#he’s not even maxed out yet ☠️

[limboraptor]

This is why you invest in Captain Caviar

[tinyowlthoughts]

The EC-Theobromine: Bluffing

There were many risks to exploring uncharted space. Unknown blackholes, near-invisible debris fields, hostile civilizations that had achieved space travel but had not yet been contacted by the Intergalactic Governing Body, pirates.

So. Many. Pirates.

Taurvin wasn't a big fan of pirates. Sure, he understood some of their motives - there were those who stole from the rich to give to the poor, or who attacked species intent on slavery and sapient experimentation to rescue the victims. But the majority were just, well.

To use a phrase from his new navigator, they were straight-up assholes.

And unfortunately, his ship was currently taken over by said assholes.

Five of them, to be precise. Normally his crew of nine could handle themself, especially with Lenzoill handling their security, but the bastards had taken them by surprise and used a blaster to Elaana's head to get them to cooperate. So there they were, eight of the best deep-space explorers the Intergalactic Exploration Committee had, kneeling (or the equivalent) before the pirates, limbs pinned behind them with cuffs, completely disarmed. 

Wait.

Ignoring the monologuing pirate captain, Taurvin glanced at his crewmates on either side and counted. Eight. Gorvan and Elaana to his left, Epitak and Dhaca to his right, Lenzoill and Quals slightly behind them, the former knocked out and leaning against the couch, while Ir'ith (who had mouthed off when they yanked out a handful of his feathers) glared daggers from the other side of the room. He'd been trussed up like a zagtul and was gagged, though that was doing little to stymie his attempts at cursing the pirates out. The one guarding him looked more amused than anything, which was likely the only reason the zad was still conscious. 

Still, that only came up to eight. Where was Max?

☠️🏴‍☠️☠️🏴‍☠☠️🏴‍☠️☠️🏴‍☠️☠️🏴‍☠️☠️🏴‍☠️☠️🏴‍☠️☠️🏴‍☠️☠️

Az was having an absolutely stellar day. His crew was meeting expectations, his first mate was being competent for once (even if he hadn't knocked that huffing, cursing zad out yet), and the IEC ship was theirs to plunder. Not that there would be much beyond rations - these types of ships weren't the goldmines the Elite Star Cruises were, but they always had some type of laboratory equipment on board that would fetch a good price on the blackmarket. All in all, a good catch, and not a drop of bodily fluid spilt!

"Uh, did I miss an email?" 

Every head in the room swiveled towards the large doors that led to the halls, revealing a ninth crewmember they had missed. It was upright, bipedal, with two legs and two arms, and a head with fluffy hair. It was wearing standard-issue IEC sleeping garments, down to the slippers, though there was a belt loosely thrown around its waist, a blaster in the holster at its side. As they watched, it opened its mouth wide. At first Az thought it was some kind of threat display, until it stretched its arms over its head and arched its back. A yawn - had the simpleton been sleeping while they captured its crewmates? Pitiful. 

"You," Az motioned to one of his crewmates - he couldn't remember her name - "Tie it up with the others."

"Yes sir." Crewmate nodded, reaching for the extra cuffs hanging from her belt. 

The newcomer scratched at its head as she approached. "What, not going to ask me to dinner first?" It pressed its hands to its hips and leaned back, creating a horrible cracking noise that shot through the room like thunder. The pirates winced, as did some of the hostages. "I keep telling them not to do that," muttered the captured Lepidae, her antennae curling tight in annoyance. 

Crewmate hesitated, glancing back at Az. Surely a motion that produced a noise like that should have broken its back? But the creature seemed fine, now swinging one arm across their chest, caught in the bend of the other, apparently - stretching? They switched arms, seeming to bounce a bit as they moved, and Az gave her an impatient glare. He didn't know what creature this was, nor did he care - it was an obstacle, and needed to be dealt with.

In the second they had taken their gaze off it, the interloper had drawn their blaster. It was unlike anything Az had seen before, made of some kind of blue metal - perhaps cobalt? Vanadium? - with brighter markings painted along the sides. The barrel was blocked by some kind of disc - he couldn't see down it for a projectile, nor could he see any kind of energy-concentrating device for a laser. A type of deterrent ammo, perhaps? One not made to kill, but instead drive away? Little good that would do - they had already captured the ship.

"I've gotta say, I'm not really a fan of how you're treating my friends." It bounced a bit on its heels. "Then again, this gives me an opportunity to use the latest in human technology!" It waved the blaster a bit, and Az felt his internal organs shudder. Human technology? He'd never met a human himself, but he'd heard of them. Great, hulking beasts woven of dense muscle, with teeth able to tear through flesh and bone and a penchant for destroying first and never asking questions. How did this scrawny thing get its hands on a human weapon?

Before Az could demand the crewmate take care of the bipedal thing, it fired. The projectile was not particularly fast, but it was silent - no hum of energy or blast of the more primitive explosive some species favored. A near-silent click, and then Crewmate screamed and ducked away. They hadn't been shot, however - the projectile had hit Az. Right in the chest. The disc had attached to his armor, and there was a long, thin rod sticking out of it. He reached up to snatch it off, but a 'tut' sound from the interloper had him freezing.

"Don't touch it," the bipedal advised, still holding the blaster as it gesticulated. "Skin contact with the probe will make it work faster."

"Work?" His first mate asked with a strangled sound. The zad at his feet had gone silent, and was looking between Az's face and the probe attached to his chestplate with wide eyes. With so much of his beak and face covered by the gag the captain couldn't make out his expression, but he assumed it was terror - identical to his first mates. 

"Mmhmm." The interloper beamed, looking proud of itself. "The disc - the part attached to your armor there? - is reading and calculating the material makeup of your form. Then, when it's settled on what will be most painful, the foam will be atomically altered into the most effective acid for destroying you and then be injected into your torso - or whatever fleshy part is closest - and eat you from the inside." It was still bouncing on its heels, looking excited. "I've never seen it happen in person, do you mind if I take notes?"

Az didn't respond - he was frozen, staring down at the probe sticking out of his chest, terror curling in his chest. This was what the humans were up to? Creating biological acid weapons? No wonder they were so widely feared! "Crewmate, remove it!" He turned to the woman, only to find her with her backing up, hands raised, cuffs clattering to the floor.

"N-no way! I don't wanna be digested!" She gasped. Az turned to his first mate, who had lost the usual green flush to his face and backed away as well. 

"If you really want to get it off, you'll need some really strong pliers. And probably some anesthetic. It'll be painful - you can't feel it, but the probe's wires have already drilled through your chest plate and into your skin. They're made to be sneaky," it waved the blaster. Az glanced back down at the probe and grimaced. The thing sounded outlandish, but the interloper spoke with such conviction that he couldn't doubt it. And there were more of the probes - he could see them in a clip attached to the blaster.

The interloper tapped his chin with the blaster. "We don't have anything strong enough on board, but-"

"Fall back to the ship." Az snapped, all seven hearts racing in his chest. His crew didn't argue, falling in line at his side. They stared at the interloper, who took a step to the side, leaving the door open. It didn't point the blaster at them, but kept it in hand, watching them carefully as they rushed out, heading towards the docking port. 

When Az glanced behind them, he saw it following at a leisurely pace, blaster still in hand. Not wanting to get a second probe to his back, he practically threw his crewmates into their ship and set about undocking and getting as far from the cursed ship as possible. 

It was not a good day. 

☠️🏴‍☠️☠️🏴‍☠☠️🏴‍☠️☠️🏴‍☠️☠️🏴‍☠️☠️🏴‍☠️☠️🏴‍☠️☠️🏴‍☠️☠️

Ir'ith was losing his gods damned mind. He fell onto his side, cackling and wheezing, fighting against the gag to get enough air to keep up the laughter. The ship shuddered as the pirates undocked, then Max was standing in the doorway, looking exhausted. 

"Max! Are you unharmed?" Taurvin demanded, using Gorvan to lever himself to his feet. It was a bit awkward with his hands cuffed behind his back, but he managed to stumble to the human. 

"I'm fine." The navigator waved him off with the hand still holding the blaster. Taurvin flinched back, not wanting to come into contact with one of the probes, which set Ir'ith off into another gale of muffled laughter. Max rolled their eyes and, before Taurvin could stop them, pointed the blaster at the zad and fired several rounds. The probe's bright-orange discs hit and stuck to Ir'ith's uniform, and one hit the bit of his beak that wasn't covered, giving him a blue growth in the middle of his face.

"No! Max, how could you?" Elaana cried, struggling frantically against her cuffs. "Don't worry Ir, I'll be right there! We can save you." 

"Wait, did he get hurt?" Max stuck the blaster in its holster and hurried over to Ir'ith before Taurvin could stop him. The human dropped to their knees and helped the still wheezing zad sit up before pulling off the gag. 

"I'm fine!" Ir'ith reassured the others. "The darts don't do shit, stop worrying." He turned slightly so Max could fiddle with the cuffs around his wrists. They were an older model, nice and rusty the way pirates liked it, and only required two buttons being pressed at the same time to release. It took a bit of effort, but then the zad was freely rubbing his wrists. 

"But Max said it was a new human weapon!" Epitak accused, wings fluffing up and hitting Dhaca in the face. The snallygaster, being only three feet tall, was knocked over on his tail. 

"Oh, the probe stuff?" Max reached out and plucked one of said probes from Ir'ith's chest. "This is just plastic and foam - no technology at all." They wiggled the probe in their fingers, then stuck it to Ir'ith's beak, giving him two blue horns now. Elaana made a worried squeak, but didn't protest when the cook didn't show any ill signs. 

Max moved to help Taurvin with his cuffs. Once the captain had his two arms free, he had to ask, "Max, what exactly is that weapon?"

The human grinned, pulling the blaster from their belt and wiggling it. "This? It's Nerf, or nothin'." 

EC Theobromine Character & World Building Notes

EC Theobromine: Chocolate

[thegayhimbo]

Stranger Things Hawkins Horrors Review

If you haven’t yet, be sure to check out my other Stranger Things Reviews. Like, Reblog, and let me know what your thoughts are regarding the show or the upcoming season! :)

Stranger Things Comics/Graphic Novels:

Stranger Things Six

Stranger Things Halloween Special

Stranger Things The Other Side

Stranger Things Zombie Boys

Stranger Things The Bully

Stranger Things Winter Special

Stranger Things Tomb of Ybwen

Stranger Things Into The Fire

Stranger Things Science Camp

Stranger Things “The Game Master” and “Erica’s Quest”

Stranger Things and Dungeons and Dragons

Stranger Things Kamchatka

Stranger Things Erica The Great

Stranger Things “Creature Feature” and “Summer Special”

Stranger Things Tie-In Books:

Stranger Things Suspicious Minds

Stranger Things Runaway Max (Part 1 of 3)

Stranger Things Runaway Max (Part 2 of 3)

Stranger Things Runaway Max (Part 3 of 3)

Stranger Things Darkness On The Edge Of Town (Part 1 of 3)

Stranger Things Darkness On The Edge Of Town (Part 2 of 3)

Stranger Things Darkness On The Edge Of Town (Part 3 of 3)

Stranger Things Rebel Robin Book and Podcast (Part 1 of 2)

Stranger Things Rebel Robin Book and Podcast (Part 2 of 2)

Synopsis: Set between seasons 3 and 4, Mike, Dustin, Lucas, Max, Erica, Nancy, Robin, and Steve are all trapped inside in the Video Rental Store after the power goes out on a dark and stormy night. With nothing better to do to pass the time, they begin telling each other scary stories and urban legends surrounding Hawkins......

Observations:

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!!!! 🎃☠️👻🍫

This'll be a shorter review than usual since this was a fast read, but man this book was a lot of fun! The premise itself (i.e. certain main characters from the show trapped in the same location interacting with one another) is worthy of an entire episode from the show, and it's disappointing that Netflix and the Duffer Brothers never thought to film a stand-alone Halloween or Christmas or Holiday Episode (similar to what BBC Sherlock did). Even if it didn't tie into the mythology of the show, just seeing certain characters converse with one another when they barely do on the show would have been something I (and plenty of other fans) would have sat through.

The premise of this book is similar to the short Halloween Special comic I reviewed several months ago (you can find the link to it above), except that was set before season 1 and only featured one scary story told by Will to his friends. By contrast, this book takes place in-between seasons 3 and 4 after Steve and Robin get the job at the Video Rental Store, the Byers Family and El have moved to Lenora (meaning they aren't in this book), and each of the characters here get to tell their creepy tales.

The structure for Hawkins Horrors is similar to horror anthology series like The Twilight Zone, Creepshow, and Tales from the Crypt. It also reminded me a little of the Goosebumps series R.L. Stine wrote in the 90s. The big difference is while Goosebumps was tailored towards kids and had elements of comedy to balance out the horror, the stories told by the characters in Hawkins Horrors get pretty dark and gruesome, and some of them even end on chilling notes. This is not a feel-good book.

Each of the stories are urban legends surrounding Hawkins that the characters either insist are true (even though it's implied they aren't), or at the very least have some details tweaked. What's neat is, if you pay close attention, some of the urban legends told are similar to other famous horror stories, and arguably paying homage to them. Robin and Steve's story about the monster under Lover's Lake is the premise of Stephen King's "The Raft." Erica's story is similar to the plot of Alfred Hitchcock's Rear Window (right down to the protagonist in a wheelchair seeing something he shouldn't have) except the climax takes a horrifying turn and the ending is ambiguous about the protagonist's survival. Mike's story comes off as a combination of Child's Play and The Twilight Zone episode "Living Doll." Matthew J. Gilbert wrote this book, and it's pretty clear he's a major horror fan. I wouldn't be surprised if he took inspiration for some of these anthology stories from other famous ones, and brought the Stranger Things charm to them.

On top of that, the book acts as clever foreshadowing for certain events in relation to certain characters in season 4. Nancy's horror story takes place at Pennhurst Asylum, where she will later go with Robin to learn about Victor Creel and what happened to his family. Steve's story about the monster under Lover's Lake hints at how he'll eventually gets dragged through the lake into the Upside Down:

Dustin's story is centered around D&D, and even references the Hellfire Club and Eddie (though Eddie is just referred to as "The Dungeon Master" at this point). Even Erica's story, about the only sane person who tries to warn others about how dangerous someone else is, has parallels to her being the only one at the town hall meeting in season 4 who stands up to Jason and calls bullshit on his attempts to paint the Hellfire Club as a Satanic cult.........only to get dismissed when most of the adults in the room agree with Jason and turn into a lynch mob as a result.

Hawkins Horrors was released on May 3, 2022, a few weeks before the first volume of Season 4 was dropped. I would not be surprised if Netflix and the Duffer Brothers told Matthew J. Gilbert plot elements from season 4, and gave him permission to subtly reference (but not completely spoil) said plot points. Even though I saw the show before I read this book, I still enjoyed the foreshadowing. Well played! :)

The stories were entertaining, but I was more invested in the interactions between the characters. Two of my favorite moments are at the beginning of the book, and towards the end when Mike starts telling his tale. The first is this interaction when everyone shows up minutes before the Video Rental Store closes, much to the annoyance of Steve:

Then there's this fun bit where Mike trolls everyone while the storm is raging and the power is out 😂:

It's also pretty amusing when one character tries to tell their story, and the others either question if it actually happened, starts poking holes in it (much to the irritation of the character telling their story), or even calling out when, from their perspective, the tale has a lousy ending:

It's interactions like this that make the book enjoyable. I'm glad we get to have most of the characters hanging out as friends without there being a crisis from the Upside Down that they have to deal with.

Overall, this was an entertaining read, and a fast-paced book. High recommendations to check it out when you can!

And once again, Happy Halloween everyone!

[wench-and-jezebel]

Dark Angel Reactions: Bonus Content!

We had some time to kill before the next episode --- Art Attack --- so we decided to play a little game... Wench (@scripted-downfall) sent random photos of either Alec or Ben in a shuffled order, and Jezebel (@typicalopposite) guessed which was which. The results:

Wench: First up:

Jezebel: Ben

Wench: Cha-ching!

Jezebel: Hmmmmm…. Alec?

Wench: Yup! :) Well, more or less, but yep!

Jezebel: Ooooof ummm Alec

Wench: Yes

Jezebel: Mmmmmben?

Wench: Damn! But yes.

Jezebel: Alec! But Maxs hair is a giveaway too

Wench: Oof, that's fair (Also... this one might not be fair, I admit)

Jezebel: 🤔🤔🤔 Alec

Wench: Damn, woman! Yes. (I am running out; there is an end in sight. But we're not quiteee there yet)

Jezebel: This one I really have no clue. Ben

Wench: Yes. Also... just for funzies, a random side profile

Jezebel: Ooooof on this one’s the hardest. Maybe Ben again

Wench: Yup

Jezebel: Mmmmm Ben.

Wench: Yes

Jezebel: Alec

Wench: Yup

Jezebel: Alec

Wench: 'Tis right! I think I've got like. Two more each btw. Maybe.

Jezebel: Ben

Wench: Yes! And I have to send this one because jackles in a confessional is SPN-coded

Jezebel: Sooo still Ben 🤣 (Just cause he was in a church)

Wench: ladsjflkajdflkadsjf Oh, and Jackles wiping his hands with a red rag is also SPN-coded so this is obligatory too

Jezebel: Ben

Wench: Ma'am your record is astounding

Jezebel: Alec

Jezebel: Alec

Jezebel: Ben

Jezebel: Oh shit... Ermmmmm Ben?

Wench: Alas, tis Alec

Jezebel: Dern! 🤣🤣🤣

Jezebel: 🙂 Ben. But you know the biggest give-away?

Wench: Do tell

Jezebel: S1 is more warm-toned; S2 is like grayish. Or cool-toned.

Wench: Oh, that's fair

Jezebel: Ben

Wench: Oop- dang, I thought I was possibly gonna fool you with that one ('cause it's lighter)

Jezebel: This one I’m going off his jacket ☠️☠️ And her hair

Jezebel: *squints* bbbben?

Wench: Yeah!

Jezebel: Them brows are on fleek tho! ☠️☠️☠️ ack I can’t even believe I said that

Jezebel: Alec

Wench: Yep! Okay, I lied, three more photos BUT. Two are together. So. Which is Alec and which is Ben? (This is an easy one plzzzz don't make a fool of me :) You can see her hair *and* the background)

Jezebel: Ben, then Alec

Wench: Bravo! :) Last one

Jezebel: Alec

Wench: Damn, my dear! That's-You missed… what, one? Out of how many?

Jezebel: it's the Jackles stuff! They don’t even look the same 🤣🙃 How? He’s... How?

Wench: !!! DO YOU SEEEEEE

Jezebel: I do! Ackles explainnnnn

Wench: We'll just have to get to the episodes... ready for the next?

Jezebel: Let me know when!

[typicalopposite]

because now you watch Dark Angel, Character Bingo for: Max and Logan

also even though you haven't seen the second Season of the Show, can you do the Bingo for Alec, too? since you said you'd heard Rants about him before? he's my favorite Character

as you wish, my dear Anon! 💕😌

Ok so I meant to share this new one yesterday and so I’m gonna use it, hopefully that’s ok!

For reference

So first

Ma’am is just a whole mess of… well mess! Didn’t even take a whole episode to figure that out.

Next

I don’t really know enough about him to have a full opinion on whether I want to violently shake him or wrap him in a blanket and take care of him yet.

And best for last right?!

I love him. Idk if he has mommy issues I just think he deserved bingo and didn’t want to have to give him an aggressive snowball shake to get one. ☠️😂 I’m guessing he does tho. They all likely do!

[gayfring]

Thanks a lot for looking for that interview, I'm pretty sure now that I just remembered it wrong... I started searching for it now bc I saw a couple of interviews where he was talking about Gus and his past and he weirdly never mentioned Max, which made me super suspicious. Even with the coati story, his take wasn't that it was an analogy about Max 's death. He talked about it yet never mentioned him. It does sound like he's avoiding the subject which breaks my heart so hard... Idk why until now I was under the impression that he was kind of an ally:(( He acted Gus so well through all the scenes, too. I have to get over this somehow though it makes me super sad. It's also hard to imagine that we'll get a satisfying Gus prequel too. When he talked about his backstory he only mentioned that he was curious about his role in the chilean army/ growing up in poverty. You can still link the interviews you mentioned though, and sorry for making you look up something nonexistent:(

Yeah, it also makes me feel kinda weird that he kept avoiding it all the time even in an interview that came out after 609 Well unless Vince or Peter have said otherwise I still think the coati story is an analogy to Max's death since it literally makes perfect sense LOL I doubt that if we get a Gus prequel they won't have Max in it since Max was quite literally Gus's entire life and Max LITERALLY defines his life and his overall point of living after '89. And about Giancarlo I also doubt he's not an ally btw, I think he was just like pulling a Vince Gilligan in those interviews as to not upset the "Sigmas"☠️ And it's all good btw, don't worry ab it :))

[monte-charlo]

I don't know which is worse, the fact the MV0 cares so little about other drivers' health that he's against the FIA trying to help, or the fact that he's so stupid he doesn't even understand these new directives actually help his own team 🤦🏼‍♀️🙈🤡

Third option, the worst of all: he does understand that these new directives help him, but he's still against them because he wants to see others suffer (I honestly get the feeling this is it, since he couldn't shut up about how pain is "part of the job" and people should stop complaining about their health... easy to say when you're not the one in pain ☠️ Lewis even said he wouldn't be able to get out of the car in case of emergency, which could literally cost him his life... yet MV0 doesn't care).

This guy has no empathy or humanity so I wouldn't put it past him.

Charles' words come from frustration about his chances to win the title getting slimmer and slimmer. But he still acknowledged that these directives are a necessary step and mentioned Lewis's health suffering as something unacceptable.

MV0's words literally come from him not giving a damn and not getting his way in every single thing. Another tantrum from the whiny baby.

The FIA changing some rules mid season for the drivers' health is a nono, but them bending the rules all season long in 2021 to help him and changing them in the last race to make him win is ok... Right 😂😂

Max should learn to just shut up about rule changes because he is never not going to have that asterisk next to his name. He is just an asshole that knows he doesnt stand a chance if the rest also have competitive cars. Also spare me the “why should the teams that figured it out be punished” bullshit as if you and your team didnt actively kill all innovation in the sport by campaigning against DAS and party mode etc. from Mercedes.

I had a whole essay written out but i’ll leave it at this lol because you already covered it anon

[ashren]

WIP wednesday with Pirates ™ on the brain thanks to ofmd

So I guess enjoy Ren as a Pirate ☠️

I truly cannot believe i haven't thought about this before and i have so many thoughts on a pirate AU swimming around in my Brain

some (or a lot of) brain worms about his backstory under the cut!

-Ren came from a high society type background, but gave that all up to marry a merchant sailor, Jonathan Daley.

-Ren (Who is known as Lauren up to this point) joins Johnny on his ship, The Hope, where he learns how to sail and becomes part of the crew. At this point Johnny and the crew call him Ren and use he/him pronouns for him.

-One day they enter an unsuspected fog, and while lost and unable to see, the ship is attacked. They attack back, still unable too really see much beyond the vague shape of the attacking ship, but they're not well equipped for a sea battle.

-Ren and the first officer, Nyoka, are the only people who survive and they realize they were attacked by a British Royal Navy ship who mistook them for a pirate ship they'd been chasing

-They're taken aboard the British ship where they try to spin some story, but the actual pirate ship isn't too far behind ~~~

-Captain Alex Hawthorne of the Unreliable quickly overtakes the British Ship and Ren is able to convince Hawthorne into letting him and Nyoka go.

-Nyoka leaves when they make landfall, but Hawthorne offers Ren a spot on the crew, and, now fueled by anger toward the British Navy, Ren accepts.

Flash forward a few years~

-Poor Captain Alex Hawthorne died in a freak accident (that sounds sarcastic but i do not mean it to be, he genuinely dies in a freak accident) and his very capable first mate Ren Daley is voted in as Captain.

-Ren takes over ship and takes on the name 'Hawthorne', afraid that Ren Daley will be too recognizable. Thus, he becomes Captain Ren Hawthorne of The Unreliable.

obviously i have a lot more rattling around in my noggin too, like Ada being a person who was part of Alex's crew but not really she was just kinda there, and no one knows anything about her except Alex.

i also have ideas for the rest of the crew- Nyoka will come back to work for Ren at some point, Felix they pick up at the docks (lol), Ellie joins after Ren saves her from idk something and she feels like she owes him. Plus they need a doctor

Parvati I think would also have been on Alex's crew before Ren took over, but he picked her up from a merchant ship she was on. She talked them out of attacking her ship, and Alex convinced her to join his crew and leave Reed's ship cuz he sounded like a dick Alex may be a bloody thirsty pirate but he was protective of his crew.

Max has a LOT of fun potential too, i haven't even delved into that one quite yet but uh priests of MY pirate ship ??? it's more likely than you think

So yeah PIRATES

this is legit all i was thinking about today at work lmfao and thank u and bless u if u read this far

[thisisyourdriverspeaking]

I don't know which is worse, the fact the MV0 cares so little about other drivers' health that he's against the FIA trying to help, or the fact that he's so stupid he doesn't even understand these new directives actually help his own team 🤦🏼‍♀️🙈🤡

Third option, the worst of all: he does understand that these new directives help him, but he's still against them because he wants to see others suffer (I honestly get the feeling this is it, since he couldn't shut up about how pain is "part of the job" and people should stop complaining about their health... easy to say when you're not the one in pain ☠️ Lewis even said he wouldn't be able to get out of the car in case of emergency, which could literally cost him his life... yet MV0 doesn't care).

This guy has no empathy or humanity so I wouldn't put it past him.

Charles' words come from frustration about his chances to win the title getting slimmer and slimmer. But he still acknowledged that these directives are a necessary step and mentioned Lewis's health suffering as something unacceptable.

MV0's words literally come from him not giving a damn and not getting his way in every single thing. Another tantrum from the whiny baby.

The FIA changing some rules mid season for the drivers' health is a nono, but them bending the rules all season long in 2021 to help him and changing them in the last race to make him win is ok... Right 😂😂

Rule changes mid season are okay as long as they don't harm Red Bull clearly because where was the energy from Max when DAS & engine modes were banned, which clearly were against Merc??

But seriously, if he doesn't agree with the TD then fair but surely he can recognise that this is needed to protect the drivers health & safety? That comes before how fast the cars go. And I am angry that he clearly doesn't give a shit about that, when every single driver has complained about the porpoising, how can he not care about protect the drivers??

I know I've said that I think the TD should be done differently but I can fully recognise above anything else that these changes have been needed for a while now

[galarianace]

From Here

🧳 - What age did your muse start their journey?

Kira started her journey at age 16

🙃 - How does your muse respond to losing a battle?

She hasn’t lost a battle yet, but she’ll be a pretty good sport about it if ever she does. She’ll take the time to analyze the battle, what went wrong, and how to get better later.

⚔️ - Will your muse battle with anyone, or are they selective?

At first she battled with pretty much anyone, but after becoming a Champion she’s become a bit more selective. Too many people know her now, and wish to face off against her, simply for the right to be able to say they did. Compared to that, she’d rather eat something tasty, or bully battle Leon at the battle tower.

🔮 - What is your muses main goal in becoming a trainer?

Mostly to learn more about her Pokémon, and to catch as many different ones as she can.

📞 -  Does your muse call home often, or visit?

She tries to visit at least every other week, and calls home several times a week. Kira and her parents have always been close, and considering her TERRIBLE luck--- ... yeah, her parents WILL freak if she doesn’t call for a few days, and assume she’s dead in a ditch somewhere.

📱 - Does your muse have a Rotom phone?

She does! ... Though she really would like it to stop unmuting the mute button at times.

⌨️ - Does your muse have a Pokédex?

In her rotom phone!

🌇 - How does your muse feel about big cities?

For the most part, she tries to avoid them. Her popularity is a bit of a curse in places with a lot of people. There have been times where she couldn’t even eat a meal in peace because fans kept coming for her autograph.

🏕 - How does your muse feel about small towns?

She’s grown to like them, after living in Postwick for a good amount of years! Though it originally took some getting used to shortly after she moved there.

🥢 - What does your muses diet consist of?

C u r r y -- but fortunately for her stomach, Kira eats a large variety of foods. Curry is just easy to make on the road, but even then she knows a large amount of recipes and tends to mix up what sort of curry she has. In towns or at home she gets other sorts of meals.

🌎 - Has your muse traveled a lot?

Only in Galar, so far. She actually wanted to journey to other places, but being the Champion kind of made that impossible for her.

☄️ - Has your muse ever been hit by a Pokémon move?

... Plenty of times--

🏆 - What is the greatest battle accomplishment your muse has achieved?

Defeating the Unbeatable Leon!

⛳️ - Does your muse play any Pokémon sports?

In a region where Pokémon Battles themselves are a spot? Definitely! Apart from that she plays ball and whatnot with Shannan and other Pokémon a lot.

🧶 - Does your muse play with their Pokémon?

Yes! It’s one of the pros to camping : all the Pokémon can come out and play, and Kira can relax and have fun with them!

🌠 - Does your muse have a legendary on their team?

No, she keeps those safe in a box where no one knows which trainer to threaten to get to them. Though later in life she gets seen with Zaccian more often, leading people to assume she has caught it, but she never confirms it.

🃏 - Dumbest battle move your muse has made?

Not being entirely into the battle is the dumbest move she’s ever made - too caught up in her own thoughts to really be able to pay attention, and allowing her Pokémon to get hurt as a result. 

☠️ - Has your muse ever lost a Pokémon?

She will lose Heracles -- when he gets torn to pieces by Charon’s Mega Houndoom, right before her eyes.

🗡 - How does your muse train?

... Extensively. All her battle Pokémon have gone through a training that can rightfully be called Spartan. It has maxed out their abilities and stats, and many a strategy have been ingrained into them, but uh-- it was not easy for anyone. Only the Pokémon who fully trusted Kira were able to keep up this training. On the other hand, Kira always made sure to keep the individual Pokémon and their limits in mind, and each training regimen was specifically created for every one of them.

[wench-and-jezebel]

Devour Reaction:

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

Bby Ackles  [bby Ackles :)]

[Realizing that the entire movie is contained in the startup and you just.  don't realize it yet.  but anyway]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️

God his kids look just like him

Anne Kilton 👀🤣  [I KNOW! When I tell you this film has SPN vibes… Not a lie]

Dean!

Sir, that’s not- Leave.  Run!  Your white is showing

TF

THE FUCK IS HE DOING WITH THE GUTS  [The fact that you haven't gone hunting before is showing]  ☠️☠️☠️ Blechhhh

Now a baby???  BUDDY GTFO.  FLEE

Mysterious cabin in the woods

Nekked crying person

SIR

[The end.  He ded. Sorry, did you think Jackles was in the whole thing?  Oh wait :)]

The voice

[Weirdo monologues are back: Max-coded]  Talking in circles

Oh nooo drugs  [Dean-coded protective streak pt. 1]

TF [Dean-coded protective streak pt. 2]

[His jacket tho... Dean-coded]  RIGHT?!  But also… Wtf?! The kid was just gonna shoot them?!

Oooo, bitch

Wot.  Is happening.  [She was getting the champagne and intentionally being provocative]  Oh shit

She favors Kirsten Dunst  [Yup, agree]

Yeet.  You just gave the lagoon monster a weapon

Ma’am  [You mean that’s not how computers work?]

You burn candles on your laptop?  Again... Ma’am

“YeH, I pushed a button.”  You idjit.

“Watch your fucking language”  ☠️☠️☠️  [I hate his boss btw]

Alan Ackles has arrived

Bruh his dad reminds me of your dad 👀☠️  [ASDFASDFADF YOU'RE NOT WRONG]  Lemme find out you’re related to the Ackles  [I would pass the frick away]  I would too! ☠️☠️☠️

[Dean-coded protective streak pt. 3]

WOT

BRUH ITS WILD CHARLIE  [Dean-coded protective streak pt. 4]

[Buddy, I love you, but please ask why your friend is demanding your personal info and typing on a computer]  ☠️☠️☠️

Wait is this uncoolness again  [His friends are very uncool throughout the film: you'll see]

Huh.  Uh, y’all run.  HE CRAZY

[I love his acting in this scene.  The turkey line is so well done too aalksdfj]

WHY CANT THIS MAN HAVE GOOD FRIENDS???  EVER???

BRUH  [Did I mention friends putting personal information into random computer programs = not good idea?]  LIKE… dude!

Ohhh noooo

Bruh… I’m tripppinnn lol this movie is wild  [I KNOW RIGHT]

[Get ready for hate-his-boss hours]

BRUH

BRUH.  BRUHHHH!!!  WHAT AN ASSHOLEEEEEE!!

["You wouldn't have let Conrad sign you on" HE DIDN'T KNOW?!!?!?]  RIGHT?!?

Can this dude keep a mom!!??  [I say nothing… I love them tho]

[Dean-coded protective streak pt. 5]  😭😭😭😭

Say you want him in your pants/skirt without saying it ma’am

[This mom's better at the love-life-meddling than Mary]

He’s so cute thoooo  [I KNOWWWW]

☠️☠️☠️☠️ Buddy

[I love Jackles in this whole scene… His smirk/fist pump thing alskdfj *chef's kiss*]

He’s too cute… I can’t even  [I KNOWWWWWWWWWW]

Ma’am.

Sir.  

Masir.

It’s. Not. Like.  This.  What is she.  DOING.  TO HIS HEAD.  WHAT.  AM I WATCHING WOMAN???  I HAD TO TURN THE VOLUME DOWN.  ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️  [I did warn you about this scene]  

AND SHE JUST WALKS AWAY

[Okay, two things… a) I love Jackles playing the romantic type.  And b) the promised friend-uncoolness]  *huff sigh*

Bruh why does the voice on the phone sound like him 🤔🤔

Jump scareeee ☠️☠️

Bruh that’s the devilll run  [Okay, but.  To be fair.  His entire life is vaguely concerning rn.  Buddy's head ain't even safe]  

The smileeee!  Isss too cute  

Ooooof  Wench’s dad, run!

Oh shit  [He didn't run]  Reverse daydream???

Ah!  A k!  Ack!!!

Nope. I almost passed out for that one.  Bruh.

[Dean-coded protective streak pt. 6.  And continued friend uncoolness.  At least he apologized immediately, unlike SOME people] 🥺🥺

Uh ohhh he in trouble

Or something

Runnnnnn

[Oh, I forgot that intercourse bit, sorry.] Oooooof.  They ded.  [They did the deed in a horror movie; isn't that, like, a cardinal rule?]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️ Fair.  But they didn’t even get to finish

Buddy. DONT WALK INTO A CRIME SCENE.  [HE'S CONCERNED FOR HIS FRIEND; CUT HIM SOME SLACK]

OH SHIT THE TONGUE.  BLECH

[Dean-coded hug right there.]  WITH JODY  [And guilt complex.  Poor buddy getting blamed by other people again, too]  RIGHT!?  ["You coulda brought the gun to me" Yeah, you see how me reporting someone else's crime went this time; of course I could have]

Oh no sad music  [Buddy's friend just died; I think it's deserved alkdsfj]

Buddyyyy 🥺🥺🥺  Oh noooo

Oh nooooooo  [Wot?]  The little "son" got me

The way he says “Ok” *dissolves*

[I do like his "play it cool" line.  Is so cute alksdjf  Help]  

Clothes change  [Jonathan/Wayne Stranger Things jacket]

Oooop look at that he’s drinking  [also Wench's dad-coded]

[Jake's look when daddy grabs his arm is a bit.   Concerning.]  🥺🥺🥺🥺  Yep

*sigh*  Poor Jake/Tom/Dean

“Marisol”  Like aerosol  [alskdjf]

[Frecklessss!!!  That's the most pronounced I've ever seen them]  I KNOWWW

BRUH She got that crazy look in her eye.  Don’t go.  DONT BRING YOUR FRIEND.

*sigh*

[Did I mention romantic!Jackles is so great compared to the emotionally-repressed character he usually plays?  Like, nothing against those roles — I love them, too — but it’s a nice change.]  I KNOWWWWW!  IMAGINE.  JUST FREAKINGGGG IMAGINEEEEE.  HIM WOOING CAS LIKE THIS.  Poor buddy would combust!  [Is trueeee]

Aight… I’m calling it the pathway is them.  At least their voices.  They are calling themselves.

[Love her ringssss]  I knowwww

Blech.  Blechhhh!  Fingers

POOR BUDDY

Susssssspciousssss

I am Native American; I can confirm they probably do weird shit like that

Buddy only been with this girl 10 mins and she’s already pouring his coffee; I’ve been with my husband 15 years and he pours his own shit ☠️

FREAKING MOVIES KISSING. THOSE FIRST THREE WERE JUST FITTING THEIR MOUTHS TOGETHER

the cat  🤣☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ Tf

👀👀👀  I seeee you

Roar

[Get ready for more Dean-coded]

Well damn Jake can’t catch a break-

WHAT THE FUCK BUDDY HE DED

*sigh*

“Give rest o christ… cause you have took half our town already.  Please chill out”  (I’m going to hell)

[btw, SPN-coded lore-gathering session]  Right!  [The lights are pretty tho.  He be pretty too]

The priest is like this is ABOVE my pay grade

IF HE CUTS HIS TONGUE ONE MORE TIME AACKK

i just kept the tat… ya know… cause- ☠️☠️☠️

☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️  [My dude slandering Metallica]

[The dog's name is Sammy asdlf *Now* who's getting replaced with a dog?!]

☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

[I am waitinggggg for your reaction to the ending of this film btw; seems like is gonna be gold]  🤣🤣🤣🤣 [Edit: I was right. Be warned about the increase in cursing alskdjf]

Well shit.  Poor devil guy

Ooooooh the plotttt thickenssss

[Early Jackles films has him brooding and staring at things a lot]  🤣🤣🤣

More sitting, more staring  [tbf, buddy pulls off the Heathcliffe aura real well]

Ahh!  It came in handy!

Oooooooh!  Devil shit!

A GHOST

OH SHIT

why Jake gotta go to hell?  He’s so sweet  [You'll see]  And cute ☠️☠️

[WAIT OH HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD THAT’S AMES WHITE FROM DARK ANGEL]  What?!? 👀👀  [You'll understand the significance later… for now, @witchy-writer-lady and I shall keep the secrets]

👀👀👀

👀👀👀👀👀👀

OH WAIT!

OOH SHITTTT!!!

LE GASSSPPP!

[aka: this entire movie is trying to sell us on the fact that this lil ray of sunshine is the spawn of Satan laksfdj]

OH SHIT [Bye bye Ames]  WHOOOPSIE

BITCH YOU DED

[btw, um.  You thought that twist was something.  Wait for the next one.]  WAIT.  Is tarot girl ANNE?!?!  Pls Say- [I say nada]  Womannnnnnnn she gave him the smooches!  That’s not ok  [I DID NOT CONFIRM]  Like I know he is foineeee but it’s not ok! If it is the case

Oh shittttt

WHY WOULD YOU GRAB THE BLOODY KNIFEEEE??! BUDDY, WHATCHA DOIN THERE?!?!  [Okay but horror movie, weapon = good]

This fucking movieeeeee-  [Is not done yet] Is wilddddd

Ooof

Ohhhh shit… That’ll do it.  He gonna snap [aslkdjf]  And start killing with the pick axe  [ALSKDFJ]

[That was.  That was a yes on the momma thing.]  I CALLED IT. ACK.  ACKKKK.   ACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.  KKKKKKKKKKKK.  KKKKKKKKKKK.  NOOOOOOOOOOO.

VSIDUEBEBSZKIZHSSGV  I CANT

I CANT

IMEOT

WOR

How type?  I can’t

DEVIL

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENINGGGGG

[Sam-letting-Dean-turn-into-a-vampire-scene-coded.  Which is kinda concerning given the.  Undertones.  of that scene.]  BLEHCH

WELL SHIT

SHORT END.  EVERYTIME

– – –

Endpoint Reaction:

Wench: I want you to know that I've been cackling at your reaction this whoel time

Jezebel: FUCK COFFEE I NEED LIQUOR ADTET THAT.  I STILL CANT TUPE

Wench: asdk

Jezebel: I’m just- Yeah.

Wench: I'm dying of laughter rn

Jezebel: I just…. What.  Why.  His mother.  She was his mother.  “I can be anything you need me to be”  HOW ABOUT A DECENT FUCKING MOTHER YOU MANIPULATIVE DEVIL BITCH

Wench: One of the few films where Jackles comes out with two parents still alive, and it’s only true because he had four at the beginning and lost two along the way aldskfj

Jezebel: Well, three, ‘cause he killed her too

Wench: Nah, she didn't die

Jezebel: Wtf.  But she was dead at the end, wasn’t she?

Wench: The human vessel was.  And that's a maybe.  We don't know for sure.  But she's definitely alive enough to force-feed him blood and shit, so

Jezebel: Oooh.  Blech.  His MOTHER.  Who wroteeee this shit.  Bleach.  I need bleach for my eyessss

Wench (aside to the audience): She’s never forgiving me.

Jezebel: I just  ☠️☠️☠️☠️  Ok I’m good I think

Wench: aklsjdf

Jezebel: It was a pretty good movie.  Until the end.  That happens a lot in Ackles case.

Wench: Do you see what I mean by, his acting was actually, like, really good?  Especially in that context?

Jezebel: Yess! Buddy just couldn’t get a good ending if it was standing right in front of him…  Ten Inch Hero next, so I can be equally pissed at the ending but in a happier tone.  Maybe tomorrow?

Wench: YEAH.  FINALLYYYY. Sandwich shoppe, here we come!

Jezebel: Ending note.  SHE WAS HIS FUCKINGMOTHER!?!?

[wench-and-jezebel]

Dark Angel Reaction: Shorties in Love

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

Yaayyy! She’s back! 💕  [SHE BACK!  So is OC and Herbal and Sketch :)]  And she’s getting flirted with

“I’m not into pampering”  Unless Logan isn’t spoiling me enough.  Or is trying to be independent when I don’t want him to.  Or doesn’t have his world revolving around me

[Max, shut up; you've always gotten your insight into men from OC, wdym]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Oooohh ahhhhhh  [Truly a beautiful representation of the opening song]  ☠️☠️☠️ it fucking kills meeeeeee

Uh oh, nooooo

Jam pony and Max in the back like 👀👀👀  [tbf I'd be watching them pretty 👀 too]  I WAS

OC you dog ☠️ I saw you check her out when she bent over

Diamond talks in 3rd person too

Max is like DAMMIT LOGAN

Bruh why

WHY IS SHE GOSSIPINGGG

Is this poetry ever mentioned again?  Or was that just an unnecessary act of rudeness we are supposed to overlook  [Not for the most part, I don't think.  There's an unrelated mention of poetry in s2.  But that's, again, not about Logan and more about Max's jealousy]  Writers explainnnn

Mennnnn

Blech

Awwww

NOOOOO THE GIGGLE

[Max being weirdly understanding]  Right!?

This is sickeningly adorable  [I KNOW!  I love her!  Both hers!]

Ma’am.  No one is watching you.  You ain’t gotta look so… Like you’re looking

☠️☠️☠️☠️ “Pee outside.”  I mean… You did just kinda bust up into his house.  But I’m still ded

I love it so much

[Max, wtf was that stance??? The most awkward way to stand ever]  What the hell

This woman and her strange way of standing and sitting and holding guns  ["I'm gonna go home and chill out" *but first I'ma sit here randomly on the table*]  And not look at you.  Angstily.  Like… LIKE.  SHE WENT THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION TO SIT ON THE COUNTER

[Okay, apparently the poetry did come back.  Didn't get much better though]

BRUHHHH She gon die  [You're gonna jinx her]  She is jinxing herself

This is too adorable I cantttttt

DIAMOND NOOOOOOO

🤣🤣🤣  Sketch  [This is the best Max ever acts with him, wtf?]

[MAX WHAT IS THAT ARM DOING]

*sigh* That went well

[Why is she like.  Actually smiling these days.  That's so out of character?]  🤣🤣🤣

They had to make her likable this ep so when she inevitably gets Diamond killed it won’t justify OCs rage

– – – 

Jezebel: OMG I LOVE OC SO MUCCHHHH

Wench: I KNOW

Jezebel: Diamond is being sus af and I hateeeeee it 🥺🥺🥺 but shes also talking about the future and doesn’t ma’am know that’s a sure fire way to get ded?!  I know they went through this massive technology apocalypse but she has seen tv at some point in her life. That’s like rule number one: don’t plan out your future… or you won’t have one

Wench: I thought rule one was don't do the deed in a horror film.

Jezebel: SHE BROKE THAT ONE TOO

Wench: OH SHIT SHE DID

Jezebel: GAHDAMMIT WOMAN

Wench: alskdfj

Jezebel: I also love sketch and herbal! Even tho the latter had like 1/8 of a line… And Max isn’t god awful just like semi awful mainly with her bitchy snatching of the poem book.  Oh, and Logan’s “so they were making out?” MEN 🤣🤣🤣 whyyyy

Wench: I knew you’d comment with that :)

Jezebel: And really that’s all I got for midpoint… Yet another not much has happened minus the BIG main thing to happen episode

Wench: On with the show!  Literally!

– – –

[Fancy flip]

Ughhhhh DIAMONDDDD DONT DOOO IT [tbf, btw, *Max* is kinda acting sus af]

SHE DONE DONE IT DIAMOND WHYYYY

well shittttt  [She lives nonetheless]

[I think he's in CSI]  He looks familiar  [I’ll look him up later]  

YOU COULD HAVE DONE THAT THE WHOLE TIMEEEEE?!?  This is why people don’t trust you woman

[Also, James Cameron and the "dyne”s again aslkfdj  The Terminator was Cyberdyne; Alien was Hyperdyne; now we've got Synthedyne]

Why’s his apple logo upside down? ☠️  WHY’S IT UPSIDE DOWN?  [Probably because they didn't want to deal with an actual computer?  Or maybe they used to be upside down.]  ☠️🤣🤣🤣

🥺🥺🥺🥺 Well god dammmmit  [I was so sad when I found out about this first time 'round]

Bruhhhh

Yes the hell it is selfish ma’am ☠️  “Imma die. So imma go win back the one that got away and make her happy for the last little bit of time I have… then die on her… and make her life miserable. Cause that’s fair”  Wot.  WOTTTTT???  WOOOOTTTTTTT?!?!?

[OC.  MY DEAR.  STOP QUITTING YOUR JOB.]

OC 💔💔💔💔

Boo!!!! You don’t deserve thissss

I don’t write original characters but I’m about to make her one

[Max, I think you could show some compassion]

Sketchhhh

Bruhhhhh I can’t evennnn

Does she know she’s contagious  [No, I don't think so]  Ok good  [Again, my memory is spotty on 1 episodes (except 17), but I don't think so]  I didn’t want to not feel bad for her dying, for OCs sake ☠️  [Yup]

[The dude's neck brace ☠️]  I know ☠️☠️☠️ Ma’am has some ridiculous feet strength  [Neck brace dude got taken out AGAIN]

🥺🥺🥺🥺

[I'm sorry but I love Max's hair.  Should not be the focus of the scene, I know.  But it's just.  So fetching.  With that Hazmat suit]  Seeee?  SEEEE???

NOOOOO.  IM DONE.  DEAD.  [Next episode’s worse]  I CAN'T 😭😭😭😭😭

Yusssss get ‘em!  [Serves the dude right for being an asshole to the guy who tried to get him to put on the suit]

[Oh shit I forgot that line and damn but it's a good one 😭]  IT ISSSS!!!!  [That scene was very Doctor Who hospital ep, if you remember that one.  With Cassandra and the plague carriers?]  YESSSS

IS SHE THINKING ABOUT LOGAN OR FUCKING ZACH??? BLECH  [asdfkljasdlfkjaldskfj I hate you for mentioning him]

Ye you do get over your first love ☠️

[RESPECT HIS BOUNDARIES MY WOMAN!  Also, she just said Man of Letters]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️

[I could never.  I might die]  Ma’am you did.  [Shut up.  You still haven't read my poetry, actually.  And also, I haven't showed poetry about someone to that person]

BITCH READ IT OUT LOUD!  WE’RE TRYING TO KNOW

[Bitch]  wot.  Wot.  WOT?!  [You just read his intimate poetry.  And just.  Leave?]  WHAT!?!?

Ma’am.  Shut up with the circlessssss.  And explain THE nonsensical HOOPLAH I JUST WITNESSED.  I-  I JUST- WHAT?!

– – –

Jezebel: I… nope I ain’t got nothing else on that! But backpedaling to OC! She didn’t deserve that ooooh my goddddd.  Shit Diamond didn’t deserve that!  Sector guy TOTALLY deserved that!  And… I really don’t know what else to say this episode was very clean cut ☠️☠️

Wench: True!

Jezebel: The real question is tho… Are we prepared for this next episode?

Wench: I am… I've seen it six times :)

Jezebel: You would, angst queen

[wench-and-jezebel]

Dark Angel Reaction: Art Attack

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)

We had spare time before this episode, so have fun with our bonus content! Link available here!

– – –

["Must be a guy thing" Ah, yes, women don't exercise]  Or a decent person thing, ya know

[OH YEAH THERE'S APPARENTLY A FAMILIAR FACE IN THIS!  @witchy-writer-lady told me abt it]

The circles that have been talked in this scene  [Ma'am calling him out on circular sentences like she doesn't do that constantly]

There is plenty more romantic.  Weddings are so overrated and expensive ☠️☠️🤣

“Why not?”  OC!

🤣🤣🤣 This woman deserves to have her dress stolen if she didn’t notice it gone from two feet away [asdfkjalfdkj you're not wrong]  She’s blind as hell with both eyes intact ☠️☠️☠️

Oh Sketch noooooo

Get ‘em OC  [No "Get 'em Normal"?]  HES SO MEANNNN ☠️☠️☠️☠️  [You do realize NoBody there does Any work right alkdsjf]  That’s true 🤣🤣  [Not even Alec, love him as I do alskdfj]  Oooooof  [He legit just sits there chatting with Normal about boxing the whole time.  Or delivering single packages]

Oh! Hello Logan!

NORMAL 🤣🤣🤣

His little “hm she’s aight” look

[This was me earlier today!!!  I understand his aversion to public speaking  aslkdfj]  ☠️☠️☠️ Moood

Oh Buddy

[His look at her alskdfj]  Their little exchange was cute tho  ['sigh' This is true]

Poor Normal  [I knowwww!�� Will the hostage situations never stop?]  Right?!?

[An actual coherent monologue alkdsjfa]

Loooool I thought the brother was Palmer (Ducky’s Assistant you haven’t met yet)  [idk for sure but that's not the pertinent one… Watch for Daphne]

Poor Max done got put in her feelings

Le gasp  [Oh, last name drop!  I forgot Max's last name was on screen.  I don't think Alec's is]

Ooop! We get more jam pony

He said ten bucks  [tbf, they are in an economic depression]  True 🤣🤣

[Normal be lying abt the bip-bip-bip-ing]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Poor buddy can’t have a good family!  Oooof

Was that SPN Mary?  [Yup!]  Le gasp

Oooooof jealousy

[That was a painfully fake smile, Max]

[Also this be the plot to your Nomral fic.  But more guns.  And less love life.  And Normal's in a leather jacket and not a bathrobe]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Oh boy: Logan done put his foot in his mouth

[I'm cringing in preparation for this ep btw.  Heads-up]  Oh noooo

– – –

Jezebel: Midpoint!

Wench: Bravo!  Ma'am remembered better than I… do go on!

Jezebel: Ok so first off it’s a Jam Pony ep which has proven to be some of my favorites!  And I swear I love a “I don’t like this person but I don’t hate this person so I’ll help” storyline

Wench: Poor Normal alskdjf

Jezebel: Yusss.  Alsoooo POOOR LOGANNNNNN!  BUT MAX TAKING UP FOR HIM WAS ADORABLE, IM SORRYYYY!!  But then here comes Mary-

Wench: Daphne

Jezebel: I know 🤣

Wench: Hmph

Jezebel: -and just threw a wrench right in it

Wench: And finally the jump I paused it on  ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️  In that dress… Just…. Wot ☠️🤣🤣☠️☠️

Wench: Apparently we have lots of photos to give y’all this time alskdfj On we go!

– – –

I swear ☠️ The dress makes the jumps look so bad ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Oooof

Mood max

[Okay but he lost his job because of the messenger service so-]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Buddy she’s no angel

Bruh CAN NO ONE KEEP UP WITH SHIT  [I mean.  Technically she just.  Decided to leave with it]  FAIR

[Remember when I said I was.  preemptively cringing.]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️oh shit the second hand embarrassment

[Poor Normal expecting to get killed tho]  Ooop Normal reality check on being a good person lol  [Let it be known, btw, that Normal in s2 has very good moments and very BAD moments.  I recognize this.  But for now I'm enjoying his minorly-asshole-ish-but-no-worse bits.]

This man and his bitch slaps

I love "defenstration"... it's one of my favorite words

Poooor Normal

[Have fun.  I'm.  Not watching btw.  Tell me when the speech is over plz.  I'm.  I have it muted.]  I have it turned down☠️  I’m still cringing at the faces

This.  Is Tony coming out of Logan

Max coming through again  [Okay, now you're uber-whacked; technically she only came through because she caused the problem in the first place by not handing the paper back]  Fair  [This is the one non-anti-Max comment you've made that I don't agree with]  🤣🤣🤣

[This.  Is an NCIS episode.]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️  ["I've got a military vessel heading out to-"]

A ghostttt  [Max disappearing: Cas-coded]

Oooooop-  [Plz let DaphMary be a lesbian]  SBC… If not OC GON make her one

[This whole dress thing is so ridiculously unrealistic.  It's pulling me out of the story.  She definitely smells like trash and yet no one seems to notice; she's bound to have it all dirty, stained, and ripped, and yet she's acting like she's gonna return it... just wot]

OOOOF  THAT WOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TODAY

[Showing off her powers again 'sigh']

☠️☠️☠️☠️  [She (Max) annoys me]  Fair

Oh boy

OC 🤣🤣  [Um.  DaphMary looking like she was heading over to OC as soon as she caught the bouquet.]  RIGHT

[Um.  UM.  THEY ACTUALLY DID THAT!!!  DAPHMARY I FREAKING LOVE YOU]  Oooooop!  Dean’s getting a new momma.  [Well, he always seems to lose one, so he needs two]  Oooof  ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Ooop-  Somethings missing on miss presses neck 🙂

“You first”  Heart eyes

[I.  I think we found out why she dumped him… Lickity-chicks]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️  Logan’s not clueless I love it  [This is true!]

Dawwwww!  Genuine smile!  [I will give you that Max/Logan are good in this scene]  

Another dawwwww

Le gasp

Buddy HOW BOUT YOU NOT  [HE WAS TESTING IT]  “My feet work again… Lemme break em”

– – –

Jezebel: Ok! End point! 🙃 Jam pony still are my all time favorites! Like you said it’s the Normal fic but make the girl a painting ☠️☠️ and the depression is his, you know, will to live.

Wench: lkjlkj;lkj oof

Jezebel: Also Logan was adorable in this one.  Very Tony-esque.  And his family sucks.

Wench: All true

Jezebel: But DAPHNE(MARY) 😮‍💨💕 love herrrr!

Wench: I KNOW!  I FORGOT THEY DID THAT AND JUST.  GOLD

Jezebel: OC really just be coming in and swooping up all the ladies.  Also, Max was annoying but her taking the necklace made me happy. So *sigh* 😤  I’m conflicted

Wench: This is fair!  To be honest, she’s not as bad in s1 as she is in s2.  It’s her dynamic there that causes the issue.

Jezebel: Ending note. Catlike jumping in leather = meh, goofy but believable / catlike jumping in fancy schmancy dress = the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen

[wench-and-jezebel]

Dark Angel Reaction: I and I Am a Camera

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

My lovessss!  Well, two of them are

[I missed his accent in the CSIs]

Herbal didn’t you see what happened to Cindy’s boo?! You’re gonna get him dead!!!

Sketch showing off

Oooop ominous shoes

Is! OMG THATS- WAIT MAYBE ITS NOT-  [WHO?!?!?!]  That guy from the Office.  Dwight  [Oh, idk]

HES GONEEEEE!  Mysterious!

[SKYYYYY  (You don’t know them yet btw)]  Ooooo! Newbie  [Nah, they were in the pilot… I mentioned them then too]  Ohhhh  [But they're not mentioned by name until s2 I don't think]

Gosh OC is so pretty!  [I knowwww!]  I love her hairrrr

THAT IS HIM

Mac ded

Oh, not Mac… Just ded

OH NOOOOO I TOLD YOU HE WAS GONNA GET DED!  Poor herbal

[Bruh, that was actually stand-up of Normal]  I was waiting for the orders just like they were…  But YES! RESPECT!

[Max, why tf would you think he'd want to talk to you about it]  Because they all are blind to her bitchiness for some reason  [Why is she making Herbal's friend dying about her?]  ☠️☠️☠️

*sigh*  [Oh, no, what's their drama this time?]  Uh oh  [Oh, never mind, we knew about this.]  Someone is getting doubts  [Indeed]

Also it was a pleasant change her not getting all sour faced to him declining  [This is true]  Wait ‘til she finds out why tho 😮‍💨😮‍💨

☠️☠️☠️☠️ she unzipped her shirt like “I know how to distract him”

If I hadn’t known it was Dwight before I would have there

The head snap: ☠️☠️☠️you’ll Wot?

[Look, I just gotta say... why is Max telling more to OC than she is to her alleged bf]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️  [*cough cough*]  Mindy.  Original Max?  [OMAX]  YES

YOU CAN SAVE ME THE POSTAGE?!?!!  BUDDY, YOU’RE RICH  [asldkfj]  Hmph

Ohhhh nooo

Ooooof! Murder drone

– – – 

Jezebel: Midpoint time!  So… RAINN WILSON!  I love him!  He’s so quirky! 😂😂  But I’m also glad he’s not the bad guy! 😂😂😂

Wench: Idk who he is --- I only know him from gifs and House of a Thousand Corpses --- so... cool?  :)

Jezebel: Also like… Logan is kinda confusing me and maybe I just missed something so correct me if I’m wrong… why is he so concerned with her killing now.., it’s not like he didn’t know she could, and would….

Wench: Yeah, but like… He saw proof of it not being provoked?  I guess?  Like, he was thinking of her as capable but innocent because she escaped as a kid.  And now he found out that she killed someone before she even left, and brutally, too

Jezebel: Fair!  But… Eh I still think the one they did as kids is unfair to judge her for, maybe, maybe not, idk. 😂😂😂

Wench: Nah, I agree… They were kids in a hostile environment, "trained" with extremely harsh methods, and set into a position where they were terrified/not understanding of what was going on.  

Jezebel: And didn’t they think he was one of the like monster things?

Wench: Yeah, I was just typing that :)  A 'nomlie

Jezebel: ☠️ Yeah! So like… I feel like this is gonna frustrate me with Logan now, because before if he had her on a mission or whatever she does for him he wouldn’t have batted an eye at what she did but now it’s like oh she killed someone as a kid? (And I guess with the added bonus of Ben freaking out like he did) she’s sus!

Wench: Yeah, I get it... I do think they drop this soon though, so there is that.  But I could be wrong to, so

Jezebel: Oh! Good if they do!  Also!  NORMALLLL I LOVE YOU!

Wench: :))) Yesss

Jezebel: He is such an ass most eps but he was really sincere and poor buddy was so confused when they were eyeing him like… “but?”

Wench: I knowwww

Jezebel: “Did I say something wrong?” 🥺🥺🥺

Wench: I KNOWWWW

Jezebel: I have also come to the conclusion I am in love with OC! It’s just how it is… My husband’s gonna have to share!

Wench: You have good taste :)

Jezebel: Thank you… And that’s all for midpoint!

– – – 

MURDER DRONEEEEE

[lkjLKJADS;LKFJSADLKFJ THE SILENCER GESTURE]

“What do you call yourself?”  “Max?”  “Maxxxxxx… Maximum girl…. Woman”

Logan’s gonna be like 😮‍💨 Aight I don’t have to worry

HIS LEG

[Well, *someone's* mental, but it ain't Logan]  

I love him

I LOVE HIMMM

This is just post apocalyptic Dwight.  I’m dying

DYING

[aldskfjalksdjf;laksdfj;lsakdfj *chuckles* nooooo]

Nooooo!  Sad backstory… He’s gonna die

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

[X FILESSSSS!  I love that show]  😂😂😂 I- 👀😮‍💨  [?]  Have never seen it  [How dare]  So sorry 😂😂😂

[Jesus, woman, be tactful]  Right?!?

Buddddddy

Well damn… His survival is just plummeting.  [This is true… I can't remember if he survives]  He’s too likeable

☠️☠️☠️

He always plays a bad guyyyy

Welp… he ded

Ooooop… Good lord.

Logan!  [That got her attention]  😂

“Logan get down”  *Looks directly at it*  Buddy

Well that is ☠️  [I-  wot]

The faces

Pooor Dwight!  (I know that’s not his name lol)  [I don't know his actual name, so you're good]  ☠️☠️☠️

What is this scene! Not the dialogue.  Just the way they’re talking to each other.  Mainly Logan and his rainy window staring

Phil.  His name is Phil

And the bus explodes!  Or- oooop.  Maybe not

Ooooop you’re being sus he’s gonna doubt you more  [I’ve gotta make something actually]

Oh wait HERRRRRR!  WELL I SEE WHAT SHES DOING!

OOOOP!  Him legsss!  Now he can be the sidekick!

That smile was adorable

– – – 

Jezebel: HE DIDNT DIE THANK GOD!  I WAS WORRIED!

Wench: I knew Logan got the exoskeleton so I was concerned too

Jezebel: THAT WAS THE MOST WHOLESOME THING THO!  I loved it!  And the smirk!  But also ooooof manticore lady has the murder drone! Not goood! NOT GOOD!!

Wench: Indeed

Jezebel: But Logan’s about to be upright again! Whooop whooooop!  And if he wasn’t over the thing about max as a kid before he is now

Wench: Which is good!

Jezebel: YES!!  And!  I’m beginning to get ideas for the NORMAL & OC friends fic!

Wench: Yessss!  Lovely :)))

Jezebel: And… I am trying to think of anything else to add… But I think that’s all!!

Wench: Yesss!

[wench-and-jezebel]

NCIS Reaction: Seadog

Wench (@scripted-downfall) reacts [with (maybe) occasional asides by Jezebel (@typicalopposite)]

Love this song [Same :)]

Rude.  They turned it off [So very! ☹️]

Rude apathetic person suddenly got way less apathetic

Dude, no shit, they probably fell off the boat when they got shot

Actually watching the intro this time… Heya, Tony.  Abby continues to be adorable.  (Yes, I know we've seen that scene but shhh)  [I always liked it]

Weatherly looks so different without the glasses

YES.  AVOID THE SEMINARS

Being rude to Tony againnnn :(

He's so happyyyyyyy

Buddy, just call shotgun earlier.  It's called being quick on the... draw.  HAH.  Hah.  Get it?  Do… Jezebel, do you get it?  [*silence*]

Dude, Tony was doing something alskdjf  Leave him be

Oh, we've got the obligatory scold-the-local-law-enforcement-officer scene. (To be clear... I get the point but also.  So strategically unwise.  They kinda need the locals’ assistance, and that’s a quick way to get booted off the case, I’m about 99% sure.)

laksjdf Not Tony flirting with the reporter to get her number

[Ducky you savage] !!!

All the under-his-breath asides about that cop alkdsjf

I love Ducky's hat

And we've got cash

If they do not stop being jerks to Tony-

Mary Celeste?  Ghost Ship-vibes

That wasn't the point, Kate, don't be obtuse.  [☠️☠️☠️]

I appreciate characters who compulsively fiddle --- so much like me, fr --- so Tony's flipping the pen is great

Poor Ducky

alskdfjalkdsjf Duckyyyyyy [I love himmmmm]

Oh no not the anti-drug programme.  I swear, people running anti-drug-programmes in these shows always get mixed up in actual drugs, and are usually innocent

"You five-0, ain't you?"  Wrong show, actually :)

Man legit just climbed the fence

Leave.  Tony.  Alone.  Plz.

"Untied States" alksdjfalksdfj  Whoops

Gibbs, I recognize that you think you're hot shit, but you don't have to be an ass to everyone [😂😂😂😂]

ABBY SIGNS!!! YOU'RE AWESOME, MY DEAR!  [YESSSS]

Her hair's more lab-accurate this time

Poor Tony :(

I love the name Jethro, it must be said

Reporter chick's not wrong

Poor Tonyyyyyy

HE'S LEARNING SIGNNNNN (...ish)

– – –

Be proud of me: I actually remembered the midpoint reaction!  Woot woot!

I continue to enjoy the show…  Not a fixation-worthy enjoyment yet, but I like it.  Abby and Tony are still head-and-shoulders above the rest; then Ducky.  Kate kinda annoys me, and, tbh, so does Gibbs.  Writing has been decent --- yards better than CSI, which I regret knowing --- and acting's been decent (as far as I noticed)... Plotlines haven't been bad.  Again, there's some iffy writing in terms of the actual cases --- I'm looking at you, parachute-death-last-episode --- but I haven't noticed any quite yet this episode.

Tony continues to be picked on more than is deserved.  (You know, I might be fine with this if it were more evenly shared, but --- like with Alec in Dark Angel --- it's mainly just reserved for Tony.  Maybe even more so, since there was at least Sketchy to share the picking-on in DA, but there's no one else here.  [Once McGee is on it’s kind of a someone picks on Tony Tony picks on McGee situation]  See, now that’s not bad!  At least it's-  I legit almost wrote consensual, but I *meant* mutual.  Although, technically, ig, it’s both.  [And it’s hilarious because once Ziva comes on McGee tries to do the same to her but she’s just like no]  Oh nooooo.  Guess I’ll see that when it happens.  Love triangle, perhaps?  I kid, I kid.  Unless…?

Also, Kate and Gibbs both come across as very... I'll say self-confident, but that's putting it nicely.  More like arrogant.  They've got the same "I know what I'm doing" mentality that annoys the crap out of me in Max (DA), Sam (SPN), et al.  And Gibbs has that whole I-don't-have-to-explain-myself-ever-because-I'm-hot-shit enigmatic thing working, and that always pisses me off too; like, just fricking talk, okay???? You've got a team; just freaking use it!

Aight… grabbing water and then continuing.  (See, look, I don’t just drink coffee!)

– – – 

Ya girl’s being healthy and fetched an actual dinner too, which is truly shocking… but now I’m ready, so!  Onward we go!

Rolly tray

Y'all didn't have to do the reverse-Miranda-rights like that but, also, kudos to Tony for the sarcasm in the process

Once again; talk to your fricking teammmm

Tony, Tony, Tony... Your sarcasm is gonna get you in trouble soon

^x2

GIBBS IS SITTING ON THE AUTOPSY TABLE AGAIN.  (That cannot be sterile)

I can't tell if those two are helping each other or tearing their business down; it might well be both

Puppy!!!

Okay, I swear, now they're comparing Alec-character to dogs again; whyyyy

They made the same joke in Dark Angel.  Twice [☠️😂]

[☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️  The whine.  THE WHINE ☠️☠️☠️ Poor dog]

[Pew pew pew]

STOP WITH THE DOG COMPARISON, HOLY HELL  [He (Tony) looked up]  I’m sorry, but what does it say about how you treat your coworkers/subordinates that they’ll answer to dog whistles.  This is worse than DW!Mickey and K-9  :(

Poor Tony lkajsdf

Poor Tony (again) not getting to interview the girls :(  aksjdflkasjdf :)

Not the “low on testosterone or gay” plz

TONY GETS TO INTERVIEW THE GIRLS

Oh, the feeb’s being an asshole too

WHY IS THIS THE SECOND OF THREE EPISODES CONCERNED WITH TERRORISM!  WHAT IS THIS, 24?!?!  [A lot are I think.. it’s a military show ☠️]  Yeah, well, it’s not a counter-terrorism show!!!

That was President Logan!!!  His actor always plays sketchy people, but I love him anyway, ngl

“Chutzpah” is such a good word

IS THAT BELLE?!!?  OH MY GOD, IS THAT BELLE?!?!?  IT IS!!!  OH MY FRIGGING GOD, EMILIE MY BELOVED!!! 

[I love the accent]  ikr.  My sister hates Australian accents, but idk why

idk if that guy was hugging or injured, ngl

Tony's flirting actually worked!  I had no doubt; serves them right for giving him shit about it!

Ngl, this whole conversation is just Tony’s version of Alec-vs-Max: “I’m thinking.”  “You’re talking.”  “I can do both!”  “I doubt that.”

Go on, Tony, show 'em up for their doubts

Abbyyyyyy

Kate's annoying  [Fun fact she’s blonde. She had to dye her hair EVERY DAY]  Dedication from the actress changes nothing about my (current) dislike for the character alskdjf

"You're holding out on us!  That is not nice!"  Abby, my beloved

(scandalized): TONY

(scandalized): ABBY

Match made in... well, maybe not Heaven, but-

Y’all, can we stop the annoying teasing-about-relationships-and-flirting stuff?  This is going on too long to be not-serious, and it’s annoying.

I. I think we might have found a show that has more terrorist activity than 24.  And that’s centered around the Counter-Terrorism Unit.  What the bloody hell.  [😂😂😂😂]

Kate’s still being annoying

"He could just be doing his job"  Yeah, the gun really sells that.  Definitely just your ordinary power guy.

"Phone's got detonators"  I'm shocked.  It's almost like the plan was to detonate stuff.

The lights are on!!!  Hell yeah!!!

Okay, but that background noise *cannot* be good for that recording

Y'all are a bit.  Close.  Wanna... take a step back there?

Whoa, first names.  Is that allowed???

Isn't this the second time he's been picked up by this chick?

Thus is it finished!

– – –

Aside from the probably-excessive number of terrorist attacks — literally, I’ve seen three episodes, and this is the second one with a terrorist connection — I’m still enjoying it!  Tbh, my opinion hasn’t much changed from the midpoint, so I don’t know what to add… I would say that the episode kinda… spiraled?  Like, we were still on drug-running as of after halfway through the episode, and it suddenly became a 24 episode?  Then somehow got resolved really quickly?  But, pacing issues aside, it wasn’t bad!  And that’s basically the only opinion shift from halfway through, so.  There ya go!

‘Til next time!

[wench-and-jezebel]

Dark Angel Reaction: Blah Blah Woof Woof

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

As we prepare to start watching:

Wench: “Okay, count at will!” Jezebel: “3 2 1 go” Wench’s video: *freezes* Wench: Wait! Jezebel: … Un-go

– – –

Ah chess

Jezebel’s video: *freezes*Wench: DAMMIT

[Poor Logan… Doesn't he know?  "Always let the [transgenic] win"  Well, I guess it's the opposite; he wants her to let him win... but oh well]

“See ya”

[The music tho]

What ya doing Lintlicker

Le gasp

Oooof, a gun.  He crazy

Buddy you don’t dismiss everyone

Pervo ☠️☠️☠️

Ooooof close call

Took you long enough to see it  [Okay, I'm sorry, but it's not that good a photo]  

[I love these three. OC, Herbal, and Sketchy are my adored.  I also love Normal anthropomorphizing the packages :)]

Ahhh another intense episode

Oh noooo!  Intense for more than just Max

Ok I’m sorry maybe it’s just me but the doctor said this very weird  [Is true.]  Like at first his tone was you may need to do it.  Then it swapped to ehhh you don’t wanna do it.  [Tis true.  Also, Logan looking at him like, "Bud, you're not convincing me not to do surgery" is kinda funny]

Uh oh busted

[OH SHIT OH FUCK Max’s line about “Look how thin she is; can you say eating disorder?” is so horrible given what I've heard about Alba’s time on set.]

The thing I don’t get. These kids escaped… what does he think is gonna happen if he catches them after all this time… they are just gonna be like. Oooop ya got me! Now I’ll work for you again  [Yeah.  Don’t forget, you haven’t met PsyOps yet]  True

[Poor Normal, acting all hurt and slighted… "She didn't come back from her morning run; imagine that. I had some high hopes for you, pal, but you just turned out to be like all the rest, didn’t you? Just a great, big, fat goose egg." cough cough, you didn’t come back and that hurt my feelings :((((]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️  Looool true  [Am I wrong?  That's the vibe it's got.]  Not at all lol it really is

[Zach continues to annoy me, just btw]  OC gonnn fuck him up  [She should!!!]

Zogan pt 2  [I'm telling you; Lach]  Bruh.  Turn my brain off.  Turn it off.  I don’t wanna be here.  These aren’t the fics that Anon was asking for.

HOW IS HE DRIVING

Oh wait it actually shows the mechanisms this time… Run him over!

But also, I feel like he wouldn’t be such a natural at a handicap vehicle.  Like, just have the trainer drive.

[Normal has a bad habit of doing what he thinks is right and it not being right, btw] ☠️☠️☠️

Normal.  My Buddy.  You got lipgloss on.  [WAIT WHAT?!  PAUSE.  We'll do the midpoint reaction early; I gotta check]  Ok lol  [oh my god he does.  OH MY GOD HE DOES.  YOU'RE NOT WRONG!!!]  😂😂😂

Ooooooo imma slap a Zach

Oh, speak of the devil (Max) and she shall appear

All these people shooting at her and all of them missing; she’s not even dodging?!?!  They’re like Stormtroopers!

– – – 

Midpoint reaction: (note: from here on out — on both this episode and the next, maybe on some others too, though they’ll be labelled if so — this reaction was done on a voice call.  The conversation has been assembled after the episode as well as we could, but it’s not word-for-word!)

Jezebel: This episode’s another intense one, and very nerve-wracking, but not a lot’s really happened in this one?

Wench: I KNOW.  Like, this is really intense, but also, somehow, really slow, and, come on, writers, are you ever going to advance the plot???

Jezebel: All I’ve got right now is Lach, and I don’t want it, but it’s there.  Like, that last exchange felt like a Max/Logan scene, but they swapped Max out for Zach

Wench: EXACTLY.  And that exchange about the window being open?  Literally a parallel to the pilot.  I think that line was an exact callback, in fact, though I haven’t checked to confirm for sure.

Jezebel: Normal’s got a decently big part in this episode…

Wench: Comments for Normal Anon?

Jezebel: He’s mighty shiny lol

Wench: And favorite characters at this point?

Jezebel:  Kinda hard to say.  Before I started watching NCIS again, I was like meh: Logan was just there.  But now that I’m back hyperfixating on the show again, I love Logan even though there’s no reason to.  OC is up there, then Herbal, just because I like their bits.  And I hate that I don’t like Max because Jessica Alba is hot.

Wench: (re. OC/Herbal et al) I feel so bad for not liking/rewatching season 1 much because I’m coming to the conclusion that I really love the Jam Pony scenes.

Jezebel: Right?!?!  I loved scenes like the last episode's

Wench: Normal did not deserve that!!!

Jezebel: He really didn’t!  He’s… I’m trying to come up with a comparable character, and it’s not much working.  He’s not “I can’t stand him; he’s so horrible.”  He’s not even that bad.  He’s just a bit annoying sometimes.  But I like him at other times.  Maybe Hotch?  I would say gibbs but I know you have strong feelings against him ☠️☠️☠️  Maybe the Gibbs gibbs is supposed to be?  He’s complex! Cause normal is an ass… but not an asshole. There’s a difference ☠️  And I don’t recall another character being that dorky kinda loveable but assish too.

Wench: Yeah, that makes sense!  And I think you’re gonna get more insight into him next episode, which is why I said wait until then for the Normal Bingo.

Jezebel: Ah, I see!

Wench: Any other comments before we go on?

Jezebel: Just this, and you should put it in bold and italics or something in the reaction… THIS ONE WAS VERY SLOW

Wench: All-caps and bold it is :) 

– – –

He looks like William Shatner from Star Trek

[btw, it bears mentioning that Max is already acting suspiciously, to the point that everyone at her workplace, aside from OC and kinda Herbal, thinks she might be the murderer the Wanted posters are looking for.  She’s suspicious even before the whole transgenic scare in season 2, so, once again, why does OC try to unite everyone behind her???]

“Are you not a man- *pause* -to be taken lightly?”

“Uh...mmm...Yeah. I mean, no. Uh...uh, yeah, I most certainly am...not.”  Not a man, huh?  I see.

[Why are the car scenes with Zach, Logan, and Max so awkwarddddd (I say as if I don’t know)]

Did she say “it’s sad”?  [I think so].  Who just says “it’s sad?!?”

[SKETCHY HAVING A NORMAL-APPRECIATION MOMENT]

Poor Sketchy [His hair just looks so disheveled]

“Blah blah woof woof”  Wot?  [No clue!!  She said that earlier and I still have no clue what it means]  I’m gonna have to use that.  Well, look it up and then use it

[MAX AND LOGAN JUST KISSED??? I FORGOT THAT]

This is such a “oh, my woman just left.  Of course it’s gonna rain; I’m gonna go sit at the window” moment.  Didn’t he do that when the ex-wife left?  [Yup alksdjf]  He’s very Bella-Swan-coded.  [You’re right!!!]

The rain is making it look like he’s crying and that’s making it even sadder

[SHE’S DOING IT TOO. Little did we realize they’re both Bella Swan]

[He held onto that glass — and her hand around that glass — a bit too long]. This whole scene, like, screams “well, we aren’t really blood siblings”

You were twelve.

[This scene is so concernin-  *Zach brushes Max’s hair behind her ear* I’M SORRY?!?!  “SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED” WHO?!!?]

I love how Normal's actor realized he’d messed up his hair by brushing his hand through it, so he fixed it first

The guy in lock-up be like “Hey, I like your lipgloss” to Normal

Uh oh, something’s wrong.  What’s trainer see?  “Oh my god he’s dead”?

OH MY GOD HE’S DEAD

Did she just get a sixth sense or something?  [Apparently!!!]  There’s something not right with the force.  (Be funny if Zach looked up, too, though)

He ded

Logan didn’t really collapse; he just laid down on a table [this is only the first of two times minimum he does that this series]

[btw, there’s no way she didn’t just break her leg with that physics]

Oh, no, not again  [what is that prolonged eye contact between Max and Zach, too?!]

Oh, my god, that’s right where I passed out; this is why I can’t be a doctor.  Blood would shoot out at me and they’d be like, welp, doctor’s down

[I repeat, that photo does not even look like her]

What operating rooms are right there where you can see them from the waiting room?

I thought that was Logan; I was like, he’s cured!

[What is this doctor-patient confidentiality???  I didn’t realize all you had to do to bypass HIPAA was pull puppy-dog eyes and repeat, “Is he dying?”]  It’s ‘cause she’s pretty

“Yeah, no problem, stranger that I don’t know knows this patient; you can stay here all alone”

*Max begins a blood transfusion*  This is why you don’t just leave random people alone with patients

When Logan gets up, he needs to be like, so you care now?

HOW LONG HAVE THEY LEFT HER WITH HIM

[Wait, it’s that red balloon again alksdjf]

You couldn’t even dream him walking?

Needs to say “Bitch, I can’t walk”

He actually said it

Oh, and again: “If I can’t walk, I can’t dance”

I wonder if you donate organs, this happens.  That’d be weird

You gotta love when the writers are like, this is gonna be so sweet and cute and the best scene ever and it’s just… not.  [You’re not wrong]  Like, this is cute enough and all, but it’s also really weird

And it’s also gonna give some poor person with epilepsy a seizure

And that’s the end of the series; they die together

[They just put a blood-deprived person in general lock-up; how is she still standing?!]  Exactly!  And they didn’t even give her a bandaid; they just pulled out the needle.  And I’ve been to the hospital and gotten an IV, and they pulled out the needle, and blood went everywhere.  It’s like the scene in SPN where Dean broke his leg and then pulled out the IV and there was just nothing.  I’m like, this is a show about hunting supernatural creatures, but this is the unrealistic bit.  [This is the most unrealistic thing in this show, and the brothers fight god with a gun.]

Well, dang, they got Zach too

[I’m sorry, but that was such a teen movie way of leaving.  “Oh, I’m just gonna… toss my hair… and then jump over this wall.”]

Who licks their glasses arm like that?  Like, it’s one thing to chew on it, but Lintlicker, like… licked it

[Poor Sketchy’s still struggling.  And Normal looks beat.  But I like his jacket, btw]

[They let the stranger back in]  They were like, well, ya know what, she did a good thing; she saved him

[“He cares about you.  And I don’t mean just like a brother.”  DAMN IT STARTED THIS EARLY?]

And back to denying it.  Like, come on, you shared a blood dream.  [I can’t believe that even happened]

Right back to solving one problem and bringing up another one.

[Nasally monologue returns]  And so does her talking in circles!

— — — 

Jezebel: Well, in the second half, a lot happened!  They were like, we ain’t gonna put much in the first half because we’re gonna have to try and kill you in the second half.  Also, there’s like a ship… not unlocked, but it’s there.  They don’t want it to be there --- I don't want it to be there --- but it’s there.  Uh… I actually didn’t hate Max this episode.  Or even not-like her

Wench: I know!!! Though, admittedly, for an episode about Max, she was only in, like, three scenes

Jezebel: They could have made him collapsing a bit more dramatic, to be honest.  Like, sprawled out on the floor.  Or in his chair, still by the window.

Wench: I KNOW.  Like, I fell asleep over my homework all the time in high school/college, so he could just have been asleep; that was much less dramatic than it could/should have been.

Jezebel: And… the dream.  I’m gonna keep coming back to it.  If I had one final thought at the end of this episode, it was pinned back at that dream.  That was so weird.  But I think that’s a wrap, so.  Yeah!

– – –

Wench post-script during tagging; Kendra hasn’t been in, like, three episodes… I wonder if she’s off for good.  I know she leaves before s2, but I didn’t expect it this early!  I guess we’ll see as the episodes continue