#he’s not exactly a seer everything he senses is going on in the present but they’re only so faintly going on in the present that it’s sorta

[earl-grey-crow]

Azael Appreciation Post

[acourtofthought]

I never like when some use excerpts like this as proof of endgame:

It made sense, I supposed, that Azriel alone had listened to her. The male who heard things others could not …

When those excerpts completely gloss over the fact that Azriel was not in fact the lone person to listen to Elain and that they tend to be a somewhat single minded view from Feyre's perspective. It's not that she's an unreliable narrator however she's not going to be sitting there thinking, "Hey! I contributed to helping Elain too!" and we know she's still trying to figure out where Lucien fits into everything so she does show a bias towards members of the IC.

First off, Lucien was not present when Elain mentioned her first vision to Feyre, about the bird made of fire. And I'm almost certain Feyre hasn't had any real experience with Seers at this point to make the connection.

Lucien was also not present for the second however Azriel was meaning Azriel was able to respond in the moment:

Jaw tight with a hint of frustration, Lucien excused himself to his room.

“No. I … I was sleeping, but I heard …” She shook her head. Blinked at our formal attire, the dark crown atop my head—and Rhysand’s. “I didn’t hear you.”

Azriel stepped forward. “But you heard something else.”

Elain seemed about to nod, but only backed away. “I think I was dreaming,” she murmured. “I think I’m always dreaming these days.”

“Let me get you some hot milk,” I said, putting a hand on her elbow to guide her into the sitting room.

But Elain shook me off, heading back to the stairs. She said as she climbed the first steps, “I can hear her—crying.” I gripped the bottom post of the banister.

“Who?”

“Everyone thinks she’s dead.” Elain kept walking. “But she’s not. Only—different. Changed. As I was.”

“Who,” I pushed.

But Elain continued up the stairs, that shawl drooping down her back. Nesta stalked from Cassian’s side to approach my own. We both sucked in a breath, to say what, I didn’t know but—

“What did you see,” Azriel said,

Elain paused halfway up the stairs. Slowly, she turned to look back at him. “I saw young hands wither with age. I saw a box of black stone. I saw a feather of fire land on snow and melt it.”

“It was angry,” Elain said quietly. “It was so, so angry that something was taken. So it took something from them as punishment.”

We said nothing. I didn’t know what to say—what to even ask or demand. If the Cauldron had done something to her as well … I faced Azriel, exposing my palms to him. “What does that mean?”

Azriel’s hazel eyes churned as he studied my sister, her too-thin body. And without a word, he winnowed away.

Elain comes upon the group and Az asks Elain a question related to what she heard that Elain doesn't directly respond to. Feyre offers her something to drink then asks two questions that again, Elain doesn't respond to. Then Feyre and Nesta are about to say something else but Az jumps in before they can, asking his second question. This isn't the Az and Elain show, it's Feyre and Az both questioning her, she ignores them at first but after she does give answers about the young hands, box of stone and feather, neither Az or Feyre respond. However Feyre is the one who turns to Az after which he disappears, probably to do research, because Feyre literally says to him, "what does that mean?" Az wasn't taking some super special initiative here, Feyre knows he's the one who can usually give answers to them.

Some time later, we see this conversation:

I didn’t know what to say. Sympathy would likely earn me a tongue-lashing. So I opted for another route. “We need to do something about Elain.”

Nesta stiffened. “And what solution do you propose, exactly? Letting your mate into her mind to scramble things around?”

Nesta paced in front of the darkened fireplace. “Everything has a cost. Maybe the cost of her youth and immortality was losing part of her sanity.”

“What was your cost?”

Nesta stopped moving. “Perhaps it was to see Elain suffer—while I got away unscathed.”

But I trailed her as she strode for the stairs. To where Lucien was now descending the steps—and winced at the sight of her approach.

I rested my head against the embroidered back of the chair and watched Lucien take a seat on the rolled arm of the nearest couch.

“Long day?”

I grunted my response. That metal eye tightened.

“I thought the Prison was another myth.”

“Well, it’s not.”

He weighed my tone, and crossed his arms. “Let me do something. About Elain. I heard—from my room. Everything that happened just now. It wouldn’t hurt to have a healer look her over. Externally and internally.”

Feyre asked Azriel for his advice. No one asked Lucien for his yet he offered it anyway because he was worried about Elain.

It's also important to note that Nesta is the one who brought up the possibility of Elain having gone crazy (since some love to act like Lucien thought Elain had gone insane). Lucien never says that, he first asks to help with Elain (which is a difference between Feyre asking Az and Az then heading off to research after she looked to him with questions) and he mentions having a healer looking her over before Feyre says:

“Do you think the Cauldron made her insane?”

“I think she went through something terrible,” Lucien countered carefully. “And it wouldn’t hurt to have your best healer do a thorough examination.”

Here it's Feyre worried about Elain's mental health whereas Lucien wants to have a healer look over everything. Something he came up with on his own while Az had Feyre standing there handling over half of the interactions with Elain earlier, helping move things in a certain direction. Az left having said nothing at all so we really have no idea exactly what he was personally doing or whether he sent his spies looking for answers while Lucien showed us what he was thinking about Elain.

Azriel and Feyre later train after all this happened and not once does he bring up Elain to her.

They spoke of Mor though. Don't you think if he cared about Elain, he would have been discussing her current state?

Lucien then sits with Elain at the healers recommendation after he specifically asked Feyre to tell him what the healer has to say, which shows his interest and concern.

Two days after that, Feyre and Az train again and Az says nothing of Elain for a second time.

A few days later we see this:

I was still sore enough the next day that I had to send word to Cassian I wasn’t training with him. Or Azriel.

A mistake, perhaps, given that both of them showed up at the door to the town house within minutes, the former demanding what the hell was wrong with me, the latter bearing a tin of salve to help with the aches in my back. I thanked Azriel for the salve and told Cassian to mind his own business.

And then asked him to fly Nesta up to the House of Wind for me, since I certainly couldn’t fly her in—even for a few feet after winnowing.

Azriel and Cassian note Feyre's condition, and she asks Cassian to fly Nesta up to the HOW for her. It's only after she offers to take Elain to the garden, Azriel jumps in to say he can do it.

Does it really seem like it's because he truly wanted to help Elain? Or is it possible he noted his High Lady in pain and wanted to be helpful considering Cassian was already doing something to help her out?

Then we get to "The Scene":

So for all appearances, we will remain unruffled as we prepare for war.”

Mor sagged against the couch cushions. “A war where we have no allies beyond Keir, either in Prythian or beyond it.”

Rhys gave her a sharp look. But Elain said quietly, “The queen might come.”

Silence.

Elain was staring at the unlit fireplace, eyes lost to that vague murkiness.

“What queen,” Nesta said, more tightly than she usually spoke to our sister.

“The one who was cursed.”

“Cursed by the Cauldron,” I clarified to Nesta, pushing off the archway. “When it threw its tantrum after you … left.”

“No.” Elain studied me, then her. “Not that one. The other.”

Azriel asked softly, taking a single step over the threshold and into the sitting room, “What other?”

Elain’s brows twitched toward each other. “The queen—with the feathers of flame.”

The shadowsinger angled his head.

Lucien murmured to me, eye still fixed on Elain, “Should we—does she need …?”

“We’re the ones who need …” Azriel trailed off. “A seer,” he said, more to himself than us. “The Cauldron made you a seer.”

Does it seem like Azriel is the only one listening to her right now? Feyre and Nesta might be confused as to what she's talking about (Lucien too considering he wasn't present for the meeting with the human queens meaning they had background on who "the other" queen might be) but they are the ones responding to what she's saying and they are the ones asking her questions which Elain (not Az) initially provides clarification for. Had they ignored Elain and not asked the questions they did, who knows if her being a Seer would have clicked for Az or whether he would have then asked his own questions.

So truly, how was "Azriel alone the one who listened to her?" That would only be valid if Elain had visions and Lucien (and her sisters) said, "she's fine, there's nothing to worry about, it's just dreams", brushing off her struggles. But the three were all extremely worried about Elain, they just weren't sure what it was they were seeing. That speaks nothing of their connection to Elain as a person and everything to do with their lack of familiarity with Seers. Just because Azriel had the knowledge or means to discover what her powers were called does not prove he cared for Elain or "sees" her. Lucien was genuinely worried for Elain on page in a way that Azriel NEVER was.

This quote actually feels like the entire E/riel ship to me:

… It was like stepping back from a painting to see the entire picture. Up close, the words had been muddled and messy. But from a distance …

When you take a line here and a line there, it looks like there could be something. But when you really look at the entire picture and everything that happens in the lead up to those moments (and even after), it becomes very clear that those lines gets blown out of proportion..

When you look at those chapters in ACOWAR, there's a very real possibility Az was only doing what he did to help Feyre out. We've got multiple examples of where his main focus was on Mor and expressed no real concern for Elain outside of stepping in when they thought his High Lady might need him to, where he never initiated anything when it came to Elain.

But there is no doubt that Lucien's concern during that same time is for Elain and Elain only. The characters went out of their way to keep Lucien away from her yet he still thought of ways to help her or expressed worry for her.

Not to mention I don't think when Elain said, “No one ever does. No one ever looked—not really.” “He did. He saw me. He will not now", her hopes and dreams were that someone would come along who could figure out what her powers were, powers she's only had for a couple of months. To me, Elain's meaning is so much deeper than that.

[charmwasjess]

27 and 29 for the ao3 wrapped game please)

THANK YOU @purple-ant!!! :D :D 29 favorite passage from this year

Of course my inclination is to give you something dramatic and juicy from an unpublished WIP but honestly? I shouldn't laugh so hard at my own penis jokes, but Dooku and Jocasta trying to pick out smutty poetry while (badly, awkwardly) also attempting to make up in the final chapter of Sitting is probably up there. Lol, her little 'fear for your chastity' line when you know she's absolutely already tapped that:

“I am looking for books of love poetry.”

“Love poetry?” Jocasta's eyebrows arched.

“Yes.”

“Is this your idea of a bizarre joke?”

“I am asking very much in earnest.” He wanted to point out that it had taken him a lot to even come here, but she could probably sense exactly how much herself.

“And you could not simply use the holonet?”

“Ah, I’m searching for specifically bad love poetry.” Dooku explained. “Notorious works containing flowery, over-the-top language, saccharine imagery, expected tropes.” He thought about it. “Actually, any truly appalling sexist material… objectifying the female form, outdated gender roles…that would be perfect.”

Jocasta opened her mouth and then closed it. Finally, she said, “I hadn’t taken you for such a romantic.”

“It is merely a gift for someone. A thank-you present.” When she continued to stare at him, he clarified, “I am not attempting to seduce anyone.”

“What an incredible relief. With such an effective technique as that, I was in terror for your chastity.” He watched her fingers fly over the datapad as she entered in a title. “And the intended recipient of this gift is… an enemy of yours?”

“A friend.” Dooku gave a weak smile. “A friend with remarkably poor taste in poetry.”

“Thoughtful.” She skimmed the datapad’s screen with her finger for a few moments. “Here. Aroylio Bogins’s seminal Strums of the Luscious Soul is apparently popular.” She expanded the sample page and read silently, winced, and then read aloud, “She knealth before the strings of my pert love-lyre / My lute clangeth to the song / of her tongue’s nimble ministry…”

“Oh no.” Dooku said faintly, covering his mouth with a hand.

“You said ‘truly appalling.’”

“…‘ministry’?” He repeated, still stricken, shaking his head. “Ah, perhaps something less explicit? I do not wish to give the wrong impression of my intentions.”

“Wise.” Jocasta typed a few more entries, then selected again. “What about the Mrryum Starflower volumes? Starflower is a pseudonym of a male author writing in the voice of an imagined teenaged shepherdess in the throes of…well, excruciating verse, but also love, I suppose.” She clicked through more information. “And, horrifyingly, the poems seem to be intended with teenage girls as the target audience, Force preserve them, so the content rating indicates they should be free of any, ah, clanging love-lyres.”

“Thank the pitiless stars for that.” Dooku murmured. “But Mrryum Starflower seems perfect for my purposes.”

“I sent the reference numbers to you. You’ll have to go out to a bookshop though. Those works aren’t in the Jedi Archives.” That seemed obvious since he was giving the books away as a gift, but Jocasta said it as a point of particular pride, as if she wanted him to know that she had deliberately purged such material from the collection. Maybe she had.

But I'm a self-indulgent brat at heart so here's a little dramatic WIP from an upcoming fic:

“Sy, that’s enough.” Dooku drew Sifo-Dyas’s hands away from scrabbling at the hatch. The door was mechanized; there was no way he could actually open it from the inside while the ship was in flight, but he did not seem to realize he was hurting himself in the attempt. Blood smeared the seam where he had tried to work his fingertips into the gap and pry it open.   “Don't you see? We both just go out.” The seer’s eyes were entirely black from pupil to eyelid, as bright and wild as stars. He sounded almost euphoric. “It fixes everything!”

27 music I listen to while writing

What a fitting question from you in particular, considering I was lucky enough to snag you as a friend over a little chat about playlists! :D In that spirit, I have to share the playlist in question, my general Burning Stars Pure Idiot Vibes playlist. ❤️

[theomnicode]

I've thought about third eye and it being a manifestation of seer-like abilities in OPM that stems from intuition, where the character is able to read body language and read and predict enemy movement and practically predict the future in Saitama's case because his intuition is his dominant cognitive function...it is said about the infj mbti personality type that they basically have psychic-like abilities and funnily enough, their superpower would probably be telepathy/mind control.

So I thought I'd give an example of how introverted intuition and extroverted feeling actually works irl, just for fun. And how a person is able to map the world around them in future-perspective. WC readers know what's coming up, so...

So my SO was sitting on my unsteady gaming chair and he had lager on my mousepad and my comp table has one of those pullable keyboard boards. He was playing splatoon 3 on my switch and he was getting agitated because comp games weren't going too well.

I know him so I know his reactions, but I could also easily predict what was about to happen, just based on that agitation and the fact that he had put the lager on my pullable board, which if you bump, it would bump the lager down.

I did not say anything to warn him, because if you're self-conscious, such behaviour of "this should be done that way because I just know something will happen" could easily be seen as nagging, pointless perfectionism and holier than thou attitude at times.

Insecurities btw.

Hindsight is 20/20 and so, 5 minutes later, he reacted exactly as I foresaw. He teetered unsteadily on my chair and his leg bumped the board and the lager fell upside down, though magically missed my mouse and computer.

Easy to predict I suppose, especially because I know him.

--

Now a bit more abstract one.

Today at work when I was carrying my tray of food cuz my new workplace has lunch restaurant, a customer slowly juked in front of me and just walked normally, but my first somewhat conscious thought process was:

"He did not see me behind him/he's not aware of me, I best hold my tray in preparation if he might accidentally bump into me."

So I walked normally to my seat and whadduja know, just as I was in position next to him, he suddenly started taking his coat off and straightened his hand and bumped me with that hand.

But I was already subconsciously prepared for something to happen, just not exactly what since intuition often works in the approximates, because I was aware that he was not aware of me, so I was able to still hold my tray and nothing flew off and thankfully he bumped into me and not my tray holding food. He apologized to me and I just went to my seat and ate my food and thought nothing of it.

--

Intuition is often termed "gut-feeling", but it should not be confused with instinct.

If any of this sounds weird...well now you know why Saitama doesn't wanna talk about his powers or why it would seem that some of his decision making seems completely out there LOL. If he even consciously knows about them.

Such as "just knowing" that if he did this and that, the ship he was surfing on would get into a good position to protect the heroes and "just knowing" they would be unharmed when the centipede carcass fell, because he could predict where it would land. Within his sensing abilities ofc.

And why being future oriented and relying on intuition can sometimes be costly when reality and present time comes knocking at the door, if you rely on intuition too much and not extroverted sensing, which is the weakest cognitive function. Thinking you know everything that is going to happen.

As to why they're manifesting more strongly during Garou fight…it is a stress reaction to MA arc.

"Oh man my house is on fire, why did this happen?"

(Hilariously enough, there is a house on fire OVA reference.)

He seemed to be showing difficulty accessing his intuition after he came back from the future, which seems understandable, because he stopped trusting in that, so he attempted to gauge what was happening in the present.

[imnotusedtobeingloved]

A/B/C/D/E/F/G/H/I/J/K/L/M/N/O/P/Q/R/S/T/U/V/W/X/Y/Z

 FROM THE CHARACTER ALPHABET WITH IVAR RAGNARSSON.

REQUESTED BY: @witch-of-letters

A - affection (how affectionate are they? what do they enjoy?)

At first? Not at all.

The only person he is used to getting affection from is Aslaug, so naturally you might earn a few sceptical looks from him if you try to get close.

Nevertheless he quickly learns how pleasant the attention of someone else can be, but tries to be subtle about it. He wouldn’t want to tell you upfront that he enjoys having you close or that he likes your touch, because he fears the rejection that might come with it.

In time, he would alert you with a little nudge here and there whenever he requires your tenderness.

Slowly but surely Ivar would get more daring, trying to innitiate the soft touches himself. If you don’t pull back, he’ll get more sure of himself and as soon as it is clear to him that you are serious about him, you’ll be the only person in Kattegat to recieve affectionate touches from Ivar without any deadly concequences.

What he loves most is either having his head placed on your chest or stomach, feeling you breathe and with your hands in his hair, or laying on the side, with you wrapped around his back.

B - bodypart (what’s their favorite bodypart on their partner and them?)

His arms.

His arms have been a replacement for his legs for all his life. Since he has to crawl everywhere until he has his crutches, they are well built and knowing that you love being wrapped inside them, makes Ivar love them even more.

Your legs.

He likes your legs because they are what he cannot have. He likes them because his are so flawed, and yet you choose to love them anyways. And he likes them due to their shape, the softness of your skin and how they look when you move around.

C - commitment (how quick are they to commit?)

Not that quick.

Ivar is reluctant, to say the least.

He needs to be 100% sure that you are commited to him, before he will make any kind of promises to you. It would be a long process full of selfdoubt, selfdeprication and fear of betrayal.

Ivar would also visit the seer and ask about a future with you by his side. The seers answers would be, as always, very vague (if he says something at all).

In addition to all those troubles, his brothers are in the midst of it. Ubbe and Hvitserk might be the only positive voices of reason at times (apart from Aslaug), while Bjorn would not really concern himself with it. Sigurd on the other hand would throw salt at Ivars mental wounds, saying you were only with him out of pity.

So the viking has no real option but to rely on you reassurance and your loving words. You’d probably have to spend months proving that you are serious about him, because he has been hurt and rediculed so many times before, but in the end it’s all worth it.

Once Ivar chooses to fully commit to you, he’s there to stay.

D - dates (what would dates with them look like? what would they plan?)

Ivar is usually not that much of a planner when it comes to dates.

Normally he is content with finding a secluded place to spend time with you, away from the crowds and far, far away from his relatives.

But if, for any reason, a special occassion should arise, he would definetely ask his brothers for help as much as he hates it.

He would send Hvitserk to distract you with requests and tasks all day, while Ubbe helps him set everything up in a little cabin in the woods. Ivar would ask Aslaug to have some thralls bring plates of food as well.

E - experience (how many relationships have they had before?)

Close to nothing, really.

Ivar did not have any experience with real love and he was very sceptical of it.

The few kisses and cuddles he may have had, have all come from the thralls his family owns.

Apart from that, he has not been interested in anybody, other than finding some attractive on the outside. Too often he had to find out the hard way that the insides of people where much more ugly than the exterior.

So in response to that Ivar mainly focused on his training and on becoming a better viking, until you came along.

F - family (do they want to start a family?)

Ivar would love to start a family.

At first, he is actually astounded that you’d bring it up.

For a long time, he could’ve never imagined someone wanting to have a family with him. To have a child with him (no matter if it’s your own or adopted). So when you suggest it, he is mindblown for a second, before he cups your face, telling you that it is what he longed for all along.

He would be ecstatic upon the idea of having an heir. Or two. Or more. But at least one is fair.

For him, it feels like everything is finally falling into the right place.

G - generosity (do they give their partner a lot of presents? if so, what?)

Exceptionally generous.

And you don’t even have to ask for them.

Ivar brings tons of goods and riches home from every raid, where you can pick whatever you like. He makes sure to safe the best pieces for you and keeps an eye out for suvenirs he knows you might love.

Should you require anything else Ivar has enough resources to get you everything you want from the market. Since Aslaugs rule in Ragnars absence, Kattegat has also transformed into an important trading center, will all kinds of diverse products.

Ivar sees to it, that you have anything you could possible require, even in his absence.

He spoils you, not gonna lie.

H - heaven (how would they react if they lost their partner?)

Ivar would never recover from the loss.

After everything that happened to his family, all the betrayals and the lies and the fights, you were the one thing to keep him going. You had been there for him everytime, no matter how hard it was. No matter how dangerous it got, no matter how exhausted you were.

But now?

There was nothing.

No one.

And no way to bring you back.

One of the things that scares Ivar most is how numb everything feels. There was nobody to be angry at. Nobody to blame, except for the illness that took you away. And against something like that, not even Ivar the Boneless could seek revenge.

He should have known when you confessed you love, that you were just another thing he had to lose. First it was his father, then his mother, then Helga and Floki and now... there was nothing left of him.

Still your face, your smell, you presence would follow him everywhere he goes.

And he’d beg you to haunt him.

I - i love you (who says the three magic words first and why?)

It depends.

The only way Ivar would say it first is if he is frantic. Either in a screaming match, or when you are close to leaving him.

When neither of those are likely though, this viking would most definetely wait until you’ve said it first. For a long time he does not even dare to hope that you will. He is still a cripple after all, no amout of love could ever change that and he fears the day you realize it. Ivar is so used to rejection that he tells himself it wouldn’t hurt if you left. But deep down he knows it would. That’s why he always hesitates in the very last second, drawing back. 

He leaves the first ‘i love you’ to you. But when it comes, you’ve never seen him smile that big. He can’t believe his luck. Can’t believe that you truly choose him over anyone else.

Ivar will rarely outright tell you that he loves you and only chooses particular moments for it.

But that just makes it all the more special.

J - journey (how did they first meet their partner?)

Unfortunately, you met Ivar while his men were preparing for a raid.

You stumbled upon their camp and he questioned you, demanding informations. This way he could gather when the best time for an attack might be. But not only that. You captured his interest in a way he would not have expected.

There was something in the way you spoke and the way you carried yourself that made him hesitate. He supposed that was what it must have felt like for his father with that unlucky priest Floki killed in the end. But then again, in time, he discovered it wasn’t quite the same. There was something more that drew him to you, apart from curiosity.

And he intended to find out what exactly it was.

Who knows after all?

Maybe it was fate.

K - kisses (what are their kisses like?)

Ivars kisses are desperate.

Desperate for warmth, desperate for acceptance, desperate for belonging.

He puts his emotions into every kiss and there is no such thing as ‘just a peck’ with him. Ivar likes to feel needed. He likes showing you how much he loves you, rather than expressing it with words.

He’s also not ashamed to kiss you in front of an audience, frankly he does not care who sees it, because you’re the only one that counts (but he will stop should it make you uncomfortable). He does not fear that it might make him seem weak, that thought is pretty ridiculous to him.

If anything, he’s even more proud to be the one you want.

L - love language (what’s their love language?)

Ivars love language is physical touch closely followed by words of affirmation.

Ivar feels loved the most if he recieves physical touch. He senses that most people around him are too intimidated to get close, or are simply put off by his condition. As a result of that, he rarely gets affectionate touches or attention, which he craves dearly. Even more so since Aslaug is dead and Floki and Helga are both gone. It’s important to Ivar that his partner makes him feel appreciated this way, even if it’s just a hand on his arm at the table, or your fingers laced with his. Every little touch counts.

The second best way to make him happy is through words of affirmation. Words have great meaning to Ivar, so beware of saying anything hurtful to him, for it might stay with him for a lifetime. In time you may notice that especially Ragnars last words “happiness means nothing” are stuck in Ivars head. Words impact him greatly, and you may have to undo some of the damage others have caused in his mind, with a few well-placed strikes. Ivar will appreciate it if you reassure him of your love with the right words at the right time.

M - memory (what’s their favorite memory of the relationship?)

The morning after the first night spend together.

Back then he had no idea how it happened or how you did it.

You were still snoring next to him when he came to realize he didn’t just like you. He loved you. And while you moved around, hugging the fur close to your chest a thousand emotions had swirled in his head. He was confused, surprised and completely thrown aback about what you did to him. About how you made his heart beat faster and his limbs tingle with the need to draw you closer. He watched, until the sun tickled your skin, rousing you from your sleep and when you opened your eyes to look at him with that smile... you knocked the breath out of his lungs.

Whenever he thinks back to that morning now, you catch him with an absent-minded smile on his lips.

N - newborn (how would they react to expecting a child? how would they deal with the pregnancy?)

Ivar would be shocked.

First of all, he would question if the child is truly his, as it seemed impossible before. He wouldn’t have thought that he would ever get the chance to have an heir. So, once you’ve settled his doubts, he would be the proudest father-to-be in all of Kattegat.

But also the most anxious.

He heavily questions his ability to raise a child. Even he knows his father was not a really good example to look up to when it comes to raising children, or to being a husband.

So he seeks the not really helpful advice of his brothers, who all seem to go in completely different directions when it comes to kids. Hvitserk is clearly letting his nephews and nieces walk all over him, while Ubbe is acting like an overprotective hen. Bjorn seems deadset on training them and sending them out in the wild. And Sigurd? Ivar is not quite sure the man is a grown-up himself.

In conclusion: they all started fighting amost themselves while Ivar watched the mess unfold.

Clearly, his mother Aslaug would have been a much better option.

But if she is no longer around, Ivar will instead turn to Floki and Helga where he finally finds some words of wisdom and support.

Without a doubt the woman carrying his child will be protected at all times. This is a literal miracle to him and he would be devastated if anything went wrong with the mother, or the child.

Other than that Ivar finds great joy in the pregnancy. He loves seeing the mother grow with his child and he would be truly proud of his child for carrying on his legacy. Ivar’s love grows during this incredible months, even during all the moods and cravings.

Both, the mother and the baby will be incredibly spoiled.

O - oasis (what’s their favorite place to spent time?)

The pier.

He enjoys the location, especially on warm summer days.

He has many memories stored in his mind, of sitting out on the docks. It’s a place where he can clear his head and it also gives him an overview of everything that is happening around him.

Ivar also likes the calm view of the ocean, even though he’s terrified of the sea. He likes to imagine all the lands that await him on the next raid. The atmosphere helps him to resume his strategies and to gather his thoughts.

It helps him to visualize the terrain the next war will be fought on and the techniques his enemies might use.

You will find him there often, sitting and staring out to the sea until the sun fades away.

P - petnames (what petname would they give their partner?)

“My love.”

The words tasted absolutely ridiculous on his tongue, when he first said them. Almost pathetic. That is also what he threw at your head, when you first said it, but not in anger. It was... something else. Some thing you had to figure out first.

The way he put you off was so reluctant, that it didn’t fit. He liked it. You knew he did. And he knew you knew he did. And he hated it.

This, in turn, made you use the petname whenever you could, with a smirk on your face. Eventually he not only gave in, but started using it himself.

The first time he did you probably spit out your drink in shock tbh.

He’d grumble out of embarassement, until you’d reassure him. When he knows for sure that you actually love it, it’s settled.

It would become a habit.

Q - quiet (what do undisturbed moments look like?)

Peaceful.

In quiet moments Ivar can take a breath and let go of all that troubles him.

He likes taking you down to the beach on those rare days, lying next to you in the sand and relaxing for hours. In those moments all the fights, the wars and the arguments truly fade away. Sometimes they might creep into his mind, which you scold him for when he shares those thoughs absent-mindedly.

Apart from that, it is in those quiet times that you can truly find joy in the company of each other. There don’t need to be many words or actions to keep you happy, just the two of you alone will do.

R - rivals (how do they handle jealousy?)

Not too well.

If there is anyone making advances towards you, Ivar will be the first one to notice. Probably even before you.

He knows very well that you would not appreciate a bloodbath. And further than that, there are political figures that are better kept alive during those stressful times of war. So, no matter how much it bugs him, he would keep still for the time being, trusting you to tell them off (but you may notice the tick of his jaw, or the whitened knuckles when his fingers clench around the armrests of his chair).

If you don’t notice, Ivar will be sure to inform you and ask you to do something about it. He doesn’t voice his concerns about it very clearly, but he is afraid of you leaving him for another.

Though, should a situation get critical, even after you have made clear that Ivar is the one for you, you can be sure that Ivar wont let it slide.

Even if he has to make it look like an accident.

S - song (what song is a reminder of them?)

OCEAN EYES - BILLIE EILISH

I've been watchin' you for some time

Can't stop starin' at those ocean eyes

Burning cities and napalm skies

Fifteen flares inside those ocean eyes

Your ocean eyes

No fair

You really know how to make me cry

When you gimme those ocean eyes

I'm scared

I've never fallen from quite this high

Fallin' into your ocean eyes

Those ocean eyes

I've been walkin' through a world gone blind

Can't stop thinkin' of your diamond mind

Careful creature made friends with time

He left her lonely with a diamond mind

And those ocean eyes

No fair

You really know how to make me cry

When you gimme those ocean eyes

I'm scared

I've never fallen from quite this high

Fallin' into your ocean eyes

Those ocean eyes

Da, da-da, da-da

Da-da-da, da, da

Da, da, da, da, da-da-da-da

Mm

Mm

Mm

No fair

You really know how to make me cry

When you gimme those ocean eyes

I'm scared

I've never fallen from quite this high

Fallin' into your ocean eyes

Those ocean eyes

T - token (what kind of object would be the proof of their love? a ring? a necklace? something completely different?)

Ivar can, as a prince and as a king, buy you anything you want.

So he goes a completely different way.

He would try and make you something himself. Something that wouldn’t bother you during the day while tending to your tasks, but also something that would show everyone around you that you are taken.

And something that would remind you of him.

Ivar has noticed you fiddle with the pendant of his necklace often enough.

The viking takes is upon himself to make a twin to the mjolnir hanging from his throat. He would spend ages drawing out the form and details of the hammer, making sure everything looks perfect. He would also use much more expensive material than his own was made of and would insert fitting gemstones if possible.

Ivar works through days and nights to complete his work and smiles like a child when he can finally hand it to you.

It would turn out so beautiful that you would never want to take it off.

U - unique (why did they choose their partner? what first attracted them?)

The thing that first drew him to you was your personality.

Ivar likes looking at pretty features and bodies, yes. But in a way, doesn’t everyone?

Physical attributes don’t mean that much to him. That he may find a body pleasing to look at has nothing to do with feelings. It is more about an aesthitic. About a facade.

What really interests him is your behavior and your mannerisms. How you talk and behave when nobody sees you and how you move when the great hall is filled with people.

Ivar is first attracted to you because of your habits and your character. The unique tells when he catches you lying, or the characteristic twitch of your mouth, when Bjorn shares a story around the dinner table.

V - vulnerable (how vulnerable do they allow themselves to get?)

He is a tough nut to crack.

Ivar is not the type to be vulnerable around others.

He is not always proud of it when he loses his temper, but he absolutely hates it when he has to cry. Not particularily because he sees it as a weakness, but because he despises the whole feeling of it. He hates the helplessness that settles in and the pityful looks everyone carries on their faces when tears are shed.

He does not like to cry in front of you, even when you are close. You will often have to force him to lean on you and let you comfort him. At the beginning he dislikes doing so, but quickly notices that it helps.

He starts to appreciate your help and your knowledge when you assist him to get his mind back on track and give him a perspective he might not have thought of (though there is rarely a way he does not come up with).

X - xfactor (what’s one of their special talents they try to impress with?)

His mind.

While his brothers might be honest in saying that they consider him their equal despite his disability (which he is already sceptical of), Ivar is very aware that that does not count for everyone else around him.

Not even for you.

So he tries to impress you with what he does best. Ivar is intelligent and an incredible strategist on all fields. He will use his smarts and his witt to catch you attention (and maybe even aks you for advice, even though he already has the perfect solution).

Y - yin & yang (how does having their partner around change their behavior?)

It changes quite a bit.

Ivar becomes calmer when you’re around. More patient and less heated. Apart from that he puts great value on your opinions, even of you are not familiar with all of his strategies.

The times of war are stressful even on a bright mind such as his. It makes him agitated when you’re parted and he trends to get nervous when he can’t keep an eye on you.

Since what happened to his mother while he was not around, he fears that the same fate might come for you if he is not on guard at all times. That, in turn gets him easily frustrated when you can’t join him where he is going.

Needless to say, his men are glad when you are present.

Ivar becomes more relaxed, witty and even pleasant at times as soon as you are near.

Z- zen (how calm are they during arguments?)

Not very calm, even though he tries to keep his cool.

He tends to let his frustrations out, wether that be through screaming or trashing something.

This viking does not hold back.

And we all know Ivar is already intimidating enough when he is not in a bad mood.

But usually, all of that doesn’t happen around you. Between the both of you arguments rarely arise. You are pretty much on the same page and definetely act as a team.

Though, of course, it can’t be that easy all the time. When an argument between the two of you arises Ivat tries to reason with you. The man is used to things going his way, so it might be quite a struggle to go against him at first. He tends to get louder, as a way to emphasize his reasoning, but will quickly try to shut it down if you tell him that it upsets you.

He’ll try to explain his situation and get a grip on your view at the same time, until you reach an agreement both of you are happy with, which he does not do with anyone but you.

[juusworld5728]

Lets talk about Azriel’s shadows...

I think that a lot of people seem to forget what Azriel’s shadows actually represent and what different reaction from them actually mean.

Lets start at the very beginning to his childhood... For the first 11 years of his life, Azriel lived in a cell with no windows or light. He was allowed to come out only for an hour a day, and to see his mother for one hour every week. There are many different ways that one can argue how Azriel came to acquire his shadowsinging abilities or whether it was something genetic (either way, its very rare). Rhysand did mention that he might’ve learned to speak to his shadows in the cell that he was kept in. Either way, his shadows are not something of his past that he necessarily wants to remember. Whether he’s appreciative of those shadows now does not reflect the fact that they were born out of fear and loneliness.

In terms of personality, it’s very important to note how he reacts to things and different people. The way that I see it, he uses his shadows as a defense mechanism. Whenever he’s in an uncomfortable situation, he tends to hide in a corner and his shadows surround him to block from sight. However, when he’s in a good situation or surrounded by certain people, they seem to go away. A lot of people see that as a bad thing, but his shadows are not only supposed to represent his powers, but also his very traumatic past. Soooo you might ask, what exactly do the shadowsinger’s shadows represent?

Well, here is my take. Those shadows in terms that are not power-based, represent that very same cell that he was locked in for the first 11 years of his life. I’m not talking about Nuala and Cerridwen here. I’m talking about his defense mechanism shadows. This wonderful male was trapped without social contact, friends, or anyone to rely on. So yeah, he will be introvert. He has a family, but that doesn't stop him from the fact that his social skills will not be the best in comparison. His shadows represent his loneliness that he feels he deserves and craves when he feels cornered. For the first 11 years of his life, that was ALL HE KNEW. When his shadows “brighten” or are nowhere to be seen, I can imagine that as being the hour he had out of his cell every day. That feeling of relief and freedom. Yes, he needs to learn to accept himself more and who he has become. However, that can be done in the sense that his shadows do not have to be around him ALL THE TIME.

Now, in terms of relationships: 

Mor: His first love. At the young age of around 19. Only 8 years after he’s been let out into society and learned his way through. Does he even know how to handle love?? Probably not. He was born a bastard and probably saw his mother being treated like shit by his father and stepmother. So I doubt love is something he believes in at this point. However, he does fall in love with her. His reaction to that? What he knows best. Avoidance. That dark cell still very present in his mind. That feeling of being very aware of how broken you are but don’t know how to fix it. He does not want to put that burden on Mor. Everything that happens between Cassian and Mor probably makes him feel even worse. Throughout the years though, he can’t help but feel happy just to be around her and in her presence (hence why his shadows disappear). It can be argued that he's known that she hasn't been interested for a while. Maybe what he truly craved wasn't the actual love that he wanted from Mor, but the feeling of love that came from her that made his shadows go away. He craved it and wanted to be around her for that feeling.

Elain: The first time that Azriel meets Elain is in the human lands. She asks him if he can truly fly. He blushes and gets flustered, and why? Do you think that maybe a lot of people haven't bothered to see him in a certain light to ask those type of questions? I mean sure he has his family, but this human girl that is supposedly terrified of him because he’s fae, asks him such a simple and light-hearted question... Slowly but surely, in ACOWAR he beings to get more comfortable with her. She’s broken but at the same time, holding on. He takes notice of a certain light that she radiates as well as her seer powers a little bit later. The first time they’re brought over to the House of Wind, she calls his scars beautiful. The importance of this scene is very overlooked. She called the thing that makes him the most insecure, induces the most amount of fear, and creates his hatred... beautiful. This woman that barely knows him has already accepted every part of him. He further loves to glance out at the garden (a place of happiness that reminds him of Elain) and loves to look at that hidden light in her eyes that makes his shadows either brighten or disappear. It’s very similar to the feeling with Morrigan, but more direct and has incentive. Now, lets talk about truth-teller (the knife that always strikes true). That is one part of himself that he has never shared with ANYONE. Why did he give her truth-teller? Because Elain has already accepted every part of him. Truth-teller is an extension to himself in a sense. Something that belongs wholly to him and makes him feel safe. He trusts Elain enough to give her a part of himself. A very vulnerable moment never seen before by Azriel. In ACOFAS, When Azriel asks about Lucien, he truly does not want to spy on him. It could be for privacy reasons because of Elain but also because he’s afraid of what he’ll see from him in terms of Elain. His siphons gutter and he stutters over his words. Now, winter solstice was a very light-hearted moment but very important as well. As we can tell, Elain is the perfect gift-giver. She gives Azriel a potion for his headaches which is perfect and very hilarious since he laughs (he’s never laughed before in Feyre’s presence). It’s very telling to Elain’s personality as being a very attentive person which amounts to her really caring about Azriel and what’s going on with him. He tends to be pretty hidden and keeps a poker face most of the time, so for her to notice the little things like that is very important. I rest my case..... for now.

Gwyn: I honestly cannot say much about this ship. What I can say are from pages I have been sent and trends I have been seeing through Azriel’s personality. It seems to me like Azriel is the least tense around people he considers his friends and brothers. Even though he's usually pretty serious anyways, the bat boys seem really comfortable with each other. When Mor was around (especially in ACOMAF), he would get worried. However, when she wasn't paying to him, his shadows would disappear (similar things happened with Elain). It seems to me like Gwyn has an outwardly fun personality and Azriel has no problem with that because he is not worried about anything happening. The most I’ve seen from the books between them is simple banter that included the rest of the friend group. When either of them talk, what I’ve seen from Azriel is amusement. That amusement results in Azriel’s shadows dancing around HIMSELF. Not anyone else. No, the shadows did not dance around Gwyn or any other person. I currently see this as a friendship and would need more build-up for me to even ship it. It seems like Azriel seems fine acting like this with people he is not worried about catching feelings with.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[helion-ism]

let’s talk about elucien

there are so many reasons why I love elain x lucien and why I think these two would not only be amazing together, but also why they belong together. one of those reasons is lucien’s sassy personality, which we already got a glimpse of in acotar (and that I miss terribly btw), and which is, in my opinion, exactly what elain needs in her life. we’re talking about lucien “your eyes are like stars, and your hair like burnished gold” vanserra. we know he’s got quite a big mouth, that’s how we got to know him, but we also know that mouth is exactly what’s gotten him into trouble before. case in point: the eye incident. lucien doesn’t mince his words and yes, that is one of the reasons why elain really needs to spend some more time with him. 

she has been coddled by not only her father, nesta, feyre, but also the entire inner circle, which has allowed her to live her life passively. yes, she killed the king of hybern, and good for her, but she did it because nobody else could have done it at that point in time. ever since the war ended, elain has not actively contributed to any plot matters, whether by choice or because someone else took the choice from her. azriel said in acosf, “there is an innate darkness to the dread trove that elain should not be exposed to.” even amren pointed out that elain is capable of defending herself, but for some reason, nobody let her even though elain said she would try to find it: “then I will find it. I might require some time to … reacquaint myself with my powers, but I could start today.” and yet,  by the end of the book, elain’s been barely in it and has not contributed at all. (I know some people claim there’s certain things already happening in the background, but honestly, I’m not satisfied with that development happening off page, so I can’t wait to finally go on her journey and actually see her do stuff)

this moment is crucial:

does it look like she is happy with the way the others treat her? not really. when nesta snapped at her, elain started laughing. that signals relief to me because nesta, the one who has always tried to protect elain the most (nesta baby Ilysm), is the one who suddenly lost her patience. elain needs somebody like lucien, somebody with a big mouth and sassy attitude, who can coax her out of that paralysis she’s been stuck in, a bit like nesta in this scene. additionally, the banter would be top tier. I want another “if I offer you the moon on a string, will you give me a kiss, too?” moment, please. god please. (elain blinks. “and where would you like that kiss?” — and lucien just loses his mind.)

another thing that lives in my head rent free is the fact that lucien has travelled almost everywhere and could introduce elain, who wishes to see more of the world (see: “elain had always wanted to visit the continent to study the tulips and other famed flowers”), to the different courts and the continent. I refuse to accept that we will not get to learn more about the other courts, for my sake, but also for elain’s sake. I want her to see the spring court at least once. I want her to go and see those tulips she’s dreamt of. I want her and lucien to discover the day court as a new home, which brings me to the next point. 

elain has been craving sunshine for some time now. there’s several quotes that emphasise her connection to sunshine/light, here are a few of my favourites: 

I marveled at it, actually — that those years of poverty hadn‘t stripped away that light from elain.

the suite was filled with sunlight. every curtain shoved back as far as it could go, to let in as much sun as possible. as if any bit of darkness was abhorrent.

she had been always so full of light. perhaps that was why she now kept all the curtains open. to fill the void that existed where all of that light had once been. and now nothing remained.

what can I get you, elain? — sunshine.

elain doesn’t belong into the night court. feyre has found her family there, with rhys and the inner circle. nesta has found (or should I say accepted) cassian and found gwyn and emerie, her chosen sisters. but elain?

elain is somewhere in the background hiding with the twins and tending to gardens of the citizens of velaris. you can’t tell me that is satisfactory to you. she is currently ignoring her seer abilities, and the members of the inner circle are basically encouraging her to do so. the only time she’s been confronted lately was during that conversation with nesta and her reaction was not exactly what any of us readers would have expected, was it? that tells me there’s much more about her we don’t know yet, and I’m convinced we won’t know until she finally leaves and finds her own people, finds herself again and start dealing with everything that happened to her. elain must leave the night court, i.e. the darkness, behind in order to grow.

the same goes to lucien: he’s not at a place where he can just jump into a relationship or mating bond. he’s got so much stuff going on. lucien was forced to abandon his home and his abusive family, his “father” killed the fae he loved in front of his eyes, his best friend is an abusive pos who never appreciated him anyway, and neither has anyone in the night court. lucien is used because of his connections and because of the mating bond that ties him to elain, whether he wanted it or not. feyre knows he would never turn away from elain unless she explicitly wishes him to, and so she and rhys and the others use that to their advantage. it is smart, of course, but at the same time, they also keep important information about his own life from him that could change many, many things. so he’s spending his time with mortals in the human lands — a place where he as a fae really does not belong. 

lucien being the heir to the day court, well, to me, it feels like sjm is practically screaming it into our face: how could he find a home in the night court, the literal opposite to the day? darkness vs. light. and what about elain “he’d never once in the two years he’d known her found elain to be plain, but wearing black, no matter how much she claimed to be part of this court … it sucked the life from her” archeron? just looking at the symbolism, not only do the quotes from above indicate that the night court cannot possibly be her home, but also very recent quotes from the latest book. elain is a side character in the night court. and so is lucien. they both need to leave in order to become main characters — and it doesn’t even matter that both are already crucial to the further plot of the series because how can they possibly contribute to it in a place where they are both kept down? 

mor said in acofas: “stay out of it. she’s not ready, and neither is he, no matter how many presents he brings.” and “let him figure out where he wants to be. who he wants to be. the same goes with her.” mor’s power is “truth”, whatever that means. but there you have it. they’re not ready to be with each other yet, and that’s okay. 

[elain and lucien are also connected not only because of the mating bond, but also because of the plot. lucien must know quite a lot about her and her sisters simply because of all the time he spent with their father. the father who made a bargain with koschei. koschei who put a spell on vassa. lucien is therefore tied to both papa archeron as well as koschei and vassa. elain, we know, is a seer, despite her not using her abilities (or is she, and we simply don’t know?). elain is (obviously) connected to her father, but also to koschei and vassa (remember those visions she had).]

now let’s get to the mating bond stuff, and I need to say this loud and clear: elain has always had and will always have one (1) true mate. there’s no such thing as “false mate” or even multiple mates. there has been no indication whatsoever. lucien is the mate the cauldron had given her when she was born. and elain is the mate the cauldron had given him when he was born. even when she was still human, they already belonged together — tied together by strings of fate. absolutely nothing will change this fact. should elain reject the bond, lucien will remain a part of her life/her soul forever. should lucien reject the bond, elain will remain a part of his life/his soul forever.

when she was still human, lucien had already felt a pull between them and tried to save and protect her from hybern. when elain was already fae, when it came to protecting her, azriel clapped cassian’s shoulder and left (is this the true mate they’re all talking about?). it’s unfair to lucien, elain, AND azriel and this comparison alone is enough to disprove this theory.

the thing is, lucien has been nothing but respectful, kind and caring towards elain. when he arrived in velaris in acowar, he could immediately sense what she needed and said, “she needs fresh air” (vs. the response “we’ll judge what she needs”) and “take her to the sea. take her to some garden. but get her out of this house for an hour or two.” (I’m gonna make another post about this because I have a few thoughts on this)

of course, she doesn’t owe him anything, but elain herself doesn’t wish to be treated like a child, she maybe she should start acting like an adult because although she doesn’t owe lucien an apology or explanation, she has to have a conversation with him, like two responsible adults. there is no way feyre or anyone in the inner circle hasn’t told her that she can reject the bond and move on with her life. but just like her powers, this is another thing she chooses to ignore. I’m not blaming her because I know she has to work through her trauma first and heal, but by the end of the series, she has to acknowledge that at least.

in acosf, elain says “I am not a child to be fought over” when they discuss the dread trove. I wonder what she would say about the fact azriel threatens to challenge lucien to the blood duel because of her? based on literally everything we know about lucien, I can say with certainty that he would not physically fight over elain. if she only had a conversation with him and told him to move on and leave her alone, lucien would do just that. he would leave her alone and try to move on as best as he could (which we know is difficult for males). but he would never act as entitled to her as to demand a blood duel and fight to death. it goes against his principles. 

to finish this off, sjm summing up everything I just said:

[imaginejamesandsirius]

Can u do a fic where like James is currently dating lily and then Sirius starts dating some random guy from whatever house and James gets like super jealous and possessive trying to keep Sirius to himself (I’d write it myself but I can’t write for shit lol)

((A/N: In keeping with the prompt, there is brief James/Lily in the beginning))

James frowned. "Who's Sirius with?"

"Hm?" Lily looked up, then followed James's stare over to where his best mate was. "That's Fabian, you know that. You're on the Quidditch team together, for Merlin's sake. What's up with you?"

James opened his mouth to say that nothing was wrong with him and bugger you, Lily, for even suggesting it, then he paused. He was bothered by this. There was no reason to be bothered by this. Sirius and Fabian weren't mates, so James hadn't seen them chatting before. Gideon and Fabian were the year above them, and they were busy with Quidditch and all their NEWT classes. Neither of them exactly had time to socialize with random-arse people in the year below them. James's frown deepened. Sirius wasn't a random person, and he was perfectly capable of talking to anyone in Hogwarts, especially someone as cool as Fabian. So why was he upset? "I dunno," he said to Lily, but his mind was reeling, trying to figure it out.

Normally, James was only bothered by people talking to his friends if they were dangerous. All the Slytherins in their year had plenty of reason to hold a grudge, so that would've made sense. But Fabian was a Gryffindor, and perfectly trustworthy besides, so it couldn't be that.

"Look," Lily said with a small smile, "I get that you're used to Sirius always being around, but you wanted to spend time just the two of us, so he has time to branch out."

"He is not replacing me," James said indignantly. He was Sirius's best friend and he always would be. Getting a girlfriend hardly changed that.

"I wasn't saying that. But be realistic, for a second. He wants to spend his time with you, but you're busy. Remus and Peter took all the time you spent off doing your own thing to study, so he can't hang out with them. He had to find someone else."

"Fabian's not drowning in spare time."

"Maybe they have free time at the same time," Lily said with a shrug. "I dunno, do I look like a seer to you? C'mon, stop worrying about what Sirius is up to and let's enjoy our time alone for the next hour, yeah?"

James dredged up a smile for her because he was happy that they had some time alone in Hogsmeade before they met back up with their friends. He should enjoy this. Besides, he'd see Sirius then, and he'd be able to ask him about what was going on between him and Fabian. Because that glimpse that he'd gotten hadn't been two friends talking; it had been more than that.

He might be reading too much into it, but there had been something in the way that Sirius was standing-- or maybe it had been in his smile?-- that made James think they were flirting. If they had been flirting, James would have to caution Sirius to knock it off before he got hurt. Fabian was a good guy, yeah, but getting involved with somebody a year above them was asking for trouble. Everyone knew that they were supposed to date within their year. Less heartache that way, and Sirius was rather sensitive, even if he liked to pretend that he wasn't.

*

"Hey," James said, pulling Sirius off to the side. He waited until the rest of the group was too far away to hear them before continuing, "I saw you with Fabian earlier. What's going on with that?"

"Oh," Sirius said. He sounded a little surprised but not horribly shocked at being seen. He seemed pleased, judging by the small smile that spread across his face. "We were, er- on a date. He asked when he saw that I was alone, and I figured why not?"

"Why would you go on a date with him?" James asked, sounding ridiculously rude.

Sirius blinked, smile giving way to confusion. "Because he's nice to me? And funny?"

"No, I mean why would you date him?"

"The same reasons I just said, tosser. What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong with me," James said defensively.

"Then stop acting like there is," Sirius replied, brushing past him. They were both heading to Gryffindor Tower though, so James fell into step next to him like he always did. "I had a nice day before you got your wand in a knot. The first nice day I've had since you decided to abandon me for Lily, I might add."

"I did not abandon you for Lily."

Sirius snorted, clearly not believing him.

"We still see each other all the time!" James insisted.

"Yeah, because we take all the same classes and sleep in the same dormitory, not because you make time for me anymore."

"I never had to make time for you because you never had anything else to do; that's different," James said, and then immediately regretted it. "I didn't mean that how it sounded. I just mean that there was never someone I wanted to see other than you! Wormtail and Moony always crop up when they wanted to see us, so I didn't have to make time to see them. Lily's different."

"Tell your bloody girlfriend that she can see you when we're hanging out then."

"She already does. Or have you somehow missed her and Marlene sitting next to us in the Great Hall and in the common room? I know, of course, that you haven't. You just ignore them."

"I always ignore Marlene," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "If I look at her, she thinks it means I'm interested. Look, I don't know what's crawled up your arse today, but I'm allowed to date someone. You made time for Lily by spending less time with me. I am now spending that free time by hanging out with Fabian."

James grit his teeth together. What Sirius said made sense, but something about it was bugging him. He couldn't put his finger on what it was, but it didn't feel right. Something was wrong with the situation. He knew that he couldn't say anything to Sirius about it right now; he'd only get more upset with James. "Fine," he gritted out.

Sirius narrowed his eyes, daring him to object again, but James stayed stubbornly silent.

*

Sirius's relationship with Fabian was short-lived; he said that while Fabian was a good bloke and all, it didn't really feel like they were dating when they spent time together. James was unreasonably happy about that, and things went back to normal for them. He didn't realise that he'd been ignoring everything else in his life to spend more time with Sirius though, not until Lily confronted him.

"You're spending more time stalking your best mate than you do sat in class, James," she said, arms crossed over her chest. "Look, I knew going into this that you and Sirius were close, but this is obsessive."

He blinked, doing a quick run-through of the last week. He had spent a good portion of his time hanging onto Sirius-- literally, since he hadn't wanted for him to wander off if he looked the other direction-- but he wouldn't call it obsessive. "We're mates," he defended. "Of course we spend time together."

"Yeah, you're mates, but I didn't say yes to a date just to fight for your time. You used to know that you couldn't spend your every waking moment with him, and now you're regressing."

"I'm not regressing," James said. The idea was insulting, and he kind of couldn't believe she said it. He needed to make things clear to her, and there was no time like the present. "Sirius is the most important person in my life, and if you can't handle that, maybe we shouldn't be dating."

"You're a tosser," Lily said, expression stony. "But you're right. We shouldn't be dating." With that, she turned on her heel, hair tossed over her shoulder, and stalked away.

James was pretty sure he should feel something other than annoyed that she'd dragged him away from Sirius just so she could get jealous. He made his way back to their table and sat down without saying a word.

"Hey," Sirius said, scooting over to make room for him.

James had the urge to wrap an arm around Sirius's shoulders and pull him back to where he'd been before.

"What did Lily want to talk about?"

"Nothing," James grumbled, and it was obvious that he was lying, so he didn't feel bad about it.

Sirius frowned. "You alright?"

Sensing that Sirius wasn't about to drop it, he sighed. "We broke up. She said I was spending too much time with you, and I told her to get over it." He shrugged. "It's a good thing I'm not a prefect, or meetings would be awkward as hell."

"You broke up with Lily?"

James nodded.

"Over me?"

"Pretty sure Lily has a problem with me, not you, if it helps."

"You've been talking my ear off over her for three years, and then you break up after a few months?" Sirius asked incredulously. "Over me?"

"Are you going somewhere with this?"

Sirius continued to stare at him like he didn't have a clue what was going on, then shook his head. "Guess not."

*

As much as James wanted to forget what Lily had said, he couldn't. It kept repeating through his head as he laid down to sleep and ignoring it didn't do him any good.

He had been spending a lot of time with Sirius lately. They normally only did this over the summer, when there was nobody else around that they could hang out with. James would be less inclined to do it if he ever got annoyed with Sirius, but that didn't happen. No matter how much time he spent with Sirius, he was always willing to see him more. He never wanted a break. He'd liked Lily, but he hadn't wanted to spend half that much time with her. More than two dates a week and he started to get annoyed. Not with her, necessarily, but with the fact that he couldn't relax. He was always relaxed around Sirius.

When he'd imagined falling in love, he hadn't thought that he'd want to spend more time with his friends than his girlfriend; he'd imagined it at about fifty-fifty. It was probably what Lily had been thinking would happen too, and she'd been good with that. She hadn't been okay with the split being ninetyeight-two though, which was fair. If Lily had been the one ignoring him, he would've been a lot more pissed off than she'd been. Although, now that he thought about it, she'd been plenty angry when she first asked him to talk, and he'd tried to brush her off. He definitely owed her an apology for that.

With a sigh, he rolled onto his other side. He was hoping that he'd be able to get to sleep now, but instead of thinking about Lily, he was thinking about Sirius.

He'd been really upset when Sirius started dating Fabian. It didn't make any sense. Like Sirius had said, he was mostly spending time with him whenever James was with Lily, so it wasn't cutting into what little time they had, or summat. And on the flip side, he'd been really happy when Sirius and Fabian split. He hadn't had a reaction that extreme to his own breakup-- even though the emotion he should've felt was sadness, but his point still stood. He should've been upset about him and Lily breaking up, but he kind of... hadn't cared. He was more upset about the fact that he didn't care than that they'd broken up.

Or maybe, he thought as he rolled onto his back restlessly, he'd gotten upset with Lily for suggesting that he spend slightly less time with Sirius. Because she'd wanted her boyfriend to spend time with her, and he'd said no. If nothing else, it showed that he wasn't ready to date someone, because he didn't think his response wouldn't have been different if he'd been dating anyone else. Well, except for Sirius, because then there wouldn't be an issue. Hanging out with Sirius would be the same as hanging out with his boyfriend.

Whatever, he'd apologise to Lily tomorrow, and hopefully she wouldn't be too pissed at him. He'd be honest, and that would probably be enough.

*

"Lily, can I talk to you for a second?" he asked, going up to her in the common room as she was working on an essay-- History of Magic, by the look of it.

It was obvious that she was still mad at him by the way the corners of her mouth tightened, but she still nodded and set down her quill to follow him outside the portrait hole so they had a bit of privacy.

"I wanted to apologise for yesterday. I acted like a berk, and you didn't deserve that. You were right; I shouldn't date someone unless I'm actually going to make time for them, and I should've realised that before I ever tried to ask you out. I'm sorry."

"...Thank you," Lily said, scuffing her shoe against the floor. "Since we're not getting back together, can I say something?"

"Sure."

"You might want to warn the next person you date that you and Sirius aren't just close; you're a package deal."

James frowned at her. Not because he was angry, thank Merlin, but because he didn't understand what she meant. Weren't all friends like that?

"Like, you don't care for Marlene, and that's fine because we could still spend time together without it getting in the way. But if I didn't like Sirius? Forget about it. We wouldn't have made it a week. I doubt that's going to change, so a little warning might be good for you."

James blinked. "Right. Erm, thanks."

Lily rolled her eyes, sensing his insincerity. Which, in his defense, he hadn't meant to be insincere, but he didn't exactly understand what she meant by that. He'd heard every word, but it still wasn't any different than what he'd been thinking before-- Lily and Marlene were friends, yes, but no one described them as being close, certainly not the way that Sirius and James were described as close. "Whatever, mate, it's your life." With that, she walked past him and back into the common room.

*

James was beginning to hate these late night revelations he was having. Last night had been that he wasn't ready for a girlfriend when he spent so much time with Sirius, and tonight was- well, that maybe he wanted to date Sirius instead of some bird. He'd been horribly jealous when Sirius started spending time with Fabian-- and yes, he realised the irony of having accused Lily of getting jealous of him and Sirius when he was the one who was guilty.

Oh, who was he kidding? He wanted to date Sirius. There was no 'maybe' about it. He'd only had his realisation ten minutes ago, but he didn't know how he was going to see him tomorrow morning without throwing himself at him. Face first. He wanted to kiss Sirius. He wanted to snog his face off.

In his defense, he'd always known that Sirius was fit as hell, but he hadn't known that his appreciation of his best mate's looks was crossing a line from platonic to romantic. He wasn't sure, for a moment, if romantic inclinations were exactly what he was feeling, but when he compared it to how he felt about his other mates, it solidified his suspicions: he fancied Sirius.

And he had no idea what to do about it. He had a feeling that grabbing and kissing him the next time he saw him wouldn't go over too well.

*

Naturally, James dealt with the situation by kissing Sirius the first time he saw him that morning. It wasn't exactly pleasant, because Sirius had been brushing his teeth, but he didn't immediately shove James away so he was going to count it as a success.

Sirius blinked at him. He held up a finger, spit in the sink, then said, "What the hell is going on with you?" He didn't sound upset, which was another point to this being a success for James.

That being said, James really should've waited until he was more awake. He didn't have his glasses on, so everything was blurry. Except for Sirius when he had kissed him because he'd been right in front of James's face. Also it was harder to form a coherent sentence before he'd been awake for an hour. "You know Fabian?"

"I'm familiar with him, yes," Sirius said dryly. He reached for a cup and rinsed out his mouth, then wiped so it got rid of the little white specks dotting his lips.

Absently, James rubbed at his own mouth and was unsurprised that a bit of toothpaste came off. "I was erm, really jealous when you were seeing him."

"I know."

"If you know, then why are you confused?"

"You're weirdly possessive of me. I know that. Kissing me is a bit much, even for you."

James rolled his eyes. "Turns out that the weird possessive rubbish is me wanting to date you."

"What do you mean it 'turns out'?" he asked. At least he wasn't grossed out or summat.

"Well I was thinking last night, and I realised-"

"Last night? You figured out that you fancied me last night?"

"Erm," James said, very eloquently. "Yes. Is that a problem?"

Sirius snorted. "You don't waste any time."

"Well I realised it last night, but it's not like I started to fancy you last night. I think it's been going on for a while."

"You're-" Sirius started to say, then he pressed his lips together, trying not to laugh.

"What?"

"You are easily the most ridiculous person I know."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"It's you; of course it's a good thing," Sirius said, leaning against the counter. Thoughtfully, he folded his arms over his chest. "So we're dating now?"

"You never said yes, or how you felt, or anything," James pointed out.

"The answer was obviously yes."

"Was it obvious?"

"Was it not?" Sirius asked, brow furrowing.

James shook his head.

"Oh. Well, when Fabian asked me out, I figured that I couldn't feel worse about seeing you with Lily if I was also dating someone. And I've been pining after since like, third year, so it's probably a good thing that you didn't notice. It would've been really awkward. You're a bit of a dumbarse, but it always works out in my favour," Sirius said with a grin.

"Rude," James said idly. "Be nice to your boyfriend. I'm sensitive."

"Sure you are, mate. Sure you are."

[12tardis]

Empire Line (Part 2/3) Newt Scamander x Reader

Warnings: angst. Yeah loooooook I’m sorry…it’s been a rough year

Summary: Newt has been in love with you since your second year at Hogwarts. You have been in love with Newt for nearly as long. You’re both ridiculously oblivious and you think he has feelings for Tina. Will Newt set the record straight before he loses you for good? (Newt for present day Newt and other Newt in italics for future Newt)

Pairings: Newt Scamander x Reader, Reader x OC (super brief) A/N: This is part 2- and actually the first part I ever wrote of this story when I was feeling particularly angsty. Sorry Newt ☹

Title: Empire Line by The National – this band has saved my life honestly . Love u 5 sad dads

Taglist (I LOVE YALL): @auror-lovie @moonkissk7 @sagittarius-flowerchild @fishdonttouch @cal-ifornication @haileygarciasunshine @cherryobx @swiftspaperings @tillyreads

“Alistair’s moving to South America to research the flora and fauna over there.”

Newt only blinked back at you dumbly, so you spoke up again.

“I said I’d go with him.”

“Newt?” You called his name when he just stood there staring at you wordlessly.

He blinked a few times slowly and his eyes focused back on you, though he was still dazed “sorry what?”

“I said, I’m moving to South America. Alistair asked me to go with him. We leave in a month” You repeated yourself slowly, looking at Newt in concern when he still didn’t respond.

There was a ringing in Newt’s ears as he stood in front of you, gaping at you like a fish out of water. A month. You were leaving in a month.

“Newt,” you reached out towards him and Newt suddenly jumped into action, dodging your touch.

“Oh wow!...that’s great Y/N, I’m really happy for you.” He managed to muster up a fake bright smile and a believable tone despite the way his heart was threatening to shatter in his chest.

You raised your eyebrows in surprise at his enthusiastic response and you couldn’t help but feel a little put out that he was seemingly so excited for you to leave.“Thanks.” You paused “so what did you have to tell me?”

Newt managed to keep the smile plastered onto his face as he looked back at you “oh, just that the baby occamies finally hatched,” he said without missing a beat.

It wasn’t a complete lie because it was true- the occamies had hatched. It just wasn’t what he’d been meaning to tell you, but he knew now he’d lost his chance and he needed to remove himself before he completely crumbled in front of you.

So, he clapped his hands, causing you to startle slightly “right! I should get to bed now. I just wanted to tell you about the occamies. I’ll see you in the morning.” He spoke rapidly, not looking at you once before he was practically sprinting to his room and slamming the door behind him just as the first tear fell from his eyes.

-     -     -     -     -     -      -     -     -     -     -     -    -     -     -     -     -     -

Several weeks had passed now and everything had continued on as usual between you and Newt.

It had been a little tense and awkward the day after you’d broken the news to Newt but when you’d wrapped him up in a tight hug the following night he couldn’t help but melt and realise he didn’t want to spend your last few weeks together moping around and avoiding you.

So he continued on treating you like he usually would, blissfully denying all knowledge of you leaving him at the end of the month.

You were due to leave in exactly one week now and Newt was in the kitchen fixing himself a cup of tea after breakfast. He felt his stomach drop when he noticed the empty spot on the window sill where you usually kept some of your framed photos on display. You had already started packing your possessions away slowly but surely.

He sighed sadly to himself as he stared at the window ledge, looking up when you appeared beside him, grasping his arm.

“Hey, I was thinking we could go for a picnic by the lake today? For old times sake.” You suggested with a soft smile.

Newt turned to face you, shaking his head with an apologetic smile “I’d love to but I’m meeting with the owner of Flourish and Blotts today about stocking my book.”

“Oh! No Newt that’s wonderful!” You gushed, smiling brightly at him and he only felt more miserable realising he only had a week left of seeing that smile.

“Oh, don’t look so down, we can just go tomorrow. Go and sell your book!” You grasped his shoulders, bouncing on your heels excitedly “you can tell me all about it when you get back.”

The pure excitement on your face managed to pull him from his sour mood and he soon found himself smiling back at you. “Okay picnic tomorrow,” he nodded, laying his hands over your arms as you were still gripping his shoulders.

The both of you stood there for a few moments in each other's arms, gazing back at one another. Newt was the first to look away, clearing his throat as he glanced down at his watch “I better go. I’ll be back before dinner.”

-     -     -     -     -     -      -     -     -     -     -     -    -     -     -     -     -     -

Not much later he found himself wandering down Diagon Alley with his case in hand. He’d made good time, so he decided to stop in at some of the other shops in search of a farewell gift for you.

A set of earrings caught his eye and he was busy trying to see the price of them as his case began to rattle in his hand. He looked down just in time to see the unmistakable flurry of dark fur that was his Niffler, bolting across the street.  

“Get back here!” Newt groaned, fixing the loose clasp on his case before he dashed after the creature, wondering what on earth had caught his attention over the jewellery store he’d just left behind.

He groaned again when he saw the Niffler scurrying into what appeared to be a tiny shop selling nothing but mirrors and he quickly followed after the creature.

“Merlin,” Newt breathed out when he was in the shop, feeling disoriented when he was standing in the middle of a room that held what must have been hundreds of mirrors in all different shapes and sizes along the walls.

He saw absolutely no sign of the Niffler, in fact there was absolutely no movement in the shop save for himself and the faint trail of what he assumed was incense swirling above his head.

“Ah you must be the Magizoologist, I‘ve been expecting you. A couple months late but nevertheless, welcome my boy.”

Newt spun around when he heard a rugged voice, tipping his head aside with furrowed brows when he saw a complete stranger standing before him. It was tall and slim elderly man with long, scraggly white hair and disarmingly blue eyes.

“I’m sorry?” Newt frowned as the man walked towards him. “I don’t believe we’ve met…” He trailed off and his eyes widened as the strange man grasped his face in his palms, inspecting him closely.

“...yet you seem to know me…”, Newt squeaked, standing stock still as the man continued to look him over. He knew he probably should have been running from the strange man, or at the very least should have felt some shred of concern or discomfort but the man had a strangely welcoming aura about him.

“Yes. Newton Artemis Fido Scamander!” The man suddenly burst out, causing Newt to flinch slightly “You may call me Janus, if you so wish. I will also respond to Mr.Galloglass, sometimes even Mr.G but let’s not get ahead of ourselves shall we?”, Mr. Galloglass said, patting Newt a few times on the cheek with a wry smile before he finally released him from his hold.

Mr. Galloglass swiftly turned away from Newt, his long tweed coat swishing behind him as he began inspecting a particular row of mirrors “I believe you’ve lost something yes? Your little echidna looking thing. Such cheeky little creatures those ones are. I suppose he’s not the reason you’re late to see me though,” the old man rambled on as he continued to inspect the mirrors.

Newt was still stood frozen on the spot as he stared at the eccentric old man, wondering what on earth he was rambling on about and how he knew who he was. He was about to ask him exactly that when Mr.Galloglass suddenly rushed over to him again.

He yanked Newt’s left hand into his own causing Newt to grunt in surprise. Galloglass lifted it close to his face and began inspecting his palm with wide eyes. “What on ear-“

“Ah! You’re at an Empire Line young man”, he exclaimed, looking up at Newt and then back down at his palm, raising his eyebrows “no correction! You’re on an Empire Line that is juuuuust about to split.”

Newt felt his frustration bubbling to the surface when Mr. Galloglass only made less and less sense but then something behind the man caught his eye. He let out a breath of realisation when he spotted the crystal ball that was sat atop the small table in the adjoining room.

“You’re a seer?” Newt cut in, looking back at the man quizzically.

“Like my father and grandfather before me,” Mr. Galloglass confirmed, thrusting Newt into the adjoining room without any warning until he stood in front of the biggest mirror in the entire shop. It was about a foot taller than Newt and it had a dark ornate frame.

“In you go!”, Mr. Oldridge pushed Newt towards the mirror but Newt resisted, looking back at the man in the murky reflection in utter confusion and mild alarm “what?!”

“You want to know what an Empire Line is and besides, that’s where your Niffler ran off to. You know what they say- there’s no time like the present!”

He cackled at his own joke and pushed Newt forward again with much more force this time and Newt staggered forward, trying to catch himself on the mirror instinctively and yelping when he only fell through the surface.

And as he fell through it the mirror he suddenly recalled the words of his brother.

“...You need to tell her before you have to watch her move on with someone who can never love her like you do...”

Newt gasped when he stumbled to his feet and he was miraculously standing by the doorway inside of a huge cathedral.

The first thing he noticed was the rows and rows of people packed into the stalls, his eyes then taking in the floral arrangements that sat on the end of each row.

It must be a wedding.

It was incredibly loud, he realised because the organ was blaring what must have been the processional. He fidgeted anxiously as he took in his surroundings and he only grew more confused when he spotted a rather grim looking Theseus standing in the front row of stalls by the altar of the church.

His brother's gaze seemed to be transfixed on the front of the church and Newt followed his line of sight, his eyes widening and jaw dropping when he saw HIMSELF standing at the front of the church dressed in a fancy suit.

What on earth was happening?

What did Galloglass mean by an Empire Line?

Was he seeing his future?

His eyes quickly scanned the line of people this other version of himself was standing beside, realising he didn’t recognise a single one of the groomsmen.

There was a complete stranger standing where the Groom would traditionally stand and Newt furrowed his brows. What was he doing at a strangers wedding?...he realised though that he did recognise a fair few of the guests sat on the same side as Theseus.

He spun around when the bridal party began to enter the cathedral and his eyes widened when he caught sight of Tina and Queenie all dressed up and walking gracefully down the carpeted aisle.

“Tina...Queenie!” he waved at the sisters, trying desperately to catch their attention and frowning when they didn’t notice him at all.

He recognised the next woman in the processional as Mona, your childhood friend followed by your sister and Newt began to notice the dread settling in his stomach.

He had a niggling feeling that no one could see or hear him in this strange reality he’d been tossed into and his suspicions were proven correct just a minute later.

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion as the guests all turned to face the entrance of the cathedral in anticipation.  

He turned to face the doorway too, his ears ringing and his heart pounding when he saw you enter the church in a huge white gown. The veil you wore was completely obscuring your face but he knew it was you.

“Y/N”, he called out, reaching for you instinctively and only growing more distressed when his hand passed through your arm. You clearly couldn’t see him. No one could see or hear him and he felt tears well in his eyes as he watched you make your way down the aisle towards the unknown man.

The other Newt had a small smile plastered on his face but it didn’t meet his eyes as he watched you stop in front of the groom, letting the other man take your hands. It was clear to see that he was dying inside.

It was like his own personal hell. Everything was wrong.

Firstly, why were you getting married in a church? You weren’t religious and you’d always told him how you wanted to be married outdoors in a small garden ceremony.

Why were there white roses everywhere? You loved vibrant colours and despised roses.

The floral arrangements weren’t anything like you would usually choose and that dress was nothing like any dress you’d ever worn before.

You looked...out of place and he was certain it wasn’t just because it should have been him stood where the groom was. He had admittedly fantasised about what it might be like to marry you one day and this ceremony was clearly the polar opposite in every single respect.

Nothing made sense. You weren’t visibly brimming with joy like you would normally be when you were excited. Usually your excitement was infectious but here you looked like a robot. Even Tina and Queenie looked concerned standing beside you.

And the groom. Newt swallowed thickly as he took him in properly, his stomach churning at the smarmy and almost smug smile the man wore.

The ceremony carried on for what felt like hours and Newt resigned himself realising there was nothing he could do to stop it. Here he was just a fly on the wall. He had to look away when the groom tipped you back, planting a firm kiss on your lips and clutching you against himself as the guests applauded and the other groomsmen cheered.

The last thing he noticed was the look of utter defeat on the other Newt’s face before his surroundings rapidly changed.

He gasped when the room suddenly morphed around him and he was now standing inside a hospital room, seeing you looking tired and worn out in a hospital bed. You were clutching a tiny baby in your arms with the other Newt by your side, watching you in concern.

He watched as you looked up at the other Newt, taking his hand tiredly “thank you for being here...I don’t think I could have done this on my own”, you murmured. He watched this slightly older version of himself squeeze your hand and bend down to drop a kiss to the top of your head “I will always be here when you need me...but he really should have been here, Y/N.”

“Oh Newt, you know he’s on a business trip. It’s fine.” you said quietly, looking down at the baby in your arms as he watched the other Newt clench his jaw in response. He found himself mirroring the action.

Your husband wasn’t here with you for the birth of your baby?

What kind of man had you gone and married?

You looked so tired and sad and not at all like the Y/N, he knew and loved.

Newt was broken from his musings when a nurse entered the room and he took one last look at the look of sad resignation on your face before the room suddenly shifted around him again.

This time he was thrown into a chair at a large dining table and he blinked a few times, gripping the table to steady himself. Now he was sitting across from you and the other Newt watching as you poured him a cup of tea, a young toddler hugged to your side.

Some time had clearly passed because you were both a little older and he assumed the child in your arms was the same baby from just before. You were still breathtakingly beautiful but now you looked frail, the smile never quite reaching your eyes as you spoke with your friend over tea.

And he could tell from the way the other Newt was staring at you, hanging off your every word that he was still just as in love with you even though you’d married and started a family with someone else.

“Y/N, where is he? From your letters...it sounds like he’s always alway.”

You laughed bitterly and looked away from the other Newt, turning the wedding band on your finger shakily “He’s probably off screwing his assistant.”

Newt felt his blood run cold and he opened his mouth to talk before he realised that you couldn’t see him and the other Newt looked completely affronted as he set his tea cup down with too much force, shattering the saucer on the table.

“He’s cheating on you!?”, he asked, his voice high and strained as he quickly cleared up the mess he’d made, shooing you away when you tried to help. The last thing you needed was to cut your hand open trying to help him.

You watched him fumble around for a few moments before you quickly cast a mending charm on the broken porcelain, sitting back in your chair and shrugging. “Has been for years. Dozens of different women and he thinks I’m too stupid to know. I’ll never be enough for him.” you murmured, blinking back the tears in your eyes as you pressed a kiss to the top of your daughters head.

The other Newt took your hands in his own, looking at you in concern “Y/N you are more than enough. You deserve the world. You deserve someone loyal who will care for you and be there to support you no matter what”, he said passionately, pausing a moment before he murmured.

“Why do you stay with him?”

“Because I want what’s best for her,” you said without hesitation, nodding down at your daughter in your arms as you sniffled slightly “and I’m not getting any younger, Newt. At least he wants me.”

He watched as the other Newt opened his mouth to speak again but you continued talking and what you said next sent both Newt’s into shocked silence.

“You know I was in love with you for the longest time?”, you laughed self deprecatingly as you pulled your hands out of his “I dreamt about being Mrs. Scamander. I always thought you would make the most incredible husband and father.”

“Y/N”, the other Newt breathed, his eyes big and his lips parted but you shook your head before he could say anything more.

“Oh, how things change,” you murmured, wiping your eyes while you held your daughter tight against you in your other arm.

-     -     -     -     -     -      -     -     -     -     -     -    -     -     -     -     -     -

The ringing returned in Newt’s ears as he was abruptly thrust out of the mirror and left sitting on the floor of the shop again. He stared down at his knees in shock as he felt Mr.Galloglass’  hands gripping his shoulders.

“You alright there, son?”, the man asked gruffly as he shook him slightly by the shoulders and Newt jumped to his feet quickly facing the man “I-yes I have to go! I must find the Niffler and leave immediately”, he said, searching around frantically.

He had to go to you.

But Mr. Galloglass grabbed his arm firmly, gesturing back at the mirror that was starting to ripple again “your creature is still in there. I sense the mirror’s not done with you yet my boy.” He murmured, his eyes glazing over with that faraway look again.

“You have more to see before you leave this place.”

The older man pushed Newt firmly towards the mirror again and Newt sucked in a deep breath, closing his eyes tightly as he stepped back through the mirror frame, praying he wasn’t faced with something as horrible again.

-     -     -     -     -     -      -     -     -     -     -     -    -     -     -     -     -     -

This time as he stepped through the frame Tina’s words popped into his mind.

“You should make the most of all the precious time you have together. Our time is never promised.”

The words seemed rather ominous considering what he’d just seen in his previous venture but as his surroundings became clear he felt a false sense of relief just from the familiarity of it.

This time he found himself standing in his flat in London, facing another Newt again who was sitting at the small dining room table, talking with Pickett.

He seemed to be the same age here but the first thing Newt noticed about the apartment was that all of your belongings were gone. Every single one of your plants that were usually adorning every surface of the flat were gone and it made his chest hurt to think about it.

Did you end up going to South America? Was this his closest reality then?

He watched this other version of himself curiously, noticing how happy he looked as he leant on the table talking to the Bowtruckle who seemed to be just as excited “yes Pickett, she’ll be here tomorrow and we’ll go and meet her at the docks and...and bring her home,” the other Newt murmured, smiling back at Pickett who danced around excitedly.

“Maybe it’s about time I ask her to stay,” he whispered, resting his chin in his palm with a small smile.

Newt looked up from the pair when he heard knocking at the front door, moving towards it on instinct and pausing when he remembered that he was just an onlooker here.

The other Newt got to his feet slowly, his eyebrows drawn together, shaking his head in response to Pickett’s chirping “no she’s not supposed to be here yet...but yes I suppose she could surprise us”.

The idea of you surprising him with an early arrival had him quickly walking to the door with a bright smile. He yanked the door open half expecting it to be you.

“Theseus?”, he frowned, the smile dropping from his face completely when he saw the tears shining in his brother’s eyes and he stepped back when Theseus pushed him into the apartment.

Newt watched the scene before him, the sense of dread settling in his stomach once again. He’d never seen his brother cry before.

“T-Theseus what’s wrong?”, the other Newt stuttered, moving to the kitchen to fetch him a cup of tea and freezing when Theseus grabbed his wrist, shaking his head “Newt, sit down.”

“No tell me what’s wrong”, he said, gripping Theseus by the shoulders, watching as his brother blinked hard a few times, furiously rubbing at his eyes a moment later.

“Theseus talk to me.”

Silence.

And then.

“The ship Y/N was on went down last night. Rogue wave.”

Theseus was gutted himself because he loved you like a little sister after the years you’d spent gradually slotting yourself into the Scamander’s lives. But he was truly hurting for his little brother, knowing how this news would break him.

Newt slapped his hand to his mouth, shaking his head furiously as he paced around the apartment trying to see the portal out of this reality and back through the mirror as the other Newt gaped at his older brother, his face gone pale.

“No no no she...she had her wand. She would have found a way out!”

“Newt I’m sorry she didn’t m-‘

“No! She can swim and she’s smart- s—s-she can swim better than me” the other Newt stuttered, his voice cracking as he gripped the back of the chair for support, feeling his legs would give out any moment.

“She didn’t make it, Newt.” Theseus said firmly, wrapping his arms around his younger brother tightly and gripping the back of his head as the first sobs broke through the apartment.

Newt was starting to cry himself, finding it harder and harder to breathe as he listened to the guttural sobs coming from his other self. It felt like the room was closing in on him and his chest was starting to physically ache. He covered his ears and chanted.

“It’s not real. It’s not real. It’s not real,” he kept chanting like a mantra, reminding himself over and over that this was just another reality and that his Y/N was safe and sound at home. In your shared apartment.

He barely noticed the room had morphed around him again until it was quiet and he was standing in his now dark apartment, facing a very disheveled and clearly drunk Newt. There was rubbish littered everywhere and Newt noticed the discarded newspaper with a photo of you and himself on the front page. He skimmed the article, wiping his tears away.

MAGIZOOLOGIST SCAMANDER’s ASSISTANT TRAGICALLY DROWNS IN SHIPWRECK

So, you’d drowned after you’d dropped your wand trying to help a young muggle child onto a life raft. Newt felt his stomach twist at that because it was something you would do.

Why didn’t anyone save you?

He sat down at the table across from the other Newt, burying his face in his hands as he pleaded for the mirror to let him out of this hell scape.

He jumped a bit when Tina and Queenie suddenly appeared in front of him, both of them looking somber as they moved towards the other Newt.

Queenie gripped him by the shoulders gently while Tina pried the bottle of fire-whiskey from his hands

“Newt, honey you’ve got to stop this.”

Queenie practically pleaded, stroking his hair back. She had her own tears threatening to spill because she could hear all the pain and guilt he was feeling.

“It wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have stopped it”, she whispered, jumping a bit when he slammed his hand down on the table in response.

“I COULD HAVE STOPPED IT!”, he shouted, his voice hoarse while Newt continued to sit there with his head pressed in his hands, vowing to never let you set foot on a ship without him.

“Newt, nothing can change it now! You need to accept it and move on”, Tina said firmly, pushing her sister aside as she stood in front of him, pulling him to his feet.

“Y/N is gone and she’s never coming back. You need to pull yourself together because you still have a whole case of creatures to care for. Theseus can’t keep taking care of them for you. That man is at his wits end. And Y/N wouldn’t want you moping around like this!”

Newt only looked up when Tina’s ranting finally stopped and he was met with silence. He was now completely alone sitting in front of your tombstone.

It was as if something inside him broke then and he found himself scrambling to his feet and shaking his head frantically when he noticed a bunch of your favourite flowers propped against the stone.

“No no no no no let me out I’ve had enough! Niffler!” He shouted, desperately looking for any way out of the mirror as he grew more and more hysterical.

-     -     -     -     -     -      -     -     -     -     -     -    -     -     -     -     -     -

He let out a gasp, hunched over  and gripping his knees when he was thrust back into the shop. “You!” He shouted, grabbing Mr. Galloglass by his collar.

“Why did you keep me in there so long?!” he practically growled, tears still flowing from his eyes. He felt completely wrecked as he held the man's collar tightly in his grip, trying to get a grasp on his true reality as he stared at the man “tell me where my Niffler is!” he demanded, his eyes wild.

Mr. Galloglass sighed and pulled Newt’s hands away from his collar, smiling apologetically at the young man.

“I don’t have any say in this. Only the mirror can decide what you see and when it’s finished. You obviously have more to learn.”

“NO I do NOT have more to learn!”, Newt snapped, grabbing his case “I’ve seen plenty and I need to go home right now!”

He spotted a familiar flurry of dark fur scurrying by and he set his case down, reaching towards the creature.

“No YOU get back here!” he said , lunging forward when he saw the Niffler, chasing after him once again through the mirror before he could stop himself.

-     -     -     -     -     -      -     -     -     -     -     -    -     -     -     -     -     -

This time there were no words or phrases echoing in his mind. He was greeted with only silence as he fell on his ass once again into his apartment and he saw you in the kitchen.

You were clearly pregnant and he shook his head as he stood up quickly. He felt the bile rise in his throat as he faced the wall that he had just come through.

“NO LET ME OUT! I am DONE I have seen enough! I have learnt my lesson just let me out!” He shouted, pounding his fists against the wall and letting out a cry of frustration when nothing happened. He begrudgingly turned to face you when you called his name.

This time you looked happy and healthy and Newt wondered if you’d married the same scumbag from the earlier reality. But his heart stopped in his chest when he saw yet another version of himself take you into his arms and press a loving kiss to your lips.

He watched on in utter shock as you kissed this other Newt back with the brightest smile on your lips as you wrapped your arms around him.

And Newt wondered if it was possible to be jealous of himself?

He stared at you completely astounded, feeling a warmth blossoming in his chest at the way you were gazing at the other Newt. And the way you had wrapped your body around his, clinging to him like he was your very own life raft.

The room morphed around him much faster than he had hoped and he found himself standing behind the two of you in a baby’s nursery. He watched the two of you kiss the baby in your arms before you set him down in his crib, still holding each other close.

Newt blinked when the room shifted suddenly again and this time he was standing on platform 9 3/4 staring at you standing tucked into the other Newt’s side as you waved your two children off onto the Hogwarts Express.

Newt only felt his chest swell more as he watched the other Newt press a kiss to your temple, his hand coming to rest on your stomach that was round with another baby on the way.

He huffed and closed his eyes when the room started to morph again, this time at super speed showing him flashes of this alternate reality. He couldn’t breathe again but it was for all the right reasons as he watched literally all of his dreams and more unfold before him.

He felt a few tears slip from his eyes when he was left standing still once more.

This time you had both grown old and you were sitting together hand in hand in Newt’s case, watching small children which he assumed to be your grandchildren, running around.

He watched as you tipped your face upwards to press a kiss to the other Newt’s lips and he could just make out you murmuring the words ‘I love you’ before his attention was taken by the Niffler that was bolting towards him.

He quickly crouched down and held his hands out for the creature “come here you!”

-     -     -     -     -     -      -     -     -     -     -     -    -     -     -     -     -     -

Newt let out a sigh when he was back in the mirror shop, facing Mr. Galloglass once again with the Niffler clutched in his hands. He made quick work of setting the creature back into his case and making sure it was latched properly this time before he turned back to face the mirror. He lay his hand against the cool glass as he took in everything he’d just seen.

He couldn’t even begin to decipher what he was feeling right now because he was simultaneously traumatised by the reality in which you drowned and elated by the prospect of calling you his wife and spending his life with you.

Then he rubbed a hand down his face when he remembered Mr. Galloglass and turned to face the man, hoping to apologise to him for shouting at him but the man just waved his hand dismissively before Newt could talk.

“Don’t worry about it, son. You just go and do what you need to do,” the old man murmured, clapping him on the shoulder firmly before guiding him back out of the shop and Newt turned around to nod at him one last time before he took off down the street with his case in hand.

Finally, all of his fears and all of the worst-case scenarios he’d conjured up in his mind faded into white noise and all that mattered now was telling you of his devotion.

It was settled. He was going to tell you the truth once and for all and nothing was going to stop him. He never even found out what Mr.Galloglass meant by Empire Line.

-Other Works Here!- 

[dancing-withthedoctor]

Okey so Hi, me again! :)

I am actually wondering if the main characters are humans or/and other creatures?

Also, if you want to share it of course, I am wondering what relation are between them? Like how did they met and why? Maybe there's bigger purpose behind it?

*all their names have meanings and direct connects to who they are i just forget some of them 

here are their character sheets and a little worldbuilding mixed in

Name: Uriel

Gender: Male (he/him)

Race/Ethnicity: Angel, Caucasian

Age: Unknown (roughly 20 in human years if I had to give a number)

Family/Ancestry: An angel created by God, hierarchy system of angels (Archangels -> angels -> humans, this hierarchy system is only specific to their Realm), no "blood relatives", angels intended purpose is to protect and serve humans while providing knowledge, wisdom, and guidance

Realm: Realm of Angels (this name is a wip)

Appearance: light skin, blue eyes, silky long white hair, 6’ 1”, slender body, wears a pure cotton full body robe

Personality: quiet, observant, reserved, has a fascination with knowledge and learning about other cultures, is learning to have empathy for the other races however it’s not tolerated towards the Fallen

Hobbies: playing his harp, reading history books, (with his exploration in the book he develops the hobbies of talking walks in the woods/enjoying nature, collects plants and herbs for fun) 

Abilities: has the ability to heal, though healing only goes so far, wings can help him fly, trained at a young age to use a sword in combat if necessary 

Sexuality: Asexual 

~~~~

Name: Azazel (Nickname: Zaz)

Gender: Male (He/Him)

Race/Ethnicity: Angel (Fallen), Mixed (Caucasian/African)

Age: Unknown (roughly 21 or so in human years if i had to give a number)

Family/Ancestry: was created by God, no longer associated with the Angels, no “blood relatives”, considered to be a Fallen due to past transgressions, has a younger sister (not by blood) that he has protected ever since he lost his right to be an Angel

Realm: Realm of Obscurum (obscurum means darkness in latin)

Appearance: Brown skin, red (maroon) eyes , medium length dark hair with streaks of white, 5’ 10”, slightly muscular build, wears a thin black turtleneck sweater, black cargo pants, combat boots, and a hooded cape

Personality: withdrawn due to his outcasting, empathetic but doesn’t express emotions well, aggressive, doesn’t trust people well, protector

Hobbies: hunting, collecting herbs (natural healing remedies), sharpening knives, playing with his sister 

Abilities: was trained in sword wielding, but he prefers smaller dual wielding knives like daggers, hand-to-hand combat, used to have the ability to heal, knows a lot about the body

Sexuality: Gay (no this is not the reason he got cast out of the Realm of Angels)

~~~~

Name: Mitis (Nickname: Tess) (mitis means gentle in latin)

Gender: Non-binary (she/they), they use their pronouns interchangeably, however in her human form she prefers (she/her) and in their fae form they prefer (they/them)

Race/Ethnicity: Faerie, Scottish or Irish i can't decide lol

Age: 300 (roughly 19 years human age)

Family/Ancestry: Faeries have been around longer than the comprehension of the human mind. Mitis comes from a large family, filled with more brothers and sisters than she can count. Fae culture is deep rooted in survival, family, and trust. In their nature states, the fae are easily controlled due to their small size, so over the years with their magic, they can now present as human if they so choose

Realm: Realm of Faes

Appearance: in her “human form” she’s 5’ 1”, red curly hair (wears a crown made of twigs, leaves, and flowers), freckles across their cheeks, green eyes, wears a short dress made of lilies, in her fae form, they look exactly the same but she’s an inch tall 

Personality: peacekeeper, kind and loyal, headstrong, pacifist, wants to be a hero, wants to be considered an individual, but since she has so many siblings, she gets referred to as “they” and the pronoun stuck but it's comforting for them, extrovert

Hobbies: reading, drawing maps, playing and talking with her siblings

Abilities: human form: bow and arrow (since being human is new and recent ability for the fae, she taught herself how to use a bow and arrow to defend herself), fae form: plant type magic (since they have developed their powers from birth, it's the strongest magic they possess)

Sexuality: Pansexual

~~~~

Name: Sibyl (nickname: Sib) (another word for seer)

Gender: Female (She/Her)

Race/Ethnicity: Human, Mixed (Filipino/Caucasian)

Age: 19

Family/Ancestry: Humans have been kept in check by the other Realms, but with that being said, they are the lowest Realm in terms of wealth and power. The Archangels in the Realm of Angels are in charge of looking after and governing the Realm of Humans as it is their duty to. She grew up without knowing her father, living with a single mother. She was blind at birth, but was also given the ability to see into the future. Maybe her father had magical abilities? But as far as anyone is concerned he was human too.

Realm: Realm of Humans (might change this name later)

Appearance: tan skin, short wavy black hair (neck length), grey eyes, 5’, wears a dark blue dress with see through sleeves (a slit down the middle of the sleeve), with a dark blue hooded cape, wears a belt with her essentials (weapons, food, water, etc)

Personality: Due to being exploited at a young age for her Seer Powers (as a way for her and her mother to make money), she has grown a distaste for people and beings in general, stubborn, manipulative, cold

Hobbies: Unknown

Abilities: can see into the future, can use her ability willingly when physically connected to the person in question, has some fighting abilities due to other heightened senses,, overexertion causes headaches and nosebleeds

Sexuality: Unknown (questioning) 

~~~~

Name: Indra (means warrior god of sky and rain in indian)

Gender: Female (She/Her)

Race/Ethnicity: Water Nymph, Indian

Age: 18 (water nymph years)

Family/Ancestry: Water Nymphs come from the ancestry of all women. Water nymphs are “born” during heavy rainstorms or thunderstorms. Heavy rainstorms/thunderstorms only happen roughly every few centuries due to water nymphs having a shorter lifespan (mother nature type of situation, in order to not flood the world). Water Nymphs tend to stay in one area, but the ocean is expanding drastically. Indra was born during one of the most destructive rainstorms of the century, she was the only one born that century and that’s how she received her name. She was raised by a community of Water Nymphs, she considers them all her sisters.

Realm: Realm of Nexus (Realm of Nexus is the largest of the physical present Realms on the planet)

Appearance: blue skin, plump cheeks, dark long wavy hair, purple/violet eyes, 5’ 3”, wears a tube top and high/low flared shirt, wear a bracelet made of grass and it has a little water lily attached to it 

Personality: positive, free-spirited, emotionally oriented, headstrong, mischievous

Hobbies: swimming, taking care of animals, sunbathing, having conversations with people close to her, training

Abilities: emotional based powers, powers are heightened when her emotions are heightened (both positive and negative emotions), negative emotions are more destructive while positive emotions are more creative, uses water around her as a weapon

Sexuality: Straight

~~~~

Name: Lunar

Gender: Male (He/Him)

Race/Ethnicity: idk he's from the moon :), African

Age: 19

Family/Ancestry: Not much is known about space and anything beyond Earth (aside from the Realm of Angels), but what is being recently discovered is that there is a civilization on the Moon, a new peace treaty was introduced and now they are considered a Realm. No one really knows how they got there, but they are similar to humans except they use telepathic communication to reach each other. Talking vocally is not uncommon, Lunar has selective mutism which means at a younger something traumatic happened and he chooses not to speak.  Lunar was picked  to explore Earth and everything it has to offer. Lunar comes from a family of four; a mother, father, and a younger sister. Lunar uses telepathic communication, written communication, and USL (universal sign language) to communicate with others.

Realm: currently travelling between realms *an excuse to not call it Realm of the Moon 🤡

Appearance: long braided white hair, blue-grey skin tone, dark blue eyes, 5’ 5”, lanky build (but also stronger than he looks), wears white dress shirt with a dark blue vest, belt, and black pants, wears dress shoes, wears a satchel that holds his notebook and pen (his communication devices)

Personality: calm, quiet, reasonable, strategic, sweet, great listener

Hobbies: charting stars, playing with his younger sister, traveling

Abilities: telepathic, can communicate with others through his mind (with their permission), if there is a full moon, he can manipulate people’s thoughts though he's never done so, when communicating out-of-mind; he signs or writes it in his notebook

Sexuality: Straight

~~~~

As for the next part of your ask, im completely fine talking about their relationships with each other and how they met (though as of rn, some stuff is set in stone and other aren't)

let's start with ships! so there are 2 ships out of the six and only one of them is romantic. lunar and indra will eventually be in a romantic relationship, they were the easiest to pair together. I first created what kind of being they were going to be. indra and lunar are inspired by the fact that the moon pulls the tides on the earth, so you could say its fate :') the second relationship is uriel and azazel, they are platonic soulmates. i had to give a lot of thought about uriel and azazel's relationship and what I wanted it to be or mean. all I can say is, is that uriel is asexual and comes to that revelation through self growth with zaz! I also thought about having mitis and sibyl have some kind of romantic relationship, but I didn't feel right so they are simply friends and who will eventually trust each other a great deal.

i like to think of them as a family: uriel and zaz are like the parents of the group (zaz will never admit it though), mitis and indra and the mischievous kids, they mess around and do dumb stuff because it looks fun, sibyl is like the brooding teenager (if this world had headphones, she'd never listen to anybody), and lunar is just the good kid parents always want lol

next is how they all met! this is actually what I'm trying to figure out in my writing right now, so its great that you asked this because I can think on it and solidify it more. the rough idea i have, is that uriel finds an old book hidden behind a wall or a bookshelf in one of the historical archives that tells a story of the future (Uriel's present) of the event of a catastrophe that hasn't happened yet, but six individuals from all 6 Relams needing to save the world. uriel is essentially the catalyst that gets the group together because curiosity got the best of him. in terms of the order they met: Uriel meets Sibyl because he was assigned to monitor her and guided her cause she was causing ruckus in the Realm of Human. Sibyl gets a glimpse of the future and decides to trust him enough to see this through, they then meet Azazel, Mitis, and Indra (though I don't know what specific order yet) and Lunar is last, and they literally just run into him as their traveling in the woods like "who are you 😳" 

also yes, them coming together definitely has more than its letting on, but I'll keep it to myself for now ;)

~~~~

im still working out the kinks of the whole "saving the world" bit and whether or not I should introduce a villain to the story! but each of the main six do have problems of their own they have to solve and most importantly they have to learn to coexist because the fate of the world depends on it

im sorry this post was so long, it was probably a lot of reading, but I meant it when I said I'd talk your ear off lol feel free to ask more questions:) 

[thesigilsofbaphomet]

Lucifer Wants What’s Best For You

(And God is Your Enemy)

So... I touched on this in my response to someone talking about using Micheal in Catholic Folk Magic as a protective, social justice spirit. But I cut my overall take short, because it was off topic. But I wanted to talk about it, so, it’s time for one of my rare non-reblog posts on this blog.

I’ll begin by restating my overall premise- If you look at both canonical and folk-loric sources on Satan, you see a figure who simply desires to help people.

The Snake in the Garden

It is important to note that The Serpent in Genesis is not Lucifer/Satan/The Devil. It’s just... a serpent. Like, it’s not even, specifically, a demon. But the serpent, being a magical talking animal who convinces humans to act contrary to the will of God, is commonly seen as a demon. And I’ll go with that.

So, God creates the whole universe. This includes The Garden of Eden, the paradise that God rents to the first humans in exchange for their obedience. They’re allowed to eat from any tree in the Garden, except the tree in the center, known as the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil (The ToKoGaE).

Note- God created Eden for Adam and Eve. God is omniscient, meaning all knowing, thus he knows that Adam and Eve will eventually eat the fruit of the tree. The general Christian take is that the tree is a test. However, if you know that the test takers will fail a test, and you know you will give them a rather extreme punishment for that failure, is it not extremely cruel to present that test?

So the serpent talks to Eve, and there’s an exchange, and eventually, the snake convinces Eve to eat ToKoGaE fruit. Giving her knowledge of Good and Evil. And there’s some really weird thing here where suddenly she knows she’s nude, because she ate fruit that gives her moral knowledge, and apparently there’s a moral weight to nudity? And it’s bad? But God made them nude? So God explicitly create humans in a state of Sin and this whole original sin shit doesn’t really fucking hold up if they were created in a state of sin to begin with? I digress. Eve gives Adam the ToKoGaE fruit, now they both know their nude, so they start gluing leaves to their skin with sap or something (I refuse to believe they had any actual knowledge of how to weave leaves into clothes like it’s just a thing you can do and not something you have to learn how to do, and there’s literally no reason for them to have done that prior, so this is literally the first time they’re trying to use leaves as cover).

And the usual Christian take is that the snake is wrong in this. But... knowledge is good, and God was specifically withholding knowledge from Adam and Eve. So the Serpent was helping them.

Satan Scares a Guy’s Ass

No, literally. A guy named Balaam is riding a donkey and Satan appears to scare the donkey to stop him.

This story makes no goddamned sense, even when you read it in a vaguely modern dialect. But, basically, the Israelites leave Egypt and settle, and the guy who rules the land next to them says “holy shit, that’s a lot of guys, they might come take my shit.” So he sends some messengers to a seer, Balaam, to ask him to curse the Israelites so he can beat them in battle. Balaam says “Ok, sleep here, I’ll tell you what God says in the morning.” In the morning, Balaam’s like “Bad news, guys. God says I can’t go with you. The Israelites are blessed.” The king sends more messengers who are more official looking and they say “Look, dude, our lord will give you SO MUCH HONOR if you come curse these guys for us”

So Balaam says “Look, I don’t care if your king sucks my dick gives me his palace and all his money, I can’t go against God. But stay here, I’ll tell you if he says anything more in the morning (and on reflection, it almost seems like this is explicitly acknowledging that God is just extremely capricious). God tells Balaam, “Ok, go with them, but do exactly what I tell you.” So Balaam saddles his ass up, and goes with them.

And God gets pissed off? Because, I’ll repeat, God is a capricious asshole. So Satan (or, An Angel of the Lord, depending on the translation you read, but the original Hebrew says it’s Satan, who, in Judaism, is an angel of YHWH, and basically exists to test humans) appears, only visible to Balaam’s donkey, and the donkey says “oh fuck that, I’m gonna go to this field over here.” Balaam hits the donkey and the donkey goes back to the pass. So Satan appears again, this time in a narrow pass, so the donkey say “eeengghh...” and tries to, like, slide past Satan by scrapping the wall, and scrapes Balaam’s foot, so, again, Balaam beats his ass. Finally, Satan appears on, like, a narrow bridge, and the donkey can’t turn, can’t just scrape against a wall, and so just lays down. Balaam is, again, pissed off, and Satan opens Balaam’s eyes and asks him why he’s beating his donkey, and God opens the donkey’s mouth so the donkey can be like “no seriously, what the fuck, dude?”

But, so, in Numbers, Satan appears to just stop a guy from doing what God told him not to (and then to) do.

“They go through houses — they go up, they ring doorbells”

In Chronicles, David, king of Israel, decides to have a census. Or Satan tells him to. It’s not clear. In Samuel, David has the idea independently, but in Chronicles Satan tells him to. But anyway. David wants to have a census, which is a pretty reasonable thing. Censuses have a purpose, they tell a government how many people there are, and where they live, and, in America, give data that can be used to decide where and how to spend tax money. But for some reason, authoritarians don’t like censuses.

I want to say more about this, but... it’s literally just “Satan tells David to take a census, God doesn’t like that.” and then God sending an angel to tell David “pick a punishment!”

The Outlier--Job

I feel like a broken record, but, again, this story makes no fucking sense. Job’s super devout, and God’s blessed him. Satan walks up to God and says “Dude, he’s only devout because you gave him shit. Let me take his shit, and you’ll see how devout he really is.” And God says “Ok, sure, but you can’t kill him.”

So Satan just absolutely shits on Job. He gives Job boils, he kills his family, he financially ruins him, and through it all, Job refuses to reject God, so Satan is forced to concede, and God’s like “Haha, told you. Now, Job, how’d you like a new wife?”

This is the one story I’m aware of where Satan is legitimately just screwing with a guy and not trying to help him.

And Satan’s There, Too!

Satan next appears in Zechariah, in, like, a vision, and he’s just sort of there? This is another “The Satan” thing, where Satan is an angel of God whose purpose is to test humans. He doesn’t really do anything, he just gets mentioned as being there.

Then there’s a mention of Lucifer in Isaiah, and, literally, it’s just a reference. He’s not even there, it’s just a throwaway line saying “Lucifer was cast out of Heaven.”

Satan Asks Jesus Out to Some Beers

The last three mentions of Lucifer in the Bible occur in the New Testament, two of them are just Lucifer tempting Jesus.

Mark just mentions that Satan tempted Jesus.

Luke actually describes the temptation. So, Jesus goes out into the desert and fasts for forty days. Lucifer shows up and says “dude, you’re the son of God, just turn this stone into some bread, and have something to eat.” Jesus rebukes him in a “completely missing the goddamned point” way. So Lucifer takes him up to a mountain and says, “Look, dude, come with me, and can rule over everything you see here. It’s all mine, and it’s mine to give to who I choose. Just worship me.” And Jesus rebukes him. So Lucifer takes Jesus up to the top of a temple and says “God gave the angels to you, they’ll protect you, jump off and they’ll catch you.” And Jesus rebukes him again, and Lucifer disappears in a poof of exasperation.

Now, what’s the purpose of this? Well, there’s the standard Christian reading that Satan is trying to lure Jesus away from serving God’s plan because he’s EVIL and his SOLE PURPOSE IS TO OPPOSE GOOD AND THAT’S GOD. But... Ok, so Jesus is the son of God, he’s divine, and, it’s reasonable to assume that he can’t die unless God allows it, because it’s part of God’s plan for him to die in a specific context. So.... why does he fast for forty days? It’s not like he can starve, and he’s divine, so it’s not like he can suffer the pangs of hunger, unless he chooses to, so... is there any meaning in his fasting? I argue not. It’s exactly as meaningless as the act of turning a stone to bread and having a bite.

Then, there’s the second temptation. If we assume that Jesus is benevolent, and divine, and I argue, even as a Satanist, that Jesus is benevolent. I also believe that Lucifer is benevolent and the creator god is the standout as the not-benevolent one in the game. But I expect Christians believe that Satan is evil and Jesus good. Therefore, in Luke 4, Satan says “this world is mine, to give to they who I see fit.” And Jesus refuses to even pay lip service. Despite the fact Jesus ruling the world would presumably be better for people than a world rules by Satan. And Satan is offering that, maybe as a fuck you to God, but he is freely offering up his temporal power to someone who would make the world a better place.

The final temptation, I would argue, is Satan trying to free Jesus from God’s plan that demands he suffer torture and death. He’s trying to show Jesus “you have power of your own, you don’t have to subject yourself to this plan that ends in your death.”

If we interrogate the narrative from it’s own perspective, then Jesus is both God and human, and Satan is appealing to him as a human, saying “you’re a god, you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to die.”

Luke 22 is the last mention of Satan in the Bible, and it just says that Satan entered Judas (not in a sexy way), and Judas went out to talk to the pharisees about how he could betray Jesus. But...well, ok, literally the line is-

3 Then entered Satan into Judas surnamed Iscariot, being of the number of the twelve.

4 And he went his way, and communed with the chief priests and captains, how he might betray him unto them.

Like... it makes me think that a lot of the time, when Satan is mentioned in the Bible, they don’t mean a literal figure named Satan, and they’re using the name poetically to refer to people working against God or Jesus. Because... Jesus’ death is foreordained. It’s part of God’s plan, so why would Satan be involved in Judas’ betrayal of Jesus? Unless this is going back to the Judaic idea of Satan as an angel of God who acts as an adversary of humanity, in which case, Satan is acting on God’s orders to make Judas betray Jesus.

To Infinity and Beyond

So, that’s the extent to which Satan is mentioned in the Bible in anyway, either as a figure never called Satan but often conflated with him, to The Adversary, to Lucifer.

After that, you have to look at folk lore and media, and this is simultaneously difficult, because pretty much anyone can make a story up and it can get traction, and actually kind of easy in this particular case, because... most folk lore is one a single track when it comes to Satan.

Most folk lore involving Lucifer/Satan/whatever you want to call him-

I hear he misses the old names, so, special shoutout to “Little Horn”

-involves a human who wants something, and Satan showing up to give it to them for their soul.

And this comes to a realization I made last year- In these stories, if you take the Christian worldview, Satan is actually... giving these things away for free, not for people’s souls.

I’m pretty sure I talked about this on this tumblr, but I’ll go through it so you don’t have to hunt it down.

In Christianity, your soul is not yours, it belongs to God, so you can’t actually give it away or “sell” it

However, to do so, if your could, would be a sin

In Christianity, or at least Catholicism, conceiving of a sin with full intent to commit it is the same as committing the sin.

Therefore, even if you can’t, technically, “sell your soul to the devil,” if you decide to do so, you have immediately sinned, and in fact, you have committed pretty much the biggest sin there is in Christianity, Apostasy, one which cannot be forgiven by any temporal power, and the forgiveness of is the sole domain of God himself.

ie, If you commit Apostasy, you are immediately condemned to Hell, unless God himself intervenes. If you decide to sell your soul to Satan, you have already committed apostasy, even though that’s not a thing you can actually do.

Thus, when a person resolves to trade their soul for something, they are immediately condemned, their soul already destined for Hell, simply for deciding they would give it to Satan instead of trusting in God. Satan should obviously know how this works, he should be aware that a person just deciding to trade their soul is sufficient, and Satan has no reason to actually give the person anything.

So, given that, here’s what happens- A person wants something, they want it so badly, they decide to sell their soul to Satan for it. Satan is fully aware that at that moment the person’s soul is already his. But then he goes and gives them what they want.

The only possible way to interpret that is that Satan literally wants to help people.

But What About Hell?

So, how does one suppose that Satan just wants to help people if those people are still condemned to Hell for accepting his help?

Well, again, we’re going to go back to my background of having been raised Catholic.

In the Catholic tradition, Hell is not a place of fiery torment, it is not a place where demons break out the medieval torture shit and rend your soul. The torment of Hell, in the Catholic tradition, comes from the fact that God is absent. The Catholic tradition believes that Hell is painful because God’s presence is not there, that those who are in Hell are cut off from God.

Obviously, Catholics believe a lot of stuff is the natural consequence of this, they probably believe that without the presence of God, people are more malevolent in Hell, and so there are probably plenty of “mundane” torments there in addition.

However, I believe that the presence of God is not a perceivable thing. If it were, there should not be any atheists, or even non-Catholics. If you could perceive the presence of God, then why would you ever not believe in that God? Therefore, Hell should not feel any particularly different from life on Earth. But even if it does, that is, even if the absence of God is apparently despite his presence not being so, I contend that the human spirit can become accustomed to anything.

Therefore... Hell is not a place of torment, especially for the sinful who reject God in the first place.

Aside: Is God’s Presence Desirable?

If we look at the figure of God from the Bible, I contend that God is worthy of nothing but contempt and hatred.

God is said to have created the universe and all life in it--so that it might adore and adulate him.

God is, supposedly, Omniscient, Omnipotent, and Omnibenevolent (The Three Omnis). But he created a world of pain and suffering, and not all of that is the consequence of free will on the part of the person who suffers. You can argue that pain and suffering is a consequence of people choosing to do evil, but that does not explain the presence of suffering innocents. An omniscient being would know that free will would result in some people choosing to harm innocent children. An omnibenevolent being would wish to prevent that. An omnipotent being, creating a world ex nihilo, could create a world where the natural consequence of trying to harm a child prevents or punishes that attempt. It would not affect free will to create a world where trying to hurt a child caused the would-be perpetrator to burst into flames or have an immediate heart attack--just like it does not infringe on free will that we as humans cannot naturally fly and the natural consequence of jumping off a cliff trying to do so is to fall. It would not affect free will to create a world where children are immune to harm. God created a world where children can be harmed, and he chose to do so, knowing it would happen.

God paid disobedience with exile and painful death--when he would logically know that it would happen to begin with, due to his omniscience.

God looked at his “children” and murdered them in droves for disobedience.

In fact, God killed around 25 million people in the Bible, and that’s only counting adult men. Satan is responsible for about 10 specified deaths in the Bible (Job’s seven sons and three daughters), but the number of Job’s servants aren’t given, and they were slain at his prompting as well. But Job likely wouldn’t have had more than a few hundred servants, and even if he had ten times that number, even if he had 10,000 servants, God is responsible for at least 2,500 times as many, in adult men alone.

Altogether, the Bible itself paints an image of God as an abusive, selfish authoritarian who throws his “children” away in a fit of pique, or boredom, or to win a bet. Is this a figure deserving of worship? Of adoration? Of love? Christians seem to believe yes, believing that their creation at his whim is all that is needed to earn such. It is the position of an abused child who loves their toxic parent simply because of their relation, and despite their abuses.

An Image of Satan

So, on the other hand, we have this figure who staged a rebellion against a heavenly authority, who rules over a land eternal where the only torment is the absence of his foe, who we have already examined and found to be an abusive authoritarian.

A figure who has killed not even 1% of the people this authoritarian did, and who freely gives what is needed to those who, essentially, pledge themselves to his domain.

A Matter of Interpretation

In the end, it comes down to interpretation and belief, since we actually don’t have any kind of primary source on, well, anything to do with the Bible, or religion in general, to be honest. Personally, I think that if you’re looking at the Bible as any kind of authoritative source, then this is the only possible honest conclusion. If you believe that God is any way not reprehensibly abusive, then you can’t view the Bible as any kind of authoritative source, at least as regards God.

I’m a Satanist, so of course I’m given to a more sympathetic view of Satan, but given that there is no particular authoritative source for Lucifer (even the Bible would have been written by his enemy), the character of Satan can only really be inferred from non-authoritative sources, and interestingly, whatever a person says about their enemy, those statements are incredibly revealing of the speaker, as well.

I don’t, necessarily, believe that all Christians follow such a reprehensible creed, I don’t even think all Christians who view the Bible as, if you’ll pardon the pun, gospel, do. But I think a lot of Christians do not take any time to honestly evaluate the Bible and what it says about their God.

[tanoraqui]

I blame @professorsparklepants for encouraging me and @words-writ-in-starlight for innocently happening to think/reblog about the same crossover on the same night, pushing me over the edge. Also my unwillingness to work on long-term projects.

If Wei Ying hadn’t been in Yiling, and the Witch’s mountain hadn’t been exactly on the way from there back to Yunmeng, Jiang Fengmian would almost certainly not have stopped there. There were any number of ways to deal with the fact that the boy was, apparently, more his mother’s son than his father’s - water-breathing potions, air-filled chambers...

But there he was and there she was, and there was no harm in asking what a price might be. He could always walk back down the mountain empty-handed (except for the half-Merrow half-Daoine Sidhe six-year-old clutching his left hand.)

He knocked politely. There was no answer. He’d raised his hand to knock again when the door opened abruptly in the hand of a young woman wearing little more than underclothes, a wave of dark hair held back with a piece of painter’s tape. Her eyes were dark green and they darkened near to black when they landed on Wei Ying. 

“Where did you get that child?” she demanded.

“I found him,” he said, caught off-guard. Then he remembered his manners, and bowed from the waist. “Baoshan Sanren.” (One didn’t call her “Witch to her face.) “I am Jiang Fengmian, ruler of the Lotus Kingdom of the Undersea. I’ve come to ask - ”

“I know who you are, Jiang Fengmian.” In her voice, the words were a threat. “I want to know what happened to the child’s parents.

Before they’d started up the Witch’s mountain, Jiang Fengmian had impressed upon Wei Ying the importance of being quiet and polite and not drawing attention. Though the boy was clearly boisterously friendly by nature, life on the streets had also taught him how to behave otherwise, and he was now so quiet that it was almost worrying. Or perhaps it was the effort of the climb, and the daunting aura of the Witch.

Nonetheless, Jiang Fengmian tugged him forward. “This is Wei Ying. His parents, Wei Changze and Cangse Sanren...” The Witch’s hard stare made it difficult to skirt as usual with formal words. “They stopped their dancing, several years ago. I only just found Wei Ying.”

For a split second, Baoshan Sanren leaned on the doorframe like she needed the support, eyes as dark as a seal’s. Jiang Fengmian very abruptly remembered that Cangse, among her multitude of astonishing stories and incredible adventures, had once or twice alluded to not just knowing but living with this terrifying woman. This almost-certainly-a-Firstborn, though no two accounts agreed on whom her descendants might be.

His grip on Wei Ying’s hand tightened involuntarily.

Then it was gone; her back was straight and her eyes seaglass-green, and she turned as she said, “Well, you might as well come in. I don’t like to make deals on the doorstep.”

From the outside, the Witch’s house looked like a one-room hovel. From the inside, it looked much the same: cramped, dimly lit, cluttered with everything from teacups to fishing wire. The wooden floor was soft in a way that suggested mold, though the strongest scent was saltwater. If there was furniture, it wasn’t visible, aside from a small stove and single cupboard above it.

Wei Ying failed to conceal a murmur of appreciation as he stepped side to side on the squishy floor, shyness giving way to fascination. His gaze, and Jiang Fengmian’s, followed Baoshan Sanren as she retrieved three cups from the cupboard, filled them with leaves from her pockets and hot water from a pot on the stove, and presented them, somehow, all with two hands.

“You’ll want tea.” It wasn’t a question.

“You’re most gracious,” Jiang Fengmian murmured as he accepted a cup (instead, of course, of “thank you.”) Wei Ying dropped his hand to copy him, looking as excited about the tea as the squishable floor.

“So,” said Baoshan Sanren, “what do you want, King of the Lotuses? You’re clearly not here to introduce me to Cangse’s son.”

“Wei Ying is Cangse’s son,” he said, carefully, “in that he didn’t inherit his father’s ability to transform as a Merrow. I’d like to take him home, raise him with my own children, and I was wondering if you might know a way for him to...”

“Breathe?” she said drily. “You know there are common potions for that.”

“The brightest Tylweth Tyg in Gusu hasn’t alchemized anything that will last longer than a day,” he admitted. “And palace rooms with air...” His wife would hate that, it would be an infinite series of fights, and moreover, the ghosts of two of his best friends pushed at him. “Could you do something safer? More guaranteed?”

She made a neutral humming noise, and knelt down to Wei Ying’s height. “And you? What do you think of this?”

“I’d like to go with Uncle Jiang, please!” Wei Ying bounced on his heels, teacup in both hands and a bright smile on his face. “I’ll have a brother and a sister, and learn to use a trident, and instead of dogs, there’s octopi!”

If the Witch could be said to smile fondly, then that was almost certainly what she did. Jiang Fengmian pretended not to notice. 

“I need to taste some of your blood,” she said.

Jiang Fengmian made a noise of protest, but Wei Ying simply tilted his head in confused acquiescence. “Okay?” 

He looked around for a moment, visibly unsure what to do with his (already empty) cup, before setting it on the floor with a smile. Then, barely flinching, he bit his thumb hard enough to break the skin and held it out to the Witch.

“Is this good?”

Jiang Fengmian let out a breath. Right. Cangse Sanren had been the best bloodworker he’d ever met. He’d once seen her slice open her own wrist and use what spilled out to bind a dragon - a small dragon, but a dragon nonetheless. What tragically little Wei Ying remembered of his parents could easily include blood.

Baoshan Sanren swiped the blood off his finger and licked her own finger. “Yeah, that’ll do.” 

“I can arrange for the boy to breathe and swim and all the rest,” she said, standing, “as well as any Merrow, until he chooses not to. In return...two things.” She held up two fingers, and lowered one. “One, for as long as your bloodline rules the Lotus Kingdom, the Roane will be as welcome and safe in its borders as your own family.”

“The Roane?” Jiang Fengmian blinked. “Why - ”

“I’m giving you a price, not explaining it,” she snapped. “You’ll welcome the Roane, and listen to them if you’ve any sense, though that’s not part of my price.”

“I...understand the price being offered,” he said carefully. “The second element?”

She poked him in the chest with the force of a crashing wave. “I won’t ask the impossible - shut up about your family motto - but so long as that boy lives under your roof, you will do your utmost to make sure he knows that he’s loved.”

Jiang Fengmian relaxed. Ziyuan might be...neutral, was his hope, but he, at least, already loved Wei Ying simply for the sake of his parents - and he was a charming boy. A-Cheng and A-Li would take to him just fine, and no doubt the rest of the court would follow. And the Roane...he already tried to run a peaceful kingdom, for all the Undersea’s baseline of violence. It wouldn’t be any trouble to offer succor to a few seers.

“I accept your terms,” he said formally.

“Great.” Her smile was a shark’s, literally, and a shiver of power ran down his spine. It felt like the awareness of a weapon about to strike, when it was far too late to dodge.

She pulled a knife from her pocket and a somehow clean-looking from what might, beneath several layers, be a small table. “Now, I’ll need some blood.”

“What for?” asked Wei Ying, clearly feeling that some sort of tension had broken and he could speak again.

“You’re going to drink it,” said Baoshan Sanren.

Wei Ying hummed contemplatively, far too unconcerned for an average child.

So Jiang Fengmian let the Witch slice open his palm and collect a generous portion of blood - and then she took he teacup Wei Ying still held, long-since empty, and tossed it to the side, and beckoned him toward a door that hadn’t been beside the stove a moment ago.

“Come on, let’s get you changed - not you.” She pointed at Jiang Fengmian again. “You stay here. Sit wherever you want, this might take a while.”

“But - ”

“You wanted results, not a show,” she snapped. “They’re his secrets, not yours.”

Wei Ying looked back and forth between them, then took a few quick steps toward the Witch while smiling back at Jiang Fengmian. 

“I don’t mind!” he insisted. “I’ll just drink some blood, and then I’ll be able to swim?”

It came out as more of a question than he’d clearly intended, but Baoshan Sanren snorted. 

“You might still need to learn that. But you’ll have the chance.”

And she took him by the hand and led him through a door that couldn’t possibly lead to the Summerlands, there was no sign of it at all, no sense in the air...but where else could they be going? (Jiang Fengmian didn’t get a chance to see before the door closed behind them.)

What passed then was perhaps the most stressful twenty-three of Jiang Fengmian’s long life, and he had waited through the births of two children. He’d been looking for this child for two years, since hearing word of his friends’ deaths; he’d spent nearly as much time on land as in the water. He couldn’t lose him so soon - 

He heard the distant scream of a child in agonizing, unendurable pain, and his hand hovered over the knob to the door by the stove - still there, at least; not disappeared like some illusion. But he stopped himself. He had, after all, made a bargain with the Witch, and just because only stories said she’d once been of the Sea didn’t mean she couldn’t still wreak bloody vengeance on any of it who crossed her. 

He forced himself back, and not long after that, she emerged. Wei Ying was soaking wet and asleep in her arms - seemingly too big to carry for a relatively small woman, but she didn’t falter a moment as she passed him to Jiang Fengmian.

“He’s just exhausted,” she said, as Jiang Fengmian hurriedly adjusted his grip to check the boy’s pulse. “He needs rest and food, probably meat. He’s about three-fourths Merrow, now, so...you know your own diet.”

“I appreciate your help,”he said, instead of thank you, much less how?

“You’ll remember your promises.” It wasn’t a question and it wasn’t even quite a threat. Her eyes were as dark as the drowning deeps and that was the sort of place Jiang Fengmian had grown up, and now ruled, but it wasn’t at all comforting.

“I will.”

She nodded, and opened the door with a wave of her hand. “Now get the hell out of my house.”

[autumnblogs]

Day 18: Engineering our own misfortune

https://homestuck.com/story/2939

It never occurred to me until now that being betrayed by Jack Noir, the first person to accept him for who he is in a sense, is probably a signifcant part of the reason why Karkat is so angry. It’s probably ironic that the Blood Player’s relationships all have a tendency to disintegrate. Poor guy.

All but one of Karkat’s coplayers will either die, betray him, abandon him, or break up with him before the adventure is over.

More after the break. CW: This one has some suicide mentions in it.

https://homestuck.com/story/2950

WV and the other Carapacians may have some instinctive level of awareness of the players’ classes and aspects - while their legend is ensconced in Carapacian Lore, WV instantly senses the narrative presence of the Thief of Light.

https://homestuck.com/story/2960

Now here is something interesting. I just picked up on it, even though it has actually been present all throughout - when the Narrative addresses WV, it addresses him with information he almost certainly could not know - in a call and response fashion! While he’s jumping from one thought to another in terms of John’s different correspondents, the way that he phrases his dialogue suggests that he is aware of what the Narrative is addressing him.

https://homestuck.com/story/2962

And by all accounts, what he is viewing here is not the literal material events as they unfold, he’s literally looking at the same panels we are.

https://homestuck.com/story/2974

Vriska’s gloating here has always given me chills. It’s in moments like these that she really shines as not just a bully but an authentic diabolical mastermind who is, at least at this point in the story, utterly indifferent to the lives of other people.

https://homestuck.com/story/2975

Vriska’s external locus of control excuses her of feeling guilty about creating Bec Noir. While she is 100% responsible for it, that doesn’t mean, in her mind, that she should suffer any consequences for it (although she’s perfectly happy to take the credit for creating him, it seems.)

https://homestuck.com/story/2992

I’ve always thought that the Dream Bubbles were an extremely cool plot contrivance - semantically linking memories together with dreams and death is a really cool bit of linking.

https://homestuck.com/story/3008

Just as Jade has had effectively no parent to help her find her way in life, she will now have to suffer a sprite who cannot give her advice either. She remains alone.

https://homestuck.com/story/3010

Bec, to a greater degree than perhaps even the Seers, is directly cognizant of interruptions by Command Prompts.

https://homestuck.com/story/3017

I’m starting to be able to actually pick up the themes of the whole Exile plotline.

It seems, in general, to be a parable on power and authority, with each of the Exiles representing one kind or another. You’ve got WV who aspires to be first among equals, democratically elected, a community leader and organizer.

You’ve got the White Queen, who fits classical tropes related to the Good Monarch, a symbolic authority.

You’ve got the Peregrine Mendicant, whose take on governmental duty is more that of a functionary - her self-concept is as someone who does what is needed.

And then you’ve got the Aimless Renegade, who, as a Mad Max Type wasteland cop, could be read as either a playful parody of eighties and nineties copaganda, or as a criticism of copaganda, or both - government as the State, an enforcer of constructed order.

Of all of them, it’s clear that WV and PM’s takes on power are the most useful. The White King and Queen are quickly slaughtered once Jack arrives, because without their magical mcguffins, they remain little more than walking talking symbols.

AR is an interesting case though, because his defining character moment is that he hesitates to follow his orders, and while it could be argued that everything that ensues is his fault for not being stone cold enough to do what needs to be done, I’d argue that his hesitation is admirable - Jack escapes to live another day, and the Mayor survives. The Mayor’s infectious compassion ultimately saves his own life through the AR’s refusal to let him die by destroying the command stations in Cascade, because AR is not willing to trade lives.

https://homestuck.com/story/3040

I’ve never been entirely clear on whether the Dark Gods should be considered evil or simply incomprehensible, morally uncategorizable - in any case, the unique nature of the Kids’ session seems to preclude an ordinary relationship with them. By all accounts they also seem perfectly happy to help Rose create the Green Sun as well, sowing the seeds that will grow into Lord English, their own murderer.

Whatever they’re up to is extremely unclear, and they mostly seem to be a wildcard. I’ll have to see if any of my Homestuck chums have thoughts about the Horrorterrors. With the exception of the Dream Bubbles and their ability to facilitate interaction between the living and the Dead, talking to the Horrorterrors seems to be at best an exercise in facilitating inevitable misfortune - they seem to be all but completely useless.

I suppose learning how to navigate the furthest ring comes in handy exactly once, since it enables the kids to fly to the Alpha’s universe.

https://homestuck.com/story/3043

Rose’s pessimistic dissatisfaction manifests in two ways during this conversation - the first is her contemplation of self-destruction. Along with her suicide mission, one of the very first things she mentions about Doc Scratch is that he wants to die - which clearly fascinates her. The other thing is that, suspicious of the version of truth that Skaia presents, and lacking an anchor, she is very easily swayed by characters who offer her an alternative truth.

https://homestuck.com/story/3045

It has just occurred to me that while Rose doesn’t do anything directly to harm her co-players the way that Vriska does, the main actual thing that they have in common, that I was having a hard time putting my finger on, is actually another parallel between the two of them and Aradia - by allowing themselves to be manipulated by forces of evil beyond human comprehension - Doc Scratch in particular - Rose and Vriska both make manifest all sorts of misfortune. In Aradia’s case, it’s her continuous manipulation by the voices of the dead.

Both of them create nearly all of their own problems, and while they’re at it, create immense amounts of suffering from other people who happen to be in the vicinity. And, according to the rules of the Alpha Timeline, both of them therefore give their assent to their misfortune. The Alpha Timeline is, of course, the same as the Glub Glub trap - if you refuse to participate, you are destroyed, but participation is horrible.

https://homestuck.com/story/3055

Couple things.

The first and most obvious is;

Monkey see, Monkey do.

We’re starting to see the fallout of Vriska’s attempts to acculturate Tavros - she’s tried to force a square peg into a round hole, and has had no luck. Tavros doesn’t fit her vision of an ideal troll, and he never will; that’s not the kind of person that he is.

The use of the word hero is what’s important here. Notice especially the way that he draws a line from physical fitness and personal worth - the ability to do important things that you want to do has become Tavros’ idea of how to self-actualize. He has internalized Vriska’s toxic ideas.

The other thing is that while Grandpa may not have literally committed suicide, but he is clearly emotionally checked out of life - playing Indiana Jones when he’s away from home, and interacting with fantasy women at his tea party, instead of engaging with his real life granddaughter.

Suicide’s a touchy subject, one which Homestuck touches on. As I’ve already said, I’m not going to touch on the Epilogues or HS^2, both of which also touch on the subject. It’s not a central theme, I don’t think, although either killing themselves or waiting around to die recur multiple times as possibilities in the minds of different characters, particularly the Lalondes and Striders. I’ll have more to say about each individual instance, but in both the insincere threat of suicide Rose uses in her early strife, and here in Act 5, the act of self-destruction is not motivated by despair, but by spite - for Rose, self-destruction would be an act to spite someone else who wants her to exist.

Grandpa Harley’s complete emotional absence from the life of his loved ones might be called a bit of emotional suicide. Checked out of personal reality completely to pursue a life of fantasy (and to facilitate Sburb), Grandpa Harley may as well have been dead from Jade’s perspective, even before he died.

https://homestuck.com/story/3056

The link between being a Hero Coolguy and Romantic (Reproductive) Success is drawn very neatly by Tavros, but because the premise is false, the conclusion is also false.

https://homestuck.com/story/3059

Vriska immediately calls attention to the way Tavros is parroting her behavior because of her influence - without all of the chest-beating and saber-rattling that Vriska does, the skillfully executed showmanship of being aloof and confident, there’s not that much difference between what Tavros tried to pull just now, and what Vriska has always done - even repeating her romantic faux-pas.

https://homestuck.com/story/3078

And we’ll pause here, before I get to another walkaround, which I will do tomorrow.

Not a lot that inspired me to talk in the 150 or so pages I got today. Lots of action in Act 5, but less emotional meat to dig into.

For now, it’s Cam signing off, alive but not alone.

[kob131]

RWBY V8 E7 Thoughts

-Getting LOTR flashbacks -Um....Ironwood...James. You uh....do remember Mt. Glenn right? -Elm, dude. Why would they lie to you about this? -Fuck, Penny is going in that thing to blow it up, ain’t she? -Salem, for once...STOP BEING CREEPY! -Yeah I’d be pseudo shitting myself too Emerald. -She’s scared of the Seer Grimm huh? -... Huh, we’ve...never actually seen what Salem told her underlings...have we? -Gotta say, seeing a woman you kill over and over again keep coming back no matter what you do...it would break a person. -I really don’t like how things get told to the audience. But personal experience has taught me that even this isn’t enough to get through people’s thick skulls. -Still love ya, Ozpin. -Oh Nora... -I’d worry about them too, Blake. -Guys you better not be wussing out now of all times. -I dunno, Silver Eyes and good ol’ fashion suicide bomb? -Mary...fucking hell, you have no tact. - Mary...you’re doing the same fucking shit Ironwood did. You REALLY think that your principles can just...change to suite yourself? -I fucking know Blake! She’s being a hypocritical bitch! - No...no Ruby, there are sides. I understand your point but when you drew that philosophical line, you say ‘I cannot co-operate’ and make your own side. -Hi, Whitely! -Oh ho ho, Great job you brilliant farm boy! You knew Hazel wouldn’t listen to Ozpin or his methods so you just give the info and let Hazel come to his own conclusion! -...Yeah, why would Mercury give a shit about all that? Nothing about him hints at anything beyond self preservation and it makes sense since he grew up in such a terrible situation. Why try making a move against someone who can’t be beat and might not even change anything? -God damn fucking Tyrian. His scenes give me the chills. -Ordinary joes ruling this episode I see! - It actually makes sense that Ren would speak up to that. After all, his dad taught him to act and help others even if it seems hopeless and that’s how he got Nora, a lifelong companion. -Also Harriet makes sense. After all, soldiers would lose each other on the front lines all the time, they can’t get hung up on loss or else they’d never accomplish anything. - .... ‘No one can be replaced’. That...had to hurt, Neath. -...*sigh* Conflicted is the epitome of my feelings about Ren’s part here. For reasons beyond even the show. I’ll talk about THAT latter. -Mary stop being another Ironwood- I do NOT sympathize with you AT ALL so i will call out your ass. -Klein....you sweet sweet man... -Whitely...you are not your father. -...You just had to end there huh, CRWBY? -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So about the Ren thing.

In the episode, we see from Ren’s point of view that he can spot what people are feeling. This kind of comes out of nowhere and wasn’t foreshadowed properly (my guess for the reasoning is that since Ren’s Semblance involves emotions, the writers think that it makes sense he can spot them too).

I have a noted dislike for when RWBY does this kind of stuff. I hate it when the show spells out what is going on, treating the audience like idiots as if we can’t pick up on the rather UNSUBTLE clues they leave.

...During this time, I did look up some of the negative reactions to the episode. I do this because I want to question what I think and try and see if I can find a flaw I normally wouldn’t see. That’s a big part of criticism for me. Instead I watched someone call Ren’s moment a ‘Deus Ex Machina’ (his moment here solves NOTHING), claim that Weiss only hugged her brother because ‘he proved his usefulness’ and act like this one moment was the only hint that Marrow and the other Ace Ops wouldn’t be complete bad guys (I don’t even need to SAY the number of hints the writers gave BEFORE this).

Believe it or not (I do not care), I don’t just dismiss any and all negative criticism. I’m actually far more dismissive of positive feedback (hence why I never feel the need to speak up). I only get dismissive when I see no attempt at understanding what the intention of the creator is. Because that intention defines the quality and standards of the media. As it should, since it means it helps the creator and allows any kind of story to be made. Thus dismissing it is tantamount to saying that things should only follow what YOU like, instead of what is best for the creator. 

It’d love to say that I don’t understand this scene or that it’s wrong to do this moment. But time after time after time after time after time again I repeatedly see criticism that is so ignorant of what the creators’ likely intend that it’d be insanity to assume stupidity and thus I assume malice. So what I see here is not bad writing, treating your audience like idiots: what i see is treating your audience EXACTLY as they present themselves, being as blatant as possible to ensure there is NO room for faking ignorance. And I can’t even blame them because I’ve seen it happen COUNTLESS times.

So I hate this moment...but I can’t condemn it because the people who call themselves critics set this with the creators: ‘We’re either idiots and need everything spoonfed to us like babies or assholes misinterpreting you for own desires.’ And this is a perfectly reasonable response to that.

[phantom-of-notre-dame]

Chapters: 1/5 Fandom: The Grinning Man - Philips & Teitler/Grose & Morris & Philips & Teitler/Grose, The Man Who Laughs (1928) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply              Characters: Grinpayne/Gwynplaine, Ursus (TGM), Osric (TGM)            Summary: A mlm retelling of The Grinning Man                                           Words: 2822

Here is chapter one of my first Grinning Man fic. I am very nervous about this, but I’m gonna take the leap. I’ll also post it under the cut. Enjoy!

“Father, tell me more about the capital.”

“What more is there to tell you, boy? It smells of piss and everyone there would beat you within an inch of your life and charge you for the pleasure.”

“I’m sorry, but it just seems so exciting. We’ve been doing the show for ages, and the Stokes-Croft Faire is the biggest fair in the land! We should have done this ages ago.”

“We won’t be staying long. Three or four days, really.”

“What? Father, but – why?”

“We’re so close to the new world, Grinpayne. Surely you’re anxious to get there.”

“Yes… yes, of course. But – don’t you think we could find answers here? About…” Nimble fingers lightly pressed the bandages on his cheek. Damn, I’ll have to change them soon.

“Let’s not worry about that, boy. We’ve made a fine life for ourselves. We must bury our pain.”

Grinpayne didn’t respond. Ursus had been saying the same thing for 20 years. He couldn’t remember the face of the man who cut him. It had been so close to him, but when the scene replayed in his nightmares, the face was blank, blanketed in shadow. Yet, Grinpayne could feel that the answers were close. Or maybe it’s just wishful thinking.

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“So, you’re the famous Grinning Man. Expected you to be… taller.” The Freak-Wrangler, who had introduced himself as Osric, briefly looked Grinpayne up and down. It wasn’t the first time the Grinning Man had gotten a comment like that. In an attempt to not focus on his carved face, they made some comment about his height. He was either too tall or not tall enough. He personally thought he was this side of too tall. Were he… normal, this would be his main insecurity. Huh, if only…

“This has been a fun chat, but are we clear to set up?” Despite spending his entire career in fairs and festivals, Ursus had very little tolerance for shenanigans.

“Alright, alright. You’re over in Lot 5. ‘Ere’s a map.” Osric thrust some papers in their general direction, already focused on something else. Grinpayne took them before they could fall in the mud.

Once the men had inspected the lot, they began setting up their cart. The Stokes-Croft Faire was not open to the public this early in the day, but there were still people bustling about, freaks of all sorts. Stokes-Croft truly had a wondrous collection. Unlike most of the fairs Grinpayne had performed at, everything and everyone seemed real. He couldn’t quite tell when he had developed an eye for it, but it was a game he liked to play.

The only attraction that interested him was the one across from his own. The Blind Seer. This one was new. He had seen many seers, and many tricks with the blind, of course. But never a combination of the two. He might go over and say hello.

Grinpayne’s face began to burn. It wasn’t bad enough to require Crimson Lethe, not yet. The concoction his father makes him doesn’t taste as bad as it used to. Or maybe it just takes 20 years to get to used to.

“Why don’t you look around, Grinpayne? We have a few hours to spare.” Ursus looked… distracted. He knew his father hated the capital, but how far did that hatred go? Grinpayne wasn’t going to argue, so he made his way to the seer’s stand. Who knows, maybe this blind seer was the real deal.

The tent was dark, the smells of incense strong. Not much in the way of originality.

“Hello?” Grinpayne called out.

“We’re closed.” A deep voice responded. The voice’s owner came into Grinpayne’s view. If he thought he was tall, this man was a giant. The glare presented to him proved that his man wasn’t a blind seer.

“Oh. No, forgive me, I just wanted… to say hello –”

“Augustine? Don’t be rude. Who’s there?” The second voice belonged to a second man, not nearly as gruff as the first.

“I’m Grinpayne. I’m set up just across the path… The Grinning Man?”

“Ah, yes. Osric said you’d be arriving today.” The seer finally appeared. The first thing Grinpayne noticed was the man’s white hair. It suits him.

“You’ll have to forgive Augustine. We’re still working on being kind to strangers. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Dominic.” He held out his hand a little too far Grinpayne’s left, but he accepted the handshake. It was difficult to tell in the dim lighting of the tent, but the younger man’s skin was as white as his hair. It still suited him.

“I’ve never come across a blind seer before. If you don’t mind my asking, how does your act work?”

“It’s… difficult to explain. I can hear thoughts. They float around people’s heads.”

“So, you can tell what I’m thinking right now?”

“Not exactly. It’s the deeper thoughts and feelings, the things people tend to hide.” Oh, this was a bad idea.

“It must seem like a bunch of nonsense, I know.” Dominic continued.

“No, it doesn’t. I’ve seen a lot of bizarre and outright ridiculous roadside attractions, but yours – makes sense. It’s not flashy.”

“You’ve seen so many?”

“I’ve been traveling for 20 years. I’ve seen enough to last a hundred lifetimes.”

“Hmm. I should like to travel. I’ve lived here my whole life. How come you’ve never come to Stokes-Croft before?”

“My father, Ursus, doesn’t like the capital..” Grinpayne had never met anyone as inquisitive as Dominic before. Everything in him was screaming to leave, to stop answering all these 

questions, but he found himself wanting to stay. There was something about Dominic that intrigued him, left him with a sinking-rock feeling in his stomach. But the feeling wasn’t entirely unpleasant. What the hell is happening to me?

“I… I should go,” Grinpayne muttered. He could also feel the nerves in his face begin to burn more.

“Of course,” Dominic replied, making his way to the table that sat at the back of the tent. “You should come by after the fair closes. Maybe I’ll read your palm.”

Grinpayne chuckled. “Su… Sure, yeah. Um, it was nice to meet you, both of you.” He spared a quick glance at Augustine, whose glare had remained just as sharp.

“Goodbye for now,” Dominic called with a smile as Grinpayne quickly exited the tent.

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“You’re back so quickly. What happened?” Ursus was busy mixing concoctions. On a good day, he could sell eight bottles.

“I, I need Crimson Lethe.” Grinpayne didn’t like drinking the medicine in public. It had led to too many questions before.

“Here.” Ursus dug the bottle out of his coat pocket and handed it to Grinpayne. “Take a little more than normal. I think we could do a couple of extra shows tonight.” Grinpayne nodded and swallowed capful after capful after capful until his face felt numb. With a relieved sigh, he put the bottle in his own pocket. Mojo slept in a corner.

“D’ya get a good look at the competition? Normally, I’m not worried, but this is the capital. We need to really stand out.”

“Not really. I think it helps that I’m a new attraction.”

“Then it’s a good thing we’re leaving before the novelty wears off.” Grinpayne was too numb to argue, but he still wanted to stay. He knew in his core that so much could be found here. There was something so familiar about the capital. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t been here before. Surely, he had… he… 

“Grinpayne, helped me unload the boxes. We have to make sure the marionette strings aren’t too tangled.” He would never admit it to Ursus, but he hated the puppet of him as a child. The eyes were too lifeless, too mocking. But the show must go on. Life must go on.

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The midnight bell signaled the close of the fair. Drunken stragglers, led by Osric, stumbled towards their homes. Or possibly another tavern, who really cares? Grinpayne was taking Mojo for a walk. The wolf had performed well, but he was smarter than most beasts. How else would the beast have led him to safety all those years ago?

Dominic’s tent came into view. Grinpayne knew he shouldn’t, but Dominic had invited him.

“What do you say, Mojo? Shall we say hello? Come on, you’ll like him.” With a click of Grinpayne’s tongue. The wolf followed the Grinning Man into the Blind Seer’s tent.

“Hello? Dominic? It’s Grinpayne.” There was some scuffling before Dominic’s shape came into view.

“Hello.” Grinpayne could just make out the shorter man’s bright hair, but he wasn’t going to complain.

“Is there someone else with you?” Dominic continued. “It almost sounds – like a dog.” Like others of his kind, Mojo was a heavy breather.

“Oh, it’s just my pet… wolf. His name is Mojo.” Who has a pet wolf? He must think I’m mad.

“That’s a nice name. Mojo… Oh God, you can’t see anything can you? Here, let me light a lamp.”

“Oh, really you don’t need to –” As Dominic placed a lamp on the table, he dug matches out of his pocket.

“Let me help.” Grinpayne knew Dominic wasn’t a child, but he didn’t want anyone getting hurt. The younger man’s hands were soft and surprisingly warm… and mesmerizing,

Grinpayne lit the lamp and was finally able to see Dominic clearly for the first time. His eyes were the lightest blue, and his cheekbones were sharp. If Grinpayne were the superstitious type, he’d wager that Dominic was some kind of fae. It would explain the … attraction Grinpayne felt, why he was drawn to this man. It couldn’t be anything else. Could it?

“So how did your show do? The first day is always the trickiest.”

“More people kept showing up as the night went on. I even think a prince, or a lord, or something came. And their reaction was… different than it usually is.”

“A good different, I hope.”

“I… I’m not sure yet. And you? Your night was successful?”

“Pretty average. About 100 people.”

“100 is average? You should tell me your secret.”

“Maybe. Or maybe not.”

Grinpayne chuckled dryly as he looked around the tent. Something was missing… Where…?

“Where’s your – friend?” Grinpayne’s words were beginning to slur.

“Oh, Augustine? He was just visiting when you came by this afternoon. Osric is always sending someone to check on me. He’s a little overprotective.”

“Is he your brother, or…?” 

“Practically. He saved me, when I was a baby. Have you eaten? I have some bread and cheese.” Who is this person? Grinpayne watched Dominic navigate the tent. The way his hands danced across the tabletops reminded Grinpayne of flowing water. A single pinprick of pain in the taller man’s cheek pulled him out of his head.

Dominic returned to where he had previously been sitting with a purple kerchief. When he untied it, the most delicious smells filled the air. Had Dominic offered food to be polite, it could he really sense how hungry Grinpayne had been?

“I just realized I never asked what your act is.”

“Oh, uh, my father and I… we do puppet shows. And he makes these, uh, potions. Cures for – everything. Colds, warts, once he made a potion to cure ingrown toenails.” Dominic’s laugh was so… him, clear and confident. Grinpayne nervously gnawed on the piece of bread he had been given.

“Puppets, huh? Tell me, what stories do you do?”

“None you would know. My father makes them all up.”

“What about The Grinning Man? That’s the name of your act, right?”

Grinpayne couldn’t be angry with him. He knew it would have come up eventually. He had been flirting with danger, and here they were. He wanted to run, but didn’t want to move.

“Um, it’s me. I’m the… Grinning Man.”

“Oh. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pried.”

“No, no it’s fine. I… I have a smile cut in my face.” Stop! What are you doing? Get out of here!

“I imagine it hurts terribly.” More pinpricks of pain.

“I’ve learned to manage it.” Dominic smiled in response.

“Is Mojo hungry? I think I could find him a piece of sausage.” The wolf had practically been asleep, but perked up at the mention of his name and the prospect of food. Dominic’s hands once again danced and Grinpayne was once again intrigued. Does he know how handsome he is? Surely someone’s told him.

“Tell me, in your travels, have… have you ever been to the coast?” The smaller man seemed almost embarrassed to be asking.

“Yes. Many times.”

“What’s it like? The ocean? Osric says it’s practically like the river, but that doesn’t seem right.”

“The ocean is… big. It can seem calm one moment and violent the next. And endless. Just ocean as far as the eye can see.” You idiot he can’t see! Dominic seemed to ignore the comment.

“You don’t like it?” Grinpayne wasn’t entirely sure if it was a question or a statement. But it further proved that Dominic’s gift was real.

“I’m… a little scared of it, to be honest.”

“That seems reasonable. Something so vast…”

Grinpayne had been so enraptured with Dominic and their conversation that he had forgotten that the pain returned until it was too much to ignore. He tried to stifle a cry of pain, but Dominic still heard him.

“Are you all right?”

“Y-yes, it’s just a twinge. I n– I need some of my medicine.” 

Grinpayne fumbled with his pockets searching for the little bottle, the one Ursus had made him take, but his hands couldn’t navigate the layers. Mojo, sensing his companion’s pain, sprung to attention. The wolf had been trained to retrieve the bottle whenever Grinpayne’s motor skills faltered. He gently grabbed the Crimson Lethe from where it lay in his master’s pocket and brought his jaw towards Grinpayne’s hands until the man was able to get his fingers around the glass. With shaking fingers, Grinpayne opened the bottle and downed half of it in a single gulp. The familiar wave of numbness spread, and the taller man breathed a sigh of relief.

Grinpayne was suddenly overcome with embarrassment and shame. Even though Dominic couldn’t see him, surely he could feel how vulnerable he had just been. The last thing Grinpayne wanted from Dominic was pity.

I’m… I’m sorry for that. I’m – usually more careful with taking my medicine.”

“I’m sorry, too,” Dominic replied. “I shouldn’t have been keeping you so long.”

“No!” Grinpayne cried. “You did nothing wrong. I like talking to you.”

“You’re good company to have, Grinpayne.” Dominic suddenly paused. His hands flexed repeatedly, his features focused.

“Is something the matter?” Grinpayne asked.

“Your thoughts were so loud before. And then they became so still… I’ve never heard thoughts quite like yours before. They scorch the air around you.”

“Is – that a good thing, or…?”

“It’s not good or bad. It’s just different, unique.” Dominic looked fascinated. Grinpayne turned his apparently scorching thoughts to the man across from him and how perplexed by him he found himself.

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The two men spent the rest of the night talking. Grinpayne decided to tell the story of the bride who ate so much salt on her wedding day that when she ended up crying tears of joy, her tears were so salty that they burned whatever surface they landed on. And the story of the girl with hands so soft and white like doves. They laughed at each other’s jokes. And Dominic told more about how Osric saved him from the snow and ice. Grinpayne felt at peace for the first time in a long time.

When Grinpayne and Mojo finally returned to their cart, the sun’s first rays were showing. Dominic had sent the pair off with more food and a dazzling smile. Grinpayne wouldn’t admit it, but he was a little starstruck. This man had brought out unfamiliar feelings, so unfamiliar that Grinpayne couldn’t put a name to them. The only feelings he could recognize were the pinpricks of pain returning.

“Where the hell were you, boy? I was worried sick!” Ursus grabbed his son’s collar, pulling him close in a fatherly embrace.

“I – I’m sorry. I was just across the path. The Blind Seer, remember?”

“Hmm. You were out all night with a blind man?”

“Yes,” Grinpayne replied incredulously. Did Ursus really not believe him?

“I’m sorry, my boy. I shouldn’t have lost my temper. It’s just… easy to get lost in the capital. I don’t want you in any harm, is all.” Grinpayne noticed how odd his father was acting. What is he hiding? Would Dominic be able to figure it out?

“Take your medicine and get some sleep. We have a full day of performances ahead.” Grinpayne drank the remainder of the bottle in his pocket and fell asleep almost instantly.

The “Grinning Man” dreamt of stormy oceans, the man with the hidden face, and of Dominic.

[rosepetals-flyingbirds]

Litany.

Pairing: Björn Ironside x Reader.

Warning: Fluff, smut… stereotyped young love?

Word Count: 4,482.

Litany-[lit-n-ee]: A ceremonial or liturgical form of prayer consisting of a series of invocations or supplications with responses that are the same for a number in succession.

(Gifs are not mine, credits to their owners.)

Y/N was a princess and the younger daughter of the Earl Rvan that people called The Bloody Bear since he had to kill three bears to proof to his parents that he was a true warrior and deserved his crown and earl’s title. 

The man was relative to Earl Horik and surprisingly was better than his dead cousin. He was fighting with another Earl and needed extra help, Björn and Halfdan had stepped into their lands and Rvan got surprised with the answer the gods had sent to his prayer.

He asked for help and Björn gladly accepted since he was missing the action and he desired the taste of a good battle. He had fought with Christians but nothing like Vikings versus Vikings to get a bloody battlefield. 

Björn fancied a fight where the warriors would use handmade armor, not fancy archery or fresh foreign armor. The old shield, sword, and axe was the best type of battle to every Viking.

                                           …

In the battle Rvan’s cousin had a bigger army, but Y/N had made a strategy and she knew they would win if they followed her instructions. The battle started and it was magnificent. Björn was smiling after every good movement with his sword, every man he had defeated brought a feeling of pride deep in his chest.

Halfdan was feeling like the young boy he had been years prior, he surely had lived great adventures but nothing like a Viking battle to make him feel like he deserved to belong to Valhalla aside all the gods.

Y/N fought with her heart and soul, her strategy of using a rope dipped in frog venom in the middle of the field has to succeed and a big number of men got cut in the middle by it when they ran to their reach and died agonizing because of the citric venom burning their skin wide open.

When the battle ended, Rvan got his enemy and grabbed his land to add on his own. His cousin begged for mercy but Rvan just sucked on his teeth and said. “You didn’t when you killed Y/N’s mother and tried to kill my daughter too.” Then he dragged the man to his lands where he would make a blood eagle ceremony.

When the night came, Rvan did the ceremony and his cousin died screaming, with that, losing his place in Valhalla.

Björn and Halfdan celebrated the after the battle on a big victorious feast and asked Y/N what her uncle had done to her mother and her.

“When she was pregnant he gave her a wine saying it was a blessing, but her shieldmaiden tried it first and died choking on her own saliva out of her mouth. He acted coy and said it was a gift from another man he had met. Then when I had born he sent two men to kill us, my mother must have sensed something since she placed me inside my sister's room and not on her own where I would stay. Then the men came and killed her, they tried to find me but they didn’t.” She said and felt a pinch of sadness, it was tough to grow up without her mother, but otherwise maybe if she was still alive she wouldn’t have grown in the middle of battles and Viking’s strategies.

Björn felt bad about her, he loved his mother with his entire life, must have been difficult to grow up without a mother and surrounded by sisters that were daughters of another woman. “I’m sorry.” He said truthfully and she nodded with a side smile.

The following hours were filled with victorious songs - which Halfdan knew a lot of - and dancing. Everyone was happy and couldn’t wait to take the new lands.

                                          …

On the day after Rvan had a talk with Björn where he said that he knew what the way Björn looked at his precious daughter meant, but he needed to know that Y/N was his best daughter, the one that truly cared about battles and being a true Viking.

Björn said he meant no harm toward her and if she agreed he would take her to his next adventures.

The bearded man smiled and said that she surely would have an exciting life, as the seer had told him once. And her skills and strategies would take her whenever she wished too.

He made the father talk and asked if Björn had any interest in his daughter. Björn said he surely thought Y/N was beautiful and smart, but he didn’t want to intrude on her life or make an arrangement where she didn’t feel comfortable in. “Björn our ancestors took this land, and it has been strengthened with our blood and bone. But all of this just became possible with the help of women and men side by side. And if Y/N agree to marry you, I would love to have you as my son in law.”

                                                    …

The days passed and Björn didn’t want to leave the lands. He talked more and more with Y/N and thought about a proposal, but he didn’t want to be taken down. Other men had asked her, she never had accepted. 

They shared stories and crazy childhood tales. Being the younger child of a famous man was rough, especially when she had grown up surrounded by four sisters who always called her a freak. In one cloudy day, Y/N went swimming in a lake close to her father’s lands, it was still on his part but was tranquil.

She looked around stripping out of her clothes and entered the cold water. She swam around and stood up to let the water cascade on her form. When she did so her breast was on full display as all the rest of her beautiful body. She turned around to look at the trees but saw a sword close to a rock, not her sword.

Björn was thinking about his parents’ stories and advises, he thought about everything he got trough and how he received the name IronSide, he has his eyes closed and prayed to Thor to help him in the future battles, prayed to enlighten too. He loved his brothers but it was like he couldn’t be himself around them, like he needed to pay attention all the time to his younger siblings rather than be a ruthless Viking.

He sent the last pray the one he always sends in the last part, the one where he asks the gods for someone good for him, someone where he can be himself and conquer lands with. 

He opened his eyes ready to go back to the settlement and maybe celebrate the following days. But when he opened his eyes he saw Y/N’s naked body inside the lake. The vision was somehow erogenous and surprising, he surely wasn’t expecting to open his eyes after a pray and encounter a naked woman. The vision was somehow an erotic confirmation.

Or maybe that was the reply to his prayer, maybe Y/N was the woman he had sought his whole life, someone, that would complete him. Of course, he had his fun but the first girl he had ‘fall in love’ left him and after that he took another in marriage even though he didn’t love her, he did so because he wanted to make some justice since his father had killed her husband and left her alone with a stupid boy.

Y/N was, by all means, strong and oh so smart with her strategies and battle skills. He surely thought she was beautiful, but now looking at her adorned with nothing but water on her made him feel like she was the most precious thing ever. Like a goddess he would dream about while he was a simple kid. Could she be a Valkyrie?

Y/N almost jumped out of her skin when she saw Björn sat in front of the lake. She hadn’t seen him there before but it was understandable since he was near a hidden part. She dove into the water and swam away startled. She wasn’t scared about Björn but because he had seen her naked body and no one had before. Besides she didn’t allow it, so the thought alone frightened her.

She stood up and dressed her clothes posthaste. Björn came throughout the trees. “Y/N I’m sorry I swear I wasn’t spying or following you.” He said.

She made sure the tunic covered everything and dressed her pants. “Yeah,” She said not believing in him, he is a man after all.

“Listen, I was praying and I had my eyes closed and then I opened them and you were just there.” His words were truthful, she took a deep breath and looked at him, he surely seemed innocent.

She thought about it and it must be true, for the first time she didn’t make sure the place was safe. “It’s okay, I mean I always make sure everywhere near is safe I think I was so deep in my thoughts that I didn’t pay the proper attention.”

She placed her whole clothes, not caring that she didn’t dry her body under. Björn nodded and gave a few steps away, but he stopped his tracks and looked at her. “Why you didn’t get the wedding proposals Rvan told us you received?”

She started to walk back to the city with him escorting her. “Why are you asking?” Björn just shrugged. She grabbed her sword and placed it in the holster around her waist. “I don’t want to be married out of policy or lands union. I know it’s stupid but if I’m not with someone that will be with me throughout everything, why the point of marriage?”

He pondered about her answer and grinned, it was exactly what he wanted. “What about the other Earl’s and Princes?”

“I don’t know,” She bit her lip in deep thinking. “I think none of them got my attention, can I tell you a secret Björn Ironside?” He nodded. “Men tend to see a woman and think she is the must magnify thing they had ever wanted, they woo her and promise countless things. They promise lands, riches, love, attention and power.

But from the moment she agrees with them, they stop all the caress and take her for granted. And they surely will find another woman and to all the same things while the first victim is at home surrounded by children.” He paid close attention to her words.

“I can’t disagree with that. But you don’t believe the Gods had planned someone perfect for you? A man that will be by your side just in the way you want him to?”

“I think the Gods have bigger problems than worry about love affairs, dear Björn.”

“Well, I assure you that I would love to be present on the day a lucky bastard will marry you.” He said and kissed her hand. She knew that move to well, but Björn’s company made her happy and somehow safe.

The next hours it was joyful around the feast Rvan was throwing. The place had a happy aura and it looked like everyone was enjoying themselves. Y/N were using a beautiful black dress in which Björn swore he had never seen the same fabric before. He and his friend Halfdan were explaining how the Mediterranean is and everyone got surprised of how different those places might be. Since before Ragnar, the Vikings didn’t believe it has any other land after where the seawater could touch.

Y/N sat at the table and paid attention to the conversation, it was comfortably adorable how Björn and Halfdan talked with so much passion on their voices.

“Maybe one day you can take Y/N there with you, she adores travel and meet new places,” Rvan said and Y/N knew he meant something more than travel.

“Father don’t ask things without my consent.” She said.

Rvan laughed. “Oh come on, I’m not saying for him ask you in marriage, my daughter, I’m only saying that because I know you adore meet new places and would love to travel and fight in foreign lands.”

Halfdan looked at Björn whose surprisingly was blushing. “We would love to take her on our adventures if something after our battle yesterday proved something it was that she can take care of herself.” He announced.

Y/N smiled and felt proud, of course, she knew that herself acknowledged how to fight but hearing someone of elsewhere say it made her feel proud of all the years of training she had endured. A title of the princess can lead people to think she is spoiled or weak but it wasn’t like that.

Her sisters never understood why she wanted to fight so much, actually it had a rumor that the younger daughter of Rvan The Bloody Bear didn’t like men and referred women. It was a futile rumor which hadn’t bothered her so much. If people wanted to believe she didn’t like the simple-minded men that lived on her father’s lands or liked to fight because she liked women romantically, Y/N didn’t mind. All she ever wanted was to sail away and start a life of adventure and maybe find someone that would make her time justice.

                                                   …

The day after Björn and Y/N walked around the area and both had a great time, Y/N told him stories about each area they went on and Björn swore he could hear her voice forever, they laughed and even took some food to make a small picnic. At the end of the day they were making out complete in touch with each other.  

Björn had said all he felt and apologized if it was too rushy or if she would doubt his sincerity since she was the reason so many men wanted to be on her father’s lands. She just smiled and told him he was specifically what she had asked the Gods for so long, he said she was his answer too. She was, by all means, the best response he would ever pray for.

One of the Rvan’s men came looking for her saying her father was worried she was out for too long. She groaned and left the place.

Björn was sad about the absence of her mouth and body against his own, but he understood she wasn’t just some woman he would lay with and then leave, as it awful it sounded: she was different.

When she got back to her place she made sure to make all of her duties with her father and then sent someone to tell Björn she wanted him at a small cabin west of the great hall. He smiled and nodded he couldn’t wait to go there and be in her presence again.

He walked to the cabin and when he entered Y/N was there fidgeting with her fingers. When he saw him she became nervous. Björn was strong and had met other women earlier in his life, Y/N was just a young woman that had never been touched before. She was scared that it would hurt as her sisters had always told or if he would leave her after they did so.

Björn was surprisingly nervous too.

She looked around the place trying to control her nerves. “This is my safe place.” He looked around seeing some flowers and plant branches. A few candles and the fireplace. He nodded and walked closer to her reach. “I’m nervous.” She said.

“You don’t have to be, I will treat you like the princess you are. But if you had changed your mind I completely understand.” He said truthfully looking into her eyes, each step closer to her.

Y/N smiled at his words, glad to know he respects her enough. But she needed this, she needed the man she had prayed the Gods. The man the seer had seen hundreds of moons ago. “I want that, us.” She said in a calm voice with a smile on her angelical features.

Björn kneeled in front of her, he comprehends how important it would be for her to make sure both were equal. She glanced at him wondering why he was in such a position. He touched her kneecaps and let his hand caress the area around, he looked at her and she gasped at the feeling of his firmly warm hands on her skin. He moved her dress away from her thighs and kissed there.

She touched his neck and pulled it making him search her mouth, the kiss was tender. Now his hands touched her hips and grabbed her up while he stands, she placed her legs around his waist and kissed his mouth with more fever.

He turned around and sat at the end of the bed where she was sat previously, she felt something in his leather breeches and smiled knowing it was his hard prick waiting for her. Björn bite her lower lip and started to leave kisses on her neck, she moaned and he felt like he had joined Valhalla somehow hearing those sweet sounds.

He laid in bed with her above him, she adjusted her dress but he got impatience and stripped it out of her. The sight was just as he had witnessed the day prior but now it wasn’t water kissing her skin it was the yellow shade of flames that were burning on the fireplace. She must have felt uncomfortable since he was staring and soundless, she moved her arms and covered her breast. “Please don’t.” He said and moved so he could sit in the middle of the bed. He kissed her collarbone and above each of her breasts. “You’re so beautiful.” He said between kisses, his hands moving to her hips toward her ass.

“I’m at a disadvantage.” She murmured trying to pull his tunic shirt off of him, desiring to feel his heated bare skin against her own.

He did so removing it, while he used his arms to pull the fabric off she touched his chest completely amazed but every inch of skin and every scar that embellished there. He discarded the tunic at the floor and grabbed her head and pulling her lips against his own. “Björn.” She moaned.

He moved their bodies so he would be above her. Her hair was splattered in the soft furs of the pillows, her nipples perky asking for attention.

He kissed her neck and made a kiss trial up her earlobe, she moaned and imperceptibly placed one of her legs around his waist, soaking wet his breeches with her wetness in the process.

He looked down feeling how she was softly grinding in his legs searching for friction. He smiled and kissed her mouth again. She moaned how good it felt when he moved his leg. He sat on the bed and took the breeches off and slid down kissing her legs until he met her crotch and kissed the area around. “Is that your first time?” He asked between kisses and little sucks on her thighs.

She just nodded biting her lip and placed her hand on his head, he murmured in the thought of being the first man to please her, and if the Gods bless him enough he will surely be the last.

After Björn’s ministrations that let the poor girl gasping for air, he decided to finish the deed. He got his hard prick in his hand and played on her labia making she whimper out of the sensitive. Björn as every Viking got an insatiable desire and was used to grab his women and fuck them into oblivious really roughly, but Y/N is special and he didn’t want to her first time be rough. Once he heard some slaves complaining about how men were a lot ignorant and he didn’t want his wife-to-be with that idea.

“Björn, please… do something.” She said and squeezed his back muscles trying to feel a piece of him. “Be gentle.” She groaned.

He nodded and entered his warm member insider her wet cunt he stood unmovable pinning her underneath him trying to make her get used to his size, he groaned and tried to think about anything else than her warm walls squeezing him, it was her first time, he didn’t want to cum before her. He moved inch by inch until he filled his entire cock inside her. “That is love, it’s all of me.” He said in a raspy voice and kissed her neck.

Y/N was shocked about how it felt and also was in a bit of pain, his kisses helped her a little and when he started to move his hips even so slowly the pain started to subsidize.

A few minutes passed until the pain was replaced by pure pleasure, something so good that she cursed the Gods for not sending Björn sooner to her life.

Björn was lightheaded by the overwhelmed feeling of her squeezing him, he didn’t recall feeling such a pleasure before.

Minutes passed and kisses, bites, moans filled the place. Their bodies starting to sweat if it wasn’t so cold outside, the pace was faster and Björn’s hips were slamming against her.

“Oh Y/N.” He moaned, she started to feel something on her belly and that was splattering to all her body. “You’re squeezing me so good love.” He moaned, his hand left her hip and enters in between their bodies and he started to make circles on her clit, he just saw how weak it had made her when his mouth was pleasuring her that he thought that just maybe doing that he would increase her pleasure. She moaned and bit his shoulder to contain her screams. Björn liked the feeling of her marking him and felt his own release coming, he took it off rather fast and coated her belly with his cum, white ribbons splattered on her delicate skin.

Both stood there laid and regaining their breaths. Björn moved his body and propped his weight on his elbow, his other hand going to caress her flushed cheek. “Dear Y/N.”

She smiled and kissed his palm effectively. He looked at her belly and stood up to grab a fabric and clean her up.

He opened her legs starting there to clean her juices and the blood droplets it had appeared when he broke her hymen. He turned the fabric to the other side and cleaned his release out of her belly.

He stood up and cleaned his own prick and throw the fabric somewhere in the room. He laid by her side facing her and couldn’t stop to caress her beautiful hair. “Will you marry me Y/N? Will you be my partner in adventures, travels, battles? The good and the bad times?”

She smiled and bit her lower lip. “Yes Björn Ragnarson, I will marry you.” She said and he smiled with an ear to ear smile, he kissed her with passion and when he realized she was on top of him. She felt his prick straying to harden. “Not today love, I don’t believe I can do again.”

“Don’t worry wife, we will have our whole life ahead.” He said with a sparkle in his blue eyes.

She looked at him surprised by the name, it sort of fits her for him. Not for anyone else, just for him. “Wife? We aren’t even married yet.” She placed her head on his chest and interlaced her arms on his torso, caging him. “Actually I had heard so many stories of pretty men that come to foreign lands conquering young girl’s hearts and leaving them pregnant.” She laughed. “But you asked me in marriage afterward so I guess I can’t be titled as one of these poor ladies.” She said but her heart worries about the idea of waking up and Björn be away.

“You sure can’t.” He assured and kissed her head. “And besides I didn’t seed you so you won’t get a baby in a few moons. I mean, not now at least.”

“So are we talking about a child now?”

“Of course, I see my children in your eyes, love.” He said truthfully.

“You already had children, don’t you? With another woman.”

He nodded. “I do, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to mine with you. And I know it must be hard to be with someone that already have children but I can’t ignore them.”

“I would never ask that. A man that doesn’t love their children can never be a real man.” She said and he felt a relief with her words. “Okay sir, but before we need to talk with father and well… see if he will manage to survive without me here.” She said and started to worry.

“I have a feeling that your father will agree with this marriage, and you don’t have to stay here for him, you need to live your own life. And I will be flattered if you allow me to be by your side.”

“Of course I allow that,” She said and kissed the side of his mouth. “But don’t get surprised when you realize I’m a better warrior than you.” She said and he shook his head.

“Is that so?” He started to tickle her. It got on until she was crying of so much laughter and desperation. He pinned her body and kissed her temple. “If we are such good warriors and Vikings, I can only believe we will have a huge path ahead of us.”

“We surely will.” She said and caresses his face. “We will be unbeatable!”

“We will conquer the world, my love, together.” He kissed her and spent the night embracing her. Finally feeling like he found someone he could be himself and conquer his dreams with, well, their dreams side by side. Definitely an answer from all the prayers he had made to the Gods. Somehow an answer to his litany.

                                                       …