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catsplushellhounds · 4 years ago

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favorite headcanons (and theorys?) of glee that i created

i was thinking if i really was going to write this, but im bored so lets go, this got so long and i am so sorry (not really it was fun and i liked it, if you like big metas you probably gonna like this)

*this can have some triggers for some people because i will be talking about bullying, abandonment, depression and violence*

(also i would like to say that most of this are things that i like to believe happened, and idk if the rest of the fandom agrees or if someone said it before and this is all blaine related, i left it glee on the title because it sounded better idk)

- blaine's dad is filipino and he left after blaine came out

i know that blaine said he was there in shooting stars, but hear me out

first of all, to me his name is tod anderson, dont ask me why it just makes sense and i like how it sounds.... so

in sexy, blaine tells burt that his dad tried many times bonding with him, but apparently that didnt work, because he also says "you think my dad built a car with me because he loves cars? i think he did it because he thought getting my hands dirty might make me straight." and after 4x18, he is never mentioned again? and he wasnt on his son's wedding too

so my theory here is that he never accepted that blaine is gay, and all of his "efforts of bonding" were actually because he thought he could "fix" blaine, and when that didnt worked he left, (that also explains blaine's abandonment issues) but he did came back im the shooting episode because he felt guilty for what he did, but after he saw it was a false alarme he went back on pretending he didnt have a gay son

to be really honest sometimes i pretend that his dad wasnt on the shooting day because i feel that it doesnt fit that well into this and i really like this one because its kinda obvious to me that blaine have daddy issues??? so usually i just put on my character-backstory that blaines dad left after he came out and never came back

for the first year that he was gone, blaine spended every night trying to contact him. sometimes he just texted, but most of the times he called and left a message crying begging him to come back and tell him what he'd done that made his father hate him so much, his dad never called or texted back

- blaine's parents

(im not sure if this is canon but blaine's mom is named pam)

i know that technically i've already talked about blaine's family when i was talking about his dad but that is so complex i felt i had to do a topic exclusive for that

i believe blaine has and always had a good relationship with his mother, yes she was usually gone because she works selling a really famous cosmetic line she created (to me the andersons are a really known name) that would explain how blaine could study in a school like dalton (he said so himself that dalton isnt a school that anyone could afford), and why she is never there

but despite her being busy with her job, she always tried to keep im touch with blaine, texting him, and calling and skyping

blaine always missed her, but he tried to not make her feel guilty about working too much, because she loves her job

sometimes he got really depressed, because he wished she could be there to see him sing with his friends, or just be there so that he could hang out with his mom like all of his friends did with their parents

his das was a businessman, i dont know why it just fits to me, also idk what kind of business because i dont understand any of it so thats up to imagination

before he came out, he and his dad were super close, sure his dad a lot of the time was busy but he was at home more than his mom, his dad was the one that introduced him to liking sports, and they always watched games together (cooper would join in too) and his dad always let him have a sip of his beer, blaine always loved those moments and his dad was like a hero to him, he was sure that coming out to him would be easy, because he would love him no matter what

all of the andersons have always been brodway babys, all 4 of them liked to sing, tod was a little bit more serious and didnt dance around the house like cooper, blaine and pam but he enjoyed seeing them having fun

the andersons were like the perfect family of the neirbourhood, all 4 of them are very good looking, talented and educated so yes everybody thought they were perfect

they all lived in the philippines until blaine was 5, and then moved to ohio because tod got a really good job offer there

after blaine came out, his parents argued A LOT. tod would ask himself and pam of what he had done wrong and pam would say its nobodys fault and thats just how blaine is

(to me that was the time tod was revealed to be an asshole and not long after he divorced pam and stoped talking to all of them, except for cooper, he and cooper still talked)

- blaine's bullying

the bullying blaine went through was a lot like kurt's, people laughing at him, shoving him around, beating him up, etc

he tried putting a brave face through it but he started losing all of his light, even more when all of his complains didnt matter at all

it only got sort of better when he met skylar (thats the kid he went to sadie hawkings with, i read in a fic that was his name and stuck with me so im calling him skylar)

skylar was going through the same thing he was, and one time blaine saw him getting shoved at lockers, and helped him pick up his books and thats were they started talking

maybe they liked each other, they never got to find out because after the bash, skylar never spoke to blaine again

blaine was in a 2 week coma after getting beat up, and the first thing he said when he woke up was "where's my dad" and his mom had to gently tell him his das was not there. that was when blaine realized he actually meant nothing to his dad and that broken him even more

he was bashed about 3 months after his father left him, and for the rest of that school year he was homeschooled by a teacher his mother hired

- blaine joining dalton and the warblers

so, since blaine is a year younger than kurt, in my head goes sorta of like this

he came out when he was 13, that was the time he was bullied, beaten up abandoned and homeschooled, and he joined dalton when he was 14, but to be a warbler he had to be a little older than that, so he had to audition to join (im guessing you dont have to audition to be a warbler, just to have a lead, i mean kurt didnt auditioned, right?) and and trent auditioned together, they became friends and were roomates (dalton is a boarding school DONT @ ME EVERYBODY KNOWS ITS TRUE)

it took blaine a while to take the step to audition, because he was still scared, but wes and david helped him and gave him a little seed of the confidence he pretends to have later on, but when he sang for the warblers for the first time they were all blowed away by how good was his singing voice even if he was only 14

after he felt comfortable in the warblers, he became friends with nick and jeff, and they were a trio of dumbassess, wes and david (usually the most mature of all the warblers) sighed everytime they saw nick, jeff and blaine doing something stupid

trent joined in sometimes but he always had been a really chill dude, and he saw blaine as a older brother (even tho blaine is younger than him)

jeff, nick and blaine pulled pranks on wes and david like hiding stuff from them and act all inocent when they asked if they saw said thing

the warblers had a bet going on how long would it take for kurt and blaine to start dating (and yes all of them shipped klaine, and even after kurt and blaine went to mckinley the warblers still kept hearing about them and seeing them on jacob ben israel's blog)

jeff, nick, trent, wes and david were the only real friends blaine had there

wes and david has already gratuated when the slushie happened, and nick, jeff and trent all apologized to blaine after that (even though they had no idea that was gonna happen) but their friendship was never the same

- blaine and cooper's relationship

as we know, blaine and cooper didnt got very along when blaine was growing up, cooper is 9 years older than blaine, and has always been really hard on him and thaat made blaine really dislike cooper, even tho he really wanted for them to be friends, he always has bitter feelings towards him duo to all of the pressure and expectation he was under because cooper was the oldest, and blaine felt like he had to be just as good or better than him, so he also had a lot A LOT of jealousy

but that started to change after "big brother", when they talk things out, cooper finally realizes how blaine feels, and starts doing his best to be best brother to blaine

they dont become besties immediatly, blaine helps him with his audition (which makes kurt really proud and happy seeing cooper being all excited talking to blaine, while blaine is trying to pretend like hes cool but actually hes just as excited), and they start to talk more and more after that

after finn dies is when they start getting actually close, after the funeral, he calls cooper but dosent say the reason why, he just says that he loves him and that he misses his big brother, they call and talk to each other a lot more after cooper finds out about finn

when cooper has a son, he and blaine teach the little guy how to dance and they play a lot of happy and fun piano songs to him

- the anderhummel family

blaine and burt are actually really close, they both like sports and beer so they watch games together and bet about whos gonna win, burt sorta of became the dad blaine lost, but in a non weird way, because they both agreed that blaine calling burt "dad" after he married kurt was just... weird

finn and blaine played a lot of videogames together, sam and puck played with them too, but when kurt was helping on dinner or more interested in a magazine or trying to convince carole to let him do a makeover on her, finn and blaine played videogames and maybe sometimes gossip about kurt and rachel (after he became besties with sam he did that same thing but hey playing videogames and talking about your s/o is fun!)

carole took care of blaine when he was in the hospital for the eye surgery, and when he was hangover at kurt's after biota she helped him with all the vomiting and headaches and all of that

pam met carole and burt when blaine got slushied, blaine was already like family to the hudson-hummels at that point, so when burt found out what happened he ran to the hospital, (carole was already working there anyway) and thats where they met, it wasnt ideal and all of them wete stressed and worried but they got along pretty well

pam, burt and carole werent really close since pam was usually out working, but the few times they sat down to talk to each other they really liked. pam thinks burt and carole are a sweet couple, that raised two wondeful boys and burt and carole think that pam is a sweet and funny lady, they all exchanged embarassing stories about kurt and blaine (that made them go "MOM DONT TELL THEM THAT" or "DAS STOP I WAS 7")

pam absolutely adores kurt, he was fascinated when he found out she had a line of cosmetics and spended hours talking to her about skincare routines

blaine can always make carole laugh, she thinks hes a sweetheart and usually keeps burt from bursting into the room when the door of kurts bedroom is closed ("i told them already, leave at least 2 inches open, is that really so hard??" "honey, relax they're just watching a movie" "im going in there" "no you're not leave the boys alone")

burt has walked in a few times on klaine making out on the couch and he always makes a joke about it to not make it awkward

burt was thrillled to know he was gonna be a grandpa, and he spoils tracy anderson to OBLIVION (blaine doesnt argues because he sorta of does the same thing)

even after both breakups, burt and blaine had always kept in touch, maybe it wasnt what it used to be when he and kurt were still mad at each other, but once they go back being friends, blaine is a little more comfortable in hangin out with the hudson-family

- blaine's depression in s6

i think is canon thay blaine had depression and anxiety during the whole show, right? it just got worse in s6 because kurt breaking up with him was sort of what pulled the trigger

it begun when his father neglected him, and it only got worse and worse, he was abandoned by his father and sometimes felt like by his mother and brother too, he had anxiety and it got worse after sadie hawkings, then kurt and him broke up for the first time, and he kept bottling it all up until it all reached the boiling point and it all exploded when kurt broke up with him

(side note, i think that when kurt started pulling away from him in s6, it reminded him of his dad pulling away too, his dad tried to bond with him but i feel that as harder blaine tried to make his dad stay, didnt matter and his dad kept pulling away until he was gone, that makes a parallel to s6 breakup, and why blaine was trying so SO hard to make kurt stay, because he had been there before, and he wasnt good enough for his dad, and he really wanted to be good enough for kurt)

so, after they breakup, blaine stays in a cheap hotel, not getting out of bed and feeling empty inside, his phone buzzed a little with missing calls from his friends but at some point the batery died and he just ignored, he only charged after 2 days because he probably had to let people know he's still alive

he went back to the loft in the afternoon, because he knew kurt wouldn't be there, he was going away and leaving nothing behind when kurt showed up, blaine was kinda of embarassed because he was probably stinking and his hair and clothes were a mess

im not sure if they talked at all after the breakup night, but i kinda feel that blaine might have said to kurt something like "you think i'm broken? when are gonna realize the problem here isnt just me? i should have known, everytime things get serious and scary between us you run, you're so afraid of something and honestly i have no idea of what, please just stay away from me" (i dont knooow he was angry and being all cold to kurt and shit i think that happened and maybe thats what made kurt go to therapy)

he got kicked out of nyada because he didnt left his hotel room for anything other than food, and he felt even more lost after receiving the email saying he was no longer a student there, thats when he decided to go back to lima

in lima, he barely left his room, he didnt ate for days and when he wasnt crying he was sleeping, his friends would call, text and sometimes try to visit him but he never texted back, answered the calls or opened the doors for them, sam was the only one that had some success because he was living in lima too and could go to blaine's house more often, sometimes he got lucky and blaine would open the door for him

at first he tried to do pep talks to help his bestie get better, but nothing helped so at one point he just sat there with blaine and did nothing with him, because at least like that he wouldnt be alone

one day blaine felt a little better and started trying to be okay again, it was never easy but he got a job at breadsticks, and even tho he would much rather be in his bed he kept working because at least like that his mind was busy with something

after he started therapy, he still felt empty inside, the world was still sorta of grey to him and he didnt felt like doing anything, so he had to take meds for that, and kept taking them even after kurt cane back (but as blaine was getting better they slowly became less and less needed)

when blaine started working at dalton, he was already in a much better place that he was when he came back, and throughout s6 he was still battling depression, and wasnt always okay, sometimes he would still want to just be alone and dont talk to anybody or do anything, and if that happened when he was surronded with people he would just be more quiet, that sometimes got rachel and kurt's attention, because they're not used to this "new" blaine and when they asked him if he was doing okay he would just say "yeah, im just tired" sam later on explained to them what that usually meant, it meant that blaine needed some alone time because he was draining himself a lot

- blaine at nyada vs blaine at nyu

soooo i have a good theory about this one, at nyada blaine was constantly surronded by people who would probably kill someone to get at the top, to be the best

and was such a competitive place, that ended up being toxic for blaine. i used to think that he didnt fit there because he always was one of the best in show choir and dalton and he was always *that* guy, but now i think he didnt fit there because actually he dosent like competition that much

okay, sure, playful competiton with your friends its fun, show choir competiton is fun, fighting with tina, mercedes, rachel, santana and unique about solos was fun because it was serious but he was with his friends so okay, whatever

but the competition they had at nyada was just SO MUCH, and lets agree nyada is kinda of a toxic place in general, people made fun of kurts face and clothing there, rachel's "friends" ditched her when she lost the diva off to kurt and started kissing up to him, and (im not sure about this one but like 99%) people laughed when blaine lost to kurt at combat's class

my point is, in nyada, people only like you if you do well in classes, there's a lot of lying and backstabbing going on and c'mon blaine pratically grew up like this with cooper

always not good enough, always behind, always made fun of, never being great at anything, so maybe thats why blaine felt so stressed at nyada, and why he gets so insecure in 5x16, seeing kurt being praised and getting all of that attention might have reminded him of the years he and cooper didnt get along so well

he didnt found himself at nyada, mostly he was there because it was said to be the best school and rachel and kurt were there, so great, right?

but i get the feeling that at nyu things were a little lighter, not easier, but lighter, it didnt had so much toxic people, it wasnt a place where it was kill or be killed, people helped each other when needed and yes there was still competition, obviously but (almost) nobody made fun of people for failing

(i said almost there because im sure there was some douchbags there too, they're everywhere, but i hope you got my point)

- blaine's friendships

i am almost done i am so sorry this is so long i've been here for like 2 hours

i have some small headcanons about blaine's friends, because we did NOT get enough of his friendships (im leaving kurt out of this one because maybe one day ill do a meta/hc/theory about klaine....... maybe)

mike and blaine were besties on s3

they both like to dance and sometimes they+brittany would do a dance number together, sometimes for the glee club to see, sometimes only to themselves because thats fun

mike talked with blaine after the its not right but its okay number to see what happened and if he was okay (actually it was mostly blaine just venting about it "AND THEN HE SAID HE WANTED TO MAKE KURTS VOICE HIS RINGTONE I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK????????")

blaine talked to mike about mike's dad because he knew what mike was going through and they both agreed thay family sucks sometimes

after mike graduated he and blaine kept têxtil each other and sometimes sending gifs or videos of dance moves to each other

santana and blaine were actually really good friends

after the glee club found out about what santana's grandmother had done when she came out, when they were alone blaine told santana about his dad, even tho he was afraid she was gonna tell everyone because he doesnt like talking about it, just so that she would know that shes not alone and its not her fault, santana never once teased or told anyone about this, she always sorta of liked him and thought he was nice but that moment she started seeing him as a friend

while preparing for the new directions vs warblers in 3x11, santana tried helping blaine bring out his inner bad boy, she helped him pick his outfit and they planned together the whole performance

(im stealing this one from a post i rebloged i guess a day ago? i didnt found the blog to tag but this is the post) > santana and blaine are friends on facebook, and follow each other on twitter and instagram, and they always spam on each others profiles because they're comfortable to do that with each other

santana kinda sees blaine as a male version of brittany, so she has this need of protecting him (which is kinda why she was super invested in getting him justice for his eye)

speaking of his eye, when he was at home before surgery, santana went there and told that she was gonna make sebastian confess what he'd put on thr slushie, blaine asked her how she knew where she lived but she cut him off, she also came back there after and told him everything, and she and kurt asked him what he wanted to do about it

brittany and blaine really were sunshine twins

they always liked each other, blaine didnt get her at first, but he got used to it

she always talked to him about cats, and what lord tubbington was up to, she tried inviting him to fondue for 2 but he knew that she would ask some really private questions so he always came up with an excuse

after he almost went back to dalton, she (alongside with tina, sam and marley) tried to make him feel as welcome as possible

when she was dating sam, sometimes the three of them would go to her house after school and cuddle in her bed with lord tubbington while watching a movie

when britt was planning their weddings, she asked blaine to try up some suits (with the excuse that she wasnt sure the one she picked was right), but she asked him that like a day after he kissed kurt at rachels party so she could tell he was kinda sad and asked him why, he told her and she said it was gonna be okay because their love was magical (it was weird but it did made blaine feel good, so...) she was also the only person he told that

blaine and britt always have ideas like "we should totally put glitter in the entire room to celebrate our wedding aniversary!" kurt and santana shut down the idea at the same time

blamtina were like 3 chaotic brothers

sam and blaine would have a dumb idea that would result in absolute chaos (but funny tho) and tina always plays along with them even if she thinks its a bad idea

the three of them are completely harry potter nerds, sam and blaine are hufflepuffs while tina is a ravenclaw, in a halloween party in s4 they went as the golden trio

after graduation, sam and blaine still skyped tina and told her all about ny, and she would tell them all about her collage

sam kept his promise of sending his imitations to tina and blaine sometimes would call her to vent about a fight he and kurt had

blaine read all of the harry potter books to sam

after sam talked blaine into staying at mckinley, sam and tina would always be with blaine, always talking to him, and spending time with him, thats how the 3 of them got so close

marley and blaine were good friends

when marley joined the new directions, blaine was one of the first to make her feel welcome

when blaine almost left for dalton, she tried make him see that she liked him in the nd too, and would randomly start talking to him so that he wouldnt feel alone

she would rant about jake to him sometimes, like how he wanted to have sex but she wasnt ready, and blaine told her she should do it only when she felt comfortable

after she got suspended, he apologized for yelling at her because of the performance, and remembered mr schue that she was recovering from an eating desorder and that he shouldnt be so hard at her

unique and blaine were "frenemies"

they started off not liking each other, since they both wanted it to be the new rachel, even after blaine won, he and unique still were kinda competitive with each other

but eventually they became sort-of-friends, they sang together sometimes when no one else was there, and they liked to pretend to not like each other but yes they did and it was just their thing

sometimes marley would do a sleepover and she would call blaine, unique and tina, while marley was talking about jake or tina was talking about missing mike, blaine would braid unique's wig and she would try to convince him to let her see his hair without gel

when the whole plot of unique and the bathroom happened, when mr schue told everyone he couldnt give up twerking, blaine stood up for unique saying that wasnt fair and mr schue should try harder to help her, he also held her hand (alongside with marley) when she was scared of having to go to the bathroom again

blaine and mercedes talked to each other more than twice :O

lol ok im not sorry for that title

mercedes and blaine LIVED together people, she used to be kurts best friend, and sams girlfriend are you telling me they barely talked to each other? no

in fact, they really like each other's company, blaine is kinda of a goofball and mercedes thinks its funny

he would ask her to talk to sam when blaine wanted something from him, and mercedes did the same with kurt

sam and blaine would do stupid things together (like dance around their house in their underwear) just to make mercedes laugh, they swore to never tell anyone, and they never did

sometimes at 3 am when no one could sleep they would all have a little dance party until they got tired

blaine and mercedes are junky food addicts, they eat healthy and stuff but they love some cake at 5 in the morning

one time when kurt and mercedes were arguing about the tots, blaine sided with mercedes and told her he agreed that tots are delicious

#ok i think thats it #if you read it until the end.... are you okay?#i had some more but i want to post this today and i want to go to sleep so lets leave it like that #maybe i should have splitted in 2 parts???? its so long 😳#i hope this didnt get to tiring to read #anywayyyyy #glee #blaine meta #blaine anderson #blangst #ps if you see some mispelling ignore it im kinda sleepy so... hehe

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shyrose57 · 4 years ago

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Brothers anon, sorry its been like 2 days since I last submitted something! I've been busy and whenever I finally had time to sit down and write this all its like 1 in the morning. I hope its still ok for me to send these.

🌹 anon ima respond to you first, your The Deal au could be the reason why and how Ranboos and Dreams soul got mixed and linked together. But then a problem is how did it pass to Ranbob? In my au, each person has their own soul basically. And while certain attributes like DNA can be passed through bloodlines, souls can't, as their unique to their person.

What left Ranbob vulnerable to Dream is that he was seen as the star student. The apprentice everyone wanted. He always got perfect grades and was seen as the smartest in the City. This did not go well. As Ranbob was put under a ton of pressure to always stay perfect and get everything right. When his grades started to slip and his chosen mentor started to put even more work on him, his mentality started to suffer. With him losing sleep and starting to not care for himself or do the basic necessities like eating or drinking, all in an effort to be "perfect". Its through this need, and weakened state over all, Dream's presence was able to slip in and convince him to let him help.

Benjamin is 30, Isaac 29, Cletus is 24, and Charles is 27.

When Ranbob first told Ran about the Dream mask and how he wasnt himself, Ran did not believe him at all. And kept saying that he needs to stop lying and fess up to what he did and pay for it. Others tried to convince him that his brother really wasn't in control of himself, but was met with strong skepticism, scoffs, and disbelief. With Ran not beliving that was the truth at all.

Watson was very shocked but quickly reorganized himself cause he had to calm Jackie, and its only after Jackie fell asleep he was like "Oh fuck. I really am the dad huh?" Jackie was embarrassed at first but after some prodding did say how he truly saw Watson as a dad figure in his life. And everyone had different reactions to Watson suddenly accepting and fitting into the dad role. Jackie was excited and immediately started calling him dad and asking him awkward dad questions "Dad whats puberty?" "Uhhh-" "Dad where do babies come from?" "Ask your dad about that!" "But you are my dad!" Ran seemed indifferent about it but Watson can tell he's revealed to have someone to talk too, and someone to go to if things get to much. Grievous keeps sating he doesn't need a dad but he's the one that goes to Watson the most for things like hugs, comfort, and advice.

Jackie and Grievous do everything. They rig the battle field so if someone steps in a certain area water will shoot up into their face, Grievous usually taunts and distracts opponents so Jackie can sneak up behind them and just latch onto them and cover their eyes while giggling like a madman as the opponent screams and runs around trying to get him off. Jackie regularly pulls peoples seat out from under them, while Grievous scares them and makes them choke or drop something. But they do know peoples limits. Like for Ran, no water related pranks (there was an incident where Grievous spilled a whole bucket of water on him and Ran got severe burns and had to stay in the hospital ward for a few days), for Watson don't mess with his bow or arrows, he will stab you. And for eachother, Jackie, no pranks that leave him alone for extended periods of time or makes it seems like everyone is gone/left. For Grievous no pranks centered around food or drinks (like putting toothpaste in his sandwich or putting pepper in his beer).

Ran and Jackie have a 50/50 win if that makes sense. They both win and lose pretty often. They play games like Spoons, Go Fish, Dart Throwing (Watson needs to be present for this one), something similar to Cards Against Humanity, Poker (everyone plays during this one), and Tic Tac Toe.

Sometimes Jackie loves being the smallest and other times hates it. He hates it when Ran steals something of his and holds it above his head, he sometimes resorts to aggressively climbing Ran to get it but Ran tends to just pluck him off, and people make fun of him in a mean natured way (he's fine with light teasing). But he loves it when he rides Ran's shoulders or can duck under peoples legs and trip em. Because he's also small and fast he's hard to catch and that definitely comes in handy during fights. No ones particularly protective of eachother (excluding Ran who's protective of everyone), because they know none of them like being babied and they can all hold their own, though they will quickly flock to help eachother if they need it. Ran definitely flaunts it whenever their in a agurement.

There is a area under the fighting arena of the pit where they stay. Theres separate rooms for everyone, training areas, dinning areas, and just chilling areas. Theres even extra rooms meant for often visiting friends (Like Genevieve) and some for storage of weapons which also holds things to sharpen them or get new ones. The Pit itself is in the middle of a gaint city, so there are tons of stores and food areas around. And because of a high salary the King gives them they go out quite often, often eating out and browsing stores when their not training or sleeping.

If by other combinations you mean like Ran-Jackie, Ran-Grievous, Watson-Jackie, and Watson-Grievous then it highly varies. Watson and Jackie are by far the worst team, their styles just don't match and constantly but heads during battles. Watson and Grievous are probably the best out of the 4 teams because Grievous can be serious and works well with Watson as he's much more willing to change his fighting style to accommodate whats needed. Ran and Jackie are like Jackie and Grievous, but they aren't nearly as insane. Rather Ran provides distractions while fighting to give Jackie time to sneak up behind them. Ran also is the only one able to actually throw Jackie, which they sometimes do during battles. And Ran and Grievous work well together, but not as much as Watson and Grievous, its just a few things of both their styles don't match or could potentially cause problems.

He's clumsy flat out, he isn't used to having full control and needs to get used to certain things like walking or talking again. He is also severely dehydrated and malnutritished because Dream didn't care enough to drink or eat. He's also incredibly skittish and scared easily. He and Cletus's relationship isn't solved fast at all, it takes months and the work of everyone to get the two comfortable around eachother. They start by putting Cletus on watching duty, where he watches over Ranbob to make sure he's eating and drinking and resting while not tiring himself out. Then after a month or 2 Isaac, Benjamin, and Charles start purposely leaving the two in a room alone toghere to get them to talk stuff out. It takes 3 months until their comfortable enough with eachother to willingly talk and hang out. Oh the house building attempts went aboustely awful. They sometimes fell on Ranbob! And when they didn't they just collapsed or got blown away by the wind, but Isaac did ofter help a few times and showed him multiple different ways to make sure the walls stay up and keep the cold out.

Ran is very unhappy with Ranbobs haunting, he thinks their kind of like Ranbob in which they've all killed people and considers them a threat at first, but when he sees how his haunting likes and interacts with Ranbob's, he losens up a bit, his group trusts them, so he has to trust them a little bit. But he doesn't trust them or like them nearly as much as he trusts and likes his haunting.

Im guessing you mean who from the two groups get along the easiest. Most of them take a while to get to know eachother, like a few hours. But after that their all really close. Charles and Jackie, Cletus and Grievous, and Benjamin, Isaac, and Watson are the groups that get along really well really fast.

Im honestly probably am going to go for them adventuring outside the City to try to get the brothers to get along again. Mostly cause I thought of the idea that what if Watson, Jackie, and Grievous all lie to Ran, and while they are actually going on an adventure, they lie to him that his brother and his group isn't coming. Then when its much to late for Ran to back out, Watson just goes "Oh yeah! Your brother and his group are traveling with us. And you can't do anything about it." And Ran just sits there shocked.

Ran and Ranbob are both subtle protective of their group. With Ranbob never really getting aggressive or going into overbearing. But for Ran, if someone in his group is injured badly enough or if there's a big enough threat he does get overbearing and extremely aggressive towards whatever/whoever the threat is *cough cough Ranbob cough*. Ranbob tends to be very physical, listening more to a certain instincts that tell him to constantly have a view on or hold his family, as if he doesnt see or touch them for a long time he gets very anxious and panicky, thinking his family is dead and that he's all alone again. His group understands this and so tends to not stray to far away from Ranbob. He will also follow his group like a lost puppy at times. Ran while listens more to the instinct that tells him at random times to make sure his family is ok and to bond with them. The bonding leads to him randomly grabbing them and just sitting down with them, most likely playing games. While the random urge to check on them has led to him waking them up during the middle of the night or interrupting his own conversation or others conversations just to ask if their ok. His took a while to understand why he does it, but now if he wakes them up or drags them somewhere, they know to go along with it and comfort him during those times.

Hybrids are rare! Especially aggressive or netural type mobs like Ran, Ranbob, and Porkius are. Their actually seen as monsters and are chased out or hunted in other city's because people aren't accepting of them. Theres very few city's like Subbin that fully welcome and are even led by hybrids. So there are more hybrids in Subbin, than there is anywhere else.

Sorry this is so long ':)

Asks are always welcome here, and don’t worry about taking a bit or anything. The questions aren’t going anywhere, there’s plenty of time.

Here’s that for you,🌹anon.

--------------------

1: Wow, Ranbob’s really going through it, huh? Does he ever start to fall back on that need to be ‘perfect’ while with the others? If so, how do they deal with that? And how is he with others offering to help him? If he even can really recall falling under Dream’s thrall, by accepting such an offer, how does he react to others doing the same, even if their intentions are far different?

2: So we’ve settled all the ages down, nice. You figure out anything for their backstory yet? And how do their ages affect their relationships with one another? Does Benjamin take the lead a lot? Or is he more of a follower that still has a lot of say? Who met who first?

3: So Ran’s obviously going to be awhile before he believes what went down. Still, I can’t imagine he’d have been as willing to go along with his hauntings little roadtrip plan if he wasn’t swayed at least a bit, since I can’t imagine he wouldn’t have put his foot down if he truly though Ranbob had done what he did. Why exactly does he go along with it? Does some small part of him want to give his brother a chance? Is he just confident he can overpower him, and looking for an opportunity to settle the score? Does he see something that makes him hope a bit? What’s going down there, anon?

4: On one hand, very adorable. One the other hand, poor Watson. Does Jackie actually not know that stuff, or does he do that just to mess with his new father figure? It seems like they all take to it pretty well overall though.

5: I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Two people to truly fear. How many people straight up forfeit when faced with this combination? It seems like they’ve had some interesting times, good and bad. How’d those play out? As for those last two, I’m sensing a bit of a backstory. Why does Grievous not like stuff being put into his food? And why’s Jackie not good with being left?

6: So it’s fifty/fifty, huh? Who wins the most at what games? And uh, Watson has to be present for Dart Throwing. What happened there? How’s everyone’s poker faces? Who’s got the best luck in games of chance?

7: A love/hate relationship with height. I feel ya, Jackie. Very funny to imagine though, Jackie just, physically climbing up Ran. How tall even is this guy?? How do they deal with meaner teasing, not just from the gladiators, but from general bullies? Not everybody’s as friendly as some of the Pit fighters, after all. And how do the fishermen react with their fighting skills? Obviously, they must know how to fight somewhat, to have entered the Pit, but the gladiators do this for a living. How much is the difference in skill level? And does the gang ever get to show off just how skilled they are?

8: Their home sounds very nice, honestly, I wished I could live there, minus the people. What’s everyone’s rooms look like? How have they personalized them? Which brings up another question-what kind of interests and hobbies do they have? What kind of things do they do that aren’t fighting and related to such? And they must be pretty well known, to have such high pay. Any of them have an arena title, or some sort of stage name? How many people can recognize the city’s top gladiators on sight? And how do they get around that, when they don’t want to be seen? How do people feel about them in general?

9: All these team ups sound terrifying, and I wouldn’t want to be facing them. How do they deal with it when they get a bad match up? Do they just stay out of each other’s way? Try to take their opponents out quick? Make it one on one? Ran and Jackie have to be my favorite team up, solely for the fact that you’ve said Ran straight up throws him. Like?? Imagine coming to the King’s Pit, a well known, popular place, hoping to prove yourself, and then getting taking out by a flying midget, just tossed at you by a ridiculously tall endermen hybrid. How would you feel??

10: Ranbob is just really going through the ringer here. How many times does he just drop stuff, or trip over his feet? Does he ever get better, or does he still retain a clumsy streak? If so, how does Ran react to that? It’s very good he and Cletus bond! Are they just as close as the others, or is there still a bit of distance? How often does Ranbob forget to eat or drink, or really just take a break? How long does it take to get him to start remembering to do that stuff again?

Does he ever slip up while with the gladiators? Also, in a room? Do the fisherman expand their house more, or do they just leave them in the house? Does Ranbob ever get his own house up? If so, does he use it at all, or is it more for storage? And how many times did he fall asleep out there, get injured, or not realize it was about to rain? How long did it take before Benjamin or Charles put their foot down and make him stay in for a bit?

Has Ranbob ever even dealt with rain before, or a storm above water? If not, how’d he react to it?

11: Oh, boy, Ran. Your concerns are understandable, but definitely going to lead to some angst. Is he just on edge the whole time? How many times does he just glare at them, or straight up steal one of his haunting back a few feet away from Ranbob’s? Are the fishermen ever worried he might hurt them?

12: How do both hybrids deal with their groups bonding? I imagine Ranbob’s pretty happy with it, but how about Ran? As you said, he doesn’t seem to be the biggest fan of these guys.

13: Roadtrip! Gotta love a roadtrip! What kind of places do they head? Any transportation, or is it just walking, enjoying nature? Do they go on an adventure to look for something cool? What’re they getting up to?

14: So Ran and Ranbob both act on their instincts in different ways. How do they feel about seeing how the other acts? What happens if any of the fishermen stray too far, or get separated from Ranbob? Same question to Ran. Ran just...like...picks up members of his haunting? Do people just see him walk around with them dangling in his arms? He must be pretty strong. How often does he do this? How else do their instincts lead to them acting? Cuddle piles, picking up blocks, keeping their groups close together, ect?

15: So Subbin’s pretty much a safe space for hybrids? Interesting. But since the groups are heading out, does this mean they run into some trouble outside of the city? And is there ever trouble within it?

Other questions: Does Karl play any further part in this, or has he already played his role for good? Does the gang ever end up back at Mizu? Do any of the group have a pet or something similar? With there be any sort of connection to other Tales, even if only slightly, or will they be solely focused on these two? Does Ranbob pick up his studies of Ranboo as best he can once he’s free, or does he leave it all behind entirely?

Thanks for the ask, this AU’s become quite interesting. I can’t wait to see where it goes!

#dream smp #Brothers AU #dream smp au #ranbob #ran #jackie #watson #grievous #tales from the smp #isaac #cletus #charles #benjamin

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another-stark-sub · 4 years ago

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Tony headcanon prompt He finds out you have a breath play/choking kink. Then what?

Huh, you know i havejt thought about my latent breath play kink in a while... this is gonna be fun. 18+ nsfw stuff to follow! Including breathplay and dom/sub vibes. Remember to practice breathplay safely! (Also, if this is inaccurate, please tell me. I tried to do some research kn how to do it safely but i didnt check as many sources as a usually do for oneshots.)

Ok so chokers. I mean the necklaces. Theyre cute and making a comeback, so of course one of Tonys many gifts to you is a choker of your own.

You didnt think much of it when you got it. Other than Aw beautiful new necklace that my loving boyfriend gave me

But, then your mind thought up some stuff involving the necklace and sex

You werent comfortable sharing with Tony. Not yet. So instead you masturabated with the choker on. It wasnt super good or anything, but it satisfied you for now.

But ut was hard not tell him

One of Tonys most attractive things was his intelligence, and when he worked, he used his hands. His deft, agile fingers would fiddle with something all the time and you wanted them to fiddle with you

So finally, one night while making iut against the wall, you told him. "I was wondering something."

"Is that code for something?"

"No, just thinking."

He laughed and intertwined his fingers with yours. "What pretty thoughts are in your head?"

"Well, thats the thing, they arent pretty. In fact, theyre kinda... dirty?"

Tony was intrigued. "Go on."

You pulled on your choker slightly. "Choking. Or breathplay. Whichever. Just thought maybe we could do it sometime, if youre comfortable."

"Oh!" He smiled and traced the line where your choker met your skin. "Thats why you love this thing so much."

"Its also very pretty and versatile."

He nodded. "Versatile indeed." He leaned ib close and his voice went deeper, "Wanna try now?"

"Now?"

"Mhm."

You felt almost starstruck. "Please."

His laugh rumbled and then his hand was wrapped around your throat and he shoved you back against the wall. His fingers found the side of your throat and he ever so lightly pressed against it. Your moan vibrated against his hand and back to you and he kissed you the way he wanted to.

As he kissed your cheek and the parts of your neck he exposed, he checked, "What's the word you use to stop this?"

"Red," you responded, your throat fluttering against his hand.

"And your signal to stop?"

You tapped the hand around your neck with two fingers twice.

"Signal to slow down?"

You pinched his finger.

"Good girl."

With his hand still wrapped around your neck, he undressed you. Your button up was unbuttoned and your skirt unzipped and dropped to the floor. Tony pulled down your bra and sucked hickies onto your tits, all while you could only whine and writhe against him, a dizziness slowly trickling in.

Then, his lips were on yours again. He let go of your throat, letting you take deep breaths in between kisses. The feeling of dizziness was replaced with pleasure as your head mind came back to Earth.

Tonys hands traveled to your crotch and he easily thrust two fingers into you and jusy as he began to curl them to rub your g spot, he put his other hand around your throat, fhe lightheadedness settling in again

"Look at you, so desperate to be controlled." He smiled. "Dont even wanna breathe without my permission."

You writhed against him, the pleasure and pressure of your g spot taking over your mind. Because you were all his to control. You wanted that. You craved it.

Some how, you were suddenly on the bed with Tony above you and before you could say his name, his cock was inside you.

And his finger was hooked around your choker. "Such a pretty little thing around the neck of my pretty little whore." He smiled and leaned in close. "Say, 'thank you, sir.'"

"Thank you, sir." And you meant it.

"You're welcome." His finger pressed against the side of your throat again and he began to fuck you rough and fast.

You couldnt breathe that well and your foggy mind could only think of the pleasure of having him thrust into you over and over and over again, and just as you were on the edge, he let go of your neck.

The blood rushed back to your head, his lips met yours, and the pleasure was beyond comparison. With some semblemce of control you kissed him back and moaned his name against his lips.

Tony rolled off of you and checked on you. "You ok?"

You nodded, still a little lightheaded. "That was wonderful."

He laughed and kissed you. "You don't have to hide your thoughts from me."

"Even the dirty ones?"

"Especially those."

#tony stark smut #tony stark x reader #tony stark headcanons #smutty saturday

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limelocked · 4 years ago

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hello you talked about maybe making a post examining phils trauma and I would absolutely love that if you do decide to make it

okay, this post will be very unstructured and may be triggering to some readers so go into it knowing this and stay safe

i dont know how many people in this fandom have been suicidal but i can guess that a smaller number have had a suicidal friend and have had to talk them down

i had a friend who was a pathological liar so i dont actually know what was happening at the time since i now doubt everything that person said to me however at the time i fully believed it when this person told me that they were going to take their own life by jumping out the window from high up in a multistory building

this context is important because if you think about it too hard what phil did wasnt murder, it was assisted suicide done semi unconsentually

phil couldnt get into dreamsmp before he “hacked” his way in on the 16th and any contact with dreamsmp before that was instigated by the people on the server or went through what his chat told him, there was Nothing that he could do before he was whitelisted

then we look at alivebur who had tnt IN the button room before quackity and tommy took it out and was quite clearly depressed, using blue already before becoming ghostbur as a way to cope

so phil joins the server, he is in this cramped room and people are already fighting outside, he only thinks that whats at risk is some buildings being blown up but... chat has told him stuff that might be true so he tries to talk wilbur down and he does pretty well all things considered... and he fails... wilbur presses the button and while neither of them die what happens afterwards is something that is HORRAFYING to me

wilbur begs phil to kill him, gives him a sword, invokes killza, he tells phil that he should do it because THEY all want him to, They all Want wilbur dead and phil tries to defend himself, man is fucking panicking “YOURE MY SON!” but the human mind isnt really made to... handle that kind of stress and phil never got the time to really... process the information or anything at all, at this point he might not even know about how canon deaths work since he only know schlatt died via heart attack/falling out of the world

so the mind goes into autopilot and he kills wilbur, he doesnt have time to process it because then techno goes to spawn the withers and he has to deal with that

there is some sick and wrong part of you while trying to talk someone down from suicide that just wants it to be over, that wants your own personal stress and trauma to just finally be over and for me in highschool this equated to wishing for either this person i was talking down to finally be fine and out of harms way or to just... be dead, and thats horrible its so sick and twisted of the brain to do but it would remove the pressure of being the single thread holding this persons life up and out of the abyss because at that time you are the only support system that person has

phil said that he went into the arctic to reflect and process and he prolly did but he comes back to ghostbur, and alivebur in the end wasnt the wilbur he knew but ghostbur is even less so, ghostbur is a shadow of what wilbur was and a CONSTANT reminder of what happened to him, thats why phil doesnt really... like ghostbur... he’s easily annoyed at ghostbur and snaps at him sometimes, ghostbur reminds him not only by EXISTING but by constantly telling him about how actually ghostbur is happy that phil killed alivebur and phil is never comfortable when ghostbur brings this up, replying to ghostbur in this kinda... restrained and quiet voice

i cannot blame phil for not alligning with lmanburg, that group of people twisted his son into someone that forced phil into assisted suicide and that group just kept being corrupt. Dream didnt take down the walls, phil and bad did and yet he is placed under house arrest and has to watch his best friend be executed by the president who might also be his son, he has to see his grandson, WILBURS LEGACY steal from him, force his hand again into back handedly betraying said best friend and then have the AUDACITY to claim that he still loves his grandad

and lets not beat around the bush; phil watched techno die, a totem brings you back from the dead, it doesnt shield you from the death itself so thats two of phils closest relationships killed by lmanburg, first wilbur then techno

i dont think that phil only left lmanburg because of anger against the government, i think he also left and decided to stay with techno because techno is consistent and he is safe. techno is a rock that never changes and hes strong enough to not depend on phil for carrying his emotional bagage. techno is so very predictable and hes strong enough to be able to fend for himself, phil doesnt have to worry about techno

i think tldr on phil: watching your best friend get executed right in front of you while you can do nothing is pretty fucked up but the fact that phil essentially failed to talk his son down from suicide then was forced to kill him as part of that suicide is like... deeply fucked up

moral of the story.. kinda? STOP ACTING LIKE PHIL IS A FUCKING TRAINED MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL OR EMERGENCY RESPONDER FOR SUICIDE PREVENTION my man has had his hands tied for so long and finally now hes free to hang out with his safe best friend where he can work thru that trauma

#suicide mention #this is mostly kinda to put down my thoughts because like...#phil is not immune to the effects talking someone down has #not proofread like at all honestly #Anonymous

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justletmeplayminecraft · 4 years ago

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Okay so this may be a lil dumb but imagine the angst potential that Mumbo leaving the MR wasnt about ‘vaults’ he’s just fed up of Grian using him as a scapegoat that lands him in trouble or kinda humiliates him cause my brain goin brrr with that idea

oh this is absolutely not dumb i love it! especially given how they basically just recruited mumbo as a scapegoat, didn't even give him something to do compared to the latest HEP developments which were in xb's video... i love mumbo taking a more active role in his treatment, finally putting his foot down.

also, wrote a short 1kish ficlet under the cut based on mumbo & cub's meet up. it's basically a sad mumbo and cub comforting him but i thought it was sweet. read it if you wish!

It sounds like a weird thing to say. No, in fact, he knows it's a weird thing to say. Yet, looking around the HEP factory, Mumbo finds himself a little reluctant to leave. He must've spent around an hour with Cub already just talking about the vaults he's built. They're impressive things! From the front door, to a vault inside a vault! Mumbo had so many questions, and Cub answered them with matching enthusiasm. And now it's around the time he knows they should be parting ways but-

"Mumbo?" Cub calls him back to attention, voice soft. It echoes around the empty space of the factory, its brick shell waiting to be filled. Scar really is such a good builder. "Dude, you alright?" Mumbo sighs, turning to Cub when he steps beside him.

"I-" He closes his mouth to rethink what he wants to say. His hands tuck into the pockets of his trousers. He'll fiddle with the cuffs of his sleeves otherwise. Learnt habits. Finally, he gathers the courage to ask, "Do you mind if a vent a little?" Cub tilts his head, dark eyes squinting in concern. Mumbo... Wasn't expecting that. Even when Cub speaks, Mumbo's waiting for an excuse why he doesn't have time.

Instead Cub tells him, "Come and sit down, then." He leads Mumbo to the bed he placed earlier. Mumbo doesn't understand why he feels so surprised. When did he get so used to people pushing him away? He takes a seat on the blue quilt, sinking into the comfortable fabric. Cub places down his ender chest, sitting down there, leaning towards him. "What's up, Mumbo? I know it's been a while since we last talked."

"I just-" His hands dig into his lap now they don't fit in his pockets. He refuses to fiddle. "I feel like nobody really appreciates me, you know?" Cub's brows lower enough that Mumbo can see them beneath his helmet.

"On the server? 'Cause, you gotta know we love you here. The stuff you build is incredible, man. I wish I could build farms like you." Mumbo smiles, but his heart isn't in it.

"Sometimes it feels like that's all people want me for." He sighs, sinking onto his legs. His suit crumples around him, pulling tight around his chest. As silly as it sounds, it feels like a layer of protection. Him and his suit in this massive factory. Accompanied by Cub's concerned gaze.

"Explain it to me," Cub encourages. There's no judgment in his voice. None of his body language suggests an ulterior motive. Cub wants to listen to his worries. Goodness, why is that so surprising? Why is he so used to people stepping over him?

"I feel like I'm always just- ugh, I don't know how to say this." He tries to connect his thoughts back together. There's no pressure on him, but he still feels an urge to rush as if Cub's patience might run out any second. He tries again, "I always seem to be the butt of jokes nowadays. I mean, the whole mayor thing, for one. And now! I may act oblivious, but I'm not. Not really. They were setting me up to take their fall and I just- is that fair? Is that fair to me?"

"Mumbo," Cub says his name in a tone similar to Xisuma's when he's telling Mumbo to get some rest. "You understand you can say no to these things, right?" Mumbo's breath comes out in a frustrated puff. Fabric bunches between his fingers, trousers misshapen around his legs.

"I do. At least, I think I do." He scrubs a hand over his face, pushing hair back under his helmet. "Maybe I was foolish. But I hoped, maybe this time, I'd actually be involved in things. I could do something. But I don't even think they consider me a member! Just a scapegoat for them!" His hand returns to his lap like it's made of concrete. "Don't get me wrong, I'd do it for the plot. But... I don't think I'd enjoy it."

"Hey, Mumbo." Cub's voice settles him, gentle and reassuring. Mumbo's shoulders sink at the sound. Was he really holding that much tension? "If I've ever done something to pressure you, then I'm really sorry, man. This is supposed to be for fun." Mumbo finds he can't look at Cub anymore, the genuine apology squeezing his heart tight.

"I- You're okay, Cub. You're fine." His lips twitch into a sad smile. "I know these storylines mean a lot for people, I don't blame anyone... I think I'm just tired." Cub's tanned skin comes into his vision, taking Mumbo's pale hand into his own. Mumbo looks up, finding eyes so earnest it takes his breath away.

"You're right that this isn't fair on you." Mumbo doesn't want to admit that he nearly cries at those words, but he very nearly does. How long has he wanted his worries to be validated, now? His feelings acknowledged? "If there's anything I can do to help, please let me know. I can tell the others to tone it down, if you need."

"No, no, they're okay. I don't want to cause problems." Cub looks like he wants to argue, but he doesn't. Mumbo is grateful. There are some problems he's not ready to unpack just yet.

"That's alright. If you ever want to talk to me, let me know, okay? I'll be a willing ear, all plotlines put aside." Mumbo's smile is genuine this time.

"I... I really appreciate that, Cub. Thank you."

Cub squeezes his hand, "It's no problem, man. It's what friends do." Yeah. Friends. Mumbo swallows.

"I should probably be going. I was hoping to plan out some farms tonight." Despite Cub's concern, he helps Mumbo onto his feet.

"You sure?" Mumbo sends that smile in Cub's direction as he flattens out his suit.

"Yeah. I really am grateful for all this, Cub. It means a lot." Cub's smile is just as nice to see.

"I'm glad. Anything I can do to help. I'm just a message away, got it?" Mumbo nods, tapping the communicator in his cufflink.

"Got it. I'll see you around, dude. Thank you, again."

"Not a problem. Was nice talking to you."

Cub doesn't even make a comment about joining HEP as they part ways. They're just two friends. No war, no plotlines. Mumbo breathes in the grass outside the factory, closing his eyes against the bright sun. It's a beautiful day. He likes the crunch of grass under his shoes, how he can't smell the ever-present fungus from the shopping district.

Yeah. He's got some things to think about.

#hermitcraft #mumbojumbo #mumbo jumbo #cubfan135 #cubfan #my writing #ask #anonymous #honestly my inbox is always open to ideas i Love them #thanks so much for sharing this with me!!!#sorry for hopping on with this ficlet jkgfds

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flowerslightning · 5 years ago

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Have you heard about PFA and MFA?

or the full name is ‘Psychological First Aid’ (PFA) and ‘Mental Health First Aid’ (MFA)

Can we relate it with Cloud Strife? As we all know, Cloud had mental illness and was struggling alone. Let’s take a quick look on this topic then and see if characters in FF7 ever give PFA/MFA to Cloud or to each other. This is going to be a looooong post although I tried to simplified it, so, yeah. Good luck reading this !

Disclaimer : I’m not a psychologist. I’m still a student and psych is not my major field. During my intern, other than we got exposed a lot about psychiatric disorders and ways to deal with them, we also got trained psychological first aid in emergency department. If it wasnt because of this quarantine, i would have finished my training in emergency field. There might be false interpretation here or there, forgive me for that and pls correct any mistake in this post

This will probably trigger LTD. Sorry, but I had to, Pls read this post with open mind. Keep in mind I like both Tifa and Aerith, i have no grudges agaisnt Barret, Vincent, Nanaki or Cid so I am not being bias with any of them. I forgot a lot of stuff in OG (I played it when I was really really small), so I will be using lots FF7R and AC references here (and a bit from OG, depends whatever I remember)

Good to go? Allow me to rant. Read it slowly and if u skip some of it, u’ll probably mislead my actual words, and u’ll be triggered af. Don’t come at me with madness if u dont read the whole post properly

What is PFA and MFA? Generally speaking, if Basic First Aid is about covering the wound to prevent further bleeding, then PFA (Psychological First Aid) and MFA (Mental Health First Aid) is like applying a bandage on ur mental to avoid u continue being distress.

Usually, PFA is often associated with disaster event or terrorism, where large number of people got affected. Meanwhile, MFA focus in one person who is developing mental health prob or already in mental crisis due to certain traumas, such as vehicle accident, house burned and etc

Pls note that, certain people NEED MFA while the others may NOT NEED it. It is important to respect their needs/wants. Some victims may refuse verbally but they ACTUALLY NEED it (CLOUD STRIFE) and maybe some victims look like they dont need it, but they want it, and its super fine to give it

PFA/MFA not only done by the professionals and it is not a professional counselling, although necessarily training is needed if u want to approach deeper in this field. PFA/MFA is also not a psychological ‘debriefing’ - in which MFA/PFA doesnt need to involve a detailed discussion of the trauma event with the victim, but instead, it is an alternative way to psychological debriefing that helps for long-term recovery. (unless if ure a pscyhiatrist, then u have to forget about MFA and ask detailed questions regarding the events to help the patient to recover)

MFA and PFA both almost the same, but I will mention more about MFA here.

MFA (Mental Health First Aid) is not just about comforting “Oh, are u alright. I’m sorry for what u’ve been through”, but it is also about assessing their needs and concerns, protecting them from harm, provide practical support and support them feeling able to help themselves and others.

The main key for these two term is RESPECT - respect victim’s dignity, respect both parties safety and respect victim’s rights to make decision. Even without the PFA, we should respect these three in whatever circumstance we are in.

A lot of us honestly were born with natural skill of MFA bcause of our own empathy, instinct or experiences and some got trained professionally. Some of them already had MFA due to high common senses they have.

Some of the Do’s and Dont’s when giving MFA include;

Do’s : 1. Be trustworthy | 2. Respect their decision | 3. Be aware of and set aside ur bias | 4. Make it clear to them u are available for help even they push u away | 5. Respect their privacy and personal space | 6. Do remain calm and soft when the person in distress | 7. Listen and don’t interrupt their talking | 8. Help in terms of basic needs | 9. Create connection the person with others | 10. Give hope to them | 11. Provide private place to talk about the event | 12. Respect their strenght | 13. Advice small necessary matters or give simple words of encouragement | 14. Acknowledge positive features of what victims have done

To simplify, there are 3 ways for MFA to begin, and I will only talk about one of them, the one that is the hardest to do, that is when u notice someone looks distressed and ure concern about them, and leading u to approach them first without them noticing ur concern. [Am I putting the right words here?]

In Cloud’s case, who do u think the first noticed Cloud behaved oddly and went to help him first ? - yeah Tifa. U probably would say “OFC she went to help him, she met him first at the train station. That guy looked sick af, who wouldnt ask if he was alright. If Aerith/Yuffie/Jessie met him first, they would do the same”. Okay guys, that was not my point.

Let’s focus one by one characters and see what Do’s and Dont’s MFA (Mental Health First Aid) they’ve done to Cloud and other charas. Keep in mind, none of them know what Cloud had gone through, but Cloud had showed some obvious sign he was unwell and only a few of them noticed that and took action for it.

The symbol [X] means the Dont’s in MFA and ( ✔) means the Do’s in MFA.

Biggs Jessie Wedge -

I know there’s a thing about man helping man’s psychology and Jessie being flirty with a guy.They [X] thought Cloud was like how they saw Cloud. and they considered it as normal. They didnt see Cloud under distress so they dont have the need to concern his mental status. The good thing about them was, the three of them (✔) respect Cloud’s strenght, giving Cloud the confident to be in action. But, Jessie [X] had zero respect on Cloud’s personal space

I wanna highlight about Biggs. Biggs had an attitude of overthinking stuff, but it wasnt so bad that would cause him harm, he just cared too much about his friends. So I believe Biggs was the type that would notice immediately when his friend being strange and would give MFA (Mental Health First Aid) with his own instinct even without the person asking it.

During the Sector 7 Plate attack, where Biggs was severely injured, when Cloud said he was not a fan of kids and Biggs said Cloud had so much in common (in common of what? Cloud with the kids or Cloud with him?), Cloud gave him ‘a sad look’ and Biggs reached out his hand to Cloud’s head. Biggs (✔) remain calm and soft when dealing with Cloud’s feeling (who faced traumatic event but Biggs didnt know about it) on that moment despite his current physical status. And also he (✔) wished goodluck to Cloud, leading to prevention distress on Cloud

Marle -

Marle [X] judged Cloud for someone who had no skills, but she entrusted Cloud to take care of Tifa’s well being. Not knowing who Cloud was, Marle noticed Cloud looked glum, she (✔) offered her ear for Cloud to rant and knew right away he was not having enough sleep, then (✔) advising him to sleep more . Lol, she was [X] biased with Cloud and Tifa. Not her fault, she only knew Tifa’s story, not Cloud’s. After the Sector 7 plate fall, we saw her being the most active member to help with the remaining citizens there. Marle without a doubt had given the citizens there PFA (Psychological First Aid) , by helping them with their (✔) basic needs, (✔) create connections, (✔) put away bias, (✔) remain calm and soft.

Barret Wallace -

Barret was the same like Biggs Jessie Wedge. I’m sure Barret thought Cloud was just fine. Barret saw Cloud as a mercenary with stinky attitude,[X] judging him like that causing Barret to gave him the same attitude too. But overall, he (✔) respected Cloud’s strength a lot

However, after the Sector 7 plate fall, Tifa and Barret were the one that hurt (mentally) the most, Tifa as usual locking her emotions, there we could see how Barret comforting Tifa by (✔) giving words of encouragement and proceed on (✔) hugging her to show his empathy. Barret also (✔) remain calm and soft spoken when talking to the survival victims of Sector 7 citizens. He also (✔) acknowledged what the citizens had done to survive

Vincent Valentine -

Don’t be surprise Vincent was listed here. This guy here was like another version of Cloud but more mature. In addiction, they both kinda share the same pain. So, I personally think Vincent understands Cloud pretty well. In AC, where Cloud was mentally ill, Vincent saved Cloud from Kadaj and brothers and (✔) took him to safer place. That was a common thing to do. But let’s go deeper, Cloud never told him about himself, but Vincent already (✔) aware of Cloud’s trouble with the geostigma stuff and Cloud’s current mental status. Vincent, (✔) calm and soft like always (✔) didnt hesitate to asked if all of these were just about ‘fighting’ and it made Cloud to ‘re-think’ further about his problem. He (✔) didnt pressure Cloud here, instead he was (✔) helping Cloud to understand the condition he was facing, and this lead Cloud to avoid distress.

Aerith Gainsborough -

I know Aerith was special. She was an important character and devs created her to be ‘loved’ by the fans so that her death would be tragic. Aerith did almost all the things that shouldnt be done when giving MFA to mentally ill person. Some of u may say “Duh, Aerith didnt know anything about Cloud thus she had no intentions of giving him MFA”. Yup, ure right. Aerith didnt know about Cloud’s mental status but so as all the other characters in the series.

Aerith was [X] being pushy with Cloud, in lots of ways, from making him as a bodyguard for free to forcing him to wear a dress. She [X] forced Cloud to accept her idea about meeting Andrea, dance and gown. She also [X] forced Cloud to help picking the flowers. Aerith [X] didn’t let Cloud to have his own decision [X] neither giving him a chance to talk, and [X] abandon his feelings (cough..uhm, Aerith resolution). She also had [X] no respect on Cloud’s personal space and [X] too much touching and leaning to him. Aerith also [X] put herself in danger and that worried Cloud. She [X] looked down on Cloud in someways too

However, at the Sector 5 slum, where the hooded man appeared, Aerith noticed Cloud was having trouble with himself, she (✔) encouraged Cloud to keep himself together. Also, throughout the entire game, Aerith always remind the team to (✔) have hope in everything. Her positive vibrant attitude was what (✔) made everyone able to believe in themselves. She also (✔) ensure Marlene’s safety and protected her. She was able to (✔) remain soft and calm when approaching Marlene. Remember Betty? Aerith took her time to helped her out and she even (✔) respected the little girl’s strength, (✔)slow and steady when saving her and (✔)soft spoken

Tifa Lockhart -

Tifa met Cloud at the train station, saw him being ‘not-so-fine’ state despite Cloud claiming he was completely okay. Tifa didn’t know what Cloud had gone through and she (✔) didn’t pressure him to talk about it. She even helped him to (✔) find a place to sleep even when Cloud never asked for it. Tifa unconsciously was the first person to give Cloud MFA without knowing what Cloud had faced previously. And Cloud, on that moment, he really needed a help. Tifa also (✔) stated that if Cloud need anything, she would help him with it

Tifa (✔) remain calm everytime Cloud had sudden headache, she didn’t leave him alone and (✔) didnt put any pressure on him by asking question. During the (✔) Alone At Last, they had privacy Tifa asked about what happened after he left Nibelheim. She (✔) listened and didnt interrupt him, (✔) neither pushing him to talk more. Moreover, Tifa (✔) put a distance with Cloud, dunno if she was the one who was being uncomfortable or she actually (✔) respect Cloud’s personal space and privacy. Tifa (✔) didn’t force him to stay at Midgar, she asked him and was glad Cloud would stay for a while. Tifa was no doubt (✔) respect all Cloud’s decisions too. Also, don’t forget, Tifa also helped Cloud to help (✔) make ‘close connection’ with the Avalanche members and people in Sector 7 slums. She also (✔) didn’t do much touching with Cloud (Well, I mean, she didnt touch him in clingy way)

In AC, Tifa (✔) encouraged Cloud to have hope for Geostigma and the family

Tifa did [X] put herself in danger by becoming Corneos bride participant and that gave Cloud trouble (but Tifa ensured him she would be fine on her own previously) And btw, in OG, I read about the fans questioning why Tifa [X] didnt tell Cloud the truth. I would like to argue this matter. TIFA IS A CHARACTER WITH REAL HUMAN FLAWS, she too had her own traumatic event and was not really sure of herself on what to do. However, considering what Tifa had done for him, Tifa had helped with Cloud’s psychology the most.

I know Cloud was putting up a font, and that made him to have condescending attitude, and people couldnt see what Cloud was hiding behind the the bravery face. However, all of us as fans acknowledged the pain Cloud was suffering in the entire FF7 story. Some of the characters like Tifa, Marle, Vincent, Biggs noticed it and they took actions for it, while others, I do personally thing, they were hurting the Real Cloud’s mentality more.

Long story short, Tifa was the one who gave mental health support the most to Cloud, followed by Vincent (AC), Biggs and Marle. Aerith did the worst with Real Cloud's mentality + she then died, mking Cloud be more miserable,

However, Aerith actually had the best way to give MFA/PFA to children, but maybe the worst to Cloud. While Tifa gave the best MFA to Cloud which helped him to get himself together through out the entire time

Alright thats the end of my talk. Thank you for being with meee

#final fantasy 7 #final fantasy vii #cloud strife #character analysis #final fantasy theory #advent children

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xllxxrbxg · 3 years ago

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so ayon nga hehe

so ayon nga mga marecakes hehe narrate ko na lang nangyari today.

so i was like chilling today right im all set for school because i did my homeworks naman days before it was needed so i was like, "aight lets get this shit today". tapos karlo message me he wanted cuddles eh i was like hMMM... we just made out the other day eh and its like tuesday palang today !! i told him nalang na make it happen, not rlly thinking he would make it happen. but this mf took it as a challenge and actually made it happen.

before all that tho i was badtrip because ha made a very uncalled for rape joke and it fucked me up in the head, plus the fact na im being taken to someplace unfamiliar. i was very tensed the whole ride there. anw he didnt get the hint na it was THAT awful to me, but its aight we resolvedt it already. i'll keep a tab on this tho. for me that was a red flag.

anyways we made out in this tambayan place their family owns. basically it has a large parking lot and across that space was this little studio type housie house. the place had a large ass gate, wasnt really paying attention to what he was saying about the place because i was still tensed with the bad joke he made. anyways we went in and it was a very nice place. outside the house, it wasnt that obvious, but when you go in, it legit looked like one of those sala sets in malls with the note "thank you for not sitting" typa shit. so yeah it was nice it had same vibes with vista mall maybe because of the ceiling yellow scattered lights and of the fresh ass furniture and the whole place itself. it was a pretty decent size, not too big not too small for at least two people to share in the long run. it also had this aircon i always wanted the expensive ones u see in 5 stars. anyways it was quickly cold. there was also the bathroom that had a shower, then theres this chair where you pull a button and a foot rest will pop up lmfao. there were also two other sofa charis by the window. the window was the type then you push back up, not much windows tbh. but thats aight and reasonable since it has an aircon. i was tensed at first when the room was opened. it was obviously recently used idk maybe by his relative. WAS TENSED BRO same feeling when you enter an empty room newly unlocked by your teacher. THAT. that typa anxiety. anyways eventually joined him to sit by the small bed. was pretty much good for one big ass person to comfortably lie on, but fitted both of us nicely. didn't really bottom at that sesh so i don't really remember if the bed was uratex when weight is applied on me but it probably is AHSHDHASHDHSAHDSAHAH ok mej funny yun goiz liek- HAHA ok serious na nga hmpz. we cuddled first before doing nasty stuff. it was nice. i'd exchange all those laplapan just to wholesomely cuddle in peace and probably have a great nap together. i like the feeling the warm feeling. it was nice. yes. anyways,, yeah it was nice. cant stop talking about how nice it was because it was nice. heck... it was so nice. it was so heart heart. idc about my coochie getting rubbed, CUDDLE ME BITCH. anyways we started kissing and the rest is historyYYYYYY. jk. basically the make out routine starts with cuddling then kissing then he touches me until it reacher the forbidden softie softie, main bec he likes hearing my sexy ass moan. even before in tinder when i vm my boytoys for the first time the first thing they say my voice is smexy. cant blame them i agree. even when im alone and i randomly fake moan gat dam bro i get turned on too LMFAO. so yeah i moaned bec it was music to his ears and turned him on big time. was ngl kinda steamy when we breathe in each others mouth thats one of my favorite parts of it and also when i suck on his tongue. or also when i moan into his mouth. yep. also when he cusses it means im doing a great job. hehe. nice stuff ryt there. we pause sometimes to rest, then go aead again. i got many rounds that day. we did same stuff on the bed several times. then he pulled me so i'd be on top. im such a great top bro he aint know hoe to topppp. then was cuddling on top of him and then accidentally (wink wink) grinded on his rock solid stuff. he was turned on sabi nya shit anuyon sabi ka ah ayaw mo ok BUT THEN he was like gusto ko. tnagina pabebe yarn. anw i started kissing then grinding and he was cussing bec im so good at it. later my pants were off and later his shorts too. so we were underwear-away from grinding on directly. was nice got me tiredt. THEN HAHAH i saw this 5 peso coin by the bed and i was like eto yung token sa rides AHSDHASHDASHDHA WOF YAN TEH? tangina tawang tawa sya gago ang funny ko tlg san ka makakakuha ng kallapan na funny. tas nilagay ko sa gilid nya singko started grinding again. bet u he was grinding too. AND IT WAS SO HARD IT LOWKEY HURT TO GRIND ON. GEEZAS. so basically the whole bed was shaking. and i did my deed as a good girl to keep the music on (aka moaning) because there was no music. felt like

asmr. boring af. unlike when we make out sa car, theres always music. i like making out on the white chev instead of the fortuner BECAUSE THE FORTUNERS WINDOWS AIN TINTED what in the world was i thinking making out inside an untinted car INSIDE A PARK WHERE THERE ARE LOTSA PPL PASSING BY. anyways back to the bed, we paused, cuddled. then i was badtrip again for some reason so i got up to get dressed but we eventually made out again on the sofa hehe. legs spread again bec he liked touching there so i let him. then eventually was begging me to allow him to eat me out but i was like BROOOO NOOOO you gon taste it and it be not groomed yet in anyway but he was alr there begging looool he looked so adorbs but NOOO. i asked wala ka man benefit jan, sabi nya ikaw meron. tas sabi ko why do u wanna do it, he said he wasnted to satify me liek HNGGGGGG ok i would let you but it really not be groomed oakay NEXT TIME for sure. AND HECK the lights were on. it was daylight and the lights were on like hasdhahsdhashdas it feels liek im being eaten out at the home decor station at vista mall U GUYZ. anyways ayon. after non i think he tried carrying me for some reason. and i knew he found me heavy lols. but yeah i was a cute little moment he carried me around the room pretending its a mall and he's touring me and shit, "to your left, is the sala set, to your right is the flat screen tv..." things like that HAHAHA funny cute moment. anw later on we found ourselves sitting on the little bed again i was on top of him. he didnt want to lay down bec he alrady made the bed lol so we started grinding again sitting, me on top doing my best !! giving my all !! bec he also had a finger down there as i grinded on his stuff so it basically felt like a direct grind lols. anyways was nice. then later on we made out standing up. was kinda hard because he was 7 inches taller. OH AKALA NYO TITE SIZE YUNG 7 INCHES NOH. hinde. so ayon we were making out and he was shy to ask for a deep throat HAHSDHAHDHAS HECK NAW BITCH U TOLD ME A RAPE JOKE. so this is the part where i get revenge. he was standing there, and i was teasing him. was acting clueless, but he hinted he wanted his belt off so i took it off. was honestly confused with the belt. lol. anw i got to remove it and said, so ano next? playfully hhehhehehe. anyways ayon nga eventually me teased him everrr soooo slowly his dick went from solid-jelly-solid-jelly. LMFAO omfg will i cause him illness? omg. anwwww ayon. later on i removed his shorts as he asked. then i stepped aaway from him across the room because he was doing the shy type hands while hsis shorts was by his foot. and i LOL'd at him for a good few minutes just clapping my hands out of entertainment HAHSDHAHSDAS. then he asked me to put my hands inside, did it slowly and i told him to smile ka nga muna. AND HA THE MF WAS SHAKING. LOL. my fucking powerrrrrrr. anyways later on i was teasing out the underwear, then later i got my hands in again and then touchedt the dick *YAY* finally we got there!! anw it was only for a few secs and i told him its over HAHAHA. then i put his shorts back up again, but subtly teasing that i would suck. bec the shorts were by his ankles so i had to kneel. did i suck? no. did i make sure he thought i was? YES BITCH. and then he lay down fretting because i didnt suck his dick and then while was laying down i opened his shorts again to pretend that his dick was a computer mouse and told him "lets play solitaire, o kaya counterstrike or maybe purble place. gawa ng cake hehe" lmfao mfer be cry laughing because he dont know what to do bec he was teased. so ayon we ended that way and i thought he was bad trip bec of what i did. but he assured me na di naman like dapat lang duh. anyways ayon hehe.

uwi na kami after nakauwi ako 1. andon kami 10. hehe. hinatid nya man me pauwi. tho yung byahe pauwi di pa kami nakakalayo sa place he pulled over so i was confused bec there were no big vehicles incoming but to my surpris he started kissimg me again lol bro deins ka ba nasasawa. anw yon. was nice naman. making out with a guy from a rich fam is nice bec yall dont need to pay to rent in motels lol but still has pressure, bec if we end on a bad note, i swear most of the blgs here are engineered by his relatives. thats how prominent they are. the place we went to is owned by his uncle, who works at legazpi rn thats why the place was vacant. theyre making a mall i think idk. so thats why his uncle is making another like that na place dun. so he has somewhere to stay. like what in the wealth... its crazy how people have money. and for sure even if the place we stayed in was small, it costs millions fr. anyways ayun yung promised detailed chika ko. hehe ciao. mej pokpok nga me pero look at me suffering the consequences, may sipon na ako aside sa ubo because he had mild sipon. now my sipon is malala compared to his, and he alr is recoveredt tangina unfair. but yesterday he insisted to see me to drop off some meds and he hugeed me and cried. because i asked for a time out the night before. bec i was having a hard time. he allowed it but over thinkedt it so yeah he cried while hugging me tight in the car. and kept on saying sorry mainly bec of the sipon thing. but it was, i felt, directed to the other stuff he had disappointed me with. anyways before that sabi nya ok lang ba sayo mag punta munang emall may bibilhin lang, sabi ko naur im sick. it was bec he wanted to buy me gummy worms lol. cute. u shoulda bought them before going to me, mofo. jk. loveee u penggg.

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avellanasmentalhealth · 4 years ago

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Despair - emotions journal (I guess)

it doesnt matter what i do. I feel so much despair. every time i try and talk abut my worries, anxiety, or struggles with my family they always end up dismissing and invalidating them. my mother has no clue why everyone is so distraught over not having a spring break this term - my dad and brother tried to comfort me (while having an anxiety attack from watching 20 minutes of a movie that was mainly people dangerously chopping wood) saying things like theres no way they would actually show a limb being chopped off - but that wasnt the issue. weekends are not enough of a break - especially when you spend every waking moment either doing school work, sleeping, or rewatching the same fucking 12 episodes because its the only thing that gives you more spoons to do your schoolwork!

i have enough pressure already from dad saying i need to take a full 12 credits next term no matter what and moms sure to flip out if i have any grade less than an 80%. theres only a few more weeks left of the term, but i know itll only get worse. i wont have the excuse of schoolwork to stay in my room all day, so moms going to make me do a bunch of shitty stuff with her, and dad expects me to hold a fake smile though it all - he expects me to hold that smile for another 5 years (until i can afford to move out essentially) because he doesnt wanna deal with the problem that is his fucking wife. i told him about my trauma, and all he’s done is tell me to fake it till i make it. its better for him that way. its better for him if i take a full 12 credits next term. its better for him if i have at least a part time job . its better for him if he doesnt have to deal with my issues. but those issues are gonna pile up way too high one of these days.

im considering it. i really am. what if i slowly just stopped eating and passed out one day? would they notice then? would they care? would they finally realize how bad things have been for me lately? would they finally do something useful about it? do i really have to pass out or end up in the hospital for them to realize? or my therapist telling them im slowly becoming suicidal?

Im really tired. i dont wanna do this anymore. how much more until i have my first real suicidal thought? how much more until my i dont want to live anymore turns into a plan or a thought of making that real? I know the one thing that would help fix me up the fastest is moving out, but i cant. they’re paying for 60,000$ of my college, they’re paying for my gas, they arent charging me for rent or food, im using their car. id be completely fucked over if i moved out even a month from now. how much more can i take?

it feels like nothing i do matters anyways. i feel so empty. so void. knowing i have good friends i want to build my life with, but cant. Cant move out. cant fix mom. cant do or be what they want me to. I’m stuck

I’m alone in my own house

#avellanahablando #emotions journal #trigger warning #suicide #food mention #anxiety #been a long time since i posted on this blog #not even sure this counts as an emotion journal entry #but tis all ive got so #here i guess #sorry for bothering you #or whoever reads this

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dirt-cup-draco · 5 years ago

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Edmund Pevensie x Reader- I don’t love him like I love you

Warnings: Cheating, vague mentions of sex but nothing terribly explicit

You tossed and turned in your large bed as the moon arched across the sky and cast shapes through your sheer drapes. Your husband, the high king Peter lay on his side, fast asleep. You know he had had a long day meeting with several foreign aristocrats for one reason or another and he put tremendous amounts of pressures on his shoulders. Not like he would share any of that with you. You loved Peter, truly you did, he was kind and a good husband but he didn’t view you as his wife. He didn’t confide in you and therefore you felt you couldn’t confide in him.

How were the two of you supposed to be happy if you couldn’t communicate your true feelings? He had always been so good to you and you nearly felt guilty for how you had betrayed him. You hadn’t meant to fall for another, let alone his own brother. It had simply happened. You’d been living in the castle with the Pevensie’s since you had married Peter to keep peace between your two nations. You knew each and everyone of them and had a place in your heart for all of the siblings. Yet there was one sibling who had definitely been taking up a bigger part of your heart as of late.

Edmund had always kept to himself at least that is what you had assumed when you had met him years before. Your impending marriage to Peter had been frightening to you in the beginning. You had never traveled outside of your own country before and now you were expected to be the wife of a stranger and live in a completely foreign land and be completely calm and happy about it. It was a lot of pressure and you were not equipped to handle it as gracefully as expected. When you found yourself with time to yourself you wandered trying to put your racing mind at ease by moving your legs. You had come across the library on your third day of your father and Peter speaking of relations and how you could be given to Peter as a peace offering. Though they’d never call it that. You were just an olive branch and you were well aware of it.

That had been very upsetting. You’d dreamed of love and a happy marriage and kingdom but as you grew you came to realize that that was not the case. Your own parents had not married for love, and neither would you. So as you got to the library you were happy to hide between the shelves for long periods of time trying to forget that you were probably being used as a bargaining chip at that very moment.

You had been caught up in a book when you realized there was someone standing at the end of the isle you were in. For a moment you feared it was Peter but as you looked up you realized it was the Just King Edmund Pevensie. You had formally met only once before but you found yourself relaxed. There was something about the gentle curve of his lips that implied some sort of permanent feeling of amusement and the depth of his eyes that proved to you he was mature beyond his years.

“I come here to escape my brother too,” He’d said and you had immediately found yourself blushing and hanging your head low in shame.

“I meant no harm your majesty, I am not escaping your brother, I just found I needed a break. He is a very good man and I am lucky to be marrying him,” You found yourself robotically apologizing.

Edmund rolled his eyes and with little grace had plopped down next to you. Even sitting he was a fair amount taller than you. He wasn’t as broad as peter and his complexion was more fair you noted as you stared at the sharp cut of his jaw, unable to meet his eyes now that he was sitting so close. He smelled like pine.

“Edmund is just fine. Honestly, I hate the ‘your majesty’ stuff.” You nodded and turned your eyes back to the book in your hands. You wondered how long he was going to sit there as the silence dragged on.

“May I ask what your real feelings are on the subject of being betrothed to Peter? I might be overstepping my boundaries, but you’ll be my sister in law soon. Guess I should get used to being familiar with you,” He finally added.

You closed the book and thought for a moment. You shrugged. “I know that he is a good man and king and I know that he will treat me well. Yet I don’t feel any love towards him. I know we will grow to be friends but I doubt that it could ever be more than that,” You admitted softly, surprised you had let down your guard so quickly.

After that day you and Edmund had made frequent visits to the library to chat. Sometimes when you couldn’t sleep you went and hoped hed be there. You’d come to realize more often than not he would be there as he was plagued by night terrors. He encouraged you to tell him your true feelings and in return he shared with you his fears and struggles and feelings. By the time the wedding approached you had become best friends with Edmund.

Even after the wedding had passed you two often met up. Not as often as before of course, as a new queen you had certain duties you needed to attend to. And there was the obligatory time you needed to spend with your Husband. You really couldn’t complain too much. He never pushed you to be intimate nor did he force you to say you loved him. You two had respect for one another and a mutual understanding that this wasn’t an ideal marriage. Peter was good to you but your heart wasnt his. Sometimes the two of you were pent up and had needs and you got physical yet it didn’t mean anything. It was just a release that left you feeling hollow.

And you spoke to Edmund about this. He seemed to get tense however and you noticed his eyes would linger on the bruise that had been sucked onto your neck the night before more than was necessary and he seemed grumpier. You assumed it was because he thought you morally loose or easy somehow for giving into such desires when you were not in love. It hurt a little bit but he would never judge you aloud.

When he had nightmares you were the first person he wanted to see, and probably the only person. He would knock once on your door as he got up to go the library and you would wait until Peter’s breathing evened out again before following after him. Your husband slept like the dead and you were very grateful for it. When Edmund had nightmares his shoulders sagged more than usual and his spark was fizzled out. His lips were downcast and his eyes were rimmed red with dark bags underneath. His hands shook so you often held them and he sighed in relief at your touch.

As years passed the more you two touched one another. You would lay with your head in his lap as his fingers carded through your hair and you would vent to him the frustrations of the week. Meanwhile when he needed comfort you would let him lay between your legs, his head on your chest, his ear pressed over your heart. You two found immense comfort in one another and you become aware of it one night as you woke up from a dream that had you pressing your thighs together to try and ease the ache.

Noticing how you shifted, Peter had rolled over and pressed his lips to your neck, groping your breast. You were filled with dread as he’d lazily thrusted into you and panted low praises your ear, for you could only think of Edmund doing the same. From then on you had seen Edmund in the light that had been steadily getting brighter. In a cruel twist of fate your heart had chosen him.

Tonight was no different than the others. You couldn’t sleep. So you finally rolled out of bed, making sure Peter was still covered by the silky sheets. He often woke up, fulfilled his needs and yours, and then fell back into a deeper sleep until the morning. You dressed into a nightgown and then quietly left the room and let your legs carry you on autopilot to the library. You had much to think about and so you were glad to see that Edmund hadn’t arrived yet.

You were aware you loved him. And you hoped that he had similar feelings for you but you were not as sure as you wanted to be. What if you were just someone to talk to because he felt he couldn’t speak to his siblings lest he be judged? What if he truly viewed you as a sister? That might make you sick. But it’d be worse if you admitted your feelings and he hated you for loving him.

You couldn’t help it. He’d been your shoulder to cry on, and you’d been his. He made you laugh and smile and you felt so very free with him. You could get lost in his eyes for an eternity and nothing sounded more pleasant than tracing the constellation of freckles across his nose and cheeks. You wanted to run your fingers through his dark waves of hair and be held in his arms during the night. You wanted to hold him too and make him feel safe and make him feel invincible like he did for you. Edmund was your dream.

When he did arrive to the library, he found you sobbing with your hands hiding your face as your shoulders shook and you tried your best to breathe. Immediately he had fallen to his knees before you, his strong hands gently encircling around your wrists to pull your hands away. He hated when you hid from him. He wanted to look you in the eyes when he comforted you because he wanted to know that you truly were feeling better. It made his heart ache when he knew you were struggling.

His brother was a lucky son of a bitch and he was envious. Yet at the same time, Edmund knew for certain that you wouldn’t cry freely in front of Peter. You wouldn’t tell him your fears and hopes and worries and dreams. You wouldn’t stay up late with him speaking of your feelings and listening to his. Edmund knew that his brother had certain privileges with you however like being able to freely walk hand in hand with you all over the castle, even if he wouldn’t. He could touch you and wrap his arms around his waist as he slept and Peter could do all this yet he knew he only did when he wanted to get off. It was evident in the darkening love bites on your neck and collarbones.

Trust him, Edmund was plenty envious of that too. You were gorgeous and intelligent and everything he could ever dream of. You let him be himself and you comforted him. He was no traitor in your eyes. He was a strong, just king who had been to hell and back and still stood tall. Edmund felt like he could take on the world if you were only by his side.

So to see you so heartbroken over something, with your hands hiding your tears and your shoulders curved to make yourself smaller as you sobbed crushed him. As he pulled his hands away from your face and studied you he asked, “Did he do something?” He wasn’t sure what he was accusing his brother of, he knew the man would never hurt you intentionally or be cruel to you, yet he just had to ask.

You shook your head and sniffled, pulling him up to you so you could hug him. “Of course not Ed, I just realized that I can never have what I truly want in this life and it is weighing heavily on my mind, that is all,”

“And what might that be, little bird?” He spoke softly, your nickname rolling easily off of his tongue. He ran a hand from the top of your head to the end of your hair comfortingly. Edmund reveled in how soft your hair was. Your lips twitched up for a second and he felt good about it. He wasn’t liberal with his affections but with you it was different. He found that he wanted you near as often as possible and that he wanted to make you smile any way possible. He wanted to shower you in praises and affections and love. Because Edmund loved his brother’s wife. What kind of world was this? It should have upset him, he should feel guilt for loving a taken woman but he couldn’t. You were radiant and perfect and his heart belonged to you.

“Love is a distant dream and has been since I married, I love another but you know that it is impossible for me to be with them,” Your dewy eyelashes fluttered over your eyes as you pulled away from your long embrace to look him in the eyes.

Edmund was surprised at your easy admittance of this. His lips tugged down in a frown. “Who?” It wasn’t very smooth but dear god he was oblivious and he needed to know who you had fallen for. If it wasn’t him he wasn’t sure what he would do with himself. It was bad enough that you were Peter’s. If you were another’s as well it might kill him.

“I think you know Ed, I think both of us know,” You swallowed hard and your arms fell away from him. You were preparing yourself for rejection. Fear had taken a hold of you as you hinted at the younger brother who had owned your heart for some time. He started finally realizing what you meant as you held your gaze.

You rolled your eyes but you felt a smile tug at your mouth. You would’ve felt worried but even in the dark library you saw tinges of pink taking over the tips of his ears and the apples of his cheeks. Feeling emboldened you let a hand rest against where his shoulder and neck joined, your thumb stroking at the soft skin. His breath hitched.

Edmund stepped closer, your chest now pressed to his.You angled your face towards his. Your tears had dried and now you held some sort of hope in the depths of your eyes.

“You could be with them if you wanted, you and him could find a way,” He spoke shakily, his eyes still searching yours as his hand came to rest on your waist as the other came to tangle in your loose hair.

You had no response. There was too much on the line but you could only think of your proximity to the beautiful man you had come to know over the past couple years. Instead, you rose to the tips of your toes and pressed your lips against his. Immediately he tightened his arm around your waist and chased your retreating lips with his own. It made you feel desired and you knew now that he had you he wouldn’t let you go.

As he moved in tandem with you, his tongue experimenting with yours and his arm holding you to him you had the thought that Peter had never kissed you like this. Like you were something to be cherished and held on to. Like you were irreplaceable and wonderful.

A long time passed with you two pressed together in the quiet of the library. Yet breathing was a necessity and you two parted. You bumped your nose against his and he smiled, swiftly kissing your cheek.

“Does this mean Peter isn’t the one you love?” Edmund asked cheekily, a gleam in his eye that warmed you up.

“You know I don’t love him like I love you,” You said simply, bringing your lips to his once again, feeling more whole than you ever had before.

#narnia #edmund pevensie #edmund pevensie x reader #peter x reader sort of?#peter pevensie #edmund is my boi i love him #completely self indulgent #it's been a rough couple weeks guys

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concentrateandpush · 5 years ago

Text

Abandoned building

"I know some of you may think it's crazy going to an abandoned building to film a YouTube video whilst 37 weeks pregnant.. but I cant let my 2.3 mil subscribers down! Plus it should be super safe! I mean, theres an open door right where we park, so not long to walk and straight in! No climbing!" Said Kat to her viewers whilst sat in the back of Poppy's car. There were 6 people in total, Kat and Joe, the mommy and daddy to be, Poppy, Kats best friend. Then Corey, Daniel and Dave, the guys who Kat wanted to collab with, they knew each other from elementary but hadn't been close for a long time, Joe and Poppy didnt know them at all.

She had noticed that morning that she wasnt feeling great and it seems that the morning sickness had come back, but she agreed to do this video so she persisted and hey! She had her boyfriend with her after all. Kat and Joe had been together a long time and it was about time they should have a baby, Joe was thrilled, Kat was too but she still felt she could take on the world whilst carrying a human.

They agreed that Poppy would drive seeing as Kat was 37 weeks pregnant and felt uncomfortable driving now. They arrived at the abandoned building as it was going dark, Joe wasnt at all phased by spirits but the rest were hyped and ready to go.

'Hey man, I'm Daniel"

"Joe, nice to meet you"

Joe could instantly tell Daniel was a jerk. At this point in time, whilst everyone was setting up cameras, Poppy chatted to Kat whilst having a smoke.

Kat made sure that nobody was around and quickly said to Poppy "Pops, dont tell Joe, I've been having twinges all morning, I'm super nauseous and I think theres a pattern in the pain, I dont want to tell him because he already cant believe I've come here 9 months pregnant"

Poppy exclaimed "Yeah I'm not surprised, look, videos can wait, let's go back to your apartment and order uber eats, I dont think its wise to stay here" and quickly, Kat snapped "I wont be able to come back here for a long time and I need to film this video, were like 3 hours from home now anyway so let's just film".

It's been a few hours and they had filmed the majority of the scheduled videos. Kat is exhausted at this point and hasn't suffered in pain too much, but she has noticed her belly getting heavier and harder through out filming. They get ready to call it a night and hear a noise from outside, young people, they sound rough and ready to fight.

Daniel whispers "Boys we have to run out, Joe, you up for running out? Girls?"

"I cant run" Kat exclaims, but Joe cuts across her quickly "You expect my 9 month pregnant girlfriend to run out of here, she could trip on anything for starters and -"

Kat starts to feel a lot of pressure and breathes it through but it doesnt go unnoticed, Poppy feels that she has to disclose information "Joe she has felt twinges all day and didnt want to tell you because -"

"Who's in here then? Who's up for a fight?!" Sounds from the outside.

"Okay, everyone shut the fuck up, Daniel phone the police, Joe, an ambulance, nobody argue with me, I need to get out of here" whispers Kat "I've kept this tiny person safe for 9 months, I am not messing it up now, I will not put myself and my child at risk of those kids outside, were in a bad area and they might have weapons so we -"

Joe interrupts "Love, we didnt bring phones, it interferes with the tech"

Kat looks at Joe tearfully and says "Okay well it'll have to happen in here then, I'm in so much pain, I need something to sit on, a jumper or?.."

At this point, Poppy has had enough "Right you three get out there, you do not tell them were in here, it was your idea not to bring phones in and now look where you got us"

Daniel slams back "Mate, your friend wanted to be here even though she cant even walk shes so pregnant, Joe you should never have left her come, you're both going to be parents and cant even- "

"Ahhh, hee hoo hee hoo, please shut up I need to focus, please just shut up" said Kat, "I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry, okay can I check you? I just need to check how far along you are" said Joe whilst signaling to Poppy that she should come over and help. Joe pulls Kats maternity jeans off and then her panties, the three other boys are stood watching, "never seen a vagina before you pervs?" Shouted Poppy. Kat moans as Joe puts his fingers in, "You're nearly there Kat, you're going to have to push her out in here" he says panicking "I cant" says Kat, "it's dirty and ngghh"

Corey whispers to Daniel "Nah mate, we have to tell her" Joe hears and shouts "Tell her what?!" Daniel laughs and mutters "it's a prank pal, theres nobody outside, it's just the rest of the boys, you need to get her out of here". Joe springs up off the floor and runs towards Daniel "You f*cking what? I'm going to break that pretty face of-"

"I need to push, please, help me" Kat cries, Joe is torn, after a second thought he falls to his knee and pulls Kats legs open and says, "Okay whenever you feel it's right, push as hard as you can" Kat takes a huge breath and presses her chin down on her chest to push and Poppy says "Stop, let's get her to my car, I have blankets and stuff, we can help her birth there, its safer". Huffing and puffing through out, Kat screaches "I cant walk, I can feel the head I need to push her out now, I have to push, I cant hold it anymore".

"Come on, let's get up, get to the car and get this baby out safely" Joe orders, Kat always listens to Joe because he always does what's best. Kat finds the strength to get on her toes, with Joe's hand and Poppy supporting her lower back, once on her feet she stops and takes a moment "hee hoo hee, AHH I cant, I need to push, urrrrggggg", Joe gets on his knees and kisses her bump, "we can get to the car".

Poppy runs ahead, "you can do this Kat you're the strongest person I know" she exits quickly to puff and prod some blankets so that Kat can bare down on them. Whilst Kat waddles out with Joe's support under her elbows "Not long now Mommy, she'll be here".

Kat gets in the car and quickly tries to find a position to push in, but becomes frustrated because she cant find the power to push "I need to squat" she begins pushing harder and harder until she feels powerless.

Kat becomes tired in this position quickly, "I need to get on my back, theres not enough room, Joe can you get in the, hee hoo hee hoo, ahhh, get in the front and I'll put one leg either side of the front seats, that way my legs will be spread as far as they can be, and ill be open for baby to come out". Joe quickly gets up "let me help you into position" but Poppy realises she needs to help her best friend "Joe you get in the front I will help Kat get comfortable".

Kat huffs and puffs through the moving, she is so ready for the baby to be out by now, then it hits her. "I need to push harder, I need her out now, can you guide her Joe, Pops, hold this leg back as far as you can, nghggg ahhh, hoo hooo". At this point the other boys have all left and its pitch black, the only lights are the car lights and phone torches.

Kat is sweating so much that her face is shining. She starts to panic because she feels exhausted and like she's been pushing too long "get me to a hospital Pop, this isnt right". Poppy answers with a smile "You're fine, you're doing great, you're so so strong. We can see the head now, shes beautiful, she has your colour hair, just keep doing what you're doing mama". Kat soon starts to feel the ring of fire and starts to close her legs "it burns, I cant take it I'm going to rip, I'm going to open, is there blood? I cant, ahhh hoo hoo hoo nghhhh".

Kats progress is phenomenal and Joe is crying because of his girlfriends strength, "you're doing so good, I'm so proud of you, not much left now, just get the head out completely and then it's nearly over and we have a daughter".

I need to move positions" Kat snaps, "Shes coming" Kat suddenly staggers onto hands and knees, this is when she gets really strong, she starts to push with all of her might. "Its stuck, I cant move it, put your fingers in and rub them around the head, she needs to come out I cant push anymore it hurts". "Ooohhh this is it, I'm going to rip, fu*k, AAAHH".

Joe encourages Kat all the can "Come on honey a few more pushes, you're going great, you're doing it come on, push! Harder! Come on Kat push like you've never pushed before, yes, yes, come on sweetheart, push harder.. HARDER".

Kat is barely catching a breath and is baring down to hard she feels like shes going to rip. "Try little pushes, like ngh ngh ngh ngh rather than nghhhhh" says Poppy "It might change things and speed up the progress". "I'm not strong enough I cant go any longer, please call an ambulance, I need help, they can cut me and ahhhhhh, f*ck I think shes coming down, nghhhh, hooo hooo hooo AAHHHH can you see her? JOE CAN YOU SEE THE SHOULDERS, AHHHHHHHHH" she takes a breath and pushes until shes red in the face "hnnnnnngggggg here she is, it's time! I'm ready. To. Pusshhhhhhh. Oh my god, fu.. AHHHHH" . "Shes here beautiful, you're a Mommy. You're amazing, you're so perfect, I love you so much" Joe cries.

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scattered-imagination · 5 years ago

Note

:O!! I would love to hear a more detailed plot bunny about Hizashi sharing about the Bug Incident!! Shouta being protective of Hizashi (who has such a heavy "loud, goofy and happy" air to him that my brain says: this is a person that's probably got issues that they don't speak of easily) is such good stuff. And that deeply caring side of Shouta showing up is always fantastic~

;-) anything for a dedicated Listener! <3

Age-Swap BNHA AU (Erasermic)

It took an hour and a half for Hizashi to tell Shouta everything, between the memories and the mental breaks shouts made him take when it looked like the blonde would collapse. From the 10 foster homes he had gone through, to the Bug incident at his third home. He had to resist the urge to throw up at the memory. The drunken laughter filling his head...the feeling of rough hands locking his head in place, a man's fingers prying his jaw open and shoving bug after bug into his mouth. He flinched at the memory, remembering how he cried and threw up right there on the dirty kitchen floor... his sobs the only thing sounding in the now silent kitchen.

"Zashi!"

His eyes snapped opened, the kitchen disappearing and his best friend filling his vision instead. He felt tears build up in his throat, choking down a sob.

"Sorry sorry... I'm done ... see..." he tried to sound happy "silly fear...happened like...8 years ago...I just..."

"Shut up" and then he was engulfed in the arms of the other. "Dont say sorry... dammit Zashi..." Shouta choked, full of rage, helplessness, and...something the blonde couldnt pinpoint.

Hizashi just nodded, tears falling down his cheeks as he snuggled deeper into the others embrace. Shouta cuddles were hard to come by...and he was going to take advantage of this event.

While the other tried to sob in silence, Shouta held the other tight, eyes burning fiercely as he glared at the wall. What the fuck? What kind of adult would do that to a child? What kind of person would do that to Hizashi? His friend who was loud, friendly, smiling, always trying to help others, and always ready to do his best. He felt his teeth creak as he grit them...he mindlessly wondered if they might break under any more pressure.

He buried his nose into Zashi's hair, closing his eyes and breathing in the scent of coconut shampoo the blonde always used. He had to stay calm, he could beat the shit out of a training dummy later. His friend needed him.

At the back of his mind, he reminded himself to tell his dad and pops about this later. That way they could fumigate the dorms, kill every bug in sight, and maybe avoid certain training simulations... Shoutas eyes clenched shut harder. No wonder the blonde hated forest training... such a high potential for bugs crawling around.

"Shou...I love cuddles but you're squishing me!" The other chuckled, sounding more like himself now, a wide grin now on his lips but wetness still clouded his eyes.

Shouta grunted in acknowledgement and loosened his grip, though not completely letting the other go. Hizashi chuckled.

"...I'm sorry for sobbing on you" the blonde said softly, sobering the mood once more

"Its fine..." he debated furthering his thoughts "Why didnt you tell me this sooner?" He said bluntly

Hizashi just gave a one shoulder shrug

"...I dunno... guess I'm just used to dealing with that stuff on my own. I'm mr. Happy go lucky you know!" He laughed, pushing his fingers into his face to make himself smile "I'm not supposed to have stupid little fears like bugs..."

If shouta could punch that foster father now...he would be sure to throw him into a building

"Idiot" he scoffed softly "a phobia isnt a stupid fear. It's something you cant control"

"But a pro hero afraid of bugs? That's so-"

"Normal" shouta cut him off before the blonde could get anymore self deprecating "everyone has a fear that they cant explain and that is normal"

They sat in silence for a while, until Hizashi gave a nod - though he still wasnt fully convinced. Shouta slowly let go of his friend, holding him by the shoulders so they stared into each others eyes.

"No more secrets okay?" The brunette huffed

"Shou-"

"I mean it Hizashi," he cut in "I can't help you" or protect you "if you dont tell me these kind of things!"

Hizashi bit his lip before nodding. "You didnt laugh at me..."

"Why would I? Wait - Who laughed at you??" He asked, hair starting to rise in preparation for an ass kicking

"Shouta no!" Hizashi said seriously, though it was filled with amusement "I'm fine I promise... I'm great now actually... thank you for listening..."

Hizashi swallowed

"You're my best friend you know that?" He murmured softly

Shouta swallowed down the words, what about more? He gave a chuff and turned away, though the smile on his face was very obvious. Hizashi laughed at his friends actions and bumped the others shoulder.

"We should probably get to training hm?" Hizashi sighed, running a hand through his hair, now noticing how dirty his training clothes were.

Shouta stiffened at the thought of bringing Hizashi back to the forest.

"I'm too tired..." he groaned, laying his head down on Hizashis lap, pinning the blonde.

"Shou! Your dad is gonna kill us!" He laughed, though some genuine worry shone in his bright green eyes.

Shouta rolled his eyes, closing them before they got lost in the others.

"Dont care, I'm tired...you're tired... the logical choice is to take a nap"

"Naps aren't the solution to everything"

"Says who? Mochi likes them"

"Using your cat for an argument? That's low shou"

"Its logical. Plus if we nap now we can do something after school..."

"...you want to do something after school? Willingly?"

"Shove it blondie."

"Theres my grumpy friend!!"

"what was that thing you were talking about in homeroom?"

"Glad to know you were listening to me" he cackled, looking up at the ceiling in thought as his hand absentmindedly ran through shoutas hair "I was talking about a lot of things this morning! The arcade is open today, and Oh! The record shop just got in some new CDs I wanted to listen to. And you wanted to go to that cat cafe right? We could do that before and-"

Hizashi filled the room with idle chatter, the sound comforting to the both of them. Shouta hummed at appropriate times and responded when Hizashi actually asked a question.

Tomorrow he would go to every person that ever interacted with Hizashi, and threaten them away from bug filled pranks or teasing, least Shouta throw them across campus with his capture weapon. His friend loved a good prank... but there was a line. Shouta wouldnt let that line be crossed. Hizashi already had to deal with enough... and he did so much for everyone around him.

He cracked an eye open to look at the blonde, smirking as he saw Hizashi continue to ramble, his free hand gesticulating in excitement. This was how he was supposed to be... happy and carefree.

And like hell would he let anyone or anything hurt his friend.

#bnha hizashi #deaf hizashi #mha hizashi #aizawa x hizashi #yamada hizashi #young aizawa #young yamada #young erasermic #bug incident #ageswap #erasermic plotbunnies #erasermic #present mic #eraserhead #headcannon

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