#music is nice
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I'm starting my new job for real tomorrow and i'm so anxious.
So after months of unemployment i finally got a job. Well its technically not a job it more like paid community service. Its called Mandy's Farm and its part of the Americorps program, I am serving as a part of the Vamos program. We provide employment services and adult skills training to developmentally disabled people between 14-25 years old. Plenty of other things but I suggest a google to get the full picture.
For context I am 19 years old and have a background in daycare and special needs students, more importantly I am AuDHD and disabled as well. I've come into this field because of a deep desire to help my people and other community members. I crave advocacy, I've always wanted to feel like i'm actually helping people, I want to be in the trenches. So far everyone is super accommodating and nice so i really don't have anything to worry about. I'm just meeting a lot of people in person who have heard a lot about me presumably and that is really anxiety provoking. What about the students? They seem super nice but im still really worried about people not liking me. Plus there are likely disabilities that I have yet to encounter that I will have to adjust to and learn about which isn't a bad thing at all that's fine. But what if I mess up?? What if I get overstimulated and shy?
This is definitely a step up the professional ladder for me which is unnatural. I was prepared to go back to Joann's or worse. I'm still super broke but I can already tell that i'm going to be so much happier. I hope I can get along with everyone, people think i'm knowledgeable which in my opinion is quite a high compliment. Weirdly enough my daycare experience already appears to be more relevant than I thought same thing with my performing arts school background. I hope there are people that I can relate to and that relate to me. Currently i'm just listening to Death cab for Cutie and a Cewpins Vod (highly recommend if you smoke at all!!) because after training I was just totally wiped and got home and did my routine.
We had to go to home depot to get a replacement toilet handle because you gotta love cheap apartments. :)
Get home (BF does the toilet because im wiped out).
Immediately do a hugeeeee afterwork dab.
Chill high as fuck for a bit.
Order food reluctantly.
Wait for than eat the food.
Try to stay up.
Fail.
Pass out in an unnatural position with lights on and everything.
Have random sex because fuck it lol.
Sleep part 2.
Wake up.
Computer at like 1:15 am
Get your stimulation of choice.
Dab again.
Get anxious then hop on tumblr to vent.
So that's pretty much it. Jacob is still asleep. He's still frustrated and depressed understandably so but the difference is that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and he cant seem to yet, I guess it feels a little closer for me... Things have been really hard lately,,, our guinea pig Boston died a few days ago.. We haven't been able to bury him yet so he's just in our freezer... Which sucks because I don't cook really so I cant use my freezer so like pretty much all my food. I would like to get some closure. He's definitely still haunting me.
My only IRL friend I live near has Covid and her whole family including her 1 year old daughter is sick.. I just got over Covid and it sucks ass. She said she got it from work but its fucking everywhere again where i'm at so who even knows.
I also cant find my goddamn wallet!! I have google pay and everything but i still need my damn wallet!! Im frustrated because this is the seccound important wallet I have not been able to to find and i cant get fucked over again. If any witches have some lost object spells or tips id genuinely appreciate it i'm pretty desperate.
I have a feeling this new job is definitely going to keep me busy, Another huge advantage is when I finish my service I get an education award that can go to past of future collage payments. I could attempt to start collage... god who knows I still cant drive I still can only manage 6th grade math. I wish that I was competent at math i never have been.
I say 6th grade roughly it could be better but it is likely even worse than i think it is. I have serve trauma relating to a math teacher I had in middle school and then highschool. It goes back even farther because you know how undiagnosed learning disabilities are. The school had to intervene because he was my only option for a math class. Long story short I ended up getting a free math credit in 8th grade where during the period id just sit in the deans office and use it as a "study hall". Listened to some great music in that "class" i was often productive but not in the ways that people wanted me to lol.
I'm debating hoping on some Khan academy or something just because i resent math so hard I need to conquer it. Plus if I'm planning on college (which I am) I want to be ready for gen eds. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH my brain is scrambled i just want my ebt card bro. Im outta fooddddd. I miss money, Is it time to talk to rich art school friend?? Is that unethical?? Alan if youre reading this id appreciate whatever is possible <3 ( kidding not kiddingggg)
#audhd#autism post#community service#disability#developmental disabilities#money help#im so broke#music is nice#weed#dabs#anxiety#death cab for cutie#animal death
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You want me to introduce myself? The thing that almost killed Odysseus?
#has this been done before#the odyssey#odysseus#epic the musical#epic: the musical#epic#jorge rivera herrans#polyphemus#and this is why sometimes it's nice to be nobody#edit: HOLY GUACAMOLE-#this post got 2k notes overnight. what the frick#1k#2k#3k#4k#5k#6k#7k#8k#9k#10k#20k
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Somwhere before God Games
#I love these two so much#Telemachus deserves nice things and nice things only#epic the musical#epic the musical fanart#odyssey#jorge rivera herrans#epic musical#epic the wisdom saga#athena#telemachus#god games#art#wisdom saga
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End-of-Splatoon thoughts.
Thinking about how since the very start, Splatoon has had a feature where players can draw and post artwork and spot them as graffiti on walls or billboards. Or how the weapons have always been paint brushes and rollers and ballpoint pens. Since its inception, Splatoon has been dedicated to engaging its players with the act of creation and creative expression, showing them how their art can build communities and (literally) change the world.
Thinking about finding golden human-made music discs buried underground for thousands of years, and a grand finale music festival. About the Voyager Golden Records. About those human handprints etched into concrete in Alterna. Did those human artists know it would end like this? First a fiery death and then, eventually, a worldwide celebration of music to represent our shared past, present, and future. Did they know that their songs, insignificant in the face of extinction, would one day become the solution that will save the next dominant life-form from the same fate?
Thinking about how eerily similar the Octarian domes are to Alterna. About how close Inklings and Octolings were to repeating the same mistakes as humans. But their doomed fates were undone not by some miracle technology or military power or a rocket, but by music.
Thinking about how humans wiped themselves out with war, and our parting gifts were liquid crystals that somehow paired with the DNA of primeval inklings and somehow infused them with our memories and culture and a Song. And 12,000 years in the future, that same Song will end a war.
Thinking about how art and music and punk culture and rock & roll and friendly competition and petty arguments and water guns aren’t uniquely human concepts, but the fundamental qualities of intelligent life. An inheritable spirit that can cross evolutionary bounds.
Thinking about the theme of Splatoon, that art and music and fun will not die with the human race. That every piece of art we create is a seed we sow for future generations to reap. That our legacy is ingrained into the crust of the earth. That long after we’re gone, the oceans will remember, and they’ll pick up where we left off.
Thinking about how Splatoon says that the essence of humanity –– the thing that will outlive us –– isn't war or prejudice or destruction or greed, it's a song.
#personal#splatoon#“indomitable human spirit” but what if it wasn't just “human”#what if every creature had the capability to embody this spirit. they just need the chance#anyways splatoon's core theme is about how art and music is the most important thing on earth#wasn't expecting to get kinda emotional but in trying times it's nice that splatoon says that the art we make is a message to future#generations that we were once here and to *Do Better* than us. Be kind and keep making art#dead isn't gone.
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There’s something terribly poetic in the inevitability of events in EPIC. The choices Odysseus is given lead to no win situations. They aren’t really choices at all.
Kill a foe’s child or witness the death of your own. Sacrifice six men or sacrifice them all. Allow your crew to starve or watch as they slaughter sacred cattle.
Sacrifice your friends, your brothers, or give up your last chance at reaching home.
In the end, the result is always the same. He destroys himself
#something something ‘what’s a title that a goddess could give if I never sleep at night?’#this man is haunted#and ever choice he makes#every path he walks down is making it worse#he’s the nice guy and people die#he’s the monster and he loses everyone#trin rambles#epic the musical#epic the thunder saga#thunder saga spoilers#idk if this makes sense#I really need to go to bed#I keep saying that
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is it just you and me and the wreckage of the world?
#when the world is ending but sunsets are still kinda nice. and there’s music and dancing and care.#adventure time#simon petrikov#ice king#marceline abadeer#marceline the vampire queen#fionna and cake#fanart#jacketpart
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i love you WEIRD SCIENCE MIKU!!!!!
#FROM MY HEART AND FROM MY HAND WHY DONT PEOPLE UNDERSTAND MY INTENTIONS (jazzy music break)#shes my fav but i love ALL the mikus honestly im a huge fan#pokemon#hatsune miku#project voltage#princehoneytart#havent drawn something in a long time feels nice.
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i am determined to send you any song lyric i hear that i like. (i have super weird taste you might want to brace yourself)
Oh, well that's alright! I don't mind :)
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figure skating set right now please. thanks
#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#proseka#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#GUYS I AM PUTTING OFF WORKING ON MY COSPLAY SOMETHING STUPID. im tireddddd i like sleeepingggff i want to play and drawwwww#after work I literally ate a giant bowl of mac n cheese and climbed into bed. lifestyle choices of a 9 year old#anyways i want figure skaitng set. bad. PJSK HAS A WEIRDLY LOW NUMBER OF ACTUALLY WINTERY SETS... like 3. kind of.#i have some thumbnail sketches but im kind of stumped on composition for them. my idea was a nene focus set#(IF HER NEXT FOCUS ISNT PHANTOM OF THE OPERA THEMED INWILL DIE. BADLY. THEYRE GOING TO AN OPER AHOUSE. PLEADBR)#originally my idea was for nene to be biting a medal i was very sold on it bc i love nenes competitive side#however her outfit is so nice i want it to also be part of the art .. its heavily inspired by that one iconic eunsoo lim dress#from her somewhere in time program iirc. im really undatisfied with emus dress tbh my origimal idea was to give it a phoenix look#but a lot of the firebird/phoenix skating programs have very sleek dresses and i want emus to be fluffy. the balance is hard ..#and since i want her program song to be once upon a dream from sleeping beauty i swerved to make it look a bit like auroras ? but again#it definitely feels like the weakest of everybodys ... maybe i just love her too much and want her to look the best. sorry wxs.#tsukasas outfit is supposed to look like a shooting star. easy. program music moonlight sonata 3rd movement like from dazzling light. easy.#actually i like takahashi daisukes moonlight sonata program its a medley of the 1st and 3rd movement.. i think the calm at the beginning#is best. maybe smth like that.. for his card inhad him doing a haircutter spin but again. the outfits good i want the outfit visible. damn.#ruis the one im very set on even now. girl why are you so phantom of the opera.#it has a lot of beautiful programs to reference but the outfit i didnt really have any solid reference i kind of just balled#my main idea was to make it look a bit like both christine and the phantom.... gender Fluid.#my yapfest... i should be SEWING!!!!!!!!#despite my yapping im not that well versed in figure skating i cant really distinguish jumps i just like it . and medalist#i only do normal skating. bc i played hockey for like 7 years LOLLLL inlove skating though Heart.
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I found a really good refrence... So Kayne.
Oh also the og refrence under the cut cause i did use it for the background:
#malevolent#malevolent podcast#kayne#kayne malevolent#arthur lester#my art#i really like the effect of drawing charakters on photograph backrounds i should do that more aften#arkayne#i honestly like arkayne mostly as a one sided ship of kayne being like bbgirl! and Arthur being like ewww ya know its nice#kayne doesn't have blood this time of well he does have his many many teeth#also he is always rocki g an anachronistic suit and i hope you guys notice cause i always try to show that#like its much tighter and it has a diffrent shape#his inspo is also beetlejuice (the musical version) the devil and kinda will wood#also his hair is suppose to have like an angler fish bit but its kinda lost in my new design for him (also i draw that with every#male charakter i draw so oh well)
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sans looking at ice or something
#sans#undertale#finished this…… :] for my design class. a little rough around the edges. but i think it’s pretty nice#i’m friends with everyone at my table in that class & they all wanted to see how it turned out. one of the#m literally had their jaw drop#i wanted to don a giant pink tutu and twirl around in circles so fast it’d create a tornado that could shred the entire building#wowie…. cool people think my art is cool… feels pretty nice!!!#i want to make cool music soon too. i’m having so much fun. but a big hurdle is figuring out how to get a good drumbeat#if anyone reading this is familiar with music… can you dm me with some tips... and like dumb them down for me please. i was born yesterday!#beepbox’s drums are so hard to decode
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2am charpim doodles … i don’t colour my doodles enough, it adds sm to them
#doodles#smiling friends#pim pimling#pim smiling friends#charlie dompler#charlie smiling friends#charpim#uouvhhh i’ve been kinda art blocked recently so i#actually was happy to draw these out and make them look nice#anyway im So fucking tired goodnight#shoutout to mine and @bunnidot0rg ‘s charpim playlist#that was the background music of these doodles
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But Alastor, you would be so pretty in white. T^T
#hazbin hotel#RadioApple#alastor the radio demon#hazbin hotel lucifer#Nice try Lulu#But if you enter a church with the radio demon it will take fire instantly#Don't worry you can kiss and cuddle and other things anyway#I'm having way too much fun with Marilyn Alastor#Look at those legs#Sexy music was playing in my head while I was drawing them
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this scene is so good !!! how can a 7 seconds clip have so many things
niko being the only one noticing edwin changed his style and complimenting him
edwin looking behind him assuming she wasnt talking about him then realizing she was and smiling
charles just taking the opportunity to check him out
10/10
#dead boy detectives#dbd#niko sasaki#charles rowland#edwin payne#paynland#crystal palace#and shes right !! he looks really nice !#i love them so much#this show is just too good#edwin and niko besties gave me strength to keep living for the next 10 years#the weird alien fun spooky music in the background is also very good#the scene is perfect
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i love daft punk
ah... alive 2007 i dont know who thought making the prime time of your life/the brainwasher/rollin'/alive 10 minutes long was ok but i thank them for that
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Are you gonna make the playlists for the heartless characters public? Or has that already happened and I just missed it
AH I haven't shared my character-specific Heartless playlists as some of the songs on them were SUCH specific picks that they risk being highly spoilery lol 😅
(For funsies tho I'm gonna put some of my non-spoilery-est top tracks for each character under the cut! 🎶)
HEARTLESS: Heartbeat – The Midnight
ALCHEMY: Transform – Julianne Hough (this was the very first track on Alchemy's playlist it is SO them)
FLINT: Change Your Heart Or Die – The Midnight
EIRA: In The Cold – Vincent Lima
DOPPEL+GLASS: Call Them Brothers – Regina Spektor (And "Still Here" from Treasure Planet, but especially the Alex Ubego version)
RIVER: Machine Learning – Janani K. Jha
CREED: Hunting Witches – Kyle Stibbs
LORELEI: Siren Song – Lambia (Also: Ado’s version of Unravel 😩👌)
DIANA: Hell’s Comin’ With Me – (the Chloe Breez cover in particular)
LANCE: Blood Upon The Snow – Hozier (Most of his playlist is the kind of metal and high energy tunes you might expect for him, so this one's a fun outlier :3c )
BANDY: HARLEQUIN! – Vana
DOCK: Eye For An Eye – 8 Graves
#daily dork#heartless#abd illustrates#playlists#music#also: always v much open to suggestions if y'all have any tunes you associate with any of the Heartless crew! (^^)/#it was so hard to pick just one track apiece here omg sgfkhsfd#but these all inspire some fun mental images for me so hopefully they're a fun listen! (^^)/#fun fact my other pick for Bandy would've been that work song from Trolls 3#also I mention that particular cover of Still Here 'cause it's the closest a voice has sounded to how I imagine Doppel's voice#like its not exact but there's somethin about the tone and mix of softer moments along with the teeeeny amount of grit at the beltier parts#feels like it's D+G's range so it's nice to listen to when I'm trying to brainstorm anything about them
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