#he wears bicycling hot pants

[vimse]

my perception of him is wildly skewed but

why does he look so polite

[jlf23tumble]

oooh i wanna hear your interpretation of little freak

I think it's a fascinating song because a) it's him being his most hyper-literal self, and like my tags say here, the reactions I've seen about it (gender???? whut) truly underline his Cassandra curse, people forever thinking he's being deep or whatever, but really, he's literally SAYING it as it is (I'll plop some other examples in the tags), b) it's the only time he's been overtly mean (or at least petty or at least that I can remember) in a song, just ouch, what a read, and c) me as him, truly #annoyed with the typical LA party vibes, he really took a swing with the golf club trampoline of it all

[stevieschrodinger]

Part One Nineteen

TW - I cannot stress this enough; Eddie's junk is not of this world

“You want hot chocolate?”

“Hot cho-co-late,” Eddie repeats carefully.

“I’m having one,” and since it’s Christmas, Steve gets out a small pot to make it properly on the stove top.

Steve’s stirring the slowly heating milk when he hears back back door open, and turns to see Eddie looking out, “Stee. Snowing.”

“Is it?” Steve comes out to look, “oh yeah. That’s nice right?”

“Pretty,” Eddie says, sticking his hand out and letting one of the big fat flakes settle on his fingers. Steve has a vivid memory of the last time they were in this doorway, watching the snow together, and just how different things are right now hits him all over again. Eddie sniffs the snowflake before shoving it in his mouth, “cold water.”

“You got it baby, come on, lets have hot chocolates and watch the snow.”

When Steve tells Eddie he can’t wear his hat to bed, Eddie pouts, but he does arrange it carefully on the desk, next to Steve’s flower crown. Steve has to blink back more stupid tears at the sight, and forces himself to take a deep breath and get into bed.

“Eybrows,” Eddie says, tracing them carefully with the point of his claw, “nose,” and then he veers off a little bit, “one mole. Two mole. Three mole.” Steve shivers where Eddie’s claw drags over his throat and then back up, shifting a little in bed, “mouth.”

“What are you doing baby?”

“Gro-seree list. All the things Eddidie likes.”

“Jesus Christ,” Steve mutters to himself, “how the hell are you so smooth?” He can feel himself blushing a little, which is just ridiculous.

“Not like,” Eddie rubs a knuckle through Steve’s scraggly stubble. He really does need to shave that off; he’s not drowning in a pit of despair any more, there’s no real excuse for the sad facial hair.

“No?”

Eddie shakes his head, rubbing fingertips across the smooth apple of Steve’s cheek, “good,” and then into the stubble, “bad.”

“This is smooth,” Steve tells Eddie, running his fingertips along Eddie’s arm, “this is rough,” he rubs at the stubble on Eddie’s head to demonstrate.

“Rough bad.”

“Oh. Okay. I’ll get rid of it in the morning, okay?”

“Tomorrow morning?”

“Yeah.”

“Breakfast morning lunch afternoon dinner night bed.”

Steve has to cogitate on that for a second, “yeah, yeah that’s right. Morning is after breakfast and before lunch. Afternoon is after lunch but before dinner.”

Eddie hums, settling down next to Steve in bed, his head resting on Steve’s shoulder, “before Hawkins Indiana, Eddidie in The Upside down.”

“That’s right baby, you got it.”

“After Monday Tuesday.”

“Yup, that’s right,” Steve yawns, “you have a good Christmas?”

“Many good. Christmas Tomorrow?”

Steve chuckles, “Christmas isn’t for a whole year. You remember what a year is?”

“January February March April...”

When Steve wakes up, it’s to the sight of Eddie’s feet right in the air. He’s lying on his back next to Steve, legs held straight up. He’s curling his toes. Sometimes all of them, sometimes just the big ones. His sleep pants have fallen down past his knees, and Steve lies there a while, just watching.

Eddie’s speaking, and Steve thinks it may have woken him despite Eddie’s obvious attempts to be very very quiet; he’s currently counting to ten. And then he says the days of the week, the months, the alphabet. He spells his name. He waves his feet around a little, and then bends his knobbly knees in turn, making circles like he’s riding an imaginary bicycle. He’s singing something to himself. ABBA, Steve finally makes out, it’s a bit mangled, ‘soopa troopa,’ the way Eddie sings it. Just the one line, over and over, ‘light’s are gonna’ blind me, shining like the sun,’ Eddie must have picked it up off the TV or the radio.

Steve must shift, or make a sound, and he gives himself away eventually, Eddie realizing he’s awake, “Stee. Morning. Breakfast food?”

“Morning baby.”

“Stee?”

“Yeah?”

“Eddidie baby, then Stee..?”

“Oh. You want a- hmmm.” Steve thinks, “how about sweetheart?”

Eddie looks terribly affronted, “Stee not food.”

Steve lifts his own leg out from under the covers, wriggling three toes at Eddie, “kind of am.”

Eddie actually makes a noise, so shocked a little puff of air escapes him as he splutters, “no!”

Steve can’t help his laughter, “too soon?”

“All tomorrows too soon!”

“Okay, okay. I won’t joke about it.” Steve thinks again, but most things he comes up with are kind of food adjacent. Joyce has kind of cornered the market on ‘honey.’ “How about love?”

“I love you.”

“I know baby, I love you too. But that’s what you could call me. Love.”

“Stee love.”

They brush their teeth together, elbow to elbow, “we really should shower.” They haven’t washed up since Christmas eve, when Steve dragged Eddie out of the pool. Steve inspects the tub; it’s streaked with disgusting gritty filth on the bottom, and the dirty blanket and clothes are still shoved into the corner of the bathroom where Steve left them.

They might be salvageable on a long enough wash, but Steve wants to get a trash bag rather than put them in his basket, they are really gross. He also hasn’t really done any meaningful amount of cleaning or tidying since the night Eddie bit his toes off...which between the injury and the moping, he felt he had a valid excuse to ignore the state of the house.

Not really now though, “I tell you what, lets have breakfast, and then do a little cleaning and some laundry, and then we shower, sound good?”

“Breakfast good.”

“Okay, I’ll just deal with this a minute,” and Eddie sits on the lid of the toilet, watching avidly as Steve shaves.

“Okay, so this goes in here,” Steve loads the washer, leaving the trash sack of really gross stuff for a separate wash later, “and then we measure the detergent like this.”

“Eddidie can?”

“Sure baby,” Steve tips the power back into the box, giving the scoop to Eddie so he can do it. Eddie carefully pours where Steve points. “Now, this is clothes, so we press this,” he points to the dial, and then the button, “so that gets rid of the dirt, and our clothes will be nice and clean.”

Eddie does it, and then grins big when the machine starts up, “done.”

“Good job, okay, so we give it a while, then we come back and set it drying, okay?”

“Okay.” Eddie waves at the machine, “bye bye dirt.”

“Help?”

“That’s real nice baby yeah, like this,” and Steve demonstrates as he moves along the book cases, around the TV, carefully dusting his mothers ornaments and picture frames, “you got it?”

“Got it.”

Steve leaves him to it, and goes and cleans the kitchen. Jon and Hopper did a great job yesterday, and Steve’s really grateful considering the amount of people who ate here, but there’s still an amount of post Christmas carnage to clear up. He takes the trash bag out since it’s filled with wrapping paper, then comes back and starts emptying the drying rack, getting the kitchen clean.

When he goes back into the lounge, Eddie’s done dusting, and he’s carefully arranging all his new things; he puts his new VHS next to the TV, ready for later.

“You want to vacuum?” Steve asks him.

“Vacuum?”

Steve retrieves it from the utility, plugging it in for Eddie and showing him how it works. “Dry?” Eddie shouts over the noise.

“No,” Steve calls back, immediately understanding the link between the hoover and the hairdryer, “clean!”

Eddie takes the hoover, and once Steve shows him how to move the plug from socket to socket, he does the whole downstairs of the house. After, they sit on the couch for a bit, Eddie’s new legs a little shaky with exertion, “you want to try a coffee?”

“Try a coffee. Want. Please.”

“Okay,” Steve makes them both a mug of coffee, making Eddie’s a little sweeter and milkier then his own, and Eddie drinks the whole thing happily. Steve figures if a beer doesn’t hurt, then a little coffee won’t either.

It turns out twenty minutes later that a bit of coffee can have side effects; they find themselves dealing with Eddie’s first poop.

“Cross the bridge,” Eddie had declared hilariously, after producing what was possibly the most heinous fart Steve had ever heard. Steve scrubs the tub while Eddie sits on the toilet, staying present but trying to give Eddie the illusion of privacy.

“Pee more bad then poop,” Eddie tells him.

“Well, at least this one doesn’t hurt, huh baby?”

“Not hurt. No ow.”

“Pee doesn’t hurt now though, does it? Just that first one?” Steve checks.

“No. No ow pee. Called first?”

“Good. That’s good.” Steve gets the shower head down to rinse away the last of the cleaning product, leaving a shiny white tub behind, “uhm...first is. One. That comes first. Monday comes first, January.”

Eddie hums, frowning like he does when he hasn’t quite grasped it yet. To be fair, Steve knows he can’t always give the best explanation for these things. “Not ow,” Eddie tells him, back onto safer ground.

“So if its not ow, we say it doesn’t hurt.”

“It doesn’t hurt,” Eddie parrots back, “no ow. It doesn’t hurt. Okay.”

“That’s right baby.”

Eddie awkwardly wipes and then flushes while Steve gets the water hot for his shower, he waves at the toilet, and says, “bye bye poop,” Steve covering his face with his hand to try and muffle his snort of laughter. Eddie strips off, putting all his things in the hamper, “Stee love in tub?”

“You go first.”

Eddie frowns, “no, together.”

“I…” and Steve can’t, actually, think of a real reason why not, so he gets undressed too.

Steve shampoos and then conditions his hair while Eddie stands under the water, doing little swaps back and forth when Steve needs to rinse. Eddie’s doing a half hearted job, he keeps getting distracted by the feel of the splashing water, watching fascinated as it drips from his fingers, so Steve eventually intervenes. Steve carefully scrubbing Eddie down with the wash cloth; he’s so thin, Steve can almost make out his thigh-bones. His knees, ankles and elbows protrude and Steve could fit his fingers between Eddie’s ribs.

“You hungry? I think there’s left over cobbler in the fridge.”

Eddie nods, “cobbler. Sorry canned filling. Idge cold. Make hot?”

“Yeah I can warm it up for you.”

Once Steve’s done, Eddie limpets himself to Steve. The stubble on his head is starting to turn dark, like Eddie has a five o’clock shadow on his head, and it’s rough on Steve’s shoulder, prickling him. Steve doesn’t mind though. Steve rubs his back, following the knobs of his spine.

“We should get out,” Steve says absently.

“Maybe,” Eddie replies, making Steve snort a laugh, kissing the top of Eddie’s prickly head.

Eddie responds by leaning up to kiss Steve properly, slow and soft, “first?” He asks after.

“First what baby?”

“First kiss today?”

Steve thinks about it, “yeah. Yeap you’re right. First kiss of the day, right there.”

Eddie grins, “first kiss of the day tomorrow?”

“We can do that.”

Eddie suddenly lights up, “license first! Eddidie car after!”

“That’s it baby, exactly right,” Steve tells him, Eddie clearly finally grasping the concept.

“Called before sleep kiss?”

“That would be last. Last kiss of the day.”

“December last? Sunday?”

“Yeah, yeah baby, you got it.”

Eddie nods like there was never any doubt, leaning in to kiss Steve again. Still slow and sweet, a soft touch of lips, Eddie’s arms wrapped around Steve’s middle, holding them close. It takes a minute to register the movement, something pressing against the crease of Steve’s thigh. He leans back a little to look down.

The top of Eddie’s slit has parted; the opening wide enough to permit the...Steve doesn’t even know. It’s worming against Steve’s skin, the flesh the same color as Eddie at the base, but darkening to near black at the rounded head.

It moves freely, probably roughly the same thickness as Steve’s own cock when he’s hard. Steve watches as it moves...like it’s looking for something. It moves like a snake. Like an octopus tentacle. Nudging and casting about across the skin of Steve’s hip; when it wriggles back the other way, finding Steve’s pubic hair, it nuzzles in against it.

“Eddie,” Steve swallows thickly, stunned into a frozen state of fascination, he's pretty sure he hasn't blinked in a minute, his heart thudding loud in his ears, “what-I mean. What is that?”

“Eddidie?” Eddie says, gently reaching between them to touch Steve’s own soft cock.

“Jesus Christ,” Steve breathes.

Eddie’s hand slides across, touching...himself? Steve guesses?...with his fingers. The...thing seems to wake up again, tangling itself with Eddie’s fingers easily. It’s very...twisty. And bendy. The thing looks like it has a, a kind of grip on Eddie’s fingers, almost.

And then the end starts to open, six petals that slowly start to peel apart, and Steve panics, jerking away, pushing Eddie’s hips away with both hands and holding him there at arms length.

Eddie’s...dick? Seems to startle, zipping back inside him like it was never there. “Holy shit. Holy shit,” Steve breathes, drawing in only slightly panicked breaths. He can feel his heart banging away in his chest, “pants.” He croaks out, desperately, “we should both put on pants.”

Part Twenty One

[oprahwinfreyjrjr]

My Favorite Frenchie Looks

Completely subjective and in no particular order.

Bunny crop top? ✅ Knife harness? (Who is he stabbing???) ✅ Plaid pants and a little happy trail? ✅ I love that Frenchie is wanted by the FBI, holed up in a dank basement in Queens, and still has time to look hot and accessorize. This is also the first inkling we got that our boy has style.

I imagine Frenchie was on his way to bake madeleines with this girl he just met, looked in the mirror and thought, “Hmmm…this needs something…” And then he added a little bandanna because he wanted to look cute to impress Kimiko. The flour on the cheeks is a nice touch.

Bare ass naked, covered in blood, and rocking a bicycle lock statement necklace. Okay, technically he did not choose this ensemble but that doesn’t take away the fact that he looks amazing.

Naked and crying 😢

Look how cute and worried he is. I bet Kimiko steals this sweatshirt all the time.

Cute and sassy and prepared to do 8 to 10 in a maximum security prison. I like that he has different colored hair in the flashbacks. It’s a nice character note that Frenchie has always been a bit of a peacock. Also, I think they should let Frenchie wear more jewelry.

This season 4 hair and the sunglasses 🥵🔥

It seems like the Season 4 wardrobe got an upgrade too, possibly courtesy of a fat CIA salary? They knew what they were doing with this slow pan up. The boots are sick, as are the bondage pants. But I love that he’s still wearing this old army jacket that’s barely held together with safety pins and patches. Frenchie is loyal. He loves things, even when they are falling apart.

I love this ugly sweater and the fact that he always customizes his clothes—chopping off the hems, sewing on patches, cutting bigger necklines. (My personal head canon is that after working for Little Nina, Frenchie can’t stand anything tight around his neck.) Frenchie may be a reformed assassin, but he still takes pleasure in beauty.

Finally, I love how as their relationship has evolved, Kimiko and Frenchie’s styles seem to have subtly influenced the other. There are the his and hers ripped jeans, military jackets, and matching combat boots. They just make sense together. 🥰

[skeletoninthemelonland]

IM FINALLY WRITING THE SPRINGDAD X READER THINGY RAHHHH!

But I do have a few questions, just for authenticity’s sake :} Some might of been answered already but I hope not-

How would Will react to being hugged from behind?

Is he a morning person?

Does he use pet names? If so, what are some examples?

Does he drive the kiddos to school, or do they ride the bus?

What would he make for breakfast?

How does he react to flirting? Specifically from someone he’s dating.

Does he take testosterone shots? And while I’m not writing smut, I am curious, does he have bottom surgery done? If not, would he ever get it?

Is Evan in preschool or does he stay home during the day?

How does he sleep? Shirtless, pajama shirt and pants, etc.

I might send more, but these are all I have off the top of my head :]

How would Will react to being hugged from behind?

I think he gets surprise hugs a lot from Mike and Evan (y'know when cubs try to surprise attack their parents and they just pretend to be scared of them? Like that) so he might feel amused at first. I'd say he'd have a very tranquil reaction to it. A small chuckle, then stop whatever he's doing to hug the person back.

Is he a morning person?

He's def a morning person! He is exhausted at the end of the day. He's also the kind of person to take naps after lunch whenever he can.

Does he use pet names? If so, what are some examples?

UM. He does use "love" and "dear", but he might as well say "Meu amor" for special occasions :D

Does he drive the kiddos to school, or do they ride the bus?

Bus! But sometimes Springdad and the children walk to school (I'm pretty sure they use bicycles, too). Pretty sure he knows how to drive, though.

What would he make for breakfast?

Springdad and the kids have a fairly common Brazilian breakfast that usually consists of fruits and French bread. Springdad is the only one in the family who loves coffee (Mike HATES it and opts for drinking milk with Nescau). They also eat pão de queijo and empadinhas, and if they're not rushing to start the day, Springdad makes them pancakes.

How does he react to flirting? Specifically from someone he’s dating.

I personally think he does feel flustered, but disguises it by flirting back. He doesn't exaggerate in flirting, though.

NOTE: Expect Springdad to be an affectionate partner. He doesn't express himself with words as much as he does with actions. I can imagine him placing his hand on his partner's shoulder or squeezing their hand to encourage them and make them feel less anxious during stressful situations. He'd also be the kind of person to wait for their partner to get out of the bus after work, especially during bad weather. He does many acts of service, and if his partner is feeling exhausted/sick, he will insist that they should rest while he takes care of the house chores. He enjoys just having someone's presence, even if they're not directly talking. Oh, and he will ask about their favorite dish!

Does he take testosterone shots? And while I’m not writing smut, I am curious, does he have bottom surgery done? If not, would he ever get it?

He takes testosterone shots!! It took a while for Springdad to save enough money for his bottom surgery, but he does have it at some point.

Is Evan in preschool or does he stay home during the day?

While Evan is still too young, Springdad has to take him to work. If he couldn't do that, he'd call a babysitter (usually Henry or Vanessa :] )

How does he sleep? Shirtless, pajama shirt and pants, etc.

During cold seasons? Yeah sure, he usually wears an old t-shirt. Warm season? Nah. He sleeps shirtless. No blanket. No socks on. AND if it's still hot, he will turn on the fan. (He keeps his pj pants on dw)

[lythea-creation]

Expectations - Shams x fem reader (Chapter 1)

summary: Being the only child of a prestiged father, (f/n) always has to worry about her image. Only Shams can completely take that burden off her shoulders for a while.

warnings: none

word count: 1.087

Author's note: Feel free to check out my Masterlists and make requests. No reposting please! Reblogging, comments and requests are always appreciated <3 If you like the story/my writing, please don't be shy to say it via comments or asks! It takes you a few seconds and might make my day. It's the best appreciation you can show to a writer you like.

Requested? No

------------------------

“Hey (f/n)!”, Tasneem greeted me as I was sitting on my seat and getting out my stuff. “I can't believe we're in the same class.”

I smiled at her and took a sip of water.

“So what do you think? Wanna make another tiktok together? The last one kinda blew up. Our followers seem to love it”, she noted.

“Sure”, I agreed. “But I'm meeting up with Omar later. So we gotta do it in the break.”

“Of course! Girl, I'm so jealous! Omar's literal boyfriend goals”, she declared.

“Make your move then”, I encouraged her.

“You're still just friends? Come on! Why?”, she wondered.

“Why not?”, I shot back. “Just because he's a decently hot guy and we've literally known each other for ages doesn't mean we have to become a couple.”

“It basically does though”, she claimed.

I had to suppress a groan at her statement. Why did everybody have to insist on that?

“Oh. Hitchcock's in our class”, Hiba announced as Shams entered the classroom.

Anger bubbled up inside of me. All I wanted to do was to stand up for Shams, but we had settled on avoiding each other at school as it might harm my image to be seen with her.

Luckily the topic shifted quickly when Sarah started talking to Tasneem.

So I decided to get a head start and began studying. After all I needed to keep up my good grades this term.

When the first day after the holidays was finally over, I could not wait to get to my favorite siblings.

I walked for a few minutes until I reached the meeting point where Shams picked me up with her bicycle.

“Ready to get home?”, she inquired with a grin.

“You have no idea”, I shot back and hurried onto the saddle.

I could easily not hold on without falling off, but I definitely would not waste this opportunity to hold onto Shams tightly, daring to lean against her.

“You're really pushing your luck, (f/n)”, she complained teasingly.

She was always claiming that she could not focus on keeping us driving when I was this close.

When we entered her home, the first thing we did was getting us a glass of ice water. It had somehow become a ritual whenever I came over because we used to stay out in the sun for far too long when we were kids, obviously dehydrating in the process.

Suddenly Omar walked into the kitchen as well.

“Why aren't you wearing a shirt?”, Shams questioned, frowning at her brother's naked upper body.

“I just came out of the shower”, he enlightened us.

An idea popped up in my mind and I could not help but act on it.

Before Omar realized what was happening I had fished and ice cube out of my glass and slipped it into his pants.

“Ah, you little ...”, he screamed out and jumped around due to the coldness. It was a hilarious sight and Shams breaking out in laughter was absolutely worth it.

“You're so gonna regret this”, he threatened me as soon as he got back to his senses.

I did not hesitate to run away as he was chasing me.

“Help”, I called out.

Of course, Shams supported me and made her brother trip over her foot, leading him to stumble to the ground.

“That's so not fair”, he grumbled and stayed down.

I exchanged a glance with Shams, who shook her head no.

After a while I warily approached Omar, feeling slightly guilty for pranking him and then teaming up against him. But that immediately changed when he took a hold of my ankle, then my wrist. He had caught me.

“(f/n), you're too naive sometimes”, Shams noted.

Before any of us could stop him, he grabbed my glass and emptied it over my head. Several ice cubes plus water as revenge for one.

“Omar!”, I cursed. “Have you gone crazy? Shit!”

Now he was the one laughing and out of the corner of my eyes I recognized that Shams was barely holding in her laughter as well.

“Oh no! You don't get to laugh at me”, I exclaimed and enveloped her in a hug.

“Ugh, guys! I didn't even do anything”, she reminded us as her clothes were soaked now.

“You just watched”, I remarked.

“Which you didn't complain about when you were the culprit”, she pointed out.

“Of course”, I agreed.

After a few seconds we all started laughing again. None of us could hold a grudge against each other for long.

“Let's get some dry clothes”, Shams suggested and pulled me to her room.

“Hey! I thought you were gonna hang out with me”, Omar interjected.

“You don't seriously expect me to stay like this”, I shot back.

“You can take my clothes”, he offered desperately.

“What's your problem?”, Shams wondered, still not letting go of my hand.

“Well … I may be her best friend, but you're her girlfriend. I know you both too well. As soon as she enters your room I'll be forgotten for at least the next hour”, he assumed.

“We're not THAT bad”, I claimed.

“How many stories do I need to tell you?”, he questioned.

“Okay, okay. We got it”, Shams stopped him. “She'll be right back.”

When we arrived in her room, Shams got some clothes for me and herself and then disappeared in the bathroom.

“Why are you doing that to me?”, I whined.

Hope was filling me when she opened the door, but she closed it again after throwing a towel in my face.

Defeated I began drying myself off and putting her clothes on. The fact that they were a bit too big for me was making it even more comfortable.

“I promised Omar we wouldn't take long”, Shams finally answered while getting out of the bathroom.

“I will let him wait a bit longer though”, she declared and pulled me into a passionate kiss that almost turned into a serious make-out session.

“Now go or I'll keep you”, she warned me.

I was just as reluctant to go as she was to let me. But I knew she was right. I was hanging out with Omar today, not with Shams. It would not be fair to let him down.

-------------------------

Next Chapter

Well ... I planned to write a Oneshot, but I couldn't help it and now I'm turning it into a series. Yeah, I know! Another Shams series ... I can't help myself. She's my favorite after all!

I hope you like the first chapter. Feel free to send me suggestions if you have any.

Btw I absolutely love that picture of Shams!

Tag List: @sunwoniie

[fanfiction-butterfree]

THE NANNY NAMED LUIGI

CHAPTER II: Airplanes and Early mornings

Koopa Man: This is your pilot speaking. Thank you for flying Air Goomba. We should be arriving at Shadow City International Airport in just under 5 hours. The skies are relatively clear so we expect only a slight amount of turbulence. 

Luigi sighed as he stared out of the airplane window. In just 7 hours he'd be at Bowser's Castle to act as the nanny for the Koopalings and their brother Bowser Junior. He still didn't know how his brother managed to convince him to take the job. Then again he hadn't managed to get a job since he'd been fired by his fiance, so maybe he was just open to any suggestion.  

Goomba Steward: The emergency exits are located there and there. 

The goomba gestured towards the orange colored emergency exits.

The green dressed Mario brother looked around the cabin. 

There were Toads on their way to vacation. 

Business Koopas on their way home. 

Humans who would transfer to a plane headed to the Luncheon Kingdom for a wedding. 

And a few others whose goals varied from migration to a short vacation. 

As the plane's engines revved up, and the fasten seatbelt sign went on, the emerald clad human closed his eyes, hoping to get some sleep before he arrived at his destination. 

The means people used to travel in this world were as diverse as the beings that inhabited it. 

There were cars, bicycles, motorcycles, and hot air balloons. Trams, buses, trains, and blimps. There were planes, ships, koopa copters, and spaceships. There were things I had yet to mention and that most people of our world had yet to imagine. 

But of all the methods used to traverse distances, the most famous was the warp pipe. A technological marvel that could get you from A to B in a fraction of the time it took all but the fastest commercial planes. 

It was, sadly, also the least comfortable, most expensive to build, and hardest to maintain form of transportation. Which is why it was generally only built when money was no option. Such as in certain government buildings so doctors, politicians, military, aid workers, and refugees could easily get to an allied nation or a nearby province. Or temporarily in the case sporting events, or kidnappings. 

Teenage Male Koopa: GIMME THAT! 

Slightly Younger Male Koopa: NO IT'S MINE! 

Teenage Male Koopa: YOU DON'T EVEN USE IT! 

Much Younger Male Koopa: I'M TELLING DAD!

Bowser woke up like he did every morning to the sound of his children arguing over something. 

Teenage Male Koopa & Slightly Younger Male Koopa: DON'T YOU DARE!! 

Much Younger Male Koopa: DAD! 

In this case the argument was between three of his least favorite kids. 

Even Younger Male Koopa: IGGY AND LEMMY ARE FIGHTING AGAIN! 

Iggy & Lemmy: SHUT UP LARRY!

Larry started crying

Bowser: KNOCK IT OFF OR I'M SENDING YOU ALL TO BOARDING SCHOOL ON THE MOON! 

There was a moment of silence before the three brothers started laughing. 

Bowser sighed. 

He knew he wouldn't send them to boarding school, and they knew he wouldn't send them to boarding school, but at least they stopped fighting and that was all he really wanted. 

Bowser got up and looked in the mirror. After a month without Kamek's help, he looked and felt tired. He'd grown a beard, the same shade of red as his mane. Normally he'd shave it, but he felt too tired to even try to. 

He put on a white dress shirt with french cuffs and a spread collar, silver cufflinks shaped like his logo, a navy blazer with gold buttons with his logo on them , Khaki colored dress pants, white socks, brown leather dress shoes, a red silk tie in a half windsor knot, a gold pocket watch, and a forest green shell with white spikes.

Normally he'd just wear a shell and some spiked wristbands, but he had a conference in two days, so he had to get used to dressing up. 

He didn't mind the clothes, in fact they felt quite good, but in his mind he wasn't the type of guy who would wear them. Or wear a beard, or do a lot of things for that matter. 

He looked at his watch. 

Bowser: Three hours till Mario's brother gets here. I hope he lasts longer than the last one.

The king muttered to himself. 

Somewhere in the skies near the coast of the Darklands an Air Goomba plane was preparing to make its final approach to Shadow City International Airport. 

Shyguy Stewardess: Sir, wake up, we're almost at our final destination. 

Luigi: Wuh huh? 

Luigi slowly got up. 

He'd been able to sleep through most of the flight, only waking once to go to the toilet, once to stretch, and once to eat his breakfast. His breakfast consisted of an omelet with fried mushrooms and fire flower, some somewhat stale bread, an assortment of overripe fruit native to the Mushroom kingdom, and some coffee, which he'd been told was a type popular in the Darklands, and was unfortunately the best part of the meal. While it had been a bit too dark for his taste, he still enjoyed it. 

The landing had been uneventful, some passengers had clapped, but that was nothing out of the ordinary.

The lesser known Mario brother thought of his situation as he made his way through the airport. He'd met Bowser only a few times in his life, and couldn't remember the last time they'd exchanged more than a few words. Even after Bowser's wife died a few years ago, he'd only sent him a short letter offering his condolences, and never gotten a reply. And now he was on his way to babysit the man's children. 

He giggled nervously. 

The only time he'd babysat anything was his neighbor's Yoshi, and even that almost went wrong. 

He made his way to Darklands Customs and Border Protection.

Koopa Woman: Passport? 

Luigi showed his passport

Koopa Woman: Business or Pleasure?

Luigi: Business

Koopa Woman: Staying long? 

Luigi: I hope not! 

Koopa Woman: Haven't heard that in a while. 

Luigi chuckled nervously

Koopa Woman: Luigi … Mario? Huh, same last name as Mario Mario. 

Luigi: He's my brother

He smiled proudly. 

The koopa burst into laughter

Koopa Woman: Yeah right! And I'm the queen of the Darklands! 

She regained her composure

Koopa Woman: Regardless everything checks out. Welcome to the Darklands mister Mario. 

The man in green finished going through security, got his luggage, and walked outside, somewhat disheartened by what happened at customs. 

Shyguy Driver: Linguine Mario? Lugini Mario? I'm here for a Loogy Mario! 

Luigi: It's Luigi. 

Shyguy Driver: Can I see your passport ? 

The shyguy looked at it briefly 

Shyguy Driver: Looks good. Ok, get in the car. 

Luigi nodded, and got in the car. 

Shyguy Driver: Lets hope you don't end like the last ones. 

He muttered to himself. 

Time is a funny thing. Seconds can feel like minutes, minutes can feel like hours, hours can feel like days, and days can feel like years. Or in the case of one unfortunate King Bowser, ruler of the Darklands. Hours can feel like Centuries. 

Bowser looked at his watch. 

Bowser: 3 minutes till he's here. 

His children were all waiting in front of the door. 

He'd told them that he'd send them to the moon if they what they did to the last people that babysat them.

Not that it mattered, he was too tired to do anything, let alone punish them if they did what he feared they were going to do to Mario's brother . 

The doorbell rang.

Teenage Female Koopa: Ready! 

A security guard opened the door remotely

Oldest Teenage Male Koopa: Aim! 

The door opened

Second Oldest Teenage Male Koopa: FIRE! 

Bowser: NO! 

Bowser reacted too late. In unison the Koopalings blew scarlet balls of fire at their unfortunate target. 

Iggy: That was number 39! 

The crimson firestorm which wrapped around the figure in the doorway, gave way to emerald and viridian flames, behind which were intense eyes which seemed to burn with lime green fire. 

The mix of red and green fire dissipated as the man dressed in green dusted himself off. 

As he looked around the room, his composure shifted from intense anger to an equally intense nervousness

Luigi: Hello… I'm…

Bowser: The Nanny. 

[rosze-v]

red bean soup and the color yellow

pairing: Midousuji Akira x Reader

synopsis: you, the morning girl, a cold night, red bean soup and a scenery he had forgotten

tags: MAJOR MIDOUSUJI PAST SPOILER! , fluff, sunshine x grumpy/cold trope (hihi)

w.c : 1.6k

a/n: Halu! So, I finished YowaPeda season 4 and I'm waiting for season 5 to finish airing and I just want to say, I absolutely love!!!! the anime. I am so angry that its so underrated what?? Its such a good anime, with amazing character, one of the best sports anime antagonists (wink wonk), great plot and just absolutely amazing. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WATCH IT!!! Also, its literally criminal how there’s so little YowaPeda crumb?? So, I decided to start writing for the fandom!! All in all, I hope you have fun reading!

You were craving for some melon bread and ice cream that night. Without much thought, you hopped on your bicycle and went on to your nearest convenience store. A smile spread on your cheeks because the air is cold enough and somehow, tonight feels more calming than other nights. From a far, you could see the glaring lights of the store as you pedal harder.

Once you placed your bicycle at its rightful place, you eagerly went into the store and picked out your cravings. The cashier scanned through your items, three melon breads, two chocolate vanilla ice cream and a can of hot red bean soup. With your goods in your hand, the customers could definitely see the slight hops on your feet, indicating how happy you are.

“Yosh, tonight I’m watching some Attack on Ti- Midousuji?”. You recognized that lanky build, he’s pretty much the only guy you’ve ever seen with such long legs and long arms. He’s wearing black cycling pants, and a fitted, black sports shirt that covers his arms and neck. Upon hearing his name being called, he glances over to you, his eyebrows scrunched, trying to remember where he saw you. Though he’s wearing a white mask, from his big eyes alone you knew he’s trying to remember who you are.

“Morning girl?”. Midousuji mumbled as you give him a toothy grin, walking towards him and plopping yourself beside him. Midousuji cringed as he subconsciously scoots a bit from you. His action didn’t hurt you though, you knew he’s wary of you.

“Its (y/n), How could you forget your own classmate’s name! that’s so not cute”. You complain a pout forming on your lips, tilting your head at him. Though you complain, you also knew that he does not really mingle with your classmates, he preferred to be alone, listening away to his songs from his black ear buds.

But ever since you saw him racing with his cycling club team mates, and seeing how much cycling filled him with life, you greeted him morning every day. Reason? you’re not really sure but maybe you’re just curious of Midousuji, eyes darting towards him in class or whenever he leaves for lunch. Your sudden interest on him was so obvious that your friends had called you out, asking you if you have a crush on him. Of course, you could only shake your head while your heart beats in wonder.

“What are you doing all alone in this cold night?”. You asked, scanning through him and noticing a slight shiver on his body. Well, it has gotten much colder, and compared to your fluffy jogger pants and your long-sleeved shirt, Midousuji is probably freezing his butt off. You reached in your bag and pull out the red bean soup, handing it to him.

He raises his eyebrow as you say. “Go on, you’re cold right?”.

“Its okay-“.

“You’re shivering Midou-kun, either you take this can or I’m holding your hands”. You teased, nudging him with your elbow as he side eyes you, a slight blush forming on his cheeks. You chuckled as you took out your ice cream, fumbling for the small spoon. A content sound came out of your mouth while Midousuji questions how you could eat ice cream on such cold night.

“So… again, why are you here?”. The lanky men stretch his legs, as he sips on the red bean, warmth filling him up. He contemplates on what to say, unsure of the right words to say in these kinds of situations.

“Just… needed to clear my mind”. You nodded, your body swaying along with your nod as you stare into the dark road.

It’s true, Midousuji had went out to clear his mind, plagued by thoughts on his cycling performance lately, his school works, and a slight heaviness on his chest when his mind wanders to the faces of his mother. He had noticed the cold air when he was sprinting through the road, so he thought he wanted to buy some hot packs. It was only when he got off his bike, he realized that he didn’t bring any money in his small bag, and that’s how you found him sitting on the side of the store.

“Come, I want to show you something”. His big eyes glance at your face then glances back at your hand, weighing the pros and cons of taking your hand. Fuck it, he thought, clasping your hand as you pull him up. Both of you then went over to your bikes, and when you were mounting your bike, the man suddenly appeared beside you, his tall build startling you.

The silence between the both of you were thick and frankly, you can’t stand it anymore. So, you stood up, standing in front of Midousuji as he looks at you, startled at your sudden action. You give him a smile as you held out your hand.

“Oh my god Midousuji, give me a heads-up next time”. He snorted as he responds.

“Let’s go, we have class tomorrow”.

“Yes, yes Midou-sama”. He rolled his eyes at your mocking address of him as you began cycling and Midousuji following suit. It didn’t take you long before you reach your destination. You lay your bike against the tree and Midousuji did the same as excitement courses through you.

“I need you to cover your eyes”. You said giddily as Midousuji sigh.

“And what for”.

“Then how the hell am I gonna go there”. You grin as you reach for his hand, clasping it tight. Midousuji could feel his chest tightening at your sudden skinship, while he gives in to your demand and closes his eyes.

“It’s a surprise! Come on, close your eyes”.

“Hold onto my shoulder using your other hand”, and Midousuji did as he instructed, his cold palms creating shivers around your shoulder yet warms his hand. A blush spreads through your cheek as you realize how close the both of you are. You shake your head as you walk carefully to the secret place.

Midousuji can feel the grass touching his legs and when you came to a stop, you had taken your hands back. The man took it as a sign to open his eyes and when he did, he had to blink his eyes a few times to adjust to the sudden brightness. When his eyes finally adjusted, he could see you first, grinning at him with your head tilted to the side and your hands clasped behind your back. Then his eyes wander around and finally, he realized what made everything so bright.

Fireflies, everywhere around him, floating, flying across his eyes, the ambience triggers a nostalgia in him. It’s been so long he thought, seeing fireflies. He could feel a childish excitement creeping inside of him, as his hand reaches out for a firefly. The firefly he reached flew away before his finger tips could touch the light. Rustling steps move towards him as you stand in front of him, your hands holding something in your palms.

“Look, I caught one for you”. Midousuji stares down into your hand, a firefly blinking its light for him. Subconsciously, Midousuji shows his palm to you, and gently, you place the firefly in his hand.

“Gently Midou-kun, don’t squeeze it”. He nods as he examines the firefly, his hands ever so gentle, a small smile appearing on his lips.

You had never really thought how attractive Midousuji is, your attraction towards him were merely curiosity. Yet here, with a firefly in his hands and a childish smile on his lips, you could feel blood pumping into your veins faster. Though the smile falters immediately when the firefly flew away, Midousuji’s hand fell on his side. You laugh as you pull his hand and walk a bit further, pulling him down to sit once you reach a tree.

The both of you sit in silence, eyes wandering at how beautiful the fireflies are. A warmth settles between the little space dividing the both of you, creating a sense of tranquil. You peeked at Midousuji, who’s eyes huge and lit, his mouth slightly open. You smile to yourself, so cute, you thought.

“You wanna know what will make this better?”. Midousuji’s trance shifted towards you.

“What?”.

“Give me your phone and earbuds”. He pursed his lips, thinking if he should share a shred of his privacy but he gave in. It’s the least he could do after you show him such scenery.

Midousuji eyes your finger, scrolling through the little amount of apps he have and your hands tap on the app YouTube. You tapped on the search bar and histories of things related to road racing came up and you smirked. After searching for the song, you hand him the left earbud while you hook in the right bud in your right ear. You play the song and Midousuji tries to focus on the song and he realized its in English.

“What’s the name of the song?”. Midousuji asked as he stares at you who’s attention is on the scenery in front.

“Yellow”.

“Why did you choose this song?”. You turn your head towards him, a smile on your face and Midousuji’s heart skips a beat.

“Well the fireflies are yellow you know!”. Midousuji grumbled at your remark, as you laughed at your joke and at how taken aback the boy look. He mumbled an, obviously its yellow, dumbass.

“And because you’re yellow…”. You whispered, hiding your face in between your knees, hoping he didn’t hear you. But he did, and he wanted to question you but he decided against it. You, the fireflies, the song Yellow, the lingering heat and Midousuji’s hand on top of yours, squeezing it; thanking you.

And maybe one day he’ll know why he’s yellow, and how he shines, or how beautiful he is, and how much everything he does is becoming yellow in your eyes.

[meri-joly]

🎀 😳 Daddy Takes Meri Back to School and Teaches 🚠 🏡 💨 ☄ 🦦 🍒 🍓 🍿 🎢 🌆

Meri is sitting in her high chair baby seat waiting for the rest of her breakfast with "Daddy" as she drinks her baby formula. She has a little morning dress on and a bib! Her hair is flowing in curls, shining and sparkling. Her strong blue eyes twinkle in wonder. She wiggles her legs excitedly. The rest of the children are running around. Of course, they are all in high school.

Meri is readied for school and all pile in the vehicle to "get to class." This time, a different adult drives them all, as it is a taxing activity. Meri is nuzzled in Mister White Chocolate's lap, and he coaxes and strokes her to sleep on the substantial ride to school. Of course, that is why she is settled, in his lap, so she won't be restless and work her heart.

Meri is in the youngest grade. So, now, she is taking 1. Literature 2. History 3. Science 4. Math 5. Dance Team 6. Foreign European Languages 7. Art & Music

Mister White Chocolate teaches her history class, watches her dance, and teaches music and French. Meri doesn't know which class is her favorite, maybe French or music. She is very good at literature. She gets all A+'s. She does her homework diligently, and she is very organized. She is not the most focused. Still, she never talks out of turn.

Finally, school is over. There was an "assembly," and since she does dance team instead of PE, she gets her dance outfit on after that and goes to march in a parade, her kind of assignment anyway. Most of the school goes and sees her. She has great stamina from eating well and plenty and makes it all through. Of course, it's a special day.

It's over, and it's getting colder. Mister White Chocolate puts a long sweater on her and her soft boot cut pants. He carries a little girl with yellow curls who is crying. She has sparkly, bright blue eyes and a little of bangs. Meri leaves early and rides her bicycle home. It takes 30 minutes. It's Friday.

Meri takes a shower and puts on her clothes to go to the mall, herself. She runs into a few friends...

She is there late, of course eats, and goes home and showers and gets in bed and goes over her blog and is able to go to sleep.

She wakes up on Saturday and is watching cartoons as breakfast is prepared for them all. She sips her baby formula.

Then, off to her shower and getting dressed. She goes to get her "schoolbooks" out, and Mister White Chocolate comes in and gently grasps her wrist. "Come on, Sweet Heart," he says as he picks her up and hugs her, "It's not time for you to study." He carries her out and undresses her and puts on a sun outfit, helps her to her "sun tan lotion" 😉, and carries her out to the car and takes her swimming. She has great fun. Other friends come along and then they go out and eat good burgers, with good hot dogs, and that's basically it. They're grilled over a fire. Meri watches the flames and wears her sunglasses. Mister White Chocolate "wraps his arm around her" and holds her back a bit with a grip and lifts her up to let her sit against his bosom and watch the fire from there. 😉 Finally, night comes along, and home all go.

Sunday comes along, and it's time for "mass," Catholics, Jews, Protestants/"Christians..." what have you?

After church is finished, they all go to a decent restaurant, which includes a Chinese and Japanese buffet. It smells very nice. Meri sits by herself and has a great time and watches an animation she likes on her tablet.

It's time to go home, and it's afternoon. The kids go out in their skimpy "clothes" and play.

Finally, Mister White Chocolate tucks in Meri. She's anxious and scared, so Mister White Chocolate picks her up and sits in a nice soft sofa chair in her room with her and rocks her to sleep, promising Monday will be a great day, for all.

[dadjokestop]

Ready to crack up some teenagers? Here’s a collection of hilarious jokes for 13-year-olds! These jokes are fun, relatable, and guaranteed to get some laughs. Let’s dive into the laughter! Fun and Laughs: Jokes to Share Here are 30 jokes for 13-year-olds that are sure to spark giggles! 1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? “Because they make up everything!” 2. How does a penguin build its house? “Igloos it together!” 3. Why did the scarecrow win an award? “Because he was outstanding in his field!” 4. What do you call fake spaghetti? “An impasta!” 5. Why did the bicycle fall over? “Because it was two-tired!” 6. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? “Nacho cheese!” 7. Why did the math book look sad? “Because it had too many problems!” 8. How do you organize a space party? “You planet!” 9. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? “Frostbite!” 10. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? “In case he got a hole in one!” 11. What did the left eye say to the right eye? “Between you and me, something smells!” 12. Why did the computer go to the doctor? “Because it had a virus!” 13. What did one wall say to the other wall? “I’ll meet you at the corner!” 14. How does a snowman get around? “By riding an ‘icicle!’” 15. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? “They don’t have the guts!” 16. What did the big flower say to the little flower? “Hey, bud!” 17. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? “Because it felt crummy!” 18. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? “Sofishticated!” 19. Why did the student eat his homework? “Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!” 20. How do you catch a squirrel? “Climb a tree and act like a nut!” 21. What do you call a bear with no teeth? “A gummy bear!” 22. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!” 23. Why was the math book sad? “It had too many problems!” 24. What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backward? “A receding hare-line!” 25. Why do fish live in saltwater? “Because pepper makes them sneeze!” 26. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? “A pouch potato!” 27. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? “Because all of the fans left!” 28. How do you make a tissue dance? “Put a little boogie in it!” 29. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? “Because he had no body to go with him!” 30. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? “An abdominal snowman!” Share the Laughs! These jokes for 13-year-olds are perfect for sharing with friends at school, parties, or just for a fun laugh at home. So gather your friends and get ready to enjoy some hilarious moments together!

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

How do they meet? Great question. You see, Kate Bishop decides she wants to fight Deathstroke. Why? Unclear. She thinks it would be fun.

Deadpool, however, disagrees. Kate is very talented but Wade has no desire to see her turned into a kebab (there are also lots of very inappropriate jokes about stabbing/swords/guts being rearranged/etc). Turns out Kate's combat plan was irritating the SHIT out of Deathstroke. Again, the why is unclear. Wade is not the sort of man to question these impulses. He does manage to convince Kate that he should fight Deathstroke while Kate enjoys snacks and heckles from the sidelines.

If it was anyone besides Wade suggested this, Kate would REJECT this idea. But it IS Wade, and she and Jeff miss Gwen, who is OBVIOUSLY a member of the Deadpool Death Cheer Squad. Gwen thinks the whole thing is stupid and hilarious, she makes several jokes about name-brand and off-brand, asks Wade if he and Slade are married or divorced, who took the other's last name, "ohhhh I see why you're into Cable now--"

Slade is just heaving the DEEPEST of sighs he did not ASK for this shit, and Wade is like "oh no pookie is the magic gone? :((( you don't love me anymore?? :(((((" and Slade, at this point, doesn't know if he and Deadpool DID get married and he suppressed the memory, or if Wade is gaslighting him with the help of his...friend? Partner? Girlfriend? Person whose honor he is defending? He can't figure out the relationship. There are so many innuendos, is he being propositioned for a threesome in a very bloody and annoying way?

Anyway. The fight is under way and Rose comes over to see what her old man is doing (and also because the Law of Pool requires it). "So this is where the hot girls sit?" This question is fully directed at Gwen, Kate would be a little insulted except Wade has ripped off his tear away pants to reveal that he is wearing neon pink short shorts so she's a little distracted. ("It clashes with your top!" "You're not supposed to be heckling ME!!")

Rose sits next to Gwen. They scoot closer and closer until Gwen has no choice but to throw a leg over Rose's. She informs Gwen that she stole her dad's credit card and asks her to dinner. After some consideration, Jeff is also invited.

They ride off into the sunset. Don't ask where the tandem bicycle came from, it's not important.

oohhh nooooo Gwenpool and Rose Wilson oh noooooo

[raggaraddy]

Opportune

My Cruel Kidnapper: Chapter Seven

Yandere! Jungkook

Summary: You see the chance to escape. Freedom is right there. But should you take it?

Trigger warnings: Imprisonment, restraints, threats, violence, kidnapping, swearing, abuse. 18+ readers only.

A/n: If you are new to this story, please go to the cover page for the chapter list and the story disclaimer. 18+ readers only.

Enjoy.  💜💜💜

Previous Chapter

Your mind is at war. 

He shouldn't have been able to do that to you. You shouldn't have felt that kind of way- not with him. 

Laying in a whimpering, tear-soaked mess, you're in pain, filled with self-pity, and racked by guilt that you can not entirely understand. Feeling as if you are being consumed by a numb void until Jungkook comes out of the bathroom and once again, all your attention goes to him.

"Are you just going to lay in bed crying all day?" He scoffs accusedly.  Seeming frustrated, almost repulsed by your crying. 

I can't move, you ass! is what you scream at him- but only in your mind. You didn't go through all of that to derail your plans now. You need to do what you can to grit your teeth and bear it. Don't fight him. Be appeasing. Wait until an opportune moment, or until you are saved.

In place of any kind of truthful remark, you stay silent. Sighing in defeat as you sink your head deeper into the pillow. Your gaze fixated on the blank ceiling.

Coming into your eye line Jungkook jumps onto the bed, throwing his leg over your waist. While you restrain yourself enough at first, as his hand reaches up to your cheeks you can not keep yourself from bucking away. 

"You know, it's cute how you always flinch." He laughs, roughly grabbing the sides of your face to insist that you comply. 

The smug look he has fills your chest with a fit of white, hot anger. Eating you from the inside out. Does he think this is entertaining?! Is he having fun?! What if he were the one being treated like this? If he were the one who couldn't fight back? He would flinch. He would cry too! And then to mock you on top of that? He is irredeemable. You hate him so much.

His lingering touch slowly raises up, caressing along your arms, making too much-unwanted contact as he uncuffs you. When finally he climbs off your lap, you spring upright, quickly adjusting your shirt. Pulling it down as low as you can take it. Trying to ignore the cold, wet, sticky feeling that is pooled between your legs.

Sat there, consumed with a mix of visceral emotions as you rub your bruised wrists, the one you can feel the most is anxiety. You're obsessed with every move he's making, anticipating anything he might do. Every single thing he has done so far has been nightmare-ish. And you can't shake the fear that it is only going to keep getting worse.

Flinching again, you yelp softly in reaction to him throwing something at you. Harmlessly landing on the bed, though, is a pair of boy-cut shorts. 

"You want to wear them?" He points to the underwear.

It takes a second for your mind to race through what he said, what the possible negative ramifications might be, and what to say back. You're so traumatised that even a simple gesture has you second-guessing everything. You decide on nothing as a response and waste no time getting off his bed and putting on the additional clothing. They're too big, they sit like bicycle shorts on you. But for the first time in days, you feel somewhat protected. 

It feels strangely wonderful. You never would have expected how consequential underwear or pants were until you were in this very specific, very vulnerable situation.

He's standing in front of you dressed in grey sweat pants and a loose white tee. His hair is still wet from his shower, and it's even darker because of it. It's spiked up at strange angles from his hand running through it. He's watching you again with that zoned-out stare that he has. Making you shift uncomfortably. Looking in any other direction to avoid making eye contact.

"I just realized I haven't fed you yet." He gasps. "You must be starving." You can see his thoughts trail off and a smirk creeps it's way onto his face. "Well, I haven't fed you food anyway," he blurts out under his breath, his smirk turning to a full smile, verging on a laugh. 

What a pig. 

Holding his hand out he turns to the door, but steps further towards you, motioning for you to take his offer. "Com'on, I'll make you something to eat." 

Now that he has finally mentioned food you're realizing that you haven't eaten in 2 and a half days. You are starving, but with everything else that has been going on, food has been the last thing on your mind. Even now, you feel more queasy than hungry.

Reluctantly you accept his hand, gnawing the inside of your cheek to try to curtail your disgusted expression. Despite your subtle attempts to wriggle out of his grip, he doesn't let go until he sits you down at the kitchen bench.  

Observing him cook, smelling the onions, ham, and mushrooms sizzling in the pan you're nearly salivating. Never would you have thought a simple omelette could look so appetizing.  

The moment he sets the plate in front of you, however, something distant catches your eye. On the other side of the kitchen, just out of your reach is an unattended chef's knife. Jungkook has sat down at the far end of the bench to your right. There is nothing between it and you at this moment. 

Your mind starts working a hundred miles a minute. With where he is sitting he could never reach you before you were able to get to it.

This is too golden of a chance to pass it up. But you can't simply lunge for it. If you miss or knock it onto the floor he'll surely realize what you're trying, and you'll be without the knife to protect yourself.

Fear of missing such a perfect shot makes your heart start to beat in your ears. You can't screw this up!

Planning your moves you accidentally get food on your hand. You lick it clean, but fake and mime as if there is an excess amount of stickiness left. Standing up without a word, you walk as paced as possible to the other side of the benchtop, hoping he thinks you are just going to the sink. Hoping that your sub-par acting stops Jungkook from being suspicious.

And he isn't. He doesn't bat an eye. He doesn't even seem to be paying any attention.

This is your chance!

Snatching the knife, you hold it at arm's length in Jungkook's direction. Tightly clenching it between your two palms. Standing strong and braced. But he doesn't react. He's hardly moved. Only his elbow is lifted up resting on the bench. Looking at you with lacklustre disbelief, his mouth hanging slightly ajar. His expression looking to ask you wouldn't be that stupid, would you?

Disregarding you, he returns to his breakfast. Completely unphased. 

Uncertainty hits you like an oncoming truck.

You're already shaking with terror, but his lack of reaction is causing an emotion in you that is so intense and raw that you have to stifle the urge to be sick. 

"Hey!" You shriek, "Don't look away from me! You- unless you want to be stabbed you should- you need to put your hands down. On the table. Put them flat." Mentally you berate yourself for sounding so unfocused and weak. This isn't the tone you wanted to take. 

Unbothered, Jungkook looks up again. A small, closed mouth smile telling you how unintimidating he finds you. It's infuriating because it means that he's not taking you seriously. As if he doesn't see the weapon in your hands. As if he thinks you're not capable of hurting him.

Straightening up you take a half-step forward. Small cracks click from your stiff back as you try to appear taller and more confident. 

"Now!" You howl, using volume to further assert your authority. Hoping to god that he can't see the shake in your hands.

Restaining a laugh, he raises his hands in a playful surrender, laying them as you instructed, palms flat on the bench. Not taking his eyes off you as he does. Not even blinking. 

It's completely disorientating. 

Maybe this was a bad idea. You don't know that if it comes down to you versus him that you can beat him. Even with a weapon. You panicked when you saw it just sitting there. Maybe you shouldn't have done this. He doesn't seem worried at all. How are you supposed to beat crazy?

"Now what?" he snickers.

You just- you just have to figure out how to get out of here. You have to follow through. He must have a key to the front door. 

"Give me the keys," You demand, keeping the knife firmly in between the two of you as a source of protection. Trying to ignore his wide-eyed, unblinking stare. 

"What keys?" He teases, his voice raising. 

Oh god! Why isn't this working? Why isn't he doing what you say? 

You're starting to wheeze. This is insane. What is he going to do to you if this doesn't work? What happens if you don't get out of here? This was such a bad fucking idea! 

"Stop!" Your voice cracks. Your heavy breaths fill your words. "You know what keys I'm talking about. The ones for the front door. Give' em. Now!" 

You need to get out of here this instant. You're beyond petrified. You have to rid the doubt from your mind. You have the power. You have the knife. You're fine. I'm going to get out of here. Stay focused. You'll be safe and won't have to think about Jungkook ever again once you're free. 

He doesn't respond. Inch by inch you move around the bench until you come the end and only open space is standing between you and Jungkook. You know to stay back. You can't give him any chance to grab you. 

"Jungkook. Now!" All strength disappears and all that is left is a plead. 

"No." His casual reply makes your head spin. The ground falling out from under you. 

"What are you talking about?" You squeal. On the brink of tears. Barely able to hold yourself together let alone keep up a facade of dominance. "Give me the keys. Now! Or I'll stab you!"

You have a knife. You're finally the one in control. He's supposed to say yes not no. He's supposed to be scared.

"Go on then; stab me." He shrugs. His aloof, cold demeanour pushes you past panic and helps you focus your rage and momentarily shore your voice, giving it much needed steadiness and power.

"Listen here, you fucking lunatic. You have put me through hell, and I swear to God if you don't give me the key right now, I am going to-" he talks over you. Loudly and firmly cutting you off. 

"No, you listen you stupid bitch. Because I'm going to give you one chance, just one chance to put down your little toy and then get on your knees like a good girl." His smile becomes wide and toothy. He is revelling in this. In his threat. In your fear. "Or you can keep this up and see how all those scary things I said I could do become reality."

You're wringing the handle but for a second you almost lose your grip on the knife. You're trembling. Your knees are weak. It feels as if you could collapse with just a tap. A replaying of every horrid, terrifying thing he has threatened begins to flit through your head. And for a split instant, you have the thought to do what he says. To throw down the knife, drop to your knees, and beg his forgiveness. Beg him not to hurt you. To not kill you.

But you can't. You see the cruelty in his eye. The sparkle of enjoyment. You don't trust that he won't hurt you. And you know that should he keep his word and not retaliate, this psycho doesn't think some of what he has done is harming you. Even in the best-case scenario where he gives you full amnesty, he is still going to force himself on you again. He's still going to tie you down again. To touch you again. And given time he is still going to hit you again. And surely he will end up killing you.

And once this opportunity is gone, he will certainly be even more careful going forward.

No. It's now or never. You have to get out. You just have to! 

"Jungkook," Your voice is uncontrollably coming out as a hushed, timid whisper. "Please just give me the keys." you plead again.

His eyes are boring their malicious nature into yours. Reading you. Giving you the chance to rethink your answer and cave to his demands. But you don't accept.  

"Fine." He states. His icy calm sends a shiver down your neck. Slowly he slips his hand into his pants pocket keeping his palm open and in view the whole time, showing you exactly what he is doing. He pulls out a bundle of keys that are all looped together, holding them in his forefinger and thumb. Crassly he sets them on the bench and slides them over to you.

This is it!

A ripple of excitement and fear attacks you as you snatch them up. Seizing the keys to your freedom.

In a thoughtless reaction, you stumble back, preparing to bolt to the front door, but catch yourself. You need to make sure Jungkook can't follow you. You have to be smart.

"Stand!" You bark. To your disdain, that goddamned smirk has returned to his face. But thankfully he does as you say. "Move," You point to the far door in the kitchen. The one that leads down the hallway into the dungeon-like room.

He follows your instruction slowly. Too slowly. You're planted firmly and buzzing with impatience but you don't follow after him until he reaches the first door, keeping a sufficient distance between you two. He opens the door and takes a step down the dark hallway, turning over his shoulder to look back at you.

"Go." You demand, deathly strangling the handle.

After what feels like an eternity filled with time that could allow for everything to go wrong, he, at last, opens the door at the end of the hallway giving you a final cold glance. 

You're so close to crumbling. You haven't breathed the whole time. This needs to be over. 

Belatedly the door closes and you sprint down the hall after him, twisting the lock shut. A heavy clunk sealing him in. 

You did it!

He's trapped. You're free!

With all of your pent up energy you turn and bolt down the hallway into the light. Into the kitchen. Skidding the corner, your run past the bench tossing the knife into the sink making your hands free to properly handle the keys. 

Through the living room into the entrance hall, you don't stop running and instead come to a halt as you make contact with the door. Slowing just enough to not hurt yourself. 

Thumbing through the bundle, you're trying to find the most logical choice for which key could fit the lock. They all are mostly the same. Plain, silver, metal keys. But you choose the first that has a slight defining notch in it and place it to the lock. However, your hand is shaking so much that you are unable to insert it.

Scolding yourself, you chant a mantra to calm down. Breath. Calm. You're about to be free. Just breath.  

Steadying your grip you attempt again. You place the key and it fits, but it doesn't turn. 

That's okay, there are half-a-dozen here. One of them will work.

You take the next key and try it in both directions. It doesn't work. Then you try the next key and that one doesn't turn either. One by one you go through 5 more and not one of them opens. All of them are useless!

Every minuscule piece of restraint that you gathered together goes up in flames. Hysteria sends your chest into a wild rattling and you nearly collapse to the floor. Your body surges with an ache, every time your heart beats.

They don't work? How could they not work?!

Think calmly. Rationally. Please Y/n keep it together.

It's fine. They have to open something. They have to. There has to be a back door or a window. These keys will open something. And the worst-case scenario, if the keys don't work on any lock, you have Jungkook trapped. He isn't going anywhere. You have time to break a window or find a phone. 

Your phone! 

You can't believe it's taken you this long to think of it.  You had your phone in your backpack and you know your backpack came here with you because you were wearing it when he pulled you into the car. 

If you can find your backpack, you can find your phone and you can call the police. 

You have no idea where it is, but you have time to look. 

From the entrance hall, there are 6 possible directions. The front door, the small bedroom, the downstairs bathroom, the stairs, and the hall to the living room. The 6th door is one you have never seen past.  

Opening it, it leads you into the laundry. You nearly scream in elation as you find a heavy wooden door with a small window at head height. It's a door outside! 

You turn the knob and predictably find no easy escape. Cycling through the keys again your heart sinks just that little further as none of them work to your advantage. Frustration fills you to the brim and you scream in anger, slamming your fists over and over, beating anything you can make contact with. 

Why can't you just get out of here?!

Using that frustration you run in search throughout the remainder of the house, looking for any signs of your phone. Your sights first set on his room. You tear through his belongings. Ripping the room to shreds hoping to find your bag, or more keys, or anything. But after several minutes of scouring, left hot and sweating and panting, you have nothing to show for it but a sea of mess surrounding you. Y/n think. He isn't going to leave it anywhere you could find it. He's not that stupid. You're getting caught up and not thinking straight. Trying to find your phone is not the way to go. You need to focus on getting out of here first. There has to be a window behind that heavy curtain in the living room and a heavy chair should be able to do enough damage to get you free. 

Calm down and think logically.

You take a step towards the door and your body crashes into the carpet. Your knees are too unstable to hold you. Your mind is swallowed by fear. You just can't believe that you're not out yet. It's been nearly 10 minutes. You were supposed to be free by now! No stuck wandering your prison!

What if Jungkook breaks the door down? What if he catches you? Oh, God! What would he do to you?

You're driving yourself crazy with these thoughts. Get free Y/n. Find a window and get free. 

Burling down the stairs, your legs can hardly keep up with your momentum. In your head, you're picturing the broken open window you are about to create. You just need to throw the heavy black material to the side. Hell, one of these keys may even work on that back door. 

You're going to get out.

No sooner than your foot touches the bottom step you see something incomprehensible. 

Your body slams to a halt like you've hit a brick wall.

Jungkook. 

No! How?! Your head is rampant with so many intrusive thoughts that you can't make a steady idea.  

He's leaning against the hall entrance, his thick arms folded. Eyeing you with a haunting malevolence that you thought you'd never have to see again.  

"How?" Is all you can manage. Your restraint breaking, a flood of tears letting loose down your cheeks. 

Uncrossing his arms in a showy display, he lets you see a small black key in his palm. A boisterous laugh accompanying your wide-eyed despair. 

Your vision is blurry, your ears are ringing. Oh God, please, someone save me. 

There isn't any other choice but to run. You're so beyond fucked, the only hope you have is to hide and pray his anger subsides. 

Quickly scanning around the room, you make the fast decision to retreat up the stairs. His bedroom was unsuccessful last time, but if you can drag the chest of draws in front of the door, that might barricade the room well enough. Or you can try the second upstairs bedroom. You know the window is too high from up there, but maybe you will be able to attract attention from anyone nearby if you scream loud enough. That room has a chair you can use to block the door. You just have to move fast. 

Your darting look gives away your intentions. Seeing Jungkook notice your mental plan, you don't waste any time reacting. Stretching your legs as far as they will go, forcing as much power into them as possible, you bolt.

As you move so does Jungkook. But you're closer to the stairs than him. You're certain that you'll make it. 

Just when your foot connects with the bottom step a painful large chunk of your loose hair is caught. Instantly yanking you back, pulling you off the stairs onto the floor.

Drawn up through your hair, Jungkook hoists you onto your feet. Gasping in pain, you're unable to vocalize anything more. Hanging limply as he lifts you to the point of extension that your tiptoes just touch the floor. 

You want to thrash and kick and fight. But you can't. You've no control over your body anymore.  A fear-induced disconnect is separating your limbs from your mind. All you can manage is to limply push against his chest, trying to shove him away.

His dark, horrid chuckle fills your ringing ears and with his free hand he holds up the black key and demonstratively puts it in his pocket. Slowly, he lowers his face to yours, breaking past your barricading hands at his chest. His mouth resting just above your ear.

"You're going to wish you did what I told you."

[twistedmusings]

Are requests open? Can I ask for 64😳😳😳 with Idia pretty please

A/N: I honestly could see this very much happening in Chapter Six. Consider this my prediction for this chapter, nonny. 

Idia Shroud 

He had to come clean.  “Put one here! It has a direct view to the laundry room!”  He watches as you grab a chair and stand up on it, holding out your hand for one of the cameras that he had brought to Ramshackle. You had come to him in urgency, asking him for help in finding a certain thief in your household.  The moment you asked him for help you had his attention, your face looking up at him so desperately sending a pleasant shiver down his spine as he agreed to help you with whatever you needed. When you looked at him like that, how could he say no? It was probably Grimm anyway-- “Someone is stealing my goddamn underwear!”  And so there he stood, trying his best to avert his eyes as you stood on your tip-toes to place the small recording device on the corner between Ramshackle kitchen and Ramshackle’s laundry room. Trying being the keyword in the situation since your shirt was riding up revealing the dip in your back-- “Idia!”  “Y--Yes!”  You huff and turn around, placing a hand on your hip as you pat the wall.  “I need to see this pervert’s face in full high definition. You can do that, right?”  Idia didn’t necesarily want to say this to you but you were looking at the pervert in the highest definition available.  “Uhm. Yes?”  “Perfect.” you jump down and grin, “Where else do you think we should put it?” His eyes widen as his hair flares up, your smile already dealing immediate 10 HP as he imagined two options popping up above your head.  T E L L   T H E   T R U T H  Or  P U T    O N E    I N    T H E I R   R O O M Idia wasn’t an idiot. These kind of dating simulator options were obviously not floating above your head and anything that he said to you now would cause some sort of real life ramifications! All he had to do was come clean.  Yes he had stolen your underwear during his visits here. But it wasn’t entirely his fault! You were the one that just left them unguarded! Did you even know what kind of prize that was to get from a rare character such as yourself!? And it’s not like you would miss them! Surely you wouldn’t miss the cute paw print ones that he imagined you wearing when nobody was around and you could walk in Ramshackle without pants. Why would you even miss the bicycle-pattern ones that Idia knew for sure were your favourite since all the detailed flowers were faded from constant use.  And of course you wouldn’t miss the pure white ones that Idia imagined you wearing to sleep. When the night was too hot and you shifted under the covers before reaching down to tug down your pants and-- “Do you...”  You tilt your head as he tries to form words.  “Do you want...do you...”  He could do this. You were someone he had placed his trust in so you should be able to do the same for him! Idia wanted you trust him!  “Do you want your....your....!”  But wasn’t your trust for him already high enough if you hadn’t incriminated him in the first place? You had been to his room! You had seen his interests! All of them were laid bare with no shame, well maybe a little, but still you had seen them!  “Idia? You okay?”  He nods and holds up the other camera, his smile forced and crooked as he pointed upstairs.  “M--Maybe we should p-place this one in your room? Who knows...they might be co-coming in through there.”  You smile and pat his shoulder, Idia holding back a soft squeak as you squeeze down.  “Yes! Great idea! And I have just the place to put it!”  The Ignihyde dorm leader sighs as he follows you upstairs, trying his best to rid himself of any guilt that he could be feeling at the moment.  After all, there were a cute pair of black ones that he had his eyes on for a while. 

[ramp-it-up]

What That Boat Do?

Pairing: Rafael Casal x Reader

Word Count: 2K

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. RPF. VERY EXPLICIT. Bathroom sex, oral (m/f receiving), creampie, light choking, a little bit of fluff at the end. Not proofread, errors my own.

A/N: This is based on the following ask from a wonderful Nonnie:

Post premiere smut with Rafa 😏 some red carpet teasing maybe?

Sorry it took me so long. We're on episode three! Anywho, I hope you like it Nonnie!

----------

The weekend was wild.

Rafael seemed sure of himself, but you knew the real story. He had never worked so hard to get something created. His soul was bound up in this work. And he was full of chaotic energy just finally getting to show the world what he and his friends created.

It was a hella busy weekend, flying coast to coast, grabbing sleep when you could. You just stored up your thots for later, knowing he needed this nervous energy to push through.

You loved how your man looked, and this premier tour was giving you ample opportunity to ogle him, along with everyone else.

Rafa in that blue suit did something to you. Black shirt, white shoes. Buzz cut and beard. Holy hell he was hot.

You were asleep as soon as you got in the car that night though, and Rafa just put you in bed in the hotel suite as he got busy playing hype man on social media.

And of course, you got a spanking the last time you wore that Green A’s jacket, sneaking it out of his trailer without him knowing.

Seeing him in it made you soaking wet with the memory of that night. The way he smirked at you while walking around in it told you he knew just what you were thinking.

You got so blasted that night because you were with the homies, so you were in no condition to be taken advantage of.

The final night of the premier weekend finally came, and you could tell that Rafa was exhaling. He was going to really celebrate tonight. And you were right by his side.

Tonight he was wearing the two-tone Comme des Garçons suit. It was just delectable.

Your gown matched his fly, and the only undergarment you were wearing was a black silk thong. You thought Rafael wasn’t paying attention as he fussed in the mirror getting ready, but you were wrong.

Rafa held your hand as he advanced toward the red carpet. You looked up at him and squeezed his hand before you got separated at the press and the step and repeat.

You watched him pose, and answer questions, smiling, laughing, and joking. He was in the zone, using his charm to hype up his project.

Damn. What a man. You were turned on just looking at him.

He and the cast went backstage to get ready to host the screening and answer questions. You were used to watching from afar.

You wandered around the venue, talking to the usual suspects and inspecting all of the liquor bottles on the top shelf from your perch at the bar.

Rafa texted you.

Bored?

You looked around and did not see him anywhere.

Where are you?

I’m stage left, waiting to go on, I see you counting bottles. Are you bored?

You peered at the spot he indicated and saw him leaning against the wall. Fuck, he looked good. You straightened up as your heart started beating faster.

I was, but not anymore.

Rafael smirked at you, and then down at his phone

Oh yea, well, why don’t you go take off that thong?

You looked up at Rafa. He had his evil grin on. Your eyes grew wide and you hurriedly typed in your phone.

WHAT?!?!?

You looked back up at him when you sent the message.

“Off,” he mouthed at you, then he held up his phone and started typing again.

Scared?

You loved a challenge. You looked him straight in the eye, got your purse, and asked the bartender where the bathroom was. You left and came back in three minutes.

You chose at a table near the stage when you sat down again. Rafa was there with the cast, staring at you, watching you, and waiting to be introduced.

You blew him a kiss. He subtly caught it underhanded, winked, and motioned as if he were putting it in his pocket.

You were transfixed as Rafael hyped the show. Watching him work and listening to his voice was such a turn on. You were more than ready to go, sitting up and paying attention with your whole body.

You crossed your legs, flashing the stage, and you caught Rafael lowkey checking to see if anyone else saw. You saw the flash in his eye and a little delicious shiver of fear ran through you. He did not miss a beat however, as he was staring right at the apex of your thighs, and he didn’t even pause as he spoke.

You kept moving in your seat because it was getting unbearable. Finally, you stood up, crossed your legs, and leaned against the wall for support, still staring at Rafael. You had no idea what anyone else in the room was doing; it was like you were the only two people there.

When Rafael left the stage again, he texted you almost immediately.

I saw you squirming. Meet me in the restroom on the left side of the house in 10 minutes.

Your pussy clenched as you read the text. You looked up and around the room. No one seemed to have any idea of what was about to happen. You watched the clock on your phone, the 10 minutes seeming to take forever.

It was like you had super senses. You heard people laughing, phones dinging with notifications, and Rafa’s body calling you.

When the time came, you picked up your bag and casually walked down the hall to your destination. You tried the knob and it was locked.

“Rafa, it’s me.”

The door opened and Rafael pulled you in quickly, and you laughed nervously at the sudden movement. He pinned you against the wall and kissed you well. He took his time to addle your senses with a kiss. That mouth did a lot.

You took control, kissing him, and unbuttoning his shirt, liking his nipple and kissing down his chest and abs as you got on your knees to un button and unfasten his pants.

His dick was not totally hard, but thick and waiting on his thigh. You deep throated it while looking up in his eyes.

Rafael’s sea blues gazed down at you and he smiled while you pulled off and stroked him, spitting on his cock for lubrication.

You were dripping as you sucked him a few more times for good measure, palming and rolling his balls. He moaned deep in his throat and placed his hand on your head.

He started tugging you upwards and you pulled his dick with you as you stood back up. You pulled your dress up and sat on the vanity, pussy directly over the sink.

You spread your legs as Rafa grasped your nipple through the slick fabric of your dress, then slid his hand down your belly to your cunt, using all four fingers to play in your pussy, dipping into your slick and coming up to circle, then brush your clit.

You could feel him releasing his frenetic pent up energy on you; all of the tension leading up to tonight was going to benefit you greatly.

Rafa surprised you by getting on his knees himself to taste you a little, licking your cunt, his nose in the center of your mound. He stood suddenly to take his jacket and shirt off, then got back on his knees, opening your legs wide and holding on to them, as your ass was falling into the bowl of the sink.

He started eating seriously then, diving in and bringing you to the edge of heaven, over and over again, but never quite letting you come. You bit your lip, moaned and wiggled in his clutch, and he smiled up at you, eyes sparkling at your vexation.

He brought his hand up and dipped his fingers in again, gathering some of your slick, and used it to lubricate his cock as he jacked off a bit. Rafael immersed himself in you, lapping you up and turning his head as he made out with your pussy.

You were so wet that by the time that he stood up to line himself up, he slid in easily and started pumping into you with no hands. He held them up like he was doing a trick on a bicycle, and the cocky muthafucka smirked at you as you looked up at him, mouth open and panting for more.

You reached for his ass as you wanted him to quit teasing you and ram you fully. Instead, he grabbed your hips, and you leaned back into the mirror, running your hands up his arms and down his torso again.

He gathered your knees in his arms, brought you closer and started pounding you harder, just as you wished. You moaned, your eyes rolling as your head lolled back against the mirror, and Rafa clapped his hand over your mouth.

He kissed your forehead as you continued to shake and moan in his arms, then he picked you fully up by your thighs and started bouncing you up and down his dick before depositing you back down on the vanity.

He pulled out and turned you around, pounding you and reaching around you to finger your clit until you came, his hand firmly muffling your noises.

But Rafael wasn’t finished. He leaned against the wall, and pulled you with him, his arm clutching your neck and holding your back flush against his chest, spearing his rock hard dick inside you.

The first time either of you spoke was for you to protest to him.

“Rafa… no… I - I can’t… not again.”

Rafa pulled you tighter against him and whispered in your ear.

“Yes you can, beautiful. And you will.”

He started moving again, squeezing your neck and flicking your over sensitive clit with his other hand. You quivered with overstimulation, but couldn’t help but fuck yourself back on his cock until you were close to coming again.

You put your hand over your mouth to stop the noise, but the slapping of your bodies was almost as loud as your noises.

You came and then Rafael stilled to stave off his orgasm. He bent his head toward you, forehead at the top of your spine as he breathed and tried to calm down. You slipped off his cock, the slippery wetness of you resonating in the room.

You wanted to celebrate him and his accomplishments, show Rafael how special he was. He was still hard, so you pushed him back, got on your knees again and sucked him off, tasting yourself on him, Rafa watching you in the mirror as he massaged your scalp.

You looked up at him as you stroked him off and sucked him, going deeper each time he moaned. He was staring at you with those eyes. That and his sounds kept you going and you felt his ball tighten.

“Shhhhhitttttt! You are so fucking good at this. You ready for it babe?”

Rafa was trying to stay cool, but he was making that cum face that you loved. You smiled and nodded up at him, opening your mouth as he took over and spurted streams of cum at you.

“Now swallow like the Good Girl you are.”

You did as you were told and then leaned forward to clean him up, hollowing your cheeks again and causing his knees to get weak.

“Damn, girl. You are a fucking big brain geniusssss. Shit!”

Rafa slumped against the wall as you rose from your knees, a pro still in your heels. You got cleaned up at the sink, and he opened his eyes and smacked your ass as you fixed your face and pulled down your dress.

He put his clothes back on, made sure he was still fly and then pulled you to him, kissing your forehead again, sweetly now.

“Thank you for being my ride or die. I couldn't have done any of this without you.”

You shook your head and began to protest.

“Shhh. I’m dead serious. You are my rock, my calm in the storm. I love you girl.”

You melted on the inside, but were still very aware that he was technically still working.

“I love you too, but before you sail out back into them rocky producing waters, give me back my panties.”

You held out your hand and smirked at him.

“Nah girl. You go out here with me commando, and remember just what that boat do.”

And Rafael pulled you laughing back out into the premier event, happy to be riding the waves with him.

---------

My first fic in a while (for me). Let me know what you think.

Tag List:

@braidedchallah @theatrenerd86 @sebastianabucknettastan @imatyoursurrvicesurr @riiyy @lonelydance @jbrizzywrites @honeysucklechocolatedrippin @anh1020 @sillyteecup @ohsoverykeri @theselilwonders @biafbunny @summerofsnowflakes @honeysucklechocolatedrippin @wreakhavoconmacroissantdiggs @janthonybitch

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

Okay but like I feel like Diego is the kind of person to flirt with really bad pick-up lines and Klaus is just Not Having It

featuring: Diego being a flustered Mama's boy and Klaus being a disaster dumbass and the two of them being completely in love with each other anyway

DISCLAIMER: None of the pick-up lines are mine, but the responses and ensuing shenanigans are :)

(there's fifty of these so buckle up kids :) sorry not sorry <3)

seriously though some of these are really bad

#1: He A Snack

Diego: Baby, you belong in the vending machine because you’re a snack.

Klaus: Diego you know I’m claustrophobic.

Diego: Don’t you mean Klaus-trophobic??? *finger guns*

Klaus: *blinks*

Klaus: I want a divorce.

#2: I’m From Hell

Diego: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Klaus: I’m a veteran addict and abuse victim who can see ghosts, Diego.

Klaus: Everything hurts.

#3: Animal Puns

Diego: *points to TV screen playing the Discovery Channel* Hey Klaus.

Diego: You’re my otter half.

Klaus: Diego those are meerkats.

#4: Stars

Diego: The stars are beautiful tonight.

Klaus: Yup.

Diego: You know who else is beautiful?

Klaus: Ben.

#5: Get Out Your Handcuffs Mister

Diego: You’re under arrest… for stealing my heart.

Klaus: Diego you got kicked out of the police academy like five years ago, just give up.

#6: Bad Boys

Diego: *leaning against the doorframe like a moron* So. I hear you like bad boys.

Klaus: Diego you cried because you accidentally stepped on a bee last week.

Diego: Well yeah but -

Klaus: You held a funeral for it. You made us all speak. You had Allison fly in from California. It was a fucking bee, Diego.

Diego: … I wear leather?

Klaus: So does every other kid who shops at Hot Topic. You’re not special.

#7: Prince Charming

Diego: Your knight in shining armor is here -

Klaus: One, that’s a turtleneck, not armor.

Klaus: Two, you’re covered in blood. That’s the opposite of shiny.

Klaus: Three, you smell like dead fish. Go take a shower.

#8: Chemistry

Diego: Did we have a class together? Because I could’ve sworn we had -

Klaus: Chemistry? Yup. Also English and math and foreign languages and history and like every other fucking thing because we grew up in the same sadistic boarding school, Diego.

#9: The Store Can’t Just Give Away Things For Free. That’s A Terrible Way To Run A Business.

Diego: I like your pants.

Klaus: Thanks. I got them out of a dumpster. And yes, you can have them 100% off.

Diego: *voice cracks* Really?

Klaus: No.

#10: Boyfriend Material

Diego: My jeans are made of -

Klaus: You’re wearing leather pants Diego.

Diego: Okay but -

Klaus: So they’re made of leather and they’re not fucking jeans.

#11: Digits

Diego: I lost my phone number. Can I have -

Klaus: None of us have phones, Diego.

Diego: I can… buy us some?

Klaus: Fine. I want my number to be 1-420-420-4201.

Diego: Baby no.

Klaus: *pulling out the puppy dog eyes* Pwetty pwease?

Diego: Fine, but mine’s gonna be 1-696-969-6969.

Klaus: I love you so much. Marry me. Have my babies.

#12: Love At First Sight

Diego: Do you believe in love at first sight or -

Klaus: If I did I’d have already fallen in love with a lot of hot ghosts.

Diego: - should I walk by again?

Klaus: You’ve been pacing for the past ten minutes, Gogo. I think if it was gonna happen it would’ve by now.

#13: You Have Fine Written All Over You

Diego: Are you a parking ticket? Cause -

Klaus: Diego I can’t drive.

#14: His Eyes Are Green Not Blue You Dipshit

Diego: Your eyes are an ocean, and I’m lost at sea.

Klaus: ... can’t you, like, hold your breath forever?

Diego: *blinks* Baby, I love you, but you’re ruining this with our childhood trauma.

Klaus: Well since you’ve refused therapy I just thought this was the next best option.

Diego: I take back what I said about loving you.

#15: Math Is Dumb And I Wish School Would Stop Teaching It

Diego: Are you a forty-five degree angle?

Klaus: Actually, because humans have non-linear body shapes, it’s impossible for their specific angles to be measured -

Diego: Are you high or have you been defiling Five’s books again?

Klaus: *blinks* Why can’t it be both?

Diego: *rethinking life decisions*

#16: Baby I’m All Yours

Diego: Do you have a name?

Klaus: Klaus.

Diego: Or can I call you mine?

Klaus: I mean I prefer “baby”, but sure.

Diego: *super wide eyes* Really?

Klaus: *melts into a puddle of glitter* Yeah, Gogo.

#17: (Not) Bookworms

Diego: Thank god I brought my library card. Cause I’m here to check you out.

Klaus: *through a mouthful of waffles* God isn’t real. We all die and rot beneath the earth to be eaten by maggots. There is no such thing as a higher power.

Klaus: *swallows waffles and takes a really loud slurp of an orange juice and chocolate milk combo*

Klaus: Oh, and the library’s closed for renovations til, like, Christmas so you’re outta luck, sorry.

Diego: I thought you met god? Little girl on a bicycle?

Klaus: Her? Nah, only Satan’s got that much sass. Plus, that wasn’t heaven.

Diego: And you know this how?

Klaus: *squishes Diego’s face with both hands* Think about it. Do you really think dear ol’ dad’s in heaven?

Diego: Can you let of my face please?

#18: Bad Move, Buddy

Diego: Are you a pre-historic fossil? Cause you’re my missing link.

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus: Did you just call me old?

Diego, backing out of the room slowly: What? No! No of course not! No, obviously no, absolutely not -

Klaus: *releases savage war cry*

Diego: *runs for his goddamn life*

#19: I Rate This 0/10

Diego: Are you from Tennessee? Cause you’re the only -

Klaus: I don’t know where I’m from. I’m an orphan.

Diego: Oh… I know, baby -

Klaus: And the piece of shit that adopted me lived in New York anyway. We’re in New York right now actually. Do you need a geography lesson? I think Pogo’s got a map -

Diego: Klaus.

#20: Oh Shit

Diego: If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus: *tears up* I’m nothing?

Diego: Oh no. No no no. No, baby, you’re not nothing, don’t cry, I’m so sorry, that’s not what I meant, baby - oh my god please don’t cry -

#21: You’ve Got Everything I’m Searching For

Diego: Is your name Google? Because -

Klaus: Diego. For the last time…

Klaus: My name is Kimberly Linda Aerealia Ulysses Saffron Hargreeves the Twenty-Fourth. I don’t know why I need to keep explaining this to you -

Diego, kissing him quiet: You’re my favorite person in the world, you know that?

#22: Don’t Make Bets You’ll Lose, Luther.

Diego: Luther bet me a hundred bucks I couldn’t talk to the prettiest person here. How do you wanna spend his money?

Klaus: Drugs.

Diego: Baby -

Klaus: *beams* Nah, I’m just kidding. Stuffed giraffes.

Diego: *grins* For Five?

Klaus: *nods* For Five.

Diego:

Klaus:

Diego: He’ll hate them.

Klaus: Exactly. Let’s go.

#23: Deja Vu

Diego: Have we met before?

Klaus: Yes. Obviously. Are you also high?

Diego: No -

Diego: Wait, you’re high?

Klaus:

Diego:

Klaus:

Diego:

Klaus: No?

#24: Such An Optimist

Diego: Are you a time traveller?

Klaus: No, that’s Five.

Diego: Cause I think you’re my future!

Klaus: *stares blankly*

Diego: No? Nothing? Nada?

Klaus: In the future we’re all dead dipshit.

Klaus: Because. Ya know.

Klaus: THERE’S A FUCKING APOCALYPSE COMING.

Diego:

Diego: Okay then.

#25: Please Go To The Hospital.

Diego: Are you my appendix? Cause my stomach’s fluttering and I think I should take you out.

Klaus:

Klaus: Did you drink water from the fish tank again?

Diego: *turning green* Luther dared me to okay???!!!!

#26: Suicidal Tendencies

Diego: Hey gorgeous -

Klaus: Let me guess. I should drop dead?

Diego: What?! No! Baby -

#27: Infinitely On The Naughty List (And Not The Good Kind Of Naughty List (If There Is One I’m Asexual I Don’t Know))

Diego: Are you Santa Klaus? Cause you make all my wishes come true.

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus: You have five seconds to run.

Diego: *already two streets away* Fucking shit -

#28: You Can’t Use That Every Time We Have An Argument, Tony.

Diego: Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist right?

Klaus: I mean, there’s one in the corner of our living room right now, so I guess?

Diego:

Diego:

Diego:

Diego: *squeaks* You - you can see dinosaur ghosts?

Klaus: I mean, there’s a chance that thing Ben’s petting is just a super deformed ostrich, but yeah, I think so.

Diego:

Diego:

Diego:

Diego: *tearing up* That’s so cool.

#29: A Whole New Kind Of Thirst Trap

Diego: I’m thirsty. But guess whose body is 75% water?

Diego: *smirks*

Klaus: *frowns*

Klaus: Hold on, I know this one…

Diego: Klaus -

Klaus: *snaps fingers* Oh, I know! Luther!

Diego: *horrified* What the fuck Klaus why the fuck would you say that -

#30: What A Tragedy

Diego: You must be a campfire. Because you’re super hot and I want s’more.

Klaus:

Klaus: Diego sweetheart, you’re allergic to marshmallows.

Diego: *tearing up* I know.

Klaus: You wanna hug, baby?

Diego: *crying* Yes please.

#31: That Can’t Be Allowed

Diego: Don’t tell me if you want me to take you out to dinner. Just smile for yes, or do a backflip/somersault/counter-spin gymnastics combination for no.

Klaus: *smirks*

Klaus: *does a triple flip and lands perfectly on the top of the bar counter*

Diego: *turns bright red* That was h-h-hot.

Klaus: *beams and jumps down into Diego’s arms bridal-style*

Klaus: *kisses his cheek* I know, baby.

#32: Merry Christmas

Diego: You’re the reason Santa started the Naughty List.

Klaus: *blinks*

Klaus: *pouts*

Klaus: No fair! He told me last week I was on the Nice List!

Diego: What? Klaus? What does that -

Diego: OH MY GOD KLAUS IS SANTA DEAD???!!!!

#33: I’ll Keep You Safe, Honey.

Diego: I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me instead?

Klaus: *pulls out a stuffed tiger*

Klaus: He got lost in the kitchen. Don’t worry, I rescued him for you.

Diego: *takes soft tiger*

Diego: *voice cracks* Oh. Thanks.

Klaus: *kisses his forehead* You’re welcome, baby.

#34: Excuse Me?

Diego: The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name.

Klaus, internally: Shit. What if he finds out I stole like five of his knives and all of the cookies last week?

Klaus, externally: *blinks*

Klaus: Um… Stefonopolis?

#35: I Am Not Apologizing For This One

Diego: If you were a steak, you’d be well done.

Klaus: But I’m so unique…

Klaus: I talk to the dead, Diego.

Diego: Okay…?

Klaus: *smirks*

Klaus: So wouldn’t I be medium rare?

Ben: Ooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

#36: Leonardo Da Vinci Was Arrested Multiple Times For Homosexual Activity.

Diego: Is this a museum? Cause you’re a work of art.

Klaus: *dancing to the soundtrack of High School Musical 3* Actually Five took me back to Italy once. Leonardo da Vinci and I had some fun.

Diego:

Diego: Oh my god. Seriously?

Diego: *looks up picture of Mona Lisa, now titled Mona Klausa*

Diego: How the fuck -

#37: Why Would You Say That Though

Diego: Am I sleepwalking? Cause I’ve only seen you in my dreams.

Klaus: *sitting on the counter and eating a donut in one bite* Are they dirty?

Luther: *chokes on a pickle*

Diego: Oh my god no -

Diego: Well sometimes -

Diego: I mean no of course not -

Luther: *praying to whoever’s up there to just kill him already*

#38: Be Safe Kids!

Diego: Can you hold this for me?

Klaus: Sweetie, you need to wash your hands.

#39: Apocalypse Averted!

Diego: If looks could kill, you’d be a weapon of mass destruction.

Klaus: *blinks*

Klaus: I thought that was Vanya.

Diego:

Diego, panicking: Holy shit Klaus you can’t just say things like that -

Vanya: *crying from laughter*

#40: Attractive

Diego: Do you swallow magnets? Because you’re -

Klaus: *shoves him up against the wall*

Klaus: How did you find out? Who told you? Was it Ben? I swear to god I’ll kill him -

Diego: *squeaks* What?

#41: First You’ve Gotta Propose Diego

Diego: Wouldn’t we look cute on a wedding cake together?

Klaus: Diego. Did you buy me a cake?

Diego:

Klaus:

Diego:

Klaus: I’m waiting.

Diego: Right sir yes sir right away sir -

#42: He May Not Be A Kitten But He Is As Soft As One

Diego: If I followed you home, would you keep me?

Klaus: I’m homeless, Diego.

Diego: What? You are? Oh no, baby - you can come stay with me?

Klaus: *looks up from Disney Princess coloring book and raises an eyebrow* Is your bed available?

Diego, blushing: Ye-yeah, b-ba-baby. Whe-whenever you-u w-want.

Klaus: *smiles*

Klaus: *takes Diego’s hand*

Klaus: Okay.

Diego: *dies a little bit inside (in a good way)*

#43: It’s Just You.

Diego: Is it hot in here or is it just you?

Klaus, blushing: I -

Five: DIEGO. THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE. NOW IS NOT THE TIME.

#44: ‘Scuse Me, Mate?

Diego: You know, penguins mate for life. Wanna be my penguin?

Klaus: Eh. I’ve always been more of an iguana man.

Diego:

Diego:

Diego:

Diego: What?

#45: You Look Like… Antonio Banderas With The Long Hair.

Diego: How’s the most beautiful person in the world doing today?

Klaus: *buried in a Vogue magazine* I don’t know I’m not Antonio Banderas.

#46: What The Fuck Klaus

Diego: Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.

Klaus: *hands him a Candyland board* Here. I stole it from Pogo.

#47: You Dumbass

Diego: I hate my last name. Can I borrow yours?

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus: We have the same last name, Diego.

Diego: *blinks*

Diego: Fuck you’re right -

#48: Okay But Diego Would Make A Great Aladdin Though

Diego: I’m not a genie, but I can still make your dreams come true.

Klaus: *wrinkles his nose*

Klaus: You can get me a pink elephant with jaundice?

Diego: *blinks*

Diego: What the fuck Klaus -

#49: HELLO

Diego: Is that a knife or are you just happy to see me?

Klaus: I don’t just have random knives on me Diego, I’m not you.

Diego: So you are happy to see me?

Klaus: I mean you just interrupted a very riveting episode of Sesame Street, so… we’ll see.

#50: It’s Always Best To Start With The Truth.

Diego: I love you.

Klaus: *beams* That’s all you had to say, darling.

[amillionlanguages]

2+ Months of Language Learning Prompts!

Sometimes it can be tricky to know what to learn if you are teaching yourself a language. Here are some ideas for what you can focus on learning each day for the first two months of learning a new language! I formatted it so there is the general topic for the day and then in parentheses are some ideas to get you started but you can definitely learn a lot more than what I’ve written down! These are just to help generate some ideas!

This definitely would move pretty quickly if you covered all this material in 2 months so you could definitely spend more time on each topic if you need! This would require quite a bit of time each day in order to learn it all. This could totally work for a 4 or 6-month challenge where you spend 2 or 3 days on each of the topics I listed if you don’t have enough time to cover each topic in just one day!

Polite phrases (thank you, please, yes/no, you’re welcome, I’m sorry)

Introductory phrases (hi, my name is, I’m from, I speak, how are you?)

Pronouns (I, you, he, she, they, we)

Basic people vocab (girl, boy, man, woman, person, child)

Basic verbs in present tense (to eat, to drink, to walk, to read, to write, to say)

Sentence structure (how to form some basic sentences)

Negative sentences (I do not __)

Question words (who, what, where, when, why, how, how to form questions)

Numbers (0-20, 30, 40, 50, 100, 1,000, 1,000,000)

Time (hour, minute, half hour, reading the time)

Meals (breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack, dessert, appetizer)

Basic foods (apple, banana, rice, bread, pasta, carrot, soup, water)

More foods (beef, pork, fruit, vegetable, juice, coffee, tea, chocolate, cake)

Kitchen (stove, oven, kitchen, fridge, table, chair, bake, boil)

Eating supplies (knife, spoon, fork, plate, bowl, cup, glass)

More verbs (to make, to have, to see, to like, to go, to be able to, to want, to need)

Family (father, mother, son, daughter, aunt, uncle, cousin, grandmother, grandfather, parents, grandparents)

Transportation (car, train, plane, bus, bicycle, airport, train station)

City locations (apartment, building, restaurant, movie theater, market, hotel, bank)

Directions (north, south, east, west, right, left)

Adjectives (good, bad, smart, delicious, nice, fun)

More verbs (to give, to send, to wake up, to cry, to love, to hate, to laugh)

Colors (red, yellow, blue, green, purple, black, white, brown)

Emotions (happy, sad, calm, angry)

Physical descriptions (tall, short, blonde, brunette, redhead, eye color)

Body parts (arm, leg, hand, finger, foot, toe, face, eye, mouth, nose, ears)

Descriptors (rich, poor, beautiful, ugly, expensive, inexpensive)

Basic clothing (shirt, pants, dress, skirt, jacket, sweater, skirt, shorts)

Accessories (belt, hat, wallet, gloves, sunglasses, purse, watch)

More verbs (to keep, to smile, to run, to drive, to wear, to remember)

Animals (cat, dog, horse, cow, bear, pig, chicken, duck, fish)

More animals (turtle, sheep, fox, mouse, lion, deer)

Months (January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December)

Seasons (fall, winter, spring, summer)

Weather (sunny, cloudy, hot, cold, snowing, raining)

States of being (I’m hungry, I’m tired, I’m thirsty)

House (bedroom, living room, bathroom, stairs)

Furniture (bed, lamp, couch, door, window)

Electronics (phone, TV, computer, camera, radio, headphones)

Nature (tree, flower, plant, animal, grass, animal, outside, sky, sun, moon, clouds)

More verbs (to teach, to learn, to understand, to know, to listen, to hear)

School (classroom, elementary school, high school, college, student, class, grade, homework, test)

School subjects (math, science, English, art, music, chemistry, biology, physics)

School supplies (book, pencil, pen, paper, notebook, folder, backpack, calculator)

Classroom features (student desk, teacher desk, whiteboard, chalk, clock, bell)

Jobs (teacher, scientist, doctor, artist, dancer, musician)

More jobs (surgeon, manager, engineer, architect, lawyer, dentist, writer)

More verbs (to buy, to sell, to work, to ask, to answer, to dance, to leave, to come)

Comparisons (less than, more than, same, __er than)

Languages (French, German, Chinese, Russian, Spanish, English, Japanese)

Countries (France, Germany, China, Russia, Spain, Mexico, United States, Japan)

Religion (church, temple, mosque, to pray, Judaism, Christianity, Islam)

Past tense (I was, he ran, she wrote)

Hobbies (shopping, sports, soccer, chess, fishing, gardening, photography)

More verbs (to describe, to sleep, to find, to wish, to enter, to feel, to think)

Art (paint, draw, painting, gallery, frame, brush)

Morning routine (to wake up, to brush teeth, toothbrush, toothpaste, comb, soap)

Future tense (I will run, he will write)

TV + internet (online, internet, to watch TV, TV show, movie, documentary, cartoon)

More verbs (to look for, to stay, to touch, to meet, to show, to rent, to wash, to play)