#he was an artist and also had a boyfriend
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Perfect - Logan Howlett x ftm!Reader
A/N: Okay, so I really hope this is good. I based the Reader off myself, so I hope the reactions and frustration are at least somewhat accurate. I also added a little bit of angst. Hope thatâs okay
Based on this request
CW: fluff, angst, Reader has AuDHD, Reader is an artist, frustration, anger, perfectionism, pacing as stimming, Logan is a good boyfriend, Reader is called handsome, Reader is his own worst critic, forehead kisses, cheesy ending, soft ending
699 words
âLogan!â You almost jump out of your seat, not expecting to look up and see him standing there.
Itâs a habit of his, moving silently. It scares the shit out of you most days. Youâve nearly gotten hurt jumping out of surprise.
Today you just drop your sketch pad, your pencil falling to the floor. You bend down to pick them up, setting them to the side.
âYou said you wanted to see me?â Logan quirks an eyebrow, watching you with an expression of vague amusement.
âOh! Yeah!â You grin up at him. âI wanna draw you.â
He blinks and tilts his head a little. âWhat?â
You nod eagerly and get up, pacing a little. âI saw an art challenge online about drawing something you love. So I want to draw you.â
He snorts, watching you move about the room. âYouâre fucking cheesy, you know that?â
You give him your best puppy eyes. After a moment, he lets out a sigh. âFine. But Iâm not wearing a shirt for it.â
You hesitate for only a moment before agreeing. Itâll be fine. Youâre great at drawing. Thisâll be a piece of cake.
Youâre on your fourth attempt and itâs only getting worse. You donât know why, but you just canât get the shape of his stomach right. No matter what angle or line you use, it looks⌠odd.
You exhale in frustration, feeling overwhelmed. Youâve never struggled so much before. Why now? Why now? Why with Logan?
âHey, hey.â He crouches next to you, resting a hand on your thigh. âCalm down. Just breathe, alright? Itâs just a drawing.â
âItâs not!â You donât mean to snap, but the frustration feels endless. âItâs a drawing of you! It had to be perfect!â
You get up out of your chair and stalk about the room, clenching and unclenching your fists. Tapping them angrily against your sides. âIâve done this like a million times before! Why not now?â
Logan watches you for a moment. Then he picks up one of your abandoned sketches and smoothes it out. âThis one looks pretty good to me.â
You barely glance over. âItâs not good enough.â
He frowns.âItâs good enough for me. I like it a lot. Especially the way you draw my eyes.â
That gives you pause. You stop your angry pacing and turn to look. He holds up the drawing for you to see. If you ignore the stomach and the unfinished arm⌠you guess he has a point. You did capture his eyes well⌠and his shoulders. Those were hard.
You cross your arms, giving yourself a moment of sulking before you sigh and relent. You hate fighting with Logan and you donât want to start arguing over something he genuinely seems to like. Even if itâs not perfect.
With a soft grumble, you walk over and tuck yourself into his side. Wrapping your arms around his waist and snuggling into him. It helps soothe the last of your frustration. Calming the burning restlessness in your limbs, even just a little.
He rests an arm around you, still studying the drawing. You eye it with a light glare, but hold back from commenting on everything wrong with the drawing.
âItâs perfect,â Logan says, finally. âMy favorite.â
You blink up at him. His⌠favorite? Out of all your drawings, this is his favorite? âWhâ Why?â
âI dunno.â He shrugs. âI just love it.â
You think itâs absolutely ridiculous he doesnât have a reason, but you donât say that aloud. Instead you just nod. âAlright.â
He gives your side a soft squeeze. âYou good now, handsome?â
You roll your eyes at the nickname but nod. âYeah. Iâm good.â
He presses a kiss to your forehead. âGood. Because itâs my turn now. Iâm drawing you.â
You fake a groan of protest, but willingly head over to the couch. âI expect a full scale portrait. Complete with horses and a golden chariot.â
He chuckles. âYeah, yeah. Iâll do my best. Just sit down.â
You grin as you sit. Maybe your drawings didnât turn out perfect, but your boyfriend certainly did. Maybe not for anyone else, but perfect for you. And you wouldnât want him any other way.
Logan Howlett Taglist: @yhlqmdlg @alekkkkssss
#wolverine#logan howlett#ftm!reader#trans male reader#dividers by saradika#wolverine x ftm!reader#wolverine x ftm reader#wolverine x trans male reader#wolverine x you#wolverine x reader#logan howlett x trans male reader#logan howlett x ftm reader#logan howlett x you#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x ftm!reader#x ftm!reader#x ftm reader#ftm reader#x trans male reader#x transmasc reader#transmasc reader#trans reader#x trans reader
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sometimes I like to think about gay people.
#mainly byler#and occasionally luberto#and my great uncle who died before i was born but was seemingly fucking awesome#he was an artist and also had a boyfriend#my mom told me about him but i heard her talking one of our other family members and she said she has one if his drawings#AND SHE NEVER SHOWED ME#but also nick and charlie#thats pretty rare though#byler#mike wheeler#will byers#byler tumblr#will x mike#mike x will#byler endgame#heartstopper#also im using gay as a general term for queer#i know thar nick is bi
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Artblock hit me like a truck and in honor of defeating it here's a shitpost
#pushing my solosim agenda onto u guys#i would've made solomon a parasite alongside mc but the voices in my head said âmake em gayerâ#and i cant say no to em đđđ#anyways some backstories for the pfps:#simeon's pfp is the one time he had to go on a trip alone and was able to snap an okay picture (not lore accurate. still think its awesome)#solomon's is literally just his cooking but i also drew this when i had no wifi sooo i forgot what it looked like so its kinda half assed#can you tell i lost motivation for luke.#anyways he didnt like the basic profile he was given so he doodled a little drawing and made it his pfp. my son is an artist be nice#and mc is for shits and giggles. mc was high in the making of their pfp okay#obey me simeon#obey me solomon#obey me luke#obey me sheep mc#obey me mc#simeon#solomon#luke#sheep mc#mc#i think i should probably tagged solosim?? i mean i dont think in any way simeon would call ANYONE boyfriend platonically#or girlfriend... or... partner for u nonbinary folksâźď¸âźď¸âźď¸#yea i'll definitely tag solosim#solosim#solomeon#solomon x simeon#simeon x solomon#its BARELY there but i wanna be able to find em okay đđđ#obey me#simsolo#purg hall fam đ
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wading in waist-high water / wading in sight of fire
#artists on tumblr#art#oc#illustration#digital art#my art#tian#[ LDR VOICE ] MY BOYFRIEND'S* BACK AND HE'S COOLER THAN EVER#* MY FAV BRUSH#* TIAN ALSO#idk why i took so long to import it like it took fewer than 2mins to send the abr over đ¤Ą#did this w unprecedented speed..... excited to draw again ig and also had to adj the brush settings for procreate a bit#anyway [ blows a kiss 2 the sky ] for tian tian#and this stupid brush
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The inconveniences of your boyfriend being a⌠psychic? Budding demigod of fate? Eh
#I like to play with the idea that Liam always even from the beginning of their friendship knew Finn was going to die#becAUSE I love that sort of dynamic!! like he held off telling him so Finn wouldnât spend his last months worrying constantly#but then ALSO Liam wondered if itâs best to tell Finn because itâs- you know- how he dies??#and maybe he decided to start being nicer to Finn when he realized how soon Finn would die and wanted to make his short life better#but what he DID NOT expect to happen was falling in love with Finn!! oooooh thatâs good stuff thatâs totally never been done before ahaha#(it absolutely has)#and he tries everything in his power to change that fate but everything he tries just brings them closer to it#because thatâs the path theyâre meant to follow all along#I should explain this power btw:#if Liam looks into someoneâs eyes he had the ability to see how theyâll die and that often also meant when if it was soon enough#he got that power taken away later because he resurrected his boyfriend without permission smh#I was going to make a real multi-panel comic but I remembered I hate making comics lol#my ocs#my art#digital art#procreate#artists on tumblr#digital illustration#illustration#original art#doodle#art#original character art#original character#oc#oc art tag#oc artwork#artwork#drawing#digital doodle
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Making better memories at the beach.
#gob bluth#will arnett#tony wonder#ben stiller#arrested development#arrested development fanart#blunder#blunder fanart#if you canât read it their shirts say âheâs my boyfriend ->â and âIâm my boyfriendâ#I wrote it messed up on purpose#I had no way to charge my devices this week since I had no internet or electricity#so I challenged myself to do entirely traditional art#I hated it#Iâm being hyperbolic#but also oy vey#unpleasantries#I respect you traditional artists#idk how you do it
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The fact that you don't consider yourself "pretty" is mindblowing to me. You are literally STUNNING. Like, here I am mindlessly scrolling through tumblr, and your art pops up and I'm like WOW GENO! I'M LOVE... and then you post a selfie and it's like... đłđłđł welp.... casual reminder from boots that I'm definitely fucking gay because LORDY IS THAT WOMAN ATTRACTIVE. So yes, you are GORGEOUS and if your IRL friends think you aren't? They're probably either wrong, or like, idk... WRONG.
'casual reminder from boots that i'm definitely fucking gay' lol omg best compliment ever <3 thank you!
#When you grow up with a bully of a mother who also is alcoholic and thinks you are ugly and need to work to make yourself prettier#It kinda sucks#And that friend of mine all those years ago was mean when all i did was want to be her lol#Like she was beautiful and popular and a great artist and hung out with the cool art kids#and i was...not#Men are mean too i dont think i have ever had a single boyfriend tell me i was pretty#Well nick says it all the time but he lies and asks out my much hotter friends behind my back so lmao nope doesnt count#i will care about that man forever but i trust him as far as i can throw him
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Iâm going to sleep because i just checked and i am truly somehow seven hours deep working on this comic and i have an early lecture i cant miss bUT. sneak peeks at an upcoming Melshian comic involving the origins of Wooly The Emotional Support Tooka.
#plan is to have it done by thursday.#this is the first comic in a while that iâve actually like *scripted* and planned as much as i have. wild.#i was going to use this day off to work on a personal project (also a comic because ig im consistent on one front) but here we are 7 hrs in#The artistic inspo for Wooly comes from Stitch and also from those curly haired cats.#oats.png#cassian andor#ruescott melshi#melshian#melshiâs smirk in the last one is specifically his realizing that his boyfriend is SUCH a failgirl and he loves it#gonna guess the majority of the time i spent was because i had to rework all the speech bubbles twice
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was the social media site vk because h. hi I roleplayed warrior cats on vk when I was like 9đ¤
oh no it was way worse than vk. it was ok (odnoklassniki)đ
#iâve never used vk#well. okay. i have used it exactly Once sometime when i was 10#to not only impersonate a popular emo dog artist. but to also pretend to be my friendâs boyfriend so that she could piss off her ex or#something like that. i dont even remember if that worked but i know that i did reveal it to be Not True at one point#and me and the guy had a nice conversation#and then i never used vk again because. well. ihave no reason to use it first of all. second of all i hate that place and i would rather be#crucified than forced to interact with strictly russian communities#but anyway you would think thatâs the end of the story. HOWEVER like a month or two ago my friend messaged me like#âhey do you use vk?â and i was like. No. You know i dont. and he was like âhmm. ok. well that explains why you havenât been responding to my#memes since septemberâ and i went WHAT? <- guy who completely forgot he still had his vk account#so i logged back in and to my horror. the account did indeed still exist. it was all there the fake bio the impersonation the drawings that#werenât mine. it felt like i found a corpse under the floorboards of my attic#so anyway i wasted no time in deactivating the account. so all ends well that ends well#i think#cramswering#but yeah anon we are shaking hands in solidarity because i also roleplayed cat oc family on odnoklassniki among with lion king oc family#it wasnât wc just cat characters that were. emo. and awfully designed#damn i sure liked my emo cats and emo dogs
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I am genuinely so terrified of the fact that I have to find a job now. I'm trying to think of or look up a job that's suitable for my mentally ill autistic ass and I just. I don't know. Everything either requires some very specific qualifications that I don't have, or seems at best awfully exhausting, at worst literally putting me in danger. And I'm not even exaggerating, I genuinely think that working in retail, for example, could possibly kill me if I was forced to do that job for long enough. I sometimes get overwhelmed to the point of crying when there's too many other customers while I'm shopping, I can't imagine working in an environment like that. I suppose physical jobs could work, I've been to this blueberry plantation twice last week and mentally I was fine, but it was. So tiring. And you don't even make that much money a day, I don't think I could earn enough even if I did work there everyday, not to mention it's only a seasonal job. Right now it's fine for me to go there every now and then, but if I wanted to move out and become independent I'd have to get an actual day job. And that sounds impossible. The only job that sounds good to me is being an artist, it's not too mentally or physically difficult, and it's something I enjoy. But I'd have to get commissions constantly or start a small business or something like that to actually survive. And I'm not saying it's impossible, I know that people can live by being an artist, but it's so hard to get into that field. I wish I could do it but I dont know if it's possible for me. Makes me wanna cry. I hate this I hate that my brain isn't suited for this world and still I have to participate in all that shit that everyone has to do. My brain isn't made for working like that
#I've talked about this a lot with my sister who is also autistic#and were both like. on a similar level of autism i dont know how to properly explain it#were functioning in similar ways i guess#and we both agreed that we're in this awkward spot of being autistic#where we're not suited for living in this world the way we're expected#but we're good enough at surviving that we can't really ask for help#like from the government or smth#im not sure if im making sense#but like neither of us ever had a normal job for longer than a few days#she's incredibly lucky bc her boyfriend (also autistic lol) has rich parents#so he's able to have a small business where hes making youtube content and games and merch#and he gets financial support from his parents. so he can have the job he feels comfortable with and enjoys#and my sister is now able to work with him. theyre both making their silly little games and trinkets and are able to live normally#which is just so great for her i love that. im also so jealous lmao#and then theres me who also is made for creating art and not much else but im not lucky enough to be able to do that and survive#idk. my mom is great and doesn't put too much pressure on me. she was the one to take me to that blueberry job#and she really supprts my plans to be an artist full time#but still. thats really difficult to do. ugh#sometimes i wish that i either wasnt autistic at all or was 'less functioning' so at least i could get some help with living#bee buzz
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ok for real I know they were limited in their options for explaining Stilesâ actions because DOB didnt come back but like SERIOUSLY. I have so many questions and complaints and not even all of them are Stydia relatedâŚ.. spoilers obviously
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Uhhh I canât figure out how to add a read more on mobile sorry folks hopefully this is a good enough buffer !!!!!
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DidâŚ. Did anyone bother to tell Stiles that Allison is alive? ďżź are we meant to believe that nobody did?? or whatâs worse, that he was told and he just didnât come to Beacon Hills or call or anything?
On that note, are we actually supposed to believe â and I am not a Sterek girlie by any means, love and light to yâall but itâs just not my cup of tea â that Derek fucking DIED and there was a whole ass memorial service that Stiles just didnât bother to show up to???? HELLO????
I mean itâs also nearing levels of âspn finale Dean Winchester endingâ stupid that Derek died in the first place, given ďżźthat his whooooole character arc (by my book, anyway) is springing from the place of his trauma, and the way that he has blamed himself, struggled with guilt and loneliness and has been atoning for all of the pain of what he perceives to be personal failures the ENTIRE TIME, never letting himself get too close to people, never asking for help, and instead sacrificing for and nurturing Scott as the ideal alpha that he feels he couldnât be⌠I donât know. It just feels like a needless sacrifice to me, like there are so many ways that you can restrain someone and prevent them from moving from the place where you need to. Oh I donât know burn them alive ?maybe? Which donât involve sacrificing yourself and burning alive yourself, right in front of your son and the rest of your loved ones. I know again there are production factors at play, maybe itâs likely that they knew damn well Tyler H wouldnât or couldnât come back for another movie so they decided to kill off his character?? but suffice to say I was not happy with that at all (and not in the way I think it was INTENDED to upset me.)
Anyway, I know that Stiles needed to be absent because Dylan OâBrien was not a part of this movie, but if Iâm being honest, I kind of would rather that Stiles had died ! Obviously I love Stilesâs character and itâs not that I want him dead at all!! itâs just. if they were going to fully send it, and they know heâs not coming back, and they knew that they were going to make up this premonition dream to break up Stydia ďżźďżźand (poorly) explain his absence, then it wouldâve done a lot better to make that separation as permanent as in life and death. The Stiles we know would never want to be separated from the people he loves as much as he has been now because of all of the external, real life factors. In fact, the season arc with the ghost riders proved to us just how far Stiles can and would go to be present! It was aaaactually a whole thing ! So, if Iâm being honest⌠(1) the way that he and Lydia parted, (2) the way that he isnât present or even mentioned in the light of his loved ones dying/being resurrected, and (3) again the fact that he wasnât even at Derekâs memorial ⌠it all feels like a silent character assassination to me. It feels like the mentioning of âStilesâ in this new canon contains less essence of Stiles than it wouldâve if he had died. I know itâs easy to have a hater moment and make criticisms and piss and moan about how I wouldâve done it better, and I know itâs not always as easy as it sounds⌠but JESUS CHRIST
Also congrats to the sterek girlies on your own personal y yo a ti moment��âŚthat jeep shit was CRAZY
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#this is only like an iceberg tip of the things I have to say about this movie#like thereâs a clear estrangement between some of the main characters that honestly..stiles feared! we know he did#and we know how hard he fought to hold onto everyone#like he was the glue between them and it wouldâve been so sad to see that confirmed. he really WAS the glue#seriously. stiles dies. they all fall apart into little groups and fragments pieces of my HEART!!!! I wouldâve bawled.#we couldâve had a closed casket funeral flashback! Scott tries to take Maliaâs hand and she pulls away. boom Scali breakup explained!#*��scalia (obvi)#and I feel it wouldâve been more evocative emotionally to see Lydia grapple with guilt#that stiles died (in her mind at least) because she was too selfish to heed her powerâs warning and keep away from him#it wouldâve made the moments where Eli is SOOO similar to stiles HURT more for us as an audience AND to the characters who would see it too#like. raise the stakes! heighten Derekâs (and all of their) fierce protectiveness for this baby !!#make us ACHE thinking about the cycle of it all. how this kid is Scott but heâs also stiles and heâs (literally) a little bit of Derek andâ#also this is another thing but Iâm also pissed that Liam and Mason had like ZERO interactions lmfao theyre fucking besties ??? or#if theyâre not anymore then you should TELL US THAT!!!#I wanna know why Scalia broke up and why sheâs fucking Parrish FR#for REALLLL itâs so left field and donât get me started on what they did to her character and how it highlights Stilesâ absence further#also I miss Theo. to ME heâs under the Haleâs wings. to ME heâs a mechanic and an artist and him and Liam are boyfriends. haters stay mad#TAKES A DEEP BREATH.#okay I think Iâm done for now#I canât figure out how to add a read more on mobile so I hope tagging for spoilers will be good enough (!)#teen wolf#teen wolf movie#teen wolf movie spoilers#teen wolf spoilers#tw#âŚ. I mentioned Dean so.#supernatural finale#supernatural spoilers#alright. bases covered?#long post
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MY SHITTY FUCKING ROOMMATES ARE FINALLY MOVING OUT SOON AND I CANNOT BE FUCKING HAPPIER. IT'S GOING TO BE SO GOOD. THEY ARE FUCKING OFF (I ASSUME BACK TO HELL WHERE THEY CAME FROM BUT I'M EVEN FINE WITH IT IF THEY JUST FUCK OFF TO A DIFFERENT APPARTMENT I DONT CARE) AAAAHHHHHHHHH I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR SO LONG I AM SO FUCKING RELIEVED.
#SHE LET HER BOYFRIEND COME OVER WHEN SHE KNEW HE WAS POSITIVE WITH COVID#ALSO WHEN HE HAD SCABIES#ALSO SHE TRIED TO REFUSE TO PAY RENT LITERALLY THE FIRST MONTH SHE WAS HERE FOR SOME REASON#AND BROKE MY BLENDER WHICH SHE USED EVEN THOUGH I ASKED HER NOT TO#AND BROKE THE SHOWER BUT THEN PRETENDED LIKE SHE DIDN'T#AND HAS HER BOYFRIEND OVER LITERALLY EVERY DAY LIKE DOES THAT GIANT GROSS STRANGER LIVE HERE NOW CUZ I DONT SEE HIM PAY RENT#AND SHE IS JUST GENERALLY CLUELESS WITH EVERYTHING#I HONESTLY STILL DON'T KNOW IF ITS WEAPONIZED INCOMPETENCE OR IF HER PARENTS JUST FORGOT TO RAISE HER NGL#SHE STUDIED ART BECAUSE HER PARENTS ARE RICH AND NOW SHE IS IN THE CHILD CARE PIPELINE WHERE ALL TERRIBLE ARTISTS END UP#GOD I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL SHE FUCKS OFF WITH HER TRUSTFUND AND HER BOYFRIEND#OH SHE ALSO ALMOST LET MY CAT JUMP OUT OF THE WINDOW
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blank canvas. (2)
after offering a painful ultimatum to finally be enough for him, things ultimately get worse as he decides between keeping you or losing you as the only resolution.
pairings. ryĹmen sukuna, fem!reader
genre. florist x tattoo artist au, mild angst, opposites attract
tags/warnings. strong language, defloration (kinda), explicit smut, undertones of manipulation and gaslighting, toxic relationship, undertones of cheating
notes. 11.2k wc! thanks for the love on bc1, i didn't expect it to gain traction at all but tyty. last part will come soon, but that will be the final chapter to this mini-series.
part 1 | part 3
The ride back home was uncomfortable.Â
It wasnât because you had promised to give yourself to him that night, but rather because his uncharacteristic silence was not what you had expected after delivering your ultimatum. You already proposed a wonderful solution to his needs, so why was he acting like you were the one being ridiculous? This was why you hated it whenever Sukuna chose silence over open communication, as it left you a hard time guessing about what was running through his mind. His expression didnât offer any clues either, because he did pretty well at concealing his emotions behind a facade of indifference.
When you said you would do it with him, you meant it. But what did he think of it?Â
The sharp wind cut through your skin, the roar of his motorbike deafening your ears as your boyfriend accelerated his vehicle upon entering the tunnel. The vibrant yellow lights offered a cinematic view, tempting you to imagine yourself embracing the wind with open arms, though you knew better than to do so. Instead, you held onto him tightly, wrapping your arms around his waist and leaning forward as he sped through the empty lane.
It was nearing midnight, and the sparse traffic allowed Sukuna to indulge in one of his habits: riding his bike in the late hours of the night through this particular tunnel and onto the highway. You knew this ritual helped him clear his mind since it offered a rush of danger that sharpened his focus on the road. His choice to take this route tonight also only confirmed to you that he was grappling with internal thoughts. The last time he rode this fast was when your parents made you choose between them and him, slapping it in his face that he was and would never be welcomed in your family.Â
To be honest, it frightened you. The speed at which he was riding was dangerous for both of you. Moreover, his bike was a YZF-R1, although street-legal, it was still a high-performance sport bike more suited for the track. It required agile and precise handling with its 1000cc engine. Yet, no other vehicle seemed more fitting for Sukuna than this.Â
Whatever was on his mind, he didnât care to let you know. You two didnât really speak throughout the ride while you clung to him like a backpack, praying in your head that you two wouldnât get into an accident. Thankfully enough, he did safely take you home as you arrived at your shared apartment at exactly midnight.Â
âPlease donât ride like that again,â you muttered as he helped you out of his motorbike. âYou couldâve gotten us killed.âÂ
His fingers then reached to unclasp your helmet, pulling it up to reveal your face. âWell, weâre still alive.âÂ
You looked at his face despite his best effort to avoid yours, standing centimeters apart while he switched off the engine. He didnât return your gaze as though he was drowned by guilt. Should you speak at this? Or should you let him do it first?Â
âBaby.â After a minute or so, it was your boyfriend who sighed and finally gave in, pulling you close and resting his forehead against yours. He kept his eyes closed even when he was cupping your cheeks. âYou donât have to do this.âÂ
Yes, you certainly shouldnât. You didnât have to do things unwillingly, but that wouldnât change the fact that this on-going issue was putting a strain on your relationship and this would be your last shot at trying to salvage it. And you couldnât have him looking for sensual gratification from anyone else other than you, so what other option did you have, really?Â
âI want to do it.âÂ
âNot if youâre forcing yourself like this.â
You raised an eyebrow. âWho said Iâm forcing myself?â
âYour face tells me you are,â replied he, staring at your face in defeat. âSo, letâs notââ
âWhat, and let this issue haunt us over and over?â You smiled bitterly, shaking your head adamantly. âThis has to be done. I need to experience it so Iâll finally understand.â
Understand what? His face almost spelled out those words, but he chose not to say anything of the sort and instead leaned in to kiss your forehead. âAlright. Iâll make it memorable.âÂ
â â
Easier said than done, of course. You kept overthinking about whether your performance would be satisfactory to him given that you didnât have enough experience to learn anything at all, aside from the make out sessions that you did once in a blue moon. Around thirty minutes of your time was spent hyperanalyzing your situation in the shower, while the other half of it was spent doing a little more than your nightly routines. Since Sukuna liked powdery scents, you placed a good effort in applying lavender-scented oil and perfume on every inch of your body. You also shaved any unwanted hair, especially on all the intimate places you knew he would be seeing. And by the time you were done, you stepped out of the bathroom blooming like a fresh flower, wrapped in nothing but a thin towel that hugged your womanly figure.Â
It didnât feel right at all. It didnât feel good knowing that you were preparing yourself like that, when these things should only happen on the first night after your wedding. It didnât feel great that you were going to lose your virginity to a man who had not even proposed to you. This wasnât even your honeymoon, but you had to pretend like it was.Â
Did Sukuna feel the same?Â
He wasnât lying in bed when you walked out of the bathroom. Instead, he had just returned from outsideâshirtless, wearing his favorite gray sweatpants, and holding a box of condoms and a tube of lube in his hand. It was clear he had made a quick visit to the convenience store nearby and got the essentials for your first night.
Immediately, he eyed your towel-wrapped body with restrained lust, clearing his throat as he walked towards the nightstand. âYou look nice.âÂ
Really? Did he really have to make this more awkward than it already was?Â
âThank you,â was all you could softly reply. It was funny how he pretended to be busy placing the box and tube above the bedside table instead of lunging at you like a desperate man. But because you wanted to get this over with, you were the one who approached him from behind, wrapping your arms around his waist, and touching the firmness of his abs. For someone who had zero experience, you were definitely trying hard enough and that should please him. âYou have to help me out here, my love. Guide me.âÂ
When Sukuna turned around, your heart started racing. Of excitement? Maybe. Of anxiety? Perhaps. He made it better though when he finally caved in and looked straight into your eyes, tucking a few strands of hair behind your ear before lifting your chin with his hand. âYou smell extra nice, too,â he added, leaning close enough that you could feel his warm breath fanning your face.Â
You were feeling it now. The equal lust. The carnal desire. The feeling of his sweet kisses, which he made true as soon as he crashed his lips onto yours. His kisses usually ranged from tender to rough, but this time, it was an altogether different type of kiss. It was passionate and demonstrative, as if showing you exactly what he had been wanting to do to you the first time you got together. This must be the result of being celibate in over a year. He was clearly a man deprived of sexual pleasure, and you were responsible for it. You actually turned him into a monk.Â
Now, he wasnât holding anything back anymore. With his hand on your nape, he deepened the kiss to the point where you could feel his tongue exploring your mouth. You followed whatever he was doing like a good girl, like a very good girl, as he completely devoured your mouth with his. It didnât take long for him to advance his kisses in other places too, being your jawline his next target, and then your neck as he feathered kisses around the soft flesh, leaving marks that would need a few days to be concealed.Â
Because his arms were tight around your waist, yours were locked around his neck. Where else should you be putting them? What does the girl usually do in this situation? You tried not to think much of it and listened to your own body while your boyfriend was sucking the skin around your collarbone. At first, your hand traced his toned chest, then it moved southwards to feel his abs, and further down to hisâŚ
âY-Youâre hard.â Your eyes widened as you felt his growing erection behind the fabric of his sweatpants. It wasnât your first time seeing his boner, but it was the first time you touched it with your own hand. It was the first time you had your palm stroking his length, swallowing hard as you realized just how hard and thick he was.Â
âIt wants to be inside you,â he whispered through your mouth, kissing you back again, âso bad, baby.âÂ
Gosh. Your knees felt weak and you two hadnât even really started yet. How much more when he starts putting that thing of his inside you? You were breathing hard, trying to catch air as your boyfriend continued to lap his tongue with yours, guiding your hand to continue fondling his wood while it grew bigger the more stimulated it got. By letting you touch his hardened crotch together with his own, you realized that you had just unlocked a newfound fetish of yours. âD-Do you⌠do you think about doing it with me often?â
He bit your lower lip before pulling away, animalistic eyes sending you into an orbit of pleasure. âDo you mean if I touch myself to the thought of you a lot?â he teased, chuckling darkly at the obvious heat on your cheeks. You couldnât help but feel excited at how vulgar he could be with his words. âI do jack off a lot, angel. And itâs always you in my mind.âÂ
You didnât even have the time to melt from his words, because before you knew it, he was already peeling the towel off your body to reveal your completely naked figure. Obviously, your first reaction was to get shyâwith your heated cheeks, your inability to look him in the eyes, your little efforts in covering your breasts and crotch, but he made sure to pull your hands away while keeping his eyes on you. ââŚDonât stare.âÂ
Sukuna, however, didnât listen. His dark eyes scanned every curve of your body, particularly around your chest area before he sighed and threw his head back. âFuck,â he cussed under his breath. âYouâre so fucking sexy. I canât believe no other punk has seen you like this.âÂ
Your confidence grew little by little because of his praises. âBut isnât that a good thing?âÂ
âFor sure.â He almost laughed at his own words, more so in disbelief, before he reached out to touch your bosom. âNo one can touch you like this, either, baby.âÂ
âThatâsââ
âHmm?â Your boyfriend smirked at your reaction. While his other hand went to squeeze your breast, the other traveled to your bum, squeezing the cheek with equal fervor. âCan I have a taste of you, baby?â
He fondled your breasts with both hands now, massaging the rounded mass like they were his property. You had to admit to yourself that the feeling of being touched actually transcended your expectations. Or maybe it was only because of how erotic it was, but you couldnât deny how turned on you were as his veiny, manly hands cupped your bosom.Â
And as soon as you nodded and permitted him to âtasteâ you, he took no time in gently pushing you down the mattress, allowing you to lay at a comfortable position under him and his wanton stare. Taste you? He was more like eating you, when he pinned you against the mattress and sucked the skin on your chest. At first, his tongue rolled along your cleavage, inching closer and closer to your right breast while he had his hand squeezing the left. Your body naturally gravitated towards him as you arched your back so he could have better access to your chest. Not only your chest, but also your crotch as he started grinding his clothed manhood in between your folds.Â
âMmâŚâ
Sukunaâs mouth was on your breast now, suckling on your flesh and playing his tongue around your nipple. You couldnât tell if it was pleasurable or painful because his tongue felt ticklish on your skin, but the suction definitely was an entirely different feeling. Both werenât bad, anyway. They were just new to you. But even if they were foreign, you were curious and all the more interested, studying every little thing he was doing with your body and trying to make mental notes out of it.Â
Maybe you should have watched porn. That way, you could have been more aware of the step-by-step process of having sex. Who knew there were steps to follow at all? You didnât think that foreplay could draw this much delay in your session because all you thought was that he was going to insert his cock straight inside you as soon as he saw you naked.Â
With all the touching, fondling, and kissing⌠what were you supposed to do? He was doing all the work here.Â
âBaby,â you spoke softly, staring at the ceiling, âC-Can I⌠touch you?âÂ
Instead of pulling away, his mouth latched onto your left boob, giving it the same attention before moving south. âNot yet.âÂ
When he said that, you didnât expect his hand to land on your crotch. Your heart was thumping at an irregular rhythm as you felt his fingers moving in circles around your bud, playing with your clit before spreading your folds apart. âNghhâ!â you let out an embarrassingly loud moan, eyes widening at the sound of your voice, but your boyfriend shushed you by placing a peck on your lips before spreading your legs into a V.Â
âYouâre so wet,â he said, pointing out the obvious as he positioned himself in between your legs, spreading your labia to reveal your entrance. Something about the situation made you increasingly self-conscious, but his undeniably hungry gaze kept you from covering your most sensitive area. It seemed like he was enjoying the sight of your pussy, especially with how wet and âuntouchedâ it was. âYour pussyâs so pretty, baby,â he mumbled, lowering his face closer to the area, âCanât wait to put my dick inside it.âÂ
You whimpered at the feeling of his tongue in between your folds. No, you couldnât even think straight after he started teasing your vagina, alternating between flicking his tongue around your bud to french kissing your entrance. His tongue was so deep in your cavern that you were raising your hips involuntarily, going insane from the pleasure it sent your body. Your hands even gripped the sheets and your back arched into a C as you held back from moaning like a wild animal. At some point, the slurping sounds and the feeling of his mouth kissing your vagina had your legs shaking.Â
Though, you could ask yourself: what turned you on the most? Was it him actually eating your pussy or just the idea of him doing it?Â
And just when you thought he was done, he replaced his mouth by inserting a finger inside your cunt, garnering a much louder whimper out of you. âB-Baby!â
âDoes it hurt?â he asked, eyes locked with yours as he slowly moved his middle finger in and out. âItâs so tight.âÂ
âIt hurtsâŚâ You nodded, feeling his finger moving in circles inside your cunt as though he was trying to get a feel of your walls, measuring the tightness and such.Â
He kissed you for a good minute. âRelax, angel. Donât clench too much.âÂ
Clench? You didnât even know you were doing such a thing. âHow toâŚ?âÂ
âJust relax.â Sukuna placed a hand on your abdomen, pressing it down while he was inserting yet another finger inside of you. âThisâll help you prepare so it wonât hurt as much later.âÂ
Now, you were goddamn nervous. What did he mean it wouldnât hurt as much? Because you were overthinking the pain of having him his actual cock inside of you. If you couldnât even bear having his two fingers inside you, how much more with his clearly thick shaft? It was ridiculous to feel both anxious and yet aroused at the same time. Anxious, because you knew he could rip you open. Aroused, because his fingers were currently doing a great job at hitting your most sensitive spot. Whatever it was that he was reaching, it was certainly sending waves of ecstasy throughout your body.Â
His fingers continued to move. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. Around. When he pulled his digits out, he sucked the juices on them, tasting every drip of your essence from his fingers. âSweet.â
Were you? You started to get curious at how he tasted, too. Sweet? Salty? Bitter? You seemed to be moving on autopilot when you pulled yourself up and sat in bed on your knees. âYour turn?âÂ
You asked the question as if you knew what you were doing, which was why Sukuna found it adorable and humorous at the same time. He did help you pull down the sweatpants that had been covering his erection for what felt like eternity, only to reveal a monstrous size that sprung out of the garment.Â
Holy fuck was all you could say.Â
He stood at the edge of the bed, a devilish smirk displayed on his saintly face as he saw the length of his cock compared to your face. You obviously hadnât seen many cocks in your lifetime to be able to compare his size, but in your eyes, he was definitely big. He was girthy. He was lengthy. He was veiny. Meaty.Â
âWanna suck it for me, baby?â he encouraged, pumping his shaft while looking at you. Fuck. âOpen your mouth.âÂ
You did as told, wrapping a hand at the base of his length while placing his tip on your mouth. You pressed your tongue flat on the surface of his tip, rolling your tongue around the head as if it were a lollipop. Was that what you were supposed to do?
âEyes on me.â His voice deepened an octave. And it was also raspier.Â
Why did he want you to look up at him? It was already embarrassing.Â
âI said, eyes on me, angel.â He grabbed your chin and forced you to lock eyes with his darkened ones. Damn. No wonder girls were desperate to see him in his shop every single day. This was probably what they had been daydreaming about. âSuck my cock.âÂ
In your head, you became a slut. In reality, you were still a shy, inexperienced virgin who didnât know what to do. You relied on his instructions and looked at his expressions to know if you were doing a good job and to see what he liked and didnât like. He definitely liked it when you sucked the head, liked it even more when you started to let him go deeper in your mouth, and surely liked it a hell lot better when you gagged after his cock hit the back of your throat. But in spite of the string of saliva that left your mouth after gagging from his cock, his arousal only grew harder, this time holding your hair in his fist as he began thrusting his hip forward. You were bobbing your head at a rhythm that satisfied him, feeling the stretch on your scalp as he tightened his grip on your hair.Â
âTighten your mouth around it,â he instructed, fucking your mouth senselessly like hitting your throat was driving him nuts. Your eyes were already filling up with tears because of your urge to gag again, but you didnât think it would be a good idea to stop now while he was just starting to pleasure himself.Â
This was the first time in your life to give someone a blowjob, and you werenât sure what to make of that experience. It personally didnât give you pleasure, but you liked hearing his desperate moans. You liked hearing him curse and get vulgar with his words. You liked seeing him get rough. His taste, on the other hand, was somewhat a different experience. Since you were only sucking his flesh, it was a tad bit salty at first contact but didnât taste anything much after tongue got used to the skin around his shaft. Perhaps his cum would have a stronger flavor, though it looked like he had no plans in releasing his load into your mouth as he pulled his member out.Â
âFuck it,â he grunted, gently pushing you back and spreading your legs wide open again, âI wanna feel your pussy so bad. Can I fuck you raw, babe?âÂ
All those condoms, and he wanted to have you raw?Â
âBut⌠I donât wanna get pregnant.âÂ
His face was full of assurance, shaking his head and denying any chance of knocking you up. âYou wonât be. Iâll pull out, I just⌠I have to feel you raw the first time. I have to.âÂ
âOkayâŚâÂ
You were nervous as hell. You had butterflies in your stomach, your heart pounding in your chest like a drumbeat you couldnât silence. You had imagined this moment countless times, but now that it was here, the reality of it was too overwhelming. Your mind yet again raced with a whirlwind of doubts and insecurities, and every nerve on your body seemed to be on high alert while you watched him getting occupied with rubbing his entire length with lube, ensuring a smooth entrance inside you.Â
He was nervous too, right? You couldnât be the only one. You couldnât be.Â
You just wanted everything to be perfect. To show him how much you cared. To feel that you were enough. But the thought was paralyzing. Tonight was more than just physical intimacy; it was a step forward in your relationship, a moment of connection you wanted so badly to cherish. This first intimate encounter should be filled with love, respect, and mutual understanding.Â
But what if after this, heâd come to realize that you werenât the one? What if heâd get disappointed and tell you that you werenât worth it? What if heâd leave you for someone else who could pleasure him better? What if, after you had given yourself to him, no one else would ever appreciate you anymore?Â
You wanted this, didnât you? You wanted to feel the heat of his touch, the intensity of his gaze, the intimacy of your connection. You wanted to explore this uncharted territory with him, to dive headfirst into the unknown and discover what lay on the other side. But were you really ready for this? Did you truly want this? Would it be everything you had imagined, or would you regret losing your virginity to him?
The fear of inadequacy gnawed at your confidence as Sukuna positioned himself back in between you, his tip rubbing at your slit a couple times before he finally sunk it into your entrance.Â
âHaaaâ!âÂ
âShh. Itâs okay, itâs gonna be okay.â
âN-No, Iâ!â
It felt like your walls were being stretched so painfully, like your flesh was being torn open in the most agonizing way. This was not the kind of pain you pictured out when he put his member inside. Sukuna even tried to grab hold of your hips to keep you steady, but you were withdrawing your hips back, wanting nothing but for him to remove his cock.Â
âIt hurts⌠It hurts⌠please, stop. Please!âÂ
âBaby, Iâm trying to be gentleââ
âI SAID STOP!âÂ
Both of your eyes widened at the same time, and that was the only time you two were ever in sync. He was clearly shocked by your outburst, while you yourself were surprised at how you raised your voice at him. Neither of you expected that situation. As a result, he did pull away and completely withdrew himself from you.Â
Frustration was evident on his visage and he couldnât even hide it anymore. âFuck this,â he spat in exasperation, taking a deep breath as he reached to slip his sweatpants back on. âI knew it.âÂ
âNo, IâŚâ You swallowed. âIt just⌠You kinda forced it, I wasnât ready.âÂ
âI forced it, really? I forced you?â His laugh was out of complete disbelief. âI never forced you into anything, angel. Iâve asked you since the beginning if this is really what you want.â He took a pause, a very uncomfortable one, before he went on murmuring, âIt was just my tip and youâre overreacting like this. Iâm not even halfway in.â
His agitation had finally awakened you to your senses, realizing that you did end up doing what you were scared of doing. You ruined the moment. You were so caught up in your bubble of negative thoughts that you had once again failed to fulfill what you were supposed to do. No wonder he was aggravated, now sitting away from you and wearing his clothes as if telling you that he was done. Done being blue balled by his own girlfriend. Done expecting something he was never really bound to have.Â
You reached out to touch his arm. âBaby, Iâm sorry⌠I just got scared, but we can stillââ
âStill do it?â he continued your sentence by ironically cutting you off, âNo, the fuck, I wonât. Iâm not in the mood anymore.âÂ
His reaction brought tears to your eyes, because the way he was acting stung your fragile heart. You didnât mean to ruin anything. More importantly, you didnât wish for everything to just turn out like this. âI-Iâm sorry. Let me try again, please.âÂ
The weakness of your voice seemed to have softened him, becoming calmer and more composed after a few minutes of contemplation, but he still held his ground when he massaged his temple and sighed. âLetâs just not push it, Y/N.â He looked at your eyes, with hurt and rejection reflecting on them. âEven if you say you wanna do it, you think I canât see it in your face that youâre not really into it? Youâre never ready for me and maybe itâs my fault, maybe thereâs something about me that youâre so scared of. Maybe itâs because you donât feel secure with me, maybe you wanna save yourself for someone better, someone who can give you a brighter futureââ
âThatâs not true!â You shook your head desperately, your eyes blurring from the pool of tears while you clung to his arm. Where was all this coming from? It sounded like he had been harboring those feelings for so long. âThatâs not true. What are you even saying?âÂ
âI donât even know what Iâm saying. Iâm justâŚâ Trying to give a reason why you wonât give it to me. That must be what he had wanted to say. âLook, I donât wanna pressure you into this bullshit anymore. I donât wanna make it look like Iâm begging for your affection like this. Intimacy should happen normally for couples, and if we canât have that, then we canât. Thatâs it.âÂ
Why did he sound like he was giving up?Â
You tried to keep your emotions at bay while listening to him battling with his internal thoughts. âI understand I disappointed you tonight, butâŚâ
He was adamant at shaking his head, distancing himself from you by getting up from the bed. âNo, you got nothinâ to apologize for. Itâs your body and your choice. Iâd never force you into anything.âÂ
Then⌠thenâŚ
âI just think itâs not the perfect time,â he continued, shooting you a glance before looking away. Each step he took added another crack on your fragile heart. âFrom now on, Iâm never gonna initiate anything intimate nor will I expect anything from you, aight? Iâm over it.â
Alone in your vulnerability, you could feel the cold air hugging your naked body as you watched him walk towards the door, leaving you in the dark both literally and figuratively. âWhere a-are you going? Come on⌠Please.âÂ
He no longer cared to turn around. He no longer bothered to comfort you as he walked away, muttering, âJust gonna go for a ride. Donât wait on me.âÂ
â â
Nearly three weeks had passed since that night and you would be lying if you said everything was okay.Â
No, everything was not okay. You could feel the distance growing each day even when you two still did everything together. Your normal routines didnât feel normal anymore because he was acting too detached ever since he told you that he wouldnât initiate anything intimate ever again. And to be honest? It hurt. A whole fucking lot. Hearing your partner say that they would never wish to do anything intimate with you was probably the worst way to experience heartbreak. Because he was truthful with it, and he showed it very openly.Â
Now, heâd lock the door whenever he would take showers. Heâd spent most of his time outside riding his bike until midnight. He stopped texting you sweet messages while on tattoo shop duty. He seldomly joined you to eat breakfast and dinner together. His back would face you whenever you two slept in bed. His eyes avoided you even when you walked around in underwear. His hand wouldnât touch you even when you were centimeters close to him. There were no kisses exchanged either, unless obliged to do so when leaving the house. No hugs. No hair-stroking, hand-holding sweetness ever shared. You were simply cohabiting in your shared apartment like strangers who had barely even said I love youâs.Â
âMan, thatâs rough,â remarked Suguru Getou, your cousin and the barista, as he tidied up the counter behind the elevated bar. Having just served his friend an Americano, he listened intently as you vented about your situation with Sukuna. âIâll be honest with you, Y/N. Itâs not looking good for you.â
You knew that. You just refused to acknowledge it. âI mean, all couples fight.âÂ
Suguru shook his head, however. âYou two arenât even fighting. Dude just gave up and started detaching himself from you. If thatâs not a sign already, then I donât know what is.âÂ
âWhat sign?â you asked, hiding the obvious worry in your voice. You need not be dense about his words, but you wanted to have some kind of hope to grasp on.Â
âSign that heâs falling out of love?â he continued.Â
And somehow, his white-haired friend thought it would be okay to chime in. âMore like a sign that the tool's not interested anymore and is about to dump her.â
Your face felt hot and in the most terrible way. âSorry, what was your name again?â you asked, your tone dripping with sarcasm. You hadnât expected the guy to suddenly chime in, considering he had been quietly typing on his laptop just moments before. âI donât remember asking for your opinion, so donât go listening to somebody elseâs business when youâre not part of the conversation.â
âJeez,â said the albino guy, grinning at your cousin as if amused by your barrage of a response. âSheâs a yapper, too. I thought she was supposed to be this sweet and innocent type, Suguru?â
âNot always.â Suguru chuckled at his friend before turning to you, apologetic eyes now attempting to soothe your nerves. âSorry âbout that, Y/N. Satoru just likes to tease people. Donât mind him.â Â
You kept a straight face. âWell, then maybe tell your friend to keep his nose out of conversations heâs not invited to.âÂ
âYes, maâam.â Satoru gave you a playful salute before extending his hand towards you. âLook, I didnât mean to overhear, but I actually sympathize with you. If it were me, Iâd never do that to you, baby.â
Oh, God. You were so bad at this. Was he flirting with you or was he simply playful like this?Â
Nevertheless, you rolled your eyes and ignored the hand he offered, essentially brushing off his advances. âI donât need sympathy. All Iâm here for is to talk to my cousin to try and have his advice on the matter,â you emphasized pointedly, making it clear to Satoru that he was the last person you wanted advice from. âI donât need a stranger listening to my personal life.âÂ
âDoesnât hurt to receive advice from another guy,â countered Satoru, shrugging. âRight, Suguru? I mean, weâre both guys. We can give you some insight into how men think.âÂ
You felt the urge to bury your face in your hands. It was clearly a mistake going there and putting yourself in that situation, and now having two guys aware of your sex life with your boyfriend. That alone was so wrong on many levels. But could it be helped? Suguru was your closest cousin, the only one who didnât turn his back on you after you left your parentsâ home. He was working at a cafe three blocks away from your flower shop and you happened to be delivering a batch of fresh floral decorations for their cafe. You obviously found it a good opportunity to open up to him about your struggling relationship and hoped he could offer some male perspective on Sukunaâs behavior. You just hadnât anticipated his friend eavesdropping on the conversation the entire time.
Well, that should have been expected anyway, since only the three of you were in that cafe on a lazy Wednesday afternoon.Â
âI donât kiss and tell, by the way.â Satoru was beaming as he gave you that assurance and you couldnât help but admit that the man had some charm in him. He was attractive, no doubt about it. He was also tall, toned, and seemingly well off based on the way he dressed. He had a casual yet preppy style, something you would normally see from guys who went to private school.Â
âDo you work?â you asked out of sheer curiosity. âYou donât seem like the type.âÂ
âOh, now sheâs interested.â Satoru seemed to have found your sudden interest in him humorous. âIâm finishing my MBA, miss. Thank you for asking.â
âHeâs a privileged rich kid with generational wealth and a family business,â Suguru remarked, playfully gesturing a cutting motion across his neck. âDefinitely not your type, huh, Y/N?â
âWhy, whatâs her type?â The white-haired man looked intrigued, pulling his stool closer. He had that stupid grin on his face as though the topic just sparked his curiosity. âWhatâs her boyfriend like?â
Suguru, who wanted to play along, jokingly hummed in deep thought. âHeâs got tattoos, likes to tattoo other people, is a college dropout, rides a big bike, smokes and drinks, listens to heavy metal, was probably a delinquent and a juvie alumniââ
âExcuse you, heâs never been in a juvenile detention center,â you defended your man, feeling like your cousinâs categorization of Sukuna was becoming a little too derogatory and you had to correct him for that, âand heâs a good man. Heâs sweet and caring, heâs passionate, and he loves me sincerely.âÂ
âSincerely, not?â Satoru quipped, earning your glare in return. He immediately raised his hands in surrender. âI'm just joking. If you believe heâs all that, thatâs your choice. I donât judge booktok girls who romanticize typical bad boys.â
You rolled your eyes at his audacity. Each word that left his mouth seemed to stoke the flames of your irritation. âYouâre so offensive, Iâll have you know that.âÂ
The white-haired guy smugly took a sip from his coffee. âAt least I donât make girls feel guilty for not having sex with me.âÂ
âOooh.â Suguru was clearly enjoying the show, unaware that you were one step closer from smacking his friend across the face. âTouchĂŠ. He kinda has a point, Y/N.âÂ
âBe serious,â you warned.Â
To which he agreed to. âOkay, I am being serious now,â he said, abandoning his playful stance to lean in on a more solemn posture against the counter, âIf you think Sukuna makes you feel guilty for not doing it with him, then shouldnât that speak for the kind of relationship you two have? He wants something you canât give. His reaction tells you everything you need to know about him.âÂ
You tried to absorb his words with a better understanding and without any bias. âIsnât his reaction normal? Heâs a man, too. I understand his needs and I made him feel somewhat rejected.â
âItâs all about respect, Y/N,â answered Suguru, âIf heâs a decent man, he wouldnât make you feel that way. No mixed signals, no guilt tripping, no nothing. If you canât do it, then donât.âÂ
âSo, youâre saying you wouldnât feel the same if your girlfriend keeps rejecting sex with you?âÂ
Suguru smirked. âI never said Iâm a decent man, either. All Iâm saying is if what you want isnât exactly aligned to what he wants, then maybe itâs best you break it off with him because this shit wonât get you anywhere, Y/N. Trust me. Heâs gonna dump you before you know it. I mean, itâs one thing to pretend heâs all fine with it, and itâs another to distance himself from you like heâs silently protesting.âÂ
âYeah, thatâs true,â Satoru joined in once again. âItâs impossible for a guy like that to be in a relationship for so long and not have any pussy. We think of sex 24/7, some of us are just better at restraining ourselves than others. Heâs putting up with it now, but itâs only a matter of time he gets sick and tired of waiting. You do realize he can get any girl he wants, anytime he wants, right?âÂ
Although you were still uncomfortable at Satoru casually chiming in on the conversation, it was true when they said they could give you the exact male perspective you needed to hear. This allowed you to go deeper into Sukunaâs psyche and understand why he was acting that way. You just didnât know how to save the connection you have with your boyfriend when both your cousin and his friend were describing all the red flags on Sukunaâs behavior.Â
âI donât know,â you spoke in a tone of defeat. âI kinda understand where heâs coming from, so I canât just leave him for it. I love him.â
Satoru looked at your cousin like you couldnât be saved. âSheâs in too deep.âÂ
âYeah, gaslighted as fuck.â Suguru was shaking his head in disappointment.Â
The taller man chuckled and brought up a ridiculous offer to lighten the situation up. âHonestly, Y/N. I know we just met and all, but if you ever need someone to teach you how to do good in bed, just hit me up. Heâll never know.âÂ
âShut up,â you shot back at Satoru, eyes rolling at his remark.Â
âYouâre out here feeling bad for that guy when he could be fucking his clients at the tattoo shop.â
You argued. âNo, heâs notââ
âAre you sure he isnât?âÂ
It wasnât Suguru nor Satoru who posed that question; it was Yuki Tsukumo, the cafĂŠâs manager and Suguru's respected senior. She was in a relationship with one of your boyfriendâs stepbrothers, Choso, and was also a fellow biker, which allowed her to cross paths with Sukuna in their community. Despite this connection, she was never particularly close to him. In fact, Yuki didnât personally get along with Sukuna and she was very vocal about it. She was, however, a regular client of yours and ordered floral arrangements from your shop on a weekly basis.
It had been awhile since you last saw her, and didnât expect that the first greeting you would give her was a question. âYuki, what do you mean?âÂ
Great. Now, three people know about your relationship quagmires.Â
She was placing her helmet at the counter and sitting on a stool before answering you, âI really think you should talk to him about it, Y/N.âÂ
No, no. Why did you suddenly feel a pang of anxiety out of nowhere? Something about the sympathy in Yukiâs eyes felt unsettling, and it sent a wave of fear through you. She definitely knew something. What was Sukuna doing behind your back?
âCan you please just tell me?âÂ
Her gaze studied your face intently, as if deliberating on the right thing to do. âWell... I spotted him riding with a girl the other night. Initially, I thought it might be you, but last night, I saw them together again. I recognized her... because it was his ex. I think heâs been giving her rides home lately.âÂ
Amidst the quiet of the room, your heart felt like it was breaking in two. The sudden revelation sent you into an abyss of pain.
âYou might wanna visit his tattoo shop later.â Yuki encouraged me with a comforting smile. âIt may be best to confront him about it.â
â â
Sukuna wasnât sure how to act around you anymore. It wasnât like he was purposely avoiding you, but he just didnât feel comfortable acting like everything was fine and dandy. Because if he was damn honest, the sexual frustration was fucking with his head. So much so to the point where he started questioning himself if he should still put up with a relationship like this.Â
First of all, there were pros and cons involved. He had to consider that it was a special connection filled with special memories, too.Â
If he was talking about the pros, he knew he would have a loving lifetime partner with you. You were beautiful, kind, and pure. You inspired him and motivated him to be better. You were unmaterialistic and happy with the littlest things. You gave his dominant side the urge to be a better man, like he was made to protect and provide for you. You became his muse; a blank canvas that was all for him to paint on. A canvas that no one had ever touched. Or, in your world, a white lily that was associated with chastity and virtue.Â
But then, there were also cons, and the foremost of it being you were too conservative for your own good. You grew up in a strict environment with uptight parents who wanted to control your life. He could never voice it out, but he really hated that you were square like your parents sometimes. You were too traditional and afraid to explore new experiences, oftentimes policing him for living his life as free as he wanted it to be. The âopposites attractâ thing did seem to work in your relationship at first, with your differences being exciting for each other, but as time went by, it became clearer to him that you two were too different to actually be in sync together.Â
Hence why your relationship became rigid and suffocating, forcing him to take a breather by distancing himself from you for some time. He did this for your benefit, because he had to clear his head before risking losing you for good. He didnât want to jeopardize a relationship that he knew meant the world to him. Perhaps this was just a phase, a challenging period following the honeymoon phase, where all your differences seemed to become more pronounced.
But to repeatedly make him look forward to sharing intimacy with you, only for you to back out at the very last minute? Man, was that so frustrating.Â
It didnât help that it was destiny itself that seemed to be stirring the pot. Because while you two were going through a rough time in your relationship, the irony presented itself outside of Sukunaâs tattoo shop late at night just as he was about to close.Â
âRyo?â A tall woman with athletic build, long dark hair, and beautiful doe eyes came into view with a wide smile on her face.Â
His ex-girlfriend of three years.Â
Sukuna held the door for her albeit the confusion in his eyes. âYorozu?âÂ
The only difference he noticed was that she had become a lot sexier, with the curves on her body more womanly than ever. It was obvious that she was active in the gym to achieve such a fit physique. But other than that, her facial features were the same. Her heart eyes still shone bright at the mere sight of him, as if they carried stars and galaxies.Â
âI think I came too late,â said Yorozu, smiling in disappointment, âI should probably just return tomorrow.âÂ
âNo, youâre good.â Sukuna insisted on letting her enter his shop, closing the door as soon as she was inside. âWhat brought you here?âÂ
She stood confidently in front him, wearing nothing but a blank tank top and some loose white pants. âFunny story âcause I actually just moved to this city recently and I just found out you had a shop in this area.âÂ
Oh? That was interesting, indeed. Sukuna wondered how she even found his shop in that case, while he was leading her to the tattoo chair. âAre you here to get a tattoo or?âÂ
âYeah, yeah I am.â She was sprinkling some charm in her grin. He knew her too well. âI think itâs amazing that Iâm gonna get it from you again.â
While Yorozu was talking to him, he couldnât help but ask: was it wrong for him to be in the same vicinity as his ex? Considering how jealous you could get, this was definitely wrong in your eyes. But as he wasnât doing anything sketchy, he figured there was nothing wrong about what he was doing. Yorozu was technically a client and he couldnât deny her his services since she was basically a friend of his, too. So, was he breaking any code here?Â
âWell, only if you have time now, of course,â she added out of consideration, âItâs kinda late so I can always come back.âÂ
Sukuna shook his head and headed to get his book of tattoo art samples. âItâs fine. I got clients lined up all day tomorrow, so,â he said, placing the book on her lap, âYou wanna check that or do you have a design in mind already?âÂ
Yorozuâs eyes fell on the tattoos marking Sukunaâs body, her gaze landing on every familiar inch as though she had seen them all the time before. It was true. She had seen more of him, actually. She had done more with his body, too. âI kinda wanna get a sleeve, but I want you to choose the design for me.âÂ
A tattoo sleeve? Damn. It was something he would never in a million years see from you, but for Yorozu, it was totally normal. She was as obsessed with ink as he was. And although sheâs had a couple of tattoos in her body already, which were done by him, it would be her first time to get a full sleeve.Â
âI get to choose, really?â Sukuna chuckled lightly. If he were to think of Yorozuâs traits, she was definitely a classic red rose. A seductress, alluring woman was how he saw her and the said flower would be a true-to-life representation of her personality. She was passionate when it came to loving someone, and was completely devoted to him back when they were together. The only reason they broke up was because they were too similar, as if she was his counterpart, and he saw fit to leave a relationship where they both constantly battled for dominance. Yorozu could get too aggressive on loving someone and he didnât particularly like that. He made her understand why they werenât working as a couple, and it took her some time, but she eventually accepted his decision. Now, you could say, they were somehow on good terms. âAlright, Iâll do your sleeve, but Iâll keep the design as a surprise.âÂ
Her eyes sparkled in excitement at the thought. âIâd love that!âÂ
âSince you want a sleeve, weâre gonna do some stencil application today.â Sukuna didnât waste any more time in getting ready with his equipment, biting on the glove while wearing the other on his hand. âItâll take fifteen to twenty hours to complete a sleeve, and each session could last two to six hours depending on your pain tolerance. My scheduleâs actually full all day until next week, but you can come around the same time every night so I can finish yours.âÂ
âYeah, Iâm absolutely fine with that,â she enthused. For some reason, Yorozu was happy with the idea. The idea of coming to visit Sukuna every night in his shop. The idea that they get to be alone. The idea that they would be able to reconnect just like old times. Those were the things that Sukuna assumed was going through her head.Â
And as he did start with his âclientâ, it was probably best to admit that the sexual tension was high. The room felt stuffy as the both of them remained there until midnight, with her sitting on the tattoo chair, and him doing her tattoo to her left. His eyes were intently focused on the intricate patterns he was doing on her arm, but also couldnât avoid seeing the contours of her breasts since she was wearing such a thin tank top. It wasnât like he hadnât seen them before. Heâd seen every part of her body from her neck down to her toes. Heâd put her in every position from missionary to doggy. Goddamn, he could even remember how warm she felt around his cock. Didnât she like it when he came inside her? Or when he made her swallow every drop of his seed?Â
Sukuna cleared his throat, shaking his vulgar thoughts away as he continued with Yorozuâs arm. He may not be cheating, but thinking back on those intimate experiences with someone else other than his girlfriend was definitely not morally right either. But what sexual experience could he reminisce about with you? That ridiculously embarrassing night you two had shouldnât even be counted since he was trying so hard to forget about it.Â
He cleared his throat. Again. For the third time. âWhat, uh, whatâve you been up to?âÂ
Yorozu, who had no clue about his thoughts, turned her face to look at him happily. âNot much, actually. The bar I worked at closed down, but I got myself a new job in this club as a full time hostess and part-time promoter. You should come by. Drinks on me.âÂ
By not exactly accepting or refusing, Sukuna decided to just smile it off. âThatâs why you moved to this city?âÂ
âYeah, I mean⌠obviously, the rent here is higher, but itâs closer to my job. I get paid decently, too.âÂ
âThatâs nice.â He was just trying to make small talk at this point. âDo you know your way âround here? How are you gonna get home?âÂ
She considered her options. âProbably a bus or something?âÂ
Sukuna paused, contemplating the situation. âThere's no bus here at midnight,â he remarked, concerned for the girl who would have to navigate her way home alone at such a late hour. She was new to the area and clearly still adjusting to the commuter lifestyle. Unlike her, he had a vehicle that could safely transport her home. There would be no harm in offering, right? âLook, I have a bike and I usually take midnight rides, anyway. I can drop you off on my way home.â
âReally?â Her voice echoed excitement in them. âIâd appreciate it, Ryo. Thanks so much.âÂ
Life was ironic, truly. He didnât see this situation coming because he never expected that he would even come across Yorozu ever again. They didnât have any contact prior, but he still saw her on social media whenever he (on very rare occasions) decided to check his accounts. He never had her blocked, either, which was why you knew about Yorozu after snooping through his phone and reading through some of his old messages with her. Sukuna used to tell you not to worry about her, and that she was just his ex, and that she had nothing on youâwhich were all true, of course, but it was funny to him now that the woman his girlfriend was most threatened by was back in his life.Â
And she was riding at the backseat of his motorbike, her arms latching at nothing else but around his torso. She was seated at the seat reserved for you, wearing the helmet that was bought for you, and holding onto a man that was rightfully yours. It all didnât feel right.Â
But because Yorozu delighted in his habit of speeding on the highway, he had somehow forgotten about the guilt that was forming in his heart.Â
**
âYou still have your exâs Instagram?â Your questioning eyes met his defensive ones as he joined you in the living room, finding his space on the couch next to you. âI read your dms. Why havenât you blocked her?âÂ
Sukunaâs breath remained steady. âOnly toxic people do that shit.âÂ
âBut Iâm not comfortable with it!â you nagged, letting him snatch his phone from your grasp.Â
âDo you see me talking to her still?â he asked, trying to be as patient as he could be, âBaby, I donât even talk to her. I donât think sheâs active there, either.âÂ
You crossed your arms. âThen, block her?âÂ
âYouâre being ridiculous.âÂ
âIâm being fair. You shouldnât be keeping tabs with an ex.âÂ
âWhat are youââ Sukuna decided to cut his own sentence after realizing that the argument was plain stupid. âYou know what, Iâll just delete my insta.âÂ
**
âHow many times do you two do it?â you asked out of nowhere, sitting at the waiting area while he was closing his shop. âYour ex. How often do you have sex with her?âÂ
What kind of trap were you setting now? If he told you an honest answer, you would get mad. If he lied or even sugar coated it, you would also get mad.Â
âDoes it matter? Why do you keep asking questions about her and then get upset with me?â Sukunaâs frustration resonated in his sigh as he tidied the space where he tattooed his client a few minutes ago. âSheâs an ex for a reason, so get over it.â
He was starting to get annoyed by your never-ending questions about his past experiences, but he knew you were simply coming from a place of no experience. You probably wanted to know what he liked in bed, what pleased him the most, what kept him from wanting more. Was that too much? No. Were you overdoing this entire thing? A little bit.Â
âWhy are you defensive?â you asked softly, still sitting on the couch as you watched him avoid your eyes. âYou make me feel so insecure every time.âÂ
He scoffed, shaking his head as he turned around. âI donât know, baby. If youâre feeling insecure, then do something about it.âÂ
**
âThanks so much for the ride, Ryo.âÂ
Yorozu stood by her door, returning the helmet back to him while she kept her eyes locked on his. Her gaze was inviting, tempting him to give in and submit to his carnal desires. Any man would read her intentions the same way; Yorozu stared at him like that because she wanted to invite him to her place. She wanted him to spend the night and do unforgivable things. To remember the passionate exchange they once shared.Â
But Sukuna wasnât like that. No, he wasnât a cheater. âI, uh, gotta get going.âÂ
âOhâŚâ Disappointment clouded Yorozuâs face. âOkay, then.âÂ
âSee you tomorrow?âÂ
â...Alright.âÂ
âOkay.âÂ
âWait!â Yorozu pulled his arm just as he was heading back to his motorbike. The sudden closeness in their proximity made his heart race fast. He knew what was coming. âI missed you, Ryo.âÂ
He knew what she was about to do next.Â
And holy fuck did he guess right, as he was taken aback when Yorozu suddenly leaned in to press her lips onto his. Her soft, cherry lips moved desperately to taste his sweet kisses.Â
But he didnât return it. Instead, he immediately pushed her away. âYorozu,â he spoke softly, âI have a girlfriend.âÂ
âYou do?â She didnât need to hide it. He could see the heartbreak on her face.Â
âYeah,â Sukuna confirmed, maintaining a more appropriate distance now. âWeâve been together for some time, and I live with her.â
Yorozu tried to maintain her facade of indifference, making it appear as though she was unfazed by his revelation. âThatâs... Thatâs cool,â she said, âIâm sorry for, uh, the kiss.â
Sukuna nodded, âItâs fine. I shouldâve told you sooner.â
âYouâre alright,â she reassured him, âIt's totally my fault. I hope she wonât be upset with you or something.â
Sukuna had no plans to tell you, knowing well the additional turmoil it would bring to your already strained relationship. However, he realized the importance of clarity in his intentions and the need to set boundaries. âWeâre just friends. Weâll keep things civil. Iâll finish your tattoo in a couple more sessions, and then weâre done. Sounds fair?â
Yorozu nodded her head with a reluctant smile. âFair enough.âÂ
â â
5 more days. Her sleeve required five more sessions, and days went by too fast for him to count. He had busied himself with his clients, while you had busied yourself with yours. He couldnât even spend time with you because his shop took a chunk of his time from him, and even at home, things had become too awkward ever since your unspoken night.Â
So, in some ways, Yorozu became his routine. She visited his shop for the past four nights and he had taken her home afterwards. She was in absolute love with her rose sleeve and they werenât even complete yet. He still owed her one last session and told himself that it should also be the last time she should be around him. It wasnât right and he didnât want to create another source of argument with you.Â
And in truth, he certainly felt a little guilty for spending more time with his ex than his own girlfriend. But did he purposely do it? No, it was fate that brought her to his door about a week ago.Â
In spite of his stubbornness to admit his wrongdoing, he still ended up stopping by the flower market to get you a nice bouquet of white lilies. He knew you could make a prettier bouquet than that, but he thought it would be a perfect opportunity to surprise you with flowers that didnât exactly come from you. Besides, he had some making up to do.Â
Later that night, when he returned to your shared home, he found you sitting at the couch seemingly waiting for him to come home. The lights were dimmed and the television was turned off. For some reason, you were wearing outside clothes and had a somber expression on your face, too. That alone caused the loud thumping of his heart.Â
âHey,â he greeted, nonetheless, sitting next to you on the couch and kissing your cheek. âEverything okay, baby?âÂ
Your eyes carried sadness in them as you looked at him and searched for answers you couldnât find. âWhere were you?âÂ
Sukuna handed the bouquet over. âGot you flowers.âÂ
You didnât accept them. Instead, every second seemed to torture you. âWhere were you before that?âÂ
âIn the shopâŚ?â He didnât know where to start, but he was definitely scared. âWhy? Sorry Iâve been busy lately. Iâll make it up to you, angel.âÂ
âYou close your shop at nine,â you pointed out, voice breaking in the middle of your sentence. âWhy do you always come home at two in the morning?âÂ
Fuck. Fuck! What should he say? Should he make an excuse for it? Should he say heâd been checking on Yuuji after his shifts? Should he say heâd been riding to other cities to clear his mind? He didnât fucking know what to say, especially not when you were clearly on the verge of bursting out.Â
âAnswer me!â you cried, finally releasing the bottle out in the open. The tears that welled in your eyes now streamed ceaselessly down your face. âYouâre an asshole. I-I hate you! I fucking⌠you think I donât know? You think Iâm too stupid to know?!â
Sukuna calmly received the fists you had swung on his chest as he tried to grab ahold of your arms. âBaby, Iâll explain everything.âÂ
âNo, damn y-you!â The tremor in your voice squeezed his heart in the most painful way because he hated seeing you breaking down in front of him and over him. This wasnât the first time he had made you cry, but this was the first time he had seen you actually sob like this. âI-I gave myself to you! I left my p-parents for you! And this is what you do to me? Youâre cheating on me with your ex?!âÂ
He was desperate to hold you, hug you, cage you in his arms. He wanted to take your pain away. Wipe your tears away. However, you didnât allow him to touch even a strand on your hair as you kept on pushing him off. Sukuna felt like he was going to lose his mind. âBaby, listen to me please. Itâs really not what you thinkââ
âI donât care!â you spat, moving away to wipe the tears off your face. âI donât fucking care! You sleeping with her or not doesnât change a thing. Donât you get it? Iâll never be enough for you!â Despite your loud voice, the cracks in her facade only revealed your longing for validation and acceptance, etching into every tear-stained moment you two had shared over the course of your relationship. He watched you, paralyzed by the sight of you breaking down, as you grabbed a luggage you had been hiding behind the couch as if you were ready to leave. âIâll never be the person you want me to be and staying with you will always remind me of it!âÂ
âNo, no, no⌠Letâs talk.â Sukuna had to suppress his own tears while he tried to reach out for you. âBaby, please. I donât feel anything for her, or anyone. Itâs just you. You are enough for me, baby. Iâm sorry, please.âÂ
You, on the other hand, were adamant at your decision. âI canât stand what youâre doing to me anymore. I donât like how you make me feel about myself. I hate how you make me question my own choices!â Tears continued to flow, and your voice wavered, transitioning from anger to a more subdued, pained tone. âI hate⌠I hate that I love you so much, that I lost all my backbone just to make you happy.âÂ
âYou donât need to.â He was feeling more and more miserable now, his heart sore from all the emotions he had seen from you. âY/N, you donât need to. Iâm sorry, I love you. I love you so fucking much.â Â
âŚ
âŚ
âŚ
âItâs over, Sukuna,â were the last words he could recall hearing before passing out drunk in his bed that afternoon. âWeâre done.â
â â
It was your first heartbreak. Your first actual relationship. Your first everything. Surely, people shouldnât expect you to move on easily, especially not when the subject of your heartache worked across the street from you.Â
You were a mess. You had cried enough tears after you moved out of his apartment that night, screamed your heart out as you suffered from the pain of loneliness once more. You couldnât even bear the thought of returning to your parents and hearing them say they told you so, because loving Sukuna was a choice you thought was good for you.Â
In the end, he was just a poison without any antidote. A toxin without remedy. The most effective solution was to sever all ties to prevent further contamination.
But strangely enough, you hadnât seen him in his shop ever since that night, either. The tattoo parlor remained closed for more than two weeks without any notice. While a small part of you worried for him, a bigger part of you cared for yourself. He no longer held any importance to your life, and you should let it remain that way.Â
What you should focus on, instead, was living your life without any trace of him. A life of independence, away from the toxicity of a manipulative man who constantly made you doubt yourself and what you offered. As they say, you have to learn to love yourself first before you can fully learn to love others.Â
And in your journey of knowing the truth of that saying, a certain white-haired man entered your floral shop on a somber Friday afternoon just as you were arranging preordered bouquets for multiple customers to pick up.Â
âHey,â you greeted the man, surprised at his sudden appearance at your shop.Â
Satoru grinned as he approached you closer. âIâm here to pick up two bouquets.â
âOh, it was your order?â Your eyes widened. Silly you. Of course, Suguru would order on his friendâs behalf. He wouldnât even get his girlfriend some flowers, let alone his mother. So this being Satoruâs order made much more sense. âOkay, you got a bouquet of blush peonies and another bouquet of pink tulips, am I correct?â
He smiled handsomely, displaying his set of perfect white teeth while listening to you talk. âCorrect.âÂ
âFor your mom?â you asked before you made your way to pick up the bouquets, handing them to him carefully.Â
His response came with a soft, affirmative hum. âMhm. One for her,â he said, taking only the bouquet of tulips, âThe other is for you.âÂ
Oh, no, no, definitely no. You had seen this before and it didnât go well.Â
âThatâs lovely, butâŚâ You offered a smile. âIâm not taking those peonies.âÂ
Satoru acted innocent, his vibrant blue eyes coruscating under the ambient lights. âBut itâs motherâs day.âÂ
You playfully shook your head. âIâm not even a mother.â
âYes, you are,â he went on teasing, âthe mother of my future kids. I like to think in advance, you know.âÂ
Honestly? This man started off with a bad impression on you, but he wasnât actually so bad. He was an easygoing, happy-go-lucky person who carried positive energy around him. That, and he was decent, too. He was the type of guy your parents would have surely approved of. He was a degree holder like you, even pursuing graduate studies to run a business that was already generating an income that you could only imagine of getting. He was set for life with no uncertainty with what he wanted for his future.Â
âSatoru?â
He met your gaze. âYeah?â
âAbout your offer last time,â you recalled, recalling his earlier jest about teaching you some things in bed, âI think I'd like to take you up on that.â
#sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#sukuna angst#ryomen sukuna x you#ryomen sukuna x reader#sukuna x y/n#jjk x reader#tattoo artist sukuna#biker sukuna#tattoo artist x florist au
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Hits Finn with the sad beam because Iâm STRESSED (organic chemistry you know how it is)
#if I had a nickel for every time a god wanted to keep him as a pet#Iâd have two nickels which isnât a lot but itâs weird that it happened twice right#also considering thereâs 3 gods so he has a 2/3 chance of wanted to be kept as a pet#itâs because itâs because itâs because the gods donât see humans as valuable beings rather just cute little accessories#(liam- his boyfriend- DESPISES this mindset trust me)#see this is a good drawing for real ones who can recognize my godsâ symbols!!#I kind of want to do more like dynamic poses soon but NOT NOW#I do NOT have the energy to experiment with my art rn#oc#my ocs#artists on tumblr#illustration#digital art#my art#digital illustration#original art#procreate#doodle#art#drawing#artwork#oc artwork#oc art tag#oc art#original character art#original character#digital doodle#digital artist#digital drawing#character design
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Controversially Young GirlfriendÂ
Hugh Jackman x popstar!readerÂ
series masterlist & main masterlist
summary: y/n is a globally beloved pop star. She is known for her talent and dedication towards her craft. Recently, she has also been known for her preference for older men. After a breakup with her former older boyfriend, she had a run in with the hottest dilf right now, Hugh Jackman. Y/n tried to warn him, but what can she say, she has an effect on hot, older men.Â
warnings: age gap (23/55), cursing, y/n used, implied shorter reader, afab reader, she/her pronouns.Â
warnings will change as the story progresses! all descriptions of real people in this story are FAKE. i do not know these people and this is purely fiction. Please let me know if I missed anything! <33
authors note: this is an idea I had that I really needed to write. Iâd love to make this a series if you guys want more, just let me know! This is only my second time writing fanfiction and my first time writing for Hugh, please be nice lol. Thank you for reading! <3
Part one: breakup and new beginningsÂ
Being a young girl living in the middle of bumfuck nowhere made it seem impossible to live your dreams of becoming a singer. You grew up in a tiny little town in Louisiana called Minden. With a population of less than 15,000 people, the closest âbigâ city being Shreveport, growing up was pretty boring. You had big dreams of making it big and making it the fuck out of the country. Minden wasnât always so bad. It was a nice community that had fun things here and there, but you craved more.Â
Once you graduated highschool back in 2020, you focused on working and saving as much money as you could, only buying essentials and equipment to help make music. You took a few online classes on producing and tried your best to make whatever song was bouncing around in your head come to life. It took a year for you to feel confident enough to release your first few songs out into the world. So in July of 2021, you teased a song on TikTok to your small following. You started to gain a few more followers here and there, it was exciting. At the end of August, you released your first song titled âto the pointâ and it blew up on the clock app. You gained a hefty following after that, on the brink of hitting one million.Â
By the end of 2022, deciding on Los Angeles, you had finally saved enough money to move, so you were packing your bags and heading out. Your agent was ecstatic about the move because it meant more opportunities for your career. After releasing a few more songs over the past year, you hired Stacy to help you manage everything.Â
Fastwording to 2024, your dreams have come true and you have been an established and respected artist for almost two years. You started to build a reputation as someone who was dedicated and passionate about their craft- always being involved in any creative process. It was bliss. Lately though, youâve gained another reputation, the controversial young girlfriend, a whore, a gold digger. Since youâve been in the spotlight, youâve had your fair share of dating history and if they all happened to be older men, so what? It wasnât something you had planned on but older men were just built differently. They were so much sexier and put together than the guys your age. They knew what they were doing and how to treat a woman right. You were so tired of being asked out through instagram direct messages, you wanted someone who wasnât afraid to talk to you in person, and that seemed to only come from men twice your age. You werenât complaining though, you enjoyed it.Â
Your last âscandalousâ relationship ended up being far more public than you intended it to be. In the beginning, the men you were seen with were never anything serious, just dates or one night stands. Though with Pedro it was different. You dated him for six months before it all came crashing down and you felt heartbroken. He was the sweetest man youâd ever been with and it all ended because the hate from fans on our age gap was too much for him. It was an ugly breakup and you were positive that he wouldnât want to be associated with you anymore, even as friends.Â
-
âI should have picked a different song.â You huff in frustration. Today you were going to be performing on BBCâs Radio 1 Live Lounge and as requested, you'd be performing your own song and a cover of your choosing. When Stacy first presented this opportunity to you, it had only been a month after your recent breakup and naturally you chose to cover âTHE GREATESTâ by Billie Eilish. Now that you were mostly over Pedro, the song seemed silly to sing and you werenât feeling as vocally confident now that you were here.Â
âBabe, youâre gonna kill it! Just let your emotions flow, give the fans what they want.â Stacy is sitting across the room as she comforts you. Sheâs fidgeting with your vocal humidifier, attempting to put it together before you start warming up. Her advice isnât terrible, sheâs right. Youâd been pretty silent on the subject matter, steering clear of social media so you wouldnât say anything stupid. Rumors of your breakup had been all over the headlines but there hasnât been confirmation from either of you. Singing this song today would definitely stir the pot again and make everyone realize that it is done between you two.Â
âYouâre right.âÂ
âAs always. Here, start warming up the money maker.â She laughs while handing you the humidifier.Â
âI really hope he doesnât watch it. Iâd literally smash my head into a brick wall out of embarrassmentâŚâÂ
Placing the humidifier over your mouth and nose, you sit there letting your mind wander. Having your personal life exposed to everyone really sucked and hiding your boyfriends wasnât something you wanted to do, but you knew that in the future it was something that would have to happen.Â
âI think Iâm taking a break from men.â You let out proudly, glancing over at Stacy.Â
âWhatever you say girl.â You could hear the doubt lingering in her tone and the roll of her eyes.Â
âUgh⌠You donât believe me do you? I can totally break off from men and be my own person for once.âÂ
âIâm not trying to doubt you babe. Itâs justâŚYou tend to attract men like a magnet and you have some severe daddy issues.â She's typing away on her laptop as if she didnât just completely disrespect you.Â
âI donât have daddy issues.â You say flatly. âI happen to have a very loving father who was always present in my life, so the whole dating older men thing does NOT stem from daddy issues. Thank you very much.â You say matter of factly.Â
âHm..Well I give it a week.âÂ
-
After a few sound checks for your mic and band, you perform your first song. You chose a more upbeat song off your debut album to start, given that you were about to lay your heart out of the line. It was honestly kind of awkward performing in this setting. There was a booth in front of you that had the sound board and all of the other electronic stuff that you didnât understand. Then right to the left of that, the cameras were positioned with a group of crew members sitting behind them. It always felt awkward performing to smaller audiences.Â
The first song went by smoothly, earning a few cheers from the people in the room. As the band prepared for the next song, you could see the door in the booth open and two figures walk in. You werenât wearing your glasses or contacts since it was supposed to be a short day, so you really couldnât make out who had just walked in. You assumed more workers came in and brushed it off.Â
âAll ready?â A man behind the camera asks and you give a thumbs up.Â
You somehow managed to get through the song without having any vocal mess ups. It was a challenging song and you'd definitely have to text Billie later to give her some credit. A few tears slipped here and there, feeling the emotions that you thought were gone slowly be released. You pulled yourself together and you felt really proud of the performance as a whole, showing the world the potential your voice had.Â
A few soft claps are dying out as everyone starts cleaning up the room. Youâre reaching down to grab your water bottle when you feel someone rushing up towards you.Â
âAhhh you did great babe but um two hot dudes will be walking through that door any second!â Stacy is whispering and all you could do was give her a confused look before the door opens. You squint trying to make out the two figures.Â
âGod youâre talented!â You hear the voice before you see the face.Â
âOh um, thank you so much.â You let out not really sure who you were speaking to. Once the two men get into view, your jaw drops slightly.Â
âHOLY SHIT!â You yell a little too loudly. Slapping your hand over your mouth, you hear a very rich man laugh coming from a very good looking man. For some reason, whoever is in charge of the fate of the universe has blessed you with the presence of Ryan Reynalds and Hugh Jackaman.Â
âOh my god iâm so sorry, thatâs literally so embarrassing. I just couldnât see who you were at first.âÂ
âItâs okay sweetheart.â They both wear big smiles on their faces.Â
âIâm y/n, itâs so nice to meet yâall, iâm a big fan!â You gush out, trying your best to refrain from fangirling.Â
âWeâre big fans as well. We were next door interviewing for the radio show, when we heard you were recording over here. We ran over here to try to catch you.â Ryan lets out.Â
âNo shit! Thatâs so cool. I really appreciate it.â Before the conversation could continue, Ryan is being called over by someone, leaving Hugh and yourself alone.Â
âHows Pedro, haven't seen him in awhile.â Hugh asks genuinely, giving you a small smile. It caught you off guard completely. You racked your brain trying to think of a time in your six month relationship that Pedro mentioned Hugh at all but nothing came up.Â
âOh I uh- I wouldnât know. We arenât together anymore.â Your voice is soft, trying not to make this any more awkward.Â
âShit. Iâm so sorry, with the way he spoke about you, I thought youâd be together longerâŚâ He trails off.Â
âYea me too.. he couldnât handle the heat I guess.â You shrug.Â
âWell, his loss yea?â He smiles trying to cheer you up.Â
âYea..â You say softly, your voice matching your smile. You take a moment to really look at him and heâs beyond handsome. Heâs aged but in a way that makes you wish you were able to see the years go by with him. He was tall, almost towering over you, and his muscles were practically popping out of his shirt.Â
The same guy that was walking to Ryan, gathers the three of you for a picture for the BBC socials. You stand in the middle, both men placing their arms behind either side of you. Hughâs hand was placed on the small of your back. You looked up at him quickly, his face already smiling at the camera. You hear the camera go off a few times, causing you to look that way as well. Once the cameraman was satisfied, everyone gave their goodbyes and the room cleared out.Â
-
Later that night you were scrolling through your phone when a text popped up from Stacy.Â
Stacypoo <33: I told you. You couldnât even go a week. ;)Â
The text is accompanied by a screenshot of a notification stating that ââthehughjackmanâ started following you!â. You rushed to open instagram and went to your followers to search from his name. You stared at his page for a few minutes before following him back.Â
While you had control over your own social media, someone handled all of your business related content. You went on your page to see that the picture that was taken at BBC earlier today was already posted with one comment standing out beyond the rest.Â
Thehughjackman: Great meeting you sweetheart! :)
Thank you for reading <3
part two
#hugh jackman#hugh jackman x reader#hugh jackman x you#hugh jackman x y/n#hugh jackman smut#hugh jackman fanfic#hugh jackman fluff#hugh jackman fic#hugh jackman x female reader#hugh jackman fanfiction#hugh jackman oneshot#hugh jackman x popstar!reader#popstar!reader#f!reader#afab reader
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Your portfolio is gorgeous and so are you. Your art is vibrant and colorful and fun. All good things. Seriously. I've worked as a production designer for years and your portfolio is great.
And you are absolutely not an "ugly girl." LA warps self perception something fierce (says the LA native). You are so pretty!
Heyyyyy you want to hire me? Nobody else does đ
Also if it helps any i was an ugly girl in pittsburgh first which
Good old c*m*u "the odds are good but the goods are odd"
#It was one of my female friends who was also an artist who clued me in#Just a random tuesday after figure drawing class#I stayed late to collect my things and chat with the model who knew me from sunday free figure drawing sessions where i was the monitor#And this girl stayed and was just staring at me#And then went totally unprompted: you know laura you could almost be pretty if you wore makeup#Up until that point i was aware that i had crushes and nobody really had crushes on me and i never dated anyone#But i had never considered myself unattractive#But the minute she said it suddenly everything all made sense. it was like a wake up call#And then when i finally did start dating the various boyfriends all confirmed it at one point or another#Nick was the worst god he broke my heart#Hes the only person who has ever called me beautiful#And he took it back when he decided he wanted to date one of my very gorgeous dancer friends more#he said i was just the girl with the nice personality and he wasnt attracted to me like that#I mean i could hardly blame him like that friend of mine is basically a goddess but it still hurt
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