#he’s an ass but MY PRIMUS is he hot

[001-mirage]

The more I look at him the more I fall in love with him.

Help.

[teojira]

I saw that you had transformers on your fandom list, will you be willing to write a 'bot of choice x human reader jealousy/protectiveness fic? Like in that one scene from Transformers 2 where the Deception Pretender tried to seduce Sam but Bee absolutely wasn't having that but had to stay in car mode?

[Aren't you supposed to be more mature than this?]

Summary: Optimus knows better than to get attached to you (too late), he can't help but side eye you and a stranger interacting. (Based on Knightverse Optimus, after ROTB!)

Word count: 800+ words!

Pronouns: They/them

Warnings: Optimus is bad at feelings, Optimus being down bad, extremely self indulgent. Mainly Optimus' Pov as well! Lmk if I need to tag anything!

A/N: Everyone who knows me knows of my obsession and love for this man it's so bad, I have him tattooed and have a whole ass shrine I love HIMMM, Thank you sm for the request! He is the love of my life.

Optimus Prime has been called many things, many of which are true, things he'd accept with pride.

A great leader, a good friend, a valuable teammate, A war criminal.

A jealous bot was never one of them, until recently.

He wasn't sure when he started to take a shine towards you. Was it after Unicron? When he held you in his servos, cradling you to his chest as he transformed back into his bipedal form, only letting go of you after the confused looks from Bee and Mirage.

Maybe it was a while after that, when you offered to help clean him up, Noah was too busy rebuilding Mirage to offer his services to the big man himself.

Optimus could never wipe the feeling of your small hands gently running across his frame, taking extra care to mend any scratches you found, constantly checking in to make sure he was comfortable.

He's ashamed to admit, but he kept shuddering under your touch, his senses overwhelmed by your presence. Every time his cooling fans turned on, he'd wave it off as it was just hot outside. (it's 60 degrees out, liar.)

He tries to recharge that night, but the feeling in his chassis makes him restless. He can see his sensors go haywire at the mere thought of you. He is so fucked, he shuts his eyes and groans deeply, his mask shooting up to mask the sound, lest he wakes the others.

Primus help him.

With his new revelation, Optimus tries his best to distance himself towards you, always making excuses as to why he can't drive you home or to work (a flicker of jealously when Arcee offers, no one catches his digits curling ever so slightly into his palm), saying he must go on patrol for the time being. He waves you off when you try and care for him, asking if he'd like any help with any scrapes and dents, saying he can live with them, he's been through worse.

Its only natural that you'd give him some space, that's the kind of person you are, kind, loving, respectful, loyal to a fault, but it doesn't escape his notice when your smile falls after he politely tells you you're not needed, his spark aching when you turn around to go find another bot.

Optimus watches you now, stationed on the street.

He has no right to be upset when you're stopped outside of the garage by an older man, the man so clearly taking interest in you while you're very politely listening and nodding, shooting that oh so pretty smile to a man who he's sure is not fit to be anywhere near you, not worthy of the warm smile you wear.

It makes him seethe in jealousy, and it's scary.

He can not remember a time when he had ever been jealous. He's a prime. He was supposed to be a calm and collected leader and yet. And yet, he's so close to blowing his hor-

You suddenly whirl towards him. If he was any better of a man, he wouldn't immediately think of how cute you looked, how your lips moved as you let out a yelp.

It isn't until that thought passes his mind that he realizes he used his truckers horn. Embarrassment trickles through his body, although now he has your attention, and you are making your way towards him. The man following behind you keeps the conversation going, not catching a hint.

Optimus is ready to honk again, especially if this man keeps following so close behind you, way too close for comfort.

You beat him to it, turning around as you rest a hand on Optimus’ cabins door handle, shooting the man a polite smile.

“Sorry about that, but my husband is actually here to pick me up, so I have to go. Have a good day!” And You hoist yourself up, quickly buckling your seat belt, gently patting the dashboard in hopes Optimus fucking drives before you're bothered anymore.

Optimus’ processor buffers, his engine revving as he goes on autopilot to tale you both away. Does he know where to drive to? Certainly no, but you're with him now. He's sure you could ask him to take you to distant planets, and he'd make it work for you and only you.

“Thank you for the save, big guy.” You smile brightly at his steering wheel, your eyes lovingly trailing across the autobot symbol that sits in the center.

“It was nothing, I am glad to be there to assist.” The cabin rumbles with his voice, soothing your anxiety. You curl into your seat, resting your head.

��Where are we going?”

“If I'm not mistaken, you mentioned wanting to go to upstate New York to drive along some scenic routes? I'll gladly be your escort.”

He is so ridiculously falling for you, but he can't bring himself to hate it, especially when you excitedly hop in your seat.

ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ᴠᴇʀʏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ꜰᴏʀ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇᴀʀ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴏᴏɴ!

[tinydefector]

so often I keep thinking every night about a bot not moving their hips but can retract up and down their spike like that one diIdo machine so imagine their human sit on their spike,squirming and in ecstacy, while the bot lay still yet their spike moving wildly too augh

I don't know why I found this so funny.

But I'm positive there would be some sort of Spike mod they could get that works like that. All I can imagine is them being an absolute ass deciding to torment their human lover by using the speed, keeping it a nice pace but slowly it down when their lover, coming to a complete still while just smiling and teasing as their human lover as they nearly sob on their spike, begging and pleading for the cybertronian to pick up the pace and continue. The bots I can very much see being a tease are Sideswipe, Rodimus, Starscream, Swerve, Jazz, occasional Prowl when he's feeling rather moody.

Swerve shoots his little lover a large grin, "you look good like this sunshine," he teased while holding their hips in place. A whine leaves their lips as they shoot him a look. "Swerve, please!" They huff only for him to make a small noise of disapproval. "Ah ah, ask nicely Sparklet, you'll get what you want if you ask nicely"

Starscream sitting there smugly watching the way they take his spike as he sits there, his spike moving quickly as he rest his face in his palm. "Well, look at you, moaning like you were made for this this, my little blissed out toy" he coos, optics twinkling in delight as he watches each twitch and movement.

Sideswipe chuckles in amusement. "Awww, come on, I thought you could take more than that sweetspark." he slowly pulls them further down on his spike as it pistons up into his lover. His servo curled around their side, admiring the way his spike shifts and is visible through their smaller frame. "Mmm, that's it, sweetspark, so good"

Rodimus lays there with a stupid grin on his face as he watches the way they scold at him, "Rodimus I swear to God or primus or what ever holy creature you believe in if you don't start moving I'm leaving" they huff out only for him to start giggling to himself before slowly increasing the pace. "Roddy! Stop being a dick. " His optics continue watching. "Oh, come on, let me enjoy testing the new mods," he whines with a pout on his face.

Jazz is flirting the whole time. He's gentle, slow as he works his lover open on his spike, loving to watch the way they arch and lean into his touch. "Ain't you something cher, you make such pretty noises for me," he hums in delight as he leans up to steal a kiss from them. "Thatz it, babydoll squeeze me real good," he coos in delight while picking up the pace.

Prowl sits in his office with his human practical glued to his lap, one servo rested on their thigh, and his optics occasionally flick from his work to them. "I told you to behave. If you can't sit still, I stop," he grumbles. A deep whine and sob leaves his lover, their legs shake as their head is thrown back into his plating,

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[annabelle-creart]

The 13 Prime Au

It´s so funny how bots see the Primes at these days, like, powerful beings with great knowledge and energy, like, dude, they´re not, they doesn´t even were as you think on the old days, like

Prima was a paranoid bitch, I mean it, that man and his angsty and anxious look made everyone thought he was The Thirteenth and not Prima, he created Ghost-stories,

Megatronus was a depressive bear who depended on Solus to have at least 1% of self-esteem on himself,

Solus as the only female was who supported the whole team when Prima couldn´t, but that doesn´t mean she didn´t did stupid gadgets because she was bored and let everyone to use them,

Vector was the one who tested her gadgets because he didn´t fear death, he was so fucking hyperactive and uncontrollable, the most infantile of the team, a man kid, to be wise didn´t mean he didn´t wanted to have fun,

and the there was Quintus and his autistic ass going one way to another in the galaxy, studying the planets and life itself and then coming back home to sit because he got energy-drained,

Micronus trying to deal with all the thoughts of the team and also being A FUCKING GOSSIP MESSENGER, everyone knew about Solus and Megatronus relationship because of his anti-silence mouth,

Onyx was both the grandpa and the pet of the team, when he´s not relaxing with a cup of hot energon and drawing he is in an astral travel with Quintus, he´s Quintus' special info dumping guest, probably they´re the favorite brother of the other,

Liege, as we know is an asshole and everyone knew that, but what not everyone knew and just his siblings was how a CHICKEN he was, he was the tinnest of the team just after Micronus and was always distracting everyone when they were angry, he´s like Starscream but 10 times worst,

Alchemist was an alcoholic but no one pay attention to it till he almost fall from the planet, how? Primus is still trying to figured out that,

Alpha Trion was a book worm, put a book in front on him and in one hour he will know everything about it and the author, and he was a book worm because his social skills were pure shit, the anxiety didn´t let him live out of his magic library,

Amalgamous is still a mystery because no one on the house could comprehend why with all that power he just made spectacles for the rest and the new cybertonians, even liege called him once a buffon,

Nexus was constantly treated like a crazy bot because he was always talking to himself, well, he wasn´t, he was a whole system of various bots, it was actually one of the bots talking to another with the same voice, but the rest didn´t get how it felt, so, they tried not to talk much with them, that´s actually why Nexus system is so angry at their siblings now,

Thirteenth is dead...

Primus is an absent father,

they all literally fought against their uncle

so, now, you can imagine how out of control that house was...

---

The Garden is my new project, please, take a look at it

[brobotsbro]

just watched transformers one!!! lil corny but very good. Spoilers spoilers spoilers!!!!!!

Steve Buschemi did a great job as Starscream and OooohHHhh my GOD they gave an in universe reason why his voice is Like That I love it. All of us saying there's no point unless he sounds like he's gargling TV static, we are vindicated

SO MANY REFERENCES

My "chaotic dumbass at heart Orion Pax" ass is feasting with this movie. Truly he was just a Guy

Tbh I'm with D-16 tho!! TEAR THE BITCH APART

Alpha Trion kinda hot tho 👀👀

Me and my brother said (this didn't happen unfortunately) but when Orion was getting the matrix they should have had Primus himself say a line and have it be Peter Cullen. We would have been on our feet screaming

I'm glad they didn't actually confirm something concrete about Elita and Orion. I'm down with it but I felt it would have been forced at that point, with the characterization thus far

THEY GAVE SOUNDWAVE AND SHOCKWAVE A BREAST REDUCTION 😔😔😔

All the voice actors did great!!!!!

I feel like the decepticons are very sympathetic in this. Up until The Moment, I was with Megatron. He just had a heated gamer moment bro!!!!

Cybertron was beautiful!

LOVED the first time transforming mishaps. Robot puberty lol

They pronounced Quintesson "quin-tah-saahn"???? Me and my brother always pronounced it "quin-tess-uhn"

Megatron really shouldn't have been able to beat up Starscream like that tho, homeboy just learned to transform ten minutes ago and he's beating The Leader of The Old Guard????? Who is head and shoulders taller than him???? Bruh

Loved it!!!!!

[ikkosu]

Last one for you captain before I go off to bed 🫡.

Imagine you get pulled over, fully expecting it to be a normal traffic stop, nope, it’s prowl; he uses his holoform to arrest you blah blah blah. You’ve been kidnapped by him, and you’re in a secluded location and his holoforms materialized in the back of the car with you toying with your pants telling you how much he loves you and how long he’s been watching you.

💥🔥🔥🔥🔥HOW DO YOU KNOW IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS EXACT SAME SCENARIO COMPO💥🔥💥

But oh my gosh his holoform,,,HOT BUFF COP. he wouldn't be as buff as fortmax, but he's defn not as twinky as Roddy either. He's, like, the the in-between of the both of them with decent amount of muscles dear god (let me nuzzle your belly sir) 🛐🛐 I've headcanon my prowl Holo as sekingar because GYATT sir

ANYWHOO

prowl in his cop uniform 🛐 black sunglasses, and rolled up sleeved while you're on his lap, back against his chest.

While he's toying your pants , palming and kneading the sensitive spots that makes you whimper, he's breathing heavily, the crook of his nose is a soft nestle against the nape of your neck. And his lips suckle on the flesh, rolling it between his teeth as he murmers how good you smell.

And he talks about how you should use stop using the last bodywash you had on last week, keep using the recent one because its better.

The one that smelled like lavender. And, when you're silent with the dreadful prospect of how the fuck does he know that

Prowl just chuckles, "I know everything. Everything about you, you don't even know."

And soon, everything clicks together.

The missing undergarments. Your missing shirt. The strange cop car parking at the most unethical places you coincidentally always come across.

Worse, you remember meeting him once. And, you remember brushing off his darkly lit eyes and locked jaw when you're talking about a friend or anyone else in particular.

"Primus you're perfect. I want every inch of of that body."

His love bomb rant is occasionally interrupted by a groan as you squirm on his lap. The iron grip across your waist makes your ass rub against his very much hardened crotch when you move.

And Prowl feels it. His neck muscles strain when he grunts. Even if it's a holographic extension of his body, he feels it fervently and bucks his hips up for friction and you whimper.

Now, he's ranting in your ear. About his sleepless nights when his hands would glide up the slick shaft of his spike. About how your lips would feel so good against his member, throat gagging, milking down his transfluid.

"You don't know how many times I've hold back from breaking down that fucking window of yours, pipsqeak."

You live on the 13th floor.

And the only window across your bedroom balcony, is an abandoned building:'s. You suddenly remember the daunting feeling of spotting a shadow looming in that gaping hole. Blue flaring lights, dimming and skimming.

"Don't think you can hide from me."

[uselessmicrowave]

kinktober day eight

breakdown x reader

tws/content- alt mode sex, casual, public (forest), praise, playful banter, masc reader, afab reader, mentions of kobd x reader, object insertion, sticky ibterfacing

“Breakdown, I’ll get your interior all messy.”

“C’mon, you know I like a little mess.” you can hear the smirk in his tone. “I’m not K.O., and we’ll clean up after.”

“Alright, you’ve convinced me.” you tease, kissing the top of his steering wheel. You instruct him, fiddling with the zipper on your pants. “Need to drive into the forest though, so people don’t see.”

You nearly get thrown into the dashboard because of how quickly he’d reversed. You yelp as Breakdown quickly apologizes. “Sorry!”

“It’s fine, I know how impatient you get-”

“Oh hush, you.” he teases back, stopping and parking when he could no longer see the lights from the drive-in movie theater screen. There’s only the light from his bio lights, faint blue and orange beams illuminate your body. “Never mind, be as loud as you want to.”

You giggle, slipping your pants and boxers off, swinging a leg over to the passenger’s seat. You’re sat on his middle console, now tugging at your shirt. You don’t really care about your fluids getting on the leathery material.

“Primus, you’re so hot…” Breakdown murmurs, the bio lights glowing brighter. Arousal starts to throb and gather between your legs. “Wish you could fit on my spike.”

“I know big boy, I wish I could too.” you swipe two fingers over your tongue, gathering spit and slathering the lubricant onto his gear shift.

“Think you’ll even fit on that? Looks kind of big for you, baby.”

“I can take it.” you take more spit from your tongue, gently rubbing in between your thighs. “I think.”

“Just be gentle with yourself.” you move forward a bit, Breakdown adjusts the seats so that you’ll still be on your knees. His yellow bio lighting illuminates your soft body as you position yourself over the gear shift. It’s cold against your entrance, rubbing the blunt object against yourself makes you gasp. As you lower your hips, you place your hands on his dash board. “Just like that, hm handsome?”

“Hnn… Oh!” you whine, dropping down onto the object. The stretch stings, but the thickness of it presses against a sensitive place inside you.

“Careful, baby.” his voice sends vibrations through his interior, making you see stars and grind down. You moan, sliding all the way down onto the gear shift, your ass against the center console.

You give a careful bounce, whining when the object nudges a sensitive bundle of nerves. Breakdown makes a small, sweet sound when you squeeze and squirm on the object.

“Breakdown…?” you quietly prompt, almost not heard over the blasting air of his cooling system.

“Huh?” he seems flustered.

“You okay, big guy?” you ask with a smirk.

“Mmhm.” he responds shakily, voice tinted by crackling static. His bio lights flicker as he speaks.

“You seem really quiet now, what happened, Breaky?” you rub at his dash, smiling wider and giving him another experimental bounce.

“Nothing… It’s all good, keep going. Please.” he mumbles out quickly, engine rumbling with excitement.

“If you say so…” you give him another slow, gentle bounce, biting your lip to stay silent. Instead of you moaning, it’s him letting out a breathy whine. You smile, about to tease him again when he revs his engine again, the vibrations rattle through your core, making you moan and jump on the object.

“Hn!” Breakdown gasps, revving again. You give him a toothy grin, squeezing and bouncing to make him moan. “Y/n!”

You chuckle, rocking back and forth on his gear shift, his bio lights on his dash flash erratically, he makes the cutest most desperate and adorable noises…

“Ohh…” he gasps, sending more vibrations straight into your body, massaging all of the delicate nerves inside you.

“I didn’t know you could feel that, big boy…” you strain, bouncing again. Breakdown hums, making you squeeze on him. He doesn’t seem to notice your words, only focused on how you look and the sounds you make when you’re on him.

The hotness in the bottom of your stomach becomes more and more noticeable, more easily stirred when Breakdown groans and sends the shaky feelings right into you.

“Primus, that’s… so good…” he whines, stirring up the warmth as you get closer and closer to your edge. Your fluids have dripped down into his cup holders, smearing on your thighs to the leathery seating. “Mmn!”

His increase in noises and responses to your movements skyrockets, he whimpers at every thrust, and he, you think, overloads before you. You can hear his internal systems working overtime, Breakdown becoming more and more vocal before he groans loud and long, quieting to little whimpers as you’re finishing too.

You catch your breath before even thinking of saying anything. “Do you have anything to clean up…?”

“Scrap…”

[witchofthesouls]

Tbh Star Saber’s reaction is justified. Sentinel just claims this random bot as a bride (probably doesn’t even know their name too) I’d be miffed too if I was his protector. But what about said bot’s reaction? You wake up after passing out and suddenly your hitched, I’d be backing up Star Saber in the background as he yells at Sentinel.

(You're going to be busy trying to deal with alien biology to start yelling. If anything you're yelling at whatever drop-kicked you into this timeline that's the dumpster fire that makes up Bayverse.

Get ready for misunderstandings and failed negotiations:)

Consciousness doesn't gently trickle back. It kicks you in the teeth without any warning. One moment, darkness. The next moment, you're heaving up and accidentally slamming into something hard.

That something yelps.

While you have the grace of facial protection, Sentinel isn't as lucky. You still have a throbbing headache, though. It flares whenever there's the incomprehensible electronic noise of their native tongue is being spoken.

Your head pulses to an excruciating degree when suddenly it clicks. The noise becomes words.

And you don't like them.

"Look, it can't even speak. Let alone understand us." Star Saber - your HUD factually pings, rapidly scrolling all of his positions, achievements, strengths, and possible weaknesses - says like an absolute cunt.

"Oooooo. Cooon-tuh." The High Lord Protector sounds out the English your ass of a mouth that not even a supercomputer brain could leash have shot out. The Seeker is unamused, and you don't even resist the urge to stick your tongue out since you're wearing the visor and he can't see.

You have a vague sense that you're forgetting something important. The wisps of a strange dream linger in the periphery edges of your mind, but a hiccuping wail interrupts everything.

Nearby and attached to the berth (fanon terminology don't fail you now!) are the infants. You immediately pick up the crying one. The tiny face warps from the force of their distress. Something compels you to cradle it up to your chest, and they settle down to snuffly whistles.

Of course, the other one starts up when your hands are full.

Sentinel picks the second infant to maneuver them to you. You never expected this asshole to have gentle hands, but he does. At least for the babies.

"They're split-spark." He explains as both of them grab a hold of each other, whistling and chirping between a songbird and a hot kettle. "They have to remain close together until they're third in-star."

There's a moment of silence in the room, only interrupted by the newsparks' chirping babbling and fretful meeping.

"Not to be rude," you slowly test out the digital language, and Star Saber doesn't snort or move his expression, but he definitely disproves. Fucker. "But why am I here?"

"Yes, Prime," the Seeker knows how to turn a soft voice into an assassin's thread. "Why do we have such a guest here?"

The words he chose have so many insulting undertones and stresses that if you didn't have your arms full, you might as well slap him. High Lord Protector be damned.

He wants you far away, and you want to be farther than Star Saber could dream of.

Of course, neither you nor Star Saber gets those desires granted.

"You're here," Sentinel’s tone shifts. Formal. Very formal. A strange mix of anticipation and... duty? "In the privacy of my household and in the presence of my most trusted-" Star Saber's expression is set in stone and just as cold "-to declare our sparks together in front of Primus."

Unlike fanfics where Sam Witwicky has the Allspark to handily act as a translator, you only have the equivalent of a more sensible Google translate with all of the additional kinda-helpul-but-not-really dings of subharmonics and underlying glyphs to provide more context. It sounds like a marriage proposal, but the way Sentinel emphasized it is more akin to a 'Guardian seek out an equal partnership in a (business) venture.'

Thanks, Google. Great help as always. Never change.

Unless you've taken over the body of a noble with capital to buy out galaxies or some sort of daring pirate/elite assassin with that ghostly possession of hidden skills, you have no idea why he's asking you for this kind of proposition.

You need to bite the bullet because you don't know what you're walking into, and maybe you can jump out another window and speed away.

You start searching the lexicon for the right words. Hopefully.

_____________

Even with the visor eclipsing your face, you're refreshingly honest and it's something Sentinel profoundly misses ever since he's been taken from the Guiding Hand's Towers.

And right now, they know your possible intention to jump again beneath the tangle of confusion and worry.

The windows here are reinforced and capable of withstanding artillery blasts and extreme heat resistance as well.

:: The foundlings are completely attached to this one. :: Hard and unforgiving Star Saber may be, but there are a few things that soften the mech. It may be the Seekerkin-coding in him that invokes protective feelings towards the very young.

You and the newsparks have sealed a guardian/parental bond. They can't separate them from you. The strain will most likely kill them, and possibly you with your recent recklessness. You may have a powerfully dense spark -a hallmark of mecha with Primal heritage- but you're still young, barely past the ninth in-star, and still developing towards an adult frame.

Ratchet had been torn between absolute fury and begrudgingly impressed by the one that had done your frame-schematics. It's a remarkable mix of stealth modifications, hidden components, and security. Your systems had literally chewed up suppression codes and medical overrides and spat them out.

Either you have a creator that's a fiend of a weaponsmith or you have ties to the legendary War-Forged, too. Unbelievable, but no one expected any frames out in the Wastelands to be blessed by Primus, and yet here they are with not one, but two individuals.

And Sentinel is asking the mechling for a formal courtship with the intention of bonding.

"Are you-" you speak carefully, testing out the glyphs, and he wonders what kind of dialect the Wilders speak "-asking me to bond with you?"

The phrase makes logical sense. However, Sentinel can't help but choke at the subglyphs you used. Instead of 'unity of wedlock between two parties,' you attached something akin to sponsoring a courtesan for an exclusive relationship. An explicitly sexual one.

Star Saber doesn't budge. The Seeker's body langauge is impeccable and beyond reproach to stand as a witness to this mess, but Sentinel feels the icy talons of their shared bond flare to a vicious burning grip.

:: If you say any sort of agreement to that poorly worded question, Sentinel Prime. :: Star Saber's terrible words cut into Sentinel's spark. :: I will personally make the rest of your limited time on this planet a new level of Unicron's Pits. ::

Sentinel had to lock his joints to keep himself upright and not sprawled on the floor. After a long moment, he manages to grapple with the bond to sear away Star Saber's influence. :: I wasn't! ::

Slag all those that deify their partnership as the original split-sparks Prima and Megatronus, it's a slaggen mockery of a marital bond.

Sentinel gathers every scrap of his intentions to make it work with the newly found Primal-descended and throws it at Star Saber's end. It's still a raw wound. He finds it deeply discomforting to be intimately tied to the Seeker upon the confirmed demise of an unmoored Zeta Prime. Just barely after the Temple's blessings to establish suitable compatibility as a Prime and a new Protector.

(If Sentinel thinks too much about it, he will scream until he burns out and -)

Star Saber quirks a plate at his efforts and releases the onslaught. :: Look at that. Perhaps there's a warrior underneath that softness, librarian. Correct your Intended before the Wilder escapes with the newsparks. ::

During their internal spat, you pressed your back against the wall, plating closed to minimize noise. You've silenced your biosignature as well. Even the foundlings are silent -a natural defense that's driven by terror of the sudden tensions and your own reaction.

Fan-fragging-tastic.

[mychlapci]

Tfa decepticon reddit.com equivalent:

R/tifu: tifu by asking my (7000000M) conjunx (500000M) if he thinks his much hotter friend (20000M) would be a surrogate carrier for us [edit #1] you must understand this is not me being lecherous. I love my conjunx but his hot friend's hips are as wide as my conjunx is tall. [Edit #2] stop sending me DMs asking for the comm code of my conjunx's friend. (Megop)

R/relationships: my (6800000M) conjunx (15000M) keeps frantically asking me if he is "the hot friend" of his group. Does he want me to lie to him? because his friend (20000M) is as wide as he is tall and can destroy buildings by sitting on them. [edit #1] no I AM NOT going to give you worms the comm code of the hot friend FRAG OFF. [Blitzbee]

R/vent: my (6700000M) conjunx (5000000M) lost the sparkling again [lockprowl]

R/medicine: [meta] stop posting creepshots of that autobot ambulance and asking if anyone knows his designation, current location, or comm code. Not only are these thirstposts off topic, he who shall not be named starts spamming the entire subreddit to defend his conjunx's honor [edit #1] it's only been 2 cycles and I had to delete ten different comments. Drift stop making alts to post here you aren't even a medic OR a decepticon

R/advice: a 60 page long post from Lugnut lamenting about finding an autobot [bulkhead] sexually attractive for the first time in his life and how to "stop betraying the decepticon cause". He vaguely describes the autobot, and the comments are a wall of "that is not an autobot. You have encountered a fertility deity crafted by primus's servo. Its ok to want to fuck him"

what i've learned from this is that tfa Bulkhead is one sexy bastard, and all the 'Cons kind of wanna get him pregnant (classic case of “I want a big fat bitch but i'm dating this skinny twink instead” truly sad), and that tfa Ratchet is also one sexy bastard and all the 'Cons wanna get him pregnant. This still severely baffles the rest of team prime, who all secretly thought they were the hottie of the team. and of course, the prowl miscarriage arc thickens. I know a twink with that little waist can’t carry a sparkling to term. His ass is not sexy in ’Con culture at all.

[cyberrose2001]

i’m coming out and this is probably no surprise but i’m the sentinel fucker anon.

anyways, you remember the big ass ask that i sent 👀 yeah… could i get some of that (oral, pegging, crying, multiple orgasms, aftercare) with a ftm reader if possible?

not entirely off topic but i love your horny rambles (if i can call it that), very entertaining and easy to agree with (especially when the characters are so…. MMMHFH).

TFA Sentinel x ftm!Reader

Hi Micro! Thank you for enjoying my horny rambles (and thank you for yours). Here’s your order! I hope you like it because I started this before I went away and forgot where I was going to go with it askdjheb

Anyway, here’s Sentinel getting pounded by ftm reader!

Warnings: Pegging, crying, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, some oral (reader giving).

Word Count: 1154

“Oh, Sentinel, what’s wrong, hm?” You lift your head from his valve to take a quick breather, “You want more, is that it, baby?”

Sentinel desperately nods as your slicked fingers massage against his clenched callipers while your other hand works magic, stroking his already weeping spike.

It’s almost too easy to turn Sentinel into a blabbering mess, and it’s what you love about him. Nobody apart from you knows how he whines and begs for you behind locked doors, how much of a slut he is for you. Because the one orgasm you’ve already given him wasn’t enough, he’s always desperate for more. And Primus, were you going to give him more

“Hm, that doesn’t sound very convincing, baby.” Your cheek presses against his hot anterior node as your strokes slow until you are only palming at his spike, innocent eyes gazing at how his thickness throbs against it, “Remember when I said to use your words?”

Your gaze falls onto Sentinel's teary optics, and you can feel his hips slowly rocking against your cheek.

“Please, I want more,” He blinks a few times, and you can see the lubricant fall down his face onto the pillow below, “I’ve been good for you. Primus, frag me, please.”

You beat on it for a moment, enough to fully take the sight of him in. His back struts gently arched, the tiny jerks of his hips you can’t see but only feel against your face, his servos fisting the damp sheets below, the old tears from earlier already staining his faceplate like dried-up rivers. It was a gorgeous sight, and you’re going to fucking ruin it.

You prop yourself up onto your knees, your silicone strap-on bobbing up and down between your hips as you do. Grabbing behind Sentinel's knees, you roughly pull his hips closer to yours until your dick presses against his node, causing Sentinel to draw a sharp intake.

“You want it?”

“Mmmh, yes…”

“Louder,” A swift slap to the inside of his thigh has him flinching and sobbing at the sting, “Tell me how much you want me to fuck your pretty valve.”

“Fuck I need it! I need it so bad, please!” Sentinel squirms under you, and a new flood of fresh lubricant pours from his optics.

His pleads send shivers down your spine. You usually wouldn’t have given in to him so quickly, making him wait just a bit longer until his processor almost fries from overstimulating him or the sheer amount of lubricant clogging his systems. But you’re pretty pent-up now, so you line up and slip straight into his valve with no resistance.

“Oooh, frag, yes!” Sentinel squeezes his swollen optics shut as you push yourself to the hilt. However, you didn’t need to do much more work due to the sheer suction on you.

To gain more leverage, you lift his pedes over your shoulders and push your chest flush against his chassis, drawing a delightful whine from him. You loved fucking him this way, if not to see his facial expressions come undone as he loses himself but also to hear him weep against your ear.

And boy, does he. You start rolling your hips down into him, trapping his legs between your arms whilst holding down his servos on the sheets like a yoga session gone right. And you start pounding.

“Ouugh frag it!” Sentinel moans out, the side of his helm buried into the pillow. You know him well enough to know that he’s not only hiding from you out of pleasure but for the downright dirty noises his wet valve is making. He finds it embarrassing.

You find it hot.

“C’mon, baby,” You pant; you’re exhausted from how long you’ve been fucking him for. Your muscles are seizing up, and your hips are aching, “One more, can you hggf… gimme one more?”

“I can’t! It’s haHAAgh too much!”

At this point, Sentinel has overloaded approximately three times. Not that you’ve been counting. It could’ve been more, but it’s hard to tell when you have him crying out and spilling fresh tears against your cheek with every thrust. But either way, you’re not a fan of uneven numbers, you’ll make it at least four.

“How about I give you a helping hand?” You sit up and away from his chassis, splaying a hand against it. His pedes still hang over your shoulders, but you manage to manoeuvre one off. With the extra room granted to you, your hand latches onto his bouncing spike, and you start to jack him off.

“Oh, Primus!” Sentinel cries out as he starts bucking into your tight grip, “Feels so g-good! Oh, slag, I love you so much!”

“Is that right, baby boy? Will you love me more after you cum on my face?” Your fist speeds up in tandem with your thrusts, desperate for him to finish one last time, “I know you can do it, c’mon, sweetie.”

The thought of being able to finish on your face must’ve been the final Jenga block that caused him to come crashing down. Sentinel arches his back as he hits his last overload of the evening. Jets of warm trans fluid hit your cheek and spill over your knuckles, mixing with the cooled-down spillage of his previous excesses on his pelvis. Fresh tears also pool from his optics as his hips bury themselves into the berth to try and escape the continuous milking of his overstimulated spike.

“I- ahhhnnn oh slag! Please, no more!” Sentinel whimpers out, and you finally let go of his spike, watching it twitch and bounce against his abdomen.

After lovingly observing your spent mech for a moment, drenched in his slick transfluids, you pull your strap out and watch as he jolts from the added stimulation. You unbuckle the belt from your hips and toss it across the bed. You’ll deal with the sopping-wet phallic object later. For now, you grab the damp towel on the nightstand and crawl on top of him to straddle his chassis.

“Are you ok? I wasn’t too rough on you, was I?” You gently coo, cupping his chin with one hand while you wipe under his optics with the cloth.

Sentinel is still catching his breath, giving you a slight whine, “Y-Yeah, I’m alright. I forget how talented you are with multitasking, though.”

“I’m a man with many talents, Sentinel,” You laugh softly, moving the cloth down under his chin to wipe the rest of the stains away, “But I’m more impressed with how many overloads you gave me, I think I lost track at one point.”

“Hah, I wasn’t even counting.” He gives you a slight toothy grin, and you can’t help but lean down to capture it with a kiss.

Sentinel hums into your mouth, moving his shaky servos to rest on your thighs, “Can we shower now? I think I got transfluids in my circuits.”

[ask-a-bot]

Hot Rod- hi carrier!!! Oooh this is fun, I've never talked to an al-ter-na-tive version of my carrier!

Bumblebee- roddy, hey, you know you aren't supposed to touch that. It's First Aid's and you're too young to be on the internet. Sorry, we're from the autobots-in-training blog. Didn't mean to bother you. Our carrier is out on a mission and Roddy misses him.

Roddy- Our carrier is gonna kick ass!

Bumblebee- Roddy! Who taught you that word!?

Roddy-... Miko....

Bumblebee- Primus help me

*end transmission*

Who was he calling "carrier"?

I have no idea. That sounded a lot like Hot Rod, when he was... when I had to leave him with Kup.

He is a young adult now, I believe?

Yeah. Just a little older than Star. That was... weird.

[pynkchampagne]

🖤🧡 Lestober Day 13: Share your favorite lyrics from your top five songs from Les projects of your choice. Why do you like them? Or be brave and share your favorite lyrics from five shuffled songs!

Five Shuffled Songs: Rumble of the Diesel // Tyranny of the Hunt // Iowan Gal // Harold of the Rocks // Moron TV

Expanded under the cut. ⬇️🎃

Rumble of the Diesel : Les Claypool

I like to keep it simple; it helps to keep me sane

I like floating in the ocean it nullifies the pain

Hmm, this one is harder- all the story ones are harder. Les’ songs are not often like Lana’s where I can just pick out a line like “oh this is so pretty” or “oh I relate”. Maybe I could have with my favorite songs. I picked this pair of lines because I like the imagery. This is a nice song, goes with his blue collar roots, talking about fishing albacore, which he loves to do. I like to think he’s speaking for himself here and how he finds peace on the water. Makes me want to go out on a boat. 

Tyranny of the Hunt : Colonel Claypool’s Bucket of Bernie Brains

A Petaluma man

Showed his gal a trick

He took a needle full of cocaine

And he shot it in his prick

They say he got the gangrene

The pain it wouldn't stop

And when he took a hot bath that night

His pecker floated to the top

I mean I had to include this whole section, because Les just has such a way with words, with storytelling. Lol, I think he’s funny. This is a good example of one of his humorous lyrics. Loves singing about fucked up dudes. This is the best part of the song tbh. I love when he says sex words, hehe. I wonder if he heard a story about this, scribbled it down, like ‘oh this has got to go in a song, cocaine in his dick!?’

Iowan Gal : Les Claypool

She's got a round bottom I like to spank it

She quilt me up a cashmere blanket

Pretty as a picture, happy as a clam

Pinch me and tell me how lucky I am

You may try to win her but you never will pal

My purebred, cornfed Iowan gal

Jesus this whole song makes me, like, blush. It’s about his wife, holy shit. Ughhh, of course shuffle would land on this. I mean, I have to pick the part where he talks about spanking her ass, right?? I’ve talked about it on this blog before. Talking about how much he loves her. How lucky he is and how possessive he is over her. How happy he is with her. I’m gonna cry. This whole song is so sweet…and…y’know. Damn. (Chaney signed off on one of her posts one time with something like ‘from this Iowan Girl’ and I’m sick.)

Harold of the Rocks : Primus

It was a weekend's eve

I had sex on my breath

I was looking for something to see

What are the odds of getting two songs I’ve mentioned on here before? Again, I’m picking the sex lyrics because I’m shallow. This is another story song about a guy he knew. Fucked up dudes on drugs, his favorite subject matter. This lyric is my evidence that he loves eating pussy. Okay. Thank you. Next.

Moron TV : Primus

Just when I thought I'd seen it all

They pull a cretin from the shelves

And flash that filth under their nails

To make us feel better about ourselves

First, wow, just fucking realized he’s saying “more on TV” than “Moron TV”, because I’m an idiot. He’s so clever, what nice word play. I like this lyric because of the visceral imagery. He’s got a very nice vocabulary. I like the commentary of how shitty reality TV is and how networks take advantage of vulnerable/stupid people to sell ads and shit. I like when he expresses his opinions in his work. I tend to agree with him on most things. 

[loveofbots]

I was thinkin about Red Alert and tryin to fix my writers block, Red uses She/He pronouns- reader can have any gender

Warnings: 18+, needy reader, soft and fluffy

Red Alert was out surveying hot spots on Luna-1 once again. His backstruts groaning from the strain of being bent over all day. The mech rolled her shoulders and sat down for a moment, simply taking in the quiet of the moon. Her peace was interrupted when a private comm message came through.

Y/N: I miss you

Red smiled, knowing his lover must’ve just woken up without him there. He conjured the mental image of them laying in bed all sleepy and cozy waiting for his return.

Red Alert: Good morning, Love.

The red and white bot’s spark hummed a little harder at the thought of you snuggled up into his chassis. One of these days she’d take the morning off just to stay with you.

What Red Alert didn’t know was how much you longed for him. You felt empty without your sparkmate by your side. Chewing on your derma you debated sending the next message, but your spark yearned for Red, and it couldn’t wait.

Y/N: I need you to come home, I can’t spend another klik without you here right now.

This made the mech stand up right away, sending several messages asking about your well-being and if something happened. Quickly you reassured him.

Y/N: I’m okay sweetspark, sorry for worrying you. I’m just…

Red Alert held his venting in anticipation. Were you hurt? Surely you would tell him if you were.

Y/N: I need to make love to you right now.

Suddenly a blanket of heat drenched his frame. Oh. Red felt a familiar ache in his panels and transformed into his alt mode. This time his work would wait.

Red Alert: I’ll be there in 5.

Not even that long, Red opened the door to your shared hab suite venting a little heavily. You could tell by the gentle tremble in his frame that he was feeling the same as you. Especially when he walked over and captured your derma with his making you moan into his mouth. You pulled him back into the berth with you, arms wrapping around him and tangling your legs together. With a huff you broke the kiss and began attacking his sensitive wiring around his neck and made him groan. Red Alert’s hips canted into your thigh plating to create some friction and it started to drive you wild.

“What… hah, what got into you today?” The mech gasped out when your servos groped his ass. Through bared teeth you whispered your reply.

“Needed you. It’s been much too long since I…” You were cut off by a moan that bubbled up in your throat when Red’s digits caressed the cables in your hips and thighs. “Since I made love with you.” The rest came out in a whine that nearly broke Red Alert’s resolve right then and there. The two of your started to grind against each other.

“Where… how do you want to do it?” Red could barely speak between all the kisses you shared with him. His vents sputtered when he you parted and he saw the absolute love and adoration in your optics.

“I need to be inside of you.”

………………………………………….

Red Alert’s faceplate heated up. It wasn’t like this was your first time together, but it was that hungry, carnal look you gave him with your face so close to his valve that made her shake. Your digits ghosted the base of his spike and around the soft lips of her valve. You were drinking it all in. Finally you wouldn’t wait for what you wanted, and pressed your mouth to her wet cunt. Immediately he threw his head back, bucking his hips when your servo wrapped around his spike and started to pump it up and down in tandem with your soft licks.

Primus, there was a reason he chose you. For your smarts, your reliability, and so many other things. But the best treat of it all was how lovingly you tongue fucked her valve. She never lasted very long with you. Maybe it was for the best, as your spike leaked trans fluid and valve becoming slick as well. Red’s moans became louder and louder as she neared her overload. His servos found your helm and held it gently as you continued to lap and stroke his spike. Breathily Red Alert praised you.

“Feels so good~ I love that you make me feel this way.” Swirling your tongue around her node made Red arch his back, exhaling sharply. “Primus! So close-“ A few more aggressive kisses and curling your fingers around her spike just right, Red overloaded hard. His vents came hard and heavy as he released his transfluid all over his stomach and into your mouth.

Hungrily you licked it all up, cleaning Red Alert as well. He cooed to you softly and held your cheek. You had made him overload so hard and you deserved to overload as well. He kissed you deeply, tasting himself on your derma as he flipped you over and straddled your hips. Your gentle servos guided her hips over your spike and he gently caressed your face to make you look him in the eyes while he sank down on your spike.

Your digits gripped the berth, hanging on as his valve fit your spike just right. He drew moans from you just by sitting on your hips, it was too much.

“Still with me?” He chuckled a bit and kissed your helm, servos resting on your chassis. Her voice brought you out of the mind numbing pleasure and you nodded. Albeit a bit dazed and drunk on love. Your servos grabbed at any part of him you could, trying to ground yourself. When you finally did you looked down where the two of you were connected and grew warm.

“It’s always a pleasure to see us like this.” You muttered lovingly, making Red’s spark melt. He chose the right Conjux for sure. “You can move now.”

So she did, her calipers squeezing your spike and transfluids running over your bio lights. Red enjoyed the show of ecstasy on your face while he rode you. Spike hitting every part of his valve that made him shiver. He picked up the pace and your hands found his hips. Propping yourself up on your elbow you kissed Red Alert sloppily, trying so hard to stay in one place.

“Sweetspark if you keep going like this I won’t be able to hold back much longer.” The way your digits scrapped his paint made him chuckle, teasing you by swirling his hips. “Please.” You begged. Optics screwed shut in concentration. The way your spike jerked inside Red Alert made the two of you moan together. She leaned down and your chassis pressed together, groaning to you softly.

“Show me you love me.” The words made a growl start in your throat. It was thrown out with a deep, whimpering moan. At just the right moment your arms wrapped around his body, holding Red still as you pounded up into her. Transfluid already dribbling down your spike from her valve you began to fuck yourself stupid. Watching Red take you again and again made you whine into your lovers neck. Moans turning into grunts as you fucked both of you into overload. Your transfluid spilling into his valve you couldn’t stop until his calipers milked every last drop out of you.

With one final thrust Red collapsed onto you. Leaving the two of you venting hard holding each other on the berth. While he recovered you peppered Red Alert’s face with kisses and mumbled how much you loved him. After your spike depressurized and panels slid back into place you laid your lover on her side. She smiled at you and pulled you closer again not letting you leave.

“You did great Y/N.” His arms pulled you close and your buried your face into his chest, finding comfort in Red Alert.

“Mmm, couldn’t have done it without you.” Red laughed at your joke and kissed you softly again. Her humming spark lulling you back into recharge.

Whatever you needed him for, he’d be there.

[starry-skies-116]

Personality Facts +More- Samuel Lee Witwicky (AU):

Introverted Pisces INFJ, what more can I say?

Autism, hyperphantasia, alexithymia.

The type of person to drink tea in the morning, also the type of person to prefer picnics on a spring day when the weather hits JUST right-

Also, Samuel’s def the type of person to love white chocolate sm. It’s one of his safe foods. One of his other preferred safe foods are those sour lychee candies/gummies. He actually has a whole list, in fact: among them include mac n cheese, specific sandwiches he buys from the deli, cake, fried rice, mooncakes, pancakes, bread with sprinkles and butter, REALLY well-made hot chocolate, home-cooked hotpot, potstickers, ramen, boba, california rolls, etc. Basically anything that’s warm and comforting.

He does like to eat ice cream, though- but every time he, Mikaela and Heidi go to get some he literally orders the same flavor and toppings every time (god me too).

Stomps on crunchy leaves in autumn when he thinks nobody’s looking 😗

Has way too many house plants that his mother always lets die. He never figures out why they always seemingly revive and regain their vitality near his presence until later events.

Has two or three plushies, one of which he sleeps with (and then there’s Heidi with a whole ass army of them-)

Loves to stargaze at the night sky, daydreaming about the life beyond there and fantasizing/planning obsessively over how his interactions with them will go if he were the one to make first contact (don’t tell him any spoilers now shhshshshhssh-)

Uses lots of emoticons when texting, especially ones like ‘:)’ ‘:3’ ‘:D’ ‘:(‘ and ‘<3’

Perceived as a cat person because of how mellow, non-confrontational and demure he acts, actually loves all animals (drawn to dogs to put some energy in his life because mans fr mimics behaviors similar to a cat sometimes sssshhhhh ♥️)

Typos/spelling errors frustrate him immensely, though he does his best not to show it (it doesn’t work lmao)

Mikaela and Heidi are his next-door neighbors, as well as his friends since childhood: they met when they were all five. Their friendship began to develop slowly due to many other factors in their life, but as they grew older they began to have the opportunities to spend more time together. The events of them crossing their own fates with that of the Autobots only served to make them further inseparable and strengthen their bonds. 

They literally evolve from average supportive friendship still blooming awkwardly to ‘THIS IS MY BEST BITCH. WE ARE ONE UNIT. WE RIDE OR DIE.'

Sam primarily holds the role of the ‘default brain cell holder’ in the group. In other words, he holds the brain cell that they all share.

He’s also the shortest in the friend group, even though he’s average height and the height difference is in literal centimeters to the point where it’s barely noticeable (he’s 5’3/160 cm, Mikaela is 5’6/167 cm, and Heidi is 5’4/162.6 cm)

Elusive, enigmatic, secretive and reserved. Has all the traits of a leader and is decisive, despite being rather cautious and always opting for a peaceful solution. Strives to be kinder and wiser every day, so he can finally understand and truly connect with others. Prefers to keep things to himself- always shrewd and observant around people. Exceptionally prodigious beyond his years, master strategist, scientist and leader. He’s used to learning from his mistakes and making the best of bad situations, so he often denies any kind of pain he’s in no matter how severe it is.

That, or he literally does not recognize his pain at all. It takes him at least three to five business days at minimum for him to figure out his feelings and needs if those said sensations prolong for an extended period of time. If intense emotions flare up and then vanish just a moment after, it’ll fly right underneath his identification radar.

He’s sometimes prone to dissociative episodes to escape situations that remind him of trauma. Even with the AllSpark’s/Primus’s memories, anything that remotely triggers the traumatic parts of them causes him to slip into either a meltdown or a dissociative episode because of the emotions he feels and associates with them. Even when the memories are not Samuel’s… they still mean so much to him for no reason at all.

He spent his elementary and middle school years being homeschooled, and then the first time he’s ever been enrolled in public school was his Freshman Year.

His most exceptional traits are his curiosity, his compassion, and the sheer amount of effort he puts into trying to understand and communicate with others purely out of his kindness and care for people.

Samuel is very patient- however, that patience is born out of passivity. His lack of experience in social situations with those other than his friends, as well as a period in that time of bullying and ostracization, made him afraid to stick up for himself and to state his boundaries. When he came out to his parents and asked to transition on his thirteenth birthday, he was genuinely so scared that he was about to pass out.

As a result of his lack of socializing, he has a somewhat poor grasp of social interaction. His limited emotional expression and composed, impartial demeanor comes off as a bit eccentric and distant. Due to this, he admits to needing to study human emotions and ‘regular’ human interaction more. (autistic mood)

Sam loves to make either mental or physical note of things in his head that he deems of interest. Often, surprisingly they are odd but useful details that he somehow finds a way to utilize to his advantage.

Detests conflict, and always tries to negotiate and help people via kindness and not throwing hands. Despite the love he has and gives, he doesn’t really believe that he can ever protect anyone- not in a way that makes a difference. At the end of the day, all he wants is for people to get along.

Very observant of his surroundings- too observant. He jokingly refers to it as ‘gathering intelligence’, which isn’t too far off. Sensory issues essentially force him to pay attention to each and every little detail- but Samuel always insists that it’s fine, because ‘he’s used to it’ (shit explanation my guy-)

His favorite color changes from week to week- oftentimes it’s a whole color palette instead of just one color.

His camera roll isn’t really what you’d expect from someone as quiet and reserved as him: it’s full of cursed images, memes, stimboards, selfies of important moments with his friends, pictures of school notes and his workplace environment, and pictures of his dog.

He comes from a relatively wealthy family, but from the part-time jobs that he takes, he saves up money to buy more books, as well as anything that captivates him/immediately takes his interest hostage upon first glance (like I’m not kidding, it’s legit on-sight)

Whenever he’s captivated or genuinely, truly interested or enamored with something, he reacts like a cat in response to seeing shiny things. His eyes widen and get brighter, and his pupils dilate. He does barely noticeable stims (such as fiddling with his bracelet or jade pendant), and he leans closer, shuffling his feet to approach closer and closer without even realizing it.

He loves finding interesting rocks/geodes on occasion, and secretly making DIY-at-home jewelry at his part-time mechanic job with them and the equipment at his workbench. To get away with it, he arrives early, before his shift begins. He then shares the product with those he makes (whenever he isn’t burnt out): it’s his love language, finding cool rocks and making them into ‘socially acceptable’ gifts because he fears rejection sm 💔

Literally a sci-fi nerd. Gushes over shit like Star Wars and Star Trek and all that: has written novels and drawn fan art before, and basically died inside when Mikaela and Heidi discovered his stash in the closet when he was ten (bullied for his interests because other people can be assholes sometimes). He thought they both would leave him and never want to associate with him again, turns out they spent the next hour squealing over their blorbos, writing up headcanons/theories, and finding makeshift tools to cosplay characters.

Can’t relax his mind to save his life, honestly. There’s always a bottomless pit in his mind of ‘you are not doing enough, do enough so you can relax’ but it’s never enough. Whenever he’s restless, he fiddles with his clay bead bracelet or his jade pendant so that he doesn’t let his mind wander or race to places he doesn’t want it to go.

Low self-esteem, beats himself up for every mishap and mistake- (RSD guys, it sucks major ass-). Still has the occasional intrusive thought that nobody actually loves him, they just tolerate/ ‘put up with’ him, due to his childhood of being somewhat sheltered and socially ostracized by literally every kid except for his only two friends.

Even when he deadass has not only two friends, but a federal agent, the lead researcher of N.E.S.T, and a WHOLE GIANT FCKIN ROBOT ALIEN ARMY ready to straight commit WAR-CRIMES FRESH FROM THE OVEN FOR HIM at a MOMENT’S notice-

Dances as a hobby, loves to sketch scenery. He visits the city’s theater every other Saturday to greet and play with the kids living around that area who also come to visit. Community and connection is important to him, since he was deprived of several life experiences in his childhood.

As smart as he is, he desires nothing more than to learn with hands-on experience. He’s spent the entirety of his sheltered upbringing learning from books.

Literal GOD in the kitchen. He spent his entire childhood being somewhat sheltered, so he’s developed quite the pantheon of hobbies that he revolves his day around in his pastime. Baking sweets for others particularly makes him happy.

Living in symbiosis with the AllSpark embedded in your literal heart is… an experience, to say the least. Nevertheless, he finds a way to navigate the experience with the help of his family and friends.

Has a brotherly relationship with Bumblebee and it’s seriously one of the most wholesome things ever. Like seriously, when he called Bumblebee “gēge” on accident (“older/big brother” in Chinese), Bro just… had to physically resist the urge to straight up curl into a fetal position on the floor and cry pure joy. Mans was straight grinning from pure elation from one side of his visor to the other once he used his translators and realized what it meant-

Literally, Autobots like Ratchet and Optimus and Ironhide, etc etc… they will literally take ONE look at this guy watching the beat of a butterfly’s wings or something and immediately go: “mmmm yes he is very much son-shaped”

He can’t really read tone or social cues, ESPECIALLY when it comes to being directed at him. Whenever Jazz is being sarcastic or makes jokes that he can’t recognize the tone of, Samuel becomes so genuinely confused. And speaking of that, one of his habits when he’s confused and/or straining his mind to try and understand something, is to tilt his head and cross his arms with a finger raised to his lips to tap against it. Once again, it’s one of his stims that pops up when he’s trying really hard to discern an answer, or a proper way to navigate an unfamiliar situation with little clues.

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #36 — There Are So Many Double-Page Spreads in This Issue, Dear Lord

Four million years ago, before the war, a very special something happened.

That’s right, it’s baby time once again.

Of course, Cybertronians can’t be normal about shit like this, so there’s a brawl going down over who gets custody of all these sparks. Star players include Orion Pax, Roller, Roller’s juice box, and all those college students from the Matrix heist. They’re facing off against the elite guard, who are getting their asses handed to them for what’s probably the eighth time this week.

Christ alive, Windcharger, save the dismemberment for the war, will ya?

Roller jumps off a cliff and transforms, because he’s a cool dude like that, when he suddenly he complains of lumbago. Is he suddenly feeling his age? No, he’s just had eight grown-ass robots timewarp onto his trailer.

Oh shit, Rung’s got his stick! Brainstorm’s about to fuckin’ die.

Back in what is the “present” for MTMTE, Rodimus gives his Time Travel Team (fellas who have compatible spark-types to run the timecase) the skinny on what the plan is: go back to the past, find Brainstorm, beat him up for trying to rewrite time, then be back in time for dinner. Perceptor adds that if Brainstorm isn’t stopped, their current timeline will cease to be, which is a bit of a problem, needless to say. Everyone is pretty high-strung about this situation, save for Tailgate, who’s decided it’s time to get an impromptu piggyback ride from Rewind.

The timecase has geotracking, which is damn convenient for the TTT, but Perceptor’s having a spot of trouble getting the thing calibrated, so things are sort of vague at the moment. Rodimus theorizes that Brainstorm will be targeting Orion Pax, as was established last issue, so they ought to figure out where he is whenever they end up in time. Luckily, Rewind was Orion’s biographer, and knows where they need to be for this first jump.

The gang has a few minutes to pick out some very dangerous toys from Brainstorm’s private collection, something which greatly delights Whirl. Ultra Magnus can’t help but wonder if bringing Whirl along is such a hot idea, but having the incredibly violent, actively suicidal guy tag along is actually part of the plan.

Horrific.

Anyway.

There’s a few rules for this trip: don’t tell anyone you’re from the future, don’t mess with major events, and don’t kill anyone who isn’t Brainstorm. Chromedome’s coming on this excursion to act as white-out, should someone decide to get a little too chatty. They also have a sci-fi bullshit “time phone” to call the Lost Light with, so they can be updated and potentially call for extraction if needed.

Everyone got that? Sure hope so, because it’s time to get back to the start of the issue!

Rodimus basically immediately blows their cover, telling Orion that he’s an Autobot… which is a group that doesn’t technically exist yet. Chromedome and Whirl are also causing some issues just by being there, seeing as Chromedome is still a cop in this moment in time, and Whirl’s in fucking prison. Luckily, assumptions are made, and the TTT can masquerade as the reinforcements Zeta Prime was messaged about.

The gang is taken to the ramshackle base Orion and pals have scraped together, as they get the low-down on this Hot Spot situation— turns out that this is the first one to pop up in a million years, and the Senate’s been keeping it under wraps, in an attempt to keep Functionists from claiming the hand-shaped Hot Spot as proof of Primus being real. We get a taste of Skids’s religious phase, and then Cyclonus points out that there’s something floating menacingly in the sky above them. Nobody’s really sure what it is, but surely it can’t be good.

Anyway, here’s Trailcutter.

Excuse me, Trailbreaker.

With Trailbreaker up from his nap, Orion tells everyone to takes turns using the recharge slab— they only have one, my goodness— and to get to know each other, while there’s enough free time to do so. Rodimus takes this to heart, getting just a touch too handsy with Trailbreaker, who at this point has zero clue who he fucking is. Rung, meanwhile, accidentally gets high on Roller’s special cocaine juice, while Roller has a moment of insecurity over the fact that he’s not an Outlier, and just a plain ol’ One-Percenter. As if that isn’t also rare as hell, by literal definition.

This is when the Time Phone rings, and Orion Pax picks up— that’s right, our glorious co-captain of the Lost Light and leader of this time mission left his secret mission phone where just anyone could pick it up. Anyway, Orion picks up, and who should be on the other end of the line but Megatron himself. Megatron, instead of telling Orion to put Rodimus on the phone, stays on to chat with his once and future nemesis, while Magnus and Perceptor work in the background, having to just listen to this conversation. Megatron worries that his experience on Messatine— the one with Trepan— might have fucked with his brain, perhaps changing him from who he had been prior. Still, he can’t really change what’s happened, only reflect and regret. Orion acts like a centrist, despite admitting that the system Cybertron lives under is a nightmare hellscape. Megatron tells him that he’ll end up joining Orion’s team eventually.

Over with Rodimus, it seems as if rules were meant to be broken, as he’s just told Trailbreaker to stay away from Ofsted XVII, the planet where he died horrifically while trying to be a decent person. Trailbreaker doesn’t really get it, but agrees to do as he’s told, even if it won’t be relevant to him for several million years. Orion finally brings the phone to Rodimus, then gives a recommendation to his book club.

I’m sure this won’t have any negative repercussions in the future.

Megatron isn’t nearly as cordial with Rodimus, demanding to know what the hell’s going on. Obviously, Brainstorm hasn’t been found yet. There’s also this weird radiation drifting into the Lost Light from the past, which is weird.

Hey, wait a minute—

The science team back home does some scans, and we finally figure out what the deal is with that weird thing in the sky: it’s shooting radiation at the Hot Spot. To kill the sparks? Perhaps. However, Rewind has an alternative take— that this is all a big experiment, trying to create Outliers through scientific intervention, and that it’s not going to work, but instead just kill these sparks, and if one day the Functionists take power back and uncover all these positively heinous experiments the Senate is conducting, well, that’ll just give them way more credibility than they’d otherwise have. At least the Functionists aren’t doing baby-murder experiments, am I right?

If this sounds like he’s just a smidge too sure about this hypothesis, it’s because he’s actually pulling from his database, which is just chock-full of alternate history at this point.

Regardless of what exactly the purpose of the radiation is, it’s clear that it needs to be dealt with. Orion orders Trailbreaker to make the biggest force field he can to protect the sparks. Cyclonus says a prayer. Tailgate plants his ass on the ground full of sparks.

The thing in the sky doesn’t like any of this shit, and begins to fire on the group. Glitch is too far away to reach the thing and use his machine-breaker powers, so it’s time to call in the air force.

While the fly boys handle the barrage to the best of their ability, Roller decides to be a hero, by way of taking the spark-teleporter out into the danger zone, so he can get those bad babies to a safer spot. Orion tries to do it for him, but Roller “needs this,” to prove he’s just as good as the rest of the team.

Hey, Rung? I think this guy might be needing your services, homeslice.

While all this is happening, Rodimus gets a call from home base, telling him that Brainstorm’s jumped again, and they’re about to get sent after him. Rodimus demands a few more minutes, seeing as shit has really hit the fan. He finds Chromedome in this shitshow to tell him to not wipe Trailbreaker’s memories, so that he might live.

Roller gets shot, and Orion decides that it’s his turn to be a hero now. He orders Trailbreaker to tighten the forcefield until it’s only surrounding Orion, then has Windcharger toss him through the sky platform. It explodes, and Tailgate develops a minor crush.

Good thing Cyclonus isn’t in earshot.

And so the day is saved, the sparks are sent to Nyon— something which seems to shock Rodimus, as the man who blew up/will one day blow up that city— and Chromedome says his goodbyes, shaking hands with Orion and his crew, thus wiping their memories of the last couple of hours with his mnemo-hand upgrade.

Just as Perceptor whooshes them away, however, Trailbreaker comes up and shakes Chromedome’s hand, much to Rodimus’s horror and everyone else’s dismay. With that, his fate is sealed, and the Time Travel Team is taken to their next stop. Orion and his team forget about what’s happened, thus making it impossible to figure out where Roller disappeared to. And so it was, and so it shall be.

Not the time, Trailbreaker! Not the time.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

Glad to see that you’re alive (again) after tumblr tried to kill you (again). What I was GONNA say before tumblr tried to slice you a second time was ‘oh if only it weren’t 1am, we could’ve gotten some saucy Blades/Dreadwing action’.

I guess ‘oh if only tumblr didn’t have it out for your ass’ fits a lot better now, haha-!

For you, dot, and in celebration of my immortality- imma give yall saucy Dreadwing and Blades (I need a ship name for them tbh)

And Primus he was so ready. Ready to get destroyed by such a big, handsome stud of a mech. A baddy decepticon with an even badder body- poor Blades couldn’t tell him he DIDN’T want this. Not when he looked at him with such imposing optics, not when his frame was hot and dripping wet- he was something straight out of a wet dream. He just had to give him a yes. He wanted to say something super hot, like ‘I can play just as dirty as a con’ or ‘now you get to see what my fingers can do’. What happened instead, was Blade nodding furiously, biting his bottom lip in shyness. Dreadwing chuckled, holding onto Blade’s chin in his own razor sharp claws.

“Primus, you’re a cute little thing. They would eat you up over at Caminus. Just how I’m going to.”

Dreadwing pressed his lips against his, and Blades really let himself enjoy it this time. It was deep, it was firm, it was hungry. Blades waited till those lips pulled away, only to have them trickle down his neck. Blades tried not to yelp once Dreadwing grabbed him by his thighs, wrapping his legs around that THICK waist.

“Oh sweet Primus-you jets like to take things fast, don’t you?”

“Only because I like you, VERY much. I CAN take things slow, if you prefer. I could sit here and taunt you till the sun rises, before claiming you. I bet I could make all sorts of sounds from you.”

Blades felt his sharp, giant teeth scrape against his metal. He was about to tell him no, mainly because he JUST got waxed, but it was too late. Dreadwing had chomped down onto his neck, the spot RIGHT under his audial. It hurt. But somehow, it felt SO good. Maybe it was because he was excited, maybe because Dreadwing had an idea of what he was doing. Either way, it made Blade moan so loudly, he had to bury his face in his hand in SOME attempt to keep his composure. Keep it cool, Blades.

“Actually plowing me would be great. Like, now.”

Smooth. Just, smooth, Blades. Dreadwing chuckled, starting to slowly move his hips into him, and Blades swore he was going to overload right then and there. He knew that spike was big, he KNEW it was.

“Are you sure? I like the idea of a young, pretty mech like you waiting till you’re begging.”

“You...think I’m pretty?”

Dreadwing met his optics, and his face seemed a bit flush.

“I...do. You’re quite fetching. I like your colors, your voice is nice, and I do really enjoy looking at you. I’m sorry, is that too much? I’ve been told I’m a bit...serious. I do not want to overwh-”

Blades grabbed him by his horns, bringing his face right up to his with surprising strength.

“You BETTER overwhelm me and POUND me, I swear to Primus.”

Dreadwing blinked at him, clearly not expecting that. Blades was about to apologize, realizing that damn near sounded aggressive, when Dreadwing laughed. His grip grew tighter, and his shining teeth revealed Blade’s reflection.

“My, you have a BIT of bite in you, autobot? Alright, I know when to obey a command~”

He wanted to say sorry, somehow thinking he had put Dreadwing off, when he felt it. Dreadwing’s actual spike was pressed right up against him, hard, slick with interface fluids. It was huge. Thick. It was a damn weapon. A pretty weapon at that, blinking with pretty red biolights underneath the still hot water. And Blades wanted it SO badly. He hesitated for a second, debating whether or not it would kill him, when he decided it was absolutely worth the risk. He leaned down, exposing his valve. The bubbling water felt good against it, as if it was helping him get ready for this huge decepticon cock. Blades reached for the spike, rubbing the tip against him. They both wanted this, the time was just right.

“I’m g-gonna push it in-”

Dreadwing nudged his helm with his own, slightly frowning.

“If, for a moment, you do not want this, speak up. I will stop. I want more than to just frag you. I want this to be pleasant, much like our messages.”

Blades was just. swooning.

“That’s...sweet. Really. I’ll keep that in mind. But we still get to frag, right?”

“Oh absolutely.”

That was enough for Blades. He guided it past his folds. The head alone was enough for him to feel himself get stretched, and as much as Blades tried to fight it, he didn’t push it all the way in himself.

“I...I want you to take it from here. I want you to use this body of yours,”

Blades ran his small hands up his frame, getting SUCH an ego boost from the way Dreadwing seemed to shake under his touch. He even heard just a LITTLE swear come from his lips when he brushed against his underarms, right before they wrapped around his neck.

“And take me. I’ve wanted this for SO long, If I go for another second, I might just die, and you decepticons aren’t THAT mean!”

Dreadwing shook his helm a bit, clearly amused.

“As have I, Blades. As have I.”

Dreadwing held up his gentlemenly disposition for a while, but now, there was no room for that. Not when he pushed himself in further, right to the base- and started to properly frag him. Blades loved how those big, thick thighs were used to push that spike into him- it was better than any toy he had back at home.

“S-shit Dreadwing, you’re fucking HUGE!-”

Everything about him was. His frame, his spike, those fangs of his. Dreadwing took those teeth and sank them right into his bust, cracking the metal underneath him. It was terrifying, how he could easily rip him apart. And Blades LOVED it. He didn’t care how slutty his sounds were. He just wanted more, NEEDED more.

“And you’re so small and precious. I’m so tempted to take you with me. I frag you every night, I could cherish you like a pet. Would you like that, kitten?”

“Oh you BASTARD!~”

Blades hated how he cooed that name for him. Hated how that spike was dominating him, how he felt like this man would tear through his hide in order to reach his spike. He hated that overloaded almost immediately after he said that, head tossed back against the rocks behind him. Dreadwing was a sweetheart, stopping when he realized his little partner was trembling and steaming.

“I take it ‘kitten’ is a name I should keep?”

“I. W-wouldn’t complain. Ha, I can’t feel my legs, ooh my god.”

“Should I take you home?”

Blades lifted his head up, jabbing his servos into his chest.

“Oh NO you don’t, YOU’RE still hard as Ironhide, It’s YOUR turn. You know what here, hold my bowtie, I don’t wanna get it messy, it’s my good one.”

Dreadwing watched as Blades took off his tie, putting it in his hand. He tried not to be too amused as Blades was suddenly full of energy, getting out of his arms and circling him like a hungry dog. Dreadwing looked over at the piece of cloth, brow raised.

“Am I just supposed to hold it?”

“I dunno, put it on or something.”

Dreadwing tried to put it on, only, it was FAR too small. He just left it as it was, trying not to be amused. He looked for Blades, when he felt his hands run down his back.

“What are you planning, autobot?”

“shhhhh. Don’t disrupt the creative flow.”

He felt the autobot reach over, and sink his teeth right into his wing. So small, like little needles. Dreadwing chuckled, lifting his arm up in order to watch him. Blades was so enamored with his frame, letting his hands wander his frame, his teeth grazing down his wing. It was...almost romantic, honestly. 

“And how is this supposed to help me overload?”

“Oh this is for me. I saw that wingspan in that one pic you’ve sent me, I’ve wanted to do that for weeks. But I DID promise you an overload, so I GUESS I can do that other thing I wanted.”

“What other-”

He jumped a bit when Blade’s leaned up and pecked at his armpit. Oh, such a soft set of lips on such a tender, vulnerable spot. He wished he kept him there, but when Blades moved in front of him, in order to push Dreadwing to lay back, in order to get to his spike. Blades was now standing there, a propped up Dreadwing in his arms, head of his spike in his mouth, and his optics focused right on him.

“I...oh Primus it’s been a while since I’ve had this, If I’m going to be honest.”

Blades seemed to take that as a sign to do more, engulfing his spike till a bulge formed in his intake. Dreadwing placed a clawed hand on his helm, carefully guiding him back and forth. He resisted the urge to toss his helm back, for the sake of looking at those optics. They were so wanting, looking at him with such longing and arousal. When was the last time a mech looked at him like that? When was the last time a cute mech wrapped their soft lips around his spike, struggling to fit all of him inside, motivated purely for his satisfaction.

“I like this about you, Blades. Your mouth. It makes such pretty sounds for me. I know this is crude, but...I’ve thought about this often. I’ve thought about all your oral fluid dripping down my spike, I’ve thought about you gagging on me, I’ve thought about you swallowing it ALL.”

He pushed his helm down further, and let it pump right into his adorable little date. His claws scratched at the rocks next to him, but his touch was ever gentle on his Blades. He waited until he was finished, before he pulled Blades away. Overload dripped down his open, panting lips, and he panted something fierce. He gave Blades a moment before he wiped it from his lips, sucking off the residue.

“Primus sakes...next time, you should try to fit it all in there, you could REALLY gag me.”

“I get another date?”

“Yes. Absolutely. Primus you do.”

Blades let his chin rest on Dreadwing’s chest, melting as those sharp claws scratched at his chin.

“Good. I very much enjoyed my time with kitten.”

“Call me that again, and I can’t be responsible for what I do next.”

Dreadwing smirked, pinching his adorable face.

“Kitten looks just terrifying when he looks at me like that~”

“Oh that is IT, I’m gonna teach you a lesson, decepticon! You hear me?!”

Blades pointed a finger at him, trying to be imposing. Dreadwing held his hand, and kissed it, as sweetly as he could.

“I’ve been a bad, decepticon. Punish me as you see fit, my autobot~”

Dreadwing could tell he was NOT going to bring him back home anytime soon.