#he’s constantly talking to me about how we can’t afford these changes to the house

[reflectionsofgalaxies]

.

[rainybubbles]

What 141 would do if you're experiencing self-doubt ?

Ghost, Price, Soap, Gaz

(Sorry in advance for my mistakes, English is not my mother tongue. So sorry if it's badly written or if they're OOC.)

SIMON : 

-"I am not enough; I will never be, and you know it. You know it because, in a crowd, your gaze wanders elsewhere. Your fingers barely brush against me, and you only utter kind words without ever mentioning my beauty. I will never be like the others; I can never fill your heart. I am just a silhouette in your life, while I constantly dream of being the leading role in our film. But it’s just a film, an illusion, and I can’t be content with that."

-Out of breath, they stood before him, tears in their eyes. Their exhausted eyes let every tear fall, their breathing was labored.

-He stood motionless, rigid, unable to move, to utter a word.

-This silence was like a knife, silently cutting the bond between them, answering the unspoken with more silence.

-"I see," they murmured as they turned to leave.

-But their momentum was interrupted by his hand firmly gripping their wrist. He stood there.

-"Do you honestly think you can compare yourself to the others?" he murmured.

-"Don’t hit where it hurts, I—"

-"Do you honestly think you can compare yourself when your smile makes me forget the blood I shed? The souls screaming in my ears. When each of your breaths is a wave of desire I struggle to restrain, while for ten years, I struggled to feel even lust? When your voice, your ambitions are the only things I think about. You haunt me. I’ve tried day and night to flee from you, to distance myself, to keep you as an acquaintance, but no matter my efforts, I found myself at your feet begging for a crumb of your smile. Do you honestly think I see you like the others?"

-Stunned, they didn’t know how to respond.

-"Simon."

"I can’t, I didn’t want to. Not yet. I can’t afford to have people to lose, but you’re here, and I find myself unable to let another take your heart."

"Then take it."

Hesitant, the soldier could see his mother, Beth, his brother, his nephew. Having someone meant being able to lose them. Having only his life meant a gentle, painless death.

-But between putting them in danger or losing them, Simon’s heart had made its choice.

-He wouldn’t risk finding them one day dead in his living room, killed by an enemy. He couldn’t. Yet the idea of having them in their living room, their house, seemed so sweet.

"It’s not that simple."

"Simon, please. Be clear, you can’t—"

His hands were on their face, wiping away each tear he had caused.

"Look at us, Simon," they murmured.

Their breaths close, the heat rising, their gazes shifted from one to the other, settling on their lips. And everything happened quickly. A moment, a second changing everything. A kiss.

"You are enough," he murmured after the first kiss.

But it wasn’t enough; starving, his heart burning, Simon kissed them again and again.

Feeling their body under his hands, their much-desired lips on his. Their breath, their scent, their sounds, their hair, everything was them, and he could only get intoxicated again and again.

They were an addiction.

"I can’t get enough of you."

"Neither can I. Don’t leave me again, Simon."

"I wouldn’t dream of it."

They were enough, more than that, they were too good for him. But Simon was a selfish man, and if they allowed him, he would stay in their affections as long as they let him.

PRICE : 

(Tall reader implied in this one.)

"Am I... pathetic, John? Not enough?"

On a summer evening at the base, which was deserted due to the nice weather and the open bar, two colleagues smoked outside.

-The conversation had shifted from light banter to work, and now, as dawn approached, alcohol was loosening their tongues, steering them towards deeper topics.

"Pathetic?" John repeated.

"Yes."

They stubbed out their cigarette abruptly.

"Sorry, it sounds childish. I'm complaining about my life when we were talking about something else. I should go to bed, I—"

They were interrupted by his gaze.

"No, I'm listening."

They sat back down, almost timidly.

"Have you been with people, John?"

"I've had my share of lovers, yes."

"Everyone has, at our age, right?"

"I guess."

"Not me."

John observed their in silence, sensing their hesitation.

"My parents say it's pathetic, being only good at writing reports, not even able to seduce soldiers in a barracks. That my ugliness, my height, are horrible traits they can hardly stand to see at each meeting. And I know they're wrong, but when I hear stories of kisses, love letters, children, marriages... I can't help but wonder: what's wrong with me? Why... why have I never felt that desire, why has no one ever had it for me? Am I... pathetic?"

John removed his cigar from his lips, his eyebrows furrowed. He stood up without a word.

They guessed he was bored by their words, their problems, and regretted having said too much.

But John knelt in front of them.

"You'd have to be very cruel to think a person like you is pathetic. If you are, then I'm just a pathetic man who desires a pathetic person."

"John..."

"Not feeling desire, not having loved, kissed, or slept with someone at our age shouldn't be a shame. Love isn't a race, and if you start in your thirties, forties, or fifties, so be it. You should never feel any pressure or degradation about it. Because a man, a lover, a good one at least, will never define you. You are a wonderful person who may choose to have someone in their life, or not. It’s optional."

"It’s hard."

"I know."

On his knees, he reached out to cover their hand with his.

"You are not pathetic. Your laughter at Simon's awful jokes, that little tic after writing a report when you click your tongue, your height towering over even Johnny... I live for that. Every morning on this base, I wish to give you a report I spent too many hours falsifying just so we can correct the errors together, so I can sit next to you and feel your leg brush against mine, your scent filling my clothes, or leave my silly hat on your head in winter. I want you to see me, as I see you. Because if you did, you'd never dare, never even think to use the word 'pathetic' to describe yourself."

"John..."

"I'm not asking for anything. I know your desire now, and I guess I don't meet your expectations, but please, don't let this define you."

Slowly, he stood up, his hand leaving theirs.

"Why?" they asked, interrupting his walk.

"Why what?"

"Why tell me this when you... you know I could never have that physical desire for you?"

"Because my desire isn't just sexual, I want all of you. A life without sex doesn't bother me, not if I can see your smile every morning, not if I can fix a stupid sink we bought together, not if I can admire those lines on your face every day."

"You're an idiot."

"So it seems."

Wiping their tears, they blew their nose. With a determined step, they joined him.

"Where are we going?"

"Where?" he asked

"Well, a date should be somewhere nice, right?"

A smile appeared on his face.

"I know a place," he murmured.

"Let's go."

Hand in hand, the dawn rose on a new relationship at the base.

SOAP : 

— Wait, talk to me, we can fix this, he said, running after you into the bathroom.

— It’s not a problem, Johnny. It’s not a disagreement, you said, sitting on the floor.

— What is it then?

— ME! I’m... I’m completely useless. Seriously, all through this party, I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t even drink. I was paralyzed by a panic attack, standing there like a statue while my friends wanted to celebrate. I ruined their moment, I... I’m not worth it. Every time they want to hang out, they look for uncrowded places because of me. They delay our meetings to make sure I don’t faint on public transport. They try to guess if today’s a good day for me before even suggesting anything. I’m a burden to them. And I hate myself for that. I hate that I can’t talk to people without overthinking, I hate that I faint in crowds, I can’t go outside when I want to, I can’t call people, I can’t even tell stories. Because I don’t have any; I’m stuck in a boring life with anxiety slowly eating me away.

— Is that what you think? he whispered. That you’re not worth it?

— Yes, you sobbed softly. Because it’s the truth.

— Do you think your friends see you as a burden? That they hang out with you because they have to?

— Yes.

— No. They hang out with you, they take your anxiety into account, they plan around your feelings because they want to. They wish they could see you every day because you’re a wonderful person, you’re a delight to be around. They know they can’t always see you, so they take care of you. I... take care of you. I can’t count the number of times I’ve wished to see you every day, to go out with you every day. But I love you too much to impose my desires on your anxiety. We love you, we do all this because we care about you. Tonight was a mistake.

— A mistake?

— We were supposed to be five, but Thomas’s friend invited more people, and it turned into a big party. We couldn’t warn you in time.

— So...

— We wanted you there, we wanted to celebrate with you, with our friends. Not with random drunk people.

— You love talking to drunk people.

— I love talking to people, period.

— I feel stupid.

— Then I’ll be stupid with you, scoot over.

— John, there’s no room to sit, we’ll be stuck in the bathtub.

— So?

He settled in. The two of you tangled up in an empty bathtub, a laugh escaped your lips.

— You’re ridiculous.

— I’m whatever you want me to be.

— Even bald?

— I admit, I won’t touch my hair.

— ...Do you... do you really want to see me more often?

— Yes. But I know how you... how you need your space after socializing.

— You sound like a personal development book.

— Maybe it’s from "Introvert’s Guide", I admit.

A sigh escaped, a smile forming.

— Thank you, John.

— No problem.

— You... you could come to my place, maybe.

— You-

— So we can see each other... more. More than just outside.

— Okay.

Slipping a key into his pocket, John could only take your hand and gently caress it.

— You deserve it, this happiness , believe me.

— I’ll try, you whispered.

KYLE : 

The silence lingered at the end of the line.

"You're supposed to answer after a “how are yo”, you know?" Kyle said.

Usually they would have said “yes I’m fine.”

But that wasn't the case. It never had been. But they had always managed to lie, to downplay their problems. Yet their trembling lips betrayed them, letting slip the truth.

"That's not the case."

"What's going on?"

"Nothing, I was catching up."

Idiot. Kyle Garrick was nothing if not a stubborn and obstinate man.

"You think I'm going to buy that?"

"Kyle, I'm not sure that..."

"You just admitted what I've been waiting for months to hear. I'm not letting go."

"You were waiting?"

"Do you really think I believed you? You... you talked about your neighbor for hours to avoid my questions, please, just answer me."

"Have you ever wondered why I always seemed to mess everything up?"

"You..."

"I wonder every day. My parents barely talk to me, I did an art degree to avoid finishing my bachelor's and being in debt, I started a history degree only to end up cleaning after my graduation, unable to find a teaching position. I lost my apartment, my dog, my first love, and my second. And my college friends. And today, my job, and they all say the same thing, it's my fault. So Kyle, tell me, did I ruin your life too?"

The sound of the line crackled.

"No."

"You can't lie, I..."

"Your parents are disappointed that their prodigy of a child didn't do what THEY wanted for you. Your art school was filled with artists copying from the internet. Teaching positions come and go every year. You're just young, and as for your friends, they were nothing but hypocrites, taking advantage of your notes and then leaving. Your exes had their flaws and projected them onto you. They're all idiots if they think you're the bane of their existence, because now, they must realize how much you helped them. You mattered. You matter."

"Kyle."

"I wouldn't know who to call, who to tell the stupid things I see here to forget if you weren't there. I know you ask me to describe the scenery in each of my calls so I don't remember my missions, that you don't talk about my work to give me a bubble. And it matters to me, you matter to me enormously."

"I'm just trying to... help you."

"Then let me help you in return. Why don't you... why don't you come to my apartment?"

"Kyle, what?"

"You don't have a job anymore, do you? Rent is expensive and you have nothing holding you back. Come to England. My parents know a university, you could work there as a teaching assistant or find something else."

"Why?"

"Because you deserve better. I don't want to play the savior, I... it's selfish, but knowing that when I come back, I'll find you in my apartment is a selfish wish. I can't just settle for calls anymore, I want to hear your voice every morning."

"As friends?"

"No."

"I see."

"But if that's how you see us, then I'll respect your choice and my offer will always stand."

"I can't ask you to let me move in with you if I know that."

"I'll do anything for you."

"You're stubborn."

"Yes."

"I... I'll think about it."

"You haven't given me an answer."

"Do I really need to?"

"No. I... damn it, I wish I could kiss you."

"You'll have to wait until you come back."

"I can't wait."

If you want more : masterlist.

[luveline]

do u have any advice for feeling hopeless about the future? It's crazy to me to see people younger/my age with so much money like I'm 22 I thought everyone struggle at this phase of life but idk.... when I look at my future I realize I have to be so lucky to afford a house, car and traveling. why go through uni when there's people who never went and have soo much money? Im so scared of being homeless and my friend literally bought a house and she's moving out I just feel like I failed life you know and Idk what to do about that

hi honey!

I want to say starkly that I often feel very hopeless about the future, even just a few days ago I mentioned here that I don’t look forward to the future, that I’m not happy thinking about it. I think university is one of those things where it doesn’t often make a big impact anymore? like for some people it means you’ll have job security in a sector you enjoy, but if you’re like me I doubt my degree will actually make much difference, my sisters hasn’t really helped her, I do think that wealth is getting to a point where if you don’t have some sort of generational income it’s not easy to actually afford a house, a car etc, and that does make you hopeless. I understand why you feel this way (but not trying to imply that university is a farce, it’s always a good thing that we should be getting a further education) . I often think I’m not smart or hard working enough to ever make anything of my life, and while hard work and intelligence do make a difference sometimes, it’s obviously not always the case and that’s tough too. And I understand comparison too because I feel like every time I go out with friends I’m the one who’s poorly dressed wearing clothes from asda while they’re in berksha and pull and bear and stuff, but I think I cope with this hopeless feeling by trying to be fair to everyone (???) Sorry if I sound stupid but what I’m trying to make in this point is that just cos my friends are wearing expensive clothes might not mean a thing, it might just mean that’s the thing they’ve chosen to buy with the limited funds they have (and I don’t mean to erase the fact that some people can’t really make that choice, or shame people for spending their money on what makes them happy). Perhaps your friend has unseen credit cards or loans, or perhaps she is lucky or well employed and has the cash for it, but neither of those answers means that you have failed at life in my opinion! I am also very afraid of homelessness, I think I’m starkly aware that if it weren’t for my mother being willing to have me here I would indeed become homeless right now! It’s hard to feel hopeful for the future when one bad day is the difference between financial security or homelessness.

but! My advice!! Not just my agreement:

I think that to feel hopeful about the future you have to change your mindset. That answer sounds stupid in hindsight: how can you change your mindset when you’re constantly being pushed back or unlucky? And how is a changed mindset actually useful against the threat of homelessness? It really isn’t like a mindset can do that and I don’t ever mean to imply to you that you can think your happy way out of poverty because you can’t, but to cope with the hopelessness part you have to unfortunately try to find a way to cope. That’s really hard to do and I genuinely think it’s brave of you to want to move away from it. It’s really common for people living in poverty or working class people to experience mental health problems simply because the quality of life they’re experiencing is so low, but that doesn’t make those mental health issues less valid or less deserving of help and treatment, so if you did ever want to get some support, you could try long term or short term. I find that I can feel less hopeless after talking to someone about the things that are worrying me, and there are free helplines and text lines dedicated to that! The Samaritans have an email service that I can attest to being helpful and kind, the person who I talked to when I was having a hard time was very understanding and sympathetic, and there are some other ones like SHOUT which is a text line, it’s free, but they’re very busy at night in the UK so if you do want to talk to them you might have to wait a while or try at a different time. I had better luck talking to them in the mornings.

I used to be so hopeless about my future that I was suicidal (and I still am some days) for a long long period of time, and the thing that helped me escape that was one. To stop listening to sad music (it sounds stupid but it helped me personally, not sure if that’s something you wanna do) two. To delete social medias and three. to read a lot of poetry!!! Not that toxic positivity can save you, but to read and to see that other people have felt how I feel and to know they also saw and made very beautiful things is a good feeling. Some sentiments have changed the way I see the world. Like: romance ‘as a medium and not a vehicle’, seeing the world as the sun is setting, a nice laugh, and more concrete things like worrying is to suffer twice, that community starts at home, and that dishes are proof you’ve eaten a home cooked meal. You definitely don’t have to like any of the sentiments I’ve said or believe in them if you don’t want to, but I’m suggesting you find some sentiments to keep you going, not even positive things if you don’t want them to be like that!! And I always suggest poetry or if u don’t wanna read a collection, just having a look on tumblr or Pinterest at what people are saying, something you can think is very beautiful about the world if only for like three or four days! I love having something to think about for a few days when I’m sad. if that’s all shit or useless don’t worry just ignore me! And obviously sorry if it is shit and useless. Another way I’ve managed to not feel hopeless totally about the future is to explore options of things I can control. I may not be able to afford a mortgage, but I could potentially one day rent a flat. I might never meet a partner to have kids with but I can foster if I wanted (not that fostering kids is the same as having them (or not the same, depending on feeling, just that’s it’s so complicated)) to take care of someone. I think the things that you’re hopeless about (things that are linked to money and work) are VERY hard to think positively about, and I don’t blame you for feeling hopeless about them, and I know how super hard and scary it genuinely is to feel like that so I’m so so sorry you’re feeling like this. It’s hard to know you can work very hard and never feel that you’ve been paid for it, and I don’t want to tell you oh don’t worry it’ll be fine because it won’t make you feel better, because you know your situation is an intimidating one, but please know you’re not alone in your hopelessness or your fears and that so many our age are in the same boat. You aren’t failing at life life is just soooooo difficult and unfair and unlucky, it’s not your fault! You are not less deserving or less hard working!! You have nothing to be embarrassed of for not managing the same as a friend has. It doesn’t mean you never will. People say this to me all the time, you don’t have to follow any life plan. I genuinely think that if you can keep trying, you can work toward happiness, and hopefully get some much deserved help! Sorry life is so hard honey!

[yurrfttboyy]

My big brother’s best friend Anthony had been around my whole life. He was as straight as my brother, a total gym rat who’s primary interest was video games and puss*. I don’t remember when exactly, but at some point I started stealing whiffs of Anthony and my brothers rank shoes when they would be in the basement playing video games. He would come over at least 3 nights a week and they’d just spend hours down there gaming and talking about chicks, while I’d be nonchalantly finding reasons to walk past the front door so that I could bend over and dive face-first into their shoes.

One day, Anthony came up to use the toilet and I didn’t know. He came around the corner to find me buried in his dirty, obviously rank shoes, but he didn’t say anything. He stopped for a second, looked down at the tent in my shorts and chuckled briefly before continuing back down to the basement, without a single word.

Years later, after my brother moved away to start a new life, Anthony hit me up. He had been struggling to keep a job, as he was rather lazy and didn’t like to work. He knew that I had a successful career, and apparently remembered how much I liked his feet, because he told me in his email that he had a proposition for me. He said that he would make me his foot slave if I agree to give him half of my income.

I was intrigued, and knew that I could afford it, so I offered to meet him. We met at a nice restaurant, i of course agreed to pay for us both, and we discussed it further. He told me that his parents were going to throw him out if he didn’t find a steady income soon, and that he’s had several jobs but couldn’t stand any one of them, and inevitably ended up quitting or getting fired for poor attendance from each one. I understood his situation, and desperately wanted to be his foot slave, so I agreed.

He told me to pay for his meal and then to go buy a small, metal chastity belt to put on. He told me that he was repulsed by the idea of me touching myself while thinking about his feet, so enforced chastity would be a mandatory part of the deal. He told me once I had it locked on and had my first payment that he would come to my house to collect the keys and my payment, and I’d finally get to drag my tongue across his rank soles.

****

That was five years ago, and not a thing has changed. Anthony lied to his family and told them he found a descent job, they all believed it and couldn’t be more proud. I’ve spent the last 5 years supporting him entirely, all while locked in chastity and constantly being fed his grimy foot sweat. We live together in “his” townhouse that I paid for, only I stay in the basement and out of his way unless he needs me to clean his feet or do some other menial chore for him.

I’m licking his feet right now, after a long day of playing basketball with some friends out in the park without socks, when he starts chuckling loudly. “Hey fag, I just had a chat with your brother. He’s coming to town next week, I told him he could stay in the guest room. I can’t wait to catch up, it’s been too long.” He told me, all while luxuriously wiggling his toes in my face. “While he’s here I expect total obedience out of you, don’t forget who and what you are. You will still be responsible for all domestic chores, you will still cook and serve all meals to us BOTH, and you will follow any order that my guest has to give, no matter how humiliating or ridiculous, do you understand me?” He said, moving his foot away for a moment to glare into my eyes. I meekly responded with a “yes sir”

“Good boy. I’ll be testing you while he’s here, and I expect absolutely zero fuck-ups. He’s not your brother anymore, you are a slave and he is your master’s best friend, and you WILL treat him accordingly.” All I could do was keep licking his feet and dread what was to come next week…

[linasobsessions]

Are you sure about that? OR 4 times you were just a hookup + the one time you weren't {Matthew Tkachuk}

AN: First time writing on this blog after probably one and a half years. But this idea just kinda stuck in my head

Word count: 3.2k

1.

Hooking up with Matthew was easy. The first time he took you home was after a night out at a local bar with his teammates, just having won an important game and being a step closer to clinching a playoff spot. You had been out with your girlfriends trying to escape the stress of college exams.

You already had a couple of drinks and since your friends were much wilder than you, you decided to get some water to sober up a little. At least one of you had to stay conscious this time and not black out. Waiting on your drink you tapped your fingers on the wood of the bar to the beat of the music playing in the background when you felt another person sliding in next to you.

Deciding to ignore it you took your water that was finally handed to you. You pulled some bills out of your pocket to pay but were stopped midway.

"Put it on my tab."

The deep voice left a shiver down your spine as you turned your head to look at the man next to you. The first thing you noticed was the curly blonde mop of hair on his head, wild and tamed at the same time with racing stripes shaves into the sides. You let your eyes wander to his face, over his sharp, scruffy jawline to his clear blue eyes. His lips wore an smirk that made you want to roll your eyes at him as the next sentence left his mouth.

"Are you Tennessee?"

He went back to smirking as you only raised your left eyebrow. He leaned down so his mouth was close to your ear, making sure you heard every word he said. This could either go really good or really bad.

"Because you're the only ten I see."

Now you did roll your eyes. And it seemed like he was enjoying that he was annoying you. You leaned back to get more distance between the two of you and looked into his eyes. They shone with mischief and you made it your mission to put him in his place.

"Did this line ever really work?"

He shook his head and looked down at the beer in his hand. You noticed his hands fidgeting around the bottle. Was he nervous?

"No. But I thought someone like you would be annoyed at a line like this. And I was right. You see, it's kind of like my job to get under people's skin and it seems to work outside of that too. I'm Matthew."

He held his hand out to you. And as much as he annoyed you, you were intrigued by him as a person. He seemed like someone you had to get to know. So you accepted his handshake and told him your name as well. Back was the smirk on his face and you knew another remark would follow.

"It fits. A gorgeous name for a gorgeous person."

Your head snapped down in an attempt to hide the blush that was spreading over your cheeks. Grumbling a 'shut up' while shoving his shoulder. That pick up line started out an amazing conversation and at the end of the night you and Matthew were like old friends. During the conversation you switched back to cocktails so it was no surprise that you were getting more affectionate. While Matt was telling a story about how he beat up his younger brother Brady when he was twelve you couldn't help yourself to reach your hand out and run your hands through his curls. It was incredibly soft and your sexual frustration made you wonder what it would feel like to tug on it while his head was between your legs. Matt seemed to notice you starting to press your legs together to relive the pressure between your legs. Back was the smirk of the beginning of the night as he rested his hand on the top of your thigh and leaned in again. Your noses were brushing and if one of you moved only one inch your lips would touch. It made you restless.

"You wanna get out of here? My apartment is just around the corner."

You nodded and he paid for the drinks and pulled you outside to get to his apartment. The rest of the night was spent kissing each and every inch of skin with hands roaming around each other. Your bodies were moving in synch and if wouldn't have felt so amazing you might have been worried about the fact that his body felt familiar to you already.

When you were done he fell into the pillows next to you, both of you panting heavily. Assuming this would probably be a one time thing you got up to clean yourself up in the bathroom before starting to get dressed. Matthew lifted his head and looked at you through half-closed eyes. As he noticed you were getting dressed he sat up and fidgeted with his hands again.

"So this might sound weird. But can we do this again? I had a really good time tonight and I feel like we could be really good friends."

Confused by his words you raised an eyebrow for one last time that night. His face now wore a smug smile as his thoughts seemed to have traveled further.

"And the sex is great. So it would be a win-win situation for us. I just can't do a relationship right now and it would be cool if we'd have a casual thing."

As you shimmied back into your jeans you let out a giggle. And then you noticed your blouse on the floor. Ripped. He really had ripped your favorite blouse. Your eyes searched through his bedroom to find something else to wear. And you were successful. Grabbing the Grey hoddie laying on the floor and pulling it over your head you turned back to Matt to give him a cheeky grin.

"Well since we're friends now you won't mind me taking this, do you? Give me your phone so I can put my number in there."

He handed you his phone and you saved in your number with a wink emoji next to it. You gave it back to him and pressed a kiss on his cheek.

"Until next time Matty."

And you were out of his apartment.

-----

2.

The the next couple of month the hookups with Matthew became more and more regular. But you also became really good friends. You hung out at his apartment a lot and you could talk about anything and everything for hours. The flutter of your heart and the butterflies in your stomach when you were with him were blatantly ignored. You couldn't afford to fall in love with him. He had been clear from the beginning that he wasn't looking for a relationship so you granted him his wish. That didn't mean that your heart didn't ache when his phone lit up with a text from another one of his hookups and he was quick to kick you out of his apartment. Not that you would ever tell him that though.

Even when you now were considered close friends it still surprised you when Matt invited you to a team party. They had clinched a playoff spot and were now celebrating it. At first you didn't want to go. You didn't know any of his teammates and in no way wanted to intrude on their celebration. But Matt had insisted.

"Come on, babe. I need you there. You're on of my closest friends. It wouldn't be the same without you."

Babe. That had been a nickname he began using for you. It didn't help the feelings blossoming in your chest. It made it even worse. And that's also what made you break in the end.

The amount of people in Mark Giordano's house was overwhelming. People were crowding around a beer pong table and you could see some space had been made in the dining room to have a dance floor. Matthew pulled you into the kitchen first. He knew you weren't that great with new people and really shy at first. So he would get you a drink to loosen up and make you more open. While your drink was strong he just grabbed himself a beer and pulled you further to the living room. He soon found Noah and Jonny who smirked as they saw him approach with you holding his hand. Noah saw this as an ultimate opportunity to tease Matt.

"Oh would you look at that! Chucky got himself a girl. About time!"

Your cheeks glowed with a blush while Matthew only laughed and made sure to disagree with him.

"Noah shut your mouth. This is my friend (Y/N). I told you about her."

You looked at Matthew with wide eyes. He had told his teammates about you? What else had he told them?

Noah and Jonny introduced themselves to you and before the conversation could start up again a brunette head full of locks pushed themselves between Matt, Noah, Jonny and yourself.

"Matthew you brought someone! We seriously need more girls here. To even out all this testosterone."

You blushed yet again. Why would they not stop assuming you were together. The girl grabbed your hand and gave you a bright smile.

"I'm Meredith, Jonny's fiancé. Come on. I'll introduce you to the rest of the girls."

Before you could say anything else, Meredith had already pulled you away from Matthew. The rest of the night wasn't as bad as you would have thought. The girls were incredibly nice and with a couple more drinks in you were dancing with all the girls. It was a fun time.

Something you didn't notice though, was that Matt was keeping an eye on you the entire night. And it was so blatantly obvious to everyone else except for you two. Jonny nudged Noah when he noticed Matt looking after you yet again.

"Just a hook up my ass. Look at him."

------

3.

Sadly the season had ended sooner for the Flames than they would have liked. Being eliminated from the playoffs in the first round wasn't a great feeling and it was showing. The whole city felt like it was in a slump. You could only be thankful that Matt was back in St. Louis so he wouldn't have to witness it. Even if you missed his presence.

Back in St. Louis Matthew was also missing you. He had gotten so used to talkinh to you so often and spending time with you as much as he could that he swore that he was experiencing withdrawal symptoms. He constantly checked his phone to look if you had texted him and was looking through old photos of you. And again. It was incredibly obvious something had change.

Brady thought his brother was sick because he wasn't chirping him as much anymore. But then he heard Matt talking to you over the phone. He had never heard Matthew talk so soft with someone. Usually it always was snarky remarks and sometimes even straight up rudeness. But this was something else. Compliments, encouraging words and even the phrase 'I miss you'. There had to be something up with him. So he brought it up at breakfast the next morning.

Everyone else was already down at the kitchen table. Brady and Taryn were eating breakfast while Keith was reading the daily newspaper and Chantal making herself breakfast when Matthew came down. He looked like he had just rolled out of bed, which he did. What his family didn't know tho was that he had been on the phone with you for hours, even falling asleep on facetime at about 3 am. Matt rubbed his eyes as he pulled a bowl out of a cabinet and made himself some cereal. And Brady, on brand with he was, saw the perfect opportunity to embarrass his big brother.

"Matt, who were you talking to last night?"

Matt's head shot up so fast it was almost impossible. The kitchen went silent as four pairs of eyes were now on Matthew's face. He felt a blush creep up on his cheeks. Chantal narrowed her eyes at her son's blushing cheeks. He never blushed. Not even when he was young and had his first crush on a girl. Never. So this was news to the whole family.

"Uhm-"

Matt brought his hand up to scratch the back of his newly cut hair. You had scolded him last night that he better get back to clagary with curls or else. You were about as intimidating as a playful puppy, but he would never tell you that.

"I talked to a friend. She's back in Calgary and going through a tough time with college right now. "

Now Taryn's eyes were the ones narrowing. Damn those Tkachuk girls and their true suspicions.

"A female friend? Is that even possible for you?"

Matthew rolled his eyes. Of course his sister would eventually chirp her brother. He should be used to it by now. No family member is safe from chirping. Maybe their mom. But otherwise no one.

"Yes a female friend. We only hooked up a couple of times. She's just a friend that I have fun with from time to time."

The whole family except for Matthew let out a groan. No one wanted to know what or who he was doing in his free time. But Brady was still not convinced with that answer. There had to be something else.

"I don't belive you. You would not be this soft for someone who is just a hook up or a friend. There's no way."

Matthew tilted his head at the statement of his brother as if he wanted to challenge Brady.

"Well she is. Don't put your nose in my business."

-------

4.

The emotion in the locker room were going wild. Defeating the leafs was one thing but defeating them at home with a shutout was something else. Matt had scored a goal so it was understandable he was over the moon. As they started to get out of their gear Matt looked at his phone. Just as he had expected it showed a text you sent immediately after the game. A smile lit up his face.

'Congratulations Superstar. You played a good game today, that goal was incredible. I'm so proud of you. Btw thanks for letting me stay at yours. I would have never been able to concentrate with my roommates at home.'

Gio, who had been aware of the situation with you both, noticed him looking down at his phone. It was as if Matt had heart eyes. And he had been observing the pining for too long. He had to say something.

"(Y/N) texted you?"

Matt looked up from his phone and at his captain. He nodded with the smile still on his face.

"Yeah. She congratulated us on the win and thanked me that she could stay at my apartment."

Now it was Gio's turn to look confused.

"Wait -. She's staying at your apartment? Why?"

Matthew shrugs as if it's the most normal thing in the world.

"Yeah. Her roommates are always incredibly loud so when exams are coming up I let her stay at my apartment. She can concentrate better then."

Gio shook his head, not believing what he was hearing. And he's had enough. It was about time Matthew realized what was on front of him.

"Are you sure she's just a hookup? Well friend with benefits or whatever."

Matt nodded, completely sure of his answer.

There's was no way you were more than a friend, was there?

"Well it seems different to me. You spend like all your free time together. You bring her to teamparties and then watch her so nothing happens to her. When we're on the road you're constantly texting and she's staying at your apartment while you're not there because she's studying. Sounds a lot like a committed relationship to me. Figure it out. Before one of you gets hurt."

It was like an enlightenment for Matt. He realized that every little thing had first been done because of the connection you both had. That connection had later been turned into love. He had fallen in love with you without even knowing it. But he was sure that you felt the same.

He couldn't wait to get home to you. The whole flight back to Calgary he had been antsy and was fidgeting with his hands. Something he knowhe had done since he met you. You made him nervous.

He opened his apartment door to find you sitting at the kitchen table with your laptop and books scattered all over it. You were still studying. With long strides he walked up to you, something you haven't seen him do before.

"Matty what -"

You couldn't even finish your sentence before his lips were on yours. His hands cupped your cheeks as you clutched onto his wrists. Still overwhelmed with that kiss you couldn't bring a word out. Matthew could.

"I am completely, utterly, stupidly in love with you. And I know you feel the same. I'm so sorry that I'm such an idiot and didn't notice before."

With a small smile you moved your hand from his wrist to his cheek as you pulled him to you to kiss him yet again.

"You're right. I am absolutely in love with you too, Matthew Tkachuk."

------

+1

You were back in the bar you first met Matt. It brought back good memories and you couldn't wait to make more. Different to that, you were now out with the Flames and the other WAGS to celebrate an important home win. You and Matt were sitting in a booth with Jonny and Meredith as you and her were talking about the wedding preparations she had made. Matthew was talking with Jonny about something completely different but the slight glances and his hand on your thigh made you aware of his constant presence and his protective nature over you. Not that you were complaining.

After you had talked about the wedding bouquets her and Jonny had chosen, you turned to Matt.

"Babe, I'm gonna get myself something to drink. You want something?"

He shook his head and pecked your lips.

"No baby, I'm good. You go ahead."

You made your way to the bar and ordered something to drink as you felt someone tapping your shoulder. Assuming it was one of the WAGS you turned around with a smile that quickly fell when you saw the stranger before you.

One thing you could describe him as was sleazy. He had gelled back hair and his smirk was probably supposed to ooze confidence. For you it just made your hair stand up. And not in a good way.

"Hey. You alone here? I can show you a good time."

He moved closer as you pressed yourself against the bar and were looking around for your boyfriend.

"Actually-"

You didn't have a chance to finish your sentence as you heard the voice of your boyfriend freeing you from this suffocating and uncomfortable situation.

"Hey! That's my fucking girlfriend, you dipshit!"

[calwrites]

Fearless

Prequel to Don’t You

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x reader

Word count: 4.5k

————————

“Looks like it finally stopped raining.”

The murmur of the coffee shop was replaced by the sounds of the city as you followed Sebastian outside. The humidity seemed to hit you like a truck, making you miss the air conditioning you had just left.

“Finally. I thought I was going to be stuck in that coffee shop with you forever.” You laughed at the faux offended look on Sebastian’s face. “That’s what I get for not checking the weather.”

“Next time I’ll let you wait out the rain by yourself,” Sebastian threatened. His grin made the corners of his eyes crinkle a bit. Had they always done that? Had you just never noticed before?

“At least then I won’t have a bunch of teenage girls taking pictures of me the whole time. They’re scary. How do you deal with that all the time?” It had been disconcerting to have the group of girls staring at you and Sebastian as you sat and chatted. For a moment, you had thought you were crazy when you noticed them looking. The first thought you had was that you had something on your face or needed to fix your hair, but you realized why they were so focused on your table when they walked over to ask Sebastian for pictures.

Sebastian let out a sigh as he shrugged. For a second you were worried that you had said something wrong. “I just try to ignore it most of the time. I’m polite if they come up to me. I’d rather they like me than hate me.”

“I’m sure you have lots of stories. You’ll have to tell me sometime.” Your eyes widened when you realized what you’d said. What if he didn’t want to see you again? “I mean, if you’re staying in the city long. I’m sure you’re really busy.”

“I’ve got some promo to do soon, but I’m not filming again for a few months. I wanted a bit of the break.” Sebastian waved his hand. “Let’s not talk about my work. What about you? You taking the business world by storm?”

“Well I did just get a raise, so now I can almost afford my rent, groceries, and student loans.” The joys of living in New York City.

“Ah sounds like everything’s going well then. Are your parents still around?” Your parents had basically fallen in love with Sebastian when they first met him freshman year. A group of your friends had come over to your house for a movie night and Sebastian had insisted on staying to help you clean up after everyone else had left. Your mom had spent the next few weeks not so subtly dropping hints that she thought you should date him.

 “Yeah they’re still in Jersey. They tried to convince me to move in with them, but I told them I didn’t want to have to commute into the city every day. Of course, that set them off about how that’s what they’ve been doing my whole life because they didn’t want me growing up without a yard or whatever.”

“So it sounds like they haven’t changed much?” You shook your head slightly to force yourself to stop watching Sebastian as he laughed.

“No they have not.” You bumped your shoulder against Sebastian’s gently. “They’re your number one fans, you know.”

“Oh they are?” His eyebrows raised in surprise, and he was already fighting a smile, no doubt waiting to hear what embarrassing things your parents had done since high school graduation.

“They see all of your movies in theaters.” Multiple times, but you didn’t want Sebastian to think they were weirdos.

“Even the bad ones?”

“Even the bad ones. I did tell them that they aren’t allowed to buy any of the Bucky dolls.”

“They’re action figures.”

You rolled your eyes, but found yourself matching Sebastian’s smile anyway. “Whatever. It’d be weird seeing a mini version of you at my parents’ house. It’s bad enough that they still have a bunch of high school pictures hung up.”

“My mom does too. She’s going to be so excited when I tell her that I ran into you. You were always her favorite of our group.”

You stopped suddenly, grabbing Sebastian’s arm. He looked a little alarmed, but you ignored it. “Are you serious? I was always so scared of her. This is the best day of my life.” You had met Sebastian’s mom a couple of times throughout high school, but had never been able to tell whether or not she liked you.

“Scared of her? Why? Because of the accent?”

“The accent didn’t help, but really it was because she’s hot. That makes her intimidating.”

Sebastian groaned and pulled a face. “No. You can’t think my mom is hot. That’s not allowed. Take it back or I’m sending your parents all of the Bucky dolls I can find.”

“It’s not like I wanted to bang her or anything. I just think that she’s an attractive woman. Which makes sense considering how attractive you are.” Your mouth snapped shut. You weren’t sure who was blushing more, you or Sebastian. “Let’s forget about this whole conversation.” Sebastian laughed slightly and nodded.

It was silent between you two as you continued your walk through the streets. You weren’t really sure where he was going. You were heading to your car, but you couldn’t tell if Sebastian was also going somewhere or if he was just following you. If you had looked up, you would have noticed that Sebastian was watching you carefully. But you didn’t look up. Your eyes were on the pavement, watching the glow of the lights in the reflection from the rain.

“Do you remember that poster that was in our English class freshman year?” you asked suddenly. Sebastian’s brow crinkled slightly as he tried to remember, but then he followed your gaze to the glowing pavement and smiled.

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” The two of you laughed slightly as you remembered your slightly eccentric teacher. “We made fun of that poster so much.”

“It was a stupid poster. But remember it was raining when we were leaving the homecoming dance freshman year and we started dancing in the parking lot-”

“And all of our friends thought we were crazy,” Sebastian finished. “To be fair, we were crazy. That was probably the most fun part of the dance though.”

“Are you saying that I was a bad date?” You gasped and brought your hand up to your mouth as if Sebastian had offended you. Both of you dissolved into giggles.

“I’m saying that I was probably a bad date. I was so awkward. I had such a big crush on you.” Sebastian rubbed his neck uncomfortably. You definitely didn’t notice how the action made his arms look.

“Wait really?” This was news to you. You had always kind of assumed that Sebastian didn’t like you very much. He had always seemed to just tolerate your presence.

“Oh yeah. All the guys used to make fun of me because I got so awkward around you. That’s why I never talked when you were with us.”

“I just thought you were shy or something.” Or that he secretly hated you.

“Well that too,” Sebastian admitted with a small grin.

“You should have just told me. I had a crush on you too. I was so excited when you asked me to the dance.” You were so engrossed in conversation that you almost walked right past your car. “Oh, this is me.”

“Oh.” Was it your imagination or did Sebastian look disappointed? Before you could figure it out, he was smiling again. “It’s been nice catching up. We should hang out again. You still have the same number?”

You assured Sebastian that you did and the two of you exchanged more pleasantries. After sliding into your car, you watched Sebastian continue down the street. The memory of the two of you dancing wildly in the parking lot while the rest of your friends complained about the rain made you smile. You kind of wished you had asked him to dance again.

————————

Part of you already wished that this weekend would never end, even though it had barely even begun. You had finally made it out of the city and still had a couple hours of driving left, but you were already dreading having to go back into the office on Monday.

You and Sebastian had been hanging out more since running into each other last month. Most of the time, you got away without any pictures of the two of you getting out, but recently that had been getting harder and harder to do. Now, through what you could only assume was some sort of social media stalking witchcraft, people had managed to figure out who you were. The hundreds of notifications had freaked you out at first, but after deleting all of the social media apps from your phone, it was totally not a big deal.

Until your coworkers had found out. Some magazine had printed a picture of you and Sebastian, including your name underneath it, so now everyone at the office was either making fun of you by pretending to take paparazzi pictures whenever you walked into a room or constantly asking about Sebastian. Needless to say, you desperately needed this weekend away.

“Hungry eyes,” Sebastian sang, rather poorly though you suspected that was on purpose. You had seen him in musicals in high school. He half turned towards you, reaching out with one hand while the other stayed on the wheel, as he continued to sing along to the music. “One look at you and I can’t disguise these-”

“Keep your eyes on the road,” you scolded, though you couldn’t help but laugh at his bad attempt to hit a high note. “You know, I was worried that you would get us killed at the cabin, but now I know you’re going to get us killed before we even make it there. And stop caressing my hair.” You slapped his hand away for emphasis.

He reached out again to run a hand down your hair. “I am not caressing your hair-”

“Definitely were.”

“-and I am not going to get us killed. We are going to have a nice relaxing weekend at a cabin that I rented and am graciously letting you stay at without paying me back. And we aren’t going to worry about paparazzi or annoying coworkers or random people on the street with cell phones.” There may have been a incident earlier that week where you had almost gone up to a random person in the street to yell at them about taking pictures of you and Sebastian. It turned out they were just a lost tourist who barely spoke English. That was when Sebastian decided that you needed a vacation too.

“I think I’m paying you back by forcing myself to spend time with you. You’re very hard to get along with. Plus, I have no money for vacations. We can’t all be actors in Marvel movies.” The trees blurred by as Sebastian drove down the highway.

“You know, I could probably get you in the next Captain America movie. You might not have any lines, but you could stand in the background.” Had he ever offered any of your other friends from high school roles in his movies? No, you couldn't let yourself get caught up in these kinds of questions.

“Sebastian, thanks again-”

“Stop! I told you to stop thanking me-”

“Thanks again,” you continued loudly, “for inviting me. I know that you were looking forward to a relaxing weekend away before you have press stuff. If you want, we don’t have to talk to each other. I don’t want to ruin your relaxation.”

Sebastian shifted uncomfortably in his seat at your thanks, but then shot you an incredulous look. “How would you ruin my relaxation? I wouldn’t have invited you if I didn’t want to spend time with you.”

“Promise?”

Sebastian sent you a smile that was so full of warmth that you could have melted right there. You were definitely getting caught up now. You tried to snap yourself out of it by thinking about all of the reasons you could never date Sebastian. First, he was Sebastian. He knew what you looked like when you were young and awkward. He had seen the awful bangs you cut yourself sophomore year. Second, he was Sebastian Stan. Surely he’d never date a nobody like you. Not that he was stuck up now. He was surprisingly similar to how he had been in high school. It’s just, he could date models if he wanted to. You were definitely not a model. And you wouldn’t even want to date someone in the spotlight like him. Third, you had been on like two dates with the skeazy guy from accounting. If you ignored most of what he said, he was only a little skeazy. Barely tolerable really. You could work with that.

But then Sebastian ran his hand through his hair, and you had to bite your lip to stop yourself from saying anything stupid. Did he know what he was doing or was he just naturally this cool now? Either way, it was going to be a long weekend.

————————

The dance was not fun. Whoever was writing the prom scenes in all of those cheesy movies was full of crap. The decorations looked bad, your dress was uncomfortable, and you were so busy making sure everything was running smoothly that you weren’t even getting to enjoy your senior prom. You never should have agreed to head the prom committee. Surely the night would be more fun if you didn’t have any responsibilities.

Except you’d probably still be standing on the edges of the dancing watching as all of your friends danced with their boyfriends. You had thought that this would finally be the dance you had a boyfriend for, but then your boyfriend broke up with you less than two weeks before because you were spending too much time working on prom. Great. Wonderful.

It had been difficult to mentally prepare yourself to go to senior prom without a date after working so hard on it.  It had seemed almost poetic when Sebastian asked you. The two of you had gone to your first high school dance together and now you were at your last high school dance together.

Except Sebastian had barely talked to you all night. In fact, he had barely even looked at you. At least, that’s what you thought. Sebastian later confessed to you that he was scared he’d get in the way of your prom committee duties so he watched you from afar as you took care of the last minute issues. But you didn’t know that yet.

“Decided to actually acknowledge me?” you snapped when Sebastian leaned against the wall beside you.

Sebastian rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. He was probably already regretting coming over to talk to you. “I probably deserve that. You just seemed busy.”

“There were a couple of issues that I had to take care of. I still want to enjoy the dance though.”

“So let’s enjoy it.” Sebastian held his hand out to you and nodded to the dance floor. You smiled gratefully at him and took his hand, letting him lead you out.

Neither of you were great dancers, and the dance floor was maybe a little too crowded, but you made the best of it. After bumping into another couple one too many times, you and Sebastian retired back to the wall, perfectly content to watch the others and whisper amongst yourselves.

“So have you had fun tonight?” Sebastian asked. You had, which was surprising considering how badly the night had started out. Sometimes you forgot how well you and Sebastian could get on. It was so rare to talk to him one on one. You really didn’t know how prom could have gone better. You were kind of disappointed that prom was wrapping up. Already, the dance floor had begun emptying as people left for various after parties.

“I did.” Sebastian grinned, obviously pleased with your answer. “But it wasn’t nearly as good as homecoming freshman year.”

Sebastian's smile faded as he tried to recall the dance you were talking about. “Wasn’t that dance really awkward though?”

“Sure the actual dance was,” you shrugged. “But dancing in the parking lot after was one of my favorite high school memories.”

Sebastian threw his head back to laugh, his hand resting on your shoulder to steady himself. “I’ll admit that I’m kind of glad it’s not raining tonight. My mom was not happy that I got my suit wet. But we can still dance like that tonight. There’s plenty of room on the dance floor.”

“Absolutely not,” you scoffed. “We’d look crazy.”

“Everyone here is either our friend or someone who we’ll probably never see again.” Sebastian held his hand out to you. You bit your lip as you considered before meeting his eyes. He raised an eyebrow in challenge.

“Fine.” Sebastian laughed as you took his hand, once again allowing him to drag you onto the dance floor. He was truly fearless in his dancing this time. Obviously you had to follow suit and ignore the looks people were throwing you as you and Sebastian twirled and spun and jumped around. By the time it was time to leave the dance, you both were red faced and breathless with laughter. The sky was perfectly clear as you walked through the parking lot, but part of you wished it was raining so you could once again dance in a storm in your best dress with Sebastian.

————————

“I thought you weren’t talking to me because you didn’t really want to go with me.”

“What?” Sebastian took his eyes off the road quickly to look over at you. “Why would I ask you if I didn’t want to go with you?”

“I don’t know. Maybe our friends told you to since neither of us had dates.”

“You’re crazy. I was so intimidated by you that I didn’t want to get in your way.” You scoffed and started to speak but Sebastian shushed you. “You’ve always been the most impressive person in the room.”

You weren’t entirely sure how to respond to that. Sebastian Stan thought that you were impressive. But what exactly did that mean? That he thought it was neat that you managed to wrangle high school students enough to plan prom? He said ‘you’ve always’ which seemed to imply that he still felt that way. Right? But he was a successful actor. He worked with people way more impressive than you every day.

The thoughts flashed furiously through your head as Sebastian continued to drive slowly through the town. He had certainly achieved his goal to get away from the city. It was hard to believe the small town you’d spent the weekend in was so in the same state as the city. Paparazzi had certainly not been a worry for the two of you. Eventually, the car reached the end of the road. Rather than turning around and heading back into town, Sebastian put the car in park.

“I don’t want to go back,” he sighed. You had to agree with him. You wanted to stay right there. It had been so relaxing to get away from it all. No paparazzi. No fans. No coworkers. Just you and Sebastian. But it couldn’t last. You had work, and Sebastian had interviews.

“So let’s stay here,” you suggested. “We’ll stock up on food and then barricade ourselves in the cabin. We’ll obviously have to defend ourselves when Marvel comes looking for you and my company comes looking for me, but I have complete confidence that we can take them.” Not that you had reached a position in the company where they would notice you were missing. Maybe after a week or two they’d notice something was off. Marvel was sure to be quicker though.

“Ha ha you’ve made your point.” He sighed again. “This has been the best weekend I’ve had in a long time. Thanks for coming with me.”

“Thanks for inviting me.” Your voice sounded small in the sudden stillness of the car. Sebastian’s eyes flickered over your face, going from your eyes to your lips. “What did you mean earlier?”

“About what?”

“When you said that I was always the most impressive person in the room.” You were a little nervous about his answer. There was a good chance you’d made it out to be deeper than he meant. But then you remembered how fearless and free you felt when Sebastian led you out onto the dance floor at prom, and you knew you had to know the answer.

“Exactly that. I’m constantly in awe of you. The way you were the smartest person at school. I mean, I think you’re still the smartest person I know. I don’t understand anything you’re saying when you talk about work. You always knew exactly what to say to diffuse any of our friends’ drama. You’re kind and funny and always keep me on my toes.” Sebastian paused for a moment. You tried to speak, but all you could do was look at his beautiful blue eyes. “Running into you might be the best thing to ever happen to me.”

“Sebastian,” you murmured. Before you could think of anything else to say, Sebastian’s lips were on yours. You smiled into the kiss as you ran your fingers through Sebastian’s hair. It was the perfect length. You tried your best to capture the memory of this moment. The feel of his lips. His hand on your cheek. The faint sound of birds chirping outside. The patter of rain on the car roof. It was all perfect, and you wanted to remember every second of it.

————————

You didn’t know how life could get better than this. Sebastian’s hand was entwined with your own as you walked through the streets. You had been nervous about this at first. What would his fans think? So far they had been curious but benign when it came to you. Hopefully that wouldn’t change now.

You had almost cancelled when Sebastian showed up at your door. A night in suddenly sounded really good. He hadn’t let you though. Instead, Sebastian had grabbed your hand and pulled you out onto the street. You laughed as he twirled you, causing the skirt of your favorite dress to flow out.

“Good thing it’s not raining today,” Sebastian had laughed. “This would be much less enjoyable if we were getting rained on.”

“I don’t know about that. I think we normally have a pretty good time in the rain.”

 You had managed to walk to the restaurant without being spotted, though you had noticed some people taking pictures as you were eating. By the time the bill had been paid, you were more than happy to take Sebastian’s hand and follow him outside. A short walk later and the two of you were strolling around a park eating ice cream on the way back to your apartment.

“So did you have fun tonight?” Sebastian asked.

“I did,” you admitted with a smile. “It was a lot better than I was expecting.”

“Ouch.” Sebastian made a faux wounded expression that ended up making you both laugh. “I didn’t realize you thought I’d be a bad date.”

“It wasn’t you I was worried about. Your fans kind of terrify me. Not gonna lie. I half expected them to show up at the restaurant and start pelting me with rotten fruit or something.”

“That would certainly kill the mood, but I don’t think you have to worry about people throwing fruit at you.”

“No. I just have to worry about what people are going to be saying about me online.”

“Hey, stop.” Sebastian caught your hand and pulled you back to where he had stopped walking. His hands cupped both sides of your face as he looked seriously at you. “It’s going to be ok. Yeah, there are going to be some people who say some mean things. Just ignore it. It’s why I don’t bother with social media much. It doesn’t matter what they say.”

“Easy for you to say. You’re not the one they’re going to accuse of dating someone just to latch onto their fame or money.” Soon after you and Sebastian had started hanging out, the posts about you trying to use Sebastian’s game to get ahead had started. It didn’t really make much sense. Being friends with an actor wasn’t going to get you promoted any sooner. Still, they had annoyed you and sometimes made you feel weird about being around Sebastian.

“I know that you’re not using me. You know that you’re not using me. Everyone that matters will know that you’re not using me. If anything, I’m getting the better end of our relationship. I’m getting to date the most amazing woman ever.”

“Most amazing woman ever?” you repeated. “I’m not sure I have the necessary qualifications for that title.”

“Would you like to hear your qualifications?”

“Yes I would.” You giggled slightly, feeling like a kid with a crush, when Sebastian slung his arm around you and pulled you close so that he could whisper in your ear.

“You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. You are the smartest person I know. You’re kind and funny and you know all of this already because I’ve told you it before.”

“Yeah but I wanted to hear it again.” Your face was so close to Sebastian’s as you whispered back to him that your noses were almost touching. You hardly dared to breathe as your eyes flickered between his eyes and his lips. 

Sebastian just barely started moving closer when you both heard “Is that Sebastian Stan?” coming from a nearby group of people. You jumped back almost immediately, blushing like a kid who was caught holding hands on the playground. Sebastian sent you a small smile before turning to face the fans who had come up to ask for pictures. Once he was finally finished with that, he took your hand again and led you back towards your apartment. Hopefully, no one had gotten a picture of you two in the park about to kiss. Despite what Sebastian had said, you were still scared of what people would say. Your hands shook slightly as you walked, so you slipped your hand out of his, hoping he hadn’t noticed.

Quicker than you would have liked, you were back outside your apartment building. “Do you want to come up?” you asked when he stopped on the sidewalk.

Sebastian shook his head. “I have to be up early tomorrow, and, if I go up, I’m never gonna want to leave.” Sebastian grabbed your hands, which were still shaking, and pulled you close before resting his hands on your hips. “I had a great time tonight.” He smiled, making you feel a bit more brave. This was just Sebastian. The same Sebastian you had known for years growing up.

Slowly, Sebastian brought a hand up to your face, giving you plenty of time to stop him. But you didn’t want to. He was making you feel a bit fearless. You grinned as he kissed you softly. Even though it wasn’t your first kiss, it certainly felt like it. Although technically, it was your first kiss as an official couple. And it was your first kiss out in public, where someone could take a picture that would make its way through the Marvel fandom.

But that didn’t matter to you now. The kiss was flawless. And despite whatever people online were probably already posting about you, you would never regret this moment. Life with Sebastian was undeniably better than life without him. 

————————

tags

@bbl32

[toddlertimess]

I don’t know what the last thing I updated was but here’s an update:

• Cayden turned 8 yesterday. I can’t even believe I have an 8 year old. I definitely miss when he was younger but I also so much enjoy that he and I can experience things together now. We are going to New York next week to celebrate my birthday boy.

• Costa Rica and I are officially done. We tried to make things work but ultimately he pulled the same shit. If I’m being completely honest he was extremely emotionally abusive and I put up with it for so long because I was so madly in love with him. I don’t know if he’ll ever change. Abusive people rarely do and it’s not something I want to sit around and wait for. You can’t tame a wild heart.

• With that said, I’m really struggling with being 30 and single. I feel like I have a clock ticking and I need to settle down sooner rather than later but I need time to heal from CR. The damage he did to me was deep and I still struggle with feelings of pain, hurt, disappointment and anger.

• I’m working two jobs to be able to afford to live. Actually my two jobs allow me to live a very comfortable life, affording trips like New York, something I would have never been able to do 2 years ago. But I’m extremely burnt out. I’m going to speak to job #2 about a set schedule and I’m hoping that will alleviate some of this feeling. Obviously it won’t all go away but holy shit, I’m struggling with motivation.

• LOL @ me complaining about burn out and then immediately talking about applying to grad school. I’m applying this fall for a fall 2023 start. I haven’t figured out how I will juggle everything but I’ll do it.

• I have so many goals I want to achieve in the next 2 years and I’ve never been more determined to achieve them: pay off all my debt, build more credit, buy a house, grad school. I know I’ll achieve them because that’s the kind of person I am.

• I want to start utilizing this space more. I really fell off last year when my mental health took a shit but I miss this community. I’m constantly lurking but I’m gunna try to write more often

[hyunjilicious]

onlyfans #1 [ransom drysdale]

A/n: I’ve had this idea for a LONG time, and yesterday it wasn’t showing up in the tags, so I’m trying again today! This is part of a future pseudo-series, because I adore this concept. Also, prepare for cameos!!

Summary: So Ransom lost his inheritance. I hope the title doesn’t spoil his plan to make a living (SMUT) 3.4k

Warnings: spanking, daddy kink, size kink, dirty talk, domestic submission, name calling, degradation, dub con (just in case), slight spit play, breath play, taking/selling nudes (lowkey non con here lol) Ransom is a bit of an ass. 

absolutely DO NOT READ if any of the warnings mentioned above make you uncomfortable, or if you are under 18!! That being said, enjoy!!!

"Ransom!" you yelled, rummaging through the shopping bag he just left on the counter in the kitchen. "We can't afford-" you scoffed, turning a bottle of wine over in your hands. Feeling yourself fume with anger that was threatening to burst out of you at any time, you placed it back on the counter, and started looking for him around the house, "Ransom, where the fuck are you?"

"Will you stop yelling!?" you heard him groan through the wall.

Rolling your eyes and with genuine rage surging through you, you slammed the door open, so hard it hit the wall behind it. "The fuck is wrong with you? You know we're already fucking tight with money, yet you had to go and buy a $200 bottle of wine!?"

Only after the words left your mouth, did you realize what he was doing. When your eyes landed on his computer screen and you saw him playing Spider Solitaire, you felt like you were actually going to fucking hit him.

"It was the cheapest I could find" he joked, without even bothering to turn around and face you.

"I'm serious right now" you sighed, walking over and snatching his hand from the mouse, "Look at me"

And he did. He turned to look at you, with a roll of his eyes and a displeased grin on his lips, "We're doing fine, you have a good job, what the fuck do you want from me?"

"Only the president could fucking keep up with you, Ransom, I can't afford that kind of crap. If you keep that shit up, we'll both end up on the streets!"

"Don't be so dramatic, doll" he chuckled, rubbing his hand up and down your outer thigh. Grabbing a handful of your ass, he pulled you closer, "Stop worrying, we'll figure something out"

"We'd better. Because soon-"

"We will" he stopped you, grabbing even harder. His fingers sunk into your flesh, and your whole attitude changed in an instant, as you went mellow under his touch.

"Ok, then" you sighed, determined to find another way to go about this.

"Kiss me" Ransom smiled, and you obliged in an instant. He went in open mouthed, his tongue finding yours in an instant. You gave in completely, submitting to him like you always do. The way he bit into your lower lip, a tad harder than you would have considered pleasurable, made you moan softly against his lips.

"You adore me, I know" he smiled, pulling away from you. Ransom nodded towards the door, "Now go make us something to eat" he said, and then turned back to his computer, "I was busy with something"

"Busy" you mocked him, walking out of the room.

The next few hours of the day went by as usual. Ransom was hard around the edges, a difficult man to please - and god knows you had to constantly please him in order for him to accept you. But you got the hang of it, it became your routine, and you didn't mind it one bit. After having lunch, he went out to meet with a friend, while you stayed inside, making yourself busy.

When you two started getting more comfortable with one another, every now and then Ransom would insist on choosing what you wore while you were home alone with him. You loved this kink of his - he was doing it to himself, having you dress up all hot and skimpy only to have his dick get hard about 20 minutes later - it was a win-win situation. So now, still in one of the outfits he had chosen for you, and with your makeup perfectly done, you sat on the living room couch, finishing up your nails. A show about some mysterious crime that took place over 20 years ago was playing in the background, when Ransom entered the room.

"How's my favorite girl doing?" he beamed, walking over to you, blocking your view of the TV.

"She's fine" you smiled, actually surprised with how cheery he was being.

"You love me, right?"

"Of course, baby" you giggled, "So much"

"Good" Ransom said, his smile fading. "Put this on-" he added, throwing a small red paper bag into your lap, "And then come into the bedroom"

"Are you only ever nice to me when you want something?" you sighed, watching him as he walked out of the room.

"Don't be ridiculous" he laughed, "If I had to be nice every time I wanted something from you, I'd combust"

For a second, you remained dumbfounded. 'He's an asshole, but he's your asshole and you love him' you told yourself, before gathering the courage to open the bag and peak inside. Black lace. Your mouth fell open as you pulled the lingerie out - there was so little material you barely even realized how it was supposed to go. And those little patches of material? Almost completely transparent. You felt a little bit of anxiety curse though your body, but put on in nonetheless. Feeling entirely naked, you put the robe back on over the lingerie, and headed to the bedroom.

In an instant, you spotted Ransom sitting at his desk, scrolling through his phone. Once he noticed you, he pointed to the bed.

"Take that off and lay down"

Halfheartedly, you listened to him, and then padded over to the bed, wondering what you did wrong. You sat down and leaned back, watching him march up to you.

"Not like this" he said, effortlessly spinning you around to lay on your stomach. "Ass up"

Swallowing thickly, you arched your back and perched your ass up. "What's going on?" you questioned, already getting wet under his hungry stare.

"Shut up, baby" he whispered, groping your thighs and hips. "Stay like this, ok?"

You weren't going to object, but when you felt him distance himself from the bed and walk across the room, your curiosity got the best of you, "Why?"

"Told you something, pet" he threatened, "Keep that sweet little mouth of yours shut. You can do that, can't you?"

"Yeah, ok" you whined.

The anticipation was killing you. The tension between your legs was getting more and more difficult to ignore, and rubbing your thighs together proved futile. A powerful wave of eagerness washed over you when you heard Ransom walk over. You didn't even get to wonder what he was doing, before he slapped your ass hard. You gasped in surprise, but you didn't get a chance to react before he went again. Slap after slap, each growing in intensity against your sensitive skin.

The only thing that interrupted your whines were a few soft moans, as you kicked your legs and squirmed under him, "Fuck-"

"Does it hurt?" Ransom asked, spanking your ass one more time.

"Yes" you cried.

"Good, baby" he hummed, rubbing your inflamed skin. He wasn't as gentle as you wished, his touch burning all the way down to your bones. 

You tried to wiggle away, but he was quick to stop you, "Daddy's not finished with you yet. It has to hurt, ok? You need to be Daddy's good little slut and take it"

"I am" you nodded.

"What are you?" he asked, his smile audible in his tone.

"Daddy's good little slut" you repeated, your own words making the pain between your legs skyrocket.

"That's right, pet. That's why you're gonna take all that Daddy has to give you, even if it hurts, yeah? Daddy always knows better than you" Ransom said. 

You nodded again, bracing yourself for the impact. But it didn't come. Instead you felt him play with your ass, working strong, marron bruises into your skin. As you started to relax and get used to the feeling, he grabbed your underwear and pulled it down your thighs, leaving you completely exposed to him. "You love this, don't you, doll?"

"I do" you squealed, fisting the cotton bed sheets into your palms.

"Such a wet cunt for me" he said, tracing your opening with his pointer finger, "Practically begging for my cock, always fucking ready to be ruined"

You whined, the pressure he was applying only managing to drive you even crazier. "Please-"

"Please what?"

"Please fuck me"

"No, baby" Ransom chuckled, rubbing his hand over the curve of your ass, "Not tonight"

"But Daddy-" you began to protest, but your words were cut short by another spank, this one hitting differently.

With your skin already on fire, you felt yourself getting closer and closer to tears with every slap delivered. Unconsciously, you started to pull away from him, but that didn't stop him in any way. Ransom kept going until he felt you'd had enough, only then stopping. "Good girl" he spoke, leaning down to kiss the skin he had just abused, "You take it so well, baby. You're a gem"

"Thank you, daddy" you moaned, shuffling around the bed. You wanted to wrap your arms around him, but he stopped you again.

"On your knees, baby, c'mon" he commanded, pointing to the fluffy red carpet next to the bed. "Daddy deserves to have his cock sucked, doll, so get to it"

Without even thinking twice, you jumped off the bed and sunk to your knees, hands on his thighs as you looked up at him.

"Always so hungry for my cock" he shook his head, lacing his fingers through your hair, "I'm gonna record you, angel, but don't freak out. Just suck my dick like you do everyday, yeah?"

"Ok"

"And take that bra off, I wanna see your tits"

You obliged in an instant, heart beating out of your chest. When he pulled out his phone and pointed the camera down at your face, you gulped, but then nodded eagerly, big doe eyes trained up at him. Ransom didn't wait any longer before he shuffled out of his jeans, his massive, already hard cock springing out.

Although slightly anxious about having a phone pointed at you, you fought to not let it bother you. Rubbing your hands up and down his length a few times, you looked up at him, licking your lips.

"Open that whore mouth for me, yeah?" Ransom commanded.

As soon as you followed his order, he bent down, spitting on your tongue. With your eyes locked onto the camera, you swallowed and then opened your mouth again.

"Want more, huh?" he laughed, playing with your hair.

"Yes, please!"

"How about you throat my cock first, and then we'll see if you deserve it?"

Without even giving him any kind of approval, you went in, bringing the tip of his cock into your mouth. You sucked wholeheartedly, hollowing your cheeks around his massive member. Bopping your head up and down, you closed your eyes, enjoying the feel of his tip against your tongue. When you felt yourself prepared enough, you pushed yourself further along his cock, allowing it to brush past the back of your throat. Your gag reflex instantly kicked in, but you fought it, remaining in place. 

"That's right, angel-" Ransom grunted, gripping the roots at the top of your head into his hand.

Feeling your oxygen supply run low, you wanted to pull away, but he wasn't having it. He easily controlled your movements, pushing his cock even further down your throat.

"Angel-" he panted, as you struggled against his hold, "You were made to be face fucked"

You had your arms wrapped around his strong thighs, your manicured nails sinking into his skin, hoping you'd get his attention. It didn't work.

By the time he let you go, you had tears running down your cheeks, your mascara almost reaching your chin. You fell backwards, desperate for a breath of air.

"You look better with your makeup like this, love" Ransome laughed, wiping your tears with the back of his fingers, "Suits you"

After regaining your composure, you pushed yourself back up, getting ready to resume your work. However, Ransom had other ideas as he grabbed his member, slowly pumping it in his own hand.

"Tongue out, slut" he said.

You listened to him, and felt a rush of ecstasy course through you when he slapped his cock against your tongue and then your cheeks. His tip was already leaking precum, and you swallowed obediently every drop that landed inside your mouth.

"You want it back?" he asked, grinning.

"Yes"

"Balls first, baby"

Bracing yourself against his thighs, you leaned forward, connecting your lips to the soft skin of his balls. You sucked deeply, applying the kind of pressure you knew would drive him crazy. "Fuck, fuck, yes, come on-" he grunted, bucking his hips into you.

You were nowhere near done when he grabbed your hair again and manhandled you to take his cock down your throat. Your frame fell limply under his hold, as you forced yourself to relax and obey him for as long as you could.

"That’s right-" he moaned, "don't fight it. You know that's my favorite thing about you? The way you worship my dick, you fucking slut"

As he spoke, he forced you deeper down his cock. No matter how hard you tried to resist, you couldn't help but start to squirm around, trying to push him away.

"Don't be a fucking bitch, Y/n" Ransom huffed, keeping you in place, as your throat muscles constricted around his tip, "Just fucking take it"

With a fresh wave of tears streaming down your face, you slapped his thighs frantically, until he finally allowed you to breathe again.

"I'm so fucking close, baby" he grinned, as you panted your lungs away. "Look up at me, I wanna see those that dumb look in your eyes whenever you take my cock"

Mouth agape as you still worked on regulating your breathing, you looked up, right into the camera. "That's it! Yeah, that's my slut, I can see it in your eyes, baby"

If it were up to you, you would have waited more. But Ransom was having none of that. Instead, he grabbed your hair again, this time controlling your movements completely. He forced your mouth along his cock, bopping your head up and down until his hips started shaking and he couldn't take it anymore. Proud with yourself for getting through this without panicking, you leaned back and opened your mouth.

Ransom's grunts and pleasure filled moans filled the room, as his cum started shooting out of his cock. Little droplets ended up inside your mouth and on your lips, and maybe intentionally or by mistake, he shot a few pumps on your cheeks and in your hair. But you remained there, motionless, waiting for his next move.

With the phone still pointed at you, Random used his thumb to gather all the cum you had missed, before shoving his finger into your mouth.

"Always eager to suck on something, aren't you?"

You proudly nodded.

After that he threw his phone on the bed, and helped you up. He instantly went in for a kiss, his arms wrapping around your body to play with your ass while his tongue dominated yours. He owned you completely.

"Go run a bath, baby" Ransom said, slapping your ass, "I'll be right there"

"But.." you hesitated, "What about me?"

"What about you?" he asked, cluelessly.

"I didn't finish…"

"It's early, love" he smiled, kissing your forehead, "Let's take a bath now, and then daddy will take really good care of you, yeah?"

And he did. He kept his word. You jumped in the bathtub about 5 minutes later, settling between his legs. He held you in his arms, kissing all along the curve of your neck, playing with your breasts as he kept telling you about his plan to take over his grandfather's company.

Eventually, with you being your needy self, he had you straddle his hips, as he sunk his cock into your pussy. You went limp against his chest, your pussy every now and then clenching around him as he tickled your sides and played with your ass. When the water started to get cold, all it took for you to finish were a few simple rolls of your hips, Ransom following closely behind, much to your surprise. 

That night, he didn't ask you to cook anything for him, instead just ordering and sharing a pizza. As you waited for it to be delivered, Ransom ate your pussy into oblivion on the kitchen table, joking about how your cunt was the most delicious thing to ever touch that surface.

The following days went by similarly. He was always down to get dirty, but the one thing that was different now was his constant need to film you. With time you got perfectly comfortable with it, putting on a show for him with every chance you got. It was just a matter of time until you barely even noticed it.

One day, as you ran your usual errands, when you stopped by the bank, something caught your eye. You instantly requested the balance, and you almost dropped the piece of paper when you read the numbers. You paid the cashier a polite goodbye, and stormed out of the bank, your phone glued to your ear.

"Pick up, pick up, pick up!!" 

But he didn't.

You rushed home, palms sweaty against the steering wheel. God, you hoped it wasn't what it seemed. What troubled you the most, was that you weren’t even 100% mad. There was some other kind of emotion there, but you pushed it aside. As soon as you reached your house, you stormed inside, bursting into Ransom's office without bothering to knock first. 

And this time, you caught it. For a split second, you managed to see the video open on his computer, before he switched the tab back to Spider Solitaire. 

"You fucking asshole!" you yelled, slamming the piece of paper against his chest, "You sick fuck! You thought I wouldn't notice?"

"Come on, baby" Ransom chuckled, way too relaxed for how enraged you were. He spun his chair around to face you, extending his hand to grab yours, "Relax, I only-"

"You only what?" you interrupted him, "Sold my nudes? Are you insane?"

"Don't talk to me like that-" he threatened, leaning his head to the side, "You know I don't appreciate it"

"And I don't apreciate you posting my sex tapes on the Internet!"

He grinned, "That’s not the same thing"

"Yeah!" you scoffed, throwing your arms into the air, "What you did is so much worse!"

"Careful there, baby" he shook his head.

You wanted to protest again, but he stood up. Ransom took a menacing step towards you, towering over your small frame, the fire in your attitude instantly dying down.

"You don't get to talk to me like that-" he whispered, rubbing his thumb across your bottom lip, "But I'll let it slide this time, doll, because that's exactly why I didn't tell you earlier. Wanted to see you panick a bit"

"Ransom…" you whined, "You should've asked"

He shook his head no, "You know I never ask, I just take. You should've considered this when you decided to be mine"

"I would have been into it, but I still wished you had told me" you said softly, too shy now to even look into his eyes.

"We talked about this, you're mine, I make the calls, not you"

"I know, Ransom, but-" you whined, but he grabbed your cheeks between his hands and stopped you.

"But what?"

You blinked a few times, "But nothing, I'm sorry I yelled, you're right"

"Of course I am" he chuckled, kissing your forehead, "See what happens when you worry, baby? Just be a good little girl and do what you're told without whining and bitching around, and everyone will be happy. We don't have to fight if you listen to me"

"I love you" you pouted, pressing yourself against his chest.

"Love you too, pet" he responded, slapping your ass a few times. 

As things finally calmed down, you decided to go change and then return to Ransom's office so he could show you how the page was doing. Just when you were about to walk out the door, he called after you. "Oh, and Y/n?"

"Yes?"

"Love, some of the ideas I've gotten over the past few days where actually requests from our subscribers. Today will be fine, nothing new, but tomorrow we have a threesome. Some dude, Lee Bodecker, handsome guy, make yourself pretty, you'll love him!"

[ellavogues]

what did you wish for? - harry styles

summary: long distance has put a strain on harry and yn’s relationship, especially as his birthday is fast approaching

a/n: last repost from my old blog, i still freaking love this. this fic means a lot to me because parts of it was based off of my own life. as always, ily all <3

masterlist

The light turned to dark as she sat by her phone watching reruns of  The Office, waiting for Harry to call her like he did every night. Her  day was particularly bad, everything that could’ve gone wrong went wrong  - from her forgetting her umbrella when it was bucketing down to her  somehow locking her car keys in her car (which led to her incurring a  $200 fee for the roadside assist service getting them out). Then, when  she trudged home in the pouring rain, clothes completely soaked and her socks inside her shoes wet, she received an email informing her the  elevators in her building were out of service. Unluckily for her, she lived on the 16th floor.

All she wanted was to see his smile to  turn her day around. Harry never failed to turn her worst days into good  ones just by being him, but being in a long distance relationship put a  strain on that. Sure, they would visit each other every now and then, but both of their jobs were demanding and meant they couldn’t travel as  much as they wanted to. Harry could travel more than she could, but she  didn’t think it was fair that he’d always have to be the one to hop on a  plane and fly across the world.

The familiar ringtone played and her eyes lit up in excitement. Y/N reached for the phone and answered to hear him yelling  some utterance at his friend, to which his friend responded with something  equally as snide.

A smile crept onto her lips as she lightly  giggled at his attitude to his friend, and she could almost feel them roll her eyes at his snarky remark. Y/N would be lying if she said the  huff of annoyance he let out as he returned his attention to her wasn’t hot, as well as the way he ran his fingers over his stubble then through his curly hair.

“How do you want to celebrate your birthday, Haz?” Y/N  asked softly, not wanting to make his bad mood worse and hoping the  change of subject would make him happy.

Harry sighed, closing his  eyes as he composed his answer. “What’s the point?” His tone wasn’t soft  like hers, nor was it disappointed. It appeared that he was angry that  she brought up the topic. In a matter-of-fact tone, he continued,  “You’re not in London with me, you’re in New York. There’s no point in celebrating with you if you’re not here.”

“We can FaceTime?”

He rolled his eyes at her suggestion as if it was the stupidest thing he had heard, and sarcastically laughed at her.

“What’s  with your attitude, Harry? I want to celebrate with you! It’s not my fucking fault that I can’t be in London!” She frowned, frustrated that the distanc  between them was the topic of conversation, like it always seemed to be.

Harry scoffs in response, the look on his slightly pixelated face dumbfounded  that you would even suggest that it wasn’t your fault. “I have offered  to fly you out to London many times, Y/N. There are plenty of jobs for you  out here that you could apply to and that you know you would get because  you’re so damn good at what you do,” he retorted, tired and irritated.  Though Harry was usually incredibly patient with everyone, especially her, these increasingly frequent conversations had begun to wear him  thin and gradually made him resent FaceTiming her at all, despite still  being completely and utterly in love with her. “You’re being stubborn about moving for no reason.”

They were both quite stubborn individuals, but in the past Harry was usually the one that compromised to make her happy. He valued her happiness over getting his own way.  When they reconnected a year ago, a few years after finishing school, and quickly realised their friendship was based on more-than-friend feelings they faced the problem of living in different countries. Although it seemed like a breeze at first, Harry scoffing at  anyone who claimed long distance would be hard, as their feelings grew  deeper and his visits less frequent, they both longed for a more  physical presence of the other, rather than just virtual. This was  something Harry was absolutely not willing to compromise on. He had his whole life in London, and he knew that he could give her the life she deserves if she  would just take up his offer. He knew she was scared of leaving her  family behind to move in with him, and he understood. Harry tried to keep his cool about this topic, but eventually he became exasperated.

“No  good reason? Why should I be the one to move? Why is it me that has to pack up my entire life just to be with you?’” She scolds him for being so rude, and feels like he’s completely brushing off her feelings. “You are able to work from wherever you are. I am not. you should be the one  to move.”

“Me?” Harry was astounded at was his girlfriend’s  response, and was indigent at her crazy suggestion. “I can not leave London just because you’re scared of leaving the city you’ve been in all your life.  My work is in London, you know this. You know I have to be here to work,  just because I technically could still record in New York does not change that the majority of my work and networks are in London. You’re being a bit dramatic and unfair about this, Y/N. I’m tired of arguing about this all the time.  Goodnight.”

The fact that he hung up on her makes her see red,  blood boiling as she clenched her fists and teeth. He knew what he was  asking of her; to pack up her whole life just to be with him. He was being selfish and unreasonable and she was being exhausted of having  this stupid argument that neither of them ever won every time they talked. She felt like he never considered her friends here in New York,  and that he always brushed off how she felt about the move. This fight  had gradually become more tense as time went on, as they knew that a  decision would eventually have to be made if they wanted their  relationship to grow.

///

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she claimed.

“I  know you and H had a fight,” Harry's friend responded, the one on the phone earlier. “He told me what  happened and he feels really bad. Like, really. I know he would really appreciate it if you were here for his birthday.”

She sighed,  starting to feel slightly guilty too for the way she reacted. She feels  even more guilty for the fact that they hadn’t spoken at all in the past  3 days, besides a text from Harry simply saying Sorry for hanging up on you.  When Y/N received the text, she was still calming down from their argument, still hurt by the way he made her feel that her career wasn’t  as important as his. She still loved him, and she still misses him, though.

“I can’t afford a ticket, you know that. Not everyone makes a fuck ton of money like you and Haz-”

The friend chuckled softly over the phone before reassuring Y/N, “I’ll  pay for it. Come and surprise him, he’ll feel a lot better and it’ll  give you guys a chance to work it out in person, where you can’t just  hang up on each other.”

Y/N knew that his friend was right, she knew that she and Harry needed a face to face conversation about the future  of their relationship because long distance hadn’t seemed to be working  for them anymore. Their virtual dates, while well thought out and  romantic, weren’t the same as being there in person with him. Being  there and lightly brushing legs as they sat down at the small table,  hearing his laugh without the audio cutting in and out, being able to  hold each other’s hands. It wasn’t the same.

Maybe that is why Y/N and Harry had been arguing so much, because their relationship relied on strong wifi connections and the ability to be on their phones all  day. And it wasn’t enough for either of them anymore.

“Okay, thank you. I’m really grateful you’re doing this for us,” Y/N finally responded, expressing her gratitude.

His friend felt a wave of relief, ecstatic that Harry might finally get out of his shitty mood. Even though he didn’t mean to take out  his annoyances on his friends, and he apologised every single time he  gave them an uncalled for attitude, but it seemed his bad mood was never dissipating. When finally asked what was wrong, bursting through his door in a fit of exasperation, he broke down and told her about  their FaceTime, and all their FaceTimes before it. About how every subject they discussed seemed to lead to the same topic: the distance between them. He admitted he regretted his harsh words, and regretted him acting like he thought his job was more important than hers.

“It’s really not a problem,” his friend promised. “I’ll email you the flight  details and the invite, I can’t wait to see you! It’s been so long!”

“It’s been, like, a month and a half. Not that long.”

“That is so long! I miss you like crazy.”

“I  miss you too,” Y/N giggled.

She flopped back on her bed, grinning from ear to ear and  excited she would finally be able to see her boyfriend again, yet dreading the impending and necessary conversation they would have to have.

//

Y/N had anxiously got out of her Uber when she  arrived at a friend's house for Harry’s surprise party. She was  visibly shaking, stuttering as she said thank you to her driver, nervous  that his reaction wouldn’t be good when seeing her. She was scared that he didn’t want her here anymore after their fight, despite his friend constantly reassuring her that he would be over the moon to see her.

She  knocked on the front door, which his almost immediately answered.  “Hey! Y/N!”

The loud exclamation earned the attention of  the other attendees of the party, all shocked to see Y/N after Harry had repeatedly, and bitterly, told them that she was going to be in New York for his birthday.

“Hey,” Y/N smiled,  greeting everyone. She glanced around the room, seeing the fairy lights  hanging from the ceiling, the island bench covered with a gold table  cloth, the backyard decorated with gold balloons and streamers. “Woah,  the party is super cool! Harry is going to love it.”

“Harry is going to love that you’re here and not in New York.”

When Harry finally arrived, the lights were switched off and  everyone scurried to grab their phones out to film. Y/N waited behind everyone as  the group gathered close together to surprise him when he walked in.

“Oh my god,” Harry spoke. “It smells funny in here.”

She let out a quiet giggle at his comment, but was quick to muffle it before he heard it was her.

When he made it past the gold streamers that blocked the front door from the living area, everyone yelled out SURPRISE,  going crazy and covering Harry with confetti. His face had pure joy,  happiness and gratefulness plastered all over it, ecstatic that his  friends would do something so sweet for his birthday, although he most  likely already knew about the party. He glanced around the room, and  almost had to do a double take when he saw his girlfriend. Y/N had told  him she wouldn’t be able to make it, making him dread his birthday since  he didn’t see a point in celebrating it if it wasn’t with her.

When  the crowd had dispersed, Harry made his way over to her and grabbed her  chin gently, tilting her face up before saying “Hey, love” and kissing her softly. He broke the kiss and pulled his girlfriend into a warm embrace.  She was so glad to see him, in person, to be able to hold his hand and  hug him and just be around him. In person.

They were pulled  out of their moment when Harry’s friend asked if they wanted a  picture, to which Y/N responded no and he responded yes.

“Don’t be shy, love,” he teased, smiling like a cheshire cat as he put her hair  behind her ears. “I want to remember you being here tonight, let’s take the picture.”

It wasn’t long until it was time to cut the cake,  Harry having Y/N by his side the whole night because he didn’t want to  waste a minute he could spend with her. Being with him reminded Y/N why  they were dating, and why she loved him. As the night went on, she felt  the fight that was seemingly big feel less important, because she  realised that she was making excuses as to why she couldn’t move to London  with him. She was being stubborn for no reason, and she noticed that the  only thing holding her back was her. Not her job, she could find a new  one in London, not her family because she barely saw them anyway, not her friends because half of her friends were in London with Harry anyway. When she saw Harry walk through those streamers, it became crystal clear how silly she was  being.

Harry knew what he wanted, and being with her that night just made him more sure. He decided he wasn’t going to stop fighting for  his relationship with her, and if that meant he had to settle down his  requests for her to move to London with him so she felt more comfortable, he would do that. Despite wanting nothing more than to live with her, to  wake up every morning and see her face, to Postmate her favorite coffee every morning, to surprise her with spur-of-the-moment dates every now  and then. He wanted her, and he was willing to wait if that’s what he  needed to do.

After everyone sang happy birthday to him, his arm slung loosely around her, he blew out his candles.

“What did you wish for, H?”

[felix21im]

"Ice Cold", a Leon Kennedy x reader fanfiction

As an Art and Design student all you want to do is just knuckle down and finish that one goddamn piece you've been working on for months. Too bad your time is constantly stolen by your Waiter job with minimal pay, but hey, at least the tips are good if you unbutton your shirt that one more time.

Masterlist

Chapter 4: The Party

This chapter is intended for mature audiences (18+).

While the main core of this chapter is gender neutral and SFW, the ending is written for a general female reader. The male reader part will be in the next post separately. If you would like to read neither you will be notified when to click away and when to start reading again.

A few weeks passed after you finished your “passion project”, as Alex and Jordan lovingly called it. You went to visit Leon a few times after that again but he was often out for work, which made it hard to stay in personal contact. You never found out what he did for work and where he went but as soon as he was away from home you felt him changing a little. Even though you mainly texted each other, he sometimes even called you. When this was the case he often was drunk and you wondered if he really went out for work or just to party. As soon as he was back you never had the chance to ask him if he's keeping anything from you. Whenever you tried to talk about the calls or messages he left for you he changed the subject. So you just learnt to live with it because you didn't want to make him mad or be annoyed by you.

Since it was your birthday in only a few days you wondered if Leon forgot his idea of partying at his place. Maybe he wouldn't even be home by then, you thought to yourself.

You were just eating dinner with your roommate Jordan as your phone lit up again. “Let me guess, Leon again?” You checked your phone just to confirm their premonition. You let out a small sigh. “What is it this time? I don’t know about you, but I think he's acting kinda odd lately and I never even met him!”

“Yea, I don't really know either. Maybe he's just overworking or something, I don’t know. I mean, he always liked to drink so maybe too much work doesn't really help with that.” You lay your phone to the side, eating the rest of the food you prepared earlier. It was nothing compared to Angel’s food but it was all you could afford to buy this week. It made you think about that money Leon offered you back then. Maybe declining it wasn't your best idea.

After Jordan and you finished eating and cleaning you went back into your small room and Jordan left the house to meet with a friend. You unlocked your phone again to see what Leon was up to this time. You noticed he had sent multiple messages already, asking if you were ignoring him or whatever. You quickly answered and reassured him that you weren't ignoring or pissed at him. He then asked about your day and what you were up to the next few days. You let out a small laugh. “Hmm, I don´t know.. Maybe celebrate my birthday or something like that.” You were unsure if he was just messing with you or actually forgot about it. You tried to respond calmly but it didn't really work as you hoped it would. Instead you sounded wayyy too ironic and pissed and you were angry at yourself.

You wanted to throw your phone away but Leon answered once again before you had the chance to do so. “I’m just messing with you, Buttercup ;) how could I ever forget your birthday? - Leon”, the message said. You couldn't stay mad for too long, especially not after Leon sent a picture of him after it. You hadn't seen him in so long so you weren't really prepared for what's gonna come. And even if you had seen him before, nothing could have prepared you for this. He sent a picture of himself, probably after working out. He was looking at the camera, his face in bright red and sweat covering his whole upper body. And he wasn't even trying to hide his muscular body. You were unable to move, you didn't even know what to do or say right now. You were happy that Jordan was out of the house right now, that meant you could have some alone time to yourself and that picture…

Another few days flew by and before you knew it, it was your birthday. You were woken up by Jordan, who came into your bedroom singing “Happy Birthday” as loud as they possibly could. You looked at them tired but soon had a smile resting on your face. After Jordan finished singing they came over to give you a nice hug. “Happy 21st birthday! I got us a small cake, we can eat it now if you want. And.. I also got some presents for you!” They pushed you out of the bed and into the small living room.

On the small table was a cake and a few small presents, but the biggest was seated on the old couch. “Leon!”

You had a big smile on your face and practically ran into his arms. “Happy Birthday, Buttercup. I hope my little surprise worked.” You nodded as hard as you could and sat down besides Leon. You opened the presents from Jordan and thanked them for it. Then Leon reached down into a bag that was laying next to his feet. “I also got you something. You’re probably gonna need this today.” You looked at him confused, took the wrapped present and opened it. You felt some kind of fabric on your fingers and pulled it out.

You spread it out before you and realized that Leon had bought you your own suit. You actually remembered a similar one in Leon’s closet back then. “Wow, Leon! This is so pretty, I don't even know what to say!” You went back to hug him again.

“Don't worry about it. Angel actually got you something for it as well. Here.” He gave you another small bag. In it was a purple bow-tie, the exact purple you painted the living room with. In the bag was also a fake clematis, which you could put into your suit jacket pocket.

“This is so nice! Thank you guys so much! I can't wait to wear it.” Jordan and Leon had to laugh because of your excitement.

“Let's eat some cake first, birthday kid, before you mess that new fancy suit of yours up!” Now it was your turn to laugh. You nodded in agreement before sitting back down. Jordan cut the cake in three pieces and each one of you enjoyed their piece of it.

After eating and drinking some tea you gave Jordan your dirty plates so they could clean them up. While they were doing that you grabbed your new suit and went to go into your room. “I'll be back in a few. Please make yourself comfortable and if you need anything, just ask.” You told Leon before leaving the living room and going into yours. You got rid of the pyjamas you were still wearing and put on some fresh underwear.  You then lay the suit on your bed and looked at it in detail. It contained black pants, a white collared shirt with shiny buttons, an almost blackish purple vest and jacket with the fitting bow tie and flower from Angel. You began putting on the pants, followed by the shirt and vest. You then put on the bow tie and went to leave the room with the jacket and flower laying over your arm. Before stepping outside though, you realized you didn't have any fancy shoes that fit your outfit. You decided to just put on some white sneakers, hoping it would look at least kind of okay.

As you left the room you almost walked into Leon, who was standing in front of your door. “Oh, I’m sorry. I just wanted to see if everything was alright..” He looked at you from head to toe. “Wow.. You look wonderful, Buttercup.”

You felt your cheeks heat up once again as you tried to find the right words to thank him. “Thank you so so much, Leon. I don’t think I've ever worn something so fancy and expensive, I really like it.” You looked up to him, a big smile covering your face.

Leon then reached out his hands, fixing your bow tie a little. “I just gotta make sure you look perfect. Now, put on your jacket so I can add that flower and I think then we should be ready to go.” You nodded and he helped you get into the jacket. After that he added the clematis into your chest pocket. He then took a step back looking at you. “This is perfect. Well then, should we go?” He held out his hand for you to take before going to the front door. You grabbed your phone and keys and then left together with him. Jordan was already waiting outside, also wearing a shirt covered by a black vest and some jeans. The three of you then left the building and went to Leon's car.

As you arrived at Leon’s home you already saw multiple people putting up signs or preparing stuff. You looked at Leon shocked, since you didn't think it would be this big of a party. Even Jordan couldn’t stop themself from letting out a surprised “Wow.” You nodded in agreement, unable to find any words. The moment Leon stopped on the driveway you could see Angel coming closer and then opening the car door for you. You thanked her and got out of the car, also thanking her for the presents she got for you. For a short second it seemed that she had a tiny smile on her lips but it happened so fast, you weren't sure if you just imagined it.

You felt a light tap on your shoulder taking you back to the now. “Come with me. I actually got another present for you. But it wouldn't fit in your home.” Leon took your hand and led you through the crowd of people. He then let go of you, standing behind you and covering your eyes. “Do you trust me?” He asked to which you answered with a slight nod. You felt him start walking so you also started going forward. After a short while of walking and taking turns he finally stopped you. He slowly lifted his hands from your eyes and added some dramatic sound effects with his mouth.

As soon as your eyes got used to the light you looked around. You were still outside near the house, but somewhere you never went before. In front of you stood a black car, already showing signs that it wasn't completely new. You turned back to Leon, looking at him confused. “What..What am I supposed to do with this now?” You asked him kind of dumbfounded as if you missed something.

Leon let out a small chuckle while walking to the car and unlocking it. “This, my dear, is your own new car. I mean, not really new, I used it before and it's actually kind of old, but I don't have any use for it anymore.”

You looked at him, still unsure on how to react. “You do know that I don't have a driver's license, right?” You slowly walked toward the car and checked it out.

“Of course I do. But I took care of that as well. A friend from work will be your teacher for a few weeks. You’re going to be getting driving lessons every day and before you know it you can drive all by yourself. I promise you, everything is gonna work out just fine.”

You still looked at him, raising an eyebrow. “I- Leon, this is really nice of you but-”

He stopped you before you had the chance to finish that sentence. “-Nope, no buts. I'm giving this to you now and I don't want you to return it to me like that money a few months back. You hear me?” Before being able to argue he threw the car keys over to you, leaving no room for discussion.

You sighed and had to chuckle. “Alright then. Thank you, Leon. I mean it. I don't know how I deserve all this. There's no way I'll ever be able to repay you.”

“That's the reason all these things are gifts, Buttercup. I don't want anything in return. I just like to help you out a little.” He winked at you before taking your hand and leading you back to the main party.

From a few meters away you could see Angel talking to another woman and a man. You recognized the man as the one who was with Leon at that bar a few months back. He was also wearing a fancy suit. The woman next to him was wearing a yellow dress, making her an eye catcher when combined with her pink hair. Leon and you walked right up to them, unfortunately interrupting their conversation. Leon cleared his throat, making your presence known to them. The three of them turned to look at you, realizing who you were. “Happy birthday!” The small woman with the pink hair pulled you into a hug, resting her head on your chest as she rocked you back and forward. “Angel has told me a lot about you!” She said as she pulled away. “Leon’s friend!”

Leon introduced them to you. “This is my colleague Chris and his assistant Daisy.” He pointed toward the two people and gave you a smile.

You let out a small “Hello” before you started talking some more. “It’s nice to meet the both of you.”

“It’s nice to meet you properly.” Chris held out his hand for you to shake and you gladly accepted it. “It’s weird to think that just a simple dinner between Leon and I allowed for the two of you to meet.” He chuckled. Chris then began to talk about how long he and Leon had known each other and that they often go out for “jobs” together. You tried finding out what kind of jobs they were, but never got a serious answer. At one point it was just you Daisy, Angel and Leon. They began to tell you about their relationship and how long the two of them had been together. You had never seen Angel so happy.

After you guys warmed up, Leon left you to stay with them to change as well. The three of you went to the backside of the house to see the preparations that Leon and Angel made. Eventually you ended up sitting down at one of the patio tables with Chris and the two of you drank a glass of champagne together.

You and Chris chatted for a while as you began to see the courtyard fill up with people. You barely recognised anyone and wondered who invited them all. There were college kids and older adults.

After a small while Leon came back to you and Chris, now also wearing a suit that looked identical to yours. You looked at him and couldn’t hide a smile. “Looking good, Mr. Kennedy.” You said to him jokingly.

“I can only return that compliment.” He winked at you. As the last guests arrived, Angel allowed for people to get the fresh food that was just finished up for them. You also got a plate and went to get something nice to eat. You and Leon went up together and he helped you pick out some food, although it was plain you just went for some meat and cheese. After getting your dinner, you and Leon sat down next to Chris on a small table. Soon after, Alex and Jordan also joined filling all your glasses with some champagne they found on their way through the house. You didn't even want to ask where they were sneaking around and just thanked them. Like always, Leon added some ice into his drink before clinking your glasses together. You all then ate and drank together, enjoying each other's company and having a lot of fun. This time you didn't really worry too much about how much you or even Leon had drunk. You were just glad to have a big birthday party with all your new friends.

Once it hit around midnight most of the guests began to leave, leaving only a handful of you left. The evening was really great, you met some new people and also drank a lot. Now you and Alex sat at the edge of the pool with a bottle of beer in each of your hands. You must have been there for a while because at some point Leon came over to tell you to get away from the pool. “C’mon, you’re going to get cold over here.” He held out his hand for you to take but rather than accepting it like always you simply looked at it.

“No.” You replied to him as you looked out towards the pool and you took your shoes and socks off, placing them behind you on the floor. “I’m having a grand ole time over here!” You dipped your feet into the water.

“I don’t want you to fall in.” He crouched down beside you and looked at both you and Alex. “The pair of you are pretty drunk and I’d rather you stay with the adults.”

“I am an adult, Leon.” You turned to scoff at him, pointing your finger in his face. “I’m pretty sure I know how to look after myself. I can make my own decisions, I don’t need your help!”

“Fine.” He stood back up. “Just be careful okay? I’m surprised that no one fell in the pool and I don’t want you to be the person who does it.” He turned around to head back to where he was originally sitting with Chris, beside the giant heat lamp that sat on the patio.

“Oooo, I don't want you to be the person who falls in the pool…” You rolled your eyes at Alex as you mimicked what Leon said. “I won’t fall in.” You chuckled to yourself as you began to take your jacket off. “I’ll willingly go in!” You tossed your jacket over to your shoes and you pushed yourself off the ledge and straight into the freezing cold water. Alex looked at you surprised, then jumped in after you. You could see Chris trying to hide his laugh while Leon looked at you shocked. This wasn't what he expected to happen. He didn't exactly have a plan for his next step, so he just decided to let it happen. So now you and Alex were acting like little kids playing in this big pool. After a while however you were getting bored, deciding to get out of the cold water and drinking another glass of whiskey that stood on one of the tables, just waiting for you guys. You sat down on the garden chair, your new suit completely wet, leaving you freezing cold. Leon already went inside to get you two some towels to get at least kind of dry.

You tried to hide your shivering but after a few minutes Leon noticed it anyway. "You know, I told you it wasn't the best idea to get into that pool, right?" He gave you a smirk, showing that he knew exactly that he was right. You just shook your head, letting some water fly through the air and wetting Chris who was sitting next to you. Leon let out a sigh, standing up from his chair. "Follow me. I'll get you some dry clothes." You let out a groan, feeling like a child the way Leon treated you the last few minutes. Nevertheless you stood up from the place you were sitting, slowly following Leon. You suddenly felt the alcohol you drank in your body making you walk unsteadily. Leon seemed to notice and even though he wasn't exactly sober either he helped you walk. Together you went inside the house and into his bedroom. You tried not to touch anything fearing you would make it dirty, but as soon as you went into his bedroom you couldn't keep your balance anymore. You lay down on his bed, muttering a quiet 'sorry'. Leon didn't seem to care and just went into his closet and grabbed out a single black t-shirt. It was heavily oversized but you still accepted it. It was a combination of you being soaking wet and all of the drinks you’ve had throughout the night but you instantly began to unbutton your shirt and you tossed it to the side of the room, the wet fabric beginning to create a puddle on the carpet. You slid the shirt over your head and then took off your trousers, throwing them onto the pile. “You could have just given that to me. I could have put it down the laundry chute…” He raised his eyebrows as he picked up the wet clothes and threw them into the laundry bin. “C’mon.” He placed his hand on your lower back as he walked you out of the room and back downstairs.

“You’re mad aren’t you?” You looked up at him, the embarrassment from you jumping into the pool only just kicking in.

“Why would I be mad, Buttercup?”

“You told me to come and sit with you and Chris, but noooo I wanted to be stupid and be annoying.” You rolled your eyes at yourself, disappointed that you might have ruined the night.

He let out a small chuckle. "The most important thing is that you have fun, you hear me?" He stopped walking and looked you deep in the eyes. "That's all that matters to me." You instantly got red, unable to move or answer anything to what he just said. “I’m happy if you’re happy.” He placed his hand on the side of your face and stroked your cheek.

As you came back to where Chris and Alex were waiting, you noticed Angel and Daisy had joined them as well. They were talking a bit, well mostly Chris and Daisy anyway. Alex seemed too tired and drunk to even add anything to their conversation. When you were sitting down again Chris just got up to leave. "It was really nice getting to know you. But Daisy and I will go back to our hotel now, we have something to do tomorrow. Maybe we can have an evening like this someday again." You gave Chris and Daisy a goodbye-hug and they went to leave. Angel accompanied them to their Taxi they must have called when you were changing your clothes upstairs. After that she went inside, already cleaning up some parts of the house. Alex decided to also go inside, not helping Angel but rather to get some sleep. That was probably the only good idea they had in that state. You sat down on the garden bench taking another sip of your drink. Leon placed himself next to you, also drinking another glass of whiskey.

FEMALE VERSION (starting now)

MALE VERSION

It was just the two of you now. “Thanks for the party, Leon.” You looked up and smiled at him and he looked down and did the same. You weren't sure if it was the alcohol or maybe the hypothermia sitting in but you felt so hot looking at his face so closely. “I’ll be sure to remember it.”

“Are you sure you’re not too drunk to remember?” The smell of whiskey from his breath filled your nostrils and sent a warm feeling down your spine. Even though your soaking wet hair was keeping you cold, you felt so warm next to Leon. You simply let out a small chuckle at his little joke.

Leon held his arm around your waist, pulling you more onto his lap and allowing for you to lean on his chest. Your hair drenched his shirt, his fancy branded dress shirt. Once you realised what you had done you pulled away from him and apologised. “Oh god. I’m sorry, Leon.” You pulled the towel off of your shoulders and began to dab it on his chest, only making it worse. All you were doing was spreading it and making his shirt even more see-through, you would have been lying if you said you didn’t like what you saw.

“It’s fine.” He chuckled at you. “I’ve been wanting to take this shirt off all evening, it’s starting to irritate me.” He slightly leant forward so that he was no longer leaning on the back of the chair but also making sure that you stayed on his lap. With one hand he undid the buttons on his shirt while the other was placed on your hip, making sure that you didn’t fall. You watched him closely as he undid his buttons, even helping him with the very few that he struggled with. The only time he let you go was to allow for him to slide the sleeve off of his arm, but he instantly put his hand back, with slightly more grip than before, making your ass go slightly numb. Yet again, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t like it.

“Can I ask for one last birthday present?” You were shocked with yourself when you said that. The words came tumbling out of your mouth without any thought.

Leon placed his drink on the armrest of the chair and then placed his hand on your thigh. “And what is that, Buttercup?” He asked.

“I-” You swallowed hard, not being able to stop what you were about to say, it was like you were possessed. “I want you to fuck me.”

“Huh?” He answered. You knew he heard you, he just wanted to be a complete asshole. “I’m getting old, my hearing isn’t quite what it used to be.

“I said. I want you to fuck me, Leon.” You repeated yourself.

“Oh really?” He raised his eyebrows at you as he smirked. “Where’s your manners, Buttercup? I mean you’re going to have to ask a bit more politely than that.”

You were a bit taken back by Leon’s response, you were half expecting to be thrown onto his driveway and being told to never come back. But you were excited that you got a different reaction. “Please Leon. I want- I need you to fuck me.” You stuttered as you talked due to him sliding his hand up your thigh, playing with the fabric of your short mini dress. “I’ve been wanting you ever since you sent me that photo of you while you were away.”

“Did you touch yourself to that photo?” He asked you, correctly thinking that you had. You simply nodded at him, unable to get any words out as his hand was completely under your oversized shirt, fiddling with your skimpy underwear. “And you didn’t even think to ask for any more photos?”

“I didn’t want to overstep.” You admitted, shyly looking down.

He whistled at you as he didnt want to move either of his hands. “You could never overstep, Buttercup.” He hooked his finger around the side of your underwear and pulled it down your legs. “If you want anything from me, you can always ask.” He gave you a wink as he twirled your underwear around his finger, followed by him then throwing it onto the table in front of you. “What can I say?” He let go of your hips and placed his hand on the back of your head, slowly pushing you towards his face. As he was doing so his other hand felt like magic to you, his large fingers slowly caressed you and massaged your inner thigh. “I'm a giver.” He winked as he kissed you heavily. The both of you letting out the stress that neither of you knew you had, both of your shoulders untensing and collapsing. Your entire body had melted around him, you were like a puppet being played by his strings.

“Go on.” You heavily whispered to him.

He chuckled as he continued to kiss you, his stubble tickling your face. As you were preoccupied with his face, his fingers slowly but surely inserted their way into you, gracefully pumping in and out of you. “Are you alright?” He asked after he noticed your face was a little uncomfortable.

“Yes, yes.” Your breathing was heavy and you did feel uncomfortable, not because of Leon, but because you were anxious. “I- I’m just nervous.”

“What’s there to be nervous about?” He asked as he pulled a strand of hair out of your face.

“I’ve never done this before.” You admitted to him, but he didn’t seem phased, if anything he was excited.

“And?” He stroked the side of your face. “That doesn’t mean anything.”

You felt relieved at his response, and you began to relax, letting Leon do his thing. As he slowly moved his fingers in and out of your body his thumb slowly ran circles on your clit, sure you had done this by yourself when your roommate wasn’t home but Leon was making you feel things you had never felt before. It felt different with another person doing this to you, you were used to knowing exactly what was about to happen as you were the one in control, but now? Leon has you by the strings.

Leon kept the slow pace, not speeding up and not slowing down. He wanted for you to orgasm but he didn’t want you to do it too fast. As your breathing became heavier, so did Leon’s, you could feel his cock aching under your leg. If his pants weren't such high quality you wouldn't be surprised if he would have ripped them right then and there. You leant on Leon’s shoulder as your stomach began to tie into knots, your head was buried into his neck and you quivered on him as you began to orgasm, cum absolutely drenching both his finger and his leg. Although you were a little embarrassed at the mess you had made, Leon assured you that it wasn’t a worry. He slowly pulled his fingers out of you to make sure that he wouldn't hurt you at all. “Are you okay, Buttercup?” Just that nickname alone made you want to orgasm all over again. You simply nodded, and once you opened your eyes you saw him pull his fingers out of his own mouth, then putting them back under your shirt and drenched his fingers yet again but this time he put them in your mouth. You tasted your own cum and you weren't sure what it tasted like, you just wanted to lick his fingers not your own cum.

He eventually pulled his fingers out of your mouth and smirked at you. “Do I get to give you a handjob now? Is that how it works?” You asked him, earning a small smile and a laugh.

“No.” He simply replied as he scooped his arm under your legs and the other one on your back. “It’s your party, and I'll make you cry if I want to.” He placed you down onto the seat where he was just sitting and he knelt down on the floor.

“Wha-?” He interrupted you by leaning forward and kissing you, as he did so he spread both of your legs open using your knees. “Oh!” You chuckled as he went back down to his knees, giving you a smirk as he went down. Leon kissed his way up your thighs, sucking and biting every inch of you while he made his way towards your clit. You couldn’t help but fidget as he tickled you from his light stubble, causing him to laugh and him tickling you even more. Eventually you calmed yourself down as the only thing you could focus on was Leon’s tongue and his large nose. You looked down at him and the only thing you could see was the top of his head, his hair slightly moving back and forward. As Leon worked his magic you didn’t know what to do with your hands, you kept one on the arm of the chair, gripping it around the glass that Leon had placed there earlier, your other hand moved down your own body and you tangled it in Leon’s hair, grabbing onto it hard.

“Be careful.” He pulled away and breathed heavily. “You’re going to pull all of my hair out.”

You were taken back by his heavy breathing. “Can you even breathe down there?” You asked, genuinely concerned for him.

He chuckled and brushed his nose with his finger. “I’m fine. If I can’t breathe I’ll just pull away.” You nodded at him and he gave you a small smile before going back down, you made sure to loosen your grip a little on his hair, you sufficed to just slowly running your fingers through his locks.

You tilted your head back, banging it on the chair but you ignored it. Your body was too focused on trying not to suffocate Leon as he made you feel special. You shuddered, and flinched forward, holding both of your hands in Leon’s hair. He chuckled at your reaction and the small vibrations that came from his mouth were what sent you over the edge, your body continued to shake, wave after wave as you came on his face. You felt his tongue licking up all of it.

He pulled away and sat back, leaning against the coffee table. “How was that?” He asked. He looked at the watch on his wrist and then to his left at the sky. “How about we continue this in the bedroom?” He suggested as he stood up and held out his hand for you. “Angel wakes up at the same time everyday and I’m sure you don’t want her interrupting us.”

You couldn’t help but smile as you accepted his hand, standing up on your own two feet felt a little disorienting, from the combination of how much you had drank throughout the night and what Leon just did to you, but he made sure that you could walk. He led you up to his bedroom again, making this a night to remember.

BACK TO THE MAIN STORY

The next morning you were already sitting downstairs in the kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee. Your hangover made your head pound with every move and you thought you were just gonna end up vomiting on the kitchen floor. Leon was still in a deep sleep when you got up that morning so you didn’t want to disturb him by telling him your issues.

You were sitting there, wondering what's gonna happen next. You let the past night play through your head a few more times, wondering if it was a one time thing or meant something more. You let out a deep sigh, instantly regretting it and massaging your forehead.

You didn't notice Angel coming into the kitchen, asking if you were alright. You told her about your headache and severe nausea and she reached into a tall cabinet, pulling out a pill bottle. “Here.” She passed two of the pills and a bottle of water. “This should help, but be careful because it’s going to make you kind of tired.” You thanked her and swallowed the pills without question, followed by downing the entire bottle of water.

You sat beside the window with a large mug of coffee that you made for yourself, looking at the heavy rain that pelted against the window, just thinking about the possible outcomes now. It wasn't like you were regretting the past night, you just never had an experience like that.

Just after hearing a deep cough from behind you, you were taken back to reality. "Angel told me you were feeling sick, is everything alright?" You turned around, seeing Leon stand in the door frame. You took a deep breath, trying to find the right words.

"Yea.. it's just, well.. I don't really know actually." You took another sip from your coffee and felt Leon taking a seat next to you.

"Is it because of what happened last night?" He looked at you worried, scared that he might have taken it too far back then. You tried explaining it to him, failing miserably. “Are you embarrassed to be with an old man like me?” Leon put himself down. You shook your head, too hard making you feel sick again but you tried to ignore it.

"That's not it.. I'm just.. I don't want this to be just another one night stand to you. I don't know what I want but-"

“I won’t abandon you, if that is what you’re scared of.” Leon looked at you seriously and took your hand in his. You weren't really sure if there was still some alcohol inside your body controlling your actions, but you brought your head closer to his. You weren't really sure what it was between you and Leon, but you knew you were way more than just friends.

You felt Leon's hand on your cheek, also getting closer to you now. You closed your eyes waiting for him to take the next step. And before you realized it, you felt his soft lips resting on yours sending butterflies through your entire body. You smiled into the kiss, leaning closer to him.

“This is just like the movies huh?” He chuckled.

----

Taglist: @trinswhimsys @dixanadu

[serene-victory-77]

Why The Crows Being Teenagers Is Actually Perfectly Realistic

There’s a TL;DR are the end because wow I like to rant.

I lightly discuss the general situations they’re all in to explore how they are frighteningly mature and competent, but it’s not particularly depressing or descriptive, it’s definitely lighter than the books

I thought about this post with a joke first: “People who think that Six of Crows is unrealistic because they’re so young clearly have not spent much time with traumatized honors students.”

It’s a bit of an exaggeration, but the point stands.

But I decided that, hm, actually, I could make a point about this. I totally agree with the aging up of the characters in the Shadow and Bone show, but when people straight up say that the books are wrong or unrealistic for having a young crew, I get annoyed, and here’s why (other than me reading the books for the first time when I was 13 and thinking ‘Huh okay, I see it’ and now being lowkey offended when people say they ignore it for being unrealistic):

On Inej

- At first I thought Inej’s wisdom and general demeanor was one of the most unrealistic things in the book

- When I thought about it longer, I was like “Actually, she’s 16, right? I’ve sent some of the most lyrical philosophy trying to help my friends while in high school. My friends have done the same. It’s valid.”

- Frankly, teenagers love hard-hitting philosophical truths. They love repeating what they’ve read or heard in movies and in books and from family stories. They love sharing little bits of wisdom they have come up with

- Inej’s ability to hear and understand philosophy and wisdom that she was surrounded by for 14 straight years and then sit on it and elaborate it for her friends to understand, or even just to piss them off in Kaz’s case? 

- Teenagers have that. They do it. So, Inej’s Wisdom passes, to me. It’s valid. 

As for her being calm

- You know how everyone jokes that Kaz seems calm on the outside but when you get to his POV he’s like “What the fuck” at the Van Eck house or just straight up “Huh, is this revenge for making tree jokes” at the Djel River thingy in the Ice Court?

- Inej is like that, too. And she gets angry, and she gets confused, or exhausted.

- AKA every quiet kid ever. Like, are you kidding? Have you ever been in a situation in which it’s literally chaos all around you, people are screaming and things are being destroyed (think middle school classroom with bitchy long term substitute and even worse students), and you’re just, calm? You pick up your things, you do what you need to do?

- That’s Inej. Like, what else is she gonna do? She’s smart enough to know that panicking won’t help anyone, and so she just rides it out. Internally she might be like “Why is this happening” but frankly, her being quiet and controlled in most situations is probably a coping mechanism and I respect that

- Pretty sure this is also based on the fact that the Suli have no land for their own and constantly have to keep moving. It might align with generational trauma, I’m sure someone could explain it better than me, but being able to keep your cool while constantly having to change and adapt to new situations, in, say, a country with hellfire politics and no land to call your own? Seems like a hereditary trait that could be useful in Ketterdam, although it’s sad.

On Inej’s abilities

- Simone Biles started training when she was 6 and went to the World Artistic Gymnastics Championships when she was 16, where she qualified in all the events. 

- There are videos of people walking over tightropes as young as three years old. We know Inej didn’t start that young, but not only was she naturally talented at it, but she spent a lot of time practicing. I think it’s valid. Plus, some of her family members do some pretty crazy things in her flashbacks, because that’s the whole point of what they do. 

- Youngest person to beat American Ninja Warrior was 16 year old Vance Walker

- Inej has a variety of of tools that help her wall climb, and while it’s true that she started young and got good really fast, she already had a history of physical work that would help her, and from what we can gleam from the book, a surprising amount of free time in which she was actively encouraged to learn everything she could. 

So that’s Inej! I think her skills are perfectly possible for someone with her history and situation. It’s true that she’s naturally skilled, but that’s not actually all that unusual. And her demeanor and wisdom do fit in with what a lot of teenagers are like and the circumstances she was brought up in

Onto Kaz!

- One thing I hear about is that Kaz is too smart for not having gone to school and also too young to know all that he does

- Do you all KNOW how many self-taught people there have been in this world? The word for people who are self-taught is autodidacts, and honestly a huge amount of famous people apply. Like many, many other people in history (there’s a whole list of them in Wikipedia), he had an vested interest in a field and he learned all he could. Sure, those fields were magic tricks and math, but still.

- Suddenly I have a lot of thoughts

- Okay, think, hyperfixations. That’s essentially what Kaz’s thing with magic tricks was, right? Have any of you ever spent time with an eight year old that clearly really, really loves dinosaurs? Those kids can spout names and facts and identify them by their skeletons and frankly know more than I ever will. Kaz’s was magic tricks. All kids are special.

- Kaz continued working on magic tricks and practicing them for years, so, I think that gets a pass. 

- As for the math! Look, a Fact Of Life is that some kids are just Like That, whether it be possibly from neurodivergence or other factors:

- Flo and Kay Lyman are twins with Autism who basically have the calendar of EVER memorized. Kaz memorizing card decks is sensible, and these ladies don’t need to look up anything to figure it out, so Kaz doing sums inside his head seems plausible. His “photographic memory’ isn’t impossible, although the term itself might be incorrect.

- Katherine Johnson who worked at NASA (yes, the lady from Hidden Figures), was so good at math that she was in high school by age 10 and went to college at age 15. It’s true that she had some teaching, but 1. There’s no evidence Kaz had absolutely no schooling, even if it was just at home with books and 2. Kaz was 9 when he came to Ketterdam, and after Jordie died, when he wasn’t surviving, he was learning. 

- Human calculator is a term that is applied to children a lot and there’s definitely plenty of videos showing how smart these kids are and them doing mental math easily, which he does in the books

- He had a LOT of pressure on him to figure out all he could, and if he wanted to move forward, he was going to have to learn a lot. He spent hours practicing magic tricks, for all we know he spent hours practicing math too. We know Jordie was a bit of a bookworm too, so Kaz from a young age probably already had a reason to learn. Personally, a lot of my love for books was inspired by my older sibling when I was younger

- Young people are adaptable. Kaz is incredibly adaptable. The term prodigy exists because of people like him through history. 

- As for him being rational, there’s no other way to survive. Some of the greatest soldiers in history have been very, very young, and very, very smart. It’s true tacticians are generally considered to be older, but that doesn’t mean there haven’t been very young ones. 

- A lot of the generals I found were like, 19 years old, but Kaz is 1. not a general and 2. in a place where young people take up the mantle really, really quickly, and frankly it’s been like that for a long time. I still think this passes. This isn’t relevant but William the Conqueror was apparently called “The Bastard”?

- Frankly, underground communities of thieves probably don’t go around publishing their escapades so to me it makes sense that I can’t just look up “famous young thieves” and get anything that makes sense, but I did try

- Y’all I tried to do research on youngest escape artists since I think Kaz qualifies and I found myself in what I think is a magicians forum? It’s from 2002-ish and I feel like I’ve just found a relic. I can’t definitely prove they’re all saying the truth, but some of the people there talk about 10-11 year olds at magic camps, so, it’s not impossible for this to be a skill Kaz learned really young, particularly when he made a habit of following around magicians

- I think he passes the realism check overall

For the other Crows:

- Nina being so proficiently multilingual makes sense to me, because she’s been in the Little Palace almost her entire life with all the best teachers they could afford at her disposal. Some people just click with languages. One such would be Timothy Doner, who spoke 23 languages at 16. 

- Nina is a child soldier. She of course can handle the battlefield, although I imagine there’s a degree of trauma that she has to deal with (although it’s true that most of her work was always meant to angle her towards being a spy).

- Jesper was taught to shoot from a young age by Aditi, who was likely incredibly proficient. Plus, there’s mentions of him and his father being on some sort of frontier at one point in the books, so, it’s likely that Jesper got his fair share of ‘being a child soldier” since he would’ve been 15 or younger. Plus, with being a Fabrikator, he gets a leg up

- Jesper’s smart y’all, he just also likes to have fun

- I am a little terrified by the fact that I looked up ‘youngest sharpshooter’ and found out about a 9 year old girl (Addysson “Addy” Soltau) who can indeed shoot guns, but uh, it does prove my point

- Matthias... I haven’t heard anyone really argue about Matthias. He’s the oldest at 18 and again, he’s essentially a religious child soldier. Of course he would be built af and know how to handle himself in a fight, and in a flashback about meeting Trassel, we’re told that he was actually distanced from the other boys and was the biggest and strongest/smartest of the group. Perhaps not compared to Kaz, but still

- We know how Wylan ended up how he is, so I don’t think i have to defend how he’s both a musical prodigy, good at math, and good at chemistry. Plenty of kids who can’t do one thing will immediately gravitate to a different field (think AP math students who can’t write essays, or those kids who could analyse a book and it’s metaphors in class but didn’t understand geometry).

- Granted he took it far but it’s kinda implied that  his father ignored him eventually and what else was Wylan going to do

- I don’t really know how he did chemistry while not being able to read the symbols and stuff, but that’s likely because I’ve never had to learn the way he did and also I really suck at Chemistry, but I refuse to believe that it invalidates his capabilities

Final Thoughts:

- They’re Traumatized Honors Students

- People might say that “it’s unrealistic that all the smart ones somehow ended up together” but again they’re traumatized honors students and those gravitate to each other

- Of course the smart ones ended up together, they’re the ones in those crazy situations precisely because they are prodigies. Nina wouldn’t have met Matthias if she wasn’t skilled and a spy, Kaz wouldn’t have known Inej if she hadn’t been skilled at silence (I can’t explain that one but uh ninjas did/do exist and it IS still a fantasy world). Kaz would have never been a leader of the Dregs in a position to find Jesper if he hadn’t been so determined to rise to the top, and Jesper wouldn’t have been in Ketterdam if his father hadn’t thought that Jesper was smart enough to get that chance.

- You know how those fringe revolutionary artists for new eras end up knowing all knowing each other and even hanging out? That’s them.

- I have decided there is a strong basis for Autistic Kaz, someone who is more studied than me should feel free to explore this.

- I read this book a few years ago, A Long Way Gone by Ishmael Beah. It’s about this guy’s experiences as a boy soldier and it’s a painful read so I’m not sure I recommend it as a casual read, but he talked about these young kids being able to actually make competent military strategies and handle warfare. It’s an extreme example of what I’m trying to explain when it comes to them being able to handle the brutality of their situation, but it’s true, essentially

- They are definitely serious, but if you think they’re not teenagers I just, disagree so much. They have moments of lighthearted banter, they make light of their situation, they try to support each other Nina covers it so well in her farewell at the end of Crooked Kingdom: The little rescues of laughing at each others jokes or eating together and just supporting each other, is not only a very human thing, but a very teenager thing. 

- Scary experiences that shape us happen all the time, and although for most it’s not the things that the Crows experience, picking each other up is a big part of why they do read as teenagers to me. I’ve seen kids be able to seriously converse about things like being questioned by the police, or being left to their own devices for days at a time, or the general impending doom they all feel, and it’s dark, but they’re also going to joke about silly puns 20 minutes later. 

- Teenagers aren’t exempt from terrifying maturity and competence

- Finally: Despite all I said, it’s a fantasy story and doesn’t have to be realistic

In the end, everyone can believe what they want to believe, but this is my case for my opinion.

TL;DR The Crows are all prodigies and a lot of their achievements and capabilities are based in reality and there are real people who actually achieved things like what they’ve done. Messed up prodigies gravitate to messed up prodigies, hence how they all end up together. When it comes to their mental state, most of them have been brought up their entire lives in situations that required for them to problem solve and keep their cool even when things are going to hell.

[collecting-stories]

Cardigan - Rafe Cameron

Request: heyy for the ts anthology, can u do one for cardigan with rafe? love ur writing🤍 

TS Anthology Series | Outer Banks Masterlist

_ . ◦ ⭐︎:*.☾.*:⭐︎◦∙._

The summer you turned thirteen was the same summer your dad showed up again. Driving the same lemon of a car that he’d pulled out of the driveway in when you were six, he looked like he hadn’t aged. Or maybe you just didn’t remember him all that well because his face felt the same but you were different. When you missed your best friend’s birthday, a trip to the gymnastics gym on the mainland and a towering cake with fondant replicas of all her favorite things, she was rightly pissed.  

Thirteen felt monumental, like the movie the two of you had snuck onto your mom’s Verizon bill, and you had both made a pact that you would be there for each other no matter what. That promise included birthdays and, more seriously, dads who showed up after seven years of radio silence because they didn’t want to “miss anything else”. But you didn’t mention your dad because hers was so great and you felt a little like you were floating on an island and no one could understand you enough to reach it. But then you missed her birthday and she swore not to speak to you and that felt more crushing than the dad thing until her brother stepped in. Always the one playing referee in when you fought, Rafe was a few years older and, in your mind, a lot smarter.  

It felt pretty important that an older boy would make the time to talk to you, especially when he had to know that his sister was avoiding you at all costs. He’d just gotten his permit and, like any good brother, showed up in the car he wasn’t supposed to drive with a minor in the passenger seat, to take you around the island for the afternoon.  

“My mom said she thinks we’re gonna move.” You mentioned, less casually than you would’ve hoped. The windows in the truck were rolled down and you had your legs up, feet placed precariously on the window ledge. There was a particularly nasty bruise on your knee from falling off your skateboard three days ago and a few short hairs you’d missed shaving. You were relatively new to both shaving and skateboarding so there were bound to be mistakes, you just wished they were less visible.  

“Off the island?” Rafe asked, concern etched into his tone. You assumed the concern was for his sister, what would Sarah do if you moved? Who would put up with all her antics?

You shook your head, “to the cut.”

“Why?”

“She can’t afford the house on her own anymore and my dad has been lousy with child support.” You repeated back all the things she had said to you. Why she didn’t take him to court like the other kid in your grade with divorced parents was beyond you. Rose told her that it was the only way to ensure he paid what he was supposed to but she hadn’t been able to bring herself to hold him accountable.  

Can’t believe you’re gonna be a pogue.” He said it like it meant something worse than you moving to the mainland.

“It’s not forever. My grandma’s house is there, we’re gonna stay with her until we can get back up on our feet.” You shrugged, “at least my dad’ll stay away then.”

But you dad wasn’t the only one who kept their distance. It felt like the distinction over your mother’s life choices held a greater impact on your friends than they had let on. A year into pogue life and Rafe seemed to disappear almost completely. It had always been an odd kind of friendship in the first place but you’d thought that it could’ve withstood a change in address.  

Sarah kept in touch, unbothered by labels or mailing addresses. She’d been to your grandma’s a hundred times before you moved and she continued to go there to see you after. The two of you played in the backyard, doing tricks on the trampoline until gossiping about kids at school became more important than cartwheels. You’d lay there whispering as if someone might overhear, telling each other stories from the week that you were separated. Rafe always came to pick her up, staying in the car and honking the horn for her but never coming over to see you.  

It felt a little lonely even though you technically retained most of your friends.  

-

In tenth grade you got the role of Eponine in the teen camp production of Les Miserables that the local theatre was putting on. You were technically sharing the role with another girl your age but you couldn’t help being excited nonetheless. The boy playing Marius was in two of your classes, a senior who had lofty city dreams and a nice smile. He flirted almost constantly with you, brushing your hair back, telling you how pretty you were, inviting you out after practice. You told Sarah you were “pretty sure” you were on your way to having your first real boyfriend.  

But maybe the ominous casting of Eponine over your life should’ve been hint enough that things weren’t destined to work out that way. The boy who played Marius had an actual girlfriend, home from vacationing with her family in time to watch her boyfriend on stage, and you were supposed to accept that he was just “connecting to the character” when he was with you. Either way, your On My Own struck a different chord in you and after the show was over you didn’t join the other cast members in the lobby to greet people.  

“So when you get to New York...do I get to leak all those videos of you and Sarah doing your Genie in a Bottle routine?” Rafe asked, pulling a chair next to you at the makeup table. Yours was halfway off but you’d stopped scrubbing at your face to stare at yourself in the mirror. Self-pity was a powerful procrastinator.

“You’re supposed to be in the lobby.” You pointed out, ignoring his comment, “I look like a ghost raccoon that just climbed out of a dumpster.  

“Now there’s an analogy.” He laughed and picked up the cotton pads you had sitting on the counter, soaking one in micellar water and turning your head to face him.  

You bit your bottom lip as you tried to keep your composure. It’d been a while since you and Rafe had been alone and last time he was just your best friend’s cute older brother. Too old for you and way out of your league but you were fifteen now and seventeen didn’t feel so far away.  

But Sarah was your best friend and she would be mortified if she found out that you had even entertained the idea of her brother, let alone had serious thoughts about it.  

“I’m sorry,” you said as he swiped the cotton pad over your cheek.

“What for?”  

“I know we’re all supposed to go out tonight for dinner but I kinda just wanna go home.” You replied.  

“Sarah might’ve let it slip about-”

You groaned, “don’t even say his name.” You weren’t sure if it was embarrassment at having let yourself totally believe he liked you but hearing Rafe bring it up made you feel even worse.

“Hey, you’re so much better than that loser,” He insisted, “I’ll beat the crap outta him though, just say the word.”

-

It was that same year, just as school was ending, that you turned sixteen. A short stay in the cut at your grandma’s house had helped your mom get back on her feet. A new job, better than the one that let her go, afforded a moderately sized house back on Figure Eight and a birthday with all the friends that had left the two of you behind.  

Sixteen felt a little more important than thirteen had, especially because, for two whole weeks, time suspended and you were technically only a year younger than Rafe. You still hadn’t told Sarah that you liked her brother, though she did seem a little suspicious when the crush on your co-star dissipated almost overnight. The boys of the past had no hold over your growing infatuation with Rafe. Maybe it was foolish but you couldn’t help thinking that maybe it wasn’t.  

Especially not when he showed up at your house the same way he had when you were thirteen, though this time he had his actual license and not just a permit. He told you it was birthday drive around the island, that he was in charge of stalling you while Sarah set up a surprise party at your house.

“I don’t think you’re supposed to tell me that it’s a surprise.” You teased, sipping at the iced coffee that Rafe had brought you when he picked you up. You swished the ice around once before sipping again.  

“It’s a party either way.” Rafe replied, shrugging his shoulder.  

“So, we’re just driving around until she texts you?” You asked. Rafe turned into the Island Club, circling the parking lot once and then turning back around.  

“I’m yours until Sarah says otherwise.” He said, the words erupting butterflies in your stomach. You could practically feel yourself heat up thinking about what those words could mean if he wasn’t just your best friend’s brother.  

“Well...then do you wanna go to the beach?” You suggested, “Jaxon showed me this really cool spot on the south side that’s practically hidden.”

“Jaxon?” Rafe sounded judgmental when he said the other boy’s name, whether he meant to or not.  

“Yea, we’ve been on a couple dates. You know him, he took me to prom,” you supplied, thinking of the way Rafe had sulked on the staircase while you and Sarah had gotten your pictures taken on the front lawn of Tanney Hill. The last picture in the bunch, despite his sulkiness, was of you and Rafe. You’d asked and he had obliged, coming down onto the porch to take a picture with you before everyone left for the dance.  

It was your favorite picture, even more than the countless ones of you and Sarah or the few of you and Jaxon. He was just a place holder anyway, someone to take your mind off the thing you couldn’t have. Not that it was working, especially when you were driving around with Rafe at the moment.  

“I remember him.” Rafe replied, “so this special part of the beach?”

“It’s so pretty.” You confirmed, “Sarah and I went there a couple weeks ago but she only ever wants to sunbathe.”  

“Don’t say it like you’re surprised.” He said, pulling his car off to the side of the road when you told him to.  

You were out of the car first, letting the door fall shut behind you as you headed up the wooden ramp to the beach. The drop off at the top was a little steeper here than anywhere else, the beach mostly desolate. You stopped at the top of the walkway, turning back to wait for Rafe. He was standing at the bottom of the ramp staring up at you.  

“Are you coming up or what?” You called.  

“Yeah,” he nodded, walking up the path to you.  

“I know Sarah’s planning a big birthday for me, but I’d much rather have this...” you admitted, “just like, coming out to the beach with you...”  

“Oh yeah?” He asked, grinning down at you.  

“Don’t tell Sarah,” you joked, “she’ll be mad-”

“Why, cause I’m your favorite Cameron?”

Maybe it was being sixteen or maybe it was that you were feeling particularly bold, out here on the beach with just Rafe, no threat of prying eyes to interrupt you. Either way, you had been thinking about telling him for a while now and it felt like the time...even if getting rejected ran the risk of ruining your birthday.  

“I know I’m just Sarah’s best friend but...I really like you Rafe.” You said, “and I know it’s like a million to one that you like me back but I just felt like I would explode if I didn’t tell you.” You waited a beat for him to say something and when he didn’t you kept talking, “Sorry, I know this is so weird-”

“It’s not weird.” Rafe cut you off, “I’m just shocked that you seriously think I only see you as Sarah’s best friend.” His tone was teasing as he brushed a piece of hair behind your ear and cupped your cheek. “You’re so much more than that.”

-

It was Sarah who told you, days before your eighteenth birthday. She’d seen Rafe with someone else when her family took a weekend trip out to Chapel Hill to see a game. There was a girl there, hanging all over her brother. He swore she was just a friend, told Sarah not to tell you, but Sarah wasn’t dumb and she wouldn’t help her brother cover up an indiscretion. So she told you flat out that her brother was cheating on you.  

When Sarah first found out that you and Rafe were dating, she had been as mad as her thirteenth birthday. How could you go behind her back and date her brother? The anger dissipated slowly, over the course of the summer it became clear that were not going to leave her in the dust for Rafe. She wasn’t wholly supportive of the relationship but she was supportive of you and if Rafe was who you wanted to be with than she’d be happy for you.  

But if she had to choose, it would always be you over Rafe.  

“I didn’t want to tell you, I really thought about not saying anything but...you deserve to know.” It was the justification she used as your face fell, all the giddiness from planning your eighteenth birthday fading in the blink of an eye.  

“He cheated?” And it felt like a punch to the gut. “Are you sure?”

“He said she was just a friend but...I don’t hang on my friends like that.” Sarah remarked.  

You fiddled with the phone in your lap, Sarah’s comments turning over in your head. You could refute them, tell her that you’d just talked to him the night before and he told you how excited he was to see you, how much he loved you. He’d used the word love...that had to mean something right? You could call him, ask him straight away if he was actually cheating, but you suspected that he would only lie to you. And if he wasn’t cheating, if he did tell the truth, would you believe him? Sarah was your best friend and once she had planted the seeds of doubt in you, they seemed to flourish there.  

You didn’t say anything else about it to Sarah that night and when Rafe called to talk, like he always did, you pretended that everything was fine. But that could only last for so long. A week before your party, on the same special part of the beach that Rafe had first kissed you, things ended. Rafe had sworn to Sarah that the girl at school was just a friend but he couldn’t lie to you, and he didn’t try to either.  

“It was a mistake,” he insisted, as if it was the type of thing you could brush off.  

“But you still made it.” You replied.  

“I didn’t mean to.” Rafe didn’t have any good reasons for why he had cheated on, only that he had and that, since you now knew, he was apologetic. “I don’t even talk to that girl anymore. She meant nothing to me.”

“Obviously she meant more than we did.”  

Rafe had been it for you for a long time. He seemed so out of your league and you had thought a million times that you would’ve done anything for him. He was the ideal for everything that you wanted and for a while, when you had it, had him, it had felt like a dream. But now you were waking up to reality and it wasn’t a sunset on the beach.  

“I love you.” He said it like it was something you were neglecting to remember.  

“Not enough.”  

[actlikeyoudidntdoit]

ASSASSIN’S MODERN DAY PROFESSIONS

—————————————————

ALTAÏR

College Professor

-We all know that Altaïr has spent most of his life teaching, so what better job does he have than a college professor?

-He knows what he’s talking about, that much is certain, but sometimes he gets a little too lost in his lesson to realize that his students are scratching their heads. So it’s normal to have students staying after class, but they leave understanding every word of what he said.

-He’s not the fun teacher, but he’ll be able to teach you what you need and still remember it at the end of the day.

-He’s pretty lenient, and even with the obnoxious students who cause a scene, he calmly gets them to at least do their work.

-Other teachers always use him as a reference when it comes to the perfect teacher.

EZIO AUDITORE

-I can see Ezio being a public speaker since he’s not all that scared of crowds and spends a lot of time giving advice, so I think he’d really enjoy being able to help a crowd of people whose lives are falling apart

-Ezio would be the single anchor in a sea of storms because he always seems to have an answer for everything. He’s a man whose words are turned into inspirational quotes that people hang on their walls.

-When he says that things will be okay, no one doubts him since they know that he lost his father and his brothers very early on and that it took years for Ezio to accept the loss the way he had. If he could soldier through it, why couldn’t they?

-He doesn’t involve himself in politics, finding them to be a waste of time and breath despite how many people ask for his input on the political status of the country he’s staying in.

-He speaks to a lot of people in private, letting them speak their minds and giving his advice if they want it. He’s a therapist without a license, and you always feel hopeful about life leaving his office.

Connor

Construction or Sports

-This boy was designed for heavy work, and I’ve heard some good points in saying that not only would he be amazing at sports, but he’d also really enjoy it too.

-In my personal headcanon, I think he’d be a good construction worker as well. Not the high end kind that build skyscrapers or anything, but I can see him building simple houses for small communities, taking the lower jobs that can’t afford much help like the sweetheart he is. He definitely volunteers to make houses for the homeless.

-Since most of the homeless he helps don’t have much money, he makes sure to offer them baked goods because he’s definitely a baker.

Edward Kenway

-As a young man, he joins the navy

-Once he’s on his own, he buys his own boat and treats it like royalty.

-He’s not a pirate himself, but he does let less legal people on board for a price. At the time, it was just an easy cash pay since people paid good money when they were desperate.

-When he’s older and gets a grip on some of the people he’s helping (like the REALLY bad criminals) he quickly lets it go.

-Yet after seeing some of the more decent people and the places they were running from, I can see him being a sort of smuggler, but instead of smuggling drugs or weapons, he sells medicines, canned foods, and clothes to the regions where they’re scarce or hard to pay for.

-When he’s older and found a fortune over time, he starts up his own official charity, hiring various sailers to sail supplies to more places than he himself could alone.

SHAY CORMAC

-Okay, I have to say it. Shay would DEFINITELY be an FBI spy. Maybe I haven’t thought of it as heavily as I could, but he just strikes me as a man who could kill someone in plain sight and still not be seen.

-He already knows everything he can about infiltrating and getting vital information

-He knows exactly how to manipulate people to get what he wants.

-He’s like Macgyver but as an agent.

-He does things that make sleeping at night impossible, but he tells himself that every long night for him is another person somewhere else having a peaceful night, and peaceful nights means he’s doing his job. Right?

-Constantly questions his morals, but he can’t bring himself to stop, not knowing that he’d do if he stopped, because at least here he’s doing something. He’s contributing.

-That and maybe I might or might not want to see Shay in a suit 🤷‍♀️

AVELINE

-Actress. And a damn good one. She’s one of the kind of people who get paid millions each job and gives most of her cash on people who really need it. Not only that, she’s a fan favorite everywhere.

-She takes extra jobs in smaller businesses barely staying afloat, and public morality boosts has nothing to do with it. In fact, she keeps her fame life out of everything, choosing to see it just as another job.

-I can see her sharing similarities of Zendaya or Zoe Zaldana

ARNO DORIAN

-High school teacher or actor, I can’t decide.

-Because let’s be honest, this guys brain is more wrinkled than a raisin. He knows his stuff.

-He’s good at simplifying what he’s saying, and that happens to be a very useful trait when it comes to teaching.

-If he was a teacher, he’d be a damn good one, that’s for sure. No one will fail his class because he’s so good at explaining things, and he’d be the one who actually cares for his students.

-When it comes to acting... just admit that Arno’s a theater boy through and through. If you need proof, he’s the only one with a crazy amount of fancy robes and colors. FOR GODS SAKE HE OWNS A THEATER! So on modern day, I could totally see him as an actor as well.

-He’d be the Ewan Mcgregor of the modern day, because everyone recognizes him from SOMEWHERE because he’s really tested his acting ability on multiple various roles. Well read, charming, and level headed, he’d totally rock being an actor. He’s good friends with Aveline, and when they both have time in their busy schedules, they stop by for coffee and fill each other in on their life.

JACOB

-Boxing

-I saw the photoshops of Jacob in boxer life, and I have not been the same because oh my god that is amazing.

-but absolutely he’d be a boxer. He’s the shortest guy in the entire match, but he doesn’t need a stool to knock you on your ass before you can laugh about it.

-His opponents are lucky shattering bones is against the rules because he knows how to make someone wish their dad wore a condom.

-A lot of people think that his rounds must be rigged, and his sister had to physically hold him back every time Jacob threatened to give him a close up of how ‘rigged’ his fights were.

-Jacobs a powder keg, so it doesn’t take much to make him explode, and a lot of the less respectful people he has to fight picks particularly sore spots to do just that.

-He might be pissed, but his punch isn’t the only thing that stings. He knows exactly what words to use, and when they’ve gone too far, he doesn’t hold back.

-Might have a temper, but he has a good heart despite it all. He visits schools and completely turns his personality around with kids. He signs autographs, takes pictures, and makes sure that every one of them have a fun day because he knows that there’s some kids in this school that don’t have those kinds of days. He pays the school for field days each time, making sure they all get out. They bring out the scooters, parachutes, capture the flag, and ‘wrestling’ matches for the kids who want to face him. He loses every time. He never has a bigger smile on his face than when he has children fans walk up to him.

EVIE

-She is totally a lawyer and you can’t change my mind.

-Logic and Facts are her strongest weapons, and so far she has yet to lose a debate.

-Every other lawyer knows that seeing Evie walk into court is an instant death sentence, because like her brother, her words are sharp as a knife and her mind is even sharper.

-If they didn’t look identical, no one would believe that she would be related with Jacob the hot headed boxer, because she was level as water and was near impossible to make angry, but god help the poor sod that presses her.

-Her clients almost always get the best case scenario with Evie by their side by how good she is.

-Also like her brother, children are her weak spot, and her hard composure melts whenever she needs to speak to a child in the witness post, making sure that the child feel comfortable unlike the others that drill the kid with questions when they’re too skittish to answer. She takes her time and gets the kid feeling safe, and gently asks their side.

-Evie might not do it as a profession, but Evie has beaten Jacob in the boxing ring in the gym. She knows damn well how to handle herself, knowing she’d need it since she’d be fighting corrupt politicians or gang members who have too often tried attempts at her life. Every time she emerged unscathed, using the attempt at even more evidence against them and insuring a spot in jail. No one dared try attacking her again after that.

BAYEK

-I’m thinking police officer or motivational speaker for trauma.

-Either way, he’s a guardian who takes care of the people he’s in charge of. He knows words well, and having been down the dark path himself, he knows exactly what people experience and what they want to hear.

-Be the change you want to see in the world, and that’s exactly what he’s doing.

-He’d be a well respected officer, and he’s not afraid of telling off a comrade if someone is wrongfully accused. He’s not very popular in the police station, but as long as he’s doing his job, he’s satisfied.

-He’s saved several people over the course in his life, and his word is well honored since he’s on no ones side. He sees things as what they are and doesn’t twist events he disagreed with to his point of view. Even if it hurts him personally, he doesn’t lie.

-He’s divorced, but they’re still best friends with each other and visit when they can.

AYA (ran out of gifs. Sorry)

-She is hands down a self defense teacher for women

-She sells hidden self defense tools for less than ten dollars, always sure to keep constantly supply of them since many have confessed that they’ve saved them from dangerous situations.

-Like her former husband, she’s a protector and makes sure she provides her students with the best.

-She teaches children what to do if they ever get grabbed, and she’s had many parents in years thanking her when that information ended up saving their child’s life.

ALEXIOS

-Hands down he is a stunt double

- Preferably Arno’s since he relies more on flexibility than brute strength. Then there’s the fact that they look similar enough in features

-He does the moves that would probably be safer if they were just CGI, but he hates those computers with a passion, preferring to do the real thing instead of giving out something fake. He’s broken more bones than he can count, and the companies he works with always have a medic on standby when something goes wrong.

-They tried convincing him that they only needed him for a few spots, but after realizing that he wanted this (and him assuring them that he doesn’t bother with suing), they let him do his thing. The results are fruitful since the most nitpicky movie fans are absolutely thrilled when there’s a particular move done right.

-He teaches Arno a good few things about how to do action scenes, and they’re definitely good friends.

KASSANDRA

-Roller Derby

-She lives for throwing people and smacking them without being judged for it, so the Derby’s her safe spot.

-Everyone on the opposing team is terrified of her, always scared when they see her devilish smile, knowing that they’re about to get their asses handed to them. Like her brother, she’s an adrenaline junky, and when she’s not doing the derby, she’s going off into car races in a water trench. She’s surprisingly very good with cars too, knowing the inside and out of a car like the back of her hand.

-She loves it when men try to catcall her. It gives her a perfect opportunity to punch them in the face.

-She loves the races themselves because no one expects it. Sometimes she pretends to act like a beginner and absolutely slaughter them, giving them a nice wink before driving out with her cash.

-Only has a soft spot for the girl who visits her on weekends. She’s practically her older sister, and there will be hell to pay if her favorite kid gets hurt in any way.

EIVOR

-BACA(Bikers Against Child Abuse)

-The moment I saw this, I instantly thought about them.

-they would absolutely be a part of this

-Looking all badass in leather while turning into a softie for children? That’s Eivors entire character right there.

-Eivors not afraid to get physical with an abuser. They’d beat the abuser to a pulp and right after take the child out for ice cream.

-No one messes with Eivor, knowing that their lenience was stretched only for children. Anyone else tried to pressure her? Your teeth would be shattered and they’d wear the bits for a necklace.

-Children are much more brave around them because they’re tougher than their parent and on their side, so they’re not afraid to give them to the police

[licieoic]

“Pour One Out” - Digital Oil Painting

Inspired by Suptober, theme: Pour One Out. Bartender/Patron AU! This one was actually inspired by a number of themes from Suptober including “Family Business” and “Favorite,” as shown in the ficlet below the cut. (It’s PG, though Dean is having some more adult oriented thoughts, LOL.)

Please see the pinned post at the top of my Tumblr for my links if you'd like to help support me in saving for a safe place to live!

“Hey.”

Looking up, Dean saw his brother, Sam, sticking his head into the brewing room. It had to be nearly time for his shift, he already had his abundant hair pulled back.

“Your favorite’s here,” he said.

Dean straightened up so fast, he nearly dropped the pitcher of beer he’d been pouring so carefully. “Trench Coat?” At least, that was the name he used with Sam; he didn’t want his brother knowing what he called the quiet man in his head. He’d never quite had the courage to ask the man’s actual name and since Winchester Bros was cash only, he couldn’t sneak a look at a credit card either. He’d considered asking for his ID, as that was perfectly acceptable in a bar, but since he was clearly over legal drinking age it would just make Dean look like he was stupid or an ass.

“Usual spot,” Sam answered before popping back into the main area of the bar.

He got up close to the shiny brewing vat in front of him and tried to check his appearance, but the metal didn’t make for a good mirror and left him looking deformed. Damn… He hoped there was nothing to worry about, like food in his teeth or crustiness in the corners of his green eyes, and that his light brown hair was just the right amount of tousled, leaning more toward ‘I woke up like this’ and less like ‘I use a lot of product.’ Then he reached into the pocket of his apron for the breath mint he always kept there, on the chance that his favorite patron would stop by.

It was easy to remember the first time he’d ever seen him, he doubted he would ever forget. Five months after he and Sam had opened the bar, they’d had to strike a deal with the Devil (Dean’s private name for their wealthy investor, Crowley) in order to save it from going under. It had always been their dream to start up a family business and they’d each quit lucrative careers (Dean as a mechanic, Sam as a lawyer) to open Winchester Bros. It had taken every penny of their life savings to do it, they just couldn’t give up so soon.

Pride still smarting with the knowledge that they’d be under Crowley’s thumb for the foreseeable future, Dean hadn’t exactly been the friendliest bartender that night. After being short with a small bachelorette party, Sam told him to concentrate on the solo patrons at the bar who usually weren’t the chatty types and leave the groups to him. Dean hadn’t argued, they needed as much patronage as possible, he could ill afford to turn what could be repeat customers into people who never came back just because he was in a mood.

Down at the far end of the bar, he saw a man with dark, messy hair hunched over the bar. He wore a slightly dirty trench coat over a deep navy suit and had a five o’clock shadow darkening his jawline. All in all, a fairly standard-looking barfly, if he were judging a book by its cover. Dean leaned both hands on the bar and tried not to sound too brusque as he asked, “What can I get you?”

Then the man looked up… and Dean forgot everything. He was lost in the bluest eyes ever to blue, bluer than the tie hanging crooked from the man’s neck. Dean’s mouth might have gone slack, he wasn’t sure. They were like angel’s eyes, almost too pretty to be real.

“I don’t know,” said the man, immediately dubbed Angel Eyes. He seemed kind of down, but that wasn’t unusual for a lone bar patron. “Do you have a menu?”

“W-we do,” said Dean, pulling over the list printed on laminated cardstock once he remembered how to speak. The line at the top read ‘Winchester Brews,’ which he’d thought damn clever at the time, now he worried it was corny. “Ahem… Everything on offer is brewed in-house, plus I can make you just about anything you like.”

“Anything, huh?” He looked at the menu, but didn’t really seem to be reading it. “I don’t know,” he said again, “surprise me?”

Something was really bothering this man, Dean could tell, his bartender instincts were jangling like crazy. His bi-dar, however, was all over the place. He never had a problem flirting with the ladies who came in, but it was always hard to tell if he was clear to make a pass at a man. That kind of thing could get dangerous, depending on who it was and what kind of attitude they had.

“Surprise you,” Dean repeated, reaching below the bar for a tumbler which he filled with a few ice cubes. “Well, you look like a man of… discerning tastes.” He followed this with a wink to test the waters. To his delight, Angel Eyes smiled. And Dean’s heartbeat doubled. He turned around and took a surreptitious breath in an attempt to calm it down, but it didn’t work.

From the back shelf, he retrieved a bottle of whiskey with a simple handwritten label on the front that read ‘Winchester Special #5’ and turned back to face him. As he poured, Dean said, “This here is our monthly special.”

“What makes it special?”

“It changes every month,” said Dean. “Afterward, we add it to the list of brews. And if you can guess the flavor, the inspiration behind it… it’s on me.”

“Has anyone gotten it right yet?” It was the nineteenth, he’d assumed correctly that some people had already tried Dean’s challenge.

He shook his head. “Not quite.” Gesturing at the tumbler, he quirked a brow and asked, “Care to try?”

Angel Eyes picked up the glass and took a sip. He tilted his head, appearing thoughtful.

“So?” asked Dean when he didn’t get an immediate answer. “What’s it taste like to you?”

“Hmm. Molecules.”

Dean laughed outright and Angel Eyes grinned. “Well, you’re not wrong!” he exclaimed. “Molecules, heh, can’t say I’ve ever heard that one before, but is that your final answer?”

Swirling the ice in the glass, Angel Eyes took a longer pull, maintaining eye contact with Dean as he rolled the whiskey slowly over his tongue. Dean’s mouth went dry as he watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down when he swallowed. Unconsciously, he licked his lips and those bluer than blue eyes followed the movement.

Angel Eyes clicked his tongue. “Blueberry…” he said, slowly. “But there’s something else… It’s sweet and… creamy?”

“No hints,” said Dean, but mentally he was cheering the man on, wanting him to make the right guess, and he was so, so close.

He took one last sip from the glass, finishing it off. “It’s good. I like it. It reminds me of a blueberry sour cream pie. Final answer.”

Dean grinned broadly. “We have a winner!”

He returned the smile with one of his own and it seemed like both of them had forgotten their problems prior to their meeting each other. “Really?”

Nodding, Dean poured him another. “On me. Since you’re the first correct guess.”

He picked up the tumbler and saluted Dean with it. “Cheers.”

Dean nodded, a little disappointed that he didn’t have an excuse to keep their conversation going, and turned to go back to work.

“Oh, and—”

Heart in his throat, he looked back. Angel Eyes hesitated.

“Thank you,” he said, finally. “This… really helped.”

“Yeah?”

He made a vague gesture. “I don’t want to get into it, I know bartenders aren’t therapists,” he said. “Just some family issues.”

Dean’s heart sank. He had a family. Of course he did. “Well, you’re not the first guy to come here to escape his wife for a while,” he said, trying to sound nonchalant.

“Oh, I’m not married,” Angel Eyes said.

“Girlfriend?” came out of Dean’s mouth before he could stop himself.

He shook his head. “One of my brothers is constantly going through a rebellious phase. Our father isn’t happy about it.”

“Ohhhh, well, I can definitely understand annoying brothers,” said Dean, aiming his thumb at Sam who was down at the opposite end of the bar, and forcing himself to swallow down any follow-up questions. He’d already said he didn’t want to talk about it, Dean wanted to respect that. “You should bring your family around,” he said, smiling. “It’s easier to open up after a few, you know?”

Angel Eyes chuckled. “I’m not sure if that would be a good thing or a bad thing. Besides…” He thumbed the rim of his glass before glancing back up, hitting him with that blue gaze all over again. “I don’t know if I want them coming around here. Maybe I want to keep you all to myself.”

Any thoughts of pushing for more patrons to offset his and Sam’s massive debt had flown away. Dean could only nod like an idiot, he knew what the man meant, of course, but the unspoken implications in the statement were pinging around in his head like a super ball. He might have squeaked out an ‘okay’ or a ‘yeah’ as he headed back to work, he didn’t remember. He did remember almost tripping over his own feet and not looking back, knowing his face would be bright red. He pretended to not remember hearing another chuckle.

Since then, Angel Eyes came in at least once a week, always sat at the end of the bar, and always ordered the monthly special, even though he paid for each subsequent drink following his correct guess. He was never wrong about the flavor either, which amazed Dean, he even got the lemon meringue right. He’d been so sure that no one would get it – he’d heard lemon-vanilla, toasted marshmallow, all kinds of other things because who guesses ‘meringue’ for a whiskey anyway? Apparently, a man with gorgeous blue eyes in a slightly dirty trench coat. Three months in, he was the only person who’d figured out that Dean based all the specials on his favorite pies and it only made his guesses come that much quicker.

As he headed out to the front, he dropped off the pitcher of beer and grabbed #15 from the shelf. He almost couldn’t believe it had been ten months since his favorite patron had first come in. Tonight was the night, he resolved, he would ask for Angel Eyes’ actual name. Maybe in another ten months, he’d work up the courage to ask for his number. Dean internally rolled his eyes at himself. He was truly pathetic.

Angel Eyes perked up at the end of the bar the moment Dean emerged from the back, yellow light from a nearby neon sign on the wall reflecting off his dark hair, almost like a halo. They smiled at each other and Dean’s heart was immediately doing flips, seeing how obviously happy he was to see him. Could be the Crush Goggles, but still…

“Fancy seeing you here,” said Dean, filling the glass with ice and setting it down on the bar. “I was wondering when you’d be in to try the latest special.”

“I’m just hoping it isn’t Pumpkin Spice,” said Angel Eyes. Being that it was October, it was a fair comment. You couldn’t go ten feet without encountering something bearing that smell and/or flavor.

“I do like pumpkin pie,” said Dean, pouring the whiskey. “But I think it’s more of a November flavor.”

Dark brows lifted. “A hint? This is new. What did I do to deserve that?”

Dean laughed. “Maybe I’m in a good mood, that’s all.”

“Me too. It’s a good night.”

“Hopefully, about to be better,” said Dean, nodding at the glass.

“I don’t need to drink to have a good time,” he said, but picked up the tumbler all the same to have a sip.

“Your continued presence at my bar says otherwise,” said Dean.

Angel Eyes swallowed. “There are other reasons a person might come to a bar.”

“Such as?”

“Good ambience.” He took a longer sip and let his eyes wander over Dean before traveling back up as he swallowed. “I like the company.”

Dean hoped he wasn’t blushing but he couldn’t hold back a goofy smile. “You do get to meet all kinds of people in a place like this,” he said.

“Yes, though I was referring to one specific person.”

“Yeah?”

He finished the whiskey and set down the glass, meeting Dean’s eyes head-on. “Yes.”

Mouth dry, Dean cleared his throat. “So, uh…” He gestured at the tumbler. “Any guesses?”

“Maybe.” He trailed one finger around the rim of the glass. “If I pay for the drink, can I have something else as my prize? If I get it right, of course.”

“Uh.” He swallowed hard. “S-s-sure.” He could hardly manage the one word; he couldn’t even summon the brain power to ask what it was he wanted.

Smacking his tongue against the roof of his mouth, Angel Eyes considered his answer. “This is a good one,” he said. “Definitely not pumpkin, but it has sweetness… and a note of tart as well.”

“Are you a sommelier?” Dean asked suddenly. “That would sure as hell explain a lot.”

He laughed, the bright sound so incongruous with his gravelly voice, it had quickly become one of Dean’s favorite things about him. So much so, that he would go out of his way to come up with a corny joke or allow himself to be a little clumsy, just for the chance to hear that laugh.

“No,” he said, still smiling. “Disappointed?”

“No. I just can’t figure out how you’re never wrong.”

“I haven’t made my guess yet,” he pointed out.

“And?”

Deliberately, he reached into his glass and retrieved a small ice cube. Before Dean knew what was happening, Angel Eyes was popping it into his mouth and sucking on it while he thought about what answer to give.

Guh. He has to be doing this on purpose! Dean thought. How does he make everything he does so sexy?

Still keeping eye contact with Dean, he bit down hard. Crunch! If he kept this up, Dean would need to run to the bathroom and readjust his jeans. To try and diffuse some of the tension in the air, Dean attempted to make a joke like he usually would.

“You, uh, you know what they say about people who chew their ice, don’t you?” he asked, almost tripping on his own tongue.

“No,” he said, to Dean’s surprise. “What do they say?”

Well, this backfired spectacularly, thought Dean. “They, uh… that they’re, well, you know…” Those clear blue eyes wouldn’t give him an inch, Angel Eyes sat patiently waiting to hear the punchline of Dean’s naughty joke like they were talking about the weather. He had no choice but to quietly stutter, “That they’re… s-s-sexually frustrated.”

“Oh.”

Really? That’s all you have to say, ‘oh’? thought Dean, incredulously. While he watched, Angel Eyes fished out another ice cube and crunched down on it viciously, all while holding Dean’s gaze, as if to punctuate his statement. Heat creeping up into his cheeks, Dean took a steadying breath. Curse blushing, he thought. Curse the noun, curse the verb, curse the act!

“H-have I finally stumped you?” Dean asked when his tongue decided to work again.

“Caramel apple rhubarb,” he said, definitively. “Final answer.”

“Damn!” exclaimed Dean, pounding one fist on the bar. “You did it again!”

All he did was smile in response, the handsome bastard. As he reached into his coat pocket, he casually remarked, “You know, your freckles disappear when you blush.”

He blinked. “They do?”

“Then I get to notice them all over again when they come back.” Retrieving his wallet, he pulled out a ten-dollar bill and placed it on the bar between them. “It’s what I’ve been calling you in my head all this time. Freckles.”

“Well, that’s kind of rude, how would you like it if my brother and I were calling you Trench Coat behind your back?”

“I wouldn’t mind.”

“Okay, good, because that’s totally what we’ve been doing.”

They snickered together.

“Out of curiosity,” said Dean, “what were you calling Sammy?”

“Manbun.”

Dean snorted. “I’m absolutely going to call him that.”

“So, his name is Sam? You don’t wear nametags, so I’ve only ever known your last name.”

“Nametags are lame.”

“They are. What’s your name, then?”

“Is this what you wanted instead of a free drink?”

“No, this is something I should have asked ten months ago.”

Fair point. Dean held out his hand. “Dean,” he said.

His fingers were cold from the ice but his palm was warm and smooth. “Castiel.”

“Wow.” It wasn’t a name he’d ever heard before; surprise mixed with his pleasure over finally learning the name of his long-held crush. “Wasn’t expecting that.”

“What were you expecting?”

“Not sure. Probably something anti-climactic, like Steve.” He picked up the ten with his other hand. “I’ll get you some change.”

Castiel tightened his grip when Dean would have let go. “Keep it,” he said. “Consider it a tip.”

“Okay,” Dean said, slowly, tucking the bill into his apron pocket.

“Have you eaten dinner yet?” asked Castiel.

“No.”

He grinned and it put all of the smiles Dean had received before to shame. It held a hint of mischievousness as he said, “That’s what I want.”

“You-you want—what? D-dinner? W-with me?” Dean couldn’t quite believe his ears. He’d barely been able to hope for a first-name basis tonight, he couldn’t possibly be so lucky as to score a date. But then, considering they’d been dancing around each other for ten months, maybe Castiel thought if he didn’t make the first move, it would never happen.

Bringing up his other hand, Castiel sandwiched Dean’s between the two as he said, very deliberately, “I don’t believe I’ve guessed wrong.”

Dean could be pretty dense sometimes, but he knew unequivocally that Castiel wasn’t talking about the whiskey. “I’m off in half an hour,” he said, smiling like an idiot.

“I’ll be waiting… Freckles.”

Okay… so maybe blushing wasn’t such a bad thing.

[football-rambles]

Delicate - John Stones

I written this a couple of years ago, I just deleted and altered it. I just listened to the song yesterday and felt I needed to re-write it. I may re-write my attempt at my reputation series. But for now here we go!

Warnings: A pathetic attempt at smut

Special mention to @wheelergrealish​ for reading this before I posted this, you’re a star 

You laid in bed, staring at the ceiling. The room was in complete darkness and your thoughts were with a certain footballer. Who had you met just over a couple of weeks when you attended your best friend boyfriend football match. It was what you ‘needed’ after you broke up with your now ex. That was when you met him.

You had started dating, but it was very casual. You couldn’t even call it dating. You had been on one date, had sex, well you lost count on that. Both of you reeling from each other’s break ups. Both afraid to properly commit, or even label what you are.

It wasn’t something you both had really talked about, but you knew he would avoid that conversation on purpose. You knew it was because he hadn’t directly told you. He was a little careful because of how his last relationship had been so full on.

Elle, Ella? you couldn't remember.

Your phone that laid on your nightstand suddenly lit up, casting a dim light in the dark bedroom. Reaching for the phone, you squinted at the brightness as it hit your eyes to read the text.

Dive bar on the east side. Where you at?

You looked at the time and jumped up, jumping out of bed, realising that you had lost track of time in your thoughts yet again. He was at his best friend’s party and had asked you to meet him there for the night.

You hurried to your closet and put on the plain black dress you knew he liked. He didn’t tell you that of course, you we’re both shy when it came to complimenting each other. As you grabbed your purse and hurried out of the apartment, telling yourself you would do your make up in the Uber as you thought to yourself.

He's taking up too much of my headspace.

You stood outside the bar, it was old and around the corner from the river. It was so peaceful except for the music that was booming inside the bar. The wooden sign hanging over it, slightly rusty. But from the outside, you could see through the glass that it was a small, cosy place. You wondered what a footballer like Kyle chose somewhere like this. But you hesitated because though it looked like a place you would love to be, it was very crowded.

You avoided crowded places and had gotten use to the quiet. After your breakup with your ex, you couldn’t stand being around the crowds, judging. You hesitated outside the door for a moment before inhaling deeply as you walked into the bar.

You couldn’t see him anywhere, so you made your way straight to the bar, you wanted to avoid conversations with people. As you made your way over to the bar and sat on the stool and started to tap the bar waiting to be served. You looked around to see if you could see him, but nothing.

Dark jeans and your Nikes, look at you Oh damn, never seen that colour blue

You were served, which annoyed the bloke that had joined next to you, moaning about the service. You turned around to see that he was making his way over to you. You noted his outfit, black jeans, Nikes that fitted well. He had a light colour blue shirt that you couldn’t quite place it with the outfit, but you liked it on him.

“Let me buy this lady a drink.” The man slurred at the bartender that handed you a glass of wine.

“No thank you,” you muttered before the man laughed at you.

“Oh, come on.” The man slurred again, this time he started to lean over to you.

“No thank you.” You pulled back. You hated strangers, they made you even more nervous that before. Ever since your reputation was ruined by your breakup with your ex, you we’re constantly being judged by everyone. Your reputation was damaged over something you couldn’t control. Yet you had the shit to deal with.

“Back off buddy.” A voice says to the stranger as he slipped his arms around your waist.

“I’m just trying to buy her a drink,” The man spoke.

“Her drink is on me,” John said in a calm tone. “Now back off,” He repeated.

With that, the man left, and he sat next to you on the barstool that just became vacant. “I’m sorry about that, I should go come over.”

“It’s not your fault,” you whispered, shaking your head. “I’m used to it now, my reputation never been so worse, so” you trailed off, letting out a sigh.

“Well, I don’t care about that,” He says quietly as he took your hand from the bar.

“You must like me for me, huh?” You say with a small smile.

“I do,” said, planting a kiss on your hand. "And I promise that-"

"We can't make any promises now, can we?" you say, cutting him off with a peck on the lips as you leaned across.

He smiled warmly and after hesitating for a few seconds, leaned across to kiss your forehead. With that, he turned away to get the barman’s attention. you stared at his back, swallowing thickly, resisting the urge to touch his shoulder.

Is it cool that I said all that? Is it chill that you're in my head? Cause I know that it's delicate

As you pulled up outside his house, you were worried for a moment if it would be alright with you just showing up without warning. You had been going out nearly a month. Things were just the same. Nothing had changed.

You were starting to feel a little anxious as you realised that you were the one taking the relationship seriously, worried that he didn’t. It frustrated you that things were going so slow, yet so fast.

When you were together neither of you could keep your hands off each other, and they had sex anywhere but each other houses. Cars, even in the changing room once when you visited on a training session. But you hadn’t been to his house and neither had he yours.

When you’re with him, the question was always on the tip of the tongue, but almost as if he knew what you were thinking, he'd kiss you and then, everything was history. Temporarily at least, till the thoughts came crawling back.

Stop right there.

You simply could not afford to be the one who invested more in this relationship. Did he want it slow? That was fine, perfectly fine. He did not want to talk about it. That was cool too.

It was just fine.

Frowning from your thoughts, you were still debating whether to go and knock on his door. Thoughts interrupted when you heard a tap on the window making you jump. You turn to find him stood there, in a hoodie and shorts, standing there with a half-amused smile. Grinning sheepishly at him, you rolled her windows down. “Hey.”

“Hey.” He replies, crouching to give you a kiss on the lips. “What are you doing?” He asks.

You looked at him, hesitantly before answering. "Honestly? I thought you were training, so I just sat here." you lied.

He raised an eyebrow, his smile widening. "Well, I’m off today...that’s why my car is in the drive."

"Yeah...that explains that" you say, looking down at your steering wheel embarrassment. “Do you fancy coming for a drive?” you blurted out.

John looked at you and straightened up “I-Sure, but you’re a good driver, right?” He teased.

“Um, I don’t have my license...so” you joked, which John looked at you are laughing. “Let me lock up.”

The drive was silent, a comfortable silence. As you gripped the steering wheel for dear life as you drive down up the street you lived; you were going to turn off towards the lakes one of your favourite spots.

“This is the street you live on, right?” John asked.

“Uh...yeah I share an apartment with my best friend” you explain, quietly. Looking across at him, “Do you want to see my place?”

JOHN looked over at you and nodded, “Sure. I’d love too,” He says.

The third floor on the West Side, me and you. Handsome, your mansion with a view. Do the girls back home touch you like I do?

A few minutes later, you were both standing outside your apartment door as you fumbled with the keys nervously, grateful that your best friend wasn't home. The door clicked open, and you gestured for John to enter first, flicking on the lights as you followed.

You kicked off your shoes and taken off your coat as watched John looking around the apartment quietly, and you could see him processing everything he was seeing. Suddenly, you felt quite nervous because you knew the décor were not really his thing and it was small, his house was about 5 times the size of the apartment.

"I know it isn't your style or big but-" you started, but he you off.

"I love it," he said with a half-smile, turning to you.

You smiled at him and felt yourself relax a little and walked over to him slowly, satisfied when you saw his eyes darken a little. As soon as you were within touching distance, John pulled you towards him and kissed you. His arms wrapped around your back, engulfing you completely, as his fingers splayed across the length of her waist. He started to tug at the hem of your shirt,

You instinctively guided him towards the couch, leading him there while the two of you were still kissing. Both fell on to the couch, His lips kissing yours all down your jawline before meeting her lips.

Maybe this wasn't so bad after all.

For two weeks after they'd gone to her place, you had started to drop by the training ground unannounced. Almost all your visits always ended with a night spent in your apartment. Other than that, JOHN dropped by during the days when he wasn't at training or a game.

Despite all the time you both were spending together; you hadn't spoken about where you were going or what you were to each other. The only thing you knew was you both wanted each other, and that he was in your head almost all the time. You tried to tell him that you didn't like when he left the apartment, and you'd be wide awake listening to the fading echoes of his footsteps, desperately wanting to tell him to stay.

Echoes of your footsteps on the stairs, stay here, honey, I don't want to share

But the last time you were around your apartment, you were woken by an annoyed best friend, she had thrown a fit; she was tired of either going to her boyfriend’s place or being kept awake by the two of you. She would like to spend at least one silent night at her own house.

Now you were stood outside John house, waiting for him to open the door. Seconds later, the door opened, and he stood in the doorway grinning at her. “Hey, Y/N.”

“Hey, John,” you say shyly.

You could feel your cheeks burning, you were still shy around him after all this time. He stepped aside so you could walk through the door. Placing his hand on your back as he guided you in. He took your coat and purse and laid it on the table neatly by the door. He looked at you and around. “This is home.” He says quietly.

Your face turned red, once again stricken by how he didn’t hesitate. In the first week, he was always careful, and though you both hadn’t talked about anything, all these subtle things that he had started doing; small kisses, playing with your hair, hand-holding every time you were out and people staring. These things have her stupid amounts of happiness, and you knew you had fallen for him hard.

Cause I like you

“So, I know you love the notebook,” he started. “So, I thought we could, maybe watch it tonight?” He suggested.

You looked at the table that had a bowl of popcorn, and the DVD, tears filled your eyes. He listened to you babbling on about random things.

You looked at him, “it’s perfect!” you say kissing his cheek.

John half was watching the film but was watching you as you were indulged in the movie. He smiled as he went back to watching the film.

You had turned to see that John was watching you wipe away the tears “I just love this film, so much,” you say defending says, smiling.

John smiled and kissed your forehead, “I know.”

You had let out a small laugh, and her hand travelled upwards from his chest to bottom of his t-shirt. You leaned up to him kissing him. His hand left the armrest of the couch and rested on the side of your face, tracing along your jawline with his thumb; John knew you loved it when he did that.

"Bedroom," he whispered rapidly, pulling back for a second.

He stood up and offering his hand you and lead you up to his bedroom. After he closed the door behind him, he turned around and crashed his lips to yours again. You impatiently began to pull at the hem of his shirt, and chuckling softly, he left your lips for a second to pull his t-shirt over his head before going back to kissing you. Flipping you around, your back now to the door and continued to kiss.

You let out a satisfying and let your hands travel down towards his pants, teasing him slightly over his boxers, growling, he started to back away, pulling you with him towards the bed. When the back of his knees hit the edge of the bed, he turned around to you and pulled away from your lips. Both of you we’re breathing heavily, and he gave you a gentle nudge, so you fell back on to the bed.

Sliding his hands under your skirt, his fingers teased your hipbone before starting to remove your pants. You were already slipping out of your top, arching your back slightly as you pulled it over your head and threw it away recklessly before lying back down entirely. He bent down to kiss you, supporting himself with one hand while the other travelled back down to tug at your skirt.

Once that was off, his mouth moved from your lips to your chin, and then to your collarbone, one of your weak spots. He was moving slowly, from the top of your breasts to gentle kisses on your stomach, teasing you into frustration. Finally, his mouth travelled to between your legs, and your eyes fluttered closed as he teased you endlessly with his tongue, alternating between soft caresses and firm kisses. You began to whisper his name, request clear in your voice until he complied with your requests. Your hands clutched the sheets as you arched your back, each thrust eliciting a louder groan.

Your hips bucked, meeting thrust for thrust, as both of your moans fuelled each other's fires further. Finally, you felt yourself climaxing under him, and he followed soon after. He collapsed on top of you, both of your bodies shuddering with the release of desire you had just experienced. After laying on top of you for a few quiet minutes, John kissed your collarbone and rolled off you, lying next to you both catching your breath.

Sometimes I wonder when you sleep. Are you ever dreaming of me?

He slid one arm under your neck and pulled you into his side as you marvelled for the umpteenth time on how well you both fit together. You turned towards him and watched him quietly as he fell asleep. your eyes traced his jawline, and you were unsure whether to stroke the hint of stubble he hadn’t bothered to shave. You saw his eyes flicker towards you at his touch, but you didn’t back away. You knew you wanted more. This man-made you feel things no one ever had in a short space of knowing him, and you loved it. As you looked at him thoughtfully, he turned on his side to face you.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked

You looked at him hesitantly, swallowing nervously, this was it. You could either lie and worm your way out of it or just talk to him. You knew how that would end, he would either reject you and say you’re on different pages all this... or this could go somewhere, somewhere much better than where it was now.

Sometimes when I look into your eyes, I pretend you're mine, all the damn time

Leap of faith. Do it, Y/N.

"I like spending time with you, John" you say softly into his shoulder. "An-And I don't like it when you leave. When you go, I keep wondering if there're other girls who touch you like I do, you know?”

"Y/N I don't-" John started.

"I know, I know, you don't, John. It's just my mind messing with me because of... you know... I just worry, that's all. I feel like I'm sharing you with everyone else, and I don't like it. That's weird, right?" you sighed but continued. "I guess it's just because... Because... I don't know what we are to each other, you know? We never really talked about it. Am I your girlfriend? I just need to know. It drives me crazy and I just..." you trailed away, eyes still on his shoulder, too scared to look at his face.

"I don't know. I just really, really like you, John," You finished with a whisper, a heavy weightlifting off your shoulders.

You laid still, your hand starting to drum a nervous rhythm on his chest. You could feel him tense, and the panic began to build as you struggled to find words that could erase what you'd just said; to make light of what you just said. "Um, sorry, is it uh... cool that I said all that?"

Cool!? Really, Y/N?!

"I mean, I know that things are kind of... I-I know that it's delicate."

When he still hadn't said anything, you finally looked at him apologetically, asking defeated. "Isn't it?"

Closing his eyes at your tone for a second, he finally turned to look at you. "It is," he said softly, but continued. "But someone had to ask, and I'm sorry that I was too much of a coward to say that."

"And... you are my girlfriend. I thought you knew that" John said, and when your eyes widened off guard and you opened your mouth to say something, but he cut your off. "Yeah, I'm sorry for not getting around to tell you I thought that."

Then, removing his arm from under your neck, he now turned on his side to face you fully. "I like you too, Y/N. I like you a lot," he said thoughtfully. "I'm glad you're around."

He turned kissed your forehead, firm but soft and pulled back with a grin. "And nope, it isn't too soon. I'd say it was about damn time."

Cause I know that it's delicate

[elspethc22]

Best Road Trip Ever

Sciles Week Day 3: Road Trip

Pairing: Scott/Stiles

Word Count: 4416

‘Come on Scott!’ Stiles yelled up the stairs, resisting the urge to tap his foot in impatience. The jeep was packed, except for Scott’s belongings, and they were meant to be on the road nearly an hour ago.

Of course, that was before Liam had called Scott in a panic about… something. Stiles had his suspicions that nothing had actually been wrong other than Liam’s fear of something happening while Scott and Stiles were gone.

‘Scotty!’ He yelled again, and was about to start up the stairs when he heard footsteps.

‘I’m coming, I’m coming. Geez, calm down.’

Scott came hurrying down the stairs, full bag slung over his shoulder and a wide grin on his face. Stiles answered it with his own grin.

‘Road trip Scotty!’ Stiles greeted with a yell when Scott reached the bottom of the stairs.

‘Road trip!!’ Scott yelled right back, still grinning. Stiles spun on his foot and headed for the front door, Scott following behind. When Scott paused to lock up the house behind him, Stiles took the bag off him, heading to the jeep to stash the bag with his right in the back.

Slightly closer to the front were the bags with snack and drinks for the drive, well the first part of the drive anyway – Stiles wasn’t under the impression this lot of snacks would last all that long with both him and Scott in the car.

Scott hopped into the passenger seat just as Stiles was sliding behind the wheel, turning the keys in the ignition and listening with a smile as Roscoe started up with no fuss.

‘It’s so weird.’ Scott said, looking at him, and Stiles raised an eyebrow in question. ‘Seeing you just start the jeep with no issues every time after so many years of having to fight to start it, and constantly having to check under the hood.’

Stiles nodded, but kept grinning. It had taken a lot of time and money, but once high school had ended, and the threats to their town and their lives had started to die down, Stiles had been able to shift his focus to getting a job and attending college. In the end both Scott and Stiles had chosen to attend the local college, allowing them to stay home and both save money on rent if they’d gone to an expensive city and been around to help out with any supernatural issues that came up.

Scott had increased his hours with Deaton and had initially poured the extra income into helping his mum with getting the house fixed up (although Argent had helped with that too – he wasn’t just handy with multiple weapons, who knew?). Stiles on the other hand had used his new found income to help first with medical bills then finally, finally getting Roscoe a proper mechanic.

Their last year of college they had both been saving for this. The road trip they had talked about for years, that they had originally planned for right after high school but had had to put on the backburner as other things took precedence (and they really lacked the funds for it). But now, four years later they both finally felt it would be safe enough for them to leave for a few weeks and were finally in a position to be able to afford to do it.

The plans for this road trip had been set mostly back when they were pre-teens but they hadn’t changed much since then. They would be gone for a little over five weeks, heading down through California stopping at first at Yosemite, then heading across to the coast to San Francisco and making their way south along the coast until they hit LA. They were spending just over a week in LA then heading into Arizona to see the grand canyon and finally hitting Vegas.

Honestly, Stiles wasn’t sure which part he was most excited about. He knew which part he was least excited about.

‘Are you sure I can’t talk you out of the whole camping in Yosemite thing?’ He asked as they got on the road out of Beacon Hills. Scott just laughed at him.

‘Come on man, it was your idea.’ He reminded Stiles, who just huffed.

‘Yeah, when I was twelve! I think I’m allowed to change my mind.’ He glanced over at Scott who was shaking his head.

‘Well, too bad. I’ve been looking forward to camping in Yosemite for the last ten years and you’re not gonna change my mind.’ Stiles grumbled under his breath, but didn’t continue arguing – he knew Scott was looking forward to being able to spend some time out in nature that wasn’t the preserve with all its history and bad memories. Stiles was also looking forward to it, just not the camping bit.

***************************************************************************

The first night of their road trip, they realised that they had both severely underestimated how cold it would get overnight in Yosemite. Although it wasn’t really an issue for Scott, with his core temperature running higher than an average human’s since the bite, it was definitely an issue for Stiles who still, even after nearly five years after the Nogitsune, had periods of time where he struggled to get warm.

When they had first slipped into the tent and their sleeping bags, Stiles had been ok – it had been a warm day, and they spent nearly two hours exploring Yosemite before setting up camp and making their fire. But now, nearly an hour after lying down to sleep, Stiles was still awake and was starting to shiver. He’d already gotten up to pull on a second pair of socks and a jumper but to no avail.

‘Stiles?’ Stiles nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of Scott’s voice – he’d been so sure he was asleep. As he rolled over, Scott flicked on one of their torches.

‘Um, yeah?’ He responded, trying to be casual about it, hoping Scott hadn’t noticed the shaking.

‘You’re freezing, aren’t you?’ Scott asked, right to the point. Stiles briefly considered lying to him, but then he knew Scott would be able to tell. Even before becoming a werewolf Scott had almost always been able to tell when Stiles was lying.

‘Yeah. Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up or – ’

‘Shut up, Stiles. Ok, just unzip your sleeping bag.’ Scott told him, already crawling out of his own sleeping bag and opening it up. Stiles stared at him for a moment then moved to do the same. When he was done, Scott simply held out his hand for it, so Stiles passed it over. It took him a few tries, but eventually Scott got the sleeping bags zipped together, grinning triumphantly at Stiles, who just stared at him.

‘Come on, in you get.’ Stiles sighed and moved across to where Scott held up the sleeping bag. He crawled in quickly, and curled up on one side to leave room for Scott, who crawled in behind him then flicked the torch back off.

Stiles tried to keep himself curled up on one side of the sleeping bag, but after a few minutes and more shivering, Scott just let out a huff and slid up behind Stiles, wrapping an arm around him and pulling him in close.

‘Just, stop being stupid. You need to get warm, and I want to sleep so no complaining.’ Scott told him, and Stiles sighed, then let his body relax. As the shivers started to subside and Stiles felt himself start to warm, he gave in and actively snuggled back into Scott’s warmth, felt Scott tighten his hold and shift slightly to a more comfortable position.

‘Thanks Scott.’ He whispered and he swore he could feel Scott’s eye roll.

‘Any time Stiles. Get some sleep, we’ve got a lot of hiking to do tomorrow.’

***************************************************************************

The next two nights in the tent were spent the same way – Stiles had tried to separate the sleeping bags before bed on the second night before Scott came in, took one look at the scene and just stared at Stiles until he stopped.

They both changed into their comfy sleep clothes – Stiles even left off the second pair of socks and jumper as the first night had ended with him waking up sweating from the combination of the layers and Scott’s body heat.

Again, Stiles crawled into the sleeping bag first, followed by Scott. Instead of turning the torches straight off, however, Scott left them on, poking Stiles on the shoulder till he rolled over.

‘So, we hit the giant sequoias today, you still up for Yosemite Valley in the morning?’ Scott asked, and Stiles nodded.

‘Yeah, of course. It’s really nice – reminds me of when we were really into camping back in elementary school.’ Stiles said, thinking back. Of course, most of their camping had happened in their backyards, but Stiles’ dad had taken them hiking a few times in the preserve and a few other areas just outside of Beacon Hills.

‘I love it here.’ Scott admitted. ‘It’s nice to just walk through the forest and not be waiting for something to jump out or remembering that’s where the hunters almost got me, or that’s where I was bitten.’

‘I get it. And I mean, I totally have my limits on how long I could spend out here, but it’s nice being here. I’m really glad you insisted on keeping Yosemite on the road trip.’ Stiles admitted.

‘Even with the camping?’ Scott asked teasingly, and Stiles rolled his eyes.

‘Even with the camping. It’s… not as bad as I thought it would be.’ Stiles averted his gaze as he said this, and Scott was about to shoot out a teasing remark when something about Stiles’ face had him hesitating. Stiles was rarely shy or hesitant around him – in fact, the only time Stiles wasn’t completely up front with him was if he was embarrassed by something, and that something usually had something to do with Scott himself.

The last time he’d been like this had been… when he’d admitted to Scott he was bisexual, their first year of college. Not that Scott had been completely surprised (there were only so many comments or jokes Stiles could make before Scott started thinking there was something behind them). But that hadn’t been the cause of the embarrassment – it had been the fact that he had, at one point, had a crush on Scott. Now, given Stiles’ hesitation in sharing the sleeping bags last night and again tonight…

The possibility had Scott pausing, and a fluttering sensation occurring in his stomach. Over the last year of college Scott had started to realise that he might not necessarily be quite as straight as he’d always thought, although he’d never really found a guy that did more than just catch his eye in a fleeting, he’s cute kind of way. Thinking about Stiles that way, for the first time, well that was different. That was more than a fleeting kind of feeling. But it was one that he wasn’t going to just act on rashly – more than anything, Stiles was his best friend and Scott was never going to do anything to put that in jeopardy, so this would take some consideration.

‘Well I’m glad that my need to – how did you put it? Commune with nature? – isn’t ruining the road trip for you.’ He said softly, giving Stiles a small smile when he finally looked back up. Stiles smiled in return, and rolled his eyes.

‘Yeah, yeah. I still say that you’ll be agreeing with me when we hit San Francisco and a real bed in a nice, warm hotel with indoor plumbing and a roof.’ Stiles told him, and Scott laughed.

‘Big baby.’ Scott teased and Stiles huffed and rolled over to show Scott his back. Scott just laughed, reached out to flick off the torches then settled in, reaching out an arm to wrap around Stiles’ waist and pulling him in close to keep him warm.

***************************************************************************

Two days later, they reached San Francisco in the early afternoon and Stiles was incredibly thankful he’d had Roscoe fixed up properly because the Roscoe of high school would neverhave survived the hills.

‘So, it’s too early to check in to the hotel, and we’re booked for Alcatraz tomorrow, any preference for what we do today?’ Stiles asked as he tried to navigate his way into the city.

‘Let’s go see the Golden Gate Bridge and the Presidio.’ Scott said, looking at their list of places on his phone. He knew that Stiles was desperate to see the Yoda fountain and the other Star Wars stuff that was supposed to be in the nearby building, plus it was a great day for seeing the bridge weather wise.

‘You sure?’ Stiles asked, but Scott could already see that he was practically vibrating with excitement. Their top two places to visit – Alcatraz and the Presidio – were Stiles’ choices and after Yosemite Scott was more than willing to let Stiles lead this part of the trip.

‘Yeah. Come on, I’m sure you like memorised the best way to get there and where to park so let’s go.’ Stiles shot him a grin, double checked what street they were on and, as he continued to drive, started humming the Star Wars theme under his breath. Scott rolled his eyes at the lack of subtlety but smiled.

When they finally made it to the Presidio, the first thing they did, of course, was head straight for the Yoda fountain, Stiles practically dragging Scott along in his enthusiasm.

‘Oh my god Scott!! There it is, look at it.’ Scott tried to hide his wince at the high pitched tone of Stiles’ voice caused by his excitement.

‘It sure is buddy.’ He responded.

‘Ok, can you try to show at least a little more enthusiasm and respect for the awesomeness that is the Yoda fountain?’ Stiles asked, giving Scott a small glare. ‘I know you fail to appreciate the amazing work of George Lucas and the brilliance of this franchise but I will not have you disrespecting Yoda like that.’

‘Woah, ok calm down. No disrespect, I promise. Hey, you’re getting a photo with the fountain right?’ Scott asked and smiled when the diversion tactic worked. Stiles nodded and as soon as a family moved away from the fountain he bounded over, turning to face Scott with a massive grin on his face. Scott took a couple of photos, and was about to put his phone away when Stiles held out his hand to stop him.

‘Excuse me, do you mind taking a photo of us?’ He asked a couple who looked to be waiting to take photos themselves. The girl nodded and Stiles smiled, gesturing for Scott to hand over the phone, then come and stand next to him.

‘Come on Scotty, I know you don’t care but I need proof you were here too. Kira will never believe me.’ Stiles told him and Scott just shook his head, handing over his phone and making his way over to Stiles.

Stiles threw his arm around his shoulder, shuffling them when the girl indicated they were in front of the fountain. Scott just let Stiles move him around, grinning at him the whole time.

‘You two make a really cute couple.’ The girl told him when she handed back his phone. Scott felt a blush rise up his cheeks and he shifted his gaze quickly over towards Stiles to see if he’d heard. Stiles and her boyfriend were currently standing at the fountain geeking out at it, and Stiles seemed completely oblivious to the comment.

‘Uh, thanks. And thanks for the photos.’ He said, and she just smiled at him, giving him a nod.

‘Sally! Come on, our turn!’ Scott and the girl turned at the voice, and Scott saw Sally’s boyfriend gesturing for her as Stiles made his way over to Scott. He held out a phone to Scott who took it with a questioning look.

‘I told Jake we’d take their photos for them, but you’re usually better so you do it.’ Stiles said with a shrug, so Scott pocketed his phone and then took their photos for them.

Once they were done, Scott handed back the camera and after another round of thanks they went their separate ways. As they walked, Stiles chatting on about Star Wars trivia and the fountain, Scott wondered why he hadn’t corrected Sally when she’d referred to them as a couple. When she’d said it, he’d had a fleeting moment of panic then a warm feeling in his chest. He looked over at Stiles who was waving his hands as he spoke and Scott reached out to pull Stiles close to him just before he walked into a bench.

‘What… oh, thanks dude.’ Stiles said, smiling at Scott before continuing his one-sided discussion. Scott continued listening as they walked, keeping his eye on their path and

occasionally reaching out to steer Stiles out of the way of obstacles until they reached the area of the Presidio that provided them with an amazing view of the Golden Gate Bridge.

He wanted to talk to Stiles about the assumption the girl had made, the moment in the tent the other night, but he needed to sort through his own feelings and thoughts first to make sure he wouldn’t end up doing something that hurt Stiles or damaged their friendship.

***************************************************************************

Nearly a week later the boys were once again on the road, heading down the coast towards LA. They had spent three days exploring San Francisco, followed by a couple of lazy days in a small coastal town with nice beaches. Scott had had a great time in San Francisco, mostly just letting Stiles take the lead, letting his happiness and enthusiasm buoy Scott’s spirits. And the beach had been amazing – it was a quiet town without many tourists so the boys had been able to enjoy the beach without have to fight with crowds of people.

His thoughts kept slipping back to Sally’s comment and thoughts of him and Stiles however, and now that they were in the car, just the two of them for a few hours, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop Stiles from noticing something was up.

Sure enough, nearly an hour into the drive, Stiles pulled over to a rest stop, turned off the engine and shifted to look at Scott.

‘Ok, what’s up?’ Stiles asked, straight to the point.

‘What do you mean?’ Scott asked trying to deflect – from the narrowing of Stiles’ eyes it didn’t work.

‘You’ve been acting weird since the day we got to San Francisco. I figured you’d talk when you were ready but it’s been like three days already so what gives?’

‘I… you know in freshman year of college, when you told me you were bi?’ Scott started, watched as Stiles’ face became wary. He nodded slowly.

‘Yeah.’

‘Well… The second night in the tent in Yosemite I was thinking about that, when you said you… that you had feelings for me at some point – ’

‘Yeah, but you know that I wasn’t like faking being cold or anything to just get you to share – ’

‘No, Stiles of course I know that! That’s not what I meant. I mean – ’ Scott cut himself off, took a deep breath and then let it out. ‘Ok. So, that night I wasn’t thinking about what you’d told me in a bad way, I was thinking about it like, like I was thinkingabout it. And then when we were at the fountain, the Yoda fountain, that girl, Sally, she told me we were a cute couple and I couldn’t – I couldn’t stop thinking about it.’

‘Couldn’t stop thinking about…’ Stiles trailed off, looking at him.

‘About us. As a couple.’ They sat in silence for nearly two minutes after that statement, just staring at each other.

‘And what have you been thinking? I mean, Scott, you’re straight. Aren’t you? ’

‘I don’t… I don’t think so. I mean, I’ve never been really attracted to a guy before but I’m starting to think that’s because I was looking in the wrong places.’ Scott said softly.

‘And now?’ Stiles asked, just as soft.

‘Now, I know I’m definitely not one hundred percent straight. There’s one guy in particular that’s finally caught my eye and I think… I think it’s taken me long enough to realise it.’ Scott told him, and after a moment’s hesitation, he reached out a hand to Stiles.

Stiles looked at it, then back up at Scott and after his own momentary hesitation he reached out with his own hand to take it.

‘Are you… are you serious about this, Scott? Cause I can’t – ’

‘That’s why I’ve been, how did you put it? Weird. I’ve been thinking about it, just trying to make sure that what I was feeling was real, that I was really sure about it before I said anything.’ Scott told him, giving his hand a squeeze.

‘So are you? Sure?’ Stiles asked, sounding like he was afraid to hear the answer. Scott looked down at their joined hands, thought for a moment and then looked back up.

‘Yeah, yeah I am sure. I want this Stiles. Us. And I’m sorry if it’s – ’ Whatever Scott was about to say was cut off as Stiles leant across the centre console and pressed his lips against Scott’s.

Scott was shocked for about five seconds, then responded. And he had to admit, there may have been a tiny bit of him still in doubt before, but now, kissing Stiles – he knew this is what he wanted. Nothing had felt this right, and no kiss had ever gone straight to his head (or other areas) like that.

When Stiles pulled back, Scott just smiled at him.

‘Still one hundred percent sure.’ Scott told him, and Stiles grinned back.

***************************************************************************

Four days later they stood in the middle of a crowd, looking for the most likely suspect to take their photo for them. Then, Stiles spotted someone.

‘Oh my god, Jake!’ He called out, waving his hand in the air frantically and Scott looked around, laughing when he spotted Sally and Jake.

‘Stiles?’ Jake called out, pulling Sally in their direction. ‘Man, what are the chances?’

‘I know, right? Man I can’t believe the star wars area isn’t open yet, it’s gonna be so cool! But we did Star Tours and the Jedi Training – I wish Space Mountain was still themed’ Stiles said, and Scott smiled and rolled his eyes, catching Sally’s eye and laughing with her.

‘Well this could take a while.’ She said, nodding at their boyfriends – and wow, that was amazing to think.

‘Yeah. Stiles is still not over the fact that I didn’t find the movies as amazing as he does when he finally got me to sit down at watch them.’

‘Jake’s the same – I honestly did wonder early on if Jake was going to break it off with me because of it.’

‘Stiles has threatened to end our friendship I don’t even know how many times because of Star Wars.’

‘Your friendship? I thought you two – oh my god, I’m sorry!’ Sally said, looking horrified and Scott laughed.

‘No, no – I mean, when you said we were a cute couple last week at the Presidio, we weren’t, but now – actually, if you hadn’t said that we might not have talked about it so, thank you.’ Scott told her, and she looked at him, puzzled, then smiled.

‘Wow. I mean, you’re welcome? You really do make a cute couple.’ She repeated.

‘We do, don’t we?’ Stiles said, coming up behind them with Jake, nearly making Sally jump in surprise. ‘Scotty, guess what? Jake said a cast member told him Chewbacca is gonna be out for a meet and greet in like an hour, we have to go. Oh, and they’re going to comic con too!’

Scott grinned at his boyfriend, then shared a smile of exasperated fondness with Sally. The rest of their day was spent with Sally and Jake – after their obligatory couple shots in front of the castle, and a group shot once Sally spotted a nice looking lady who agreed to take some photos for them all.

After the evening fireworks, they went their separate ways as they headed back to their hotels, promising to meet up at comic con in a few days since Sally and Jake were on their last day at Disneyland.

Scott and Stiles walked back up to their hotel – it was about a twenty minute walk, but Scott enjoyed it, semi-quiet after the noise of Disneyland all day.

‘I can’t believe we just ran into them again like that.’ Stiles commented, leaning his head on Scott’s shoulder for a second as they walked.

‘Yeah, it was pretty unlikely. But hey, you got to talk Star Wars with Jake, and we’ll see them again in a few days. And I was talking to Sally – I thanked her.’ Scott said, and Stiles looked at him.

‘Thanked her?’ He asked, and Scott nodded.

‘Yeah. If it wasn’t for her mistaking us for a couple, I might have let things go as just me being, I don’t know, caught up in the moment – I wouldn’t have been overthinking things and you wouldn’t have pushed me to talk. I mean, it still might have happened eventually, but her comment is why it happened now. So…’

‘So, you thanked her.’ Stiles repeated, and Scott nodded again. ‘I’m really glad she called us a couple then.’

‘Me too.’ Scott said, then pulled Stiles in for a kiss. He wondered if the amazed feeling he got from doing that would ever wear off – he hoped it wouldn’t.

***************************************************************************

A few weeks later, they were headed home. They’d seen Alcatraz, Disneyland, the Hollywood sign, the Grand Canyon, the strip in Vegas and still – when people asked them what the best part of the trip was, their favourite spot they both answered with ‘I-5, heading south.’

It got them some strange looks, but they would just share a look and smile. And when asked about how the road trip went, they would sometimes give lots of details about what they did, who they met, what they saw.

But most often? They would just smile and say ‘best road trip ever.’