#he won’t be mean to you but he will do 100 pushups over you as foreplay

[wrathofrats]

Ifrit having sex with cirrus for the first time and she’s like “fuck- call me a stupid whore, pull my hair” and ifrits like “no omg id never shame a woman I love women-“

[keeira2]

OFF LIMITS

part 1 >> part2

s2 rafe cameron x barryslittlesister!reader

summary: barry never mentioned he had a sister, he didn’t want you involved in his business whatsoever. that is until you answer the door and you’re left to greet a pretty kook.

warnings: drugs mentioned, snorting, smutty discriptive language??? no smut (yet), MDNI!! if i forget any pls lmk

a/n: i will be making a part 2 to this, pls lmk if u like it also dm me for requests!! DO NOT HOLD BACK!! i’m not 100% sure how tumblr works with posting but any tips appreciated this is my first fic :3

he’d been gone for a few hours now, y/n comfortably sprawled out in bed, twirling her hair in one hand, scrolling mindlessly thru tumblr on the other. she was getting rlly bored all by herself. she eagerly got up off her twin sized mattress and grabbed her stash out of her bed side table. (that she got for free bc barry loves her :3)

she poured a little out, grabbed a fiver from her lacy pink pushup, while moving the powdery substance into a very generous line before leaning down nd snorting it. the effects taking effect immediately she shook her head and winced at the tickling feeling in her nose.

she hid her stash away and right as she was about to collapse back on her bed a loud banging on the door awakened her senses. she knew it couldn’t have been her brother, he had a key, and barry always warned her to NEVER open the door.

“HEY BARRY, YOU HOME?” yelled a manly frustrated voice, followed by much more pounding on the door. u were never gonna open it, but you were just a little curious and u peaked thru the curtain above ur bed to see a kook. a rich.. snobby.. handsome, sexy kook? he was all kinds of fine, u immediately thought of all the things you’d let him do to you, if only you were allowed to let him even look at you.

ur closing the curtains and hear a loud ringing from your phone, lunging over to your bed to catch it you accept and put it up to your ear.

“yo is there a guy outside?” barry questions with a rushed tone.

“yeah, a kook,” you roll your eyes letting out a chuckle, “he’s banging on the door for you it’s getting kinda annoying” you complain.

“look, i want you to let him in.. only long enough for him to grab his shit and go. i don’t want him staying around you. open the door nd tell him i’ve gone out for a bit and give him the stash in the bottom drawer in the kitchen. then let him leave, alright?” barry explains sternly, almost scolding you.

more loud knocks are heard from all throughout the room as you stand up “yeah no worries barry, i gotchu.” you say before hanging up the call and throwing ur phone back into your bed.

quickly checking in the mirror for any flaws, matching thong peaking out of ur minishorts, the cutest garter tights underneath them, and a long trashy tank top, the collar dipping right inbetween ur perked tits.

you giggly skip over to the door, and open it see him in full view, when suddenly he’s pushing past you and searching throughout the trailer, probs looking for barry.

“yeah, come on in i guess.” you mutter, rolling your eyes at his abrupt ignorance.

you hear a loud sigh from in the living room, “hey is barry ho-“ he pauses, finally looks over to you. fully taking you in now, his jaw dropping slightly but not enough to really notice.

“no, but he told me to let you in he won’t be home for a while, you need coke?” you say with no hesitation, strutting over to the kitchen and bending down to take out the stash, ur thong and plushy ass now in full view as he stands there like a statue still in a state of shock. (or admiration >:))

“um, yeah thanks..” he pauses again, scratching the back of his head, “barry never said he had a girlfriend.” you roll your eyes letting out an audible gag.

“that makes sense considering he’s my BROTHER.” you scoff before getting up, grabbing his arm you lead him to sit down on the chair across from you. placing the massive bag of coke on the table inbetween.

“yeah i mean i js didn’t expect a girl here, barry never mentioned he had a hot sister.” oh but how he wish he had, you were the most gorgeous thing he’d ever seen.

you scoff, again, clearly annoyed, “yeah he’s rllyyyy protective so, you can get on with it” you say while impatiently tapping ur finger against the arm rest.

he knew he had to have you. he was gonna fuck that attitude out of you, but unfortunately that had to wait. he had a massive party he needed to show up for to sell his, yk merchandise, and he’s already running late. lots of angry feining kooks waiting for him on the other side of the island.

he bends down with a smirk, placing his large hand onto the bag of coke, picking it up and standing.

“i’ll see you again soon princess” and just like that he winks and walks out, locking the door on his way out too, ‘sure you will’ you say sarcastically to yourself once he’s gone.

[adenandraofvespertine]

GUZMA HEADCANONS!!

Some are NSFW, you have been warned.

• Big, warm hands. Not too warm, not too cold.

• Impressive muscle mass with a healthy amount of fat around the tummy, hips and legs. Is self conscious about his squishy bits but will never be open about it, not unless you coax it out.

• Really enjoys food, takes you out to eat a often

• Works out every single day, mainly pushups and punching something. Tuff guy over here.

• A switch but will never admit it

• Can trade between being a soft, doting top to a rough and dominant top. Also has a side to him where he is an awed and enthralled bottom

• Very into body worship, giving and receiving. Likes to make you feel loved and feel loved.

• Great at oral, like mind blowing

• Open to most kinks, bondage and blindfolding are favourite to toy around with

• Really, really likes holding hands.

• Little kisses, all the time, here and there. End of conversation? Kiss. Going off to find something in the store? Kiss. Off to do something? Need help? No? Kiss.

• Long, slow, sleepy kisses before bed and when waking up.

• Often kisses shoulders when shirts provide access.

• Really enjoys being doted on, kiss his face gently all over and he melts. Play with his hair, trace imaginary patterns on his skin, massages.

• He's wrapped around your little finger, and often says so.

• Is actually really good at singing, refuses to admit it

• Thinks it's fun to annoy you, just a little bit, he knows when to cease and desist.

• Enjoys cooking, is surprisingly good at it!

• Hugs it out when you get frustrated with something

• Likes watching cooking shows and YouTube videos, purely because they are soothing

• Skateboards. Not everywhere, or all the time, but knows how and it's a hobby.

• A pretty good artist too. Mainly graffiti style stuff. Can't use graphite pencil for peanuts but is great with paint and spray paint.

• Doesn't know how washing machines work, just knows to put a liquid in and press a button. If anything else is accidentally pressed, he asks you or Plumeria for help.

• Is absolutely enthralled by watching you do your makeup

• Has 100% let you do his and been super into it

• Plumeria joined in, it was a lot of fun

• Golisopod is a big puppy and loves you almost as much as Guzma does

• Cheek kisses will always make him blush

• Doesn't like blueberries

• What do you mean there are different kinds of fruits other than apples, oranges, berries and bananas????

• Is a pro at pirating games and movies

• This lad is an absolute unit. 190cm tall, muscle thicc, big bones, big diCk

• PHAT ass

• If you spank his booty he will either laugh, turn around and attack you with tickles and kisses or try to get you back

• Wants nothing more than for you to see yourself as perfectly as he sees you

• Always offers to help with housework or straight up does it himself, likes taking care of you

• 👏Wants👏you👏to👏feel👏appreciated👏

• Buys you things that made him think of you

• Guys really weird, obscure mugs from thrift shops and dollar stores

• Always laughs at anything genital themed

• Uses "bruh" unironically

• Crazy supporter of BLM and LGBT+

• Plumeria is a lesbian and they are absolute bros what do you expect

• He will kiss every part of you that you find unattractive and tell you how wrong you are, if you do the same for him he might cry??

• Very sensitive nipples, use them in the bedroom for some entertaining reactions

• Open to but stuff, vibrators drive him sky high

• Will never, ever cheat. Fucking hates that shit, he's had his heart broken and he never wants to break yours.

• Faithful mans, theoretically married to you from day one

• Loves to make you laugh

• Sometimes just... stares at you... because of how beautiful you are. Or your ass or yiddies because he's a simple man.

• L o v e s ya yiddies

• Weed. Definitely uses weed.

• Will not hesitate to kick a parent for hitting their kid, 100% marches over and gives them a piece of his mind

• Knows how to steal cars flawlessly

• Knows a guy for just about everything

• Fancy underwear? He's speechless and honoured. After all he doesn't feel like he deserves nice things, but here you are, a nice thing dressed in nice things.

• Loves seeing you wear his clothes, especially if you're not wearing pants

• Likes video games a lot, gets unnecessarily competitive and rages on an Arin Hanson level, but is easily calmed down. Won't break things.

• Grabs his hair, runs his hands through his hair and pulls his hair when he feels a rangof emotions.

• Doesn't like seeing you in pain, will always do everything he can to help.

• Cake is godsent

• Will grab your butt often, loves it when you grab his

• Can and will win eating competitions

• Randomly goes for walks at night, will invite you along but if you wanna stay in he'll give you a big kiss and promise to be back soon. It's think time, sometimes snack-buying time.

• Wants you to eat. Constantly asks if you've been eating good. Needs to know you're healthy.

• Always comes to the doctors with you. Holds your hand and is always way more worried than you are.

• Really bad at putting furniture together, electronics however are a piece of cake.

• Always slouching. Knows he shouldn't.

• Is a great heat source in cold weather, warm but not too warm.

• Surprisingly soft skin, follows the same skincare routine as you do because you and Plumeria are the only way he learns this stuff.

[leviskokoro]

Mari in Twisted Wonderland | Abridged Version | Heartslabyul

Chapter 1

Mari had her first prophetic dream and she’s like owo whats this

It was about Alice seeing the Card soldiers paint the white roses red and shit. 

But then, she was awoken by a loud knocking and wonders who it could possibly be at this hour. 

Grim and her decided to go down. Though, she tried finding a weapon first, just in case the person turns out to be some murderer or whatever. Manages to find a knife

They went downstairs to the front door and opened it to see who it was. Turns out that it was Ace. 

She relaxes and lets her guard down.

Ace: Is that a knife?!

Mari: Yeah, what if you were a murderer? 

Grim: Hah! I would’ve taken care of it myself, puny human— Huh?! You got a collar on!

“I ate a tart,” Ace replied, crossing his arms with a scowl on his features. 

Mari tilted her head in confusion and curiosity. “A tart?” 

He nodded. “I was hungry when I got back to the dorm and I found some tarts inside the fridge. Three whole tarts! So I ate one and it was really good. Then the dorm leader found me eating his tart and was all like “Tart theft is unforgivable! OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!” and that’s how I got this collar… The end.” He used a shrill and high-pitched voice to imitate his dorm leader’s words. 

She couldn’t help but stand in silence at that story, squinting. 

“Both of you are in the wrong,” Grim simply remarked with an unamused look on his face. To which the girl nodded in agreement. 

“Isn’t sealing away my magic for stealing a tart a bit too far?!” Ace cried out. “For a wizard, it’s like having your arms and legs chained up. And there were three whole tarts, it’s not like he could eat all of them by himself. There’s got to be a limit to how narrow-minded you could be!” 

“Which is why you’re both in the wrong,” Mari retorted, “You should’ve asked permission first, but he also shouldn’t be so harsh.” 

All he could do was groan at her reply. 

Grim’s eyes widened and he crossed his arms. “What if the tarts were for a party? Someone’s birthday, or something. Heh, I’m a genius.” He grinned, sharp teeth glinted in the moonlight. 

“Birthday?” Ace asked, placing his hand on the back of his head. 

“That might explain why he was so angry,” Mari said, deciding to clean up a little more since she was awake. The two just watched as she did this, not helping because they were little shits.

He huffed, narrowing his eyes at her. “I thought you were gonna say he was being tyrannical, prefect.” 

She shrugged. “He was certainly being unreasonable, but it’s wrong to steal,” she replied as she took a broom and sweeped the dusty floor. 

Grim glared at him, placing his paws on his hips. “You’re at fault for stealing his tart in the first place.” 

“There’s a chance he’ll forgive you if you apologised tomorrow,” the brunette girl advised him as she threw away the dust that she swept up. The wood under her feet creaked as she returned. 

“Grudges over food are the worst,” her partner remarked, an unamused expression on his face. His bright blue eyes widened in realisation. “Wait! I never got those tuna cans from the Headmaster!” 

“Fine. Whatever. All I gotta do is apologise, right?” Ace sighed. He looked at her with a glare. “This is your idea, so you better come with me.” 

All she did was nod. She was going with him regardless anyway. 

“So, where do I sleep tonight?” He asked, an inquisitive look in his eye. 

“You’re actually staying the night?” Grim crossed his arms. “Every room aside from ours is still a mess. Clean a room for yourself.” 

He made a face. “Bleh, I don’t wanna.” Then, he turned to Mari with a smile. “Prefect~ Let me sleep in your room. I’m slim, so I won’t take a lot of space.” 

“Aight.” 

Grim’s eyes widened to the size of saucers at her lax response. “Ffgnaa?! You’re just going to say yes?!” 

“I’m used to sharing beds with people.” Mari proceeded to have a flashback to every time the Demon brothers invited themselves to her room and stayed there without really giving her a choice in the matter, as well as every time she had to sleep in the same room as them. Honestly, at least Ace had the decency to ask first. 

“Sweet! Thanks, Mari.” Ace flashed her a grin. 

After that, they all went to their rooms to sleep. The boy was right, he didn’t take up much space. Plus, the bed was big enough for the two of them. Unfortunately, Ace hogged the sheets. The bastard. 

When morning came, so did the loud knocking. This time it was Deuce and he scolded Ace for getting collared. 

While heading to class, Grim teased Ace about his collar and not being able to use magic. 

Ace will remember that.

They went to the Heartslabyul dorm and Mari is like -surprised pikachu- 

She loves it a lot. The hearts and roses were gorgeous. If only she had magic, then she would’ve been sorted into a nice dorm. Ugh. 

No matter. She’d just have to work hard to make the Ramshackle dorm shine. 

Then they met the e-boy-- I mean, Cater and he was painting the white roses red. 

Mari proceeds to have flashbacks to her dream earlier. Huh. Maybe it was just a coincidence. 

Dude recognises them as the notorious first years that broke the 10,000,000 madol chandelier so he takes a selfie with them. 

He has them paint the roses with him. Grim accidentally sets the roses on fire, Deuce accidentally turns them blue. Turns out it’s a bad idea to ask freshmen that are inexperienced with magic to do your chores. 

Ace complained and asked why they’re painting them red. He said that they look pretty as white roses. Mari agreed and expressed that she felt that the natural colors of the roses were fine. 

Cater explained that it’s tradition for roses to be red for Unbirthday parties. And that they use flamingos in seven different colors for croquet with hedgehogs as the balls. 

Mari wondered if that was safe or ethical. Either way, this dorm was proving to be quite strange for her. 

Ace remembered that he was supposed to apologise. Cater asked if he had a tart of apology and he said no. 

Cater told him that he can’t let him in the dorm then. The first years tried fighting him but lost and got kicked out. 

The bell rang and they had to really rush to Potions class. 

Crewel appeared and Mari had a “Oh no he’s hot!” moment. She paid extra close attention to him during class. 

Then it was History class. Mari mostly looked at Lucius more than Trein but was also fascinated with learning the history of Twisted Wonderland.

 Then PE came around. Mari saw Vargas and was like “Damn he got some tiddies lmao” Then she dies.

Jk. But the 20 laps and 100 pushups were exhausting for her. 

It was break time. Ace and Deuce talked about the classes not being too different from regular school. Mari agreed that they were somewhat similar to the classes she had at RAD. 

Then they noticed Grim was trying to skip class. 

Ace made fun of Mari for losing him and told her that if she wanted his help, then she should buy him a chocolate croissant. Deuce wanted an iced latte. 

All it really took for Mari was to give Deuce her best puppy eyes until he agreed to help. Then she said she didn’t want Ace’s help since he didn’t have his magic anyway. This aggravated him into helping her. Heh, suckers. 

Turns out she didn’t really need their help anyway since she just scolded Grim into going with her, saying he won’t become a great wizard if he didn’t put effort into his studies. 

It was lunchtime and Grim got into trouble with delinquent upperclassmen over food since he bumped into them and the egg broke. One of them said that breaking the egg is the best part about eating carbonara. 

Which confused Mari greatly because she loves eating carbonara and has never ever heard of eating egg on it. Perhaps it was normal in Twisted Wonderland too. Heartslabyul was already strange enough. 

They got into a fight but won this time and the delinquents ran off, yelling about pasta again. 

The first year group started eating and Grim asked what the other dorms are like. Cater popped up next to them, surprising the four of them. Turns out Trey was with him as well. 

Cater basically just tried to get all buddy buddy and exchanged numbers. 

Mari told him she didn’t have a phone and he offered to go phone shopping with her and called it a date

She was just like “bro im fucking POOR” 

Trey told him to chill and they went back on track. Cater started a conversation about the seven dorms.

Time for Mari’s reactions to the other dorms

Heartslabyul - Ew. She doesn’t like overly strict people or environments. 

Savanaclaw - Haha, furry jock dorm. Probably found Jack hot since she’s into the strong silent types. 

Octavinelle - Sea Witch’s dorm, huh? Does that mean they’re business guys? Oh look, it’s that weird guy from the entrance ceremony that “wanted Riddle’s collar” 

Scarabia - The smart ones, according to Trey. There’s the guy who got his butt set on fire during the entrance ceremony and there’s… a really hot guy that’s exactly her type. His hair looked so long and silky and his eyes were mysterious. 

Pomefiore - 

Grim: there’s a super cute girl over there! 

Deuce: A girl besides Mari in an all-boys’ school?!

 Mari: Nah that’s a dude 

Ace: Eh? How do you know? 

Mari: I can see his adam’s apple 

Mari, internally: Shawty had them apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur-- 

So apparently Pomefiore is the “Beauty” dorm and the dorm leader has like five million followers on Magicam. That’s cool, but she’s more interested in their poisons. 

Ignihyde - Cater called the students of that dorm introverts. Trey said that they were good with technology. They seemed real neat. 

Diasomnia - Powerful and considered celebrities, as well as having an aura that makes them hard to approach. Though, Mari lowkey thought that about everyone except that one guy that got his butt set on fire. He seemed very friendly. Maybe it was her social anxiety talking, maybe they were actually just intimidating. Anyway, Lilia popped up from above and scared them. He basically just said that he’s not a child and that Diasomnia welcomes students from other dorms. So there’s that, at least. Though, this doesn’t do anything to extinguish the intimidating aura from the rest of their students. Then the strange dude left. 

Ace started talking shit about Riddle while Mari blankly stared at Riddle who was right behind him. Boi he ded

Riddle then went on with his spiel about rulebreakers. Honestly, Mari pretty much spaced out during this in order not to roll her eyes at him. 

Then he left to get two sugars for his lemon tea that the rules state that he’s supposed to drink after a meal.

Trey tries to explain that Riddle’s intentions aren’t bad and that he’s just trying to make the dorm better. 

To which Mari replies: “Sometimes it doesn’t matter what your intentions are. If you’re clearly making the people around you unhappy and uncomfortable without actual regard for how they feel, then that’s that.” 

And Grim said: “Someone with good intentions doesn’t randomly collar people!” 

They laughed, but one could easily tell that it wasn’t genuine. 

Then bam, more exposition comes and Cater explains what unique magics are. 

Then they start talking about tarts. Mari offered to help make one with Trey and Ace while Deuce and Grim wanted out. They only wanted to help after Trey said they could eat some tart if they helped out. 

They started chestnut picking and met Leona who was a fucking bitch because she accidentally stepped on his tail. 

Jk. He drinks his respect women juice so he’s not as mean and leaves her with only a warning for the most part. 

She and Grim got back to Ace and Deuce, they picked the chestnuts and got back to the Heartslabyul dorm to make that tart. 

Trey made his whole joke with the oyster sauce but Mari just looked at him with pure disbelief in her eyes. Then Trey realized he needed more ingredients since they brought too much chestnuts and Deuce and Mari volunteered to buy them from the shop. Grim also said he wanted to come since he was tired of mixing flour. 

So they go to the Mystery Shop and get the shit. Mari wonders for a moment if Sam has got anything that could possibly help her get home but then shakes her head, saying she’ll see about that later. They head back to the Heartslabyul dorm but run into trouble, then came the reveal of Deuce’s “Bad Boy” personality. Mari was like -surprised pikachu- while he beat the shit out of the delinquents, silently cheering him on. After that, he got upset because his “honor student” persona was gone. It’s especially bad since he felt that he scared Mari. 

Achievement unlocked: Deuce’s Backstory 

Grim asked if being an honor student meant that he should just grin and bear everything. Mari agreed and reassured that being an honor student didn’t necessarily mean that he should be a pushover. Then she broke it to him that the eggs were unfertilised and would never hatch. Now it was his turn on the surprised pikachu face. 

They bought another set of eggs and went back to the Heartslabyul dorm safe and sound. The tart was finished. Hooray! Though, Deuce was still shocked about the chicks so Mari had to pat his back. They started eating some tarts after Cater came by to check on them. He then brought up Trey’s unique magic.

Trey revealed his unique magic and explained it to them. They were impressed. But once they were done, he told Ace he can’t sleep in Heartslabyul and gave him and Deuce permission to sleep in the Ramshackle Dorm so they did. 

Next day. They got to the Unbirthday Party and Ace gave the tart to Riddle. 

Riddle is like “Fuck you. The Law of the Queen of Hearts says one must never bring a mont blanc tart to an Unbirthday Party! REEEEEEE” And then Mari wonders how many rules there are. He answers with 810 and that he memorized them since he’s dorm leader. She’s like “Dude, he’s a freshman, he can’t possibly memorize every rule.” To which Riddle countered with “I memorized them on my first day in NRC! If I can do it, then he should be able to as well.”

“Not everyone has to be like you!” She proceeds to have flashbacks to her narcissistic grandmother who always believed that she was right and demanded that everyone be like her. This causes her to dislike him. 

“As the dorm leader of Heartslabyul, out of respect to the strictness of the Queen of Hearts, I can’t ignore this violation. Throw the mont blanc and these rulebreakers out!” 

Ace started arguing with him as well and the two third years tried to help. Riddle goes on about how he has the highest grades and is the most powerful, which makes him the most correct. This makes Mari’s stomach churn more because of how much he reminds her of her grandmother. Grim says he’s a selfish tyrant who wastes food and ends up getting himself and Deuce collared as well. 

Then they get thrown out by the third years and meet Chenya, who gives them a tip to talk to Trey and unlock Riddle’s tragic backstory. 

And they did. Because it’s always a good idea to listen to the advice of a strange guy who pops into conversations head-first, literally. 

Achievement Unlocked: Riddle’s Backstory Part 1 

Mari’s reaction was that she sympathised with him and understood, considering that her grandmother was somewhat similar. However-- 

“His past is not an excuse for him to be a tyrant. Perhaps that’s harsh of me to say, but I still stand by it. He believes he’s right all the time and fails to notice how miserable the rest of Heartslabyul is.”

Ace put in his two cents and said it was Trey’s fault that he’s like this, dropping a truth bomb on him. Mari agreed and said “Friends help each other to become better people, not allow them to grow worse and worse.” Then he called Trey lame for being afraid of getting his head chopped off. 

Crowley pops up like “STFU THIS IS THE LIBRARY YOU LIL SHITS” and they said he was the loudest so he started whispering “stfu you lil shits”

They explained the situation and he suggested moving dorms but Ace was like “but thats a pussy move” so he suggested fighting Riddle to the death for the position of dorm leader. But without the “to the death” part. Ace and Deuce agreed to challenge Riddle. Grim wanted to go too but Crowley said other people from different dorms can’t so he got sad. 

Timeskip to the match and it was over in less than 5 seconds. Mari told Riddle that he was wrong but then he started mocking her and her family for barely being able to use magic and having a bad education and then called her completely inadequate. She just looked at him blankly considering that she didn’t particularly care about him insulting her or her parents. 

But then Ace punched him for saying that. And Mari was internally like, “I have decided that I love this guy”. Then he went onto this speech about how kids aren’t their parents’ trophies and that it was Riddle’s fault for not making a friend scold him for being a tyrant. He also calls him a baby. But not like the “uwu baby” kinda way, the kind of immature brat kinda way. 

Shit hits the fan and Trey finally had enough and used his unique magic to overwrite Riddle’s to remove the magic-sealing collars. Then Riddle fucking overblots. 

Mari is definitely surprised. Then noticed the creature behind him to look similar to the beast she and the shared brain cell trio fought in the Dwarves’ Mines. So, she steeled herself and ordered the trio to attack Riddle, especially once Crowley said that he’d lose his life if this went for too long. The third years came to help as well while their Headmaster evacuated the other students.

And they beat the shit out of Riddle. Then Mari kinda spaces out again and has this vision of Riddle’s past. This wasn’t the first time she has seen a vision of someone else’s past, but it still confused her. She wasn’t in the Devildom anymore, and she didn’t have magic. 

Achievement Unlocked: Riddle’s Backstory Part 2 

Then she’s shaken back to earth by Ace and he’s like “Oi, don’t space out now, dumbass.” “Did you see that?” “See that Riddle overblotted? How could I not?!” “Nevermind” 

Riddle is crying and she feels bad so she rubs his back. Her motherly instincts get the better of her at this point. He’s surprised at how she’s treating him, considering the only female figure he had in his life was his mother who was strict and harsh. When Ace started yelling at him, she scolded him and told him to yell at him later. 

“Ace, cut him some slack. You can yell at him when he’s recovered. He almost died ffs” “SO DID WE” 

Then he told Riddle to do the Revenge Unbirthday Party. Riddle agreed before Mari and Crowley decided to take him to the infirmary. Since she was gone, Grim got to eat the black rock again. 

While Riddle was recovering from blot, Mari took it upon herself to help him out. He appreciated it a lot. 

After the Revenge Unbirthday Party, Mari thought about her experience so far. The strange dreams, the overblot, the vision. 

Then she remembered something. Before leaving the Devildom, Barbatos pulled her aside and had a talk with her. He held her hand and a faint glow emitted from it before he let her go. “A fragment of my power,” he said. But she didn’t understand what he meant. 

When she slept that night, she saw Belphie and nearly cried because she missed him. Then she explained what happened to her and that she was in Twisted Wonderland. He told her that he’ll inform the others so that they can find a way to get her back, and that she should hang on in the meantime. 

And so she did, unaware that her adventure just begun.

[wadupkev]

WHY I DID 100,000 PUSHUPS IN 365 DAYS

Today, I finished my last day of doing 274 pushups every day, for 365 days in a row, for a grand total of 100,010 pushups. This blog talks about what I learned from the last year. Read if you would like. If not, know that I love you!

Around this time last year, I was feeling a little weird. I had given myself a long time to reflect on Ironman training and had even given my body some of the first real rest it’s had in a long time. But I had just started grad school and was getting back into the routine that is being a student. Setting aside time to get back in the books and study, getting coursework done, working a graduate assistantship, etc. I was starting to get an itch again to be back in the gym. I had started lifting pretty consistently but wasn’t feeling the challenge that was Ironman training. When you decide to take on an Ironman, there is no faking training. Growing up I could have gone outside and done a 5k no problem no training. Ironman was different. It made me commit to pushing through pain every day. It made me commit to a two-year process. It made a kid who was scared of commitment (Need proof? Just ask any of my ex’s or girls I have talked to recently haha), dive into something that would challenge my limits. I had gone from April 28th, 2018, concluding my Ironman journey, to mid-October 2018 without a daily challenge to commit to.

I didn’t have something that needed my attention every day and it felt weird.

I stumbled across an article that talked about some whacko doing something like 5,000 pushups in one sitting or something like that. Uhhh what? Is that even possible? I started thinking about my trip to Europe when my guys and I would drop down and do pushups on the hour every hour from when we woke up to the mid-afternoon. We would do something like 150-200 pushups a day in random places like the Swiss Alps, or a train station in Germany. I have some video footage of pushups on some baller mountains in the Alps. We weren’t super consistent in getting them done because we had other priorities while on the trip. But this got me thinking. If I did pushups every day for a year, what would happen? What would be a goal that would be pretty difficult to reach, but with commitment, consistency and discipline would be something I could do? After some thinking, I decided that 100,000 pushups would be the goal. Not like the crazy guy in one sitting, but over the course of a year. 365 days, 100,000 pushups. That’s 274 pushups every day for one whole year. I thought about this to myself for a couple days. Was it something I could actually commit to? Ha, look at that fear of commitment hopping back up. If it was something I was going to decide to do, it was going to be something that I did.

No excuses, every day, for a year. 😳

I texted some guys about it and got some excited responses. 

I’ve learned that you can’t really announce to the world that you are going to do something before you actually do it. You get a lot of the fulfillment from the reactions of people before you even do anything and you are a lot less likely to actually follow through with whatever it is.

These were people I trusted. Some said they would do it with me, which I was jazzed about. Training for Ironman alone sucked. I knew it would be way easier to do this with someone for accountability. So, I started. October 26th, 2018, I started doing 274 pushups a day. I quickly learned that your body starts to get used to a certain load if you repeat it over and over but the first couple of days were so hard. I was unbelievably sore after two days. The process started with 25 pushups on the hour every hour until I was done. It gave me a great excuse at work in my cubicle to stand up and move around for a little each hour. I committed to increasing the reps per set by 5 every 50 days. So, days 1-50 were 25 at a time. Days 51-100 were 30 at a time, days 301-350 were 55 at a time etc. Over time, I would be doing fewer sets in total, and more pushups at a time. This kept the process fresh enough that I wasn’t getting too bored.

Committing to this though was not easy at the beginning. I would forget about doing pushups throughout the day sometimes and would go to lay down for bed and suddenly remember and have to get up and grind out 200 pushups or something like that. It’s hard to fall asleep after doing a lot of pushups haha. I started to learn the more you can get done in the morning means less worrying in the evening. I started doing one set right when I woke up, then I would get back in bed and do my devotional and respond to the boys, and then get back on the floor and do another set.

But doing something for 365 consecutive days without missing a single day is incredibly hard.

There were days this last year I was sick. It didn’t matter. There were days I would row a raft 20 miles down the Arkansas river. Didn’t matter. There were days I had just carried a pretty heavy backpacking pack for several miles leading a trip in the Colorado backcountry. Didn’t matter. There were days I felt terrible because of too much of a certain drink from the night before. Didn’t matter. There were days I was working from 5am to 10pm. Didn’t matter. I have always been able to make excuses in the past for not doing something, but that’s what everyone does. There’s always a reason as to why someone won’t do something. I wasn’t going to let that be me. Committing to something means not wavering. This challenge has changed the way I commit to things. If I commit, there’s no stopping. I might take my time to commit, but when I do, it’s for good.

My home pastor from years ago, Matt Heard, said one time that there is ALWAYS time for things that are a priority.

This has stuck with me for a long time. If it is a priority, you’ll get it done. If it isn’t a true priority, well you get it.

There were four people I texted every single day for the last year to let them know I had finished the numbers for the day. Every day they got a text from me that read “Got em done”. They can back me up on the fact that I didn’t miss a single day because they are probably super annoyed to have been getting these texts every day. Although most times it was just a continuous stream of me texting them with the same text, every now and then I would get some encouragement from them and boy was it timely. Always positive, always encouraging me to keep going. Because I think they knew it was more than doing a physical challenge.

They knew I would learn something from this. And I sure did.

I learned more about discipline than ever. Most people see discipline as someone who wakes up early every day. Someone who goes to the gym every day. Someone who is consistent in their life. I think all of these things make up a part of discipline no doubt. But I also learned something else. It came from a book on the qualities they teach at West Point, one of which is discipline. Pat Williams in his book Character Carved in Stone talks about discipline, specifically self-discipline, like this.

“Self-disciplined people put miles of distance between themselves and temptation. They don’t put themselves at risk. They don’t flirt with temptation. They flee it­ - repeatedly, habitually, without fail.”

As much as discipline is being consistent in a routine, going to the gym, how you talk, etc., it is even more so your response to temptation. It’s a response to your situation.

Disciplined people flee temptation always. Period.

I am more proud to have learned this lesson than to have done a lot of pushups. It took this challenge though for God to teach this to me. He continues to shape me in ways I don’t see coming and I am so thankful for it. He is preparing me for his plan, for where he has me going after grad school, for a relationship, for a heart ready to serve others and to be a more disciplined person.

Do I still have a long way to go? Absolutely. I fall short every day. I am so thankful for the grace that God has given me and offers to you. If you read my Ironman blog, you know that I think everyone should challenge themselves in some way each year. I am not a big new year’s resolution kind of guy, but if it’s that that will get you doing something hard, then do it. Why not start now though? We are capable of so much as humans and it takes something hard to push us closer to those limits. If there are limits.

Am I going to stop doing pushups now that this is over? Hell ya. I am so sick of thinking about pushups every freaking day. 100,000 pushups are more than most people will do in their life. I am kind of over them to be honest. But this was just the challenge for this year. I will be looking for something for 2020 and it won’t be easy. It doesn’t have to be physical, but it will be a challenge and I am so stoked for it.

I am more stoked for what God teaches me through whatever it is.

Thanks for reading fam. I hope you learned something today. I love you!

[tateelmore95-blog]

9 Scientific Ways To Drop Fat

After 12 weeks, both groups lost about the same amount of fat, but the cardio group also lost 9 pounds of lean body mass, whereas the group that lifted weights didn't lose any.

Healthy Weight LossThere are a lot of fad diets out there that promise to help you drop weight fast—but do they work, and more importantly, are they healthy? The pre-detox is significant in terms of easing the transition to a detox program. If you start your detox without do- ing the pre-detox beforehand, you might feel the detox symptoms” stronger. These symptoms are also called as the healing symptoms” which are general reactions that the body can experience in the first couple of days of the detox such as headaches, dizziness, feeling nauseous, having strange dreams etc. If you arrive to the center without doing the pre-detox, we can apply the green detox programs to help you to do your pre-detox here.

While exercise alone won't seal the deal for weight loss, adding it into your weight-loss plan alongside a healthy, balanced diet can go a long way. Plus, making regular physical activity a part of your routine when you're young can help form the habit into a lifetime intention. You may find it hard to get your 5 A Day of fruit and veg without careful planning. The long story short is the more fat you have to lose, the faster you can safely and healthily lose it. Eugenia Killoran has been the food and fitness journalist for the Pritikin Program since 1992. She has published more than 3,000 articles, lectures, and book chapters on a wide variety of healthy living and weight-loss topics. Ketosis is a state where the body has an extremely high fat-burning rate. Even the brain runs on fat, via ketone bodies. These are energy molecules in the blood (like blood sugar) which become fuel for our brains after being converted from fat by the liver. You can stay on the diet for as long as you want, depending on your weight loss goal. Once reached, you're advised to have 1 meal-replacement shake a day, up to 2 low-fat snacks, and 2 healthy meals. He packs his lunch for work at least four days a week and picks out foods that will keep him satisfied for hours. He stocks up on chicken patties, crunchy vegetables and hummus, as well as guacamole. Theerada.com

If someone does not attend their chosen group or fails to attend the sessions without informing the Healthy Lifestyle Service, they will not be given another voucher and will be discharged from the service.

Self reported physical activity increased between baseline and follow-up in all groups (table 2 ⇑ ). The smallest increase in activity was in those allocated to the general practice arm. When we compared the change in physical activity with that in the comparator group at programme end, only the pharmacy group reported statistically significantly more activity in the unadjusted analysis. At one year follow-up, only participants allocated to Weight Watchers reported more activity than the comparator group, although this was not statistically significant. Those allocated to the general practice arm were doing statistically significantly less physical activity than the comparator group (table 6 ⇓ ). Each treatment can be tailored to the client's weight loss or toning needs; targeting specific areas on their body to help them achieve their goals. The treatments are not only designed for overweight people, but are also well suited to those who are unable to exercise due to medical reasons or busy schedules. Further to this, our program can be used by sportsmen and women to enhance their regular training. Get moving after every meal. After eating, either take a short walk or spend a couple minutes doing air squats and pushups. This activates the GLUT-4 receptors in your skeletal muscles so that more of the food you just ate goes to your muscles, rather than fat stores. I started my career into Modeling & Acting; initially I was slim, but started to put on weight. I was worried that this would impact my career. Kolors helped me with excellent Weight loss solutions. My experience with Kolors has been very good. Thanks to Kolors. By mostly eating these types of foods, you can enjoy more fullness on fewer calories, better stave off hunger and cravings, and avoid nutritional deficiencies that are bad for your health and well-being. Numerous studies show that such a regimen can help you lose 2-3 times as much weight as a standard low-fat diet while also improving your health ( 23 , , ). Over the past few years it has become clear that weight is an important health issue. Some people who need to lose weight for their health don't recognize it, while others who don't need to lose weight want to get thinner for cosmetic reasons. We understand that in some ways your weight is different from, for example, your cholesterol level or your blood pressure, because you can't see what these are by looking at someone. more Many patients have had health care providers who approached their weight in a less-than-sensitive or helpful manner. Some patients may have had health care encounters in which they felt blamed, but not helped. Successful weight management is a long-term challenge. This means that reducing stress is a key component of your weight loss plan. The great news is that by following these 13 keys to weight loss, you will naturally be on the road to reducing stress for good. Changing your diet, staying active and making positive thinking a way of life all mean lower stress levels that last. Keeping weight off is a constant balance, and regular physical activity is a big part of making it last You can't just go really hard one day and think, OK I'm good for a few weeks. Eating healthy and exercising have to become part of life. And they will! Plus, physical activity is about more than just burning off calories. You need to strengthen your muscles, too. (Translation: cardio and strength training.) The cool thing is, muscles use up calories just by existing, so it's only going to help you in the long run to tone up. When you're setting goals, think about both process and outcome goals. "Walk every day for 30 minutes" is an example of a process goal. "Lose 10 pounds" is an example of an outcome goal. It isn't essential that you have an outcome goal, but you should set process goals because changing your habits is a key to weight loss. Check calories on food packaging. It's easier to watch calories and enjoy eating by buying pre-portioned food. 100 calories per bag popcorn, 110 calories per ice cream bar, even snacks in portioned bags allow you to monitor calories and reduce the urge to eat too much. How many calories you burn depends on the frequency, duration and intensity of your activities. One of the best ways to lose body fat is through steady aerobic exercise — such as brisk walking — for at least 30 minutes most days of the week. Some people may require more physical activity than this to lose weight and maintain that weight loss.

Prevention is vital and here at the Medical Weight Loss Center Rochester NY we can help you lose that unwanted weight safely and effectively, even if you are concerned with merely minor weight gain.

Limit added sugars. These are the sugars in cookies, cakes, sugar -sweetened drinks, and other items - not the sugars that are naturally in fruits, for instance. Sugary foods often have a lot of calories but few nutrients. Aim to spend less than 10% of your daily calories on added sugars.

If you tend to turn to food when you're feeling sad, lonely, or stressed, you may be emotionally eating This tendency can very quickly lead to weight gain since your body doesn't need the energy in calories. It's your mind and emotion centers craving a boost. Cooper recommends working to identify your true hunger” and also trying alternatives to eating when you might not be actually craving food. Going outside for a walk, taking a warm, relaxing bath, or reading a book are all excellent solutions to help ease your stress and sadness, without turning to food. Staying fit and active is important for overall health, and can help you to lose excess weight in combination with a balanced diet. Read our top exercise tips for weight loss and learn about the relationship between fitness and fat burning , plus how many calories you'll burn through different activities. While many measure weight loss on the scales, it's also important to measure your waistline. Losing inches off your waist is good for heart health as it reduces the amount of visceral fat (the fat surrounding your liver, pancreas, intestines). But not all shakes and bars are supplemented appropriately (for a low-kilojoule diet) — some are particularly high in sugar, and not suitable when trying to lose weight. Burn more energy as heat. Expose yourself to cold temperatures regularly to make your body burn off more energy as heat. Drink ice water, take cold showers, keep your bedroom cool, or hold an ice pack to your upper back. Eating spicy foods also makes you produce more heat - having a slice of cold cut meat sprinkled with cayenne pepper right before a cold shower can significantly accelerate fat burning. Thus, instead of educating you on how the human metabolism actually works , experts” make up stories about how a single bogeyman—a hormone ( insulin ) or food (carbohydrate), for example—is making you fat, and that all you have to do is eliminate it from your life and the pounds will fall off. We're not talking juice cleanses. Rather, research now shows that a specific type of intermittent fasting, known as fasting-mimicking, can trigger weight loss as well as improve your overall health. People who followed this type of diet plan — where they consumed only 750 to 1,000 calories five days out of each month but otherwise ate normally — lost, on average, six pounds, shed one to two inches of their waistline, and saw both their blood pressure and levels of IGF-1 (a substance linked to increased cancer risk) drop significantly, according to a University of Southern California study published last year. It's also clear from my own and other people's experience treating patients with it that it does not work well for everyone. Some people experience only minimal weight loss. Other people lose a lot more than the additional 12 pounds lost in a recent study - this is only an average. You choose your food from a list of low-fat foods they call "Free Foods" that are generally filling and low in energy, such as fruit, vegetables, pasta, potatoes, rice, lean meat, fish and eggs. These can be eaten in unlimited amounts. To avoid temptation, try to not stock junk food - such as chocolate, biscuits, crisps and sweet fizzy drinks - at home. Instead, opt for healthy snacks, such as fruit, unsalted rice cakes, oat cakes, unsalted or unsweetened popcorn, and fruit juice. Our Nutrition Director, Jen, also recommends skipping the scale altogether, especially in the beginning. Instead, wait until your clothes start fitting more loosely. In the meantime, just focus on getting in touch with your body's hunger and satisfied cues, as well as your energy level. Since you know that eating healthy plant-powered foods, skipping the junk and alcohol, prioritizing sleep and exercising more will get you to your goal, it's helpful to create habits that will support sustainable weight loss and health first. The scale can come later when you know you're moving in the right direction and just need a motivational boost. Adopting a new eating style that promotes weight loss must include lowering your total calorie intake. But decreasing calories need not mean giving up taste, satisfaction or even ease of meal preparation. Food preparation methods that add fat to food, like frying. Sauces made from meat drippings and commercial dressings made with oil and eggs, e.g. mayonnaise (use low-oil dressings).

Macros are important because how your calories break down into protein, carbs, and fat heavily influences your workout performance, body composition , and overall health and well-being.

It sounds like a dream. Helpful sources Keep living like you already do, take a pill a day, and effortlessly lose your excess weight. This is why weight-loss pills is a billion dollar industry. It's important to know how to lose weight the right way from the very start. First tip: You can't just cut calories. Prebiotic foods: These stimulate the growth and activity of some of the good bacteria that aid weight control Prebiotic fiber occurs in many fruits and vegetables, especially chicory root, artichoke, onion , garlic, asparagus, leeks, banana , and avocado. It is also in grains, such as oats and barley. Sometimes an injury ruins your race plans. So you readjust and come back stronger. The same holds true for your diet. A good way to re-examine your strategy is to use a food log (see Rule 5). You might realise you've been hungrier on tough workout days and need an extra snack. Or you might see you've been rushing through lunch and should slow down. Schiller R, Barrager E, Schauss A, Nichols E. A randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled study examining the effects of a rapidly soluble chitosan dietary supplement on weight loss and body composition in overweight and mildly obese individuals. J Am Nutraceutical Assoc 2001;4:42-9. Changing the way you go about eating can make it easier to eat less without feeling deprived. It takes 15 or more minutes for your brain to get the message that you've been fed. Eating slowly will help you feel satisfied. Eating lots of vegetables and fruits can make you feel fuller. Another trick is to use smaller plates so that moderate portions do not appear too small. Changing your eating schedule, or setting one, can be helpful, especially if you tend to skip, or delay, meals and overeat later.

Nobody would argue it's nutritious for the calories it costs your diet and excessive drinking is bad news for your health, but there's no need to lose people from getting healthier by suggesting drinking shouldn't be part of their lives to do so.

[mubal4]

Wrapping It Up – The 4 x 4 x 48 Challenge        

 We are living in unique times.  Interesting way to describe this I guess, but it is unique.  Globally, we have pivoted, adapted, and by this time, created some new normals or at least different ways of doing things.  Likely, some good habits have been formed and some may have gone back to some old tricks 😊!!  I know I have consumed more beer and types of foods over the last two months than “normal.” 😊  It is all good though; based on what I’ve been fortunate enough to see, via social media, Facetiming/Video conferencing with family/friends, or just talking with folks, we’ve been overcoming these “unique” times well.  Although changes have been made, one thing that has remained consistent for me is running.  Overall, in the last 2+ months I don’t believe I am running farther or more. Like most of our lives, I’ve just changed some things up a bit.  Part of that has been due to timing and circumstances with the quarantine and social distancing; some because the type of race I have coming up in July; and part because some shit has just gotten boring to be honest.  So, when I saw this David Goggins Challenge video come across my Twitter feed, it grabbed my attention.

 You can watch the 1-minute video, but it is basically running 4 miles, every 4 hours, for 48 miles.  It was pretty cool how he positioned it too; “if you can’t run, walk; if you can walk; do pushups…….”  It seemed like his intent was to just to get people moving, out of their comfort zone, and adapting to the nonsense.  Since I am training for a 100-miler I thought this would be a great training exercise for a number of reasons.  Obviously, the mile over two days, sleep deprivation, nutrition planning, and one big differentiator, life commitments!!!  In the race, I won’t be thinking about family responsibilities, work, or puppy stuff 😊; it is just left foot, right foot. Since I started this on Thursday afternoon, I still had some conference calls to attend, work commitments, and family stuff so it added a layer.  That said, as it relates to the family commits, Robin, as per usual, and the girls, sacrificed a ton, not only with dinners and puppy stuff, but, at least for Robin, sleep too.  Thursday and Friday nights, I headed out at 1030pm and 230am.  The first session each night, Robin was just about headed to bed but at 230am she was sleeping, and I tried to be as quiet as possible, for her, as well as for the puppy too 😊.  It was nice to hear on Saturday morning once she woke up that that nights 230am session, she didn’t even hear me leave or come back.  Guess all these years doing these crazy things it is good her mind is at ease while I run around Phoenix at 230 in the morning 😊😊😊!! That all said, none of this really came to mind when Robin and I discussed doing it.  All I thought was 4 miles, every 4 hours, for 48 miles? I can do that!!  So, at 230pm on Thursday, we got things started, easy peasy and session 2 at 630pm was awesome with a sunset, late afternoon run; I was in my happy place.  All good.  Got back and had a quick dinner (I will get into the nutrition in a moment) and we all were just chilling on the couch.  Now, typically, Robin and I are toes up in bed by 10pm so, as my body clock was telling me, right around 945pm I started dozing a bit on the couch; fortunately, I had an alarm set just in case.  But the thing was, I was setting an alarm for 1010pm to go out and run 4 miles at 1030pm. Needless to say, as I was tying my shoes, my comment to Robin, “why the hell did I commit to this; this is f#$%ing stupid.”  She wished me a “have a good run, I will be sleeping when you get back.” 😊  The thoughts of feeling sorry for myself were quickly gone as soon as I started session number 3 and the night air, cooler temps, and darkness provided a different perspective to my run.  I wanted to run around our area of town just to see what was happening, if there was anything happening.  Out here in AZ, the stay at home orders are being lifted and there are a couple of restaurants/bars I would be running by so I was intrigued to say the least.  There were still a few folks out walking at that time and traffic was light; however, this one bar, about 1 mile from our house, was packed.  I guess the regulars were just waiting for things to be lifted.  I went by again on Friday nights 1030pm run too and same deal. I giggled a bit but it also gave me a sense of relief that maybe things are working toward “normal.” Also, won’t lie, a beer sounded good at that time.

 This is where adapting needed to happen because my body and internal clock was not going to be used to these next 30 or so hours.  Running the initial 12 miles from 230pm through 1030pm wasn’t much out of the realm of my comfort zone.  Now, I was getting home at 11pm, trying not to wake up Robin and the dog (the girls were still up doing what teenage girls do at that time 😊), getting fluids in, getting cleaned up, and getting things ready for 230am…….& hopefully trying to get sleep.  Well, I was a bit amped up from the run so I thought that sleep was going to be tough.  I got cleaned up, got plenty of water in me, and then figured I would watch some TV to put me to bed.  Well, that worked, and I fell right asleep and woke up about 90 minutes later.  Interestingly getting up at this moment and getting out was much easier than at 1030pm. Not sure why but it was.  The run, however, was a bit weird and at both 230am sessions.  I kept these 2 runs close to the house around this 1.35-mile loop.  I didn’t want to stray to for, well, since it is 230am. On the first loop, Thursday, I guess this would be Friday morning, I first heard a rooster crowing!!  Yep, a rooster – we don’t live near any farmland.  On the second loop, I heard what I thought was a leaf blower…..@ 230am?  What the hell?  Then, the most interesting thing happened on the last loop.  I was on this one road, drive it daily, and I white SUV pulls out of a side street.  Okay, at that time of night, could be going to work, coming back, whatever.  They pull out but just turnaround and head back where they came.  My first thought was that maybe they were scouting out homes/cars to break into or something or, maybe they were just drunk.  No big deal. I finished up the run and went home; didn’t think about it.  However, 24 hours later, on that same loop at that same time, same car, same spot, pulls out, now we are going towards one another, it stops…………I kept running, faster now and find a dark spot on the road, click off my headlamp and stop. The car was already moving but then did the same thing, u-turn in the middle of the road.  This was a bit freeky man and it was on my first loop too. I was running by there two more times. Holy shit right!!  Well, nothing happened but it was just some weird stuff. I told Robin yesterday afternoon that I was going to go up there all next week at 230am, dressed in all black and see what happens 😊.  

 That was pretty much the only excitement of the event.  Back to Friday morning, since the nature of this event, getting time on the trails was difficult but did go out at 630am Friday.  Got on the trail, got some climbing in and it was a beautiful day. Stopped to take a shot of the trails from the top that I shared above.  Also was able to get out on the trails Friday night and Saturday morning.  Friday night I was able to meet a nice rattlesnake too!!! By “meet” I mean he was on the side of the trail and scared the poop out of me.  I never did see him, just heard him.  Not sure if I would rather face the white SUV or the rattler?  The remaining sessions were all, pretty much, uneventful; just getting them done and keep moving forward.  Overall, it was a great challenge and believe awesome training on many fronts. Although there wasn’t much climbing, it did offer a number of different layers that will definitely help come July. Want to again thank Robin and the girls for all the support, sacrifice, and help they provide me during these nutty things I do.  All the folks that reached out via text, calls, or the FB live sessions, thank you very much.  Very inspirational and you guys helped keep me going.  

 Haven’t been much into statistics and stuff when it comes to these kinds of things.  Hell, up until January I was still using my 20+ year old Ironman stopwatch but Robin got me this Garmin one for Christmas and it has been fun to sort of geek out with it.  So, for those that may be interested, I am providing some “noticings” from the 4x4x48 event.  Thanks again for keeping me going and following along 😊!!

 ·         Started at 230pm 5/14 and ended at 1059am 5/16 – total hours = 44.5-ish!  

·         Total miles = 48.7

·         Total running time = 433 minutes (7 hrs 13 mins) – thought this was interesting that it was an exact number.  Zero seconds after added up 😊

·         Average pace = 8:53 (36:05 average for each 4ish mile session

·         Total Vert = 1186

·         Sleep = approximately 5 hours total

·         9 shirts & 7 pairs of shorts (yep – reused shorts – easy to do when you jump in the pool after a run), 12 pairs of socks, 3 different pairs of running shoes

·         Food intake – 2 strawberry/banana milkshakes, 2 peanut butter/banana Clif bars, 2 apples, 1 grilled cheese, 2 hummus tortilla wraps, approximately a half a box of regular Cheeze-itz (original flavor), couple handfuls of peanut butter pretzels, 1 double expresso Clif bar gel

[nanyoky]

ALL of the numbers for Wanda and for Pietro

OMG THIS IS SO LONG I TOOK FOREVER. I did a mix of canon and au, especially where canon limits the answers.

1.  What does their bedroom look like? Shared one until the bombings, very sparse - parents didn’t have much money. Then homeless until post - ultron.

Wanda: We see wanda’s avengers compound room In cw but I… don’t…. like… many things about that movie so - let’s say more cramped and closed off. Even if given a larger, open space I feel Wanda would fill it in an eclectic way. She nests like no other. When you’re not used to a set space being your own, it’s exciting and novel to surround yourself with things and images of your choosing. She goes to thrift stores and garage sales and collects just dumb things that she likes just because she CAN.

Pietro: Canon: hasn’t ever had his own. Nice happy everybody lives au: pretty plain, but nice. More stylish than people might expect. Some spillover of wanda’s possessions. Entire half of the walk in closet is devoted to sneakers.  2.  Do they have any daily rituals?

Wanda: Definitely a tea drinker, at LEAST in the morning and before bed.

Pietro: Not quite compulsive, but he actually falls into routine very fast. In the city, he had a circuit he would travel with things to do along the way- taking food, talking to people from the tent city, taking necessities, scoping out new places to sleep so they did not use one single place too often, checking in on the occupying soldiers’ movements, harassing police officers on duty, etc.  3. Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often?

Wanda: Not before the Avengers. Now she does, but grudgingly. It helps when the others point out the more varied her skills are, the more people she can help.

Pietro: He always ran, even before they got their powers. Somewhere in their teens, he started doing simple exercises like pushups and situps when they were bored because he thought people wouldn’t hassle them as much if he looked tougher. With the Avengers, he gets bored with all the training- routine that he doesn’t define himself. But he appreciates being able to to something he’s good at. 4. What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy?

Wanda: She checks with her mind before going into any shared living space. If she doesn’t mind company, she’ll still come in and cook alongside whoever is there or share their food. If she’s not feeling up to it, she will wait.

Pietro: Uses his speed to work around anyone in there, which is annoying exactly 100% of the time 5.  Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.) 

Wanda: Organized chaos, for sure. Long bath goblin. We’re talking multiple hours here. Candles and music and a book and maybe even snacks in there.

Pietro: Neat and contained out of necessity for a long time. But the more comfortable he is, the more likely he is to be cluttered and messy. The team starts getting annoyed when he begins to leave his shoes and hoodies everywhere, but those of them good at reading human behavior (natasha, sam, clint) notice the pattern and guess why. 6.  Eating habits and sample daily menu

Wanda: Long time not knowing where their next meal was coming from means she eats when and whatever she can. Living in the compound is an adjustment, but she starts getting more discerning and learns what she actually likes an doesn’t like.  Sam introduced her to lemon bars and she ate a whole pan and then threw up one time she knew it was coming but they were just SO GOOD.

Pietro: Everything. So much. People know his powers include increased metabolism, but they don’t really GET IT. Steve will go to order pizza like “so you think 20 is good for all of us I know you eat a lot” and he’s just like “20 for me” “haha- right” “No. you don’t understand. You will all starve.” But he also has the terrible habit of eating too fast (surprise surprise) and makes himself sick. 7.  Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time

Wanda: Definitely a “no time you enjoyed spending is wasted” type person. She loves to read and do her nails and listen to music.

Pietro: wasting time makes him anxious- unless it’s quiet time with Wanda. But even that is up for criticism if it lasts too long. He won’t complain to her, but he gets restless and fidgety until she tells him to go do something to get him to calm down.

8.  Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging 

They used to smoke sometimes in Sokovia- mostly when it was cold and they had to sleep outside. They don’t anymore, but sometimes get a craving they have to try to replace with something else.

Wanda: Collecting things like jewelry and decorations for her room. And sweets. Fancy looseleaf tea. 

Pietro: Doesn’t really think of things as indulgences. He does what he wants or needs and then moves on. 9.  Makeup? 

Wanda: Loves it. Feels stupid and underprepared for her day without it.

Pietro: Doesn’t like it on himself, but helps Wanda with hers. 10.  Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such?

Woah boy. Can you say holy codependency batman? I don’t think either of the twins could ever get over this. Canon universe, I think grieving Pietro is going to be a lifelong process for Wanda. There’s just no way she can ever “move on” from the loss of him. Au- I think they could both work on some of their other issues and relax enough to form relationships outside of one another, but the codependency would never go away. They would still bounce back to “no one matters but us” the moment they are threatened. Neither of them will likely ever see this as a problem. They recognize that others do though, which only feeds into their “no one understands” complex.

They both have phobias and ptsd from their chidlhood traumas. Mostly these show as little things, but on a bad day, can be an issue. Claustrophobia and being tethered or incapacitated during crisis are always issues. Typical stuff like night terrors crop up regularly.

 11. Intellectual pursuits?

Their formal education ended at 10- as they skipped out on the foster system out of fear they would be separated. They would often spend time in the city’s library, as it was one of the few places that wouldn’t kick them out for not buying anything.

Wanda insisted they learn English. She thought it would come in useful on their mission to kill Stark. She also likes reading, though mostly fiction.

Pietro struggled with learning English because he’s easily frustrated and hates feeling stupid. He reads well when he finds something that interests him, but very rarely has the patience to sit and read for long periods of time. 12. Favorite book genre?

Wanda: Gothic romance and horror. Bronte, Shelley, Morrison, Jackson, some O’Connor.

Pietro: Would rather ask Wanda to read aloud whatever she’s reading than pick his own. He likes them though- particularly things with dry shows of humor and scathing judgements of social norms. He keeps his love of Vonnegut quiet, as Wanda can’t stand him. 13. Sexual Orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general?

((we already talked about this a bit))

Wanda: I waffle on this depending on the story I’m telling. My two favorite Wanda sexualities are Bi!Wanda and Ace!Wanda. Like hard ace. Zero interest. Not repulsed, just uncomfortable with the idea of sex in relation to herself and her own body. Not particularly educated about different sexualites. Probably didn’t know there was a word for being asexual until much later in life.

Pietro: I love my dead bi son. Ditto above on education. But definitely observant enough to know differing preferences aren’t all that unusual.

Both of them don’t talk about sexuality much- not in a private or “i don’t like labels” kind of way, just in a “if i want to have sex with you, you will know. and if I don’t, then it’s not likely to come up” kind of way. 14. Physical abnormalities?  (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.) 

They both have faded, but still note-worthy scars from the bombing rubble. Wanda low key never has bare legs and Pietro never goes sleeveless.

15. Biggest and smallest short term goal?

Wanda: Depending on what part of canon or au we’re talking about, could be variations on “get through the week” and “make pietro smile”

Pietro: Always “get through the week” and “Make wanda smile.”

16. Biggest and smallest long term goal?

Before AoU, both of them had the goal of living long enough to kill Tony. Smallest would have been “find out what to do after.”

17. Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dress

I wrote a big long rant about the twins’ costuming/character design once this is MY JAM.

Wanda: Woah boy does she love her clothes. She loves collecting new pieces that she can layer. Jewelry is a must. She feels naked and vulnerable without it. Loves the aesthetic of fashion but doesn’t think much about how her body looks in it. Feels weirdly self conscious in light colors.

Pietro: comfort is #1, but it is not his lone concern. Almost opposite of Wanda- pretty bland aesthetic tastes, but likes how he looks in some things over others. Low key very aware that warm colors wash him out. Used to wear charms from their mother around his wrists or neck but they’ve all since been lost or broken or stolen. Wanda pierced one of his ears when he helped her do hers, but he rarely wears anything in it. (There was a shot in aou where pietro turns his head and you can see Aaron Taylor Johnson has a pierced ear and it just struck me as a very accurate twin scene like *smol Wanda holds up a needle and a handful of snow* “come pietro - were pierce our ears now” “nice.”)

18. Favorite beverage?

Wanda: Teateatea always tea.

Pietro: Constantly hydrating. Metabolism thing.

19. What do they think about before falling asleep at night?

Wanda: Long term plans. Starts with what she has to do the next day, the next week, the next month, etc. Doesn’t always help her sleep though.

Pietro: Short term plans. All the things he wants to get done the next day/should be getting done instead of sleeping. Almost never helps him sleep.

20.  Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?

Occasional illnesses as children. After the bombings they both got sick on the street a lot. Pietro would always try to steal a wallet and get a hotel room whenever they were ill. Or at least befriend someone enough to stay with them.

21.  Turn-ons? Turn-offs?

Wanda: Ons: Tall men, women with curly hair, good tattoos, slow hands on her thighs, neck kisses, leaving marks with her teeth and nails, wall/counter sex, drunk/buzzed sex, the low-key voyeurism of whispering dirty things in public, slow, passionate makeouts that slowly and steadily build into faster and rougher sex. Offs: fetishizing innocence/inexperience (certain guys think her stockings are a sign of being into a schoolgirl vibe but any type of age roleplay is a hard stop for her), her partner setting the pace without give and take, being called “cute” or “sweet,” having her hair pulled, anyone who dislikes pietro.

Pietro: Ons: men’s forearms, curvy women, and…. a… few fetishes… biting, hair pulling/playing, drunk/buzzed sex, basic restraints, oral fixation but most of all PRAISE KINK and he doesn’t want to talk about it not at all don’t bring it up please for the love of god don’t make it A Thing. Sam wants to talk about it Sam Wilson wants to talk about it a lot.  Offs: people who think sexual intimacy means affection is now acceptable, being laughed at, people who think they’ve “figured him out,” anyone who dislikes wanda. 

22. Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?

Wanda: vague doodles. Patterns and motifs. Sometimes lists and plans, but most of that is mental.

Pietro: little mini comics that will make wanda laugh. (during team meetings he draws little stick!steve and stick!tony arguing and the scene gets more and more elaborate until stick!stony makeouts happen and wanda just fucking loses it in the middle of tony discussing new tech.)

23.  How organized are they? How does this organization/disorganization manifest in their everyday life?

Wanda: Organized to herself. Clutter that only she understands. No one can find anything in her room if they need to, but she knows exactly where everything is.

Pietro: Very simple and organized, but he is That Guy who has The Chair or The Drawer where things kind of build up until he doesn’t remember what’s all on/in there.

24.  Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all?

Wanda: loves literature and language.

Pietro: is a better storyteller than a writer. Wanda says there’s no difference but he disagrees.

After his death she tries writing down some of his stories but he was right.

25.How do they see themselves 5 years from today?

pre ultron: dead. Both of them.

Post: Wanda just keeps trying to find more things she can do to help others and make amends. Pietro would join her if he were alive.

26.  Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout?

Kinda the same as above. No real back up - they will either succeed or die.

27. What is their biggest regret?

pre ultron: not being able to help their parents and not realizing what the true nature of the SHIELD facility was until it was too late.

Wanda in post aou: every single thing about that day.

28.  Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?

Friend - each other.

Enemy: Tony until post ultron, then they wouldn’t really know. Part of the experience of it all is learning things aren’t as simple as friends and enemies.

29. Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?)

Of course, as children, their instinct was to stick together and hide. As adults, pietro handles any immediate danger, and looks to Wanda for the plan once there is a moment.

30.  Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies)

They didn’t have time to grieve their parents. Wanda screamed for days after sokovia, then was basically catatonic for weeks. In a nice au… I don’t know. If they started getting close to others, then lost someone, I think pietro would get anxious and want to do something, while Wanda would close off and try to keep him close to her.

31. Most prized possession?

Wanda has the jewelry and clothes that Pietro stole from her. She likes mixing up her wardrobe, but those ones are special.

Pietro doesn’t keep much long enough for it to be “prized.” He keeps track of things very well, but once its outlived its use its gone. He still feels guilty about the charms though, and if any had survived, he would take special care of them.

32. Thoughts on material possessions in general?

They both feel they should not get too attached because they have lived so long only keeping what they can carry, but that has also meant they are very protective of the things they have.

33. Concept of home and family? 

Each other. Always. They did feel a sense of home and loyalty to their city, which is part of the reason they never tried to leave.

34.  Thoughts on privacy? (Are they a private person, or are they prone to ‘TMI’?)

Wanda: Wanda is very private. Part of the reason is that she realizes how much of oneself is constructed deliberately due to her powers and natural knack for perception. So she likes giving people as little to work with as possible. It gives her a sense of control. However, she is more likely to feel close enough to someone to tell them things that she wouldn’t tell strangers. Whereas....

Pietro: Private about some things, VERY blunt about others. Sort of the opposite of how most people might be. He’s the one to tell the story of their parents’ deaths, every time. And ah- certain subjects don’t make him uncomfortable. Ex: one time, bruce and helen set the whole team of enhanced avengers down to talk about different aspects of their abilities for their records and when it was Pietro’s turn- “I eat a lot, I’m fast, I don’t need to piss as much as you’d think from how much i hydrate? so that’s nice. I heal fast, don’t seem to bruise  from blunt impact, oh- and my refractory period is like- 30 seconds.” and everyone just “.....kay”

And of course, they have no secrets from each other. Zero sense of privacy between the two of them- like how they share a personal bubble.

35.  What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time?

Wanda: Like I said, doesn’t see things she likes as a waste of time- that is, unless there is currently something she can actively do to meet a goal. But she values planning time and that can be done while doing the things she enjoys.

Pietro: Flirting. He is a hopeless flirt (see deleted scenes from aou) and enjoys it, but honeslty he thinks it’s kind of silly. Either someone is into you or they’re not. Flirting is like the “how are you? say hi to your mom” of sex.

36.  What makes them feel guilty?

Before Ultron: Nothing but their parents.

After: everything.

37.  Are they more analytical or more emotional in their decision-making?

Wanda: both. Her emotions fuel her, but she’s too practical to go with the first plan that pops into her head. she feels she owes it to the validity of her anger and guilt to take the best course of action.

Pietro: definitely emotional. He analyzes just enough not to make things immediately worse, then acts.

38.  Would they consider themselves a Type A or Type B personality? 

Wouldn’t know what that is.

Post AoU, Wanda reads more about psychology to help understand how her powers work. Once she comes across this, she’s educated enough to know how simplistic and meaningless it is.

39.  What recharges them when they’re feeling drained?

Time together.

Post AoU Wanda: Time alone. Doing something that makes her feel like herself like drinking tea or painting her nails.

40.  Would you say that they have a superiority-complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither?

Wanda: Bit of both, but leaning more towards superiority. But it’s less superiority, more utter confidence and faith in herself- even when misplaced.

Pietro: Bit of both, leaning towards inferiority. Scared he’s not enough to protect wanda or get them what they want.

41.  How misanthropic are they? 

Can be a weird mix. They hate what people are capable of doing to one another, which comes from the empathy of seeing themselves and others hurt. 

42.  Hobbies?

Wanda: the reading, fashion pursuits, etc. With the team, she’s gotten to try more things like cooking and music.

Pietro: He feels good when he’s running. Not even to speed. Just running is something he’s good at and he likes doing things he’s good at.

43.  How far did they get in formal education? What are their views on formal education vs self-education?

(am i going crazy i feel like i answered some of these like four times)

Their formal education ended at age 10. Skipped out on the foster system and the attached public ed.

44.  Religion?

Their father was jewish, but somewhere about halfway between “observant” and “christmas tree jewish.” After the bombings, they have almost no residual faith and a pretty antagonistic attitude toward organized religion.

45.  Superstitions or views on the occult?

Their mother was Romni and used to give them charms and things to carry for luck and protection. She herself took the customs only vaguely seriously and just followed most out of cultural tradition more than anything. Wanda thought it was all very serious and magical when they were young, but after the bombings refuses to talk about it. As previously stated, Pietro used to carry the charms very carefully, but they didn’t have any on them when they were pulled out of the rubble and he tries to act like it doesn’t bother him that they don’t continue on with the traditions, but it does. He hasn’t told Wanda (she knows anyway), but he found a holed stone a year after their parents’ deaths, but lost it immediately. He still thinks it was a sign he’s meant for bad luck.

46.  Do they express their thoughts through words or deeds?

Wanda: speaks for the two of them, most often. Except when it comes to sharing stories. That’s where Pietro steps in. 

Pietro: Makes Wanda’s will into action. Usually leaves the talking to her.

47. If they were to fall in love, who (or what) is their ideal?

Wanda: Someone who doesn’t necessarily understand her, but does not seek to unravel or change her. She might have a tendency to desire partners who are possibly too passive when it comes to her. This prevents her from healthy relationships a lot. She has no patience for criticism, no matter if it is about somethign superficial, or about something genuinely concerning, like her self-destructive tendencies.

Pietro: Tends to confuse what he wants, which ends messily every time. He doesn’t consciously want a serious commitment, but unconsciously sort of... expects it? This goes one of two ways- his partner takes the relationship seriously and he doesn’t, which means he is callous and flippant with them OR his partner doesn’t take things seriously and he’s frustrated and hurt that he is such a minor event in someone else’s life.

The twins are... not good at dating.

HOWEVER, given the opportunity post aou, I think they would both try to improve their empathy and interpersonal skills a little better. Wanda would do well with someone who actively encourages her to express herself and step outside of her own head, but doesn’t get pushy. Pietro would do well with someone conscientious, but who would also coax him not to take himself so seriously.

48. How do they express love?

With one another: Protectiveness. The way Pietro always has his back, but Wanda is always standing between him and known danger. Physical affection/their shared personal bubble.

With befriending the rest of the team, they would struggle for a time. But eventually Wanda starts making two cups of tea when someone else is in the kitchen with her and Pietro starts smiling, just a little, at their jokes instead of rolling his eyes.

49. If this person were to get into a fist fight, what is their fighting style like?

Wanda: It’s not exactly speed that’s her strong point, she’s just ABRUPT. even before the experiments, she was very good at reading people and situations. She can tell when a fight is inevitable, and once diffusion is no longer an option, she will strike first and not fast, not stopping to let anyone get their footing. Dirty fighting. Knees and nails and big jagged rings.

Pietro: Big surprise- fast. But also very- full bodied. I love the way that with his speed, Pietro’s attacks in aou are mostly just “run into robot so fast it just falls apart.” I feel like that’s not just the powers, but also how he does things. Just kind of throws himself at/on people and hits with anything he’s got. Fast and dirty. No kidney or testicle is safe.

50. Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not?

Wanda: Pre aou: not if it’s together. Post: no. Would be somewhat of a relief. Finally going home after a long day. Wherever she’s going, it’s the same place as Pietro.

Pietro: Yes yes oh god yes.

[aristocratlegacy]

The Aristocrat Bachelorette Challenge: Meet And Greet

The Aristocracy Chapter Forty Three: Lonely Hearts Club

Roscoe: Hey, Bea- I saw your latest youtube vid and it was ah-MAZING!

Beatrice: “Oh thanks, man. That Barista totally had it coming.

Roscoe: “I don’t doubt it. I have just one question for you- do you want to find true love?

Beatrice: “Excuse me? Are you hitting on me? Because that is so not ok.”

Roscoe: “God, no, of course not. I have been hired to find the star of my network’s newest off-brand Bachelorette!”

Beatrice: “You want me to be on it? Star? On television? Not just youtube? You’re gonna make me a star?”

Roscoe: “Ok, you might be getting a little ahead of yourself there, but you’re interested?”

Beatrice: “Hell yes I am!”

*2 Months Later*

Day 1: Meet and Greet

Beatrice: “Hi guys! I’m Beatrice Aristocrat, scion of a wealthy family, an internet celebrity, basically the whole package. But even though I’m a spectacularly accomplished woman, there’s one thing I have yet to master, that’s it. Love.”

Beatrice: “You see, as I came into adulthood, I dated a lot of guys, but couldn’t decide which one would be best to marry. Who would make my babies pretty? Who’s the best at woohoo? Which one won’t mind that I’m the worst girl in any room that I’m in? These are questions that I need answered before I settle down.”

Beatrice: “Am I nervous? Please, you ask that live I’ve ever been nervous in my entire life. Of course I’m not nervous, those guys out there, they should be nervous. I envy them, getting to meet me for the first time. That’s  feeling I’ll never know.”

Beatrice: “Do I want to see some info about the guys before I go out there? Pfft, why bother- like anybody's watching for them anyway. But sure, if you like. Let’s meet the contestants!”

Jaxson Jonson- Unemployed, Plays Guitar

“I’m Jaxson, and I  I’ve got 2 cats, and I think you’re Purrfect!”

Chip Strong- The strongest guy at his gym

“I’m Chip, I’m the strongest guy I know, I’m a contractor- can I nail you?”

Sergio Romeo- Telemarketer, self-proclaimed nice guy

“I’m Sergio- I haven’t even met her yet, but I can already say with 100% certainty that Beatrice is my soulmate.”

Akira Kibo- Thinks a man bun replaces a personality

“I’m Akira- I’m in IT, so I’ll hook you up, then hook up with you!”

Lorne Post- Mixologist, Jazz Hands Enthusiast

“I’m Lorne! I’m a bartender, and I find you intoxicating.”

Diego Lobo- Art Critic, Constantly Quotes Oscar Wilde

“Hey baby! I’m Diego! Can I buy you a drink, or should I just give you the cash straight up?”

Johnny Zest- “Future Celebrity”, Funny once you get to know him

“I’m Johnny- I’m a comedian, though some people would call me a waiter. My burger was great, but YOU are rare and well-done at the same time.”

Sergio: “I just cannot wait until she gets here.”

Me: “The camera’s off you don’t have to say things like that anymore.”

Chip: “Hey, who is the girl again? I heard she was some kind of celebrity?”

Lorne: “I think she’s that girl in the clickbait youtube videos.”

Sergio: “Oh.”

Johnny: “Yikes.”

Beatrice: “Hey there boys! I have finally arrived, the new object of your affections. I’m Beatrice.”

Akira: “Hey there, beautiful.”

Beatrice: “You look very trendy, how long did it take to do your hair this morning?”

Akira: “Oh I was braiding all night long, baby.”

Beatrice: “Wow, you’re awfully...strong, aren’t you?”

Chip: “It’s mostly due to my workout routine and all these protein shakes I drink every day. Hey have you ever heard about Crossfit?”

Beatrice: “Wow yeah really interesting, wanna make out? Can I see your abs?.”

Chip: “Naw, babe, you gotta work to earn these muscles.”

Diego: “May I cut in?”

Beatrice: “Uh, yeah, sure.”

Chip: “No worries, I’ll just do some pushups.”

Diego: “I am a very important art critic. I hear you're a blogger?”

Beatrice: “Cool, me too.”

Diego: “What?”

Beatrice: “I’m sorry, were you saying something?”

Beatrice: “And what about you?  Your pants remind me of my dad’s, I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing-”

Jaxson: “Alas! But your voice is nye as sweet as your face, but alas the words that come out are nought but rambling!”

Beatrice: “Rude, first of all. Second of all- oh he got up.”

Beatrice: “Hi, nice to meet me. Its Sergio, isn’t it?”

Sergio: “Oh, yeah, sure.”

Beatrice: “What is the deal with this turnout, right? Aren’t we all psyched to be on tv? Guys?”

Akira: “Your eyes are beautiful.”

Beatrice: “Thanks.”

Beatrice: “This isn’t really going as well as I thought it would.”

Lorne: “Hey, Serg, can you guys canoodle somewhere else? I haven’t gotten any time with her yet.”

Lorne: “Those to sure were hitting it off.”

Beatrice: “I have no idea what you’re talking about, everybody here is already in love with me.”

Lorne: “It’s surprising, most guys would kill to fall for a girl so pretty?”

Beatrice: “Aw, I’m so glad you noticed.”

Beatrice: “So, let me get this straight, you’re a standup comic?”

Johnny: “Well, I only did it once, but I quit my job to pursue my passion.”

Beatrice: “But you’ve only actually performed once?”

Johnny: “Correct.”

Beatrice: “Next you’re gotta tell me that you’re wealthy in spirit.”

Beatrice: “Alright everybody! Times up! Go and get ready for the first rose ceremony!

Beatrice: “We’ve all been through a lot together over the last half an hour, and I’m starting to feel like I really know you. All of you, blanket term. Unfortunately, one of you will have to go home, and will not be getting any of this.”

Beatrice: “The first rose I’d like to give is to Lorne, who kept complimenting me, which is pretty much all that it takes to win me over.”

Lorne: “It’s so hot the way you say that.”

Beatrice: “You won me over with your sophistication, so this rose is for….”

Beatrice: “Jaxson”

Jaxson: “Damn right.”

Beatrice: “Now I come to you, Sergio, I really like you, but what I don’t like is giving other people flowers. I’m afraid that you won’t have what it takes to pamper somebody as high-maintenance as I am.”

Sergio: “Well then...what if  I gave you a rose?”

Beatrice: “Presents! That’s much better!”

Beatrice: “And Chip, handsome, handsome, Chip. Do you have anything for me?”

Beatrice: “A rose! What a surprise! I certainly wasn’t expecting that!”

Chip: “But...you just handed it to me and said to give it back? Are you feeling ok?”

Beatrice: “Moving on.”

Beatrice: “Diego, you seem like kind of a dick, but you have way more money than everybody else here, and I have a lot of respect for that.”

Beatrice: “So this is for you. Sike! This one is still mine. I mean, you’re staying, fuck- just, just take the rose and give it back to me.”

Diego: “Here you go.”

Beatrice: “Oh! Thank you so much!”

Beatrice: “I only have 1 rose left and I want to give it...to Johnny.”

Johnny: “Aw shucks, thank ya puddin”

Beatrice: “And that Brings me to you, Akira. Looks like you’ll never get to see what’s under this dress, sorry for you loss. Later!”

----

That’s all for now! Remember to like/reblog and leave a comment if you enjoyed it!

[volleyboys-imagines]

Maybe a headcanon post of the captains and pets?

omigosh i have literally been waiting for an ask like this since i started bless you anon im sorry if this was late, it’s midterms week!! ||

it’s long, so have fun under the cut!

Sawamura:

German Shepherd, Captain

@faiyuuhi has the Fireman!AU with all the pets and Daichi with Captain was just perf.

I mean, ever since I had this prompt in my head I’ve always been able to see Daichi with a German Shepherd: they’re dependable, loyal, hardworking, smart. But Faiyuuhi just did it so well with her book, I fell in love with the idea even more ❤

Daichi got Captain in college on a whim because he felt lonely and his neighbor was a really good friend that felt owed Daichi so much

So Daichi got a two-month-old German Shepherd

^which he really didn’t know what to name for a while

^but he really wanted to use the name ‘Captain’, and it just kind of stuck

He and Captain go on walks and morning runs together, play catch in the park, do coordinated tricks, even work out at home together (since pets weren’t really allowed to be in the gym)

until ofc the manager at the local gym he works out in saw him running in that park in gym shorts and black tank and says ‘so that’s where he disappears to’ bc he really loves being with Captain so much

and she allows Captain to go to the gym (considering he’s housetrained ofc) and eventually becomes the gym mascot c:

On the topic of tricks, Daichi once brought Captain to the park to practice tricks, and he got an audience that filmed him and his dog

He went a little viral in Miyagi for his ‘Hot Guy and Amazing Dog!!!! AWESOME TRICKS’ or smth like that, and every now and then he does shows in the park

^ after which some spectators offer money for his time

^ now he sets a small box for Captain’s treat budget for extra effort :)

Daichi hates brushing sessions the most, especially during shedding season. 

^and when Captain just shakes his fur out in the middle of the thing omigod

^that is the reason why Daichi hates his carpeted apartment

I didn’t mean to ship Captain with Harper, which came out of nowhere, but why not have some fluff hcs about them

When they’re tired from walks, they snuggle together in a mass of black, brown, red and white fur

Snoot booping. Snoot booping everywhere

Lots of tail wagging, esp when they look at each other

Captain’s pretty shy around Harper, and ducks his head when she runs for him the next time they meet, but really, really likes giving her kisses

They don’t meet when she’s in heat, and they meet on a regular basis when she’s not. Captain looks forward to the meetings and knows what time it is, so when Daichi doesn’t look like he’s bringing Captain to meet with Futakuchi and Harper, he starts barking and howling for her :’(

Oikawa:

Japanese Bobtail, Maenki (maen-ki)

I guess a lot of people would pair his flamboyance with a Persian (which is long-haired and floofy and just screams c l a s s y ) but a long-haired Persian requires daily grooming. Considering this boy’s busy vbc + acads schedule, I don’t think that’s going to work

So I read around since I don’t own a cat, and saw that the Japanese Bobtail would be best over my original idea of having a Scottish Fold

They’re healthy, colorful, and easy to care for, but at the same time affectionate and really great companions.

Oikawa got his at about five months old, a pretty mostly-white tabby calico mix girl with yellow eyes

Her white spots are big, and look like petals dappling her fur, really pretty ❤

He’s wanted one since he saw a Manekineko and read about the folklore too

Later as I was doing this draft I was thinking about my cousin misspelling things, and when she was trying out ‘Manekineko’, she spelled it as ‘Maenkineko’. The Maenki part stuck, since the above hc is that Oikawa likes the Manekineko. :)

He learns that she can ‘talk’, which are mostly chirps and meows strung together

and now when he talks to her, she knows how to respond. Like greeting her good morning earns him her own greeting that, through time, he recognizes as her ‘good morning’ reply

At night, when he can’t call Iwa-chan or Makki or Mattsun, he talks to her, and they have conversations that last hours

She keeps up with his active lifestyle too. Like he does pushups at home and she bats his nose with a paw, or sits on his back

Sometimes he jogs around the street their house is in and she follows

And she’s extra smart too: like she can find the ball in cups, find her ball, etc

She also loves boxes, and will get into anything she can fit into

So he keeps all his boxes closed, and has one especially for her

she doesn’t even touch her furry cat bed, sadly

She scratches him when he tries for her belly too

But she looooves brushing sessions. Like she will try to get those bristles under her chin no matter what, which is problematic since he needs to brush all of her

!! She absolutely loves being pet

And the rest of the Seijou vbc love her to death

Like, she’s the first thing they look for in Oikawa’s home, to Oikawa’s disappointment

Iwaizumi’s really dumbfounded on why Maenki would like someone like him lol

“Look look! Maenki loves Iwa-chan ❤”

^that’s the running joke of the Seijou 3rd years lol but it’s hella fine to Iwa-chan

Sometimes she sucks Makki’s fingers :>

and is utterly terrified of how damn tall Mattsun is :

Kuroo

Medium-sized Poodle, Sushi; Common goldfish, Neko;Plakat Betta, Aki

Kuroo’s love of dogs over cats is canon, so no cats for this tol

His parents agreed he could have a dog, so they got a Medium-sized cream Poodle. Standard was too big, and Toy was too small, so they got one in the middle. His mother was allergic to fur, so they got a poodle

Sushi was the name the breeders kind of tagged him with because at two months, he looked like a riceball

Why not Onigiri? No idea either

^this lil shit is smart af. Regularly gets out of his crate, leash, collar, whatever

Gets into so much mischief too, but that was only because Kuroo wasn’t walking him; all that pent up energy was directed the wrong way

Now they have 15-minute runs and 15-minute training sessions everyday. Sushi now knows enough to enter an obedience competition

The lil shit is fast af, something Kuroo learned while sprinting. Lots of dogs that was Sushi’s size he’s handled before weren’t as fast as this beanpole of ours, but this literal small cloud of fluff could match Kuroo’s sprint over about 200m

(Even though Kuroo is the fastest of the vbc after Tora and Lev)

Neko he won from the college fair. He had no idea what to name it until it jumped out of the tank. He put it back in the tank and lo and behold: it lives!

^and since the first thing he said was that the thing must have nine lives, the name ‘Neko’ stuck

^ to this day, Kenma thinks it’s weird af (but hella cheesy and ironic)

Come spring, as he was cleaning out the tank, he noticed that the container he put Neko in had transparent little balls stuck to the walls. He ran his fingers along the tank walls, and found more of them

The filter was a bitch to clean too

In the end he did a 100% water change, and cleaned including the stand on which the tank sat on

^ this took up an entire Saturday afternoon

That was the day he realized that, for six months, the goldfish was a fricking girl.

Neko was seven months under Kuroo’s care when Aki came home.

Aki is a Grizzle Plakat Betta

Kuroo knew that bettas couldn’t be put into a tank with a four-inch-goldfish because of their size, and because bettas are literally fighting fish

But Kuroo found Aki not in one of those cups, but in a community tank. this means that Aki was already living peacefully with other fish

So after buying the things he needed for Neko’s tank, he had Aki put in a bag to take home c:

So imagine a less-than-an-inch betta with a four-inch-goldfish

Oddly enough, they get along. Well if by ‘getting along’ means ‘no nipped fins’ then they’re good

The name ‘Aki’ (暁) literally means ‘daybreak’. It’s attributed to his pastel body and blue-and-purple fins, literally looking like the morning sky

Sushi once jumped up on the seat right next to the tank and watched the fish for a good five minutes. He goes there every now and then to bark at the tank, and they greet him with omnom faces. (they’re practically best friends now c:)

Futakuchi

Alaskan Malamute, Harper; Guinea pig, Megumi

His aunt was into raising Malamutes. There was a month-old litter in her house

one of the puppies crawled up to his leg and started pawing his pants. He picked her up, and played with her until he left with his mother that evening. He’s wanted her ever since (although he won’t really admit that openly)

About a month later, he was a proud owner of a smol sable-and-white, blue-eyed Alaskan Malamute

Named her ‘Harper’, even though she’s also called Haru-chan (/ha-ru-pe-ru/, since Harper itself is an English name)

On the way or when she came home, she kept trying to lick his face, as if she was excited he was her new owner

Outside the house, she’ll play pretty vigorously

Once she grew into standard Malamute size, she’s learned she can bowl Futakuchi over. The rest of the team thinks it’s cute

Poor Sakunami is dwarfed by the some-6-foot-tall Harper. he likes it when she flops on him tho, such warmth

speaking of, in the house she likes flopping onto anyone, as in anyone

Sakunami was lying on the couch and he kind of just disappeared under her fluff

^ Aone was looking for him all around the house, the whole team was looking for him around the house until he woke up from under her and his hands popped out, trying to lift the sleeping dog off his small frame

^ which ofc Aone and Kogane had some trouble with bc Harper’s pretty iffy about being moved when she’s comfy

^ Sadly the same thing happens to Futakuchi on the regular, even more so bc he sleeps in his room and she is allowed in his room

^ ofc he knows that dogs aren’t allowed on the bed or to sleep with you but she’s just. so. stubborn

But he has so much fun with her, the team really thinks it’s cute

^ if he wasn’t so invested in the dog he probably would have a gf at that point

Sometimes they go out in the park and share mochi

And he lets her play free bc the kids want to play fetch with her

But at the same time can’t ??? because she runs off c:

Once they were walking and they come across Daichi and Captain

This sweetheart literally just waltzes up to Captain and boops his snoot with hers ❤

To which Futakuchi has absolutely no idea what to do bc she’s never really looked at the ‘how to raise a female dog’ part of the books before

She and Captain sometimes spend afternoons together on the rare occasion that they meet c:

^to Futakuchi’s dismay, since she usually pays attention to him, and now she’s got goo goo eyes on Captain

Ushijima

I don’t really see Ushiwaka having a pet, since he’ll probably think it’ll take up his time

But how about an hc where he keeps a freaking hedgehog

African Pygmy Hedgehog, Quill

^ some idiot tried to give it as a gift (not Tendou, he’s too smart for that) and Ushiwaka just kind of took it in.

^ the note mentioned just how spiky he was, and took it to a literal level.

^ he didn’t have the heart to ‘dispose’ of the tiny ball of spines, so he decided to keep it.

^ his mother was pretty much against it though, but he managed.

The smol stays in a large for-rabbits cage, with furniture of assorted sizes

After the initial introductory period (which includes desensitizing of new owner and environment, plus anting) Quill’s pretty chill

He likes snuggling in Ushiwaka’s huge sweaters, and practically disappears

You know the Hangry to Happy Hedgie vids? Feed this smol some cheese bits while he’s curled up

Sometimes Ushiwaka leaves Quill out of his cage for a while, until the Grand Ace forgets

^ and subsequently finds droppings over his hardwood floor

^ and also subsequently wonders where the heck the smol went

When the team comes over, they don’t really check on Quill simply because it’s Quill. He doesn’t really care

He cares for the treats they give tho

And the snuggles they let him have when Tendou brings him out

Speaking of, Tendou once wanted to pet Quill, but was afraid he’d get spiked

Ushiwaka showed him how, and every time he visits he’s usually got his hands on Quill

^unfortunately the one time Tendou made that stupid pun of ‘spiking’ Quill made Ushiwaka kind of worried that Tendou would actually spike the smol

^ so now Tendou must always handle Qull under Grand Ace Supervision™

Quill also likes cherries (without the skin), but it stains his lips, cheeks, chest, and paws (which leads to Ushiwaka trying to bathe Quill [which Ushiwaka really doesn’t look forward to])

But leave the smol in a bath and he’ll swim for hours

^ which is ofc dangerous but Ushiwaka also has a heart, so he spoils this one sometimes

Bokuto

First of all, HOOT HOOT

Second of all, I’ve read up on the thing about keeping owls, and although it’s a good enough idea for our resident Hoot Captain, it’s not realistic enough

So how about another dog instead?

Labrador Retriever, Choko

Anybody know what a name we could give this one

The Labrador Retriever’s intelligent, playful, family-oriented, supportive

I wanted Bokuto to have one that’s extra playful, but most of them were either small or medium in size. I really didn’t ship something like that for Bokuto

I was thinking of an Australian Shepherd, a Shikoku, Siberian Husky, Dalmatian

^ and subsequently thought, why not four dogs??

^ then I thought of Akaashi and kind of received a fictional bop on the head heheheh

SO

Bokuto went out witih Kuroo to the local groomer/clinic with Sushi, and saw quite a few puppies waiting for their grooming and wandering around playing with other puppies and dogs

And most dogs were small/medium in size

So when a grown-ass black Lab sat in line, he was just so ‘wowed’ out

Like

“Kuroo!! It’s so BIG”

“…isn’t that what girls say when they see your thing??”

“Bro”

“Bro”

But the black Lab was so big and sweet and so very nice

The owner even let him pat her head!!!

And he decided he wanted one :)

ofc Kuroo would let his friend know what it takes to take care of a dog and whatnot, and ofc Bokuto won’t listen to this

So they check the ad boards next to the door for any Lab breeders

and Bokuto’s like, “Why not get from the pet store?”

and Kuroo lists down the hell why nobody should get dogs or cats any pet from the pet store

(says the author who got a betta from the pet store)

aaand Bokuto vows to vanquish pet stores

somehow

aaand Kuroo distracts Bo with a breeder close by

“Oh look it’s a station away”

“WHERE”

and somehow Bo procures a female chocolate brown Labrador Retriever

“KUROO LOOK LOOK”

“AKAASHI LOOK LOOK”

Choko loooooves to play! She literally always brings her tennis ball over

Bokuto can’t stody because of this

But when he does she lies down under his desk as a foot warmer

And she gets rubs too c:

aaaand because Labs love to swim :>

sometimes he brings her to the beach and plays fetch into the water

and all the girls love a man with a dog right??? wrong

he’s just so loud that’s all and it’s such a turn off

also he just freezes but that’s not the point

this baby girl is just sooooo loveable that she’s always getting kisses

and always giving kisses!!!

SO the captains meet up out of nowhere with their pets and guess who she tries glomping first :>

yeahh Captain’s a ladies’ man

so much that Daichi’s pretty irritated about that

BUT get this

the first time they meet is that she’s just so happy to see another dog almost her size that she just runs over and glomps Captain in a head-on collision course

He’s terrified of her after that

But slowly they become good friends

She and Sushi are best friends!!

Sushi has unlimited energy and paired with the big Lab Choko they’re free to roughhouse however they want

so feel free to ship the smol with the big, that’s fine

When they’re all tired, it’s a big pile of multicolored multi-textured fluff that Captain stands lies guard over

Choko likes giving kisses the most, likes getting pet the most, likes playing ball the most

Chewing? She chews on hands and fingers and it doesn’t really hurt bc Labs have soft mouth

^you literally could give her an egg and the shell won’t break

Bokuto finds that weird since Sushi can bite real hard

But finds it adorable nonetheless

okay imma post this first because it’s two weeks overdue but i’ll try to update it for the other captains!!! im so sorry anon i hope you like the length of it though i got so invested in this even though it was midterms week hahahah

[oppose-gravity]

Which Program Is Right For You!

Which Program is Right for You!

With the fitness industry full of training programs, boot camps, and other craziness it can seem a bit irritating when first looking for a personal trainer/program to begin with! Look no further I’m going to get you thinking in the right direction.

Before you begin you should look into the mirror and take a long hard look at yourself, what do you see?

1. What are your current strengths and weakness?

2. Can you run short distance without huffing and puffing, squat, bend, jump?

3. Are you a bit over weight?

4. How’s your flexibility?

5. What do you aim to accomplish?

6. What timeframe, are you getting ready for the beach or is there an upcoming event?

7. How much time are you able and or willing to dedicate to your fitness/health/movement goals?

8. Be realistic with your goal setting?

9. How do you currently feel as it pertains to your self being (happy, sad, confident, unconfident, etc.)

10. When was your last health screening and were there any health issues that may slow your progress?

Your goals should be set within reality if you’re overweight and eating like crap, you’re not going to begin training for a marathon!

Although you can once you’ve taken care of your current predicament. So for instance let's say I’m overweight, lets say I weigh about 185lbs at 5’5ft my normal weight should be around 155 lbs lean. I’ve been to the doctor and he says I’m at risk of heart disease and dangerously close to becoming a diabetic. Although I’m generally confident in myself I don’t like the way I look. I begin to think hard at what I want to look like and start setting some goals. I realize I’m not the spring chicken I use to be back in the days now that I’m pushing 40. So what to do first is what I should be asking myself. Well, the first thing I need to do is begin controlling my eating habits. I think it's safe to say that I’m taking in more calories per day than my body is burning (Couch potato), and probably not good ones anyway! The next thing would be to get myself moving again; at my job I work in an office or drive a truck so I’m sitting down for a major portion of each day. So I tell myself all right I’m going to park farther away from the building and begin taking the stairs. For my lunch break I’ll go outside and go for a 10 min walk after eating. While I’m at home I think I’ll go in the back yard and play with the kids of walk the neighborhood every other day until I’m doing it everyday. Then while at work I’ll start taking mini breaks just long enough to knock out a set of pushups or sit-ups, whenever and whatever it's appropriate. At home while I’m watching TV I’ll start doing bodyweight squats and lunges during the commercials (those would turn into mini sessions as programs are shorter and commercials get longer these days)!

Now I think it's time for me to start looking for a real program to really get the results I’m looking for.

After about 8 weeks, I’m seeing some progress my arms look a bit tighter and the wife’s been giving me those sexy looks, it’s time to upgrade. Here comes the tough part, as I surf the Internet I see a huge amount of programs and personal trainers. All claiming to be the one that every person on earth should be using! As if that wasn’t enough I see plenty of gyms in my surrounding area offering memberships and personal training. This can be a bit confusing because you may not know what you should be doing. Here are a few guidelines to help you make up your mind. What is your dream, do you want to run a marathon, deadlift 1000lbs, perform the perfect handstand, or just a really nice set of six-pack abs? This will help eliminate many of the programs from your choices. So, If you're planning on completing a half marathon there’s no reason to choose an adult gymnastics class. You know what your interests are so choose something you're familiar with. Later you may want to try something new but for now stick with what you know at least until you can perform the training with regular frequency. Next is to find the right program or personal trainer that will lead you to meeting your goals.

Find a trainer that you like and that you feel comfortable with, someone that makes you feel special!

Think of them as leaders, this person is going to get you in shape or teach your some specialize skills. What kind of leader inspires you to get motivated? Some of you may need the guy who pushes you like a military drill instructor and others may like the pleasant laid back type, find what fits you. Look for a trainer fits that bill (it will increase your chances of success 100 fold)! If the you’re going to run long distance it make sense to find someone with prior experience running as they will tend to be far more knowledgeable. Look for passion when searching for a professional if he or she is dull and boring it really won’t motivate you to train very hard. Don’t be afraid to ask plenty of questions to include what qualifications your future guide has. It’s your hard earned money, make sure you spend it wisely; this is an investment (Take it seriously). Don’t settle for the person who is just going through the motions they will not inspire you and in the low points of your training you may need a strong motivational force pushing you thru those sticking points.

The thing about programs is consistency, if you put in the work assigned you will arrive at a result.

Remember what you put in is what will return you in the form of muscle gain/weight loss/endurance/flexibility etc. Until scientists create a wonder pill only hard work will turn you into superman well… sort of! Programs are a different beast and require the participant to have the necessary motivation/dedication to achieve the desired results. Beginners beware this means if you’re going to be successful you need to complete each training day as described! With that said finding a program online is easy, but not all programs are equal. So a bit of research will be required to find the right one for you. Look for well written clearly described plans that aren’t vague or seem overly complicated. The later will lead to confusion and ultimately be a major setback in attaining your training and fitness goals. There are many well written programs from very reputable sources, do your due diligence. Most programs you will receive will come with videos that demonstrate all the movements explained with the program. First make the commitment that is really the first step to commit to the program and allow the work you put in to lead to your success (ACTION)! Your second order of execution should be to familiarize yourself with these movements and understand what each of them will help you accomplish. Next is to take the first step start the program and never look back. Look, any form of exercise will take at least 6 to 8 weeks before you begin to notice any difference in body fat. Normally after the first week you will notice strength gains as those five pushups turned into 10. So keep going let each small step lead to another small step. Each one will lead to the those six pack abs, or that 12 mile run you’ve been dreaming about, just stay in the game!

Note: when it comes to programs most if not all will work if you follow the guidelines set.

Price, the word everyone fears!

I could write an entire book on price, (but I’ll keep in short)! On how expensive it is to hire a personal trainer or the fees for some of these programs. Normally you get what you pay for, so spending a little more cash may drain your pockets but look at it as you’re investing in yourself. I’m sure you have blown money on things that were far more trivial in the grand scheme of things. With the raising cost of living in our day and age, hiring a professional personal trainer or program can seem to outweigh its benefits. Now think of rising healthcare costs that are now astronomical these days! So, which would you rather an expensive doctor bill that could possible put you out of your wonderful home or the later. Think of this as your first line of defense, the stronger fitter you are the less chance of sickness. Which in the long run will save you long wait times in a hospital designed to drain your pockets. Make sense!! I think you’ll agree!

Final note: remember you can achieve any of your goals just be realistic. You’re not going to go from being 50 pounds overweight to running and ironman in 6 weeks. Have patience, devote some time, and give it a great deal of effort! You’ll see your dreams manifest, the possibilities are endless now, get out there and conquer your health you deserve it!

[boohour]

Aww WH is so cute, 100% accurate! Can you do MX as school teachers? Like what subjects they'd teach and how they'd treat their students 🤓

🐻Shownu: Gym Coach. He would be the sporty, track suit wearing, cool young gym coach. He wears a silver whistle around his neck and you can always hear it from across campus. You can find him in the cafeteria asking for seconds. He’s a very encouraging and kind coach. “Come on, you can do 10 more pushups, I know you can!!!!!!!!” He likes dodge ball a lot and for the most smiley guy on campus he sure does throw like he’s trying to send everybody to the hospital. Or maybe he doesn’t realize his own strength. DON’T CHALLENGE HIM IN BASKETBALL. DON’T MEET HIM ON THE COURT. DON’T DO IT. DON’T EVEN MENTION BASKETBALL TO HIM HE WILL EMBARRASS YOU IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CAMPUS, THE PRINCIPAL, YOUR MAMA, HIS MAMA, EVERYBODY. (This is just my imagination here I’m not going by his performance in Idol Arcade). Like wonho, he would bike to and from campus and jog for an hour before dawn. School rumor: If you challenge him to a dance off he will EMBARRASS YOU🐰Wonho: Music or Drama. The soft teacher. The fluffy teacher. “Email me if you have any questions :) ” IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT GRADE LEVEL HE TEACHES IF YOU MAKE 100 ON HIS EXAM HE WILL TURN IT INTO A SMILEY FACE. Very laidback. He gives extra credit for the most random things. He LOVES when students doodle on the back of their finished test. Barely gives homework ever. You can eat, drink, and do whatever in his class. It’s almost impossible to fail his class but if you do he’ll tell you that he made it easy enough to pass and you should’ve taken things more seriously. He gets sick a lot so there’s usually a sub teaching for him. He would be head of the Yearbook Club (I know photography is kihyun’s thing but…) and photos of him are on every other page. Loves lunch time more than the students. THE TEACHER THAT JOGS BEFORE SCHOOL THEN BIKES TO AND FROM CAMPUS. School rumor: He’s got a tattoo on his butt cheek🐶Minhyuk: Art or Drama. HE’S A VERY FUN AND EXCITING TEACHER. The teacher that is all over the place. *15 minutes later* “…What were we talking about…” He gives his students a lot of leeway and is very kind and talkative BUT if you get on his bad side or try to take advantage of his kindness he can become extremely strict and cold. “If you’re going to the vending machine can you bring me back a coke? Here’s a dollar, thanks.” Very talkative. I know his handwriting isn’t bad but this is my imagination: he’s the teacher that can’t read his own handwriting. Explains concepts by doodling furiously. Very smart but becomes tongue tied or talks so much he confuses himself and has to start over. His pet peeve is students taking advantage of his kindness to slack off and he retaliates by getting extremely strict maybe even more strict than Kihyun**** School Rumor: if you bring a cucumber to class he’ll threaten to increase homework 100 fold🐢Hyungwon: Foreign Language. He is the teacher that is IMMENSELY smart but because of his demeanor, students don’t take him seriously. He talks veeeeery slowly and carefully. Always looks like he got -100 hours of sleep and blinks slow like a turtle. He’s not a very fun teacher but he’s nice and knows how to explain concepts thoroughly and easily. Says deeply philosophical things all of the time. He won’t give a lot of homework and straight up says he doesn’t feel like grading all of it. “I know you’re still waiting on your test grades but…I haven’t graded them yet.” He’s the teacher that makes a lot of puns. Before he snaps on disruptive students, he usually becomes very sassy. “Oh you were late to my class again…Maybe you wouldn’t be so late all the time if you had better shoes to walk in.” WILL ROAST YOU. Has a bowl of candy on his desk not for students but for himself. If he hears you eating in class he says “You better have enough to share with everyone” and by everyone he means himself. Teacher that goes BUCKWILD at the end of the year. He becomes extremely fun the last week of school. School rumor: A student tried to copy his mantis dance and ended up in the hospital🐻Kihyun: Chorus, History, Foreign Language, or Literature. Head of the school Book Club. Loves poetry. HE WRITES A DIFFERENT POEM ON THE BOARD EVERY MORNING. Strict. Won’t accept late work or 99% of excuses. Gives extra credit but it’s HARD. STAY ON HIS GOOD SIDE. BE ON TIME. NO EATING. NO DRINKING. NO GUM. WILL NOT ROUND UP YOUR GRADE. On days he shows movies you have to take notes. Calls on you if he thinks you’re not paying attention. Becomes nicer near the end of the year and is surprisingly funny. Always has coffee in his #1 Teacher mug. His weakness is compliments. He MIGHT round up your grade if you say he’s your favorite teacher or Bring him an apple. School rumor about him: He’s a BEAST at karaoke🐝Jooheon: Literature. He would focus on poetry and be a master of wordplay. His lectures would always be full of puns and references to his favorite works (musicals, plays, songs, poems, books, movies). He’s the teacher that is TOO SMART. Students wonder how he has so many poems or paragraphs of text memorised. At the same time, he gives off a cool and mysterious vibe. He doesn’t care if you’re late so long as you have a good excuse. He would assign a lot of homework but the homework wouldn’t really be for a grade. He’d send home a packet of poems with his students then ask the next class period what they thought or which were their favorites. His tests are very easy and come straight from his lessons (which are full of a lot of gesturing and hand waving) if you’ve paid attention but if you zone out for A SECOND during any lesson you’ll probably fail the whole test. His extra credit would be hard. He’d want you to do some analysis on some of the most complicated works he could find not because he’s trying to be mean but because he wants you to really *think*. School Rumor: He can do an amazing impression of a baby🐺I.m: Math or any of the sciences like biology, chemistry. Head of the Robotics Club. Eccentric but really passionate about what he teaches. An extremely fun teacher to have. Students like to eat lunch in his classroom just to talk to him. Let’s you wear your headphones as long as you’re not disruptive but don’t tell the other teachers. Does give a lot of homework just because he wants to make sure you’re actually *getting it* . A teacher you can talk to easily. HE HAS A BUNCH OF WEIRD TIES AND HE WEARS A DIFFERENT ONE EVERY DAY. Will call on you if he thinks you’re not paying attention. His pet peeve is too much chatter or talking over him. Shares a lot of Facts About Space. Will rap the periodic table at you. School rumor: He looks cold but his heart is v warm and he has a soft spot for stuffed animals

(I switched tense a lot and probably made a lot of typos. I’m sorry this is so long. Good night yall I’m going to sleep now Big Moon Emoji™)

[lifeonaleaf]

Week 59: A New YEAR

We had a good week! Last week for Christmas Eve Jhoana Moises and Jhozavell Flores were both baptized and on Christmas Day they were confirmed. It will be such a sweet memory for all of us to reflect on Christmas on their first covenant made at baptism. Jhozavell's family has been doing really well. Before her baptism, her mom (who isn't a member) bought her a lot of new skirts to wear for Church :) Her oldest sister Jonalyn has also started listening in on lessons. We taught her older brother Jerick at her aunt's house and taught a lesson on New Years resolutions for spiritual things. Jerick read to us his resolution and it was to be baptized! We were soooo happy and surprised. We are still trying to figure out his available time so that we can consistently teach him. Jhon Laurence, John Paul, and Jovell (her younger siblings) all still listen to our lessons and want to be baptized. Hopefully her parent's hearts will start to soften and this year their whole family can eventually get baptized. This past week was the test for Johnny to not smoke. We weren't able to teach him because Nanay was out of town. We could only drop by and check up with him with how many sticks he's smoked. We made a rule that we'd give him a max number of sticks for that day and for each extra stick that he smoked, he has to do 20 pushups. We dropped by to see how many sticks he had done. We stood outside while we totaled up how many extra sticks he smoked, he had a total of 100 pushups to do. So we told him to chunk his pushups and then take a rest but he kept saying "I can't do it! I can't do it!" and blah blah blah. We were starting to feel frustrated because we asked him, "Did you read your scriptures?" "No." "Did you pray in the morning for help?" "No." "Do you really wanna quit smoking?" "Yes!" "Then why aren't you doing those things that will give you real strength? 20 more pushups!!" We were just screaming and screaming at him because it was getting so intense with him doing his pushups. He had one more to go and he said, "I can't do it. I really can't do it, sis." We were jumping up and down, "JOHNNY, IT'S JUST ONE MORE! DO IT!" Johnny finished his pushups  and was just dripping in sweat on his floor. Before we left, we had him turn off the TV, grab his Book of Mormon, told him to drink water, and then had a quick prayer with him. Unfortunately Johnny had a big relapse on New Years Day and has smoked 7 sticks. Bah. Addiction is hard. We won't give up on him though because he needs someone to keep pushing him and showing him that he can do more, achieve more, and overcome it. For my personal study this week, I read a lot of different talks. Obviously with the New Year coming up, I pondered over how much I've grown this past year and what I want to achieve in 2017. The talk that touched me the most was "Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread" by Elder D. Todd Christofferson. First he says, "Thoughtful planning and preparation are key to a rewarding future, but we do not live in the future—we live in the present. It is day by day that we work out our plans for the future; it is day by day that we achieve our goals. It is one day at a time that we raise and nurture our families. It is one day at a time that we overcome imperfections. We endure in faith to the end one day at a time. It is the accumulation of many days well lived that adds up to a full life and a saintly person." He talks about the story about Moses and the Children of Israel. In order to feed the millions who traveled with Moses, God provided manna each morning for them. Manna would go bad if it was kept for more than one day. God instructed them to gather enough manna only for that day, except for the day before the Sabbath when they were supposed to gather enough for both the Sabbath and that day. He really stresses how God is the source for our daily, individual, specific needs. he talks about how we can work through overwhelming issues just one day at a time. He talks about training for Navy SEALS and what they have to go through. The senior officer of the training said to the trainees, "First of all, I do not want you to give in to the pressure of the moment. Whenever you’re hurting bad, just hang in there. Finish the day. Then, if you’re still feeling bad, think about it long and hard before you decide to quit. Second, take it one day at a time. One [phase] at a time. Don’t let your thoughts run away with you, don’t start planning to bail out because you’re worried about the future and how much you can take. Don’t look ahead to the pain. Just get through the day, and there’s a wonderful career ahead of you." His words are perfect. We shouldn't be looking ahead to the pain, like Johnny and his pushups. If we chunk it, day by day, we can achieve it. We can get through anything, one day at a time. He quotes his mother's journal. She had cancer and had 15 excruciating treatments to get through. While talking with her mother, she said, "'Oh, Mother, I can’t stand having 16 more of those treatments.' She said, 'Can you go today?' 'Yes.' 'Well, honey, that’s all you have to do today.'" its like how I felt my first week in my mission, I have so many days left. How am I gonna get through this? And then the moments when I wanted to just quit because it was just so hard. I thought to myself, Hannah, take it a day at a time. But then I had to start to tell myself, Actually take it an hour at a time haha just because there were so many ups and downs in the days. Now, in the last third of my mission, I feel gratitude. I don't count the days anymore. I don't even care about how many I have left. I just appreciate every single one that I have here because now I know what it means to be a missionary. I'm grateful I didn't give up at the beginning. Elder Christofferson says, " Incorporating new and wholesome habits into our character or overcoming bad habits or addictions most often means an effort today followed by another tomorrow, and then another, perhaps for many days, even months and years, until victory is achieved. But we can do it because we can appeal to God for our daily bread, for the help we need each day." President N. Eldon Tanner said, when speaking of resolutions, "As we reflect on the value of resolving to do better, let us determine to  discipline ourselves to carefully select the resolutions we make, to consider the purpose for making them, and finally, to make commitments for keeping them and not letting any obstacle stop us. Let us remind ourselves at the beginning of each day that we can keep a resolution just for that day. As we do this it gets easier and easier until it becomes a habit." Amen!! Di ba? he quotes Elder Bednar who said, "In my office is a beautiful painting of a wheat field. The painting is a vast collection of individual brushstrokes—none of which in isolation is very interesting or impressive. In fact, if you stand close to the canvas, all you can see is a mass of seemingly unrelated and unattractive streaks of yellow and gold and brown paint. However, as you gradually move away from the canvas, all of the individual brushstrokes combine together and produce a magnificent landscape of a wheat field. . . Just as the yellow and gold and brown strokes of paint complement each other and produce an impressive masterpiece, so our consistency in doing seemingly small things can lead to significant spiritual results. 'Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great' (D&C 64:33)." Each day we can work towards building a godlike life. Some days don't feel like we are getting anywhere but when looked back on by the end of the year, we see how much we have come. "In reality, there aren’t very many things in a day that are totally without significance. Even the mundane and repetitious can be tiny but significant building blocks that in time establish the discipline and character and order needed to realize our plans and dreams. Therefore, as you ask in prayer for your daily bread, consider thoughtfully your needs—both what you may lack and what you must protect against. As you retire to bed, think about the successes and failures of the day and what will make the next day a little better. And thank your Heavenly Father for the manna He has placed along your path that sustained you through the day. Your reflections will increase your faith in Him as you see His hand helping you to endure some things and to change others. You will be able to rejoice in one more day, one more step toward eternal life." But, of course, in our daily efforts, we have the source of Daily Living Bread. One that will not ever expire or will leave us feeling hungry. "And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst. . . .Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me hath everlasting life. I am that bread of life. Your fathers did eat manna in the wilderness, and are dead. This is the bread which cometh down from heaven, that a man may eat thereof, and not die. I am the living bread which came down from heaven: if any man eat of this bread, he shall live for ever: and the bread that I will give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world" (John 6:35, 47–51). Each week we can create a resolution. We can resolve every Sunday during the Sacrament to change because of the Living Bread and really achieve that potential in us. If we apply His help, His teachings, we will change and become like Him. Every year holds trials. Just because there are hardships in a year, it shouldn't become a "bad year." If we remain close to God and endure with joy, every year will be wonderful. "The future is as bright as your faith" (Thomas S. Monson).   For myself and my resolutions, I have many. My main one is to remain pure and obedient. I want to not be deceived into the world when I come home. M. Russell Ballard said, "For those who really want to live up to who you are, for those who at all costs want to repent if necessary and who want to see through Satan’s deceptions, I have two suggestions: First, listen to and follow those whom we sustain as prophets, seers, and revelators. Second, learn to hear the voice of the Spirit, or the voice of the Lord as communicated by the power of the Holy Ghost." I want to live my life according to God's level of living and not compare my lifestyle with the world. I always want to be becoming, especially becoming like Christ. "be so absorbed with uplifting, enriching pursuits and pastimes that you leave no room for the negative or the evil that might move in to fill some bored or thoughtless void" (M. Russell Ballard). M. Russell Ballard said, "When God asked who would come to earth to prepare a way for all mankind to be saved and strengthened and blessed, it was Jesus Christ who said, simply, 'Here am I, send me' (Abr. 3:27). Just as the Savior stepped forward to fulfill His divine responsibilities, we have the challenge and responsibility to do likewise. If you are wondering if you make a difference to the Lord, imagine the impact when you make commitments such as the following:'Father, if You need a woman to rear children in righteousness, here am I, send me.''If You need a woman who will shun vulgarity and dress modestly and speak with dignity and show the world how joyous it is to keep the commandments, here am I, send me.' 'If You need a woman who can resist the alluring temptations of the world by keeping her eyes fixed on eternity, here am I, send me.' 'If You need a woman of faithful steadiness, here am I, send me.'" I want to always answer like that to the Lord. Here am I, I will do it. We have control over what we do each day. I can control whether or not I harbor a grudge, read my scriptures, pray before I eat, give a compliment, swallow my pride, etc. When we take it day by day, the power is in us to do it. My other resolution is to endure joyfully/live the gospel joyful. This is best done by laughing. Jospeh B. Wirthlin taught us to "Come what may and love it." He asked, "How can we love days that are filled with sorrow? We can’t—at least not in the moment. I don’t think that we suppress discouragement or deny the reality of pain. I don’t think that we smother unpleasant truths beneath a cloak of pretended happiness. But I do believe that the way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life." President Uchtdorf said, "Walking in the path of discipleship does not need to be a bitter experience. It 'is sweet above all that is sweet.' It is not a burden that weighs us down. Discipleship lifts our spirits and lightens our hearts. It inspires us with faith, hope, and charity. It fills our spirits with light in times of darkness, and serenity during times of sorrow." My knowledge of the gospel brings me such true joy. Whenever my mind begins to comprehend how much Heavenly Father loves me and has in store for me, any pain I have ever felt seems to be removed from me. He is my joy and my song. Finally, this quote is one that I love. President Uchtdorf says, "Yes, God loves you this very day and always. He is not waiting to love you until you have overcome your weaknesses and bad habits. He loves you today with a full understanding of your struggles. He is aware that you reach up to Him in heartfelt and hopeful prayer. He knows of the times you have held onto the fading light and believed—even in the midst of growing darkness. He knows of your sufferings. He knows of your remorse for the times you have fallen short or failed. And still He loves you. And God knows of your successes; though they may seem small to you, He acknowledges and cherishes each one of them. He loves you for extending yourself to others. He loves you for reaching out and helping others bear their heavy burdens—even when you are struggling with your own. He knows everything about you. He sees you clearly—He knows you as you really are. And He loves you—today and always! Do you suppose it matters to our Heavenly Father whether your makeup, clothes, hair, and nails are perfect? Do you think your value to Him changes based on how many followers you have on Instagram or Pinterest? Do you think He wants you to worry or get depressed if some un-friend or un-follow you on Facebook or Twitter? Do you think outward attractiveness, your dress size, or popularity make the slightest difference in your worth to the One who created the universe? He loves you not only for who you are this very day but also for the person of glory and light you have the potential and the desire to become." Every year can be made wonderful when we choose to live the gospel, when we choose to really become who we are to become. "Old things are done away, and all things have become new. Therefore I would that ye should be perfect even as I, or your Father who is in heaven is perfect" (3 Nephi 12:47-48). Oh and a cute story. Yesterday at Church, Jhoana and Julia sat by us. They are our recent converts and part-members. They're both about 9 years old. While they sat by us, we gave them paper to draw on to help them be reverent. Julia drew pictures of me, her, and S. Keen-Lair sitting in Church and God watching us. Then of us saving her in the water. Julia wrote a note about how she's happy because she's at Church. It was so sweet. Jhoana wrote me a note, thanking me for teaching her, and telling me that she's really happy when we teach her and she'll be sad when I leave. Children are just the best. I love y'all so much!! Love, Sister Murray

[livinganddyingatdisneyworld-blog]

Boys

So ya’ll. I’m struggling. With what you may ask? Sex and dating.

I know this is something everyone struggles with but for me it’s like a real issue. Why? Because it’s like my body is telling me to do one thing but I can never seem to be able to do it. I know deep down I want a boyfriend. Specifically a guy who is a masculine outgoing top to balance out my more feminine quiet bottom. I have never had a boyfriend. I’m 28 years old. What is wrong with me? How do all these young gays that are in the early 20s have so much sex/past relationships? I know I’m not perfect but it’s just not fair. It really just makes me feel ugly, unwanted, undesired, left out and so many other similar emotions. It makes me dislike being gay and being a part of the gay community because every gay guy I talk to ends up making me feel worse because they reject me. Maybe if I had at least had like, one boyfriend in the past I wouldn’t be so sensitive to rejection, but the fact no one has ever wanted me really hurts, and the continual rejection can be so painful even if I’m used to it. I’m always alone. And the funny thing is I feel like my personality is more one that wants to be dominated. I need a man that will hold me down, and yet I’ve never had that. Lately my body just screams for sex but I can’t find anyone that will give it to me. and the ones that attempt too leave me feeling unsatisfied. I get told all the time that I’m pretty, I have great eyes, I’m cute, etc but the thing is, gay men are not attracted to beauty. If they were they would date women. They like raw, rugged masculinity which is something I do not project. If you look at pictures of me you see an aging twink with not alot of positive attributes. There’s always going to be someone more attractive that a guy could go to, that’s why they never settle for me. Am I just supposed to give up on ever having a boyfriend or being in a relationship? I honestly wouldn’t even know how to navigate that situation if it did come into my life, actually meeting a boy that wants to spend time with me, get to know me. I’ve never had that. It’s pretty sad. The older I get the less attractive I’m going to be. If having a cute face hasn’t gotten me anywhere I guess time is running out. I have a big dick but I just know I’m not a top and I almost never have the urge to top. It could change when I’m older but I just want to bottom. I can never find someone that wants to fuck me. At least not someone that I like. Have a rejected men before? Absolutely. But I’m not going to sleep with someone if I don’t like them. That I think would fuck me up way worse than just not having dick. I wouldn’t be happy knowing I gave my body to someone just for that. I’ve already done that a few times and afterwards I thought why did you do that? You don’t even like him and yet you let him fuck you.....so stupid. I don’t know what people think when they look at me. Do they assume I’m getting dicked down all the time? Is it obvious I’m so lonely and single and desperate that my body just aches? It’s really weird to think that no one knows what I’m struggling with, but yet when you’re out in public you always think it’s obvious. Like even if I’m out by myself, how would a stranger know that I’m single? Maybe I have a boyfriend, how would they know? Unfortunately I’m not strong enough to induce confidence about this. Like “oh yes I am in a relationship...with myself” sounds nice but not realistic. I honestly should just give up. 28 years...and nothing. It’s clearly something about me that turns guys off and it’s not something I can change or figure out because if I could I would have done it already. Maybe I am ugly. I know my personality isn’t great. But then you see guys out there that I personally feel aren’t as attractive as me and they have boyfriends and have had alot of luck with it so it just doesn’t make sense. I shouldn’t have to change who I am and what I like in order to find someone. Unless I feel it’s a positive change that may also happen to benefit me in that way. Like with working out, recently in the last few months I’ve been trying to do pushups everyday, because I know my arms and upper body are small and I could see how in pictures it just wasn’t that attractive. The benefit of having more muscle for me to be able to carry things and look better was worth it - I didn’t do it to impress guys. At the end of the day I just don’t understand people. I don’t understand guys and how they navigate life - especially straight guys, but gays too. There’s a lot of different types of gays but I’m not sure what category I fall into. I just know that I rarely see a guy that I’m like 90-100% interested in, usually it’s less then that so I’m not excited. Maybe I’m just always in the wrong place at the wrong time. I mean I know I don’t go out much, so if I don’t go out or put myself out there on social media how would a guy find me. But I also believe in fate. It really just seems like my fate is to never get to experience true love or great sex. I am not one to judge others but I do have respect for myself to not put myself in risky situations or talk to guys that are obviously on a different moral code than I am. I’m a pretty clean-cut person, no drinking, no drugs, no tattoos, no bars. Alot of gays are alot more devilish. I have hooked up with seven guys in the last month. One of them made out with me for 10 minutes and left. He said we could get together later and fuck but he never messaged me again. One of them just wanted to swap blow jobs and would not kiss me. I made him cum and he sucked me but didn’t get me off. He said we could meet again and do more but he never messaged me again. One guy came over and had a small dick and he just wanted a blow job. I tried to makeout with him but he wasn’t into it. I made him cum and he left. Haven’t heard from him since. One guy I went to his apartment and he tried to top me, but his dick was really small and he couldn’t, so instead he mouth-fucked me and came in my mouth, which kind of pissed me off and I spit his cum out on his stomach. I blocked him right after I left. One guy came over and he just wanted a blowjob. He didn’t cum for me. He left. Probably won’t see him again. I only found two guys to fuck me - both with small dicks. I left feeling unsatisfied even though we did full naked everything session. One guy was pretty decent, and he did message me after for a round 2, but the small dick wasn’t worth it so I’m not going to see him again. The other guy was kind of creepy and I regret it. Luckily he wore a condom even though I’m pretty sure I swallowed some of his cum while he was inside my mouth. Overall I think I’m just done with it and I’m ready to give up and try to focus on myself. Spoil myself. Better myself. Love myself. These guys are all pigs with bad intentions and they really don’t deserve me. I am loyal as fuck and great in bed, it’s really there loss. Every cute boy I talk to that I’m really interested in doesn’t even respond to my message. Not even a “ Hi “ back. Just a complete lack of interest, like I’m not even there. But then you see them talking to a lot of other gays. I get so jealous when I see young gay couples. How life-changing that would have been for me in my early 20s. Especially when I see young feminine bottoms in relationships. Like what do you have that I don’t have? Apparently I’m missing something......

[lolsexonthebeach]

My girlfriend wanted me to do these and also I really wanted to do these

1. Coffee or tea?

Usually coffee, but I won’t say no to green tea. Like, ever.

2. Black and white or color?

Used to be black and white but I’m starting to like colors again. Oh my god, I sound like a really cringy goth kid.

3. Drawings or paintings?

Drawings. I loved whenever my girlfriend would sketch things on our coffee dates.

4. Dresses or skirts?

Dresses. Love love love when @organiclavender wears dresses :)

5. Books or movies?

Honestly, books more recently. I haven’t seen a good movie in awhile.

6. Pepsi or Coke?

Pepsi, I drank enough coke as a child to make a 500lb McDonald’s frequenter gasp.

7. Chinese or Italian?

This is a very evil question. I guess Chinese, I feel like it’s easier to find a hole-in-the-wall place serving bomb Chinese than it is to find a decent Italian restaurant that sells something other than Spaghetti and one meatball.

8. Early bird or night owl?

Is it possible to be both? Kinda like waking up early now, but I love midnight silence.

9. Chocolate or vanilla?

That’s racist.

10. Introvert or extrovert?

I am an introvert that pretends to be extroverted so he can pet people’s cats and play their musical instruments

11. Hugs or kisses?

Kisses. Always kisses.

12. Hunting or fishing?

This is probably a typical answer, but I really don’t like the idea of murdering something helpless for fun (Even though I fucking love guns lmao). Fishing is probably not much less cruel, but it’s so relaxing, man. 

13. Winter or summer?

Well, summer rhymes with bummer. 

Nah. Love the cold.

14. Spring or fall?

Fall. Such a spooky season.

15. Rural or urban?

It really depends on where lol. I love getting lost in the woods, but there’s no Wi-Fi out there lmao

16. PC or Mac?

Macs are literally overpriced Linux computers that take everything good about Linux and throw it the fuck away.

17. Tan or pale?

Pale <3

18. Cake or pie?

I will eat the FUCK out of some pecan pie.

19. Ice cream or yogurt?

I’m not an annoying hipster that lies about enjoying fermented milk so iced cream for me

20. Ketchup or mustard?

Ketchup, but mustard is growing on me lately. Like, go get some spicy brown mustard from Walmart and put that shit on a sandwich with pepper jack and roast beef and tell me there’s not a God.

21. Sweet pickles or dill pickles?

Sweet pickles are the 2nd most disgusting thing I’ve ever put in my mouth. The first is my brother’s penis. What was weirder was finding out that he wasn’t really my brother.

22. Comedy or mystery?

I feel like most comedies these days are different iterations of “WEIRD SEX SCENES AND AFFAIRS AND ALSO HERE’S SOME BOOBS” so mystery

23. Boots or sandals?

Well, if Doc Marten made some flippy flops... Nah, boots.

24. Silver or gold?

Silver. Looks way classier to me for some reason.

25. Pop or Rock?

DEATH METAL

26. Dancing or singing?

I can’t do either, I’m a white boy.

27. Checkers or chess?

My girlfriend will attest to the fact that I used to literally stay awake for hours playing chess on my phone

28. Board games or video games?

I love the videa.

29. Wine or beer?

I am answering this question with a hangover. Please die.

30. Freckles or dimples?

Both will equally melt my heart.

31. Honey mustard or BBQ sauce?

I live in Texas, so BBQ sawz

32. Body weight exercises or lifting weights?

Weights. I notice better results doing shit with dumbbells and stuff than I do just doing pushups and shit.

33. Baseball or basketball?

I refer you to the answer of question 26.

34. Crossword puzzles or sudokus?

Do I look like a 40 year old wife that likes to disturb her husband’s peace in the morning

35. Facial hair or clean shaven?

I assume this is asking about on other people, but facial hair if I’m trying to go to a bar and I don’t feel like getting carded, clean shaven if I want some love from @organiclavender

36. Crushed ice or cubed ice?

Ice^3

37. Skiing or snowboarding?

Snowboarding. 

38. Smile or game face?

I usually try to smile but apparently I have resting bitch face a lot

39. Bracelet or necklace?

I’ll rock both, yo.

40. Fruit or vegetables?

Both, my girlfriend has been forcing me to eat healthier and omg I’m actually starting to like things that aren’t baked in an asbestos lined oven with ingredients grown from failed cloning experiments and formaldehyde

41. Sausage or bacon?

Bausage.

42. Scrambled or fried?

This is a tough one. As long as there’s a shit ton of cheese somewhere in there, I’ll eat either.

43. Dark chocolate or white chocolate?

Darkolate.

44. Tattoos or piercings?

Have both, want more of both. I seriously miss my nose ring.

45. Antique or brand new?

Antique, but my girlfriend is scared of old things because she won’t stop watching Paranormal Survivor.

46. Dress up or dress down?

I have no idea what this means. I clearly am not the target demographic of this questionnaire.

47. Cowboys or aliens?

I was going to say both, but then I remembered it’s that kind of thinking that made Cowboys and Aliens with Daniel CRAYGE happen.

48. Cats or dogs?

I love woofers but I absolutely adore cats.

49. Pancakes or waffles?

Fucking WAFFLES.

50. Bond or Bourne?

I’ve been a Bond fan since I was old enough to be sentient

51. Sci-Fi or fantasy?

Both. Massive Sci-Fi fan but I love anything to do with fantasy things.

52. Numbers or letters?

Symbols!

53. Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings?

LORD OF THE POTTER

54. Fair or theme park?

I love fairs. There’s always a hint of “holy shit I might die” that just adds to the rickety experience of riding a roller coaster set up in literally a day.

55. Money or fame?

Money. I’d much rather buy people shit than sign autographs.

56. Washing dishes or doing laundry?

Neither. Shit is so lame. Hate both equally.

57. Snakes or sharks?

Sneks r cool

58. Orange juice or apple juice?

Apple Juice. I’ve been craving some since I woke up.

59. Sunrise or sunset?

Sunset.

60. Slacker or over-achiever?

I have bursts of both, which likely means I have some kind of serious mental disorder

:D

61. Pen or pencil?

Pens. There’s a weird quality to ink that I’ve always loved.

62. Peanut butter or jelly?

I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who ate straight jelly lmao

63. Grammys or Oscars?

Do I look like a bored, lonely housewife?

64. Detailed or abstract?

Both. Absolutely both.

65. Multiple choice questions or essay questions?

When I didn’t entirely hate school, I loved essay questions. Multiple choice is now my favorite.

66. Adventurous or cautious?

Literally both.

67. Saver or spender?

I’m both lol. Sometimes I won’t spend a dime and then other times I’ll buy some fucking copper silverware on amazon because “It looks cool”.

68. Glasses or contacts?

Depends on the person. I think my girlfriend looks adorable in hers, I can’t seem to have them without shattering them.

69. Laptop or desktop?

Desktop.

70. Classic or modern?

Classic.

71. Personal chef or personal fitness trainer?

I would literally kill for someone to get me off of my ass and into a gym more often.

72. Internet or cell phone?

I feel like those two are synonymous now.

73. Call or text?

If it’s my girlfriend, call. If it’s literally anyone else, text.

74. Curly hair or straight hair?

I think girls with curly hair are the absolute cutest thing ever.

75. Shower in the morning or shower in the evening?

Evening showers make me happy.

76. Spicy or mild?

I will forever shovel spicy things in my mouth until my stomach screams at me and I need to throw up on the poor waitress asking me if I’m okay.

77. Marvel or DC?

I am weirdly not into comics.

78. Paying a mortgage or paying rent?

Dude, if I could afford a house in any possible way, there’s no way in hell I would ever live in an apartment again.

79. Sky dive or bungee jump?

I really wanna sky dive. Loved bungee jumping.

80. Oreos or Chips Ahoy?

WHAT IF THEY MADE BOTH 

81. Jello or pudding?

Pudding

82. Truth or dare?

You’re not even trying anymore.

83. Roller coaster or Ferris wheel?

Roller coaster!

84. Leather or denim?

I rock both yo.

85. Stripes or solids?

SOLIDS

86. Bagels or muffins?

Bagels, omfg. I’m like craving a garlic and poppy seed bagel right now. Wiff some creme chez.

87. Whole wheat or white?

My girlfriend hates me so I’m not allowed to eat white bread anymore.

88. Beads or pearls?

ANAL BEADS

89. Hardwood or carpet?

Hardwood. I finally moved into an apartment with wood floors and omg it’s so nice. Only thing that sucks is when it’s cold you mos def need socks.

90. Bright colors or neutral tones?

Neutral. I like colors too, I’m just a weird goth boy.

91. Be older than you are or younger than you are?

Older, with a job that doesn’t suck. I wanna be out of college.

92. Raisins or nuts?

Raisins are gross. I love cashews tho

93. Picnic or nice restaurant?

Nice restaurant. One of my favorite dates with my girlfriend is finding cool nice places to grab some food at :)

94. Black leather or brown leather?

Black ‘till I die.

95. Long hair or short hair?

Both. I’m not picky :)

96. “Ready, aim, fire” or “Ready, fire, aim”?

I’m imaging the second choice is what half of the dudes at the range I used to go to into Austin took.

97. Fiction or non-fiction?

Fiction. Non-Fiction is boring.

98. Smoking or non-smoking?

I’m not allowed to smoke anymore.

:’(

99. Think before you talk or talk before you think?

I definitely do both.

100. Asking questions or answering questions?

Both yo!

[mubal4]

“Do meaningful things but draw meaning from it.” – Brandon Burchard

 Heard the above quote this morning while listening to the Lewis Howes’ podcast with Brandon Burchard. The main topic was around being an influencer and navigating life while having a positive impact on the world. The above words, and others within the content, struck a chord with me and wanted to share my thoughts.  How often do we believe we are doing things of meaning?  I think, for the most part, our days are filled with meaningful actions and activities. I think these words hit me hard today because I have been thinking a lot about not taking moments and life for that matter for granted.  I wrote about this a few times recently that we all have commitments, responsibilities, and activities each day that we should, and must at times, honor.  There are other things daily that may be things we want to do; maybe we should be doing more of those things, but life does call, and we do our best to do all of these things with meaning.  We’ve heard the term, “with intention,” or “with purpose.”  I believe they are both important and certainly help in keeping us moving forward and keeping us showing up consistently.  

 But, how often, when we are doing those “meaningful things,” are we actually pulling out meaning?  Prior to listening to this podcast, I was on my run.  It was early, quiet, and peaceful out on the trails this morning. And, it is still not scorching hot……. yet!! 😊  Since I have a race on Saturday, this is a taper week, so I have scaled back mileage, time on feet, and intensity so this morning was a nice, easy run.  About a mile from finishing up, a sense of calm came over me, like I said above, I was experienced a moment of peace and clarity.  My steps flowed easily, and I kept hearing the sounds of my feet hitting the dirt and crushed gravel of the trail.  It is a bit weird; we do something so often it becomes natural to us; like running for me.  It is a form of mediation at some points but there are also times where thoughts are constantly racing through my mind.  Did I leave the garage open? Did I call back that client?  Did I leave out the chicken to defrost?  Some thoughts are meaningless and there are some that may be important or even critical.  Whatever the case, I am on the trail and there is nothing that I can do about it so I will let it go.  Today though, I had a feeling that there was nothing to let go of.  I just said that to myself and not sure if it makes sense. I guess there were not thoughts flowing through my head.  I felt that there was nowhere that I needed to be; no responsibilities I needed to tend to and no commitments I had to honor.  Freedom.  When I got to my car, cooled down a bit, and drove home, that sense of calmness and peace stayed with me.  I got home to a sleeping house and took some time to stretch and do some pushups/crunches, and also took a swim; throughout all of this I was present, not rushed, I felt free.

 Last week, or maybe even earlier this week I talked about replicating these types of moments.  As I took some time to reflect on this morning and the blog last week my thought is, why can’t we just choose to have these moments?  What I mean is, when I am off on a run today’s feelings can still be the same as any other run right?  On the trail there is nothing I can do about anything that may be going on in my life, with kids, clients, Robin, family, etc.  I am on a trail, in a mountain, or at the gym, whatever the case, that moment I am in then, that is where I must be and everything else should be let go.  

 Why is it so hard?  I have no friggin clue friends.  It is a struggle for me many times.  However, there are those times, like this morning, like last week, when it does happen that give me belief that we can create more of them; more peace, more calmness, more freedom.  It really just is freedom from our thoughts.  Well, the thoughts are going to come and go no matter what, but freedom from those thoughts controlling us.  Another great quote from the podcast today by Brandon Burchard is, “self-doubt is one of the first signals that you want to grow.”  This stopped me and had me shaking my head.  You know those moments when you are agreeing with your head and saying, “mmm hmmm!!”  This was one of those for me.  Mr. Burchard explained it, and I am paraphrasing here, but that self-doubt is okay. He describes it as a moment of awareness that we don’t have the capabilities to do “that thing” just yet.  However, we are willing to put the work in to explore it, learn from it, and ask for help to overcome it.  It is when we let the self-doubt stop us that is the dream killer! Pretty interesting perspective.  I like it and definitely makes a lot of sense to me.  Right now, I have some doubts about this race coming up this weekend.  I know I am not at 100% and I won’t be come Saturday.  Life, some commitments, and being sick definitely created some circumstances that prevented me from putting in the work that I wanted to leading up to this point.  It is not stopping me from toeing the line.  It is helping me be aware of, expectations for one, I don’t have any. That feeling I had today on the run, freedom, calm, peace – I want to create that on Saturday on the trails.  The great thing is, no matter how my physical body may feel, the perceived lack of training I may have put in, or any self-doubting thoughts that my enter my mind, I get to choose to run with peace, calmness, freedom; with gratitude – I GET to do this!!  

 I think it is very rare for us to be 100% prepared for what we have coming up.  I think we often have doubts, fears, and anxiety about what may lie ahead.  It is unknown right!  But these don’t have to prevent us from taking on that challenge.  We are aware that it won’t be easy, we may fail, it is likely we could fall flat on our faces.  Who cares?  When we toe the line and are aware of these fears, but not letting us destroy our dreams, no matter what the result, we will grow from it.  We will be better from it.  We will be different when we are done.  Let’s work this week to let go of expectations and results, not worry about preparation and “if we are ready.” Let’s just say, “oh what the hell, do it anyway.”