#he’s a vampire

[rawrsatthetree]

“Oh Astarion looks old cause of trauma and stress”

HE’S A VAMPIRE. ARE YOU STUPID?!?!

Trauma and stress he experienced as a Vampire. Vampires don’t physically age. They’re frozen in time however they originally died. That’s like a big part of the vampire deal. He looks the same as the day he died.

Why are we still saying this he doesn’t even look remotely old.

[rainypebble07]

Will and Mike maybe as vampires

(they're not rich tho, they're broke vamps so no cool clothes or grace for them lol nerds in the afterlife for life)

Also heeeeeeey here's ice cream, cookies and cake 🎂 🍪🍨

Hello Hoodie! I can’t believe you robbed me of drawing cool clothes for them (just kidding just kidding it’s sillier if mike is in a cheap costume)! Also thank you for the sweets! Much appreciated!

uh also sort of CW for blood (it’s not even red though)

I’m obsessed with vampire Byler now I love them

[evanpetersbf]

my husband is so perfect 🎀

OMHSGAYSTAGS LOOK AT HIM OMGHSTSHAVS THE CURLS AND OFMSGAHAG HIS SMILE AND HIS OUTFIT AND THE VEINS???!?!?? AND EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM IS SO PERFECT LIKE WHAT THE FUCK I WILL NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE THAN EVAN.

[fang99o]

okay freak

[thegrandempressofinsomnia]

Helen : Don't stay up all night, Nikola. Last time you got this sleep-deprived, you tried to revive the entire vampire race.

Nikola : that’s what I always do

Helen : *pointed look*

[secretagentsagainstwhatever]

how can someone look so pretty…?

[un-salted]

just imagine vampire hunter remus and vampire sirius beating the shit out of each other, with bullet with butterfly wings by the smashing pumpkins in the background, until they have the most violent sex ever and instead of aftercare they just starting fighting again

[twiggy-ink]

i WANT that vampire to hurt me

[daily-stampy]

Day 158

[vampyr-bite]

why are we still having 'lestat is actually quite problematic because he’s an abuser :-/' discourse about a fictional vampire… in 2023…????

[marypsue]

Keep seeing that post where OP starts like 'Thinking about...grieving the undead' and then adds on about like. Real life situations where people have not died but have left your life and you would have reason to grieve them.

All respect, that's an important concept, but that is not what I am thinking about when I read 'grieving the undead'.

[wolfythewitch]

Offer me that deathless death

Oh, good God, let me give you my life

[shhhhimwatchingthis]

My favourite underrated thing about Louis de Point du Lac is that he truly is the least curious vampire to ever be made and he does not give fuck about vampires despite being one.

Its Claudia who goes to libraries, reads the folklore, tries to learn as much as she can and pushes Lestat for answers about who made him and where the others are. Claudia says Vampire Pride and Louis says hmmm Vampire Tolerance.

And Louis...truly does not care about vampire history,law, culture. He's never even thought to ask. There are vampire laws?...ok...Lestat never cared about them and he's not going to either, lol. He's broken a few and he will continue to do so. Oh you have a coven? he's not gonna join it, he's gonna do his own thing. but good for you good for you.

the 500+ year old Coven Leader, he's gonna call Louis, Maitre, actually.

He has fire powers? thats kinda cool. he'll learn that but only cause it lets him vent his feelings about Lestat.

Lestat and Armand say the name of the vampire queen in front of him and Lestat straight up says, "Louis has no idea who that is" and do you think Louis cares, outside of the fact that for some reason it means he can't kill Lestat? No! Do you think in the 77 years he's been with Armand he ever took 5 minutes to ask a follow up question? No!

Do you think he will care about Akasha in season 3? Doubt it! Outside of her obsession with Lestat, who is the only person left on the planet he seems to be able to filter Caring About This Shit through

He blatantly breaks the 3rd law and publishes a book about being a vampire and when the other vampires get pissed not only does he not apologise he literally sends them his location and says 'you wanna fight? lmao don't miss'

I love him. Daniel Molloy is gonna need to bring his A game because Louis will not be solving a single mystery next season, nor would it even occur to him to try.

[wanologic]

sorry danny, sam will never think you’re cool

[preciouslittle-bhaalbabe]

I need more of Astarion being an absolute undead fucking weirdo. No more suave charming elf man NO this man forgets to breathe for prolonged periods of time and randomly gasps or croaks because he can't speak without air in his lungs. He lurks in dark corners with weird reflective eyes and doesn't move until you notice him. He's SUPER into the scent of his lover and buries his face in their neck or chest while taking in a BIG snorf. He gets very affectionate when he notices his partner is on their period or is bleeding from other causes. He doesn't make noise when approaching someone and often scares the shit out of them because he just silently shows up behind them. He's addicted to the warmth of his partner and rubs his body against them like a cat. He makes animalistic grunts and moans while he feeds. He forgets to blink and just stares at people with wide eyes while they talk. He stares at his lovers pulse point instead of looking in their eyes. He growls when displeased. Sometimes he smiles just a tad too wide. He watches his lover sleep and waits for them to wake up for them to find him just staring them down, unblinking. He's a fucking freak and I love him to bits I need more weirdo Astarion.

[platoapproved]

What was that you said about memory? "A monster," was it?