#he would die before he puts his kid in a closed compartment
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cartwheelingintotraffic · 8 months ago
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Ares: I was pretty happy when you said you wanted to design and build the twin's cribs, but why is there only one ?
Ryker: Hehe... It's a surprise ;) Look closer...
Ares:...
Ares: Ryker ? Why is there a secret compartment in our baby's crib?
Ryker: So we can put the other one-
Ares: Absolutely not.
Ryker : But babe, look, it spins so we can rotate them-
Ares: ABSOLUTELY NOT.
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buttonsfleas · 1 year ago
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I am begging you please make more head cannons for Andy Barclay and his kid 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Alright ;)
Dad!
Andy barclay x !12!daughter!delilah!reader
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Dad and auntie Kyle are talking about some shit whilst I'm just listening to the Hamilton soundtrack through my earphones. I was on Non-stop and they were arguing Non-stop.
"I'm not a bad driver!" My dad says like he isn't, but he is. I'm suprised how he hasn't been arrested for suspection of a DUI yet.
"You are, dad." I say with a small smirk, but I knew I'd get in trouble.
"Thank you!" Aunt Kyle says happily with a smile. In most debates like this, I'd be on her side.
My dad was discombobulated at how I was on my aunt's side and not his.
My dad does have some pros and cons to his driving, but I just think there's more cons then pros.
As they tept talking, I kept thinking about my mother and her death. I saw her die when I was 4 and I can't belive I still remember. Her blood was gushing out of her stomach on the floor and my dad was heartbroken, I think he still is. I have nightmares from when she died. What if it happened to me? I don't think anyone could slaughter someone's daughter, but chucky would.
On the left backseat next to me was my pink bunny from when I was younger. My godmother from my mother's side got it for me when I was 2 years old and it's the only thing that's keeping me going.
We have boxes of my mom's stuff, but they're just at home. My favourite is her wedding dress when she had to marry my dad when she was 23 and he was 25. It was- wait, it is beautiful.
After a while, we got to a gestation and me and my dad just got out and leaned by the car whilst my aunt Kyle went into the convenice store.
My dad pulls my earphones out and smirks whilst I looked up at him surprisingly.
"Daaad! I was listening to Hamilton!" I say with a sad voice.
"Oh god, not that play where people from the 1800s rap! What is it with that musical anyways?" He asks with a irrated voice and smirk.
"It's a good musical!" I say innocently like I'm backing up thr musical more then my father.
"Maybe I'll have to see." He says with a sly smirk and then ruffles my hair up but I had the perfect French braid.
"Daaad! I spent 2 hours on this in the car!" I say with a sad and innocent but cute voice.
He chuckles softly and smirks and says "Just hold on a sec." And then grabs a hairbrush from the glove compartment of the car and then pulls the hair tie out of my braid and then he makes me hug him and he starts to brush it and braid it. It always felt nice when he did it for me.
I stayed still and quiet and just kept on hugging him as he braided my hair, thinking he'd take a while, but he actually did it under 4 minutes.
"Done." He said with a proud smile.
"Already!?" I ask as I look up at him whilst still hugging him.
"Yeah, kid. Think I forgot how to braid my daughter's hair?" He asked and chuckled softly.
"But I didn't know it'd be this quick! You took like 2 hours before each school day!" I ask as my suprisement turns into a smile.
"I only did that so I could spend more time with my angel." He then lifts me up and spins me around like when I was 6.
"Dad, stop!" I say whilst giggling softly and smiling as I kick around for him to stop.
"Alright, alright." He then drops me down and my aunt Kyle comes back out from the convenice store and walks over to us.
"What were you both doing?" She asks curiously, as my dad was still hugging me but I was being held up on my thighs.
"Just messing around. What's it to you?" my dad asks my aunt with a small smirk and then he kisses my check and drops me down.
"Well, here." She passes my dad black leather gloves and passes me the same.
My dad and I put on our gloves but he whispers to me "just get in the passenger seat." And I was confused.
I just nodded and got in the passenger seat and he got in the driver seat. After we both closed the doors, he leaned over and fully locked mine.
"Dad, what's going on-"
"Just trust me, baby." Hr said reassuringly.
My aunt then came over and knocked on the window after she tried opening the door and said irratatedly "haha, andy. Open the fucking door." But he wouldn't budge.
"Delilah, open the door." She said but I looked over at andy and he shook his head, so I shook my head at her but with eyes that said "I'm sorry".
As she tried getting in, my dad decided to just drive off and I felt bad but listened to the music on my earphones to drain the feelings out.
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randomfandomkizzy · 3 years ago
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idk if you did this yet but can we get a moondrop x gender neutral reader who wont leave their phone alone for a second during nap time at the daycare?
As someone who works at a daycare and has a REALLY bad habit of messing on my phone while the kids are sleeping. I felt this... Thank you for the request! Sorry it has taken so long :(
Moondrop/Sundrop x GN Reader
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It was nap time and all the kids were getting ready for their naps, either snuggled up in their cots already asleep or being put to sleep by the daycare attendants counter part. You sat in your assigned room with the kids and gently rubbed a little girls back to help her fall asleep all while scrolling through social media on your phone. You glanced up as Moondrop walked into the room holding a little boy who was practically drooling in his sleep, a visibly annoyed look on Moondrops face. He gave you a slight glare and motioned with his head for you to help him get the little boy settled down in his spot. You carefully got up and moved the blanket for Moon so he could set down the kid before you tucked them in. "Is that all of them?" He nodded and glanced at your phone. "Stay off your phone....It's Naptime..." You rolled your eyes and nodded "Fine, fine, I'll just stare at a wall for an hour and a half and hope that I don't die of boredom..." He gave you an unamused look before walking towards the door to leave. "Good."
You waited till he was completely out of sight before pulling your phone back out. Obviously you loved your job so you would occasionally set it down and make your way around the room to make sure everyone was sleeping okay but for the most part you stayed in your chair reading on your phone. You got a good twenty minutes of reading in your comfy chair till the hazy red glow of Moondrop appeared in the room again. You looked up at him with an unimpressed look, setting your phone in your lap. He towered over you with his arms crossed, tapping his foot in slight annoyance. "Naughty naughty..." You sighed and gave an over dramatic eye role. "I'm still watching the kids Moo-" However before you could even finish your sentence he had stretched his arm out and snatched your phone away, hiding it away in one of his many compartments on his body. "Wha-! What the fuck dude!" You stood up as you whisper shouted, carefully making your way over to him to attempt to find your phone. Thankfully you knew where some of their hidden spaces were, Sunny loved to hide some of your stuff from you and make it into a game however this time the game felt a bit more dangerous with Moondrop. You reached up but his hand immediately stopped you, looking down at you with a slight frown. "No. Phones." You groaned in frustration and attempted to pull your hand out of his grasp with your other to no avail. He snickered at your attempts to free yourself, watching in amusement. "This is embarrassing to watch..." You gritted your teeth and glared up at him, he's fucking lucky you love him so much. He let go of your hand and held up your phone above his head with his other, a comically large smirk plastered on his face. "I. Swear. To. God/Satan. If you don't give me my phone back right now I'm going to-" he leaned down, face inches from yours. "Do what?~ Tell Sunny? Fight me? No, starlight you are absolutely useless against me~" You glared at him with a faint blush. You were about ready to deck him in the shoulder when you both suddenly looked over at one of the kids who had sat up, tears rolling down their cheeks as they sniffed loudly. Moon glanced at you, knowing all he'd do is scare the little one if he came close to them while they were awake, So you walked over to child.
You crouched down next to the little girl who was crying, hugging her Freddy Fazbear Pizza Plex Exclusive Sundrop Plushie™ close to her chest. You wrapped an arm around her and gently rubbed her back as she leaned into you. "What's wrong little one?" She sniffed again before wiping her nose with her sleeve. "D-do you and Mr. Moon hate each other now?" Her question took you aback before you chuckled. "No of course not...He is just telling me to get off my phone, I was being a rule breaker" She nodded slightly as she glanced up at Moondrop. He had adjusted himself to lean over the two of you, looking her over with an unreadable expression. The little girl shrank back slightly before she yawned and closed her eyes, feeling safe in your arms. Slowly she started to fall back asleep on you. Once asleep you gently layed her down and stood up, running a hand through your hair. "Fine. You win. I'll stay off my phone..." He smirked, pulling you close to him. "Thank you.."
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I went back and forth on the ending a bunch, it's not nearly as good as it could be but I couldn't find a good way to end it without it seeming like it needed way more than I wanted to write. Anyways. Thank y'all so much for all the attention on my stuff! I absolutely love writing, I'm not amazing at it but I have good ideas...I hope you all enjoyed and feel free to request some more in the future. Thank you! Peace!!
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helaintoloki · 4 years ago
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Everybody Loves Somebody
pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader
warnings: slight language, themes of insecurity, angst, pining, slow burn (kinda?), eventual fluff, over 5k words in length
notes: it’s finally finished! this took forever but I swear I put my entire soul into making this as perfect as it could be. I’ve never used this format before in my writing and it was challenging but also super fun so hopefully you guys like it :) (also yes the title and the fic somewhat is inspired by the Dean Martin song)
summary: Thrown into a blind date against his will, Bucky does his best to prepare in the days leading up to Saturday night, a feat that proves to be much more difficult than expected thanks to his neighbor across the hall.
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Sunday
Three quick raps on the apartment door force Bucky to kick back the covers and sluggishly rise from his spot on the floor. He’s exhausted, but his recognition of the evenly spaced knocks on the wooden frame has him feeling compelled to answer, and so he does. Too tired to notice the television is still droning on in the background, Bucky idly wraps his discarded blanket around his form to shield his vibranium arm before opening the door to greet the old man standing on the other side.
“Rough night, huh?” Yori greets with a knowing smile.
“Something like that,” he replies with a tired, lopsided grin. “What are you doing here so early?”
“I set you up on a date,” the man says casually, as if setting Bucky up on dates without his knowledge and against his will is a common every day occurrence, and it is. “Saturday evening at six.”
“What— A date? Yori—“
“She’s a nice girl, very pretty. I think you’ll like her.”
“Now hang on a minute,” Bucky tries to interject, but Yori is already halfway down the hall before the super soldier can get another word in.
“You’re meeting her at the Italian place down the street!” Yori calls behind him. “She likes sunflowers!”
The old man’s shouts are sure to have woken up the entire fourth floor by now, but Bucky is too busy trying to process the jumble of information that has been thrust upon him so suddenly and so early in the morning to care. The last date Yori had sent him on had ended in disaster; Bucky wasn’t ready to get back out on the field, a stable relationship wasn’t in the cards for him. Surely no one in their right mind would stick around once they found out the truth about the man, and if they did it would only be a matter of time before the constant nightmares and extra baggage that came with dating the ex-Hydra assassin sent them running for the hills. But Yori meant well, Bucky knew that, and he also knew he owed the man more than he could ever give him in return, so if sitting through another painfully uncomfortable date would make him happy, then Bucky would just have to suck it up, put on the nicest shirt he owned, and charm his way through another awkward dinner.
“Sunflowers,” he grumbles to himself, quietly shutting the door before returning to his spot on the cold hardwood floor.
Monday
Monday mornings are gym mornings, early workouts that start at five and end at seven. He promptly returns to the apartment building at seven thirty, eight if he stops for breakfast, then goes to check the mail before heading back to the comfort of his sheltered apartment. He doesn’t receive much other than grocery coupons and an odd letter from the government every now and then, but he’s been told that a routine is good, it’s healthy, so on Monday mornings at seven thirty—or eight— Bucky pulls out his keys and opens his assigned metal box with a sense of indifference.
It’s eight o’clock on this particular morning, and with a half finished cup of coffee in hand the soldier opens the little metal compartment to find nothing other than stray specks of dust and the tiniest of spiderwebs in the top right corner of the box. It’s a familiar sight, but Bucky has learned not to let it bother him by now. Remember James, it has nothing to do with you, his therapist always said. You have to learn not to take things personally.
“It has nothing to do with me,” Bucky murmurs quietly before finally shutting his mailbox with a sigh. Coffee cup discarded in the nearby trash can, Bucky turns to make his trek towards the elevator only to stop dead in his tracks at the sight of a beautifully familiar face.
Your name is y/n, you live on the fourth floor, and for someone reason you’re always covered in glitter. You’re on your way out the door, art supplies held clumsily in your grasp just begging to jump free from your hold, and despite the rush you seem to be in you still greet the man with a polite smile.
“Good morning,” you chime, honey coated voice filled with warmth and kindness for the stranger. Bucky simply gives you a halfhearted smile in return, watching you walk out the door and wishing he could just muster up the courage to speak to you.
You won the soldier’s heart the day you knocked on his door to drop off a “welcome to the neighborhood” casserole. It had only been his second day in his new apartment, and while he knew some of the other tenants were weary of the mysterious man with the thousand yard stare who had decided to call the building a home, you never once seemed to bat an eye at Bucky or his closed off nature. He had been a little short with you upon your first meeting, his anxiety coming off as annoyance, but still you wore that same kind smile of yours and assured him that if he ever needed anything you’d be happy to help. You were a kind person with a big heart, and Bucky didn’t want to chance snuffing out one of the few lights left in the world, so he let you be. Admiring you from afar was all he let himself have of you, and that was it.
Though, Bucky would be lying if he said you didn’t come across his mind every once in a while. He wondered what you were like, what music you listened to, how you liked your eggs in the morning, if you were an old soul or young at heart, if you’d ever let yourself fall into in the arms of a broken man and help pick up the pieces. It was a pipe dream, but sometimes a friendly smile from you in the morning was enough to get Bucky through an entire day. He hadn’t been with anyone in years, and while he didn’t think he was ready to get back out on the dating scene just yet he knew that if you asked him to he’d take the plunge in a heartbeat. You were an angel, and Bucky would never be able to bring himself to taint you with his touch.
Monday mornings are workout mornings, but they’re also mornings with you.
Tuesday
On Tuesday afternoons Bucky often finds himself in the company of Yori, ensuring the old man stays out of trouble and going out of his way to make sure his newest friend has a nice day out on the town. It isn’t much, and it never will be, but it’s enough for now, at least until Bucky can find the courage to tell the father just what exactly happened to his son on that fateful night. But until then, sushi for lunch will have to do.
He makes his usual trek to the man’s apartment, stomach already beginning to rumble at the prospect of a nice crunch roll, but Bucky’s hunger is soon replaced with nerves at the sight of the woman standing in Yori’s doorway.
You look pretty today, hair haphazardly styled in your rush out the door this morning, colorful stains of dry paint adoring your hands that clutch a bundle of books close to your chest, and a dangly pair of earrings that glint underneath the sunlight pouring through the hallway windows. There’s a smile on your face as you nod along to something Yori says that doesn’t quite register in the soldier’s jumbled thoughts, and the two of you are both too engrossed to notice his lingering presence standing just a few feet away.
“Thank you so much for lending me these. The kids keep me on my toes and I haven’t had any time to settle down with a good book so these were perfect,” you utter gratefully, handing off the pile of poetry books to Yori’s awaiting hands. Names of authors that Bucky doesn’t recognize catch his eye, just as his friend finally catches his presence.
“Of course. I have more if you’re ever interested,” he says before finally addressing the elephant in the hallway. “James, there you are. I was starting to think you wouldn’t make it.”
Bucky stiffens at the sound of his name, heat immediately crawling up his neck as you turn to him with a friendly smile. Clearing his throat, he steps forward and musters up a meager grin in return.
“Like I’d ever miss Tuesday lunch,” he jokes, a nervous chuckle falling past his lips.
“I guess I better get going. Thank you again, Yori,” you chime with a grateful smile. Then, with your attention turned to Bucky, “Have a nice lunch, James.”
“Thank you...” he trails quietly, mentally kicking himself for his stiff demeanor and wishing he could be less pathetic in your presence just once. Just once and he’d die a happy man.
You leave with a polite smile, turning down the hallway and out of Bucky’s grasp once again. Yori elbows his side.
“She’s single, you know.”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” Bucky replies with a wry chuckle. “You have me set up with one girl already.”
“Right,” Yori notes thoughtfully with a knowing smile and a mischievous glint in his eyes that Bucky can’t quite decipher. “I think you’re going to have a nice time on your date.”
“We’ll see,” is all he says in reply, your smile the only thing on his mind as the two men head out for the day.
Wednesday
Bucky has grown to love rainy days, days in which he can remain tucked away in the warmth and comfort of his own home with a relaxing mug of hot chocolate in one hand and some piece of pop culture media he has yet to catch up with in the other. Today’s pick is a book titled The Outsiders, and Bucky chooses to sit upon the windowsill to read the novel.
Gentle drops of rain trail down the glass window, pattering soothingly in a way that makes Bucky fear he may fall asleep. He sets the book aside with a tired sigh and glances out the window with his warm cheek pressed against the cool surface; the city is quiet and the streets nearly empty, and this makes it easier to spot you.
It’s almost as if you’ve been popping up out of nowhere lately, but Bucky never seems to mind. Watch from afar, that was the deal he made with himself, so who was he to complain if you made the task easier for him? He could never have you the way he wanted to because he doubted you’d ever want an unstable old man like him, and even if you did he’d be no good for you. He knew girls like you back in his day, girls with stars in their eyes and hearts on their sleeves, girls who’d melt in his arms whenever he so much as smiled at them. And yet you weren’t like any girl he’d ever seen; you were an enigma and he wanted nothing more than to spend all of eternity deciphering the mystery of you. But he couldn’t, because he shouldn’t, so he didn’t.
Despite the gloomy gray skies hanging above you there’s a serene smile on your face as you stop to admire the pots of sunflowers outside the building, reminding Bucky he has to buy some for his date on Saturday. God, he was dreading it. Bucky was sure whatever girl Yori picked for him would be nice enough, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t sometimes wish it were you he’d be taking out for a night on the town. A guy can dream, right?
You retreat into a nearby coffee shop when the rain begins to fall harder, and as Bucky turns to his own warm drink he finds that the mug is now cold. Book discarded, he rises from his spot on the windowsill and drowsily drags himself into the kitchen for another cup.
For a moment he thinks sunflowers might surely bring about his demise, and the passing thought brings the smallest of smiles to his face. Only time will tell.
Thursday
“How are you feeling about your date on Saturday?”
The woman stares at him expectantly, pristine notepad resting casually in her lap, pen in hand as a warning, eyebrows raised at the man as he stares down contemplatively at the stitching of his leather gloves. What should be a comforting environment instead only seems to put him on edge, and as the seconds tick by on the clock hung crookedly above the doorway her pen only seems to get closer to the blank page below her. Shoulders sagging, Bucky can only offer a small sigh in response.
“I can’t say I feel too great about it,” he finally says, the tension in his shoulders alleviating slightly as she finally puts the pen down.
“And why’s that?” Doctor Raynor prods curiously.
“I just don’t really think I’m all that ready for a relationship. What person wants to be with someone as screwed up as me?”
“The right person will,” Christina comforts. Your smiling face flashes briefly in his mind in response and he shifts in discomfort— the doctor notices. “But I don’t think you’re telling me the full story here, James. I suspect there’s something else that’s holding you back. Or maybe someone.”
“That obvious, huh?” Bucky retorts with a wry smile.
“Who’s the lucky person?”
“Her name’s y/n,” he says, your name falling past his lips in the softest tone Dr. Raynor has ever heard from him before. “I don’t know her all that well, but she lives in my apartment building so I see her around a lot. She’s... she’s really pretty.”
“Well, what is it about y/n that you like?”
Geez, where do I even begin?
“I don’t know,” Bucky shrugs, picking absently at a loose seam on the end of his shirt, “I guess I like how friendly she is. Every time I see her she’s always smiling, she always says good morning to everyone and lends a hand wherever she can. It’s like she goes out of her way to be nice to me, and I’m not really used to that but it’s a nice feeling. The first time I met her she never even flinched, she wasn’t scared like other people usually are, and even when I blew her off she still made it clear that I was welcome and if I needed a friend she’d be there. That’s the kind of person she is.”
“Did you take her up on that offer?” The woman asks, but by the look on her face Bucky is sure she already knows the answer.
“No...”
“James, we’ve talked about this,” Christina says firmly, “you have to stop closing yourself off from the people around you. Making a friend could really help you, especially if this girl is truly as nice as you say she is.”
“She is,” he reiterates firmly, “and that’s why I can’t be her friend.”
The doctor’s brows furrow with piqued interest at his admission, legs shifting underneath her as she gets comfortable in preparation for what will most likely be a heavy confession. “Can you elaborate for me?” She says. Bucky sighs.
“After everything that’s happened, and everything the world has been through, it just gets harder and harder to find some sort of light in the dark. So when you finally do find it, it’s like you have to do everything in your power to make sure it never goes out.”
“So y/n is a light?” Raynor reaffirms.
“For so many people,” Bucky nods, “and if I try to put myself in the picture I’ll only bring her down. There’s no future with me, and she deserves better than that.”
“How do you know that if you never put yourself out there?” The doctor asks softly, silently stunned by the heavy confession Bucky has entrusted her with; it’s the most he’s ever opened up before.
Pieces of the past dart through his mind, and in the midst of all the heartache and the chaos he sees Yori, the one friendship he’s been able to successfully maintain since his period of healing. The memory of the man is pleasant for a moment, until Bucky is reminded of the basis of their friendship and how one single confession will tear down everything they’ve built together. It doesn’t matter what kind of man he is now or how much control he has over his own life, the Winter Soldier will always have the final say, and nothing will ever change that. Finally, he speaks.
“I just do.”
Friday
“Crap.”
The softly uttered curse sounds from across the hallway and alerts Bucky of his struggling neighbor’s presence. Purse slipping off your shoulder and heavy groceries spilling from your arms, you struggle to maneuver your key into the lock of your front door all while the heat of embarrassment engulfs your body in a suffocating hold. You’re not as put together as you usually are, your belongings in disarray and eyes full of exhaustion rivaling that of his own, your usually meticulously picked clothing replaced by joggers and an old college sweatshirt that’s three sizes too big on you, and yet Bucky still finds himself frozen in your presence.
Don’t just stand there, help her you idiot, his mind screams at him, the soldier harshly swallowing down his nerves before taking shaky steps towards you. An orange slips out of the brown paper bag and rolls towards his feet, and Bucky takes it as his in into a conversation.
“Need some help?” He asks with a crooked smile, one that softens at the look of distress clear in your eyes as you meet his gaze.
“That’s the understatement of the year,” you breathe out before offering a meager smile of your own. “Some help would be great, thank you.”
Bucky takes the heavier bags of groceries from your aching arms and returns the orange to its rightful place, allowing you the chance to take your keys and unlock the door. You don’t spare him another glance as you walk in, leaving it open as a silent invitation for him to let himself in. Bucky swallows nervously but wordlessly follows behind; he’s never been in a woman’s apartment before, and the fact that it’s yours makes the experience all the more nerve wracking.
Your apartment is small but personalized, decorated with little knickknacks and houseplants and old family portraits that Bucky does his best not to stare at in fear of being rude, and the vanilla scented candle that burns on the coffee table makes him feel all the more welcome. You drop your purse by the couch with a tired sigh before directing your attention to the man who stands awkwardly in your living room. His hulking figure makes your apartment seem tiny, oddly comforting in a way, but you hold back your giggles and merely guide him to your kitchen.
“You can set them on the counter,” you say with a passive wave before reaching into one of the cabinets for a glass cup. “Can I get you anything to drink?”
“No, thank you,” the man says politely as he settles the heavy bags down on the marble surface; as much as he’d like to sit and spend the evening with you, he can’t stay long, or more like he won’t allow himself to stay long. Your movements are clumsy as you down your glass of water, and Bucky looks away flustered as little droplets begin to escape the corners of your lips and dribble down your neck. “I hope I’m not overstepping by asking this, but are you alright? You seem a bit... flustered.”
“Is it that obvious?” You joke quietly, your smile barely reaching your eyes as you fidget with the sleeves of your sweater.
“I’m sorry,” Bucky begins to say in fear of overstepping, but you merely shake your head in response.
“I’m just a little stressed out. The kids always keep me on my toes, especially now that there’s more of them, and it’s been hard trying to get some of them to readjust.”
“Kids?” He repeats with furrowed brows. He can’t recall ever seeing you with any children, and there’s no sign of any living with you in your apartment. A genuine laugh leaves your lips this time at his response and Bucky tenses uncomfortably. Did he say something wrong?
“I’m a kindergarten teacher,” you explain with a smile, and everything clicks in Bucky’s mind then. That would explain the constant paint stains and trails of glitter left in your wake, the arts and crafts supplies and stacks of drawings you seem to carry with you everywhere. And here he thought your heart couldn’t get any bigger than it already was— were you even real?
“The effects of the blip have been really difficult for them. It’s hard having to come back to school and see that all your old friends are now five grades ahead of you. I know everyone has been impacted in some way by what happened, but it’s harder for the younger ones to understand. I’m doing my best to make the transition back to normalcy easier for them, but some days are harder than others, you know?”
“Sounds rough,” is all Bucky can manage to say, swallowing his emotions back harshly.
“Yeah,” you sigh quietly, rubbing away the clear exhaustion in your eyes, “but I’m trying my best.”
“Sometimes that’s all you can do.”
You smile then, a genuine smile, one that makes Bucky weak in the knees, and suddenly it’s as if all the weight has been lifted off of your shoulders.
“I really needed to hear that,” you utter softly, “thank you.”
“What are neighbors for?” Bucky jokes lamely, but you must like his sense of humor for you let out the quietest of giggles.
“You’re sweet. I like talking with you, but I won’t keep you any longer. I’m sure you’re a busy guy.”
“Not really,” he shrugs with a crooked smile, “I just had some errands to run before tomorrow.”
“What’s tomorrow?” You ask curiously, brows raising with interest as Bucky awkwardly looks down at your hardwood floor.
“I’ve got a date.”
“Huh, no kidding. Me too,” you smile, and in response Bucky’s heart slowly begins to sink to his stomach. Yori had said you were single, but only an idiot would believe that someone like you could stay that way for long. Maybe if he had taken the doctor’s advice sooner he could be the one you’re seeing instead of the lucky guy that beat him to it.
“I should get going... I’ll see you around.”
“Thank you again for the help, and good luck on your date,” you say with an encouraging smile. Bucky swallows harshly in response, a look of longing in his eyes that he hides well with a meager quirk of his lips.
“You too,” he murmurs in response, casting you once last glance before showing himself out. The lock clicks behind him, and Bucky trudges back to his own empty apartment.
Saturday
The dining patio of the Italian restaurant is pleasantly empty, but the quiet stillness does little to help soothe Bucky’s nerves as he waits for the arrival of his date. He probably should have asked Yori what she looked like, what her name was and what she’d be wearing so he’d know what to expect, but the old man had been adamant on keeping the identity of his date a surprise.
“It’ll be better that way,” he had said, “trust me.”
The bouquet of sunflowers sits before him on the table almost tauntingly, their bright colors and sweet scent sending his senses into overdrive. He almost resented them, but then he thought of your smiling face through the window and the tension from his shoulders began to dissipate— if you could be strong and put on a brave face despite all the bad things that had happened in the world, then so could he.
“James?” A meek voice calls quietly, pulling the man from his thoughts. His blue eyes widen in surprise at the sight of the woman standing before him and he swallows anxiously.
“Y/n?” Bucky replies, quickly rising from his seat and cringing at the way in which the legs of the chair scrape harshly across the floor with his sudden movements. Here he thought you couldn’t get any more beautiful, and here you were proving him wrong with your cute little outfit and styled hair and charming smile. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m here for my date,” you explain with a sheepish smile. Bucky deflates— not only would he have to suffer through his own painfully awkward date, but he’d also have to sit and watch you get swept off your feet by someone else all in the same night.
“Oh... well, who’s the lucky guy?”
“That’s the thing,” you say with a nervous laugh, “I think you are.”
“Me?” Bucky repeats flabbergasted. “What do you mean?”
“Well, Yori was the one who said I should try dating again. He thought it would be good for me to spend some time with other adults since I’m always with my students, and when I said I didn’t really know anyone he told me he’d take care of it for me. All he told me was to come to this restaurant Saturday at six and look for the man with sunflowers,” you summarize before gesturing to the bouquet on the table, “and you’re the only one here with sunflowers so...”
A disbelieving laugh leaves Bucky then at the realization, and he isn’t sure whether he should jump for joy or wait for the ground below to swallow him whole. Finally he had a chance to spend time with the girl who had taken over his thoughts and occupied every available space in his heart, and yet he couldn’t help but feel terrified. A date was a big step up from neighborly conversation in your apartment, and all of Bucky’s hopes of developing something more with you were riding on this one date. Yori knew exactly what he was doing by setting the two of you up, and Bucky had no choice but to be grateful for the man who had bestowed upon him the chance to finally win you over.
“If this is too awkward for you we can just skip this whole date—“
“No, it’s not awkward at all,” Bucky is quick to interject. “I mean, this whole thing is certainly a surprise but it’s a good one. It’s an honor to be your blind date.”
He flashes a charming smile that makes you weak in the knees, and he knows then that he’s back in the game— who would have guessed he’d be able to dust off his old moves with such ease? He had to if he wanted any kind of chance at winning you over.
“In that case, why don’t we get out of here? This restaurant is a little stuffy,” you note with a small chuckle, your nerves slowly beginning to dwindle.
“Alright, what do you have in mind?”
The nightlife atmosphere of the plaza square is surprisingly much more comfortable compared to the dining patio, and Bucky considers himself the luckiest man alive to be able to witness firsthand the way your eyes seem to sparkle with the light of the starry sky. A nighttime stroll is right up Bucky’s alley, and you both fall into a comfortable step as you talk about whatever topic seems to come to mind. You speak of your students, about how much their smiling little faces have helped you get through the toughest times, how there’s a stray cat who calls the dumpsters behind your apartment building a home and waits for your arrival on trash days because you always bring the feline a special treat. Alpine, you had named it, and Bucky adored that greatly.
The details are vague but you enjoy the stories he tells you of his childhood and the way his whole face seems to light up at the mere mention of his mother and sister; that look dwindles slightly when he speaks of his old best friend, but you pretend not to notice. As a younger man Bucky worked at the docks before serving time in the army, though he fails to mention where he’d been stationed, and now he works for the government. You feel almost giddy to be learning so much about the man you once believed would rather prefer solitude over your company, and as the night drags on and the conversation begins to dwindle you almost wish you could reverse the clock and do it all over again.
“Thank you,” Bucky says after a moment of silence, prompting you to halt your steps and raise a brow curiously at your counterpart.
"What for?"
“Taking a chance on a guy like me,” he smiles faintly while offering you a sheepish shrug of his shoulders. “I haven’t really done anything like this in a while, and the idea of putting myself back out there scared me shitless, but you just make things so much easier. I guess what I’m trying to say is when I’m with you everything comes naturally, and I really appreciate that.”
“Oh,” you utter softly, a sheepish smile of your own gracing your lips as you turn away to admire the scenery around you. It isn’t until now that you notice you’ve stopped before the fountain, the arches of water flowing overhead illuminated by the fluorescent lights below them. A nervous fluttering occupies your stomach and when you finally meet Bucky’s gaze you feel as if nothing else in the entire world mattress other than the two of you in this moment. “Well, if it makes you feel any better I’m kind of in the same boat, so that just means we can figure this out as we go. Together.”
“I like that,” Bucky affirms with a nod, a look that can only be described as lovestruck taking over his features. Nerves overcome you then as you clutch your bouquet of flowers to your chest, heart thrumming rapidly in your rib cage as Bucky steps closer. The glove that had once shielded his right hand from the cold is now missing as he gently cups your cheek and encompasses you with his warmth. His palm is calloused and rough but comforting all the same, and it takes everything in your power not to melt like putty in his grasp.
“Is this okay?” He murmurs quietly as if raising his voice any higher will ruin the moment.
“Yeah,” you breathe shakily, swallowing back your nerves, “it’s okay.”
Your softly uttered words of confirmation are all Bucky needs to hear before dipping down and gently brushing his lips against your own. His movements are hesitant for only a moment, and it is only once he’s sure you are comfortable and secure that he moves in for more. Your lips are soft against his own, plush and warm and so sweet, and as your eyes begin to flutter shut and the forgotten sunflowers slip out of your grasp you drape your arms securely across his shoulders at the same moment in which his left hand joins his right in cupping your face as if you were a precious jewel in need of the upmost care.
Nothing exists when you are in each other’s arms, you are safe and sound in your own little world, and as you part to take a breath Bucky realizes then that one kiss is all he needs to know that you are the one he’s been waiting for all his life.
And by god, if you aren’t more than worth the wait.
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harrypotter-imaginess · 4 years ago
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A/N: I got a tiiiiny bit of power and my first thought was my need for validation through my fanfiction lol. Hope you enjoy!
<This is Part 1!> / Part 2 Here!
- You’re in the middle of a blizzard, reading to pass the time, the power cuts in and out- giving you just enough time to scramble about trying to make your home just warm enough so you don’t freeze to death
- You sigh when it flickers off again, taking a sip from the hot drink you managed to make while you still had electricity
- Eyes turn back to the book in your hands, with the poor cell reception, and lack of television you’ve found the only thing you can bear to do it read and sleep
- Only occasionally withdrawing from both to eat whatever cold meal you can
- You’ve settled on reading the Harry Potter books, easy enough to read, even in your current condition
- The books are waterlogged, in terrible condition, you treated them quite rough when you were a child, though not all the blame is yours
- It’s an eclectic group, some hardcover some paperback, some borrowed from friends and never returned, some you got as a good deal at your local used bookstore
- You smile when you see all the parts with Fred and George are highlighted
- They always were your favorites
- You stiffile a yawn, you’re just getting to a good part-
- But a small rest won’t hurt will it?
- You feel your eyes drift close
- When they open again you’re looking at rolling hills, a wisp of steam curling into your view every so often
- Huh what a nice dream
- You close your eyes again only to feel a sharp sting in your neck that your eyes shoot open
- You don’t feel pain in dreams
- You’re in a train compartment an empty red bench in front of you
- You’re alone, the green hills rolling by outside the window
- You’ve seen this type of scenery before maybe in a movie, or a book-
- It looks a lot like something out of Harry Potter
- Your thoughts come to an abrupt hault, the memories slowly filtering in
- You’re a witch- your parents passed away in the first war, and you were brought up by your muggle godfather
- Don’t be mistaken, this isn’t some unfortunate Harry-Potter orphan story, your god father loved you a lot
- Even though he was a bit of a sl*t, the revolving circus of women that left his room every Sunday was practically your childhood form of television
- You even did a report on it in muggle school, high left several faculty members feeling concerned
- Still he loved you a lot, and he tried to be as honest as he could about your heritage, and your parents
- But well- he was a muggle, there was only so much he could do
- Still, he took you to kings cross himself, taking you to your gringott’s safe where your parents meager savings had increased by ten fold over the years, helping you pick your wand and books
- “Now I can’t go with you onto the platform, so write and let me know when you’ve reached safely alright?” You nodded, as he pulled you into a hug
- “I’m going to miss having you home”
- “But now you can bring women to the flat whenever you want” You were only joking but it makes him sniffle
- “I’d trade all of that to have you at home for just a few more years”
- You only pat his shoulder reassuring him you’ll be back during the holidays
- You had tried your hand at a few spells, but nothing drastic
- You were excited to see what Hogwarts would bring, what you might learn, and the friendships you might build
- You were so excited that you didn’t sleep all night, finally succumbing to a nap when you collapsed in an empty compartment
- And that brings you to the present, where you’re practically sweating buckets in the red bench.
- Okay, so you’re in Harry Potter now- some how
- And yeah, you’ve always kinda wished you could go to Hogwarts-
- But not like this!
- For one every book, like 3 kids die
- Even the cute ones, like Collin Creevey-
- And honestly if a main character like Fred Weasley died, what chance do you have at surviving?
- You’re probably just one of those nothing characters that dies at the battle of Hogwarts- if not sooner
- You look down at your hands
- Not to mention you’re suddenly eleven years old
- How many times did you have a nightmare you suddenly had to go back to middle or high school again because apparently you missed a class?
- Well this is like a nightmare come true
- You look under your shirt, holding the neck out only to sigh
- It’s your body still, you vaguely remember looking like this when you were younger
- But god-
- It’s like a strangers body at this point
- Ugh you don’t have time to think about this
- your goal right now is to survive
- A knock on your door pulls you out of your thoughts
- “Change into your robs, we’re getting close” a muffled voice says from the other side and you sigh
- Of course you are
- You sigh as you pull out your plain black wizards robe, almost looks like a graduation gown to be honest
- And that’s the uniform here is it
- Strange
- As you tug on the sleeves you think how you’re going to get out of this
- If you’re right the year is 1990, a year before Harry Potter shows up
- Okay so as far as you know- nothing really happens this year
- You don’t have to worry about all the Pureblood crap because both your parents were wizards, so you’re a half blood at least
- Now it’s all about house-
- If the books are 100% accurate then it’s between Slytherin and Gryffindor, Snape will turn a blind eye to any of your transgressions because of favoritism
- And McGonagall would go to bat for you if the circumstances were unfair
- Still- the Slytherin house seemed problematic what with the old money in that group
- Not all of them were probably like that- just the most prominent characters- you’d really rather not get involved with all that if you could
- And then- Gryffindor was even worse, you might be safe this year, but next year you would be plagued with death flag after death flag- no thanks
- Sprout seems nice enough, but you’re not too sure about that common room, in the dungeons- hard pass
- That leaves Ravenclaw, Flitwick seems nice enough, and the dorms are in a Ravenclaw tower
- Luna Lovegood will be there soon, and well, that could be pretty fun
- So you’ll try for Ravenclaw you think- pulling on your bag and joining the horde of students
- You’re about to join the other first years when you feel a tug on your bag.
- You turn towards the feeling to see two identical boys, a splatter of freckles across their nose, and flaming red hair
- “Are you (Y/N) (L/N)?” The taller of the two asks, a grin curled onto his lips, and his eyes full of stars
- You only nod
- They’re both looking at you like they’ve just seen a movie star and you can’t figure out why
- You’re only eleven years old after all, what could you have possibly done?
- “Was you Mum-“ the shorter starts
- “Was she the famous auror?” The other finishes
- Ah- of course
- Your mother was indeed a famous war hero, known for her noble efforts during the war
- Your god father had told you that at least
- “I’m George, and this is Fred” the shorter - George- says jerking his thumb to his twin
- Oh
- So they’re Fred and George Weasley?!?!
- Honestly you should have known by the red hair
- You can’t believe you’re meeting some of your favorite characters
- You stick your hand out, hoping it’s not too sweaty
- “(Y/N),” you say, “but you already knew that”
- George grins as he takes your hand first, with Fred repeating the motion
- “What house do ya think you’ll go to?” Fred asks
- “We hope you’re aiming for Gryffindor” George adds with a sly grin
- You can feel your face warming up under their gaze
- Alright- change of plan- you’ll try to get into Gryffindor so you can be friends with George and Fred
- It’ll be a little risky, but until the end they weren’t really in any of the serious adventures.
- Besides maybe if you hang out with them, you can save Fred near the end
- “Maybe” you smile at them, hearing a voice call your name for a carriage
- “See you around!” You wave goodbye, stepping into you assigned carriage with a group of other first years
- It’s sort of a mismatch, you don’t quite recognize anyone in here
- Than again the children an age above Harry were never really mentioned
- “Ugh I can’t believe my glasses broke, what rotten luck” a girl besides you says- you turn to see a girl with long dark hair, fiddling with a pair of broken glasses in her hands
- “Ah here, can I?” You ask, holding out your hand, and the girl wordlessly hands you her glasses
- Your murmur a spell and watch as the metal expands curling until it wraps around the broken edge, resembling intertwined vines
- “It’s not the best, but it’ll do for now”
- It’s only when you look up to hand the girl back her glasses that you notice everyone’s watching you
- “How did you do that?” A boy asks, and you shrug
- “Oh well I just said the incantation-“
- “I’ve never heard that one before” another girl murmurs
- You shrug again
- “Anything can be an incarnation of you just put enough feeling into it right?”
- The children clamor at you all at once
- It turns out the two girls were Susan Bones and Hannah Abbott- both Hufflepuff’s if you remember correctly
- Guess they were a year older than Harry in this world
- And then the boy is Blaise Zambini
- You know in the books he’s in a morally Grey area at best.
- “So like this?” He asks and you shake your head
- “You have to put your wrist into it more”
- But now, as he’s begging you to teach him the repairing charm that you cast, all you see is a little boy who wants to learn
- Change of plans, if you get into Slytherin maybe you can watch over Blaise and be his best friend
- That way he won’t get all mixed up in that Death Eater crap
- Maybe you can even get him onto your side, make a coven of witches and wizards and do some non-alignment stuff during the war
- You’re all gathered in the hall, answering a roll call from a rather lithe and strict woman- professor McGonagall no doubt
- After that you’re left waiting, and feeling somewhat bored, and somewhat like you may have had too much pumpkin juice- you hobble off into the corridor looking for a bathroom
- “Hurry back I think we’re about to go into the sorting ceremony” Blaise says and you nod
- You do not, in fact, hurry back
- Because after relieving yourself- you are incredibly lost
- It doesn’t help that all the portraits keep on shuffling around, or that all the corridors here look equally dark
- It’s only on your third time around the portrait of a woman eating an apple do you see what appears to be a person
- “What are you doing in the corridor?” As you come closer you realize it’s a boy, a yellow and black striped tie around his neck. “Shouldn’t you be at the feast?”
- He’s quite pretty, with thick brown hair and rosy cheeks
- “I went to the bathroom and got lost,” you hear him murmur first year and raise an eyebrow “What’s your excuse?”
- He lets out a laugh, running a hand through his hair
- “That’s fair,” he admits. And then after a moment he says:
- “I’m hiding”
- Your eyebrows thread together
- “Like from a crazy ex lover or..?”
- He laughs again, shaking his head
- “No, from my professor.” And then after a moment, before you can ask ‘is it because you’re having an affair with them’ he says:
- “They want me to be prefect for my house next year, and I don’t know how I feel about that”
- You let that sink in,
- “I know I should do it- it would give me an opportunity to represent my house, and look out for all my friends, and I’m sure my dad would be awfully proud but-“
- But it’s a lot of responsibility
- You get it.
- You sit beside him on the floor
- “You should do it-“ and before he can give a reason why you say:
- “You would get your own bathroom and I think that means a lot in a place like this”
- He laughs again, only this time the laugh leaves in loud gaffs, somehow you feel like this is the first real laugh the boy has shown you
- “I’ve heard a lot of reasons, but having my own bathroom is definitely a first”
- He looks at you in a way that makes your hair stand on end and your skin feel hot.
- “I’m Cedric, Cedric Diggory.” He says with an extended hand
- Ah, so this is pretty boy Diggory.
- He does kinda look like a young Robert Pattinson to be honest
- You take his hand in yours giving a firm shake
- “ (Y/N) (L/N) “ and you see his eyebrows shoot up
- “ (L/N) like the-“
- “ Yeah that’s my mum, the famous Auror”
- Cedric’s mouth curls up in a lopsided grin
- “I was going to say inventor- the inventor for the portable infinity box”
- Ah yes, your dad was an inventor. You didn’t know much about it though. Just that his inventions had left you a small fortune
- “My parents were both pretty remarkable huh?”
- And even though they’re not really your parents, and this isn’t really your body, you feel a little sad thinking about them.
- Before you can give Cedric a chance to offer his condolences, you stand up brushing off your robe.
- “We’ll come on Mr. Prefect in the making, show me to where I’m to be sorted” you say with a wave of a hand
- He grins
- “As you wish”
- Maybe being in Hufflepuff wouldn’t be so bad,
- and if you can manage to get close to Cedric, maybe he’ll let you use the prefects bathroom
- Huh, that does sound enticing
- Okay change of plans, you’ll get into Hufflepuff
- For the nice bathroom privileges
- When you get into the hall you feel all eyes turn to look to you
- And even though you’re an adult, you feel awfully embarrassed
- “If you get in Hufflepuff let’s get a butterbeer to celebrate, my treat..” Cedric whispers in your ear, and you catch a glimpse of the lopsided grin curled onto his face before he pushes you forward towards the group of first years
- Your face still feels hot when your name gets called
- You gulp as you move towards the chair
- Well it’s do or die- and you don’t plan on dying here
- You gulp again as the cold wood presses against your thighs as you take a seat
- All you have to do is ask for it to put you in -
- Wait
- What house were you aiming for again?
- Logic dictates Ravenclaw, it’s your best chance-
- But well, you’ve always wanted to be friends with Fred and George it just seems like so much fun
- And then, Slytherin’s not so bad, it would be nice if you could change peoples opinions about that house
- Oh and Hufflepuff might be nice too, you would have someone to look out for you- and you in turn can look out for others like Susan and Hannah
- And so it seems you’ve made peace, no matter which house the hat chooses, you’re happy with the outcome because there’s good and bad in all of them
- These things aren’t one dimensional, they nuanced. And that’s okay
- You feel the hat place on your head, and several long moments of silence pass
- .
- ..
- ...
- ....
- Shouldn’t something be happening by now?
- Like at least whispers in your ear from the hat or something right?
- “I-“ it finally chokes out
- Ah good a decision
- Well what’s your future going to be like?
- “I don’t know” the hat finally sputters, a collective gasp filling the room
- You drop your face into your hands, as small murmurs begin to spread through the tables
- “F*ck me” you mumble
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coffeecakefanfics · 4 years ago
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A moments glance | B.B x Fem!Reader
Requests are open!!!!!
Summary: Bucky misses the feeling of human connection, both emotional and physical, so does Y/N. After a particularly brutal mission the two can deny their want any longer 
Warnings:  Language, angst? SMUT! (probably badly written but oh well)  This fic is a lot longer than I wanted but it’s worth it I promise.
Missions are normally pretty easy.  Luckily it was the dream team that got stuck on this mission together.  Sam, Bucky, and Y/n stood around a base layout, making a plan as to how to get this mission to sail smoothly. It was a simple job, repo a plane that had been stolen and return it to the owners, aka the fucking US Military. 
“So Y/n has pilot knowledge so if we can get through the fence and to it she can fly it back here to base, easy,” Sam explained the plan to the soldiers. 
“Sam and Bucky will go with me as my second hands and eyes, be my body guards,” Y/n nodded and looked up. “This is an easy job so it shouldn’t take long, maybe a couple hours, but stay on standby in case force is needed,” the woman stood straight and tapped her fingers on the table.  The crew split into the groups, taking their places.  Sam sat in the drivers seat of the car while Y/n sat in the front and Bucky was stuck in the back. 
“We’re here, everyone ready?” Sam asked and threw the car in park.
“Are we ever ready?” Bucky snarked and stepped out.  The three were greeted by a fence with barbed wire across the top. 
“Can we break it down?” Bucky looked between the two.
“That my dear would be destruction of property, a charge none of us can afford right now,” She huffed and opened the backseat, pulling the floor mat out. 
“What the hell are you doing with that?” Sam looked at the girl as if she was crazy.
“Throwing the mat over the wire?” she furrowed her brow and tossed the mat over the fence and scaled it. 
“Coming? or am I leaving you two dummies for the birds?” she smirked. 
“Ha ha very funny,” Sam snarked back. 
“This guy,” she smiled playfully at Bucky, who in return smiled back, a small one, but a smile. 
“There she is, look at this beauty,” Y/n motioned to the plane.  The three climbed in, starting the engine. 
“Bucky once we’re in the air I want you to contact the air force and tell them their plane is on it’s way,” she spoke calmly as she started down the runway. She was setting up controls when Bucky’s voice broke their silence. 
“Uh guys? I think we got company,” a black SUV sped down the runway, stopping before two guys stepped out wielding guns. 
“Pull up!” Sam yelled the girl.
“I’m trying,” she yelled back, the plane getting closer before finally taking off. The firing followed them up into the air. 
“Looks like we’re clear,” Y/n took a breath.
“There’s probably a reason they didn’t want us taking the plane,” Bucky commented.
“If I had to guess, drugs, I mean the air force tests flights so much that nobody bats an eye, especially at fort carson,” the woman nodded. “Sam can you check all of the compartments?” she looked back at him. 
“Yeah, of course,” he tipped his head and began opening the compartments lining the walls, bags of cocaine spilled out of an overhead bin.
“Oh shit, that’s thousands of dollars worth of hard drugs right there,” she peered back at the mess.
“yeah no shit, what do we do?” 
“Get on the comms and alert them of what’s happening”
“on it” 
The blaring sound took over their voices. 
“What the hell is going on?” Bucky asked
“We’re losing altitude, buckle in for a crash landing”
“I’m sorry what?!”
“Do it!” she barked “Sam jump and get to the base, let them know what happened, go now!” she was barking orders at them.  
“I’ll hurry back” Sam called and jumped, catching wind just in time.
“So what are we just going to die?”
“No, not if I can help it. But we are going to have to drop into the mountains, so hold on to something,” she gave him a sympathetic look.  The plane crashed down into the mountain, losing the wings in the process.  The two climbed out, seemingly unharmed. 
“So what are we just going to sit here and wait?” Bucky looked at the girl.
“I’m afraid so, we can’t risk moving, they won’t find us,” she huffed and slumped against an aspen tree.
“Great,” Bucky huffed and sat across from her, against a fallen pine log.  The two sat in silence for a few minutes, the ringing in their ears taking over. 
“Have you ever been this far west?” Y/n asked. Bucky peeked up at her. Sighing he tossed a rock to his left. 
“No, at least, not that I can recall,” he looked back at the dirt. 
“It’s pretty, Pikes peak is worth the view, if you ever get to go,” she cleared her throat, awkwardness settling in. 
“You been?”
“Yeah, I uh, I grew up here, in springs, that’s why I knew about the fort carson stuff.  They always test fly and they take kids for rides sometimes.  also teach kids how to pilot when they reach a certain age,” she trailed off. 
“Military brat?” 
“Yeah” 
“I never knew that,” he looked at her, really looked at her.  He noticed how she sat with her knees up, but her shoulders slumped.  Her she chewed on the inside of her lip.
“I never really told anyone,” she shrugged,”You know we have worked on the same team for I don’t know how many years and yet I feel like I hardly know you,” she remarked. Bucky swallowed the lump in his throat. 
“I don’t really open up to people, it’s not something I do,” it was his turn to chew on his lip.
“I get it, you up walls, try and protect yourself. . .”she trailed off, a soft rustling in the brush caught her attention. She held her finger to her lips and slowly stood, Bucky following her move.  The two crouched and ducked behind some bush.
“They couldn’t have gotten far, move,” a mans voice barked. Y/n looked at Bucky with wide eyes.  Bucky scanned the are before nodding to a path, they crept their way over, carful not to make too much noise. One they had gotten far enough away they stood straight and starting sprinting.  
“The guys that hijacked the plane?” She asked.
“That’s my guess,” he shrugged. 
“Bucky I need to stop,” she panted, trying to catch her breath.
“We’re probably far enough away,” he slowed to a stop.  
“I’m sorry,” she took a ragged breath
“It’s fine, not all of us are, what do you like to say? built different,” he cracked a smile.  Y/n smiled back at him before they broke off into laughter.
“You remembered that dumb saying?”
“I try to remember them all, I’m trying to make my place in this world, and if that means learning the lingo then I guess I have to”
“Must be hard,” she stood next to him, “trying to get used to this”
“you have no ide-” a gunshot and a scream of pain cut him off. His eyes shot in the direction of the shot before landing on the girl, crumpled on the forest floor. 
“Shit” he scooped her up and started sprinting west. 
“Shit shit shit, hey doll, if you can hear me keep  your eyes open you hear,” he peeked down at her. She was clutching her stomach.
“Tell me something, tell me about, tell me about your house of a kid,” he scrambled to find anything to talk about.  
“yellow,” she breathed,” it was yellow” He caught sight of a cave and ducked into it. 
“keep going”
“It had, two floors and an attic, the uh, the upstairs had a balcony,” she took deep breaths.  Bucky pulled out a knife and cut the bottom of his shirt, putting pressure on his wound. 
“Bucky?” she looked at him as close as she could
“yeah?”
“What was your favorite part about the forties?”
He laughed. “The stupid dive bars, going dancing,” he thought for a second.
“Were you any good?” Y/n teased.
“Oh please, look at me, I was the best,” he said, jokingly cocky. The silence took over.  The only sound was a ragged breath every now and then.  Y/n Held her phone up. 
“Nothing,” she felt tears well up in her eyes.
“Bucky?” She got his attention.
“yeah Y/n? what’s up?”
“If i’m going to die today, can I at least get to know you before I go?” she asked
“Listen to me, and you listen to me good, you ain’t dying today got it?” he spoke sharply, but with concern laced and weaved in his voice. 
“In my jacket is a pack of matched, I saw some twigs and pinecones at the opening of the cave, grab them, make a fire, please, i’m freezing,” she pleaded.  Bucky didn’t say anything as he obliged.  The small fire illuminated the walls, but was small enough that they wouldn’t be spotted.  Bucky sat across from Y/n, he watched as she scanned the walls. 
“Mica,” she spoke plainly. 
“Yeah, ton of the shit too,” he kind of huffed, looking around.
“They used to make windows out of it, for cars and shit, also dry wall, but most importantly it used for stuff like spark plugs,and electronic components like compasses during world war 2 ” she stated, half heartedly. Bucky looked at the girl shocked.
“Yeah, thats- how’d you know that?”
“Grandpa fought in the war, told me all kinds of stories before he passed, also taught me about minerals and stuff before he passed too, he and dad used to take me camping, they’d teach me how to hunt, farm, fish, find and purify water, which berries and shrooms are good to eat, case I ever got lost,” she laughed and winced at the pain.  “I miss them,” she sighed.
“Those are good skills to have,” Bucky smiled at her. He went silent.  It had been a few hours, no sign of anyone.  He looked at Y/n, she didn’t look great, she was pale, she was growing tired. He didn’t want her to be miserable, or to die not knowing him. 
“My name is James Buchanan Barnes, I was born March 10th 1917, I have a younger sister named Rebecca, we called her Becca,” He spoke up.  Y/n looked at him with a smile and nodded him on to continue, “I’ve always wanted a cat, and if I could have kids i’d want a daughter, I’d name her Scarlett,” he stammers on. The young woman listens attentively.  Her breathing became slower, more strained. 
“no no no, don’t fucking die on me,” he jumped over to her, clutching her wound. “Please, I barley know you, I want to know more,” he pleaded.  She smiled at him and held her blood soaked hand to his cheek. 
“thank you,” she husked before her eyes rolled back. 
“No!” he yelled.
“Bucky?!” Sam, it was Sam, and the air force.  Bucky was pulled away as they loaded Y/n onto the chopper and raced her back to base.  Hot tears slipped down his face as the world seemed to slow down.  His connection, the one person he started to open up to was ripped from his arms, just as the walls came tumbling down. 
He sat pacing the hospital room, her body laid limp in the bed, unmoving, just as it had for the past two days.  The nurses tried to get him to go home, but after the third shift change and his protests to stay after visiting hours they gave up.  He stared out the window, looking to the mountains, they were still capped with snow.  He remembers her saying she was freezing, he recognizes that feeling now.  Cold, unmoving, dead.
“Hey champ,” a hoarse voice spoke in the room. He spun on his heels, Her eyes were opened, still droopy from the pain killer, but opened. 
“Thank god you’re okay,” he yanked a chair beside her and clutched her hand.
“I should’ve believed you,” she cracked a smile, Bucky felt his eyes well. Why? He still barely knew her. 
“My name is Y/n L/n I was born (your birthday), I have no siblings, I have always wanted a dog and if I had a kid i’d want a little boy named Matthew,” she squeezed his hand slightly.
“Good morning,” another womans voice broke the room with a knock. “I’m your nurse for this morning, my name is Sarah Good, yes like the book the crucible and i’ll take care of you till 7 tonight,” she smiled at the two brightly. “Todays agenda, always will be on the board, we want to get you to be able to be in a sitting position, and we want to start PT, or physicsl therapy if we can, We’re going to try and get you a real lunch today, and if we’re lucky you can get off those iv’s by tomorrow”
The last week was rough, But Bucky sat beside her through it all, they talked about life, about death, the world, every little thing they could think of.  When she was released it was Bucky who escorted her back across the country to home.  Sam met them at her apartment for diner and a toast to a job not so smooth for the dream team, now stronger that all three had a bond.  Sam had left about an hour ago, Bucky insisted on staying to help clean up. 
“Bucky, really this is too much to ask, it’s fine,”
“Don’t be ridiculous, it’s the least I can do”
“It’s late, do you want to stay? I mean I can take the couch and you can take my bed it-”
“I’m not taking your bed doll, I’ll take the couch if you really want me to stay but it’s not a problem for me to go home,” he smiled at her and set the last plate in the dish washer. 
“I kind of got used to you staying around,” she blushed. “We can watch a movie?” she offered.
“Sounds great”
They weren’t paying attention to the movie, well at least they pretended to,  Each watched the other out of the corner of their eyes. It was Y/n who made the first move, leaning her head on his shoulder, Bucky tucked his arm around the woman, inching her closer.  She felt her face get hot, she peered up at him to find him looking back, they ripped their eyes apart and both went flush. 
“Bucky-
Y/n I-” they spoke at the same time, letting out a laugh. 
“Go first,” he insisted. 
“No, it’s fine,” she stammered. 
“Y/n I- I really like you, I’m glad I let down my walls for you,” he swallowed the lump in his throat.  She felt her breath hitch. 
“I was going to say the same thing,” she spoke, barely above a whisper.  It hadn’t occurred to the couple just how close they were to each other.  Y/n felt Bucky’s breath dance across her face. 
“Can I. . . can I kiss you?” he breathed out.  She sim-ply nodded and met his lips, soft and delicate at first before he set his hand on the back of her neck and pulled her in.  Her  lips were intoxicating, he could get drunk on her. She let a moan slip as he pulled her into his lap gently. He felt his eyes roll at the sound. She ground into his lap, letting the feeling of his growing bulge tease her. She laced her fingers in his short hair, gently tugging where she could, causing a groan and for him to buck his hip to meet hers.  Y/n pulled back panting, trying to catch her breath before moving her lips to meet his neck.
“Y/n doll, I uh- it’s been a while,” he panted and fought the moans that threatened to leave his throat.
“It’s okay, let me take care of you?” she caught his eyes.  Her face was pure, innocent, but her words were laced with lust. He nodded and let his hands grip her hips.  She tugged his shirt off of his body, decorating his chest with kisses, working and inching her way to his hips.  She looked up at him, he was a mess, head laid back, breathing ragged.  She carefully undid his pants and slid them down his legs.  catching the skin above his hip bones she left a small purple mark on either side, claiming him as hers.  He had looked down at her now, catching her eyes.  She licked her lips before taking him into her mouth, The moan he let rip from vocal cords was ungodly. 
“Fuck, doll I -” he let his eyes meet hers, still laced with innocence, before groaning and throwing his head back.  He let his air out in puffs as she worked him over.  Her touch was delicate and sweet, he forgot how nice it felt, to be taken care of, to be treated with kindness. She let her fingers slip to cup his balls, gently playing with them as she let her pretty mouth suck his cock. The sight was straight out of a wet dream, 
“I’m gonna cum if you don’t stop,” he pleaded, grabbing her hair with his flesh hand, clutching the couch with the metal one.  The small breaths he let out only encouraged him further, she picked up her pace, daring him to cum down her throat.  A string of fucks and his hips tensing, and slowly relaxing followed soon after.  She caught his eyes, swallowing what he gave her and grinning at him.
“Holy-”
“Yeah,” she smiled. 
“Let me return the favor baby,” he pulled her back into his lap.
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study-coffee-chicago · 4 years ago
Text
Small (A Halstead brothers + Halstead sister imagine)
Grab your snacks because this is a long one.
Warning: graphic depictions of violence.
Being short and able to fit into small spaces had its perks...but you didn't think it would come in handy in such a dire situation as this. Your mind wandered back to who knows how many hours ago, reminding you of how you got in the situation and what the current situation entailed. Needless to say, you were currently in hell.
***
"Sev? What are you doing here?" you asked as you opened the front door to reveal Kelly Severide holding a six-pack of beer.
"Heard your brother just worked a really tough case. He here?" Kelly asked.
"He's in the shower. Voight gave him the day off after the case yesterday. But, c'mon in."
You stepped out of the way and allowed Kelly to enter, and closed the door. You went back over to the kitchen where you were pouring yourself a bowl of cereal and a cup of coffee. After all, it was only nine in the morning.
"Want anything?" you asked Kelly.
"I'm good, thanks. But if you could put these in the fridge that'd be great."
"Only if I can have one," you joked, grabbing the beer and putting it on a shelf in the fridge.
"If your brother wasn't here, I probably would let you."
"Kelly?" Jay asked walking out of the bathroom in a pair of jeans, still without a shirt on as it was in his hand.
"My eyes!" you yelled, quickly covering them with your hand.
"Do you ever leave the bathroom with a shirt on? Or do you just put it on once you're out?" Kelly laughed.
"It's my house. I can do what I want."
"Well, put the damn shirt on. You're scarring the poor kid."
"Fine, fine, okay." He slipped the shirt over his head. "You're good now."
You uncovered your eyes and took a sip of your coffee. You were about to swallow when Jay decided it wasn't too early to mess with you. "Not like she hasn't seen dudes shirtless before. She really wants to see that one kid from her political science class shirtless."
"Excuse you?" you exclaimed after you had spit your coffee back into your mug, causing Kelly to look at you with a disgusted look on his face. "I do not!"
"You're not exactly quiet when you talk on the phone with Emma, Y/N," Jay smirked.
"You see this, Kelly? This is the shit I have to put up with every day."
Kelly decided to smack Jay upside the head. "Ow! What the hell was that for?"
"Be nice to your sister!" Kelly laughed. "Or else I'll tell her that I caught you and Hailey making out in your truck on my way out of Molly's the other night!"
"I knew it! I knew you guys were in love with each other! Kelly, I need you to put that statement in writing because Will now owes me fifty bucks."
"Wait, you guys made bets on my love life?" Jay asked, pouring himself a cup of coffee.
"So, he is in love with her!" Kelly yelled, giving you a high five.
"Okay, enough about me," Jay started, effectively putting an end to that conversation. "What are you even doing here?" he asked, turning to Kelly.
"I heard about your case last night and I figured you could use some company. I brought beer."
"Great. Once I finish my coffee, we can break into that. You catch the Bears game the other day?"
And, now that they were talking about the glorified game of catch that was football, you took that as your cue to leave.
***
A reminder popped up on your phone at 11 am sharp. Tell Jay that low oil light came on in car it read.
You walked out into the living room only to hear Kelly say, "I'm tellin' you man, girls love that shit."
You assumed that shit was some sex thing...so you didn't want to know in the slightest. You cleared your throat, and Jay turned to you with wide-eyes.
"Uh, Y/N, how much of that did you happen to hear?"
"All I heard was him saying girls love that shit. Thank God I didn't hear more. But, my low oil light came on, so can change it?"
"The light or the oil?" Jay asked, taking another sip of his beer.
You squinted your eyes at him. "The oil. I'm stupid when it comes to cars, but I'm not that stupid."
"I'll do it in an hour."
"I have a class at three."
Jay groaned. "Seriously? Why didn't you tell me earlier?"
"Because it just came on yesterday?" Jay raised an eyebrow. "Okay, fine it came on three days ago. But in my defense, you haven't been home during the day and it's hard to change the oil in the dark."
"I can do it in the dark," Kelly pointed out.
"I can do it in the dark," Jay mocked. "Of course you can, because you're a firefighter. I don't suppose you know how to fire a sniper do you?"
"Dude, I'm a firefighter, not a cop!"
"Listen, I don't care who changes it faster or who can do it in the dark. Jay, just please change my oil."
"Uh, fine," Jay groaned, standing up from the couch.
"No, I can do it," Kelly offered.
"You sure?" Jay asked.
"As long as you buy me lunch."
"I knew there was a catch. But, sure. Me and Y/N will go pick up lunch and we'll bring some to Will too and we'll be back before she has to leave for her class at three." He turned to you. "Sound good?"
"When have I ever passed up the opportunity for free food?"
"Never?" Jay guessed.
"Exactly," you answered, grabbing your car keys off the hook and tossing them to Kelly.
If you knew what was about to happen, you would have definitely stayed home.
***
"So, care to elaborate on you and Hailey?" you asked Jay as you were on your way to Chicago Med to drop off some food from Mama Garcia's to Will.
"If you give me that fifty bucks Will's gonna pay you, then I might just enlighten you."
"Nah, I'll just have Kelly tell me everything he knows instead. Or I can ask Ruzek--"
You were cut off by the sound of sirens behind you. "What the hell? I wasn't even speeding," Jay muttered.
"For once in your life," you shot back.
"Shut it."
Jay rolled the truck to a stop and you shot a look behind you. No one had gotten out of the car yet.
"They're probably just running my plates," Jay answered, seeing as you looked confused. "Some cops are weird and run 'em before they get out of the car. I made the mistake of doing that once when I was a rookie and the suspect fled."
"Oooh, did you get in trouble? I hope you got yelled at!"
Jay looked behind him at the cops who stepped out of the car. At first, he thought they might have been plain-clothed officers, but why would plain-clothed officers be driving a squad car? Then, he looked closer and it was as if he was transported back to four years ago.
"Y/N--"
"I was kidding, I don't care if you got yelled at or--"
"Y/N!" Jay yelled. "I need you to get down now, and call 911. Tell them my name and tell them to ping your phone."
"Jay, what's going on?" You slid off your seat and curled up into a ball on the floor, pulling out your phone.
"Just do it, dammit!"
Jay reached for his gun that he kept hidden in the glove compartment as your fingers flew across your phone.
You heard the tell-tale sound of a window being broken and looked up the see Jay covering his face, gun still in hand. Jay tried to push open the door, but before he could, the door was ripped open and he was dragged out of the car. "Detective Halstead. So, we meet again," you heard a deep voice say.
"Hello, 911 what's your emergency?"
"Detective Jay Halstead, intelligence. Ping this phone," was all you could manage to get out.
"You hear that?" another voice asked. "Sounded like a girl and it came from his truck."
"I'm alone!" Jay yelled. "I just came to pick up some food is all!" he protested. In a normal situation, he would've tried to fight back. But, this wasn't a normal situation. He needed them to take him wherever it was they wanted him and he needed them to do it fast so that they didn't find you.
"I don't know about that, Detective. Where's the fire from the last time I saw you? You never go down without a fight. Are you protecting someone, is that it?" He paused and nodded to his associate. "Check his car."
"You son of a-- Ahhhhh!" Jay writhed as a taser struck his stomach.
"Jay!" You jumped up at the sound of your brother's cries of pain. He never showed weakness, so this was bad.
"Take her!" the man who was holding Jay yelled.
You jumped out of the car and started running, but they were too fast and caught up to you within five steps.
"Let me go! Let me go!" you yelled as you struggled and kicked your legs out as you were picked up off the ground.
You saw Jay trying to fight his captor as well, but it was no use because as soon as he got tased again and showed weakness for a second time, they tied his hands behind his back. "Y/N, stop fighting," Jay gritted out. "It'll-- only get-- worse."
"Let go of me you fucking asshole!" you yelled, swinging your arms, hoping that you got him in the nose.
"Derek, I think this bitch needs a little lesson in obedience," the one who was holding you said.
"I'll do that in a second." He pulled out a syringe.
"Don't!" you yelled as you watched what he was doing. But it was too late, the syringe full of sedatives had already been plunged into your older brother's shoulder, ending all your hopes of escape.
"Now for you," he walked over, twirling a knife in his hands. He handed it to his associate, who held it against your throat.
"You scream or move, you die."
***
Jay woke up to a pain in his shoulder. All he could think was Not again. Not fucking Derek Keyes again.
But then, he heard your screams of pain coming from the other room and that immediately snapped him out of his groggy state. He had to get out of here. He could be tortured like an animal, after all, he'd already been through it once, but there was no way in hell he was going to sit back and allow it to happen to you.
He tugged on the ropes securing him to the pipe and tried to jam his shoulder into it to make it loose. It moved slightly and he knew that if he had time, he could get out of it.
You would no longer laugh at the story of Jay going through taser certification or laugh at how much he bitched about having to be recertified each year. Because God, taking a taser to the stomach hurt like hell. And, what made it even worse was that you were chained to the ceiling, so because of your short stature, you couldn't even put a toe on the ground. So now, when you were tased or hit, despite trying to double over, you would just swing back and forth, like a tormented and tortured rag doll.
"J-Jay!" you yelled as you were tased in the stomach and swung back once more.
"He won't put himself through this again, sweetheart. After all, he knows what's it's like. He'll just let you take one for the team this time."
"Liar," you gasped out.
"I have a better idea. How about we play a little game, just you and me." He fiddled with your bra strap that was falling down your left shoulder. They had ripped your shirt off before they had begun tasing you. You were just thankful they had let you keep your jeans on. "Don't you want to know what the game is?"
"No--" you were cut off by being tased in the shoulder, causing you to scream out.
"Not the answer I was looking for. Let's try this again, shall we? Do you want to know what the game is?"
"Y-Yes."
"See now that wasn't so hard." Keyes put his hands on your shoulders to stop you from swinging. "The game is simple. I give you a choice between two clothing items. You choose the one you want to take off and then...well, you'll see what happens from there. Now, here's your choice: bra or jeans?"
"Wh-what?" you stuttered.
"Did I stutter, bitch? Make your decision, bra or jeans?"
"Jeans," you gasped. At least you had underwear underneath. And, if he took off your bra and tased you there, well, you did not want to know how that felt.
He pulled out a knife and you instinctively tried to sway back away from him. Keyes chuckled. "Don't worry. This won't come near your face...yet."
Then, you heard the ripping of denim as your jeans were quite literally cut off of your body.
"Oh, I forgot to tell you the rest of the game," Keyes smirked. "Wherever I take clothes of off, you take a taser hit to." Without even giving you time to process what he had said, he stuck the taser into your left leg, causing a burning and writhing sensation to go up your entire body.
"Mercy! Mercy!" you yelled out. Honestly, at this point, you wished you would just pass out.
"One last choice," Keyes started, twirling the knife between his fingers. "I can continue having all my fun with you or I can get your brother and--"
"Jay. Take Jay," you gritted your teeth and said without thinking of the repercussions of your actions.
"What you want, you get."
Keyes unchained your hands and you all but fell into his arms to avoid falling on the cold, hard concrete. He tugged your arm, pulling you up and you could've sworn if he pulled any harder, that your shoulder would have popped out of its socket. He then dragged you over to a large steel door, put in a code, and pushed it open, causing it to scrape against the floor.
That's when you heard him. Jay.
"Let her go you fucking animals!"
"Oh, we're letting her go alright," Keyes chuckled sinisterly as he got closer and closer to the light of the small flickering lightbulb that was hanging from the ceiling, giving the space you and Jay were currently being held an eerie glow. "But the deal was her for you."
***
You didn't know how much time had passed. You tried to keep your mind off of Jay's screams from the torture chamber by translating all your thoughts into Spanish. That only helped for the first few though, because they all had to do with pain.
Me duele. Me duele. Me duele.
I hurt. I hurt. I hurt.
Pain. Pain. Pain.
You were currently tied to a pole about six inches away from the rectangular-looking pipe that Jay had been tied to before Keyes took him. Everything Jay had taught you about survival had gone out the window. Not that you thought it mattered. All he had taught you to really do was how to break zip ties if your wrists and ankles were zip-tied together and if you needed to hit someone, hit their nose with the heel of your hand and then run as fast as possible while their vision was blurry.
Your shoulders ached from holding your weight for so long and the bleeding on your stomach had slowed to a trickle after all those taser hits. Your thigh was still numb from the worst taser hit of them all, but you were slowly regaining feeling in it.
You heard moaning coming from the left of you and turned your head to see a shirtless Jay being dragged back over to you. His face was already bruising and there was blood dripping down his torso. As he got closer, you couldn't even bear to look at him. You were the one who caused this. You were the one who made him go through all this pain. If you would've just taken what Keyes was giving you, Jay wouldn't be hurting as much--if not more--than you were.
They tied Jay to the pipe once more and then Keyes crouched down to your height. You resisted the urge to spit in his face. "I hope he forgives you." He began to caress your face, causing you to grit your teeth to keep from crying out, in fear or disgust, you weren't sure which. "Because I sure as hell wouldn't, sweetheart."
"Get your-- hands-- off her," Jay heavily panted next to you.
"Nobody asked you!" The echo of the slap Jay had just received from Keyes could be heard throughout the entire basement, causing you to flinch backward, hitting your head on the pole.
"Ah, fuck," you muttered through gritted teeth.
"Now, I'm gonna go make a few phone calls, eat some food, maybe have some friends over." At the mention of friends, your eyes widened, hoping that didn't mean what you thought it did. "Oh, don't worry, sweetheart. It's not what you think...yet."
Then, he left and you scooted around the pole so you could be closer to your brother. "I'm a monster," you whispered.
"What?" Jay turned his head to look at you, trying to maneuver his shoulders under the pipe to loosen it once more.
"He said you or me, that I had to choose and I told him to take you. I'm sorry. I should've just let him--"
"No, what you did was the right thing. I'll be fine. I was worried about you the whole time you were in there." Only then did he get a good look at you and saw that you were only in your bra and underwear. "Oh, God. He didn't-- I can't forgive myself if he--"
"Jay, he didn't do that." You shivered, despite being covered in a layer of nervous sweat.
And, Jay being a detective and all, didn't miss that. "Can you move any closer to me?"
You tugged on the rope, using whatever slack it had left in it to slowly drag yourself closer to Jay. Somehow, you got yourself close enough to Jay that you were leaning against him. You felt the warmth of his chest and remembered when Jay had told the doctor one time that his temperature always ran a little high, that that was normal for him. And God, right now you were really thankfully for those extra point three degrees he had on you.
"You're warm," you mumbled.
"You're getting blood in your hair."
"But it's warm." You closed your eyes.
"No, no, no, no, no." Jay moved his shoulder, making your head move up and down.
"Stop it. Trying to take a nap before he comes back."
"No, no we are not doing that. You do not close your eyes on me, Y/N Halstead. Do you understand me?"
You blinked and opened your eyes. "Fine. But everything hurts."
"I know. I know it does, kid. But we're gonna get out of here, okay?" Jay craned his neck to look above him. Then, he looked you up and down. "Think you could fit through that air vent?"
***
"You've reached Jay. Leave a message and I'll get back to you. At the tone please record your message, when you have finished recording--"
"Dammit, Halstead. It's been two hours!" Severide grumbled to himself as he sat on the couch in your house. Then, he scrolled through the phone to find your contact.
He waited for a few rings. "Hey, it's Y/N. I can't come to the phone right now. But pro tip, send me a text and maybe I'll answer that. Bye! At the tone please record your--"
He slammed his finger down on the end call button and went to call the third Halstead in a row, Will.
"Kelly?" Will asked as he answered his phone in the doctor's lounge. "Not to sound rude or anything, but why are you calling me?"
"Have you seen Jay or Y/N?"
"Can't say I have, why?"
"They went out to grab lunch and said they'd drop some off to you and it's been two hours. I don't know, maybe something happened to them."
"Yeah, I'll call Voight. Maybe Jay got called in and Y/N's just at the district. I'll let you know what I find out."
"Thanks, man."
Will ended the call and scrolled through his contacts until he found Hank Voight's phone number.
"Voight," the gravely-voiced sergeant answered.
"Hank, it's Will Halstead. Any chance you've seen my brother or sister lately?"
"No. I gave Halstead the day off and I haven't seen Y/N. Why? Is everything alright?"
"It's just that Kelly Severide just called me and he said that Jay and Y/N were out grabbing food and it's been two hours and neither of them is answering their phones."
"Okay, I'll look into it and get back to you. Don't worry about it. They probably just have no service because of a downed line."
"Yeah," Will agreed, trying to be optimistic. "Thanks."
"No problem, doc."
Voight ended the call and walked out of his office and into the bullpen. It was a slow day in Intelligence and hell, Ruzek hadn't even shown up yet.
"Is Ruzek gonna show up or is he playing hookey today?" Voight asked, annoyed.
"I think he's just hungover," Kevin answered. "If we got a case though, I'll pick him up on the way there and wake his ass up."
"Hank." Voight turned to look at the stairs, seeing none other than Trudy Platt. "You all need to listen to this."
She pressed play on an iPad and your voice came through the speaker. "Detective Jay Halstead, intelligence. Ping this phone."
"That's Y/N's voice," Kevin said.
"Trudy, when was this call placed?" Voight asked.
"About an hour and a half ago."
"Okay. Atwater, go pick up Ruzek. Burgess, ping Y/N's phone. Upton, me and you are gonna go suit up and then go find Jay and Y/N's last known."
"Copy that," Hailey answered.
***
"No sign of them, Sarge," Hailey said as she walked around Jay's truck, which showed clear signs of forced entry.
"This is 5021 squad," Voight spoke into his radio, "I need you to roll the crime lab on our current location and notify all units, an officer and a civilian have been abducted."
"Should we call Will?" Hailey asked.
"No. Not until we get more information. We don't need him to know that both of his siblings have been kidnapped. Because, if he's anything like Jay, which there's a 99% chance he is, he'll do something reckless. And we can't have that, not with this case."
"Kim, do you have any pod footage from our location?" Hailey asked.
"I do, but it's not facing that way. Wait, I got something. It looks like there was a squad car...and Jay's truck is out of frame. Dammit!"
"Kim track that patrol car number, see if it was reported missing or stolen."
"Copy."
There was typing on Kim's end before she came back on the radio. "Patrol car was reported stolen from the police garage this morning. According to the GPS, it says it's at the bottom of the Chicago River."
"So, whoever did this ripped the GPS out. Great."
"Hank," Trudy's voice came over the radio.
"What do you have for me, Trudy?"
"You need to get back to the district. There's a package for you and it's got a DVD and a flip phone in it. Some kid dropped it off, said it was important that this be viewed by you and Intelligence."
***
"Anybody else getting deja vu from this? Or is it just me?" Adam asked as he popped the DVD into the computer as everyone else crowded around to get a view of the screen.
"If this is what I think it is, then it is not good," Voight agreed.
"Someone care to enlighten me?" Hailey asked.
"About four years ago, there was this dealer, Derek Keyes. We had a buy going down in Midway and he killed his own brother and took Jay. Sent us a DVD and a flip phone," Adam answered.
"We watched Jay get tortured like an animal," Kevin said.
"And then Keyes called," Adam continued. "He said he wanted all our CI files and to send a lone female officer. We made fake files and sent Erin Lindsay, but they didn't have him. So, Erin had to go back with them, and somehow, I have no idea how those two did it, but they fought off Keyes and his associates and got out of there alive."
"Let's get this over with," Voight said.
They all held their breath as the video booted up. When Adam did press play, they were met with you hanging from the ceiling and being tased. They could hear Jay's screams in the background telling them to let you go.
"J-Jay. Take Jay," you panted and were taken down and dragged out.
Then, the video switched to Jay being tased. Hailey thought she was going to be sick. They had her partner, the man she had finally shared her feelings with and she'd be damned if they took him away from her.
The phone rang and Voight flipped it open and put it on speaker. "Hello?"
"Sergeant Voight, so we meet again," Derek Keyes' voice came through the phone. "I wish it were under better circumstances."
"What do you want, Keyes? We both know how this goes."
"I know what you want," Keyes started, smirking on the other end of the call. "You want your detective and his precious little sister who just so happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I've gotta say, Jay is quite the martyr this time around. Not like his sister gave him much of a choice, but he did it willingly. Didn't even fight back when he got back in there, all he said was not to hurt her more than I already have."
"She's just a kid, Keyes!" Adam yelled. "Let her go!"
Adam was like another older brother to you, but he was the fun brother. He always said that if you went to a party and needed a place to crash after without telling your brothers, he was your guy. He was also the one who, whenever you had to be stuck at the district for whatever reason,  would sneak you a few dollars if you didn't have cash on you and you'd get Oreos from the vending machine.
"Oh, but that wouldn't be much fun for me now, would it?" Keyes chuckled.
"What do want?" Voight sneered.
"All of the drugs from the evidence locker. Meet me tonight at ten pm and you'll get your precious detective and his kid sister back. Send a lone, female officer. I'll send you the address."
Then, the line went dead.
"Okay, so we just go and check out all the drugs from evidence and throw them in a bag and do the meet. Simple," Adam stated.
"Are you out of your mind?" Voight asked, stepping closer to Adam. "Most of those drugs are laced, and there no way I am sending that much out onto the streets!"
"It's not just Jay this time! They have Y/N!"
"He's right, Sarge," Kevin backed up his best friend. "If it were just Jay, we might be able to get out of it without getting the drugs to Keyes. But, Y/N's got no way to defend herself in there, not with guys two times her size. You saw how she looked in that video and how she cried out for Jay. He'll do anything for her, Sarge. That's usually a good thing, but it might not be in this case."
They all knew what Kevin was getting at: If it was a choice between you or Jay dying, Jay would take the bullet in a heartbeat.
"Alright," Voight nodded. "I'll go sign out the drugs. Kim, get a wire on Hailey. Atwater and Ruzek, scope out the place and find the best spot to watch the drop."
***
"Jay, I swear to God if you break your damn shoulder--"
"I will not break my shoulder, Y/N." Jay gritted his teeth as he shoved his shoulder into the pipe.
"All I'm saying is that Will is gonna have to poke you with a needle if that happens."
"Listen, we're gonna get poked and prodded anyway." There was a soft clang as one end of the pipe came loose and popped off its bearings.
Jay quickly got his hands out of the rope and moved over to untie you.
"Oh, Thank God." Jay pulled the rope off your wrists, to see blood trickling down them.
"What the hell did you do?" Jay asked. His wrists weren't bloody, just raw, so he didn't know how yours had gotten that bad without you saying something.
"When they were hurting you, I just kept tugging on them. But it didn't work. They just got tighter."
"Yeah, because with the type of knot they tied you up with, the more you tug, the tighter it gets. Can you feel your leg yet?"
"How did you know it was numb?"
"I'm a detective. I notice things and you kept pinching your leg."
"It's better, I guess."
"Try and stand up, walk a few steps, and then we are getting out of here."
"How? You're gonna boost me up to that air vent where we have no idea where it ends and then I'm gonna go outside, pray that it's not snowing, and try and fight this guy off. Not to mention, I am literally just in my bra and underwear!"
"Listen, you probably won't have to go very far before someone who's concerned comes up to you and you ask to use their phone and you call Will, who will call Voight. If Will doesn't pick up, call 911. And, it's Chicago. People have seen weirder things than this."
You started walking around, making sure you could feel your leg. And you could feel it alright. You could feel it aching from your knee up to your hip, but you had to get out of here. You didn't know how much more of that you could take. And, you felt nauseous...but you couldn't tell Jay that or else he'd make you sit down and your escape plan would be dead in the water.
"Ready?" Jay asked.
"As I'll ever be," you answered, walking closer to him.
"You'll be okay, kid. We're gonna be okay."
You nodded, holding back tears, and then took a deep breath. Jay grunted in pain as he took your foot in his hand and boosted you up so that you could reach the open vent. Once you got your hands tightly wrapped around the entrance, Jay pushed so that your body was completely inside. You couldn't imagine the amount of pain he was in as he was having to irritate all of the wounds on his stomach and shoulders to get you up there.
You began your crawl through the dark and hoped that you didn't see a snake or a different type of reptile or rodent. Because, if you did and Keyes didn't kill Jay, you sure as hell would.
You crawled through the dark for what to you felt like hours, but in reality, it had only been three minutes, until you saw a speck of light ahead of you. You went as fast as your injured body would allow you to go, knowing that the outside world and freedom were getting closer and closer with every struggling step.
"Fuck," you muttered. You could see outside through the vent, but there was just one problem. You'd have to kick out the metal filter in order to jump outside.
You stifled a scream as you pulled your legs back, crunching them up to your chest which rubbed against the wounds on your stomach and kicked forward. You heard a creaking noise, taking that as a good sign, you kicked the filter seven more times with all the strength you had left and heard it hit the soft snow below.
You poked your head out, for once thankful that you were being held in a basement so that you were at ground level and wouldn't have to jump from four stories high.
But it was cold, oh so cold, and your lack of clothing didn't help matters.
Then, you heard Jay scream.
Hearing that kicked your adrenaline into high gear and you slipped out of the air vent and onto the ground, your feet making footprints in the snow. But, it was as if you couldn't even feel your feet on the verge of being frostbitten as you ran across the yard, further and further away from that place, closer and closer to safety.
But then, you came to a fence, which made your heart stop. You couldn't remember the last time you had climbed a fence! Yes, it paid to be small so you could fit in an air vent, but it did not help you the slightest bit when trying to jump a fence.
You gripped the metal and slid your foot into one of the rectangles, hauling yourself up as fast as you could.
But, you weren't fast enough.
You were ripped off the fence so fast that it made your head spin, the dizziness causing bile to rise in your throat.
"Let me go!" you yelled, kicking and screaming, hoping that your foot would make contact with any part of Derek Keyes' body that would cause him pain.
"Oh, where's the fun in that?"
"Please--" You couldn't finish your sentence before Keyes had slapped you across the face and then pressed a piece of duck tape on your mouth, effectively shutting you up.
"Much better. Now I can enjoy my peace and quiet."
You huffed and tried to scream through the duck tape, but it was no use. You tried to lick the duck tape like Jay had taught you, but you had been without water for so long that the tape wouldn't lose its stickiness no matter how hard or long you tried. Salty tears rolled down your face, wasting whatever water your probably dehydrated body had left.
You were once again dragged into the basement, meeting Jay, who was on the floor writhing in pain from the taser hit he had just received, chains on his wrists and ankles.
"Look who finally decided to turn back up, detective," Derek said, as he chained you to the pole. You knew that you'd probably need a tetanus shot from the rust getting into your cut-up wrists...if you ever go out of here that is.
"Op! Op!" you tried to yell stop through your duck tape, but that was the best you could do.
"Let her go, Keyes," Jay panted. "You want me, you have me. Now," he paused to take in some much-needed air, "just let her go."
"That was going to be the plan before I caught her trying to escape. I was going to take her and exchange her for the drugs and then maybe your people would find you in time. But, seeing as she is the escapee and you're just the accomplice, I think that she should get a longer prison sentence. That's how it works, isn't it detective?"
You whimpered, but Jay said nothing. A kick to his side made him remember who was in charge. "Yeah, yeah, that's how-- that's how it works."
"Precisely my point." He nodded at one of his associates who pulled out a syringe. Instinctively, Jay flinched. "Aw, is the big, bad detective afraid of a little needle?" Then, he plunged the needle into Jay's shoulder once more.
Jay tried to stay awake by focusing on you, silently telling you that it would be okay, but soon his eyes closed, the drugs taking over his system.
"Get him in the van, go do the deal," he told the guy who had just put sedatives in your brother's system. "As for you, sweetheart, it's time for another game."
***
"Hailey, van pulling up on your six," Ruzek said into his radio.
"Copy," Hailey answered. Seeing as she was unarmed, this needed to go smoothly. Not just for her, but for you and Jay.
As the van pulled up, Hailey's heart beat faster and faster. One slip up and she, Jay, and you would all easily be dead.
"Lone female officer," Keyes' associate said as he pulled up to Hailey. "Voight knows how to listen. You got what we asked for?"
"Sure do," Hailey answered, popping the trunk and pulling out the bag full of drugs. "All the drugs from 21st's evidence locker." She unzipped the bag, showing it to the men. "Now, give me my people, and then you can have 'em."
"That's not how this works. The drugs and then you get them back."
Hailey hesitated, but then she heard Voight's voice in her earpiece. "Do it, Upton. We have them surrounded."
She handed over the bag and he inspected it. "Get him out!" he yelled to the person in the back with Jay.
The door was opened and Jay was shoved out of the van, smashing his face into the gravel as the van sped off.
"Take 'em," Voight said.
"Sarge, Y/N's not here!" Hailey yelled. "It's only Jay and I need an ambo here! Now!"
"They- They got her, Hailey. Escape-- caught-- still there," Jay gasped as Hailey helped him sit up and wiped some blood from his face.
"Jay says Y/N's still there!" Hailey said and then the ambulance came up next to them.
Hailey undid the knots that were holding Jay's wrists and ankles together. They had switched out the chains for rope as soon as they were far away enough from Keyes' place that they knew that Jay wouldn't escape.
"Hailey, I counted- I counted the turns. They didn't give me enough and I woke- I woke up as soon as the van started."
"Sarge, I need you here, now! I think we got something, but I'm gonna need some help."
"Copy," Voight answered.
"Can you stand up, sir?" the paramedic asked Jay.
"Yeah, yeah I can do that." Hailey took his hand and helped him stand up and sit in the back of the ambulance.
"Jesus, man," Adam said as he saw Jay's current state. "You look like hell."
"Not the time," Voight admonished. "Hailey, what do you got?"
"Jay said he counted the turns. So if we can somehow get him in the car, I think he might be able to tell us where to go by backtracking."
"Halstead, you good to go?"
"Yeah," Jay answered, slowly standing up.
"Sergeant," the paramedic turned to Voight, "we really need to get him to Chicago Med."
"Listen to me, his sister is missing and probably being tortured right now. He is the only person who knows where to go because those other two sons of bitches who brought him here ain't talking. So, if you take him to the hospital and his sister dies, her death is on you. But if it makes you feel any better, one of you can ride with us," Voight sneered.
The paramedic reached behind her, pulling out a medical bag. "Take this. Use the hydrogen peroxide to clean the cuts. Use the bandages and gauze to cover them up, but remember to clean all of them." She looked at his stomach. "This one needs stitches, so I'm gonna need to keep him here--"
"No! We can just pack it, can't we?" Hailey asked.
"I mean, you could. It'd only work for a max of two hours."
"Well, we better work fast then," Voight said. "Hailey, help him to the car."
***
Keyes roughly grabbed your face in his hand. You were once again chained up and hanging from the ceiling by your wrists. The minute you stopped swinging, you did what you should've done hours ago. Jay wasn't here to save you and this wasn't going to get any easier. You were saving yourself in this one.
You spat in his face, resulting in you getting a slap across your face and then getting tased in the shoulder.
"I'm getting bored of this," Keyes said, faking a yawn.
He turned around and you used that moment to gather up all your strength and swing backward, using the momentum to carry you forward and kicking your legs out, successfully hitting him in the back, making him fall to the ground with a thud. You wiggled in the chains, ignoring the pain in your bloody wrists screaming out for you to stop. But, who were you kidding? They weren't going to budge.
"Tough girl, huh?" Keyes snarled as he stood up, pulling an orange lighter from his pocket. He flicked it open, flames slithering out. "Good thing I like tough girls. And, I also have another game."
You spit at him again, but he was too far away for it to reach him. "Go to hell!"
"I was going to tell you the rules, but since you wanna be so feisty, you can figure it out as we go."
He moved closer to you and reached up to your arms. You screamed out as the flames licked up your left arm, testing your restraints once more and trying with all your might to swing to the right, away from Keyes and his lighter. As you screamed, Keyes counted.
Then, he went to the other arm and did the same thing, counting to the same number and pulling the lighter away. But, since you kept screaming, he kept counting.
He then moved the lighter around your stomach for six seconds, and you screamed for another two. "You know what this means? Eight seconds the next place I light up. If you shut your goddamn mouth, I wouldn't have to do this."
"Fuck you!" You felt a wave of nausea again and this time, you knew you weren't going to be able to keep it down. "I'm gonna- I'm gonna--" And then you puked right down yourself. If you didn't already feel humiliated and at the mercy of Keyes, you sure did now. Chained up, covered in your own vomit, and just waiting to be burned once more.
This was how you were going to die. At this point, you just needed to accept it. Maybe if you shut up, you'd be able to die in a little less pain than you were currently in.
Keyes laughed at how helpless you were and moved his lighter to your collarbone. "No, no, please! Please just kill me! Please!" you pleaded.
"Where's the fun in that?"
Then, he held the lighter to your collarbone. You screamed and tried to get away from the lighter, but you were losing energy and through the pain, you remembered what Keyes said: If you shut your goddamn mouth, I wouldn't have to do this. So, you screamed for two seconds and bit your tongue as hard as you could to keep from yelling out once again, making more seconds get added to your burns.
"You're learning. That's good," Keyes said as he played with the lighter, making the flames go in between his fingers.
"I'll be quiet I promise!"
"Two more seconds." He moved the lighter to your thigh and was about to flick it to make fire spit out when he was loudly interrupted.
"Derek! We gotta go! They found us!"
Keyes threw the open lighter to the ground. "Looks like you'll actually get your death wish."
Then, he bolted out the door as you watched the flames moving across the concrete, quickly starting to burn the pile of rope that sat next to the wall, only making the fire accelerate.
***
"Turn left!" Jay yelled to Voight.
"Is that smoke?" Hailey asked.
Jay saw the black smoke. "That means a house is burning! Call CFD!" he yelled, his Rangers training and all the things he saw in Afghanistan paying off once again.
"This is 5021 Squad, requesting CFD-- Jay, is this close to where you were?"
Jay's face paled, realizing what Voight was insinuating. "Oh my God."
"This is 5021 Squad," Voight started again, "Requesting CFD and Rescue Squad. We have a house fire and possible victim inside in an unknown condition. Offenders assumed to be fleeing, patrol be advised."
***
Your eyelids felt heavy as you felt the flames licking the wall next to you, dangerously close.
Please let me pass out from smoke inhalation. Please let me pass out from smoke inhalation, you thought to yourself. After all, if you were going to end up being burned alive, you'd prefer to be unconscious when it occurred; it'd hurt less.
You thought that you might actually get your way for once today, two days? You didn't know how long you had been here. Your eyelids fluttered closed and you thought you were alive, but then you heard someone calling out to you.
Severide?
The first person you thought you'd hear from or see when you got to heaven, you assumed was going to be your mom, but apparently, that had changed.
"Want Mom," you mumbled, hoping she'd appear out of thin air. Because, you were in heaven and that's what angels do, right?
"Fire Department, call out!"
Why was Severide dead and why was he saying to call out? You were dead so why did you need saving?
"Fire Department, call out!" another voice yelled.
Wait, was that Cruz?
Holy shit, you weren't dead...not yet at least.
"In here," you tried to be as loud as you could, using the last energy you had, but it was just your normal talking voice. So, with all the strength you had left, you tried to clang the chains connected to your wrists and the ceiling together, hoping they'd make enough sound so that they could find you.
"Cruz, get the bolt cutters and cut these chains off her!" you heard Kelly yell. "I'll catch her and then we'll get outta here!"
The smoke hurt your eyes and you were so, so tired.
You felt yourself falling and your eyes shot open in fear. You tried to move out of the hold, but everything hurt...especially the newly added burns from Keyes which were especially tender.
"Y/N, relax. It's just me, it's Kelly."
"Kelly," you muttered, closing your eyes and slipping into an unconscious state.
"I need a medic!" Kelly yelled as he carried you out of the burning house and towards the second ambulance.
Jay was sitting in the first one, getting the cut on his stomach looked at. "Y/N!"
He moved to try and stand to get over to you, but he was pushed back down. "You can see her at the hospital," the paramedic told him. "I can't have you ripping the cut more than it is."
"Jay, she's in good hands," Hailey said, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"Please, just tell me she's alive." He made eye contact with Kelly who looked at Sylvie. She nodded.
"She's alive, Jay."
***
"Dr. Marcel, trauma victim is two minutes out!" Maggie yelled to Crockett who was standing at a computer, finishing some charts.
"I'll help," Will volunteered.
"Good, know anything else about the victim?"
"Kidnapping victim." Maggie paused, listening to the radio. "Will, you can't treat this patient."
"What do you mean I can't treat this patient?" he asked, taking a step closer to Maggie.
"Will, it's Y/N."
"What?"
"I don't need a wheelchair, Hailey! I can walk!" Jay yelled as he entered the ED, to be met with a shock-faced Will.
"Give it to me," Marcel said as Sylvie rolled you in on the stretcher, still unconscious.
"Y/N Halstead, 20-year-old female, kidnapping victim. Diminished breath sounds, most likely from smoke inhalation. First-degree burns on her stomach, shoulder, and collarbone, needs stitches in her right wrist and a tetanus shot. No broken bones that we could find, but it wouldn't hurt to check. Bruising on a lot of her body, but it looks superficial. Go through concussion protocol as well. There's a big bump on her head," Sylvie answered.
"Thanks, Brett."
"Trauma three!"
Will just stood, staring at you being pushed into the trauma room. Then, he flicked his eyes up at Jay. You were here because of Jay.
"She's gonna be okay, right Will?" Jay asked, walking closer to his older brother.
Will said nothing.
"Will!" Jay yelled once more.
Will's eyes darkened and he looked down at Jay. "She's here because of you!" If Jay had a shirt on, Will would've grabbed him by his collar. "You could've gotten her out of there and you didn't!"
"I tried! We tried to escape and they caught her. They took me instead of her to go back--"
"They took you back instead of her? God, did you even try to fight back, or did you just let them take her back and torture her?"
"Are kidding me right now? You don't think I tried? Look at me! I fucking tried but they chained me to a fucking wall, Will! There wasn't much I could do from there!"
"Okay, okay," Hailey said, stepping between the two men and placing her hands on Jay's chest. "Let's go get you stitched up. And, you two better work this out before Y/N wakes up. Because she will wake up."
***
Will tapped the glass of the entrance to Jay's hospital room, seeing as it was midnight and Will was working a double shift, he had grabbed some coffee to keep him awake. And, knowing Jay, he knew that he wouldn't sleep at a time like this, so he grabbed him a coffee, too.
Hailey had gotten up to go to the bathroom before Will had gotten there, leaving Jay alone. Jay looked up to see who was knocking and nodded his head, allowing his older brother to enter.
"I'm sorry for what I said earlier," Will apologized, handing Jay his coffee. "I know you tried your hardest, it's just, I'm used to seeing you come here in an ambulance, but seeing Y/N? That hits different. It's like everything I learned in med school flew out the window the minute Brett brought her through the ED doors."
"If only we didn't try to escape, then she could've gone when Keyes' people went to do the deal and she wouldn't be in this mess," Jay sighed, taking a sip of his coffee, being careful not to move his left arm too much.
"How's the shoulder?" Will asked.
"I didn't break it. Just hurts a lot. They said if I would've hit it a few more times I would've broken it though."
Will nodded, wanting to ask Jay how the hell you got yourself into this mess. But, he didn't want Jay to shut him down.
"Out with it," Jay prompted. "I know that look. It's when you want to say something, but won't."
Will raked a hand through his hair, tugging on the roots. "How did she even get in this mess to begin with?"
"We were just going to get lunch, that's all we were doing." Jay's voice grew quieter, as he realized that this entire thing was wholly on him and no one else. "I got pulled over and it was- it was Keyes. Must've stolen a patrol car. I- I told her to get down and call 911, but they heard her on the phone. They heard her on the phone and grabbed her, Will. I tried to fight back, but then I was drugged and..." He stopped and looked down. Then, he set his coffee on the table and put his face in his hands as his body began to shake with sobs.
Will stood up and put his hand on Jay's good shoulder, rubbing back and forth. "When I woke up, I was tied to- to a pipe and I heard- I heard her screaming for me."
"Hey, hey, it's okay. She's safe now. She's safe."
And, then Will's pager went off, alerting him that he had an incoming victim of a car crash. "I gotta go, little brother, but Hailey's back." He gave Jay's shoulder one last squeeze and slipped out of the room.
"Jay, I know what you're doing," Hailey said, dragging a chair across the small room to be closer to him. "None of this is your fault."
"But it is, Hailey! If I didn't have the brilliant idea to try and get her to go through that air vent and escape, she wouldn't be here right now."
"You were doing what you thought would get her out of harm's way. You did what you were supposed to do. It just...didn't work out quite right this time."
"Obviously. God, if they would've just taken me instead..."
"Hey, hey. Jay, look at me," Hailey said sternly, grabbing his face in her hands when he looked up at her. "She is safe now and I know for a fact that when Y/N wakes up, she's gonna need you. She can't have you spiraling. She's gonna need all the help, support, and love she can get."
"But what if she hates me?" Jay whispered. "I'm the reason she's in all that pain."
"She could never hate you, not now, not ever. And, Keyes is the reason she's in all that pain. Not you, most definitely not you."
***
You woke up to the steady hum of machines and you felt something in your arm.
Keyes was going to drug you just like he did to Jay. And the machines were so that he could electrocute you.
"Please wake up," you heard Jay mutter.
If he was here, that means the deal didn't go down as planned and Jay probably had more injuries. You couldn't open your eyes, for fear of what condition your big brother would be in because of you. If only you had gotten over that fence...
They didn't know you were awake yet, so you fumbled with the needle in your arm, hoping to pull it out to stop any more drugs from invading your system.
You jumped back as you felt someone's hand on your arm, keeping the needle in and your eyes shot open, to be met with just Jay.
You moved away from him, knowing that if he was back, Keyes would follow.
"I need some help in here!" Jay yelled as you reached once more for the needle in your arm.
"Y/N, we need you to calm down!" Maggie told you as she ran in, grabbing your hand to pull it off the arm where the IV was. "You're in the hospital, at Chicago Med. Will's here, but he's with a patient."
That was when you finally took in your surroundings. The hum of the machines were the monitors, and whatever was going into your body were drugs, but they were to get you better.
Your heart rate steadily slowed, until it was back to its normal rhythm. "There you go," Maggie said as she handed you a cup of water which you gladly drank. "I'll get Will and Dr. Marcel."
"Thanks, Maggie," Jay said, finally sitting down again. You ran the fingers of your left hand over the stitches on your right wrist and started poking at them. "Uh, no," Jay told you as he saw what you were doing. You looked up at him. "I know it's your first time getting stitches, but I can promise you, as someone who has gotten over 100, they aren't as interesting as they seem."
Luckily, Jay was saved from telling you to stop messing with stuff when Will and Crockett entered.
"Y/N, you're okay, kid," Will said as he gave you a small hug, careful of your injuries. You just looked at him and nodded.
"Now, Miss Halstead," Marcel began, "how are you feeling?" You didn't say anything, just kept staring. "Does anything hurt?" Again, he received no response.
Will and Marcel shared a looked, they knew what this could be. And, that didn't go unnoticed by Jay. "What? What's going on?"
"She could have sustained other neurological injuries besides her concussion, as it seems like she can't hear us," Marcel answered.
"You're saying our sister's deaf?" Jay asked, horrified.
"That's not what I'm saying, but it is a possibility. I just need to do a quick neuro exam to be sure."
He reached into his pocket, causing you to flinch and move back on the bed, your heart rate rising as you remembered Keyes reaching into his pocket to grab the lighter. This did not go unnoticed by the three men in the room.
"Jay, hand me that whiteboard and marker behind you, would you?" Will asked.
Jay handed it to him. "What are you doing?"
"Writing down what Dr. Marcel's doing so that Y/N knows. Because, if she did lose her hearing, she has no idea what he's grabbing right now."
"Oh," was all Jay said. If his sister went deaf all because of him, he wouldn't be able to forgive himself.
Marcel's grabbing a flashlight, you read. And then he's gonna shine it in your eyes and you have to follow it w/o moving your head.
You nodded, understanding what he was doing, even though you could hear the whole conversation.
You completed the exam and everything seemed neurologically intact. The two doctors shared a look. "Jay, come with us," Will said.
"I'll be right back," Jay told you. He thought about squeezing your hand but thought it might be too early for him to do that without warning. When you squeezed Marcel's hand during the neuro exam, that didn't freak you out because Will had written it on the whiteboard, telling you what was about to happen.
"What's going on? She did everything right in there," Jay asked once they were out of the room.
"Everything is neurologically intact," Marcel answered.
"But..."
"But, she's traumatized, to say the least."
"So you're telling me that our sister won't talk because she's been through trauma?" Jay asked, quieter this time.
"Short answer, yes."
"Why?"
"There's a multitude of reasons. She might not feel safe and comfortable yet. Your captor might have told her if she talked, that he'd hurt her."
"He never said that to her," Jay said. "Not when I was there anyway." Then, he turned to his brother. "She's gonna talk, right? She won't be like this forever?"
"It's all up to Y/N, now," Will answered. "She'll talk when she feels like talking."
"Care to give me a timeline on that?"
"Could be hours, days, months. I've heard stories in my psych rotation of it taking years."
"So what do we do?"
"You just be there for her," Marcel answered Jay's question. "Both of you."
***
2 days since kidnapping
You were finally headed home after being stuck in the hospital, not that it really mattered to you anyway. The only difference was that you would get to sleep in your own bed and look at the pile of homework on your desk that should be getting done, but not doing it.
Jay unlocked the front door and you walked inside, glad to be home. "I'm gonna make us some breakfast. Anything specific you want?" Jay asked. You just shrugged. "Okay, breakfast burritos it is then."
You headed into the bathroom to shower while Jay was making breakfast. You hadn't looked at yourself in the mirror since you had been kidnapped, and quite frankly, you had no desire to. You had seen the number Keyes had done on your stomach, arms, and thighs, and you didn't want to see what he did to your face. If it looked as bad as it felt though, it'd give a toddler nightmares.
You stood in the shower, using mostly cold water, so your burns didn't hurt too badly. You used a washcloth in place of a loofa to avoid opening any stitches, cuts, or burns. And, you had switched out your face wash with Jay's since his didn't have scrubbing beads in it, so they didn't irritate the bruises on your face.
You showered and changed into your comfiest pajamas (careful to have your back to the mirror while changing so you didn't so much as peek at yourself), and wrapped yourself in your favorite blanket. You grabbed gauze, bandages, and the cream you were supposed to put on your burns to have Jay help you re-wrap your burn on your left arm. Then, you walked back into the kitchen, to see Jay wrapping up your burrito.
"Not only are we eating burritos, but you're one, too," Jay joked, referring to you being wrapped in a blanket, as he set the plate of food down in front of you.
You shrugged and nodded. You set the supplies on the table and then held your arm out to him. He moved a chair closer to you and spread the cream on the burn, put the bandages on top, and then wrapped it in the gauze. "Not too tight, is it?"
You shook your head no and then started to nibble on your burrito.
By the time you were only halfway done, Jay had eaten two burritos and put his plate in the dishwasher. "You're not getting up from the table until you finish that," Jay stated, turning to you.
You scowled at him, but he just smiled back. "I'll even watch Survivor with you while you eat. And we can watch as many episodes as you want...but if you don't finish that, we're only watching one episode. Sound good?"
You looked at him and nodded, and he went off to his bedroom to grab his laptop.
The episode started to play and you knew which one it was immediately: the three amigos episode where your favorite castaway was at the bottom with his two alliance members and they all played immunity idols to avoid going home that night. You looked at Jay and nodded, telling him that he made a good choice.
You slowly but surely finished your burrito, not before heating it back up in the microwave during the ad breaks, just before the end of the episode. "You know what episode comes next, right?" Jay asked as if you had no idea. "The one where Malcolm gets voted off."
That was your favorite player in Survivor that season, but seeing as you had seen that episode before, you knew it was coming. So, you just shrugged and moved to the couch to continue your binge-watching.
***
Jay slowly closed his laptop, trying to make as little noise as possible so he didn't wake you. The two of you had broken for meals and to go to the bathroom, but other than that, you had watched Survivor all day. Typically, Jay hated sitting around all day and doing nothing, since that meant he was being unproductive, something he had learned from his years in the military. But, seeing how distracted you looked when watching the show even though you knew what was going to happen, he knew he couldn't just leave you after everything that had happened.
You had fallen asleep halfway through the episode, so Jay finished it by himself, but was sure to jot down the time in case you wanted to finish watching it tomorrow. He turned on the lamp on the small table next to you and put a glass of water next to you in case you woke up in the middle of the night.
Typically, he'd sleep with a fan on, something that you now did as well, but tonight, tonight that was not going to happen. He knew he had to have as little background noise as possible in case you woke up screaming or gasping in the middle of the night.
***
You were chained to the ceiling once again. And, just like last time, your feet didn't touch the ground so you just hung there, practically limp. But, unlike last time, Derek Keyes was nowhere in sight.
You strained your ears to try and hear anything that would alert you that he was coming but you heard nothing, absolutely nothing except the clink of the chains when you moved.
That was until you heard yelling, Jay yelling to be precise.
"I said you for the drugs and this," There was a pause, you assumed so that Keyes could show whatever the hell it was to your brother. "this is not drugs!"
You heard Jay yell and then you heard a sound, like someone dragging a sack of potatoes across the floor. And, it was getting louder.
The door opened, revealing Keyes dragging Jay inside the room, followed closely by an associate of his. You tried to swing back.
"Get her down," Keyes commanded. "And then tie her up with that rope over there. Make sure her hands are tied in front of her though and leave a line of rope dragging on the floor."
"Don't touch her!" Jay spat with all the energy he had left.
Keyes punched Jay in the face. "Shut the fuck up!"
Jay spat out blood and made eye contact with you. I'm sorry he mouthed. You sucked in a breath, knowing that this would not be good for either of you if Jay was apologizing before anything even happened.
You were roughly taken down from the chains and tied up in the corner now. You could probably try and walk around, try and make a run for it even, but your hands were tied in front of you and that door would be too heavy for you to push open without them tied up. You needed a code, too. So, there was no escaping.
"Now, you're taking her place and you just get to watch," Keyes said as he chained Jay up to the ceiling.
"Do whatever you want to me! Just leave her alone!"
Keyes punched Jay in the stomach. "What did I say? Shut up!"
Keyes then walked over to you, pulling a lighter from his pocket. You tugged on the rope as hard as you could, moving your entire upper body to try and get loose, but it was no use.
"Now, I'm going to light the end of this and it's going to slowly travel up the rope and to your hands. Maybe I'll put the fire out when it just gets your hands, maybe I'll let you die a slow and painful death by fire. You'll just have to wait and see."
"Keyes you can do whatever you want with me! Just don't touch her!" Jay yelled, pulling on the chains and trying to move closer to you.
Keyes flicked open the lighter.
"Please no," you whimpered. He crouched down at the end of the rope, the flame dancing dangerously close to it.
Then, you heard a crash. Did Jay somehow pull off the unthinkable and break out of his chains?
"Y/N, Y/N wake up."
Wake up? What did that mean? You were awake. If you weren't you wouldn't feel the rope digging into your wrists--
You jolted awake as you felt someone gently touch your shoulder.
"Y/N, it's Jay. You're at home on the couch. You're safe." At this, you went to sit up but were stopped when you felt a wetness on your right wrist as if it had been sitting in water.
You turned and looked at your hand. It was covered in blood. Then, you looked at the floor and saw the broken water glass that Jay must've left out for you.
"I'm gonna throw a few towels on the floor and then we're gonna get you cleaned up, okay? Looks to me like you threw out a few stitches."
He left to go grab a few towels and then came back--this time with shoes on--and laid them on the floor. "Do you mind if I quick pick you up just to get you into the hallway? Wouldn't want you to get glass in your foot and have to get more stitches." You hesitated, but nodded, allowing Jay to carry you to the hallway, your blanket still wrapped around your shoulders, where he then set you back down and you followed him to the bathroom.
Jay flicked on the light and pulled out the first kit, while you pushed yourself up onto the counter using your good wrist.
"I need you to rinse it out," Jay said as he reached over and turned on the faucet. "That way, if it's really bad, I can tell and call Will to come over here. But, maybe we'll get lucky and we can just wrap it up for right now and get it restitched in the morning."
You placed your wrist under the running water, thankful that Jay had tested the temperature to make sure that it was not too hot and not too cold. After a few seconds, you took it back out and allowed Jay to gently pat it dry with a towel. Then, he looked at it and came up with his verdict.
"I think I know what happened," Jay started.
You furrowed your eyebrows. You didn't even know how this happened, so how did he know?
"I think you kept rubbing your wrist back and forth on that jagged edge of the table because there's a splinter in here." You jerked your arm away from him, hiding your hand back under the safety of your blanket. Ain't no way in hell he was digging into your open wound with a pair of tweezers, no way in hell.
"Relax, I'm not gonna take it out. I'm gonna call Will and he's gonna take it out and stitch you back up." You shook your head, no. No way were you even allowing your doctor brother to take a pair of tweezers into your open skin. "He'll numb it and everything, don't worry," Jay reassured you, pulling out his phone.
"Will! It's not Lanik calling to cover your shift, it's me." you listened to Jay's side of the conversation. "Y/N threw out some stitches and now there's a splinter in there, so I need you to come over and fix it." There was a pause. "Believe me, if I thought it could wait a few more hours, you wouldn't be getting this call." Another pause. "Yeah, you can just stay over here. No, just a blanket." Another pause, this time longer. "Yeah, I'll try and do that. See you soon."
He set his phone on the counter and turned back to you. "Okay, so here's the deal and I know you're not gonna like it." You raised an eyebrow at him, urging him to continue. "Will said that that needs to be wrapped in a clean towel." You pulled your wrist tighter against the fabric of your blanket. "And that is not going to cut it."
You shook your head, no. Your blanket was warm and it made you feel safe and secure when it was wrapped tightly around you. "Y/N, it's got blood on it." He paused, trying to figure out how he could do this. "Tell you what, if you let me wrap your wrist in a clean towel, I'll let you use my weighted blanket while yours is in the wash. Deal?"
Jay offering you his weighted blanket? What kind of fever dream was this?
Will had gotten that blanket for Jay when he got home from Afghanistan for the second time to help ease his nightmares. He kept it in his closet most nights now, but you did see him using it after some particularly rough cases. One of those times being when he had been kidnapped by Keyes the first time.
You nodded, telling him that you had a deal, and out your arm. He pulled a clean hand towel out of the closet and the medical tape from the first aid kit. Then, he wrapped up your wrist, not without you wincing, and taped it.
"Now, do you want to go to your room or the living room to wait for Will?" You pointed to yourself. "Your room it is then. Can I take that blanket? I promise I'll be back with the weighted one in three minutes tops," he promised.
Reluctantly you handed over the blanket, which blood had soaked through in a small spot, and then made your way into your room.
True to his word, Jay came back in holding his gray weighted blanket. He placed it over your shoulders, seeing as you were currently staring off into space, your mind wandering back to the nightmare that caused all of this.
What if Intelligence hadn't gotten Keyes the drugs? Was that what would've happened?
"Y/N," you were pulled out of your thoughts by Jay softly saying your name. You looked up at him. "Whatever you dreamt out there--because I know you were dreaming since I had to wake you up--it isn't real. Keyes is locked up and he won't ever be getting out." He didn't know that for sure, he just knew they had him and his associates in county at the moment, awaiting sentencing. But, he'd say anything to ease your fears.
You nodded half-heartedly at him and he looked at your desk, textbooks still open to where that had been before the kidnapping. "If you want to take a semester off, that's fine. If you want to go back or see if you can finish the semester online, that's fine, too."
You shrugged. In all honesty, you had no idea what you wanted to do. You knew you wanted to finish the semester because you didn't want all of your tuition money to go to waste, you just didn't know how you'd do it, if you even could do it.
"You don't have to make a decision now or even in a week, just keep it in mind." Jay grabbed your laptop off your desk and set it on your bed. "Mind if I sit next to you?"
You moved over, allowing him to sit on your bed and he opened the laptop and passed it to you, silently telling you to put in your password. You did so and handed it back to him. "Figured we could finish the episode you fell asleep watching."
Just as the episode had finished loading, you heard a door open and you pushed yourself back further into the bed. You could jump off and hide in the closet if you needed to. You didn't think you could fit under your bed anymore, but it was worth a try if--
"Jay! It's Will! Where are you two?"
You visibly relaxed as you heard his voice. Jay placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. "Breathe, it's just Will. It's just Will." He gave you a second to take a deep breath and exhale. "Good. Now, I'm gonna go get him and you're gonna go in the bathroom. We'll meet you there. Is that okay with you?" You nodded. "Good."
You made your way into the bathroom and sat on the counter again, your--well actually Jay's--blanket, still wrapped around you.
"Hey," Jay greeted Will as he stood in the living room, holding his medical bag, a backpack which Jay assumed held clothes since he was going to just spend the rest of the night here, a small whiteboard, and a pack of dry-erase markers. "What are the whiteboard and markers for?" Jay asked, taking Will's medical bag from him.
"Figured if Y/N was up to it, she could write on the board so we know what she's saying."
"Good idea."
"That's why I'm the doctor and you're the cop."
"Shut up. Y/N's in the bathroom waiting for you."
Will and Jay entered the bathroom to be met with you sitting on the floor sobbing. "Whoa, whoa," Jay exclaimed, crouching down next to you. "What happened?"
You shook your head, not wanting to tell your brothers. "It's okay," Will started, crouching down on the other side of you. He handed you the whiteboard and a purple marker, your favorite color.
You stared at it, wondering if you could do it. So, you just scribbled NO.
"Wanna tell us why?" Jay prompted.
You'll laugh at me.
"No we won't. We promise," Will reassured you.
You squeezed your eyes closed, letting more tears fall before you finally decided to tell them. I looked in the mirror for the first time since
You didn't finish writing the sentence, only set the whiteboard down and waited for them to read it.
Neither of them knew how to respond, because how did they respond to their little sister seeing her face covered in faded bruises for the first time? Jay wanted to say that it would all be okay, that he knew how you were feeling because of the number of times he had looked in the mirror and saw bruises on his face and body, whether in the rangers or from being a cop, but he knew it was different. It was different because being a girl came with more insecurities, one of them being your skin. And, even though you didn't wear makeup, this was different than not wearing makeup. You chose to not wear makeup. You didn't choose to have this happen to you.
So, Jay just wrapped one arm around you protectively and Will squeezed your good hand, both reminding you that they were there, even though they had no idea what to say at the moment. And, that was all you needed: comfort from family while you cried out all that you had been holding in.
After staying in that position for about ten minutes, you were finally calm enough to push yourself up onto the counter and let Will do his job. He unzipped his medical bag and pulled out a syringe and a bottle, of what you assumed to be the liquid that would numb the affected area.
"Hey, turn away now because I'm getting the needle out," Will told you. He turned to Jay. "You might want to, too."
You weren't afraid of needles per say, you just didn't like to see how big they were before you got the injection. It always helped to look away when you were getting an injection and to not look at it while the nurse or doctor was prepping.
Surprisingly, Jay was fine. Usually, his hands get all clammy and his face gets a bit pale. You just chalked it up to him not being the one being stuck with the needle this time. "I'm not gonna lie to you, Y/N," Will started, "This is gonna hurt since it's going into an open wound."
"Man, why would you tell her that?" Jay exclaimed as he unwrapped the towel from your wrist.
"Thought she might need to be prepared. Now, I'm just gonna wipe it down with some disinfectant and then give you the local anesthetic, and then I can get the sutures in."
Jay held out his hand for you, silently telling you to squeeze it. Will wiped it down and that didn't feel so bad.
"Hey, hey, look at me," Jay coaxed as he watched Will pick up the syringe. "Squeeze my hand as hard as possible. You won't hurt me, I promise."
Then, you felt the pain of the needle in your skin as you squeezed your eyes shut, gritted your teeth, and squeezed the ever-loving life out of Jay's hand. But, after five seconds, the needle was out and after a minute, you couldn't feel your wrist.
You let go of Jay's hand and Will pulled out a pair of tweezers to remove the splinter. After that, he disinfected the area once more and put in new stitches.
"Good as new," he told you.
Thanks, you wrote on the whiteboard.
"No problem, kid." You stifled a yawn. "Go get some sleep. We'll still be here in the morning. Promise."
You rewrapped the weighted blanket around yourself and looked at Jay, silently asking if you could keep it for the night. "I guess you can keep it just for tonight," he relented as your blanket had just finished in the washing machine and still needed to be dried. "Besides, if I need anything, I've got this knucklehead here to keep me company."
"Who you calling knucklehead, knucklehead?"
You rolled your eyes at their immaturity and walked to your room to go to sleep. But, instead of turning off the lights all the way like you normally did, you dimmed them. You knew you would be using that dimmer for awhile.
***
Will walked into your room the next morning--well, closer to afternoon actually--to see you still wrapped in Jay's weighted blanket, laying on top of your other bed sheets and comforter. The lights were still on and he was shocked that Jay didn't turn them off when he woke up this morning and it started to get light out.
"Y/N. Y/N, wake up." He gently touched your blanket-covered shoulder, making you flutter your eyes open ad look at him. "Morning, sleepyhead. Your head hurt? Any nausea?"
He waited for a beat to see if you would speak and when you didn't, he handed you the whiteboard and the marker.
No, why?
"Because it's 11 o'clock and you don't normally sleep this late and you have a concussion, so I'm worried about post-concussion symptoms."
I'm fine.
"Okay, well I'm gonna go make some food, give you some time to wake up."
You picked up your phone and saw a text from Jay telling you that your blanket should be dry and that he was at the district and would be home later.
You went into the kitchen and were about to go get your blanket from the dryer when you heard the flickering sound of a burner being turned on. Your eyes landed on the flame and you slowly walked backward, afraid that it would somehow burn you even though it was twenty feet away.
You winced as you backed into the table, hitting your low back. Immediately, Will turned off the burner and turned around. "Y/N? You okay?" You stood still and stared at the stove. "Hey, that noise was just the burner turning on. It wasn't anything else, I promise."
You swallowed the lump in your throat and nodded. Then, you dropped the blanket and made your way to the bathroom to go take a shower.
"If you're showering, be careful with your stitches!" Will yelled to you. "And, I'll help you re-wrap your burns after, too if you need."
You undressed and gently unwrapped the bandages from your burns.
Keyes did this to you.
Keyes' lighter did this to you.
Fire did this to you.
***
"Hey, man, good to have you back," Adam greeted Jay as he walked into the bullpen.
"Thanks," he replied, taking a seat on the edge of Hailey's desk.
"How are you doing?" Hailey asked. "You look tired."
"I mean, I've been better, obviously," Jay answered, rubbing a hand on his face. "Y/N popped some stitches last night when she had a nightmare, so we had to call Will and deal with that in the middle of the night."
"Halstead, here to make your statement?" Voight asked as he emerged from his office.
"Yeah, you wanna just do it out here? Because I know all of you want to know what happened and it'll save me a lot of talking if I only have to say it once."
"If that's what you wanna do, then we can do that."
Voight grabbed a notepad and a pen. "Start from the beginning."
"We were just going to grab lunch, that's all..."
Once he was done giving his statement, Jay was drained needless to say. He was in the locker room and God, all he could think of were your pleas for help when you were both held captive. He was sitting against the lockers, head in his hands, quiet sobs leaving his lips.
"Jay," Hailey alerted as she walked into the locker room. She slid down the lockers next to him. "Jay, hey, it's okay."
"It's not okay, Hailey!" He yelled. He took a deep breath. "Sorry, it's just, she hasn't said a goddamn word since she was rescued from that house."
Hailey wrapped her arm around Jay, allowing him to lay his head on her chest. "And you're keeping all your emotions in to stay strong for her so she doesn't break any more than she already is, aren't you?"
"How did you know that?" he whispered.
"Because I know you, Jay. You always look out for others but sometimes you forget to look out for yourself. Just remember that I'm here if you need me."
"Thank you."
Hailey ran a comforting hand through his hair. "What if she- what if she doesn't forgive me?"
"She knows it's not your fault. You did everything you could. Hell, you even tried to get her to escape all while knowing it would be worse for you when Keyes came back. You did a good thing, Jay."
"She looked at herself in the mirror for the first time last night," Jay stated.
"What?" Hailey asked, confused.
"She hadn't looked in the mirror since before all this went down. Me and Will walked into the bathroom and she was sobbing. I didn't even know what to say to that. What do I do if she doesn't talk again, Hailey? I didn't know what to say when she broke down last night. If I can't do that, how am I going to handle the rest of this?"
"You just have to remember one thing. Y/N's still in there. It might take a little digging, but underneath all the dirt that Keyes buried her in, she's still there, just underneath it. You and Will just need to dig her out, one shovel-full at a time. And, I'm sure all of us will help with some of that digging."
"Thank you," Jay choked out.
How did I get so lucky? he thought to himself.
They stayed like that for a few minutes, Hailey still running a hand through Jay's hair and giving him the comfort he so desperately needed.
"I better get going," Jay whispered.
"I understand."
Jay stood up first and held out his hand to help Hailey up. He splashed some water in his face and dried it, trying to get rid of the tear stains and Hailey took something out of her locker.
"What's this?" he asked, taking the book, Corrupt, and a bag of pumpkin spice coffee from her.
"I saw the book on Y/N's to-read list on Goodreads and figured she could use the distraction. And, I remember her complaining one day about running out of pumpkin spice coffee."
"Where'd you find it? She looked everywhere for it and she couldn't find it because it's out of season."
"Never underestimate the power of Amazon," Hailey smiled.
"You're the best, Hails, really."
"So I've been told."
Jay rolled his eyes at that comment and the two parted ways, but not before Jay gave her a quick kiss on the cheek when no one was watching.
***
"How's she doing?" Jay whispered to Will as he entered the house.
Will motioned for Jay to follow him since you were sitting on the couch watching tv.
"I turned on the stove and she freaked, man," Will told his brother as soon as they were in Jay's room safely out of earshot of you. "She just like backed into the table and then she went and took a shower and everything was normal after that."
"Still no talking?"
"Not a word."
"Damn."
"She'll come around. She's a Halstead, our stubborn asses don't go down without a fight."
"You're right about that."
"I'm always right, little brother. We just have to wait."
"I don't think I have to tell you that Halsteads don't have a patient bone in their bodies. And, you are not always right. If I recall correctly, you violated a DNR your first year at Med, which was wrong."
"Okay, so I've been wrong sometimes, but I'm right most of the time."
"Shut up. Now get out so I can change."
You were continuing your Survivor binge when you felt the couch dip next to you. You looked up to see Jay.  I didn't even know you were home, you scribbled on your whiteboard.
"Just got home about ten minutes ago. I tried to be quiet in case you were sleeping. Hailey got these for you."
He handed you a book and a bag of coffee. How'd she know?
"Mentioned something about you complaining about being out of that coffee and she looked on that one website you use for your books."
Goodreads?
"Yeah, that."
You better keep her. I approve.
"Shut up," Jay joked. "And you better erase that before Will sees."
You erased it just before Will returned, this time carrying a bowl of popcorn. He sat down on the other side of you.  "Now, what episode are we on?"
And, you picked up the remote started the next episode.
***
4 weeks since kidnapping
"Coffee, kid?" Jay asked as you sat at the table eating a bagel. You had been up for two hours already and it was only seven am. You nodded at him and he pulled out another mug from the cupboard. "How long have been up? You're looking a little tired."
2 hours you wrote on the whiteboard.
Even though it's been a month and the bruises had disappeared, the burns had turned into scars, and the stitches had been removed, one thing hadn't healed: your will to talk. Everyone around you had been waiting for you to utter a single word, but it hadn't come yet. They'd gotten used to you writing in dry erase marker to communicate.
You had resumed all of your classes online so that you didn't have to go to class. At first, some professors were skeptical that you'd be able to pass the class because of how much time you missed, but when you, Will, and Jay showed up to your university's administrators and your  academic advisor to explain the situation accompanied by Voight, they relented. It helped to have the most infamous cop in Chicago on your side.
You put your head in your hands. "Hey, hey." Jay placed a hand on your shoulder and bent down so his eyes were level with yours. You lifed your head. "Everything's gonna be okay. We're gonna get through today and the next and the next. We've made it this far. We've got no choice but to continue," he told you, the last two quotes being something that Mouse had told him when they had both returned from Afghanistan as shells of the men they had previously been.
"And before you question me, I know this because you're coming to the district with me today. And, no, it's not up for discussion."
Okay, but I'm driving myself, you wrote, not in the mood to argue right now.  
"Listen, as long as you go, I could care less how you get there."
***
"Morning mini Halstead," Adam said as you entered the district.
"Damn, Ruz. Not running late for once? I'm shocked," Jay joked.
"I'll have you know that I am very punctual."
"Wow, using big boy words," Jay quipped as he punched in the code and then placed his hand on the palm scanner.
"Morning, Jay," Hailey said, giving Jay a kiss once he was settled at his desk.
"Morning, Hails."
Adam made a gagging sound and you smacked him on the chest. Shut up, they're cute, you wrote on your whiteboard.
"Yeah, Adam! Shut up, we're cute!" Jay yelled.
Yes, now everyone knew that Hailey and Jay were a couple. Yes, they had filled out the proper HR forms. No, neither had been fired. Yes, they were still partners. And, no, Will still hadn't given you your fifty bucks. Yes, he had probably forgotten all about the bet you two had made.
"Alright, everyone listen up!" Voight yelled as he came out of his office. "Seeing as everyone wanted to run out early last weekend, you know what day it is. Everyone's favorite: paperwork."
The unit groaned and you just scribbled on your whiteboard. Haha, you have to do big kid homework.
"Yeah, yeah, it's hilarious," Jay replied. "Now, if I'm not mistaken, you've been complaining about a test."
You rolled your eyes and walked into the breakroom, leaving the door open in case they started messing around and you wanted a break.
***
It was nearing eleven when you heard an unfamiliar voice in the bullpen. "Taser recertification day everyone. To testify in court, you need to be tased at least once every year to know the effects."
Taser. Keyes. Pain. Burns. Terrifying. No, Y/N, you can't think that. He's locked up 23 and one. Now, focus on your damn homework.
Which amendments are also known as the Reconstruction amendments?
Buzz
Buzz
Buzz
13th, 14th, and 15th amendments.
You heard Kevin grunt. "Bigger they are, the harder they fall."
What are the three clauses in the 13th amendment?
"Who's next?"
"Fine, I'll do it. Not like this hasn't happened before. Just, please do my shoulder. Lord knows I've taken more hits to my pecs and abdomen than I can count."
Yelling and groans of pain...from none other than your brother.
Keyes. Keyes had found you guys and he wanted to finish what he started. Somehow he had gotten in here and stolen the taser and now he had Jay. It was just a matter of time before he found you, too.
There weren't any perfect hiding places in here, but if you moved the couch you might be able to crouch behind it and call for help before he found you. You could call Kelly or Will and tell them to call another precinct to get over here and fix it. Because, if Keyes had gotten in here and gotten his hands on a taser, then the cops in the 21st district precinct obviously couldn't do their jobs.
You got off your chair, staying close to the ground to make it harder for Keyes to spot you. You pulled, moving half of the couch away from the wall.
"What was that?"
Shit, he found you.
You could fit behind there, right? Yeah, yeah you could fit behind there.
"Who moved the couch?"
You hugged your knees to your chest, hearing footsteps coming closer and closer to you, and squeezed your eyes shut.
Someone touched your arm and you uncurled yourself and started kicking. You heard someone moan in pain as you felt your boot-clad foot make contact with someone else. You hoped it was Keyes.
"Stop fighting! Stop fighting!" You felt another person coming closer and closer to you and you swung your arm out, palm making contact with what you assumed to be someone's cheek.
"Y/N! Y/N! It's me, Jay! The person you just slapped is Jay. And the person you kicked is Adam. You're in the district, you're safe."
You opened your eyes and slowly blinked a few times. You saw Jay in front of you holding his hands up in surrender, a red mark on his left cheek. Adam was rubbing his shin and Voight, Hailey, Kevin, and Kim were all standing in the doorway with looks of worry spread across their faces.
Tears began to roll down your cheeks. You couldn't believe you just did that.
Jay nodded to everyone and they left the room, Adam closing the door behind him. You looked down; you couldn't even bear to look at Jay.
"You're okay," he whispered. "Do you know where you are?" You nodded. "Good, that's good. That's really good."
You hugged your knees to your chest once more and frantically shook your head back and forth.
"I know you don't think it's okay, Y/N. But, I forgive you. I know it wasn't you who was doing that. Hell, I know better than anyone else in this unit. I know you're showing PTSD symptoms and that's fine. We just gotta take it day by day."
You finally looked up at him. Your lips began to tremble and your body shook with sobs. It had been a month! This should be over by now! You should be back to normal by now! Why the fuck couldn't you just get over it?
"I know it's hard, I know," Jay whispered. "Can I touch you?"
You nodded and he somehow squeezed himself next to you and wrapped you a hug, letting you cry it all out once more.
Ten minutes had passed and you were sure you had run out of tears when Jay said, "Let's go grab some Oreos from the vending machine downstairs, and then we can get out of here. What do you say?"
You nodded and he helped you to your feet. Then, you put everything in your backpack and walked out of the breakroom.
"You're okay little mama," Kevin said and enveloped you in a hug before you got past his desk. "You're good."
You managed to give him a small smile before you turned to Adam and pulled out your whiteboard.
I'm so sorry.
"It's not that bad, really. Beats getting kicked in the balls on a case any day."
You and Jay were walking down the stairs when you saw Voight. "Give that taser certification guy hell for me, will you?" Jay asked.
He nodded and gave you a pat on the back, Voight's version of a hug.
***
6 weeks since kidnapping
Jay put the finishing touches on your cupcake, complete with chocolate frosting and sprinkles, before sticking the candle in the top. Today was your 21st birthday. He had already made the mimosa you said you wanted to have when you woke up (you had mentioned it 3 months before and he had put it in his calendar to remind himself) and it was sitting in the fridge to keep cold. He grabbed his lighter and walked to your room.
Voight was nice enough to give him and Hailey the day off so they could spend it with you, during the day that was. You had mentioned that you wanted to go out with some friends to a bar, but that was before everything had happened six weeks ago, so he assumed it wasn't on. Nevertheless, he, Hailey, and Will were still on a mission to make this birthday memorable...even if your first drinking experience at a bar would happen at Molly's with your brothers and their friends instead of out at a bar or club with your friends.
He flicked on a lamp when he got to your room and then walked to your bedside, gently shaking your shoulder. "Y/N, wake up."
You rolled over and slowly opened your eyes and rubbed the sleep out of them. Seeing Jay with a cupcake in his hand, you gave him a close-lipped smile.
"Happy, happy birthday. Today's your special day. You just got a cupcake, now blow the flame away. Hey!" Jay sang and then pulled out an orange lighter and flicked it open.
Your eyes grew wide as the flame danced from the lighter and onto the candlewick.
"Make a wish." He held the cupcake closer to you.
"I'll be quiet, I promise!" You scrambled backward and into the furthest corner of your bed away from Jay and the fire he was currently holding towards you.
He hadn't heard you speak in a month and a half, no one had.
Quickly, Jay blew out the candle and pocketed the lighter. Holding his hands up in surrender, he just stared at you as you began to shake in fear.
"Y/N," Jay whispered, still holding his hands to show you that the lighter wasn't in his hands. "I'm not going to hurt you."
You didn't look up. You didn't stop shaking.
He was lying. It was a ploy to get you to talk so that he could burn you longer.
He took a risk and touched your arm and you yanked it away, expecting it to burn. "I'll be quiet, I promise!" you repeated.
"Y/N, it's Jay. Do you know where you are?" He flicked on the light, hoping that would help.
No answer.
"You're in Chicago. You're at home. It's your birthday. Keyes isn't going to burn you, I promise."
At the mention of Keyes and burns, you swatted at the air, hoping that you could knock the lighter out of Keyes' hand when he didn't have it flicked open.
"Okay, noted," Jay muttered to himself. He had never seen you this bad before, not right after the attack, not after the nightmare, hell not even after the taser recertification incident. You had never shaken in fear during any of those occurrences when your triggers made a surprise appearance.
But then, he put two and two together: him being taken away from you, you never being burned when he was there and then having burns when they rescued you, jumping when anyone turned on the stove, and now freaking out when he pulled out a lighter and lit a candle for you on your birthday, you not talking and promising to be quiet after he pulled out a lighter and moved the cupcake towards you. It all made sense now.
"Hey, I'll be right back, okay?" he told you, even though he knew you weren't able to hear him.
Jay made his way to his room and pulled out his gray weighted blanket. Then, he walked back into your room. You were only in your bra and underwear when you were with Keyes, so maybe having something else covering your body, despite the fact that you were currently fully clothed right now, would help.
Something soft and heavy landed on your legs. It didn't feel like Keyes was on top of you. It felt more comforting, calming, warm like you had more clothes on. Maybe Jay had somehow gotten his shirt back and had given it to you to keep you warm in this basement.
Wait, where did that lamp come from? There was only one lightbulb in here the last time you checked. And, why did it feel like you were sitting on something comfortable like a couch or a bed instead of on a cold, hard concrete floor?
Why was Jay standing up and not chained or tied to the wall? How did his face heal from the bruising so fast? Why was he wearing his pajamas?
Wait a minute, was that Jay's weighted blanket in your lap? And, was that your desk in the corner?
Jay noticed you looking around the room. "Do you know where you are now?" You nodded. "You know you're safe and in your room, right?" You nodded again, then took a deep breath and stretched out your legs, and moved forward, removing yourself from the corner and moving closer to Jay. "Do you still want your cupcake?"
You nodded and he handed it to you. "Are you okay going to see Dr. Charles today? I know you already had an appointment this week, but I think it might be good if you saw him again after what just happened." You nodded, agreeing with him. "You mind if Hailey comes over and stays with you? I gotta get ready and take care of something."
You gave him a thumbs up and he went to call Hailey while you sat in bed and tried to forget about the episode you just had by enjoying your cupcake.
***
"Halstead, what are you doing here?" Casey asked as Jay entered the firehouse after Hailey came over to stay with you.
"Oh thank God you guys are on shift. Severide here?" Jay asked.
"Yeah, in his office. Anything going on that I should know about?"
"Not really, I think I know why Y/N doesn't like fire though and I need the evidence pictures from the arson from when we were kidnapped to make sure I got it all straight."
Jay knocked on the door to Kelly's office and he looked up and waved him in.
"Jay, what are you doing here? Isn't it Y/N's birthday?" he asked, turning his chair around so he was now facing Jay instead of his desk.
"That's kinda why I'm here. She had an episode this morning when I gave her a cupcake. I tried to light the candle and then she flipped out and yelled I'll be quiet, I promise."
"She's talking?"
"All she did was repeat that sentence. The minute she saw the lighter and when the flame got close to her face, she freaked. So, I know this going to sound crazy, but is there any chance you found a small handheld lighter when you investigated the arson?"
"Let me see..." Kelly unlocked his filing cabinet and flipped through it, looking for the evidence file Jay had requested. "Here it is."
He laid the folder on the desk and Jay leaned over. He clenched his teeth as Kelly opened the folder, seeing the basement he was held captive in once more, even if it was covered in ash.
"Wait a minute, it's barely in the frame, but there's the end of the lighter. Let me friend the file on my computer and I can zoom in on it," Kelly suggested.
The clacking of keys could be heard as Kelly found the file and opened it, quickly finding the correct picture and pressing a few keys to zoom in on it.
"Oh, God," Jay whispered.
"What? What is it?"
"That lighter, it's the same color as the one I used to light Y/N's candle this morning. No wonder she freaked out."
"But why would she keep saying she'd be quiet?"
Jay nodded, pulling up a chair and sitting next to him. His eyes widened. He hadn't seen you get burned when he was with you, but what if that's what happened to you when they did the drop?
"Any way you can print that zoomed-in image out for me? I gotta get to Med."
"I can do that."
Kelly printed the picture and handed it to Jay. "Thanks, man. I'll get you a round at Molly's." Then, he quickly left and sped off to med, putting the pieces together.
***
Will was just walking out a treatment room, rubbing hand sanitizer in his hands, when a very determined Jay walked through the ED doors. "April, you mind charting the next patient? Jay's here and with that look on his face, well he's not gonna leave until he gets what he wants."
"Yeah, no problem. Good luck."
"Thanks." Will rolled his eyes.
"Will! Will I need to ask you something and you can't blow me off about this or claim patient confidentiality or some other legal bullshit."
"Legal bullshit? You're the cop here buddy, I'd expect you to care about the law more."
"Whatever, just is there some place we can talk?"
"Jay, I'm working. Can't this--"
"It's about Y/N," Jay blurted, knowing that that would most definitely get his older brother's attention.
"Okay, c'mon."
Will led the way to his office and once inside closed the door. "What's going on? What's so important about Y/N that you came to talk to me during my shift, not about a case, and left Y/N home alone on her birthday?"
"One, she's not home alone. Hailey's with her. And two, it's because I think I know how she got those burns."
"Fire, Jay. She got those burns from fire."
"I know that, smart ass. I mean, I think I know exactly how she got the burns." He laid the photo down on the desk. "That, that's a lighter. Now, if I remember correctly, first-degree burns are the worst because the fire directly hit the skin. Could that lighter have been the cause of her burns?"
Will typed away on his computer, pulling up the pictures of your burns, and looked closely at them, switching his attention from the picture of your burns to the evidence picture with the lighter. "But that's impossible," Will muttered. If the fire started at the floor and went to the walls, you'd either have burns on your feet and legs and/or on the left side of your body. But, you had them on both arms, your stomach, and your collarbone. And, the fire hadn't gotten high enough to be able to burn your upper body. "Unless..."
"Unless what, Will?"
"It's impossible to get these burns just from a burning building from the trajectory of the fire and the location of the burns. But, judging by the location and the severity of her burns, these most likely were made by Keyes holding the lighter to her, for longer than a few seconds. He had to have the lighter to her collarbone and stomach the longest, just by how bad those two are."
"You're sure?"
"I'm pretty damn sure, Jay. But, the only person who can tell if us if we're actually right, is Y/N. And, I don't think she's gonna wanna talk about this."
"Can you make her an emergency appointment with Dr. Charles?" Jay asked. "And, can you make sure you're there during the appointment, too?"
"What, why?"
"She had an episode this morning when I gave her a cupcake to wake up. I went to light the candle, she saw my lighter and the flame and flipped out. Then, she said that she promises to be quiet. You don't think- you don't think she burned her for talking do you?"
Will closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. It all made sense: the not talking, the jumping when he turned on the stove, freaking out when Jay lit a candle.
"Based on what she's done, it makes sense. But, I'll consult with Dr. Charles before the appointment to tell him what's going on."
"Thanks, man. Bring those pictures to him, too."
Then, Jay left the office, thinking that between two of them and Kelly, that they had solved the mystery of why you hadn't talked in a month and a half.
***
You walked into Dr. Charles' office very confused to say the least. Hailey was waiting outside, but Jay and Will insisted on coming with you to this appointment; you just chalked it up to them being more worried about you than usual.
But, as you sat between your brothers on the long couch with Dr. Charles seated in the chair in front of you, you got a pit in your stomach. This felt more like an intervention.
"Y/N," Dr. Charles started, "Are you okay if your brothers sit in on this one? Or do you want them to leave?"
You pulled out your whiteboard. I'm just wondering why they're here with me in the first place. I know this morning was bad, but I didn't think it was that bad.
"You know, that's a very good question and I'm really glad you asked that. Jay, would you like to tell Y/N where you went earlier today?"
You turned to Jay expectantly. "I went to see Kelly and I asked him to show me the crime scene photos from Keyes' place."
At the mention of Keyes, you tensed up. Will squeezed your shoulder. "Y/N, remember those relaxation techniques I taught you?" Dr. Charles asked. You nodded. "How about you try one right now."
You closed your eyes and pictured a beach, the waves crashing against the shore, the feeling of sand between your toes. You walked closer to the water's edge and felt the coolness of the freshwater, whisking the sand from between your toes away. You felt the sun on your face and squinted your eyes against the brightness of the day.
"Better?" Dr. Charles asked as he noticed your breathing had become slower and most of the tension had left your body. You nodded. "Go to the beach again?" You nodded in confirmation again. "Good, I can tell it's a place that really relaxes you. Are you okay for Jay to continue?"
You turned to Jay, hoping that was answer enough. And it was because he continued explaining why he needed the crime scene photos. "I knew that there was a possibility that Keyes' could've been the one to burn you, but I didn't know. So, I went to Kelly to see if there was a lighter in any of the crime scene photos. There was, an orange one to be exact."
Keyes flicked the orange lighter open, playing with the flame and letting it move in between his fingers.
"Y/N, the beach, remember the beach," Dr. Charles prompted, bringing you back to the present moment after you took a few deep breaths while thinking of the fresh smell of the water and the sand.
Jay looked at you, silently asking if it was okay to continue. When you nodded, he started once more. "So, I saw that and I remembered that you'd promised to be quiet this morning. I came to Med to talk to Will, and between the two of us, well we figured out that he'd burned you, Y/N."
Your eyes filled with tears at the memories of how terrified you had been. You were so sure you were going to die that day.
"Did he play some sort of sick, twisted game with you, Y/N?" Will asked.
You looked down as your lip began to quiver. He had, you wanted to say, but you couldn't bring yourself to do it. He told me that if I talked he'd hold the lighter there longer and that's why the ones on my stomach and my collarbone are the worst and the one on my thigh isn't as bad because he said I was learning the game. That was what you wanted to say at least, but you couldn't even part your lips.
Dr. Charles handed you a bottle of water and you took it from him, feeling the coolness in your hands, a reminder that fire was nowhere near you at the moment. "Y/N I think he burned you if you talked, is that it? Just nod your head yes or no, you don't have to talk or write if you don't want to. You are the one in control here. And, if you don't want to tell us if he burned you for talking or what the game was, that's fine, too."
You moved your head up and down once, confirming both of your brothers' worst fear: Keyes had burned you for talking.
Jay wanted to speed all the way to Stateville Prison and burn that son of a bitch Derek Keyes for what he did to you. But, somehow, he kept his cool and just looked at you with soft eyes and grabbed your hand.
"Y/N, I have something I want to try," Dr. Charles started, "I've already told Jay and Will about it just so that they won't freak out, but whether or not you actually want to try it, that's all up to you. We do whatever you want to do."
You looked up at Dr. Charles with glassy eyes.
"There's this therapy called in vivo exposure therapy, nicknamed flooding. What happens is, we take the patient's biggest fear, in your case that would be fire and talking, and we bring it out in the open, exposing you to your biggest fear in a safe and secure environment. The logic behind this is that the anxiety and adrenaline only last for a certain amount of time and once those drop, you realize that your fear of this was unwarranted."
What would it entail? you wrote.
"What would happen is that either Jay, Will, or I would hold an open lighter near you."
You frantically shook your head no and leaned more into Will.
"Okay, then we won't--"
"Listen, Y/N," Will started. "You are in a safe environment. We will not let anything happen to you. Ever. You gotta believe us on that. We just wanna hear you talk again. Let us help you. Let me help you. You will be safe the entire time and if you want me and Jay to sit on either side of you, like we're doing now, while Dr. Charles holds the lighter, we can do that. Isn't that right, Jay?"
"He's absolutely right, kid. We'll be right here the entire time."
You grabbed your whiteboard and took a deep breath. And you promise this will work? You promise there will be a drop in my anxiety at some point?
"I think that there's a very high chance that will work. And, I can promise you that there will be a drop in your anxiety during this because there always is a drop. If we got anxiety and then that fight or flight instinct didn't leave, well life would be scary all the time. And that's just not how life works," Dr. Charles answered.
Okay, you wrote. We can do it.
"Do you want me or one of them to hold it?"
You pointed to Dr. Charles.
What relaxation technique should I use to calm myself down?
"I'd recommend using the body scan because it takes the longest, but you can use whatever technique you want."
You nodded and closed your eyes.
"You ready?"
You nodded once again and Will wrapped his arm around your shoulder in the protective-oldest-brother-way he always had and Jay gave your hand a squeeze, silently reassuring you that everything would be okay.
"Start by relaxing your feet now, so that you're that you're in the right headspace."
You clenched and unclenched your toes, taking slow deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth, relaxing your toes one by one and focusing only on those sensations.
You heard the lighter flick open before you felt it. But when you felt it, it was near your face.
The smell of blood pierced your nostrils, whether it was yours or Jay's you had no idea. You were being held by one of Keyes' associates, his arm strongly wrapped around your shoulder. This time, you weren't hanging from the ceiling, but your arms were chained to the sides of you. Part of the chain laid in your right hand and it felt so heavy that you thought your hand was going to fall off.
He was saving the best for last, he was going to burn your face and let you burn from top-down. The fire would start at your cheek, move up to your nose, and then your eyes. You didn't want to even think about how much pain you'd feel when it hit your eyes. But, maybe you'll have passed out from shock, fear, or exhaustion by that point. You hoped you would.
Salty tears made your way down your face as you realized that this was it. You'd never see your brothers or your best friend again. You'd never graduate college. You'd never get to pick out the perfect wedding dress and walk down the aisle to marry the love of your life. Your last moments would be spent being burned alive in a basement, hoping against hope that someone would get here fast enough to rescue you. And, even though you knew Jay's unit was fast and wouldn't stop until you were safe, your hope was quickly fading.
"Any last words?"
"Please, please, no! I'll do anything! Anything!" you yelled, tugging on the chains.
But, he didn't burn your cheek for talking. Keyes broke the rules of his own game.
This was bad. It was just going to be worse for you. Your chest started moving up and down, trying to pass out from hyperventilation as fast as possible.
"Focus on your feet. Move the relaxation to your feet."
Who was that? It sounded like Dr. Charles.
"Relax, relax, relax."
Will was here, too?
But, whatever the reason, you focused on relaxing your feet. Maybe it would make dying easier.
The lighter hadn't moved closer to face as you made your way up your legs and relaxed your knees. Was Keyes going to burn you? Or, was he going to let you go?
"If you're gonna kill me, Keyes, then just do it!"
No answer.
You slowed your breath even more.
If Keyes didn't answer, that meant that he wasn't here. That meant, it was only fire. And, without Keyes to hold the fire. Fire couldn't hurt you. It couldn't hurt you.
"It can't hurt me. It can't hurt me," you whispered to yourself.
You dropped your head and shoulders and started to pant as the adrenaline wore off. Slowly you opened your eyes. "It can't hurt me," you said so that everyone in the room could hear.
Dr. Charles flicked the lighter closed.
You looked at each of your brothers. The person who you thought was Keyes' associate was just Will with his arm around you. And, what you had thought was part of the chain in your hand, was just Jay squeezing your hand.
"Thank you," you said to all three of them.
You turned to Will, to see him crying. "Why are you crying?" You turned and saw that Jay had tears in his eyes, too.
"I know the statistics of coming back from something like that, Y/N, of talking again. And I was scared- I was scared that you wouldn't come back from it."
"Hey, you're okay. We're okay," you repeated something that everyone has been telling you the past weeks.
You turned to Jay, knowing that this needed to be said. "And, Jay?" He looked you directly in the eyes. "I forgive you."
And that was all it took for a stray tear to roll down his cheek and for him to pull you into a hug. "I love you kid, you know that?"
"I love you, too. Both of you. Thanks for not giving up on me."
"Not a chance in hell," Will told you.
"Now, what do you say we go grab that mimosa?" Jay suggested.
"Yeah, let's do that."
The three of you said goodbye to Dr. Charles and left his office, meeting Hailey in the hallway. "I never got a chance to properly thank you for the book and coffee, Hailey, so thank you."
A smile grew on Hailey's face. "You're welcome." Then, she turned to Jay. "I told you she'd come around."
"You were right, babe...as always." Jay grabbed Hailey's hand in his and interlocked their fingers. "Think you can get someone to cover your shift, Will? Come out with us for some good old-fashioned brunch and day-drinking?"
"I think I might be able to manage that. Text me the place and I'll meet you there."
He started to walk away, on a mission to get someone to cover for him, when you remembered something. "Will, you owe me fifty bucks!"
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aboardthehavocmarauder · 3 years ago
Text
Beautiful Mischief [Pt. 9]
Bad Batch x Reader • Angst/Fluff/NSFW (yknow the whole deal) • Mechanic [hidden Jedi] ! Reader • Female reader
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“You’re leaving soon?”
“I need to go on Kamino, and find the answers myself if Obi Wan hasn’t yet”
“Y/N I...I can’t have you kill yourself”
“Rey, I promise I won’t” Y/N reassures her vod without the blood as Reylen brought her into her embrace.
“Remember what we planned when we were kids?”
“Yes”
“You’ll meet me there...when it’s finally over”
Y/N squeezed Reylen in her embrace feeling her grip onto her cloak.
“I promise”
“You modified this rust bucket a lot” Crosshair comments as he helps Tech get ready to launch.
“I do what I can” Y/N replies sitting at her station checking on the diagnostics before prepping along with the two.
Hunter stares at Y/N from his seat sensing her tension, already making him worry as Echo caught on immediately.
“I have easy contact with Fives from the 501st, do you think we’ll need the back up?”
“The Bad Batch is the strongest out of the clones. I have faith we can handle this on our own. But you tell him if we need it, we’d give him the word” Y/N looked at Echo when she told him all of that, getting up and checking on a few things before launching.
“Wait for my call” Hunter informs Tech receiving a nod before following after Y/N seeing her simply take a minute to herself in the storage compartment.
“I know you’re there Hunt”
“Hmm. Thought I was stealthier than that”
“Not with me” Y/N watches him step in standing in front of her. “I’m okay”
“You’re not”
“I promise you that I am”
“Okay, well I’m not” Hunter admits taking Y/N’s face into his hands taking a deep breath giving her the second to do it herself as she carefully held his wrists. “We may face a lot more than just the Kaminoans. Could face the republic head on”
“Or Odious...”
“Or all of them. The republic was meant to protect you, but they failed to do their job and you’ve fallen. Yet that’s all they see. Ignoring all the recovery you’ve been through.”
“Hunter...”
“We risked our lives already, and are willing to do it again for your sake.”
“I won’t let anything happen to any of you...I won’t allow it” Y/N frowns looking him in the eye as Hunter slots himself closer feeling her hands move to his torso.
“I know cyar’ika” He says before pressing his lips against hers moving his hands to her waist keeping her close.
When the war is over
I want a life with you
And I don’t want to lose you before I can get that chance
Y/N leans into Hunter’s embrace in the comfort of his quarters as she hasn’t stopped thinking about the possibility of everything going wrong.
“Are you alright?”
“No”
“You can tell me what’s on your mind”
“...I’m afraid to”
Hunter frowns squeezing her a bit as Y/N held onto his arms pressing her back against his chest. He rests his head on her shoulder holding her until she started to calm down in his embrace.
“I’m fine with dying, Hunter. This isn’t just my fight but for now it should be. I don’t want any of you getting hurt because of my actions. Not anymore...”
“Like we’re going to allow that cray’ika” Crosshair interrupts the two’s private moment by eavesdropping and barging in.
“Cross”
“Okay since he decided to actually come in” Echo adds following the sharpshooter and sitting on the edge of the bed as Cross propped himself against the wall. “We won’t let you die”
“And before you start to argue. The first attack wasn’t just meant for Odious to capture you. Darth Maul had his own agenda. We would’ve had to stop him if we didn’t give a single fuck about you”
Y/N sighs leaning into Hunter more as she took Echo’s hand once it was extended to her.
“I can’t lose any of you”
“And we can’t lose you” Wrecker adds finally joining but staying out since him entering the room would make it claustrophobic.
“So we’ll fight until we win. And we won’t lose anyone” Hunter states.
Loves of my life
I will lay down my life for you
And you would do the same for me
But I can’t let that happen
Stepping onto Kamino felt like a mistake, but Y/N needed her answers.
“Something doesn’t feel right” Tech states following Y/N close behind her as she felt it. Something was off.
FIRE
Y/N ignited one of her sabers blocking a plethora of shots fired directly at her as Crosshair uses Tech’s shoulder to give him leverage with his rifle and took down the gatling gun firing resulting in a minor explosion causing the trooper manning it to fall. But Y/N caught them with the force giving Cross a look.
“We aren’t killing any body. Especially any of your brothers.”
“Y/N—-“
“They don’t know better. Good soldiers follow orders. Once the chip is revealed, with its flaws.” Y/N states. “The war will be over. Obi Wan failed to figure it out or he simply followed orders instead of caring about those in his life. I will fight my battle another day. But for now. I’m finishing this”
As the batch kept close to Y/N as she took lead walking over to the trooper that was orders to fire. She helped him up taking a step back before he could try anything.
“Who’s orders?”
“I have orders to not talk to you”
“Well then. Wrecker” Hunter calls watching Wrecker grab the trooper by the chest plate slamming him into the wall.
“Now. Who’s orders, reg?” Crosshair glares watching him struggle in Wrecker’s grasp.
“Chancellor Palpatine and General Obi Wan Kenobi” He continues to struggle before finally being dropped and before he could call it in. Echo grabbed his communicator tossing it to Tech to dismantle.
“You think the General is here?” Echo asks getting a tense look from Y/N as she retracts her sabers when the sound of hanger doors open.
Y/N stepped through the batch staring at the transporter ship making themselves visible. The doors close and the ship lands before the 501st and 212th poured out from the sides along General Skywalker and Kenobi.
“If you think you’re going to do anything to her—-“
“Shut up” Hardcase blurts getting smacked by Jesse for blurting that out loud.
“Excuse Hardcase, we’re not going to do anything to Y/N except bring her in under orders of the chancellor”
“Now what does the chancellor want, when the council has more a problem with me?” Y/N glares bringing one hand behind her and signaling Tech as he got to work with his visor. “Obi Wan. Qui Gon taught you better than this”
“Don’t you dare—“ Anakin stops when Obi Wan stepped forward.
“He did. But I believed in the order”
“Believed” Y/N frowns. “What’s stopping you from killing me like what many Jedi did to the sith and anyone that turned against the order?”
“Y/N but you didn’t—“ Echo frowns stopping himself when Hunter looked at him to.
“You, Y/N.” Kenobi frowns taking his cloak off causing an unnoticeable eye roll from Cody, his commander. “You were tortured. Under a control that you had no say in. I had to report it since you were once under our care and then not. You were controlled by sith. Everything had to be documented. Including the scans and labs we took. The chancellor wants us to take you in for questioning”
“Instead of solving the chip and who controls it. You care more about my factor in this? What a weird way of showing it. But I’m not going with you and I’m not hurting any of you to get away”
“So turn yourself in scum”
“Okay I will hurt him but the others I won’t” Y/N glares at Anakin keeping her hands away from her lightsabers knowing if she touched one, she’s a goner. “Hm”
“Y/N—“
“This is gonna take the hard way I guess” Y/N forced Anakin and Kenobi’s sabers into her hands before getting a head start into the building and before the batch could react, Tech had already deployed her BD unit to release a grenade that put an electric shock through the two battalions and generals.
“Let’s get going”
“How the fuck do you plan that?!”
“Tech is an analyst, Cross” Hunter laughs following Y/N as Wrecker grabbed Crosshair and Tech unexpectedly to hurry their pace.
Echo stayed behind for just a second staring at the battalions before quickly following. He hacked the door with his socket to make sure it stayed closed to give them enough time.
“You got a plan?”
“I know what I’m doing Hunt”
“Hm. Love this already” Crosshair laughs being set down when they reached the lab as Tech opens the camera on the BD unit with the datapad available seeing a few troopers coming through.
“They’re coming. What you have planned. Better hurry”
“And make it quick. I can’t always handle the hacking mechanisms in Kamino” Echo states already shutting down door by door as Tech kept them posted on the closer they got.
“HOW COULD YOU TRUST THIS—THIS TRAITOR”
“ANAKIN, SHE WAS MY PADAWAN. SHE WANTED THE LIFE YOU HAVE WITH PADMÉ AND GOT IT RIPPED AWAY FROM HER THE SECOND SHE LEFT THE ORDER. IMAGINE THE LOSE YOUVE EXPERIENCED TIMES A MILLION. SHE GAVE US ALL THE INFORMATION FROM HER ABUSER AND SO ON. EVERYTHING WE NEEDED TO KNOW AND I DIDN’T LISTEN TO HER. NOW SHES AN ENEMY OF THE STATE AND I CANT FIX THAT WITH MY INSTRUCTIONS TO KILL HER”
Tech froze hearing that last bit from Obi Wan from the cameras and seeing Anakin grow hesitant but a job is a job.
A job is a job
Taglist:
@xxeiraxx @meli-that-girl @Spp2011 @fennign
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mxnrly · 4 years ago
Text
the red house, changkyun
slight nsfw, thriller !
I wrote this like a year ago, when this song came out and I fell in love with the mv and the lyrics. If you want to see what the song is, here it is. Either way, I'm editing this at 2 am because I felt the need of posting it. I originally wrote this in spanish and it really took me a while sjdjs I hope you like it tho! 
tw: not too explicit nsfw, unprotected sex, dom/sub dynamic (both are switches, y’all see), pet name,  mentions of blood. 
wc: 6.8k
An idiot.
That's what I liked to call the kid who lived across the street. An undoubtedly attractive boy. Gorgeous and with a sensual aura like no other. He had an attractive look, and his presence was always full of mystery. He looked like a demon brought from hell, always wearing those dark denim pants that stuck to his legs, a white long-sleeved shirt and a leather jacket set with the logo of a serpent crossed with two swords.
His hair was always messy, because it was straight and he used to run his hand through it at all times. Not that I was constantly looking at him but, it was a twitch I had gotten used to seeing since I had known him.
The boy had been my neighbor for two years now, and every Saturday it was the same, he would leave the house and not come back until the next day. Whenever I told my best friend about him leaving, he told me to just stay away from him, that if I really wanted to keep his trust I should just forget about that boy and move on with my life. But, it was so easy to say or think about it, but not do it. Somehow, being neighbors was making my life difficult because now it seemed that my walls wanted to know about him too and they were getting thinner so that I could hear from when he was leaving until when he arrived.
My best friend's older brother, Jooheon, was the neighbor's best friend. I knew this because I had already seen him in front of the boy's door with his car, a black '69 GTO convertible and a beer in his hand. The two of them got along great because every day since I lived there, they always went out at the same time, no matter what.
That night I was partying with my best friend and a girl with whom I had started to form a friendship because she was in the art department, although she was just a year younger than us.
“You're crazy if you think we're going to let you go.” And there I was, another Saturday night wanting to go wherever my neighbors were.
“I see you've been very interested in him for a long time, what do you think they are doing?” asked the girl while Jooheon and the idiot went inside their house.
“I really don't know, but since he came to this place I want-”
“You want nothing, God, stop making her get any ideas." scolded the boy to the other girl.
The room suddenly became silent, and then somehow, I started to feel my throat and stomach warm. “I don't understand why you don't want me to go.”
“We've talked about this a million times. I'm just protecting you.”
“But from what? I won't know if you don't let me come closer.” My voice was getting louder and louder until it exploded. “You won't let me get close but I know you're as curious as I am, Jooheon is your brother!”
“Jooheon comes back every morning smelling of alcohol and cheap women's perfume. There are always cigarettes in his car and I've found underwear in the glove compartment, do you really want to continue with that curiosity? I don't know exactly what those two do but, believe me, they don't go to a lake to drink and have fun, they have their plans, do strange things and then come back as if nothing had happened.”
“Didn't you try to tell your mother?" asked the younger girl, suddenly causing the boy to deny instantly.
“One of the rules Heon gave me was that I had to keep silence, first of all if, I wanted to continue living with him. Until I'm legal, I can't buy an apartment on my own." he said with a shrug.
Silence reigned again somehow. There was only the faint music of an American artist whom we did not really know.
Staying out until the morning, I can hear the door.
I can smell all the whiskey and the smoke on your breath.
A chill ran down my back and I sighed. “I'm sleepy guys, the day was really exhausting from the beginning and we have a test on Monday so I want to take tomorrow off at dawn to study." I said faster than I planned.
Because tonight, sleep was the last thing in my plans.
Once they had left my house, I went to my room to change my clothes. I put on something comfortable to keep up with them. With my shoes on, I left my house taking my car keys. The boys were leaving the house so I had to hide quickly behind the vehicle. I felt the heaviness in my chest from doing something against my morals.
The sound of the GTO engine took me out of my thoughts. They came quietly out of the parking lot, giving me time to get into my car and start it. My heart started pounding but I stayed focused and started following the boys' car with some distance. They were getting further and further away from the circle of places I knew, but my curiosity seemed to dominate at this point over reason. I knew that was a bad sign, but I had gone far enough to take it back.
The car quickly drove off the road into some black buildings. Now, I knew that if I followed them in there I would look very obvious, so I drove past the place and saw that there was no way out. They were parked in front of a wall that was purple because of the neon light up there. Debating whether to go or not, I finally turned off the vehicle and started getting out of it.
I walked to the large green door which was lit by the purple light, noticing that, from the wall, a strange vibration could be felt. Music. That's all it could be.
I opened the door and instantly smelled the stench of nicotine and liquor. There was a certain mixture of lotions and perfumes that made everything more intense. The door closed behind me, making me shudder. Hell, I wanted to go home.
Resigned, I began to walk around the place watching my feet because there seemed to be unevenness everywhere. The place was painted red, although it was because of the coloured lights on the sides of different walls. Red was the only thing you saw, everything was tinted and it seemed to be a much scarier place than it really was.
I took the first glass I saw, smelling the strong smell of tequila and mint. I grimaced a little and took a sip, as I put it back in its place again. I couldn't see the boys anywhere and that was starting to scare me. What if they were somewhere else and had deceived me?
I was overthinking the situation, when I felt a strong pull on my arm. Someone had taken me in a very firm manner. Before I could protest, the person who had alienated me showed his face.
And I saw him. I was dazed at seeing his face tinted by the red lights.
“I told you not to come, why don't you ever listen to me?”  my best friend, the one who always prohibited me to come to where his brother was, asked almost above the level of the music. My mind was beginning to wander, but I held on.
“What do you mean, don't come? You had told me that you had no idea what they were doing, and now it turns out that you are one of them?”
The boy rubbed his face lightly and took me by the shoulders. “You're crazy, they're going to kill you. Get out of here, now.”
That made my world stop. Kill?
“What are you saying?” But before he could even answer, the light went out making the music go away, causing all the people to scream. Several people beside me ran past, knocking me to the ground, and I feared the worst.
I squatted in fear without really knowing what to do, when I suddenly stopped and hit someone running in my direction. I felt a camera flash in my face and my stomach turned over. The flash went off leaving me stunned. The person took my hand and started running towards what appeared to be the other side of the room, opposite the direction of where the exit door was. Suddenly the screaming stopped and the door lock was heard being set. My legs shook and I swallowed hard. I didn't know anything about self-defense, so I thought about the only thing I was supposed to protect myself and that was my car keys. I grabbed, with each key I had between my fingers, making a fist with spikes in case this person got too far.
Then the light came, but not the artificial light. A natural light. A candle.
I looked at the back of the person who had lit the device, noticing a snake on his back. Oh God.
“You're lucky I brought you this far. People usually die in the state you were in, not to mention that it's your first time in the red house.”
My mind was spinning. Death? Red house?
“I'm sorry, I…”
“I know you don't understand anything, you don't have to worry, (Y/N). Things are simple…”
“Wait wait, how do you know my name?”
The boy smiled, but only because he didn't answer my question. “I am Changkyun, so we are even.”
A small silence formed. There were hasty footsteps on the other side of the door and desperate hands trying to find a room, I supposed.
“Quiet," he said, "no one is going to come in, but they can’t know that we’re here.”
“So, are you going to explain to me what this is all about?” I asked, anxiety in my voice.
“Listen, this place isn't for people like you," he said with a dark look in his eye. “Every Saturday there is a massive party where people come to play something like hide and seek," he said with a touch of mockery, but there was more to his voice than that. “There are people who are the "seekers", those who look for people to catch them, when the lights go out, people have ten minutes to run and hide without being able to leave the place, and when those ten minutes are over…”
A loud noise that made the whole building rumble was heard loud and clear. Changkyun smiled and looked at me. “It is time to play.”
The boy reached inside his jacket and looked at me before taking the goatee. “Don't leave here until I come back for you. Don't open the door for anyone, understand?”
My nod did not reach his eyes for he had already left the room and locked it again before closing the door behind him. I turned around to look around, finding a couch that looked warm, a rug in the middle of the room, and a mini-bar. I didn't want to wonder what the room was for because there were other strange surfaces.
I sighed as I sat on the couch with the candle in my hand. The idiot was into this kind of game, but I still didn't understand enough, what did he mean when he said it was time to play? The idea that this was a deadly game haunted me, but it couldn't be that murky. I unconsciously denied it by huddling more in my place. A few screams were heard outside the room, causing me to shiver. Good Lord, what was all that about?
I couldn't just stand here, what if I'd just been set up? Yes! That had to be it.
I approached the door slowly, removing the latch and preparing to leave when I felt the door open from the outside. It was Changkyun rushing in, panting without facing me. I looked at his back with curiosity, without blowing out the candle, he turned to see me. I could see the drops of what appeared to be blood on his shirt and face.
My body froze.
"Run"
My movements went faster than I thought trying to go around him to escape through the door that was still open, however a gust of wind hit my face when I noticed the door closing with twice the speed I was going. I closed my eyes in fear and lowered my head. Was I really going to die now?
“Raise your head, we must get out of here," he said, puzzling me.
“Aren’t you gonna kill me?” I asked, but he didn't answer. He walked past me and opened the only window in the room wide, tore the spring and squatted on the frame. And out of nowhere, I lost sight of him.
I screamed as I saw him fall. Rushing to the frame, I saw him standing in the grass on that side of the place. I wondered how come we were on the second floor if, in my memory, I hadn't walked up the stairs.
“Jump!” He shouted from below, showing his arms in front of him.
“You're crazy!” I shouted in annoyance looking behind me. There was no way he could make me jump.
“They're going to kill you. Come here.”
“How do I know you won't kill me?” I asked, scared, my throat tightening. I looked at the free fall I would have and felt the air get stuck in my chest.
”We'll go home, I promise, I'll tell you everything, but please come with me," he begged, and it was the first time I'd seen him this worried. He always used to look relaxed and without any worry in him, but the reality just now was different.
My shoulders fell in place. I would die anyway. The screams kept coming from the door, when it suddenly opened. The latch had never been set and now it was just me and death. I looked over my shoulder, noticing a figure approaching.
“Please!" was the last thing I heard before I fell freely through the door frame.
And everything went black.
A severe headache was constantly poking at my head. The back of my eyes hurt, as if I had been looking at the artificial light for a long time. I was cold and somehow I could think it was midnight. Hearing noise in the distance, I sat down where I had been lying. It was my living room, but there was someone else. My heartbeat quickly started to increase when I remembered a little of what had happened.
“You woke up. Here, I made you some tea, but I'm not good at anything that has to do with cooking so I don't think it tastes like anything," said the idiot, suddenly appearing with a half smile, rubbing the back of his neck in discomfort.
I tasted it and indeed, it tasted like nothing but bitter water, but I didn't tell him. I just took a deep breath and looked at it. He was looking at me so intently that I almost forgot what had happened. The stains on his shirt gave him away and he wasn't wearing his jacket.
“What happened," I asked, holding the cup in both hands so that he could give me some warmth. Changkyun sighed and sat down beside me. “You fainted, I think from the fright and the mixed emotions. I had no car, so I went through your pockets and found your keys and brought us home.”
Listening at his statement, I took a look outside my house seeing the car perfectly parked in the driveway. “Did you put your hands in my pants?” I asked with a scowl.
The boy instantly raised his hands in fright. “No, the keys were in your sweatshirt," he said, clearing his throat after that. “I'm sorry you were there, you really can't go back…”
“I want to know everything about that place, though…” Changkyun looked at me with doubt, and I put the cup down on the small coffee table. “You said you would explain everything if I threw myself out of the window, and here we are so start talking.”
“Well,” he was a bit quiet after that, as if trying to find the right words. “every Saturday there's a massive party at that place. Everyone knows about that party because of its high class alcohol and good vibes, but everything has its price. When it's eleven o'clock, the lights go out and people have to hide, of course, the ones who know what the game is about, the ones who don't, just run around senselessly. You have ten minutes to hide wherever you want in the house and when those ten minutes are up, the seekers come out to have some fun. What we call, "the wolf." Have you ever heard the nursery rhyme of, "We'll play in the forest while the wolf is away? Well, that's what it's about. They go out at ten past eleven to kill anyone they can get their hands on, lights out. When another ten minutes go by, the lights come back on and the party's over.”
My surprised face seemed to alarm him as he got nervous and looked down. “Once you enter the red house parties, you can't stop attending, because after that day, they know all about you and will do his best to see you die. The red house is a secret, no one should tell the police, and there has to be a winner. One that's left alive among all of us…”
“Then you and Jooheon…”
“Yes, he and I went into those parties three years ago, but after the first one we were as scared as anyone else. We left intact and tried to just forget about it and move on with our lives, but the seekers were smarter. They started sending us letters threatening to come back or kill anyone we came in contact with. We tried to move but nothing worked, so... We had no choice but to play the game.”
“But why are you the one who's full of blood? I could bet you're carrying a knife in your jacket right now.” I accused him, staring at his stained shirt.
“I'm carrying a knife because we've formed a clan. We're seven people from different places and ages who are willing to kill the seekers to end this nonsense, but... They have lots of henchmen, too, and every Saturday it seems to get harder.”
I looked at the clock on the wall in front of us striking twelve in the morning. I felt somehow agitated and helpless. “Jooheon’s little brother told me that you were beginning to be interested in going to the parties, but he never let you because we knew what you would be exposed to. He is an ally, not a member of the clan, but because of Jooheon he ended up in trouble. You were really warned, you have to run away, or dig a hole and stay there…’
‘What if I fight with you?’ I said but I felt I should have kept quiet. His gaze became darker as his breathing became heavier.
“I would never let you expose yourself to that, you are crazy.” His tone was so authoritative that I did not know whether I wanted to challenge him or obey his order.
“Listen, you said that somehow the seekers know who you are. Before I jumped out the window a man saw me, they know who I am already... I might as well die so let me fight for my life.”
“I can't let those bastards hurt you.”  his voice seemed to get deeper as time went by. “I won't let them touch a single strand of your hair.”.
His attitude took me by surprise. “Changkyun…” I tried to negotiate with him, come to an agreement.
My voice was interrupted as I was whipped on my back, with both of his hands around my wrists pinching any possible movement. I had him so close, God. He smelled of pure masculinity... of heavy, dark perfume mixed with sweat. I inhaled without wanting to look too harassing, but it was impossible to go unnoticed by the boy's eyes, who smiled so charmingly.
“You are not going to die... Not tonight, not ever," he whispered close to my lips. I stuck out my tongue as a reflection and that drew the boy's gaze upon me. His eyes connected with mine, directing them a few milliseconds to my lips and back to my eyes, as if to say let me kiss you.
I inhaled hard again filling my lungs with his scent, starting to feel the weight of his lips on mine. I closed my eyes on contact and I could swear I had tasted an aphrodisiac. The texture was so similar to silk but the depth with which he took me was so mesmerizing that my brain threatened to fade again. I opened my eyes, noticing her eyelashes lying so thinly on his cheeks, which were slightly flushed. His black bangs tickled my eyebrows because of the closeness. Slowly he let go of my wrists, giving me way to touching his shoulders and running my arms around his neck, as I felt his muscles contracting. One of his hands went down to my waist in circles, while the other remained steady on my cheek, not letting its weight fall entirely.
His back muscles tensed and relaxed as my tongue gently traced his lower lip, seeking to deepen the kiss. Changkyun gladly agreed to begin a delightful dance, each taking his time to delve into the other's body. Changkyun pressed his body against mine, causing me to gasp, which separated me from the kiss, causing us to open our eyes to see each other. His lips were tinged with a light and beautiful red, while I happened to notice a glint above his left eye. I reached out with one hand to clear his bangs and found a striking detail on eyebrow. A captivating perching that lit a flame inside me.
I brought him back to my lips and we enjoyed each other's company all night long. Maybe this game thing could be a reason to see each other more often.
I woke up in my room, in a horrible heat. My neck and back were sweating, which made me instantly sick. It was 7:00 in the morning and it was already so damn hot. I took a shower and went into the living room to find Changkyun's body lying on the couch. His jacket was on one of the kitchen chairs, so I went over to check it out. I reached into the first pocket, instantly pulling out the knife I knew he was carrying. It was partially covered in blood. Feeling an electric shock down my spine, I couldn't help but sigh deeply. At any rate, Changkyun was the good guy, right?
I found his cell phone, but I felt his stare on the side of my head. I turned around to see that Changkyun had woken up but not only that, he was looking directly at me.
“Are you looking for something that proves the opposite of what I showed you yesterday?”
“I am.” I said, nodding.
“Damn it, I thought everything was all right," he said in a hoarse voice, snatching his cell phone from me.
I frowned and shrugged. “You always have to be careful.”
That seemed to insult him as he looked at me skeptically. Not giving a second glance at him, I headed to the kitchen for a glass of orange juice. The boy quickly went to the refrigerator to pour himself the same drink. I noticed the smell of last night with more intensity and turned around to see it. He wasn't wearing a shirt.
The liquid froze in my throat making me feel the sudden acidity, causing my body to cough slightly. The image that I had in my kitchen was worthy of admiration but I simply could not stand it at seven in the morning. Changkyun laughed and tapped my back.
“I'm sorry to surprise you, it's just that it's hot," he said as if it were the most normal thing to do. My eyes rolled back in their narcissism and I headed for my living room.
“Don't you want to take a shower?”
The boy moved his eyebrows suggestively. “Do you want to see me all wet and naked?”
My face turned a deep red and I had to refrain from throwing the remaining juice in the glass. “At your house, you idiot.”
“Yes, try to fix your horniness.” He said, taking his clothes. “I'll be back in a minute, princess.”
I fake gagged at the pet name and rolled my eyes. He put his shirt back on and left my house giving me time to breathe. God, couldn't I be in the same place as him for one more minute without thinking about indecent things?
After a few minutes of searching for something to watch on netflix, I settled down on my couch when the doorbell rang.
“It's still open.” I yelled because I assumed it was Kyun, but no one came in. Strange. I got up from my place opening the door, finding Jooheon’s brother.
“Can I come in?" he asked hesitantly. I looked at him in surprise, and without saying anything to him, I moved away from the door to let him in. “I only came to apologize for having lied to you about not knowing anything. I also came to see if you were all right.” His look never connected with mine, which bothered me to some extent. I crossed my arms and looked at him.
“I don't understand why you did it, but I guess it doesn't matter now, it just matters to get out of that silly game.”
“Did Changkyun explain everything to you?” I nodded and cleared my throat.
“Yes, he brought me home.”
He played with his hands and reached into his jacket bag. Taking out a small envelope, he gave it to me. “Don't trust anyone.” He whispered before he left, making me scoff. Yeah right, look who says that.
Once the boy left my house, I took the envelope in both hands and sighed. There was no sign of Changkyun returning from his home, so I tore the white envelope and found a half-wrinkled note with somewhat illegible handwriting, but which clearly said, "Welcome to the game.” with my name in the bottom right corner. There was an extra note that made my heart start beating fast. I was beginning to think that my best friend, if I could still call him that, had more ideas about the game than others might have. I shook my head and sighed, I couldn't do that to Changkyun and Jooheon, they had somehow kept an eye on me all this time.
The doorbell of my house rang, making me shudder, to quickly put the letter in the first drawer I saw. I took three deep breaths and then approached the door. I opened it to find the boy with a purple hoodie and a gray pantsuit. I smiled at him as calmly as possible and invited him in.
Saturday again. I had contacted my best friend several times after that letter. He assured me that he did not know absolutely about its contents but I knew that he was lying to me. Now he would take me to the building, winning over Changkyun whom I had to refuse the offer.
Speaking of Changkyun, we had both had meetings at the other's house, more casual than I would have thought. He rarely went over the line and always used to make the times much more comfortable. We had not reached the stage where we had gone to bed for any purpose other than sleep, and somehow he felt that he was waiting for something.
At ten o'clock, the car parked in front of my house. I was just about to leave when I noticed my best friend coming into my house at a fast pace with a box in his hands. He scanned my body, noticing my red satin dress and my silver heels. He smiled and took my hand.
“I think I have something for you," he said, pulling out a black dress that was supposed to be attached to my body, halfway up my thigh and angel wings of the same color. I looked at him skeptically and he laughed. “Come on, it's part of the deal if you want to come to the party after all, and I know Changkyun will not resist you with this on.”
I took the garment in my hands and took a big breath of air. Would he really?
I didn't think about it anymore. Going to my room and putting on my clothes. A chill ran down my back but I did not let the feeling of fear win over me, just taking a couple of deep breaths before returning to the room where my friend was sitting on the couch with his cell phone in his hands. When he saw me, he smiled broadly and took my hand to walk on my feet. “Damn, you look beautiful. Let’s go now, there’s a boy you must conquer tonight.”
That night I felt that I was about to make the biggest mistake of my life but at the same time I thought… Do I really have to do this to come out alive? Could the game end after all?
We entered the building. The walls were moving at the sound of the song playing currently...
My breath got stuck in my throat when I located the boy I was there for. Changkyun saw me with such a penetrating and seductive look. He was wearing leather jeans alongside a short-sleeved satin shirt with different colored patterns, purple, blue, yellow and red. There was a chain on his pants and from his neck fell a necklace of what appeared to be a gold chain. His hair was disheveled, although it had a specific direction and that was his right, raised slightly upwards allowing me to see his forehead and his piercing to perfection. As we connected glances, he smiled openly at me. My throat closed for a moment, leaving me breathless, but I managed to look normal to his scrutinizing gaze.
Apologize, never apologize
You hate the way I lie
So here you go, I'm being honest
“Hey, are you a fallen angel?" he asked, touching his fingertips to the wings tied behind my back. I smiled and denied that question.
“No, I only came to find a demon with which to play tricks in this destroyed world." I said, approaching him tentatively. At my boldness, I noticed how his gaze darkened a little.
“Then it's your lucky day, because I'll be the one to deny you entry to heaven, honey.”
Narcissist, come on, give us a kiss
Let's have some fun with it
It's kinda sweet...
Both of us, with the look of some children with a new toy, starting to head for the same place. It was still early, so the seekers and his henchmen didn't worry us at all. Once inside the room we had been in a week ago, Changkyun locked the door, his back at me. At the sight of his legs inside those leather pants, I couldn’t help but bite my lower lip. Thoughts of impurity began to tingle in my mind, causing my temperature to rise constantly.
Once the boy began to approach me, I felt that I still had a way out and that everything could change at any moment. That I still had time to take it back. But then he planted his lips on mine and all I could think about was "Shit."
The situation was getting deeper and more exciting. It tasted bitter, as if it had tasted blood itself before it kissed me. The slight taste of alcohol flooded my taste buds as his tongue investigated my palate. Our tongues brushed against each other, sending shivers down my spine. Jesus.
His scent was beginning to make me dizzy. Too manly and addictive, it made me want more, like nicotine straight into my bloodstream. I gasped for air, which the boy agreed to do by separating himself from me. In less time than I thought, my back was on the couch in the room, my eyes looking directly into his irises that I could hardly discern from the lack of light, since the only light there was the red LED light that was all over the building. His skin was slightly pinkish. His touch traced my figure in an exquisite manner, making me feel a warm path where he posed his fingertips.
Four in the morning, you're changing the locks
How could you do this to me?
I placed my hands around his neck and brought my lips close to his, nibbling on the soft, tender skin. His moles covered some extremities of his body provoking me to mark each and every one with marks that could become darker for the next morning. He was mine. Changkyun was mine for the night.
I only love you when you don't love me
Oh, baby, so, why do you love me?
His hands pulled the wings off my back in a slow and torturous manner causing the air to get stuck in my lungs with no escape. His lips went to my collarbones making me separate from him. His tongue began to trace the exposed skin smiling on the way. With his hands, he slipped the straps over my shoulders to drag the dress to my lower body. That's when I leaned on the bed with my feet pushing my hips up so he could finish pulling the garment out.
He smiled at the sight and stood on his knees on either side of my waist to remove his shirt. Every button he undoes means one more step towards one of my deepest fantasies. His torso was exposed, with only his chain resting lazily on his torso. His marked abdomen prompted me to run my tongue over it to taste his sweet flesh and be ecstatic about the ragweed.
I sat up on my elbows looking at the belt that clung to his pants, asking permission with my eyes to help him with that task. Changkyun took the hint and laid down beside me, letting out a gasp. I smiled as it dawned on me that we were at the edge of the cliff, but if it was with him, I would give it my all.
I sat on his lap, feeling his bulge against my core. I gasped at the sensation and made my way to unbuckle the black belt with the silver buckle. I removed the garment in two moves and now, I needed to unbutton his pants. I ran my tongue over my lower lip, directing my hands at a slow speed to tempt his patience, which did not seem to last long. The boy raised his hip to me, grunting underneath.
“What's the matter, kitty, do you want me to help you with your torturous pain?" I asked in a voice that was as if in velvet as I squeezed the right places to make him delirious. “Learn how to beg, darling.”
My index finger began to sway over the boy's covered member, which drove him crazy. He looked at me with his lust filled eyes. “Do it. Please.”
He mumbled that last word, more against his will. With a smile, I removed the button from his leather jeans, dragging the cloth down his thighs. Then I stared at his underwear with a hungry look. The boy noticed my glance and with one movement I was at his mercy again under his body.
“Well played, angel, but in this game you must learn who is in charge," his voice so damned hoarse made my body eager with the sound. The boy took off my bra with one hand, looking agitated. My head dropped back quickly at the sensations. My center began to vibrate with the music in the background.
Without being able to wait a second longer, he removed my underwear by tapping the middle finger of his left hand on my bundle of nerves.
“God..." I hissed at the feeling of that digit, groping on forbidden ground.
The boy smiled as he took off his only remaining cloth, positioning himself on me. We looked at each other for a minute. A long minute, where I could read his eyes. Pure, raw lust.
His member was slowly and pleasantly buried inside me. My hip was raised by the reflection, making me take a big breath of air. I was not a virgin but, it had been so long and the sensation was new and delirious.
“Welcome to hell, little angel," he whispered as he began his deep pounds on me. My face broke into pure moaning and unexplained sounds as I enjoyed the sensation produced by her touch.
The moment reached its peak, approaching with a great electric shock that ran from the tips of my feet to the surface of my head. We both came in unison, creating an exquisite harmony to the contrast of his deep voice and mine. Our gasping and gasping breaths spoke for themselves. Our glances spoke what our mouths couldn't. The connection we created in that instant was so strong and powerful that I thought it would fade. The red light around us fell in a minute, leaving us in darkness. The smell of liquor and sex surrounded us without shame.
In the face of that darkness. The boy came out of me causing one last tremor. And that was the sign. I crawled to my clothes strewn over the arms of the sofa, pulling a knife from the wings of my costume.
I'm fucking crazy, you're fucking crazy, we're all fucking crazy;
I held my breath for a minute.
And then, exhaled hard.
I couldn't see anything at all, and that made everything strangely interesting. I gasped away, crawling to the edge of the sofa where the light was slightly off. And then I saw him.
I noticed how his skin glowed with sweat and his eyes darkened. The light coming in from the window helped me to identify his eyes. His torso was still naked but the bottom was on the dark side of the sofa.
“Pity angel, you decided to be seduced by the ideas of living in a world of lies.”
I drew my knife dangerously close to his naked abdomen. His breathing became faster and his heart began to beat erratically. The metal device I held in my hands began to trace his chest slowly, delineating his skin, his outline. The boy looked at me, some kind of mix between horror and pleasure on his features. Happy in how the game had turned out, I took his jaw with my free hand looking directly at him. A smile spread across my face and I instantly noticed the boy's eyes opening wide, looking up at me, like begging for mercy.
I began to apply more pressure on his chest by opening a slight cut. The air got stuck in my throat, forcing me to continue.
“Only then will we set you free. Kill the leader of the snake clan. Kill Changkyun. It's an easy job, don't you think?"
I closed my eyes trying to make the seekers boss' voice disappear from my ears. My jaw clenched tightly as I struggled with my subconscious about the real right decision.
“Please...” his voice came out in a thread of voice as I felt the burning in his chest, but maybe not because of the physical wound but because of the wound in his heart.
“Oh no," I said with a smile, denying in the process. “No. Your glory days are over, kitty.” I took the impulse, and then, to add more drama to the matter, I asked. “Your last words, Changkyun?
Great was my surprise to see him looking much darker than ever before. With a confused look on my part, I heard him say. “Do you know what they say at the end of every game?”
I jumped up and down as I felt his hand grab my wrist. He dropped me on the arm of the sofa using my own hand, now in the opposite direction, showing the edge to me. With a serious and firm look, he approached my ear whispering the words that were about to dictate my death.
“I knew you wouldn’t be brave enough. It’s time to say game over… (Y/N)”
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idreamofplaid · 4 years ago
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All is Calm
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Square Filled: Impala for @spngenrebingo & Huddle for Warmth for @spnchristmasbingo
Characters: Dean x Reader; Sam mostly mentioned
Word Count: 2445
Summary: Dean been distracted by hunting lately, but he’s fully focused now. Everything is clear to him.
Created for @spngenrebingo & @spnchristmasbingo
Dean was usually so good about keeping Baby maintained and in top condition. Her oil was always changed hundreds of miles before it needed to be, the air pressure and tread on her tires was checked on practically a weekly basis along with her fluid levels. Some people might say he was obsessive about his car. You’d come to understand she was more than just a car to him, and the way he cared for her was the way he cared for anything and anyone that mattered to him.
It was one of the many admirable qualities about Dean. You had noticed this softer side of his in so many small ways since you’d met him. Along with that softness, he possessed a driven determination. That determination pushed him to keep hunting the next monster, save the next person, do what he could to make the world better. That was why Baby hadn’t been receiving her usual amount of attention lately, too many monsters in the world. That was also the reason the two of you were stuck in the middle of nowhere Montana right now. Baby had a dead battery.
That was bad enough, but it was the week before Christmas, and in Montana that meant full fledged winter. Walking out of here wasn’t an option. The last town you’d passed through was thirty miles back, and new snow was beginning to fall. Even worse, the cell signal out here was so weak Dean had barely gotten to say ten words to Sam before the line went dead. He reassured you that was enough for his tech geek brother to turn on the GPS and find you. You just had to wait it out. 
Fortunately, Baby’s trunk contained not only every weapon known to humankind but also sleeping bags and blankets in the compartment beneath those weapons. Dean fetched those and covered the backseat with a sleeping bag, leaving the other covers in a pile for now, then he motioned for you to get inside with a lopsided smile, “We’re going to have to make the best of it until Sam gets here.”
Sam didn’t drive the way Dean did, but he could be fast enough when the situation called for it. Still, it would take hours for him to get here. That was a long time with the temperature dropping the way it was. You tried to sound more sure that the two of you would make it through this okay than you felt. “What are we going to do exactly?” The uncertainty was in your voice in spite of your best efforts, and you knew Dean could hear it based on his reaction. He went into joking and downplaying the situation mode.
“We’re gonna get under those blankets and sing Christmas carols. I have a fabulous voice.” He held the car door open and swept his arm gallantly toward the interior and the back seat. You climbed in and Dean followed, closing the door behind him.
It wasn’t the first time you’d been in Baby’s backseat by any means, but it was the first time you had been here with Dean. You knew it wasn’t the first time Dean had been back here either; the difference was he wasn’t a passenger when he was in the backseat of this car. Better not to think about that right now. You were in danger of freezing to death; you could think about your crush and deal with your jealousy tomorrow after you survived.
Dean reached around you, grabbed the other sleeping bag, and settled it around the two of you; then he did the same with a blanket. His final move was to put his arms around you and draw you in close to him. He rested his chin on top of your head and dropped the bravado. “I’m gonna keep you warm, Y/N. It’ll be okay.”
His body was warm, but as the last of the heat disappeared from the inside of the car, you could feel the cold gathering around the little cocoon Dean had made. You weren’t going to let yourself be scared. You were with Dean, and he would take care of you. You tried to snuggle closer to him, but you were already about as close as you could get. So, you tried to distract yourself. “What about those Christmas songs, Dean?”
He rubbed his hand along your back to create more warmth. “I kinda exaggerated that a little. I can’t sing at all.” You put your head on his shoulder and sighed, only it wasn’t the contented kind; it was much more the “I can make it through this” kind of sigh. Dean tried to redirect your thoughts with a different approach. “I can tell stories though.”
“Really?” You didn’t lift your head from his shoulder and slipped your hand beneath his jacket. Dean took it for what it was, a gesture to keep warm, but it was more than that to you. It comforted you to feel him closer. “Tell me one. Tell me a Christmas story.”
“Well...um...I don’t really have too many Christmas memories, but I’ll tell you what I’d like to do.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I felt your hand slide across my stomach and come to a stop on my ribs. Under different circumstances, it wouldn’t be long before I’d be kissing you. It’d be the kind of kiss that was hot and previewed what else I was about to do to you. We weren’t in those kind of circumstances. I should have gotten you in the back of this car before now and made out with you the way I couldn’t stop thinking about. I should have done a lot of things, but now here we are. You want to hear a Christmas story, so I’m going to tell you what I should have done about Christmas. 
“When we get back to the bunker…” That’s it. Keep the focus on we are going to get out of here. “I’m going to get a tree, and we’re going to find some ornaments. I bet the Men of Letters stashed some somewhere in that place. Or, we’ll buy some. But we’re going to decorate that thing. You, me, and Sam. It’ll be a big one too. You can decide where we put it. Where do you think the tree should go?”
You shifted against me. You still felt warm enough, but I wish there was a way I could keep you warmer. It’s my fault you’re in this mess. How could I be this stupid? I’ve been taking care of this car since I was a kid. This is probably the biggest fuck up of my life, and there’s plenty to choose from. You answer my question, pulling me out of the downward spiral I’m in.  “I think it should go in the library, so we see it as soon as we come into the bunker. And we spend the most time there. Maybe we could get another tiny one for the kitchen to look at while we eat?”
You love Christmas trees. Why didn’t I ever know that? You love them, and I haven’t gotten you a single fucking one the whole time you’ve been living with us. “Yeah. Sure we can get a little one too. We’ll make strings of popcorn to put on it like they did in those Christmas movies Sam watched when we were kids.” I realized then it was Sam who’d watched the movies and the reindeer cartoons. Sam had wanted Christmas too, and I’d just blocked the whole thing out. Christmas had probably gone up in flames on the ceiling for me the night my mother died. I regret that now.
What else was in those movies Sam used to watch? “We’ll make hot chocolate too, with whipped cream, and stick a candy cane in it. We can wrap presents together. Maybe you could teach me how to wrap them better so they look pretty good?”
Your hand felt so small on me, and your voice was quiet. “Yes, I’ll teach you how to wrap presents. There should be a lot of presents under the tree. You haven’t had many presents, Dean, and you should have. You deserve presents.” Where did that come from? 
“I...I don’t know about that, but you do.”  You were beginning to feel colder to my touch. I needed to do something. “Y/N, let’s lie down, sweetheart.” Hopefully, full body contact would make you warmer. I lay you down on the seat and stretched out next to you so the entire length of my body was against you. I made sure a blanket was pulled up behind you to cover the seat of the Impala because it was probably warmer than the leather. 
You put your cheek on my neck, seeking out the warmth I had to give you. “You okay, Y/N?” You nodded but didn’t answer out loud. I didn’t like the quiet. It was better to keep you talking. “What do you want for Christmas this year? I’ll make sure Santa knows.” 
That made you laugh. “Is Santa real too? Have you been holding out on me?” 
Yeah, I’ve been holding out on you, but not about Santa Claus. “I could get a message to him. What do you want?”
You giggled, and it was a beautiful sound. “I want some Christmas pajamas.” I could picture you in something like that. It was cute and sexy. “Will you get some too? And Sam? We could have matching pajamas. Like a family.” Wait a minute. Did you just put me in the brother category? And why was I worried about that now?
“Sure, sweetheart. I’ll tell Santa to get us all Christmas pajamas.” It’s going to take one hell of a bribe to get Sam to go along with this one. 
Then you surprised me because you asked, “Dean, what do you want?” I had no idea how to answer that question. The things I wanted couldn’t be put inside a box or under a Christmas tree. 
Hell with it. I’m just going to be honest. “I want you and Sam to be happy.” That sounded a little like I was making you a sister which I’m definitely not, so maybe you didn’t brother zone me before. 
You kissed my cheek, and it warmed me inside, making me forget how cold it was on the outside for a few seconds. “I want you to be happy too, Dean.”
It wasn’t the right time or place, but I put my finger under your chin, tilted your face up, and kissed you. It was a soft kiss, a kiss to tell you what I was afraid to say, what I’ve always been afraid to say, afraid to even admit until we’re in a situation like this, until I can’t push it away or distract myself with something that doesn’t matter nearly as much. I love you. But I can’t tell you that now because it might sound like some kind of deathbed confession, and I can’t let you think you’re going to die. You’re not; I won’t let you die. 
One thing my father did that I am very thankful for at this moment was teach me how to survive. I hope you understand what I’m about to do. In this kind of cold, you need body heat. Direct body heat; our clothes are in the way. They’ve got to go. Your eyes are starting to drift closed, and that can’t happen. 
I lift your head up, and you slowly open your eyes. “Hey, Y/N. Stay with me. Okay? Keep your eyes open. Let me see how beautiful they are. Look at me, Y/N.” I put my hands on your cheeks and hold your face steady to keep you focused on me. “I need to get you warmer. My body can do that if I take off my clothes. It’ll be warmer that way. Okay?” You nod at me. My heart is pounding so hard in my chest. I’m scared, but I steady my voice for you. “Then, I’m going to take yours off, so our skin is touching.” You nod again. 
“Alright.” I kiss your forehead then take my jacket off, thinking I can put that on top of you later too. I take the rest of my clothes off and get back under the sleeping bag. I notice the snow is falling heavy outside. I hope Sam can find the car when he gets here. I’m careful when I take your clothes off to keep you under the covers. 
When everything is gone, it’s just you pressed up close against me. I’ve got to keep you awake, keep you talking. “When we get back home, I’m going to take you on a real date. The least I can do is take you to dinner after you got naked with me.” You smile at my stupid joke. That’s good. “We’ll go to Lawrence. I’ll show you where I grew up. There’s this steakhouse there that I can barely remember, but my dad used to take my mom there. They couldn’t afford a babysitter, so I went along. They had these menus for kids you could draw on, and I always got crayons. I colored everything blue. I remember my mom laughed about that.” 
This was too far down memory lane. I was probably boring you. “Do you like steak? We could have seafood instead, or Italian, or something. Anything you want.” 
“I like sweet potatoes. Can you get a sweet potato with your steak?” Crap. I don’t know. You couldn’t thirty years ago, but you couldn’t get sweet potatoes anywhere then. 
“You want sweet potatoes? We’ll go somewhere where they have sweet potatoes.” I kiss the top of your head again. “I’ll take you anywhere you want to go. We can go to a real city if you want. Go somewhere really fancy. Dallas maybe. Do you want to see the lights of the big city?” 
The only answer I got was, “You’re so warm, Dean. You feel so good.” 
I put my hand on the back of your head and held it. “I’m gonna make you say that under different circumstances.” My joke, that wasn’t really a joke, wasn’t working this time.
I wasn’t sure you even heard me, but then you whispered, “Promise?”
“Promise.” A single tear slid down my cheek.
The knock on the window was loud; it made me jump, but you didn’t notice. “Dean! Dean!” I have never been so happy to hear my brother. We’re going home, and you’re going to have those pajamas. 
Everything: @gambitwinchester​ @princessmisery666​ @onethirstyunicorn​ @peridottea91​ @logical-princey​ @emilyshurley​ @beenlovingromansincedayoneish​ @fangirlxwritesx67​ @waywardbaby​ @atc74​ @ledzeppelinsbonzo​ @shaniquacynthia​ @mariekoukie6661​ @tumbler-tidbits​ @67-chevy-baby​ @fandom-princess-forevermore​ @terrarium-jpeg​ @emoryhemsworth​ @crashdevlin​ @heycasbutt​ @jules-1999​ @mrsdeannafuckingwinchester​ @cosicas-cuquis​ @sammyimpala-67​ @queenoftheunderdark​ @dean-winchesters-bacon​ @mrs-meghan-winchester​ @timelordy-fangirl2​ @sweetness47​ @hobby27​ @awesomesusiebstuff​ @kickingitwithkirk​ @neveratease​ @becs-bunker​ @sandlee44​ @supernaturalgrandma​ @lonewolf471​ @sea040561​ @dawnie1988​ @maddiepants​ @volleyballer519​ @outcastedangel​ @kdfrqqg​ @lizette50​ @daisymoder72​ @sorenmarie87​ @oldfreakything​ @winchesterxfamilybusiness​ @deansotherotherblog​
Dean/Jensen: @deansyahtzee​ @flamencodiva​ @deanwinchesterswitch​ @feelmyroarrrr​ @sammit-janet​ @focusonspn​ @akshi8278​ @ladywinchester1967​ @sgarrett49​ @wingedcatninja​ @coffee-obsessed-writer​ @adoptdontshoppets​ @ellewritesfix05​ 
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tatooedlaura-blog · 4 years ago
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Maybe WE don’t believe in YOU!
It’s throwback Thursday time ... this is a goodie from 2009 (dragged kicking and screaming from Gossamer) ... oi, these things amuse me at times :)
any and all errors are from the original post and have not been changed to preserve giggles and chuckles :)
@today-in-fic​
&&&&&&&&&&
He saw her sitting halfway up the bleachers, amidst yelling parents and clapping children. He knew she'd gone outside a good 15 minutes ago but since she'd neglected to come back, he though he'd better go and collect her. He didn't move fast, more at his usual long-strided amble given there wasn't much to hurry about anymore. Since the police station was next to the elementary school fields, he didn't have far to walk; soon standing beside the rickety aluminum riser seats.
She didn’t notice him at first but when she did a general sweep of her surroundings, as was natural habit at this point, she lit on his face staring up at her and with a barely noticed head-tilt, she gave him a half smile.
Figuring this was an invite of the most discreet kind, he picked his way through the scattered crowd, settling next to her without a word. Silently, they sat together through the last minutes of the game as well as through the exodus of people, kids, strollers and family dogs.
It wasn't until the last person stepped off the field that Mulder turned to her, squinting against the late afternoon sun, "hi."
Pushing her hair back, only to have the light breeze ruffle it again, "hi."
"So, got a little tired of Sheriff Blowhard and his parade of blightless minions?"
"A little. There's only so much blowharding and blightlessness one can take. Besides,” nodding towards the now deserted field, "they looked like they needed another fan."
Knocking shoulders with her gently, "you know, if we get our paperwork done, we can get the hell out of Dodge."
Holding silent for a moment, "promise me our next case won't be like this. I don't think I can do this again anytime soon."
"Well, I'll try to order us up a nice, juicy monster but don't hold your breath."
"Just promise to try. That's all I ask."
One glance into her tired, dull eyes made him nod, "promise."
"All right then." Standing and holding her hand out to him, "let's, as you put it, get the hell out of Dodge."
"If only the place was actually called Dodge."
"Getting the hell out of Parson Village doesn't exactly have the same ring to it, does it?"
Finally down on the ground, they walked back across the parking lot, "not really."
&&&&&&&&&
Working through the last of the forms, they said good-bye and left, glad to be leaving the place behind them. The drive back to the hotel was quiet but a companionable quiet, one where Mulder left the radio off and Scully stared out the open window, enjoying the fresh air and the colors of the setting sun.
Back at the hotel, "do you still want to leave now or wait until the morning?"
He knew she would prefer to go than stay and since he wasn't tired, "now works for me." Checking out went by in a flash and once Mulder had made a not so secretive trip to the vending machines, they were off, "you sure you want to drive first? I'm awake."
Scully just turned the car on, "I'm good for now. I'll let you know when it's your turn."
"Fair enough." Putting his seat back to a decent incline, he settled in, "mind if we keep the windows open for awhile?"
She gave him a smile, "as long as you don't mind me having the wind blown look."
"Naw, you wear it well."
"Okay, now you're just buttering me up."
With a laugh, he rested one arm at his side, the other on the middle compartment, hand dangling by the shifter, "just say thanks, Scully."
"Thanks, Mulder."
He was feeling a bit mischievous but held off until they had been on the road for a few minutes. From his position, he could tell no one else was on the quiet country road and in a fairly nonchalant way, he made like he was turning on the radio but instead, pushed the shifter forward into neutral.
The engine revved, Scully looked around in panic, then saw Mulder's hand beside the stick, "what the hell?" Shoving it back in drive, she swung and hit him near full force in the chest, "are you insane?"
Now for the fun part.
Wincing, he curled his arms to his chest, pretending the blow had actually hurt him, "damn. I was just gonna turn the radio on. I bumped it on accident." Plastering an appropriate grimace on his face, "there's less painful ways to kill me, you know."
Her face scrunching in honest apology, "I'm so sorry. I thought you did it on purpose. I … I'm sorry."
Rubbing his chest for good measure, "remind me to ask before moving next time." The urge to laugh nearly won but he held it in, "I feel extremely sorry for any suspects on the receiving end of your fist."
Automatically reaching over, she wrapped her hand around his forearm, "I'm sorry."
"S'okay." Wondering how long she'd keep her hand there, "was kind of funny though, wasn't it?"
She shrugged, "maybe it will be later but right now, I just feel bad."
"No harm, no foul, right?"
Keeping her hand on him with no sign of letting go, "right."
&&&&&&&&&
They switched places a few hours later, Scully beginning to yawn and stretch to keep herself awake. Mulder, who'd managed a nap, readjusted the seat and mirrors before looking over at her, "all set?" Head already lolling on the seat and eyes closed, she only nodded.  As always amused by the swiftness she could fall asleep, he pulled the car out of the gas station and back on the freeway.She slept for about a half-hour, then woke again when he hit a bump in the road, "sorry."
Shaking the cobwebs from her brain, "no, it's okay." After re-positioning the seat back, she stared out the window for a minute before, "where are we, anyway?"
When he turned to look around, she swiftly reached over, flipping a small switch on the dash, "we're about 10 miles from the middle of nowhere."
"That's specific."
He gave her a lopsided grin before looking back through the windshield.
She wondered how long it would take for him to notice.
Not long, she soon discovered.
Taking a cursory glance at the speedometer, he slammed on the brakes, throwing them both forward slightly, "what the hell?" When he had looked, he saw in horror that he was doing 120. Still talking to himself, "there's no way in hell I was doing 120."
Playing along, "what?! You're going 120? I don't need to die tonight, Mulder."
"I didn't realize …"
"Just slow the hell down!!"
He shrank into the seat and heart pounding, he brought his speed back to 75 but when looking out the window, he would swear they were nearly crawling. She then watched him look from the speedometer to the road to the speedometer once again, then to the smile she couldn't contain, "why the hell are all the gauges in metrics now?"
Reaching over, she re-flipped the switch, turning everything back to normal, "did you really think I'd let the neutral thing go unanswered?"
Instead of being annoyed, he looked at her admirably, "nice."
&&&&&&&&&
She was sound asleep again an hour later when Mulder discovered he was contemplating how long he could shut his eyes before it got dangerous. Poking his finger into Scully's thigh, "hey, you awake?"
When she only mumbled, he knew they were both done for the night but with only an hour left to go, he debated pushing it.
Until he heard his tires running on the rumble strip.
Yeah, it was time to stop.
Especially when he saw it … a bright beacon of hope in the distance.
Wal-Mart.
24-hour, anyone can sleep in the damn parking lot, beautiful, shiny Wal-Mart.
He pulled off the exit ramp and soon, he stopped the car in the center of a vast expanse of parking lot. Cracking the windows so they wouldn’t suffocate, he put his seat back, stretched and promptly fell asleep.
A blissful sleep that lasted almost a full two hours, until, “what the hell?”
The sound of her voice jolted him upright and his hand caught the horn, beeping it obnoxiously as he blinked against the painfully bright light in his eyes, “huh?”
By now, she was rolling down the window and being the least polite he’d ever heard her, “what!?”
The flashlight lowered but all Mulder could see was the spot it had burned into his retinas. The spot spoke in a low, male voice, “evenin’ folks.”
Again, Scully rolled off with, “what!?!”
“Just wanted to make sure you were all right.”
He could feel Scully building rapidly towards some other, more improper phrases and heading her off with a hand on her arm, “we were tired and thought we’d take a nap instead of wrapping ourselves around a telephone pole.” As the spot began to fade, he could make out an older gentleman behind the lowered flashlight, “I thought people could park and sleep here for the night?”
“RVs can park but ya’ll aren’t in an RV so I thought maybe you were havin’ some trouble.”
Hearing Scully sigh resignedly through her nose, he spoke again, “no trouble, sir. Just tired.”
“Well, ya’ll be careful.”
As he turned and walked away, Mulder looked at her irate expression, “hi.”
“You’re coming with me.”
“Where?”
Unbuckling her belt, “I have to go to the bathroom and you’re coming with me.”
Opening his door, “why are you pissed at me? I didn’t scare the shit out of you with a flashlight.”
“Just come on.”
She stalked across the parking lot, Mulder trotting to catch up, then settling into an easy gait until they got to the store entrance, “are you gonna make me come in with you or do I get to wait outside the door?”
With eyes narrowed, she left him in the entryway and disappeared into the ladies room. Deciding to go himself, he still beat her back and was leaning on the wall when she came out drying her hands on her jeans. She seemed calmer and leaning next to him, “I’m hungry.”
Gesturing through the doors that led to the actual store, “I bet there’s something in there, if you’re willing to risk it.”
“Lead the way, partner.” Both were shocked by the amount of people in the store, “what time is it anyway?”
Finding her wrist with his hand, he twisted her watch around until he could read it, “um, 1:15.”
“Why are all these people here? Don’t they have homes and beds?”
“Insomniacs make the best shoppers.”
She let a small chuckle escape her nose, “just find me something to eat.”
Well, she should have known not to A) shop when she was hungry and 2) shop with Mulder. She should have also put her foot down when he suggested getting a cart.
An hour later, they were finally through the checkout.
Scully had found some sandwiches, drinks and chips for them both, then stupidly gave Mulder control of the cart. He immediately steered towards the entertainment section and was soon pawing through the $3.99 DVD bin.
That killed a half-hour right there. Damn those bins and their B-movie classics.
After he’d found several handfuls of movies, he veered through men’s clothing for socks, housewares for a new shower curtain (which Scully silently thanked God about), hardware to replace the two flashlights he’d left in their hotel rooms, back to menswear  for the underwear he’d forgot on the first trip (black boxer briefs, much to Scully’s amusement), then finally through women’s clothing, where he stopped in front of a rack of slogan t-shirts.
Standing for a moment, he studied them, then picked one up with an alien beside a spaceship who was pointing out and stating, “maybe WE don’t believe in you.” Holding it against her for a second, he tossed it in the cart and finally moved to the check-out.
She followed, dumbfounded by the last hour of her life, “Mulder … why …?”
“Shhhh, it’s too late to argue and too early to win.”
Whatever the hell that meant, she graciously allowed him to pay for their food, along with the industrial size Payday bar she tossed in at the last minute.
&&&&&&&&&&&
As they ate their makeshift dinner sitting in the car, “why did you buy me that t-shirt? Do you really think I’m gonna wear it?”
Grinning with a mouthful of half-chewed turkey, “you will. You’ll be getting dressed for something and you’ll just get the urge to put it on. So you will and you’ll realize you like it and that’ll be that.”
“Is this how you get your shopping done because I can see why your cupboards are bare.”
“Never ask about a man’s shopping habits.”
“Mulder?”
“Yeah?”
“Trade you sandwiches?”
He handed the rest of his sandwich to her immediately, taking her partially eaten roast beef in its place, “no dressing?”
“Nope.”
“So much to teach you, grasshopper.”
&&&&&&&&&
“I’ll drive if you want me to.”
Scully shook her head, “naw, I’m fine.”
“Well, I’m not tired now so I’ll keep you awake.”
With a grin in his direction, “God help me.”
“God’s probably asleep Scully. All you got is me.”
“Again, God help me.”
&&&&&&&&&&
They were finally navigating Washington’s outskirts by 3:30. He watched her staring ahead and fought the demon lurking inside him.
He really shouldn’t.
He really, really shouldn’t.
It would be evil and wrong and cruel and more than likely funny as all hell … if she didn’t kill him afterwards.
 …
He’d risk it.
Waiting another minute or so, he spied a light blinking in the distance and as they approached it, he braced his feet against the floor. Once they were about 10 feet away, he yelled, gripping the dashboard and the doorframe, “blinking yellow!!!”
She locked up the brakes, as expected, and bought the car to a screeching halt. The stop flung both forward, then back against their seats, with Scully screaming in his ear, “son of a bitch … it’s yellow Mulder! I don’t have to stop for a blinking yellow!”
Looking at her with as much seriousness as he could muster, “I didn’t tell you to stop.”
“Then why the hell did you yell ‘blinking yellow’ in my ear!?”
“I didn’t know if you saw it.”
He had never witnessed her nostrils flaring before and though he wouldn’t admit it out loud, she looked kind of cute doing it but … “are you trying to get us killed?”
He was now smiling despite the fact she had steam shooting out her ears, “there was no one behind us. I checked.”
Another nostril flare came his way before she turned the car off, still sitting in the middle of the intersection, got out and moving to his side of the car, pulled open the door, “drive.”
Still grinning, he scrambled over the gearshift, Scully sliding smoothly into his seat, putting her head back and closing her eyes.
Silence, he had not expected. Yelling, hitting, yes but not quiet. Quiet from Scully meant planning, concocting, calculating, organizing … quiet meant bad things … quiet meant very deep piles of shit with him underneath.
“Scully …”
“Home.”
Suddenly sober, he restarted the car, “I was just playing.”
“Home,” she repeated, then, instead of returning to sleep, she dug some gum from the glove compartment and proceeded to chew a wad of it, very loudly.
Now, he could take bullets, he could take slime, he could take beratement of the highest degree and, as demonstrated, he could even take bile but he absolutely despised the cud-chewing noises she was making. He withstood it for a long as humanly possible before, “could you please get rid of that? You sound like a damn cow.”
“You want me to get rid of the gum?”
“Yes!”
“Where do you want me to put it?”
His mistake was answering too quickly, “anywhere. I don’t care. Just stop chewing it.”
“Okay then.” Undoing her seatbelt, she twisted so she faced him, and in a gracefully disgusting move, she rolled the gum in her fingers, then proceeded to push it up his nose.
He knew something was coming and completely powerless to stop it, he just sat there as a thumb-size chunk of grape Hubba-Bubba was fitted into his right nostril.
She then calmly sat back down and re-buckled herself in.
He left the gum there as he turned to her, “Scully?”
“Yes, Mulder.”
“I believe we’re even now.”
Her belly laugh echoed off the windows and he began laughing as well, slipping the gum from his nose and putting it in his mouth.
Through her laughter, she grimaced, “eww, that’s disgusting.”
“But it’s grape.”
&&&&&&&&&
They finally made it to Mulder’s apartment and since her brain had drifted completely, she didn’t really notice where they were until he stopped the car, “why are we here?”
“Literally or existentially because I don’t think I can take a metaphysical discussion at the moment?”
“Literal.”
“You drove. You drop me off then drive yourself home.”
“Where’s your car, Mulder?”
Pointing to where he always parked, he saw an empty spot, “your house.” His head dropped to the steering wheel, “damn.” Looking at her out of the corner of his eye, “I’ll take you home.”
“No. I want out of the damn car and I want to go to sleep. Right now.”
“Then grab the bags from the store … I’ll get the suitcases.” They managed to make it in his door before dropping everything simultaneously. Mulder then re-picked up her bag and set it in his bedroom, “I’ll take the couch.”
“No, I will. I shoved gum up your nose.”
“And I yelled ‘blinking yellow’.”
Contemplating for a half second, “you’re right.”
He gave her a grin, “just help me change the sheets first.” Nodding, she had the bed stripped by the time he came back with a clean set. They finished in no time and he stepped back, nodding his head, “two people make that way faster.”
“Anytime Mulder but for now, I’m using your bathroom then going to bed.”
“Aye, aye captain.”
Meeting him in the hall on the way back from the bathroom, “g’night, Mulder.”
“’Morning, Scully.”
Before going to the bedroom, she grabbed one last thing, then changed, crawled under the clean sheets and was out before her head hit the pillow.
&&&&&&&&&&
He woke up leisurely. The phone hadn’t rung, no one had knocked on his door, obnoxious garbage men hadn’t rattled the dumpsters … he had woken up because he had finally caught up on his sleep. Marveling at the idea, he stood and moved silently towards his bedroom to check to see if she was awake yet.
Finding her spread eagle on her stomach, covers twisted around her and bare leg sticking out, foot hanging off the side of the bed, he nearly laughed when he saw her wearing the neon green t-shirt he’d bought the night before.
Deciding to let her sleep, he went to the bathroom, then made himself a bowl of cereal. By the time he’d sat down with his second helping, he heard the creak of his bedroom door. Looking up, he saw her standing there, hair tousled, eyes partially open, wearing only the t-shirt, which fell to mid-thigh. Swallowing the frogs in her throat, “’morning.”
After a glance at the DVD player’s clock, “afternoon.” Without comment, she padded across the cool floor and dropped down next to him, curling her legs underneath her. Covering them with his blanket, she reached over, took the spoon and helped herself to a large spoonful of cereal. Shaking the milk off, she had it nearly to her mouth when he finally spoke, “I thought you said you’d never wear that shirt?”
As the cereal entered her mouth, her lips quivered in the slightest of smiles, “shut up, Mulder.”
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darlingor · 3 years ago
Text
Light it Up | Russell Adler x Fem! Bell
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AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32399656/chapters/80732302#workskin
Chapter 1 
[Y/N] “Bell” [L/N] March, 1981 Berlin Tegel Airport, West Berlin
The trip back to West Berlin was a long one, but thanks to Adler’s snarky comments and playful insults, it wasn’t too boring. Once the two were back at the safehouse, Adler immediately called in a meeting with Hudson and Black, though he kept the fact that Bell was alive a secret. He wanted to see the look on the bastard's faces when she walked in.
As of now, Bell and Adler were boarding a plane back to Langley. Adler being Adler, booked first-class tickets for both of them. Bell insisted on flying coach, she felt bad about him spending so much money on her. Truth be told, he didn’t care about money all that much. With his line of work, he knew he could die at any time. Another reason he didn’t care about spending the money was that it was for Bell. He wouldn’t admit it now, but he would do anything for her.
“I think these are our seats. Put your bag up here Bell.” Adler pointed out the compartment above them, and the pair started to pack their things away. Not too long after they got settled in, the plane took off. Bell watched out of the window as the ground disappeared beneath them. The first-class seating was amazing, and she and Adler had a nice space all to themselves.
Bell couldn’t help but be nervous about what was to come. Walking into the CIA, with thousands of trained agents, when she was supposed to be dead. What if they killed her or Adler? Surely they wouldn’t, they’re a government agency, not a bunch of assassins. Right?
Adler noticed her staring into nothing and fiddling with her hands. He nudged her slightly with his arm. “Penny for your thoughts?” Bell looked towards the man as she let out a sigh. “I’m just nervous I guess. I am supposed to be dead after all. What if they take me into custody, or kick us out of the CIA. I don’t want your life to be ruined because you didn’t listen to some orders.” Adler looked a little shocked at her words.
“Bell, I’m not gonna let them take you away. And if they kick us out, they kick us out. But don’t you think for a second that my life will be ruined. As long as you’re here, I’ll be just fine. Now, why don’t you take a nap? We’ve had a long day.” Bell felt instant relief at his words. It made her feel so good to know that someone truly cared for her. She closed the blinds on the window and fell asleep with a small smile on her face.
Despite how tired he was himself, Adler couldn’t help but stare at her sleeping face. She looked so peaceful like this, and Adler hated knowing just how tormented she was. How she even trusted him after everything he put her through was beyond him.
Eventually, the engines of the plane lulled the agent to sleep, and Adler was happy to finally catch up on all his missed sleep. 11 hours passed by far too quickly, and now the two were groggily grabbing their bags and exiting the plane. Adler already had a car lined up, he just had to go claim the keys.
While Adler headed off towards the little booth, Bell found a coffee shop and decided to order a couple of coffees. Bell and Adler were basic, in that they only liked black coffees.
Bell found her way back to Adler, who was jingling the car keys in a rather giddy way. “What’s gotten into you?” Bell was a little skeptical at the man's newfound energy. “Oh, nothing. Just ready to get out of here.” Adler spoke in a sarcastic tone, and Bell noticed the slight smile on his face.
“Oh here! I got you a coffee.” Adler grabbed the cup and eyed it suspiciously. “Black. Just how you like it.” She watched as his expression turned to one of gratitude, as he took a rather large sip out of the cup.
“That’s good stuff. You know me too well, Bell.” Adler wrapped his arm around the shorter woman’s shoulders and guided her out of the airport. As the two approached the car, Bell discovered the source of Adler's excitement. Parked in front of them was a brand new Chevrolet Camaro in a beautiful red.
000000 CIA headquarters, Langley, McLean, VA
Bell’s nerves only grew the closer they got to the CIA headquarters. Adler, on the other hand, was practically fuming. The more he thought about the situation, the bigger his emotions grew. He couldn’t wait to give Black a swift punch right on his jaw.
“Bell, it’s gonna be alright. I’ll deal with Hudson and Black, you don’t even have to say a word.” Bell thought on his words. She didn’t want to just stand in the background, especially since this whole ordeal was about her. She was better than that. “No. I want to say something. I might not know what that is yet, but it’ll come to me. “That’s my girl.” Bell blushed at that. Right then, Adler pulled into the gates of the CIA and showed his ID to the man working the gate. He found a space towards the front and parked the car.
“Alright Bell, let’s get this show on the road.” They exited the car and approached the front door. Adler stomped out his cigarette before pulling over the large metal door. They got through security rather easily and had no problems concerning Bell. They were just a few minutes early to the meeting, so they had plenty of time to find Black’s secretary. After riding an elevator up a few flights, they now stood in front of the young lady. “Hi ma’am, we’re here for a meeting with Mr. Black. We have an appointment set for 11.” Adler took a quick glance at his watch and noted that it was 10:57.  Bell was a little surprised at his manners. Considering the situation, she figured he would be a lot less friendly.
“Yes sir, he’s expecting you. The meeting room is just down the hall and to the right. Have a good day.” Adler nodded his head and turned to grab Bell. Their shoes clicked on the marble floors as they walked. They stopped just short of the big oak doors. Bell was still nervous, but she noticed that there was something else there. She felt a fire burning inside her.
“You ready for this, kid?” He turned to look at her, and he saw that she was blood red. Oh, this was gonna be good. She slowly turned to look at the man, and she let out a breath she didn’t even know she was holding.
“Ready as I’ll ever be.” Adler smiled at that.
--------------------------------------------------------
Another kinda short chapter. I didn’t write as much as I wanted, but I didn’t want to clutter it up. It’s a nice setup for the next chapter though. Hope y’all enjoy! Leave an ask or comment, I love reading them!
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falseroar · 3 years ago
Text
Treasure Hunt
((Dark goes digging for old memories, with some “help.” Nothing serious and not related to anything, just something short I wrote on my phone while my computer was out of service to keep up with my daily word count goal. I was going to post this yesterday, but, eh...*gestures vaguely at all that nonsense*))
“Are you going to bury a body?”
Dark stopped in his tracks and glanced over his shoulder at Wilford, the movement putting the shovel’s blade on his other shoulder perilously close to his cheek. “No, I am not. Unlike you, I don’t have a ready supply of those to hand.”
“What, you mean Jerry? Eh, he’s fine, he’ll walk it off,” Wilford said with a flippant wave of his hand. While it was true that his latest victim had survived, Dark silently thought he would not be walking off a bullet to the knee anytime soon. “So, what are you doing? Ooh, is it a treasure hunt? I can grab that new guy with the hat, turn it into a real bonding moment between the three of us, and we can let him walk in front in case there are any traps! Fantastic, I’ll go grab him right now!”
“No, Wilford, it’s not a treasure hunt.” Not in the strictest sense of the word, but his tone was at least enough to stop Wilford before he could go running off. “I’m just...It’s past time I checked on something. Don’t worry about it.”
“Why would I worry?” Wilford asked, falling into step behind Dark. He tapped his fingers against his mustache and remarked, “Not really sure I can remember the last time I worried about anything. Everything always just sort of works itself out in the end, you know?”
“I know,” Dark said, while he thought, “I know you think that’s how it works.”
But he just said, “I’ll be back later tonight.”
With that, Dark stepped out of the front door of the house and disappeared into the shadow that surrounded him, an ear-piercing ring growing and then immediately stopping the moment the shadow faded from sight. Wilford blinked and then shrugged, muttering to himself about making his own treasure hunt.
When Dark stepped out of the shadows, it was to find himself standing in the bright light of an early summer day, the sun adding some of the color back to his faded skin as he studied the remains of the manor in front of him for a moment.
He had no intention of going inside, of course, not today. No, his path took him around the perimeter of the overgrown yard, past hedges that had extended out to do battle with the lemon grass and the flowers that had escaped their beds in a bid to spread far and wide, the unmanaged plants all doing battle to gain supremacy over the neglected lawns. He had to pause multiple times and study the distance from the house, comparing the windows to the tree lines and the cracked and faded giant chessboard until he finally found the statue, its surface stained and worn until the face was practically a blank slate, one of its spread wings broken at the tip.
It looked smaller than he remembered too, but then a lot of things did.
Dark circled the statue once, taking in what time and weather had done to it, before he turned his back on it and began counting under his breath in time with each step.
“9...10.”
Dark stopped at a patch of grass and weeds no different than any other in the immediate area and raised the shovel he had borrowed from the shed the Author once used so regularly.
“You’re standing in the wrong spot.”
Dark stumbled, his attempt to stop the shovel mid-swing causing him to lose his balance. He swore under his breath and glared at Mark, wondering when he got here. “What would you know about it?”
“Only that a kid’s step doesn’t go as far as an adult’s.” Mark, dressed in shorts and a t-shirt that better matched the weather than Dark’s ever present suit, strolled over to the statue and stopped at the same place Dark started his counting to look up at its face. “Hello, baby.”
“I thought you hated statues.”
“Oh, I do. If that thing goes weeping angel on us, I will absolutely leave you here to die.” Mark grinned. “I didn’t think you’d remember, but considering where you’re standing, I guess you didn’t. Watch this, each step was more like...”
Mark looked down, carefully counting out each step that he shortened to the point that when he reached 10, he was barely halfway to where Dark stood. “See what I mean?”
“What I see is someone who doesn’t remember insisting on taking giant steps,” Dark said, resting the blade of the shovel against the ground as he leaned on the handle. “You practically skipped from there to here.”
“I have never skipped! And I can prove it, because unlike someone, I actually came prepared. Tactical shovel, which is clearly superior to a regular shovel—“
“Putting a knife on it doesn’t make everything better.”
“Says you. And a metal detector,” Mark continued, showing off both instruments that he’d been carrying. “Watch and learn.”
Mark flipped the switch on the detector and paused, before flipping it again when there was no response.
“Did you actually put batteries in it?”
“Of course I put batteries in it!” Mark glared at Dark’s smirk and opened the battery compartment. There was just a brief pause before he continued, “Give me a minute.”
By the time Mark came back with a working metal detector, Dark had already removed his jacket and hung it on one of the angel’s outstretched arms, his shirtsleeves rolled up to his elbows as he dug.
“It’s the wrong place, I’m telling you,” Mark warned as he began to run the metal detector over the ground, but Dark ignored him and continued to dig.
Mark started at the statue and began to walk out, the crackle of the detector leading him past where he stopped and all the way to where Dark stood, a smug smirk on his face as the beeping grew louder and louder until it reached the hole he had already started.
“Well, are you going to start digging or not?” Dark asked.
Only because the hole wasn’t deep enough to push him into it yet, or at least that was Mark’s irritated thought as he tossed the metal detector aside and picked up his tactical shovel.
They tried to pass the time in silence, but before long it turned to bickering about who was doing more work and if “you spilled dirt on my side of the hole” and if there even was a “my side” when they were digging in the same place, but eventually Mark’s shovel hit metal. Both men looked at each other and then back down again as Mark hit it again with a loud clang that...didn’t actually sound right, now that they thought about it.
Dark knelt, careful not to let his knees actually touch the ground, and brushed the loose dirt away as Mark bent down next to him, both having just enough time to realize the rusted metal was that of a pipe before it broke open, unleashing a brief but sour spray of stagnant water into both of their faces.
After that, they found a different yet suspiciously similar statue on the other side of the yard, and a pink-mustached man waiting for them, standing on the plinth with his arm wrapped around the statue’s shoulder like they were an old friend, beaming when he noticed them.
“Well, there you two are! I was starting to wonder, you know.”
“Wait, you knew where I was going?” Dark asked. “Then why did you pretend not to know?”
“Know what?” Wilford gave the statue a peck on the cheek and leapt down onto the grass beside them. “Well, are you two just going to stand around here, or are we going to open this thing?”
He held out a dirty, banged-up tin case, the rust on its hinges doing more to keep it shut than the cheap lock used all those years ago.
Mark looked down and around, noting the lack of holes or any sign of a shovel or other digging instrument as he asked, “How did you get that?”
Wilford stared at him, mildly puzzled as he asked, “What, like it was hard?”
Mark’s tactical shovel dealt with the lock easily, and also left a gash in the side of the box that earned him a glare from Dark that he tried to ignore as he forced open the box to reveal its contents: a set of envelopes, childish handwriting addressing each to Mark, Damien, and William, a tiny metal soldier that Wilford picked up with a smile along with a few other old-fashioned toys, and a faded photograph that Mark lifted out gently, as though afraid it might fall apart in his hands.
Dark looked over his shoulder at the three boys posed for the camera, laughing with their arms thrown around each other. He felt a stir in his chest, a brief flicker of something that faded into a sad nostalgia.
He wondered if Mark thought the same thing, about how none of those three boys were still here, not really. Not after everything they had gone through, after what they had done and attempted to atone for, whatever that might be worth now. Dark had no illusions about what little Damien might think of him, the dark figure of noise and ringing and strange shadows that followed his every movement. Did Mark feel the same way? And what of Wilford, did he even recognize the three young faces smiling back at them?
Dark glanced at him and found Wilford smiling as he pulled an old compass that, surprisingly, still turned in his hand alongside a crinkly map drawn in what looked suspiciously like crayon. There was a twinkle in Wilford’s eye as he asked, “Do you two know where this leads?”
Mark looked at the map and frowned, while Dark shook his head and admitted, “I don’t recall making a map.”
“Well then, I suppose there’s only one way to find out.”
Wilford jumped to his feet, nearly knocking the time capsule out of Mark’s hands as he pulled the two of them up with him. “Who’s ready for round two of this treasure hunt?”
Mark closed the box and tucked it under his arm, then hefted his shovel with a look at Dark that he actually could understand.
“We did come all the way for this, might as well see what else is here, right?”
Dark sighed, feigning indifference as he said, “Well, I didn’t have anything else planned today...”
“Fantastic!” Wilford grinned and spread out the map so they could look. With any luck, neither of them would notice the crayons stashed in his back pocket, or how the map they were studying didn’t look quite as old as it should have.
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blizzardfluffykpop · 3 years ago
Text
Daisies
Summary: Daisies mean innocence and purity, even in the most dangerous situations the two of you know that your love is pure and everlasting.
Oneshot
Fluff, Mafia AU
Word Count: 1,980
Yugyeom X Reader
[Mentions: Jinyoung]
Based on All Your Fault [but fluffy], references to Heart’s Magic Man.
It is all your fault that I fell for you. The way you looked at me had me falling faster than pouring rain. Maybe I should have listened to my mother, who told me that falling for a mafia man was a bad idea. “But mom, you fell for a mafia man.” She sighs, “And you see what happened?” I scoff over the phone, “But I know he’s different.” “Come on home, baby. I love you. I would never want anything bad to happen to you. Come home before you are into deep.” I roll my eyes and look at the picture frame that holds a photo of my first date with Kim Yugyeom. “I love you, Mom. I am home here. I’ll be okay.”
It’s date night, a biweekly tradition. Yugyeom comes home with a bright smile and picks me up, and spins me around. I laugh, and he sets me down, “Do you know where you wanna go?” I ask him since it’s his turn. He scrunches up his nose, “Maybe an art museum and then to a fancy restaurant?” I smile, and he goes up and changes into a brown bomber jacket with a cream tee shirt. His jeans remain the same as we pull on our shoes. My mom's voice rings in my head again. 'I would never want anything bad to happen to you.' I shake my head knowing I am most protected when I stand next to Yugyeom. We hop into his Lincoln Continental and head off to a museum.
Heart comes on over the radio that’s playing softly, “Come on home, baby. Momma cried on the phone.” Oh, come on now, isn’t this getting a little too coincidental? We hold hands, our masks concealing our identities as we walk around admiring the artwork. As we finish up the tour, I ask him where to next. He asks if going to a bar was okay, instead of the restaurant idea. I shrug, “It’s your choice tonight, after all.” He smiles, and we hop back into his car.
I should have known he had work-related business at the bar. I felt him tense up the second we walked in. I raised a brow but didn’t say a word as he led me over to the stools. Once I sat down, he suddenly spun around, catching sight of whoever he was after. He pulls out his silver gun and fires away. His glare sends shivers down my spine, and when he turns back towards me, his eyes light back up. He snaps his fingers, and his cohorts come out from the bar. Cleaning up his mess before any cops can show up. I ask him softly, “Why did you do that?” He shrugs, “I’ve been tracking him for a while. Finally caught up to him.” I nod, although it's not a reason in my head. But good enough, I guess. He orders us two monster chocolate milkshakes. “Still my Gyeomie.” He laughs, “Always for you, baby.” He kisses my forehead, and I feel my heart melt a little.
--
Yugyeom’s not home that’s weird he’s usually home by now. I shrug and grab my trash bags and take them towards the dumpster. Telling Dalkyum goodbye, “Don’t worry, I will be right back.” I lock the door and make the three-minute trek to the dumpster. When I see someone lying on trash bags outside of the dumpster, I hope they're not dead,... I shake off my nerves and go to throw out my trash. Then, suddenly, I recognize the person lying in the pile of trash. I gasp, dropping the trash bag, the sound ricocheting off the buildings as it hits the pavement. His eyes shoot open, and he reaches for his gun. When he recognizes it’s me, he sighs, and I see the blood covering his face. I get up closer and lay on top of the garbage. “What happened?!” He groans when I notice his stomach is blood red. What if mom was right? Without a second thought, I take off my shirt and rip off a long strip. Lifting his shirt, he hisses. “Fuck that hurts, (Y/n).” I nod, and before I can ask what made the circle-shaped wound. He answers me, “That guy's goons from the other night,... I was walking home to our place, and they broke a beer bottle on the side of the building. I got a swing in before the one stabbed me in the stomach with the bottle.” He doesn’t go into more detail as I wrap it up and put pressure on it.
For some reason, I can’t help but laugh as I realize my mom was right. I almost got to see Yugyeom stabbed to death. If he’s not bleeding out right now, that is. I explain my laughter, “You know, my dad was a King Pin.” He looks over at me with a raised brow, “Really? How did you get out of the mafia life?” I shrug, “My mom ran away as fast as she could after she saw him get stabbed to death. No one knew of my mom since they had just started dating after their one nightstand. And nine months later, my mom had me. She told me everything she knew about him. She didn’t want me to be with you because she watched her lover get stabbed to death. All because he owed some money,... She didn’t want me to lose you the same way.” He laughs as he coughs up blood. “Funny how that works, huh?” I shake my head with tears in my eyes as the reality dawns on me.
He reaches for something in the troves of the bags and hands me a bundle of daisies, “I planned on giving you these when I saw you later tonight.” I sigh heavily, “I love you so much, Gyeom. Please,... please don’t die on me.” He smirks weakly, “I wouldn’t... dr-dream of it.” I place a kiss on his lips and ask, “What do you want me to do?” He shakes his head, “A drag of a cigarette would be nice right now.” I sigh and dig through my pockets. “How did you know I hid them from you?” He makes a face at me, and I sigh, “I didn’t want you to cough up your lungs, you know?” I pull out the pack and a lighter. I take a drag from it first before passing it to Yugyeom.
He sighs deeply and lets out the smoke. “You know, I watched you take them. You’re not that sneaky,... But I promised myself I would try to quit.” I roll my eyes at him, “Yeah?” He nods, “For you, I would give up my own life.” My eyes nearly pop out of my head, “Please don’t risk something that means so much to me.” He pulls the cigarette from his lips, and I wipe the blood from underneath it off. He shakily brings his hand up to my face and pulls me in for a kiss. We pull away, and I look him in his eyes. And he tells me, “I think Jinyoung is coming,...” On cue, I hear the sound of tire screech to a halt. “Goddammit, how did you get yourself into this mess?!” Jinyoung yells sternly. I shake my head, “I honestly couldn’t tell you. I came out to dump some trash at the dumpster, and here he was laying.” Jinyoung sighs, “Help me dump him in the car?” I shrug, and we both lug up the tall man. “Thanks.” Jinyoung rolls his eyes, “Don’t mention it. No, seriously.” A smile creeping up his face, he grabs a sanitizer out of the van. He sprays it over the trash before we throw it all into the overflowing dumpster.
Instead of joining Jinyoung in the front, I go over to sit on the bench seat in the back. I pull the door shut to the side compartment of the van as Jinyoung hits the gas hard. I fly back, “Jinyoung!” I growl, and Yugyeom lets out a laugh and pulls me near him. “The seatbelts don’t work on the bench seat, by the way. The safest place is next to me.” I sigh, “You got that right.” I place the daisies that I kept safe on the bench seat.
Jinyoung patches him up once we arrive at his house, “Now, take good care of this little rascal.” Yugyeom laughs, “You love me, Jinyoung.” He gives Yugyeom a blank look, “Yeah, I just don’t want to see you get hurt.” I grin and thank him, and Jinyoung nods, “Now, go have a date night or whatever you kids do nowadays.” We walk home together. I hold the daisies close to me. He asks if I still have the pack of cigarettes as we pass the dumpster he was bleeding out in front of. I nod and hand them over to him, and he gives me a beautiful smile. He tosses them a bit in his hands before he whips them into the dumpster. “I told you, I’d give them up.” I roll my eyes, “If it relieved your anxiety, you didn’t have to give them up.” He kisses my forehead, “You relieve my anxiety, plus you’ve done more for me than that pack ever did.” I shake my head before I pull him in for a kiss. “You know, you’re the best at doing the worst.” He raises his eyebrow, “You could kill someone and still look flawless. You could get beat the fuck out of, and you still look like a million bucks.” He runs a hand through his hair, “How can you describe a criminal so beautifully?” I bring his hand up to my lips and tell him, “Because the criminal I’m in love with is so much more than his crimes.” As we reach the first step to our apartment, he turns me towards him. “I love you. You’re the light of my life. Thank you for loving and taking care of me.”
I call my mom later that night and tell her what happened, “Oh, honey, are you okay?” I tell her I am, that I’m glad she worried about Yugyeom and me. But that I know, nothing can come in between us now. I’m deeply in love with him, and I don’t think anything could ever change that. I come to sit down next to him on our shared bed. “Wanna say anything to him?”
He smiles and takes the phone from me, and I hear him laugh. He smiles over at me, “Honestly, I don’t think they could ever get me to stop loving them.” He grabs my hand, and we intertwine them together. “I promise, (M/n), nothing could stop me from protecting them. I’ll keep them safe, don’t worry, I’ll hand you back to them.” She tells me she loves me and that to take good care of the lengthy troublesome man. I promise to and tell her goodbye before hanging up and cuddling up to Yugyeom. “You know, it’s only been a year since we have been together but, I’m deeply, madly, in love with you,” I tell him while looking into his eyes. “I find myself falling more and more in love with you than I ever thought possible each day.” He tells me and pecks my cheek. We get under the covers, and he reaches over and turns off the lamp. “Good night.” We say in unison and can’t help but laugh. “Can I be the little spoon tonight?” He asks me softly, “I was hoping you would ask that.” I drape my arms over his torso and bring him into my body. Our legs tangled together comfortably, and I realize there is nowhere I’d rather be than here with him in my arms where the world looks so soft.
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yoditorian · 4 years ago
Text
lacuna- part 7
din/reader
cooking is my love language so i made it rebel’s too (as ever, thank you to my love my life @brothersdrxke for being my shara) 💛 there’s rly only two more parts after this huh
series masterlist // main masterlist
word count: 2.7k
warnings: i don’t think there’s any swears in this one but just to be on the safe side, rebel has PTSD although it’s more suggested than actually experienced there’s a couple of moments that are shaky, softness and domesticity or just sadness?, sadness, the usual type of smut, 18+ no babies thanks
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“No.”
At least Colonel Cintass has the decency to look surprised, he blanches when you show no sign of joking and sits up a little straighter. 
“If it’s a question of pay or location, both are negotiable. There’s academies all over the Inner and Mid rim, you’ll have your pick of the lot and a promotion if you accept.” He’s clutching at all the straws he has at his disposal, but you don’t budge. He huffs when you say nothing and asks, albeit agitatedly, what your plans are instead.
“Maybe I’ll go private. Pays well, I can do what I want-”
“There’s no glory in the private sector.” Cintass interrupts you, and your eyebrows furrow further.
“And there is here? If you joined up for glory, Colonel, I don’t think you should be calling the shots.” You’re right and you both know it. You’re all too familiar with the friends who’ve retired to find something quieter, and with the officers who spent their Rebellion days discussing facts and figures with politicians. People who’d never been on the front lines in the thick of it, never even seen a firefight, now in charge of fresh faced cadets and veterans with too many demons to feel like they belong anywhere else. You won’t stay here, not for any longer than it takes to pack your things.
You pulled out of Green Squadron the day after Shara told you she was retiring, the last of the original crew, you hadn’t wanted to fly any more missions without her. At least the Colonel heard you out and didn’t argue. He’d let you stay on as a temporary mechanic, while you figured out what it was you wanted to do. Although, now it’s clear he fought to keep you so he could get things in place to offer you a teaching job. 
It’s a good position, in all honesty. Miles better pay than you’ll get for the same job anywhere else, the choice to relocate to any of the shiny New Republic Navy training centres across the galaxy. But you can’t look a bunch of teenagers in the eye and tell them that this is everything they hope for. Not when the war chewed you up and spit you out the way it did. The scars on your back ache at the thought of it. 
Shara finds you in the hangar, loading up a couple of bags into your A-Wing’s pitiful storage compartment. All your belongings, your whole life, packed up and ready to go wherever you decide to take them.
“I don’t think you’re gonna be able to live in there.” 
“Ah, I’ll get a couple of hanging plants, maybe put up some curtains,” You smile at her from the top of the ladder, “Could be cosy.”
You know why she’s here. Not to talk you into accepting the teaching job, she knows you better than that. The idea was one she’d had right after she and Kes had found the old farm on Yavin IV, in need of a little tlc and a lot of patience, it was the perfect spot for them to raise their boy. And the little house further down the track, right at the edge of their land, was the perfect spot for you.
“I’m not saying you have to stay there forever,” She starts when you open your mouth to decline again, “I’m saying that when you need some solid ground under your feet, you don’t have to go looking for it.”
“Shara-”
“We’re family. You will always have a home with us.” It’s final. Non-negotiable. And something about the look in her eye makes you want to cry just a little bit. You think about the collection of scribbles tucked carefully away in one of your bags, the more recent ones at least are a little easier to distinguish as people. Four multi-coloured potatoes with legs. As far as little Poe is concerned, he agrees with his mother. 
You hop down the ladder and pull Shara tightly to you, maybe tighter than you have before. Because you’ve never really had a home, not a place you ever felt was worthy of such a title. But here she is, offering one to you like it’s nothing. 
“So, where are you off to now?” She asks when you finally have the strength to let her go. Both of your eyes are a little watery, but neither of you mentions it.
“Well, I turned down Cintass so it's up in the air. I’ve got some old contacts, so as long as they’ve forgiven me I can get a little income before I have to make any concrete decisions.” You don’t tell her exactly who the contacts are. Something about the way she raises her eyebrow makes you wonder if she’s already guessed where you’re going.  
It feels strange, guiding your A-Wing out of the hangar for the last time. You hope it's the last time. At least you had enough put by to get Green Four decommissioned and released to you, it might have been a little more difficult than you’d initially thought if you had to leave the ship behind. She’s old and you’ve put her through hell, but she’s yet to let you down.
You’re not overly surprised that your comm signal goes unanswered. You weren’t exactly the most gracious guest on your last visit. But you don’t get shot up on your approach, so maybe your old friends are feeling a little more amicable nowadays.
“Impressive.” Ran says when you hop out of the cockpit, helmet under one arm and a sheepish smile on your face.
“She used to be.” You know he’s already calculating how much he can get for it, or whether he wants to strip it for parts. Your heart aches at the thought of it but there’s not a lot you can do. If letting go of your starfighter is what gets you back on the team, then it’s what’ll have to happen. Even if it hurts.
Ran gestures at a couple of new crewmates, a Devaronian and a human, and you selfishly hope you won’t have to work too closely with them. There’s an insignia on the shoulder of the human’s jacket, one you don’t want to examine too closely for fear you’re right. He’s about to offer you your old room when the shooting starts.
The men are taking turns at a set of old side panels, blaster bolts melting the old steel on contact, and you know that. You flinch before you can stop yourself. Ran watches you suspiciously, but he says nothing. Before the war, you would never have even batted an eyelid at a little target practice. You probably would have been in the thick of it, laughing and betting and not watching your friends die over and over in your mind.
“You stink of soldier.” Xi’an sneers, although she means it more as an observation than an accusation. You don’t disagree, only shrug, and your hand hovers warily over your holster as you watch the shooting competition. Just in case.
“Where’s Qin?” You ask once your heartbeat returns to normal. Anger flashes across Xi’an’s face as Ran explains he’d outsourced a job a few years ago, and Qin hadn’t made it back. It’s unexpected, the odd way you find yourself a little disappointed. Even though he’d been cold with you on your last visit, even though you’d bickered and been at each other’s throats more than once. Qin had been a friend once, a lifetime ago. You suppose that’s exactly the problem.
“Are you still terrible at throwing?” Xi’an asks, and the awkward tension finally melts away. Her wicked smile returns and you find yourself mirroring it.
“I’m a little better.” You say. Although you’re still certain she’ll wipe the floor with you, it’s nice to see at least somebody around here missed you. It’s about as close to a confession as you’ll ever get from Xi’an. You’d be an idiot not to take the olive branch she’s so selflessly holding out in front of you. Maybe you won’t be so alone on the station after all.
Din’s wondering about you, some part of him always is, as he looks at the new pucks in his hands. A couple of humans, a mythrol, and a chiss. None of them should cause him too much trouble, but none of their last known locations are exactly close. He settles on one of the humans, last seen in the Yavin system, and tells himself it’s because he can stock up on supplies for some of the more long haul flights the new assignments will take him on. Definitely not because he could stand to be around people who might remind you of him, even just a little. Definitely not because he misses you.
Din watches you from across the market, chatting animatedly with a dark haired woman he’s half-certain he’s met before. The way she leans so casually, so naturally, against your shoulder as she laughs makes his ribcage ache. He wants that with you, always has. He wants to be able to take you to places like these. To hold you close in front of throngs of people and meet your old friends. He shouldn’t even be here.
The Armourer’s words still echo in his ears. He is responsible for the covert, their hardest working hunter. He cannot, should not, waste thought on times past. 
He shouldn’t be here.
But it’s too late.
Your eyes zero in on him, abandoning the conversation, and your friend follows your gaze. Din takes that as an invitation, slowly making his way towards the two of you in the shadow of a baker’s stall. The crowds part, as they always do, and for the first time he finds himself wishing they wouldn’t. You might have a life here, for all he knows. It’s been long enough. You deserve one, really. To have a home. To feel loved all the time, to not have to wonder. And then he’s there, in front of you, just staring. What are either of you even supposed to say?
A small boy peers around your hip, looking up at him in wonder. Too old to be yours, if he remembers correctly, but for a moment his heart seizes. You rest your hand in the kid’s curls, absentmindedly ruffling them. You’ve always fiddled when you’re nervous. 
“We should probably get home, but I’ll see you tomorrow?” The woman clears her throat, snapping the sudden tension into shards. Din’s careful not to cut himself on the edges. 
You nod enthusiastically, every language you know still lodged uncomfortably in your throat, and wrap an arm around her shoulders for a brief goodbye hug. She calls the boy after her as she leaves, their matching black curls bouncing when she heaves him up onto her shoulders.
“Shara,” You say, watching the two disappear into the waning crowd, “She teaches some of the older kids piloting basics. I help out when I’m here, mechanics mostly.”
“You find somewhere to settle?”
You shake your head. Give him some vague answer about drifting where the wind takes you. He doesn’t need to know you went crawling back to the only thing you knew before the war. It’s quiet for a moment, and even though you’re standing in the middle of the market, it’s as though you’re the only two people on the whole street. Din’s floundering for something to say, something to keep you here for just another minute, until you break the silence and save him. Just like you always do.
“When was the last time you ate something that wasn’t a ration pack?” 
Even with the way he treated you last time, you’re still showing him the kindness you always have. He’s still not sure he deserves it. 
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Come on.” You take his silence as an answer, and start towards an alleyway between two buildings. Din follows you without hesitation, and the path opens up to a small parking lot half-full of different speeder models. You lead him to an older one, yellow paint faded and scratched, and drop your bag in the backseat. He falters a little when you climb in and gesture to the seat beside you.
“Unless you wanted to sit in the back.” Your smirk is warm, familiar. It hurts to look at. So he hops in and settles on the front bench because he’s not sure he can bear to watch you look at him like that much longer.
The little home down the dusty farm track is not somewhere he ever expected you to call your own. You’ve always seemed like you should be on a background of stars, a hyperspace lane, not somewhere this domestic. At least that way he wouldn’t be consumed, so suddenly, with a very real idea of staying. 
You just look so comfortable, bathed in the low light of the afternoon sun through the windows, pulling vegetables out of a fridge covered head to toe in kid’s drawings. The little boy from the market, presumably. And it makes his ribcage ache to know that this too, is something that’ll always be missing from his every day. He won’t get to sit at your kitchen table and watch you fuss over a pot of stew, or have you slide up behind him and kiss his shoulder as he follows your favourite recipe. 
It’s the best stew he’s ever had. Easily. The sun has disappeared behind Yavin, bathing the whole moon in an odd red glow as he eats. The helmet seems to glare at him from the middle of your kitchen table. You’d ducked into the bedroom to eat before he could even suggest that you take the kitchen. Another sacrifice you’ve made for him. What does that make the number now?
His gloves stay on the table while he washes the dishes, at his insistence. Although you’d put up a little bit of a fight. Din doesn’t bother to pick them up when he passes the table, when he appears in your bedroom doorway and you look up from your datapad like it’s the most natural thing in the galaxy. 
You’ve pulled the curtains, shut the world out, and the room is plunged into darkness when you flick the lightswitch by the head of your bed. 
You’re expecting the warmth of his skin on yours when he finally finds his way to you in unfamiliar space. He always sheds his armour so silently. You don’t expect him to take your hands in his, and raise them to the sides of his helmet.
The breath catches in your throat, you know he can hear it. His fingers tremble slightly over yours but he doesn’t waver. He settles them both solidly on either side of his helmet, and guides you for a moment. Your hands follow the rest of the way when he drops his to your waist, you set it carefully on the bedside table and turn back to him. He’s not stupid. He knows you can’t actually see him. But it feels like every barrier between you is finally, melted away. And Din can lay you back on the bed as himself. 
It’s strange to have him in a space that’s become yours. Knowing that in the dark his helmet is sitting on a bedside table next to a picture frame of you and Green Squadron. That he probably saw every drawing Poe’s ever scribbled for you stuck to your fridge. But you force yourself to forget that. You shove it right down until there’s no room in your head for anything but the way he’s clinging to you. Until he is all you know.
“Tell me you don’t love me.” You’re almost asleep when the traitorous words slip out. 
Oh, you think you’re clever. You think you’re leaving him no choice but to confess. You think this is where things finally, finally, start to go your way. They don’t.
“I don’t love you.”
No differently than if he was recounting the weather forecast. And it hurts. But you don’t have it in you to run, to cry, to be angry with him at all. Instead, you fall back down to press your cheek against the warmth of his bare chest, defeated. He holds you there until you’re sleeping.
-
TAGLIST (add yourself here):
@brothersdrxke @rebloogggs @keeper0fthestars @remmysbounty @sirianisrock @thevoiceinyourheadx @firstofficerwiggles @1800-fight-me @ew-erin @chatterbean
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platypanthewriter · 4 years ago
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Fire
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Harringrove April day 21, Fire.  Robin decides to move on with her life by burning her memories in a summer bonfire, but it turns out the one that moves on is Steve.
Robin lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling, and Steve waited.  She groaned, grabbing the pillow, and smushing it over her face.  “...she smelled like summer,” she groaned.
“Kinda like lawn clippings,” Steve agreed, wrinkling his nose, and then ducking the pillow she threw.  
“I’m over her,” Robin sighed.  “I am!  I’m over her, jesus.”
“Is that her scrunchy?” Steve asked, pointing at the suspiciously shrine-like setup with the photo of the girl in question, a gold star sticker Steve remembered her sticking on Robin’s cheek, and a stick of gum she’d passed across the ice cream counter, saying ‘look, it’s a new flavor!’.
She’d blown a bubble in Robin’s face.  Steve’s best friend had staggered watching full, bright pink lips pursed around the bubble, and then clutched the counter at the dazzling smile after. 
“I think she might be dating Tommy Hagen,” Steve muttered, both wanting Robin to know, and not wanting to be the one to tell her.  
“Auuuugh,” Robin moaned, kicking her feet.  “Why do the hot ones have such bad taste?!”
“No idea,” Steve said, huffing a sigh of his own.  
“This isn’t about you,” she hissed at him.  “Hot girls like you, so shut it.”
“I thought she liked you too,” Steve told her, holding up a ratty old Curious George toy, and making it clutch its paws over its mouth.  “She kept trying to put makeup on you.”
“Oh, is that what girls do when they’re hitting on you?” Robin muttered at him, hugging her pillow.  
“No,” Steve said, having Curious George pat reassuringly at her toe.  She yelped, and snickered.  “But, I mean, she doesn’t...maybe she didn’t know what to do.  She tried to get you to come over, I mean—”
“To look at magazines about boys, probably,” Robin mumbled into her pillow.  “God, why wasn’t I born on Themyscira?!”
“Where?” Steve asked, cocking Curious George’s head. 
“Where Wonder Woman lived.  Full of lesbians,” Robin sighed, and Steve nodded slowly.  “Anyway.  I’m over her.  Done.  What do I want with some party girl, anyway.”
Steve, who’d watched Vicki Carmichael fixing her makeup and scrunching her hair before coming in to ask for Robin, bit his lips.  
“The mall burned, and so did my fantasies,” Robin sighed.  “Let’s have a bonfire.  I’ll burn my creepy shrine,” she said, and Steve winced.  “I saw you thinkin’ it,” Robin told him, glaring.  “You can burn your lock of Nancy’s hair or whatever—”
“I don’t have a lock of her hair,” Steve said, his cheeks burning, as he remembered the notes he did have, when she’d returned a few replies to the the hundreds he’d slipped in her locker.  
“Bring Henderson,” she said.  “He can burn whatever weird shit of Max Mayfield’s he’s got ferreted away.”
Steve snorted a laugh, shaking his head.  
 When he saw Vicki Carmichael lingering around his car the next day, her brightly lipsticked mouth sucking a Tootsie Pop, he narrowed his eyes.
“Where’s Buckley?” she asked, eyeing him up and down, the way she had.  
“At home, I guess,” he told her, and she ran a bangled hand through her hair.  
Her lashes were sticking together, a little, and he wondered if she’d applied fresh mascara while she waited.  “Thought you two were stapled together at the hip,” she said, and then spun the Tootsie pop in her mouth.  “Never see one without the other.”
“We’re not dating,” Steve told her, trying to think of what a good friend would do.  “Uh.  We’re...not like that.”
“What are you like?” she asked, laughing, and Steve had no idea what that meant, so he just frowned at her.  She smiled down at her nails, shifting her heels on the concrete.  
“...she’s throwing a party,” Steve told her.  “I mean, kinda, us and a couple of friends, is all, but you should—you should come.”
Vicki went still, searching his face.
“Not—” Steve waved his hands, stepping back, and trying to figure out how to politely say ‘Don’t worry, I’m not into you!’.  “Um, you can hang with Robin, I’ll have other, uh, other friends there.”
It was the first time he’d ever seen Vicki Carmichael blush.  Her makeup hid most of it, but her ears went red, and down her neck, and Steve jerked his head to look away before he stared at her chest like a creep to see whether she was blushing there too.  
“...maybe I shouldn’t go,” she said, laughing a little unsteadily, and he realized he’d scared her.  “Just—say hello.  Or don’t,” she said, biting down on the tootsie-pop, and then muttering what sounded like a stream of fuck, fuck, fuck with her mouth full of candy shards.
“No, she, um,” Steve flailed, trying to reassure Vicki without saying anything Robin wouldn’t want shared.  “She’s been waiting for you to come in the video store.  We uh, we get movies in, and she says you’d maybe like something—”  It was sarcastic, usually, because while Robin obviously wanted to tear the buttons off Vicki’s shirt and suffocate herself in Vicki’s cleavage, she didn’t have a very high opinion of her movie taste.
It was pretty much the same movies Steve liked, so he was used to Robin rolling her eyes and saying “Figures.”
Vicki still hadn’t said anything, her eyes wide as she stared at his face again.  “I think she’d be happy to see you,” Steve told her, holding back a little smirk.  “And this is dangerous for me to say,” he said, lowering his voice, and grinning at her, “—because she’s gonna be embarrassed as hell that I told you.”
It was hot, in the parking lot of Bradley’s Big Buy, in the last lingering days of summer, watching Vicki shift, hugging herself, and Steve thought it didn’t say much good about him as a person, how scared she was of a trap.  
“Or look up her number in the student handbook,” he said, holding his hands up.  “Bring her some ice cream.  She’s been bitching about not getting it free.”  Vicki’s eyes widened at the idea, and she shook her head rapidly, her hair flouncing over her shoulders.  
Steve put his hands on his hips, thinking.  “Halloween’s coming up,” he remembered, brightening.  “Wonder Woman costume.  She’d probably forget how to breathe.”
Vicki snorted a laugh, staring at him.  “...you think she’d really want me there,” she whispered, a little mumbly, because she was still trying to chew through half a Tootsie-pop.  
“It’s the day after tomorrow,” Steve said, tasting victory.  “Friday night.  Just, like, me and her and some kids we know, you remember Dustin, he was always hanging around at Scoops.  He’ll bring a friend or two, maybe.”
“...if this is—if this is some kind of—” Vicki hissed, waving the half-chewed Tootsie-pop at him.  “If this is—” she stopped again, sniffling, and Steve waved his hands.  
“No!  No, it’s—it’s nothing weird, I promise, she just...she’d be happy,” Steve told her, grimacing.  “If you were there.”
Vicki nodded, chewing her lip, and Steve rattled around in his glove compartment for a pen and paper.  He found a pen, and wrote Robin’s address on Vicki’s hand.
 The night of the bonfire, Dustin showed up with Erica Sinclair, Will Byers, and Eleven.  They all looked solemn, and Steve wondered what kind of weird hijinks he’d let poor Vicki in for.  Everyone brightened up as they piled brush on the pile and lit it, though, and Steve got the hose—just in case—as Will got the others dancing around the fire to music, and some kinda chant.  
“Out with the old, and in with the new,” they sang, giggling, and holding hands.
Robin looked kind of depressed, watching them, and Steve stopped her from just tossing a whole box of things in the flames.  “Come on, wait until it gets going,” he said, “—you’ll put the fire out.”
She groaned, and nodded, then narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously as he leapt up at the sound of a car in the drive.  
It was the Camaro, with Max in the driver’s seat, and Billy, newly out of the hospital, pale and shaking in the passenger’s side.  “Shut up,” Max hissed, before Steve had even said anything.  “He needs to get out of the house sometime.  He was desperate enough to let me drive.”
“He looks like he needs to lie down,” Steve whispered back, as Billy sat in the car, staring forward.  
“He said he’d be fine,” she shot back, shrugging, but looking just as doubtful as Steve did, and crossing her arms.  
Billy leaned his head against the window, watching them, and Steve finally walked around to knock on the glass.  “You need help?”
“...no,” Billy snarled, looking away.  “I’m just peachy, Harrington.”
“Ugh,” Steve sighed.  “Look, I’ll go find you a chair.  Take your time.”
Billy glowered at him, and Steve wondered whether he was supposed to insist on helping, or ignore him, or what, and rolled his eyes, walking off.  
“...I think he might be stuck in there,” Max said conversationally, as they walked back over to the bonfire.  It was burning high now—taller than Steve twice over, with the fuel of a hot summer’s worth of dry branches and old paper.  Erica stuck a cedar branch in there, and the fire ran down the oily fronds like a sparkler.  The heat was too much even six feet away, and Steve soaked the ground around it again.
“Let’s do this thing,” Robin sighed, clutching her box, and Steve grimaced.  
“Uh, wait a minute, Max brought Billy, and he can’t get his weak ass out of the car,” he told her, as she raised an eyebrow at him like he was being ridiculous.  Steve wandered back out to watch for Vicki, his arms crossed.
Billy had his eyes closed, his breathing shallow, and Steve knocked on the window again.  “You alive?” he asked, wondering whether Max’s night was about to be ruined by her brother dead in the driveway.  Maybe inheriting the Camaro would be worth it.
“...’m alive,” Billy said, after taking a slow breath.  “What’s it to you, Harrington?”
“Nothing,” Steve told him, and Billy smirked.  “...Max is all right, is all, and she’ll be pissed if I let you die in the driveway—”  He cut off as another car pulled in, an aged Plymouth Roadrunner, and Vicki clambered out, struggling with three bags of groceries.  
Steve ran over and took one.  “You came!” he whispered excitedly, and she shot him a wary glare.  The bag he’d snatched had two gallons of ice cream under a six-pack of beer, and he snorted a laugh.  “You know how to make an entrance,” he told her, and she smirked faintly.  
“Gotta use everything I have, right,” she said, taking a deep breath, and Billy started laughing in the car, startling her so she nearly dropped the other two bags of ice cream.  
“I’m so sorry, I have no idea why he’s here,” Steve whispered to her, and sidled around between Billy’s car and the hedge to open his door.  Billy’d been leaning against it, and he nearly fell out, his shoulder thudding into Steve’s thigh.  “Come on, asshole,” Steve told him, crouching.  “Put an arm around me, I’ll get you in there.”
Billy glared back at him, but slowly wrapped an arm around Steve’s shoulders, and swung a leg out.  Steve grabbed his belt—prompting a strangled noise from Billy—and hauled him along to the gate to the backyard, while Vicki stared.  
“Thought it was gonna just be you and the kids,” Billy panted, his voice strained.  “You...planning to get lucky on your...best friend’s bed...Harrington?”
“Gross,” Steve muttered.  “How are you this heavy, jesus.”
“Why are you yanking my jeans into my colon,” Billy shot back, growling, but all three of them made it inside, and Robin dropped her box as she shot to her feet, staring at Vicki Carmichael.
“You said she’d be glad to see me,” Vicki said, slurred through her frozen smile as Robin stalked up and tried to yank Steve away somewhere, but Steve was anchored by Billy’s weight.  
“Lemme put this shithead down,” Steve told her, as poor Vicki waved a bag of ice cream, her whole body stiff.
“I brought ice cream,” she said thickly.  “S-Steve told me there was a party.”
“Steve told you,” Robin said flatly, her fingers digging bruises into Steve’s arm.  
“What’s happening,” Billy said under his breath, looking between them, and finally Robin stopped staring Steve down, and clapped her hands.  
“All right!” she shouted.  “Let’s start!”
The kids started chanting again, like the freaks of nature they were, and Steve caught Billy smiling bemusedly at Max, as they pranced around the fire, the flickering light making them look like witches, or something.  Vicki’s eyes were huge.
Steve kicked Dustin’s leg to make him get out of one of the three lawn chairs, and eased Billy into it.  His grip was nearly as tight as Robin’s, but it wasn’t hard to put his cold, shaking fingers together with his pallor, and guess that he was just trying not to fall.  
“I’ll go first!” Max said, waving a handful of paper.  “I’m gonna burn my report card so I can stop hiding it from Neil,” she said, and Billy winced, “—and these letters from my fucking dad where he says I’ll learn to like it here, and—” she swallowed hard, and then just threw the handful into the fire, and Eleven gave her a side-hug.  
Will threw a crumpled ball in, without a word, and then Eleven shoved a whole box into the middle of the flames.  
Dustin had gotten spoons, and Vicki was getting a lot of soft “Thank you!”s as the kids gathered around her grocery bags, and even Robin grabbed one of the beers, eyeing her and then Steve suspiciously.
“Those are the files on the scientists that...did this,” El said.  “To me and my mom.  I decided not to look for them.”
“Holy shit,” Dustin muttered.
“Me next,” said Erica Sinclair.  She held up a polaroid.  “Heather at the pool gave me this of the hot new lifeguard, this summer,” she said, staring directly at Billy, “—but then I found out he was possessed and drank bleach.  I can do better.”
Max stared at her, open-mouthed, but Billy cracked up, holding his chest as he wiped his eyes.  The photo melted, releasing black smoke, and Dustin and Eleven coughed.
“And then there was you two,” Erica said, putting her hands on her hips to survey Steve, and then Robin, and ripping another photo of them—in Scoops uniforms—exactly in half.  “No free ice cream?  Neither of you are my true loves.”
“Oh my god,” Billy whispered, laughing harder, and looking pained.  
“None of you deserve me,” Erica said, sighing, and she sat down again.
Steve yanked the folded notes he’d kept from Nancy, folded them tighter, and tossed them on the fire.  
“What was that?” Billy asked, frowning up at him.  “Harrington.”
“None of your damn business,” Steve sighed, hoping his blush wasn’t visible in the firelight.  He was watching poor Vicki, ignored while her ice cream offering got consumed.  Billy sighed.
“I didn’t bring anything to burn,” Vicki admitted, glaring over at Steve.  “I didn’t know it was a...fire party.”
“Yeah, how dare you bring ice cream, and not s’mores,” Robin said, around a mouth full of ice cream.  She glanced at Vicki, and then stared down into the carton, taking another huge bite.  
“You should put some of this in the freezer,” Steve prompted.  “Robin, you should show her where the freezer is.”
Robin stared at him, her cheeks full of ice cream, her expression epically betrayed.  He glanced at Vicki to see her giving him nearly the same glare, but they did finally go inside, and Steve breathed a sigh of relief watching them through the kitchen window, edging around each other, bumping elbows, and blushing.  Robin caught Vicki’s arm, saying something, and Vicki turned back, so close Robin was pinned against the counter, staring at Vicki’s face, and then her lips.  
“Shit,” Billy whispered, under his breath.  “Those bitches are gonna kiss.”
“Sssht,” Steve hissed at him, watching with a whiteknuckled hand on Billy’s shoulder.  After a pause that went on forever, as they half-listened to Dustin explaining something about his girlfriend Susie and becoming astronauts, Vicki leaned in, licking her lips.  Steve heard Billy take a shaky breath along with him as Vicki turned her head, kissing Robin firmly enough it pushed her head back, and Robin waved her hands in the air, her eyes huge.  Vicki’s eyes were closed, and her shoulders hunched, a little, when Robin just stared into space, instead of kissing her back.  
Vicki jerked away, and they could hear her heels clacking on the linoleum towards them, so Steve ran over and banged on the window.  “Robin!” he yelled against the glass.  “Wake up!  She’s leaving!”
Robin jerked, shaking her head, and then glowered out, slapping a hand over to turn off the kitchen light, so they couldn’t see what was happening anymore—but she didn’t catch Vicki, apparently, because the heel-noises clattered across the threshold and she came barrelling out, wiping her eyes.  She glared at Steve, and then stomped towards her car, and Robin came flying out after her.  
“Stop, wait,” she hissed, and the kids finally looked over.
“Put more wood on the fire,” Steve told them, spraying the ground around them, as the fire dried the sparse grass.  They yelled and scrambled out of the way, giggling, and out of the corner of his eye, he watched Robin catch Vicki’s hands, whispering to her.  
The kids started building the fire up higher—Steve took the precaution of really soaking the yard down, not wanting to burn the whole neighborhood down even in exchange for getting his best friend laid—and Robin pulled Vicki back over to where she’d been sitting, and slowly, showed her what was in the box.  Vicki covered her face, crying over her own scrunchie, her hair and jewelry glinting in the firelight.  Robin stared over at Steve, rolling her eyes with a bewildered grin.
“...you were playing wingman for a goddamn lesbian,” Billy whispered, like he couldn’t believe it.
“Shut up,” Steve hissed at him.  “Don’t tell anyone.  I’ve still got the hose.”
“You set that up,” Billy said again, and Steve squirted the hose at his lap.  Billy swore, clutching the arms of the chair, but wouldn’t stop staring at him, like he was a zoo animal, and Steve avoided him as much as he could, the rest of the night.
When the kids started to get tired—leaning on each other, their faces orange and sleepy in the firelight—Billy was squirming around, his teeth clenched, a trail of cold sweat running down his cheek.  
Steve sighed.  “You want me to get you home?” he asked, and Billy stared up at him, the same weird, blank look he’d been giving Steve ever since they’d watched Vicki and RObin kiss.  “Look, man, I can tell you’re hurting,” Steve told him, and Billy bit his lips together, swallowing.  
“...I’m fine,” he said, glancing over towards the driveway and wincing, and Steve sighed.
“...you pushed yourself too damn far, and now it’s gonna hurt getting home,” he sighed.  “Am I right?”
Billy licked his lips, and looked up again, watching Steve’s face like it was riveting, like the best new music video on MTV.
“...look,” Steve said, tiredly.  “Robin’s parents are out of town.  Lemme get you to the couch, you can lie down, okay?  I’ll take you home later.”  He said the last part loud, looking over at Robin, and she waved him on, staring into the fire, with Vicki curled up against her shoulder.  Robin shook her head slowly, and squeezed her close.
Billy watched them, then staggered as Steve grabbed his arm and hauled him up.  
 It wasn’t far, to get into Robin’s living room—and thank god it wasn’t, Steve thought, hobbling under Billy’s nearly-limp weight.  He tossed the pillows and things off the couch, lowered Billy as gently as he could onto the couch, and yanked Billy’s boots off.  Billy eased himself back with a soft groan, letting his eyes close.  
“You need a blanket?” Steve asked, and Billy started laughing again, softly, but enough so he grunted with pain, baring his teeth as a tear rolled out of his eye and around to his ear.  
“...jesus,” he whispered.  “You wanna give me a blanket?  I kicked your ass, Harrington—”
“Just don’t do it again, asshole.  Would a blanket help?” Steve asked, waving his hands in frustration.  “Is there anything I can do?  Do you have, like, something for pain?  Jesus, Hargrove.”
“...only one thing you can do,” Billy laughed.  “Come here, Harrington.”  
Steve sighed, and knelt on the floor next to him, letting Billy Hargrove grab his shirt, and pull him in close.  He wondered what the hell Billy couldn’t just say aloud, and then Billy whispered “Don’t get too pissed, Harrington,” and kissed him.
Steve sat back on his heels, his lips tingling from the warm, dry pressure of Billy Hargrove’s lips.  He understood how Robin had felt, suddenly, staring like a moron as her lady ran out the door.  “...what,” he whispered.
“Don’t think about it too hard,” Billy said, laughing again, his breath catching as he squeezed his eyes shut.  “S’nothing.”
Steve remembered touches on the basketball court, and lingering glowers in the showers at the gym.  He remembered Billy choosing to save Eleven and die, throwing his whole life in the bonfire, and Max missing him, like there’d been somebody inside Billy Hargrove worth missing.  Maybe there was, Steve thought. “Seemed like something,” he whispered back.
Billy started laughing again, tears trickling out of his eyes as he gritted his teeth, curling tighter on the couch, and Steve panicked and kissed him again, deeper this time, until Billy went soft and loose against him, his eyes wide in the flickering light from the fire.
“Ssssh,” Steve whispered, again, stroking Billy’s side, trying to avoid the bandages under his clothes.
Billy licked his lips, his eyes shiny.  “...what’d you burn, Harrington,” he whispered, and Steve bit his lips, thinking.
“...I needed to move on,” he whispered back.  “Find...something new, maybe.”  He watched Billy’s hands clench in the fabric of his shirt.  “...somebody new, maybe,” Steve breathed, and leaned in again.  Billy tasted like woodsmoke, and new beginnings.
Other Harringrove April prompts I’ve done
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