#he was like it's ok! we will get each other sick inevitably from here on out for the rest of our lives!

[coldswarkids]

also i 100% got bf sick and he has no option of working from home so now he's just suffering

[xanticore]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐀𝐃 𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐃 𝐁𝐎𝐘

Part two

Genre: angst

Setting: early 2000s ,, L.A.

Warnings: mentions of alcohol and drug addiction. Sex addiction. lots and lots of cursing. he cheats. (the horror) slight mentions of suicide. slight grammar errors im writing this at 3 am.

Summary: Jungkook was always one to have his anger get the best of him...that was only because of the amount of drugs and alcohol he abuses in his daily life. When you first met him, you knew he had personal problems but he never discussed those things with you. One night after a show, you wanted to talk about his habits and something snapped in him. You don't know if you're able to even look at him again.

Rockstar!Jungkook - he sings and plays guitar.

Jungkook had some problems...mentally. And you knew it, and so did his band mates. You were the type to try and ignore it and see the good in him for the most part. Certain times, Jungkook was definitely a good boyfriend to you. He would buy you expensive bouquets, new clothes, and even jewlery; but that was all during a time where he was sober. You don't know what happened to make him relapsed and you honestly tried to retrace your steps.

It gotten so hard on you, to the point Jaehyun, his bandmate that plays drums, had to remind you countless times that none of this wasn't your fault. You couldn't help but still have it on your mind though.

Kook distanced himself from you and he rarely ever calls you. You tried to call him but you would always hear that he was either unavailable or worse, just a dead line- no one would even pick up. Overthinking with such a guy like him was inevitable. You didn't know what he was doing because you couldn't even get a hold of him. You tried your best to let him be an adult and let him just comeback on his own; but that never worked out in the end.

So you decided to take matters into your own hands. Jaehyun contacted you that they would be during their last show of their tour in downtown L.A. at the metal club. You we're excited but very disappointed in how Jungkook didn't tell you but someone else did. You shrugged it off and made your way towards the club.

The show went on as planned and they performed- in a sense good. The other members were flawless with their instruments but you noticed that Kook wasn't doing so well. It was unusual for him to even slip up a riff. You sighed already could tell he had some alcohol in his system. It was even obvious in his singing. You looked over at the bassist and the other guitar player-Yugyeom and Eunwoo. The two seemed to take notice of Jungkooks performance and how it can affect the rest of the members and song all together.

Luckily, the show went on and managed to have the crowd cheering and screaming. You went backstage and waited for them to come out. Each member greeted you with a warm smile and Jaehyun stopped for a moment.

"You noticed?"

"Yeah...he's drunk. He was already in a shit mood ever since this morning. When he sees you, hopefully that sour attitude changes."

Jaehyun said before shaking his head. "If he does anything to you..let me know. Ok?" You nodded at his request and that nearly had your hair on your arms sticking up. At last Jungkook came off stage already having a beer bottle in his hand. He saw you and just rolled his eyes which you was taken aback by that action of his. "What are you doing here (name)?" He said nonchalantly, as if he didn't wanted you there in the first place.

"Jaehyun was nice enough to tell me you were doing your last tour stop here. Ughh Kook, you fucking reek of alcohol-"

Jungkook just chuckled and took a swig of his beer. "And this? can we talk about how you just relapsed out of nowhere and how you never return my calls? You've been so distant with me lately." You snapped at him as you watched him, carelessly drink his drink. "I've been busy-"

"Drinking and doing coke isn't being 'busy' you need serious help Jungkook and your band mates is slowly getting sick and tired of your behavior and so am I!"

"I don't fucking care what they think. I'm living my best fucking life as much as possible trying to keep myself fucking happy in this world!"

"So doing this is your solution?!"

"Yeah. Drugs, beer, a good fuck with a girl who isn't bugging me 24/7 trying to get in contact with me"

That was it. You froze for a moment and all the color on your face has drained as your heart sunk. Jungkook still didn't realize what he said. You watched him throw away the bottle, taking out a cigarette and lighting it with his lighter afterwards. You didn't have the energy to even comment on it but you were more worried about his wellbeing.

"Why? just....just why are you trying to kill yourself like this?" You said trying to not choke up on your words.

"Im tired. I kinda do wanna sleep." Kook replied, exhaling the nicotine. "also I wanna get away from you. i'm sick of you..."

im sick of you

im sick of you

You couldn't help but repeat those harsh words over and over. You couldn't tell if the alcohol or drugs were talking or Jungkook himself. He still had no reaction to what he said but you was already too weak to even argue with him. You felt tears roll down your cheeks and heard a sigh coming from him. "Look, I gotta go. I can't be here while you're crying like this-"

He walked passed you so carefree. He didn't even bother to look back as he walked down the hallway. After that, you knew it'll be the last time you talked with him. You felt like he didn't need you so why should you continue to care.

You left the club alone without your boyfriend that you once cherished and cared about.

Extra: 6 months later. Jungkook was in rehab in a therapy session. Told in Kooks pov.

I was in my therapy session and I told my therapist about my problems I had with the things I do. I've been told things that I regret saying to my girlfriend. I was just too upset with everyone and high off my fucking mind to the point she stopped all contact.

I wanted to go back to my habits again but that would only cause me more unwanted trauma. I was still in denial after what Jaehyun told me. I seriously don't remember anything from that night...and it pisses me off.

After receiving the news I've gotten from my brother, my whole world crashed and I wanted a way to get out of here. I couldn't bare just being here I was mentally and physically exhausted with my life. Nothing was making me happy and touring definitely didn't help. I grew an unhealthy addiction with sex. I had sex with many woman not caring in the slightest I was taken. Not caring I had someone worried about me back at home.

I really loved (name)...I really did. In the beginning; I tried my absolute hardest to stay away from the dark. She was my light.

"It seems you wasn't ready..."

"I wasn't. I wish I could go back in time and changed everything."

a/n : Yay or nah? Lowkey was in my feelings but i wanted to write angst.

dividers: cr to owners

[chaos-proffessa]

Ok I feel bad about torturing the Bois in my last fic sooooo

Here's some sicky fluff

The Bois be boyfs so yee here ya go

Both sick but Onyx more so then Riely

Inducing, kink mention, possible part two?

Enjoy member chaos can't spell

Onyx and Riely had both been getting sick for the past week, it had just hit them hard the day before so now, they lay in bed together trying to warm each other up best they can, even though they don't need to it's just thier fevers talking. Rielys alarm blaired making them both stir, Riely shuffled around reaching for his phone before hitting snooze. "Hh-hI'Tsh!.. snFf!!" Onyx looked around blearily nuzzling back into Rielys chest. "Bless baby. Sorry that was the meds alarm, were due for another dose now" Riely explained running his hand up and down Onyxs back. Ever scence they'd gotten sick Riely had appointed himself as primary caretaker, he wasn't as bad anyway and he liked looking after onyx. Besides "hh-H'TshhT! Hh'gShht!... Ghh SnDfk!!" It wouldn't really do much good to have Onyx sneeze all over the apartment. "Five m'bore m'binits..." Onyx pleaded. Riely sighed nodding his head "alright baby, five more muinits".

After an half hour of Onyx delaying the inevitable, they both took their medicine. Cringing at the taste, Onyx in his fevered state had ordered in bulk a carton of Verry Berry cold medicine, let's just say it was Verry berry terrible. Onyx yawned and stretched out sitting up against the headboard and laying his head on Rielys shoulder. Riely smiled watching his eyes struggle to stay open "you wanna go to bed sweetheart?" Onyx shook his head supresing another yawn and forced his eyes to stay open "wanna stay up with you.. snf, SnFf! Ghh" Onyxs face scrunched up as he scrubbed at his nose. "Hey honey c'mon, careful youl hurt yourself" Riely gently scolded, taking Onyxs hands in his "h-hey that my liHh-hIh... Line!" Riely watched as Onyx hitched his breath catching and chest rising until "HhIHH!!-... Hh.. S-SdfKk!! Ghh" it went away "f-fuHuck it itches so baHAhhhH!! .... Hhh" Riely hummed concerned "hang on baby I have an idea" Riely wandered off and out of the room, leaving Onyx to get sfuck in a cycle of false starts and sniffles. Riely walked back into the room holding something behind his back "whaH!-hh SdfK!... Whassat?" Onyx asked, Riely smiled and explained "welllll you know how you told me bout the kink and stuff a while ago, I kinda bought something when we started getting sick I thought maybe you'd like it?" Riely held out his hands in one, a variety of small to large feathers, in the other a small box, it looked almost medicinal. Onyx titled his head, Riely smiled a small blush on his cheeks as he brought the box closer. "Chikni?", "yup!, it's a medicine I don't know where from but it's supposed to help with clearing sinuses." Onyxs brown furrowed "h-how?", "... I think you know how baby, I was thinking we start with helping you with the feathers first and we see how that goes... And then... maybe?" "Maybe what?" "I mean .. if your worried it's to strong.... I could try the stuff first?" Onyx smirked "are you suggesting or asking me honey?"

Onyx sniffled staring at the different types of feathers, there were three, a long stuff one it was so long, it didn't look Verry tickly almost like a rolled up tissue?, the second was small almost as long as half his finger, this one was Verry fluffy looking, and the last was a long feather it looked almost like the ones from the duster they had?, just looking at them made his breath catch, he sniffled looking up to Riely, Riely looked at the feathers he looked Verry concentrated, "maybe the big one first?" Riely sugesterd pointing to the big fluffy one on the end, Onyx shrugged "I don't mind j-jUhH ...just make your ch-choice sSdff!" Riely nodded grabbing the feather, leaning in close to give him a small kiss, Onyx leant in scrunching his nose as it brushed against Rielys, after seperating themselfs Riely went to work, he he'd up the feather and ran the tip down the bridge of Onyxs nose, watching it twitch and scrunch, he placed the feather to the tip of Onyxs nose and pressed watching the barbs spread, some poking around his septum and just barley inside his nostrils, Onyxs breath catched and Rielys kept the feather still waiting until his breathing steadied before carefully tracing down his septum, and around the left nostril, he could see Onyxs nose run down attaching to the feather, he sniffled desperately, letting out a small whimper as Riely pulled the feather away. Looking at Onyx he saw teary eyes, flairing leaking nostrils and his mouth open just slightly but enough that he could hear the soft small gasps of irritation slip through. Riely nodded, he wanted to tease Onyx first in hopes of getting a full fit out of him, Onyxs sneezes were usually rather small unless in fits, so he had to work slow and deliberate. Riely reached for the long pointy one next, gently poking and prodding around the underside of Onyxs nose, after a rather desperate hitch he knew he wouldn't have much time to push the itch futher so he went for the kill, Riely tilted Onyxs head back for better access and teased the feather in as far back as he could comfortably go, he didn't want to hurt Onyx just get to the sensitive spot deep in there, just a little farther, Riely thought poking, "hHiH!-" and prodding "H-HiHh gehHh!!-" fluttering "H-HIHHhH!! EhEHH!-H!!" And finally "EHh-He-HEhHHH!!!" He ran the tip around his sensitive sinuses, and just as he'd finished his third lap "EHhHH-GGTsHHSEeWW!!!-" Onyx sprayed directly infront of him not having time to even think about covering, he just needed the itch gone and he wasn't done "EhH-XxTSHhh!! EhH-TTtSshhHH!!!-'GgTSHH!!-TShhHHEW!!!!" Riely stayed watching for a moment before he guided Onyxs head to his chest holding him through the fit.

"Hh'gShht!!.. ghh SdFk!" "Bless baby, that's it let it all out" Riely said, "wanna go for a shower honey?" Onyx nodded lifting his head from the soiled shirt Infront of him, WebWorks of mess connecting them together, his eyes teary and nose still desperately runny and itchy "yeahhh... M-maybe I hh-H'TshhT! snFf!... Ghh... maybe we should."

[offmychest-official]

i am incomprehensibly angry today. my mother and her fucking republican boyfriend are out getting a dog and i cannot TELL you in writing how stupid of a decision this is.

we have a cat. i love him very much but he has some medical issues. he has a tendency to itch at his face, presumably due to the buildup on his chin and poor cleanup of his food dishes.

we are poor. we had to hold off his vet visits for about an entire year and a half because my mother didn't have the money. it was REALLY bad; he used to have a bunch of gashes near his eyes damn well constsntly because of how terrible and itchy he was all the time. we got him to the vet in early september and his meds have helped him. a lot!! hes okay now & all healed up.

but the vet visit was very very expensive and my mom could only afford it with some kind of vet card? idk but my point is vet visits are very expensive and we can't afford to take our cat there regularly.

and suddenly in comes my fucking mother off to get a puppy because idk her boyfriend wanted it So so bad because yeah? geniunely ridiculous.

she forgets to wash the cat's chin repeatedly, which is for his itchiness. the reason WHY he was sick was because my mother apparently never cleaned his food dish in the four years of taking care of him once. 2 of our previous cats were too obese to clean themselves properly, and our elderly cat had so much buildup on her bottom that when i think about it it makes me want to fucking throttle my mother. she adopted four cats on complete impulse, which led to us inevitably giving them away when no landlord wanted to deal with the wear and tear of having 4 cats. neither my mother or her shithead want to play with buddy for the required time and i can't do much about it because i'm at school all day and when i get home im exhausted and hungry. our cat is also fairly anxious and he DOES NOT like new things; he growls at the mailman and runs away whenever i come home from school.

and now, with all of these problems she wants to get a fucking PUPPY with our anxious adult cat? EXCUSE ME? EXCUSE ME???? Do you not see a flaw here. Is there not something wrong here. Hello. Can anyone hear me

she had the balls to act surprised when i had an immediate negative reaction to her announcing the dog to me in the car. ok. i don't get a say in it bc im her daughter. not like i live here or anything. nahhhh that'd be so crasy

im not even against the idea completely as long as i have my own space where the dog isn't allowed to go! i like dogs theyre silly! but my mother is the type to buy from backyard breeders because its a cheap animal. i doubt she even knows about FIP or bird flu or ANYTHING like that. that dog is not going to be fucking trained or socialized properly i know it in my BONES. and im not even sure she knows how to introduce the cat to the dog. where the hell is my cat going to stay while they get used to each other? my room has poisonous plants in it and the office is almost completely empty, i wouldn't want him staying in there for a long period of time. my cat can't stay in my room especially since i'm gone in the mornings and my mother works while i'm at school, so there's nobody to supervise him. he eats plants and the plants will make him sick/kill him possibly

do we even have enough money for a dog bed? dog toys? for it to be sterilized? enough time for it to play safely? time for it to walk outside? proper training? i bet you the answer is no. lmfao

this entire situation is just so fucking STUPID and irresponsible. i will admit that i do have a hand in this, and i'll try to rectify it more especially with my cat's chin wipe thing. but i have to deal with this fucking shit until i move out in 3 years. what happens to our cat when im gone? is he going to turn into another Lola? completely inable to manage himself because my mother is too distracted with the dog? will she get MORE dogs like she did with our cats?

im going to kill everyone in this HOUSE!!!!!!! FUCK ALL OF YOU SERIOUSLY AND FUCK YOU EVEN MORE FOR NOT TALKING TO ME ABOUT IT IN ANY DEPTH

.

[actualbird]

idk if this is a controversial opinion but with all the au talk of a happier luke/luke without suffering, it's fun to think about but it feels like it undermines what the message from the benji card was trying to tell us? like my wish for luke is that whether he ends up with rosa or not... he'll be fine regardless (even if it takes him longer to realize or with the help of other people). it kinda feels like a "we have to save him" narrative in which the only happy ending for luke is that if he gets together with rosa (or in another case, if he never got sick in/got into nsb the first place? though not saying that non nsb luke wouldn't come with other sets of problems idk eeeee) i just want the little baby boy to be ok no matter the situation :(

hi anon!!! idt it's a controversial opinion and i agree with you!! tho i also dont think it's like....particularly mutually exclusive, if that makes sense?

i adore u bringing up SSR Dream of Benji because 1) man i love that card story and 2) i can super see where your coming from clearly when u bring up that card. the card where luke himself wonders so hard if only he made different choices, he wouldnt be "locked" into the the "destiny" of pain and suffering, the card where mc implores him to not focus so much on what-ifs and accept that there is always the hope and possibility for joy and love even in a life that will have pain. in terms of parallels, it's clear to see. when making aus, are we doing the same thing luke did in that card?

ehhhh not rlly? i think it depends? UHAJVFASLFHAV. like, forgive me for im about to get meta and whatnot but i think whats key here is intent and purpose. luke did all his wondering about happier/better what-ifs due to a mix of resignation to his fate and also self-loathing. it's why i used the word "locked" awhile ago; he thought his fate was inevitable due to his choices and that better things were futile. whereas, in exploring AUs it's less of like—and here is my belated note that ofc i can only speak for myself cuz im not a mind reader or anything kjHVKJSDF—it's less of being convinced of the futility of what timeline!luke we're seeing but more just a want to Explore. i love AUs and will always support its intent of exploration outside of the realm of canon, it's a place of curiosity and possibilities! and maybe the reason it's coming out a bunch now is simply cuz main story stuff has been quite emotionally jarring ajfvaJHLV I CANNOT FAULT ANYONE FOR WANTING FLUFF IN THESE TIMES YKNOW. I WANT THE FLUFF TOO.....I HUNGER FOR IT!!!

[EDIT: i realize a simpler way to word everything above is "miles morales voice: I CAN DO BOTH!!!!!!" yknow. we can love AUs and love canon!]

but overall i do very much agree with your sentiment; i also want for luke to get better, i want him to eventually live a happy life no matter what timeline hes in. in my mind's eye, his recovery is possible in All universes. it's just harder in some and easier in others. in timelines where he acquires his condition, i dont think the lynchpin-catalyst for him bettering himself is necessarily in a romantic relationship with mc, but in the general concept of just like.......connecting and allowing himself to be emotionally vulnerable and honest with another human being, creating a support system with the people around him, letting himself be okay with needing help. im a big believer in platonic love and found fam so even in an timeline where nobody in the nxx team starts dating each other, so long as luke can make that choice to let people in, i think he'll get better. not perfect, not magically cured, and definitely not easily, but still better.

at the end of the day i actually dont see luke's most damning cause of suffering to be his condition (because as we can see from his personal story route, he can deffo find joy even with it). rather, it's his outlook on himself and letting himself be open with others. it just so happens that due to the romance genre of tot, that his outlook changes due to romantic love.

sorry to be a pretentious dweeb and bring up song lyrics jhvKJHVJSHDFVS BUT THERES JUST THIS SONG IVE BEEN OBSESSED WITH LATELY THAT CAME INTO MY MIND WHEN ANSWERING THIS, Complicated Creation by Cloud Cult

I called up the moon for a little consultation Yes, you know that I'm a happy man But something in me is burning I gotta push it, push it out, push it, push it out So much frustration The moon called me back And said "I'll give you some advice [...] If you rid of all your baggage you will likely float away But you can't know beauty if you don't know pain Gotta feel it, feel it all, feel it, feel it all There's your medication

i bring these up cuz at the crux of it.....to me, luke's entire narrative and character (regardless of timeline and AU) is hinged on the central conflict of "am i doomed to pain? how can i be happy if there is so much suffering?" and really the answer is "pain, one way or another, is Going to happen. and so will joy. but to get there, you have to open yourself up to both, you have to work through both, you have to let both in. no running away, no giving up"

i think luke will be okay

[hermioneismyrealname]

Ok everyone.

Let's put some chronic internet buffoons in their place, shall we?

Let's first talk about the OG thai bl. Love sick. I was there. Let's talk about the one that got thai bl some traction. Love by chance. I was there. How about the one that put thai bl on the map, tharntype. I was there. Now KinnPorsche. The one that got global attraction from (mostly) everyone. Here still.

Before Asian bl, I was here for hannibal, supernatural and fucking merlin since day 1. Yuri on ice, been waiting for that movie for how many years now? And don't get me started on banana fish, given or all the bl manhwa, manhua and Manga. Call me fujoshi? Yeah aight but I'm here for the gl series (give me more) and the well written straight shit too.

The difference between the two kinds of media I present to you is deliberate fan service and fan acknowledgment.

If I were to categorize shows like merlin or Teen Wolf, I would put it as unfortunate writing. Supernatural and hannibal were not really a romance focused genre. Considering how early game these shows were, I wasn't surprised with the ending of all 4 of these series. Which is why good omens, heartstopper, young royals, and our flag means death is refreshing. These four bring a genre where LIFE is portrayed with romance being the center of it. They don't always give a happy ending. They have a realistic ending. I cannot always say the same for asian dramas.

In the early days of Asian bl, Thai especially, it focused on plot, actual plot, not hot guys who look great, but great actors. A good example is SOTUS and Until We Meet Again. A recent addition that I can add is Your Name Engraved Herein. It was also about getting society comfortable with LGBTQ+. Also, it tackled the ridiculous education system and challenged it. Up for some football anyone? This used to be a art form of portrayal and storytelling. Taiwanese drama has maintained a good story plot throughout most of it productions but it is a shame that it goes underrated most of the time.

Now, I observe the market for bl. I do blame KinnPorsche of this, but if I were to truly put a pin in it, I would stab it at tharntype. The thai entertainment industry is going to suffer. The primary reason for the inevitable doom is the unfortunate marketing ploy the actors have to do off-screen. Take tharntype, an unfortunately perfect example. While mame (previously) never re-used the actors in her universe, post tharntype, mew and gulf were expected to act again together. Why? The off-screen fan-service. Behind the scenes show actors being comfortable at their workplace. On stage in front of screaming, fans is just another act. If they did love each other, they wouldn't flaunt it as they did. Even now, there are wanjaai still thinking gulf is mew's affianced. It took mew to personally address the fans' ridiculous behavior and yet, here we are; bubbles mourning and the... I can't remember the ohmnannon fan base. I saw the panic when saint wouldnt be with perth again, and then when saint wouldn't be with zew. HAHAHAHA. Remember pretty recently when Freen's privacy was invaded and fans felt betrayed? pathetic.

Just thinking about it makes me laugh because even the japanese actors have their boundaries. Take Keita Machida for example. Not only did he get featured in Alice in Borderland, but he is also married. There was some backlash but not as much as Cha Seo Won from Unintentional Love Story and definitely not as much as any Thai BL actor. These are talented actors who are capable of so much. Take Fluke Natouch. He is a wonderful actor and is trying not limit himself to a ship/pairing/couple. Talk to me when you have seen Red Wine in the Dark Night. Imagine what the industry could truly be if markets wouldn't limit them.

If however, this is about the comfort of the actor, then FINE! But don't condemn them when they suddenly aren't paired up with each other again. For this, I put forward PremBoun (yes i just did that), NetJames and TutorYim. I will not mention FortPeat or BossNoeul because I can see all four of them going independent and succeeding whilst maintaining a brilliant friendship. Peat and Noeul especially. Cant wait for that to rock people's boat.

Need I remind these people that THEY ARE ACTORS! NOT DOLLS OR PUPPETS! Heck need I remind the public of the 227 scandal?

As fans, shouldn't we support the actor for acting? Not the ship for putting on smiles?

Now I sip my tea as I watch the ships. Actually, my eyes aren't on the ships; they are watching the idiots who can't take nuance and are chronically online. I watch them cry when their ships sink as me and my fellow veterans relax on our sundeck enjoying our teas, coffee and martinis with those tiny little umbrellas. Been through this all before and this whole manifesto was completely useless because nothing is going to change. Looking at the idiots in Macau for Bible's recent fanmeet.

*lifts my half empty teacup* Perhaps I am just @absolutebl but more chaotic and less diplomatic. Do I care about how many shippers this hurt? Considering some of their bullshit behavior, I'm gonna say how it is. I've been dealing with death threats since 2012 and the threats of chemical castration from my own government, I cant seem to fucking care. Cheers to chaos.

[ejzah]

A/N: Back again after far too long. Hope it’s worthwhile for anon who inquired about this story recently.

***

One Wrong Move, Part 3

Deeks paced, silently counting the steps from one side of his room to other. By now, he had the exact number memorized, and the monotonous activity no longer kept his mind distracted enough to keep out his worries.

As far as hospital rooms went, it wasn’t terrible; it was larger than usual, and had suspiciously comfy chairs. The walls comprised mostly of glass and large hazard sign that covered the door, destroyed any question of why we was here. Although blinds were drawn at the moment, Deeks knew that could change if his status deteriorated.

Fortunately, the hospital staff let him keep his street clothes, for now, which helped with the illusion of normalcy just the tiniest bit. The port in the back of his hand for quick access to blood and administration of medication, not so much.

Every minute felt like a horrific countdown to an inevitably unpleasant end.

The door slid open behind him with a whoosh and he turned around, expecting another doctor or nurse to check his blood pressure, temperature. Instead, he found Kensi hesitating in the doorway.

They’d only been apart for a couple hours while she updated the rest of the team, but his relief at seeing her was instantaneous. “Kensi. Are you sure you should be in here?” As happy as he was to see her, he couldn’t increase her exposure.

“Yes, baby, it’s ok,” Kensi assured him, coming into the room so the door slid closed again with a definitive click, closing them on together. “The same precautions as before.”

“I guess that’s good. What’s going on with Fadel?” he asked, more for something to say than because he was actually curious.

“Sam and Callen took his statement; he confessed to everything. Now he’s receiving treatment under armed guard.” She paused, and Deeks wondered if she was thinking about the likelihood that Fadel Ali would actually make it. “Everyone sends their thoughts by the way.”

Kensi smiled softly. “Nell said you better get back fast because Velma needs her Shaggy.”

Deeks managed a grim smile.

“For sure.”

“And Sam threatened to kick you ass if you even think of getting sick.”

He actually chuckled at that, nodding at the predictability of Sam using threats as encouragement.

“Now that is, uh, truly terrifying.”

Kensi nodded, her lower lip trembling. It broke his heart to watch her struggle and not be able to do anything about it. Pulling in a breath, she regained some control, though any signs of forced humor were gone.

“How are you doing? I mean, really?” she asked softly.

“So far I’m ok. They have me on this experimental antibody treatment,” he explained, shrugging. “Apparently it’s still in the testing phases, but the military has access and I signed off on using it. So I guess that’s awesome.” He looked downward, not really seeing. “Otherwise, it’s just an agonizing wait until something happens.”

“Deeks,” Kensi whispered unevenly.

“I wish I could touch you so bad,” he admitted, lifting his head. The three yards between them might have been an endless gulf.

“Maybe there’s a way.” Kensi walked across the room, and grabbed a couple sets of latex gloves. She pulled a pair on, handing the other to Deeks. “One of the doctors said this was alright until—for now.”

Deeks stayed still, a glove dangling from his hand.

“I know it’s not the same, but I guess it’s the next best thing,” Kensi said, soundly oddly shy. Slowly, she lifted her hand, taking what felt lie, an eternity to cup his cheek. When she made contact, he closed his eyes.

No, it wasn’t anything like actually feeling Kensi’s skin on his, but it was better than nothing. Sighing deeply, he leaned into her touch. He tugged on a glove, struggling in his eagerness to get it on, and reached out until he found her cheek.

“Thank you,” he murmured. They stayed that way for a few minutes without speaking, just basing on each other’s presence.

“Deeks,” Kensi said suddenly, her voice rising on his name with enough alarm that he opened his eyes. “You feel really warm.”

***

A/N: I know that there’s all kind of reasons why Kensi wouldn’t be allowed to hang out with Deeks without more PPE and they wouldn’t be allowed to touch, but we’re ignoring that, ok?

As far as the medication I mentioned, it’s an actual treatment for Ebola, but was not approved until 2020. I figure it wouldn’t be totally outlandish to think the military would have access.

[alovesongshewrote]

Could you share headcanons any fluffy The Lost Boys hcs? I love them being polyamorous with each other.

ofc! they're kind of chaotic, i hope you like them. there isn't much physical romance here, but the fluff still fluffs

It's totally Normal to Move into a Cave with the Homies and Care for the Homies and Gently Kiss the Homies and | General Lost Boys Hcs

Any fluffy hcs you say?

hehehehehe, ok

So, I 100% love and adore the “marko keeps pet pigeons in the cave” thing

I think he named them after everyone else 

There's a paul pigeon, a dwayne pigeon, a david pigeon

He will change the names depending on his mood

Like, if a certain pigeon and a certain boy are pissing him off at the same time

The boy and the pigeon share a name for a week

Paul is a regular victim of this

Rip paul

Speaking of paul

He’s got a sick jacket, right?

Yeah, yeah he does

And he takes that shit off at every opportunity

I don’t blame him, it’s california and they’re all wearing leather jackets 

In what has to be the summer

Idk if vampires can feel heat the way humans can, but like

Still

Anyway, he takes it off any chance he gets 

Someone’s kinda cold?

Here, have the jacket

About to commit an especially bloody murder?

Maybe take off the jacket, so it “won’t get dirty”

The boys got max’s sort-of girlfriend’s son to drink blood?

Time to take off the jacket

And ofc, this means that literally everyone else makes a game of hiding it when they inevitably find it lying somewhere

Marko does this the most, like literally, every time he sees the coat he just

Hides it

Dwayne will also hide it, with less frequency, but with more tact 

He puts that fuckin coat in the Weirdest Places, it’s great

And lastly, david plays the least, but when he does, no one can find the fucking jacket for a week

And he’ll just sit there, drinking blood from a wine bottle and eating unseasoned chinese food, completely unbothered, acting like he’s above it all

Paul knows who hides his shit tho

They all have tells

But he doesn’t say anything because the game is Fun

(bonus: laddie, the randomly acquired child that this polycule adopted, sweet Son Boy Allowed also partakes in the game- kind of.  He’ll find the jacket lying around and use it as a blanket.  It’s cute, makes undead hearts melt, laddie is Everyone’s son/younger brother and they Care About Him)

Also, speaking of jackets

If we go back to marko for a sec

I’ve got a hc that everyone is constantly on the lookout for extra shit he can add to his jacket

It’s genuinely really nice

It’s like 

A group project 

“Lets decorate marko- by The Lost Boys”

Anyway, onto dwayne 

I think either he painted the big ass cat on his jacket, or marko did

(marko likes to decorate things)

When the big ass cat first made its appearance, paul fuckin

Made a cat noise/growl at dwayne 

Yknow that weird growl sound dustin henderson makes in stranger things?  It’s that, that’s the sound

And it actually gets a smile out of dwayne 

Speaking of which- and this is more or less unrelated to anything- but personally i think the relationship between dwayne and paul is underrated 

They’re fuckin cute, ok?

Paul brings dwayne books (not necessarily good ones, but it’s the thought that counts) and if he isn’t hiding it, dwayne bring paul music stuff- tapes and such for the stereo in the cave

They know each other’s interests and they make an effort to support each other, it’s lovely 

Also, if he’s not hiding it, and if his hands are free, dwayne will hold paul’s jacket for him

As said, marko always hides the jacket, and david

Honestly, david hands the jacket to marko

Ik i sort of characterize paul and marko as the ones who Cause Problems On Purpose, but david is just as bad

Speaking of david

This bitch, i care about him

He acts like he doesn’t give a shit

Like he doesn’t love his boys

But that’s bullshit

He’d kill for them in a fucking second 

Also, i think he shields them from max’s less pleasant tendencies 

Like, he can’t hide them from max 

And he can’t hide max from them- not like he does with star

But if he knows max is in a shit mood

A real shit mood

He’ll do his best to get the boys to go somewhere else

He acts like a bitch, but he genuinely cares- oh my god

He’s

No, i don’t want to say it

He’s a fucking tsundere.

Ok, im gonna go sleep off that realization, wish me luck lmao

(Final bonus: if anyone ever questions the relationship, the boys just gaslight the shit out of whoever does the questioning.)

Paul, sitting in Marko's lap: What do you mean you don't kiss the homies goodnight?

Dwayne, hugging David from behind (which david puts up with for the bit, not because he enjoys physical affection, noooo): That's fucked up man.

Marko, with a hand in Paul's hair: You've gotta kiss the homies goodnight, man

oh god

this doesn't have to do as much with someone questioning the relationship, but

David: What do you mean your blood isn't in your homie's veins?

help, oh god, i need to sleep

[enchantestuff]

promises - red bull Sebastian vettel

as I promised just complete fluff and no smut. our poor seb isn't appreciated enough so here is the four times Sebastian jokingly proposed to you and the one time he actually did 

NOT MY GIF

warnings; none really, fluff (btw this made me realise how TERRIBLE I am at writing fluff sorry <3 )

2.1k words, she's long

Sebastian was nervous about getting a new engineer, he so badly wanted to win a championship with Redbull and Christian had confided in him, telling him that this engineer and their new competitive car, would help him live out his dream of being a Formula One champion.

It was nearing the start of the new season and Sebastian had still yet to meet the person that he would be talking to under his most stressful moments and who he had to have full faith in while driving his car. He had begun to think that maybe he never would meet his new engineer when he received a call from Christian, telling him that they both would take place in a race for the Redbull youtube channel, where Sebastain and his new engineer would race against Mark and his, the twist being that the engineers would be the ones driving, not the drivers themselves. Sebastian agreed knowing that it would be a great way to remove any awkwardness between the two of you.

Only a few days later Sebastian was standing on a random racetrack, talking to Mark when he noticed Mark's engineer walking towards them with a beautiful young lady by his side, who Sebastian assumed was his very own engineer. “Hi! It's so nice to meet you Sebastian! My name's Y/N,” you cheerfully greeted him as you shook his hand.

A smile immediately appeared on Sebastian's face at your warm nature and he knew you two would get along just fine. “Please, call me Seb, '' he grinned as he brought a kiss to your knuckles, “now, are you ready to beat these idiots” he joked as he cocked his head towards your opponents.

“Oh, we are going to make a great pair, Seb” you joked as you accepted a helmet off Christian and climbed into the car, getting comfortable inside of the driver's seat.

“Are you a good driver?” Sebastian asked as he secured himself in the passenger's side of the car.

“I don't think I can call myself a good driver with a future Formula One champion sitting right next to me” you smiled as you drove the car to the start line. Sebastian smiled before he braced himself as the flag spun, indicating the start of the race. His head knocked against the headrest as you sped through the track, blocking Mark's engineer as he tried to overtake you and weaving through deadly corners with minimal braking.

It was when the car drifted across the finish line that Seb turned towards you with a wide grin plastered on his face, his heart was thumping hard in his chest with adrenaline. “Please marry me” he joked and you laughed as you high fived him, pleased with your small victory.

* * *

The atmosphere around the paddock was tense, the drivers championship standings were close. Sebastian could almost taste the victory, but he still had a lot of work to do. He had what he would consider a terrible qualifying and had spent the whole night before the race brainstorming ideas on how to improve his time, however nothing seemed to be working.

Everyone was stressed in the Redbull motorhome the following day, which was never something you liked to see, but you understood it as you too had a sleepless night. You pulled Seb to the side the minute you saw him and told him of the new strategy you dreamt up late last night. He was hesitant since it hadn’t been approved by anyone, but he was willing to take the risk if it meant he would win.

“Are you sure?” he had asked you, looking intently into your eyes.

You shook your head. “No not really, but I know you and I know you're the only driver that could make it work” you confided. You both stared at each other in silence for a few moments before Seb pulled you in for a hug, he gently stroked your back as he squeezed you into him. You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding and hugged him back with just as much force.

“I trust you” he whispered into your ear and you felt a shiver run down your spine.

“Good luck” you spoke as you gave him a final squeeze and pulled away. You bit your nails out of anticipation and shot Seb an encouraging grin as he climbed into his car.

The race went much better than expected and although Christian was furious that you didn't run the plan through him first, he was satisfied that Seb was currently P1 with a final lap to go. Your nerves were at an all time high throughout the race and you could feel the grin creeping onto your face as the end got closer and closer.

It was when Sebastian crossed the checkered flag that you let out a relieved laugh. “P1 Seb! P1! '' you grinned as you spoke to him through his earpiece.

“Ahhhh thank you, Y/N! Will you and your strategy marry me please?” he laughed

“Congratulations,” you smiled “I’ll see you up on the podium”

You practically ran to the podium with the rest of the team, grinning up at Sebastian as he lifted the trophy into the air and you could almost swear he was grinning right back at you. You clapped and hollered at him and a blush crept up your cheeks when you saw him mouth a “Thank you” in your direction.

* * *

It was inevitable that you and Seb would become close, but you two had a very different relationship compared to the other drivers and their engineers. While the other pairs spent their time going over the car's performance and new strategies, you spent yours pressed up against the wall of your office while Sebastian kissed you with as much force as he could muster. Your most heated and intimate moments were just after a race when he was full of energy and you were full of pride.

Behind closed doors you and Sebastian could almost be compared to lovers, but out in the public eye you two kept things strictly professional, which is why you were full of shock the night that Sebastain had won his title.

The whole Redbull garage and the majority of the drivers went out to celebrate Sebastian as well as an amazing season. You had congratulated him at the start of the night, you shared a quick kiss when you were sure nobody was looking and he had bought you a drink. You hadn't seen him since, however and spent the last few hours talking to random drivers and team principals.

You almost jumped out of your skin when you felt two hands land firmly on your waist. You turned your head to see a tipsy Sebastian Vettel smiling at you with a mischievous glimmer in his eyes. “And there's the main man himself,” you giggled as you turned around to face him.

“I missed you,” he blurted out as his hands travelled dangerously low for a public event.

“Did you?” you asked “you're the one that disappeared for an hour” you continued as you tapped his chest.

“Kimi wanted to take shots,” he grinned as one hand moved to cup your bum.

“Sebastian!” you scolded as you swatted his hand away.

“What? It's not like i've never done that before”

“Well yeah, but-but not in public’ you whispered as you looked around, wondering if anyone had noticed the exchange between the two of you.

“I want you,” Sebastian declared, suddenly looking much more sober as he stared into your eyes.

“Let's take this conversation outside” replied as you took a step away from him. Sebastian sighed as he took your hand and led you out the doors, he didn’t care who saw as you both walked by, he didn’t care about anything anymore, he was sick of hiding his feelings for you from everyone. He wanted people to know you were his, he wanted to hold your hand in the paddocks and kiss you for good luck before a race.

Sebastain could feel his heart hammering in his chest as you paced back and forth in front of him, your hands rubbing your arms for warmth. He took a step towards you and grabbed your face with his hands. “Look at me. I want to make us official” you opened your mouth to speak but he cut you off “No listen to me. I need to say this. i don't want to sneakily glance at you during meetings anymore. I want to marry you one day. God! I want to marry you, Y/N! Is that not obvious?”

“Ok” you spoke, a blush rose to your cheeks and you cheekily grinned at him.

‘What?” Sebastian stuttered

“Let's make it official”.

* * *

You and Sebastian had been publicly dating for a little over a year and you were beyond happy. It was currently his birthday and you woke up early to make him breakfast. You both had celebrated the night before and you had to admit you were still sore but you wanted his day to be as special as him.

Sebastian tossed and turned in his sleep, frowning as he felt the cold sheets next to him instead of your warm body. His eyes fluttered open as his eyebrows furrowed. A smile soon made its way onto his face as he smelt the heavenly scent of breakfast. He turned to stand up but immediately sat back down at the sound of your voice. “No! Dont get up!” you pleaded and he laughed at the sight of you struggling to hold the breakfast tray in your hands.

“You shouldn't have, liebe” he muttered as he helped you place the breakfast tray on the bed.

“Maybe” you shrugged as you sat down next to him, “but I wanted to, now go on! Try it!” you encouraged as you practically shoved the plate into his face.

“Okay, okay” he laughed as he defensively put his hands up. You watched him as he put a fork full of food into his mouth, his eyes involuntarily shut as a quiet moan left his mouth. “Mmm marry me” he said once he swallowed the food.

“Is it okay?” you asked nervously as you played with your hands, it was your first time cooking for him and although it was just breakfast, you still wanted to make a good impression.

Sebastians head flipped in your direction, a shocked look plastered on his face. “It's better than okay, darling. Thank you. I love it. I love you”

Your heart fluttered once you heard those three words come out of his mouth. You grinned so hard that your cheeks began to hurt. “Oh god, please say something” he pleaded and he began to think that he spoke those words too soon.

“I love you, Sebastian” you spoke as you wrapped your arms around him and straddled his hips, placing kisses all over his face before finally collecting your lips.

* * *

It was yours and Sebastains anniversary but you both had decided that you wouldn't do anything special, you were just going to get takeout and watch a movie.

You pulled into the house with the food in your hands. You unlocked the door and called out to your boyfriend, “Honey, I’m home!” you joked, locking the doors behind you kicking your shoes off. You placed the food on the table next to the door and turned around, the sight in front of you shocking you as you let out a loud gasp.

Sebastian was kneeling on the floor with a ring in his hand, rose petals littered around him. You couldn't focus on the gorgeous dinner he had laid out on the table or the sweet music playing on the radio, you could only look at his glossy eyes and nervous face.

“Y/N, darling, I love you. I think i've loved you since I first laid eyes on you on that racetrack.” he laughed and looked down at the floor before connecting his eyes with yours again,”You have been with me through my lowest lows and my highest highs and somehow still manage to look at me with a glimmer in your eyes. There's nothing I can’t do with you by my side. So i’m asking-no-i'm practically begging you to finally marry me, for real this time. Will you do me the honours and become my wife?”

You nodded at him with tears in your eyes as you took small steps towards him. “I want to hear you say it, liebe”

“Yes, Sebastian! Of course I’ll marry you”

[anzuuyo]

Fake Boyfriend | Sanzu Haruchiyo

cw: dumbassery, cringe, anxiety, mentions of alcohol, mentions of pedophilia, swearing

ft: Sanzu Haruchiyo

a/n: ooc is always a possibility, and I do apologize for it. Also, this wasn't edited either so. This is honestly completely self-indulgent, I actually had a dream about this and had to write about it.

Sighing for what seemed like the 100th time, you looked around at your classmates conversing with each other, dressed up in fancy clothes.

Why were you here again? Ah, that's right, a select amount of students from your university were chosen to attend this business party to help with getting mutuals and learning about the business world. And you were, unfortunately, one of the chosen.

What a pain.

'Honestly, I would've much rather stayed at home and binged some Game of Thrones'

Thinking to yourself, as you stood off to the side with a barely touched glass of champagne in your hands.

'and the alcohol sucks here too'

Feeling someone bump into you from behind, you glanced back only to see Kazutora, looking at you with a smile.

"Tora, hey" you smiled softly back at him

He was your best friend and the only reason why you haven't gone insane yet.

"Hey you, not looking too happy I see"

"I hate thiiiiis, wanna like run away back to our apartment and just be lazy instead?"

He was also your roommate

"As tempting as that sounds, we have to attend this. Don't look too depressed, we're getting an extra 10% on top of our final grade for even attending this. It's a win in my book" Sighing, you slouched slightly with an unamused look on your face.

"Ok but, what If I'm okay with not getting that extra 10%? I'm passing my classes perfectly fine right now" You crossed your arms while looking at a group of classmates laughing over something that probably wasn't all that funny.

"Besides how'd they know if we went home?"

"Because you have to sign in and out to even enter the building, didn't you say you were smart?" Wrapping an arm around your shoulder, Kaztora leans his weight on you.

"Shut up, I'm tired" You grumbled while crossing your arms

"Mhm, whatever you say" Removing his arm from your shoulder, Kazutora straightens up and glances in your direction.

"Anyway, I'm gonna go mingle, see how the rest are doing"

"Toooora no don't leave mee" You whined, grabbing onto his arm, not wanting to be left alone.

"I'll come back in a bit" Ruffling your hair before walking off into the crowd.

Sighing again, you glanced around. Observing how everyone was dressed and acted. Seems like people watching was going to be your past time to get you through this nightmare.

And then you saw him, and it was as if time had sopped.

you felt yourself sweating profusely, and you felt sick to your stomach.

There he was, your organizational behaviour, teacher.

He seemed to have spotted you as well, seeing as he was making his way to you.

'Crap, shit, fuck, no'

turning around you sped off, trying to walk as fast as humanly possible in your uncomfortable shoes, to find Kazutora or literally any one of your friends.

Why were you running away from your professor?

Because he was an old, creepy as fuck, perverted, pedophile. Now you were over 18, not a minor but he still gave off pedo vibes. Hitting on you shamelessly over dms? and asking about your feet? No fucking thank you. He was married and had kids your age for christ’s sake.

Your heart was beating so fast and hard you felt as if anyone within a 5 ft radius could hear it.

This wasn't good, you were panicking, it was getting hard to breathe.

Being so wrapped up in your thoughts, you didn’t notice a man in front of you, you didn’t notice that you bumped into said man and you didn’t notice the drink you spilled from when you bumped into him.

“Hey, fuckin’ watch it!” a raised voice, bellows out at the impact and spilt alcohol.

Looking in front of you, feeling embarrassed.

“Oh, god I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to” You rambled, still very much in a panic. Glancing up to look at who you bumped into and inevitably spilled your drink on, you froze.

Pink hair pulled up into a ponytail, identical scars on both sides of his mouth, long-ass eyelashes that’d make any girl jealous and piercing blue eyes.

He was beautiful and pissed. A hot horrible combination.

With the panicking and fear from trying to escape your professor, you could start to feel the prick of tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

The man’s anger turned to confusion from noticing your panicked state, and the wetness of your eyes.

“Whoa hey, you good?” He tilted his head to the side slightly, looking down at you.

Gulping you looked back to see your professor close, really close.

Without thinking you link your arms with his.

“I’m really sorry about this, but could you pretend to be my boyfriend or something, please?”

Desperation was written all over your face as you stared into his eyes.

“Hah?” He was about to pull away from you.

“I’m begging you, I’ll do anything and explain afterwards just please” You were pleading at this point.

For some reason, the man felt compelled to help you out, letting out a grumbled ‘fine��

Grabbing you by your waist, he brings you in closer.

Trying to keep a straight face and blush from the close contact.

Looking away you notice your professor walking away from the two of you.

Letting out a deep breath you didn’t know you were holding in, instantly feeling more relaxed and feeling your heart calm down. Feeling so relieved that your professor had left made you almost forget that you were in the arms of the tall handsome man. Keyword almost.

Nervously looking up, you see him already looking down at you.

“You seem relaxed now, mind telling me what that was about?” unamused, he raised an eyebrow.

“Well you see, it’s kind of a long story. So long story short, I was running away from my creepy professor, he just can’t take a hint.” You glance down a bit, playing with your fingers. Even talking about him made your skin crawl.

“So you thought that if he saw you with some other guy he’d leave you alone?”

“Yeah…” you mumbled quietly, causing him to sigh.

Feeling his hand on your lower back to guide you to walk with him, you looked up at him in surprise and let out a quiet noise of shock.

“Let’s walk and talk, yeah?” Sensing the look of confusion you were giving him her elaborated.

“If he’s still gonna be at this lame-ass party, then he’ll eventually see you alone again. Stick with me until the end. I’m done with that mingling shit anyway.” He took his hand off of your lower back and opted to just hold your hand, not wanting to invade your personal bubble too much.

“Name’s Sanzu by the way, what about you pretty girl?” Letting out a wide grin, scars stretching with it.

“Pretty girl? Don’t know who you’re talking to there, but my name’s (y/n)” A subtle blush dusting your cheeks at the compliment. “But no seriously Thank you so much for this, I don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t bump into you.”

“Don’t you have friends that you could’ve gone to?”

“I do but I have no idea where they went”

“Hmmm I see”

Remembering how you spilled your drink on him earlier you quickly stopped walking to turn to him.

“ Again I’m really sorry for bumping into you and spilling my drink!”

“Hm? Oh, don’t worry about it” He waved you off with an easygoing smirk. Smiling back at him, maybe coming to this party wasn’t so bad after all.

Without any warning, Sanzu grabbed your hand and brought it up to his lips, kissing your fingers. Making your face burn red, feeling hot.

“Sanzu, What are you doing?” You squeaked.

“Creepy prof is staring, so let’s give him a show”

“Huh?”

Bringing you even closer, your brain screamed at you to push him away but you couldn’t. You reasoned it was because your professor was watching and you had to put up an act, surely it was because of that, right?

Cradling your face with one hand, you could feel his breath fan across your face.

“Sorry for making you uncomfortable here, doll”

“No, no it’s okay” You were mesmerized with his eyes, You felt hot and nervous but in a good way?

“You said you’d do anything for my help, right” gulping you nodded, you realize that those were not the best words to have used, but in a state of panic what else could you have said.

“I hear there’s a bar with a wild party going on, on one of the upper levels. Wanna ditch this place and talk about my prize there?” He grinned and for some reason, you were compelled to say yes.

[rise-deepseamonster]

Why do you hate acotar so much??? It was a pretty good series...

Sure the last two books weren't really good but the original triology was great

Ah I've been waiting for someone to give an opening question to my inevitably long discourse on this topic.

Here we go.

Firstly, the plot.

Too many holes, too many unnecessary things put together in trying to give “romantic” circumstances for the characters. Besides, if more than one character gets resurrected per series, u know the author is trying to overdo the sentimentality thing and its gets kinda tiring. Like cmon, give Death some sanctity.

Next, a lot of the terrible things that the main characters do are being portrayed as good deeds. I love it when the characters make terrible choices and regret them or feel ashamed and want to take them back or something etc etc but blatantly doing something terrible and not really giving it a second thought and showing it under good light as though people really deserve that kind of thing... I love badass girls but they’re only badass when they do things that are actually badass in defence of things that are either morally correct or enabling the public and basically heroism is badass, not just doing something cunning and petty for the sake of revenge or because you can’t think of a better way to do things. (Im talking about trying to hoodwink Tarquin by “seducing” him and trashing Spring Court for petty revenge and not thinking of the bigger things like war and the people and Rhys condoning it and not thinking it bad at all. Is it really love if you’re going to be blind to all of one’s mistakes? I think its obsession)

Also whats with the constant seduction technique shown by all the women? Really? Is there no other way to practice deceit than with lust? This is the sign of an unimaginative narrative. It’s stupid and it is blatant objectification and also plain boring. Not to mention, cringe-y. Not only do they practice this seduction method for getting what they want from allies and enemies, they use it as a “distraction” and a “show” for their own people in the Court of Nightmares. I can’t even begin with how sick it is to even think of portraying one self as rulers of a place and just... is it just me or does no one see something wrong with all the sexualization of women in this book? Is it just normally accepted now to have sex left and right as though sex is the bedrock of a relationship? 

Which is what I’d like to come to next. All the relationships in this book are built on lust and sexual tension with literally no other element. From the very beginning whether it be Nessian or Feysand, both are just pining over each other sexually. Maybe thats just me being demi or a prude or whatever but really? Is that what people want for themselves these days? What people idolize as a perfect relationship? 

Next, Lucien. He’s is basically the nicest character in the entire series and he’s ill-treated by everyone always and when he goes on to find friends in another circle Feyre looks at him as though its a betrayal. The Inner Circle is a friend group which is basically just 3 lusty bachelors, their girlfriends, their sisters and Amren, who joined mainly because she saw the power offered by that court and the vision of a better world there. (Maybe if she had met Tarquin and maybe if Summer Court had been closer to the Prison maybe she’d be there) 

Next, the relationship between Feyre and her sisters. We were robbed of a true healing between them. The author made it look as though Nesta was merely healing from her trauma of her mother dying. Oh so there was nothing else to heal? Years of resentment between the sisters on both sides? You save a baby and miraculously all is ok? That is not how feelings work. Thats not how relationships work especially with sisters who had a mother who showed favoritism. Trust me when I say there is always a scar left behind for that and it can only be healed when you actually work through it together, not go on a sex binge with your sister’s brother-in-law. (seriously there is no other chemistry from Nesta’s side though; even Cassian looks at her at first cuz shes pretty...ugh im just frustrated with all of these lusty relationships with insubstantial chemistry). There is also a prevailing sentiment where people are defending Nesta’s actions towards Feyre during their years of poverty as a result of her trauma. Just so everyone is clear, trauma is not an excuse to do terrible things like letting one’s sister go off on her own to defend the family from starvation all the while putting her down. So yes, Nesta was traumatized but no way in hell is that an excuse. Elain is also at extreme fault. And their father. Seriously what kind of a family lets the youngest daughter go out to feed them and treats her like shit when she comes back? That isnt just trauma thats just complacency and superiority born of supreme arrogance and indifference. There is no way in hell you actually care about your sister in ANYWAY one should care about their sister if you’re going to let her hunt for food AND do everything else around the house all while you insult her and sit and listen as your other sister insults her. And all that was offered as an apology was “Yes we are both equally at fault”. Pathetic. I would’ve been ok if there had actually been a proper healing arc. Hell I would’ve been ok if Nesta never reconciled and went to live off on her own and lived happily ever after. But what I cannot accept is this half-baked shit as though healing from her trauma is making things up to her sister. I might sound cruel in this but girl, trauma is UR problem, not ur sisters’, she deserves a fucking apology at the fucking least.

Lastly, the ending feels like a hastily made, over-ingredient-ified porrige-cross-stew. Literally, she just went like oh look I got this terrible monster I met, oh guess what I got this terrible monster too. Without even damning consequences. No consequence at all, these old as hell creatures just came and did your bidding? For releasing them from their prisons and asking them nicely? The entire book, you’re going on about how the world is cruel and terrible and suddenly all the big bad monsters are actually puppy dogs without a price? Feels incomplete to say the least and unsatisfying.

The other things are very minimal representation (also Mor bores me. 500 years is a damn long time to keep somebody constantly pining. She doesn’t have to come out. She just has to let him down. But then again, Azriel has to have gotten a hint over the past 500 years. He’s a fucking spymaster. I mean just think about it. You pine over a girl and the girl knows you like them and she has been constantly ignoring it for 500yrs and I think at one point it goes from persistence to entitlement. Remember when Mor says he gets confused now and then over the fact that she sleeps with men and women? Does that mean he thinks theres a chance for him just because she sleeps with men? Even if she did, she has rejected you for 500yrs! It’s time to let it the fuck go.)

I’m sure I can think of more reasons but honestly the more I think of this series the more I feel this savage instinct to deck someone. I think the main thing that aggravates me is that I honestly feel its a good start but it has been supremely messed up in the writing and the character representation. Like bad plot? Just drop the book. But good start to the story, you like it and then suddenly all the characters act so damn weird and sick and artificial and the plot goes off the rails. Thats like constantly picking a scab and trying to see all the places it unsettles. Terrible for the mind. So I hope that whoever reads this series next actually thinks about what kind of content they’re letting live rent free in their mind. If you’re still with me, thank you for reading my rant till the end!

[fortheloveofwonderland]

Ask the Stars [Spencer Reid x fem! Reader]

Find my masterlist here. Requests are Open.

Requested: Yes l No

A/N: I’ve had this idea floating around for a while and finally decided to write it and it flowed liked nobodies business! I LOVED writing this so I hope you enjoy reading it. Special thanks to the angel @dreatine who gave me the title for this fic and showing me the beautiful song the title is from (lyrics for which can be found throughout). Set pre-BAU.

CW: swearing, drinking, mutual pining, friends to lovers, age gap between consenting adults, virgin! Spencer, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, fingering, groping. I think that’s everything!

Plot: growing up together, best friends Spencer and the reader have always been secretly in love with one another. But a night together under the stars might be too little too late and with Spencer moving to DC and you to Idaho, that one night may be all you ever get.

WC: 12.2K

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Ask the stars up in the sky,

Ask the stars they’ll tell you why.

Stars know ev’ry little thing you do,

There’s a little star that’s watching you.

Ask the stars when you’re with me,

Ask the stars then watch and see.

Las Vegas, Nevada - 2003

Spencer didn’t think he would have made it through the last ten years of his life and been where he was now if it hadn't been for the family next door.

He was just twelve years old when they’d moved in, struggling to cope with high school bullies and his mom's schizophrenia all on his own.

They would help out with his mom in any way they could, they had him round for dinner when it was too tough for him to go home and they took him along on their annual camping trips every year.

They had been there for him when he’d had to have his mom committed when he was eighteen. They were kind, friendly people. They treated Spencer like their own son.

He liked to pretend when he was with them that they were his family. He liked to play pretend, that he had a loving father and a mom who wasn’t sick.

He lived in a fantasy world whenever he was with them.

But Spencer’s favourite part about the family next door by far, was their daughter, Y/N.

You were four years Spencer’s junior, just an adorable eight year old when you’d moved in next door to the young genius and his mother. The two of you had grown up together and somewhere along the way attraction and feelings developed.

Of course neither one of you had ever said as much. You were best friends, you didn’t want to risk destroying that by confessing your feelings for him.

And besides, at the end of the summer the two of you were going your separate ways; you were off to college in Idaho and Spencer was moving to DC for his illustrious new job at the FBI.

This was the last chance the two of you had to spend time together before everything inevitably changed. So maybe going on a camping trip with your parents at eighteen was a little lame. But there was one reason and one reason alone you were going on the trip.

Spencer Reid.

***

Just as you were lugging the last of your bags out of the front door, you heard the front gate creak open.

Your eyes shot up and landed instantly on his as he slipped through the gate.

You immediately dropped the bag on the floor and were dashing down the front steps and down the path.

“Spence!” You squealed, running at him at speed.

He caught you in his arms and the two of you almost went tumbling back to the concrete but he managed to steady you both.

“Whoa Y/N,” he laughed, wrapping you tightly in his arms. “I missed you too.”

You clung to your best friend, breathing in his scent. He’d only been gone two months finishing up his third PhD, but it felt like forever.

The last few years Spencer’s studies had taken him away from Vegas much more than you would have both liked. He’d missed the last two family camping trips and they had been so dull without him.

You were so happy to have him back for one last trip.

“It’s so good to see you.” You smiled, pulling back from the hug to get a proper look at him. Of course over the years you’d memorised every sculpted curve of his face, those sharp cheekbones, deep set eyes and sinfully plump lips but you would never tire of looking at him.

“Y/N, Spencer, it’s time to go!” Your mom hollered from the street, breaking you out of your thoughts.

“Give me a hand with my bag?”

“Of course.” He smiled, following up the path to the house.

You felt lighter when Spencer was around, like all of your worries and fears just melted away.

You had no idea how you would cope with him in DC while you were in Idaho. But that was a problem for another day.

For now you were just revelling in Spencer’s presence.

***

Admittedly camping with your parents was never a terrible experience. Your dad was the outdoorsy type, your mom was not. So they compromised.

Yes you were in the woods but your mom would not allow sleeping in rustic tents. Every year she booked up the most glamorous of tents for your stays. Wood flooring, real beds, even nightstands and lamps.

So technically you were sleeping in a tent, but it was just as comfortable, if not more so than your bedroom at home. The site was equipped with showers and real toilets. It wasn’t really like camping at all.

“Oh Spencer sweetie,” your mom called to him as you were unpacking the car several hours of driving later.

“Yes?” He looked up at her with a smile.

“Did Y/N tell you, we weren’t able to book three pods this year, I must have called late. I hope it’s ok for the two of you to share?”

Wow. Your mom was a better liar than you pegged her to be.

Even your dad seemed to fall for it.

When she’d told you a few days ago, you’d seen right through it.

You knew your mom had known for a long time of your crush on your genius neighbour. She’d probably known before even you did.

So you didn’t question it when she’d told you she’d only been able to book two camping pods, but you were sure your blush gave away exactly what you thought about it.

“Uhm yeah I guess that’s fine.” He shrugged and was that a blush you saw spreading to his cheeks? “I’ve got my sleeping bag, I can just sleep on the floor.”

Not if I have anything to do with it, you thought but his response seemed to appease your father.

Once Spencer went back to emptying the bags from the car your mom gave you a look and a small smirk.

You tried not to blush. Your mom had always been pretty cool for a mom and you had never been more grateful for that until right now.

You finished unpacking the car and took your stuff to your allocated tent to change before heading down to the lake.

Spencer took some clothes to the toilets to change and you spent longer than was necessary picking out the perfect bathing suit.

The last time Spencer had seen you in a bathing suit was two years ago and boy had your body changed in two years. You couldn’t wait to show it off to him.

You just hoped he liked what he saw.

***

Thankfully Spencer had already dived into the water before you took off your summer dress and unsheathed the glorious body you were hiding underneath the fabric.

The water made for a great way to hide the erection that almost immediately grew when he saw you in that bathing suit.

He tried not to look at you, mostly because your parents were there and he was sure they wouldn’t be happy with him gawking over their daughter.

But he was in essence, a cold blooded male. He’d had a crush on you for about as long as he could remember, you’d grown up together, surely it was only inevitable?

But you were his best friend. You were the only real friend he’d ever had. And he didn’t want to ruin that by sexualising you. But god that would be so much easier to do if you weren’t so damn hot.

When had you stopped being the adorable girl next door who used to play with her pony toys in the front yard? When did you become this drop dead gorgeous woman standing before him in a scantily clad bathing suit?

You had changed since the last time he’d seen you in so little clothes. You’d developed curves in what Spencer thought was all the right places.

You looked up and your eyes met his and you gave him a bright smile that made him feel a little weak. You walked to the edge of the lake and he couldn’t tear his eyes away from you.

You walked with poise, a sense of a confidence Spencer could never muster. He watched as you dove into the water so gracefully, and re-emerge a few feet in front of him.

You pushed your wet hair off your face and waded closer to him, wiping the water from your eyes.

Spencer felt a lump forming in his throat the closer you got. His eyes betrayed him and they fell to your chest, the water droplets rolling over your skin shimmered in the sun.

How I want to lick those beads of water off your skin.

“You ok?” You laughed, coming to a stop in front of him.

“M-me? Y-yes why wouldn’t I b-be.” He stuttered at the close proximity he now found himself in to you. He could reach out and touch you. He could reach out and kiss you.

He did neither.

“Come here,” he raised your hands out of the water. “Your hair is going to get in your eyes.”

You gently stroked a strand of Spencer’s wet hair out of his face and it sent a shiver racing up his spine.

His cock was aching. He’d never been touched by a woman in such a way. He’d never been touched by a woman in any way and honestly it felt like he could blow his load just from you stroking back his hair.

“Much better.” You smiled at him, leaving him feeling a little downtrodden when you withdrew your hand.

“Uh thanks.” He croaked, feeling light headed.

“You’re welcome.”

For a moment the two of you stared at each other, eyes locked as though communicating subconsciously.

Spencer wanted to grab hold of you and kiss you like there was no tomorrow. He wanted to pull you close and feel your body pressed up against his own, run his fingers over your every curve.

He wanted his hands to get lost in your hair. He wanted to bury himself between your thighs. He wanted to feel you, to taste you.

Honestly you were thinking the same, he just didn’t know it. His white t-shirt cling to his skin now soaked in water and you could just make out the soft skin of his chest underneath. You wanted to run your hands over that skin, through his hair, over every part of his body.

You wanted to feel him inside of you, his fingers, his cock, anything. You wanted to stare deep into his eyes while he made you come.

All of a sudden Spencer snapped out of his trance before he did something to make a fool of himself.

“I’ll race you to the next dock!” He dove beneath the surface before you had time to register his words.

You watched him go, splashing a lot as he swam, gangly limbs flailing.

It took you a few seconds to pick your mind up out of the gutter and start swimming after him.

Being the much more adept swimmer, despite Spencer’s head start you managed to beat him to the next dock.

He was much more out of breath than you when he arrived.

“How did you get into the FBI again?” You laughed as he gripped hold of the dock for dear life.

“They ultimately had to make exceptions to allow me into the field.” He panted.

“Clearly.” You teased. “Ohh and look, we’re right by the jet ski hire!” You pulled yourself up on the dock and sat on the edge looking down at Spencer.

“You know I hate those things. Did you know there are around seven hundred jet ski related accidents every year which results in approximately forty deaths? I don’t like those odds, I’ll wait on the dock.”

He tried and failed to get out of the water and in the end you had to help hoist him up.

“No way, you're coming with me.” You stood up and pulled him to his feet as well.

“I most certainly am not.” He made the mistake of looking into your eyes. Those beautiful expressive eyes that could probably make him commit murder.

“Please?” You asked softly and he was like putty in your hands.

“F-fine.” He grumbled.

“Yay!” You squealed a little, throwing yourself into his arms.

Your body pressed up against his and he tentatively wrapped his arms around you.

Your wet bathing suit and his wet t-shirt clung to each other and he could feel your every curve.

Thankfully you pulled away before he got too excited. You took hold of his hand now and started leading him towards the hire booth.

Honestly he’d let you lead him anywhere.

***

Spencer was still shaking almost ten minutes after pulling up in the small alcove a way up the lake and dismounting the jet ski.

He’d enjoyed the close proximity with you it had involved but it didn’t make up for the sheer terror of your haphazard driving.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” You laughed staring down at him as he laid on the grass.

“All I’ll say is, if you drove a car like that I would never let you drive me anywhere.”

“It’s a jet ski Einstein, they are supposed to go fast.” You nudged his ribs with your toe. “Get up, we need to head back.”

“I would literally rather swim back.” He groaned.

You rolled your eyes, nudging his ribs again.

“It’s probably almost a mile back, don’t be so dramatic.” You leant over him and took hold of his hands, pulling him into a sitting position. “How about you drive? That way we can go at a granny pace.”

“Funny.” He grumbled, getting to his feet. “But I will drive actually. I’d rather not die of a heart attack on this lake.”

You slid the rubber band over your hand that the key dangled from and tossed it at Spencer.

He flapped about trying to catch it and just managed to stop it falling to the floor.

You got in your positions on the jet ski. You wrapped yourself tighter around him than was necessary, your arms snaking around his waist and resting on his stomach.

Spencer shuddered but he hoped you would think it was due to the wind.

It could have been the wind but the timing seemed a little too convenient. Did your touch really have that effect on him? He’d never given you any indication that he liked you in that way, but could it be possible? Maybe you would have to test that out.

Spencer took a tentative breath and started the jet ski’s engine. You tightened your hold on him as it started moving.

Spencer was slow to start with just like you had assumed he would be. It was quite nice actually. You had a chance to revel in the way the water felt as it splashed onto your bare legs, the way the wind felt in your hair.

But mostly you were wrapped up in the way it felt to be this close to Spencer.

You pressed your chest into your back, making sure he could feel your breasts on him. You started by gently moving your fingers over the fabric of his t-shirt, round in little circles on his stomach.

As he picked up the speed a little you dared to let your fingers drop a little lower, over his hip bones. You felt him tense a little but due to the sound of the jet ski you didn’t hear the way his breath hitched at your touch.

You moved your hands again, your fingers gently grazing the waistband of his swim shorts.

Spencer practically jumped at your touch so near his crotch and he inadvertently swerved sharply, so sharply that it sent the two of you flying off the seat and crashing into the water.

The engine cut off when the key attached around Spencer’s wrist was yanked out with him.

You both broke the surface, spluttering a little.

“What the hell Spencer?” you pushed your hair back off your face. “Why did you do that?”

Because you have no idea how long I have wanted you to touch me like that.

“You uh...your...I don’t know. I just lost control I guess.” he didn’t want to tell you that your touch had sent him into a tailspin and he had completely lost his focus.

But you had a pretty good idea that was what had happened. And if that was the case, why? Why had your touch affected him in that way? Surely he did not feel for you the way you felt about him?

It couldn’t be possible. But it surely did seem that way.

“I’ll drive the rest of the way.” you told him, rather than pushing him. You didn’t want to make him uncomfortable.

But you might have to test this more, maybe on stable ground.

You both climbed back up onto the jet ski, Spencer slightly less gracefully than you, and he handed you over the key.

You made it back to the jet ski hire with no further incident and Spencer was happy to be back on dry land. Although he did miss the closeness the jet ski brought.

“I need to use the bathroom, I’ll be right back ok?” Spencer told you while you returned your life vests.

“Sure, I’ll be here.” you gave him a soft smile.

He couldn’t help but give your body a once over again, it was accidental, he couldn’t stop himself. The feeling of your fingers on his waistband and your chest pressed up against his back were imprinted in his mind and by the time he reached the bathroom he was hard again.

Making sure there was no one else in the bathroom he shut himself in one of the cubicles. He leant against the closed door and exhaled a shaky breath.

It wouldn’t be the first time he had touched himself while thinking of you but this seemed dirty. This wasn’t the comfort of his own bedroom where no one would catch him.

But he knew he needed to take care of this otherwise it would plague him all day.

With another shaky breath he relieved himself from his swim shorts. He closed his eyes, taking his length in his hand and started stroking himself. He bit his lip hard to stem his moans as he pictured you in that sinful bathing suit.

He imagined your fingers moving from his waistband inside his pants and tried to imagine it was your fingers wrapped around him.

He was panting and mumbling your name in no time and it didn’t take long at all for him to come.

He cleaned himself up as well as the tiled floor he had dirtied before using the facilities and heading back outside.

God he hoped you wouldn’t see his deed written all over his face, he would be mortified.

But by the looks of it, you were too busy to notice anything.

The guy putting the moves on you was shorter than Spencer but much more broad and muscular. He had sun kissed skin and beach blonde hair. He had a charming smile and it was clearly working its magic on you.

Spencer approached slowly, you didn’t seem to notice. As he reached your side the man looked over at him with a frown.

“Can we help you?” he asked Spencer.

“Spence, hi.” you smiled at him before turning all your attention back on the other man. “Greg, this is my best friend Spencer. Spencer, this is Greg.”

Best friend, of course, because that’s how you saw him. Friends. Only ever friends.

You hadn’t had any intention of talking to someone while Spencer was gone but when Greg had approached you, you engaged in friendly conversation.

He was attractive, sure, but in your eyes he had nothing on Spencer.

But there was something in Spencer’s eyes that looked a lot like jealousy. Maybe you could use Greg to your advantage?

“Greg invited us to a party at the lake tonight.” you spoke when neither man said anything.

“I actually invited you to a party.” Greg corrected you.

“Oh.” Spencer squeaked a little.

“I’m only coming if Spencer does.” You told Greg with a seductive smile.

Greg smiled at you and stepped a little closer.

“How can I say no to a face like yours.” He ran his finger over your cheek and Spencer wanted to smack him. “I’ll see you tonight babe.” He winked at you before sauntering away.

“He seems like a complete jackass.” Spencer grumbled once Greg was out of ear shot.

“You didn’t even speak to him.” You frowned at your friend.

“Neither did you, not really. I was only gone five minutes. I don’t think we should go to that party.”

“And why not?” You folded your arms over your chest.

“Because we don’t know him. He could be some creep for all we know.”

“I don’t think that’s what’s bothering you.” You stepped closer to Spencer making him swallow. “Are you jealous Spencer?”

“W-what?” He croaked. “Jealous? W-why would I be j-jealous?”

It was written all over his face. He was jealous.

“I don’t know Spence, you tell me.” You stepped even closer to him now, so close he could feel your breath on his face.

You let your hands drop to your side.

“Do you want me for yourself Spencer? Because you know all you’d have to do is ask.”

Good god, what are you doing to me?

Of course he wanted you all to himself, it’s all he’d ever wanted. But that didn’t change the fact you were his best friend and you were moving to different states.

Telling you he wanted you was completely pointless.

“Of course not.” He tried to scoff, forcing himself to step back away from you. “If you want Greg that’s fine by me.”

“Fine.” You spat.

“Fine.” Spencer mirrored.

And with that you turned on your heels and stormed away.

Maybe you’d been wrong after all. Of course Spencer didn’t like you. What a stupid thought that had been.

***

That night your dad allowed you and a very reluctant Spencer to use his car to head back to the lake and meet Greg and his friends.

You and Spencer hadn’t said much of anything to each other since that afternoon but if your parents had noticed they didn’t say anything.

You felt foolish for thinking he could have possibly been jealous. Of course there was no way the brilliant Spencer Reid looked at you that way. There was no way he would deem you smart enough or interesting enough.

It had clearly all been in your head. Or so you thought.

But of course it hadn’t.

Spencer had wanted to scream at you that of course he was jealous and of course he wanted you all to himself, but he didn’t want to make a fool of himself. There was no way he was confessing his feelings for you. He’d done a good job of keeping them hidden up until now and he certainly wasn’t going to let Greg be the reason he told you.

He would take his feelings for you to the grave. It was easier that way. It was easier than ruining your friendship.

You drove to the lake in stifled silence. Normally small talk wasn’t an issue for the two of you, you could talk about anything and everything for hours on end. But for the first time, neither of you had anything to say to one another.

Thankfully it wasn’t a long drive to the lake and you pulled up soon enough and exited the car as soon as you shut off the engine.

Spencer sighed loudly once alone in the car. This was the last time the two of you would be together in god knows how long and you were in a fight already on the first day of the trip.

He didn’t think the two of you had ever fought, not properly anyway. Was this a fight? Spencer wasn’t even sure. He hoped not. He spent a few minutes alone in the car just collecting himself.

He got out of the car and followed in your footsteps. You were already down by a bonfire near the lake edge with none other than Greg. Greg had his arm around your shoulders as he handed you a bottle of beer which you took with a smile.

Spencer took a deep breath before heading towards you. He really didn’t want to be a third wheel with the two of you but he also didn’t have the kind of confidence it took to go and talk to new people.

Third wheel it is.

“Hi,” you barely acknowledged him as he joined you and Greg and if Spencer wasn’t mistaken you moved your body closer to Greg.

He gave you a half-smile and nodded in Greg’s direction.

“Can I get you a beer?” Greg asked him.

“No thanks. One of us is going to have to drive back and looks like that’s going to be me.” Spencer shrugged, trying not to sound annoyed but he clearly did because he saw you roll your eyes.

“Want to take a walk Greg?” you smiled at the other man who gave your shoulders a squeeze as he eyed you up and down.

“I would love that.” he chuckled and before Spencer knew it he was leading you away from him.

It had been all of two minutes and you had already abandoned him. Great.

He turned away from the lake and started back up towards the car assuming he would just wait for you there while you were off doing god knows what with Greg.

He made his way towards the car but didn’t get very far before someone ran into him, knocking him to the floor.

“Ow.” he groaned as he hit the ground, someone landing roughly on top of him.

“Oh my gosh, I am so, so sorry!” she pushed herself off of him, standing up before holding out a hand to help him.

Spencer took it and allowed the stranger to pull him to his feet.

“I was chasing after a frisbee and I wasn’t looking where I was going. Are you ok?” she was smiling sweetly at him and Spencer couldn’t help but think it was a very pretty smile.

Maybe not as pretty as yours but pretty in its own right.

“It’s ok.” he told her, shaking it off. “These things happen. I’m uh...I’m Spencer.”

She smiled again and nodded.

“Rose.” she replied. “Would you care to join me for a drink Spencer?”

“You know what?” Spencer smiled. “I don’t mind if I do.”

***

You and Greg had walked further up the lake and found a spot near the water's edge to sit. It didn’t take long before his lips were on yours and his fingers were in your hair.

It was...nice. It was nothing special but it was ok. And you couldn’t help but wish it was Spencer’s lips pressed against your own.

When Greg’s hands moved from your hair down to your breasts, palming them through your top a little roughly, you pushed him back.

“Nuh uh.” you shook your head frowning at him. “I don’t think so.”

“Oh come on babe, we’re just having a little fun.”

“We can have fun without you groping me.” you picked up your beer bottle and swigged from it.

“I didn’t peg you as a prude Y/N.” he raised an eyebrow at you.

“Because I’m not. I prefer the term selective.” you scoffed.

He didn’t take your reluctance as a no however and he moved in again, his lips latching on to your neck and his hand finding your thigh.

He moved his hand higher up your bare leg, over your denim shorts and soon his fingers were toying with the button.

Once again you pushed him, harder than before.

“Hey asshole.” you spat. “I said no.”

He rolled his eyes, picking up his own beer, downing the contents and then tossing it away.

“You’re a drag.” he groaned. “Is this because of that pipe cleaner friend of yours?”

“No.” you pushed yourself up from the ground, grabbing your beer. “This has nothing to do with Spencer. I just don’t like pushy men who think they’re god's gift to women.”

You turned away from him and started back towards the bonfire you could see burning brightly in the distance.

“Girls like you are a dime a dozen.” he called after you.

You flipped him the bird over your shoulder but you didn’t turn back to look at him.

“Asshole.” you muttered to yourself.

You should have listened to Spencer, he’d always been a good judge of character. Maybe you’d have to apologise to him.

You made your way back to the bonfire to find him and make up but you didn’t have to look far.

He was sitting on one of the logs next to the fire but he wasn’t alone.

He had a petite redhead sitting in his lap, her arms wrapped around his neck. And her lips were hungrily exploring his.

“Oh god.” you felt like you’d just been kicked in the chest, like all the air had been forced from your lungs.

You lost your grip on the beer bottle and it fell to the ground.

His hands were gently on her hips, holding her place while he explored her mouth.

Your tears came out of nowhere, alarming you as they started heavily cascading down your cheeks.

Just as a sob wracked your body, you took off running up the bank and towards the car.

You couldn’t watch anymore. Seeing Spencer kiss that girl made your heart feel like it was shattering into a thousand tiny pieces.

You got back in the car and sobbed. Every time you closed your eyes, all you could see was Spencer and that girl, locking lips.

And all you could think was, it should be me.

***

“Sorry if that was really forward of me.” Rose blushed a little when the kiss ended.

Spencer was blushing too, but he had been since their lips first touched.

“I-it’s o-ok.” he stuttered, completely baffled by what had just happened. “I-it was n-nice.”

“I hope it was a little more than nice.” Rose giggled.

But it wasn’t. It was simply nice. It was a nice kiss but it wasn’t with you. He’d kissed girls before but it never felt quite right. And he knew it was because he wasn’t kissing you.

He didn’t speak, he couldn’t find the right words to say.

Rose’s face fell a little and she slid off Spencer’s lap onto the log next to him.

“I know that look.” she chewed her lip. “That’s the look of a guy who is thinking about someone else.”

He wanted to argue with her but it seemed pointless.

“I’m sorry.” He shrugged pathetically. “You’re beautiful and you have no idea how much I wish I wasn’t thinking about someone else. But I am. I always am.”

“It’s ok.” She placed her hand gently on his knee. “It was nice to meet you Spencer.” She pushed herself up from the log.

“You too Rose.” He stood too, needing to find you before you did anything stupid with Greg.

Just as he had this thought, Greg came wandering towards the bonfire alone.

“Where’s Y/N?” Spencer rushed over to him.

“How should I know?” Greg scoffed. “That girl is a cock tease. Not worth my time.”

“Don’t say that.” Spencer practically whined, making Greg chuckle.

“What are you gonna do about it?” Greg snarled at him.

“I uh...I need to find Y/N.” He changed the subject. He did not want to get into a fight because he would most certainly lose.

“Whatever.” Greg scoffed, turning away from Spencer.

Spencer scanned the crowds but couldn’t see you, he knew he’d be able to pick you out of any crowd.

He practically sprinted back to the car, hoping to find you there and as luck would have it, there you were in the driver's seat.

But even in the dark he could see that you were crying.

He ran to the passenger door and flung it open.

“Oh my god Y/N, what’s wrong?” He threw his arms around you, pulling you closer over the console.

“Get off me.” You pushed him away, sniffing back your tears.

“What’s wrong? What did Greg do?” He asked clearly not noticing your hostility towards him.

You sighed, not wanting to tell your best friend you were crying over seeing him kiss another girl, you shook your head, fixing your seatbelt in place.

“Nothing. I just want to forget all about tonight.” You started the engine.

“O-ok.” Spencer chewed his lip.

Neither of you spoke again on the drive back to the campsite or once you were back in your pod.

You slipped into the bed and Spencer in his sleeping bag on the floor.

Neither of you got much sleep that night, you both had too much on your mind. Namely, being in love with your best friends who were seemingly oblivious.

***

The next morning when you awoke you decided today was a new day. You weren’t going to allow yourself to spend the whole trip being mad at Spencer.

You’d never seen him with a girl before, it had been a shock. But he was twenty two, he must have had girlfriends before you guess he’d just chosen not to tell you. And it wasn’t as though you’d never been with a man.

You resided yourself to the fact that you and Spencer were destined to be friends and that was ok. At least it would be ok. It had to be.

You knelt down on the floor next to his sleeping bag and watched him for a second. He was sound asleep, his breathing soft and even. His plump lips were parted ever so slightly and his hair was draped over the pillow. His eyelashes grazed the skins under his eyes.

Maybe it would be a little harder than you thought to just see him as a friend.

Suddenly his eyes fluttered open and landed on you.

He frowned a little, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands.

“Uh...good morning.” He croaked, voice riddled with sleep. “Were you staring at me while I slept?”

“No.” You scoffed, standing back up. “I was just wondering if I could free your hand and put it in a glass of water, see if that peeing thing really works.” You started rummaging through one of your bags to hide your blush from Spencer.

“Mature.” He laughed a little as he sat up. “Hey Y/N, are you ok?”

You took a few deep breaths and turned back to him with a large, fake smile on your lips.

“I’m great.” You beamed. “Now get up sleepy head, we’re going for a hike!”

And with that you took your clothes and stepped over him, undoing the front of the tent pod and disappearing.

Spencer ran his fingers through his hair with a sigh.

He wished falling out of love with you was as easy as it had been falling in love with you.

Not being in love with his best friend would make his life so much easier. But life never was good to Spencer.

***

Spencer loved your family but you were all much more athletic than he could ever hope to be. After a five mile hike, Spencer was exhausted. Sweat made his shirt cling to his body and his hair stick to his forehead.

When your mom had suggested stopping for the picnic she had packed, he was more than happy to oblige.

He practically fell to the grass on his back, panting and sweating.

“If it wasn’t for that huge brain of yours there is no way you would have gotten into the FBI.” you laughed as you flopped down next to him.

“Be nice Y/N.” your mom scalded you to which you rolled your eyes.

Your mom set some food while your dad poured glasses of soda for you all. You spent an hour sitting in the sunshine eating while Spencer worked on getting his breath back.

They still had a five mile walk back.

Spencer found himself stealing glances at you as you ate, like he usually did. He never grew tired of watching you.

You were wearing cargo pants and a vest top. His eyes caressed the side of your neck and the curve of your shoulder and your collarbone. Your skin glistened a little from the heat.

His eyes grazed up to the side of your face and the stray strand of hair that fell onto your face. He wanted to lean in and tuck behind your ear but that seemed too intimate.

He must have been watching you for a long time because when he resurfaced from his thoughts your mom was packing up what was left of the picnic.

“Spence and I will make our way back.” You stood up and brushed down the back of your cargo pants.

“Don’t get lost.” You dad shot you a sarcastic look.

“We’ll be fine. Come on Spence.” You encouraged to which he stood too.

“See you later.” He waved at your parents before following where you had already started walking.

“Do you even know where you’re going?” He asked once he caught up with you.

“No idea.” You shrugged.

“Oh good, just what I want. To get lost in the woods with you.” He rolled his eyes.

“Yeah I’m sure you’d much rather get lost in the woods with that redhead from last night, right?” The bitterness was seeping from your words.

Spencer stopped in his tracks.

“Uh...what redhead?” He tried to lie, he didn’t know what you’d seen so he didn’t want to give away too much.

“Don’t play dumb Spencer.” You stopped too so you could look at him. “The one who was cosied up on your lap, eating your face.”

“Oh. That redhead.” He chewed his lip. “I uh...didn’t realise you saw that.”

“Well I did.” You shrugged. “Looked like you were having fun.”

“It w-was...she was nice I guess.”

“Good.” You spat a little more harshly than you’d meant to.

Spencer frowned, stepping closer to you, leaves crunching under foot.

“Are you annoyed?”

“What? No. Why would I be annoyed?” You scoffed, giving him your best eye roll.

“You seem annoyed.”

“Well I’m not.”

“Good. Because you wouldn’t have any right to be.” It was like he was poking a bear with a stick. He was trying to get a rise out of you.

“And why wouldn’t I?” It was working, you were rising to it.

“Because you left me alone while you went off to do god knows what with Greg. I had to pass the time somehow.”

“By sticking your tongue down some random girl's throat?”

“I’m sure you were doing much more with him.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” You growled, stepping closer to him now.

“You know exactly what that means.” He stepped closer to you too, as though you were challenging each other.

“You really think I was off fucking him?” You raised your voice. “Is that what you think of me?”

“Weren’t you?” He shrugged.

“I most certainly was not! He tried to get fresh with me and I pushed him away. He was a jackass! And then I come back to find you making out with that girl!”

“So you are annoyed about that?”

“Yes, happy? Yes I am annoyed about that.” You yelled.

Spencer closed the space between you but you stepped backwards away from him. He backed you into a tree where you collided with the bark.

He put his hands either side of your head pinning you in place.

Where had this side of him come from?

“Why are you annoyed Y/N?”

“I don’t know.”

“Yes you do.”

“No I don’t.” You tried to insist but you knew he could see right through you.

“Tell me. Tell me why you’re annoyed with me for Christ sakes Y/N! What did I do that was so wrong? I was just having some fun.”

“Without me.” You pouted.

“I can’t have fun without you?”

“No, it’s not that.” You shook your head, very conscious of how close Spencer was to you.

“So what is it then? Tell me.”

“I don’t like seeing you with another girl ok?” You raised your voice again.

“But I have to see you with another man?”

“I offered myself to you Spencer. I said all you had to do was ask. You said no. What was I supposed to think?”

“Y-you…you meant that?” His facade faltered and his hands fell to his sides.

“Of course I did.” You spat.

“You...you…” he swallowed.

“It should have been me you were kissing. Asshole.” You mumbled pathetically.

Spencer didn’t know what came over him at that moment but he couldn’t hold back.

He took your face in his hands and pushed you back against the tree trunk before pressing his lips to yours.

For a moment you kissed him back but then your anger returned and suddenly you were pushing him away.

“Stop it!” You yelled. “It’s too little too late Spencer. I don’t want to be your second choice. I don’t want you after she’s had you.”

“S-second choice? Y/N you could never be my-“

“Save it.” You pushed passed him and started walking again. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. We need to get back before it starts getting dark.”

You didn’t know what had come over you. All you’d ever wanted was to feel Spencer’s lips on yours. But when he kissed you, all you could think of was that redhead from last night.

And it broke your heart all over again.

***

“Spence?” You whispered into the dark. “Spence are you awake?”

It had been a long, awkward walk back followed by a long, awkward evening back at the campsite with your parents.

You and Spencer had said barely two words to each other before you called for an early night and crawled into your bed.

“Yeah I’m awake.” He whispered in reply from the floor.

“I’m...I’m really cold.” You felt foolish but you were freezing, you couldn’t seem to warm up.

And the only thing you could think that would help would be Spencer’s warm body next to you.

You heard him sigh followed by some rustling. Then you saw his silhouette beside the bed.

“You want me to warm you up?” He asked softly.

“If it’s not...too much to ask.” You didn’t deserve him being kind to you but that was the thing about Spencer, he was always there when you needed him. No matter what.

He sighed again before lifting the covers and sliding into the bed.

“Come here.” He held his arm open for you and you slid closer to him, his arm wrapping around your waist and you rested your head on his chest.

As suspected, he was radiating warmth. You snuggled into him sighing in content. He ran his fingers up and down your side.

“I’m sorry about earlier Y/N.” he spoke into your hair.

“Why are you sorry?”

“I shouldn’t have kissed you, not like that. It was wrong of me and I’m sorry.”

You shifted a little so you could look up at him.

“I’m the one who should be sorry, Spence. I shouldn’t have acted the way I did. I just...I don’t like the way I felt seeing you with that girl.”

“It didn’t feel great for me seeing you with Greg either.” he cupped your face with his free hand and stroked your cheek with his thumb.

“I don’t want to ruin our friendship, Spence.” a tear escaped your eye. “You’re my best friend and I don’t want to do anything to change that. But I can’t pretend that it didn’t hurt to see you with another girl. And I suppose that means I have feelings for you that go beyond friendship. But I can’t lose my best friend Spence.” a few more tears fell and Spencer tried to wipe them away with his thumb.

“I know Y/N, me too.” He agreed, chewing his lip.

You settled back into his chest and he tightened his hold on you. If this was as close as he could have you then he was going to soak in every moment.

Eventually you both fell asleep, into peaceful slumbers brought on by being wrapped in each other’s embraces.

***

For the rest of the week you and Spencer avoided unnecessary touches and glances each other’s way.

You tried to act normal. You tried to act like you hadn’t kissed and spent the night in each other’s arms.

You knew your parents suspected something was amiss with the two of you, you weren’t quite as pally as you usually were but neither of them said anything.

You spent days at the lake, you went for hikes and sat around the campfire in the evenings as the sunset around you.

On your final night your parents retired to their pod but you remained sitting on one of the logs, a blanket wrapped around your shoulders.

“Are you coming to bed?” Spencer asked you softly.

“Not yet, I might watch the stars for a while.”

“Want company?” He smiled at you and you nodded.

He laid his own blanket out of the ground and motioned for you to come over.

You laid side by side on your backs and you draped your blanket over the top of you both as you stared up at the sky.

“I can’t believe you’re leaving for DC when we get back.” You sniffed back any tears that might fall. “I have to spend the rest of the summer at home without you.”

“You’ll be off to college in a few weeks. You’ll forget all about me.”

You rolled your head to the side and he did the same so you were looking at each other.

“Spence, I could never forget you.” You reached for his hand and entwined your fingers.

He sighed in content at your touch. It was the most physical contact you’d had in almost a week.

“I’m going to miss you so much.” He gave your hand a gentle squeeze.

“I’m going to miss you too Spence.”

You laid like that under the stars, just staring into each other’s eyes for some time. There were so many things you both wanted to say but nothing seemed good enough.

Somehow you ended up closer together on the blanket, you’re not sure how it happened. You weren’t sure if you’d moved closer or if Spencer had or maybe you both had, but somehow you ended up with barely a few inches between your faces.

You could feel his soft breath on your face and you couldn’t tear your eyes away from his lips. That kiss had burned itself into your brain and you couldn’t believe you’d pushed him away before you got to really enjoy it.

“Spence,” you whispered after a long stretch of silence.

“Yes Y/N?”

“All you have to do is ask.” You repeated what you’d said to him at the lake your first day.

He knew exactly what you meant and it made his chest tighten at the mere thought.

“Y/N?” He whispered, edging even closer to you.

“Yes?”

“Can I...c-can I kiss you?” He stuttered.

“I’d be disappointed if you didn’t Spence.”

He let go of your hand so he could cup your cheek and slowly closed the small space between you.

This time when your lips met it was slow and soft. You revelled in the feeling of his plump, pillowy lips pressed against yours for a moment before you cautiously parted your lips.

Spencer was tentative in his movements as though you may push him away again at any moment.

But of course you didn’t. He slid his tongue in your mouth and started exploring you, slowly at first but soon an animal instinct took over.

He explored your mouth hungrily, holding your face delicately in his large hands. You wrapped your arms around his neck and helped him roll on top of you.

He was hard already, you could feel it pressing against you and you knew a kiss wasn’t going to be enough.

You played with his hair, tugging it a little and he moaned into your mouth, subconsciously grinding his hips into yours.

You dared to let your hands roam his back until you reached the hem of his hoodie and slipped your hands under the fabric.

He moaned again at the feeling of your hands on the skin of his back. It spurred you on to rake your nails lightly over his flesh. You were met with another hard roll of his hips.

The kiss ended so you could both gasp for the air that had left your lungs. Spencer chewed his lip nervously, scared of what might happen next.

“Should w-we uh...do you want to go into t-the tent?” he was so unsure of himself. He didn’t want to sound as though he was being presumptive.

“No,” you whispered, but you were smiling. “I want to stay out here.”

“B-but your parents…”

“Sleep like logs.” you laughed, stroking back his hair. “Spencer, I want you to make love to me under the stars. Do you think that’s something...something you can d-do?” you suddenly felt nervous telling him what you wanted. Maybe that’s not what he wanted? Maybe it was just a kiss?

But the hiss that slipped from his lips told you it was exactly what he wanted.

“I-I...there is n-nothing in the world I want m-more.” he swallowed. “B-but I...I’ve never...done this before.” his cheeks turned crimson in an instant.

Your heart swelled. You had no idea. You assumed Spencer was just quiet about his exploits. You had no idea he’d never been with a woman before.

“Oh,” you didn’t really know what to say. “Is this...have you ever pictured, you know, what your uh...first time would be like?”

His blush deepened and he gnawed heavily on his lip.

“All the time.” he confessed. “And it’s always with you.”

“Kiss me Spence.” you smiled at him, pulling him closer again by his neck.

Your lips met again but this time it was much more frantic and desperate, now you both knew exactly where this was going.

You hooked your fingers under the hem of his hoodie and pulled it up his body. He sat back so he could pull it over his head.

“T-shirt too.” you told him with a smirk while he was sat up.

He looked a little nervous but he complied. In all the years you’d known Spencer you didn’t think you’d ever seen him shirtless before. He was always conservative, insecure about how skinny he was. But in that moment he didn’t have time to worry about his insecurities, all he wanted was you and that was all that mattered.

He discarded the items of clothing, pulling the blanket tighter around his shoulders. Your eyes raked up and down his torso and soon your fingers followed suit, running over his flesh. He hissed again, telling you he liked it.

“W-what about you?” you swallowed nervously.

“What about me?” you smirked. You knew what he meant but you wanted to hear him say it.

“Y-you uh...can I...your dress?” he was blushing again and it was so adorable.

“Spencer, you can do whatever you like to me.” your voice was dripping with seduction and it made his cock twitch achingly. Oh how he’d dreamed of this moment.

His hands were shaking as he reached for the bottom of your dress. He was slow to raise the fabric, making sure you weren’t going to change your mind.

He inched it up your thighs and paused when he got it to your hips. The black pair of lace panties you wore underneath made his head spin.

“Oh gosh.” he panted a little as he spoke.

You smiled, arching your back so he could continue undressing you. Inch by inch the fabric got higher and higher, revealing more of your body.

Once you had discarded the dress, Spencer sat back again to take you all in. Your panties had a matching bra, cupping your breasts magnificently.

“Do you like what you see, Spence?”

“Are you kidding?” He smiled. “You are perfection Y/N.”

You raked your nails down his chest once more and came to a stop at the waistband of his trousers. You toyed with the button a little.

“Can I?” You whispered.

He chewed his lip and nodded.

You unbuttoned his trousers and tugged them over his hips. He wriggled out of them and tossed them in a pile with the rest of the clothes.

His cock was straining at the front of his boxers, begging to be freed.

You allowed yourself to palm him through his underwear. His head fell back and he moaned deeply.

“Oh gosh.” He panted. “I’m sorry, no ones ever touched me like this before.”

You smiled to yourself, loving that no other woman had been here before. But you could also tell if you were to touch him properly, he wouldn’t last to the main event.

You moved your hand to his wrist and guided his hand between your legs instead.

You panties were soaked already.

He looked at you with large, uncertain eyes, but you nodded in encouragement.

“Please Spencer?”

He swallowed.

“What if I’m no good.” He whined a little.

“It’s ok baby,” you cooed. “You could never make me feel anything other than amazing.”

You let go of his wrist and his fingers shakily played with the lace fabric.

He took a few deep breaths before he moved the fabric aside enough so he could get to your heat.

He was so cautious with his movements, trying to ensure he was doing everything right.

He’d read books. He’d watched porn. But he’d never had the real thing.

He started slow, circling your clit with his fingertip in gentle movements. It was enough to make several moans leave your parted lips and he took that as a good sign.

You pulled him down by his neck so you could kiss him again and his confidence built a little, moving his fingers faster between your legs.

“Oh god Spence,” you mumbled into his lips. “That feels so good baby.”

Spencer felt a swell of pride that he was able to make you feel good, but he wanted more, needed more.

“Y/N,” he panted. “C-can I...can we…”

“Yes Spence. God yes.” You kissed him again and he reluctantly removed his hand from between your legs.

You arched your back and unhooked your bra.

His mouth fell open at the sight of your breasts and he moaned viscerally.

You smiled, taking hold of both of his wrists now and placing his large hands on your breasts.

“F-fuck.” He moaned feeling you beneath his hands. “Jeez Y/N.”

You laughed, now working on sliding your panties down your legs.

Spencer gave your breasts a small squeeze, tweaking your nipples a little between his fingers.

You moved your hands to his hips and cautiously slid his boxers down his hips. You couldn’t stop the small moan that left your lips as you freed his erect member.

“Fuck Spence,” you groaned eyeing him up.

He removed his hands from your breasts so he could shimmy his boxers off.

He laid back down on top of you, his cock nestling between your legs. He kissed you softly, stroking back your hair.

“Y/N, I need to tell you something before w-we...you know…”

“You can tell me anything.” you encouraged him.

“Y/N, I have been in l-love with you for as long as I can remember. I need you t-to know that. I need you to know h-how inconceivably in love with you I am.”

You felt tears spring to your eyes at his words. You pulled him close for another kiss.

“Spencer, I love you too baby.” you whispered, making him sigh in relief.

“I have waited so long to hear you say that.”

“You should have asked.” You smirked, kissing him again. “Are you ready baby?”

He nodded with a deep breath. You wrapped your legs around his waist and he kept his eyes firmly on yours he slowly pushed his way inside of you.

His eyes widened and his jaw fell slack. Nothing in the world could have prepared him for the way you felt. Honestly, he almost came as soon as your tight heat was sheathed around him.

He pushed all the way inside you, filling you up beautifully. He paused to take a few steadying breaths.

“Are you ok?” You traced your finger along his bottom lip.

“Yeah,” he panted. “I just need a minute. I don’t want to uh…f-finish too soon.” He blushed.

“Take your time Spence.” You smiled lovingly at him.

He took a few more breaths and captured your lips in a kiss before he started moving slowly.

He was careful in his movements, slow and gentle as though you were made of glass.

He withdrew almost all the way, before slowly plunging back inside you.

His eyes rolled back in his head and the two of you moaned together under the starry sky.

“Jesus Y/N.” He gasped. “This f-feels so...so…”

“I know Spence,” you kissed him harder, messily exploring his mouth, your hands roaming his body and he moved in and out of you.

“I’m r-really not g-gonna…l-last long.” He spoke into your lips.

“Touch me again Spence. I want to come with you.”

He exhaled, moving his hand between your bodies and his fingers started circling your clit once more as he continued his slow thrusts.

The feeling of being inside you was otherworldly. Spencer had never dreamed in a million years it would feel this magical.

He wanted it to last forever. He never wanted this end. If he could feel one thing for the rest of his life he wanted it to be you wrapped around his dick.

He was getting closer and closer to the edge but now his fingers were working deftly on you, so you were you.

You found it hard to believe he’d never done this before because he was amazing at it. He seemed to know just what to do to bring you to your orgasm.

“I’m s-sorry Y/N…I can’t...I’m g-gonna…”

“Me too Spence.”

Hearing you moan his name was all he could take and with one last thrust, Spencer came, filling you with his load.

You came too, clenching around his spasming cock.

He fell on top of you, panting and moaning into your neck.

You wrapped him in your arms and kissed his messy hair.

“God damn Spencer,” you panted. “That was incredible.”

“R-really?” He lifted his head so he could look at you.

“Absolutely.” You held his face and kissed him gently. “I love you Spencer.”

“I love you too Y/N. So much.”

“Shall we go to bed?”

“Five more minutes under the stars?” He asked to which you nodded.

He gently pulled out of you and rolled onto his back on the blanket. You curled into him, resting your head on his chest.

He wrapped one arm around you and held your hand tightly.

“Beautiful isn’t it?” You sighed sleepily, looking up at the night sky.

“Not half as beautiful as you Y/N.”

***

It didn’t take long at all for you both to fall asleep like that. Thankfully you woke up before your parents and managed to sneak back into your tent before they found you.

Your dad would have a coronary if he found the two of you like that.

The drive back was long, it seemed longer than on the way. Maybe because you knew your time together was coming to an end.

Tomorrow Spencer would be leaving for DC and who knows when you would next see each other again.

At least you had your night together under the stars.

You were both exhausted when you arrived home so retired to your own homes to rest, Spencer promising to come and see you before he left the following morning.

Your night together had been magical, but the air between you was now stifled. It was what Spencer feared most. Giving into his urges had probably ruined your friendship.

And now he was leaving and didn’t have time to make it up to you.

As promised he showed up at your front door the following morning, his car already packed up.

You stepped out onto the porch and closed the front door behind you.

“I can’t believe you’re really leaving.” you wrapped your arms around your body as though shielding yourself from the pain that was going to be caused.

“I know, me either. I never imagined leaving Vegas, not permanently anyway.” he shrugged sadly.

“Don’t forget about me when you’re a hot shot in the FBI, Agent Reid.” you gave him a half smile.

“You and I both know it’s Doctor Reid.” he tried to laugh but it came out as more of a sigh. “Look Y/N, I need to know. After what happened the other night…”

“Spence-”

“Where do we stand Y/N?” he cut you off. “What...what are we?”

You sighed heavily and tried to smile even though your heart was breaking.

“We’re best friends, Spence.” you shrugged. “Always.”

“Best friends.” he muttered sadly. “That’s what I thought.”

“Spencer, we’re moving to different parts of the country, I’m not sure exactly what you thought that night was.”

No, neither am I.

“What was it to you?” he said instead.

“I guess...it was a perfect way to say goodbye.”

Spencer couldn’t keep his resolve any longer and his tears broke free, falling down his cheeks.

“Of course. Goodbye.” he whispered.

“Spence, please don’t cry.” you reached for him but he stepped out of your touch.

“I need to uh...g-get going. It’s a long drive to Quantico.” he rubbed the palms of his hands heavily over his eyes.

“Spence,”

“Really, I n-need to go.” he turned away from you and jogged down the front steps of your house and down the path.

“Spencer, please don’t leave like this.” you called after him, dangerously close to tears yourself.

“Goodbye Y/N.” he turned back to you when he reached the front gate. “I’ll always love you.” he sniffed but before you could say anything more, he was gone.

He ran to his car and seconds later he was inside and you were watching him pull away.

You fell to the ground on the porch and you sobbed. What else could you possibly do? You’d lost your best friend and the love of your life in one fell swoop.

All because of one stupid night under the stars.

Ask the stars up in the sky,

Ask the stars they’ll tell you why.

Stars know ev’ry little thing you do,

There’s a little star that’s watching you.

Ask the stars when you’re with me,

Ask the stars then watch and see.

***

Quantico, Virginia - 2020

Seventeen years seem to pass almost in the blink of an eye. One day Spencer was walking into the BAU for the first time and seemingly the next he was almost forty with a lifetime of trauma behind him.

He thought about you every single day for the longest time. He wondered what you were doing with your life. Were you happy? Had you met someone and got married? Had kids?

Honestly he probably still thought about you every day of his life until he met Maeve.

Maeve was a wonderful reprieve from thoughts of you, and for the first time in almost ten years you hadn’t been the first thought on his mind when he woke in the morning.

But he’d never loved her the way he loved you. It was probably for the best that he and Maeve never got to be together properly because it would have inevitably ended when he couldn’t give her his whole heart.

No, he’d left a piece of that in Vegas years ago.

After Maeve he thought about you from time to time but not everyday like he once had. When he was incarcerated he thought about you a lot. He wondered what you think of him if you could see him sitting in that cell, becoming a man he didn’t recognise. Surely you wouldn’t recognise him either.

Then he met Max and once again he thought maybe, just maybe he would finally be able to give his heart to someone else. But his hopes were dashed. They dated for a few months but she always knew there was someone else. Someone else occupied his mind and his heart and it wasn’t fair on Max to stay with her in the hopes that one day he might be able to love her like he loved you.

You hadn’t fared much better in the love department.

You met a man in college and the two of you married at the tender age of twenty one. You knew you were over compensating. You knew this wasn’t the man you were supposed to be with. But he helped take your mind off your lost love and you were sure in time you would stop thinking about Spencer all together.

But of course you didn’t.

The marriage lasted three years and you were divorced soon after your twenty fourth birthday. There had been other men over the years, but none lasted very long.

They scratched an itch. They filled a void in your life that had existed since Spencer walked out. But inevitably you couldn’t commit so each one ended quicker than the last.

You stayed in Vegas all those years, maybe hoping one day Spencer would come back to you, but of course that had been foolish. Spencer was off living his own life, he probably hadn’t given you a second thought in years.

And then, at the age of thirty five, the job offer came that changed everything.

***

“It’s so quiet around here.” Luke mused as he and Spencer walked through the bullpen.

“Yeah I know what you mean. How is Garcia getting on at her new job?”

“She’s enjoying it but she misses the BAU.”

“Tell her we miss her too. Isn’t her replacement meant to be starting today?”

“She is and she’s settling into her new office.” Emily’s voice caught Spencer and Luke’s attention.

“I guess we should go and introduce ourselves.” Luke shrugged.

“Sure,” Spencer shrugged too and the two of them made their way out of the bullpen towards Garcia’s old office.

“I bet it’s going to be so drab.” Luke laughed.

“No more unicorn mugs or fluffy pens.” Spencer agreed.

“Penelope is one of a kind.”

“Undoubtedly.” Spencer swiped his card on the door and pushed the door handle before stepping into the office, Luke just behind him.

“You must be our new technical analyst.” Luke spoke as the door closed behind the two agents.

The woman sat in Garcia’s old chair tapping on the keys turned in the chair to face them.

She seemed to move in slow motion.

“I’m SSA Luke Alvez and this is Doctor-”

“Spencer Reid.” she cut him off, the words falling from her lips.

“Y/N Y/L/N.” Spencer croaked, glaring at the woman in front of him as if he’d seen a ghost.

Luke frowned looking between the two of them who seemed to have forgotten his presence.

Spencer and Y/N stared at each other without saying a word. Spencer’s chest tightened, constricting his breathing. Was he having a heart attack? Was this how he was going to die?

“You uh, know each other?” Luke spoke up.

“Uh...did know each other.” you croaked not tearing your eyes away from Spencer.

“A long time ago.” Spencer added, not looking away from you either.

Sensing the tension in the room, Luke backed up towards the door.

“Maybe I should let the two of you get reacquainted.” he said but neither of you acknowledged him.

He pushed his way back into the hall just as JJ was heading his way.

“Hey, I was just coming to meet the new tech analyst.” she smiled at him.

“I would give it a minute.” Luke told her, making her frown.

“Why?”

“There’s a lot of unfinished business in that room, trust me.” he put his arm around her shoulders to lead her away from the door.

“Spencer and the new Garcia?”

“Yeah.” Luke sighed. “If my profiling skills are accurate, I would say they were in love once. Probably still are.”

Back inside Garcia’s old office, you and Spencer were still staring at each other.

“I had no idea you still worked here, I swear. I wouldn’t have taken the job if I’d known.” you chewed your lip awkwardly.

“You look different.” he spoke as though ignoring what you’d said.

“Well yes, it has been a long time Spencer.”

“Seventeen years, three months and fifteen days.”

“Precisely.” you frowned at his recall. “I’m not eighteen anymore.”

“No and I’m not twenty two.” he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

It was longer now, curlier and messier. He sported stubble on his cheeks and dark circles under his eyes. He’d gained weight, somehow gotten even taller you were sure.

He was most certainly not the twenty two year old Spencer Reid you had spent a night with under the stars.

“You look different too. Good different.” you told him.

“A lifetime of trauma will probably do that.” he nodded stiffly.

“Spencer? Strange question for you…”

“Yeah?”

“Did you uhm...did you ever tell Penelope about...that night.” you felt yourself blushing.

Spencer closed his eyes for a moment with a sigh.

He hadn’t been this drunk in a really long time. Maybe ever. Spencer never had been a big drinker. But they’d had a tough case and Garcia had suggested they all spend the evening at her apartment drinking.

Spencer couldn’t recall who exactly had suggested the drinking games, possibly Kate, but they had been Spencer’s downfall.

“You never did answer the question,” Garica helped Spencer into his jacket after everyone else had left.

“What question?” he slurred, narrowing his eyes on her.

“During truth or dare Morgan asked you how you lost your virginity. You didn’t answer.”

He swallowed, stumbling over his feet a little.

“I uh…” he sighed. “It was with my best friend. On a camping trip under the stars.”

“How romantic!” Garcia swooned.

“Hmm not really. It doesn’t have a happy ending.”

“I don’t remember,” he opened his eyes. “Why?”

“I met her a few times before she left, she was training me up while you guys were away on cases. She told me about the team and that’s when I figured out you still worked here, but I’d already accepted the job by then. Anyway I told her I used to know you, that we were best friends. I didn’t really think much of it until I found this today.” you fished in your pocket and pulled out a brightly coloured post it note. “It was slotted between the desks. I recognise her handwriting.”

You handed the small folded up note to Spencer who took it and unfolded it. In Garcia’s signature handwriting, it read, “You’re in love, just ask the stars.”

“Ok so maybe I did tell her about my best friend who I lost my virginity to under the stars.” he confessed.

“Ah then the note makes sense.” you took it back from him and slid it back into your pocket.

“Yeah.”

Silence followed, heavy, palpable silence.

He thought maybe after all this time he didn’t feel as strongly about you as he used to. But looking into your beautiful eyes, all those feelings came flooding back to him. He didn’t have a shadow of a doubt that he was still in love with you.

The question was, did you still feel the same?

As if reading his mind you stepped a little closer to Spencer, cautiously at first but when he didn’t shy away you came even closer.

You took hold of his tie and played with it between your fingers.

“I know what you’re thinking Spence,” you smiled coyly. “I always know what you’re thinking.”

“You should have been a profiler.” He smiled softly, making you laugh.

“I’ve said it once, Spence and I’ll say it again. If you want to know if I’m still in love with you...all you have to do, is ask.”

When they twinkle, twinkle,

Wedding bells will tinkle, tinkle.

You’re in love, just ask the stars.

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[sequinsmile-x]

Serendipity

This was originally a prompt on here that I promised a follow up to, but got carried away.

The original prompt is in italics, so you can refresh yourselves on what it was!

Words: 3.6k 

Rating: Mature

Read over on ao3, or below the cut. 

Let me know what you think! 

It should never have happened. Emily hadn’t intended for it to, and she knew Aaron hadn’t either. They hadn’t meant to fuck at JJ’s wedding, hidden in Dave’s guest bathroom as Aaron’s girlfriend danced with his son downstairs.

Things shifted between them that night. The dance they had shared, his hand in hers and his breath against her neck had ignited her skin, set something on fire that she had tried to ignore. Emily had tried to walk away, to put some distance between them. Aaron had followed her, knocking softly on the bathroom door when she had been in there a little too long.

Emily wasn’t entirely sure who kissed who first, but she remembered him pressing her up against the counter. How it felt when he pushed her dress over her hips, her own hands not idle as she undid his shirt, wanting to feel his skin against hers.

The aftermath had been awkward, but that hadn’t stopped it from happening again the following day. Him coming to hers for the coffee they had promised each other, ending up on the couch instead, clothes shed and desperate hands palming against each other's skin.

She stiffened when he said he had broken up with Beth, the gentle hope in his voice breaking her heart. Emily still remembered the look on his face when she said she was still going to London, his cheek against her hand.

She had been in London for two months before she called him, lied and said she was in town for a consult. Aaron obviously didn’t believe her, but he came to her hotel room anyway. Emily realises she should have known it would be inevitable, that they would have sex again. She wants him as much as he wants her and she has spent so much of her life denying herself the things she wanted. It isn’t lost on her that this is the first time they have done this in a bed, and she sits up as he gets dressed, the silence in the room deafening. She pulls on one of the robes hung up in the wardrobe, pulling the tie tight around her waist.

“Aaron, we still need to talk.”

He looks at her, his face stern. “Are you staying?”

Emily opens her mouth, unsure how to even begin to answer that question, to say what she needs to say. Aaron takes her hesitance as an answer, shrugging on his jacket as he shakes his head at her.

“I should go.”

“Aaron, please.”

“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t leave.” He says, his voice full of defeat and she hates that she's the one that put it there. That she caused the man who she cares for more than she should to feel anything other than happiness. Aaron turns to leave, his hand on the door of her hotel room and a heavy sigh escapes him. “See you next time you’re in town, Emily.”

Emily closes her eyes and wraps her arms around herself, pulling the robe she had put on tighter, as if it could hold her together in the soft material whilst she tells him what she came here to say. What she couldn’t bring herself to tell him on the phone.

“I’m pregnant.”

Aaron turns to look at her. Her eyes are fixed on the floor, her arms crossed tightly across her chest.

“Emily.”

She looks up at him, a small smile on her face. “I think it goes without saying it's yours.” She clears her throat awkwardly when he just stares at her, clearly trying to figure out what to say next. “We should sit down.”

She moves over to one of the armchairs in the corner of the room. She curls up into the chair, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. Emily feels relief ease some of the tension in her chest when he joins her, sitting in the chair next to hers.

“Are you ok?” He asks, and it makes her smile. Any frustration he had aimed at her had melted away, replaced by confusion and something she couldn’t quite place.

“I’m ok.” She answers. “Although morning sickness is the most poorly named thing on the fucking planet.” He laughs at that, and it’s nervous, making her raise an eyebrow at him. “Are you ok?”

He nods. “I think we have a lot of things to discuss.”

“Yeah.” She replies, swallowing against the lump in her throat. “We do.” ____________

The flight back to London is rough. Her constant nausea makes the hours drag by, her desperation to just be on solid ground almost overwhelming her.

She’s never been more grateful to see her apartment, the place still not quite feeling like home yet. She sinks into her couch and groans when her cell phone immediately rings, rolling her eyes when she sees Clyde’s name on the screen before she answers.

“Do you track me or something? I’ve only just made it back.”

“That's for me to know and you to wonder about, darling.” Clyde says, smugness in his voice that made her smile despite herself. “How did our dear Agent Hotchner take the news that he’s going to be a father again.”

“Quite well given the circumstances.” Emily answers, unwilling to divulge anymore of her conversation with Aaron to her friend, knowing if there was one person on the planet he wouldn’t want her to talk to about this it would be Clyde Easter.

“You’re going to go back aren’t you?”

Emily laughs, frustrated that he could read her so well even over the phone. “I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

“You always have a choice.”

“Not now.” She replies. She looks down at her abdomen, still flat with no indication of the life growing underneath her skin showing yet. “I can’t keep the baby from him, or him from the baby. He’s a great dad.”

“You left DC for a reason.”

Emily places her hand on her belly and smiles to herself. “And now I guess I have a reason to go back.” ____________

Aaron visits her a month later. His insistence on coming to London for a long weekend made her laugh. She feels nervous when she picks him up at the airport, but it fades away when she sees him.

It’s strange, having him there in her apartment, like two very distinct worlds were colliding. She liked it though, couldn’t help but smile as he walked around and made himself familiar with where she lived.

“I had a scan this morning.” She says, smiling at him nervously when he turns to look at her, his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “Would you like to see the picture?”

“Of course.”

She beams at him as she digs the scan photo out of her purse and hands it to him. “Everything looks good, even if I am a ‘geriatric mother.’’ She said, using air quotes as she spoke.

Aaron has the gall to laugh at her, which makes her raise her eyebrows at him. He steps towards her, ultrasound scan still in hand, and he hugs her. She hugs him back, breathes in the scent of his cologne. She pulls back enough to look at him, and before she can think better of it she leans forward and kisses him. It crosses the delicate line they hadn’t crossed since he had left her hotel room a month ago, still reeling from the life changing news he had told him. They’d been in contact every day since, exchanging texts and phone calls around both of their gruelling work schedules. They’d been acting like friends, nothing more, but her hands grasping the back of his head, pulling him closer to her, changed that.

“Wait.” He says against her lips, pulling away so he could look at her. “Is this a good idea?”

Emily heaves in a breath and licks her lips before looking at his. “Maybe not.” She presses another quick kiss to his lips. “But it’s not like you can knock me up again.”

He stares at her for a second before pulling her back into him, kissing her fiercely as she drags him to her bedroom. ____________

They don’t talk about anything important until the day he leaves, neither of them wanting to ruin the little bubble they had created in her apartment. It’s him that tentatively brings up her plans over the breakfast they had ordered in.

“When are you coming back?”

“In three months.” She says as she takes a sip of her tea. “That’s when my replacement can start here, and when the role at the DC Interpol office opens up.”

Aaron frowns at her. “The DC Interpol office?”

Emily nods. “It’s essentially what I’m doing now.” She senses his confusion and clears her throat as she sets her mug back down. “I was never going to be coming back to the bureau, Aaron.”

“It’s your choice, I just thought you would have mentioned it.”

Emily can feel her temper flaring, annoyance rising up in her before she can stop it. “We’re not in a relationship, Aaron. Just because we fucked a few times and accidentally made a baby doesn’t mean I have to run everything past you.”

He stares at her, a hard look on his face. It seems to take him a moment to speak, and the way he carefully chooses his words pisses her off even more. “Would you even be coming back if it wasn’t for the baby, Emily?”

She looks at him, her fury written all over her face. “No. I wouldn’t be.”

He leaves pretty quickly, claiming he needs to get to the airport even though his flight isn’t for another 12 hours.

____________

After that they speak less often. She updates him on the baby and he asks her how she is, how both of them are doing.

When she starts to show she takes a photo of her bump and sends it to him. The next day a package from Amazon arrives full of pregnancy skin care, a gift note from Aaron that tells her Haley had sworn by the bump cream. The tenderness of the gesture makes her cry, the affection she feels for him almost bursting out of her chest.

She calls him when she finds out they are having a boy, her enthusiasm seeping down the phone and filling his voice with wonder.

As she boards the plane to DC 3 months after she last saw him, all of her belongings shipped, she feels something a little bit like hope bloom in her chest. ____________

Aaron comes to visit her at her apartment almost as soon as she gets back, a smile on his face and a bag of takeout in his hand.

“Hi.” She says, almost shyly as she lets him in.

“Hi.” He kisses her cheek before he thinks about it, pulling her into a hug. He steps back and looks down at her abdomen. “Wow.”

Emily laughs, her hand landing on her belly. “Yeah, he’s getting big.” She takes the bag of food from him. “We should eat.”

They eat and make conversation, and it’s as if 3 months of awkward conversation between them hadn’t happened. He asks her about Sergio, and she says Penelope would be keeping him for now, but that she had full visitation rights.

Aaron clears up the plates, and she rolls her eyes at him as he tells her to put her feet up. She feels the awkwardness seep back in when he sits on the couch next to her, the unanswered questions hanging in the air.

“I’ll get you your own key.” Emily says, tearing her eyes from her lap to look at him. “It makes sense for you to just be able to come over, see the baby whenever.”

He nods, an awkward smile on his face. “I’ll get you one to my place too. Jack keeps asking when you’re coming over.”

“That’s sweet. I missed him.”

“He missed you. We both did.” It’s awkward again for a moment, and she can see the second he decides to simply say whatever he had been holding back for months. “What are we, Emily?”

She sighs. “I don’t know, Aaron.” She grabs his hand and squeezes it. “I care about you. So much. But if we hadn’t had sex at JJ’s wedding we wouldn’t even be here right now. How is that the foundation of a relationship?”

“By itself it might not be, but we have a lot more than that.” He cups her cheek. “We’ve known each other for years. I know I’m not the only one who has felt that there could be more between us.”

Emily closes her eyes and rests her forehead against his. “There is so much more at stake now.” She puts their joint hands on her bump. “We can’t mess anything up for him, or Jack.”

“Don’t we owe it to them, to us, to try?”

She pulls back enough for her nose to brush against his. Emily decides that she’s going to let herself have what she wants. She nods before she kisses him, sighing as they both lean further into it. She breaks off with a laugh when she feels the baby kick against their hands.

Aaron looks down at her stomach in wonder. “He’s kicking?”

She nods at him. “He’s kicking.”

For the first time since the test came back positive she genuinely feels like everything might work out. ____________

By the time she's 8 months pregnant she is spending the vast majority of her time at his apartment, even when he was away on a case, and she tries to ignore what that means. That she’s 2 months into a relationship with a man and practically living with him and his son. Whilst being pregnant with his second son.

Her mother had always told her that she didn’t do anything by half.

Emily is sitting on a park bench, watching Jack play on the swings, with her hand pressed into her belly when she feels it. The familiar feeling of being watched. She feels a shiver run down her spine, goosebumps raising over her body.

Her first instinct is that it’s Ian. All of her logical thoughts that he was dead, that she’d watched him die, being beaten by the anxiety coursing through her. Every reason she had left DC in the first place comes flooding back and she has to take several deep breaths. The feeling doesn’t go away, she looks around the park quickly. She can’t see him, can’t see anyone that looks like they’d be associated with him, but she feels like she needs to leave. Like she needs to get Jack, and her baby, back home as quickly as possible.

She’s about to walk over to Jack, make him leave his friends so she could take him home, when she hears a familiar voice.

“Emily?” She whips round to see Beth standing next to her, an awkward look on her face as she takes in Emily’s appearance. “I saw you from across the park, I thought it was you.”

“Beth. Hi.” She tries to smile. “How have you been?”

“Good.” She nods. She looks at her again, eyes landing on Emily’s bump. The unspoken understanding from the other woman that she was pregnant with Aaron’s child. “You look well.”

Emily’s smile falters. The last time she had seen Beth had been at JJ’s wedding, the night she’d had sex with Aaron when his girfriend was just downstairs. Beth would know that. Emily knew that Aaron was a good enough man to have told her everything when he broke up with her.

“I am really sorry, Beth. For how everything happened.”

Beth laughs and sits on the bench next to her. “That is almost exactly word for word what Aaron said when we got back to his place after JJ and Will’s wedding.” Beth looks over to where Jack is playing and smiles. “I knew something had happened, neither of you were very subtle.”

Emily feels her baby roll in her belly and she presses her hand to it, hoping the gentle circles soothe her son as well as herself.

“I...I guess saying we didn’t mean for it to happen won’t mean much.”

“It doesn’t.” Beth says, a wry smile on her face as she turns back to Emily. “But are you both happy?”

Emily doesn’t even have to think about it. “Yeah. We are.”

“Then maybe it was all worth it.” Beth says as she stands. “I should get going, tell Jack and Aaron I said hi.”

“You should say hi to Jack.”

“It’s ok. I don’t want to confuse him.” Beth smiles at Emily one last time. “Tell Aaron I’m glad he’s happy.” ____________

Aaron gets back to his apartment, the case he had been on two days too long for his liking, to find Emily fast asleep on the couch, wearing one of his shirts and a pair of leggings, with her hand pressed into her stomach. He smiles as he hangs up his keys and sets the alarm, setting his briefcase down on the side. He walks over to the couch and sits on the edge of it, gently waking her. She opens her eyes and looks at him.

“You’re home.” She murmurs, the roughness to her voice giving away that she’s been asleep for a while.

He hums in his throat as he strokes his hand over her head. “Why are you on the couch, you know it doesn’t do your back any good.”

“I was waiting up for you.” She sits up slowly, accepting his help to get her upright. Emily leans against his side as he sits next to her, smiling when he puts one of his palms on her belly and kisses the top of her head. “I missed you.”

“Missed you too.” He tilts her head and kisses her properly, feeling her smile against his lips as the baby rolls in her stomach. “How are you?”

“Good.” Emily answers. “My entire body is sore. But good.”

He hums his sympathy and rubs his hand over her stomach, the baby forever active in a way he knew had caused Emily to lose sleep.

“I’d like to take you on a date.” He says, smiling as Emily pulls back from him, a look of curiosity on her face. “I realised today that I've never taken you on one.”

“Aaron.” She replies, a smile on her face. “I’m 8 months pregnant with your son, I think we’re a little past dating.”

“True, but you have only just agreed to be my girlfriend.” He laughs when she scrunches her nose at him, leaning down to kiss the tip of it. “What?”

“The word ‘girlfriend’ makes it sound like I’m 14, not in my 40s.”

Aaron smiles at her again and kisses her, smiling against her lips. “Well, I’d propose to you so you could call me your fiancée, but I worry that would send you running back to London.”

Emily laughs, kissing him again quickly. “I wouldn’t run away, but I might check if you were feeling ok.” She rests her head against him again. “I saw Beth today.”

He stiffens, his arms tightening around her. “How was that?”

“Awkward.” She answers, turning her head to kiss his shoulder through his shirt. “But she was very nice. Nicer than I might have been in her shoes.”

“I’m glad.” He kisses the top of her head. “What else?”

“What do you mean?”

“What else happened?”

She scoffs. “Can’t keep anything from you.” She sighs. “I could tell someone was watching me, and before Beth came over I thought it was Ian.” He doesn’t say anything, and it spurs her on. “I know he’s dead, that I don’t have to be afraid anymore, but I was for so long.” She feels her emotions rise in her chest, tears flooding at her eyes as she was at the mercy of her hormones. “And I have so much more to lose now.” She wipes her face. “You, Jack. The baby.”

He kisses the top of her head again, then her temple, holding her impossibly tighter. “You aren’t going to lose any of us, sweetheart.” He tilts her chin so he can kiss her properly. “This is it now. Forever.”

She ignores the voice in her head that tells her he can’t promise her that, and she nods.

“If that’s a proposal I’m leaving.” She jokes and it makes him laugh, his forehead pressed against hers.

“Trust me, baby. You’ll know when I’m proposing.” ____________

He takes her on a date the following week. She lets him take her to a restaurant and spoil her, and he doesn’t make any comments when she orders enough food for at least 3 people for herself.

He takes her for ice cream after, going into the store and getting it himself so she doesn’t have to get back out the car, her ankles sore and swollen.

That night they lay in his bed, the one she really knows is theirs, and as he runs his fingers up and down her bare spine she drifts off to sleep.

“I love you.” She whispers into the room, the first time she has said it to him.

She stays awake long enough to hear him say it back. ____________

It should never have happened, but when their son, Benjamin, is born three weeks later Emily is so glad it did.

[flamboyant-king]

ok i hope this is ok to send but. tbh i really want to take a break from anything crk related for at least a while, but i inevitably become obsessed with the cookie game again after a week or so.. how did you manage??😭

Leave the cookies and become obsessed with my OCs instead. Ha lol lmao rofl XD hehoo hahaho roflmao

For me, it was a combination of things. The fandom itself and how they handled other folks, the social media accounts, and how they handled the cookies. It just made me sick, not so much cringe, but it disgusted me how these folks acted and treated each other. There was also the NFT situation and I frankin' hate those things. So in protest I deleted my apps on my phones (cause I had it on multiple to have different voiceovers pssh). There is like no entertaining posts out there. I barely see comics of conkies and they're not funny. I'm a person who laughs at everything and if you make a comic and there is no punchline, I go to a wall, punch it, and cry. And even less than that, NO CLOVER COOKIE? If ya got one (1) character you love, the sole strand keeping you attached to a game, and you got no material to look forward to, then ya might as well take that character and go. Just get the honk outta here. The overexposure of some characters, even. The fandom is a hivemind, you can see an obvious bait cookie and know over half the fandom will create endless fanarts, aus, fanfics, fancams, whatever of those cookies. Putting that overexposure on top of the lack of posts for your fave character, the more you're just like "i'm not looking over there, I know what I'm going to see and i'm not going to like it." So, i just stopped looking. I'm not participating in that mess.

But mostly, I just got lazy to open the app anymore. I have CRK on my laptop only and I don't log in daily anymore. Became too much work to go through two (2) loading screens? What do you take me for? Patient? How much effort do you want me to put into this game? It's hard for me to advance in the story at all because how we have to grind for materials and level up cookies I don't care for. They can update chapters all they want, I'm perpetually in Chapter 10 because I do not care.

You just have to make it difficult for you to keep going or get into something new. Put yer fixations on something else. (like my OCs lmfao HAHA LOL ha)

I still play Ovenbreak tho. That tingles my brain more than Kingdom does. The only thing in Kingdom that tingles my brain is Clover.

Too bad he's fucking dead.

[marvelatthetwilight]

No More Darkness

@fatiguing-thoughts this one is for you! And, as it’s Quil @clearwater-hoe might like this too?!

Quil was your best friend. You did everything together, your families had been friends for years and you had practically known each other since birth. You walked to school together, sat at lunch together, were partners in projects, hung out after school, shared your hopes and your fears, everything that best friends do. Embry and Jacob were like your brothers yes, but with Quil it was always different, like your souls were connected, and you knew each other in a way that no one ever could.

When Embry, and then Jacob disappeared off the face of the earth to suddenly join the Sam gang, you were furious for yourself, but you were devastated for Quil. The whole situation put him on edge, he was constantly anxious that Sam was looking at him in a way he couldn’t really explain, like he knew something Quil didn’t. That somehow Quil was next.

It was after school on a Friday. You were walking on the beach with Quil, talking about Jacob’s recent disappearance and Quil’s strange suspicions.

“I saw Jared and Paul this morning, from a distance of course, and they just had this look in their eyes. Like they were wary of me, watching my behaviour. It’s like they’re waiting for something to happen”. He looked defeated, like he was just waiting for the inevitable. “Y/N I just feel like the darkness is closing in on me, like it did for Embry, like it is for Jacob.”

“Quil you don’t need to feel like that, you know I’ve always been here for you, I will always be there for you. Even if you do join a gang” I nudge him slightly with this last comment and a small smile forms on his face.

“What would I ever do without you Y/N?”

“Lucky for you, you’ll never have to find that out! I don’t plan on going anywhere!” You stop walking and wrap your arms around his waist, pulling him in for one of your famous hugs.

“A Y/N hug never fails to disappoint” you can hear the smile in his voice as he replies as he wraps his arms around your body and gives you a small squeeze.

On Monday morning you head to Quil’s house to walk to school together like you always do.

You hadn’t seen him over the weekend as you’d been dragged to see you grandparents a couple of hours away, which you had told him. He said he was going to catch up on sleep and homework as he had been really tired recently, you thought nothing of it, he’s a teenage boy, that happens.

When he stopped replying to your messages on Sunday, you didn’t initially think anything was wrong, assuming he was just sleeping and hadn’t heard his phone. However, as the day went on, you messaged again, and still heard nothing. When you checked your phone as you woke up Monday morning, you could see he had read your messages but he had still not replied. Something was off.

So here you were, walking up the steps to Quil’s house, about to knock on the door...

The door opens, and you frown as you see Embry step out.

“He can’t see you Y/N, he’s sick. He won’t be coming to school, you need to walk in by yourself.” Embry won’t make eye contact with you, like he knows you will see straight through his lie, but you leave it. You’ve got a big test this morning, you’ll get to the bottom of this later.

“I’ll be back after school.”

“He’ll still be sick then and won’t be able to see you then.” This time he looks down at you, and you take in the changes in the person you saw as a brother. He’s taller, filled out with muscle, not the skinny scrawny boy you grew up with. He has a tattoo on his arm now too, the same tattoo you had seen on Paul and Jared.

“What happened Embry? You look so different. What did Sam do to you?”

He frowns at this. “Sam has helped me, helped us, like he’s going to help Quil. You just need to leave Y/N, I’m sorry.”

With that, he closes the door.

You keep texting Quil throughout the day, hoping that this wasn’t really happening, that you weren’t losing another friend. You heard nothing. The same ghosting as you had from Embry, and Jacob.

You never thought that Quil could ghost you, that your connection was so deep it couldn’t be broken. Quil would never do that, you thought.

There was so much more to all of this than either you or Quil had thought.

You get through your school day, acing your test, but sitting alone at lunch. Alone with your thoughts, putting together a plan. This was the last straw, you rolled over and accepted the loss of Embry, the loss of Jacob, but you weren’t losing Quil.

As the school day finishes you send Quil a final text before you walk back to his house.

I’m coming over. I’m not taking no for an answer. You won’t see me? I’m not leaving.

You walk up the steps to Quil’s front door, again the door opens before you have a chance to knock, but this time you recognise it to be Sam, although you’ve only ever seen him from a distance. Your text must have called in the big guns.

“He can’t see you Y/N, you know this.” He looks at you in sympathy and you can’t stand it.

“But why? Why are you taking all of my friends away? You know I’m completely alone now? Embry, Jacob, Quil, they were my life, my best friends, my family. Now I have no one.” Tears are rolling down your face before you can stop them and a heart wrenching sob leaves your mouth as the words ring true in your heart.

Sam glances behind him and you hear a slight commotion. “Let me see her” you hear. “Embry you know she won’t leave until I do, Sam, let me see her.”

Sam sighs as he pushes the door open fully. You gasp as your eyes fix with Quil’s, his eyes widen and he doesn’t break eye contact as you notice Embry and Sam smirking at each other.

“Er...Quil? Are you ok?” Your voice brings him back to reality, and he shoves Embry as he makes an aww sound whilst looking between the two of you. Quil looks to Sam, who nods and he quickly grabs your hand and starts walking with you towards the woods.

You slow your pace as you reach the edge of the woods. Quil stops, and turns so you are facing each other, he takes both your hands in his and looks into your eyes. He’s never looked at me like this before.

Something stirs inside you, feelings you’d put aside years ago, knowing that nothing would come of them, that Quil would only ever think of you as a sister. But something seemed different.

“There’s a lot I need to explain to you, a lot. But for now I just need to tell you that...you, and me, what we have is really special. For years I’ve loved you, and not like a sister line Embry or Jake. I love you. And now something in me has stirred to give me the confidence to tell you how I really feel.”

Your hands are shaking.

“Y/N, I don’t know if you feel the same, if you’ve ever felt that way about me but I needed to tell you...” Quil looks to the side before speaking again, “you know that darkness I talked about? That feeling of doom? Well, I when I finally understood what was happening, which I promise I will explain, I thought that darkness would disappear. But it didn’t. I still felt it, until that door opened and I looked at you.”

He brings your hands up to his face, kissing them softly.

“One look at you, and, poof, no more darkness”

He smiles softly at you. “You don’t have to say anything, I just needed to be brave, be honest.”

If Quil can be brave then so can I, you thought.

“...I’ve always been in love with you Quil, I feel like our souls are connected in some magical way, that we are, I dunno...it sounds stupid. Like we are soul mates or something.”

He smiles at you again, gently pulling your face up to his and kissing you softly on the lips. He laughs before speaking again.

“Yeah, or something”

Taglist

@volturidoll13 @like-rain-or-confetti @wallwriterstuff @megzdoodle @awesomebooklover17 @moviequeen51 @cncogirl18 @fatiguing-thoughts @clearwater-hoe

[hangezoeenthusiast]

Brother

m!reader

synopsis: you were best friends, brothers, that went down in flames and ashes by every. single. thing. dream did horribly(this depicts that dream is canonically puffy's son)

y/n/n = your nickname

warnings: angst, cursing, slapping of the hand, yelling, fighting, blood, cigarretes, wounds, pushing, drowning, punching, killing of mushroom henry, explosion, prison, distinct description of death ig

word count: 2,353

song: brother by kodaline

𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙚 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙜, 𝙬𝙚 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨, 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙚𝙣𝙨 (𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙨) 𝙤𝙝 𝙮𝙚𝙖𝙝, 𝙬𝙚 𝙧𝙪𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙

"Dream, look what I found, a cave!" you exclaimed. "Let's go look what's inside." stated Dream. You two were only 9, searching the world for treasure. "Ohh, Dream, I found some diamonds, you want some?" you asked. "Nah, it's your y/n/n." he looked at you with bliss basking in his eyes.

𝙒𝙚 𝙨𝙢𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙙 𝙘𝙞𝙜𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙨 𝙢𝙖𝙣 𝙣𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙜𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙨, 𝙬𝙞𝙨𝙝 𝙄 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙡𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙

"What's that in your hand, Dream?" you questioned. "It's cigarretes, I found it on the ground." You slapped it out of his hands, "Dream, you can't have that!" "Why not Y/n/n, come one, aren't you curious."

“Mom told me that those could kill you.”

“Well don’t listen to mom, she doesn’t know anything.” debated Dream.

𝙒𝙚’𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙣 𝙙𝙞𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙥𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙨, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙙𝙞𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙧𝙤𝙖𝙙𝙨, 𝙄 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙬𝙚’𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙪𝙥 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙚’𝙧𝙚 𝙤𝙡𝙙

“Y/n, don’t you see, L’Manchild is trash, come with me, Sapnap, George, and Eret, the castle is way much better.” Dream tried to convince you to betray L’Manburg like Eret did. “No Dream, it’s L’Manburg by the way. And also, even though we are siblings it doesn’t mean I’m always going to be on your side.”

He was disappointed in you. He thought that L’Manburg poisoned your mind and thoughts, and that he would be your savior, destroying L’Manburg so they could be free of your mind. That failed though, and you sided with the 2 British Children, and the British Man-Child.

𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪’𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪’𝙧𝙚 𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙚 𝙄 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙘𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪

“Watch out Dream!” you exclaimed. You blocked an arrow coming towards Dream’s way. “Thanks Y/n.”

“This doesn’t mean I forgive you though.”

𝙄𝙛 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙙𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙠𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙨, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙘𝙪𝙚 𝙢𝙚

“Y/n, are you ok?” he questioned. You had gotten hit by a stray firework, skin burning off into blisters. “Yeah, it just hurts a bit.” you groaned. It did not hurt a bit, it hurt a lot.

“Y/N, I know you, you feel like shit don’t you?” he told you. “Yeah actually.”

“Ok then, let me just get some stuff.” He started to get a few items, like healing pots, bandages, some towels, and cleaning alcohol. “Ok I’m back, which wound you want me to take care of first?” “The burn.” you responded.

He picked up a towel, and some alcohol, and placed it on the burn wound. “Ow.” you hissed.

“Shut up you big baby.”

You hid your pain from Dream. He then bandanged your arm, and then made you drink the healing potions, but you retaliated.

“Clay, I’m not drinking that , you could poison me.”

“I’m not gonna poison you, just drink it.”

“But what if it tastes bad?”

“It’s not going to taste bad, just drink it.”

“Ok, give it to me.”

“Wait, let me feed it to you.”

“WHAT, I’M NOT A BABY.”

“DO IT.”

“NO, LET ME DO IT MYSELF.”

𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙙𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙩 𝙨𝙚𝙖, 𝙄’𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙢𝙮 𝙡𝙪𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙨𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙚

You met up with Schlatt at a cliff near the sea, he wanted a private meeting with you. He knew that you were betraying him, and giving intel to Pogtopia. “Hey L/N, I need to ask you something.” “Yeah, what is it Schlatt?” “Can you swim?”

“No I can’t, why?”

“It was just random, Y/n, I need to tell you something.” He got closer to you, and getting into your personal bubble, “Hey Schlatt, can you back up a little bit?” you asked. You were starting to be uncomfy around him.

“Nah, I’m not.” That was the last words you ever heard. He pushed you off the cliff, making you fall into your impending doom. Schlatt asked you that weird question so he could kill you, he couldn’t have a weak spot in Manburg.

You fell, and you fell, until your body hit the cold, freezing water. Your body trying to resist the water to enter, skin turning blue. You closed your eyes, accepting your fate, until you saw a shadow behind your eyes, reaching for you.

𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩��𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧, 𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧, 𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧, 𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧

“Are you ok Y/n, Y/n, wake up.” You felt hands patting your cheeks hard, trying to wake you up. You dragged Dream’s hands of your face, “Ok calm down, I’m ok.”

“OK, WHAT DO YOU MEAN OK, YOU ALMOST DIED.” he yelled at you. “Dream, at least I’m alive.” “Ok, just never leave me.” he hugged you. You patted his back, “Ok Dreamie.”

𝙊𝙝 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧, 𝙬𝙚’𝙡𝙡 𝙜𝙤 𝙙𝙚𝙚𝙥𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙤𝙛 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙤𝙤𝙨

“Hey Dream, guess what?” “What is it Y/n?” “I got a new tattoo!” “WHAT!” he screamed at you, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU GOT A TATTOO.”

𝙏𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙬𝙚 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙙, 𝙮𝙤𝙪’𝙧𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙄 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩’𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙩𝙝

“Dream, don’t you realize that we’re adopted?” “No we’re not.” he retaliated. “Clay, who, disgustingly, did the dirty with mom to make us, huh, answer me.”

“Well she... oh.” “It’s ok Dream, we’re still mom’s children and we are still brothers.”

𝙒𝙚’𝙧𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙙𝙞𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙨, 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬𝙨, 𝙞𝙛 𝙬𝙚’𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙩𝙤𝙚𝙨

“Are you sure you wanna do this Y/n?” “Always Dream.” You guys were sparing, reluctantly from Puffy. It was a chance that you would’ve gotten a limb cut off, but you didn’t consider it.

5 𝙮𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨, 20 𝙮𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨, 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙞𝙩 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙢𝙚

You both were laying besides each other at age 10, talking about random things when Dream asked you something, “Hey Y/n.” he whispered to you. “Yeah Clay?” “When we’re 20, will we still be brothers?” “Of course Dreamie, always.”

𝙄𝙛 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙙𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙠𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙨, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙘𝙪𝙚 𝙢𝙚

You got stabbed by Technoblade, through the ribs, bleeding on the ground. Dream ran towards you, trying to hurry up. “Y/n, hey, wake up.” You were spluttering out blood from your red-stained lips, “It’s ok Clay, I got another canon life.” “Ok, I’ll wait for you at your house.”

𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙙𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙩 𝙨𝙚𝙖, 𝙄’𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙢𝙮 𝙡𝙪𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙨𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙚

You heard talking, especially from the side of you. “Wake up or I’ll throw water at you.” “Wake up bitch.” “Fuck you.” you groaned. You got up, and saw Dream near you. You palmed your face and dragged it down, “Why are you here?”

“Because you got killed by little Mr. Blood God and I was waiting for you.”

“Well don’t.”

𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧, 𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧

“Hey, you son of a bitch, come back here!” Dream yelled after you. “No I’m not, you exiled Tommy out of nowhere, why, just because he was just pissing you off.” you exclaimed.

There was no reason for him to exile Tommy, and for what, power over him, “Dream, get back here, we’re not done talking about this.”

𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙛 𝙬𝙚 𝙝𝙞𝙩 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙗𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙬𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙧, 𝙄’𝙡𝙡 𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙠𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙢 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙖𝙛𝙚

"DREAM, I SWEAR TO ENDER COME BACK-" You stumbled on your words, when you were faced with a weird phenomenon. It was an exploded piece of land, and you wondered what was it. You then realized that Dream had put Tommy in that area so he could keep an eye on him. "DREAM, YOU COME HERE RIGHT NOW MISTER, I GOTTA BONE TO PICK WITH YOU."

You heard whimpering from behind a tree, and you slowly walked towards it when you saw a messed up Tommyinnit, clothes ripped in various places to the point where they weren’t even clothes, feet barefooted, and dirt messily placed on his face, like he hadn’t ever taken a bath in his entire life.

You placed a hand in front of you, “Hey man, you ok?” He pushed your hand away and sobbed, “No, you’re the reason for this.” “What do you mean Tommy, I didn’t do this.” you inquired. “It was your stupid brother Dream, he blew up this place, he even killed my cow, Mushroom Henry.”

-

You slammed the door behind you, and stomped towards Dream, and punched him in the nose.

“OW, WHAT THE FUCK Y/N.”

“NO, YOU WHAT THE FUCK, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, TOMMY IS A CHILD, HE DOESN’T DESERVE THIS TREATMENT, YOU BARELY TREAT HIM LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, YOU KILLED MUSHROOM HENRY, BLEW UP HIS HOME, BLEW UP HIS ITEMS THAT HE SPENT MANY HOURS AND DAYS GETTING, WHY DREAM, WHY DO YOU LIKE GIVING PEOPLE SUFFERING IN THIS SERVER. I’M SICK OF YOU AND YOUR TREATMENT TOWARDS EVERYONE, IT’S LIKE YOU OWN THE PLACE.” you rambled, getting every thought out of your head.

You were infuriated with Clay, the way he treated everyone was sickening.

𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙚’𝙡𝙡 𝙗𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙝 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧, 𝙪𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙡 𝙬𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙮 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙𝙗𝙮𝙚 𝙤𝙣 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙙𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙙𝙖𝙮

“The reason why I didn’t tell you is because I knew you would be mad.” he tried to reason with you. “NO, WHAT YOU DID WAS INSANE, HE’S A CHILD DREAM, HE’S 17, AND YOU’RE PRACTICALLY TORTURING HIM. You deserve to go into prison.”

𝘽𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧, 𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧, 𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧, 𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧

Everyone gathered around Dream, waiting for him to retaliate against Tommy, but he didn’t, he knew his inevitable fate, his fate to live the rest of his sad life in prison, with barely to none human interaction.

“Dream, I told you months ago that you deserved prison, and you finally got it, I hope you rot in prison, feel the flesh seep off your bones, hope you feel the pain that you gave Tommy during exile during your painful time.” You stated him in his eyes, trying to reflect the betrayal through yours.

𝙄𝙛 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙙𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙠𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙨, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙘𝙪𝙚 𝙢𝙚, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙙𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙩 𝙨𝙚𝙖, 𝙄’𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙢𝙮 𝙡𝙪𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙨𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙚

“Hey Y/n.” Sam said. “Hey Mister Prison Guard, how you doing?” you joked. “Ummm, normally I wouldn’t do this, but Dream needs you right now.” You paused your joking face and blankly stared at Sam, “What do you mean he needs me?”

“Um, he wants you to visit him, now normally I would brush his request right off, but he keeps on nagging-” You cut off Sam, “It’s ok, I’ll visit, but only for a short period of time.”

-

You got to the prison with Sam, when you had to go through a whole process of setting your bed, getting a whole bunch of potions thrown at you, setting your items in a locker, etc.

You were standing in front of the lava wall, waiting for Sam to do something, “Y/n, are you sure of this?” he questioned. “Yeah.” you shrugged.

Sam pressed a few buttons, and the lava slowly fell down, making a big clearing, for you to see your brother.

Brother, you couldn’t believe Clay was related to you, you were ashamed, you couldn’t even be around Tommy. “Go on the honey block, and move with it.” Sam demanded of you. You standed on the block, and waited for Sam. “Ok Y/n, see you on the other side.” “See you on the other side Sam.” you saluted him.

The honey block began to move, and you with it. It went on and on, until you reached the obsidian prison that held Dream.

“Hello brother.”

“Hello Dream.”

There was a moment of silence until you spoke up, “Why did you call me here?” “I don’t know, I just wanted some company.” “Company, company, I have important stuff I need to go do and you just wanted plain old company, that’s bullshit, tell me the real reason.”

He rolled his eyes, “What if I just wanted to hang out with my little bro?” “That isn’t your ulterior motive, Dream.”

“Well, seriously, I do want to hang out with you, I have no one in here.”

“Good.”

“Ahhh, so I get that you’re upset with me.” he chided. “I’m more than mad are you I’m fur-” “Yadadada, I’ve heard this speech a bunch of times.”

You stared at him with confusing lacing your eyes, “When did you become this way?” “What do you mean?” he asked. “So manipulative and deceiving, how?” “I’m not manipulative.” argued Dream. “Yeah, sure, and I wasn’t adopted, Dream, why did you become this, this instrument of destruction, where is the big brother I know, the one who allowed me to sleep in his bed when I had nightmares, the brother that would help me with enchanting my items, where is that Dream?” Your eyes started to water, Clay didn’t go along with his promise, he messed up everything, you both where supposed to go through everything together, every little single thing.

“I’m sorry, Y/n/n.”

“Sorry doesn’t cut it, you aren’t allowed to call me Y/n/n, only my family calls me that.”

You looked back, heading towards the wall of lava, calling out for Sam to take you back to the real world, where Dream’s presence isn’t there. You said one last thing, “You’ll never be my family, not while you continuously hurt people I care for, consider me a nuisance in your life, a little bug that you need to get rid of, you know what, just don’t consider me as anything, not anymore.”

(An oh break)

𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧, 𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧

“It’s ok Y/n, I’m here, I promise I will never let anyone hurt you, never.”

That flashback, he swore to protect you through the rough times. I guess he didn’t fulfill his promise, he hurt you. The one he sworn to protect with his whole being, with his heart and soul, with everything he had until he crumbled.

(This was emotional damn, I cried during the prison part a little bit, just a little tearing up)