#he was so damn nice to me some random 14-15 year old who only started taking writing seriously like age 12

[abimee]

@mrswhymrhow literally practically everyone I told about wanting to write from the age of like 9-16. I had various teachers and random fuckass adults tell me to focus on art instead of writing and it felt like a WHO ASKED YOU? moment every time

[festeringneondistraction]

I'm starting my new job for real tomorrow and i'm so anxious.

So after months of unemployment i finally got a job. Well its technically not a job it more like paid community service. Its called Mandy's Farm and its part of the Americorps program, I am serving as a part of the Vamos program. We provide employment services and adult skills training to developmentally disabled people between 14-25 years old. Plenty of other things but I suggest a google to get the full picture.

For context I am 19 years old and have a background in daycare and special needs students, more importantly I am AuDHD and disabled as well. I've come into this field because of a deep desire to help my people and other community members. I crave advocacy, I've always wanted to feel like i'm actually helping people, I want to be in the trenches. So far everyone is super accommodating and nice so i really don't have anything to worry about. I'm just meeting a lot of people in person who have heard a lot about me presumably and that is really anxiety provoking. What about the students? They seem super nice but im still really worried about people not liking me. Plus there are likely disabilities that I have yet to encounter that I will have to adjust to and learn about which isn't a bad thing at all that's fine. But what if I mess up?? What if I get overstimulated and shy?

This is definitely a step up the professional ladder for me which is unnatural. I was prepared to go back to Joann's or worse. I'm still super broke but I can already tell that i'm going to be so much happier. I hope I can get along with everyone, people think i'm knowledgeable which in my opinion is quite a high compliment. Weirdly enough my daycare experience already appears to be more relevant than I thought same thing with my performing arts school background. I hope there are people that I can relate to and that relate to me. Currently i'm just listening to Death cab for Cutie and a Cewpins Vod (highly recommend if you smoke at all!!) because after training I was just totally wiped and got home and did my routine.

We had to go to home depot to get a replacement toilet handle because you gotta love cheap apartments. :)

Get home (BF does the toilet because im wiped out).

Immediately do a hugeeeee afterwork dab.

Chill high as fuck for a bit.

Order food reluctantly.

Wait for than eat the food.

Try to stay up.

Fail.

Pass out in an unnatural position with lights on and everything.

Have random sex because fuck it lol.

Sleep part 2.

Wake up.

Computer at like 1:15 am

Get your stimulation of choice.

Dab again.

Get anxious then hop on tumblr to vent.

So that's pretty much it. Jacob is still asleep. He's still frustrated and depressed understandably so but the difference is that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and he cant seem to yet, I guess it feels a little closer for me... Things have been really hard lately,,, our guinea pig Boston died a few days ago.. We haven't been able to bury him yet so he's just in our freezer... Which sucks because I don't cook really so I cant use my freezer so like pretty much all my food. I would like to get some closure. He's definitely still haunting me.

My only IRL friend I live near has Covid and her whole family including her 1 year old daughter is sick.. I just got over Covid and it sucks ass. She said she got it from work but its fucking everywhere again where i'm at so who even knows.

I also cant find my goddamn wallet!! I have google pay and everything but i still need my damn wallet!! Im frustrated because this is the seccound important wallet I have not been able to to find and i cant get fucked over again. If any witches have some lost object spells or tips id genuinely appreciate it i'm pretty desperate.

I have a feeling this new job is definitely going to keep me busy, Another huge advantage is when I finish my service I get an education award that can go to past of future collage payments. I could attempt to start collage... god who knows I still cant drive I still can only manage 6th grade math. I wish that I was competent at math i never have been.

I say 6th grade roughly it could be better but it is likely even worse than i think it is. I have serve trauma relating to a math teacher I had in middle school and then highschool. It goes back even farther because you know how undiagnosed learning disabilities are. The school had to intervene because he was my only option for a math class. Long story short I ended up getting a free math credit in 8th grade where during the period id just sit in the deans office and use it as a "study hall". Listened to some great music in that "class" i was often productive but not in the ways that people wanted me to lol.

I'm debating hoping on some Khan academy or something just because i resent math so hard I need to conquer it. Plus if I'm planning on college (which I am) I want to be ready for gen eds. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH my brain is scrambled i just want my ebt card bro. Im outta fooddddd. I miss money, Is it time to talk to rich art school friend?? Is that unethical?? Alan if youre reading this id appreciate whatever is possible <3 ( kidding not kiddingggg)

[helliontherapscallion]

Catching Up (Adrenaline Junkie Part 9)

Part 1     Part 2     Part 3     Part 4     Part 5     Part 6     Part 7     Part 8     Part 10     Part 11     Part 12     Part 13     Part 14     Part 15     Part 16     Part 17

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: swearing

Word count: 2,156         

“Did you kidnap a child?”

“I can ex- wait what? Of course I didn’t! Why would you think that?”

“Well, for starters, you just came home with a random kid! What were-”

“Dad. I didn’t kidnap anybody, especially Arthur,” you said exasperated. “It started when I was leaving the village.”

And so, you told your dad about how you met Arthur. Needless to say, he was furious. “(Y/n) (m/n) Minecraft, you yelled at a child? Not just a child, but an orphan that was so clearly in need of help?! I raised you better than that.”

“Dad, I know that yelling at kids is wrong. Just-just let me finish.”

He gave you a wicked side eye and nodded at you to continue. “So then he told me that he was alone. That he had no family. I couldn’t just leave him out there Dad. He would’ve been alone in the city. Hell, he’s been alone for god knows how long already” you ran a stressed hand through your already messy hair. “I’m sorry I didn’t ask you if he could crash here-”

“(Y/n).”

“-but he could’ve got hurt! The village’s dangerous at night-”

“(Y/n).”

“Do you know how many people get mugged there just in a day? God, I can’t imagine him getting hurt, he’s so young and-”

“(Y/n) (m/n) Minecraft.” Your hand froze in your hair. “...Yeah?”

“It was a good idea to bring him here. But there’s gotta be someone out there looking for him.”

“I really don’t think so Dad. You saw him when I brought him here, he looked like he didn’t get a proper bath in months! Even if he did have someone, I’d rather him be here instead of with the bastards that left him like that.”

He sighed. “You’re right. I remember when I found you when you were a baby. Your biological parents were awful, they ignored you. I found you on the porch, they must’ve left you there overnight. You were filthy and you were so small and fragile. I remember being so pissed that they treated you like that, but they never gave me their names.”

You squinted at him. “You’ve never told me that. You told me that you found me in an alleyway.”

“I didn’t want to tell you how I actually found you, it was never important for you to know.”

“What do you mean it’s not impor-” you stopped yourself. That’s not important right now. “We’re going to talk about this later. Right now, we need to talk about Arthur before he gets out of the shower.”

Glancing at the clock, you felt worry engulf your being. “Speaking of, he’s been in there a while, do you think he’s okay?” You felt your heart drop. “What if he slipped!” You stood up in a panic. Philza pulled you back onto the bed giving you a knowing look.

“He’s okay hun. Remember, he’s probably just enjoying the shower.”

You bounced your leg. “You’re right, you’re right… What’s with that look?”

“What look?”

“That look.”

“I just think-”

You heard a knock on your door and a small voice calling your name. Immediately jumping up and forgetting about the conversation, you opened your door. 

“Hey buddy, have a good shower?”

He yawned, rubbing at his eye with a closed fist. The pajamas he wore were slightly too big, but he would grow into them. His auburn hair that he came in the house with was now a brilliant copper color and you could now make out freckles dotting his pale cheeks.

“Mhm.”

You softly smiled at him and grabbed his hand leading him to Wilbur’s old room since it had the comfiest bed. You helped the small-statured boy into the large bed and he flopped down without pulling the covers over himself. You huffed in amusement, pulling the soft blankets out from under him and tucking him in.

You spoke in a calm voice, not wanting to disrupt the peace that engulfed the room. You gently brushed the hair out of his face. “Sleep well, Artie.”

As you stood up and turned to walk away, he grabbed the back of your shirt. Glancing back, you saw that he had his eyes groggily half-open and he stared at you blearily. “Stay?”

Oh, you couldn’t say no to that. Feeling your heart melt, you whispered “of course buddy.” You pulled up an old chair and sat next to the bedside holding his small hand in your larger one. He was out like a light. 

He was so small for his age. It was probably because of the malnutrition from being homeless, and that broke your heart. Your poor, poor baby.

…Wait.

Wait.

Your poor baby? What the fuck were you thinking? This child doesn’t even know you, you only met him earlier in the day. And yet, you already felt affectionate towards him. You wanted to protect him from danger. Why were you feeling like this?

You heard the door creak open and a small sliver of light streamed into the room. Philza poked his head through the small crack in the door. He smiled at you when he saw you sitting next to Arthur holding his hand as he slept. Reaching in an arm, he gestured for you to follow him before slipping out and closing the door.

Reluctantly, you slowly let go of the boy’s slender hand and quietly opened the nightstand drawer. You pulled out a pen and paper and wrote a quick note for him in the morning in your messy handwriting.

“Arthur, when you wake up, Philza and I’ll be downstairs making breakfast. Hope you like bacon and eggs : )

-(Y/n)”

You placed the paper on the nightstand where you hoped that Arthur would see when he woke up and quietly left the room. Philza leaning against the wall greeted you. He was smiling softly at you. He once again gestured for you to follow him downstairs.

Philza felt ecstatic that you were going to give him another grandson. Even if you would inevitably deny being a parental figure to Arthur, he knew that you were going to accept it sooner or later. He raised you, so he should know when you deeply care for someone. Arthur and you both shared a love for innovation and creativity, so he knew that you two would bond over that. He felt like soaring high in the sky. He was so happy that there’s going to be another addition to the family soon. 

He sat you down onto the couch and disappeared into the kitchen. A few moments later, he came back with two steaming mugs of hot chocolate. Your favorite.

“Thanks.”

“Anytime hun.”

You both sat in a comfortable silence on the couch and stared into the crackling flame in the fireplace. The fire swirled with various reds, oranges, and yellows illuminating the living room. You closed your eyes for a brief moment, savoring the flavor of the chocolate and the smell of smoke with the fire popping in the background. You felt relaxed.

“So, how’s Tommy and Wilbur? Are they adjusting well to L’manberg?”

“Oh, they’re thriving. Wilbur’s a natural leader so he’s in his element and Tommy’s always exploring with Tubbo. They get into trouble sometimes, but they always come back in one piece, so I’m not worried about them. They’re having fun.”

“And you?”

“I set up my new workshop next to the capitol building. I think I’m gonna start selling some of the stuff I make, I think it’d make a decent profit.”

“I think that’s a great idea. Ya know that the people in the village are crazy about you, right?”

You groaned, dragging your hand down your face tiredly. “How could I not? I hate it.”

“Why would you hate it? They really admire your work, you should appreciate that.”

“Dad, I do appreciate that they admire my work, but do you remember how they treated me when I first went there after I lost my wing? They treated me like a fucking outcast. And now they’re acting like they actually know me and that they were always friends with me. I know everybody deserves a second chance, but I can’t help but feel like they’re on thin ice.” 

“People change hun. Maybe they realize that how they treated you was wrong and they want to make amends?”

“That’s the thing. They’re only treating me like this only because of my inventions. I can only tolerate it for so long. I don’t even know why they’re treating me like this, I’m not special. I’m just another person.”

“...You aren’t gonna let a few two-faced people ruin your vacation, right?”

“No.”

His cheeks slowly stretched into a smile. “Why? Who are you?”

“I’m (y/n)?”

“I said who. Are. You?”

You spoke up a little more confidently, but kept your voice down. “I’m (y/n) (m/n) Minecraft.”

He quietly laughed. “Damn right you are. You’re ‘(Y/n) Minecraft, Conqueror of the Unknown’. You’re (y/n) goddamn Minecraft and don’t you forget it.”

You chuckled. “You read that book? ‘(Y/n) Minecraft, Conqueror of the Unknown’ was a bit too dramatic for my taste.”

“Why wouldn’t I read something all about my precious little inventor?” He drug out with an overly sweet tone.

“Dad, I’m 20 years old. I’m not little anymore.”

He slung an arm across your shoulders and pulled you into his side. “I know, I know, but you’ll always be my child.”

You sighed and leaned into him. You haven’t spent any time with him since you left the house to help Wilbur and Tommy fight for independence, so this felt nice. “I missed you Dad.”

“Not a day goes by where I don’t miss you or your brothers. It’s way too quiet around here without you four.”

“Do you remember when Tommy put green dye in the shampoo to try and prank me?”

An almost silent laugh reverberated throughout his chest, sounding slightly muffled. “Of course I do. It took at least a few weeks to get it off my skin and a full month after that to get it out of my hair.”

“You should’ve seen his face when I walked into the kitchen in the morning,” you deepen your voice. “‘If you’re not in the shower, then who is?’ Aaaannd then you walked into the kitchen looking like you lost a fight with a witch.” You snorted. “You didn’t know why everyone was staring at you.”

He huffed. “You guys didn’t even tell me until after breakfast.”

“Have you seen yourself in the mornings? You’re literally so grumpy. We didn’t have a death wish.”

“Hey, I’m not that bad in the morning, Mx. I-can’t-function-without-eight-hours-of-sleep.”

“At least I’m fully awake in the morning.”

“Oh, wow, what a zinger,” he said in a monotone voice.

You reached up to playfully slap his arm. “Shuddup.”

You both quietly laughed before the room fell back into a comfortable silence. You took a deep breath. “Arthur knows about The Warden. What it did to me”

You felt him tense up and heard his heart start to beat a little faster. He moved his arm away and leaned back to look you in the eyes.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. He said that he knew what happened and he needed my help. He… he said that The Warden took someone important to him.”

“Was it his paren-”

“I don’t know. I’m going to talk to him about it tomorrow.”

“Do you want me to talk to him with you?”

“I don’t know if Arthur’s comfortable with that yet. I’m not even sure if he trusts me enough to tell me.”

You grabbed your’s and Philza’s empty mugs and took them to the kitchen. You ran your hands down your face. You felt very drained after everything that happened today. You weren’t used to so much human interaction, let alone people staring at you like you were some kind of deity when you weren’t. You leaned against the sink and closed your eyes. 

“(Y/n), I’m turning in for the night. Is there anything you need before I go to bed?”

“No, thank you Dad.”

“Alright, goodnight. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

You heard his retreating footsteps gradually fade out and the room was thick with silence yet again. The darkness in the room was cut by the moonlight streaming in through the window. Your mind was racing as you remembered that you were going to have to talk to Arthur about The Warden soon. 

You hadn’t talked about The Warden for years and now you were being forced into it. You didn’t think you were ready. You wanted to move on with your life, but The Warden was inevitable. It was everywhere around you. It won’t ever leave you alone, will it?

You didn’t think you were going to get much sleep tonight.

Taglist (comment if you want to be added):

@acecarddraws  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @ravennightingaleandavatempus  @dirtydiavolo  @yeiras-world  @immadatmostthings  @hee-hee-haw  @jackalopedoodles  @m1lkmandan  @vanhakirja  @im-a-depressed-gay  @coolleviauchihadreamerlove  @questioning-sanity  @camisascam

@bongwaterflavoredgatorade  @kakamiissad  @jayistrash4  @lifestylesleep  @speedymaximoff  @sun-shark-tooth  @appetiteofapeoplepleaser  @lestrangenymph  @kinismanditory  @dragons-lurk-here  @rinzyx05  @the-wandering-pan-ace  @sparkling-gayyyy  @angelic-scent  @shinipii  @dont-hug-me-im-a-fander  @izzydimensional  @used-avocado  @laura--444  @wing-non

[blossom-hwa]

Prologue (CHAN) - |Breathe, and Live|

And so we begin the fluff :) Enjoy single dad chan!

Pairing: Chan x fem!reader

Genre: fluff, angst, slice of life, single parent!au

Triggers: allusions to sex

Word Count: 1.7k

Chan is lost, so lost, and sometimes it feels like the walls are caving in. But he’ll make it, he knows. He has to, for the two little boys cradled in his arms who he loves more than anything he has in the world.

SKZ Masterlist | Breathe, and Live | Touching Stars (TBZ teacher!au)

She tells him at precisely five fourteen in the afternoon, voice dead but panicked, on a crowded bus full of people, words crackling over the phone.

“Chan, I’m pregnant.”

The walls are silent. His laptop, too, since he paused the track to pick up the call. He can’t speak, can’t breathe. It deafens him. It squeezes at his head, pounds against his temples, fills his ears with static buzzing.

His vision blurs. Something rises in his throat.

Chan thinks he might throw up.

How? his mind screams. He’s always been careful, always used a condom. She takes birth control, takes the pill every morning after. It doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t fucking make sense.

But you can never be sure, the rational part of his brain unhelpfully supplies.

The droning voice of his old sex-ed teacher back in Australia fills his mind. “The only way to be sure is to practice abstinence.”

Back then, he’d snorted quietly in the back with his friends, elbowed them and smirked and didn’t bother paying attention to the rest of the lecture. What was the point, anyway? Chan may not be as cautious as his parents – the impulse decision to stay in Korea for university, even after his family moved back, is proof of that – but he’s tried to be careful with this. Cautious, respectful, caring.

That kind of thing would never happen to him.

Somewhere, somehow, he hears her saying his name. Between the noise in the background and the ringing in his ears, it’s muffled. Disjointed.

“Okay,” he manages to choke out. “Okay.”

What else can he say?

Her voice sounds hoarse now, even over the tinny phone speakers. She’s crying, or on the verge of it – Chan’s known her long enough recognize the catch in her words that signals the lump in her throat. “I – Chan, I don’t –” She gasps. “I don’t think I want to keep it.”

It takes a moment to understand. But the minute he does, there’s only horror. Sharp, clear, precise. It pierces his chest, breaking through the foggy cloud of his brain.

He wants to scream, yell at her, how could she think of that? How could she not want to keep the child that’s depending on her?

But his sister’s voice cuts through his swirling thoughts. “No uterus, no opinion.” Hannah’s dark eyes, quiet but challenging, flash across the restaurant table, voice cutting through the debate going on across from her. “You don’t own anyone’s body but your own.”

He’d agreed then. He still agrees now.

So he takes a deep breath and tries to understand. They’re young. Stupid. He’s in his last year of university, she’s on a gap year. They’re barely old enough to function in society on their own. It’s understandable. And more importantly, it’s her body. Her choice.

Another deep breath, a bit shakier this time. He settles his mind. “Come home first,” he says quietly, trying to sound as reassuring as possible. “Come home first. We’ll talk about it then, okay?”

There’s a sniff on the other end. “Okay,” she breathes. “Okay.”

The call ends. Chan sits still for a moment, staring at some random section of the wall, thinking but not really seeing. The paint is peeling. The lights are glaring. The university studio, the place he thinks of essentially as a second home, suddenly feels cloistering. Unwelcoming. It feels like some disgusting, warped metaphor for his life.

He buries his head in his hands and tries to breathe.

. . .

Chan can barely face her parents. It’s not that he doesn’t want to. He really wants to tell things upfront, give them his apologies and promise that he’ll do anything to help them out, but they just look at him with smoldering, narrowed eyes. There’s no endearment in her mother’s expression anymore, no quiet pride in her father’s, as though he was another son. There’s only hatred. Disgust. Disappointment.

With a thick tongue and embarrassment coloring his face, he swears up and down that they used protection. She doesn’t say anything, just looks down with a sort of hopeless expression on her face and occasionally nods or shakes her head in accordance with what he’s saying.

They blame him. That much is certain. Privately, Chan thinks that’s a little unfair, but given that the woman bears the brunt of the pregnancy much more than the man, he lets it go. It’s understandable. After all, he blames himself a lot, too.

His parents act a little better. They’ve known him for all twenty-one years of his life, known how he always tries to treat people with respect, with care. Chan can still hear the disappointment and worry in their hushed voices over the phone, but it’s okay. It’s better than hatred.

She doesn’t want the child, she makes that clear. Her parents don’t want it either. They want to adopt it out.

On the other hand, Chan, well… it’s fucking hard. He’s barely finished with university, barely gotten started with his life. And he’s in the damn music industry. Unless he makes it big, there won’t be a lot of opportunities to sort out his life.

But he wants the child. Even though it’s going to be difficult taking care of her through the pregnancy, then making a path with the baby in tow, he wants it. He doesn’t want to give this up.

So they settle. She’ll have the baby. Once it’s born, she’ll take care of some of the bills if she can. Otherwise, Chan is the guardian.

It isn’t so bad, not at first. There’s the morning sickness to contend with, but they live together. It isn’t too hard for Chan to take some time to take care of her. They make the doctor’s trips together, and seven weeks into the pregnancy, they find out they’re having twins.

(Well, Chan is having twins. Her face screws up just the slightest amount, not in disgust but not in something nice either. Chan elects to ignore it and focuses on his own happiness.)

He works like a madman, sending off tracks to companies, submitting others for homework. He performs when he can, picking up any possible extra paychecks. She works, too, so money isn’t an issue yet. Chan also thanks all the higher beings above that she’s on a gap year, so he’s the only one adding homework to the equation.

The storm starts brewing in the fifth or sixth month, maybe. They’re having two boys, and they like to remind her that they’re there. She doesn’t feel well a lot of the time and has the crankiness to prove it. Still, she helps when she doesn’t have cramps, though she does complain about the weight gain.

But the number of nights where they’re up at odd hours only increases. The boys like to kick. Their mother wants to scream. Chan doesn’t even think he has a brain at this point – any cells up in his head have just been pounded to mush.

On one bad night, when she’s almost crying of exhaustion and the babies won’t stop fucking moving, Chan brings out his laptop. His fingers fly over the keyboard, tweaking soft beats, changing notes, composing a short little melody.

It’s rough, nothing substantial, something completely opposite from the polished tracks he makes for class. No lyrics. There’s just a simple piano melody backed by some guitar chords and it’s probably not going to do anything to help but Chan’s this close to just ripping out his hair and screaming for the entire city of Seoul to hear. He has to try something.

He almost deletes the track by mistake and has a mini heart attack, but he saves it with shaking fingers and brings the laptop over to the bed. She’s lying there, hair a mess, eyes red, but there’s some relief in her gaze as he puts the device on the sheets next to her and hits play.

It works. It fucking works. The babies slowly stop kicking, and she eventually falls asleep.

For just a moment, Chan sits on the edge of the bed and takes in the calm, soaks in the silence broken only by the track playing softly in the background. He rubs his eyes once, twice, clears the fog that obscured his vision.

Maybe he can do this. Maybe he can raise these two kids, even if he’s the only parent they have. Maybe there’s the tiniest fucking chance in the world that he can really be a good father, someone for his children to look up to and love. Maybe there’s a chance that he can really have this family.

Four months later, she gives birth to two healthy baby boys. Jisung is born first at 11:58 p.m. on September 14, while Yongbok comes next at 12:11 a.m. on September 15.

Chan holds them close as soon as he’s able, in awe of their tiny faces, their tiny limbs and tiny eyes.

How did he manage to create such life?

“Give them English names,” she says tiredly, her voice barely a whisper. She looks at them too, a bit sadly, with some care, but distantly. “They’re yours.”

A tinge of bitterness spikes in his chest, but it dissolves as he looks back into the faces of his two boys. She’s right. They are his. So he decides on Peter for the baby beginning to wake on his left arm, and Felix for the boy still sleeping soundly on his right.

She’s up and out of the hospital in a matter of days. A week later, she moves back into her parents’ home, leaving Chan standing in the doorway of their apartment, two babies in his arms.

“We’ll make it together,” he whispers, watching her car disappear down the street. “Together.”

Jisung makes a little gurgling sound. Felix scrunches his nose.

The tiniest of smiles slides across Chan’s face. Yes. They’ll make it together.

He takes a breath, then heads back inside.

If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3

(1 reblog = 1 prayer for Chan, he’s going to need it :/)

[monsoonblooms12]

It's time for Pooja and Ethan to play round two of our favorite game ;)

Here we go!

For Both

What’s the most embarrassing childhood story you know about your spouse?

What did they want to be when they were younger?

What was your spouse's favorite band in high school?

Describe your spouse in high school using memes or/and gifs only.

How old was your spouse when they had their first kiss? Who was it with?

If you two were the same age and had met in college, how would you have met? Would you have liked each other? Dated? Eventually married?

Which of your spouse's friends is the most attractive?

Who was your spouse's hero when they were growing up?

Can you name all your spouse’s exes before you?

Bree, thank you so much for these! I loved answering them (and got a little carried away, hehe😅)! But seriously, thank you and love you❤️!

1. What’s the most embarrassing childhood story you know about your spouse?

Pooja: (Evil Laughter)

Ethan: Anything except that Teddy Bear tale.

Pooja: Anything?

Ethan: Why does that scare me?

Pooja: Because I do have some good stories to share about you (winks)

Ethan: My God.

Pooja: This story is around the time when he was 10 or 11. This man was quite an aspiring chef when he was young, I must say. So, it was the first time he was going to make pancakes and he was super enthusiastic about it. He was like, "you just put the batter, flip them and tada!"

Ethan: That's not true.

Pooja: Keep convincing yourself, sweetheart (giggles)

The preparation was going really nice, he had the batter made perfectly, all ready to pour. And then he switched on the stove, placed the pan and poured the batter in it. In the goddamn cold pan.

Ethan: Ugh.

Pooja: And then when he realized that the pancake was taking much longer than it should to get prepared, he put it on high flame and went to drink water. Safe to say, by the time he returned, the poor pancake was all black. 27 years after, he still cannot make them (chuckles)

Ethan: At least I try.

Pooja: (still chuckling) Definitely, I give you a point for that.

Ethan: Pooja's story is more about her trying to be a mini detective when she was 7.

Pooja: Oh no!

Ethan: Oh yes. It was her mother's art exhibition, and she, like the perfect kid she was, she walked all around the place with her mom. One lady, was very curiously gazing at one of her mom's paintings and then started taking pictures of them. Little Poo thought that she was going to carry out a heist and steal all the art pieces, so she took out her faux phone, went close to the lady, and said as loudly as she could, "Hello 911? One lady is trying to steal my mommy's art."

Pooja: She was being suspicious, I couldn't help it.

Ethan: Mini detective (chuckles)

2. What did they want to be when they were younger?

Pooja: Ethan actually wanted to be a chef until he pancake burnt up to ashes. After that, he wanted to be a detective.

Ethan: She wanted to be a private investigator too, later it was forensic investigator.

3. What was your spouse's favorite band in high school?

Pooja: Ethan's favorite was Snow Patrol, and I am glad to be married to a man with superior music taste.

Ethan: Pooja was not much of a band person. She was and still is, an old classic Bollywood music lover. But if I had to choose, Silk Road & Sanam, both Indian bands.

4. Describe your spouse in high school using memes or/and gifs only.

Pooja: Ah, yes, love this question.

Ethan: I will never understand this craze over gifs or memes or whatever they are called.

Pooja: Well, it's quite easy to guess, because I don't think there is much difference between this Ethan & that Ethan.

Ethan: Pooja has two very clearly distinguishable moods, one when she is hyper productive,

And the other when she is super lazy.

Pooja: I- You just described my entire life with those two.

Ethan: I just know you well, Rookie.

5. How old was your spouse when they had their first kiss? Who was it with?

Pooja: He was almost 15 when he kissed his Highschool sweetheart, Eva. He wanted to make his first kiss a special occasion, with a date and all, but it just happened and I don't think he regrets it.

Ethan: She wasn't my high school sweetheart, we just liked each other. And I do wish that my first kiss was you.

Pooja: Aww, stop (blushing)

Ethan: (After giving Poo a cheek kiss) Pooja's first kiss was actually an accident.

Pooja: And here I was relaxed thinking you won't bring it up after the embarrassing story question.

Ethan: (Whole-hearted chuckle) But technically it was your first kiss, accidental or not.

Pooja: (Totally embarrassed) Whatever.

Ethan: This was when she was 14. There was guy in her class who liked her, and wanted to date her. One day, Pooja slipped on a puddle of water, and he, trying to help, held her hand. The next moment, he was on the top of her, lips touching.

Pooja: (in a pleading tone) Please, Pleease, Stop. It's too embarrassing!

6. If you two were the same age and had met in college, how would you have met? Would you have liked each other? Dated? Eventually married?

Pooja: Oh, most definitely! Honestly, I feel like us falling in love is inevitable.

Ethan: I do not believe in soulmate stuff, but it's unimaginable for me to not fall in love with you.

Pooja: (lays her head on his shoulder as he gives her a kiss on the forehead) I think we would have met as opponents at a debate competition. We would be the only two yelling till the end of the competition, trying to prove the other wrong, until the judges got fed up and asked us to stop. Even after the competition, we would still meet in the corridors and tell the other how wrong they were.

Ethan: After sometime, we would become friends over shared interests, and after getting to know her, I would naturally start to fall for her.

Pooja: Me too! I would be totally like, "No matter how much he yells and how wrong he was, he is still cute. And not a totally bad guy." We would gradually become best friends.

Ethan: I would be the one to comfort her when she discovers her crush is in relationship with someone else.

Pooja: And you would realize that you are in love with me (gives him an elbow nudge)

Ethan: (softly smiling) Maybe I would. And I would imagine you falling in love with me not much later.

Pooja: And then we would be sitting alone, talking about random stuff. Suddenly we look at each other's eyes, and before we realize it, we are kissing.

Ethan: We would start dating afterwards, all through med school and residency. I would definitely want to marry her, have a future with her. I like to imagine that I would be lucky enough and she would agree to be mine.

Pooja: No matter which universe, I would always agree to marry you. Every time.

(They share a soft kiss, heart full of love for each other)

7. Which of your spouse's friends is the most attractive?

Ethan: All her friends are quite attractive, even if she the only one who catches my eye.

Pooja: I am assuming that you mean all my current friends and not ex-friends. Or Landry.

(Ethan's face scrunches up in disgust and Pooja's question is answered)

Pooja: For me, it's Tobias.

Ethan: (Rolls his eyes) Him out of everyone else? You could have said Mark.

Pooja: Mark is attractive, for sure, but he has become more of my brother over time. Also, if he got to know it, he would never let me live it down (chuckles)

Ethan: But still, Tobias...

Pooja: You are jealous, aren't you? (Winks)

Ethan: (Quickly straightens his face) No, Of course not. I don't get jealous Rookie, don't forget.

Pooja: Sure thing, E, sure thing.

8. Who was your spouse's hero when they were growing up?

Ethan: Pooja and I have similar opinions on this. We don't have a hero or an idol. Yes, there are quite a few people who have inspired us, but we both don't have any hero. For Pooja, it was her parents, especially her mother. Later on, it was Kadambini Bose, the first woman from India to practice medicine and (gives a striking smile, bubbling with happiness) of course, me.

Pooja: (Mimicking him) Of course, me.

Ethan: (in a teasing tone) Is it not true?

(Pooja just rolls her eyes)

Pooja: For Ethan, it was his father and Naveen.

Ethan: You too, Rookie.

Pooja: (With genuine curiosity) Me?

Ethan: You have inspired me to appreciate the little things in life and to love myself. You have played a big role in making me the man I am today.

Pooja: (Sniffles) Did you come here with an aim to make me cry, Dr Ramsey?

Ethan: (Smiling at her) It's the truth and you should know it.

9. Can you name all your spouse’s exes before you?

Ethan: This is probably the easiest question for me to answer. She has had three relationships in total. A lot of crushes, but very few actual relationships. One was during her middle school, I guess his name was Shresht. The second one was with her best friend, Ayaan and lasted all through med school. The last one, is Me.

Pooja: The ones I know are Eva and Rosalie in high school, Renia in med school and Harper during his residency and after. Ethan has a number of casual and serious relationships and honestly, I am not surprised. Everyone wants to be with a man like him (Winks)

Ethan: You are the only one who can have me.

Pooja: (Places a hand over her heart) I am honoured, Dr Ramsey. And lucky, so damn lucky.

Ethan: I am lucky one here, love. (Gives her a forehead kiss)

[hopevalley]

Season 8, Episode 1: Open Season

Work was busier than expected on Monday, but the deep dive into the first episode of S8 begins now!

Scene 1: Narration, Elizabeth and Nathan, Lucas

The awkwardness between Elizabeth and Nathan was...palpable at first lol.The best part about the non-narrated part of the scene is twofold: Nathan interacting with Jack is a well-needed and very nice touch, and of course it’s always nice to see that Nathan is patient concerning Elizabeth’s situation and reassures her that she can let him know when she’s ready to go to dinner with him.

My problem with the whole thing is that...if she hasn’t spoken up about wanting that dinner date yet, and she’s not saying yes she’d like to get dinner with you now, it’s like...any sane person would assume at this point in the story that Elizabeth isn’t interested in Nathan. Worse, Nathan isn’t the kind of man who wouldn’t take a hint. I’m pretty sure this is why the opening scene felt just a little bit off. I think they ought to have let Elizabeth be a little more enthusiastic about the idea while still failing to commit to it. 

To be fair to the writers, I can’t imagine it was easy for them to figure out how to open this season after such a long time gap. They let a whole winter elapse between last season and this one. How do you explain literally no major development with the love triangle in that amount of time? Especially after the way the last season ended?

Random consideration: the camera focuses on Elizabeth’s face a lot and makes her wedding ring clearly visible.

Boom, the flashback with Lucas. I think having him leave out of jealousy was a better idea than having his mother fall ill (we’ve certainly seen that enough at this point), and maybe we should also consider the fact that while Lucas was gone, Nathan didn’t really jump on the opportunity to woo Elizabeth himself.

I wonder if we’ll get an explanation for that or not. What makes Lucas so sure that after 4+ months, Elizabeth hasn’t started courting Nathan? Maybe he kept in touch with someone in town? Or he just knows Elizabeth well enough to know she wouldn’t feel quite ready to commit in that time frame anyway?

I did really like Lucas’s opening scene with Elizabeth. Honestly, he was quite likable, here: admitting he was wrong, admitting his shortcomings, apologizing. All good things. “I’m ashamed I let my jealousy get the best of me... The worst of me.” That’s such a good line.

It didn’t feel equal in enthusiasm to the Nathan scene, but I’ll have more thoughts on that later. I do believe it was on purpose.

--

Scene 2: Clara and Jesse’s Fight, The Café

I like the concept of some marital discord for Clara and Jesse. Marriage is easier said than done and like any serious relationship, it’s a lot of consistent maintenance. It starts out pretty well, with Jesse sleeping in the other bedroom. At this point I fully expected to find out Clara kicks in her sleep or she snores a lot or something that’s funny to hear about but really difficult to actually deal with in real life. Color me disappointed later, but I’ll get to it.

--

Scene 3: The Mercantile, Ned, Florence, Carson

This just set up things with Faith’s situation so there’s not much to say, but as always I do love Florence. I hope she gets some good scenes this season. And I love Ned so I hope the same for him.

Henry coming in to mail a letter was interesting, though. I’m not sure it’ll mean anything in particular later, but...it’s possible.  Then again, maybe he’s just here to set our expectations regarding Faith’s return (of course it’s a long trip from Chicago) or Carson’s worry (a bit unreasonable unless he expected to hear from her at a specific stop).

--

Scene 4: Nathan, Dylan

Dylan is such an incredible scumbag. The spurs were a nice touch. He says things almost fondly (“She’s growing up... My little girl.”) and then wants nothing to actually do with Allie. 

The guy’s actually a pretty good actor. The way he segues into being glad for Allie’s sake that Nathan wasn’t the one killed. If the next words out of his mouth weren’t a demand for go-away money you’d almost feel those words were genuine!

--

Scene 5: Lee and Rosemary’s Return + Faith’s Return + Dylan Part Two

Lots of energy in this scene, both good and bad. I always appreciate what Lee and Rosemary bring to the show. I genuinely just don’t care that much about Faith. I’m ready to ship her with Cowboy Brett Brewer. He gets a name, which makes me wonder if he’s gonna show up again. :3

Lol at Carson’s jelly face:

I MEAN...

Not a fan of Faith’s outfit...but to be fair we’ve never really seen Faith outside of uniform. That just doesn’t strike me as something she would wear to travel in...?

Dylan approaching Jack and Jack speaking to him was so hilarious to me. “A puppy!” It’s extra funny after he looked afraid of Rosemary. Nathan intervening was undoubtedly for the best, but I can’t imagine why he would have approached Elizabeth or Jack. He doesn’t know who they are, or their connection to Nathan. Maybe too convenient. Might have been better to have him approach someone else entirely--like Opal.

--

Scene 6: Nathan and Allie

It’s great Nathan’s officializing the adoption but he had literal years to do this and only chooses now, when there’s a threat? Legally Dylan doesn’t have a leg to stand on even in that day and age (he did the abandoning in the first place + Nathan is a lawman)... It kind of ruined the cute moment for me, and I think it will come back in a bad way later.

I don’t mind Nathan’s inability to confide in Elizabeth in this situation. At this point, she doesn’t need to know, and the situation is just weird enough that he probably doesn’t think he needs to dump his own problems on her.

--

Scene 7: Carson and Faith

I’m the jerk who just chanted “BREAK UP BREAK UP BREAK UP” during this scene in my head. I just...don’t care about Faith and Carson.

--

Scene 8: Bill and The Gals

I hate that they keep retconning Bill’s ability to cook well with every passing season. In season 2 and 3 he was more than satisfactory. In S4 he made dinner for Dottie and it was really nice. Now he’s godawful and doesn’t taste his own shit before letting other people try it? Come on.

This is the kind of stuff the writing team needs to cut out of the story. It’s not funny. 

Worse, outspoken Fiona lying to Bill? I just don’t see it. At least Molly told him the truth...but I still am just SO tired of seeing this shit. It makes me think new writers only watched the last couple of seasons instead of all of them.

Also, if Bill is literally running the cafe most of the time, if he was bad at cooking, then...the place would have shut down ages ago. What they should lean into if they wanna do a cooking joke is that Bill isn’t good at creating recipes from scratch. Maybe he doesn’t have a strong sense of taste (my husband has this issue so it’s the first thing that comes to mind) so he’s likely to over-do things like spice or sugar or salt on accident. There’s also a lot of room for jokes about his “taste” in things that can come of it (women, clothes, et cetera).

--

Scene 9: Lee’s Pants

Good scene, 10/10, wouldn’t change a thing. I hope this pants thing becomes a running gag. This is the good kind of humor I want in my life. And I like that Jesse wants to emulate Lee. It’s wholesome. 

--

Scene 10: Rosemary and Clara

The ribbon as a tissue was funny, but it was just SLIGHTLY too over the top for me.

--

Scene 11: Faith and Carson Again...............

“Were you jealous of that cowboy?” I think he should be. The cowboy is better. I don’t give a damn about these characters. And I genuinely hate that the strumming is Carson’s Thing Now. At the very least we should get some Carson and Bill doing a duet together which would be cool.

It just felt like it was shilling Paul and had nothing to do with the characters.

--

Scene 12: Mmm Money

This is arguably the most interesting scene in the episode. Lucas nodded at Nathan. Nathan went to Lucas for money. Lucas didn’t need to get the scoop to find out why Nathan needed it to loan it to him. Elizabeth is officially the least interesting part of the love triangle.

They treat her like she’s such a prize to be won, but I’m starting to worry that she’s become the new Lorigail on the show.

Anyway this scene had some gay vibes and I liked them.

--

Scene 13: Rosemary and Elizabeth Catch Up

YES. GOOD SCENE. It starts off fun and it gets serious, and the transition feels really natural. “Did he have reason to be [jealous]?” I’m genuinely glad this is in the episode. It needed to be. I hope Rosemary continues to ask the hard questions.

Elizabeth needs to face either dating one of them, or dating neither of them so that everybody can get on with their lives. If you’re not that enthusiastic about either of them I’d say...maybe don’t date either of them idk.

--

Scene 14: Nathan and Bill Talk

"If he sees you with me, then...” The problem with this scene is uh...twofold, let’s say.

Issue 1: ThEN HE WILL WHAT, NATHAN? WHAT HAS HE EVER DONE BEFORE THAT WAS SO BAD if he’s not a hard criminal? Maybe an example would be useful here...?

Issue 2: The old Bill Avery would have heard “if he SEES YOU with ME” and mentally been like, “all right so it’s only bad if he SEES ME” and spied on Nathan.

Nathan wanting Bill to stay behind in case Dylan doubles back isn’t a terrible idea, but it almost comes across more like...the writers just want Nathan alone.

--

Scene 15: Oil

I like the discussion and that Hickam gets to do something. I feel like Henry is low-key advising against shooting the well, and that Lucas and Hickam will end up doing it and causing an issue. It’s just setting up for the future and it’s nice to see those kinds of scenes in the series again!

--

Scene 16: Jesse and Lee

I’d like this scene more if I felt it gave us ANY insight into the problem Jesse and Clara are having. It mostly comes across like Jesse gets home and does nothing at all until bedtime and Clara is lonely. Could have been a better scene. It’s mostly just repetitive right now.

--

Scene 17: Nathan Cancels the Date

“Tomorrow’s Saturday.” Nathan’s like uhhhhh. This actually works really well to do what it’s supposed to do. By that I mean, he seems “off” so Elizabeth realizes he’s a bit stressed and leaving town = mountie business = dangerous.

I kind of wish Rosemary and Elizabeth would talk more about this, but maybe that’s coming in an episode soon...?

--

Scene 18: The Barbershop

Just a cute nice scene that shows a good friendship between Fiona, Clara, and Faith. I like this stuff. Keep it coming, Hallmark!

--

(Skipping Scene 19 because it’s just Nathan riding around...)

--

Scene 20: Lee and Rosemary Scheme

I really enjoyed this little bit where they decide to buy something for Clara and Jesse and we don’t get to see what it is. Super wholesome and very fun!

--

Scene 21: Nathan gets Ambushed

This scene was absolutely wild. Probably one of the best scenes like this that they’ve ever done. Dylan taking Nathan’s hat, “Take care of my little girl” after he takes the money and Nathan’s gun. It was super good.

Also, not too fake that Nathan was on the ground that long. If you got roped off of your horse you’d have the wind knocked out of you super hard lmao.

--

Scene 22: Bill & The Girls

Clara and Fiona are so cute. Bill playing the “Dad” figure to them both is really nice and it’s good for him. “I’m a lawman. I get to sneak.” What a Bill response. 

--

(Skipping Scene 23 since it’s just Nathan finding his horse.)

--

Scene 24: Lucas visits with Elizabeth

Lucas and Elizabeth are flirting via a nursery rhyme. I...don’t like that LOL. But Lucas’s “Helen Bouchard taught me to read and after that I was on my own.” She really sounds unloving. This was a pretty decent scene, though.

Also, Grand Isle Louisiana had a major hurricane in 1909 and 1915.

They also seem to have been hit by more mild hurricanes in 1916 and 1917, but the 1915 one was a Cat4, so...the most notable.

--

Scene 25: Rosemary and Lee in the Dress Shop

This tries to solve the issue of Clara and Jesse’s marital problems, but it doesn’t actually do that. “Let Jesse read when he gets home.” “I’ll talk to Jesse.” Meh.

--

Scene 26: Barbershop

“Why do this when you’re so good with women’s hair?” I fully expected Fiona to say, “That’s where all the hot gossip is, of course.” I do like  her gumption, though!

--

Scene 27: Nathan Finds Dylan

“I had to let you ambush me, so I had grounds to put you away.” COLD BUT EFFECTIVE. I appreciate this.

Imagine getting to be this smug. I wish it were me.

Anyway, long-term thoughts on this are mostly that...there is just no reasonable way Dylan’s story is over yet. It’s too juicy of a storyline to let go this easily. Allie is going to find out what Nathan did and she’s going to struggle to come to terms with it, especially after her grandfather really did try to turn his life around. Why couldn’t it be the same for her father? Why couldn’t she get lucky like that?

I hope it feels satisfying, whatever they choose to do. Otherwise this was just wrapped up too neatly/too quickly.

--

Scene 28: Nathan Returns

Very good scene. Nathan’s in a good mood and he does my favorite trope of all time when one person in the relationship has a child: “Why don’t we all go?” You already all know each other, so why not? It’s wholesome and good, and it shows he doesn’t care how he gets to spend time with Elizabeth, as long as he does.

Also, it takes a lot of the pressure off of her for the duration of the date and at its conclusion. This was a cute and good scene, one of the better they’ve had, I think.

--

Scene 29: Jesse and Lee Talk

This was a nice attempt at a talk, but it really comes off like Jesse has stopped loving Clara for no reason. That his romantic interest in her is what is causing the failure in their relationship.

The problem is: WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS CAUSING IT. NOBODY EVER SAID. 

I agree that love isn’t “just” a feeling or “just” an emotion. It’s ALSO a choice. Marriage is a commitment you choose to continue every day. That is all good.

“Choose love. Then you feel it.” is probably some of the worst dialogue they’ve put in the show, though. Yuck. It left a bad taste in my mouth. It feels like it’s shaming people who legitimately fall out of love or who are in bad relationships. “If only you chose to work harder.”

I don’t think that was their intention at all, but it really soured the scene. I would have MUCH rather have had Lee get Jesse to talk about what’s wrong and then offer him pointers on how he could do better. Maybe he’s stressed out and losing himself in books, or he wishes Clara would sit and read with him because that’s something he always wanted. Or maybe Clara would be down for reading time if he read to her while she did her sewing.

There’s so much they could have done here to really send this home, but it didn’t work very well. At the very least Lee could have said, instead of ‘choose love’: CHOOSE COMMUNICATION. Make sure she knows you still feel that way about her.

The biggest thing is like, Lee could also be very encouraging in saying like, the honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever but just because things settle down doesn’t mean the love is less.

THERE IS SO MUCH GOOD STUFF THEY COULD HAVE WRITTEN FOR THIS but they chose “Choose love. Then you feel it.” WTF. That’s awful advice.

--

Scene 30: Jesse and Clara

Him bringing her flowers was a nice touch, and her getting him the book was also nice. The tandem bike was SO unexpected to me and I loved it. It’s just goofy enough that it works. The best part is that they know it’s not going to fix anything, but it’s still a fun and nice thing to do, and that’s wonderful for Rosemary and Lee. They both like to make the people they care about happy.

--

Scene 31: Mama Bouchard

MILF ALERT.

Elizabeth is just so shook at all of this she doesn’t say a damn thing for so long it made my palms feel sweaty.

“Someone ought to take an interest in your writing, don’t you think?” I rewatched the episode to understand the tone, and it’s a little hoity-toity/uppity, but she actually doesn’t sound condescending. It’s good for an editor to meet the author, after all, and meet to talk about their writing/book. This has always been custom, even in the early 1900s. Authors didn’t usually get their work published by an editor they’d never met (though of course, you will find some exceptions). 

From the little we saw, Helen seems fine. The preview for the next episode tells us she’s UH, AN EDITOR DOING HER JOB, so I’m not looking forward to the editor being the bad guy, but I guess I’ll have to deal with that when it arrives. (To be clear, Elizabeth has never proved to the audience that she’s a Good Writer, let alone a Great Writer. She’s also not experienced which means her work probably NEEDS SOME WORK.)

Anyway, Elizabeth is immediately rude as HELL. Nobody can make an excuse for this. Helen isn’t THAT big of a deal. There are other publishers. Your father is filthy rich. If she changes her mind about your book you can pub to someone via your father if you have to. Like...Helen wouldn’t have taken you on if she didn’t see any potential in you. 

Even if it was a big deal, Elizabeth has NEVER been a flake. EVER. 

This is a classic case of a writer forcing the character to go out of character in order to bend to what the plot dictates. 

If I were Nathan, I’d drop Elizabeth like a brick.

How to fix this scene? I’ll honestly have to think about that for a while. This was the first hint of truly bad writing this season. The bit with Lee and “choose love” was careless writing, but this scene with Nathan is just Bad.

The thing is, I KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING. I know they put this in there so that it looks like she’ll choose Lucas because she never even goes out with Nathan, and then BOOM. I know it’s meant to be this big thing about how she’s scared to feel anything for Nathan because Lucas is the safer option and also a good man (so why would she fall for the more frightening option?).

But this was not the right way to do this type of scene. I hope to God in the next episode someone says something about it. Allie could tell her it was rude and it hurt Nathan’s feelings/you shouldn’t have said yes if you didn’t want to. It’d be fully in character for her. Rosemary could also say something similar. If they do, I might be able to forgive this...but if it’s not called attention to by the other characters, then it’s a massive failure as a scene to me.

--

Did I miss anything? Do you want my thoughts on something in particular? Shoot me a message HERE and I’ll do my best to answer! 

[bluejaywriter]

Guess who re-listened to the entire ZSJL (all 4 hours)

Me. The answer is me.

Thoughts while listening to ZSJL the second time:

Intro/Part 1: “Should be called “The Amazons””

1. Philippus got the first line of ZSJL (“Alert the Queen!”), unless you count Clark going “URRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH” fifty times, or the Amazons going “OOH-AHH! when the motherbox first goes off.

2. Bruce “Vain” trolololol you probably think this movie’s about you, don’t you, don’t you

3. I wish they did more with Lois in this movie. I was pretty happy with what they gave to Iris and Elinore and the Amazons, but Lois did seem pretty stuck in her “mourning for Superman” mode. Which, okay. But also, ehh.

4. Also I only know Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds from that one Harry Potter scene.

5. Has anyone actually counted how many times the Ancient Lamentation Music™ shows up.

6. Why does Wondy’s theme have a cooler synth in this movie than in her movie that’s literally set in the 80s.

7. Have I ever mentioned how much I love Hippolyta? I should mention it more often. She deserves good things (better things than this damn universe seems to want her to have :P).

8. I love that Menalippe is the one calling the Amazons back to their marks. That’d be Antiope’s job if she were here :(

9. Damn even the Amazons get a cool synth theme.

10. But it really is interesting that Junkie XL went with a synth instead of just a straight-up orchestral sound, or even the more tribal sound he seemed to be going for in other parts.

11. I appreciate that the Amazon fighting sounds aren’t like… you know. How most female fighting sounds are in media.

Part 2: “Artemis needs her own movie”

12. I don’t like Steppenwolf’s voice

13. God I’m so glad they got rid of all the Joss lines :P

14. You’d think after 100 years in Man’s World, Diana would have some better excuses up her sleeve e.g. “I sat inside reading a book all weekend” or “I watched a vintage TV show” like God, Diana. Do better.

15. Every time they say “quarantine” in this movie I feel things I’m not supposed to feel.

16. I still don’t get the Aquaman song when he’s taking off his shirt. It just… is a weird fit.

17. I’m glad we got an Aquaman movie before this. It… would’ve been confusing without it. Like, who’s this random long-haired dude.

18. “Dessad, Dessad, I call to thee” is how I start Zoom calls now.

19. I really like Dessad’s voice. It just… it’s nasally enough to be, oh so it’s this character. You just know who he is from the moment he speaks.

20. I dislike WonderBat very strongly but like. Ehh. I get that people like it, and it’s more canon-supported than any of my ships, that’s for sure.

21. I kind of wish we’d gotten the scene where the Amazon turns into a parademon. Or whoever it was.

22. Just listening to the movie makes me realize how grunty Darkseid is. I wish he had some language (maybe he is speaking Apokoliptian? And I’m just uneducated?).

Part 3: “Ray Fisher needs to do audiobooks”

23. I think Barry/Iris’ song is the first one I felt like the pop song really worked with the scene.

24. The football scene was the first part in the movie where I was like, okay the soundtrack is pretty good. It’s not as strong or memorable as Hans Zimmer’s on the last two Snyder DC films, but it does a reasonably good job supporting the film.

25. Ray Fisher has such a beautiful voice.

26. The whole Cyborg sequence is one of my favorite things ever. 2nd or 3rd favorite scene after the Speedforce.

27. I don’t have a lot of patience for Barry, in general. He’s less awkward than in the Josstice League, but he’s still on thin ice.

28. I feel like Arthur’s background scenes are the weakest overall. It might be because we got an entire Aquaman movie, but I also feel like I would’ve been really confused if I hadn’t seen that movie first.

Part 4: “Exposition and stuff”

29. There’s really not a lot of dialogue in this movie. Like. A LOT of things are just visual storytelling. It makes just listening to the movie interesting.

30. Okay, but did anyone else think that Martha Kent had a stronger Southern accent in her scene with Lois? Like, I know it’s someone trying to do his best impression of a Kansas farmer, but... like, sometimes in the past movies she’ll have a slight Midwestern twang, but it’s never quite Southern, and it’s throwing me off.

30. I… get that Superman is like the big deal but it really doesn’t make sense to me that the Apokoliptians never came back in the 5000ish years that Superman WASN’T active. I mean he was only Supermanning for what, less than two years? You literally have a 5000 year-old warrior on your team, I wonder how we can utilize that time frame in a way that make more sense... :P

Part 5: “But what if I don’t care about Superman”

31. I just feel like the part where they’re bringing Superman back is the most boring part lol

32. I also don’t like that Lois JUST gets back on her feet and then… Clark shows up again surprise motherfucker

33. I’m curious what the point was of Aquaman pushing against waking up the Motherbox and Bruce pushing back. Like. Does anything come from that.

34. Okay. This is 1.5 years of writing the Goddess of Death talking, but I kind of strongly dislike that they brought Clark back like this instead of doing the honorable thing and actually going to the Underworld to beg for him back. Like. The JL honestly deserved to get their assess kicked for trying to cheat Death like that. Also it would’ve been cathartic for Arthur’s “no one getting back without trading one in return” line to come into fruition with Bruce dying and then Clark getting his memories back immediately afterward when Lois appeared. Take that Batman

35. Batman, you dumb fuck, the safeword isn’t “Clark” or “This world needs you” it’s “SAVE MARTHA”

36. I’m bored.

Part 6: “The Flash scene”

37. Honestly, am I the only one who doesn’t care about Superman? He’s a side character in this movie. Give me more Cyborg scenes. He just lost his father for God’s sake. Why didn’t we get the scene of Victor figuring out how to get the plane to fly?

38. Although, I have to say when Supes shows up it’s a fun fight. Did he have to punch Steppenwolf so many times tho. It’s fucking brutal.

39. I have no complaints about anything. Forget everything I ever said. This Flash scene. God.

40. Oh good, Cyborg is back. Let’s stay with this guy for a bit. He’s neat.

41. I love that Arthur and Diana both got their dues for Steppy attacking/tormenting their respective peoples.

42. A Hall of Justice/recap scene would’ve been nice. Like we didn’t actually get to see all six of the League just sitting together (eating pie at Ma Kent’s diner) and celebrating.

43. I’m so glad the outro is Silas instead of Lois. It just feels right.

44. I actually prefer Henry Allen’s “Look at you go” line to the “His foot’s in the door” bit. Don’t tell anyone I said that

45. HI DUSTY

46. Man… I hope they don’t kill Hippolyta in a future movie (says me who’s killed Hippolyta in most of my own DC universes)

47. Why does the fake Luthor have such a Joker-esque laugh.

48. I don’t actually care about the Joker. Maybe if I did, then I would care about this scene.

49. Well that was fun.

ALM* final count: 19 appearances

*Ancient Lamentation Music

[tackletofset]

list of best tom/harry fanfic

Uuummmm��. Okay

*is actually excited*

Tomarry Fic Rec List

Disclaimer: Mind that this is my version of favorite Tomarry fanfics and I might have missed some others doesn’t mean that they’re less phenomenal.Also, the list is by random order.

Click on the titles for links :3

Don’t Fuck With Florists (They’ll Fuck You Up) by MayMarlow

Teen And Up | 13944 words | No Archive Warnings Apply | One-Shot | Completed

Characters: Tom Riddle, Harry Potter, Mr Borgin

Relationships : Harry Potter/Tom Riddle

Summary: Unsatisfied with his post-war life, Harry decides to get to the root of all of his problems when that root was still working at Borgin and Burkes shop in the late 40s. He’s the Master of Death, damn it, he can do what he wants for once in his life.Tom Riddle isn’t particularly happy about working at a small, dingy shop for magical artifacts, no matter how interesting those artifacts are. He’s even less happy when an insufferable stranger sets up the most obnoxious flower shop right across the street.What follows would be a romantic comedy, if it weren’t for politics.

My notes: I love this fic because of the political undertone, and not-so-subtle reference for Trump. I love how Harry could sway Tom’s from being a Dark Lord into Minister for Magic. If you like dark humor you’d enjoy this fic ;)

Rumpelstiltskin by Gallons_of_the_Stuff

General | 8884 words | No Archive Warnings Apply | Chapter 2/4 | Ongoing

Characters: Merope Gaunt, Tom Riddle Sr., Tom Riddle, Harry Potter, Fem!Harry Character

Relationships : Merope Gaunt/Tom Riddle Sr., Harry Potter/Tom Riddle

Summary: He was all she ever wanted, and she knew exactly how she could have him - even if it would not be real. Then a stranger made her an offer she could not refuse, for a price that seemed like a joke at the time. Was it really just a teasing remark though? Or would her deal cost her more than she ever wanted to give up?

My notes: This is how Merope/Tom Sr relationship goes without a love potion. Merope is aided by Fem!Harry who ‘only’ asks for her firstborn in return.

The Dark Serpent and The Dark Horse by Kaede Ravensdale

Mature | 104187 words | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Chapter 40/? | Ongoing

Characters: Tom Riddle Sr., Tom Riddle, Harry Potter

Relationships : Tom Riddle Sr. & Tom Riddle Jr, Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, Tom Riddle Sr./Severus Snape

Summary: In which Tom Riddle Senior never could fully put Merope’s claims of being pregnant out of his mind and set out to bring his child home, unwittingly changing the fate of both the Wizarding and Muggle worlds and laying waste to the machinations of a certain scheming old man.

My notes: THIS IS LIKE BY FAR, MY MOST FAVORITE TOM RIDDLE FIC EVER!!! LIKE, EVER!!! THIS IS SO PHENOMENAL! I mean Tomarry + TomSr/Jr bonding is perf Spoiler! Tom is related to the Targaryens in this fic.  Baby Tom gets the Father’s love that he deserves. Also openlymanipulative!Dumbledore and Slytherin!Harry. Best ever. I hope the author will update soon before my head starts flooding with imagines of this fic, such as Tom Sr. stands in between the little Tom (and Harry, so he’s protecting them both) and the killing curse (a curse probably by Grindelwald or Dumbledore). Also, now I like to listen to Targaryen theme music while musing about Tom Sr :3 I also imagine him trying to ride a dragon for the first time, awkwardly in muggle clothes while his son watches in awe. Him riding a dragon to a war against Grindelwald, also arriving in Hogsmeade alongside his son bringing dragons :3 ahh the Tomgaryens.

Little Red Riding Hood by BigJellyMonster (orphan_account)

Teen and Up | 1256 words | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Oneshot | Completed

Characters: Harry Potter, Tom Riddle

Relationships : Harry Potter/Tom Riddle/Voldemort

Summary: Harry has to deliver a basket of treats to his neighbors on the other side of the forest. He was told never to talk to strangers. Too bad he doesn’t listen.

My notes: Very cute Harry. Manipulative Tom. Fluff. Definitely should read.

I Speak Parseltounge by BigJellyMonster (orphan_account)

General | 1602 words | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Oneshot | Completed

Characters: Harry Potter, Tom Riddle

Relationships : Harry Potter/Tom Riddle

Summary: Tom keeps hitting on Harry in parseltounge but he doesn’t know that Harry speaks it too.

My notes: Another light fic. Sneaky Harry. Reccommended!

Pass the salt, Daddy by DarkkBluee

Not Rated | 1569 words | No Archive Warnings Apply | Oneshot | Completed

Characters: Harry Potter, Tom Riddle | Voldemort, James Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Tom Riddle Sr., Thomas Riddle, Mary Riddle, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin

Relationship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin

Summary :Tom and Harry have a family dinner.“Daddy, can you pass the salt?”Or not.Seven pairs of eyes swivel in his direction.

My notes: Harry has seven Daddies. Nuff said.

Meeting the Parents by temptresslove

Teen and Up | 4113 words | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Oneshot | Completed

Characters: Harry Potter, Tom Riddle, Lily Evans Potter, Tom Riddle Sr., James Potter, Narcissa Black Malfoy

Relationship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle, Harry Potter/Tom Riddle | Voldemort, Harry Potter/Tom Riddle/Voldemort, Harry Potter & Tom Riddle, Harry Potter & Tom Riddle | Voldemort

Summary :“It’s nice to finally meet you, Tom,” Lily says with a big smile. “I’ve heard so much about you.”Beside her, Harry noticeably stiffens.“Oh?” Tom asks, one eyebrow raised elegantly, looking at Harry amusedly. “Only good things, I hope.”“Oh yes,” Lily gushes. “Very good things, indeed.”Harry grabs Lily by the arm that almost hurt and smiles at her tightly. “Mom, shouldn’t you be going to Headmaster Dippet’s office by now?” The way his grip threatened Lily made her grin even larger.

My note: Another oneshot I really, really like! This is an omegaverse, fluff, very cute Tomarry interactions. I like how they write the relationships to their parents as well. Love this one.

To Be Set Free by Merrinpippy

Teen and Up | 35831 words | No Archive Warnings Apply | Chapter 14/14 | Completed

Characters: Harry Potter, Tom Riddle, Dudley Dursley, Petunia Evans Dursley, Vernon Dursley, Tom Riddle Sr., Albus Dumbledore, Gellert Grindelwald, Dobby, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Ginny Weasley, Draco Malfoy, Bartemius Crouch Jr., The Brazilian Boa Constrictor (Harry Potter), Lucius Malfoy, Dolores Umbridge

Relationship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle,

Summary : Harry Potter, raised and abused by the Dursleys ever since his parents died, lives in the cupboard under the stairs. He has no friends or family who love him and his life is dull until one day a letter arrives arrives for him, written in green ink, that promises freedom. Sounds familiar, right?King Thomas Riddle’s illness combined with his political paranoia pushes him to arrange three royal balls, after which his son, Prince Tom Riddle, must choose a guest to marry, thereby securing the kingdom’s future and solidifying their strength in the eyes of their allies/enemies. Tom is convinced that he will be able to defy his father and choose no-one, or at least he is until at the first ball he meets an attractive stranger with dark hair and glasses who won’t tell anyone his name…

My notes: A really sweet Cinderella AU! You’d love the chemistry between Tomarry here.

Ice Cream Stalker by Watermelonsmellinfellon

Teen and Up | 750 words | No Archive Warnings Apply | Oneshot | Completed

Characters: Tom Riddle, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger

Relationship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle,

Summary : @vertibirdo on Tumblr Prompted: Yo, would you be up to doing some Tomarry non-magic Modern AU? Something cute?

My notes: A lighthearted, fluff AU. Love it, and how Hermione’s helping Tom to approach Harry.

Matchmaker, Matchmaker by Watermelonsmellinfellon

Teen and Up | 1948 words | No Archive Warnings Apply | Oneshot | Completed

Characters: Tom Riddle, Harry Potter, Nagini

Relationship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle,

Summary : Nagini acts as a messenger for Harry and Tom, carrying insulting messages between the Slytherin dungeon and Gryffindor Tower. Eventually, Nagini gets bored and starts making up stuff, and the messages just become confusing. Nagini becomes a matchmaker. Unwittingly.

My notes: Tomarry shippers are Nagini.

Diablerie by Oceanbreeze7

Teen and Up | 156584 words | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Chapter: 22/25 | Ongoing

Characters: Tom Riddle | Voldemort, Tom Riddle, Harry Potter, Order of the Phoenix, Hogwarts Students, Hogwarts Staff, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Albus Dumbledore

Relationship: Harry Potter & Tom Riddle,

Summary : Moody reclined in his chair, his prosthetic scratched over the floor. “What year is it, Riddle.”It wasn’t phrased like a question, maybe that was why Tom finally answered.“September.” Tom clipped out coldly. “1942. You know this.”’Harry inhaled so sharply he choked on his spit. He hurriedly turned away, hacking and wheezing as he nearly asphyxiated on his own saliva.“Yeah,” Moody grimaced with a slight disgruntled noise hidden in his tone, “that’s a problem.”

Tom Riddle, 15 years old, in the middle of the London Blitz suddenly finds himself in a future with no allies, resources, information, and everyone he knows treats him with enough restraint to not murder him on the spot. It takes a lot to truly ruin a human being, to rot them so thoroughly even fruit flies avoid the stench. Tom doesn’t want this bullshit, Tom only wants to-‘Please God, let me live.

My notes: I haven’t finished reading this one, but it’s really good. This fic could capture the terrifying essence of devastation of war and death. It contains a graphic and detailed description about Tom trying to survive in the blitz, so it’s not for those who aren’t into those heavy materials.

[iwannawritepls]

Writing Update 05

Guess who finished. guess. go on guess. That’s right it was me!!

It was pretty intense because my playlist had finished and so I was sat feverishly typing the last paragraph out in silence and then when I went round for the final spell check I was listening to Achilles Come Down by Gang of Youths and it finished as I finished and it was a moment.

So so so. in total we have

69069 words (nice) and 102 pages spread over 23 chapters and 5 parts. I can actually go into the plot and stuff now too because I know what that is from start to finish. I won’t go into that here I’ll just talk about the last chapters. Buckle up this ones gonna be long.

Whence last we left off there were 17 chapters and now there’s twenty-three. Chapter seventeen also has an actual name too so yay.

Chapter 17 – Pinches of Catgut

Chapter 18 – Yours Forever, Echo

Chapter 19 – Ink’s Tarnish

Chapter 20 – Red Room

Chapter 21 – Crosshatched Scars

Chapter 22 – Chasing Sundust

Chapter 23 – Amen

Chapter 17 originally is now what chapter 18 and chapter 23 isn’t really an epilogue but it also is y’know? Like the last two chapters are the endings in their own right (I say as if I didn’t stop reading The Darkest Minds seven pages from the end)

But c’est la vie!

Chapter 16 (I can finally explain this stuff woo) we had the fallout to the guy’s being told they have to pay the devil – who isn’t really the devil and is actually a god in his own right but that’s beside the point – back for everything he’s done for them. this one focuses on Valentine and Albert having a bit of a moment where I realised ‘oh gosh everyone is a foil to everyone oh gosh’

Chapter 17 is kinda the same but from William and Basil’s side where they have their own conversation about who Will killed Charlie by accident….yeah…William is still baby he just killed someone that’s fine. This is fine.

Chapter 18 is where shit hits the fan because oh my god James is back!!!!! Idk if I mentioned this but James is Enoch’s dead bf who wasn’t dead at all and I’ve been hinting at it the entre god damned book. I almost didn’t include it but after a talk with one of my friends I realised that James’ being alive would bring in more tea than ever before and well,,,,,,why wouldn’t I?

Oh yeah James also tells Enoch that everyone is coming to find them.

The way I'm explaining this seems like stuff just happens, but I swear I do add threads throughout! I'm just disjointed in my thought process.

Chapter 19 is the beginning of the end. We have a rush to pack as they’re trying to get out and they would have more help from James but Basil doesn’t trust James, Enoch is drunk, William has lost a lot of blood and both Al and Valentine had been asleep so they’re slow and groggy and it’s raining because England and winter and the coast is just a great combination.

Enoch and James end up going ahead cus people are getting close and they need to get their stuff away from there. There were three cases left to tie but they didn’t have time so while James and Enoch go ahead the others are carrying the last three cases to the docks so they can tie and run.

Chapter 20 is where Enoch wraps his beef with Aristide up. kinda. He originally planned on just saying goodbye but then stuff happens and he feels bad for Aristide so he just gives him to the devil without the murder part of it.

Chapter 21 valentine kills his uncle and gets closure™

Chapter 22 this chapter is so good. I love it, I love it so much. I'm still kinda feeling funky about it because its got a flashback and the rest of the book hasn’t got anything exactly like this – unless you consider the small titbit in chapter 17 a flashback. But I really delve into Sebastian’s psyche and before then I kinda hated Sebastian but it feels like he's had a whole ass character arch and I love it. I really love this chapter so much.

And finally chapter 23 is them running and the last of the setup for the next book

I want to include memes but they’re all old stuff. If I have anything new, I’ll insert it if not I’ll keep 5 random facts about the boy’s as my transition.

Albert

When he was a bab he wanted to meet keats before he realised the mans is dead.

Can write in shorthand in both Russian and English just so long as he doesn’t focus too hard on it

Albert is his middle name, Lyonya is his first name

Is a cat person.

Orders the same meal at every restaurant even if they don’t serve it. if they don’t serve it he has a tiny crisis.

Also defo has one of the others order for him

Basil

Defo a gifted and talented student if he was alive today

He's technically an accountant and low key enjoys it

Can fight but is a pacifist by choice

Skipped class once and got bored and never did it again

When they were still at school he would look after the groups deeds to land and do all the legal stuff for them because they had no clue. He still has all of Valentine’s papers and so could technically steal valentines land and nobody would care.

Enoch

Isn’t gay is actually bisexual

Is really good at science but just doesn’t care about it

He ate leek and potato soup exclusively for three weeks on a dare

Once played Mercutio and tripped on stage. Managed to hide it pretty well but hasn’t lived it down.

Would live in an old theatre if he could just for the aesthetic and bragging rights

Valentine

His family is of German heritage

Bakes as a stress relief but gets hyper focused on one thing for ages (tarts is the big one of the year)

Is the mum of the group but wouldn’t ever admit it

Cannot do maths for shit. or much else. He can just speak a lot and paint.

It’s a continuous joke irl and in novel universe that he’s called Valentine, but his birthday is on February 15th because his parents thought it was still February 14th when he was born.

William

Allergic to honey but would eat it anyway

Joined classes three years after everyone else

Is the only one in the group that understands people

Has a really bad centre of gravity and falls over a lot

He's 6’7

Bonus – a wild Sebastian appeared.

Acts 50 is 20

Is just brine

In a constant state of identity crisis

Was he born or did he just appear fully formed? Nobody knows

Always stuck as Benvolio. No matter what. forever. He hates it.

Excerpts! –

“you are a walking disaster.” Basil sighed

“I'm your favourite disaster though.” He could hear the smile in Enoch’s voice.

I just like these lines. Nothing too deep just thought they were funny.

Basil placed a hand on his knee hoping the rain could drown out what the music that followed William could not.

My mans being a supportive friend

He finished pulling the manuscript together and reached for the box Albert kept all his current writings in. it was a small box with darker patches between the broken veins where ink had spit and flowed between the cracks.

i have nothing to say about this 

They only had real tenderness with some of the fragile things. A school given copy of A Midsummer Night's Dream, a book by a man called Sashenka Potemkin, teacups with still blooming meadows painted onto them, a book about a monastery, a violin case that had nail marks embedded into the leather, an easel.

Y’know keepsakes are Important but if you’re running shouldn’t you pack light? Probably but these guys are sentimental bastards

The shops were alive with people, the two pubs were open and selling even the tailoress was in business. He wasn’t entirely surprised; worms came out during a storm. They thrived when the squawking of the gulls had disappeared.

We live in a society – Enoch 2019

The gate yielded under his hand, the closest he got to acceptance in the high walls. It seemed colder once he’d walked into the threshold, urging him towards the sickening feeling of unbelonging that sat in his gut. It made him want to turn away and never come back some of the time. How much he didn’t belong there.

Sebastian is yearning™

Basil reached into Albert’s pocket and pulled the crocus out. Albert didn’t react as he did so. he stared at it twirling it between his fingers staring at the petals and their untarnished glory despite having been used to kill them all at least once.

And while that isn’t the last line that’s the end of this. I'm taking a break from beginning anything big and while I want to move onto writing Adalius, Ariane and Adionis’ story I’ll wait for a moment before I do. just because I cant bring myself to think about how I'm starting this yet.

Anyway. That means no updates for at least 3 weeks. I know you’re all distraught. But yeah.

I hope you have a good day.

Thanks for reading this!

BYEEE!

[phantom-muses]

major fucking trigger warning for:

rape, emotional abuse, pedophilia, general abusive relationships, suicidal thoughts/attempts and self harm

i gotta get these off my chest because i dont trust anyone who knows me irl to see me the same way as they did before after this post.

With valentines day coming up all i can do is relive all my trauma from my abusive exes and god fucking damn it its so hard im crying while im typing this.

i dont even lnow where to start rhis will be just a massive rambling mess because im a mess but i have to get this whole this off my chest or i swear im gonna end myself.

guess ill start in the beginning. when i was 11 i was getting groomed and manipulated by a 20 year old man. once i turned 12 he started asking me to send him pictures and you can imagine what kind. i of course being a naive little girl though he loved me and didn't know exactly why he wanted those images.

i started cutting myself around this time and attempted suicide for the first time

moving forward to 14, i had a crush on a kid from my class and he manipulated me into thinking he had feelings for me so he could use me for his own sexual gratification. he was the first guy i kissed and he would routinely sexually harass me in public to the point i broke down crying in the middle of class because i couldn't take him and his friends groping me.

again, more sh and attempts

15, first relationship with my first girlfriend, all was great in the beginning until we were alone in my house and i said i didn't wanna go further than kissing (due to trauma but i just said i wasn't ready) and she got kinda pissed off and our relationship went down hill from there and i was just left feeling like a burden every time i tried talking to her.

few months after that i started dating a drug dealer. he fingered me without my consent with his friend in the same room as us. he also took advantage of me one time when i was high off my mind and couldn't possibly consent haha....

16, started regularly doing drugs basically so i wouldn't feel as empty, i let one of my friends take my virginity on my 16th birthday party because i refuse to count the drug dealer as having taken my virginity, felt pretty fucking empty but at least i felt like i sort of had control over my body. until i started dating this foreign guy who also ended up toying with me without my consent but this time in public so i felt i couldn't really do anything.

after that whole catastrophe, i started sexting random guys i met online just because i felt wanted by them. one of them violated my trust and spread my nudes yeehaw aint that great. anyway hes not important, i started catching feelings for one of the guys i was just casually sexting, that was a bad idea, he and i sort of became a thing.

things were great for the first 1 and a half years, then he got hooked on heroin and started emotionally abusing me, made me feel as if i was nothing but a burden and hysterical whenever i expressed any dissatisfaction with how he treated me, he manipulated me into believing i was a bad girlfriend for feeling upset over how he acted. made it seem as if i was nothing but a nuisance. we became an on and off thing because he would randomly ditch me

i almost started cutting myself again after having been almost a year clean

im 18 by this point here.

i started seeing sorta this guy irl, by seeing i mean fucking. another mistake because he was horrible and he raped me and clearly had a thing for rape play because even before that he would like to pretend he was trying to keep me quiet which just brought back some memories yikes. he constantly would try to pressure me into doing things i didn't want to the point of yelling at me for not wanting to do them.

i started talking to another guy online who seened nice, gave me an excuse to break it off with my rapist.

the guy may have saved me from my rapist but he was even worse actually... he was only into how young looking i am, he liked 13 year old girls (as i found out a month ago) and the fact i look like im 14 when im 19 was just perfect for him.... he was extremely controlling, didn't want me talking to any guys that aren't gay and no women who arent straight. he said awful things to me... hes the reason i developed anorexia again after having been okay for 3 years.... he constantly talked about me losing weight and becoming skinny. he admitted to wanting to rape me... only reason i had stayed with him was because of how broken i was. he broke me even further, i had to get my medication trippled, i started cutting myself again and i attmpted suicide again, only reason im not dead right now is how high i was and i couldn't go through with it the way i wouldve been able to had i been sober.

i left him a month ago? i think? i have no idea. im just sitting in my bathtub right now high on xanax so i wont have a panic attack from these flashbacks im having.

i have decided im going go back on track in my ana journey. i havent gained weight but my progress has stagnated these past 2-3 months. ana is my only coping mechanism to not end everything.

[mtvswatches]

Wynonna Earp 1x11 Landslide

Spoilers disclaimer (please read before sending messages or writing comments.)

Click here for previous recaps!

Stray thoughts

1) So, they’ve done a DNA test and it is Willa. Dolls basically spelled out my train of thought at the end of the last episode. There are two heirs now. But Wynonna is more concerned about Willa as her sister, and the fact that they simply assumed she was dead and stopped looking for her. But how were they supposed to know? They were just little kids dealing with a lot of shit.

2) How old was Willa when she was taken, though? I thought she was eleven or thirteen. Can a girl that age really forget everything about her identity? I mean, if you’re traumatized enough I guess you could forget. But everything?

3) Who are these two idiots letting out?

I immediately got the feeling they were like mermaids, luring them in so that they could take advantage. But these two dudes deserved to die – they knew they shouldn’t make eye contact and yet…

4)

Seriously, though, how can she not see it?

5) What is a Poker Spectacular?

6) I don’t know what these are…

…but they look as if they were taken out of a video game.

7) I love that in her opinion this is a good enough reason to try to burn down her classroom…

She fucking handcrafted little papier-mâché demons…

8) Well…

…the judge did say the hotel was to die for.

9) Oh, wow, their parent doesn’t seem like the most stable influence in the girls’ lives…

He was training her but he was so aggressive about it, and he was drinking and shouting at her. Now it makes more sense that he would strike up a deal with Bobo, for some reason.

10) Of course, Doc’s car broke down. He wouldn’t know how to fix it…

And I think the dude who stopped to help him knows what’s what in Purgatory. He could totally tell why Doc was sending him to look for the keys over the mark – to check whether he was a revenant or not.

11) Oh, ouch. Waverly didn’t deserve that…

WILLA: You kept my death certificate.

WAVERLY: Yeah. To remind myself it was actually real. You know, that you were actually gone. I was 6, right? I saw the little white coffin, but I knew that you weren't actually in there. They'd filled it with sandbags.

WILLA: Was it a nice service?

WAVERLY: All I remember was a lot of crying. And the food. The grown-ups let me eat as many marshmallows as I wanted. I threw up all night long.

WILLA: Gee. That must have been so hard for you. I'm sorry. It's just it's really intense. You guys killed me.

I understand how Willa feels, but she’s making Waverly and Wynonna feel responsible for something they couldn’t have possibly been responsible for! Waverly just mentioned that she was fucking 6 years old! And Wynonna was how old? 10 or something? They were kids. None of the decisions that were made regarding Willa were their responsibility! They just had to deal with the consequences of the decisions made by the grownups. It’s a bit unfair because they were all victims.

12) Oh…

That doesn’t make things better…

13) Wynonna is feeling insecure about her being the heir. It kind of reminds of Buffy and Kendra, in a way. Wynonna saw the curse as a burden, but even if she didn’t allow herself to admit it, it makes her feel powerful and worthy, and it gives her a sense of purpose. Now that Willa is back, not only could she be replaced, but she may find that someone else is better at her job than she is. Willa also mentioned earlier how Wynonna seemed to hate having to do the heir’s work, and I know that on the surface, that’s what Wynonna claims. But we know that in many ways, becoming the heir saved her, and she actually enjoys kicking bad guys butt. I always find this type of journey absolutely fascinating – Wynonna did start as a reluctant hero, but I know she wouldn’t want to be anything but a hero now… Can’t wait to see where her journey leads her.

14) omg she sounds like me!

Also, was she able to shake the glamour off because of her heir status or was that just a Wynonna thing?

15) Are they going to bite Doll’s dick off? Weirdly, I think I’d like to see that.

16) Oh, Dolls, you dirty pig…

17) Me, talking to my students…

Has Doc found his soul mate? They are like two kindred spirits.

18) Juan Carlo? Really? That’s possibly the most ridiculous name they could’ve come up with. That being said, I really like his conversation with Doc and what it could mean for the story. It seems that J.C. – I’ll call him that – is part of some sort of PTB group and they’ve decided to interfere. He warned Doc about the fact that in four days the doors will open – I’m guessing some kind of Hellmouthy doors – and that if that happens, it will be the end of Wynonna. He urged Doc to face the darkness with Wynonna by his side. Tbh, I think he just ships them. But it all sounds super promising either way.

19) Well, she is an Earp after all…

20) Uh-oh…

WILLA: He told me I had nothing to worry about, to just stay calm. He knew the attack was coming, Wynonna.

21) She most definitely is an Earp…

22) Willa is not messing around, though…

WILLA: I'm sorry, maybe I'm unclear about this whole curse thing. There are revenants; there are Earps. The Earps - that's us by the way make sure all the revenants get a bullet to the brain from Peacemaker, or die trying. Am I missing something?

DOLLS: Yeah. Civilians. And as far as human witnesses are concerned, you just shot a random person in a bar.

WILLA: Ah! In Purgatory, that's old news.

DOLLS: Yeah? Well, that's the type of thing that can get Purgatory on the wrong side of the nuke.

WYNONNA: She didn't know. I made the same mistake.

WILLA: Wynonna, why are you listening to this buzzkill in army boots?

DOLLS: Buzzkill?

WILLA: Yeah.

DOLLS: Buzzkill? I'm a U.S. Marshall with Black Badge, you hear me?

DOLLS: He's been helping us.

WILLA: You mean, you're following his orders, and not  your own instincts.

DOLLS: Aw, come on.

WYNONNA: We're a team.

WILLA: I thought I was the brainwashed one.

23) Excuse you?

WILLA: We were two peas, you and I. It's always been you and I.

WYNONNA: Yeah, I remember.

WILLA: It can be like it always was. And different too in all the right ways. You're not alone anymore.

I really was expecting Wynonna to tell Willa she hadn’t been alone because she had Waverly. I feel personally offended by this.

And I don’t know how I feel about Willa. Something’s off about her – and it’s not the I-was-kidnapped-and-lived-my-whole-life-in-a-cult thing…

I’ll have to trust my girl Waverly on this one. There must be a reason why she was afraid of Willa touching her…

24) Yes, Bobo, three Earp girls…

25) Why are they being attacked by S.W.A.T. or something? I don’t understand!!!

26) Dolls is fucking badass, though, he just picked that grenade and threw it out the window!!

27) So much is going on and I don’t understand any of it!

28) Did that asshole just shoot Waverly???!!!

29) Now I can get behind this!

30) Ugh Waverly was shot and Willa couldn’t give two damns and now Wynonna is torn between her two sisters!!

31) WTF!!!!

Why did Bobo save Willa???

32) And Willa saved Bobo???!!! What the fuck is going on??? What does this mean? Does it mean that the attack was actually Bobo trying to protect the girls’ dad and Willa? Was that the reason they took her? Was it all a set up? I don’t understand!!

33) I remember this quote!!! Someone sent it to me when I play the “making fandoms collide” game…

Is Wynonna that thick, though? When will she figure it out? Does she need Waverly to spell it out for her?

34) And the SWAT dudes were after Dolls…

35) Will Willa fall in love with Bobo? I think I might want to see that…

36) So the judge sent those dudes… and now Bobo wants the judge to throw him a party?

37) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Do not fuck with Doc!!!!!!!!!!

38) This was definitely an interesting episode, shaking up the sisters' dynamics with the arrival of Willa and setting up a lot of stuff that I hope will come to a head during the finale, which is only two episodes away! I can’t believe I’m almost done with season 1, but I seriously can’t wait to see how they wrap up this season!

39) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!

[werevulvi]

Oh my god, what a day it's been! Detrans woman hanging around in the city core on a busy day. I've gotten more attention for looking like a gnc man during these 2-3 hours than I ever got for looking like a gnc woman during the total of my life up until today, and that's not an exaggeration. It was intense. Today's look was hyper feminine but with a beard stubble. To reiterate, I first went to the city during the afternoon and stopped by a hair salon to get my left ear pierced for drop-in. I went in there at the same time as two guys and the hair dresser greeted us while working on a third guy's hair. She exclaimed happily that she thought it was fun that 3 men where there at the same time, implying she usually only gets female customers. I just kept my mouth shut and nodded with a forced smile. I had to wait half an hour until it was my turn. One of the guys there gave me a lot of approving looks (kinda flirting? I dunno) and let me go before him. The hairdresser got very excited about that I picked the pink jewellery (was the only one that would match my ever so wine red and golden outfits) and then took me aside to a small room for piercing my ear. She was super sweet all along, but also noticably over-joyed by me. She gave me a bag of easter candy (which she didn't give any of the guys), gave me a hug and said congratulations. Thanks... for the candy I guess? Oh I dunno. I paid and went my merry way. Onwards to the lgbt cafe event which was my reason for going to the city. Thus far no one's ever really talked about anything actually lgbt related there, expect from some have talked about their same sex partners. But this time there was a new person there and she brought up my looks after she had talked about her trans son for a bit (who was also there, but clearly uninterested in participating in any discussion). And she asked me if I had changed to my current outfit upon arriving at the cafe or if went like that from my home. I told her went like that and she said that must require a lot of confidence. Oh yeah, it sure does. So we talked a bit about me but I didn't say I'm detrans or a lesbian and it became just about what I appear like on the surface without even mentioning genders. I didn't wanna make the conversation super personal and didn't know what to say either. Talking about detransing in Swedish without using a whole bunch of English terms that no one's heard of, bio sex and genitals, is a damn challenge! So mostly I just don't say anything about it. But I had a good time at the cafe. It was good conversation, and the pecan pie was good. When that was over I went back to the city core to spend an hour just waiting for the bus. Well that's just what it's like living on a small island. It could be worse, I guess. At least there is a bus. It was warm enough to sit on a bench outside, so I did that while chain-smoking cause I was bored. However, several strangers took turns in keeping me company. First there was two guys (around 20 years old) walking past me. One of them said "you're sexy" and I thought that was awkward so I just said "thanks." The other guy said to the first guy somewhere behind my back: "Don't you see she has a beard?" to which I had a hard time containing my laughter, so it became a half suffocated giggle. I mean, that's what I thought was awkward. Then that other guy kept circling me, asking random questions about my clothes, shoes, jewellery, nail polish, my phone, where I lived, as well as my name. I told him my name's Laura. He had a few other guys in his company that stared at me while also circling me but they didn't say anything. I think they went and came back 3 or 4 times, and each time that same guy kept bombarding me with questions that I barely even got the time to answer. I kept calm and not defensive. His tone was kind and non-threatening, and I was fine with it, but after a while I started getting a bad feeling about it. Like if they planned on doing something bad. But soon after I got that bad feeling they left and didn't come back. A short moment after that, a small group of young teens walked up to me, 3 boys and one girl. The boys started talking to me while the girl strayed off, saying the girl had said "fucking trans" to me, but that they were totally supportive of me. One of them said "Everyone can be however they want." They then left and came back again another moment later. One of them said to me, as I was smoking a cigarette: "It's bad to smoke" to which I said: "There's a lot that's bad here in life." "That's so fucking deep, in just three words" he replied back, then asked if he could borrow my lighter. "Sure" I said. Then they wanted me to help them light a cigarette, and I said okay. Then the girl said: "They're 12 years old!" to which I shrugged and said I've bad influence. Then helped the boy light his cigarette. The girl, who didn't look much older (maybe 14 or 15) asked if she could borrow my lighter too. Sure. I calmly asked her: "Did you say 'fucking trans' to me?" to which she responded: "No, I asked if you're trans." "Oh, okay" I said. After that I was mostly alone on that bench, just looking around at the neon signs on the buildings and the doves flying around, bored out of my skull. Was some 30 minutes left to wait. When I had gotten to the bus station, I ended up standing right next to a few elderly people who may have been drunk, or just strange. One of them, a man walked up to me and asked: "Are you a guy?" I hesitated for a moment, knowing what I looked like and how complicated it is to explain the truth... so I lied. "Yes" I said, as I felt a weight in my chest. The man then stretched out his hand to greet me and I again had to think, before I introduced myself as John, my old male name. The weight in my chest sank. He told me, hesitantly, that he thought I still looked nice while gazing my outfit. He was friendly and totally non-threatening, and seemed intrigued by me. An elder woman who obviously knew the guys talked to me a bit too. She looked rather peculiar too and kept shouting at the guy, with the hoarsest voice I've ever heard from an actual person, to shut the fuck up whenever he talked to his friend. It was vaguely amusing. I didn't like lying about my sex or using my old name like that, but I was just too tired to cause hassle, and knowing people don't ever believe I'm female, I figured that what he asked was not actually a question... but a statement. And my lie was just me merely playing along, cause it was the easiest option."Can't I just get back home already, I'm so fucking tired" I thought to myself while waiting for the bus for those last 5 minutes. Eventually I did, and now I'm definitely exhausted. I didn't know that just going in to the city for a piercing and a meeting at the lgbt cafe would turn into an adventure of probably 10 different strangers in total talking to me out of the blue. Like that's the kinda stuff I see in American Hollywood movies, it doesn't happen in real life, in little Sweden, right? Also, it's Maundy Thursday today, but I don't think I blended in much with the Easter witches... but I kept joking to myself that I did. At the end of this day, I have mixed feelings about all those encounters. The cafe, the hairdresser and the kids I feel mostly positive about, but the older guys... not so much. Moral of the story... it's a billion times harder and scarier to be perceived as a gnc man than as a gnc woman. I feel like this was an almost dangerous look to have in the city. And being aware of the risks is one thing, but actually taking them is another thing. Is it bravery... or stupidity? I've always balanced that thin line, between bravery and stupidity. Somehow I ended up in gnc men's fight for more tolerance. I may not be one of them, but I'm clearly being treated as if I am. And for not even being trans... I'm very visibly trans. And it's uncomfortable to me now that people are much more likely to believe in the outright lie that I'm a crossdressing male or trans woman... than they are to believe in my factual truth that I'm a born female. It's a new kind of sting, of having lost something that I used to take for granted. I didn't know how much comfort and security it used to give me, before I lost it. I clearly did not at all fully consider the consequences of my medical transition at the time I went through with it. Of course detransition was not what I intended on back then, but it was one possible outcome which I was surely aware of. But I refused to acknowledge that it could happen to me, and what I'd do if it would. So here I am, having to face and live with the consequences of my own willful ignorance. Detransitioning is surely one heck of a lesson in life, and it's teaching me really a lot.

[ghostmartyr]

Pokémon FireRed Nuzlocke [Part 6]

Last time, bad things happened.

This time, the goal is fewer bad things.

With great optimism, the no-grinding Nuzlocke heads to Cycling Road.

Great. Optimism.

The plan was for Po to handle all of these, but Allenby’s falling behind a little, and I would prefer a little buffer there... On the other hand, Po can’t be poisoned. I judge it as we go, with Po doing the majority of the heavy lifting.

According to the tough guys in this game, I’m a mouse.

Cue Ball Luke has a level 29 Mankey. Hey Allenby, look, it’s those things Po shouldn’t fight! Welcome back to getting some slivers of exp! Take the Machop too while you’re at it!

He called me a rat after I beat him. Heh.

Biker Lao has more what we were expecting, with a level 29 Grimer. And Koffing.

Cue Ball Koji demands my bike. Someone didn’t read the rules of Cycling Road. Or have the gatekeeper loudly object to them trying to walk on this here road. He’s got a level 28 Machop. Go, Allenby. Feed on it and the following Mankey. And then the next Machop.

You only have one pokemon. Are you going to be a problem?

One level 33 Weezing.

Gone now.

Wait, what?

Biker Ruben, find yourself some kinder friends. You deserve them. Even with your level 28 Weezing. Koffing next. Then another Weezing, because Ruben is a chill dude who trains his pokemon.

You can tell if someone in these rows is a Biker or Cue Ball based on how mean they are in their lines. ...Cue Ball Camron wants to battle. Level 29 Mankey for Allenby. + Machop.

And that’s us beating up a biker gang. At the tender age of ten. The only age anyone in a Pokemon game does anything.

Unless you’re Alolan and you want to be eleven for some strange reason I don’t understand.

Made it to the Route 17 part of Cycling Road. Where there is grass. Let us approach.

Many spawns that were things I couldn’t catch later!

Yay, caught it. Uhhh. Lu.

Back to fighting. Cue Ball Raul. One Mankey for Allenby. Then a Primeape for a mirror match.

Cue Ball Isaiah next. To spare Allenby some pain, Po takes the level 29 Machop. Allenby gets the Machamp.

Or Allenby can use up all PP for Cross Chop and scare me into pushing Heero into the ring.

Biker Virgil. Presumably without the electric powers. But with a level 28 Weezing. Koffing. Weezing.

Good for you.

Biker Billy.

With your level 33 Muk.

The problem with Cycling Road is I’m never sure if I’ve actually hit all the trainers. And that’s normally, when it doesn’t really matter except for my happiness levels.

Biker Jaxon has a level 29 Weezing. And a level 29 Muk.

Rode all the way back to Fuchsia and have to go back up. I am a ripped ten-year-old.

Biker William has five pokemon. First up is a level 25 Koffing. Maybe I should share these with Allenby a little. You want to fight a Weezing, Allenby? Of course you do. Stay in for the Koffing, even. Let it destroy your accuracy. Let it force Po to take the Weezing alone.

Hi Corey.

I think I will let Heero fight your level 29 Primeape. Allenby can take the Machoke.

Cue Ball Zeek is up next. With a level 33 Machoke that Po should not fight, so hero time for Heero again.

Biker Nikolas uses a level 29 Voltorb. To remind us he matters I guess. Zaft can kill the next one.

Cue Ball Jamal has the staple Mankey at level 26. Allenby, go handle the next one. And try not to make me cry against the Machamp. Hey, you did a good job! Nice! Your prize is staying in for the Machop.

I think that might be everyone. Dang. That leaves me precious few options. Wait, no, there’s the Route 18 bird boys for Po to nom.

Bird Keeper Wilton with a level 29 Spearow. Followed by Fearow.

You’re only allowed to have that attitude if you have a bike. Jacob. With your level 26 Spearow. All two of them before a Fearow. Then a final Spearow.

Bird Keeper Ramiro has a single level 34 Dodrio. Like a boss.

Okay, now what.

I could beat up Rockets in Saffron. Or fight Koga. Or go to the Safari Zone. Or maybe take a small break.

Break having been taken, I have to ask, because I have no inclination to look it up: what the fuck even is the intended order for these things? I’m pretty sure Erika is the fourth Gym, and the Rocket plot in Saffron has to happen after the Rocket plot in Celadon, but past that, what is it that you are meant to do first?

I think it’s Koga and then the Saffron stuff, but it might not have to be.

Anyway, beating up Rockets.

Because Koga scares me.

And Safari Zone feels like work.

Dun dun dun.

We fine our first prey up on the second floor.

Grunt #1 has a level 25 Golbat. Zaft! Then a level 25 Zubat. Now Zaft wants to learn Rollout. Which I like except for the part where Zaft should not learn it. Anything that takes time is a no with Zaft.

Another Zubat. Followed by a Raticate. And finishing with another Zubat. All tributes to the mighty Zaft.

Po’s been in front for a while, so I think I’ll let Heero take the front for most of Silph Co.

Rude.

Second Grunt starts with a level 29 Cubone. Gee. I wonder what I miss most right now. Then Zaft can take the Zubat.

Scientist Jerry has a level 28 Magnemite. The Voltorb is Zaft’s for the taking. The Magneton... I think Heero can take it, though I have made things more difficult on her by deciding I want Zaft to have exp.

Thunder Wave. Yuck. But Heero gets the job done, and we’re already way used to walking back to the Pokemon Center at every opportunity.

So, stairs or teleport pads?

Teleport pads. Because I’m cool.

Scientist Parker says hello. Only with violence and a level 29 Grimer. Plus an Electrode for Zaft.

Aaaaaaand back to the Pokemon Center.

The bed does nothing. How dare you, bed. For all that I love the design of beds in this gen... why.

Grunt #3, aka one of the four Rocket Brothers. We don’t care. Level 28 Weezing up front, so Po is going to go ahead and come back out.

The Weezing uses Selfdestruct.

It takes out half of Po’s HP.

>:(

Koffing next. Then a Golbat for Zaft.

Rocket Bro One down.

Hi #4. He starts out with a level 26 Raticate. Arbok is next. Followed by Koffing. Lastly, we’ve got a Golbat for Zaft. The Grunts in this tower really care about Zaft’s development.

Apparently the teleporter pads aren’t going to take me anywhere with convenient speed the stairs can’t manage just as well. So I’m just gonna randomly wander the building up and down stairs until I beat everyone. Rendering the number system I sort of have completely useless.

Scientist Ed! Leading with a level 28 Voltorb! Then a Magneton. Then Koffing. Victory.

Coolio. Grunt #...5. With a level 28 Golbat up front. In the spirit of Zaft being three levels below Allenby, Zaft, you switch in and take this. Heero can go back in and handle the Drowzee. Po can have the Hypno. On we go.

To Scientist Travis! He’s got a level 29 Magnemite. Allenby, in the spirit of inclusion, you can fight his Koffing.

Grunt #6′s one and only is a level 33 Machoke. Heero saves the day.

Hey, finally reached the room with the Carbos.

And thanks to our valid behavior, it will have no effect if we give it to Zaft. Score. I guess.

Up at the top floor, we fight Grunt #7.

He has a level 25 Rattata.

Then another.

Zaaaaaaaaft.

Then a Zubat. Ekans can be Allenby’s. So can the Rattata. And adios.

They don’t even let you guys have your own lines.

Such a tragic life you lead, #8.

With a level 29 Cubone.

Ugh.

Allenby handles it and the next one.

Scientist Joshua up next. He’s got a level 29 Electrode. Muk comes out and Po responds in kind.

Why does everyone antagonistic in this game think I’m a mouse?

He opens with a level 26 Raticate. Then there’s a Zubat for Zaft. And a Golbat, how convenient. Last up is Rattata.

The last one, #10. Yay.

Level 29 Machop and Machoke.

Geez, where’s the bed that heals in this place? I need one.

Grunt #11 has a level 28 Zubat. Then another. Then a Golbat.

Why is this building so big.

Scientist Taylor has almost a full team. Starting with a level 25 Voltorb. Magneton next. Koffing. More Koffing.

I hate you I hate you I hate you

:-o

;-;

Heero, you... you take on the final Magnemite. Then we’re leaving.

What floor is this? Sixth. Okay. Great. Down to the bottom and the Pokemon Center, then I think I’ll just slowly go up the stairs until key items are earned and whatnot.

This place is too big.

Okay, all healed up and on the third floor, fighting back #12. Level 28 Raticate up first. Po in for the Hypno. Another Raticate for Allenby. Who’s earned some free exp.

Floor four! #13! Level 28 Ekans! Zubat! Cubone! Done!

#14 with a level 29 Machop. Po gets the Drowzee.

Floor five and #15. All he has is a level 33 Hypno.

#16 has a level 33 Arbok which will soon be Po food.

Scientist Beau. Level 26 Magneton. Magnemite. Koffing. Weezing.

Hey wait what’s your motive here? Juggler... Dalton?

I actually always really liked the Juggler class. They’re so cool. Oh, right. Kadabra and Mr. Mime. Now Dalton. Why did you attack your brave and valiant rescuer.

...Generic evil siding with Team Rocket. Fine.

Now I think I need to teleport around and look for the Card Key.

I know I shouldn’t complain about these things, given how valuable all the experience is, but I have never enjoyed Silph Co. Too many floors of the same design and same types of fights. I always got lost as a kid, and nowadays even though I’ve given up caring about where exactly I am, it’s still sort of a lot.

Back to the sixth floor, and I’ll just stomp on whatever pad looks good.

Teleport takes us to the second floor and an unfought Scientist. His name is Connor. He has a level 26 Grimer. Only past tense. Weezing up next. Koffing. When you side with Rockets your pokemon options deteriorate. Weezing.

And there’s nowhere else to go but back through the same teleport.

Have I mentioned that I hate this area.

Because let me tell you

the one redeeming factor it has is how many items are hidden in random trees.

Could you please just tell me who I have to mug for the damn Card Key.

Scientist Rodney. With the level 33 Electrode.

Good news, I found the Focus Punch TM.

Better news.

Time to open ALL the doors.

This part I can enjoy.

See how much better life is now.

Grunt #...17? Level 28 Drowzee. Grimer. Machop.

Okay, what floor is this? Ninth. Got it. Now to start from the bottom and just open every single door I find as I trot up the stairs. My happy place.

Oh, and beating up more people. Like Scientist Jose. With a level 29 Electrode. Weezing.

I hate this building.

Grunt #18! Has a level 29 Sandshrew! Then Sandslash!

What happens if you don’t unlock all the doors? Do the NPCs stay trapped in there even after the building’s freed? I doubt it, but for a few scant seconds the thought was funny.

I am back up to floor eight. Getting closer.

Oh heck.

He has his Pidgeot up front, right?

So Zaft should be first?

I don’t anticipate a fun time, here.

A sense of impending doom.

HA! His Pidgeot is first!

...Less ha. It’s level 37.

Zaft perseveres. But Allenby can have the Growlithe that’s out next. The level 38 Growlithe. I don’t think I like this. Allenby lives in the green, but with a bite out of it. Exeggcute is next, so comfort and Heero follow. It’s level 35. And given the state of my team, the Blastoise that’s coming up might be an issue. Do I trust Zaft and STAB enough to spend a turn or two healing?

...Yeah, let’s just be extra sure on that. And of course, now Heero is paralyzed. Sigh.

Blastoise coming out, and Zaft is going to try to at least help for a turn and not die.

Level 40 Blastoise vs level 37 Zaft.

Zaft wins!

...Bloodily!

Po, handle the Alakazam please. It’s level 35. I believe in you.

...

HOLD ON I THOUGHT I DIDN’T GET THIS IN THIS VERSION.

HOLY HECK DO I GET A LAPRAS.

DO I WANT A LAPRAS?

WHAT LEVEL IS IT?

But as for a name... Hm.

Sprinkle.

And now off to the Pokemon Center. Note to future self, to get back where I was you went through a teleport pad on the third floor.

Sprinkle is level 25. She will take Alton’s place in the party, but. Grrrr.

What do I think, is it worth splitting the exp between five to have a Water/Ice pokemon available, or do I want to try boosting the ever-loving heck out of only four? Does it really make a difference at this point? I think this Rival fight was premature, so the levels might be a bit skewed in his favor, and like, I think I can make it work to train a Lapras at minimum cost because I love Lapras...

I’ll finish off Silph Co. and think. Not having a Water option hasn’t been the greatest thing in the world. It would be especially nice against Giovanni and Blaine. But Sprinkle’s only level 25...

Actually, you know what? First I think I’m going to hang out in the Fighting Dojo and give Allenby something to do. She’s the only one I really want taking on that section, so it doesn’t affect any of my decisions. Plus, more exp before the end of Silph.

I’m rooting for this to go well.

Have it go well, Allenby.

Black Belt Hitoshi is first. He has a level 31 Machop. Maybe Po will be able to take a bite out of some stuff here after all. Then again, Po has Koga’s whole Gym. Mankey next. Primeape last for a mirror match.

Black Belt Hideki. Level 32 Machop. Machoke. Revenge packs a punch, but we’re good.

Black Belt Aaron. Mixing up the naming scheme. Has a level 36 Primeape. Er.

Heero’s coming in for this. Just in case. Primeape can do a helluva lot of damage, and Allenby has no resistance except for a few more levels on it.

Black Belt Mike. Okay, so the back two are the partnered odd ones out. Level 31 Mankey. Another Mankey. Primeape.

One fight left before I get to turn down a Hitmonchan and Hitmonlee because I have my option for this city.

Level 37 Hitmonlee first.

Yeah, hey, Heero...

Hitmonchan next, and here’s where the concerns come. Hitmonchan probably has Thunder Punch. I do not want that around Heero. I don’t want anything near Allenby, either, but I think Allenby at least doesn’t have the danger posed by super effective attacks, so Allenby...

Yeah, Thunderpunch. And it paralyzes. Of course. But Allenby gets through it, and then we’re done. Nice.

...Back to Silph.

Allenby, you can stay up front. ...Or can you.

The Sprinkle problem vexes me. I like how maximizing the level of these primary four has worked out, for the most part. I would like having more of a spread, Type wise, but. This really has worked, without any major problems. I think if I want to add something in, it has to be now. But Zaft is already underleveled. Sprinkle would be in the same boat, really only adding the extra benefit of Typing.

I can’t get the Exp. Share. Switch training is the only way.

..

I want a Lapras.

Fuck, this is why this run is just a first attempt.

Okay! Sprinkle going up in front for the remainder of Silph Co.

Grunt #19. Level 32 Cubone. This would be a good match if Sprinkle had Surf. But no one has Surf yet, so in Allenby goes. Drowzee in, and in goes Sprinkle temporarily. I already hate this. And doubt its effectiveness. Marowak.

Last Rocket down.

Sorta.

Level 37 Nidorino out first, and I think Po is the best suited for this.

Level 41 Nidoqueen. Lots of Double Kicks, lots of Snoring, lots of stress, but it works out.

Level 35 Kangaskhan. Allenby time.

Level 37 Rhyhorn. Still Allenby time.

Phew. And that’s that. Also, throughout all of that switch training, Sprinkle gained a grand total of.........

One level. She’s 26 now.

The only reason to do good deeds in this game.

Baaaack to Koga.

The pre-Kogas.

Juggler Kayden has a level 38 Hypno and I am uncomfortable. But Po paralyzes it and brings it to red with on Body Slam so we’re still in business. As well as very, very happy we did Silph Co. first. Seriously, what’s the intended order on these?

Juggler Kirk is next. Bringing us back to safety with a level 31 Drowzee. With great stubbornness, Sprinkle takes it out. Same with the next. The Kadabra can be shared with Zaft because EVs. Drowzee next, and we’re back to Sprinkle. Who made it to 27 all by herself.

Juggler Nate. His opening Drowzee is level 34. Not for Sprinkle. Kadabra. Gah. Heero, I think you’re probably the safest switch partner for this. As much as I love Zaft, Zaft is. Zaft.

Cool story, kid.

Oh, sorry, Tamer Edgar.

He has a level 33 Arbok. And Sandslash. And Arbok. Po and Sprinkle tag-team the lot.

Tamer Phil. You have a level 34 Sandslash. Only Po ate it after Sprinkle confused it. Dream team. Arbok next. Bye Arbok.

Geez, I should really consider putting more effort into jazzing up the battles. The problem is that normally I wouldn’t bother recording them, but with these being the only fights I get, and operating under the theory that I’m going to fail this round, having a thorough record is helpful. And it’ll only be typed out once.

But wow. It’s boring to type, so I can only imagine what it’s like to read.

Juggler Shawn! What have you got for me? A level 34 Drowzee. Then Hypno. That has the sheer gall to confuse Po. And makes her flinch twice in a row. But as all things end, so does this fight.

All that’s left is Koga.

And my prize for all that effort?

Sprinkle is level 29.

I hate switch training with every fiber of my being.

I also have six Rare Candy.

...

No, we’re not doing that. We will behave, and obey the spirit of the nonsense that is this entire run.

Okay.

Sprinkle’s out front at the moment, but I’m guessing sooner or later Po is just going to be the only thing fighting any of his pokemon. Poison is annoying, and Po’s Immunity is a precious gift I shouldn’t squander.

The level 37 Koffing he opens with is also encouraging me to keep putting Sprinkle in harm’s way, though. No. Po, get in here.

Wow. Koga wastes a Hyper Potion on the Koffing. Yay and all, but really?

The level 39 Muk is up next. This thing is not something I should be switching Sprinkle in on, honestly, because it has a host of delay moves that are no fun to deal with whatsoever. ...I sent Sprinkle in anyway. She’s still level 29. And has Perish Song.

lol at Sprinkle’s Confuse Ray missing every single time. Minimize. Minimize is such a horror to work around. Sadly (?), Koga removes Muk before Sprinkle’s song can kill it. Bringing in another level 37 Koffing just as I switched in Po. Since Sprinkles is guaranteed to get exp from Muk if all goes well, I’m not going to bother switching her in on the other stuff.

Another Hyper Potion gone. Yay. Po also hits level 44. Double yay.

The Muk is back and so is Sprinkle. Round two. The most drama in this is finding out how many times Sprinkle’s Confuse Ray misses this time. One. Then I forgot what Mist does so I used that, and now it’s time to bring Po back out.

Just in time for the level 43 Weezing. Yeah, not something I feel a need to switch around on.

...

Yeah, so it uses Smokescreen, but Po is protected by Sprinkle’s Mist. This battle is going so absurdly well through proper utilization of a moveset I would waste zero time on in a normal playthrough.

Huh, Koga uses a Full Heal when Po paralyzes Weezing. I didn’t know he had those. Anyway, bye Weezing.

Round three, Sgt. Sprinkle.

!!!!

Confuse Ray finally hit! It’s a miracle!

Po, switch in and watch Muk die, please.

You did good, Sprinkle. You did real good.

See? Even Koga thinks so.

And now I have the TM for Toxic. Bueno.

That’s badge five, and a good time for a break before we decide which mistake of a venture we try out next.

Until next time, please never underestimate how deeply I hate Koga’s Muk.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

#5yrsago RIP, Aaron Swartz

  To the extent possible under law,       Cory Doctorow   has waived all copyright and related or neighboring rights to   "RIP, Aaron Swartz."

Update: Go read Lessig: "He was brilliant, and funny. A kid genius. A soul, a conscience, the source of a question I have asked myself a million times: What would Aaron think? That person is gone today, driven to the edge by what a decent society would only call bullying. I get wrong. But I also get proportionality. And if you don’t get both, you don’t deserve to have the power of the United States government behind you."

My friend Aaron Swartz committed suicide yesterday, Jan 11. He was 26. I got woken up with the news about an hour ago. I'm still digesting it -- I suspect I'll be digesting it for a long time -- but I thought it was important to put something public up so that we could talk about it. Aaron was a public guy.

I met Aaron when he was 14 or 15. He was working on XML stuff (he co-wrote the RSS specification when he was 14) and came to San Francisco often, and would stay with Lisa Rein, a friend of mine who was also an XML person and who took care of him and assured his parents he had adult supervision. In so many ways, he was an adult, even then, with a kind of intense, fast intellect that really made me feel like he was part and parcel of the Internet society, like he belonged in the place where your thoughts are what matter, and not who you are or how old you are.  

But he was also unmistakably a kid then, too. He would only eat white food. We'd go to a Chinese restaurant and he'd order steamed rice. I suggested that he might be a supertaster and told him how to check it out, and he did, and decided that he was. We had a good talk about the stomach problems he faced and about how he would need to be careful because supertasters have a tendency to avoid "bitter" vegetables and end up deficient in fibre and vitamins. He immediately researched the hell out of the subject, figured out a strategy for eating better, and sorted it. The next time I saw him (in Chicago, where he lived -- he took the El a long way from the suburbs to sit down and chat with me about distributed hash caching), he had a whole program in place.

I introduced him to Larry Lessig, and he was active in the original Creative Commons technical team, and became very involved in technology-freedom issues. Aaron had powerful, deeply felt ideals, but he was also always an impressionable young man, someone who often found himself moved by new passions. He always seemed somehow in search of mentors, and none of those mentors ever seemed to match the impossible standards he held them (and himself) to.

This was cause for real pain and distress for Aaron, and it was the root of his really unfortunate pattern of making high-profile, public denunciations of his friends and mentors. And it's a testament to Aaron's intellect, heart, and friendship that he was always forgiven for this. Many of us "grown ups" in Aaron's life have, over the years, sat down to talk about this, and about our protective feelings for him, and to check in with one another and make sure that no one was too stung by Aaron's disappointment in us. I think we all knew that, whatever the disappointment that Aaron expressed about us, it also reflected a disappointment in himself and the world.  

Aaron accomplished some incredible things in his life. He was one of the early builders of Reddit (someone always turns up to point out that he was technically not a co-founder, but he was close enough as makes no damn), got bought by Wired/Conde Nast, engineered his own dismissal and got cashed out, and then became a full-time, uncompromising, reckless and delightful shit-disturber.

The post-Reddit era in Aaron's life was really his coming of age. His stunts were breathtaking. At one point, he singlehandedly liberated 20 percent of US law. PACER, the system that gives Americans access to their own (public domain) case-law, charged a fee for each such access. After activists built RECAP (which allowed its users to put any caselaw they paid for into a free/public repository), Aaron spent a small fortune fetching a titanic amount of data and putting it into the public domain. The feds hated this. They smeared him, the FBI investigated him, and for a while, it looked like he'd be on the pointy end of some bad legal stuff, but he escaped it all, and emerged triumphant.

He also founded a group called DemandProgress, which used his technological savvy, money and passion to leverage victories in huge public policy fights. DemandProgress's work was one of the decisive factors in last year's victory over SOPA/PIPA, and that was only the start of his ambition.  

I wrote to Aaron for help with Homeland, the sequel to Little Brother to get his ideas on a next-generation electioneering tool that could be used by committed, passionate candidates who didn't want to end up beholden to monied interests and power-brokers. Here's what he wrote back:  

  First he decides to take over the whole California Senate, so he can do things at scale. He finds a friend in each Senate district to run and plugs them into a web app he's made for managing their campaigns. It has a database of all the local reporters, so there's lots of local coverage for each of their campaign announcements.

Then it's just a vote-finding machine. First it goes through your contacts list (via Facebook, twitter, IM, email, etc.) and lets you go down the list and try to recruit everyone to be a supporter. Every supporter is then asked to do the same thing with their contacts list. Once it's done people you know, it has you go after local activists who are likely to be supportive. Once all those people are recruited, it does donors (grabbing the local campaign donor records). And then it moves on to voters and people you could register to vote. All the while, it's doing massive A/B testing to optimize talking points for all these things. So as more calls are made and more supporters are recruited, it just keeps getting better and better at figuring out what will persuade people to volunteer. Plus the whole thing is built into a larger game/karma/points thing that makes it utterly addictive, with you always trying to stay one step ahead of your friends.

Meanwhile GIS software that knows where every voter is is calculating the optimal places to hold events around the district. The press database is blasting them out -- and the press is coming, because they're actually fun. Instead of sober speeches about random words, they're much more like standup or the Daily Show -- full of great, witty soundbites that work perfectly in an evening newscast or a newspaper story. And because they're so entertaining and always a little different, they bring quite a following; they become events. And a big part of all of them getting the people there to pull out their smartphones and actually do some recruiting in the app, getting more people hooked on the game.

He doesn't talk like a politician -- he knows you're sick of politicians spouting lies and politicians complaining about politicians spouting lies and the whole damn thing. He admits up front you don't trust a word he says -- and you shouldn't! But here's the difference: he's not in the pocket of the big corporations. And you know how you can tell? Because each week he brings out a new whistleblower to tell a story about how a big corporation has mistreated its workers or the environment or its customers -- just the kind of thing the current corruption in Sacramento is trying to cover up and that only he is going to fix.

(Obviously shades of Sinclair here...)

also you have to read http://books.theinfo.org/go/B005HE8ED4

For his TV ads, his volunteer base all take a stab at making an ad for him and the program automatically A/B tests them by asking people in the district to review a new TV show. The ads are then inserted into the commercial breaks and at the end of the show, when you ask the user how they liked it, you also sneak in some political questions. Web ads are tested by getting people to click on ads for a free personality test and then giving them a personality test with your political ad along the side and asking them some political questions. (Ever see ads for a free personality test? That's what they really are. Everybody turns out to have the personality of a sparkle fish, which is nice and pleasant except when it meets someone it doesn't like, ...)  Since it's random, whichever group scores closest to you on the political questions must be most affected by the ad.  Then they're bought at what research shows to be the optimal time before the election, with careful selection of television show to maximize the appropriate voter demographics based on Nielsen data.

anyway, i could go on, but i should actually take a break and do some of this... hope you're well  

This was so perfect that I basically ran it verbatim in the book. Aaron had an unbeatable combination of political insight, technical skill, and intelligence about people and issues. I think he could have revolutionized American (and worldwide) politics. His legacy may still yet do so.

Somewhere in there, Aaron's recklessness put him right in harm's way. Aaron snuck into MIT and planted a laptop in a utility closet, used it to download a lot of journal articles (many in the public domain), and then snuck in and retrieved it. This sort of thing is pretty par for the course around MIT, and though Aaron wasn't an MIT student, he was a fixture in the Cambridge hacker scene, and associated with Harvard, and generally part of that gang, and Aaron hadn't done anything with the articles (yet), so it seemed likely that it would just fizzle out.

Instead, they threw the book at him. Even though MIT and JSTOR (the journal publisher) backed down, the prosecution kept on. I heard lots of theories: the feds who'd tried unsuccessfully to nail him for the PACER/RECAP stunt had a serious hate-on for him; the feds were chasing down all the Cambridge hackers who had any connection to Bradley Manning in the hopes of turning one of them, and other, less credible theories. A couple of lawyers close to the case told me that they thought Aaron would go to jail.

This morning, a lot of people are speculating that Aaron killed himself because he was worried about doing time. That might be so. Imprisonment is one of my most visceral terrors, and it's at least credible that fear of losing his liberty, of being subjected to violence (and perhaps sexual violence) in prison, was what drove Aaron to take this step.

But Aaron was also a person who'd had problems with depression for many years. He'd written about the subject publicly, and talked about it with his friends.  

I don't know if it's productive to speculate about that, but here's a thing that I do wonder about this morning, and that I hope you'll think about, too. I don't know for sure whether Aaron understood that any of us, any of his friends, would have taken a call from him at any hour of the day or night. I don't know if he understood that wherever he was, there were people who cared about him, who admired him, who would get on a plane or a bus or on a video-call and talk to him.  

Because whatever problems Aaron was facing, killing himself didn't solve them. Whatever problems Aaron was facing, they will go unsolved forever. If he was lonely, he will never again be embraced by his friends. If he was despairing of the fight, he will never again rally his comrades with brilliant strategies and leadership. If he was sorrowing, he will never again be lifted from it.

Depression strikes so many of us. I've struggled with it, been so low I couldn't see the sky, and found my way back again, though I never thought I would. Talking to people, doing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, seeking out a counsellor or a Samaritan -- all of these have a chance of bringing you back from those depths. Where there's life, there's hope. Living people can change things, dead people cannot.  

I'm so sorry for Aaron, and sorry about Aaron. My sincere condolences to his parents, whom I never met, but who loved their brilliant, magnificently weird son and made sure he always had chaperonage when he went abroad on his adventures. My condolences to his friends, especially Quinn and Lisa, and the ones I know and the ones I don't, and to his comrades at DemandProgress. To the world: we have all lost someone today who had more work to do, and who made the world a better place when he did it.

Goodbye, Aaron.

https://boingboing.net/2013/01/12/rip-aaron-swartz.html

[maydayswiftie13]

rules // answer these 83 questions and tag some people

Thank you @alitoowell for tagging me!! I’ll tag: @stumblehome-tomycats, @redlipclassicstyles, @swiftiesparkleshine , @whiskeyxonxice , @swiftiesand1989 , @talk-turned-2-screams and anyone else that would like to answer 💓

the last:

1) drink: pepsi 😋

2) phone call: My Mom 🤗

3) text message: the fam, @redlipclassicstyles @stumblehome-tomycats and @alitoowell 💓💓💓

4) song you listened to: Like Gold by Vance Joy featured on Nation Of Two (WHICH YOU SHOULD GO OUT AND BUY IF YOU HAVENT YET BECAUSE IT IS BEAUTIFUL)

5) time you cried: On monday when I found out that Ali cried because I met James in Australia and it made me all emotional 😭

6) dated someone twice: nope

7) kissed someone and regretted it: sort of lol

8) been cheated on: no

9) lost someone special: unfortunately, yes

10) been depressed: never medically diagnosed but I’m sure I’ve been depressed before.

11) gotten drunk and thrown up: nope 😎👌🏻

three favorite colors:

12) turquoise/teal/neon blue

13) Emerald Green

14) Black & White together

in the last year have you:

15) made new friends: I thunk I’ve made some of the most incredible and loving friends this year thanks to James and Taylor. I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭 (you know who you all are)

16) fallen out of love: no

17) laughed until you cried: I mean who hasn’t 🤣

18) found out someone was talking about you: yeah, but I choice to just distance myself from them so 💁🏻‍♀️

19) found out who your friends are: all my friends are awesome

20) kissed someone on your facebook list: nope (well like besides the kiss on the cheek from relatives, but I’m sure that doesn’t count lol)

general:

22) how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: The majority, I don’t like to add random people to my Facebook.

23) do you have any pets: I have 4 doggos. A 17 year old chihuahua mix (Juliet), 10 year old Australian Shepherd mix(Basil), and two 5 year old chihuahua/terrier mixes that are brother and sister (Pedie & Prada) and then two kitties who hate but love me lol (Maddie aka madam fuzzal socks and Luna)

24) do you want to change your name: I did when I was younger but I’ve grown to like it.

25) what did you do for your last birthday: I spent the day with my mom in San Francisco shopping then eating the best ice cream then went with my roomie and friend jasmine to go get the best ice cream 😋 BUT THIS YEAR IM SPENDING IT WITH MIKAELA (and maybe Ali who knows) AND WE ARE SEEING VANCE JOY ON MY BIRTHDAY AHHHHHHH!!!!

26) what time did you wake up: about 11AM

27) what were you doing at midnight last night: trying to stay awake lol

28) something you can’t wait for: Ed Sheeran this month with Mikaela!!! VANCE ON MY BIRTHDAY!!! (Also with Mikaela (2nd row for one of the dates 😱) and maybe Ali 😉) TAYLOR FREAKING SWIFT IN NOVMEBER IN THE SECOND ROW and HARRY POTTER NEXT YEAR WITH ALI, also finally graduating school will be cool lol

29) when was the last time you saw your mom: Feburary 8th 2018

30) what are you listening to right now: A movie for my class lol

31) have you ever talked to a person named tom: I’m sure I Have at one point in time.

32) something that is getting on your nerves: my hair and the humidity

33) most visited website: twitter

34) hair color: medium/dark brown

35) long or short hair: Long

36) do you have a crush on someone: not at the moment

37) what do you like about yourself: that I’m approachable

38) piercings: ears (only one in each ear)

39) blood type: O+

40) nickname: my mom calls me bumblebee but that’s about it lol (my grandfather used to call me Maruchas before he passed)

41) relationship: just a single Pringle

42) zodiac sign: Virgo

43) pronouns: she/her

44) favorite tv show: A really liked teen wolf but it’s no longer airing sigh 😔 but Big Bang theory is always gaurenterd to make me laugh and as 8 year old me once said “friends is my favorite show”

45) tattoos: don’t you come after me with a needle if you want to live lol (I have none)

46) right or left handed: right

47) surgery: never had surgery

48) sport: I started swimming at the age of 3 all by myself 😋 and I used to swim competitively but I stopped swimming because of body image issues. I also used to play soccer until an injury caused me to stop.

49) vacation: I mean I’m in Australia for an entire year soooo 😉

more general:

51) eating: I’m picky sooo lol, I mean I like sugar AHAHAHA but who doesn’t. I’m just really picky if it has animal products in it.

52) drinking: water, carrot juice, Pepsi

53) i’m about to: go to sleep soon lol got class tomorrow

54) waiting for: My mother once told me not to wish my life away so I’m just going to live my life in each moment 😊

55) want: to make more friends from all across the world

56) get married: eventually but I’m not at that point in my life yet

57) career: something that involves traveling

58) hugs or kisses: hugs

59) lips or eyes: eyes

60) taller or shorter: taller

61) older or younger: older

62) nice arms or nice stomach: arms

63) hookup or relationship: relationship

64) troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

have you ever:

65) kissed a stranger: no

66) drank hard liquor: yes and I hate it

67) lost glasses/contacts: I lose my glasses all the damn time but I always find them

68) turned someone down: yeah

69) sex on the first date: big no lol

70) had your heart broken: not that I can recall

71) been arrested: nope

72) cried when someone died: yes

73) fallen for a friend: no

do you believe in:

74) yourself: if I don’t, no one else will

75) miracles: considering James was standing behind me randomly yes... yes I do

76) love at first sight: I mean it’s possible

77) santa: in my household, you don’t get presents if you don’t believe ive in him 🤣

78) kiss on the first date: yeah

79) angels: I’d like to believe they are there

other:

80) best friend’s name: Ashely, and of course Ali, Jade, and Mikaela have sunk their way in

81) eye color: Brown 👁

82) fave movie: LOTR and Harry Potter series

83) fave actor/actress: After LOTR, Orlando Bloom will always have my heart but I also really like Eddie Redmayne. As for actress I like Cara Delevingne and Emma Watson 😊

The end!!

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #192 - Robin Hood: Men in Tights

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Oh yes

Did I like it then: It’s grown on me.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: No.

Format: DVD (although we watched my brother’s blu-ray copy)

1) Watching this film is a tradition to do on my brother’s birthday (which was in August but I’m behind on my rewatch posts). We’ve been doing it for 9 years (give or take a year) and it kinda grows on you.

2) I’m a sucker for 4th wall breaks in movies, so the numerous ones in this film are appreciated.

3) Honestly, the rapping which bookends the film feels like a misguided attempt by Mel Brooks to make the film “hip”. It just doesn’t really work and doesn’t feel like it belongs in a Mel Brooks bit.

4) There are actually quite a few clever gags in this film. A lot of them come from the very first scene in Jerusalem’s prison with Robin and Falafel.

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

5) Cary Elwes as Robin Hood.

Elwes was cast in The Princess Bride back in 1987 because of his “Errol Flynn” like quality. Now he plays a role which is one of Flynn’s most iconic. He commits to the part in the grandest of Mel Brooks’ tradition, as set before by Gene Wilder in Young Frankenstein and Bill Pullman in Spaceballs. Elwes’ Robin is wonderfully buffoonish and ridiculous, with most of the humor coming from his lack of self awareness. It would be easy for an insecure actor to give a wink to the audience that lets them know he’s aware they’re stupid, but Elwes isn’t afraid of appearing idiotic. He embraces it. Robin should come across as an idiot. That’s the gag!

6) I relate to Achoo so much.

Robin [while going into a fight]: “Watch my back!”

[Robin gets hit in the back twice.]

Achoo: “You’re back just got hit twice.”

Robin: “Thank you.”

7) Dave Chapelle as Achoo.

Chapelle’s ability to play the straight man in this film is absolutely amazing. A legendary comic, Chapelle basically represents the audience. I mentioned that Robin is blissfully unaware of the foolishness in his life, but Achoo is hysterically aware of it. He’s observations are comedically wonderful and just all around inspired. Chapelle is a wonderful addition to the cast.

8) Blinkin, the blind butler.

The film is able to take an absurd concept that was taken so seriously in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and take it to its naturally funny punchline. While many of Blinkin’s jokes may fall flat, his overall presence is appreciated and does lend to some nice comedy all around.

9) Robin losing everything he loved shouldn’t this funny.

(Screenshot taken of a GIF set originally made by @thorinss)

10) I despise the Home Alone “joke” this film makes. It is the first in a long line which shows that just because you make a pop culture reference doesn’t mean you’re being funny.

11) Roger Rees as the Sheriff of Rottingham

Roger Rees is the definite scene stealer of the show, outshining even Dave Chapelle’s Achoo. He is able to take ownership of every moment he’s in by playing the Sheriff as a bigger idiot than even Robin to a wonderfully hysterical degree. I got a chance to see Rees on stage before his passing (when he played Gomez Addams in The Addams Family) and I could see from that his comedic talent was not only limited to his work with Mel Brooks. All in all, for me, Roger Rees will always be my favorite performance in the film.

12) Amy Yasbeck as Marion.

Yasbeck - like Elwes - commits to the silliness of Marion. Although more of a spoof than a character at times, it’s a damn good spoof. By taking aim at old school “fair maiden” tropes and sort of the humorous daintiness of that, Yasbeck is able to hold her own against Elwes and the insanity of a Brooks’ movie.

13) Richard Lewis as Prince John.

If the Sheriff of Rottingham is the evil version of Elwes’ Robin (in his embracing of the character’s foolishness) then Roger Lewis is the evil version of Achoo. He plays it modern, very aware of kind of the idiocy around him, and casual to the point of funny. He has the ridiculously strong chemistry with Roger Rees which makes all their scenes a treat and all in all totally fun.

14) Tracy Ullman as the witch/cook Prince John goes to in times of need and she’s fine enough in the part. It’s not exactly a fountain of character writing but she’s funny enough and works with the part well.

Prince John [after Latrine says her family changed the name when they came to England]: “You changed it TO Latrine?”

Latrine: “Yeah. Used to be shit house!”

Prince John [after nodding]: “Good change!”

14.1) Also, Latrine promises to make a magic potion that’ll make Robin worthless if Prince John puts in a good word for her with Rottingham. He agrees and then…it never comes up again. At all. It’s like the scene never happened. And I’m just like…

15) Hey, that’s Erik Allan Kramer!

16) The bow staff fight between Robin and Little John is actually pretty clever, primarily because of just how funnily it deteriorates into a slapping game.

17) Remember what I mentioned in note #10? Well, we get these two “jokes” back to back.

Will Scarlett: “My full name is Will Scarlett O’Hara. We’re from Georgia.”

Achoo [after Robin fails to jump on his horse]: “Man, white men can’t jump.”

Repeat after me: making a pop culture reference is not the same as making a joke.

18) However, this is pretty funny.

According to IMDb:

The gag about Robin being able to speak with an English accent is a reference to Kevin Costner's performance in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991). Unfortunately viewers who saw both movies in a dubbed version couldn't get this gag. For the German dubbed version the gag was changed to: "because I - unlike some other Robin Hood - do not cost the producers 5 million". The German word "kosten" (cost) was also pronounced to sound a little bit like Costner. In the French (France) and Italian (Italy) dubbed versions, it is translated as, "Because unlike other Robin Hoods, I do not dance with the wolves", referring to another Kevin Costner movie Dances with Wolves (1990). In Quebec, the translation becomes "Because unlike other Robin Hoods, I accept to wear tights," which refers to the fact that Costner didn't wear tights in the 1991 movie. In the Hungarian version, he says "Because unlike Kevin Costner, I have a shapely bottom," a reference to the infamous fact that Costner used a body double in the nude scene.

19) The castle fight has a number of clever bits but some could’ve been cut in support of pacing. The scene as a whole drags at times and can come across as dull instead of fun like it should be. Tightening it up may have helped.

20) If only for Dave Chapelle’s Malcolm X impression, this is my favorite scene in the entire film.

I also love the juxtaposition between Robin’s Churchill and (again) Chapelle’s X. It just really works for me.

21) Hey…isn’t that David DeLuise? The dad from “Wizards of Waverly Place?”

22) Ah, the obligatory Mel Brooks cameo.

23) Dom DeLuise as Don Giovani.

Robin Hood: Men in Tights - Don Giovanni - watch more funny videos

Okay, I lied. THIS is my favorite scene in the entire film. DeLuise is absolutely hysterical and why the scene may be a bit too long, I just don’t care. He’s so fucking funny! His Brando impression is a gift from above and I’ve got a feeling most of his shit was improvised. It’s just…it speaks largely to the talent of Dom DeLuise. I love it.

24) This is probably the best Blinkin gag in the film.

[Blinkin falls from a tree, dusts himself off, then starts to look around.]

Blinkin: “I can see!”

[Blinkin walks right into a tree then takes a step back.]

Blinkin: “Nope. I was wrong.”

25) The “Men in Tights” song is a much better fit for this film than the rap. It feels organic to the kind of comedy the film embraces and is just pretty fun.

26) “The Night is Young” is similarly organic and a better fit than the wrap, but it probably shouldn’t have been put back-to-back with the previous song. We need a little variety.

27) I love this.

(GIFs originally posted by @summercountess)

I love that the filmmakers aren’t even trying to explain why he gets another shot. It’s just, “It’s in the script.” I mentioned I’m a sucker for fourth wall breaks and this one takes the cake for me!

28) There are a lot of gags in this movie which were funnier in other Mel Brooks films.

Prince John’s, “I have a mole?” vs Igor’s, “What hump?” from Young Frankenstein.

“Walk this way!” in this film vs Young Frankenstein.

The hangman in this film vs Blazing Saddles.

etc.

29) The fight scene is actually what the castle fight should’ve been more like. The swashbuckling action is fun and mixed well with gags and slapstick humor.

Rottingham: “En guard!”

Robin: “Thanks for the warning!”

Also they run into a crew member on his break, which continues my love for 4th wall breaks.

30) And a wild Patrick Stewart appears!

He has a Scottish accent because Sean Connery made a similarly random cameo at the end of Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves with his natural accent. It’s kinda weird and doesn’t add much but who cares, it’s Patrick Stewart!

While there are other funnier Mel Brooks movies out there and better Robin Hood films out there, Robin Hood: Men in Tights does exactly what it is supposed to do: it gives you a 100 minute distraction with silly comedy and fun performances that can act as a break from your day. Cary Elwes is a delight as Robin, with Roger Rees, Richard Lewis, Dave Chapelle, and Amy Yasbeck all showing off their comedic chops. It’s just fun. Occasionally stupid, yes. Some of the jokes do fall painfully flat (like that Home Alone gag), but by the end of the film you’ll probably have gotten in a few chuckles and feel like it’s time well spent. It’s just silly Mel Brooks fun.