#he’s made multiple videos on it and mentioned it in passing as well

[darkbluekies]

Yandere Silas x male reader bodyguard. Relationship:romantic

You and him grew up together in the mafia, Silas fell in love with you but you only saw him as a friend and he ends up falling in love with a girl and this makes you leave the mafia to go abroad with her to live a normal life.

Silas has contacts all over the world and discovers that you are in a country abroad, he kills the girl and kidnaps you

Be mine (you have no fucking choice)

Yandere!mafia oc x male!bodyguard!reader

Summary: after being friends with Silas for years, you decide that it is time to pack it up and leave, much to Silas’s dismay.

Warnings: criminal stuff, throwing up, getting drunk by force, ropes, cage, mentions of sleeping around, violence, alcohol

Word count: 4.3k

You put your gun into your belt and get out of the warehouse. 

“Hey, where are you going?” Silas asks and grabs your arm. 

“I’m going home”, you say. “This mission doesn’t interest me.”

You try to walk, but Silas hurries in front of you, blocking your way. He almost reminds you of the little, stubborn boy he once was when he does that. 

“Wait”, he says. “You never drive well after a mission. You have too much adrenaline. You and I can leave together. I can drive you to my house.”

“No, Silas, I’m going home.”

Silas doesn’t react to you calling him by his first name. But he never has. You are special. Only one other person in his entire organization can call him by his first name without getting a bullet through their eyes — that person being his second in command. You and his second in command have known Silas longer than anyone else. You’d dare call his second in command your friend too, although on a more professional level. 

You’ve known Silas longer than his second in command has, and you’ve known his little brother, Ares … and you’ve known about his jealousy for a very long time. It started when you one day went home with his brother to play video games after shool. Next day when you entered school, his brother had a black eye and Silas had not left your side for the entire day. 

It only got worse from there, but you never did anything. You tried to talk to him, but it seemed like the years made him even more jealous. He dated girls time and time again, but created a big fuss when you showed the slightest interest in anyone — be that boy or girl. You became the third wheel in SIlas’ multiple relationships.

He did admit to his love for you, just a few years ago, but you couldn’t reciprocate his feelings. It would make everything harder. You were basically working for him as his bodyguard and didn’t want to ruin the friendship you had with him. Losing him as a friend could mean both mental distress … and physical harm. 

“Does this have anything to do with the girl I’m dating?” Silas asks. 

You look baffled. “No? Why would you think that?”

“Because she’s at the house?”

“No, I just want to go home”, you sigh heavily. “Why do I have to explain my every step to you? You’re not my father, come on.”

“Because I’m worried about you.”

“What a great look for you, mister mafia leader. Don't let anyone else see that.” You nod at him to move. “Move out of the way now, I’m tired and I’m hungry. I want to go home and order a fucking pizza.”

“So this has nothing to do with my girlfriend?”

“What's the matter with you? Are you trying to make me jealous or something? I'm not interested in you, you know that.”

You push past him.

A month passes. You have been seriously thinking about leaving the mafia for a long time now, but ever since Silas got himself yet another girlfriend it became clear that you have to leave, if you ever want to get yourself one of your own. As long as you stay with him, he will never let you date anyone — apart from him, of course. 

You’ve decided to move abroad. While packing your bags, you feel tears run down your cheeks. You have known Silas for as long as you can remember. You love to be with him, he is your best friend. Betraying him would mean betraying yourself, and his entire organization. People who betray him gets killed personally by Silas. Neither you or Silas would want that.

However, leaving without anyone noticing would be hard. Silas would know that something was wrong right away and he would use his contacts to find you again. You’d need help with creating false documents … and you knew just the man to help with that. 

You hold the phone to your ear. 

“Hello?” a familiar voice asks. 

“Hi, Ares”, you say. 

“How the fuck did you get my number?”

“I did some digging.”

“Holy fuck, Y/N, you need help.”

You chuckle and hear how Ares chuckles in return. 

“What did you want?” he asks. 

“I need some help.” You look around, feeling like you’re being watched, which wouldn't be very far off. “Can we meet up?”

“Sure. Now?”

“If you can.”

“Yeah, I’m not busy.”

You decide to meet up at a café an hour away from your house, hoping that Silas’s associates wouldn’t recognize you here. You couldn’t believe that you would meet Ares again, you haven't seen him since you were teenagers. He looks the same, just a bit more grown up. 

“My brother finally removed the leash around your neck?” Ares chuckles and hugs you. 

“No, not really”, you sigh. “This is why I need your help. I know that you scam tight about everyone. And I need you to help me create false documents, passport … yeah, you name it.”

Ares smirks.

“Little Y/N is going on vacation, I see”, he says. “Where are you going?”

“I don't know.”

“Are you trying to get away from my brother?”

You nod. Ares seems to think for a moment. 

“Go to Spain”, he says. “Silas is banned from there, he won't be able to get you.”

“Ah, I feel so bad about it, though”, you sigh and run your hands through your hair. “He's my best friend. And boss, technically. If I leave, I betray both my best friend and his organization … and then he has the right to kill me.”

“Wait, you're planning to leave the mafia? For real?”

“I don't want to, but I can't live like this. I want to have my own life. I'm a grown man now, the window for opportunities is closing every year.”

“I'll go with you. I'll protect you.”

“You don't have to, Ares. Look at me, I'm capable of taking care of myself.”

You were Silas’s bodyguard, after all. No weak person gets that position. 

“Yes, I know”, Ares says. “But I can help. And you don't have to be lonely.”

“You are an ass too”, you remind him.

“Better than Silas, though.”

You scoff and roll your eyes.

Ares comes with you to Spain. He has given you false documents with new names and nationalities. You sit together at the airport with your phone in your hand. Your stomach is turning.

“I really should tell him”, you sigh nervously. “I don't want to just leave. I have known him for years. I might betray him work wise, but I can't betray him friend wise. I'm going to call him.”

“I don't think you should”, Ares says. “He has been awful to you, why does he deserve your goodbye?”

You groan and hide your head between your knees. Ares brushes his hand through your hair.

“Come on, sweetie, let it go”, Ares encourages you. “Your new life starts soon. Beach, sun and alcohol, all day long.”

You want to tell him that you don't drink, but decide to leave it be. 

“I have to go to the bathroom”, you excuse yourself and stand up to walk away.

But you don't go to the bathroom stalls. You stand by the large windows at the gate and call Silas.

“Hi, Y/N”, he says.”I haven't heard from you in a little while. I was about to go over to your house and drag you over to mine, because I miss you.”

“I have to talk to you about that”, you say,  hesitantly. “I am not at home, and I probably won't be back.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I'm really sorry that I have gone behind your back, but I am actually leaving … going abroad. And it might be permanent.”

“Have you hit your head?”

“I'm really sorry for betraying you, Silas, you’re my best friend … but frankly, you're always stopping me from getting my own family, while you brag about the women you fuck. I need to get away, at least for a while and get to try to find love. It might not be permanent, but I don't know.”

“Where are you going? You know that you can't leave the country without me knowing. The second any of your credit cards, passport or anything along that way is being used, I'm notified.”

“Well I'm not fucking stupid. I have fixed that.”

Silas scoffs out a mocking laugh.“You don't know how to do that.”

“I had help.”

“From who?” He doesn't sound that cocky anymore.

“Ares.”

Silence. 

“Oh, you can't be fucking serious”, Silas says. 

You can't detect what emotion he's feeling. Perhaps everything all at the same time. Maybe it was a wrong decision to call him before your flight, but the guilt would have eaten you up the entire way there.

“I am”, you answer, trying your best not to let your voice shake. 

“You know what kind of asshole he is, Y/N”, Silas tells you. 

“I have done stuff too, I’m no angel either.” You sigh, shaking your head. “I just called to let you know that I am leaving. I didn’t want you to hear that from anyone else, I wanted you to hear it from me personally. This is a goodbye, Silas — at least for now. Thank you.”

“Y/N-”

You hang up and turn off your phone before returning to Ares who’s sipping on a beer by the gate, where you left him.

When you’re allowed to board the plane, you’re already nauseous. What if it wouldn’t work? What if you changed your mind? You already felt bad. Ares puts his hand on your shoulder while you walk through the middle of the plane, trying to find your seat. Ares takes the aisle seat. 

“Thank you for giving me the window seat”, you chuckle. “I feel like a kid all over again.”

“Well, I can’t let random folks touch you, can I?” Ares responds. “I’m a gentleman after all.”

Ares sits with his phone up the entire flight, working. You know all about his dirty business, how he scams people left to right with his false businesses. 

You fall asleep for a while. Your body has been in a tense position the entire day and finally, you were out of reach. He couldn’t create a storm or shoot down a passenger plane, he wasn’t a God or a military flighter. He is nothing more than a man with a bit too much power for his own liking. And hybris. A whole lot of hybris. Ares turns off his phone to look at you. He smiles slightly. For years, he has tried to take you from Silas. You didn’t want him, but Silas was too selfish to let you be put on the market. He wanted you available at all times, for when the timing was right. Ares stopped trying to reach out to you after a while, knowing that it was pointless, thought that if you wanted to get back in touch with him, you would reach out — and you did. Ares lets his eyes wander over you. He has tried to match your physique, but had no chance against the hours you’ve had to spend at the gym to be able to be Silas’s bodyguard. But under all those muscles, you are nothing but a softie, and that’s why Ares wants you … and Silas too, unfortunately. He always has to compete with his brother over toys they both want.

Silas scoffs angrily and runs his hand through his black hair, and yet he can’t stop himself from laughing. It’s absurd! All of it!

“Why are you laughing, boss?” his second in command asks shortly. “This is nothing to be happy about.”

“I fucking know that?” Silas snaps back. “Do you think I enjoy knowing that my Y/N is on a plane with my psycopathic brother going to fuck knows where?”

“There are not a lot of places he could go to, though. Think about it.”

“I can’t fucking think! Y/N is leaving me!”

“Silas, sit down before you faint, ‘kay?”

Silas, oddly enough, listens and sits down on the couch in his study with his hands gripping the fabric beside him. His second in command stands in front of him with his hands on his hips. 

“Listen”, he says. “Ares would fuck with you, right?”

“Right”, Silas responds. 

“Which countries are you banned from?”

“Spain, England, Germany, the Netherlands and Ireland.”

“So, one of those countries.”

“But which?!”

“His favorite. Which one is the warmest?”

“Spain?”

“Bingo.”

Silas’s eyes widens and he breaks out into a shocked smile. Why didn’t he think about this? Ares isn’t smart.

“...how the fuck do I do this?” he realizes. “I can’t just take a plane into Spain without being arrested the second I step off the plane. We will need another way. We could get a boat and sneak in.”

“I’ll see what I can do, boss.”

“Do it quickly, I know my brother and he will take what I want. If he does, I will never forgive myself.”

The reason why Silas has never let you date anyone is because he wants what can only be had one way, your innocence. 

He sighs and walks out of the room where he finds the woman he’s dating standing with her hands together, looking worried. A certain rage takes over him. The sight of her had made you want to leave. He knows very well that it isn’t her fault, but he can’t help but think that it is. Her existence has put you in a position of discomfort, and for that, she has to pay. Silas doesn’t want to look at her, it only makes him nauseous. 

He pulls up his gun from his belt, and without a second thought, he fires off and watches the innocent girl’s limp body hit the floor. But for now, he can’t bring himself to feel bad. 

He has to find you. Ares is only nice as long as you're on his side, if you want to disagree with him, he's going to strip you off everything. You just don't know how horrific Ares could be.

Your first few days in Spain couldn’t be more than idyllic — if it weren’t for the fact that you look over your shoulder wherever you go. You scan the areas for familiar faces of Silas’s gang. 

“Relax, will you?” Ares says and hooks his arm around your shoulders. “Just enjoy the scenery instead.”

“I think I’m going insane”, you mutter. 

“A shot will help with that.”

“I don’t drink, you know that.”

Ares just smiles. You’re on your way back to the house from a restaurant Ares had treated you to. It was obviously a date, but you didn’t know how to tell him that you wanted to take things slow. Ares has never been a patient man … and you aren’t even sure if Ares is the person you want to date currently. Frankly, thanks to Silas, you don’t know what you want to do yet. You’ve only gotten your freedom to do whatever you want a few days ago, and it’s more overwhelming than you expected. 

“Do you want to come to my room?” Ares asks when you get to the front door. “We don’t even have to do anything, we can just watch TV.”

“I start to believe that the only reason you wanted to come with me on this trip was to get me in bed”, you scoff and put the keys in the lock. 

“Not only-”

“Ares, go to the bar and pick up someone there instead.”

“I can’t leave you alone, I told you that I was going on the trip to protect you.”

“And i told you that I didn’t need protection. If you’re horny, go.”

Ares sighs and gives up. “Fine, call me if you need me.”

“I’ll be fine, I’m tired.”

Ares nods and gives your back a tap before walking back the way you came from. You unlock the door, going into the house. In the corner of your eye, you can tell that something is moving. Instantly, you go into attack mode, but freezing when you notice who it is that is standing up from the armchair.

“I feel like a dad catching their underage kid sneaking in after a night out”, the second in command says. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” you question. 

The second in command jerks his head. “Fucking guess.”

“Did Silas really send you because he can’t enter the country?” you laugh. “That’s so tragic.”

“Laugh all you want, you’re not the one that have been on a small fucking fishing boat for twelve hours straight!” He collects himself and sighs. “I will give you one chance to come with me voluntarily before I beat your head in.”

You scoff and cross your arms over your chest. “Try me.”

Silas must have equipped his second in command with things he knew that you wouldn’t be able to combat, because in one way or another, you lose consciousness. 

You wake up in a dark, cold room. At once, you try to move your hands to your eyes to rub them clean from drowsiness, but quickly notice how your hands are tied to something behind you. That’s when you realize that you’re stuck in a cage the size of a garden shed, in — what looks like — a cargo hold. Your hands are tied to one of the cage’s bars behind you. Your head is pounding from the hit his second in command had given you. 

“Look at that, he’s finally waking up”, a familiar voice says. 

“So we don’t need the water?” his second in command asks. 

“Let’s keep it.”

Silas walks into the cage, crouching down in front of you. He takes a hold of your chin, directing your head whichever way he wants. 

“You gave him a bump the size of mount everest”, Silas mutters over his shoulder. 

“He’s a trained fighter”, his second in command replies. “I had to do what I had to do, you know?”

“I guess.”

Silas lets go of your pounding head. You groan softly, feeling out of your own body, while still being trapped inside the cage. You start to cough and Silas grabs the bucket of icy water, holding it to your mouth. At first, you gulp it down … and then realize that it was sea water. You throw it up, right back into the bucket. Silas gives the bucket to his second in command, telling him to throw it out.

“That was fucking disgusting”, you grimace and gag. 

“You kind of deserve it.” He fixes your hair that has started to stick onto your forehead. “Why did you do that to me, Y/N?”

“You didn’t let me have my own life. I was living yours, as a side character.”

“You betrayed me.”

You meet his brown — almost black — eyes and feel your heart sink. You have never seen such sadness in his eyes before. 

“I know”, you say and turn down your gaze. “I felt really bad about it. I know the rules, and I won’t make a fuzz about it, but can I beg of you that it won’t be you who kills me? I don’t want that to be our last memory together.”

Silas seems to be taken aback. 

“I’m not going to kill you”, he says. “In fact, no one is.”

“But I betrayed you-”

“I know, but I can’t kill you.”

“You can’t bend the rules, or else you’ll get a mutiny.”

“Who said that I was letting you off the hook?”

You watch how Silas walks out of the cage, picks something up from the floor, and returns with a bottle in his hands. 

“I know that you are strong”, he says, popping the bottle open, “and violent. So, I’m going to keep you calm for the rest of the journey to Portugal. Open your mouth.”

“What is that?” you ask suspiciously, eyeing the bottle wearily. 

“Vodka.”

You shake your head quickly. “That’s so foul-”

“I did not ask for your opinion.”

He puts the opening of the bottle to your lips and you try to turn your head, but Silas forces you to drink. With one hand, he holds the bottle, and with the other he holds your chin to make sure that you can’t turn away. You have no other choice but to swallow the burning liquid. He doesn’t let you stop until half the bottle are gone. You cough and gag, but can’t throw up. 

“You absolute fu—fucking—”, you cough. 

“Calm down, baby boy, it’s just some vodka”, Silas says nonchalantly and takes a sip. “Good for your heart.”

He puts his hand on your heavily raising chest, trying to calm your breathing and feel your racing heart. The alcohol turns your body heat up and you want nothing more than for that bucket of water to come back. 

“My right hand man will be here to make sure that you’re not sober for a single second”, Silas says and stands up. 

“You can’t fucking leave me like this!” you burst out. 

“Then stop me.”

You fight against the ropes and Silas smirks triumphantly before leaving the cargo hold.

The second in command came in every half an hour to give you new sips. You tried to refuse, but with your hands locked behind your back and head spinning with alcohol, there wasn't much you could to to stop him.

You haven't drank anything since you were a young teenager and the rocking motions of the sea wasn't helping you. You refused to throw up again, refused to give them the satisfaction of seeing you in such a state next time they entered.

You hated alcohol even worse now. Fuck Silas. 

After what felt like hours — in your drunken state it could very well have been days, or minutes — you couldn't take it anymore.

“Silas!” you shout and your tone goes to a whining, slurred melody. “Silas!”

You've never felt so helpless.

Silas enters with his second in command tightly behind him. He enters the cage and crouches down in front of your pathetic form.

“What?” he asks, cupping your cheek.

“Please stop”, you beg and sob, but you're not sure if the tears come from the heart or the alcohol. “Please …I will do what you want …”

Silas grabs the back of your sweaty neck and directs your wet face into his shoulder, letting you cry. You can feel that your hands are freed from the ropes.

Silas picks you up, carrying you up to the decks above water. His second in command holds your head so that you won't smash it against one of the sharp corners. 

Silas tucks you into a bed and leaves you to rest. You can see the shining sun outside the round porthole window as you fall asleep. 

He walks out onto the deck of the fishing boat and smirks.

“What?” his second in command asks.

“I'm not single anymore”, Silas chuckles.

“You won again, congratulations. Will you put Y/N into the basement?”

“He can handle that. But most important thing is that he's coming home where he belongs, and there won't be any more childish outbursts.”

“What happened with your brother, by the way?”

“Who cares? I don't want to meet him anyway, so the less I need to deal with him, the better.”

When the fishing boat reaches Portugal, you are dragged to a car and to the airport. You don't say much. Silas disregard for your hate of alcohol and childish behavior has put you off. If it weren't for the fact that you are hus prisoner now, you wouldn't be his friend anymore.

Silas’s private jet stands ready on an empty field. He holds your arm as he pushes you up the stairs. You rip your arm from his hold.

“I can walk by myself, let me go”, you mutter.

Silas sighs. You sit down in a seat opposite Silas and cross your arms.

“You are glaring at me”, Silas says without glancing up from his phone.

“I'm just trying to determine if you have brain cells”, you spit.

“Aren't you a fun lad?”  

“Where is my phone, by the way?”

“Like sharp objects and weapons should be: far away from you.”

“Oh, I see. You're going to treat me like a child.”

“Y/N, I'm not an idiot. I trained you, I know how dangerous you are with weapons. You are even more violent than I am at times.”

“Obviously with good reasons.”

Silas glances up from his phone. You twitch your eyebrows testingly. You might not have your weapons, but your tongue is still sharp. 

Being in a relationship with Silas might be more interesting than you thought, and Silas sure as hell will realize that you're not going down without a fight.

“Your girlfriend, then?” you question. “What does she think?”

“Frankly, she can't think a lot at the moment”, Silas responds, turns off his phone and luts it on the table between you. 

You get the hint immediately. 

“Killing her was unnecessary”, you say.

“Running away from me was unnecessary too”, Silas adds.

“This is going to be a stable relationship.”

“It will be the second you stop with the childish attitude.”

While keeping eye contact, you push his phone off the table. Silas eye twitches as he bends down to get it.

“You're going into the basement when we get home”, he says.

“Can I hit back? Or are you going to have full control and tie me up again? Is that the only way you can win over me? With me being completely helpless?”

“Oh, shut the fuck up before I let you ride on the airplane wing.”

“Sounds good to me.”

You stare at each other, and you refuse to look away first. You're going to make him regret imprisoning you.

[kithtaehyung]

busted (3tan) (m) | myg

title: busted  pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f) , jungkook x reader(f) series: masterlist | three tangerines | fireworks | house party | basketball | stay | sidewalk talk | friends | dalo | like that | anytime | sundress season | yoongi’s interlude | forfeit | flutter | video call rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , fluff , smut ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au summary: when things go a bit south at your house party, decisions between you and yoongi have to be made. note: well. here we are, y’all. it’s been quite a long time, but we are back to regularly scheduled programming :’)) thank you to everyone that has supported and encouraged me throughout this whole process – and series, for that matter. i couldn’t have done this without y’all and the next part is already in the works. also i cried a lot writing this lol have fun! note 2: happy birthday, hedgehog! and to colourless and nicki and whoever else had birthdays recently, consider this my gift to y’all! warnings: language, the amount of content itself fck i’m so sorry, parties, alcohol consumption, tense situations, shoving, abandonment mentions (parental), obligatory yoongi on the phone, ch*king, head/hair pulling, reader has a pain kink and it shows oops, angst, overthinking :((, penetrative s*x, chains but come on now, protective s*x, cowgirl, or*l (m/f rec), edg*ng a ha ha, thro*tf*cking, kissing :’))), kissing D:, did i say angst?, bro😵‍💫, but also bro😭, jungkook gets a warning too, yoongi’s jeans are as ripped as he is heyo, hitting from the b b back, yoongi king of consent sheesh, multiple org*sms, spitting lmfao, sl*t/wh*re mentions, yoongi jfc lol, the aftercare y’all i–😭, the ending🧍  drop date: june 9th, 2023, 7:17pm est  word count: 18.8k gdi

-

-

Here goes nothing and everything.

It was fifteen years ago when you first met Jungkook. When the sidewalks in your neighborhood were fewer and the occupancy in your house was higher. 

A tiny boy, he was immediately ready to stay by your side, despite the limited amount of time he got to hang around before his parents corralled his energy back inside their car. 

Later on, he would tell you that had something to do with them not wanting him influenced by your brother and his group. But you didn’t know that at the time. 

Ever since the two of you met, you became the best of friends. And as you grew older, it was only natural that feelings bloomed with everything else. 

In the midst of an ever changing garden, you found something that never wavered, vibrant in color and immovable at its root. 

Which was strange. You’d never compared people to flora before him. 

But, because of Jungkook, you couldn’t help but see everyone as such—lilies, buttercups, the ones that trap to survive. 

And he was the prettiest, strongest flower of them all.

There was rain. There were storms. But with them came hope, and a pair of cheap rings that the two of you bought nestled nicely in boxes, waiting to be unearthed when you were ready.

However. 

What also came was a lesson. One that you would learn again when two of every seat remained unused in your household. 

A lesson that people are more like seasons than flowers.

They change with or without you. 

And they pass by.

“We can go somewhere quieter if you want,” Jungkook offers. And you know he’s going to suggest your room before he even utters the words.

But of course he adds a small, “If I’m allowed in there anymore.”

When he laughs, your smile is as slow as your head shake, a few memories of old tasting bittersweet on your tongue. “We can.”

“Okay.”

When you make your way to your room, you hear the thumps of music and rhythms of conversation—both casual and loud—echoing throughout the house. Some people are sharing laughs, others are scooting just a bit closer, and a lucky one is cackling before demanding that everyone hand over their money. 

All of them oblivious to the fact that you’re about to rip off a piece of your heart.

Well. That may not be the case. But based on the conversation that you had with Jungkook before your interview, this wasn’t going to be an easy one in the slightest—not for him, nor for you.

But if he’s gonna keep pushing forward, this is a stop you need to put up regardless.

During a party isn’t what you had in mind, though. Much less one in your own house.

You don’t know if anyone sees you open your door for Jungkook to pass through, or if they notice the slump of your mood, but you figure no one will care anyways. 

Until you see someone out of the corner of your peripheral.

And the skip of your heart tells you who it is.

Occupying one of the hallways a ways away, you can tell he’s very aware of you despite being in the middle of a chatty group.

But what’s on his mind? Is he worried? Is he gonna ask what this is about?

Damn it. You’re just gonna have to tell him later. You can’t exactly do anything now. 

A voice peeps from behind your tense shoulders,

“You okay?”

Fuck. 

Turning, you nod to the boy in your room before shutting your door, giving one more look to the man whose last text you couldn’t read.

And the way he stares makes you wanna bolt from everyone entirely.

When your door clicks shut, you slowly swivel, only the bass of your brother’s music pushing the walls in closer. 

Jungkook’s doing exactly what you knew he’d do, wandering around your room and either leaning in to observe, or lightly touching things that he remembers. 

The soft puff of a laugh snaps you into focus. “I can’t believe you still have all his medals up.”

Ah. He even remembers the way you have all your brother’s trophies and achievements displayed—all because you liked seeing them shine, and he didn’t want them in his room.

Sweeping your gaze along two of your walls, you let out a tiny sound of amusement while agreeing, “I can. Too lazy to take them down.” 

“I can do it,” he immediately responds. “If you need me to.”

If it had been five years ago, you would’ve been enamored that he even offered.

But five years ago is when he shattered any hopes you had for the two of you, so you turn him down yet again. “It’s okay.” 

“You sure?”

“We’re here to talk, not decorate, Jungkook.”

He stares before nodding in dejection, eyes finding something other than you. “It’s still weird to hear you say my name.”

It’s weird to say it. 

But you can’t let him know you agree, so the sound you make is half-cautious and weakly lighthearted. “You think so?”

“Ah, yeah.” He flashes a smile that still squeezes air from your lungs. “I’d gotten too used to all the names you had for me.”

“Oh, god.”

“But I guess someone else gets to hear them now.”

Goddamn it. He’s not gonna give up, just like he said right before your interview. 

“Who are you seeing?” 

“Kook…” 

“I wanna know.” 

“Why?”

He walks over to your nightstand, picking up a picture of you and your friends from years back. 

And your heart pangs at how big his back has become. 

Without turning, Jungkook lifts his head to stare at your ceiling. And if he’s wondering whether the glow stars he stuck all over it are still there or not, you don’t know if you’d admit that you never took them down. 

“So that I’d know if I still have a chance.” 

“You already had yours,” you whisper. “Remember?”

And when you look up, he’s already staring at you with regret. 

Memories start to come back, but you shove them away with force, trying to empty your sinking boat with a teaspoon. 

Every time he had walked back from school with you, every time he would make you laugh when you felt alone, every time he stayed at your place when your brother had to be out—all of them competed with each other to punch you in the gut and push you to your knees. 

“I do,” is all he says before softly placing the frame on your bed. “I fucked that up, didn’t I.” 

The times he said he’d be there when you needed him, the times he said it was gonna be okay when you struggled with your seemingly deepest darkest secrets. 

All the times you knew you’d have a long future with him. 

“You did.”

Everything leading up to the time he said you should break up before you left for university.

Right before you were going to tell him you loved him.

Your heart hasn’t beat in awhile, but you don’t notice until Jungkook starts walking towards your planted feet. Was he really so far away? How did he cover the distance between so fast?

With a sigh occupying your chest, you muse that he looks so different, but also not different at all. 

And just like the time you saw him downtown, your brain doesn’t know how to separate the Jungkook you knew from the one you see in front of you. 

Because they are still the same.

You don’t budge as he stands resolute, inches away but encasing you in his familiar presence. When his hand comes up to your face, he almost touches—but the slight hesitation has you holding your breath before he surrenders his hand at his side. 

“I was an idiot,” he admits, throat seemingly small and making yours the same size. “I never should’ve… I can’t believe I…” 

You watch as he flips his head up, and you hate how you know exactly what he’s trying to hide. 

But your soul still remembers the wound it was dealt. So while you don’t want him feeling this way, you’re perfectly okay to fight back. 

He doesn’t get to cry when he’s the reason for all those tears. 

“And yet you did,” you remind him, proud of how stable your voice leaves lips that used to seek his. “And you left me so fucking confused.” 

“I know.”

“Do you really?” 

He flickers regretful eyes your way, giving you all the room to talk. 

And you’re going to.

“Do you actually know, Kook? How fucked up that made me feel right before going where I knew nobody. No one.” 

His nostrils flare while eyebrows flinch. 

You expel a tough breath, everything that happened before bubbling up to the surface. The nights you spent wondering what happened, the days you spent feeling unwanted, the times you felt so fucking alone.

“Is it true that you even loved me?”

“Yes,” he finally shatters, face contorting and eyes welling at their rims. “Of course I did.” 

Did.

“I still do.”

Liar.

“I thought I was the only one.” You search his eyes, hating how you would comfort him in an instant if this were any other circumstance. Hating, hating, loathing that this is how you find out your love wasn’t unrequited. “Why did you push me away?” 

“I didn’t—I didn’t mean to…” He turns, unable to handle the loud silence streaming from your bones. Voice shaken, he flounders, “I don’t know. I’ve—” 

When he pauses, it’s to keep his lips from shaking. You just know it. 

“I’ve regretted it every day since.” 

“Bullshit.” 

“I have!”

“Really. So all those texts you never sent were full of regret, too, huh?” 

“No, I—”

“All those calls you never made.” 

“I wanted to call!”

“You wanted nothing to do with me!”

“No! That’s not true—”

“Liar!”

He digs palms into the soaking divots of his face, tense at all angles and making you so, so angry that this is what the both of you have come to. 

“I’m not lying!”

“You are!”

You thought it would feel better seeing him cry. 

But it’s not, it’s not, it’s not. You hate this. 

Because Jungkook made sure your tears were short-lived. Made sure to chase them away every single time—

There’s a rapid twist of your locked doorknob before you hear a shout,

“What the hell’s going on in there!”

Shit, your brother. Were you both yelling? 

…Were you both that loud?

“We’re fine!” you shout back, embarrassed that your fight somehow managed to outperform the aux. “It’s okay.”

“Open the door.”

“No.”

“You better be serious—”

“Promise!” You look toward the shouts. “We’re okay.” 

“…Okay.”

And then it’s completely silent.

But you know he hasn’t left. 

Fuck, he can’t hear the rest of this. He shouldn’t have heard any of it in the first place, and you can feel the heat of his questions coming later tonight. 

Which, you are fine answering when it’s just the two of you. But you cannot have anyone hovering right now so you go to open the door and tell him off, 

“Dude, I said I’m—”

Oh, fuck.

Yoongi’s right there with him.

And your heart fucking lurches.

Fuck fuck fuck they both see your tears and you’re getting moved aside before you know it now there’s—

“The fuck are you doing making them cry?”

“Wait, it’s not like th—”

“You come into our house after years—”

“Stop!”

“And pull some shit like this?”

Alarmed, you squeeze yourself between him and a very wide-eyed Jungkook, having to wrestle an angry wrist off a captured bicep. “Seriously, relax!”

You and your brother have a thousand differences. 

But one thing you two have in common? 

He’s just as stubborn as you are. 

A strong swipe moves you back so fast that your feet can’t keep up, and you find yourself stumbling until firm hands and familiar cologne keep you upright, voices springing up all at once.

“I’m not—”

“Hey—!”

“The fuck—”

“What’s wrong with you?” you question, commanding attention and snagging both your brother’s and Jungkook’s stares.

Barely even caring if they see where you are and who’s holding you. 

Because this is all stupid. It’s not fucking high school and you aren’t some kid that needs their useless, shitty, good-for-nothing parents to stand up for them. 

Resisting Yoongi’s grip until he lets go, you stalk up to rip your brother’s hand off your ex’s arm, voice darkened and sharp, “Get out.”

Breath hard, the reply you get is directed more at Jungkook than your own pinched brows, 

“Why should I.”

“Cus it’s fine,” you shoot out, sparing a glance at Yoongi and regretting it immediately. 

Because he’s not looking at you. He probably wasn’t ever looking at you.

No. Based on that look alone, he’s been eyeing Jungkook with an energy that sends chills straight through your veins.

It’s so unmoving, so infernal that your throat dries, forcing you to swallow before laying more reassurance on three pairs of tense shoulders. “It’s alright, okay? We’re just talking.”

“…So it’s like that?”

Jungkook immediately replies to your sibling with a monotone, “Of course it is.”

To which he moves forward again before you stop him with a hand and a shout, 

“The fuck it isn’t—” 

“It is! Fucking hell, dude...” 

You force an exhale, hating how your room is overflowing while you’re still drowning in the conversation prior. 

Because now one talk is gonna sprout into three, and you already dread what each one is going to look like when it develops. 

You hope Jungkook understands that you’re done. 

You hope your brother understands that you’re tired. 

And, above all the others, you hope to any high power out there that Yoongi understands that you are anything but finished. 

When the tension doesn’t budge, you sigh and shift your weight.

“Look. We’re just talking. But I need to speak to him alone.” You breathe with finality, eyeing your sibling and his ride or die—hating and loving how ready they are to do whatever they need to, together.

But they don’t have to do anything. 

Except let you do this yourself. 

“Please.” 

After a moment, they both look over your shoulder before your brother watches your face again. 

But Yoongi seems to have finally caught Jungkook’s attention, because his eyes haven’t broken their lock until you say something,

“Trust me.”

Two weighty seconds pass before both men nod. And they leave without a word, emotions toppling on each other as soon as your door shuts. 

When you walk up to lock it shut, you stare at the knob in silence. 

While that was massively uncalled for, it could’ve gone much worse. You can already think of over a hundred outcomes, because that’s a look you’ve seen on your brother many times. 

However. That’s not what has you lost in thought.

What keeps you frozen is the fact that you have never seen Yoongi like that.

It almost scared you, but somehow comforts you all the same. You can still feel the way he subtly squeezed you in assurance, pressing you into him when you really didn’t fall that far. There’s a jittering in your chest that hasn’t simmered, and it makes you feel like you’re halfway floating back to where Jungkook stands.

But you’re promptly grounded when you rejoin him, voice soft when you ask if he’s okay. 

“He hasn’t changed,” is all he whispers. 

And you look at the door with a sigh of disappointment. “He has a little. Still uptight as ever, but. At least I can leave the house.” 

“Yoongi was a surprise.”

Oxygen abandons your lungs before you quickly catch yourself. “They’re best friends.”

Jungkook glares at the floor in thought before exhaling, and his silence seems charged. Almost off.

“Right.”

…Well, what the hell is that supposed to mean?

Is it because he saw when Yoongi caught you? Or the fact that he showed up at all? 

“Hey,” you whisper, hoping to rope him away from whatever scary things he could be pondering. When he flicks his attention to you, it takes a lot to not flinch at his watery eyes. “Ignore them. We aren’t finished here.”

“I know. I’m sorry,” he murmurs, and your conversation jumps right back to where it was. “For everything.” 

“I know.” You close your eyes before sadness lowers your gaze. “But it’s gonna hurt for awhile.” 

Even if you get this closure, it can’t cover all the years he made you doubt yourself. Made you feel like everything you went through was a lie and that love was something you just didn’t deserve. Confidence vaporized as a result, leaving nothing but issues and manufactured intimacy for years. 

Maybe that’s why everyone said you were a bad lay before. Because you actually were. 

Through your thick haze, you hear a faint, broken, 

“You loved me?”

“I…” Don’t say it. Don’t tell him. “I still do.”

“What?”

Fuck. 

It’s true. While he broke your heart first, he still cared for it more than anyone else after him had—until recently. The only grief he gave you was the breakup, which was why it threw you for an absolute loop. 

As you grew up, though, you started to rationalize that the split was a good decision. He was moving, and you were leaving for college. How would you both have fared with the long distance? It probably would have ended one way or the other anyways. 

So while the resentment burned your heart, it didn’t quite rid you of affection. What you feel as a result is similar to before, but so very, very different. Subdued. Faded. Like jeans you wore constantly but haven’t touched in years. 

In all honesty, what broke you the hardest was losing a dear friend. 

“I do,” you finally admit, not looking at him because of your next words, “But not the way you want me to.” 

Jungkook doesn’t respond, letting the outside world bleed into the room like a bitter interlude.

When he still makes no sound, you lift weary eyes to check on him.

And your chest constricts at the way he looks utterly and totally lost. 

When you call his name, his gaze doesn’t leave the floor. When you whisper it again, the tear that falls makes you weak. “Kook, what’s wrong?”

He finally looks up, and you feel your eyes quickly reflect his. “I was so stupid,” he sniffles, wiping his nose. “I really didn’t know. Honestly, I knew that was impossible.” 

For some reason, this makes you chuckle, and a new mood starts to paint the walls. “Why?”

“Because you were so cool.” His smile hasn’t changed. And that’s what cuts the deepest. “And I was just there because I always was.” 

“What?” You start to join him in bittersweet recollection, albeit from a different perspective. When you reach forward to point at his necklace—because you will not touch the ring—you softly laugh. “Then what were these for, silly?” 

When he sighs, you can feel the cracks in his curve. “I’ve been told that I’m clueless.” 

“You are,” you say with a sagging grin. “Extremely.” 

He laughs again. So do you. 

And the both of you break all at once. 

He’s crushing you in a hug and you’re crying into his clothes, hands gripping at his jacket and shoulder feeling the weight of his world. 

While he repeats that he’s sorry, you choke out that you are, too. When he says it was never your fault, you cry even harder. 

You fucking hate this. Now that you know the truth, it hurts that much worse. You hate, hate, hate that this is what everything came to. Everything that you both went through, destroyed by one mistake at the bitter end. 

But you need to move on. You need to sacrifice the past for the future. 

“I still love you,” he whispers, and you tense when he tightens his arms. “And I’m still sorry.”

“You idiot,” you cry into his chest, and you hear him hold back a sob before burying his head again.

And the two of you stay like that. One last embrace that you both needed.

Reminiscing over everything that doesn’t matter anymore.

When you both calm, you feel like it’s been hours. 

But you move to step away first, confused at the way he doesn’t let you leave. 

What’s he doing? Why is his mouth hovering over yours? You need to move. You need to move away. 

But all you can do is plead, “I can’t.”

Still, Jungkook moves in. 

Leaning to kiss just next to your lips instead.

What once would have lit your soul on fire now feels like a tempered flame, the smallest light of a candle before it burns out. And you’re grateful that he respects you enough to not push in a time of weakness. 

You move away again, and he lets you go this time. But not without last words, “Promise me this person is alright.”

“I promise.” 

“Only alright? I have a chance then.”

“Kook.” When you give him an empty glare, dying stars still linger in his eyes. “Friends?”

His lips give away his breaking heart before he nods. “I’m not leaving you again.”

Swallowing, you spread a thankful smile. “You better not,” you sniffle. “I need to decorate.” 

He huffs, giving you one more teary stare. “If they ever hurt you, let me know.” 

“I’ll be okay.” 

After a noncommittal nod, he stands until you politely tell him you need a minute. When he leaves, you wait until the door shuts before wiping nothing from your cheek.

Wondering why this closure doesn’t make you feel better in the slightest.

You don’t know how long it’s been. Time doesn’t exactly flow when you’re caught between the past and the present. 

But when you open your door, Dom is watching you with pure, unadulterated focus.

And your face scrunches in pain before she ushers you back inside.

She doesn’t say anything as you sit on your bed, offering her shoulder even though she doesn’t prefer physical contact.

While you’re grateful—so, so thankful for her presence—intermittent sniffles are the only sound you’re capable of. 

Until you stabilize and come up for air, fishing words from your river of grief, “Remember what I told you. When he broke up with me.”

Anger simmers in her reply as her shoulder moves under your chin. You assume by the movements that she’s typing something on her phone—or prepping for revenge, either one of the two. “I do.”

“He said he still loves me.”

Your first thought is proven correct as a device plops onto your comforter. “Bullshit.”

“Dom…”

“What? Like he loved you then, too?” She scoffs. “You were the one that loved him and he cut you out. He needs to get over that.”

“He said it was a mistake.” 

“It sure as fuck was.” 

“I dunno. Something just doesn’t sit right.” You swipe at your nose. “He looked so.. I just…” 

“Uh uh. It’s too fresh.” She gently lifts your heavy cloud off her person, firm fingers squeezing out rain. “You gotta get out of your own damn head right now.” 

“I know.”

“Now.”

You break into another sob, hiccuping before nodding. “It just sucks, Dom. I d—”

“Look, I get that. But everything you’re thinking about already happened. It’s done.” A glance is thrown behind her back before she swivels around. “Focus on what you have now.” 

In your moments of weakness, you ask the dumbest things, 

“What do I have now.”

As always, Dominique is quick and to the point. “A man that’s waiting outside your door.”

Huh?

Your eyes flash up to hers as she stands. “Wait, what?”

What did she say? What does she mean? How does she know that what’s going on— 

“One minute,” she warns, far away and not to you. “Then you’re on your own.”

“K.”

Wait, what.

You don’t even realize you’re vacating your bed as you see him walk in, nodding back at Dom closing the door before regarding your wreck of a face. 

His name is molasses on your tongue.

What is he doing? Isn’t the party still on? Why is he walking closer? 

He’s not supposed to be in here he can’t be here and you’re telling him that but he pulls you in so tight that the rest of your tears rain down in sheets. 

“Fuck,” is all you can manage now, and he crushes you in even harder, as if he wants you pressed against all of him forever like a keepsake leaf on a journal page.

Your voice writes words into his clothes, silence his only reply but the only one you need. 

Even if you only get a minute, this is enough. It’s enough, not enough, enough.

When he holds you at arm’s length, his question comes out a bit fast-paced, “What happened?” 

Damn it. As much as you should probably tell him, you use precious seconds to pause, not really knowing if you want to or not. 

“Don’t sweat it,” he quickly understands, kissing your forehead just as chaste. When he moves again, you catch the tension in his shoulders, notice the ruffles in his hair. “You gonna be okay?”

“Yes. No.” Fuck, he kinda looks as rattled as you feel. What is happening right now? “I just, umm. I need a minute.”

“You don’t have to go back out there, you know.”

“But you do,” you counter. “And I just wanna see you.” 

Finally, Yoongi stops, and his whole upper body relaxes at once. A beautiful sound to your ears, amusement huffs out his nose before he mutters, “You can’t keep saying shit like that.” 

“But it’s true.” 

His chuckle is light, and mischievous eyes find the ground before they lift to yours,

“Makes me wanna take you home.” 

Well. You swiftly realize why he doesn’t want you to keep saying certain things. The zing of emotion through your body was definitely uncalled for. 

Any other day, you would want this type of conversation to keep going. And maybe you’d be a little coy about it. 

But right now, all you are is tired, and your barriers are crumbled enough for a truth to escape. 

Resigned, you step closer to wrap his waist in your arms, not caring if he can feel the rapid beats of your heart. “I want you to do that,” you admit, breath warming your face on his already warmer shirt. “All the time.” 

“Take you home?” 

“Mmhmm.” 

Yoongi runs fingers along your arm. “You know I’d do it if I could, doll.” 

If you were someone else. If you didn’t have to hide. 

If you didn’t have to wait. 

At least you don’t have to wait for much longer. Definitely can’t say anything to your brother tonight, but you and Yoongi agreed on after this party. So things will be better from here on out. 

But why does he seem so—

You’re spooked by a warning knock on your door, and you flicker eyes to see his filled with something you don’t like. 

And the air suddenly shifts to something alarming.

“Listen.”

“Hmm?”

“I know we said we’d say something.”

Oh. You shake your head, already on the same page and liking how in sync you are. “There’s no way. At least, not tonight. Jungkook—”

“It may need to be a bit longer than that.”

Huh.

What does he mean by—

“So you probably won’t see me for awhile.”

You freeze. 

So does time. 

A minute is no longer enough.

“Yoongi, please—”

“Can you do that?”

Your heart slams against your ribcage, banging and banging and screaming that what he’s asking is not possible.

Because he isn’t asking what you want to do. He isn’t even asking how long you can wait. 

There’s a reason why he’s risking all sorts of shit to say this in person. Why he seems so restless. 

And you’re already missing him so hard it hurts.

Truthfully? You can’t do this. Not now. Not when your heart is bleeding out on your own bedroom floor. There isn’t even enough time to process Jungkook’s talk and now you need to deal with this?

“Babe?”

But despite what you feel, even if your throat is seizing and your chest is caving in, your answer will be what he needs. 

Because seeing Yoongi look like this—torn and frayed at the edges—renders you powerless and protective all at once. For fuck’s sake, he looks slightly panicked and this is the second new side of him you’ve seen tonight.

And yet he found a way to be with you one last time. 

Sacrificing seconds just to say goodbye. 

So you give up something, too. Your wants and needs because you don’t think you can do this, but it seems way too important to him to not try. 

You get it. That whole confrontation probably snapped all sense back into him. He doesn’t want to hurt his best friend. Or disrupt his work environment. Or both. Whatever whatever whatever. You should’ve seen this coming.

If distance is what he wants, you’ll give it. Instant karma because you just told someone else to give you some, too.

Of course you lose someone as soon as you gain back another.

“Doll, let me know because—”

“Anything,” you rush out, and yearning taints your voice on the descent. “I’ll do it.”

He pans from one eye to the other, and you weakly reveal a crack in your resolve,

“Anything for you.”

That answer was a lot more than what you meant to say. And the next look he gives rips you into shreds. Shreds of the bigger truth you just told him with moments left of his time.

“For us,” he corrects, swooping in to give you one more soul-shattering kiss.

And with that, he pulls away, turning to retreat into the real world that proves absurdly cruel. 

You don’t know when you’ll get to be alone with him again. It could be a day. Or months. Or even longer.

But watching him go, you know you can get through this. You know you can do it. 

Because this is nothing new. Just another person leaving. You’ve gone through it before and you’ll go through it again and this time will be different, right? Right? He’ll come back. Of course he will. 

And yet there’s still a part of you that questions.

If people are like seasons… 

Which one will Yoongi be?

Fuck.

Your body is moving before the rest of you does, and you propel forward to tug him in, flooding his lips with saltwater and longing and a deluge of reluctant trust. 

And he responds in an instant, swallowing you in an embrace you’ll cherish forever and willingly giving in to your desperate tugs on his jacket.

“Yoongi, I—”

You hear another insistent knock before he slings you into the nearest wall, and he grips the back of your head so hard you sob into his mouth. 

“I know.”

His name rattles around your mouth.

“It’ll be okay.”

You wanna believe him.

“Okay?”

But you only nod, eyes filled with oceans but gaze unwavering. Because you need to see him. Because you need to see him. 

“Fuck.” 

He smashes his lips on yours once more, capturing every soft plea for him to stay and holding you so tightly that your heart splinters. And while you know this is his way of telling you everything will be okay, you have a sinking suspicion that he is fighting to believe it himself.

It’s not fair.

None of this is fucking fair. 

If he was anyone else, if you were anyone else, if your brother wasn’t the way he was, if Jungkook wasn’t in the position he’s in now. 

It was just nights ago that you cradled all his moonlight in your palms.

And now you’ll be farther apart than stars. 

Yoongi finally pulls away right as Dom opens the door, and a myriad of emotions slosh into your brain when his eyes never leave you. 

“I got us,” he vows, finger on your chin the sole thing keeping you afloat, and you suspend in disbelief that someone you know is witnessing his lips press your forehead in real time and no explosions or helicopters are crashing onto the scene.

Just a panicked “Hurry up, for god’s sake!” to indicate your friend is not amused or phased.

Yoongi finally steps away, slowly backing up before slipping out, and the door closes with only you inside—hand clawing deep into your chest. 

Because you know him well enough.

He was committing your every feature to memory. 

And the desperation in his reddened eyes hunches you forward in pain.

The rest of the party goes on. Music booms, people laugh, conversations sparkle.

And you hear them all through your door.

Unmoved from the spot everyone left you in.

Idiot🙄 [1:34am]: Hey

Idiot🙄 [1:34am]: You up or nah?

You [1:40am]: yeah

Idiot🙄 [1:40am]: Help me clean up

You scoff at your phone, letting it fall from your hand before resting tired eyes between your knees. 

When it buzzes again, you reluctantly read it with vision unreflecting.

Idiot🙄 [1:42am]: Left food for you, too

That you will leave your room for. You may have just cried out your weight in tears alone.

You🙄 [1:46am]: ok

Idiot🙄 [1:46am]: 👍

Cleaning is a quiet event, with you both doing the chores you’ve defaulted to over the years. While he clears the floors and deals with the trash, you steadily get through the dishes, scrubbing them as well as you can before placing them in the washer to dry.

A plate. A bowl after that. 

Two whisky glasses even though there were plenty of solo cups to use.

You needed this. Needed a way of going through the motions and letting your brain fly on autopilot. If you sniffle, the water drowns it out, and only the dishes get to see any lingering tears.

And unluckily for you, there are plenty of both.

“Hey.”

You hum.

“Do I need to beat his ass?”

Well, that didn’t take long. 

Frustration tears its way up your throat on all fours, “I should kick yours for what you did back there.”

“And I’d deserve it.” 

You pause.

“But I still wanna know.” 

Sighing, you shake your head, knowing that neither of you are angry enough to fight anyways. “No, okay? I was serious. We talked.” 

“I know you talked but he still hurt you.”

Your lip stings under your teeth.

“And I can’t just let that go.”

When he stops, you place another dish on its rack. “Let’s just finish and I’ll tell you everything in a sec.” 

He sets down the last of his trash before retiring in the living room, the thump of weary weight squeezing a sigh out of the couch.

And you eventually join him, water cutting off with a squeak before you shuck off your gloves. 

As you walk through the cleaned-enough rooms, you keep hearing afterimages of conversations, wondering how many revolved around your shouting match with Jungkook, or how many speculated who Yoongi is or isn’t seeing. 

All these pretend scenarios mock you from all sides. 

But the conversation you’re about to have with your brother is gonna be real. And a long time coming, quite frankly. 

You take a breath before crossing into a space that’s seen and heard many things. While you take residence in your regular spot on the sofa, your brother doesn’t deter his gaze from a television that’s not on.

But as soon as you blurt out your confession, he slowly closes his eyes. 

“He broke up with me. Before I left for school.” 

“...Why didn’t you tell me.”

Brows scrunched, you waste no time in pinning him with your response, “Did you see yourself back there? Imagine if you found out back then.”

Silence. 

“Besides,” you continue, deflating back into the cushions, “He was moving, remember? And you had enough going on. I didn’t want you to worry.”

“I always worry.” 

“It’s whatever at this point. I didn’t even know he was back until Yoo—you told me.”

Shit, that was close. 

“I shouldn’t have made it a surprise.” 

“Not your fault. What’s done is done.” When you observe the blank screen, you can see your brother aim a look your way. “Just made the whole uni thing miserable at first.” 

And the years after, too, but he doesn’t need the same details that Yoongi got. 

He sighs, hand scratching the side of his head before free-falling. When it’s quiet, you think he’s preparing for war. Prepping a vow to go after Jungkook and dealing with a problem that’s not yours anymore. 

But he doesn’t do that. What he says catches you completely off guard.

An apology.

“I’m sorry I’m always gone. Or not really here when I’m back.” 

Where did that come from? Are you already done with a talk you dreaded for years? 

This can’t be it. 

Blinking, your mouth slowly opens before you respond as level as possible. “It’s okay. I can pretty much fend for myself at this point.” 

“I know. But I’ll try to be better.” 

He’s gonna what? “Why?”

“Cus I feel… Uhh.” He moves his lips around in thought, as if the next sentence takes strategy to arrange. “I feel like we don’t really talk anymore.” 

“…Oh.”

You’re thoroughly thrown. Because who the hell is this person you’re talking to right now? What’s up with him? He doesn’t need to try anything better except calm the fuck down sometimes. And let you be an adult.

And frankly, you feel like you talk a normal amount anyway. At least, you didn’t think anything was off about it. 

What the hell happened after he left your room?

Suddenly, you see him laugh at the ground before asking it a question. “Remember when we’d go get our own food?” 

Alright, he’s definitely drunk or a clone. 

But you’ll take it. This switch in what you expected this conversation to be is a welcome one, and you softly entertain memories that aren’t supposed to be this funny. “Yeah. We’d get told to come back with our parents.” 

“Until they realized we kept going alone.” 

A memory makes you smirk. “You even tried dressing like a grown up.” 

He chuckles again, elbows resting on his knees as he watches your coffee table. “I really thought I did it, too.” 

“You did.” Thinking about all the shit you both went through, it’s truly a wonder how you’re both still here. Living and existing and doing big things. 

A rueful chuckle leaves your lips, floating to the floor. “We’re fucked up, huh.” 

“Very,” he agrees. “But who isn’t.” 

True. “It could be worse, I think.” 

“How?” 

You play with some of the frays on your sofa, wondering when this piece of furniture started to resemble thin lines of too-soft polyester at its edges. 

Did it start to give up around the same time your parents did? Or had their patience worn thin way before the threads on this cushion began to fade? 

Whichever truth remains, at least it’s still here—witnessing all the struggles and triumphs, the highs and lows, and all the times the two of you had sat in puffy-eyed silence. 

Together. 

“They could’ve left us somewhere else.” 

“Ah,” he nods, slowly shaking his head and twisting the watch on his wrist. “Nah.” 

Silent, your eyes find his side profile in due time. “No?”

And his glare burns the path ahead. Just like it always has. “I wouldn’t have let them.” 

“Oh, really.”

“I got them to leave us all this, didn’t I?”

Wait, he did what now?

…You didn’t know that. 

“Hold on,” you breathe slow. “That’s what happened?”

“We had a deal.” He sighs before leaning all the way back, hands joined at the knuckles on his stomach. “If I graduated with full marks and, uhh. Got a starting salary high enough, they’d pay for your tuition.”

The pause he makes weighs a ton. 

“And leave this to us when you came back.” 

So… He… 

Holy shit. 

You were just fucking relieved you didn’t have to pay any loans. For once, you thought your parents really had your best interests in mind and did something out of kindness before peacing the fuck out. 

But it’s all because your brother negotiated and pulled off the near impossible? 

…Is he paying loans? 

“I didn’t know any of that,” you whisper, finding yourself on the verge of tears again.

He simply shrugs, looking down at his cherished piece that he rarely takes off. “You didn’t need to. You were just a kid.”

“So were you.”

Your brother purses his lips, and you wonder what words he could be holding back. What thoughts he has that he won’t say out loud. If any of them are things he wants to say but can’t. 

“It’s whatever.”

He had to grow up fast so that you didn’t have to. 

And you don’t have the heart to tell him that university fast tracked that anyways. 

So, while grateful as hell and knowing you’ll be thinking about this conversation for years, you switch the subject. You’re already overwhelmed as is. 

And you suddenly understand what Yoongi might be struggling with, too. 

Because if he did all this for you, what lengths has he gone for his best friend? 

Shoving that thought into a far corner of your brain, you rest your head to mirror your sibling, letting your tears slide back to where they came from. “I, umm. Was wondering why they left us the house. But I figured they just didn’t wanna pay for it.” 

“It was already paid off,” he explains, seemingly just as happy to talk about something else. “Don’t ask me how I know this, but it’s how I was able to negotiate in the first place. They had four other properties, and a condo on some island.” 

“What.”

“That’s why they were rarely here. Work trips, my ass.” He scoffs before bouncing a leg. “And they had us in this place.” 

“I like it here, though.”

“I do, too, but…” You hear a shuffle of his feet before he stops. “I just. I dunno, it’s just us here. It feels...” 

“Empty?” 

“Maybe. More like something’s missing? I dunno, that’s probably lame.” 

You inhale before assuring him. “It’s not.” 

And with that, you’re both left to stare at the same ceiling, conversation stewing and simmering around the whole room.

Usually, this is when you leave. Because you don’t wanna talk about shit like this, or you simply feel like doing anything else. 

But tonight, you want to stay. You didn’t know these things about your brother and what he did, and it’s making you realize a lot of things. 

And regret others. 

A question rolls off your tongue before you can overthink it, “Do you ever wonder what we did wrong?” 

“All the time.” 

“When I think about it, I always end up thinking the same thing.” 

“Hmm.” 

You tilt your head his way. “We weren’t the adults. But neither were they.” 

And you both huff in tandem after he grins. “Damn.” 

You don’t know how the two of you got here. But it was much better than talking about anything else, and you silently thank him for not making you more miserable than you already were. 

Truthfully, you feel a little better instead.

He just needs to know for sure that you really are past the whole situation. Mostly. A healthy amount, at least. 

So you tell him. “I mean it, thou—”

“I’m sorry.”

“Huh?” You look over to see regret fill his side of the couch.

“For what I did. I was outta line.”

“Oh.” You swallow, surprisingly emotional that he’s even owning up to it. You know it only happened because he was being protective, but hearing this from him is huge. That had to be hard. “Thank you.”

“I just.. I love you, okay?” He turns to look at the ceiling again, and you quickly have to do the same because you know how that was even tougher to say. “You and my brothers.. You’re all I’ve got.” 

Liquid emotion runs down your cheek, never having been told that more than once in a single day.

It’s a shame how foreign it sounds when you say it back. 

But that doesn’t make it any less true.

“Love you, too.”

An hour later, you find yourself in bed, clutching your phone while a single question loops through your brain.  

…Calling should be okay, right?

Even if you can’t see him, or really be in the same room, this should be okay. At least, in the dead of night when even birds are asleep. When no one is awake to judge you both for lying to the people you... 

Your chest squeezes when you press down on your decision, the talk with your brother repeating in your ears.

Yoongi: Outgoing Call

It’s ringing.

Still ringing.

…And you feel your chest cave when you hear it go to voicemail.

Fuck. 

Maybe he’s sleeping already. Unforeseen circumstances like emotional turmoil tend to slow down your getting ready for bed process, so it took a lot longer than usual. Maybe he isn’t actively avoiding your calls and is just face down in a pillow you miss using.

And maybe you need to get used to this god-awful feeling as quickly as you can. 

This hollow, aching, painful feeli—

Yoongi: Incoming Call

Your chest booms when you see his name, and you try your absolute hardest to answer normally even though instant tears blur the screen.

“H—”

“Sorry, I was showering, fuck.”

His breath sounds so rushed, and you immediately wonder what he looks like if he didn’t take that long to answer. Imagining him in only a towel or less, you let out a pained chuckle before whispering, “You okay?”

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking that?”

Of course that’s his answer. “I’m not. Just wondering if you were.”

“Why would I be if you aren’t? Ow.”

Body alert, you only focus on that last syllable. “Wait, are you hurt?”

You hear a low grunt before he responds. 

“Just hit my fucking knee getting out.” 

Ouch. How the hell did he do that? “I’m sorry. You got ice, though, right?” 

“It’s not that bad. Just stings.” 

“Okay.”  

There’s some crunching sounds before you hear footsteps and hisses, and a thump before other noise crackles through. 

“Spoke to Kook.” 

Shit.

“And the guys.”

Oh. About work. “What’s up?”

“We’re gonna be busy as shit for the next month or two, so.. Guess that came at a good time.” 

Ah. No finish line in sight.

But he didn’t hide that information from you, so you appreciate the honesty. Better than him leaving you in complete darkness.

“Yeah, do your thing,” you support. “I need to prep for this interview anyway. And figure shit out if I end up getting the job.” 

“When you get it.”

You exhale, shy. “When I get it, yeah.”

“Where is it again? That blue building, yeah?”

“Mmhmm. But where I’ll be is like, third floor.”

“See? Claiming shit already.”

You realize right as he says it, but you meant something completely different. Your laugh is soft. “I meant for the interview.” 

“Mm. Well lemme know where you post up after they hire you.”

“Yoongi.”

“Fine.”

“Did you, umm. Did you and Kook talk about anything else?”

“Just work stuff.”

“Okay.” Your eyes lower. If he’s telling you everything, you gotta reciprocate. 

Even the stuff you don’t wanna mention. “He tried to kiss me.”

“What.”

Swallowing at his tone, you whisper, “I told him I couldn’t.” 

“…I see.”

Fuck. He does not sound okay with that in the slightest. Disappointed with yourself, you apologize, “I’m sorry.”

“Huh? Don’t be.”

“You sound mad.”

There’s another moment of silence, and you don’t think you breathe until he responds,

“Not at you, doll.”

Well, shit. You don’t wanna cause any friction between them, especially after the energy Jungkook gave off earlier. It’s still bugging you to hell. “Nothing happened, baby. But he felt really off after y’all left, so.. I dunno. Be careful.”

“I will. But that means I can’t talk when he’s around.”

You bury your head, watching the hours that you get with Yoongi dwindle away. Knowing Jungkook, he’s gonna immerse himself in whatever keeps him distracted. So he will most likely be at the studio just as much. “At least you were there today,” you whisper. 

“Mm.”

“Honestly, I didn’t expect that.” 

There’s a breath on the line, and you can tell he’s hesitant just by the way he moves his phone. So when he finally speaks, your jaw goes slack.

“I was there first, doll.” 

He what?

“Wait… You were?” 

He was at your door first? He has to know how that looked, right? Your brother clearly saw him if he was the one to shout, and yet there was no mention of it when the two of you spoke. 

Maybe that’s part of why Yoongi decided what he did. A decision to help you came with consequences he knew were coming. But he did it anyway. 

Your breath is suddenly short. And your head is starting to spin with information overload.

“The plan was to only check for a sec, but he had the same idea. Showed up right behind me.” 

“So… You both heard—”

“Nothing until the yelling.” 

They were there the whole time. Both of them. Yoongi first? Your brother joining him? 

Nope. This is too much. All of this is way too much for one night and your head is bursting at the seams. 

Just another reason why this separation could be a good thing. Other than the fact that Jungkook seems weird and you can’t see Yoongi at all and him and your brother really are more than friends and you wedged yourself right in between everybody—

Information. Realizations. Guilt. You’re spiraling. 

Run.

“I’m, umm. I’m gonna get off now.” 

“You okay?”

Say yes. Say anything but “No. I’m… I don’t know, I really don’t know—This is a lot and—”

“Wait—” 

“I get it and I’ll stay away for as long as you want—”

“Babe, talk to—”

“Bye, Yoongi.”

And you immediately hang up before your dam floods.

He doesn’t need to hear your grief over the past, your regrets of the present, your fear of the future. He doesn’t need to know how pained you really feel dealing with everything at once. How harsh his departure is because this is when you need him most. 

Yoongi: Missed Call

All he needs to know is that you’ll do this for him. Because he would do the same for you. 

And he’s done enough for everyone other than himself. 

But goddamn if this doesn’t hurt like nothing else you’ve experienced before. 

And you’ve been through hell.

Yoongi: Missed Call (2)

Why is he calling? Won’t this just make it harder?

Why does he keep trying if you need to stay away?

Yoongi: Incoming Call

With a heart so busted you don’t know where all the pieces are, you finally reach up to acknowledge his effort. 

And his greeting sends a pang through your chest.

“Knew you’d answer on the first try.” 

Sniffling, you say his name so, so softly.  

“You didn’t let me say bye.”

When you don’t respond, he trudges on.

“So now, you get to hear the longest good night ever.”

Huh? 

“And no hanging up this time.”

What the heck does he… mean… 

As soon as you hear the light strums of a guitar, your heart shows signs of life. And you let everything out while he gathers the scattered shards with every chord. Every note. 

Every second he doesn’t say goodbye.

A river flows into your pillow until it runs dry, and the Moon outside your blinds casts a silver blanket over your defeated shoulders.

And it’s only when you and your phone are dead to the world that the Sun steps in to peel it off with calm palms.

For the first time in a long time, you plan a sleepover at Taehyung’s. 

And after getting a rundown of what happened, he completely agrees that you both need it.

It’s been a minute since you slept over there, and rolling onto his driveway makes you remember the first time it happened. 

Your brother was outright flabbergasted you even asked. 

But after some arguments from you and very clear energy from Tae, your brother waved you off and just demanded no funny shit better happen. 

And you’ve spent so many nights over there since then that Taehyung’s one of the people he calls if he’s looking for you. 

Being reminded of something else interesting, you think back to the first time you went to Yoongi’s, spending enough time there that he ended up on the list of people to call about your whereabouts. 

As hot as he was picking up with a cheeky arm around you, it was surprising he was on that list in the first place. 

Well, maybe not. They’re best friends. But why would he—

“You just gonna waste gas in my driveway or what?” 

Snapping your head up, you see Taehyung looking bored, hands on his hips and wearing the most comfortable clothes you’ve ever seen. 

Your glare in return is empty when you finally get out, circling around to grab your stuff and take-out from the passenger seat. 

“You’re lucky I like you,” you joke as he goes to grab the food. Locking your car, you follow his grumbles into the house with a laugh, feeling a little okay already.

“How’s Jimin?”

“Still complicated, but that’s not what we’re here to discuss.”

You sigh before you poke your noodles, knowing you have quite the catch-up to get through. If only your attempt at procrastination worked.

“Eat,” Taehyung orders before taking a hearty slurp of his meal. “I don’t care if you’re sad, this wasn’t cheap.” 

“Excuse you.” He’s lucky you resist the urge to fling saucy food all over his shorts. “Also, I paid for it, the hell?” 

When your friend blows air through his nose, you scoff before silently doing as he says, pouting at the beginning credits onscreen.

“How long has it been?”

Ah. That’s a good start. 

As you peer down at your food, emotion and appetite abandon your palate,

“A month.”

“...Damn.” 

Taehyung already knows all about what happened. But even if he didn’t, you think he would’ve caught on to your increasingly depressing song choices. And the way you barely watched Yoongi during the last intramural game. 

“How’s the new job, though? Good distraction?” 

That you can talk about for hours. “Thank fuck it is.” 

“That’s good, at least.”

As your meal progresses, you continue to catch him up on everything, including the way night calls are the only thing keeping your hopes afloat. 

Because Yoongi was right. Ever since the party, weekdays have been radio silent, and you soon got accustomed to looking forward to his late texts saying he’s home.

And you’ve been okay with that. Landing the job and getting swamped with training has kept you busy, and your friends have been a wonderful salve for persisting wounds.

It just stings when you know the studio is close by. Because even though Yoongi extended invitations before, you avoid that area like the plague.

“But enough about me,” you huff. “Still complicated with him, huh.” 

If Taehyung knows you’re too sad to keep talking, he doesn’t show it. His response simply comes after a few chews. “Yeah. But”—he swallows—“Not in a way I’m mad about.” 

“What do you mean?” 

Taehyung settles back into the sofa right as a ball of fluff hops on, and you watch the movie roll by while he gently orders him to get down. “He’s not as flaky. We just haven’t really labeled anything yet.” 

That’s surprising to hear. Tae doesn’t strike you as the labeling type at all, so your question is genuine, “Do you need one?” 

A huff is what you get in return, and you can hear the smile in his tone. “He seems to want one more than me. Which is why I don’t get the hesitation.” 

“Mm.” 

That makes more sense. Knowing what you know about Jimin, you aren’t shocked he would be conflicted about something he really wants. 

Why he’s skirting around the point is the question. It’s clear to you that they would be so cute together. And sickly annoying in public. 

“Maybe that’s a good sign,” you blurt, roping your friend’s gaze and attention. Spotlight on you instead of the characters bustling about his television, you smile. “It’s like he’s scared because he cares about your feelings.” 

Not unlike what’s happening between another pair of friends you know.

Taehyung blinks, and you’ve always liked the way curiosity widens his eyes. 

But he’s so quiet that you shift. “What?” 

He keeps staring before biting an incoming smile. Before you can question him again, something brightens his expression. “You’ve changed, you know that?” 

Huh. “Me? How?” 

Your friend just grins before resting his head on the top of his cushion. “I’ve always known you were amazing. But now you look like you know that, too.” 

All thoughts fizzle out before your jaw dips. When you try to present arguments, none materialize, and Taehyung laughs at the way you physically buffer. 

“Not even denying it. I like this.” 

“Shut up,” you finally pout, embarrassed and shy when he laughs again. 

The rest of the film continues with nothing else but your commentary, and Taehyung clicks out of the queue screen before another one can start. 

“Break? Or what do you feel like?” 

You feel Yeontan’s fluff at your feet. “We can keep going.” 

“Mmk.” 

Both of you contemplate which one to pick when you feel your phone vibrate a ton. And when you see the notification, your heart leaps before crashing back down to the ground.

Yoongi [5:02pm]: Just got booked for another week

Yoongi [5:03pm]: Can’t talk now but

Yoongi [5:03pm]: Letting you know

Right.

You slowly let your hand drop with a sigh, and you can feel Taehyung’s pitied stare without moving.

“I know,” you whisper. “I shouldn’t be upset.” 

“You can definitely be upset.” 

You lift weary eyes to see that your assumption was very wrong. There’s no pity evident at all. 

Only warmth. And understanding. 

“Cus knowing him? He’s probably more frustrated than you are.” 

There’s a pinch in your chest, a sharp one that cuts your breath for a small second in time. 

Him? Being more upset than you?

You only thought about that possibility once, but you quickly dismissed it. There’s no way. 

But hearing Tae say it from a guy’s perspective—and someone that knows how Yoongi can be—gives you pause. 

It just didn’t make sense before because he sounds fine when you call, and he doesn’t really talk much about his own shit unless you ask. Which is strange considering he was fine doing so after your huge breakthrough at his place. Granted, it was mostly about good things.

Does he only hold back when it’s about stuff that stresses him out? That’s not ideal. You’ve told him before to tell you what’s bothering him, so if he’s still hesitant to let you in…

Taehyung’s honeyed voice brings you into the present, 

“What are you gonna say?” 

Blinking, you push your lips together in thought before looking at your phone again. 

If Yoongi really is more upset than you are, then you should tell him something that you would wanna hear from him. Even if you aren’t feeling so hot. 

You [5:07pm]: how’s ur back feel from carrying everyone so hard🥴 

You [5:07pm]: jk its ok<3 you’re getting recognized and it’s about time 

When you send those, something strange happens to your shoulders. 

They’re lighter. 

How is that possible? You’re still sad. 

But your mind seems to clear some junk out, instead feeling a little okay about the whole thing. 

Hopefully Yoongi receives them well. If he doesn’t, you’ll figure something else out. 

Yoongi [5:09pm]: Lmaoo I’m saying. They better run me my check and cover my hospital bills.

You laugh with teary eyes, soul feeling like it’ll live despite plans being pushed back again. 

The lingering sadness remains, but it’s dwindled for now. An afterthought to the slight happiness you feel from lifting him up instead of dragging him down.

Another message slides into the thread before you click your phone shut, so when Tae gets more food, you catch what it says. 

Yoongi [5:11pm]: Fuck I miss you

And your heart beats extra loud, mouth slightly curved and wobbly because you agree but it’s okay, okay, okay. You can both do this. 

You [5:12pm]: i miss you too.. but focus now and tell me all about it later

Of course you want to cry. Of course you want to curl up into a ball and sob. 

Yoongi [5:15pm]: Thanks doll

But just like there’s strength in being strong, there’s just as much strength in being gentle. 

Because as upset as you feel, it’s better if you don’t show it. While you aren’t completely resolute, you push forward in silence. Even if you can’t see the finish line.

The lingering feeling of anxiousness remains; the what-if’s batter your mind from the inside. But you choose to stay optimistic for him, and even you have to admit that’s admirable.

But the yearning still packs a fucking punch.

Your shoulders must be slumping to hell because you feel a warm presence settle against you, slinging an arm around and holding you close. 

The only sound you make is a quick sniffle, but you don’t move as Taehyung reads the thread on your phone. 

“You see what I see, right,” is all he whispers. 

And when you slightly shrug, he leans his head against yours. 

“You will.” 

Nodding, you feel more tears follow the paths of their predecessors, and you don’t move to wipe them away. “You’re a good person, Tae.” 

His chuckle sounds like a hearth, and you welcome Yeontan’s sniffs on your legs.

“Jimin’s lucky you’re even giving him a chance.” 

“Ah.” After squeezing your bicep, your friend reaches down to pick up his baby. “He’s lucky I gave him more than one.” 

“Oh? The luckiest then.” 

“You can do this,” he murmurs. “He’ll be ready before you know it.” 

With heavy eyes, you glance down at your still unfinished food. 

“Maybe you’re right.” 

One week turns into three. 

Then two more pass.

And Taehyung might be less correct than you thought. 

“Fuck,” you groan, clutching under your stomach. “Sorry, I’m a mess.”

“It’s okay.”

“At least you don’t have to see me this gross.”

“So?”

“You better stop.” Another eruption of pain shoots through your lower body, and you exhale into your pillow. “This is only making it worse.”

“You got a heating pad?”

A what? How does he know about— 

Oh. Right. 

…You probably shouldn’t tread waters you don’t know the depths of. 

“Yeah. But it’s too far and I’m lazy.”

He laughs in pity but doesn’t show any in his words,

“Go get it, doll.”

Because being reminded of his last relationship also makes you wonder why it ended. And wonder if that also has anything to do with his decision. 

Now hurt in multiple ways, you childishly retort, “You get it.”

“I would if I was there. But I’m not, so you’re gonna.”

“Fine.” You huff into your pillowcase, knowing you’re gonna get up because his perfect mix of support and command is annoyingly attractive. “How much longer?”

Yoongi’s too quiet for your tastes. 

“I’ll figure it out tomorrow.” 

Eyes closed, you’re silent for eons. 

“Okay.”

To your confusion, you get a food delivery at your office the next day. 

Inspecting the contents of the bag, you’re cautious until you notice a takeout box of mandu under some sweets and a few all too familiar fruits.

And at the note inside, you promptly proceed to the least used bathroom to compose yourself.

Soon.

Soon and Almost are somewhat similar.

Both can give people a bit of hope. 

But they can also be the most dangerous words to play with.

Because soon is hilariously arbitrary, and you almost believed it meant something good. 

“Going to Yoongi’s.”

“K.”

“You wanna go? He’s having a few people over.”

You bite down so hard your jaw hurts. “Nah, I already have plans tonight.”

“K. Have fun!”

When the door closes, you keep your eyes on the television.

Arms falling at your side because you know you aren’t going anywhere. 

On a random Tuesday, you finally get a package you’ve been waiting on for what seems like months, and you rush to your room to check if it’s exactly what you wanted.

When it looks so beautiful, and feels smooth to the touch, you clutch the material in sorrow.

It’s perfect.

And completely useless for the time being.

Calls have been the one thing getting you by.

But over time, even those have virtually stopped.

It can’t be helped. He’s working far too late into the night for you to stay awake, and is passed out by the time you need to wake up. 

Spending time with friends helps distract from the drift, especially when one of them keeps snapping you into the present, but they’re getting busy, too. 

However. Despite all the obstacles, you keep waiting. A season has passed, yet you stay grounded. 

Hoping, wishing, choosing to believe that Yoongi’s not gonna do the same.

You accidentally spill your drink.

And you sob. 

One chilly night, you take more of Taehyung’s advice, going to Jimin’s determined to have a good time. 

But despite the manufactured confidence you had while getting dressed up and the way you were totally fine walking in and conversing with people and the admittedly perfect vibes of the party…

There’s a hole in your chest that won’t decrease in size. 

No matter what you feed it—food, drinks, the compliments of others—it refuses to budge, and this emptiness holds weight. Heavy. Melancholic.

Painful.

As you suddenly find yourself on Jimin’s windy balcony, one with a slightly different view than the one you’ll remain on forever, dull eyes lower to your solo. 

If you forget this one on the railing, too…

Will he finally show up to hand it back? 

A sharp ache spreads as the hole expands, new tears too powerful to ignore. You know your vision swims, but you don’t move to stay afloat at all. 

Three months. 

Ninety days.

Eight million seconds. 

It only took sixty for you to miss him. And it only took sixty-one for you to feel something else. 

How many more will you end up counting? How long until you get to count down instead of up? 

You keep asking yourself that. When you know for damn sure that you don’t want to know the answer. 

A breeze wraps around your limbs as you sip, the chill cutting through your dress and making you teeter in your heels. 

Because it seems like Yoongi doesn’t know, either. 

To the point where it’s starting to scare you. 

Has he been perfect otherwise? Sickeningly. 

But something in you keeps wondering why the wait keeps extending, anxious that he could be flat out stalling. 

Prematurely saddened by the possibility that he’s reconsidering entirely.

It makes sense. At least, more sense than him actually wanting something with you. Maybe this time apart has given him the clarity to realize how rose-tinted this whole situation has been. How unrealistic and laughable.

But that night in his kitchen… 

It’s getting harder and harder to stay positive.

On the verge of defeat, you hold out your phone, clicking around until your finger hovers over a certain Call button.

You can’t.

He’s working. Someone could see your name, if he has it saved as normal as you have his.

Your finger moves a bit closer.

What the fuck are you doing? Stop. Don’t screw up everything you’ve had to endure with one impulsive decision.

But your mind is fucking bad tonight and you have no clue why.

When the screen lights up with the call screen anyway, ice water rushes through because you totally didn’t mean to call and you need to end it now. 

Hold on, it’s an incoming call?

Oh fuck, it’s an incoming call.

Your throat sears as your eyes shut tight. 

How the fuck did he know? How the fuck does he always know? 

Tears burning, you try your hardest to calm the hell down before you answer, wondering why he dubs you his good luck charm when he puts guardian angels to shame.

You can’t even say hello.

“Hey.”

Fuck. Get it together. Gentle, silent, strong. 

“Hello?”

But you can’t. Not this time. Just hearing his voice for the first time in weeks has you crumbling, and that damn hole in your chest is unquenchable. 

As soon as your greeting is nothing but a weak sniffle, his change in tone seizes your soul and squeezes.

Because it plummets.

“Where are you.”

There’s quick shuffling and a door opening.

“What’s wrong.” 

Damn it there’s keys jangling and you can’t help but sob even harder knowing exactly what he’s doing. 

Goddamn it, Min Yoongi. He doesn’t have to go home just because you’re what, sad? Pathetic.

You feel way too many things for this man and it fucking sucks that eight million seconds have gone by after you finally acknowledged them.

However many you get with him now, whenever that may be, you’re not taking a single one for granted. 

“Babe, tell me. Now.” 

“Jimin’s. Outside,” you choke out, sniffling and wiping both cheeks. “But nothing happened, Yoongi, I just—It just—” 

“Gimme twenty. Can you do that?” 

Lowering your head and expectations, you huff in sad amusement. 

Of course you can. Twenty minutes is nothing to you now. You can wait until he’s free. “Guess so.” 

“K. Go back inside and grab a bag.” 

Huh? Knitted brows get aimed at your cup as you question him.

“Chips, doll. Jimin has some in the pantry.” 

That doesn’t answer anything, so you remain thoroughly confused. “I’ll be okay,” you respond after a moment, simply assuming he wants you to replenish sodium. “I’m not hungry.”  

“I am.”

You freeze.

So does time.

And the next three seconds are enough.

“But you better bring the good shit or I’m not letting you in the car.”

After camping in the only unoccupied bathroom, you finally get a text that he’s somewhere around the corner. 

And your chest has never felt lighter.

Texting Tae, you let him know that you’re leaving and that you don’t apologize to Jimin for raiding his kitchen. When he responds, that’s when you slip out, your departure a mess of crinkling and racing heartbeats. 

If anyone sees you walking out with chips, you pay them no mind. Because you only care what one person thinks.

And seven minutes later, when you see him doubling over at the bazillion noisy bags in your arms, you laugh along at the absurdity of it all.

It’s almost enough to distract you from what he’s wearing. 

But to your credit, you don’t exactly see the damn rips in his jeans until he opens a back door for you to throw your haul in.

As if the black top wasn’t already disrespectful enough. His hair has even gotten longer, and you really, really like the new length.

“Fucking hustler.”

No second is wasted as you grab his shirt, positively melting at the way he doesn’t resist or shy away at all. 

In fact, he does the exact opposite, crushing you against his warm car so fast he has to brace himself. You welcome the way air leaves your lungs, because you’re giving it all to him with each pass of his lips over yours. 

Both of you know you’re outside, in public, somewhere you can be seen. But, mirroring the last time you kissed under a starry sky, neither of you act like you give a shit.

Just like that, everything that has haunted you fades. The worries, the fears, the doubts. It doesn’t matter how many days have passed, because it feels like he never left. 

And you suddenly know Yoongi is summer.

Endless. 

“Get in,” he rasps through a smirk. “Thief.” 

With a grin spread so wide your cheeks hurt, you respond right as your foreheads meet,

“Anything for you.”

With nothing but the road ahead and him beside you, everything is right with the world.

“You still have to gimme chips.” 

Maybe not quite everything.

Smile ruining your attempted pout, you reach behind your seat to pick a random bag, settling on the easiest one to grab. “You really made me get these just for you, huh? Are you eating?”

“Yes, my love. And I never said that.”

Well. That first sentence will never, ever, ever be unpacked.

As you shakily open the bag, you hope his music hides your shiver, “Such a smartass.”

“You’re the smartass.”

“Don’t act like you aren’t smart, too,” you laugh, tugging down your dress because he has his car pretty cold tonight. “I know you are.” 

When Yoongi reaches to grab some crisps, his blatant stare on your thighs makes you squirm. “Why?” 

“I just… You read.” 

To your chagrin, he laughs in surprise, forcing you to look out the window. 

Which makes you miss the way he turns down the fans. “I’m smart cus I read? How do you even know?”

“You have books under your coffee table,” you answer without doubt as he digs for more chips. “And you don’t have decor just to have it, so…”

He cocks a brow before focusing on the road, licking his fingers and giving you grief. “I moved those, by the way.”

“Em”—you cough—“Embarrassed?”

“Proactive.”

“Huh? For what?”

He can barely contain his spreading curve. “The next time you decide to fuck up my place.” 

Your heartbeat skips as you gawk, and the current song is overshadowed by your playful shouts and tickle attempts. “Oh, bullshit!”

“You soaked—aish—my whole apartment!”

“That was you!”

“No?”

“Yes? I was nice and only got your head wet!”

Yoongi glances at you then, head tilted up in cockiness and wide smirk slicing through your every thought.

And you glitch when you realize why.

Settling back into your seat with arms guarding your shyness, you sniff upward. “Ugh. Whatever… I’m right.” 

He chuckles a bit before making a turn, and the scenery starts getting familiar.

Way too familiar.

Wait, he’s taking you back to your house?

No no no. Why is he taking you there? 

You got into his car fully prepared to go back to his place, consequences and shit be damned. Everything else be damned. One night is all you want right now, and there’s no way you aren’t going without a fight.

All sense of the current mood dissipates when you grip his forearm. “Not there.” 

He flicks his gaze, rolling to a stop at an intersection that’s frighteningly close. And his expression falls when he shifts into park with a sigh. “Babe… We can’t.” 

“I don’t care.”

“I was only gonna bring you back.”

“Baby, please.”

“He’s home—”

“Do you still miss me?” 

He freezes. 

Which gives you a chance. 

Eyes glossy, you use all the seconds you have to say everything you’ve kept to yourself.

Almost everything.

“Because I get it if you don’t. I do. But I really… I really fucking miss you. And not just because of, whatever. But I consider you a friend and fun as hell to be around, and I haven’t”—you inhale, hating how it shakes—“I haven’t been this happy in weeks. And we aren’t even doing anything.” 

Yoongi is completely silent. But that’s okay because you aren’t done. 

“I know you said I wouldn’t see you. But after getting to know you? The real you? …That sucks.” You can’t look at him when his hand slips from the wheel. “I’m not gonna make you change anything, just. Telling you what’s on my mind. Like you said. I’m gonna do that a lot more now.”

He doesn’t say a word as a tear cuts one of your cheeks, and you’re brave enough to look his way again. “But it’s been three months, Yoongi,” you whisper. “Is that still not enough for you?”

Time ticks as you hold your breath, oxygen depleting and lungs nearing collapse as you watch his eyes close. 

You laid everything out on the table. Your words, your thoughts, your pain.

Whatever he decides, though? You’ll respect it. You said what you wanted to say and you won’t take any of it back. If he wants to prolong this, you won’t stop him. If he doesn’t want this anymore… the home in your heart will need repairs, but you’ll live. Somewhat. You don’t know how but somehow. People are like seasons. You’re used to it.

Yoongi’s still way too quiet. 

So, giving up and getting the point, you reach up to open your door.

“Stop.” 

You do. 

And the way he flexes his jaw shoots magma through your veins before he wrenches the car into drive. 

The universe spins as you burst into Yoongi’s apartment, running, bumping, slamming into furniture until you get thrown against his bedroom door. 

Welcoming the pain, you devour his scorching lips, fingers digging into his hair with a desperation that frightens you. All you feel is him him him, barely recalling the manic drive over and the way he all but busted into his own place. 

If there were any lingering doubts to your question, they’re left out in the chill, not allowed to witness the way he hitches your leg up before pinning you firm with his pelvis.

“Shouldn’t be fucking doing this—” 

You moan at the way his jeans feel on your skin, shivers running rampant when you more than feel his hardness poke through. “Please,” you pant, sticking to your word and ready to tell him what you want. 

“Please what.” 

Everything you want. 

Tugging his head back, your admissions rub right against his mouth, “Choke me. Use me. I don’t care, do it all.”

“Huh?”

A breath whooshes out when he yanks you forward with a growl, and you cannot seem to stop, “Don’t be nice. Spit in my mouth. Make me beg like a fucking slut, I need it.”

All the other times, you’ve seen Yoongi break in different ways. 

But this is the first time you’ve felt him legitimately snap. 

“The fuck.”

Lightning strikes the dark as he slams you backward, teeth clinking against yours when he smothers you with saliva and lust. When he shoves his door open, you stumble back, more unholy plans in mind than he imagines. 

You don’t know what’s coming over you. 

Even as you force him sideways to shove into his rolling chair, the piercing look he gives is no match for your inner storm.

“Babe—”

Impatient, you drop to your knees, the pain nothing to you as your fingers twitch over his zipper. As you tug his pants down with force, Yoongi’s outright shock is another first for you.

“Are you su—”

“Let me do this,” you plead upward, and you feel highly motivated when he doesn’t do a thing except let out a low, gritty hum. 

Grabbing at his cock, you already moan at the way it feels in your palm…

Softly, oh so softly, a large hand closes over yours, and you hear your name in a whisper, haze temporarily receding. 

What’s wrong? Does he want you to stop?

When you ask without a word, Yoongi leans forward to capture your lips, and this gives you a warm sort of deja vu. “You drank tonight, yeah?” 

“Yeah…?” Oh. He totally tasted alcohol. And your frantic behavior. He thinks—Oh. 

Understanding what he’s getting at, you reach up and caress his cheek. “I’m not drunk, baby,” you chuckle. “I just missed you.” 

Again, he looks at your eyes, one after the other. When you say it once more for good measure, he kisses you in acceptance. 

“So are you gonna fuck my throat or nah?”

He falls back with a groan, raking his hair and legs spread wide. “What are you doing to me.”

“This.”

Without prompt, you dive head first, leaning forward to take his tip and swirl your tongue all around. Commanding his every drop of attention, you don’t let up as you tug your dress downward, breasts spilling out before you stand just enough to claim his lips. 

He takes full advantage with a devilish curve, smacking your tits before ordering, “Get the fuck back down there.”

And you obey with a proud smirk of your own, hoping he’s liking this new side of you, too. 

Back between his knees, you worship his length in earnest, swallowing him again and again and lathering him in saliva so your hands slide easily on him, too. When you feel his veins rub both your palms, you hear a symphony of lustful baritones.

“Holy fuck.” 

You quickly discover you can’t get enough. Lapping, sucking, sheathing your head on his cock so far your brain smushes upward. He feels so familiar at this point that you realize you missed him even here, knocking the back of your throat and burdening your tongue with heavenly, sinful weight. 

And you feel more familiar palms grip your head, eyes opening to see him staring down with reverence and something you can’t quite decipher. 

“So fucking filthy...” 

You chuckle, the rumble making him hiss and throw his head back against his chair. 

“Don’t do that.” 

You gladly disobey, laughing even harder around him before releasing with an expert pop to suck on his balls. 

“Fuck!”

There’s a slight squeak before he grips you again, and you can tell he’s slipping by the way his moans devolve into breathy, short hisses. 

Breaking, he pushes your head into his sack before slapping your cheek with his cock, and you hum as it slips back inside your grin. 

Yes yes yes. You want him to enjoy this just as much as you do, steal this time together and run with it, need him to hang on the brink of mania where you currently reside. Because even though he’s saying things, you can’t hear them over the wholly impure sounds slopping out of your esophagus. 

“Fucking hell, baby,” he praises, thrusting up slow as you keep him slathered. “Missed that fuckin’ mouth.”

You finally come up for air, gulping in air and letting him see you in all your panting glory. When you lock eyes, his lidded gaze is loaded, aimed only at your taunting stare.

Drool coats you in globs. Your chest, the floor, hanging from your lips as you stroke him with wet fingers before swallowing another time. 

And you think you can do this until your jaw falls off.

But suddenly you’re hoisted upward before being thrown onto soft sheets, legs roughly shifted to one side as you paint the dark with your hoarse giggles. Before you know it, his lips attack your chest, and he’s setting butterflies wild as you arch in record time. 

“Take this off,” he growls, tugging at your dress with sweaty fingers that you want lodged in multiple places. “No more hiding.” 

You mewl, undressing as fast as you’re able, tearing the garment off and flinging it away. But your heels are still on, and whether he’s just as deft at removing those, too, you’ll need to hit pause. “What about my—”

“Don’t,” he grits with brows pinched, and his next vow is absolute, pure sin,

“I’m fucking you with them on.” 

“Oh, fuck.” Your whine is high as you throw your head back, the next groan guttural as you feel a hand smack the side of your ass with force. Your jaw comes loose, soreness shooting through its curve as your legs are erotically parted to give Yoongi a view of everything. 

You know your panties are soaked. 

You know he’s gonna wreck your shit. 

But seeing him eye the whole mess on display before lifting his hungry gaze your way? You’re damn sure you aren’t gonna survive the night. 

Perfect. 

“Please fuck me, baby,” you let out with a tone so soft that you think he doesn’t hear you. 

He does. “I’m gonna do a lot more than that, doll.” 

You tilt your head, confused and wondering what he means. 

But he ignores your wordless question, sliding fingers along your ankle before holding your leg to kiss that same spot. 

The action alone is enough to rewire your brain, but it’s the way he looks so confident, so unbothered, so determined that has your insides churning with want. 

He plants lips there again before shifting his hand down to your calf, yanking your leg back wide and pulling a tiny help out of your throat. When he shifts to grip your other leg, he growls under his breath, 

“So fucking perfect.” 

“No, you,” you counter with a pout, and flinch what the fuck his slap to your cunt felt good. “Hey!”

“None of that,” Yoongi orders with finality. “Not after all that shit you said at the door.” 

“I dunno what happened there,” you admit, inevitably shy under his commanding presence. Your cheeks sizzle before your teeth grip your lip, temporarily brought back to normalcy at his confession,

“Almost made me come.” 

“Be for real.” 

“Damn serious.” 

The cheshire cat would be jealous of your grin. “Then I should keep going?”

“Uh huh.” He cups your whole cunt, and the possessive nature it exudes pushes a whine against your teeth. “Tell me.” 

“Fuck me like you missed me.” 

A groan rips through his room before he swoops down, lips bruising yours on the landing before he shoves his mouth against your neck. 

Tingles erupt over your skin as he laps at your throat, so hard that your entire upper body slides across his rumpled sheets. When you feel his cock rub across your thong and his jeans grazing your skin, his name flies out of your chest. Moans, sighs, everything in between. 

“Careful,” he warns low before another toe-curling lick. “You won’t leave if I did that.”

“I don’t want to,” you grit in return, reaching to sink claws in his hair and tug. “Wanna stay.”

Strong arms wrap around you before you feel him spread liquid fire up your shoulder, and he reaches to nip at your ear before deft fingers flick a nipple. 

His voice rasps against your cheek, but the words sound reluctant to even leave. “You shouldn’t even be here, babe.”

Fuck. You know that’s true but your heart is rattling like a monster starved. 

“Just tonight,” you plead your case. Because you don’t want to be shooed away before it’s over, but if this is all you get, he needs to do something now. “But if you really don’t want this then please kick me out before—”

“Fuck that.” After greedily tweaking your other nipple, he rolls his body against yours, making you fiend for the weighty cock wedged against you with only thin material between. “Fuck all of that.” 

He rushes upward before nudging your leg over with a strong hand, and you fixate on the way his chains hit his chest. Just like always. “Don’t move.”

You don’t even get to breathe twice as he drops from sight, and you yelp to his roof as soon as you feel teeth nick your inner thigh. At your flinch, you feel him grip your leg with force, ordering you even harsher,

“I said. Don’t move.” 

“But—Yoongi!” 

You don’t notice him yank your underwear sideways before flattening a hot tongue against your folds, sucking so good you have to back away from the stimulation. Immediately, both your legs are seized before he tugs you back to him. 

“Uh uh.”

And he keeps your legs apart before diving deep, and you’ve never devolved into a quivering mess so fast in your goddamn life. The way he licks, sucks, kisses just where you need—everything sends thunder through your chest, lightning across your cunt, rain into your eyes. 

You can do nothing but squirm, squeals and whines and high moans leaving arrowheads in his ceiling. 

Holy fuck, did you sound this loud when you worshipped him? Even now, spread wide and willing to give Yoongi the world, you find a moment to be embarrassed in the best way.

If the neighbors hear, you don’t care. They’re gonna know how well he’s feasting on you, how gorgeously corrupt you feel. How you’re his and his alone and ready to scream it to the rooftops. 

When you feel a finger alongside his tongue, the sound you make borders on inhuman. You think it’s his name, but even you aren’t quite sure. 

All you know is that you’re close. Your thighs are burning and your fingers swipe at his locks but he refuses to let you go. “Yoongi—I’m—”

Suddenly.

He stops. 

And every nice thing you have to say to him falls to the wayside. “No no no! Please, fuck—”

The light tap to your cunt makes you quiver, and your chest heaves when he chuckles without pity,

“What’d you say?” 

“Plea—Baby!” 

“Huh?” 

Every fucking time you speak, he taps again. And every time he gets you close, he edges with aggravating control. Again. And again. 

And again.

You exist between reality and fiction, somehow seeing yourself unwinding, winding, spiraling out of control. Words start to form abstract blobs of syllables, your mouth hanging open as he peppers lazy, unbothered kisses on your thighs.  

In your foggy vision, you think you see him stand. And you’re pretty sure he grabs his cock before he’s rubbing his thick head between your folds oh fuck—

“This is what you wanted, huh.” 

Your breath hitches with a whine as you nod.

“You gonna be a good little slut?” 

Oh, you’re gonna be whatever he fucking wants. So you nod again, not without a smile lopsided. 

“Then fucking beg.” 

He smacks his cockhead against your cunt, springing your back in an arch and tugging strings of incoherent speech from your depths. You make hard lines of his sheets as you grip them in both palms, and you don’t wanna know what you’re saying because the way Yoongi’s staring with a smirk has you blacking the fuck out. 

To the point where you’re nothing but a quivering, shaking, restless mess on his bed.

You somehow closed your eyes at some point, because they fly open when you feel his lips on yours, and you tug at his stupidly attractive shirt that he didn’t bother to pull off. “Please,” you whisper, brain floating oceans away. “I need you.”

“Need you, too.” 

He breaks away to grab a condom, and this is when you realize how intertwined you feel because even this distance is too much to bear. You’re spilling nonsense and breathing harsh and you attribute that to the sole fact that you crave release. It’s aching. Consuming. 

Yoongi’s already naked and prepped by the time he positions himself between your sore legs, and you give in without resistance again when he descends on your lips. 

When you whisper his name, he kisses it away, and you briefly wonder why his hands shake running up your sides. 

Finally, finally, finally, he gives exactly what you want, the initial connection stretching you sore because it’s been way too long. And you feel emotional when you don’t even doubt it’s been too long for him, too. 

Because his eyes speak volumes. 

They hold onto your every move, watch your every reaction, hesitate when you blow out air accommodating his size. 

But you lock yours with him when you relax, weakly grasping his jewelry before sliding fingers up his shoulders. When you nod, he pushes in further, both of you sighing in tandem. 

And as soon as you whisper you’re ready, all niceties fly out the window. 

You’re thrusted up his bed with a determined stroke before he sets a pace, and your head kicks back as soon as a hand captures your neck. 

“Look at me,” he commands, and he gives you a light pat on the cheek before squeezing your jaw. “Open up.”

When you do, spit flings from his mouth into yours, and you already sprint to the edge feeling the weight of your heels and the strength of his body. “Fuck!”

You get pat again—rougher this time—before Yoongi goes to choke you a second time. “What do you say?”

“Me?” you pant, tearing the first thought from your throat when he grits it again. “Thank—” 

Fuck, his dick is hitting every spot you need it to. It takes you a second to repeat your garbled guess in full, knowing it’s something you would’ve said anyway. “Thank you.”

“Now swallow.” 

As soon as he shoves inside, your obedience is your undoing. The skies open to welcome you as your body locks, thighs squeezing his taut sides as he moans through your release. Waves tug you unbelievably far, and you almost lose yourself in the swell before you crash onto shore again.

“Such a whore for me,” Yoongi praises, kicking you back to the very first night and making you melt. When you peel eyelids open, you notice his smile matches yours, and the shared, cherished memory smoothens your gravelly laugh.

“Love when you do that,” you admit, shaking your head at your own strange preferences. “Don’t know why.” 

“Me neither.” He spears you again with a cheeky lip bite. “But it’s so fucking hot.” 

Your grin can’t be contained, and this is where you wanna be. Right here. Nowhere else in the fucking universe. 

“I’m ready,” you pant, and he gives you a brief look of affection—which you shatter with force. “Fuck the shit out of me.” 

Yoongi twitches madly inside your core as he expels a pained, breathy laugh. “Goddamn, this isn’t good for me.” 

“What?” 

“Nothing.” He doesn’t waste a second gathering your calves while you ponder what he says. “Hold these pretty legs up for me. There you go.”

When you find the easiest way to do so, you marvel at how shaky and slippery your thighs are, wondering if the rest of you is faring any better. 

It’s not. 

But you can’t dwell on that now because Yoongi is holding on like he’ll lose you, resuming a delicious pace and smacking your hips into his with the most indecent sounds. 

Your whines soon join in, and his hums of satisfaction fuel your ever going flame. Heaven and earth could move and you would remain here, suspended in time as he fills you perfectly with every fast stroke. 

“Feel so good—”

When he leaves your cunt, you mewl before he grunts, “Fucking—Get up.” 

What is he— 

You’re hoisted upward so quickly that you see starlight, not even registering the clanks and shifts of items before he’s spinning to pin you down on a solid surface. Your heels find purchase on the floor but your knees prove unbelievably weak.

What’s—

Oh fuck, are you on his desk?

Your hands retreat until they find an edge to grab, and you moan outright when you feel his fingers slide up your cunt, shoving your thong farther over one side of your ass. 

“Yoongi—”

You feel full in an instant, jaw going slack as he shoves you backwards on his cock, praises washing down your back as he pushes down any arches you instinctively make. 

“Uh uh. Stay like that.” 

“I wanna—” Your words are cut off with a whine as you feel a sting on your ass. “Fuck!”

“There you go.” 

The rock of the desk is so strong that every bang against the wall booms loud, equipment sliding back and forth and making you briefly worry if anything will fall.

But this is the most turned on you’ve ever, ever felt, and you have no fucking clue why.

You wonder if he feels the same right before his dark laugh consumes you.

“Goddamn.” 

Your hands are grabbed before he shoves you forward, letting more of your body lie on the surface so that he can pin sweaty arms at your back. 

Oh, fuck!

Your moans glide across wood as he doesn’t let up, and you don’t even want to know how much drool will exist on his desk when you’re done. Maybe you’ll never be done. Maybe he really will keep you here forever, and you’ll soak his whole—

“Come here.” 

He gathers your wrists in one large palm before reaching to grip your chest, hauling you up and securing you against his body by the throat. 

And you think your soul just left your earthly vessel. 

Pressing you further into him, he grits in your ear, 

“Never fucking kicking you out.” His tight stroke launches you across space. “Don’t even think about saying that again.” 

When did you— You said— Why don’t you remember—

You go limp when he shoves into you again, but your heels wobble and you focus damn hard on staying upright. 

But Yoongi doesn’t give a shit. “You hear me?” When you let out a breathy confirmation, he still isn’t satisfied. A hand pats your cheek before he asks again, “Say it louder.” 

“Yes!”

“Good.”

He drops all talk, pistoning in from behind while you take it and take it and love it. Mercifully, he lets your sore arms go to pin you down again, gritted words and curses dancing with your high-pitched sighs. 

Fuck, his strokes are so deep that you see into the next universe, and you don’t think your mouth has been shut ever since you made contact with his desk. 

Maybe he was more frustrated than you were. He’s using you as stress relief like you intended, and his roughness is a fantastic surprise. 

It’s just what you need. Which kicks you into a whole other level of want and the beast inside you transforms yet again. 

When Yoongi yanks himself out, you’re quick to spin and shove him backward. As he flops onto the bed, he laughs like sin incarnate when you pounce, his hot hands grabbing at your hips and encouraging your behavior in the nastiest way.

“Let’s go then, pretty bitch.”

“You already fucking know.”

“Show me what I’ve been missing.”

“Don’t fall in love.” 

When you sink onto him, Yoongi’s already groaning. But when you start to swivel at a pace that will render you sore, he begins to lose it. 

“Fuck.”

His head kicks back, eyes shut and brows pinched to hell. After holding your waist, he has to slap his sheets to squeeze even tighter, chest marred with red under pretty silver. 

You make sure every rotation is full, slowly rocking with each circle you make and gritting teeth at how fucking big he is.

Soon, his hisses devolve into groans, and he snaps his head back up to slap your breasts—one after the other before gripping your hips so hard you welcome the pain. 

“Fuck, I missed this pussy,” he confesses with husk, and you whine in response as you lower yourself to kiss him deep. 

“It missed you, too.”

Coming back up, you dig one of your hands in his mattress while bracing on him with the other, and you close your eyes in bliss as you arch your tits toward his hungry lips. 

Just like you want, he chuckles in satisfaction as he suckles, lolling his tongue all around before giving your nipple  a hard suck. His noises remind you of lollipops, and you briefly think of a few fun things you could do with those for next time.

But a hand juts up to seize the back of your neck, forcing you to arch in place as he starts thrusting hard. 

“Yoongi!”

“Uh huh.”  

Before you can talk again, his other hand joins in to choke you just enough, and you find yourself teetering on a precipice. Holy fuck, holy fuck, you’re close again.

“You gonna come?”

A frantic nod.

“Then come.” 

As soon as you hear the words, you do exactly that, windpipe released just as you pulse around him incredibly hard. The waves prove tsunamis, and you dangle from their crests before plummeting and tumbling below. Your moan extends as he thrusts erratically through your quivers, encouraging you and digging rough fingers into your hips. 

“Again.” 

Somehow, that’s enough to make your body obey, and you cry out as you flutter around his trembling cock, hearing him talk you through it but not quite understanding what he’s saying. 

Maybe you also choose not to listen because of what you think you hear, and you don’t want to be haunted if you realize later on what you thought you heard wasn’t true. 

The world rotates up as Yoongi sits up, and you sling arms around him as he leans back on his hands. Your breath hitches at the new angle he’s filling you at, and your eyes swirl when he coolly, confidently commands, 

“Again.” 

You can’t you can’t you can’t but you can. Holy fuck apparently you can, and this time, it consumes you so hard your eyes roll back enough to see the past. Past you, insecure and meek and scared to say what they want. 

Oh, if they could witness you now. 

You shudder impossibly hard around him, coated with his deep chuckles and dashing, ego-ridden grin. It’s all you see before you slump against his chest, heartbeat pounding against yours when you can’t feel any bone in your body.

One breath.

Two breaths.

Two hearts.

One night is enough.

“So fucking perfect.”

“For you,” you wisp out, lost in galaxies. “Only you.” 

He can only kiss the side of your head in response, gently lowering you both onto spent cotton and helping you straighten out your muscle-locked legs. When he asks if you’re okay, you can only nod, and he plants another kiss on your temple before sliding off his protection. 

Both of you take time to calm down, breaths heavy from what felt like a marathon. But a much better marathon than the one you’ve had to endure over the last three months. 

When you lie against his chest, you silently thank him for giving you tonight. It’s the riskiest thing you’ve ever done with him, but you won’t worry about it. Not right now. Not when you feel more at home here than your own house. 

Your brother is right. Something is definitely missing over there. 

It’s when your pants have relaxed into soft breaths that you nudge your head against Yoongi’s chest, eyes shut in peace as he lazily draws circles on your back. 

And the first words he says in minutes inject sparkles into your eyes,

“I need to re-up this damn cat’s food.” 

Oh, shit!

Your outright squeal is surely coming out too loud but you don’t care. Don’t care don’t care don’t care not when Yoongi just gave away so many different things. 

This man leaned right into the whole thing.

“I knew it!” You proclaim in triumph, smacking his thigh while hearing a very elongated ‘shut up’ at your side. “Tried to hide it from me all these months? Somebody’s getting soft.”

“First off.”

“Uh huh.”

God. If only you both could go on one of those late night shopping trips he talked about before. Maybe you could’ve gotten plenty of things. Like some little cat toys, or extra storage cabinets for your clothes. 

Yeah. Stuff like that. 

“I’m her favorite.” 

Your scoff is immediate as you hoist yourself up, leaning on your hand and regretting the burn in your arm. “Only because you gatekeeped her.”

A soft disagreement precedes a more prominent, “Won’t even matter.”

Yoongi looks so at peace when you stare, and your voice calms to match as it floats down, “You took care of her.”

When he only smiles, you decide that this is how you want him to be all the time. Content and outright glowing, fireflies dancing in his eyes. 

Does he feel at home, too? 

“She was gonna be your surprise,” he finally murmurs. “For getting the gig.”

Heart and tear ducts full, you lower yourself to tenderly press lips to his. And, since it seems to work for you, his forehead is what you decide to kiss next. 

Then you pull away.

Wondering why he’s not smiling anymore. 

“Come here.”

You blink, lying back down to snuggle against his side. When his arm wraps around your shoulder, it's only then that you’re aware you still have shoes on. A clean person, you hope Yoongi doesn’t mind them touching his sheets. 

But maybe it’s a tad too late for that concern. 

“How are you gonna get home?”

Oh, right. You use his chest to scratch an itch in your nose before responding, “I’ll call a ride in the morning. He’ll be out cold until noon at the earliest.” 

“K.” 

“Did I keep you from anything?”

A puff flies out his nostrils. “Kinda late for that, huh.” 

“True,” you sigh, berating yourself for thinking a lot of things too late. “Sorry.”  

“But no, we were finishing up when I called.” 

“Okay… Did I scare you?” You lift your eyes then, because you need to know for sure. 

When he levels a look, you curse at his quiet confirmation. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” 

“S’ok.” 

“I just… It hurt tonight.” Emotion washes over your face before you bury it. “Really hurt.” 

After a light squeeze, Yoongi gently rolls you over, resting his head exactly where your hand clutches your chest. When you move your fingers, he kisses that same spot, and your heart stops. “How about now.” 

Feeling the deepest pain you’ve ever felt in your life, you cradle his head with a whisper, 

“Maybe try that one more time.”

And he does, not looking at your tears as he sits up to peer down the bed. 

When he scoots down to the edge, your breath catches as he holds a heel in sure hands, his back beautiful even with the scars. While he works through leather straps, he starts to speak, 

“I always do, babe.” 

Blinking, you ask what he means as he slips your shoe off with ease.

“Miss you.”

As he tenderly holds the other, you gulp in oxygen to quell the sear around your eyes. “I just… Wasn’t sure,” you admit, voice wavering. 

His hair falls forward when he sighs, and his palms feel way too relaxing to just be taking your heels off. Even now, it feels like he’s revering you. And you truly don’t know how you deserve any of this. 

“That’s my fault.” 

Throat small, you’re swift to reassure him. “No, no. I need to just suck it up. I’m sorry.” 

After freeing your other foot, he rubs it without prompt, and you don’t know how to deal with someone giving you this level of care. 

“Just a little bit longer, doll,” he says, and you admire his profile when he turns. “I’m sorry.” 

“You gave me tonight.” 

When he swallows, you reassure him with all the support you can give, 

“A little longer is nothing.” 

A moment passes by before he finally moves, and you catch a hint of a smile right before he faces his disheveled to hell desk again. 

Deciding that conversation has concluded, you crack the atmosphere with a joke, “You liked whatever happened over there, huh.”

Immediately, Yoongi’s shoulders bob with a laugh before he admits, “Fucking you on my desk? I’ve wanted to do that for months.” 

“Really?”

“Yeah.” He leans forward. “There’s a lot of shit I’ve wanted us to do for months.” 

Us.

Thoroughly giddy and full of life again, you egg him on. “Oh? Like what?”

Finally, he looks over his shoulder with a grin, and you scoff in frustration at his answer,

“What’s the fun in telling you?”

“Ass!”

While you’re getting ready to shower, he leans against the doorframe of his bathroom.

“We have a game next week.” 

As you fetch a towel from his cabinet, you clarify, “The championship, right?”

“Mmhmm.” 

“I’ll be there,” you confirm, walking away to slip the thick cloth over its rack. “I can’t believe it’s still going.” 

“Same. But there’ve been a lot of delays, remember?”

“Oh, yeah.” Your hand feels out the water, satisfied with its temperature. “I meant your win streak but whatever.” 

And you squeal when he rushes forward, shutting the glass with a wobbly thud before he can get to you. When you stick out a childish tongue, you laugh under the spray, curve slowly, curiously, softly fading when he simply keeps staring.

What’s he doing?

You don’t move as he slowly slides the entrance open again, and you don’t dare breathe as he leans inside to kiss your wet lips.

When you tenderly take one of his wrists and pull, he obliges without hesitation, and you take another shower with the man that sets fireworks off in your soul. 

An hour later, filled with food and laughter—and slight disappointment when you couldn’t find your surprise near his door—you occupy his bed with full bellies and fresh minds. 

As he lies on your chest, you think this is better, because it gives you time to think about things. And tell him about others. 

You finally tell him what all happened with Jungkook, to which he listens without a single word. When you can’t seem to shut up about your job, he doesn’t stop you, and you adore the way he cuddles you under faint moonlight cutting through his window. 

“Oh, wait,” you stop, feeling like you’ve talked his head off by now. “What did you call about?”

“Huh? Tonight?” 

“Yeah.” 

“We finally have a confirmed date. For that album,” Yoongi rumbles against the shirt he let you borrow. “I was gonna invite you to the release party.”

Whoa, what the fuck? “Me?”

He chuckles soft, and you wonder if he can guess how shocked you look. “Yes, you. All of y’all.” 

At least it’s everyone. But at the same time, you still hesitate. “That won’t be weird?” 

“Nah. You can bring anyone you want, so. I was assuming you’d bring your friends.” 

“Ah, I see.”

You didn’t mean to sound disappointed. You truly aren’t. But Yoongi pushes up to comfort you anyway, planting kisses along your skin, your neck, and finally your lips. 

“It won’t be the only one,” he promises. “We got time.”

“Duh,” you giggle. “And I’ll be at all of them. Whether you like it or not.” 

Yoongi regards you before laying his weight back on your chest. And you find it strange how familiar his body already feels. How you’re already attuned to every way his legs fit against your own, or how you would know it’s him solely based on how his chest molds with yours. 

You start mindlessly caressing his hair, fingers weaving through a dark sea of strands before smoothing over its surface. 

And you start to hum.

It’s not really any song, just notes you start stringing together at random. You build up before you dip back down, staying in a comfortable middle range and dancing between similar tones. 

You stop from time to time, trying to figure out what would sound best next and changing up the cadence. Always coming back to a central theme because it’s what you deem best.

And you’re so comfortable that you completely forgot he’s lying right under your chin.

“Shit, was I too loud?”

He just shakes his head, arm pressing a bit more into your side. 

“Not at all.” 

So you keep going, humming more familiar tunes and phrases, softly giggling when Yoongi huffs at the way you drum on his head. 

And that’s how the night goes on, with you at peace and him in your embrace.

Never noticing how the shirt you're wearing collects rain.

When dawn breaks, you part with one final, heavenly kiss. 

Yoongi watches until you get in the ride he politely called for you, and you spend the whole drive with eyes filled with light. 

You can do this. Just a little longer, he said.

For him, you can do anything. 

But when you get home, your brother occupies the foyer as soon as you open the front door.

And you feel the world shatter and crash at your feet.

“I think,” he states, “There’s something you wanna tell me.”  

—

—

—

tbc. :) 

—

a ha ha... what do we think/like! | wanna support with a 🍊?

A/N: i’m so swirly-eyed that i don’t even know what to say here other than i’m sorry for throwing that ending at y’all! busted pt. 2 is gonna be its own huge part at this point so i had no choice but to end it here (originally it was gonna end before they went back to yoongi’s but i love y’all too much dlkfjdsklf)  A/N 2: gonna say this again: enormous thank you to everyone supporting this whole journey, whether that’s liking/commenting/reblogging/messaging, recommending this series to people, telling me how it makes you feel or what it means to you, or even wanting a physical copy of the series like😭 that’s surreal to me and makes me wanna keep working harder.  A/N 3: as far as feedback, i would absolutely love any type y’all wanna give. this chapter took all of my brainpower and the next one is gonna take just as much haahahahdksfks so any encouragement would be wonderful!  ++ feedback box: ⇥ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated! ⇥ for the ones that are too shy to reblog with a review, comment on this, or send a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think! ⇥ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. it’s literally just a comment dropbox :D feedback can be as short/sweet or as long as you’d like! ⇥ here! ++ more links: ⇥ three tangerines masterlist ⇥ masterlist 

[study-diaries]

Math Tips

(Pictures are not mine)

Well, let me tell you, we all have this love-hate relationship with this subject, right? The worst part is that when you don't know what the heck is going on, so, as a girl who studied maths (2 Volumes/textbooks) on her own during the year she was homeschooled, here are some tips and tricks that I did to get an A+ in my math finals!

Get your syllabus together

In the beginning I had no damn idea what was going on and it was just confusing. I had to do the first thing I did was taken my index/table of contents and mark the chapters which i knew very well and the ones I had no clue about. And then i arranged them with the marking scheme, like which one carries the most marks etc etc and study accordingly.

Complete lessons/chapters that you already know

When you finish off the things you already know then that's gonna give you the confidence you need even if you know only 1-2 chapters, learn it throughout and make sure that you'll get the answer no matter how twisted the sum is. If you're doubtful about the whole textbook like any normal person.... Start with the easy ones. (I know there are literally really no "easy" chapters, spare me)

Harder chapters need hard work

Most chapters like Trigonometry proofs, Geometry proofs, Algebra, Graphs, Mensuration and Calculus etc need more than minimum effort but here's a trick, what is the common thing in this? Yes, they're all formulae and theorem based which goes to my next point. These chapters are completely based on how much you've understood your basics.

Formulae and theorem cheatsheets

Make a list of all formulae and the theorem used in the book, write them chapter wise and no printouts or digital notes. Take a paper and write it down, no excuses. It helps you while you're practicing, revising and in the last minute review, it helped me damn much. Remember, maths is a sport. The basic formulae must come to you like reflexes.

YouTube is your best friend.

For every single chapter, go and watch the basics and how a sum is done step by step. A recommendation for this is Organic Chemistry Tutor who literally is one of the reasons i passed. He has videos from basic geometry, trigonometry, statistics to calculus. Search for your own YouTubers and be clear with concepts.

Math is fully memorization

Memorize formulae and theorems with the back of your hand, you should be able to recall them within seconds. Be thorough.

Memorize basic math values (if calculator isn't allowed)

Do this if you have a majority of chapters like Statistics, Mensuration, Profit/loss calculation etc, where large numbers are concerned. Memorize the first 10 square, cube, decimal and multiplication values. It may be dry but there are literally songs available for these things, I'm serious, i learnt the first 10 cube roots by listening to Senorita xD Search for rhymes and they'll definitely be many!!

Work it out!!!!!!

Can't stress this enough, atleast 30-40 mins is the minimum for maths. I'm serious, work out each sum, don't ever think it's a waste, you'll see the results. Practice makes perfect. Work out every single sum, from examples to exercise ones cause let's be honest, our examiners love to take problems from every nook and cranny of the book.

Whiteboard method

So, I made this up and it actually works, if you have a whiteboard or anything else, once you completed a chapter, take a random page and whatever sums you have on those two pages, you need to complete within a given time limit. It helps you to identify your weak points and where the hell you're losing both time and effort and not to mention that it gives you confidence boost up.

Hope this helps :))

[eggsandramem]

thinking about the notes i currently have for nameless (siffrins nickname in the 1k loops au that ive kinda stuck onto him in a rp server)

i dont??? know if ive even shared them here??? erm

YAP SESSION TIME‼️ (below the cut)

[CW FOR MENTIONS OF IMPLIED SH, AND SUI]

[additionally, spoiler warning for pretty much the entire game :0c(?)]

yay! yay! yay!

`TIMELINE`

꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦

`. • Timeless days of Lost Reflections • .`

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

[ The AU itself takes place during the canon events of ISAT, but with the sort of effect of Siffrin losing more and more of his memories as he passes through loop after loop, forgetting more and more with each loop.

Its mentioned, and even *shown* ingame that Siffrin forgets entire loops, and the game will sometimes hop from, lets say for example; 320 to 326 [as i have personally seen happen to myself multiple times as i went through my own save file consisting of exactly 1000 loops (why i did this? i saw the post Adrienne(isertdisc5) made, with a video showing a false cutscene when you reach 1k loops, with loop responding with "Stardust. What the fuck". I thought it was silly) and thought it would be a fun bit to pull off), but happening more and more with each loop. The more loops that go by, the more his memory starts to decline; forgetting where traps, keys, items are... but as the loops happen more and more consistently, he starts to lose more *important* memories, those being that of what he did with his family before the loops, small little things that have made important memories with them, and even over time, he's grown to forgetting his family members as a whole. Forgetting all of this is bad enough, but there's a point where he forgets himself; the things he likes, the things he's supposed to do, the hobbies and food he likes and dislikes...

Loop is still apart of all of this, except they've kept every memory in this journey so far. originally, they thought it was rather funny at first, due to being "happy they weren't the only idiot who got themself trapped in time". Overtime, however, Loop just grows... exhausted. it was funny at first, but with Siffrins memory and motivation rapidly decreasing, they're just stuck with the memories that the universe has had them keep, rather than forget, and they start to think, even more so, the fact of what the point of their original wish was, if it was to turn out this way? It hits them hard, to say the least, having them think of if this happened to them in their own universe as well, what it would be like...

Siffrins forgotten loop multiple times as well, surprisingly. Loop would call to check in on Siffrin during loops, only for him to be startled, asking where the voice came from, who it was... They forget their physical appearance often as well, whenever this happens, they just look.... confused, seeing Loop under the favor tree when he goes to visit

Siffrin is..... extremely tired, fatigued, overall *exhausted* from all of these loops, and often stays within the meadow in Dormont. ]

[ This AU actually takes place in act 5, and sort of reverses itself as it goes on. Safe to say, Odile wasn't able to stop Siffrin from looping back during the fight, and it started all over again, from going in the house on his own multiple times, back to going with his party after not noticing many changes due to the Bigfrin fight not happening a second time, Siffrin being able to defeat the King on his own, only to end up with the same thing from the Head Housemaiden over, and over, and over again. Just. Like. Usual. After not being able to find any changes with going on his own, he starts going with his party again. Being with his party in the house again, he starts to try new things, only to forget things he's done beforehand, and repeating them when he forgets, but thinks of it again.

This continues to happen, until Siffrin sort of... grows tired, and his sense of time in the House, as well as his memory fail him. He starts to just remain in the meadow, laying in the field with the birds often coming to sit with him ]

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

`NOTES`

꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦

`✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦`

☆*:・ﾟ - Siffrin keeps number of how many loops he's gone through by using a small paper card to cut a tally into his skin. This being said, he has 1000 tallies total spread out along both of his arms. For some reason, his body has sort of just. goes on autopilot, and Siffrin usually doesn't even notice that it happened, especially later in the loops since he doesn't know where they keep coming from (despite being the one causing them). Why these remain is strange, especially since he loops to before it happens, but... weird thing in the universe, i guess

*: ･ﾟ ’★ - As a continuation to the tally mark scars; Overtime, the amount of deaths from certain things start to leave a mark on Siffrin, literally. Scars start to remain the more he dies to them, only healing them to be non-lethal, and just as scars in general. This includes; a scar on his head in reference to slipping on a banana and hitting a rock, a large slash-like scar going from the top to bottom of his torso (front AND back), partially frozen 'markings' from his hands and up his arms from frozen tear deaths, other random scars from fighting sadnesses here and there, and a scar on his neck from.... you know. `(visuals for scars can be found HERE. heavy cw for the sh-like tally marks!!!)`

☆*:・ﾟ - Similarly to the scarring, Siffrins hair length doesn't stay the same the more loops he goes through. Over time, his hair has grown to be able to reach where his tailbone is, and is still growing with each loop. Said hair is very messy; matted, unbrushed... He's thankful that he has the ability to shower and clean his clothing in dormont when he has the chance, atleast. You don't want to be walking around with overly greasy hair, and gross/smelly clothing, after all. Siffrins cloaks have also started to look more and more worn out along with his hair, and permanently has some missing fabric here and there, as well as parts he's had to sew back together.

*: ･ﾟ ’★ - `[cw sui ment.]`Siffrins dagger starts to have blood stained, or dried on the blade further in the loops, the more he ||uses it on himself.|| The more its used, the more present it is on the blade.

☆*:・ﾟ - One of the memories that can be equipped, is the "Memory of Memories". in the game, its description is [You can remember this, at least.], so i think that it would be interesting if it acts as a permanent Memory now that it's been made aware of. That being said, Siffrin can read the language of his home country, and even over time speak it, the more he needs to use it in the house. Below is the proper description for the Memory;

---- • Memory of Ḿ̶̨e̵͛ͅm̶͘̕o̶̥͠ŕ̷͂i̴̔̉è̴s?

[ you cannot forget this even if you tried ]

( allows the user to understand and use the north islands language) ----

*: ･ﾟ ’★ - On the topic of Memories; Siffrin forgets the "Memory of Emptiness" as soon as he stops going through the house on his own, and goes back to loops including his family. The only Memories he keeps are "Memory of Ḿ̶̨e̵͛ͅm̶͘̕o̶̥͠ŕ̷͂i̴̔̉è̴s?", and "Memory of Spiraling" after this. "Memory of Spiraling" is the other Memory that Siffrin keeps after the previously mentioned one. Instead of not having a Memory for remembering the script dialogue in the actual game, 1k loops Siffrin is *forgetful as hell*, so having a memory they cant forget helps with it. The memory is as follows;

---- • Memory of Spiraling (Passive Memory)

[ Turning back the clock- watch it spiraling, spiraling ]

( allows the user to ALWAYS remember their lines in the script. cannot be unequipped ) ----

☆*:・ﾟ - Siffrin experiences Craft Sickness due to very obvious reasons during all of his loops. Siffrins been brought down to his entire body being weakened, collapsing when he deals with it for too long with no breaks. However, Siffrin has grown to push through them with sheer stubbornness, before it gets too bad and it happens again. This happens over and over again, a loop within a loop in a way, if you think about it.

*: ･ﾟ ’★ - Siffrin avoided Loop for a good amount of loops after he looped back from the Bigfrin fight due to their previous convo, but went back after a while

☆*:・ﾟ - Siffrin, over time, has found himself collapsing from exhaustion within the house when with his party, and it causes him to loop due to the stress of something new happening. Additionally, a very common death Siffrin experiences is when he's exhausted himself to point of dying in his sleep when his party offers it

*: ･ﾟ ’★ - Siffrin, the more loops he goes through and the more he forgets about his Family Members and their Names, the less he can even hear their names, and his own. Names he previously knows of sound fuzzy and static-y within their hearing distance!

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

MORE TO COME! BUT YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY!

[storiesforallfandoms]

an out there request ~ matthew lillard & skeet ulrich

word count: 4740

request?: yes!

“hi hi hiiiiii, i wanted to start this off with saying am in love with you. like your writing? perfection. the fact you do this for all of us? so gorgeous. this one is weird? kinda, maybe. skeet ulrich x matthew lillard x reader, current time. you go to that convention where you talk and meet them, and you got the thing where you can go back and get a picture with them. you ask them (as respectfully as possible lol) if the pose you guys can do is eiffel tower (your head in one of their crotches and your ass in the others crotch). they’re like shocked and stuff (idk why but i see the reader pulling out their id and being like trust me, i’m of age). banter and them agreeing to it, then when you leave you notice something in your pocket, like a note or something saying one of their room number and smut ensues. thank you”

description: after she makes a lucrative pose suggestion for a picture, she doesn’t expect for that pose to become a reality

pairing: matthew lillard x female!reader x skeet ulrich

warnings: rpf, swearing, smut (threesome, fingering, oral f & m receiving, praise, p in v (protected), multiple orgasms)

masterlist (one, two, three)

I grinded my teeth as the person ahead of me went in for their photo ops. I should’ve been excited. I was meeting two of my heroes. I had spent so much money on the passes, on the hotel and travel. I had waited ages for this day. I should’ve been beyond excited for this moment.

Except I had to ruin it with a stupid bet with my friends that would decide what pose I did for the picture.

A bet which I then lost.

I looked over to where they were waiting for me. They were snickering to themselves. I wanted to glare at them, but my nerves and mortification were the only emotions I could muster.

“Next.”

They waved at me, still giggling to themselves, as I walked in.

My other emotions were immediately replaced with shock when I saw Skeet and Matthew. It was almost like I was only just realizing they were real people. They were laughing when I walked in, and it really did sound like the most beautiful sound. When they saw me, they smiled and I could’ve melted into a puddle right there.

“Hey!” Matthew said first, opening his arms to hug me. I happily walked into his welcoming embrace and immediately thought, He’s just as good of a hugger as the videos make him seem.

Skeet greeted me with a hug as well. I hoped they couldn’t feel how much I was shaking, but I realized they had probably seen that multiple times already.

“Nice to meet you,” Matthew said after I pulled away from Skeet’s hug.

“I feel like I’m dreaming,” I admitted. “You guys have probably been hearing that all day.”

“Doesn’t make it any less meaningful to hear,” Skeet said.

 “Let’s pose, guys, we have a line up,” the photographer said. He sounded bored, like he was tired of having this same scene play out over and over all day.

The mention of the photo made my body tense as I remembered what pose I was meant to do. I felt my mouth dry up as I was meant to explain to my two idols what I wanted to do for our pose. They were probably going to kick me out without taking the photo. I’d probably be banned from all celebrity meet and greets for life (even though that made no sense).

They were both looking at me. I had to swallow my fear quickly and just get through this.

“Okay, so...here’s the thing.” I took a deep breath and said, “Ineedtodotheeiffeltowerpose.”

Both smiles turned to confusion.

Just say it, get it over with.

“I made a stupid bet with my friends, and I lost, so they made the decision on what pose for me to do here.” I had to force the words out, “Eiffel Tower.”

Matthew and Skeet looked at each other. My heart had started to pound so hard that my vision was blurring. I quickly fumbled for my wallet and pulled out my ID. “I’m over 18, I swear. It’s just from a bet. I tried to say no, but my friends wouldn’t let me off the hook. They said they need to see the proof too...”

I trailed off as I realized I was rambling. My face was on fire with embarrassment. I just wanted to disappear, or cease to exist. I’d never forgive my friends for ruining something so important for me. My first time meeting two people who were so important to me, and they were going to think I was a sex pest or something.

“Okay.”

I blinked. “What?”

Skeet shrugged. “A bet is a bet. I’m fine with it. How about you, Matt?”

Matthew nodded. “Let’s do it. It’ll be the most creative pose I think we’ve ever done.”

I couldn’t believe they agreed. I thought it was some kind of joke. It wasn’t until they moved to either side of me, and Skeet asked, “Which of us is where?” that I realized they were seriously doing this; I was seriously doing this.

I turned to face Matthew, with Skeet behind me. Matthew held my arms as I leaned forward, not enough for my head to fully be in his crotch but enough for the sake of the pose. Skeet put his hands on my hips, keeping a respectable distance from me as well.

“Smile,” the camera guy said.

I smiled through the burning feeling of embarrassment in my face. At the same time, I couldn’t lie and say this wasn’t a turn on. I had definitely read Stu and Billy fanfiction that included this pose, so my mind was wandering to dangerous places.

The camera flashed a few times, and then it was over. I pulled away from them very quickly, trying not to be as awkward as I felt. Matthew and Skeet hugged me again, and I thanked them for going on with my crazy request.

My friends were waiting with smirks on their faces as I walked through the exit.

“How’d it go?” one asked. “Did you do it?”

“I did,” I responded, trying to sound more confident than I felt. “I think I have to wait for the physical copies, but I can prove I did it.”

We went to the part of the photo op where the pictures are done off. My friends asked me about the experience and I relayed the entire moment to them. I thought they’d be skeptical of what I was saying, but they hung on every word I said and were just as excited as I had been during the interaction. One of them made a joke that I must’ve made Skeet hard by “shoving my ass in his crotch”, but I told her that was inappropriate and there was no way it had happened.

The photo person called my name and passed me an envelope. I pulled out the print of my photos and my friends flocked to see it. They gasped and giggled as if we were teenagers still. I couldn’t help but blush at the picture, though. I originally thought this was going to ruin my one chance at meeting my idols, but in the end it seemed like it was going to be a funny story. I may actually even frame the photo for the memory.

My friends started walking towards a booth they had wanted to visit. I trailed behind them, putting the photos back into the envelope. That’s when I felt something on the back. When I flipped the picture over, I found a Post-It note. The note read, “If you feel comfortable, meet us in our hotel room tonight”, along with an address.

My face was burning again. There was no way this was real. This could not be the actual address for the actual hotel where actual Matthew Lillard and Skeet Ulrich were staying. There was also no way that actual Matthew Lillard and Skeet Ulrich were suggesting what I think they were suggesting.

I put the picture back in the envelope and pocketed the note as I went to catch up with my friends. I could feel the weight of it in my pocket, but I kept trying to forget about it. It couldn’t be real, and if I went to the hotel I’d probably find some weirdo instead of the two men I’d expect - or hope. It’d be a bad idea to go to that address.

~~~~~~

Well, the address was a hotel at least.

I knew I was crazy for showing up here. Anything could happen to me. Anything bad. I hadn’t told my friends about the note because I knew what their responses would be, so they didn’t know I was here. It was a stupid decision all around, but the curiosity was getting the better of me.

My heart was pounding as I took the elevator up to the floor I was directed to go to. It was making my vision blurry to a point where I almost couldn’t read the numbers on the doors. I was having deja vu to meeting Skeet and Matthew earlier. I lifted my hand to knock and paused only briefly to question whether or not this was a good idea. I knew the answer was no, but there was no going back now.

When the hotel door opened, I almost passed out.

Stood there was none other than Skeet Ulrich.

He was grinning at me in a sexy way. “We were wondering if you were actually going to come.”

“Well, you can’t blame a girl for being cautious.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, I figured. I told Matt the note was a little ominous, but we couldn’t exactly say anything in front of the camera guy. That’s not something we want to get out to the public.”

That just raised more questions, but I didn’t want to take up too much time just talking in the hallway. Skeet stepped aside to let me in. I was very aware of how close he was as I passed him, but I tried not to think too much about it.

I was expected a huge hotel suite since they were two big actors and all, but was pleasantly surprised to see that it was just a two bedroom, one bathroom hotel room with a small balcony. Matthew was laid back on one of the beds, watching TV. He looked up when he heard me walk in and smiled as if he was seeing an old friend. “Hey! You’re finally here!”

The reality of the situation was setting in. I was starting to feel a little lightheaded. They both must’ve noticed, or they knew how overwhelming this was going to be in general, because Skeet took my hand and guided me to the bed Matthew was sat on. Matthew sat up to put a comforting hand between my shoulder blades.

“This is a lot, we know,” he said. “You can ask whatever questions you need to ask.”

“Do I have to sign an NDA?”

I cringed at myself while Matthew and Skeet seemed amused. It definitely was not my biggest question, but it was the first one that slipped out through my filter.

“We didn’t tell either of our agents that we were doing this,” Skeet said. “So no NDAs are drafted. Is that a bad idea? Very much so, yes. But I also know our agents definitely would not want us to be doing this in general, so they’d probably try to talk us out of it instead of writing up any sort of NDA.”

“So...you’ve never done this before?”

“Not with a fan,” Skeet responded. “We have had threesomes before, but usually with girlfriends.”

“One time with a co-star,” Matthew added. “Not as awkward as most people make sleeping with a co-worker seem.”

Part of me wanted to ask which co-star, but that really wasn’t the most important thing right now. The most important question to me was, “Why me?”

The two of them shared a look. I couldn’t read what their expressions were saying, but there was definitely some shared thought process passing between them.

“Like I said, we’ve never done this with a fan before,” Skeet started. “Obviously there’s all sorts of power imbalance issues with that, and we don’t want anyone to think we’re using our star status to have sex. Because we’re not, and we don’t want that.”

“But there was something about you that made us go against that,” Matthew added.

I felt my face heating up again as I asked, “Was it the pose?”

Both men barked a laugh at the same time. I couldn’t help but smile as well. Despite the nervousness I was feeling, they were making me feel somewhat calm as well. Outside of the cameras and the long line of fans and the convention photo op, they felt like real people. Just two guys who were friends, who were asking a girl they just met for a threesome.

Okay, the nerves were back now.

“The pose definitely helped,” Matthew said. “But you are also very attractive, and you were very kind. It was hard not to think about making this proposition after you had left.”

This is a dream. I’m dreaming. I actually fainted before the photo op and now I’m dreaming.

Skeet sat down on the bed next to me. “This is all your choice. Please do not say yes just because we’re famous. If you’re uncomfortable at all, we’ll let you go. Trust us, we get that this is probably a lot to handle. Like I said, we’re not about to use our celebrity status just to get sex if you don’t want it.”

I could tell they were being sincere. I actually did have an out if I wanted one. And that was definitely comforting because I was still feeling very conflicted. None of this felt real, and I was almost inclined to turn it down just due to that fact.

But also, I had been crushing on these two actors since the first time I watched the original Scream. I had read so much fanfiction about their characters, stuff that involved situations like this. I’d been fawning over them for years. How stupid would I be if I let this opportunity pass by, even if I wasn’t able to tell anyone? Hell, I probably wouldn’t tell anyone anyways. This would be my little secret; something just for me.

Finally, I found my voice to tell them, “I want to.”

Skeet and Matthew shared a look. They had similar smirks on their faces, and I couldn’t help but wonder what I had gotten myself into.

“If you want to stop at any point you have to tell us,” Skeet said to me. “Promise us that.”

I nodded, but Skeet shook his head. “No, we have to hear you say it.”

“I-I promise I’ll tell you i-if I want to stop.”

Matthew’s voice was closer to my ear than I anticipated as he said, “Good girl.”

The combination of his words and his hot breath against my skin caused my to clench my thighs together. A whimper slipped from my lips as I felt him start to kiss against my neck. I lulled my head to the side, giving him full access to whatever he wanted, and closed my eyes to let myself get lost in the pleasure.

It didn’t take very long for me to forget the entire situation at hand. A fog of lust had washed over me enough to finally let my nerves subside. So, I wasn’t thinking much about who owned the set of hands that was unbuttoning my jeans, but rather how much I wanted them off and to feel those hands against me.

Someone - I’m assuming Skeet as I could feel Matthew’s hands against my waist - pulled my pants down my legs. Once they were gone, Matthew wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into his lap. I gasped as I felt the already hard bulge in his pants against my back. He continued to kiss over my neck as one of his hands slipped under my shirt, teasing the underside of my bra, while the other made its way between my legs. My head lulled back against Matthew’s shoulder as his fingers lightly skimmed over my already damp panties.

“Already so wet,” he commented. “Just for us?”

“J-Just for you,” I moaned. I’d probably be embarrassed by how needy I was if I wasn’t so turned on.

His fingers traced over the waistband of my panties before he slipped his hand underneath them. He rubbed agonizingly slow circles on my clit while his lips still went to work on my neck. He sucked and nipped at the sensitive skin, undoubtably leaving marks I wouldn’t be able to explain. I arched my back, pushing myself further into him and his fingers further against me.

Matthew chuckled. “I think she’s eager.”

“Should give her what she wants, Matt,” Skeet said. I had almost forgotten he was there.

“Is that what you want, pretty girl?” Matthew asked me. “Do you want my fingers?”

“Yes,” I breathed. “Y-Yes, please.”

“How do I say no when you’re using your manners?”

He started with just one finger, slowly pushing into me. I let out a loud moan, but quickly covered my mouth with my hand as I remembered where we were.

Skeet chuckled this time, before saying, “Be as loud as you want. There’s no one else around us. We’ll give the staff a good tip just in case there’s any noise complaints, though.”

They didn’t really give me much choice on my volume, as Matthew added another finger after stretching me out with the first, and started thrusting them in and out of me at a quick pace. The sinful sounds of squishing mixed with whatever was tumbling out of my mouth filled the room. The heel of Matthew’s hand worked against my clit, edging me closer and closer to the edge.

I opened my eyes just for a moment, and saw that Skeet was now stood in front of us. He was watching Matthew make me come undone, and I noticed he had one hand against his crotch, palming himself through his jeans. I had never thought much about threesomes before, mainly because I hadn’t ever felt confident enough to bring a third person in to the bedroom in any of my relationships. But there was something extremely hot about watching Skeet get turned on by watching Matthew and I. It turned me on more to realize I’d be getting my time with him too.

My first orgasm hit me with little warning. One second I felt it creeping up, and the next the wave of pleasure was crashing down on me. My body trembled as I leaned against Matthew for support. He slowed his fingers, letting me ride through my high. When he slipped them out of me, I whimpered from the loss of contact.

I lazily turned my head to watch Matthew bring his fingers to his lips. He slipped them into his mouth, sucking off my remaining juices.

“She tastes so good, Skeet,” he said. “You should taste her.”

I thought for a second that Skeet was going to put Matthew’s fingers in his mouth, which would’ve been extremely hot. Instead, he got to his knees on the foot of the bed where Matthew and I were sitting. Matthew let me go so that Skeet could pull me to the edge of the bed. He pulled my soaked panties off and discarded them somewhere in the room. I could feel his warm breath against my still sensitive core, sending a shiver through my body. He leaned in and licked a long, slow stripe from my hole to my clit. My body jolted at the contact, still recovering from my first orgasm.

“She does taste good,” Skeet said.

I felt Matthew’s hands on the hem of my shirt. I lifted my arms over my head to let him pull it off me. With little effort, Matthew unclipped my bra as well, and it fell to my lap. I was officially completely bare to the two of them.

Matthew stood from the bed as Skeet started kissing over my thighs. First my inner right thigh, then the left, moving slowly up to my mound, to my stomach. He took his time leaving a trail of kisses up my stomach and to my breasts. He took one of my nipples in his mouth, running his tongue over the sensitive nub, while my other nipple was pinched between his fingers. I was moaning again, my body reacting by somehow becoming even wetter between my thighs. There was still a dull ache from my first orgasm, but it was quickly going away.

I heard the rustling of clothes and opened my eyes to see Matthew undressing himself. He was unbuttoning his shirt and throwing it on the floor, and his hands had just moved to discard his own pants when he caught me looking. A sly smirk crossed his face as he winked at me. At the same time, Skeet nipped at the skin of my breast, making me yelp.

When Matthew was left in nothing but his boxers, he said, “Seems you’re the only one left completely dressed, man.”

Skeet pulled away from me. He took a moment to look over my completely naked form before looking at Matthew. “Sorry, I was enjoying myself too much.”

As Skeet started undressing himself, Matthew extended a hand to me. “Are you able to move? Or should we just take you like that?”

“How do you want me?” I asked. I was surprised with how steady and strong my voice sounded given how the two of them had somehow already managed to ruin me.

“The Eiffel Tower seems fitting.”

I couldn’t help but laugh a little. I took Matthew’s hand and he helped me get up and to my knees. Skeet had stripped down, leaving him completely naked, while Matthew was still in his boxers. “Looks like you’re the last one clothed now, Matt.”

When Matthew took his boxers off, I couldn’t help but stare at him and Skeet for a while. They were definitely both packing, which was a little intimidating. Not like I hadn’t been with well endowed men before, but still.

“Should we take our positions from the photo?” Skeet asked Matthew. “You take the front, I’ll take the back?”

“Sounds good to me.” Matthew, who was already stood near my face, reached down to cup my chin. “Are you okay with that?”

I nodded. I was glad when they didn’t try and make me verbally respond again because I was sure I had officially lost my ability to speak.

Matthew held the base of his dick, pumping it slightly, as he moved closer to me. He waited until I pulled him closer and opened my mouth to take him in, not trying to rush me or shove himself down my throat. He let me take my time, filling my mouth with as much of him as I could. I placed my tongue along the underside of his cock as I slowly slid him into my mouth. He threw his head back and let out a moan. I got as far as I could go without gagging and stayed there just long enough to adjust to having his size in my mouth. One of his hands made its way into my hair, tangling the strands around his fingers, but he didn’t start moving my head. He kept me there, letting me set the pace.

I started bobbing my head up and down, slipping him most the ways out of my mouth before sliding him all the way back in. I did it at a slow, almost teasing pace. Matthew’s hand twitched against my head, like he was restraining himself from making me go at a pace that he actually wanted. I looked up at him through my eyelashes. His head was tilted down to look at me again, but his eyes were closed and his mouth was slightly ajar in pleasure.

Skeet was watching us, fisting his own dick at the sight. I had gotten so caught up in watching Matthew as I pleasured him that I didn’t notice Skeet moving to the bed until it dipped behind me. I gasped as I felt the hot head of his cock dragging through my folds. When it nudged against my entrance, just an inch pushed inside of me, I couldn’t stop myself from moving back against him and taking the rest of him in.

“Eager girl,” he said with a chuckle. “Don’t forget about Matt.”

“I don’t mind watching her be eager for your cock,” Matthew said.

I took Matthew back in my mouth as Skeet slowly started to thrust into me. I tried to keep a steady pace with my head, but I soon found myself more focused on the pleasure from Skeet’s cock dragging against my walls than the pleasure I was supposed to be giving Matthew. I was moaning around him, which in turn was making him moan. He used my hair to guide my mouth up and down his shaft so that I didn’t have to concentrate on doing it myself.

Eventually, Skeet start to thrust a bit more rough into me so that I was moving against Matthew with each thrust. Both men were moaning and grunting in time, the noises sounding like music. My brain had been completely taken over by the lustful fog and I couldn’t think about anything but the feeling of being full with both of their cocks. Matthew’s hand tightened in my hair and I felt his cock twitching in my mouth, signaling that he was getting close.

As if also sensing Matthew’s closeness, or maybe he was also getting close himself, Skeet reached around to find my clit. He started rubbing harsh, quick circles into my sensitive nub. My arms were starting to tremble from the effort of keeping myself up, while the rest of my body was trembling with pleasure. My second orgasm was coming on and I knew it was going to hit just as hard as the first one did. I was about to take Matthew’s cock out of my mouth to tell them both I was going to cum, but Skeet began to thrust rougher into me, sending me over the edge quicker than anticipated. I cried out, mostly muffled by Matthew’s dick. Skeet thrust into me one more time, shoving me forward so that Matthew was down my throat. I felt Skeet pulsing inside of me and he let out a loud groan, meaning he had came as well. Matthew was the last of us, shooting his load down my throat seconds after Skeet had cum inside of me.

Matthew pulled out first and I swallowed him down. I lowered my front half onto the bed, finally allowing my arms some rest. Skeet took a second to ride out his own high before pulling himself out of me and letting me completely collapse on the bed. I lazily turned my head to watch as he pulled something off of his dick, and then realized it had been a condom. I hadn’t even noticed him put one on, or the feeling of a condom while we were fucking, but that made sense for him to protect himself, and me.

Matthew had gone to the hotel bathroom and came back with wash cloths for all three of us. I slowly rolled onto my back and took one from him.

“I should’ve asked before finishing in your mouth,” he said. “Sorry about that.”

I waved away his comment. “Don’t worry. You wouldn’t be the first one to cum down my throat unexpectedly, although this was definitely the better of the other times it’s happened.”

Matthew chuckled. “I can only imagine. I don’t think I want to hear those horror stories.”

“You definitely don’t want to.”

After cleaning myself up, I slowly brought myself to a sitting position. I looked around the room to see if I could find my discarded clothing, but found that all of our stuff had basically been thrown around together.

“You don’t have to get up yet,” Skeet said. “You’re more than welcome to stay for a while.”

“You guys don’t wanna kick me out right away?” I asked.

Skeet shook his head. “This isn’t that kind of situation. You can stay overnight if you want to, and then you can go again in the morning.”

“I kind of want room service,” Matthew said. He had his boxers pulled back on and was looking at the room service menu. “Are you guys hungry? We could order a feast.”

I picked my shirt up off the floor and pulled it on just to have myself clothed. I sat on the bed across from Matthew and took the room service menu to look over. Skeet, also now in his boxers, sat in the bed next to me to look at the menu over my shoulder.

No one would ever believe what happened here, but that was fine by me. I was more than okay with this being my dirty little secret, with the only evidence being the hickies on my neck and the Post-It note that was still tucked away with my picture.

[jiyeonnnn]

ANTITHETICAL, lty, jjh <33

pairing | l. ty & j. jh x m!r

synopsis | you have always loved wearing skirts secretly, but what happens if your antithetical step brothers see you wearing one?

cw | cross dressing, pet names (baby, angel, sweets, slut, etc.,) rough smut, multiple rounds, pseudo incest, degradation, praise, taeyong kisses you a lot, jaehyun is a btch, ass slapping, spit roasting, double penetration, unprotected intercourse, 3.2k words 💀

you have always gotten along with your step brothers ever since they took you in from that orphanage you call hellhole. at first, you thought that they would adopt you so that they could have an assistant or a slave that will do all the things for them seeing how intimidating these two brothers, taeyong and jaehyun, look, but you thought wrong.

six years have passed since they adopted you, you experienced nothing but a good relationship with them. you felt loved and taken care of throughout your whole life— the parental love that you've been longing for, along with the support and love from your dear brothers, there's nothing more you could ever wish for.

jaehyun and taeyong are glad to have you as well. you have been there during their ups and downs— lifting them up from their sorrows and problems with a lovely personality, not to mention your amazing cooking skills that leave them nothing but amazed by the way you cook your food. they feel so lucky… feel so lucky to the point that they feel more than what a good big brother must feel towards his step sibling.

it was a fairly normal night inside the household; jaehyun and taeyong playing video games on the sofa while your parents are preparing themselves for a week-long vacation abroad for christmas, while you, on the other hand, are trying some things that your best friend, ningning, have sent you— skirts and lingeries. as crazy as it seems, you have found yourself fond of this kind of stuff, probably because of your group of friends as well, but that's for another story— and you don't want anyone else in your family to know about this.

"oh wow— this looks so good on me~" you mumbled as you complimented yourself, and you're not wrong, the mini skirt looks very good on you. you twirled around the mirror, giggling happily as you have found something again to put in your collection of skirts. however, due to your busyness, you didn't notice the sets of eyes fixated on your body as you twirled and turned around in that skirt— it is only that you noticed your step brothers inside your room the moment you heard your door get closed and the click of your lock.

"my, my, my, dongsaeng~ i didn't know you're interested in this kind of stuff~" jaehyun approached you with a wild smirk on his face. you don't know whether you should feel scared or aroused by his actions and expressions that you absentmindedly stepped back nonstop until you're cornered against the wall.

"aish, jaehyun-ah~ don't scare our cute brother like that~ look at him enjoying himself with that beautiful skirt of his~ isn't he pretty?" taeyong intervened as he gently took your hand and pulled you close to him. he kissed your forehead which made you feel all flustered, and it didn't help that jaehyun went behind you and started kissing your nape.

"you're right, taeyong-ah~ our step brother looks so pretty with his skirt~ i wonder, what can we do with him now that mom and dad's finally away?" jaehyun spoke with a deep voice that sent shivers down your spine. the man behind you then gropes your ass, causing you to whimper softly against taeyong's neck.

"so cute and vulnerable~ we'll have some fun playing with him, jaehyun-ah~" you could feel the tension building up inside your room as taeyong carried you by your legs. he sat down on the edge of your bed before straddling you on his lap, jaehyun following after. you looked deeply into taeyong's eyes lovingly— god how beautiful those orbs are— as you felt your lips connect with his.

the feeling was sensational— all the butterflies inside your stomach started to go wild the moment your eldest step brother started kissing you. the kiss was soft and vanilla, you could feel taeyong's gentleness with the way his lips and tongue danced with your mouth, and it made you moan softly.

you pulled away for a moment to take a breather— "h-hyung— this is wrong—" you tried to protest only for you to be cut off by jaehyun, who is already topless. "it shouldn't feel that good then, little boy~" jaehyun stated before taking you away from taeyong's lap.

jaehyun then laid you down on the bed and pinned your wrists down before kissing you. unlike taeyong, jaehyun's kiss was wild and reckless. his dominance is all over you as he didn't even let you adjust to his tongue exploring your mouth. jaehyun was aggressive— the way his lips dance with yours is something impeccable that it left you breathless in a matter of seconds.

you felt so helpless, yet so good under him— it really is a dream come true— it is also one of your secrets that you have a crush on both of them, but you were too afraid to confess, and now that they're holding you like this, there's no way that you'll let this slide.

jaehyun pulled away before taking your oversized t-shirt off. taeyong, on the other hand, stripped his shirt off as he sat down next to your laying body. "do we have your consent, baby boy?" taeyong asked softly.

"y-yes, hyungs~ y-you have my consent~" you answered which made the smirk on their faces grow wider. like a doll, jaehyun once again took you off from that position and sat you up. both of them adjusted themselves as they took their sweatpants and underwear off, and god were they big.

taeyong chuckled at your flushed reaction, "like what you see, pretty boy?" he teased while tapping his cock on his palm.

"is that still being asked? he likes it for sure~ right, little slut?" you were taken aback by the derogatory remark of jaehyun, but you were still turned on nonetheless, resulting in you nodding eagerly.

both of them chuckled at your adorable response before putting you on all fours. "just tell us your colors, all right, baby? we'll make things fit for you~" taeyong reassured you before going in front of you. jaehyun, meanwhile, went behind you where he started using his fingers to prepare you.

jaehyun's immediate actions caused you to release uncontrollable moans as you felt your prostate being hit repeatedly. seeing your reactions, taeyong, who is in front of you, pulled you closer in for a kiss to ease your discomfort, which he was successful in doing.

as your tongue twirls around taeyong's, jaehyun has already added a third finger inside you, making you whimper again and again inside the kiss. you departed your lips from taeyong's the moment you felt jaehyun take his fingers out of you.

"that should be enough for a slutty whore like you~" you heard him say. if anything, you expect yourself to feel a little degraded by the way jaehyun calls you by those names but you're feeling quite the opposite of what you had expected: arousal.

"you ready, baby boy~?" taeyong asked as he cupped your face. you responded with a small nod which made him smile a bit.

you looked deeply into taeyong's eyes, who was fisting his dick in front of you, stroking your hair as you gasp from the slow and painful intrusion of jaehyun's cock inside your hole.

"deep breaths, baby, ok? you're taking your jaehyun-hyung so good~" taeyong cooed as he caressed your face in hopes of helping you adjust to jaehyun's length, but to your misfortune, man behind you didn't give you enough time to adjust as spanked your ass while thrusting his whole length all at once, making you elicit a very loud moan.

"aren't you going to suck that cock in front of you, useless bitch?" jaehyun asked, pointing out taeyong's leaking cock on your face as he slapped your ass again. you could only whimper at this point, your mouth trembling due to the pleasure, before slowly taking your step hyung's length inside your mouth with your tongue skillfully swirling around his girthy cock, especially the tip.

taeyong moaned deeply in euphoria, his eyes deeply fixated on your figure taking his dick very well right now — highly turned on by how hot you look right now. the ecstatic feeling made him grip your hair as he began to thrust his hips softly, allowing you to look up at him with tears brimming your eyes.

as you start to bob your head, your clutch on the sheets tightens due to the relentless thrusts that jaehyun has been doing behind you, hitting your prostate consistently at every thrust, causing you moan and whimper messily around taeyong's dick— the feeling was just too good that you couldn't keep your mouth from spewing the lewdest noise you had ever made in your life.

taeyong couldn't help but groan while throwing his head back, the sensation, and vibrations sent by your moans all throughout his body just felt so good to him that it's impossible for him to put his moans to moderation.

"so good— fuck— you're doing so fucking good, pup~" taeyong praised as he continue to release breathy moans. the way his words ran through your ears aroused you even more, causing you to clench your hole tightly around jaehyun's cock.

you desperately wanted to hear those praises again — the addictive praises from taeyong that never failed to make you whimper more and more — so you decided to do your best to pleasure them more. you bobbed your head faster while clamping jaehyun's cock in between your walls greedily — so greedy that you don't care if you're starting to look like a desperate mess gagging and moaning on the cocks inside you.

"goddamn little slut—," jaehyun moaned and struck your prostate yet again, paddling you once more while he lost himself in how comfortable you felt with him and how graciously your hole embraced his cock.

taeyong strokes the hair sticking on your face as he goes on to slowly thrust his cock again inside your mouth, looking at you lovingly as he does so. "shhhh, don't listen to jaehyun-hyung, ok, angel? you're not a slut~" he reassured.

at this point, you couldn't care less what the both of them are saying— everything just feels so overwhelmingly good— you just want to do everything to make them feel the best as you chase your own high as well.

"look at your slutty hole tightening around me— fuck!— gonna cum for me like that?" jaehyun moaned. his fingernails started to dig deep into the skin of your hips as he roughly abused your prostate over and over. he then jerked the tip of your cock as he felt his own climax approaching soon, making you on taeyong's length.

"shit— baby— i'm gonna bust—!" taeyong moaned out loud, releasing his warm cum deep down the velvety walls of your throat. you moaned and panted around his length as you took him out of your mouth, heaving as you tried to collect yourself, however, the thrusts of jaehyun became too much for you to take in, driving you even closer to your climax.

riding out your high, your cum spurted everywhere, while jaehyun cummed inside you, before pulling out and releasing the rest of his load on your back.

"such a great boy you've been for us, pretty prince~" taeyong praised as he pushed 2 fingers inside your mouth, which you sucked on greedily. he giggled at you before pulling you into a loving kiss, allowing you to play with both of your spit and his cum inside your mouth before you swallowed it.

as you pull away, jaehyun immediately manhandles and faces you in front of him, "i hope you're not forgetting about me, little whore," jaehyun said as he kissed you roughly again. although surprised, it didn't take long for you to adjust to his roughness as you kissed him back with the same hunger.

the two of you kissed messily that you didn't notice taeyong behind you positioning himself to penetrate you as well. it is just then that you sensed his presence when you felt his tip start to enter you.

feeling the warmness and tightness of your hole, taeyong couldn't help but moan deeply in pleasure from how welcoming your hole felt the moment he entered you. "t-taking me so good, love~" taeyong praised again. his intrusion made you whimper against jaehyun's lip that led you to break the kiss.

"you can't even kiss me properly. you're just that dumb and pathetic, aren't you, bitch?" jaehyun degraded, smirking widely as he watched taeyong drive you to lay on your stomach.

"'m sorry, hyungie~" you apologized as you looked at him innocently deep in the eyes, but jaehyun wasn't buying it, instead, he slapped your face quite harshly. "instead of saying anything, why don't you just use your mouth into something more useful, huh?"

right immediately, you started taking his length at your own pace, but it was too slow for someone as impatient as jaehyun. in result, he decided to grip your hair and push you down deeper on his cock, causing you to gag on his humongous length as tears brimmed up your eyes.

"oh yeah~ just like that, bitch~" jaehyun groaned. you began bobbing your head at the pace jaehyun had set: fast and aggressive while swirling your tongue around his cock. his harsh grip on your head didn't easen— he held onto it for his dear life, thrusting occasionally as he enjoyed himself inside your warm mouth.

"fuck— fuck— that's it, y/n~" jaehyun moaned continuously just like that, repeating curses and your name again and again as he found pleasure in abusing your mouth.

meanwhile, taeyong continues to thrust into you at a very steady, and moderate pace, his hands holding your hips as he  continues to spew out continuous praises.

"y-you're doing so good for us—fuck! it feels so good!" taeyong moaned as he bucked his hips a little harder, resulting in you moaning and struggling with taking jaehyun's length as he hit your prostate repeatedly.

seeing your response to his actions, taeyong couldn't help it but smirk devilishly at you as he went on to repeat his actions again and again. this has caused you to tear up as you choke and struggle on jaehyun's dick.

jaehyun gripped your hair harshly as he spat on your face. "the only thing you're asked to do is to pleasure me with your pathetic mouth, and you still can't do that right? what a useless little whore you are,"

"now, now, jaehyun-ah~ don't say things like that~ our little y/n has done so good for us~" taeyong stated as he abuse your prostate again, allowing you to moan and choke around jaehyun's cock— to which he responded with a harsh thrust into your throat continuously.

you may have been overly sensitive and seeing stars because you were being fucked by both of your step brothers, or perhaps it was because one of them was gentle and praised you the entire time while the other was brutal and insulted you. regardless, you were enjoying every minute of it.

because of taeyong's thrusts and the sensation, you choked on jaehyun's length, trying to make him feel wonderful while hearing him whimper. "i-i'm getting close!" taeyong whimpered once again. he started quickening his pace up, which made you moan and send vibrations up on your other step brother's, jaehyun's, cock— which sent him into an overdrive.

as you felt your own orgasm incoming, you clenched tightly around taeyong— moaning continuously around jaehyun's length as you looked up to him. "fucking slut~" jaehyun groaned as he let go of himself snd started facefucking you before releasing profusely deep inside your mouth.

you rode your high not long after, releasing your seeds all over the sheets again.

"you're so good, angel~ so, so good for us~" taeyong whimpered once more as he brushed his cock on your prostate again before releasing deep inside you.

thinking everything was done, your head fell weak on jaehyun's lap as you heaved yourself out. your two step brothers shared a look— smirking evilly at their devilish thoughts.

taeyong laid on his back with his hands behind his head, letting himself relax for a while before you laid on top of him, nuzzling his neck. you felt a warm breath hit your ears as taeyong whispered to you, "can you go for one more round, sweets? will you ride me like the best boy you are?" he asked, in which you didn't turn down and immediately went into action.

unreluctantly, you slid yourself down again on his cock, and the shock of pleasure hit both of your body again. "t-there— what an obedient kitten~" taeyong praised as you were successful in taking his whole cock again.

soft, shaky whines left your mouth as you felt sensitive from the previous rounds but that didn't stop you from bouncing softly on his cock. it was just then that you gasped as you felt jaehyun pushed you on top of taeyong, both of your chests pressing against each other.

jaehyun positioned himself behind you before whispering, "you'll take me in as well, right? i know you will~ that's how big of a slut you are~" he said cockily before going inside your hole.

now that there are 2 cocks inside you right now, you are moaning quite loudly at the sensational stretch that you're feeling at this moment. you gasped for air while gripping the sheets as you adjusted to their length— which they let you do.

jaehyun pushed himself slowly in hopes of not hurting you. he groaned at the tight feeling of your ass as he fought for his space deep inside you— it felt too much yet so great for the three of you. taeyong smiled softly as he peppered you with kisses and praises.

"f-fucking— bitch! t-taking his step brothers' cocks like this, huh?—" the rough pace of jaehyun began again as he made you scream their names out in pleasure. 

although your two step brothers behaved very differently from one another, perhaps this was also the cause of how amazing everything felt.

"ssshhh, don't cry, angel~ you're taking us both so good and so well~" taeyong said as he wiped the tears streaming down your cheeks as he pecked your lips. the words of your eldest step brother made you feel at ease from the roughness that they're making you feel.

"who would've thought that our little "angel" would turn out to be a filthy slut~?" jaehyun degraded you nonstop as his handprint on your ass cheeks became visible due to how harsh he's been spanking you since.

"'m not a slut!" you tried to speak up only for you to be cut off by taeyong who pulled you in for another kiss. your lips were sure to be swollen at this point, but who cares? it's not like your parents will see it anytime soon anyway. jaehyun could only chuckle as you as he fucked your ass unforgivingly, making you have a hard time on kissing taeyong— causing you to bite either his lip or his tongue.

that forced you to break the kiss as you, again, moaned out their names out loud. all of you were too drowned in pleasure that it didn't take long for the three of you to ride out your final, yet hardest orgasms.

you shuddered at the overwhelming feeling that you were put on the brink of passing out. the three of you panted so hard— while jaehyun fell on your back, sandwiching you in between them while breathing heavily as you composed yourselves.

it was indeed a wild night, and this is just the beginning— but you sure were not complaining.

[baby-alien11]

Met Gala (Y/N Ulrich Universe)

taglist (open): @volturi-girl-imagines @dessxoxsworld @camiesully @ethanlandryluver @nowitsmissing @aliciacat20 @gabbylovesreading @nikfigueiredo @itsaaliyah2

Ever since the invitation for you and Jack to attend the 2024 MET Gala arrived, you and Jack along with both teams of stylist started to work for the looks, managing to pull a replica of a Dior vintage dress and Jack got a custom made suit to match with your dress

"I'm not going to let you go with a boring suit", you said to Jack during the design process of the outfits, "We're going to serve in the Gala"

The months previer to the Gala passed between doing personal projects, fittings of the outfits and tests of hair and make up; and when the time to fly to New York for the even, both of you arrived on saturday night, to be able to watch the Miami GP races on sunday, which ended up in Jack being over the moon to watch a McLaren win, which made you happy because it was one of his favorite teams

The monday of the MET Gala, preparations started early with the styling, and the best thing was that the disagner both of you were using wasn't spoiled online, and you were sure of that thanks to being chronically online

"Almost no one is serving", you commented seeing the first looks arriving

"What's with the beige and black colors?", Jack frowned

"I know, they're not with the dress code"

Having multiple views of all the attendants of the event, the styling continued for almost an hour, in which your hair was the longest to get ready, during which Jack got dressed in his blue with embroidered flowers suit

Once your hair and make up was ready, it was time to put on the dress (which they made floor lenght for the gala), shoes, earrings, bracelet, necklace and took the purse chosen for the look, even putting a bit of pink eyeshaown in your tattoo; before leaving for the event, photos and videos of the looks were taken, individually and in couple, before covering both of your looks with black capes and keep the surprise for the carpet

"I remember when getting ready for the Scream premiere, in that same hotel, you said about feeling like going to the MET", Rachel mentioned on the van on the way to the event, "And now both of you are going, how does it feel?"

"I can't believe Anna Wintour knows who we are", Jack said causing laughs for everyone

"Exactly the same thought", you nodded, "I thought it was going to be a few years before attending, but we are going before turning twenty, this is crazy"

Arriving at the MET, a few more minutes after you were able to go down thanks to the guests arriving, and standing in the line to wait to step into the carpet, but feeling a bit nervous to talk to someone, both of you kept the talking between yourselves, until a voice behind you spoke

"Nice outfits guys"

Hearing that voice, both of you stayed in shock for a few seconds before turning to look at Sir Lewis Hamilton with a black outfit and gold accesories, smiling at both of you

"Thank you", Jack said a bit starstruck

"Is Dior?", Lewis asked

"Yeah, I'm wearing a replica of a 1949 Dior and Jack got a customed suit", you explained, "I'm sorry, we didn't introduce ourselves, I'm Y/N Ulrich"

"Hi, Jack Champion"

"You're the kids Max, Carlos, Lance and Mick talk about", Lewis exclaimed recognising your names, "Nice to finally meet you, also I saw the interview, it was amazing"

"Thank you so much", you smiled, "By the way, amazing outfit"

"Thanks, it's inspired by John Ystumllyn, one of the first black gardeners in England", Lewis explained before opening his coat, "Even I have a poem about him in it"

"This is incredible, all the detail in the look", Jack recognised reading the poem, "By the way, we saw the race yesterday, well, all the weekend, it was incredible"

"It hasn't been a good year for us, but we are pushing the car the best way we can, and thank you for the support, and Max said something about both of you going to Monaco for the race"

"Yeah, he invited us, it was one of the gifts in the box", you nodded

"Well, regardless of both of you being in the Red Bull garage, you are welcome to the Mercedes one, also in the Ferrari one next year"

"It's an honor, thank you", Jack nodded

Soon, the conversation was over as a photographer approached asking for a photo of the three of you, at what all of you possed for it; as the line kept conitnuing and the time to pose in the steps, the three of you continued to talk

When the time to go arrived, Lewis gave both of you a few advices on how to pose and to show the outfits, which both of you made sure to follow, not noticing he was taking photos of both of you with his phone

Walking along the stairs, both of you stopped at the top for a Vogue interview

"Now, we have Y/N Ulrich and Jack Champion, one of the IT couples, guys, I love the outfits, I want to know everything about the looks", the interviewer said

"We are wearing Dior, this is a replica of a 1949 couture dress"

"And this is a costum made Dior suit, it was made so we can match, and stay with the theme"

"Stunning, also this your first MET Gala, how does it feel?"

"Surreal", you smiled, "It's like another world"

"Guys, I know you are the Ghostface princess and prince, but today, you are the floral royalty"

"Thank you", both of you smiled blushing a bit

A little after, both of you continue the way to the building, greeting Anna Wintour who was at the steps greeting all the guests, before entering to see the exhibition and meeting more people (which included you and Rachel Zegler finally meeting in person), and then going to the salon where the dinner and show would be held, finishing the first MET Gala for both of you (and fortunately more to come)

[heich0e]

tags: smut, f!reader, oral (f!receiving), slight exhibitionism, slight coercion (reader is reluctant but easily swayed), mentions of slightly toxic relationship dynamic, this was inspired by @andypantsx3 and @mydiluc so credit where credit is due!!, word count 2.4k, 18+ MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT

the door to the spare bedroom in your apartment (that in the past few years has doubled as a makeshift office, a storage room, and has very seldom actually hosted a guest) creaks open, and out of pure instinct you temporarily turn off the video feed from your end of the zoom call. 

"i'm bored," eren pouts, slumping against the doorframe with his hands shoved into the front pocket of his hoodie.

"eren, i'm in a meeting," you whisper, even though your microphone has been muted for the majority of the video conference (and will likely remain that way until it concludes.)

"you're always in meetings," he complains, slinking a little bit further into the spare room and closer to you.

"eren, that's because i have a job," you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose, "meetings are part of being employed."

eren makes an indignant little sound. his lips flattening in what you recognize as offence. 

"baby, i didn't mean it like that," you say softly, remorse seeping into your words. 

eren doesn't work. he's supported by his family, old old money, and has been picking away at a master's degree for the past few years that with every passing day you wonder if he'll ever actually finish--not that you'd ever tell him that, and not that it really matters considering he technically never has to work a day in his life and he'll still have more wealth to his name than most people could ever hope to accumulate. 

you didn't grow up in a family like eren's. didn't have the same privileges and safeguards and assurances that he's had all his life. you went to university on a scholarship. worked your ass off to maintain it. fought for competitive internships that would make you more appealing to prospective employers, and graduated with a good GPA that sweetened the deal. 

you met eren in your sophomore year, though his reputation absolutely preceded him–he was well known among the students not only for his family's name (the same name on multiple buildings across campus), but his good looks and his charm made him a bit notorious. you knew he didn't take school particularly seriously, but loved partying. and after a long (relentless) pursuit on his part that spanned the better part of the fall term, you finally agreed to a date after he half-jokingly threatened to enrol in all the same courses as you the following semester (a threat which, to this day, you're uncertain was really much of a joke at all.)

and now it's been years since the two of you got together. to the point that it's hard to remember a time without him at all. 

but those differences in your upbringings, in your work ethics, are still something that the two of you often have to work through. eren would prefer you didn't work at all--or at least didn't work quite so hard, or quite so much--but you enjoy working. sure the job you'd snagged as a new grad wasn't the most lucrative position, but it was entry level at a great company and there was opportunity for advancement which you planned to take full advantaged of. it was a competitive opening in your field and you'd managed to get the job all on your own--even in spite of eren begging you to let him ask his dad to call in a favour on your behalf.

eren sees no issue in using his family name in his (and those closest to him's) best interest. you'd prefer to earn things on your own merit.

the fundamental divide between the two of you.

eren eyes you mistrustfully from the edge of your desk, still sulking from your comment. 

"i really didn't mean it like that," you insist, reaching out towards him. "i just meant that there are parts of having a job you can't change."

eren slinks into your grasp, letting you wind your arms around his waist and burrow your face into his tummy from your seat in your desk chair. the video call in the background hasn't made much progress since you tuned it out, so you're not overly worried about what you might be missing. 

the soft material of eren's hoodie brushes against your cheeks, and his hands cradle the back of your head to hold you against him. 

"i know you didn't mean it like that," eren hums above you, and you tilt your face up so your chin rests just above his navel so you can peek up at him. "i just feel like i never see you anymore."

"eren we see each other every day," you reply, brow furrowing in confusion. you work hybrid in-office/work from home, and with eren picking away leisurely at his masters dissertation his days are mostly spent at home "researching" (playing video games.)

"but you're always so busy," eren pouts, his large hands cupping your cheeks. his thumbs stroke the hollows below your eyes. "you work so hard."

you tilt your face into his touch, your cheek squishing against his palm. he presses a little firmer against either one of your cheeks until your lips pucker, and chuckles softly to himself -- a quiet little 'heh'.

"is your call boring?" eren asks, his eyes sliding to the computer screen in front of you where the call is continuing. 

"ah widd'l," you say, your cheeks still smushed together in his hands. he eases up his grip, brushing some hair back from your face. you sigh, turning in your desk chair and looking back to your computer. "i haven't even really said much. i never do in these meetings since it's mainly advertising and marketing execs, but attendance is mandatory for my team." 

"so you don't have to say anything?"

you hum, reaching forward and clicking on the chat box to see what new messages have popped up since you've been distracted. there are a few links in the conversation and you click to open them in a new window to review after the call concludes. 

eren crouches down beside you, dragging your chair back slightly from the desk. 

"eren, what are you doing?" you ask him, flushing as he pushes your knees apart and squeezes his broad frame in between them. from the waist up you’re dressed in normal work clothes, but you hadn’t bothered to put on proper bottoms that morning so all you have on your lower half is a silky pair of pyjama shorts (one of the perks of working from home.)

“i wanna give you head,” he says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. he reaches for the waistband of your shorts but you stop him with a hand on either wrist.

“eren!” you hiss, your eyes flickering to your screen again just to double—triple—check that your mic is muted and your camera is really properly off. it is, but it still brings you little comfort with the faces of your company’s executives plastered across your computer screen.

“what?” he asks, pouting. he rests his cheek against the plushness of your thigh. “why can’t i?” 

“i’m working. i’m in a meeting.”

“that you don’t need to talk in, and that your camera is off for,” he counters, his lithe fingers snaking up the leg of your teeny tiny shorts—he grins when he realizes you’re not wearing panties underneath. his breath is hot and humid on your skin, and the look in his eyes makes your stomach feel tight. 

“eren, i can’t—” 

“you don’t have to do anything,” he smoothly interrupts, the tip of his finger stroking softly up your slit underneath your shorts. “just let me take care of you, my professional, hardworking girl.”

eren was blessed with a silver tongue to go along with the silver spoon he’d been raised with in his mouth. you know you shouldn’t. that it would be an egregious act of misconduct to go along with what he’s saying. but before you can even think to refuse him your silky shorts are hanging off your ankle and your legs are looped over his broad shoulders, slumped back in your desk chair as eren licks long, broad stripes through the sopping wet petals of your pussy. 

“eren, eren—!“ you choke on a pealing moan, your fingers tangling in his soft hair and tugging firmly against the strands. he’s always so slow to take you apart, so dilligent in the way he presses his tongue against you, so methodical about the way that he skirts around your clit—brushing it but never giving it quite the stimulation you want—which only makes you more desperate and needy for him.

just the way he likes you.

“you taste so good,” he murmurs against your cunt, wet and sloppy as he drags his tongue up to collect your slick and his spit along it. he swallows animatedly, like he’s making a big show of it. “do you know how good you taste?”

you shake your head in a trembling little show of dissent. 

he hums. “so good. sweetest little pussy on earth.”

he dips his fingertips inside of you, letting you get just a taste of the stretch before he’s pulling them out again. he holds them up to your face so you can see the shine of fluid clinging to his skin, down to the first knuckle. 

“taste it, baby.”

he presses against your lips and you welcome the digits in. you wouldn’t call the taste sweet by any stretch of the imagination. there’s a headiness to it. a tang. something familiar to the taste that’s not unpleasant. 

eren pushes his fingers back so far in your mouth that you almost choke, but there’s something familiar in this too—you’re used to the prodding at the back of your tongue, the sudden intrusion just at the opening of your throat. he likes teasing you like this. dominating you in such a subtle way it feels like more of a game. you moan, and as your head tips back eren finally sucks hard against your neglected clit. 

your toes curl as they hover over the planes of his back, your spine bending and lifting your chest up towards the ceiling as it bows. eren slips his fingers, now soaked in your spit, back out from between your lips—leaving a little trail of saliva down your chin. eren rubs his slick fingertips against the swell of your clit, rubbing quick circles against it. 

the heat in the pit of your stomach kindles, the knot tightening in your core. 

“you gonna cum?” eren asks, pressing a contrastingly chaste kiss to your trembling thigh. “you gonna cum for me—“

“miss reader?” 

your last name shocks you like a splash of ice water across a circuit board.

both you and eren freeze, your eyes snapping to the computer in front of you. 

the call has gone quiet, and the senior ad executive is looking expectantly to the screen. 

“miss reader are you still there?” the executive repeats. 

frantically you push eren away from you, snapping your legs closed and pulling yourself up to the computer in your chair. you unmute your microphone after clearing your throat. 

“hello?” you say, your voice fluttery and flustered. “i’m here!”

the executive relaxes slightly, chuckling. “thought we’d lost you there!” 

“sorry, sorry,” you apologize, your shaking hands pressed over your eyes. “i’m having, um, some issues with my internet connection. keeping my camera off is helping but the call is still a little laggy on my end.”

the executive hums. “no worries, it happens to us all. just wondering if you have any updates on this quarter’s numbers?” 

you swallow, eyes flickering to eren who’s seated on the ground next to you, leaning against your desk with a sly grin on his face, palming at his cock through his sweatpants. 

“yes, of course,”—you nod even though your camera is still off, instinct more than logic—“the data is still raw, and we haven’t had a chance to properly analyze it yet since it’s still early, but i can forward the spreadsheet to everyone after the call?” 

you watch your colleagues all nod or make small noises of agreement from their sides of the screen.

“ok, sounds good. we’ll keep an eye out for it,” the advertising manager nods, and you see the end of his pen swivelling in the corner of the screen as he makes a note out of frame of his webcam. “now, moving onto the issue from last week’s meeting—“

you slam you mute button on once more, slumping back in your chair in relief. you toss your arm over your eyes, a throbbing between your temples the echoes the dull, unsatisfied ache between your legs. 

“good job, baby,” eren laughs, running a comforting hand up your bare thigh, fingertips kneading into the flesh. “you barely sounded like you were just about to cum.”

“eren, that wasn’t funny.”

eren pulls your chair back from your desk again, pressing a kiss to one knee and then the other. 

“i’m sorry,” he says softly, you pull your arm away from your eyes to peek down at him. he’s looking up at you with a wide-eyed, beseeching gaze. he rests his chin in the valley between your knees. “i didn’t mean to upset you.”

you sigh lightly. 

“i’m not upset,” you murmur, touching his cheek gently. he reaches up and places his hand over yours as it cups his face. “it was just stressful.”

eren tilts his face so he can press a kiss to your palm, then pulls your hand a little closer so he can press another to your wrist where your pulse pounds arrhythmically. 

“i know,—” 

eren nods as he peeks up at you through his lashes, the green of his gaze cool and comforting. the hand that’s not holding yours to his lips snakes easily between your knees, easing them ever so slightly apart. 

your breath hitches as the cool air catches on the remnants of spit and arousal that have smeared messily along your upper thighs. your stomach clenches. 

“—so just sit back and let me make it up to you.”

[just2bubbly]

So apparently I decided to write fluff after a long long time and I'm quite proud of myself for that! :)

Masterlist

Romantic Diversions

Ship: Kaider

Words: 925

Genre: Fluff

Kai's Perspective:

Dhsam!

The door was opened with a loud bang which caused Kai to stir from his work. This uninvited disturbance gave rise to subtle anger and he was ready to pounce on the individual who had decided to barge in his cabin in such a dramatic fashion. 

Regardless, he didn't do any of that since the person who was standing at the door was his own wife. He smiled at her sight, expecting the generic 'Did I disturb you?' from her but she had more surprising cards up her sleeves today. Her theatrical entry just led to an even bigger bouncy voice. 

"I can't believe you did that?!" she cried as she pulled a seat before him. That phrase left him more baffled than ever. Cinder wasn't the one for dramatic flair if truth be told- he was the theatre kid out of the two. 

"What did I do?" he questioned, the file he was working on completely forgotten. 

"Look," she said as she passed the tablet to him. Kai was really curious about what he had done that had got Cinder so excited so he looked into the screen without asking any further questions. 

The screen played a video: 

"Your Majesty, would you like to say anything about the lack of apprehension-" some reporter asked before being interrupted by another.

Kai was not expecting to be chased by a mass of reporters as he flew back home. Alas, he was having a press conference in the airport parking lot right now and he definitely wasn't prepared for this one. 

"Goodness, is that Dr Alan Coetze I see there," he exclaimed- seeing the familiar face of the scientist who talked in a language Kai wasn't quite fluent in. Cinder used to love watching his shows and Kai had seen them from time to time too.

"My wife, the Empress is a big fan of Dr Coetze. You would have to excuse me. I need to have his autograph. My wife would be sorely disappointed if I let down this chance," he explained as he tried making his way towards his saviour. 

The press seemed taken aback by his words, having a hard time believing that it was the Emperor gushing about a European scientist who had just won the Nobel Peace Prize for his thesis. 

"But you are the Emperor, Your Majesty-" someone argued, trying to put sense in him. 

"So what? You don't have any idea how inconsiderate intelligent people are towards royalty," he noted. His arguments made little sense but he needed an escapade and this crazily intelligent man that was standing a few yards from him was going to give him exactly that. 

"Your Majesty, you don't- " 

"I understand it's your work but you do have to be a little understanding about my situation too. My anniversary is getting closer and what better gift than the autograph of Dr Alan Coetze. You would have to excuse me for now. However I promise you, there will be a press conference in New Beijing and I look forward to seeing you all there." 

..

"Oh goodness!" Kai laughed and looked up, his wife's contagious smile made him smile more. 

"I can't believe you said it!" she gushed again. 

"Well, I had a flight to attend and the press wasn't going anywhere. I had to make some diversions," he elaborated, passing the tablet back to her. If he knew anything, he was sure this news was everywhere by now. 

"You're telling me the world's best diplomat needed a romantic diversion?"

"You're never gonna let this one go, are you?" he asked, knowing very well the answer to that question, instead he focused on signing the bottom of the page. 

"That isn't going to be the problem. Next press conference everyone is going to talk about this and this only," she pointed out, forgetting to mention that she too was going to make multiple jokes at his expense. 

He glanced at her, thinking how if these small diversions were what made her smile ear to ear then Kai would be likely to commit more of them every now and then. 

"Nothing that a small 'I love my wife' can't suffice." 

"Which reminds me - you said 'my wife' so many times throughout the entire thing." 

"I have a lovely wife. You can't forbid me from bringing her up all the damn time," he said. 

"Stars, I can't believe you," she continued to say, glancing back at the video before whispering, "I love my wonderful husband too." 

"Shh, don't let my wife hear about this. She gets quite protective," he smirked, throwing a wink in her direction. 

That made her chuckle again as she leaned over the desk to whisper in his ear, "Where's my autograph, Your Majesty?"

He tipped to stare into her brown orbs and replied, "I think I said it was an anniversary gift."

Before closing the inches between the two, he murmured, "Wait your time kitten." Cinder captured his lips with hers, her hands holding the back of his neck. One of his hands spread across her cheek, as he deepened the -

Tring! Tring!

The kiss was cut short by the comm that rang through Cinder's tablet and both of them groaned over it. 

"I'd see you at dinner," Cinder said, getting up from her seat. She was almost out of the door when she looked over her shoulder and announced, "I better have an autograph." 

Kai chuckled at the demand and had a delighted feeling for having met the scientist that day.

--

A/N: Wrote this because I have got myself fixated on this power celebrity couple and they had a fun banter on the media and I couldn't help but imagine it for Kai and Cinder. It seems a lil unrelaistic but it's mostly the modern day alteration of the royalty and media. Hope you like it! <333

tagging: @gingerale2017 @salt-warrior @slmkaider @cinderswrench @cindersassasin @impossiblesuitcase @kaiderswell @kaider-is-my-otp @therealkaidertrash21 @fangirlforever0704

[here-to-read-and-write]

Don't forget to leave your requests because honestly I'm starting to loose ideas and motivation to write.

Thank you.

Author note : So I had this crazy idea. What if the reader was a captain of a team and after a rough mission that required both 1-4-1 and Las Vargas you all decided to drink in the base, suddenly one of your team challenged you in a video game with a reward if you win.

Warning: mention of sex, the reader is a captain. Bunny outfit, mention of stripper. The reader hide her face under a mask. My mistake and writing. Not proofreading.

What do you think?

Part 2????

It was past midnight and your were finally able to return to the base after a long and tiring mission and no casualties, yet no one seemed to want to sleep afraid of nightmares that may come because of all the traumatic events that happened.

You all decided to drink but you didn't dare to touch the liquor afraid of all the secret you may spill so you just sir there as everyone drank there heart out.

The young ones of the teams were laughing exchanging jokes, while the older just watched and sometimes talked about whatever the conversation brought.

You on the other like just sat there when suddenly one of your male member of your team rushed to you demanding a match in video games.

"and If I win you have to wear this" he passed you a box with a bunny outfit.

"That stripper shit" One of the female members of your team remarked making the other giggle.

You weren't a strict captain, you didn't even act like a captain outside of mission. Maybe that's why you were so close with your team, that didn't mean you were nice in training.

Everyone waited as they watched you pull the dress out, and like she said it was stripper shit. The dress didn't have anything to cover your body, it was like swimsuit with bonny tail and ears but you couldn't lie it was cute, unfortunately it wouldn't feat you.

It was made for people with small breasts and yours were anything but small, yet you smirked under your mask, a mischievous idea coming to you.

"okay...but" You turn to the male team member before you continue "if I won.. you are to wear it"

You team member didn't think twice before agreeing. You felt a little bad for him..but all well he should have made research before challenging you.

Everyone in your team knew how of a sex addict you were. You could go multiple round and yet you won't feel satisfied, maybe that's why you never had a boyfriend, and it seem that he didn't know or just didn't want to believe the rumours, so a little demonstrate was needed.

"Should I leave the game choice to you?" You titled your head and he smirked. He had the audacity to smirk... don't worry soon you will wiped it out of his face.

"I will" he proudly said, puffing his chest, leaving without even a goodbye.

Didn't he really think he was a man, soon he will be screaming like Moaning Myrtle from Harry Potter. You thought.

"Okay.. Goodnight everyone" you waved at your partners before turning to your team members.

"We were going to a new mission tomorrow but since one you will too tired" You pointed at the male leaving the room "you can have a day off tomorrow" You chuckled as everyone cheered.

It wasn't weird for you to have mission after mission. You were damned good, making the teams with most mission, it was tired luckily you were all more than capable of handling it.

You followed the male to his room before going to your own. You were no way on hell fucking him in his room, besides yours had camera ready to take pictures of him wearing that bunny dress.

Back at with 1-4-1 and Las Vargas, the air was a little awkward, how can it not be when they just watched someone challenging their captain not only that but they demand for their captain to wear something like that if they won, which was straight disrespectful.

Your team on the contrary, were cheering up, happy to have one day off. They soon after three shots begun to bet.

"I bet 50, they are going to go all night" one of them bet, and some followed.

"I bet he won't be able to walk tomorrow" This earned a laugh from all of them before they whispered "poor him"

"I warned him" you right hand said, catching the attention of everyone.

"So you knew" One spoke and your right hand nodded "I asked him not to do it but he disobedience orders" Your right hand took a shot before slamming the cup on the table.

"You are jealous" One said snuggly "Of course I'm jealous, don't tell me you 'rn't... That's captain we are talking about... She's hot" everyone nodded she was indeed hot with those immense breasts, and that hot body full of scares... everyone almost moaned at the thought.

Now even the others(1-4-1 and Las Vargas) were wondering how your hand would feel like..fuck that can make anyone hard.

"She's awesome...Like have you seen her on field..How she took those guys down, like they were nothing...If she stepped on me I will thank her" He nodded to himself, he was drunk out of his mind but they say drunken words are sobber thoughts.

"Mommy" It was supposed to be a whispered under the breath than know should have heard yet they all seem to have, and everyone noticed by how their body tensed, some caught to hide their own embarrassment.

"OKAY! I think we all agreed that it's time to head to bed" everyone sigh in relief as Price spoke averting their attention from their little problem down there.

Everyone left, and once the silence dominated their space, unholy thought start to surface. Each of them imagining what could be happening between you and your male team member, some of them were jealous of him been touched by you.

That night no one slept. Not even you except your drunken team members who could handle some liquor in their system.

[greyghoulette]

my notes on the reckoning of new york demo (spoilers of course)

new character redesigns -

•D’Angelo with the vape pen my beloved

•Thomas wearing RED and that COAT, they did that for me thank you for everything draw distance.

•Ok Qadir I see the vision with the outfit, love his redesign. Miss his suit though, but I guess it’s chilly outside so.

•Aisling looks really young, younger than she was. She was 25 when she was embraced and to me she now looks around 20. I don’t want to come across as nitpicky I just wasn’t expecting it.

•I’m kinda glad they’ve went with a natural skin tone with Panhard, her face to me is unique! Her outfit is cool

•Julia in JEANS, she looks so fuckingn cool I love my loser gf so much

•Payne and his servant p much the same

•So glad they gave Torque his hat back, I missed it

•Valerie…. is Valerie not much to say on that

new characters -

•Kali is already a fav, love her inner dialogue yet with the trailer I have SO many questions about the similarities in outfit and accessories with the character appearing to feature in Padraic’s route

•Very intruiged for Padraic’s route, esp with him being a mediator and on Torque’s side. From the trailer there is another chatacter who is quite important to him who I think we won’t see at all (apart from being mentioned) until Padraic’s route

•Love Padraic’s fashion (also more Irish rep? We love to see it)

•It seems we’re going to be getting a lot out of this game, esp with the additional route where we play as Padraic. Maybe there will also be a third route that wraps things up?

•The hunters are interesting, don’t really have much to say about them as of right now

•Hound’s character description saying he just wants to play video games he’s so me

•No name for him yet but the guy basically cosplaying Blade, I respect that

•The menu music and the trailer music is so fucking good I can’t wait to obsess over the soundtrack when we hear more of it

•The backgrounds we’ve seen so far in the demo and the trailer are STUNNING, I can’t wait for an art book release

story notes -

•We are in 2024 now, going into 2025. The last game was in 2020, we can assume a lot of shit has went down but Panhard is still prince

•Kali attempting to use Awe in Elysium. Kali my sweet summer child.

•I’ve seen multiple ppl mention that Padraic could be a Malkavian caitiff which I find very intriguing.

•Also Padraic is apparently a mediator and he’s an anarch seemingly? If Torque is bringing around Padraic and not Mia then that seems odd but time has passed maybe something happened

•Where is SAMIRA GAME WHERE IS SHE WHERE IS SAMIRA WHERE IS SAMIRA

•Thomas yap yap yapping we are so back

•We love to see more of Panhard, but I feel it will not end well for my girl this game

•The Shadows of New York good ending being canon, again thank you for everything draw distance

•So they mention that two duskborn have been killed and another kindred, from the Ventrue Clan “Just last night, two Duskborn and a fledgling from your clan were reduced to ashes”

•Are Hunters the main threat here? Knowing this franchise I doubt that’s the case. It sounds like there’s been an issue of multiple kindred dying over the past couple years

•…Is Larson alive? He was completely absent in Shadows, and in Coteries he COULD seemingly die depending on what choice you made in D’Angelo’s route on how to deal with Sana

•I just love the Christmas setting, going into new year. It’s like they’ve read my mind.

•The art style initially put me off, but it definitely matches the tone their going for, which I feel we would lose with the previous games style

•The trailer showed clan symbols in different territories and I don’t know much about the geography of New York, but the Tzimisce symbol was on Ellis Island right ??? (interesting because in New York By Night, Isaac’s sire Vaclav resides there)

•So that was definitely Reyner with Aisling at the very end of the demo right? Looking at it, the silhouette doesn’t match with anyone else

In conclusion, I am so hype for this game. Yet with it being the final one I’m also so nervous for how it’s going to end, like I’ve been way too invested in these set of games and sometimes I feel embarrassed about it, but these games really helped me through a horribly shitty time in my life so their a comfort for me (even though there is no comfort in them but y’know)

[pikatrainer99]

So...I figured I should probably elaborate on Kieran after my last reblog so you all get where I'm coming from with my stance on him...

(Basically the TLDR of this post is this: I like Kieran much better when he's like this, look how happy he is, it's adorable 🥺)

(He legit terrifies me when he's like this though...😖)

My thoughts on him changed drastically throughout my playthrough of the DLC multiple times...and I'm gonna explain why.

First, when I first met him in the Teal Mask, I thought he was an adorkable socially awkward shy bean and I loved him because I'm very much the same way. Being (what seemed to me like) his first friend reminded me of how much of my childhood I spent friendless and the joy I felt at finally having one friend back in my last year of elementary school. As the Teal Mask story went on though, Kieran started to change...and I didn't know how to feel about the direction his character was headed...because it triggered traumatic memories in me...memories of that friend I had finally made...well...one day suddenly revealing that the friendship was never genuine and that they hated me the whole time, and they betrayed me...in a HARD-HITTING WAY...completely out of the blue, too...I had no idea what was happening with them or what I had done to deserve that awful treatment, but it didn't matter because I still got that treatment. I'm not going to go into the details because it's still terrifying to think about...but it was BAD...bad enough that I have severe PTSD because of this person. So, as you might expect from what I just told you, the way Kieran just suddenly turned on me in the Teal Mask story really made me have to make sure to use my coping skills and calming strategies in order to not have a PANIC ATTACK over a VIDEO GAME. And the ending of the Teal Mask where Kieran seemed to HATE me made me feel really scared for the Indigo Disk story and I tried my best to not think about it too much until it came out because I always felt nauseous if I thought about it. And even when it came out it took me a long time to be able to bring myself to finally play it... Kieran's new look reminded me even more of my real life friend turned bully I mentioned above, who also changed their look and even dyed their hair to a similar purple-ish color after the whole incident (yes I know Kieran didn't dye his hair, it's naturally purple-ish underneath, but my point still stands, it was similar enough to trigger me further), and I had a panic attack over it when I saw it in the trailer before the Indigo Disk came out. My thoughts were basically 'This is middle school all over again...' and I was not looking forward to facing the memories again, it was making me feel more and more anxious and sick as each day passed and it got closer to the release of the Indigo Disk. I also had more and more nightmares about that real life person which made me more and more tired and irritable, so that was not fun either. But...I knew I had to play it eventually, so to prepare myself for my own playthrough, I decided to prepare myself both physically and mentally by watching other people's playthroughs of the story first...multiple times. You have no idea how relieved I was when I found out that the story had a happy ending and Kieran was able to snap out of it, feel serious remorse, and resolve to change his ways and make everything right again. As you can probably guess from how visceral my reactions to this entire thing were, that did NOT happen with my real life friend turned bully...I'm pretty sure that individual still hates my guts to this day and I still to this day have absolutely NO CLUE what I did to make them turn on me so viciously like that. Anyway, I watched probably ten or twelve playthroughs on YouTube before I finally worked up the courage to play it myself. I finally finished it yesterday and I am glad that everything ended all well and good. I am so relieved and I am back to being a Kieran fan again now that he is back to his normal adorkable self. Now I only have the epilogue left to do in Violet and then I have to go through the entire DLC again in Scarlet...but I think I'll be fine for the DLC playthrough in Scarlet now that I've experienced everything in Violet.

So yeah, lots of complicated emotions and visceral reactions and stuff with my view of this fictional video game character...but I couldn't help it since he was a legit PTSD trigger for me during the last bit of the Teal Mask and the majority of the Indigo Disk...at least he's back to normal now though.

Anyway, what are you guys' thoughts on Kieran? How did you react throughout his arc? Which look do you like better on him, hair up or down? Feel free to let me know your thoughts on Kieran in the comments below!

[addcests]

five favorite characters

rules: make a poll with five of your all time favorite characters and then tag five people to do the same. see which character is everyone's favorite.

tagged by @hoardingator :3c

this was really rough bc my favs from the past (who shape lapin core) vs favs rn are clashing...... and it's Really rough when you have multiple from the same franchise and you have to Pick One (i Could put multiple from the same fandom to fill up the poll but that's Boring!)

as for my choices

obvious add pick, if you've been around on this blog long enough and know me, then i don't need to explain this one

minato from p3! aka p3 protag - if you call him his corn star name i am unfriending you Immediately (that goes for all the other persona protag's """canon names""", i def have many a words about this)

usagi but wow i wanted to do all men (bc i'm misogynistic and hate women !!!!! /s) but who would i be today w.o mentioning The bunny magical girl of all time?

libra -- this was tough bc out of all the fire emblem characters there's a few more i'd thought i'd pick but then i realized how crucial libra is to like... my tastes nowadays (and just of all times/overall) lmfao i am sooo weak for the (long hair) blonde type (bonus if healer or support of some kind; see next option below)

aventurine! i cannot explain how this man has invaded my head and took over my life.... i thought kaveh was bad but this gambler is truly infuriating,,, (affectionate) doctor i sympathize with you

and as for tagging, you the person reading this! free free to do it (and tag me!) i am simply too lazy and idr which of my friends are on here now to be bothered

honorable mentions below the cut! bc i'm in a rambley mood (it's pretty long):

the guy who SHOULD ACTUALLY BE THERE BESIDE AVENTURINE IS KAVEH! (genshin impact) happy bday btw light of my life but sorry you passed the torch to your son; other genshin impact honorable mentions: kaeya and diluc and albedo!

hsr: luocha....... you are literally just libra (do u see the vision in my taste now), this man was the reason why i kept playing hsr at all so he def deserves a medal; argenti could have been there too had there been more space! also sunday :>

rip lio (promare) who i demoted in favor of The guy aka aventurine, raihan (pokemon swsh) almost made it as well; i almost put howl (howl's moving castle) in aventurine's slot too but imo howl and lio are like same tier for me -- if i could do a sixth one of them would be there for sure

persona honorable mentions: akechi (if u hate akechi i absolutely Do Not Trust you) and naoto! < 333 also aigis! yusuke and haru! also shinji (if u hate shinji i also Do Not Trust you)

fire emblem honorable mentions: whoo boy i ALMOST put soren in 3rd or 4th slot! chrom was considered briefly too as well as flannel; when raihan was being considered i almost put claude. claude could have been there if i finished fe3h lmfao (some day!) also ferdie too! :3c

others: n (pokemon), leon (pokemon), kaiba (ygo), chibiusa (sailor moon - she should Really be up there with usagi for Many reasons but i'm not doubling up on the fandom so rip), madoka (pmmm), graha tia (ffxiv), sho minamimoto (twewy), thanatos (hades)

alternatively you could just stare at this: https://anilist.co/user/alittlelapin/favorites (but unfortunately it's Mostly anime chars - and Some video game chars who got anime/manga material and therefore they also luckily got thrown in the database lmfao)

thanks for reading o7 have a cookie!

[danceswithsporks]

Calm Part- 7

Parts 1 2 3 4 5 6

Part 2 of 6 in the Complete Series

Wrecker x Seamstress!Reader

Chapter Summary: as the two of you continue to work through your fears big steps are taken and precious words are shared.

Authors Note: woo! 3 days after my vacation ended and this part is already ready!! For those of you who read the preview for this story you’ll notice that the same section has made its appearance. It has been changed a little though so try not to skip straight through it! Also, after looking through my outline for this story it looks like we’re roughly three more updates away from the end!! I may try to squeeze a fourth update in but I’m not positive yet.

Now without further ramblings! Let’s jump into Part 7!

Calm, life on Pabu had returned to its almost Calm existence once more. Over the past two months, your little family had begun to heal. The nightmares that had plagued the both of them had become more and more infrequent and you could see the happiness slowly returning to Omega. You knew it wasn’t solely because of you.

Chai had settled on a planet that the boys had visited multiple times, Ord Mantell. With that, a steady delivery of something called Mantell Mix had begun. It was apparently Omega's favorite snack, as well as Wreckers. Phee hypothesized that the return of the girl's favorite snack was helping to give a sense of normalcy to her once more. You were inclined to agree.

A month after she’d left, Chai had sent her first package which had been exciting for all three of you. It was like they could both smell the treat from inside the crate, having been informed by you that it was all they talked about. Within you’d found a few tins of tea, a flier for the new shop Chai had opened with Phee, and some beautiful black and red shimmered Naboo silk. There was even a letter detailing how she missed you and the cool ocean breeze. It reminded you of your final days in school when you’d pass notes to one another. Sure you saw each other all the time, just as you now holo-videoed once a week, but it had been nice to not rely solely on technology to communicate. You’d sent your letter back to her with a warm cloak for her to wrap up in. Chai had mentioned how cold Ord Mantell could get and Omega had agreed. That same week Wrecker had left on the supply run for the first time in three months.

It had been one of the hardest moments for you to date. The worry and stress that had coursed through your body as you watched the Marauder leave the planet had made you feel as though ice water had been dumped on you. You felt ridiculous thinking that he would never leave again, but you’d found yourself hoping that he never would. That he’d just stay planetside for the rest of his life with you. But that wasn’t him, that wasn’t Wrecker. That wasn’t the clone you’d fallen in love with. Wrecker was a soldier, a man who helped those in need and traveled through the stars. The only thing that had stopped you from completely breaking down as the ship vanished into the clouds, was Omega. After the events of Tantiss, it had been decided by all of you that Omega was not leaving the planet again for a long time. The girl, surprisingly, had agreed.

Where you had been her rock for the last two months, she was now your rock for the few days Wrecker was gone. Four days. That’s how long he’d been gone. It was ridiculous how stressed you found yourself during that time but after the sudden loss of Tech, you worried that you’d suddenly lose Wrecker. Omega, being the sweetheart she was, spent those four days telling you silly stories about all of the boys. Apparently Wrecker, on one of their many adventures, had gotten his arm stuck in a small opening that ended up being the den of some Ollopoms. Wrecker had seen the pretty white, yellow, and pink of the small rodent and thought it was a flower. It had taken Hunter and Omega an hour to dig his arm out and by the time it was free, three baby Ollopoms had nested in his large hand. The image made you giggle. A victory for Omega.

By the time Wrecker had returned, a bundle of gorgeous exotic flowers in his arms for you, you hadn’t felt as stressed out about him leaving. Of course, you did waylay him for an entire day in your bedroom the moment he stepped through the doorway. Omega thought you were sick and he was taking care of you. You technically had been sick, sick from a lack of Wrecker inside of you. That sweet man of yours had given you the medicine you needed to feel better many, many, many times. Sure you hadn’t been able to walk properly the next day, but it was so worth it.

Over the past two months, the two of you had continued to work on your fears together. You’d been able to handle being on the Marauder while her engines purred around you and he’d been brave enough to sit on the wall with his feet dangling over the edge. It wasn’t a lot and definitely not a breakthrough for either of you, but it was a start.

One night, two weeks ago, Wrecker had mentioned that Chai had sounded homesick during your last call and that maybe she’d enjoy some company from home. The idea of being on the Marauder off the ground had made your heart begin to race. He’d taken your hand in his and kissed the back of it sweetly. “It was just a thought.” Came as a gentle whisper from him while he stroked your arm carefully.

“It’s not that I don’t want to visit her. It’s just…” your words had been stopped as he placed a finger against your lips.

“I know.” He’d kissed the corner of your lip sweetly before falling into silence. After a few quiet moments, he’d cleared his throat. “How about…we make a deal?” You shifted against him before looking up at him and raising your eyebrow.

“What did you have in mind?” Wrecker had given you an interesting look before speaking.

“How about we go visit that waterfall you were telling me about a few weeks ago?” He’d watched as you tilted your head in surprise.

“That’s at least a three-hour boat ride from here, on a different island.” Where was he going with this?

“With the Marauder it’s only thirty minutes.” You’d noticeably swallowed at the mention of the ship. “Would give us more time to enjoy the area.”

Your throat had tightened as you realized what he was hinting at. “You w-want to fly there?”

Wrecker nodded carefully before continuing. “We fly there and then we can jump off the falls, like you used to when you were younger.”

Wait, he wanted to jump off the waterfall? “Wrecker, that’s almost sixty feet. Are you sure?” You’d watched as he chewed his lip at the new information before he nodded quickly. If he was willing to brave a sixty-foot jump for you then surely you could brave flying in the ship to the island. Right?

You were now asking yourself that question once more while you stared at the ramp of the ship. You’d been on the ship countless times now. Wrecker took every opportunity to bring you here for meals or late-night walks, as well as other activities. Trying to get you as comfortable as possible with the ship. You knew every part of the ship inside and out now, as well as how comfortable each bunk was. You preferred his bunk the most. Many times now he’d even had the engines running to get you used to the sound. But never had the ship flown with you in it. That thought was now stopping you in your tracks.

Wrecker walked by you with the picnic you’d packed in hand as well as some other supplies, his eyes taking in the way you hesitated. “We can go home if this is too much too soon.” He spoke sweetly from the doorway. Inside Gonky could be heard saying something and walking around. Apparently, he needed to come with you.

“No.” The word left you quicker than you expected. You

Could do this. This was what you’d been building up to these past two months. You facing your fear would help Wrecker face his. “I want to do this. With you.” You watched as Wrecker smirked and vanished into the ship for a moment before returning to you. He proudly walked down the ramp, wrapped his arm around your waist, and kissed you deeply. Your head spun as you felt his pride for how brave you were being course through him and into you.

He could feel the little shakes your body was doing as the fear tried to take hold. He deepened the kiss while gripping you tightly, sure enough, your legs went weak and you stumbled slightly. A hum of approval left the large clone as he felt the shakes slow. “That’s right, that’s my good girl.”

Stars, Wrecker knew exactly what to say to distract your mind. You whined against him as his words of praise danced through your head making you forget why you were even so scared. You were his good girl, his brave girl. He’d shower you with all the praise in the galaxy if you did this. Something he always made sure to do after each time you stepped onto the ship. “L-let’s go.” The sooner you did this the sooner he’d say it again and that magnificent feeling would be coursing through your body once more.

Wrecker playfully tapped the tip of your nose and motioned for you to lead the way. “That’s my girl.” Your perfect eyes fluttered for a moment before stumbling up the ramp and into the ship. Yeah, he’d figured you out quickly. He’d said it by accident the third time you’d visited the ship and the way your eyes had fluttered and you’d stuttered slightly let him know that you enjoyed it. He’d made sure not to overuse it either, only when it came to facing your fear did he use it and damn did it work every time. Your shared sex life had been flared to life by the work you two were doing for one another. Something about the race of your hearts as you faced your respective fears just seemed to fire you both up.

He watched the way your hips swayed in that short dress of yours. Something black and red caught his eye for a moment before you disappeared into the ship. By the time he’d finished all the checks on the ship and returned to pick you up for your date, you’d already gotten dressed and packed your meal. Now he wondered what exactly was beneath the cute green with tan lace sundress you wore. Wrecker followed quickly behind you and into the cockpit of the Marauder. You nervously sat in one of the passenger seats behind the pilot's chair with your knee bouncing nervously. He stopped next to you and kissed your cheek sweetly before sinking into the pilot's seat.

Every nerve in your body was alive at the moment. You felt every bump, thump, and shift as the ship creaked and began its take-off procedures. The door seemed to hiss closed even louder than it had a few days ago and you watched it carefully. The ship hummed beneath your feet and you swore you could feel it all. Was this how Hunter felt? Did he experience everything the ship did more intensely than the others? Stars, if that was the case then you really felt bad for him.

“You’re doing great, my good girl.”

Oh, there were those words again. You looked towards him instead of at the door and found his hand reaching back to you. Leaning forward, you gripped the warm strong hand tightly and in one swift pull you were on your feet and staggering towards him. Oh, he wanted you next to him, a large lump formed in your throat, near the front of the ship. Your body tingled as the ship hummed louder, no doubt moments from leaving the safety of the ground. Shaky legs carried you to the copilot seat next to him here you took a long breath while staring out the window. Even just being in the cockpit made you feel like you were incredibly high up. The ground just below the ship was impossible to see thanks to the nose of the Marauder. All you could see was the island far below you. He asked a gentle ‘Ready’ while squeezing your hand once more and you felt your heart jump at the realization that you were seconds away from takeoff. “R-ready.”

He nodded to you and then you felt it. A long-forgotten feeling of a ship hovering over the ground. More emotions than you could count hit you all at once. Delight, excitement, nervousness, fear, and most surprisingly…longing. A surprising part of you had missed this feeling. The way the ship hummed all around you and swayed side to side as it prepared to dash into space. As a child you’d adored this feeling, knowing it meant you were off on another adventure. This feeling and the jump to hyperspace had been the feelings you’d adored as a child. It's why you’d loved being on a ship in the first place.

Wrecker's eye flickered to you for a moment as the ship hovered over the cobblestone courtyard. He took in every little detail on your face at that moment. The way your eyes went wide with a mix of worry and wonder, how you chewed your lip nervously, and how your hand was blindly reaching out for him while your eyes stayed locked on the windshield. A small beep left the console as the ship indicated you were now high enough away from the ground to continue. A part of him wanted to take this slow and build up to speed slowly but there was something in your eyes, something in them was telling him to punch it. It would be a gamble to do so. He’d either terrify you to the point where you wanted to go home or…

The ship took off like a rocket making a loud squeal of delight leave your lips. This! This feeling! The last time you’d felt this feeling was the day your parents died. Oh, how you’d forgotten this feeling! The adrenaline coursed through your veins as you shot through the sky, buildings, and scenery rushing past you in a blur while the amazing power of the ship pushed you into your seat.

The squeal made Wrecker smile as he shot away from Pabu and towards the island, you’d told him about. He’d hoped that this would be your reaction. That you’d allow that delight you’d felt as a child to return to you and replace the fear that gnawed at you. He wouldn’t leave the atmosphere, no you weren’t ready for that much yet. But this was a big step and a good start. His thick fingers tapped the console a few times turning on the autopilot before swiveling his seat to face you. With a gentle tug, you were pulled from your seat and the daze you were in and into his lap. Your legs straddled his while your perfect eyes stared into his one good eye. “I’m proud of you, my brave girl.”

You’d been so lost in the magnificent feeling of the ship racing through the skies of your homeworld that you hadn’t realized you’d been pulled into his lap until he spoke and said those special words. ‘Brave girl’ now those were the words that completely undid you. He only ever said them after you’d completed whatever part of the fear you were facing. Just like every time before it sent a shiver down your spine and a heat to your core. “Y-yes. I did it.” His large hand held your cheek gently as a thumb stroked the delicate skin beneath your eye.

He watched your eyes flutter before he leaned forward and kissed you proudly. “How are you feeling?”

“G-good. Nervous still.” That feeling was being overridden by the desire for him growing within you. But it was still there, waiting for just the wrong thing to happen to allow it to shoot to the forefront of your mind. All it would take was some turbulence or strong headwinds to knock you off balance and out of whatever bliss-filled headspace you were in.

“That’s okay. Can’t expect it to go away the first time. Maybe I should bring my good girl on more trips around the planet? Would you like that, sarad?” He stroked the side of your face gently with the back of his forefinger while he spoke. Admiring the way you put so much faith and trust into him.

“Yes.” If only to hear him call you his ‘good girl’ and his ‘brave girl’. Maybe there was some kind of psychological reason as to why you enjoyed being called a good girl but you didn’t care to find out. “Will you…” you chewed your lip and thought about your next words. His mind-spinning pet names for you had done a number on you. Them plus the adrenaline coursing through your veins had worked you up. “Let me ride in your lap next time?”

His other hand dropped to your hip and squeezed gently. “Why not right now? Since you’re already here?” Shifting in his seat, his growing bulge rubbed against the heat between your legs making a little mewl leave your lips. The scent of your perfume wafted through his nose, jasmine, and vanilla, as he buried his face into the crook of your neck. An airy breath left your lips while his danced across your skin. Your thighs tightened against his making him squirm beneath you, drawing yet another mewl from you. “Ya like that idea, don’t ya?” His lips dragged across the lobe of your ear. “Maybe next time” he whispered in a deep gruff voice. “You can have my cock in ya.”

“Fuck” The word had left you before you could even think, a dark chuckle leaving him as he nipped at your ear. The way he seemed to become a different man when it came to being on the ship with you was just so incredible. He became so dominating and demanding. You’d made love on all of his siblings' bunks first before even being in his. All because he’d demanded to see you come undone on each one. He wanted your scent everywhere to torture Hunter while making sure Echo and Crosshair could see their beds in a tangled mess and know that the two of you had been there. Wrecker adored his brothers, his Vod as he called them, more than most could say about their siblings. But when it came to you being on the ship with him? Stars, he became insatiable. You couldn’t get enough of it.

Wrecker dipped his hand beneath your dress and pressed it against your needy core. Even through the material of your swimsuit, he could feel your growing dampness. Your hips ground against his lap making him groan followed by another chuckle. “Now now, gotta make sure we get there safe.” A cute little needy whine left you as he spoke. “Don’t worry. You’ll have my cock in ya soon enough, sarad.” He’d make sure you did by the end of the day. He felt you shift in his lap preparing to get off of him. With a smirk, he wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you closer. “For now, how about you let me taste what you had for breakfast?”

Your cheeks heated up at his request. Wrecker's tongue in your mouth was right up there with his tongue against your clit. “Want me to tell you first?” You licked your lips in anticipation of his against them.

“Nah, I like guessing.” He pressed his lips against yours and was instantly granted access. A smirk crossed his lips as he continued to kiss you. Chocolate and strawberries. His favorite.

-*-

You felt the excitement building as you cleared the final step of the mountain and spotted the diving point you’d climbed up to. Over that edge was a sixty-foot drop into crystal clear lavender water. The large pool of water in front of you that fed the falls glowed in a soft purple hue. The smell alone was enough to calm you in a way you adored. Turning behind you, you smiled at the large clone carrying the picnic basket and blanket.

“You brought the rope and that ascender thing, right?” A smile rested on your lips as you watched Wrecker place the basket down and pull out said items. “Perfect, there’s a good tree to tie it to over here.”

Wrecker watched as you walked towards the edge of the waterfall and looked over carefully. Something inside him tightened as he watched you kick a small rock over the edge followed by a whistle of surprise. “You should back up.” Left his lips before he could stop it. He’d agreed to this. He told you he could do this and he would. But seeing you like that, so close to falling over. It didn’t sit well with him. It was one thing being on the stone wall of your courtyard overlooking the island. But this? This was unpredictable, unsafe. The ground beneath your feet could easily give way and you could topple over.

A small laugh left you as you backed away from the edge. “Don’t worry. I was just making sure nothing changed.” Smiling, you turned and looked at the big teddy bear behind you. Your smile dropped as you took in the worried look on his face. You could see that his mind was beginning to get away from him. “Hey.” Moving quickly, you returned to his side and took the rope from him, dropping it to the ground. “We don’t have to do this. We can just enjoy a nice picnic up here and wade in the water. The pool was shallow enough at one end that you wouldn’t be swept away by the current.

He felt your warm hands in his but his mind couldn’t seem to focus on your words. It was as if his mind had switched to protection mode and all he wanted to do was keep you close. It took you saying his name three more times for him to refocus. “W-what?”

“I said we didn’t have to do this…and that you’re squeezing my wrists a little too tight.” Instantly his hand released you and he took a step back. You could tell he was fighting those thoughts again. “Wrecker, my bear. Everything is ok, I am ok. You are ok.” You took a careful step towards him and slowly slid your hands back into his.

He wasn’t sure how you managed to always find a way to recenter him, but you did. “I’m sorry, goddess.” Carefully he lifted your hands and placed gentle kisses on each of your wrists. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. We knew this wouldn’t be easy.” A hum came from you as you felt his gentle lips against your skin. “Now, let’s eat some lunch.” Stepping forward you placed your chest against him and tilted your head up. “Relax in the water and you can admire my new bikini.”

Wrecker shivered at the feeling of your fingers moving under the back of his shirt and slowly up his spine. “N-new bikini?” He remembered the flash of black and red that he’d seen earlier. Something told him already that he’d enjoy how it looked.

With a smirk, you nodded and took a step back. “My aunt on Coruscant sent it. She said it’s the latest fashion.” Reaching up to your neck, you undid the knot on the top of your dress and allowed the green and cream material to slide down to the ground with the help of a little wiggle. Wrecker's eyes widened as he took in the swimsuit and you knew his mind was officially on you. “Do you like it?”

The black fabric shimmered with red crystals as you turned slowly for him. The fabric crisscrossed on the front and wound tightly around your neck before moving under your breasts where the bottom part showed a daring amount of skin. Two more strips of black fabric crossed from the top of your ribs, across the front, and down to your hips connecting with the bottoms that accentuated your ass beautifully. A shaky breath left Wrecker as he watched you bend over and pick up your dress. “L-love it.”

Looking over your shoulder, you smirked. “Good. Now.” Turning you walked to the picnic basket and placed your dress down before looking for the blanket. “I packed sandwiches and dessert. Which would you like first?”

There was only one dessert Wrecker wanted to have and it wasn’t whatever you had in the basket. He moved faster than he intended and was soon behind you. Slowly his hands snaked around your waist and he pulled you close. Memories of your make-out session on the Marauder an hour ago resurfaced and spurred him on.

“Oh.” You giggled as you stood and placed your back against his broad chest. “Or we can have dessert now and dessert later.” Reaching a hand up, you placed it against his cheek and pulled his face into the crook of your neck. “What would my big bear like?”

Stars, he wanted to rip this bikini off of you and take you now instead of later. Bury himself in your warmth and enjoy the safety and grounding that only you could give him. “Whatever you prefer, my goddess.”

A shiver ran down your spine and you fought the urge to give in to him. “Well we did climb up here to enjoy the lavender water, so let’s relax in this lovely pool with some wine and maybe..” with a final wiggle of your ass, you stepped away. “I’ll let you enjoy some desert in the water.”

“I…” Wrecker had always wanted to fuck in a pool like this. He was a simple man with simple desires. He watched as you took your boots off and moved towards the shallow end of the water and away from the waterfall. The waterfall that you’d planned your entire trip around. That he’d made a deal with you about. “I want to enjoy the falls.. as we planned.”

“What?” You turned and looked at your clone in surprise. Yes, you’d made a deal that you’d ride in the Marauder and he’d jump from the falls. But you had zero intention of holding him to it. “You don’t have to do that, Wrecker. We can build up to it. There’s no rush.” You could easily come back another day, especially if that meant riding in the Marauder with him inside of you like he wanted.

Wrecker shook his head as he bent down and picked up the rope. “I want to enjoy what you enjoy. If that means jumping from super high up and into the water below.” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “Then let’s do it.” A small smile crept on your face and that alone gave him the courage to go through with this. If you could ride in the Marauder for him then he could do this.

“Ok. I’ll go first and you follow me?” Quickly you packed everything back into the basket before grabbing the rope. “You can lower the basket to me once I’m down there?” Then you could enjoy your date at the base of the falls instead. Maybe screw under the falls themselves? It was a promising idea. You knew from experience that there was a small alcove behind the falls.

“No.” Wrecker helped you tie the rope to the large tree before tying the other end to the basket. “I-I’ll go first.” He removed his boots and pants quickly, trying to get the jump out of the way before he chickened out.

You cooed at him playfully before stepping over and placing your hand on his chest. “I know where to jump. Follow my lead.”

Wrecker grabbed your wrist and stopped you before you could head to the edge. “W-what if I chicken out?”

“You won’t.” With a smirk, you stepped back to him and stood on the tips of your toes. “Because I’ll be waiting for you at the bottom. Naked.” Placing a quick kiss on his stunned face, you turned and sprinted for the edge. With a happy squeal, you dove off the edge and into the waters below.

“Mesh’la!” Wrecker ran to the edge and looked down, terrified that he’d see your mangled corpse against the rocks.

A few moments went by before you finally broke through the surface, a large smile on your face. You adored the rush you got when cliff diving. Looking up, you waved to Wrecker who tentatively waved back. The worry and fear were easy to see on his face. Keeping your word you unclamped the top of your bathing suit and shimmied out of it. A happy smile rested on your lips as you held the piece of clothing up for him to see.

He didn’t need you to show him your bikini. The water was crystal clear and he could easily see your nude body wading in the deep water. The desire to have that against his skin overpowered the fear inside him. With a toss of the basket over the edge, Wrecker jumped as well.

A loud splash echoed around the waterfall as he made contact with the water, his large body causing the water to ripple and push you toward the edge. A giggle left you as you swam towards him. Even before his head broke through the surface, his arms were around your waist and pulling you into him. “Wrecker!” You gasped as he finally broke the surface and pulled you into a tight hug, his lips pressed firmly against yours. His kisses always made your head spin. With a hum of delight, you wrapped your arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. “I’m so proud of you.” Came as a whisper as your forehead rested against his. Below the water, one of his hands held your thigh tightly while the other helped you two wade.

Wrecker moved his head and buried it into the crook of your neck as you spoke to him. While you may have been proud of him, he had been terrified. Your fingers ran gentle circles at the base of his neck as he quietly sobbed into your skin.

You knew this had been a big step for him. Stars, the day itself had been big for the both of you. The fear of falling, the fear of being hurt or worse had been something you’d had to convince him would be ok. “Shhh, it’s ok. We’re ok. You did it.” You felt him shake slightly as a few scared sobs left him and you simply hummed as you continued to hold him. “I got you, Wrecker. I’m here.” You remembered the way his praise always made you feel. “I’m so proud of you, my big bear.”

While your words didn’t affect him the same way his did to you, they helped. Proud of him, yes, you were proud of him. He’d done it. He’d faced his fear and jumped sixty feet. Tech would be so proud of him. “I…I did it.”

“You did!” You allowed your happiness that he’d faced his fear overflow from you and into him. “Wait until you tell Omega. She’s going to be so excited.”

Omega would, wouldn’t she? “Maybe we can bring her next time.” The walk from the ship to the peak alone would be thrilling for the curious girl. Though it would mean you wouldn’t be able to ride on his cock the whole flight.

“Oh, she would love this place. Might have to forcibly drag her back to the ship.” You chuckled before wiggling from his grasp and heading towards the roaring wall of water. “Come, I wanna show you something.” You’d both done it. Faced your fears for one another. Now it was time to have fun.

Wrecker watched your nude form swim away from him and towards the falls. Yes, it was nice having you in his arms naked. But damn was he enjoying watching you swim away like this. “Coming, Sarad.” He swam after you with a small smile on his lips. The fear of what he’d just done was now gone from his mind. All he could think about was you. As he got closer to you you vanished behind the wall of water before sticking your hand through for him. He didn’t hesitate to take your perfect hand and allow himself to be pulled through.

What he saw on the other side amazed him. There was an alcove big enough for the two of you to fit in unlike any he’d ever seen. Instead of just stone, it was a mix of sweet-smelling green and purple algae and vines with small white and yellow flowers. Looking past you and deeper into the alcove he could make out something glistening in the stone walls, but from the angle he was at he couldn’t seem to tell what they were. Movement next to him drew his attention and he watched as you pulled yourself onto the ledge of the alcove before turning and sitting with your legs hanging in the water, a perfect smile rested on your lips as you beckoned for him to join you. It took him a moment to find a good grip to hoist himself out of the water, but once he was out he turned and sat next to you. “Wow.” That was all he was able to say as he looked at the cascading water. Rays of sunlight shone through the lavender water and bathed the area around the both of you in a purple hue. Turning to look around the alcove he realized that the item he’d seen glistening in the light was a gemstone in the wall. Now that he could look around better, he realized that there were multiple purple and white gemstones in the walls and ceiling. “This place is amazing.”

You were pleased that he was enjoying the private alcove. “Isn't it? Chai, Doll, and I found it the last time we were here.” It felt like a lifetime ago now. Chai was now off planet and Doll was…well you weren’t too sure what Doll was up to. You could have sworn you'd seen her and Crosshair kissing the other night before dinner. But she hadn’t said anything to you. You put the thought out of your mind as Wrecker's hand gripped your thigh. Right, you were completely naked while he still had his shirt and boxers on. A devilish smirk played on your lips as you turned to face him, your hand tugging at the leg of his boxers. “You know, I think you’d be much more comfortable without these on.” It was time to enjoy your date now. “And inside me instead.”

A shiver ran down Wrecker's spine as you stood up and moved deeper into the alcove. His eye followed you with interest as you moved behind him. He took in the sway of your hips and the curve of your ass with an increasing appetite. Wrecker felt the air leave his lungs as you turned to smile at him. Between the lavender hue of the alcove, the growing foliage around it, and the glistening gemstones, you looked ethereal. He opened his mouth to say something but found the words unable to leave him. Instead, he took on the appearance of a fish with his mouth opening and closing.

“Wrecker?” Why was he staring at you like that? It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen you naked before. You watched him stand up and stumble over to you, his mouth still opening and closing as he failed to speak. What was going on? His hands slid around your waist and pulled you close, the bulge in his boxers pressing between your legs.

“I’m sorry. You’re just…so beautiful.” Beautiful and breathtaking and amazing and wonderful and so many more words he wished he could find to describe how magnificent you looked in that moment. It took him a moment to find the word but he realized that for once, his pet name for you was entirely accurate. Right there, in that moment, you were a goddess to him. A goddess that was his. It seemed his words did something to you because you turned your face away from his with a slight blush on your cheeks. You whispered a cute ‘Wrecker’ as you did so making him realize that you didn’t truly understand how beautiful he found you. Wrecker raised his hand to your chin and tilted your head back to face his. “I mean it. I know I tell you all the time how beautiful you are. But it’s because of how true it is. I see you as the most beautiful woman, no, the most beautiful creature in existence. No gem or nebula could compare to how absolutely gorgeous you are to me, my goddess.”

Wrecker telling you how beautiful you were wasn’t a new thing. He told you nearly every day how stunning you looked and you loved it. You did. But something about the way he was saying it at this moment was making you feel tingly. Maybe it was because of the way he was saying it and looking at you. He continued to praise your beauty and pour out his heart to you while also rubbing your hip with his thumb. Something about this moment felt special. Why? Why did you feel so different this time compared to the others? You raised your arms from around his waist up to his shoulders where they draped over as he bent down to make it easier for you two to kiss. “Oh Wrecker.” You stroked his scarred cheek gently. “I think you're the most handsome man in existence. I feel… Stars I can’t describe how I feel when I’m with you. Or how you make me feel when you call me beautiful. But…oh Wrecker I love you so much.” It’s all that you could seem to say. It’s all that would come out. That must have been what that twinging, tickling, spinning feeling that was going on inside of you was. You were so madly and so undeniably in love with him. Yes, you’d already declared your love to him many times since he’d returned but something in this moment made you realize just how deeply in love with him you were.

“I’m so lucky to have you.” You, a woman who grew up countless light years away from him. Who experienced a completely different life than he had and who had never seen a day of battle. You’d gone through so much in your life and yet here you were, in his arms telling him how much you loved him. Never had he thought he’d experience this level of love. Never had he thought he’d have someone in his life who looked at him the way you did. With so much love and adoration it was making him feel tingly all over. He didn’t wait for you to say anything back, instead he tilted his head down and kissed your soft lips deeply.

This kiss felt so different from any other time you’d kissed before. This one felt deeper, and more important than any other kiss. His hand snaked around the back of your neck and into the base of your scalp, his fingers threading through your hair and holding you close. His tongue ran across your bottom lip asking sweetly for entrance into your mouth and you felt your head swim as the tip of it lapped at your tongue. Thick fingers pulled your head back slightly as his tongue delved deeper into your mouth suppressing the moan that left you. His hand that rested on your hip tightened slightly and you felt those rough digits dimple your skin. “W-wrecker.” You gasped his name quietly while breaking for air and taking in the way he was now staring at you. That adorable brown eye was wide and lust-filled. You took a moment to try and imagine what he’d look like with two good eyes and found that you didn’t like the image. Somehow that wasn’t your Wrecker. This was your Wrecker. One good eye, one bad, and a scar on the same side as the bad eye. Perfect in every way to you. You sighed softly as you stroked the scar with gentle fingers. “Make love to me?”

He savored the way you were staring at him, lost in whatever thoughts were going through your mind. His head tilted into the dull touch of your hand, the full feeling lost to that side of his face a few years prior. He’d tell you about it one day. How he lost his sight in that eye and got his scar. But for now, he just wanted to savor you. “Today, tomorrow, and for however much longer you’ll have me, Sarad.” He sighed as rough lips pressed against the soothing smoothness of yours, the hand in your hair loosened slightly before releasing it all together. “Here.” He pulled away from you while reaching down and grabbing the hem of his shirt. It came off in one swift movement before he balled it up and placed it on the ground near the wall with the most gemstones in it. The shirt was soaked but it would be somewhat comfortable for you to lay on while he rewarded you for your bravery that day. “Lay down for me?”

Your heart soared with the sweet words he was speaking to you. “You can have me until I draw my last breath, Wrecker. I’m forever yours.” The declaration of your eternal love for him came as a surprise to you. Never had you thought you’d be able to love someone as deeply as you loved him. He smiled that adorable crooked smile for you while scooping you into his arms. Carefully he spun you before kneeling and placing you on the ground, his hand cradling your head while positioning it over the wet shirt. You sighed softly watching him kneel next to you with nothing but his tented boxers on. You chewed your lip at the sight of the material, craving the feeling of the length beneath it inside of you. “Please, Wrecker.” You spoke with an airy needy breath. “I need to feel you.”

Who was he to deny you when you spoke that way to him? “Together forever.”

It was so silly but the way he said it made it sound like a marriage proposal. It wasn’t silly to think that you may marry him someday, but silly to think that you’d only known him for a little over half a standard year, and yet you were ready for that eventuality. You’d never believe in love at first sight or that feeling of looking at someone and knowing right away that they were the one you wanted to spend forever with. But when you thought about the first time you saw your beloved clone, you realized that your heart had skipped a beat when you made eye contact. Was that what that feeling had been? Love at first sight? You watched as Wrecker moved around between your legs and placed his hands on your knees. A year ago you wouldn’t have even thought of allowing a man to look at your most intimate places like this. Now, you shamelessly allowed your legs to fall open so he could see your glistening needy heat. He licked his lips at the sight making you let out a needy moan. “Please.” You gasped as his rough hand slid down your leg and across the delicate skin of your inner thigh.

“Of course, riduur.” Leaning forward, he ran his nose across your needy bud eliciting a little cry from your lips. Your hand was instantly on the back of his head, stroking it carefully as he continued to tease you. “So needy.”

His hot breath wafted across your core and soon you were keening his name loudly. The sound echoing around you and mixing with the roar of the falls. His tongue lapped and twirled around your bud making you see stars. “W-wrecker! Fuck!” He was too damn good at this. It was so unfair how he could make you see heaven itself with only a few strokes of his tongue. A deep chuckle left him before he pressed into your heat and you felt his teeth scrap very carefully against the sensitive bundle of nerves. Just that much was enough to push you close to your edge, his tongue dipped into you and soon you were screaming his name as your first, albeit small, orgasm washed over you. Little pants of pleasure left your lips as he continued to work you through your little orgasm. “M-more. Need you.” Wrecker chuckled while licking your release from his lips and sitting back on his heels. After a moment of admiring your soaking sex, he stood. You took it as your chance to return the pleasure.

Before he could pull his boxer off completely, you were on your knees and pulling his hard length into your mouth. “Kriff, Sarad.” He’d never openly tell you how much he loved your height difference. How when you were on your knees you came to the perfect height to take his cock easily into your mouth. The sight always turned him on even more than he already was. The two of you were truly designed to fit with one another. His hand threaded through your hair once more and he helped to set a slow pace on his cock, your tongue rubbing against the underside of him as your head lived back and forth. How you managed to fit his hefty size into that sexy little mouth of yours would always amaze him. But you did. “Such a good girl taking all of my cock like that.” You whined softly around his cock making him let out a long sigh. “Kriff, it feels good when you do that.”

You moaned around him once more and felt his cock twitch in your mouth. It was an odd sensation in your mouth and a struggle to take all of him but you did it. It had taken a few times to get as comfortable as you were with it between your lips but now you could say you were very comfortable with it. Your hand wrapped around the still visible base of his cock and you began to carefully pump it in time with your head bobs. Wrecker sighed and groaned against your touch making you grin. With a loud pop, you pulled yourself from him and stared up with your mouth hanging open.

Fuck, you looked unbelievably sexy in that moment. Your hair disheveled from his hand being in it, your mouth hanging open and your breasts on full display for him. A part of him wanted you to continue sucking him and using your hand so that he could cover that chest of yours in his seed. But the darker primal side of him just wanted to finally be inside you and screw you into the dirt. He’d coat your chest in cum later. Perhaps while you flew back to Pabu? Surely you could make it work. “Fuck that mouth of yours is amazing.” He finished pulling his boxers off from around his ankles before falling to his knees with a huff. “But there’s somewhere else I’d rather be.”

“Then what are you waiting for, my love?” You curled your forefinger beneath his chin as you slowly fell back, pulling him with you. His hand shot out and cradled the back of your head as the two of you fell into the dirt, his body caging you protectively. “Hello, handsome” you cooed softly before pressing your lips against his with a sigh. A low growl left the bear of a man kissing you before you felt his hand against your needy core. “Mmmm, fuck me, Wrecker.” His fingers danced playfully against your pearl, you needed him inside you already. Between the earlier teasing on the ship and then his lips just a few moments ago you were in desperate need of him inside of you.

“So demanding.” What would he do with you? Wrecker returned to kissing you as his hand caressed your wet core and gathered some of your release which was then rubbed against his cock. He slid the tip across your opening and with a simple grunt, he was burying himself into your warmth. Your shared pants mixed with the sound of the cascade water as Wrecker carefully worked you open, your pussy fluttering around his cock with each thrust he did. Pulling him deeper and deeper into you. Each thrust drew out a long pant of his name into his neck from you, your warm body holding him tightly. You were so wet and eager for him.

Your hand wrapped around his torso and held him close as he buried himself to the hilt within you, his balls resting against your ass. Rough lips peppered kisses against your jaw as he allowed you a moment to adjust to his superior size. It was only a moment but it felt like minutes as you waited for him to move but when he did you were instantly seeing stars. The curve of his length allowed him to perfectly hit your most sensitive spot and you knew from experience you wouldn’t last long, not in this position and not after so much buildup throughout the day. Your body arched off the ground and pressed against his as your nails gripped deeper and deeper into his back. A hiss came from him at the feeling but he didn’t relent as he continued to thrust into you. Once, twice, three times and you were howling his name like a sexed-out slave girl. “Kriff, yes. Right there! Fuck!”

You continued to cry out as Wrecker felt himself drawing close to his release. Your earlier work on his cock having gotten him close already. He buried his face into your neck while sliding his arm around your back and holding you close. Using his impressive strength, he pulled you into his lap as he fell back into a kneeling position. Now you were slightly above him and he savored the difference for now he could suck and lick your nipples with ease while also enjoying the way your face contorted in bliss. The new position allowed him a deeper reach into you and within four thrusts you were squeezing him. He knew that sign by now, you were close and all it would take is the right words to have you coming undone on his cock which would in turn have him spilling into you. Wrecker looked up at you with dark eyes as his tongue swirled your left nipple expertly. He sucked and swirled the pebbled bud for a few fleeting moments before nipping at the delicate skin around it. Your breasts were by far his favorite part of you to have in his mouth. There was something so mind-blowingly erotic about them that made him just want to have them in his mouth. He sucked a mark against your skin before pulling back and forcing you to look into his eye. With a deeper gruff than you’d ever heard from him, he spoke. “Be a good girl and cum on my dick.”

It was just what you needed to hear and after a single hard thrust, you were coming. Your orgasm raced across your eyes in a blinding light of ecstasy and euphoria as your clone gripped your sides and continued to impale you. His pacing was hard and fast as he chased his release within you. You were sore and tired but you allowed him to use you as his toy for a few more minutes until he was spilling over within you. The feeling of him filling you with his cum would never stop feeling wonderful for you. Nor would the grunting groaning sounds he’d make while leaning his head into the crook of your neck. You stormed the back of his head gently as he emptied himself within the warmth of your body, the fullness almost too much for you to bear. Almost. He’d come twice inside of you a week prior and that was a fullness that had incapacitated you. This, while still filling, was nothing compared to that day. “So good.” You whispered as you leaned down and kissed him. The high you’d been on was beginning to dissipate and exhaustion was beginning to pull at you.

Wreckers arms held you close to him as the two of you began to come down from your post-orgasm highs. It was always amazing when it came to screwing you. He could hear the exhaustion in your voice as you continued to praise him. Any other time he’d pull himself from you and lay you down. But not this time, for some primal reason he wanted to stay buried within you, his softening cock acting as a plug for his seed. Sure he couldn't actually breed you right now, not with the birth control you were on, plus the fact he was sure Nala Se had mentioned something about them being unable to reproduce. But the urge to keep it all within you was still powerful. Not to mention the intense closeness he felt with you when the two of you were like this. He felt your forehead press against his and the two of you shared a long sigh. This was bliss. His little piece of paradise was here with you.

The two of you sat that way for nearly ten minutes before he finally removed himself from your warmth. The moment he did so his sizable release was making its way out of your body and coating your thighs. The sight made him lick his lips. “Would you like to eat lunch first before you fuck me into the dirt?” You were surprisingly hungry.

The clone laughed brightly as he scooped you into his arms and began to walk towards the edge of the alcove. “I figured we’d eat quickly then I’d fuck you beneath these falls. Eat some more then have you ride my cock while we flew back home.” He placed you down near the edge and watched as droplets of water began to coat your skin.

A shiver ran down your spine at the thought of two more rounds with him before the day was out. Maybe even a fourth depending on how you were feeling when you got home. Would you be terribly sore for the next week? Stars, yes. But Kriff, would it be worth it. “Maybe we should start with dessert first then?” Who needed to eat when you had a man as muscular and sexy as Wrecker in front of you?” He chuckled with a deep bass and your thighs clenched. Oh yeah. There was no way you two were even close to being done with one another.

He pulled you into a deep kiss, swallowing the needy whine that came from you. “My poor insatiable riddur. What will I do with you?”

There was that new word again. He hadn’t called you that before. Looking up at him, a hand resting on his chest as his cum ran down your leg, you spoke. “What does that mean? Riduur?”

Oh, he’d called you that, hadn’t he? “It means…partner or girlfriend.” A lie, one of the only ones he’d ever tell you. But he hadn’t meant to slip up and call you that, not yet at least.

“Is it the same back to you? Can I call you my Riduur as well?” You’d been meaning to learn mando’a. Chai had found a droid on the island who spoke thousands of languages, Mando’a being one of them. You just hadn’t had the time to start learning. All you knew was from Wrecker and his siblings.

His cheeks flared as you spoke his language. “P-please.”

Oh, he was adorable when he got like this. If this would make him blush then you’d call him it all the time. With a happy smile, you brushed your lips against his. “You’re my riduur, Wrecker.” He smiled and kissed you once more.

-*-

Later that night, in the safety and warmth of your shared home, you tucked Omega into her bed. Her room had been fully decorated with her stuff from the Marauder as well as newer decorations. Fairy lights strung over her bed doused the area in a rainbow glow of colors while a slowly forming pile of stuffed animals and dolls took over a small section of her bed. You recounted a small amount of the day's activities to her and how brave her brother had been to jump off the falls while she recounted what happened at school.

“Omega? Do you know what ‘Riduur’ means?” You’d been running the brush through her growing blonde locs when the thought came to you to ask her. From what you knew, her understanding of the language wasn’t as advanced as the guys were, so you’d simply wanted to see what she knew.

Omega tapped at her datapad as she finished a homework assignment. “Oh, that one is a nice one. It means Husband or wife. Depends on who’s saying it to who.” She paused for a moment. “Why? Did Wrecker call you that?”

Husband or Wife? He’d called you his wife. That intense tingling feeling coursed through your body once more. Why had he lied about it? Was he embarrassed? Had he not meant to call you it? No, he’d said it twice and even asked that you call him whenever you wanted to. That meant he wanted to hear you call him ‘husband’.

‘ Together Forever’

It hadn’t been a marriage proposal, but a special promise between the two of you. A smile played on your lips as you silently spoke the word with a better understanding. You weren’t married yet and probably wouldn’t be for a while. But you were his forever. You’d tell him in a few days that you knew the real meaning. For now, though, you’d enjoy calling him your husband.

“Stitches?” Omega looked over her shoulder at you.

“S-sorry. Was thinking about something.” You shook your head and focused back on the girl. “What was your question?”

Omega raised an eyebrow at you. “I asked if Wrecker called you his riduur?”

“Oh goodness no.” A lie, but she was too young to understand the complicated relationship of an adult. “Just saw it in some research articles I was reading. Been thinking of learning mando’a.”

Oh. “I can help you! Wrecker said he really likes it when you speak a little bit you know!”

You smiled and accepted her offer. When she mentioned him enjoying you speaking the language you simply laughed while trying to hide your blush. “That he does, Omega. That he does.”

Tag List:

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[acaplaya-musings]

Classical Chaos - thoughts and commentary

Okay, so as I said in the post before the Premiere debut, this list of thoughts is made after watching the early access release video on Patreon (except for this beginning bit, which I'm typing up beforehand). There's a chance that the public release might have a couple of edits, maybe some additions or alterations, and so if so, I might mention those in a reblog, but basically I couldn't pass up the opportunity to actually have a post scheduled and ready to go quickly after the Premiere (instead of multiple hours later, due to y'know, timezones and stuff).

So yeah, I watched In The Hall Of The Mountain King for the first time like 8ish hours ago (though by the time you're reading this, I've seen it a few more times, plus a few reaction videos and my Voiceplay Visuals post of course), and now I'm as prepared as I can be to watch this! Oh and here's the thing: because I'm watching from an early access release, I don't yet have all the credits info for it, though I'm guessing a lot of it is same as ITHOTMK? So like Layne having done the arrangement, Nick Underwood and Renette Feren having done the makeup/prosthetics, that sort of thing. Hell, I don't even know the proper title! The "working title" for it on Patreon right now is "Classical Hell" (amazing). One of the tags on the post is "Bach", but I don't actually know what the specific piece will be, and to be fair, even if I recognise it, there's a very slim chance that I'd even recognise it at all anyway (ADDITION FROM FUTURE ME: yes, the public video description has a list of the classical pieces used, but the Patreon early access video has no such thing, so this arrangement really was a complete surprise for me).

But enough beating around the bush, time to watch this so I can list my thoughts! (Put below the cut because I've rambled enough already)

Okay, starting off with Grundel!Eli looking at a spellbook? (Yeah they're playing creatures named "Grundels" apparently) I gotta say I am very much HERE for the Sorcerer!Eli validation

I was planning on just putting all my thoughts here after finishing the video, but brain went "nope, type them as you go so you don't forget!"

Hang on have their character designs changed a teeny bit? Grundel!Layne's horns are green now, not orange? (Also Geoff looks more blue but idk I could be wrong)

(Maybe I'll find out when I watch the BTS - maybe they didn't still have all the right costume bits and had to find new stuff, idk)

Wait is this a classical music medley? It's honestly gonna be so funny if I was technically half-right in my prediction 😂

Holy goddamn Rachel looks amazing. Giving me Elvira vibes ngl

Okay yeah Cesar's face definitely looks more "normal" here compared to Mountain King, big ears and red face paint notwithstanding (actually it might at least partially be because he's currently beardless)

First of all, even with the ridiculous getup, Geoff's subharmonics are absolutely chefs kiss. Second of all, the sudden unexpected switch from Geoff with the spellbook to Layne with the spellbook, and accompanying tone shift is totally reminding me of the Little Mermaid Medley, which is double funny because Geoff was blue in that one too! 😆

Also omg I just realised Layne is "singing" the Blue Danube, which is hilarious because well, see the above point

(And it totally is a medley! Layne! How the hell did you come up with this? (and I'm counting this as a half win in predictions btw))

Oh and btw I gotta give a shoutout to the fire in the video that operates in the same way the cauldron did in Mountain King - it glows in the colour of whoever is taking lead (so like blue for Geoff, orange for Layne, etc)

WILHELM SCREAM! YES! It always makes me so happy when I hear it included somewhere, it's always hilarious

(Also I'm only halfway into this video my god)

Ooh Fur Elise! Also was that Toccata and Fugue or something like that way at the start? (Geoff used both in his Monster Mash cover)

Omg Cesar pulling an Ursula and stealing the others' voices I CAN'T 🤣

VoicePlay how dare you make me love this video so much! 😅😂

Aaaaaaa Thus Spake Zarathustra! (I was thinking earlier this afternoon about what classical pieces I know that might get used in this, and I ended up looking up the name of this one because it was on the tip of my tongue)

I stg if they somehow work Chopsticks into this I'm gonna freaking lose it.

Omg the Can-Can! Or whatever its proper/original title is! (ooh maybe they might also do William Tell Overture?)

AAAAAAAA the callback to Mountain King! (Also what in the literal hell are the guys chanting?)

(Also my god these special effects are off-the-walls INSANE)

Okay WOW. I was not expecting to enjoy that so much! That was a wild ride, and I genuinely do wanna watch this again. And the arrangement is a jam? Like damn go off y'all!

ADDITION FROM FUTURE ME: So when I was watching this video I was like "omg I need to do a Voiceplay Visuals post for this", which meant I had to do a V.V. for Mountain King first, which I've just finished making as I'm typing this bit. I'm waiting till the public release of the video to make a V.V. post for this one, just in case there are any visual tweaks/additions/alterations made (and also YouTube allows for frame-by-frame scrubbing, whereas Patreon does not). But here's the thing: this video is 5 minutes long without credits, and there's a lot that happens in the video. Tumblr's image limit for a single post, however, is 30 - that's only 6 images per minute of video! So I think I might have to do a two-part Voiceplay Visuals, like I did for the Boy Band Medley. Either I make them two separate posts, or I just stick the second part on the first part via a reblog, idk. That probably won't be coming for a day or two anyway, but until then, seeya later!

[fearthetallman]

Krang Pie Final Chapter

Warnings: mentions of torture, Bishop being a jerk, alien possession, battle, intense gore, unhygienic and amateur surgery

[first][previous]

Chapter 11

Leo regretted not leaving behind an explanation for his dad and best friend but he had other priorities to worry about. He sighed heavily, looking at the giant building before him. Time to go talk to one of his least favorite humans in the entire world. Opening up a portal, he stepped inside, reappearing in a fancy and well-furnished office, the leather chair turned around. He walked up to the desk with no hesitation.

“We need to talk.” He told the back of the chair. The click of guns taking their safety off echoed all around him, more than a dozen red dots pointed at him.

The chair finally swiveled around, revealing a tall and lean man, sunglasses on despite the lack of any sunlight. “Hello, Leonardo. Such a pleasant welcome to see you again. Did you change your mind about you and your brothers giving up their bodies for science?”

“Hardly, Bishop.” He snapped, leaning closer despite the way the guns were aimed and ready. “I need to ask you something confidential.”

The man made a slight wave of his hand and the guns were relaxed, the room emptying. “What is it you need? It had better be good, I have a meeting with the president in ten minutes. He’s not a fan of mutants. Thinks you smell stinky.”

Leo ignored the prodding and immature insults, not in the mood for games. “Somehow a krang got back on earth. I need to know for sure that the key to the prison dimension is somewhere the krang can never access.”

Bishop sighed. “Doubting me already? I have the most high-tech security system of anyone in this century. To insinuate anyone could sneak past our defenses is laughable.”

“I got in pretty easy.” Leo reminded the man, irritation lacing his voice.

Bishop turned around a laptop, revealing a video of the turtle outside the building, just a few minutes prior. “That’s because I let you in.”

Leo grumbled, crossing his arms. “Whatever. Just show me the key so I can make sure it’s safe.”

***

The krang hiding in Mikey listened to Leo’s conversation with great interest. Such a shame the turtle hadn’t checked his medical pack for the microphone and tracking device placed on it. As much as he hated that purple one, he certainly had made things easier. The krang listened closely, already mapping the building as they walked through it.

He stuck to the shadows, staying in alleyways and avoiding the light when possible. He really should have chosen a human to infect instead of these mutant freaks that the population was so afraid of. But beggars couldn’t be choosers.

It was still a bit difficult to control this body. So many different working parts. It had been quite a while since he’d done this as well, the carnivorous plant take-over a distant memory. But he had a long way to walk. Quite a while to get good at it. He wondered how he was going to torture that accursed blue turtle next. Maybe he would make this turtle body eat him. The thought put a smile on his face.

***

Leo and Bishop descended a myriad of stairs, passing multiple locks, DNA tests and passwords that made the process extra long and annoying. Around the 12 consecutive DNA test, Leo was more than a little testy.

“Are we almost there? I have to get back to my family soon.” He didn’t add his silent worry that he hoped he’d still have a family to get back to.

“Patience, my beloved mutant. Patience.”

Ten minutes later, and they were in a sealed off area deep within the belly of the building. It was a very confined space with large glass windows that loomed around the walls. There was large machinery on the ceiling with metal arms that made this place look more like a torture chamber than a safe. The large medical berth covered in dark stains didn’t help either.

But there in the center on a pedestal was the prison dimension key, just as ominous as the day he’d had to use it. Leo knocked on one of the windows experimentally. “And you’re sure this thing will hold?”

“Positive.” Bishop gave a lazy smile as he leaned against the door frame, his unnerving robotic eye peeking from behind the sunglasses. “Nothing gets in here and nothing gets out.”

Leo raised a brow. “Not even with my portals?”

“Once the area is locked, not even mystic weaponry can escape.” He shrugged. “I have the krang technology to thank for that.”

Leo nodded solemnly, face still devoid of any lightheartedness in the presence of this scientist cyborg. This was part of the reason he didn’t want to trust Bishop. The man openly admitted he had means to immobilize his brothers with that grin on his face. But he had no choice. Leo walked over to the key, the unnerving face on it staring back at him. Safe, for now.

Bishop walked out, giving a half-hearted wave of his hand as he left the door open. “Stay as long as you like. Just make sure to lock the door when you leave. Don’t want to bring in a draft.”

Leo sighed, looking at the key. He may have messed it up once before, but there was no way he was letting the krang get ahold of it again.

No sooner had the thought cross his mind did something slam into his chest, knocking him to the ground. He landed hard on his shoulder, gasping for air, lungs struggling to hold any.

Michelangelo stood above him, mouth stretched in a mockery of a smile, tentacles peeking from his teeth as the krang didn’t bother to hide its presence anymore. “So nice of you to do all of the work for me, earthling.”

“No…” Leo protested weakly, propping himself up on his elbows but unable to move any more than that.

The mutant stepped closer, a greedy glee in his gait. He reached over to the key, laughing as he did. He loved these stupid, gullible earthlings. Instead of meeting solid material, however, it wavered when his hands touched it, meeting air.

“What?” He swiped his fingers through it. The image wavered before disappearing.

Leo finally stood up, backing away with a cocky grin. “The good old feeding false information through the tracker bit. I’ve been using that one on Donnie for years. Now we’re going to rip that little parasite right out of you, mi hermano!”

The creature screeched, tentacles erupting from his mouth, ready to fight. Leo grabbed at the door handle to get back to safety. But it didn’t open. Leo slammed his fist on the door. “We had a deal, Bishop! I bring the krang and you extract it for your stupid little experiments.”

Bishop appeared, safely behind one of the glass panels. “Yes, well. Little detail in the fine print. I never said I would get you out of there.”

Panic started to bubble in Leo’s stomach and he hit the door as desperately as he could. An electric shock soon stopped him, letting out a cry of pain as he stumbled back. Blue electricity lit around the room, giving an eerie glow.

“Away from the walls, please. I hate cleaning blood off of them.” Bishop chuckled.

“You two faced lying cyberman reject!” Leo yelled at him. “I never should have trusted you!”

He didn’t have long to worry about it, however, as Michelangelo launched himself at the red slider turtle, making him jump to avoid attack.

“You seem like you have your hands full, Leonardo. Might want to keep an eye on him.”

The mutant hybrid hissed, body jerking around but much more collected and aggressive than before. It swiped at Leo with its hands, each strike holding enough force to crack a skull. Leo dodged, backing up. He tried opening a portal with his sword. Nothing happened. Freaking Bishop.

Leo jumped atop the pedestal, trying to buy some time to think. “How am I supposed to get the krang out of him? You promised me you could take it out.”

“Oh I did.” Bishop agreed. “And you do have a surgeon in there. One of the best swordsmen in all of New York.”

Leo’s stomach sank as he looked down at his own two swords. Bishop wasn’t just unhinged, he was downright sadistic. Something grabbed Leo’s ankle and he was yanked down. His face slammed into the metal floor, stars dancing in his vision. He shook it off, slicing sideways and cutting off the offending tentacle.

The monster screeched, appendage writhing on the ground before falling still. The krang didn’t have enough energy to split apart anymore. Standing back up, Leo wiped blood away from his eyes, adrenaline simmering through his veins. They circled each other for a moment, each sizing the other up.

Then, as though a bell had been rung, they both dashed into an attack.

The creature threw a flurry of punches, each one blocked by Leo’s arm. It moved with incredible force but still jilted like an infested puppet.

“I bet you’re mad you didn’t get Raph, aren’t you?” Leo taunted as he deflected another blow. “Fistfights were never Mikey’s thing.”

It screeched, spittle splattering across Leo’s face. He grabbed its arm, throwing it over his shoulder. Before he could pin it, however, his legs were knocked out from under him. It pounced on him, fingernails digging into his skin. He barely felt them, throwing his weight so he rolled on top of it. It writhed, bucking and throwing him off.

It was only a second before it lunged at him again. He brought his swords up, handles deflecting the blow. Inside its mouth, a tentacle lashed out, cutting his cheek and only narrowly missing his eye. That brought very uncomfortable parallels he’d rather not think of right now.

He kneed the creature in the side. Instead of taking it in stride, it fell over, clutching its side and moaning in pain. Lights clicked on in Leo’s brain.

“Bishop!” Leo called out, not even wondering if said man was still here. “Where is his stomach?”

Sure enough, his voice did come a second later, Bishop frowning behind the glass. “I dunno. What am I, a doctor? Probably in his middle somewhere. Duh.”

Leo was starting to wish he’d trapped Bishop in here with him. “Tell me specifically where his stomach is. The organ! I need to try something. Just look it up on one of your scanner thingies please!”

The krang was starting to recover. Bishop sighed. “The things I do for possible scientific dissection.”

The creature hissed, standing up. Leo’s heart jumped in his throat. “Bishop! Hurry!”

“Fine, fine. I’m doing it. I hate Gen Z, you’re all so impatient.” Bishop grumbled with all the enthusiasm of a 13-year-old brushing their teeth. “Ehhh it’s on the right, below his heart.”

Leo knew what he had to do. He stood up, the creature watching him as it braced itself for another attack. His swords clattered onto the ground. Weaponless, he held out his arms. “Mikey, I just want to let you know, that I don’t want to hurt you.”

The creature paused but then charged at him. Without hesitation, Leo redirected the attack, slamming his brother into the ground.

“But I will if I have to.” He finished.

It squirmed, struggling under the weight that had it pinned down. It wouldn’t be able to beat Leo in just a test of strength like this. The tentacles retracted from the mouth, allowing it to speak easier and use his brother's voice. “Do you want to know what your precious little brother thought of you?”

The creature reached back, clawing Leo’s arm. His grip loosened and it wriggled away, landing a hit on his stomach as if for revenge.

“He thought you were weak! Pathetic!” The monstrosity snarled. “Some sniveling shell of yourself that needed to be coddled because of how useless you are now.”

It threw another hit, one Leo reacted to slower than before. He stumbled back. “You don’t know anything about him.”

Its face split into a malicious grin. “Oh but I do. We spent so many hours together. Him and I, working on becoming just like the mighty krang!”

Leo tried to reach for its face but it easily evaded, forcing Leo to back up even more. “Mikey. Just listen to me for a moment, okay?”

It screeched, mouth open so wide that Michelangelo’s lips bled. “Your brother is gone! Your attempts to ‘reach him’ are pathetic drivel!”

Leo nearly tripped, backing into a long black slab, some mockery of a hospital bed in a torture room. He was backed into a corner. He took a shaky breath. “I know you were just trying to help. I’m not mad at you.”

The creature showed no hint of what it once was. It picked up one of Leo’s swords. He didn’t try to run. The sword raised high above the creature’s head.

Before it could swing down, however, Leo reached up and shifted its mask.

The blindness couldn’t have lasted longer than a second but that was all he needed. He knocked the sword away. Once off balance, he grabbed the mutant’s arm, swinging it over onto the slab. He untied the mask.

“What do you think you’re doing, you miserable wretch?” It snarled, moving to get up before Leo slammed it down again.

He took the bandana and bound its hands, tying it to the berth. It writhed and kicked but Leo merely reached for his sword, using his weight to keep his brother from moving away.

“I’m not giving up on you Mikey!” The krang had infested Mikey’s stomach, his very inner lining. Bishop had already told him the only way to get the krang out was to cut it out in its nesting space. He raised the sword.

“No! Have you gone mad?!” It almost sounded terrified.

Leo pressed on, plunging the sword onto his brother’s shelled stomach, pressing hard to get past the plastron. Blood gushed out, a small line at first and then a pool flooding out. The creature screamed, a sound so human it was hard to believe it was an alien.

“I never needed someone who could fix me.” He continued explaining, blade cutting through the flesh and fluids, a sickly squelching sound. Something bulged amid the gore, something beyond the gushing blood. He sliced it open. The krang burst through, a pink blob with eyes and teeth, more nerves attached than its larger counterpart. It cried out, trying to hide amidst the organs. “Because no matter what happens and no matter how badly you screw up…”

His sword was too bulky and he couldn’t risk cutting Mikey up anymore. He dropped it, clattering to the ground and painting the floor in more red. He plunged his hand into the mess, biting his tongue to try and fight back the bile. “I’m never going to abandon you! You’re my brother and no matter how many times you push me or struggle to be the person you used to be, I am never giving up on you. That was all I needed from you!”

His wrist was swallowed by the blood and organs, taut intestines entangling his hand as he pushed past them. But his fingers found purchase, the writhing creature caught in his grip. He pulled as hard as he could, strings of flesh and nerves ripping apart. Both Mikey and the creature screamed in agony. It didn’t give easy. But the parasite finally separated from his brother.

Leo fell backwards with it, breathing heavily as the creature bit and slapped at him in vain. He took only a moment to make sure he wouldn’t vomit before he addressed the audience who had watched the violent debacle. “Bishop. You had better patch up my brother and make sure he lives or else I’m going to get rid of your precious krang specimen.”

***

Mikey was in pain. That was one of the first things he was aware of, even before he was aware of himself. Not just the sharp burning in his abdomen but also the dull ache in his head, his arms, his everywhere. He struggled against the weight of sleep, fighting every step of the way to just open his eyes. His vision was a little too white and blinding, so he blinked a few times to get used to it. Leo’s face was full of worry and nervousness, his smile strained at the edges.

“Hey. How you feeling, Mikey?”

It only took him a few seconds to remember everything. To remember how he’d endangered everyone by trying to handle the krang himself.

“Leo.” Hot tears filled his eyes and he sat up on the bed, ignoring the screaming pain. “Leo, I’m so sorry.”

He held open his arms and they were in a hug instantly. Leo gave his younger brother a gentle squeeze, making sure to be careful with his injuries.

“I forgive you, Mikey. I meant what I said earlier.”

In some kinder universe he wouldn’t have been aware of the damage he had caused once the krang took over. But not here. Every agonizing second and sensation of hurting his family was catalogued in his memory. He held tight to Leo, sobs barely contained.

“Come on. Let’s get you home, big man.”

Mikey was thankfully still able to walk, although he was so weak he had to lean heavily against his brother.

Bishop waved them off as they left. “Pleasure doing business with you boys.”

Leo scoffed but otherwise let it go. Mikey kept his free arm firmly around his sides.

“My stomach still hurts so bad.” He hated how he sounded like he was whiny and ungrateful. But he couldn’t stand the thought of keeping anymore secrets, even a small one like how much pain he was in.

“I know, Miguel. It’s probably going to hurt for a long while.” There was sympathy in the slider’s eyes but still a soft smile on his face. “Bishop has the most advanced medicine he could steal. Considering what happened in there, you should probably be dead.”

Guilt settled on Mikey like a blanket, suffocating but also familiar. Leo picked up on the tension he unintentionally created and gentled bumped his younger brother with his arm.

“But I’m glad you’re not.” He finished.

“I’m sorry Leo. For making this whole mess. I thought I was protecting you.” His chest still burned from all the memories. He tried to distract himself from all the emotion he was feeling by asking a niggling question he’d had. “Did you really just give him that krang? I mean, I wasn’t really all that attached—” He watched Leo struggle not to make a joke “…I don’t care what happens to it, but I don’t want to help Bishop any more than I have to.”

His older brother grinned. “Don’t worry. Little detail in the fine print. I said I would let him have his experiment. I never said I would leave it for him alive.”

Mikey mirrored his smile before he got choked up again, trying not to cry. He’d forgotten how much of a crybaby he was without the krang infestation. “I’m scared to go back, Leo. I didn’t just hurt you. I hurt everyone. Nothing is going to be the same.”

Leo nudged him with his shoulder. “Hey. Come on. We go through those changes at least once a month. Nothing ever stays the same for long.”

Mikey nodded, trying to rub away his tears that just kept coming. Leo really wasn’t the best at being sincere in moments like these. That was Mikey’s thing. So he just slung his arm around his little brother as they headed home.

There were even more tears when they arrived (mostly from Raph), hugs and a very long lecture (also from Raph). Their home was still a mess, things overturned and quite a few chores that they had intended to finish last minute before Splinter and April came back. But all in all, it was good to be home.

They all smiled until they heard an angry voice ring out. “Boys! What happened to my favorite cushion?!”