#he’s just lines and drawings yet has such great impact on me and my overall emotional wellbeing

[gojoest]

Should we file a class action lawsuit against Gege for MURDER😓 lol jk jk jk..i understand why satoru had to die but man it hurts 😢

i’m in 🙌 no but i totally know where you come from, i am the same IT IS SO PAINFUL and even more now after 261, gege has no mercy on us 😔

[ordinaryschmuck]

Starkid Musicals Ranked from Worst to Best

Salutations to you, random people on the internet who most certainly won’t read this. I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

Welp. I finally did it. I've watched the entire Starkid musical library, and I must say, most of these plays fit my writing style perfectly:

Humor that is cynical yet random

Leaning in with comedy while sprinkling in some well-executed drama

An understanding that any type of story works as long as the cast of varying personalities of characters is dynamic enough to result in some phenomenal chemistry.

This is in almost all of their plays, excelled through fantastic writing and stellar performances driving the overall quality. And it inspired me not only to review each musical, but also ranking them all from worst to best. Or, more accurately, least good to most good. Because even at their "worst," Starkid still provides a funny, enjoyable experience that will keep you laughing with its comedy and your toes tapping with its catchy music. So strap in as I go in-depth into how Starkid proves how they are the masters of humor and melody.

(I'll also provide links to each musical, which is all for free on YouTube, so you can check them out yourselves. Just know that their early work is impossible to enjoy without subtitles, so you might want to have Closed Captions on when watching.)

#12-Holy Musical B@man-Everything about this play makes it seem like it's the weakest to me. The jokes, songs, and characters in Holy Musical B@tman just don't hit as hard as Starkid's other plays. It's still good, but compared to their best, the cracks show a lot more. That is, except for the ending. Not only is there a great speech that shows what makes superheroes so beloved, but "Super Friends" might just be my favorite finale song Starkid has ever put out. Holy Musical B@tman may not be the best, but it's at least worth the time.

#11-Firebringer-This was stupid. Really stupid. Funny as f**k, but still pretty stupid. Although I will give credit to one of the central pairings being LGBTQA+...Even though it makes little to no sense based on the characters' previous interactions. But in fairness, Starkid really sucks at writing good romantic relationships, so at least Firebringer has the benefit of being gay. And as we all know: The gayer, the better. The play is still stupid, though.

#10-Me and My Dick-The world in this musical makes little to no sense. Penises and vaginas are sentient and can communicate with their humans. And yet the penises and vaginas can also talk with each other, form relationships, leave their humans, and reinsert themselves into others--Yeah, it makes no sense...But, DAMN, is it funny! Every joke and innuendo Me and My Dick has about human anatomy works, and I could not stop laughing at each of them. Especially the names that were given to the vaginas, which are just...I mean, I'm laughing just by thinking about them. That should tell you how funny they are. This play might be illogical in every way, but if you turn your brain off and watch it for the humor, you'll definitely be in for something fun.

#9-ANI: A Parody-What's weird about ANI is that its best qualities are also weaknesses. A good chunk of the jokes are hilarious and expertly delivered. The issue is that most of them are about taking potshots at the Star Wars prequels, which might be the laziest jokes to make in a Star Wars parody. Then there's the soundtrack, having several songs that are a bop to listen to. The problem is that ANI suffers from the same issues as Tarzan and Brother Bear: Yes, technically, it is a musical, but it's one where none of the characters sing, and some people in the background do all the singing instead. It's all an odd balancing act of quality content made through questionable choices. ANI is still an entertaining play, but the force isn't as strong with this one.

#8-Black Friday-This might be the least funny play that Starkid has ever put out. Not just because it leans extra hard into drama, which was pretty effective during certain scenes. It's just when there are jokes in Black Friday, they tend to fall flatter more here than they did in other plays. Also, the plot of Black Friday might not be the best one to play straight. The serious moments work best when focusing on the characters and their personal struggles, but through the big bad that's supposed to be threatening? Not so much. Even if it was meant to be funny, well, I wasn't laughing. And believe it or not, I consider that to be the best judge of whether or not something is funny. That being said, while Black Friday isn't the most humorous Starkid musical, it's still pretty good. The characters are excellent, the songs are awesome, and the story is somewhat easy to follow. I would have appreciated a few more laughs, but I can respect these talented people wanting to challenge their strengths.

#7-Starship-This play feels very...Disney. It follows a familiar formula we've seen several times: The main character wants more than what he has in his crappy life, miraculously gets the exact thing he wants, falls in love with a girl in a short amount of time, faces off against a campy/over the top villain, realizes the hand he's been dealt isn't so bad, and in the end, gets what he wants anyway. Starship is still pretty entertaining through its jokes, characters, and songs, but it also feels weird that Starkid leans into these tropes when they would eventually make a much better play by making fun of them. The end result is not bad in the slightest, but it's also nowhere near their best.

#6-A Very Potter Musical-Starkid's first production, and boy, what a start to something wonderful. Every one of their gimmicks and motifs is present in A Very Potter Musical. The use of parody to playfully mock characters and stories they love, making songs that are as funny as they are emotional, and creating characters that work because of their lines and the actors' performances. Oh, and also, it's funny. And it’s not just through a parody angle, like making Cedric be a perfect boy who's always smiling. It's also funny through its jokes that work, even if you ignore the fact that it’s a parody altogether. Case in point, there are these two bits, one involving Voldemort and Beatrix with the other involving Ron and Hermoine, that are written and delivered so well that I was in tears much more than with any other Starkid play. When watching A Very Potter Musical, you'll not only understand how parody works, but you'll also gain an understanding of why Starkid turned out as successful as they did.

#5-The Trail to Oregon-What can I say? I'm a sucker for comedic dysfunctional families. And seeing a family of idiots make their way to Oregon via The Oregon Trail parody? Yeah, that's a win for me. The play may be another family road trip narrative, which some people might get sick of at this point. But because the dynamics and comedic chemistry everyone has with each other are on point, the end result proves that you don't need an original story to tell an entertaining one. Although I will say that out of all of Starkid's productions, The Trail to Oregon has by far the worst ending. Without giving anything away, the play spends way too much time on this one stupid joke that any of the characters could make. Comedy is defined by personalities, as are most things, so making the joke work for anyone is a bad move when this one, in particular, doesn't fit as well for some characters as it would for others. Plus, the finale song "Naked in a Lake" is a really poor choice to cap off this musical. It's catchy, but to me, a finale song should encapsulate everything about the story, characters, and themes. Not paying off a joke that I honestly wouldn't want the payoff for. So while the ending could have used a lot more polish, that doesn't change how The Trail to Oregon is a pretty funny play that I won't mind revisiting when I have the chance.

#4-A Very Potter Sequel-Hey, sometimes a sequel is better than the original. Sure some jokes don't land, and some story beats aren't as impactful as they thought they were (Serious Black's introduction, for example), but there are far more improvements to this play than the last one. The performances are stronger, the jokes are funnier, the music is catchier, and the characters are much more entertaining in this play than in A Very Potter Musical. Especially new additions like Lupin and Lucious Malfoy, who provide great comedy and sublime drama at times. And Umbridge. Sweet Mother of all that is holy, Umbridge. While A Very Potter Sequel never made me laugh to tears as the first play did, twice, Professor Umbridge carries the comedy so well that she surpasses all of that. Plus, on top of it all, this play nails its ending through a bittersweet note that really captures what makes Hogwarts so special to these characters. I always feel like Starkid's plays tend to lose steam during the last few minutes, but A Very Potter Sequel is one of the few instances that it just builds and builds to a perfect ending. A Very Potter Sequel might not always hit the right marks, but the results are just magical when it does get it right.

#3-The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals-This one is pretty clever. The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals is one of those stories that manages to be explicitly hilarious yet implicitly disturbing. For instance, people suddenly bursting into perfectly choreographed musical numbers in a world where songs are exclusively diegetic is pretty funny (especially through the characters' reactions to it). However, knowing what happens to these people and why they sing and dance so expertly helps make the whole situation pretty dire. It's an excellent balancing act that not many stories can accomplish. And while The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals leans one way or the other at times, it's still all handled really well. Oh, and also, you know how most people say the villain song is the best one in any musical? Well, technically speaking, nearly every song in The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals is the villain song. Including the finale, which is just too brilliant for me not to give a round of applause. If you're a person who unfortunately doesn't like musicals either, I'd say be more than willing to give this one a chance. It's funny, catchy, and if you think of the implications, pretty damn disturbing.

#2-A Very Potter Senior Year-...You know how Avengers: Endgame is a bit of a mess, yet people still love it for how much of a perfect (sort of) finale it is? It's the same regard with A Very Potter Senior Year in my eyes. It's far from a masterpiece, but the many, many solid scenes that cap off this series help make me willing to overlook the mistakes. The characters, callbacks, and overall message about how things end was done so expertly well that I physically can’t hate this one. I can understand how it's more of an ok play when compared to the rest of Starkid's productions, but sometimes, ok is wonderful.

#1-Twisted: An Untold Story of a Royal Vizier-...It's Twisted. Everyone loves Twisted! And how could they not? Everything about this play just screams Starkid at their best. The comedy is uproarious, added with the fantastic delivery of the actors and the characters' personalities. Everyone feels as though they have one step in reality and the other in insanity. This, to me, seems like the best type of character work when going for the parody angle. Parody is about giving slight yet snide remarks toward the work you're mocking, which I feel works best when characters drop the suspension of disbelief audiences have when enjoying such a story. And Twisted definitely nails its satire in not only poking fun at Aladdin but also making jokes towards Disney as a brand. From their movies to their inside jokes to their formulas to even their corporate dealings with Pixar, nothing about Disney is sacred in Twisted. But on top of being funny, Twisted might just be the most successful Starkid has been with telling some really compelling drama. The jokes allow themselves to take a back seat to let serious moments play out, and even comedy is added, it provides more for the experience rather than taking anything away. You see this not only through the actors giving it their all but even through some really gorgeous and heart wrenching musical numbers. Oh, and also, Twisted has the best Starkid soundtrack, featuring songs that are epic, funny, and, as I said, heartbreaking. You cannot get better than this and, if you want to get a friend interested in Starkid as a whole, this might be the play for them. Scheherazade may have a thousand tales, but his one is a tale I wouldn't mind hearing for a thousand nights.

And that's about how I feel about Starkid and each and every one of their plays. Odds are your ranking would be much different from mine, and I'm all for that differing opinions. Feel free to make your own ranking if you want because I'm honestly curious where fans would place these plays above or below others. I'm relatively new to enjoying their work, so I have no idea what the consensus is. I do know one thing, though: If Starkid can still be incredibly entertaining through over ten years of content, then I am excited to see what they can accomplish next in another ten years.

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Best of 2020

Better late, than never. I enjoy seeing other people’s top-10 lists and I said I’d do one for 2020, so here we go. I haven’t had the chance to watch EVERYTHING I wanted to, but you’ve got to pull the trigger at some point. When the Academy Awards took place on Sunday, I felt like I hadn’t seen ANYTHING nominated but I could remember dozens of times where I felt like I wasted my precious minutes with cinematic detritus. I assumed putting this list together would be easy. It wasn’t. I’ve got a lot of runner ups but for now, here are my Top 10 “Best” (by which I kind of mean my favorite) movies of 2020:

10. Never Rarely Sometimes Always

Never Rarely Sometimes Always gave me a lot to think about. On the surface, it's about a teenager who has to travel outside of her hometown to get an abortion, but it could've been any kind of procedure she's uncomfortable (or unable) asking her parents for. It's about the lengths she has to go to when her main source of support is cut off. You feel uneasy throughout, wondering what lengths the girls will have to resort through and whether something horrible is just around the corner. For this reason, I think many parents would find the film enriching.

9. Mank

I haven’t posted my review of Mank yet - just haven't had the time so consider my star rating for it "spoiled". If you don't know, it's about Herman J. Mankiewicz (Gary Oldman) and the time he wrote Citizen Kane for Orson Welles. I can’t call Citizen Kane one of my favorite films, but I do often think of it. The story, the characters, specific shots, the overall look, etc. Every time I revisit it in my memory, my appreciation for it grows and in a way, Mank helps complete my relationship with the film. For that reason, I foresee myself revisiting Mank in the future - probably as part of a double-bill. I’d love to see it enough times to memorize some of Gary Oldman’s best lines.

8. One Night in Miami

One Night in Miami addresses the present while being set in the past but something about it clicked with me more than Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom. It's essentially a series of long conversations, the kinds that force you to really examine tough questions and see these legendary figures as normal people. Unlike Mank, it isn't so much the individual lines that stand out, it's more the vibes you get from the exchanges. Out of all the movies on this list, it's probably got the best ensemble cast.

7. Sound of Metal

I'm sure you've seen that clip from Un Chien Andalou where an eye gets sliced with a razor? It gives me the willies just thinking about it because if I were blind I wouldn't be able to watch movies or draw. In Sound of Metal, we're dealing with a career cut short because of deafness but the dots are easy to connect.  I immediately connected with this movie, which made its ending feel like a punch in the gut.

6. Tenet

I keep telling myself that I won’t love a movie Christopher Nolan directs just because his name is attached to it. Hopefully, this doesn't make me a fanboy, despite my falling for pretty much everything he's released. I love how ambitious Tenet is. The plot is so complicated but then again it isn't because once you're able to grok the mechanics of its reverse-entropy technology, you'll probably figure out most of the plot's mysteries. For me, that was the fun part. It felt good to see my understanding of the story and theories confirmed. I'll be watching it again once groups can gather so my friends and I can discuss everything in detail.

5. Trial of the Chicago Seven

I know The Trial of the Chicago Seven fudges history in ways certain people would say is irredeemable but I never go into a film “based on true events” assuming liberties won’t be taken. At the end of the day, I care about being entertained. My enjoyment was also amplified by the fact that I didn't know what the verdicts would be - my American history is spotty, at best. It's got laughs, outrage, drama, and inspirational moments. Aside from romance, you've got pretty much all the bases covered.

4. Palm Springs

Out of all the pleasant surprises of 2020, Palm Springs was the biggest. I thought the Groundhog Day thing was played out and the 0-star-worthy Love Wedding Repeat did nothing to convince me otherwise. Then, this movie comes along and does everything you want in one of those movies, and then some. Not only did Palm Springs give me the romantic comedy I'd been craving for (feels like we haven't gotten a good one since "Crazy Rich Asians" it also examines what love and relationships mean through smartly written metaphors.

3. Possessor

No, I didn’t put this movie on the list just because it’s Canadian; Possessor is on this list because it’s the most unsettling movie of 2020. I mean that in a good way. I've already talked about how unsettling the premise is but it's also the execution. Those bizarre “dream” scenes with the different identities merging in unnatural ways is unforgettable. That mask of Tasya's face, half-melted is already creepy enough, when worn by Christopher Abbott as he re-enacts her memories is just so weird it makes you wonder if you’re actually seeing what you’re seeing, or if you’re going mad. Then, there's that shot with the fingers at the end! Makes me wince just thinking about it.

2. Soul

During the Oscars, I get a little mad at Pixar. They effortlessly churn out these masterpieces that mean no other studio has a chance of winning an Academy Award for the Best Animated Film category. It makes me wonder if the voters even bother to watch the competition but I don't think anyone could argue against Soul. It's among their best films. It’s gorgeous, profound, and modern without showcasing any issues that might flush your day down the toilet.

Runner-Ups:

Enola Holmes

I never believed Enola Holmes would end up on my "Best of the Year" list but this movie is a lot of fun. If you haven't seen it yet, you should. Just wanted to remind you.

Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) I was disappointed when audiences didn’t seem interested in Birds of Prey. Seeing Margot Robbie go all-out and given a script that actually makes good use of her character was lots of fun. I also found it refreshing to see a superhero movie (not really, but kind of) that didn’t involve a plot to destroy the world, upheaval all of civilization, or shoot a giant beam into the sky. I think this is one people will discover down the line and go “why didn’t I go see this in theaters when it was playing?”

Borat Subsequent Moviefilm I’m not 100% in love with Borat 2 but boy am I looking forward to showing it to people who have no idea what’s coming. That scene with Rudy Guliani might not have the same impact down the line as it did when I first saw this sequel, but that’s ok. It’ll still have you picking your jaw off the floor.

Nomadland It’s a great movie and I might’ve put it on my list of the best… but I just don’t see myself watching this one again anytime soon. Great movie though. It deserves every accolade you see directed towards it. Chloé Zhao is shaping up to be a major talent. While before I might’ve said “Eternals who?” Now, I’m excited.

The Vast of Night Until I saw Possessor, this was my favorite horror film of 2020. I love the way this movie does so much without showing anything. It’s all about letting your imagination do the work.

Hamilton I’m still unsure how I feel about the casting in Hamilton. Everyone does a terrific job. I understand why actors of color were chosen to portray the historical figures we meet during this story. It still doesn't sit 100% comfortable with me. Then again, who can argue with those results? I’ve seen the movie twice and the songs are still playing in my head.

1. Promising Young Woman

I only had so much before this post went up. Enough for one more movie. It was a tossup between The Father, Judas and the Black Messiah, and Promising Young Woman. As you can imagine, I’m pretty satisfied with the choice I made. Writer/director Emerald Fennell takes the rape-revenge genre and reshapes it into something that feels completely new. Like many of the other films on this list, it also feels relevant to what’s going on today. There are many reasons why I could’ve given it this slot. The writing, the performances, the way it puts your stomach in knots as you wonder what’s going to happen next, the pitch-perfect ending… but I’m going to pick a more personal reason. I try to look at films as snapshots of when they were made. There’s a part of me that winces when I look at Gone with the Wind but I’m also able to take a step back and say “but other than that…” and then just enjoy the movie. In Promising Young Woman, the past is confronted in a way that made me pause and think about two movies on my shelf: Wedding Crashers and American Pie. The Vince Vaughn/Owen Wilson comedy, in particular, has a lot of questionable bits of comedy, bits made even more eyebrow-raising by the fact that it isn't an "old" movie whose entire cast is now dead. Let’s just say that when a movie makes me go “This movie is replacing X”, makes me think this hard about things, and does everything else you want in a thriller… it’ll stick in your head for a long time. That's why I'm calling it the best/my favorite movie of the year.

[fishoutofcamelot]

I'd like to preface this by saying that I love your blog and all the analysis that you've done on various characters, scenes and ships. You are one of my online heroes. I'm not sure if you're still doing the ship asks, but if you are, what are your thoughts on frelin?

Dude tysm! I’m not sure ‘online hero’ is a great way to describe someone who once made a post comparing dragonlords to furries, but I’ll take the compliment nonetheless!! Your kind words have given me enough dopamine to last until my next paycheck <3

Freylin is a decent ship - conceptually. They're two kindred spirits who found solace and intimacy with each other, drawn together by their mutual sense of otherness (possessing magic). However, I think Freylin does fall into some obvious trappings of Insta-Love, Heteronormativity, and Not Giving Female Love Interests Any Discernible Personality Traits.

For some people, that's not a problem. They like watching Merlin and Freya be cute and sappy with each other, and I'll agree that it was a treat to see such a fun side of Merlin. If that's the kinda ship you like, then great! Ship away. But personally, Freylin makes me feel bad for Freya. 

Not because of the death thing - lord knows I've done far worse to beloved characters without even a hint of remorse. But I feel bad for her because of her role in the ship. As mentioned above, her main purpose in the narrative and in Merlin's life is to give him some angst, then come back later in season 3 to give him some helpful advice as a sort of Freya Ex Machina. Her personality has no depth beyond what was necessary for the story. And even in fanon interpretations of her, she's essentially just a more shy/introverted carbon-copy of Gwen. 

And, okay, as a writer I can admit that there are some characters who don't need a lot of depth. Some characters are plot devices, and that's okay. Freya only appears in like two episodes, so under normal circumstances I'd begrudge that level of shallow characterization. But the rules are different for characters who have a close emotional connection with the MC, especially love interests - even episodic dalliances like Freya! 

Take Balinor, Will, and Daegal, for example. They were all important to Merlin, and all had distinct personalities. Balinor is cantankerous and reclusive. Will is pragmatic and confrontational. Daegal is earnest and youthfully naive. And we as the audience liked them too, because they felt like actual people, even though their main purpose in the story is mainly to serve Merlin's arc. They are, fundamentally, plot devices, but they don’t feel like plot devices because of how organically they’ve been written. 

Freya is a harder sell, because she doesn't have as much of a personality with which to endear us. I'm not saying we need to know Freya's favourite colour and her fondest childhood memory, nor do we need to witness her go through a seasons-long character arc. Not every background character needs their personality painstakingly detailed, least of all background characters. If well-written main characters are chicago deep-dish pizzas, then well-written background characters are hot pockets - easy to make, easy to love, easy to remember. Characters like Gilli and Elena and the love of my life Sophia are good hot pockets. But Freya as she currently is, she's not even that. She's like if we were told there was a hot pocket in the microwave, only to open it up and find it's just a lump of half-melted cheese. 

And it's sad, because Freya had the potential to be interesting. She could've had a distinct personality that made us fall in love with her right alongside Merlin - which would have made her death even more painful for both the characters and the audience alike. But even if you don't give her a personality, at the very least let her fulfill her purpose of furthering Merlin's character arc instead of just making him sad for a few minutes. 

While I'm by no means an expert writer, here's how I would've taken a crack at having Freya’s impact on Merlin's arc. 

So Merlin sees Freya again, but she's not some helpful water spirit. She's emotional and volatile and vengeful and deeply, profoundly traumatized by the nature of her death. And maybe it's his job to finally lay her soul to rest once and for all.

She gets upset at Merlin. She cries and shouts and weeps about her death, about the pain and injustice of it. How could he continue protecting her killer? How could he befriend the man who literally murdered her? Freya didn't want to die, she didn't want to be a monster, she didn't want to be alone (cue implications that she has been trapped inside the lake all this time, maddened by isolation). She just wanted to be left in peace. To be loved. Merlin naturally defends Arthur, saying that he is destined to be a good king, destined to free magic and bring about the golden age of Albion. But she insists that destiny must be wrong, because what has Arthur done for the magic community besides perpetuate his father's company line? He killed her, killed several others like her, and even to this day he condones the oppression of their people - what makes him think a man like that could ever change, could ever set them free? And even if he does, why should any of them be expected to forgive him for his war crimes? 

She tells him that deep down, Merlin knows this. Deep down, Merlin fears Arthur just as much as the rest of them. If he truly believed in Arthur's inherent goodness, in his destiny, then Merlin would not have kept his magic hidden for so long. 

Thus sparks a seed of doubt in Merlin's mind, and scenes like Morgana's speech in Tears Of Uther Pendragon Part 2, Arthur's drive to destroy the dragon egg in Aithusa, Kara's execution in Drawing in the Dark, and the confession in Herald of a New Age would only cause that seed to grow. 

Not only is this a natural and logical progression of his character, but it would also be compelling to see Merlin's unwavering loyalty to Arthur do exactly that - waver. It grants depth to his character, empathizes us to his cause and the cause of his people, and lets us see Merlin in a unique perspective. It also puts a new light on Arthur's actions, foreshadowing an eventual moment of reckoning where Arthur will have to face the consequences of his harmful rhetoric - thereby creating a subtle layer of tension as we wait for that moment to finally arrive. And there's yet another layer of tension that arises from Merlin's repressed yet growing doubts: will he finally admit that Arthur isn't the shining saviour Kilgharrah had promised he'd be? Will he snap like Freya did? Will he and Arthur drift apart? And if they do, what will bring them back together, if such a thing is even possible? How will they make amends? How will Arthur learn from his mistakes and earn back Merlin’s trust?

I could go on and on about how this would impact the story as a whole, but I'm not here to talk about my rewrite ideas. I'm here to talk about Freylin.

At the end of the day, while it's a good ship, Freya doesn't have much personality, which affects their overall chemistry, and I don't think they have enough going on between them to be an endgame pairing. My personal opinion is that Freya has less narrative potential as a romantic partner, and more narrative potential as a supplementary background character whose closeness to Merlin combined with her own trauma forces him to develop and grow in certain ways. She's less of a Gwen (long-standing love interest), and more of a Balinor (one-off character with emotional importance), and that's perfectly fine. But because of her lack of personality and overall narrative relevance, I have a hard time believing or shipping Freylin beyond the scope of her debut episode.

Thanks for the ask! <3

[baconpal]

talkin bout fuckig manga

hey it’s me, haven’t had internet for over a week and i’ve been sick and uni and blah blah blah time for a rant about manga

this time its about  "Soredemo Machi wa Mawatteiru", tl;dr, good manga read it idk

lots of bullshit below the cut

Before anything I say gets too confusing or I go off on an insane tangent, just know my recommendation is that you read "Soredemo Machi wa Mawatteiru". It's not very easy to find online since it has an official English release (which my recommendation extends far enough to suggest I might pick up in the future, just to have it, but I am very stingy), but there's an alright torrent of all the volumes on your local anime torrenting website, and is at the very least worth the trouble of reading as such. There is also an anime that gets better as it goes, but the manga is my primary recommendation. Beyond this point I'm not gonna give much regard to what I write, so get ready for anything, read the manga and see if you agree with me, or don't and see if I care:

BOUT THE ANIME: The SoreMachi anime is one of those rare comedy anime you find where the animation and overall production is just really extra the entire time. Hopefully you know what I mean because I won't really be able to explain it any other way, it's simply one of those shows where the jokes are decent and it's a fun time for the most part. Unfortunately, the anime makes a couple of critical missteps that kept me from getting far into it when I first tried watching it about a year ago, and in retrospect seem even less reasonable.

Starting with the good, as an adaptation it does a good job with most chapters it covers, it properly sources where each chapter comes from incase you intend to read the manga and skip around to catch up, and the anime adapts some sections to have additional jokes that fit very naturally in to the story. It also covers up some of those problems only manga can have like having a concert segment without any actual music involved, until they invent mp3-paper it's just something we'll have to live with. Translation work was pretty good (I watched the [WhyNot] release for those who care), which is extra important for something as difficult to translate as jokes from another language. The set of episodes they chose to end on was very good, and was expanded to be a lot more impactful in the anime. If it wasn't for the last episode being as strong as it was I may have given up on finding the manga when I saw it wasn't super easy to read online.

As for what the anime fails in, some episodes feature some really blatant over-acting that doesn't really help make characters believable, and there's this obnoxious gag that continues the whole where through where most scenes have a few seconds long line from what is essentially a forced mascot character, which usually mean nothing and only serve to harm the pacing of many episodes (there isn't even any sort of equivalent bit in the manga so I really don't know why they did it, most of the anime original jokes are pretty good so I just really don't get it). The biggest issue the anime faces is that the source material is about 140 chapters, while the anime is only able to cover 24 chapters. This comes with a LOT of problems, the first being what I'd call the "required reading". SoreMachi is not a 1-note simple comedy where you can skip to any chapter and be completely okay; There are many small but meaningful subplots lying beneath, and characters have a fair bit of development throughout. What this means for the anime is that the first 3-4 episodes are just the first few chapters of the manga, which are a bit rough and not as good as the majority of the work, which is true of a lot of comics (god fuck I promise there will be more than a first chapter of my comic I promise it'll get better fuck). In terms of the anime by itself, I'd say episode 1 is decent, 2 is middling, and by 3/4 their still taking a while to introduce members of the cast, and I didn't immediately want to finish it. I put the show down for a long time until my internet started dying and I wanted to watch something fun. Slapping it back on at episode 5 I immediately had a great time and watched the rest of the show pretty soon after. While I understand the reasoning behind doing this, the anime does not pay off this structure, as beyond the first few episodes, the chapters start being presented out of release order and out of chronological order, kind of destroying any consistent throughline. This decision in and of itself isn't the worst, since the comic isn't always chronological, and the volume ordering is a bit different from the release ordering, but the inconsistency makes the first few episodes feel lessened without reason. The other large failure that comes with only animating about 1/7th of the entire work is that many themes and concepts that are core to the manga are not represented in the anime well at all. One of the biggest is the rare but unnerving supernatural chapters, of which only one is animated, and not a particularly good one. In order to talk about these themes I'll have to transition into talking about the manga itself, since they aren't part of the anime.

DA MANGA: So one last recommendation that you read the manga, the whole damn thing. Cus we're gettin into themes and character moments that take a long time to pay off, and obviously is all part of my interpretations, so if that stuff means anything to you don't let me ruin it for ya.

The title of the manga is, in essence, the entire manga's "punchline" in that every chapter could meaningfully end with simply the text "And yet the town still turns..." (My translation of the title, fuck "And yet, the town revolves" or "But the town moves"); by this I mean most chapters end in an anti-climax where a mystery is left unsolved, or a mystery is solved and undercut by the realization that life simply keeps on going without much change. This is used to essentially force your eyes open to all possibilities when reading, as the main character spends her time acting like a detective, and these mysteries end up as either misunderstandings, secrets, riddles, and sometimes something out of the ordinary happens that makes you unable to pin anything down firmly. Similarly, these endings aren't always read-and-forget scenarios. Several chapters come back in the form of a continued joke, a continued mystery, or contribute to some greater purpose later. Readers are properly rewarded for keeping everything they can in mind, while also tormenting such people with loose ends.

I enjoy Hotori as a protagonist due to her character being defined not in flaws and strengths, but in mindedness. Hotori seems like a simple "haha she's dumb" character to start, but consistently throughout she proves that her strengths are in memory, observation, and deduction, while lacking in some more common sense and abilities. Her brain works in strange ways that some people may or may not understand, such as her need to think through even the most trivial fictional scenarios, which I relate to deeply.

The art and paneling throughout are wonderful. Ishiguro Masakazu is one of those artists who draws very simple characters, but knows how to use details and depth to breath so much life into the artwork. He also clearly uses the occasional supernatural happenings as an excuse to draw what he loved, as all sorts of artistic depictions of the supernatural come out that simply look satisfying. These parts obviously meant a lot to him since he's been working on a primarily mystery-action manga that has a lot more of that stuff in it. (Also, as hindsight is 20/20, if you've read any of his new work you'll notice that the main character of it is eerily similar to a character who shows up very late in SoreMachi that the author obviously fell in love with, cus she just keeps coming back and even ends up with a really unsettling end to her character arc despite only being introduced as a component in a harmless mystery. Feel free to call me out for the same shit 30 years from now when I'll probably do the same shit)

I'd like to get into some of the major themes of this work, as a lot of them hit very close to my mind (which I guess is true of any theme you recognize for yourself, you wouldn't really "get it" if it didn't mean something to you...).

The simplest theme, again, comes from the title. The main character, Hotori, expresses a desire that the town she lives in continues going on, unchanged forever. This is obviously a fear of change, which ya know, same, but also an exploration of what it means to fear change. Hotori actively tries to keep businesses from closing down, keep friends from leaving, and keep relationships from changing, while simultaneously making all sorts of new relationships and solving mysteries. Hotori even comes to realize that simply learning the truth about something changes the world through your own perspective, and that such changes can't be undone. In spite of this, Hotori mostly gets her wish, any time she fears that a large change will impact the town, its resolved about the same as any other issue. Whether its a message that even time can't keep you from your loved ones and that change isn't worth fearing, or a concession that large changes to the setting would be a bad idea in terms of humor, I can't really decide. This theme reaches it's conclusion in what is one in a series of "ending" kinda chapters at the end of the series. Hotori is faced with a supernatural ethical situation, save her town from destruction at the cost of her existence, or live through the disaster, knowing her town and the people in it will forever be changed. While the actual result is that nobody disappears and nothing is lost, and the event may have simply been a strange dream, Hotori confidently decides that sparing the people in her town from a life altering event is worth giving up her memories with them. A kind of bold spit-in-the-face to the idea that change is okay, where we find that Hotori didn't fear change for herself, but rather for the people around her.

There's another major idea in this manga, which takes a very long time to pay off, and completes its arc at the very very very actual end of the series, the idea of "leading someone to be something". A character that rides that line between main and side character, Shizuka, is a writer of detective novels, who feels the best person to judge her works would be a version of herself without the bias of being the author. She tries to achieve this by leading Hotori to be interested in detective works (including her own) and generally be just like her, starting from a young age. The end result is a young girl dead set on being a detective herself (or at least another novelist), while Shizuka keeps her identity as an author secret. She then uses Hotori as a scapegoat for herself, attempting to see how she would solve various mysteries and use that as inspiration, and this is depicted as though Shizuka were some sort of villain, which she may feel like she is. The end result of it all, though, is that Hotori was likely already a detective-minded person, and that even if Shizuka pushed her down that path, it was Hotori's decision to continue down it, and the very end of the manga is a scene revealing that Hotori figured out Shizuka's secret at some point, and even still respected Shizuka and aspired to reach her, and the two accept each other for who they are. I enjoy this ending a lot, since as an artist I've worried that some of my love or aspirations for and from other artists came with an ulterior motive of wanting a better community for art to exist in, but people are people and will make their own decisions, and some day everyone may be able to become equals in a truly meaningful sense, where everyone is inspired by and guiding each other together.

So that probably didn't mean shit to nobody and I didn't even really talk about anything in the comic like most of the main characters or any of the shit goin on but ya know fuck you go read it, and thanks for reading this.

[my-happy-little-bean]

The Bookkeeper – Chapter 5

Chapter 5: The Signature Of All Things

pairings: logicality, prinxiety words: 3453 chapter warnings: mild existentialism chapter summary: talks of philosophy, tea, and a smidge of jealousy.

[read on ao3] [masterlist]

< previous chapter

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Fray and Far Fables was filled with flowers. 

It was clear that there had been some attempt to hide them, but the flowers were indeed there. Daisies squirmed between the floorboards, pink and lilac petals were flattened under rugs, and strings of ivy were draping off of the shelves. 

And in the middle of the store was Patton and Roman. 

Logan watched, amused, as Patton stuffed his hands into his overall pockets upon hearing the door open. Grass strands and petals fell down his sides as he smiled sheepishly. 

“Oh! Logan! You’re...back early!”

“I am actually on time, Patton.” He looked pointedly at Roman, who had formed his magic into a small broom and began idly whistling as he swept up some more petals under rugs. “It seems more like you both lost track of time.” 

“Something like that!” Patton rubbed the back of his neck. “How was the play?” 

Logan smiled warmly. “It was brilliant. Annie Baker is such a profound playwright. Her expertise in dialogue, the impact of the silence she marked throughout– The Aliens was such a joy. I would love to take you to the next show, I believe it’s playing again next week…”

“Wow, Specs. Forgot how much of a theatre kid you are.” 

Logan stuck out his tongue at Roman. Patton, on the other hand, just grinned even wider. 

“I am really happy you’re enjoying all of your art- ventures!” 

Logan’s smile faltered. “Well, I wouldn’t say...all…” 

“Look, I already apologized for the pottery class– how was I supposed to know that a kids birthday party was happening on that day! Plus, you got such a nice bowl out of it!” 

Logan snuck a glance at his messed up attempt at a bowl, sitting on one of his shelves. The sides were lopsided—which was a generous way of saying broken—and there was a chip in its rim. He winced. 

“If ‘nice’ is synonymous with ‘mess’...then sure.” 

“And speaking of mess!” Patton gestured around the scattered flora in the shop. “Sorry for the...well, mess.”

“Don’t apologize! Adventures get messy, padré!” Roman cut Logan off before he could even speak. Roman threw his broom up and jumped to land on the handle, gliding through the air like he was surfing. Logan rolled his eyes. 

“That’s quite alright, Patton. It seems like you both had a pleasant time.” 

“We did! I think this one has to be my favourite one yet!” 

Logan bit his tongue. Patton had been saying that for every book nook he had visited, and this had to have been his fifth one now. Still, he couldn’t seem to grow tired of the bright glow Patton always brought back to his home. 

So he nodded along as Patton recalled his and Roman’s latest adventure. Patton was as lively as ever, animatedly telling the story of boundless scenery and endless amounts of peace and solitude. 

At one point in the conversation, Logan even closed his eyes and magically summoned his tea tray from his room to the coffee table in the shop. He hoped that doing so wouldn’t interrupt Patton, but it caught his attention immediately. Roman was especially stunned by the act. 

“You still seem to have it in you, huh?” Roman said, half-teasingly and half-impressed. He tipped over his own cup of sugar as Patton stared at Logan, starry-eyed.

“I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you do that before!” Patton added on. 

Logan shrugged it off as if it were nothing, but was secretly astounded himself. It didn’t feel new, but it didn’t feel like it was always something he could do either. He had gone on several of Patton’s acclaimed ‘art-ventures’—museums, art classes, a concert for the local orchestra, and now this play—and every week this feeling had only grown. 

It felt...refreshing. Something within him must have made a reappearance. 

Patton continued his story between sips of tea.

“The book was about this young couple running away from their town and moving to a house on a hill! It was Roman’s choice, so it makes sense that it was so good.”

Logan raised his eyebrow at Roman. “I’ve noticed you’ve been reading a lot of books like that nowadays.”

Roman laughed. “The book interested Patton more than it interested me–” He winked at Logan– “but I could see its escapist value.” 

“Mere observation,” Logan murmured, studying Roman’s face for any trace of mockery, but it seemed rather honest. Logan pocketed the thought — perhaps one for later.

“It was so beautiful, Lo. Clear skies, all these flowers…” Patton sighed dreamily. “I could’ve stayed there forever.” 

“But you can’t,” Logan reminded him. Patton playfully rolled his eyes, nudging Logan.

“But I can’t,” he echoed back, smiling brightly at him. Soft chills ran through Logan’s spine. It felt like flowers were blossoming within him, weaving themselves through his vertebrae and making him melt into springtime madness. 

A familiar feeling with Patton nowadays, he noted. 

“Did you end up painting something?” Logan managed to say, taking a long sip of tea. Patton’s eyes lit up. 

“Yes! Oh, thank you for reminding me!” 

Patton flew off his seat and dashed to the counter. Logan exchanged a look with Roman who just shrugged with a knowing smile. 

Patton returned with a rather sizeable canvas and turned it around to face Logan, who gasped. 

Sprawled on the canvas was a scene that Logan swore was plucked right out of the air and put on paper. In his immediate line of sight was a hill of bright green with flowery dashes of orange, yellow, blue, and purple struck upon the grass. It looked like you could lie down in each patch and sink right through the canvas.

At the centre line of the painting were some darker shades of green and brown making up trees of various sizes — taller from the left side of the painting and narrowing down as Logan’s vision panned across the canvas. Beside the trees was a small house, and beside the house was the faint outline of two dark silhouettes next to a clothesline. The silhouettes wore dresses that lifted slightly in the wind. 

And in the background were those bright blue skies, outstretching far beyond the confinements of the piece, going past mountains smoking clouds. 

He could feel the valley wind rush past him just looking at Patton’s painting. He could feel each footstep he would take into each fuzzy patch of flowers. He could feel everything. 

Logan felt himself zoom back to reality and locked eyes with Patton. 

“I…” For some odd reason, his research question echoed in his head. 

‘ Is this what it’s all for?’ 

“What do you think?” Patton’s voice edged with anticipation. Roman looked oddly unsettled by Logan’s silence. Logan, on the other hand, felt as if so many voices were swarming his head.

‘Art…Escapism…’

“Lo?” 

‘It’s...it’s to feel...to be transported...to be–’

“I’m blown away, Patton,” Logan breathed out. It felt like sparks were firing off in his chest. “This...this is incredible.” 

Patton’s shoulders loosened as he broke into a wide, rosy smile. 

“Ah! Thank you! I worked on it for– oh gosh, like probably half the day! I haven’t ever painted for that long in...well, a long time! And I certainly haven’t finished something in one go in even longer!” 

“It’s incredible,” Logan said, echoing himself and lost in his amazement. 

“That’s what I told him!” Roman said, patting Patton on the shoulder and flying over to the front of the painting. He pretended to stroll through it. “Took a page right out of the book...nook!” 

Patton giggled, still bright red. The warm hue must have radiated off of Patton and grazed Logan’s cheeks, which burned similarly. 

“It’s not hard to get in such a flow state in those book nooks.” Patton stared wistfully at the painting, as if trying to go back. “I haven’t been this inspired since...forever.” 

“How long have you been doing this sort of stuff?” Roman asked idly, floating back down to the tea tray and taking more sips of sugar. “I’m curious as to where a great mind such as yourself found its running start!” 

Patton laughed. “It really isn’t anything special, Roman. Plus I don’t want to bore anyone–”

“You could never,” Logan blurted out. He felt the two’s stares burn right through him. “I...I would enjoy a story, Patton.”

Patton smiled, softer than usual. He leaned the canvas against the side of the armchair and sat back down.

“Well, I’ve been drawing since... forever, really!” He sipped his tea and stared out the window. “My favourite kind of art used to be scrapbooking– I would help my mom with decorating photo albums and eventually, I would make scrapbooks out of stuff I drew.”

“That’s precious ,” Roman beamed. “Imagine the nook you can open out of that!” 

“I know! I wish I had kept some before I moved out.”

“I didn’t know you used to do collages, Patton,” Logan chimed in. Patton shrugged. 

“It was the art style I liked the most, but one of my professors had challenged me to start making something of my own. It was a real slow start, though. I have always known how to take things that already exist and make them into something new — but I never really knew how to...well, make something new..” 

Logan furrowed his brow. For some strange reason, he longed for his notebook. Patton’s words felt like they were moving the puzzle pieces in his head closer and closer together–

In a small spark of navy smoke, his notebook and pen appeared on his lap with a small pop! 

Logan blinked at it. ‘Did I…’

He felt a pair of eyes on him. Like a deer in headlights, he lifted his head up and locked eyes with Roman. Roman’s eyes flickered then at Patton, before moving back to Logan’s hands. He stiffened, almost...hurt. A chill ran through Logan’s spine.

“Anyway! I found my footing when I moved into this town and found your bookshop!” Patton continued, seemingly not noticing Logan’s abrupt display of magic. “I...well, I didn’t really have any friends around here so I was doing a lot of exploring for inspiration. And when I found your shop, Logan, I...I don’t know! All the books I bought here were always so vivid.” Patton winked at Roman. “Now I know why!” 

“What drew you to books?” Logan asked, leaning forward. 

“As I said, I liked to make things out of things that already existed. Making paintings based on books – well, it was a bit of a stepping stone to that, you know?”

“But you’ve never painted a truly original piece.” 

“Logan!” Roman hissed. Logan looked at him incredulously. 

Patton awkwardly fiddled with his thumbs. “I mean, I don’t know if I’ve ever copied anything– I’m more so inspired by everything – but I guess in the way you frame it...no! No, not really.” 

“So why do you make art, Patton?” 

A beat of silence. Patton tilted his head to the side. Even Roman looked more than unsettled now. Roman’s gaze landed on Logan’s notebook. He narrowed his eyes at Logan, who cleared his throat. 

“Um...I’m not sure!” Patton laughed nervously. “Never gave it much thought. But...I always liked the idea of having my art reach other people, since I’ve gotten my spark from other people. I was given something from someone, made it into something else, and wanted to keep sharing that ‘something’ around! Like– like with the book drawings, for example! Those were all for you.” 

Logan felt himself draw back. “They...they were?” 

“Who did you think they were for, silly?”

“I...I’m not sure. I just...I didn’t know they were made for me.”

“Well of course they were!” Patton reached over to place a hand on Logan’s knee. Sparks crackled beneath the touch. “I love painting for you.”

Logan could feel Roman staring up at him.

“You know, Albert Camus, a French philosopher, posited that art is inherently selfish,” Logan began slowly, flipping through his notebook. “The meaning of any particular form of art is rooted in his ‘logic of the absurd’ – the idea that the human condition is absurd and must hence be revolted. This makes art lack any intrinsic value, since it goes beyond making a meaningful mark on the world and instead reinforces subjective messages into other–s”

“I think we all need a translation from nerd , Logan,” Roman scoffed, though his voice edged with tension. Logan swore Roman’s aura pulsed red, telling him to stop, you don’t need to make every artist feel useless–

Logan sighed, focusing his attention on Patton.

“Essentially, Camus believed that since art was the sort of ‘carrier’ for messages that only promoted awareness of the absurd and attitudes of revolt, there is no essential meaning to it. It just forces an opinion onto someone else.”

“If I may,” Patton interjected. “I...I don’t really think art forces anything onto anyone.” 

Logan raised an eyebrow. Patton simply shrugged. 

“Art is our way of making sense of the world, and finding the people that understand that same– or at least, similar– sense. I don’t want to make a mark on the world, and I don’t want to give some definite answers to anything. I...I guess I make art to find where I fit, and I hope others can look at my art and find the same thing.” 

Logan nodded, still not writing anything down. He could feel himself reach for more answers, as if they were tied to Patton’s very being. 

“Also, Logan,” Patton added. “I think it’s interesting that you bring up Camus’ theories of absurdism – theories stating that it is impossible and thus irrelevant for someone to know or understand the meaning of anything. Wasn’t absurdism sort of Camus’ opposing response to nihilism?” 

Logan’s jaw dropped. Patton took another sip of his tea and shrugged. 

“I took a few philosophy classes in university.” Patton smiled brightly. “Very interesting stuff!” 

Roman snorted. A puff of sugar encircled his head. Logan flushed beet red. 

“Right,” he said, trying to compose himself. “So do you agree with Camus?” 

“Not entirely. I think it’s hard to tie in Camus’ logic of the absurd to the meaning of art. Artistic value can’t really be reduced to just facts. It’s so much more than logical. However, absurdism as a whole has always fascinated me. If the meaning of art, let’s say, is impossible and irrelevant to understand, then you have so much space to make something out of it.”

“I just don’t understand how you are so optimistic that there is anything– that you can make something from– from nothing .” Logan exhaled a tightly-held breath, though found himself less frustrated and more curious. “Virgil Aries stated that in the constant struggle of possibility and reality, reality is always victorious, because reality is all we have. Your conception of art is so intertwined with possibility in the midst of nothing — how can you be so sure that your contributions are hence meaningful?” 

Patton took a second before replying, “Do you really believe there is nothing, Logan?” 

Logan blinked. The room fell quiet. 

“What...what else could there be?” he murmured. 

Roman’s presence darkened — quite literally, actually. Logan could feel his aura dim, as if it were sagging in defeat. 

Patton, however, gave him a gentle smile. 

“Do you remember when I read The Signature of All Things? Alma and Ambrose heavily considered the idea that the novel is titled after — that there is some kind of unifying principle that connects and explains all phenomena.” 

Logan nodded. Patton motioned over to the canvas leaning against his armchair.

“Well, I think I’m trying to find that with my art. I’m trying to leave a signature of my own in places that can only be found if looked for — and I can only do that if I choose to believe there’s something in all the…’nothing’.” 

He then shrugged, finishing his cup of tea. “But I don’t think that deeply, really. All I know is that if there is a meaning for anything out there, there’s no point in searching for it. It’s probably too big and very...restrictive. You have to make meaning for yourself, then find the places it fits.”

Logan felt dizzy with the new perspective. Janus’ words mixed with Patton’s as Logan found himself immersed in a snow globe of their thoughts.

“Art worms its way into the spaces that it can fit. And with the help of others, art– and everything it represents– is made bigger than the spaces of life they initially occupy.” 

He recalled Patton’s painting. 

‘Art...is to feel ...is to not escape nothing but...but rather replace it with something .’

Logan looked up at Patton once more, noticing the way he glowed under the sunlight. His words spun circles around Logan’s head like planetary orbit, and he felt the reverberation of pieces snapping together in his mind. 

And here was Patton at the centre of it all, still smiling, not knowing everything yet harbouring a spirit of boundless knowledge and new perspectives. It drew him in like a moth to a flame and he didn’t quite know why, but he didn’t feel like he was in a rush to find out.

They continued to talk for the rest of the day, exchanging theories of philosophy and engaging in friendly debate. Logan found himself laughing at Patton’s anecdotes and becoming stunned by his mind. Halfway through their conversation, Logan realized that this was the first time he truly talked to Patton — and suddenly, he didn’t know how to stop. 

Night brimmed the edge of the view outside the shop window, stars beginning to dot the sky. Logan and Patton exchanged one last laugh before Patton stood up, gathering his things. 

“Please take the painting, Lo,” Patton said, holding up the canvas to him. 

“I cannot seriously begin to understand why you would want me to have this,” Logan replied honestly. “It would fare much better in a more honourable display, perhaps a local exhibit or–

Patton shook his head, grabbing Logan’s hand and guiding it to the edge of the canvas. 

“It’s for you,” he said, more quiet and more soft. Logan felt almost electrified by the touch and said nothing, just tucked the canvas under his arm and nodded.

Patton turned to leave before stopping. 

“Oh! Nearly forgot this!” He fished a ticket out of his bag. “This is for next week’s art -venture.” 

“I insist on finding another name for what we’re doing.” 

“Nope! Already branded! Roman’s making t-shirts.” 

Roman nodded diligently. Logan rolled his eyes and took the ticket. 

“ ‘The Rom-Com...Comeback’,” Logan read aloud. He frowned. “I am confused.” 

“It’s a ‘throwback rom-com’ event at the cinema– the small one ‘round the corner!” A sheepish pause. “It’s less of an...‘intellectual’ art exploration.” 

“What does that mean?” 

“...It means we’re watching a movie with Adam Sandler in it.” 

“Absolutely not .” 

“But hijinks ensue!” Patton pleaded. “Come on, Lo. I know it’s not your usual rodeo but it is fun! And isn’t that the most important lesson that can be learned? A lesson about fun? ” 

“That is a complete stretch, Patton.” 

“How about I come with you? And I’ll treat you to ice cream or something.” He smiled. “Consider this me sweetening the deal.”  

A pause.

“...And this is next week?” 

“Ahh yay! That’s a yes!” Patton swung his arms over Logan’s shoulders before Logan could protest, wrapping him in a quick hug. “I’ll pick you up from here an hour or two before!”

“O...kay…” Logan felt his face go warm once more as Patton let go, waving at him as he left the store. The bells hanging over the door chimed as it closed. 

Logan stood there, almost dumbfounded, and pocketed the ticket. He looked up at the door Patton left through and felt a smile grow on his face. 

And suddenly, he wanted it to be next week. 

“Well, Roman, I suppose we’re going to have to find somewhere to hang this upsta–”

He turned to face the coffee table where he assumed Roman still was, but found nothing. He frowned, looking around the shop for any trace of him. 

“Roman?” 

Suddenly, he heard the muffled sound of a door closing coming from upstairs. His gaze darted to the staircase and he saw a trail of red magic leading up the stairs, presumably to the bedroom. He stared at it, not knowing what to make of it and Roman’s wordless departure; but a second later, he blinked, and then caught sight of Roman’s magic fading quietly into the air. 

…

(It isn’t easy, after all, to see someone glow without you.)

—

next chapter > 

[xianglingslesbian]

oh I'll give u a character alright: Izuki, Kiyoshi, Riko and Aomine <333 technically that's four, but what goes around comes around (I'll keep this circle of love goin forever buddy)

VICCCC ily my man <33 thank u!!! aight putting this under a cut bc it got long

Izuki

Why I like them: izuki’s just overall so amazing! he inspires me to give my best in the stuff i do, and although it sounds a bit silly i try to be a person that he’d be proud of. his puns are hilarious and well-thought-out (as a person who loves words and word jokes, i’m naturally drawn to him lol). they’re also a way to take the heat off the team, he’s so hardworking and never views obstacles as obstacles, rather as hills he must climb to find newer skies. he’s also rather clever and employs his brains to great effect when his body fails him! izuki embodies the meaning of ‘eagle’ in the truest sense - waiting to strike when the time is right and not failing when it is.

Why I don’t: *sweats* can��t really think of a reason i don’t like izuki, at all??? i guess he can overwork himself a lot and tends to keep his true emotions hidden which could lead to misunderstandings between friends (although this is totally headcanon territory lol)... i also didn’t like the ableist comment he passed on hayama (“i’m just glad you weren’t smarter than me”). but i think he can (and will!) grow from that kind of stuff, he is that kind of person so yeah no particular reason for me to dislike him at all

Favorite episode (scene if movie): how dare you make me pick s3 e8 izuki vs kasamatsu, hands down. i know its like cliche or whatever but that moment just told me so much about izuki as a character? he’s willing to do what it takes to win, he’s adaptable and dependable and he doesn’t let shit get him down ever. it’s gorgeous

Favorite season/movie: s3, he got some fantastic moments in there!! although i will say i loved the spotlighting he got in s1 in the seihō match

Favorite line: “Fear isn't a bad thing. There are some things that can only be done by cowards.” this is first of all such a nice thing to say. ‘fear is not bad’ is just... so fucking wise? keep in mind that this boy is 17, i’ve met 30 year olds who are less mature. secondly it feels like izu’s speaking from experience?? like he has a lot to be scared of, i’m sure. particularly of falling behind and being a burden to his teammates. but it’s that ‘cowardice’ that drives him to practice so so hard. that visceral terror of weighing on seirin is what pushes izuki beyond his limits - which is why here he can empathise with furi’s fear, and knows how best to employ it.

Favorite outfit: look i hate last game w/ a passion but that lil tie/shirt/hoodie thing he had going? that was literally so cute. izuki in general has a p great fashion sense but his last game outfit takes the cake <3

OTP: hyuuizu oh my god i could talk for years about them but since this post is gonna be very long i’ll refrain. just. they are perfect they are fucking perfect

Brotp: kiyoizu!! kiyoshi is izuki’s biggest enabler and i love that for him <3

Head Canon: izuki can be very very passive aggressive when he’s angry at someone/sad and gets cold and withdrawn. it’s not fun to experience but tbh if you upset him you probably deserve it

Unpopular opinion: izuki should’ve been naturally better in canon. it’s not fair to shaft him and give the ‘trier’ thing off to himuro. that being said i am p happy with who he is as a person

A wish: i want to know how izuki felt after middle school! izuki’s and riko’s backstory focuses so much on hyuuga its dumb >:( he also would’ve been demoralised but he didn’t quit bball and i would like to know his thought process!

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: i. uh. i guess izu quitting basketball. because i genuinely cannot see that happening. it brings him so much joy, he should never stop cold turkey. i can imagine old man izuki hobbling about a court giving little kids pointers and making them laugh T-T

5 words to best describe them: “big brain caffeine-powered clown baby” 

My nickname for them: babyzuki/izu/shunshun

Kiyoshi

Why I like them: lots of reasons! kiyoshi is an admirable person. he’s strong, yet friendly and gentle, and he loves his team above all else, which i just find beautiful. i find his manipulative side also pretty cool, bc it shows off how multifaceted he is.

Why I don’t: this is more of a fandom reason but i really dislike how kiyoshi is always said to have had the greatest impact in hyuuga’s story. he badgered and manipulated hyuuga, and while some may argue hyuuga needed that push, it only worked bc hyuuga had had time to think about shit. he’d also been given space by riko and izuki (two integral parts of his life whom the fandom looooves to sideline for uwu kiyo//hyuu). 

Favorite episode (scene if movie): yousen match (can’t pick the episodes)! i loved the backstory we got for kiyo vs mura and i loved how kiyoshi was willing to smile and play but also refused to lose. he truly stole the show despite kagami being the one to finally take down murasakibara, it was gorgeous <3

Favorite season/movie: s2 for sure. kiyoshi wasn’t allowed to shine much after yousen imo - all the focus was on hyuuga kagami and kuroko, and to a lesser extent izuki. not complaining, but yeah

Favorite line: “Let’s go have some fun.” i know it’s kinda cliche but i do love how kiyoshi’s always thinking about playing a good game and enjoying basketball. he wants to play because he loves it and as someone who loves a sport as much as kiyoshi loves b-ball, that love is so poignant and tender

Favorite outfit: practice clothes! kiyoshi looks great in pink <3

OTP: kiyohana. hateshipping amirite ;)

Brotp: kiyohyuu! i love them as friends so so much <3

Head Canon: kiyoshi is half-iranian on his mother’s side and is muslim. i won’t say too much because i am not muslim myself, i need to do more research into this but i’ve had this headcanon for quite a while now!

Unpopular opinion: he should be bullied more for the fact that his canon power is having yaoi hands

A wish: kiyo finds something he loves as much as b-ball. he can’t canonically play at this level again, so if he found another sport/competition/anything, it’d be amazing

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: he should never become demoralised. kiyoshi at heart is a dreamer, so let him dream, let him look towards tomorrow with a smile always

5 words to best describe them: “useless dreamy dumbass cheerleader clown”

My nickname for them: kiyoyo, bc my feelings about him have yo-yoed a lot lmao

Riko

Why I like them: im a lesbian, next. /j i love her because she’s so tenacious and driven. yet she’s also kind and gentle, and never loses her humanity. she cares, and she cares hard. she’s so fucking smart too like... coaching a hs basketball team at 17 against players of NBA calibre and making them win? i could never. seirin without riko is nothing.

Why I don’t: i dont like the constant slapstick of her beating up her boys. also, i dislike how the narrative forces her to act ‘feminine’ and then has the boys think of it as nothing. like first of all if someone like her offered me a kiss i would so take 100, and secondly... why is a girl’s worth so tied to her femininity? it’s awful

Favorite episode (scene if movie): her sending in furi vs kaijō, early in s3. it was an exceedingly smart move that could have only come from her knowing her players’ strengths and weaknesses intimately, and being a brilliant coach. just amazing <3

Favorite season/movie: all of them! riko has some amazing moments each season, so i can’t really pick

Favorite line: “Humans grow. Don't act like you understand when you don't even realize that!” here, riko knows and knows well that she is in her element. momoi might have the data, but riko understands adaptability and knows how to predict stuff. in that way, one can draw parallels between takao vs izuki and momoi vs riko: takao and momoi are recon experts, whereas riko and izuki are strategists. momoi uses raw data; riko manipulates the data to her advantage

Favorite outfit: idk if this is exactly an outfit but her glasses are so cute oh my gosh. (i’d kill to see her in a leather jacket tho)

OTP: rikomomo!!! i’m 100% sure that momoi’s fixation w/riko’s boobs is just... repressed lesbian sentiments. also sports girlfriends gimme

Brotp: hyuuizuriko. i hc that hyuuizu were tgt since elementary school and riko joined them in middle school so... childhood friends feels!

Head Canon: riko knows how to shoot a gun. her father owns one so it makes sense

Unpopular opinion: riko does not need to have bigger boobs in fanart. please stop sexualising a 17 year old girl

A wish: white suit riko please

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: her ever leaving behind sports in any way shape or form. it’s her thing. in the same vein, she should never have to change herself or become more traditionally feminine to be ‘appealing’

5 words to best describe them: perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect

My nickname for them: ai/riri

Aomine

Why I like them: aomine is just a pure, hurting young man that deserves help. he’s passionate, and his fire died down out of no fault of his own. that fire’s reignition through kagami is one of my favorite scenes <3

Why I don’t: he’s perverted as hell and i dislike that. it plays into the ‘brutish dark-skinned pervert’ stereotype which is yikes. also i thought we were done with pervs in anime

Favorite episode (scene if movie): s2 seirin v touou when kagami enters the zone!! aomine’s finally happy and it’s so amazing to watch <3

Favorite season/movie: s2, he finally got happiness and peace of mind

Favorite line: “You’re the best!” there’s just so much of pure joy in this line. he’s so so beside himself that he finally has someone he won’t destroy. kagami sees aomine the person, and that person is so happy, it’s beautiful

Favorite outfit: the leather jacket from the finale lmaooo he looked so cute

OTP: AOKAGA BABY i could write an essay tbh

Brotp: aomomo!! theyre such good friends and bi/lesbian solidarity too!

Head Canon: aomine cannot dance. he has stepped on kagami’s feet multiple times. he has also attempted to twerk when drunk. kuroko recorded the whole thing and uses it as blackmail in case the puppy eyes and “but aomine-kun you didn’t fist bump me back” don’t work

Unpopular opinion: more a fandom thing, but you all need to stop making aomine the aggressive/possessive top/‘seme’. it’s racist as fuck

A wish: aomine goes pro. it’ll be amazing for him, a huge challenge and kagami will be there too so its a win-win ;)

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: he quits again/b-ball loses its allure. aomine at heart is someone who needs passion to drive him so i just want that passion to always burn bright within him

5 words to best describe them: “bastard baby needs a hug”

My nickname for them: dai-chan, momoi rubbed off on me

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Fu Manchu

(WARNING! This analysis contains DISCUSSIONS OF OUTDATED RACIST STEREOTYPES! This analysis does not support or condone such things whatsoever and merely is here to analyze the cultural impact of the character!)

"Imagine a person, tall, lean, and feline, high-shouldered, with a brow like Shakespeare and a face like Satan, a close-shaven skull, and long, magnetic eyes of the true cat-green. Invest him with all the cruel cunning of an entire Eastern race, accumulated in one giant intellect, with all the resources, if you will, of a wealthy government—which, however, already has denied all knowledge of his existence. Imagine that awful being, and you have a mental picture of Dr. Fu-Manchu, the yellow peril incarnate in one man."

— The Mystery of Dr. Fu-Manchu (1913)

I think it really goes without saying that the late 19th century and early 20th century were deeply, incredibly racist. One such manifestation of the racism and xenophobia of the times was the villainous archetype known as the Yellow Peril. The so-called “Yellow Peril” is a caricature of eastern cultures, portrayed in a villainous light; the characters are diabolical criminal masterminds who tend to be geniuses, know kung fu, have mystical powers, command barbarian hordes, and dress like the most stereotypical dynastic noble you could imagine. Just think of every single cringeworthy Asian stereotype you can imagine, stuff it into one villainous package, and BOOM! You have yourself a Yellow Peril villain.

You’ve most definitely seen villains that fit some semblance of this trope. Lo Pan of Big Trouble in Little China and Long Feng from Avatar: The Last Airbender are notable examples (and ones that aren’t particularly problematic, as their works don’t rely on some white guy saving the day and instead have Asian heroes). But we’re not here to talk about them, oh no – we’re here to talk about the grandaddy of them all, the villain who codified the idea of a Yellow Peril villain to such… er, for lack of a better word, “perfection,” that even though he has somewhat faded from the public consciousness he has managed to continue inspiring villains up until the present day: Fu Manchu.

While not the first Yellow Peril villain, he is pretty much the face of it. He is what comes to mind when you envision such a villain, which may be because his cultural impact runs so deep – characters such as Batman’s nemesis Ra’s al-Ghul, the Iron Man foe The Mandarin, and James Bond baddie Doctor No among many others all draw inspiration from this legendary Devil Doctor. So what exactly is his deal that has made him such a problematic icon?

Motivation/Goals: So Fu Manchu’s goals started with him being a Chinese nationalist but eventually he moved into your standard world domination, with him developing over time into becoming a sort of noble criminal, a diabolical mastermind with some level of ethics, class, and standards; the man sent his nemesis gifts on his wedding day and always stuck to his word. This doesn’t seem like much now, but you gotta remember, this guy was one of the first big literary supervillains; you’ve gotta cut him a little slack.

Performance: So it is time to discuss the elephant in the room… not once in his long and storied history in film has Fu Manchu been portrayed by an actor of Chinese, Japanese, Korean, or Indian descent. Fu Manchu has always, always been portrayed by the worst possible option in every single case: a white guy in yellow face. Christopher Lee is perhaps the most well-known white man to play him in a serious work, portraying him in a series of films, though Boris Karloff portrayed him as well. 

Peter Sellers portrayed Fu in his last major cinematic appearance, though unlike most other examples that film – The Fiendish Plot of Dr. Fu Manchu – was a parody, which does at least take away a little bit of the bad taste.

The only valid white man portrayal is, of course, from the fake trailer for Werewolf Women of the S.S. As said fake trailer is a ridiculous sendup of exploitation films and trashy cinema in general, the inclusion of a white man playing the fiendish doctor is pretty much part of the joke – but it’s who they got that’s the real treat. We’ll get to that shortly, but before that…

It is honestly really disgusting that in the long history of this character, he has never once been portrayed by an Asian actor. You’d think at some point that someone might at least just cast any sort of Asian due to the unfortunate tendency to view Asian actors as interchangeable, but they couldn’t even do that.

Final Fate: Fu Manchu is notable because he always gets away, even if his plans are foiled; in fact, he’ll sometimes have plans within plans, so even when he loses, he still wins to some degree. But enough about his in-universe fate; let’s talk about the real world fate of the character, where Fu Manchu has a very odd legal status in terms of public domain.

While the first three books are in the public domain, some characters from later books are not considered part of the public domain, which has lead to situations such as Marvel’s Master of Kung Fu not being able to be reprinted for years. On top of this, as the character’s creator Sax Rohmer died in 1959, Fu Manchu is not in the public domain in Europe; this has led to him appearing but not being directly named in Alan Moore’s The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, where he is only referred to as “The Doctor” (amusingly, he goes up against Moriarty in that comic, the character he draws inspiration from).

Best Scene: In what is one of the very few non-offensive uses of the character, Fu Manchu is given a brief cameo in the trailer for Werewolf Women of the S.S. that shows up in the Rodriguez/Tarantino double feature Grindhouse, and he’s played by… well… just watch:

Final Thoughts & Score: Fu Manchu is an absolutely fascinating villain born out of incredibly problematic places.

There is absolutely no denying that Fu Manchu was created from a deeply racist place. It’s an unavoidable fact. There is no getting around it. Fu Manchu as a character was meant to demonize the Chinese, to the point where production of films based on him as well as the novels was halted in times of war when the Chinese were allies. These books, these stories, are all extremely problematic by the standards of today.

But with that being said… who, exactly, is the title character? Do you know, without looking it up, who the hero who Fu Manchu antagonizes is, the Holmes to his Moriarty? This is Fu Manchu’s series, and throughout it he projects an air of intelligence, sophistication, and even honor that you wouldn’t expect would be afforded to a character such as him. As far as racist propaganda goes, an extremely charitable person could be able to call this “progressive” in some regard. Positive discrimination is a step up from regular discrimination, right? Again, there’s really no getting around the glaring problems with the character and his origins, but the fact Fu Manchu is one of the first supercriminals in literature and manages to just be unflinchingly cool to the point where you’ll probably end up rooting for him over the bland white protagonists says something for how utterly racism fails when it manages to make the object of its derision infinitely cooler than the race it’s trying to prop up as superior.

By my own criteria, Fu Manchu could only be an 11/10. I can’t deny how much of an impact, for better or for worse, the fiendish doctor has had on pop culture, to the point where he gave his name to and subsequently killed off a variety of facial hair, a feat only matched by Hitler. But this comes with a disclaimer: I cannot stress enough that Fu Manchu is deeply and inherently problematic on a conceptual level, and that despite how genuinely cool and fascinating he is in the right hands it doesn’t and cannot erase that his original purpose was to demonize the Chinese and Asian cultures. He also managed to help perpetuate yellowface and helped to popularize cliches that have plagued Asian villains to this day. While many in his wake have still managed to be cool and engaging in their own right, it really cannot be said how this character has a very complex history. Has he done more bad than good? That’s not for a white guy like me to determine; I’m merely here to determine the overall quality of the villain and determine their impact, and Fu Manchu undeniably has impacted culture. It would be wrong and disingenuous to break my own rules to give him a lower rating due to his problematic elements, but at the same time I cannot sit here and pretend they do not exist.

I would love to see the day where Fu Manchu can be reclaimed to some extent. Look at Shang-Chi, for example; the (at this time) upcoming Marvel film is set to feature the Fu Manchu-inspired Mandarin as a major character, and he is set to be played by Tony Leung Chiu-wai, a Hong Kong actor. If one of the characters inspired by him can get portrayed by an Asian actor, perhaps someday in the future Fu Manchu can be reclaimed from his racist origins and given the respectful treatment he deserves. Fu Manchu is a character that is in many ways accidentally incredible and iconic. Born from horrendous racism, and yet the racist screeds depicting him always somehow manage to prop him up as the best character in the lot… it’s the paradox of racist thought, to go so far in demonizing their target they manage to make them more interesting and engaging than the generic protagonists. Fu Manchu is a truly great villain mired in the problems of the time he was created; in the right hands, great work could be done with him.

Bottom line is: Rob Zombie, get Nicolas Cage on the phone and start filming Werewolf Women of the S.S.

[mamusings]

Supernatural Season 1 Thoughts

So I'm rewatching mainly to distract myself from the dogs breakfast the show has descended into. But also because my feelings about the show as a whole are decidedly mixed. I come to it as a buffy fan. I've always been curious about spn as a successor show to buffy, but only watched thr first 13 seasons in 2020. Blame lockdown.

Anyway s1. Blinding start, blinding finish. But the middle is just too many MOTW episodes without enough season arc development. I keep wondering who the show is for. It feels aesthetically very male. Lots of blood, guns and violence. Well-realised horror feel - although I think it's hard to really feel fear when you dont particularly care about who might die. It's only when you threaten a major character death that things hit harder. Also the genuflecting to realism by drawing on urban myths feels like something for stereotypically 'male' rather than 'female'. Probably reflects my preferences that I was never to into the MOTW format some buffy fans loved and that I was always more interested in the story telling than realism or even consistency. Monsters as metaphors works better for me. But Spn is a much more cloistered universe. Two guys and their absent father is what s1 is about. But it dits weirdly between being comfort viewing and needing attention. There's much that starts to feel formulaic with MOTW episodes: Impala on the road scene, some rock music, an opener that gives you a new mystery and people to go with it blah blah. You can practically set your watch by the final denouement happening in the final 8 mins. It feels like the show is diligently checking off every myth and monster going which gets tedious. I found the need for setting up yet another family in danger was something that gets hard to care about. "Oh look a couple, someone's gonna die, shall I fast forward until sam and dean show up." And yet there are some interesting undercutting of the white working class vibe the show has. Two that stand out to me are: the 'female gazing' of the camera work off Sam and Dean. There's a lot of panning - are we getting in the boys with the guns and hardware and then offering up the handsome male bodies for women? I felt a little cheap, but they they are v cute. The other is having a black/bi racial woman play Dean's only serious love interest. The ghost truck thing is terrible but putting attitudes to race at the centre of this particular storyline was intriguing. Perhaps a counter balance to the overall wwc feel of things. (Full disclosure I am a black woman and I enjoyed seeing this - even tho I did have several moments of wondering was the predominant female look so uniform back then. All the girls have the same build (and did we all wear such low rise jeans?) plus long, wavy/curly hair...except Meg who basically has Sam's hairstyle ha ha)

What's impressive? The first few episodes give us a cluster of core lines: bitch/jerk, no chick flick moments, and the sibling dynamic This show hits its stride right in the pilot and wendigo is still one of the scarier episodes. Thats a really good opening shot imo.

It's no surprise that what's really riveting is Sam and Dean. But on rewatching I saw a lot more on why this is so interesting. Basically when the characters are introduced you first get Sam. He's your archetypal nice guy whis hot everything though for him. Stanford, girlfriend, friends, great test score but also and crucially hes likeable. Then you get Dean and hes introduced as a dick. Breaks in, wrestles Sam, comes on to/is sleazy with Sams gf. So cocky bad boy: check.

In the pilot dean is the annoying big brother to a t. So they set up two contrasting personalities. Dean is disrespectful to cops, Sam is embarrassed by it. Dean is into hunting, Sam is unwillingly persuaded. Dean is insensitive, Sam kinder and sweet. Dean plays dumb, Sam's the academic achiever. But what we witness over the course of the season essentially reverses this. Sam's the real rebel defying his father, Dean the obedient son. Dean gets a lot of scenes showing him make swift emotional connections esp with children or people in caretaker roles. Dean's very adult 'I'm 26 of course I go on hunts alone' is unmasked by the fact he gets Sam to help him because hes lonely. And Dean (often clumsily) tries to help Sam move on about Jess and open up about his nightmares. While the explicit dialogue casts Sam as the geeky loser brother what we see in this season is that the loser is actually Dean. Sam has friends, Sam has a relationship, Sam has a life he wants to get back to. Dean has no one and some of the hardest emotional hits this season are when his mask is lifted to show us just that. For instance shape shifter Dean voices his jealousy in Skin. Also Azazel taunts Dean about how he needs Sam and John in a way that they dont need him.

The closing episodes really bring some of these contrasts home. Dead Mans Blood gives us a great bonding scene between Sam and John, for me that's a moment where it falls into place that they so much in common that it leaves Dean on the outside. They both loved women they lost to a demon. For both of them (at this stage) the mission, as in killing this demon, matters more than family. Its Dean who constantly prioritises family, even while his family deprioritise him. Both Sam in Salvation and John in Devils Trap put sacrificing themselves to kill the demon as their first priority. Whereas Dean consistently argues for family, first persuading John that they are stronger together, then telling Sam that the three of us 'is all I have' in Salvation. The point gets hammered home in Devils Trap where Dean says (in case the stupid viewer missed it "you and Dad are a lot more alike..cant wait to sacrifice yourselves, but I'm going to be the one to bury you").

Much of the rest of the relationship development is about showing us the partnership Sam and Dean are developing. You see increasing ease in working together - maybe most cliched in how they toss weapons back and forth in Hell House. Plus that interesting sibling dynamic when you love someone and find them intensely annoying that feels enjoyable even if your own sibling relationship is nothing like it.

But what's interesting is that while Dean's character is revealed throughout the season. You see through the episodes the difference between his Dean presents himself and hiw he is, but dean doesn't change. Hes immature and emotionally driven I'd also savvy and brave. Its Sam who changes. Not in how he is, but in his priorities. Sam realises the good bit about Dean among the stuff that irritates him. But most importantly the final episode shows us Sam moving from thinking the mission is what matters just like John. To thinking his family matters more. He doesnt shoot Azazel inside John and when John berates him for it his look at the bloodied-up Dean in the rearview mirror speaks volumes.

It's all the more striking because thus argument has been the core dilemma for the last 3 episodes. It's also the crux of how Dean, for all his obedience, sees himself as falling short of who his father wants him to be. He cant turn his heart off. Its Dean who calls his dad sounding like a tearful little boy in Home. It's when John approves of him making the heart choice and using the colt to save Sam, that Dean realises it's not his father but Azazel speaking. I find that painful to watch it's been so well set up. You get lots of preview of Dean really wanting approval and when it finally comes and you're all ahh fsmily bonding, Dean puts it together and goes you're not my father. Ouch.

Absent fathers and eventually I guess an absent God is a big spn theme. So there is something to say for looking at it in this season. John's absence is the driver of the whole season. But it's also the foundation stone of both Sam and Dean's character. What we get most of in s1 is a sense of the impact of his fathers absence on Dean. The childhood neglect, but also the absence of approval. My European background always makes it jarring when children address their father as sir so I hope I'm not over reading this. When John gets back the way it emasculates Dean is jarring. The jumping to attention with the yessirs and the following orders is such a distance from the cocky law breaker. Its interesting that the first scenes in which I recall the boys speaking in unison are these yessirs. But the scene I remember most is a trivial one, Dean offers John a machete out of Babys messy looking trunk - hes already been pulled up by dad for inadequate car maintenance. But John pulls a bigger, better, cleaner machete out of his high spec truck - Dead Mans Blood. Sums it up for me. Dean is so eager for approval, his father withholds it so casually. Sam is less like this, because he had Dean to parent him however ineptly. Sam did not have a hoid parent in Dean, but Dean showed up. Sam starts to make that realisation in season 1 and there are a few thank you moments. Contrast Dean's only outburst against his father when hes admonished to call when in trouble. He takes a leaf out of Sam's book and notes that they did call in Lawrence and they called when Dean was dying in Faith, hes angry and rightly so. John didn't show. But its interesting that Dean's fight with John sounds like a child fighting with a parent. It even ends with 'I dont care for your tone' from John even as he accepts Dean's point. Constrast Sam and John who have a much deeper ongoing disagreement. But Sam fights his father from an adult position. He's not looking for approval or acceptance, Sam claims his ground, argues his point. Dean still just needs to be loved.

But as well as the impact of the absent parent there is also having grown beyond the parent. I feel like the final few episodes show us that 'the boys' have surpassed their father. John's fake colt idea is lame and Dean calls it. By contrast the devils trap at Bobby's to catch Meg feels like a moment of brilliance particularly as the trap is sprung on the viewer so we feel surprised too.. Sure they call in help from Bobby, but what they do is well planned and they pull it off. And calling in helo when you need it us grown up.

Theres an element of fate vs character exploration when it comes to Sam and Dean. What happens to Sam is fate. It's not related to how he is or how he behaves. We find that out more fully soon. Whereas what happend to Dean relates to his character. IMO Dean actually has the option of walking away from hunting that Sam tried to exercise. Unlike Sam, hunting wouldn't have pursued Dean by killing his girlfriend. But Dean's character means he doesnt chose to walk away because family is important to him, in a way that it isn't for Sam until the end of this season. Its interesting that Sam perceives of himself as having choices he doesn't have. Whereas Dean sees himself as having no choice, when in fact he does. But I guess we don't know that yet so maybe the argument doesn't work?

#supernatural #sam #dean #winchester

[jungkooks-left-tiddie]

I hope you get run by a fucking aeroplane ❤️

Warnings:  Mild cursing, Old men being assholes.

Word Count: 2.8k words

Kavya

August 27th, 2020; 6:30pm

New Delhi, India. 

"Is the editing for the new manuscript done?" Kavya leaned down to assess the work that was being done. 

"It's coming along well, ma'am. Just cleaning up the text." The intern gave her a nervous smile.

 "That's good to hear." She said, going through the progress that the editing department had made. "Be sure to crosscheck after you're done editing." 

"Yes, ma'am!" Just then, Kavya's secretary came rushing in.

"Ma'am you have a meeting with the Illustration Team in a few minutes," Kavya glanced at her watch and frowned upon realising that she didn't have much time to make it across the building to the main conference room. 

"Thank you, Mitra. Just hand me my iPad and I'll be off." Kavya briskly walked to the room where the meeting was meant to be held, greeting the workers passing by. 

"Ma'am, the cover design team is ready with their designs," Rachel, the head of the cover design department dressed Kavya.

"Wonderful! I'll ask Mitra to schedule a meeting when I'm free," Kavya paused, glancing at her schedule, "Actually, could you please e-mail it to me?" Rachel smiled gently.

"Of course we can, I'll make sure you get the updated presentation with the notes and all of the other requirements as well." 

"Thank you so much; you honestly have no idea how much you've helped me today." Kavya shook her hand and hugged her for a moment. 

"Of course. I understand how much stress you're under, the least I could do is help you out!" Rachel smiled yet again. 

"Rachel, you're a life-saver and I would love to stay and chat, but I've got to get going to the Illustration Team's meeting," 

"Of course," Rachel made shooing motions with her hands, "Off you go!" Kavya laughed and ran towards the direction of the main conference room. 

"Ma'am you're here!" The head of the illustration team, a man in his mid-40's named Mohammad Aamir smiled and shook her hand. 

"Thank you very much Mr Mohammad. I'm truly excited to see what you have planned for today." 

"Oh I assure you, Ms Agarwal, you will not regret trusting Mr Mohammad's department this time," Two of the workers in the marketing department took their seats as Aamir gestured one of his workers to begin the presentation.

Kavya took out her iPad and started noting down the small changes and corrections that needed to be made. This launch was going to be one of the biggest events in the history of her company and she needed to make sure that everything was immaculate, including the character drawings that would be included in this particular book. 

"We initially had a bit of a dilemma deciding what features this character should have; but we managed to get through all of it and decided upon 5 main options," The character designs were on display, impressing Kavya as these were much better than she expected. 

"We have also included 5 sub-designs, for a more variety of options," The worker turned to face the board members in the meeting room, 

"It's also worth mentioning that we have designed a variety of expressions, postures, and costume; keeping in mind the aesthetic impact and its significance to the storyline,"

"We have constructed the design for the costumes in the locations after carefully studying the different kinds of clothing worn by the locals and also not forgetting the cultural significance of the clothes and accessories," He flipped to the next slide. Kavya was thoroughly impressed until now, but of course, all good things come to an end.

"So as you can see here, the inspiration for the design of the diving gear was inspired by the modern-day swimsuits, focusing especially on the plunging necklines—"

"Pardon my interruption, but why does the diving gear look like a swimsuit? I thought I put special emphasis on the fact that the scene consisted of the characters going scuba diving?" The person presenting the PowerPoint looked uncomfortable under Kavya's piercing gaze. 

"Yes, but isn't this what women wear for swimming?" 

"They do, but this is what women wear when we're talking about beaches and swimming pools; not when they're going 140 feet underwater. Do you not know what scuba diving is?" 

"Yes, ma'am; but actually—"

"Ms Agarwal, are you not overreacting? It's a great marketing point. I mean swimwear is swimwear, am I right?" Gopal Das, a pesky man on the marketing team snickered, clearly proud of his seemingly intelligent statement. 

"Mr Das, It seems that your age has dwindled down your common sense. I'm sure all of you present here know that scuba divers have to wear protective gear to make sure they survive the pressure that the water exerts at that deep of a level. I'd like to see you dive in the Bay of Bengal with nothing but your underwear. Should be easy, right?" That seemed to shut the man up, but of course, sexist fuckers are everywhere. 

"I agree with Gopal sir, this-" The man said, pointing towards the pathetic excuse for a scuba diving suit, "Is a great attention point. People want this."  He crossed his pudgy hands. 

"I have said it before and I will say it again," Kavya took a deep breath and looked at them angrily. "I'm not going to compromise knowledge over what you claim are marketing points. I have made it clear time and time again on why design accuracies are important; and I stand by my statements." Kavya tried to convey her point in the most diplomatic way possible, but these two dumbasses were really testing her patience. 

"Well, we will not compromise sales to something as trivial as a mere swimsuit," 

"I agree with Mr. Roberts. It seems to me that you are letting your personal experiences get in the way of what could've been a successful launch!" If Kavya was mad before, she was absolutely furious now. 

"Mr Das, Mr Roberts, that's enough." The stern voice of Aamir snapped her out of her rage. 

"Let me make one thing crystal clear. So as long as you are in this company, you will not promote objectification. It's not that hard to think from the brain and not your genitalia." She glared at the two men. 

"To answer your previous statement Mr Das; yes. My experiences are getting in the way. So are the millions of people who constantly face the same issues." 

"Do you want to know what I think Mr Das?I think you and Mr Roberts are letting your personal fetishes come in the way of what otherwise was a great illustration. It's honestly not that hard to keep your perverted tendencies to yourself. And if you refuse to follow basic human decency; we'd be extremely glad to find a replacement." She had enough of their boomer heterosexual bullshit. 

"Now if you'd excuse me," She gathered her things and exited the room in fury. To think that she had hoped men would change; but as always, they continued to disappoint her (Like they do in bed). 

"Ma'am, wait!" The person presenting the PowerPoint came up to her. "I'm sorry for the disappointing design of the diving gear today. I wanted to use a complete different idea, and a much more humane and accurate one, but Gopal sir insisted that I use that for better marketing," He apologised, bowing his head slightly. 

"It's ok, uhhhh..." 

"Pavan, ma'am."

"Right. It's ok Pavan. I'm glad you are one of the few people in the illustration team with basic human decency. I understand your position, and I'm glad that you approached me. I also first-handedly know how much of a douchebag Gopal is," Kavya smiled slightly, hoping to ease some of his nerves. 

"Thank you so much Ma'am! I promise I won't disappoint you next time!" He bowed. 

"You better not. I have seen your skills, and you're far too creative and talented to let a person like Gopal boss you around." She patted his shoulder, smiling when he thanked her repeatedly. 

"Yes, Ms Agarwal," Aamir walked up to the both of you, looking extremely down, "I apologise for the way Mr Das and Mr Roberts spoke this meeting. It was completely out of line and disrespectful of them. I assure you, if I had known of this issue--"

"Mr Mohammad you don't have to apologise," Kavya smiled at him. "It wasn't your fault, so you must stop blaming yourself. I know those two men disturbed the flow of the meeting, but I stand by my previous comment. Pavan here," She looked at the employee, who was a little flustered, "Had amazing designs up his sleeves and the presentation overall was not bad."

"I think we can definitely improve some of them, but the inspiration, cultural and locational significances were completely accurate," Aamir looked a little bit happier after that statement. "I have noted down the changes that need to be made, and if you could e-mail this presentation to me, I would gladly note them down in the respective areas so you and your team could correct it." Pavan nodded enthusiastically. 

"I will send it to you very shortly ma'am."

"Excellent! I'm afraid I must go now," Kavya frowned a little.

 "Of course Ma'am. It was an honour talking to you,"

Kavya couldn't be more happier that  she that she could finally go home. Those last 30 minutes in the conference room were the most exhausting 30 minutes in the entire month. And suffice to say, she was ready to flop down on her bed and take a much-deserved nap.  Of course she knew that she had a shit ton of work to finish before sleeping, but the thought of doing it in the comforts of her home gave her something to look forward to. 

"Tired?" Maya Patel, her friend and CEO of Patel Publications, leaned against the doorframe.

"You have no fucking idea," Kavya started packing her stuff, getting ready to leave. 

"How was the meeting?"

"The most irritating meeting I've ever been to. Two hours of amazing illustrations and all of that had to come to an end because of two old men's perverted tendencies. 30 minutes of continuous sexism and objectification does things to one's brain." 

Maya looked like she'd smelled something nasty. "It was that bitch, Gopal; wasn't it"

"Yes, but this time he had a little minion. It's that other guy you hate, Kevin Roberts."

"Ugh," Maya made a puking face- "I hate them both so much, I always wanted to kick their pathetic asses out. And now my dream is finally coming true!" They laughed. 

"But seriously. I am going to fire them. There have been way too many complaints about them in general and I finally have the proof I need."

"Oh when you do fire them, please invite me so I can record that shit in full HD," Kavya walked inside the elevator, Maya following shortly behind. 

"No, because you will go on a vacation. That I asked you to go to." Maya crossed her arms. 

"More like forced me to go on one," Kavya snorted, but stopped once she noticed the stern expression on Maya's face.

"Ok look, I'll take a vacation when I want to," Kavya made her way to the parking lot where her Kia K5 was parked. 

"Besides, you need the new manuscript, right?" She smiled at Maya, who shook her head and smiled lightly. 

"I do, but that doesn't mean I don't want you to take a short break. It's concerning how much stress you take up. I just want you to relax" 

"Ok, I'll think about it. For now, I just want to go home and take a long nap," Kavya switched on the radio and set out on the road, noticing how most streets were suspiciously empty.

'That's weird,' She thought, 'The streets in Delhi are never empty.' She brushed it off and flipped through the radio stations to find the ones that played old songs, her personal favourite. 

The peaceful melodies of the retro songs calmed her on her drive back home. They were the kind of songs that put you in such a trance that you don't know where the time flew by. And of course, very shortly, she parked her car in her buildings allotted parking space. 

She greeted the security guard who was on patrol and entered the elevator. After entering the passcode to her apartment, she directly went to the fridge to get some cool water.  

Kavya then tossed her blazer and purse aside, ran to the bedroom, flopped on the bed and groaned loudly. Paying no mind that her lipstick would most likely stain the towel she had lain on the bed.

"I better freshen up," She sighed and went to complete her nighttime routine, which just consisted of taking a long hot shower and doing her 7-step skincare routine. After which she folded her clothes and tossed some of them in the washing machine. 

A late-night snack was well due, as Kavya did not have her dinner yet; and of course, Red Wine is a must!

"11pm chicken sandwiches are the best," She munched on her sandwich as she scrolled through her twitter to see what her friends shitposted today. 

She doubled in laughter over Maggie's posts, nearly choking on lettuce. Eventually she calmed down and filled herself in the news and gossip she's missed out on. 

"This is the best time of the day," She told herself as she read the texts she'd received today. 

The conversation seemed like it had no end to it, so Kavya skimmed it until she saw herself tagged. 

To say that she thought about it would be an understatement. Kavya had no clue for how long she sat there thinking about the road trip before the notification of the email brought her back. She slapped her face a few times to prepare herself for all the work she had to finish.

The entirety of the next 4 hours was spent in Kavya carefully noting down every single detail and making the necessary changes. And soon enough it was 3 am and she was finally done with both the cover design and the character designs. Throughout these 4 hours, however, the only thing on her mind was that road trip idea her friends were talking about.

So she made up her mind. Kavya quickly emailed the corrections she'd made in both the documents. And dialled Maya's number.

"Heyy, Maya? Remember that vacation you were talking about? I'm going to take it."

[gravityfissure]

[meta] What, if any, games, movies, books, tv shows, etc. have you drawn influence from for your character?

Okay so round 2, much in the same vein for Arthur there are... A lot. Possibly even more things that influence and inspire where Otto’s muse and views comes from. That said in writing this there are also a LOT of similarities between the characters I can pick out certain attributes and to be honest there’s a lot of crossover with the traits and characterisations highlighted.

Namely: playful and proactive, self-serving yet loyal to those that meet his criteria as to who is deserving of it. A grifter by nature that will approach almost any situation if he feels he’ll get something out of it while equally hoping that one day someone might actually bother to ask him (and maybe give him a true reason) to stay.

Dorian - Dragon Age: Inquisition

Uh, the heir of a famous magical dynasty? A flair of magical talent that made him the envy of his peers? Studied at one of the best colleges for the magical arts before being kicked out and privately tutored before eventually vanishing and being found by Magister Gereon Alexius who offered to take him as his apprentice eventually becoming a fully-ranked enchanter. A pariah for opposing every fault his homeland is renowned for?

It’s been years since I’ve played DA:I and Dorian always was one of my favourite characters but tbh I completely forgot his background and it’s only in revisiting it now I actually realise the similarities in the framework of their characters/development/story line. Not to mention the fact they both enjoy playful flirtation and witty banter and oppose the things they don’t fit into their view of the world. They will probably do the right thing, but that doesn’t mean they might not take their sweet ass time in actually getting into a situation.

Isabela - Dragon Age II and Inquisition 

AND AGAIN. Isabela’s a great character - a pirate scourge of coastlines and nations around the world who values fun, freedom and getting ahead in life. They both value solving situations in clever and devious ways and getting ahead even if it means being somewhat selfish when they’re dealing with other people, example: Otto conning Deirdre out of $28k when she tried to cover for Regan or those plans he has to try and record a banshee scream? They’re both always down for trying to squeeze that little bit extra out of a person. If it one ups them in life and people are gullible enough to fall for it well... They really did it to themselves didn’t they?

But that doesn’t mean there aren’t depths to that hardened persona they both present. There are actual feelings and things hidden behind the wall and appearance they both present to the world. And underneath it all they’re both afraid of being left behind, but figure it’s best to push people away before they decide to leave of their own volition. At least that way they can say they have some control over the situation.. 

Sera - Dragon Age: Inquisition

Apparently this is a DA characters list but you know what sue me. x) So NEXT on the list is Sera, an elven archer who is incredibly impulsive and reactionary. She takes pure delight in humbling the established authority she views as arrogant and selfish. It’s less about what’s right in the grand scheme of things but more about what’s right in that very moment. She doesn’t believe in actions taken for a greater good, instead viewing it as just another excuse to hurt others undeserving of such treatment because it’s easier than making the truly hard choices in life. 

Felix Dawkins - Orphan Black

Look Felix is one of the many fascinating characters on Orphan Black. Don’t get me wrong there are SO many and it’s a great show. But Felix is a character whose very existence proves that you can have a very effeminate, boisterous, loud, witty gay character and not have him be limited to the perpetuation of the sassy gay friend stereotype. Why? Because he has a whole complex personality beyond just that aspect of his life. He’s got to deal with real life issues on top of all the drama clone club brings into his life and he deals and he survives and he cOPES.

Not to mention he’s a positive representation of foster children being happy, positive representation of LGBTQ+ characters and gives positive representation of sex workers. Not to mention on top of all that representation you see how he’s smart as hell, the only person who knows Sarah well enough to keep her on track. The BEST uncle to Kira and one of the most supportive characters on the show. 

Sarah - Orphan Black

Felix’s foster-sister, another character that shows the positive and complex dynamic that foster families tend to have while also demonstrating the fascinating found-family dynamic with clone club. Sarah’s interesting because she’s a natural chameleon, she’s street-smart and tough, a born outsider living on the fringes by her wits while in possession of a dark sense of humour that sees her by.

Sarah and Otto have a rather morally ambiguous compass, they’re both characters who swing between being very self-serving and selfish and acting for the greater good when they decide it’s needed. Not to mention the act as if they don’t care about other people’s issues (see clone club) when actually it transpires they both might just care a little more than they actually let on.

Garcia Flynn - Timeless

Unfortunately Garcia fits the my favourite character type: tall, dark, snarky, sassy antihero motivated fiercely by love and willing to do things of questionable morality against a greater evil, self-aware and doesn’t make excuses for his behaviour, but isn’t wringing his hands over it either.  A character who so dearly loves the people in his life (see revenge for his wife and daughter) so much so he’s still fighting for them 5 years later just to be alive and not even to have anything to do with him again because he knows the things he’s done are enough the he could never go back to being that person for them. The man who loved his mum and went on a trip just to make her happy and save his brother. When he truly cares for someone he does EVERYTHING for them while somehow having none of the toxic jealous possessive business, despite his  well-attested Garbage Drama in other departments, and just generally being a mature adult and an essentially good person who has gone down some really dark places and is finally rediscovering what he’s buried and lost. Look man, I’m a suuuuuuuuuuuuucker for found family, enemies to lovers, and villain becomes weird family member. And he covers all of those, so yes. 

There’s a lot of that I’m planning and drawing on for Otto, this weird currently antagonistic little self-serving shit who is out for his own ends but maybe along the way finds some semblence of a conscious and maybe has a fair few moral dilemmas and self-questioning moments along the way? Who maybe finds friends (and even love?) Who has to deal with FEELINGS and things he’s repressed for years because of the things he’s done just to survive the life he fell into? Uh, yes give me give me give me.

Jesse Custer - Preacher

Okay, so this one’s kind of another given. Jesse’s another character I’m fascinated with because before Genesis’ arrival he was a down upon his luck preacher. A man who was trying so hard to fit into his dad’s ideal and not let the life he had before affect his day to day. Except it all goes to hell in a handbasket because of course it does.

Jesse essentially gains the ability to make anyone do anything he says. And that power? It’s addictive, and we see the struggle he goes through to learn how to control and manipulate it to his own end. To begin with he tries to right wrongs, to tell people to stop doing the bad things they’re doing in their lives and fix them so they’re better people but with each act that power and god-complex grows. It goes to his head until we meet the moronic messiah Humperdoo and Jesse eventually agrees to take his place. The messiah-complex and power corruption is complete, and the repercussions of his choices are devastating especially with how they impact Cassidy or Tulip and the repercussions in Angelville.

Much like Otto’s own magic, the more its used the more enticing it is to carry on using it for more and more things. At first it was small deeds, little acts of good until Otto in kind started to realise that good deeds weren’t enough to make a change. They weren’t enough for other people around him and with each act it grew and grew - and it continues to grow. The question is to what level? And if it ever got out of control, would he ever know how to stop it?

Crowley - Good Omens

An overall non-threatening demon, who tries to be “evil” in his own way to fit into the role his society (other demons) expect of him. Crowley wants to save the world (for his own reasons) and can be rather self-serving in certain moments. There’s plenty of times he tried to convince Aziraphale to run away with him and let everything else forgive the irony but for lack of a better term “go to hell” but he always comes around in the end (typically to a Queen track) to help when it really counts for something.

 Not to mention his flare for the dramatic, very rarely thinking things through, with many of his own plans backfiring on him.  

Sound familiar?

Wrench - Watch Dogs 2

Part-hacker and full-fledged anarchist who wears a freaky mask with LED displays capable of bizarre emoticons. He's vulgar, crude, entertaining and an absolute adrenaline junkie who lives on the edge. He's jokingly called the wrench because he's the wrench you throw into somebody's gears to grind them to a halt.

The final one on the list, because it’s a side I haven’t yet played into so much but I’m curious to given means and opportunity to. Otto does have some inclination towards an anarchistic nature, if a system doesn’t seem to work he isn’t afraid to speak out or more likely act out against it. Whether it’s in the greater good or not isn’t so much relevant rather that he would happily take a torch and burn something to the ground if it meant starting again with something new and better in its place. It’s definitely something I want to explore more down the line.

I also find it interesting the whole concept of “hiding behind a mask” which is something wrench quite literally does. Both have built personas to defend themselves from people breaking through and seeing that what actually exists on the other side is a rather shy and awkward person who tries to “act out” and be “dramatic” in an attempt to get attention from a world in which there’s so much noise how could anyone ever feel like their voice mattered let alone be heard unless they started shouting “HEY, LOOK AT ME” at the top of his lungs?  

[twolovesjinyoung]

JJ Project is the music duo of jyp entertainment though this group did not have a long life time, they are now apart of Got7. Verse 2# was the reunion album they made just for fans. After this album though sadly they decided to not resign their contract, having this be the last album JJ Project has made. IM Jaebeoms is the leader of Got7, and Park Jinyoung is one of the vocalist of Got7 But he is also an actor.

Now to get into the review

———————————

Coming Home

~Instrumental

I really love how they chose to have live instruments for this song, it gives the whole song a different feeling. The bass part is very strong throughout the whole song, its very groovy and keeps you hooked. I liked how in the beginning it started off with a light waking up kinda tone and then the base kicks in when jaebum starts to sing. It’s a very simple method of writing but it works so well you wanna brake apart every part of the song

~Lyrics

The song is about a couple who haven’t seen each other in a while, hence why its called coming home. I think its very sweet, the verses talk about the struggle of waiting till the next day to see someone and how it feels like forever before you can see the one you love the most. My favorite line is

“Even if the night air is too cold

I thought of you who would wait outside

That’s how I endured and came this far

Now let’s never let go

The promise of seeing you when tomorrow comes

Becomes a lie

Just when I’m about to lose strength, I wake up

I wish I can escape from my dreams now”

It’s just a very cute song, its very simple but refreshing and impactful from what the norm is for kpop songs

~Album song placment

I think its perfect that they put is as the first song on the album considering that the second song “Tomorrow,Today” is the title song they flow into each other very nicely.

내일, 오늘 Tomorrow, Today

~instrumental

The song is also has live instruments in it too, its a very light hearted tone music wise. I feel like I’m going on a road trip lol. Theirs not much to say about the instruments though its a basic pop/rock groove music wise, but it suits the lyrics quite well.

~Lyrics

The lyrics in this song are actually very relatable and kinda heavy. They talk about the hard ships of growing up and choosing what to do in the future. Especially when your just leaving high school or college and you don’t know what the next step is. It’s kinda like how could I choose what to do with my whole life when I’ve experienced so little. A line in the song that really expresses that is,

“Why must I decide about tomorrow, today?

How should I know what tomorrow will bring?

My path and my dreams are fading

If I could turn back time and see my future

I would know which way to go

I would know where my path is”

Or this line

“Again today, there are questions I don’t know

I’m trying to answer but I’m not confident

Is it this way or that way?

I’m afraid of my decision

With an anxious heart heart heart heart

I’m standing in front of the next next next choice

Between paths that I’ve never gone on before

How can I find my way?

I’m afraid, day by day”

It’s very impactful though when Jinyoung sings “is it this way or that way” combined with the instrumental in the back. Honestly felt like crying its a great song.

~Album song placement

I think its a perfect title song sense its the second song on the album I’m happy put it as the second song because the flow from the first song to this lyric wise and instrumental wise is very prefect they did a really good job and I recommend everyone listen to this song with the lyrics.

On&On

~Instrumental

This song is very upbeat, just like the first song its very groovy but it doesn’t feel repetitive it suits the rest of the album very well. It has live instruments, the guitar in the beginning gives a very groovy vibe. I like the way its just Jinyoungs voice and a little bit of piano but the very strong guitar right off the bat. I love the clapping build up into the chorus when the main guitar melody comes back in its very powerfull. Overall the instrumental is beautiful.

~Lyrics

The lyrics for this song are low key very depressing haha, but its also very relatable. The song talks about society’s pressures on people to conform to the norms. They also talk about how people have their own standard for what they wanna achieve in their lives and others shouldn’t dictate what someone else does with their life. On of the lines that really sick out is this one

“I don’t know

If the path I’m on is the right one

I’ll find everything out at the end of it

When you get used to the dark,

You can start to see the path

There’s no answer but why are you making me

Look in the same place?”

But the song is very clever cause they say “On&On life goes on” like you gotta just do your own thing and not care what others are doing or what other people want you to do. Like the line says, “On&On life goes on, just put your glasses on” and I think its a very nice message

~Album song placment

I think it was perfect that they chose this to go after Tomorrow,Together because the themes are very simillar, like not knowing what to do with your life and its all scary and makes you anxious. But in the end you just gotta do what you gotta do and live your life the way you want.

Icarus

~Instramental

I love this song a lot honestly, I like how its just piano in the beginning and how it kinda feels like time stops before the chorus and then it gets very powerful after with Jaebeoms great voice. But after the chorus it goes back into soft piano and a little guitar it makes you feel like youre going through a lot of different emotions it’s beautiful. I also love the verse before the ending chorus how Jinyoung goes soft and the music gets softer, but you can feel the anger build up after towards the end again and the music getters lower again and then suddenly drops ending the song.

~Lyrics

The song is inspired by the Greek myth about Icarus. If you don’t know the story he was a boy who had wings made of wax who was locked up but one day he got out and flew towards the sun but because his wings were wax they melted and he died. This song shows a different persepective of the story which I love. Sense when you read the story for the first time they talk about how selfish he was. But in the song they sing that everyone kept telling him he couldn’t do it, and he wanted to try harder and harder to achieve what his main goal was. And also a lines I really love is this one

“Every time I get scared

For the people who believe in me

I will prove it

Every time I wanna close my eyes

I’ll picture me standing at the finish line”

And this line

“I’m not sure of this path

But I’ll fly, I’ll fly

I’ll follow the light and draw countless pictures

Even if I feel the limit”

~Album song placment

Honestly compared to the last three songs I think it’s refreshing brake from the rest of the music, it still feels the theme and tone of the album. But lyrically its nice to not have so much relatable life hardship songs overalll its very well placed.

Don’t Wanna Know

~Insturmental

The instrumental is very powerfull, they use electronic beats in this song. I don’t think that’s a bad thing though sense most of the songs on the album have been live instruments. I do have to say that the words that are being sang fit very well with the music because its a very powerful song lyrically. Otherwise theirs not much to say but its very beautiful, in its own way.

~lyrics

The song is about a break up, how its so hard to go one without their special person sense they’ve been toghter for so long.

They say

“I can’t acknowledge that you left

You still live in me

I know but I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna know

Not yet, please don’t leave me

Please don’t leave me no”

This is the chorus and he’s saying he understands the out come of the relationship, but he hurts so much that he doesn’t wanna know. He knows that he needs to move on but he doesn’t want them to leave him yet so he doesn’t wanna know and he wants them bad. It’s a basic breakup song sad slow song.

~Album song placment

It suits the theme of the album its kinda weird to be placed after Icarus lyrically but muscailly is very well placed. In comparison to Icarus sense the themes are so different lyrically is weird but if you don’t speak Korean it works well.

Find You

~Instrumental

The instrumental is so good in this song, the uplifting melody is really good, towards the end was the most beautiful part because that’s whe the lyrics became so sure of itself that they will get this person back and it’s honestly very beautiful. I love the ending so much because it shows how much they care about this person.

~Lyrics

This song is about trying to get back the person you let go and realizing how stupid you were for letting them down. It’s a very upfitng song ever good for the end of the album too. My favorites lyrics are

“When I look back at my days

There was never a day you weren’t there

Why did I take you for granted?

Every chance I get, I regret it

I know it’s me who let you go

I know it’s too late but just once more

Will you let me know where you are?

I’ll go run and find the times

When you were next to me”

I also love the lyrics

“I need you, I can’t breathe without you

Everything is meaningless

I’ll find you wherever you are, I’ll try

So we can smile like we did before”

The way Jaeboem sings this part gives me chills everytime he is so good.

~Album song placment

I think were they put this song us absolutely perfect I wouldn’t change a thing. It’s a really good album closer.

그날The Day

~Instrumental

I love love love the instrumental part in this song. The little bass riffs and the snaps and the guitar parts. Everything is so well put together. I also love the fact that Jinyoung said this is the type of music he likes to listen too. And I can really feel that in the song, its very jazzy and a nice clam song to listen to I love it so much.

~Lyrics

It’s kinda hard to pinpoint what this songs about but I’m pretty sure its about a past loved one or when he was younger. Theirs a lot of symbolism so its kinda hard to understand what he’s supposed to be talking about but I think Jinyoungs talking about his younger self. he tends to write songs like that a lot if its a solo thing nether the less the song is still really good and well put together. My favorite lyrics are

“If no one talks to me

Without a word

Without knowing, the only thing I look for

Is you

On top of this silent ocean

When the sun starts to set

On top of this difficultly set melody

I’m standing alone”

~album song placment

I think its perfect that its second to last sense its a solo song, compared to the rest of the album I think it works well Being at the end its like a special treat.

Fade Away

~instrumental

The instrumental is very R&B which is Jaebeoms style it suits the way he sings very well, he would know that though sense its his solo song. I love how it gives the song this kinda dark angry tone sense the songs about a break up. It also has this really nice distortion to it and it works very well with his voice

~Lyrics

The song is about an abusive partner. Someone who tells you they love but treats you with out care. And Jaeboem just talks about leaving this person and you can tell how upset and angry he is by the way he uses his voice and the lyrics its really good and interesting to read as well.

My favorite Lines are

“Just don’t blame it on me

It’s not my fault but ours

You only blame me, I tell you it’s not like that

But you cover your ears and you won’t listen”

I also love the lines

“I try to change myself for you

I try to hold it in

But you keep getting mad at me

Every chance you get, you doubt me

You trample on me till I disappear

I can’t do this no more”

~Album song placements

Contradicting to Jinyoungs slow song before Jaebeoms is more harsh and even though you can tell their styles and personality’s very well by each song it fits really well that jaebeoms song is after jinyoungs. Over all I thank it was best that Fade Away was the very last song on the album it wraps up the album very nicely, and it leaves you wanting to listen to the whole album over again.

Final Score

~Instrumental over all: 10/10

~Lyrics over all: 9.5/10

~Album song placment over all: 9.5/10

Overall score: 10/10

Last Opinions

I love this album a lot I’ve been listing to it for years now this is the first time I’ve analyzed it though. In all honesty some songs lacked some lyrical genius but its still nice to listen too and I will say that Don’t Wanna Know being after Icarus was weird but it’s something you can easily look over.

I still think this album deserves high praise though because it’s an album you can listen too without skipping a song, I could listen to it on repeat all day if i wanted it never gets old. Listening to any album without skipping songs is very important to me so the fact that I’ve never skipped a song from this album says a lot. Their for I recommend everyone at least listen to Verse2# once it’s really worth it. And thank you for taking your time to read this review.

[iamanartichoke]

Why do you feel that way about fandom? (In regards to your latest reblog)

Ah, I’m not sure if I know how to explain it, but I’ll try. (This got long, so I’m really sorry.)

The thing is, I first got into the Loki fandom early in 2018, so I’m coming up on about two years of being active here. That first year was so fun and exciting; I was elated to be able to discuss my Loki theories and meta with like-minded people, and I was so happy (and surprised!) at the attention my fic was getting.

I was also still at a point where I believed IW was going to blow our minds, so there was that extra kind of thrill of suspense (and a bit of fear but, when you believe in the MCU and haven’t yet lost faith in its writers/directors, the fear is surface-level and adds to the thrill - there’s not really the accompanying dread and despair). 

IW was a crushing blow to that, of course, but even though we were all devastated, we were all devastated as a fandom. We were still in it together; we had one another to vent to and cry with and share fic with. “Loki is alive bc reasons” became kind of an unwritten rule in most post-IW fics; we all agreed that Loki deserved better. 

In 2019, two things happened: one, I was underemployed and dragging my feet on finding better employment due to my mental health, which ruined my life for a little while. I had to move back in with my parents, which (I love them and am grateful they were willing to support me, but) was a toxic environment. I was too depressed to indulge in my escapism the same way (fic and fandom) and my progress on my stories slowed way down. I’ve never quite been able to get back the momentum I had when writing Sanctuary, but that’s another issue. 

The second thing that happened was, obviously, Endgame came out and whatever theories and hopes the fandom was collectively holding onto about Loki were crushed. Not only that, but the portrayal of Thor seemed to amplify the divide in the fandom between the pro/anti Ragnarok argument. 

It seems, to me, that what was a series of battles or skirmishes only became an all-out war after Endgame. That’s only my perception, of course, but I do feel that the latter part of 2019 saw the divide grow larger and larger. Everyone had opinions on what the “correct” portrayal of Thor was, and how it related to Loki, and whether fanon Thor and Loki’s relationship was founded in canon or not. Everyone was defensive of their own point of view; bullying and name-calling and anon hate became more widespread. 

Again, this is just my observation. Those who’ve been on the front lines since Ragnarok came out probably have a much different perspective; I’m only talking about what I observed bc it directly impacts how I feel about fandom these days. 

So here we are in 2020; like I said, I’ve been here about two years. I haven’t rewatched any of the Thor movies in ages (although @delyth88 and I are talking about it), because they make me so sad and also so angry. Sad for what we had, angry for what could have been. So much wasted potential. Loki’s horrific end hangs over everything, as does Thor’s radical character change, and I don’t have the same excited outlook about the characters and the meta potential anymore. 

Not having watched the movies in a long time, along with that feeling of “ugh” around them, impacts me creatively bc I’m not actively feeding my writing inspiration. For me, fanfic writing comes from being so full of feels about the source material that I just can’t get enough and I need more. I draw my inspiration from things like watching Loki’s facial expressions, catching subtle moments between Thor and Loki, analyzing the way they speak, thinking about the story choices happening, and so on, and so on. 

My source of inspiration has dried up, in other words, which has made it hard for me to keep a good writing momentum going. I was feeling great when I rewrote Sea, and then my inspiration kind of plummeted again - this time, bc I felt that I did such a good job rewriting and the response was so positive, I didn’t know if I could finish the rest of the story as well. Like I was already setting up the second half to fail, bc it would be much more “rough draft” than the first - revised and polished, yes, but not gone over with a fine-toothed comb the way the first part was. 

The truth is, I carry a lot of stress and anxiety around my writing. I am always incredibly anxious that no one actually likes my fic, that no one is reading my fic, that people think it’s stupid or pointless, that my quirky humorous touches are ooc, that my plotlines are convoluted and boring and my sex scenes awkward and non-existent. 

I’m having trouble with the Valki relationship bc I haven’t watched Ragnarok in so long, I’ve forgotten how much chemistry was between them and how it made me feel. I’ve forgotten why I chose to pair them up in this ‘verse in the first place. And I worry about that, too - that the people who read my stories for the Valki are walking away unsatisfied. 

So that’s where I am with fic writing - slow and steady, still trying to find my footing, still secretly assuming what I write is shit.

This is on top of feeling more and more isolated on tumblr, mostly because of the aforementioned tensions and overall negativity that’s erupted in the fandom. I have been unfollowed and blocked by people who were once mutuals; I have been blocked by people I’ve never spoken to before. 

There’s so much stress surrounding the things I post now - I’m constantly thinking, have I worded this correctly to convey my meaning without shitting on someone else’s opinion? Is this post going to be the one that makes this or that mutual unfollow me? Am I tagging correctly so my pro Ragnarok mutuals don’t see my criticism, and vice versa? Can I still post pictures of Chris Hemsworth, who is possibly the only man in the world I am definitely attracted to, which is a shame bc I agree that he’s kind of a douche now? But he’s so beautiful, but I have to disclaim that it’s just his face I’m attracted to? If I reblog this post about Loki that I think is hilarious, but is also founded on the flat stabby villain characterization, will I alienate my anti friends? Does it imply I don’t understand or appreciate Loki and that, by reblogging the thing, I’m endorsing a shitty characterization? 

And so on. It makes scrolling my dashboard uncomfortable and un-fun, bc I end up saving tons of posts to my drafts without reblogging them, and after awhile I am not enjoying myself, so I stop scrolling. 

But this means I miss tons of mutuals’ posts, and I was trying to check individual blogs for awhile but I kept falling further behind, and there were more and more posts I’d missed, and I’d get overwhelmed and then feel like they probably hated me anyway at this point for being a shit mutual, so I might as well just keep lurking on the dash for ten minutes and call it a day. 

On top of that, I haven’t read fic in awhile bc of this mindset, so I haven’t commented, and then when I don’t get comments it’s like, well, maybe the story’s not shitty but no one’s reading it bc what do I expect when I’m not reading theirs? You’re not special, Charlotte. 

The worst part about all of this is that none of it should diminish (and hasn’t diminished!) my love of Loki as a character. I am excited about the series, but I am also very anxious about it - about the story not being good, yes, but also about the inevitably divide that will further split the fandom. 

No matter how the story goes, someone’s going to be upset. You can’t please everyone, and trying only makes for worse storytelling. So the wank will continue. 

But I love Loki. I love everything about him. I am interested in writing about him and reading about him and thinking about him. I am invested in him and always will be. It’s just that, right now, I’m kind of falling further and further out of fandom and I find I have less to say. 

And so I either have to wait it out, or work on my own mindset, or keep on keeping on. I just don’t know how long that will take or if I’m even liked enough here to try to bother. 

tl;dr: Fandom has made me cynical and jaded, and it has dampened not my love of Loki, but my love of interacting with the Loki fandom.

(I know you didn’t ask for this hot garbage pile of my feelings, anon, so I’m sorry.) 

[haveyouseenthis]

GO生, Stray Kids | Review PART II

Pt. II

“...’God’s Menu’ was born”

Every second of the song captivated me. Every scene in the M/V was intriguing and sucked me in. I never rewatch M/Vs - ever. I’ve never been one to stream it a million times for the view count to go up. No way. My attention span is waay too short for that

“God’s Menu”, though. 

Wow.

I’ve had to have watched it 40 times since it came out, at least. And the thing is, it’s not my STAY self trying to accumulate views for the boys (although they do deserve it). It’s myself watching it just to watch it. It’s so good. I know exactly what scene is coming, the exact part. I know how the music is about to change and who is going to be center in the next shot, but despite this, it still gives me chills every time.

I think there are a couple reasons for that. One obviously being the song itself, but the other being the phenomenal camerawork. The cameramen and editors have always been the unsung heroes of k-pop and M/Vs in general, but they really outdid themselves this go-around. All the transitions were heavenly. You can tell they didn’t just throw them in there for shock value, but truly thought about where they would have the most impact.

The sets are also amazing. Somehow a transition from kitchen to construction site not only works, but is seamless. All the racetrack scenes also fit in perfectly. 

I started to ask myself why these sets worked so well together. What did a master chef’s kitchen, a construction site, and a racetrack have in common? Anything?

Well, maybe more than you think.

All around the world master chefs retreat into their kitchen to experiment with new recipes and cook up ones never seen before. At construction sites blueprints drawn up by architects are used to build amazing towers are intricate buildings. At the racetracks, old stars and rookies are holding onto their fame or making a name for themselves, fighting for the lead on every lap.

Stray Kids are cooking up their hits in the kitchen, laying the foundation for their success with their hardhats on, and then accelerating past all the competition.

As previously stated, “God’s Menu” is their best song, hands down. But every song on the album brings something to the table. Because of this, GO生 might just be their best release yet… 

My Top Five:

神메뉴 (God’s Menu)

Easy

비행기 (Airplane)

청사진 (Blueprint)

일상 (Another Day/Daily Life)

“God’s Menu” was hard-hitting hip hop in a way I haven’t heard or seen before from SKZ. As I’ve already said, it’s easily the best song they’ve released, including B-sides. Every verse is well crafted, the pre-chorus is catchy and serves as the nice mellow tone the song needed for the vocalists to really shine, and the chorus is a masterpiece of simple onamonapia and tangy flavor (see what I did there~) with strong choreography. The song is shockingly short, especially considering it’s a title track. However, it still feels solid. It’s a full course meal in less than three minutes. That’s so impressive, to me at least. I can’t be the only one who feels like the song is much longer than it is because it’s so immersive.

My favorite parts include Changbin’s “Yes, sir and ma’am / welcome” intro,  the first verse, and the second verse. Changbin’s intro sets the tone immediately. The “sir and ma’am” is almost sassy in context. It’s like he’s truly welcoming us into a restaurant, but there is that eerie undertone of “you don’t know what you’re in for”. I love that Han gets to rap the entire first verse. Not only does it make sense because he is a main rapper, but it sounds better than if it has been split between several people as verse 2 had. There is a clear split about halfway through the first verse where they could have switched to another member, but they stayed with Han, and I think that makes the song so much more powerful, especially since it comes at the beginning. Unlike verse one, verse two splits its lines between five different members. And it works perfectly. I wouldn’t have changed anything at all. Felix’s low voice oozes charisma and is the perfect way to pull listeners deeper into the song after the chorus, and Seungmin and I.N.’s cocky, drawing sound pairs perfectly with that. Chan’s voice and attitude fits wonderfully for his “자물쇠 따 싹 다 unlock / Idea bank 머릿속을 털어 털어” (“All the locks unlock / Idea bank, empty your head, empty it”) part. It’s also a fitting part for him as the main producer of the group. Hyunjin is the perfect person to wrap up the verse. His demanding attitude paired with his visuals as he says “비밀재료가 궁금하다면 / 사실 우린 그딴 거 안 써” (“Wonder what’s our secret ingredient / We don’t use such a thing”) deliver the line in a way no one else in the group could.

And, can we talk about that line for a minute, T? What a statement. It’s on the same flex level as “Daechwita”. “Oh, how are we so good? What’s our secret? How are we cutting corners to get here? We aren’t.”

I also really like that “Go Live,” “God’s Menu,” and “Easy,” feel like a trilogy. It’s a nice way to start the album because it gets the listener immersed immediately.

To have“Easy” follow “God’s Menu” is maybe the best decision made on this tracklist. Still just as proud and cocky as its predecessor, “Easy” talks about how Stray Kid’s don’t just turn the tables or meet expectations, they flip the table over and exceed the expectations - all with ease. 

My favorite part in “Easy” is the bridge, and I’ve found a few different translations of it:

Zaty Farhani’s “Easy” lyric video translates the bridge as “Showing off is all for show, what are you doing getting all scared? / The brave ugly-duckling turns the table / Let’s raise the stakes as you’ve wished / or do it my way”

Color Coded Lyrics’s (CCL) blog translates it as: “What’s the point of being braggy / When you’re just eating up your fear / A loser with courage will turn the tables around / Let’s make it to the next round, as you want / Or I’ll mess around with my own way”

Genius Lyrics translates the part as: “Your words are just bragging / What are you doing while being all coward? / A brave loser has overtook everything / Let's make this game even more big as you wanted / Or just screw it and do it my way”

All of them amount to about the same thing: “You have to show off and brag to prove your worth and rise to the top but we don’t. We know where we came from, and we know what we are, but we will go farther because of this. We’ll take over the world our way,”.

“비행기 (Airplane)” ends the “Go-God’s-Easy” trilogy with it’s lighter hip-hop sound. It’s a love song. The narrator speaks of taking an airplane to a vacation spot with his girlfriend as a metaphor for the two of them traveling to their own world where they can be happy together. What really draws me to this song is its style and sound. The track reminds me a little of “Mixtape : Gone Days”,  with it’s lighter feel. It’s a nice example of a lighthearted love song. I don’t have as much to say about this one, I just really like it. There isn’t any deep meaning in the lyrics for me to dive into (unless you’re into speculating the composer's relationship status. Bang Chan and Changbin wrote “Airplane” in collaboration with others so it’s possible the lyrics came from them or one of the other three composers. Maybe all of them are just good enough at imagining situations to write things like this. We’ll never know.)

“청사진 (Blueprint)” comes in 4th for me, but really 3rd-5th place may as well be equal. The three songs have the same energy to me, especially “Blueprint” and “Airplane”. I like “Blueprint” for its folk-inspired pop sound. It reminds me of AKMU, which I’m sure T digs. It’s not SKZ’s usual sound, but they sing it well and have made it their own. I smile every time it comes on. The lyrics have a wonderful message about overcoming and accomplishing your dreams despite the odds and the people out to get you. Very sweet, and the message reminds me of that of many of their old songs.

“일상 (Another Day/Daily Life)” is the closest thing to a ballad we’ve gotten from the boys.

The beginning count reminds me of NCT 127’s “Boom” and the overall sound reminds me of NCT Dream’s “Puzzle Piece”.

While the first time I listened to it I could easily tell it was a sad and mournful song about something, I wasn’t expecting to tear up while reading the lyrics on my 3rd listen.

It hurts so much. It’s so beautiful. The song tells the story of the narrator (Han wrote it, it’s absolutely about him and his anxiety) as he reflects on himself and his situation, wondering if he’s the only one feeling the way he is, wondering if he is the only one putting on an act every day, and wondering if it’s evening convincing.

But I guess that painfully beautiful tune fits with the message. The notes are so sweet they make you want to cry. And that’s how it feels to go through what the narrator is dealing with. Everything you’re doing looks beautiful. You seem perfect, but if anyone really takes time to listen, they will hear your hurt.

He was a young teenager and was forced to deal with so many pressures (“I’m still so young, but I have so many worries”/”So much worries for such a young child”) during training, and then debut.

After that line, we get to the hard truth of the industry. Of course companies care about their idols, but only to a point. After that, it’s “Just do what you're supposed to be doing well” and “Just do your job properly”. In other words, “Okay, great, you’re going through something. Get over it.”.

CCL translation: “When I pushed my way into this dark room / Did anybody bother to look back at me? / I barely managed to make it through this hard day / How many times did I smile, and were they genuine smiles? // I find the way I’m trapped in my thoughts funny / I’m still so young, but I have so many worries / Just do what you’re supposed to be doing well / Nobody knows anything about how empty my heart feels / And I hate how / All they know how to do is laugh it off”

Genius translation: “The day I forced my way into the dark room / Would at least one person have turned to look at me / Me, who barely lived through another day / How many times have I laughed, but were those sincere? // Myself deep in thought looks funny / So much worries for such a young child / Just do your job properly / Without knowing about my empty heart / Just laughing over it, I don't like that”

I think it’s fitting that the only parts Han gets opens and close the song. It just draws more attention to the fact that it’s his story. He’s opening the door for him and others to talk about their feelings, and once they’ve covered it all, he closes it back up. 

I don’t have too many complaints about this album. A couple, maybe.

One would be that  “TOP”, “SLUMP”, “Mixtape : Gone Days”, and “Mixtape : On Track/바보라도 알아” were released separate from this album, so they stick out from the other 10 tracks. I’m glad they were all grouped together at the end and not sporadically placed between songs like “Easy” and “Pacemaker”. 

“Gone Days” sticks out the most because of its playful hip-hoppy sound that is reminiscent of previous tracks such as “Awkward Silence” and “Get Cool”. I’m not particularly fond of the fact that it is the only one that sounds as it does, but I suppose it is just the same thing they did with “Get Cool” and “Awkward Silence”’s respective mini albums. Both songs were the only ones of their kind on their albums and feel a little out of place. I think I was able to get accustomed to it quicker as being on mini albums there was a smaller tracklist, therefore drastic tone changes between songs weren’t as novel. 

Go Live’s sound alternates (mainly) between two different styles. There are louder, harder hip-hop songs like “God’s Menu” “TA” and “Pacemaker”, and then we have what I’ve dubbed “The Quiet Trilogy” with “Airplane”, “Another Day”, and “Blueprint”. Songs like “Phobia” and “Haven” seen to sit solidly in between the two styles.

But “Gone Days” and “On Track” don’t sound like anything else on this tracklist. “Gone Days” has an over-saturated upbeat take on hip-hop, and “On Track” has a ballad inspired sound (honestly it vaguely reminds me of OSTs for dramas…) to it. This makes the transition from beginning of album to end shocking, and I’m not overly fond of that.

My other issue is that the rest of the track-list simply pales in comparison to its title track. “God’s Menu” was so powerful, so overwhelming for me that it made the rest of the album underwhelming.

Maybe that’s a compliment, actually? At least as far as “God’s” is concerned. I don’t know…

I think I’ll get used to it after a few more listens. (Future Kasin: I did and I love it <3)

One thing is for sure: if they master making every song deliver the same punch as “God’s Menu”, I’ll be done for.

I can’t wait to see what they do next.

Go Live on Spotify

Links PT II:

神메뉴 (God’s Menu) Lyrics (Han/Rom/Eng)

“Easy” lyric video

Color Coded Lyrics Stray Kids Discography

Color Coded Lyrics Stray Kids “Easy”

Genius Lyrics Stray Kids “Easy” English translation

Color Coded Lyrics Stray Kids “비행기 (Airplane)”

Genius Lyrics Stray Kids “비행기 (Airplane)”

Color Coded Lyrics “청사진 (Blueprint)” 

Genius Lyrics “청사진 (Blueprint)”

NCT 127 Boom

NCT Dream Puzzle Piece

Color Coded Lyrics “일상 (Another Day/Daily Life)”

Part I

[alexswak]

Studio Graviton

I have been researching Studio Graviton for a while, a small studio notable for its activities during the ‘80s, and I’ll articulate what I found in this post here. As for why this small studio is relevant, let’s say an individual with the name of Hideaki Anno was one of the founders, and it was there that he had his debut as a director. 

So it all starts with Anno back in 1984, just after finishing his work on “Macross: Do You Remember Love?”. To get an idea about the nature of Studio Graviton we need to understand Anno’s situation back then, as he was still a newling in the industry, not even sure if he was going to continue in this line of work or not. It’s well-known that Anno moved to Tokyo based on an invitation from Miyazaki to work on Nausicaa, after dropping from university, but he moved with only his backpack and barely any money. It was a hard time for him, moving from one place to another, sleeping in the studio when he could, and so on. People might think the harsh working conditions of the anime industry are something recent, yet, while admittingly getting a bit worse recently, it’s always been like that, especially for newcomers.

A comic drawn by Anno detailing how he spent 1984. Translation here.

While working on Do You Remember Love he met with one young animator called Shoichi Masuo. They and two other friends, Kouji Itou and Katsuhiko Nishijima, decided to establish their own studio and called it Graviton. Exact date for establishing the studio is around June of that year, and Anno worked on Megazone 23 there.

I say studio because that is used to refer to Graviton, but let’s clarify the nature of this “studio” first. Studios in general are basically a place for creators to gather and work on the projects at hand, a place where they put their work material and tools and the like. The word “studio” might give off an impression of a place akin to a company or an organization of sorts, with representatives and management staff, yet this isn’t the case for most anime studios. The majority small studios exist mostly for the purpose of providing a place for creators to work in, with maybe one or two persons with management roles such as a producer to organize work and secure new contracts, but not always.

Graviton may be a bit special, but most small studios, which is to say most anime studios, are closer to Graviton than they are to larger studios like Bones or Toei. Graviton was just a rented apartment for the studio members to stay in whenever they pleased, with expenses shared among them. They didn’t have to work together on the same project, and they didn’t have any specific responsibilities or obligations, they could come and go whenever they wanted, really. Anno for example kept switching places between Graviton and Gainax a few times during those years. Another more recent example is Takafumi Hori, who works from Trigger on other studios’ projects, and him having his desk at Trigger is due to his good friendship with other studio members.

The benefits of having a shared working place like Graviton are obvious I believe, like sharing expenses or getting to work on other studio members’ projects if there is a vacancy, I’ll mention some examples on that in a moment. My examples are mainly related to Anno, because getting information on him and his career is much easier, but each one of the original studio members had a notable career of his own and is worth checking out.

So starting with the projects Anno worked on while being at Graviton we have the first part of Megazone-23 where he did some scenes. I guess he worked on the infamous Pop Chaser 4 while being at Graviton too, and then went back to Gainax to work on Wings of Honneamise, and then went back and forth between the two studios juggling different projects till around 1988, when he took over as the director of Gunbuster. He didn’t come back to Graviton after that, probably because his financial situation became much more stable and just settled at Gainax.

Among the things Anno worked on back then were ads, one of them was an ad for a music player from JVC, which he did at Gainax in 1987. The ad evidently has nothing to do with neither music nor electrical devices, which is what the company’s representatives said if I’m not mistaken, but it’s a good piece of animation. Another ad, the really interesting one, was a promotional video for a game on NES called “Mugen Senshi Valis”. This ad is by the way the first directorial (paid) work for Anno. He did it in the same year but this time at Graviton, and I’d have said by this point that the studio at which he worked was a mere difference in location no more, yet this ad was a rare collaboration between all of Studio Graviton members. Also, as a side note, Anno spent the money he got from this job on buying a cooler for the studio in place of the one that broke. 

The promotional video was promoted in magazines and posters with focus on two points: The first is being directed by Hideaki Anno, a genius animator who played a major role in DAICON and Wings of Honneamise. The second is having Katsuhiko Nishijima, the director of Project A-Ko, as a character designer and animation director. I think that the target audience for this promotional video was obvious. The production company behind this was Sunrise, and I think they were the ones who reached out to Anno in one way or another to direct this, who in turn invited his friends from Graviton, so as a result Graviton was credited with the animation.

Director - Storyboard: Hideaki Anno

Character Designer - Animation Director: Katsuhiko Nishijima

Key Animation: Graviton

Backgrounds: Atelier Musa

Finishing: Studio Fantasia

Production: Hideoki Tomoika(Sunrise)

This is a great opportunity to talk about Nishijima, who was a key figure in the ‘80s. He wanted to become a mangaka at first, but wanting to make a living drove him to enter a university, which he left after his first year to join the anime industry. Applying for a place at Sunrise at first, after watching Gundam during his year at the university, he was referred to Studio Live because Sunrise didn’t accept new in-betweeners at the time. He passed the entry test there and had his first gig as an in-betweener on Cyborg 009 episode 27 I believe. His first key animation came shortly thereafter on episode 26 of Maeterlinck no Aoi Tori: Tyltyl Mytyl no Bōken Ryokō.

He started attracting attention due to his scenes in Urusei Yatsura, being a big fan of the manga to begin with he personally asked Toyo Ashida(Studio Live’s president) to work on the TV anime. There he started developing his own style, and although a hint of Kanadism was there, his style was pretty distinct even early on, which led to his scenes standing out from the rest. Even when Studio Live stopped working on Urusei Yatsura, Nishijima moved to Deen where he continued working on it. It can be said that the long time he spent working on Urusei Yatsura culminated in his magnum opus, Project A-Ko, but that’s a whole discussion of its own for another time. Before Nishijima left Studio Live he participated in a dozen of their shows, such as Minky Momo and Dr. Slump Arale-chan, and even after leaving he kept ties with them and worked on things like the Kyoufu no Bio Ningen Saishuu Kyoushi OVA.

There’re a lot of characteristics for his style. First there’s the way he draws bodies, as he was known for drawing girls with sexy bodies while keeping the faces simple and cute with large round eyes. No wonder such style was popular among otaku of the day, especially considering the “idol” status of Lum from Urusei Yatsura back then. His popularity only increased after Project A-Ko OVA, and the Valis PV came shortly after all of that.

Nishijima’s designs are pretty beautiful if you ask me, and this PV is one of the few works where you’ll find his designs. Aside from that his scenes are a joy to watch. I think he was capable of adding a sense of dynamism to his scenes without unnecessary or excessive movement, which not a lot of young animators could do giving his style a hint of “maturity” so to speak, all the while without losing attractiveness. He achieves this through his good use of perspective, for example, or his unique impact frames, which are a favourite of mine.

Some of his impact frames.

If we take a look at his scene in the PV we see how both characters exchange position relative to the camera, as if the camera is rotating around them as they exchange blows. It reminds of his scene in Outlanders OVA, one of his best overall. Just like a lot of other young animators of that generation, however, he sadly didn’t put out any work worthy of note after the ‘80s, especially after switching his focus to directing and participating in less projects overall.

As for people he works\worked regularly with there was Moriyama Yuuji, a friend of his since the ‘80s. I bet the person who introduced them to each other was Hideaki Anno, since Anno met Moriyama around the year 1984 while the latter was at Studio MIN, which is another small studio located not that far from Graviton. Again, the word “studio” isn’t to be taken at face value here, as MIN was akin to Graviton in being more or less an apartment for animators to work in, hinting at the fact that such studios weren’t all that rare.

MIN was founded in 1982 and dissolved in the year 1991, yet it was full of prolific creators throughout its short lifespan. Other than the aforementioned Moriyama we have Hiroyuki Kitakubo, Hideki Tamura and Yoshiharu Fukushima as the studio’s founders, while Nobuteru Yuuki joined them later on. You’re free to look up any of those names, no short post is enough to cover the career of any single one of them, and this short post has already been dragged beyond its original intended length. As a side note though, I now notice that most of the people behind the infamous Cream Lemon Pop Chaser were either form MIN or from Graviton, and it’s an amazing realisation that a few very young creators in their small apartments created one of the most memorable and striking episodes of the whole ‘80s.

Before I end this post I’ll add that the period in which Anno met Moriyama was when Moriyama was working on a manga by Mamoru Oshii (the acquaintance between them goes back to when Moriyama worked on Urusei Yatsura). The manga was named “In The End... “ (とどのつまり) and was published (or was to be published?) in a sub-magazine from Animage called Animage Comics (アニメージュコミックス). That caused Toshio Suzuki, who was still an editor at Animage, to visit MIN regularly and run into Anno, whom he probably knew due to his participation in Nausicaa 2 years prior.

[culebratia]

Honest opinions on horror villains

Okay so I love horror villains and horror in general. Most of them are really interesting and have a sort of grotesque charm to them that I can’t really describe, it draws you to them and pulls you into wanting more. But there are some horror villains that are either overrated and underrated, and today I’m here to discuss some of them! (I’d like to reiterate that I don’t hate any of these characters, I actually like them all! But I’m just talking in a general perspective and my view on their popularity and the actual movie they come from.)

LESLIE VERNON

* overrated.

* okay, I know, people are going to get upset at me over this. This was an amazing movie, they said. It’s so new and different from the others, they said. And I completely understand that! It’s unique and inventive and I love the whole premise of the movie, but goddamn did it bore me..

* I like Leslie Vernon as a character, but I don’t love him like I do with other characters. He’s cool! I adore his slasher design, but his personality bores me a little bit at times. There are some points where my emotions and feelings on the guy are a little bit like a rollercoaster — up and down, up and down, up and down. It’s crazy.

* once again, I like the concept of his movie, but the way it was presented in a filmmaking point of view is underwhelming.

ART THE CLOWN

* underrated.

* there are three movies I know of with Art in them: The 9th Circle, All Hallow’s Eve and Terrifer. And all of them are equally shit, which is to be expected since it was written and directed by a young guy who specialises in special effects. But damn was Art interesting to watch.

* there are some points in the movies where I think “why couldn’t he have starred in a better made film?” because if that were so, he’d get so much more publicity! Art is an absolutely terrifying demon clown creature, way more scary than Pennywise, and people from around the world should know his name! He’s the only character in all the movies who actually has good actors.

* shitty movie, fantastic character. I hope to see more of him.

MICHAEL MYERS

* overrated by a milestone.

* look, I’m all for Michael Myers. He’s hot, lemme tell you that. But he’s a really boring character. It’s all the same (apart from the 3rd movie)! Michael returns to his hometown to find and kill Laurie, killing a whole other group of people who she happens to be involved with at some time during the movie.

* when I watch a horror movie, I want to have the villain to have some sort of character. At least with Jason, you can see some emotion in him which defines him as a whole! But with Michael? He’s a clean slate, and that is soo uninteresting.

* first two movies were great, others were unneeded honestly.

BILLY LENZ

* underrateeeeed.

* stinky attic boy needs some love. He is what started the slasher genre for peats sake and yet everyone overlooks him as a horror villain. Let me tell you, that phone scene in the beginning was absolutely fucking terrifying when I first watched it, and it’s still unsettling to this day even after I’ve watched it a million fucking times.

* we never even got to see Billy’s face properly throughout the whole movie and yet he made such an impact on everyone who ever watched Black Christmas! And that ending scene? Perfect cliffhanger. (The remake was shit compared to the original)

* great movie, great character, needs more credit.

BRAHMS HEELSHIRE

* overrated.

* bet y’all are shocked at this aren’t you? He’s the character I most often write for. But that’s really because he’s heavily requested. I actually don’t really like him all that much, too much exposure I guess. I mean I have nothing against his character as a whole, he’s attractive to me and interesting but I don’t actually know.

* now the movie is something I do know about though: bullshit. Absolutely terrible. A basic plot line (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing sometimes, it just needs to be played out right) and a director which results to cheap jump scares because apparently that’s ‘scary’. The movie as a whole is so predictable and it never scared me once when I went to watch it at the cinema. I can understand why people like it though.

* decent(?) character, bad movie.

OTIS DRIFTWOOD + family

* underrated.

* okay this might have something to do with my weakness for Bill Moseley, scarily cute women and clowns, but man do I love the Firefly family. Each and every character, even the ones we barely see, within the family is so perfectly polished and unique, and I love Rob Zombie for it. He can’t write dialogue for shit but man do I love his horror villains.

* although the first movie was very confusing at some points. Like, what?? What was with that ending? It was a very good movie in my opinion and was actually pretty horrifying. It used things that disgust us and manipulated that to terrify every single one of its viewers and that’s perfect. Hated the protagonists though.

* fantastic movie, great villains, shitty protagonists,

FREDDY KRUEGER

* overrated.

* now don’t get me wrong, I love Freddy, I grew up loving Freddy. He’s witty and fun to watch, maybe not like Chucky, but after a while he gets so repetitive that it gets really really annoying. Couldn’t they think of something unique and interesting for him to say instead of him just calling everyone a bitch??

* the writing becomes boring after a while, the directors add so many unnecessary features, weaknesses and powers we had no clue even existed up until this very point, and it’s overall not a very good franchise when you get into it. I enjoyed the first and seventh movie a lot, but all of the other ones didn’t really excite me all that much.

* okay character, okay movie, but isn’t worth all the attention.

NUBBINS SAWYER, DRAYTON SAWYER, CHOP-TOP SAWYER + GRANDPA SAWYER

* un👏🏽der👏🏽ra👏🏽ted

* these boys deserve just the same amount of attention that Leatherface does. I know that Bubba is a really cool character, and he deserves attention too! But that doesn’t mean that his family get to be left out. Each and every single one of them helped shape the Texas Chainsaw franchise to what it is today, and honestly it wouldn’t have been as amazing without them in it.

* Texas Chainsaw has so many metaphors within it nobody really goes into. When we first meet Nubbins and he’s kicked out of the van, Franklin very obviously points out “would you be able to do that?” referring to Nubbins slicing his hand up, and later on we see Franklin blowing raspberries at his friends due to the fact that he couldn’t go upstairs because of his disability, which is exactly what Nubbins was doing when he couldn’t get into the van. This area is the director exploring the ways that people could so easily turn into madness without people realising it.

* Drayton Sawyer is your average looking fellow who runs the Sawyer household, but he is not average at all. He’s sadistic, witty, hypocritical, and surprisingly still a Christian. He claims that he “doesn’t like to do the killing” and yet he’s shown constantly poking and prodding at the final girls like they’re some caged animals, living only for the pleasure of himself. The fact that he’s an elderly man basically screams “wolf in sheeps clothing”, because usually when you see an elderly person, you assume them to be kind and wise, whereas, Drayton can’t even spell ‘sex’ correctly.

* Chop-Top wasn’t present in the first movie sadly, but it’s explained why, which is understandable in a filmmaking perspective. He is probably the most terrifying character out of the bunch. He’s impulsive, disgusting, and absolutely fucking insane. Whether or not this is due to his time in Vietnam I don’t know, but man does it make a great affect. And that time in the movie where he was introduced? It was absolutely heavenly. No one in today’s horror industry would build up suspense like that and cause so much raw fear from a petty jump scare. The fact that he carries around his damn brothers corpse like he’s puppet, treating him like he’s still a living being adds onto the scare factor as well.

* great villains, good movies, everything after TCSM2 wasn’t really very good though.

Okay, now that’s over and done with! Let me show you my top ten favourite horror villains (from actual horror movies), you’ll either be completely shocked or completely not! :)

Pinhead — love the creature design. Fantastic personality and concept. Annoyed he’s not a woman.

Bubba Sawyer — baby boy needs love. And affection. And kisses. And basically anything positive. We must protect him.

Chop-Top Sawyer — terrified me when I first saw him as a kid. I wanna fuck Bill Moseley. I love his personality. Wish his movie came out.

Captain Spaulding — funny ass motherfucker. Always cracks me up. I want him to be my daddy.

Hannibal Lecter — interesting in a psychological perspective. Has a way to make your skin crawl without doing much.

Art the Clown — scarier than Pennywise. I wish his movies were better. Why didn’t Terrifier make it obvious he was a demon?

Otis Driftwood — boy’s a hottie. But please stop fucking corpses. Once again, Bill Moseley.

Stu Macher — first fictional crush. He’s my irl type of guy. I dated a guy like him once.

Jennifer Check — movie was ahead of its time. Legit was about having a succubus gf. Lesbian scene was hot. I’m gay for Meagan Fox.

Billy Lenz — terrifying phone calls. Nasty boi. The remakes will never be as great as the OG Black Christmas.

Anyways, so that’s it! It’s past midnight currently so I might just go to bed lol but whatever. I’ve wanted to write this out for a whiiile but decided to just get it over with now. I’ll say it all again: every character I write for, I like, I just have different levels of like, so please no hate over this. Thanks!