#he’s the reason this breakup started off so fucking traumatic

[hoeforcheol]

The one day I need silence and relaxation and her dumbass brother has to come home early and start gassing the house with fucking onions

[markantonys]

Speculation on any Randlayne and RandAvi interactions for s3?

my favorite topic of speculation!! everything i'm about to say i've probably said already because i love to just yap on about the same things i've said a thousand times jdkfgj and also because we still have so little s3 info that my speculation hasn't changed much in the year since s2 ended. but onwards!

so, given that they teed up a connection between rand & elayne at the end of 2x08 but that we know these two will be in different locations for most of s3, i'm certain they'll get some good interactions in during 3x01 before parting ways. nothing serious yet, just some friendship bonding and unconscious flirty vibes i.e. the audience is picking up that they're attracted to each other but neither of them is flirting on purpose or is aware that they're developing a crush. they'll likely only have one episode together before parting, plus rand is still reeling from the whole lanfear situationship, plus elayne's bestie is his ex-almost-fiancee (i'm sure the final randgwene breakup will happen pretty promptly in 3x01, but still, the audience would probably feel egwene's toes are being stepped on if her bestie starts kissing rand later in the very same episode), so those are all reasons against anything concrete happening this soon for randlayne.

the egwene complication is interesting to ponder! i COULD imagine a scenario where elayne genuinely does not know about rand & egwene's whole Thing for quite some time because everybody's too traumatized to bother giving her the in-depth gossip, and thus she develops a fast crush on rand while having no clue he's her bestie's ex (and then feels guilty when she inevitably finds out). on the other hand, i could imagine a book-esque version where egwene clocks that elayne is feeling some type of way about rand and is all like "hey if you're into rand that's cool with me, he and i are over" right upfront in 3x01, so that even if elayne doesn't act on it yet (which i doubt she would) she and the audience could rest easy in the knowledge that egwene would be okay with it. back to the first hand, i could imagine elayne and egwene not having this convo until a reunion sometime in a future season at which point elayne's like "i have a confession, i have a crush on your ex" and egwene's like "weeeeeeeeeeell i have a crush on your brother so let's call it even" djkjfgh

now for aviendha, i'm also fairly confident in predicting avilayne interaction(s) in 3x01 too, though how many and what nature, who knows! but it would be good to establish that elayne gets on well with both rand and aviendha to lay the groundwork for our polycule before she gets separated from both of them for the rest of the season, so i think the show will try to give her time with both of them in 3x01. again, i think it'd be friendship bonding vibes with at most little hints of a budding crush (which will probably go over straight viewers' heads lmao). book events make it very easy to give elayne and aviendha significant time together later in the story, so we can afford to take their relationship the slowest of the three. but rand's schedule is packed, so he's got to get romancing!

thus my prediction is: light randlayne & avilayne setup in 3x01, but avirand happens first, followed by randlayne, followed by avilayne (and min/rand). i do not think we'll fuck about with rand being in constant It's Complicated facebook relationship statuses with everyone and repeatedly getting together with someone but then kind of breaking up but then still sort of being together etc. instead, i think that nothing will have actually happened between randlayne yet when he heads off to the waste, and that avirand will become a permanent couple by late s3 or early s4, and that elayne will get added into their established relationship in s4ish, so we'll just go straight from couple to V (to throuple) without any stops in It's Complicated Land. we do not have time to mess around!

on this point, i think the show will let them be more intentional about forming their relationship. in the books, it's a combination of "rand has zero clue what's going on and winds up in a polycule by accident thanks to the power of miscommunication" and "fate said we had to do this, so let's do it" (followed by organic hey-i-now-genuinely-want-this-polycule development for elayne and avi, thankfully, but not for min). i'd expect the fate element to still be at play for min/rand because that's a unique aspect of their specific romance, given min's powers, but it doesn't need to be involved in avirandlayne and i'd prefer if it wasn't, so as not to overuse Prophecy Romance (which will also need to be an element of mat/tuon; 2 Prophecy Romances are plenty imo). if the three of them all meet and spark with each other, and if the first randmance to happen is the one with the partner from a poly-normalized culture who teaches him all about it, then we're perfectly set up for avirand to see elayne across the bar and dig her vibes and ask her to join. no narrative need for any of the three of them to be aware that their relationships are Fated! i'd like it very much if the show reserved that just to be the unique angle for min/rand, and treated avirandlayne just the same as any monogamous romance like lanaeve that develops naturally because they like each other.

moving on. i think avirand's romance arc will be fairly similar to the book version. enemies to lovers, forced to share a tent because the wise ones want her to teach him aiel ways and spy on him, push-and-pull tension as they both fight their attraction to each other, etc etc, it's all good stuff that just needs a little refinement for the show. i'd predict the biggest changes might be a) TSR-TFOH avirand development is condensed into one season so that their romance arc is complete by the end of s3, b) rand having had a serious relationship with lanfear might affect things (one of his reasons for fighting his attraction to aviendha, perhaps, to protect her from lanfear's jealousy and/or because he's feeling too shaken to let romance into his life again after such a betrayal), and c) aviendha's angst over Betraying Elayne won't be present since elayne isn't involved with him yet, and thus we get to steer well clear of any polyamory & cheating associations that the books flirt with way too much for my taste. or maybe it would be replaced by angst over Betraying Egwene, who is also aviendha's friend who's been involved with rand, but unlike with elayne in the books, egwene is fully done with rand AND is physically present with aviendha to be able to give her her blessing and absolve her of any guilt over liking rand. so either way, we'll avoid having betrayal as the foundation of avirand/avirandlayne, which will be a big improvement for me.

and aviendha and elayne can still have their relationship arc without the whole thing about aviendha wanting to meet her toh to elayne for sleeping with her boyfriend! instead, aviendha is solidly with rand but can see that there are some vibes going on between him and elayne, so she decides to become closer to elayne in hopes of taking her for a sister-wife. and then ends up taking her for a wife-wife <3 though i'd still predict a timeline where they're both dating rand first, and aviendha's like "since we're both dating rand, we need to get to know each other better to become first-sisters" and then their arc gets going.

now let's circle back to the timing. a potential new piece of speculation that i remember doing in a big tag ramble but maybe not in an actual post: jorin the sea folk windfinder's actress has the block 3 director listed on her CV. if this is accurate, that means the sea folk will be showing up in episode 5 and/or 6 - aka NOT showing up to transport elayne & nynaeve from falme to tanchico, because unless they spend the first half the season on a different plotline or a huge detour (which we have no reason to suspect as of now), they would be there already. so why would jorin be appearing that late in the season? do the girls meet her in the tanchico harbor and not travel with her? but them actually traveling on a sea folk ship is fairly significant since it's what lets them figure out that windfinders can channel. so, could the girls perhaps be taking a sea voyage in the second half of the season? say, chasing moghedien from tanchico over to the east coast whereupon they reunite with the waste crew? perhaps in tear for the stone battle, and sammael is introduced in tear at the end of the season and teed up to be one of the big antagonists of s4?

i know that with the finale title speculated to be "he who comes with the dawn" everyone's assuming alcair dal will be the s3 finale, just like it's the TSR finale. and i won't be surprised if that's the case. buuuuuuuut i also won't be surprised if "he who comes with the dawn" is used a little more loosely, as episode titles often are, and the finale is instead rand taking callandor at the stone - still a big Rand Proclaiming Himself moment in which aiel are involved, even if it isn't his literal he who comes with the dawn car'a'carn proclamation. on the other hand, we can feel pretty certain that moiraine v. lanfear mutual doorway yeeting will occur in the season finale, so it might make more sense to have them still be in the waste and fold that into rand's rhuidean showdown, rather than following the book route of carting the doorway back to the wetlands with them. but then, if it's true that mat isn't in the waste plotline, then would there even BE a redstone doorway in rhuidean?? could they just plonk one down in whatever location they want the moiraine v. lanfear showdown to be? i don't know, there's just way too many variables for me to be able to make any solid predictions for how the end of the season might shape up, and i'm getting way off topic anyway haha

SO tldr, jorin in block 3 makes me wonder if elayne could potentially get ferried over to reunite with rand and aviendha towards the end of s3, rather than not until s4. but regardless, i do think she will reunite with them after her tanchico stuff is complete. imo elayne and nynaeve don't need to go to salidar (all that happens there is nynaeve encounters siuan & logain and heals gentling/stilling, which could happen anywhere, and that egwene raises them to full sisters which could happen in absentia or later in the story), and i'm sorry to the circus fans but it's complete filler so that's definitely not happening, and if mat does indeed go with the girls to tanchico then i strongly suspect it would be an amalgamation with the ebou dar trip and thus that would be removed from the girls' future schedules, and THUS elayne and nynaeve could join up with the waste crew in s4 and spend some quality time with all those characters, join rand for the "retaking caemlyn from a forsaken" outing, and then launch straight into their caemlyn storylines (and/or nynaeve launch straight into the cleansing storyline with rand). and this would fit with comments rafe/josha/ceara (i forget exactly who) have made about rand and elayne having a big story together; if you're not trying to arbitrarily keep elayne away from rand so that he can remain Single On A Miscommunication-Induced Technicality long enough to hook up with min, then it's an absolute no-brainer for them to share the Retaking Caemlyn storyline. so i feel optimistic in predicting that for s4!

[erasawordsmithofsorts]

this is a really long post and you dont have to read it, its more of a word vomit towards the end but its really detailing my experiences with 5sos c: (its kind of sad but it means a lot to me that i finally put this into words)

i love 5sos. like a lot more than i could put into words. i have such a long and extensive history with this band that its just so much, like.

ive been a fan of 5sos since july 15th, 2014. i was 5/6 years old sitting on the front porch of my grandma's house with this girl i was friends with. she showed me some of their songs and i was in love. i didnt stop listening to them for years, they were my everything. idols, best friends, family, everything. and the only reason i stopped listening to them ever is because of some really heavy traumatic events that happened to me when i was 8-10 years old.

fast forward a few years, i start dating this guy. this guy really liked 5sos, he got me back into 5sos. my brain was so traumatized, it blocked out most of my memories with this band, with the fans of this band, etc. and him getting me to listen to their entire discography? yeah that brought them flooding back.

yet i still stayed, with him and the band again. this guy became really toxic. we argued every night, he blatantly ignored my needs, he got mad at me for getting more 5sos streams than him, he made fun of me for only listening to their old stuff. he acted like i hadnt told him, "hey, some really fucked up things happened to me in 2014-2016 and i forgot pretty much everything from those years so i kind of obsess over them"

but me and this guy were ldr, my mom took my phone, i texted him through a friends' phone. he starts cheating on me. i come back, my mom is having heart surgery, and he tells me i have to break up with him. so i do.

i break up with him, i go through the shit, i get pissed off, i get upset, i cry. i cry a LOT. and for a bit i didnt listen to 5sos. and then i get back into 5sos, because im not gonna change who i am at my very core because some idiot guy who was 'there first' made it about him. i'll make it about me again, i will obsess over it, i will go back to being six years old crying on the front porch with my best friend. i will go back to being a kid who didnt know why people didnt like her.

and i did. im back there, im who six year old me dreamed of being. sure, i have my days where the only thing i can do is cry and try not to hurl myself down a flight of stairs, but im still here arent i? ive made it to the age i always dreamed about being, havent i? im still absolutely in love with the same exact bands, the same exact places, the same exact aesthetics.

5sos is why im me, like that is such a beautiful and poetic thing to me. im still here because of a band, im still here because some guys that at the time were across the world gave me some motivation to keep going? of course im gonna love them. of course im gonna advertise the shit out of them. of course im gonna know every detail i possibly can about them.

like, i mean yeah, i took a little break. but i was forced to by my own brain. and even then, what helped me start healing form that trauma? 5sos. what helped me start healing from that breakup? 5sos.

tw for s/h + suicidal stuff under the cut! its nothing bad bad, just mentions attempts and stuff but its talking about getting better :3 tl;dr in bottom of the cut!

its so weird to say that "this guy who doesnt even know i exist, saved my life" but its true sometimes. like i was in such a bad place when i was younger that i couldnt function. yearly, i was being checked into psych wards. they never helped. i tried therapy, i tried medication. nothing worked.

and then 5sos came back into my life and i finally felt whole again. i finally felt like i was me again. i had been self harming since i was in the third grade, and once you cope like that for so long, its really hard to stop.

but i finally made the decision to get clean, i finally said "enough is enough, i dont want to be like this anymore. i wanna live and be healthy, i wanna live and be happy, i wanna wear shorts, i wanna wear skirts, i wanna wear short sleeves and tanks, i want to wear dresses without sleeves that show my thighs a little. and would ashton or luke or michael or calum really want me to do this to myself? no, no they wouldnt, get your shit together era." and so i did? i got it together, i made my life work. i started looking for the good again, i started behaving like a little kid that knew no bounds again, i started acting my age. i started loving me again. and thats powerful? thats metal as fuck.

the app that i use to track my clean streak has a section for "reasons to stay clean" i have pictures of my friends, my animals, and most importantly, the guys that finally inspired me to pick myself up off the floor and put myself back together.

because i did, i really had to scrounge up the broken pieces. i really had to dig deep and try and piece them back together. and it took work, and im still working on it. and even though ive been clean from s/h for three months, the urges are still there and every time theres just that little voice in my head that takes on ashton's that goes "hey dont, its not the right way." and every time i feel like the world is over, like i dont have anything else, it's always just a reminder.

there will be something else, no matter what theres gonna be something else. no matter what, the suns gonna rise again. no matter what, something good will come of all your pain, all your struggles, all your heartbreak, all the tears. the sleepless nights, the trauma, the guilt, the anger, the fear, the sadness, all of it. it means youre human, it means youre alive. it means good things are gonna happen, you just gotta wait for it. you gotta pick yourself up and keep going. keep fighting, keep running, keep walking. hell if you have to, keep crawling. keep crawling while youre crying. dont look back, youre not going that way. think of how far your faves have come, think of how your younger self wants to know what theyre gonna grow up to be. think.

its not over, it will never be over. pain is human, youre human. youre experiencing life as it was meant to be experienced, its okay to have off days.

tl;dr 5sos + me have been together since i was six and ashton irwin has quite literally kept me alive and from destroying myself mentally and physically for nearly ten years. cool beans bro

[alicepao13]

A lot of my thoughts about the second episode can be summed up in one phrase:

Why the hell wasn't that the first episode???

But I'll try to go a bit more in depth than that.

I'm sure we've had episodes with more action but this was a dynamic episode. Yeah, Charlie and Rex spent a lot of time being just the two of them again, yadda yadda. I can't keep talking about that after every single episode. In fact, since it's kinda the premise of the show, they could very well turn and call me stupid for assuming it would be centered on the rest of the characters as well. But I should also judge what was in the episode, not only what was missing.

Charlie character backstory in season 6? Okay, I'll take it. Daddy issues isn't something revolutionary (then again, you can't do anything remotely revolutionary in a cop show, much less a cop show that's comes from a previous show) but it's something. It's a character moment. Hopefully, it wasn't just that and we'll see Charlie's father.

The action scenes were nicely shot and very dynamically and made you feel like you were in the middle of the action. Yeah, they used a few too many dutch angles at times (they're not supposed to be used so liberally) but I can forgive that.

I don't have much of an issue with the plot as plot. The script was funny at times, some scenes were heartwarming, it was all pro-military bullshit of course, but it's a cop show and Charlie is a navy brat. I've seen 1,500 episodes of NCIS, I can cope. Even when the military-ish music started playing when Charlie was talking to the female perp (forgot her name and also don't have a better name for the genre of music). Props for them hinting that most vets fall through the cracks after they serve while they need help (this episode also aired 2-3 days after World Mental Health Day, and they did discuss a bit, or well, slightly brushed, the fact that soldiers come back after combat, often traumatized, to a world vastly different than how the military works, and they have trouble adjusting to the real world).

Sarah needing time off to buff up a resume that she makes clear she doesn't need? Do not want. Unless it's setting up some future storyline but it better not be her breakup with Charlie. I'll be honest, I'm on the fence about the lack of Charah. The way this show is being written, it could very well be nothing, so I'm not getting that worked up about it. But as a shipper I'd obviously have liked to have seen scenes with them by now. Especially considering how S5 started. I consider seasons 4 and 5 pretty much equal in quality, for different reasons (season 5 being a constant flat tone in terms of angst and stakes only to show "signs of life" in the end got some negative points for me), but season 6 is not starting off great for a variety of reasons which I will not list here, and I also reserve the right to watch a few more episodes to understand what the heck the new showrunner is doing (Names! I want names! I want to know who I'll be cursing this season. Why don't all shows just put a showrunner credit for fuck's sake?)

Things like getting a bunch of motorbikes, only to make a half assed scene, which wasn't bad but didn't offer much either, in which you also can't make your protagonist do the chase and subsequent stunts (unless you hate him), I don't understand. And let's not forget your other protagonist is a dog. And said dog in another scene is indicating that Charlie needs to be getting back on his own bike? Why would Rex care about that? Is he going to ride with Charlie?

Anyway, while this episode wasn't spectacular, it was on par with a lot of typical crime show episodes. Which is where I put the quality of the Hudson and Rex show overall. Yes, I do like the show and I do pay more attention to it than any other crime show I currently watch (never mind the strikes, I'm talking the last two years at least), but that doesn't mean I consider it revolutionary television. An actual 7/10 episode would be considered a good day for this show, in my opinion. If anyone feels differently, I'd love to talk about it with people who have watched at least a few more crime shows. Because if you don't have something else to compare it to, then you can't compare it to anything.

[neuroticbookworm]

Parenting in La Pluie, Episode 11

Last week, Tai finally, finally got The Explanation from his parents, and hoo boy, did they NAIL IT. He threw a spectacular tantrum as an adult man at his mom’s wedding and his parents did not immediately disown him, which is impressive in its own right. What’s more impressive is how they talked sense into him, undoing the knots of confusion in his head about their divorce, and how it has shaped his understanding of the concept of love and relationships.

Tai arrives at the wedding, and immediately throws side eyes at his mom and her now-husband, Nu. He sits down at the table with his brothers, and when his brother Nuea asks him about his fight with Patts that led to their breakup, he deflects by saying it was nothing special, it just didn’t work out. Nuea then says “You got a soulmate as your boyfriend. That is precious” and Sangtien and Saengchan emphatically agree with him. Tai then asks Nuea “As it comes down to this, do you still want me to believe in soulmates?” implying their parents’ separation. Their dad arrives, and Tai observes his parents and Nu happily interacting with each other and then asks his brothers “As you see this, don’t you feel something? Dad is congratulating Mom on her new wedding”.

It is clear from Tai’s behavior and his words that he does not understand how a person can love someone and wish them happiness, even when they cannot be the one who gives it to them. Tai gets increasingly upset as his mom gives her wedding toast, and walks away when Yadfah says “They (Warun and her children) are still my beloved ones, I love them, forever”. He walks away because he thinks she is lying, if she still likes Warun, why would she break-up with him? And how can she fall in love with Nu and marry him? It does not make sense to Tai and it does not fit the idea of love he has in his head.

Nu sees Yadfah’s heart breaking into a million pieces, as she watches her son essentially shrug off her declaration of love for him and walk away. He then tells her “The most important thing for him right now is to understand us. If Saengtai is happy, we will be happy. Now Saengtai is my son too” (we love Uncle Nu in this house, ladies, gentlemen, and my non-binary frens).

So, Yadfah and Warun follow Tai to Saengchan’s room, and Warun asks him how he is feeling, since Tai excused himself from the table saying that he is feeling dizzy. This is a tiny but amazing detail to show us how they have been patient and understanding of Tai’s struggle with their separation. They leave the ball in Tai’s court, waiting for him to ask them, when he is ready to really listen to them. When Tai gives them that opening they have been waiting for, by saying “You know I lied. I don’t have a headache”, Warun and Yadfah look at their son, look at each other, nod, and then Warun starts talking. I’m a big fan of parents establishing and reassuring themselves as A TEAM before they try to talk sense into their fucked up child’s head.

A quick detour: this is not the first time I have talked about divorce and the effect it has on the children in the family. I have done it before when Step by Step had a similar scene where Pat’s parents talked to him about their separation, when Pat was having his quarter-life crisis breakdown on their shoulders. I concluded that piece saying that divorce must not always be demonized and blamed as the root of trauma for whatever difficulty children face in their adulthood. And I noticed a few people in the notes, rightfully pointing out that divorce can be a traumatic experience for the children even when it is amicable. I fully agree. I do and I understand. But the reason why I am so defensive about this narrative is that it can be easily reduced and twisted into “divorce is bad, it traumatizes children, so no one should get divorced”. Divorce can be a deeply traumatizing experience for the children, but their parents staying in a marriage that does not work anymore is worse. Nobody wants to break up a perfectly good marriage. Couples who contemplate divorce know that this is the option that will get them and their children out of this unhappy situation with the least amount of pain. And when children are made aware of this, they will eventually grow and heal from this pain. And they will see that their parents still did whatever was best for them, even if that meant separating from each other.

Warun echoes this exact sentiment in his explanation. He apologizes to Tai, telling him that he and Yadfah thought not bringing their problems to Tai was the right thing to do, which in retrospect, is decidedly not. He says “We thought it would be better if you know nothing” and Yadfah adds “especially you, who has hearing loss”, which, as @shortpplfedup notes here, implies that Tai might’ve gotten some special treatment from his parents, being their only kid with a hearing loss. Warun continues and clarifies that he never lied to Tai, a callback to their conversation at the restaurant after Tai’s dinner date with Patts, where he told Tai “I do still love your mom. I don’t lie to myself about it. And, I’m glad for her (relationship with Nu). And I don’t lie to myself about it, either”. He says “Marriage is not only about love” and we see the argument between him and Yadfah in the flashback scene. It shows how even though their lives are centered around their children and their shared goal and desire to provide the best life for them, their points of focus have led them to drift apart in different directions, leading to them spending less and less time together. We finally hear Yadfah say the words “Maybe we should separate”.

At this point, I was ready to be disappointed because I wanted Tai to confront his idea that his mom is the instigator of this divorce and therefore the villain in this narrative. And if Yadfah is the one who uttered the S word first, I was afraid that Tai would latch on to it and regress back into his immature stance. But no, the show surprised me yet again because the writers are so. fucking. smart. The scene shifts back to the present and Warun says “But that is not the day we separated. For a year after that we tried to talk, adjust and move forward”.  He explains that he and Yadfah realized that though they are on different paths now, they still share the same goal. And then he says it. He says “I told your mom that we should get a divorce”. And we immediately see the seismic shift in Tai’s mind, his entire understanding of his mom, his dad, their love for each other, their marriage to each other and their family, crumbles to dust. He looks completely shaken and stunned. The world does not make sense to him anymore.

Yadfah now joins the conversation and reiterates how even though they are separated, they will always care for each other and their children. She says “Our love has just shifted to a different form”. She then adds a statement that shakes the foundations of Tai’s belief system for the second time. She says “Although we are separated, we will still be soulmates forever. When it rains, we still talk to each other” and we see Tai immediately realize how monumentally he has fucked up with Patts. He broke the soulmate bond. He wanted to be free of this destiny and he screamed it out into the universe with so much hate that the universe obliged. But he forgot that destiny is not the only thing that’s tying him to Patts. Patts chose to love him, and Tai could only see that love through the veil of destiny that binds them. He did not understand that Patts loved him in spite of the soulmate bond, not because of it. To quote the ever eloquent and lovely @liyazaki, real love is freedom.

gif by @liyazaki

At this point, the other Saeng brothers and Nu enter the room, and it’s interesting that Saengtai and Saengchan (the tantrum throwers) stand on one side and Saengtien and Saengnuea stand behind their dad, on the same side as their parents. Warun then tells them that he is happy for Yadfah and Nu, and that he would still want this even if he can go back in time. “This is my love for your mom”.

Warun then addresses all his children and says “Being soulmates is not more important than what we believe in”. Oh, so he does know that all his children (but one) are knuckleheads who think soulmates are precious, huh. That’s not to say the one who does not believe in soulmates is not not a knucklehead, he is just a different type of tool than his brothers. Anyway, Warun is an excellent dad who knows exactly how his sons might think and preemptively clarifies before they can do (more) damage.

Finally, Tai unfreezes and tearfully apologizes to his parents. Warun, being the absolute best, immediately says that he and Yadfah were never angry at him, and that they should’ve spoken to all their children before and it would’ve made things better. Tai then tells his parents “No matter what happens, please don’t leave each other alone”, no doubt thinking about how he has left Patts alone. And then we see the most adorable family group hug that has ever graced my eyeballs.

gif by @liyazaki

Tien, my adorable, yet deadly sweet-and-sassy boy, invites Nu to join, but Nu stays put. I told my fellow La Pluie clowns that I would’ve LOVED to see Nu in that group hug, given he had just proclaimed an adult toddler who was ruining his wedding as his son. But @bengiyo pointed out that while Nu may be ready to embrace his new family, Tai was not. And he’s right.

This is not the end of Tai’s journey. He will still have a lot to unpack and understand about love, relationships, family, and so on. He will have thoughts that conflict with this new context and perspective he has just gained and he will have to talk them through with his loved ones. He will have to unlearn old patterns and behaviors that hurt the people in his life, the ones he loves. But it all starts with an open and honest conversation. And what a gloriously beautiful conversation it was.

Shoutout to @lurkingshan for beta-reading this post

[milimeters-morales]

stop i listened to it again and fianlly truly felt like I Want You To Know That I’m Awake/i Hope That You’re Alseep is SUCH. a clawcode song, i’m literally thinking about them navigating their relationship post break up (romantic or from best friends) and it’s tearing me up and piecing me back together again this is crazy . ramble below

okay first one! this is honestly such a good part of the song (my fav lol) and is perfect to imagine a confession to, from either side. On Miles’s side it could be about confessing about being the Prowler, and how he needs Ganke to respond in any way so he doesn’t feel like he majorly fucked up in telling him, and for Ganke it could be about confessing his feelings, because silence is like the worst and you’d at least rather someone laugh so you get a chance to ALSO play it off as a joke right??? And both start to doubt themselves the longer a silence goes on!!! and the “you only have so long to capture the feeling before it’s gone” actually refers to SO much. Miles has people leaving him, first it was his old school friends, then his dad died, and now he’s having a hard time making friends at Visions and the one friend he does have he’s obviously not going to want to lose! Think of this as the “leap of faith” moment in their relationship, bc for all Miles knows, Ganke could be dead tomorrow. And on Ganke’s side, you can see it in a time where he’s already in the know about Miles being the Prowler, and wants to confess before Miles gets himself killed out there !!! because that’s a very real fear to have!! and this circles back to feeling stupider and stupider, because he’s thinking “oh no does Miles think i doubt him now? or that he’s so weak he’ll be killed?” in some way. okay next!

now i’m really stretching here, but the whole bleeding thumb leaving a trail? this could mean he hasn’t healed from his father’s death, and who could blame him? it’s an open wound that’s having obvious effects with him becoming the prowler and more rough around the edges (though that’s more bc of the hell that is Earth-42 after Jeff’s death rather than JUST Jeff’s death), traumatized, probably distrusting of MANY people, and trailing = leaving evidence of change, you see what i’m saying? And there’s a denial about it all too, “for some reason” like bro you KNOW the reason. And the rest, “i felt sick and i didn’t know what to do” GOD THIS IS SO. right so he’s lost, he definitely isn’t going about coping in the healthiest way, but to him it seems like all he CAN do. And that last part, could apply to his relationship with his mother as well! very likely to be about his guilt over not telling them about being the prowler/stuff he does as the prowler bc he knows they wouldn’t approve of some of it and would be worried sick all the time.

OH MY GOD????…… okay. we don’t know shit about Ganke much less Ganke M. but i’ll keep the whole “Ganke’s parents are divorced” thing and apply it here. So you have Miles, his parents loved each other dearly and were still separated because his dad was killed (which could happen to him, risks of being the prowler and all) and then you have Ganke, who has divorced parents (another thing that could happen but as a breakup since they aren’t married). And you KNOW how divorces can affect a child’s mental state growing up!!! “Cause we’re not like them” this is a casual sentence that couples in love say a lot, how they vow to never be like their parents, but then the “we are nothing like them” comes off as defensive and trying to convince yourself so you don’t have to face the truth, that you might be just like the people you didn’t want to end up as!!!! dead and/or broken up!!! Miles is a vigilante because he knows the system is fucked up and vows to not end up like his dad, dead for a system that didn’t care about him, but he could end up dead anyway because the system STILL doesn’t care about him!! Ganke doesn’t want to be in a bad marriage and divorce so he tries to love Miles fully and work through everything together, but he DOESN’T KNOW!!! HE ISNT READY!!!

AND IT ALL CIRCLES BACK. “I TRIED TO HARD TO FIND THE RUGHT WORDS. ITS A MATTER OF TIMING” GANKE PROBABLY DOESNT KNOW HOW GOOD HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS WORKS BC OF BEING A CHILD OF DIVORCE. HE PROBABLY FEELS LIKE MILES WILL LEAVE LIKE HIS OTHER PARENT DID AND HE’LL JUST KEEP LOSING PEOPLE SO HE NEEDED TO CONFESS QUICK. “WHICH WAS BLEEDING FOR SOME REASON. LEAVING A TRAIL OF RED BLOSSOMS ON THE NAPKIN.” BOTH GANKE AND MILES HAVENT HEALED FROM RESPECTIVE PARENT STUFF. MILES KEEPS LEAVING HIS BLOOD BEHIND BOTH LITERALLY AND METAPHORICALLY. GANKE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO LOVE HIM OR WHAT HE WANTS BUT KNOWS WHAT HE DOESNT WANT TO DO (END UP LIKE HIS PARENTS) WHICH ISNT A GOOD STARTING POINT FOR ANY RELATIONSHIP AND IT SHOWS IT LEAVES A TRAIL. “I FELT SICK AND I DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO DO” THEYRE 15!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

slams my head on the table and screams

[cypheragent]

bbkaz, homumado

bbkaz

What made you ship it?

ugh probably the pw drama CD honestly like it just hits different... the tension... their meeting is sooooo insane and then i just love the sleazy vibes of pw era the boss and his sexy slutty second-in-command secretary boytoy. the OBSESSION and then the insane breakup angst.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

literally the most insanely hot and sexy dynamic of all time like their raw erotic appeal is OFF THE FUCKING CHARTS kojima was insane for this. there are layers to the psychosexual nonsense at play here

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

bb does not love that man back lol. he never did. idk how mgsv didn't make this really obvious to some people. it's also part of what makes the ship so delicious to me! it's about the kaz angst! kaz adored this man he dedicated his life to him revolved it around him waited on him for nine years only to be tossed aside like nothing. not just cast aside, not even just ghosted, but lied to with a BODY DOUBLE like are you kidding me. that shit would be so traumatizing like what the fuck (speaking of which that is basically the reason why i can't get behind vkaz or at least most fanon interpretations of vkaz that i don't understand the existence of at all really. sorry. and like i just need kaz to die alone and unloved)

homumado

What made you ship it?

ep 10. i feel like that's what made everyone start to ship it

What are your favorite things about the ship?

i guess that good devotion shit lol that angst and like they were my first fictional gays EVER and i was sooooo invested like these girls had a chokehold on me... madoka magica in general is very nostalgic for me and honestly every time i rewatch the series i'm so pleasantly surprised at just how well it holds up. they have so many iconic scenes like HOMURA KILLING MADOKA IN THAT ONE TIMELINE SO THAT SHE DOESN'T BECOME A WITCH?! legendary. and so fucked up

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

maybe that i don't really like rebellion? conceptually it's interesting but in execution a tonally inconsistent and poorly paced mess. none of its ideas are inherently bad on paper, but it was all executed so poorly that it just doesn't work. a real shame, because i would have loved to see its ideas done better. i hate what it does to madohomu as a result, but again, CONCEPTUALLY i would have been fine with it, if it was just executed better.

[biblicalhorror]

Zaylor Midnights, Part II

And we're back! If you haven't yet, please peruse the disclaimers I covered in Part 1.

Let's jump right in!

8. Vigilante Shit

Here's where we start to get some more Catwoman vibes on this album.

"Cat eye sharp enough to kill a man"

Also some generic Gaylor lyrics:

"I don't dress for women / I don't dress for men" Oh so you're bisexual? Okay got it. Case closed.

"Picture me thick as thieves with your ex-wife"

Also the implication she fucked Scooters wife is too funny to not mention. She loves a divorcée ;)

9. Bejeweled

Initially I was fully prepared to write this one off as a song about Jake or John or even Calvin and therefore irrelevant to Toë, but holy crap is this MV gay as hell.

Opening, of course, with the scene where Laura Dern satirizes the concept that a proposal from a prince being "the best thing a girl could hope to achieve"

Note this Kravitz quote from the earlier GQ article:

We'll come back to this later.

Anyway, Taylor plays Cinderella in this music video, who rejects the proposal from the prince (played by Jack Antonoff, who has the same initials as Joe Alwyn), impresses the Princess (played by Zoë Kravitz) with her burlesque routine she learned from queer burlesque icon Dita Von Teese, and ends up taking the castle for herself.

Basically, another song that has nothing to do with Zoë but is extremely gay (in context of the music video, at least)

10. Labyrinth

I go back and forth on this song. I've heard other people theorize that it's about trying to end a relationship and then falling back in love with the same person again, which I think is a totally valid interpretation. It could be that.

However! It sounds to me like it's about the feeling of finding yourself falling for someone new and your traumatized brain is so focused on what could go wrong that you get completely ahead of yourself and start mourning a relationship that hasn't even started yet. Taylor is a Cancer moon, which is a moon sign that is deeply introspective and retrospective. The "labyrinth of my mind" could be referring to the twists and turns her mind takes to convince her that every relationship will end in catastrophe based on the way past relationships have panned out. Past becomes present becomes future in this song. Maybe it's about finding her connection with Zoë after the fallout from a Karlie or Lily breakup? Maybe Joe cheated on her and she found comfort in the arms of Zoë and they became a polyamorous couple? Who knows.

11. Karma

EDIT: I've found some articles claiming Zoë is a songwriter on this one and others that do not mention her. I believe there was initially a mistake on the Apple Music pre-release info, so for now we'll say she's not in a fact a cowriter for this song.

Taylor Swift clearly has a complicated relationship to gender and womanhood. Many of her friends called her "king" in their 2021 birthday posts:

In Dear Reader, she explicitly refers to herself as a "cursed man."

Queer women also tend to have complicated relationships with gender due to heteropatriarchal society. Some lesbians and queer women use he/him or they/them pronouns for any myriad of personal reasons. It's not too far-fetched that these women could possibly call each other by male pronouns/adjectives sometimes.

Zoë had this interview where she talks about High Fidelity, identifying more with male roles because they're often written to be more complex and nuanced due to misogyny in film/tv, and how passionate she is about how "women can be fuckboys, too"

"Karma is my boyfriend" but also "Karma is a queen" >>> "Karma" is both genders and neither gender. (Note: Zoë has a tattoo of a crown on her finger)

"Sweet like honey, Karma is a cat" First of all, that's pussy babe

Also, these two stone cold weirdos apparently have the same method acting technique:

"Flexing like a goddamn acrobat, me and karma vibe like that"

What else could "flexing like a goddamn acrobat" refer to other than Zoë playing a superhero famous for her acrobatics (and/or Taylor being in Cats (2019))

these two weird Sagittarius girls love to simply vibe together as cats or otherwise

"Karma is the guy on the screen coming straight home to me"

Not "Catwoman of my dreams" but "CAT WOMAN OF DREAMS" this girl is horny as hell and loves dreaming about women

Sweet like JUSTICE = another batman reference, of course

12. Sweet Nothing

Written by William Bowery who we think could be Zoë

Zoë also lived in London from 2020-2021, she could possibly have gone on holiday to Wicklow (in Ireland) after filming for The Batman wrapped

Taylor made her meals throughout covid isolation and a birthday dinner in December of 2020. Nice to Have a Friend in your pods with you, huh ladies?

Also, remember when Zoë crossed the picket line for the Oscar's party and then made a "joke" about the Will Smith situation being uncivilized? This is a song about a couple of out-of-touch insanely rich girlies who just Can't Be Bothered and also happen to be in love

Speaking of which, if this is in fact a song about Joe Alwyn, it's a (pretty) lie. "All that you ever wanted from me was nothing." Being in a relationship with Taylor has gotten him movie/tv roles, a Grammy, etc. He's gained so many accolades just by being associated with Taylor. If he doesn't want any of that, why does she keep jeapordizing her own image as an artist to get him awards? Zoë likely genuinely wants nothing from Taylor because she's been famous her entire life. She doesn't need Taylor to pull any strings for her to get roles or accolades.

13. Mastermind

This song is Taylor being very tongue-in-cheek about how this lover she's been singing for four albums about is actually a target she decided on long ago

Starts with a hand touch in a crowded room (obvious Gorgeous reference), that Bowery hangout did look awfully crowded, didn't it?

Dominoes cascaded in a line >>> hair falls into place like dominoes (Gold Rush)

All the wisest women had to do it this way / WE were born to play the pawn in every lover's game (as in, WE women are forced to play these roles)

Two lines that could reference Zoë's tattoos:

"I'm the wind in our free-flowing sails">> Zoë has several pirate themed tattoos

"And the liquor in our cocktails" >> "être toujours ivre" (always be drunk) tattoo

-----

And that's it for the 13 original Midnights tracks! Part 3 will be looking into the 3am tracks.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

[sickness-health-all-that-shit]

hello! i was watching ian and mickey scenes through *the* youtube channel, i'm not too deep into the lore of the fandom but! i read that noel wanted to be paid more for his role which is why they wrote him off on s6 etc. reading some comments through clips from the other seasons he is not in i saw that the ''reasons'' as of why ian seems not to care of him was because of his medication and pretending to keep himself steady but with s7 it went down after seeing him again + monica's death (and that's also why he's maniac again :0) thankfully right after they're back together which makes my serotonin skyrocket! i mostly read fics that are a sort of fix it or with mickey coming back right after monica dying etc. i didn't know about these infos before so i thought it was kind of fanon that ian goes maniac because of that and that he never said ''i love you'' to anyone but mickey. i wanted to ask you what is your take on ian's feelings when mickey wasn't around? gotta say that it makes me feel way better knowing that despite their effort to remove mickey from the series they managed to make it was all about him/leading back to them together! i hope i didn't disturb you with this ask but im having feelings!!! eheh

hi there! totally valid to have ✨feelings✨ about this, especially when you first start diving into their history and relationship!! my own deep-dive under the cut:

I do believe Noel left bc of contract renegotiations, yes. and after that fans were not happy with (and were very vocal about) the show trying to 'replace' Mickey with other boyfriends for Ian and having Ian badmouth Mickey etc. anyway, if we're keeping this to in-universe explanations as to how Ian felt about Mickey during those seasons, my interpretation is this: at the start of s6, Ian was in a very, very bad place. we see that at some point he started taking his meds (despite his previous refusal to do so like during the breakup in 5x12) but he's very clearly going through depression at that stage. let's keep in mind that at the time he was dealing with accepting his diagnosis, something he struggled a lot with both bc of the comparisons with Monica and bc of how much he valued his independence, so acknowledging the need for outside help and someone to care for him when he's not feeling well is particularly hard for him. he also just came out of a long period of being unmedicated--I've seen people suggest symptoms first started manifesting at the end of s3, and might've influenced his decision to go off to the army with everything that that brought as a consequence and all the choices he made as a result of that.. his life had changed dramatically in that period (he dropped out of school, left his home and his siblings, worked in nightclubs as a minor and of course he went through all that traumatic stuff with Mickey from 3x06 onward) so at the beginning of s6 he makes the decision to basically just put all of that behind him. Ian has a tendency to compartmentalize, which means he took all the bad things that had happened to him up until his diagnosis (and everything that reminded him of that, ie Mickey) and tried to forget about them, so that he could move on in some way. of course at this point Mickey was in prison and expected to remain there for the next 8 to 15 years, so that was another thing Ian made the decision to put out of his mind, bc it all hurt too much to deal with. so he made a new life for himself. which I'm very proud of him for! I love his journey to become an emt <3 dating-wise, choices were made. not necessarily by Ian though, by which I mean he kinda fell into those relationships, going through the motions because of how uncertain he was feeling at that time, and ending up dating people that should've maybe definitely had been fuck buddies at most. anyway, let's not dwell on that ajkds and let's get back to Mickey. the whole 'out of sight out of mind' thing obviously crashes and burns for Ian once Mickey shows up again, right there in front of him. that rush of deep-buried feelings must have been overwhelming. and yeah, I do agree that Ian's manic state through s8 was probably a result of the double hit of Monica's death and losing Mickey again--for all Ian knew, for good this time. and he absolutely never said I love you to anyone but Mickey, bc he's never loved anyone but him. they were it for each other from the start!! thank god the show finally got with the program at some point lol and gave us the happy ending they truly deserved ❤️

[dgalerab]

alright here's my thoughts on how you'd fix stranger things (starting at s3 bc my stance was always that i could deal with how s3 did s2 dirty if it was building up to something properly in s4 and haha. hahaha. hahahaha. ahahahahahaahaha.)

mostly in vague terms of character arcs bc i'm still niggling at the idea of writing some screenplays for alternate episodes as a writing exercise

max vs mike: honestly the max/mike as foils aspect was GALAXY BRAINED and UNDERUTILIZED but it should have been mike's hypervigilance vs max's rebellion. *me dry heaving with the urge to not go on a rant about how the duffer bros see anyone with a gf as Normal and this blinds them to the traumatic elements that--*

mike should have been, honestly, on the same side as hopper. like, he's an angsty pre-teen so he won't ADMIT that he's on hopper's side but i think his friction with the party should have been that he's constantly overthinking where el can go without being noticed. you could still have the hormonal teens aspect with some grumpiness vs hopper but i think the overall aspect should have been that mike and hopper are very similarly overly protective

meanwhile max is going through it at home with extremely overbearing patriarchal figures. setting up for her grief arc in season 3, we really should have seen how billy is being abused, how he hands it down to max (by being biting with her from a safe distance since she laid down the law) and how she then struggles not to hand that down to lucas (also she should have had another moment where she again threatens billy away from lucas, showcasing the fact that she's as protective as mike is, despite her quarreling with lucas). so coming off this oppressive environment, she pushes to get el into freedom, being a little bit reckless, bc honestly who's gonna know? wound up with teenage overconfidence for taking on billy + a little bit of a self harm undertone because of her frustration with herself for inadvertent curtness with lucas bc of her struggles at home

the nancy/jonathan subplot is pretty good, but honestly? i think both of their sides should have been legitimized. keep and possibly even amplify all the moments with karen and nancy and the very serious fact that nancy is the victim of misogyny, but also give the byers more money troubles!! give jonathan and joyce moments where they're struggling financially! give joyce struggling to find work bc everything is shutting down because of the mall!! *slams fists on tables* lean into the horror of the mall!! the mall devours!!! the mall is the flesh monster, devouring all!!!!

ANYWAY

shut the absolute fuck up with making hopper unlikable so he can be redeemed by *checks notes* being tortured in a russian prison. fucking christian-ass hellsinner nonsense. give me hopper floundering trying to give joyce a sense of safety. taking her seriously but not knowing how to help. knowing she's thinking of moving away for money and trauma reasons. being scared to ask her to stay. being scared to offer to protect her. and honestly, i think he should have moved to cali with them, purely bc joyce felt safer that way and that's part of his redemption arc is just to trust her

make will less uwu babey boy. boy's been possessed. let him be fucking sloppy and mean. have him fighting not (entirely) against his friends to keep his lost childhood, but also himself. give him a crushes he doesn't want to have. make him be a dick about lucas and mike trying to get el back after the breakup. make mike be a dick back bc will started getting personal. FUCKING INCLUDE LUCAS IN THE ARGUMENT BRO

speaking of lucas has such an underdeveloped character arc in season 3 you'd have to invent it from scratch and tbh i'm still fucking noodling on this one. i feel like it'd have to contrast max and mike's different takes on overprotection. honestly, i feel like lucas' entire thing is the competition for hero with mike in s1, which would be an interesting arc - like, honestly, it would be fun if lucas was getting REALLY into tactics and it's part of the reason he hard commits to fixing mike and el's relationship but he's also weird about d&d now. it would make an interesting shift from the whole "sorry will lol we have GIRLFRIENDS now so we don't have TIME for interests, that's how PUBERTY works bc what 13-14 yos are really known for is being really normal about their interests and only being into girls). like maybe they've been straying from d&d bc mike's overvigilance is leaking into his dming and lucas' tactical special interests are leaking into his rp and dustin's over it and will wants them to just play d&d NORMALLY bc he doesn't want to face that he's not normal anymore and never will be again and this is deeply intertwined with the horror of puberty and queerness and trauma

i like the scoops troop dynamic but i think they shouldn't have been so disconnected from the party. i think there should have been this chaos with mike and max's war of the different flavors of the same person and lucas' Operation Get My Bf and Gf to Agree campaign and meanwhile dustin is like "so anyway there's a russian base underground" and they're like "DUSTING THERE'S NOT A RUSSIAN BASE UNDER THE MALL"

i don't care about alexei get rid of him

honestly i don't care if this is my get babygirl steve a boyfriend agenda, i think eddie should have been introduced in s3 as a direct foil to billy and a queer puberty parallel for will. i'm too winded from my other thoughts to elaborate but i'm right

karen should have divorced ted. instead of being like "what am i doing nearly fucking a teenager i have a family" she should have been like "what am i doing nearly fucking a teenager i gotta GET OUT OF THIS FUCKING MARRIAGE"

anyway tbc i need a breather before i deal with season 4

[blorbologist]

taking into account his desire to ensure the de rolos will always be around for whitestone, if percy and vex hadn’t gotten back together after their break up do you think percy would marry another in order to continue the de rolo bloodline? Or do you think he’d shirk that responsibility and wait for his sister to marry? He’d be really depressed I know that but do you think he’d wallow and waste away if getting her back didn’t work or marry another noble for his kingdom? (hi! I love your fics!😁)

Hi anon - thank you! <33

See, on my end, I think the most fascinating question would be ‘how this would fuck with Vox Machina’s dynamic’, because with Vex as one of the two ‘leaders’ of the group with Scanlan, that could get very messy very fast. Especially with how her titles kinda tie her to Whitestone. Awkward. 

I’m going to assume that this breakup is the canon ‘broke up for one week during the timeskip’ that happened, and not the ‘Percy left VM and broke up with Vex at the same time’ of One for sorrow, Two for joy, just based on the phrasing. If you’d like me to do a what-if for the fic, though, I’d be more than happy to!

I think the timing is really important, here, and the fact it’s a breakup. See, I’m of a sliiightly different opinion to @essayofthoughts on this: I think Percy would take two steps back if things ended with Vex and things were beyond reconciliation, or if they were incompatible. For multiple reasons.

Keeping this under a cut because it got Longgg

First of all, given this is the timeskip, Percy has *finally* started taking responsibility for Whitestone… but he does tend to procrastinate on this sort of thing. In the epilogue he explicitly, one of the first things out of his mouth, hopes he and Vex will keep adventuring for a bit before settling down - Vesper being born within a year post-Vecna was an accident. He wouldn’t be in a rush to marry and pop out heirs. 

I highly doubt he would pressure Cass to marry, but I think he’d definitely lock himself in his workshop and cross his fingers hoping she finds someone before people start mumbling in concern. 

Tackling the emotional side to this… Things took a *while* with Vex: they flirted from the word go (or, she flirted with him), but didn’t get together until Percy had literally died and Vex confessed to loving him in the hopes of getting him back. They fell for eachother through some ridiculously traumatic events (battles, near-death, death, revisiting huge sources of trauma, etc.), on top of being in close proximity to eachother (camping as a group, then the Mansion, and Whitestone too) for several years. You don’t get that sort of cocktail off of courtly dramas, y’know. Finding a similar sort of relationship - with an equal on the battlefield, in the mind, in the social dance - would be ludicrously hard, especially without that combination of time, adrenaline and proximity. 

The final piece of ‘what’s going on in Maggie’s head for her to say such evil things’ is that Percy was firmly convinced he was damned. He knowingly produced weapons that would kill thousands, and wanted to atone for that, but it takes *work* for him to believe that he even can be redeemed, or is a good person. Him and Vex breaking up would shatter that budding kindness towards himself, potentially beyond the point of no return: he came back from the dead for her, she’d seen him at his very worst, and she can’t love him. Maybe he isn’t worthy of love, after all he’s done. Or maybe he’s a terrible person who can be loved but will inevitably ruin it, like he ruined their relationship (TBH I’m pretty sure the breakup would have been caused by issues on both sides, buuuut this is Percy). 

So. Sum total: I think Percy would set himself up for failure, consciously or not. 

He isn’t exactly around anyone beyond his sister, dignitaries and castle staff all that much, and that pales in comparison to that adrenaline/time/proximity thing with VM I mentioned. He's throwing himself into tinkering, and maybe still adventuring with Vox Machina when he can, and just being helpful to Whitestone but not really *looking* for anyone, you know? So when he doesn’t fall in love again, well. He considers it proof of his inner voice’s worst hypotheses about himself. He would dedicate his life not to happiness, because he doesn’t deserve a lick of it, but to fixing his legacy, to trying to make things right, somehow. And if Cass doesn’t marry, and Whitestone needs an heir… well. An unhappy marriage is the least he deserves, after everything. Gods forbid he has to see Vex still being incredible with the Grey Hunt during all this, too, man's gonna pine and mope and be sad (until he can be absolutely delighted with the kid and throw all his attention into being a dad).

(And, a sidenote - Vex, if still in Whitestone, would still be the most eligible match! Just saying! And they’d hopefully still be friends - picture her seeing the pressure the Chamber is putting on Percy and Cass, and offering to marry Percy to save her friends that. And it being Awkward. And lush with Pining. And it’s supposed to just be a political thing, and Vex would like to be a mother anyways and hahaha isn’t this just like those ‘if we’re both still single at 35 we get married’ things, but what if Feelings Return, huh, what then? Middle! Aged! PINING! Friends to lovers to exes to friends to married with a baby on the way to lovers!)

[devinwolfi]

ohhhh my god ok pls keep in mind that i watched angel one (1) time ????? years ago (more than 10, time is fake, etc) and immediately turned off the tv at the end like “wow what the fuck was that. anyway” so lots of this may be misremembered or made up so please accept this salt shaker 🧂 and let’s fucking goooo

so this happened in one of the later seasons iirc? 4 maybe? anyway cordy and angel either had a big dramatic breakup or he cheated on her, i can’t remember. but either way he fucked (drum roll) darla??? yes that darla, his sire who for sure died in buffy s1, but we don’t deal in continuity here, this is angel. so she’s??? back??? somehow??? and they fuck which ok whatever except!!! she gets pregananant! which again, theoretically not possible, but this is basically fanfiction so what the fuck.

so she’s knocked up with her vampire zombie spawn thing, and i can’t remember if she sticks around for a bit while the baby cooks and ups the angst factor with cordelia? or it might just be a magical uncle ben’s 2 minute baby situation. either way she dies in childbirth (like she dusts out and there’s just?? an infant???) so angel is left to raise this monstrosity alone. sad.

but then! the babby! is…kidnapped. to hell, for some reason? unclear. so angel has to go to hell to get his child back, except OH NO time dilation shenanigans, the baby is all grown up now even though he was just born last week! he’s a moody teenager and angel is a deadbeat dad, oops

so he brings this understandably angsty and resentful teenage boy (i wanna say connor? don’t quote me) home to his weird bunker thing with all his monster hunting friends, which like. good job, a+ parenting. and it’s rough and the kid hates him for abandoning him in hell (fair) and it’s all very the first half of a steve martin movie where the divorced dad tries to bond with the kid he doesn’t know, yk?

but then. THEN. cordelia decides this is her moment. her friend/ex/whatever is struggling! he is trying to bond with his child! cordy can help! by….fucking him. yeah, she fucks this traumatized 16yo monster baby who was literally born last week, because that’s a responsible adult choice. reliving her queen of sunnydale high glory days??? literally who knows

and if you think that’s the worst bit about this nightmare plotline, strap in! we’re not done! guess who else gets pragnet? that’s right babeyyy, cordelia is having *checks notes* angel’s grandchild????

who turns out to be, i shit you not, gina torres. fully grown gina torres who is also god, for some reason? and this whole thing starting with darla mysteriously coming back from the dead all the way to connor being raised in hell (where angel couldn’t influence him to be uhhhhh a normal well adjusted child ig??? didn’t seem to be a huge risk all things considered but what do i know) was part of the great ineffable plan to get cordy to give birth to gina torres in white robes and return god to the world

except she turns out evil (obv) bc she’s like some alien thing idk and they have to kill her. but yeah. that’s the most fucked up thing i remember from angel? also the only thing rly. pretty sure cordelia and angel get back together in the end? there might be another love triangle with spike, which like, can a guy catch a break? goddamn

what in the twilightriverdalesupernatualvampirediaries

the only part of this that makes any sense is gina torres is god bc that just feels right

but seriously every modern monster show wishes they were buffy(& co(angel(through gritted teeth))) no one will ever have what they had

also assuming xander has been brutually killed by this point which, i hope so, i wonder how he feels about cordy and angel bc his type in women is women who are into angel

[urutaguja]

9 years ago

For those who cannot go to the blog, or don't have Twitter, here's what it reads in a complete sentence!

9 years ago... I left my "isla del encanto" to the land I would be free. I was too young to understand why my mother did it.

Before I fully left, my dad sent me a message... Saying that when I arrive, they would throw a big party. It was odd. But for me, it stuck.

After the first year, I realized what he meant. I arrived to the freedom on the day of July 3rd, 2015. I was welcomed by new friends, families and such. I was also welcomed by one of the worst school years of my life. Middle school's last year before heading to High School.

I was seen as a target and I thought fleeing this place of scholar peer abuse would be over. I was wrong.

After the final semester, I defended myself for the very first time. I snapped completely. I hurt someone with a chair and for good reason. The kid got suspended.

I left after a few weeks, unable to come back due to the intolerance. The only good highlights was that I became one of the top 10 students in that school.

Moving on to high school... My cringiest and most traumatic. I spent the 4 years remaining in post-trauma, discovery and Loss. Most of my PSTD does come back, but I am able to shake it off, because I know now I can defend myself better (lol). However, most of my trauma was from relationships. I was always the one to be told to break up... I only had to say "I have to end it" once.

And it was for my safety. The person I dated that I had to do that triggered me so much I could not see the same name's on people. Now? I just simply think "oh I wonder" and done. I stopped trying to mourn once I became 18, the day I swore I had to become better...

But when I turned 18, I made one of the most biggest decisions of my life, and it was during COVID. I dropped out of College not even before the first quarter ended. I could not handle the depression. At 18, I was non-binary male-leaning. I also met a different person.

And that person gave me one of the most biggest skill builds I had, and that was the patience of saints, the duality of experience, and the reality of both sides, the reason I never sugarcoat things anymore. This person also made me pull one of the biggest stunts at 19.

Well, two actually... But the one stunt I never thought I would do was not caused by them. I overdosed for the first time. I failed, which I am glad I did because it made me realize how I never wanted to die, only the pain. My pain exists, but I still progress and push thru

2nd, I moved across countries, only to end the relationship one month after or so, and it wasn't working, a mutual decision. I am still friends with this person to this day, and after our breakup, they grew stronger in experience, but weaker in health. I sometimes think

I am the reason they are alive to this day, and I am glad to see them here today alive, despite the hardships of health issues. I would gladly help them if it weren't for financial issues.

After meeting them, I finally met the love of my life, currently standing strong.

I meet my current bf. The one that I helped out of a dark time, and he has too for me. He was the reason I decided to pursue a job. My official job, that I still have after 2 and a half years currently. I used to be on the sales floor, endured a terrible, ableist manager.

Now I am a cashier team member and have trained 3 ~ 4 folks for register, and the managers now hope that I def stick around to become either a supervisor or a manager (to which I had many customers ask if I was one, due to how serious I take my job!) I hope I can do that soon.

Now, I have finally a better chance for art commissions, which sorry it's taking a while, I finally realized why. This month, was a month that I started my new life. And for fuck's sake, I am still here!

On July 3rd of 2015, I arrived to the US, and I am still here.

Thank you for the folks who remember whenever I mentioned these, thank you to the folks who have seen me grow, and thank YOU to those who are new! If I hadn't moved from Puerto Rico to here in MA, this blog and all of Urutaguja Arts would never happen. But it did! I never gave up

[asgardwinter]

The Divorce (1)

summary | It was supposed to be only a regular break up, all the adults would blame it on parting for college, on being too young. The kids didn’t see it that way, the top2 babysitters deciding they weren’t together anymore was something that made an impact. Dustin dramatically called it ‘the divorce’ and no one knew the actual reason behind it.

❊ Series Masterlist | Next Part >>

pairing | Steve Harrington x fem!Reader

warnings | angst, cute flashbacks, friends to exes to lovers, future season 4 spoilers! (but nothing for now)

word count | 1k

author’s note | so, i wanted to do something folowing season four and this is the outcome. this first chapter is more of an introduction but i hope you enjoy it anyway :)

❊ join the taglist!

The kids called it “the divorce”. 

It was a bit too dramatic for your taste, you had never been engaged to him or anything. It was just a break up to be really honest.

Just a break up.

One that really fucked up your heart and life, but that was it. There was nothing to be done about the matter, not anymore.

“No, you’re not getting it.” Dustin followed on with his story. “It was before ‘the divorce’, now everything is different! She’s not around anymore and Steve is dealing with whatever he’s dealing with in the worst way possible as usual.”

“Those two really messed up the whole thing, didn’t they?” Lucas had a tired voice, Dustin was really making him crazy with that whole thing.

‘The divorce’ had already happened months prior to that conversation, so it was really understandable for anyone to be tired of hearing about the breakup. Right after the mindflayer and the Starcourt fire everything just went down, one thing before the other just like dominos. You and Steve Harrington hadn’t been together long enough for the commotion the end caused, but it didn’t feel like that to you back in July when it crumbled down.

Feelings had only been confessed about a month and a half after the Halloween fiasco, all of them constructed under fighting interdimensional beings together on previous occasions and pretending nothing had happened the next day at school. Sharing the same traumatic experiences can be truly bonding for some people.

Whatever you had at first, it started off as a way to chase away the nightmares those weird creatures gave both of you. Sitting together in your mother’s pretty garden right in front of her trailer late at night was enough to pretend Hawkins was still the same in your eyes, a cheap trick that worked well enough. There under the stars with Steve by your side you kept trying to ignore the bright lights the trailer park had to focus on the tiny spots in the sky.

“So…” You trailed off, taking a large sip of the strawberry juice you found on the fridge, the only thing that was there for your very improvised picnic. “Will this ever end?”

Your question caught Steve off guard. Nights like that were exclusively for pretending things were ordinary, tiptoeing around the subjects you both wanted to talk about and forget at the same time. No one ever asked such a direct question in a moment like that, but he answered it anyway.

“I hope it does.” He said with little hope in his voice. “We can’t keep on living like this with one monster following the other, we’re all going to be insane one day.”

“I think I already am.” You confessed, half joking and half serious.

“Well, you’re not doing that alone.”

You both exchanged the most serious glances until falling into laughter. It was soft, free and warm, just what you need after actively thinking about all those things that happened in the small town. Everybody needs a moment to laugh their asses out and soon you were almost crying from it — happy tears.

Eyes meeting in the middle of another wave of giggles made the sound get caught in your throat, silence slowly making its job of turning the light atmosphere into something more dense but still good. Lips getting closer and eyes closing was all that followed and led to your first kiss.

You needed to confess that it was the best first kiss in your life.

And second kiss.

Maybe you got to the fifth that very night.

…

You moved away from Hawkins in August.

It was earlier than you had planned but there was no reason to stay in town after ‘the divorce’ — fuck, the code they gave it was starting to get to you. College was going to be a brand new start and you could just forget about everything at peace, with no people around you to remind you of those dark times it would be easier.

It should be but that wasn’t the truth.

The moment you stepped out of Hawkins you had hopes of never setting your foot back at it. And then during Winter break there you were, back at your mom’s trailer celebrating Christmas just like as if you never left. Going back to the city that held your greatest demons had some comfort you didn’t expect to find, it was like there you could feel understood even with the shadows looming just above your shoulder.

There was also some comfort in seeing Steve from the front window of the video store, some pain came along  but you were fine with it.

The kids tried to make you and him end up in the same places more than one time, all failed attempts. You kept hoping they’d focus on other things than your life, they left Lucas and Max alone so you just expected them to do the same with you.

“You’re being fucking stupid, you know?” Dustiin said to you when you met him casually outside Family Video.

“Don’t talk about the things you don’t know, Henderson.” That was all you managed to say. “It’s…It’s better this way.”

Both of you could feel the lies hovering in the air.

…

Spring Break came and with it the doubt of coming back to Hawkins or not.

Before you could even think straight you were already on your way back to your mother’s house with a suitcase filled with enough clothes for a week. A long week. You gripped the steering wheel like a parachute, like it could save you from the houses and the very familiar trailer park you used to live in.

The steering wheel couldn’t save you from the mysterious murder that happened at that very trailer park.

It couldn’t save you from the dread you felt after that, like something was very very wrong.

And it also couldn’t save you when Dustin Henderson, Max Mayfield, Robin Buckley and Steve Harrington appeared at your doorstep.

[dramarants]

You already know what it is - finale rant time

Okay, injeong, na heedo knows what she wants and she deserves to have her needs met - baek yijin could not provide it. They weren’t meant to be life partners in the traditional sense, fine.

I’m happy for yurim and jiwoong and yay minchae’s sticking with ballet, and joo hyuk and taeri’s acting is just so phenomenal my gosh.

But I need a season 2 that actually gives us answers for the present day timeline and shows us what happiness looks like after your youth. And we’ve bonded so much with the characters, ofc we want to see what their everyday lives are like and what their goals are, what they live for, what their specific happiness looks like. I refuse to accept that the happy memories of the past are enough to keep you going just bc you once had it - wtf? No, show me how heedo has love and support now, through yurim or her mom or even her daughter? Show me that yijin isn’t some traumatized reporter destined to spend the rest of his life alone, show me why the fuck seungwan is a variety pd?? Idk, do all ppl past the age of 35 just not have things they look forward to?? Like I’m 23 but my “happy youth days” are very much over - am I just supposed to feed off memories of college years and all the people I lost for the rest of my life? This can’t be it. It’s funny bc the show is about moving forward but it makes it seem like heedo’s happiness is left in the past.

How come after so many years where clearly heedo and yijin have moved on (or at least I hope so lmao the show gave us next to nothing), how come they can’t be old friends? Like would it be too hard to move on from the past if they remained in touch?

The BIGGEST question I have is what does minchae’s father do, bc he isn’t there in covid times and isn’t that exactly the reason heedo broke up with yijin? Make it make sense. Tell me heedo didn’t compromise for someone other than yijin or tell me how this magic mystery man fulfills her life more than yijin did.

How come they left so many unanswered questions for the present day? Things that could be revealed with just a few passing sentences my goodness.

Ugh I don’t want to be angry or upset at the show, it was so good and I love these characters so much. I feel a lil hollow but I’m going to try and focus on all the good. Even the breakup scenes themselves were wonderfully done. I’m not gonna let my confusion for everything that follows leave a bitter taste.

My headcannon: after reading yijin’s words in her diary, heedo calls up the anchor laughing and semi-confrontational like “ya baek yijin, I can’t believe you had this” bc they’re still close friends who can rely on each other to tease them or assure them in darker times. They don’t talk often or at length, but a two minute phone call is enough to bring them peace and make them smile. There’s no need for longing or yearning and the squad is able to meet up in the future bc their breakup wasn’t messy. Ugh the squad not being able to stay as all five of them through the years is realistic but still a girl can dream

You know what the more I think about it, it’s understandable if yijin and heedo fall out of touch completely cuz that’s just how life goes but usually that happens between friends over a long period of time, not all of a sudden and certainly not by choice. In those situations, it wouldn’t be weird to encounter the other person either esp if you have lots of mutual connections but it sorta felt like they avoid each other? Idk them not ending up together is realistic but something about what we watched feels unjustifiable and I can’t put my finger on exactly what.

Ugh whatever whatever Coldplay’s “oh take me back to the start” is blasting in my head and this doesn’t make sense, I’m posting just bc I typed it and maybe someone else can figure out what this feeling is or what’s missing but if you’re reading this, thanks for being on this crazy beautiful journey together. All of our characters have some type of happy, fulfilling ending and it’s true that no matter what lies ahead, the love and laughter you’ve shared with friends and family and mentors and lovers will always remain with you ❤️ even if lost, it still mattered and continues to matter. Every moment has value.

[lioncunt]

any way the wind blows review!!!

gonna put it under a cut but tl;dr i really really loved it and even the things that i was on the fence about i’ve decided i love as well lmfao

so i kind of knew going into both this and wayward son that the plot wouldn’t really EVER be as narratively satisfying as carry on’s. it would definitely be interesting and have a lot of cool thematic elements, but in terms of being a grand deconstruction of the “chosen one” genre, it couldn’t ever get better than carry on. and i’m so happy rainbow didn’t try to MAKE it that. she didn’t pull a supernatural and up the stakes to impossible, outlandish degrees. both wayward son and awtwb had realistic, fascinating plots that served as a metaphor for the internal struggles of the characters.

the reason i’m beginning this review by talking about the plot is because it’s what i’ve seen the most criticism directed towards. and like i DO get it, i also was taken aback at first at how the actual plot is kind of background noise for the first couple hundred pages. but like...i think it WORKS. again, this whole trilogy is a deconstruction. that’s its PURPOSE. obviously it’s doing other things as well, but it started by taking this well-worn and well-loved trope and completely turning it on its head, giving us permission to acknowledge all the damage it causes and how our love of this type of story is honestly kind of harmful. we turn off that part of our brains when we read harry potter or something else with traumatized child protagonists, in order for us to actually enjoy it, but the simon snow trilogy has always said, “hey, this is kind of fucked up, huh? you’re allowed to think that.”

anyway, the way that translates to the plot here is that there’s not always some huge mystical big bad, or obviously evil antagonist. the horror can be going on in the world around you, in the background of your day-to-day life dealing with your own shit, creeping up on you until suddenly your loved ones are spouting off nonsense that is an absolutely CHILLING allegory for eugenics, by the way, which i’ve seen NOBODY talk about. the clear political parallels were so well done, but not heavy-handed, and they worked wonderfully as an ending to this story. simon at the end being a target for an angry mob, who are victims of intense ableism themselves (the metaphor of being a weak mage = having a disability), how these religious extremists will point at what they deem abnormal and use them as a scapegoat, the disgusting “survival of the fittest” mentality leading to “i can make this society great again” - it was all just incredibly well written, in my opinion. and the fact that it happened so slowly, in the background, made it all the better. you don’t really notice how bad it’s getting until it’s BAD.

it also, again, works so well as a manifestation of the characters’ inner strife. others have put it better than me already, so i won’t talk about it too much, but the fact that the book is saying you don’t need to be like everyone else in order to accomplish great things and have a good life, you don't need to have magic, you don’t need to be human, you don’t need to be neurotypical or able-bodied or straight or white or ANYTHING these people will have you believe in order to make you obedient to them and hateful to others -- it’s fantastic. 

this kind of segues into the other big criticism i’m seeing, which is simon and baz’s one-day breakup. again, this has already been analyzed well, so i won't ramble about it, but wayward son was their breakup. metaphorically speaking. and i’m glad that it didn’t take some big, grand moment for them to get back together, even though it would have been narratively cathartic. that’s not how life works - it was so much better and realistic to have simon face the harsh difficulties of TRYING than dragging out a separation plot line that would have added NOTHING to his character. or baz’s. the only thing about their entire relationship that i would have done a bit differently is shorten the timeline, because a year and a half is a very long and honestly unrealistic time to go in a relationship without talking about sexual history or going on dates, even if there’s a lot of baggage. but that’s not that big a deal and i’m easily able to look past it.

(as a side note I'm getting annoyed at seeing all these takes that there’s too much sexual content. like i get it because the first two books are solidly YA and this is being marketed as YA even though it’s definitely NA, but like....sex is important. sex scenes and sexual content are an extremely important part of depicting the human experience. and lack of sex as well!! every single intimate scene between them was NOT super graphic and had such incredibly important significance narratively and character-wise - and yeah that includes any kinks that were brought up, like jesus they’re in their 20s and have been in a non-sexual relationship for a year and a half i think it’s pretty fucking relevant that there are intimate scenes!!! anyway moving on.)

i really loved penny and shepard’s plot - their relationship was so wonderful and charming and excellent for their characters, and i only wish we could have gotten their demon plot threaded into the larger picture, because after shepard was cured it felt like they were just standing there. that’s one of my very few complaints about the book. but they’re such good characters and i love them SO MUCH.

AND THANK GOD FOR AGATHA AND NIAMH. like i cannot put into words how fucking happy i was when i realized where that was headed. the cinematic nature of agatha and niamh helping the goat give birth while simon’s flying in the chapel and being targeted by a mob was just. so cool like i can’t even describe it it was so coooooool and then agatha and niamh KISSING and agatha found her PLACE and I'm so happy for her.

just in general the characters and relationships were fucking exquisite. i can’t help but love the way RR writes, especially her dialogue. it’s so real and three dimensional and her characters truly come alive and i care about them and love them so much. i’m so happy they’re happy, i wouldn’t have been able to stand it if they weren’t.

and everything got wrapped up so well in my opinion!! i don’t know what the hell people are talking about when they say they still have questions, like girl what about??? simon found his family, simon got a sword that isn’t tied to trauma, baz found out that he’ll get to grow old with simon, all their families are okay, penny and shepard are in love, agatha’s herding goats and a lesbian, there will probably be new threats and antagonists but they'll be able to handle them, life will continue to be difficult but they’ll get through it like WHAT do you not understand what’s not clicking i genuinely want to know. 

ok actually i have ONE single question and that’s. did baz pick up the sword at the end. because the way it’s written it sounds like he did and i like do not understand that at all. someone answer please.

anyway that’s my review 10/10 would recommend