#he’s my cope when i feel like awful just deal with it

[emeraldotter]

where am i

[youngpettyqueen]

booking a doctor's appointment for next week so that I have a week to come to terms with and accept the fact that im going to be asking about getting a cane

[lilgynt]

want to reach out to my brothers about what’s going on with my mom and how it’s effecting me but realistically i know they don’t care and even if they did they can’t do anything about it so im just skipping the reaching out and subsequent conversation that will just make me feel worse which like yes im isolating myself further in the abuse/gaslighting and letting myself sink further into it etc etc etc no one cares pass the weed and alcohol every night

[avocado-writing]

Hey there, if you’re still doing requests for BG3... I'm terribly angry about something big and outside of my control at the moment. Could you let me know what you'd think the BG3 companions do if Tav started self destructing? Like Tav passing harsher judgments, snapping at neutral NPCs, or fighting more dangerously and recklessly with bad guys?

Oooo the angst possibilities! Fun! Going to write like you’re self destructing due to stress, and you’re picking unhealthy coping mechanisms. Here we go:

Astarion

at first probably thinks that it’s quite funny. We know he enjoys seeing a little bit of suffering.

but, the more it goes on, the more worried you can see him become.

this isn’t like you. He knows you by now. You’re… kinder than this, damn it.

he takes you to the side one day after he’s seen you be short with a friend.

“whats the matter?” “Nothing, Astarion.” “If you’re going to lie to me, darling, you’d better do a better job of it than that.”

you go to snap at him, fire on your tongue, and then something inside you breaks. You just start sobbing. Everything which has been weighing on your mind has finally become too much.

he isn’t good at comforting words, but he does hold you. Runs his hand up and down your back, and lets you know you he’s here for you whenever you’re ready to speak.

helps you centre yourself again, eventually. He loves you. He’ll do what he can to make things better.

Gale

Makes a couple of snide remarks about how you’re acting, suggesting maybe you be a bit kinder, but then he stops to reassess how you’re acting.

there’s something wrong. You’re pent up. Furious, but not with the people you talk to. They just happen to be the ones bearing the brunt of it.

he sees the injuries you nurse on yourself after battles too. You used to be a clever fighter. Now you are a reckless one.

takes you aside one night at camp and presents his findings very matter-of-factly, concluding that there must be something the matter. When he puts it so astutely, you know you have no chance of hiding from him.

tears slip down your face and he is there in an instant drying your eyes. Telling you there’s nothing to worry about. Reassuring you that “the great Gale of Waterdeep is on your side, we’ll find a way to work things out.”

he puffs his chest out, you chuckle and bury your face in the crook of his neck. Yes. You will find a way to work things out.

Wyll

When he first sees you acting out, as it were, he immediately intervenes.

he knows what it’s like to be under great levels of stress. He made his contact when he was a teenager, after all, and had to deal with all the fallout that happened consequently.

he takes you to the side, holds your hand tightly in his, gets you to look at him.

“i love you, you know that, yes? If there’s something the matter, you need only tell me.”

you begin to crack immediately. Damn this sweet man and his emotional intelligence. Why is he perfect.

you let him know you’ve been under a lot of stress lately. You agree you’re not coping with it very well. He says he’ll help you however he can, but you need to stop being so unkind to yourself.

“you matter, my love. You deserve sweetness.”

holds you close, and you just stand there for a while, together. From then on whenever something is wrong, he is the first one you go to.

Karlach

Sees you snapping at a friend, jumps in.

“whoa, whoa, whoa! Soldier, where is all this coming from?”

you snap to tell her it’s none of her business, she wouldn’t understand… but then you see the hurt in her eyes and immediately feel awful.

“Oh gods, Karlach, I’m sorry…” your voice is wobbly, cracking a bit, and she cups your face in her warm hands.

“hey, hey. it’s okay. Tell me what’s going on.”

you blurt out all your feelings to her in one, long, run-on sentence. She can’t help with a lot of the personal stuff, but she can listen, and she holds you to her chest and rocks you a little. Being engulfed by her embrace is very comforting.

”I’ve got you, babe, eh?” You know she does. For better or for worse.

Lae’zel

She sees the vicious way that you’ve been acting in battle. Strange, usually it’s her attempting to take the big hit, not you. She can take it, you can’t.

She finds you when you’re tending to your battle wounds. Sits down. Stares at you until you instigate conversation.

“what?” “You are not acting like yourself.” “Oh? And how would you know what that is?”

you’re just saying these things to be hurtful, but she’s stalwart. You’re deflecting.

She tells you she’s been enamoured with you long enough to see how you usually are. That you’re kinder, smarter. You’re lapsing into these feelings out of some sort of self-preservation, but you don’t need to.

”if there is something weighing on your mind, share it. I am here to help ease your burdens.”

you don’t love to cry in front of her but that is remarkably… sweet. It breaks you a bit.

You promise to stop being so foolhardy, especially in battle. She says that must be for the best, lest you get rended in half.

“Hey!” but she’s smiling. Your heart swells as you realise she’s trying to make you laugh.

Shadowheart

Lets you get quite far down the burrow of self-destruction before she does anything.

once again, she’s loyal to the lady of loss. Nothing you’re doing is exactly alarming to her.

but it does get worse and worse… she sees you snapping at friends, being harsher to passers-by, and she’s constantly having to patch you up after battle due to your wounds.

eventually one day you snap at her, and that’s her limit.

“I know something’s causing you stress but it isn’t me. I’m trying to help. So you can either pull your head out of your arse or I’m leaving this tent.”

the two of you have a little squabble, but it quickly becomes obvious your heart isn’t in it. Your anger turns to sadness. You collapse in tears and she pulls you to her without a second thought, holding you close.

despite her sharran devotion, she starts whispering how things can get better, how they will change. How the first step is letting people in.

her hand wound throbs as she comforts you. But in this moment she knows she’d pick you every time.

things are easier from then on, knowing she is with you.

[slutsbody]

same beer belly anon here! hi! :3 also.ajdjwldnwkkansns raaaarrrgh your fuckign brain!!!!!

leon would be pretty insecure and would need quite a bit of reassuring! he would miss what he thinks was his 'prime' (I.e re4 build) and reader would literally be on their knees, worshipping all that he is and showing just how much they love Leon for him, regardless of his body <3

your dark leon got me acting up in a way that sets feminism back a couple hundred years uhmm😳😳😳 he would be bad! terrible, even! you would only fuel his alcoholic behavior rather than fixing him (there is no fixing him and you were a fool to think that in the first place.)

but pros are uhm uhm he suffocates you with his belly on the regular soooooo🤷‍♀️ like i had this image of Leon laying on top of reader, their stomach is pressed down to the floor, meanwhile his tummy is pressed right up against readers back, trapping them essentially. they have to deal with Leon's body weight pressing down on them, his arms wrapped around them and his sheer strength keeping them in place. and he's smirking the entire time as he watches reader struggle to move. he! would! be! awful!

NONNIE!!!!! IM GONNA KISS YOU!!!! this is literally sensational LIKE YOU GET ME!!! YES!!!!!! BEER BELLY LEON AGENDA IS GETTING SPREAD AND THE WORLD CHEERED!! world peace has been restored :33

insecure! leon is sooo regretful :(( like he looks at himself in the mirror and even though his tummy doesn’t take away from his skills AT ALL, he still feels so inferior, like he looks around at the people around him and even though change comes with time, their changes weren’t the same as him gaining weight so he’s literally crashing out — but YOU!!! at least help alleviate the deep rooted anxiety and just inner self loathing he’s developed over the years.

i think it’s hot idc!! riding him or sucking on his cock while he has a beer in hand, like he’s so “im disgusting, don’t do that,” like hello im currently between your thighs with my hands down your pants what are you saying??

just think abt it with me nonnie… sucking on his fat cock (hard or not) while he’s sitting back on his couch and drinking a beer.. he’s so embarrassed?? like cmon! don’t lower yourself to his level, find a better man, a man that’s not broken, one that’s not an alcoholic and not one that’s let himself go ;(( he’s drunkenly babbling but your kissing his into thighs and tummy before popping his cock in your mouth and sucking slowly while telling him that he’s the most attractive man in the world STOP!!! he cums so fast it’s so humiliating BUT IT HELPS!!! cuz you reassure him that he’s all you’ve ever wanted :33

now..dark! leon is a whole other story i fear.. he would be a horrible partner but IDC!! i still want his ass in my bed and on top of me 🔥 NO LITERALLY, there’s no way to fix him, he’s too far gone! at one point you tried to point out his addiction and it turned into an argument and you kinda stopped trying.. like yea you’re an enabler but whatever he physically can’t be in a relationship with someone trying to fix his issues it will make him crash out. he uses alcohol as a way to cope and i fear he’s never gonna give it up (>_<;)

and YES!! he does use his strength and weight against you :(( you can complain and whine all you want, but you and him both know you enjoy it. (me too girl) like he’s quite literally folding you in half, he doesn’t care if you’re flexible or not. in any context, dark! leon loves when you cry, dacryphilia king!! he just loves making you cry and seeing you squirm and try to fight to get him off of you.. like aw, sweetheart, did you really think some pushes and kicks would work against him?

him pressing his tummy against your back…UGH.. you’re so right, his cock is so girthy inside you, he gets so painfully rough with you :(( shoving his cock deep again your cervix and keeping you still..his arm wrapped around your neck as he holds you in a head lock :( and idk if you fw this but him slapping you around while you’re sucking on his cock >_< like you gag & squirm and he pinches your nose and gives you a few hard smacks across your face so you can get it together!! CMON!! you know better than that 😒 but again..YOU TWO BOTH KNOW YOU ENJOY IT!! smh! don’t try to hide it!!

[adamsrcnan]

OKAY OKAY here we goooo an annoyingly long-ish post about all my thoughts on The Sunshine Court

Spoilers Spoilers Spoilersss you've been warned

First things first it is so interesting to see Nora writing from not one but TWO new people's perspective. Jean's perspective is just devastating being inside his head is heartbreaking the constant fear and panic and how much of his energy is used on just pushing down every memory of what was done to him. His coping mechanisms are terrifying and i truly do hope by the end of book 2 he has a healthier way of dealing with it bc baby boy stop hurting yourself :( Every sentence was so painful to read. But also his resilience the entire time to get through it no matter what, god i fucking love him!!! He is a fighter.

Jeremy's perspective is sooooo refreshing. He is such a little sweetheart i could cry. The fact that he sends hand written letters and he's so caring and genuine but he can also be so stern. When he dropped that "i asked you a question" to Lucas fkehdjdfjdh OK SIR. I'M SAT. His relationship with the family butler is so endearing as well i need more background on that for sure! My only one criticism is that he didn't have enough pov chapters and i'm hoping we'll learn more in the second book of course because there's still so much about him and his (dysfunctional? toxic?) family dynamic that we don't know yet but also i'm greedy and i wanna know EVEYTHING about him !!!

Kevin and Jean are so just tragic it actually breaks my fucking heart like "you didn't have to slit my throat on the way out" JEAN??? and "promise me you won't try again. I can't lose you." KEVIN??? And the fact that Jean to this day is still keeping that promise. Also Jean's obvious but secret long term crush on Kevin the way it's subtly dropped every time Jean has to stamp down on his desire's and "temptations" GOD PLEASE I CAN'T STAND IT

SPEAKING OF!!! BISEXUAL JEAN ??? BI JEAN??? BI JEANNNN !!!!

Neil and Jean oh my God like where do i even start?? The guilt Jean feels at what happened to Neil in the Nest and him finally calling him by his name after Riko's death and telling him his game was good. And Neil seriously needs to give himself more credit for how much of a caring person he is because the way he indirectly told Jean that he thinks he is worth saving and didn't even hesitate before asking Stuart to send someone after That Guy after what Jean told him. Neil Josten the man that you are!!!

Jean's little sister Elodie what a beautiful name. Them being so close and him reading to her. The way he found out about her death jolted me differently. It was so awful and i'm so sorry Jean didn't get to see her grow up and meet her again.

Renee and Jean oh my god. Jean thinking she's beautiful (bitch me toooo) And the whole right person wrong time ugh i can't stand it. Him wearing her necklace all the time, enough that Jeremy always notices it. And unabashedly stealing her picture from the foxes lounge. Like he did not give a fuck. He said this one is mine. One good reason to stay alive being rainbows i'm gonna FKSJSKDHDH. Theirs would be such a soft love.

Speaking of soft loves Laila and Cat are EVERYTHINGGGG. God they are so cute with their little domestic life and their rich gay boy son who crashes on their couch with his cardboard cut out dog. That whole friendship dynamic is beautiful. Their fierce protectiveness and care over Jean as well and the patience they have with him even after the little kitchen incident. When Cat took Jean out for a drive on her motorcycle god that was such a heart warming moment and Jean helping them cook as well and becoming the girls' little sous chef it's so cute so endearing !!!

FINALLY FINALLY THE JEREJEAN DYNAMIC

PLEASE I'M GONNA SCREAM

Jeremy being the one who told Jean that Riko was dead i don't even know what to begin with THAT like hhhhhhh. The way they're both stupidly attracted to each other but won't/can't do anything about it. THE WHOLE "say yes Jeremy" SCENE WTF WAS THATTT I WAS GOING INSANEEEE. Both of them having to stop mid sentence when they catch the other looking FINE as hell. Jean being so obvious that even Lucas picks up on the way he looks at Jeremy. Jeremy being there to ground Jean in a Moment and helping him come down from it. Grabbing his face and telling him he's okay. Moving into the room with him to make him feel more comfortable !! The way Jean grabs Jeremy's chin (boiiiii). Jeremy constantly reminding Jean that he is NOT A RAVEN ANYMORE no matter how many times he has to say it. Jeremy saying he'll wait as long as it takes until Jean speaks to him. JEREMY GIVING HIM A HUG AND JEAN CLUTCHING DESPERATELY TO HIS SHIRT FUUCUFHDHSJHSSUHDH and then the "will you help me?" And the "Anything you need" AND THEY'RE GOING TO TAKE A CERAMICS CLASS TOGETHER?!?!?!!!! i can't i can't i can't i caaan'ttt

There's so much more to say but i'm gonna leave it at this for now because i need to go re-read it again and take my time with it this time round but i really could not have asked for anything better Nora truly outdid herself here !!! I'm forever grateful she blessed us with this after so long.

[lullabyes22-blog]

Snippet - A Survivor's Story - Forward But Never Forget/XOXO

Sevika spittin' facts...

Forward but Never Forget/XOXO

Snippet:

"I hear you thinking," Sevika warns, without opening her eyes.

"Thinking?"

"About how to get Jinx away from him."

Despite reflex, Vi doesn't ball her hands into fists. She's getting better at concealment. Not a pro like Sevika. Not a savant like Silco. But she's learning. These past five months, she's learnt enough to last a lifetime. Yet she has so much left to know.

"He's not a monster," Vi says. "I thought he was. Now I understand he's just a fucked-up asshole. But that doesn't mean he's not dangerous."

"He's got his reasons."

"I'm tired of you defending him, Sevika."

"I'm defending—"

"—Zaun?" Vi's jaw grates. "Yeah. That's your big religion. The cause you've given everything to. And he's the messiah. You worship him. The rest of us have to believe too, or be cast out." Her eyes seize Sevika's, daring her to contradict. "It's easy to believe in him, too. I'd like to say otherwise. But I've seen him work in real-time. He's got a mojo. A pull, and he pulls who he wants. But that's not faith, Sevika. That's smokescreen to hide the rot inside. And someone like that, they learn all sorts of strategies to hide it. All that smooth talk, all that drive and charisma—they aren't Silco. They're the bracing that hides the sickness." 

"Look—"

"I have looked," Vi snaps, then takes a stabilizing breath. "I get it, okay? If he hadn't fought for Zaun, we'd still be under Piltover. If he hadn't done awful things, the Fissurefolk would be suffering worse. I understand that. He—Jinx—changed the city in ways no one else could've done. You can't scare monsters unless you're the scarier monster." She shakes her head. "Maybe he's the leader the Undercity—Zaun—needs right now. But what about ten years down the line? Twenty? What kind of shape will our home be if it's just a game of whack-a-villain every minute of every day? How do we take care of each other, if we're at each other's throats? How will Jinx take care of herself as she gets older? She doesn't need more monsters in her life, Sevika. She's got enough. She needs to feel safe. To know that her own city won't chew her up and spit her out if she slips up. To know her own home is behind her and not just a snakepit."

Sevika's features hold a deliberate smoothness. She says nothing.

"What people do isn't always who they are," Vi goes on. "Vander always told me that. I think it's true. For you. For a lot of folks who fought for Silco's cause. It's not true for Silco. Living means changing. Someone who can't change isn't really alive. Silco isn't." She swallows. "Not since Vander drowned him." 

Sevika takes a swallow of her beer. When she's finished, there's a half-smile on her face. Too old a smile, too knowing.

"You're right," she says. "He isn't alive."

Vi stares.

House odds were that Sevika would argue. That she'd shrug off Vi's outburst. Not that she'd pay it off with plainspoken fact.

"He's not alive," she repeats, "because he's forgotten how to be."

"Forgotten?"

"He's not you, Vi." Sevika's tone holds a weird stoicism. "If he was, he'd have had a different story. Not everyone's so lucky."

"Lucky?" Resentment creeps under Vi's skin. "I grew up in the Lanes. Same as you and Silco. I lost my family. My sister was stolen. I spent six years in Stillwater."

"A hard-knock life."

"What's that mean?"

Sevika shrugs. No sarcasm. Just blunt fact. "People in the Lanes—hell, people all over—go through all kinds of shit. They survive wars and famines. They get sold to slavers. They wake up one morning and a crazy Mage burns their village down. Or Noxus rolls in and salts all their fields. It's disaster after disaster. A life of hardship. Some learn early on how to cope. How to deal with pain. Others... it's like they just stop. Stop in time. Stop living completely." Her eyes go heavy-lidded. "Nobody has a perfect childhood. But some kids learn how to be happy, or at least float on when things aren't happy. A lot of it's down to nature. The rest? That's how you grow up. Who teaches you to be strong, and smart, and resilient. For you, it was Vander and your folks. Whoever gave you hope and kept you sane. For me..."

Belatedly, Vi understands.

"It was your sister."

Sevika doesn't flinch. Withdrawing a cigarillo from her pocket, she lights up perfunctorily. Brightleaf drifts in Vi's airspace.

"Don't recall mentioning Nandi to you," Sevika says.

"Silco did." Vi's eyelids droop. She feels tired all of a sudden. Torpid with the humidity; the slanting sunrays. With the surreal passage of time and the inexorable weight of history. "So did Vander, when I was a kid. She was the Priestess at Janna's Temple. Mom liked her." She looks away. "Mom was a believer in the old gods. Said they were a part of us, same as blood. She'd always visit the Temple for the Priestess' prayers. She'd stay for her stories. I remember those stories. I didn't understand 'em much, but I liked listening to her voice. I just never connected..."

That you two were family.

That you lost someone, same as me.

Vi's eyes are dry. But she feels the emotion lodged inside: half-processed.

"I didn't connect the dots," she repeats. "I'm sorry."

A plume of smoke rises pensively from Sevika's lips.

"She was a good woman," she says at length "Better one than me. I've made a career out of breaking bones. Nandi made a calling out of binding them back together.  But it was just a different kind of faith, y'know? She had faith in the divine. I had faith in me and mine. So I took care of her. She took care of me. We were family."

"Like me and Powder."

Sevika says nothing. She tips her chin back, staring at the sun-spangled sky.

"After she passed," Vi says, more tentatively, "you took up with Silco?"

The orientation of Sevika's body shifts.  "Don't recall mentioning that either."

"I—I saw you two."

"Saw us?" 

"Last night." Vi’s tongue burns as the confession slips past. " At the penthouse."

The cigarillo smolders in Sevika's prosthetic fingers: spark and flint. Smoke drifts over her face. Her hair's tied in a high tail today. There's nothing to conceal her expression. Not that there's an expression to conceal. Her eyes, meeting Vi's, reflect nothing in the metalhazy glints.

She is a monolith, and monoliths don't flinch.

Neither does Vi. This isn't a place for shame. They've known each other too long and too bitterly for that.

"I know," Vi mutters. "I know it wasn't my business."

"Then why make it your business?"

"Because—" It's an effort to match Sevika's stare "Because you and him... it's like you're stuck. Stuck on him. Stuck to him. He's bad news, Sevika. Not just for you, but everyone." She takes a shuddery breath, trying to keep the kneejerk anger out. "Whatever you're getting out of it, you can get better elsewhere."

"You offering, Vi?"

The near-flinch becomes a flush. "That's not what I—"

Except Sevika's not challenging her. Her demeanor's the same as when she and Vi used to spar: calm, level, blunt.

The bond between them doesn't go deep. Can't—given their convoluted history. Yet territorial as Sevika is, she takes care of her turf. Looks out for her own. Since Vi's return to the Lanes, she's treated her... not as an ally, but as a fellow Trencher.

They've both known hardship and come out stronger. They both understand that when disaster hits, it can make enemies out of friends—and friends out of enemies. 

Vi and Sevika are neither. They inhabit a shadowy zone in between. But that zone has its own language, and it's a clean one. No deadweight. No dredged-up debts.

Just the give-and-take of hard-hitting truth.

"It's funny," Sevika says. "The way folks throw that word around. Better. They're always thinking of what-ifs. What could be, instead of what is. Me, I like the facts. What's real, not what may come to pass."

"What's real is he's using you," Vi snaps. "Same as he uses everybody. He doesn't love you, Sevika."

"Love." Sevika's lip curls up at one corner. "What’s love got to do with it, little girl?"

"I—what?"

"You say Zaun's my big religion? Well, let me tell you. Love's yours. And it's got you—you, Jinx, Silco—so twisted up in knots, you're a fucking mess."

"I'm not a—"

"A fucking mess," Sevika repeats, and the tone brooks no argument. "All of you. That's the problem. You've got no perspective. No sense of self. No clue what's what. Everything's love, and you tote that word around like junkies with a fix. As if it's the answer to everything. The cure-all. Well, let me break it to you: it's not. Not even close."

"But—" Vi is stunned. "Then what's it for? What's the point?"

"There is no point," Sevika snaps. "Love's not a solution. It's not even a problem. It's just an emotion. And it's not the only one. There's rage. There's grief. There's hate. And they're just as real. Just another part of living." Her jaw hardens. "I loved my sister, Vi. Loved her enough that I'd strangle anybody who'd put a hand on her. Not because she was the best woman in the world—and she was—but because she was the best part of me. She was my family, same way Jinx is yours. When I lost her, I went to war. Didn't care if it was Enforcers, or Topside, or the whole goddamn world. I was ready to tear the planet down. Because I'd already been torn apart. I didn't have anything left."

"Sevika," Vi says, but doesn't finish.

She's been where Sevika has. She understands.

"I was broken," Sevika goes on. "I thought, without love, I'd stay broken. I was wrong. There's a whole lot more to life than that. And Silco..."

Her cadence doesn't waver. But there's a different undercurrent. Something raw, and blisteringly real.

"We had a thing, once," she says. "A shortlived thing. But that's the least of our history, Vi. It's not why I follow him. And it's not why I was with him last night."

"Why, then?" Vi's throat is tight. "Why stay with him?"

"Because… when I was broken, he knew what to do with the brokenness. He didn't ask me to be someone else. Didn't try to put me back together. He took me as I was. Because he understood that grief doesn't just end. It can't. There's no escaping it. But you can't let it end you, either. People have it worse; they have less. Me? I had more. When I had Nandi, I had everything. When I lost her, I lost it all. And what's left was an empty space, and filling it with something. Something that'd last the distance." She lets off a breath. A single strand of smoke uncurls. "Silco gave me that. He put his life in my hands. He laid his cause at my feet. He had faith in me. And that faith meant something."

"A way to go on," Vi says.

"That's the best anyone can ask for." Sevika smiles, and her hard face fills with soft lines. "Love's a fine thing, Vi. But it can't protect your family. It can't keep them safe. You gotta fight for that. And when you've fought as long as I have—taken more lives than you've seen years—it's not about the love. It's about what's left. About doing your part to keep it standing."

"Even if it means dying?"

Sevika doesn't miss a beat. "It's never about dying, Vi. It's about the life you choose before that."

"Silco can't give you a life."

"I know." Sevika's smile dwindles. The softness and hardness don't. "But he's given me everything else. The rest? I'll make do. My sister taught me how."

Vi says nothing. She's run out of arguments. Run, too, out of anger.

They sit in silence, watching the afternoon unfold.

[literalite]

mistki's the land is inhospitable and so are we (2023)!! as edits featuring mine and some of my friends ocs 😁 had a lot of fun with this project... rough explainer of how/why each song corresponds to each character/s under the cut because i love symbolism and talking! sorry it is long

bug like an angel - sapphire

without spoiling too much of her story and arc... sapphire's life is not easy. she's hurt by people she cares for and who care for her, although inadvertently, and in turn hurts people who she cares for and who cared for her, also not by her own volition. it's kind of a terrible truth that you will harm and be harmed by the people you love, even when you and they truly don't want to. it's up to you how much you're willing to take and deal. you can't keep every promise you make and you can't right every wrong. but you have to keep trying anyway. that's sapphire's strength, and the core of her goodness and why i personally consider her one of my favourite ocs. i chose to depict bug like an angel in mitski's more positive interpretation here and in that light i think it works best for saph

buffalo replaced - heiya

well first and foremost the vibes of the song fits heiya perfectly fhgjk but also lyricism and tone... yep. quick breakdown of heiya's background since i doubt i'll ever be able to do it properly she's an interesting character for me because she like a lot of my other characters has lost. everything. she had a wife and a child and they were both killed and she had to leave her home again and again and unlike how some of my others would have taken this she has never flagged in her unwavering dedication to preserving hope. for herself for her people for the future etc etc. which is a very fucking difficult thing to do! the world changes faster than you can keep up with it sometimes but for heiya she will not let herself tire and be swept away in it all. people rely on her. she's a guiding star as much as she is a woman. she's a lover and a fighter and thats what buffalo replaced means to me! so

heaven - vinny and caleb

i feel like of all my oc couples so far they have like. the sweetest most kind of simply mutually trusting dare i say straight forward love. they just love each other so much and thats all. the world could end around them when theyre together and it'd be okay truly. also yeah vinny is ostensibly in heaven now bye angel i feel like this one was pretty self explanatory. me and who WHEN

i don't like my mind - sunny

he just like me fr (said in denji voice) anyways wow ha. unstoppable unending guilt due to past actions that haunt your every waking moment? throwing yourself into any and all distraction just to take your mind off it, filling your time with other shit so that past sin doesnt for once echo in your awful and hollow brain? this song is perfect for sunny honestly just that sentiment also the "please don't take this job from me".... sometimes the coping is worse. you can be proud of something because you can do it better than anyone else even if that thing is terrible

the deal - wolfgang munch by @gunthermunch

Wolfgang Amadeus Munch. umm this will make more sense later on but it still kind of makes sense now i think. he doesn't want to be himself he keeps . leaving and moving and running away from his own memories his own self in reaction to others. if he could pawn it all off he would. if he could be better in an instant without having to feel every agonising second of change he would! but thats not how the world works. or is it. read munch by gunthermunch thats an order

when memories snow - lilian

i feel the older you get the more your past kind of swells up and trails behind you... at least for lilian that is shes very linked to the different versions of the girl/young woman she used to be. for her its a double edged blade, a lot of her own strength is drawn from who she was and what happened to her throughout her life. they haunt her but she's haunting it back in her own way

my love mine all mine - saige, bellona, ari

stares you down okay so usage of this song very much almost verges into spoiler territory but uhm. uhm. starts twitching basically the whole dynamic here is . sometimes when you love you will sacrifice. and while that is usually a good thing sometimes it is not but sometimes it still is. sometimes you pay your dues for love and sometimes someone else has to pay for your love as well. and whether that is worth it to them remains to be seen. but it's all about love still. whether that's a worthy cause is up to you i suppose

the frost - yoshiki and hikaru from hikaru ga shida natsu

fun fact (or not so fun fact since i had it listed as such) this slot was originally meant to be taken up by a gojo/geto edit and while it still works for them frighteningly well i swerved to do another black and white haired doomed gay pairing gfhjkl; i really recommend yall to read hikaru ga shinda natsu/the summer that hikaru died because honestly it speaks for itself! it's SO good i love it so bad

star - ari and luca by @anjitrait

wow these two did not deserve the horrors the narrative (me) slammed down onto their heads. they're kind of the most married of all time to me but like of course under pressure even the strongest most loving of bonds will warp. they've been together for roughly a decade and a half now. they know and love each other as totally as you could possibly imagine. despite it all i am yours, no matter. are we picking up what i'm putting down chat

i'm your man - nayef and sióar by @lucidicer

after the album dropped like at least 3 people swung into my dms with a ?this you?? about this song which. i mean the fucking dogs that start barking halfway through the song. are you kidding me. but anyways sioyef and devotion. sioyef and putting yourself in your lover's hands and looking to them like they are a god. this is super self explanatory. you know

i love me after you - redacted and ophelia

HM.... all i'll say here is that sometimes the homoerotic tension filled high school friendship where both parties have something very wrong with them but in totally different directions can be. scarring. bad. sometimes love just isn't enough when you don't know what you're meant to do with it and when you've lived in survival mode all your life. but that once the dust clears you can scrape yourself off the ground get up keep going and that isn't gonna be the end for you there. or for love, even. sometimes shit just ain't meant to be and thats ok

[emmitaaa4]

Elriels... I am sorry. I fear I may have come to my senses.

I hate to say it, but from my time in the fandom, it has become increasingly clear that Elriels tend to have superficial views of Elain and Azriel: when you actually deep dive into their characters, it's hard to ignore how toxic they'd be for one another. And they’ve been telling us:

"… Elain and Azriel are such different characters; Elain wouldn't understand Az nor fully accept him. After all, how could she deal with his darkness, when she couldn't handle Nesta's? They would stunt each other’s growth by enabling the other’s ‘toxic traits’—Az would coddle Elain and she would let him."

Right ?! I just—I didn’t want to see it, but their incompatibility is so evident.

I mean, it’s not like:

It’s not like they are both said to draw their strength from hope, even as the world holds that hope by the throat and tells them to despair.

It’s not like they both power through their lives quietly, not making too many waves as to not bother anyone: after all, they couldn't possibly both feel like burdens to their families, however differently they may cope with it... Elain hiding the parts of herself that do not conform to what others have made of her, while Azriel defines himself through his ceaseless work as the NC's Spymaster and torturer—for if he is needed, he cannot be abandoned.

It’s not like they both would do—and have done—absolutely anything for their loved ones, nor like they both tend to be overlooked amidst the stronger personalities of their entourage.

It’s not like they both explicitly say that they value fae traditions & celebrations for how they bring loved ones together.

It's not like they both seem to be a little lost in the world sometimes, Elain rebuilding her life & finding a home wherever she must, and Azriel saying he is unsure of where he belongs even after 500yrs. If at least Az didn’t already have an established place/apartment for himself in Velaris, I could maybe imagine them carving their own place in the world, where they are free to be whoever they want (wait—).

It's not like they both tend to wear a mask around others—one warm & pleasant, one cold & distant—nor like we see freer, more genuine sides of them when they are with people they are comfortable with. It’s not like they both reveal themselves through actions, gestures & well placed quips, nor like they both show their care through thoughtful gifts—imagine if even their gifts were complementary: one giving paints the other brushes, one giving books and the other a reading lamp… nah, couldn’t be.

…

Right ?

… Not to mention their lack of understanding:

If at least SJM showed that they understood one another despite all of the red flags described above, they might be able to grow together, but let’s be real, she just hasn’t.

She’s never pointed out that Azriel, like Elain, understands what it is like to struggle with rare, prized powers in silence; what it’s like to be othered by them. All that time together and he's never bothered to actually listen to her.

Those two can’t even read each other without words nor communicate with just a look, so how could they work? Anyways, even IF they could (which the bonus shows they can't), everyone knows that the basis of any healthy relationship is ceaseless friendly banter, so even then they make no sense. She doesn't even bring him joy, let alone make him laugh: even their senses of humor are incompatible!

Their powers are too different, and in no way complementary; she sees everything and he hears everything, that’s like, not even the same senses. He walks through a shadow realm and she Sees through a murky realm—not to mention that what she doesn’t See is all « mist and shadows », so obviously their powers could never work together.

After all, Azriel is a Shadowsinger, it’s not just some title people have made up, and honestly Elain would not understand that.

She’s never looked at his swirling shadows, wide eyed (with awe)…. nah she just ignores them. His shadows lightening at the sight of her smile has such a negative connotation, too.

All those visions she has, plaguing her mind, they’re just too dissimilar to the voices howling in his head, which is obviously why she hasn’t noticed his headaches. His head quieting around her is such a red flag, I’m sorry.

PLUS, don’t you guys remember all the times she’s flinched away from him? She won’t even see beauty in his scars, for Mother’s sake, how could she ever possibly love all of him? If you want to see all the ways in which Elain is clueless in terms of who Az is, check out this post (shoutout to my fellow enlightened Elriels, @nikethestatue and @rahjasmine).

I mean, does everyone forget that Elain even loses her newfound boldness around hi—

...

Like babes.

[beerok23]

The Grass is Always Greener - Ch. 1

It’s almost Christmas in Whickber Street, a quiet neighborhood in the little town of Tadfield. Mr Brown sees the upcoming holiday as the perfect chance to throw a party to impress Mr Fell, the charming bookseller who lives next door. He must deal with Mr Crowley, though, an annoying astronomer who moved to Tadfield five years prior and became best friends with Mr Fell. Mr Crowley and Mr Fell both secretly wish that their relationship was something more, but they are two idiots, so they keep on pining for each other under the scrutiny of Comma, Crowley’s very insightful cat. ~ A Good Omens Christmas AU ~

A huge shout out to my Beta @hermiola 💛💛💛

For @pookasluagh, @ineffablerainstorm and @somewhere-in-wales

Excerpt from Ch. 1 - Utterly Ridiculous

“It’s the most — wonderful Christmas instalment I’ve ever seen, Crowley.” Mr Brown tried to ignore the fact that his response was coming along with the chorus of Somebody To Love – and was that a blush on Mr Fell’s face? “How did you build this up on your own? I’m pretty sure this wasn’t here yesterday.” Mr Fell looked extremely impressed. And also in awe. How Mr Crowley hadn’t realised that their neighbour was obviously enamoured of his presence was a mystery worthy of being studied. “Oh. Well, uhm. You know. Yeah, mmm, I just… I worked on it last night.” “Sounds like an impossible job for only one person,” Mr Fell noticed. “Not impossible, no. Just… intricate.” “I didn’t picture you as a modern music lover, Mr Fell.” Mr Brown interjected, trying to spark his interest (to no avail), but sparking one of Mr Crowley’s infamous glares, instead. “Oh, well, I’m not a fan of… bebop, per se,” Mr Fell elucidated, immediately thwarting Mr Crowley’s attempt to retort, “But I’ve become quite accustomed to Queen. Sometimes it feels like it’s the only music that Crowley’s car likes playing.” Mr Brown ignored the fact that Mr Fell was talking about an inanimate vintage Bentley as if it were a sentient being. “It’s rock, Aziraphale, for god’s sake!” Mr Crowley immediately moved his tongue in his mouth as if he was trying to deal with the lingering of a very bad taste. “And to be fair… it is a bit loud, my dear.” Oh, Mr Brown would have given an arm to be called that. But he was already sadly and pathetically aware of the fact that the possessive adjective only applied to a scrawny-man-in-black. Another thing that the idiot hadn’t realised yet, apparently. Perfect, now the idiot was smiling that smug smirk of his. Mr Crowley manifested a remote control from a pocket of his far too light jacket (it was December, how could he cope with going around almost undressed?!) and pressed a combination of buttons. The music changed, and Queen gave way to a very soft and mellow piano track. Mr Fell recognised it immediately and put his hands on his cheeks. Brown couldn’t tell if they’d just reddened for the cold or because he was blushing. “Oh, Crowley! It’s Debussy.” Brown witnessed impotent as Mr Fell gawked at Mr Crowley with that look in his eyes. “I asked the project designer to add a second combination to play at night. I didn’t want Freddie’s vocals to keep the whole neighbourhood perpetually awake for a month.” “Debussy’s Clair de lune is my favourite piano piece.” Mr Fell’s hand was metaphorically on his heart, now. “I know,” came Mr Crowley’s bashful answer. Mr Brown sighed in exasperation. You see, one could only stand a certain dose of languid looks of understanding between these two idiots. And when you were forced to witness such knowing looks day after day, after day… Well, let’s just say you would have developed a slight idiosyncrasy towards redheads too.

[postersofleon]

The Undesirable Feeling Of Love

During missions with Leon, every time Ada Wong must always appear, and at first they didn't really mind her. Funny enough, even found her interesting enough to keep her around. But as time passed, they were getting tired of Leon's attitude towards Ada. Always forgetting you and forgiving her sins. After another brutal mission, they finally have the guts to complain about his conduct.

content: angst

warnings and mentions: no assigned gender or race; they/them pronouns used; resident evil 6 kinda mentioned but not really; ada wong isn't the bad guy in this story but she is technically a bad guy; reader and leon fight with words; sexual talk but nothing sexual; the question of what is right or wrong; bad coping mechanism as in sexual; alcohol; jealously from leon's part; bad friend leon; mention of chris redfield; no happy ending

This mission was fucking awful. Fucking awful. Leon wasn't usually an idiot like this, he wasn't usually an idiot, but this time they couldn't deal with it. Oh, this time was full of anger and frustration. They stopped Leon in front of the agency, they were tapping their foot on the ground as they saw Leon approach. Leon immediately groaned, there wasn't peace between these friends since 2005 thanks to Leon's decisions. "What do you want?" He walked back them. He didn't stop to look at his friend in the eye, they followed Leon quickly; their heel turned around and walked with Leon.

"What the hell was this mission, Kennedy?" They glared at Leon, "No offense but not even our last mission with her around got this bad."

Leon rolled his eyes, "Ada died and this is your first complain." The two friends walked down the streets, people ignored them as they began their conversation. "Leon, the problem is you." They stopped Leon with a simple gesture but it didn't last. Leon kept walking.

They groaned, "I know you like her but for fuck's sake," The sun was making this conversation feel even worst, the sun burned on their backs and began to make them sweat. "You fought with Chris to prove a point. You got lucky your point was valid." Leon stopped and looked at his friend, "Are you going to just bitch and moan for what I did? I managed to prove that Ada was innocent all you're doing is complain."

They felt their anger start forming in their cheeks, "That's not my point, Kennedy!"

"What is it then?" Leon clenched his jaw with a grin in his lips, he got close to their face, "Exactly, you got nothing."

They held Leon's forearm, "I got a lot of shit to say, Kennedy." They pulled Leon back, the people still ignored them as the conversation began to get the unnecessary heat. Maybe they should've waited and calm down their anger, but ooh- they absolutely hated how Leon had semi called them a bitch and his stupid grin he wanted to get. "A whole lot of shit to say." Leon glared back at his friend. "What is it, huh?"

They couldn't believe that this situation was forming and it was getting worst. "Fuck, have you been drinking?" They tried to speak calmly.

"No, no, don't try to get rid of this conversation- what did I do to you that was so horrible?" Leon swallowed as his arms crossed against his chest.

"Fall in love with Ada." They replied so simply that it made them feel guilty. Sure, Ada had her horrible flaws but she didn't deserve to get dragged in this conversations. "I don't know how you managed it. But a stupid simple kiss and six years later kept your cock hard for years." Oh, no. They are losing control. They closed their eyes to try to relax, and while they managed to calm down Leon was getting even more pissy.

"My cock hard, huh?" Leon pushed himself back. It was obvious that this fight was getting worst and for some reason no one still didn't see or try to listen to their conversation.

"Yeah, your stupid cock. You are always forgiving Ada's contributions from making the virus worst," They clenched their jaw, "And when you finally actually got the chance to fuck her, you got fucking worst." Their voice didn't shake. They never wanted to be a negative Nancy when speaking about the relationship Leon had with Ada. "I know Ada isn't technically a bad person but she is working against us."

Leon got their face, "Yeah, like all those times she saved us, huh? Did you forget when we were Spain? Do you remember Raccoon City! Even this stupid mission!" His blue eyes looked cruel against their eyes, but that didn't stop them from snapping back. "Forgiving her despite making the virus worst, huh? Right now, I don't give a shit how many times she saved us because all I see you being a moron."

Leon began to walk away, they quickly followed him, "Then, you bitch and moan crying because you hate fighting against the bioweapons your girlfriend caused." They shrugged, "But that's love right?"

He threw them a dirty stare, "You don't know anything about Ada."

"You don't even know her real name!" They exclaimed annoyed.

Leon's face was twitching with anger, his jaw clenched; He stopped rubbed his face.

"When we first met, I actually thought you were an honest man, you graduated the top of your police academy, but seeing a hot woman makes you an idiot." They started to feel more calm. Did they have all this anger inside them without knowing? It didn't matter. They felt tired.

"At least she didn't leave me like you did," Leon said looking back at them, "She actually tried to know the man I was." Their anger was fluttering inside but Leon continued to speak. "What did you do?-"

"Are you a fucking idiot or does the idiot way of thinking appeared since you got pussy?" They snapped back angrily. They glared at Leon, they pursed their lips together, "You were the moron who decide to get missions and vacations without me since Spain. I actually thought we were getting better in 2007, but I was wrong- so painfully wrong." They actually thought they were getting close to Leon, the have been friends since 1998 and apparently they didn't try hard enough for him. Their emotions were getting worst, but in a different way.

"And that's why you went crawling to Chris?" Leon gritted his teeth, "Because I had a life without you?"

They began to let tears go, "Because you were my friend." They whispered. They didn't care if Leon was with Ada, but the way Leon just decided to act that their friendship meant nothing. They cleaned their tears away from their face, but something appeared in their mind... They looked at Leon and shook their head, "I don't love you anymore." It came from their soul. It was the most fragile thing that wasn't suppose to come out, but now Leon heard it. Leon's face soften, "What?"

They didn't know either, was it the romantic way or the platonic way? They shook their head as they repeated it again, "I-I don't love you anymore." Their voice stuttered. Leon wasn't the same Leon they grew to love, he was different and mean- they slowly began walking back to the agency. Leon didn't try to follow them because he was stuck with those words. They once loved Leon.

Leon tried to look at them but they were gone; All Leon had were the people walking around him. They were on their phones or talking with each other. Leon stood alone in a crowd.

[bliss-in-the-void]

Satoru’s unhealthy coping mechanism after the Toji Attack of 2006™️ is actually really relatable and can apply to real world situations if you think about it.

He’s obsessed with preserving youth because his was taken from him as a teenager. Before Toji, before the Star Plasma Vessel, he went through life believing he and Suguru were the strongest, and that things would always remain that way.

I don’t know about you, but when I was young like this, I felt the same way. The friends I had, the person I was dating, I imagined we’d all stay friends forever. We’d be there for important birthdays, for graduations, for weddings, for when we all started having kids.

But life happens. People leave and grow apart. Innocence is lost and you’re forced to grow up.

Satoru was attacked by Toji and died. And while he didn’t stay dead, his innocence did. The naive Satoru no longer existed.

And how did he choose to deal with the fall out? With the aftermath? By deciding to become something not completely human. By forcing barriers around himself to be untouchable so it didn’t happen again.

And isn’t that just like real life? Now it’s harder to make friends, because the ones who aren’t there anymore left scars and you can’t get close to anyone like you used to. In order to deal with how bad the world really is, you have to become inhuman. To shut off all the noise and go through life stepping over heaping piles of shit. Smiling through it, pretending to be okay. Some days it feels like you have to summon inhuman amounts of strength to get through the day.

What’s really the kicker is that this is addressed in JJK when Satoru asks Kento how things were being a salaryman instead of a sorcerer. Kento said it’s not much different. Then, Satoru says, effectively, we really are doomed.

Because as long as non-sorcerers live in their society which is just as shitty as the Jujutsu society, there will be more curses. And their jobs will never be done.

Nanami tried to get away from it and he still couldn’t. He just wanted to be stress free and even a normal life is awful.

And it’s like. Cherish youth. My god. I haven’t truly been young since I was eleven, I just grew up and became too aware too fast. I miss naivety.

I fucking understand Satoru.

[starryyskies]

Lil update in case y’all care ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;) 

I’m moving from my shit apartment starting the beginning of august, and my current semester ends near august 13th. My next semester starts almost 2 weeks after (classes start on the 22nd but it’s good to get it started earlier since most classes open early).

Hopefully by then I’ll be moved out, feel more organized and less stressed, and manage my time a bit better.

Classes are going well despite being super fucking stressful, I’m at the very least passing for now lol

But as for drawing, besides that one doodle I finished and coloured, I haven’t been able to do anything at all. It really disappoints me because I see all this amazing art and my fomo (fear of missing out) gets so bad lol. But I am being responsible and doing my best (╥ᆺ╥；)

Thank you guys for your support and kindness and understanding ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)

So in case you’re curious my struggles currently read below lol

So, the place I work at, my store is a corporation and we’ve been basically getting babysat by managers from other stores who are also watching their own store, getting paid a shit amount for creating and maintaining not just the scheduling for both stores, but also managing any issues that arise. So we’re on our 4th manager now, and while he’s the sweetest and fucking raddest manager of all times, he is doing the bare minimum for our store. And trust me, I do NOT blame him. To be honest, he is getting paid salary for being a manager of his own store, and it’s like 56k a year or something which isn’t bad at all. But watching a completely different store?

75. Dollars. A WEEK?! That is LITERALLY a slap in the face. That is the CEO saying a big ass fuck you to its employees. So of course he’s doing the bare minimum. Coping and pasting parts of the schedule, he never comes into our store, and while he’s attentive when it comes to issues, he’s our only source of upper management support we have.

We have workers who have worked with the company for 3+ years, 8+ years, and 20 years. They know what they’re doing, but when I am running the shift by myself, I can’t rely on my coworkers to get back to me, because they are not obligated to.

So the schedule is pretty awful sometimes. Sometimes we’re over staffed when we could’ve used the help other times, sometimes we’re severely understaffed. Like for example, today was a shit show. We had 3 people during our busiest time. (I work at a coffee shop) and so we have one person on register who also takes care of the food and packs the deliveries, and then one person on the coffee bar is not enough to handle the amount of drinks they get, so I was basically running back and forth to support both positions while also making sure my coworkers got their breaks. Icing on the cake was when we realized it was way too hot inside the cafe and learned our AC is broken AGAIN! It was 84 degrees before I left work. That is miserable running around taking care of hot drinks and food.

This is something I deal with at least 2 times a week

While also doing school work full time, having a strict deadline to follow to submit assignments (thankfully it’s all online so I can be somewhat flexible)

And on top of all of that, I’m moving in 2 weeks, school finals will be going on by then, and life has been kicking my family in the ass.

My step dad, who I’ve know since I was 6-7, he’s been that second dad to me, I think of him as a hero. He unfortunately has been diagnosed with single cell lung cancer. It had spread to his ribs and femur. While he’s still fighting and going through aggressive treatment, I’m not sure what the outcome will be. He’s putting on a strong face, so I can’t tell how serious it is.

My grandfather is also in the hospital. He’s had a heart condition that requires him to wear an AED pacemaker in his chest, and recently it was used because he had a seizure. He’s not doing too well, and who knows what will happen.

Oh! And my older sister’s wedding is IN TWO MONTHS! I’m the damn maid of honor, and I do nottttt like the attention. She’s the kinda person who likes big fancy weddings but she’s doing her best financially to make it happen, though she also was promoted to manager for her store (we work for the same company) and going through that crazy long training is surly not fun lol.

But anyway, thanks for reading my rambles. Sometimes I feel like nobody really cares but I get reminded that there are people out there who are wondering how I am. So this is for you people

(⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)₊˚⊹ ᰔ

[icycoldninja]

Headcanons for the Sparda boys and V with a s/o that got turned into a demon? (As for how: My best guess is something like the Ascension ceremony from DMC4.)

Reader shows up to the Devil May Cry one day after healing from a cooking related injury (burned hand, knife slipped and cut them, whatever), because they were kinda hoping the people at Devil May Cry could help. They'd probably be hesitant to tell anyone they're a demon right out- if that's even what they are, because they're not really sure themselves- but the lads could probably piece it together. Or just sense/smell the other demon nearby. Reader probably just thinks the shop and the shop employees stink, but if trying to be polite about it.

Not sure if humans/human blood would smell tasty to a new demon, but maybe? If so, that's another horrifying change they'd have to deal with and ask for help on.

Very interesting concept, hope I did it justice. Enjoy!

Sparda boys + V X Demon!Reader headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-Your transformation was relatively recent, but terrifying. You'd managed to keep it a secret from everyone since the day you discovered your sudden change, but coping on your own was hard.

-You were constantly anxious about hurting the others unexpectedly, as demons are known to do, and couldn't concentrate on most of your tasks.

-You ended up burning your hand on the stove one night while trying to heat up some dinner, and in your panic, decided to head to Devil May Cry to see if someone could help you.

-At the same time, you hoped someone would notice your situation and help you out, though how could they? You had no physical changes, just internal ones.

-When you set foot into Devil May Cry, your heightened sense of smell caught the scent of something oddly appealing. You had no idea what it was, or why it smelled so good, but it did, and following the scent led you to the staff.

-The girls didn't think anything of it and assumed you were just disoriented because of your burn, but the boys--Dante specifically, noticed your behavior and thought it was weird that you were behaving the same way as demons did when they were tracking their prey.

-After your burn was dressed, he pulled you aside to ask you if anything was wrong. The concern in his eyes as well as the unusually grim timbre of his voice proved that he knew something was wrong. There was no other choice than to come clean.

-And so you revealed your secret, explaining how you'd been forced to take part in some sort of dark ritual whose side effects manifested days later. You broke down in tears, sobbing over your changed state, expressing your worries that you'd never be able to turn back.

-Dante took your hands and pulled you into his chest, pressing kisses to your head as he assured you everything would be fine. He'd help you find a cure, no matter what it took.

-He told you that no matter what you turned into, he'd still love you, and he'd be more than happy to offer up some of his blood if you need to feed, as some species of demons do.

■ Vergil ■

-The day you noticed your transformation, which came in the form of scales breaking out all over your body, as well as sharp fangs that replaced several of your teeth.

-You tried to hide it, but Vergil was a very observant man. He knew something was wrong, but chose not to say anything because he wanted you to come to him on his own. Also, there was a chance it was just you being moody, in which case, he didn't want to get involved.

-Your scales soon spread to your hands, making it hard for you to feel things with your palms and fingers. This made chopping food with knives very difficult because you couldn't feel the knife or the food in your hands.

-At one point the knife slipped, cutting the back of your hand. Swearing like a sailor, you bundled your hand up in a rag and stumbled off to Devil May Cry for someone to heal the injury.

-The moment you got there, you smelled something awful. It was worse than rotting food; it was beyond putrid. Just what was that smell?!

-Then you walked into the kitchen, where everyone was gathered at the time, and the smell got worse. It quickly became apparent that the smell was coming from the staff.

-While the girls helped fix up your wound, you did your best to keep your disgust from being expressed upon your face. Despite your best efforts, Vergil noticed that something was definitely wrong with you.

-He approached you, hoping to inquire about your strange behavior, but the proximity between the two of you resulted in the horrible smell getting worse, untill it was too much to bear.

-You started coughing and gagging, your hands flying up to clutch your throat. When Vergil saw the scales on your hands, he instantly realized what was wrong with you.

-He immediately stepped back into the next room and spoke to you from afar. You confessed, begrudgingly, that you'd been turned into a demon somehow and that you were able to smell human blood, which was disgusting. You expressed your fear and discomfort, to which Vergil assured you he would find a cure.

-In the meantime, your task would be figuring out how to grow accustomed to your demonic sense of smell--and the stinkiness of human blood.

□ Nero □

-Nero was actually present when you turned during the ceremony, and therefore was more involved when the aftershocks began to surface.

-You grew a tail, your eyes changed color, and your pupils dilated to slits. You also became noticeably more hungry for raw meat.

-Nero started to freak out over your erratic behavior and was very reluctant to leave you alone, but you insisted, and so he complied.

-Unfortunately, Nero's fears became more justified after he learned you tried to grab a steak off a steaming hot frying pan, burning your whole hand in the process.

-When you reached Devil May Cry to ask him to patch up your burnt hand, you smelled the unmistakable, extremely appetizing scent of human blood.

-Had Nero not been physically holding you back, you might have leaped forward and tried to devour everyone in the shop.

-After tying you down to a chair and dressing your burns, Nero made a vow to search for a cure for you as soon as possible--before the transformation got any worse and turned you into a full on, bloodthirsty demon.

-He would be gone for a long, long time, leading you to lock yourself inside your own home and give Nero the only key so you couldn't break out and wreak havoc while he was away.

-The next few months, or maybe years, would be trying times, but the both of you were strong--you'd get through this, no doubt about it.

● V ●

-When you noticed your transformation, it was already too late. You suffered from violent muscle spasms, headaches, and pain in your joints as a result of the dramatic changes your body was undergoing.

-You never reached out to anyone, especially V, because you had no idea what was happening to you.

-You were afraid, and feared dragging anyone else, including your beloved, into your problems.

-Sadly, your body had other plans. It decided to force you to undergo a seizure in the middle of your kitchen, during which you temporarily sprouted an extra limb. All the flailing and trashing you were doing caused you to bash several of your body parts against the counteracts, hard.

-By the time the seizure was over, you were throughly and entirely bruised.

-Casting aside your pride, you dragged yourself to Devil May Cry to reluctantly ask someone to bandage your aching limbs.

-It was there where you ran into V, who noticed your bruises and exhausted appearance, which made him worry. He pulled you aside, pressed ice packs to your aching bones, and gently requested you tell him what was wrong.

-It took a lot of convincing, but V managed to get you to confess your issues. You explained how something was making your body change, and with teary eyes, described the pain you went through because of it.

-V had no idea why this was happening to you, but he was sure you two would figure things out together. The first step was to deduce what was afflicting you, then, to find the cure.

[crazylittlejester]

Hehe hello hello

Would you be interested in yapping a bit more about Warriors and Time's/Mask's brother relationship?

Please plase share more headcannons with me

HELL yeah dawg I gotchu, these two are my favorites I can yap about em all day every day (sorry for answering late I wanted to save this for after my exam alskddkd. also my apologies if this makes ZERO sense, and my bad for spelling mistakes or oddly autocorrected words 😔)

So, this is just my personal headcanon and a bit about how I write them and I’m just taking this as an opportunity to ramble hehe but here you go, a peak inside my brain!!:

One thing that’s super important to me in writing is names. Names carry with them identity almost, and while Time and Mask are one person and Wars and ‘Captain’ (because i hc that’s what Mask called him instead of Link all the time) are also the same person, they are very different in the sense that trauma and recovery and just aging in general impacts identity and shit. They are the same exact people, but their relationship with each other was pretty different at different points in time and the way they view each other has changed

'Captain' to Mask was a father figure, an older brother he argued with and teased, but ultimately someone who he looked up to. He didn't WANT 'Captain' to ever be wrong about anything, and he COULD see his flaws and his arrogance but he didn't want to acknowledge it because he just so fucking desperately needed a safe adult who could always be right no matter what because after so long of being lost and overwhelmed, some part of him really just wanted stability. He’s not one to blindly trust nor is he stupid, but a part of Mask ignored how arrogant Link got because he needed someone to be perfect

Mask is 'Captain's' kid almost, that's how he views him. That's his child, he doesn't think of HIMSELF as a father, he thinks of Mask as a little brother, but that's his kid nonetheless. He doesn't want Mask to see him struggle, he doesn't want Mask to see he's not okay, he doesn't want Mask to realize how absolutely AWFUL his life is because he's hell bent on giving his kid a good growing environment despite the fact they're in a war

Time, now in his thirties, is able to look at Warriors and see his flaws, he's able to look at him and see a very hurt, very traumatized young man. He's reached a point of emotional maturity and confidence where he doesn't need to have a person who can just be safe for him all the time. He does still find safety and comfort Wars, but he doesn't like, NEED it the way ‘Mask’ did. Because Mask was (to me) like mentally 15 years old living in a 10 yo’s body at the start of that war and he was just so goddamn tired he just needed someone else to call the shots sometimes. That doesn’t mean he wasn’t still a bit argumentative, or that Time still doesn’t like being bossed around, but Time has had time to chill and sort his life out and it’s easier for him to take a deep breath and use his brain than it was when he was a kid. (I did a whole post ages ago on depression and how it commonly manifests as anger in kids and yeah something something I do think Time has a short temper still but he has coping mechanisms now and he’s better at dealing with it)

Warriors is able to look at Time and still see his kid, he still sees Mask, but he can also acknowledge that Time spent 20 years growing up without him and is now a good decade older than he is. He can realize that he doesn't HAVE to hide everything from Time, Time can be a safe person for him to lean on because he’s no longer this traumatized child Warriors has to ‘protect’. He can be a hell of a lot more real with Time than he ever was with Mask because he no longer feels guilty about trauma dumping on a child. More real smiles, more real emotions, more real tears. They help each other heal, it's no longer as one sided

But despite this separation and distinction they are still able to recognize the other as just one person. Separate, but one at the same time. Wars can think of his brother and in his mind refer to him AS Mask, but (in a stable mental state) completely acknowledge that as Time. Calling him Mask is literally just a force of habit, he can call him Mask and still acknowledge this is a 30 something yo man. Time can call Wars 'Captain' and be aware he's talking to the 27 yo in front of him and not that poor kid trying to be hero and guardian at the same time.

However 'Captain' in Time's mind became almost like... a character...? That's his big brother he rambled on and on to Malon about. That's his big brother he loves more than anything in the world. That's the person he looked up to even after having left the war. It's almost a version of Wars that's not even real because it’s the version of him that was presented to Mask and then preserved after they parted. It’s Wars through the eyes of a child who adored him. But it's not like the way the people in Wars's kingdom idealize him. The people in Wars's kingdom look at this child and see a knight in shining armor come to save them, or a brat who started this damn mess. They turn him into something he isn't and kinda dehumanize him because it makes it easier for them to send a child to war. Whether they like him or not, they have an idealized version of their hero in their minds, based off what front Warriors himself put up or their own dislike. But Mask’s old version of ‘Captain’ was born from pure love for his brother, like those hero essays 3rd graders write about their personal heroes and they choose to write about their dad and how they see him. ‘Captain’ was a hero to Mask in a MUCH different way than he was for everyone else, and meeting Wars again was a huge shock for him because was forced to look at this person through the eyes of an adult

'Captain' is his big strong older brother who will always be there for him and who is bad ass and epic, Wars is just... a man, and Time HAS now put them in his mind as the same person. His captain isn't as perfect and infallible as he thought he was but thats okay he doesn't give a shit he loves him anyway. This pillar of strength for him, his captain, is cracked and has been this whole time despite his younger self’s inability to see that completely (because he DID know something was wrong, just not the full extent of it), and maybe even directly because of how his view of his brother has changed, he’s able to love and support him even more

For the most part in my writing Time only ever refers to Warriors as “Captain” or “Link”, even in the LU ‘present day’, not because he can’t see how he’s changed but because that title to him carries more of a realness to it. Despite how it was that title he’d associated his idealized version of his brother, Warriors himself views himself more as a captain than a hero. Because he IS a captain and that’s a rank he earned for himself, but he doesn’t feel right calling himself a hero. Similarly Wars rarely calls Time ‘Time’, because in my headcanon Mask didn’t reveal himself as the Hero of Time. That’s a huge ass title to live up to, and he felt like people would be disappointed to know some scrawny kid was the huge historical figure they’d created perfect versions of in their minds. ‘Hero of Masks’ brought safety with it, and while Wars rarely calls him Mask (less frequently than Time calls him Captain), that name feels more like who he actually is. Not only was it something his brother called him, but it just feels safer and just- More intimate I guess. And him calling Wars ‘Captain’ is also partly instinct and more his title than anything else, every time Time calls him that it’s making the real version of his brother more permanent in his mind, with all of his flaws and all the little weird things about him that Time had forgotten over the years

AGAIN SORRY IF THIS MAKES NO GODDAMN SENSE I LIKE TO RAMBLE AND MY HEAD HURTS AND I STARTED SPACING OUT A BIT SO IDK HOW MUCH I REPEATED MYSELF BUT THANKS FOR THE ASK I LOVE TO YAP ABOUT THESE TWO

this is just them to me :)

[pebblume]

guys i haven’t had time to write in weeks and it’s driving me INSANE. to help cope here are a bunch of percabeth fic ideas i have rattling around my brain that i may or may not get around to writing at some point

annabeth is assigned for cabin inspection and percy slept in (cue speed cleaning and attempted flattery and bribery to avoid punishment). this one is deeply unserious

since we didn’t get it in the show with the spider trap in the tunnel of love i’d love to write some other situation where annabeth gets scared by spiders and percy helps her through it and they talk about their fears 

ok ok. hear me out. pjo tv trio watching the lightning thief musical. i’m normally not into “characters watch their own media” type fics, but i think it could be fun to write while also allowing for some introspection! they’re just experiencing this weird uncanny valley where everything is familiar but it’s so different at the same time and also everyone is singing?? percy laughs at his own jokes of course and grover is a theatre kid so he’s nerding out and annabeth is confused (the only musical she’s ever seen is the wizard of oz) but entertained. i think it could be silly

lovesick au with an extra dose of angst. percy gets accidentally drugged with aphrodite’s love magic (and naturally annabeth is the first person he sees) so now she has to deal with a very clingy percy who's sweet and considerate and would do anything she asked but it's not her percy. like she wanted him to like her back but not like this ;-; happy ending tho obviously

hypervigilance and hyperfixation - annabeth has always had to be aware of her surroundings and never let her guard down (ptsd from her childhood and being a demigod), until this boy comes into her life and now all her attention zones in on him whenever he’s within a 50 yard radius. just a little drabble on all the little things you notice when you’re constantly aware of your crush and how even their annoying habits or flaws become hopelessly endearing

annabeth with glasses would be so cute?? (credit to @vicwritesfic for the idea!). basically just some percabeth moments told through glasses: annabeth first getting them and percy helping her feel comfortable with them when she gets self conscious, annabeth losing them in the lake and percy retrieving them, percy trying her glasses on because i think that’s a universal glasses wearer experience, percy finding her asleep at her desk with her glasses askew and taking them off gently, etc. etc. you get the idea

ok y’all know that saying that’s like “you know you like your crush when they get an awful haircut and they’re still attractive to you”? that’s it, that’s the fic. i’m thinking percy gets an unwilling haircut and he gets all embarrassed because his head is a fuzzy egg now, but annabeth still finds him cute because she's down catastrophically bad. he gets his curls back at the end tho don’t worry!

percy is cursed to be honest when he lies to a god and now he can’t stop telling annabeth how pretty her eyes are and how much he admires her; he can’t even use sarcasm - he’s defenseless! basically an excuse for me to torture percy and make him finally talk about his feelings

post tlt. annabeth ran away again after fighting with her father, but instead of going back to camp she goes to stay with the jackson’s (with the obligatory shows-up-on-their-doorstep-sopping-wet-and-pathetic scene and sally decides to adopt her immediately). it was supposed to be for a weekend, but percy convinces her to just stay until they have to go back to camp (about three weeks) and cute domestic shenanigans (and angst) ensue!

percy just got his driver's license after the titan war and takes annabeth for a ride to montauk to meet grover (she obviously has to tease him about the time he was 12 and crashed a car because he was too busy looking into her eyes). they sing along to their favorite songs and percy gets road rage and they stop for ice cream. basically a chance for them to be normal teens because they deserve it!

pen pal au where percy and annabeth write each other letters during the school year (takes place after tlt). just little moments in their lives told through letters and photos and mementos (sally insists on express mailing annabeth blue cookies after a fight with her parents ofc). it’s not the same as having each other there in person, but it helps with the distance. my way of coping with the hiatus between tlt and SoM ;-;

bi percabeth my beloved!! fic about percy’s bi awakening after reflecting on all his boy crushes (childhood friend, luke, beckendorf, etc). he comes out to annabeth after the war and they have this very touching moment where they talk and hug it out. then annabeth is like “oh also I like girls” “you couldn’t have led with that??” “i didn’t want to steal your moment!”

i've also been drafting out some percy pov chapters to my fics "i miss you like a little kid", "nothing's going to hurt you baby", and "punched in the gut (feels like being in love" so those are in the works!!

phew. and that's not even all of them (i think about them an unhealthy amount). i miss writing these two so much, but i won't really have a chance to breath from my school work until spring break so wish me luck ;-;

as always you can find my finished fics here :3