#he’s so gay he makes straight relationships gay

[aphconfessions]

Why is it so hard for everyone to understand that Russia is straight? Every fucking one in this fandom headcanons him as gay, gay, gay! He can be straight too, fuckers.

It's so tiring, especially since Russia is my boyfriend too. I've literally been shifting to the Hetalia universe for like a year now, and he told me straight up that he is STRAIGHT and NOT ATTRACTED TO MEN! Yet this fandom keeps shipping him with men. All. The. Fucking. Time.

Like, no offense to gay people or anything, but is it that hard to comprehend that he's not gay? He's fucking RUSSIA for fuck's sake! Being gay is illegal there!

And also, stop shipping him with his enemies. America does not love him, they hate each other! Neither does Lithuania love him because he's straight and with Belarus! And China literally has a genderbend you can ship Russia with, so you don't have to ship him with the male version! CAUSE HES STRAIGHT!!

*sighs* I'm just really tired, especially as his girlfriend because whenever someone says he's gay or he's in a relationship with America or someone else he would NEVER get in a relationship with because he's STRAIGHT, I feel like I'm being erased. And I feel like I'm... I'm not worth...

*Begins crying*

Russia: *Enters my room* [Anon]? What's wrong?

Me: Sorry Russia, I was just... Defending you, our relationship, you know.... Everyone in the Hetalia fandom says you're gay when you're not even gay 'cause you're dating me and your straight.....

Russia: *Clenches fist, gritting teeth* Those damn... HEY, HETALIA FANDOM, IF YOU'RE READING THIS, I WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW, I AM STRAIGHT NOT GAY, I AM DATING THIS ANON, AND SHES A GIRL, AND I DONT LIKE GUYS ESPECIALLY AMERICA CAUSE WERE ENEMIES! *Turns to me* Honey, I... I didn't know this was happening.... *Turns back to Hetalia fandom* NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID! YOU MADE MY PRECIOUS GIRLFRIEND CRY?!?! YOU PSYCHOPATHS, I DONT WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU!! *Hugs me*

Me: *Sniffs* Thanks Russia, and thank YOU Hetalia fandom for making me feel like shit because you keep saying Russia is gay... *Hugs him back*

.

[tossawary]

Recent "Star Trek" reboot universes have really tried to sell me on three different romances for Spock with other TOS characters whom he did not have romantic relationships (at least not positive ones) with in TOS, which makes it particularly annoying when some fans try to squirm away from the idea of ST ever doing a future reboot or remake in which Spock/Kirk are explicitly queer.

Like, "But it's not in the original! They want to be faithful to the original!" really, REALLY does not pass the "I think you might just be discomforted by queerness and you should work on that, rather than making appeals to the authority of textual accuracy to avoid being called a homophobe or transphobe" check here. Because it's not as though these reboots care about perfect faithfulness on pretty much any other front. We'll accept that the costumes and special effects get updated to move with the times, we'll accept wildly different characterization choices that essentially give these characters new personalities, we'll accept new timelines that change the entire political map of the galaxy, but you as a fan draw the line at "What if this character was bisexual this time?" Really???

To be clear, I am not trying to dunk on Spock/Uhura, Spock/Chapel, or Spock/T'Pring here, I am merely trying to illustrate a frustrating double-standard. TOS Uhura does notably flirt with Spock several times! I see it! I remember TOS Chapel's feelings for Spock being one-sided, but I also don't think it's a bad thing to try to update TOS's more misogynistic writing choices regarding female characters. TOS T'Pring did... kind of try to kill Spock because she didn't want to marry him, but again, I don't necessarily think it's immediately a bad thing to try to explore her as a character and her betrothal to Spock. It's fine! It's fine by me to explore new takes in new AUs.

It's just that none of that evidence from TOS for those relationships holds much of a candle to whatever the fuck Kirk and Spock had going on to inspire The Premise. "Amok Time" is an Experience. There's only so many times that Kirk can say something like, "The cost [of abandoning Spock] would have been my soul," before you want to put your face in your hands. They are taking shiny pebbles from TOS and trying their very best to sell them to me as the basis for romantic relationships in reboots, sure, while they are standing in the shadow of Spirk Evidence Mountain (TOS).

(Yes, I have seen the recent "Unification" short film. Yes, I enjoyed it. No, I will not consider Spirk "officially canon" until all plausible deniability for the squirmy folks has been completely, explicitly destroyed by a HUMAN kiss onscreen.)

And okay, I must admit, at the moment, I don't actually want Spirk to eventually happen in "Strange New Worlds" now that they've finally met. I'm mostly indifferent to their Spock and Kirk actors, personally, and the writing for every canonical romantic relationship in both SNW and "Discovery" so far has gotten a solid "well, they certainly are standing next to each other" from me. (Yes, even the gay marriage in "Discovery". I just haven't been into it so far.) I think the writers would fumble Spirk if they tried it in this specific show and then annoying fans would use the fumble as "evidence" never to try to do Spirk or queer retakes on other TOS characters ever again, or as "proof" against other queer ST in other shows characters generally.

I'm mostly just mildly annoyed that I have to keep watching Spock specifically, famously read by many people as a queer man, be straight and messy about it, especially when there has not really been a significant queer relationship onscreen in SNW yet, unless you count M'Benga's daughter Rukiya and her glow cloud friend named Debra, which I personally don't, honestly. I'd like an onscreen relationship with a main character with zero plausible deniability. There's definitely nothing yet that comes remotely close to the screentime that Spock/Chapel, Spock/T'Pring, and Kirk/La'an have all been given so far, unfortunately. (Sulu is not here yet. Scotty has just shown up. If Scotty gets to make out with a guy next season, or Uhura or Ortegas gets to make out with a lady, without it being part of some god-like-being's fantasy world, then I may be satisfied.) (Also, yes, I am aware of queer characters and relationships in other "Star Trek" shows, thanks. I very much enjoyed Mariner having her incredibly silly breakup with her girlfriend in "Lower Decks".)

"Star Trek" is one of those properties where some people's double-standards regarding romantic interpretations of the original series really jump out. "They can't do Kirk/Spock because they want to be faithful to the original!" Get real.

[janceezer]

The funniest (& saddest) thing about mr co creator arcane (Christian Linke) (a male that benefits from the patriarchy and its privileges) is that he said the asexual thing all on his own, here is what’s wrong with that, with a deep analysis relating to sociology / the patriarchy:

1: Misunderstanding the asexual definition, thinking it’s some literal „STOP” sign that says *thinking jayce and viktor can be romantic or physical with eachother is illegal* lmao.

2: He said this ALONE. out of his own volition, pretending like he spoke for the WHOLE TEAM OF ANIMATORS, EXECS, WRITERS, ETC….That’s disgusting and to me, sounds like you’re pulling an authority card. which feels severely toxic. you did not make that show ALONE.

3: You can not make a show in which you so obviously gave people many context clues of romantic interest or physical contact / attraction, intentionally, and be like „throwing up card asexual because i think asexual means jayvik dead”. „tHeYrE bRoThErs”. Sir do u interact with your siblings like this? I sure DON’T.

4: Elaboraring on point three, it’s giving SEVERE, homophobia. like SEVERE. You really are trying to throw up some ultimate magic spell to make people think they’re famillial and not queerplatonic or outright romantic…? Like that just signs to me that you dislike seeing gay men (and those rooting for them) win.

5: Elaborating on point 4, i think that usually stems from internalised or societal toxic masculinity. People stereotype gay people as being emotional „softies” and thus „less macho” or less of a (in stereotypical definitions) „man”. But, that patriarchal definition is toxic in and out of its own? so you project „ew they’re not gay but brothers” because ew they’re more emotional than straight men that way!!!! in ur eyes.

6: Building more on that, it comes off as though you are favoring lesbian relationships. Why?Because they are in the eye of the patriarchy, taken more as girls being silly, more broadly accepted because women are less privileged. & some men even fetishise gay women.

————————————————————————

In short Christian Linke, is just someone who benefits from the patriarchy as a privileged male. Especially in comparison to queer men, disabled people and ace people. He does not seem to understand the viewpoint, of the communities he is discriminating, misunderstanding and stereotyping.

[luckyarchivist]

What do you think are the LI'S sexual orientations ??(from touchstarved)

I think the easy answer is "they're all bi/pan" because that's canon! Like, you as MC can be any gender and the LIs, ostensibly, either are or will be attracted to you.

Unfortunately, because I am bi/pan, that is also the answer I agree with most. I do this thing where if someone in fiction doesn't strike my gaydar a certain way, I just assume they're bi. Something something assuming others share my personal experience. And none of the LIs in TS strike me as being definitely gay or definitely straight, so...

I could (and did) elaborate more, but the ultimate answer is, yeah, I think they all like everybody! So feel free not to read below for my more yappy answer, which goes into my specific thoughts about each LI's sexual orientation.

Ais: Oh, yeah. This guy is bisexual in my head and I cannot imagine him being anything else. I think he probably very slightly leans towards a preference for men, but has definitely had partners of all genders.

Vere: Although I don't think Vere has a gender preference as far as a partner, I have this idea that he prefers people who present very strongly on one side of the spectrum or another: either very masculinely or very femininely. Maybe he wants to be the only androgynous-looking one in the relationship? I think that's a little selfish, but whatever.

Kuras: Asexual for me. He's done it, okay? He's danced the horizontal tango. He's been alive too long, and loved too many people, not to. But he doesn't feel attracted to people, sexually. As far as gender preferences for romance... I don't even think Kuras is working from the same page when it comes to human gender. Like, he's probably got some angel gender that got simplified by humans into "he/him" and he's just going with that.

Leander: Literally the king of the pansexuals. This man doesn't care what you identify as or what you look like, and different things on different people make them attractive to him. If you're hot in a way that strikes him right — a cute, crooked smile; a sturdy, sensual body; a keen, sharp mind; a naive, innocent outlook on the world that he can take advantage of — he'll like you, and he'll probably tell you, too.

Mhin: Demisexual and it's so important to me. They will not be impressed by your hotness; you will have to break past their chilly exterior first and only then will they want to bed you. As far as gender preferences, though, I think Mhin generally prefers women and nonbinary people to men.

And, of course, I can't forget my DLC love interests:

Sen: What's the sexuality where you just ignore whatever you're attracted to? Yeah. That's her. She's definitely feeling something! And while she's not a lesbian, it's definitely something that she feels around more women then men! But not only is she not going to act on it, she's not even going to think about it. Or, she's going to make an attempt, at least.

Elyon: I just feel like, as a brothel owner, this guy's gotta have a complex relationship with his sexuality. I'm not sure what the problem is, and I feel like if I try to explain it I'll sound like an idiot? But it has something to do with his position over all these hot people who are pawning sex for money, and his own warped interpretation of himself.

If you got all the way down here, anon, I hope that answered your question! And if not... I still hope I answered your question!!

[toastandersmith]

journaling supernatural related bullshit? hold on *grabs my own notebook*

here we go: join me in my attempts to make a note of every gay (homophobic) joke in supernatural, figuring out whatever the plot of season 7 was (I was told it was the "turducken arc" and thought I could guess what that meant [incorrect]), and whether Crowley and Cas were actually just straight up fucking towards the end of season 6 because oh boy did they milk that running joke to death

Jensen Ackles confuses me

"subject" a friend and fellow test subject I was watching with (the study being the psychological effectsof watching supernatural of course)

"mom" is my mom

ALT TEXT

[page 1]

so the episode where Dean is autistic about cowboys:

I honestly felt sad about him being the button of the joke

"would send him a scotch but he's dead" -subject

"I favor the eternal Tuesday afternoon of an autistic man who died in the bathtub in 1953" -Cas

[page 2]

9/22/24

06.19

"It's not like Cas lives in my ass... Cas get out of my ass!"

"I was never in y--"

keep depowering Cas so he doesn't ruin monster of the week eps

Cas is cheating on Dean

"Crowley and Bobby are married" -subject

Okay. what the fuck was going on between Cas and Crowley in the season 6 finale? It's really not a joke anymore. How many times can you make a joke before it's not a joke anymore?

[page 3]

Crowley makes a deal with Cas. For consistency's sake we must assumed they kissed at least, but we also know that some deals can only be sealed with sex--is the kiss a formality?

Balthazar calls it a marriage

they get really close

after Crowley pokes eve's brain "Chocula here felt every tickle [...] apart from the obvious erotica value, you got me."

DEAN (to SAM) this makes you Lois lane

"a whore is a whore is a whore" -Crowley

"Have you forgotten you're the bottom in this relationship" -Crowley

[page 4]

9/25/24

Season 7 is so fucked

Godstiel is indifferent to sexual orientation "utterly indifferent to sexual orientation" that's--progress

So I did not guess it was borax. but I swear I've heard it somewhere. do not know--but borax killing monsters is too familiar. far too familiar.

So... the turducken arc. That was the most severe mood whiplash I've been through no doubt. I screamed. It's here, I thought. The turducken arc. It's worse. Worse than I expected. how.

when I heard the words "turducken arc," I first imagined a couple things.

[page 5]

haunted turducken. simple, literal.

an arc inside an arc inside an arc. metaphorical, perhaps working from the inside out.

a guy inside another guy etc. maybe a demon. demon turducken.

gets it's name from someone on the show comparing them to a turducken.

some weird hell torture. in between figurative & literal

ultimately I thought it was a metaphor or at least a comparison. Dean being stoned from turducken was just so heartwarming. This episode is perfect.

[page 6]

actually: the biblical monster that can only be killed by borax possesses a megacorporation CEO who makes turducken sandwiches filled with oobleck to mind control the population.

"or are you strictly into dick now" -Sam

"they did it again" (be gay) -mom

that castiel autism goes crazy…

[ashironie]

Sidon/Link- Classic, soft, gay, and angsty, everything you love in a ship!

Yona/Sidon- New but not bad, a cute straight relationship with two queer people.

Link/Yona- …I… I guess it’s straight…? But like… Link has the strange ability to turn any relationship he’s in into a gay relationship (I stand by this especially with Zelink) even if on paper it’s straight. Cute relationship, totally not what you’d expect though.

Yona/Sidon + Sidon/Link- Sidon has two hands and Yona is perfectly fine sharing her soon-to-be husband with his boyfriend, Link is fine with anything and just wants his boyfriend.

Yona/Link/Sidon- they ALL have two hands <3.

[kairithemang0]

Man, Curt's got internalized homophobia so bad that for the first 3 months of their relationship he was convinced Owen was straight before Owen had to scream it in his face that he was gay and then Curt spent another 3 months still calling himself straight to Owen's face and Owen's so sick of it like Curt you 2 are actively fucking EVERY TIME YOU SEE EACH OTHER. AND YOU ARE VERY CLEARLY INTO IT. YOU ARE NOT STRAIGHT SIR STOP LYING TO YOURSELF

internalized homophobia agent curt mega ily

[thefruitbin]

@yaybatman DUDE I WHOLEHEARTEDLY AGREE. I recently read the three jokers cuz it was such an interesting premise for funsies and then at the end they did this twist (spoilers up ahead) where it ends up being that jokers family wanted to get away from him and they faked their deaths?.??. And batman knew his name week one after joker became joker. Wtf is that. Sorry it just felt like such a weak twist. Like oh, actually 🤓🤓 joker was a bad person even still!! Teehee another twist to his backstory!! Bro idgaf, do something interesting with who joker is currently!

What makes him tick?? What would happen if actually hes on the brink, whats he do when hes genuinely cornered, when his mask is off?? Whats his perspective on things, what are his thought processes??? Interpersonal relationships?,?,Does he get his suits tailored bro?? does bro have chronic pain issues??? does joker loathe not having powers or does he take that in stride? (Look i havent read all the comics so im unsure if these r answered sorry :0)

I dont like this reliance on tkj if that even makes sense. I dont even like the whole thing of his life revolving around ONLY batman. Im sure yes he finds batman interesting as hell (hehe) but RAHH IM SORRY IM JUST SICK OF “batman created the joker heh >:0)! The joker ONLY cares about batman!! without batman! Crime has no punchline 😈” i feel like there can be more to it than that. i like to think he was doing crime way before batman, before gotham, but he just showed up one day as if he always existed there!

In then end, it rlly does just feel so.. wrong in a way to give this queercoded man a wife, i wouldnt mind if jokers bi or pan fr, but the thing that irks me is this sense of full erasure, like purposefully making it so joker is in a heterosexual relationship and has a kid on the way. Like to “prove” to ppl that yeah hes straight, and even with his makeup, now its not makeup, its from the vat of chemicals actually, staining his lips red and bleaching his skin ☝️ further erasing that originally queer subtext where he would put on makeup. It feels so weird. I dont necessarily need joker to be gay (although i absolutely think hes gay or queer in some way), but they cannot deny the queer subtext (that i acknowledge definitely was put in for negative reasons, making this queer coded character an outcast who is bad and a villain etc etc. very clear motives there.)

Its so weird that theyd erase those specific parts of him. Not even weird just.. downright angering. Bcuz ur erasing jokers queerness… why? Its weirder to erase these traits that this character consistently has had. I know its prolly to better appease to an audience, but think about like…. Why does erasing his traits do that.

Like own up to it at this point, jokers traits were put there for a reason but now you can use that in a different way, rather than completely erasing those traits that ppl do relate to. Or even his clown theme, or the way he curates his appearance. He tends to look not well put together or trashed when jokers whole personality is putting on a show. He puts on fancy suits bro, and does his hair and makeup. Let him do just that. And the thing is, it would be far more interesting if they did decide to recognize that joker is a queer man. So many ways to explore that, so many things to analyze and nope. Joker just likes being edgy and stuff lol 🤓‼️ thats it. BRO LIKE I WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT HIM!!! FUCKKKK. WITH THIS BACKSTORY ITS LIKE THEY R OBSESSED NOT WITH JOKERS CHARACTER, BUT ABOUT HIS BACKSTORY ONLY. JUST LIKE OVER AND OVER WITH REDHOOD AND JASON TODD!! (Which btw other than that being a poll i dont think joker would dare kill a robin not out of being nice but out of not wanting to break this precarious thing with batman. his life doesnt revolve around batman, but he definitely starts to find comfort and routine in their “dance”)

Im gunna be real I prefer jokers backstory to not be known. I personally dont see the ace chemicals backstory as canon, nor do i see joker killing jason todd as canon (since.. people literally voted to kill a child instead of a literal murderer 😭 joker himself would find this ironic like what)

Idk i dont like how DC keeps trying to de-mystify joker, or make him rlly gritty and edgy (same with batman, bats is meant to be compassionate, not an asshole!!!) like wtf happened to jokers clown schtick, hes ripping his face off and its like. Why is that actually boring? The writers keep trying to one up each other in who can make joker do the “darkest” shit and its so predictable and boring. Where is the funny clown. The funny idiot smart genius clown weirdo villain. The guy who curates his appearance and crimes?

The creators themselves say there isn’t a definitive backstory, which i much rather prefer. idk why but the vat of chemicals story being seen as his origin story just doesnt sit right with me. I like a joker who deadass has to put on his makeup, or fuck it id rather not know why he has pale skin. I like the idea that hes as human as batman (i always thought it cool that they both dont use powers! Especially since batman is so adamant on preferring not to have powers anyway). Ppl say “oh but hes scarier if hes kinda inhuman or just a killer” or somn and its like, isnt it scarier that he is human? killers in the real world are human, and so is joker. U cant change that. even if joker himself loathes the idea that hes fallible. Isnt it scarier to think wow. That rlly hes as human as any of us and yet he does the things he does? That the range of humanity extends to cruelty?

“They've given many origins of the Joker, how he came to be. That doesn't seem to matter—just how he is now. I never intended to give a reason for his appearance. We discussed that and Bill [Finger] and I never wanted to change it at that time. I thought—and he agreed—that it takes away some of the essential mystery."

– Jerry Robinson, the Joker's creator

[team-118]

thinking 201 thoughts...what do you think 911 fox's plan was when they introduced eddie like That and had buck react Like That. like what was even the goal

[alchemiclee]

other people can ship what they want, but I will only ship aventurine gay and never a straight ship. the dynamic of straight relationships/ships is never balanced (societies fault mostly) and that boy sure needs some balance. if you ignore the het-ifying of gay relationships with the whole pointless top/bottom debate, gay relationships are more equal by nature. aven needs someone in his life who is his equal.

for example, in the story it was pointed out the footprints were side by side when he was walking with ratio. therefore ratio sees him as his equal. and i'm sure aven would feel more at ease with him if he wasn't dealing with everything he was atm. aven is such an unbalanced character fighting against an eternal power struggle of everyone towering above him, trying to beat his luck, and he's trying to get above for once. then ratio appears, treating him as an equal, balancing him. even if you dont see it as a ship/see it as a platonic ship/nonromantic/friends you still have to admit how good their dynamic is.

[disclaimer edit: "by nature" I mean society's and most individual peoples nature. nature not meaning "science" but the built in habit that's existed in society and taught to people for millenia and people treat as "fact" (when it's not tbh) sorry for confusion! dont know how to explain it well! i was half asleep when i made this post idk what i was trying to say exaclty but it upset someome so maybe delete later]

[eremin0109]

At this point if anyone asks Junmo what he feels about Gicheol, he'll just shoot them in the face and then blow his own brains off.

[cyellolemon]

Dragon Quest V have been one of my favorite games ever since i'm a kid and uh. You have to choose among 3 girls your wife and have kids with her but the thing is that i want the mc to marry his more or less childhood friend Harry, and if you make him trans it can be 100% coherent with the scenario. So here we are

[skrunksthatwunk]

aurghhh ok still rewatching '97 and the way guts and casca only have the room to breathe and really come to understand and care for each other in griffith's absence because he has such a strong hold over them both.... and the way their mutual dedication to him is what causes them to bicker for years (casca thinks he's not serving him well enough, guts thinks she doesn't get that he cares/how much he cares, casca's jealousy over griffith's feelings for guts, how he won his heart without even trying or being aware of it or doing anything with it) and is also a big part of what brings them together (earlier when guts deviates from the plan to save griffith and she commends him, in the cave casca opening up about griffith and her's past, showing that vulnerability, while it's mostly confrontational, leads to guts kinda getting her better, and his efforts to save and protect her (falling off the cliff with her, taking on the 100 men so she can escape, encouraging her to return to griffith so she can help him because it's what she feels she's meant to do (her dream, the direction in life guts shares and yet is questioning because of griffith's speech at the fountain, whether or not it's enough to serve him if it means he'll never be a true friend in griffith's eyes because he's not an equal), supporting the idea of her being with griffith/being his most important person like he won't because he doesn't view it as a competition like she has been since day one) leading to her realizing that he's kind of not that bad a guy and they have a lot more in common that she thought. and how the bonfire of dreams conversation is guts opening up to her in kind, the answer to her talking about how griffith saved her, how she feels. how neither of them ever call it love but it's something they know they both have for griffith. how it's something they're beginning to have for each other, different in ways they couldn't put a word to. because they're equals this time. the way griffith kind of becomes less and less important as they find other reasons to live and fight, as they become less singularly obsessed with him. how griffith is unable to stand it, guts' personhood, that agency and peer-to-peer equality he claimed to want (and perhaps truly did) that disappeared guts from his life, his plans, his side. how it barely even matters to griffith how casca changes because he never wanted her like she wanted him. god i can't fucking stand their shakespearean nonsense drama (<- hopelessly in love with their interpersonal dynamics)

[weed-cat]

.

[gregmarriage]

x files 1x08 ‘ice’ was so fucking funny for having mulder make a joke about the size of his dick in front of two other men, and scully touch a woman’s chest as part of a medical exam, then immediately share a lesbian look with her, that has nothing to do with said medical exam

[dapperrokyuu]

Extremely funny that I cannot imagine even crackshipping Luka with anyone else in the cast besides Hyuna because thats how obsessed he is with her, shfiejfhefjek-