#he’s not a great dad but he’s nowhere near the worst either | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

gvldntrbl · 4 months ago

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-😈-

"Nah," Bear drawled with a shake of his head. "I don't think so. I think this kid'll look more like you. Suns spare Lume the trouble of having a complete look alike to me, who's also my kid." He began, thinking aloud to Skai. "While we've both done some shit." Terrible things, actually. "The world only knows about my worst ones. Yours are still secret. Maybe that's given you some favor and they'll let the baby be identical to you instead?" He asked, an eyebrow quirking down at the nymph against his side inside the store while Skai took ahold of his hand. A gentle look, one that appeared almost out of place from a stranger's perspective, touched Finnian's features at the gesture. "And you know that I don't burn too bad. I just don't tan that well." At his darkest skin tone, Bear reached the color of vanilla wafer cookies. The rectangle ones with the creme in them, not the dry, round cookies. "It's okay, Kirsche. I know." He uttered, aware of Skai's history with her own parents. It wasn't the best. Hell, Finnian never even met his father-in-law. Not that he was in a rush to do so. But rather, the dynamic of Skai's family wasn't the same as his own. While the Ambrose clan weren't all saints, they tried to stick together as much as possible. He chuckled under his breath when she mentioned espionage. "You can go back, if you want." He offered, looking over Skai with a hint of curiosity in his gaze. "Hell, the Dark World does need a new Head Hound." Bear commented, a corner of his mouth curling upwards when he spoke. There wasn't any rule that said that the Mistress of Mayhem could not also be the Head Hound, or Spy Master, too. But he doubted that she'd accept the offer, let alone even want it. Skai Ambrose was in a different stage of life than when the couple met. He smiled softly at the kiss on his cheek. "Water animals for 'em? Yeah, you'll definitely be their favorite for bath time. Probably won't ever want to leave the water." He paused, glancing back over at Skai. "Of course you'd have a kid who'll love the water as much as you do." Bear laughed again. "I do, yeah. I know you feel like you won’t be great at being a mom.. But I-" He stopped, eyes meeting hers as a belated thought came to him. "Did I ever tell you why I wanted to have a family with you? Build a life with you?"

At the compliment of being Super Dad, Bear blushed. "I don't wanna be that. I just want to be a good dad. A great one, even." He sighed. While Finnian's family were close, at times, they were nowhere near perfect. Neither was his own parents. As first-generation guardian faeries in the military, their utmost duty was to Southland. Its protection and betterment. Sure, they weren't always deployed simultaneously but... their presence were missed and their absences notable. The weight of Skai's head on his chest, along with her arms around him, centered Bear. Kept the Master of Mayhem's mind present as they stood together in the shoe store shopping for a child they had yet to conceive. "Okay," He let out around a small smile. "I won't kick my own ass. No need to threaten me, Your Grace." Bear quipped from above Skai's head, amusement warm and clear in his tone. "And I'll always do that. Give you the space you need." He promised, hugging his wife right back. Bear leaned down and kissed the top of Skai's head. "You weren't failing. And your body wasn't either. I don't care if it takes one year or a million millennia, I'll wait as long you and your body needs. I'm not going anywhere, Kirsche." Finnian all but reminded Skai. He nodded when she spoke of compromises. "I could've been better too. I shouldn't have shut down and assumed that you meant never. When you really meant 'not right now'. I could've been more open to trying to talk instead of thinking that this was a closed door for us." Bear nodded again. "So, how soon after the first should we try to talk about what's next? And if more kids are in our future?"

An absolutely wicked grin morphed Finnian's face at Skai's agreement to destroying the establishment if this memory haunted them. "It's a date then." The expression stayed on his face after she kissed it, the apples of his cheeks colored with a slight blush. "C'mon," He said, her hand in his own as he walked them towards the women's section. "Let's get yours first." Bear already knew the brand and model for the shoes he wanted them, as a family, to have. "Gotta make sure they look good on you." He laughed, the sound hopeful, at the vision she painted. "Is it cheesy that I want us to wear matching jogging suits too?" He asked her, blue eyes scanning the space for the correct shoe. "Here, let's see how they look." Bear passed Skai an open box containing the sneakers before walking her over to a nearby chair to try them on. "Is this still your size?"

She cocked her head to the side looking over at him. “Knowing you and those genes of yours it’s going to be a copy paste and I was just the temporary house the baby was in. Who else would I blame? You are the person without the tan.” She reached out for his hand. “I hated saying no, you know? I just wasn’t…I wasn’t ready back then. I didn’t expect any of this. You especially. I fully expected to be a spy for the rest of my life. To jump in and out of identities. I’m even still trying to figure out who Skai is. What she likes. Who she can tolerate so that her future kid can have other friends in life than their parents. But I knew you’d be a perfect dad. So of course you’ve been thinking about this forever.” She kissed his cheek. “I don’t know, probably the song, and getting to splash around, because I would make little water animals for them. Bathtime would be a fun adventure of cleanliness and playtime.” Skai laughed, shrugging. “You actually think a little person would look at me and choose to call my name first? Not a chance. I’m the supporting character in this. You’re the main character. I’m the angsty mean girl love interest in our life. So you'll definitely be super dad.” She still wasn’t sure she’d ever be a good enough parent so she knew Bear would absolutely be the go to parent. She would just be doing the best she could.

She wrapped her arms around him in a hug, resting her head on his chest. “As amusing as that would be to see, no. I don’t want you to kick your own ass. You might hurt my man. I appreciate that you gave me the space to cry about it and not make it a thing. It’s what my body is supposed to do. It just felt like I was failing. I had to work that out that maybe it just wasn’t time yet. That’s what I keep telling myself at least.” She felt so much less stress and pressure when she was with him. She didn’t beat herself up over what she felt were shortcomings with his reassurances. “I want to compromise at least and fine a nice medium with you. I should have expressed why I said no before. And in the future if we do have a baby, I want to discuss with you how many we see after and what’s next for us.” She was learning how to be a better wife.

Skai snorted and laughed at the notion. “I love you because I would definitely be up for destroying it if it haunts us.” She lifted the hand she was holding, kissing the back of his hand. “Okay. Yeah, let’s get some for everyone. That way one day we can take one of those sickeningly cute pictures with all three pairs of the same shoe if we finally find out we’re expanding the family.

#thread: skai + finnian #t: finnian ambrose

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blackberry-gingham · 3 years ago

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Jealousy, Jealousy | Wolverine x Fem!Reader

Chpt 1 | Next...>

Sick of fighting the X-Men's constant battles, our favorite Canuck has decided to go his own way. Back to a life of casual drinking, drifting, and fucking about... Logan finds himself looking for a snag for the night in town. All hope seems lost, until he runs into you, a fresh faced stranger who has yet to learn about him and his bs.

But, when thinks don't turn out the way at all the he expected... He can only assume it means the worst. With a mind made up to investigate your reasons for showing up so suddenly in this nowhere town, it might just lead our small, emotionally constipated friend down a path of self realization he never thought he'd tread....

tag list: @samatedeansbroccoli @smokeywhalee @mickeyperkins @the-goon-tm @tolovaj (Wolverine tag list open to additions or reductions, whichever you prefer lol)

tags: slow burn, still on my bullshit with dad bod stuff, except THIS TIME we have a confident big guy, well "big" in as much as wolverine can be described as such, emotional hurt/comfort

---

God, it's good to be free.

To be home.

No more Professor. No more X-men. No more fighting endless, meaningless fights...

But above all, no more fucking "will we, won't we" between him and all the ones who can't make up their minds about him.

A blast of freezing wind catches Logan in the chest. Feels great.

He drags a fallen tree from the edge of the forest all the way back to his little cabin. It's remote and mostly isolated out here. Perfect for a man like him-

A mutant.

Despite all the X-Men have done.. Feels like mutants still have to live on the fringes of society. What a fucking waste of his time it's been.

Besides... Even apart from all that "higher ground" bullshit, he was tailing after Jean for so damn long... He can't even remember why he put up with it all.

It was damn near time he stopped.

What business did he need with the X-Men as a whole anyway? So he can fight their wars for them? So they can throw him at Sabretooth, forget about it, and breath a sigh of relief?

Fuck that.

He's fought plenty of wars in his long, long life. No more.

He makes his money here and there. Odd jobs. Working lumber. Fighting in the bar rings. And why the hell not? He can't lose. Of course, that doesn't mean he doesn't pull punches and take a planned loss now and then...

Can't and won't are two very different words, after all.

Enough wins to earn what he needs... Enough losses to keep from arousing suspicion. He's been on the run all his life. Here, there, all around the fucking world. He doesn't even know that he can die, certainly won't be anytime soon either, but... Damn, is he ready to retire from all that hero shit.

He drops the trunk of the tree with a grunt. Long walk. Don't mean he minds though.

It'll be fine here for the night, but right now he really needs some timber. A few slashes of his claws does the trick. Just a couple logs, but it's enough to suit his needs for the evening.

Toss 'em in the hearth. Slash one set of claws against the others. A couple tries, and the sparks catch. Slowly but surely the fire starts to eat at the wood. Good enough for him.

Logan peels of his soaked flannel shirt. It's been snowing all fucking day... Maybe he'll swallow his pride and bring a coat sometime, but to be honest the cold don't bother him that bad. Besides, why hide the good shit?

He's not a man for mirrors and vanity, but one of the few original furniture pieces he found in this place includes a solid, log framed standing mirror. He keeps it against the wall, right where he found it in the living room.

Logan stops to admire himself a moment. God only knows his body's been through hell and back over the decades... He's been sickly thin, shredded with lean muscle, injected with metal- He looks at himself now, and he feels just the same about himself as he always does.

Softer now, sure, but- He gives a cocky flex or two, just enough to stroke his ego. Subtle little shadows and indents lace his arms even still.

Firm.

Strong.

Yeah... He's still got it.

Logan grins with charm and runs his fingers through his tussled mane. She missed out.

He shakes the remaining snowflakes out of his hair, and walks off to grab some dinner for the night. The stove works fine, but there's something about cooking over the fireplace that just feels... right. By the time he returns there's a nice, roaring flame going.

Turn the game on in the background. Warm up by the flames as he does his cooking. Sip a little whiskey as he works. No cigar though. He's been tying to cut back on the smoking.

Being short ain't all bad you know. For example, makes this hearth fire feel like a real campfire. Warms his bones even right down through the fucking metal. Logan sighs. Sips some tea. Takes a bite of his meal.

The Flames are winning too. At this rate, maybe he'll get to collect some bets next time he's in town.

Logan lays on his back in front of the crackling fire. Feels good on his skin. Hot, but not uncomfortable. Damn near pleasant.

Tomorrow he'll chop up the rest of the tree and sell it to the yard.

Been a while since he's been in town honestly. That's as he likes it, but... Gotta admit, it's nice to talk to someone other then the TV once in a while. He rolls over to warm his chest a bit more as the flames start to die down. With a tired reach, he clicks off the TV and stretches before curling up again.

It's a good life up here.

Maybe he'll take someone home tomorrow too. Make his week just a little bit better... Gettin harder to find chicks that aren't wise to his MO lately, but hey. There's always at least one taker.

Until... There isn't, it would seem.

Damn. Looks like his usuals are nowhere to be found.

Logan climbs up onto a barstool and orders something for himself. Glass of scotch and some poutine. Can't beat the best, after all. It's been a long day of work... He's not to keen on going home and staying unsatisfied.

He can wait around for a little while yet. Why not?

Shit. He's on his fourth glass already. It's been just a couple hours, and any chance he's taken has been shot down. And that's only if one's even shown itself. He knows all these girls. Even worse, they all know him.

Logan shoots back his drink and slams the glass down. God, he wishes he could get drunk.

He takes one more look around... Same old faces. With a frustrated sigh he digs around in his pocket to pay. Guess it's not happening tonight, huh.

A couple minutes more are wasted. He pays, but he winds up getting caught in a conversation with the bartender on the way out. Nice enough guy. Easy to talk to, even for a man of few words like himself. Makes him better at selling drinks too, he laughs.

Before it gets much later, he goes to take his leave.

Nothing sadder then a handsome fella like himself walking out of a place like this alone, but what can you do? He sighs, tired and caught up making plans for tomorrow.

Suddenly, a sharp bump yanks him back to reality.

Not a thing, but a person. He whips around to defend his pride, "Hey! Watch where you're wal-"

You look back and give him a disgruntled glare and nothing more. Don't even stop.

Logan unclenches his fists...

Now there's a pretty face, eh?

Maybe he doesn't have to leave alone after all. He straightens up. Rolls his shoulders. Once you're all settled in... Yeah. He can turn this around in his favor.

He catches up to you at the bar, licks his thumb and smooths out his eyebrows. Full of charm, he clears his throat harshly to get your attention as he leans against the bar top, "Sorry about that, didn't see ya, heh"

You hardly even spare him a glance, "Mhm"

Hm, not a great start. Not to worry though, he's got lots of cards to play, "Name's Logan..."

You continue to stay silent.

"And you are....?", he prompts, just barely starting to lose patience.

This time you turn to look at him. You glance the short distance it takes to look him up and down and then, "Not interested"

He'll let that one go. The height thing is hard for most women at first, but... They always come around, "Hell of a name", he jokes, "That what your friends call you, or-"

He cuts himself off. Judging by your face, clearly this approach is going nowhere. He stops, and decides to give it one last try... "Can I... Buy you a drink at least?"

"Why don't you go buy yourself some mints, and fuck off"

Welp, so much for his patience. He grumbles, doing his best to hold it all back. "Bitch", he spits, and walks off to the other end of the bar. Maybe he'll take one more drink before he leaves...

"Back so soon?", that bartender laughs.

"The usual", Logan grunts, "one more"

As a show of good faith, he slaps down the money in preparation to just pay and leave. He's got his drink soon enough and takes a swig. He growls, "Who's that anyway..."

"Dunno, blew into town a few days ago. Think she's here to stay. Or so I've heard"

"Hmpf, great..."

"Ah, leave her be, eh Logan? Can't have em all", the bartender takes the money and walks off to take care of other guests.

Logan looks at you with a long, sideways glance. He's been rejected plenty of times before, but... Almost never by someone he's just met. Most find him attractive he thinks... Some see him as an amusing curiosity, at the very least. A pity fuck, probably.

He doesn't give a shit about any of that though, to be honest. A lay's, a lay in his book. So what's the matter? He's not good enough for you?

That, and... Ever since his X-men days.... Well-

He's a little paranoid about strangers in his town. Especially ones as guarded as you're acting. What if somethings up? Could be worth sniffing around.

Besides, he doesn't mind hanging around a pretty face.

He goes off home alone that night. A few thoughts linger about the rest of the day, but most of them revolve around that catastrophe at the bar. Rejection hurts sure, but that was straight embarrassing.

As per his usual routine, he peels off his clothes and swaps his jeans for something more comfortable. For his torso... Maybe an undershirt, since it's particularly cold.

Logan slips the fabric over his body and stretches. Sleeping on the floor was fine, but he does so enjoy his bed too. When he lowers his arms again... He can't help but wiggle around to get some room in the thin, ribbed tank.

You know, thank God for being short, really. Means he didn't have to buy any new clothes, even after... Well. You know. He looks down briefly at where his abs use to be and his new belly protrudes. Just means his shirts aren't long as shit on him anymore.

With a little leap, he jumps into bed and gets situated. The gut don't bother him... Doesn't seem to bother the ladies, neither... Unfortunately, adding width isn't a replacement for lack of height. Even that don't bother him.

Sure as hell tends to be a deal breaker for most women though, much to his dismay.

Part of the reason why he's a one night stand type of guy, anyway.

Hell, he's tried being a one woman man before... Look where that's gotten him. Heartbreak, every time. He sighs and rolls over.

He's trying not to think of Jean. Or Silverfox. Or any of the others...

Never seems to work out... Although, even if it ever did, he's quite sure he'd just wind up being reminded all to harshly that being nigh immortal is a fucking curse when everyone else lives and dies a normal life. He makes a little whine, daring to feel just a lit-

He shakes out his head.

Fuck.

He's thinking about this too damn hard....

Logan rolls over with a growl. Fuck you, and fuck whatever the reason is you turned him down so damn hard. He just needs to find out if you're with Striker, or the fucking X-Men, and after that... He doesn't give a rats ass.

Angrily, he grabs the empty pillow beside him and clutches it to his chest. Just a little something to sleep against, he tells himself. Not the best replacement in the world, but... It's nice enough for when he's unwillingly made to spend the night alone.

Now, he's just gotta figure out how he's going to find out what he needs from you...

Well, good place to start is back at the bar, he guesses. That'll work out nicely... He's got a tournament participation planned in a few days anyway. Should be enough time for you both to cool off...

And if you're there, well... Maybe he can impress you enough to get you to talk to him. If not.... No big deal.

Besides, maybe someone else will go home with him instead.

#ooooo boy here we go #fic number three bc I have no sense of focus #wolverine x reader #logan howlett x reader

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feanorianethicsdepartment · 3 years ago

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Alright, I read your recent post and need to know - what is your interpretation of Maglor’s relationship with the twins?

askjdhslkjag my biggest self-inflicted problem in this fandom is that my take on maglor, elrond, and elros' relationship is so intensely detailed and specific i am forever tormented by none of the fic i read ever quite getting it right (from my perspective; i’ve read plenty of fic that presents a good interpretation on their own terms, it’s just never mine.) it’s simultaneously way darker than the fluffy kidnap dads stuff and nowhere near as black-and-white awful as the anti-fëanorian crowd likes to paint it, it’s messy and complicated and surrounded by darkness, and yet there’s also a sincere connection within it which mostly serves to make all those complications worse. angry teenage elrond is angry for a great many reasons, and the circumstances around him being raised by kinslayers account for at least half of them. there’s lots of complexity here, and i don’t see it in fic nearly as often as i’d like

(warning: the post... feathers? i already have an internet friend called faeiri this could be awkward - anyway, the post she’s talking about includes the line ‘everyone is wrong about kidnap dads except me.’ this post follows on from that in being as much a commentary about why various popular interpretations of both how the kidnapdoption went and the way people subsequently characterise the twins just don’t work for me as it is a setting out of my own ideas. i’m not really interested in getting into discourse here, i’m just trying to get my thoughts down. i’ve read fic with these interpretations before that i’ve liked, even, don’t take this as a Condemnation, aight? also this turned out long as hell, so i’m putting it under a cut)

i can never buy entirely fluffy depictions of kidnap dads

which isn’t to say i don’t read them! sometimes all i want is something sweet, for these kids to get to be happy for once. it’s not like i think their time with the fëanorians was completely devoid of laughter

it’s just. the pet names, the special days out, the home-cooked meals, it can get so treacly it stops feeling like the characters they are in the situation they’re in and turns into Generic Found Family #272

it soaks out all the complexity - which is the thing i am here for - and acts like oh, these kids were never in any danger, they were perfectly happy being abducted by the people who murdered everyone they knew, there’s nothing possibly questionable about this relationship at all

and... yeah. that’s not the characters i know. that’s not the context i know they belong to

i just can’t forget the circumstances that led them to meet

rivers of blood, the air filled with screams, a town ablaze, a woman choosing to die. every interaction the three of them have is going to proceed from that nightmare

(sidenote: i tend to hold it was maglor that raised the twins, with maedhros looming ominously in the background not really getting involved. it’s mostly personal preference, i’ve been in and out of the fandom since before this kidnap dads thing blew up and when i joined that was a perfectly standard reading)

(also the cave thing was a dumb idea, old man, if only because it implies beleriand had streams safe enough for children to play in at that point. the way it separates the twins from the third kinslaying is also something i don’t particularly vibe with)

probably my least favourite angle i’ve seen on the situation (edged out only by ‘maglor was actively abusive towards the twins’ which no no no no no no no no NO) is the idea that maglor (and/or maedhros, append as necessary) took the twins specifically to raise them

like, i get where it’s coming from, but it makes maglor come off as really creepy

(i have read fics where it is indeed played off as really creepy, but that’s not a maglor i have any interest in reading about)

(’mags 100% bad’ is just as facile a take to me as ‘mags 100% good’)

even if you’re saying maglor took them in because they had no one left to take care of them - i highly doubt they were the only children the fëanorians orphaned at sirion. idk, it always makes maglor seem much less sympathetic than i think it’s meant to

i prefer to think of it as more... organic? something that evolved, not something that was preordained. them growing closer gradually, the twins finding an adult who might maybe be on their side, maglor becoming invested in them almost by accident

and then the twins are so comfortable with the second scariest monster in amon ereb they frequently sass him off and maglor’s gotten so used to not hurting them he’s not even thinking about it any more. no one’s quite sure how it happened, but they’ve made a Connection

‘wait aren’t they a murderous warlord of questionable mental stability and a pair of terrified small children who’ve lost everyone they ever knew? isn’t that kinda fucked up?’ yup! that’s the point! complexity!

another idea i don’t like is the idea that maglor was an objectively better parent to the twins than eärendil or elwing

other people have talked about this already, i won’t rehash the whole thing. i will say that while i don’t think elwing was a perfect parent - someone so young, in such a horrible situation, i wouldn’t blame her for screwing up - i do think she (and eärendil) did the best by them they possibly could

this is one of the few things they have in common with maglor

something i come across now and again is the idea that sure, elwing and eärendil weren’t abusive or horrible or anything, but they were a couple of basically-teenagers with so many other responsibilities, there was only so much they could do. maglor, on the other hand, is an experienced adult who could take much better care of the twins

and...

first off, it’s not like mags doesn’t have a job. he’s a warlord, he has a fortress to help run, military shit to handle, lots of other stuff that needs to get done to stop everyone from starving or getting eaten by orcs. i feel like sirion had enough of a government there was plenty of opportunity for elwing to take days off and play with her kids, but in the fëanorian camp nobody really has the time to chase after a couple of toddlers, least of all one of the last points on the command network. they just don’t have the people any more

(seriously, the twins getting a formal education with tutors and classes and shit is a weirdly specific pet peeve of mine. this is a band of renegades, not a royal household; if there’s anyone left with those kinds of skills they almost certainly have more important things to do)

more than that, though - well, a quick glance through my late stage fëanorians tag should tell you a lot about what i think maglor’s mental state is like at this point. he is so accustomed to violence death means nothing to him, he’s lost most of his capacity for genuinely positive emotion to an endless century of defeat and despair, he hates everything in the universe, especially himself, he’s only able to keep functioning through a truly astounding amount of denial, and he covers it all up with a layer of snark and feigned apathy, which he defends aggressively because he’s subconsciously realised that if it breaks he’ll have absolutely nothing left

(maedhros, for the record, is... i’d say more stable, but at a lower point. maglor may interact with the world mostly through cold stares and mocking laughter, but at least his mind is firmly rooted in the present)

(on the other hand, at least maedhros lets himself be aware of what they are and where their road will lead)

which... this doesn’t mean maglor doesn’t try to be kind to the twins, or rein in his worst impulses around them

there’s just so little of him left but the weapon

he stalks through the halls like a portent of death and gets into hours-long screaming matches with maedhros and has definitely killed people in front of the twins

not even as, like, a deliberate attempt to scare them, but because when you solve most of your problems by stabbing them it’s pretty much a given that people who spend a lot of time around you are going to see you do it at least once

and sometimes, he curls up in an empty hallway, and weeps

... suffice it to say i don’t think elwing’s the more preoccupied, or the less mentally ill, parent here

just. in general, the fëanorians aren’t cackling boogeymen, but they’re not particularly nice either

no one has the energy left for that. not these isolated and weary soldiers at the end of a long losing war and the beginning of the end of the world. they don’t really bother to guard the kids against them escaping. where else are they going to go?

the sheer despair that must have been in the fëanorian camp after sirion, the knowledge that the cause cannot be fulfilled, that they are utterly forsaken, that they’re really just waiting to die -

it can’t have been a happy place to grow up in, under the shadow of loss and grief and deeds unrepentable, and the slow march of inevitable defeat

they would have had a better childhood if they stayed in sirion, raised by people who knew how to hope

but that isn’t the childhood they had. and despite everything i’ve said, i don’t think that childhood was an entirely awful one

yeah, see, this is where the other side of my self-inflicted fandom catch-22 comes in. just as much of the pro-kidnap dads stuff comes off as overly saccharine and simplified to me, i find much of the anti-kidnap dads stuff equally simplistic in the opposite direction

the idea that maglor and the fëanorians never meant anything to elros and elrond, that they had no effect on the people they became at all, that it was just a horrible thing that happened when they were children, easily thrown in the rear-view mirror...

that’s even more impossible to me than the idea that life with the fëanorians was 100% fluffy and nice

like, i’ve seen the take that elros and elrond hated the fëanorians from start to finish. they were perfect little sindarin princes, loyal to their people and the memory of doriath, spurning every scrap of kindness offered to them and knowing just what to say to twist the knife into the kinslayers’ wounds

... dude. they were six. hell, given their peredhelness, mentally they could easily have been younger

what six year old has a firm grasp of their ethnic identity? what six year old is fully aware of their place in history? what six year old would understand the politics that led to their situation?

don’t get me wrong, i can see hatred in there. but something else that doesn’t get acknowledged alongside it often enough is the fear

some of the stuff i’ve read feels like it gives the kids too much power in the situation. they’re perfectly happy to talk back to and belittle the people who burned down their hometown and killed everyone they ever knew, like miniature adults who don’t feel threatened at all

and, like, six. i can see them going for insults as a defensive measure, but it is defensive. it’s covering up fear, not coming from secure disdain

(and a lot of those insults sound, again, like things an adult who’s already familiar with the fëanorians would say, not a scared child who’s lost almost everything. why would a six year old raised by sindar and gondolindrim know what the noldolantë is, let alone what it means to maglor?)

(... i’m just ranting about this one fic that’s been ruffling my feathers for five years straight now, aren’t i)

i mean, i write elrond as the world’s angriest teenager, who snipes at maglor pretty much constantly, but the thing about angry teenage elrond is that he’s angry teenage elrond

he’s spent long enough with the fëanorians he has a pretty secure position within the camp, and he knows that maglor won’t hurt him from a decade and change of maglor not, in fact, hurting him

but as a small and terrified child abducted by the monsters his mother had nightmares about? he fluctuated wildly between ‘randomly guessing at things to say that wouldn’t get him killed’ ‘screaming at maglor to go away in words rarely more complicated than that’ 'desperately trying not to do or say anything in the hopes of not being noticed’ and ‘hiding’

(and i don’t think the twins were never in any danger from the fëanorians, either. quite besides the point that before they started orbiting maglor nobody was really sure what to do with them... well, they wouldn’t be the first children of thingol’s line the minions took revenge on)

(fortunately for them, maglor did, in fact, take them under his wing. by this point even their own followers are shit scared of the last two sons of fëanor, nobody’s going to mess with their stuff and risk getting mauled. tactically, it was a pretty good decision for a couple of toddlers)

more to the point, i feel like a child that young, in a situation that horrible, wouldn’t reject any kindness they were offered, any soothing touch in a universe of terror

in a world full of big scary monsters, the best way to survive is to get the biggest scariest monster possible to protect you. that’s how elros rationalises it when they’re, like, eight, mentally, but at the time they were just latching on to the only person around them who seemed to care about them

that’s how it started, on their end. two very young very scared children lost in a neverending nightmare clinging tightly to the lone outstretched pair of hands

as for maglor...

i’ve called mags evil before, but i see that as more of a... technical term? he is evil because he did the murder, he remains evil because he won’t stop doing the murder. hot take: murder bad

but that doesn’t make him, like, a moustache-twirling saturday morning cartoon villain. he is deeply unhappy with the position he’s in and the person he’s become, and he’s always trying not to take that final step over the edge

it’s not that i can’t see a maglor who is abusive or manipulative or who sees the twins more as objects than people. it’s just that that characterisation is one i am profoundly uninterested in. i do occasionally read fic with it, but it never enters my own headcanons

horrible people can do good things!! kinslayers can do good things!! the fallen are capable of humanity!! people can do both good and evil things at the same time, because people are complicated!! maglor is not psychologically incapable of actually taking pity on these kids!!!!

it’s... again, complexity. the fëanorians straddle the line between black and white, which is a lot less sharp in the legendarium than it’s sometimes characterised as. it’s what draws me to their characters so much, why i have so many stupid headcanons about them. pretending they fall firmly on either side of the line is my real fandom pet peeve

and, like, this moment? this sincere connection between a bloodstained warlord and two children who will grow up to be great and kind in equal measure? i may not entirely like the direction the fandom’s taken it recently, but that beat, that relationship, it still gets me

so no, i don’t think elrond and elros’ years with the fëanorians were an endless cavalcade of abuse and misery. i think there was love there, despite the darkness all around them

an old, tired monster, and the two tiny children it protects

maglor never hurts the twins, not ever, not once. his claws are sharp and his fangs are keen, if he so much as swatted them he’d rip them in half. instead he folds down the razor edges of his being, interacting with them ever so carefully. he has nightmares of suddenly tearing into their skin

seriously, the power differential between them is so great, maglor so much as raising his voice would break any trust they have in this horribly dangerous creature. fics where he does corporal punishment always get the side-eye from me

the mood of their relationship is... i find it hard to put into words. melancholy, maybe, like a sunny afternoon a few days before the end of the world. three people who’ve lost so much finding what respite they can in each other as the world slowly crumbles around them

there are times when it feels like the three of them exist in a world of their own, marked out by the edges of the firelight. maglor telling stories of the stars, elros giving relaxed irreverent commentary, elrond getting a few moments to just be, all their troubles kept at bay

they are the last two lights in a world sunk into darkness, the last two living beings he does not on some level hate. he will tear his own heart out before he sees them in pain

he teaches them to ride, he teaches them to read, he gives them everything he still has left. the twins should never have been in this situation, maglor probably isn’t entirely fit to take care of them, but it is what it is, and they take what love they can

(maglor depends on the twins emotionally a bit more than any adult should rely on any child. he’s still very much the caretaker in their relationship, but that relationship is the only one he has left that’s not stained by a century of rage and grief. he’s obsessed with them, maedhros tells him frequently. maglor’s standard response to this is to try to gouge maedhros’ eyes out)

(that particular darker side to their relationship, where maglor’s attachment to the twins turns into a desperate possessiveness - that’s not something i think i’ve ever seen in fic. which is a shame, it feels much closer to my own characterisation than the standard ways this relationship gets maleficised. darker, in a different way than usual. horribly compelling in its plausibility)

however you want to read it, i don’t think you can deny this is a relationship that defines elrond and elros’ childhood. they were raised in the woods by a pack of kinslayers, the text is quite clear on this

but i’ve seen a lot of talk about how elros and elrond are only sirion’s children. they are completely 100% sindarin, they love and forgive eärendil and elwing thoroughly and without question, they identify with doriath over - even gondolin, let alone tirion. the fëanorians - the people who raised them - had zero effect on the people they grew into and the selves they created

and that, more than anything else, i find utterly unbelievable

look, i get what this is a reaction to. a lot of the kidnap dads stuff paints the fëanorians as elrond and elros’ ‘real’ family, and i’ve already talked about what i think of the idea that maglor-and-possibly-also-maedhros were better parents than eärendil and elwing. i think it’s reductive and overly optimistic and just a little too neat

but to say instead that elrond and elros held no great love in their hearts for maglor, no lingering affinity with the fëanorians, no influence on their identity from the people they grew up around, none at all? that after it happened they just left it behind and resumed being the same people they were in sirion?

that strikes me as just as much an oversimplification. it sands down all the potential rough edges of their identity, all that inconvenient complexity that stops them from fitting into any well-defined box, and replaces it with a nice safe simple self-conception i find just as flat and boring as declaring them 100% fëanorian

we can quibble over who they call ‘father’ (i personally find that whole debate kinda petty) but denying that it was actually maglor who was the closest thing they knew to a parent for most of their childhoods, and that that would, in fact, affect the way they thought of themselves and their family, elides so many interesting possibilities out of existence

(i’m not even going to get into the most braindead take i have ever heard on the subject, namely that because their time with the fëanorians was such a small fraction of elrond’s total lifespan it was like being kidnapped for two weeks as a toddler and had no greater significance than that. do you not understand what childhood is????)

like, i tend to think of elrond as a child as being very loudly not-a-fëanorian. elros is more willing to go with the flow - hey, if the creepy kinslayer wants kids, elros is happy to play into that in order to not be murdered - but elrond is very firm that he’s not happy to be here and he doesn’t belong with them

(this is after they get over their initial terror, of course, when they’ve realised they won’t be fed to the orcs for the tiniest slight. even so, elrond only really gets shirty about it around people he’s comfortable with, whose reactions he can reasonably guess at. naturally, the first person he does it to is maglor)

elros calls maglor their father exactly once, when they’re... maybe early preteens? this is because elrond hears him do it and immediately loses his shit. they have a dad, elrond says, in tears, and a mum, and any day now their real parents are going to come to pick them up and take them home

... right?

it gets harder to believe as the years roll on, as their memories of sirion fade, as they find their own places within the host, as maglor watches over them as they grow. elrond still mentally sets himself apart from the fëanorians, but it’s more of an effort every year. life in the fëanorian camp is the only one he’s ever really known. he can barely remember his mother’s voice

then the war of wrath starts, and the fëanorian host drifts closer to the army of valinor, and the twins come into contact with non-fëanorians for the first time in forever, and it becomes clear just how obviously fëanorian elrond is. he always insisted he wasn’t like the kinslayers at all, but he dresses like them, talks like them, fights like them

the myth cycles the edain tell are almost completely unfamiliar to him, he barely remembers the shape of the songs of lost doriath. even these sarcastic commentary and subversive reinterpretations he made of maglor’s stories - those were still maglor’s stories! he’s been trying to guess at the person he was meant to be, but it’s growing nightmarishly blatant how little elrond ever knew about him

instead, the people he was born to are as alien to him as the orcs of morgoth. he is a fëanorian, through and through

... yeah, elrond (and/or elros) having an absolutely massive identity crisis upon being reintroduced to his quote-unquote ‘true kin’ is another angle i’d love to see in fic that i don’t think i’ve ever come across. all those potential grey areas around who they are and who they’re supposed to be sound utterly fascinating, and i think it’s the complexity i hate to see elided over the most

i really, really doubt they could effortlessly slot back into being eärendil and elwing’s children. not when they’ve been surrounded by, lived alongside, been raised by the people who were supposed to enemies for most of their lives

they just don’t fit into that box any more. they can’t

speaking of eärendil and elwing, while i do agree that they both (especially elwing) get a lot more flak than they deserve, i don’t agree that therefore elrond and elros were never the slightest bit mad at them and fully forgave them for everything with no reservations

because, well, they were left behind. elwing had no other choice, but they were still left behind; it led to the world being saved, but they were still left behind. all the best intentions in the universe don’t erase the weeks and months and years of waiting, of a hope that grew thinner and frailer until it finally quietly broke

that’s a real hurt, and a real grievance. even if the twins rationally understand that their parents were making the best out of their terrible situation, you can’t logic away emotions like that. it’s perfectly possible for them to know they have no reason to resent eärendil or elwing, and yet still harbour that bitterness and pain

(i did write a thing once where elrond loudly rejects eärendil as his father in favour of maglor, but something i didn’t add in that i probably should have is that elrond later regretted doing that)

(not like, several centuries later, when he’d grown old and wise. two hours later, when he’d calmed down. but he was still legitimately angry at eärendil, because the one thing angry teenage elrond was not lacking in was reasons to be mad at the adults around him, and before he could figure out if he had anything less furious to say the hosts of the valar left middle-earth behind)

(it’s another element to the tragedy of the whole thing. in that particular story, which is mostly aiming for maximum pain, the only thing elrond’s birth parents know about their son for thousands of years is that he hates them)

(and he doesn’t, not really. you can’t hate someone you’ve never known)

not that i think they couldn’t ever make up with their parents! fics where elrond and his birth parents work past all the things that lie between them and form a functional familial bond despite it all give me life. i just don’t like the idea that there’s nothing difficult for them to work past

i don’t like the idea that elrond and elros would naturally, effortlessly identify with the mother they last saw when they were six and the people they only vaguely remember. i can see them doing it as a political move, i can see them going for it as a deliberate personal choice, but i can’t seeing it being immediate and automatic and easy

no matter how great a pair of heroes eärendil and elwing are, that doesn’t change the fact that to elrond and elros, they’re at most a few scattered memories and a collection of far-off stories. and so long as the twins stay in middle-earth, they’re never going to draw any closer

compared to the dynamic, multifaceted, personal, and deep bonds they have with the fëanorians - who, and i know i keep saying this but i think it gets tossed aside way more casually than it should, are the people who actually raised them, their birth parents must feel like a distant idea

and that’s why i can never buy interpretations of elrond as 100% sindarin, a pure son of doriath, with no messy grey areas or awkward jagged edges to his identity. given everything we know about his life, it seems almost cartoonishly simplistic

honestly it seems like a narrative a bunch of old doriathrin nobles trying to manouevre elrond into being high king of the sindar or something would propagate. it's neat and nice and tidy, something that’d be much more convenient for everyone if elrond did feel that way

but i just don’t see how he can. this narrative is easy and simple in a way real people never are, it ignores all the forces pulling him apart. elrond being uncomplicatedly sindarin with the life he lives and the people he's close to - that doesn’t make any sense to me

which isn’t to say i think he’s 100% noldorin, from either a gondolindrim or a fëanorian perspective. (i find it a little more believable, given, again, who he grew up around and who he hangs out with, but it’s still a bit too reductive for my tastes.) it’s also not to say i couldn’t believe an elrond who made an active choice to emphasise his sindarin heritage

it’s not how i think of him, but it works. i don’t have a problem with other people interpreting the complexities of the twins’ identities differently

i just have a problem with people acting like it doesn’t exist

in general i think there’s a lot untapped potential that gets left behind when you declare the twins, separately or together, as All One Thing

they’re descended from half the noble houses of beleriand, and they have deep personal ties to most of the rest. they belong to all of the free peoples even the dwarves, somehow, probably and i feel like that was kind of the old man’s point? so many peoples meet in them, to say they wholly belong to any one species is probably an oversimplification

they sit at a crossroads of potential identities, and rather than narrowing down their worldviews to one single path, they take the hard road and choose all of them. that’s what you need to do, if you want to change the world

and, to bring this back to my ostensible topic, in my estimation at least this mélange of possible selves does include them as fëanorians! it’s not overpowering, but it’s certainly there, and the adults they grow into long after they’ve left the host still bear influence from their childhood

nothing super obvious, nothing that wouldn’t stand out if you didn’t know what to look for, but there’s something almost incandescent in how fiercely elros reaches out for his dreams

there’s something almost defiant in elrond’s drive to be as kind as summer

as for who they publically claim as their family... honestly, it depends. while it’s usually more tactically prudent for elros to connect himself to his various human ancestors, on occasion he does find a use for his free in with the elf mafia, and elrond, code switcher par excellence, is famously the son of whoever is most politically convenient at the moment, which is rarely, but not never, maglor

(in the privacy of their own minds, well, eärendil and elwing may have been the parents elros was supposed to have, but maglor was the parent he actually had, and elros doesn’t particularly care to mope over what might have been. elrond, for his part, figures that after all the shit maglor has put him through, the least that bastard owes him is a father)

but honestly? i think before any of their mountain of identities, before thinking of themselves as sindarin or gondolindel or hadorian or haladin or fëanorian or anything, elrond and elros identify as themselves

they are peredhil, they are númenóreans, they are whoever they make themselves to be. that’s how elrond finally resolved his identity, figured out who he was and found something past the pain and the rage

he wasn’t doriathrin, or gondolindrin, or falathrin, or fëanorian, or whatever else. he was elrond, no more and no less

and that person, elrond, could be whatever he chose to be

... elros came to a similar conclusion, with much less sturm und drang that he’s willing to admit. being able to go ‘hey, i can’t possibly be biased towards any one of your cultures, because i’m descended from all of you and i was raised by murderelves’ makes it a lot easier to unite people around your personal banner, turns out

the stories other people tried to force on them shattered into pieces, and the peredhel twins were free to shape themselves into anything they could dream of

and as the new world struggles alive, these lost children of an Age of death begin to bloom into their full glorious selves -

i just. i love the poetry of that. despite every single shadow that hangs over their past, despite all the clashing notes pulling them apart, they harmonise it all into a greater, kinder theme, determined to make their world a better place in whatever way they can

they fail, of course, but so do all things. the inevitable march of entropy doesn’t diminish the long millennia they (and their descendants) held onto the light

and their growing up in the fëanorian host definitely had a huge effect on the noble lords they became. you can see it in elros’ loud ambition to create a land of happiness and hope, elrond’s quiet resolve to heal all the hurts inflicted by this marred reality

it wasn’t a perfect time by any means, but neither was it a nightmare. it was what it was, a desperate existence at the edge of a knife where, nevertheless, they were loved

even after years upon decades upon centuries have passed, it’s hard for the wise king and the honourable sage to separate out and identify all the conflicting emotions swirling around their childhood. they never knew eärendil or elwing, true, but they also never really knew maglor

not as equals, not as adults, not as people who could truly understand him. he disappeared into the fog of history, leaving only childhood memories of razor-sharp, gentle hands

it’s messy and it’s complicated and getting any real closure would be like shoving their way through a thornbush with bare hands even if elrond could find the shithead, and yet at the core of it all, there is light. not the brightest of lights, maybe, but an enduring one

that contrast, above all, that note of warmth amidst the shadows, is what fascinates me so much about their relationship. three screwed up people in a screwed up world, finding a little peace with each other

and the fact that somehow, it does have a good ending - the children grow up magnificent and compassionate and just, they become exemplars of all their peoples, lodestars of the new world born out of the ashes of the old - that makes it seem to me like this relationship must have contained some fragment of happiness

but, fuck, all the darkness that surrounds that love, all the tangled-up emotions its existence necessitates, all the prefabricated self-identities it can never slot into - nothing about it is simple, nothing about it is easy, and i find that utterly enthralling. especially how, despite everything, that flickering light never goes out

well, i don’t think it does, anyway. my take on this relationship is both complicated enough no one else ever quite gets it right and well-defined enough every single ‘error’ in other people’s interpretations sticks out like a kinslayer in rivendell

it is an entirely self-inflicted problem, i will admit. other people are allowed to interpret those complexities differently from me, and it’s entirely my own fault i lack the :waves hands around nebulously: to write my own hypothetical fic on the subject at a pace faster than glacial

still, though. i do wish there was more fic out there that engaged with these complexities. a lot of the common fandom interpretations of this relationship just sweep it all away

#ask #my terrible headcanons #elros #elrond #maglor #elwing #earendil #feanorians #niphredilien #yellow feathered faerie #putting your old url in the tags for archival purposes #post nyanyannya askbox clearout #ironically it turned out almost as long as the songfic that clogged up my askbox in the first place #and it is DONE #fuck this took forever to write #stayed up late just to get it out the door so i don't have to think about it any more #this is a long ramble and i'm pretty sure the end is just me repeating myself ad nausem sorry #i'll admit to a certain pro-feanorian bias in my interpretation #but i also don't want elros and elrond to just. live in a neverending horrorshow for decades #the silm's cruel enough we don't need that #narratively i feel like elrond being All Of The Elves is a good mirror for elros being All Of The Humans #but it didn't really fit the angle i was going for #bleck #let's see how many followers i lose for this

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sindri42 · 1 year ago

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Ward is definitely a sequel, starting either two or four years after gold morning (most of the time its two, but he seems to lose track sometimes), after Taylor is gone and while humanity is trying to rebuild. The epilogue of worm is pretty much required, the teaser and interlude chapters are technically optional but do provide a bunch of early foreshadowing and some nice character insights you won't get anywhere else.

Ward has a whole bunch of extremely cool components, and goes into deep development of some of my favorite characters in the setting.

It also has a bunch of absolute dogshit components, and ruins some of my favorite characters in the setting in ways that don't even pretend to make sense.

It gives you huge revelations about cool things that were always part of the setting but Worm never had the opportunity to show, but then (multi-)global events continually develop in stupid ways because wildbow didn't know how to get from the state he left things in at the end of the previous story to the state he wanted things to be in for the next story.

Overall I consider it to be significantly lower quality, but there's enough good parts and those parts are good enough that I do recommend reading if you have the time and you like the setting or characters. Just... be ready to disregard the parts that make no sense, or openly contradict setting mechanics which were previously established, or butcher somebody's past characterization, or otherwise come across like it was done by a fanfic writer who didn't read very carefully instead of literally the same guy who created the original.

As far as preparing for fanfic is concerned, Taylor has no role in Ward. Rachel and Lisa both play significant roles, but aren't dramatically changed from the trajectories they were on at the end of the previous story. Aisha goes through some huge shifts since she's basically adopted all the Heartbroken after executing their dad, and those wacky traumatized kids make up a big (fun) chunk of the supporting cast. Riley is... nowhere near as big of a part of Ward as she really should have been; even the post-ward time-travel Riley-fics I've seen basically just pick her up from where the Worm epilogue left her.

And Amy... ugh. Ward makes it super extra clear at all times how much Wildbow hates Amy. Anything that was left ambiguous or up to interpretation about her crimes or the motivations for those crimes in Worm, is confirmed to be worse than whatever you were thinking of as the worst option. And then she constantly goes to great lengths to make things worse for herself and to try to kill off any sympathy the audience has left. There's a reason that most Amy-fic writers split their timelines off no later than gold morning. Like, I enjoy watching her be terrible and have terrible things happen to her, but there's a limit.

unblocking #worm spoilers, blocking #ward spoilers and #twig spoilers

couple questions:

is ward, like... good? i havent heard much about it

how important is not getting spoiled for ward. like am i safe to start following people back now

are the sequel teaser chapters at the end of worm's toc also part of ward and therefore i dont have to read them and can just read ward? or are they a seperate thing

is ward a sequel or prequel. or sidequel i guess but it would be hard to write a worm sidequel given that everything that happens in worm is so globally scaled.

so like. is there any worldbuilding or character development (the characters i think this matters most for are rachel, taylor, lisa, aisha, amy, and riley bc theyre who im most interested in) in ward thats super important, or can i get started on my fanfics right away

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retroellie · 4 years ago

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Dating Ellie Williams Headcannons

Summary: Headcannons for dating ellie

A/N: Have this because my last imagine was ass... I think i like writing headcannons way more than imagines lmao

Warning: TLOU2 spoilers, Mentions of death, PTSD, and NSFW/dirty talk

Word Count: 1.8k

- She fell in love with you when she first saw you

- She had just come to Jackson after the incident with the fireflies

- You being around the same age as her tommy asked you to show her around and tell her what’s what

- “Ellie this is Y/n, Y/n this is ellie.” Tommy introduced y’all

-Her heart stopped when she saw you, she couldn’t help the blush that was forming.

-She couldn’t stop looking at you when you were talking about the shops and sights around Jackson

- It seemed like you were liked around town, you were friendly to everyone and everyone knew who you were

- She will never forget the thing you said to her when you guys were in front of her new home

-”Tommy told me a lot about you and i just want you to know, you're safe now.”

-She felt for the first time she could let go, relax for a minute

-You helped her move into the garage, trying to make her as comfortable as she could be

- She wrote about you a lot in her journal, writing poems and drawing pictures of you

-You guys hung out a lot with Jesse and Dina but she would much rather hang out with you alone

-You two had become really good friends by the time you guys were 16, i mean Ellie opened up to you more than she did anyone

-Opening up meaning talking about her interests and some of her favorite childhood memories

-She was honestly too scared to tell you about her immunity and even more scared to tell you about her past, afraid that she was gonna scare you away

-You introduced her to cat and you definitely regretted it because cat liked her

-When they started dating cat was definitely the third wheel because you and Ellie were so closer

-You held Ellies hand when she got her tattoo, she couldn’t hide the blush than but blamed it on the pain

-You guys shared the same love for music, you showed her most of the music she listened to

-You would sleep over at her place a lot

-You guys would watch movies, talk about space and dance horribly to old music

-Y’all could never get bored of each other

-When you spent the night at her place you would sleep in her bed with her but it was as friends, Ellie didn’t want you sleep on the floor and you didn’t want to force her out of her own bed

-Ellie would always get so embarrassed when you slept over, she would always go into a gay panic

-By the time y’all were 18, she was head over heels for you

-You two were still best friends but her feelings got in the way so she was distant

-It got to the point where she didn’t want to be with anyone else, it was either you or no one

-She didn’t really have time for relationships so she didn’t really mind it

-She would play guitar for you when you came over, even attempting to teach you

-Everything she owned was yours and everything you owned was hers

-”God damn it, where is my Walkman”

-”Oh, I took it. Mine broke.”

-Ellie bashed on everyone you liked, Little did she know you liked her

- You liked the boy who worked at the bar? She had something to say about him

-You found out she liked you when you two were dancing one night

-Your arms were wrapped around her neck and hers around your waist, it was like a scene from a movie

-You both felt the tension, it made the butterflies in your stomach go crazy

-”I’m just a girl.... not a threat.”

-”Oh ellie... I think they should be terrified of you.”

-Next thing you know her lips were on yours

-The kiss felt like it went on forever until you pulled away, panting for air

-No words exchanged just a smirk and her pulling you out of the church

-She didn’t waste anytime, She’s been waiting for this moment

-Now that you guys were together, you guys were too powerful

-You guys spent a lot of time in her garage, i swear you basically lived there

-You guys could spend hours tangled up together or have heated make out sessions that lead to so much more

-Soft kisses and 80s movies

-endless sex i swear this woman is going to be the death of me

-I have said this before but this girl is always horny, i mean she still has raging hormones so she’s always on top of you

-She tries to highlight her tattoo when pleasuring you because she knows it drives you crazy

-She loves when you sit in her lap, it’s both cute and hella sexy to her

-Her kisses make you lightheaded, like you gotta sit down for a minute after she kisses you

-She finds your body fascinating, like it sounds cringey but she love everything about you body

-She likes to explore your body a lot, like what gets the best reaction out of you

-She’s kinda new to sex, she’s had a fling or two but nothing long term so now she really has to get this shit down

-She’s the top, i said what i said

-Joel has walked in on you two lots of times

-”Hey elli... OH FUCK. SORRY, I’m sorry.” He says while covering his eyes

-You both have to stop for a minute just to laugh your asses off

-Y’all were really loud too so like y’all got complaints a lot

-”Sorry, Y/n came over for a minute.” Ellie says busting through the door

-”Yeah i know, i heard y’all.” Joel joked

-She makes really bad cheesy pick up lines to you

-”You know I’m jealous of your heart, because it’s pumping in and out of you and I’m not.”

-”I’m literally gonna break up with you.’

-She never fails to make you laugh

-Her with her fucking puns mama, you can’t hide from her silly side

-Joel is a proud dad, he loves his lesbian daughter and her girlfriend

-Later on into the relationship ellie fully opens up to you

-You were tracing her tattoo one day, feeling the bumpiness of it

-”What happened?’

-She debated on telling you, Joel said not to tell anyone

-She gave in through, telling you about riley, her immunity, her and Joel's trip, even David

-She ended up crying, you’ve never seen her that broken down before

-You held her most the day, giving her all the kisses she needed

-When Joel died, you were basically always with her. Not wanting to leave her alone

-You were the one that found them. You shook ellie awake, Letting her sob into your shirt

-You brought her home, she could barely move. She was in so much shock and pain

-You cleaned her up and took days off of rounds just to lay in bed with her all day

-The nights were the worst

-She would wake up in tears, sweat drenched her body. She would bury her face into her chest, crying her eyes out

-”I saw him. All the blood..”

-”I know baby, it’s okay. I’m here.”

-you guys were still so in love with each other at 20, maybe even more if that was possible

-The trip to Seattle and trying to kill Abby really brought y’all even closer, seeing sides of each other you guys never had

-The fear and the defeat you both felt on that trip, it made ellie more in love with you that you stayed

-You two lived in a small farmhouse after the trip to Seattle, it was nice and quiet

-You lived like two cottagecore lesbians out in the middle of nowhere, it was a good change

-Ellie would love to paint you with flowers, she found that you and flowers together created a perfect masterpiece

-Ellie was kinda a city girl so you had to teach her a lot of stuff, you mostly read books about farms because you didn’t have a clue either

-You guys lived without pants, like no one was there to see y’all, no one to impress so like fuck it, who needs pants

-Ellie loved waking up to you in the kitchen, with messy hair and nothing but her t-shirt on.... Yes please

-To save water y’all would take baths together, it mostly always turned into bath sex

- Ellie was glued to your side, like wherever you went she was there with you

-She was very distracting, always kissing up your neck or moving your hips on hers

-I swear this woman was distracting without meaning to be

-When she was doing farm work and her tattoo would stand out, it made you want to jump on her every single time

-Sex with her back then was great but sex with her now was so much better

-She really matured a lot, she knew what she wanted and just how to do it

-Your pleasure came first to her, she loved the feeling of being able to pleasure you

-Don’t worry, you didn’t leave her out. You made sure she felt just as good as you

-She wasn’t shy so dirty talk was her thing

-”Just one more time baby, i wanna see you cum on my fingers one more time.” I’m so gross im sorry AHDS

-She would fuck you on literally everything in the house

-No one was near to hear y’all and y’all could do it anywhere and at anytime, it was fucking heaven for y’all

-Y’all were together a lot and although ellie loved it, she knew you liked your alone time

-She would go into her painting room and play guitar or draw, doing anything to keep her busy

- After a hour or two went by you would come in and sit on her lap, hinting that you were getting a bit lonely

-You were always there for her when she went through her attacks, telling her it was going to be okay and you were here with her

-”Y/N! I- I can’t.. can’t breath.”

-”Ellie baby, you're okay. just keep taking deep breaths for me, okay?”

-Seeing her like this broke your heart but you were nothing but patient with her, she was really thankful for that

-You never talked about joel or even riley, you knew those were sensitive topics so when she did talked about them you listened and allowed her to rant

-”You know, I think Riley would’ve really liked you.”

-”You think so?”

-”Yeah, she would’ve liked your weird taste in music.’

-Ellie dreamed about what it would've been like in a normal world

-She could see you two meeting at a movie theater, hitting it off and eventually getting married, Maybe adopting a kid or two

-She was so in love with you, no matter what you looked like or what your body type was. She loved you

!Credits to gif owner!

#the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us x reader #Ellie Williams #ellie williams x reader #tlou ellie

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raguna-blade · 3 years ago

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Persona 5, Makoto, And Cops

So, like...We can all agree that it's weird that Makoto want's to be a cop in the game right? Aside from general cop bastardry irl, there's like precisely one police officer in the entirety of P5 who's at all a clear cut good guy and even he basically just says out and out, super explicitly that the cops are like...Not great.

At BEST, at BEST, they ensure the laws are followed, but that doesn't always equate to justice being served, and it is hilariously easy for them to be made into tools of opression, and to be made into stooges of people who want to do wrong.

Like Zenkichi out and out says “You really shouldn't be a cop.”

But Makoto still want's to be, despite knowing this, despite agreeing with this, and it's a weird gap right? Of perhaps everyone in the group, she should know best how following the rules and laws can lead to people doing pretty screwed up things if her little stint stalking and then blackmailing joker and company.

And she's just a student council president you know? It's not like she has anywhere near the same authority as a police officer, and unlike Chie who (for sake of argument here) has pretty objectively Upstanding Excellent Cops in her neighborhood except for you know the one who decidedly wasn't but P4 isn't really dealing with Laws and their problems, so them not leaning into law enforcement is a problem makes sense. Dojima is a just dude trying to do his best and even here the only other cop of note is uh...A straight up monster who abused his position of authority to get away with terrible things.

But back to P5, like...The game isn't subtle about it's feelings about law enforcement. Every Single Shadow is represented in the field by varying kinds of law enforcement operative types. Guards, knights, actual cops, prison wardens, etc etc. The Ultimate Big Bad basically posits that humans can't follow the rules and for that need to be severely punished and so laws and rules more or less end up being the big bad foe here.

The motivation to be a cop is well...Painted as whole heartedly misguided at best. We never get to know anything about Makoto's dad, and he's her inspiration for that goal, but at the same time, we get to see the other daughter who I think it's safe to say ALSO had him as something of a goal and...Sae also doesn't exactly come off as a perfect avatar of justice here either.

She very clearly WANTS to be, no doubt, and the massive shock of the games events does change her trajectory, but she's been deep down in the swamp of the system and she knows intimately that well...It's a shit show at best.

So i'm circling back to it as...Why? What's the deal here with what the game is going for theme wise? The idea of internal reform I suppose is being suggested, but the game's also make it remarkably clear that that actually won't work.

I'd say even textually, not even dipping into subtext, the game is out and out saying that you cannot reform a system from the inside like that when it's that far gone. Between P5 and P5S it's made abundantly clear that even what is functionally in a metaphysical sense a hard system check of things going out of whack law wise like the phantom thieves (what with their flipping of the table) they can't actually solve the problems of the system itself being super fucked. At best they can stop it from going full on malignant, but the cancer is still there. If the people don't actually band together to overturn things that are broken, especially when it is well within their hands to do, it's not going to improve, it's not going to get better. It's a delaying action at best.

Like the Phantom Thieves can't save everyone. Akira Konoe bluntly makes it clear when he asks them and the PT can only really go...No we can't. If we knew sure, but we don't possess the ability to do that. It's outside our ability entirely to do so for everyone.

So...Back to Makoto then. It's abundantly clear, I think, that she's very much of the mold of she want's to be a cop to protect people. That's what the job description is, even if that's not what it is in reality. And I think we can at least say that she's not so naive by this point to think that if she goes in she's going to be able to reform things, not by herself. It's worth noting that her intended goal is to become a Police Commisioner, and basically form her own police branch under her rules and regulations which...Fair. Fine. There's something to be said for being an apt demonstration but it doesn't actually fix the problem at it's core does it?

Which I think pushes this into the funky grey area of things because I don't think she's precisely...Wrong to want to do this. As stated, I think the games make it abundantly clear that one person on their own can't make radical and deep changes. You need people and momentum and everyone willing to work and all that.

Certainly, I think, it would be tremendously easier to reform an organization if someone in that organization is willing to make calls against what they're doing presently. But by the same token, it's also clear if you're entering an organization to try and change that organization it's uh...Not precisely a good bet. Now there's something to be said for being willing to try it I think. While the game doesn't exactly indicate how it'll go, we can imagine that following the events of the game that Makoto wouldn't be crushed under the weight of it all and change for the worse....Though the question of if she'd be able to make her goals a reality are a different question. She has allies in that fight for sure, between Zenkichi, Sae, and (from all indications) Kaburagi, there is at least some element of reform at play, but it's also well...

The big ass conspiracy didn't exactly come out of nowhere no? And the cops at every level more or less were compromised to some level or another, and this includes these prospective allies.

But then, I guess this goes back to the Phantom Thieves themselves. They're not able to actually fundamentally fix the problems at play. They stop the worst excesses certainly, the most terminal aspects of it, although in doing so they are very nearly destroyed outright and with barely a thought. In that spirit, Of doing what you can with what you can it changes the read on the decision at least somewhat.

The Daughter of a well decorated cop, sister of a particularly well known ex prosecuter now defense lawyer, in addition to being a top honor student type, certainly gives her a bit more leverage to attack the problem, especially in the sense of getting into a position to actually change things. To say nothing of Joanna.

Taking her awakening quote into consideration

"Have you decided to tread the path of strife...? Very well. Let us proceed with our contract at once. I am thou, thou art I... You have finally found your own justice... Please... Never lose sight of it again. This memorable day marks your graduation from your false self..."

and the general story the game presents of Joanna as one who rose to the top of the organization she was in and shook it to it's core (doesn't particularly matter how true that is in reality, merely what the game says for this instance) it's clear that indeed that's her gambit, if not the specific trickster archetype she's supposed to embody (as opposed to Joker's completely outside the law rogue, Anne's Femme Fatale, or Morganna's Layabout by Day Vigilante by Night as off the cuff examples), of someone who appeared to all eyes to be a harmless simple part of the system until it was simply too late for them to do anything about it.

There is a solid arc there, and a story to be told, and I think in that light makes the continued ambition make sense especially given what we're shown of well...Uh, everything to do with law enforcement in P5.

Now if they actually communicated that idea WELL is um...probably a different story. I think it's there to see, but I can easily see this being overlooked if this was the actual intent. Though, thinking about it, the way the various trickster archetypes are shown to function isn't quite as clear as it could be, though I think there's something to say for looking into that.

Later though.

#Persona 5 #makoto nijima #theme analysis

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thenovelartist · 3 years ago

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A Blanc Slate, Chapter 10

<Previous

28. Domesticity

The following months were hard, but that was to be expected.

The big difference was that Marinette was over at Adrien’s place far more often than not. Whether she was cooking for him, helping him try to keep his thoughts straight, or just working on her fashion commissions in the background, she was there. And while he did complain that he felt like he was taking advantage of her by depending too much on her, she constantly reassured him she didn’t mind. He was her partner and her friend, both in and out of the suit. Helping him get back on his feet was hard work but something she was more than willing to do.

Once, the thought popped into her mind that this was what the vow “in sickness and in health” meant. And while they were nowhere near thinking of marriage—heck, even a romantic relationship wasn’t even on the table at the moment—Marinette couldn’t help but think on it anyway. After all, she’d certainly had a plan to marry Adrien at one time in her life, and she can’t say she hadn’t considered what a life with Chat would have been like. And if a possibility of them being together surfaced in the near future…

She shook the thought from her head. This was no time to be thinking on things like romance and domesticity. That shouldn’t have even been on the table, even if her heart throbbed every once in a while in reminder that she did love the man she was taking care of. Her best friend and partner. No, now was the time to focus solely on helping him recover.

Which, much to Marinette and Adrien’s relief, he was.

It was a slow process, but his appetite had been returning. He’d been able to stomach more food as of lately and keep it down without looking green in the face.

The fog over his eyes had also cleared up for the most part, and he no longer walked around in a haze. The exhaustion still persisted, and his mind still wasn’t fully on point again, but with the progress he had been making, Marinette was sure they regulate in no time.

And she was extremely thankful for it.

29. Roses

“That… is a lot of roses.”

Marinette couldn’t help but gawk when she entered Adrien’s house. She’d been given a key back before he’d even revealed himself to be Chat, back when she had forced herself into the role of Adrien’s caregiver. He’d given it to her one day out of exhaustion of the “game” she played, one titled “I do not care if I stand at your door for an hour, I will knock every thirty seconds until you open the door.” So, an agreement had been reached she’d always come over at a certain time and let herself in to check in on him.

Currently, the boy in question was nowhere to be seen. Instead, she was left staring at a large bouquet of deep red roses speckled with brilliant white lilies in a glass vase tied off with a lovely pink ribbon. In the middle of the bouquet was a glittery plastic stick that held a card that read “Marinette” on the front of it. It was a stunning sight.

Where did you even get those, Adrien?

And why?

After putting her purse down by the front door, she walked over to pluck the card off the stick, carefully opening the back and pulling out the pink card. Inside was a familiar handwriting, one that was steady now after months of recovery.

Marinette,

I don’t even know where to begin. I guess with a thank you. Thank you for everything. From staying by my side as Marinette and caring for me to insisting I’m still your partner as Ladybug and refusing to let me go to every other thing in between.

While these flowers don’t even put a dent into the debt I owe you, I felt they were a great place to start. Something beautiful for someone beautiful. I want to say that I’m ready to spend the rest of my life by your side paying you back, but that’s likely getting to ahead of myself. I have been in love with you for years, as you know, and have confessed my love to you as Chat multiple times. My love for you is still true, even though I know you’ve drawn your lines.

Maybe I’m reading too much into this and only seeing what I want to see, but lately, it feels as though those lines aren’t as hard as they used to be. Or maybe I’ve just gotten Nightingale Syndrome bad for you. Either way, I want to take the chance and put myself in your debt a little more by selfishly asking you to let me take you out on a date.

If your answer is no, I’m prepared for that. I never want to pressure you into something out of responsibility for me or out of guilt. I will still stand by your side as your partner and friend, forever.

But if your answer is yes, it would be one more thing of the countless you’ve done for me that I will be eternally grateful for.

Forever yours, in whatever way you’ll take him,

Adrien

When she finished reading, her hands fell to the table, letter still clutched in them as she tilted her head upwards in a vain attempt to keep the tears at bay. “Don’t cry,” she warned herself.

But even then, she knew it was too late.

With a beaming grin, she looked down at the card once more, scanning over the contents yet again. She only looked up again when she caught movement out of the corner of her eye.

Adrien, looking better than she’d seen him in the five months since she’d taken his ring, was leaning against wall. He’d somehow cleaned up with a haircut—how he had managed to keep an appointment like that a secret from her was beyond her but also gave her confidence that he was feeling well enough to manage on his own again—shaved, and dressed up in a pressed button down, a vest, and slacks. His eyes were now clear, clear enough for her to see the fragile hope shining in them, even from across the room.

With a smile she couldn’t suppress is she tried, she dropped the card on the table, scurried over to him, and threw her arms around his neck. He caught her easily, no longer unsteady or requiring the assistance of a wall or other solid object, and held her tight.

“Yes, I’ll go out with you.”

She felt the tension leave his shoulders as he squeezed her tighter, clinging to her like a lifeline. “I thought I was might have been asking too much or springing that on you too suddenly.”

“No!” she quickly assured. “I mean… it was sudden, but I don’t mind. Not at all.”

He sighed with relief. “Good. Good; I’m glad.”

She giggled. “You’re not normally so speechless.”

He chuckled awkwardly. “You have no idea how terrified I was of your answer.”

“You? Mr. Confess-on-a-daily-basis was scared?”

“Of this one, yeah. I think this was the scariest confession to date.”

Worried, Marinette pulled away a bit, just so she could face Adrien and meet his gaze. “Really?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Because this time… it felt like I really had the most to lose compared to any other time I’ve confessed. You’ve seen the worst of me, and you’ve faced my darkest side. You could have easily said no now that you knew that about me.”

Pursing her lips, Marinette considered his words. “The thing is… I… don’t mind,” she eventually sputtered out. “Because I’ve seen you at your worst, and yet I also know there’s no one else I’d rather be with. There isn’t anyone in this world who doesn’t have that hidden ugly side of them. But yours doesn’t scare me in the slightest.”

To say Adrien was speechless was an understatement. For a moment, he gaped like a fish on land before he finally grinned, letting loose a chuckle before blinking away tears in his eyes.

Marinette was quick to cup his cheek, gently swiping away the tears. Adrien reached up, laying his hand over hers. “Well,” he murmured. “Guess I really can’t let you go now, can I?”

Marinette grinned, her own eyes prickling with tears. “Who said I was going to let you let me go?”

“Fair enough,” he said, grin growing. “You’re stubborn like that. I should know by now you’re way too stubborn to let me go.”

“You better believe it.”

30. Trust

It had been one year since the day Adrien’s father’s mansion had caught fire, and although Adrien had officially been cleared of suspicion of killing his father, the public was still skeptical of anything involving the Agrestes, especially with Nathalie Sancour having suddenly and mysteriously passed as well.

After struggling with the company for a year, it had officially dissolved and Adrien was finally able to be free of that burden. Yet, the burden of guilt still weighed on him.

“We’ve been over this,” Marinette assured. At the moment, Adrien was laying across her lap while she gently stroked his hair, a habit both of them had come to enjoy very much. “It was an accident. You fought your dad as Adrien and ran, but then went back as Chat when you thought he was out of the house so you could snag the book that wasn’t even there. You ended up pushing him off you when he tried to choke you out. The fact he fell and cracked his head open on a fallen statue was not your fault, nor was it your fault a fire started.”

“I still don’t know what happened,” Adrien muttered. “I don’t think he had any candles lit. I thought I heard glass break, so did a lightbulb break and send sparks flying? Or maybe he was cooking in the kitchen and something happened there? I really don’t have any clue.”

“See? So you can calm down. It was all in self-defense. Don’t feel bad for Nathalie, either. You were the one that called an ambulance for her when she suddenly collapsed.”

“I realized why she did,” Adrien said. “Same reason my mom collapsed. They each had the same symptoms, and they both wore the peacock miraculous. It was likely broken the same as my ring.”

Marinette’s hand stilled in his hair. “They what?”

Adrien froze, his body suddenly becoming stiff. “Did I not tell you?”

“No!” she cried. “Excuse you, but when did you come to this revelation?”

“I really never said anything?” Adrien asked, panicking as he scrambled to sit up so he could meet her eyes. “I swore I did!”

“No, you did not.”

With a groan, Adrien rubbed his hands down his face. “I’m so sorry.”

Marinette sighed. “Well, at least I know now. I’ll be sure to work on that one next.”

“Sorry.”

“You’re fine,” she dismissed. “I guess it’s understandable considering how out of it you were. There were days you did not know left from right.”

“I’ll take any excuse you let me have,” he said with a sigh, still looking disheartened. Marinette was sure that if he was transformed as Chat, his ears would have been drooped low.

Cute.

“On that same note, how is the ring coming along?” he asked. “I know you’ve been working hard. Have you made any headway?”

A grin suddenly spread across her face as a sudden urge to tease him struck her. “Oh? Did I not tell you?”

His eyes almost got misty as he pouted at her. “I said I was sorry.”

“I am, too,” she continued. “Because otherwise, I would have already told you I fixed it.”

Adrien’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head as his jaw dropped. “Y-you did?”

“No.”

She laughed at the sudden shift in his expression, his hope being squashed as he glared at her, completely unamused. “You are cruel, ‘bug.”

Her laughter subsided as a warmth spread though her. “Did I also mention I’m really glad you started using that nickname again?”

His previous irritation faded as he returned her smile with one of his own. “I won’t lie: I missed saying it.”

“I’m up for hearing it for as long as you’re up for using it.”

“Good, because I don’t intend on dropping it any time soon.”

“I’m really glad to hear it,” she said. “For that, I think you deserve a reward.”

“Kiss?” he inquired excitedly.

A warmth blossomed on her cheeks as she giggled. “Well, that wasn’t what I had in mind, but I’d be willing to give you one of those, too. First, close your eyes.”

“Only one?”

She rolled her eyes. Kisses rarely stopped at one. She was very much okay with that, though. “Fine, two. Now, just close your eyes.”

He shut them, but then immediately cracked open one to steal a peek at her. “What do you have planned?”

“Just trust me.”

He shut his eyes all the way. “You know I do.”

“I do,” she confirmed. With that, she took his hand in hers before sliding a ring from her pocket onto his hand.

She didn’t get the ring halfway on his finger before he looked down at his hand in shock. “My ring.”

“Yeah,” Marinette said, lacing their fingers together. “I really did fix it. It took a lot of trial and failure, though.”

“How…?” He stared at his hand in awe before turning to look at her, then turning back to his ring.

She shrugged. “Magic and time. I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to fix the peacock in no time after this experiment.”

She swore she saw tears in his eyes. Whether he did or not, she still reached up to cradle his cheek.

“Hey,” she said. “Promise me one thing?”

His green eyes locked to hers, and she swore her breath caught in her throat at the intensity in them. “Anything.”

“Next time you have a problem like this, one so big your emotions get too much for you to contain, come to me first, and don’t push me away.”

She was right; he did have tears in his eyes, because at her words, they began to fall.

He grasped her hand tightly. “I promise,” he said, nuzzling her palm. “We’re partners, and I promise that I’ll trust you to be my partner and help me through the next time anything like this happens. But I just hope there won’t be any more surprises like that. Once is enough, and I learned my lesson.”

He meant it. Marinette could tell by his tone and gentle expression and the way he held her hand: tightly as though he was afraid to let go.

“I’m really glad to hear it,” she said, her heart fluttering as a warm, fuzzy feeling floated through her. “Now, I believe I promise you a kiss.”

“Two,” Adrien said, reaching up to cradle her cheek while he leaned closer. “You promised me two.”

“I doubt you’ll be able to stop so easily.”

“Since when do I ever?”

“Touché.”

31. Soulmates

His black suit never looked so good.

“Well, well, Chat Noir,” Marinette purred, leaning against the railing of her balcony with a cattish grin. “I thought you said I wasn’t going to see you again.”

“Unexpected surprises do happen, Princess,” he returned, shooting her a wink as he took a seat on the railing.

“And it’s such a purr-leasure to see you in your black suit.”

His own cattish grin widened. “For your purr-usal, princess,” he said with a wink.

Oh, how wonderful it was to have her cat back. She’d even keep up the stupid puns for him. “Hmmm, I sur-paws that you’re the cat’s meow.”

Dramatically, he threw a hand over his heart—

And nearly fell off the railing.

“Chat!” Marinette snatched his wrist, catching him in case he couldn’t catch himself, which he thankfully did.

“Heh, uh… looks like it’s gonna take a little more time before this cat can land on its feet one hundred purr-cent of the time again.”

“Not funny.”

“Relax, Marinette,” he said, sliding off the railing and onto the balcony so he could stand in front of her and wrap her up in his arms. “I’m almost totally back to normal.”

“Don’t push it,” she warned. “I still worry about you.”

“I won’t.”

“You almost did.”

“We were having a good time with my pun-hating girlfriend throwing them back at me. How could I not be awestruck and caught up in the moment.”

She snorted in amusement. “Well, the fun and games end when my kitty takes a fall he can’t recover from.”

He sighed, propping his chin on her head and beginning to purr, settling her down.

“That’s unfair,” she muttered, happily snuggling into his embrace. “You know I like your purrs.”

“I know you do. And it’s only fair for me to take responsibility for every heart attack I give you.”

She grinned. “I’ll hold you to that.”

“I’m more than happy to,” he assured.

With a sigh, Marinette relaxed completely against him, grinning like the lovesick girl she was. She was more than content to play around with him, but she was more than content to snuggle, too.

“Have I told you today how much I love you?” he asked, smile audible in his words.

“I think you have, but I’m always happy to be reminded.”

“Let’s see… I love you more than my cat puns.”

She gasped. “Impossible.”

“I know it seems that way,” he teased. “But it actually is possible, if you can believe that.”

“I’m not sure I can.”

He chuckled. “Well, let me put it this way: puns are the bread and butter of my life. But you’re my other half, and I really can’t live life to the fullest without you.”

“But you need bread and butter to survive. So wouldn’t they be more important?”

“They are an inherent need. I didn’t choose the pun life; the pun life chose me.”

She snorted, burying her face against him to hide her growing grin. “You’re such a dork.”

“Yes yes, I am. I’m a package deal, but you seem to accept that.”

“I do.”

“Which I’m so glad for,” he continued. “Because as I was saying, unlike the puns, I chose you. You came into my life and completed me in ways I didn’t realize I needed to be completed, and if you disappeared, I would be only half the person I once was.” He pulled away just enough to look down at her, his joking tone gone in favor of a serious one. “You’re my soulmate, and the biggest blessing I have ever received. And I’m so so thankful for you.”

Her heart felt like it could burst from her chest. “I love you, too, my kitty. You purr-fect me.”

He grinned, his green eyes shining and his expression seeming to brighten the night. “That was a good one.”

She giggled. “I learned from the best.”

#miraculous ladybug #marichatmay2021 #marichat #Fluff #FINALLY #XD #Thank you for your support #And sticking around through the chaotic schedule

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bullshittierlists · 3 years ago

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MAJOR SPOILERS FOR DANGANRONPA V3 (and probably the other games, too, just to be safe)

So, just as a heads up, I made this list a few months ago, I think in the middle of chapter 4. I was going to update it, but I realized that any feelings I had were just made stronger and the list was still relatively accurate. Here are my thoughts:

I see no god up here other than me

Kirumi Tojo - As you may know about me, I can typically tell who my favorite characters are going to be before I indulge myself in a series. This has especially rung true throughout Danganronpa, I was able to correctly guess Taka and Gundham as my respective favorites before actually seeing them in action. Let me tell you that Kirumi surprised me. I originally guessed K1-B0 as my favorite and while he’s still up there, he is nowhere near Kirumi. I realized she was my favorite the moment chapter 2 ended. Not only were her execution and plan wonderful and brilliantly done, her last-ditch plea to convince everyone to let her live sold her for me. Not only did this plea make sense, it almost worked and I kinda wish it would’ve. Her motive was almost completely selfless and she worked damn hard to escape. Her execution was the only time I cried during this game because I wanted so badly for her to escape, but I knew that all of her efforts were futile. I know her biggest criticism is that her plan from hiding Ryoma’s body was completely unnecessary, but I like to believe she was just nervous and overthought the whole thing. I mean, this had to go perfectly in order for her to save her country, of course she’s going to add a few too many steps.

Miu Iruma - Okay, I know this is going to sound fake, but I actually really love the dichotomy of her character. The way that she acts so self-righteous but is actually quite self-conscious really stood out to me. Of course she’s funny and hot, too, but I feel it’s important to really appreciate the way her character was written. It amazes me that she was written to be the least likable character in the entire series and still ended up being one of my favorites.

You’re the best

K1-B0 - Yes, I type out his name every time. As I already mentioned, he was my original guess for favorite character, but it obviously didn’t work out that way. He stayed in his position of first for a while, but I always knew it wasn’t meant to last, I just didn’t know which character would take his place. Even besides my doubts, I still love K1-B0, I just wish more could’ve been done with him in the earlier chapters. There are several opportunities for him to be a really funny character and have good interactions with Kokichi and Miu, but he just comes off as annoying. I feel like he only really started to be utilized after Miu died with Monotaro and I really enjoyed their dynamic, I just wish we could’ve had some of this side of K1-B0 before this point.

Kokichi Oma - This spot probably isn’t as subjective as I’d like it to be. Every time Kokichi was on screen, I would get visibly annoyed, but I knew I was in for a treat figuring out his deeper intents behind what he’s saying. The only reason I really like Kokichi at all is because he’s fun to analyze. It gets boring to analyze Nagito because his motivation is pretty much just a mix of “hope” and “he’s crazy.” Kokichi’s character trait of lying makes it so fun to individually analyze each of his lines to figure out whether he’s telling the truth and why or why not. Other than that, I guess he has some funny dialogue with Miu sometimes.

Gonta Gokuhara - I really don’t know. I know this is way too early to be unsure about characters, but I just know I couldn’t put him any lower, but I also couldn’t put him any higher. He’s just such a sweetheart, but that’s about where the substance ends. I adored every time he was on my screen, but everything that would’ve been fun to analyze about him just leads back to Kokichi. I still really enjoy his presence, though. I’d like a big Gonta hug.

Kaede Akamatsu - I’ll just say it, I think she would’ve made for a better protagonist. I’ll talk about this later, but Shuichi’s character development doesn’t really feel like it goes anywhere and the twist doesn’t feel worth it because of that. I think the twist should still have been incorporated, but with the roles reversed. Either way, we got what we got, and what we got was tears from Clair de Lune. But seriously, she really is a great pianist. I’ve been trying to learn the piece for ages and it’s still too complicated for me. I mean, it’s in 9/8 for God’s sake. Good for her, regardless.

Tenko Chabashira - Tenko’s a weird case. I didn’t actually care for her that much until quite literally a few lines before she died. Fun fact: I spoiled this entire series for myself before I ended up playing it and I’m still mad at myself. This meant that I was just waiting for all of the deaths to happen, especially Tenko’s. I was fully aware that every line could be her last during the seance, but I wasn’t aware that she would pull on my heart strings before she went. When she tells Himiko that she’ll do the seance in her place so she can talk to Angie, I literally almost started crying. Before this, Tenko was just kind of annoying, but not too bad, but this moment really solidified her spot for me. She really just wanted to help Himiko and I wish she had chosen a better target for her affections.

Hey, I think you’re pretty cool, I like you a lot

Shuichi Saihara - Time to elaborate on what I said for Kaede. I actually really enjoyed Shuichi’s character development throughout the first three chapters. Before coming to Hope’s Peak, he was afraid to hurt people with his detective skills. Kaede notices this and helps him through it, passing the reins to Kaito once she passes. Shuichi convicts Kaede and later Kirumi, much to everyone’s detriment, but they’re all okay with it (Nobody was really super sad about Korekiyo to begin with, lol). Then, starting in chapter 4, everyone just kinda flips on him. Shuichi + the rest of the gang - Kokichi all believe that Gonta is innocent and Shuichi tries to prove this. Instead of supporting him, everyone (especially Kaito) tries to... stop him??? from proving it??? They’re all just in agreement that it wasn’t Gonta, but don’t want to proceed with the investigation to figure out who it was instead. It’s really frustrating and made my overall experience much less enjoyable. This is bumped up a few notches in chapter 5 with Maki. I understand that she was part of the whole case, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying that she won’t let me prove Kaito was the victim. It just feels like the character development was all for nothing and every student feels like a human obstacle (except K1-B0, of course). Still relatable and emo, though.

Rantaro Amami - I would make the joke everyone expects, but I’m on my laptop and I don’t know how to get to the emoji keyboard.

Ryoma Hoshi - I genuinely don’t have anything to say about Ryoma. He’s my halfway point because I don’t have anything particularly for him and I don’t have anything particularly against him, either. Go off, funky little cat man.

Kaito Momota - He got on my nerves in chapter 4, but he was a genuinely sweet character that I really enjoyed talking to. Any time he would talk about the stars, I would swoon because he’s just such a natural romantic. Not really my type, though. Very average.

Monophanie - Legally you can’t ask me why the monokubs are where they are. She’s voiced by Natalie Hoover (Sonia) and I guess that’s my only reasoning.

Monotaro - I really just liked his interactions with K1-B0 in chapter 4. Other than that, I greatly disliked his and Monophanie’s presence in Gonta’s execution. 0/10 worst use for monokubs.

Monodam - A nice, non-distracting addition to Korekiyo’s execution. But he had so much potential and just threw it all away. Apparently I’m a basketball dad from a high school movie now.

I remember you

Angie Yonaga - Many times, I’ve found myself asking who I ship from the series and this love triangle comes to mind. Of Angie, Himiko, and Tenko... I only really like Tenko. I don’t hate Angie’s cult stuff as much as everyone else seems to, but she didn’t have nearly enough of a presence for me to latch onto outside of the cult stuff, which was funny, I will admit.

Maki Harukawa - I was so excited the whole game for her to get cool. I knew she was going to get cool, I just didn’t know when or how. But then, it was chapter 5 already and she hadn’t gotten cool in my eyes yet. I was really meh on her by that chapter anyway, but her being annoying really knocked her down a few pegs. She got a couple extra points for surprising me during the case, but not enough to bump her up any spots.

Himiko Yumeno - I was rooting for her to be crushed under the rock at the end. She was fine before chapter 3, but then they tried to develop her with the Akane treatment and it didn’t work for me at all. She just got on my nerves during the third trial and continued to contribute nothing throughout the rest of the game. During chapter 5 and 6, it’s like the writers just completely forgot that she was there. This would’ve been fine if they weren’t the last couple of chapters and she was one of about 6 people left alive. She had a role to play and didn’t play it in the slightest. The most she was utilized after chapter 3 was as Miu’s replacement post-chapter 5. Someone needed to fill the dirty jokes quota and I guess Himiko was chosen. #GiveTenkoABetterLoveInterest2021

Monosuke - The only thing I remember him doing throughout the entire game was distract me from Kirumi’s exectuion. Not a fan.

You are the worst. Literal scum. Leave this planet and never return

Korekiyo Shinguji - Okay, listen. He’s not that bad. His design is actually one of the best, in my opinion and I love his dedication to his craft. However, he just creeps me out whenever he’s on screen and I’d prefer not to be around him. It’s not even the sister thing, I honestly think that’s funny and a nice change of pace, but his overall demeanor is creepy. Not to mention he’s played by Todd Haberkorn and he’s been in one too many roles recently. Hopefully I’ll get over it, but as for now, that loses him points.

Tsumugi Shirogane - I know, not exactly an unpopular opinion. She’s just annoying and downright pisses me off a lot of the time with her “plain” shtick. I already knew she was going to be the mastermind, so most of the game was just me waiting for her to reveal it. I swear, I almost couldn’t take it every time she said something like, “What if there isn’t a mastermind?” “What?? There’s a mastermind????” Just stfu Tsumugi. You all are lucky I don’t have the energy to talk about 3-6 right now.

Monokid - Hate the tongue sprite, that’s literally the only reason he’s down here. He’s also kind of annoying, but made the best addition to an execution out of all of the monokubs. His death was one of the few things that surprised me in this game and it was a welcome twist. I was sick of him by this point, but was still incredibly shocked when he was pushed into the execution. Then, his severed head rolls out to all of the students looking on in shock at Kaede’s death. Masterful. Still hate the tongue sprite.

There we go. Definitely my least favorite cast out of the whole series, but it’s still fun to love on and hate on a lot of the characters, as per usual. There are just a few too many in the middle tier (metaphorically speaking) that are either uninteresting or just don’t get their time to shine. Maybe they’ll eventually grow on me more, but I doubt it.

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queenxxxsupreme · 4 years ago

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Ahhhhhhh your dad!witchers are giving me LIFE. If you're feeling up for it, what would be the reactions of the witchers when they learn their S.O. is pregnant? Sorry if this isn't the right way to make a request!!

A/N: No babe you did perfect!! This is a great way to make a request!! I’m so sorry it took so long for me to finish!! And I hope it’s what you wanted :)

ALSO just a little reminder that requests are open! I prefer them in my ask box but you can also dm me!! I’m always open to talking to you guys! Here is the link to my masterlist for more dad!witchers or other Witcher characters. Here is the link if you’d like to add yourself to my taglist.

Warnings: mentions of pregnancy, some angst, mostly fluff

Lambert

“Sit still, Lambert.” You told him, dabbing at the cut above his eye. He hissed and jerked away, bringing his hand up to hold your wrist away from him.

“Could you be a little more gentle? Fucking hell. Feels like you’re trying to rub off my gods damned face.”

“I am not. You’re just being a baby.” You brought your other hand up to hold his cheek, keeping his face where you wanted it. “Now are you going to suck it up and let me help you or are you going to be an ass about it?”

He shook his head, pulling your hand from his face as he stood up.

“I don’t have to deal with this.”

“Well this is the consequence of you starting a fight with a dozen men at the tavern, Lambert.” You threw the rag down on the table and put your hands on your hips. “I get pissed.”

“I don’t see why you’re pissed, Y/N! I did it for you! Most women find it endearing when a man fights for her honor.”

“I can fight for my own honor. I don’t need you to knock out an entire room full of men just because you can!”

“The bastard fucking grabbed your ass, Y/N!” Lambert turned to face you. “You thought I was gonna sit idly by and let you punch him once or twice?”

“His friends did nothing to me. They didn’t deserve to be beaten to bloody pulps.”

“They did if they were friends with that asshole.” He turned to walk away but you weren’t done yet.

“Lambert, come back here and sit down. I need to finish looking at your damn face to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’ll be fine. They’ll heal up in a couple hours.”

“I don’t care if they heal up in a couple seconds. Come back here and sit down so that I know you are okay.”

He sighed heavily, turning around to face you.

“Woman, you drive me fucking insane.”

“Good.”

“I’m a witcher! Cuts and bruises aren’t going to hurt me. I’m fine!”

You glared at him, arms crossed tightly over your chest.

Why couldn’t he just listen to you? Why couldn’t he give you peace of mind? You just wanted to make sure he was okay, for crying out loud! You knew he would heal quickly, but your stomach still churned with the thought of him being hurt.

“Lambert. Come sit down. I won’t tell you again.”

“You’re not my fucking boss, Y/N.” He shook his head.

“But I am yours to watch over and protect, and you are mine. Come sit, now.”

“Not now.” He pulled the front door open.

“I’m pregnant!” The words came out rushed and urgent. Your hands fell to your sides, curling into fists.

The stubborn witcher stopped in his tracks. He didn’t turn to face you, not yet. But you could see the way he tensed up, almost hearing the breath sucked in through his parted lips.

Tears sprung from nowhere, trailing down your cheeks. Your knees became shaky. You pulled a chair at the table out and sat down, hunched forward with your elbows on your knees.

“I-I’m pregnant.” You repeated, but this time it was more quiet and gentle. “And I am absolutely afraid of-of having a baby, especially with you, Lambert.”

He turned around in the doorway but he couldn’t move any further.

You shook your head, sitting back on the chair and wiping your cheeks.

“You’re reckless. You don’t think about how your decisions could affect you in the long run. You act on impulse, on anger.” You paused for a moment to bite your bottom lip. “I love you more than you could ever believe. But I-I am afraid to have a child with you.”

When he said nothing, you looked up at him. His jaw was locked, brows drawn together just slightly as he gazed at you.

“How do…. How do you….?” He couldn’t figure out how to say the word, to say that you were pregnant. The word got caught in his throat and left a bad aftertaste.

“I’m late.”

“You’re never late.”

“No, you….” You stopped yourself from calling him an idiot. You shook your head and rubbed your brow. “That time of the month hasn’t happened in nearly two months.”

He was quiet for a few more moments before taking a deep breath, realizing what you were saying and what was happening.

“Oh, fuck me.” He brought his hand up to rub his face.

“I did, love, and this is the result of that.”

He snorted at your terrible joke.

His hands rested on his hips as he gazed at you, unsure of what to do, of what to say.

“You’re positive this is…. That you’re….”

“Yes. If I had any doubts, I wouldn’t have told you. And if-if you don’t want this, then I understand. I do. You didn’t-You didn’t sign up for this, for a baby. I won’t hold it against you. It’s completely okay.”

“Hold it against me?” He repeated, finally taking a step back into the house. “If I-If I bail on you? If I leave you for you having a-a…. a thing?” He gestured to his stomach.

You dropped your gaze to your hands.

“Do you really think that low of me?” Lambert’s voice was a quiet whisper, almost timid and unsure. He didn’t know if he wanted to hear your answer.

“No, Lambert. I just-I don’t want to make you feel trapped.” You sniffled.

The witcher was kneeling down in front of you before you knew it, taking your hands and holding them in his own.

“I would never leave you to handle this on your own.” His voice was gentle, tender. You’d only heard this tone when he helped you through a panic attack or calmed you down after a bad nightmare.

Lambert brought his hand up to cup your cheek, thumb brushing tears away.

“I-I love you, Y/N.” He murmured, leaning in to place a velvet kiss on your lips. His hand came up to hold the back of your head, keeping your forehead against his lips. “I love you, bug.”

“I love you.” You whispered, eyes closing tightly as tears trailed down your cheeks.

Eskel

Eskel listened to the sound of the fire crackling the hearth, to the sound of Lil Bleater snoring all the way out in the barn.

The night was quiet, but also so lively. There were many noises, many things to keep the witcher from sleeping. It wasn’t just the noise either. There were so many thoughts going through his mind. Any time he tried to close his eyes, the worst ones would make themselves known.

So instead of wasting his time and trying to sleep, he laid on the bed with his head on your stomach. You had been brushing your fingers through his dark hair in an attempt to calm him, but you ended up falling asleep.

Eskel didn’t mind though. It was relaxing just to watch you rest, to know you trusted him enough to close your eyes and fall asleep.

He closed his eyes, listening more intently to what was going on around your home.

There was a herd of deer nearby. They were slowly making their way closer and closer to your garden.

A fox had already snuck into your garden through a hole in the fencing caused by Lil Bleater earlier in the day.

Eskel sighed, knowing very well he’d have to fix the fence in the morning.

But then there was another sound, one closer than the creatures outside. It was a slow thump, quiet and gentle. It was almost…. a heartbeat.

Eskel lifted his head, brows drawing together as he looked around the room. He wasn’t sure if he expected to see something or not.

He sat up, brushing a few stray pieces of hair back out of his eyes, and looked down at you.

That was when he realized the sound was coming from you. It was a heartbeat…. in your stomach.

His jaw locked, muscles tensing as he realized what it was that was making the noise.

There was no way you were pregnant. You couldn’t be. You both were always so careful. And besides, it was extremely difficult for witchers to have children, but it wasn’t impossible.

Eskel ran a hand over his face, shaking his head. No, no. He had to be dreaming. Maybe it was the lack of sleep finally getting to him.

Still, he couldn’t help but look down at your stomach.

You shifted in the bed, spooking Eskel. He jolted a little but it didn’t seem to bother you. You rolled over on to your side, lips parting.

What if you didn’t know you were pregnant? What if you were keeping it from him on purpose? What if it wasn’t his?

Eskel shook his head, realizing how dumb the thought was. You loved him. He could see it in the way you looked at him, the way you smiled when he was near and when you leaned into his touch when he was close enough.

But what if you were keeping it from him because you didn’t want him to know? What if you didn’t want to have a child with him? With a scarred and mutilated witcher?

***

You woke up feeling someone brush their hand over your hair. You rubbed your eyes and peered up at Eskel. He was on his side propped up on one elbow facing you, occupying himself by brushing your messy hair down with his hand.

“Good morning.” You smiled up at him, yawning and closing your eyes as you scooted closer to nuzzle your face into his chest.

“Morning, doll.” He dipped his head down to kiss your head.

Eskel didn’t want to frighten you, to scare you, but he really wanted to know if you knew. He needed to know. But he wasn’t willing to wake you up if you were going to go back to sleep. Your rest was more important than his sanity.

So as you drifted off to sleep again, he focused on drawing shapes into your arm.

A few more hours passed and you woke up once more.

“How did you sleep?” He asked.

You rolled over on to your back, swiping your hair away from your face.

“Good.” You hummed, reaching up to cup his jaw. “How about you?”

“I, uh, couldn’t.” He cleared his throat, turning his head away from you to look across the room at nothing in particular.

“Not even a little?” You sat up, frowning.

He shook his head.

“Too much on my mind.”

You found it weird that Eskel didn’t look at you. It was like he was avoiding your gaze, like he couldn’t look you in the eye.

“What’s….. on your mind, Eskel?” You asked, tilting your head to the side a little.

He shook his head, running a hand over his face.

“Nothing.”

“I don’t believe you.” You reached out to stop him from getting up, your hand finding his arm. “Look at me, Eskel.”

With a soft sigh, his yellow eyes flickered up to you.

“Tell me, please.” You drew your eyebrows together and pouted just a little, hoping he’d comply.

He held your gaze for a few heartbeats before letting out a soft breath. He leaned back, shoulders slumping and eyes falling to his hands.

How was he supposed to tell you that you were carrying a baby? His baby?

“You’re pregnant.”

The audible gasp that left your lips was enough to confirm his thoughts.

“How-How do you….?” You couldn’t form a complete sentence. Your hand came up to hold your stomach.

“I can hear its heartbeat.” He answered quietly. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

You looked down at your stomach and then back to your witcher. You closed the space between you and him and cupped his jaw with both hands. You tilted his face up, swiping the unruly pieces of dark hair from his forehead.

“Don’t get that tone, Eskel.” You murmured.

“What tone?”

“The tone that tells me you’ve been stuck in your head too much, that you’re having too many bad thoughts.”

You pressed your lips together, studying his golden eyes.

“I didn’t tell you when I found out because I wanted to wait. I wanted to do something special. I was going to make you dinner and we were going to go for a walk to town and I was….” You trailed off, the excitement in your veins fizzling out when you saw that he still looked sad. “I promise I was going to tell you, Eskel. I’m-I’m sorry I didn’t sooner.”

“It’s not that, Y/N.” He shook his head, gently pulling your hands from his face. “I just…. What if I’m not good enough?”

Tears blurred your vision of the handsome witcher before you. You quickly wiped your cheeks before leaning in to kiss his lips. Your hand came up to the back of his neck, fingers gently tangling in his dark hair.

“You are going to make an amazing father, Eskel.” Your words were whispered against his lips, your breath warm.

His hand found your jaw, calloused pad of his thumb brushing across your cheek.

He finally smiled, then chuckled softly, opening his eyes to meet your gaze.

“I’m going to be a dad.”

Geralt

You hummed softly, folding Geralt’s clean clothes as he gathered things from the other room. You were sitting on the edge of the bed, listening to your witcher move about in the main room, gathering what things he might need for the Path.

You put one of his shirts down, your fingers brushing over the gray material. Your eyes were focused on the buttons but your mind was elsewhere.

You had put off telling him that you were expecting, thinking you’d be able to find the time to tell him the exciting news. However, duty called and the witcher was needed. Word had traveled that a town a few hours away was under attack by a pair of wyverns. Geralt had mentioned needing to leave soon for his duties, but this meant he’d leave sooner.

“Dove?”

You lifted your head, finding him standing in the doorway. He was leaning against the frame, holding a few vials in his hand.

“Yes, love?”

“You’ve been awfully quiet all day.”

“Just busy.” You answered, offering him a gentle smile.

He nodded, looking down to the vials.

“I know I’m leaving sooner than expected…. and I am sorry.”

“Don’t be, Geralt.” You shook your head. “It’s your duty. Don’t apologize for it.”

Geralt sighed, moving into the room. He put the vials down on your vanity and came to the bed. He pushed the clothes that you had neatly folded, messing them up.

“Geralt!” You teasingly smacked his arm. He smiled a little, sitting down in front of you.

“We had plans.” He said, taking your hand in his. “We were going to take a little trip to the coast. You were finally going to teach me how you make such delicious bread.”

“I can teach you another time.” You squeezed his fingers. “And there will be time later for the coast.”

He nodded, bringing your hand up to kiss your knuckles.

“I had a surprise for you, you know.” Your heart began to beat faster and you felt a little tingly. The smile on your lips grew. You brought your hand up to his cheek, cupping his jaw and brushing your thumb over his skin.

“Do I get to know what it is?” He raised his brows just slightly.

“We are going to be having a little one.” You giggled.

His eyes widened and he looked down to your stomach.

“You're…. You're pregnant?”

“Yes.” You nodded. “We’re going to be parents, Geralt.”

A smile broke out across his lips, his hand coming up to rest on your stomach.

“Are-Are you sure?” He asked quietly, husky voice tender and sweet.

“I’m positive.” You nodded.

Geralt brought his eyes back down to your stomach before pulling you in for a kiss. His hand came up to your cheek, the pad of his thumb trailing over the apple of your cheek. His hand that was on your stomach slid around to your side before he carefully drew you into his lap.

“I can’t believe it. Is it a boy or girl?”

“Love, we won’t find that out until the baby is born.” You giggled softly.

“How long until that?”

“Oh, we have a while.”

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#dad!witchers #witcher geralt #witcher lambert #witcher eskel #geralt of rivia #eskel #lambert #the witcher #the wild hunt #kacey answers #anon

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