#he'll help raise them but he'll complain about it the entire time

[mrsthunderkin]

Its not the first time Atlas has raised kids, but it IS his first time raising Tieflings.

He's less than thrilled.

Trinket and Bauble belong to @owlcatchyoul8r

[bunnys-kisses]

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ i like my men older - simon riley♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

you knew that your friends from school raised an eyebrow when you told them that you were dating a man almost double your age. you were in your twenties, while this 'simon' guy was close to fifty. you told them that he was an army man who had a gooey center for you.

your friends could see the upgrade in your laptop and the new knapsack with a logo that proclaimed it was expensive. the small chain around your neck with a 's' on it that you toyed with when they asked questions about him.

you looked happy, healthier even! you weren't eating minute meals and surviving off of black coffee. there was a little roundness to your cheeks now and you looked more alive. a glow to you that wasn't that while you trudged through your graduate program. so honestly, how could they complain?

if you had a glow to you, it was because you were often fucked out. most women your age through that dating an older man would mean having to go slow. be patient about technical difficulties regarding their cocks. that was what you expected from a man that old. especially one with aches and pains like simon. your poor si, he had been in the military his entire life. barely had the touch of a woman during that time! poor guy! of course you'll teach him all the ways a woman should please a man. the first time you ran your tongue on the underside of his cock he cam all over your head, and while you whined. it made you crazy hot. fucking simon was like fucking a live wire. he hadn't slowed down with age. he fucked like a stallion in breeding season. and he loved when he pulled his heavy cock into you. you once told him that he could be a cervix breaker. and he simply said, "well, if i break it... i can't breed it." which made you go slack jaw for a moment before he continued to rut up against you. you didn't expect a man of his age to have a breeding kink.

you practically begged your doctor to give you birth control, because he was not buying condoms. "don't fit in 'em, lovie." he said as he patted his clothed cock when you started dating. you knew that was impossible, condoms could fit a lot of things and while simon was fairly big. he could fit in a condom. but, no. when you tried to put them on yourself, he simply took it off, tossed it to the side and pinned you under his heavy weight. legs in the air as he rutted against you like a hungry animal.

he was so much bigger than you. wide shoulders, strong thighs and a bit of a gut to keep you folded under him. there was a masculine heft to him. he was strong, picking you up was easy to him even when you tried to tell him your weight. one time he gripped you by the waist with one arm and moved you out of the way. you kicked and squeaked as you were moved. but to simon it was easy as lifting heavy equipment. but that softness to some of his muscles really got you hot all over. it didn't help that part of your role as his girlfriend was to make sure that your man was fed. you cooked him meals and he over devoured in your sweet dessert. he loved you in an apron. all domestic and sweet for him. you were real wifey material. could easily be cooking meals for him and the kids in a few years. you can have a graduate degree and a few riley babies. "look good cookin' for me, darlin'. know how to make a proper meal for your man." you wouldn't admit but his words excited you.

simon can be a little... chauvinistic. it was just his age. while he respected female colleagues in the military and was beyond happy that you were getting your degree. he'd do things for you that you could clearly do on your own. like when you tried to fix the leaky tap in your flat. or when you try to carry all the groceries inside. yes, darling, you're a strong woman. but let him take over. take care of you. that was what a man did right? he'll cut the onions for you and try to fix your buggy wi-fi connection. he's pay for dinner every time and even get you dessert after. he'd wipe your face clear of the sweet treat you'd have. "don't ask her anything too difficult, johnny. she doesn't need to be thinkin' too hard." he once said with his hands over your ears and glared at his teammate. which only made the scotsman laugh. simon didn't mind if he had to take over. he'd never pull the rug out from under you, even when you were under him. you looked prettier under him, letting him take charge of your fucking. he took care of his girl, even when you whined and told him you were capable. there was no need to whine. simon needed to take care of his much smaller, much weaker baby girl. no need to break a nail trying to do stuff that simon could easily do for you.

even with the grey in his blond hair, he still kept up to you. there were times that you were too exhausted from day-to-day that you let simon rut between your thighs until he covered your round ass with his hot cum. you'd whimper which would turn into a yelp when he easily slipped his heavy cock into your sweet pussy. where it belonged. he fucked you heavily as his cum coated your behind, even trailing down your sloped back as you had your head in the covers.

"don't spill a drop off that pretty ass, baby girl. or else i'd might have to mark you again." thank god you liked your men older. <3

[ilylovelyz]

papa!atsumu who proves time and time again that he's a huge sucker for his precious family.

the pregnancy of his girlfriend (you), was unplanned and somewhat expected, being atsumu have not been being safe with you for the past few weeks.

the two of you were young, barely even 25, you had thought that atsumu would be against it, wanting independence and that delicious feeling of no baggage.

and yet, when he found out you were pregnant, he was over the moon.

it was almost surprising, best care scenario was him saying, "oh cool," — you didn't expect him to scoop you into his arms bridal style and kiss you all over.

it seemed he loved the idea of being a father, and especially being the father to your children, his adorable highschool sweetheart.

he was quick to tell his brother first, and then the rest of his family, and whichever close friends he had, nonstop yapping about how he was gonna be a dad, and how he's gonna have such cute kids.

he immediately brings up the idea of getting married to you, it wasn't a foreign topic for the both of you, it was just something the two of you never got around to doing.

he didn't mind it he had to elope and have a small get together, he just wanted to see you have his last name, liking the way it rolled off his tongue, "miya y/n."

during your entire pregnancy, he was nonstop hovering and touching your stomach, getting excited whenever he felt the baby's kick.

it almost seemed he talked to the baby more than he talked to you at some point, either rambling on about his day or crap-talking his own brother.

it was almost refreshing, to see a new side of this once carefree guy.

now, he was wanting to spend more time with you at home, sometimes skipping practice just to be with you, saying that he'll just "practice from home."

he just wanted to lay his head into your lap, his arms wrapped around your waist as he whispered sweet nothings to your unborn baby.

it was almost endearing to see him become especially 10x more protective of you, giving a death glare to anyone that came too close to you. never failed to say how amazing you looked pregnant with his baby.

while he wasn't sure what he wanted to name the baby, he just knew he wanted it to sound "cool".

god, you wish you took a picture of the look on his face when you told him you weren't just having one baby, but two. you thought maybe that fact would get him scared, but once again, you were proven wrong.

"two for the price of one, how cool," he would say, his hand cradling his chin as he thought.

"atsumu, that's not how it works.."

he wanted both a girl and a boy, a girl because he liked the idea of a mini you, and a boy just so he would do "boy" things with.

he did look a little nervous when it was revealed you were having two girls instead.

your pregnancy cravings made him do a double-take, but he would always end up watching you with his arms crossed, an eyebrow raised with shock at whatever concoction you made.

he was almost late for the birth.

he frantically cursed at whoever was in his way while speeding on the way to the hospital, cursing the damn geezers who were still for some reason driving like they were in slow motion.

he felt really mad at himself for being late to the labor, kissing your sweaty forehead as he mumbled promises against your skin, promising to make it up to you later.

he was really supportive during the birth, his hand never leaving yours, yelling bouts of encouragement and never once complained when your grip became a little too tight for his liking because if anything, he was impressed at your strength.

he couldn't help but shed a tear or two when he first held his baby-girls.

how precious, maybe a little alien looking, but still precious.

he cursed to hell, cheekily making a comment about how someone must've been cutting onions.

absolutely adored his girls, showing them off to anyone who had working eyes. nothing made him happier than when they giggled at the silly faces he would make.

as they got older, their preference for their father showed greatly, and atsumu knew this very well, making a snide comment or two about how he was the "favorite".

the carefree man you once knew was gone, now being replaced with this protective and almost anxious guy who cried when his daughters first went to daycare.

your daughters for sure took after their father in many ways, as they somehow inherited their father's sassy attitude and confidence.

it never failed to make you laugh when atsumu was being mercilessly ganged up on by two toddlers, taunting him ruthlessly.

he'd try his best to counter their sassiness, but would ultimately find himself "wondering" where they got this attitude from.

oh, how he loved his daughters greatly, even when they were bullying him until he was red in the face, even when they were nasty and sick and borderline contagious with whatever illness they had.

he adored his daughters, never wanting to waste a single moment away from them. cuddle time was a special time to him, one on either side of him as they all drifted to sleep, disney movie long forgotten.

no, he'd never fail to say it, nor would he ever shy away from the fact that he's a proud father to his precious baby-girls.

[eggcats]

Radiostatic fic, where when Vox is watching the hotel prepare for the Extermination and is like “they're going to FIGHT?!” he (internally) freaks out and decides to use the opportunity to try to get a deal out of the princess of hell himself. After all, he has the tech to fight - Angelic Security - it'd be remiss of him to not offer it to the princess and raise his status over that old timey prick!

–

“Vox, you of all people know that Angelic Security shit is a scam. Get your ass back in the chair.”

“Nonsense, Velvette! It's simply…untested. And what better way to beta test its worth than by using it against a direct assault from heaven?”

“If you die, I'm taking your room.”

–

So he goes over to the hotel to offer his help.

(Vaggie tries to stab him when he asks for a deal in exchange, and he doesn't know why he's so desperate to help, so he decides to offer it free of charge).

Alastor tries to veto it entirely, citing how all of his technology is both flashy and useless, but he's outvoted by Charlie. (She doesn't trust Vox, nor does she believe in his tech, but she's not in any position to not accept help where she can get it - at worst, she figures it doesn't work and Vox abandons them).

Alastor and him ignore one another to the best of their abilities - they're both too busy (and stressed) to even really bother with their normal hostilities. The most they do are just a few snarky lines whenever they cross paths, but overall it's fine. (Vox will absolutely not admit to himself that it's kind of nice to not be at each other's throats, for once. They've even had to work together once or twice).

So now Vox is struggling to help the hotel with the oncoming assault, and convinces himself that he'll be long gone before any real danger arrives - he's only here on the off chance they survive to up the status of the Vees. (Totally no other reason).

Except. He doesn't leave the night before, and surprises even himself by showing up ready for the fight.

And the fight actually seems to be going really well! (Vox refuses to acknowledge being impressed by Alastor’s shield, even to himself).

But then. Not too long after the shield breaks, Adam appears. And Vox doesn't understand why he feels like his heart has stopped for the second time. He does his best to ignore it, but then Adam effortlessly kills Pentious and all he can think about is the same thing happening to Alastor.

(He can't die like that loser, I'm the only one allowed to kill him! There's no way that pretentious angelic prick took him down!)

When Lucifer finally arrives to take down Adam, Vox disappears. He will find Alastor, because no one but him is allowed to kill him. He refuses.

Vox finds where Alastor was injured, but with him not being there Vox knows there's only one place he'd go - his radio tower. And he's right! He finds Alastor, alive! (Vox does not admit, even to himself, the blatant relief that goes through him).

Alastor does his best to defend himself, assuming that Vox is there to end him. However, Alastor is barely functioning and despite his best efforts, Vox isn't deterred.

–

“I'm here to help you, asshole! Let me see that injury so we can fix it, and then we can try to kill each other!”

–

Vox refuses to take no for an answer, and does stitch up Alastor's injury. (Vox cannot believe Alastor even survived it).

He succeeds in closing his wound, and ends up looking like he's lost a fight to a badger - covered in scratch and bite wounds. Vox complains about it the entire time, but he's secretly relieved Alastor is alive enough to not take his help lying down.

Anyway, after his help, Alastor finally gets himself ready to return to the hotel. (When he first stands up, he falters and tries to catch himself with his staff - obviously it fails with it broken - and Vox catches him instead. They refuse to look at each other as Vox helps Alastor leave his radio tower and walk back to the hotel).

It's not until Alastor asks Vox how long before he can expect to be on the news that Vox realizes he has no intention of letting anyone know that Alastor is injured. (Alastor obviously doesn't believe him, but Vox does keep quiet about it. He doesn't even tell Charlie when Alastor does his best to keep it from her, as well).

It's not until they arrive with the brand new hotel, Lucifer being present, and everyone recovering after the failed Extermination, that Vox realizes he intends on staying at the hotel, even without his original excuse.

(He needs to make sure Alastor recovers, after all).

[lanawinterscigarettes]

I see the post about the Master(s) caring for a sick reader and raise you: reader having to care for sick Master(s)

if you think they're a lot to handle before just wait until they have the timelord equivalent of the flu kicking their ass

The reader taking care of the Masters when they're sick

Characters included: Simm, Missy/Gomez, and Dhawan

Warnings: being sick (obviously), pretty sure that's it

Simm! Master

He's not sick, he can't be sick. He's a Timelord, and Timelords don't get sick

That's what he insisted to you over and over again, but it was a bit hard to take him seriously with how nasally and congested he sounded

At first he wants you to leave him alone (because he's not sick, thank you very much) but once it becomes clear whatever he's got isn't going away anytime soon he very begrudingly allows you to care for him

Acts like he wants to be left alone but then whines very loudly if you're gone for too long, so you're basically stuck watching him the entire time

He has terrible manners in general, which are made even worse when he doesn't feel good, so don't expect him to say please or thank you unless you press him for it

Complains about something every two minutes without fail. He's cold, so you get him a blanket. Then he throws it off because he's hot. Then he gets cold again and needs you to tuck him back in

Eventually you get tired of listening to him whine so you put on The Teletubbies in hopes that'll distract him long enough for you to sneak away and get some peace and quiet. When you return a half hour later, he's passed out in bed, sleeping peacefully while the TV continues to play in the background

Missy/Gomez! Master

She would also refuse to believe that she's sick at first, but it takes her much quicker to cave and accept your treatment

Wants to be pampered and treated like the sophisticated Timelady that she is, meaning she fully expects to be waited on hand and foot for the entirety of her illness

Such a drama queen, honestly. You so much as suggest she blow her own nose and she goes on this long rant about how she can't believe you're making her do something while she's sick, and she's much too weak and helpless to care for herself, and don't you love her?

If it works it's only because you want her to shut up (despite how nice her voice sounds, I imagine it must get to be quite tiring to hear her do nothing but whine)

After awhile she gets bored of laying around and doing nothing (despite you being there to take care of her) so she tries to sneak off and cause some trouble, hoping you won't notice

Unfortunately for her, you'd gotten used to hearing her call out your name every couple of minutes and soon grow suspicious when she doesn't. She doesn't make it far before you catch her and usher her back to bed with a firm scolding

Dhawan! Master

Oh boy. Out of the three of them, he is the whiniest, clingiest, and biggest baby yet

As soon as he wakes up and can tell he doesn't feel good, he immediately calls out for you. It could be as minor as a sore throat or the sniffles and he'll act like he's dying

At first he tries to act just as intimidating as he usually is but it doesn't work because a) you don't find him that intimidating in the first place and b) even if you did he's definitely not when he's wrapped up in multiple blankets and cuddling with a stuffed animal

Speaking of which he begs you to cuddle with him, even if it's likely that you'll catch what he has. Honestly, the two of you usually get sick back to back because of how clingy he is: if one of you has something, the other is bound to catch it at some point

He doesn't want to have his every whim catered to in an arrogant way, he's just so pathetic and pitiful when he asks for something that you can't help for feel sorry for him and find it near impossible to say no

Needs to be near you the entire time he's sick. If you disappear even for a second he begins to practically whimper with displeasure, like a small puppy who's been abandoned

End notes: I hope you liked it anon 💗

Likes < reblogs | comments are greatly appreciated | requests are currently open

Main masterlist | Doctor Who masterlist | wanna be added to my taglist?

🏷 taglist: @theonetruepotato87 @sessa23 @super-just-because

[moonshynecybin]

Hi! I have been thinking about Marc and the ways he expresses his anger... giving the cold shoulder... the silent treatment if you will (he will speak ABOUT vale but not TO vale let alone WITH vale)... need your input please....

hmm good question.... this got. STUPID long sorry

uhhh marc is, in general, good at keeping his (negative) emotions in check. like i think marc loooooves to think of himself on track as a mature, controlled, and rational dude. above distraction. a killer. a cyborg. idk his dad has talked about how he doesnt really complain much about injury and there's also allll these stories about what a mature kid he was... so i think that when he was young - ESPECIALLY in a racing sense because he was so much younger than most of the people he was competing against - he internalized that in order to do all the stuff he wants to do racing-wise, he reallyyyy has to keep a level head and not well. act his age! and i think that extends to a lot of how he manages his emotions today (at least in a public setting). even in places where im pretty sure hes PISSED (sepang. phillip island 2013.) he just kind of. visibly contains himself. not a confrontational dude in the outright sense he'll clench his jaw and try to work through it.

which is part of what makes his valentino-oriented crazy so interesting. bc people were noticing that marc in 2015 was kind of. being weird. as his and valentino's relationship deteriorated. like they were both outwardly very much like we can keep it on track :) until the big fallout towards the end of the year but uhhhh. well marc has said that vale started pulling back in september of 2014 like he was noticing SOMETHING, and they clashed on track A LOT in 2015, and i think marc sensed vale cooling on him and freaked a lil. hashtag neurotic 22 year old moments. he is my favorite crazy ex girlfriend. like usually he IS good at separating that stuff out and managing his emotions in the racing sense but in assen that year when vale overtook him off track after they made contact he raised a BIG stink with race direction and actually had some uh. not especially chill quotes about it. (it should be noted marc was also flopping for the first time in his motogp career. like in his brain he stopped winning AND vale stopped talking to him he was goin through it) adn all the reporters noticed too they were like. why werent you sucking and fucking in parc ferme. like vale's left turn wrt to spaniard sabotage comes outta nowhere but people WERE noticing that things were changing. i bet marc noticed too. BUT they are not the type of people to talk about these things so they keep it to vague flirting in presscons and escalating on-track tension slash proxy wars waged in race-direction contexts... liek truly you are 22 you are not going to keep your championship title and your hot sports idol bestie is no longer flirting with you on twitter and you COULD just talk to him about that but you'd rather DIE so youre going to ask honda to back you up to race direction about your last race where you DEFINITELY lost bc winning is the ONLY thing thatll make you feel better. even though thatll help convince your hot sports idol that you are engaging in a benedict arnold level betrayal scheme against him. an insane time to be marc marquez. 2015 really kind of is a study on how both of them handle losing: NOT WELL.

and then the thing about sepang is that then the lid is blown clean off and marc spends the ENTIRE race being annoying on purposeeeee. hes so fucking pissed and hurt at valentino that he decides to get under his skin for REALSIES instead of focusing on his race. like idk he probably would have fought hard for the win without the drama that how he works but uh. i think he was being annoying specifically to bite at vale's edges. and part of that is bc marc is naturally and effortlessly annoying. but i think part of it was SPITE. like his team advised him not to speak on anything from that presscon and he didnt, but he can still fuck him over on track. get under his skin. like he cant tell vale to his FACE that he's angry and confused and hurt. but he CAN let him know on that fucking racing line. where he cant be ignored. idk like i cant see marc letting anyone else get under his skin like that.

AND another big ass exception to the marc marquez anger management philosophy is from misano 2019 where vale messes with his qualifying lap. a lovely anon sent me some videos of marc talking to the press and jesus christ i dont think ive ever seen him angrier oh my god. AND the anon also linked the race from that weekend where he won and he celebrated harder than ive seen him celebrate some TITLE wins like he went. notably nuts. the commentators were all like uhhhh. he mustve REALLY wanted to get one over on vale adjfhlkdh... idk if any of this answered your question but his relationship to his emotions fascinates me hes so weirddddd. and its interesting to me that he can shrug off jorge ruining his last race at honda and be friendly but also be like. kind of aloofly pissed at bezz. because of valentino! he can repress the rest of it, but valentino shines through the cracks.

[so-ithinkicandance]

James Potter General Dating Headcanons

• James Potter is the most devoted and enthusiastic lover someone could ever have; he puts so much effort into everything that it's genuinely astonishing, but it never becomes grating or overbearing.

• With him, you never have an empty feeling of affection.

• He finds forehead or temple kisses to be particularly endearing and an excellent way to express his affection for you.

• James' hair is notoriously unruly, as we all know, so if you run your hands through it in an effort to disentangle it, he will melt right there.

• If you press a kiss to his knuckles or cheek it calms him down.

• Falling asleep on his shoulder is another thing that causes James to melt in his tracks.

• He likes to have your arm around your shoulder when you walk down the hallways, or your hand in his if you aren't too comfortable with pda.

• He's fine with linking pinkies or a soft kiss to the back of your hand every now and then at the end of the day because he wants you to be as happy as possible.

• He wears his quidditch jersey, especially in the stands of his games if he has a spare.

• James frequently raises his spectacles with his middle finger; in fact, he does this reflexively even when he is not wearing glasses, giving the impression that he is yelling at everyone without provocation.

• You and Siri tease him a lot for this and give him the middle finger in return.

• It takes him at least a minute to realise what he's done before he says, "You've got to stop doing that, it's not fair," or says, "All's fair in love and war, James."

• He has a tendency to overindulge at parties, especially after Gryffindor wins the Quidditch Cup, but if you need him to help you sober up because you're too exhausted or intoxicated to continue, he will.

• Suddenly, he is completely sober and is escorting you to his dorm.

• Although James isn't the best dancer, he loves to dance with you and will do anything to keep you close to him the entire night in order to make sure you're safe and having a good time.

• Although you are one of the only people who can persuade James to study, he will decline going to the library with Remus, but as soon as you ask him if he wants to go?

• If you're the one who doesn't want to study, he'll grab his books and run after you without pausing. If not, he'll go into full-on mother mode and pull you to the library and make you complete your homework to avoid getting a detention.

• Speaking of, this lad is no stranger to detention, and he is certainly no stranger to slipping you in whenever he can because he "gets bored."

• However, when you get caught, McGonagall will never be able to understand why you took yourself to detention on purpose.

• smothers you with kisses, ignoring your complains and protestations, and awakens you up, but what if you try to wake him up?

• Good luck; he'll wrap his arms around your waist and pull you into bed with him.

• He constantly says you don't have to come to his early morning quidditch practises, but he's secretly over the moon when you drag yourself out of bed for them.

• spends the entire day with you on your birthday

• I'm talking about gifts, a cake he managed to procure, having the entire great hall sing "happy birthday" to you over breakfast, and hosting a little party or get-together for all of your friends. He will seize any opportunity to express his love for you and will

[dzvelinaskebiyars]

hi i would like to make a request (headcanons or one shot, what do you like more) with baji x fem reader (where he is 14 years old), she is his girlfriend, and also she lives with a neglectful father and has to raise her younger siblings on her own. (maybe if you watched "shameless" you can make the father look like Frank, and the reader like Fiona, if you don't know it's okey but I will make a note that even though Frank was a bad father, Fiona was still his favorite daughter) and how Baji would treat her in this situation, maybe help her with siblings or chores, also please make it so that they know each other since childhood

Hello! Yet another request that I'm doing way too late lol. Thank you so much for requesting tho! And no I haven't watched Shameless but I've seen enough Tiktok of it to get the idea.

You and Baji have known each other since childhood and your families are very close. It wasn't much of a surprise for your family when you two started dating, considering how much time you two have spent together.

Though, starting a relationship was extremely big choice for you and you've been very hesitant in that because of your family's situation. And Baji has been nothing but understanding towards your situation.

He's very aware of what kind of family you have and he's genuinely very understanding and comforting to you because of that.

I feel like he'd take you to amusement parks and etc a lot because he wants you to enjoy your childhood. Since amusement parks are kids' favourite and you just...didn't get to enjoy any of it before.

Yes he'd come over a lot, especially when you need help, and would help you out even if it's with chores.

His home's door is ALWAYS open for you. If you just don't want to stay at your house and need a break from all of it, you're more than welcome to stay at his place.

Genuinely gets so angry when your family, especially your parents, don't appreciate you and your efforts. Yea he wouldn't get too involved since at the end of the day, it's still family business. But he'd say things like "Don't you think you're just being selfish? I mean, if I had a sister who would give up her entire childhood just to raise me well, I'd go as far to kill for her and die for her." or "You're asking her to support you when you have never in your life supported her?" to your siblings after they'd complain about absolutely stupid shit that you didn't do for them.

When you seek any kind of comfort, he'd gladly comfort you. For example cuddle with you and calm you down when you're crying, telling you how he's proud of you and etc.

But seriously, there has been times when he just snapped and told you to pack your things up and live with him because he can't stand to see you suffering.

Just say what you need and he'll do it. He'll help you. Your siblings are being piece of shits? He'll talk sense to them. Your father is drunk asf and starts a fight? He'll take you away to a date or to his place. You need a shoulder to cry on? He's right here, pretty. You need financial support? He'll help you out. You need help with housechores because there's sm to do and you need s hand with it? He's coming over rn to help you out!

He purposely doesn't beat tf outta of your father or siblings because he knows it'll upset you and he doesn't want that. But, trust me, all he wants is to bash your family's heads on the wall and take you far away from those monsters and make you happy.

If your father or any of ur family member gets physical, he'll absolutely lose it. I swear he'll make them regret that forever.

[moodymisty]

Not the same anon but you remember that Death with cold and cynical s/o after the Well of Souls thing? I'm kinda intrigued about how that works, so can I request a oneshot for that?

Btw, after reading that entire thing, it sounds a bit like "Just Look My Way" from Helluva Boss.

Author's Note: Hello! I had a bit of trouble with this one, but I hope you still enjoy it :3 I'm trying to get the last few of the SFW requests done since the NSFW ones are becoming so long XD I'm proud of them, but they tend to take longer and get drawn out.

Relationships: Death/Gn!Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1374

Death wouldn't consider himself unfamiliar with the feeling of death, as joking as it might sound to himself.

However the Well of Souls however had felt, different. It feels like no time has passed at all, like a blink of an eye; Though he can tell by the leaves on the trees and the structures around the Tri-Forge than more than a fair bit of time has passed.

A part of him had considered not even making this stop. His 'death' at the Well of Souls could serve as a perfect severing point between him and the Makers realm. He could just add it to the list of places he's traveled through and throw it behind him.

But he just couldn't do it. Against his better judgement, he just needs to make sure.

He'd never said goodbye to you, never told you where he was going; He'd just left you at the Tri-Forge, and had trusted in the Makers to keep you safe. He's sure they've done a fine job of that, in his absence. As much as he might've complained, he can't think of many at all that he trusts as much.

Death dismisses Despair and walks into the Tri-Forge, and within moments he can feel as if something is off.

He's quite familiar with feeling unwelcome in any place unfortunate enough to have him present, but even this is a bit... intense.

The Makers on first glance can't contain their surprise at seeing the Reaper again, before it quickly sours. Death wonders how long he's really been gone; He imagines not much longer than a season, if the weather is anything to go by. It had been quite warm the last time he'd been here, and now the Makers realm is quite a bit colder.

He continues forward, and it's not longer after he passes the outer forges that he crosses the old warrior he remembers from the beginning of that long journey that led him to the Well of Souls.

Valus gives him one cold look; For once the reaper might've preferred seeing Alya.

"You have quite the pair to come back around here again after what you did."

Death lets out a quiet scoff. He knows what the Maker is referring to, but decides to beat around it. Why he can't hazard a guess, it slips from his lips behind the mask before he has a chance to really stop it.

"After what? Attempting to save War? I believe you all helped me in that endeavor, last I remember."

Valus crosses his arms across the expanse of his chest, and nods in the direction deeper into the forge.

"You have a lot to work on, Reaper. You might be able to talk like that to me, but you ain't gonna do that with them."

So you're still here. That fills him with more relief than he'd ever dare utter out loud. He doesn't know why he even thought you would be gone- the Human realm is still off limits, as well as a crumbling wreckage.

Valus, as much as it seems to physically hurt the Maker, directs him in your direction before not giving the reaper much more than a scornful parting glare. Death takes it in stride- it isn't the first time- and keeps moving until he finds you.

But he can't contain the raising of his posture when he sees you, your back turned to him. You don't seem to know he's here as of yet, occupied with something else.

He notices in your lap is Dust; He'd put the bird in charge of keeping an eye on you shortly before he had 'died'. He'll give the bird a piece of carrion for sticking though with it. Though he isn't very much surprised, as the bird had taken a liking to you quite quickly. It helps that you were more than eager to snuggle and give the bird scritches, unlike himself.

You tenderly scratch the bird on the back of the neck and earn an appreciative warble, before the crow notices him and abruptly begins to squawk, jumping on your thigh and flapping his wings. You look down at him and pinch his beak for a moment, trying to distract the bird.

"Quiet Dust, geez." The bird fluffs up and continues to caterwaul, until his old master finally speaks up.

"I don't appreciate you yelling at me, bird."

He notices your body tense up and raise suddenly, and you look over your left and see him, eyes wide and lips slightly parted. The crow lowers his tone and still warbles deep in his throat, but stops the flapping and alarm bells.

And then your face drops back to neutral, and you turn away.

Dust hops gently on your thigh and looks up at you, taking a chunk of your clothing in his beak and attempting to pull at it. He gets gently brushed to stop doing it, and settles back into a fluffy black loaf.

Death takes the hit to his pride a bit harder than perhaps he should have, considering his attempts to feign nonchalance for anything other than your fragile mortality. He had expecting you to have that brightness to your eyes and jump up and run to him, like you'd had the myriad of times he'd left you for even the shortest while. He'd thought it was annoying, but now he finds himself almost craving it as your back faces him. He misses the happiness, the energy. It's like it's all evaporated from you now.

This is what Valus was referring to, it seems.

"Quite the greeting," He says, gesturing with his hand for his crow to finally return to his master. His duty is done after all, he did what Death asked of him.

Dust distinctly hesitates for a moment, before eventually giving in and flying back to rest on the top of Harvester. Meanwhile you turn around and give him a venomous look, crossing your arms.

"You gave so little of a shit about me you couldn't even say goodbye, Death." You just shrug your shoulders and turn away, like you can even tolerate the look of his mask. "Now that you picked up your bird, you can leave. I'm sure you have somewhere much more important to be. I'll be fine with the Makers." "Though I doubt that was ever a concern for you."

He supposes that you aren't wrong to think that. He never did tell you more than what he absolutely had to. In that moment, and the many times he'd neglected to tell you things beforehand, he thought he was doing the best thing. And keeping his feelings at arms length.

Keeping yours at arms length too; He could tell you were getting more and more attached to him, and that he needed to keep it from happening before you ended up too entrenched in something that would only end up getting you killed.

But he hates the way that your admittance to thinking he doesn't care about you hurts.

He does care; Far too much, if Death had any say in it.

He gives far too much of a care for someone as old and dejected as him. One of the first things that came to his mind when he left the Well of Souls was you.

He supposes this was bound to happen. Everyone eventually comes to hate him, in the end. It's his lot in life.

Though this one hurts far worse, and he finds himself wishing to fix it far more than any of the others. To make matters worse, his crow hefts himself off of his scythe and returns to you, as you get up and move to walk away.

As you pass he raises his hand ever so slightly to grab your arm and stop you- he doesn't even know what he'd say to you if he did- but drops it. You don't notice, and keep walking away right past him.

Death supposes he deserves this.

But while he finds himself unsure on what to do, he knows he has to do something. He isn't going to let you go like all of the others that have wandered through his life. He just doesn't know where to start.

[delopsia]

Politely requesting Miles Miler thoughts in these trying times

aaaaa I haven't gotten anything for Miles in a minute 🥺 I have a bunch of oddly placed thoughts about the little guy, so I guess this is a *drumroll, please*

Random Miles Miller headcanons + NSFW

He. Sleeps. Everywhere. You leave him in the car to go get something in the store and come out to find him snoozing in the seat. If he lays on you, he'll be out in minutes. On the couch? Gone. Waiting for the waitress to bring your meal? Out like a light. Boring movie? He didn't stand a chance. Standing up? He's mastered it. Lawn chairs are off-limits because he will curl up and wind up with a ridiculous sunburn.

Quiet as all hell. Unless you're watching the door, you truly have no idea if Miles has come home or not. Sometimes, you'll turn around, and he's just there. When did he enter the room? Nobody knows.

Somewhat related, you getting frightened also scares him. Which means that if he accidentally scares you into yelping, then he's likely going to jump and yelp, too. His reaction to horror films is entirely correlated to how you react; if you're quiet, then he will be, too, but the moment you scream, then so will he.

Nothing on this earth will get between Miles and his ice cream; he loves nearly every flavor. Chocolate, vanilla, rocky road, mint chip, cookie dough, cake batter, salted caramel. Pistachio is one of the few things that he'll wrinkle his nose at, but he'll eat it if he's got no other option.

He's shy about it, but he loves it when you let him sit in your lap, his back against your chest while watching television, straddling you as his lips tangle with yours; he adores it all.

You've got to be so careful about when and where you choose to kiss him because anything longer than a few seconds has the little guy mewling into them. He can't help it! There's something so soothing about it that has those soft noises bubbling out of him. Not loud enough to be heard from the next room, but there's a reason why you can't sneak over and kiss him behind the reception desk.

When you ask about it, Miles has no clue what you're talking about because he's never spent money on cologne, but he smells like cinnamon rolls? Warm, fresh out of the oven, just cool enough to not burn your tongue when you take a bite.

It's only after you move in together that you realize he's been using a cinnamon-scented 3-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. You'd bug him about graduating to specialized products, but he always smells so damn good that you can't really complain.

Giggles when you maintain eye contact for so long. He doesn't even realize that he's doing it. One minute, you're gazing into each other's eyes, and the next, his lips are rising with a laugh.

Finger nibbler. His own fingers, yours, he doesn't discriminate; if they're near his mouth, then he's gently nipping at the tips of them.

Let! Him! Snuggle on your chest! Pepper his forehead with kisses while he's there! It's the easiest way to get him giggling, cheeks and ears twinged with pink.

Loves baking but isn't that great at it. He keeps trying, but regardless of the effort involved, there's always something wrong in the end. His pastries might be a little burnt, and you may not like them, but hey, he got his sweet treat, and he's happy about it :)

You're gonna have to get used to Miles mumbling to himself. It's not that he's trying to start a conversation or got too shy to continue on, he's just genuinely talking to himself. Sometimes, he'll be reading a book, and you'll overhear a faint, "Don't do that. Why are you doing that? Stop. Don't do that—oh my god."

Rapidly jumps between flighty, not wanting any trouble, and fierce protector. It's strange to watch.

Most of the time, Miles is very keen on avoiding trouble at any cost, steering clear of a restaurant where you got a rude waiter, backing off the moment someone snaps at him, apologizing the moment someone raises a problem with him.

But then there's a night when you wake to a crash downstairs, and he starts dishing out firm, quiet orders to stay near the phone until he comes back. Eyes narrowed, gun in hand, slinking out of the room like he's hunting prey. It was only a shelf that had fallen, shattering a vase on its way to the floor, but for those few minutes, you were the safest person on this side of the country.

Really does not mind it if you want to do 'girly' stuff with him. Paint his nails, style his hair, put makeup on him. He might complain a little if you try to put him in a skirt or a sundress, but he'll do it if that's what you want.

Probably not much of a headcanon, but Miles is such a good little housekeeper! He knows exactly what to use, how much, and how to maintain it. You haven't cleaned the bathroom in years because Miles has a way of doing it and doesn't like to stray from it. The house is immaculate, and Miles is so proud that he's purring like a kitten.

Stronger than he looks? You're still processing it; Miles is nothing but skin, bone, and a little bit of muscle, there's no reason for him to be able to lift that damn bookcase by himself, but he does it. Somehow.

Miles remembers every little thing you've ever told him. You once pointed at a pair of shoes while at the mall, talking about how you wanted them, but they were out of stock, and the store refused to sell the displays. Six months later, they're your birthday gift. You can ramble about a show he's never seen, and he's genuinely listening, keeping up as if he's watched it with you.

Kisses! French kisses, chaste pecks, butterfly kisses, neck, earlobe, hand, belly, nose, hello kisses, goodbye kisses, he wants to give and receive them all!

It wasn't something he was aware of before you got together, but Miles gets so damn squirmy when you kiss his thighs. Especially when you take the time to suck darkened marks into the sensitive skin there; it's the quickest way to have him leaking against his belly and babbling about how badly he wants you to touch him.

Slightly into voyeurism, but only in spaces, he knows don't get a lot of foot traffic. Ex. You sucking him off while he stands behind the reception desk, where anyone can venture through the front door at any minute. He loves clamping his hands over his mouth to try and muffle his whimpers when you're harshly sucking on his sensitive tip.

Raging praise and degradation kinks. You called him your pretty little slut once, and his knees nearly buckled out from under him.

You wouldn't think it, but Miles is surprisingly noisy in bed. He's always gotta be making some kind of noise, babbling your name, grunting under the effort of working his hips, keening high in his throat, senselessly grumbling when you kiss down his neck. The best ones are when you fuck him hard enough to wring those soft 'uh, uh, uh's out of him.

Speaking of. Pegging? Miles had never heard of it when you first met but now he's obsessed. Riding your strap until he's too sore to keep going, getting bent over the kitchen table in nothing but that cute pink apron, the tender closeness of you fucking him in missionary, where he can wrap his shaking legs around you. If you hit the right spot, he doesn't even need to touch his cock.

If Miles could make a full-time job out of eating you out, then he would. There's just something about the feeling of your thighs clamping around his head, your fingers pulling at his hair while he rolls his tongue over your sensitive clit.

Nearly proposes marriage every time you moan his name. One of these days, it's actually going to make its way out of his mouth.

Below the belt, he's pretty average. His cock is maybe a hair over six and a half inches, noticeably thicker but not enough for you to warrant any extra prep before sex, but there's a curve to him that he's learned to use to his advantage. Positions like missionary and cowgirl are where he stands out the most, dragging just right against all those little spots.

...mayhaps I got carried away

[gay-mooshrooms]

I fear to stain your clothes with blood/Stain them. I don't care

Chapter 1

Look.

Maybe Wilbur didn't love going to camp.

Maybe he would whine, and complain, and annoy the crap out of Phil and Techno on the 3-hour car ride.

But! 

That did not mean he hated it. 

Sure it was far from the most enjoyable experience in the world. 

But sue him, the kids gave him some small shred of hope for humanity that he was oh so desperately lacking. 

It also helped that Tommy adored Camp Essempi. He had practically grown up there, been tagging along every summer since he was 7 after Phil bought the place. 

So now Wilbur found himself in his dad's grey van, listening to The Artic Monkeys at a very unhealthy volume, while he could see Techno gesturing in the seat in front of him. 

If he had to guess, Tech was probably monologuing about some new book he read or what he was planning for the campers or something.

Wilbur didn't really care. 

Tommy was directly next to him, and his head was now resting on his shoulder, where it had been slowly creeping toward for the past hour, in spite of him claiming, "Fuck you Wil! I'm not tired at all bitch!"

They really needed to work on his swearing problem.

But that was for another day. 

Right now Wilbur had to worry about how to stay sane with 2 more hours left on this car trip.

He debated trying to read a book he brought but considering the last time he'd tried reading a book in the car they'd had to pull over so he could throw up, he decided not to risk it. 

Listen to Techno rant? Wilbur thinks he'd rather take the vomit at that point.

He eventually just decides to take the easy way out. 

Turning his music down slightly, he lays his head on top of Tommy's, stretching the blanket he'd been hogging across them both, and letting his eyes shut. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time he woke up, they were only 30 minutes away from camp, and Tommy was still dead to the world. 

Techno had fallen asleep at this point too, his head lolling so his long hair fell over the edge of the car seat.

How he lived with it that long Wilbur would never know. 

He removed one of his earbuds and was met with the soft sound of Here Comes the Sun drifting from the radio, Phil humming along quietly. 

A few seconds later, his dad looked up and saw him awake. 

"Oh Wil!" Phil said, smiling, "Didn't see that you were up. We stopped at McDonald's about 15 minutes ago and got some fries for you, figured you'd be hungry."

Wilbur immediately brightened and maybe grabby hands at his father. 

"Gimme food," he said, with all the eloquence of a toddler. 

Phil chuckled and handed over the brown paper bag. 

"Save some for Tommy, you know he'll be starving when he wakes up, and who knows what that will entail."

Wilbur nodded solemnly, suddenly reminded of the last long car trip they'd taken. 

A few minutes into starting on the fries, he felt Tommy stir beside him. 

"Ugh, do I smell food?" Tommy asked, his voice slightly hoarse. 

"Always hungry never satisfied," said Wilbur, which was not entirely inaccurate. Tommy ate like a fiend. 

"Ey!" Tommy blurted out, his head immediately shooting up and his hands raising. "Just cus you're as small as a twig doesn't mean I have to be. Plus I heard Niki's running some of the sports stuff and I am NOT doing that on an empty stomach."

Wilbur had to give him that, Niki, one of his old camp friends and now first-year counselor, was one of the nicest people he'd ever met, but also incredibly badass. 

She'd been one of Techno's favorite campers, and he, in turn, had been her favorite counselor, which meant she was an expert in most combat-based camp stuff. 

She terrified Wilbur and Tommy alike. 

Techno too, but he would only admit that to her.

"Fine fine gremlin child take your food," huffed Wilbur, handing over the bag.

Tommy grinned evilly up at him and began shoveling the food into his mouth like an animal, a raccoon perhaps. Or maybe a possum. 

Wilbur couldn't help but grimace and turn his attention back towards his older brother and father, who, now that Techno had woken up too, were discussing camp setup. 

"Listen, Phil," one of Techno's quirks, he almost never called Phil dad. "We have more campers this year, we're gonna need to buy some more stuff."

Phil shook his head, "It'll be fine Tech. And if not, we'll go out and get stuff. And anyway, it's not so much supplies I'm worried about but space. I think we'll have to raid some of the unused cabins for cots. The last thing I wanna do is force kids to sleep on the floor, "said Phil, chuckling. 

"It would be good for them, " Wilbur chimed in, "Builds character."

Phil laughed. 

"C'mon Wil, let's not give them scoliosis too early on in the summer."

"As I just stated, character building."

"Wilbur I swear to god."

The last 20 minutes of the drive were spent bickering about random topics or singing along to Hamilton.

The latter was, of course, Wilbur's request. 

But Tommy joined in too. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sudden sound of crunching gravel alerted Wilbur to their imminent arrival at Essempi, a sound that bore equal parts joy and pain in his mind. 

It was at this point Tommy began bouncing off the walls, it was honestly a miracle he's lasted this long.

Usually about 2 hours in they had to stop for 15 minutes and just putter around a gas station.

Fortunately, Tommy had stayed up late last night with Wilbur, going over rules and his luggage over and over again to make sure he didn't forget anything. 

But once rested, Tommy's energy made a full recovery, and as soon as they had gotten their luggage out of the car he was full-on sprinting towards their cabin. 

Wilbur however, did not not follow so eagerly. 

Unlike Tommy, car trips didn't make him stir crazy, but rather tired, lethargic, and dead on his feet.

So, grumbling, he hoisted his backpack over his shoulders and grabbed his duffle, before trudging down the path behind his little brother. 

It didn't take long for his dad and Techno to catch up, his older brother giving him a small pat on his shoulder before moving past. 

Phil on the other hand, fell into stride alongside Wilbur and started humming Dear Theodosia, one of his favorites. 

"How are you feeling Wil?"

The words startled him, he hadn't exactly been expecting conversation. 

"Uh, fine?" he said, with a slight question in his tone. 

"I mean, a bit tired but nothing horrible."

Phil nodded, "OK. Just let us know if you need anything."

Wilbur couldn't help the small sigh that escaped him. 

He understood that his dad meant well. That he genuinely cared and wanted to help. But this was not what Wilbur needed. 

He never did well at the whole talking about your feelings thing. That was definitely Phil's department, and something he always encouraged in his kids. But somehow Wilbur never got the hand of that particular skill.

He didn't think any of them did really.

But he didn't say this, or anything remotely similar. 

Instead, he just nodded and said softly, "Alright, thanks dad."

Phil smiled, laid a hand on Wilbur's shoulder, gave a small squeeze, and then he was gone. 

Wilbur paused for a second, looking around at the slowly darkening sky, where the first glimpses of stars were visible.

He glanced at the trees, shaking in the slight breeze that was making him glad he wore a hoodie.

And finally, he looked back down the path, where beams of warm light could now be seen.

Wilbur took a deep inhale, readjusted his bag, and continued walking.

It was gonna be a long couple of months.

[chickensarentcheap]

Answer whichever ones you want, or all :)

What are their common interests?

What is the individual goal of each character?

What are their common goals?

What activities do they enjoy doing together? What activities does one enjoy that the other doesn’t?

Do they feel the same way about money?

How did each character come to trust the other?

What are their mannerisms when walking side by side?

How does being around each other change their thought processes?

What do they share and talk about the most?

What sort of things do they get into fights over?

How do they reconcile after arguments?

In what ways do they pressure the other, or consciously avoid applying pressure?

What is the biggest threat to their relationship? Are they aware it exists?

They both love the outdoors and working with their hands. Tyler is quite the handyman and he builds a lot of things for around the house and for her and the kids. Esme loves to garden, bake, crochet and knit. They both love classic rock, they both enjoy hiking and rock climbing and both love animals.

Tyler is to be the best version of himself that he can possibly be. He once told Esme that she made him want to be a better man. And he's worked very hard on that and continues to work on it. He wants to be a much better husband and partner and father this time around. Esme wants to just live a good life; nurture her children, inspire them, continue to grow and build her marriage. And be nothing like her mother.

Both want to raise well rounded, secure, emotionally and mentally intelligent children. Who will have big hearts and be confident, self sufficient and independent adults.

Paddle boarding (although he rerfers surfing), rocking climbing, hiking, swimming. Tyler does not like gardening in the slightest (he will help her) and Esme isn't as into working out as he is lol. She'll do it, but she'll complain about it the whole time.

These two have so much money in the bank that they'll NEVER run it, regardless of what they spend. Yet, they live rather 'normally' and far from pretentious and 'showy'. Tyler, he spoils her and the kids and makes no apologies. Esme, despite knowing they are financially secure (and then some) for the rest of their lives, still budgets, can be frugal, complains when he spoils her lol

You know, I'm not entirely sure. They almost weren't giving a choice; they HAD to trust one another of they wouldn't have lasted in Dhaka. Within a couple days, both listened to their instincts; the other was a good person and could be trusted.

They're such an couple with that huge size and height difference lol. They always find a way to touch though. It could just be their arms brushing against one another or he'll have a hand on the small of her back or the nape of her neck. She'll put her hand under his shirt and hook a finger around a belt loop at the back of his shorts/pants. They hold hands a lot. Or she'll wrap both arms around one of his.

Each becomes very mindful of the other. Tyler becomes solely focused on her; watching the tone of his voice, protecting her, making her feel secure, listening to her, comforting her, etc. Esme knows what certain triggers are for him, and can identify them before they ever happen.

They tend to talk about their childhoods and how traumatic they were, and their determination to NOT create lives like that for their children.

They definitely get into it when Tyler tracks sand through the house lol. Or when both keep things from each other because they feel the need to protect one another.

They love make up sex. Do you blame them? lol

I'm skipping this one as I need to think about it...

I think the biggest threats are his job (the fear of losing him to it), his mental struggles, and his addictions that are always lingering around

[l0t4n]

HOW DO THEY TALK TO CUSTOMER SUPPORT???

a/n Inspired by my own terrible experiences recently trying to claim a warranty replacement… I didn't realize until just now that I forgot to add Solomon pretend it's because he's died or something. Rip old fart

Includes the brothers + dateables, minus Solomon. Luke is there too, rare mentions of gn mc for good luck :)

LUCIFER

-doesn't bother emailing or using any kind of text communication ever, always calls

-claims that it's because they brush you off easier when you aren't on the phone

-on the phone, they need to hang up on you, which is rude, but in text they can just say they aren't going to respond anymore

-this is his logic

-nobody questions him because he is an absolute customer support expert

-has to force his brothers to contact customer service themselves, otherwise they will always ask him to do it for them

-is relatively polite to the person on the other end of the phone

-but will not hesitate to raise his voice and make demands

-and yet.

-even he is not immune to spending hours on hold, waiting in queues, and trying to communicate issues in a way that will not void any kind of warranty or contract

-frequently is not patient enough to actually undergo all that, but will endure if the situation is dire enough

-when he is capable of reaching the end of a call, he is always victorious

-even if he is lacking necessary documentation or proof

-probably just as terrible as doing paperwork for hours anyways

-he's bothered by it less than he shows

MAMMON

-exact opposite of Lucifer in his approach

-also believes that any customer support system that isn't calling is built to turn people away, but that's where the similarity ends

-even then, he learned that from Lucifer

-by default, yells at the other person on the phone

-once they show signs of not wanting to help, he will only then backpedal and act polite

-because of this he hardly ever gets anything done when contacting customer support

-either bails the moment he's put on hold or complains about how long the call is from the second it starts until the moment it ends

-always ends up spending many hours on the phone when he does persevere, substantially longer than anyone else because of how demanding he can be

-let's be honest though: he hardly ever calls customer service for real reasons

-he's always trying to scam his way into a fake warranty replacement or refund

-on a blacklist for multiple different companies, gets angry and acts shocked when they tell him this

-despite how bad he is at it, he will jump at any opportunity to call customer support for mc when needed

-may even act very polite on the phone at first

-that will not last long

-mc will witness the worst in him by the time that phone call hits one hour and it's only downhill from there

LEVIATHAN

-does not call customer support

-does not call people period

-he will never ever pick up a phone call from an unknown number. Hates being on the phone with strangers more than anything

-usually forces Lucifer to make important phone calls for him

-or spends hours freaking out over a call to the doctor's office because Lucifer said he has to make the appointment himself

-so, obviously, he never ever calls customer support

-might email them or otherwise communicate over text, although still does not like going through the hassle

-if it's majorly important - a figure that arrived damaged or a forgotten password and email - he is actually very patient and thorough in making sure he can get it fulfilled

-otherwise it's too time-consuming and boring, he'll just fix the issue himself or avoid it entirely

-one time though

-his limited edition ruri-chan figure, of which only 50 were produced

-arrived BROKEN

-he didn't think twice about calling customer support. Paced his room like a businessman in the midst of a serious deal the entire time

-all his anxiety gone the second ruri-chan was on the line

-came out victorious with a replacement

SATAN

-strict protocols for how he must approach contacting customer support

-after many an incident, Lucifer put him on a step-by-step plan for how he must go about making any sort of contact with people in customer relations positions

-he must run the issue by Lucifer first to prevent him from making any rash decisions in the spur of the moment

-then, he must create a script outlining exactly what to say to maximize the chances of the interaction staying friendly

-only then can he contact support

-obviously though, since this was a plan made by Lucifer, he never follows it

-as time passes, and he becomes more and more capable of managing his anger, he hardly even sees a reason to contact support outside of rare incidents anyways

-when those rare incidents pop up, however, there are MANY parts to the customer support ladder that lead even the regular individual to anger, much less the avatar of wrath

-has to do silly shit to calm himself down

-mc comes home one day to find Satan pacing the living room, visibly pissed

-wearing his emotional support cat ears

-about as successful at getting what he wants as the average individual

-when he fails, though, the house of lamentation will suffer

-learns how to send curses over phone lines for this exact purpose

ASMODEUS

-will call customer support every time. No emails

-not because he prefers the phone or anything it's just easier to charm the person on the other end that way

-will physically go to an establishment to complain if it's an option

-if it isn't, will settle for the phone

-none of his brothers ask him to call customer support for them, because they think his methods are embarrassing, but there is absolutely no denying they work insanely well

-never gets put on hold, never gets told no

-always ends the call with exactly what he wanted to begin with

-for that reason he will, however, occasionally delay making the call for a number of days to really consider what he wants

-would a refund or a replacement work best? Does he want to change his username too when he calls to reset his password?

-it's not like he's actually bound by any contract or protocol, he can surpass all that easily

-probably the best option if mc needs to call customer support regardless

BEELZEBUB

-the most normal one

-prefers calling to text-based communication because he thinks it frees up his hands to eat while on the phone

-always forgets the most important appendage for speaking: mouth

-the support people must learn to decipher what he's saying inbetween mouthfuls of food

-frequently has no real reason to contact support, unless he happens to swallow a piece of technology whole

-they don't even listen to him in those cases, just redirect him to a poison control center or a doctor

-he knows well enough by now though that he can handle it, he just needs to claim warranty

-either doesn't exactly enjoy lying about the nature of the “damage” or has a very complex script the others helped him compose

-maybe both

-sometimes will make a call for Belphie since he can't stay awake during holds

-frequently gets what he wants by being mild mannered and reasonable

BELPHEGOR

-yea. You will never catch him bothering with that shit

-cannot stay awake at all

-both text and call won't work

-only thing that would ever work is email, since there's no immediate demand to reply

-even then, he has a track record of waking up, typing an incomprehensible email in response, then immediately falling right back asleep with no memory of events once he's fully awake again

-then needing to go back in and correct himself to the person on the other end

-but anything instant messaging, or God forbid, a phone call, which will likely put him on hold, he gives up on immediately

-it's probably some faulty state of the art pillow or something, he'll just buy a new one

-beel may go through the effort of calling support for him if need be, although Belphie almost never directly asks him to

-in the absolute most dire situation arises and he needs to contact customer support, he will need someone else there to monitor him and keep him awake, almost always beel or mc

-of the one or two times he's bothered, he's had so-so luck getting what he wants

-he doesn't actually care about what the other person thinks, so doesn't have the patience to make up lies to maximize the issue being taken seriously

-for this reason he already knows most things he may have a reason to call for won't be covered by warranty

DIAVOLO

-wants so desperately for the rugged experience of customer support

-the getting put on hold. The getting put in a queue. The lying to representatives

-just the thought makes him excited

-it's the same romantic approach he has to the dmv

-he wants to experience the shared commoner suffering of bad service systems

-a part of that is a genuine desire to know the issues and fix them

-but more than anything he just sees how other people bond over their hatred of things like this and he wants in on the regular person experience

-sadly, Barbatos does not let him

-even he hardly contacts support, just the slightest nudge by the demon king’s estate will have any company scrambling to accommodate any request

-rapt attention when hearing lucifer complain about needing to lie to get what he wants out of customer service

-needing to lie! Imagine that! Barbatos is just honest with what happens over the phone and they will always receive a replacement or gift for their troubles regardless

-lucifer does not enjoy engaging in diavolo’s silly whims so instead he just bottles it all up

-while Dia pesters him for customer service stories like they're some kind of freakish, bland version of bedtime stories

-if the day ever came that he got to call customer support all on his own, he would not get the issue fixed

-he would just ask the support person unrelated questions the entire time

BARBATOS

-of course his overworked ass is highly familiar with making customer support calls

-hates them because of the massive wrench they tend to throw into his carefully planned schedule

-the privilege of having direct contact to company CEOs instead of the lowly regular support lines largely cuts the call time down to a fraction of what it would be otherwise, however

-makes calls for castle staff more than he does for diavolo himself

-shipments of cleaning supplies that arrive damaged, or the wrong grocery order sent out

-but when he does need to make a call for dia, the ability to namedrop the devildom prince himself usually earns him even more special privileges

-always gets what he wants and more

-hates when the calls get long but persists nonetheless, as long as he can leave with more than he started with

-a call getting “long” for barb is usually about half an hour anyways, nothing compared to the multi-hour ordeals of regular service lines

-may mop a little while holding the phone in the crook of his neck

SIMEON

-can hardly even navigate to the call app, much less use email, or web messaging

-can text marginally

-in the event of contacting customer support through text, he will either be full grandpa or professional author about it

-”help . ComputEr brok”

-”Hello, to whomever it may concern, my personal computer appears to have gone out… “

-no inbetween

-he's so polite though they usually let him get what he wants

-doesn't mind the waits, will only have good things to say about his support people after the fact

-”oh well their jobs are just so hard… “

-lucifer got tired of reminding him he can be a bit firmer with service workers centuries ago

-Simeon won't have it

-he will die before he yells at someone whose job involves heavy exposure to the general public

-learns this doubly so after running the café

-on the bright side, that experience did, in fact, give him just a bit extra confidence to get firm with strangers

LUKE

-Simeon tries to get him to make a call himself once so he can earn the experience

-it scares him so bad, can't do it

-going forward he's afraid Simeon will make him go on the phone again though, so he always opts for text-based customer support options instead and just doesn't say anything

-sometimes goes behind Simeon’s back and gets his stuff replaced/refunded when he sees him struggling a bit too much with how a certain customer support system is structured

-finds out that people sometimes lie to customer support to get what they want

-or worse, finds out about the sort of scams Mammon runs with regard to warranty fraud

-is so horrified by the idea of both

-has a nagging fear in the back of his head whenever he needs to talk to anyone who works in customer service that he'll accidentally lie to them or scam them without realizing

-has nightmares about it constantly

[mydarlingbeatrice]

Arcadia , PT. 2

A/N - SORRY OMG FOR TAKING SO LONG BUT HERE U GO!!!

Sad and lonely, the poor girl watches as the entire school gets ready for the upcoming Valentines day. She had heard from one of her closest friends, Andromeda, that this year Hogwarts would have more preparation for the loved holiday. 

"I'm surprised you're not with James, you still like him don't you?" Andromeda questions her, taking a bite of her biscuit after. She stares at the girl in front of her, waiting for an answer with raised eyebrows. 

The girl sighs and looks back into her tea, trying to formulate a response for her friend. "I don't know Andy, I think he likes Lily Evans. They've been talking a lot this past month. He might as well ask her to be his Valentine!" She pouts, complaining. 

Andromeda considers the weight of her words for a mere second, "Well, I've heard that the Rosier, Evan was his name wasn't it? Yes him, he's been glancing at you quite often in the hallways! Why don't you see if you like him?" She turns to look at the girl, waiting for a response. 

She however, smiles before responding, "Perhaps. He's been nice to me so I don't see why not? Maybe he'll take my mind off the boy I've liked for almost 4 years." She says. The two girls stand up to put their trash away as they exit the Three Broomsticks. 

. . . 

I freeze. I was truly stupid to come to the Three Broomsticks without expecting a couple. But, I didn't know that I'd be faced with James Potter accompanied with an annoyed looking Lily Evans. Andy looks at me staring the two down. She grabs my arm and we quickly make our way back into the campus. 

"Stay unaffected." She tells me when we walk through the hallways to the library. I smiled at her, entering the library. 

My face morphs into one of surprise as I find a now awake Evan Rosier staring back at me, smirking while sitting in one of the many chairs that we have. 

My luck just keeps getting better, doesn't it?

Andy smirks, "Well, go to him!" She whispers to me, pushing me towards the man. My face is still stuck in the surprise I had when I first saw him. 

"What a pleasure, lovely to see you darling." He says in a nonchalant way, still smirking at my smitten face. I quickly regain myself, patting my hair down. 

I stare at him nervously, flashing him one of my smiles. "Can I sit here?" I say, pointing to the seat next to him. 

. . . 

Evan and I had been getting along for the most part, we had shared mostly similar interests. Currently we were talking about Slughorn’s new project in Potions. “That’s amazing! How long did it take for you to finish the brew?” I asked him. He thinks, trying to remember. 

“Erm, I don’t think it took much time! I mean, I did also have Snape as my partner..” He finishes off with a chuckle, adjusting to face me in his chair. 

I smile softly at him. “Of course, Snape’s amazing at Potions! I’ve never seen him not make a potion perfectly. Need to ask him his secrets!” I laugh along with him. 

Soon, a comfortable silence falls over us as I turn to my homework for Slughorn, writing “The Draught of Living Death” in underlined letters. I continue to finish up my essay and go over it with Rosier, who doesn’t hesitate to help me. We both peacefully look over each other’s essays and homework. Suddenly, we are interrupted by a loud slam against the outside of the library door. I furrowed my eyebrows as I then saw Sirius, Remus, James and Peter emerge through the library’s old wooden doors. 

I smile brightly as I look towards them. They however, fail to return my advances as they look confusedly between me and Evan Rosier. “Hello you guys! Come sit with us.” I scan all of them with a smile, faltering my movements when I see James. 

“Hey, can I talk to you in private for a second?” The brunette I was staring at asks me, I nod wordlessly as he pulls me out the library. 

[invisiblequeen]

For @theosconfessions Love Is Embarrassing BC: Parker Wiles!

Age: 25

Sexuality: Straight

Hometown:

Occupation: Latte Artiste At The Coffee House

Traits: Bookworm, Humble, Worldly, Good

Aspiration: Neighborhood Confidante

Skills:

Cleaning - 5

Fitness - 3

Charisma - 8

Handiness - 7

Cooking - 5

Research & Debate - 8

Rock Climbing - 5

Mixology - 8

At first glance, you'd think Parker has always been a laid back normal guy. But just a decade ago, he was wearing sweater vests and complaining about limes over lemons in his iced water.

Parker grew up with in a privileged home to some privileged parents who took all of their privilege and did some white collar crime with it. What that crime was, he couldn't tell you. They never said anything other than, "We do what he have to for you, honey." He was raised to be the charming, patronizing preppy boy, only going to the finest of schools with the best of the best. Classmates who were there with him say he was never actively a bully, just friends with some. Turning a blind eye to their misbehavior, he'd be the one trying to charm the girls during lunch, lazily chewing on a toothpick, brushing off the red flags.

All was fine and dandy until Senior Year. The bullies he had absentmindedly befriended started going too far. Just once. With a freshman in the hallway. It was the one time he found himself unable to turn a blind eye. In a rare display of courage, Parker Wiles stood up, got in between them, and said simply, "Enough." Unfortunately, fitness was never his strong suit, so of course, the very people he thought were friends turned on him instead.

But that's not what truly changed him. Instead of showing compassion for his plight, his parents were more confused as to why he'd risk his own skin for "some random kid."

This caused such a rift between himself and his family that he could never look at anything--his family, his friends, his clothes, his hometown--in the same way again. So as soon as he graduated, he took his ass out of that house and never looked back.

Having saved up an entire childhood's worth of allowance in cash, Parker had enough to cover rent for at least a year while he figured out what to do. Five years later, he works as a well-liked Latte Artist in San Myshuno (and he just might make it to management!) With the help of his neighbors, who are all ten times friendlier than anyone he knew back home, Parker has adjusted to a life he was taught to hate. He rejects the high-priced, sterile lifestyle for the vibrance and warmth of what he now knows is "community." He has been unlearning toxic tendencies and embracing new ones, with the hope that somewhere down the line, he'll have a family of his own, and do everything differently.

No. BETTER.

what do you think @theosconfessions????

[dutybcrne]

Random lil omegaverse hcs bc why tf not:

-Itto. Alpha. Has an earthy/fresh chopped wood scent. While he has absolute control of himself even around Omegas in heat and fellow Alphas in ruts, he is an absolute MENACE when he's the one in rut, in territorial aggression, how strong his pheromones are, and in terms of sex drive, but Shinobu usually has him handled when it comes down to it. It's especially difficult to manage due to him being part oni, as that nature makes his body highly resistant to suppressants. He really likes to scent his entire gang and leave his own on them, being VERY protective of his pack. He gets restless whenever one of the gang sets off to do something without everyone else in tow, and will 100% sulk and whine if they come back to him smelling of other pheromones ( even if unintentionally ) until he’s able to completely get rid of the foreign scent with his own. Surprisingly is the one who nests more than even the Omegas in his gang, and Demands the entire gang sleep dogpiled in it, outside those dealing with ruts and heats. No one has actually complained about it, since it makes them feel safer and at ease too, having all their scents intermingled.

-Kuki. Beta, though she is often mistaken for an Alpha by her posturing and ability to wrangle everyone in the gang, esp Itto, with such ease, as though she were issuing Commands. Itto claims she smells of sugar crystals and naku weeds, but she thinks he's mistaken it, though she can’t exactly perceive her own more subtle pheromones herself. Can charitably be called Itto's rut partner, but rather than really tending to his needs in that sense, she ( usually ) is more his keeper/guard than anything. Is very careful not to accidentally get bitched by him in the process of actually playing partner to him if he really needs the relief. She is on TOP of everyone's respective cycles and handmakes their suppressants herself. She's thankful her dynamic is what it is, because she doesn't know what she would do if she had to deal with everyone's scents mingling and fluctuating. Though at times she can almost fully perceive Itto's, but she chalks that up to him being so overbearing with his own scent. She was the one who picked up on how strong Itto’s pack instincts were and suggested he trying nesting with everyone to appease it—she secretly likes the togetherness of it all too.

-Kaeya. Omega. Smells of Inteyvats ( will say Calla lilies ) and a sharp hint of what most figure is Mint. While he has no qualms about serving as rut or even heat partner for his closest friends/associates, he personally loathes taking partners during his own heats. But if he must, he'll always prefer to go for a trusted Beta, even knowing it wouldn't help with it in the slightest. The fact that the scent glands on the right side of his neck have slight burn scars is a very sensitive topic to him, enough to sharpen his scent with a harsh, jarring stinging unpleasantness on mention. It is especially hair-raising for those who perceive that pheromone change ( or especially one that happens in a threat display, where it’s most notable ), due to his body being tarnished by Abyssal influence. He tends to wear perfumes to try and mask that odd edge to his pheromones, esp since he makes quite frequent use of them, in deliberately tending to posture and release them to ‘make up’ and distract from his damaged scent glands, soothing those who need it, or even in schmoozing up others for one reason or another. Which in turn always leaves him feeling a little woozy and with worsened migraines than what he may have already started his day with. Has a rather guttural threat display growl that strikingly resembles an Alpha’s ( though with a more Unnervingly inhuman note to it too ) because of him mimicking Diluc when growing up together, and the softest nost alluring little happy purr in contrast. He seldom if ever nests because he never feels truly Safe enough to. The closest he's got is a pile of blankets and cushions in Jean's office, and even then HE isn’t the one who makes it.

-Tartaglia. Omega. Smells of cherries and lime, with a slight metallic edge to it, though whether it's blood of his enemies on him or an Alteration that happened to his biology due to the time the Abyss had tainted him, it is unsure. He adamantly refuses to let Dottore find out. Is purposefully off his suppressants damn near half the time much to the chagrin of the other Harbingers, but it's because he figured out real quick his favorite way to handle his own heats is by fighting it out. Because anybody daring to try and get their hands on him without his permission is fair game to be roped into becoming an impromptu sparring buddy of his, even the other Harbingers can’t argue. The only ones who can get him to actually take his suppressants are Pierro ( he respects him ) and Columbina ( she scares him ). He likes to threat display on purpose sometimes because he thinks it's funny, watching the others, especially more physically imposing Alphas, around him get spooked. He makes the messiest scrappiest of nests, haphazardly tossed toegther on a whim, but he gets exceedingly hostile towards anyone who even tries getting close, more so even dares tamper with it. May the Tsaritsa protect anyone who happened to ‘clean it up’ thinking it a mere mess. His mates are Not exempt from this either, not unless he personally invited them to get close/touch it in that very moment.

Kaveh: Omega. Smells of Zaytun peaches. Actually prefers to top his partners, even Alphas. Especially Alphas. Keeps trying to keep track of his heats but they are exceedingly irregular, which stresses him to no end. Especially he can be a bit more susceptible to an Alpha's commands and pheromones than the typical Omega during his heats. Thankfully he's avoided any real danger in taking note how scents register to him to gauge if he’s in pre-heat or not, and acting accordingly. Is very on top of taking his suppressants ( made for him by Tighnari, since he's found his specific one most effective for himself ) too, which further helps prevent mishaps, to the point where many would assume he is a Beta, if they didn't know any better. Though at times those very suppressants do make him feel queasy, especially when drinking. Kaveh tends to nest with an article of clothing from each of his friends when he's not mated, and can and WILL hoard clothes from his mate once they are official. They WILL be required to nest with him.

-Diluc. Alpha. Smells of roasted coffee and a hint of sweet lampgrass. Is especially sensitive towards the scent of an Omega in distress, but in the sense that it makes him feel nauseous while spurring him into a protective mode. He's easily made hostile as a result, especially towards other Alphas, but in general too. He takes specific suppressants made by the church for that reason, especially when he's about to take on a shift at Angel's Share. Has an EXTREMELY loud growl and purr, the latter which he unintentionally scares people with. While both are exceedingly strong rumbles from deep in his chest ( many claiming it sounds like a brooding beast ) and are almost startlingly similar to each other, the best way to tell the difference is really how he's postured. He really does try so hard to not seem imposing or intimidating, but he is extremely unsuccessful. Due to the strength of his pheromones, he tends to always have scent patches on. Because he’s come to learn that, otherwise, he’ll accidentally sway the mood of the room with every shift of his own, particularly if there isn’t another scent that can properly counteract his. Which doesn’t tend to be often, outside the Angel’s Share. Absolutely hoards articles of clothing his closest ones leave in the Winery for comfort reasons—they will NOT get those back until the scent is gone, and he Will be moody while returning them ( which is why he hardly ever does so, face-to-face ).

-Jean. Alpha. Smells of dandelions and fresh cut grass. In order to better get along with those of any dynamic, including her own, she worked especially hard to make herself as non-intimidating as possible, always seeming to exude calming pheromones, though it inevitably gives her migraines after a while to keep it up. Will she stop releasing them even with this? Absolutely not. It would crush her if anyone so much as called her presence imposing, especially coming from one of her own subordinates. Though anyone will quickly be reminded of why she is known as the Lionfang Knight if they dare step out of line in an especially disgraceful manner/otherwise taking advantage of her intent of displaying a gentler nature in thinking they can. She always has the urge to scent her closest friends, to mark them as pack ( and is a lot more territorial than she lets on to boot, getting put in a Mood if they ever happen to smell of another she's unfamiliar/not pack-bonded with ) but is utterly mortified at the thought of bringing it up. Which is why she's happy whenever they come to her willingly and ask for her to do so unprompted. She is also very happy whenever a fellow knight takes refuge in her office, in citing what a calming presence she has, especially her closest friends. She always keeps nesting supplies in her office for that very reason.

-Lisa. Alpha. Smells of petrichor and valberries. Has a very imposing presence she masks under an easygoing personality, and has even put other Alphas on edge ( at best ) at the slightest shifts in her mood. Those closest to her will always end up thoroughly smelling of her scent when they meet her because she, like Jean, is very particular about marking special few as her 'pack'. She considers it a blessing hers and Jean’s pheromones work well together as a result. Her ruts tend to hit her hard ( which she believes is because of her lifespan being shortened by unnatural means ), and will seldom ask for a partner, in knowing just how overwhelming she will be. A certain captain and grandmaster may happen to volunteer more often than not, though, even if it takes a lot out of the both of them when they do. Most people don’t know she’s uttered a Command until it hits them—even a purred little tone doesn’t lessen the weight of it in the slightest. When she really wants to put off a task or hand it off to someone, she takes advantage of this ( while fully intending to reward the person she’s roped into it afterward, of course ). If any of the younger knights have any questions about secondary genders or need a quick supplement to their suppressants that won't negatively interact with them, she is the go-to person for the job. Because of how sensitive she is to other's pheromones, she often keeps suppressants for the Alphas and Omegas alike just in case she notices someone might need them.

-Albedo. Unknown. Has a chalky sort of scent that sets many on edge. Will say he's a Beta to keep things simple, but being an artificial being, it's really not. Being in his presence, especially when he lets out his pheromones or even attempts to mimic purring/growling, feels Unnerving to each dynamic, even Betas, like uncanny valley or even a deep biological reaction to a lurking threat for some. Kaeya is one of few with a determined dynamic who can put up with it, along with Sucrose and Timaeus, though Albedo thinks it’s because his and Kaeya’s pheromones/gestures have a similar edge to them, that they are comfortable enough with each other's. He doesn’t really have a true Response Instinct, but a fellow Khaenri’ahn stands a better chance of triggering one in him than any other in at all. It always leaves him feeling so very confused each and every time.

Venti. His pheromones tend to hold the scent of a crisp Red Delicious apple. As Archon, he can switch up his dynamic to whatever he wants, but tends to stick to Beta, so he doesn't accidentally set anyone off and and better mingle with his people overall without worrying about the extra hassles that come with having a dynamic. It may also depend on how much he wants to mess with a given friend's Response Instinct, shifting then purring idly to see how quickly they answer back or perk up. Which had nearly gotten him hurled like a Harpastum more than once. He will also switch up his dynamic if he sees a particular friend might need him to, whether to let off the right pheromones that won't set them off to calm them, or even serve as a more adequate/safer heat partner however they see fit, if they want him to be.

-Thoma. Omega, but as far as everyone else outside the Kamisatos is concerned, he is officially a Beta. This is done partly to protect him overall, but in particular so others looking to hurt the Yashiro Commission wouldn't take advantage of his secondary gender to do so. His scent is something like warm broth with a hint of cinnamon, which he is thankful he can play off quite easily since it's most noticeable in enclosed spaces. He is constantly but very subtly exuding calming pheromones—it is both on purpose ( be it to keep his fellow staff content or to disarm someone he’s dealing with, the latter which he definitely takes advantage of during meetings he's present at ) and unconsciously done ( he is always in such a good mood, they just ooze right out of him! ). Which makes him rather hungry/sleepy compared to others. He can make a stark difference 180 when dealing with hostile Alphas however; those flooding an area with their pheromones, or especially pestering Omegas or even Betas, WILL make him more inclined for hostile threat displays. He will attempt to mask them, but the lingering Urge to fight always has him a-buzzing and restless in the process. In such cases; he hopes there’s plenty of tasks left to do for him to take care of, or he will Create tasks for himself.