#and will deny EVER caring about them
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Its not the first time Atlas has raised kids, but it IS his first time raising Tieflings.
He's less than thrilled.
Trinket and Bauble belong to @owlcatchyoul8r
#Atlas#myg#fae form Atlas#Trinket and Bauble the Tieflings#tiefling#tales of alor#he'll help raise them but he'll complain about it the entire time#and will deny EVER caring about them#they give him the willies#the heebie jeebies if you would#because he doesnt trust anything that doesnt catch on fire#and devil kin are triiiiiicky#and they're pointy and climb him too much#but dont touch them those are his kids#tablet doodle
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yk when i think about it, especially when im watching the anime with people who havent read the manga, the reason a lot of people who only watch the anime and didnt read the manga misinterpreted saikis character so badly is definitely in part because of how damn fast paced the anime is 😭
like that little smile and eye shine frame is there for not even half a second in the anime, so its easier to miss it and assume that he really did only finish those workbooks to get coffee jelly ☠️ its much more clear if you get a good look at how he reacts here that hes just a silly little tsundere and a fucking liar
#this might be really obvious but im silly#LET ME YAP !!#dont read this as me making fun of anime only fans#i was literally one until like a few months ago#i just think its unfortunate how different the vibe is#obviously i love the anime though#there are still some things i straight up don't understand how people miss though#like people who watch the whole anime and still think saiki hates teruhashi or nendo specifically#like ? he has some of his most affectionate scenes with them#but i think maybe its because they missed so many of the more subtle details#that by the time they see saikis offu or him saying he and teruhashi make a great team.. it appears more sudden to them than it really is#so they either completely ignore those scenes or dismiss them as fanservice#ugh#its. literally not fan service at all and makes perfect sense if you pay attention#idk how u can watch the sweetest line ever 'we're invincible together' and deny that saiki cares about teruhashi#in general its actually just impossible to end the show thinking he hates any of his friends unless u just ignored things on purpose#even if u ended at the first season like a lot of people#but im just saying i guess i get why its a little less obvious in the show#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post
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Hi Lexi
What do you think of partially blinded Vi? You never seem to draw her that way, and I kind of just wanted to know what do you think of it as a certified Vi lover.
I personally think that while something like this can be "cool" (as in, being beneficial to the character design), it's handled quite poor for Vi and it just looks a bit... ungrateful. Simply doesn't look good, doesn't fit her personality or character (am I missing something?) and it doesn't seem to fit or suit her...unlike Kenny's iconic eyepatch. To me, it has become a pivotal thing in his design to a degree in which Kenny with both eyes seems a bit odd looking. I see it as a symbol which stands for Ken being a martyr and all he's lost and sacrificed. He is all about family and helping those he loved, his loved ones truly were the "apple of his eye". It all makes sense, doesn't it?
But for Vi, it's excatly the opposite. I'm just so sorry to see her like this. 😭😭😭 I don't think it makes sense in any way. Louis losing his tongue because he's so talkative and "won't shut up" does kind of make sense, but I cant help but see Violet losing sight as kind of lazy writing. "We need something bad happening to her!!! suffer the children!!!'- the writers exclaimed.
i think vi losing her eyesight is incredibly impactful on her character and i honestly dont understand why some people say its lazy writing. especially since it was foreshadowed multiple times. vi losing her eyesight i think is even more impactful on her character than louis losing his tongue because at least louis still has his music to express himself and uplift spirits through (and its not like he cant communicate At All. his note still makes clem laugh). the reason i dont draw blind vi very often is because of how sad it is to me. for multiple reasons
violets whole thing is wanting to be able to protect the people she cares about, and feels immense grief and guilt about the times she feels shes failed them (thinks if she had been there with the twins that day that she couldve done something to save them. feels she failed everyone taken by the raiders. is scared of failing clem too "if something happened to you because of me? i cant lose you too. i wont". its why she cant leave minnie after shooting her. and a kidnapped vi attacks clem because she doesnt want anyone else to get hurt. hell it even ties back to her grandma and feeling guilty about not doing anything for her)
so for her to lose her eyesight? she took pride in her ability to fight and now she cant do that anymore. cant protect the people she loves. and as someone who started the season as an isolated loner, it forces her to rely on those around her for help, stripping her of her independence (and her independence is what allowed her to stand up against the group for clem when it came to the marlon situation in ep2). a blinded vi is forced into accepting community, whereas a saved violet accepts it on her own. her and clem turn ericsons into the home violet could never see it as
the other reason blind vi makes me so sad is that it is Directly a result of clems actions. kidnapped vi had nothing and wanted nothing to do with the bomb, and yet shes the ONLY ONE who gets hurt by it. clem choosing to let vi be taken means clem both breaks her heart, and then burns out her eyes. louis and his tongue is between him and lilly and was a choice THEY each made outside of clems direct influence (even if it was clem who inspired him to speak up, it is ultimately his choice to keep talking, and lilly hurts him for it. its sad he gets punished for a character moment, but clem had no direct hand in him losing his tongue. its why hes not angry to see her in the cell. he doesnt blame clem for what happened), but the way vi is feeling in that cell is DIRECTLY due to clems actions. vi feels like clem abandoned her after she had put herself on the line for her multiple times. she always had clems back but clem didnt have hers. clem is the one who planted the bomb and vi gets caught in the blast. clem hurts her emotionally And physically. and vi apologizes for getting upset (she tries to apologize on the beach too before theyre forced out in the cart, so she felt wrong for those actions immediately even tho they were understandable. lilly and minnie used her moment of weakness to get in her head. she just wanted everyone to be safe)
kidnapped blinded vi is just so incredibly sad to me, especially when you compare her to a fully realized violet. a violet who has come into herself, has confidence, has opened up, has stopped pushing people away out of fear and lets herself love again. shes a leader. a fighter. a protector. and those are all things a blinded violet loses
neither vi losing her eyes or louis losing his tongue is supposed to add anything to their characters. its about what theyve lost. both of them have important parts of their identity stripped away from them after being taken by the delta. its supposed to be sad. heartbreaking. regrettable. unfortunate. they have not gained anything by their time at the delta, only lost important parts of themselves to it
#twdg#like idk to me kennys eyepatch symbolizes his descent into madness. its the impact carver had on him#hes 'lost his sight' hes losing his way. becoming a danger to the people he says he cares about#kenny gets waaaay too much forgiveness in the fandom and i cant take it honestly. his motivations dont justify his actions#i dont hate him but god do i hate the way the fandom talks about him#esp when certain kenny stans ignore all the protagonists and hate all the women/anyone who opposes a protagonists views/actions#EXCEPT for kenny for some reason???? like when he opposes lee its fine but no one else can do it#you cannot deny hes a scary man by the end of s2 regardless of his motivations and people loooooove to handwave it away#i hate that 'family is family' crap#have none of you ever had a family member do something so horrible that you cut them out of your life completely?#HES NOT EVEN BLOOD FAMILY like that idea doesnt even apply here!!#the whole point of that phrase is that you cant choose who youre related to. twdg is LITERALLY about choosing your family#s3 is the one that makes a point to address blood relations and what worth they have#ok unexpected kenny rant over sorry but boy does the overwhelming kenny love get to me sometimes. there are other characters#sorry i hope this doesnt sound directed at you personally its just the overwhelming fan opinion i see and it drives me mad#where is the NUANCE??#replies with lexi#plamglam
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Martyn hels?
what more can i say about martin onthebiggerlog…
physically, he’s pretty similar to martyn except he never got snatched by the watchers so he still has both eyes. he’s still a listener like his counterpart though, and over the years he’s attracted an audience of some rather sadistic watchers that love to egg him on.
he loves putting on a show for them by picking fights and playing tricks on random hels denizens, always accompanied by his typical witty banter/insults and maniacal laughter. but after he’s sated their craving for entertainment and the whispers stop, he’s actually quite desperately lonely.
he doesn’t know that watchers all used to be players. i think he’d be really hurt to find out that the watchers would rather keep him in hels as their own personal entertainment instead of bringing him up to their level as a watcher. he’d give up his eyes in a heartbeat to belong with them.
#hels to pay au#HTP cast#he’s prob the closest thing that hels has to an actual youtuber/influencer#always doing what he can for his ‘fans’ to shower him w praise and attention#but in the end they don’t care about him they just care about what crazy thing he’ll do next to entertain them#and if he ever denies them? you best BELIEVE that chat will turn nasty
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for people whose job is dealing with mentally ill people therapists sure get very uncomfortable when you cry or express any negative thoughts or feelings or are suicidal or suggest you may have a mental illness
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my honest opinion about the "futa was guilt tripping es and only regrets what he did because hes in pain now" crowd, and by proxy, any criticism on the other prisoners' display of remorse or general attitude around their actions
Didnt feel like copypasting this as a post the screenshots will have to do
#milgram#fuuta kajiyama#fuuta milgram#not a theory more like a rant#i have such a strong disdain against milgram as a system#you will never catch me not defending the prisoners#if i ever critisize them its for their own good#i will never deny their flaws#but i will support their “flawed” behaviour towards milgram as long as they dont hurt others now#i mean even kotoko now... i cant come to fully hate her. because shes just another tool for milgram to play torture games on these people#a tool that will soon be discarded and granted the same torture she perhaps avoided til now#i dont care how much it seems like they lack empathy or remorse for what they did. i will never demand this from them in milgram#milgram doesnt deserve to demand any attitude or reaction from them#and i consider anyone that puts the prisoners under this microscope in fvaor of milgram to be part of it#so i will be against it too. i dont care if im wrong about my readings on the characters
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every so often i will see a post from a leftist on this website that is so egregiously ableist that i remember that like. oh yeah the userbase of leftists on this website is violently anti-disabled people and will jump at any chance to demonize any of us for any reason. i just forget that fact because i'm extremely dedicated to curating my space
i'm paraphrasing here but i saw a post that said, "every time i see an American [disabled person] mention being scared about the election because they're afraid of losing their benefits i have to laugh. anybody who wants blood-soaked money from the US government deserves to starve" which. like. goodness that's a lot to unpack. i think we should burn the whole suitcase instead !
#i inserted [disabled person] because they used a fucking slur instead and i didn't want that in my post#like i feel like there should be room for disabled people like me whose lives literally entirely depend on accessing said >#> extremely limited benefits in conversations about whether voting in this election makes you complicit in genocide#which like! i do understand. i do. it's nauseating to think about what this shit ass country is doing. it's horrific. i do not blame anyone#> for not wanting to be a part of that. *and* i am also terrified for my own life because i remember the first time trump won it suddenly >#> became IMPOSSIBLE for ANYONE to get on benefits. EVER. and so many disabled ppl i know went to renew benefits theyd had for decades >#> just to be denied. one of whom was a below-the-neck paraplegic. he died because he lost those benefits!!! because trump won#i really do understand why people dont feel right voting for harris. or why they don't vote at all. i truly do. but holy shit i am so scare#and yes! i am aware that people in palestine and gaza are suffering so much worse. and i wish i could change that#but every single person in power in the US is pro-israel and eagerly drinking the anti-palestine kool-aid. no matter who wins >#> things will not change in that part of the world. and it is infuriating. when the revolution comes this will change. but it hasnt.#the revolution will not save me as a physically disabled person. it will not save any of us. we do not matter to leftists. i am sorry but >#> this is the one thing i have learned after being in leftist spaces for over 10 years. and posts like the one i mentioned prove it#so i am very sorry. i really am. for being physically disabled. but i cannot survive another 4 years relying on my parents for everything#if trump wins i will be killing myself. this is a promise. i cannot do that again#i know it makes me a bad person to be afraid that harris will lose. but people on the left already think i'm a bad person for being disable#i want the genocide to stop. i absolutely do. i also want to survive. i am terrified that the US leftists will sacrifice disabled people#like me so they can feel good about being put in a real life trolley situation#again. im sorry. im so fucking sorry. i wish i was a better person. i wish i was able to give more. i know that if i was just a good#person i would be able to have a job and give to every palestinian gofundme on my dash. i would be able to do more than my daily clicks >#> and reaching out and calling representatives that don't care. if i was a good person i would be able to convince my parents that z*onism>#is deeply fucking racist. and that israel is wildly racist and killing palestinians for fun. if i was a good person i would be able to make#>them leftists too. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry im not good enough. im sorry that im scared. im so scared and it's not right for me to be#when so much worse is going on because of this countrys bloodlust. im sorry that im benefiting from being born here i dont want to be#im sorry for not having any other options. if i was a good person i know i would have them. im sorry. god im sorry im so fucking sorry
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#they don't care about marriage in any traditional sense but they do care about having gotten married. does that make sense#the eternal bonding pilgrimage allowed them to retrace something important to both of them. makes them feel closer to louisoix#and also the legal thing#bc l'aiha knows goddamn well if y'shtola is ever denied from seeing her when she's fucked up she'll burn the whole place down HFJKDGHJDLGJD#yoshi talks#l'aiha#y'shtola#shtolaiha#wol questions#about#wolshtola
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art students are suuuuch babies dude i actually can't believe all the profs are so nice i'd be grabbing people by the shoulders and shaking them and yelling "JUST REMIX THE FUCKING COLOR WHY HAVE YOU TAKEN 3 PAINTING CLASSES AND YOU STILL WONT EVEN ATTEMPT TO MATCH A COLOR THAT YOU MIXED BEFORE WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING THIS WHOLE TIME DO YOU HAVE LITERALLY NO DESIRE TO IMPROVE OR DO YOU HONESTLY THINK THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND THE PERSON WHO IS ALWAYS MAKING INCREIDBLE WORK IS ONLY OUTSIDE FACTORS YOU CLAIM TO HAVE NO CONTROL OVER RATHER THAN WORK AND A WILLINGNESS TO TRY CHALLENGING THINGS
#i actually was talking about this w one of my classmates during lunch today we were like yeah i feel like there's a lot of people who just#have tons of excuses all the time and don't really take it seriously and don't want to actually try hard#like in our classes we have noticed a lot of people like this this semester. and we have the little chat and then we go to class and the#whole time our other classmate is crying to me abt how her paints that she had mixed got too wet? in her stay wet palette bc i guess she put#too much water on the sponge? idk i use paper towels in a tupperware so idk what her struggle was.... 30 dollar palette btw....#anyway she was crying to me the whole time about how she couldn't possibly use those paints and i was like. cant you squeeze out more paint#to correct the consistency? and she was like no i can't remix them i don't remember what colors i used to get these specific colors#and i'm sitting there like. okayyyy. and then i was like can you not just use the watered down paints i think it actually is better bc you#can get really subtle blends and build it up slowly (the entire point of the assignment btw) and she was like no it's too watery even for#that (it wasn't) i encourage her to try anyway and she starts putting it down making no effort to blend in between layers and shows it to me#and it of course looks awful and she's like seeee it doesn't work. okay girl sure i guess just don't fucking do the assignment see if i care#like why are you complaining to me why are you not just MAKING AN ATTEMPT TO GET BETTER AT SOMETHING#what do you think school is FOR#and of course she had a headache. and of course she didn't sleep well. and one million other things. you're not gonna make it. you're gonna#apply for the bfa program and they're gonna deny you and you're gonna make up some reason it somehow wasn't your fault#god i hate to be mean i think it's valid to struggle and get frustrated OF COURSE i do it all the time but i never ever see her just like.#make something. without making up a million reasons why she could t do x better or get it done even CLOSE to on time#and there's like 6 of this girl. but she's the one who sits next to me so it just drives me extra!!! crazy!!!
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wont lie the canada davis cup team is making me a little emotional…… i don’t even need to lay out the narratives they’re right there for all to see. the power of love and friendship might be enough to win out
#like actually kind of tearing up a bit. did you know those are my fucking guys?????? my day one best friends ever???#I CARES ABOUT THEM SINCE BEFORE I CARED ABOUT TENNIS. I SAW THEM AS KIDS.#and also. i was so sure we were in shauger divorce era this past year and look at them now. we are so back#tennis#maybe denis will finally invite felix to his wedding after this lol
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.
#big gender rant ahead i just need to write down my thoughts#personal#so i think im a he/him trans lesbian??#i think ive been denying my feminine side for a long time now but middle school me was right. well. half right#idk why id built up some weird barrier in my mind about being trans and being a lesbian#but now im like more sure than ever#i still dont know if i could call myself a woman. and i thought i was so adamant about not using she/her again but it honestly?#doesn't bother me that much anymore. its not my preference but its not as soul crushing as it used to be#i have these weird subliminal gender rules for myself that ive been beating myself down with even though i#understand that theyre fake and dont hold anyone else to them. so why have a double standard? cant i have a fun gender?#ever since high school its been an uphill battle just letting myself live freely and having self confidence#i just turned 24. i dont have to be beholden to stupid hormonal teenage self loathing anymore#the world is a beautiful place and gender is just made up anyway. so why cant i be trans and butch? who cares??#i think i worded it well in my last personal post. ive been living a gender of convenience#but fuck that! i want the gender that makes sense to me! that makes me happy! its my life and i should live it how i want to!#...i still have some regrets about my top surgery. i wish i wasnt so weirdly flat chested now.#but hopefully the fat will redistribute eventually and itll look more natural as the years go on..#but i definitely dont regret going on T. i love my deep voice and my body hair#anyway if you've read this far thanks for listening to my mad ramblings#and dont forget you can have a fun gender too!
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literally in distress over my job rejecting my availability
#like....#okay#i'm already on holiday for two weeks - paid#and what i wanted was a couple of days extra (unpaid) so i could stay at home longer#and every time i tried talking to my manager she brushed me off#last time i talked to her she said “no that's enough you're not changing anything else”#but like? once i asked her to confirm the dates because our weeks don't follow the usual pattern#the other - i had put in a request for two days ahead of my holiday (turns out one of them was already included but that's not the point)#which they ignored - literally no approval or denial#instead they just put me on a shift#which i did end up asking about - essentially agreeing to do another shift they needed cover for if they took me off that shift#that's all#and when we talked last i had to remind her to take that shift off as she had agreed to. this is when i also mentioned my availability req#which she had been 'too busy to look at'#today i found out she denied it#which like. okay. there might not be enough people etc etc but i would've liked a chance to talk about it?#best believe that next time i'm in - which is only tuesday when they'll probs already have me scheduled for new shifts already#i'll ask why#and i'm sure nothing will change because they don't care#but i'm in such a state#i have never been so homesick. i am quite literally holding on by a thread here. and i only ever go home like...once a year#one year it was twice but the second time was for four days#i NEED this#but i couldn't even tell them this#anyways#just needed to put this somewhere because my god
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I love the trope of having an all-around sweet, gentle and mostly pacifistic character get pushed to the point where they break in some irreparable way and no longer let anyone use them as a doormat...
Usually, this happens after they have continually suffered at the hands of others with it all culminating into one moment where they let all the pain they've suffered be returned ten-fold on the ones that have hurt them.
However, I'm more fond of the version where a nice character has one, maybe two, other people that they cherish above all else. These people are who this character lives and dies for. Then, someone hurts those people and this normally nice character goes silent, still and their face is just one of pure rage. All Hell breaks loose and no person is safe from the unfiltered, unrivalled fury that this normally sweet character holds within their body.
#{ 🍒 out of character post }#[This is how I imagine Vincent]#[Normally a very quiet and oddly gentle person who doesn't raise their voice too high or really ever react when people mistreat them]#[Then when someone hurts someone they care about; all bets are off]#[They let themself rage in a way they usually deny themself]
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i keep looking at posts like "i stopped a binge" "i prevented a binge" and all of them are like. "i waited until the urge went away". buddy. the urge doesn't go away. there's no urge. there's just nothing else to do. i don't have anything else to do. every time i stop eating no matter how long i sit with the feeling or not, i always go for more food because there is genuinely nothing else in my life. nothing is enjoyable anymore. the world sucks. no matter what i force myself to do it's the only positive thing i can ever find.
#like okay cool i let the people around me guilt me into eating whatever they think i should be eating#i get it. i'm so fucking stupid for missing out opportunities to try new food. i should never buy the same food twice.#i should always buy all the variety i can and try everything.#i'm so stupid for having eaten the same stuff in a loop for years and years#i'm a massive fucking weirdo for not eating when other people are eating#i keep stealing food from my parents and the people around me i keep taking way too much of stuff intended for a group#nowhere i go will be free of obligations#i have to keep buying my own poison because everywhere i go there's other people's food waiting for me anyway#my parents keep looking at me like a freak no matter if i eat dinner with them or not#they see me binge and nothing happens#we just ignore it#i just eat until Designated Eating Time is finished#hunger doesnt ever have anything to do with it i just eat when food's in front of me#i need the ritual i need the structure it brings to my life#both meals with other people and my ritual binges#i dont know what to do with myself when i'm not binging#and it's like i'm not allowed to not want food#to other people#it's like i must necessarily want all food and anytime i refuse it's restriction#my friends are always like ooooh you can grab some of my fries if you want#or oooooh do you want the rest of my cookie#or ooooooh and how about you are you ordering something#and i'm like :) yeah sure :) like anybody else would :)#and to myself. to myself i don't know. i think i just want to give up. i want to suffer and i want to fuck up so badly.#so badly that no one can deny i need help#i want to be proven right. i'm just a little weakling and all i'm good for is to haunt the halls of a mental hospital.#no responsabilities no pressure nothing but a pitiable suffering victim#i want somebody or something to swoop in and save me#but nobody will come. it's my job to ask for reasonable help from the relevant authorities. and currently they can't offer that care.#so fuck me i guess
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mm i Neeed to go the beach
#just me hi#wauhuhh !#something about just drifting around in water that i am slightly scared of that really makes my brain whir happily lol :>#i am slightly scared of it for two major reasons: 1) fish. lord the fish why are they so scary 2) sometimes i think i'll drown and they jus#won't find the body. which is less rational than the fish so that's why fish is my number 1 fear at all times lmao#/i think out of all the animals on the planet i am the most scared of ordinary fish. not even the deep sea stuff hfbshv#cuz look they're so far down there you Have to assume they look funked. and also they prolly don't like human meat. so it's cool#but regular fish?? some of them eat birds. they eat birds dude. what would they do to me if they knew how to use harpoons??#also they for SURE eat corpses so we loop back to fear no. 2 really just being fear no. 1 hbfhs#/see i'm not even that scared of the animals my parents are determined on exploding. like man if i get eaten that was prolly bound#to happen anyway. i Know how that goes. i know what mauling is lol#i am the only person in this house who will walk around outside on a moonless light w/ no flashlight because if i was sposed to be dead i#can guaranteE there are much better opportunities. funnier ones‚ too#/just looked it up bobcats are SHY little guys. they are just shy babies. except for when they have rabies :)#shy rabies babies <3#/anyway back to the fish. i don't like how there are some that specifically like to eat human skin. mmm no i have never liked that ever not#one little bit. makes my skin crawl hghfsh#i don't care what it does or can do that is NOT cool lil dude ;w;#/hang on i'm googling 'weirdest things fish eat' because i want to scare myself i guess hbfhvbsf :'3#they're only showing me weird fish!!! no !! tell me about a fish that's living exclusively off of plastics!! or car tires !! come on !!!#these guys are just funky looking. and just Kinda funky looking. though this humphead guy is funny lol :)#he looks scary but with a charm that i can't deny#his forehead. and mouf. this guy is awesome#and of course he's endangered because the world is exploding. but it's so cool he exists :D#//anyway fish are scary. and miss humphead is Huge so goofiness aside he's also scary hhfbvs#also why do some of those motherfunkers swim close to shore and bite at you. those guys suck so bad#that's only happened to me so many times but enough for me to have a fear that has lasted for over half a decade lmao#//and anywho i'm running out of tag space lol :)#we're going ot the park!! i'm going to skate :DD !!#i wanna get good at my old stuff again hfsh - so bye! bye !! toodles !!!
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When people are unironically using the terms TMEs/TMAs or AFABs/AMABs or 'men, women and enbies' or fucking 'theyfabs'
#yes this is most often to try to deny some group experiences any abuse or oppression#some people need to be barred from ever talking about gender#until they learn about nuance#and to stop trying to reduce everything and everyone#down to a binary or *maybe* a trinary#also to stop trying to reduce everything down to a binary that's like#'the most oppressed ever can never have any privilege' and 'oppressors with every form of power and privilege'#also to learn to care about people whose experiences are even slightly different to theirs#I've even seen this on some post which was demanding 'TMEs' read it#as if it's about something that anyone deemed to be a 'TME' can't experience#and what is the post actually about? being misgendered#because absolutely nobody else can ever be deliberately misgendered#by someone who's meant to support or help them /sarcasm#I am sorry I truly am for everyone else going through any kind of shit like this#but your experiences do not give you any right to be bigoted or hateful or invalidating#or to try to deny the oppression of anyone else#and no this is not just about criticising trans women who do this so many people do this#trans people of all genders do this cis people do this#and I'm fucking tired of it
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