#he's a stoner bastard i love him

[c0ckedgun]

I LOVE YOU WHORES

[tiniedemon]

— ♡

dating headcanons

main 4 + butters

— ♡

stan

— definitely the type to bully you but loves you to death

— constantly posting you on social media

— you need him? he’s already there actually he’s been hiding in your walls

— gets super in his head a lot, requires a lot of reassurance & affection

— SUPER FUCKING PROTECTIVE

— some dude’s making you uncomfortable? his hand’s on your shoulder and he’s ready to beat the shit out of him

— the silent but deadly type

— basically no one fucks w his s/o

— but super duper soft

— sticky as fuck

— you thought kenny was a physical touch kinda guy? stan is 10 times worse

— constantly holding your hand or lacing your pinkies together

— prefers quiet nights in over nights out 100%

— movie nights are his absolute fav he loves the cliche holding hands in popcorn thing

— a bit of an alcoholic but never an angry drunk, he’ll be constantly up your ass blubbering about how much he loves you

— “your eyes are so pretty and your face is so pretty and i love your hair like that and how do you smell so good”

kyle

— if he were an anime character he’d be a tsundere for sure

— dislikes pda but in private he has no problem being affectionate

— is super awkward around you, doesn’t really know how to talk to you or how to act

— also prefers quiet nights in but in a totally different way

— would much rather read a book with your legs in his lap than watch a movie

— one phone call away tho don’t get him wrong

— if you need him he’s immediately on his way no questions asked

— very very very very protective

— also the type to hover behind you but the second you give him the go ahead he’s running his mouth

— all bark but also a super gnarly bite

— also super jealous and kind of insecure

— you’re his first real relationship so he’s always scared someone’s gonna steal you away

— the type to give you massages and ask you about your day

— domestic housewife fs, always cooking for you and making sure your house is clean

— always leaves sweet notes for you to wake up to but will never acknowledge them

— overall such a sweetheart, would do anything for you but is a stickler on saying the l word

— thinks it loses its sparkle if it’s said too much

kenny

— sticky horny bastard

— always cuddled up to you or holding your hand or kissing you

— big fan of pda

— if he’s not touching you and he’s in your presence someone’s getting hurt

— loves partying but also loves quality time with you

— would totally go out if you wanted but also would curl up in bed with you if you weren’t feeling it

— always eager to please you

— he’s like a dog, at your beck and call, awaiting your orders

— but don’t touch his s/o or he’ll go nuts

— not really the jealous type but definitely the possessive type

— like he doesn’t get worked up about someone hitting on you, he knows you’re fine as fuck, but the second someone tries to touch you his arms are around you and he’s kissing you

— very much a gentleman

— he makes very misogynistic comments about your body but ultimately you’re a queen and you should never have to lift a finger

— always worshipping the ground you walk on

— definitely a stoner

— giggles at everything you do when he’s high and 100% smokes you out every chance he gets

— he just loves you so much he’d literally combust

eric

— isn’t really one for affection, private or public

— definitely runs his mouth to you

— but the second you get upset he’s crying begging you to stop being mad rubbing your feet

— a messy bitch for sure

— always stirring up drama in the friend group and sitting back watching it all go down with you

— would definitely scheme with you about starting beef

— views you as his queen but treats you as an equal (which is huge for him because everyone is below him)

— hates seeing you cry and would easily tell off whichever son of a bitch did it

— but also wouldn’t hesitate to bully you to the verge of tears

— makes up for it by offering you some of his cheesy poofs

— unspoken acts of affection for sure

— hates going out

— he’d much rather watch a comedy movie and shit on the plot with you

— the type to act like he hates you around his friends but the second you’re in a private setting he’s reminding you that he loves you

— possessive, jealous, protective, the big 3

— kind of like a chihuahua, all bark no bite

— probably also low key an alcoholic but never drunk to the point of being a lovey dovey bitch

butters

— the sweetest boyfriend ever

— panics every time you cry or are upset in any way

— even if he’s grounded he’ll still find a way to talk to you

— if there’s a screen there’s a way

— doesn’t really fall into any category

— kind of just exists, way too happy that you’re dating him to notice anything else

— the type to post you on every social media platform he has

— would shout from the rooftops about how much he loves you

— very acts of service

— would do anything you asked as long as you were happy

— gives you back rubs every night

— sleeps with his head on your chest because he loves to listen to your heartbeat

— physical touch too

— loves holding your hand and caressing your cheeks

— stares at you for hours like “wow i can’t believe my s/o is this perfect”

— makes sure your needs are taken care of before his

— constantly texting you to remind you that he loves you and that you’re perfect in every way

— good morning and goodnight paragraphs even if you live together

— loves you to the moon and back and wants everyone to know it

[sturniolo-rat]

The High Life Part 1

Matt Sturniolo X Stoner!Reader

Part 2

A/N: because I need a babysitter when I’m high and this is generally how it goes.

Contains: fluff💕, daddy k!nk

TW: drug use

In which Matt babysits a high Y/N and she becomes submissive and breedable😏

“Matt, would you still love me if I was a worm?” Y/N asks, looking at him through a cloud of smoke.

He looks up from his game “You’re high as shit, but yes, I would, the fuck”? She’s always asking dumbass questions when she smokes. Matt doesn’t smoke himself, but he likes to be around to watch Y/N. Not only does she look really hot, but she becomes so baby, and he wants to take care of her. 

“Okay, but what would you do?” She looks up at him expectantly, looking for a very specific answer.

He turns in his chair. “I’d put you somewhere safe and find the wizard bastard that did this to you.”

Y/N shakes her head furiously. “No, there’s no wizard. The universe just took my human form back and decided I was actually supposed to be a worm.” She says, pulling the rolling tray onto her lap as she sits on the bed facing him crisscross applesauce.

“Alright, easy.” He claps his hands. I got this.” She pauses grinding her weed to lean in. This time, she’s hoping for a more pleasing answer. “I’m going outside every day, rain or shine, even if it’s a hurricane, and I’m screaming up at the sky and demanding the universe turn you back.”

Wrong again. “Oh, so you only care for my human body and not my worm body?” she says indignantly as she struggles to roll her joint.

He grabs her face and kisses her forehead. “Baby, please, you already know you’d have a 6-foot terrarium in our room” he takes her rolling tray off of her and starts fixing her shitty rolling. “but I know you’d be sad cuz you wouldn’t be able to talk. Hence my screaming at the universe.” He licks the end of the rolling paper and seals the joint up. “It’s all for you, my love.” And he holds the perfectly rolled joint out. He learned to roll for her recently. He can only roll joints thought because blunts are for losers, and Y/N doesn’t fuck with tobacco. 

She takes it from him, completely shocked. “Well,, I guess that’s nice of you?” Referring to his hypothetical screaming and his unhypothetical miracle joint rolling skills. “Since when did you know how to do anything even remotely related to drugs?” 

“Last week. I thought I would help my baby out in all her endeavors.” He cracks a smile, knowing he’s thoroughly impressed her. 

She spaces out for a few seconds, then Says, “Could I come outside sometimes?”

He nods, instantly, knowing that her brain just did a factory reset, and is talking about the worm hypothetical again. “Mhmm, I’d put you in my shirt pocket, and we’d go on dates, and I’d get you plates of dirt to eat.” This was not the answer she was looking for because it was so much better, and just so perfectly Matt.

“You’re amazing.”

He pats her head. “I’ll go get you some snacks and water, Lovie.” He leaves, and Y/N feels so comfy and loved. 

“Get my special cup, please!” she yells to the kitchen. The cup in question is a 40-oz stainless steel tumbler that says Daddy’s Girl. Matt knows she’s in subspace. 

When he comes back to the room, Y/N is all cuddled up in bed with the stuffed shark he won at the fair last month. He’s got her special cup in hand and his arms full of chips. He throws them all on the bed and hands over the cup. “Got your cuppy, Sweetheart.”

“Thank you, Daddy.” he never liked being called Daddy before he met Y/N. She just brings something out in him. When she’s around, he just wants to take care of her in every conceivable way. 

“Anything for you, Baby.” He sits beside her on the bed, and she lies her head on his lap. Matt feeds her chips as they watch Family Guy. It’s amusing watching tv with Y/N when she’s high because she can’t follow the plot story shit. He likes asking her what she thinks is happening and listening to her crazy, convoluted answers. 

Somehow, over the course of a couple of hours Y/N ends up sitting between his legs with her back against his chest. She cranes her neck and stares up at him for a while. His lips look so soft, and she can’t look away. Matt notices this and tries to focus her back on the show. “So, what do you think Brian and Stevie are up to right now?”

“D’know.” She shrugs and continues to look at him.

“Do you need something, baby?” He asks.

“Mhmm,” she said, shaking her head and biting her lip.

Matt knows exactly where she’s going with this. “What do you need,

Love. You have to tell me before I can help you.”

“I need you, Daddy.” with that, she opens up a whole new can of worms.

Smutty part 2

Masterlist

Taglist

[hana-no-seiiki]

PRETTY WHEN YOU CRY

YANDERE! ACTOR OC x IDOL! READER x YANDERE! FAN OC

— inspired by oshi no ko & lana del ray’s pretty when you cry. ff: did you know i was gonna have my usernames in social medias be “akumarine” which mixes my two fixations att (oshi no ko & iruma)? no? well now you do!

tw/cw: yandere themes; mentions of seggs and substances but no smut. mentions of non-con. reader is a cold-hearted bastard. substance use. character death. murder. reader gets called pretty (but that’s a gn term so fite me). necrophillia.

this was inspired by uh… one of gen’s stories. let’s say. and mr. devil’s stoner reader.

MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI

“I’ll wait for you babe, that’s all I do, babe.”

GENIUSES WERE BORN, NOT CREATED

That was the mindset Kahliel had. Some people were literally and figuratively born different. Only a select few were able to gaze into the intricacies of their craft and tune it to heights others could only imagine.

You were one such genius. It only took one gaze to understand that. You saw the set in ways even he didn’t account. The lighting, the blocking, and the subtle body language, the angles of which you thrived in. He only heard of your amazing work as an idol, how you manage to look entrancing in every shot and moment, how you are able to mesmerize even those that swore they hated you.

But genius, true geniuses also have one other trait Kahliel recognized. It was their heartless nature.

You two met on set years ago as young adults. It was one of his earlier works as the main actor. Not a film, but a musical. Even then he could see the void in your eyes. Your cold demeanor repelled the people around you. He could have never expected that kind of performance from a person who seemed to hate even the regular ground they walked on, much more the stage.

That musical launched him to stardom and led to you two having sex for the first time.

“All those special times I spent with you, my love. They don’t mean shit compared to all your drugsz”

It was embarrassing really. Kahliel had no time and therefore no prior experience on such things. But you just looked so pretty underneath the blue dim lighting of the club the afterparty was held in. A drink, maybe a couple of weed later and you found yourselfs in a dingy motel’s bedroom. Entangled in eachother’s bodies, the scent of sex, sweat and the strongest of all — puke wafting through the air.

He couldn’t believe it. He admired you for quite a bit. Sure you are stoic, standoffish. But there were times you’d defend him from other people on set. You weren’t cruel and unfair.

At least, he thought you were.

Kahliel was proud of his performance as an actor. So, as you left him that night. Without so much as a farewell. He does not cry.

He does not weep.

Even as his heart was shattering.

HE MEETS YOU AGAIN ON MUSIC VIDEO SET. YOUR MUSIC VIDEO’S SET.

And it took him everything not to run up to you. He had not heard about you at all after the musical. Too focused with his own career and distraught by the way you treated him and left, he threw himself into acting, partying, fucking other actors and actresses — heck even randos or fans who’d take his money and shut up about it. It was only by destiny’s design that you two cross paths again.

“[Y/N]?”

“Yes?”

Indifference. The same look you gave him way back then. Like he was just dirt underneath your shoe. You probably don’t even remember that you’ve slept with him once before. Much less the kindness you spared when everyone else looked down at him. The very reason he entrusted his virginity to you.

But then, there was also something else. Your eyes were blood-shot. Your countenance, despite being as heavenly as he remembered, showed signs of deterioration.

You were high.

“No, I just wanted to give you these. As a token of acting together once again.” He said as he presented a large bouquet of spider-lilies, practically blinding you with its reds.

“Thank you. Leave them over there.” You pointed to a corner with a grateful smile.

Later on, he saw you throwing his gift in the trash. Not a hint of emotion on your face.

“But I don’t really mind, I’ve got much more than that.”

Viné was a fan of yours from the very beginning. Under the pseudonym Grapevine, he’d post regular updates. Essentially he stalked you for a living. He had a day job of course. But his true passions lied with watching you on the daily

You’ve gotten sloppy lately. You almost never check your gifts from him. Accepting them eagerly. Not a care in the world if they were bugged or with a tracker.

He used to think that it was terrible how you got into substances. Worried how it’d impact your health and performance on stage and screen. But now, now he reveled in it.

Viné already knew where you lived of course. But there were times where you’d move all of sudden or where he wasn’t free to check on you.

Now, his hands trembled in ecstasy as he watched you in your room.

But you were with someone else.

Viné didn’t care for much aside from what you starred in, and even in those songs or films all he could focus on was you.

So who was this man standing in your room as you were drugged out? Pushing you unto your bed with a grin so wide it hurt just to look at it.

Viné stared as this man defiled you. He watched as he saw him squeezed you tight, smothering his filthy lips all over your body.

You . . .

You were betraying him.

How could you do this to him? He supported you all this this time but this is how he gets repaid? A free show to watching his god be with someone else?

He does not watch the rest of the live-show. Utterly disgusted by your behavior and cheating.

He quickly made his way through the mess and trash strewn all over his house and grabbed a dull knife from the kitchen. He sets off into the night.

He had to teach you a lesson.

The two men, despite your arms going limp, continued their actions. Unaware that you had choked on your own vomit a while ago.

A smile was etched on your face, pretty as it always was.

©️ hana.no.seiiki - yun | 2023

[slutforben]

here's how i think the creeps smoke and what some of them are like when they're high

i like to think that the pastas with non-physical bodies, or non-human bodies can’t get physically harmed really bad, so doing stuff like drugs doesn’t affect them negatively that much. with me saying that, please don’t take this as inspiration to go do drugs. you are not a creepypasta. you have a physical body ( probably ) and please don’t go do drugs because of this post. anyway, here’s how i think the creeps have a fun saturday night. i am not liable for anything ever.

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Jeff: it’s well known on this blog that this bastard will smoke anything, out of anything, with anything, that he can get his dirty fucking hands on. he doesn’t consider himself a stoner, but he will smoke with someone is invited. or alone, he doesn’t care. i think his favorite drugs are edibles that have like 200mg in them. he eats them all. absolutely fucks them up. then he lays on the living room couch, stoned out of his mind, watching pastas come in and out from their assigned jobs. he thrives knowing that he’s liked just enough by slender to sit on his ass and watch everyone else work. probably vapes too, enjoys menthol and mint flavors most but secretly enjoys fruity flavors, specifically white peach and strawberry. also smokes cigarettes a lot, but nowhere near as much as tim or brian. jeff loves the burn they give in his lungs. when high, he's much more impulsive, much more offensive, much more violent, and just overall more of a jerk off.

BEN: ben definitely vapes as his main choice of getting high; he’s the type of kid in school who skips class to go vape and fiend in the bathroom with the upperclassmen. he knows how to do tricks, how to hold the vapor in hella long, and loves trying to hit multiple vapes at once. i’m talking 4 through his mouth, 1 through his nose all at once. his go to flavors are fruity flavors and his favorite types are geek bars, referred to as “ the geekers. “ loves orange creamsicle, raspberry peach, and mango flavors the most. also smokes weed when he’s home; prefers to smoke with blunts or carts but has a fancy bong that he’s incredibly protective of. smokes indica-type strains mostly, and his favorite time of day to smoke is late night-early morning. he doesn’t mind smoking alone but loves to smoke with jeffery or toby. loves to try to get toby as baked as humanly possible. sometimes, rarely, once in a blue moon type of rare, tim will smoke with ben if he’s had a really boring day. brian and dark link are also regulars during ben’s smoke sessions. silver likes to sit in and hang out too but never joins in. ben would probably have sex high, maybe i’ll make another post about that. the hardest thing he’s ever done was molly, had a really weird trip so now he only sticks to vaping and smoking weed. 

toby: he seems like he’d smoke cigarettes the most, but i also like to think that he smokes weed and vapes pretty often. gets his cigarettes from tim, either buying them off him or stealing them. doesn’t have his own weed stash, so he goes to smoke with ben instead and fiend off him. toby has an abnormally high thc tolerance, so it takes a little bit more to get him high, and ben always takes this as a challenge to see how stoned he can get toby. likes minty-flavored vapes, specifically juuls and geekbars. he’s the type of high to sit around and be lazy, be laid back and flirty, and say and do stupider things than usual. the hardest thing he’s ever done was molly with ben, his trip wasn’t as weird and was pretty dope in his opinion, he’d do it again. tries to smoke multiple cigarettes at once, fails and almost throws up.

slenderman: doesn’t smoke often, but has a box of old-timey cigars he keeps on him at all times that he will rarely smoke. he likes the smell of cigars and cigarettes but isn’t fond of the smell of weed that lingers in the Manor halls. 

masky: likes his cigarettes, prefers marlboro reds but will smoke any kind. he’s been smoking since his late teens so sometimes he’s got a raspy voice and rough smokers cough that makes you jump if it’s quiet. doesn’t care much for weed, but will smoke with hoodie and ben if he’s had a boring day, or if he’s feeling nostalgic. has hit ben’s vape a couple times, doesn’t mind it and would buy his own if desperate for a buzz and didn’t have his cigarettes on him. ben pays him to buy his vapes and weed since he’s obviously over 21, and in turn he gets ben to pay for his cigarettes. the hardest thing he’s done is coke, tweaked out incredibly hard and then swore to never do it again. 

Hoodie: not as heavy of a cigarette smoker as tim is, but still runs out of packs pretty quick. smokes weed more often with ben and jeff than any other person, prefers to smoke it early morning so he can unwind from his workday. he’s the type of high to get really philosophical and have deep conversations, and still wonder about them days after. has hit ben’s vapes but doesn’t really care for it, likes the minty ones more than others but still prefers cigarettes. sometimes buys ben’s stuff if tim can’t get it in exchange for free weed. will smoke multiple cigarettes at once and not throw up. the hardest thing he’s done was pills, has a pretty bad addiction but got himself out of it with tim’s help.

eyeless jack: i can’t see him smoking weed or vaping, or even cigarettes that often. maybe a cigarette every once in a while, but that’s only if he’s stressed out and it’s a really specific setting, or he just barely saved someone’s life and he needs to relieve that build-up. most likely smoked weed a little bit and experimented during college, although never wanted to do anything to hard due to personal experiences with friends and family doing it. the hardest thing he’s ever done was secretly acid, had a terrible trip and will never touch it again. 

laughing jack: has done meth before, would probably do it again. 

clockwork: she’s a cigarette girl. loves her cigarettes, laughs at ben’s tutti-frutti flavored vape. smokes a lot with tim and brian in the shop, the littered cigarette butts on the ground are hers by a significant amount. the hardest thing she’s done is molly, enjoyed her trip and would do it again probably. 

dark link: loves to smoke weed with ben, that’s his preferred way to get high. doesn’t care much for cigarettes cause he doesn’t like the smell, but does enjoy ben’s menthol vapes. loves bongs and joints equally, but loves blunts the most. likes carts a lot too, and will take edibles like they’re candy. he’s the type to get high and get really really flirty, but did we expect anything less from dark? likes to get crossfaded too, but doesn’t ever remember the night before when he wakes up, but ben and his trusty cameras do. the hardest thing he’s ever done is so many shrooms that he thought he was in hell. 

glitchy red: prefers weed and vaping over cigarettes, and only likes getting high at night in a group or with at least one other person. fiends off of ben’s vapes, and likes the fruity flavors, specifically strawberry or kiwi. prefers to smoke weed out of bongs or pipes, but will settle for carts or joints. he’s the type of high to also get really flirty and would have sex while high as well. would probably be more experimental too. also really lazy when he’s high, just wants to sit and chill and eat a bunch of food. the hardest thing he’s done is probably shrooms. And the trip was alright. 

lost silver: i don’t see him smoking really at all out of shyness and no urge to do it. nobody pressures him, and he doesn’t see the point, so he just kinda hangs out when people are smoking, preferably ben. he has hit ben’s vapes a couple times, didn’t mind the minty flavors but just doesn’t see the enjoyment in it. has hit ben’s bong once, and one hit was enough for him to almost green out. 

nina: she LOVES her girly flavored vapes. doesn’t care much for cigarettes or weed, but will smoke ben’s bong in exchange for gossip she hears around that he hasn’t picked up on yet. loves hitting ben’s tutti-frutti vapes, and will chief his dead ones from him. likes strawberry, pina colada, and white grape the most. when she’s high she gets really energized and talkative and will yap your ear off. ben is her vape plug, she tells him what she wants and he sends tim out to get it. hardest thing she’s done i imagine could be acid or shrooms.  

[jacenbren]

My Saiki K headcanons because I can’t think of any other ways to satisfy my hyperfixation rn:

Nendou is fully aware that Saiki has psychic powers but it never crossed his mind that that was weird

Kaidou fucking LOVES magic: the gathering and has one of those books full of cards

He also loves digimon. Aren is a devout pokemon enjoyer. yes they are constantly at each others throats trying to insist that their favorite is better

It took much convincing, but the rest of the gang managed to convince Saiki to join their weekly D&D sessions. Saiki whines and complains every time they drag him there. he then proceeds to have the time of his life every session without fail

Aiura was one of those girls who had a shit ton of Barbie dolls as a kid and sometimes she and Toritsuka get together to play with them (aka act out horrific and violent soap opera scenarios that every child who owned Barbie dolls concocted)

Mera and Nendou bond over their mutual love of food and watch food network cooking contests with the enthusiasm of white suburban dads watching the Superbowl

Nendou regularly picks Saiki up like a sack of potatoes to hug him. Saiki will never admit in a million years that he absolutely loves it

Teruhashi saw that Saiki barely acknowledges her existence and had a realization of “oh wow he isn’t obsessed with me simply because of my looks and treats me like a person rather than some unattainable object of desire I want to spend more time with him because he doesn’t superficially adore me” but she misinterpreted it as a crush and is EXTREMELY confused

Akechi & Saiki = adhd/autistic besties

Nendou & Saiki = also adhd/autistic besties but in like a queerplatonic way????

Saiki won’t admit it but he likes hanging out with Akechi because the guy does all the talking for him and all he has to do is listen

Saiki secretly really likes Hairo because his internal monologue is pretty much the same as how he presents himself to others (Saiki finds Hairo’s sincerity oddly comforting)

Saiki also finds it oddly comforting that he can’t read Nendou’s mind because when spending time alone with him Saiki isn’t constantly bombarded by an internal monologue

Aiura and Saiki casually bully Toritsuka on the regular

“Just get a boyfriend arent you bi” “damn Toritsuka nobody wants you fr”

Kaidou can’t whistle. Aren constantly teases him about it. Kaidou will then attempt to climb his body like a tree and strangle him.

Aiura is a stoner

Saiki is very much affected by weed

Saiki + Aiura’s “special” coffee brownies she made one day and put in the fridge not remembering that Saiki is an utter bastard when it comes to stealing other peoples snacks = utter chaos

Saiko secretly really wants friends but due to his upbringing he doesn’t know how to act around people in lower tax brackets

Saiki sometimes sits next to him at lunch out of pity

Nendou learned how to make coffee jelly after finding out that Saiki loves it

Every year for Saiki’s birthday the gang throws him a surprise party (Saiki is never surprised because of his powers but he’s always so touched by the gesture that he can’t help but play along)

[jamisonwritestf2trash]

SWORDVAN HCS??? PLS I LOVW. SWORFDVAN

Swordvan Headcanons!

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Is this considered a rare pair? I'm down. It's actually really cute.

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Sniper first caught feelings for Demo after they shared a drink after a match. They had done this a million times before, but this time, it was just different. Demo's laugh, smile, and stories left Sniper's head spinning by the end of the night.

Demo knew from the moment he watched Sniper blow an enemies brains across the field. He glanced up to the vantage point, bot realizing they were so close, and locked eyes with Sniper, who gave him a nod and a wink. Demo nodded back and went back to the fight, but he couldn't get the picture out of his mind the rest of the day.

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DEMO KNITS FOR SNIPER!!! I actually think that Demo knitted all the mercs something special for their birthdays at least once. If Demo is knitting something as a confession, he's making something insanely detailed and personal. If they're dating, then he's making the cheesiest, purposefully ugliest and silliest sweaters and scarves and focing him to wear them. Sniper is convinced very quickly because even if the gifts are ugly or silly, they have a charm, and Sniper genuinely appreciates all of them.

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They don't have a lot of nicknames for each other, but they tend to call each other bastard or fucker in the most endearing way. Occasionally, though, you could hear them calling each other love. Sniper has called Demo his starlight when he feels sweeter. Most of the time, cusses of various degrees are terms of endearments for each other.

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They love to go on long drives together. They leave during the evening and come back early in the morning. They talk for hours on these trips and never have a particular reason for going, a place to go, or a want to get back. They just enjoy each other's company. Demo has nightmares, and Sniper has insomnia, so neither have a desire to sleep most nights so the drives distract from the exhaustion.

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They cuddle a lot!!!! When they aren't (or can't be) driving, they stay in Snipers van to get away from the other mercs, so they find themselves just laying together, sleeping, and just being content in each others arms (I actually think all the mercs are insanely touch starved, all of them are like this ngl 😭)

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Sniper is a stoner 100% Demo is totally okay getting high as fuck with him, they het super giggly and silly together while high as a kite. They get super sentimental and soft during the times they're high too.

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Sniper and Demo's depression for depression goes hard! They both underrated each other deeply and end up having very serious conversations late at night about life and how hard its been for them so far.

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Not a lot, but hey, I think it's cute! I hope all my swordvan pals like this. Sorry if it's not great 💖

New posts soon!

[saltielena]

it will never not amaze me how the jrwi boys play WILDLY different characters in each campaign

like charlie plays a paladin fish who is overconfident and easily gullible, but atthe same time he plays a pathetic teenage boy who despite being tired of being the smart one— would fucking die for his friends. and ontop of that he played a fucked up Guy who wouldve gotten shoved in lockers in highschool who has a lizard and a Posession.

do not get me started on bizly playing a tricky and charismatic bastard with a haunting past and a neverending bond with two people he met under Strange circumstances, while playing a robotic and gory tortured suit of armor who will kill anything in his path. and he plays a stoner who would shit his pants if he saw a fucking bear!

and condi?? plays a literal girlboss with so much damn respect for the world and nature around her while still being a badass with a fucking GUN. he plays a confused teenage elf boy who is a rebellious genuine murderer. he played a god damn pushover lawyer who KICKS ASS and gets high off shiitake mushrooms.

grizzly. oh my God grizzlyplays. he plays a mysteriously charming bard with an aspiration to only make the world fair through theft. he plays a stoner prettyboy bisexual rockstar with a terrifying calmness to him as he watches birds splatter on his car. he plays a god damn rambunctious undiagnosed autistic teenager with an insatiable appetite who refuses to kill and stands by it.

thats. insane to me? and the npcs these guys make, oh my god. i am literally in love with most of the prime defenders npcs (come on. lightspeed? how do you not love her) and every god damn riptide npc has more personality and life than i could even muster. blood in the bayou? more like! holy fuck! rat! my boy! becky jrwi! kisses her! and ill god damn say it worm boy from apotheosis deserves more

in short: pretzel jrwi is the greatest being

[doofus-and-dragons]

This will more than likely be the last one of these I have. So, for the last time, here is my live reaction to the final season of TMA. These will be in no particular order because ice been listening to it over the span of a couple of weeks. I only listen to it at work.

TMA S5 Spoilers ahead

The cabin episode made me so sad. The eyepocolypse had even taken away their domestic bliss

I really don't remember the trenches that well. It's not a fear of mine, so it didn't shake me or stick well enough. Still good tho

The sickness episode sent me right back to senior year of highschool. I had to take a minute KXNSKXN

REVOLUTIONS WAS AMAZING I LOVED THE POETRY AND THE ACENGING OF SASHA BY KILLING NOT!SASHA. I love it.

At first I thought the worms was about Jane again but I was very wrong. It was a very interesting take!

Curiosity made me incredibly sad. I feel bad for Eric, Micheal, and Sarah(? Trinity? I don't remember. She was set on fire by a desolation avatar I think)

Also: Gertrude x Agnes perhaps???? Or at least solemn pinning? Maybe I just think it's slightly tragic to make it so and sometimes angst is good yknow?

Roots was ok, but the only part that stuck out to me was the jealous Martin scene. I listened to it like 3 times. I kept rewinding it just to list to it.

Fire Escape was SO good! It gave me a kind of manic energy as I listened to the descriptions of the fire.

Martin in the Lonely again made me cry. That's it.

"Who's this? Your boyfriend?" "Yes actually." "Oh...so is there anyway this doesn't end in me dead?"

The Basira and Daisy stuff actually did make me feel bad for Basira. Like, it's the apocalypse and she's having a whole ass crisis.

SALESA WAS INCREADIBLE

I wonder how he faked his death... man is talented and smart, I'll give him that

Skipping ahead to Martin's domain. Loved that. My boy isn't strictly human and I love that he can't deny that fact anymore.

Martin: Something something "one of you"

Jon, being a smug theater kid bastard boy: "One of us."

Like I heard that and I imagined him smirking ominously and gesturing with both his hands

He sounded so pleased that his boyfriend, as miniscule a role it had or that martin had, was like him, and I love that for him

I'm so glad Melanie and Georgie are happy. Though, the cult does weird me out (cults give me the heebie jeebies. It was a very nice touch!)

They deserve nice things.

Also, my favorite of the Cult members was Anil's character. I can't remember his name right off the top of my head, but he was wonderful. Anil did amazing with that little cameo/role

The scene where's he's arguing with Martin reminds me of that Jojo meme with jotoro and dio, but instead of stands they have their poetry clutched tight in their fists

"I dont need a poet." No, Jon, because you already have one. His name is Martin

Of course Jon gets trapped in the ocean when he doesn't have big string martin to row him out of it XD

SOMEWHERE ELSE SOMEWHERE ELSE SOMEWHERE ELSE

Annabelle Cane is wonderful, I'm so glad Jon didn't kill her. She's so chummy with Martin up until she has to be a dramatic villain and I love that for her!

The ladder episode made me grin like a maniac manly because I would be the Martin in that situation. I love the feeling of falling/floating, but I hate actually getting myself to fall. I physically can't do it. I can barely dive into the lake from my papaw's boat

Martin, there are thousands of fanfics that dive into you two getting together without the trauma. Don't even.

NO JON THE PLAN

Hey, real elias! That's where him being a stoner comes from! Because he is one! Nice.

I love og Elias, and I would protect him with my life I don't care.

Oh wait it was just Magnus dreaming

JON NO THE PLAN FUCKING HELL

I almost cried when Martin was yelling at Jon. The boys are fighting

THE KISS HOLY SHIT ALEX SAKD THEY WOULDNT KISS THEY KISSED AH

They're somewhere else being happy and domestic now you can't change my mind

[justanotheroutlastfanblog]

The Outlast College AU: the cast

Eddie Gluskin:

Eddie Gluskin (also known as "Ed" or "the groom" in a mocking way) is a failed pre-med student who switched over to fashion design and merchandising and is known for his "retro" style of dress along with his misogynistic behavior. He is a social outcast due to how he acts so despite his good looks and "charming" personality, he seldom ever gets dates or even respect from his other peers (functionally making him an incel). He is "friends" with Frank (although this is mostly just because Frank also happens to live with him) and that is really about it. And despite his bizarre standards for women and beliefs surrounding sexuality: he is dating Val who is the polar opposite of all of what he holds dear.

Frank Manera:

Frank Manera is Eddie's weed-smoking, whisky-drinking, grunge music-loving culinary school dropout roommate. Unlike Eddie, he is a social outcast by choice and actively chooses not to socially engage with other people or things. Frank is probably the most easy-going person you might meet partly due to the fact he is high all the time but also due to his "I really do not give a shit" attitude he has about practically everything. If it is not about his pickup truck, guns, food, weed, or the bands he likes he could care less. Frank is also occasionally seen at Crust-punk bars and other hole-in-the-wall places around MMU despite not being a student.

Val:

Val is a former member of the hyper-religious cult Temple Gate who once held the role of being the "mother" of all of the bastard children of its leader, Knoth, along with the orphans. She was unable to biologically produce children (functionally be a broodmare) so she took on the role of raising them instead. Val escaped the cult when she was 17 and attempted to bring others with her but was unable to. After her escape, she began to hyper-indulge in sex, drugs, body mods, and all of the other things she was never allowed to even talk about while living on the commune. She never got an education and instead opted to continue partying while also taking a job at a Spencers near MMU. She is dating Eddie Gluskin for reasons not fully understood. And despite her new life of freedom and indulgence, she is still on the run from the cult who does periodically attempt to drag her back. She still misses some members of the cult, specifically the children she cared for and wanted to take with her, but also deeply fears being dragged back too much to do anything.

Miles Upshur:

Miles is a journalism student at MMU who also works at the Spencers with Val. He is yet another stoner similar to the likes of Frank only with a significantly more conspiratorial slant. He is best friends with Waylon Park and frequently pulls him into his strange schemes and ventures (like when he goes ghost hunting in abandoned asylums or attempts to prove aliens exist). And much to his friend's horror: he overall lacks a sense of self-preservation and self-control which frequently results in him getting into a lot of dangerous situations.

Waylon Park:

Waylon Park is a computer science major at MMU and the unwitting best friend/accomplice of Miles. He is a lot more timid than his best friend and spends most of his time locked in his apartment streaming video games or working on various coding projects and actively avoids danger/confrontation. He is dating Lisa, a literature major, and is in a pretty steady relationship with her. Due to his more ambiguous appearance, he was mistaken for a woman and thus pursued by Eddie but that was quickly shut down when the truth was revealed and a restraining order was filed.

Rick Trager:

Rick Trager is an extremely shifty business professor teaching at MMU who may or may not be addicted to cocaine. The only reason he has not been fired is due to his tenure at the university.

Jermey Blaire:

Trager's equally as shifty/douchy TA who practically models himself after Patrick bateman.

Chris Walker:

Chris Walker is a former combat veteran going back to school after his time in the service. His exact major is unclear as it has changed several times. But due to his emence size and overall strength he is also a coveted member of the MMU football team. Chris does not have a particularly close relationship with anybody and only happens to know Miles because he had a class with him once (and in turn grew to dislike him as he came off extremely annoying).

Blake Langermann:

Blake is a fellow jornalisim major along with Miles and is a catholic school survivee. Blake is only mildly acquainted with the likes of Miles and Waylon and instead focuses a majority of his time on working on projects with his girlfriend Lynn who is also a journalism major. These projects are usually Exposes regarding local controversies or drama going on (along with the periodic serious human rights/civil rights violation). However, he will join Waylon and Miles on their bullshit adventures from time to time.

Father Martin:

He is the weird guy standing outside of MMU with a large sign only instead of telling people they are going to hell, he warns of the end times and weird ghost demons coming but it is unclear if he is for or against them.

Sullivan Knoth:

Is the leader of the Cult Val escaped from and one of the main antagonists in Val's life. He is functionally the same compared to how he is in the game minus the radio tower frequencies: he is just crazy naturally.

Marta:

Is funtionally the "Sister Cindy" of MMU. She, unlike Father Martin, does accuse all of the students of being whores and tells them they will burn in hell if they don't repent (and do so to Knoth's teachings). She is also the closest immediate threat to Val's freedom and safety outside of the cult given she is still actively looking for her (dubbing her "the Heretic").

Ethan:

The only person from the cult Val is still somewhat in contact with. He is too attempting to escape given his fading faith had the fact Knoth sexually assaulted his daughter and is denying his wife the ability to get cancer treatments as "only god can decide if she lives". He tried to leave with Val initially but had to stay behind in order to at least allow Val to escape and to protect his family.

Billy Hope:

Billy is a highschooler who has functionally adopted by the MMU football team and is "enrolled" at the school a year early so he can play football. His mother, Tiffany, more or less signed off on it due to the hefty sum of money she was offered to allow her son to play.

"The Twins":

Really creepy townies everybody avoids and can usually be spotted with Martin

Pauline Glick:

The asshole president of MMU who may or may not be taking bribes and doing a bunch of illegal shit along with Blaire and Trager

"Mother Gooseberry (Phyllis Futterman)":

Is a washed-up former children's TV host who later became an art teacher at MMU. She teaches several of the more "technical" arts classes such as sewing and technical drawing. However, she also teaches dental classes at MMU although not that many. It is unclear when or if she even got a degree in dental medicine. But given she is only teaching more "anatomy" based lessons and is not actually practicing medicine: it is looked over by MMU administration.

Leland Coyle:

The campus cop who is activly on a power trip, all of the time.

"The Pusher":

The guy who sells literally everybody drugs. Weed, coke, you name it, he has it.

[jam-packed]

i saw someone post abt the netflix show kaos (which is good u should watch it) and during my watch, i did subject my friend to who (in motogp) would best fit the characters in the show.

spoilers cus im gonna explain them within context and talk about the ending and my prayers for a season 2 :( and 3 actually but thats it.

going to separate this in groups of confident to 🤨🤨🤨 yk. anyways.

Set In Stone (to me):

zeus - TOTALLYYYY vale. eccentric bastards, but very entertaining, very likable in the beginning despite their wrongdoings. i feel like in a different world, vale would be wearing tracksuits around his big ass mansion but a guy has to find joy in dressing like a 15 yo boy so props ig (speaking of, i LOVEEE the wardrobe of this show. muy muy bueno to me.....) both have such an intense paranoia on how others receive them and their eternal impact on the world. its all about aging and their race to defy it, but they cant and that comes to be their downfall. regardless, theyre both crazy powerful and crazy in general they are like. the same guy.

poseidon - jorge lorenzo. in some inherent way. poseidon is jorge to me. theres the (for lack of a better term) jealously that poseidon has for zeus (in terms of hera) that jorge has w vale when it comes to personability/marketability. that, and the way poseidon acts is very jorge to me as well. the way he stands like hes in drag race. anyways, theres a nonchalance to poseidon's character and how he interacts with humans that makes me think, "yeah if jorge had this much power, he would act in this way."

hear me out here. hera - dani. not just because hera and poseidon are having an affair, mind you. but yes also mostly that. because im not knowledgeable about dani uh at all im going to base this on how ive seen him ride in the past. dani, to me, is an incredibly strong rider, hes very determined and sound in his efforts. but theres always someone stronger. and while that doesnt inherently mean he is fearful of them, i feel like within the context of the show, hed probably act in the same ways hera does despite how highly she considers herself. hera's a cunt in this and tbh dani is cunt to me with that crazy power i think hed be similar. also im not saying that dani sucks as a rider, its just. the vale/casey/jorge/marc of it all 😕 bad timing

prometheus - casey fuckin stoner, man. were casey and vale ever friends? idk im sure at points. they follow each other on instagram and casey loves to hate so idk. regardless, casey would be totally on board to help a cosmic plan to take down vale, would he kill his wife for it? real vale, no, zeus vale, its reaching towards the table. prometheus and stoner dont have the same humor, but theyre smart, they know how to act. even if casey isnt one for media, he can beat vale on a bike (ducatis on the straights omgggg). and prometheus and zeus are this weird battle of wits and intelligence. im not saying vale is stupid, im saying that he is blind to his insecurities and that can harm him in the same way it hurts zeus in this series.

marc has to have his own segment cus i could make arguments for 4 different characters. walk with me:

riddy/eurydice - stubborn, headstrong, cunt(y), defined moral code. riddy is such an interesting person within this show and i think marc is very similar to her in some respects. one of the main downsides though is the lack of codependency she has with literally anyone. shes not close to a lot of people, shes kinda isolated (from what i interpret, and idk if thats the fault of orpheus but for the sake of ease, lets say riddy does it herself), but she can connect with people easily. marc doesnt really do that. one, no álex, thats never gonna happen; two, he has a hard time being alone, their upbringings are incredibly different, which may have a major part to play in all of that, and that would kinda change who marc is (duh)---if he were alone all his life rather than surrounded by his closest friends and family, as he is now. so, if you want like. bezquez with a sour note, then yeah go marc eurydice, but idk its not my favorite. maybe luca or pecco (pecco is NOT riddy do not listen to me!!!!)

ari/ariadne - the brotherisms go crazy. very similar to riddy in that she is incredibly headstrong. she is not stubborn she is filled with guilt for something she didnt do my sweet lovely little pookiebear i should not be saying that whatever. so, ari's brother is the minotaur (shocker) and i think itd be interesting to explore marc's love for álex despite not knowing he's alive for YEARS (30 fucking years bro free my girl 😭😭😭). regardless, they are both smart, sympathetic to others, and get shit done when it needs to be. i think they match up as people pretty well, but we once again run into the issue of isolation and relationships throughout upbringing. ari does have some very close relationships as we see in the show (for a few episodes and then never again. ok.) like her father and her bodyguard. is that enough? idk maybe. makes me think abt santi........who will come up later actually. all to say, i think theyd make similar decisions to each other, i think marc if put in this story would be ari to an s (close enough, is my joke). anyways, marc is a good ari if you want a calm, semi-levelheaded marc (who kills someone) who will very likely end up with dionysus. but off the dome idk who dionysus could be. hm.

dionysus - he was my favorite in the show im sorry i want my faves to be each other. dionysus is such a character, hes so guy, i need him to get his cat back. ok, so dionysus is the son of zeus and he wants more responsibility/power---upsettingly, because of how marc is as a rider, i think this is why he ISNT dionysus. dionysus is a character that has to grow into himself (by learning about love ❤️) by killing his dad. haha i joke. but cmon. anyways in the context of dionysus's original goal, ehhhh not marc. but dionysus has this (again for lack of a better term) eccentricity that reminds me of marc. they have larger than life qualities but theyre quite mellow outside of that, they want people to be happy, they want love to prevail, if dennis was shiva he would do the exact same things dionysus does with that cat (carry it everywhere). theres a distance dionysus has with humanity that he loses over the course of the series, and i think thats interesting in marc's case cus once again NOT MARC!!! marc, from accounts that arent him (livio suppo is the only name in my mind rn) say that marc is very like. stable. hes a good kid, he doesnt let fame get to him (or at least how he treats others cus wtf is his house), and dionysus's arc is about connecting w humanity and i dont think marc would really have that problem. yes this was a waste of time yes it was just me convincing myself marc cannot logically be dionysus. this is my post man lemme do what i want :(

persephone - a lot of girls here. wonder what that says about how i view marc. womp womp idgaf. so, persephone is queen of the underworld, wife to hades. she LOVES hades and if we're thinking about old men and the young(ish) people that love them. santi. dovi. persephone is not one to lay down and take it, but hades is so gives me smth to play w in terms of who im going to make not a (I HAVE NO BETTER TERMS) pussy. persephone also loves love, she wants to help the gods because she wants to help her husband but she knows that isnt possible with what the gods (ZEUS COUGH COUGH) are asking them to do, so she defies them, she lies to them, she cares for her husband, she feels sympathy for dionysus and helps him to realize zeus is a lying bastard cunt. with great hair. marc to me. again, like ari, he seems the guy to put his money where his mouth he, he WILL do whats best for people cus he knows they deserve it, he wants to help, he will repay kindness, he doesnt forget (dionysus argument actually. repaying kindness this but i digress).

ares - ares literally isnt in the show yet. he got a technical mention in the last moments of the last episode but like idk......based on my knowledge of motogp and greek mythology and also his name is marc i think itd be cool.........put my man in the show give him a sword let him go ham let him kill god vale pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pl

marc my beautiful enigma u cannot be placed. except i think ari is your best bet at accuracy. especially if we're talking human strength and determination, ari n marc brother.

semi confident but could consider others

orpheus - marco bezzecchi. in my heart of hearts, as much as i love bez, he would probably act like orpheus. omggg hes so in love, he WOULD journey to the underworld but also hes a little evil hes a cunt hes a bastard hes cringefail but hes winning. except not really at all. orpheus has this tendency to. self-pity is my best assumption at a word. very whiny man. to me. cus i didnt really feel bad for him throughout the show. anyways, bez does have that intense loyalty that orpheus has, i do think he would do what orpheus does. bez is also kinda a cunt sometimes and i think he would say and do the twat things that orpheus does as well. the hardest part abt bezpheus is like. whos gonna fall out of love with him. you got a lot of options but they all kinda dont make sense yk? pecco just doesnt make sense w the character, cele does make sense he just probably wouldnt fall out of love or be in love in the first place, luca is also an option. luca marini my cringefail bestfriend who is famous and good at sports and doesnt know me, actually yea its luca. honda move, its luca.

riddy (again) - luca. it needs its own section ok i feel like i need to explain myself. luca, currently, looks like he wants to explode and die, he wants out of his fuckass brother's shadow (i dont hate vale im just full of vitriol) and if we transfer those feelings to loveless marriage, do we see how being hit by a truck and shipped off to the underworld and choosing to go to honda (I LIKE HONDA OK IM SORRY) are similar. did riddy choose to die? no its fate she doesnt really have a choice, but grand scheme of things did luca have a choice? idk, talk it up with a philosopher. im a math major, i could care less (lying).

caeneus (i think?) - álex. i think they look similar. i see caeneus and i go omg its álex márquez 2 time world champ in motorsports brother of marc márquez. also theres this weird like almost timidness that caeneus has that i feel is very similar to how álex acts and talks. hes kinda, and this is going to sound so mean to álex, average. however, he is meant for something more, he is more than the surface level by a long shot. and i think thats true for álex as well. caeneus is also very truthful, hes going to get mad at you, if he doesnt wanna tell you shit he wont but hes not gonna walk around it idly, and álex is a marc lie detector so. theres that. again, some downsides, no codependency brothers wth. anyways luca álex ship name. lucquez. aluca. lucalex. rosquez 2 less evil edition. this is so hard cus of fuckin marc bro free me.

not super confident but sure id consider it

dionysus - pecco. vale son, the favorite at some moments, biffs it at others. i dont think pecco has a problem with loving others in the way that dionysus does (aro dionysus slay) but i think theres mentalities that they both have (given by their respective parental figures) that hinder them in similar ways. pecco does not have dionysus's early personality. pecco is very calm, very controlled, (very mindful very demure) but he can also fight with someone after they crash into him, hes not gonna take everything lightly. idk if hes quick to forgive, nor do i know if hes privy to stew in his feelings. one of the primary relationships (thats explored in the show) dionysus has is with zeus. he visits zeus (the only child to do so), he gives zeus gifts (that get rejected), he steals from him (lmao), he defies him (yayy), he gets punished for defying him (NOO FUCK). turbo as dennis ough the thought brings me anguish. anyways, i think with dionysus being a sort of foil to zeus it works with pecco being a foil to vale. evil vale would say flopnaia is a disappointment tho. anyways, if flopnaia were dionysus, hed probably be feeling and doing and saying the same things as d is in the show. would he be as sexually promiscuous? probably not so yk. confidence low. but woah omg very likely marcnaia what a trip.

i dont wanna write an explanation cus this is getting too long but bez could also be considered for dionysus. literally any vr46 boy could lbr.

and tbh anyone else in the cast would confuse the shit outta me i dont know enough people in motogp in that way. i barely know the ones im talking about 😭😭😭 anyways pls diregard everything i said because it makes no sense to try to put people in the correct slots of other media, just write based on the person, not the character you want to portray, thats what makes them interesting, its what allows for different stories and outcomes. all to say i did this for nothing ❤️

[stolenrocket218]

I just got done watching a full playthrough of Alan Wake 2, and quite frankly I have exactly Two takeaways:

One: Tom Zane is the rattest bastard I have ever laid eyes upon. He's delightfully deranged when you meet him and is also a grand stoner. 10/10

Two: I fucking love Alex Casey and would actually fucking DIE for him. he deserves only the best and I am willing to give it to him. just look at him!!

this right here is the most handsomest bestest man ever. 12/10, if anything ever happens to him I will become violent

[fuck-customers]

Fuck corporate but ESPECIALLY fuck our old replenishment manager, J.

J’s a miserable old bastard who loved to scream at everyone (gee, I wonder why our turnover for replen was wicked high?). Last Christmas season, the store leader finally managed to get him out of our store because of how many complaints had been made against him (of course corporate only moved him to a different store rather than actually fire him because he’s BeEn WiTh ThE cOmPaNy FoR sO lOnG 🙄), and I guess when he found he just made it his mission to fuck us over as much as he could in the time he had left. He absolutely BURIED the back room in boxes, to the point that no one could even move around back there. We had to decline hundreds of items for online orders because we just couldn’t find anything. Shortly after he finally left, our assistant store manager B and new replen manager L found stacks of planograms that he just hid and never bothered to do.

Now, in the new fiscal year, J’s weaponized incompetence has made us drop from a B-tier store to a C, so the assistant manager B is being demoted back to operations manager, which means a significant pay cut. I wasn’t in yesterday but apparently everyone found out at 8 am, and she was so upset the store leader let her go home before we’d even opened at 9 (she was probably supposed to be there until around 3).

B’s a huge stoner, so after my shift today I picked up a pre-roll from the closest dispensary and brought it back for her, and at least that seemed to really brighten her day 😊

@staff I HATE the new text editor!

[jinx-on-mars-19xx]

Broken Doll

Red Leather and Running Mouths

Danger's Bitch

Soda, Cigarettes, and Broken Glass

Dom x Colson (Yungblud x Machine Gun Kelly)

Warnings: top Dom, bottom Col, rough sex, insults, d/s undertones, overtones, and everything in between, bruising, bleeding, biting, fingering, anal sex, ruining furniture, feminization, spanking, MF hate, trying to put each other back together, Col being a brat, Dom being a slightly scary Dom (hopefully in a hot way), subspace 🚬 rating: explicit as fuuuuck 🩸

Dom took a breath as his hands clenched and unclenched at his sides. He could feel his dick pulsing, barely contained by the thin soft material of his briefs. He hadn't been so hard in a while. He had always been a free spirit sex wise but there was something special about the rapper exposing himself on the floor. He always made the boy feel more than normal. No one pissed him off so much and drove him so wild. There was something about the Machine Gun that made him need to dominate. It felt as if he was in love with a sweet school bully or working out trauma from his childhood with the only safe person he ever met. His feelings for Colson never made sense but they didn't make sense together. 

"I didn't come to fuck." He growled, reiterating what he'd already said as he watched the oversized stoner shiver and twitch with anticipation. Every note of his voice made the man jump, his beautifully painted nails tugging his cheeks open wider. It brought a smirk to the punk's face. "I came to take care of yas." 

"You are! Fuck- you are! Only one who can give me what I need. Make me feel b-" 

"Did I say you could speak or was I talking?" Dom's voice was flat and Kells whimpered, visibly sucking his lips between his teeth and biting down. "Tha's better." He sighed, crouching closer to run his finger slowly between the man's pink ass cheeks. "You 'urt me Cols. You 'urt me but I still came to take care of you. No one fucking works me up like you. No one. No one gets me like 'is. I don't bloody dom people." He huffed, resting his fingers on either side of the man's hole in a V and spreading him. It felt obscene and filled his cock somehow more. Everything between them felt obscene though. Colson was obviously tight but they loved it that way though he still hollowed his cheeks and sucked until saliva pooled on his tongue before he spit. His friend was so wound up he jerked at the feeling, grinding his dick on the ottoman. Dom's free hand slapped over his ass again, he hadn't given him permission to find pleasure yet. Fuck though he was a sight, the singer didn't realize how much he'd missed him. 

God that was a lie to his own inner monologue- he knew how much he missed him because he thought about him every day. After everything he'd taken time off dating. Nothing measured up and he didn't want to risk himself. Of course he was more virile than most and he couldn't help but touch himself to thoughts and memories of that perfect ass. After spending a year in that mindset without the true relief of taking the bastard apart on his cock he was a little pent up. Maybe he was enjoying the squirming a little too much. "Is tha' enough?" He purred, leaning closer and spitting again before Kells could offer an answer. 

"Fu-fuck me?" The rapper whimpered, his nails marking up his most sensitive skin and when he heard his lover chuckle he whined. Dom didn't do this for anyone else? He didn't do this for anyone else. No one could make him soft and pliant like the punk who owned him so easily. Women called him daddy and begged for his dick, he didn't even have to ask for sex let alone plead for it like he was about to if the boy didn't take him. No one gave him that sick needy feeling in his stomach. No one else would ever see him like he was. No, he was only Dom's bitch. 

"You probably fink you deserve 'is. You probably fink I'm easy for you. I am. Me anger is easy for you. Me cock. Me 'eart." He sighed, circling the man's quivering hole with the tip of his finger. He teased until the man relaxed and then he pushed inside to the first knuckle. He knew his brat was fighting himself like a champ not to push back. "I should wear a fucking condom wiv yas. Who knows wha' ya 'ad ya filfy cock in. I mean it weren't much more 'an fucking a used pocket pussy so much of 'er were plastic." 

Colson blinked slowly at those words and bit down on his lips again. He was pretty sure Dom hadn't meant to say that out loud but a part of him just loved him more. Catty bitch. His mouth popped free and he let himself moan before looking over his shoulder. "What was that?" He couldn't help but ask, a goofy grin on his face. It shouldn't please him so much but he knew how hard the boy fought to stay positive and kind. Hearing him angry made his cock jerk under him. 

"Nuffin. Shut up. Do you 'ave one?" Dom asked with a blush on his cheeks but when Kells shook his head he arched a brow. "Bullshit." 

"Maybe but… I'm safe. Please? Trust me?" 

Jade eyes met blue and Dom knew he didn't realize how loaded that question was. He didn't know if he could trust him like before, the boy was too much a puppy and gave himself fully to anyone willing to show him love. "I shouldn't. I know better. Should wear one and make you suck it. Shite Kells you know you gonna bleed for me. You trust me? Wha' if I been fucking-" 

"You haven't been." It was said so surely Dom almost spanked him again. He almost got up and left but… Colson was right. He hadn't. "You just said no one gets you like I do." 

"Not sure tha' were a compliment." Dom whispered, surprised at himself he wasn't kicking the man's ass. The rapper smiled, proud of himself and all the suffering he'd caused. Not because he hurt the boy but because someone actually felt something for him. "Why you fucking grinning? You keep it up and you ain't getting fucked." 

"Yeah I am." The man purred, letting his ass go so he could push himself off the ottoman and pull his shirt off. 

"Oh?" There was a flip in Dom's stomach and a twitch in his cock. His balls felt so tight he thought he might bust just dry humping the bastard but that's not what either of them needed. Why was his brat being so… cute?

"Yeah." Col hummed as he wiggled out of his pants and crawled on top of the furniture. When he was settled on knees and forearms, naked as the day he was born, and presenting like some bitch in heat he looked back at his lover and slowly let his thighs spread until his dick hit the leather and his legs were parted slut wide over the footrest. His toes were curled against the floor, his body spread in a way that kept him vulnerable and off kilter. He knew his dom loved it best when he had complete control. "Cause you love me." He tried to keep his voice a tease but butterflies filled his stomach and his heart raced. If Dom said no he might break for good. Shatter like all the glass on the floor. 

"Fuck off. Jus' fuck right off! Fucking wanker you is. Absolute bloody brat. Did I say you could move or talk?" He tried so hard to ignore the feeling in his chest. How dare the man be so… so… right. Dom could feel himself shaking with something between rage and lust and that was fucking it. He stripped his underwear off, stalking close to the man and he threw his leg over Colson's back, riding him to the ottoman. The rapper groaned, his arms going out from under him before his skin slapped the leather and Dom smirked at the sounds. He grabbed for his lover's arms, yanking them behind his back and he wrapped his briefs around his wrists and tied them tight. "You lucky I don't shove em down ya fhroat. 'Ow dare you fink you can talk to me like tha'." He growled, looking over his prone pet before he tangled his fingers tight in blonde hair and pulled his head back, tilting his face up for a rough and messy kiss. Everything felt filthy and rough and he had pent up aggression to work out on that pretty little ass but for just a moment he let his lips admit the bastard was right. Kisses weren't fucking, kisses were making love.

Colson whimpered against his lover's lips. The boy's tongue was filling his mouth like he needed his hole to be but he savored the softer moment and the feeling he knew the punk was trying to get across. He tugged at his restraints and tried not to buck down against the leather but he was getting more desperate by the second. He could feel the dom's cock leaking against his spine, the silky skin of his foreskin and pearly smears of precum just made his need worse. So much worse. There was a soft noise falling from his lips that Dom swallowed before it escaped but he still felt like the bitch he was. Only for him. 

Dom pulled back, his chest heaving in the wake of such a dizzying kiss. He tossed the man down, shoving his cheek against the furniture before he crawled off and walked to stand between those spread lanky legs. He let saliva pool on his tongue as he admired the sight of Col's sweat slick shivering tatted back. Part of him wanted to keep berating him, maybe if he kept snarling he wouldn't feel the truth. He might have Kells a begging bitch of a mess but he was just as hard up for him. He hadn't just come running to help. The man didn't just bring out the good in him, he brought out something no one else could. For good or toxic he loved him. 

Damn him. 

Colson went silent as he listened for his lover's next move but Dom was quiet as a mouse. He tried to reach down to help spread himself again but with his hands tied he couldn't. He knew the punk was enjoying this but honestly… he wasn't as nervous as he used to be. Something had changed for him in that moment. He trusted Dom, he knew he'd be taken care of, he knew the boy felt more for him than he'd like to admit. His cock was pounding, his stomach full of butterflies, his need was so intense it was burning through him but it was almost making him feel at peace. Fuck he'd missed being spread out for the guy. 

Dom spit in his palm and slicked his dick as best he could before gripping Col's hips bruising tight. He tugged him close, placing one knee against the furniture, the other foot finding purchase on the floor. It had been over a year since he felt himself surrounded by his favorite place and he was going to fuck the bastard silly until all he could think was of him. If he heard that bitch's name one more time for the rest of the day he would punish him. It was just that simple. He couldn't drive Dom so far up the wall and get away with it. "Are you done being a brat?" He huffed, grinding his precum and spit wet tip over Col's needy hole, his hips bucking hard enough he felt himself catch against him. 

"Fuck yes- please? Be so good." The rapper whimpered, flexing his cheeks to try and tempt the boy more. Every thrust had Dom's cockhead hooking against his hole and tugging and the tease was driving him wild. He could feel his own dick leaking against the leather, probably ruining the furniture he picked out with- no. He wouldn't think about her but he did let himself grin that his lover's first move here was helping him ruin something she loved. "Just so you know she wants this shit." He explained offhandedly and he caught the boy grinning. 

"I should take a bloody picture but I'll jus' 'elp ya stain it up." Dom chuckled darkly and the sound tickled over Col's skin like spiked silk. Something soothing with a shock of surprise to keep you on your toes. Dom would never let him relax completely. The boy with ADHD was Col's version of Adderall, nothing got him as wired. Nothing had him as addicted as those plush pillow lips and thick hard cock. "Now bite the fucking leather and 'old on." 

"I…" Kells trailed off, flexing his hands under Dom's chest and the boy laughed as if to say 'exactly'. A soft whine escaped him but of course he obeyed, turning his head and closing his teeth around the edge. He knew before long he'd be moaning like the slut he was but daddy got what daddy asked for- not that he'd be caught dead calling him that. 

Dom pushed himself up and watched as the tip of his cock disappeared inside his lover's rosey tight hole. He couldn't help wondering if there were tiny scars left from their first night together and if he'd make new ones in the tissue paper skin. His lip rolled between his teeth as his foreskin was forced back and precum eased his glide inside but fuck- his brat was tight. He could hear Kells whining already, the man was squirming and panting and trying to push back but he just kept riding him down until flesh pressed to flesh. He was home. Everything was right. 

The pace he found was as rough as his kiss had been and he groaned at the way his lover clenched. Every pull out was a fight, every thrust deep felt like heaven. It was a nearly dry fuck but Dom was always wet as a girl, at least when he was dicking Col down. He could see pink coating his cock and he tried not to let that thrill him. He didn't want to hurt the man but… maybe he did. Kells didn't have a word of protest. "Filfy fucking whore you is. At least ya pussy still tight." 

Colson moaned. He could feel his cheeks turning as pink as his asshole probably was but he loved when his dominant debased him. They hadn't really tried feminization before but he knew he started it. "Just for you." He repeated himself slurring and got spanked again for the effort. His hands fought to escape their binding, he needed to touch but he knew he wasn't allowed. All he could do was try to breathe and focus on the searing pleasure-pain and the way his hole throbbed in time with his racing pulse. Dom bucked too hard and his cock almost slipped free, the next thrust deep felt bruising as they squelched back together and he cried out, almost choking. Shit his lover was wet. Somehow he'd almost forgotten but that was his first thought when he felt the punk's dick down his throat. It always made him jealous. 

Dom bit his lip until it was close to bleeding, he could barely control himself but he almost broke the moment he slammed back inside his brat. His strokes got shorter, their bodies slapping together with every thrust. They were sweat shiny and he knew he was drooling on the man, but nothing mattered more than forcing his bitch to that peak just on his cock. His hold on Col's hip tightened and he pulled him up, angling his next plunge down until the rapper was almost sobbing from need. He could feel his dick catching against that swollen spot and he knew he had the man broken and bleeding enough he was lost. He was floating. But Dom would prove himself damnit. Only he could take the bastard apart like that. 

"Like tha' don't yas? Pretty little slut. You know you gonna be- fuck Cols- gonna be a mess. Want tha' don't ya? Be a broken fuck doll for me? Dripping me cum?" Normally he was quiet in bed but Colson brought something out in him. He could still remember demanding the man to watch himself in the mirror. "Tha's the real you." He growled, slowing his hips enough to aim hard and deep. Nails clawed at his stomach, long limbs spasmed under him, and Kells moaned and whimpered.

The man groaned, he was almost hiccuping he was so worked up. That golden coil was pulled so tight he was shaking but with every catch against that spot only Dom could seem to hit right; he was falling deeper into that floating warm headspace and closer to heaven. He tried to speak but it came out a gurgled cry, he was choking on spit and lust. He could still feel the burn but it was just heightening the pleasure and when teeth teased his shoulder he screamed. "Cum." It was short and to the point, a command not an offer and Colson obeyed as if he was just another instrument Dominic had mastered. 

The rapper shook through his orgasm, his hole clenching so tight Dom could barely pull out but he didn't need to. No, just the man's reaction would push him over the edge. His teeth bit down as his hips rocked rough, his cock grinding deep inside his lover. He sucked a mark into Col's skin, claiming him in such a simple way but it soothed the anger inside him and he finally let go. Maybe this was Colson but it was him too and as he fell over that edge he let himself admit it. White heat filled and spilled out of that tight pink hole and he let himself silently worship his lover. His. "Mine." 

Colson thought he heard Dom speak but he couldn't pay attention to anything besides the feel of cum getting fucked back out of him. It was like even after orgasm the boy couldn't stop but finally when they were both trembling from overstimulation Dom slowed and untied his wrists before he laid against his spine. He couldn't speak. He couldn't do anything besides shake and try to slow his ragged breaths. No one could fuck him up- or fuck him like Dominic. He certainly felt like a broken open doll and he loved it. For once he didn't feel like making a joke and dismissing everything that just transpired and when the kid rolled them to their sides and held him close he let him. More than anything he just wanted to float in the fuzzy pink cloud and be grounded by the arm around his chest and the growing soft cock keeping him plugged full. More than anything he finally wanted to fucking rest. 

Author's Note/Tags: @hollywoodxwhore @jaxbreaker @manicpixiedreamb0y @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker @cole-way-iero28 🖤

Hope this measured up to all you hoped it would be. I love writing these boys even if they're a little more messy and rough than my other versions. I'm not sure if I'll do more or go straight back to the other but maybe if y'all like it I'll do another. Let me know 🚬🖤

[applesontheground]

headcanons about leslie vernon 🍎

you can thank @bisexual-horror-fan for asking me one day, “hey, riri. what are your general headcanons on this guy?” and me just going off for a good minute or so. these are polished from my rambled version, of course, but her and i love him very much and i wanted to share now that i’ve thought about it for a hot second!

he’s a speed reader. very good at skimming long blocks of text and getting the general idea and themes out of it, which makes him a human SparkNotes! that being said, he makes it a personal mission to slow down so that he doesn’t miss specific details in his favorite stories. he’s two-toned in that way, too excited to stop most the time but aware honing his focus is more than worth it and just needs to make an active effort to do it sometimes. incoming x reader idea: imagine going slower by asking you to read aloud to him one night until one of you falls asleep ...  :’)

in a teaching situation, he’s very patient and not quick to belittle or shun someone if they ask a lot of questions. well, except when it’s something that he feels is obvious or is in regards to his life’s work (i.e. slashin’). you try to step up to him unprepared when he’s explaining his latest rendezvous as the bastard son, interrupt him or stop him too much and prepare for a whole lot of this

again, he never says anything, but...let the man cook ffs.

seeing his emotional availability in canon, i bet he has a box somewhere of cards written to him, ticket stubs from outings he really enjoyed, a couple photo albums (one for his friends, one for his favorite victims). he’s sentimental about the handmade stuff, especially when they were made specifically with him in mind.

a fiend for a little friendship bracelet action is that even a question?

wants to learn guitar. never manages it, one of those things he just never got his mind or his fingers around despite being super dexterous. thinks people who are instrumentally inclined are the cat’s pajamas. will fall in love if you play him...i’m gonna say some 311, goo goo dolls, or jack johnson :’), like this. hhh sorry had to rub my guitarist hands on him for a moment-

oh man, his music taste. not quite divorced dad rock, but the stoner dad from the 2000s rock. matchbox twenty, maybe some slightly stoopid... hnnng this is more of a personal thing but he just looks like the guy that would in my eyes.

waffles > pancakes. tea > coffee. thinks sleeping with socks on is fucked up. these all just feel like a him sort of opinions to have and i don’t have much basis underneath that. i seem to have quite a few of those for him.

⚠️ NSFW Headcanons⚠️

[urban-swan]

You’ve got Smoker Jekyll, and now here is his stoner alter ego Hyde!

He’s an evil lil bastard who will try and get his hands on booze and drugs and anything he can get, using Jekyll’s wealth of course to do so.

I love him <3