#he truly is boy girl to me

[larsbarsart]

Day 17 & 18. CLOTHES!!!

I couldn't think of anything to do for these prompts, so I played dress up!

Yes in the Marbletale AU I'm writing, Jay comes back as a robot, I will not elaborate further

And yes, I made it Jam. I. Am. A. Sucker.

Also have a bonus Frisk I drew to go with the fancy boys. They are the prettiest girl (genderneutral) at the party!!!!

[madwomansapologist]

once again thinking about how satosugu was used in death.

suguru, someone that turned into a curse user to ensure sorcerers wouldn’t die for a foolish reason, having his body used by a curse user to ensure sorcerers would kill each other in a death game.

satoru, someone that believed in the youth and endless times gambled with his own life to protect them, having his body used by a student in the hopes of overcoming this wretched thing walking freely.

how said student was the one to ultimately defeat suguru because he was willing to die for his friends. how yuta didn’t care about any foolish lie the sorcerers (aka suguru and kento) told themselves and fully accepted that dying for love was the right thing to do.

suguru's family deciding to follow or not kenjaku based on their love for geto. satoru's student doing the only thing the strongest couldn’t

[uncanny-tranny]

I jokingly thought before that reading Junie B. Jones as a kid turned me into a feminist, but unironically, it kind of did.

I honestly think it comes down to the fact that Junie B. was not only allowed to be "weird," but her character arc never concluded like other girl characters would. In other media featuring "weird girls," the girl always ended her arc tamed - by force or convince, she would be prettied up, she would smile and be polite, and she would never speak out of turn. She would be perfect then, and would shed her veneer of individuality with the freedom that is conformity. As a kid, I noticed that girls weren't permitted to be "weird" like boys were. So when I read Junie B. Jones, I loved that she was frankly just fucking weird. She said things out of turn, she was rambunctious and imaginative and she was a realistic portrayal of a little girl. I loved reading those books because the narrative taught her lessons without punishing her for being weird, if that makes sense. So often, narratives punished weird girls for the crime of being a socially unacceptable girl, not for any true wrongdoing like lying.

Anyway, I just think it's interesting, because I watched and read a ton of books and shows and movies featuring girls and women, but none of them truly empathized with (or even tried to empathize with) weird girls on their own merits and capabilities and terms, or embraced the idea of a "socially inept/unacceptable" girl without punishing her in some way for her supposed ineptitude.

[pouletpourri]

OMG!! I have a bunch of old drawings where I gave Dipper different pets (a dog, a fox, and a cat thing?) that I also drew in middle school. We are one and the same fr fr ☺️ I love Hazel, she’s adorable.

FR FR, the middle school wish need to give the lonely kid a animal companion truly trascends boundaries! also those sound like real cool concepts ngl! :] glad you like her! maybe i'll post of her in the future? I do have some sketches of her and Dipper stockpiled in my folder, maybe i'll do a selection and post the best ones also a sketch of the good girl, by yours truly

[bacchuschucklefuck]

My Accolades

[blue-eli]

Ink October day 3: Sophistry

An argument that seems plausible, but is fallacious or misleading, especially one devised deliberately to be so.

[hirayaea]

it’s been a month and I still stare at this from time to time cause this is what got me

he’s pinned me down and I’m still here - ahem (〃ω〃)

/

sorry for the lack of updates, I’ve had a Life Event due to my new job and it’s been eating my time! will be back to regular programming soon

/

source: memoria - heartstring symphony

[lovelyrotter]

can ppl in this fandom like... stop... implying that transmasculinity in hcs or (especially) canon is shallow or misogynistic or even transmisogynistic on princible, like literally just by being prescent in someones mind or in the text. like that doesnt fuckin feel good. thats kind of really nasty to imply. if its not okay to say about other trans experiences, maybe dont say it about this one either. why is there a weird little exception here. yall KNOW how much that sucks to hear all day every day. what the fuck

[lesbianfakir]

if anyoneeeeee careeeeees doodle sheet of my skyrim character feat her skyrim boyfriend

wip of her under the cut (warning for artistic nudity)

[chillinglikeashilling]

I kind of want to make a post about Michael and Jentry's dynamic in the show to finish of the thread of my posts talking about the dynamics between Jentry + Kit, and Michael + Kit respectively but it's hard to know what to say because the show doesn't really give us a satisfying conclusion to Michael's personal arc.

Obviously he's dating Jentry at the end and that's cute but the show seems to just forget that Michael was supposed to confront his parents about his powers, and because wanting to please his parents and meet their expectations is so much of Michael's story, it doesn't feel like we got to resolve anything there.

I really wanted to see Michael get mad or at least frustrated with his parents- the way Jentry does with Gugu.

Especially because it does feel like his parents hiding whatever knowledge they have about his powers from him is a mirror of Jentry's relationship with Gugu (and to some extent her mom). We never get to hear whether Michael's parents believe their hiding the info for his own good or simply for the sake of keeping up an appearance to Michael about a fake normality of their lives.

It feels like that would be such an interesting story to see side by side with Jentry's, especially because even though both Jentry and Michael are racialized people in an American context, it's implied that Michael is a first generation American unlike Jentry. I assume his parents immigrated together from Nigeria (and now I'm wondering if the keepsakes that he mentions being lost in the fire might be related to his powers).

I think there's a really interesting contrast we could have in the story about the lies Flora tells Jentry as a way to protect Jentry (but really mostly to protect Jentry's perception of Flora and her parents) and the secrets kept by Michael's parents which could be looked at as an attempt to help Michael assimilate more fully into American culture in the way that sometimes immigrant parents will not teach children their mother tongue in order to encourage them to speak the common language of their new home.

[gender-dropout]

is it a coincidence that just days after watching all of the Saw movies I realized that I am most likely a trans man/transmasc instead of transneutral, and started looking into testosterone HRT? Was my spontaneous decision to watch all of the Saw movies actually an act of divine intervention? Did Saw have anything to do with this realization at all even? (100% yeah)

[ratmans-notebooks]

i have to stop looking at blogs with vile takes im getting so worked up for nothing

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Comte’s Drama CD: Track One, Prologue

Since I got the Comte drama CD and there’s nobody around to stop me from inflicting that on everyone else, it’s time.

The premise of the entire recording is that MC and Comte spend a day together, so it’s basically Comte non-stop simping for nearly an hour. As you can imagine, I had an excellent time and I hope you will too.

I will say I did enjoy a few of the tracks more than others, only because he’s the most dramatic man alive and I love him. His head is empty and he’s the only one for me!!! More seriously though, there are also a lot of sweet moments that really speak to how vulnerable and real he is with her--and I’m always really drawn to that duality in him. Yes we all mask the true nature of who we are to a degree, but I think there is something to be said for the effort he makes to be honest with her; especially considering how deeply rooted that instinct to conceal is for him.

Without further ado, I will go through each track with little snippets of actual dialogue in the CD. Please note again, I am by no means a professional or a perfect translator; I’m just too obsessed to be stopped. 

The rest is under the cut to avoid spoilers, also because it’s long meta/squealing fest:

So the first track is called “Prologue” and as you can imagine it is exactly as it sounds. There really isn’t a whole lot to this one, as he basically recaps all the things we learn in his main story route. I do want to comment mostly on the beginning and the end of it though, since it’s exceedingly cute and makes me want to kiss him.

His spoken lines at the beginning are as follows:

So this is where you were. Were you looking at the moon from the balcony?

…Indeed, it’s true. It’s hard not to be captivated by such a beautiful crescent moon.

Usually it would be time to go to bed, but it’s such a lovely moonlit night. Let’s stay up a little late tonight.

We could have a glass of wine, or play a game? What would you prefer?

...huh? You want me to tell you a story?

Like. There are so many moving parts here, I don’t even know where to begin. The fact that he’s always seeking her presence (this can easily be corroborated by dozens of event stories). The way that he’s also drawn to the moon, the little silence there speaks to his thoughtfulness and musings of his own that are unknown to us. What does it evoke for him? Is he, too, reminded of the night they first met (hoping MC is thinking of the same)? Can you tell the thought alone is killing me?

The fact that he wants to spend that time with her, lingering beside her and unwilling to part. The way he always gives her a choice, always wants to know what she wants too. The audible surprise when he’s like ????? Storytime? And mind you I don’t think it’s because he thinks it’s immature, rather that he wasn’t expecting it. In a life surrounded by people--both purebloods and humans alike--that are entertained by so little, it’s heart-warming to be with someone who looks for something deeper, something closer to the soul. That, in a way, she’s asking for the gifts of his mind and voice, two things entirely unique to him.

I weep.

He goes on to say:

(his laughter SOBS) That’s a very sweet request…not at all, of course I don’t mind. 

I am neither a playwright, nor a novelist. I don’t know if I can tell a good story.

I hope I can fulfill my princess’ expectations.

…Hm, what should I talk about?

Well then…what about a man who lives forever?

So many things going on here, and no I will not remove my commentary because it’s essential to recreating the experience for the poor souls who will never hear the majesty of his seiyuu’s acting. Truly Horie-san exists to bring Comte to life and I hope he knows I owe him a blood debt.

ANYWHO so like. The way he’s delighted to indulge her (screaming and crying and throwing up why is he so cute??????). But not only that, the self-conscious bent of how he says “I don’t know if I can tell a good story.” I feel like it’s easy to forget that Comte is very much the type of person who prefers to blend into the background; he doesn’t seem to like or be in the habit of drawing a great deal of attention. He likes MC’s attention but I think that’s not really comparable, he’s very specific about who he shares himself with/seeks attention from.

Also I will say. I’ve never really been the type to like the term of endearment “princess” (he literally says hime in the CD) but. Because it is Comte and his adorable face that I want to squish between my hands, I will allow it. He’s a silly goose and he’s more than enough, I love him sm.

Following that he goes into his life up to that point, and because a lot of it is a bit repetitive I might leave bits and pieces out. I do want to highlight a few lines--mostly because they give insight into his character construction that might not have been as obvious in the main story.

A long time ago, so far away that even memories can grow dim…a man was born into a certain aristocratic family.

The family had a great secret. They weren’t human--they were pureblood vampires.

A person who was born with the promise of eternal life.

A person who had the capacity to pursue every pleasure in this world forever.

…But there are always two sides to everything.

…The endless life was, in other words, a prison made of time.

To have met and parted countless times with his loved ones,

The man’s chest ached with loneliness, overwrought by the emptiness.

He had no choice but to watch the world pass him by in endless hours.

I think there is. Something so haunted and fascinating in the words “But there are always two sides to everything.” Even more so because in his literal main story, he openly says “The brighter the light, the deeper the shadows”; always returning to this idea that all things in life are dual in nature. For all that you see one quality, the opposite exists as well. Interesting too because I feel like it explains a lot of his deep-seated anxieties about waiting for the other shoe to drop. Where love exists, loss exists as well. Where joy exists, so does pain. Where fulfillment is possible, so is emptiness. I think it makes a lot of sense that, when you live in an endless expanse of time, perhaps the scariest aspect of it is the constant fluctuation and change. Life is fun when things are going well, but what happens when the painful parts stretch so long? How do you cope?

Just things that keep me up at night yk.

I also think it’s fascinating the way he speaks about his immortality. In Leonardo, we see him address it as something that is monstrous and unnatural. He feels it is an abomination, something to be rectified or removed, almost. Comte doesn’t seem to share that view entirely. He says “He had no choice but to watch the world pass him by.” The removal of agency here is something that I want to highlight. Leonardo sees immortality and his identity as something that has to be reviled; there is a self-retaliatory nature to it in my view. Since he can’t fight against it, he fights against himself. Comte’s words speak more to dissociative terror; to force disconnection from your own body/mind because the pain of your entrapment or the threat to your life is so great. And tbh it’s brilliantly tied back to his lifestyle.

Comte uses the repercussions of his trauma two-fold. To seek out parties and novelties on one level expertly cloaks him in the mien of someone who is a devil-may-care product of overwhelmingly sustained privilege. But on another, I think it’s reasonable to argue that he seeks these things out with two other motives in mind; protection and grounding. He openly tells MC that his greater motive in attending parties is to seek out information to understand who to support on the world stage. This tells us that he does operate on a political level, if only to ensure the safety of his family--but I suspect it is also his way of moving the tides of fate around him in more benevolent directions. Furthermore, keeping himself engaged in something ensures that he is not left alone with his thoughts for too long and keeps him rooted in the present moment, something he also admits to struggling with. (And is a core feature of more extreme dissociation, the endless struggle to live in the present moment.)

I suppose I’m just incredibly interested in the way Leonardo regards himself with such self-hatred and revulsion, where Comte just seems so…removed. Not that Comte is empty of self-contempt, only that it does not feel quite as charged as Leonardo’s. I guess for me it more evokes the image of a child locking himself in a secret hideaway. Where Leonardo lashes out, Comte is the opposite; he retreats/hides. The only time he chooses to fight is when he’s protecting someone else (screams and cries, pls don’t get me started on his righteous fury I could go on for years, every time I remember Jeanne’s rt I’m 👌🏼 close to sobbing).

I also still don’t know how to reconcile the fact that his room is deadass filled with hourglasses (bruh), yet he says “…The endless life was, in other words, a prison made of time.” Like. Something something is his room considered the prison made of time ????? Because if that’s the case my god I’m throwing them all out. Then again it could be his attempt at controlling that which he fears, which I can respect considering I too delude myself into thinking I can control shit I can’t to face the impossibilities of the universe…

After that, Comte starts to explain the agreement he and Vlad made. Honestly it really is a summary for the most part, but there is a section I find worth discussing:

They wanted to create a person who would not die, and would continue to shine with their unique talents.

Without realizing how arrogant it was, they tried to find meaning in this life lived forever.

But…it didn’t go well.

Until there was a sizable rift between the old friends--and they parted ways.

They both loved humans, and worried about their future…they should have felt the same way.

…regardless, all that was left was a door that could cross time and space freely.

What I find interesting about all this is how Comte processes the conflict that transpired between them. Granted there is always the possibility that he’s not addressing everything he’s feeling (the man is REPRESSED) but there’s something that stands out to me when he says “they should have felt the same way.” I feel like when people have a fight with someone they tend to be pretty preoccupied that the other side was wrong; Vlad certainly is desperate to prove he was in the “right.” Comte doesn’t seem interested in that at all. He seems more confused, as if he simply doesn’t understand who Vlad is anymore. Like he doesn’t recognize the person who once cherished human life as much as he did (which I do have some contention with; I’m really not sure Vlad ever did love humanity the way Comte did. Perhaps Comte had believed it was so because he so deeply wished to have friend to comfort and understand him in his pain). I don’t think it’s that Vlad isn’t capable of caring about humans, more that--following the massacre of his clan at the very least--he has too great an interest in retaliation to be able to interact with them without power abuse happening.

I do say this fully understanding that Vlad probably saw some fked up shit, I’m just saying objectively the man sees humanity in an adversarial lens, an oppositional force. Comte tends to be more neutral/positive; he’s more interested in working to a common goal and identifies more closely with them psychologically speaking.

I also find it interesting he says their goal was “arrogant.” Recently I’ve been thinking about the complexities of arrogance. I think it can be easy to oversimplify it as shallow motives that are only focused on self-aggrandizement, but I think it can develop in even more complex situations--often with the best of intentions. I think Comte is trying to say that, while they wanted to preserve lives that were inspiring and uplifting to others, there is folly in the idea that only a few people can manage that. 

People and life in general are multi-faceted things; so many influences and variables act upon them. It is more sustainable to be a single unit of immovable, radical mindfulness and extend that outwards. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with people working together to achieve that goal, only that the responsibility for changing the world can’t fall on a handful of shoulders. It requires everyone to care and think more critically about their behavior, with the help of the people around them (ideally). There is arrogance in the belief that they had control over the fate of the world--an arrogance Vlad will not relinquish, one that continues to get him into trouble and lost him his oldest friend.

Aight and because that’s enough of my brainworms, this track ends with:

And the door brought another important encounter…that’s you. :> 

Now, you know what I mean, don’t you? That’s right…that’s the story until you and I met each other in our destiny. 

But that was only the beginning…now, we move forward together.

Our very sweet, and happy love story.

I just…………like I know I say it over and over again, but the way he just fills me to bursting with uwus. Another important encounter, a life-changing one for him…that a new story is being written, one that they get to write together. That “we move forward together” in a “very sweet, and happy love story.” It’s nearly like a fairy tale but somehow it doesn’t feel contrived or hokey when he says it, it just fills me with warmth. I think I just love that, for all his initial hesitations, he really doesn’t waver when he’s decided on something he wants. And if MC is willing to bet on him, he’s ready to up the ante.

All right well that about sums up track 1, next one to come is track 2! Enjoy these musings until then~

[hikeyzz]

i used to think i knew love until someone came along that makes me smile and giggle like i did when i was a little girl and now i feel i've known true love

[wurm-food]

obamitsu moments getting animated makes me want to screammmmm

[eeblouissant]

do you ever find a song that reminds you so violently of a favourite character that you kind of just like. freeze there once the realization hits

so anyway I found a new Dorothy song and I’ve paused everything I was doing to talk about it because. oh my god. come cry with me.

Flowers by Marina, here’re the lyrics:

obviously I’ve related this back to her marriage with/& divorce from stan, but I feel like this song really encapsulates how easy it is/has been for Dorothy to fall right back into his arms at the slightest show of affection, regardless of how far along she is in her own healing journey, and how awful she knows he is. “And it’s most tempting to give in when you hear the firin shots, when you’re steps from winning back all the happiness you lost.”

She’s very weak to emotional temptation, it’s one of her biggest character flaws. It doesn’t take much to convince her to do something she has already been yearning for even slightly. (I could connect this back to her recovering gambling addiction on so many different levels but thats another post entirely, and kind of self explanatory) ie: the episode stan takes a wife, where he shows affection for Sophia in crisis, keeps dorothy company, and now - regardless of the fact that she’s about to ruin a planned wedding and that, stan is stan - dorothy is determined to take stan back and completely convinced that he wants her back, too. We see dorothy in a similar situation with stan in season one also, to a little bit of a lesser extent. There are so many big and small examples of this that it would be impossible to name them all individually, but I think the examples involving stanley are most relevant here. oh god, not to mention the time they almost actually get married again … spare me. Eventually, everytime, when he proves once again to be the asshole that cheated & left her, she comes to her senses. But oh my god sometimes it just takes so much for her to see that someone is bad for her. “–but I would rather not, betray myself, just to keep your love at any cost”

Sophia comments on this flaw once or twice in canon too (OUCH, BTW.) and it just … dorothy is always so defensive. girl your mother is correct I fear!!!

“If you’d just bought me flowers, maybe I would have stayed”… the slightest show of affection would have kept her there with him for even longer, I’m so sure of it – thank god he stayed gone for as long as he did. Should have been forever!!!!!!! she had been slipping away from him since day one.

Do I even need to start talking about “and now my future gleams with colours bold and bright, in a home that’s filled with love and hope and a life that just feels right.” PLEASE. PLEASE… I’m so fragile …… please … I feel like this one speaks for itself. And right after a line that so perfectly describes her home life while married to stan? I’m not well oh my god this is sick