#he's a ninja? and a pirate? fuck yeah

[writing-hat]

man I'm rewatching skybound (help) to focus on the misfortune crew so here's a kinda long ramble about Flintlocke and Nadakhan friendship below

the way Flintlocke's voice shakes when he says to Nadakhan he's doing a mutiny. when he says "stay right there"

I know it's most likely from fear, but I wouldn't be surprised if this was out of a broken heart too like- it's his captain. one he has most likely spent years at sea with. the one he'd trust with his life, and must've done so. most likely his best friend. AUGH

And how Nadakhan reacts to it, too! he gets angry, he doesn't believe what he's hearing! how dare they not trust him? (gee I wonder why)How is Flintlocke daring him to change things around?

Can you imagine watching someone you care about diving into some kind of infinite madness, and you not able to do shit about it? And it's not like Flintlocke could help much. Since yknow Nadakhan just lost all his people in a single moment after spending 300 years inside a teapot, and after losing the one he loves, too. And he sees something is wrong the moment he sees Nya. He knows Nadakhan too well, and I take it he's used to the captain sharing plans with them if he's already hella suspicious when Nadakhan doesn't tell him what he has in mind when coming back from Djinjago

And he's not the only one; like the whole 'close' crew (as I like to call them) notices how their captain is kinda getting distant? and losing it

But like what are you supposed to do about that? especially since they're pirates, and the captain has to be kind of scary if he still wants to handle psychopaths under an iron grip of some sort

And they were ready to trust him. To the end, I guess.

fuck! Nadakhan just ruined all that was left to him during skybound, didn't he? what a fucking idiot.

And Jay was this close to do the same with his own friends huh (NOT TO THAT EXTENT GUYS COME ON-)

I just love to think of parallels between Jay and Nadakhan. Cole and Flintlocke. The obvious (? I'm not really sure about this one) but awfully made Delara Nya one (not saying I made a good one in my fic either but eh)

But they're pirates. They're not good people, and Nadakhan is a fucking bitch. You have on one side how Arrakore dealt with the loss, and on the other, Nadakhan's, who was probably so used to being a prince and stuff he just- ugh.

But that doesn't mean they don't have emotions, which I'm trying to write about

also I'm noting Clancee probably noted Nya resembling Delara when he gave Nadakhan the newspaper. But he didn't say anything. Hm. I'm keeping that in mind.

anyway. back to writing I goooo

[evilminji]

*Distant sound of frantic running growing closer*

*I throw open the door with manic eyes, breathing heavily*

Hatsume Mei! The Fenton's! Oh DEAR LORD. The Couple, the Doctors Fenton... would think she's A Lovely Young Lady ™! Normal even! Charming! I bet the Hatsume Adults would find to be a Charming And Upstanding Young Lad!

JAPAN ISNT READY.

If the GIW got out of hand? And Amity, as a town? Said "fuck ya'll we taken our ball and going home"? All they'd NEED to do? Is shut down the portal, get the skilled portal makers stationed at side A of town to open it up, rip the whole thing up, have the mover ghosts push it IN, aaaaaand? Everyone in? Good! We close it from the inside!

Fuck those guys.

Okay, so, I'm Jerry. You're real estate officer, we got some GREAT options for you this season! How do feel about ninjas? No? Pirates? Not feeling it? Superheroes? Seeing some interest! We got a- *continues their pitch as Amity is moved*

Amity get phased into the Japanese countryside.

What do you MEAN "there wasn't a town here?" Of course there way! We have roads and everything! Why are we all Americans? What're you a cop? Mind your business, spandex man.

.....yeah, they're gonna call this one a "Quirk accident".

Pay your taxes, folks, and we promise not to care!

Fenton's? Back in business, baby! Well, never STOPPED being in business. But details! They're now a "support company"! And yes! The quotation marks ARE on all their documents AND signs! They think it's stupid!

But you want lazers?

Oh ho hoooo~ DO WE HAVE LAZERS!!!

Maddie n Jack start hitting the scene. Conventions. Conferences. Fancy parties. Weirdly? They "unnerve" people. Cowards.

Until? Gasp? They meet just the LOVELIEST couple! Who are so FUN! Who ALSO has a daughter? Danny's age no less! Oh she is just PRECIOUS? Is that her first bomb? Aaaaaw~♡.

Danny feels a disturbance in the force.

Like... like his folks are... are about to try and introduce him to a Nice Young Girl again. The last time this happened was at mom's fighting competitions. She ended up being some sort of assassin royalty. Thankfully, she accepted he could commit to a life of murder, since he wanted to be an astronaut, but it was like this whole THING and- you know what? Not important!

Where are his parents!?

(Planning his wedding! Gotta incorporate BOTH the family's completely batshit Family Traditions!)

[maoxyi]

To let go (part 10)

-

“…does that make me less part of the crew…”

…

“…no…”

…

“…we are a SUPER family…”

No. Luffy thinks as he sees a flash of… memories? Thoughts? He isn’t sure. There’s different colours and feelings swirling in his mind but a hand on his head immediately snaps him out of it. No. Luffy thinks. Not yet.

‘Longer...’ He lets out a sigh as he realises he’s beginning to resign himself to this place. This place that isn’t his own. ‘Let me stay a little longer…’

“You alright, Lu?” Sabo says, eyes searching his brother for any pain.

“I’m fine! Just got a little headache is all.”

“Try not to think too hard.” Ace snorts. “We don’t want you getting sick.”

“Shut up!” He reaches to hit him but Ace moves away. He sticks his tongue out at him.

“Did we… Did we stress you out?” Sabo asks him, putting his hand in a three claw position and grabs Ace's face to squeeze it. Ace starts flailing and swearing up and down as the two brothers ignore him.

“No, no… I was just surprised! I don’t… I didn’t think you’d ever say that. Well, I don’t really care why or anything, it just it shocked me!” He laughs as he says it. Luffy doesn’t care. He couldn’t care less.

“I bet it did. We wanted to lead our own lives when we were kids but… right now I want to stay close to you. To both of you. At least for a while. I… what we went through and that close call, I never want to go through that again. I want to stay with you guys for a while. I want to be with my brothers. I asked Dragon if, just for a little while, I can stay with you. Any assignments and missions that come from islands we visit I can do them while we’re there. Though I’m sure you’d end up helping one way or another.” Sabo smiled happily, letting go of Ace who took a deep breath and glared at him.

“Woah really! That would be so awesome!” Luffy glowed at the thought. “It would be so much fun!”

“Leave it to you to think that these missions I'm sent on are so much fun. These missions are dangerous and serious.”

“Yeah but it's also fun. Like ninja missions and stuff!” Luffy says and stands up trying to sneak around his brothers. He grabs his wrist with his pointer finger and middle finger pointing upwards with both hands as a (seemingly) ninja symbol. Sabo snickers at him as Ace reaches for his leg and makes Luffy fall on his face. He snorts when Luffy turns around, red faced and pouts at him. He really does feel like they’re kids again. Deep, deep down he wishes they were once more.

“I still want to be a pirate. Though now that the Whitebeard pirates have disbanded, I have to figure out what next. I know I can reform my crew and continue from there but… when I heard what Sabo was going to do I wanted to join in. I told Deuce what my plan was and what I wanted to do first so he knew. He told me he’d wait however long is necessary because he understands. Of course he would. I wouldn’t expect anything less. I… I want to spend time with my brothers too…” Ace looks away from them, his cheeks dusted in red from embarrassment. Luffy smiles. He’s glad his brothers want to stay with him.

“And I didn’t want Sabo to beat me so.”

Ah. That checks out too.

“Yeah sure. Keep telling yourself that.”

“I’m the better brother Sabo, it's just true.”

“Get real, Ace. I’ve always been nicer to Luffy.”

“How about fuck you Sabo.”

“You can’t even think of anything to defend yourself Ace.”

“He has a point.”

“Shut up Luffy.”

And he laughs at Sabo and Ace as they argue back and forth. He laughs as they end up forehead to forehead, spilling empty threat after empty threat. He’s missed this. He’s missed it so much. He has to go. He knows that. He knows he has to but… he sits there, watching his brothers alive and right in front of him, his crew in his ship… his family. He doesn’t want to leave. He… doesn’t want to. Is he selfish for this? He has always been selfish. Always. With what he makes his crew go through. What he’s always done in his life. He really wants to stay.

“Of course you guys can join! You’re my brothers!” He beams and they stop their fighting.

“We weren’t really asking. We were gonna join anyway.” They joke of course. And Luffy looks up. He stares at the real sky. The feeling of the breeze. The sight of Hancock and the other Amazon Lily women coming to them with food. He takes a glance at his crew who is alerted by Sanji's high pitched squeals and they make their way. He notices, for the first time, the bandages. He notices how he does feel pain. How he’s been feeling a lot. Half the things he’s felt were good. He feels whole again and he wants to stay. He wants… he wants…

“I want to stay.” His brothers look at him. He lowers his head for a moment before looking up. He’s desperate to stay here. “Can I stay here with you? Please?” His brothers look at him and then to each other.

“Of course you’re staying with us.” Ace says to him.

“Where else would you even go?” Sabo adds in confusion. Luffy smiles at that. He’s right.

Where else would he rather be than here.

[neveralarch]

hello! have you been watching me n dez's output rapidly explode with gai and kakashi fic? have you been wondering who the hell this man with the bowlcut is and why we have suddenly succumbed to the allure of white-haired anime man? did you somehow escape from the teen-years vortex of naruto because you had good taste or just weren't the right age? i'm here for you. @deadtrilobitesociety asked about a gai primer and i kinda went off the deep end by crowd-sourcing (asking dez) an amazing list of naruto to watch and then putting it under neat little headers for your enjoyment.

how do i watch this naruto stuff?

there's 500 million episodes of the anime so i'm gonna give you specific recs. confusingly, there's original naruto, naruto shippuden (picks up after a timeskip), and boruto, which we don't talk about. you can find a lot of it on netflix, tubi, and crunchyroll, depending on your country. it's an older anime, so you'll also have a lot of success on the pirating sites. for one of the below suggestions, i specify that you should go to naruto kai, a fan project which basically edits out all of the extra nonsense stuff that sometimes makes the show boring to watch. kai is soooo much snappier and really makes the old show i remember more enjoyable, so if you're interested in just actually watching naruto i would start there. google it and you'll find a reddit post with links (or message me and i'll link you)

i was a manga person as a kid but i'm more into watching cartoons now and also a lot of the gai backstory is mostly in the anime filler. read the manga if you care more about this naruto kid haha.

also - blanket warning for naruto being full of people dying, usually in battle but also by suicide and often in very bloody ways. this isn't an adult horror anime - it's for kids and teens - but gai and kakashi's backstories are essentially about being a child soldier in the middle of a war that decimated multiple generations. it's bleak! if you need specific warnings or want to know about a specific arc or episode, please reach out.

okay, noted. i want to know about gai!

gai....

maito gai/might guy is an elite-level ninja who specializes in physical combat. he's modeled on bruce lee! he's got a sick bowlcut and a formfitting green jumpsuit! he mentors a group of young ninja including a kid who looks exactly like him. and his greatest rival and man of destiny is hatake kakashi :)

to get his backstory in one episode, watch episode 419 of naruto shippuden

to learn about his bond with his student rock lee, watch episode 100 of original naruto

i want to know about kakashi!

oh yeah he's also cool

hatake kakashi is probably the greatest ninja of his generation. he's also a depressed burnout who's perpetually late and reads erotica all the time in public. all of his friends are dead except for gai and also a bunch of other people that he sometimes reluctantly acknowledges are also his friends. technically he's the mentor of the main characters in naruto, but really you get the sense that he's mostly focused on stopping them from dying or killing each other and any actual learning is incidental. he has a lot of dogs!

to get his backstory, watch episodes 119 and 120 of naruto shippuden

to see more about how he burned out and got involved with teaching mostly against his will, watch the arc starting with episode 344 of naruto shippuden. 344-348 are mostly about kakashi's childhood friend obito, and then 349-361 show in detail how all of kakashi's friends die and everything is terrible forever.

shippuden 360 has the most gai content, if you're just looking for that. also that's where things start looking up for kakashi haha

i want to know about this fucked up world they live in!

gai and kakashi live in konoha, which is a secret ninja village in the land of fire. during the wars between the different lands, it's essentially the home base of the army, but for most of the series they're technically in peace time so instead they're doing protection missions, assassinations, and other ninja stuff. you definitely shouldn't be worried about how kids start on this career when they're six or seven!

this doesn't have any gai in it, but you should watch the Zabuza/bridge builder arc if you want more of the general naruto experience. this is definitely the one i remember best from reading as a kid, and it comes early on in the series so there's a lot of scene setting. might also make you cry if you're a wuss like me but it's worth it.

zabuza/bridge builder arc starts at minute 11 of Naruto Kai episode 2. dez says def don't try to watch this one in the original anime cut because it's badly paced but it's GOOD in kai

i just want. shenanigans. please give me the gai and kakashi shenanigans.

yes please they're SO silly with each other ;-;

watch naruto shippuden episode 18 for a sense of the extreme differences between gai and kakashi's teams lmao

watch episode 219 of naruto shippuden, where kakashi is angsting about whether to step up as konoha's leader so gai challenges him to a race that the animators so clearly had a blast making. also they touch butts.

watch episode 241 of naruto shippuden, where gai accidentally send an SOS to kakashi and kakashi drops everything to rescue him and then gets accused of being an imposter or possibly a mirage instead

okay but actually i want the sick fight animations

gaara vs rock lee is a classic and has some GOOD gai moments. it's episodes 48 and 49 of original naruto

kakashi vs obito is INTENSE especially if you've seen the kakashi backstory. watch naruto shippuden 375, sorry about the sasuke nonsense at the start. i didn't talk about sasuke at all because we don't care about him

gai reaching his ultimate form is one of the coolest things in the series imo. starts at the end of shippuden 417 and continues through 418-421 (crossing through the Gai backstory in 419)

nev you and dez have written almost two HUNDRED and fifty THOUSAND words of naruto fanfiction in the last twelve months. where on earth should i start

look, i know. i know. here's like… four fics. fourish. all of these are on ao3, under neveralarch or desdemonakaylose, sorry that tumblr hates links

my fic Stand Me Up at the Gates of Hell was my first and probably greatest take at rival competitive sex nonsense. (explicit fic)

our series A Man Like You looks at what kakashi and gai would look like if they'd figured out their relationship drama before becoming senior ninja mentors. i especially recommend dez's fic Happy, Despite it All for some truly epic ship moments - if you want to skip the explicit fics in the series, that one is pg and can stand on its own.

Red Sun, Autumn Chill (by me n dez) is an au where kakashi and gai are from different ninja villages and end up in an arranged marriage for peace. since it's an au, we spend a lot of time on our fun new backstory and also all of kakashi's problems. (explicit fic)

Lungs Overflowing With Funeral Flowers (by dez) is THE hanahaki fic and really digs into how kakashi thinks about gai early in the naruto series. it's so beautifully written also, i'm obsessed with it

okay!! that's the information i have for you!!! let me know if you have questions and thanks for reading please join us in hell

[weepingtalecowboy]

The chaos that would happen

Fanfic prompt : DR Jay seems to be very focused on survival and fighting for survival

Like he doesn’t even entertain the women's claim of knowing him because he fully believes and supports his master because Ras got him out of the administration (even if we yet don’t know exactly how lol)

But like the sheer amount of escalation that would happen if DR Jay went back to skybound because like he is dead set on trusting nobody but ras

And just woke up in a random cell on a random flying boat and now those pirate looking weirdos want him to do something related to some weird wish or something

yeah not gonna happen

He would kill somebody in scrap and tap if he could

Because there ain’t no Ras telling him to chill out like during the source tournament

Nadakhan would be so confused like …

Did he accidentally broke the blue guy completely and who the fuck is lord Ras

And why does the other not give a damn anymore what happens to his “girlfriend”

But like also if it was from the ninjas perspective then Jay would seem like nadakhan drove him insane and Nya was already feeling guilty for Jay getting taken by nadakhan in her place and now he doesn’t recognize nor care for them

If Cole was already infiltrating the pirate crew just to see his best friend who he unfortunately is on bad terms with kill somebody in scrap and tap

And then Jay tries to kill him when he tries to get him out because he considers him a threat and when Cole eventually gets him out by force

Maybe changing the outcome of the everyone gets caught ending up in the sword because he wasn’t making wishes but rather trying to escape with Jay who is fighting him on every step of the way and making shit hard

While screaming about some weird lord Ras guy

And Jay just starts fighting Nya on sight because he’s is still upset at her for losing because their match wasn’t even finished because nobody died and she just has no clue what to do now but feeling guilty because it’s her fault he is like that now

Yeah everyone has a very bad time and Wu isn’t even there anymore to figure out how Jay knows lord Ras

[grigori77]

Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 111

Matt; "Melting internally and outide ..." Okay then ...

Oh my gods what a perfect start to the bit ... you can't just bluff this Sam, you have to open it first to continue ... a threat of nina assassination violence implied with failure? Oh my ... that's great. I love it ... HOLY FUCK MATT IS NOW DYING OF MYSTERIOUS FAST-ACTING NINJA POISON!!! Wow ... Marisha too? BECAUSE TRAVIS USED HER AS A MEATSHIELD?!!! You goit ... and Robbie gets it by refusal ... wow ... and now EVERYBODY' DEAD BUT SAM ... I love this one so much ... oh, SAM was the ninja? You prick ... XD

Yeah, I know it was about the new Assassin's Creed game, but given I just watched The Shadow Strays on Netflix my irony is tripped in a different way ... O.o o.O

15? Oh my ... did Marisha make a backhanded confirmation they're all gonna be playing BOTH of their characters each, except for Robbie? Are we REALLY about to get a WHOLE SESSION of Bells Hells AND the Mighty Nein just vibing? I'm so ridiculously excited ...

OH GOD AND HERE WE GO ... PLAY THE SONG!!! IT'S THURSDAY NIGHT!!! ON A MONDAY!!!

SPRINKLE!!! Yay! And Pate! Oh my gods how's THIS meeting gonna go? And now the weasel's in the house on Laudna's back ... ye gods ... he continues to suffer, then ... XD

Yes, OF COURSE Beau remembers THEM ... and Marisha has ENTIRELY forgotten about the live game at WEMBLEY!!! Yup ... nice going, boos lady! LOL

True, true, Jester and Dorian ARE both blue ... "space pirates"? Oh yeah, OF COURSE Jester TOTALLY loves THAT idea ...

What the fuck are you saying, Samuel? Veth is wearing A FUCKING CATSUIT right now? XD An open relationship, Veth, REALLY?!!! So very convincing ... seriously DO NOT shag the minotaur ...

They WERE very stern with him, yes ... for all of FIVE MINUTES ... oh my sweet fuck is Chetney gonna try and shag Veth now? Is THAT where their minds are going right now?

Caduceus IMMEDIATELY marking Imogen and Orym as theonly two of BH with the working braincells ... I love that ... XD

Honestly, right now it looks like Matt's LITERALLY just watching a game of tennis, he's nothing but a pure spectator right now and having SO MUCH FUN as a result because he just UNLEASHED THIS on all of us ...

YASHA!!! Watch Ashley spent the next HOUR trying to get the hang of THAT FUCKING ACCENT again ... LOL ... The couples ... oh the couples ... Marisha's getting SO CONFUSED about the multiple ships she's involved in right now ...

Braius likes Jester? Is that ... oh ... oh no ... no, he RECOGNISES her from somewhere? Oh shit ... how is he gonna react to THAT revelation? O.O

Fearne is fawning over how built Beau and Yasha both are ... :3

Oh shit ... Jester and Veth are ADMITTING that they did the thing at the Temple of the Platinum Dragon and Fjord is trying SO HARD to kep them from just digging deeper holes for themselves ... oh wow she's hugging him ... hmmmmm ... and now trying to sell him on the Traveller ... yeah ... here we go ... as if that boy wasn;t ALREADY playing half a dozen different sides all at once ... O.O

Braius: "You ruined my life!" Oh wow ... are Braius and Yasha about to fuck each other up?

Jester is trying to cast CHARM PERSON on Braius ... wow ... yup, he just CRITTED his save ... and now he's MAD about that shit ... wow ...

Caleb and Jester are both FASCINATED by Ashton ... yeah ... oh, the Dirt Wizard will just GEEK OUT over the Dunamantic DOME in that rocky skull ... Fortune's Favour? Oh here we go ... Ashton backstory recap! Yay!

Yeah, that's right, these guys are Essek's peeps! XD

Comparing notes on the fight ahead, then ... yeah, safe to say the MIghty Nein need a crash course in what they're about to face ... and now comparing PSYCHIC notes too ... XD

Oh yeah, I forgot that Veth HATES the water ... LOL

Beau taking exception to Yasha considering herself SIMPLE-MINDED is so adorable ... :3

Marisha needs to get a handle on who she's playing when ... XD ... oh wait ... yeah, the fan is kind of cheating ...

Matt; "This is my favourite episode already. I haven't had to do ANYTHING yet."

Here we go ... the flirting begins ... she really is WEAK for minotaurs ... yup ... it is indeed beginning ... LOL

Imogen's not attuned to the Circlet? Oh boy ... she's got WAY TOO MUCH blasting her in the head right now ... wow ... yeah, Jester's mind-music will be SO LOUD ... O.O

Laudna's weird mementos ... ye gods ...

Insight check on whether or not the Mighty Nein are REALLY sneaky ... hmmmmm ... I mean they CAN BE ... yeah ... ummmmmm ... O.o

WOW ... nice Keyfish reference that has NO ACTUAL RELEVENCE in this situation, Caleb ... LOL

Laudna's turning Sprinkle into a puppet ... oh gods ... and Jester's just LETTING HER torment her weasel ... which is par for the course ...

Beau and Ashton both acknowledging that they're equally grumpy is cute ... meanwhile Caleb's grumpy too ... XD

Jester's trying to make up for ruining Braius' life ... hmmmm ... yeah, I mean SHE WAS going through a kind of crisis of faith ... oh ... are they both about to finallys BOND about being mutually artistic? Oh my ... a naked painting of Fjord ... oh, and Braius is very much PAYING ATTENTION to certain details, as he would ... XD ... HIS FIANCEE?!!! This is news ... O.O ... Suzy Greene? Jester's volunteerring to SEND HER A MESAGE?!!! Of course she is ... hmmmm ... how well is THIS gonna go? How likely is it she;s just going to make this poor girl think she's having a psychotic break?

Jester: "What is a guartertaur?" Yeah, indeed, I'm curious too. O.O ... she does sound pretty cute, yeah ... wow ... how many spell-slots is Jester about to burn to tell her ALL OF THAT?!!!

The first thing she calls him is "a shell of a man" ... LOL ... yeah, this is going JUST how I thought it would ... Ashton: "I love a drunk text, this is so good." Oh gods yes ... Jester really does SUCK at Persuasion ... XD ... oh man ... is this not working? Oh ... now she's just trying to let him down easy ... hmmmm ... yeah, he is NOT convinced ... but she BEAT HIM on an Insight check? Holy shit ...

Saint Jester the Pirate ... oh boy ...

Oh, are they going to make this a FRIENDLY match, then? That could be fun ... let Braius and Yasha just have a little sparring match instead ...

Ah yes ... Jester and her pastries ... which leads to reminiscence about FCG ... awwwwww ... man, not now, please ... everything was getting so fun ...

It's just getting HARDER AND HARDER to keep track of who's who and I'm enjoying it so much every time they have to catch themselves ...

FINALLY come to a decision, then ... going to the moon first, THEN set up the Tower for them to camp out before starting to mission proper ... here we go ...

Are they seriously considering putting Veth IN THE HOLE right now so she won't have to swim?

Just follow Orym, that's probably the best idea ...

Awwwww ... :3 ... I love Orym's sisters so much ... give them ALL the hugs, please!

That is some seriously cool Prince of Egypt shit right there ... O.O ... time to GO QUICK guys! Veth: "I'd rather ride HIM!" And then Yasha picks her up and puts her on Braius' shoulders ... LOL

Once again Sam derails Matt's narrative train of thought with his t-shirt nonsense ... yup ... just like old times ...

THE TUNNEL!!! YEAH!!!

It's all a bit trippy, yeah ... Dancing Lights! Yay! Meanwhile Caduceus is doing his cleric thing ... I love how they low key geek out together ... :3

So ... back on the Moon, then ...

Yeah ... giant worm tunnels are definitely A THING for both these groups ... yeah ... O.o

Dorian DOESN'T KNOW he's on the Moon yet ... and now they start fucking with him ... LOL

Roll a D20? REALLY Matthew? 8? Oh fuck ... something's coming? Of for fuck's sake ... O.O ... oh, so it's just a STORM on the surface? Okay then ...

Wait ... Caduceus has a new storm prayer? Hmmmmm ...

Imogen sends a message to Zhesh ... so it's potentially safe? Cool ... okay, then ...

Oh yeah! The Ruidian glass dancer ... sweet ...

MARISHA!!! Get your tabs in order! Two Beaus is not useful!

Yay! Sashimi! So sweet and disturbingly creepy! Awwwwww ... :3 And yeah, the glass daggers ...

Making arrangements for teleportation travel ... and now they're gettign EVEN MORE CONFUSED ... XD ... and also some rather thinly veiled insults to Chetney ... this is getting increasingly hilarious by the second ...

Ashton: "It's really nice not to be the most fucked up person in the group for once."

BOOF!!! So ... did they all make it in one piece?

Oh phew ... thank fuck that worked out ... and now they're all crammed into a really tight little space ...

Yay! Caleb's Tower! Sweet! I've missed this ... pancakes and cat smell! Awwwwww ... :3

Now he's just showing off and I love it ... XD

Everybody's floating! Yeah, totally Willy Wonka style indeed ... XD ... oh, okay ... time to explore ... and Laudna's totally being her usual creepy self Spiderclimbing all over the walls ... startling spectral cats as she goes ... LOL ... oh yeah ... I forgot she could do the creepy cat-bone dislocation thing ...

Oh, so we're taking a break? Yeah, sounds about right ...

So ... is Laudna, like ... LOST IN THE WALLS now?

YEAH!!! THE BONE HARP!!! PLAY THE BONE HARP!!! I love the idea of a Yasha and Dorian harp and piano duet ...

Chopsticks ... snort! LOL

Wait ... Laudna's found the Cat Kitchen? O.O ... surreal ... Laudna shows Sprinkle ... by pointing him around the room like a flashlight ... XD

Laudna just slurped out of a hole and splattered down in the midst of them all ... lovely ...

True ... good point, the MIghty Nein never actually HAD a bard ... hmmmmm ...

Veth is now SLOWDANCING with Braius to sexy music ... LOL ... Sam is basically playing a flirty scene with himself ... this is beyond surreally meta ... LOL

Fearne and Jester are considering turning into cats and going exploring ... :3

Hero's Feast? Yay!

Laura Bailey and her dirty mind ... even more so whenever she's being Jester ... XD

Smart move ... making sure Yasha can't be turned against them for 24 hours ... shame they didn't have THAT capability once upon a time ...

Caleb and Orym personal time? Interesting ... oh ... is the Dirt Wizard going to offer the Wee Man up some advice? And yes, it definitely is very sound advice ...

Beau is NOT HAVING IT with Laudna ... LOL

Oh my ... is Ashton really asking Yasha for flirting advice from Yasha? Hmmmmm ... yeah, I mean it;s true, the big girl has ZERO game ... Beau pretty much just landed Yasha BY ACCIDENT, really ... yeah ...Jester TOTALLY gets in on that ... then again she is a MUCH BETTER choice to offer him advice ... yeah, Fearne DOES have really nice big boobs ...

Tusk Love! Oh boy ... seriously, how is Ashton going to take to the ultimate Exandrian romance novel? Oh ... just stuff his face in her boobs? Yeah ... yeah, that would definitely be a fun experience ... O.O

Here we go ... time for funky cat exploration games ... these two are definitely TROUBLE together ... I'm loving it ...

OF COURSE they go into the laboratory and just KNOCK SHIT OFF the worktops ... XD

A TIGER?!!! Ye gods, Caleb ... O.O

Beau and Fjord are currently MASSIVELY underestimating the Hells ... XD ... ah, the Taste of Tal'Dorei ... oh yeah ... now they're just FULL-ON INSULTING them ... LOL

Wait ... is Caleb A FAN of C-Pop creations? O.O ... holy fuck HE IS!!! And he has some of his pieces? Crazy shit ... wow ... so now they're bonding ... OF COURSE they are ... nothing appeals to the Old Man like flattery ... "Nein Hells"? Awwwwwww ... that's really sweet, actually ...oh ... "Nein HELLZ" ... that's even better, actually ...

Orym: "Chetney has spent many years bringing joy to the children of Exandria." Ashton: "And if he dies tonight he can bring much joy to the cats as they start feasting on his corpse."

CALEB HAS ONE OF THE WOODEN EGGS!!! O.O

OF COURSE Fearne tries to steal the egg ... while Caleb's holding onto it with Telekinesis ... oh boy ... she does SUCH A BAD JOB of that, I swear ...

Yeah ... I really don't see Caduceus being AT ALL responsive to any flirtation from Braius ... he's always struck me as being unapologetically ACE, if I'm honest ...

So Braius REALLY IS starting to return to the true path of the Platinum Dragon, eh? That's quite sweet, really ...

I love that so much ... Braius admits to having been drawn to Asmodeus and Caduceus simply answers: "I've heard worse."

Beau: "All right, fuckers. We got a big day tomorrow." Braius: "Dorian, you can stop playing now." Dorian: "I'm sorry, I was startled by the profanity."

Laim: "Yeah, we saw you from over in Campaign 2 and really liked your vibe." XD

Fearne's still pouting about not being able to start her collection of Chetney's eggs ... ALL FIVE?!!! Ashton: "All right, Thanos."

A future Bells Hells One-Shot? The Quest for Chetney's Eggs ... yeah, I could get behind that ... XD

So they're taking a rain check on that Braius/Yasha fight, then ... there's always tomorrow ...

"BABE!!! SEX!!!" Oh boy ... LOL

A Moon thing? Oh ... yeah, well as long as Laudna CAN come ... okay ... so now it's Imogen, Laudna and Caleb just floating around in endless empty space ... oh, LITERAL space, then ... cool ... oh weird ... that's some bizarre Quantum Realm shit ...

Ah yes ... or ja, if you will ... OF COURSE Caleb's been incommunication with the Voice of the Tempest, and indeed about Imogen's mum ... yup, sound advice right there ...

I find it very amusing that IMOGEN considers Caleb to be "very powerful" ... of course Caleb can see plain as day just how powerful SHE IS ...

Ooooh ... a gift from Caleb? Sweet ... a small metallic pyramid ... an Intuit Charge? Intriguing ... "It goes BOOM." Ja, of course it does. Not really expecting anything else from the Dirt Wizard who likes to set shit on fire ... XD

A celebratory party at Taste of Tal'Drei if they succeed? I could get onboard with that ...

Oh yeah! The Raven Mask! Get Identifying, Fearne ... just a lot of geeking out and nobody actually SAYING what it does ... XD ... that's kinda mean in a really funny way ...

That's an INSANELY high roll ... yeah, Braius just painted a bona fide MASTERPIECE ...

Fuck ... did Fjord just ANNIHILATE Pate with an Eldritch Blast? O.O

Oh my gods ... Laudna is continuing to torture Sprinkle without intending to ...

Chetney's whittling away ... stark naked ... and he lives through the night ... again ...

Dorian's calling on Orym just before bed? Oh shit ... OH SHIT IS THIS FINALLY IT?!!! Please please please please please let this be it ... Orym: "I have feelings for you ... maybe stince the day I met you." OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! The minds of EVERY FUCKING DORYM SHIPPER just EXPLODED!!! O.O ... and OF COURSE Dorian is receptive ... and so incredible sweet too ... oh my gods these two are being SO IMPOSSIBLY SWEET ... :3

Look at Matt's face ... oh my god he's just ENTHRALLED ... he's EVERY FUCKING ONE OF US right now!

THEY FALL ASLEEP IN EACH OTHERS' ARMS!!! OH MY GODS THIS IS SO FUCKING ADORABLE!!! I'M SO IMPOSSIBLY HAPPY!!! IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING!!!

Bedtime for everybody ... and YES MATT MERCER YOU ARE SO FUCKING RIGHT that is a PERFECT PLACE to call it a night! That was THREE AND A HALF HOURS of perfect geekgasmic AWESOMENESS ...

[scalproie]

i cannot tell what is going on over there in mortal kombat. is your ship incest now? is this a dread pirate rogers situation? no idea!

buddy you really think I would be enthusiastic over fucking incest? If anything Im celebrating that its not. Its more a inter-timeline dread pirate rogers situation yeah

ok so for the actual explanation, three names you need to know: hanzo hasashi, bi-han and kuai liang.

For 30 real life years aka mortal kombat's entire runtime, hanzo hasashi has been scorpion: yellow ninja with fire powers, his whole deal was that he has been killed and came back with the only goal to take his revenge (either for himself or for his family that was also killed, it depends)

He was killed by bi-han aka sub zero, blue chinese assassin with ice powers. BUT bi-han is only sub zero in a particular instance: in the first tournament of mortal kombat aka always the first game, where he gets killed by scorpion. He comes back in following games as a literal shadow of his former self, and without ice powers. he never stays sub zero for long.

enters kuai liang, bi-han's younger brother who's also a cryomancer, who took the mantle of sub zero in the second game and has stayed the most consistent sub zero for the entirety of mortal kombat.

Theres been two timelines for mortal kombat, the og one going from mk1 to mk: armageddon (mk7), and the second one going from mk9 to mk11. Its a bit more complicated than that but im sparing you the details.

the og timeline has its moments (like scorpion deciding to protect the new sub zero to atone for killing his brother, even going so far as to switch sides and kill the big bad in his mk3 ending bc sub zero was on the opposite team), and the second timeline has even more (the mk9 sub zero ending and every single one of their shared scenes from mkx (mk10) to mk11) that makes the two enjoyable as an item. Its a fairly popular relationship in the fandom and their whole deal also happen to be my cup of tea idk what to tell you there. When people say "subscorp" it means kuai liang/hanzo as they were both the definitive sub zero/scorpion.

anyway we are at the dawn of a new timeline in mk12. and even tho its not the first mortal kombat soft reboot, as they already did that in mk9, this one is WHOLLY shaking things up. Mk9 was new but it kept for the most part the og backstories, dynamics and storybeats of the og timeline, with only some twists there and there to keep it fresh.

Mk12 drops the bombshell among other things that this time around, scorpion and sub zero are brothers, and if you think they mean "brother-in-arms" NO ed boon is very adamant to let everyone know every interview that they're blood brothers now, they have the same father and everything, and that their shared storyline is no longer a story of revenge, but a brotherly conflict of ideologies. Confusing and dark times (this was mere months ago).

Later the sub zero gets revealed to be bi-han, and now this begged the question: who is scorpion? He is dressed in yellow, have fire powers, and a literal scorpion tattoo. For many people it meant it was hanzo: he's been scorpion for 30 years, why would it change now (even tho this raised a lot of question like why is he now part of his enemy clan, why would he still be japanese and has a japanese name if his now brother and father are chinese, and so on). For others, the fact that this scorpion had: 1) kuai liang's brother, 2) kuai liang's dynamic with said brother, 3) kuai liang's face (as his face model was really similar to his mk11 one), 4) kuai liang's position in his clan, and in a later trailer revealed to also have 5) kuai liang's best friend, and 6) kuai liang's dynamic with said best friend, meant that uuuuuuh, maybe it was kuai liang. Even tho the guy named "Quick Freeze" in chinese had now fire powers.

Anyway this has been making me insane, if it was hanzo it had LITERALLY NOTHING in common with hanzo but the yellow outfit and fire powers, if it was kuai liang it was such a wild departure from kuai liang as we know him that this might as well be another guy completely. This guy is supposed to be the definitive sub zero but he cant fit that role anymore, he has fire powers.

Flash forward to last night, back on friday they revealed three mk trailers at comic con, and to keep the promo train rolling, they were invited by ign for an interview on saturday, and among the people there was yuri lowenthal aka smoke's new voice actor (let me remind you that smoke is and has been kuai liang/sub zero's best friend for both timelines). One of the dev was talking about smoke's role in mk12, and says this:

"We are playing up the relationship he had with Kuai Liang- uuuh Scorpion. Um. and-"

Its an accidental slip up so this is still to take with a grain of salt until we get actual footage confirmation that kuai liang is scorpion in mk12, but also come on, you cant fuck up that badly with context, kuai liang is scorpion in mk12.

And considering how HARD theyve been marketing it as "scorpion and sub zero are brothers now!" and not "one of the sub zero brothers is scorpion now!" Im guessing this was supposed to be a big reveal for later. Oh well.

Anyway now we know who sub zero is (bi-han), we know who has the mantle of scorpion this time around (kuai liang), and now the only person MIA is hanzo. Many people, me included, hope that he's narratively retired chilling somewhere and is enjoying life with his alive family for once, dude's had a hard life.

and to answer your question, no, its not incest now because hanzo is still unrelated to the sub zero brothers (tho one of them is scorpion now), and "subscorp" remains safe bc its really, again, more about kuai liang and hanzo than the ship of "scorpion" and "sub zero" regardless of who they might be.

[aviculor]

If Kin'emon and Kanjuro were able to scale Zunesha's leg with the others and enter Zou, most of if not the entire arc wouldn't have happened. But then Kanjuro would have been able to contact Orochi a lot sooner.

Jack blames his subordinates for the minks surviving, as if he didn't race out of Zou the instant he heard Doflamingo got defeated. Like he could have actually done something about that. "Yeah, I can totally take on a fleet of Marines led by Sengoku and Fujitora with just one ship during a storm". No shit he failed to break Doflamingo free. And in doing this, he fumbled killing Inuarashi and Nekomamushi who eventually turned out to be two of the Akazaya Nine. He had them crucified, mutilated, and inhaling poisonous gas, but they survived because he didn't finish the job and they were able to get help in time. Plus, since Raizo was chained up in a secret cave, he would have died if the minks were wiped out and couldn't bring him food and water. Well, the Strawhats probably would have found him before then, but what I'm trying to say is that Jack shit the bed big time.

So here Jack is back at Zou for round 2, and what is his plan? "Kill the elephant". The elephant so large it reaches up to the clouds and supports an entire civilization on its back. The elephant you can't even sail close to because the movement of its legs creates such turbulent waves. The elephant that's been alive for a thousand years. The elephant he already detonated a bioweapon on the back of without it even noticing. That elephant. As if it would be that fucking easy. This is why Jack was put on time-out when he returned to base. Literally every time he had an idea, it was a catastrophic blunder.

If he didn't abandon his post and just did what he was supposed to, he would have prevented the Ninja-Pirate-Mink-Samurai Alliance from ever forming. The entire Wano arc would have unraveled because of that. The repercussions are immeasurable. Luffy defeated Kaidou because Jack is an idiot. Luffy awakened his devil fruit and became the second coming of Joyboy because Jack is an idiot.

[iamsonormalaboutninjago]

Okay just cause it’s so so interesting to me and no one’s talked about it:

The actual bullshit level of powers the Mega weapon had: 💅✨

1. Fuckin Time powers! Garmadon had the power of the four Time Blades in his back pocket and used it to fuck with the Ninja??

2. Access to the Departed Realm?? It brought back the pirate crew of Destinys Bounty from a 400 year stay in the departed realm??

3. Yeah the gift of Life. How did Garmadon recreate the ninja in perfect form, yet make them opposites??? Like that’s a power that’s never been been seen in Ninjago since omg. The only person who has similar powers IS THE OVERLORD

4. Gift of Life Pt2. NECROMANCY???!! HOW HAS NO ONE TALKED ABOUT HOW IT CAN BRING ANIMALS BACK FROM THE DEAD TOO?? WHO PROB DONT GO TO THE DEPARTED REALM SO WHERE DOES HE EVEN GET THEM FROM HUH?!!!

Also it rebuilt the bounty without even needing a charge or to be properly smelted into the weapon??

Idk if including the Golden Masters powers makes sense, but if we do we can add: Total telekinetic control of billions of square feet of objects, instant learn Spinjitzu, plus tornado of creation!

[obxthornton]

Chapter 3

WC: 2482

When I told Ashton the worst part of my week was getting put in a project with Luke, I expected him to agree with me. Not throw a sleepover.

All 5 of us were lying in Ashton's living room, in complete awkward silence, It had been months since we had all 5 hung out together. Utter bullshit that I was over here with 3 boys and my ex, while my best friends were having their own sleepover at Kiaras. When Ashton invited me to sleep over I thought it was just going to be me and him. Maybe Michael at one point.

But here I was, arms crossed as I glared at Luke who sat on the other end of the couch, mimicking my expression.

"Guys." Michael Said, "It's getting weird."

"Shut it, Clifford," Luke said not breaking my gaze, like it was some intense staring contest.

"Brilliant idea Ash," Calum said sarcastically laying his back down on the floor.

"Gigi said they were working together!" Ashton argued.

I took my gaze away from Luke to glare at Ashton, the real criminal here, "I said we were working on a project together! Which he is no help with by the way." 

Luke scoffed, "You don't like my handwriting! How am I supposed to help if I can't write anything?"

"Maybe if you actually fucking agreed with me on something, we wouldn't have to write so much." I shot back at him.

"Oh yeah, like it's such a crime for me to disagree with you." He rolled his eyes at me causing me to kick his leg hard with my foot.

"Don't you dare roll your eyes at me, Hemmings," I said narrowing my eyes at him. He knew how much I hated when he rolled his eyes at me.

"Guys stop," Ashton said.

"Oh no you do not need to be upset with us when you put us here Irwin," I said glaring at the boy.

"Those questions are easy guys... I mean how can you not at least agree on a few of them? Go and stop? Pirates and ninjas?" Calum said sitting back up. He now seemed interested in the conversation.

"We're two totally different people," I said earning a nod from Luke. 

"How the hell did y'all date?" Michael asked making Luke scoff. "Lots of alcohol mate." This earned him another kick to the leg. "Stop that!" Luke yelled at me hitting my leg with his foot back.

"Asshole," I mumbled.

"Okay! I give up!" Ashton yelled raising his hands in surrender and standing up. "You too are too fucking childish to even respect each other."

"I never will respect Luke," I said simply said.  Luke's face softened lightly almost in regret before it went back to a glare.

"I don't respect someone who doesn't respect me." He said.

"What the hell even happened to you two?" Calum asked.

Crazy how that one question can change our whole mood. Luke chewed on his fingernails anxiously and I pulled my feet up on the couch, wrapping an arm around my knees. "Nothing," I said barely above a whisper.

"No no... I'll tell em," Luke said looking over at me. For once in a while, the look wasn't laced with a single ounce of resentment.

"You don't have to." I mumbled, "It's over and there's no point in making them think differently of you when they weren't even there." 

"Luke, what the hell did you do?" Ashton asked glaring at his friend.

I knew the second that it happened Luke regretted it. I knew that our breakup would have been more of a "break" if it wasn't for my song getting stolen. If it wasn't for the fight after I confronted him.

"You know jazzy?." Luke asked closing his eyes and resting his head on the back of the couch.

"Jazzy like Jasmine Hodge? Hottest girl in all of Australia?" Michael asked.  I wanted to roll my eyes at that comment. But somehow it made Luke's case for him better.

Luke, however, winced at the words. "Jasmine Hodge yeah."

"What does Jasmine Hodge have to do with this story?" Calum asked.

"Everything." I sighed. This earned a guilty glance from Luke.

"We started playing truth or dare." Luke said, "And I chose dare."

I honestly didn't want to hear the story anymore. I didn't want to relive that moment at all, I could tell neither did Luke.

"Kiss the prettiest girl in the room," Luke said, the words rolling over his tongue like ice cold water. He seemed to scoff at his own self as he rubbed his mouth. Silence fell over the group as the boys stared at Luke Like he was Insane. "So I kissed Her. I kissed Jasmine Hodge." 

I closed my eyes at the words.

"Dude," Calum muttered.

It wasn't even the fact that I wasn't the prettiest girl in the room. It just had to be the girl at our school that everyone wanted to have. The girl every guy would leave their girlfriend for. He was my boyfriend of 4 years And he kissed her right infront of me.

"What the fuck Luke," Ashton said ruffly.

"I don't have an excuse that I haven't said to Geo before, so I'm not going to try to save myself now," Luke said swallowing hard. "Fuck." He mumbled.

"We took a break and then a month later officially broke it off," I said.

"Is that the fight we heard?" Michael asked making me stiffin and Luke open up his eyes. Just like that, our whole demeanor changed. That fight was nothing or Luke would even consider telling the boys what it was about. Even if they heard parts of it, it was no reason to go back to that day. The fight was the real reason we broke up I think. Not Jasmine, not the song, the fight.  Sure all those things started the fight but it opened up a whole new topic that made a lasting impression on how me and Luke view eachother.

"I'm going home," I told them standing up abruptly.

"Of course, right when the fight gets mentioned you leave," Luke said huffing at me, any ounce of guilt that was left on his face was replaced with the same old Luke I knew.

"I'll see you on Monday asshole," I said walking past him to grab my bag off the floor.

"Bye Calum, Bye Michael. Fuck you, Irwin." I said walking out the front door.

"Yeah walk out like always bitch!" Luke called as the door slammed.

Walk out like always bitch

----

When I was 7 Ashton pushed me down the stairs and broke my arm. I hated him after that and told him I never wanted to be his friend again because I couldn't go swimming for a whole summer.

When I came home from the hospital in my cast there were wilted, old flowers on my porch. They looked as if they had been there for a few days or so, probably the time I had been at the hospital and surgery. I had recognized them as the ones from Ashton's flower bush in his front yard.

Ashton ended up getting grounded for destroying his mom's flower bush but ever since that day, whenever Ashton would "mess up' he would bring me flowers.

I guess that's why the front doorbell rang this morning.

I was still in my pajamas as it was only 10 in the morning. An iced Coffee in hand as I hid behind the wall not wanting for the unknown salesman to see me. The no soliciting sign in our neighborhood meant nothing to those guys.

"It's me Gi." A faint voice called from behind the door.

I sighed as Ash's voice came out behind the wall and walking to the door. I know I shouldn't be upset with him, he just wanted to hang out with all his friends on Friday. But it was hard not to blame him for all the re opened wounds. I should blame Hemmings, not Ash.

I unlocked the door and opened it seeing Ash stand there, a half dozen flowers in his hand as he kicked his shoe against my house. No longer were the flowers Ashton gave me from the yard but normally from the local store.

I smiled lightly as he turned to me holding them out.

"Come in," I said holding the door open alittle wider. He smiled largely as he walked inside the house and took off his shoes at the door.

I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a vase for the flowers and filled it up with water.

"I know you said you and Luke weren't good, but I just wanted, I Don't Know, to have my friends back," Ashton said sitting down at the kitchen table. "I should have asked you how you felt before I invited him."

I shook my head and sat the flowers to the side, "I'm sorry me and him can't get along. And I'm sorry that I took it out on you. there was no reason for me to be upset with you over wanting your friends to be friends."

Silence filled the table as we both felt guilty. Just because I couldn't stand Luke Doesn't mean I should put ash in the middle.

"You Wanna go get lunch?" He asked making me smile.

"Of course." I said standing up, "My treat."

"I'm supposed to buy you lunch, not the other way around." He said following me up to my room.

"I have band practice at 4 so gotta be back before then." Ignored his previous comment as I walked into my room and opened up my closet.

"I have it at 4 also." He said 

I grabbed some jeans and a t shirt and threw them on as Ashton lay face down on my bed. What a gentleman.

After I was dressed I walked over and pulled his head up by his hair. He sent me a smile which I returned before I dropped his head back in the pillow.

"So where are you thinking? Marcos? Snags?" I asked walking back down the stairs.

"I just want pizza," Ashton said shrugging.

"You always want pizza." Ashton and I both slipped on our shoes and walked outside to Ashton's car parked in my driveway. It was... weird seeing his car parked in my dad's spot. Not that my dad was ever home to park in it, but a car never filled the spot when He wasn't home.

"I'm thinking of that new pizza place on the corner of wintergreen." He said interrupting my thoughts, I hadn't even realized I had got in his car.

"Perfect," I said messing with the radio.

When we finally got to the restaurant I was more than starving. It was small and like Ashton said, off the corner of Wintergreen.

"Have you ever thought of, I don't know, a rebound?" Ashton asked as he sat down at a table in the far corner.

"I don't need someone to date to get over hemmings," I said rolling my eyes at Ashton. I was completely and utter over Luke and did not need a 'rebound' as Ashton called it.

"Hey I'm Liam, what can I get started for you today." 

I looked up at the waiter and smiled nervously. Liam had tattoos covering his arms in his tight black shirt. He stood there holding a pen and paper looking me up and down.

"Still don't need a rebound?" Ashton whispered to me making me stomp on his foot hard. He winced, "Just a water." 

Liam chuckled lightly and scratched it down, "and for your girlfriend?"

I laughed and shook my head, "Oh I don't have a boyfriend- I mean we aren't together. Water also please." 

He smiled and nodded at me, "Good to know. I'll have those drinks out in a second." He clicked his pen against the paper before walking back to the kitchen.

"No no, absolutely not," Ashton asked as I turned to him smiling. "Look at him!" I turned and looked at Liam who was stacking napkins on top of each other in the corner. "You haven't flirted with someone in 4 years and that's who you choose?"

"Hey! I have flirted with people in the past 4 years." I said not very convincingly.

He looked at me unamused, "other than Luke."

My face fell and I thought for a second. I snapped and pointed at him, "I went on a date with Amanda Zeno." 

Ashton's face scrunched up, "that weird girl from our science class?" 

I sighed, "Yeah she was my rebound."

He shook his head and waved his hands at me, "Well honestly I like her better than this guy."

"Here's your water," Liam said putting the waters on the table. "Know what you want to eat."

"Yeah well share a 12-inch of everything pizza," I said.

"I'll put that in right now." He said putting the paper in his back pocket.

"So Liam." Ashton said leaning in his seat towards Liam, "Where do you go to school."

He laughed and shook his head, "Oh I'm not in school. Got out of high school last year." Older and educated. Perfect.

Ashton shot me a look that said "Don't you dare."

"Do you work here full time?" I ask ignoring Ashton's glance.

"Most of the time. I'm also in a band." My smile got wider as Ashton sighed and let his head slip to the table earning a concerned glance from Liam.

"So am I." I said smiling, "I'm lead and guitar what about you?"

"Same! You should really come to see us perform sometime. We have a gig at Jordan's in a week or so." 

Ashton let out another loud groan and let his head smack down on the table again.

"No way! Us too! The 13th?" I asked.

Liam just laughed and nodded, "Small world. So you must be.... sugars?" He asked snapping his fingers. "And are you in sugars too or the 5 minutes of spring?" He asked Ashton.

"5 seconds of summer," Ashton mumbled.

"Ah sorry mate. Anyway, I guess I'll see you there. Maybe we can get dinner before?" Liam asked.

I nodded smiling at him, "it's a date."

"Great." Liam said smiling back at me, "I'll uh put in your orders."

As Liam left Ashton just lifted his head and shot me a look I knew too well. The 'you're making a terrible mistake look'.

But I didn't care. I was just smiling like an idiot as I sipped my water through the straw.

Our pizza came and went and when the check came, Liam slid the customer's receipt to me and wished me a good day.

Liam Payne 011-788-2397

I shoved the copy of the receipt into my pocket as Ashton frowned at me knowingly.

[klonoadreams]

I was reading all the posts about Mako and, damn, now I have a taste(? for the couple that won't be a couple, Dellinger x Mako.

It's impossible but that has never stopped the ships. (And then I remember the age difference they have, it would be more or less the difference between Pudding and Sanji, right?)

Would there be about 4 Fishman/human hybrids? Big Mom's twins, Mako and Dellinger?

Who would be your actress in mind for a live action? I dominate Anya Taylor Joy or Isabella Gomez.

Lmao the NOTP of interest, like nope for reasons but also owo 👀

I getchu tho, its the concept, the parallels, but also, without Dellinger, we wouldn't have had Mako in the first place.

It's an interesting concept. Also yee, those actresses seem cool, Jenna Ortega or Xochitl Gomez are also some I'd have in mind too. So fun :V

Idk about the hybrids, yes maybe??? Idk lmaoo

Also gather round for my tirades. Its gonna get looong lmao and also at some point I went fuck it because nuance but also I don't have the brain cells to even go anything further than what I just blurbed lmao.

Like, sometimes I forget that Pudding is 16, but like that's why I had to make One Piece the exception to a lot of shenanigans, given the complexity of the fact that you got 17 and 19 year olds drinking so much, which even by the standards of Japan's drinking age, its still under it (which is 20).

So at soem point I was just fuck it, we ball. It's like with my Naruto fics, where you just set apart the civilians from our ninjas. Do that with pirates and whatever.

But remember, civilians are exempt from this. Thats why you got Mei flirting (albeit, playfully) with Chouko and how Killer B said she wasn't his type do to marriage custom shenanigans. And of course pre official genin Haku considered a civilian when he got engaged to Chouko, even tho he's older than her lmaooo.

It's honestly easier this way, but always keep in mind there is a line to be drawn. And that's why you got Law, Robin, Mako, and so many others that are resentful of the World Government.

Because they didn't even have a choice when they were all forced to grow up so soon, which is why so many of them are stunted to a degree. Even Mako has her own suffering, with how she kept suppressing her own emotions, to the point it made her sick because her body could not handle the strain at all.

Zoro probably has the most "normal" ish upbringing like he went through a lot, but no abuse, no neglect, no world government bs, but something along the lines of what I call Bridge to Terebithia, where you lose your childhood friend so suddenly like that. Because life is random sometimes and it sucks (also the writer's son's friend irl died via lightning strike, but it was tweaked to what happened in the book because it wasn't as realistic so yeah), and it will forever stay with you. So live on.

Probs the most stable as a result, he is a rock. Love him. :V

[phatburd]

([Yet Another] 'Questions for Fic Writers') Multiples of 9!

9. Have you ever collaborated with someone else on a fic?

I was in The Old Guard Reverse Bang 2022, and you can see the original post here.

I've never collaborated on a mutual writing project however, but maybe the current spate of Napoleonic roleplaying blogs qualifies. I didn't expect to hit angst with Murat so soon, but he'll be back to his glittery self soon at some point.

18. Are there any fics or authors that have been particularly influential or inspiring to you?

There's a number of authors who've influenced my fics, including Octavia Butler, Robert J. Sawyer, Marko Kloos, and John Scalzi. But the biggest influence by far is James S.A. Corey.

JSAC is actually two people -- Daniel Abraham and Ty Franck. Everything about The Expanse (books and show) has been a huge inspiration in my fics. It's the incredibly detailed world building, it's the story pacing and structure, how to create memorable characters that leave an impression even if it's only for one scene. It's the brutal cold opens and even more vicious cliffhangers.

Andy Weir is another huge influence. He makes hard science easily accessible to audiences who might not be so knowledgeable. However, the way he influences my work the most is his humor. That scene in The Martian with pirate ninjas? Fucking genius.

Humor, when sprinkled in at the right moments, keeps the audience's attention and keeps them engaged and immersed. Yeah, Weir could have used "kilowatt hours per sol" but that's a mouthful and, as a reader, doesn't that make your eyes just glaze over? So, instead of "kilowatt hours per sol" he named the unit "pirate ninjas."

This is why in "Once All There Was" I was inspired to let Ney name the Russian forest "Those Fucking Trees" and let him keep calling it that. It's a moment of gallows humor in a desperate situation, but also doesn't grind the audience down in the horrible situation Third Corps is in.

27. What two (or more) fandoms would you like to see a crossover for? Would you ever write it?

I have this slightly insane fusion/crossover I want to do but it may be too ambitious for me to tackle.

It's a period-accurate War of the Worlds, but instead of Edwardian England, it's in contemporaneous La Belle Epoque France instead, specifically in Paris.

Henri de Toulouse Lautrec, Sarah Bernhardt, and Oscar Wilde go set out to save the world from the Martians. There's also a lot of absinthe and cigar smoking in-between dodging Martian tripods. Yeah.

Thanks for the ask!

[voidsentprinces]

I continue poorly explain ffxiv

Welcome back to Final Fantasy XIV or as I like to call it Fantasia Character Rotissiere. Last time we fought secondary dragon satan who possessed the unwashed elf boy that is Estinyan. Saved our baby boy’s sister from being assassinated by Identity Fraud and his gang of back up dancers and watched our one true boy Papalymo sacrifice himself to stop another calamity. So naturally Spike from Buffy the Vampire shows up and convinces us to activate an alien super weapon to break our boy’s sealing spell and we’re like SIGN US THE FUCK UP! So naturally after that happens a new war begins between the Eorzean Alliance and the Garlic Jr. Empire cause Garlic died last time and there was a civil war but we didn’t see it. All you need to know is Blond Alan Rickman is now the Emperor and his right hand man is...still probably on those floating islands safe and sound and is still very much alive because I unlocked Aurum Vale for roulette and I am unlocking nothing else that is essential to progress that isn’t MSQ. Where was I? Oh yes, Ala Mhigo which lies somewhere between the Red Wood Forest and Death Valley. Whose people are subjigated by the Garlic Empire. The time has come to free them and by free them I mean get told off by the local populace fight an angry scottish woman and then get one shot by Rocky from the Horror Picture show if he was ten feet tall and carried a golf bag of SWORDS! So many swords he probably swipes left if you’re not at least metallic and SHARP! But enough about that, Al Pacino has the bright idea that in order to free Ala Mhigo we first must free Doma who is under the same rule as Ala Mhigo working with the same exact problems Ala Mhigo does but I am sure this will turn out just find. So after black mailing Captain Elf Sparrow, we send Al Pacino where he belongs. Into a ghost graveyard and we leave his ass there because now its time to arrive at Kugane, where we’ll attempt to climb a tower for five minutes, get pissed by invisible collision boxes, log out and swear we’ll never play this stupid fucking game ever again. But the game knows you’ll be back, YOU’LL BE BACK! So we start up Genshin Imp--hahaha fuck no, log the fuck back in we got a catfish to punch, an old samurai to save, and the lost Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle to save all while running away from the POLICE! And what better way to evade arrest than to flee the fucking country so out into the Ruby Sea we go, which is controlled by the Confederacy. Don’t worry its not the racist one its the pirating one. But I hope you like swimming because you’ll be doggy paddling back and forth between these small islands for about 2 hours before we are hooked up with DIVING! So come visit the Ruby Sea. We got manta rays, grotesque demon walruses, an armored turtle with a giant fuck off sword and getting STEPPED ON by an angry woman who I am 20% spends half her scene time smoking opium. Don’t worry though despite the Garlic Empire being a big problem they’re not so much a big problem that you and the Scooby Gang can’t handle them. In fact we can handle them so well we only get our asses kicked by the giant top heavy Ken doll ONE more time before we’re allowed into the LIZARD KINGDOM. Where reptiles roam the earth and every single one of them want to kill you. So like Heracles we have to do a bunch of tasks to win their trusts like breaking into their sacred holy ground and stealing their parrow, picking unwater sea kress, and talking to Sadu Dotharl the baddest motherfucker this side of the Hildibrand questline. Seriously if you ever wished you could be a crater on the ground, this woman will GRANT THAT FUCKING WISH! Sorry where was I. Oh yeah, after descrating their holy ground we are invited to a blood contest to choose their next leader so naturally falls to you and your first decree is maybe show up to class when the Garlics are ready to rumble. Cause if you don’t well...this entire trip was completely utterly useless. Lets just blow up the castle and call it a day--actually we kind really do just blow up the castle in the process of freeing Doma. Who knew the only thing you needed to do to win a revolutionary war was raise up an army of dragon people and causing FLOOD DAMAGE to the Historical District. Don’t think too much about it because now that we’ve TOTALLY freed Doma from the iron fist of the Garlics its time to go back to Ala Mhigo...despite there...still be an entire empire out there that will definitely reinforce their lost territory but don’t worry about it. They don’t seem the type to just level an entire territory on at the slightest scent of revolution anywhere else...right? Anyway after crossing the sea and remember Alphinaud exists, we return to Ala Mhigo with none of the Doman army to back us up and we...actually do very well. We run into Braveheart again but its alright she just pisses off the snake people and summons a GIANT WOMAN TO ENSLAVE US WHEN WE SLEEP! So after knocking that one out of the park. Rock the Ken Doll arrives and decides he likes us blowing up buildings so much he’s going to give Fordola a cannon. And blow us to kingdom come...and thus ends our life in Final Fantasy XI--I am fucking kidding Estinien comes back and ONE SHOTS A FUCKING CANNON! If you think that sounds dumb, it isn’t it is the most awesome thing ever. Imagine watching a War Documentary where after the battle of Gettsyberg, the ghost of George Washington juiced up on the blood of Satan got into fist fight with a tank and WON! It is EXACTLY as awesome as I just described and will be taking no criticism at this time because after a wardrobe change for Yda definitely Yda, she is definitely Yda don’t worry about it she would Lyse to you now would she? We go to the Lochs. Where we take in the sights, get caught by border patrol, beat the Guinness World Record for longest breath ever held, listen to a soldier talk about getting the BEST head ever before killing him and his comrades and facing off against a woman I am surprise isn’t wearing 20 belts and using some healing crystals to give her a migraine. All in the name of saving Krile who will DEFINITELY give us black mail material so we can hold Alphinaud hostage. Sorry, I meant we’re going with Alphinaud to fight a bunch of Samurai wolves and if you think that sounds awesome, you’re kind of fucking right. After punching them so hard PETA is probably going to ram a jeep into my front room, we kick open the door, fight through the streets of another castle and whoa would you look at that Doma finally shows up to give us aerial support...like...at the last fucking minute seriously we re-capture 99.9% and Doma comes in acting like its 0.01% is going to get us the A+ on the project. Anyway, all you really need to know is Ken turned into a DRAGON and we fight on a convinently placed platform in the sky before he kills himself and we play the National Anthem....seriously what the fuck did I just pl

[ishikawayukis]

es que es imposible no cantarla, tanta verdad en una sola canción 🙏🏽 JAJAJAJAJA thanks Belle!! I’m hoping it does bc I’m seeing my siblings next week for vacation and I seriously want to get everything set so I can enjoy it without unnecessary stress 🫡

no bc this truly showed how much Sanji worries and loves his family aka the strawhats, o sea hasta se le iba decir “I don’t want to put everyo- I mean Nami in danger” YEAH RIGHT te voy a creer para que no te pongas a llorar Sanji, claro que no te preocupan todos😌

the thing is I’m convinced people don’t stop to think in moments like these: Luffy was completely set on STARVING to DEATH, his dream AND the whole series of over a thousand episodes is to become king of the pirates, yet for his crew in specific arcs like this one he was completely fine and willing to d*e for them and not have achieved that dream. And again we could say “well he trusted Sanji would come/Nami would have said the truth/Robin was going to ask for help” well that just adds another incredible element of how he has ABSOLUTE trust in them, even when they lie to him, Luffy sees through them and thinks: “you know what, if you’re not with me that dream is doomed, I’m staying here and not leaving you” y así va a hacer and when he brings the “say what you REALLY want!” card- EVERY TIME HE DOES THIS 👏🏽EVERY👏🏽SINGLE👏🏽TIME👏🏽 I just lose it y yo sé que me van a hacer llorar y termino llorando mares y océanos

okay vaya, no es por nada pero si tuviéramos que ponerle pareja a ley: Viola es mucho más bonita en mi opinión y con más salud mental bc Pudding girl, you clearly need a therapist JAJAJAJA todavía no sé si sigue actuando o tiene graves problemas de polaridad but that ain’t it guys, fuera de eso estoy bien con que me lo dejen soltero bc he also needs help and if anything: zosan or sanlu doesn’t sound too bad-

it’s so great that you can actually talk about it with others:’) I literally see random post or comments hating on any character that doesn’t deserve the hate and I’m like yeah bye 🤠👍🏽 and my best friend that does watch anime, has watched many others but op💀 no pero es que vaya, canon canon claro que no hay nada PERO FROBIN MIS ESTIMADOS COMPAÑEROS‼️ he even said to her “isn’t that attractive woman our archeologist Robin-chan??” when they saw each other at sabaody island, my honor they’re married in secret solo están esperando que Luffy se haga rey de los piratas para contarlo-

DUDEEEEE Jimbei and Brook are carrying the whole arc wtf these legends are literally doing everything and saving everyone, so much respect for both of them, de por si ya me caían super bien pero es que se lucieron en este arc🫡 the panties jokes are funny tbh to me Brook is like one of the funniest yet one of the most sincere/sentimental/grounded?? which is to be expected he has lived longer lol

ALSO OKAY- me vale un pepino saber el backstory de Big Mama BUT SHE ATE THE KIDS AT 6 YEARS OLD??!?!? a devil incarnated, los gigantes tenían razón la verdad JAJAJAJA

and I also can’t believe Germa 66 are basically the evil power rangers JAJAJAJAJ literal solo vi la transformación y mi cerebro intercambiando entre “go go Power Rangers!!” y “Power Rangers- NINJA STORM!!!” JAJAJAJA it’s so sad they’re assholes tho, would’ve loved them and hyped them if they weren’t the living trauma for Sanji, but alas😔✋🏽

you're going on vacation that's so fuuuun! hope you can get everything sorted out to fully enjoy them

sanji constantly slipping up by saying he cares about everyone we know what you areeeeeeeeeee and we love you so much LMAO

NO EXACTLYYYY like people truly don't fucking Get what luffy is all about, and that's freedom above everything, entonces si cacha q sus compañeros están en una situación en la q literal no quieren estar va a hacer TODOOOO para q ellos puedan ser libres también. like people don't fucking get how fucking smart luffy is emotionally, what he said to nami robin and sanji were all different thing that they all needed to hear

SANJI Y VIOLAAAAAA literal puro quería q terminaran juntos AJAJJA después de q salvan todo dressrosa viola está bailando flamenco y en la canción decían algo como "su novio es el patas negras" y racionalmente sé q lo están diciendo de la manera de q están engañando al novio, pero mi sanji lover brain estaba como "ESTÁN HABLANDO DE SANJIIIIIII VIOLA AMA TANTO A SANJIII" most delusional moment LMAO honeslty i'm a sanji with anyone (but pudding) enjoyer like, sanzo? amazing 10/10, lusan? also freaking great, sanuso? acesan? sanlaw? sanji with literally any man he ahs ever interacted with because somehow men fucking love him? all for it! LMAO

yeah it's honestly so great because i can be a fangirl but in a more lowkey way as well LMAO lo único q me han dicho es un conocido q cuando dije q sanji era mi favorito dijo "aah a mi nunca me ha gustado sanji" y yo apunto de decir ok y querí un premio un aplauso acaso AJAJJA pero me aguanté. no because when franky said that i was like ooooooooooh how is she not a goner for him like i would be 100%. IMAGINEEEE that would be so funny and honestly a very frobin thing to do

jinbe and brook are SO FUCKING GREAAAT, although i will not lie it does annoy me when the power scaling idiots say that now that jinbe is a part of the starwhats sanji is not a wing anymore like pleaseeeeeee tell me once again you don't get the dynamics at all. and yeah brook is just a silly goofy guy that's what 50 years by yourself does to a man he could be worse

no pero esa era yo viendo su backstory, entiendo pq es importante all that jazz pero al mismo tiempo me caes maaaaal no me importa AJAJJA pero cuando llegué a esa parte fue como 👁👄👁 los problemas serios venían de bien chiquita tal vez era necesario saberlo ajajaj

for me they were evil sailor moon LMAO especially with the way they showed how they transfromed i was like ooooooh oda i Know what you're trying to do this is hilarious

[stupid-youtube-rants]

Problem 1: apparently

OH BOY IT'S THE "SAME JOBS" CHAPTER

okay I originally got mad at this guy for using ai-generated images to illustrate this point. But, just like a shitty pokemon game, one single flaw shouldnt distract from the foundational failure that makes those games bad I will die fighting every other person who has an opinion on the pokemon siwtch games one day- also he apologised in the comments. ANYWAY:

once again he makes his point with twice as many words as he needs to, with a silly voice to boot. I think I made the mistake of listening to that at merely 1.5x speed last time.

ANYWAY his hypothetical thing is about four engineers who each specialise in elemental-adjascent engineering fields. I think actual magic would have been too cool - like, if we imagined magical engineers, we'd think that's a really cool concept and that'd go against his conceit that this is a boring premise. HOWEVER, he ended up going against his conceit ANYWAY, because ENGINEERING ISN'T MAGIC.

Anyway-

The "one job" pitfall is just stupid. A lot of series will have a lot of characters who have the same job. This is especially true of the kinds of series that would have elemental magic.

Most important Naruto characters are Ninjas! Most One Piece characters are Pirates! Even in a series like Avatar where none of the main cast has a specific "job", most of the important people use bending primarily to fight!

Because nobody picks up fucking Naruto and says "I hope there aren't too many ninjas in this series"!!!!!! ARE YOU STUPID OR SOMETHING???????

"Nobody wants to read a story where 95% of the characters do the same job" DO YOU KNOW WHAT A SUPERHERO IS AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH MONEY THEY MAKE AS FRANCHISES

It's another way that failing to start with a "setting of the stage", as it were, causes this video to fall apart. Because yes, it's important to vary your cast, but he's accidently shown of a STRENGTH of elemental magic: if you have a cast of characters who seem to overlap, elements are a good way to add variety to them!

Literally IN HIS EXAMPLE he shows this, because the fact that they're DISTINCTLY DIFFERENT TPYES of engineer actually means that they DON'T have the same job!

Im gonna make this man walk up to an aerospace engineer and tell them to their face that they havethe same job as a chemical engineer. I wanna see what happens.

Also i reiterate that engineering is so very very divorced from magic that it cant really serve as an example at all. Which makes me more spiteful of the fact that he wasted a valuable [culumatively under five minutes] of my LIFE laying out that example with TOO MANY WORDS!

unlike me, who isnt saying too much about nothing at all right now. dont look at me.

And you know what, it makes sense, because he's making a point which, itself, is ALSO divorced from anything to do with elemental magic.

I agree that it can be interesting to vary your casts. and the world and the magic do become more interesting when you think about what normal people use this magic system for. One of my favourite details in undertale is Toriel's stove, which the narrator notes looks barely used because Oh Yeah she has fire magic.

It's humanising as a detail, but the lack of it isn't story-destorying. ESPECIALLY since, contrary to this guy's insane ramblings, most people do in fact like reading stories where 95% of the characters are one job if they think that job is cool enough and want to read about people doing that job.

he didn't even explain why it'd be uninteresting. he just went "eeeugh."

okay first of all, this guy's annoying to listen to. It's the kind of video that I put to 2X speed right away. He says too many words without any additional substance to them...

The first thing I remember being baffled by is his reluctance to establish any sort of context, or provide specific examples other than the footage he uses as B-roll. but regardless he has consolidated the alleged problems into three specific points, which is always a good thing.

Look, I get that the POINT is that it's so universal that it doesnt need any introduction, but MAAAAYBE establish the baseline first? talk about elemental magic and what makes it so appealing? Oh I could do so much better.

Literally the FIRST thing I would say on this topic is "it's a paradigm, and that means that it's easy to explain and understand, but it also means that it's been done to death" - and then I'd expand on the history, the context- basically I'd do a trope talk. OSP RED NAMED THE ELEMENTS IN HER TROPE TALK ABOUT THE FIVE MAN BAND AND THATS NOT EVEN AN EPISODE ABOUT MAGIC FOR FUCKS SAKE.

And... the video is titled "why do we love / hate elemental magic", so i'm not insane for expecting a dissection of the prevelance of it, am I? this guy's stupid. I don't like him. ANYWAY

[grimbeak]

ok but after Pirate Jay AU ninjago city’s just gonna be so confused because now there’s this random kid running around with the rest of them and hoLY SHIT he has lightning powers??? and talks like a pirate like 70% of the time for some reason?? and one time he does an interview to explain his sudden appearance and apparently he was dead for like 8 months straight, got brought back, died again, then everything was erased and he had still been dead for 8 months???? and everyones just even more confused than before and Oh My God did he just kiss the ghost ninja holy SHIT