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imsailorpluto · 2 years ago

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Island finale + ... this one isn't for the weak

Pardon my french in advance. Of course there are spoilers in here. The blog is called "I love spoilers".

One last memory of Won Miho, a smart, intelligent woman, who went to Jeju island by her father's orders to teach ethics. I loved that awesome hair and fashion sense and self-confidence, determination, strength and cool temper. And drifting demon race in pt1. It's good they brought her back in those last few minutes, at least.

Shall we do this for the old times sake? Here goes.

Island Finale, what the hell did I watch?!

Ok, let's be graceful. The series got me exhausted. Being emotionally involved isn't the best option with this one... If you haven't watched it already and love the genre, expect mess, confusion and cognitive dissonance. Or not, it's fine.

My heart goes to two greatly significant characters. I can't stop thinking about them and I'm so grateful neither of them died by the other's hand . Putting aside both actors' charm, these two characters grew on me. One of them being a deeply misunderstood vengeful killer machine. And the other, adorable goofy exorcist.

Since this two parts story finally ended, it made me think about half-demon brothers and why is it that one of them is utterly evil and beyond redemption in the eyes of our little Island community while the other one is practically absolved of all of his "sins".

Both brothers are trained killers (to be correct, abused since early childhood by Jijangjong Temple’s clan) and that's exactly what they've been doing their entire lives - committing murders. The only difference is:

One of them was lucky enough to turn into what he was supposed to become, according to plan - emotionless killer. Knife accepted him easily.

The other brother's transformation didn't go according to the plan. His feelings somehow never disappeared, pain and suffering destroyed him - he cracked under the pressure just as anyone would

First one believed that Wonjeong can give them their human lives back, his bloodthirst was ulterior motive (and I'll get to that a bit later)

The other was hypersensitive one and could see through the clan's lies. Even as broken as he was. His humanity made him trust Yeomji later on, making them both susceptable to Baek's clan manipulation

Were those two brothers really that different to begin with? Pan brought wounded Wonjeong back to the temple. After hurting her. Because he believed she could save them. By doing so he turned his back on his brother. Gungtan followed him knowing he'd get punished for it, his loyalty unmatched. While Wonjeong was living her life being trained to fulfill her destiny yet having a sense of freedom, boys were chained and starved. She would bring them food, but she never gained Gungtan's trust again - and his hunch was right. She was the end of both brothers.

If there's God in this story, then the moment Pan stabbed Wonjeong and a piece of divine crystal entered him was that God's doing. Pan gained a piece of humanity, by ending a life of a living person, accidentally or not. It never suffocated his urge to kill, but it made him more aware of all the lives taken by the lust demon and then by his own half-demon hands. That didn't make him less of a killer, but it did clear his mind of fog (which made him realise both he and Gungtan have to die in order to set themselves free), he gained control over himself and his impulse to kill - even though his yearning for Miho still made him want to kill her, let's not forget that. He is a lust demon, afterall, which does sound awfully like a vampire, but I'll let it slide.

Vampires, however, often end up killing their loved ones, unless they learn how to control their bloodthirst. I can't help but consider both of them vampires, in a way.

Boy got therapy and it (partially) worked. And everybody fell for him as if he's an angel sent from heavens and his past has been erased. That's not how it works, but fine. Fine. I'm fine with people being there for him. But something is not adding up here, there's still no sympathy for Gungtan. Why?

Ah, Gungtan, the villain. Once a boy who loved his brother so much that he gave up his own freedom/life for him. Took the beatings for bringing Wonjeong back. And turned his back on the whole human race for good. His love was the purest love they showed us, but it's not in the focus, so it's easy to run it over like it never existed. He ended up chained in the dark for years. No therapy. No nothing. Left to rot. Oh but he can't die, because he's not human. Torture lasted and lasted. Then he was set free only to be used again. Was mercy ever given to him in any way? Was he ever given any chance to become something different from what he became? Is there anything this demon-slayer knows of, other than abuse, punishment, betrayal and smell of blood? He is as self-destructive as it gets, there's no turning back from his path of soul torture. Character development inconsistencies are out there on the surface, so let's not go into that any further.

He's a hyperviligant killing tool but he can't stay indifferent towards a little girl covering his feet with her jacket. That was it for me. I couldn't care less about any other character at that point. I fell for the deeply wounded devil that he is. Completely. Why? Because I'm Bob the builder, duh. Because in the real world, where real and often horrible things happen, anyone can become a target of abuse and turn into someone like Gungtan. Often completely unaware of it. Leave out the killing and you have a very realistic character. Psychologically, it's a hell of a ride to get back up on tracks afterwards. And people think it takes a lot to become a villain, they don't have the potential, something like that can never happen to them, so why not wish death upon a fictional character who suffered more than enough for a thousand lifetimes.

I'm not buying any of the moralist-on-duty shit. Leave. Him. Alone.

I wish he could have run away that instant, somewhere, anywhere, before the Baek clan put their magic manipulation skills to work. I wish he was safe and in peace. I can't put any blame on him for what he became. And what he did. Especially since it is strongly suggested he was used like a puppet after they woke him up. His anger was used for a "greater" evil purpose. I can't help but wanting to reach out and get him the hell out of there.

Despite general opinion of the Island community and Mr. Gungtan himself, he isn't that different from his brother Pan at all. He cracked under the pressure, yet he didn't need a magical crystal fragment to sober up and help another abused child, which he wouldn't do if he had no feelings left in him. Pan believed in Wonjeong, Gungtan believed in Yeomji, but neither of those girls could help the brothers. And no matter how much they wanted to live, death was the only escape from the constant hellfire brought upon them. Gungtan needed to escape his untameable urge for revenge which led him to madness, Pan needed to escape the burden of his heavy dirty bloodthirsty soul.

May I add, Miho never sold out Pan, like Yeomji, who switched sides like a spineless creature. Yes, she's a kid and could never measure up to Miho. Her influence, if there ever was any, ended once Baek clan took over Gungtan. The same clan known for their magical manipulation skills. Gungtan's misery just doesn't stop. Once again he's nothing but a killing tool.

The brothers escaped their personal hell by ending their own lives - which is why I'm not mad about the ending. Their suffering stopped, at last. Finally. Their inner demons were swallowed by the underworld. Gungtan's little smile at the end, that sigh of relief as lust demon left his body and he was finally free, that moment was e v e r y t h i n g

But you know what else was everything? Seeing my favourite Island manhwa character coming to life on screen. Finally! Well done, cgi team, well done!

In previous life or death battle, my boy Gio almost died. Ahh, how many times I yelled at the screen for him to just stay out of other people's business but thankfully he survived it all. He is my favourite goofy guy who makes people write witty texts about him. The only priest, real or fictional, I've ever liked and will ever like. Look at this fluffball. Must. Protect. Him. (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)

Thankfully, Johan survived all the battles, which weren't even his own to begin with and which lead me to believe he'd meet a tragic end sooner or later. Ah but that's the part of his charm - sticking his nose in other people's business so we never know if he'll live or not. There would be some ugly crying if something tragic actually happened to him. And just like in pt1, he was left on hold while bleeding to death. This time it was even more horrible than before.

Pan, seriously? Like "brb, let me just-". I swear, at some point this thing turned into such a grotesque show. Plot has twisted so hard it was unbearable to watch at times. But, Johan picked himself up from the brink of death, thanks to his badass powers. Amen!

Despite the fact that finale brought so much sadness to entire audience, either for the main villain's death or PanxMiho not happening in a million years (which I'll forever be grateful for), that final fight was amazing. Writers finally gave us a large portion of enjoyable action. Plus, Gungtan wasn't the end of Johan and vice versa. Honestly, that's more than generous from their part, since Gungtan's downfall was imminent and it all went downhill long time ago, anyways.

Hope they don't bring us pt3. Sorry. I'm done with the massacre of manhwa plotlines and characters. Starred actors were amazing. Talent and looks, you know, everything. Especially absolutely stunning Lee Da-hee. Craaaazy talented and amazing Sung Joon♡ But. Please. No. More. Island.

Well, with too pure for this world cutie, I conclude my thoughts. It's been fun.

Sailor Pluto wishes you a great day and more enjoyable kdrama,

Till next time, xx

P.S. If you've made it this far, wow, congratulations. It must not have been easy navigating that pile of chaos. Also, there are so many things I edited out of the "original" text, trying to keep my cool. Also, if for any reason you (dis)liked my interpretation of fictional characters of Island, my ask box is always open. (⁠◠⁠‿⁠◕⁠)

P.P.S. Dear gifmakers, if you want me to remove any of your GIFs from my posts, please feel free to contact me, it will be done immediately. Thank you for all your work for our little community (⁠✿⁠ ⁠♡⁠‿⁠♡⁠)

#tving island #kdrama #gungtan #won miho #priest johan #kang chan hyuk #van #demon slayer #imsailorpluto #island kdrama

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curiousemwanders · 2 years ago

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FIC REC: Twist Of Fate

Twist of Fate by Oakstone730

Okay I have a lot to say about this fic and I’m going to try and say it in a way that makes sense. (AKA this is a long post!)

I often pick long fics to read at work between appointments with clients, and I read this over the last three days at work and after work because I literally couldn’t put it down. I finished last night and spent a good amount of the night still thinking about it. I’m going to start with the only negative thing I have to say about this fic, which isn’t really even a negative, but it’s that maybe it should be rated Mature, not Teen. There are a few scenes that were just a tad too steamy for me to be reading between appointments with clients. In any other context, I would not call that a downside.

We choose fics to read for all sorts of reasons; we want to see our favorite characters in different scenarios, we wish they hadn’t died, we feel the author has wronged them, or misunderstood them, we want plot holes to be fixed, we don’t like the jobs chosen for them in that god awful epilogue. In more recent years, I think that many of us who read Harry Potter fan fiction have strayed further from the original source material for some of these reasons. It’s so much easier to read a fic that re-writes their adult lives, that established the characters and their identities in ways that place them in direct opposition to the hateful politics and ideas that J.K. Rowling has begun to espouse. And I think this is right, I think it’s good that fic authors are doing this. However it often leads me to avoid, or ignore works that play more directly in the world that Rowling created. I don’t mean the wizarding world, I mean the canon. It often feels that the works that play in the canon, that build upon them, are however subtly accepting Rowling's ideas, her hatred. I know this to be faulty logic, projection of my fears onto the fic. But I would be lying if I didn’t say it’s stopped me from reading some, many, works. Including the great many works created before we knew just how despicable Rowling really is.

I preface with that information to say that I don’t often read stories that build in the canon rather than rewrite it or use it as a backdrop that the characters are recovering, evolving from. This fic of course does play in the cannon, it expands it, and at points does use it as a backdrop for character recovery. What I find so interesting about the way Oakstone730 writes this story, is the way they’ve interwoven their plot, their ideas, their character growth, with the canon, with what we already know of the story. And I do mean that they wove the story through the already existing canon.

I suppose this is the point that a succinct summary of the fic would be useful (I’ll try to keep it as spoiler free as possible, but read at your own risk). In Twist of Fate Oakstone730 begins with a prologue set during the trials after the war Harry learns that he not only lost significant memories, but that he also isn’t a virgin, or as straight, as he currently thinks himself to be. What’s more, that he likely had been having sex with his boyhood nemesis Draco Malfoy, who is currently on trial for war crimes. The story then begins in earnest with the Quidditch world cup where Harry and Cedric talk a bit about sexuality (important to note that Cedric is also gay in this fic). At Hogwarts, after hearing that Harry can resist the Imperius curse, Draco seeks him out, offering to help him in potions if he can help Draco learn how to also throw an Imperius. Harry gets Cedric involved in order to help them, and to protect himself. And slowly, over the course of several chapters, we see them begin to build a friendship, and eventually fall in love. We don’t get any hint of why Draco would erase Harry’s memories of him, at least not until Harry begins Occlumency training with Snape. It then becomes clear, for those of us who remember the books, that Voldemort could use Harry’s memories of Draco against him. This fact isn’t made fully clear to either of them until the summer before 6th year when things become untenable for Draco.

What I love so much about the writing and storytelling in Twist of Fate is that it takes canon and says ‘yeah, that’s what Harry remembered, let me show you what really happened.’ There were so many parts where I would sit wondering ‘is this where we’re going to break from canon?’ AND ‘how are you going to explain this part of the story?’ Each time the answer was, no, Oakstone730 never broke from canon, and each time I was amazed by how they were able to weave what happened in their story through the canon in ways that not only made sense plot-wise, but made thematic sense to the original canon and to this new version. One of the best examples of this in my reading was how the second task was handled during the Triwizard Tournament. Go back and read it, it’s masterful.

Along with this reading, we get a much more complex story of our characters, we see Cedric as someone who wasn’t happy-go-lucky perfect, but as someone with texture, with a boyfriend he didn’t get to see often, dreams of being a mindhealer, skills he certainly used with Harry and Draco. We see Draco not only as an ex-Deatheater in a story of redemption (as in many excellent Drarry fics), but as someone who is actively unlearning the cultish and unequal upbringing he was raised in. I find that struggle is often hard to write, and subsequently to find. Further we see him engage in the actions many of us wish he could have taken in the canon, acting as a spy, helping the Order from the inside. And most notably, he does this without even the thought that we would survive. Draco too is a woven character, playing the nemesis when needed, but showing to us, the readers, his true colors.

Harry’s character in this is another amazing example of both adding delicious complexity and the masterful weaving I discussed above. When we read the canon, we often see Harry as this boy who has experienced so much complex trauma, who can be so observant, but also so obtuse and unable to express himself. This fic takes that and shows us another way to interpret it. Instead of a boy who wasn’t able to express himself, we see him with Cedric and Draco actually processing his trauma, building resilience, and most importantly, being happy. And we see that when those memories are erased from him, his skills for managing stress, for understanding himself and others becomes blunted again. We see him unable to control his magic, unable to let his friends in, to tell others about himself, to the extent that he runs away and goes into hiding.

All together this fic was amazing to read, and I truly appreciate the ways it built upon the characters and the story. I love it not only for the simple joy of reading it (oh god I didn’t even mention the delicious angst!), but because I can see the depth of skill it took to write this story, and I can't help but be mesmerized by it.

#Long post #fic rec #drarry

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rubbleinrainbows · 3 years ago

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I've seen a few posts about how jiang cheng and wei wuxian have no chances of ever being the same pair of brothers they were before everything happened. That it's never going to be them standing up for each other, but standing on the separate sides of the room. Taking separate roads, only glances exchanged sometimes, burden of reciprocated fault too heavy to bear together. And as angsty and seemingly rational the idea may be—I don't thinks that's quite it.

(For the sake of convenience, I'll be referencing only the scene from the Untamed, when jiang cheng is captured by jgy and confronts wwx about the golden core. )

Jiang Cheng goes through all the phases of grief—first, angry at wwx turning out to be the misunderstood hero, shunned by the public as he sacrifices himself again and again, living out the Jiang clan's motto while all jc could do was live in his shadow.

Angry that after all the years he spent rebuilding everything wwx tore down by accident—his whole family just collateral damage of his arrogance—couldn't have happened without another one of wwx's sacrifices. That he couldn't even protect his nephew from it.

Painful desperation and unwillingness to accept it when Jgy tells jc he's partially responsible for wwx's fate.

After everything, all he can do is repeatedly shout at wwx, asking why he did it. He'd had everything, and just when jc had maybe hoped in the deepest part of his soul that his brother would prove to be a self fulfilling prophecy. Y'know. Out of spite, he gave it all away and lied about it so jc wouldn't suffer.

As such, accepting that hurts. Understanding that hurts.

True, before the knowledge that wwx wasn't just his irredeemable bastard brother who flew too close to the sun and JC had to watch from the ground, tending to earthly matters, their relationship might've ended at the hurt being the final straw. Instead, we are given a scene of forgiveness.

Jc allows wwx to get closer to him, even allowing him to touch his face and wipe his tear. Using visual symbolism, I believe this exchange is foreshadowing for the brother's reunion and building of something new out of themselves.

Someone may argue—left with no debts between them, they are perfectly free to part ways.

But is that it? Sure, debt and repaying it by all means is a theme woven throughout the whole story—screw the differences of the novel or show. However, no matter how often debt is a metaphor for love, we cannot equate such two things. Debt and love aren't synonymous.

So while Jiang Cheng and wei wuxian do not owe each other anything anymore (as wwx clearly states, telling him to forget all the mistakes they both made in wwx's first life), loving someone is not a job. Jc doesn't need a contract to love his brother despite everything that happened, because that's just not how the love between siblings works. Wwx is the same, and you cannot tell me he doesn't miss jc—for the love of god, he gave away his golden core for that man and that's not a thing that stops mattering when he dies.

In the end, it will take time. Jiang Cheng has to forgive wwx, and then himself for it to work and it'll be no small effort on wwx's part either; no one said anything about reforming bonds being easy. I'll even allow myself to use the golden cores as a reference, in that losing them is far too easy and reclaiming them often requires far too much effort for people to do it.

It's like I wrote before though—loving someone is not a job you choose, you're payed for, or that you quit.

In other words, even if they can part ways, in no universe would either of them choose to. If JC really didn't know about wwx's sacrifice, why waste 16 years of your life looking for your presumably dead brother who probably dispersed, when you could finally live without him in peace? With all the trouble he'd caused?

After all, when you start to love someone, it's impossible to erase that. And Jc is just human, seeking out other humans.

#the untamed #mdzs meta #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #yunmeng brothers #character study #character analysis

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frumverrfriggjar · 3 years ago

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Thoughts on Odin and the ‘ugly’ bits in the myths

Before I really started diving into the lore, I suppose my idea of Odin was very much coloured by Tolkien’s Gandalf and my notion of the Christian patriarch. A wise old man, understanding of everyone, and without judgement. Morally flawless. This is what I felt a god should be. The archetype of the just and noble king who always does what is right for his subjects and is never corrupted by his wealth and power is one that appealed to me when I was young, but as I grew older, I came to think this is a character that is actually awfully dull. I want to see characters struggle with life. I want to see them make mistakes and do bad things. I want to learn something from their struggle. I was intrigued to discover, then, that Odin is a much less noble, much darker figure than I had imagined him to be. When I read the myths, he often comes across as greedy and petty. He is very proud and demanding of respect, and eager to prove and show off his knowledge. There are parallels between Christ on the cross and Odin’s hanging, but I think the most telling difference between them is that Odin’s sacrifice (of himself to himself!) is purely selfish.

So, it seems, then, that Odin is a god to be feared and appeased, a terrible and chaotic force of nature, but one that could prove a powerful ally (like all forces of nature tamed to be used by humankind). If you manage to gain his favour, that is, because his love is not unconditional. He needs to get something out of it. More people to add to his army. More knowledge. More power. A fuck :)

Recently I read a very enlightening post on the “fandomification” of mythology on Tumblr by classicslebianopinions that I misunderstood at first. I assumed the OP was talking about adaptation. I sat down to read their reply to the question why fandomification was a bad thing, and I realized I have been approaching the Norse myths from a similar angle. When I look at all the art I have made of the Allfather, and especially of his relationship with Loki, I can see I have been trying to “fix” them. I have made them so loving and tender :’) I guess it speaks for me that I want everyone to have a wholesome relationship (or maybe all it says is that I am a massive sap :P), but I have made them better people than they actually are. I do not like the fact that they call each other perverts for not sticking to the ideals of manhood in Lokasenna. I do not like that Odin’s sense of his own masculinity is apparently so fragile he starts spouting misogynist shit after being accused by Loki of dressing like a woman. I do not like the fact that Odin taunts and disrespects his own son Thor in Hárbarðsljóð. But, Saskia, you walnut, you just said it yourself, a story about some super woke people never doing anything wrong and just having a lovely old time is going to be so incredibly dull! I must not erase parts of their personality that do not appeal to me. This is what will make them interesting and these are tools I can use to tell my story, especially since I want queerness to be a big part of it. There is shame in there, and toxic masculinity, and self-loathing. I realized I have been worrying too much about making Odin likable (i.e. morally pure! I fell into the trap!) and about redeeming him. But redemption is not mine to give anyway; that is up to the audience. It is... interesting that I apparently have this need to make my own characters Good People (perhaps because part of me thinks my art must reflect Me?), since I really enjoy rat bastards in fiction created by others. When I think about characters that have really stuck with me, there are a lot of them with really despicable traits :) but I am still able to empathise with them and love them as characters. I must trust that Odin’s humanity will be evident. I suppose one of the reasons why I have fallen in love with the supreme witch boy is the precise fact that he is such an amoral asshole, and that he is complex and contradictory and human.

#norse gods #norse mythology #odin #been a while since i wrote anything #but i have done a whole lot of reading and Thinking #these are just some thoughts i jotted down for myself #and are hopefully interesting to read

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kuvvydraws · 3 years ago

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Welp, I am indeed a simp towards a skeleton I haven't met yet...

Not that I'm complaining though~

What do they think if their S/O are placioromantic?

For those who don’t know, because I had to look it up too, placioromantic refers to someone who likes to do romantic things for their partner but doesn’t like to be on the receiving end of those actions (according to google).

Raavi likes it a lot.

They got a pretty big ego, and they love to be appreciated, complimented... Just pay attention to them in a positive way, for the love of God, thank you. Their footing is pretty unsteady in relationships due to their unease towards compromise, and they’re not used to do anything romantic for anyone.

With how often they’ve had tumbles with strangers and friends alike, they’ve just erased any kind of romantic gesture in their actions as to not be misunderstood- the last thing they want is to lead someone into thinking they have feelings for them, which happens too often with how friendly and affectionate they are.

Órdago will be a bit off-put and will take him some time to get used to it.

He hasn’t had a lot of time to invest into thinking about relationships, and he’s unsure where the line that dives romantic from affectionate lies, so SO will have to specify a little so he can understand what they prefer or rather not have him do.

In the beginning, he feels off, as if he were neglecting his duties as a partner, but he’s still being appreciated so it seems to be okay? And if that what his SO prefers... SO will need to give him clues from time to time, but he’ll do his best to respect their wishes.

#kuvvytalks #raavi #órdago #hc #undertale

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random-mha-thoughts · 5 years ago

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Name (Todoroki x Reader)

Pairing: Todoroki x fem!Reader

Anon asked: “suggestion for Todoroki angst : he got in an arranged marriage with S/O because of his dad who offered a large amount of money to her family for this. Indeed it’s not what they are both looking for but Todoroki really acts cold, is sharp, openly criticizes her (a bit OOC ik) ... S/O is hurt but is still trying to be a good wife around the house to make the best of the situation and hide her insecurities. It’s just an idea, if it does not inspire you I hope you will find something better!! xx

Genre: Angst. Just...angst. I’m so sorry in advance plz don’t hate me

Warnings: Grab your tissues, this is a long roller coaster that’s only going downhill OH GOD I’M SO SORRY

Word count: 3,059

Tags: @yuki-osaki @liviitehe @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog

a/n: (Submission 1/3 for my post asking for todo angst ideas! Thanks for the ask anon!)

Um. This is...depressing. Really depressing and really intense. I didn’t expect it would turn out this way. But it did. I had 2 other endings, but I instinctively wrote this one. I actually had to stop and cry for a few minutes because it was just really painful I mean, I know I said I was ready to but I didn’t actually mEAn it

I tried a different style for this, but I think it suits the story well. It’s 3rd person limited because I wanted you to experience everyone’s feelings in this (gotta maximize on the angst yknow) and half past tense bc of reasons you’ll find out.

God I’m afraid to post this. Is it bad that I love it, I honestly spent so much time writing this, but it hurts sO mUch?? Y’all are gonna hate me, you’re gonna kill me, oh no, just read the thing already, I’m hiding.

Buy me a coffee?

Shoto didn't know how to react to the news. It's not that he had his eye on anyone in particular, or that he was even interested in marriage for that matter. But because he proposed it, the man who had spent his entire childhood controlling every aspect of his life, he refused to accept any other intrusions from the man he should call "father."

The strange man across from his father spoke those words so casually. "So Endeavor, when are these two tying the knot?"

At first, he thought he had misheard or misunderstood. And then his father responded just as casually, "The date is set for next month."

The normally calm and collected boy almost burst the entire room into flames. He clenched the silverware so hard his knuckles turned white and his teeth ground together, but he couldn't say anything in front of his father's guest and his daughter for fear of shaming himself. The girl across from him offered a sympathetic look, but he turned away, already preparing the earful he's going to give his father.

"I want nothing to do with this!" he whirled on Endeavor as soon as they were home. "You've made my life a living hell controlling every single thing! And now you even want to control my marriage?!"

"I'm doing this for you!" Endeavor bellowed right back. "For the Todoroki name! For your future!"

"This is all for you! I want no part-!"

"If you don't agree, you'll never see your mother or the siblings again."

The calm threat was enough to drench Shoto's wrath into submissive fear. The flaming monster in front of him proved once again that he hasn't an ounce of sympathy for his blood. He's learned that family is the only thing keeping his son under his thumb and he still actively exploits that weakness.

All the boy can do is swallow and walk away, retreating to the outside world to escape his bitter reality even temporarily. Shoto doesn't have outbursts often, but there are times when the straw finally breaks the camel's back, and this is one of them. All he can do is run until he can't run anymore, reaching somewhere secluded enough where he can burst out in flames and ice without hurting anyone, finally getting to a forest where he can do exactly that and scream to his heart's content. It's the only thing he can do that is under his own control.

In the month that followed up to the wedding, Shoto barely spoke a word to anyone, choosing to isolate himself. He only came out when he absolutely had to show his face at functions to the bride's family and look presentable. His mind was always absent, the time flying in a blur of colors and white. Thankfully, his father did the preparations, so all he had to do was go along with everything. Shoto was simply playing a role in a play or movie, he was an actor who deserved an award for being in character for a month.

The night of the wedding, he and his newly-wedded wife were whisked away to their new home, being alone for the first time together. He didn't even know what she looked like nor did he care. As soon as they walked through the door of their already-furnished house, he released a heavy breath, brushed past her, unbuttoned his tuxedo, and - cold as his ice quirk - instructed, "I'm going to bed. Don't come up tonight." It was the first time he had ever spoken directly to her.

His wife, through this entire ordeal, was patient with him. She didn't want this arrangement either, but she figured they could at least talk and come to a mutual agreement. The entire month, she never pushed him to speak to her. She anticipated that he would be rational about this, as she was told by her family, and that they would be able to talk things over when they were finally alone. Just as she was going to speak her mind the way she had rehearsed it many times, he dismissed her. She was hurt, but she understood. He's exhausted after a whole month of stress and preparations, she rationalized, He just wants to rest. I wouldn't want to talk to a stranger after all that either.

Resolving to try again tomorrow morning, she undressed (with great difficulty), crept into the master bedroom for her clothes while Shoto showers, retrieved her pajamas quietly, and retreated back to the living room. The girl searched all the closets for a thick enough blanket and settles down to sleep on a couch, the exhaustion putting her right to sleep.

The next morning, the new Mrs. Todoroki woke up bright and early to make breakfast for her husband as an olive branch. She toiled away in the kitchen, somewhat making a racket even though she wanted to stay quiet so Shoto can sleep. Just as she finished setting the table and had to face the question of how to wake him, the boy padded down from the room.

"Oh, morning!" she smiled brightly at him.

He murmured a greeting back only to be polite, his face devoid of any real emotions other than coldness. He sat as far away from her a possible, thanking her for the meal halfheartedly and digging in without another word.

After waiting a few moments to let him satisfy his hunger, she cleared her throat. "So, um-"

"Your tamagoyaki needs more soy sauce and butter," he stated bluntly.

She blinked at the harsh comment. It was shocking he said anything to her at all, and the first thing he said was an insult.

"And the miso has no flavor," he continued in the same tone.

The girl finally gathered her wits. "I'll do better tomorrow. Thanks for the feedback, I guess?" she laughed nervously, trying to erase the immense tension Shoto bled into the atmosphere. When he didn't respond, she tried again. "I know this isn't something either of us wanted, but that doesn't mean we have to live here like enemies. We could be friends, or even just roommates!"

"I'd rather be strangers," he interjected harshly.

It felt like a stab in the heart. Here she was, trying to make their lives somewhat bearable together through their common misfortune, and all he wanted to do was live like ghosts in the same house.

Shoto placed his chopsticks down firmly, glaring her straight in the eyes with the iciest hatred she's ever seen. "Just to be clear, I want no part of you. You live your life and I live mine. You can have the bedroom to sleep at night if you want, but it's mine when I come home to shower and prepare for bed. We will not sleep, talk, or breathe near each other as long as we are in this house."

She dipped her head in defeat, unable to bear the weight of his stare. "C-Can we at least have our meals together?" she asked feebly.

It's something he respected, coming from family values no matter how broken. It's the only exception he made to their less-than relationship.

Months passed and she kept her end of the bargain through a suffocating routine. At first, the girl was kind, trying to get him to open up to her somehow without overstepping her boundaries. She made excuses for him constantly. He's just tired. The least I can do is leave him alone. I can't comfort him anyway, I'm a stranger. He's still upset about the whole thing, he'll come around. She even begged her boss to let her leave a little early every day to make sure she had ample amount of time to get home, shower, and prepare dinner before Shoto returned. When he did, he wordlessly showered, sat down to dinner, nitpicked at her cooking, finished eating, and went to sleep on the living room couch, all without even sparing her a glance.

But as every day passed, she grew more weary and worn in her efforts to please him. She tried to fix every little complaint Shoto had about her cooking or the cleanliness of the house or the laundry, but nothing seemed to satisfy him. She tried to hold onto the silver lining. At least he never touched me wrong or took advantage of me, she would think bitterly. He has the decency not to take his anger out on me.

Then the dark thoughts closed in as he continued ignoring her. Surely, Shoto's only disgusted with his father, he doesn't harbor hatred for her personally. Then she would remember the hate and disgust in his mismatched eyes the first day of their marriage. She realized no matter how desperately she tried, he wouldn't show her any signs of warmth or appreciation. No more did she try to make conversation with him during meals or greet him when he came home. There were days she thought, Why should I even try? He wouldn't like it either way. What's the point of getting up today? Maybe he'll even criticize how I sleep. But she still rose out of bed every morning and carried out her routine because it could always be worse.

A sliver of hope came in the form of Shoto's birthday. The girl figured if she did something just a little special, he would acknowledge her even the tiniest bit. She spent days beforehand researching and testing out the perfect cold soba recipe because she knew it was his favorite. She lit some candles on the table and bought a small cake for them to share.

When he came home, she was sure he would notice and say something, but he didn't; he went straight up to the bathroom as he usually did without a word. Though she felt the glimmer lessen in her heart, she didn't give up. For the first time in a while, she verbalized her thoughts to him.

"I made your favorite for your birthday!" she chirped as he sat down, setting the plate and a cup of dipping sauce in front of him. She was so eager for him to try it because she was confident she'd gotten it right this time. If she were a dog, her tail would've wagged in anticipation as he slurped the noodles into his mouth. She waited patiently for his feedback, leaning forward in excitement as he swallowed.

"The noodles are slightly overcooked. And the dipping sauce is too strong, you didn't add enough water."

Her hopes came crashing to a halt. She couldn't even muster anything else to say as he hastily finished his dinner and rose to leave.

She stood up, heart hammering in her chest. "What about the cake?" Anything, something!

"I don't want it." He turned his back to her.

"I got it for you!" It was the first time she explicitly stated her intentions, the first time she made herself vulnerable.

"You shouldn't have gotten it at all. It was a waste of time. Why did you even try?" The calm and cold words stung her as he got up and left her in the dining room alone.

His words echoed against the empty walls of the dining room. She looked down at the cake he disregarded, feeling cold and dizzy. She took a shaky breath in and out before resting her head on the cold glass table to stabilize herself. The voice stabs through her even as she closed her eyes to block them out.

It was then she felt bluntly in her mind. He hates me.

The girl feels nothing but numbing cold, both on her face and inside. Rolling up to sit, her neck and back cry out in soreness from sleeping on the table, pale light greeting her from the nearby window. Her face feels strange, and she trudges to the bathroom mirror to check why. She knows she should be preparing for work, but what's the point? Her reflection reveals lines across her cheek, probably from sleeping on the edge of the table. She shuffles to the kitchen because she should probably start breakfast, but why should she? Leaning against the counter, she can't bring herself to move anywhere. Her brain buffers as she tries to force herself to think of what to do now. She doesn't feel sick, but there's a dull, cool feeling in her limbs that she can't face.

The phone rings, catching her off guard. Glancing at the number, she doesn't hesitate to answer. "Hello?"

"Hi, baby. It's me."

Her eyebrows relax, appreciating the sound of a familiar voice. "Hey, Mom. What's up?" She knows her voice sounds weak, she's hoping the woman can't hear it.

"I'm just checking in, you haven't called in a while. Is something up? You don't sound good."

"I'm...fine," she stumbles over the word. "How's dad?"

"He's doing well. You sure you're not sick, sweetie?"

"I'm not." She leans her back on the counter.

"Is Shoto there? How is he?"

And just like that, she feels something dislodge in her throat. "He's going to work, he probably left early." She doesn't know, there hasn't been any rustling in the house.

Her mom is silent for a while. "Tell me the truth. What happened?"

The sound of her mother's stern voice moves something in her chest. "It's nothing, I just made a mistake."

"Doing what?"

"I tried making Shoto's favorite dish for his birthday yesterday. I put so much time and energy into perfecting it for him to enjoy it, but I fell short again." She laughs bitterly, tears starting to fill her eyes. "He didn't even want the cake I got for him, he said it was a waste. I shouldn't have bothered with it." She blinks and a tear slides down her face. "I don't know why I was expecting something different to happen, I'm so stupid."

"Honey, where is this coming from? What's going on?"

She wipes her face, but more spill out of her eyes as she slides down the cabinet onto the cold floor. "It's just a little frustrating when you're sharing a house with someone you're married to and they barely acknowledge you. I mean, I expected there to be problems at first given the circumstances, but I didn't expect this." Her voice shakes with every word. "God, what did I do to deserve this? I've lived in this house for 5 months, and never has he even said 'thank you' to me. Hasn't breathed a word of appreciation to me. I do so much for him. I've bent over backwards for him just to make everything done the way he wants it, I've worked my entire routine, my entire life in this house to cater to him, but all he does is complain!" She sobs into the phone, curling up into a ball as tremors wrack through her body. "I'm just so tired. I don't know how much more I can take. I've made so many excuses for him, but I just can't do anything right. Why am I even still here?"

Her mother is silent on the other line. "My baby, if I knew this would happen, I wouldn't have allowed this marriage. I can't believe you're going through this."

The girl can't formulate words or think anything coherent. She drops the phone out of her hand, wrapping her legs to her chest as the tremors continue in waves, muffled whimpers the only thing escaping her lips because she's afraid to cry out loud despite being in an empty, lonely house.

Shoto heard something he probably shouldn't have, but he definitely needed to hear. It bothered him for the rest of the day. It was a sobering slap in the face that made him feel shame and regret, a hard-to-swallow pill that sat in his stomach the entire day.

On his way back home, the sound of her sobs echoes in his mind. He curses his behavior from the past few months. At the very least, he made a lady cry, and at the most, he's been a complete asshole. It's all his fault, that is something he's completely aware of and is ready to take full responsibility for. All this time, he was stupidly neglecting her out of spite for his father, but he broke her in the process. He's angry that he had to hear her crying to realize that. The only thing he can do now is hurry home to profusely apologize for what he's done and hope they can start over new and she forgives him, which he's prepared for her not to do.

Honestly, he deserves all the hate from her that he's shown her. After everything she's done for him and all the effort she's put into their imbalanced relationship, he wouldn't be surprised if she yelled at him and called him all sorts of names.

Shoto walks through the door, the atmosphere different. The house is quiet as usual, but it's more eerie than he remembers, as if that means anything with how aloof he was. He slips into the bedroom and changes quickly, returning back to the quiet dining room where his dinner waits for him at his place.

He tentatively sits and spares a quick glance at the girl who's supposed to be his wife. Her eyes are still puffy and she's tugging at her sleeves. It seems she's avoiding him and he was avoiding her before. He questions how things should start. When is the right time to speak his piece. Would she listen to him now? He decides to take a bite first and chews slowly. I guess a 'thank you' is a good place to start-

"We're getting a divorce."

He stops suddenly, almost choking.

"You don't owe me anything, and I don't want anything from you." She isn't looking at him, voice calm and collected. "Besides, it's better this way since it's what you wanted." She rises from her seat smoothly. "I've already packed for the next few nights. I'll have some workers come in the following weeks to clear out the rest, and the papers will be delivered promptly." Her footsteps recede from the room.

Shoto turns around to call out to her, and his minds comes up blank.

He never even bothered to remember her name.

Sequel?

Sequel!

#todoroki x reader #todoroki shouto #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #todoroki angst #todoroki imagine #todoroki scenario #female reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction

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lgbtqia-representation · 4 years ago

Text

Monogamous Trap

Monogamy is yet another game at people trying to continue the cycle of heteronormativity that sadly even the LGBTQIA community falls into the trap for. However, with powerful forces backing this idea ranging from religious doctrines to national laws, it is easy to understand why this entire realm of relationships is brandished.

Under the realm of non-monogamous relationships there are far more than most would like to acknowledge ranging from the number of partners to inherent rules. To start simply is the difference between “-somes” and polyamory. “Three- “, “four- “, etc. -somes are specifically used to reference the idea of an intercourse-based relationship that has little to do outside the bedroom. Pretty much any relationship that has aspects outside the bedroom is more likely to be referenced as a throuple or polyamorous relationship. There are obviously going to be people who do not use the “more standard” language so specifically asking someone about is the best bet in any situation.

Aside from just numbers there is also “attitude” towards the relationship. What I mean by this is whether it is “open” or “closed”, or perhaps somewhere in the middle. An open polyamorous relationship can have a few different concepts such as each individual partner can look for other partners or it might mean the relationship is open to adding new people to it. This concept might be hard to understand if you only view relationships as a line. Instead think about each individual letter in the alphabet and imagine those as ways to depict different relationship set ups, you might be getting close to the vast number of options out there.

Just based on all of that it almost becomes easier to understand why the community is so misunderstood. There is no guide nor clear idea of what any given relationship would look like. This is one of the big controversial issues as to why the community is not so accepted into LGBTQIA despite clearly being a sexual orientation. This community receives backlash from the queer community as well as from society itself, this is sadly one of the most outcasted sections. This even comes down to the fact that many within the community wonder if this should not be in the community because it should be its own category of identity, relationship style perhaps. In a way it is ironic that it is not considered its own category whereas when looking at the animal kingdom one of the earliest facts for any animal we learn about is what is its mating style- for life or season being one of the largest aspects to that question. So, if we analyze an animal's mating partners why are we so weird about humans having those same sorts of characteristics?

As I mentioned earlier, this could largely come down to the idea of laws and doctrines working to guide the perceptions of “normal” relationship styles. This is a concern for the whole of the LGBTQIA community and yet they cannot even find safety within that community. Despite same sex relationships being actively opposed in most religions, many within the relationships still actively practice, believe, or agree with the ideas presented in their previous religion. This is one of the reasons so many people think it is wrong. Other people completely misunderstand the fundamental concepts of a polyamorous relationship which is communication between all partners. Many people say that these sorts of relationships are simply an excuse to cheat on each other with no consequence. Whereas when examined and understood, these situations are heavily communicated about from beginning to end to ensure all partners are content and satisfied. If someone cheats, they are not protected by the polyamory umbrella if anything they disrupted the core values of the system.

One of my biggest struggles with this community is that lesbians and bisexuals are often overlooked in this community. There is a prevalence or assumption that only gays and straight women primarily operate these kinds of relationships. This dynamic is often turned into the idea that straight women simply want another guy or are willing to let their male partners experiment as opposed to women having this sexuality. Countless articles are written about why men should join a threesome at least once listing off all sorts of benefits, that I do agree with- but that are not dependent on sexual or gender identity. They included:

It forces you to work on jealousy issues.

It forces you to become a better communicator.

Can get different needs met by each partner.

Two heads are better than one (intellectually speaking)

Two Shoulders to cry on

Cuddling

Your family triples.

Your friend group expands exponentially.

You have an additional hand parenting.

The sex

(Zane)

On the other hand, Females simply looking into this community are deemed to be “sleeping with enemy” which erases the entire concept of a three women relationship, which is entirely possible. This also works to marginalize female bisexuals despite them being approximately 60% of the bisexual population.

This sadly more comes back to gay men being fetishized as well as being more accepted in society due to them being a larger percent from the beginning. Also, celebrity inclusion, with many stars and actors suddenly coming out as being part of throuple with two, if not three, males, exposure is distinctively increasing for them while women are seemingly at a standstill. Stars like, Frankie Grande, brother of pop sensation Ariana Grande, even publicly announced his participation in one of these relationships.

Frankie even comments on his own impact and inclusion in the community, “A lot of people come up to me and say, “Oh my God, you are in a throuple? I am in a throuple,” ‘the star said. ‘It’s been cool to see people do that as well. Love is love is love is love.’” (‘Love is Love’)

Women even in their sexual identities are still looking to be fully accepted and noticed. Only with time and strong efforts can this hopefully change.

In Netflix’s new show “Insatiable” is another mainstream media representation of polyamory which ironically very accurately depicts the plights within this realm. “During the season finale, Bob A. [left in the above picture] speaks about his poly relationship (at this point still intact), explaining how embracing his identity as a poly bisexual man makes him feel "loved completely" and fully "satisfied."” (Foreman) This was a wonderful depiction of what polyamory actively works to achieve, a balance between the partners that allows each of them to feel satisfied and safe within the relationship. In contrast, “Bob B. [right in the above picture] unexpectedly breaks up with them. He explains, "I didn't agree to a relationship. I just thought the three of us would have sex sometimes so she would not feel left out.”” (Foreman) Whereas this shows the darker side of it, where certain relationships/individuals do not understand the poly individual(s). This specific instance Bob B. Believes Bob A. to be completely gay, negating his bisexual identity, as well as preventing him from balancing the two relationships to at least meet his desires. This especially shown when the women (center of image) and non-polyamorous Bob (right) confront the bisexual and polyamorous Bob(left) into picking only one of them when it is clear throughout the entire series, he truly loves both.

Resources:

Barrett, Kim. “Does Polyamory Fall Under the LGBT+ Umbrella?” Medium, Polyamory Today, 25 Jan. 2020, medium.com/polyamory-today/polyamory-and-the-lgbt-community-3a8a52debbc3.

Foreman, Alison. “We Need to Talk about That Throuple in 'Insatiable'.” Mashable, Mashable, 20 Aug. 2018, mashable.com/article/insatiable-throuple/.

Lewis, Jessi, et al. “The Great Divide: Polyamory, 'Throuples' and the LGBTI Community.” Star Observer, 18 Dec. 2016, www.starobserver.com.au/features/in-depth-features/great-divide-polyamory-throuples-lgbti-community/154564.

Outmagazine. “10 Reasons Every Gay Man Should Try a Throuple Once.” OUT, 17 Oct. 2018, www.out.com/lifestyle/2018/10/17/10-reasons-every-gay-man-should-try-throuple-once#media-gallery-media-1.

Rosenblum, Karen Elaine, and Toni-Michelle Travis, editors. The Meaning of Difference. 5th ed., McGraw-Hill Education, 2008.

Tabberer, Jamie. “'Love Is Love': Frankie Grande Reveals All about His Three-Way Relationship.” Gay Star News, 23 Nov. 2018, www.gaystarnews.com/article/love-is-love-frankie-grande-reveals-all-about-his-three-way-relationship/.

Wandrei, Karin E. “'Sleeping with the Enemy': Non-Monogamy and 1970s Lesbian-Feminists - Karin E Wandrei, 2019.” SAGE Journals, journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1363460717750074.

Image:

“Polyamory Infinite Heart Love Honesty Communication Vinyl: Etsy: Polyamory, Polyamory Relationships, Polyamory Quotes.” Pinterest, www.pinterest.com/pin/144326363036694494/.

“Throuple.” Facebook, www.facebook.com/pages/category/Musician-Band/Throuple-645110832488889/.

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niuniente · 5 years ago

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GOD that entrapdak post is so on point!!! I hate that there's this standard that 'catra's choices were ok bc she's a lesbian so hooray!!! But all of Hordak's decisions were awful and he's awful and I guess it's ok he got a happy ending' aughhhh

EXACTLY. It is also genuinely a dangerous thing if people are put on a special, almost divine pedestal, with unconditional understanding while erasing all their humanity only because of their sexuality. It is dangerous to think that people are pure only based on their sexuality (or gender) same way as it’s dangerous to think people are evil based on these same things. This leaves, especially young ones, open for undetected abuse from minority group individuals. It’s really, really bad if we go, let’s say “This is a hetero man. He is always evil and is incapable of loving” VS “This is a gay man. He is always pure and fair and is incapable of hurting anyone”.

They are human. We all are human. We are flawed beings with our own weaknesses and burdens. If things go to a spot where we can’t call out someone for their bullshit and toxic behavior because of their gender, sexuality, age, race, nationality, status, religion etc. were are screwed and screw the upcoming generations, too. This “these groups are pure”-mentality can lead to situations where an individual takes and tolerated toxic shit from their partner/friend/family member/loved one/etc. without even daring to set boundaries and defend themselves because “but he/she/they is Z, all Zs are good/pure/misunderstood/hurt/need help/unloved so if he/she/they behave badly, it is somehow my fault and they are just hurting and I have to keep helping and understanding them even when it hurts me and breaks me”.

Always value and determine how the person is based on the whole individual, not only by their external factors. If someone is a man, he is not automatically abusing evil being. If someone is poly, they are not automatically a positive open minded individual. Don’t hesitate to step away from toxic people and call them out for their bullshit no matter who they are (there are good examples in She-Ra)

Then there are personal factors in a way that we vibe with some people and with some we don’t. That doesn’t automatically make the other person bad just because we don’t get them or they don’t get us. Automatic assumptions and labeling are dangerous, harmful and toxic.

Being minority of any type is not a frigging free pass to be shit freely towards others.

---------------

Back to what Noelle says, there’s contradiction: She first says that Entrapta taught Hordak love and they are happy together. Then she says that Hordak would hurt (and kill) Entrapta despite of this love. Hmmm, I think that, unfortunately, fits Catra more with her guest to have a revenge on Adora she loves from the bottom of her heart and is OK with killing her and the whole planet.

IF I RECALL RIGHT Molly and Noelle spoke about Entrapdak and they say that something like “We are lesbians, we don’t get this.” It’s very unfortunate to hear, even as a joke (because jokes often hide truth) as you don’t have to represent certain sexuality in order to understand what healthy and loving relationship is all about. SERIOUSLY YOU DON’T. No matter what your sexual orientation is, the healthy good relationship is based on the same things; mutual respect, mutual honoring, mutual love and care, mutual trust, mutual working together for the relationship, mutual humor and mutual desire to be together. This has nothing to do with what do you want to do in the bedroom (if anything) and who do you want to love and with who or with how many individuals you want to proceed towards with these things.

I’m not a poly myself, but an old fashioned demi monogamy person but the hell, of course I can understand what poly-amorous healthy relationship is based on! Of course I can understand how it’s important to someone who is poly and makes them happy even when I don’t feel any appeal to it nor I want to live in such a relationship myself. I have poly characters in my comics! It’s really not that hard.

Not everything needs to appeal to you in order for you to understand - or try to understand - and support it and those to whom it is very important.

#sory for the speech I seemed to have lots things to say #hordak #entrapta #spop #ask niu #Anonymous

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lynn-does-stuff · 5 years ago

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Hanahaki

An Afterdeath Oneshot

—————

Hanahaki

Hana- flowers

Hakimasu- To throw up

A Japanese myth disease that claimed if a person were to hide their feelings towards someone for too long, flowers would begin to grow in their lungs. They would then throw up/ cough up the flowers, starting with only a few petals until it got to large amounts of full flowers. By the time it reaches full flowers there would be little time left until they would die. There was no cure, other than the victim feeling loved in a romantic way by their crush. If the victim expressed their feelings and the other declined, the process would instantly speed up and would die in minutes. The victim can also choose to have the flowers removed through surgery, though many choose to suffer through it, due to the fact that the removal of the flowers often caused them to lose all feelings towards their crush. Sometimes it would completely erase any memories about their crush all together, or even erase any ability to love again.

————

Reaper floated carelessly into the Save Screen, home of the infamous "immortal" skeleton. The resident of this empty space was supposed to die a long time ago, but had somehow escaped DEATH itself. And when Reaper went to the Save Screen personally to dispose of him, he was shocked to find the character didn't dust after making physical contact with him. Reaper had never met a being that didn't die by his touch, so he was genuinely surprised, and almost hopeful. Maybe he could finally have someone close to him that he could do normal things with, instead of simply standing to the side and looking awkward.

Ah yes.. Geno..

Geno was the resident of this empty space. When Reaper found he couldn't kill Geno, he immediately decided to try and warm up the the glitched skeleton. He then proceeded to get a smack on the face and a stern lecture about how you shouldn't try to befriend the person you were just trying to kill.

That's what Reaper liked so much about Geno. His Tsundere attitude, his pouting, and of course, his overly bossy tone. And they did become friends. Good friends even. But.. Reaper wanted more. He really wanted more. But there was no way he could flat out tell Geno. That would just make their friendship incredibly awkward, and possibly even ruin it. Better to just stick with the simple flirting and frequent compliments.

This had been going on for about nine months..

Reaper's eyes widened as he saw Geno sitting in his usual spot, the area of grass and flowers, and then grinned at the evil idea forming in his head. He floated up silently behind Geno and took a breath, before exclaiming in a loud voice. "Heeeeeya Geno!"

Geno whipped his head around, eye flare burning, as he smacked Reaper across the face. He then realized who it was and diminished his eye flare and menacing look and instead equipped a more annoyed face.

"Reaper you idiot! Don't sneak up on me like that! My soul is weak enough as it is, I don't need jump scares like that to give me a soul attack!"

Reaper simply rubbed his face and chuckled, though he felt a small pain in his chest. It was short and quick, so he waved it aside as side effects of floating for too long. He slowly touched the ground in front of Geno and grinned.

"Good to see you too beautiful."

Geno frowned. "Again with the flirting? Come on, it gets old after a while. And it's not funny either!" Geno huffed and turned away, causing Reaper to laugh.

Reaper walked next to Geno and sat down. His friend reluctantly followed and sat next to him as well. Reaper looked over at Geno, taking in all of his features. His rounder cheeks, the glitches that covered his eye, the extremely faint red tint that was always on his face, there was so much to look at, Reaper soon found himself lost in his eyes. Geno soon glanced over and made eye contact with Reaper, causing him to frown again. "It's rude to stare you know!"

Reaper blushed slightly and turned his head away. There was that pang again. This one seemed slightly worse however. And it only softened, it didn't completely go away.

Reaper frowned at the sudden pain, losing his usual carefree grin. Geno looked over and noticed this. "What, can't take criticism? Jeez, your ego is immense."

Reaper felt the pain suddenly grow as he winced, but it soon toned down again. He replaced his frown with his usual grin and winked as he looked over at Geno. "Oh, it's nothing. Just thinking."

"What were you thinking about?"

Reaper was going to reply with a quick nothing, but he soon realized he could be flirty and possibly get his point across at the same time.

"You~"

Geno just got an angry look as he blushed slightly, before replying in a quite upset manner.

"Well stop thinking about me! It's weird! And dumb! Especially when there's so many other things to think about!"

Weird.

Dumb.

Geno thinks I'm weird and dumb..

Reaper suddenly burst out into a coughing fit. Geno scrambled away from him, yelling something along the lines of "Don't infect me with your stupid virus you weirdo". Reaper continued to cough until a singular golden petal fell from his mouth. His eyes widened as he quickly scrambled to grab it and shove it into his robe pocket. Geno hadn't seemed to notice.

"Are you very much done? I'd like to make sure I don't get the idiot virus."

Reaper's body suddenly went rigid as he slowly stood up. He coughed slightly before turning to Geno.

"Uh, sorry Geno, but I gotta go earlier today. My brother wanted help, and I've been putting off work for too long."

Geno looked surprised before going to his usual strict face. "Well, I don't remember inviting you, so you don't have to feel bad about leaving."

Reaper's chest felt like it was on fire.

He turned away and opened a portal to his AU, walking through, something he rarely does.

When he entered his room, he immediately sunk to the floor. He trembled slightly as his eye sockets widened.

"Oh god.. what am I gonna do?.."

————

It was about four days until Reaper visited Geno again, which was very out of character for his usual daily, sometimes even quick hourly visits. He casually floated into the Save Screen once more, though this time feeling slightly anxious. When he saw Geno sitting in the patch of flowers, he felt his soul flutter as he rushed to get closer. He was about to make the same entrance as the other day, but remembered how that went and decided to silently plop down next to Geno.

Geno was so lost in though that he didn't even realize Reaper arrived. But when he suddenly looked up and saw him sitting next to him, he yelped and jumped back a little. He then took on a confused yet strict face.

"Who are you and what have you done with Reaper?"

Reaper was a little confused by his statement. "I'm me?"

"No idiot! Reaper would've come here days ago, and proceeded to either scare me or flirt with me every time he arrived!"

Reaper was a bit taken aback by what he said, but simply grinned. "Well, what I did today scared ya, didn't it?"

Geno huffed and simply turned away, crossing his arms and muttering something along the lines of "stupid" and "no it didn't".

Reaper laughed but soon started choking and coughing once more. Again, Geno stepped away, but there was a slight flint of worry in his eyes.

"What's wrong asshole, something caught in you throat?"

Reaper continued his coughing fit for a while until three golden petals fell from his mouth. He quickly scooped them up and shoved them in his pocket, but too late. Geno noticed.

"Ew, flower petals? What were you doing, shoving those things up your throat?"

Reaper turned his head to Geno with a slightly panicked look in his eyes. "It's nothing."

"That wasn't the question dumbass."

"O-oh, right. Uhm.. yeah! I saw those flowers and thought it would be a good idea to eat some!"

Geno simply stared at Reaper with an unamused look before walking away. Reaper panicked, this is not going how he thought it would.

"Geno wait!" He called out, his voice sounding slightly weaker than before. He quickly stood up and followed behind Geno.

"I'm ignoring unintelligible beings who decide that shoving flowers up their throats is a perfect way to waste time at the moment, thank you."

Reaper continued to follow behind Geno, the pain in his chest increasing every second he was ignored.

Unloved..

Reaper suddenly stopped at his realization.

Geno doesn't love him. He never will. It's all simply a fantasy of hope and lies. Geno's made it quite obvious after all. How many times had he been called "dumbass", "idiot", "weirdo", "dickhead", and "asshole" in just the past month? It was obvious.

Reaper suddenly broke down into another fit of coughing, suddenly falling to his knees. He felt weak, incredibly weak. And the coughing wouldn't stop. Geno whipped his head around and rushed back to Reaper, now very worried for his friend.

"H-hey, are you good? Snap outta it Reaper!"

Geno started patting Reaper's back in an attempt to stop the coughing, but Reaper misunderstood it as more of Geno's slaps and coughed even more. It wasn't until a fistful of petals fell from his mouth that he stopped. Geno looked at Reaper with a cautious, yet judging look.

"Uh, that seems to be more than a few flowers shoved up your esophagus."

Reaper replied quickly in a dark tone, though his voice seemed somewhat strained. "N-no shit Sherlock."

Geno's eyes widened slightly. Reaper never talked like that to him. Now he knew something was up.

"What the hell is wrong with you Reaper?! You never act like this! What did you do?!"

Reaper just stared to the floor with empty eyes. He quickly spat out a few remaining flowers in his mouth and stood up. He kicked the petals aside and turned away. Geno watched as Reaper simply stood there for a few moments. Suddenly, Reaper seemed to look around frantically and stare at his hands. He kept bouncing up and down on his feet before eventually going on to full on jumping.

"Now what are you doing?" Geno gave him a questioning look. Reaper immediately stopped and whipped his head around, a panicked look plastered on his face.

"I can't float! I can't get off the ground!"

Geno was a little stricken before finding a way to get back at Reaper for all the teasing.

"Oh, well it looks like you'll have to walk like the rest of us mortals and deal with the inability to have god-like powers."

Reaper winced before bringing up his hand. Suddenly he seemed even more panicked. He waved his hand around, opened his eyes extremely wide like one does when their eye flares, and held out his hands like he was trying to grab something.

"I can't do anything!!"

Now Geno was worried. "What?.."

Reaper started yelling. "I can't summon my attacks, I can't summon my scythe, I can't activate my eye flare, I can't even teleport out of here!!"

Reaper suddenly broke down to the floor and stared at his hands. He spoke in a small, weak voice that seemed extremely strained. "I'm weak.. I'm powerless... I-I can't do anything..."

Geno suddenly rushed forward and wrapped his arms around Reaper. "H-hey, it's okay, it'll be fine!-"

"How could you still care..."

Geno suddenly sat up and stared at Reaper. "What do you mean?"

Reaper replied with a shaky, hesitant voice. "How could you still care for me... you've made it clear..."

"Stop the stupid mind games Reaper! Just tell me what's fucking wrong!"

"YOU HATE ME!"

Reaper began hacking up full flowers, chocking between breaths. The flowers continued to fall around them and in their laps as Reaper shook uncontrollably. "G-Gen-no-"

Geno backed away in horror at the scene. His eyes shrunk to small pinpricks as he took a shaky breath.

"W-what's happening to you R-Reaper?.."

Reaper chocked our words between coughs. "H-hana-ha-haki-!" Reaper coughed up another fistful of flowers.

Hanahaki... The name was familiar to Geno, but he couldn't seem to place it. "What the hell is Hanahaki?!"

Reaper's eyes went wide as the burning sensation returned in his chest, worse than ever. He knew.

He was out of time.

Reaper didn't want to do this, not like this, but he knew he had no choice. If he didn't, he would die.

"G-Geno!" Reaper choked out between flowers and coughs. "I-I l-love you!"

Geno's eyes went wide as blush dusted across his face. He loves me... Suddenly knowledge came flooding back to him. Hanahaki: The disease where people throw up flowers. The only cure is from the crush to show affection and show their love back.

His blush increased. Did he love Reaper?.. He enjoyed Reaper's company, and he hated it when he was feeling down and always wanted to make him feel better..

Geno was suddenly cut out of his thoughts when a shaky hand reached up towards his face. The words were small, shaky, and almost inaudible. "Please.."

Geno felt the pang in his chest. He gave in. He pushed away all doubts in his mind and pulled Reaper's face to his, closing the gap. He kissed him with all his might, allowing some magic to be forced in the kiss, truly expressing how much he cared. He wanted, no, he needed Reaper to know. He didn't care about the flowers, he just wanted to share this passionate moment.

When they finally pulled away after what seemed like eons, they stared into each other's eyes passionately, glimmering with love and happiness. Reaper stared in awe.

"Y-you.. you really.."

Geno smiled warmly at Reaper. "Yeah, I suppose you're not that much of a dork." Reaper shakily smiled with tears in his eyes before suddenly turning away and began coughing again. Geno panicked and gingerly wrapped his arms around Reaper.

"D-did it not work! I-I'm so sorry Reaper!!"

Reaper continued coughing, but they didn't seem so violent this time. He continued coughing until dead flowers fell from his mouth, and eventually the source of the disease itself- the dead plant. When the dead plant finally fell from his mouth, Reaper put a hand on his throat and looked up weakly with a smile.

"I'm cured.."

—————

Word Count: 2466

Eeeeeeeee I forgot about this thing so take my awful writing okay bye-

#lynn talks #lynn writes #afterdeath #geno x reaper #geno sans #reaper sans #hanahaki #hanahaki disease

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diaryofapandemic-blog · 5 years ago

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“to be loved is to be known”

*TW: sexual assault

It’s been five months and 10 days. I’m beginning to think that all these past few months have taught me is that no one can understand what I went through. I’m terrified that this means I will forever be misunderstood. It pains me to think about the day in February when I first came to that realization. I put a tab of acid on my tongue with my boyfriend and best friend, the two people I loved most in the world. As the drug moved through my system, the world began to change before my eyes in magnificent ways. Everything felt so warm. Everything carried light in an entirely new way. I felt everything, every texture, every temperature, every emotion. I wanted my friends to feel it all too. I didn’t realize no one else could see what I was seeing. And then I noticed my crystals placed on the windowsill of my bedroom, catching the early spring light. They were so beautiful I was intrigued by the energy they held. The moment I touched them I began to cry. I made the mistake of thinking back to the time I bought them and who I was back then. The drug made that horrible feel so significant. It broke my heart to revisit that memory, the memory of wanting so desperately for something to fix me that I relied on the healing powers of a hunk of rock. God, I was sad in that moment. I didn’t know whether to hide my tears or embrace them, but with my boyfriend right next to me, pretending I wasn’t crying wasn’t much of an option. He looked at me and asked me what was wrong and I knew I couldn’t say. I often think back to the moment I told him what happened to me, how it had only happened two nights before, how I had only known him for a few weeks and three dates when I said it, and how he told me weeks later he cried on the drive home after that night. Sometimes I worry he feels too deeply for me. Not that I don’t want him to love me, I love him. I just know that seeing me sad makes him sad, and I hate to do that to him. It must be hard to care so much about someone with a trauma like that, a trauma he couldn’t ever understand much. I know he wants to be able to support me through it, but just as it hurts for me to think about it, I think that it hurts him to be reminded of it as well. The difference is for me, thinking about it is unavoidable. The memory haunts me like nothing else, it’s inescapable, and so is the devastation it brings everytime the memory is recalled when I’m not prepared. What I wouldn’t give to be able to erase it completely away. What I wouldn’t give to be able to stop these bouts of sadness that leave me paralyzed, sobbing in my room every few weeks. I really do wish I could talk about these feelings with someone, but I always somehow convince myself that I only want to bring it up so that people feel bad for me and that I can get attention. Then I feel guilty for wanting to ask for support at all. I should be able to get through it on my own. That’s what the strongest people do. And I should strive to be strong. I should strive to not need anyone at all. This is what stops me from opening up anymore. I have a fear that one day the people I love will look back on the relationship we had and determine that I was toxic or treated them poorly. And I think this is where it stems from. With all that has happened, I am terrified of being a burden. I want so badly to be able to tell the people I love what I’m feeling, but if I ever do I feel so guilty. It’s an unavoidable feeling. I hate that guilt I feel so much. I know that they can’t solve what I’m going through. I know that. I know for myself that that is not why I want them to know how I’m feeling. But it still hurts when they tell me that they don’t know how to help me. It makes me feel like I am projecting too much of my pain onto them, that they don’t want to have to be there for me through this, that it’s hard for them to be friends with me because of it. I never want them to feel like I expect them to be able to fix me. I’m terrified that bringing up my trauma at all is emotional abuse. I don’t want to hurt anyone by trying to heal. But I don’t know how to heal and trying to heal all on my own is exhausting. I hate that I’m not strong enough for that. Sometimes I just want comfort. Sometimes I just want someone to be able to say this didn’t ruin you and one day you will see that, and not in a way that makes me feel like I shouldn’t feel the way I’m feeling. Sometimes I just need something to happen that will give me hope that there will be an end to all of this. That one day I will be able to accept what happened to me. And I need that to come from someone who knew me before it all happened, who knew who I was and has faith that I can return to being myself. When I’m crying late at night while my boyfriend is in my bed next to me, I don’t want to feel like I need to hide my tears from him, save him the pain and get through it on my own. But I don’t know how to communicate any of these feelings. It makes me feel awful to know that I’ve made anyone sad by what happened to me. Sometimes I worry that knowing what happened to me at all was devastating enough to the people in my life, they don’t need to know the aftermath of how it continues to hurt me. All I want is for the people I love to know that this is still raw for me, that I’m still suffering from it, that I’m still not myself yet. Part of this is to protect myself so people know it’s still a sensitive subject, but more than that I feel like if I don’t share that I’m struggling it feels like I’m shutting them out. Trying to hide my episodes makes me feel like I’m lying to the people I love, that I’m preventing them from fully knowing me. Sometimes I feel like the people I love don’t know me at all. They might say they love me but that’s only because they don’t really know me, or at least they don’t really know who I’ve become. I desperately want to feel understood, but I carry something so heavy, so unimaginable, something that is so hard to comprehend. Can you really feel loved if you don’t feel understood? I’m beginning to believe you can’t. One of my first reactions to being r*ped was an overwhelming feeling that what happened to me had ruined me in ways that made me unlovable. I was able to convince myself in the months following that these thoughts were irrational, but revisiting them months later I’m beginning to think I was right. I need to accept that no one will understand, and give up on the desire to feel known. I cannot be known, therefore I cannot be loved. I cannot escape that. Maybe I should just be alone for a while.

#diary #journal #recovery #survivorsupport #mental health #survivor strong

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nadziejastar · 6 years ago

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Isa’s TRUE Personality: Pisces

Pisces Personality Traits

“Cool, collected, and mature beyond his age. He’s good friends with Lea.”

Saïx has a weapon called Twilight, which is shaped like a trident, the symbol of Neptune. Neptune is the ruling planet of the zodiac sign of Pisces. Pisces is the 12th, and last astrological sign in the zodiac. This means, it is one of the oldest and most wise signs. Pisces tend to be considered “old souls” and act much older than their age. The typical Pisces is an an extraordinary creature whose ideas and philosophies are wise beyond their years. Yet on the surface, like water in a lake, you'd never suspect how deep those waters run.

Driven by its strong connection to the spiritual world, this sign knows how to balance cold, hard reality with the warmth of love and understanding. Pisces feel a great deal, and they also feel misunderstood much of the time. They’re not quite pushovers, but they’re certainly sensitive. They are compassionate, easily feeling another’s pain.

Joshua: “Imagine my surprise when I realized dreams take bodily form in this world. It struck me--by linking their dream pieces back together, maybe I could make them exist again. Maybe I could give them another chance.”

Riku: “It can't be that simple.”

Joshua: “Well, why can't it? By ourselves, we're no one. It's when other people look at us and see someone--that's the moment we each start to exist. All they needed was for someone to see them, connect with them.”

At times, however, Pisceans can have difficulty distinguishing fact from fantasy; they tend to get caught up in their ideals of how things should be. Pisces see the world through rose-tinted glasses. This perspective casts a dreamy gauziness on their words and actions that can be quite attractive to others. They place great weight on what they are feeling. Emotions define the Pisces zodiac sign, and it’s not uncommon for them to feel their own burdens (and joys) as well as those of others. The intuition of the Pisces-born is highly evolved. Many people associate Pisces with dreams and secrets, and it’s a fair association, since those born under this sign feel comfortable in an illusory world.

Pisces: Twilight

“As the seasons converge and change, the last dregs of winter mix with the first blush of spring. Breath still curdles in the air, but pale green shoots start to unfold from the soil. This sense of “in-betweenness” is the essence of the Pisces star sign.

It’s the time of day when both the sun and moon are visible, the magic of twilight, and an unwavering trust in the Universe. As the last sign of the zodiac, you’re born with an innate sense of wisdom that takes the rest of us a lifetime—or lifetimes—to accumulate.”

Twilight is the time of day that Pisces is associated with symbolically. It's the last sign of the zodiac. It implies the end of one cycle and the beginning of another. Hence it has been said that it signifies ‘rebirth of matter after death’. It carries the same meaning as the waning crescent moon on Isa’s jacket, and the sunset of Twilight Town. Pisces denotes the final moment which contains within itself the beginning of the new cycle. It’s the time of being in-between.

Isa---“A quiet and cool-headed youth. Though he does come out of his shell when talking to his best friend Lea, toward others he is distant and untalkative.”

Pisces are generally gentle, easy-going folk, who are on the shy and reticent side. They are filled with so much compassion and empathy, they often put others’ needs before their own. The willingness of personal sacrifice is one of their major characteristics. They are remarkably wise and self-sacrificing when it comes to helping the vulnerable or those down on their luck. Hands down, they are the most selfless sign in the Zodiac. Ruled by Neptune, Pisces is intuitive and incredibly creative by nature. With a soul as deep and vast as the oceans, Pisces thrives in a world of fantasy, where its imagination can flow freely.

Axel: “Go on, you just keep running. But I'll always be there to bring you back!”

On the down side, they get hurt and demoralized very easily. While it's very true that Pisces' can count kindness as one of their greatest assets, their desire to escape becomes prevalent when the going gets rough. Water, like any other element, is filled with power. Further, water can be calm and placid, or stormy and destructive. Pisces often embodies both these characteristics. Neptune also rules all forms of escapism. If Pisces can steer clear of the pull of escapism while embracing their inner truths, they'll be quite successful in life.

Even with all the talent and resources they possess, their low self-esteem becomes a hindrance in their path. Pisces tend to be oversensitive. They take everything to heart and become emotional in the extremes. They tend to look at the negative side more than the positive side of things. Cancer and Pisces are considered the top two most emotional zodiac signs. I think this capacity for such emotional extremes is why Isa was considered such a good potential vessel for one of the 13 Seekers of Darkness.

Pisces’ Color: Light Green

Naminé: “Some people think pain is something you can just wipe away--and sometimes, maybe, you can. But not all pain can be erased. The only way to deal with it is to accept it head-on. And if the hurt is too great for you to bear it alone--well, then you turn to a friend close to your heart.”

Sora: “Because the hurt will bring us closer together, and make us stronger.”

Unlike Saïx, Isa’s natural eye color is light green. The mystical and magical nature of Pisces is enhanced by the lightest tints of green. As the color of life, light green represents renewal and inspiration, encouraging the healing and rejuvenating energies that Pisces is known for. The softer the green, the more Piscean it becomes.

♆ is the symbol of the trident of Neptune, or Poseidon. Ψ is the Greek letter psi, which is used as a symbol for psychology, psychiatry and pharmacology. It’s also where the name Poseidon comes from. Our word “psyche” is derived from the Greek word “psuche”, a word beginning with the letter psi. Translated, it means “a person’s heart and/or soul”. And this weapon has a prominent Recusant’s Sigil on it. Isa definitely needed healing.

Pisces’ Symbol: The Fish

Axel: “Well, I think you can be inseparable, even if you’re apart. It’s like, if you feel really close to each other. Like best friends.”

The zodiac sign Pisces is embodied by two Fish, and its glyph represents an image of these Fish, linked together for eternity. It’s important to know that it is not just one Fish, but two. They are a representation of Pisces’ ability to exist simultaneously in both a conscious and subconscious world. As the last sign of the zodiac, Pisces is also connected to the idea of cycles – that every ending is a new beginning – which is represented by the two Fish swimming in opposite directions.

There's a persistent rumor among astrologers that you can always spot Pisces' by their crossed legs, even if they're standing. Like many clichés this one has a grain of truth in it. Perhaps this is because Pisces' symbol, two fish tied by an invisible cord as they swim in opposite directions, is being expressed.

Isa---“Often scolds Lea, who has an opposite (though complementary) personality.”

The fact that two fish (as opposed to one) represent the members of this sign also speaks to the duality of Pisces, and their yin and yang sensibility. The last sign of the zodiac embodies the idea that the world is created by opposite energies that complement and balance one another. Pisces is the living embodiment of yin and yang.

The story behind the fish is that one day, Typhon happened to see Venus, the goddess of beauty and her son Cupid, the god of love on the banks of a river. To escape from his clutches, Venus and Cupid turned into fish and swam into the depths of the river. They had tied their tails together so they would not be separated. In the river, they were saved by other fish, who were later hung in the sky as a token of gratitude. This was done to commemorate the day when the goddess of beauty and god of love were saved from being destroyed.

Pisces’ Ruling Planet: Neptune

Yen Sid: “In the Sleeping Worlds, real time does not flow. Unless one restores the world by waking it from its slumber, it will stay locked in a dream forever.”

The Third Eye chakra, located on the forehead, is ruled by Neptune. Fantastical and dreamy Neptune rules over the zodiac sign Pisces. It is the planet of our subconscious minds, influencing our dreams and fantasies, our imaginations, hopes, beliefs and our connection to spirituality. Those of the Pisces horoscope sign alternate between reality and non-reality in keeping with their introspective natures; their voyage between consciousness and an unconscious dream state says much about their intuitive, almost psychic natures.

In Roman mythology Neptune is the God of the Sea, and the planet Neptune’s influence is just like the vast, flowing, nebulousness of the ocean. The currents of Neptune allow Pisces to swim through a neverending world of dreams, imagination and spirituality where anything is possible. Neptune represents the invisible web that supports us when we let go of control and trust that we cannot fall out of the universe. It’s like falling asleep or floating in water.

Among the 12 Zodiac signs, there is one specific sign in which a planet functions at its optimum. This is called its sign of “Exaltation.” Venus exalted in Pisces. Venus signifies our aspiration to beauty and truth through which we can realize the power of infinite love beyond our senses and pleasure that is the love of God, or realization of the God within ourselves.

The Rabbit’s Personality

Mystery Gear: "A weapon that draws forth its wielder's personality."

Pisces is a sign of self-sacrifice, giving oneself over to the larger whole. The Rabbit in the Chinese Zodiac is the equivalent to Pisces in the Western Zodiac. The Rabbit is associated with new beginnings, and symbolizes character traits such as creativity, compassion, and sensitivity. Their sensitive nature makes them shy away from aggressive or competitive situations. They keep a modest attitude and maintain a pleasant relationship to people around. Rabbits are introverts and emotional.

While they enjoy the quiet life and artistic pursuits, they are also very cunning. You'd never guess that they were strong willed. They tend to get their way through kindness. They are friendly and easy to get along with. They rarely get into serious trouble. They are discreet and usually land on their feet. Rabbits may appear detached, but it is their way of protecting themselves from harm. They can be rather moody at times. They can be rather opportunistic, but are easy to take advantage of.

The Chinese Rabbit is popular and shy. Rabbits are compassionate and protective of their inner circle of family and friends. They are rather delicate, and in order to thrive they need a supportive base behind them. Without sufficient support, they tend to fall apart during times of conflict. Emotional disruptions can actually cause them to become physically ill. They don't like arguments and conflict. They may become pessimistic and depressed. The desire for remaining in safe, comfortable environments keeps Rabbits from taking risks which sometimes causes them to miss out on good opportunities.

Isa---“A serene and self-possessed boy who always has time for a quick quip at his best friend Lea's expense.”

Rabbits usually have soft and tender personality traits, and their serene nature keeps them from becoming visibly upset. They will not be irritated easily, and they also avoid quarrels and conflict as much as possible. The Rabbit is intelligent and compassionate, but also can be timid and afraid of change. Everywhere they go they create peace for others, but compromise their own inner harmony with sudden mood changes and fear. Rabbits are full of heart and love to take care of the wounded body, heart and soul -- they are gentle and kind. Rabbits can speak eloquently and knowledgably about many things. Their interests are wide-ranging and global. They can be generous to a fault -- a Rabbit would give away his or her last penny to someone in need. Rabbits can be very successful as long as they keep their fears in check.

They love everything and everyone, but self-love is a challenge for them. You may think you know a Rabbit, but it’s very hard to find out how they really feel, as they are so discreet about their true thoughts and feelings. They feel vulnerable when others know too much about their private life. If you have a Rabbit friend, make sure you honor his or her heart. Chinese Rabbits tend to move through life at their own pace, no matter what anyone else thinks. They are lucky and have long lives. They are very gracious and are natural diplomats.

Those born in the year of the Chinese Rabbit tend to stifle their feelings inside. They are very loving and giving in relationships. Rabbits may have unrealistic views of how a relationship should be, and when one ends they can be devastated. It takes them a long time to recover. The need a partner who won't take advantage of them. When they find the right partner, the relationship is very strong. They love company and love having someone special even more. They are romantic, and prefer to act in more indirect methods.

Pisces’ Tarot Card: The Moon

Luna Diviner---“Second in command who longs for the heart he does not have. Only the moon breaks his icy calm.”

The Moon, in all its mystical and idealistic wonder, is the Tarot card of Pisces. The Moon card represents our ability to rely on our instincts and intuitions, while Pisces is known as the most intuitive sign of the zodiac. Just as we live by the cycles of the Moon, The Moon Tarot card encourages Pisces to go with the flow of nature, instead of swimming against its currents.

A sensitive Water sign, Pisces is represented by two Fish, earning the nickname, “the Fishes with wishes” because of their powerful imagination and creative spirit. If you’re looking for kindness and empathy, Pisces is THE most compassionate sign of the zodiac. Pisces rules the 12th House of Privacy, Escape, and Secrets. In addition to being a Water sign, Pisces is ruled by the planet Neptune, also known as the God of the Sea. The dreamy little fish are spiritual and intuitive, with Pisces being the most psychic sign of all.

The Moon is a symbol of dreams, intuition, higher consciousness, and spiritual wisdom. The dews represent human thoughts and also stand for peace and calmness. While the crayfish reflects emotional needs and desires, the pond symbolizes unconscious mind. The towers refer to the two sides of the brain, and the path in the middle with its twists and turns shows that the mind prefers being controlled by instincts rather than intellect. The wolf and the dog represent fear of the mind when facing an unknown situation.

Pisces and the Moon

Fairy Godmother: “Strong rays of sun create dark shadows. Light and dark go hand in hand. You can't have one without the other.”

Like Pisces, The Moon card is associated with the subconscious and often highlights idealism – suggesting that things are not as they may appear. The Moon card also represents our secretive side or “shadow self”. The dog and the wolf in this card represent how our wild side blends with our tame side. This recurring theme of unity can also be found in the towers. They symbolize the practical life that most of us lead, while the path between them reminds us of the more meaningful life that we desire.

This is very true to the nature of Pisces, who are always dreaming of something more fantastic than what is actually in front of them. The water on The Moon card symbolizes the subconscious. The crustacean emerging from the water represents “coming into consciousness” and the possession of psychic abilities, which is often true of those born under Pisces.

Neptune’s Tarot Card: The Hanged Man

Ansem: “So many are still waiting for their new beginning, their birth by sleep. Even me...and even you.”

Many decks associate The Hanged Man with the zodiac sign Pisces (a mutable Water sign), ruled by Neptune (planet of mystery, illusion, imagination, and mysticism). The card in Tarot symbolizes trial or meditation, selflessness, and sacrifice. When the Hanged Man card is upright in a Tarot reading, it symbolizes suspension, change, reversal, sacrifice, readjustment, improvement, and rebirth. The card means it is time to stop resisting and gain illumination. It is the time for reflection before moving on. No matter what's going on in your life, you can right the ship and keep moving forward.

Pisces is the 12th sign of the zodiac, and is known for being sensitive, compassionate, spiritual, and non-materialistic -- but also prone to confusion, alcohol and drug addiction, mental illness or breakdown, self-delusion, self-escapism through drugs, fantasy, and illusion. In The Hanged Man, unconditional love is needed to balance out intuition and sensitivity with discipline and logic.

Axel: “Hey, Roxas. Bet you don't know why the sun sets red. You see, light is made up of lots of colors. And out of all those colors, red is the one that travels the farthest.”

Pisces represents "loss to the outer world, solution, and handing over the results of one cycle to the following one.” Here we face "the things which we have not yet mastered and those whom we have failed to understand or who have failed to understand us.” The card is seen to represent "sacrifice, release, acceptance, temporary abeyance or pause, emotional losses, and ending attachments to worldly, material goods." When ill-dignified, The Hanged Man can suggest "meaningless sacrifice, rejection of spiritual values, and confusion caused by mental illness, especially severe depression."

Through the process of suspension the Hanged Man turns his focus towards the unconscious and experiences Neptune rising out of his watery kingdom. Neptune reminds us that remaining attached to old patterns, habits, or addictions perpetuates the endless cycle of martyrdom and victimization.

Pisces’ Ruling House: 12th House of Subconscious

Sora: “The light in the darkness. It was you. You’re the one who kept me from fading away.”

Kairi: “All I did was believe that you wouldn’t.”

The 12th House of Subconscious is ruled by Pisces, the 12th sign of the zodiac. The 12th house represents your connection to spirituality, the deep and personal emotions you feel, and the openness of your heart. It is the reposit of humanity's deepest fears and governs the primordial waters it swims in before the first breath of life. It is also the house of secrets. Pisces’ understanding of quiet contemplation and emotional speculation is heavily reflected in the 12th House of Subconscious. This house is all about taking time for healing and rejuvenation before beginning anew.

Pisces’ Element: Water

Yen Sid: “He needs you to believe. You see, Ventus's heart hangs in the balance. It sleeps in the place between light and darkness. From all I can perceive, that means he will be looking for a friend--one who believes in him, to show him the way home. Just as long as you love him...then Ventus will be able to find you when he wakes. He can follow that love back to where he belongs-- the realm of light.”

The element of Water flows through Pisces as a wave of devoted empathy and intuition. The Water element is all about our emotions, and Pisces is known for its deeply sensitive and spiritual connection to its own feelings, and the feelings of others. As large as the ocean, Pisces' heart is capable of expressing infinite compassion and love toward all beings. Without a doubt, the Water element is the most sensitive and intuitive.

This element is capable of nourishing our soul through a deep, psychic understanding of what makes us operate. The element of Water is in touch with the source of creation and can sense that we, too, are a part of this divine birthplace. Water signs are incredibly empathic and can feel the emotions of others. Water can also drown in another person’s emotional abyss if not careful because water has no boundaries. It soaks into us. The element of Water can conform to the elements around it. When mixed with fire it creates steam, with earth it creates mud and with air it creates rain.

#kingdom hearts #kh #kh meta #kh isa #kh leaisa #akusai #leaisa #isalea

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