imagine what you say when I'm not present)

"only good things, mi amor." You kiss his cheek.

"Bueno, yo los dejo, I have to help mom with some things at la Tasca." (Well, I'm out) he waves you goodbye and cut the FaceTime.

Pedri has added to their story

Yourusername has added to their story

You two spend the rest of the day decorating and eating the cookies. Making Pedri break his diet, but he was okay with that.

"Oye, ven pa'qui." (Hey, come here) he calls you.

you walk over to him, he's sitting on the couch. A elf hat on his head. You can't help but smile at his cuteness.

"Yes sir?" You ask.

He possess his hands on your waist, pulling you towards him and making you fall on his lap. "Do you like how the house is looking."

"Very much, I love our home." You say, hugging him. "And I love you."

He smiles at you, looking around. He can't help but feel proud of himself. He proved you that he was worth a second chance. That he was your person and that he loved you more than anything.

He was happy you were happy with him. And that was something he knew he couldn't lose. Not you, not your love and not your future together.

"I love you more."

✨️✨️✨️

🏷: @gulphulp @jack1n @girlidekanymore @gadriezmannsgirl since you asked for part 2 🤭✨️

[emojellyace08]

Hello! How've you been? Can you please write jealousy headcanons for lookism men with a female reader? The reader and they are not in a relationship but they have a crush on her and they get jealous when she hangs out with her guys best friend? Thank you ❤️

♡♡♡♡ Jealousy "Hey, would you please focus on me?" (Lookism Men x Female Reader)♡♡♡♡

A/N: Sorry for the really late reply @serenesoulseeker but I've been feeling a lot better lately! (been trying to recover from a cold rn) And sorry for the inconvenience bc I have other requests to do and other important tasks (this has been sitting on my drafts for a while -_-''''') but I hope my writing reaches your expectations. Ty! Genre: angst to fluff Warnings: jealousy and neediness (a bit of possessiveness), not in an established relationship with the character of choice at first, (yandere on Samuel, Olly, and Jiho's part), slight mentions of assault (night club), mentions of physical fighting, shouting, toxic relationship on the last part (NOT CONDONING THIS IN REAL LIFE) reader is gender neutral!

Daniel Park/Jay Hong/Zack Lee/Vasco (Lee Eun Tae)/Jace Park/Duke Pyeon/Eli Jang/Johan Seong/Jake Kim/Lineman/Brad Lee/Jerry Kwon/Jason Yoon/Jiho Park/Young Jinyeong Park/Yuseong

Getting to know him for a very long time is a ride. You've been childhood friends with him and he's one of the people you cherish a lot. You always got each other's back. You often scare those little bullies away when they're taking their insults personally again just to make him insecure. And at times you got to scold him while patching up his bruises when he gets beaten up by those thugs, he just really wants to protect you from those types of people.

He may get wounded because of his hero complex getting in the way at times, but it's just him being him. You may come out as strong and bold at times but he knows you got that soft spot in you once he gets to know you better. You're both glad that you get to know each other. In times in rich and wealth, in sickness and in health, in both of your ups and downs you're always partners in crime. Spending his extra time with you shows that he really values you as you're with him. Despite having your own business and focusing on both of your perspective goals, that spark just never faded away. You're both thankful that your friendship stays the same, even getting better even when you're not with him at most times.

Your relationship with him even developed the more you stayed beside him especially when he's down like there's a dark cloud above his head. You don't have to be there for him always, yet you chose to. That triggered something he never felt anything before. Something warm and exciting. He usually never engage in romance since he's afraid of getting rejected and hurt. But he felt so much in ease and comfortable with you. When you tease him he usually doesn't mind it since he knows that you don't mean it and you actually see the good in him. It took a while for him to realize that he's been crossing the line that he's not prepared for.

He's enlightened, nervous, and anything between scared and happy. If he confesses to you, will like him back just because of his looks? Or will you turn down his offer or live both of your best lives as lovers? Will you avoid him? He's not sure. Though he will respect your wishes if you want boundaries. But he can't help but to feel jealous when you mingle with other people, especially with other boys. He knows that your kind and uplifting spirit makes the other guys ask for help when they need to so he doesn't really have a problem with you spending time with them as long as they don't do anything scandalous to you. He knows that he's not your boyfriend and vice versa, so there's no need to feel jealous. Right? But he can't really control it at times. He wants to pin you on the wooden table as he wants to tell you his feelings, "Hey, would you please focus on me?" but he can't seem to tell it on your face. He doesn't mean to pout when you won't pay attention to him. But he gets really hot and sweaty when you lean closer to him when you're helping him out with his homework! Or he can't help but to admire your cute face that you make when he teases you.

He's really insecure about what he's feeling and about himself. But after collecting his courage, he decided to talk to you and face that wall that he's been trying to overcome. He doesn't care if you even reject him anymore. He's trying to act tough and strong so that he can keep up with his image and to your standards. But I guess it's now or never.

You are chatting with him as you view the beautiful scenery of the sun falling down as the moon starts to appear on the pinkish-blue hue of the sky. The wind's blowing is soft and gentle as leaves softly rustle and danced on the atmosphere falling off on the tall and strong trees. Birds are flying on the sky as children flew their kites and sweet couples enjoy their quality time with picnics or sitting on the bench, just chatting and laughing at pretty dumb stuff. Despite the background sounds getting a bit loud, he really enjoys this moment with you.

"Hey Y/N," "Hm? "I want to ask you a question." his voice became stern as you gave him your attention. "Yeah, what about that?" you can see him getting a bit sweaty as he gulped, not trying to be so harsh or obvious. "Ehem, do you have s-someone you like?" he asked as your eyes widened in surprise. "Oh about that," "Yeah?" "I-I have someone I really like." You replied feeling your own cheeks grew hot as his mouth curls into a frown. He shouldn't have been hoping for you reciprocating his feelings. But he can't help but to get curious about this type of yours. "Okay, what is he like?" he asked with a hint of discourage on his voice, his eyelashes fluttering as he tries to stop his tears from falling down on his soft face. He never meant to be overdramatic, but his jealousy along with his insecurities and personal problems consume him at times. "Well, he doesn't realize it but he's really handsome, nice, talented, smart in his own ways. But that's not the reason I started developing feelings for him. He's so soft and gentle at me all the time, even being patient when I'm acting like a drama queen/king. But he's been so understanding at my problems even when I'm at fault at times. He doesn't give up on me and he actually made me a better person in some ways." you replied honestly as both of you avoided eye contact. "And I don't mean to offend anybody but," "Huh?" you faced him as you leaned a bit closer to him as he panics. It doesn't mean that he hates it, it's in fact the opposite. He can't help but to stare at your pretty face, but as the guy/someone who developed feelings first, he should be making the first move! "What if I told you that it's you that I like?" "E-EH!"

Now after talking it through out you're going to be a lovey dovey couple. If you're the shy type you're going to be a blushing idiot around him and vice versa. Though after confessing to each other he wants to take things slowly and surely so both of you wouldn't hurt each other's feelings and waste your friendship, memories, and time at the end. He fully respects it if you want to focus on your studies, family, and with your future career but just remember that he's always here for you all the time even if you're lovers or not :) (but trust me he's going to be one of the most loving boyfriends in this verse so it's now or never ;)

Warren Chae/Zack Lee/James Lee/Goo Kim/Sinu Han/Jake Kim/Vin Jin/Young Elite & Tom Lee/Kuroda Ryuhei/Olly Wang/Yoojin/Gongseob Ji/Kwak Jihan &Jibeom

This f*cker is insane. If you met him on your middle school, high school or in your workplace one thing you know is that he's going to piss you off (in a really good and bad way). He doesn't usually engage with his love life, he might have flings and flirts there and then but he's not really emotionally ready for mature understandings in a couple relationship. And besides he doesn't really want to either, he has other plans, goals, and other businesses to handle before getting into a committed relationship. Having a crush is fine he guesses.

But meeting you for the first time is something that feels different yet familiar. Two things crossed on his mind. First, why the f*ck does he need a partner for his work/school activity? And second is that even if he didn't want to admit it but something about you looks interesting. You look like someone who's pretty chill, and even if you won't shut the hell up he has another bicker friend to make and chat with. So it's a 50/50 win.

But one thing he sure know he's wrong about. You're more than your skills, beauty, brains, and talents. Even if you're the introverted or extroverted type, one thing he knows is that you're actually helpful and reasonable. What he likes about you is that you're pretty realistic in some situations that most people can't handle with. And you might sound harsh at times but it's just you being honest and giving constructive criticisms. It might not be obvious that he likes you because of him making you loose your temper and patience at times, but it's just him being him (an annoying little brat). But whenever things get serious, you always got his back and vice versa. You and him are one hell of a disaster if someone or even many people tries to mess with your shit.

Even if he seems to act bold, cold, intimidating and monstrous, he's actually a bit of a scared cat when you bring up the topic of him getting a girlfriend/boyfriend. His body just tenses when you talk about someone who looks physically attractive to you or when they show you acts of good and kind-hearted services. At first he conflicts to his subconscious that it's just him acting like an older brother to you as he scowls and hisses at them like a possessive cat. He can't help but to raise his eyebrows and roll his dark looking orbs when you giggle about your previous crushes, even cringing and boasting that he's a better man than that wimp will ever be. "HAH?! HIM?! REALLY?! Jesus Christ Y/N I didn't know that you have a really bad taste at picking men." he smirks as he bites on his strawberry-flavored lollipop while laughing at your grumpy looking form with him obviously being taller and muscular than you. "You don't even know him! He's not only kind but he's also helpful and bonus points, HOT!" he chokes on his sweet while he lets now a loud guffaw that can be probably heard at the whole building. This bastard really knows to piss you off. But it's just him being jealous. He thinks to himself that he may not be the best in showing affection and even coming out as arrogant at times, but he'll definitely change his misdeeds and wrong doings just to be a good influence on you. He might flirt there and then just to see you getting flustered while smacking his arms to stop. But he wouldn't go too far to make you feel uncomfortable around him. Respect.

Whoever tries to touch you without your permission gets smashed on the face by him. He may not be your boyfriend but whoever pervert who takes it too far and doesn't know boundaries deserves to feel his stinging and even gut-wrenching attacks.

It was on a late evening when you wear your clothing of choice to hang out on your own on a night club. You messaged him that you're going out on your own to get a few drinks with him answering that it's best if he can accompany you if you don't mind. But you reassured him that you'll be okay and you'll come home safe and sound. How wrong are you on that part. A skinny looking dude kept approaching you for your number while you politely decline that you're fine with your own. But he couldn't just stop bothering you, the fight have even turned into physical if you asked me. He was about to slap you on the face but then your friend stopped his attack by putting pressure on his wrist making the drunk bastard groan and grit his teeth. "Oi you dumb fuck, is that how you treat a person?" "Why the fuck are you getting out of the wa-" Your eyes widened as he landed an attack on the poor guy, but he just deserved it since he's not being responsible.

Both of you have to get out of that place filled with stench of smoke and alcohol. You're not really on the right mind either as the *alcohol/drink of choice* is starting to kick in your system. You crying and wailing on his arms like a little toddler when your toy is taken away from you. "WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU FOLLOW ME HERE?! I ASKED FOR MY OWN TIME! I COULD HAVE PROTECTED MY SELF THERE!" you sobbed as you keep hitting him on the arms as he tries to make you calm down. "OI YOU REALLY THINK THAT I CAN JUST LEAVE YOU ALONE THERE?! WHAT IF YOU GOT HURT OR WHAT IF SOMETHING ELSE HAPPENED TO YOU?!" he was about to scold you more before you hit him again despite not being hurtful at all before you puked on his new bought shirt, ah what a dumbass you are at times. "SCREW YOU! YOU ALWAYS GET IN MY WAY! EVEN TEASING ME WHEN MY FEELINGS ARE ALREADY GETTING HURT! YOU DON'T EVEN CARE WE ARE JUST CO-WORKERS/CLASSMATES!"

He'll make sure to give you every detail about what happened that night and he'll apologize on his shortcomings, even being honest about his mistakes which you can feel a bit uncanny since it's not like him. "Sorry Y/N for being an asshole at times. Sorry if I offended you. I may not be sounding sincere right now but I'll try my best to make it up to you. We're partners in crime after all". Nonetheless, if you and him can make it work out and talk about your problems with each other you and him will make a great couple :).

Gun Park/Kwak Jichang/Taesoo Ma/DG (Kang Dag Yeom)/Young Charles Choi (Elite)/Daniel Park (post-training with Gun arc)/Johan Seong/Cheon Taejin/Magami Kenta

He's another one who doesn't really focus on his love life. He does feel that being alone can be lonely at times but one main advantage of being single is that he can have quality time for himself and he can keep an eye on his goals. But he can definitely feel a spark between the two of you the more he gets to know you better if he really likes you. He's just him chilling in his own world I guess.

He doesn't really get jealous? At all? He might have some moments of feeling disappointed when you're busy with your schooling/work or when you turn your attention to your classmate/co-worker but he just wouldn't speak about it unless if you're doing it intentionally he still definitely gets jealous.

He can simply control his emotions in times especially when both of you are out for business. He maintains his professionalism intact with him since acting like a crybaby about it would just make a ruckus between the two of you and he doesn't want an argument in the first place. He wants to keep each others' boundaries, love, connection, and self respect for one another so he'll just ask about your day while he listens to your rumbles in your school/workplace as long as you listen to him as well ;3.

He's also very honest about his feelings and what upsets him the most. He wouldn't be afraid to voice out his concerns most of the times. At times he's feeling very hesitant to talk about his or your issues since he's already mentally exhausted and he doesn't want to bruise your heart. But he knows that running away from something won't make anything better. So as much as it hurts your part, he's willing to give some constructive criticisms even if you're the sensitive type and he'll also listen to your point of view in situations while he also explains his side of things (he doesn't emotionally abuse you don't worry).

And your friend might feel a little glare or you might see a little pout on his face when you don't give him attention. He really wants to get showered with love and care even though his inferior is tough and strong. But he's still a human, feeling emotions like jealousy so expect for him to gently grab your chin while he looks at you with that demanding and fierce, yet soft and sparkly eyes to lock on you especially when both of you are alone keeping each others' company. "Hey, did you take notes to what I am talking about?" "E-Eh?!" "Keep your focus on me even just for today, I'm not emotionally free when I'm out for work. So listen to me right now."

But his demeanor will completely change once a fucker who knows that you're in a relationship with him tries to flirt with you. It's not even a feeling of jealousy at this point. He's going to feel rage once someone tries to touch you inappropriately. It's going to be a massacre if you don't convince him to stop since he doesn't have a beating for a while now. Your one of the people whom he only listens to so as much as he wants to teach that guy a lesson he'll consider sparing them, he might not want to see their face though after he tries flirting and taking advantage of you.

Samuel Seo/Olly Wang/Jiho Park (villain arc)/Vin Jin (at start of Lookism when he's still super toxic unlike today he's still an asshole at times)

Oh girl/boy, do I even need to start? -_-'''' 🚩🚩🚩.

Literally the definition of "pure" red flag inside out.

This guy has daddy issues, family issues, mommy issues, inferiority complex issues, literally any issue. He also (probably) has abandonment issues so he pretty much won't let you go if he feels like you're the "one for him".

Pretty creepy with the face that he makes when he gets excited for beating someone when somebody tries to get closer to you (especially his rival). He might take this as a big challenge to see which one deserves to be with you.

A literal gangster inside out. Y'all saying that you can fix him, are you Bob the Builder or smth? Like there's a literal whole construction site dedicated for him 😭.

He MIGHT change his values and goals once you taught him how to love and appreciate his self for the way he is but so far it's probably going to be a toxic relationship if you're also a really hard headed person.

He easily gets jealous out of the bunch even at the smallest things. No matter how many times you try to convince him that you're not flirting with your schoolmate/co-worker, once he lost his cool he'll be literally scary and monstrous. Literal shouting, screaming and crying will be heard on your room while he throws things on the wall when he loose his temper at you. *Sigh* Idk about it.

Definition of insecure (I don't know if I'm describing or insulting them at this point).

A literal ass most at times. Yikes.

[whetstonefires]

See I don't necessarily disagree with what seems to be the primary reading that Yue Qingyuan's shifu fucked him over, caring nothing for his needs or preferences and only for whether he was useful. That makes sense, it ties into plenty of the generational and societal themes of the story. It fits.

But iirc we don't actually get enough information to know that's what happened.

And the thing is it would be so in-character and also thematically appropriate if Yue Qingyuan absolutely did not explain his goals or why he was working so hard, because it was private and shameful and he didn't expect any sympathy, and there was a high risk of losing everything if he blabbed.

And also if he engaged with the existing ruleset with which he was presented, i.e. 'can't go off on your own on personal business until you've mastered your sword,' in the most negative and controlling manner possible, as absolute commandments.

He's a different kind of guy but he comes from the same background as Shen Jiu! It fucked him up also!

He is very very very not a guy who trusts the system to make allowances for him--even once he has all the power he 'does what he wants' and 'makes selfish choices' as a conscious transgression; not something he has a right to do, just something he can get away with so he's gonna. (And ofc he spends almost all the latitude he grants himself on sqq.)

And even less is he a guy who opens up easily.

He isn't too proud to ask for help or pity, so much as he just doesn't expect to get any.

So in this interpretation, he understood that rule as a non-negotiable barrier in his path, the target to overcome, and focused all his considerable will and talent on overcoming it through the sphere of action he felt he had control over.

And fucked himself up bad.

Whereupon his teacher, possessing absolutely no context for this dumb shit their star pupil pulled, did the only thing they thought might work to save his life, paying in the process no attention to the raving of someone deep in a psychotic break.

Like, I feel like there should have been a better, kinder medical option, but I don't know for sure that there was, so I can't say with certainty this was the kind of cruelty that derives from not caring enough.

And it really would be kind of elegant and so typical of Yue Qingyuan's fundamental tragedy if the real mistake was 'not confiding in anybody' the whole time.

And he was just so deeply sunk into the understanding that explaining and asking were useless that, even looking back, it never really occurred to him that maybe his mistake wasn't 'fucking it up when trying too hard to solve everything on his own' but 'assuming there was no help to be had, and that he had to do it all on his own.'

Like. What if this really could all have been avoided if he'd just trusted and communicated with the adult in charge of him? But of course, of course his history of trauma (neglect, child abuse, exploitation, being the One Responsible for the younger kids whom he could not keep safe) meant he was absolutely not going to do that.

It was basically impossible. For the person he was, the person the world had made of him. And that's always been the core tragedy the whole novel circles back upon.

People can only ever be themselves, and so very often the elements of self that let them survive until now are that which dooms them, that means they need someone else to intervene if they're ever going to be saved. Because your personal doom is always the thing from which you can't save yourself.

[astroyongie]

Enhypen January 2024 Reading

note: please take it lightly

Heeseung

Love: he is currently single and it does seem like Heeseung has once more lived a dissapoitment in love after his current crush as rejected his confession. He regrets a lot having done this confession (it was to a non idol working in their company) 

Career: he is very disappointed as well with his current career. I think heeseung is very stressed and he suffers a lot form anxiety due to all the work that is put on them. He feels overwhelmed and he doesnt know how to deal with all the fear he has toward his career 

Self: despite all, he tries his best to keep moving forward. Heeseung seem to like wanting to keep a strong personality in from of others and show no weakness 

Jay

Love: single at the moment, Jay isnt seeking for love since he just came out from a relationship very recently. Whatever this was about, It kind of annoyed him to this story not to last (but at the same time it seem like it was his decision to terminate things) 

Career: he too, like Heeseung feels very pressured by his career and by what the company demands on him. His schedules and hard work are defintily affecting his physical health. I feel like he is very tired and overworked 

Self: he is trying to recover from this dark period that had been lingering around his head. Jay is trying to be strong as a person and move forward with things 

Jake

Love: he is equally single. I feel Jake had been trying to get in a relationship with someone since August but that the person refused his advances which have left him frustrated. At the moment he his withdrawing from the love affairs 

Career: like he is happy with his idol situation, he likes what he does and he is enjoying what his work has been giving him so far. Yet I feel like Jake isnt totally satisfied and that he seeks to do more than what he has been doing so far (probably seeking outside opportunities other than with enhypen) 

Self: he is on a very dark side of wealth and fame to be honest. Here it seems like he has become a little bit too attached to money and the power that it gives him to do whatever he wants without being punished by it or judged 

Sunghoon

Love: He is dating someone and what it is intersting to see, is that Sunghoon might be leaving some clues behind him about the person he is currently seeing. I also feel that this is an idol 

Career: he feels like the company are doing a terrible job at managing the group. Sunghoon feels like he has too many schedules to attend, many opportunities to work on yet everything is disorganized and he feels over committed by the company and his sponsors 

Self: he is very focused on his career at the moment and also on his image and what hes shows to the public. I believe that Sunghoon has been focusing a lot lately on changing his idol image and showing something more mature 

Sunoo

Love: if he was in a relationship before, he isnt anymore as he had a huge conflict with his partner which provoked them to break apart. They disagreed a lot on things and they didn’t had the same goals for what they wanted the relationship to be. Their relationship ended in bad terms 

Career: Sunoo have been having some extra opportunities when it comes to his career and one should expect him to shine brighter this year thanks to the work his company and his sponsor are putting behind him 

Self: he feels okay, he feels more in touched with his emotions and with what is happening around him. Sunoo has been taking decisions with his heart more than his head 

Jungwon

Love: he is currently single and quite bored about it. It feels like Jungwon is longing to be in a relationship again but he havent found anyone that could take that spot. He is needing love and yet being very lazy about searching 

Career: he is trying to take a lower profile on the group. I feel like Jungwon has no wish to take decisions for the group, he doesnt want to be in the spotlight. Almost like the “filler” member is what he is seeking 

Self: Jungwon is someone very ambitious and he thrives for success. Just music success might be just a path he choose to take to later change (perhaps acting?)

Ni-ki

Love: he is very successful with girls around him. I believe that Niki is still single yet he doesnt stop himself to enjoy the company of people whenever he has the opportunity to do so 

Career: expect niki to have a lot more solo opportunities this year that he had previously. Either they are for solo music stuff, for acting/mcs or shoots/marketing. He is booked and sponsors are trying to snatch him 

Self: he has been a little bit cold and too upfront with one of his members. This might have generated a few conflicts with one member because he often loses his chill self lately.

[darkmold]

could I request yandere cato hadley hcs?

Yandere!Cato Hadley HCs

Warnings: typical yandere behavior (obsession, possessiveness, etc.), Cato is a spoiled douche who tries to force you to marry him, tried to make Reader gender-neutral but lemme know if I gendered something

Cato is a lot to handle. Being from District 2, his life has been fairly easy and he views aggression and dominance as honorable traits

He trained for the games since he was a kid, and takes his goal very seriously. His obsession probably began because he saw you as a rival. Cato is extremely competitive, and didn’t take kindly to being one-upped. You were his motive for getting stronger, and eventually you invaded his thoughts more and more often.

His frustration towards you became fascination. He’s arrogant, and the thought of someone being half as great as him is mind-boggling. He begins thinking of ways to impress you, starts subconsciously looking for you in crowds, and even looks for ways to establish some sort of dominant role over your life.

Cato is a jerk, but he knows how to turn on the charm when he needs to. When his feelings become romantic (his twisted version of romance at least), he lays it on thick. Brings you all sorts of gifts. Nice and practical gifts that, despite your stubbornness, do make your life easier. Ex: new shoes that are just a tad more expensive than the old pair (he’s gotta show he’s “better” than you financially ofc)

The next stages could go one of two ways; you willingly go out with him, or you refuse and provoke his utter douche-ness

Option One: you willingly date him

He may actually prefer to call this “courting” or something else that implies a much more serious relationship

He asks you out in a very nonchalant way, however. He brings up how similar you both are maybe complimenting you but don’t hold your breath and suggests that it would be mutually beneficial to partner up (I imagine he’d phrase it similarly to forming an alliance in the games. His entire life is focused on that shit)

Anyway, he’s over the moon when you say yes. Just be aware that this is a “no backsies” kind of situation. He immediately tells everyone whats going on between you and makes it very difficult to change your mind.

At this point, you’re probably a bit uncomfortable with his behavior but still think you can get through to him somehow and fix him up (spoiler: you can’t)

Option Two: you reject him

He’s pissed. Point blank.

Every positive thought he had about you is gone, but the obsession remains. The rejection solidifies his belief that you are below him.

He’s not gonna let a weak embarrassment of a person hold him back from the plans he’s built these past months. In his meltdown, he spills every idea he’s had for the two of you

He’s been training so hard to win this shit, just for you. Weak, pathetic, adorable you. So he can come back as a victor and bring honor to his district. So he can come back and marry you! How could you not want that?

I imagine that Cato’s family has some kind of foothold in District 2’s community, so it wouldn’t be hard to keep you under his thumb even after you refuse him. Wether that be through social isolation, threatening people who help you, or direct abduction is up to you.

The day of the reaping, you get dressed together. He chooses your clothes to compliment his, sits silently at the breakfast table as you both eat, and stops you at the door before you head to the square.

With your wrist in a tight grasp, he pries your hand open and gives you a plain golden ring. It’s proud and foreboding; like the man who gave it to you. He tells you that when he gets back, you’ll be his. Forever.

You can only hope for a deadly miracle in that arena.