#he’s an ass but MY PRIMUS is he hot

[001-mirage]

The more I look at him the more I fall in love with him.

Help.

[teojira]

I saw that you had transformers on your fandom list, will you be willing to write a 'bot of choice x human reader jealousy/protectiveness fic? Like in that one scene from Transformers 2 where the Deception Pretender tried to seduce Sam but Bee absolutely wasn't having that but had to stay in car mode?

[Aren't you supposed to be more mature than this?]

Summary: Optimus knows better than to get attached to you (too late), he can't help but side eye you and a stranger interacting. (Based on Knightverse Optimus, after ROTB!)

Word count: 800+ words!

Pronouns: They/them

Warnings: Optimus is bad at feelings, Optimus being down bad, extremely self indulgent. Mainly Optimus' Pov as well! Lmk if I need to tag anything!

A/N: Everyone who knows me knows of my obsession and love for this man it's so bad, I have him tattooed and have a whole ass shrine I love HIMMM, Thank you sm for the request! He is the love of my life.

Optimus Prime has been called many things, many of which are true, things he'd accept with pride.

A great leader, a good friend, a valuable teammate, A war criminal.

A jealous bot was never one of them, until recently.

He wasn't sure when he started to take a shine towards you. Was it after Unicron? When he held you in his servos, cradling you to his chest as he transformed back into his bipedal form, only letting go of you after the confused looks from Bee and Mirage.

Maybe it was a while after that, when you offered to help clean him up, Noah was too busy rebuilding Mirage to offer his services to the big man himself.

Optimus could never wipe the feeling of your small hands gently running across his frame, taking extra care to mend any scratches you found, constantly checking in to make sure he was comfortable.

He's ashamed to admit, but he kept shuddering under your touch, his senses overwhelmed by your presence. Every time his cooling fans turned on, he'd wave it off as it was just hot outside. (it's 60 degrees out, liar.)

He tries to recharge that night, but the feeling in his chassis makes him restless. He can see his sensors go haywire at the mere thought of you. He is so fucked, he shuts his eyes and groans deeply, his mask shooting up to mask the sound, lest he wakes the others.

Primus help him.

With his new revelation, Optimus tries his best to distance himself towards you, always making excuses as to why he can't drive you home or to work (a flicker of jealously when Arcee offers, no one catches his digits curling ever so slightly into his palm), saying he must go on patrol for the time being. He waves you off when you try and care for him, asking if he'd like any help with any scrapes and dents, saying he can live with them, he's been through worse.

Its only natural that you'd give him some space, that's the kind of person you are, kind, loving, respectful, loyal to a fault, but it doesn't escape his notice when your smile falls after he politely tells you you're not needed, his spark aching when you turn around to go find another bot.

Optimus watches you now, stationed on the street.

He has no right to be upset when you're stopped outside of the garage by an older man, the man so clearly taking interest in you while you're very politely listening and nodding, shooting that oh so pretty smile to a man who he's sure is not fit to be anywhere near you, not worthy of the warm smile you wear.

It makes him seethe in jealousy, and it's scary.

He can not remember a time when he had ever been jealous. He's a prime. He was supposed to be a calm and collected leader and yet. And yet, he's so close to blowing his hor-

You suddenly whirl towards him. If he was any better of a man, he wouldn't immediately think of how cute you looked, how your lips moved as you let out a yelp.

It isn't until that thought passes his mind that he realizes he used his truckers horn. Embarrassment trickles through his body, although now he has your attention, and you are making your way towards him. The man following behind you keeps the conversation going, not catching a hint.

Optimus is ready to honk again, especially if this man keeps following so close behind you, way too close for comfort.

You beat him to it, turning around as you rest a hand on Optimus’ cabins door handle, shooting the man a polite smile.

“Sorry about that, but my husband is actually here to pick me up, so I have to go. Have a good day!” And You hoist yourself up, quickly buckling your seat belt, gently patting the dashboard in hopes Optimus fucking drives before you're bothered anymore.

Optimus’ processor buffers, his engine revving as he goes on autopilot to tale you both away. Does he know where to drive to? Certainly no, but you're with him now. He's sure you could ask him to take you to distant planets, and he'd make it work for you and only you.

“Thank you for the save, big guy.” You smile brightly at his steering wheel, your eyes lovingly trailing across the autobot symbol that sits in the center.

“It was nothing, I am glad to be there to assist.” The cabin rumbles with his voice, soothing your anxiety. You curl into your seat, resting your head.

“Where are we going?”

“If I'm not mistaken, you mentioned wanting to go to upstate New York to drive along some scenic routes? I'll gladly be your escort.”

He is so ridiculously falling for you, but he can't bring himself to hate it, especially when you excitedly hop in your seat.

ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ᴠᴇʀʏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ꜰᴏʀ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇᴀʀ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴏᴏɴ!

[tinydefector]

so often I keep thinking every night about a bot not moving their hips but can retract up and down their spike like that one diIdo machine so imagine their human sit on their spike,squirming and in ecstacy, while the bot lay still yet their spike moving wildly too augh

I don't know why I found this so funny.

But I'm positive there would be some sort of Spike mod they could get that works like that. All I can imagine is them being an absolute ass deciding to torment their human lover by using the speed, keeping it a nice pace but slowly it down when their lover, coming to a complete still while just smiling and teasing as their human lover as they nearly sob on their spike, begging and pleading for the cybertronian to pick up the pace and continue. The bots I can very much see being a tease are Sideswipe, Rodimus, Starscream, Swerve, Jazz, occasional Prowl when he's feeling rather moody.

Swerve shoots his little lover a large grin, "you look good like this sunshine," he teased while holding their hips in place. A whine leaves their lips as they shoot him a look. "Swerve, please!" They huff only for him to make a small noise of disapproval. "Ah ah, ask nicely Sparklet, you'll get what you want if you ask nicely"

Starscream sitting there smugly watching the way they take his spike as he sits there, his spike moving quickly as he rest his face in his palm. "Well, look at you, moaning like you were made for this this, my little blissed out toy" he coos, optics twinkling in delight as he watches each twitch and movement.

Sideswipe chuckles in amusement. "Awww, come on, I thought you could take more than that sweetspark." he slowly pulls them further down on his spike as it pistons up into his lover. His servo curled around their side, admiring the way his spike shifts and is visible through their smaller frame. "Mmm, that's it, sweetspark, so good"

Rodimus lays there with a stupid grin on his face as he watches the way they scold at him, "Rodimus I swear to God or primus or what ever holy creature you believe in if you don't start moving I'm leaving" they huff out only for him to start giggling to himself before slowly increasing the pace. "Roddy! Stop being a dick. " His optics continue watching. "Oh, come on, let me enjoy testing the new mods," he whines with a pout on his face.

Jazz is flirting the whole time. He's gentle, slow as he works his lover open on his spike, loving to watch the way they arch and lean into his touch. "Ain't you something cher, you make such pretty noises for me," he hums in delight as he leans up to steal a kiss from them. "Thatz it, babydoll squeeze me real good," he coos in delight while picking up the pace.

Prowl sits in his office with his human practical glued to his lap, one servo rested on their thigh, and his optics occasionally flick from his work to them. "I told you to behave. If you can't sit still, I stop," he grumbles. A deep whine and sob leaves his lover, their legs shake as their head is thrown back into his plating,

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[brobotsbro]

just watched transformers one!!! lil corny but very good. Spoilers spoilers spoilers!!!!!!

Steve Buschemi did a great job as Starscream and OooohHHhh my GOD they gave an in universe reason why his voice is Like That I love it. All of us saying there's no point unless he sounds like he's gargling TV static, we are vindicated

SO MANY REFERENCES

My "chaotic dumbass at heart Orion Pax" ass is feasting with this movie. Truly he was just a Guy

Tbh I'm with D-16 tho!! TEAR THE BITCH APART

Alpha Trion kinda hot tho 👀👀

Me and my brother said (this didn't happen unfortunately) but when Orion was getting the matrix they should have had Primus himself say a line and have it be Peter Cullen. We would have been on our feet screaming

I'm glad they didn't actually confirm something concrete about Elita and Orion. I'm down with it but I felt it would have been forced at that point, with the characterization thus far

THEY GAVE SOUNDWAVE AND SHOCKWAVE A BREAST REDUCTION 😔😔😔

All the voice actors did great!!!!!

I feel like the decepticons are very sympathetic in this. Up until The Moment, I was with Megatron. He just had a heated gamer moment bro!!!!

Cybertron was beautiful!

LOVED the first time transforming mishaps. Robot puberty lol

They pronounced Quintesson "quin-tah-saahn"???? Me and my brother always pronounced it "quin-tess-uhn"

Megatron really shouldn't have been able to beat up Starscream like that tho, homeboy just learned to transform ten minutes ago and he's beating The Leader of The Old Guard????? Who is head and shoulders taller than him???? Bruh

Loved it!!!!!

[skylarkking]

Can you do NSFW headcanons of the Cyberverse Autobots?

I am so sorry this took forever to answer due to the sheer number of characters that are featured in cyberverse. So, I'm gonna keep it to the ones we see the most.

Starting off we have Bumblebee

He's a sweetheart and I imagine him being goofy during interface

Like he'll be railing into his partner only to suddenly crack a joke that has both of them laughing

He's a ray of sunshine and I think that translates into how he bangs

Sappy happy mushy gushy lovey dovey baby boy

Next on the list is Windblade

Lesbian lesbian LES-BI-AN!

I ship her and Chromia so God damn hard

I mean, have you seen how those two look at eachother? If they aren't fucking then may Primus smite me!

Windblade tops, I don't make the rules

Side note: Chromia gives me Bisexual vibes

We can't forget Grimlock now!

I can picture him having dirty talk only to get distracted by one of his adventure stories

He and Arcee are definitely smashing

Grimlock has to be gagged so his chatty aft can pay attention

Surprisingly good at fingering

May or may not have a collection of toys he uses on himself

Sometimes accidently roars when he overloads

Up next is Cheetor

He and Bumblebee tried to bang once but Cheetor got too nervous about it

I mean, dude is about as innocent as it comes

But he had been caught jerking off before

Poor Drift/Deadlock learned not to sneak into habsuites

Now for our big boi Optimus

He is actually a shy banger because he's so use to being the face of the autobots

Once someone does get him to relax he turns from Optimus to Slutimus

Man loves BJs

He has smashed Megatron on more than one occasion during the war

Hell they smashed when cybertron was divided as well

Ah, now we come to Perceptor

This smart-ass knows what he's doing

Despite being blinded he knows EXACTLY where to touch to have his berthmate (usually Dead-end) keening and begging for more

How does he do this you may ask? He fuckin uses SCIENCE! SCIENCE!!

Now we come to my favorite of the group, the one, the only, Hot Rod

Due to his fire abilities, he tends to go into heat way more often than the others

His cocky attitude is always snuffed when hes put back into his place

Most of the time it was Soundwave who ends up fragging him silly

Those two have an enemies to lovers thing and I won't elaborate

[ikkosu]

Last one for you captain before I go off to bed 🫡.

Imagine you get pulled over, fully expecting it to be a normal traffic stop, nope, it’s prowl; he uses his holoform to arrest you blah blah blah. You’ve been kidnapped by him, and you’re in a secluded location and his holoforms materialized in the back of the car with you toying with your pants telling you how much he loves you and how long he’s been watching you.

💥🔥🔥🔥🔥HOW DO YOU KNOW IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS EXACT SAME SCENARIO COMPO💥🔥💥

But oh my gosh his holoform,,,HOT BUFF COP. he wouldn't be as buff as fortmax, but he's defn not as twinky as Roddy either. He's, like, the the in-between of the both of them with decent amount of muscles dear god (let me nuzzle your belly sir) 🛐🛐 I've headcanon my prowl Holo as sekingar because GYATT sir

ANYWHOO

prowl in his cop uniform 🛐 black sunglasses, and rolled up sleeved while you're on his lap, back against his chest.

While he's toying your pants , palming and kneading the sensitive spots that makes you whimper, he's breathing heavily, the crook of his nose is a soft nestle against the nape of your neck. And his lips suckle on the flesh, rolling it between his teeth as he murmers how good you smell.

And he talks about how you should use stop using the last bodywash you had on last week, keep using the recent one because its better.

The one that smelled like lavender. And, when you're silent with the dreadful prospect of how the fuck does he know that

Prowl just chuckles, "I know everything. Everything about you, you don't even know."

And soon, everything clicks together.

The missing undergarments. Your missing shirt. The strange cop car parking at the most unethical places you coincidentally always come across.

Worse, you remember meeting him once. And, you remember brushing off his darkly lit eyes and locked jaw when you're talking about a friend or anyone else in particular.

"Primus you're perfect. I want every inch of of that body."

His love bomb rant is occasionally interrupted by a groan as you squirm on his lap. The iron grip across your waist makes your ass rub against his very much hardened crotch when you move.

And Prowl feels it. His neck muscles strain when he grunts. Even if it's a holographic extension of his body, he feels it fervently and bucks his hips up for friction and you whimper.

Now, he's ranting in your ear. About his sleepless nights when his hands would glide up the slick shaft of his spike. About how your lips would feel so good against his member, throat gagging, milking down his transfluid.

"You don't know how many times I've hold back from breaking down that fucking window of yours, pipsqeak."

You live on the 13th floor.

And the only window across your bedroom balcony, is an abandoned building:'s. You suddenly remember the daunting feeling of spotting a shadow looming in that gaping hole. Blue flaring lights, dimming and skimming.

"Don't think you can hide from me."

[uselessmicrowave]

kinktober day eight

breakdown x reader

tws/content- alt mode sex, casual, public (forest), praise, playful banter, masc reader, afab reader, mentions of kobd x reader, object insertion, sticky ibterfacing

“Breakdown, I’ll get your interior all messy.”

“C’mon, you know I like a little mess.” you can hear the smirk in his tone. “I’m not K.O., and we’ll clean up after.”

“Alright, you’ve convinced me.” you tease, kissing the top of his steering wheel. You instruct him, fiddling with the zipper on your pants. “Need to drive into the forest though, so people don’t see.”

You nearly get thrown into the dashboard because of how quickly he’d reversed. You yelp as Breakdown quickly apologizes. “Sorry!”

“It’s fine, I know how impatient you get-”

“Oh hush, you.” he teases back, stopping and parking when he could no longer see the lights from the drive-in movie theater screen. There’s only the light from his bio lights, faint blue and orange beams illuminate your body. “Never mind, be as loud as you want to.”

You giggle, slipping your pants and boxers off, swinging a leg over to the passenger’s seat. You’re sat on his middle console, now tugging at your shirt. You don’t really care about your fluids getting on the leathery material.

“Primus, you’re so hot…” Breakdown murmurs, the bio lights glowing brighter. Arousal starts to throb and gather between your legs. “Wish you could fit on my spike.”

“I know big boy, I wish I could too.” you swipe two fingers over your tongue, gathering spit and slathering the lubricant onto his gear shift.

“Think you’ll even fit on that? Looks kind of big for you, baby.”

“I can take it.” you take more spit from your tongue, gently rubbing in between your thighs. “I think.”

“Just be gentle with yourself.” you move forward a bit, Breakdown adjusts the seats so that you’ll still be on your knees. His yellow bio lighting illuminates your soft body as you position yourself over the gear shift. It’s cold against your entrance, rubbing the blunt object against yourself makes you gasp. As you lower your hips, you place your hands on his dash board. “Just like that, hm handsome?”

“Hnn… Oh!” you whine, dropping down onto the object. The stretch stings, but the thickness of it presses against a sensitive place inside you.

“Careful, baby.” his voice sends vibrations through his interior, making you see stars and grind down. You moan, sliding all the way down onto the gear shift, your ass against the center console.

You give a careful bounce, whining when the object nudges a sensitive bundle of nerves. Breakdown makes a small, sweet sound when you squeeze and squirm on the object.

“Breakdown…?” you quietly prompt, almost not heard over the blasting air of his cooling system.

“Huh?” he seems flustered.

“You okay, big guy?” you ask with a smirk.

“Mmhm.” he responds shakily, voice tinted by crackling static. His bio lights flicker as he speaks.

“You seem really quiet now, what happened, Breaky?” you rub at his dash, smiling wider and giving him another experimental bounce.

“Nothing… It’s all good, keep going. Please.” he mumbles out quickly, engine rumbling with excitement.

“If you say so…” you give him another slow, gentle bounce, biting your lip to stay silent. Instead of you moaning, it’s him letting out a breathy whine. You smile, about to tease him again when he revs his engine again, the vibrations rattle through your core, making you moan and jump on the object.

“Hn!” Breakdown gasps, revving again. You give him a toothy grin, squeezing and bouncing to make him moan. “Y/n!”

You chuckle, rocking back and forth on his gear shift, his bio lights on his dash flash erratically, he makes the cutest most desperate and adorable noises…

“Ohh…” he gasps, sending more vibrations straight into your body, massaging all of the delicate nerves inside you.

“I didn’t know you could feel that, big boy…” you strain, bouncing again. Breakdown hums, making you squeeze on him. He doesn’t seem to notice your words, only focused on how you look and the sounds you make when you’re on him.

The hotness in the bottom of your stomach becomes more and more noticeable, more easily stirred when Breakdown groans and sends the shaky feelings right into you.

“Primus, that’s… so good…” he whines, stirring up the warmth as you get closer and closer to your edge. Your fluids have dripped down into his cup holders, smearing on your thighs to the leathery seating. “Mmn!”

His increase in noises and responses to your movements skyrockets, he whimpers at every thrust, and he, you think, overloads before you. You can hear his internal systems working overtime, Breakdown becoming more and more vocal before he groans loud and long, quieting to little whimpers as you’re finishing too.

You catch your breath before even thinking of saying anything. “Do you have anything to clean up…?”

“Scrap…”

[witchofthesouls]

Tbh Star Saber’s reaction is justified. Sentinel just claims this random bot as a bride (probably doesn’t even know their name too) I’d be miffed too if I was his protector. But what about said bot’s reaction? You wake up after passing out and suddenly your hitched, I’d be backing up Star Saber in the background as he yells at Sentinel.

(You're going to be busy trying to deal with alien biology to start yelling. If anything you're yelling at whatever drop-kicked you into this timeline that's the dumpster fire that makes up Bayverse.

Get ready for misunderstandings and failed negotiations:)

Consciousness doesn't gently trickle back. It kicks you in the teeth without any warning. One moment, darkness. The next moment, you're heaving up and accidentally slamming into something hard.

That something yelps.

While you have the grace of facial protection, Sentinel isn't as lucky. You still have a throbbing headache, though. It flares whenever there's the incomprehensible electronic noise of their native tongue is being spoken.

Your head pulses to an excruciating degree when suddenly it clicks. The noise becomes words.

And you don't like them.

"Look, it can't even speak. Let alone understand us." Star Saber - your HUD factually pings, rapidly scrolling all of his positions, achievements, strengths, and possible weaknesses - says like an absolute cunt.

"Oooooo. Cooon-tuh." The High Lord Protector sounds out the English your ass of a mouth that not even a supercomputer brain could leash have shot out. The Seeker is unamused, and you don't even resist the urge to stick your tongue out since you're wearing the visor and he can't see.

You have a vague sense that you're forgetting something important. The wisps of a strange dream linger in the periphery edges of your mind, but a hiccuping wail interrupts everything.

Nearby and attached to the berth (fanon terminology don't fail you now!) are the infants. You immediately pick up the crying one. The tiny face warps from the force of their distress. Something compels you to cradle it up to your chest, and they settle down to snuffly whistles.

Of course, the other one starts up when your hands are full.

Sentinel picks the second infant to maneuver them to you. You never expected this asshole to have gentle hands, but he does. At least for the babies.

"They're split-spark." He explains as both of them grab a hold of each other, whistling and chirping between a songbird and a hot kettle. "They have to remain close together until they're third in-star."

There's a moment of silence in the room, only interrupted by the newsparks' chirping babbling and fretful meeping.

"Not to be rude," you slowly test out the digital language, and Star Saber doesn't snort or move his expression, but he definitely disproves. Fucker. "But why am I here?"

"Yes, Prime," the Seeker knows how to turn a soft voice into an assassin's thread. "Why do we have such a guest here?"

The words he chose have so many insulting undertones and stresses that if you didn't have your arms full, you might as well slap him. High Lord Protector be damned.

He wants you far away, and you want to be farther than Star Saber could dream of.

Of course, neither you nor Star Saber gets those desires granted.

"You're here," Sentinel’s tone shifts. Formal. Very formal. A strange mix of anticipation and... duty? "In the privacy of my household and in the presence of my most trusted-" Star Saber's expression is set in stone and just as cold "-to declare our sparks together in front of Primus."

Unlike fanfics where Sam Witwicky has the Allspark to handily act as a translator, you only have the equivalent of a more sensible Google translate with all of the additional kinda-helpul-but-not-really dings of subharmonics and underlying glyphs to provide more context. It sounds like a marriage proposal, but the way Sentinel emphasized it is more akin to a 'Guardian seek out an equal partnership in a (business) venture.'

Thanks, Google. Great help as always. Never change.

Unless you've taken over the body of a noble with capital to buy out galaxies or some sort of daring pirate/elite assassin with that ghostly possession of hidden skills, you have no idea why he's asking you for this kind of proposition.

You need to bite the bullet because you don't know what you're walking into, and maybe you can jump out another window and speed away.

You start searching the lexicon for the right words. Hopefully.

_____________

Even with the visor eclipsing your face, you're refreshingly honest and it's something Sentinel profoundly misses ever since he's been taken from the Guiding Hand's Towers.

And right now, they know your possible intention to jump again beneath the tangle of confusion and worry.

The windows here are reinforced and capable of withstanding artillery blasts and extreme heat resistance as well.

:: The foundlings are completely attached to this one. :: Hard and unforgiving Star Saber may be, but there are a few things that soften the mech. It may be the Seekerkin-coding in him that invokes protective feelings towards the very young.

You and the newsparks have sealed a guardian/parental bond. They can't separate them from you. The strain will most likely kill them, and possibly you with your recent recklessness. You may have a powerfully dense spark -a hallmark of mecha with Primal heritage- but you're still young, barely past the ninth in-star, and still developing towards an adult frame.

Ratchet had been torn between absolute fury and begrudgingly impressed by the one that had done your frame-schematics. It's a remarkable mix of stealth modifications, hidden components, and security. Your systems had literally chewed up suppression codes and medical overrides and spat them out.

Either you have a creator that's a fiend of a weaponsmith or you have ties to the legendary War-Forged, too. Unbelievable, but no one expected any frames out in the Wastelands to be blessed by Primus, and yet here they are with not one, but two individuals.

And Sentinel is asking the mechling for a formal courtship with the intention of bonding.

"Are you-" you speak carefully, testing out the glyphs, and he wonders what kind of dialect the Wilders speak "-asking me to bond with you?"

The phrase makes logical sense. However, Sentinel can't help but choke at the subglyphs you used. Instead of 'unity of wedlock between two parties,' you attached something akin to sponsoring a courtesan for an exclusive relationship. An explicitly sexual one.

Star Saber doesn't budge. The Seeker's body langauge is impeccable and beyond reproach to stand as a witness to this mess, but Sentinel feels the icy talons of their shared bond flare to a vicious burning grip.

:: If you say any sort of agreement to that poorly worded question, Sentinel Prime. :: Star Saber's terrible words cut into Sentinel's spark. :: I will personally make the rest of your limited time on this planet a new level of Unicron's Pits. ::

Sentinel had to lock his joints to keep himself upright and not sprawled on the floor. After a long moment, he manages to grapple with the bond to sear away Star Saber's influence. :: I wasn't! ::

Slag all those that deify their partnership as the original split-sparks Prima and Megatronus, it's a slaggen mockery of a marital bond.

Sentinel gathers every scrap of his intentions to make it work with the newly found Primal-descended and throws it at Star Saber's end. It's still a raw wound. He finds it deeply discomforting to be intimately tied to the Seeker upon the confirmed demise of an unmoored Zeta Prime. Just barely after the Temple's blessings to establish suitable compatibility as a Prime and a new Protector.

(If Sentinel thinks too much about it, he will scream until he burns out and -)

Star Saber quirks a plate at his efforts and releases the onslaught. :: Look at that. Perhaps there's a warrior underneath that softness, librarian. Correct your Intended before the Wilder escapes with the newsparks. ::

During their internal spat, you pressed your back against the wall, plating closed to minimize noise. You've silenced your biosignature as well. Even the foundlings are silent -a natural defense that's driven by terror of the sudden tensions and your own reaction.

Fan-fragging-tastic.

[mychlapci]

Tfa decepticon reddit.com equivalent:

R/tifu: tifu by asking my (7000000M) conjunx (500000M) if he thinks his much hotter friend (20000M) would be a surrogate carrier for us [edit #1] you must understand this is not me being lecherous. I love my conjunx but his hot friend's hips are as wide as my conjunx is tall. [Edit #2] stop sending me DMs asking for the comm code of my conjunx's friend. (Megop)

R/relationships: my (6800000M) conjunx (15000M) keeps frantically asking me if he is "the hot friend" of his group. Does he want me to lie to him? because his friend (20000M) is as wide as he is tall and can destroy buildings by sitting on them. [edit #1] no I AM NOT going to give you worms the comm code of the hot friend FRAG OFF. [Blitzbee]

R/vent: my (6700000M) conjunx (5000000M) lost the sparkling again [lockprowl]

R/medicine: [meta] stop posting creepshots of that autobot ambulance and asking if anyone knows his designation, current location, or comm code. Not only are these thirstposts off topic, he who shall not be named starts spamming the entire subreddit to defend his conjunx's honor [edit #1] it's only been 2 cycles and I had to delete ten different comments. Drift stop making alts to post here you aren't even a medic OR a decepticon

R/advice: a 60 page long post from Lugnut lamenting about finding an autobot [bulkhead] sexually attractive for the first time in his life and how to "stop betraying the decepticon cause". He vaguely describes the autobot, and the comments are a wall of "that is not an autobot. You have encountered a fertility deity crafted by primus's servo. Its ok to want to fuck him"

what i've learned from this is that tfa Bulkhead is one sexy bastard, and all the 'Cons kind of wanna get him pregnant (classic case of “I want a big fat bitch but i'm dating this skinny twink instead” truly sad), and that tfa Ratchet is also one sexy bastard and all the 'Cons wanna get him pregnant. This still severely baffles the rest of team prime, who all secretly thought they were the hottie of the team. and of course, the prowl miscarriage arc thickens. I know a twink with that little waist can’t carry a sparkling to term. His ass is not sexy in ’Con culture at all.

[cyberrose2001]

i’m coming out and this is probably no surprise but i’m the sentinel fucker anon.

anyways, you remember the big ass ask that i sent 👀 yeah… could i get some of that (oral, pegging, crying, multiple orgasms, aftercare) with a ftm reader if possible?

not entirely off topic but i love your horny rambles (if i can call it that), very entertaining and easy to agree with (especially when the characters are so…. MMMHFH).

TFA Sentinel x ftm!Reader

Hi Micro! Thank you for enjoying my horny rambles (and thank you for yours). Here’s your order! I hope you like it because I started this before I went away and forgot where I was going to go with it askdjheb

Anyway, here’s Sentinel getting pounded by ftm reader!

Warnings: Pegging, crying, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, some oral (reader giving).

Word Count: 1154

“Oh, Sentinel, what’s wrong, hm?” You lift your head from his valve to take a quick breather, “You want more, is that it, baby?”

Sentinel desperately nods as your slicked fingers massage against his clenched callipers while your other hand works magic, stroking his already weeping spike.

It’s almost too easy to turn Sentinel into a blabbering mess, and it’s what you love about him. Nobody apart from you knows how he whines and begs for you behind locked doors, how much of a slut he is for you. Because the one orgasm you’ve already given him wasn’t enough, he’s always desperate for more. And Primus, were you going to give him more

“Hm, that doesn’t sound very convincing, baby.” Your cheek presses against his hot anterior node as your strokes slow until you are only palming at his spike, innocent eyes gazing at how his thickness throbs against it, “Remember when I said to use your words?”

Your gaze falls onto Sentinel's teary optics, and you can feel his hips slowly rocking against your cheek.

“Please, I want more,” He blinks a few times, and you can see the lubricant fall down his face onto the pillow below, “I’ve been good for you. Primus, frag me, please.”

You beat on it for a moment, enough to fully take the sight of him in. His back struts gently arched, the tiny jerks of his hips you can’t see but only feel against your face, his servos fisting the damp sheets below, the old tears from earlier already staining his faceplate like dried-up rivers. It was a gorgeous sight, and you’re going to fucking ruin it.

You prop yourself up onto your knees, your silicone strap-on bobbing up and down between your hips as you do. Grabbing behind Sentinel's knees, you roughly pull his hips closer to yours until your dick presses against his node, causing Sentinel to draw a sharp intake.

“You want it?”

“Mmmh, yes…”

“Louder,” A swift slap to the inside of his thigh has him flinching and sobbing at the sting, “Tell me how much you want me to fuck your pretty valve.”

“Fuck I need it! I need it so bad, please!” Sentinel squirms under you, and a new flood of fresh lubricant pours from his optics.

His pleads send shivers down your spine. You usually wouldn’t have given in to him so quickly, making him wait just a bit longer until his processor almost fries from overstimulating him or the sheer amount of lubricant clogging his systems. But you’re pretty pent-up now, so you line up and slip straight into his valve with no resistance.

“Oooh, frag, yes!” Sentinel squeezes his swollen optics shut as you push yourself to the hilt. However, you didn’t need to do much more work due to the sheer suction on you.

To gain more leverage, you lift his pedes over your shoulders and push your chest flush against his chassis, drawing a delightful whine from him. You loved fucking him this way, if not to see his facial expressions come undone as he loses himself but also to hear him weep against your ear.

And boy, does he. You start rolling your hips down into him, trapping his legs between your arms whilst holding down his servos on the sheets like a yoga session gone right. And you start pounding.

“Ouugh frag it!” Sentinel moans out, the side of his helm buried into the pillow. You know him well enough to know that he’s not only hiding from you out of pleasure but for the downright dirty noises his wet valve is making. He finds it embarrassing.

You find it hot.

“C’mon, baby,” You pant; you’re exhausted from how long you’ve been fucking him for. Your muscles are seizing up, and your hips are aching, “One more, can you hggf… gimme one more?”

“I can’t! It’s haHAAgh too much!”

At this point, Sentinel has overloaded approximately three times. Not that you’ve been counting. It could’ve been more, but it’s hard to tell when you have him crying out and spilling fresh tears against your cheek with every thrust. But either way, you’re not a fan of uneven numbers, you’ll make it at least four.

“How about I give you a helping hand?” You sit up and away from his chassis, splaying a hand against it. His pedes still hang over your shoulders, but you manage to manoeuvre one off. With the extra room granted to you, your hand latches onto his bouncing spike, and you start to jack him off.

“Oh, Primus!” Sentinel cries out as he starts bucking into your tight grip, “Feels so g-good! Oh, slag, I love you so much!”

“Is that right, baby boy? Will you love me more after you cum on my face?” Your fist speeds up in tandem with your thrusts, desperate for him to finish one last time, “I know you can do it, c’mon, sweetie.”

The thought of being able to finish on your face must’ve been the final Jenga block that caused him to come crashing down. Sentinel arches his back as he hits his last overload of the evening. Jets of warm trans fluid hit your cheek and spill over your knuckles, mixing with the cooled-down spillage of his previous excesses on his pelvis. Fresh tears also pool from his optics as his hips bury themselves into the berth to try and escape the continuous milking of his overstimulated spike.

“I- ahhhnnn oh slag! Please, no more!” Sentinel whimpers out, and you finally let go of his spike, watching it twitch and bounce against his abdomen.

After lovingly observing your spent mech for a moment, drenched in his slick transfluids, you pull your strap out and watch as he jolts from the added stimulation. You unbuckle the belt from your hips and toss it across the bed. You’ll deal with the sopping-wet phallic object later. For now, you grab the damp towel on the nightstand and crawl on top of him to straddle his chassis.

“Are you ok? I wasn’t too rough on you, was I?” You gently coo, cupping his chin with one hand while you wipe under his optics with the cloth.

Sentinel is still catching his breath, giving you a slight whine, “Y-Yeah, I’m alright. I forget how talented you are with multitasking, though.”

“I’m a man with many talents, Sentinel,” You laugh softly, moving the cloth down under his chin to wipe the rest of the stains away, “But I’m more impressed with how many overloads you gave me, I think I lost track at one point.”

“Hah, I wasn’t even counting.” He gives you a slight toothy grin, and you can’t help but lean down to capture it with a kiss.

Sentinel hums into your mouth, moving his shaky servos to rest on your thighs, “Can we shower now? I think I got transfluids in my circuits.”

[ladynighthaunter]

Kaldor Primus.

Hive Gideon.

The current governor Fibus of the Kaldor system looked over his desk and bit back a sigh, sitting across from him was Cardinal Tyron, religious leader of the sub sector and current pain in his ass.

The Cardinal waved a ring encrusted hand. "Surely you must understand, this world is of great Religious significance to the Imperial creed, I only ask you step aside and let a member of the cloth take charge, fully bring your system back into the Imperial fold."

Fibus hopped his message got out, warning the Primarch of this before answering. "My dear cardinal, my family has held this position since it was entrusted to us by the Primarch herself, this is a chapter world, domain of the Adeptus Astartes, you have very little sway here."

The joviality drained from Tyron's face. "I don't think you understand, this world was blessed by the first saint, such a holy act trumps a hereditary seat or some Primarch no one has seen in ten thousand years, the only Primarch afoot in the galaxy at the moment is the reborn son, he will surely see the logic of making this a shrine world... We will even fold your deviant faith into the Imperial Creed."

The door to the Governors office opens and a towering figure enters, Tryon turns in his seat and looks as if he had swallowed his tongue as Konrad Curze steps in. "What am I hearing?" She hisses, looking at the Cardinal with disgust.

Fibus feels bold with Konrad there. "The Imperial Church is trying to force itself unto your domain my lady."

Konrad stalks up to the desk and looks at Tyron, his fatness, his gaudy jewelry and snears. "This is my world, not the churches, mine." She hisses.

Tyron mops his forehead. "I.. Well, this world is the world of the first saint! It must be turned over to the church! Her remains recovered and sent to Holy Terra for interment."

Konrad's eyes narrow. "How do you know if my wife's body?"

Tyron tried to puff his chest up. "The Ecclesiarch has its agents, you would not dare deny us this."

Her laugh is a dark thing, free of mirth as she stares utter contempt at him. "You would butcher my wife's body, tear it apart to make your so called holy trinkets, I have seen your religion, how it twists and warps the words my wife spoke! I deny you, you claims hold no merit upon my world, my system."

Tyron is now red in the face. "You risk holy war over this! You may be a Primarch but the church is the true power of this Imperium! We will have this world, we will have the first sa-" he is cut off as Konrad hauls him out of his seat, bringing him to her eye level.

"You are all hot air little man, trying to use your weight to bully people, I do not fear you, your armies, I am the Night Haunter, this is my domain, my legi... Chapter will stand against you, we will bleed you, we will cut your feet from you and force you to run in the streets, I am sister of Roboute Guilliman, do you think he will stand for your petty power play?" She dumps him back into his seat. "Get off my world."

Cardinal Tyron adjusts himself and makes for the door. "You have not heard the last if this! We will not be denied!" He shouts as the door slams closed behind him.

Fibus sighs. "Well, that could of gone better... Should we put any merit in his threats my lady?"

Konrad snorts, she had seen visions of a holy war before... Maybe this was the first steps in that path? Tapping her vox, she contacts the Mortuary. "Summon the Contekar, have them guard the Saints tomb.... And a Squad of Rivers are to guard Niel, if any of you see a member of the Imperial faith, engage with extrema predijous."

Now to figure out how the damn church learned of Euphrati.

Deep in the underhive of hive Pious, fresh from stasis, Alpha Legion marines move, their plans unfolding after thousands of years.

[ask-a-bot]

Hot Rod- hi carrier!!! Oooh this is fun, I've never talked to an al-ter-na-tive version of my carrier!

Bumblebee- roddy, hey, you know you aren't supposed to touch that. It's First Aid's and you're too young to be on the internet. Sorry, we're from the autobots-in-training blog. Didn't mean to bother you. Our carrier is out on a mission and Roddy misses him.

Roddy- Our carrier is gonna kick ass!

Bumblebee- Roddy! Who taught you that word!?

Roddy-... Miko....

Bumblebee- Primus help me

*end transmission*

Who was he calling "carrier"?

I have no idea. That sounded a lot like Hot Rod, when he was... when I had to leave him with Kup.

He is a young adult now, I believe?

Yeah. Just a little older than Star. That was... weird.

[scariusaquarius]

blood, guts, and transformers.

Chapter Sixteen: Honey and Vinegar

Winchester! Reader

Note: So, I know that Dark of the Moon takes place approximately three years after Revenge of the Fallen, but in order to keep the flow of the story coherent to the characters, I've decided to have the DOTM events happen one year after the events of ROTF.

A year. It had been a full year since the failure at Stonehenge. In the time of that year, I traveled the country, following any leads that I could. However, continuously, I came up empty. My dreams were scarce; Primus seemingly going quiet until I found what, and who, I was looking for. Uncle Sam and Cas continued their search as well, but also came up empty.

Everything had come to a complete dead end.

William had taken some well-needed time off to spend it with his family, and I had bought an apartment with Sam with the money I had earned from my shop in Chicago and some allowance from N.E.S.T. The apartment was grand and big enough to house Bumblebee and Baby.

However, they stayed inside of a small parking garage, awaiting their next orders and hanging out while staying low. I made this apartment my base, doing any research and keeping track of the Decepticon activity, trying to see if there were any patterns that would be significant to me.

In a way, I still worked for N.E.S.T. They had tried to keep me in Diego Garcia, but I refused to stay cooped up on the island. I loved the Autobots with all my heart, but I couldn't stay with them all the time. I couldn't handle being around such strong energies, especially Optimus'. However, Uncle Sam and Castiel didn't have an issue staying with them for a while.

For three whole months, they stayed until they realized that the trail had gone cold. Then, it was back to Kansas. Often, they called and gave me any information that might be useful to me, but most of it was null. The only sound pattern that I had found was that Decepticon activity had gone down tremendously after my outburst at Stonehenge.

The Cybertronian DNA in me continued to grow. CAT Scans done at Diego Garcia's infirmary had found that my bones had begun to fill up with a strange metal, causing my skeleton to become denser and stronger. I was practically a walking Wolverine just minus the claws.

Though, having claws would be a nice touch.

The smell of hot coffee and food invaded my senses as a cup and plate came from behind me to sit in front of me. I smiled softly as Sam greeted me with a small grin on his lips.

"One coffee and a McGriddle for the lady."

Sam's hand rest on my shoulders as he looked over my notes, asking.

"Did you find anything new?"

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair before taking a sip of the coffee. I blanched at the gross taste before shaking my head, taking another sip. I definitely needed the caffeine.

"Nothing. Though, I've been tracking any and all Decepticon activity. Ever since Stonehenge, they've really backed off. Either they're scared of me, or they're planning something. I've been monitoring it as closely as I can."

Sam sighed slightly before urging.

"You should take a break. You've been at it since four in the morning. Don't you have work today?"

I groaned, letting my head fall down as Sam reminded me. A new voice asked.

"Why the hell you working for those skinbags anyway? You're a warrior goddess! You should be kicking ass on the field!"

I turned to Wheelie, raising my eyebrow as I sipped my drink once more.

"Wheelie, I'm pretty sure N.E.S.T doesn't want me working after Stonehenge. You remember Stonehenge? You weren't there, but I ripped a Decepticon apart-"

I leaned closely, eyes wild as I pressed my finger to my temple, grinning widely.

"-with my mind! Like I’m freakin Scarlet Witch or some shit."

I leaned back, crossing my arms.

"I'm pretty sure they know it was me, and now I'm being tracked by every US Government facility. They could be watching us now."

Sam closed his eyes, shaking his head. Knowing that my antics were annoying him, I grinned. Brains got up onto the desk, saying.

"Well, I don't feel none of them in the cameras or the mics, so I think you're okay for now."

I shook my head before digging into my food. Sam asked me.

"When do you go in for work?"

"Around eleven."

I replied around a mouthful of food. Sam blinked before looking at his watch.

"(Y/n), that's in like...twenty minutes."

I froze before grabbing my food, running to my room.

"Save the files on the computer and shut it down! I'm gonna be late!"

-TIMESKIP-

Accurreta Systems of Hotchkiss Gould Investments. The best yet creepiest place in the world. How I managed to land a job here was beneath me, especially after somehow losing a job working at a different office doing administrative work for Toyota.

They should have just listened to me that nobody wanted a piece of shit electric car.

There were cars upon cars here, most of them classic, and it made my heart sputter each time I walked into this place. I couldn't help but think that Dad would love this place every time I walked in.

However, the creepy part about the job was Dylan Gould. While he had been kind enough to give me the job, his requirements for the job always made me squirm. Why did I always have to dress really classy? He wanted me to wear dresses, but I told him I wouldn't be caught dead or alive with one. He had compromised by allowing me to wear pantsuits and slacks with nice blouses.

My closet consisted of more slacks and pantsuits than it did my regular clothing, and it made me uncomfortable. I wasn't used to having such nice clothes, but Dylan was merciful with me. I could tell that he could see how unused I was to having such a classy job. As I sat in my office, Dylan popped in, flashing me a large smile.

"Well, if it isn't my favorite girl."

Internally, I cringed but spared him a glance nonetheless.

"Hello, Mr. Gould. How are you doing today?"

He scoffed, waving me off with a playful smile.

"Please, (Y/n). You don't have to call me Mr. Gould when it's just us."

I raised my eyebrow up at him, asking him as I typed away on my computer, logging and organizing all of the new orders that had come in.

"Wouldn't professionalism be compromised then?"

"Not if nobody knew, sweetheart."

He winked at me, and I internally grimaced. While Dylan Gould was as enthusiastic as his job allowed him to be, there was something about him that made my skin crawl. There was an aura around him that made me want to run, and from my past experiences, I knew my intuition was always right.

How would I figure out what was wrong with the man? I couldn't exactly just sneak into his office. I decided to play it cool and I turned, filing some of the files that had been placed on my desk for the day.

"For the sake of your reputation, I would advise to be careful...Dylan."

He smiled before winking, complimenting me before leaving.

"Of course. Might I say that you look absolutely gorgeous today?"

When he walked off, I muttered grumpily.

"Why does his tone imply that I'm not good-looking any other day?"

I huffed before texting Sam.

'Please save me from my job. I would love to go home and resume working on monitoring everything.'

Not even a second later, Sam texted back saying.

'Don’t you think that now would be a great time to take a break? You've been working really hard on monitoring Decepticon activity while trying to work your job.'

I paused. Sam had a point. I was working myself to the bone, practically obsessed with trying to find any information that would lead me to my father. Looking down at his reply, I sighed before replying back.

'Maybe you're right. I've been practically driving myself mad trying to find my father.'

'There'll be takeout waiting for you when you get home :) '

'I can't wait till the day you learn how to cook.'

'Hey! I can cook. I just don't feel like it.'

'Tell that to the pizza you burnt to a crisp the other night.'

'Goodbye, (Y/n)!'

I chuckled lightly before beginning to resume my work. I was definitely going to have a break from it all when I got home.

As I sat on the couch eating my takeout, Sam was glued to the couch while watching the TV, barely taking a bite of his food as John Wick slammed the bad guys head into a pencil. He grimaced before saying, sparing a glance at me as he took a bite of his food.

"Do you think you could pull off something like that?"

I shrugged, finishing off my second plate of takeout.

"Depends. I would much rather rip the guy apart with my mind than stab him with a pencil. What if I gotta use the pencil later?"

Sam gave me a look, and I simply smirked before shrugging again.

"Hey, I've got a magical brain now. Why not use it?"

Sam was quiet before asking me.

"Did it hurt?"

I looked at him, raising my eyebrow in interest.

"Did what hurt? When I fell from Heaven? Not as much as it did crawling up from Hell."

Sam gave me a dirty look, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"No, you jerk. I'm asking if it hurt to use such a power like that at Stonehenge?"

I bit my lip before looking down at my empty plate.

"I...I don't think so. All I felt was...power…just something filling up in me before it just exploded. It was startling more than anything."

Sam was quiet before he opened his mouth to say something. However, my computer began to beep rapidly, signaling that there had been an update in Decepticon activity. Sam and I shared a look before I jumped up from the couch, skidding to the computer.

However, instead of an update, it was a message from Lennox.

‘I need your assistance at N.E.S.T. Optimus found something. It’s highly important.’

Sam frowned deeply and murmured.

“Why couldn’t he just call you?”

I frowned as well and stated.

“It’s probably top secret. This computer is completely encrypted, and only Will has access. If Will tried to call me, whoever he doesn’t want to find out would probably…you know, find out.”

Sam nodded before he glanced at me.

“What about your job? You have a great thing going for you, and if you leave and somehow get stuck there, you’ll lose it.”

I bit my lip. Sam had a point. If I left and had to stay at N.E.S.T for a while, I would probably lose my job. Though, if I sweetened up to Dylan, maybe I could get on some sort of leave. Would it be too early?

“You’re right…I just…what if it’s super important? Will did say that Optimus found something…what if Optimus needs my help?”

Sam sat down next to me, placing his hand over mine.

“I know you care about them as much as I do…but we have a really good thing going for us. We can’t keep getting up and leaving what we know.”

I sighed and squeezed his hand gently.

“Sam, I know you come from a good place, but you’re not the one with their god speaking through them. They might actually need my help.”

Sam bit his lip and looked away, and I murmured.

“I’ll take a bit to think about it. I just…I don’t know if it’s the right choice to ignore it.”

Sam stood up and ran a hand through his hair. After a moment, he paused and whispered with his back turned to me.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt or worse, (Y/n).”

I was quiet, causing Sam to glance back at me, and I shook my head.

“I’m not going to get hurt, Sam. I’ve got a very good friend with a really cool autobot for a car and my very own Cybertronian guardian. I’m safest when I’m with you.”

Sam widened his eyes a bit, but before he could say anything, the sound of Careless Whisper began to play from the window. We both snapped our necks to the window where Bumblebee stood, his fingers in the air as it played. Sam stormed to the window and slammed it shut, snapping.

“Not cool, Bee! Not cool. You know, we really need to work on your privacy skills!”

As Sam and Bee argued, I couldn’t help but to sit back and chuckle, watching them. Truly, I would miss them if I had to leave. Up until this moment, I had done everything with Sam. I had gotten a job, helped him get a job, began to make a life for myself…it was everything I could have wanted despite not having all the answers and my dad.

Really, I did feel at home with Sam.

And that worried me.

Turning away from him, I looked at the computer screen where Will’s message continued to go ignored. Biting my lip, I sent a reply back.

‘I can’t up and leave, Will. I have a really good job that I will lose if I leave and get stuck in Diego Garcia for longer than the weekend. I’m sorry. Just keep me updated, and if I absolutely need to be there, then you’re going to have to get in touch with my job so I don’t lose it.’

After replying, I shut the computer screen and laid my head back against the headrest of the chair and sighed. Wheelie rolled up beside the computer, wringing his little hands together.

“I think you made the right choice. You’re too young to have to worry about us.”

Brains nodded as he hopped onto the desk as well.

“That’s true. You should focus on your life and Sam.”

I popped my eyes open, growling.

“Don’t you dare feed into Bee and Baby’s antics. I’ll put you in the box again.”

Brains threw his hands up in the air.

“Well, pardon me! I thought you two just had something good was all.”

I groaned and stood up, hands on my hips.

“The box, Brains! I’m warning you.”

Brains grumbled and turned away, and I glanced at Sam as he looked at me.

“It’s like children, really.”

Sam seemed to zone out for a moment, and though I was curious, I didn’t question it. Instead, I marched up the stairs, announcing.

“I’m taking a bath and opening wine. Don’t bother me.”

“Wine?! Where did you get wine?”

I glanced at Sam from over the railing, grinning.

“I didn’t. I’m only 18, and I don’t drink.”

Sam gawked and I laughed the whole way up the stairs.

-TIMESKIP-

When I had finished the bath and half of the bottle, I slipped into bed beside Sam, who was propped up and grimacing at his phone. Raising an eyebrow at him, I asked as he chucked the phone on the nightstand.

“What’s up with you?”

Sam groaned and slid down the bed to get comfortable, murmuring.

“My parents are gonna come to visit in a week. They’re going to come visit while I’m…I’m jobless!”

I sat up, speechless.

“You’re what? But you just got that job with Walmart!”

Sam winced and threw his hands up in the air.

“I know, but can you imagine?! I save the world twice, get a medal from the President, and I’m groveling for a job. I can’t let my parents visit and I don’t have a job, let alone be working for Walmart!”

I punched his arm, making Sam yelp and flinch.

“Firstly, you didn’t save the world twice on your own. You saved it once on your own. Secondly, what even happened at Walmart?”

Sam gave me a look.

“You really don’t want to know, and I’m not telling you because you’ll never let it go. Besides, I actually do have a few job interviews tomorrow morning. It’s gonna be a walk in the park, and I’m going to land one of them.”

I just stared at him before sighing and lying down on my back, shaking my head as Sam rolled over on his side to face me.

“Look, I don’t think your parents would demean you. I mean, not everyone knows that you’re a hero, Sam, and that you work with the coolest people and beings on the planet-“

“-that’s the thing. I should be working for them here, in D.C or even in Diego Garcia, but I’m stuck here being a wayward soul unable to find his place.”

I rolled my eyes and rolled over to face him, making Sam twitch his lips a little.

“Sam, you said it yourself earlier that we have a good thing going for us here, and that matters. Besides, I mean…you’re here with me, aren’t you? That’s still a place that you’re at.”

Sam’s eyes softened and he shook his head.

“What would I do without you, Satan?”

“Crash and burn, probably.”

Sam rolled his eyes and pushed me slightly, and I chuckled before turning back to lie on my back. Sam scooted closer and I murmured gently as he got comfortable.

“You’re going to be fine. You said you were going to get a good job, and I believe you. Besides, where I’m at, I can still cover the bills while you get back on your feet.”

“What am I, your boy toy or something? You know how demeaning that is?”

I snorted and murmured.

“There’s nothing demeaning about being a sugar baby.”

Sam groaned loudly and threw a pillow at me.

“That’s not-that’s even worse!”

I giggled and shrugged.

“What else would you call it? I am the breadwinner right now, so you can go ahead and be the cute housewife until you get the job and leave the kids all unattended to break and wreck everything we own.”

Sam perked up with a grin.

“You think I’m cute, huh?”

“You’re so fucking typical. The only thing you took from that was the ‘cute’ part? Statement redacted, you fucking lizard.”

Sam gasped and sat up, shoving a pillow in my face as I yelped and struggled against his weight.

“You take that back right now!”

My yells were muffled from the pillow, and when Sam pulled back and asked ‘what was that’, I pushed him off. Sam went crashing off the side of the bed, and I began to howl with laughter as his feet stayed raised in the air.

“You are terrible. You know what, I’m sleeping downstairs. See what you did? I’m taking my pillow and moving.”

I took his pillow and hugged it to my body, saying.

“You’ll never take this pillow back alive.”

Sam gave me an irritated look, hands on his hips.

“Really? This is what it’s come down to? My one pillow? This is a disgrace. Give it.”

“I’ll give it back if you don’t go downstairs.”

Sam huffed and slowly sat down beside me, muttering.

“This has to be some sort of abuse.”

“It’s Sam-buse.”

Sam gave me an exasperated look, and I chuckled before shoving his pillow back to him.

“Keep it up, Sparky.”

I rolled my eyes and Sam laid back down, shaking his head, and I chuckled again.

“Night, Sammy.”

“Whatever.”

…

“Goodnight, Satan.”

I immediately recognized the scenery to be D.C. The area had become desolated and familiar; like a war had taken place. Buildings were ruined, streets and dirt everywhere, and I could feel an intense energy pulsing all around me. As I looked around, I heard a voice speaking.

‘For the sake of our planet's survival, a deal had to be made... with Megatron.’

Sounds of fighting began, and I could hear the unmistakable voice of Ironhide, as if he was dying, and I became frantic as I began to run down the streets. However, no matter how fast I ran, the noises and the voices followed and became louder. Car alarms, sirens, explosions; it was deafening as I began to hyperventilate and covered my ears.

‘Just moments ago, legislation was passed to exile the Autobots from American shores-‘

Creaking metal sounded, and I glanced up at the sky to see some sort of structure coming into the atmosphere as more sounds of war sounded, the wind beginning to blow against me and keeping me from moving forward.

‘-No, I can’t leave you! I can’t!-‘

‘-Your father needs you. You have to go to him-‘

‘He’s here! He’s here! He’s here!’

Finally, another voice came in that I recognized, and I froze when I stumbled upon a large pile of metal, their forms coming together slowly to reveal the wavering image.

‘This is the victory I promised you so many years ago, where we rebuild Cybertron... together!’

All of the autobots, people that I loved, people that I came to know…all dead in a single pile as pieces of what looked to be a metal honeycomb came crashing down in front of me.

Covering the image of Sam’s dead and mutilated body just as his eyes turned a sickly black.

I became engulfed in the dust.

-MORNING-

In the morning, I awoke to feeling extremely hot. Sweat was running down my temple, and I glanced down to see Sam curled up into my side. His head was on my chest, arm wrapped around my torso, and his leg had come to rest on top of mine, caging me in with no hope of escape. However, for a moment, I did not mind.

Instead, I held him closer, bearing the heat as the image of his dead body came into my brain.

I was extremely unsettled.

For the most part, my dreams had been mild. I never had to experience or witness death in such a way, but what I had seen in my dream…it was alarming. Who had made a deal with Megatron? What did Megatron mean by ‘rebuilding Cybertron’? I wasn’t sure, but it made me think if it had something to do with Will’s message.

Looking at the alarm clock, I frowned when it read six am. I would have to go to work soon, and Sam needed to wake up to prepare for his interview. Glancing down, I sighed heavily, the movement making Sam hum and hold me tighter. Finally getting sick of the heat, I gently shook Sam.

“Sammy, it’s time to wake up.”

Sam grumbled, muttering as he nuzzled my chest.

“Five more minutes.”

“Five more minutes, and I’ll fucking melt. Sam, get up.”

Sam sat up stiffly, groaning as I sat up as well, wiping my forehead.

“What time is it?”

Sam slurred slightly, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

“It’s 6am. You gotta get ready for your interviews, and I need to get ready for work.”

Sam nodded before glancing at me before frowning.

“You’re not looking too good, are you alright?”

I hesitated, wondering if I should tell him the dream. When I looked at Sam, an image of his eyes going black made me falter, and I simply nodded.

“Yeah, you’re just a furnace and decided I was the next-best-thing to cuddle with in the middle of the night. I’ve been sweating for hours.”

Sam’s face went red, and I rolled my eyes.

“I call dibs on the shower since you decided to try to kill me in my sleep.”

“Hey, I tried to move to the couch, but you didn’t let me.”

I made a face at him, and Sam shrugged before jumping out of bed and walking to the drawers situated against the wall. As he dug through his clothes, I went to the closet, picking out a simple but cute pantsuit and shawl, grabbing my black flats and heels. As I got into the shower, I sighed and turned the water to cold.

What could that dream have meant? Should I tell him? Should I tell Will? My head was hurting, truthfully. I felt like I had gotten hit by a train, and when I went to wash my body, I found a strange spot of dirt on my arm. Frowning deeply, I picked the rubble off and became perturbed.

Slamming the shower off, I was quick to get out and get my routine done before walking down the stairs. Sam came out wearing a nice white button up, a suit jacket, and a nice pair of jeans that completed the look nicely. He seemed to be fumbling with his tie, and I rolled my eyes before walking to him. Sam froze as I tied his tie for him, and I patted his chest.

“Hopeless.”

“I can tie my own ties, thank you.”

His ears were pink, and I grinned.

“You know, blush any harder, and I might think you’re part cherry.”

Sam glared at me and hissed.

“Five minutes. Can’t be left alone for five minutes.”

“You earned it for trying to turn me into rotisserie chicken last night. Anyway, are you ready for your interviews?”

Sam hummed before shrugging.

“I don’t know. I really don’t. I just know I gotta go out there and get out with the job.”

I placed my hands on his shoulders, shaking my head.

“Don’t worry. Everything is going to work out, okay?”

Sam nodded before thanking me gently.

“Thank you. It means a lot to me.”

I nodded before ushering him out the door.

“Go. It’s better to be early. Makes you look eager…or desperate. Both work.”

Sam made a face at me and walked out the door, and I sighed. However, when I didn’t hear the car start, I frowned and glanced out the window to see his parents stepping out of the biggest RV I had ever seen. Walking downstairs, I could already hear his mother’s voice practically yelling through the doorway.

“Where’s my girl at?”

Sam ran a hand through his hair, exclaiming.

“She got a new job. You guys said you weren’t going to be here until next week! The 21st, not the 11th, Dad!”

His dad chuckled and shrugged.

“We hauled ass in this thing. We stopped for gas, and that was it.”

“-it’s great! The love tub, it flies!”

Sam looked stressed, and his mom hummed.

“Oh, I’m sorry, are we keeping you from something? Your job?”

His dad chuckled.

“It’s about time, you had us worried!”

Sam stuttered, and I sighed. Off to save the world three times, I guess. Stepping out, I exclaimed, making Sam whip his head around and his parents’ eyes light up.

“Hi, guys! I’m so surprised you guys are here so soon! Sam’s got to get to his job or he’s gonna be late!”

Judy gasped and rushed over to me, giving me a big hug and making me wince from how tight she was hugging me.

“Oh, there’s my girl! Sam, you were trying to keep her all to yourself! Shame on you!!”

Sam made an exasperated expression, and I chuckled gently.

“Well, to be fair, I’m supposed to be on the way to work, but I figured that I would give Sam a ride, you know? Quality bonding time.”

Judy cooed, giggling.

“You are just the cutest thing. See, Sam? This is how you know you have a good woman on your hands! If you mess this up, I’ll shove my foot up your ass.”

Sam’s ears turned red when Ron clapped him proudly on the back, and he shook them both away.

“Okay, that’s great. You guys are wonderful. We both need to get to work. Lay off the wine, and for gods sake, don’t do anything weird. Love you, bye!”

As Judy protested, Sam grabbed my hand and dragged me to the garage where Baby waited.

“Are you insane? Egging my mom on like that? She’s never gonna leave me alone!”

“I just saved your ass from some embarrassment. You think you would have survived?!”

Sam threw his hands up in the air.

“Alright, fine, fine. Can we go?”

I rolled my eyes as Baby’s engine cranked.

“We ready to go, bub?”

“Yeah, yeah, we’re ready.”

As I climbed into the drivers seat, Sam sat beside me, his knee bouncing as he anxiously rubbed his chin. Shaking my head, I glanced at him as Baby drove.

“You’re going to be fine, Sam. It’s all going to work out. You’re gonna go in there, you’re going to get this job, and your parents are going to be pleased. They’re here for a few days, so we’ll…entertain them if we can’t find them the earliest tickets for some weird thing old people would like.”

“Did you just call my parents old?”

The radio crackled, Baby’s voice piping in.

“You know, I think all that war made you deaf, kid.”

Sam smacked the radio off, and glared at me. I shrugged.

“What do you want me to say? I’m not good at this stuff.”

Sam groaned and laid his head back.

“I just need this to go right. Okay? I just need this one thing.”

“You’re going to be fine, Sam. I promise. Just go in there and tell them that you’re willing to work as soon as possible, that you’re very adaptable and willing to take on challenges, and I think you should be alright.”

Sam nodded and Baby pulled up to the building. I whistled lowly.

“Looks pretty serious. I think you’ll be okay. Just dial 911 if you think you’re about to get murdered or something.”

“That’s not funny.”

He made a face at me before opening the car door, and I leaned down to look at him through the window.

“You’re going to be fine, I promise. I believe in you, Sam. If you can save the world twice and get a medal from POTUS, you can ace a few job interviews.”

Sam glanced down at me before nodding and taking a deep breath.

“You’re right, you’re right. I got this. Okay. I’ll message you when I’m out.”

I nodded and Sam left. Baby sighed, switching the radio back on.

“He does know that turning the radio off doesn’t work, right?”

“Just let him live comfortably in his lie. Sam’ll start shitting a brick if he finds out, and then we’re gonna have a meltdown. Do we want a meltdown, Baby?”

Baby made a noise of disgust, the radio shifting channels for a moment.

“He’d be out of the car.”

“Exactly. Let’s go, I’m gonna be late…and I’ve got an idea on how to help Sam get a job.”

Baby revved his engine, and with tires squealing, we were gone. Going down the road, however, I got a call. Looking at my phone, it was Will. Immediately, I picked it up.

“Will, you have really shit timing.”

“You can’t seem to answer your messages.”

I groaned and replied.

“I’m sorry, I just have a lot on my plate right now. What do you need?”

Will sighed on the other side of the line, saying gently.

“I know that you do, and I’m sorry, but Optimus is requesting you here at N.E.S.T. I really meant it when I said it was important. I can’t relay the information over the phone, but it’s big and it’s gnarly and it’s getting dangerous. I need my favorite gal here for help.”

I rolled my eyes and muttered.

“Flattery gets you nothing but a swift kick in the ass. I really did mean that I can’t just up and leave my job, Will. I’m going to get fired, and I know I’m going to because this sounds so serious that it’s going to take longer than the weekend.”

Will sighed again and I winced, hating that I was stressing him out.

“Look, I’ll talk to my boss and see if I can cook up some sob story about a family member passing away, but you’re going to have to give me some really selling paperwork that I can use so I can get some sort of leave for work. Does that work?”

Will hummed.

“I’ll see what I can do. While I do that, go to work and talk to your boss, okay?”

“Alright, I will. I’ll see you when I get there. Don’t do anything stupid, and don’t touch a single thing.”

Will chuckled.

“Alright. Love you.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

I hung up and puffed my cheeks out, feeling embarrassed. Baby chuckled.

“Still not at the ‘love’ phase?”

I answered honestly as Baby pulled into the parking lot, parking and sitting idle as I sat still in the front seat.

“I do love him, don’t get me wrong. I just…it feels weird to say it because then I feel like I’m letting my dad go and replacing him. It isn’t right. Until I get some solid evidence that Dad is really gone, I’m not giving up hope. I don’t want to seem like a bad person, I just…I really need time.”

Baby hummed and the seatbelt tightened comfortingly before Baby unbuckled it.

“I get it, bub, just don’t shut the man out, alright? He’s doing his best with what he’s got.”

Without another word, I got out of the vehicle and walked into the building, showing my badge before bounding off towards my office. Getting inside, I sat down at the computer and sighed before rubbing my forehead. Just as I logged into the computer, a knock on the door sounded, making me glance to see Dylan.

“I was wondering when my Duchess was going to show up.”

“I’m sorry, your what?”

Dylan chuckled before saying with a smirk.

“Duchess. Lifesaver. Whatever fits.”

I had to refrain from rolling my eyes, but before I could retort, Dylan hummed in interest.

“You seem different today. Anything you wanna get off your chest? Judgment free.”

I guess this is where the waterworks come.

It was easy to let tears fill my eyes as I looked away. Memories of my father flashed in my head, and I shook my head slowly.

“To be truthful with you, not really. I…found out some very devastating news, and I’m not taking it very well.”

Dylan cooed, sitting down in front of me.

“Oh, that’s not good. I can’t have my best girl ruining her pretty face with tears. Talk to me, Duchess.”

Oh, god, kill me.

“Um, my dad…he passed away tragically. He’s the only parent I had left, so this loss is just hitting hard. Not to mention, my roommate is struggling too. Nobody wants to hire him, and I’m trying to help him the best I can, and I feel like I’m failing. He’s a really good guy and knows a lot about cars and I just feel like I’m not able to help. With Dad passing away, and my friend struggling, I just…I’m a terrible friend and daughter. I got into an argument with my dad before his death and I can’t take those words back!”

I covered my face as I cried, and Dylan wrapped his arms around me. My body immediately flinched with disgust, his cologne causing actual tears from the potency, and he cooed.

“I’m so sorry, Duchess. I wish I could take your pain away. You’re not a failure, and you shouldn’t shoulder others pain. I know what you’re feeling. Why don’t you take a vacation for a while? I can hold the fort down.”

I sniffled and pulled away, carefully wiping my eyes.

“I can’t do that. I have to work. I love this job so much and I don’t want to fail you too.”

Dylan shook his head, stating.

“Your father passed away in a terrible way. That’s something nobody should have to go through at your age so soon. Take a couple days off, and I’ll even consider getting the hiring manager to give your friend an interview. How does that sound?”

I internally cringed as I wrapped my arms around Dylan.

“You’re such a lifesaver and a good man. I’m lucky to have you as a boss and a friend! I’m going to have to go out-of-state for his funeral….Kansas, actually. I’ll keep you updated. Are you sure you don’t want me to stay for today?”

Dylan held me close, murmuring.

“I know. Stay until lunch, and you should be fine. If you want, I’ll even schedule his interview for today. Does that sound alright?”

I nodded and Dylan kissed my temple.

“I hope things look up for you soon, my Duchess. Stay strong.”

He walked out, and I immediately gagged, wiping my eyes and blowing my nose.

“God, that was painful.”

Grabbing my phone, I sent a text to Will.

‘You owe me fucking big time, I hope you know that. Big, big, time.’

‘I’ll remember that. Let me know when you can get here.’

Shaking my head, I switched to Sam’s contact.

‘You got another interview today around 1pm at Accurreta.’

‘Accurreta? Really? How’d you find that out?’

I bit my lip before smirking.

‘I had Baby hack your email. You should seriously change your email. Nobody is going to hire you if you have an email from 4th grade.’

‘Seriously? We really need to talk about privacy. And you leave my email alone, okay?!’

I snorted before shutting my phone down and getting to work, crunching down on as much as I could before I had to leave.

-TIMESKIP-

When I got out, I was thankful to throw the heels off and slip into my flats. While Dylan had been gracious and left me alone, I still had to run around the building delivering paperwork and participating in meetings that I swore were going to haunt my dreams instead of Primus. Baby revved his engine the second I got inside, and he murmured.

“That was fast. You get fired?”

“Ha-ha, no. I made up some sob-story about Dad and got some time off. I got Sam an interview too that he’s gotta get to once he’s done with this last one today.”

Baby whistled as he drove to the last location for Sam’s interview.

“Damn, you got to work today, didn’t you?”

I shrugged and placed my hands on the steering wheel when we got to a red light, holding my phone between my cheek and shoulder so it didn’t look like I was talking to myself nor not driving my definitely-not-a-transforming car.

“As much as I possibly could. I’m just trying to help Sam and get Will off of my back. I’m sure there’s been some sort of development…again.”

“Don’t you know it, bub.”

Once we got to the building, I noticed Sam outside looking irritated. When he heard the vehicle, he seemed surprised to see me.

“What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

“I’m here to pick you up for your next interview. It’s on the way. I’m taking a couple of days off because Will won’t leave me alone. I already talked to my boss, everything has been worked out.”

Sam seemed genuinely surprised before he got into the vehicle, and Baby drove us back to Accurreta. Sam immediately got out after a lot of ushering, and I texted Will as soon as Sam was inside.

‘Alright, got Sam into an interview and then I should be on the way. You know he’s gonna ask questions.’

‘I know, but I can’t tell you anything until you get here. Don’t tell Sam, just tell him that your Uncle asked to see you or something.’

I felt bad about having to lie, but if Will was making this visit as secretive as possible, something really serious must have happened. Biting my lip, I replied.

‘It feels wrong to lie like this to him after everything.’

‘It’s for the best.’

Easy for Will to say. He’s been doing this for so long that of course it doesn’t seem like an issue for him, but this was big. I didn’t like to lie to Sam. Our friendship had been built on the foundations of trust…what if this broke it? What if it caused a rift that we couldn’t repair? I sighed and let my head fall back onto the seat.

“It’s gonna be alright, bub.”

I stayed quiet, and instead, I dozed for a little while until the car door opening caught my attention. Sam got into the front seat, sighing and looking frustrated.

“So?”

Sam pursed his lips.

“I got the job.”

I smiled widely.

“That’s great! I’m happy for you, Sam.”

Sam shook his head gently.

“I got stuck in the mailroom. That’s like…the worst job I could have gotten. I thought maybe I would be working with the big guns, but I’m just a mailman!”

I bit my lip. I have heard many things about the mailroom, and most things were terrible. Instead of agreeing with him, however, I instead shook my head.

“It’s still an important job, though. You’re gonna be making sure that things get delivered on time to the right people so that the company can function smoothly. Don’t forget that you can always get promoted, too. It’s a job, and it pays well. You’re already doing a lot better than you were, and now you can tell your parents that you actually have a job.”

Sam just nodded before he glanced at me.

“Vacation, huh?”

I pursed my lips and murmured.

“Yeah…my uncles need me back home for a few days. Something came up with a family member…my Uncle Bobby. He’s not doing so well these days.”

My heart constricted at the thought of my Uncle Bobby. Ever since leaving Texas, I hadn’t heard or seen from him much. Bobby had always been a loner, and always extremely busy even though Dad used to tell me stories of the man.

Was he a hunter like him too?

Briefly, I wondered what Bobby had gotten up to these days and if Cas and Uncle Sam had told him the news about Dad’s disappearance. Sam’s voice broke my thoughts as he asked.

“Uncle Bobby?”

“Yeah. He’s not actually blood related, but he’s been a life-long friend of my Dad and Uncle. I think my Uncles broke the news to him about my Dad finally, and things aren’t going well. He’s taking it very hard since he practically raised my Dad and Uncle.”

Sam looked solemn, and I shook my head.

“But, let’s not worry about that. You finally got a job. We should celebrate! Why don’t we go to a nice place to eat? We’re already dressed up, so we might as well.”

The radio began to play Babe by Styx, and even though I glared at the radio, Baby just turned the radio down a little. Sam glanced at me, and he said.

“You really don’t have to do that.”

Shaking my head, I was stern.

“I want to. It’s something to celebrate, and besides, I’ve really wanted to try that one place in town. Tokyo’s? We pass it by all the time.”

Sam hummed and revealed.

“I didn’t take you for a sushi person.”

“They have hibachi. It looks fun.”

Sam simply shook his head.

“It’s too expensive.”

I growled and hissed.

“Would you just let me take you out on a date?”

Sam’s eyes widened, and the radio sputtered for a moment. I was frozen, embarrassed, and I immediately stated as Sam’s mouth hung open in shock.

“It’s not a date. Not a date. I meant like a…like a lunch date! Friendly lunch date. Nothing weird about that. Friend’s go out for dinner all the time, nothing special.”

I looked away from him, my face feeling hot, and Sam hummed from beside me.

“So, you say I’m cute, now you’re taking me on a date…I think I know what’s happening here.”

I looked at Sam with a horrified expression as he smirked.

“You’re trying to bribe me.”

“Bribe you?! For what? What do you have that I want?”

Sam snickered before saying, gesturing to himself.

“Saved the world twice, got friends from outer space that transform into pretty cool cars, a medal from the President. I’m a package deal.”

“A package that’s 90% air. I’m vetoing Tokyo’s.”

Sam sputtered.

“What?! That’s not fair, you can’t take the date back!”

“It’s not a date!”

Though, it did sound like a pretty fun time.

Chapter Seventeen

[pynkchampagne]

🖤🧡 Lestober Day 13: Share your favorite lyrics from your top five songs from Les projects of your choice. Why do you like them? Or be brave and share your favorite lyrics from five shuffled songs!

Five Shuffled Songs: Rumble of the Diesel // Tyranny of the Hunt // Iowan Gal // Harold of the Rocks // Moron TV

Expanded under the cut. ⬇️🎃

Rumble of the Diesel : Les Claypool

I like to keep it simple; it helps to keep me sane

I like floating in the ocean it nullifies the pain

Hmm, this one is harder- all the story ones are harder. Les’ songs are not often like Lana’s where I can just pick out a line like “oh this is so pretty” or “oh I relate”. Maybe I could have with my favorite songs. I picked this pair of lines because I like the imagery. This is a nice song, goes with his blue collar roots, talking about fishing albacore, which he loves to do. I like to think he’s speaking for himself here and how he finds peace on the water. Makes me want to go out on a boat. 

Tyranny of the Hunt : Colonel Claypool’s Bucket of Bernie Brains

A Petaluma man

Showed his gal a trick

He took a needle full of cocaine

And he shot it in his prick

They say he got the gangrene

The pain it wouldn't stop

And when he took a hot bath that night

His pecker floated to the top

I mean I had to include this whole section, because Les just has such a way with words, with storytelling. Lol, I think he’s funny. This is a good example of one of his humorous lyrics. Loves singing about fucked up dudes. This is the best part of the song tbh. I love when he says sex words, hehe. I wonder if he heard a story about this, scribbled it down, like ‘oh this has got to go in a song, cocaine in his dick!?’

Iowan Gal : Les Claypool

She's got a round bottom I like to spank it

She quilt me up a cashmere blanket

Pretty as a picture, happy as a clam

Pinch me and tell me how lucky I am

You may try to win her but you never will pal

My purebred, cornfed Iowan gal

Jesus this whole song makes me, like, blush. It’s about his wife, holy shit. Ughhh, of course shuffle would land on this. I mean, I have to pick the part where he talks about spanking her ass, right?? I’ve talked about it on this blog before. Talking about how much he loves her. How lucky he is and how possessive he is over her. How happy he is with her. I’m gonna cry. This whole song is so sweet…and…y’know. Damn. (Chaney signed off on one of her posts one time with something like ‘from this Iowan Girl’ and I’m sick.)

Harold of the Rocks : Primus

It was a weekend's eve

I had sex on my breath

I was looking for something to see

What are the odds of getting two songs I’ve mentioned on here before? Again, I’m picking the sex lyrics because I’m shallow. This is another story song about a guy he knew. Fucked up dudes on drugs, his favorite subject matter. This lyric is my evidence that he loves eating pussy. Okay. Thank you. Next.

Moron TV : Primus

Just when I thought I'd seen it all

They pull a cretin from the shelves

And flash that filth under their nails

To make us feel better about ourselves

First, wow, just fucking realized he’s saying “more on TV” than “Moron TV”, because I’m an idiot. He’s so clever, what nice word play. I like this lyric because of the visceral imagery. He’s got a very nice vocabulary. I like the commentary of how shitty reality TV is and how networks take advantage of vulnerable/stupid people to sell ads and shit. I like when he expresses his opinions in his work. I tend to agree with him on most things. 

[loveofbots]

I was thinkin about Red Alert and tryin to fix my writers block, Red uses She/He pronouns- reader can have any gender

Warnings: 18+, needy reader, soft and fluffy

Red Alert was out surveying hot spots on Luna-1 once again. His backstruts groaning from the strain of being bent over all day. The mech rolled her shoulders and sat down for a moment, simply taking in the quiet of the moon. Her peace was interrupted when a private comm message came through.

Y/N: I miss you

Red smiled, knowing his lover must’ve just woken up without him there. He conjured the mental image of them laying in bed all sleepy and cozy waiting for his return.

Red Alert: Good morning, Love.

The red and white bot’s spark hummed a little harder at the thought of you snuggled up into his chassis. One of these days she’d take the morning off just to stay with you.

What Red Alert didn’t know was how much you longed for him. You felt empty without your sparkmate by your side. Chewing on your derma you debated sending the next message, but your spark yearned for Red, and it couldn’t wait.

Y/N: I need you to come home, I can’t spend another klik without you here right now.

This made the mech stand up right away, sending several messages asking about your well-being and if something happened. Quickly you reassured him.

Y/N: I’m okay sweetspark, sorry for worrying you. I’m just…

Red Alert held his venting in anticipation. Were you hurt? Surely you would tell him if you were.

Y/N: I need to make love to you right now.

Suddenly a blanket of heat drenched his frame. Oh. Red felt a familiar ache in his panels and transformed into his alt mode. This time his work would wait.

Red Alert: I’ll be there in 5.

Not even that long, Red opened the door to your shared hab suite venting a little heavily. You could tell by the gentle tremble in his frame that he was feeling the same as you. Especially when he walked over and captured your derma with his making you moan into his mouth. You pulled him back into the berth with you, arms wrapping around him and tangling your legs together. With a huff you broke the kiss and began attacking his sensitive wiring around his neck and made him groan. Red Alert’s hips canted into your thigh plating to create some friction and it started to drive you wild.

“What… hah, what got into you today?” The mech gasped out when your servos groped his ass. Through bared teeth you whispered your reply.

“Needed you. It’s been much too long since I…” You were cut off by a moan that bubbled up in your throat when Red’s digits caressed the cables in your hips and thighs. “Since I made love with you.” The rest came out in a whine that nearly broke Red Alert’s resolve right then and there. The two of your started to grind against each other.

“Where… how do you want to do it?” Red could barely speak between all the kisses you shared with him. His vents sputtered when he you parted and he saw the absolute love and adoration in your optics.

“I need to be inside of you.”

………………………………………….

Red Alert’s faceplate heated up. It wasn’t like this was your first time together, but it was that hungry, carnal look you gave him with your face so close to his valve that made her shake. Your digits ghosted the base of his spike and around the soft lips of her valve. You were drinking it all in. Finally you wouldn’t wait for what you wanted, and pressed your mouth to her wet cunt. Immediately he threw his head back, bucking his hips when your servo wrapped around his spike and started to pump it up and down in tandem with your soft licks.

Primus, there was a reason he chose you. For your smarts, your reliability, and so many other things. But the best treat of it all was how lovingly you tongue fucked her valve. She never lasted very long with you. Maybe it was for the best, as your spike leaked trans fluid and valve becoming slick as well. Red’s moans became louder and louder as she neared her overload. His servos found your helm and held it gently as you continued to lap and stroke his spike. Breathily Red Alert praised you.

“Feels so good~ I love that you make me feel this way.” Swirling your tongue around her node made Red arch his back, exhaling sharply. “Primus! So close-“ A few more aggressive kisses and curling your fingers around her spike just right, Red overloaded hard. His vents came hard and heavy as he released his transfluid all over his stomach and into your mouth.

Hungrily you licked it all up, cleaning Red Alert as well. He cooed to you softly and held your cheek. You had made him overload so hard and you deserved to overload as well. He kissed you deeply, tasting himself on your derma as he flipped you over and straddled your hips. Your gentle servos guided her hips over your spike and he gently caressed your face to make you look him in the eyes while he sank down on your spike.

Your digits gripped the berth, hanging on as his valve fit your spike just right. He drew moans from you just by sitting on your hips, it was too much.

“Still with me?” He chuckled a bit and kissed your helm, servos resting on your chassis. Her voice brought you out of the mind numbing pleasure and you nodded. Albeit a bit dazed and drunk on love. Your servos grabbed at any part of him you could, trying to ground yourself. When you finally did you looked down where the two of you were connected and grew warm.

“It’s always a pleasure to see us like this.” You muttered lovingly, making Red’s spark melt. He chose the right Conjux for sure. “You can move now.”

So she did, her calipers squeezing your spike and transfluids running over your bio lights. Red enjoyed the show of ecstasy on your face while he rode you. Spike hitting every part of his valve that made him shiver. He picked up the pace and your hands found his hips. Propping yourself up on your elbow you kissed Red Alert sloppily, trying so hard to stay in one place.

“Sweetspark if you keep going like this I won’t be able to hold back much longer.” The way your digits scrapped his paint made him chuckle, teasing you by swirling his hips. “Please.” You begged. Optics screwed shut in concentration. The way your spike jerked inside Red Alert made the two of you moan together. She leaned down and your chassis pressed together, groaning to you softly.

“Show me you love me.” The words made a growl start in your throat. It was thrown out with a deep, whimpering moan. At just the right moment your arms wrapped around his body, holding Red still as you pounded up into her. Transfluid already dribbling down your spike from her valve you began to fuck yourself stupid. Watching Red take you again and again made you whine into your lovers neck. Moans turning into grunts as you fucked both of you into overload. Your transfluid spilling into his valve you couldn’t stop until his calipers milked every last drop out of you.

With one final thrust Red collapsed onto you. Leaving the two of you venting hard holding each other on the berth. While he recovered you peppered Red Alert’s face with kisses and mumbled how much you loved him. After your spike depressurized and panels slid back into place you laid your lover on her side. She smiled at you and pulled you closer again not letting you leave.

“You did great Y/N.” His arms pulled you close and your buried your face into his chest, finding comfort in Red Alert.

“Mmm, couldn’t have done it without you.” Red laughed at your joke and kissed you softly again. Her humming spark lulling you back into recharge.

Whatever you needed him for, he’d be there.

[starry-skies-116]

Personality Facts +More- Samuel Lee Witwicky (AU):

Introverted Pisces INFJ, what more can I say?

Autism, hyperphantasia, alexithymia.

The type of person to drink tea in the morning, also the type of person to prefer picnics on a spring day when the weather hits JUST right-

Also, Samuel’s def the type of person to love white chocolate sm. It’s one of his safe foods. One of his other preferred safe foods are those sour lychee candies/gummies. He actually has a whole list, in fact: among them include mac n cheese, specific sandwiches he buys from the deli, cake, fried rice, mooncakes, pancakes, bread with sprinkles and butter, REALLY well-made hot chocolate, home-cooked hotpot, potstickers, ramen, boba, california rolls, etc. Basically anything that’s warm and comforting.

He does like to eat ice cream, though- but every time he, Mikaela and Heidi go to get some he literally orders the same flavor and toppings every time (god me too).

Stomps on crunchy leaves in autumn when he thinks nobody’s looking 😗

Has way too many house plants that his mother always lets die. He never figures out why they always seemingly revive and regain their vitality near his presence until later events.

Has two or three plushies, one of which he sleeps with (and then there’s Heidi with a whole ass army of them-)

Loves to stargaze at the night sky, daydreaming about the life beyond there and fantasizing/planning obsessively over how his interactions with them will go if he were the one to make first contact (don’t tell him any spoilers now shhshshshhssh-)

Uses lots of emoticons when texting, especially ones like ‘:)’ ‘:3’ ‘:D’ ‘:(‘ and ‘<3’

Perceived as a cat person because of how mellow, non-confrontational and demure he acts, actually loves all animals (drawn to dogs to put some energy in his life because mans fr mimics behaviors similar to a cat sometimes sssshhhhh ♥️)

Typos/spelling errors frustrate him immensely, though he does his best not to show it (it doesn’t work lmao)

Mikaela and Heidi are his next-door neighbors, as well as his friends since childhood: they met when they were all five. Their friendship began to develop slowly due to many other factors in their life, but as they grew older they began to have the opportunities to spend more time together. The events of them crossing their own fates with that of the Autobots only served to make them further inseparable and strengthen their bonds. 

They literally evolve from average supportive friendship still blooming awkwardly to ‘THIS IS MY BEST BITCH. WE ARE ONE UNIT. WE RIDE OR DIE.'

Sam primarily holds the role of the ‘default brain cell holder’ in the group. In other words, he holds the brain cell that they all share.

He’s also the shortest in the friend group, even though he’s average height and the height difference is in literal centimeters to the point where it’s barely noticeable (he’s 5’3/160 cm, Mikaela is 5’6/167 cm, and Heidi is 5’4/162.6 cm)

Elusive, enigmatic, secretive and reserved. Has all the traits of a leader and is decisive, despite being rather cautious and always opting for a peaceful solution. Strives to be kinder and wiser every day, so he can finally understand and truly connect with others. Prefers to keep things to himself- always shrewd and observant around people. Exceptionally prodigious beyond his years, master strategist, scientist and leader. He’s used to learning from his mistakes and making the best of bad situations, so he often denies any kind of pain he’s in no matter how severe it is.

That, or he literally does not recognize his pain at all. It takes him at least three to five business days at minimum for him to figure out his feelings and needs if those said sensations prolong for an extended period of time. If intense emotions flare up and then vanish just a moment after, it’ll fly right underneath his identification radar.

He’s sometimes prone to dissociative episodes to escape situations that remind him of trauma. Even with the AllSpark’s/Primus’s memories, anything that remotely triggers the traumatic parts of them causes him to slip into either a meltdown or a dissociative episode because of the emotions he feels and associates with them. Even when the memories are not Samuel’s… they still mean so much to him for no reason at all.

He spent his elementary and middle school years being homeschooled, and then the first time he’s ever been enrolled in public school was his Freshman Year.

His most exceptional traits are his curiosity, his compassion, and the sheer amount of effort he puts into trying to understand and communicate with others purely out of his kindness and care for people.

Samuel is very patient- however, that patience is born out of passivity. His lack of experience in social situations with those other than his friends, as well as a period in that time of bullying and ostracization, made him afraid to stick up for himself and to state his boundaries. When he came out to his parents and asked to transition on his thirteenth birthday, he was genuinely so scared that he was about to pass out.

As a result of his lack of socializing, he has a somewhat poor grasp of social interaction. His limited emotional expression and composed, impartial demeanor comes off as a bit eccentric and distant. Due to this, he admits to needing to study human emotions and ‘regular’ human interaction more. (autistic mood)

Sam loves to make either mental or physical note of things in his head that he deems of interest. Often, surprisingly they are odd but useful details that he somehow finds a way to utilize to his advantage.

Detests conflict, and always tries to negotiate and help people via kindness and not throwing hands. Despite the love he has and gives, he doesn’t really believe that he can ever protect anyone- not in a way that makes a difference. At the end of the day, all he wants is for people to get along.

Very observant of his surroundings- too observant. He jokingly refers to it as ‘gathering intelligence’, which isn’t too far off. Sensory issues essentially force him to pay attention to each and every little detail- but Samuel always insists that it’s fine, because ‘he’s used to it’ (shit explanation my guy-)

His favorite color changes from week to week- oftentimes it’s a whole color palette instead of just one color.

His camera roll isn’t really what you’d expect from someone as quiet and reserved as him: it’s full of cursed images, memes, stimboards, selfies of important moments with his friends, pictures of school notes and his workplace environment, and pictures of his dog.

He comes from a relatively wealthy family, but from the part-time jobs that he takes, he saves up money to buy more books, as well as anything that captivates him/immediately takes his interest hostage upon first glance (like I’m not kidding, it’s legit on-sight)

Whenever he’s captivated or genuinely, truly interested or enamored with something, he reacts like a cat in response to seeing shiny things. His eyes widen and get brighter, and his pupils dilate. He does barely noticeable stims (such as fiddling with his bracelet or jade pendant), and he leans closer, shuffling his feet to approach closer and closer without even realizing it.

He loves finding interesting rocks/geodes on occasion, and secretly making DIY-at-home jewelry at his part-time mechanic job with them and the equipment at his workbench. To get away with it, he arrives early, before his shift begins. He then shares the product with those he makes (whenever he isn’t burnt out): it’s his love language, finding cool rocks and making them into ‘socially acceptable’ gifts because he fears rejection sm 💔

Literally a sci-fi nerd. Gushes over shit like Star Wars and Star Trek and all that: has written novels and drawn fan art before, and basically died inside when Mikaela and Heidi discovered his stash in the closet when he was ten (bullied for his interests because other people can be assholes sometimes). He thought they both would leave him and never want to associate with him again, turns out they spent the next hour squealing over their blorbos, writing up headcanons/theories, and finding makeshift tools to cosplay characters.

Can’t relax his mind to save his life, honestly. There’s always a bottomless pit in his mind of ‘you are not doing enough, do enough so you can relax’ but it’s never enough. Whenever he’s restless, he fiddles with his clay bead bracelet or his jade pendant so that he doesn’t let his mind wander or race to places he doesn’t want it to go.

Low self-esteem, beats himself up for every mishap and mistake- (RSD guys, it sucks major ass-). Still has the occasional intrusive thought that nobody actually loves him, they just tolerate/ ‘put up with’ him, due to his childhood of being somewhat sheltered and socially ostracized by literally every kid except for his only two friends.

Even when he deadass has not only two friends, but a federal agent, the lead researcher of N.E.S.T, and a WHOLE GIANT FCKIN ROBOT ALIEN ARMY ready to straight commit WAR-CRIMES FRESH FROM THE OVEN FOR HIM at a MOMENT’S notice-

Dances as a hobby, loves to sketch scenery. He visits the city’s theater every other Saturday to greet and play with the kids living around that area who also come to visit. Community and connection is important to him, since he was deprived of several life experiences in his childhood.

As smart as he is, he desires nothing more than to learn with hands-on experience. He’s spent the entirety of his sheltered upbringing learning from books.

Literal GOD in the kitchen. He spent his entire childhood being somewhat sheltered, so he’s developed quite the pantheon of hobbies that he revolves his day around in his pastime. Baking sweets for others particularly makes him happy.

Living in symbiosis with the AllSpark embedded in your literal heart is… an experience, to say the least. Nevertheless, he finds a way to navigate the experience with the help of his family and friends.

Has a brotherly relationship with Bumblebee and it’s seriously one of the most wholesome things ever. Like seriously, when he called Bumblebee “gēge” on accident (“older/big brother” in Chinese), Bro just… had to physically resist the urge to straight up curl into a fetal position on the floor and cry pure joy. Mans was straight grinning from pure elation from one side of his visor to the other once he used his translators and realized what it meant-

Literally, Autobots like Ratchet and Optimus and Ironhide, etc etc… they will literally take ONE look at this guy watching the beat of a butterfly’s wings or something and immediately go: “mmmm yes he is very much son-shaped”

He can’t really read tone or social cues, ESPECIALLY when it comes to being directed at him. Whenever Jazz is being sarcastic or makes jokes that he can’t recognize the tone of, Samuel becomes so genuinely confused. And speaking of that, one of his habits when he’s confused and/or straining his mind to try and understand something, is to tilt his head and cross his arms with a finger raised to his lips to tap against it. Once again, it’s one of his stims that pops up when he’s trying really hard to discern an answer, or a proper way to navigate an unfamiliar situation with little clues.